#i can recognize when a woman is attractive but i dont think im actually attracted…..to women…….

[gnc-tits]

am i really just a gay man. is that it

[ileftherbackhome]

i think its especially funny when strangers make assumptions about your own personal beliefs on sex just because you're able to recognize that someone else's beliefs from sex differ from your own.

this is where i think everyone here being autistic is almost a hinderance to socialization blogs like aita sometimes because if you know me personally, i think everyone should be slutty ass cunts personally but i can also recognize that OTHERS dont hold that same opinion as me.

I'm not judging the situation based on my own personal beliefs, im judging situations based on what i think each POV feels like in that situation. it was clear from the way that anon was like "i already knew i didnt like her there wasnt a connection there" that the other girl in question does not want to engage in casual sex. in fact, she was probably waiting until she was sure anon girl liked her before she had sex with her.

which is why you should NEVER sleep with someone you've been romantic with when you ALREADY know you don't like them. sex will not make you catch feelings, regardless of what people claim about "not being handle fwbs" there is no known mechanism in sex that causes you to fall in love with your partners. we are not swans. we do not mate monogamous despite what our culture tells us we should be like.

some people will feel better about having sex in relationship contexts only and you have a responsibility to respect your partners' sexual autonomy. if anon girl had told the woman "hey you're fantastic to hang with but i am just not romantically interested in you. i do find you sexually attractive though" then the woman could have made an informed decision about sleeping with that anon with ALL pieces of information.

why didn't anon tell her she wasn't interested in a relationship BEFORE sleeping with her? you're not actually entitled to having sex with people who don't want to have sex with you outside of 1 particular context, actually.

idk yall i just find it hilarious that person was going off about how "sex isn't a holy act" as if i don't already think that 🙄🙄🙄

some of u need to learn that saying about assumptions u feel.

[redheadbigshoes]

i feel weird sending this and i really hope i’m not offensive in any way i’m just lost :( i can like the idea of men, i would fall in love with them without exchanging any words bc they would fit my idea of Perfect Guy to be The One. well, in reality (talking to them) they were always boring and i would feel weird and disconnected from them. With girls its not like this. I feel the whole thing intensely because i’m into them completely. but i still have those moments where i see a man and feel this attraction. but the point is: when I think about marrying and being with someone I want it to be a woman, i feel happy when i think about it. i dont feel the same with guys. But i feel weird calling myself bi and also not worthy of the label lesbian. but: could I call myself a lesbian? The identity makes me feel good and happy… I know i have this feeling with guys but i dont want to act on it bc it wouldn’t work that well in real life…?does that make sense? i feel like im just doomed to be with men, to have a sexuality that includes them, when i dont want it. i know i cant choose my sexuality, i’m sorry. i have nothing against bisexuals, i just feel this deep down

It’s normal to have questions and to be confused about your identity.

Let me understand: the men you like are usually the ones you imagine? You only like them when they’re in your imagination? When it comes to real life men and attainable men you don’t feel anything towards them?

If I understood you correctly those men aren’t real. They’re something your mind created of what’s a perfect man. A perfect man does not exist so that attraction to them could be fake attraction because you’re only being attracted to the idea of perfection.

The moments you mentioned you think you feel attraction to men, what do you feel? Something that’s very common to happen is to mistake attraction with finding people attractive. The first one comes with more intense feelings: maybe you feel like you want to date them, kiss them, have anything sexual with them, maybe even feel butterflies because of them. When it comes to finding someone attractive you’re simply recognizing the person’s physical beauty, it’s not attraction if you don’t feel anything else that’s positive. Gay men can find women attractive, straight women can find women attractive, straight men can find men attractive and lesbians can find men attractive and they’re all still not attracted to those people.

About the last questions you made: if you’re still questioning your identity there’s terms like queer and sapphic you could use before figuring out if you’re actually attracted to men or not. But you could also test the labels if you’re questioning your attraction to men.

I will always recommend people like you that are questioning if they’re bi or lesbian to read both the lesbian masterdoc and the bisexual manifesto. I also advise watching some of the videos on this tag.

[freebooter4ever]

unrelated to the stick but have you seen cooking with geno?

Haaaaaaaaaaaa. I have :) i mean...what self respecting geno fangirl hasnt? If im honest i think it was the first thing with him that i watched, but i was not paying attention to him at all at all then. Aside from noticing that Fuck He's Exactly My Type If I Ever Had One and being very annoyed by it. My ADHD research spiral in the summer of 2022 went something like this: ra*ngers -> pana*rin -> russ*an red w*ngs -> larion*ov...and then i side tracked over to alyonka's mental health/ E*D*O videos, and then her podcast which also interviewd several hockey players including her brother (which are really interesting btw)...tldr i actually watched that video more curious about alyonka than geno, cause in her more current stuff she talks a lot about those early 2000's days and what it was like working in the league as a woman. Unfortunately for geno at that point the only thing i knew about him was that he was on the penguins and that he said some shit in one interview about bread, and i had already decided based on that and his instgrm that he looked like an asshole. I cannot find that interview quote about breadman, for all i know it could have all been made up, but it reaaaaally made me dislike him. So the first time i watched the video i was doing my best to ignore geno and pretend like he wasnt radiating attractiveness. My one conclusion about that video and a few other old pens videos with alyonka (and not geno but other players) i watched was that i was surprised how much more informal things used to be. She felt very casual and more like a friend to the players than the more professional style interviews i have seen while watching this stuff live now.

And if none of that research spiral makes sense just be grateful you dont have ADHD.

ANYWAY then lucky for geno he features in my favorite hockey photo ever - that one of him sitting on the boards with the snow and baby blue jersey. So i had to draw that photo, and then i started paying more attention to him that season, and watched that dan and sushi interview, and realized shit i might have been wrong about this guy. And maybe my change of heart only has a little to do with his Very Pretty Eyes.

And moooooonths (a year?) later i finally rewatched the cooking with geno video and had to basically admit that my initial gut instinct of Oh Shit He's Hot reaction remained the same. He's a terrible cook, somehow even worse than me which is saying something cause i'm really fucking bad at it myself. But his physicality/personality rather shines in the clip. (i have heard people say he was sexualizing or staring at alyonka??? It doesnt look like that to me, they just seemed very comfortable with one another and maybe a little teasing but im not the best at recognizing flirting etc). Young Geno's got that same confidence/swagger as old(er) geno that in most guys would come across as arrogant but with him it's very quiet and understated. He makes a lot of dumb jokes. Even on my second viewing i still didnt understand the basketball joke. He didn't talk much but there were a lot of shy smiles. He reminded me a lot of my old friend ethan in attitude and height - just like how he kind of awkwardly looms in the background at times, and how all his obvious strength is sort of soft in a gentle way. He also seemed like a guy very willing to listen, which was cute. But -and this might be me projecting. But sometimes when people try to 'teach' me how to cook i play dumb just so i can check out and not use my brain and let them do all the thinking and tell me exactly what i need to do. Its very lazy and i recognize this but sometimes my brain is tired. And i swear geno was maybe doing that to alyonka at times. Like i think his effort in the video was at most 70%. Maybe 50%. It takes one lazy cook to know another one. And i am a very lazy cook.

Sorry anon, ive been cleaning and working all day so you got more than you asked for, basically a character study, whoops.

Oh, also on the second rewatch i realized the weird short grimlin who only appeared to eat the food and then disappeared was tanger. I did NOT recognize him. I still cant really believe thats him.

[malewifesband]

@holmsister

personally im never joking when i say kabru was flirting with laios there. laios has a lot of gay subtext around him (from his association with dogs [and i KNOW kui would know about dogs associations with gay men since ancient rome] to his rejection from male peers [which we can say autism all day long, but think about how cutesy toshiro pictures laios when thinking about how annoying he is--laios just is swishy in a way men pick up on]) and i think kabru could and would pick up on that and ise his attractiveness here as he would with a woman. others have called the fact that he flirts with no women despite being a notorious ladies man another bait and switch with his character, but i think he was using his charm deliberately

if laios were a female character, what he was doing would be recognized easily as flirtatious and laios' response to it as obvious attraction

now i dont think kabru was flirting to Get A Man but as simply a tool to gain Laios' trust. people give all kinds of leeway to their crushes, especially the ones they just met, and kabru would know that and use it

the real bait and switch is that laios is attracted, has a crush, and thats just not actually enough to change his mind about pursuing marcille later. bad plan kabru

hi, its me, kabru! im boyish and non-threatening! i use boku and not ore as my personal pronoun bc im a bubbly little guy! i would never hurt you or think about hurting you for the greater good. im not suspicious! forget about the very efficient way i stabbed your chimera sister, focus on my cute smile! you're a good artist btw. you better not forget my name, bc we know each other now! we know each other real well bc with me, kabru, what you see is what you get! im so nice.

[aftonfamilyvalues]

she didnt look like a man. she looked like a woman wearing a silco cosplay. which is how i could tell she was a woman and not a man. because you can typically tell the difference between short haired women in mens formal wear and regular ass men. do you think theres something wrong with being attracted to masculine women who embrace being women and know that rejecting femininity doesnt make them not women?"

By your own admission they arent a woman bc of her pronouns? Now you're saying bc your opinion and feelings on them that they are and you didn't just insult them and talk shit? Lmfao you spend alot of time creeping on people it seems bc you can instantly spot somebody in formal wear and tell their gender. By your own logic someone like Eliot Page isnt a man bc he isn't masc enough but wasnt a women before bc they looked masc beforehand.

It must be confusing to be so stupid and full of hate plus being small minded.

If this was 50 years ago you would be in a freak show 🤣

you lot tend to get really defensive over people having pattern recognition when it comes to recognizing biological sex. creepy? we are animals for fuck sake, it wouldnt serve us or any other species to not be able to tell who plays what role in reproduction. recognizing sex is literally the basis of sexuality and every time you play stupid youre being homophobic. gay people dont accidentally end up in gay relationships. if people couldnt tell the sexes apart, homophobia wouldnt exist and no gay person would get beaten or murdered for being gay.

anyway, that cosplayer is a woman who rejects her womanhood. she still is a woman and always will be but doesnt see herself as such. pronouns or any other view she may have of herself dont change her reality of being a woman though.

and elliot page isnt a man not because "he isnt masculine enough,” but because she was born female. she is and always has been a woman simply because of this fact. it doesnt matter what she calls herself or how drastically she alters her body. it never mattered how she acted or what she wore because femininity and masculinity have nothing to do with anyones sex. being a woman is the reality of being an adult human female, not an identity you can hop in or out of. same as the cosplayer. not sure where you pulled any of that bullshit from though.

but maybe if you could read what i wrote without twisting every word into something to be offended by you could understand what im actually saying and come up with an argument built upon that instead of arguing with an imaginary person over the made up point of view you gave them?<3

[krakenapologist]

do you think ed is gay or bi or is that a silly way of looking at things. i saw you turned on asks so i wanted to send an ask and ur url made me think....

this is actually a question i have asked myself and not known the answer to lmao. but ill try to say Something regardless bcuz i ❤️ talking

so. as im sure we’ve all noticed there are very few women im the show :(, now part of what that means is the only woman i remember ed notably interacting w (i’ve never fully rewatched so quite possibly im wrong,) was the lady at the party. yknow the one who was mabel. and obv there was no attraction there lmao. so ill reiterate that to be honest- i really cant tell w/o having any evidence. like theres no evidence to say he is or isn’t exclusively into men.

now. all of that said. i think that ed is way more aware of his orientation than stede, as in, like…. he has acknowledged to himself that he’s attracted to guys. (stede, on a deep level, recognizes that he’s gay and then when he meets ed he recognizes that he’s in love w/ him, but he is in denial/repressed/etc for most of the season. and he’s not sure it rlly counts as love buttttt we’ve talked ab that.) like ed’s had his dalliances w/ calico jack or whatever ykw like he’s at the least very cognizant that he’s a, how you say, mlm. but he’s CERTAINLY not as open ab this as, say, lucius or black pete etc.

which. it is interesting to me. his right hand(ha) man is izzy “homophobia” hands. whom he chokes for calling him a namby pamby pining after his boyfriend (which izzy enjoys maybe a little too much but u know how it is w/ izzy hands.) and he very much avoids mentioning his Past w jack (although thats more easily explained as him not wanting to say anything in front of stede for Obvious Reasons.) but anyway it does make me wonder how open he is ab it. like. imo i feel like it’s No Secret and rlly pretty clear that blackbeard likes dudes but i dont think he necessarily wld ever . say that. as much as it’s an understood thing. idk idk if im making sense here , im just thinking, pondering…

ANYWAY!! I THINK WHATS NOTABLE abt ed is that he is not expecting ! is not aware that he will!! is not prepared for! falling in love with stede bonnet! falling in very gentle lovely love . that is not something i think he saw in his cards, though it was very very probably something he wldve imagined longingly. yknow. knowing him. but that side of him was definitely not something he indulged before stede. see, the thing he really learns from stede about himself is that some men should concern themselves with gentler things. which is, in a way, his main arc when it comes to his sexuality (as well as his Everything) in the season. like that he can fall in tender soft love, with a man, as a man. be gentle. and then that all gets fucked up at the end which is FUN&CUTE.

anyway this explicitly didn’t answer ur question and so here’s the answer uve been waiting for: idk. gay in terms of my url is the general umbrella of gay. dont worry about it. yeah it was definitely a silly stupid question thats why i dont know, its ur fault,

[nothorses]

hey sorry if it comes off as weird, but i'm a bit desperate. i had a real bad time figuring out my identity growing up and for like, the past 4~5 years i've become really comfortable and happy whenever i referred and thought of myself as a gay nb trans man; i experience legit gender euphoria whenever ppl address or acknowledge me as such, and the most connection i feel is to gay/bi men/men-aligned ppl. that said, i've struggled with obsessive/intrusive thoughts since i'm like, 12~13 due to (1/?)

a phobia, and they often appeared when i was already feeling low/stressed/anxious over unrelated stuff. y'know when you're having a good time and suddenly your brain goes 'oh hey, remember that thing you have doubts about and makes you distressed? and you think it's not true? well, here it is again (: you're welcome!'. that's it.

so social isolation due to the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health and recently i have been... struggling a lot not only with dysphoria (i was supposed to start hrt last year but it was postponed due to, well), but also with obtrusive/intrusive thoughts over 'how i'm faking it, i am actually a cis lesbian' (i never felt attracted truly to women, even tho i had kissed two before, and i am Positively attracted to men in a way i can only describe as 'gay').

it has gotten to a point where i cannot think about, y'know, woman characters from stuff i like that i feel like this is somehow a sign i'm actually a lesbian; i have been dreaming a lot of situations i'm either framed as a lesbian or a straight girl, i have been hyperaware of how cis ppl perceive me (pre-transition, as 'girl') and obsessing over little shit like, if women are looking at me in certain ways when i have to go out (sometimes even 'wishing' it, as if it wanting to 'prove' anything).

i feel...... exhausted, none of these make me feel good, all of this makes me feel distressed. i get dreadful when i take 'lol ur lesbian' results at stupid internet quizzes too. i feel like i cannot talk to anyone about it bc i feel like they're gonna try to feed me either 'internalized lesbophobia' or terf rhetoric, which is smth im v aware of, and part of the reason i've been obsessing over as well.

i had mild doubts about stuff before (like if i was rly a binary trans guy or nb, or if i was bisexual) but none was... like this, y'know.  i was also dumb and read a bbc article about detransitioning ppl which opened with 'studies say most trans ppl dont doubt' etc. featuring two cis lesbians that detransitioned after entering a relationship with one another. i feel rly rly rly dreadful i wish i could go back to feeling like myself (gay and guy) like i did before.

i'm sorry for the longest fucking ask btw, and also, tumblr hadnt let me send the rest for like, Hours, i'm deeply sorry

[Edited for formatting]

I think a lot of this is very normal, especially for transmascs.

We’re constantly fed this idea that we can’t really trust our own perception of reality, that we don’t know ourselves as well as others do, and that the things we believe about ourselves are temporary, silly, and “signs” of some deeper reality that someone else knows for us. It’s only natural that we’d internalize some of those feelings, and struggle to trust even the most irrefutable evidence of our own realities.

If it helps to have some tools in those moments, a couple of reminders:

Cis girls do not typically dread the idea of being girls. They might dread the social repercussions or expectations, they might hate girls who look/act in certain ways, but they do not typically hate that they are girls.

If you are feeling dread over the idea that you might be attracted to women, you probably aren’t! It’s good to work on feeling more at peace with the possibility, because orientation can be very fluid for some folks, and being ready to accept yourself if things change takes a lot of pressure off- but if you don’t want to be with women, you just literally do not have to be with women. For any reason. Even if you are “secretly” attracted to them, if you don’t want to be with them anyway, you simply do not have to be.

Trans people experience doubt. We experience it all the time. We experience it pretty much endlessly! Maybe there are trans folks who never, ever doubt their genders, and I’m very happy for them; but that’s the exception, not the rule, in my experience. This study talks about the steps toward trans self-acceptance, and finds each step is an ongoing process, and often a back-and-forth. It was very comforting for me to recognize the patterns & know I’m not alone.

The focus on AFAB detransitioners is driven by transandrophobia. Because saving the “poor little girls” is a compelling motivator in a misogynistic society. Most detransitioners are actually folks who were AMAB, and found the societal pressure and backlash was too overwhelming, or made things too unsafe, for them to carry on with their transitions. Most detransitioners, period, are people who had to stop because of safety issues, or lack of access to their transition needs.

It’s very normal to go through periods of high doubt, and periods of high self-assuredness. You may just have to ride this out; surround yourself with as much support and love as you can, remind yourself that those fears aren’t really based in reality, and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Try to make choices that prioritize your mental and emotional health.

You will get through this period of doubt, and come back to finding love and joy in your identity again! It might just take a little time & patience.

(Also no worries over the sending confusion; Tumblr’s a lil broken sometimes, and it’s genuinely not even remotely an issue.)

[armillary-spheres-lover]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

[nbapprentice]

You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.

okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step

the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to. 

gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)

i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).

that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about

CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning

bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.

we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.

the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.

transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god. 

very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.

pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.

onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃

hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.

and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)

and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).

this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.

so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])

but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.

Don’t Like That.

i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/

tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Pan? Polysexual sounds better now

Back to guys, gay girls, nonbinaries, pan, bi, gender-fluid, and queer people.

I might have to take a recap on matches who are trans for right now,

I still have a lot to learn about what my true identity is for right now.

Because I really can't stick to just one label...

Aye, that's just me. And dating apps are starting to feel like a job, there's too many people matching with me and trying to remember names is getting a lot to handle when you're on 3 different apps and about 20 conversations going at the same time. And still 99 people waiting on you to swipe right on them, on each one. And plus I'm not as picky about looks as I was before, so I'm mostly reading just bios, analyzing photos to see what could be their interests in, and making sure I'm not being too passive on red flags when people talk to you.

I will admit, I still swipe right on them if they're trans and I'm attracted to them. I just know me, I'd rather date someone who was fully transitioned or somebody who is still on the nonbinary, before part. Only because I know me.

I had to watch someone I had already grown into getting to know and getting attached to, and then when I finally got comfortable with them for over a yr, they changed that drastically during those 3months we were separate and I had no idea about it.....I'm not sure if I could watch it happen before my eyes. Cause then I would have to miss the way they were before, because of my attraction to their naturally mixed feminine/masculine looking features and actions. So, ideally I wouldn't have changed anything about them.

I don't wanna grow attached to a voice or a face or a body that will no longer be there tomorrow. I know that person before is still in there, but it's different when you're romantically attracted to them, been intimate with them vs when you're just a friend. My experience shocked and scared my paranoia and fear of change. I remember crying when my dad started growing white and grey hairs in his beard. Cause I never want my dad to change, cause I've grown up with him being this strong man that always was there for me, held me, made me feel safe, calmed me down when I had my moments, and tucked me in when I wanted to feel comfortable. He showed me that he always loved me, always cared about me, and that he was never gonna leave me. As if he's never gonna die during my time on this earth. Seeing his greyishly, white hairs, I thought death and that my daddy will soon no longer be the fun, happy, strong dad that I've always been with as his princess. And that's kind of what vibe this particular person was to me, even though they weren't as smart, strong, or always there for me....cause most of the time my nights alone cause they couldn't or didn't know I needed them to be there fo r me like that to feel loved or just to feel wanted. Cause I couldn't speak up.

But now, that they has turned into a he. I feel like its brutally denying me to chance to not only say goodbye to them as they, but I would have to get reacquainted to HE, with a totally different name, maybe different personality, maybe different sexuality, and I won't know if I like the new evolved version of this person. The fear of the unknown is high for me. Especially when there's a 40% rate of fems that decided to change their sexual orientation after taking testosterone. I 'm possessive about my partners and I would hate to know that after seeing this person physically change and go through so much emotional/mental changes that one day they decide "Hey, I think I like men now, I wanna give this a shot. Could we make this work?"

I would tell Him, to go right ahead and go on a date with that coworker or guy on Tinder/Grinder. But I'm not gonna be here when you come home. Because to me that's some bullshit. And I've known this person well enough to know, that they don't mind using other people to meet their sexual needs that I can't possibly give them due to my actual gender and my body as such. I wouldn't want to share my partner, nor watch them get fucked by another man...because I'm not a man, im a woman...theres a huuuuuugggeeee difference.

And if it ever came to that point 3 yrs later and He became someone I didn't know anymore, because of the hormones changing how they feel as a man, dysphoria gone....I get it, you've hated yourself for years and now you're happy in the dream body you always asked for. But, I would be scared to lose you, to whoever else you decide to open up to in your selections. Cause you're that type to leave to please you and not make it work. I don't want somebody who changes their mind all the time about who they wanna be, who else do they wanna smash, and who else they can flirt with. That's cheater mentality.

And I'm sorry trans community that I'm basing my recent experience with someone as the example for the rest of you. Because I know there are some ftm's who've already changed and stayed with their partners. I just don't know if I could trust this process, knowing the effects, the research on whether or not they become completely detached to women or become bisexual... I can't.

And I'm thankful for the ftm's that have been posting youtube videos and tiktoks for viewers like me who are curious about the possible cons, and physical or emotional changes they've overcome. I was shocked the first time I ever watched a bandaged ftm, who finally unrevealed their scars from top surgery. I've always been preparing myself for this. Because I knew one day, that this cute, fluffy, soft skinned, white latino looking, but really just mixed mocha, nonbinary person was gonna be...changed over a year or so. I thought I could prepare for it, so that when it does happen it doesn't hurt as much to watch to them in pain if the bleeding from the scars are irritating them or if one day they're super cranky and obnoxious for what seems to be no reason. Or if one day they end up feeling they dont need anybody like Zanthos, with the 4 avenger rings lol.

But I'm too damn fucking sensitive. I was born this way. I've always prepared myself with the worst and the best information, that way when it does happen, the tidal wave of emotions from the reaction, doesn't end up torching my soul or blowing me out the water. Cause I am gay. I adore women, men, and when I met this person I loved them as an in-betweener as nonbinary. They are so brutally harsh, twisted, manipulative, jealous, and possesive. But I've always liked that they had these emotions inside of them that they hold back because they don't wanna seem so soft, always hiding this feminine quality about them because ideally, they're pretty looking, gorgeous eyes that can turn black cold like obsidian, and those fucking cheeks and cat nose. I've only seen the slight hips, but I didn't mind it. And they've always hid their body away even when we would try to have sex. I knew the dysphoria was there, cause again I prepared myself to be patient and kind.

So, I'm glad they're turning a new leaf to make themselves feel more confident about being recognized in society as a full, grown ass man. I'm pretty sure HE, is gonna get cocky af, cause that's just the way he was when they were they.

I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm afraid of what will happen down the line years later. But that's just me being afraid. If He ends up not liking me anymore, I know it won't be the end of the world and I walked away at the right time when I did. Because this person is currently separated from me, and I'm still insecure about that part too. Not knowing how they are during this transition for what may become years or not...I hope HE is doing okay and not piercing everyone with their new, world domination, ego.

I just don't wanna imagine them get fucked by a guy....sorry that's just me. And will their buttery ass kisses, still be as sweet anymore?

Will I be ok with HE having chest hair?

Will I love the sound of their new voice or will I just hate it, while still missing the old, brodie, sexy, slightly feminine voice?

Especially when they used to go all soft and cuddly on me over the phone, it was soooo cuteeee. I miss our phone and text conversations.

Will they grow into another relationship with somebody else because they started to become unattached and unattracted to my body, my tits, my hips, my vagina even....just because they completely changed their identity?

And I still a woman? I've only thought about wearing a binder a couple of times, and yes, I do watch ftm and trans porn because I did like the fantasy of being intimate with someone who had a bigger clit size or just having a big clit of my own that felt like a dick.

I'm willing to admit that. Because let's be honest, boys get away with so much more shit as a male, compared to us females.

I wish I could grow a dick overnight and nobody not know I'm still a chick! Lol, but I still don't like the all over hair body growth and I still want my vagina back. Like a rental suit with an actual dick and no tits. Those are the onllyyyyyyyyy things I've thought about, but would never admit out loud. Only because I still like my body and my gender identity as is. I feel like the blue girl from X-Men could get away with it, cause she can be anybody she wants to and go back to being herself at the end of the day. And still camouflage behind walls. Lucky chick. Especially if she could teleport, oh he'll yeah.

It's gonna take me awhile to get over this, so please be patient with me. As I'm trying not to cry as I watch my ftm porn get fucked by a guy. Cause I used to be heavy into it, now I feel wrong for watching it and then I'm reminded "40% chance, you're watching it" 😞🤮😫

[feminisedlad]

o wait same person and different question sorry to be annoying just feel like if I asked my friends this stuff they’d get mad lol! Is it just me or is the framework of ‘gay people can only like non-binary people who are man/woman aligned’ kinda :/. Gay friend of mine says it’s ok to like a man-aligned nb person but if he liked an un-aligned nb person he couldn’t call himself gay anymore as it would be misgendering the nb person because gay men only like men? But like,,

,,,that doesn’t make sense to me because non-binary people aren’t men or women (?) idk I guess when u try to define ‘who a gay person can like before they have to rename themselves’ things start to not make sense to me v much. I don’t see why a gay person can’t just like an unaligned nb person without ‘denouncing their gay card’ or something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

for the record i only got these two asks so if u sent something else i def didnt get it. im also not sure if you meant to send me this but whatever!

to be totally honest i think the idea of ‘man aligned’ and ‘woman aligned’ non-binary people is like. a huge cop-out. i mean if an individual non-binary person chooses to identify that way, obviously thats fine, but most of the time i see that structure imposed on non-binary people rather than the other way around. which im not a huge fan of. i think the most interesting differences between non-binary people have to do with our lived experiences, as opposed to whether we more closely map onto “man” or “woman”. like, im a fairly feminine nb person, but im also on testosterone -- so where does that put my “alignment”, yfm?

which brings me to your actual question because like.. by what metric is your friend deciding who’s “man-aligned” and who’s not? maybe he’s relying on whether individual nb people use that term, which would probably be ok -- but more likely, he’s making judgment calls which are completely arbitrary and based on appearance, even though non-binary people can look like anybody, so like. that distinction is bound to be meaningless.

i think its possible to get into questions about how people are materially treated -- if i had never gone on t but my boyfriend still had, we’d likely be treated as a straight couple even if my identity as a non-binary “man” stayed the same. and honestly sometimes if i get SUPER fem we still get treated as a straight couple, whereas when im masc (well, masc by my metric) we get treated like a gay couple. lgb people dont like to hear this, but sexuality literally is a social construct -- that doesnt make attraction any less real, it just means that its completely socially defined. in a society where nb people constituted a legally-recognized third gender across the world, sexual orientation and identity discussions would implicitly involve nb people -- gay men would still be gay, lesbians would still be lesbians, but the way we’d talk about nb people would be different!

so this is a lot of words to say i agree with you. i think a lot of lgb people (and the occasional trans person who’s not non-binary) tend to have strange ideas about what it means to be non-binary, which leads to people making distinctions that aren’t based in reality. on any given day two people could decide i’m “fem-aligned” (because i dress femininely) or “masc aligned” (because im on testosterone) and none of that has to do with me.

[freebooter4ever]

I agree with the imposter syndrome as well. I'm just guessing at my sexuality in all fairness. I'm in my thirties and i've never had sex even. I've dated one guy once and it was only a week. I broke it off cause I didn't think I really liked him (even though i was gonna ask him out if he didn't ask me??). Also, we made out knce and that bothered me cause I didn't feel anything after doing so for an hour. I'm sorry it hurts for you :/ i don't think it should hurt. But glad that person is your ex!

Hahaha you have a similar problem i have the -only good in theory- problem. I have an overactive imagination AND i tend to be attracted to personality rather than looks, so often i will /think/ im madly infatuated with a person only to like actually end up kissing them and not enjoying it at all. My bisexuality is only in theory too - but as i grew older, and started to analyze why certain female friendships blew up so spectacularly, i started to realize that there was a definite difference between when i /liked liked/ someone versus when i just felt friendly towards them. I think thats one thing being bi has made easier - now if i do get a crush on one of my friends man or woman, i can recognize the signs and also recognize if i am acting out or being obnoxiously clingy in a way i would never do with one of my platonic bffs. I think i might have hurt a number of friends prior to realizing this shit :/

anyway, thats why labels to me are personal, and are purely defined by my own experience. I think its great that other people use labels defined by general experience and find community in that - sometimes i too feel that....but for the most part i am content with knowing that i know my own feelings, and that i dont care if outsiders have opinions that im not 'performing' my 'sexuality' correctly.

[gizkasparadise]

Kdrama review: Vagabond

Master Kdrama rec list.

Series: vagabond Episodes: 16 (14 of 16 aired so far) Genres: Intrigue, action/adventure, SADNESS, drama/tragedy, J U S T I C E, thriller, romance Spoilers in the Review: first episode/basic premise If You Like, You’ll Like: the guardians/lookout!, Taking The Law Into Your Own Hands, four brothers, gu family book, just between lovers/rain or shine, I Lived Bitch, lee seung gi playing yet another wannabe action star that has to run all the time, lee seung gi playing yet another character in love with suzy bae, wholesome high fives, having to run really fast as the bullets go put put ting ting ting behind you, PARKOUR 

Rank: 10/10

“we didn’t die! we didn’t fucking die! high five!!”

-

ok let’s get this out of the way:

do i understand any of the political plot? i do not. is it easy for me to keep track of various Machinations? no i have no idea what’s happening 9 times out of 10. could most of this be solved by singular phone calls? probably. why the hell is a vagabond?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[puts on aviators]

i don’t give a fuck about all that

premise [SPOILERS for first ep, cw child death]

cha dal gun is a stuntman and martial artist who is raising his nephew after the death of his brother. he has such a signature look in the flashbacks:

a look

he’s not the best in terms of success, but he loves his nephew a lot and does what he can. he teaches his nephew martial arts, and his nephew makes a Super Elite Child Tae Kwon Do Team that pays for him to attend a Diplomatic Tae Kwon Do match in morocco. idk why diplomacy is resting on children’s small fighting shoulders, but okay. 

dal gun’s entire life spirals when his nephew’s plane to morocco unexpectedly crashes, killing everyone on board. Evidence emerges that makes him suspect a cover up, which eventually involves...

go hae ri, a rookie intelligence agent who is not so great at her job. the majority of her coworkers dont expect much from her because they’re awful. hae ri wants to continue her steady government position without obstacles but that doesn’t work when dal gun decides to

P U N C H

his way to 

J U S T I C E

-

main characters

cha dal gun

former stuntman trying to get by turned vigilante roof hopper. he will make you cry. following the death of his nephew, he’ll do Whatever It Takes to uncover the political conspiracy and government cover up surrounding the mysterious plane crash. for justice.

lowkey trying out to be an assassin’s creed player character. does push-ups upside down and shirtless because sbs producers know what they’re about. doesn’t smile much but when he does the lighting on the show increases 17%. he lived, bitch

go hae ri

rookie agent who doesn’t do combat missions. she spends a couple eps Avoiding the Call, but once she gets going she cannot and will not be stopped. brains to dal gun’s brawn. the daughter of a heroic marine who died saving lives, she wants to do the right thing for justice

her hair is so excellent because it’s full of secrets. over sharer. does not know when to recognize that someone has a crush on her. doesn’t think enough of herself. very concerned about people’s dal gun well-being. has the code name elsa? like from frozen?? why???

ki tae woong

a senior at the national intelligence service and you know he’s By the Book because he’s like 1 of 2 people that habitually wears a tie to work. but he also has the Is He A Second Lead? Hair Part so that lets you know he’s actually soft at heart. capable and super cool under pressure, he also, you guessed it, has a sense for justice. 

the blue to dal gun’s red. will do what’s right and if you don’t do what’s right he will scold you for it or be Grimly Disapproving. has the vibe of an intelligence agent who actually submits the paperwork on time in triplicate

some support characters selected by how much they are my favorites

park gwang deok

this man will make you cry. because justice.

gong hwa sook

hae ri’s bff who also works at the national intelligence service. im sure they said what her actual job is at one point, but she’s basically the one who squints at surveillance footage and Finds The Hidden Clue after Enlarging The Image. ride or die, will try to protect you from shame (for justice)

lee jessica / jessica lee

im sure you immediately know who this woman is based on the all-white pantsuit. jessica works for a Company of War that is seeking to get a government contract for providing fighter planes. mmwhatchasay. screams into cellphones a lot while never putting her arms into the sleeves of her designer jackets. has no sense for justice!!

lily

an assassin/mercenary who (gasp) also has a low (low) key sense of justice. is hired by jessica for Reasons. i love her so much. i need more lily in the remaining episodes.

Drawbacks.

does it always make sense? to be honest i could not even tell you a yes or no here

there are many interchangeable evil men in suits

people complain about suzy bae (hae ri)’s acting but honestly i enjoy it so w/e

Reasons to Watch.

THE GRIEVING FAMILY MEMBERS OF THE VICTIMS OF THE PLANE CRASH. one thing vagabond does really well is remember that this isn’t just dal gun’s loss. several family members have important roles in the activism for justice and lmao they make me cry. i cry so much at this show. it’s very human and reminds me of how trauma is addressed in just between lovers/rain or shine

action scenes!!!! it’s all off the fucking chain. like. the production value is so high for this show you can almost see SBS execs figuring out how many subway sandwich scenes need to go into the next drama they write

the mains!!! all three are so great and good and excellent. dal gun and hae ri have some awesome character development throughout -- hae ri especially

the romance between dal gun and hae ri is incredibly sweet and fluffy despite the intense situations they’re in

dal gun is Very Aware that hae ri is Attractive and does a lot of awkward throat clearing while hae ri is just like DID YOU EAT TODAY

Final Thoughts.

power moves! things that make me cry! slow motion action sequences for the aesthetic! battle/power couple! and of course

J U S T I C E

[ishades]

truten hcs 1/?

trunks catches videls bouquet with his face at her and gohans wedding. (she sort of accidentally threw them at him on purpose) goten laughs and picks them up for him

trunks was the first to fall in love. hed liked goten since he was 8 but it was just a crush he didnt actually consciously recognize. he first realizes hes in love with goten after goten goes on his first date at thirteen and comes home broken-hearted. 

he comes out as bi to his grandma paunchy first. and she laughs and just says “oh you really do take after your mother.”

he comes out to his mother next and she tells him she figured and that it was fine. she still loved him there was no need to worry about rejection over something like sexuality in this family

he comes out to his father last. hes reassured his father won be mad at him at this point. but that fear of dissapointment hes always carried when it comes to his father persists. vegeta takes is surprisingly well

“its none of my business the nature of your attraction.” and they continue training together. after theyre done and taking a breather, vegeta pats his back and says in his gruff voice “love is what makes a person strong. loving another is the most powerful thing anyone can do. much more powerful than super saiyan 3. im proud of you.” he wont look at trunks but he can see his fathers a little red in the face, eyes misty. he doesnt try to make fun of his father for it.

just hugs him as tight as he can and vegeta makes a big stink about it grumbling at first but letting it happen. he rests an arm around his sons shoulders and they just sit like that together for a minute. 

its just like the first time his father hugged him. but different. because this time he really knows his father loves him

vegetas more than a little miffed about trunks being in love with “kakarots spawn” and insists goten “seduced my son”. he gets over it soon enough and becomes on of his sons biggest supporters only rivaled by gohan and paunchy. goku... gokus really up there too tbh

gotens really scared to come out to his mother but chichis really understanding and accepting. “i want you to be happy son. i married an alien and had two children with him. you being in love with a man is small potatoes. love is love.” much like vegeta shes kind of disappointed in his taste in men but gets over it quickly. shes known trunks since he was a baby. life goes on. she gets trunks and goten to join that years couples holiday picture 

goten works at a zoo in his teens but later becomes a nurse. if the zoo ever calls him for help hes on it though no questions asked. he loves feeding the baby raptors

also worked at a wcdonalds... can no longer eat food from wcdonalds

their first kiss is in trunks’ room. when theyre 16. theyre listening to a daft punk album while goten vents his dating woes to trunks. “she told me i kiss like a drunk walrus. its not my fault it was my first kiss” trunks asks if hed like some practice, palms sweating. 

trunks leans in, heart racing and goten doesnt pull away. instant crush plays in the background. gotens date was right: he does kiss like a drunk walrus.

“have you kissed other boys before?” goten asks when they separate, cheeks red. trunks wipes his mouth with his wrist.

“have i kissed boys before? youre kidding right? im irresistible, and dont you forget it son goten” he strikes a silly pose and all the tension evaporates in the room.

they eat dinner with trunks’ family that evening and they try not to think about the kiss. trunks does pretty well on that department until he gets back to his room after goten leaves and just holds a pillow to his face screaming. 

the two fake practices afterwards are really anything but. goten finally admits the third time that he wished they did it more often.

trunks asks him out after like a week of internal and external debate (vegeta keeps telling him to get to it). he ends up blurting it out when theyre playing video games one afternoon

they literally get married the day after goten graduates. goten argues he should get two cakes instead of one. chichi doesnt budge

theyre completely functional apart but hate being separated for long. theyre each others best friend! just being in the same room togethers bliss.

when they argue... boy. trunks yells and then clams up and gets really quiet. goten has a mix of goku and gines temperament so stuff usually... takes awhile to build up for him. 

they make up really quick.

trunks is trans bi and gotens cis bi.  

trunks springs the question on goten randomly one day. (”hey. do you wanna have a baby? with me.”) and goten really really does he wants a family with a kid.

asks trunks to let him think about it (he goes over their finances and checks out how long they could be on paternity leave for their respective jobs)

then they go see shenron. and ask for a baby of their own who takes after both of them. it takes shenron a day to magic up that baby but then theyre literally holding their own child swaddled up in their arms by the time dinners ready.

they name her son korusetto daikon vegeta-briefs (korusetto like corset and daikon like the radish. vegeta gives her that name) yes shes got liek three last names and she owns it

she has black and purple hair because shes literally a fusion of her fathers.

tfw you and your husband have to perform the fusion dance to get your daughter to stop crying for thirty minutes but vegeta can hold her and shell perk up or calm down immediately.

bras 15 when they make the wish and she launches into aunt / big sister mode immediately.

gohans best uncle hands down

they make uub and marron little daikons godparents and theyre both so excited. 

trunks and videl have lunch dates like once a month and just kind of bond. videls the older sister he never had and now that hes older shes not the gross girl dating his best friends brother. shes a cool woman with a wicked sense of humor he can vent about what a hassle it is to date a son with.

they renew their vows ten years after they get married and its mushy. they terrorize the party goers 

theres more but thats just a little bit

[catboyfeli]

so i cried last night bc of how broken i feel for being exclusively attracted to femme men, and how my attraction is inherently queer but dissmissed as "straight" just bc its heterosexual, even though it doesnt conform to heteronormativity in the slightest and how i have no representation and am made to feel inferior in my attraction to men and how theres literally no support for gnc m/f relationships because its seen as "accepted" when being a female whos exclusively attracted to femme men is the exact fucking opposite of accepted or heteronormative and is basically a separate sexuality that gets no support and how i just wish i was a lesbian or a trans guy so id feel more valid and actually get recognition and support :)))

even if i was cishet my attraction to men is inherently queer and oppresses me but progressives dont fucking care. it makes me just wanna curl up and die. i hate the fucking culture of denouncing gender roles but also pushing men and women in m/f relationships into boxes and then calling everyone who doesnt fit the mold nonbinary when gender identity and gender expression are vastly fucking different things. speaking of that gender expression has so much more impact than gender identity and i will never not defend the fact that gnc people are inherently lgbtq even if theyre cishet because a cishet man who takes on the female gender role is never going to fucking be the same as a gender conforming cishet man and goddamn being invisible isnt a privilege not being able to see myself in my favorite characters without people getting pissy isnt privilege. my queer attraction to femme men is the biggest part of my identity yet im made to feel ashamed for it and as if i fit the heteronormative mold when i never fucking will im so sick of this bullshit. im tired of being told i have representation when i can never relate to or see myself in media because its fucking heteronormative bullshit that NOT ALL M/F COUPLES FIT YOU SACK OF LARD JUST ONE GNC HET COUPLE IS ALL I ASK FOR. JUST FOR ONCE I WANT MY STRUGGLES WITH MY ATTRACTION TO BE RECOGNIZED AND VALIDATED AND NOT BRUSHED OFF AS NONEXISTENT. I FACE WAY MORE SHIT FOR MY ATTRACTION TO FEMME MEN THAN MY ATTRACTION TO WOMEN AND ITS ALMOST LIKE THATS BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO DONT CONFORM TO GENDER ROLES ARE SEEN AS SUBHUMAN AND THATS WHY PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO USE THE NONBINARY LABEL SINCE ITS EASIER THAN ASSESSING THIS INTERNALIZED BIGOTRY TOWARDS PEOPLE AND ESPECIALLY CISHETS WHO DONT FIT THE MOLD. BECAUSE GOD FORBID A CISHET BE OPPRESSED AND FACE STRUGGLES UNIQUE TO THEM BEING CISHET SINCE THERES LITERALLY NO SUPPORT OR REPRESENTATION FOR GNC M/F COUPLES.

being heterosexual and being straight are not the same thing. i wish there was a proper distinction. a man who takes on the female gender role dating a woman who takes on the male gender role is heterosexual but not straight in the slightest. i just want fucking representation. just a little piece. ill take anything. i just want to stop feeling invisible and invalidated all the time. i want people to recognize how much more important gender expression is than gender identity because femme and female presenting men get so much shit, and me being exclusively attracted to them gets me so much shit and people think theres something wrong with me and that i should ""want a real man"" and im tired of feeling broken and getting no support since """its straight""" so im """plenty represented"""