#i can only hope i have zero children in my class tomorrow and that i can then do all of this then

[dontwanderoff]

i had soooo much to do this weekend and its currently after 2pm on sunday and ive done zero of those things :)

[ejzah]

A/N: I somewhat jokingly suggested this idea a while back and then decided to run with it.

***

In Miss Blye’s Class

“Have a good rest of your day, Malachi,” Kensi said, waving at the five year old as he walked towards the classroom door, weighed down by a backpack almost as big as he was. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Miss Blye!” he shouted back. “I’m going to bring my new fish so everyone can see it.”

“Oh, ok.” Kensi nodded even as she planned to send out a message to Malachi’s mom, warning her of his plans to take Fred the fish on an outing. “Caleb, are you a car rider or taking the bus today?” she added to a blonde little boy who was hanging back in the line.

“A car rider,” he answered, flashing a grin with a space in the middle. He’d only been attending the school a couple weeks, but he’d already proved himself an interesting little personality. “I get to see my babysitter today.”

“Ok, well make sure you show mom or dad those papers I put in your backpack when you get home, alright?” He nodded, dipping his head as he walked out the door.

The rest of the class filed out slowly, leaving a trail of random papers, toys they weren’t supposed to have, and other random school supplies behind them. Once the last of her kindergartners was out the door, Kensi allowed herself to expel a long sigh. She plopped down in her desk chair, closing her eyes, and pressed her thumbs in the hollows on either side of her nose.

If someone has asked her 10 years ago if she wanted to be a teacher, let alone teach 20-some 5-6 years old, she would have laughed awkwardly and firmly declined. For years, she’d maintained that she didn’t particularly like children and had zero idea how to interact with them.

Then she’d gotten a job, out of complete desperation, at a daycare the summer after her Freshman year of college. At first, she was completely terrified and out of her element, but eventually, she grew to love it and decided to switch to an early education degree.

She’d be the first to admit that some days she felt like pulling her hair out and quitting. There was always a reason to stay though. Like Malachi and his love for show and tell (even if it meant he frequently brought in completely inappropriate things) or tiny Angelique, who came running in every day for a hug.

Her phone rang and Kensi allowed herself two more seconds before she answered it, recognizing the main office extension.

“Hi Nicole, what’s up?”

“Caleb Deeks was never picked up from the bus rider line,” she informed Kensi. “He’s waiting in the office now.”

“Right, I’ll be down in a minute.” Rolling her eyes, Kensi muttered a few choice words to herself. It had been an extremely long week so far and she really didn’t have the energy to deal with a parent who couldn’t be bothered to pick up his kid on time.

Since they’d just moved in mid-year and she’d been out the day Caleb was enrolled, she knew almost nothing about his family. He’d mentioned having a dog and his dad several times, but otherwise, she was mostly working on assumptions. For what it was worth, Caleb did seem happy and taken care of.

She paused to grab a couple toys and coloring books on her way out, still thinking uncharitable thoughts.

The secretary, Nicole, had the office phone glued to her right ear, short brown hair in a tiny ponytail. She nodded to where Caleb was waiting in one of the large, blue-cushioned chairs, his legs dangling off the seat. His body was half-turned away as he looked out the window, a hand tangled in his shoulder length hair.

“Hi Caleb,” she said, crouching down by the side of his chair. He whipped his head around, his lower lip tucked between his teeth.

“Miss Blye, my dad didn’t come to get me yet,” he told her, worry in his eyes.

“I heard, Sweetie.”

“I hope something bad didn’t happen.”

“I’m sure he just got stuck in traffic or something,” Kensi assured him. “Hey, I brought that puzzle Nevaeh was playing with earlier. You wanna help me with it?”

He eyed her, and the puzzle a little dubiously, then gave her a shy smile from under his bangs, taking the small cardboard box. Once it was open, he instantly started turning all the pieces over, sorting out the edge piece.

“Daddy always does the top and I do the bottom,” he told her while he worked at a section of blue sky with a fluffy white cloud. His tongue crept out every so often as he concentrated, little fingers methodically trying piece after piece. “He says you should do the edges first, then the middle.”

“That sounds like pretty good advice,” Kensi commented. In the end, Caleb completed most of the puzzle on his own, chatting the entire time. She’d learned that his dog was named Monty, he loved the beach, and absolutely hated anchovies on pizza. He was very firm about that point.

“Daddy says we have to take care of the fish,” Caleb informed her about 15 minutes later. The puzzle was finished and now he was coloring a picture from the Little Mermaid.

Kensi wasn’t quite sure when the conversation had shifted from their favorite colors to ecology. Five years as a kindergarten teacher had taught her to go to the flow though, so she made a noise of interest, which he took as apparent agreement. “If we don’t take care of the fish, then they’ll all die and then we can’t surf anymore and I like to surf.” He paused, a purple crayon poised between thumb and forefinger. “And I like fish too. Except for not p’ranas cause they can bite you.”

Kensi found herself grinning at his impressive knowledge base mixed with little kid logic.

“Definitely gotta watch out for those piranhas,” Kensi agreed with faux seriousness.

“Oh, I think dad is finally here,” Nicole announced, the implication heavy in her tone as she nodded towards the parking lot. Kensi craned her neck to see while Caleb scrambled back on the chair, rising on his knees.

Sure enough, there was a tall dressed in khakis and a white button down headed towards the front entrance. His hair blew across his face as he jogged across the parking lot. Nicole buzzed him through and Caleb jumped off his chair, racing towards the door before it was fully open.

“Daddy!” he shouted, launching himself at his dad, who crouched and caught him against his chest just as he made impact. “I thought you were never coming.”

“Hey Kiddo,” he said, holding Caleb’s head against his chest briefly. He sighed, apparently forgetting or not caring that he had witnesses. Now that Kensi had a better look, she saw that his hair was slightly darker than Caleb’s and stopped about halfway down his neck, and currently in a state of complete disarray.

“Mr. Deeks, pickup is at 3:30,” Nicole spoke up, reminding Kensi that she was staring. She stood a little awkwardly, not sure where to direct her attention as Mr. Deeks shifted Caleb onto his hip and approached the desk.

“I’m so sorry Miss Kusbal,” he offered apologetically. “I got hung up at work, which I realize is a terrible excuse, but I promise it won’t happen again.” His face was turned away from her, but he must have been pretty convincing because Nicole tilted her head, one eyebrow arched, and then she nodded.

“I suppose everyone gets a free pass every now and then. Just don’t make a habit of it.”

“I won’t.”

“I’m Kensi Blye by the way, Mr. Deeks,” Kensi added, moving around to his side. “Caleb’s teacher.”

He turned to face her, eyes widening with recognition as Caleb wriggled out of his grip and darted over to the coloring book again.

“Marty Deeks. It’s great to finally meet you, Ms. Blye,” he said, shifting his grip on Caleb to offer his hand. His fingers were warm and firm as they wrapped around her briefly, and she thought she detected a hint of callouses before he let go. “I appreciate you staying with Caleb. He talks about you all the time. I wish I’d been able to meet you earlier.” He paused to run his fingers through his hair, rearranging the curls so they were slightly less chaotic. “It’s just been a crazy couple weeks since we moved here and getting everything settled with the house and work.”

“It’s no problem.” Behind him, Nicole made a face and Kensi flashed her a warning look. “Just let us know next time if you’re going to be running late or if he needs to take the bus instead.”

“Yeah, no, of course.” He sighed a little heavily. “I swear I’m usually way more on top of things than this.”

As if she hadn’t heard that a hundred times before. She managed to hold back any choice comments on that topic though, aware of Caleb sitting a few feet away.

“Sounds like you have a lot on your plate,” Kensi finally settled on diplomatically. He huffed out a soft laugh, giving a shake of his head as he glanced over to his son.

“You could say that. Who knew that moving to a brand new city, buying your first home, and becoming a single parent would be this hard?” he said jokingly, though Kensi sensed his exhaustion underneath.

“Well, I’m sure it will settle down soon.” She paused and then against her better judgment, and it had nothing at all to do with his slightly overwhelmed and downtrodden appearance, added, “If there’s anything we can do to help you get situated and transition, let me know.”

“I appreciate that, Ms. Blye.” He looked at his watch, muttering something under his breath. “Hey Caleb, it’s time to go home.” Grabbing his now finished picture, Caleb obligingly ran back over.

“Look at the fish I colored for you, Daddy.”

“That is the most amazing clownfish I’ve ever seen,” Mr. Deeks told him enthusiastically as he took the rainbow colored picture. He’d also added in a highly creative drawing of a pirate, who seemed to bear a vague resemblance to his dad.

“Can we stop for ice cream first?”

Nope, I have to make dinner and you really, really need a bath.”

“But I had one yesterday,” he protested, grabbing his dad’s forearm and hanging off it like a monkey.

“Uh-huh, and now you smell again.”

“I do not!” Giggling now, Caleb crawled up his leg, balancing on his thigh. It was the most animated Kensi had ever seen him. She felt some of reserve melting away at the obvious bond between the two.

“Alright, we’ll get out of your hair,” Mr. Deeks told them, nodding to Nicole one more time. “And thank you for taking such good care of this orangutang. I really do appreciate it.” He flashed her a half-smile that was more genuine this time before pushing the door open and guiding Caleb through.

“See you tomorrow!” he shouted as he left.

Kensi watched them go, hearing the faint sound of Caleb debating what type of animal he was.

“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Nicole commented from directly behind her, ,asking Kensi jump.

“Nicole, he’s my student’s father!” Kensi hissed, spinning around.

“Which does not negate his cuteness. And I see you didn’t deny it.”

“Ok, I am not having this conversation with you.” She gathered up the coloring book, crayons, and puzzle with the false hope that Nicole would leave her alone.

“Alright. Just don’t think about those pretty blue eyes or that nice smile tonight while you’re home alone,” Nicole said as Kensi left the office.

***

A/N: I know, this is a ridiculous story. I hope you enjoy it!

I don’t want to make teachers come off as judgmental, but I think we can all agree we’ve gotten annoyed with parents now and then.

[starkerscoop]

Little Touch of Heaven (Ch. 1)

Written for the @starkerfestivals​​ Summer Bingo

Prompt: Love at First Sight

And no, they do not get together in the first chapter. Despite my fluff rep, this fic will have some drama and angst, so buckle in!

Tag List: @snowstark​​ @nerdylocksandthethreebears​​

ao3

Tags: omegaverse, high school au

-

“Did you hear about the new kid?”

Tony’s ears perked up at the excited question, and he spared a glance at the direction it came from. Two girls stood by the blue lockers with animated expressions, and Tony wondered where they got their energy from. It was seven in the morning, damn it. It shouldn’t have been legal to be awake at this time, let alone to chatter loudly in the hallways.

“Yes!” the second girl said in response. “Have you seen him yet? He’s so cute.”

Tony scoffed and continued moving through the hall. He had no time for romance or aimless gossip. He was only attending school so that he could go on to university, escape his parents, and never return to his hometown. There was no need to concern himself with who was or wasn’t conventionally attractive.

The notion of a new student did intrigue him, however. It wasn’t often that teenagers or children moved to what was essentially the middle of nowhere. The most that the town got was retired elders seeking a quiet life.

Tony reached his locker and jerked on it harshly, getting its stubborn door to swing open with practiced ease. He pulled out the textbook he needed for his Physics class and stuffed it into his bag. After zipping it up, he shut his locker and turned, ready to make his reluctant way to his classroom, only to come face to face with James Rhodes, his best friend of twelve years.

“Hey, Tones,” Rhodey greeted. “You ready for Markovitz’s test?”

Tony quirked an eyebrow. “Are you doubting my skills? Please, I could do it in my sleep.”

“That makes one of us,” Rhodey grumbled, annoyance passing over his face. “The least he could’ve done was make the test later on in the week. But no, we have to take it first thing in the morning on a Monday. I haven’t even had coffee yet.”

“You’re good at Physics,” Tony insisted. “Markovitz is just a shit teacher.”

Rhodey gave a helpless shrug. “Nothing we can do about it. We need his class to graduate.”

Tony nodded in agreement and they stepped into the classroom, which was halfway full of students who resembled zombies more than the teenagers they were. Their faces were marred with stress lines and deep eyebags, but that was no shocker. It was their last year of high school, and they were overcome with a need to both work themselves to the bone and give up, letting life take them where it pleased. A great deal of the graduating class wanted to move to the big cities and become more than small-towners following in their parents’ footsteps. It took a lot out of them.

Tony and Rhodey took their seats, which were, unfortunately, on opposite ends of the classroom. That wasn’t much of a problem for Rhodey, who was charismatic and got along with most people he encountered. For Tony, who preferred for people to stay away from him at all times, with the exception of a select few, it was equivalent to the end of the world. But he made do.

It didn’t take long for the rest of the class to file in, and by the time the bell rang, they were all at their desks. Mr. Markovitz cleared his throat, bringing their attention to him.

“We have a test today, so you better hope you studied, because this one’s a tough one.”

He allowed them a brief moment to groan and roll their eyes, and continued:

“But before we start, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Come in and introduce yourself, Peter.” He finished speaking and turned his head to the door, his students mimicking the action with curious eyes.

A boy walked in with his head down, his brown curls flopping over his forehead with each short step he took to the front of the classroom, where he stopped and looked up at them with a grimace. Tony could sympathize. He’d never had the ‘new kid’ experience, but he imagined it wasn’t good.

The boy began to speak. “My name is Peter Parker, I’m from New York, and I want to be a chemical engineer.”

Peter gazed around the classroom, his stare lingering on each student with a curiosity of his own, until it landed on Tony. Their eyes widened as they met, and Tony felt his breath catch in his chest. The tenseness of Peter’s jaw seemed to melt off of him the longer they stared at each other, and Tony’s heart fluttered at that. He’d never calmed anyone at sight before, and he thought that, that was what might’ve been happening at the moment. A smile, small but bright, started to grow on Peter’s face, and Tony found himself blushing.

“Take a seat, Peter,” Mr. Markovitz interrupted, and the eye contact was broken.

Peter shuffled to the only available seat, the one two rows in front of Tony’s, and sat down next to Ned Leeds, an omega who led the only Lego Club in the entire state of Montana.

Mr. Markovitz walked through the rows at a hurried pace, tossing a test face-down in front of every student. He’d handed everyone a test in the span of a minute, eager to begin testing.

“As usual, there’s no multiple-choice in my class. You have forty-five minutes. I’ve set the timer; you may begin your test.” Once he finished speaking, Mr. Markovitz perched on his desk with the timer next to him, and didn’t move an inch for the entirety of the test, watching them all with strong focus.

He’d said more than once that he hated cheaters, and he took enough precautions that no one doubted him. Aside from keeping an eye on them as they tested and making all their questions short-answer, he also gave his students different versions of the test, so they couldn’t ask each other for help.

Tony gripped his pencil tightly, attempting valiantly to forget Peter’s presence for the duration of the test, and read the first question.

You have a mass of 71 kg and are on a 51-degree slope hanging on to a cord with a breaking strength of 165 N.

(a) What must be the coefficient of static friction between you and the surface for you to be saved from the fire?

(b) If the coefficient of static friction is zero, what would the incline angle have to be in order for the cord to not break?

He’d read up on static friction over the summer to prepare for Physics. This was something he knew the answer to. And yet, his mind was drawing a blank.

As the minutes ticked by, heat flickered at the base of his spine and rose up as panic stirred in his gut. He’d never stumbled over himself in a science test like this. What was going on? What was wrong with him?

Despite his alarm, he glanced up from his papers to look at Peter, who was scribbling away on his test. Perhaps Tony had gotten the harder version, and Mr. Markovitz had overestimated the students’ ability to pass Version B. That had to be it.

Tony sifted through the pages, skimming every question to identify ones he could answer, but his search came up fruitless. The questions, though phrased in terms he was familiar with, weren’t bringing any answers to mind, and he released a distraught whimper. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice, all engrossed in their tests.

Forty-five minutes flew by quickly, Tony’s stress making each second spent frantically scanning the test for something he could answer, shorter.

Mr. Markovitz collected each test with the same rushed demeanor he’d handed them out in. He tucked them into a drawer in his desk, locked it, and faced the class with his hands clasped before his stomach.

He announced, “Your tests will be graded by the end of the week. For homework, read the next chapter of the textbook, and be ready to discuss it tomorrow. Class dismissed.”

Everyone stood up, pushing their chairs in and rushing to their friends, no doubt to gush over the test. Tony made his way to Rhodey with an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“That was horrible,” Rhodey sighed, massaging his hand to rid it of the soreness it had acquired during the test. “I bet it wasn’t for you, though, boy-genius.”

Tony shook his head mutely.

“What?” Rhodey placed a concerned hand on his shoulder. “It’s all right, man. Even if you failed, one grade won’t do anything to you.”

Tony didn’t agree. “I need to pass if I want to make it out of here.”

“One bad test won’t tank your grade,” Rhodey asserted. “I promise.”

Tony smiled grimly. “We’ll see what my parents have to say about that.”

[ibijau]

Counterfeit AU pt6 / On AO3

Meng Yao makes himself useful after losing his job, and discovers something unexpected

Names are funny things, Meng Yao thinks as he stares at the sheet of paper in his hand. 

Funny things indeed.

-

After everything that went down in the Hanshi, it's Beastie that saves Meng Yao from himself.

Left to his own devices, he would have either wallowed in misery, or waste time proving to himself that everything that happened wasn't his fault, the way he knows he's done in other lives. But when he comes home after having his past lives thrown into his face and losing a job he loves, Beastie’s mother corners him just as he puts his key into his lock. Her daughter is on school holiday, she explains, and was supposed to be looked after by a friend with children of a similar age. But one of the children came down with something contagious, so the whole plan fell through, and the poor woman now desperately needs help finding someone to look after her daughter.

She’s not asking for Meng Yao to play the babysitter, but he knows so many people, he has so many connections, maybe he could pull a favour somewhere, help her out again.

“I can take care of her for a few days,” Meng Yao offers without thinking. “I’m jobless as of today.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! What happened?”

“My employer died,” Meng Yao replies, which is close enough to the truth. He doesn’t think Nie Huaisang will continue using his Shanzi alias after this, and they’ll never meet again. He might as well be dead. “I don’t plan on looking for a new job right away, so I can babysit for a while, it’s no big deal.”

She tries to insist that he doesn’t need to be doing that, but quickly agrees after some reassurance that Meng Yao doesn’t mind. She looks so relieved she could cry as she says she’ll drop Beastie in the morning. Meng Yao smiles, certain that his mother would be proud of him for doing what’s right.

Having Beastie around is definitely the best choice he could have made. She’s a good kid, but she’s also high energy and needs to be entertained, which means he doesn’t get to think too much about how much he misses Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen. 

They watch movies together, as they’ve always done when he picked her up after school. They go for walks to a nearby park, and once to a museum to look at old armours and swords. He buys Beastie a fake sword, though they agree to keep it at his place, since her mother already despairs that she so strongly favours boy’s toys. In fact, Meng Yao ends up just spoiling that little girl, the way he would have loved someone to do for him when he was her age. He even has Nie Huaisang’s console repaired so she can play on it, instead of selling it as he’d intended.

The video games are a big hit with her. She’s particularly in love with the same game Nie Huaisang spent too many hours on, that weird little terraforming thing which Meng Yao can’t see the appeal of. He liked that it made Nie Huaisang happy. He likes that it also makes Beastie happy, and that she’s very careful not to ruin the work previously put into it, focused instead on maintaining it and planting flowers

“It looks like home,” she explains when Meng Yao asks about that, and lifts the console for him to see.

It doesn’t look like a homely place, he thinks, and more like a military fortress right out of a wuxia drama. But Meng Yao doesn’t get to make that remark, because his phone vibrates, demanding his attention. Beastie, sitting crossed legs on some cushion on the floor, goes back to watering virtual flowers, while Meng Yao checks some news from his bank account. A lump sum has been sent to him, a good deal more than his usual salary, coming from an account registered under a name he doesn’t recognise.

It has been a week since he was fired.

Nie Huaisang kept his promise.

It really is over.

Not that Meng Yao really doubted it. Nie Huaisang has many faults but indecision has never been one, though he’s always been good at pretending otherwise. Once his choice is made he toys with expectations but rarely ever changes his mind.

Rarely, of course, isn’t never. Meng Yao, foolishly, hoped to be one of those few exceptions. 

Those new zeroes on his bank account feel like a divorce, and he never even got a honeymoon. 

That night, Meng Yao allows himself a few hours to wallow in misery, after Beastie went back to her mother. He is only human, and it does feel good to eat take-away in front of a cheesy romance. The film's hero doesn't get the girl, who was dead all along. Meng Yao cries, even though he's seen that movie before. 

By morning, he's in control again, and takes Beastie to the park so she can run around in the sun, and scare pigeons with her sword.

Those holidays are all great fun, until Beastie’s mother reminds them that she has homework to do.

Beastie is a clever kid, there’s no doubt about it, but she doesn’t much like doing her homework, least of all when she feels she could be playing. It takes all of Meng Yao’s negotiation skills to get her to even look at her school books, and he almost resorts to bribery to make her pick up a pencil. But she works hard once she starts, and Meng Yao, wanting to encourage her, sits with her at the kitchen table to update his resume. Beastie will go back to class soon, and inactivity just isn’t in his temper.

When Beastie is done with her work, she gets permission to put on whatever movie she likes while Meng Yao checks what she’s done in case it needs correcting.

But when he picks up the sheet of simple maths she’s expected to give her teacher on monday, all Meng Yao sees is her name.

It’s really funny. He knows her name of course, though he hasn’t heard it in a while. Even her mother took up to calling her Beastie after he nicknamed her that. It just fits her so well, that active little girl who prefers trousers over dresses because they're easier to move in and always wants to play at fighting. She’s a real little monster, and Meng Yao loves her like that. She’s just Beastie.

But according to the homework she’s spent the afternoon on, she’s also Nie Mingjue.

It could just be a coincidence. Names are funny like that, they pop up in unexpected places, they get forgotten and reused. Perhaps in another life, Meng Yao would have just dismissed it as a random incident.

In another life, he wouldn’t have been called Meng Yao.

It’s the first time this happens since that first life they all shared. He’s Meng Yao again, Lan Xichen bears his old name too, and now he’s found a Nie Mingjue, hiding right under his nose. A Nie Mingjue who likes fighting, and claims that her toy sword is actually a sabre, and who always insists a lot on things being fair, even when Meng Yao tries to give her the biggest share of a food she likes.

It can’t be a coincidence.

Meng Yao needs to tell someone.

He needs to tell Nie Huaisang.

He tries, of course, and without surprise his former employer’s number has been terminated. He has the same luck trying to send an email. Nie Huaisang might as well never have existed. Meng Yao feels helpless, torn between tears and laughter. After spending centuries looking for his brother, Nie Huaisang just might have lost his chance due to being so damn dramatic. Serves him right, Meng Yao thinks, still bitter about being discarded so easily, and never getting a chance to see if things might work better in this life.

Bitterness doesn’t last. Meng Yao cares about Nie Huaisang, more than he should if he were a little smarter, and he knows how important finding his brother again would be for him. And if Nie Huaisang can’t be directly contacted, there’s always indirect ways.

It’s not that Meng Yao misses Lan Xichen, he tells himself that night, when Beastie is back with his mother and he starts writing a long text message on his phone. Well, it’s not just that, anyway. He does miss Lan Xichen, sweet and funny and so eager when talking about art. But more importantly, Lan Xichen probably has access to Lan Wangji, who clearly must know how to contact Nie Huaisang. 

Texting Lan Xichen is a strategic choice. 

The way Meng Yao's heart jumps inside his chest when Lan Xichen immediately replies is… it's strategic too. He's just glad that his plan is working. 

How have you been? :)

I could have been worse. I've just realised something and I think it concerns you. I've told you about that kid I babysit, haven't I? 

Little Beastie? Is she okay? D:

She's Nie Mingjue. 

This time, the answer isn't immediate. Meng Yao stares nervously at his phone, wondering if Lan Xichen thinks he's lying, or planning something. Considering their first life, who could blame him? 

But after a few minutes, his phone vibrates again. 

Sorry, I dropped my phone and couldn't get it back from under the couch. Are you sure?? (⊙ˍ⊙)

It all fits. You could come meet her if you want. But it's him, I'm sure. 

Did you tell Nie Huaisang???

I can't contact him. Are you in touch with Lan Wangji? Maybe he can warn him. 

I have his number, I just texted him! I'll keep you updated! It's so wonderful if it's da-ge!! Can I really meet him? ╰(*°▽°*)╯

Her*?

I'll send you my address. If you can come tomorrow, she'll be there.

Are you sure? I don't think da-ge would still want me around. (≧﹏ ≦)

Meng Yao gives that question the consideration it deserves. It's not an unfair worry to have, and he'd be wondering the same if he hadn't known Beastie for so long. 

I literally killed him, and he killed me. If she had to hate anyone it'd be me, but we get along great. We're no longer the same people we used to be. It's the same for her. 

If you're sure, then I'll come! (❁´w`❁)

-

Meng Yao is very sure indeed. 

So Lan Xichen comes. 

It's odd to invite someone to his flat. It's a small place, a bit messy, full of trinkets and DVDs that Meng Yao would never admit to owning, not with the image he wants to create. He's always avoided guests. But having Lan Xichen over is as rewarding as it is terrifying. Lan Xichen brought some charming little cakes, as if he's visiting someone important, and he smiles at the sight of a movie poster on the wall, confessing he watched it so often as a teenager that the tape broke one day. 

"It's my favourite too!" Beastie exclaims. "Meng-ge has it, you know! Can we watch it now?" 

Normally, Meng Yao would point out that it's a little rude to ask that when they have a guest. But he can see that Lan Xichen is nervous and unsure how to act around Nie Mingjue, and maybe a movie will let them all relax. 

In the end, they spend a pleasant afternoon, the three of them. Once Lan Xichen stops worrying that the Nie Mingjue of old will appear and shout at him for getting him killed, he starts chatting with Beastie about her favourite movies, what she's learning in school, what she wants to be when she grows up. She's very happy to answer, and very impressed when he explains he's a teacher, even though she's finding it hard to accept that most of his students are fully adult.

And when Beastie is back with her mother, Lan Xichen lingers for a while, tempted by the offer of Meng Yao's favourite takeaway.

“It’s amazing how much like him she is,” Lan Xichen says as they sit on the sofa to wait for the food to arrive. “It’s the first time he reincarnates, you know. At least, Wangji told me they’d never found any trace of him before.”

Guilt shoots through Meng Yao. It’s his fault if Nie Mingjue’s soul was so fractured it took him this long to be reborn. Or at least, it’s the fault of someone he was, once, which is nearly the same, and yet completely different. Meng Yao has learned from living and dying several times, and he’s lucky enough to live in a kinder world than Jin Guangyao did. It helps.

“She’s also different from him, though,” Lan Xichen continues, moving just a little closer, until they’re almost touching.

“We’ll, for starters she’s a kid,” Meng Yao points out, wondering if he should take the other man’s hand. If this had happened before the Hanshi, he would have, but he’s not sure where they stand now.

“It’s not just that. In that first life, I knew da-ge as a child too and he was…” Lan Xichen sighs and makes a vague hand gesture. “He was a lot. Way too serious sometimes. We all were, I suppose, but him most of all. The Nie tended to grow fast, to compensate for dying young. I’m… I’m glad that he gets to properly be a child this time. That she gets to be a child.”

“The world has changed,” Meng Yao says, finding the courage at last to brush his fingers against Lan Xichen’s. “Things aren’t always easy but they’re… easier, I suppose.”

Lan Xichen’s returns that touch, gentle and careful as always. This, too, is easier now than it was back then. It’s not easy, but there’s less pressure to conform, less demands to be good dutiful sons, and just a little more space to be their own people, to make their own choices.

Maybe in their next life they’ll meet again and it’ll be even easier to be like this. But even now, Meng Yao is ready to take the chances that his past self wouldn’t have dared to dream of. He leans toward Lan Xichen, hoping to kiss him, but a knock on the door interrupts them and he jumps to his feet to go get their food. The delivery man looks at him a little funny, but makes no comment. If Meng Yao is half as red as Lan Xichen, he deserves those odd looks.

Nothing happens again that night. The moment has passed, and after eating, Lan Xichen has to go home because he has engagements the day after that he can’t cancel.

It's not a date that night, no more than any of their previous encounters were. 

It's not a date then, but next time, when Lan Xichen invites him to a restaurant, Meng Yao is informed in no unclear terms that this is, in fact, a date. They go see a movie after, and Meng Yao gets to kiss one of the two most handsome men in the world.

Life is good. 

Life is really good, and yet Meng Yao wants more. 

In spite of their efforts, Lan Xichen and him can't get in touch with Nie Huaisang to inform him that his brother has finally reincarnated. Even Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are getting worried. From what they told Lan Xichen they haven't had any contact with him since the day they picked him up at the Hanshi. 

"They say he's done that before," Lan Xichen tells him. "They think he'll return in a decade or two, maybe a little longer. Time is hard for immortals, they lose track easily." 

That's all very well for them, but Meng Yao doesn't have a few decades to waste, and neither does Nie Mingjue. They're not immortals. One bad illness, a reckless driver, just tripping in the stairs, and it's all over until they reincarnate again, and Meng Yao is done with missed chances. 

If he can't directly get in touch with Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao can make a few discreet calls to former buyers, and advise them to get their purchase asserted again, just in case. He makes sure to only contact people who bought legitimate artworks of course. He wants to make a wave, not get in trouble. If Meng Yao knows Nie Huaisang even half as well as he thinks he does, then even in hiding Nie Huaisang will be checking what’s happening in the world of art collectors, and he’ll hear about some of his buyers suddenly becoming fearful of fakes.

It’s a little mean perhaps, when Nie Huaisang is so proud of his counterfeits, but kindness has never been Meng Yao’s greatest quality.

Besides, it works.

One afternoon, when Meng Yao is alone at home, checking a job offer that he’s probably going to reject because he deserves better, there’s a knock on the door. Meng Yao considers ignoring it, but some of his elderly neighbours have been coming to ask for help with their phones or whatever new fancy blender their kids got them to make life easier. Usually, five minutes of easy work means free homemade food for his next meal, which is always a great deal.

When he opens the door, there’s a very old man waiting in the corridor alright, but free food is probably out of the question.

“Well, I’m here,” Nie Huaisang says. “Whatever is going on, it’d better be important.”

[toxictrannyfreak]

PART 2 OF THE FINLEYS DANGER DAYS OPINIONS SAGA

anyway. after bulletproof heart we’ve got

4) SING

which is another favorite of mine and has a LOT of lyrics,,

“boy you’ve got to see what tomorrow brings/girl you’ve got to be what tomorrow needs” like uh. the historic pattern of victims of oppression having to take action instead of. waiting to see what tomorrow brings.

“you’ve got to make a choice of the music drowns you out and raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth” that speaks for itself

AND THEN

LIKE OKAY,

again with the children and fighting the hopelessness.. and also parallel with song of the century w “generation nothing nothing but a dead scene product of a white dream” vs “my generation is zero I never made it as a working class hero” this song makes me feel things

5) Planetary (GO!)

this one vibes and is kinda more urgent than the others just because it transitions from creepy opening to a more frantic beat later on. it starts with “there might be something outside your window but you’ll just never know”

and then later it says “ladies and gentlemen, truth is now acceptable, fame is now injectable, process the progress” and THEN “this planet’s ours to defend ain’t got no time to pretend don’t fuck around this is our last chance” which hi. I would ask apollo stay away from that one but 😐

and the chorus starts with “who they want you to be / who they wanted to see” which okay goodbye I’m queer and this is fine

and then “they sell presentable young and so ingestible, sterile and collectible, safe and I can’t stand it” STILL WITH THE CHILDREN and I actually have more opinions about this specifically relating to the cancellation of queer children’s media and celebrities like Who Are You Protecting

6) The Only Hope For Me Is You

THIS SONG. I’m normal about it

It opens with a string of faded “remember me”s and then goes “where will you stand when all the lights go out across these city streets / where were you when all of the embers fell? I still remember there covered in ash covered in glass covered in all my friends I still think of the bombs they built” HELLO AMERICA

the only lyric™️ in the chorus really is “and if we can’t find where we belong we’ll have to make it on our own” and this one isn’t about children necessarily but it IS about fighting hopelessness and a world that doesn’t want you so…

and THEN “how would you be, many years after the disasters that we’ve seen? what have we learned other than people burn in purifying flame? I’ll say it’s okay, I know you can tell, and though you can see me smile I still think of the guns they sell” which,,,,,, okay there’s a lot to say about this but moving on

7) Jet-Star and the Kobra Kid/Traffic Report

like the first one, this isn’t musical. it’s another disembodied voice report from nowhere, and it informs you that two people have died and then moves on immediately and says “keep your boots tight keep your gun close and die with your mask on if you’ve got to. here is the traffic” I HAVE THOUGHTS

bestie’s out here dismissing human life and then talks about guns and masks. i am making this face

Yea. That last lyric. Hits a bit right now.

But like the, ‘Truth is now acceptable, fame is now injectable, process the progress’ DAMN that’s good.

[starcloud-nova]

Favorite fics by some of your buddies on Tumblr and Discord?

God nonnie. You fucked up big time. You underestimated just how hard I can appreciate my friends. I’d like to formally apologize for how long and in-depth this got, but I would pick a stopping point and then go ‘oh! but i cant leave out so-and-so’ and then this got mega out of hand.

Organized by author and not genre! And if I didn’t include any of your works (or I did and it was not the one you wanted), please, don’t take it personally. I am trusting everyone who comes across this post to read the tags themselves, but for two of the fics I have left TWs in front of them.

Cassia’s fics:

Internet Enemies by @cassiopeia721 (x)

At school, Midoriya Izuku is ignored at best. At home, he's raised by a single mother who seems to be always taking night shifts, and who he communicates with almost exclusively through notes on lunch boxes and texts lying about his location. As such, Midoriya Izuku turns to the internet— or more specifically, an All Might fan server on discord— for companionship. Like most things in his life, it goes wrong eventually. It just takes longer than usual.

hypnic jump

Izuku finds himself somewhere he doesn't recognize in an oversized green jumpsuit with a hero he's never seen at his back. He's pretty sure he's dreaming, and subsequent events only solidify that theory into rock-solid certainty.

Paradigm Shift (Harry Potter)

Harry undergoes a paradigm shift at the beginning of his fifth year. (Slytherin Harry)

~~~

Kestrel’s fics:

Compass by @autisticmidoriyas (x)

Midoriya Izuku never had the chance to become a hero—or even to grow up. Fifteen years after his death, Akatani Izuku tries to save the life of a dying hero and in return receives a target painted on his back and a power humming in his bones.

All Might, Sir Nighteye, Ground Zero, Suneater, and Skyquake are left scrambling in the wake of Lemillion’s death to figure out who now holds One For All.

Intertwined with all this, the League of Villains’ war against Japan burns on. With the loss of Lemillion, the advantage is now theirs, and with the loss of One For All, victory is all-but-assured.

(What the villains don’t know is that One For All lives on in the blood of a boy who was always meant to be a hero.)

triskelion

A few seconds, and their lives—their life—is changed forever. Where three people used to exist, there is now only one.

While visiting the mall with their class, Izuku, Katsuki, and Shouto are the victims of someone whose quirk can fuse together objects … and people.

Permanently.

Facing down the fact that they may never be unfused, a long adjustment period lies ahead of them as they learn how to be themself and figure out where they fit into their families, their class, and their world.

the meaning of hope

One day, the smoke will reach its end. They hold out hope for that. Even with quirks, fires cannot burn forever. They will consume all their fuel, until there is nothing left, and they will wither and die.

~~~

Lilly’s fics:

Rise of the Rat Finks by Authoress_Lilly

“You're not in trouble Neito. You’ve been tapped to join The Rats.”

The boy blinks. “The what?”

Vlad opens up a folder and hands Monoma a flyer and a small pin in the shape of a rat. “It’s a sort of secret society here at UA.

Or: an excuse to put Monoma and Midoriya together in way too many words 😅

The Root to Villainy

Prompt: Izuku doesn't realize how fucked up his past was until Aizawa does an immersive class on villain origins.

Whoops?

~~~

Dance’s fics:

Never Take Your Problem Children To Costco by DanceInTheKitchen

“SECURE THE EGGS! I REPEAT SECURE THE EGGS!” Bakugou bellowed.

“YES SIR! AYE AYE SIR!” Izuku saluted.

Shouta is staring at his students, one of whom seems to be reenacting the Lion King with a carton of eggs while the other salutes him, and wonders. What the hell did he do in his past life to deserve this?? Past him must have committed some great sin, like putting sugar in his coffee, or being a dog person.

 Or, Aizawa, Bakugou and Midoriya walk into a Costco.

grow as we go

The dorms were silent, but out here in the open air, she felt both isolated and free. Isolated from the world, but free from the responsibility crushing her, isolated from her friends and family, but free from judgement. Up here, with only the stars and Iida as company, Momo felt like she could breathe.

They sat next to each other in silence, watching the stars silently crawl their way across the sky. Iida doesn’t break the silence, but he also doesn’t leave. It’s a silent promise, to listen if she needs it, or to keep her company if she doesn’t want to speak. It’s comforting.

She’s not sure when she speaks, it’s somewhere between staring up at the stars, and looking at the shiny dew covering the grass of the hills behind UA.

“I’m not ready.”

 Or, with graduation right around the corner, Momo has a conversation with Iida about what growing up means.

~~~

Azure’s fics:

A Helping Hand for All by azureskyy

Izuku doesn't know why everyone's talking about a certain hero analyst online. He's tried browsing through the forums and other sites, but he just can't find the person they're talking about.

Maybe he'll ask them later. For now, he has some analysis to do.

Or: Izuku is a well-known hero and quirk analyst across multiple social media platforms.

Not that he's aware of it, of course.

A Missed Chance

Two paths cross then diverge. In another universe, perhaps, they could have walked on the same path; they could have talked for the second time that day, and Izuku could have been given an opportunity that could change his entire life. And maybe, just maybe, he would have taken it.

But this isn’t that universe.

Or: What if All Might wasn't able to find Izuku after the Sludge Villain Incident?

~~~

Alice’s fics:

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by @makeitbluue (x)

“Did you think you’d be safe from me forever? That you could chip away at my power base and I would not care or try to hunt you down?” The man asks as he steps forwards.

Izuku scrambles backwards in his bed, searching the covers as he goes for his phone. If he can get a text off to All Might or Aizawa-sensei he can alert people to the potential danger.

But even as he moves, something in the back of his mind tells him he had heard this voice before. A different time, a different context, but the same voice.

~~~

Ely’s fics:

bend and break by @queenangst (x)

In a world where you can feel your soulmate's pain, Eijirou spends a lot of his life up until meeting his soulmate hurting.

draw and quarter

In District Twelve, no one volunteers.

When Aizawa Shouta’s name is called, no one says a word. He stands there for a moment, feeling all the world slow around him, and then he straightens his shoulders and walks to his death.

He will die fighting. At the very least, Shouta can promise that.

Shouta's name is drawn for the Hunger Games, alongside Shirakumo Oboro. No one from their district has ever won.

damage control

After All for One's defeat, Aizawa Shouta is grasping for ways to protect his students. At the same time, a discrepancy in Midoriya's behavior leads Shouta down a dangerous line of investigation and to a single question: if Midoriya is the U.A. traitor.

Between the Wind and the Water

Staying at U.A. for winter break, Izuku hopes it'll be a quiet chance to spend the holidays with Todoroki and supervising teachers All Might and Aizawa-sensei.

It's just his luck a gift-shopping trip turns into a gift from a villain, and Izuku's new Half-Cold, Half-Hot Quirk is not so easy to control. Neither are the secrets he's been carefully keeping.

a glimpse of tomorrow (looking back)

Subject: Aldera Time Capsule Ceremony Forwarded Message— This year marks ten years for the Aldera Middle School graduating class of 20XX.To celebrate, we would like to invite pro heroes Kingpin and Deku, Aldera alumni, to participate in a public time-capsule opening. We are incredibly proud to have helped them on their journeys to becoming heroes, and would be most honored to receive them as guests and for them to speak at the ceremony. [...]

"Well," Deku says, leaning over to turn the monitor towards him. His eyes flick over the contents of the email one more time. "If they haven't changed, then I guess we could return the favor."

Ten years down the line, Bakugou and Midoriya are invited to a time capsule ceremony at their middle school to read letters from their past selves, and look back on their past and how it shaped their future. For anyone else, it would have been a celebration.

For the two of them, it's an opportunity.

A look into Bakugou and Midoriya's past—through a future neither of them imagined—as pro heroes, agency partners, and friends.

of the mighty heart

It was just complicated. Kacchan had changed. Izuku had changed. What was between them was constant—Kacchan was always there—but even constants, Izuku supposed, could change, too.

...You saved me, sometimes you say Deku and it doesn’t sound so much like an insult, you say it like you mean it, you say it like you mean me.

After the war ends and the dust settles, Izuku is left in pain and feeling useless. There's still so much to do and people to save, and it's just... too much for one person.

And then there's Kacchan.

~~~

Fawn’s fics:

Bough Breaks by @fawnvelveteen (x) (trigger warning for discussion of rape/noncon)

In life, nothing is certain. Pro-heroes aren’t always the good guys. Children are not spared from the darkest realms of humanity. Izuku isn't acting like his normal self at school lately, and his homeroom teacher has taken notice. After learning about the mother’s new, unwelcomed boyfriend, Aizawa’s concern shifts into dread. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep his student away from harm.

Almost Moon (trigger warning for suicide) (Black Clover)

It was always at night. One of Noelle's squadmates, apparently, believes it's a good idea to walk across the rooftop, directly over her head while she is trying to get some sleep. Finally, she decides to confront the nighttime nuisance. What she discovers is something she never expected, nor did she wish to see.

~~~

Nez’s fics:

The True Successor by @neko-nez (x)

Toshinori is caught in a time loop.

~~~

Aodh’s fics:

new game + (the pros of being over-leveled, the catharsis of finally beating That One Boss, and a bonus social link) by @takeyamayuu (x)

Izuku hasn’t been noticed yet, being as far from the fight as he is. Or if he has, they’re dismissing him in favor of the larger threat of Aizawa-sensei. As they should, since he takes out the last one with a well placed kick, turning to face Shigaraki,

Izuku tenses, this is-

This is where his teacher’s arm is injured and then-

The Nomu.

One for All spikes to around fifty percent, his muscles stinging, bones creaking as Izuku darts forward, aiming for Shigaraki’s head with an axe-kick.

Second year Midoriya Izuku gets hit with a Quirk, skids into the USJ, and learns a little about self-care along the way.

~~~

Ghost’s fics:

fingerpaint bruises and a kick in the teeth by @ghoststrawberries (x)

There’s a sour taste in Shouta’s mouth as he stares at Jackrabbit’s bright smile. The smile he’s wearing in every clear photo of him. It somewhat reminds Shouta of All Might’s smile.

Jackrabbit might be a menace to the Commission, but there’s no way Shouta can believe that a man with that smile is anything less than good to his core.

“And I’m your last resort to handle this quietly.” He says knowingly, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“Precisely.”

Shouta’s gut response is to refuse.

The words “I don’t kill.” are halfway up his throat before they become stuck.

As an underground hero, sometimes Shouta Aizawa is called upon to do darker jobs than one might expect a hero to have to do. This time, when he's tasked with taking out a vigilante who's managed to bother the Hero Public Safety Commission one too many times, he's not sure he'll be able to follow through.

~~~

Amira’s fics:

And Now I See Daylight by @awake-my-oceans (x)

AnalysisOverload Current mood: HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON

AnalysisOverload reblogged AnalysisOverload  Okay, let’s talk HeroCon. 

Look around, and you’ll see a lot of discrimination—against people whose Quirk is debilitating, against people whose Quirks scare us, against people who have trouble controlling their Quirk, against people who don’t have a Quirk at all. It’s easy to feel alone in a sea of discrimination.

Enter HeroCon:X.

A social media fic following Deku post-graduation.

The chaotic neutral’s guide to time travel

“You claim you are from the future,” Nedzu said, hopping onto his desk. “Do you have anything to prove this?”

Hitoshi fished around in his pocket. “Here’s my hero license,” he said, holding it up.

Nedzu opened his mouth, but Hitoshi kept right on going, producing a handful of odds and ends from his pocket. “Also a movie ticket, some dryer lint, some, uh, didn’t know I still had that but it’s old gum—“

That was when Aizawa walked in, capture weapon floating around him. “What’s the emergency?” he asked, clipped, as he kicked open the door.

“—and the left arm of a Deku plushie,” Hitoshi finished, unruffled. “My cat ate the rest.”

~~~

Aaaaaand that’s all I got. Thanks for making it to the end!

[santalsaburablog]

The adventures of Santal. Chapter 11. Santal, help out!

Believe in yourself, otherwise no one will believe in you.

A riddle! Santal, who has recently been studying at the Jedi Temple, saw for the first time a real lightsaber duel, as well as the former padawan of Master Yoda, Master Ian Dooku! Wanting to get acquainted, the girl, however, suffers because of the tension that has arisen between her and another youngster named Landa Selmura. Not knowing what to do, Santal decides to seek help from the grandmaster, but after receiving advice, something unexpected happens…

- Santal, just in case, I have nothing to do with it! It's not me! I don't know!

- Hush, calm down, what happened? Santal gently pulled the boy's hands away from her.

But Svante continued to tremble, folding his hands in a cross.

— I do not know how it happened! - the little Rodian continued to talk confusedly.

"You'd better show me," Santal interrupted. She was burning with impatience at what had happened.

- Let's run.

Svante took the girl to his room. It was, as Santal had expected, the same as hers. But there were minor differences. There was a plate with three jogans on it. On the left is a computer. The boy brought the daughter of the Jedi to him.

"I want to say right away that I'm not a computer hacker," Santal admitted.

And then I caught a slight sadness, although the expression of the face was not completely visible.

— Yes, and where did you get this device? - the girl continued. — We, the Younglings, like ... - and stopped. She didn't know if she was speaking correctly or not.

— It shouldn't be so personal. And that's the problem. One of the older ones lent it to me, and I screwed up. Here, " Svante pointed to the screen.

Santal looked carefully and did not understand. There were two tabs on the screen.

— And what's there? Santal asked, holding out her hand to the screen.

- You see, I was looking for information, and then I clicked somewhere. And so…

Santal, without thinking twice, moved her finger along the mouse and clicked on the first tab. The text appeared.

Svante opened his mouth slightly. And then he smiled, wanting to say something, but changed his mind.

- Hurrah! Thanks! And then I was scared, I thought that…

And Santal didn't know what to do. Laugh or swear. She thought something serious had happened. And here... oh, the Power!

The girl closed the second tab.

"Don't push that thing again," she advised. — I don't understand one thing. More precisely, two things. Why did you ask me for help, and not one of the older ones? And what were you shouting at first, I don't remember?

— I was just scared. Especially not my room, but that padawan's. That is... yes, that. Room. Sorry, I didn't say that… He allowed me to use it without leaving his room. And when I clicked, I didn't get my bearings, ran for help, stumbled upon you, and you sometimes sit in the library and know something about it. Probably. That's what I thought, " Svante finally relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. And before that, I was flexing my fingers and getting confused in words. - I think I've said everything.

"Okay, I'm going," Santal said, and after waiting for an approving nod, she ran to her room, feeling great comfort from her clansman.

However, she still had some thoughts left. But she brushed them off like an insect, because there was a more important task. Find Dooku.

The girl did not run fast, feeling as if after what had happened a minute ago, she herself felt a little easier.

But then she suddenly realized that she had forgotten where Dooku's room was with all this fuss. And almost immediately calmed down. Why would she be in a hurry? Anyway, the old master is not going anywhere. She can approach him tomorrow.

And the next day the girl safely forgot about it. And calmly continued to study.

So six months have passed since getting into the Temple. And then, one day, the daughter of the Jedi woke up and realized that she was turning four.

As soon as she jumped out of bed with a wide smile, she immediately collapsed. The girl remembered that she now lives in the Temple. My aunt, who is preparing a cake in the morning, is not around. She will not kiss her again in the morning, will not hug her. My uncle will not circle over my head. No. It won't happen again.

So Santal just got up without haste, got dressed and went out. A little sad. Because no one will congratulate her.

This day was a day off. No classes, so you can relax. Santal calmly wandered through the corridors. Finally, I found a mirror and looked at it, wanting to find out what had changed.

And there were no special changes. The girl has grown up a little, and that's all. In the face, consider, there are zero changes.

— So I became a year older, so I became a year older... - Yunling hummed to herself.

According to tradition, I wondered what my aunt, uncle and that uncle were doing. Do they think about it?

Suddenly, Nick came across her. The Twi'lek, seeing the clansman, made a sign to lekku, meaning a greeting. Santal understood, because before the unexpected departure, her aunt had managed to teach her how to say hello, say goodbye, and other simple things with the help of the movements of tchun and tchin.

So Santal understood the Lekku language and the Twi'lek language a little, but she wanted to go further, to master it perfectly.

- Hi, there.

- Hi, Nick.

- Wow, did you learn the word "hello"? Congratulations! Progress, " the boy laughed.

Santal also laughed, but deep down she was a little offended by the joke. She didn't like it for something. There was something about her.

- Don't be offended. I was just joking, " Nick somehow realized that Santal was unpleasant to hear.

Santal decided that Nick guessed because of her expression or just felt it with the help of the Force.

— Where are you going?

— I want to rest. I'll probably sit in the Hall of a Thousand Fountains. Or where the trees are. I like quiet places.

- All right. I'm going to see a friend. He's making something again — " Nick went on his way.

And Santal is his own. Even though she said where she was going, she was still bored. She even thought, maybe she should have told about her birthday? Or not?

As a result, the girl, after sitting in the Fountain Hall, went to the garden. I sat down under a tree, thinking about everything.

- "Today is my birthday. 4 years old. But for some reason, I'm a little sad. Why? Maybe because this is my first birthday not at home, but at the Jedi Temple. I wonder if the Jedi celebrate their birthdays? I hope so. And it's not interesting to live without such an important holiday. After all, on this day you realize that you have become a year older, more mature. Another year has passed. And if there is no birthday, then the years fly by unnoticed. You don't have time to keep up."

The girl sighed and began to think further.

- "What are others doing now? Yes, I'm thinking about them again. Because there is not much to think about. My aunt probably forgot me by refusing. My uncle, I think, remembers me. And the guy with the hat? I wonder if he thinks about me? Although, on the other hand, why should he even think about me? Well, he lost me. And at first, most likely, he was looking for it. Then, maybe, he waved his hand. And I understand him. I would also give up pointless searches. We are nothing to each other."

Santal sat for a while longer, looked around and went back. She didn't know what to do, so she decided to read something.

However, the girl did not suspect that today she is not the only one who is overcome by anxiety for some unknown reason.

***

Dooku was sitting in his room and meditating. His face was absolutely calm and serene, as befits the face of any Jedi. But it was fake. In fact, the old Jedi was a little worried. He had a premonition that something would happen soon. Fortunately or not, it is unknown. Moreover, the excitement appeared exactly after the demonstrative duel. But Dooku couldn't figure out what exactly was bothering him.

***

Barriss Offee was sitting quietly in the library, her head modestly bent over some text. Although she had not been a youngling for so long, even more than Santal, she already dreamed of the times when she would become a padawan, and then a knight. It is obvious that her teacher is most likely to be mirialanka. This is the tradition. Created in order for the teacher to pass on the experience to the student.

The girl also imagined how she would travel, discover something new, unknown. It will open a previously unexplored planet, a civilization. This is one of the main reasons why she wanted to be a Jedi. She also planned to spend her evenings studying ancient texts. From her point of view, this is a very exciting activity.

Perhaps she will do this together with Santal. And what? She liked this girl with her thirst for knowledge. He likes to read, so there will be something to talk about.

But with a lightsaber, things were bad. The young mirialanka could not even hold a sword properly. But maybe someone will help. Two days ago, she still didn't think, but now it seems to her that a couple of additional lessons still wouldn't hurt. Mara also said that he would like her to be a little more cheerful, smile more often, laugh. Well, Offi tried to behave like that. It's not working out very well.

In the meantime, she will allow you to help with the sword. Here Tutso Mara volunteered.

***

Santal still plucked up the courage and told her fellow clansmen about her birthday. After much thought, I finally decided that there would be no harm to her from disclosing this information.

Almost everyone reacted, as the Jedi daughter expected, with a smile. They started congratulating me.

— Why didn't you tell us?" - Max was "offended".

And Santal didn't answer. She wanted to laugh. And she didn't care that she didn't receive any gifts that day. The main thing is the attention that was given to her. The members of the clan showed that they care about her.

Until the evening, the children had fun, chatted about various things. Santal mostly just listened.

The next morning at breakfast, Santal had an idea. Write letters and make peace with Landa. The second did not work out, because they did not meet in the dining room somehow. Apparently, it so happened that one of them came earlier. Maybe they were separated for a split second or something else.

Well, nothing. She will meet with Landa in the classroom. He will have time. Yes, and she will have time to write letters. Namely, my aunt and uncle. She knows the address. And even if they don't read, it will at least make it easier for her.

And she will also write a letter to that uncle. The only bad thing is that she doesn't know his name and address where he lives. But she will write anyway, and then she will find someone who will pass it on. The main thing is to write.

And now in the evening Santal was coming from class, wanting to retire to her room and start writing. I left the classroom, decided to go to the library, but decided to take a longer path.

Santal still studied the corridors of the Temple and other nearby places at her leisure, even though she had lived in it for quite a long time. Just because she was interested in it. It is interesting to walk in such a peculiar maze. It's always so exciting to go back and forth, right and left and guess where the exit is, where the road will lead you.

So, Santal Sabura was distracted by the windows before entering the library. Or rather, the views that open from them.

Almost all Younglings did not know life outside the Temple until they became padawans. But not Santal. She, by virtue of the circumstances, saw the world, at least a little. I managed to visit other planets. I saw houses, and sand, and the sea, and grass, and trees. That's why she was so attracted to the windows of the Temple, showing life on Coruscant. Cars flying at great speed. Houses, lights.

On this planet, urban "Coruscant" life reigned around the clock. Santal had already taken a bite out of it. And, of course, she wanted more. Last time, she definitely looked at a couple of levels. This is great, but I would like to see the whole city. All levels. From top to bottom.

Having seen enough, Santal still forced herself to tear herself away from the window and continue her way to the library, or at least to her room. She turned her head to the left and stopped dead.

Master Dooku was standing by the window, apparently also admiring the view. Santal was surprised and delighted. Plus, it felt like going to the toilet downstairs. The girl did not believe her luck. She kept putting off meeting this Jedi, and then he met her himself. Unbelievable! There are coincidences!

Santal froze, afraid to move. She knew that such a chance could not be missed, and therefore she did not want to make a mistake terribly. It is very important for her now to think about where to start a conversation. It would be easier if everything depended on her, but no. Her interlocutor will be a man much older than her, and therefore smarter. His questions also determine which way the dialogue will turn.

It seemed to the girl that a lot of time had passed, and she was already beginning to be afraid. She already wanted to take the first step, giving out a banality in the form of a simple greeting. It was too simple, but it couldn't be better, and she felt that there wasn't much time left. Santal didn't care anymore, as long as she didn't keep silent.

"Hello," she said softly, but so that she could hear herself clearly.

The man turned and looked at her. Santal was already at the limit, because the master's gaze was strict and serious. But calm, without malice.

***

Dooku, in search of a source of excitement, decided to air out and take a walk, at the same time observing what was happening outside the Temple windows. At such moments, he always remembered his home planet Serenno. His parents, his sister. They have all been gone for a long time, but Yan Dooku still remembered them.

The man perfectly remembered how his sister gave him a comlink to communicate. He remembered coming to his mother's funeral, where his father yelled at him and even beat him.

All this was already a long time in the past. It's time to forget and move on. That's what Jedi usually do. And Dooku did the same. But still, sometimes I was nostalgic for the past.

After wandering for about half an hour, Dooku decided to make a stop at one of the windows, and after a while he suddenly realized that he might now find the source of excitement. It began to seem to him that there was someone nearby, and this someone was either afraid to take the first step,or waiting for him to start.

After waiting for quite a long time, Dooku got tired of this, and he decided to look at the one who is next to him. I turned my head to the right and saw...

A little human girl. Ordinary appearance. Nothing special. But what really caught my eye was that the girl, although frightened, did not lower her head, but continued to look. Amazing.

***

"Yunling, what are you doing here so late?" The master asked the girl sternly.

Santal was even more scared because she intuitively understood that the further conversation depends on what she will say. My tongue was numb.

- I was ... going to my room. But first I wanted to go to the library, take it to read, - it seemed to Santal as if someone was speaking for her with her mouth. And she was even grateful for it. The necessary words pop up by themselves.

- I see, - Dooku turned around and went to the left side.

And Santal stood confused, not knowing what to do - to rush after her, not knowing what else to say (and she really did not know and did not understand), or to go where she originally intended.

While she was thinking, the master had managed to get far away. Santal wanted to catch up, but thought: what will she say to him at all? Just facts and compliments. This begs the question: and what?

- You fought so hard.... It was so... Great... I heard that you were a student of Yoda himself... Santal suddenly uttered aloud in one breath.

- Thank you, - Dooku heard even at this distance, turned around and walked on.

Santal, feeling a little relieved, quickly ran to the library and went to her room.

And after some time, the Santal clan received a real surprise. When the children entered the classroom, Master Yoda was already waiting for them.

- Max, hand out the swords. They are in the drawer on the left.

Everyone was shocked. They finally began to be trained to wield a lightsaber! And Max asked, worried:

- Are they real?

The other Younglings laughed. Yoda giggled.

- We will study the training ones. So that you don't get hurt, but learn the basics.

We started with the simplest movements. And the first discovery that the daughter of the Jedi made was that only the hilt of the sword has weight. Because of this, there were difficulties when performing exercises. Without feeling the blade, you can turn it in the wrong place and burn it-fortunately, not so much.

Anyway, the first impression is always unforgettable. Santal was sure that even if many years passed, she would still not forget how she first took a lightsaber. Let it be a training one. It's simple.... I can't put it into words. The daughter of the Jedi was sure: instead of choosing the right words, you should just let her hold this beautiful thing, the symbol of the Order, in her hand. Only then will it become clear what sensations are entering the brain at this moment. How an unprecedented feeling spreads through the whole body in different streams.

Another good news for the girl was that Yoda will teach. The one she respected the most. She even came up with a nickname for him - the Wisest.

"You should always rely on your feelings in everything," the grand master said, and Santal tried to absorb every word like a sponge.

Throughout the training, the girl stood up in different poses, then in one position she held a small sword, then in another. And so far it has worked out well. Everyone has.

It is not surprising, because so far, being younglings, children were taught only the First, the easiest, form of combat.

But then, as it should be in such cases, it became more difficult. One day, Yoda announced at the beginning of the lesson that the lessons would change. Now the younglings will learn to perform slightly more complex acrobatic tricks with somersaults, jumps, and so on. Of course, they have done this before, but from now on it will be a little more difficult. Plus, a sword is added. Not just training different stands and swings, standing firmly on your feet - now the type of exercise "sword plus acrobatics" is added. For example, you will need to jump up and make some movement with a training sword.

That's when Santal started having big problems. The old fear returned. She was afraid of tumbling, jumping or anything else before, because she was afraid of falling, of getting a fracture. I didn't want to disfigure myself. I was afraid of damage forever.

Although such serious injuries had never happened to the girl, she still did not want to experience such sensations on herself. That's why I was afraid. Each time losing faith in their own strength.

It is very strange that most of her fellow clansmen did not experience such problems. They calmly did what they said, without fear of consequences. Especially Max. Santal immediately realized: let him go, he will only be engaged in physical training all the time.

But they were also timid, like her. Svante was afraid, but he tried to do it. Justin was careful, but he tried anyway.

One day Santal got tired of all this. I thought, others are not afraid, they do it somehow. And what about her? Like it's worse than the others? As a result, at the next lesson, I was so brave that I tried. Unfortunately, it was unsuccessful.

The girl was hurt - not much, of course, but it was still a shame. Especially when the others laughed softly. Barely able to wait until the end of classes, Santal ran out of the room unnoticed, carefully watching the fellow clansmen and the master. Fortunately, no one stopped her. Although the girl still thought that Yoda knew everything, but decided to keep silent. Probably, everything was already clear, so there is no need to ask. It is written on the forehead, simply put. Moreover, everything was happening in front of everyone.

Fortunately, it was the end of the school day, and the daughter of the Jedi could safely look for a place to cry. But wherever she went, there was either at least someone everywhere, or there was just the certainty that someone would appear later. Santal could not imagine any completely secluded places. And suddenly I remembered. The map! We need to look at it more closely.

After a few minutes, carefully studying every detail, the girl found the perfect place. Ventilation! But how to get into it there? There was a ventilation vent in her room, but to get there, you need to jump high, which Santal was afraid to do, and did not know how.

I had to look elsewhere. Finally, the Jedi daughter found a place where the passage to the ventilation system opens low, so that she could push the hatch back there, climb in and close it again.

At that moment, Santal realized that the desire to cry had decreased a little, but the desire to hide deep inside had not. So it took a long time before the girl got tired. She walked for a very long time through the newly opened new maze. I went through a lot of turns, a couple of times I found abysses with giant fans and ran away in fear, because I was afraid of heights, until I found the perfect dead end, sat down in a corner. There, Santal Sabura finally gave way to tears.

***

"It looks like I'll have to accept it, although I don't want to. I hope Nobi is right, and Santal is fine, studying and all that. He lives in excellent conditions. Oh, why did I say that?! Oh, if only everything could be turned back. I wouldn't be in such a hurry. Maybe I had a chance to convince him to come back, and I missed it. Although our niece has never lived on her own before, Nobi believes that she adapts quickly. And we will think about her all the time while she is studying.

But I'm sure she'll forget about us. We took care of her, and she will forget. And when Santal grows up, she will suddenly remember, most likely, and will come to our common grave. Because by this time we will die of loneliness and not being needed by anyone. How are we going to live now? For what? How are we without you-eh?"

Elina Sabura gave way to tears, and then went to prepare the table. That evening, for the umpteenth time, the table was set rather sparsely. Just two plates and two glasses. The wonderful niece of Elina and Nobi did not have lunch with them anymore.

***

Shrinking into a ball and being very upset not only because of today, but also because she was in such a situation because of that kidnapper, Santal did not immediately notice the presence of another Jedi.

- Hi there. What happened? Why are you crying?

The daughter of the Jedi really did not want to show a tear-stained face, because she did not even move her ear. However, the young guy, as she understood from his voice, had his own opinion on this matter. Suddenly, the girl felt a hand on her shoulder. It was impossible not to turn around here.

Santal turned around. Very close to her, to her right, sat a really young guy with brown hair and gray-blue eyes. The look is very attentive and sympathetic. In other words, he is filled with a desire to take part in someone else's trouble.

- What's your name? the girl asked, sobbing.

"I'm a trainee padawan. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

[forever--darling]

mine - s.m.

ceo au

a/n: I suggest listening to I put a spell on you by annie lennox while reading this

warnings: 8.3k words of slight curse words, innuendos, and ceo shawn mendes

Ding

Surrounded in the sweet smell of pastries and bread, you had been so caught up in the comfort that the building provided while your nose was stuck in a textbook, you had failed to notice that you were still in the middle of a shift. Your eyes were tracing over the same line over and over as a small feeling filled your gut like you were missing something, but you tried to write it off and continue studying. You had a huge test the next day that was worth a large percent of your grade and you couldn’t afford to fail it, so any distractions had to be rid from your mind. And, they had but it wasn’t until the loud beep went off again that it alerted the attention of the man stood at the front counter who had been ringing up another customer. 

The older man poked his head into the doorway to see you bent over the counter, eyes trained onto the thick book and zero perception of where you were. He sighed before beginning to yell your name over and over into the back room. Seconds later, your head tore away from the book, startled and brought back to the fact that you were still at work. 

Pushing yourself away from the counter and away from the textbook, you grabbed two oven mitts. “Oh, shit!” 

You opened the door to see the smoke rising from the baked treats and quickly reached for them hoping that you hadn’t burnt the last batch of the day. Slipping the hot pan onto the wood counter, you slipped the oven mitts from your hands as your eyes fell back to the still open textbook. Your neck was twisted to the side in a desperate attempt to analyze the words and have them stick into your brain. 

“Y/N,” he called again, taking your attention away from your studies for the second time. 

“Right,” you replied, slamming the book closed, making sure to mark your page before you continued to prepare the muffins for their basket. You sighed with relief that not one of them appeared to be burnt black.

Minutes later, you appeared from the back room and approached the front counter with a brown wicker basket sat neatly into your palms. Covered in a clear plastic bag tied at the top with a pink ribbon to ensure that the muffins stayed in the basket when delivered, you slid the basket onto the counter next to the other one. It appeared to be the same despite the different flavored muffins and the grey ribbon tied tightly at the top in comparison of a pink. 

You sighed in a way to prepare yourself to face your boss, “Here you go, Oscar. The last batch of the day, all made and ready to go.” 

Oscar, your boss and owner of the building, nodded sparing a glance towards the basket as he continued to jot down words on a notepad with a black pen. “Not burnt?” he asked raising an eyebrow his words soft but serious. 

“Not burnt,” you replied, hands running along the plastic wrap before falling onto the ends of the ribbon tightening them. “Luckily. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright, hasn’t been the first time.”

“And probably won’t be the last,” you admitted teasingly. 

Oscar nodded knowingly as laughter bubbled from the back of his throat, “Probably not but it’s okay, you’re a college kid. I knew what I was getting into when I hired you. So what class is it this time?” 

You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest as you leaned back against the counter, body facing the back wall at the chalkboard menu you had written on with new pastries that morning. “Physics, which I don’t even know why I’m taking in the first place. Anyways, I have this huge test tomorrow and it’s a large part of my grade. I’m struggling enough as it is so I can’t fail.” 

“I see,” Oscar responded, already able to feel the stress seeping out of you, “And have you figured out what you want to major in yet?” 

“Nope,” you replied popping the “p” as you began to rock back and forth on the balls of your feet, “Not a clue.” 

He smiled, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out, and if you never do and college doesn’t seem like the place for you, there will always be a place for you here.” 

“Thank you, Oscar. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” you said sending the older man a warm smile. 

“Anytime, kid,” he mumbled, returning your smile with a wink.

Oscar Wheeler had been the owner of Sensationally Muffin for almost three years now and had opened the bakery after leaving his former job as a salesman. At rolling in at the height of around six foot, Oscar Wheeler was a broad shouldered man that had a strong large build at the age of forty-five. He had umber colored skin, with warm yellow and copper undertones, that wrinkled at the corners of his mouth and around his eyes. Grey hair rounded the edges of his head, standing out against his black buzzed head while also being shown present around his facial hair that ran along his chin and upper lip. 

Besides his handsome middle aged features, Oscar was a sweet man that would spread kindness wherever he went and found a comfort in the bakery business. He loved the happiness that was brought from making the baked goods and found solitude in his small quaint little shop that bursted with warmth. From his presence, he provided a kind of compassion that no one could fake and because he was so nice and talked to anyone that walked through those doors, the small bakery became a place of support and love for many people. 

Oscar had built the life he had always hoped for in the last three years and it always warms your heart at the business he had created.  As a previous salesman before, all he had ever done was work. Day after day, chained to that desk, losing the feeling of what it felt like to actually be living. One day it had gotten to be too much and he quit on the spot, invested his savings into a dusty old building sat on the corner of first avenue. 

He built this place out of nothing all by himself and because he had always been working he wasn’t married and he had no kids. He didn’t have a family like many men did his age and instead created his own family, here. He had formed friendships here and as corny as it sounded, you had found your own little family within these four walls. 

Even though the bakery had been up and running for three years there were still not many workers that had settled here. Oscar was a man who relied on honesty and selflessness. He was picky when it came to who he hired. He had rejected many college students the moment they walked in through the doors begging for a job, and it came to quite a shock when he finally had hired you. It was over a year ago when you had just gotten done with what ended up being one of the worst classes you had ever had and along with that had been stood up on a date. 

It was snowing and the wind was blazing and you couldn’t bare the idea of moping all the way back to your apartment to only get pitied for the rest of the night by your roommate. Instead, you wandered the streets, which seemed almost empty due to the storm, trying to busy yourself until the time seemed acceptable to return home. 

However, it became difficult to stay out in the cold any longer when the wind picked up and you stumbled into the first warmest building you could see. If only you knew that when you walked into the bakery that day, snow falling from your clothes, that it would be the start of meeting some of the best people of your life. From then it was the easiest decision Oscar had made, from seeing how you longed to get warmth from the small fireplace and offered to help with anything. So when the time had came that you finally asked if there were any jobs in the small building, you had instantly grown to love, he had said yes without even giving you an interview. 

That was how the little Sensationally Muffin family started and despite the sadness that took up the man of never getting married or having children, it was quickly replaced by the happiness of your presence and the bakery’s presence. Because at the end of the day, you were his daughter whether from blood or not. 

“So, are you still okay to deliver these tonight or do you have to get home,” you were brought out of your thoughts by the man of the hour himself who was reorganizing some of the pastries in the box placed near the counter. 

“Only two stops?” you asked, looking towards the two baskets on the counter. 

“Yes, two stops,” Oscar confirmed adjusting a piece of coffee cake before sliding the small plastic door shut. 

“Then yeah I can. Suppose I can take a break of studying for a little while, which I’m guessing since this basket is all blueberry muffins and it’s a Thursday that we have yet to deliver Mrs. Crenshaw's basket of muffins,” you stated, eyes looking towards the pink bowed basket that was filled to the brim of just blueberry muffins. 

“You’d be right.”

“Of course, I know how much Mrs. Crenshaw loves her blueberry muffins,” you laughed.

Oscar smiled as he moved the two baskets towards the other end of the counter so you could just grab them on your way out, “She does. Anyways, I got a call from Roxy one of the head nurses of the nursing home. She said that they’ll be at the park again like they are usually on Thursdays. She says today they got some college kid to sing to them with his guitar so they’re just hanging there until six, when they’ll have to get everyone back.” 

“That’s nice, I’ll head there first. Won’t want to miss them,” you replied, untying your blue apron from around your waist and folding it up in your hands, “So where’s the other delivery supposed to go?” 

“Uh, it’s a large company building near the center of the city. I attached the address to the basket so you know where to find it and put the man’s name so you don’t get lost once you’re in there.”

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion at his words as your fingers knotted into the apron in your hand, “A company building that’s different. We don’t usually get orders from places like that.” 

The older man nodded but couldn’t help the small smile on his lips, “Yes, but I have to say I’m not complaining. Business is business and I will take as much of it as I can get.” 

Your expression softened and chuckled knowing he was right. Walking into the back room, you placed your apron down on one of the bottom shelves and began to place all of your notebooks and your textbook back into your backpack. Still curious of the journey you were about to take, you continued the conversation to see if Oscar knew anything else. “So, with this company building do you know anything about them or about who made the order?” 

“Uh, yeah. I believe it was some assistant or someone like that. Ms. Bloom, I think it was. She was calling about placing an order of muffins for her boss. Heard from a friend that we have the very best. Said that her boss has a thing for muffins and would probably like the small surprise from all of the meetings he has been having the last couple days non stop,” he said now starting to tidy up the counter. 

“Hmm busy man,” you commented pulling the backpack over your shoulders before you clock out of your shift, “Is it a big company?” 

He nodded, turning his attention away from the front counter towards you as you approached the basket of muffins, “Yes, very. Like muli-million very, I think, but you shouldn’t have to worry about that. You have enough on your plate as it is.”

“Funny,” you thought out loud as your fingers began to trace around the white card that was pinned to the basket, the words hidden on the other side, “A multi-million company is buying a fourteen dollar basket of muffins. You would think they would at least buy some that are sprinkled with bits of gold, but hey lucky us. Business is business.” 

Oscar chuckled at the way you quoted him and couldn’t help but to walk over and pull you into a side hug, “That’s right, so I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Definitely.”

“Okay, be safe. Text me if you need anything and good luck on your test,” he said, hand placed comfortingly on your shoulder. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled out, grabbing both baskets and turning to walk towards the front door sparing a small wave over your shoulder, “Bye!” 

He waved back a smile pulled across his face, causing his eyes to wrinkle like they tended to always do. Squeezing past the glass door, you ended up on the sidewalk that wasn’t as busy as it had been previously in the day since most people had made it at home by this time on a weekday. You smiled at the feeling of wind dancing across your skin and the sight of the sun starting to fall from the sky as you moved towards the side of the bakery to locate your transportation and one of the things you loved the most in this city. Your bike. Hating how crowded the streets would get for driving, you would rely on your beautiful bike to get you from one place to another whether it’s to deliver muffins, or get you across campus as fast as possible. Gosh, you really loved that bike. 

It was a light blue Schwinn bicycle that had a white seat and a metal basket hanging in the front off of the handlebars housing a place to hold the muffins. Unlocking the bike from the bike ramp, you placed both orders of muffins into the hanging basket and swung your leg over the seat. Situating yourself onto the bike, you set out to your destination, one of two until you were able to go home and crawl into the bed of your apartment.

-

By the time you had managed to drop off the basket of muffins in the park for Mrs. Crenshaw and get out of the park, it had taken you almost a half an hour. You didn’t think that when you got there that Mrs. Crenshaw would insist that you stay and continue to argue over it for the next fifteen minutes. Even when you had mentioned that you had another stop to make she would just interrupt you by talking about how great the music was this college boy was singing, or go on about how cute he was as if that would make you stay and visit with them awhile. You thought it was sweet that she wanted to talk to you and you felt a little guilty about leaving in a rush, but knew that you could just visit another day. 

Another day when you didn’t have to go deal with multi-million company people and have to study for a huge Physics test. When you somehow had managed to slip away from Mrs. Crenshaw because she was stuffing her face with muffins and dancing to the music, you quickly grabbed your money from Roxy, the head nurse that Oscar said made the call, and hot tailed it out of the park before any of the other elders could pull you into a conversation. 

You were walking your bike down a sidewalk that went out of the park, waiting to get out towards the street to hop back on and get going. Knowing that the road was approaching, you stopped your bike for a second to take a glance at the address written on the card of the basket. Reaching over and into the bike basket you flipped the card over and read over what it said. 

Mr. Mendes

Mendes Corporations 

982 Edgefield Drive 

Toronto, CA R1A K3G

The bike ride from the park to the company building took exactly seven minutes give or take and luckily it was a place you couldn’t get lost finding. From a few blocks away, you were able to spot it and it’s crystal glass walls. By the time you had actually arrived outside of the building, your jaw had hit the floor. When Oscar had said company with an office building, you never expected this. Even when, he said “multi-million” you wrote it off thinking that he was just kidding. Yeah, you thought “oh it will just be a small brick company building that was two or three stories high” - yeah no. This was not the case.

This company had to have been large and very much a multi-million maybe even billion. The building was tall coming up to maybe being the height of a small skyscraper that went up multiple stories, made out of clear glass, accented with silver steel to add detail to the building. With windows surrounding the whole building, it no doubt had a lot of light pour in during the day. Or maybe the windows reflected the harsh light to hit back at the streets, considering you couldn’t see within the building through the windows. Either way you couldn’t know until you actually stepped in. The front was fitted with two sets of doors on either side of a silver large revolving door and above the door were the words Mendes Co. splayed across in thick black letters that no doubt lit up at night. 

To accompany the doors there were two doormen dressed in black fitted suits and white earpieces on, standing on either side of the regular doors. They looked more like bodyguards and could be for all you knew, but with them opening the sets of doors they stood by, it gave you the impression they were just very well dressed doormen. As you looked up at the building, it seemed to go up forever before being cut flat by the open styled roof, that no doubt probably had access to it from a door and stairs. 

Surprisingly with a place that looked so high class and well done, there was a metal bike rack sat near the road. Even that seemed to be better than the other streets you found bike racks at. It was clean and reflected off the lights of the city, not one speck of dust or rust. You somehow found yourself standing outside, looking around to see if the people walking near the building were better dressed and looked ready for a business meeting, but they all appeared like you. Casually dressed and not paying attention to the gorgeous building, they were passing as if it were a normal thing. 

Noticing that the sun was setting more and more behind the city the longer you stood there gaping at the business building, you quickly tore your gaze from it to lock your bike against the bike rack. When secured and sure that it wasn’t going anywhere, you took the basket of muffins in your hand and made your way towards the revolving door. Both doorman/ bodyguards looked you up and down as you reached the door and no doubt if you hadn’t been holding that basket of muffins they probably wouldn’t have let you walk in just by the way you dressed. 

As soon as you laid eyes on the bustling building from the inside, you knew they definitely wouldn’t have let you in. The inside was the nicest place you had ever seen. The walls from the ceiling to the floor were white and smooth showing a faint reflection as you walked by it. Anything else was silver or black causing the whole room to appear sleek and smooth leaving you with the question of what the hell this company really did and was. And if that wasn’t it, the lobby was filled with people fitted like they were made of money. 

From the tight suits that clung to each man to the women that dressed in short pencil skirts or dresses paired with a blazer, their hair all pulled up out of their face and showing their beautiful soft features. Plus, every women had a pair of heels at least six inches tall on the bottom of their feet making them look even more business sexy and tall. Like extremely tall. You weren’t exactly a very short person but next to all these women, they made you look like the size of a twelve year old next to a bunch of NBA basketball players. In that moment you had never felt so out of place before with your ripped skinny jeans and sneakers. 

Your hair was messily pulled into a ponytail with pieces framing your face and along with the jacket and backpack you had on, a grey long sleeve shirt that hugged your chest tightly. Your face barely had any makeup thinking that for work all you needed was some mascara but now you wished you had put on some lip gloss or something because compared to all the other women who supported a lipstick your lips just looked dry and cracked. You knew you didn’t belong in that building and so did everyone else. They all followed you with their gaze and probably felt relieved that there was a basket of muffins in your hand meaning you weren’t actually here for something important. It was funny that the basket provided you with protection from the well dressed vultures and you knew that it would be a whole different story when you had to leave basketless.   

Tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, you moved your way through the lobby towards the front silver desk that appeared to be just as smooth as the walls. A woman sat behind the desk her blonde hair pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head with a tight black skirt and white blouse with the top buttons undone. She looked up from the computer but instead of giving you a harsh glare like everyone else, she offered a soft smile not enough to show her teeth but enough for it to be a smile. 

You took a deep breath never feeling this nervous to deliver a basket of muffins before. Raising the basket, you gestured to it as you explained why someone like you would be in a place like this, “Uh, I have a delivery for a Ms. Bloom which is really-- uh, for a Mr. Mendes.” 

As your words came out stuttered and fast, you mentally groaned at making yourself look like an actual idiot. Now you made yourself look even more out of place if that could even be possible. At embarrassing yourself in front of a woman who was basically a model, you could feel the heat rush up past your neck settling onto your face. You tugged at your jacket mercilessly, worrying that you might actually be escorted out of the building, but a sigh of relief flew past your mouth at the small chuckle made from the model worthy receptionist. “Yes, Mr. Mendes’ office is on the twelfth floor and as soon as you walk out of the elevator there should be a large desk where Ms. Bloom sits.” 

“Alright, thank you,” you replied, raking your fingers through your hair anxiously before making your way towards where the woman was pointing that held the elevators. As you rounded the corner towards the elevators you found people bustling in and out not caring about bumping into you along the way. 

There were a total of six elevators all with large silver doors and blue buttons off to the side. You had managed to slip past a sea of people that were just leaving elevator two and enter into elevator four which only held a couple older men dressed in black suits and a small group of women who were whispering to each other in the corner while sneaking you glances. They were tall like every other woman in this place and dressed in tight business clothes as usual. You were lucky to get an elevator that wasn’t full of people because that might not have set too well with you if you had. 

The elevator itself was lit with white and had lights showering down from the top as the walls were cut into squares all around, bouncing your reflection back at you. Again the nicest elevator you had ever been on and wished more than anything that yours back at your apartment building looked as good as this.

“Floor?” one of the men asked who had white slicked back hair and was carrying a brown briefcase. He didn’t spare much of a glance to you which you felt relieved to not have to face his judging eyes, when you could already feel a hole being burned in the back of your head from the women. 

“Uh, twelve,” you mumbled, hearing the whispers stop behind you for a few seconds before starting up again. 

You weren’t even surprised probably anybody and everybody in this building knew that the twelve floor belonged to the owner of this whole corporation. Which meant that if the lobby were as dressed as they were, walking out of this elevator and onto that floor probably looked liked visiting royalty, and you were not one to walk through the doors and be among royalty. Because of the women behind you, you couldn’t help but dig your fingers into your side while trying to take smooth sturdy breaths but it became too much when you heard one of them say something about how you looked. 

It was muffled and you couldn’t hear much of what she said but it was enough to know it was about you. It caused your stomach to sink further than it already had for being required to be in this building, so it made you a little less fidgety when you reached back and pulled your hair loose from the ponytail letting it fall. Your shiny unbrushed waves laid across your shoulders and you smoothed them down at the top, hoping that it looked a little more put together than it had in the ponytail. 

Luckily, the twelfth floor was the lowest floor selected so you were able to be the first one off the elevator. When the awful ride finally came to a stop at your floor, you spared the men a small smile. “Have a nice day,” you said before walking out of the elevator.

The doors closed behind you and instead of walking forward towards the desk, sat a few feet down the hallway tucked up against a wall, you stood still. Clutching the basket to your chest, you gaze across the most important floor of the whole entire building. As expected, its lined with white from Ms. Bloom’s desk to the chairs that sit tucked into the few other smaller desks sat abandoned in the hallway to the walls. Also, right above Ms. Bloom’s desk was Mendes Co. in the same way it was on the front of the building. Block letters in dark black, concluding that this was in fact his floor. It was modern and sleek and made you wonder to no end about who this man was. Mr. Mendes.

He must have held so much power, in whatever the hell he did, to build a building so large and so high class. You had no doubt that he had a lot of money and from how expensive everything was and set out to be there was no doubt in your mind that Mr. Mendes had to have been older. He had to have built this company up over courses of years to get it to where it is now. It didn’t make much sense to you though that if this company seemed to have so much money and was so well known why you had never heard of it until now. It made you think that if had been around a while that you would have heard about it at least once or twice. Maybe you hadn’t heard of it because you were just some college kid that had her head stuck in a pile of books. 

Within the nice floor, you could hear the faint sound of voices, phones ringing, and the sound of heels clicking against the floor, along with music that had to have been John Mayer but you couldn’t be sure. It smelled faintly of rosewood and spices mixed with some kind of cologne which instantly sent your mind in a frenzy at how good it smelt passing through your nose. It made your body sway and your head swell from how much you were beginning to like it, and knew that all the women that worked here most swoon in the presence of the masculine smell. They probably had fallen to their knees, once or twice, for their boss if Mr. Mendes smelled anything like his floor. 

You were brought out of your thoughts at the sound of a high pitched voice that appeared very annoyed, “No, Mr. Mendes is in a meeting I told you that a half an hour ago and he will still be in a meeting a half an hour from now. I will let him know that you called like I said I would before.” 

You looked to find the voice coming from where the large white desk was set against the wall, being no doubt Ms. Bloom. Approaching her and the desk, you watched as she yelled something into the phone before slamming it down back onto the desk, hanging up the call all together. She sat down in the grey plush chair at the desk and began to fiddle with the computer as if she hadn’t noticed you. You took that small moment to analyze her from head to toe and wasn’t surprised at all with what you were seeing. It was as if there was a pattern for the women that worked in this office or even set foot on its expensive tiled floors. 

She had tan skin that looked like she had just come back from vacation and sleek caramel hair braided back into a low bun with not a single piece of hair out of place. She had piercing blue eyes that matched the colors of the ocean and stood out even more against her dark eyeshadow and winged liner. She had a small button nose that was contoured to perfection and plush pink lips that looked glossy in the light. She was dressed in a tight black dress that fell to right above her knees, showcasing her long freshly shaved legs, and it was so tight against her body that she couldn’t have been wearing a bra or any underwear. It was clear that if it was that tight and she still decided to wear it to work that it probably didn’t bother her. 

And, from the way she ordered the basket of muffins to surprise her boss, dress skin tight with a face full of makeup, and be so defensive on the phone about him it was not hard to realize she had something for Mr. Mendes or maybe with him. You weren’t entirely sure but it wouldn’t be a surprise that with what money he appeared to have he could afford to sleep with his assistant and hire every beautiful person that walked along Toronto. As you thought about it all, you made sure to make a mental note to ask your roommate later that evening about the corporation because with everything you had discovered in the last ten minutes you had never been so curious in your whole entire life.

“Yes?” her high pitched voice snapped from behind the desk, not bothering to look up.

“Oh, uh I have the basket of muffins you ordered from Sensationally Muffin,” you whispered softly, slightly worried she would bite your head off if you said something wrong. 

Instead, though at your words, her eyes lit up and a small smile feel on her face but that all slightly faltered as she looked up and locked gazes onto you. She frowned as she looked you up and down before letting out a distasteful noise that sounded much like an ew. She covered it up though with a small cough and turned her eyes to the basket in your hand. It was a mixed batch between one's like chocolate chip and blueberry to apple cinnamon and pumpkin. In fact the basket had almost every flavor except lemon which was requested to not be added. 

You even added in your favorite muffin creation; a triple chocolate craze muffin that was filled with chocolate syrup. Of course it was delicious and drool worthy but something you could only have one of. They weren’t ordered very often and because the basket required almost every muffin you had on the menu, you thought you would sneak it in because it really was made for the high class. Now that you are standing with the basket in your hands, you’re happy that you added it, or maybe you weren’t because this man seemed to have everything except for your muffin. Which thanks to you, the triple chocolate craze will bless his taste buds though he has probably tasted the grandest of things compared to a chocolate muffin. 

You felt the basket get tugged from your hands and set down onto the desk. It was funny, how much that delicious basket of muffins blended in with the rest of the building because of that stupid grey ribbon. No one would even be able to tell that it was fourteen dollars and came from a cheap bakery a few blocks away. It was sad that something so delicious would have to be given to a man that seemed to be screwing his assistant, but like Oscar always says business is business. 

“How much do I owe you, for the muffins?” she asked picking out a black leather wallet from within a desk drawer.

“Uh-” 

“Wait,” she holds her hand up cutting you off and at first you have no idea why. Then you realize that she has stopped you because of the voices that are coming from down a hall near the elevator that you somehow had missed when you exited and looked around the floor. They were getting closer and one obviously stood out towards Ms. Bloom when she quickly grabbed the basket of muffins from the desk and gave you a pointed look. “I’ll be right back.” 

She turned away from you and fast walked, almost a jog, away from the desk in the opposite direction of where the voices were coming from. Her heels clicked against the floor as she went in a fast set of twos as she made it down the hallway towards a pair of double doors that went all the way up to the ceiling. 

They were made of wood and stained dark almost to the color of black and had rusty red undertones that were seeping past the dark hue. The handles were silver rods that hung off the door and went up past the height of Ms. Bloom even in her heels. Probably stainless steel from the way they looked. She tore open one of the doors and slipped in, disappearing behind it with the basket of muffins in her hands.  

You stood and took a deep breath, running your fingers through your loose hair tugging at the ends. Closing your eyes with the exhaustion kicking in, you could now hear the multiple pairs of footsteps echoing within the floor and the voices becoming more clear. As they seemed to be just around the corner, you could now identify that it was definitely a group of men. All low and deep, shouting multiple things at once, clearly arguing. However, there was one that stuck out like a sore thumbs amidst the others. It was higher and soft to the ears. 

He seemed to be the one centered in the attention because though the rest of voices were jumbled together you were able to hear his words clear, “Enough, enough. I answered everything in the meeting, now stop because I have other things to attend to.” 

Though his voice was demanding and sent a shiver down your spine it did not ward off the other men and only made them yell louder down the hallway as they rounded the corner. Hearing the muffled shouts burst from no longer being a wall away, you turned in the direction of the voices, that sounded clearer then they had before, faces being matched towards the rowdy sounds. Sure enough, walking in your direction was a group of what appeared to be six middle aged men dressed in suits and surrounding the very person that caused their shouting. They trailed behind him and as they only got closer to where you stood it was not hard to spot the man out who stuck out among them. He was tall. Taller than the rest of them which proved to be the first thing that made him stick out. 

The next thing was his age. You easily noticed that he was half of their age at most and very handsome. Possibly the most beautiful man you had laid eyes on and that said a lot, since every young male worker in this building could make your knees weak, but him god he was something else entirely. He had dark curls sat at the top of his head that looked all messy and hadn’t been styled which only made him look more gorgeous. Which seemed impossible since he had a sharp jawline, pretty brown eyes, and pink pillowy lips. He also obviously was fit, you could tell from the way the dark blue suit hugged his long body. It made you wonder what someone like him was doing in a place like this instead of on a billboard somewhere but when the rest of the building was also good looking it kind of wasn’t a surprise that he was here either.

“Gentlemen,” he announced, revealing his soft silk like voice, making it evident that he was the one that had stuck out among their constant rambling down the hallway, “The meeting is over, I appreciate your time but this shit’s done.” 

He continues to walk down the hallway towards you and the men still refuse to give up despite how cold it sounded. He tries to ignore them, looking elsewhere than the six men around him. In doing so his brown eyes fall onto you, stood abandoned at his assistant's desk with flushed cheeks, looking so out of place. At first you thought he would glare at you or laugh at the sight of you in a place like this. Which wouldn’t have been all bad if his laugh ended up to be just as beautiful as he appeared to be, but instead he cocks his head to the side looks you up and down with a curious glint in his eyes. 

You shuddered under his gaze and can feel your cheeks become even more red from his intense stare. He refused to look away from you and as he looked you up and down once more, he began to lick at his lips. You didn’t know at all what it meant the way he was looking at you or why, when there were plenty of more attractive women to drool over, but felt slightly appreciative of it anyway because he was very hot. However, that turned from just a hot man in a suit staring at you into something much more real fast. 

“Mr. Mendes!” 

His eyes broke away for a second at the sound of his name and your blood had ran cold. Your eyes widened at the name and soon realized that this tall man with curls who stood in the middle of the men was the man of this company. He was younger than you had ever expected and now it didn’t appear such a surprise that all the women dressed the way they did especially Ms. Bloom. Any woman would want a man like that who owned what he had. In fact, I’m sure many women did. That’s why you were as shocked as you were to see his eyes on you. 

He noticed your expression as soon as he moved his eyes away from one of the men back to you and realized at the mention of his name that you were startled. You looked like a deer in headlights, innocent and doe eyed. It made his stomach burn at the thought of being with someone like you. A woman pure and not invested in a world of money. It turned him on in a way it never had before, and though you were a complete stranger, if the hall were empty he would have you bent over that desk within seconds, right under his company’s name. 

You broke away from his gaze at the sound of Ms. Bloom returning back to the desk and you had never been so relieved to hear the sound of her heels clicking against the floor. You noticed the way she spared a glance over your shoulder towards “Mr. Mendes” her boss before looking back towards you smugly. “How much?” 

“Uh, um…” 

“Excuse me,” she snapped, “Are you def, how much?” 

“Fourteen dollars,” you replied swallowing the lump in your throat. 

She picked through her wallet and handed you a twenty before shoving the wallet back into the desk. “You can keep the change save up to buy something that isn’t…  well that,” she sneered gesturing to you up and down. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled softly too focused on the gaze still locked on the back of you to even defend yourself against the snippy comment from the assistant. 

Not sparing another second, you turn on your heels and head straight for the elevator. Walking by his tall figure and the other men, you can feel his eyes follow you all the way to end of the elevator. Even when you enter into the small moving box, when you look back out towards the floor you can see his brown eyes disappearing behind the silver doors as they come to a close, leaving you alone and in complete relief to be on your way out of here. As you ride down in the elevator back to the lobby, he on the other hand clears his throat and fixes his black tie before scurrying away to his office behind the large dark wooden doors. 

When he is safely behind them, the men no longer are able to bother him and eventually disperse given up. Shoving his hands into his front pockets, he walks across his office, hands tracing along his desk, stopping at the basket of muffins on his desk. It being the very reason why someone like you were in his building and why you had wanted to leave in such a hurry. He chuckles softly to himself before he continues forward to one of the wall clad windows of his office. He leans against it, gazing down towards the sidewalk in front of the building that appears so much smaller from where he stands. It’s minutes later by the time he notices you bolt from the building and head straight for your bike and though he has to squint to see from how small you appear he knows it’s you from how frantic you are.

He is interrupted by a small knock on his door and the sound of it opening. He doesn’t even have to turn around to know who it is. It was going to happen some time today, he knew from the way she dressed in that skin tight black dress that hugged her whole body leaving no room for undergarments. Other days, that dress would have him locking his office and taking her onto the top of his desk where she would scream for his mercy but today his sight was too focused on something else to give into her. 

“Mr. Mendes,” she said seductively, knowing how much he liked to be addressed that way in the office by her. “I got you a basket of muffins. Your favorite. With how many meetings you’ve been having, I thought it would make you feel a little bit better or just cheer you up. I know how those meetings can be.” 

He didn’t turn around or even acknowledge her words at first too focused on you as you unlock your bike from the bike rack, climb on, and ride away down the street. It finally registered that she had been talking when you were no longer in sight. “Oh, yes. I see.” 

That was all he had said and he still hadn’t turned around. She was pushing out her chest and rubbing her thighs together waiting for him to turn and look at her. She had gotten him a basket of muffins and instead of shoving her face down onto his desk as a way to express his gratitude, he was just staring out the damn window. It had been a week since he had devoured her on his grey couch sat in the corner of the room and she was dying to feel his burning touch again. 

Usually by now, he would have been hot and horny to do a couple rounds from his desk to the couch or even on the floor. Anywhere he could just to relieve the throbbing that would appear between his legs from her in that skin tight dress but clearly that wasn’t the case now and she could see that. See that something else was taking up his mind or perhaps someone else. She was getting nervous that he wasn’t going to turn around, that he wasn’t going to acknowledge her in that dress, and wasn’t going to finish off the ache that her thighs couldn’t do on their own. 

“Is that all, Ms. Bloom?” his voice broke her from her thoughts and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. 

She was shocked that he was denying her and denying any moment to pleasure himself. With realization of what he really was saying that shock turned into anger. Her blood began to boil and now she was beginning to feel hot in more than just one place. Waiting another second, thinking he was going to change his mind, she lost it fully when he sent her a glance over his shoulder and raised his eyebrow clearly annoyed. His eyes showed no trace of lust or need and instead was emotionless not even giving her a once over like he always did. At his small glance, her eyes narrowed and sent him the coldest glare she could muster as her lips curled into a snarl. 

“Yes, Mr. Mendes that’s all,” she spat, the words sounding like venom dripping from her tongue as she turned on her heels and stomped out of the office making sure to slam the door on the way out. 

He sighed at the childish behavior, pissed at her response to him refusing to have sex with her. Sure, she was hot or whatever but clearly she didn’t understand that it was going to happen sooner or later. That he was going to get tired of her and toss her aside. He can only stick with one woman for so long before it starts to taste the same on his tongue. 

Since she was his assistant, she should’ve known this out of anybody with how many women, who worked under him, that he would bring in this office to fuck. Each only ever lasting a few weeks at most, she should have easily known this was going to happen. It was just the way he was and no woman could change that. He knew that if she continued to be upset about the whole thing that he would have to fire her, leaving it only being five months since she’d been hired and even if he did have to, it wouldn’t be a problem. 

Many women wanted this job and would kill to wait on his hand and foot at every hour of every day. It would be easy to replace someone like Ms. Bloom. Plus with her now tossed to the side, he had his eyes set on something else. Something that he was going to get no matter how hard it was because he never got refused. Turns out this something was just a college girl who worked at a bakery making muffins.

next part

[happypeachwhispers]

Fries Meet Guys: ALEX HØGH ANDERSEN - I DIDN'T THINK I WAS A PERSON WHO SHOULD TALK ABOUT ANXIETY - Part One: Childhood, Parenting, Socializing

Just a couple words about this work of labor, thank you to everyone who encouraged me, helped me and believed in this translation project. Some parts were more hard than others to make sense of, I appreciate some input if you feel so inclined. It will be posted in five parts, weekly. I really did my very best. Enjoy!

Taglist: @ivarsrideordie

We invited you to the studio today, because we would like to be a little wiser about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a man to you. But for a start, we just have some classic questions. What's your name? How old are you?

Hi, my name is Alex. I'll be 25 this summer, I was born in '94. I come from a small town called Skælskør in West Jutland.

What is your profession?

I am an autodidact actor.

And what is your favorite song?

All the songs by Frank Ocean.

What's your favorite movie?

I simply can't answer that. But I talked to a friend today, we watched In Bruges, a movie with Colin Farrell and it was fucking fun.

What's your favorite dish?

It was chicken thighs for a long time, when I was a kid I liked them cooked in the oven for 25/30 minutes at 200 Celsius degrees. You put a little bit of salt on, and then they are ready, mouthwatering and delicious. But not my favorite anymore, today I'd probably say sushi.

We have given homework to Alex, we asked him to think about the word man and now we are very curious to hear what his thoughts are and what he came up with.

I was thinking of a hell of a lot of things, and at the same time, I was thinking zero things. I think it's so hard to talk about this and to feel that you are somehow obligated to talk about it, but I manged to write something down. So I should be able to talk about this. But it is so hard to feel that one has to generalize in any way. But you shouldn't, really. You can only answer for yourself.

When I come to think of a meaning of the word man, I come to think that I couldn't help but imagine some American culture that we all seem to follow blindly that's based on having the coolest clothes and going to clubs to hook up. Or you just see them wanting to be basketball players and driving sports cars. It's either rappers, basketball players or actors. I wasn't a great guy at all and I was heavily influenced by it, but then I came to realize it's not for me. It's not supposed to be like that at all.

So what's the kind of man that gives priority to those things?

The very first thing that comes to my mind is that they are drawn to that lifestyle cause it means having a lot of money, high status and living without a care in the world. You're a breadwinner. Instead I often worry in terms of where I am here in Copenhagen in 2019 and the group of friends I have here and with whom I spend my time with.

So there have been some people in your life, who have been carefree motherfuckers.

Both things. But I like to go to my dad right away and he is not a carefree person at all. But he is also not a man who has struggled with some of the things that I struggled with. Fighting with anxiety for example. And as I know many of my friends struggle with men but as women. And that's it. My dad says he doesn't know about it because he's from a different generation or maybe I've just been unlucky. He never experienced any of that. Before he could worry, he was a grown man who had to support his family. He has had the same job for 25 years now and then goes home, works in the garden, cuddles with my mother and travels around the world and then comes back home. But I would also say that he has not been very manly, he is actually quite soft many times. I can remember my little sister's confirmation where he was supposed to give a speech but didn't get through it, he was feeling emotional. Mom always keeps a watchful eye on him, especially when he talks about breast cancer and what she has been through.

You described your father as the example of a man you saw growing up, but that was your experience as a boy. What did it mean to you growing up? How did that shape the man you are today?

I think my dad has given me a lot of really cool stuff. His presence in my life gave me a lot. His sense of humor first of all, because he's one of the funniest people I know, and he can definitely be funny on a bad day, too. I love him. I hope my sense of humor is as funny as his. Also he has always been really good at taking things easy. So even when it gets tough, he helps heal all the wounds. He was a very important presence in my life, he has being a really good father and I always think of my dad as the primary example of a man. Even the soft side of my dad. When I talked to him and had heart to heart conversations, he showed me his vulnerable side. And I learned that being vulnerable is ok. That's a really good thing, I think. There has always been room for me, to express myself. He hasn't been one of those patriarchal fathers in a carnally old society, so out of touch and never talking to the children.

But what has it meant to you to have such a father? Where was there room for you or your feelings?

It meant everything in the whole world. He has always been an example. He was supportive of my dreams and  has always been there for me. When I started to do theater, he drove me from Skælskør to Copenhagen from the age of 11 to 17. So six years, where my dad comes and picks me up after work, he picks me up in the afternoon after I finish school or high school. And then he drives me to Copenhagen so that I can do theater, sits and waits for three hours while I do theater, and then he drives me home again. And when he's home, he goes straight to bed because he's going to work the day after. He did it for 6 years in a row, it is very touching and beautiful. He has been a great father, so I also hope that I can become an equally good father at some point, because I have had an absolutely wonderful role model. Him.

This is what you remember and treasure from your childhood. Is there a community at the time that you've been a part of?

Well, the schoolyard. It was football with the boys and I've always played both football and basketball. Football was big for us boys, it was everything. We were always thinking: “who is the best and who is the worst?”. We played all the time and that challenged the competition “gene” I have in me, which is pretty extreme, it was all about me trying to do better than the two or three other guys in my class who were about as good. We were all at the same level. We have always been competitive since primary school.

Probably was a way of socializing.

Yes, I think so. We were such innocent boys and then we became a team. But it's that sense of being wild and free and learning how to win and lose. And then tomorrow is a brand new day to play a new game. Carelessness is such a big thing when you're little. Something you could well miss when you're in your mid-twenties having a lot of problems.

When you say that you mean today you're a completely different man or better, a wiser but soft man with challenges and worries?

I think where I came from was from a really, really nice family. There was room for everything.

That feels like winning.

Yes, that's how you win. We didn't understand many feelings being boys that young. But I remember this talent show I was a part of, when I was 11 years old, it was a tv program where I sang and danced. It was different from what country kids experience, you have just sports there. My classmates came to see me and they were extremely supportive, I was so happy, it was fantastic. There was the whole class in there with banners and everything and the amazing experience so wonderful. But strange. Then a couple months later I had an argument with one of my teammates on the football field, he told me that just because I was on a tv show didn't mean I was better than him. I still remember those words, I was shocked, I remember those words like I heard them a week ago.

Kids, it was just kids, but I felt such a sense of shame, did I really act like I thought I was better than him? No matter who the hell you talk to, people who did something that made them a little different from the others, feel this way. People who might be famous or what the hell. They probably always feel completely calm, especially if I imagine me at 11, I just wanted to go back to school to play football. I did not attach any further value to it. I did not feel that me being on a tv show could have caused problems. But apparently it did. I spent the next six years of my life after that “incident” in Copenhagen, at the Eventyrteatret, feeling more at home than ever.

Why did you feel more at home?

Because they were just like me, crazy just like me, energetic just like me and loved dancing and singing just like me.

END PART ONE

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[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventy-Four

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and smut.

You woke up to the sound of yelling and laughing the next morning. You went into the bathroom to wash-up, threw on some shorts and t-shirt and headed into the kitchen. Anne, Harry, and Gemma were all making breakfast.

“Mornin’, love.” Anne says. “Sorry if we woke yeh.”

“Oh!” You laugh. “No it’s fine, needed to get up anyways.”

You all sit down to breakfast. It was nice having them here. Harry was the most relaxed he’d been in weeks.

“Think I’m gonna take Buster out for a good walk, it’s so nice out.” You say slipping your sneakers on.

“Mind if I join you?” Anne asks.

“Not at all! I’d love it.” You smile. She puts her sneakers on and the two of you head out.

“What’s all tha’ about?” Harry asks Gemma as they go out to sit on the balcony.

“Don’t know.” She shrugs. “Mum gave you a bit of a talk last night, she probably wants to do the same with her. See where her head’s at.”

“You know, I appreciate everyone being so concerned, but at the end of the day it’s our life together, not anyone else’s.”

“Yeah…but you’re her only son, and she’d like for you to only get married once, so she just wants to make sure she’s the right choice. You’ve had a lot of girlfriends Harry.”

“No, I’ve just had a lot of girls.” She punches him in the arm. “Oi!”

“Don’t be a pig.”

“M’not. Just sayin’, really haven’t had a lot of real relationships.”

“Exactly. Probably another concern of mum’s. I mean, you haven’t brought a girl to meet us since you were in high school, Harry.”

“Yeah, yeah. So I suppose you wanna have a private chat with her too?”

“How often are we here to do so?”

“Well, you can do that tomorrow. She told me she’s workin’ from home a couple days to spend time with you and mum.”

“Mum’s plannin’ to go to the studio with you tomorrow so she can watch you in action. She quite likes the park across the street, she’ll probably read there while you’re workin’. So I’ll spend the day with Y/N and Buster. It’ll be nice to have some girl time.”

//

“Good boy Buster!” You say as you pick up his droppings and throw them in the trash. “So much easier when he goes right away, now he can just enjoy the walk.” Anne laughs.

“He’s a very good dog.”

“Yeah, we got lucky.”

“Whose idea was it to get him?”

“Harry’s.” You sigh. “His friend Adam called him and told him he had a fresh litter and we could have one if we wanted. As soon as he showed me the picture I couldn’t say no.” Buster yips. “That’s right, mummy knew right away you were her baby.” You giggle. Anne raises an eyebrow at you. “Sorry, that must sound weird.”

“No, it’s sweet actually. You think of him as your own.”

“It’s hard not to.”

“If you don’t mind me askin’, do you think you’ll want children, eventually?”

“Yeah, eventually. Not anytime soon though. I’m only a couple of classes into my master’s program, and I’d like to have that all settled before I even think about it. I know a dog is way different than having a kid, but it’s already so much extra work making sure he’s taken care of on top of everything else.”

“Mm, and I know my son can be a handful. Quite the baby himself sometimes.” You both laugh.

“Only sometimes, he means well.”

“Can I ask, is this your first serious relationship?”

“Yes and no. This is the longest relationship I’ve had. I’ve certainly never lived with a guy before. I can’t really explain it, Anne, everything just felt right with Harry.”

“You didn’t feel like you were rushin’ when you moved in together or anythin’?”

“To be honest with you, we were practically living together as it was before he asked me if I wanted to.”

“It’s amazing to me. You know there was a girl he was seeing a couple years ago, they were together for like seven months, and he refused to even give her a key to his apartment. Granted, he was a little younger, but still. You’ve definitely had an effect on him.”

“I also chalk it up to a guy’s maturity level. He probably saw his life flash before his eyes you know? Now I think he’s a little more grown up, that’s what Niall tells me at least.” You laugh.

“Very good point. You know we talk weekly, and he always raves about you. Even from the beginning. I could tell he met someone. He didn’t come right out and say it, but he was in such high spirits.”

“Can I ask, when was the first time he mentioned me?”

“Oh god, I think he said he had been seein’ someone, and he was havin’ trouble finding a way to ask you to be his girlfriend. Like, make things official with you. He was scared you were gonna think it was too soon.” You nod and smile. “So I asked him why he wanted to make things official so soon, and he said he didn’t want to risk anyone else scoopin’ yeh up.”

“That sound like something he’d say.” You giggle.

“How did he ask you to be his girlfriend? He never told me, he just said he asked and you said yes.”

Your mind flashes to making out with Harry, drunk, in your old apartment. You let him go down on you for the first time that night.

“Um…we were just hanging out at my place and he asked me if he was my boyfriend…something like that.”

“Not that I didn’t like you before, you know when we met and all that, but when he told me about the party you threw for him for his birthday, and the pearls, that was when I knew I could really trust you with him. He was devastated when he had to sell that necklace. I felt awful for him. He loves his jewelry. He didn’t have the heart to replace it once he could.”

“That means a lot to me to hear you say that.” You both turn around and head back the other way.

“You’re quite the party planner, clearly.”

“I know how to organize a function, that’s for sure. I try to play to my strengths.” You laugh. “I feel like he’s always really happy when he has all of his friends around.”

“Definitely. So…I know it hasn’t quite been a year yet, but I’m a firm believer in when you know you know…” You nod. “If my son asks you to marry him some day…do you think you’d say yes?” You stop short and look at her.

“You mean when your son asks to marry me?” She chuckles and nods. “I would definitely say yes, zero hesitation.” You both start walking again. “Although, I got a bit nervous last night when he called me over to him. When he does it, I don’t want it to be in front of a bunch of people like that. I just want it to be the two of us, you know?”

“Oh definitely. Don’t worry, that certainly wasn’t his plan last night. I think he just wanted you to know you deserved to be celebrated just as much as him.”

“So…from all of this, you’re okay with me becoming part of your family some day?”

“More than okay with it, love.”

You get to the front of your building, and she gives you a hug.

“I’m hopin’ to find out how your mum feels about him. I’m havin’ lunch with her Tuesday.”

“Oh, that’ll be great.” You both enter the lobby and go into the elevator.

“Your dad wasn’t at the party last night.”

“No he was not. He was invited, but he generally doesn’t go to things if my mom is going to be there.”

“Ah, that can be difficult.”

“Do you and your ex husband get along?”

“Well enough, we always put the kids first, that’s all that mattered.” You go inside and Buster goes running towards Harry.

“Hey buddy.” He says petting him. “Good walk?”

“Yup.” You smile.

//

The next day you wish Harry a good first day at the studio and off he goes with Anne. You tell him you and Gemma will be by around lunchtime with Buster.

“So, I’ll be up in the loft working if you need anything.” You say to her.

“Perfect, I’ve got my laptop, I need to work as well, so I may spend some time in the guest room. Let me know when you take him for a walk though, I’ll go with you.”

“Sounds good.”

Buster stays by your side while you work. You zoom into a couple of early morning meetings. Around ten you get the leash on him and knock on the guest room door.

“Ready for a break?” You ask her.

“Yes! Definitely.”

You get to down to the street.

“God, the weather is so much warmer here already than it is back home. Might have to start comin’ here for the summer.” She laughs. “So, what did my mum wanna talk to you about yesterday?”

“What do you mean?”

“C’mon, Y/N, she obviously wanted to talk.”

“You’re very perceptive.” You laugh. “We just talked about your brother. I think she wanted a pulse-check on where I’m at with him.”

“And where are you?” You look at her. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re sick of getting grilled by everyone…he’s just my baby brother, you know?”

“No, no, it’s fine. Basically she asked me what I would say when he eventually proposes and I told her I would say yes.”

“And you don’t feel like it’s too soon or anything? You both are still so young.”

“I know, but neither of us want to be with anyone else. Plus, by the time he does propose, and we pick a date and all that it could be another couple of years before we actually get married.”

“I’ve never seen him so in love, it’s really nice. He’s always been so sweet and considerate, an ally to women’s rights and all that. But when it came to datin’, he was like every other fuck boy out there, I’ll never understand it.” She scoffs.

“I think a lot of guys go through that phase. I had some guy friends in college that were amazing friends, but would treat other girls like shit. It’s not right, but I guess it’s good to get all that out of your system, right?”

“I’m just glad he figured his shit out. Personally, I think you have a great deal of patience to be able to even live with him. He can be a bit of baby, you know?” You start laughing hysterically.

“Your mum said the exact same thing.”

You both turn back and head to the apartment.

“All in all I’m he’s found you. I hope your family feels the same way about him.”

“I think they do…” You get inside and take the leash off Buster. “It’s a bit more complicated with me and them. They’re…a little more apprehensive to trust someone in my life.”

“Why’s that? If you don’t mind me asking…”

It dawns on you that Harry probably never told Gemma about what happened to you.

“Um…I’ve just been burned in the past, and I’m the baby, I know Harry’s the youngest too, but my siblings actually helped change my diapers. I’m more than just a little sister, you know?”

“Oh sure. Plus I can imagine it’s tough for your parents to see their last kid growin’ up so much.”

“Exactly. I think they’re happy that I’m happy. I’ll be curious to see how our moms do at lunch together.”

“To be a fly on the wall, right?”

//

At noon you and Gemma head to the studio with Buster. Him and Mariah were working in separate areas, snapping away. You walk up to Isaac.

“Got a dog biscuit for him, can I give him one?”

“Only if he does a trick for you.”

“Alright, sit Buster.” He does so. “Good boy!” He gives him the biscuit. “Got a little bed for him right here behind my desk.”

“Go ahead baby, sit with Uncle Isaac.”

Buster looks at you and then goes to plop down in his bed.

“It’s been busy all morning. Lot of senior photos. It’s great having the park right there, they’ve both been able to take pictures of the kids by the trees and stuff.”

“That’s great!”

“Thought one girl was going to wet her pants when she first met Harry, poor thing.”

“Oh no, why?” Gemma asks.

“Oh, honey, I know he’s your brother, but he’s hotter than sin. If I were a little seventeen year old girl, my god, I don’t know what I’d do if I had that man standing right in front of me with a camera telling me to smile.” You burst out laughing, which catches Harry’s attention. He looks over at you and his sister and shakes his head. “He should be done any minute. He wanted to get some inside shots with that one.”

“No problem, it’s why there’s a waiting area right?” You and Gemma sit down on the comfy chairs.

Harry walks the young girl up to Isaac.

“When’s your mum gettin’ back?”

“I’ll text her now to let her know I’m done.” She smiles. “Thanks for showing me some of them. I’m gonna tell all my friends to come to you this summer.” Isaac hands her one of Harry’s business cards. Buster comes sniffing around. “Oh!” She squeals.

“That’s my boy, Buster. You can pet him if you want.” The girl beams at him and crouches down to pet him. Her mother comes rushing inside the studio.

“Sorry, honey, long line at Dunkin. All set?”

“Yeah! They look great already.”

“When can we expect them?”

“Couple of weeks, I’ll need to sit and edit them. Then you’ll get an email with a link to our site, and you can pick which ones you want to purchase. I’ll send you the files electronically cause I know the schools prefer that for the yearbook, and I’ll email you all the actual prints.”

“That sounds great. I have to say too, you have the fairest prices for everything. I’ve told a few of the other parents about you and Mariah.”

“Thanks! We really appreciate that.” He smiles. “Isaac, m’goin’ to lunch, can you wrap this up?”

“You got it.” He smiles.

“Wanna eat outside? It’s beautiful out…mum’s already out there.”

“Sure! What she pick up?”

“Salad and sandwiches I think.” He wraps an arm around you. “Buster!” He whistles to him and grabs his leash.

You all walk across the street to the park and sit with Anne at one of the picnic benches. It’s a great lunch. You like spending time with them.

//

The next day Anne borrows Harry’s car to go meet your mom for lunch at a halfway point. Harry had Mariah come pick him up so you’d have your car to go to therapy later.

“Hi, Lynn!” Anne says to your mom.

“Oh, hi!” she laughs. “Hope this wasn’t too hard for you to find.”

“Not at all.” She smiles. They’re both seated fairly fast. “I’m so glad we could do this.”

“Me too. Y/N speaks the world of you and Gemma, I was wondering when we’d get a chance to meet you. It was such a nice surprise for Harry.”

“I felt horrible keepin’ such a secret from him. But last month when Y/N called me told me she wanted to surprise him, I had to jump in on it.”

“She’s the queen of surprises.” Your mom laughs.

“They’re a lovely couple, don’t you think?” Your mom nods in agreement. “You met my son by accident, right? At the mall?”

“God, I completely forgot about that. That’s right, we bumped into him and Niall. He was very funny, and he wouldn’t let me pay for lunch, quite the gentleman.” She smiles.

“What did you think about when they moved in together so quickly?”

“Well…to be honest I wasn’t thrilled, but it’s not my life.” She shrugs. “It wasn’t that I didn’t like Harry either, I would have been concerned with anyone she was dating.” Anne nods. “Y/N’s always been very independent, moves to the beat of her own drum. She’s got a different way of seeing things.”

“She’s very bright.”

“You have no idea! I feel like each one of my kids just kept getting smarter and smarter.” She laughs and then sighs. “I can’t get too much into it because I know she’d be upset with me if I tell you this, but my daughter has been through…something tragic…something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Something I never thought would happen to any of my kids. She’s made it through and she’s very strong, but when her and Harry started getting serious, I did get worried. I’m not worried anymore though. I can see how much he cares for her, and she’s happy. Her siblings are very protective of her too, as I’m sure Gemma is of Harry.”

“Oh my, of course. I’m sorry to hear she’s been through something…” She looks down at her food then back to your mom. “She’s the baby of your family too, I can see you all wanting to watch her like a hawk.”

“Her father especially so.” She takes a sip of water. “I’m sorry he wasn’t there last night for you to meet him.”

“That’s alright, I’m sure in time we will. Harry told me he was a great help in gettin’ the studio together.”

“He’s nothing if not handy.” She smiles.

“Lynn…my son wants to marry your daughter.” Your mom nearly spits out her drink. “Jesus, I’m sorry.” She hands her a napkin.

“When exactly does he plan to do that?”

“I’m not sure…he’s not plannin’ to propose for another few months, but it’s comin’. I gave him my blessing. I think the world of your daughter.” There’s an awkward pause. “I hope you’ll accept my son the way I’ve accepted her.”

“It’s not that I don’t accept him…it just feels so fast!” She sighs. “But who am I to say anything? At the end of the day she’s going to be asked a question, and it’s her choice to say yes or no. I’ll back her up no matter what.” She chews on her lip. “Her father, however, he’ll be happy for her at first, but he’ll find a way to ruin it. I try not to speak poorly of my ex, but he’s an asshole.”

Anne bursts out laughing.

“That’s quite alright.”

“He just always finds a way to be negative, and he’ll ask them a million questions. Everything always comes down to money. I know she’ll want a nice, big wedding too. And he’ll say ‘well, wouldn’t you rather save that money and put it towards something important’. As if he and I didn’t have a wedding like everyone else.”

“Did you get married in a temple?”

“We did.” She smiles. “It was really informal. I wore a purple pantsuit.” She laughs. “I was already pregnant with our first daughter, Bridget, so I didn’t exactly want to be a in a white dress. It was a nice ceremony though, good reception.”

“Harry told me if they have kids they’d raise them as Jewish…”

“Are you okay with that? Having Jewish grand-babies?”

“Sure.” She shrugs. “He said they’d still do Christmas and Easter, of course.”

“My son’s wife isn’t Jewish, they make it work just fine. Erica’s boyfriend isn’t Jewish either, we’re not a super conservative family in that sense. Do you think he’d want the wedding overseas?”

“No, not with so much of your family here. We have a small family. And a lot of his friends are here now anyways, only a few he sees back home.” She takes a sip of her drink. “I know this conversation may seem a little premature, but I wanted to have it with you in person while I was here.”

“I understand completely. I’m glad we were able to do this.”

//

You and Gemma cook dinner together so Harry would have something to eat when he got home. You’d mostly likely be home after him.

“Well, I’ll see you both in a bit.” You smile. You had your gym clothes on, you didn’t really feel like explaining you were going to therapy.

“Alright dear, see you soon.” Anne says.

She told you all about her lunch with your mom and how well it went. You texted your mom a big thank you right after.

“How are you Y/N?”

“Really good actually.”

“Did you just come from the gym?”

“No, I just put this on because Harry’s mum and sister are staying with us, and I didn’t want to explain I was going to therapy…”

“Ah, I see.”

“I didn’t know if they’d ask why I was going to therapy, and I just didn’t want to get into it.”

“I understand.” She smiles. “How did the studio opening go?”

“Oh my god, it was incredible!”

//

Harry gets in around 6:30, and smiles when he sees his sister and mum. He grabs the dinner you had texted him about and sits down on the sofa with them.

“How was day two?” Gemma asks.

“Great! It was nice to have Buster with me the whole day, right buddy?” He hips and sits at their feet. “Sure he misses his mum though.”

“She’s been at the gym a while.” Anne says. “Does she always go for so long?”

“Gym?”

“Yeah, she had her gym clothes on, I just assumed that’s where she went.”

“Hm.”

You get in around 7PM and see them all watching TV. Harry gets up after you say hello and follows you to the bedroom.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi, how was your day?”

“Good, busy.” You hum your response and find some sweats to put on.

“A.C.’s up a bit high.” You chuckle as you pulls some sweatpants on.

“Did you go to the gym?”

“So, I went to see Dr. Mara, why?”

“My mum said you went to the gym, that’s all.”

“No, I just put gym clothes on to make them think that’s where I was going. They don’t know I go to therapy Harry, and then don’t need to.”

“It’s a perfectly normal thing to say you’re doin’.”

“Yeah, but what if they asked why?” You look at him. “See? Not a good answer for that, is there. I don’t exactly feel comfortable telling your mum and sister that I was assaulted.” You whisper.

“Okay, yeah, that’s fair.” He wraps his arms around you. “I feel like I miss you.” He buries his face in your neck.

“Aw, why?” You rub his back up and down.

“I don’t know…haven’t been able to cuddle much.”

“Can’t cuddle with your mum and sister sitting on the sofa with us.” You kiss his cheek and hold him tight. “They probably think something’s going on here as it is, let’s go sit with them, hm?”

“No.”

“Harry.”

“No, I’m tired, and I’m sick of TV for the night. I feel like readin’.”

“So, we can watch TV and you can read. We’ll go to bed early so we can cuddle for a bit, okay?”

“Fine.” He grabs his book and his glasses and follows you out.

Harry sits down and yanks you into his lap.

“Harry, I-“

“S’fine, love, you can sit with him.” Anne says. “It’s your home, after all.”

The three of you watch TV for a bit while Harry reads. Around nine you and Harry tell them you’re heading to bed. You say goodnight to Buster and go into your room. You both do your usual routine and get into bed.

“Wouldja just lay on top of me?”

“I know what that’s going to lead to, and I don’t feel-“

“Y/N! I’m not fuckin’ around, come here!” He pulls you on top of him and you swat at his chest.

“Shhhh, do you want them to hear you?”

“I don’t give a fuck.” He holds you tight to his chest and strokes the back of your head. You relax into him. “See, isn’t this nice?” You both chuckle.

“Shut up.” He kisses your hairline as you nuzzle into him. “They’ll only be here two more days, Harry. You should make the most of it.”

“I am makin’ the most of it. Mum and Gem are both comin’ to the studio tomorrow since you’re back to work. I just think we should be able to do whatever we want even if they’re here.”

“Well, I feel weird about it. It’s icky.”

“Icky?” He laughs.

“Yeah, do you really want them to know what it sounds like when we’re fucking?”

“Babe, I’m sure they’ve heard me before. I used to sneak my girlfriends over all the time.”

“How nice for you.” You say sarcastically.

“I just wanna love on yeh, is that so bad?”

You smile at him and kiss him. His hands slide down to your ass, and he lightly squeezes you. You moan softly against his lips. You feel him getting hard against you and you can’t help but grind against him. He pushes his hips up towards you as you grind down again. You put your hand over his mouth just as he’s about to moan.

“We have to be so quiet.”

Harry nods yes. You tug his boxers down slightly, and move your panties over. He slides right in.

“Oh my g-“ You put put your hand back over his mouth.

“Yes, I’m really wet, we been knew, now shh.” You whisper in his ear.

You keep your hand on his mouth, and your face is buried in his neck. His hands move to your hips to rock you back and forth on him. You both were under the covers, causing you to sweat more than usual, but it helped muffle the noise.

Harry wanted it to last as long as possible, you just felt so good. He wanted to tell you how good you felt, but your hand was still over his mouth. Your other hand moves to grip at his hair when he takes a hand to rub at your clit. You bite down on his shoulder. Your hand moves from his mouth to grip the pillow bellow him. You grind against him faster and he does all he can to not let out a noise.

“I needja to kiss me.” He breathes. “Please.”

You crash your lips to his and you both moan into each other. He rubs his fingers faster on your clit. Your back arches and you gasp as you release around him. As you tighten around him he comes up inside you, causing you to moan. You clap your hand over your mouth and press your forehead to his as he thrusts up one last time.

“Shit.” You say against his lips.

“So fucking good.” He breathes.

You get off him slowly and roll onto your back. You wiggles your panties off and sigh. You get up and go use the toilet. When you’re done you come back over to him and lay your head on his chest. He rubs your back slowly.

“Do you ever think…neither of us zero self control?” You ask giggling. “I mean, we can’t go two nights without fucking? What other couples do you know have sex as often as we do?” Harry starts laughing too, and kisses your forehead.

“I hope to God we always stay one of those couples that can’t keep their hands off each other.”

//

The next morning you’re up and out early. You decide to bring Buster to work with you since you missed him so much yesterday. Anne is out on the balcony sipping her coffee while Harry and Gemma have breakfast.

“Sleep well?” He asks her.

“Yeah, it’s a comfy bed. You?”

“Mhm.”

“I’ll bet.” She smirks. Harry raises an eyebrow at her while he sips his coffee.

“What do yeh mean by tha’?” She puts her hand on his shoulder.

“I think you know.” She winks and walks out of the kitchen.

//

“Thank god you’re back.” Niall says, coming into your office. “Hate when you take two days off in a row.” He pouts.

“Technically I wasn’t off.” Buster runs towards Niall.

“I was talkin’ to the dog.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” You both laugh.

“So how have the last couple days been with Anne and Gem here?”

“Really good actually. I’ve had some good talks with them. I think Harry’s been enjoying spending time with them. I think it really helped relax him, you know?”

“Yeah I’ve texted him a bit, he’s really busy with work already, it’s great.”

“I’m so proud of him. I think he prefers getting to take pictures of people.”

“Oh, for sure.”

//

Before you know it, you and Harry are driving Anne and Gemma to the airport Thursday evening. Everyone hugs and kisses goodbye.

“So, we’ll see you in July?” Anne asks.

“Yup.” Harry smiles. “Have a safe flight, let me know when you land.”

You both get back in the car. Harry kisses your hand as he drives off.

“Thanks again for gettin’ them here. It was great.”

“Of course! I know it meant a lot to you to have them there for the opening.” You take your phone out and connect it to the Bluetooth. “Now, we need to listen to the Weeknd because the concert is only a month away and I want to make sure you know all of the songs, okay?”

“I know quite a few.”

“Not off his new album! We’re going to be so close to the stage, what if he looks out to us and doesn’t see you mouthing the words because you don’t know it? You’ll look like such a local.”

“A local?” He laughs. “What the fuck is a local?” You sigh heavily. “Okay, okay, why don’t we play it when we get home? I’ll fuck you to it how you like.” Your mouth falls open. “Would yeh like that?”

“Yes.” You nod excitedly.

Harry takes Buster out quick when you get home and you run off to the bedroom. You decide to put some lingerie on. The black lace bodysuit. You get the music started and lay on your stomach. Harry gets Buster tucked into his dog bed and sprints to the bedroom.

“Oh, wow.” He says. You make a come here motion with your finger and sit up on your knees.

He cups your face in his hands and kisses you, like really kisses you. His tongue molds to yours and you moan into his mouth. You tug at the hem of his shirt and he lifts it off. You run your hands over his tattoos. You felt like you hadn’t been able to really touch him for a while.

“Tonight.” He says against your lips. “We’re takin’ our time.”

[az-ryzhik]

Dumping some Naegami headcanons on you cuz I’m so pissed that the Naegami hashtag is now hidden in Instagram. Pt 1.

So there are some Naegami headcanons of mine. This is how I see their relationship uwu 1. Byakuya was the first to fall in love, but Makoto was the first to confess. Once Byakuya realized that he had feelings for Makoto - he tried to deny it for the first 50 minutes by making up excuses in his head. The reason for that is basically his family traditions for the most part. First, Byakuya can’t marry anyone and he must have children with A LOT of women and second, Makoto is simply not “the type of person” a Togami could have something with. Even “friendship” sounded impossible back then.  He dealt with it once he realized that the denial will not help. It’s just running away from a problem. And a Togami simply CAN’T run away from their problems. Eventually, they got closer as friends (even if Byakuya refused to say “friend” out loud). His feelings didn’t go away but he never planned to confess. Because of the situation, he was in, Togami started to contradict himself. On the one hand, he couldn’t ignore his feelings. So every time he saw Makoto - he couldn’t help but think how precious Naegi is. On the other hand - his duty as an heir will forever be with him. He must fulfill it no matter how he feels about it. Especially after the Tragedy, because Byakuya must restore his name and company. And if he will not have children - Togami name would die sooner or later. In this situation he couldn’t simply say “eff those family traditions, I will marry whoever I want!” So his feelings were kept secret. Makoto, however, had a different idea. When he realized that he probably had a crush on Byakuya - he planned to confess it after some preparation. He felt awkward and scared as hell, of course. But Naegi couldn’t even begin to imagine how Togami felt after hearing his confession. And Byakuya thought that the situation couldn’t be worse. He didn’t want to reject Makoto, but he couldn’t accept his confession either. He just froze for some time and didn’t respond to anything. That was a mistake, because Makoto thought Byakuya was ignoring him on purpose. Naegi was very upset by it and left without a word, locking himself in his room. This could be the end of their friendship and relationship if Aoi hadn't overheard it, step in and made Byakuya do something about it. Togami was forced to confess his love and apologize for ignoring Makoto (well, he is not good at apologizing at all, so it was something like “It’s... not what I wanted... I will explain, but I want you to stop looking at me with your big sad eyes”. But honestly, that was enough for Naegi to feel a lot better). _______________________________________________________________ 2. They will never marry each other.  Byakuya explained that the reason he didn’t want to confess is Togami family traditions. Makoto knew about it, but didn’t think that it could prevent Byakuya from being together with somebody, because Naegi found a loophole in it. He didn’t mind being Byakuya’s lover and not husband, because there are no much difference. Also he didn’t mind if Byakuya will have children with someone else. Even though Togami was really unsure about it, they decided to at least try to live like that.  _______________________________________________________________ 3. Byakuya thinks twice before making any move. It’s true that Byakuya is an asshole, but he really don’t want to be a bad boyfriend. Because he had zero romantic experiences, he asked Aoi to help him. Asahina took it seriously, At first Togami didn't want Makoto to know that Aoi gives him romantic advises, but Naegi ended up learning this fact really soon. Makoto find it really cute that Byakuya is trying to be better for him, so of course he didn’t mind Aoi’s help.  Togami learned that his actions have consequences and his words can hurt people. The last thing he wants is to be too straightforward when he really shouldn’t. That’s why at first he began to be quiet when he doesn’t know what he should say. He relaxed a bit once Makoto noticed how hard it is for him and they talked those things over because it’s important to be nice AND honest with each other. After some time Byakuya became a lot more confident, but he still thinks that he should be careful. _______________________________________________________________ 4. They don't live together. Byakuya is too busy leading his corporation and Future Foundation (after the last killing game he was one of the few leaders who stayed alive, so he took over it). Makoto is also busy with the new Hope’s Peak Academy. Not only that, but their lifestyles are also completely different from each other. It will be very hard for Makoto to permanently stay in the “elite” environment because he is still a guy who finds happiness in simple “peasant” things. The same with Byakuya, but the other way around. They’ve come up with an idea that will satisfy both of them. After they have done their jobs - one of them will go to another’s house. They will spend some time together before going to sleep. They can read together or watch the movie (Byakuya will never just watch TV, only high-class movies or shows) or play a game (starting from card games and ending with video games that Byakuya will tolerate. He doesn’t really like it, but if Makoto really wants - why not giving it a shot?) or just walking together somewhere and chatting.  If Makoto have too much work to do - Byakuya will come and help him with it so they can still spend some time together on that day. But sometimes they simply can’t see each other because Byakuya is too busy. Unlike Makoto, Togami never wants Makoto to help him with his work. Because first “I am Togami Byakuya and those papers are MY responsibility. I don’t need help with it” and second “Didn’t you had enough paperwork today, Makoto? You better go home and rest, because tomorrow Hope’s Peak Academy will need all your attention”. In this situation all Naegi can do is text Byakuya before going to sleep and wish him good night. _______________________________________________________________ 5. Byakuya can’t stand fast-food.  Togami might learn how to respect Makoto’s music taste, movie taste, etc. but he will NEVER let Makoto eat junk food on his watch. It doesn’t matter how enjoyable it is for him - “it will end up effect your stomach in a VERY bad way!” Chips, instant noodles, burgers all of this will end up in a garbage bag, because “this is where it belongs”. The only exception is Makoto’s birthday (Byakuya still hates this type of food, but it will not hurt too much to let Naegi eat this once a year). Aoi really dislikes the fact that Togami is having that much control over it, but this is the subject where Aoi’s or Makoto’s opinions don’t matter to him. “This is garbage food that is having a negative impact on the body. Makoto deserves high-class food that will never cause him any problems once he reaches 40. Junk-food is objectively bad. End of story”. Makoto did find it annoying a first, but he did understand why his boyfriend doing this. Makoto still secretly eats junk-food sometimes, but he agrees that it would be better to stop and listen to Byakuya. This is the main reason why Togami likes more when Makoto is coming at his place because Byakuya knows that the dinner (and the breakfast in the morning) will be 100% healthy. _______________________________________________________________ Okay, that’s all for now! Have a nice day ~

[herohotline]

bing bong! hewwo! would like to request for a prohero!deku meeting with his ex lover who he left to pursue his dream of becoming the #1 hero and finding out that she has a child that was actually his. everything else is up to your creative mind! hope it's not too much, thank you! 💜❣️

A/N: i love these kinds of requests!! im a sucker for kids and pregnancy requests, especially ones with reunions. Thank you for indulging me

Reader has a slight Teleportation quirk as well; it’s noted once or twice in the story. 

(You’ll get why this gif was perfect to use when you read the story lmao)

Word Count: 2,300+ 

No Longer a Coward (Izuku/You) 

There’s a lot of aspects to becoming a hero that Izuku hadn’t realized- none of his classes really warned him about how his privacy was practically zero to none, a two hundred pound weight of stress followed him by the ankles every day, and that a love life was practically impossible. 

Izuku wasn’t exactly yearning for a partner, but he wouldn’t lie- he missed it. He doesn’t casually date, either, so finding someone was harder than usual even if he wasn’t a hero. Once upon a time, he met you- a wonderful person who made him feel warm and happy and made him laugh. But the timing wasn’t right, the stress was unbearable, and he couldn’t commit- so things ended between the two of you after dating for around a year and a half. 

The pro-hero still thought about you even though he hadn’t seen you for over three years. Of course, Izuku was heart-broken by your decision to move away after your break up, but he could understand. It didn’t make it easier, suddenly being torn away from a person he still genuinely cared for, but he understood. 

Maybe one day you’ll come back, Izuku thinks. Maybe you’ll come back and both of you can be friends again, maybe even something more. The past few years have taught Izuku a lot, and he thinks that maybe he’s past his self-doubt and immaturity- maybe next time, if you’d want to, he can actually take care of you.

But this is just a lot of maybes and what if’s. What the hero should do is call your number and actually initiate a conversation. 

He’s fought a lot of villains, he’s had several close calls with death, but he can’t pick up the phone and call you… Izuku scoffs. 

Even after all this time, he’s still a coward, isn’t he?

— *** —

You think about calling Izuku a lot, but you can never manage to do it. Truly, you feel like scum- an awful coward. 

You never meant to hide this from him- you didn’t figure out you were pregnant until after your big move, and at that point, you were still heartbroken. Just thinking about seeing Izuku made your eyes well up, so you convinced yourself that once you gave birth you’d find the courage to tell him everything. 

Three years have passed. 

Your daughter is a healthy ball of energy, her hair just like his in color and obnoxious wavy ends. Her eyes sparkle just like his, too. You won’t lie- the fact that she resembles her father so much stings sometimes. But it doesn’t hurt as much as knowing that you’re forcing her to have a life with only one parent. 

She should have a father- she deserves it. She doesn’t deserve your cowardly behavior, so after a lot of thought and an impulsive streak, you pack up to go on a day trip back to Musutafu. 

Yui, your daughter, doesn’t know why you’re going to the big city, but she’s very excited. She’s only three, but her passion is strong and she can’t wait to meet all the big pro-heroes! 

Just like her dad. 

You hold Yui’s hand as you walk through the familiar city, pointing out anything that might interest her (which is basically everything). You plan on staying in Musutafu for a few days, so meeting up with Izuku wasn’t planned just yet. Instead, you want to make some good memories with your daughter before her life changes before her very eyes. 

You take her everywhere you can. A fancy ice cream parlor, a hero museum, a huge children’s park. Yui is beaming, smiling ear to ear the entire time. 

Everything has gone relatively well, which you’re pleasantly surprised at. At least, it was going well-

Until you run into pro-hero Shoto. Or, as you know him- Todoroki. 

Yui is the one that spots him, her whole body practically vibrating as she points at him eagerly. He’s exiting a grocery, two plastic bags in his hands. 

“Mommy, mommy it’s Shoto!” 

At the sound of his name, you watch in silent horror as Todoroki’s head turns and spots the two of you. He sees the little girl first, his brows furrowing, and then he looks up at you- 

You’d call yourself lucky to ever see such an animated expression on his face, but unfortunately for you, it’s kind of bad news. 

“You’re right, it’s the hero Shoto! Would you like to say hi?” You enunciate the ‘hero’ part, hoping that your old friend will take the hint. He slowly approaches you both, still looking quite confused, but he switches it off so he can greet your daughter properly. 

“Hello, little miss,” Todoroki smiles, reaching a hand out. She happily shakes it. 

“I see you on TV!”

“You do? That’s very cool.” 

“Yeah! You kick butt.”

He actually laughs, a quiet and soft laugh, and you’re glad that he’s not offended by her blunt behavior. It’s that moment his phone rings and he excuses himself with an apology, looking at the screen. 

“Well, since Shoto’s busy, we should probably leave, honey,” God get me out of here. 

“You don’t have to go, you know who it is,” he looks up at you with an upright eyebrow, showing you the screen. “It’s pro-hero Deku.”

Your face pales. “Todoroki, don’t-“ 

“Wow, really?!” Yui shouts, getting several looks from passerby’s. The icy-hot user smiles again as he accepts the call. 

“Hey, Deku. Guess who I’m talking to.”

You finally let go of Yui’s hand, lunging forward to grasp Todoroki’s wrist. You look at him desperately, whispering. “Please don’t. I’m here so I can tell him. Don’t make it happen like this, Shoto.” 

“…An old friend. I’ll put them on.” 

He hands you the phone with a tired look in his eye. “Then make it happen,” he wordlessly mouths to you before heading over to your daughter to give you at least an inkling of privacy. 

God, when did Todoroki turn into such a meddlemaker? 

“-llo? Hello? Shoto, this is weird,” you finally lift the phone to your ear. Your heart skips several times at the sound of his voice- oh God, this is happening. 

“Hi, Izuku,” you bite your lip hard. There’s silence on the other end before you hear a rumbling sound and an ‘oof!’ Did he just fall? 

“___?” He asks. 

“…Yeah, it’s me. I’m, um… visiting the city and I kind of ran into Todoroki. He just shoved the phone in my hands.” 

“Sounds like him,” Izuku sighs and you laugh.

“Not to me! He’s changed a lot.” There’s another silence as you shift your feet anxiously. “Well… okay, listen. I’m actually here in Musutafu because I really need to talk to you about something. Could- do you have time to meet up with me tomorrow?”

“Oh. Uh- well- yeah, of course. What’s… what do you need to talk about?”

Good to know that his voice still goes high pitched when he’s nervous. You smile without thinking about it, watching Shoto pick up Yui and point towards something or other.

“I can’t tell you over the phone. Could we meet at the park, the one next to your old house that you went to as a kid?” You had been meaning to show Yui that area. 

“Alright, that’s great! And, um… I’m really glad you’re back, ___.” You hear him sigh on the other end. “I’ll see you then. I hope you’re okay.” 

“I’m fine, Izuku. I’ll see you tomorrow- and I’ll give you back to Shoto now since you called him in the first place.” You barely hear what Izuku says, the phone already away from your face as you walk towards Shoto. You gesture for him to take it with a mildly unimpressed look on your face. 

Yeah, his stunt might have worked, but it was still a dick move.

“Okay, I have to go now,” Shoto lets your daughter down and pats her head. “Thank you for telling me about so many animals.” 

“You’re welcome!” Yui puffs out her chest, quickly walking back to you and taking your hand. You smile down at her- but freeze up again when you hear Shoto.

“Who was that? Oh…” As if it wasn’t a big deal, he throws you a thumbs up. “A kid wanted to get an autograph.” Nice. 

The two of you silently wave, walking in your separate directions. Yui talks animatedly about her time with Shoto while you were on the phone, but you can’t do anything more than nod and smile along.

This is it, you think. I’m going to tell him. He’s going to know. It’s all that’s on your mind as you check in the hotel you reserved a room for and unpack your clothes.

My life is about to drastically change.

—

You let Yui play on the swings and jungle gym as you wait for Izuku to arrive. Your foot anxiously taps on the concrete as you sit on a nearby bench, your fingers scratching at your wrists and teeth tugging your lip. You’re a few steps away from being a complete wreck- it doesn’t help that you couldn’t sleep at all last night.

How does one go about this? Hey, Izuku, it’s been three years since our break up and hey, have you ever wanted kids? Well, surprise!

You deflate in your seat. Yeah, right. As if you could be blunt like that.

At least the park is mildly empty- you’re a little worried about meeting the top hero in a public setting, especially when you’re having him meet his daughter. Uh-oh. Your face pales- what if someone saw? What if news got out?

Suddenly you realize that this may have not been a great idea. 

But apparently, you’re stuck with your bad decisions- right as you’re about to call Izuku to change plans, you hear your name from behind you. You immediately stand up, looking back and meeting eyes with the man you haven’t seen face to face in so long. 

“Izuku,” you try not to smile- really- but you can’t help it. He’s just as handsome as he is on TV, but actually standing near him you can see all the tiny details that a camera just can’t bring to life. 

The happiness in his eyes is something you can’t replace. He smiles back, taking the few steps he needs to meet you and bring you into an embrace.

“___,” Izuku sighs, “I’m so glad to see you.” 

You hug him back, your hands gripping his shirt. You half expected him to wear his Hero Suit since it’s all you’ve seen him in recently because of the news- you’re glad he didn’t. In your opinion, Izuku looks much better wearing casual clothes. 

“I’m glad to see you too, Izuku,” you break the hug and sit back down on the bench, urging him to sit beside you. More than anything, you’d like to take your time and get to know him again, but you know that your daughter will only be distracted by the park for so long. “Okay, so, I just… need to tell you this right away. Rip off the bandaid, you know?” Your hands return to your lap, anxiously wringing as you look at him. “But I- I want you to know that… I didn’t mean to hide anything from you. I would never hide something from you on purpose.” 

“What?” Izuku’s face falls as his eyebrows furrow. “What- what did you hide?” He really didn’t know where this was headed.

You take a big breath. Guilt and anxiety rushes to you in waves but you try to push it back. You need to do this. “Listen, Izuku, I… when I left-“

“Mommy!”

Your daughter’s scream cuts you off and your head snaps toward the sound, eyes wide. You want to curse- you knew your daughter liked to climb things, but the swing set? How did she do that?

It doesn’t matter- she’s falling, that’s what matters. You quickly use your quirk and teleport to the swings, swiftly catching Yui before she fell on the bark chips. “Yui!” You place her down on the ground. “What did I tell you about climbing things? You can’t always rely on me to catch you- you could get hurt!”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. She’s obviously upset and you’re a sucker- you take her into your arms again and kiss her head.

“Just be careful, honey.” You carefully pick her up, holding her by her bottom as you stand. “I have someone I want you to meet, okay? Will you be a good girl for me?” 

Yui looks confused, but she nods and you smile at her in reassurance. You walk back to the bench where Izuku was now standing at- his eyes wide in disbelief as he stared down at your daughter.

His daughter.

“Yui, this is Izuku. He’s, um…” You hesitate- do you tell her the truth? Does he even want to be a part of her life? 

Izuku picks up from where you left off. “I’m- I’m your dad.” He looks up at you before quickly looking back to Yui, holding a hand out for her to grab. “Is… that okay?” You hide your face in your daughter’s chest with a silent laugh, tearing up quietly. You feel her tiny body move and watch as her little fingers grab Izuku’s own. 

“You’re daddy?” Yui looks back up to you, still holding Izuku’s hand. “Is he?” 

“Yes, Yui,” you sniff and readjust her in your arms, trying to wiggle a hand free so you can wipe some of your tears. She leans forward to whisper in your ear and you grin happily as you nod. “Yeah, okay. Izuku, would you…” you step a little closer to him. “Would you want to give her a hug?” 

“YEAH,” Izuku bursts, frantically nodding his head and reaching out to wrap his arms around Yui who wiggles from your arms to his. You take a step back as you look at them. It’s so weird, honestly, seeing this perfect picture of Izuku sobbing with your daughter wrapped around him, looking so, so happy- it’s a picture that you only imagined up until now. 

And now it’s finally real, and you feel like you can breathe. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #466

“she is the butcher, she wants the air  /  she hides the scars under her hair”

Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. What do you do when you’re pissed off? Isolate and cry. Have you ever had unprotected sex? Good luck catchin' me do that. What did your mother study at university? Social work. What was the last thing you took a video of? I have zero idea. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid weather can actually fuck off. What was the last housework you did? Does changing my cat's litter count? Have you ever had famous neighbors? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? Nope. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? NO EW EW EW EW EW Do you talk to your pets? If you don't, are you REALLY a pet parent??????? Who is a famous person you could see yourself reading a biography about? He's always said he doesn't want to but I really hope Mark writes an autobiography one day alskdjklafjw;ejr Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. What skill that you have do you make most use of? idk man Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Nah. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? No. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Sometimes/some places yes, other times/places, no. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? It would probably change with what I'm feeling, but I lean towards a nice center piece brownie. :^) If you’re out late, where are you likely to be? This literally never happens. Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Our mall is lame as fuck. It definitely doesn't have one. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Mark, lmao. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Politics. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? "Confined" seems like a strong word, but a nurse did give me one at the doctor's office when I massively tore a ligament in my foot and could barely walk at all. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? Don't remind me that I don't have a job. Have you told anyone you love them today? Not yet, but I'm sure I will later. Have you ever worked in an office? No, but I guess that's what I'm going to wind up going for once I'm ready to job-hunt again... It feels sad that I'm actually aiming for the cubicle life now just because my interaction with people would be much more limited than with most other jobs. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? My mom. Do you prefer margarine or butter, and why? I don't even know if I'd recognize the taste difference. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Do you have any strange fears or phobias that you’re embarrassed of? That I'm embarrassed of, no. Can you smell anything right now? No. Have you ever tried coconut water? No. Which Asian country would you like to visit the most? Idk. Maybe Japan? How old were your parents when they got engaged? I have no idea. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? No. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? No. Just the idea grosses me out. Where is your next vacation? Couldn't tell ya, buddy. Which are better black or green olives? I'm not a fan of black olives, and I won't even TRY green ones. They just look so fucking disgusting to me. Does your car have a backup camera? Mom's doesn't. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? No. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water? Essentia. Is your skin more oily, dry, or combination? It's a combination depending on the location. Where did you meet your current significant other? High school band. What kind of house do you wish you lived in? One that's in the woods. What was the last compliment you received from an old lady? I don't have a clue. Do you know how to cut hair? Properly, no. Have you ever had a classmate die? I believe maybe once? If you have a song stuck in your head, what is it? I recently discovered "Foxy, Foxy" by Rob Zombie and it's Good Stuff. Do you tend to space out a lot? Very much so. What people have changed your life for the better? My parents, my psychiatrist, a PHP therapist, Sara, debatably Jason... Have you ever had any kind of dangerous addiction? What’s this addiction? Caffeine, I guess. Are your parents still married, divorced, or split up? Like this decision? They're divorced, and while it sucks for your parents to split up, it's a decision that I definitely approve of given all they ever did was fight when I was growing up. Them staying together would've been very destructive. Have you ever heard of Hollywood Undead? Do you like them? Well yeah, and I like a large number of songs to where I'd consider myself a fan. I actually had a shirt in high school. Has anyone ever called you a coward before? Who called you that? I don't believe so. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? Honestly, yes. Like he's done dumb shit, but has more than sufficiently apologized for it in my opinion and changed his behavior for the better. I also - astonishingly - like his music quite a bit. As well, his work ethic is fucking INCREDIBLE, like extremely admirable. Has your grandmother ever made you anything? Not including cookies. I don't think so. I don't even think she ever liked me. Do you disgust anyone? Did they tell you that? Why is this, anyways? Not that I know of. When was the last time you cried, and why (if you want to share)? I don't remember, actually. Probably just about life. Who was the last person who was rude to you? *shrug* Do you have a relationship with God? lol no, and even if I believed in him, I wouldn't have a remotely decent opinion of that entity. Is weed legal in your state? No. Have you ever thrown up in class? In kindergarten, yes. What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? As a kid, being a girl, I was so embarrassed by liking Pokemon. Now, I am literally wearing an Eeveelutions shirt and went out in public lmao. I couldn't care less about loving them cuties. Have you ever walked outside in below zero weather? No; I've never experienced those temperatures. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes, but I was sitting down. I would be WAY too scared of dropping a baby otherwise. Are a ton of your Facebook friends getting married and having kids now? I legitimately think most of my friends on there already have kids and/or are married/engaged. It's triggering sometimes and was a massive motivator for me taking a break from there. What’s something you believe in that most people don’t? So uh, I hope this doesn't sound insensitive given how it just passed, but I 100% believe the U.S. government was to some extent involved in 9/11. There is an incredible amount of evidence when you do the research. Is there anyone who’s dear in your heart who’s going down the wrong path? I worry about one of my good friends quite a bit. She is horribly addicted to pot (like, she admits it) in a state where it's not legal, and I'm concerned she'll face legal repercussions eventually. She also dates an absolute lowlife asshole, but they've been together for a very long time, and I just worry about how that might damage her later down the road. Do you get enough sleep? God, it never feels like it. What’s something you wish you would have known sooner? That college wouldn't work for me. Like, I dropped out of three. I do NOT want to know the debt I'm in. What’s the next big project you plan to start? Idk. Possibly something for Girt's birthday because Mom really pissed me off and doesn't want to spend *any*thing to help me get something for him. Is that bad on my end? Like she pointed out he knows I don't work, but like... come on. He's my bf, one of my greatest friends ever, and you can't spare anything? I really don't know if that's selfish or not; it's just that if I get him nothing, I will feel like ACTUAL garbage. So making something may just be my only option. I just dunno what... Do you think you were cute in your baby pictures? omg yes, idk what happened Do you remember pre-school? A lot of it, yes. My long-term memory is pretty damn amazing. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? Yes. Does your town have a farmer’s market? I think so? Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pokemon GO, lol. How old were you when you met your current best friend? Around 11. What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Photography is coming real fuckin close. I've been trying to go somewhere with that for YEARS. Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? Physically read. I think my attention would stray listening to an audiobook. Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? It's possible, idk. I had a doctor's appointment today that absolutely slaughtered my mood, so I feel fucking horrific, but Girt is also coming over today, and I'm sure he'll cheer me up. I won't see him tomorrow, so that's a bummer. With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Sara. What is the last thing you complained about? It's hot as shit outside. Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? 13 Reasons Why. What was the last topic that you ranted about? Anti-vax bullshit. Who is the most sensitive person that you know? Bitch, me. Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? No. What did you do last Halloween? Literally nothing on the actual holiday. :/ Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real… just once? ... To get out of school, yes. :x What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I am still positively livid about Texas' "heartbeat bill." Fuck that place and fuck that law. What is one insecurity you have about your body? Um, everything???? What is one part of your body that you are proud of? Nothing????

[kumeko]

A/N: For Nameless, the loveless zine! I haven’t thought of this series for years and I feel very nostalgic just writing this.

…

…

…

…

i.

It was instinctive, the way Soubi’s hand reached into his pocket, his fingers curling over the cool plastic. Entirely habitual and he almost pulled it out before remembering that he was sitting on a bench in the middle of a children’s park. There was a time when that wouldn’t have been a problem, when he would have lit his cigarette and felt the bitter sting of nicotine. That time wasn’t now. Soubi wasn’t sure what had changed, just as it did, and he eyed the lone straggler on the swings balefully. In the late evening, most of the kids had left for dinner, leaving behind the odd loner, and destroying any chance of a smoke break.

 Oh well, Yuiko would be here any moment anyways. Pulling out his phone, Soubi checked the time. 7:20. She should be here in another five minutes. What for, he wasn’t sure. All of her texts asking him to meet her were surprisingly evasive, only confirming the time, the place, and that he couldn’t forget to come. Maybe that was why she hadn’t called him to arrange this; Yuiko was a terrible liar and the second she’d opened her mouth, he would have known what this was all about.

Still, for the life of him, Soubi couldn’t figure out what Yuiko wanted. Even more so than most children her age, she was extremely up front about her emotions. It was oddly refreshing, compared to the Zeros or even Ritsuka; Soubi couldn’t remember the last time he’d met someone so guileless. Her teacher, perhaps, but he made it a point to avoid her.

 “Soubi!” A breathless, high-pitched voice cut through his thoughts and Soubi looked up in time to catch Yuiko as she dashed through the park toward him. Her comfy t-shirt and cotton shorts were grass stained and small twigs and leaves tangled in her long hair. Even her backpack looked dirty and he wondered idly if she’d ran through a forest to get here. “I’m sorry, I’m late—”

 “You’re not,” he interrupted, motioning to her to take a breath before continuing. There were already tears in her eyes and he didn’t want to start the conversation with her bawling.

 “I’m not?” Surprised, Yuiko pulled out her phone and gasped. “I’m not!”

 Soubi resisted the urge to smile. Maybe it was the naivete. He wasn’t used to interacting with someone like her. Patiently, he waited for her to calm down before asking, “What do you need?”

 “Need?” Yuiko fidgeted in front of him, her fingers playing with the hem of her shirt. She scuffed a shoe along the ground. “It’s not…I don’t…um…”

 “You?” he prodded, watching as her ears flattened slightly as she grew more and more nervous. Ritsuka’s ears and tail were like that too, displaying his feelings clearly for all to see. It was cute. Had he ever been this cute as a child? He couldn’t remember, but he doubted it.

 “I…” Yuiko paused again, her tail twitching anxiously as her eyes flickered from the ground to him and the back again. Unslinging her backpack, she held it tightly before taking a deep breath. “You…” She breathed in once more, long and slow, before hurriedly shoving her backpack at him. “This is for you!”

 What was? Soubi wondered, his blank expression stiffening as he studied the offering. Was it the bag or something in the bag? Both questions lay heavy on his tongue, unable to decide which one to utter.

 Before he uttered a word, Yuiko realized what she was doing and blushed an even brighter shade of red. “O-one second!” She quickly unzipped the bag and rummaged inside. Finding her prize, she yanked it out and pressed it into his hands. “For you,” she mumbled, looking away, tears glistening once more in her eyes.

 Soubi looked down at the springing object in his hands. It was an oddly-small flower wreath, a clumsy looking thing with stems sticking out together here and there. Despite that, it still held together surprisingly well. It wasn’t something he needed, but he nodded his thanks all the same. “A wreath.”

 “A flower crown,” Yuiko corrected, rubbing her eyes and looking at him once more. She pointed to her head. “You put it on.”

 “I see.” Soubi rotated the wreath in his hands, feeling utterly bemused. He was getting used to the antics of children now, with days spent with the Zeros or Ritsuka teaching him more than he’d ever expected. Somehow, the utter randomness of children surprised him. “That makes more sense.”

 “Yeah.” Yuiko glanced around before clearing her throat. Before Soubi could react, she shouted, “Happy Birthday!”

 The one kid in the playground perked his ears, glancing curiously at them. Soubi was only half-conscious of that. Instead, he stared blankly at Yuiko. “Birthday,” he repeated softly, not sure which was more surprising—someone remembering it or him uttering the word.

 Yuiko nodded, pushing her two index fingers against one another as she looked away. “I know it’s not a good gift, but I only found out today and it was the best thing I could make.”

 Well, that explained the grass stains. Soubi glanced at her hands, at the dirt on her nails and the roughness of her palms. She must have started immediately after class to get it done on time. Plopping the crown on his head, he nodded approvingly. “A little small but it fits.”

 “You look pretty,” Yuiko gushed, immediately cheering up. “You like it?”

 This time, he couldn’t stop his smile. “Yeah.”

 -x-

 ii.

Love was hard. Yayoi had read every romance book in the library and then stolen one or two from his mother’s secret stash, and this was the one lesson he’d learned from them all. Love was hard. Usually, there was an evil sheriff or hitman or villainous ex that appeared, coming between two star-crossed lovers.

 Yayoi would argue that sitting on a bench with his rival while waiting for his crush to arrive was equally as hard. He glanced to his right. As usual, Ritsuka looked entirely unperturbed, as though they weren’t sitting on a bench on opposite sides, the space between them too big for Yuiko to fit entirely. When she came back from the cafeteria, several bags of bread in hand, and sat down, she would force them to come closer. And they would, but not until she came back.

 It was a dance they went through every lunch. While Yayoi could say that Ritsuka wasn’t only a rival, they weren’t exactly friends either. He was Yuiko’s friend more than he was Yayoi’s, and that was something he was entirely fine with. There wasn’t a single romance story for the rival and the hero became friends. Still. Yayoi glanced again at Ritsuka. Would it kill the other boy to look at least uncomfortable? Then again, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen Ritsuka as anything other than collected. The boy had swept in like a fierce gale, throwing Yayoi’s life into disarray, and never looked the worse for wear for it.

 “Are you fine with this?” Yayoi asked, unable to stop the words spilling out of his mouth.

 Surprised, Ritsuka turned to him. “Fine with what?”

 Yayoi tensed, his neck warm as he realized he didn’t know where he planned to take this conversation. Hell, he didn’t even know what he meant by the question. Fine with the triangle, fine with the strange number of transfer students, fine with his mother—there were so many ways to take a single question. His ears flattened as he thought about it before finally gesturing at the space between them. “With all of this?”

 “You don’t like me, right?” Ritsuka shrugged, leaning back into the bench and staring at the sky. “It’s cool.”

 “That’s not true,” Yayoi blurted, his mouth moving before his mind could catch up. His hands itched to cover his mouth, to stop these treacherous words from escaping his throat. In romance, the hero defeated the rivals, winning the heroine’s hand. They didn’t start to like their rivals, didn’t start to think of them as friends.

 Yayoi wondered, not for the first time, if he wasn’t the hero and was just another doomed suitor.

 “It’s not?” Ritsuka looked at him, really looked at him, his eyes wide and mouth agape. “Really?”

 It was too late to shove the words back now and whether he liked it or not, Yayoi had meant them. Begrudgingly as it was, he did consider Ritsuka to be his friend. “Yeah.” He paused, steeling himself before pulling out a slightly crumpled envelope from his pocket. “Here.”

 Ritsuka glanced at the envelope before gingerly picking it up. “What’s it for?”

 “My birthday party.” Yayoi coughed, looking away. “You can come if you want.”

 If he had turned around, he would have seen a pleased smile and red cheeks, a boy beside himself with joy. But he didn’t, so Yayoi could only hope that Ritsuka’s ‘Yes’ was an honest one.

 -x-

 iii.

Kio was drunk. He knew that, from the way his fingertips buzzed to the tingle up his spine. His mouth was dry, his head pounded, and tomorrow morning he would be a mess of regrets. He was so drunk, he had gone from knowing he was drunk to denying it to knowing it once more.

 Needless to say, climbing the last set of stairs to his apartment was perhaps the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his life. And that included getting kidnapped and beaten by a strange pair of Soubi’s ex-classmates. At least, he thought they were—Soubi had refused to explain the matter further and Kio was too afraid to ask. Their friendship had always felt delicate and while Soubi was opening up more now, he wasn’t sure what boundaries were still standing and which he could dance right past.

 That was perhaps the only reason he had accepted Soubi’s utter rejection of joining in for some birthday drinks. Well, that and the fact that Kio had asked at least ten times to no avail. If Soubi didn’t want to celebrate Kio getting one year closer to death, well, that was on him. It wasn’t like he had good taste in the first place, as evidenced by Seimei’s entire existence.

 “Woah!” Kio mumbled as he almost tripped over a step. Clutching the guard rail, he panted heavily and tried to regain his bearings. Were stairs supposed to be this hard? Was he out of shape? Next time, he was getting a ground-floor apartment. There would be none of this exercise nonsense.

 Glancing behind him, he realized he was halfway there. Just a little more, and he could dive into his futon and pass out. Future him would probably wish he’d changed first, but that was future, sober him’s problem. Drunk Kio only had one mission, and that was to get to bed. Finally reaching his door, he leaned against it and sighed. Almost there.

 His keys jangled as he tried to find the right one. As usual, it was the last one he tried. While the door swung open silently, Kio heard a thud. Looking down, he stared at a square package at his feet. Had that always been there? God, he was so drunk. He hadn’t even noticed that there had been something at his door. Crouching, he stared at it. It looked like a canvas. His fingers brushed against the slim sides. No, it had to be a canvas; he worked with them day in and day out and his body had memorized the weight and shape of the various sizes they came in.

 Mystified, he clumsily picked it up and stumbled into his apartment. Was it a delayed assignment? No, it was wrapped in the plainest wrapping paper that existed. A gift then, but there was no note, no card, no nothing. It could be for his neighbour, for all he knew. Eagerly, he tore through the flimsy wrapping. Black paint slowly appeared, followed by splashes of blue and yellow, before he finally revealed a butterfly painting.

 No, not just any butterfly painting—it was a remake of the one Soubi had made when they’d first met. Kio covered his mouth, giddy. The bastard cared. He had always known that, but it was one thing to believe it, another to find proof. Soubi cared.

 Suddenly, sleep was the last thing on his mind. Pulling out his phone, he drunk-dialed his friend. Future him would probably regret this too, but that was for future him to care about.

 Current him had to make sure Soubi knew exactly how happy he was.

 -x-

iv.

“Here.”

 Surprised by the unexpected hand thrust in her face, Yuiko looked down from Youji’s smug expression, following his arm until she was staring cross-eyed at the small, rectangular paper in his hand. Scrawled messily on the white page was Badminton tournament. She squinted, not sure if she was reading it right, before looking back at him. “Thanks?’

 Next to Youji, Natuso sighed, looking utterly unimpressed. There was no one else in the classroom, but she knew that even if there were, his next words would have remained the same. The twins never changed what they said no matter who was around, and Yuiko envied that. “I know, I know, this is a five-year-old’s idea of a gift.”

 “Hey!” Ears flattened, brow furrowed, Youji glared at his twin and growled, “This is a good gift.”

 “Is it?” Natsuo snorted in disbelief. He ran a hand through his hair and scornfully added, “You just want to beat her at badminton. That has nothing to do with her at all. You’re supposed to think of the other person, stupid.”

 “Gift?” Yuiko interrupted, cutting through the brewing argument. She gently pried the voucher from Youji’s hand, staring at it curiously. It was ridiculously plain, without even an attempt at a border or sparkles or any decoration of any sort. He must have spent five minutes on it, max, before giving it to her.

 “For your birthday, duh,” Youji grumbled, but despite his tone, he was looking away. His ears twitched slightly, an embarrassed expression on his face. “You’re not getting anything better, no matter how you cry.”

 Yuiko didn’t listen, instead looking at the paper once more. A birthday gift. Certainly not one she wanted—she liked playing badminton, sure, but gifts were supposed to be special things. Things you can’t get otherwise, and they would always be able to play badminton.

 Yet it was a gift from Youji. She hadn’t expected this, not in the least. If anything, she’d thought the twins hadn’t liked her that much.

 A gift. For her.

 Smiling broadly, she hugged Youji tightly. “Thanks!”

 Natsuo’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

-x-

v.

“Let’s hang out at my house,” Yuiko demanded, standing in front of Ritsuka’s desk. Well, it was as close to a demand as she could get, her cheeks dusted red and her voice rising an octave with each word. “Please?”

 Ritsuka was used to the beeline she made as soon as the bell rang to his desk, as though if she didn’t catch him immediately he’d slip away with the breeze. To be honest, with all that was happening around him, sometimes that was the case—between Soubi, the fights, and hunting for clues, it was sometimes hard for him to find time for his friends.

 Still, this was more direct than Yuiko usually was. He stared at her for a moment, watching as her face turned redder and redder as he kept silent. Well, it wasn’t a bad thing if she was getting more confident. Maybe one day she’d be able to fight those bullies away herself.

 Flustered, Yuiko pressed, “I really want—”

 “Sure,” he agreed, getting up.

 “—you to come…” Yuiko trailed off, a blank expression on her face before she realized what was happening. Surprised, she watched as he headed to the door. “Really?”

 “Yeah, let’s go.” Ritsuka grinned as she scrambled to grab her bag and coat. “What, you weren’t ready?”

 “Don’t tease me!” she wailed, almost tripping over a chair in her haste to get out. Stray hairs escaped her usually neat pigtails and she looked like she’d run a marathon and not just left a classroom.

 “Don’t make it so easy,” he countered, laughing as they slipped into an easy banter on their way home. It was strange. Truly strange. A year ago, even a few months ago, he could never have imagined this. Friends? Laughing? Smiling? A place that he could call his? All of them had been so far beyond his imagination that he couldn’t even picture it.

 Yet, here he was, walking home with someone as thought it was the norm. His mother and brother were the furthest thoughts from his mind, his focus instead entirely on the all-too red girl next to him. His best friend, possibly, but Ritsuka hadn’t yet mustered the courage to ask. Yuiko’s ears twitched nervously, her fingers pressing against one another, and her words ran into one another as though she was desperately trying to say something, anything. Clearly, she was up to something.

 “What’re you hiding?” he asked and that too was new. Knowing someone well enough to tell when they were lying. It was a permanence he hadn’t expected.

 “Whaat?” Yuiko yelped, her complexion turning even redder, if possible. Ritsuka imagined he could find every shade of red if he hung around her long enough. It was a pleasing thought. Shaking her head rapidly, she stuttered, “N-nothing, I’m just…Why do you think that?”

 “Hmmm?” It was tempting to push her even further. Yuiko was a terrible liar, which was a relief when compared to the Soubi’s and Seimei’s in his life. Everyone else was too good at hiding and he liked this feeling of having an upper hand for once. Still, whatever she was planning couldn’t be terrible, and it wouldn’t be bad to have a nice surprise for once. “Fine, keep your secrets.”

 “There aren’t any!” she shouted, her voice giving her away yet again.

 Ritsuka laughed. His tail swayed lazily as he wondered just what he should expect. Knowing Yuiko, it had to be something simple. Maybe a movie or a game. They could get Soubi to come over after and cook something too. Or invite Yayoi to play with them, or the Zero’s—and Ritsuka had a lot of people in his life these days. A lot of friends.

 “OK! WE’RE HOME!” Yuiko announced loudly as she stood in front of her door, shaking her keys slightly before slipping them in.

 Perplexed, Ritsuka followed her in through the door. Were her parents home? Was that why she was talking like—

 “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

 The loud shout jolted him out of his thoughts and Ritsuka’s jaw dropped as confetti rained through the hair. Standing in Yuiko’s living room were all of the people he’d been thinking of, and then some—Osamu and his teacher stood amongst the crowd.

 “Happy birthday!” Yuiko chimed in, looking at him eagerly.

 A surprise party. He would never have imagined that either, not even a few hours ago, but Ritsuka was finding that wasn’t a bad thing.

  The future, oddly enough, was something to look forward to.

[yamayamawrites]

This December

A/N: Hi friends! Happy (almost) December! As a treat this year, I decided to write a short fic (and by short, I do mean around 40k - so not terribly short) about the Dekusquad spending a week at a winter cabin! The first chapter will officially go up on my AO3 page (you can find it here!) tomorrow, with updates coming out every Tuesday/Friday for the next 4 weeks, but I decided to post a sneak preview of chapter 1 here early!! Hope you enjoy!

Tuesday, December 01, 20XX

It’s been four years since Izuku graduated from U.A. Four years, and he’s moved three times since then – once, to an agency based in Kyoto, where he lived the longest. He worked many of the smaller cases there, the more personal ones – stopping a villain who’d kidnapped a mother’s newborn; keeping a local corner store from being robbed; catching a stray piece of scrap metal dropped from a crane near a construction site, and saving two children playing tag. He accredits most of his fame to Kyoto, and though it’s certainly not a small city, it feels small when he moves two years later to Hiroshima.

It’s in Hiroshima that Izuku takes on his first major case – ends up working beside Eijirou in the process, and both of them (already well-established and in the high twenties in hero rankings) skyrocket to the top ten after busting the case wide open. It’s a child trafficking ring, where children are abducted and sold for their Quirks. And, just following this case, he has perhaps a hundred offers to other agencies that will pay better or get more exposure. After all, Midoriya Izuku is just past twenty and he’s ranked number four, below Suneater and Lemillion from U.A., and, yet to be overthrown at number one, Endeavor. And while he still hasn’t learned Hiroshima’s roads, nor has he unpacked all his boxes yet, he uproots once more, and heads for Tokyo.

The biggest reason he leaves is because of the agency. Tokyo is crawling with them – agencies nearly on every block – but they’re small, full of sidekicks who haven’t broken one hundred yet, even. But there’s one agency in particular whose letter stands out amongst the rest, because the signature on the offer letter is his old friend Hitoshi’s, and Hitoshi knows just whose names to drop to garner Izuku’s attention – “You would be working side by side with Uravity and Ingenium, and perhaps partnering with Shouto and Ground Zero.”

And now, almost seven months since he’s become acquainted with the Tokyo agency, has climbed past Suneater in the latest ranking, he drums his fingers on Ochaco’s office door. She pops her head up from behind her monitor, still wearing her hero costume from her patrol while she types up a final report before lunch. “Oh!” she says, as though she isn’t expecting Izuku, despite the fact that they always go to lunch together on Tuesdays.

“Ready to go?” Izuku asks, hanging off Ochaco’s door, now. “Tenya coming today, too?”

“Tenya got wrapped up in a petty theft case,” Ochaco rolls her eyes. “Seriously. Who tries to steal a dozen watches in the middle of the morning?”

“People who don’t know Tenya exists?” Izuku shrugs, and Ochaco laughs, pushes herself away from her desk on her rolling chair and hops up. “I need to stop and grab my key card before we go. Hold on.”

Ochaco trails after Izuku down the hall to his office, one with arguably the best view in the building. It overlooks the rest of the city, some of the smaller agencies the size of peanuts from way up here. His door is ajar when he walks up, light still on. Along the right wall is a photograph – himself, at graduation, with Ochaco and Tenya to his left, and Shouto to his right. Behind all of them is All Might, having managed his heroic form just for the click of a camera. They all wear navy graduation gowns, though Izuku’s is unzipped and reveals his hero costume underneath. Shouto’s hair is swept back from his face, his graduation cap in his hands, and he’s actually smiling – Izuku thinks it may be the only photograph in his entire collection of pictures of Shouto where he isn’t frowning. And Ochaco and Tenya are leaning into each other, smiles bright and happy, caps on and hands clasped together.

“Can’t believe you still have this hanging in here,” Ochaco muses as she steps into the room, wandering directly to the photograph.

Izuku spares it a second glance before going to his desk and rooting through the drawers for his key card to get back into the building. “It’s my favorite,” he says with a defensive huff, and Ochaco laughs.

“It’s not a bad thing,” she says. “It’s just that my forehead looks huge in this.”

“Shut up,” Izuku chides, “you look fine. You look great, even!”

“I think you hung this one because Shouto is in it,” Ochaco jeers, because she knows it will get a reaction out of Izuku. And it does; Izuku, who had bent down to check under his desk for the key card, thuds his head on the bottom side of it when he tries to sit up too quickly.

“Th-that isn’t it!” Izuku huffs, rubbing his head. “Stop with that, you know I’m over it.”

“How come you’ve been waiting for the opportunity to work a case with him, then?” Ochaco says, and she sounds innocent, but when Izuku looks over he sees mischief in her eyes, the pure evil of a friend who’s been given explicit information to a secret crush that maybe shouldn’t have been told.

“Is it a crime to want to work alongside a friend?” Izuku says back defensively, still searching for his key card. Eventually he finds it atop a stack of reports he’s yet to take down to the accounting department – the longer he waits, the longer it’ll be until his next paycheck, but seriously, he makes way too much as it is.

“Well, no,” Ochaco says, crossing the room and perching herself on Izuku’s cluttered desk. “I mean, that’s how you ended up working here.”

“Exactly,” Izuku says as a means of ending the conversation, grabbing his wallet off his desk as well (he’d forgotten that, too, it seems) and heading for the door. Ochaco follows after him, realizes he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, and thankfully, after being best friends for almost a decade now, she respects that.

The walk down the road to their usual noodle shop is cold. The first snow hit about a week ago, and the temperature has warmed enough and cooled again since then to freeze mounds of slush at the lip of the roads. The sidewalk is clear of snow, busy despite the cold weather with people walking around downtown.

When they step inside the noodle shop, the warmth floods their cheeks and hands. They’re regulars here, and the waitress seats them as though they aren’t the number three and number sixteen heroes – after all, she gets to have this experience every Tuesday. She does, however, comment on Izuku’s latest search-and-rescue, says she’s glad someone like him was there. And it’s the comments like these that always make Izuku proud of his profession, the ones where he’s not being gushed over for his abs or his good looks (though those still make him blush); it’s the gratitude that Izuku’s presence has made a difference on the scene of a crime, or natural disaster, or whatever the occasion. It’s knowing people are glad Izuku was there.

“So,” Ochaco stretches back in her chair after she finishes her noodles. “Tenya and I have been thinking about taking a vacation.”

“Oh?” Izuku says, folding his hands in front of him on the table. He’d finished his noodles a few minutes ago.

“Yeah,” Ochaco hums, twirling her weightless chopsticks around her fingers idly while she speaks. “We were kind of thinking of inviting a few old friends from U.A. to come with.”

“Oh, so not like a romantic getaway then?” Izuku tilts his head to the side, curious. Ochaco and Tenya have been together since their second year of high school, and vacations for the just two of them aren’t anywhere near uncommon.

“More like a, um, reunion?” Ochaco says, dropping the chopsticks now. “What do you think, Izuku? Are you in?”

Izuku blanches. Somehow, even with Ochaco suggesting friends from U.A. accompany them on their vacation, he hadn’t considered that might mean him. Which is absurd, because the three of them have been best friends since high school began – they even chatted on the phone all the time when Izuku was in Kyoto and Hiroshima. “Of course,” he says after he scoops his jaw up from where it dropped, and Ochaco laughs.

“You seriously thought I wouldn’t extend the invitation to you?”

“That’s not what—”

“Come on, Deku,” she giggles, rolling her eyes. “You can’t lie to me. I know all.”

He laughs, shakes his head. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting it, sorry.”

“Well, you’re obviously the first person on the guest list. Tenya and I have already found a place, too! There’s this beautiful vacation lodge for rent on the edge of the Kiso Mountain chain.”

“That’s almost four hours from here,” Izuku says, suddenly a bit afraid of what might happen being so far from Tokyo. “What if a big villain or something finds out we’re all gone on vacation?”

“You act like our class from high school are the only competent heroes around anymore,” Ochaco rolls her eyes. “C’mon, if anything happened Suneater and Lemillion alone could take them, not to mention Nejire-chan and that wind hero guy.”

Izuku exhales, forcing himself to nod and agree. “I guess you’re right,” he sighs, his smile a tad nervous still.

“What, worried the public will forget about their favorite hero Deku after a week?” Ochaco reaches across the table and pokes at Izuku’s cheek. “Have some faith! And learn to take a vacation! Seriously, when’s the last time you took a break? Never?”

“Never,” Izuku affirms, though in the past he’s been proud of the fact; now he’s a little embarrassed. “How much would I owe you?”

But Ochaco waves off the question, and she grabs for the bill on the table – Izuku doesn’t even remember the waitress dropping it off. “You know more than any of us that money isn’t a factor,” she says, shrugging. “Tenya and I can cover it.”

“Shut up,” Izuku rolls his eyes. “You guys shouldn’t have to pay for everything. At least let me cover gas and groceries?”

It takes a bit of coaxing, but eventually Izuku convinces Ochaco to let him cover grocery costs; the two of them make plans to visit the grocery store together the night before they leave. Ochaco doesn’t reveal the guest list, nor does Izuku even think to ask about it until after they’re walking back to the office, bumping shoulders and laughing over inside jokes from their high school days. And as they ascend the staircase side by side, Izuku finally does ask, and Ochaco laughs, and that’s the most of an answer he gets.

[szopenhauer]

Grossest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom? pee, poop and blood mixed with vomit all over the place Do you consider your family dysfunctional? all families are toxic, more or less Do you hate people who act like everything is fine when its not? I hate those people, they both want you to leave them alone and guess, they’re annoyed with the fact you wanna know as much as you not caring about them, never satisfied, then blame everybody else, how are we supposed to act if we feel you don’t trust us enough to tell the truth? it’s your own fault! we also have problems, not everything’s about you, if you prefer to kill yourself than speak up, that’s your choice but it means you’re a coward, I’m tired of that behavior

Ever had a body piercing ripped out? never had a piercing so I’m lucky not to be bullied this way

Can you sew/croshet/knit? I know basics but I have no patience so it’s not my hobby Do you put the cap back on the toothpaste after using it? of course :o  Have you shot off a firework? never, it’s dangerous, I prefer to look and from afar  Are you offended when you see women breast feeding? no

Do you hate when people keep things from you? if we’re close then sure Can you multitask? I can XD

*działam na dwa fronty, boobs, albo na tyłach* Are you too sensitive? hypersensitive Who wears the pants in the relationship? who wears the socks and cowboy hat tho?

If you were given three things to make you happy, what would these be? health, money and no worries How would you rank the following in importance: family, career, love life? family and love life then career as I’m not interested in it 

Which would you prefer: having a baby without a partner or a partner without a baby? partner without a baby  but tbh it would be better to raise a baby without a partner if I decided to have a kid (I don’t want children though) as there wouldn’t be disagreements on how to nor risk of arguments and then divorce in general which would be super hard for the little one 

Do you think God is real, and why? sigh...

Do you believe in giving people second chances, and why? rarely as it’s like putting your hand into fire hoping it will be cold this time, people usually change for worse - not better Do you think people fall in love because the right person has arrived, or because the time is right (regardless of whom the person is that they fall in love with)? because of other reasons usually as I wouldn’t call their relationships LOVE, they’re just desperate, scared of being lonely How important is trust in a relationship? I don’t think I can trust someone completely but still it’s very important to me to trust them as much as I am capable to - if I can’t trust them at all then it won’t work  How do you feel about infidelity? it makes people feel like they’re not enough and they also get paranoid later, it causes trauma, person who was cheated on will always be afraid to trust another human being in case someone “better” will show up, nobody is perfect but it’s better if you break up than do smth romantic or sexual behind your partner’s back, nobody deserves it, if you can’t be with one person only then either do open relationships or polyamory or just don’t commit to anyone - one night stands or something - infidelity is caused by wanting more and being impulsive, liking adrenaline, risky behavior, you are some sort of an abuser, not just a liar, because you’re hurting someone who’s supposed to be closest to you, intoxication isn’t an excuse, if you can’t keep it in your pants when you’re drunk then don’t drink too much or publicly - simple as that, love is a promise and you’re breaking it for fun, someone said today that it’s like checking if another branch will snap while still holding another - sounds careful but that’s not the point - it’s just that you should sit on it (stability) instead of jumping trees after you already commited to one of them and made a nest on it, you will break all of the branches (other people) and you will end up on the ground anyway - alone, who wants to be with a cheater? honestly - rapist will always stay rapist even if he won’t rape again and so is the cheating person - they might change but fear will always be a part of their partner for sure, dating is like a competition for many, trying until you find the best match, always looking around, never warming up to anyone in case there’s a better opportunity, constant game that make us anxious, showing off you’re the best player among all and... you actually are a player in both of this word’s definitions, sadly What quality in a person do you fall in love with? it’s not a single separate thing but someone whole I believe, I tried to explain that to myself but it’s very hard, there are some traits I might like more, go for, see as necessities but I’m unable to list them for now - maybe later/someday Do you find it difficult to admit that you are wrong, and why? I am - I don’t care about winning, I want truth and justice, I prefer to be right but without admitting I’m wrong that can’t happen Which would you prefer in a romantic partner: a dreamer or an achiever? dreamer, I dislike overly ambitious and workaholic people  What do you think are the two things that prevent people from realizing their dreams? money issues and health problems or time

So the world is dying to know the longest you’ve ever been on an airplane. 0 hours

Speaking of airplanes, can you sleep on them easily or no? no idea

So if I were to touch the place you last itched, would it be awkward? sorta

Have you ever come close to drowning? it was close in my opinion

Is the window in this room currently open or closed? closed

Is your phone fully charged right now? it is indeed

If you gave yourself a symbol (ex: star) to represent you, it would be…? not sure

Combine your two favorite animals. What kind of animal do you get? raccoon + elephant?

If I gave you a box of chocolates, which would you hope to get? I prefer something else than a box of chocolates

Have you ever caught your clothes on fire before? omg luckily not 

Are you any good at improv? been told

Do you have any special handshakes with friends? I don’t have... friends :x

Are you better at writing fiction or nonfiction? I’m good at both but I prefer fiction

How many times does the letter ’t’ occur in your full name? once

Last song you heard? Crystal Castles - Suffocation Reason you last threw up? meds withdrawal How many pairs of flip flops do you own? zero Do you ever pick up pennies for good luck? I pick up all coins that I find and give them to my dad Something you wear all the time that you’d feel naked without? panties

If you have younger siblings, how old were you when your siblings were born? not applicable Would you ever pick up gum from the ground and eat it? hell no Have you ever gotten stitches? nope

Think back to the last thing you drank. Did you drink it using a straw? I didn’t Is the sun shining? it’s almost midnight  Where did you go today? shopping Have you ever taken a survey while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? I don’t drink or take illegal drugs Where will you be in an hour? in my bed Is anyone irritating you? not atm unless I can count myself  Have your parents ever threatened to throw your things away because your room was messy? sorta Is your shirt pink? it’s mostly white Are you going to do more surveys? it’s late and I’m commited to finish this one Who is the most complicated person in your life right now? ... me? Have you ever video chatted with someone you met online? yep Are you hungry or thirsty right now? thirsty Do you own a pair of gumboots? eww, gross Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? I might  Do you rate people’s attractiveness on a scale of 1-10? rating 1-10 is very hard for me Is there anything that you could cry about right now? shitload of reasons When was the last time you used Facebook? today like every other day Do you have a PO Box or does your mail get sent straight to your house? our house How many vowels are in your street name? 4 Did you share baths with your siblings/cousins when you were a child? I did not Have you ever been a member of an online dating site?  couple Do you know what your neighbours even look like? obvi Do you put ketchup on your fries? yuk

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? uh oh I should check that in my photo album in pics from middle school 

Is your dream job attainable? they ain’t

Have you read a newspaper today? we don’t buy/read newspapers

Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? I’m done with school and am unemployed

Have you ever been to a drive-in theatre? no

Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? guitar

Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? camp

Do you live with your parents? still

Are there any embarrassing school pictures of you anywhere in your house? there are

What moment in your life have you been most scared? constantly now last half year

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? long story

Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I make them but barely ever

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? computer

Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? prefer them to cook for me 

How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? hope that this will happen soon 

Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? I need one

Have you ever ripped your pants in public? even recently 

Have you ever thought someone was talking to you, but it turned out they were on the phone? Did you play it off? possibly

Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? can we not talk about it?...

Who was the last person you slow danced with? my gf

Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? often, nothing as I’m disabled

Do you say ‘like’ a lot? used to

Do you scream out the answers while watching game shows on TV? at times I did

Do you ever go into photobooths? yay!

What bill do you hate paying the most? I’d hate paying rent as it’s idiotically high

What’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? everywhere can be romantic with a right person

What was your first car? none yet

Favorite guilty pleasure? personal

What celeb do you think resembles you best? basing on look? Cole Sprouse or Maisie Williams but with Juno Temple body

Who from high school would you like to run in to? hmm...

Start a new career or relationship? just get a job as I’m taken

Are any of your toes connected? I don’t have webbed toes

What was the last thing you dreamed about? running from the police... w klapkach

What color is your bedroom carpet? no carpet Have you ever had a black and white cat? all black Would you rather have an STD or share a bed with Michael Jackson? life chose for me and honestly this is probably the first time I’m happy about it Do you have any wallpaper in your house? I wish How many pairs of underwear do you own? lots of panties but not enough bras Who was your primary/elemantary school’s most popular girl? E.O. and A.M. Would you like to learn to play the harp? meh Are your feet ticklish? very and I hate that Do you have a black dog? it’s partially black Who has the prettiest toes, that you know of? feet are disgusting  What’s your least favorite season? winter

Do you enjoy walks? sure Can you roll your tongue? I can Would you eat a live spider for one million dollars? gimme Would you forgive someone for cheating? hard to tell Have you seen A Clockwork Orange? not interested Do you like to read? occasionally re you a grumpy person? often Do you like cotton candy? never tried and don’t wanna Rap or pop? pop What’s the weirdest flavor of ice cream you’ve tried? rose, amazing! Love or lust? love Do you remember lyrics easily? am I the only one who don’t? :(