#i can live without a boy/girlfriend but christ
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banishedchildofeve · 5 months ago
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Christ died on the cross for you. For you. He did not die without fear, as the agony in the garden teaches us that Jesus’s human side came out so strong as he prayed to God, (Matthew 26:36-46).
He was scared, He was betrayed, He was suffering, and He did it for us. For you and for me.
It is easy to forget that Jesus was both fully human and both fully Divine, and to see him only as the Lord and Saviour, not as a man afraid of death.
We must remember that Jesus bled. He bled red blood like you and I do when we scrape our knee or rip the skin off from around our fingernails.
This month we do not wave crazy flags and dance almost naked on the streets of the cities in which we live, but we sit with The Word and we sit with Him and we pray.
To love all of His creation is to understand the falls and sins and mistakes we all make. Do not spread hate this month, or ever, yet teach about love. And what is love? God. (1 John 4:16).
Don’t waste energy by insulting people, as we were all created in His imagine and for us He died. He did not die so we would hate and judge, as only God can judge, (James 4:12).
Save people from sin by teaching them, treat them as your equal as you are not without your own burdens and your own sins.
Jesus wants to know us all. (Luke 15:4-7). He leaves the 99 for the 1, and what makes you think you are the only 1? No. The addict on the corner sitting beside his only possessions stuffed into a shopping trolley is the 1 lost sheep. The young girl wondering if maybe she’s a boy because she likes the colour blue and playing football is the 1 lost sheep. The man who cheated on his girlfriend and aches to undo the wrong of his decision and turn back time is the 1 lost sheep. The devoted attendee of Mass three times a week who spends up to an hour in prayer everyday is also still that 1 lost sheep, even if she knows God so well, for we all walk away sometimes, and we all doubt sometimes.
You are the 1 lost sheep. I am the 1 lost sheep. And in Christ we can be remade. Christ changes us. He moves us away from temptation, from adultery, from pride, from ignorance, from hate and from all the new ideals we are being force-fed by the media and those ‘in power.’
Do not be fooled. Christ is our power, and our provider. And to Him we owe everything.
Remember you and I are simply human, who make so many mistakes we cannot name even just those we have made solely this week.
Jesus has the power to make us all better, regardless of where we are now, who we are now or what we say we are now.
God bless you.
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cowgurrrl · 2 years ago
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Kiwi
Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader
Author’s note: as I was writing this, I proclaimed in the most southern accent, “now we’re cookin’ with peanut oil!” so do that with that
Summary: Joel goes home for a month. You stay in California to work. What could possibly go wrong? [3.8k]
Warnings: HEAVILY implied casting couch culture, brief allusion to creepy Hollywood producers, yearning, I can’t think of anything else!!
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Boarding my flight now.
Thanks for letting me know?
Well, I texted my mama to let her know, and she told me to text "that girlfriend of mine."
Doesn't sound like she's a huge fan.
She'll live.
You like the message and go to put your phone away when it buzzes again.
Is it weird that I kinda miss talking to you?
You smile and ignore your name being called over the intercom for another beat.
There are a lot of weird things about you, Joel Miller, but that one feels the most normal.
Text me when you land in Austin. Tell your mom I said hi.
You tuck your phone away, fighting the stupid smile on your face, and look up to see a pissed-off PA walking towards you. You apologize and half jog to the sound stage where Ryan is waiting. 
"The perfect punctual queen is late for once? Is the world going to shit?" He asks, and you slap his arm.
"People are allowed to be late."
"Does your lateness have anything to do with your boy toy?"
"Are you ever gonna call him by his name?" You ask. He senses that you're stalling his question and take a deep breath. "Joel is flying home to Texas today to visit family and get some work done. He'll be gone for a month."
"Oh, how will you ever survive?" He pouts, and you give him a look. The director calling for places stops you from responding, but you threaten him with the promise of picking up the conversation later. 
You don't ever get to tell him off for suggesting that you can't live without Joel being in the same state because of how late shooting goes. It might've been exhaustion, but you swore that you saw the sun starting to rise over the horizon by the time you finally got to leave. You knocked out a good chunk of the scenes you were still working on, which is great news, but you were mentally and physically drained. You slept most of the next day and missed Joel's messages from one whole time zone away. 
Landed.
Jesus Christ, I forgot how hot it is here.
My mama told me to ask you if you go to church since she doesn't believe me.
Attached: Two photos
You laugh as you sleepily scroll through his texts when you wake up mid-afternoon, feeling a little bit better from your long night. One of the pictures he sent is of him sitting in the cab of an old truck with the caption, "This was my first car. I can't convince my dad to sell the damn thing." The second is a blurry photo of a blue-looking weed on the side of the road surrounded by what looks like thousands of other blue weeds. "Turns out the state flower will literally grow anywhere besides in a pot in my house."
A) I'm glad you made it in safely. B) Isn't Texas the armpit of the South? C) I don't go to church, and I never have, but please feel free to lie to her. D) I can imagine a young, emo Joel Miller driving it now.
He reads your messages almost as soon as they deliver, and your screen lights up with his initials as he calls you. You yawn as you pick up and hear chatter in the background of wherever he is.
"First of all," he starts in a determined tone. "Texas ain't the armpit of the South. That's South Carolina." He says. He hasn't even been in Texas for forty-eight hours, and his accent is already thick again.
"My mistake," you laugh. "Did you have another point, or was that it?"
"Second of all, why d'you sound so tired?"
"Obviously, I was out partying with strange men all night."
"Really?" He asks, and you scoff.
"No, Joel. Filming went really late yesterday. I don't think I got home until six this morning."
"Sounds intense." 
"Not as intense as being interrogated by your mother," you say, and he hums. You hear someone laughing in the background and relish in the joy that you're not there to witness. He doesn't say anything for a minute, and you wonder if the line dropped, but when you pull the phone away from your face, you see the call is still active. "You really miss me so much that you called me just to sit on the line?"
"Maybe I did." He says. You take a deep breath and glance at the clock on your bedside table. He's two hours ahead. The sun must be setting by now, casting gorgeous rays onto his skin and making his eyes look amber. You wonder what Texas air does to Joel's soul. Maybe it soothes him like only an old baby blanket can. Maybe it makes him jumpy, like he's waiting for a clap of thunder that never comes. Maybe it makes him wonder why he left in the first place. You wish you could be there to read his expression and try to decipher what he's thinking. Someone calls Joel's name in the background, and you hear him shuffle with the phone, probably covering the microphone with his hand because the voices become muffled. When the phone comes back to his ear, he takes a deep breath, and you do the same. "I gotta go. Can I call you tomorrow?" He asks. 
"I'm counting on it, Miller." You say, and he laughs before mumbling a good night and hanging up the phone. 
After that, it becomes a habit for Joel to call you every day from Texas. He'll tell you different stories about his parents, how Austin has changed since he left, and update you on how the newest album is coming. He listens to you rant about work, how tired you are, and how frustrated you always get toward the end of a project. Sometimes the conversations last ten minutes, and sometimes they last hours. One night, you fell asleep on the phone with him because he was trying to get your opinion on a new song, but you had spent the day filming the scene of your character giving birth, which was tiring in its own right. He doesn't chide you for it. He just sends you a goodnight text and promises to call you the following night.
You hate to admit it, but production speeds up with Joel out of town. You end up wrapping your scenes a week early while Ryan still has another couple of days of filming his scenes. You'll probably get called back in for reshoots in a few months, but you feel really good about the work you put out there, and you finally get the chance to rest before Melanie sends you more scripts to read over. You send Joel a photo of your open laptop and a glass of wine next to it as the California sun sets over your balcony. 
Wrap parties are looking different as I get older.
Don't worry. I'm sure you'll still be a drunk, no matter how old.
Asshole.
Lashing out is the first sign of a bigger problem. I think I should call Melanie.
You laugh and search for the middle finger emoji when he sends you another text.
Paul got me on the list for some charity event this Saturday. Want to come with me? He said it'd probably be better to get some more dates in sooner rather than later.
The reminder that this is all fake shifts your entire mood. Of course, it's always lingering in your mind, but the texting didn't feel fake. The late-night calls didn't feel fake. He didn't feel fake. In fact, this is the first time you feel like you have a sliver of an idea as to who Joel Miller actually is when he isn't selling out world tours and recording platinum albums. It's stupid for you to feel this way. You have no reason to. No right. You take a deep breath and type out a message.
Sure.
On Friday, you drive to the airport to pick Joel up, creating an over-the-top scene of you running and jumping into his arms. His hat falls off his head and onto the ground as he catches you and kisses you sweetly. When he sets you back on the ground, he doesn't let you go right away. He lingers in your arms, and even though your feelings are still hurt and you're still trying to remind yourself that this is all fake, you let him. He smells like a detergent you don't recognize, but underneath that, you catch a whiff of the cologne he always wears. You rub his back as you hold him in the middle of the airport. 
"'S really good to see your face," he says into your neck, and you nod. 
"You too."
As you drive him home, he brings you up to speed on how the album is coming along and how different Texas was when he was there. You tell him about the last few days on set and an upcoming press junket in New York City. He lights up when you tell him the dates as you maneuver through LA traffic.
"I'm scheduled to go to New York to work with my sound mixer that same time. He's got his own studio out there now and knows more about it than I do," he says. "Maybe we can fly together? Make it look like a couple's trip?"
"Sure," you say. He furrows his eyebrows at your lack of excitement, and you scramble for something else to talk about. "How are your parents?" You ask. The rest of the ride to his house goes off without a hitch, and he kisses you again as he gets out of the car, both of you highly aware of the car full of paparazzi that's been tailing you since you left the airport. He promises to pick you up at five the following night, and you just nod. When you get home, you walk calmly into your house, lock the door, and scream.
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Joel's hand is in yours as you wait for your turn to walk the carpet. You're not sure why there's a red carpet at a charity event, but you're not about to throw a fit about it. Joel is wearing a sleek black suit, and you're matching with a long black dress. It's a low-cut backless dress, and a sparkly necklace your stylist picked out rests against your sternum. Joel taps your hand, and you look at him.
"You okay?" He asks. He looks worried as he steps between you and the wall of photographers waiting for you to stand and pose perfectly for their photos. "You've been quiet the past few days."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired. I think I'm still recovering from that last week of filming." 
"Are you sure you're not gettin' sick?" He asks, raising his other hand to your cheeks like he's checking your temperature. You smile half-heartedly and swat his hand away.
"I'm sure," you say. He tries to say more, but someone with a clipboard gets your attention and asks if you're ready. You nod and step onto the carpet, holding Joel's hand. The press erupts into a cloud of noise, startling you and making Joel laugh. You slap his chest and plaster on your rehearsed smile. You do your best to look where all the photographers are yelling at you to look and try different poses so they can get what they need. Everyone has to make a living, you suppose. You just wish their salary wasn't at the expense of your privacy. 
You get halfway down the carpet, taking pictures as a couple and some solo shots, before one of the photographers yells a new command. "Can we get a kiss?" He shouts. You pretend not to hear him and show off how the dress dips down your back, hugging you in all the right places. Still, the photographer is demanding a kiss, and now others have joined in too. It feels very "dance, monkey, dance," but you do your best to grit your teeth and smile. You catch Joel staring at you when you turn. It could be the flashing bulbs of cameras or how he's looking at you, but his eyes are sparkling, and the creases in the corners make you melt just a little. 
You hold out your hand for him to join you, which he happily obliges, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close enough for him to kiss your temple. "You alright?" He asks against your skin as you rest a hand on his chest and look up at him. You nod and glance between his eyes and his lips. The chorus of people practically begging for a picture of you two kissing is growing, and you raise your eyebrows at him. 
"You gonna keep them waiting, or are you gonna kiss me?" You ask, the playful lilt reserved for him returning to your voice. He gives you a look and smirks before leaning down a pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Everyone ooh's and aw's at you two, but you only care about how fast his heartbeat is against your palm. You want to blame it on the anxiety of walking the carpet and having people scream at you to do whatever they want. No, you have to blame it on that. There's no other option.
When you finally get inside, Joel gets you a glass of wine and a mixed drink for himself. The event is sweet and goes by quickly as you listen to people talk about something they're so passionate about. You decide to donate some money under an anonymous name once you are all excused to the reception, where there's food, more alcohol, and dancing. Joel leaves your side to catch up with some musician buddies, kissing your cheek before disappearing into the crowd. 
You nurse your wine as people you've never met start conversations with you. They're all polite and ask about your newest project, how LA's been treating you, and what's up next for you. You can't reveal much due to the NDA you signed at the beginning of shooting, but you tell them how excited you are for them to be able to see it and admit you've got some auditions lined up in the coming weeks. You've probably given the same answers to a handful of different people when you realize you're out of wine and Joel is still missing. You scan the room for him, but you can't find him. That's fine, you think. It's not like he's obligated to stick to my side at all times. He can have his own life.
You sigh as you belly up to the bar and order another glass of wine. You almost make it a double when someone taps your arm, making you turn. "I don't mean to interrupt, but you look exquisite tonight. I just thought you should know," ultra-famous producer Richard Pike tells you. You blink at him, your brain struggling to catch up with the fact that one of the men who's made the most award-winning films in the past twenty years just noticed you. "I know everyone has probably told you that tonight, but-"
"Oh, no. Thank you. I'm sorry. I was just a little starstruck right then," you apologize before holding your hand out to introduce yourself. He takes your hand and kisses the top of it. It's very dramatic, but this is Hollywood we're talking about. Your glass of wine arrives, and he pays the bartender before you can even reach for your purse. 
"Women as gorgeous as you should never have to pay for a drink. Ever." He says, and you laugh.
"I mean, I won't argue with you on that," you say, taking your glass in your hand to clink it against his glass of scotch. "Thank you, Mr. Pike."
"Please, call me Richard," he insists. "You just finished another movie, didn't you? You're a very busy girl."
"Yes, sir. I'm already looking for new projects to audition for." 
"Oh, I remember when I had actors audition. See, that was before I started writing roles for specific actors. Some people call that crude or playing favorites, but it hasn't failed me yet." 
"No, sir, it hasn't."
"So formal! Yes, sir! No, sir! Are you like this with everyone?" He asks as he takes a big swig of his drink.
"Just people who can cast me," you say. You're partially joking, but it's enough for him. He laughs, and his hand lands perfectly on your exposed back as he cackles loudly. You force yourself to laugh along with him and suddenly get that sinking feeling in your chest. Everybody seems to strategically look away from you two at the bar, and you want to be anywhere but here. 
"You know, I've seen a few of your movies," he says, getting close to your face like he's telling you a secret. "I think you've got a lot of potential. With just a little coaching and one��great role," his hand dips lower down your back, and you freeze. Ice water runs through your veins, and everything is screaming at you to run away, but your heels stay planted against the expensive hardwood. "We'll make an Oscar winner of you yet."
"Excuse me," a familiar drawl says behind you. You both turn and make eye contact with Joel. "May I steal my girlfriend for a dance? I promised her one on the way over." He asks, but he's already wrapping an arm around your waist, ready to pull you away. The hand on your back disappears and claps Joel on the shoulder.
"Of course! You take good care of this one!"
"Yes, sir," Joel says as he pulls you to the dance floor. Your heart is still beating in your throat, and you feel like you could cry, but Joel's looking at you with such kindness. You find safety in him as you wrap your arms around his neck and slowly sway with him, the soft material of his dress shirt calming you down. He waits until Pike is out of earshot to lean down to talk in your ear. "Now, I know you don't need me savin' you like that. Are you sure you're okay?" 
"He's one of the biggest producers in Hollywood. He could tank my career in a single email. You want to be the one to yell at him?" You ask. "If I said or did something, he would've doubled down, but he respects you more. He backed off because, in his mind, I belong to you."
"How do you know?"
"I've dealt with people like him before. They're all the same old men who think they can offer you a legacy on a silver platter if you fuck them. I've gotten enough advice from other actors to know how to handle them. Let them get touchy but find an out before it can go too far. Stroke their egos so they feel good about themselves. Basically, do whatever to keep you and your career safe."
"I thought stuff like that didn't happen anymore."
"You and everyone else in the world. Things don't just magically change because one guy goes to jail." You sigh. 
"I'm sorry," he says, and you shake your head. 
"It's fine."
"No, it's not. You shouldn't have to deal with that."
"It was one of the first things people told me when I started. They said it was something I might just have to… endure but that the weight would get easier to carry. One actress even told me that it was the price we have to pay because everyone wants to be us," you chuckle. He doesn't interrupt you; he just stares at you with apologetic eyes like he would take this burden from you if he could. You almost believe him. "I don't think that's true. I think most people would hand this lifestyle in the second it got too real."
"What would you do if you weren't an actor?" He asks, and you shrug.
"I always thought about being a teacher. Sure, the pay is shit, and the work is thankless, but kids are our future, you know? There's something really special about shaping young minds."
"Sounds nice."
"What about you? What would you do if you weren't doing this?"
"Probably something with my hands. I worked as a mechanic for a while, and I really liked that. I liked how it was a big puzzle that needed to get sorted out and fixed up."
"Why'd you stop?" You ask. 
"I needed to grow up. My dad owned a contracting company, so I worked with him until I saved up enough to record my first album. And that was that."
"It's crazy how we fought so hard to get to where we are, and now that we're here, it's..." You trail off, trying to figure out what you want to say.
"Terrifying?" He suggests, and you nod. "Yeah, I'm terrified every second of every day."
"You don't act like it." 
"I don't act like a lot of things that I should," he says. He stares at you so intently that the rest of the world fades away. You don't hear the song die down or the applause erupt around you as the band takes a bow. You can feel his heartbeat against your chest. You know how crazed it is. He wets his lips before stepping back and trailing his eyes down your dress and back up to your face like he's taking you in for the first time. "You really do look beautiful tonight." You swallow around the lump in your throat and smooth your hands down your dress, suddenly self-conscious. 
"Thank you." You mumble. 
Pictures of you two kissing on the carpet and dancing inside are circulating online before you even leave the event. You wake up to a huge batch of texts— one from your mom, two from Joel, six from Ryan, and one from Melanie about your trip to New York that you barely read. You would've stayed in bed wallowing in your own bad luck if there wasn't a sharp knock on your door. You groan the whole way down the stairs like it will help you greet whoever has decided to show up at your house at eight in the morning, but nobody's there when you open the door. 
Instead, a bouquet of flowers in a lovely vase sits on your mat with a note sticking out. You glance down your street and barely catch a delivery truck turning down the block. You carefully take the flowers into your kitchen before plucking the note between the petals. 
Pretty flowers for a pretty girl - JM 
(PS bought these of my own volition)
"Goddammit," you mutter under your breath as you think about his lips on yours, his soft shirt, and his stupid fucking, "I don't act like a lot of things I should."
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atmilliways · 1 year ago
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Wrong On The Money (6-8)
parts 6, 7, & 8 of ?? | 908 words | Teen+
Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr
Summary:
Steve almost wants to laugh, wants to correct Eddie, except he’s standing outside of a gay club at one in the morning. . . . Robin wouldn’t care. Other people would, but if Eddie is trying to mess with him then he’s picked the wrong forward to cover, and Steve is tired.
6.
Steve almost wants to laugh, wants to correct Eddie, except he’s standing outside of a gay club at one in the morning. Robin wouldn’t care that he’s here, beyond being a little jealous—they’ve been talking a lot lately as Steve slowly turns his own sexuality this way and that in his head, considering. (So far, he’s decided that attention from other guys doesn’t bother him. The rest is still TBD.)
Robin wouldn’t care. Other people would, but if Eddie is trying to mess with him then he’s picked the wrong forward to cover, and Steve is tired.
So he lets Eddie set a time and place to meet and . . . talk about the blackmail in detail, or whatever. Given what Steve knows, it’ll probably be for money. Which.
Well. This can help, right? He does want to help, if only for Dustin’s sake, and Eddie doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would feel comfortable taking charity. And yeah, Steve hasn’t ever met his uncle, but it’s still saving a life.
Most of his Family Video paycheck goes towards food, car, and hair care products, but he has some savings. He can figure it out, make it work with careful budgeting and a bit more of telling the kids no.
The encounter is over. Steve gets into the car and turns the engine on to warm up with the words pretty boy ringing in his ears. He grabs his gym bag out of the back seat, digging out the sweater he knew he’d want but didn’t want to risk taking off and losing in the warmth of the club. And somehow all he can think about is Eddie dressed up for a night out of his own. Tighter jeans with more rips, and chains than usual, a virtually shredded t-shirt over mesh beneath his ever-present leather and denim vest combo, the wild curly hair, the eyeliner. It had all been a little distracting in the moment, which leaves Steve thinking hard about his whole TBD thing.
Kinda weird to think the guy blackmailing you is hot, but he’s lived through stranger things than this.
7.
When they meet the next day, Eddie does ask for money. Kind of a lot. But Steve had made sure to bring cash, just in case, and presses a wad of bills into Eddie’s hand without qualm or hesitation. “How’s that for now, Munson? I can get more to you in a few days.”
“Pleasure doing business with you, Harrington,” Eddie replies with a tight smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
Maybe he’s conflicted about doing this? Steve doesn’t know what being backed into this kind of a corner might feel like, but he has some imagination. Despite what his English teachers always claimed. And he was an asshole in high school, so this is like. Penance, or whatever. He doesn’t hold it against the guy, not really.
“Uh, yeah.” Steve scratches the back of his neck, in no particular hurry to walk away. He called out of work, so he has nothing to do for the rest of the day. This whole meeting had gone quicker than he’d expected, with a straightforward total given for the price of not outing him to his ‘girlfriend’ and minimal haggling over a plan to pay in installments. “Hey. . . . Any chance I could get some grass, too?”
It’ll stretch his budget more than is probably smart. Sometimes he needs it, though, on the nights when he wakes up sweating, the words ‘I work for Scoops Ahoy’ cooling on his lips.
Eddie eyes him up and down, indifferent. (He looks good like this too, Steve realizes, without the eyeliner and shit. Christ.) “It’ll come out of what you just paid me, but sure.”
Steve is pretty sure there's a steep markup. He gets a baggie and forty bucks knocked off his payment, but hey, that’s penance for you.
8.
It’s hard not to feel like a piece of shit when hypocritically blackmailing a hypocrite, but it’s working. Now that Eddie can afford the medication, his uncle is looking better by the day and the doctors are starting to sound optimistic.
Wayne feels better too, Eddie can tell. Not enough to go back to work—though at some point he might have to come up with a plan for tying the old man down to keep him from doing just that, the stubborn old codger. But enough to ask where the money is coming from.
“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie says for the hundredth time. “Bottom line is, I’ve got this.”
Wayne’s eyes narrow, sharp as ever. Sharper, even, with how gaunt he looks these days. “Seriously, Ed, what'd you sell for this kinda cash? Not yourself I hope.”
“What? No,” Eddie yelps, hopping back with a little exaggerated pearl-clutching motion. “Jesus, Wayne, I’m not that kind of boy!”
His flailing antics get a laugh out of the man, followed by only a short stretch of hacking cough. (It’s getting better, it’s getting better, it’s getting better—that’s Eddie’s mantra these days.) 
Eddie is just glad he believes him on that. Hooking would be stupid, even stupider with the current political climate and disease going around, but he’s pretty sure Wayne would lose his shit if he knew what’s actually going on. They’ve had too many talks about standing up to bullies without becoming one over the years for Eddie to bullshit himself about that.
The important thing is, Wayne’s getting better.
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bread-gobgob · 10 months ago
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god im gonna regret this in the morning.
i made this playlist the week leading up to your birthday. i'm going to make another one this year. here is how my night is going.
my best friend who i usually call when i'm this upset is out on the town having fun. he always calls me when he's down. he calls me to tell me about batman and jesus christ superstar and lord of the rings. he was going to bring me along to the fun as a plus one, but i'm not eighteen so i can't go clubbing. i'm still just seventeen. I'm the same age you were when we met, Eni.
I'm seventeen and I'm gonna be eighteen soon. Are you proud of me?
I have a million emotional triggers. Some are much more severe than others. tonight, i can't place what exactly has set me off. maybe it's that once again i'm too young for something. maybe its the fact i've been locked up in this god-forsaken room all day. maybe its the fact that i left my phone in my boss' car and haven't had it all day and won't have it again until monday.
do you miss me? i miss you. i miss having something constant in my life. there is venom behind my feelings for you, but there is also so much hurt. i think the only real reason i'm mad is because you left me and didn't say a word. i had to get my girlfriend at the time to message you about it.
i miss you. i miss you and i am so vulnerable right now. it is late at night, my room is pitch black. i don't use discord the way i used to anymore. im not fifteen anymore. i'm not fifteen anymore, oblivion.
can you believe it? i'm not fifteen. i'm not fifteen! it's been so long since I was fifteen. oh god how wonderful it is to no longer be fifteen. oh god how horrible it is to still be seventeen.
i've been drinking a lot lately. i work a bar. i have adult friends. vodka is my best friend but i haven't had it in a while. i went to a party, and at it i drank something that tasted like mentholated spirits. i pulled all my friends aside and apologised for being so bitter. i told my best friend i loved him. i kissed a boy i know so many times he giggled and held me tight and god, i don't know who i am anymore, oblivion.
i try to throw myself into my writing - my most recent chapter is about Gadina, who's been repurposed, and who I was originally going to write as aromantic but there's this girl, Ivy, who she's the knight of and they're in love. They can't be in love because they're girls, but they also can't be in love because Gadina's brother was murdered and Gadina is seeking revenge on all who live in the castle.
I think maybe you would like it.
I try and throw myself into my friends - i talk to them about their interests and their past experiences, and i tell them i love them because I do, but I feel as though i'm not enough for them. i fear that one day they'll see me, this broken thing you couldn't love anymore, and they'll leave the same way you did. without a goodbye. begging me to let go.
i think maybe you would like them, too.
im trying to rediscover myself, oblivion. im trying to map out what exactly i am. my whole identity was you, and that's my fault. i was obsessed with you - you were older, wiser, had more experience than me. i thought you were so cool and I remember thinking, in the earliest days, that I wanted to be your friend so bad. Now you're not here, so I have to find another identity.
alcohol isn't an identity.
do you miss me too? sometimes i hear running out of roses or everything or stuff we did or hero, oh raven, my love is sick, forever drunk, all the songs on that playlist, really. and I think, this isn't possible. how do you recover from a bond so insanely important.
I hope you never see this message. Your Honey Bee.
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amicidomenicani · 2 years ago
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Question Good morning Father, First of all I thank you for this space that you devote to all of us, and for the answer to this question of mine that afflicts me. Father, I am a 36-year-old boy, engaged for 4 years and cohabiting for the same years. I converted a few months ago, when, totally ignoring the moral and divine laws, I felt out of nowhere a strong need to confess my sins of years spent without sacraments. Now I am doing everything to change my life, I try to pray at least 2 times a day, I go to mass, and I have definitively broken with many of the sins I have committed. But I'm scared about my cohabitation situation. Right after my conversion I asked my beloved Silvia to marry me. And I talked to her about practicing abstinence in these 8 months that separate us from marriage. I took this commitment very seriously, but she, after a few quarrels, understood my request but she says that she doesn't know if she will be able to wait that long. Therefore I sometimes feel pressured to have intercourse. I feel that she is slowly changing, but not completely. We once fought so much that I feared the breakup. She is determined to get married but, not following the same path as me, she does not fully understand. I come to the question: Although with all my heart I no longer want to have intercourse so as not to offend our lord, on the other hand I also understand that my girlfriend has been overwhelmed by my breakthrough and does not understand well: if I were to give in, what would happen? I would like to confess soon after because I would feel dirty. Will our Lord understand my situation? I am afraid, Father, because I know that 8 hard months await me. I repeat that if my fiancée had told me she was willing to wait until the wedding I would have done it. She's trying hard, but she hasn't assured me that she'll be able to do it all these months. Thank you Father, give me some help, some advice, some comfort. May the Lord bless you. Answer  Dear friend, 1. I apologize for such a late reply. But only today I got to your email. 2. In the meantime, I am delighted by the way the Lord has entered your life almost suddenly. It was a rebirth, a spring, a beginning to fly high. Now you have realized that encountering Jesus Christ is the same as encountering "the resurrection and the life" (Jn 11:25). At the same time you also grasped the importance of purity. You understood that the Lord was not coming to take anything away from you. On the contrary, he came to purify, to elevate, to make everything more beautiful, younger and holier. 3. I can imagine the anxiety of making your girlfriend feel what you felt. But you immediately understood how difficult it is to get God into souls. God does not enter them except by freeing them from what prevents him from entering. These hindrances are sins, which are just the opposite of opening up and keeping oneself open to God. 4. I hope that your girlfriend has gradually understood you, has respected you and has become capable of overcoming herself, thus giving you tangible proof of being a girl and a wife you can count on. 5. If the two of you have lived chastely during this time I am sure you have felt that this was the best time of your engagement. The time when your love became purer, truer. I think you felt the desire to thank the Lord for making you discover chastity, her perfume, her beauty. Your engagement would have missed the better part if chastity had been absent. 6. Even St. Augustine, after a youth spent in lust and concupiscence, knew the Lord and at the same time he also discovered the charm of purity, which is the insuppressible condition for being able to rise oneself above. I'd like to quote his Confessions page, which in many ways seems to portray your girlfriend's starting point: "The very toys of toys, and vanities of vanities, my old mistresses, still enthralle
d me; they shook my fleshly garment, and whispered softly, ‘Do you part with us? And from that moment shall we no more be with you for ever? And from that moment shall not this or that be lawful for you for ever?’ And what did they suggest to me in the words ‘this or that’? What is it that they suggested, O my God? (…). But now it said this very faintly; for on that side towards which I had set my face, and whither I trembled to go, did the chaste dignity of Continence appear unto me, cheerful, but not dissolutely gay, honestly alluring me to come and doubt nothing, and extending her holy hands, full of a multiplicity of good examples, to receive and embrace me. There were there so many young men and maidens, a multitude of youth and every age, grave widows and ancient virgins, and Continence herself in all, not barren, but a fruitful mother of children of joys, by You, O Lord, her Husband.  And she smiled on me with an encouraging mockery, as if to say, ‘Can you not do what these youths and maidens can? Or can one or other do it of themselves, and not rather in the Lord their God?' (...). This controversy in my heart was naught but self against self (…). I was saying these things and weeping in the most bitter contrition of my heart, when I heard the voice as of a boy or girl, I know not which, coming from a neighbouring house, chanting, and oft repeating, ‘Take up and read; take up and read’. Immediately my countenance was changed, and I began most earnestly to consider whether it was usual for children in any kind of game to sing such words; nor could I remember ever to have heard the like. So, restraining the torrent of my tears, I rose up, interpreting it no other way than as a command to me from Heaven to open the book, and to read the first chapter I should light upon. So quickly I returned to the place where Alypius was sitting; for there had I put down the volume of the apostles, when I rose thence. I grasped, opened, and in silence read that paragraph on which my eyes first fell: ‘Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying; but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof’. (Rom 13:13)  No further would I read, nor did I need; for instantly, as the sentence ended — by a light, as it were, of security infused into my heart — all the gloom of doubt vanished away” (St. Augustine, Confessions, VIII, 11-12).  7. What Saint Augustine experienced, you too have experienced by the grace of God. And you have felt that this is the right way. So that you remain on this path together with your girlfriend who will soon become your wife too, I assure you of my prayers and I bless you. Father Angelo Translated by Chiara P.
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thcrealheroes · 2 months ago
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OH, ANNIE KNEW WHO. SHE ABSOLUTELY KNEW WHO WITHOUT BUTCHER having to say his name. Homelander. America's greatest superhero is the Freddy Krueger of this world, the main character of everyone's nightmares, including hers. She couldn't imagine what that POOR BOY dreamt of when Homelander came to mind... but Annie knew he must be suffering. Her delicate features contorted into a grimace as she shook her head sympathetically. " ... Sorry to hear that... " In a moment of quiet reflection, the blonde supe tenderly wraps her arms around herself, as if seeking solace or comfort. " ... It's a good thing he has you... I know he-- " Misses his mom. Who could blame him ? Becca definitely earned Mother of the Year. She loved Ryan with all her heart. " -- Maybe once he gets the hang of his powers... it'll get easier for him, I'm hoping. " Annie offers a reassuring smile to Butcher, conveying a sense of COMFORT AND HOPE, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges. She wants to provide some form of hope, even if it appears out of reach at the moment, believing that hope will ultimately somehow guide them in some way.
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 When was the last time she saw Butcher ? A year ? Perhaps ? Since he took Ryan and left to live a life of PEACE—GOD, has it really been that long since the two of them have come across each other ? She's heard about him from Hughie, of course. It was surreal to be standing face to face with someone whom you once claimed not to be a fan of. The two of them were not the best of friends and had definitely bumped heads one too many times. She still held a grudge for him shooting her down, and yet, despite their disagreements and his disrespect, they found themselves in each other's presence. He never acknowledged Annie by her real name-- AND YET, she's here. And the young blonde doesn't feel any animosity towards Butcher. He's out here being a father to Ryan; he stepped down from wanting to take down Homelander to be here for Ryan, and if that doesn't make him a hero, a good father... then she didn't know what did.
 LETTING HER DARK IRISES DANCE ALONG HIS FEATURES- She's always thought he was quite handsome, although she would never say it aloud. But now, seeing him step in and do the right thing... well, that just made Butcher... well, it stirred up a lot of emotions that she'd rather not delve into. It's sexy ! She does feel sinful labeling him that, even in her head, when he's just trying to do right by Ryan. The blonde finds Butcher attractive, and she always has, but more so now that she's getting this moment with him without the two of them clawing at each other's necks or threatening to take down the other. And Annie is also... proud of him. And she's sure Becca is also. And while she wants to tell him how proud she is of him, she chooses not to; it just doesn't seem to be correct, and the two of them are not friends- she's here to help Ryan, that's it.    
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 Her lips parted slightly as a soft, melodic chuckle slipped through, revealing a glimpse of her vibrant personality. " Wow ! Did Billy Butcher low-key agree that I'm nice ? " She looks towards the house, then adjusts her purse strap on her shoulder. " You know, can't say I blame Ryan for being terrified of his powers. It is very understandable. I'll do everything I can to help him, I promise. " Determined to help the young boy as much as she can while here and away from Vought. " Please, I am nothing but patient. I mean... " Eyes flickering from the house to Butcher for a second before stepping forward. " ... Look who I deal with back at Vought. Being co-captain and... " AND HOMELANDER'S FAKE GIRLFRIEND meant having to learn to be patient, finding her inner Jesus Christ is the most excellent way to put it, all thanks to her controlling, immature, psychotic, narcissist, threatening fake boyfriend. Butcher didn't know how patient Annie could be—clearing her throat. " ... I got this. Trust me. I- do you want to take me inside so I can see him ? "   
@thcrealheroes / CONT.
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     𝐚  𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭  𝐨𝐟  𝐡𝐢𝐦  𝐰𝐚𝐬  𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥  𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝  𝐬𝐡𝐞  𝐰𝐚𝐬  𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬,     that  she  was  standing  across  from  here,  willing  to  help  ryan  in  a  way  that  he  couldn't  and  helping  him  keep  his  promise  to  rebecca.     in  making  sure  that  ryan  wouldn't  end  up  like  homelander,  he  needed  her  help  to  help  him  learn  and  control  his  powers.     as  much  as  he  dislikes  supes,  he  would  do  anything  for  ryan  and  he  didn't  have  anyone  else  that  they  could  possibly     𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭     to  do  this.     hughie  had  always  spoke  so  highly  of  starlight,  he  was  the  reason  that  butcher  had  even  considered  this  because  he  trusted  hughie  and  if  he  really  thought  that  starlight  could  be  trusted,  he  had  to  go  with  that.     he  was  completely  aware  of  the  risk  he  was  asking  her  to  take,  especially  considering  how  closely  she  had  to  work  with  homelander.     the  one  person  who  could  absolutely  not  know  what  they  were  doing  here.     it  had  a     𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥     year,  though  he  was  positive  that  homelander  had  spent  most  of  the  year  searching  for  ryan,  but  he  still  hadn't  found  them  and  it  needed  to  stay  that  way.     butcher  would  do  anything  to  make  sure  ryan  could  grow  up  in  a  way  that  rebecca  had  wanted,  she  just  wanted  the  best  for  him  and  he  had  always  been  bad  at  keeping  promsies,  but  this  was  a  promise  he  wanted  to  keep.
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     𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞  𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬  𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥  𝐚𝐬  𝐬𝐡𝐞  𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬  𝐮𝐩  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭,     knowing  he  definitely  deserved  the  way  she  reacted  to  him  because  she  absolutely  had  every  reason  to  not  like,  not  trust  him  and  honestly,  he  was  shocked  she  was  here.     she  didn't  owe  him  anything  and  it  was  just  further  proof  that  she  was  just  a  good  person.     but  he  was  being  geninue  in  saying  that  he  appreicated  that  she  was  here  and  if  she  was  going  to  keep  showing  up  like  this,  he  could  at  least  agree  to  not  be  consistently  arguing  with  her.     butcher  sighs  softly,  looking  around  the  surrounding  area  as  he  nods,     "     he's  doing  okay  as  he  can  be.     i  know  he  misses  his  mom  more  than  anything.     he  keeps  having  nightmares     .     .     .     about  you  know  who,     "     he  admits  softly  because  it  was  the  one  thing  he  couldn't  keep  him  safe  from,  he  couldn't  keep  ryan  from  his  own  fears  and  his  own  mind.     he  could  do  everything  else,  he  could  keep  moving  him  from  place  to  place,  he  could  fight  to  his  last  breath,  but  he  couldn't  protect  ryan  from  his  own  nightmares.     he  hated  seeing  him  cry  and  shout,  knowing  becca  would've  been  so  much  at  comforting  than  he  was,  but  he  was  really     𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠     his  best  out  here.     he  never  thought  he  would  be  a  good  dad,  but  he  was  trying  to  do  whatever  ryan  needed  from  him  and  he  definitely  wasn't  perfect,  but  the  two  of  them  had  each  other  and  it  had  helped  him  not  be  completely  consumed  by  grief.
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     𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫  𝐚𝐭  𝐡𝐞𝐫  𝐟𝐨𝐫  𝐚  𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭,     seeing  that  smile  on  her  face  and  just  taken  back  by  how  beautiful  she  is.     nope,  absolutely  not.     he  could  not  afford  to  be  distracted  and  think  like  that.     she  was  here  to  help  ryan  and  that  was  it.     nodding  his  head,  running  his  hand  through  dark  hair,     "     yeah,  he  does.     i  told  him  that  you  were  coming,  he  remembered  you  from  that  day     .     .     .     said  you  seemed  nice,  which  i  guess  he's  not  wrong  about,     "     he  smirked,  an  almost  playful  tone  to  his  voice  as  he  looked  away  from  her  again.     butcher  didn't  like  admitting  when  he  was  wrong  or     𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝     help,  but  it  was  obvious  that  he  didn't  know  what  it  took  to  help  ryan  with  his  powers,     "     he's  inside  with  grace  right  now.     he's  scared  of  his  powers,  he  hates  them  and  fuck,  if  he  chooses  to  never  use  them,  i'm  fine  by  that.     but  he  knows  he  needs  to  learn  to  control  them,     "     butcher  tells  her,  knowing  becca  would  be  happy  that  he  was  doing  this,  she  wanted  ryan  to  not  be  like  homelander  and  he  was  trying  to  make  sure  that  happened,     "     just  be  patient  with  him,  yeah?     kid's  been  through  enough,     "
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highqualitymercy · 6 years ago
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Some of you have never been starved for affection and felt like all your friends were actually indifferent to your existence and it really shows
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bettysupremacy · 2 years ago
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Eddie Munson x Henderson! reader Pt. 2
Summary: Eddie’s been waiting all day just to see Dustin’s sister again and now hellfire has run 30 minutes late.
Warnings: fem! Reader, cursing, fluff, broken walkmans, Dustin’s dead cat is mentioned, two idiots in love, no spoilers
A/N: here’s a part two for everyone who’s been patiently waiting. I didn’t realize y’all would like the first one so much😭 much love.
2.3k words
They’re running half an hour late. Eddie swears he’s tried to wrap up this campaign for the entirety of that half hour, but it’s gotten him nowhere.
“I think that’s a perfect place to leave off.” turned into “guys, we’re running late. No, I’m not late for anything. I’m just a very on schedule man, okay?” turned into “This is where we leave off! I refuse to DM any later then this very late hour of 6:30pm. Clean up your messes. Yes Gareth, I know where we’ve left off, thank you.”
So, much to the boys dismay, they clean up their messes and shove papers and dice into their binders. Not without Dustin grumbling about how they usually play well into 8 o’clock. His sister can wait another half hour. Come on!
They’re still shuffling to get everything picked up and put away when they hear a soft knocking at the door. Eddie flinches out of his skin. Gareth, who’s right next to him, looks at him startled. Who is that? There’s no one else it could be but her, all the teachers are gone and the janitor left 15 minutes ago. Oh my god, the room is still a mess. What is he going to do? His thoughts are cut off by Mike quickly opening the door-
Jesus Christ it’s just Jeff. Eddie completely forgot that he left to use the bathroom 5 minutes ago. He lets out a big breath of air in relief, slumping forward to grab the chair In front of him, and closing his eyes that are now hidden by his messy hair. He’s gotta fix that before he sees her.
Everyone’s staring at Eddie, and Jeff is paused in the doorway, hesitant to walk into the room after such a reaction from his dungeon master. What did he do?
“What.. what did I do?”
“Nothing Jeff,” Eddie waves him into the room, “we’re just cleaning up, cmon.”
He walks into the room, but not without looking at each of his party members confusedly. His gaze sticks a little longer on Gareth who’s now on the verge of tears from laughing at Eddie. Can someone tell him what’s going on?
“Did you think that was her?” Gareth manages to gasp out, he’s weak in his seat holding his stomach and wiping tears away from his lash line. His mind keeps replaying the way Eddie flinched at the thought of her seeing the room in this.. state.
Eddie promptly ignores him. He can’t get worked up right now. He’s gotta play it cool for her and he can’t do that if he’s worked up over his own party teasing him.
At the way Eddie ignores his question, Gareth is sucked into a new laughing fit so hard he fears he might start gagging. Jeff puts his hand on Gareth’s back, slowly rubbing up and down, hoping that the giggles will stop. He thinks it’s kinda.. cute.. of Eddie to be so head over heals for a girl.
“Yeah, yeah, so funny.” Eddie draws out “We’ll see who’s laughing when I’m the only one in this room with a girlfriend.”
“But.. me and Mike have girlfriends?” Dustin’s confusion has taken him so far aback, he hasn’t even realized that Eddie just said his sister was going to be his girlfriend.
That makes Eddie smile down at his DM folder he’s neatly packing up. Why does that make him smile? “Oh yeah, sure.” He lifts his eyes to Dustin’s “Except mine won’t conveniently live in another state, making it impossible for their friends to meet them.”
“Her name is Suzie, and she lives in Utah!”
“And shes hotter then Phoebe Cates?” Eddie’s hand is on his hip now.
“Yes! And she’s like really smart. She can hack into-”
Eddie shakes his head in amusement “Hey, can’t be hotter then your sister.”
Dustin gapes at him. What did Eddie just say? Mike has both hands over his mouth desperately trying not to laugh.
“You know what?” Dustin turns on his heel offended, and walks out the club door, not even waiting for Mike to catch up.
“Shit,” Eddie scrambles for his stuff. Before he leaves the room he runs his hands trough his hair, using a prop mirror to push his bangs into place, and smooths down his shirt. He will not have a remake of lunch.
He’s practically tripping over his feet to keep up with Dustin, who’s setting an imposible pace trying lose Eddie. He’s yelling apologies through the hall “I was joking! Kid! It as a joke, im sorry!” He doesn’t sound sorry though, he sounds like he’s about to bust out laughing.
When they push through those large high school doors, she’s the only in the big empty parking lot. She’s sitting on the hood of her car messing with something in her hands, while Sweet Leaf plays loudly in her car. Sweet Leaf. My God, he’s in love.
She hears the doors open and snaps her head up like she’s been expectantly waiting for something. Or someone.
She’s not wearing her cheer uniform anymore, just a large Back to The Future tee shirt Robin bought her and Steve as an inside joke (she’s been using it as a sleep shirt, but she was in a rush to get to Dustin), and denim shorts. Her hair looks like it’s in the process of drying. Did she take a shower? Also why does he suddenly have the urge to see her in his own shirt?
The “Dusty!” she yells out is wobbly like she’s holding something in, and he can hear the upset laced through it. He thinks he must’ve heard her wrong. That is until he sees her watery eyes and furrowed brows, and realizes he didn’t at all.
Dustin immediately thinks the worst, rushing over to her. They didn’t kill all the demodogs? Russians are back in Hawkins? No it’s not that, she’s handing him something. What is she handing him? Her.. walkman?
Even though she scared the shit out of him, he try’s not to get upset with her. Her Walkman was a gift from Steve and she treats it like it’s the most precious thing in the world, she’s never let him touch it either. Is it broken?
“You scared the shit outta me.” He breathes out, winded from running through the parking lot.
She looks genuinely sorry. “I’m sorry dusty,” She’s had that tight feeling in her throat since 5:30 when she got out the shower and saw her mothers cat treating her most beloved Walkman like a cat toy. The talking gives into her tight throat and she lets out a quiet sob. Oh, Eddie’s heart just broke a little. She sticks her Walkman in Dustin’s hands, “look.”
“Why are you handing me this?”
“Click play.”
“Oh.”
Her Walkman won’t play when he clicks the button.
“And! My Master of Reality cassette is stuck in there!”
Dustin frowns, “You love that cassette.”
“It’s my favorite one!” She sobs, dropping her head into her hands. She doesn’t fight the crying anymore. Only, she’s being so quiet that the only reason Eddie can tell she’s crying is because of how hard her shoulders are shaking. He wants to hug her so bad. So bad.
Dustin fiddles with it for a moment, bringing it up to his eye to look at it closer, before looking up at her and asking “what happened?”
She treats this thing like gold, she couldn’t have been the one to do this.
“Tews, that stupid fucker. I came into my room and he was tossing it around like it was a play toy. I thought maybe you could fix it”
Dustin’s just trying to distract her enough to quiet her sobs, he really doesn’t know if he can fix this, but worst case scenario he’d ask Steve if he would buy her a new one. And he would! Matter of fact, if Steve knew that this one was broken right now he’d insist on buying her a new one instead of Dustin fixing it himself.
“I hate that new cat,” another choked sob “I miss mews so much” now Dustin doesn’t know if she’s still crying about her Walkman or if she’s accidentally made herself start crying over their dead cat. That poor mangled cat.
Eddie thinks he hears her whisper out “so mangled” and wonders what the hell happened to their last cat. I mean mangled?
“I know, I know” he’s still fiddling with it. She looks like she wants to object when he starts softly hitting it, but she doesn’t.
“I liked Dart more than I like Tews. Dart’s face opens up, he’s a carnivore, and Tews is somehow still meaner!” She sniffles a little while Dustin nods, too engrossed with trying to see what’s wrong with the Walkman. “What was the candy you gave Dart down there??” down where? Eddie’s so confused. “Was it a.. Nougat?” Dustin nods again.
“Nougat! I’m gonna go back down there with a Nougat and bribe dart to come back up and kill Tews the way he killed Mews”
What? Okay. Now they’ve really lost Eddie. He looks over at Mike, expecting his confusion to be mirrored on the younger boys face. Why does Mike look like he understands what they’re talking about? What the hell?
Dustin let’s out a strangled laugh like he’s startled and pats her knee, “I think I’ll be able to fix it.”
She gasps, wiping the tears off her face harshly, “really?”
Dustin nods, “I might even be able to save Master of Reality.”
She hops of the car quickly and throws her arms around him ecstatic. Eddie hears a quiet chant of thank you’s. He could laugh at how quickly her mood changed. Like a mood ring in a warm fist he thinks. When she pulls away she remembers her promise of dinner and says “you guys are getting extra fries tonight.”
The excitement that bursts from the two youngest boys has her in wet laughs. She turns to Eddie and swears she has a heart attack when she realizes that he’s there too. When did he get there? Did he see her crying? Oh Christ she’s mortified.
“You can come too, if you want I mean. You don’t have to come if you don’t want-“
The boys excitement dies down quickly. Well, Dustin’s does. Mike still has a grin on his face. Before Dustin can object, Eddie rushes out “I want to come! I’ll come, if you want me to?”
“I want you to come.. if you want to come.”
A loud laugh bubbles out of him, startling her into a nervous laugh. They’re just repeating the same thing over and over. “Yeah, I want to come. But my car-“ he points behind him dramatically, smiling at her “is alllll the way back there. Do you wanna meet there?”
Her words mix and muddle with Dustin’s, as he says “no” and she says “yes” at the same time, but he wasn’t listening to Dustin. He was listening to her.
“Ok! Cool! So I’ll just-“ he makes to walk towards his car.
“We haven’t told you where we are eating yet?”
“Oh-“ he laughs a little, looking away to cover up his bright cheeks, just in case the dark of this cold fall night doesn’t. That’s actually a really good excuse. His face is just really.. really cold right now? Jesus Christ. “What- where are we gonna eat?”
She turns and gives an expectant look to where her brother just was, but he’s.. gone? She spins a full 360 looking for him and quickly realizes that he’s sitting in the dark car with Mike. He just really couldn’t stand to watch them stumble around each other any longer.
She lets out a breath of a laugh, and Eddie can see it in the cold air. “Jesus. he’s- he’s something.”
She walks up to the window and crouches so she can motion for him to roll the window down. When he does he looks severely unimpressed, arms crossed and looking cross himself. “What d’you and Mike want for dinner, Spock?”
He rolls his eyes at her teasing and says “You seem very in the mood for Enzo’s”
“Har har, very funny. What do you want for dinner Mike?”
“The diner on curly?”
“Perfect, thank you.”
She gets up and walks back to Eddie, feeling more prepared. “We’re gonna go to the diner on curly, do you know where that is?”
He nods, “I’ll see you there, pretty”
He didn’t mean to say that. He really didn’t mean to say that. Oh my god. What’s wrong with him? It wasn’t him being smooth, it was him having no filter! I need to buy a filter he thinks.
Meanwhile, her heart soars. He thinks I’m pretty?? She smiles so hard, so quickly, she turns her entire head away to look behind her.
He was hurriedly looking for any emotion he could find on her face, but when he sees her look away to hide that ever growing smile, he feels sweet relief. Suddenly he’s bursting with pride. Maybe he is smooth.
He’s smiling wide when she turns her head back to look at him, and she feels she needs to look away again just to escape his pretty smile.
“Yeah, I’ll see you there, Eddie.” She can’t even say it to his face, his attractiveness is blinding her.
He watches her quickly turn towards her car and climb in, before turning towards his own car himself. The smile never leaves his face.
He really needs to ask that girl out on a proper date.
Who wants a pt 3?
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big-meows · 3 years ago
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luca can be read as a queer coming of age story without necessarily being a romance between the two boys and thats...fine actually, because the meat of the story really is that meeting each other was the catalyst they both needed for finding acceptance and moving forward. Through Alberto, Luca gets to grow beyond his safe, sleepy farming village and indulge his curiosity and learn about the world; through Luca, Alberto finds a home and a family; this is ultimately what these two characters needed most at that moment in time, and to have those things it means they don't get to occupy the same space at the same time for a while, and to that end I GUESS I can agree with casarosa and his "this is a time before girlfriends and boyfriends" take because like....okay, they ARE kids, I dont actually expect the end of this story to be a "they kiss and ride off into the sunset on their janky vespa to live happily ever after" situation.
but like? Alberto was in love with Luca. You cannot take this from me. I dont know that Luca was quite there yet himself because he sure did experience a whole lot of new stimuli awfully quickly and he kind of gravitates to whichever new person in his life seems to have the most to offer his hungry little brain (Alberto first, then Giulia) so I think it's reasonable to suggest the idea isn't really on his plate yet. You COULD argue that Alberto's doing the same in clinging to Luca as his first "human" contact since his dad left and that Luca gravitating toward Giulia is just triggering his fear of abandonment but I don't...really feel like taking an impressionable, excitable kid under your wing fills the same need as finding a new father figure, i don't know that you could convince me that that's what's happening there. I think that he has a crush on Luca, and is working overtime to impress him, and Luca is not really in that headspace quite yet or if he is, doesn't realize it, and isn't registering how frustrated Alberto is with Giulia entering their sphere because to Luca, Giulia is "more friends!" and to Alberto, Giulia is "competition for Luca's attention."
It could have been so easy for Alberto to become a jealous antagonist, but really so much of what he does, however clumsily or misguided, he does for Luca. He could have outed Luca, but he doesn't. He outs himself. we talk about how hard he works to ensure Luca gets to go to school even though it means they wont be together anymore and it means giving up on his own dreams, which is...fucking devastating dude. Holy shit, this kid is a romantic. but also he really was laying his whole life on the line during the race when he tells Luca you're still okay. Ercole and the other townsfolk would have happily murdered him in the street, and he runs right into it, so that Luca could stay hidden and safe. Luca didnt come to his defense last time, he doesnt actually know if he will this time, but he does it anyway. Jesus christ dude.This boy.
So like. Was it a romance? Debatable. Was it a love story? absolutely. Was it good that they focused on fulfilling their immediate emotional needs instead of riding off into the sunset together? Yeah, sure, they're kids and they have so much growing to do. Should they ride off into the sunset together in a few years when they're a little more grown up and well adjusted? i mean obviously.
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papergirllife · 3 years ago
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Yuta Nakamoto,  Mark Lee
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Chapter 6
Venom! Yuta x human! Mark x human! reader
Synopsis :
Mark thought he’d never find love with Yuta living inside his body, having his life turned upside down when he met the alien, or more accurately, was ‘chosen’ by Yuta during an afternoon of a very normal university tour which turned out to be a tour to the biotechnology company he had to destroy to save the world.
So definitely, with the hero duties and school, and the fact that he's no longer your typical university kid, love was sort of out of the picture for him. But what happens when he stumbles upon a girl who loves him and his alien buddy?
A/N: this is a short one, sorry! I promise the next one would be what you guys are waiting for ;)
Warnings : Suggestive content (filth in the next chapter)
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After that 'eventful’ night, Mark and Yuta had not initiated anything else towards you. Do they not fantasize over what could potentially happen if they took the next step? Mark isn’t a virgin, that you’re very much sure, yes he's overall a nervous wreck around you, but the confidence he showcased in the bedroom that night? That blew your mind.
When you asked Mark about it as the two of you were having a nice peaceful time away in the tiny compartment of a ferris wheel at this small amusement park that's open for the spring season, Mark was quick to defend himself.
“Mark, why won't you and Yuta fuck me?” you asked, head looking up from the position of leaning into his embrace, you always enjoyed his supernatural warmth, none of your exes were this warm.
Mark, who obviously had not been expecting you to ask something so...sexual this straightforwardly in the middle of a date even, he choked on the juice he was drinking, quickly calming his body as his mind frantically thinks up of an excuse.
“I...um, I just thought we would like to take things slow, that’s what, um, Yuta and I agreed over, you know, our first serious relationship, you know,” Mark says before swallowing a lump in his throat. He knows you’re smart, you’re studying journalism for Christ’s sake! What if you know that’s not the main reason they’re avoiding sex?
“Okay,” you said before slumping back down into his embrace, your eyes back into admiring the sunset as thoughts cloud your mind.
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The next time you asked, Yuta was your victim to interrogate, coming onto him even stronger than Mark, that was your plan, to make the alien break.
Celebrating a tiny three months anniversary, in this apartment Mark, Yuta, and you call home with French cuisine delivered to your doorstep, your gift for the evening that had you secretly eating cup noodles for lunch on campus for almost a month, but the boys didn't need to know it.
Mark brought out a bottle of white wine that was sent to him from his aunt in Canada, Mark had introduced you as his girlfriend when you had accidentally came home and walked in on them face timing.
Mark’s aunt is a bubbly woman in her early forties who holds nothing but adoration for her nephew, she was really proud that he had finally found a girlfriend too, Mark made up a story about how you two met on a bus and left out the fact that you were staying in her old home permanently, his aunt is kind, but Mark never told her about his life with Yuta and would prefer it staying hidden that way.
Fast forwarding to the present, you are now standing in the small open area people in Seoul call a balcony, staring at the moon, wondering about Yuta’s planet, the man in your thoughts wrapping his arms around you just then, you can tell by the way they show affection, Yuta was always more forward while Mark tends to be a bit shy.
“How did you live without a host back on your own planet?” you asked, the thought suddenly occurring to you.
“Our planet had an animal that’s really similar to what you guys call monkeys, we would inhabit their bodies and shape it to as humanoid as possible, they’re a bit bigger in size, around 6 feet, I used to 6’3, you know, but not as handsome, monkeys can only do so much when it comes to facial structure,” Yuta explained.
“Did all of you walk around in your mortal forms or some choose not to?” you asked, picturing a futuristic planet filled with alien looking creatures, do most of them look like Yuta in his alien form or scarier?
“Only the old ones who take pride in what they are walk around in their true forms, kind of glad I was the one they took instead of any of those dudes, they would unleash carnage if they were given a place like earth, they feed on superiority of other beings, crazy motherfuckers,” Yuta recalled and explained to you with a shudder, thinking about the massacre that could occur if they hadn’t took him.
“I'm glad they took you too, but poor you, being cooped up in that lab with a bunch of boring people and white mice,” you said, turning around to brush his hair with your hand as your other hand plays with his bottom lip, hooded eyes locking into his that mirror your emotions, Yuta is easy to tempt, you might just get what you're waiting for all this time.
Just as Yuta closes his eyes to relish himself in the feeling of your light but fiery touches on him, he feels his hands being guided by yours, palms being pressed onto a surface that makes his heart jump.
Opening his eyes, he sees his own hands on your bare breasts, your skin shinning under the moonlight, he could feel the thump of your heart as well as his.
‘Dude! Don't fall for it! We can’t!’ Mark reminds him.
“Bruh, did you have to? You know what? You talk to her,” Yuta says with a sigh, confusing you, until you realise he was talking to Mark.
Yuta left, forcing Mark out once more, red faced and stuttering when he realised where his hands are, quickly retracting them and pushing your shirt back down.
“Baby, we’re outside, what were you thinking?” Mark chided as he pulls you back into the safety of the four walls.
“Well, if you weren’t willing to touch me, just thought Yuta would want to,” you retorted, pulling away from Mark entirely, crashing your body down onto the couch, switching on the telly, trying to ignore the boy beside you who was racking his head for a decent explanation.
“It's not that I don't want to...” Mark starts off, but stops when he can't seem to form an explanation for you.
‘Just tell her,  how long do you want to hide it?’ Yuta chided from his head.
“Easy for you to say, you're not the one doing the explaining,” Mark said, which had you confused, until you realise he was facing the other side, a habit he has to not confuse you to who he’s talking to.
When you felt a light tap on your shoulder, you looked back to see Yuta staring say you, far more seriously than he's ever looked before.
“You know how I'm still different even with a mortal body right?” Yuta asks before he switches his arm to his alien arm, then breaking it up into tentacles, swirling in the air gracefully, the yellow light above you making it look inky black.
“Yeah,” you said, winding your head into the bundle of his limbs, feeling the moisture of his original alien form.
“Well, my cock, when we fuck, it's different too,” Yuta said exasperatedly, eager to get this weight off his chest, finally spilling the beans.
“What?” you asked, looking down, nothing out of the particular from the outside of his pants, just a normal sized bulge from the thin material of his old sweats Mark only wears at home.
“I'm willing it to be human when in this form,” Yuta said with a chuckle, feeling shy like a schoolgirl all of a sudden, “but when we’re having sex, I’m not sure I could, or if it would feel restricted for me, which is why Mark had to get rid of me that night, he missed his human parts...
Yuta stopped when he could feel Mark’s blood boil and profanities that would make his Jesus loving aunt wash his mouth with soap.
“Chill, Markie, masturbating is normal, everyone knows that,” Yuta said, on one hand wanting to calm down the boy, but it's too good not to rile him up when he reacts like a kid.
“Okay so, how does your dick look like?” you asked, bracing yourself for all kinds of weirdness, it won't go as far as colour changing, right?
“I should just show you,” Yuta says, standing up from his comfortable seat on the sofa, a hand untying the knot of his sweats.
“Ready?” Yuta asks once more, just in case you need to back out.
“Yeah,” you said, lips pursing together when you see the first sliver of skin, realising that Mark doesn’t wear underwear at home.
At first it was just a normal larger than average dick, you thought the two of them were pranking you at first, until the 'normal’ cock slowly shifted into something else, it started expanding at first, growing in length and width, the colour of skin had changed into Yuta’s rich royal blue colour, when it finally stopped, your jaw was on the ground, there it was, where his normal penis was, is being replaced by two, okay you won’t call those limbs, because they’re definitely not like those extensions of his body, but more like tentacles, without the suckers, a smooth surface, the tip was thin and fork-end, but it gets thicker and thicker until the end, oh and another thing? There’s two tentacles, Yuta has two large tentacles as dicks. Now you know why Mark was so adamant about sex.
“Those aren’t going to fit,” you said as you watch them flick and move about, much more flexible than the human penis.
“Oh, that, um, before sex my body, one of my extended limbs, as you call it, they can excrete a type of liquid that temporary allows your body to alter in order to withstand the stretch,” Yuta explained as if he was explaining how a certain dish was made, trying to make it sound as normal as possible, if that’s possible, and heck if only it was that easy to comprehend.
“So like aphrodisiacs?” you wondered aloud, thankful for the hours spent on some sites you rather not name.
“Wow, you know your thing,” Yuta says as he shifts back his parts into his mortal form before pulling his pants back up.
“Is there anything else that I need to know?” you asked as a joke, thinking this was all for you to learn about Yuta’s body.
“Since we’re already talking about this, just a heads up, there’s a certain period where I can't touch you or you’ll end up pregnant if I’m not careful, the process of reversing it isn’t all that pleasant either, I’ll tell you about ovipositioning some other time,” Yuta said with a lopsided smirk, enjoying your confused reaction.
“Okay?” should you ask about the details? You know the gist of it, or what you read and watched about that is, a buzzing in your core at the thought of what Yuta could do during that ‘forbidden’ period.
“Now that we’re clear, I'll give you back Mark,” Yuta said, about to leave but stopped by your firm grip on his hand, doe eyes staring at him, batting your lashes, the mischievous shine in your eyes that don't go unnoticed by him.
“Stay, Mark didn't even have the balls to tell me about your shared magical cocks, why should he be the one getting cuddles?” you said as you lean your body into his, moving his arm over your shoulders for him, his hand falling dangerously close to your right boob.
He could hear Mark complaining about shunning him in, but he pushes it aside, trying his best to focus on you.
“Cuddling? I thought we were in the middle of something just now?” Yuta asks, his single eyebrow quirked up expectantly.
“Maybe next time, if the two of you could make me wait that long, I deserve the right to tease you too,” you said before diverting your eyes to the television, laughing when Tom from Tom and Jerry slammed into the wall trying to catch the latter, reminding you of the cat and mouse game you're playing as of now.
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kpop---scenarios · 3 years ago
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Cravings || One
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Pairing: Vampire! Hongjoong x Reader
Warning: None Yet
Word Count: 3.1k
A/N: If you would like to be tagged, let me know!
"Babe, hey babe." Your boyfriend, Chad calls out to you, as you're sitting at the kitchen table, running over over bills again and trying to figure out how the fuck you're going to try to pay everything. You worked damn hard, and barely had anything to show for it. Ever since Chad had moved in a few months ago, without an invitation, you were stressed. Everything had gone up and doubled since he hadn't left, and he also hadn't contributed anything financially towards the household. You paid for rent, utilities, groceries and you even paid when the two of you went out for dinner. Chad worked full time, but where his money was going, you had no fucking idea. He constantly went out with his 'boys' , often coming home obliterated, and just expecting you to have your legs spread open for him when he rolled in, apparently that was your duty as his girlfriend, according to him. As if not contributing and acting like a man child was such a turn on. Not to mention the countless hours he spent on your gaming console, yelling and talking to his friends, leaving you no time to play any games that you like, unless you wanted to wake up a few hours before you had to work to sneak on it. But by the time you got home from work, cleaned up the messes he made throughout the day, made yourself dinner, showered and got into your PJ'S, you were too damn tired to do anything. You knew you had to wake up the next day and do it all over again, so any sleep you got was precious. 
A part of you often wondered why you were in this relationship with him. Maybe you were scared to be alone, maybe you didn't think you could do any better than him, but you stuck with him, because for some reason, you loved the guy. 
"What do you want, Chad?" You sigh, walking into the living room where he's sprawled out on the couch, headset on and his match paused. "I'm trying to figure out bills, you know that thing that keeps us warm, and with light and hot water, that you said you'd help pay and haven't." 
"Yeah, babe, can you go to the corner store and get those Takis, you know the ones I like? The not so spicy ones though babe, cause remember I have acid reflux, and a diet coke." He says, turning back to the screen, laughing at something said through his head phones. 
You could feel the rage building up inside of you, awfully quick, and it was seeping out of you even quicker.
"Are you going to pay for said snacks?" You ask, trying to keep your voice calm. 
"What?" He laughs. "Babe, no, come on. I'm broke. I don't get paid again for two weeks. You know this." 
"You just got paid yesterday." You breathe through gritted teeth. "Where the hell did all your money go?" You ask, your hands balled into fists. 
"You know babe, I had the fantasy football league entry, plus I owed Kyle money for the keg bomber last weekend, and I took the boys out for supper yesterday. Shit adds up." He says, never looking at you, only focusing on the game. 
"And that's my problem, why exactly? Why is it always on me just because you're not financially stable. Grow up, you're 35 for christ sakes!" You yell. You stomp to the kitchen, grabbing your purse and slipping on your shoes before heading back into the living room. 
"Yeah, she's got her shoes and purse." He laughs. "She's definitely going to get my stuff." 
"You know what Chad? I'm definitely not going to get your snacks, get your own fucking snacks, Chaaad. I'm going for a drink, with my own goddamn money." You spit, storming out of the house. 
You're wandering down the street, like you had been for the last thirty five minutes, and finally you found somewhere that looked decent enough. You walk in, and the lights are on very low, the place is almost dark, had it not been for the red lights swinging above tables, or the string of red lights wrapping around the ceiling. Your eyes wander the open floor of seating as a soft beat vibrates through the building. Every person in here who was sitting with someone was leaning closely to that person, seemingly having an intense conversation. The vibes felt dark and eerie, but you welcomed it, you enjoyed it instead of being around Chad's fuck boy mentality. You walk towards the bar, sliding onto one of the empty bar stools and setting your purse on your lap. Your eyes were looking down when you felt a presence standing in front of you. You look up and see quite possibly the most beautiful man you have ever seen. 
"What can I get for you?" He asks, his voice is deep, yet so smooth and calming.
"Double vodka and coke please, and for the love of god, keep them coming." You sigh. After your comment you see the slightest hint of a smile appear on his lips, disappearing even quicker than it came. 
"Bad day?" He asks, beginning to pour your drink. 
"Bad relationship." You groan. He nods his head as he slides your drink towards you. 
"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, leaning on the bar with his chin resting on his hands as he waits for you to speak. You look into his eyes, and they're so warm and mesmerizing, you felt safe and secure, like you could tell him anything. Which is exactly what you did.
"What's your name?" You ask. 
"Hongjoong." He replies. "You?" 
"Y/N." 
"Okay Y/N, what's bothering you?" 
"My boyfriend, we've been together for just over a year, and well.. he's something, and not the good something like people usually say. He moved in with me, without even asking me if I wanted to, and I just kind of accepted it. He doesn't pay anything, no bills, rent, groceries, nothing. It's all on me, even though he does work full time. He forgot my birthday, went out and got absolutely plastered with his 'boys'. On Valentine's Day, he took me out for dinner, and can you guess who was there?" You ask. 
"His boys?" He answered. 
"You sir, are correct. I was ignored the entire evening, and then he and his boys left, I ended up paying the bill, and I had to uber home because he had driven us there. Not to mention the fact that he assumes I'm just there for his pleasure, expecting me to be spread eagle for him whenever he decides to show up." You finish, chugging your drink as you try not to gag on the strong taste of vodka. 
"Why are you with him then? He doesn't sound like he contributes to the relationship at all, so why do you stay?" He asks. 
'Honestly, I'm not entirely sure." You answer as he slides another drink in front of you.
"Now that's a bullshit excuse." He replies. "There's a reason that you clearly don't want to admit." 
"Do you ever smile?" You ask him. 
"No." He answers. "Now, why won't you leave him?" 
"Because it's safe, I guess? I don't know if I can do any better than him." You shrug. 
"Y/N, you have no idea how much better you could do." He says. 
** 
From the moment Hongjoong had a whiff of the scent that was coming into his bar, he knew that it was the scent of the one. He intensely watched the door, waiting for the one it belonged too to walk through the door. As soon as you did, it was almost as though his heart could have started beating once again, the ice cold blood that ran through his body could have turned warm just by the sight of you. He isn't sure what it is about you, but he had always been told that he would know when he found the one, and having been alive for over a century, he had just assumed that it wasn't in the cards for him, and now he knows why. Because all his life he had been waiting for you. The person that he would do anything for, the person that he would be anything for had finally walked into his life, and for once he felt an ounce of hope, until, you had mentioned the filthy human you were in a relationship with, not to mention one that treated you like absolute garage, and you had assumed that no one better would love you, but shit were you ever wrong. He was standing right in front of you, and though you had just met him, he loved you with everything he had and would do anything and everything to protect you. 
**
"I appreciate your advice, Hongjoong, but it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow." You sigh. "How much do I owe you?" You ask, grabbing your card from your wallet. 
"It's on me." He tells you, grabbing your empty glass.
"Well thank you." You smile. "It was nice meeting you." You tell him as you slide off the stool. 
"You too." He says, watching you walk away from him. 
That night when you got home, you couldn't get Hongjoong off your mind, a smile spread across your face as you walked through your front door, and headed into the living room, then it instantly dropped. Chad had not moved from the spot you had previously left him in a few hours ago. "Oh, babe." He says, sucking the cheeto dust from his fingers. "Kyle brought me some snacks, since you threw a huge temper tantrum about my snacks, you can just venmo or cash app him, k?" He says, going back to playing his game. 
You went to bed that night, dreaming of one man, who was not your man. 
**
Over the next few weeks, you had absolutely no desire to be at home. So you headed to the bar that Hongjoong worked at, everyday after work for a drink, or two, or four. In those weeks the two of you spent an ample amount of time getting to know each other, you were sure he knew you better than Chad ever did.  You didn't want to see Chad, you didn't want to be near him and it was bad enough that he constantly texted you throughout the day, sending you lists of things to buy from the grocery store, as if he wasn't able to do it himself. But much to your surprise, he didn't text you when you never came home with his snacks, he didn't check in with you throughout the day, and honestly it no longer bothered you. 
You felt your feelings for Hongjoong deepen with every encounter the two of you had, every time you saw him it was like nothing you had ever felt with Chad, your emotions were amplified around Hongjoong and you weren't sure how much longer you could keep them hidden. 
"One more." You tell Hongjoong, as you set down your fourth glass. 
You can tell he wants to smile, but he's too good at controlling his emotions. "You've had enough, I'm cutting you off." He tells you. 
You pout, trying to give him your best puppy dog eyes, but absolutely nothing got to the man and it was frustrating as fuck. 
"A bad storm is coming, you should probably get home." He tells you, drying off some glasses. 
"I don't want to go home, he's there." You scoff, just thinking about Chad made you want to vomit. "I guess I could just get a motel room, at that place across the street." You say, pointing over to the run down motel, that had flickering lights, and probably a rat and cockroach infestation. 
"You will do no such thing." Hongjoong replies. "You can stay at my place." He says. "Give me a minute." He walks from around the bar, towards the back of the building, and you can't help but to turn in your stool and watch him walk away, damn he looks good. 
Within seconds he's back, grabbing your bag and scooping you up into his arms as he effortlessly carries you out the door. 
"I can walk." You object. 
"I know." He says, his face stone cold. 
"You're very pale." You tell him, as if he didn't know. 
"I know." He replies, unlocking the door to his car. 
"And you're very cold." You say. 
He sighs. "I know." He finishes as he slides you into the passenger seat of his car. 
As soon as he started his car, the rain began pouring as thunder and lightning jolted the sky. 
"You were right, there's a storm." You say, watching out your window. 
"I know." He replies, this time it sounded different. You turned to look at him, hoping you'd catch him smiling but no such luck. 
He continues driving, taking you out into the middle of nowhere, out of city limits, this was it, this was probably when you died. You panicked slightly but you felt it in your entire body that he was not going to murder you, at least not that night. 
Hongjoong pulls up to a gate, punching in a few numbers to open the gate, which just blocked off a winding road. You squinted as you tried to see where you were going but it was far too dark for you to see anything, until you pulled up to a beautiful mid-century mansion that made your mouth drop. It was absolutely stunning and you couldn't believe that he lived there. 
"Seriously? This is where you live?" You say. 
"MY family, but yeah." He answers, parking the car near the entrance. 
He hops out of his seat, walking towards your side to open the door for you, pulling you inside before you get too wet. He dragged you up a large flight of stairs, not letting you admire the inside of his house. He put you inside a large room, with a large bed and a bathroom ensuite. "There's towels if you want to shower, I'll be back in a bit to check on you." He says, avoiding all eye contact before walking out of the room. 
You let out a deep breath as you take off your heels, unbutton your pants and unhook your bra, placing it all next to the bed. You sit down on the bed in your underwear and t-shirt, wondering what to do, until your phone rings. 
Looking at the caller ID, you didn't want to answer it, but you felt it would be unfair for you to do so. 
"Hello?" You answer. 
"Hey babe, it's me.. it's Chad." He says. 
"I know who it is." You sigh. 
"Look.. I know you've been terrible, oh, wait, I mean I've been terrible in our relationship lately but I want to make almonds." He says. "No idiot, it's amends." You hear from the background. 
"Are you kidding me right now? Do you seriously have Brad over to help you?" You yell. 
"Well yeah, he noticed that we were drifting apart and offered to help me get you back." Chad explains. 
You get up off the bed, pacing on the hardwood floors as you tried to process what he just said to you. 
"The fact that you didn't even notice that we were drifting apart is all that I need to hear. You know what, Chad? I'm done. I'm done with this relationship, I'm done with you. Just get out of my apartment, I'm over it." You yell, hanging up the phone. 
You stand there, taking deep breaths as you replay the conversation you just had, he didn't even care enough to notice that you'd been pulling away. That kind of hurt, but then again it was Chad. He was never very perceptive. 
A knock at the door before it suddenly opens, reveals Hongjoong, walking into the room. He tried to play it cool with the fact that you were practically naked in front of it. 
"I heard yelling. You okay?" He asks as lightning strikes, causing the power to flicker. 
"Chad called, he had his friend Brad over to feed him lines because Brad noticed we were drifting apart." You explain. "But I did it. I ended things." You proudly admit. 
"Good for you." He says, staring at you, while you stare back at him. A crack of thunder hits loudly, making you jump, and within seconds Hongjoong's arms are wrapped around you, like he was protecting you. You look at him and he looks at you, and before you can tell yourself not to, your lips are pressed against him, and he is kissing you back. 
The kiss turns passionate and needy in seconds, both of your desires for one another coming out without any control. He moves you both to the bed, laying you down as he hovers over you, his strong arms keeping him above you. You wrap your arms and legs around him, pulling his body closer to yours, feeling him near was all you'd wanted. His ice cold fingers touch your stomach as he begins to lift your shirt up, you can feel his cock slowly becoming harder. You begin lifting his shirt, when his phone rings. He stands up, whispering an apology before answering his phone, barely speaking any words. 
"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I have some things to take care of." He says. 
"Oh, yeah, no problem." You say, sitting on the edge of the bed. 
"Get some sleep." He tells you before walking out of the bedroom door, leaving you alone once again. 
You tried to fight the exhaustion you felt, but it was far too hard. You got snuggled underneath the blankets, watching the door, hoping he would come back but your eyelids got too heavy for you to keep open, and you swiftly drifted off to sleep, finally feeling some peace. 
**
The warm sun was shining into the room, waking you up. You let out a little stretch before opening your eyes, only to see five men standing around you. You sit up, moving to the wall, as these men stare at you. You looked at them all, and they all looked similar to Hongjoong. Pale skin, dark eyes, dark head, blood red lips. 
"Who are you?" One of them asks. 
"Y/N." You whisper. 
Another one speaks up, looking at the other four men. "Who the fuck brought a human home?" 
571 notes · View notes
yardsards · 2 years ago
Note
being trans makes you lgbt. But being aspec doesn’t. If you were cis, straight, and not dating someone who’s trans or otherwise lgbt, you wouldn’t be part of lgbt. It’s more of a descriptor like calling yourself a girl or a boy, not that you would. Being ace and trans or ace and bi or ace and gay would keep you in lgbt. But being just ace or aro isn’t quite as qualifying as a lot of aspec think it is. Unfortunately We’ve seen a lot of aspec people say things against trans and gay from perspective that cannot truly give them say. Unfortunately we’ve seen aspec admit to believing in “drop the t” while screaming acecourse and wanting to stop feeling oppression. A lot of the problems with acecourse are that aspec still receive worlds more respect and validity from outside communities because from those outside perspectives at least they aren’t gay or trans degenerates and perverts. We believe this is the true reason acecourse garnered a cringe history, because it was playing with the fact that straight people were identifying themselves as ace to put themselves within the community because it was in fact trendy and all of a sudden they could reap the benefits of attention coming with being seen as valid by a large part of the tumblr community, while also spreading hate and opression and preaching drop the t or claiming transmed arguments against a community that actually deserves support. Read or don’t it’s all good, but have a nice day regardless
i'm probably wasting my time replying to this but i'm gonna go over some of your points in case you're actually willing to learn. i may come across as angry at times, but i am just so tired of this kind of thing and i struggle to express myself with complete calmness and patience in regard to this kind of thing:
"being trans makes you lgbt. But being aspec doesn’t."
you don't get to tell me which parts of my identity are queer and which ones aren't. i have the lived experience of being trans. i have the lived experience of being aroace. using that knowledge and those experiences, i can wholeheartedly tell you that they are equally queer identities. i identified as aroace before i identified as trans, and i was just as queer in that period as i was after i realized i was also trans.
"If you were cis, straight, and not dating someone who’s trans or otherwise lgbt, you wouldn’t be part of lgbt."
okay this is gonna veer off topic from the ace thing but I just gotta say: WHAT??? you think dating a trans person makes you part of the lgbt community??? if a completely straight man dated a trans woman, that would not inherently make him lgbt: to say otherwise is to imply that his girlfriend is not a real woman and that is, y'know, pretty transphobic. jesus christ.
"But being just ace or aro isn’t quite as qualifying as a lot of aspec think it is."
who are you to come up to me and say you know our experiences better than we do??? who made you the expert on what it's like to live as an aspec person???
it's very ironic that you are talking about what you think our experiences are without actually having the perspective of what it's like to be us, immediately before claiming that we do that to the rest of the queer community.
"Unfortunately We’ve seen a lot of aspec people say things against trans and gay from perspective that cannot truly give them say."
this is not unique to aspecs; unless you are somehow every single lgbtq+ identity all at once, there are gonna be some experiences you don't understand and can't speak on. like, cis gays say shit about trans people despite not knowing what it's like to be trans all the fucking time. and some of them are, in fact, extremely fucking transphobic! you would (hopefully!!!) not say that all lesbians should be kicked out of the queer community just because some individual lesbians are terfs; after all, why should an entire orientation be kicked out the community just because a few assholes happen to also use that label?
"Unfortunately we’ve seen aspec admit to believing in “drop the t” while screaming acecourse and wanting to stop feeling oppression."
again, a few shitty individuals does not mean an entire orientation is bad. and honestly i saw A LOT less transphobia from the ace and aro community than i did from cis gay men and lesbians. and many of those shitty "ace people" were very obvious troll blogs but yinz were too blinded by your search for reasons to hate us that you missed it. this is not to say there weren't ANY shitty ace people, because every label with more than a few dozen people using it is gonna have some horrible people, but this problem was not uniquely bad in the aspec community.
"preaching drop the t or claiming transmed arguments against a community that actually deserves support."
(lumping this one in with the previous two) again, in my anecdotal experience, the aspec community actually tended to be more accepting about that kind of shit than a lot of the general lgbt community was. a lot of cis gay people were transphobic and a lot of binary trans people were transmeds/hated nonbinaries (and again! this does not mean that gay ppl and binary trans people are bad! a few assholes does not make an identity bad!). asexuals, aromantics, nonbinaries, (and sometimes bi/pan/etc. people) were often all lumped together as cringy trendy tumblr identities and spat on by the rest of the community. i, in my anecdotal experience, saw very few ace inclusionists (let alone actual asexuals) be shitty about nonbinary people. almost all of the transmedicalists i have come across have also been exclusionsists.
"A lot of the problems with acecourse are that aspec still receive worlds more respect and validity from outside communities because from those outside perspectives at least they aren’t gay or trans degenerates and perverts."
show me where the fuck that respect and validity is. cuz i sure as hell haven't received it. i've been told i was going to hell for "ignoring gods plan" because i didn't plan to get straight married and produce children (and this was before i realized i was trans!). i tend to hide my sexuality from bigots just like i hide my gender, but sometimes i bare myself to the wrong people and i get backlash for BOTH of those things, treated like i'm broken or a freak or degenerate. and you might say "but doesn't the bible encourage celibacy?" but the thing is, most bigots don't actually care about what their holy text says and really just use it as an excuse to persecute minorities that they already find repulsive.
"because it was playing with the fact that straight people were identifying themselves as ace to put themselves within the community because it was in fact trendy and all of a sudden they could reap the benefits of attention coming with being seen as valid by a large part of the tumblr community, while also spreading hate and opression"
straight people can also just straightup lie. like, a cishet girl could log on here and pretend to be a bisexual trans woman and no one could prove that wrong. it's the internet. lying like that to spread hate would actually be A LOT easier than claiming to be an identity that was already facing scrutiny. like, asexuality is not the only orientation a cishet person could call themself online.
not to mention how similar a lot of your sentence sounds to the shit people have said about nonbinaries. i lived through the "nonbinaries are just cis girls lying for attention" era on here. this is a recycled argument.
-----
read this and take it to heart. then read some of the notes of that post and listen to the aspecs there talk about the bigotry they have faced, both offline and online, from lgbt+ people and from cishets. don't act like you know our experiences better than we do.
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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years ago
Text
the type you bring home to mom ~ eddie kaspbrak;it chapter two
word count: 2361
request?: no
description: in which he finally brings his girlfriend home to his over protective mother, and it goes exactly as he thought it would
pairing: teen!eddie kasprak x female!reader
warnings: swearing, overbearing mother, derogatory name calling (i guess?), basically eddie’s mom just sucking
masterlist (one, two)
note: (y/n/p) = your parents’ names
Tumblr media
I played with the hem of my dress as I walked up to the Kaspbrak household. I was regretting my choice in wardrobe, but it was too late to change now. I knew nothing would feel right anyways, I had already changed three times before I came over.
For the first time in our year long relationship, I was meeting Eddie’s mother. We had somehow managed to keep our relationship a secret for so long that I never felt like I had to meet her, and Eddie wasn’t exactly pushing for it either. As much as he loved his mom, he also knew she was manipulative and overbearing, and he often told me how he was afraid of his mom scaring me off because of these facts.
When the news eventually got out and travelled quickly through the small town of Derry, as gossip usually does, it got to Ms. Kaspbrak in no time. She immediately demanded to meet me, and Eddie set up a dinner at his house for the occasion.
Before I could even knock on the door, it swung open to reveal my tall boyfriend smiling down at me. Any tension I had melted away as I looked up at him, into those beautiful eyes that could calm me down whenever they were on me. He took my face in his hands and pulled me to kiss him. It was such a normal action that, at first, I leaned into it happily, until I realized the circumstances of my visit and quickly pushed him away.
“She’s not here,” he said, as if reading my worried thoughts. “She’s gone out to get some stuff for dinner.”
He stepped aside to let me step into the house. It wasn’t unfamiliar territory; Eddie and I had had many rendezvous there during the rare moments when his mom wasn’t home, but it felt wrong to be there on this occasion. I just wanted it to end already, and to go home or go for a long drive with Eddie.
“Come, sit,” he said, leading me to his living room. We sat close to one another on the couch, so close that we were just barley touching. Feeling his arm brush against mine sent sparks through me.
“How worried should I be?” I asked him, trying to remain as light as possible.
He sighed and shuffled in his seat. “I wish I could tell you not at all, but...”
He trailed off so I finished his sentence for him, “But it’s your mom.”
Eddie nodded. “But it’s my mom.”
One of his arms was around my waist. I hadn’t realized that the skirt of my dress had hiked up a little until the hand around my waist started to play with the hem, his fingertips brushing against my ass. His other hand touched my leg, starting lightly on my knee and then slowly travelling up my thigh till it stopped on my inner thigh. I shivered, wanting him to go further.
Most people who knew him would never believe that Eddie Kaspbrak, the hypochondriac, fast talking, former sheltered mama’s boy, would be absolutely mind blowing in bed, and constantly handsy whenever we were alone. I hadn’t even believed it until we got together, but man, Eddie knew how to make me feel absolutely amazing.
He leaned forward to kiss my neck, his fingers tracing circles in my inner thigh. I was shivering with anticipation and whimpers were escaping my lips. I could feel Eddie’s amused smirk against my neck as he placed another kiss there and lifted his head to look at me. He kissed my lips and his hand finally made its way further up my skirt.
Our moment was interrupted by the sound of a car door slamming. I practically jumped to the other side of the couch, touching my neck in hopes that he hadn’t accidentally left hickies there.
“You’re good,” he said, understanding what I had been doing.
The front door opened and I suddenly felt paralyzed. I wasn’t sure if I should stand up or stay sat down, if I should move even further away from Eddie or stay exactly where I was. In the end, I stayed frozen like a deer in headlights as his mom rounded the corner, arms full of grocery bags.
“Oh,” she said when her eyes landed on me. “Is this...her?”
There was a slight leer to the way she said “her”, which made me want to squirm under her intense gaze.
“Mom,” Eddie said, a partial warning tone in his voice, “this is (Y/N), my girlfriend.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Kaspbrak,” I said. “Do you, um, need any help with - ”
“No,” she cut me off. “I have it. You’re early.”
“I told her this is when to get here,” Eddie defended. “You wouldn’t tell me exactly when to invite her over.”
“Well, this is hardly dinner time,” his mother huffed. “It’ll take me a while to get dinner ready.”
“I can help,” I offered again.
“No,” she said, sharply, which told me that was the end of the matter.
I shrunk down in my spot on the couch.
“Mom,” Eddie snapped again.
She glared at me before turning to her son, trying to soften her expression for him. “I’ll let you know when the food is ready. For now...stay here.”
When she disappeared into the kitchen, Eddie immediately moved to sit next to me and took my hand in his.
“I’m okay,” I assured him. “I’ll get through it. It’s just dinner then we’re done, right?”
He nodded, but I could see the worry on his face still.
A while later, Ms. Kaspbrak called to tell us dinner was ready. She had made sure to place everything so that Eddie and I were sat at the heads of the table, far apart from one another, while she was sat between us. Eddie and I shared a look before sitting in our designated spots.
Dinner started with awkward silence besides our cutlery against the plates. I tried to keep my attention on my plate, but every so often I’d glance up at the Kaspbraks to see Eddie nervously glancing between me and his mother, and his mom just glaring daggers at me. The nervousness I was feeling took away my appetite, but I felt like I had to eat everything to make a good impression, if that was even possible.
“So,” Ms. Kaspbrak said, drawing our attention to her, “(Y/N). Your parents are (Y/P/N), right?”
She already knew the answer to this question. I had grown up in Derry, where everyone knew everyone. There was a reason she was asking, and I had a feeling I already knew what that reason was.
“They are, yeah,” I responded.
“And they’re divorced, aren’t they?”
“Mom!” Eddie groaned.
“It’s just a question, Eddie,” his mom said.
“It’s okay,” I said with a shrug. “I don’t mind talking about it. That’s kind of old news anyways. They divorced when I was 10, dad moved to the next town over and mom got full custody of me.”
“That doesn’t seem like a very stable upbringing,” Ms. Kaspbrak commented. “I’m sure it’s taken such a toll on you, you must’ve decided to rebel somehow.”
Eddie put his face in his hands, officially admitting defeat on trying to stop his mother.
“Actually it wasn’t anything like that,” I said. “Mom and dad stayed pretty civil. There wasn’t any big fight or anything, just an agreement that they’re better off not being married. When dad moved he made sure to stay in constant contact, and comes to visit all the time or I’d go to visit him. Mom always made sure I had a roof over my head and food on the table. They both love me unconditionally, even if they’re not together.”
Ms. Kaspbrak sat back in her seat, a sour look on her face. “Well...regardless, it’s just not right to be raised by a single mother.”
Feeling a bit brave, I raised an eyebrow at her. “Eddie was raised by a single mother.”
“That’s different. My husband died, he didn’t decide to abandon me and Eddie.”
“My dad didn’t abandon us, he’s still very much a part of our lives.”
She ignored me and continued to eat. I looked across the table at Eddie to see him avoiding all eye contact with either of us as he pushed his food around on his plate. As if feeling my gaze, he looked up at me. I gave him a small smile to try and indicate that I wasn’t upset with him. I wanted him to know everything was going to be okay, even if I didn’t fully believe it myself.
“How many boys have you had sex with, (Y/N)?”
The question caught me off guard and I nearly choked on the food I had just put in my mouth.
“Jesus Christ, mom!” Eddie snapped.
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vein, Edward,” his mother chastised him.
“You can’t just ask something like that, mom, that’s none of your business.”
“Of course it’s my business. I need to make sure my son isn’t dating a slut. I remember you were friends with Beverly March before she moved away, and trust me, I heard all sorts of stories about her. Anyone who would hang around with her must be somewhat similar.”
The mention of the untrue bullshit that used to be spread about Bev made the anger within me bubble over. I was seeing red as I looked up at Ms. Kaspbrak, and I was ready to pounce.
“Actually, your son took my virginity, and I took his,” I told her. “And we have sex quite a lot, sometimes upstairs in his bedroom when you’re not home. Although, for someone who says he was a virgin I don’t know how much I believe it. Eddie has done things that I don’t even think the most experienced of people could do.”
If he was upset with me for saying all of this, Eddie’s face didn’t show it. He was sipping on his water, trying to hide the smug smile that broke out across his face.
Ms. Kaspbrak’s face turned blood red before she rose from the table. “Get the fuck out of my house!”
“Gladly,” I said, abandoning my dinner to quickly leave the shitty situation.
“And don’t you dare come anywhere near my son again, or else I will have the cops on you!” she threatened.
I stopped and turned back to face her. “For what? For dating your son? For showing him that there’s someone who actually cares about him without manipulating him? For finally cutting the cord that you’ve had wrapped around his neck since he was born? Ms. Kaspbrak, I understand that you’re afraid to lose your son the way you lost your husband, but being a manipulative bitch who forced him to think he had illnesses he didn’t have for years and insulting his girlfriend in front of him is not the way to keep him around. Eddie is 18 years old, he’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants, which includes dating whoever he wants and leaving this hell hole that you have the audacity to call a home. The day that you finally accept that just might be the day that Eddie finally considers you to be an actual mother.”
And with that, I decided not to overstay my welcome and left.
I was only a few feet away from Eddie’s house when I heard him calling after me. I slowed my pace just enough that he could catch up with me, but didn’t completely stop. I wanted to put as much distance between myself and the Kaspbrak house as I could.
“I’m sorry,” I sighed as he fell in step next to me.
“For what?” Eddie asked. “I should be the one apologizing to you.”
“You warned me on how she would be, and I still let her get to me,” I said. “I probably made having to live there a whole lot harder.”
“It was hard to begin with, (Y/N). Nothing could make it harder than what it was,” he told me. “What you said, it was all true. Mom needed to hear that. Doesn’t mean she liked hearing it, or that she’ll actually accept it, but she needed to hear it none the less.”
“I guess I could’ve said it nicer,” I said. “Or at least not included details of our sex life.”
Eddie awkwardly chuckled. “Yeah, could’ve done without mom knowing I’m a sex god.”
I gave him a look and playfully nudged him. “I never said you were a sex god.”
“Eddie has done things that I don’t even think the most experienced of people could do I believe were your exact words.”
“I only said that to make her more upset.”
“So you’re saying I’m bad at sex?”
I pushed him again. “Eddie!”
He laughed and put an arm around my waist. “I appreciate the compliment either way. And I hope you know how much I love you.”
I smiled up at him and leaned into his touch. “I love you, too.”
We walked in silence for a while and, before I knew it, we were at my house. We stopped and turned to face each other.
“Want to stay over tonight?” I asked. “I figure going home isn’t exactly the best option right now.”
“It’s not,” he agreed. “Will your mom be okay with it?”
“Of course she will, she loves you. She’ll probably even cover for you if your mom calls.”
“I take it back, I don’t love you. I love your mom.”
“And I take back my offer. Go sleep on the streets.”
I took off for my front door with Eddie hot on my trail. I tried to open it and lock him out before he caught up to me, but of course his long legs gave him an advantage. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me away from the door, both of our laughs ringing out through the otherwise quiet neighborhood.
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arvinsescape · 3 years ago
Note
I loooooove your writing! Could you maybe do like a period simulator with Tom and co, like maybe they made a comment that it’s not even bad but you took it the wrong way and it’s like ‘oh okay…you think YOU could handle it. Put your money where your mouth is big guy’
A/N: I actually love watching these kind of videos, I find them hilarious! I hope you enjoy 💕
Warnings: Swearing.
You were curled into yourself on the couch, a wave of period pain having hit you hard. You always got bad period pains, they could be awful and made you want to spend all day in the house and in bed. You lived with the boys and it was great, truly but sometimes they could be such boys.
"What's the matter with you?" Haz asked as he sat next to you.
"Cramps." You muttered out and he furrowed his brows.
"You ill?" He asked as Tom appeared, handing you a hot water bottle.
"Thank you baby. No, not really." You answered as Tom sat himself down and found something to watch.
"Oh." Harrison dragged out as realisation dawned on him. You laughed at his reaction as the rest of the boys appeared in the living room. Harry and Harrison's girlfriends appearing, throwing you a bunch of chocolate they'd just been to the shop for.
"Thank you." You said happily as you grabbed a bar and started eating it. It wasn't long before a fresh wave of cramps hit you, causing you to clutch your stomach.
"Is it really so bad?" Harrison asked and all girls snapped their heads in his direction, eyebrows raised. Tom looked at Harrison before shaking his head.
"Yeah, it's horrible." You said and Haz's girlfriend hummed in agreement.
"Like how bad though?" Haz pushed and Tom laughed out as he shook his head, he knew they were bad for you. He'd seen some of your worst periods so he knew they were bad.
"Like it feels like your having your entire uterus ripped out sometimes." Haz's girlfriend said.
"I just don't see how they can be so bad." Harry said, you were sure he didn't mean anything by it but given the fact that you were on your period, you may have taken it slightly to heart.
"I bet you couldn't handle it." You stated and Harry laughed.
"Bet I could." He fired back.
"We'll see." You said ominously and Tom burst into a fit of laughter.
"That sounded threatening."
**
It was three days later, you'd had to wait on delivery for the period simulator, you'd seen the videos circulating online and decided it might be a fun thing to give the fans as content.
"Right," you said as you made your way into the living room, all heads snapping your way. Grace had a smile on her face, she knew what the plan was and she was all for it. "Here," you handed the device to Harry who looked at you with furrowed brows. "Let's see if you can handle it." You said with a smug grin.
"Serious? Is this one of those simulators?" He asked and you nodded. "Wait, I want you to try it first." He said as he handed it back to you and you shrugged before attaching yourself to it. "Okay, off we go." Harry said, device to control the levels in his hand.
You felt the discomfort start but it was nothing compared to what you usually put up with. Grace looking at you with a smug smile, she knew you were going to show them up. Harry continued to casually up the numbers, it wasn't until around the number eight that you started to really feel it, it was like being on your period all over again.
"Okay, that's about where I'm at." You stated and Harry looked at you, the device had ten settings, apparently ten was supposed to resemble childbirth but you could neither confirm nor deny that claim. "Keep going." You encouraged and Harry did.
Number nine felt horrid and almost had you wincing but you held strong, you could handle it. It was number ten that genuinely had you in almost tears, but you'd done all of them, you doubted the boys would be able to follow.
"Okay, that's all ten. I reckon I could do it." Harry said smugly, Tom had an impressed look on his face, he knew people who had used these things and heard how painful they could be.
"Go ahead." You teased as you swapped what you were both holding. Harry hooked himself up, giving you a thumbs up as you started at level one. He gave a small grimace but nothing more, it wasn't until level four that he started hissing in pain.
"Shit, that's actually painful." He said and all the girls laughed. "What number is that? Ten right?" He asked cockily.
"Four." You confirmed with a small grin, his face dropped at the news. "No way." He said and you laughed again as you upped the level. He cried out as he clutched at his stomach, head shaking as Tom burst into laughter.
"Okay, no. That's enough. You're right, I can't handle it." Harry said and you switched it off, laughs filling the room. "I bet I've done better than you guys." Harry said and of course being the competitive lads they were they accepted the challenge.
"You've got his babe." You encouraged your boyfriend who grinned at you and shot you a wink.
Tom got to five himself before he was clutching at his stomach and rubbing his thighs.
"What the fuck? Why do my thighs hurt?" Tom exclaimed and Harry pointed at him.
"Right? What is that all about?" He asked and his girlfriend fell into a fit of laughter.
"Yeah, it's not just our stomach's that hurt you know." She said as she kissed her boyfriends cheek.
He managed a six, wanting to out do his brother if only by one and you laughed as he shook his head when you went to up it again.
"What was your level of pain?" He asked as he sat next to you.
"Eight." You confirmed.
"Fucking hell. Now I really feel for you." He said as he pulled you into his side.
"My turn." Tuwaine said, sounding pumped. "I'm gonna smash this, I've broken a wrist." He said and Tom laughed.
"I have broken many bones and I would take it over that."
Tuwaine managed a four, he was somewhat disappointed in himself. You laughed as you watched him cave, giving in.
"No, fuck that shit." He said as he handed the device to Sam. "Why do things ache that shouldn't? I'm glad I've never doubted how bad they are" He laughed.
"Right?" Both Tom and Harry shouted.
Sam also stopped at four, adding to the boys revelation that more things than just your stomach hurt.
"Imagine back pain factored into that." Grace laughed.
"And the super tender tits." Harry's girlfriend added as you all fell into a fit of giggles.
"Yeah, I take my hat off to you." Sam said as he passed it to Harrison, the last contender.
"I can do this. I'm the strongest." He laughed as he flexed his bicep.
"Don't think strength has much to do with it." Tom laughed as he lazily ran his fingers over your arm. "Y/N currently holds the record." He said with pride, "and I'm stronger than she is." He added in a teasing tone.
"You wish." You said as you playfully punched his chest and he laughed as he grabbed your fist and playfully restrained you before placing a series of kisses to your face.
"Guys, my turn." Harrison laughed and you giggled before Tom released you and snapped his attention back to his friend.
Harrison was quite funny to watch, he got to five, without making a noise. But every single person in the room knew he was in pain, face red as he bit harshly into his lip.
"That hurt a bit mate?" Sam teased and you all laughed as Harrison shook his head, too afraid to speak. You upped the level and watched as he curled into himself but he didn't give. "You can give in you know." Sam added and all he got was a shake of the head in response. It was when he got to seven that he cracked.
"Jesus fucking christ." He exclaimed as he fell to his knee on the floor. "I'm out, I'm done. That was horrible. Pure torture." He said as he practically ripped the device from himself. "What'd I get?"
"Seven." You said.
"Suck it Holland." Haz cheered as he threw a middle finger up at his friend.
"Still couldn't beat my girl though could you?" Tom teased with a finger back.
"By one!" Harrison said and Sam laughed out loudly.
"No, she did all ten. Eight was about where her pain is but she still did all ten." Sam defended you.
"I still don't get it," Harry piped up. "Why do your thighs hurt?" He started again as you all fell into laughter. You couldn't wait to upload the video later. The room bursting into chatter about the pain their partners felt on a monthly basis. Safe to say you proved them wrong.
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matryosika · 4 years ago
Text
shoot me, chapter IV
pairing — changbin x reader
rating — 18+
genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint
prologue chapter I chapter II chapter III chapter IV
word count for this chapter — 4.5 k
warnings — masochism, choking, thigh riding, marking, humilliation, daddy kink, mild praising, kind of harddom!changbin, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of ownership and possessiveness... i think that's it!
note — i have so many ideas in my head that i think i'm failing to land on this series but today i decided to change the dynamic of the chapter a little bit and make the first part of it from changbin's kind-of-perspective so you could understand what's going on behind the actions of the man himself. the whole chapter is filthy smut honestly, i hope you enjoy it tho!
taglist: @cozyblues @ahgasearmyfan @binnie-m00n @minaamhh
*
[12:17 a.m. Changbin]
i don't think we should to that again
it was a mistake
i just needed to vent but honestly, getting with you can really damage my future and that's not something i'm willing to jeopardize for sex.
the dark-haired man held his phone to his chest as he thought about the words of the message that he just sent you.
it wasn't a lie though, the fact that he was afraid to fuck up his future for a night of sex, but his insides were on fire everytime he was near you, his soul aching for the same thing his mind wanted.
before you could even reply his dry messages, changbin got on his car and drove all the way to his place, contemplating on whether he should have a drink or two to try and deal with the mess of the decisions he was making.
he knew it wasn't going to be easy to have self-control around you specially because he was doomed to see you almost on a daily basis at arthur's house or the company, that being the main reason behind why he decided to send that message: because he didn't wanted things to get uncomfortable at places where the two of you should act like a couple of good friends, and nothing more.
he didn't went to your place because he needed to vent or fix his sexual frustrations with your body; he went there because, after the night of the bar, he couldn't forget the image of you as a goddess. he couldn't forget your taste, your skin, the way your hips involuntarily grinded while he was eating you out, your body following every order he gave you as if your only purpose in life was to satisfy him.
and as the days passed by, it was harder and harder for him to repress the idea of you in his bed. him owning your body, fucking you countless days and nights. the more he got the know you, the more his desires increased; even when you were talking about your childhood memories at seoul with changbin's parents in an attempt to try and avoid any kind of conversation with him, he couldn't stop thinking how attractive you were to his eyes.
*
Changbin's perspective
[9:54 p.m. Changbin]
i'm here
don't take too long
changbin rested his whole body weight on the drivers seat, ready to wait for -at least- another 15 minutes to be able to drive to chan's house. he was certain you were going to be there as ryujin told chan, and chan told him.
he knew all along that he wanted to have you in any way, but he also knew that his pride wouldn't allow him to make the first move after he was the one who cutted any kind of sexual ties between the two of you.
after 2 minutes, and for changbin's surprise, soyeon didn't took any longer to appear at the lobby of her complex, waving goodbye at the doorman.
"you didn't took long" changbin said, waiting for her to get inside the car.
"you were the one who made me wait" soyeon replied, getting comfortable at the car's seat.
"yeah i had things to do" the man replied as he started to drive towards chan's party that wasn't too far from the place he was at now. soyeon was changbin's best friend since highschool, something strange because he was never too fond of hanging out with women in a way that wasn't entirely sexual.
"so" the blonde one mumbled "you do realize that this plan is pathetic?"
changbin scoffed as his eyes were fixed on the road "if you don't want to help me just say so"
"it's not that" she replied "it's just that is ten times easier to just approach her than to try and make her jealous just to see if she approaches you first. not only is easier but more... mature"
"do you really want to talk about maturity, soyeon?" changbin teased "that's bold coming from the girl who breaks up with her partner every 3 weeks and then gets back together"
"you don't have to be mean" she pouted, giving changbin a soft hit on his arm. "i'm trying my best"
changbin exhaled harshly as he was looking for a place to park his car. "you don't have to do anything, just act like you are with me"
"you are so lame" soyeon said, getting ready to leave the car as changbin finished parking "i really hope she is with another man too so you can cut the crap and act like a man your age"
"whatever"
changbin left the car and opened the door for the girl to get out too. the party had started, at least, 2 hours ago so he knew he was late and everyone else was probably drunk already. not that he cared though.
soyeon entered the house grabbing changbin's left arm, her eyes dancing around the crowded living room trying to catch a glimpse of the girl that was making changbin act like a highschooler. "it would be very useful if you told me how the fuck does she looks like" she screamed, squirming and dodging the drunk people that were dancing around in the living room.
"don't act too obvious" changbin muttered in her ear "i'm not even sure she is still here, she probably left.
changbin and soyeon walked further into the house as they greeted chan and the rest of the boys, congratulating jeongin on his birthday who was too drunk to even reply.
"there's alcohol in the kitchen and the courtyard, if you want to start there" chan said, ryujin gripping his arm while she ocasionally stumbled on her place.
"you got a girlfriend?" ryujin asked without remorse, pointing at soyeon with her index finger "jesus christ i knew you were a dick"
soyeon looked at her and then at changbin, unsure of what to reply or say. not that she needed to, since ryujin started talking again right after she insulted changbin.
"i'm glad i was smart enough to convince y/n to come to this party, at least she met a man who is going to-"
"okay that's enough" chan said, him being a little more lucid than her. "she is drunk, i'm sorry"
"no worries" soyeon said, watching how chan and ryujin dissapeared into the crowd of people.
"do they know about your little obsession with her?" the blonde one asked, changbin's eyes scanning the whole room.
"i just told chan that i wanted to fuck her, i guess y/n told her the whole story to chan's date. it is her bestfriend, apparently"
"oh"
changbin and soyeon walked to the kitchen to grab a drink, since it was closer than the courtyard. after a few minutes, the search for you was usuccesful and changbin came to the conclusion that you probably left earlier with the mysterious man ryujin said.
"well, pathetic boy" soyeon mumbled "you are already here, you might as well have a little of fun, take a girl home... i don't know what you straight people do" she extended her hand to him, inviting changbin to join her at the courtyard for a dance.
as she guided him through the living room and into the patio, changbin's body was quick to react when she saw you with jisung. his whole body tensed up, making sure to grab soyeon as close as he could to pretend that he wasn't alone.
"hey man i'm not-" soyeon reproached as changbin's hand traveled to her waist, his body pressing against hers. she directed his gaze as to where changbin's eyes were fixed and it took her a lot of self-control to not start bursting of laughter. "fuck changbin, you have good taste"
"shut up" y/n was now looking directly at changbin and his partner while she danced against jisung's body. changbin couldn't see his face, but he knew immediatly who he was by the undercut and clothes the man was wearing.
"seems like my pleas were answered" his bestfriend whispered, getting more into the role of a straight-girl-crazy-about-changbin character as she rested her head on his shoulder. "better luck the next time i guess"
y/n eyes drifted away from changbin's as she turned around to stop facing the couple. her back was now against jisung's chest, her ass grinding on him slowly as the song progressed.
"this is so funny"
but it wasn't funny for changbin, his whole body ablazing because of the anger and jealousy he was feeling. watching you dance with another man was exactly what was needed for him to confront his pride, as the only thing he could think of was to drag you out of the party and fuck you mercilessly until the only thing you could remember was his name.
just a few seconds later, the image he was fearing the most was now presenting itself in front of his eyes. your sweet lips dancing around jisung's as his hands were resting on your waist eager to travel to other places.
"i think i saw hyunjin inside" soyeon mumbled, escaping the unpleaseant (but funny) scene of his best friend going completely jealous over a girl.
changbin needed to do something, and he needed to do it now.
*
y/n perspective
"please ruin me" you whispered, your soul immersed in arousal, guilt and regret.
"you shouldn't have said that, y/n" changbin growled as he gripped your hair to pull you in for a kiss. the touch of his hands burned on your skin deliciously, feeling the electricity traveling through your veins and into your core. the kiss was rough, and you couldn't help but whimper as you felt the fabric of his clothes against your naked skin, reminding you of how good it felt to be vulnerable in front of him.
his lips went from yours to your neck really quick, peppering kisses on the surface as he licked and sucked on the exposed skin. "if i'm going too far, you can stop me anytime" he exhaled, his teeth picking up the skin under your jawline softly.
you nodded as he worked on your neck, getting soft moans and cries out of you.
"can i please mark you?" he asked, with a broken voice as if he was running out of air, desperate to continue exploring your body. marking. the idea of being covered in faint bruises because of him only contributed to your arousal even more.
"go ahead" you moan "make sure they are visible enough"
changbin smirked against your neck as his grasp on your ass got harder. you couldn't help to flinch a little when he started to suck harshly on your neck, but he was quick to wrap his arms around you to keep you in place. the mere thought of him causing you this kind of pleasure, mixed with pain, made you squeeze your thighs together.
"god" you moaned, grabbing his hair and pushing him to keep marking you "fuck, that hurts" it did, but you didn't wanted to stop.
"it is supposed to hurt, precious" changbin said, his arms still holding you thight as he created a masterpiece on your naked skin "that's the only way you will remember who you belong to and who made you feel this good"
changbin's hands toured the sides of your body and your back, unclenching the piece of underwear that was blocking him to keep kissing your skin.
"your body is always ready for me" he mumbled, your nipples hardening at the mere sound of his raspy voice "look precious, you are so good"
you couldn't help but whine at the cold sensation of changbin's finger rings that were caressing and teasing your hardened buds. "you look so... fragile"
"you don't have to be gentle with me" you moaned in frustration, almost begging for his tongue to make contact where you needed you the most. "i don't break easily"
changbin looked at you with the darkest gaze he had ever give you. "you have no idea where you are getting into by saying those words, y/n"
changbin's mouth approached one of your nipples as he lazily dragged his tongue around it. his fingers traveled to the opposite side, caressing and playing with your other bud.
"fuck, that feels good"
finally, his tongue made contact where you needed it the most, giving small and quick licks that were starting to drive you insane. you always knew how sensitive you were, specially in that area, and now that changbin knew this it was kind of dangerous.
"who is making you feel this good, hm?" he hummed, his mouth alternating between places.
"i don't like you" you moaned, screaming the last word as changbin aggressively sucked on your chest leaving a faint mark.
"you don't? and you are this worked up?" he asked with a mocking tone, his senses intoxicated with your scent.
"matter of fact i hate you" you mumbled, trying to repress your moans "don't think you are the only person in this world who can satisfy me"
changbin planted a tiny kiss on your shoulder as he proceeded to rest his whole weight on the couch, manspreading for you. "take that off" he ordered, pointing out your panties.
you did as you were told, dragging your damped underwear through your legs and removing it in front of him. now being completely naked, his hand palmed his left thigh "come here"
you placed both your legs on each side of his thigh as your wet core made contact with the fabric of his black jeans, the sole movement making you whine and involuntarily grind against him. "show me how much you hate me"
you swallowed hard unsure of what to do next, his arms now crossed in front of his chest.
"how do... you want me to do that?" you asked quietly, feeling how your juices were probably making a mess on his clothes.
"ride my thigh" changbin ordered, giving you a condescending look "prove me that you can satisfy yourself better than i can"
you licked your lips nervously as your breath caught up on your throat. you knew perfectly that you couldn't do that, you needed changbin's help to cum and if you didn't, he would probably humilliate you for it.
"go on, precious. as much as i would love to stay here all night i have plenty of ideas to ruin that filthy pride of you" your core rubbed against his thigh almost unconciously, your hands traveling to his shoulders for support. "hmmmm" he hummed, grabbing both of your wrists and slowly placing your arms behind your back "you can do it by yourself"
the lack of help from changbin and the fact that your whole body had no support only made things harder. your hips grinded against him at a painfully slow pace while your hands were behind your back, changbin enjoying the view of your whole body trying to pathetically get any pleasure from him.
"i need to hold onto something" you cried, the frustration increasing as your clit grazed ever-so-slightly against him "please"
after that plea, you felt changbin's grip on your throat again "this should do precious" he muttered.
thankfully, changbin's hold on your neck gave you the tinniest bit of support, your hips moving now faster against his thigh.
"fuck da-"your breath got caught up on your throat, partly because of changbin's grip making it impossible for you to talk and partly because the petname that was about to leave your lips was rather embarassing.
"what was that, princess?" he asked, amused. he wasn't doing anything other than having you fucking his thigh, but he couldn't deny the painful bulge inside his pants that was driving him insane.
"it was nothing" you whispered in between broken moans.
"say it" he ordered, "say it and i might reward you with something"
you bit your lips attempting to refrain from saying anything else, your core clenching around thin air as your fluids damped his jeans. "fuck daddy" you whisper, almost inaudible.
"louder" he demmanded, his hands leaving your neck to place themselves on your hips, guiding your movements against his body while he flexed his thigh making the contact between your core 10 times deeper.
"yes, daddy" you whined, almost to the point of screaming at the feeling of his hands harshly guiding your whole movements "this feels so fucking good"
"my poor baby can't do anything by herself?" he grunted, admiring the image of your breasts swinging as your body grinded on his thigh "does daddy has to do everything for her?"
the way he used his own petname sent you to cloud 9, only making you wetter.
"i'm sorry daddy" you cried, your head falling slightly back as you followed changbin's grip.
"you should be, y/n" changbin's voice getting deeper by the minute "because you look so pathetic right now"
the words that were leaving his lips only made you needier and contributed to your arousal to increase, the knot on your stomach threatening to come undone any second.
"i think i'm close" you whispered, your hands still behind your back.
"keep your eyes open and look at me" changbin ordered "i want you to remember who made you cum this hard without even touching you"
changbin's gaze was all you needed to come undone on his thighs, closing your eyes at the minute you felt the highest point of your orgasm hitting you "what do good girls like you must say?" he asked, getting even harder by the image of your trembling body orgasming in front of him.
"thank you daddy" you cried softly, your voice broken. "thank you, thank you, thank you"
there was nothing in this world that changbin loved more than your duality. how you would act dominant in every aspect of your daily life, but not when you were with him alone. you struggled to hide your pride, but once you did, changbin knew that you were fully submitted to him.
and you knew that too. as much as you hated him, he knew how to make you lose your senses and drift into a completely different state, one more vulnerable. 3 times it was all he needed for you to show him the purest side of you: the needy one, the submissive one, the one who needed to be completely ruined and taken care of at the same time.
"such an obedient whore" changbin moaned, pulling you into his arms to give you a kiss "do you think you can keep going, y/n?"
your legs were tired, but there was something that you had been craving since the night at the bar and there was no possible way you would leave his apartment without getting it.
"i'm can, daddy"
"good" he said, getting up from the couch and driving you to his bed. he didn't bothered to turn on the lights as the whole room was lit up by the window.
you came closer to start unbottoning his pants, craving to feel his length inside your mouth just like last time, but he was quick to grab your wrists "today it's not going to be about me" changbin mentioned, undressing slowly in front of you. "as much as i want to put that pretty mouth to good use, i have other plans in mind"
you rested your whole body on your forearms as your legs spreaded in front of him, exposing your whole naked body for changbin.
he drove one of his hands to his mouth and slightly spitted on it in order to stroke his cock to lubricate it, mixing his own saliva with the precum that was already dripping from him.
"you look so good in that position" he praised "your whole body ready for me to completely destroy it"
your nipples hardened at his words, and he was quick to notice it "i don't think jisung would have been able to make you feel this good"
you licked your lips at the confidence he exuded, even at moments like this. changbin's body aligned with yours, the tip of his cock rubbing against your wet folds, slipping with easiness "you are always so wet for me"
the frustration building up again just by feeling his cock against your entrance. you would be lying if you said you didn't thought about how it would feel to have him inside you, even if the idea scared you. it was a while since the last time you fucked and, to be honest, you didn't think you had done it properly. the only times you actually did it, it was completely hard for you to feel anything but pain, and that thought crossed your mind right before he could even get inside you.
"can i?" he asked, noticing how your face looked slightly terrified.
"changbin i-" you stopped before you could say something else. you tried your best to build up this confident sex-appealing character who, in reality, knew nothing about the practice of sex. it was going to be embarrassing to admit that you were -barely- a virgin, even though you actually weren't, to the man who just humilliated the shit out of you a few seconds ago.
"mhm precious?" he asked, a faint smirk appearing on his face.
"i- it's been a while since the last time i did it" you confessed, his smirk growing bigger. "it's not my first time, but let's just say that i have little to cero practice on this area"
it was embarassing to admit such a thing, but you were not open to have more bad experiences with sex. you expected for changbin to laugh at you, or act all cocky, but the smirk on his face was rather confusing. "i'll treat you well, precious" changbin said, sliding the tip of his cock against your core "can i?"
with a hesitant gaze, you nodded, your whole body squirming under his as you felt his cock stretching every wall inside you. changbin was big and it was painful, you couldn't lie. "you are taking me so well, precious"
soon, the painful feeling became pleasure. changbin wasn't moving at all, letting you get used to him inside you, but you quickly found yourself moving your hips in circular motions signaling that you were completely ready to take him.
slowly, his hips thrusted in and out of you. he needed to ruin you, he needed to go fast and rough on you, but your comfort was a priority for him. as much as he wanted to make a mess of you and make you scream in pain and pleasure, he was determined to control himself and his impulses.
"you are so fucking tight" he growled, trying to repress any sinful noises that could escape his lips.
"don't hold back" you whimpered, feeling how the pleasure and pain were finally becoming one. "do whatever you want with me but don't hold back"
"you don't know what you are asking for, precious" he scoffed, the feeling of his lenght being hugged by your warm walls almost driving him insane.
"i do" you moaned, looking directly into his eyes with the needier gaze he had ever seen in his life "i need you to ruin me like you promised me to, i know you can"
changbin licked his lips as his forearms rested on both sides of your head, his breath coming closer to yours "you have so little experience in this but i already made you a masochist, didn't i?"
changbin thrusted hard into you as he said the last sentence, earning a whiny moan out of you.
and, following your plea, his pace rapidly increase without a warning. your eyes rolled to the back of your head with each thrust, changbin going completely feral at the sight of his good girl begging for him to hurt her.
"faster... daddy" you cried, almost out of breath. the feeling was as humilliating as it was powerful. there was some comfort in knowing that you submitted completely for him, and that now he was going to show you how good he could make you feel.
"you are such a whore y/n" he moaned, his raspy voice turning deeper as he thrusted inside you. "my whore"
your fingers traveled all the way to your clit, rubbing it with circular motions as changbin's length was satisfying your hole "does that feel good precious?"
"it does daddy" you reply, words broken as the whines and moans wouldn't let you form decent sentences.
"you look so good being ruined by me"
there it was that familiar knot again, starting to come undone on your lower abdomen. by changbin's heavy breathing and sloppy thrusts you knew he was close too. "you feel so fucking good, y/n"
you bit your lips, your voice not being able to emit any sound at all because the pleasure was starting to become slightly overwhelming. it felt incredibly nice having him inside you, ruining you, destroying you. you felt powerless and at his mercy, ready to do anything just for him to praise you with a few words.
"i'm close again daddy"
as you said this, changbin's pace increased. his lips attached into yours, his tongue fighting to get that intoxicating taste of you once again. your whole body started to violently shake as you came undone changbin's arms holding you right in place so you wouldn't move. "that's my good slut" he praised.
tears started streaming down your face as you were at the highest point of your orgasm. "that's my good fucking slut, cuming on her daddy's cock" he grunted.
the overstimulation by his thrusts was soon to appear, making you squirm into his arms but trying to hold on so he could chase his high too. "y/n"
"changbin" you cried, your half-lidded eyes looking directly into his, that were now filled with desire.
"let me cum inside you" he asked, biting his lips and trying to control himself waiting for your answer.
the overstimulation began to feel like pleasure quickly again at his words, your core dripping even more your own juices with each thrust he gave you. "cum inside me, please daddy"
those words were all he needed to release himself inside your cunt, earning grunts and moans from him. the most beautiful sound you had ever heard.
"thank you daddy" you whined, feeling his hot cum dripping out of your pussy once he pulled himself out. "thank you so much daddy"
the mere perversed image of you with your legs parted, his own cum dripping out of you as your fingers traveled to your cunt to mix your arousal with his and then tasting it, was all he needed to convince himself that this was not going to be the last time to have you like this.
he needed to have the precious submissive girl who was in front of him, with her makeup and hair ruined, with her whole body dripping in sweat and his scent.
he needed to ruin you.
he needed to destroy you.
he needed to take care of you.
he needed to own you.
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neonponders · 3 years ago
Text
This isn’t what @memes-saved-me had in mind for this post but lol (read their tags, they’re delightful) 
Thinking about a younger Billy and an older Steve today ✨
✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨
Billy scratched at the hair on his nape. He wanted to grow it out; really had always wanted long hair. And now, as he peered at the other sophomores trying to fluff themselves bigger to match the juniors and seniors, he just might.
Long hair was in. Mullets, rock star manes, extensions - even the opposite. Women with buzz cuts and pixie faux hawks. Pleasant little surprises in Hawkins, Indiana, and Billy might finally indulge in that.
Plenty in this town was backwards as all hell. Girls wearing white stockings like it was the fifties. Boys and girls alike clearly letting having learned hair styling from their out-of-date parents. Two girls with beehives sat in his English class.
But it was fine, because there was plenty of present-day styling, and Billy wouldn’t get any shit at home for matching his peers.
Cherry Lane. The most backwards spot in Indiana.
But that’s okay, too, because small town people need occupations. Parties.
A cool senior with teased, black hair walked right up to him and handed him a neon orange sheet of paper. He saw others holding similar invitations all day. 
Party on Friday night. Address, dress code, and everything.
Caught him by surprise, that a dress code would be needed for one of these things, but the invitation just said ~casual attire~ and someone in his Advanced Biology class told him that Tina hosts the best shin digs, often with costume themes.
So he went. The late summer evening was still humid as all hell, making the party split between the massive house and the matching yard a convenient way to start a weekend.
He’d had alcohol before. Enough to know he preferred tequila drinks over vodka and gin, but the safest way to wake up the next day was to just stick to beer. No matter how bitter or sharply carbonated some of it was made.
Maybe that’s why he heard people hollering about King Steve.
Keg stands weren’t original to Hawkins, but Billy preferred them next to a bonfire on a beach. But people were really yelling for this king to do the damn thing - 
“Steve, why are you even here? You graduated in May,” Tina’s voice cut through the din.
“I live down the street! You really think you’re making this much noise without me noticing? And all of you shut the hell up! I’ll do a keg stand the day one of you dip shits can actually beat my record.”
Another surprise:
Steve Harrington.
Billy’s dumb luck had him three years behind, so he couldn’t look at that face in the hallways. Sit behind that head of glossy, bouncy hair in European History. He still lived in town, apparently. Right down the street. Billy asked around and discovered he worked at the mall and attended the community college -
“Heard you been asking about me.”
Billy stared wide-eyed over his beer. He recovered quickly, but not before Steve bounced on the balls of his feet, smug. That hair was really distracting.
These people really gossip about everything.
“I didn’t think anybody actually went by a title like that.”
“I didn’t put it on my resume, that’s for sure.” Steve’s smirk grew into a smile. Christ, the guy really had that Indiana, home town handsome thing to his face.
That was dangerous. Billy’s gut told him so, the way it bruised like someone had poked it. And wanted to be poked again.
“Let’s do this properly. Steve.” He held his hand out.
It wasn’t queer to accept a handshake. “Billy,” he replied.
“Hargrove?”
“Jesus,” he scoffed involuntarily, releasing Steve’s large hand. His weight shifted over his feet. “Everybody knows everything here.”
“Not everything,” Steve said. His voice sounded...reassuring? But the way his eyes blinked...and a darkness slipped behind his eyes like a curtain. Adults liked to call it maturity. Wisdom beyond years. Billy called it ghosts. Everyone had ghosts behind their eyes. But...he had a hard time imagining what ghosts this pretty senior in suburban America would already have.
Then again, Billy knew better.
Except, as the party progressed and the weekend flowed into a new week, Billy really couldn’t imagine what made Steve slouch a little, and what made his eyes fade out of a conversation. Billy probably should have put more attention into how much he’d begun seeking the guy out.
He worked in the ice cream parlor at the mall. The uniform was equal measures ridiculous and hilarious, but his coworker was cool as hell. Robin. Not Steve’s girlfriend, even though they carpooled to work and community college.
Steve’s house proved just as luxurious as Tina’s, with a pool to boot. A house which supposedly stayed empty more often than it hosted its own family. Steve notoriously didn’t host parties, which....seemed uniquely odd.
Apart from Billy visiting the ice cream shop, it seemed Steve’s only other visitors were high school freshman. Which was weird. That’s weird, right? Then again, Billy was ball and chained to eight hours a day, five days a week to high school. There was plenty of time for Steve to be with friends his own age.
Except he showed up at the next party on Halloween.
Tina’s house boasted a surprising number of Hawkins graduated seniors, forcing the party all the way out onto the street.
Just like before, Steve manifested beside Billy, announcing himself with fingertips brushing his slowly growing, weak little mullet. “Growing that out?”
Steve’s already heavy eyelids were heavier with alcohol. Billy had his customary cup of beer, but his cheeks flushed for a different reason. He had to rub the back of his neck to make the tickle stop.
“Yeah. Maybe it’ll touch my shoulders next year.”
“Have you trimmed it?”
Billy frowned at him. He’d heard some things come out of Steve’s mouth that were endearing in a ‘bless his heart’ kind of way, and this was among them. “No, that defeats the point of making it longer.”
Steve shook his head and waved for him to follow. “Come here. I’ll trim it.”
“You’re not cutting my hair,” Billy scoffed. And followed.
Upstairs.
Billy did his best not to look around the living room; to see any eyes apart from the ones he imagined on his backside. He followed at a leisurely pace. Not eager to be with King Harrington anywhere...
The guy walked right into the closed master bedroom. Billy stood outside of it, stunned at his audacity and the fact that no one was inside it already - 
“You coming?”
Billy’s not a coward -
Actually he is. But he’s an overeager sophomore with a dangerous crush even more.
Steve dug through the master bathroom’s drawers until he found a pair of scissors in their own case. “Sit on the tub.”
By tub, he meant jacuzzi edge. Billy perched. Steve gripped his shoulder to step into the tub with a comb that smelled of foreign hair product and aftershave. Billy’s nose wrinkled. “Wash that first.”
Then he jumped at the tub faucet turning on right beside his ass. Steve laughed. “Chill out. I’m washing it.”
Billy settled with a disgruntled shake of his head. “My hair is curly. You’re not supposed to brush it at all.”
“You’re in the hands of The Hair Harrington, sweetheart. Just relax.”
His shoulders sagged right underneath the weight of sweetheart.
I’m so screwed - 
Of all people to show up in the doorway, Robin from Scoops showed up with an energy that insinuated more sobriety than the guy wielding scissors.
Her mouth hung open like she had come with something to say, but then she sputtered through laughter. “Oh shit. Are you consenting to this?”
Billy rolled his eyes. “If he cuts my ear, I’m beating his ass.”
“I’d appreciate more faith from you, Buckley. I cut your bangs for you.”
Billy chirped, “Really?” admittedly feeling a bit better.
Steve intercepted with the order, “Are you gonna play music or what? I’m so tired of Tina’s music.”
That’s how Billy wound up in a bathroom with college freshmen trimming his ends and styling his hair while Steve and Robin shout-sang to Whitney Houston.
It was great.
Steve curled the top of his hair so he had ringlets falling over his bold brows. Steve, who had his hands all over Billy’s head until he washed the hair down the drain and filled the tub for a bubble bath. Billy scrutinized himself with a handheld mirror until Steve wrapped his arms around him and they tumbled backward into the wet landing.
Tina was hardly pleased to find the three of them making a mess of the jacuzzi, but she sassed a quick thank you for warding off people trying to fuck in her parents’ bed. Billy didn’t have words; only laughter at Robin putting her hair into a wet mohawk and Steve piling bubbles onto his head.
Steve insisted they go back to his house afterward. “It’s November and we’re soaked. Your car will be fine. I can come back and park it in my driveway if you’re that worried.”
That wasn’t the problem.
“It’s fine that your parents are never home, but mine will only recently lifted my curfew for good behavior.”
Somehow, he convinced Steve and Robin to drive him back to his house, at the expense of letting them change at Steve’s first. Billy had his eyes on a beautiful Camaro and was just a few more months of allowance and part time jobs away from having her.
It was his first time in Steve’s house. He had to admit, he preferred Tina’s layout and decor, but he got to wander around. He saw Robin use one of the guest rooms. He saw Steve’s....incredibly boring room. And said as much.
“A prison cell has more personality.”
Steve laughed. “Yeah, you’re right. Are you ready to go?”
It wasn’t until Billy lay in his own bed that those words tumbled through his brain. His fingertips moved through his still-styled hair. It felt better with those dead ends gone. Steve did a good job. Steve liked Whitney Houston and Blondie and a little of everything, really. Steve cared about his appearance enough to be a self-taught stylist.
Steve didn’t have a lot of furniture in his room. Clutter on the dresser and desk, sure, but all of it monochrome or neutral colors. Steve who had an old BMW, house, and surely a bank account to match, but didn’t buy anything in excess. Like he wasn’t allowed to, or something. Billy indulged every scent he got on things he wanted, but Steve didn’t.
Steve had a nailed bat in his trunk. Billy heard it rolling around on their way back to his house, and finally bent over to look under the seats and saw it.
Steve was a walking contradiction. A contradiction who smelled good but didn’t say much when Billy and Robin talked about history. Who started giving Billy free ice cream but never asked about Billy’s stepsister. Who gave Billy rides and gave him the hookup to the high-paying neighbors of Loch Nora for mowed lawns and dogs walked.
Steve helped him get his car sooner than he would’ve otherwise but didn’t ask for anything in return.
Steve, who was always available for a good time, but looked sad when left with his thoughts.
Billy didn’t take well to not being the center of attention. He’d grown up with an interrogation lamp over his head, and sought positive interaction everywhere else. He got so much of it from Steve, that the occasions where Steve bumped against him...refused him, or ignored him, or reminded Billy that he was a rinky dink sophomore lit a match in his belly. And he’d swallowed gasoline for too much of his life.
“That’s something a virgin says.”
Billy couldn’t even remember what he’d just said. He was already, instantly, seeing the glow of embers on the fringe of his vision. “Excuse me?”
Steve shrugged as he got up from his couch. “It’s whatever. It’s fine. Just showing your hand, is all.”
Billy couldn’t believe it. Steve was either the biggest idiot in Hawkins - which he knew wasn’t true considering there was a real cesspool that smoked underneath the bleachers - or he was so far in denial that Billy had a whole new reason to be pissed.
An involuntary sound left Steve when Billy came up behind him and pushed him against the wall underneath the stairs.
“You don’t know anything about me.”
Billy wasn’t some cute sophomore. He stood toe to toe with Steve, barely an inch shorter. If this is what it took for Steve to realize that, fine.
To realize that Billy wasn’t some teenager scared shitless of a girls’ bra -
Steve regained his footing, and closed the distance between their mouths. It was small, soft, and brief. Rationality should have made Billy step away. Punch him, maybe. But Billy wasn’t rational. His shock held him statuesque, barely breathing while Steve moved a hand to cradle the side of his head and neck -
A sound left Billy this time, as Steve angled his mouth over Billy’s. Where he learned Billy was scared, so scared of Steve. His body dashed rationality against the wall and kissed him back tentatively, and then earnestly, just trying to keep up until Steve’s other hand framed him in. As Steve pushed against him until Billy walked backwards to have himself pressed against the wall.
He felt drunk as his hands let go of Steve’s shirt to hold onto the curvature of his ribs. He panted while Steve kissed his throat and washed Billy’s senses with his warm, sweet fragrance; his hair brushing Billy’s face and inspiring him to turn his face into Steve’s scalp. Inhale him into his lungs.
Billy didn’t know what game they were playing. But Steve outplayed him.
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