#i can get like max 30 notes on a serious post rn

[the-conscious]

I am not and will never be in the business of burning myself to ash for the hateful. If you enter a discussion by being viciously hateful and self-righteous to boot, I am not going to be kind to you, I am not going to gently hold my hand and compose the hostility out of my voice. I'm not going to be a fucking saint while you're a rampaging monster, because that's fucking abysmal for my sanity and you aren't worth it if you're hateful. You just aren't, and you never will be until you clean up your act. And even then, I have too many things to do to hold your hand. I'll give you my words ONCE and if you double-down, I'm blocking without reading it. I write my one message with consideration that the chances I'll be listened to at that point are low, but I also know that my words orbit people's minds like angry bees. So you can let your ego get ahead of you, you can trip over my advisory and punch yourself in the face about it all you want.

But I won't be hurting myself for you.

If I let myself be burnt by every self-righteous prick that was hellbent on killing me because it bothered them that much that I asked them to care about other people, I wouldn't be here. If I let myself be burnt by half of them, I wouldn't be here. A quarter, a fifth, a tenth, a twentieth--I still wouldn't be here.

Turns out it really pisses people off when someone cares, and especially when they're loud about it.

They decide that I'm personally accusing them specifically of a global, collective problem and decide to refuse to grow about it, because I delivered imperfectly. So I don't try to deliver perfectly anymore, and if you hurt people I'm not going to be so careful as to make sure I don't give you a headache.

Hateful arguements are rarely unique in any way shape or form. The amount of times I've had to explain to a bigot (and, just fyi, there's a staggering increase in "woke" biggotry, so it's become increasingly normal to see tons of leftist labels in the description of somebody that spews fascist propaganda on the regular, as if it's different because they changed who the them in us vs. them is) that no, this opinion isn't new, and yes, I know vaguely where you got it and no, I'm not going to listen to you regurgitate something I've heard a million times and no, I'm not rude and ignoring your own personal opinion. It's not your personal opinion. It was a designed opinion that you just as millions of others were tricked somehow in to believing you made as if there wasn't hundreds of different things angling at you, nudging you in to that exact belief--which is precisely why it's not remotely unique. If you make this a personal moral thing you'll get nowhere except Worse.

What you give is what you get, so if I'm snapping at you you should be paying attention. You don't know me, or not yet, but I don't fucking snap at people who don't deserve it, and I'm not disproportionate with it either. If anything, I've been told a lot that I'm far, far too kind. And I agree. But unfortunately that's the only way to make anyone grow up at all, because at the point that you're hurting people and refusing to listen you sure as shit aren't going to listen to a "please" despite how much some of you will throw around insults, and slurs, and vitriol, and wishes of violence. You beg for a perfect saviour and attack anyone for having the slightest bit of care for anyonelse; use their imperfection as a further reason to attack them.

So next time you wonder where all the nice people went, Try looking in the mirror, and asking yourself what needs to change.

Either you've been a massive prick, resulting in you being surrounded by massive pricks, or you found yourself stuck in a pattern that kept you surrounded by them, at which point it becomes inevitable that you become worse because why wouldn't you?

You have to survive, don't you?

Keep bad company, become bad company. Be bad company, make bad company.

Ignore reality, don't learn from it. Run away from reality, fail to fix problems.

If a problem won't go away it's because you don't have the complete solution, perhaps none of the "right" solution at all. If you're constantly miserable, and argueing, and don't know why nobody's hearing you?

You're not doing what you need to be doing.

Somebody with the right words will do what you're trying to do. And if they aren't, then it's just because it wasn't the thing to do. And that's fine. We all make mistakes. A lot of the time they're unavoidable mistakes that are unfair to claim are individual. But it's still our jobs to fix it, so if you keep sabotaging the movement to heal, to fix things, and then you bitch that you're being left out of the help...hm...

Consider that you're asking for something more expensive than you seem to think, and actively increasing the cost every time you're difficult, mean, violent, and we have to put our sanity on the line in order to teach you anything at all--unpaid, to boot. Unrecognised, to boot. And insufficiently supported, too.

[milhaaus]

cam could u do all even numbers for the ask meme? ;3

(THERE’S LIKE 50 QUESTIONS but YES I CAN)

2.) is your room messy or clean?

It’s pretty messy lmao

4.) do you like your name? why?

I used to not be a fan of it especially when I was in school (because for some reason people can’t pronounce Camerin on their first go??? Even though it’s literally Cameron with an i???) but since then I’ve really grown to love it and I think it’s one of a kind :D

6.) describe your personality in 3 words or less

that gal’s weird

8.) what kind of car do you drive? color?

It’s a nissan xterra! it’s older (it should be a sophomore in high school) and it’s silver and I love it

10.) how would you describe your style?

It’s mostly flannel shirts and black t-shirts. for extra style points, wear them both at the same time 

12.) what size bed do you have? 

It’s at least a queen? it’s big but barely big enough enough for me, my dogs, and my cat lol

14.) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

kauai, hawai’i or california! I want to be near the ocean. or somewhere else in the sonoran desert, I like it where i am just fine

16.)  favorite makeup brand(s)

I don’t wear makeup, but i do love candy cane chapstick and those eos chapstick spheres 

18.) favorite tv show?

voltron, a series of unfortunate events, and crazyhead on netflix and adult swim, ghost hunting/bigfoot type shows on animal planet and the discovery channel, misfits, z nation and anything on the syfy channel on regular tv

20.) how tall are you?

I’m 5′2″ on a good day 

22.) do you go to the gym?

I mean I should.......... buuuuuuut............................

24.) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

not much, my guys

26.) how many pillows do you sleep with?

Just one for my head! 

28.) how many friends do you have?

uhhhhhh I’ve got at least 10 friends irl and half a dozen internet friends? most of them are on tumblr so if u see this guys I LOVE YOU 

30.) whats your favorite candle scent?

sandalwood!

32.) 3 favorite girl names

ramona, willow, sasha

34.) favorite actress? 

ashley johnson!

36.) favorite movie?

I can’t pick one so I’ll give u 5: flash gordon, nausicaa, moonrise kingdom, the secret life of walter mitty, and paprika

38.) money or brains?

brain money. pay ur utility bill in whole brains.

40.) how many times have you been to the hospital?

I’ve been in the ER twice, the first time when I ran through a sliding glass door age 6 and the second time when I was rear-ended by a garbage truck driving home when I was 18 - I also did outpatient stuff for 3 months but idk if that counts 

42.) do you take any medications daily?

I do, I take an antidepressant, anti-anxiety meds and fish oil (ECH)

44.) what is your biggest fear?

i am a ball of anxiety and almost everything is scary. but what scares me the most are heights, car accidents, and the fear of losing loved ones

46.) whats your go to hair style?

 it’s kind of a curly bob type of hairstyle. i used to have long-ass hair but i got sick of it and cut most of it off last year 

48.) who is your role model?

idk? i have ppl i look up to but it’s late and i’m blanking on everything :|

50.) what was the last text you sent?

“cool beans” - sent to my dad 

52.) what is your dream car?

i love the one I have rn, so probably a newer nissan xterra in either red, yellow, or black

54.) do you go to college? 

I did up until last fall when I had to withdraw due to mental health shit :/ I’ll be transferring to community college after I finish my job training tho! 

56.)  would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

the burbs, it’s less room but i’d be closer to places where I can make late-night snack runs 

58.) do you have freckles? 

Not a lot of them, just some little ones on my face (i’ve got 3 in a triangle on my cheek)

60.) how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

410 atm! 1/4 of those are screenshots

62.) do you still watch cartoons?

oh hell yeah, I watch cartoons more than anything else of TV tbh. I’ve also been rewatching some ones from my child days like code lyoko and generator max! 

64.) Favorite dipping sauce? 

honey mustard/ketchup for chicken and burgers/etc, ketchup OR ranch for fries (NEVER BOTH EVER), and soy sauce and eel sauce for sushi (that counts right)

66.) have you ever won a spelling bee?

nope, I saw akeelah and the bee tho does that count

68.) can you draw? 

yea I can draw good I guess

70.) what was the last concert you saw?

I saw they might be giants last march! it was AWESOME

72.) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

starbucks for drinks, dunkin donuts for the donuts and frozen hot chocolate

74.) what is your crush’s first and last initial?

O.C. (for orange crush)

76.) what color looks best on you?

black. black t-shirts. and flannels. lots of flannel shirts. 

78.) do you sleep with your door open or closed?

open because my pets will come in and out of my room during the night and they get sad when I close the door. plus my oldest dog benny has to come wake me up every morning and he never learned how to open doors

80.) what is your biggest pet peeve? 

when people delete captions off artwork, or just plain repost it. or when my family does things that trigger my anxiety when i’ve told them over and over to not do it. also people who don’t throw away their trash after eating. 

82.) favorite ice cream flavor? 

coffee, mint chocolate chip, neopolitan, and green tea!

84.) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

RAINBOW 

86.) what is your phone background?

(i’ll post em here when i’m on mobile)

88.) do you like it when people play with your hair?

nope nope nope nooope 

90.)  do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

first thing in the morning! 

92.) have you ever been drunk?

yup, just once tho doing tequila shots with my granddad out of pure spite. i dissociated really bad for the rest of the evening 0/10 do not recommend

94.) favorite lyrics right now

on a serious note, the chorus to “your heart is a muscle the size of your chest” ramshackle glory. on a much less serious note, the entirety of mouth moods by neil cicierega

96.) day or night? 

night! i’m a big ol night owl

98.) favorite month? 

june! 

100.)  who was the last person you cried in front of? 

my cat. i cried because she was sitting in my lap and purring and i just really love her ok