#i can explain why if anyone wants to know

[mulloey]

clever girl

mafia!seonghwa & mafia!yunho x undercover detective!reader. feat. mafia!ateez

words: 7.5k

warnings: dark content. extremely dubcon. depictions of gangs, violence, death (not you or ateez& not shown) and prostitution.

smut warnings: heavy dubcon, threesome, hard doms!yunho & seonghwa, exhibitionism, gun play, double penetration, anal, unprotected sex, sir kink, pet& degradation names, fear kink, some thigh slaps, mentions of pregnancy and breeding, death threats, humiliation, no aftercare, imprisonment etc

hate is deleted and blocked

-

“Detective.”

Your head darts up, gaze meeting that of your irritated looking boss. He stands above you with folded arms, a displeased expression on his face. “Sir,” you greet him. You struggle to keep your expression blank, a smile pulling at your lips; you know exactly what he’s mad about.

He slams a sheet of paper down on your desk. “Why did you request to do this mission alone?” He asks, wasting no time. “Have you lost your mind?”

You don’t need to ask what mission he’s referring to; though you, much to his annoyance, are known for choosing to go it alone, there’s only one mission on your roster right now that’s dangerous enough to make him this agitated. You sigh, rolling your eyes as you lean back in your chair. You stretch your arms out above you with a yawn before sitting back up, eyes on him. “I’ve been watching these guys longer than anyone else,” you say. “Before anyone here would even acknowledge they were an actual threat. I know how they work.”

“Yes, we’re all aware of your qualifications,” your boss snaps. “But I wasn’t asking about that. I’m asking why you want to do this alone.”

You nod, a small concession and certainly the most he’d ever expect from you. “It took me a long time to fully understand these men,” you explain. “They’re incredibly volatile and unpredictable, even for a gang.”

“Even more reason to have backup.”

“No,” you disagree, shaking your head. “Even more reason not to send officers to their deaths because they don’t know what they’re dealing with or how to deal with it.”

His mouth opens and closes, formulating a response. He frowns, tapping a heavy black boot against the floor. “You really think that’s what it’d be?” He asks. “You think we’d lose men?”

“I’m certain,” you say. “I can’t emphasise enough how dangerous these guys are if you don’t know the way they work or how to stay on their good side. But I do know those things, sir. I’ve studied them for six years.”

He hums. “And you actually think you can handle it alone?”

You smile, nodding confidently. The thought of finally meeting these strange men in person has you a little queasy, but you know you can get this done. “It’s simple intelligence gathering, sir. I’m happy to have backup stationed a good distance away, but I’m not sacrificing good people for something I can do alone.”

He stares at you for a moment, searching for any signs of uncertainty before he sighs, nodding in defeat. “Very well,” he says. “I can see there’s no convincing you. You can do this alone if you’re absolutely certain that’s the best course, but you will call for help when you need it. The moment you need it. Understood?”

You smile, standing up to shake your still hesitant looking boss’ hand. “Thank you, sir. Understood.”

On the other side of Seoul, in a dark office piled with weapons and supplies, a screen lights up, buzzing with a new message.

4:37pm

unknown number: she’ll be coming soon. alone.

A man stares down at the message, a thin smile on his lips. It’s finally happening. The girl he’s been watching, who’s followed him around corners and stared into his windows for years, will finally stand in front of him, and she’ll be completely alone. He couldn’t have asked for more.

He sighs, twirling a knife around sullied fingers. Come, little dove.

—

Five days later, a taxi drops you off just on the outskirts of what has become their unquestioned territory. It’s an unassuming area, not rich by any means but not outwardly dodgy, either, and to the untrained eye doesn’t seem at all like gang territory. But you know better, of course. You know what happens behind the doors that quickly close as you walk by; you know the terrors behind the eyes of the men who leer at you as you venture further away from safety. You know this place, and you know that as far as anyone who knows anything is concerned, you’re not in Seoul anymore. As much as your boss may claim to, try to believe differently, neither the law nor the police nor anything can help you now. Every step you take now is taken at the mercy of the eight men you’ve come here to meet. The Owners, locals call them. You’ve come to know them as Ateez.

You walk with your head down, trying not to catch any more attention than being a lone woman at this time of night already commands. One hand is stuffed in your jacket pocket, fingering at your gun for reassurance while the other hangs at your side. Beneath your jacket, the black dress you’ve chosen to wear hangs just above the middle of your thigh. You hate the feeling of it, shorter and far less comfortable than the pants, jeans and shirts you’ve become accustomed to as a detective, but it’s all that was available for the very specific tactic you’ve chosen.

From your interviews of Ateez’s associates, or at least the ones who you’d managed to catch before they did, you know that they are extremely and understandably stingy with their information. Their personnel, operations and other intelligence is closely guarded on a completely need-to-know basis. It’s what makes trying to capture the lower-level members of the organisation such a pointless task; the majority of them don’t even know who their bosses are, let alone any useful information about them. In fact, the chances of actually meeting the men themselves are very slim even for people looking to do business with them; from several accounts you’ve ascertained that even trusted partners and allies will work with the organisation for years without ever meeting its leaders. No, the only people who get anywhere near the leaders and, more importantly, the information they possess, are the women who come and go from their penthouse on a quickly rotating basis, and according to your informants, always seem to emerge looking even more terrified than they’d entered.

As such you’d formed your plan; you’d enter as one of their hookers, with the clothes and parts to match, find out as much as you could, bug every inch of the penthouse, and leave with your satisfied clients none the wiser. A simple enough plan, but as your years on the force have taught you, not one that’s likely to go exactly as you expect. You just hope that you come out in one piece. Or that you come out at all.

You pull the jacket further across your chest, holding it tightly against yourself. Mercifully, the inconspicuous, but for you instantly recognisable building belonging to the organisation soon comes into view. By design it doesn’t stand out, except for the fact that it is quite a bit taller than its neighbours, but you know what goes on in there; or at least, you’re about to. You take a deep breath before biting the bullet and quickly stepping inside.

The interior of the building is just as uneventful; relatively clean but stained in places with substances you’d rather not think about. A few men shuffle around silently, looking up briefly when you walk in before quickly averting their gaze when they realise what you’re here for. It’s a well-known rule, apparently, that no one is to even think about a girl the leaders have had, even after they’ve discarded her. And with such a fast employee turnaround, it’s no mystery what they do to people who violate even the smallest of rules. The leaders — particularly the eldest two, you hear — run a tight, disciplined ship, and think nothing of throwing anyone overboard. Except each other, apparently; the one thing that every single one of the informants had vouched for is the tight, indestructible bond of the men at the helm of this operation.

A man approaches you nervously, asking why you’re here and you quietly whisper the name of one of your informants; miraculously you’d managed to turn one of the men Ateez frequently used to procure their companions, and he’d agreed to hand you over to them, essentially guaranteeing your authenticity; basically, he’d promised to vouch for you not being the exact thing you were— a snitch. A cop, at that. The man you speak to nods in understanding and directs you where to go and, thanking him with a smile, you make a note to thank your informant the next time you check in with him.

The further you venture into the building, your heart pounding heavier with each step, the nicer it becomes. When you step into the elevator, far nicer and more richly decorated than the front of the building, it becomes clear that the first part of your mission — breaching the restricted area — has been successful.

You step out on the top floor and the difference is obvious; polished floors and hallways lined with mirrors, paintings and flowers show you this is a part of the building few will ever see. This is the bosses’ world. Ateez’s world.

Breathing shakily, you knock on the doorbell the way you’d been instructed — five times, with a gap between the third and fourth. You hear voices before the door opens seemingly on its own, revealing the lavish interiors of the leaders’ apartments. It’s richly decorated with a dark, oak theme, and there’s not a person in sight.

“Hello?” You call out. Your voice almost seems to echo in the vast emptiness of the penthouse. “I’m here to see the Owners? Binwoo sent me.”

Silence abounds and then, just as you start to worry this has all been a big set-up to take out the only detective who’s gotten remotely close to the group, someone emerges. You recognise him instantly as the leader, Hongjoong. You’ve only seen him in surveillance, and very scarcely; the only time he ever seems to leave this place is when someone pisses him off so badly he decides to deal with them himself, so naturally the majority of your surveillance of him has been of torture and murder and pain. Seeing him in front of you now, not as tall as he looked from afar yet somehow even more imposing, those images of him — the things you’ve seen him do — play on repeat in your head.

When he raises a hand to wave at you, all you can picture is the black leather gloves he wears while he brutalises, covered in blood. Your blood, if this doesn’t go well. There’s a reason, you think, that the employees who don’t know this man’s name and thus resort to nicknames, have settled on The Butcher.

You gulp as you wave back. You hope he doesn’t notice the way your hands shake. “Hello, sir,” you greet. You bow politely, trying not to let on to the fact that you have any knowledge of who this man is or what he’s capable of. “I was sent by Binwoo to entertain you.”

He cocks an eyebrow, staring you up and down. “He did say he had someone for us,” he says. This is the first time you’ve heard his voice clearly, and you have to stop yourself from looking surprised at how… normal he sounds. Like a regular guy in his 20s, really— certainly not the monster you know him to be. In another situation, you think you’d quite like his voice. It’s gentle and welcoming and you could even see yourself getting flustered by it; but instead the voice, the man, everything about this moment, fills you with terror.

“Yes, sir. That was me.” You try your best to sound seductive, or even normal, but you’re not sure if he buys it.

He stares at you for a few seconds, eyes narrowed. “Take off your jacket,” he orders. Fear pulsates as you obey; you note that his voice is deeper than before. You hope it’s arousal— or even just curiosity. Anything but what you’re fearing it to be.

You take off your jacket as quickly as possible, hanging it up on the hanger next to the door as he instructs you. You stand in place, hands by your sides like your informant, Binwoo, had told you he teaches his girls to do. Wearing only your dress and heels, you feel more exposed and vulnerable than ever.

He stares at you for a moment before nodding, satisfied. “I’m Hongjoong,” he smiles. “What should I call you?”

You don’t think about your answer; you’d come up with a name while planning this mission, just as you always do. “Mira.”

He cocks an eyebrow, sceptical, but nods. It’s not uncommon for prostitutes to give a fake name, particularly in circles like this, so your obvious moniker shouldn’t be a problem unless he figures out the real reason you’re using it. You pray he doesn’t.

“Very well, ‘Mira’,” he grins. “I’ll take you to the others. They’re waiting for you.”

You follow him down the hallway; dark, ambiently lit, almost cosy. The sound of your heels on the wooden floor breaks the silence into small seconds, giving you a rhythm to follow and cling to as you walk towards what could very well be your doom.

Reaching the door to the dining room, Hongjoong spares a second to look back at you, offering a thin smile that could almost be reassuring before pushing open the door. The room is bigger than you could have imagined and impossibly lavish; more suited for royalty than a criminal syndicate. Along one side of a long, oak table that stretches much of the length of the room sit seven men, arranged to face you in an intimidating formation.

You recognise them all, each face unnerving you more than the last. It’s true, they’re all stupidly handsome — even more so in real life, you realise — but all you see on their faces are the countless, endless amounts of blood on their hands. You’ve seen some of it yourself, more than enough, but the stories are even worse; men, women, children, anyone who stood in their way, slaughtered like sheep. You could swear you hear the faint ringing of screams in your ear as they look up at you.

“Gentlemen,” Hongjoong says. “This is Mira.”

They greet you with interest, a few of them offering a smile while the others simply stare you down. “Turn,” one of them says — San, you think. You stare unsuredly at Hongjoong and he lifts an eyebrow; a silent order to obey. Slowly you turn around, letting them see your back side before facing them once again. They look pleased.

“She’ll do fine,” another, Wooyoung, says with a grin.

Your gaze catches his and you gulp, unnerved. Wooyoung was the person you were most nervous to encounter; though his demeanour is friendly, enthusiastic even, the stories you’ve heard about him are the worst. He kills, massacres people with ease and he does it with that same grin on his face. It’s more terrifying than the more calculated, stoic members, because while they’ve probably killed and maimed more people than him in the long run, they at least treat it with the seriousness it deserves. Wooyoung ends lives without consideration and treats it all like some kind of game.

“Um…” you start. “What would you like me to do now, sirs?”

“Unless anyone has any requests,” Hongjoong starts. He looks around at the others and when no one speaks up, he continues. “You may put your bag on the table then come back here to present yourselves to us.”

You nod, voicing a quiet ‘yes, sir’ before nervously making your way over to the table. Your grip on your bag is iron and you’re hesitant to let it go; your bugging equipment lies in a secret compartment at the bottom hidden beneath the makeup and toys you’d brought to make yourself more convincing, and to leave it with them feels like giving yourself away. But even if they check your bag, you think, they have no reason to think there’d be any kind of secret compartment. You’re safe. You just need to get this done and then you’re safe.

You walk back to where you were, alone this time — Hongjoong has gone to take his seat next to the oldest member, Seonghwa, and now you’re eight-to-one.

Seonghwa speaks for the first time and his voice is surprisingly sultry. “Take the dress off,” he says calmly. His eyes are narrowed. “I’d like to see what I’m working with.”

With shaking hands you remove the dress, carefully unzipping the expensive (for a detective’s salary, at least) fabric and sliding it down off your body. Clad only in black, lacy lingerie, you feel a deep flush across your face; you’ve never been so exposed in front of a man before; certainly not multiple men and certainly not dangerous, notorious criminals. A whistle sounds across the room, though you’re not sure who it came from, and you blush deeper. You feel the weight of their gazes as eight pairs of eyes hover over every inch of you, inspecting and scrutinising you silently. Seonghwa, the closest to you and with the sternest expression, can’t seem to draw his eyes away from your breasts. You swallow, feeling vulnerable and smaller than you ever have before.

“Turn,” Seonghwa says, voice commanding. “Let me see the back.”

You nod, turning once again, taking your time to give them the opportunity to rake their eyes up and down the back of you; no doubt hovering on your ass, globes cleverly exposed by your lingerie. You hear a few whispered comments and try to keep your composure; you almost feel the touch of their hands on your ass, squeezing and slapping it however they like. You know they want to; you hope they will— it will mean you’ve convinced them enough for them to let their guard down.

“That’s enough,” Seonghwa says. “Turn back.”

Relieved, you turn back to face them. You’ve passed one obstacle, you think. Seonghwa stares at you for a moment, expression unreadable before he curls a long finger, bidding you closer. You take a few steps before he raises his palm, stopping you, and you still yourself. His eyes rake over your torso again before he nods. He stares up at you with dark but interested eyes and a smile breaks onto his face before he speaks.

He says it so casually you almost miss it. “I know what you are.”

His voice is so soft you only just hear him and the words take a moment to hit you. When they do, your reaction is sudden and visceral; you heart drops into your stomach like stone, blood rushing to your head at a dizzying pace and you almost pass out. But you do your best to keep your reactions internal; you know the only way to make them more certain of why you’re actually here is to freak out and panic at the mere suggestion. No. You can play this one off. You’ve trained for this. You just need to de-escalate.

You clear your throat, tapping your foot against the floor. “And what’s that?” You ask, trying to sound sultry; your voice almost breaks on the last word but you catch it in the nick of time. “A whore?”

Seonghwa’s lip quirks. “You know,” he says. “That’s not as far off as you think. But no.”

You almost want to huff at the jibe he’d thrown at you, but you remember your situation, the danger you’re in and choose to stay on his good side.

“What am I, then?”

“We don’t really need to say it, do we?” Hongjoong interjects. There’s no anger in his voice; he sounds somewhere between bored and amused. “We both know already.”

You reach up to your chest, to the chip you’d hidden in your bra in case you needed to call for backup, but a loud laugh stops you.

“Are you calling for backup?” Wooyoung grins, confirming what you already knew — they know exactly why you’re here. They’ve figured you out.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you say, still fighting your case. Your voice starts to falter as you speak, composure beginning to crack. Some small, stupid part of you still seems to think there’s a way out of this, but you know there’s not. They know your secret. And even if they were wrong, if you were innocent, this is their territory and their house— if they say something is so, there’s no arguing.

“You are,” Wooyoung laughs.

“And that backup,” Hongjoong interjects again, “they wouldn’t be the officers we found in vans on the next block, would they?”

You feel your heart drop into your stomach, jaw dropping in disbelief. No. The next block? Does no one listen to a fucking thing you say?

“I—”

“I wouldn’t bother calling for them,” Seonghwa says. You hear a few chuckles from the others, clearly enjoying this. “I don’t think I need to explain why.”

No, you think, he doesn’t. You know what they do to spies and traitors — what they’ll do to you. You can only hope they killed your colleagues quickly. If you somehow ever make it out of here, you’re going to do the same to your boss — you told him to station backup far away and this is why.

Starting to panic, you begin to back away but your pathetic attempt only takes you a few steps before Seonghwa barks, “Grab her!”, and the two men nearest descend on you.

Your years of combat training are no match for the strong, probably better-trained men, and within seconds they have you fully restrained. You struggle in their hold and the taller, Mingi, harshly grabs your hair, yanking it back to force you to stare the others straight in the face.

You expect to see anger, even bloodlust when you meet their gaze, but you don’t. Other than Seonghwa, who seems irritated at your attempt to escape, they look… unbothered. It doesn’t make sense, you think. Not with what you were trying to do and especially not with how painfully close you came to doing it. For having almost had their entire network penetrated by one terrified looking woman, they look strangely calm, like they’re entirely unsurprised by this development, and you don’t know why. Unless…?

You hold back a groan as the realisation hits you. “You knew.”

Hongjoong smiles, amused. “We’ve always known, Mira. You think we wouldn’t realise we were being watched?”

You bow your head. You’re still terrified, knowing these men have killed countless people with the blank, unbothered expressions they wear now, but right now the overwhelming, crushing emotion is just… embarrassment. You feel like a rookie again; cocky and confident with your badge and gun until you fuck up for the first time and it all comes crashing down.

You shrug. “I don’t know.”

You hear someone snort and look up to see Wooyoung, giggling almost gleefully to himself. “Aren’t you meant to be the smartest on the squad?” He laughs. You hear a few others chuckle too. “Didn’t you tell your boss you ‘knew everything about us’? But you didn’t consider the fact that we might know you?”

He makes a good point, you realise. But while you figured they’d know they were being watched, with your high-tech surveillance equipment and ability to blend into a crowd, it had barely crossed your mind that they might know who was watching them — certainly not that they’d somehow know the exact things you’d said about them. They must have bugged you, you think, or somehow gotten a spy into the department to listen in on your discussions on them. You guess you owe them more credit. And a lot more fear.

“I’m sorry,” is all you can think to say.

“I’m certain you are,” Hongjoong says. “Now you’ve been caught. Are you keen on proving it?”

You look up, confused, hopeful and terrified all in one. You thought you’d be dead by now, shot on sight. And if they intended on killing you slowly, torturing you for information before finally letting you die, you figured they’d have started by now. Or at least made any attempt to move. They could still do it, of course, but they don’t seem in the mood for that. They look… curious.

“P-prove it?” You stutter. “How?”

A few of them smile, mouths curling into thin smiles and you shift uncomfortably. The two oldest share a look before Seonghwa nods and seemingly out of nowhere, Hongjoong pulls a gun, setting it carefully but loudly on the table. He keeps a hand on the trigger and his eyes on you as he speaks. “Firstly,” he says. “Don’t try to run. I’d hate to stick a bullet through your pretty face but if you bolt, that’s exactly what I’ll do. And I know you’ve seen yourself how excellent my aim is.”

You gulp. Hongjoong’s right. Through the lenses of your binoculars you’ve seen him — all of them, in fact — make some almost impossible shots. Certainly more impossible than a woman in heels trying to escape from a locked room. There’s no point trying to run. You’ll leave when — if, you think with a shiver — they allow you to.

You feel yourself deflate, nodding defeatedly. “Okay.”

“Alright,” he smiles. “Mingi, Jongho, let her go.”

The men holding you stare almost petulantly at their leader but he raises an eyebrow and they relent, releasing their grip. “Not a fucking toe out of line, Mira,” Mingi whispers in your ear. He says your ‘name’ like it’s diseased.

Despite being released, your body refuses to move; it stays paralysed in the same position, too terrified to even shiver. A blessing in disguise though, you suppose; Hongjoong looks pleased. “See,” he smiles. “It’s so easy to just be good for us, isn’t it?”

You try to respond but all that comes out is a small, pathetic squeak. A few chuckles sound out across the room and your gaze catches Yunho, who, though appearing calm, in his eyes looks just on the edge of feral. You gulp.

Seonghwa is the first to move; he says your ‘name’ lowly, curling a finger towards you. “Come here,” he orders.

You approach him as slowly as you can excuse, soon enough ending up inches away from him. He looks you up and down, inspecting your body with dark eyes.

”You’re shivering,” he says softly.

You manage to force out a few words. “I’m cold,” you reply. “And…”

“And scared?” He asks. You don’t respond, but you flush pink and he chuckles. “Clever girl,” he says. “You should be scared. I’ve never liked the way you seemed so… fearless about us.”

He wraps an arm around your waist, eyes flashing when you jump in surprise. “So flighty,” he mutters. “Sit on my lap.”

You don’t know if you would resist if you could but that doesn’t matter; your body, seemingly in survival mode, moves of its own accord to straddle him. His hands settle on your waist, just above your ass and he smiles.

“Still shivering,” he chuckles. “Good girl.” He leans in close enough that only you can hear as he whispers; “San’ll be much nicer to you if you stay this terrified.” You gulp, eyes flickering in the direction of the man mentioned; he’s watching you intently, face blank but he’s clearly not one to mess with. He’s so much more intimidating in person.

“Now,” Seonghwa says, and you turn your gaze back to him. “Let’s see what you can do for us, hm? Open your mouth.”

You hesitate briefly, but quickly obey, parting your lips slightly. Seonghwa runs his thumb across your bottom lip before he tugs at it to open your mouth further; before you know it a wad of spit lands on your tongue, and he closes your mouth again. He taps your cheek. “Swallow,” he says.

You pray your boss never finds out about this; straddling your enemy’s lap and swallowing his spit on his command. Then again, you’d be lucky to see your boss again at all. You don’t particularly trust that they’ll spare your life just because you let them fuck you. This feels more like playing with their food.

Seonghwa pushes two fingers into your mouth, ordering you to suck. They push to the back of your throat, making you gag but you keep them inside, sucking them desperately and trying to ignore the way your body screams at you to get them out. “Sucking me so good,” he grins. “You’re gonna look so pretty with our dicks in your mouth.”

You can’t help the moan that slips out; nor the flood of relief that washes over you at the praise. Maybe they will let you live after all.

Seonghwa thrusts his fingers lazily in and out of your mouth, letting you choke and gag on them as your throat slowly adjusts to the intrusion.

“I must say,” he says. There’s curiosity and knowing in his eyes; a knowledge of something you think is secret. It unnerves you even further. “You’ve come around to this remarkably quickly. I really thought you’d put up more of a fight, petal.”

Noises of agreement sound out, the men chuckling to themselves. “Pathetic,” you think you hear Yunho say.

“You know, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says. You turn in surprise at his voice— sitting in Seonghwa’s grip, those dark eyes burning into you, it’s easy to forget there’s anyone else in the room. Hongjoong smiles amusedly at you before he continues. “It’s almost like she wanted to fail. Like she wanted us to realise what she was because she knew that’d mean we couldn’t let her leave.”

You manage to stop yourself from scoffing— thank God, you think, because the pistol on the table in front of Hongjoong is ever present and you’ve seen him use it on others for a lot less. But come on. That’s ridiculous. You’ve been after them for years, never for a moment with any intention other than locking each and every one of them up for good. You try to protest but Seonghwa clamps his palm over your mouth, shushing you. “You might be right, Joong,” he smiles. “That would explain why she came here so poorly prepared. Like a lamb to slaughter.” He removes his hand from your mouth; his fingers brush over your lips and linger a little longer than you can justify.

Hongjoong chuckles. “Is that it, little lamb?” He asks. “Were you hoping for this?”

You shake your head, determined to refute him but to your horror, part of you starts to wonder if there might be some truth to his words, if you… no. No way. Of course you weren’t hoping for this. Still, your hesitation tells them more than you want them to know. “I…”

“She was,” Seonghwa grins. “Naive little girl.”

You frown, brows furrowing. “I’m not—”

Before you can finish your sentence, a deep voice you recognise as Yunho sounds out, silencing you. “Will you stop fucking talking back,” he snaps, almost shouting. He leans over to where you’re still held firmly in Seonghwa’s grip, eyes dark. “I swear to God,” he whispers.

“Yunho,” Hongjoong replies before you can, tone warning but amused. “Don’t be mean to her. She must be so scared right now, hm?” He turns back to you, narrowing his eyes. “And maybe something else?”

“She’s horny is what she is,” Yunho snorts dryly. “Dripping for us yet still with so much attitude.”

“She can’t resist,” Seonghwa says. “It’s in her bones, isn’t it?” He strokes your face with a gentleness you’d never expect from him; but the knowledge of how easily he could and might still kill you makes it a lot less comforting. “She wants to hate us, knows she should but this feels so right, doesn’t it? So good.”

You whine, shaking your head; you know you’re past the point of resistance now but you can’t bear to fully submit. There’s no coming back from that. Seonghwa sighs, stroking your hair. “As soon as you give in,” he says, “this will get so much easier.”

“I—”

“Hm?” He asks. “What? You can’t?”

You shake your head and he smiles. “You can, Mira,” he says. “You will.”

You groan, squeezing your eyes shut as if you could make this all go away just by blocking it out. You hear them chuckle, then before you know it you’re being lifted up; you open your eyes and see Seonghwa has stood up, still holding you in his arms, before laying you down on the table with your legs hanging over the edge. Your stomach twists as you realise the position you’re in; completely exposed and at their mercy. Ripe for the taking. Your hands are lifted above your head and you look up to see Yunho, holding them together firmly in one hand. Seonghwa’s hands come to rest on your hips again.

“Open your legs.”

You whine, shaking your head squeezing your thighs together. Seonghwa scowls, displeased and wraps a calloused hand around your plush upper thigh. He stares you down, eyes dark as he starts to squeeze. His sharp nails dig into you, piercing the skin ever so slightly under the pressure. You whimper, squirming a little but he doesn’t react.

“Open them.”

Cold metal touches your temple. You don’t need to look to know that Yunho is holding a gun to your head. You swallow thickly, trying to stay calm. At this point, you’re not disobeying on purpose; you’re not stupid enough to think that would work. But in the thick of adrenaline, where your body had once obeyed of its own accord, now… it won’t move.

Seonghwa gives Yunho a pointed look and then the gun leaves your head. Now in the elder’s hand, he puts it down for a moment before, with one hand on each thigh, he spreads your legs open with ease. “There we go,” he hums.

The steel of the pistol is ice cold against the warmth of your inner thighs as he moves it slowly up your legs until it points directly at your pussy. Covered by the thin black fabric of your panties, you nonetheless feel entirely exposed, like he can see right through them.

The end of the gun comes to press up against your panties and you feel the cold steel through the fabric; but where it presses against your clit, pressure slight but noticeable, it’s almost nice. It doesn’t move; Seonghwa keeps his hand still in place, watching with a small smile as you try to conceal your pleasure. He pushes it against you slightly, making you gasp, and gestures to your panties.

“Take those off,” he says. “Quickly, if you want the safety to stay on.”

You scramble to obey, tugging them off and discarding them next to you. With a small smile, Seonghwa picks them up and stuffs them in his pocket. You bite your lip. “Sir,” you whisper.

He hums, cocking an eyebrow before placing the gun back where it was before. This time he presses it more firmly against your clit and you squirm. “Nice and still for me,” he murmurs.

Turning your head, you see the other men gathered around the table. They’re just… watching. No one looks affected, no one’s touching themselves; they’re just watching their friends take you apart with entirely blank, focused expressions. Like it’s a clinical procedure.

Unnerved, you turn back to face Seonghwa just as he slips the gun ever so slightly into your pussy. You gasp, almost crying out but Yunho quickly shoves his fingers into your mouth, silencing you. “Now, now,” he cooes. “We don’t want to make them angry, do we?” His voice is sickly sweet and condescending and the most terrifying thing you’ve ever heard. You shake your head, still gagged by his fingers and he chuckles. “Good girl.”

Then the gun is gone as Seonghwa pulls it away— a string of wet, sticky liquid following in its wake. He smiles knowingly and you wish the earth would swallow you up. You’ve creamed on a fucking gun, shoved up your pussy by your worst enemies. You’ll never come back from this.

“My, my,” you hear Hongjoong chuckle. You turn to meet his eyes and he tilts his head, smiling innocently. Seonghwa grabs your face to force your gaze back to him. “Stop looking away,” he says. “I’m the one fucking you.”

The gun clatters down and without warning Seonghwa’s long fingers are penetrating you; two, you think, maybe three. He doesn’t ease you into it (why would he, really?), just quickly stretching you out on his fingers. And then Yunho’s there too, standing next to the elder and watching him work you open with dark eyes.

Soon they swap places, and while Seonghwa’s fingers are certainly large, Yunho’s are something else entirely. His fingers pump in and out of you efficiently; your pleasure clearly isn’t what’s on his mind, but rather, working you open for something bigger. He certainly pays no mind to your reactions; even as you whine and cry his eyes never move from your pussy as you come more and more undone around his fingers. He’s focused, dangerously so.

Once his third finger sits comfortably in your pussy, he pulls them all out, leaving you gaping and empty. You whine at the loss and he chuckles before he picks up his gun again. He runs it up and down your thigh with light, teasing touches.

“Want it in you?” He asks.

You nod, desperate. At this point, you wish you felt shame— you wish you were embarrassed and humiliated to be debasing yourself like this for your targets; but instead you’re just aroused. Completely, overwhelmingly, suffocatingly aroused. “Sir,” you whisper again.

He grins, twirling the gun in his hand. The ease with which he handles it is a stark reminder of where you are, who these men are. It does nothing to lessen your desperation.

“Very well,” he says. “Stay still, Mira. Wouldn’t want the safety coming off accidentally.”

Accidentally. You almost scoff. You’re a detective; you know a thinly veiled threat when you see one. And this is barely veiled. Still, you do as he says without complaint, keeping your legs spread and pussy open for access as he presses it against your entrance. It goes in surprisingly easily; lubricated by your gushing pussy and it’s as humiliating as it is exhilarating. You make a noise of discomfort, biting down on your lip until you taste blood; half of pleasure and half of pain.

The steel is cold and inhuman and the edges push painfully against your walls and it’s degrading and terrifying. Yet at the same time it feels so good to be used and demeaned in this way; to be fucked open not for your pleasure, not even his pleasure, but purely for his own amusement. You know every noise or face of pain you make is making him harder and it’s a rush you’ve never even felt from sex. Fuck. What is wrong with you?

At this point, you don’t even know who’s talking; people and voices blur into one distant, surrounding haze.

“She’s loving this,” someone says.

“Sick bitch,” another spits, then, “we should keep her.”

Then the gun is gone, and you’re suddenly empty, your walls clinging to nothing— briefly. Within a few moments something else nicer, warmer, better is sliding into you; you look up, meeting Seonghwa’s gaze as he pushes into you. He’s large and thick, bordering on this side of too much, but it feels… good. Fuck. You’ve never felt like this in your fucking life; neither, it seems, has he.

“Fuck,” he choked. “Tight little whore. So fucking good.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, lost in a fog of pleasure and clinging to the rhythm of his quickening thrusts. Half of you wants to forget who it is that’s doing this to you, making you feel so good; the other half thinks this is the only dick you want for the rest of your life. But with each thrust of Seonghwa’s dick deep inside you, slamming against your cervix each time, you become less and less able to think of anything at all— except the waves of painful pleasure washing over you, and your desperate desire for it to never, ever stop.

It’s just your luck that, just as you feel yourself approaching your climax, Seonghwa pulls out without warning, leaving you empty and leaking. You’re about to cry out in protest when you find yourself flipped over, pressed down and bent over the wooden table. You feel the two men behind you, kneading your ass, and a sharp slap lands against it before Seonghwa pushes back into your pussy again.

“Hwa,” Yunho says. “I don’t think she’s full enough.”

Seonghwa slows his pace, and you feel his stern, scrutinising gaze on you. “You’re right,” he says. He spreads your ass cheeks, making you gasp, and he chuckles. “Look at that little asshole clenching. I think it wants to be filled.”

Yunho makes a noise of agreement, pressing a finger to your rim and making you jump. “Think she can handle my cock in there?”

“Does it matter?”

“Not really,” Yunho says nonchalantly. “But I’d rather not break her completely. She’s too tight, it’d be a waste.”

“Fine,” Seonghwa says, slowly starting to thrust again. After a few moments, he pulls out, and you feel Yunho’s long fingers enter your pussy. You whine, confused, but a slap of Seonghwa’s hand against your thigh silences you. Yunho’s fingers pull away, replaced with Seonghwa’s dick again, before Yunho’s fingers are on your asshole, pushing into the rim with— oh. He’s… he’s using your slick as lube.

“Dirty girl,” he mutters. It takes embarrassingly little time before he manages to fit all three fingers in there and he stills. “You ever been fucked here before?”

“N-no,” you gasp, squirming under the two men’s grips on you.

“Good,” he says. “Hold still.”

The feeling of his cock pushing past your rim makes you scream— it’s fucking maddening; painful and pleasurable and pretty much every adjective you could use to describe anything. You don’t even recognise the sounds you’re making now; you barely sound human, squealing and crying like an animal.

“Yeah,” Yunho grunts. “Bark, bitch.”

You’re fully sobbing now, a broken, dripping mess as two cocks pump in and out of you. Seonghwa’s fingers are digging into your hips, no doubt leaving bruises to match those blooming under the impact of your colliding bodies each time they thrust. Yunho’s hands are in your hair, tugging your head backwards; it stretches your neck painfully, but you doubt he cares; the only thing on either of their minds is using you for their own satisfaction. Only the sound of laughter reminds you of the presence of the other six and you crane your neck to look at them.

“Look at her,” Jongho laughs. “Taking it like a fucking whore.”

Emboldened by his comments, Yunho speeds up, thrusts getting quicker and harder by the second. You feel your walls clenching around his cock, squeezing him each time he moves.

Seonghwa’s thrusts are just as fast, hitting you just as deep, but in the more familiar cavern of your pussy, they’re not quite as overwhelming as Yunho’s. You can tell by their tightening grips on you when they’re close, slowly losing their control.

“I’m gonna fucking cum in you,” Yunho growls. “I’m gonna get you pregnant and fucking keep you here. Our little breeding bitch.”

You cry out, half pleasure half pain, and it pushes you over the edge; with a shout he releases inside you, hot load filling you up and leaking out around his dick before he pulls out. Seonghwa follows quickly, unloading in your pussy before pulling out, leaving you fucked out and leaking onto the floor.

“Disgusting bitch,” someone says.

Seonghwa touches your hip almost gently, and you find yourself crumpling to the floor, unable to hold yourself up anymore. Sat in a pathetic heap, you faintly see the men surrounding you.

“You did a good job, Mira,” Hongjoong says, and he almost sounds fond. “A maid will take you to your cell.”

Cell. The word hits you like bricks crashing down; knocking the wind out of your chest and dropping you back into your reality— you tried to beat them. You failed. You’re trapped. You know they see the terror creep back onto your face. You imagine they enjoy it.

Seonghwa pats your head, and for a moment it looks like he wants to kiss you; instead he just smiles, nodding curtly before following his brothers as they walk away. Hongjoong is the last to exit, leaving you alone, still crumpled on your knees and covered in cum on the floor of the hall. Before he closes the door, he turns back to you; his eyes hover over your shivering form and a smile flickers.

“If you can keep this up, Mira,” he says, “we’ll probably let you live.”

The slam of the oak door echoes around the room.

-

thanks for reading! i think this is darkest fic i’ve ever written. i’m trying to start branching out into more plot-heavy fics along with the usual smut, so this is something of an attempt in that area. your feedback is much appreciated and motivates me to write more. reblogs and comments are appreciated. requests open. love🖤🖤🖤

[luvingtsumu]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐓 𖥔 ࣪˖ ( MIYA ATSUMU X FEM!READER )

noticing small changes is difficult at first, but when they start becoming so visible it’s hard to not overthink stuff, but miya atsumu definitely wasn’t in love with you, right? even when it was painfully obvious.

★ genre: fluff | content: friends to lovers, fluff, jealousy, actions speaking louder than words.

★ author’s note: now that i have a job i’ve been buying a lot of atsumu merch, i’m gonna end up broke.

O1 . BACKPACK

You and Atsumu always played rock, paper, scissors after school to decide who was carrying the backpacks, usually, you were the loser, and he always made sure to rub it in your face.

He was lazy, he never wanted to carry anyone’s backpacks, especially not yours; so this rock, paper, scissors game worked perfectly for him —since he already knew you always picked scissors first.

“I won again!” he said, sticking his tongue out at you.

“Not fair! Let’s play again.” you crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him.

“C’mon, we already played 3 times, yer a loser.” he said, throwing his backpack at you.

You catch it with both hands, groaning slightly as you glared at him.

“Oh, come on! My back hurts today.” you complained “I fell on my back today.”

“Ya fell?” he laughed.

“Fucking Kino threw the ball at me way too hard! That was a hate crime.” he laughed again so you hit him on the shoulder “Shut up!”

“Sorry, sorry.” he smiled “Does it hurt or what?”

“A little bit.”

“Are ya that weak? Geez, no wonder why yer always tired in p.e. class.” he snickered.

“You know I hate you?” you rolled your eyes, placing his backpack on your shoulder.

“I figured.” he stole his and your backpack from your hands, placing them over his shoulders.

You looked at him with a confused look before smirking, he scoffed and looked away.

“‘m only gonna take ‘em today, cause yer hurt, alright?”

That was the first time that Atsumu, on his own willing, carried your backpack for you.

Then there was a second time.

Then a third one.

And suddenly you realize that now you barely carried your backpack after school. At first you were happy about that, and teased him about being your servant, but then you started to feel a bit bad cause he was always carrying your stuff; and even when you insisted on helping, he would brush you off.

“Yer too week, I don’t want yer back to get hurt.”

“I already have it on me.”

“Don’t complain, ‘m helpin’ ya.”

You thought it was weird that he was acting so nice, but you figured maybe he changed his ways and wanted to be nicer, besides, it was great not having to carry your heavy backpack; so you finally let it happen with no complaints.

O2 . FOOD

Atsumu absolutely hated when people ate his food, he didn’t even let his own brother grab a cookie from his lunch.

Either way, you didn’t cared if he didn’t liked it, you always found a way to steal a bit of his food, and he was always loud when you did it, calling you names and pulling your arms so you wouldn’t get to steal another onigiri.

You were used to that, and still, you didn’t even noticed when that changed. It started small and it was easy to not notice a change, but soon enough his brother pointed out how Atsumu didn’t got mad at you anymore when you stole his food, he didn’t budged and just gave you a small glance before going back to eating.

You thought about it for a bit and decided to test it, grabbing some of his tuna when he was just about to eat it.

“Hm, this one doesn’t taste that good as the one you brought yesterday.” you said after swallowing the food.

He looked between you and the tuna, then he started eating without budging “Yeah, ‘samu did the one yesterday.”

“That explains it, you’re a terrible cook.” he glared at you, making you chuckle “Respectfully.”

You noticed him rolling his eyes, but you got nothing more than that after stealing his food; so you decided to ask him to see if his reaction would change.

“Can I have some of your chips, ‘tsumu?”

“Open ‘em.” he said, handing you the bag of chips “Just make sure no one else eats ‘em.” and with that, he continued eating.

You gave him a weird look, raising and eyebrow.

You were so used to him yelling at you that it felt strange that he wasn't doing it. For some reason, it made you feel guilty, again. It felt better to steal food from him and have him yelling at you, rather than him handing it to you.

“You know what? I’m not hungry.” you said, handing him the bag of chips “Thanks though.”

That was the last time you attempted to eat from his food, unless he vocally expressed he wanted to share his food from you.

He even looked bothered by the fact you weren’t stealing his food anymore, but your best friend loved his food, so you sure were imagining things.

O3 . TWINS

Even if Atsumu and Osamu fought all the time, they were still brothers, they were still twins. They still told everything to each other —even if they pretended to not listen—, and they still wanted to help each other.

So even if you tried to stop yourself from overthinking, it wasn’t an easy task. You felt like the twins knew something about you that not even you knew. It was weird, of course, but it felt like they were working against you or about you.

They would whisper at each other when you passed by them, and you always saw them sharing looks when you hung out with them. To be honest, you felt left out, it felt like you were missing something.

Normally, you would tell the twins about your current concern, but in this case, they were the current concern, so you decided to rely on Aran.

“Don’t mind them.” he waved his hand in the air “They’re always all weird, same thing happened to me and turns out they just admired me a lot.” he smirked.

You chuckled “I don’t think they admire me, Aran, it’s easier to think they despise me.”

“You’re their best friend, they don’t hate you.” he assured you “They’re better than that.”

Aran’s words were reassuring, and you decided to stop focusing on the topic and let the twins do their own stuff.

Even when Osamu asked you weird and too specific questions about your love life.

Or when he suddenly canceled on plans last minute, making you and Atsumu stay alone.

Or when he exchanged weird looks with Atsumu whenever you spoke about boys.

All just coincidence’s.

O4 . JEALOUSY

“Me ‘nd ‘samu we’re talkin’ the other day…” he took a bite of his burger “‘nd it would be pretty cool to go to the beach this weekend.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” you chuckled, before sighing “The beach?”

He swallowed his food as he nodded “Yeah! The weather has been nice this past days.”

“I can’t this weekend.” you took a sip of your drink, watching his expression grow confused.

“What? Why?”

“I have plans with Kino and Shinji. Although I don’t think Shinji is gonna make it, so just me and Kino.”

Atsumu’s eyebrows visibly raised as he listened to your words. You continued eating, unaware of the way Atsumu’s stomach did a flip.

“Why are ya goin’ with them anyway?” he mumbled as he took a very small bite of his almost finished burger.

You scoffed “What do you mean why? They’re my friends.” you smiled.

“I thought they were just dudes in yer classroom.”

“No.” you chuckled “I’m actually friends with them, even when they’re a pain in the ass. I’m actually closer to Kino.” you said, thinking out loud.

Atsumu’s jaw clenched as he wrapped up what was left of the burger and threw it in the trash can.

“Weekends are for me, tho…” he said without thinking, quickly changing his words “—‘nd for ‘samu too.”

“Oh, come on, for one weekend that I don’t spend time with you? You’ll survive.”

Atsumu grumbled “I guess.”

Atsumu zoned out for a few seconds, deep in thought until he finally turned to see you.

“Isn’t Kino the guy ya went to eat with the other day?”

“Yeah, you remember him?” you smiled.

“Yeah. I actually do.”

Of course he did, Osamu is friends with one of Kino’s close friends, and he told Osamu that Kino had a big, fat crush on you. Of course he did. But you were his girl, his! How dare this other man disterup his precious time with you.

“Enjoy yer time with him, or whatever.” he sighed, rubbing the side of his neck as he tried to ease the feeling inside of him.

“I will.” you chuckled “We can go to the beach other day.”

“Sure.”

He didn’t understand why he was feeling like this, so bitter about you having other friendships besides him, other guys that liked you like he did —or maybe not like he did, cause he definitely liked you more than any ordinary guy ever will.

O5 . TEXTS AND CALLS

Your phone vibrated with a notification, and you knew who it was even before you turned on your screen.

Atsumu, of course it was him.

Normally you couldn’t have a single conversation with him over text, since he was barely on his phone, always studying, training or playing some game with Osamu. He never checked his texts and it was a real challenge to try to get in contact with him during summer break cause he never answered.

You always told him it was like talking to a wall, truly, and he always scoffed and told you he was a busy man with a busy life.

But now all of that had changed, cause suddenly now he had so much time, apparently. Always texting you every time he wanted and could, spaming your phone. You two even did calls when he walked back home or when he went to the convenience store.

You didn’t knew when it changed, but you weren’t complaining. It was like having a puppy begging for attention 24/7. Kinda fun.

[ 9:20 p.m. ] i found a cat on the way back home and it fucking bit me

[ 9:20 p.m. ] i mean, the AUDACITY

[ 9:21 p.m. ] and also, i bought you some of those chips you wanted the other day, the disgusting ones 🥰

[ 9:21 p.m. ] yeah, i know, i’m the best. don’t thank me too much, it was all me

[ 9:21 p.m. ] also, APPARENTLY you don’t put spoons on the microwave, never knew that huh

[ 9:23 p.m. ] are you gonna answer or what

[ 9:23 p.m. ] HELLOOOO??????

[ 9:26 p.m. ] do you hate me or what

[ 9:30 p.m. ] YOU’RE LITERALLY ONLINE

[ 9:30 p.m. ] WHO ARE YOU ANSWERING TO 😐😐

[ 9:31 p.m. ] why won’t you answer meeeee

[ 9:40 p.m. ] what did i do? are you mad at me and that’s why you’re not answering?

[ 9:40 p.m. ] tell me and i’ll apologize

[ 9:40 p.m. ] i’ll get on my knees

[ 9:41 p.m. ] if i get a tattoo of your name on my whole chest will you forgive me and speak to me again?

[ 10:00 p.m. ] i was taking a bath. WHAT

[ 10:00 p.m. ] HEY OMG YOU DON’T HATE ME :3

[ 10:01 p.m ] cringe. and i do hate you

[ 10:01 p.m ] also, did your microwave exploded or what?

[ 10:02 p.m. ] i wasn’t aware of microwave instructions ok, leave me alone

[ 10:04 p.m ] you stupid

You chuckled to yourself as Atsumu started spamming even more texts. It was fun.

Soon enough you got a call, and you know you two were probably gonna fall asleep on the phone once again.

O6 . PHYSICAL TOUCH

Atsumu was a sucker for physical touch, you knew that since you became friends with him. He was always bothering everyone, grabbing their hands, ruffling their hair, hugging them, any way that provided him physical touch worked for him!

It was something you were used to but not something you were always expecting, and also you were sure he wasn’t expecting any from you. Or so you thought, cause lately he’s been kinda whiny about it.

“So, see you tomorrow.” you waved at him as you closed your door after he dropped you off.

You went calmly upstairs, dropping your things in bed and then going to open the curtains and— there he was. Standing in front of the door with his arms crossed.

You raised an eyebrow and opened the window, yelling at him “The hell you’re doing?”

He looked up at you, huffing and then looking down again.

You rolled your eyes and closed your window again before making your way downstairs to see what he needed.

“What, weirdo?” you opened the door, just to see him pouting.

“Ya forgot to hug me goodbye.” he spoke through his teeth.

“Hug you goodbye?” you said with amusement.

“Yeah.” he looked down at him “Ya hate me or somethin’? Ya always hug me before ya leave.”

“Oh, my bad, king.” you mocked, before opening your arms and pulling him for a hug.

He whined but soon enough his arms wrapped around your waist, head buried into your shoulder.

You chuckled as you rolled your eyes, hands rubbing his back, feeling every muscle. Atsumu’s thumbs rubbed circles in the exposed skin of your lower back, he sighed, breathing in your soft scent.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” you mumbled.

“Yeah.” he mumbled back “I’ll pick ya up.”

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

But none of you let go of the other.

O7 . CRUSH?

As a way to celebrate the school days being finally over to go into summer break, you organized a sleepover, and now Atsumu, Osamu, Suna and Aran were there since the others couldn’t make it.

As you and the guys spoke about Osamu’s crush, you suddenly turned to Atsumu.

“And you? Any girl got your heart?” you smiled.

The room suddenly went silent, except for Suna’s low chuckle.

Atsumu was quiet too, he was thinking. Wasn’t he obvious enough? Didn’t he showed his feelings? His heart that beats to your name?

“No.” he looked down, cheeks getting red as he started fidgeting with the control he was holding.

You raised an eyebrow, looking at everyone else. It seemed like they all knew something you didn’t.

“Guys?” you mumbled, but everyone seemed to look away from you.

You looked back at Atsumu and saw his red cheeks, then you looked down, noticing your leg that was on top of his.

Suddenly something clicked in your head. And bells started ringing on your head.

Everything started making sense like a piece of a puzzle.

The girl he had a crush on, was you. Miya Atsumu had a deep crush on you and had been trying to show it to you the whole time.

And, oh god.

You were in love with him too.

[wonjuii]

Hi, I do think exposing is childish but... I want to warn people. Ever since, like around 2024, august? I was invited to a groupchat, filled with people who posts on tumblr! some were ppl i didnt know about. And.. there is marie. I thought marie was a sweet person at first, didnt talk to her since i didnt know her that much. ever since the month grew, there's a chaos drama about dodo. (i am not bringing it up that much but it will be some information direct to that chaos)

it was around... october? I dont know but lets forget that! past 3 days, marie was being too dramatic, calling me and @awwriri sensitive. (just to tell you that, I can reclaim the slurs since i took an irl test but idk if its a thing since the doctor said "it was to check if i have autism" but it was positive i guess!) It was during the lil-liaa chaos. I didnt want to say the r slur to her but i ended up saying it since there were alot of things happening. As you can tell, i asked permission to say the slur, I was worried if i am really meant to say the slur in the gc. (please anyone dont get uncomfortable!) all of the sudden, she called me insensitive..? I didn't know asking permission is considered impolite or insensitve.. we all had a small talk with marie. everything went a little okay (I assumed.) there are evidences of our small talk.

I apologised... many times. MANY TIMES. "don't be sorry" i will have to be sorry because you bashed on me and riri bc of the slur now the whole server bc of dodo?? U can't be that serious. I also mentioned that everyone deserve to be forgiven! guess marie cant accept that. I thought riri was the owner of the gc, of course i had to ask her permission but no. she wasnt the owner. i was dumb enough to not check who's really the admin of the gc. When we had a small conversation about slurs, she mentioned she cant reclaim the N WORD bc others used it?... Although she used it when she just said it TWICE. (ITS NOT A RACISM SLUR, SHES AFRICAN)

i was just trying to make a conversation, setting up a new type of topic since i got really annoyed and uncomfortable, talking about slurs. But, she continued, wouldnt even stop ending the conversation about it. I even try to convince her to bring riri back to the gc since we all wanted to see how she is.

.... okay. do u like.. hate riri or something? The fact she argued with riri, MAYBE ALMOST EVERY WEEK. MAYBE EVERY DAY. its just disgusting how shes treating the others like shes the oldest of the gc. (she tried to boss me, telling me not to say the slurs bc im insensitve) just so you know, vivi educated me more about slurs so i am not going to say it. (thank you vivi)

The text may not be necessary, but can't you tell how bad she is? if your assuming its bc her education system or shes young, i was 13, i rarely got into fights. (like twice a year.) most likely, she's to cause tons of fights. my screenshots:

(Please press to read, it might be hard for you to see!)

This is a dodo situation. you may not know why dodo didn't explain why she didn't say anything or mention her reason about ignoring to chei. here it is.

basically, she was moody (mood swings i think) I understood dodo, i have frustration issues so i get really annoyed like almost everyday. just to clarify, were not bashing on chei, this is just to show evidence about marie and things she said! more evidence when she started being rude to me... (i didnt clip that part but others may have seen it, she said something like "no, i dont want to ❤️" something like that)

shes basically thinking we dont care...

(im at the corner at the top, replying to her.) You can tell i apologised to her like many times. shes basically saying dodo doesnt deserve to defend herself because shes a bully..? do you realize what ur doing. its childish.

evidence from dodo about marie talking about dodo in her post!

i cant. this is just annoying me so bad. why is she only asking me to block her ??? im so confused. (AGAIN, please press these evidences to read!)

wow.. i just dont get whats her problem with dodo, me and riri atp?..

sigh. marie tsk tsk.. i just cant believe this. i assumed she was going to expose me but i guess not?.... also another information.. me and vini were just trying to calm her down but she started bashing on her too.

Thank you to anyone to might be reading this. Again, exposing seems childish but its the best way to do it. its for others to be warned, incase! tags : @y-unrei @n-americano @i-mmaculatus @sugarish

@miujo @i-kyujin @aestradairio @awwriri @atsubie

@aeraras @rkivefr @daddldee @p-oisn @kissunoo

@florescita @fairytopea @purinkiss @hourlyhoon

@lvioung @obdosant @tzulipss @j-eongs @yeritos

@yonkiibums @hcvenue @bitchey @babyvoxgirlie

@swhore @bloomqi @kiyeuo @chaeryeos @y-vna

@y-urios @aestradairio @aesverse

god all of that tags is MAD!!!

[rametarin]

Add "antisemite."

"Antisemitism" does NOT mean, "Right wing hatred of Jews for the wrong reasons. I'm not right wing, therefore my hatred of international Jewry is completely justified, factual and morally correct."

For too long more left-aligned people have been able to delude themselves into sneering at antisemite and right-winger as synonymous and think themselves immune to it, while they held many of the same disgusting beliefs, they just refused to specify their complete thoughts and weren't prompted the right way to explain what those are. Whether by circumstance, or deliberate covertness, knowing they were no better.

And when called out for their explicitly left-wing ideological take on why "Jews R Bad," their Youtube type "Bwaaa! I've learned! I'll try to be a better person *SNIFFLES* I have growing to do! It's this white supremacist capitalist patriarchy, it gets in your bones! They're why I was committing a social faux pas, yay intersectional feminism!" involves blaming "the right wing culture" for their extremely shitty take on Jewish people and Israel. Because any enmity towards Jewish people MUST just be because of the right wing, right!? The left can't possibly have its own disgusting, antagonistic relationship with Jewish people and Israel, right!?

They made it impossible for anyone that disagreed with them to even have conversations without seeking every opportunity to flag verbal markers like pheromone tossing bees at anyone they deemed "potentially right wing" and accusing them of just hating Jewish people to then cast them down as Nazis for clout and shitting up any discourse occurring, whether Jewish people were even mentioned or not. Allegedly in the name of combatting the bigotry, but really just witch hunting for heretics.

And I'm so glad we can just say it and not get smeared as a cliche like, "Oh yeah, that right-wing meme. 'It's you LEFT-WINGERS that are the REAL racists! :^)" because the entire generation with eyes is watching the garish haired college sheep stand shoulder to shoulder with regimes that want Jewish presence cleansed from Israel and Palestine. No way to spin this. It's cooked. It's done. Nowhere to hide culpability.

Vindication feels good.

i want to take the words "nazi," "holocaust," and "genocide" and put them on a shelf that the left can't reach until they learn how to use them properly

[tacitusk1llwhore]

Don’t cancel me for this, y’all, but I’ve seen a lot of politically charged posts about RDR (as I should; games about outlaws and the corruption of big and small government are and always will be inherently political), but one thing has really bothered and stuck out to me the most, especially in male-dominated spaces in the fandom. The idea that the Arthur Morgan in this day and age would be a raging MAGA conservative—I’ve gotten so, so many posts about it on my TikTok today, and this is finally me snapping. Here are a few arguments I’ve heard for this. “When he hears that the Democrats want to take his guns, he’d say hell no to that.” “He’s from 1899; you really think he would vote for a Black woman?” And my personal favorite: “Arthur says in-game he doesn’t engage in politics.” I’m not going to go through each of these and explain, in detail with evidence from the games themselves, why I think these are the dumbest takes I’ve ever heard in my life. In a space I hope is more open to this discussion, I hope you’ll join me.

1.) The gun control issue. I know, I know, this one seems pretty obvious; I mean, he’s a red-blooded American man and cowboy. How could anyone possibly think for a second he’d be for the party of gun control?? While this is true, you know what’s also true? The fact that he lost a child to gun violence. Now, of course we don't know exactly how Isaac and Eliza were killed, but judging from the time and efficiency, we can assume they were shot. Now let’s get away from assumptions. Arthur mourned the loss of his son, felt the agonizing, intense pain of losing a child, and said that it changed him forever, hardened his heart. Do we really for a second think that Arthur would listen to the story of Sandy Hook, Parkland, Uvalde, and countless others and say, “No, guns are more important.”? Absolutely fucking not. Not only has Arthur felt that loss, that pain, but he is deeply empathetic; hearing the testimonials of children in these buildings, families that lost their babies, would be more than enough for him to understand and push for common sense gun laws. The erasure of Arthur Morgan's trauma of losing his son and the erasure of his empathy for children and families is rampant in political spaces of the fandom; to simply assume that because Arthur is an outlaw, in modern times he would be this “don’t tread on me.” “Cares more about guns than kids” kind of guy is asinine to me. Even if he hadn’t felt that loss and that pain, there are multiple times in the game where he is given a deeper understanding of things he has never experienced; he becomes angry at that pain inflicted, takes the mission with Charles and the Bison, and hears about the vaccines being diverted from the reservations, and the Black doctor (I think he’s a doctor) you meet in Rhodes. Once he heard these stories, these testimonials, or saw the pain, the hardship, he was quick to step in and do something to make a change. He would not value weapons over the lives of people, as we can see from the game.

2.) This one is always fun to see because it assumes that Arthur is inherently racist. Now, I’m going to state one of my least favorite but still valid arguments: he has minority friends. This is very true; look at Charles, Lenny, Javier, and Tilly. Here is why it’s one of my least favorite arguments: you can have minority friends and still be racist, sexist, homophobic… Having friends doesn’t make you antiracist, so what makes Arthur antiracist? One camp interaction stands out to me the most in regards to this, the one with Tilly when they first move south. Tilly comes to Arthur in specific to talk about how nervous she is being so far south; she understands that the south is a dangerous place for dark-skinned people, especially the location they’re in. Arthur, while he tries to soothe her, pointlessly at first, claiming that it's a good place to run from the law, also understands this, almost immediately changing his tone and telling Tilly not once but twice that e personally will keep her safe, that she has his word that he personally will keep her safe; a man that has hate in his heart for POC would not do that, ever. Another interaction is one with Lenny, where Lenny points out that Arthur wouldn’t notice the difference in the more southern states because the worst they’ll do to him publicly is say that he is friends with POC (less soft than that, watch the clips of it on YouTube if you want the full dialogue), whereas for Lenny the worst that can happen to him publicly is a lynching (which he states all the way back in chapter one where he almost was lynched). Arthur is not ignorant of racism; he knows that it exists—I hate the whole “Arthur doesn’t know about racism.” Because he does, and saying he doesn’t is an insult to his intelligence and awareness of the world around him. He knows racism exists; he personally just cannot fathom it; he cannot picture himself perpetuating racism (again, see the scene in Rhodes with the Black man), which is where I think that confusion that people say he doesn’t understand it comes from—he isn’t confused by racism; he’s confused why that man assumes he’s racist, because in his head he simply can’t fathom being bigoted.

This one has two parts, so bear with me. This also assumes that Arthur is sexist; the argument I see for this is the one-off comment he makes to the working girl at the saloon, "I didn't know I was talkin' to a lady." Was this an ok statement? No. Does it make him a raging sexist? Also no. Let's look at his relationship with Sadie; he does not underestimate her because she's a woman; he trusts in her and her abilities with unwavering confidence, so much so that he entrusts the safety of John, Abigail, and Jack to her. Now let's look at the camp interactions, one of which Arthur states that he sees no difference between men and women (bi king) and that most are bad, but some are worth loving. A man who is a raging sexist would never say something like this; he would never equate men and women, but Arthur does see them as equals. I see a lot of people point out that Arthur is far more protective of the camp girls than most, but this isn't because he sees them as less than him; he just understands that a lot of them lack the ability to fully protect themselves (Love you, Tilly and Mary-Beth). He isn't quite as protective of the women that he knows with confdence can and will protect themselves with confidence, but even then he will stick up for them if needed. Arthur Morgan is a protector of women, which is so incredibly important today and back then.

3.) Here’s my favorite. Arthur doesn’t engage in politics. Looking at this in terms of the game, he absolutely does engage in politics; he has opinions on rights and the government; that is, in fact, political—he doesn’t vote, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t make political statements or isn’t even unintentionally political. Now let’s look at this in the frame of today. Being non-political in 1899 and being non-political in 2025 are two wildly different things; politics has changed drastically in the last almost decade where thngs have circled back around to be voting for or against human rights, and from my evidence above, Arthur would be voting for those rights. In modern times it is almost impossible to be nonpolitical; I dare say it's impossible. Everything now has politics attached to it; that argument is their gotcha moment because they don't understand that, which is why they make the argument in the first place.

So, why does this matter? Arthur is a pixel outlaw in a fictional setting of 1899 America. I guess in the grand scheme of life it really doesn’t, but in fandom culture it absolutely does. Many people, including myself, come to fandom spaces to escape, to cope with things from their past or events of the day, to chat about characters, and to share theories and art, and so on. Imagine someone who lost a child, sibling, or friend to gun violence logging on for their daily dose of distraction only to see someone making points as to why a character who is comforting to so many people wouldn’t care about the death of their lost loved one, just guns. A POC or member of the LGBTQ community doing the same and seeing arguments as to why Arthur is homophobic or racist. Seeing something like that is in fact harmful; taking things and stretching them to fit your narrative despite the actual source material pointing in the opposite direction requires erasure and explaining your own personal biases publicly. Someone stating that Arthur is a racist is just them stating that they themselves are a racist or that they themselves care more about guns than lives—as we’ve seen, the public stating of controversial things or overall morally reprehensible ideals when gone unchecked spirals and spreads, and soon we have a space of people who will openly state bigoted things and push the people in the fandom here for reasons of a shared enjoyment for whatever reason or the people who use things to cope or as a distraction out of the space, effectively ruining it and potentially the outlook on the content of the game. Fandom spaces shouldn’t tolerate bigotry, and lots of Red Dead fans have been expressing bigotry lately, and these people have started to go completely unchecked. It bothers me; it always will, even if it is just a silly cowboy game.

[bitchface24-7]

Oops my hand slipped and I’m back again (for the 3rd day in a row (I think I have a problem))

So following the trend of me seeing too many fanfics of smthn I don’t vibe with, I’ve noticed that a lot of Jayce and/or Viktor x reader fics have the reader as a scientist (makes sense writing-wise, provides a lot of opportunity for characters to interact and bond)

Problem is, I am dogshit at science. I was good at most subjects in high school, but science? Nearly failed. I was good at math and word problems too which made it even more confusing to me but it is what it is ig. So I was hoping for another JayVik x reader where this time, the reader is an artist

Now I primarily draw OCs and people (usually digital or w/ marker) so I’d like smthn leaning towards that but frankly you can do whatever

I just think it’s be funny if, while Jayce n Viktor do their cool nerd shit, the reader is fully unhelpful and doodling in their sketchbook. Quality time except I’m drawing sexualized men (gender equality) and my hot boyfriends are solving global trade or whatever

(Mayhaps also drawing them for studies and anatomy practice and showing them because I like forcing ppl to look at my art >:)) )

Again, take as long as you need to write this, hope you’re doing good :))

MY MUSES - JAYVIK X READER

synopsis: after escaping Noxus with your best friend Mel, you've cherished the peace of Piltover compared to the wartime of Noxus. You were able to flourish in the city of progress with your artistry. It was the way you and Mel found solace in your old home. Now, you've been commissioned by the council to paint a portrait of the Hextech duo.

warnings: talks of wartime, insecurities, awkward talk, becoming friends with J + V, anatomy practice, complimenting your two boys, fluff, Grammarly is my beta

genre: m/m/f or m/m/m

p.s. I understand your frustration, even I've fallen into “make reader a scientist to make life a little easier.” I hope y'all enjoy artist reader!

You're painting in your studio at the Academy when the door is opened, and you smell the delicious fragrance of vanilla, cardamom, and sandalwood, it’s Mel.

You put your paintbrush down and turn to look at your best friend, a smile beaming on your face. You get up and go for a hug before stopping yourself, your clothes are stained with paint and you don’t want to ruin Mel’s pretty white dress.

She fondly rolls her eyes and pulls you into a hug anyway. Mel’s not a very touchy person. It was seen as a weakness is Noxus. She’s only really touchy with you, you’ve been her friend for as long as you can remember. She wholeheartedly trusts you.

And you know how rare that is.

“Hello dove. How’re you today?”

You scrunch your nose at the nickname, it was a nickname given to you when you were much younger. “It’s because you don’t see the glory of war. You’re gentle. Something I desperately need in my life.” Mel had explained, her Medarda Mask no where in sight.

“I’m good. I’m almost done the landscape you commissioned for the council room.”

Mel’s smile widens the tiniest bit, but her gaze is downcast. This isn’t a social call. She’s been tasked to ask you something.

“Mel, I understand. Just, tell me what you need from me.”

A sigh escapes the gorgeous woman, “The council has requested a portrait to be made of the two Hextech innovators, Viktor and Jayce Talis.”

You raise your brows in confusion, “Okay… why is that a bad thing?”

Mel leans on a clean section of your work station, a hand coming up to rub her forehead, “They’re constantly working. They don’t see the prospect of taking a break. If you were to paint them, you’d have to paint them in the lab; as they do dangerous experiments. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

You place your hand over top Mel’s hand that’s braced against the desk, “I’ll be okay. I can’t imagine they’d let anyone get hurt.”

Mel nods sagely, the hand that was rubbing her forehead is now placed over your hand. She’s now cupping your one hand and rubbing her thumb over your knuckles.

“I’ll tell them what the council has demanded. When will you be free to paint them?”

You look over to the almost finished landscape painting sitting on your easel, “Give me a week.”

Mel nods, gives you one last hug, and leaves your studio to break the news to Viktor and Jayce.

You just hope they’re nice to you.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ───��─── · ·

The week passed by in a flash, and here you are. Standing in front of two very large doors that make you feel like your heart is going to beat out of your chest.

You don’t understand why you’re so nervous. You’ve painted portraits of the top-class in Piltover. The cream of the crop. The top one percent, and you were fine. You were mentally rolling your eyes every few minutes, but you were fine.

You’re now asked to paint two scientists and you feel like you’re going to have a stroke.

At least Mel gave you some advice in regards to both men, “Jayce is quite kind, easy-going, and easy to talk to. You’ll make quick friends with him as you are. His partner Viktor on the other hand… is a different story. He’s cordial, but stubborn. He’s quite witty with a sass that almost matches mine. He’d prefer it if you skipped the flowery talk and just got straight to the point. He’s not a fan of the mind numbing politics of Piltover. Say what you mean or don’t say anything at all.”

With that mantra repeating in your head, you knock on the doors to their lab.

“Come in!” A voice exclaims, “We cannot leave our stations, the gems may become volatile if we do.” Another voice adds, this time with an unfamiliar accent.

You lightly push open the doors and are stunned by the state of the lab. Papers everywhere, equations on a blackboard you don’t even want to attempt to understand, ink stains, scraps of metal.

You suppose this is their version of an art studio.

“Oh!” The first voice you heard exclaims, “You must be Mel’s friend, the one who’s been commissioned to paint us. I’m Jayce. The one brooding over there with goggles on his face is Viktor.”

A scoff, “I am not brooding. I simply do not see the purpose of a portrait being made of us. It takes time away from our research!”

You cut in, reminding yourself of Mel’s advice, “The council has ordered it. Besides, I need to study you two for a little bit. Understand your anatomy and proportions. Then when I have a clear understanding, we’ll take one day out of your schedule to get the painting done.”

Viktor raises his goggles, putting them into is hair and the most beautiful pair of eyes you’ve ever seen narrows onto you, “You’ll only need one day to paint us?”

“The weather is constantly changing. That means so is my light source, my shadows, my colours.” You explain easily, “If we spend the whole day together, I’ll be able to easily get the portrait done and you two can go back to work. Sound good?”

Viktor purses his lips before nodding, Jayce just looks between the two of you with a small smile. He thought that would’ve taken a lot longer.

Guess you’re pretty special.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

One Week Later.

Their work is fascinating. You don’t understand quite a bit of it, but their enthusiasm and passion make up for your lack of knowledge.

Here they are trying to solve most of the worlds problems and you’re sketching them in your sketchbook with hearts in your eyes.

You focus on their bodies, how they bend, contort, their planes and shadows. How light glows onto them.

You focus on their unique features. Jayce’s sharp canines, Viktor’s cheekbones and moles. Jayce’s broad chest and Viktor’s cane and brace.

Those two points are especially important. They’re so detailed. And they’re a part of Viktor, you’re not going to erase something so vital to him as a human being to make the portrait “nicer to look at” according to the upper echelon of Piltover.

You’re so lost in your thoughts you don’t feel a presence come up behind you, “Whatcha doing?”

You jolt, putting a hand to your heart as your pencil drops to the ground, “By Janna Jayce! You scared me!”

A boisterous laugh permeates the lab, “You we’re so focused, I couldn’t help but wonder what you were doing.”

“We’ll… I was drawing my two very beautiful muses.”

There’s a small silence in the lab.

“Your—“ Viktor starts, then clears his throat as Jayce stands there, stunned, “Your beautiful muses?”

You nod, not realizing their disbelief, “Of course. The two of you have such beautiful features. Jayce is quite tall, with broad shoulders, a tiny waist, and strong legs. A nice hair cut, strong brows, big eyes, and pink lips. You, Viktor on the other hand—“

You’re cut off by said man, “Are not as conventional—“

You cut him off this time, “Are also tall, lean, lithe, with long beautiful legs. You have a face carved out of marble, messy hair, eyes that look like liquid gold, beauty marks, and a nice pale complexion that compliments Jayce’s tan. You’re both quite handsome, just is different ways.”

The two men are stunned into silence, and it takes a few minutes before you realize what you said. You feel your face heat up as you try to hide behind your sketch book. Viktor lightly smiles at that as Jayce laughs and forces your sketch book back down onto your lap.

“You know, I’ve never heard such an honest compliment before.”

“Neither have I.”

You feel like killing yourself. Maybe jumping out of one of the lab windows will do the trick.

“So,” Viktor’s interrupts your dark humorous thoughts, “Do you feel prepared to paint the portrait?”

You look the two men dead in the eye, even as embarrassment consumes you.

“Yes.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

A day is set and you bring all your art supplies that you need into the lab. You even set up a place for the portrait to be.

The setting will be in front of their main work station, the hexcore and hexgems glittering in the background. You brought a comfortable armchair for Viktor to sit on, you know these paintings can take some time and you don’t want to over-exert his leg. You assume Jayce can stand for a few hours, placed right next to Viktor.

As you explain your thought process to them, the more excited they seem. And to think, they didn’t want to do this originally.

“Ok, get comfortable. Viktor you can put your cane to rest against one of the arms of the chair. Jayce, can you place your hand on the top of the headrest? Perfect. You two comfortable?”

You get nods and yes’ as your answer.

With that, you start to paints them.

You ensure to be as diligent as possible. You start with the boys, adding bits and pieces to the background as you go. You make sure to her the green in Jayce’s eyes, the beauty marks on Viktor’s face. The house Talis emblem on Jayce’s jacket; the intricacies of Viktor’s cane and leg brace. The purple and blue glows of the Hextech give the painting an almost magical feeling.

You have to say, this may be your best portrait yet.

A couple hours pass and you deem the painting complete. The two boys sigh, Jayce cracks his back as Viktor cracks his neck. Most of the painting was done is silence, a few tiny conversations sprinkled throughout the process.

You didn’t want them to move.

The two come to where you’re sitting and gaze at the portrait in awe. It’s… them. It looks so life like, as good as a picture. But it’s softer, it looks beautiful.

And they look phenomenal.

“Are you sure that’s us?” Viktor jokes, pointing at the painting, “Those men are incredibly handsome.”

You cock an eyebrow at him, “Now you know what to say when you look in a mirror. That’s how you look, and it’s how you’ll be remembered.”

Jayce smiles and puts a hand on both your and Viktor’s shoulders. Viktor looks touched at the sentiment.

“You should move your art stuff to be here. Permanently.” Jayce states easily.

You almost choke on your own spit, “Pardon? Why would I do that?”

“Because we'd miss you,” Viktor replies a cocky look on his face.

You huff out a laugh, “Ill be of no help to you. I'm not a science brain. I'd just be in the lab drawing you two constantly.”

“We’d pose for you.” Jayce jokes

“Even if I wanted to practice nude anatomy?”

Viktor hums, “Not in the lab obviously, but yes even then.”

You smile at them, “It’s a deal then.”

And to think you were scared they wouldn't be nice to you. You just obtained two pretty muses (hopefully for the rest of your life.)

TADA!!! This was such a cute request. I hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. Pebble, you keep those requests coming (and everyone else who requests too 🫵😏)

I have like four requests now in my inbox and I squealed when I saw it. I've never had so many requests before. Usually my inbox has like… spam and fishing schemes. So this is amazing to me!!

[esosage]

I need a vamp robotnik au set in the crab so bad. Like i crave that shit carnally. You dont understand.

Just envison the ship potential. Like i cant imagine that stone could live in close proximity with a vamp robotnik withought getting bitten once or twice. Especially when the only reliable food source robotnik has when in hiding from the government IS STONE! A fact that could be made even better if you make it so that robotnik hasnt bitten anyone before, up until that point.

Just imagine robotnik having gone through YEARS of fighting his urges. Of makeing sure that he wont let something as biological as "hunger" control him. Doing everything he can to avoid drinking from a human, only to be put in a situation years down the line where thats the only solution. And the worst part is that it's his assistant of all people! Like how would robotnik feel? What lengths would he go to in order to avoid the inevitable? How would he react when the time comes? Hell, how would stone react? How would he feel about robotnik starving himself? What would he do?

And when it inevitablly does happen, and robotnik is forced to feed from stone what happens? Does stone become a vampire, or is he fine? And what about robotnik? Does he, after practically being given his first drop of water in a desert after drinking sand his whole life, get addicted? Can he, after being given the best tasting blood he's ever had, still control the urge to feed from stone again? Does it become routine? Does he embrace the oprotunity to feed from stone with open arms from then on? or, does he lie awake at night, tossing in bed next to stone as he tries his best to not sink his teeth in?

Ugh i need to knooow. Besides, theres so much shennanigens you can have with someone living that close to a vampire, for that long. Its driving me crazy.

(Also if robotniks a vampire, is gerald a vampire aswell? I mean it would explain how he's still alive. Is the whole robotnik family vampires? Are they the only vampires out there? And if so, because robotnik was too young to know any of them, how much does robotnik know about vampirism? If much at all? I mean sure, some things he understands naturally, but i doubt it would be everything.. Hell, there could even be some things that robotnik missunderstands about his own biology, since the only real reference for vampires he would have would be the ones in cartoons. Maybe that could be an additional reason as to why he brushes stone asside in favor of gerald, outside of wanting to bond with his long lost grandpop. He finnally has someone who's like him! Who knows and understands what's going on, and can even answer some of robotniks questions about vampirism that no one before him {not even robotnik himself,} ever could! Kinda like a mentor figure in a way. I'm sure robotnik would be thrilled to find out that he's not the only vampire. Especially since it must have been pretty lonely and ostrasizing to have been a vampire growing up. To be so fundementaly different from the rest of his peers, with "quirks" that no one could explain. So there deffinetly would be a sense of kinship that ivo would hold twards gerald in that regard.)

[playfullypastelpupper]

CW/TW- Kink Mentioned ---------------------------------- --------------------------

I agree on not villainizing and trying their events if you feel safe. There is a lot of sfw members in those communities. I for one was in those communities as sfw before I knew regression. But like others said- PTSD and minors are in our community. They can't go to these events. We also got to keep in mind regression can be involuntary and can be outside of an adult headspace. Are they excluded for not being able to give consent in the moment? Are most of these events accommodating? We also got to keep in mind littles apart of DID systems. What if they go to a panel that seems safe but includes kink terminology and roleplaying and then the systems have to explain. In regard there are many people there who are in an adult mindset and may talk about adult topics even if you don't consent to it nearby. It can knock the agere out of their safe mindset or trigger PTSD in that moment. For PTSD it can be scary to approach or even consider attending. They deserve a space as much as anyone. A place their own. I understand going out and trying things. The conventions are really nice for nostalgia and having fun. But I can't say it's completely sfw for a regressor as someone who also watched the cons and interacted with the community. It can have subtle small flags that may send an age regressor into turmoil who feels unsafe. For example a food panel could end up with suggestive roleplaying. Or someone may bring up kink exploration during a meetup. Even a playroom could have NSFW conversations hinted at. Its fair they'd want their own space as much as its fine if you want to explore these events yourself. Everyone cares for their safety and wants differently. Saying they should go and try this while treating others feelings as something to be mad about is unfair. I get agere can be hard to duals and kink. I've seen some strong words said. I know people hurt by it. People who felt excluded and guilty for who they are. I agree. Yes we can tone down our own emotions to be kinder. We can, especially through understanding. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way or different expressions of age regression that don't fit in neatly. I'm glad people can relate. I'm glad they have the opportunity to do this if they are comfortable. It's a great way to regain some childhood back or self grow. But separation as a community exists for a reason. Some of these policings happened because of the past harm peoples been through and the fear of it happening to others or even to themselves. If you're hurt at someone not wanting minors seeing kink content or ending up in kink spaces due to crosstagging. (Which mind you duals tend not to crosstag because they understand.) Age regressors not wanting to be kicked out of their own spaces, which has happened, and turned into a dating/NSFW space. Or kicked into a bad space because of seeing something that may remind them of trauma. All because you don't care for separation. And Without separation looking for a Caregiver can turn dangerous. Then maybe you need just as much understanding for other age regressors experiences as much as sfw kink. Because even if they are SFW they are still in a Kink Space. History is important here. We have a whole history on why we stay apart as communities online. What I'm trying to get at.. Don't undermine experiences or concerns. You can't rise a group up and then beat another down. You can dislike something but you should be careful with the impact you speak of. You don't have to understand for them to have an opinion on their boundaries. And I'm sorry to any age regressors that read this post and saw them calling those above an embarrassment for simply being uncomfortable with kink in their space. I understand being hurt by mean words like calling someone 'icky' for existing. That hurts people too. Just bare in mind there is also no excuse for calling someone names. You are just as wrong. Either one can be mean and guilt causing toward that person. Just stay safe and love who you are. Take care kiddos

Stealing these photos from a K!nk convention because these looks like so much fun and I wish I could have this environment for non-sexual agere littles.

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 21/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: A new part for you all 🥳 It was difficult for me to write this. By the way, I should have written a little more, this part should have included more scenes. But I was forced to replace and post this part as it turned out. Please let me know if you liked it 🥺💜 Because it was so hard for me 🥹

⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and LOVE you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋 Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @ambiee3, @mianhae-baozi (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 21. The Dance of Souls on the Edge of the Abyss. 

Jungkook hesitates a bit, looking closely at your face, as if trying to catch the slightest hint of what you're feeling. You continue to avoid his gaze, hoping that this will hide your inner storm.  

He nods slightly, holding the boxes of food, and heads over to the table by the microwave. You hear him set them down on the countertop, opening the packages. The metallic sound of the microwave door breaking the tense silence. 

Time seems to slow down. You fight with yourself, with the urge to run away and approach him at the same time. After all, he made you suffer. But now that he's so close, your heart seems to find a peace it hasn't felt in weeks. 

You try to get down to work, ignoring Jungkook's presence, but your eyes keep coming back to him like a magnet. You're standing behind the counter, putting cigarettes on the counter, and you see Jungkook's broad back. He's fiddling with a box of ramen and rustling a package of onigiri. 

You scold yourself mentally for looking at him. You should be concentrating on your work. An hour passes. Jungkook has eaten, but he's not going anywhere.

The store is crowded tonight, you're constantly serving people. It's because it's Saturday. On weekends, there are always people at night in a convenience store. This saves you, because you don't pay so much attention to the presence of a person who occupies all your thoughts. Another hour passes, and Jungkook is still sitting at the table. 

You can't go over and see what he's doing, all you can see is his broad back. He's turned away. You think that maybe he has to meet someone here, so he showed up today. That might explain why he's not leaving. Maybe he didn't even know you worked here and ran into you by chance? 

You made eye contact with him a few times. Jungkook has been sitting with his back turned almost all the time, but now he's sitting with his back to the countertop, which is located near the panoramic window of the store. He was openly watching you work without hiding it. Sometimes you glanced over at him and saw him looking bored, staring at his phone. 

The work went by quickly, and you didn't notice how it was getting light outside. When you felt drowsy sitting at the cash register, you decided to look at your watch. It was seven thirty in the morning. You rounded your eyes. Time had passed so quickly. In half an hour, Sunchol should be here. You yawn sleepily, locking your phone and putting it in your pocket. 

You hear something fall and immediately look up. Jungkook has dropped his car keys on the ground. He quickly picks them up and catches your eye. He smiles an apologetic smile. You look at him and realize that he's been sitting with you all night. You're kind of glad about it, but on the other hand, you wonder why he needed to if he was just sitting there. He could have talked if he wanted to. 

Jungkook walks over to the cash register and you get to your feet. Your heart was calm while he was at a distance, but as soon as he approaches, you're not yourself. 

"Two packs of Black Purple sticks, please?" - Jungkook asks you. You look at him for a second and turn to the showcase of IQOS sticks. You pick up a black pack of cigarettes. 

"Nine thousand won." - You answer. "It’s be payment a map?" - Jungkook nods his head in agreement. You enter the amount on the terminal and hand it over. Jungkook pays and takes the sticks. 

"When do you get off work?" - Jungkook asks you. You are confused for a moment. 

"At eight o'clock." - You answer. But you immediately regret it. You realize that he might want to talk. But you're not sure if you're ready to talk to him right now. 

"Do you mind if I give you a ride home?" - He asks with hope in his voice. You look into his eyes, and you don't want to say “no”. You really want him to give you a ride. Now you know for sure that he stayed up all night for you. 

"I live right next door, so no need." - You answer. Jungkook nods his head a few times quickly, as if to say "I get it." 

"Then I'll just walk you home?" - He doesn't give up. You're glad he's persistent. You pinch your fingers nervously. 

"Don't you have any other plans? Like going home and getting some sleep?" - You suggest. Jungkook smiles. You can see how tired he looks. 

"I don't want to sleep." - He says. You squint your eyes. He's lying to you again. You are a little more silent than necessary. 

"But I want to." - You suddenly admit, which makes Jungkook laugh. For a moment, you forget what kind of relationship you have and feel relaxed. It's like coming home after a long journey. Your phone vibrates and you take it out to see who has texted you. 

07.39 AM | Doohoon: Candy, I'll come get you in 20 minutes. 

You nervously text back, ignoring the way Jungkook is admiring you. He comes as close to the counter as he can to see every detail. To memorize every feature of your beautiful face as clearly as possible. He missed you so much. 

07.40. AM | You: There's no need to go. I've already left because Sunchol came early. I'm going to sleep, so don't come over

You lock your phone and notice Jungkook, who is close by. He smiles playfully when he sees your scared look. You immediately feel embarrassed by that smile. You know it so well, Jungkook often used it when he knew he was embarrassing you. 

"So I'll walk you." - He says, not asking, but telling you. You press your lips into a thin line. This is what you want. Admit it. Why are you resisting? You feel your heart start to beat faster. His voice was soft but insistent, and you found it hard to deny.

"Jungkook..." - You start, but he immediately interrupts you. 

"I know you don't want me here…" - He sighs, looking away, but then back to you. "But I'm just going to walk with you. Nothing more." - You can't find anything to say. Two feelings are fighting in your head: anxiety that he's back and warmth that he's here.

"Nothing will change if you walk me home." - You say, hiding your hands in your pockets. "So there's no point in it." 

"What if I told you that it changes everything for me?" - He replies, leaning a little closer. You look at him nervously again, but try to keep a cool expression on your face.

"You're very stubborn, you know?" - You try not to smile. 

"I know." - Jungkook smiles, unlike you. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to spend the whole night with you without saying a word, and now I'm standing here hoping you'll let me walk these few steps next to you." - You are amazed. He wants to be close to you that badly? It's so exciting. Especially when you feel the same way.

But you can't be fooled. How does he make you forget everything you've been through because of him so easily? Why does just looking at him make you think that the Jungkook you're looking at now is the real one, not the one that was in the warehouse three weeks ago?

"You shouldn't want something like this..." - You say dryly. You wonder to yourself how you can talk to him like that. But you have to do it because you don't want to suffer anymore. You have already left everything to fate once.

"But I want to." - Jungkook says decisively. "There's no way you're going to deny me." - You raise your eyebrows. You really can't say no to him. The thought irritates you. 

"I can deny to you walking me home." - You say, smiling almost triumphantly. 

"But you haven't done that yet." - Jungkook curls his lips. You open your mouth to protest, but before you can answer, Sunchol walks into the shop. 

"Did you see that Mercedes parked outside the store? Damn, that car..." - He freezes when he sees the picture in front of him. You're standing there, annoyed, with your mouth open, and Jungkook is standing close to the counter, leaning on it. "Good morning." - Sunchol greets the two of you and bows. Most likely to Jungkook, because he has never bowed to you. Sungchul walks toward you, and Jungkook steps away from the counter, while you look down and clean up your workspace and prepare it for your partner. 

"Do you like the car?" - Jungkook asks Sunchol, who has come over and is about to go behind the counter to you. 

"Yes." - The guy answers awkwardly. Jungkook notices how he takes a second to study him with his eyes. 

"Do you want me to give you a ride?" - Jungkook asks. You and Sunchol stare at Jungkook. He smiles as if he offered free ice cream, not a ride in his G-Wagon to your partner.

"Thank you, sir." - Sunchol bowed, overcoming the shock of the offer. "But I don't have a driver's license, and I don't know how to drive well." - He replied. Jungkook purrs in understanding and turns his gaze to you.

You roll your eyes defiantly and open the cash register to count the money. Jungkook laughs quietly. Sunchol sees that you two have some kind of relationship. You wouldn't roll your eyes at a normal customer like that. 

"You must be Doohoon? Y/N's friend?" - Your partner asks. You want to answer that Jungkook is not the Doohoon you mentioned to Sunchol in passing, but Jungkook interrupts you. 

"I'm Jungkook, Y/N's boyfriend." - Jungkook was annoyed that he was confused with Doohoon. Did you introduce him to this guy as your friend? 

You freeze up. Who did he say he was? Has he so much insolent? 

"You forgot to add ex." - You said ironically. Jungkook pursed his lips, and you turned your eyes to his mole under his lip. It was your favorite, except for the one on the right side of his neck. 

Jungkook leans forward a little, leaning on the counter, and looks you in the eye. His gaze is a mixture of challenge and insistence.

"I'm not the ex, I'm the present, and I always will be your boyfriend." - His voice is calm but confident, as if he's just made an indisputable statement.

You rest your hands on the counter and lean in closer, keeping your eyes on him too.

"That's a bold statement, but you forgot to ask me if I agree with it." - You say coldly, though your chest is tight.

"I... I think I'll go check on the back room." - Sunchol says, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, and quickly finds an excuse to leave the counter. He walks away, and you cross your arms over your chest and keep your eyes on Jungkook.

"Why did you say that? Do you think you can decide what kind of relationship we have?" - You asked angrily. 

"I don't decide of my own, it's the way it is. We're boyfriend and girlfriend." - Jungkook says. You exhale nervously. 

"No, we're not together anymore. I thought you realized that the last time we saw each other." - You say, trying to control your emotions. 

"We just had a fight. That's what happens when people get together." - Jungkook said casually. So he thinks that when you were kidnapped, tried to be hurt because of him, and you heard all the terrible things he did, you had a simple fight against the background of these events? Is it that simple for him? 

"We had a fight? I was kidnapped because of you. They wanted to cut me into pieces. We did not quarrel. I left you so that I could be okay. And now you come here and say you're my boyfriend. What makes you think you can come into my life like this?" - You were irritated. 

Jungkook straightens up a little, taking a step back, and keeps his eyes on you.

"Because I'm already in it. I always have been. And I will be, even if you're trying to deny it now." - He says decisively. For a moment, you remember how good it was when he didn't talk all night. He annoys you, although if you're honest, you liked the way he said it: "I'm already in him, I've always been and I'll always be." You want to believe that Chunguk will always be in your life. You sigh, but your persistence begins to weaken.

"Jungkook... We... we have nothing. It's not going to work. We're strangers." - You say, looking down and counting the money. You have to count it to finish the shift. The boss is coming in soon, but you can't get your thoughts together at all. 

"We're not strangers, baby...and we never will be." - Jungkook says softly. You almost cry at the sweet nickname he likes to call you. Your heart is tightening and your breathing is getting harder. You want to say something back, but the words get stuck in your throat.

"I have to hand in my shift. I need to count the money..." - You want to say that Jungkook should leave because he's interfering with your work, but he knows what you're about to say, so he interrupts. 

"I'll wait. And then I'll walk you home." - You see those eyes in Bambi's and you can't say “no”. 

"Maybe I don't want you to know where I live." - You say more softly. Jungkook is amused. 

"Oh, baby, you know I'm going to find out anyway... or I already do." - Jungkook says. You sigh in frustration.

"Okay..." - You finally agree. He really pressed you. 

You look down at your feet and lose yourself in space. You feel a little tense. In fact, you are tired and want to sleep, but when you realize that Jungkook is next to you, your tiredness is gone. He touches your hand with his own, as if by accident, letting the person who was walking to meet him pass. 

This accidental touch burns in the place where he touched you. You have forgotten what it feels like when he touches you. How his hugs and kisses feel like. How it’s when his naked skin feels like when it's pressed against yours. You burn at the thought of such intimate images with Jungkook. You haven't had sex in three weeks, and you sure Jungkook hasn't either. So even this simple contact makes you think about forbidden things. 

"Do you like living in this neighborhood?" - Jungkook asks to get your attention. You stare at him for just a second, unable to bear his gaze. You pull your arms around the collar of your jacket to keep it from getting too cold. 

"Yes." - You say. Although the real answer to this question is “no”. No, because there is no Jungkook here, annoying Doohoon comes here, it's too far from the university campus, and the apartment is expensive. You don't like living here at all, but how can you say that to him? 

"How are you doing? Have you been sick? Are you eating well?" - Jungkook asks. You freeze in the middle of the sidewalk. Jungkook doesn't immediately notice that you're not there. After he walks a few steps, he turns around, looking for you. You look at him, a lump stuck in your throat. You cannot speak. You think if you do, you'll cry. If only this fool knew how you've been beating yourself up for the past three weeks. That you couldn't sleep properly, that you had no appetite, and that you even lost four kilograms. 

Jungkook keeps looking at you and comes over. He tries to understand what you are going to do now, whether to cry or scream.

"Tell me why you came, Jeon. I don't want to talk to you like we're old friends who haven't seen each other for a long time." - You say, overcoming the pain in your chest and the lump in your throat. Jungkook exhales in frustration. Your cold and harsh tone upsets him. 

"You know why I came here, baby." - He says quietly. Your heart is fluttering. You probably know, but you need to hear it. 

"Just tell me. Because maybe we don't think alike. I don't really know you." - You say colorlessly. Jungkook bites his lip nervously. You look at his lips for a split second, and you wish you could taste them. Jungkook is silent. The silence seems like an eternity to you, until Jungkook works his fucking magic.He can read your mind and do what you want?

You don't understand how it happened, or where your consciousness was a moment ago, because when Jungkook's lips are on yours, you still don't realize it. Or when he presses down harder on your jaw, and his cold fingers contrast against your skin. Or when his warm, soft lips kiss yours desperately. You finally realize what's happening.

It feels like when you see fireworks go off. This delight. It is the same. It tears your soul apart, makes your heart beat furiously in your chest, and thoughts simply cease to exist in your head. There is only Jungkook and his lips. You respond because you wanted to. You thirst for those lips, you need them.

Jungkook kisses you gently, lovingly. He dreamed of this. He wanted you to respond to this desired kiss so badly, and now your lips are moving to meet his. His insides are trembling. He deepens the kiss when you respond. His tongue slips into your mouth and catches your tongue. They connect and the kiss makes your head spin. 

You instantly feel aroused. You've missed Jungkook, and his passionate kiss, which was apologetic at first, has become demanding. You're in the middle of the street, and people might be looking at you. But you don't care, and neither does Jungkook. He could kiss you even when you're out of air.

But you need to breathe in. You try to pull away. You pull away for a second when Jungkook captures your lips again. He doesn't want to let you go. You take a step back, trying to get away, but Jungkook step forward, holding your face in his hands without even thinking about letting go. 

"Jungkook..." - You call out to him, almost against his lips. He has to let you go, because you can't kiss forever. Although if he wanted to, he would. He would kiss those lips in front of him for the rest of his life. Jungkook is moving away, but not that far. You can see every mole on his face in detail. His obsidian eyes, which seem to look into your very soul. 

"I can't live without you..." - He says, stroking your cheeks with his thumb. "I thought I should leave you alone so you wouldn't suffer anymore because of me. But I'm so fucking selfish..." - Jungkook says. Your breathing is getting faster. You stare at Jungkook in silence, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to escape at any second. "I don't know how to make you come back. You've been in my life for so long, I can't imagine it without you." 

"Jungkook..." - You say in a trembling voice. "I've been in your life for as long as you've been in mine. Do you think I can let you go that easily?" - You ask. Jungkook smiles sadly. "But..." - You start, but he interrupts you. 

"I knew you were going to say that. There's always a fucking 'but'." - He says in frustration. He doesn't let go of you, and you stand within touching distance of each other. 

"Yes, there is." - You clear your throat. "For us to be together, you need to stop being who you are." - Jungkook looks at you, studying your expression, and then lets go. He takes a step back. 

"And who I am Y/N? I'd like to hear who you think I am." - Jungkook says, dejectedly. 

"You are not the Jungkook I knew. You've become different, and I don't know who you are. Whether you're a heartless killer or just a hostage to the situation." - You said honestly. Jungkook smiled. But it was not a friendly smile. It was desperate, on the verge of hysteria. 

"I have changed. It's true. But I'm not as horrible as Doohoon made me out to be in your eyes. Yes, I may have done and am doing terrible things, but I have to do this. Because if I don't, it will be done to me, or worse, to those I love." - Jungkook explains to you. You think of the right words to say. While you are thinking, Jungkook speaks for you first. "But I know for sure that my feelings for you are the same as they were. They grew bigger every year until you made me fall in love with you. I do love you. And I will do everything to make you mine forever." - Your emotions are out of control after these words. Your eyes instantly fill with tears. He told you that he loves you. He loves you and you just can't wrap your head around it. He's been your best friend all your life, and you could never have imagined, when you secretly dreamed of him, that he would confess his love to you. 

"What?" - You ask in a trembling voice. Salty tears are quietly flowing down your cheeks, freezing on your face, but it doesn't matter. 

"I love you, my baby." - He says without thinking. He kisses you and tastes the saltiness of your tears. You pull away from each other, but you feel something unresolved pressing on your soul. 

"Jungkook, you don't have to be Namjoon's errand boy. You can leave because it's not your duty." - You say. Jungkook hugs you, and when he hears what you say, his grip loosens, but you're still in his arms. 

"You know why I work for Namjoon. Until all the money is returned, he won't let me go." - Jungkook explains. 

"It's now up to Doohoon to give the money back. He's in Korea." - You saying. It's that simple for you. The reason is that Namjoon wants Jungkook to be the one to pay off the debt, to keep him around as long as possible. Jungkook has no doubt that Namjoon will take care of Doohoon if he needs to. 

"Yes. So let him pay it back." - Jungkook says with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You look up at him, and look up at his beautiful face. He smiles out of one corner of his mouth. 

"Why are you like this? It's not funny, I'm telling you real things. If he's guilty, he should pay for his actions himself." - You say, offended. 

"He will never do that." - Jungkook replies. "If he had been my true friend from the beginning, I wouldn't have ended up next to Namjoon at all. Doohoon did everything he could to make me who I am. He wanted me to come down from the pedestal of my perfection and become the exact opposite. He did a great job. Now I'm not the perfect Jungkook I was in high school and university. I'm a gangster who makes his living in a dirty way." - He says this so calmly, as if it's all just something to be accepted and nothing to be done about. You don't like his tone. 

"Doohoon is a rare shit, everyone knows that. But if I ask him to do it, he'll do it. I'm sure if I ask him to pay back the debt, he will." - You say with hope in your voice. Jungkook laughs shamelessly at your position. You sound like a naive child. You raise your eyebrows, which makes Jungkook laugh even harder. 

"Are you sure you're talking about the same person we know?" - Jungkook asks through his laughter. 

"Yes." - You say irritated. Jungkook shakes his head and tries to calm down. 

"It's not going to happen. He will never payment his debt, that you and I can live happily together. That thing likes you, and I'm ready to grind him to a halt for it. Even it’s seems like he listen you, he wouldn't do it." - Jungkook said serious now. You tense your brows. You pull away from Jungkook and think you should leave. Your legs hurt and you want to sleep. You think about asking Jungkook to come over to your place. 

You suggest that you go on, and Jungkook agrees. You hold his hand, and he smokes an IQOS with the flavor of wild berries and menthol. Sometimes, when the wind blows in your direction, this combination of smells tickles your chemoreceptors. Although you don't like the smell of IQOS sticks. 

"Do you think I won't persuade him?" - You ask. Jungkook exhales the smoke. 

"No. And I would even ask you not to." - Jungkook says. He takes another drag, and you watch his lips cover the filter. 

"Why?" - You ask immediately. 

"Because fuck knows what's going on in his head." - Jungkook explains. You don't understand what he's talking about. 

"Okay. Let's pretend for a minute that he agrees..." - You suggest. Jungkook stops. You stop after him. 

"That's not going to happen. Why even pretend it?" - You hear the irritation in his voice. 

"You didn't listen to me. That's not what I wanted to ask." - You say, however the irritation in your voice is obvious. "If he agrees to pay back the debt. Namjoon will let you go?" - You ask. You see Jungkook tense up at your question. You don't like this. 

"He should..." - Jungkook says in a low voice. His answer sounded so unsure, like he didn't believe it himself. 

"He should?" - You ask. "So it's not a given that he's going to let you go." 

"He promised and he would, but I'm not sure it will be that easy." - Jungkook admits. 

"I can talk to him, however he wants you to..." - Jungkook interrupts you before you can finish your sentence. 

"No!" - Jungkook says sharply. "Don't even think about it. You can't see Namjoon under any circumstances. He's not someone you can just talk to." - He almost yelled at you. You were embarrassed. "You heard me Y/N. Don't even think you can go talk to him. You can't." - Jungkook took your hands, shaking them slightly. 

"Okay, I understand." - You say with bitterness in your voice.

You walk and reach your house. You tell Jungkook in which building you live, but by his expression you realize that he seems to know. You have a thousand and one thoughts in your head. Before you invite Jungkook, who clearly wants to come over, you want to complete the dialog you've been started. One thought triggers you and you want to know the answer to it. 

"Jungkook, the man who stole me...." - You start, but you stop talking because it's hard for you to remember that moment. 

"What about him?" - Jungkook asks you. Honest you want to know if Jungkook really threatened your kidnapper with a child. 

"I wanted to ask you... he told me that you threatened him with the child if he didn't give his capital to Namjoon.... Is it true? Just tell me, I'll know if you're lying!" - You said. Jungkook raised his eyebrows. 

"What kind of nonsense is that? We may be a mafia, but we have a code. We don't touch children, and I don't even threaten like that." - Jungkook replies. You don't quite believe his words. What decent bandits... And you don't like the word "we" either. Jungkook doesn't consider himself one of them. 

"And the women? Do you threatened them? Because you, for example, have been threatened more than once that they will hurt me." - You say. Jungkook froze, which he might tells you that they are not disgusted by blackmail, or even act it.

"It's an effective tool, especially on men who have feelings." - Jungkook says. You're starting to get angry. 

"So your fucking code forbids you to touch children, but you can use a woman or a parent as leverage to get what you want, right?" - You ask ironically. Jungkook doesn't answer right away. You watch for a minute as Jungkook removes the used stick from the IQOS and back it into the box with the others. 

"It happens." - Jungkook answers simply, and you are annoying. 

"So it happen? Then maybe you shouldn't tell me that you have some kind of prejudice. If you don't neglect women and the elderly, why wouldn’t you threaten a children’s?" - You shout. Jungkook sees that you're angry, and he's trying to calm you down. 

"Baby, I would never threaten a child in my life. I'm not that kind of bastard, no matter what I do. This bastard has really messed with your head. I didn't torture him for eight hours, and we wanted to collect the debt because he pawned his securities that he lost in Namjoon's casino. And we took the company because that stupid idiot was gambling 24/7. He owed so much money that taking his little company was his only way out of it." - Jungkook explained to you. You listened to him with an angry expression on your face. It sounded very believable. 

"You guys are so holy that you can't even be called the mafia. Maybe you should call yourselves the Saints Clan?" - You suggested sarcastically. Jungkook looked at you skeptically. 

"I'm telling you the truth. It's up to you to believe me or not." - Jungkook assured you. You were annoyed that Jungkook was so protective of the people who do not neglect blackmail. He uses "we" as if he considers himself a part of them and wants to show them good to you. But the mafia is the mafia. Bandits are bandits. They are not good. 

"Jungkook, if I convince Doohoon to pay off the debt. Will you quit your job at Namjoon's?" - You asked directly. Jungkook exhaled nervously. How can he explain to you that this won't happen? You don't know Dohun well and you don't know Namjoon at all. 

"It's much more complicated than you think and imagine, baby." - Jungkook says, and you're not at all satisfied with this answer. 

"It's simple. It really is. Your wish. His word. Just tell me, do you want to go and live like a normal person?" - You ask. 

"I want to... but..." - Jungkook mumbles, and you're shocked at how uncertain he sounds. 

"But what, Jungkook?" - You ask, almost softly. Jungkook stares at you. 

"I mean, it won't work like that. My desire is not enough...." - He answers. You look at him and your fears are realized. You've thought about it before, but what if Jungkook is so used to this life that he can't go back to normal anymore? Hearing his tone and answers, you see the confirmation of your thoughts. 

You look at Jungkook and can barely contain your irritation. The uncertainty with which he speaks confuses you, but at the same time makes you more suspicious.

"Not enough? Your desire is not enough? Are you serious?" - Your voice has become quieter, but every word cuts like a blade.

"Baby, I can't just walk away. You don't understand how it works..." - He replied, exhaling deeply as if it were obvious.

"You explain it to me, Jungkook. Explain it to me, because I really don't understand how you can hold on so tightly to a life that only destroys you. You like it?" - Your eyes were full of undisguised anger.

Jungkook was silent for a moment, looking at your face carefully, as if he was looking for an answer to his unspoken questions. His jaw tensed, and his fingers clenched the pack of sticks in his pocket so that you could hear the crunch of the packaging.

"I can't just go like you'd like me to. This isn't a movie, Y/N. There's no way out without consequences." - His voice was calm, but there was something in it that made you cringe.

"So you're going to keep doing this? You're going to risk your life, let them use you, live in fear and lies? Is that what you want?" - You took a step towards him, your hands trembling slightly.

"I don’t want this…" - He whispered, looking away. "…But I’m already in too deep. There’s too much at stake. If I leave, it won’t just affect me."

You took another step, now you were standing very close.

"You say it won’t just affect you… Jungkook, what about me? Did you think your actions would affect me right now?" - Your words sounded desperate, and he could feel it.

"I know that…" - He finally answered, looking straight into your eyes. "But I’ll try to keep you away. I'll make sure it doesn’t ruin your life." - You laughed softly, but there was no joy in your laughter.

"Keep me away? Are you serious, Jungkook? You're standing here in front of me, talking about all this, and then you say you're trying to keep me away? You already tried that, and it didn't work." - You said. He clenched his jaw and said nothing. "Jungkook..." - Your shoulders slumped, your voice softer. "I want you to snap out of it. If not for yourself, then at least for me..." - His eyes met yours again, and you saw in them something like a struggle-a struggle between desire and fear, hope and reality.

But he knew in advance that it would not be the way you want it to be, or the way he wants it to be. It will be the way Namjoon wants it to be. Jungkook can't leave the mafia, even though he had hope. Maybe in many years, when Namjoon decides that the debt is paid, but Jungkook knows how Namjoon feels about him. He's not going to let him go that easily. 

Jungkook touches your face with his hand. You feel the warmth of his hand and this gesture calms you down. You hope he will accept your proposal. 

"Baby... I've been in this for years and I'm telling you the truth, Namjoon is not going to let me go anytime soon. All I want is for you to be by my side. I don't want you to worry about what I do or who I am. With you, I am real and that's the main thing. I want to be with you because I love you, so I'm asking you to bear with me for a while until I have the opportunity to leave the clan." - Jungkook says it softly, but you can't believe it as you listen.

You can hear him asking you to risk your life between the lines, but you think otherwise. You prioritize peace and a good life over fear and tension. You don't want to worry every night when Jungkook doesn't come back or pick up the phone and think that something happened to him. Or be afraid to walk down the street because some man will want to take revenge on Jungkook for his "activities". This is not for you. You take a step back, moving away from Jungkook and shake your head. Tears well up in your eyes and you make the most difficult decision of your life. 

"No, Jungkook. It won't be like this. I can't wait. I think we should put an end to our relationship and friendship." - You said. 

Jungkook rubbed his hands together nervously, as if trying to find the right words. His voice was calm but hoarse, as if he was struggling inside.

"I can't go back to normal, Y/N, not yet, and you have to understand. Even if I really want to. This is more than just a decision. This is my life now. It's hard for me to say this, but I became who I am because of circumstances. And now I can only change the way I live, but not change myself."  - You listened attentively, not interrupting, even though every word he said was painful.

"Jungkook..." - You began, but he interrupted.

"Just accept me as I am. If you really love me, you can do this." - He said, pressing at you. Your heart was pounding at the words.

"I love you." - You said quietly. "But I can't live in this world, not even for you. I am not like you. I'm scared, and I don't want to get used to what seems normal to you." - His eyes dimmed, but he didn't look away.

"It's obvious now that we can't compromise. We're just too different, our ways are too different. It's not going to work, Jungkook, no matter how much we want it to." - You added, gathering all your resolve. 

You turned to leave without waiting for his answer. He didn't say anything, just stared after you, clenching his fists. 

Doohoon reads your text messages and locks his phone. He's annoyed that you keep pushing him away. He does everything to please you, but you don't even respond to simple things. You respond harshly and coldly. He's annoyed as hell, but he knows he has to be patient. If he perseveres, he will get what he wants in the end. And that something he wants is you. 

It's only been three weeks since the incident with your kidnapping, which Doohoon set up and pulled off so perfectly. He paid a lot of money to the man who agreed to kidnap you. He knows that Jungkook knows the truth about the kidnapping and has probably dealt with Inho (the man's name), but he doesn't care what happened next. The main thing is that it worked, and now you think Jungkook is a real monster. 

Doohoon drives up to the store where you work and notices a Gelentwagen parked not far away with Jungkook's license plate. Did this loser come to see you? He really have the courage to come to you and apologize? 

Doohoon parks his car next to Jungkook's G-Wagon and gets out. He enters the store and looks for you. He doesn't see you or Jungkook. He moves toward the cash register. Behind the counter is a young guy and an older man, who looks like a chief. Both men greet him. Doohoon smiles easily, although he doesn't feel like it. But these are your acquaintances and he has to look good in their eyes. Doohoon bows slightly and returns the greeting. 

"Good morning." - He says in a friendly tone. "I'm a friend of Y/N. I'm here to pick her up. Is she still at work?" - He asks to see if you were telling the truth. The young man behind the counter immediately answers. 

"Oh, she left about five minutes ago. With her boyfriend, I think..." - Doohoon raises his eyebrows. A boyfriend? You couldn't have forgiven him so quickly. "At least that's what he introduced himself as... I think his name was Jungkook." - The cashier says. Doohoon feels a fierce surge of anger in his middle. This bastard thinks he can take you away from him. But Doohoon has done a good job of making you see his bad side. How can you want to be with Jungkook but not him after all that? 

"Okay, thanks. Have a good day." - Doohoon says and leaves the store, not noticing the two men staring at him. 

Doohoon decides to walk to your home. He thinks that either Jungkook will walk with you at your home or you could go to a cafe near your house. He thought that you've walked and made tired, you don't want to go far.

Doohoon is walking the same road you did not long ago. He is walking fast so that if he has the opportunity he can catch up with you. 

He stops when he sees you and Jungkook. You're standing in the middle of the sidewalk kissing. Doohoon almost goes crazy. He's torn to the middle. How could you do this? He was trying so hard to open your eyes to Jungkook's true nature. Aren't your feelings for this asshole so strong that you don't even care that he's a fucking mafia that tortures people and blackmails them with little children? Are you completely stupid or what? 

Doohoon wants to get up to you, but he's in no hurry. He's at a safe distance and the flow of people disguises him well. He watches as you stop kissing, say something, and then keep walking. Doohoon follows. When you come to your house, he dares to get close to hear what you are saying. 

When Doohoon hears your conversation, he is happy, and he scolds himself for worrying about you for nothing. You are still as correct as ever. Even Jungkook's declaration of love didn't convince you to stay with him. And now, Doohoon has a good chance of making you his. 

Half an afternoon passes and Doohoon looks at his watch. It reads 2:30 pm. You had arranged to meet Suyong at about four o'clock to meet at the campus and you have to leave soon to go to the university. 

You still haven't responded to Doohoon's offer to give you a ride, but he doesn't need your approval. He's going to drive you. 

Doohoon parks the car in front of your driveway and dials your number. There is a long series of rings, and almost at the last one you pick up the phone. 

"Hello?" - You say dryly. 

"Hi, candy. Are you ready?" - Doohoon asks you affectionately. 

"Ready for what?" - You ask your question. He can hear how upset you are in your voice.

"We agreed that I would take you to the university." - Doohoon replies. 

"We didn't agree." - You say sharply, and Doohoon feels irritated. There's that tone again, and he's starting to get tired of it. But he restrains himself. "I'll go on my own, I'm not ready yet." 

"Candy, I'm already waiting for you at the door. Don't be so stubborn. I'll wait as long as you need, you don't have to go alone if I'm going to get the same way." - Doohoon says, keeping his tone soft. You don't say anything for a while, and then he hears you exhale into the phone. 

"Okay. I'll be down in 15 minutes." - You say and hang up before Doohoon can even make a sound. 

You leave the house exactly 15 minutes later, looking blacker than a storm cloud. Doohoon notices the black bags under your eyes. You are also dressed in all black. You get into the car and barely greet him. You drive in silence for a while. Doohoon can't wait to talk to you. 

"Candy, how are you? Did you get any sleep?" - He asks you.

"Yes. Everything is fine." - You say quietly and open your phone, showing him that you're not in the mood for a conversation. 

Doohoon looks at you, he needs to know what you feel about Jungkook right now. 

"How did your meeting with Jungkook go? Did you talk?" - Doohoon asks, looking at the road. Hearing Jungkook's name come out of his mouth, you instantly turn your head toward him. Doohoon continues to stare at the road and doesn't look at you. 

"How...?" - You're about to ask if he was following again, but Doohoon interrupts. 

"I wasn't following you. I texted you that I was coming to get you. You'd have to be a fool not to recognize Jungkook's car and license plate." - Doohoon replies, stopping at a traffic light. When he stops, he looks at you and smiles. You look down at Doohoon. 

"I wrote you not to come. Why do you do whatever you want?" - You ask, irritated. Doohoon smiles even wider. 

"I wanted to give you a ride because you work so hard at night. You should just accept my help, you wouldn't have to work at all." - Doohoon says. How you so tired of everyone around you wanting to help you, to take care of you. It makes you sick to your stomach. 

"Listen, Doohoon. I don't need your help or your care. I don't want to communicate with you, I've told you that a thousand times." - You're raising your voice. You're so fucking stressed out all the time. 

"Really? Than who do you want to communicate with? Whose care do you want? Jungkook’s?" - Doohoon asks sarcastically. You choke on his words.

"I don't need any of you. You are dividing me like I am a deer carcass. I want you both out of my life." - You say angrily. You sit up straight and cross your arms. Your breathing is fast and ragged. Doohoon forces you to move. 

"I thought you'd fall for his words and his declaration of love. But, candy, you told him all right. You're two so different." - Doohoon says, and you look at him in horror. 

"You were listening to our conversation?" - You ask and your voice breaks. 

"I had to make sure he wouldn't hurt you...." - Doohoon replies. 

"You're really crazy? Why would he hurt me?" - You yell. 

"He's a gangster..." - Doohoon says. You think you is going to explode with anger. 

"It doesn't matter who he is. He loves me, he won't ever hurt me." - You say it like you're spraying poison. 

"Candy, he's the reason you were kidnapped. Don't you realize that his feelings are only harmful to you?" - Doohoon tries to tell you. 

"Shut your mouth!" - You shout. "I don't need your advice. I don't need you either. Get off me. Let me off now." - You grab the doorknob to open the door, but unfortunately, Doohoon has locked it. 

"Calm down Y/N. Okay, I'm not going to say anything else to you. Just calm down." - Doohoon puts his hand on your hip to make you pay attention to him, turning away from the door. You immediately knock his hand away. 

"Don't touch me!" - You scream. Doohoon's nerves are fraying. He parks not far from the sidewalk and approaches you. Your eyes look up at him in fright. 

"Y/N, listen to me carefully. I have tolerated your harsh words, your stubbornness, because I respect you and care about you. But if you think that you can talk to me as if I were some random stranger, then you are very much mistaken. I will not allow you to speak to me in that tone." - His voice is sharp, but he tries to remain calm

"What are you going to do, Doohoon? Are you going to follow me again, eavesdrop or spy on me? Do you think I owe you anything? You just want to control me!" - You say with a challenge. 

"Control? No, candy, I just want to protect you. But if you don't stop treating me like I'm the enemy, I might change my approach. You know I can be kind, but I can also be tough. Is that what you want?" - Doohoon ask you. His smile is dry, but his eyes are sharp. 

"What are you going to do, Doohoon? Are you going to threaten me? Fine, go ahead, show your real face!" - You say sarcastically. Doohoon leans closer, his voice low and cold. You're disgusted by his closeness, even though he smells nice. 

"Careful, Y/N. You won't like my 'real face'. I've always been good to you, even when you didn't deserve it. But if you keep provoking me, I might show you what it looks like when I lose my patience." - He returns to his seat behind the wheel, takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "But I don't want that. I want you to understand that I am not your enemy. I just want you to make the right choice. Think about your behavior, think about who really cares about you. And decide who is more important to you." - He unlocks the door. "And now you can go. But remember what I said. You have time to think about it." 

You're angry and a little confused, but you still have your pride. You open the door and say on the way out. 

"Don't think you can tell me what to do. Go to hell. I never want to see you again." - You get out of the car, slamming the door loudly, but deep inside you feel disturbed by his words and behavior. 

Doohoon starts the car and nervously grips the steering wheel. Your stubbornness is really getting to him. 

"Let's see how long you can stay stubborn, candy." - He mutters under his breath. Why don't you want to be his voluntarily? He's trying so hard for you. Doohoon is going crazy. He doesn't want to take any drastic measures yet, but if you keep acting like this, he'll be forced to. Because you'll be his anyway. 

↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱

[gatawoman]

What Cat?

Pairing: Jason Todd x Latina!Reader!Fem!Reader x Red Hood

Quick Summary: You are Selina Kyle’s adopted daughter, dating Jason Todd. You’re not adopted legally, but she secretly took you in as a child. You avoid the chaotic life your mom and boyfriend live, but a fluffy little creature has other plans.

A/N: The reader uses some Caribbean Spanish slang:

• Micho (means kitty)

• Bodega (corner store/deli)

• Coño (fuck)

☪︎･ﾟ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆･ﾟ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･❂☪︎･ﾟ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･⋆

For as long as you can remember, ever since you were “adopted” by Selina, she has tried to keep you away from the vigilante, anti-hero, and villain lifestyle. It wasn’t just her decision—it was mutual. You wanted to live a “normal life,” as normal as Gotham could get. The one thing that connects you both is your love for cats, which leads you to your current predicament: chasing an injured, homeless black cat through Gotham’s docks at 1 a.m.

“Micho, Micho, come here, cutie,” you coo in the sweetest voice you can manage.

“C’mon, gatita, I have food for you.”

With a deep sigh, you place a can of sardines on the cold, concrete, grime-stained ground. What were you even thinking? It’s the middle of winter, and you’ve been chasing this cat for 30 minutes. You have no idea where you are. All you know is that you’re in the docks—in Gotham—at 1 a.m.—in the freezing cold. And as the chill seeps into your bones, all you can think is, If I’m cold, the cat has to be colder. So, you do what anyone with a heart would do. You keep chasing it.

“I’m gonna leave this precious new can of sardines here, okay?” you call out, a teasing edge to your tone. “Hopefully, no one takes i—”

Your sentence is cut short by a buzz from your phone.

Reaching into your coat pocket, you pull out the glowing device, its brightness stinging your eyes, now accustomed to the dark. The caller ID reads Cat Mom.

“Hello?” you answer, attempting your best “I’m-totally-asleep” voice.

“Explain to me why you’re near the Gotham docks at 1 a.m., Miss,” Selina’s sharp, sassy voice cuts through the line.

You cringe, instantly feeling like the little girl who once got caught stealing candy from the corner bodega. Even though you’re 23 now, she still has that effect on you.

“What are you talking about? I’m in bed right now,” you lie weakly.

“WE share locations, remember?” she snaps.

Caught red-handed.

“I have a logical reason,” you admit. “A cat was cold and alone, and she looked so skinny. I had to help her.”

You know you’ve got her there—she is Catwoman, after all.

“Listen, I know you want to help, love,” she says, her tone softening. “But it’s freezing, and you’re in a dangerous area. Do you even know where you are?”

Her concern makes you uneasy. Selina doesn’t usually sound this worried unless something is serious. Taking the hint, you decide to head home.

“You’re right. I’m going ba—”

A loud bang echoes from one of the nearby shipping containers, cutting you off.

“Hello? Y/N? Are you okay? What was that? You need to get out of there!” Selina’s voice rises in urgency.

Before you can respond, you feel a sharp object press against your back. Of course, this has to happen now, when you were just trying to do a good deed.

“Hang up the phone, doll,” a gruff, menacing voice orders.

Doing what anyone in your position would, you elbow the man in the stomach. Your phone clatters to the ground as Selina’s voice fades beneath the sound of the struggle.

“Bitch,” the man snarls venomously.

He lunges at you, slamming you against a shipping container. The impact makes your head spin, but you swing your fist, landing a punch to his face. As he stumbles, you seize the chance to run—until he yanks you back by your hair.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, doll,” he growls, his voice dripping with malice.

Just as you muster the strength to keep fighting, a heavy thud echoes behind him. A dark figure looms.

“Now, you should know who guards this place by now,” a familiar voice growls.

You freeze, torn between relief and fear. As crazy as it sounds you now don’t know who to be more scared of, the guy or the person you know very well who’s voice that belongs to. And you knew you were in for a long night.

Jason grabs the man by the neck and slams him to the ground with brutal force.

“Scum like you shouldn’t even be alive,” Jason snarls, his fists pounding into the man.

“Red, that’s enough!” you plead. “Come on, he’s not responding.”

When he doesn’t stop, you reach out, resting your hand on his shoulder. He finally halts.

Without a word, Jason walks away, which you took as a cue you should follow. So you walk for like 3 minutes without a word being said. And you had enough of the silence, you have already been walking the whole night.

“Jay, I’m sorry, okay? I saw a little cat, and it was cold and—”

“Injured, yeah, I know. Selina called me. If she hadn’t, who knows what could’ve happened, do you even know you’re in The Hills Y/N?” he snaps, cutting you off.

You glance around, realization dawning. The fog, the docks, the 30 minutes of chasing the cat—you’re in The Hills, one of the most dangerous areas in Gotham. No wonder Selina was worried and why Jason is mad at you right now. Ever since you and Jason started dating, he’s warned you about the areas in Gotham that are red zones for crime—places he didn’t want you near, especially with a war between crime lords raging on. Things weren’t exactly stable, and all he wanted was to keep you safe. He’d always said that losing you would be unbearable—not just because it’s his job to protect, but because he can’t imagine a life without you. Those are words he can’t bring himself to say right now, though; there’s already too much hanging in the air.

“I’m sorry, Jay. I wasn’t thinking I truly didn’t know I was in The Hills ,” you say, guilt weighing on you. You were tired and now just wanted to go home to your shared bed.

Jason sighs, his anger softening as he sensed the feeling of you being overwhelmed with the events of tonight. He wraps his arms around you, and you melt into his embrace and let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Let’s just go home. I just want you safe.”

You look around to scope the scenery and make sure no one is around. You make eye contact with Jason and he already knows what you are asking for as he simply does a small nod in response. Your hands find their way to his mask where you take it off and now see his face with the Domino mask only hiding off the top. And you lean in to give him a quick little kiss. As you pull back from the peck he leans in again wanting more. And who are you to reject this beautiful man?

“Meow.”

You pull away, startled.

“Oh my God, Micho! I knew you’d come back!” you exclaim, scooping up the fluffy black cat.

Jason smirks. “So, you weren’t delusional after all.”

Despite the events of the night , you head home with the love of your life and a new addition to your humble family. As you hop into the back of Jason’s bike with your cat in your bag you realize something.

“Coño, I forgot my phone, Jay.”

☪︎･ﾟ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･⋆ ･ﾟ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･❂☪︎･ﾟ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･⋆ ･ﾟ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･❂☪︎･ﾟ･ﾟ·:

A/N: Hi cuties! As always, if you have any requests, let me know—I’ll gladly write them. Hope you enjoyed!

[genderqueerdykes]

your blog has been a breath of fresh fucking air. i’m bi and get read as a cis woman (i’m somewhere in the realm of nonbinary) and have had some truly hellish experiences in “mainstream” queer spaces. im either a straight girl who wants attention, a lesbian in denial, or a cis girl who wants attention. it genuinely would be easier to exist as a cishet woman at this point because of how i’m treated *by other queer people*.

your blog however has seriously been the first place where i’ve seen that shitty behavior denounced. its a nice reminder that i don’t owe anyone an explainer on my queerness.

i'm so sorry you've been through this. see, this is such gross behavior. we really need to stop profiling each other. we can't keep doing this. especially when it comes to treating nonbinary people like they're women. especially when it comes to telling bisexual people we're confused or straight people looking for attention. i don't even know where people come up with this stuff. like seriously

i have no clue where people get the idea that telling someone ELSE how THEY identify is somehow right. like where do people come up with "feminine nonbinary people are just girls who wanna be special." how the hell does that occur to a person? misogyny, but still, how does anyone just jump to that conclusion. "bi people are just quirky straight people who want attention." again how the everloving hell does this thought occur to anyone?

if they were a cishet person who wanted attention, they'd get it from other cishet people, not queer people. being queer is hard. it leads to you getting treated like shit. why would a cishet person subject themselves to that just for the sake of attention from people they likely don't even like to begin with? like seriously think about this one. how does that make any goddamn sense. on what planet is that something droves of people do.

treating people like this hurts so many different groups of people it's unreal. we have to deplatform the bullies. i'm not sure why people come into this community to tell OTHER PEOPLE how they identify, but they're not in this for the right reasons. you do not have to listen to anyone who tells YOU who YOU are. they have no idea. they're not you. they can only speak about their own lived experience. nobody has the right to treat you like that. you belong

[missbliss12]

Just letting you know, there's an anon going around messaging people that you ship a child with their caretaker and urging them to reconsider interacting with your posts

Thank you to the anon who messaged me about this, and thank you to the anon who is unhappily engaging with my work! As a fine artist, comic artist, and person who likes to think about culture, stories, and history, I’ve been wanting to write about the Dynamic Duo for a while. This is a good opportunity for getting those various drafts together. And for anyone who’s curious about DC comic dynamics and likes, like me, to play with comics… I hope this can be an interesting little read into the various ways of reading Batman and Robin, and why one might choose to engage in a queer reading of “Brudick.”

Bruce and Dick: Father and Son, Brothers in Arms, Partners Fighting Crime

First, Bruce and Dick can certainly be read as “Father and Son.” There are several Dynamic Duo stories from various decades that do this, some of which I quite enjoy.  

Like in Batman Vol. 1, No. 20 (1944), where Bruce has to fight Dick’s corrupt blood relations to retain guardianship of his almost son/best friend.

And in writer Tom Taylor, artist Bruno Redondo, colorist Adriano Lucas, and co.’s Nightwing comics, including Nightwing Vol. 4, No. 100 (2023).

But “Father and Son” isn’t their only definitive relationship.  

Dick wasn’t adopted by Bruce at first for logistical reasons inside and outside of text (the difficulties of single men adopting kids during the 40s, when Batman and Robin was first published, for example.) There are comics that describe them as brothers for example, including when Dick first leaves to attend university as a young man and when he dons the Batman cowl after Bruce “dies.”

Batman & Robin Vol. 1, No. 7 (2009) by Grant Morrison, Cameron Stewart, and co.

Batman Vol. 1, No. 217 (1969), by Irv Novick, Dick Giordano, and Frank Robbins.

(Said vow of manliness was then followed up by Dick crying like a heartbroken heroine of a 1960s romance comic.)

Young Romance No. 125 (1963)

Dick and Bruce have even, on significant occasions, denied being father and son (though one could choose to read that as the first step of a cautious, tsundere journey towards patrilineal bonds)

Batman Vol. 1, No. 439 (1989), by Marv Wolfman, Pat Broderick, Adrienne Roy, and co.

The bond that Bruce asserts with Dick in this compelling story is based not on him replacing Dick’s parents, but on bonding with him as a similarly traumatized and wounded child.

This resonates with the words of David Mazzuchelli, fantastic mainstream and indie comic artist behind Batman: Year One. In the “Afterwords” section of Year One, Mazzuchelli describes the pair as being a pair of innocent, un-sexed twelve-year-old boys (Bruce mentally) who connect as best friends pretending to be heroes. 

(Take a look at Austin Kleon’s blog for the full post where this comes from – all photo credits to him)

This reading of the Dynamic Duo who are mainly partners, fighting against the crime that destroyed their parents, vibes with Darwyn Cooke’s beautifully rendered DC: The New Frontier (2004).

As Batman explains, they are “two lost souls who found each other”... romantic, no?

2. Bruce and Dick: Romantic Partners

With all the various interpretations of Bruce and Dick over the decades, from the perspectives of various writers and artists, there is also room for a romantic reading. Not just the comic panels taken out of context and spoofed on the internet. From this Reddit post… 

…To “A Brief History of Dick: Unpacking the gay subtext of Robin, the Boy Wonder”, a great summary by Glen Weldon, author of The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture. The comics themselves are ripe for various – *eh-hem* – creative readings and misinterpretations.  

Canon Jokes about Batman and Robin’s Relationship

But Bruce and Dick’s ambiguous relationship is also referenced in DC’s canon comics, like World's Finest Year 6: The Imp-Possible Dream (1999) by Karl Kesel, Peter Doherty, and Robert Campanella.

By aligning Dick with Lois Lane, damsel in distress, DC’s officially published comics pokes at the stability of a purely platonic father and son relationship between the Dynamic Duo.

Then there are the much more disturbing jokes from the Joker in Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth (1989) by Grant Morrison and Dave McKean. 

Joker makes plenty of insinuations about Batman’s mental wellness and his attraction to a Robin. Queerness as pathological isn’t new to Batman – it’s embodied in the Joker, a lipstick and acrylic-wearing man obsessed with another man. Joker not only evokes drag queens; in Batman: The Dark Prince Charming (2017-2018) by Enrico Marini, he even dresses as one.

It’s easy to forget the Joker’s queerness with Heath Ledger’s highly popular elemental Joker, Joaquin Phoenix’s sad boy follow-up, and the heterosexual, Harley Quinn-touting Joker of the Batman animations. But I think Joker has lasted – and surpassed Robin in popularity – because Robin was a good boy who was scandalously attached to gay jokes while Joker was a bad guy, who one, historically, could easily accept as being evil.

And then Robin became the Joker.

Like Sin City, Frank Miller’s infamous Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again is a testosterone and titty fueled extravaganza. And it makes Dick a Joker mutant targeting Bruce’s new sidekick, former female Robin, current lovely Catgirl, Carrie Kelly. A side-by-side comparison shows who is more desirable and healthy amongst them.

Dick envies Carrie, going so far as plotting to steal her body by skinning her alive. 

It’s not a good look on Dick. It is also sad, twisted, and one of the most fascinating ways Frank Miller could have acknowledged Dick’s mixed cultural legacy within DC published comic (even one set in an alternate universe). Here is a panel of Dick declaring his wicked love, driving Bruce to (lover’s) suicide.  

So there is room for laughable and sick interpretations of romantic Brudick. Now let’s take a look at a healthier option for these not-quite lovers, enemies, partners, and family members.

3. Batman’s (and Robin’s) Queer Liberation: Fredric Wertham, Feminism, and Kevin Conroy

I’m personally captivated by a romantic reading of Bruce and Dick. Stories revolve around conflict and that poses A LOT OF PROBLEMS. It also has led to plentiful interesting fanart and fanfiction that tries to make sense of decades of stories with a cohesive narrative. While there’s plenty of porn (which, no anti is entitled to shame others about), it also involves strangely compelling coming-of-age stories that few other slash pairings can inspire.  

Also, Bruce and Dick’s queer potential is really important for Western comics history – it’s part of what Fredric Wertham M.D. took comics to task for in the 1950s, leading to a (flawed) study, a Senate Hearing, censorship and comic codes, as well as the creation of family friendly female characters! Wertham clearly read the comics as queer – and that still holds currency for other LGBTQIA comics fans who see themselves in Batman and Robin. 

Excerpts from pg. 190 of Fredric Wertham’s Seduction of the Innocent (1954):

Wertham also accuses Wonder Woman and her friends of loving women to the detriment of men on page 193:

DC superhero media has a history of deviant queerness – to say no is to deny an important facet of comics history. 

Mining said queerness can give room for female characters to be more than objects of men’s violence/sexual objectification. One of my favorite Batgirl comics gets Batgirl away from Dick Grayson, putting her on her own journey of friendship, love, and self-fulfillment in the capable hands of Babs Tarr.

From Batgirl, Vol. 4, No. 40 (2015):

Other female characters who have flourished when given the ability to be more than love interests include Batgirl’s bestie, Supergirl, in Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow (2021-2022) by Tom King, Bilquis Everly, and co.

Superhero stories are so big, full of questions about what makes a person moral and how/whether they can ever truly belong. Do stories that play with Bruce and Dick as romantic connect to those ideas? They certainly do.

And, as we see from the autobiographical comic of Kevin Conroy, iconic voice of various animated Bat-men, these questions and deviations can enrich our superhero stories too. Excerpts below from “Finding Batman” by Kevin Conroy, J. Bone, and Aditya Bidikar, published in DC Pride 2022.

The Batman and Robin stories are so strange, plentiful, and varied – there’s room for various interpretations, none of them “wrong.” 

If the anon who’s messaging other social media users to stop looking at my art wants to tackle issues like child exploitation, or if they want to support girls and women who are in danger of incest or rape, they can donate and spread awareness of organizations like Save The Children, Planned Parenthood, and others using ProPublica’s Nonprofit Explorer.

And for wholesome DC comic recs with gals of color, I recommend DC comics like Diana and Nubia: Princesses of the Amazon (2022) by Shannon Hale, Dean Hale, and Victoria Ying and Girl Taking Over: A Lois Lane Story (2023) by Sarah Kuhn and Arielle Jovellanos. My twin collaborator and I are also working on stories that tackle superheroines and intersectional feminism – stories which criss-cross with our platonic and romantic Brudick stories!  

[gutsondisplay]

I think most TransHarmful people don't get "too" violent or put more pressure actually HAS a reason

If you weren't there back then, DIRECTLY after TransHarm was coined, there was a huge discourse around if it should be accepted or not, and a lot of people saw it as really bad (insert "this is why antis hate us!" Etc here)

Those who were transharmful had to chip and trim themselves so they "weren't ACTUALLY harmful!!", a large percent even going back at each other for being any modicum of appearing bad

It was seen as safe to be edgy, but never bad. and while maybe ironic to a lot of you who aren't specifically TransHarmful, but we feared being pushed out of our own community! And we really were back then!

Transharmfuls had to figure out how to not be seen as evil despite wanting to be like that, most had to water down themselves so they could be accepted, becoming the most passive and explainable identity we used to tell people who hated us

But no one ever let us know it was okay to be mean again, and it kinda seemed like when we *were* mean, it would hurt us in return

Cause when conabuse was made into a thing, people went out of their way AGAIN to tell TransHarmful people that they didn't belong! And that they were horrible in ways we didn't want to be seen as!

Cause idk if you know this, but there's a trans part of TransHarmful! Most of us didn't exactly have experience hurting others! Not in these kinds of ways!

And I think it's really REALLY fucking understated how much harm (ikik teehee) discourse around conabuse did to transharm people on both sides

Those who thought they had a connection they could have and use to get euphoria, now one side was really questioning if it was okay, was it even consent? Rethinking if someone's yes to you was actually a yes

If you have not had to second guess someone being honest with you about consent or boundaries before, you have no idea how bad that spiral can be

You could possibly lose all trust in that person being truthful about you being able to do whatever you agreed on, maybe even anyone to be truthful about those things, and if you go down enough you could possibly lose that for a fucking while to forever

And let's not forget the transharmed people here either!

Having people constantly going against you and saying your consent didn't matter because "that's not something you can consent to!" Is fucking horrible! People who talk like their "helping" you are taking away your consent more than someone you told was okay to do that to you

Parts get to you that it doesn't really matter what you actually say to them, maybe a lot of people, why didn't it matter what you said? Because it was something they wouldn't personally like?

If falls victim to the tactic used against all those who use transIDs that have perceived benefit ironically enough

People saying things like "you don't have to do this!", "you don't need to go through this to feel like you have enough pain to be a victim!", "I'll get you out of that!", "someone told you something wrong"

Etc etc. all just saying you don't get a choice because you want something "bad"

It'd be wonderful if it didn't get in the way

And now

Both sides of transharm don't exactly know how to exist, maybe they don't know this happened, maybe they don't know they can do more

But we should help them do what they want to do if they want help

I know there's some transharmfuls who really wanna go all out, go for it babe <3

[acupofinkedblood]

Hello!! I saw you do a general request and I was wondering if I could put mine here? No pressure ofc! You can do this when you would like to! since I see you already have requests to work on! But may I ask how would the Phighters react to a reader who hates physical touch with anyone else except them? like the reader cuddles up to them in private and it’s kinda a shocker!

I mean sure! I did tell my customers that I do take general ask for the phighters, so I’ll oblige to my words as the teamaker ( ◠‿◠ ) Though it won’t be as detailed as my actual request. And as usual, Biograft excluded

Sword: Sword is pretty big on physical touch if not with basically everyone he deems to be ‘not so bad’ enough. He’s like a literal golden retriever that asked to be petted almost every single time from anyone in sight. So he was definitely surprised when seeing how much of the fuss you were making when others touch you a little. But then you only let him hold you, which does make Sword a bit curious. Yet he respects your wishes, even let others know about your reference loud and clear

Skateboard: He does notice that quirk of yours, and it amuses him. The way your face grimaces then shoo people away before gets back to his side. But at least it makes him feel privileged when knowing that you’re only that clingy when around him. Not to the point like an accessory, but he’s proud that you’re his official side piece at this point. Of course, he will be more than glad to fish you out of any situation you dislike

Katana: Amused is an understatement. Katana doesn’t understand why you only demand physical affection from him, yet he doesn’t question further since he knows that you might have your personal reasons for this particular behavior. He expects you to be like him, reserved and all. But then this? What a shocker. He definitely needs a moment to get used to this

Banhammer: Someone please teach this guy on emotional intelligence properly because it can be so much of a nuisance when dealing with him sometimes. He is so oblivious to the obvious change in your demeanor to the point you have to question on whether or not is he really blinded. He only thinks that it’s just how you are without doting too much about it

Rocket: You remind him of who he used to be when still living his days out on the street. He was also reluctant to physical touch with almost everyone, but not until he found someone he could trust with. Rocket understands your position, and it does amuse him a certain amount when seeing you so touch starved behind closed door like that. You do remind him of his younger self, carving for affection yet only from those you can trust completely in

Slingshot: He understands people’s boundaries, so he doesn’t push you when knowing that you’re not that into physical contact. However when you just cling onto him out of nowhere, Slingshot is pretty much dumbfounded by the sudden change in attitude. He might ask you questions to get that reassurance that you’re okay with this, that if you don’t want to then that’s fine. But then you already know the drill: This man is just stuck with you being a cuddle bug in private. Not that he minds much, he likes this anyway

Hyperlaser: To be honest, you remind this man of a cat. Maybe not Princess, but just a cat in general at how you have an attitude with strangers who try to approach you physically. At this point, giving you a pair of ears and a set of claws will be enough to make you an actual cat. Hyperlaser doesn’t mind you being clingy to him after going back home, as Princess does that a lots too. The only difference is that now he has to pay attention so he can cuddle the both of you at the same time, what a surprise

Shuriken: Doesn’t notice at first, but is still pretty accepting of the situation when you explain to him. Shuriken goes along with your wish, if you don’t like to be touched, that’s cool. If you suddenly feel comfortable enough to want him closer physically? That’s great to hear then! Sometimes he just genuinely forgets that you dislikes physical touch with everyone but him, hence the surprise when he sees you react certain ways to others. But overall, he is still fine with it

Scythe: Scythe will take that as a privilege of having you completely. She doesn’t care about whether or not you are touchy with others because at the end of the days, she knows that you’re hers. You do have quite the understanding of your manners after all. But it does bring a smirk onto her face when she realizes just how you dislike being touched but then completely glued to her side when there are only the two of you. It gives her this satisfaction that she can’t really put into words

Medkit: Like Katana, Medkit expects you to be anything but clingy. Sometimes he might act like he is bothered by it, but then he can’t really push you away from times to times. Medkit isn’t a big fan of physical touch, but something small like holding hand or a slight hug at first will be a good warm up to him before anything else. He will compare you to a cat at some point. Just don’t expect him to give you back the physical affection you want all of the time, he needs some personal space too

Boombox: Similar to Slingshot, Boombox respects your reference and tries his best to make things comfortable for you even when he’s pretty much a clingy guy himself. So when he witnesses the cuddly attitude of yours out of the blue, he is rather surprised yet recovering almost immediately and responds back to your hug with his own. He’s glad that he makes you feel safe enough to step out of your personal safe zone

Vinestaff: She is like this combination of both Shuriken and Slingshot in this aspect. She does respect your boundaries since the beginning of your relationship with each others, but when you get physical intimacy with her out of nowhere, she won’t make a fuss over it. She understands that maybe that’s just how you are, and she gladly accepts that little thing about you

Subspace: This bastard will make it a point to brag about like how much of a little shit he is. Don’t be surprised, you know that this is what might happen if you give Subspace that privilege of being physically intimate with knowing that you only do that to him. His ego will be shot up into the stars. Although he does get annoyed when you’re sticking to his hip all of the time when you two are alone, he doesn’t shoo you that often aside from when he is busy

Coil: Probably point that out almost immediately with no filter. This guy is just that, pardon him. He will ask you about why you’re so clingy to him in a moment and then turn around to glare at others almost immediately afterwards. He’s just curious about that specific thing about you, not that he is annoyed or anything. Not at all. He’s just curious about it. Coil doesn’t mind, but sometimes he might be an ass and not giving you the physical affection that you want until you have enough of the teasing

That’s all I have to say, I hope that this will satisfy you (⌒▽⌒)

[zairas-realm-gateway]

I am so, so sorry for hijacking your amazing comic with an analysis post but this comic has me fucking screeching! Fuckin' shaking!

Reading this comic made my insides ache and twist in indescribable ways. It makes my very soul scream out with need for others to understand the very delicate building blocks that make up Jayce Giopara. Before finding you, I have not seen another person that so openly picks up on the fragile pieces that Jayce is actually made up of under the inflated ego.

Word Count (below cut): 1.4k

I don't even know how to put into words all the feelings roiling up inside me. Panel 5 makes me want to scream. The insinuations and accusations facing Jayce so expertly expose little, subtle aspects of Jayce's character that are devastating flaws in the metaphorical armor that keeps Jayce safe and sane.

Down under the arrogance and self-importance is a bright and eager soul that's so, so naive (his voicelines are optimistic in a way that speaks of naivety to me) and a pushover. Jayce is easy to sway and throw off kilter. I see it two major places in the canon lore. Once is when Jayce doesn't defend Viktor when Viktor accuses Professor Stanwick (rightfully) of stealing credit for Blitzcrank's creation. It does not say in Viktor's lore that Jayce verbally denies Viktor's claims or call him a liar. It says that Jayce did not speak up at all, not even to ask for evidence. This tells me Jayce could not bring himself to go against his professor, a man of importance and high status above them both.

Which brings me to a point that I really, really need to remind people: before becoming the Defender, social position wise, the only thing Jayce has over Viktor is that he's from Piltover. Fans use "Giopara" as Jayce's last name but that's not his last name. He has no last name that we know of. He has no family, no money. Pre-Defender Jayce is just a pretty young man with high intelligence that gets passed around the Piltover clans like an unwanted puppy.

If I remember correctly, it doesn't explain why Jayce never sticks up for Viktor. It could be that he's scared if he speaks up, they'll kick him out of the academy. Or it could be that because Jayce naively believes in his own moral code so greatly that he actually believes everyone else lives by it too. Therefore he can't even conceive of a professor stealing from his student. Which would mean Viktor was lying but Viktor is Jayce's partner so he obviously wouldn't want to believe his partner is a liar. This leaves Jayce tied in a knot about what to do resulting in him just not saying anything, causing his first unintentional betrayal towards Viktor.

Lore canon evidence of Jayce being a pushover is the short story with Amaranthine. As we all know, Jayce thinks very highly of himself. He thinks he's too good to give his attention to anyone, even a little girl whose doll he could literally fix in like a minute. He denies helping her and is going to kick her out before they're attacked. After the battle, Amaranthine bruises his ego with a comment. His ego is his armor in life. And the tiny, well-placed attack on it is enough to make Jayce cave. He fixes the doll.

This all tells me that with a well-placed phrase, it would be easy to bring Jayce to heel. It tells me that Jayce is very weak-willed and easy to manipulate if you can get past his ego. Something you can also see in the lore when he goes to get his crystal back from Viktor. He's not there on pretense of glory. He's not even the Defender yet. He just wants his fuckin' research back. It's afterwards that he's toted as the Defender of Tomorrow. A choice, title, and position that Piltover made for him. Not something he made for himself. A title that wiggled into his brain and became his very identity. He was just a scientist until the Defender devoured him and pulled his every thought, every choice to fulfilling that position. Submitting so easily to the choice of Piltover and becoming their puppet, their doll.

In all of Jayce's lore, the only area where he is never a pushover is his moral and ethics code. It's so strong, so foundational to his very being that can't be worn down. Which is what causes the conflict with Viktor. Jayce will do just about anything to secure that people are safe, happy, and have all their human rights intact. Even if it harms himself by destroying what miniscule relationships he has.

But, for someone that thinks so highly of himself, he doesn't seem to put himself in the same category as those people he's fighting for. This finally leads us into the analysis of the comic properly.

As we all know, to Jayce and Viktor, science is the most important thing in the universe. They have different reasons for using it but still, science is their very life's blood. To Jayce, the science used to help and provide for people must take precedence above all else. Including himself. Because he's not a people, not really. People aren't passed from clan to clan like a bought animal.

So, if people need science and inventions to go about their happy lives then isn't it Jayce's duty to make sure people have those inventions? Morally, it'd be wrong to deny them things that would make their lives better. As one of the smartest people in Piltover, isn't it Jayce's sworn duty to do whatever he can to provide those inventions since no one else is as good as him? But science is expensive, inventions cost money. Money that neither Jayce nor Viktor have. But Jayce is the best so for sure he can get what they need.

Now, wouldn't it be just so very easy for a silver tongue to whisper into the ear of an egotistical young man and explain how surly the very best currency is the perfect young man himself? After all, he has so much to offer. He's smart, he's strong, and skilled, and so very, very handsome after all.

Surely there's many things such a perfect young man has to offer those in power. Blueprints and plans, patent promises, a bright smile, some arm candy… a warm body perhaps. The crystal bright pieces of Jayce's very soul.

Would it really be hard to convince such a naive, optimistic young man that he has everything he needs to get the resources he and his partner require? Oh, all the things he could create with those resources!

Would it be difficulty for wealthy, well-spoken nobles and househeads to convince the young man to give more and more of himself?

And maybe it's nice to be wanted. No one wants Jayce, not really. The clans that hold his apprenticeship want his brilliance but they do not want him. They don't speak with him or work with him, not really. No one likes him because he's arrogant and rude and tactless. And fine, that's just fine by him. He doesn't need them either! He works just fine on his own or with Viktor.

And his resource providers want him. So, that's enough, right? What's wrong with giving them more than maybe he's strictly comfortable with. But who cares, it's for a good cause!

Surely the people, the lovely citizens of Piltover, need all those amazing inventions rattling around in brilliant Jayce's head to make their lives better. As the smartest person there, of course it's his duty to provide what others can't. What's a little discomfort, a little loss of self, when he could be helping so very many people?! Helping people can't be a bad thing ever, right?

And then there's Viktor. The one person in Jayce's life that gets to see all of Jayce through hours in their shared lab. They're partners, rivals, the closest thing either of them has had to a friend in their whole lives.

Viktor is from Zaun. He sees the world in a light that the optimistic people of Piltover do not. He knows that the world works on greed. But he also knows that some costs are too steep, even for progress. He can see the bright and shiny pieces of his partner being chipped away as the houses of Piltover pull their marionette's strings.

Under Viktor's cold and standoffish nature is a warm heart. A kindness and compassion that he'll never be able to curb. Viktor loves people. People should be allowed to live, to be happy and healthy.

Jayce is a people. Viktor knows this, why does no one else?!

People matter above all else. Above morals, above ethics… above science even, it would seem.

Viktor's heart is too big. He does not like to see suffering and death. So, how can he watch suffering and death move in tandem with him each day in their lab? How can he not raise his voice when he spends his days watching a brilliant and arrogant soul turn into an insufferable doll before his very eyes?

What can be said, be done, when that doll stands so tall on self-importance that it cannot see that it is only a puppet on a frayed string?

[alrightbuckaroo]

when life gives you lemons

With ao3 down, it seems like the perfect time to transfer more stories from my 100 Ways to Say I Love You series over here! Here's one from early 2023. Credit to this user for the divider and I hope you enjoy <3

“TK?” Jonah’s voice is quiet and TK can hear his confusion clear through the question. “Am I doing something wrong?”

He looks up at TK; his eyebrows knitted together, and his lower lip is jutted out. His green eyes showing slight defeat. TK doesn’t know how to do it; but he knows he wants that look to go away. “Of course not, buddy. We just need to be patient; someone will walk by, eventually.”

TK didn’t say it out loud; but he wasn’t too sure how true that would be with it being in the high 80s on a Thursday afternoon in the suburbs of Austin.

Jonah doesn’t seem too convinced by TK’s false optimism so TK tries his next best trick; distraction.

“Why don’t you inside, grab some more markers, huh?” TK suggests. “We can make some more signs, use some of that glitter glue we got yesterday.”

Jonah dejectedly agrees before hoping off of his chair and walking through the opened garage and into their house.

TK occupies his time alone by spinning the mixing spoon in the pitcher of strawberry fizzy lemonade and rearranging the red plastic cups. He feels his phone start to vibrate agains the table and hurries to grab it, at risk of the newly arranged cups becoming askew.

“Hey,” TK answers, not bothering to see who it is.

“Hey babe,” Carlos’ voice is cutting through the line and TK smiles to himself. He sounds exhausted but TK loves the sound just the same. “I’m heading home, did you want me to pick up anything for dinner?”

TK looks at the pitcher of lemonade again before answering. “Do you think we already have everything for chicken Alfredo?”

Carlos is quiet a moment, visualizing what they already have in the kitchen. “I think so, but, I’ll probably pick up some more Parmesan cheese anyways. We just had it a couple of nights ago, is it that high in demand again already?”

TK shrugs even though he knows Carlos can't see him. “It’s Jonah’s favorite and I think he just needs a little bit of a pick me up.”

“What’s going on?” TK can hear Carlos getting into this car, the sound of his voice becoming more insulated.

“We’re selling lemonade.” TK mixes the pitcher again as he sees some of the flavoring start to settle at the bottom. “Well, we’re trying to.”

“TK, I already told you we can afford the science camp we’re sending Jonah to this week.” Carlos jokes.

TK fights a laugh before he replies. “First of all, it’s math camp this week, science was last week and second,” TK leans against the back his chair. “You’re not funny.”

“Oh you know you laughed,” Carlos answers, seeing right through TK.

“Anyways,” TK says, moving swiftly on. “Last week they learned how to make fizzy lemonade as a science experiment. This week, they watched a School House Rock special about how to save money. Long story short, I have a seven year old who has decided to go toe to toe with Country Time Lemonade.” TK explains and Carlos laughs. “Though it’s not looking to good for us but Jonah doesn’t want to give up.”

“Well, he is your brother.” Carlos remarks, off-handedly.

“I’m assuming that’s a good thing?”

“It’s the best thing, TK” Carlos answers. “You never do anything halfway; you should have known Jonah wouldn’t either.”

“That’s true.” TK mumbles. “And we are both our mother’s child.” TK mutters to himself, thinking fondly about Gwyn. Gwyn always tried her best not to give up on anything, on anyone; on him. “It’s just, we haven’t had any customers and I can tell it’s starting to get to him. I don’t want him to be sad about something out of his control.”

Carlos is silent a moment before replying, “Well, between you and me, I think his luck might change soon.”

TK’s looking over the signs he and Jonah had spent the last 20 minutes working on. He points at a black and yellow blob. “And that is,”

“It’s a bumblebee, TK.” Jonah rolls his eyes. “Can’t you see the stinger?”

TK looks at the drawing closer, not seeing anything different. “Oh yeah, it’s right there.” TK points in a general direction and Jonah moves his finger down until he’s pointing at something completely different. “Ah, got it.”

He holds up the sign, “Why bumblebees? We’re not selling honey.”

Jonah releases a very purposeful and heavy sigh. “They’re yellow? Like the lemons?”

TK nods his head, “Oh yes, obviously.”

Before TK can continue to embarrass himself is front of the seven year old business mogul himself, he sees a movement out of the corner of his eyes. He turns slightly to see Carlos walking down the sidewalk. He’s still dressed in his uniform and TK can’t help but feel a pang sympathy for him. Last time he checked his watch it was 86 degrees; and that was an hour ago.

Carlos walks up to where both he and Jonah are sitting before saying, “Hey there, so I was in the neighborhood.

TK’s eyebrows furrow, “Carlos we’re married, we live together, this is our neighborhood.”

“Just go with it, babe.” Carlos says through a tired smile. “Anyways, I was in the neighborhood and couldn’t help but be drawn to this colorful sign. I really love the bumblebees.”

Jonah’s smile is so bright TK can feel himself falling in love with Carlos all over again. “Thanks! He didn’t even know where the stinger was.” Jonah using his thumb to gesture to TK.

“How could he not,” Carlos jokes and TK can start to see where this is going. “Isn’t it that,” Carlos points to exactly where the stinger is. “Right there?”

“Is there something we can help you with, sir?” TK asks the question; annoyed but more importantly, playful.

“Well, I was hoping to buy some lemonade, and this seemed like the perfect place.” Carlos smiles and TK swears he can see all traces of defeat leave Jonah’s eyes. “What do you have?”

Jonah begins to talk Carlos through the both options: classic lemonade, strawberry lemonade; both fizzy. “It’s twenty-five cents a cup.”

“Hmm,” Carlos looks over the pitchers, weighing his options. “How much for the both pitchers?”

“You want to buy all of it?” Jonah asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah, how much are we looking at?” Carlos asks, reaching for his wallet. TK gently nudges Jonah, whispering loud enough for Carlos to hear. “Overcharge him.”

Jonah ignores him as Carlos laughs and pulls out a five. Jonah does the math, and TK watches his work. He can see the math camp is doing him some good. When Jonah tells him how much it’ll be, Carlos hands over the five and tells him to keep the change.

“Thanks, Carlos.” Jonah smiles up at Carlos, one of his front teeth missing.

“Go put that with the money you got from the tooth fairy, okay?” TK suggests. “Then come back out here so we can clean this all up before dinner.”

TK watches after Jonah before turning and looking up at Carlos. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love it.” Carlos argues and TK sighs as he stands up and begins pouring the lemonade from the cups back into the pitchers.

“You know I do.” TK leans forward looking around them and the houses next to them. “Where’s your baby?”

“What are you talking about, you’re standing right there.” Carlos says the words casually.

TK smiles despite himself. “You’re cute, I mean your car.”

“Parked down at the Bakers; don’t worry, I let Mandy know.” Carlos shrugs, “Felt like parking in the drive way and walking up would ruin the illusion.” Carlos gestures to the plastic bag in hand, “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go put some Parmesan cheese in the fridge before this Texas heat causes it to spoil.”

TK grabs Carlos’ shoulder before he makes it too far, “Babe,” He looks up at Carlos. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you two.” Carlos smiles. “Chicken Alfredo paired with a ice cold glass of fizzy lemonade. Sounds like a pretty perfect dinner to me, don’t you think?”

TK smiles. “About as perfect as could be.”