#i can confirm. it does tend to be a little detremental to ones health
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I may be a little too nonchalant about whats happening to me. I mean sure it's horrifying without a doubt
But I'm pretty sure my mother thinks I'm dying, oops
#jen talks#i just called her and asked her to pick me up some food#cause i havent been able to leave the apartment much#and like shes throwing out all these diseases and i could hear her choking up#woops#but to be fair. everything is feeling better#i can literally feel my muscles pulling shit back into place#i certainly dont feel like im dying#the way i was feeling before was WAY worse#i was bloated so bad my skin was pale#my spine had rotated along with my legs to accommodate the extra nonsense#so like there was a LOT of pressure on ALL of my joints for over 20 years#i can confirm. it does tend to be a little detremental to ones health#but like also#visually im looking so much healthier#like the fluid is draining#i can feel my appendages and skin again#if i ever could in the first place#the trade off for rn is sometimes i cant move and honestly that kind of okay#this whole “surprise you're disabled” thing is oddly relieving#like a lot of my abuse stems from my father viewing me as lazy#and putting into context that i was chronically ill and always in pain#a lot of that abuse seems so much less impactful#because in truth there was no “trying harder” cause like. i was giving it all i had#and it kinda seems a little silly now#yeah go ahead scream and holler at your two disabled children and then get mad when they dont listen#fuck no wonder i was always so loud#i was partially deaf#god damn lifes a bitch
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