#i can barely even remember the past few days
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
jo-speaks · 3 days ago
Note
Happy birthday!! Can I request 🎂 (keep reading, don't let me distract you) With quinn of course
Tumblr media
warnings: smut below the cut!! mdni! oral sex (fem! receiving), yeah that's pretty much it
requests for this celebration are still open! you can request here :)
Tumblr media
You were lying on the couch, wearing nothing but a pair of sleep shorts and a sports bra, nose-deep into a book Quinn had recommended to you a few days ago. You had gotten sleepy while watching the game, so you decided maybe a book would keep you awake. You were right. The plot was growing intensely in a way that made it impossible for you to stop your eyes from shifting left to right, processing every word and picturing everything vividly in your mind.
You were so focused on the story that you hadn’t noticed Quinn walk into the apartment. Not even the thud of his bag hitting the floor was enough to snap you out of your trance.
Quinn noticed your state of being when he entered the apartment. You had the blinds closed even though you had the perfect view of the skyline from the windows. The only light in the room came from the TV where you had some background music playing. He smiled when he noticed what you were reading, a sense of pride flooding his body as he recognized the familiar title.
He didn’t want to interrupt you, but he wanted to be close to you. He kicked off his shoes and stripped himself of his game-day suit, leaving him in nothing but his underwear before he made his way over to you.
No words were exchanged as he pushed your knees apart, finding a home in between your legs with his head on your stomach. You removed one hand from the book, moving it to mess with his hair. Smiling at the feeling, Quinn placed a kiss on your bare midriff, earning a giggle from you. 
“That tickles.” You mumbled, returning back to the sentence you had left off on.
Quinn smiled, “Go back to your book, baby. It’s a good read.”
He realized you already had when he was met with silence. His lips met your stomach again. And again.
It hadn’t been his intention to pull your attention away from the book. It genuinely was a good story, but he couldn’t help but trail his kisses from your navel to just mere inches from your core. Before he even knew what was happening, he was sliding your shorts and panties down your legs, letting them find a new home on the floor.
“Quinn?” You asked, voice trembling slightly as you lowered your book to see what he was doing.
He peered up at you, offering you a sweet smile, “Keep reading. Don’t let me distract you.”
You obeyed, trying to control your breathing and bring your focus back to the pages once again as he placed a soft kiss on your clit. 
His tongue lapped against your core in a tamed manner until a switch seemed to flip in his brain.  His once previously soft actions turned messy in a matter of seconds, beginning to eat you out like you were his last meal.
Whimpers turned into moans as you tugged on his hair, earning a groan from him, the vibrations translating perfectly from his throat to your throbbing clit. You couldn’t fathom the thought of picking the book up again, too distracted by his mouth to even remember anything you had read in the past hour.
“Fuck, Quinn. Don’t stop. Please.” You babbled, brain turning to mush as he shifted his tongue from lapping at your clit to prodding at your entrance. His nose replaced that sensation, the tip of it rubbing up perfectly against you, causing you to grind your hips against his face.
Quinn pulled away slightly to speak, “Cum for me, sweet girl. Let me get you there.” Once he got his words out, he dove right back into you as if you were his only source of oxygen.
It didn’t take long before you were crying out, the forgotten book sliding off your chest and onto the ground, as you arched your back, a wave of euphoria hitting you hard.
He didn’t stop his actions, helping you ride out your orgasm whilst sucking in every last drop of it. He wouldn’t have stopped had it not been for the palm of your hand pushing his head away from you. 
Quinn trailed kisses up your body, worshiping you silently before he reached your face, placing a loving kiss on your lips, the taste of you lingering against your tongue. 
“So much for not distracting me. I was getting to the climax.” You jokingly complained.
Your boyfriend snorted as he made himself comfortable on top of you, “And I helped you get there.”
201 notes · View notes
positivelyholland · 1 day ago
Note
Can we get a Styles-Swift reader! imagine in honor of Liam Payne?
Steady Hands in the Storm
Pairing: Harry Styles x daughter!reader
Genre: slight angst into fluff
Warnings: kinda a heavy one but it has a happy ending
A/N YALL IM BACK Word Count: 7,243
The house was unusually quiet. The kind of silence that feels heavy, pressing down on every surface. You sat at the kitchen table, absentmindedly stirring a spoon through your cup of tea. It had gone cold a while ago, but you hadn’t noticed. Not really. All your focus was on your father, who was sitting across from you.
He was hunched over, elbows on the table, his head in his hands. His curls looked messier than usual, like he hadn’t bothered to tame them today. You’d noticed the little things over the past few days—the way he moved slower, the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes anymore. Even the way his voice sounded softer, like the energy had drained out of him.
You knew why, of course. The news had hit everyone hard. Liam Payne, your dad’s former bandmate, had passed away unexpectedly. And even though it had been years since One Direction had been a band, those boys were still family to him. Losing Liam felt like losing a part of himself.
“Dad,” you said softly, your voice barely breaking the stillness.
He didn’t look up, but you saw his shoulders tense slightly.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse.
You sighed, setting your spoon down with a soft clink. You knew him well enough to understand that he wasn’t trying to shut you out. He just didn’t know how to put what he was feeling into words.
So, you decided to try a different approach.
“Do you remember that time Liam came over for Christmas when I was, like, six?” you said, leaning back in your chair. “He spent the whole day teaching me how to do a handstand in the living room. Mum was furious because we kept knocking over the decorations.”
That got a small huff of a laugh out of your dad, though he still didn’t lift his head.
“I thought she was going to banish him from the house forever,” you added with a grin.
“He kept apologizing every five minutes,” your dad muttered, finally looking up. His green eyes were red-rimmed, and you could tell he hadn’t slept much. “But then he’d just… try again. Said you were getting better every time.”
You smiled softly, nodding. “I did get better. All because of him.”
The room fell quiet again, but it didn’t feel as heavy this time. You could see your dad’s shoulders relax a little, his hands falling to rest on the table.
“He was so good with you,” Harry said after a moment. “Always patient. Always kind.”
You reached across the table, placing your hand over his. “He loved you, Dad. All of you. I think you meant as much to him as he did to you.”
Your dad swallowed hard, his jaw clenching as he tried to keep his emotions in check.
“It just… it doesn’t feel real,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up and… and he’ll call or text, and it’ll all have been some kind of awful dream.”
You squeezed his hand gently. “I know. But he wouldn’t want you to carry this alone. You’ve always told me that grief is lighter when you share it.”
He gave you a faint smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes but was a start.
“Why are you so wise for a teenager?” he asked, his voice tinged with warmth.
You shrugged, trying to keep the mood light. “I get it from Mum. Obviously.”
That earned you a soft chuckle, and for a moment, it felt like the cloud hanging over the room lifted just a little.
Over the next few days, you made it your mission to help your dad through his grief, even if he didn’t realize it. It was little things at first—making sure he ate, suggesting you watch one of Liam’s favorite movies together, or putting on some music to fill the silence.
But as time went on, you noticed that your dad seemed to be retreating into himself more. He’d spend hours in his studio, not working on anything, just sitting there with his guitar in his lap. You’d find him staring out the window, lost in thought, or holding his phone like he was waiting for a call that would never come.
It broke your heart to see him like this, so you decided to take a more direct approach.
One evening, you found him in the living room, staring at an old photo album. You sat down next to him without a word, leaning against his shoulder as you looked at the pictures. Most of them were from his One Direction days—grainy selfies, group shots from concerts, and candids of the boys goofing around backstage.
“Did you ever think those days would end?” you asked softly.
He shook his head. “Not really. We were so young, so caught up in it all. It felt like it would last forever.”
“But you’re still close,” you pointed out. “You and Louis talk all the time. And Niall sends those ridiculous videos that make you laugh so hard you cry.”
He smiled faintly at that. “Yeah. And Zayn… well, we’ve reconnected a bit over the years. It’s not the same as it was, but there’s still love there.”
You nodded, flipping the page to a picture of Liam holding a microphone, his face lit up with a big, toothy grin. “He’d be proud of you, you know. For everything you’ve done. For the way you’ve been there for everyone else, even when it’s hard for you.”
Your dad’s eyes filled with tears, and he quickly wiped them away, his hand trembling slightly.
“I just… I feel like I should’ve done more,” he admitted. “Checked in more often, made more of an effort to keep in touch. Maybe if I had, things would’ve been different.”
You shook your head firmly. “No, Dad. You can’t think like that. You loved him, and he knew that. Sometimes, life just… happens. It’s not anyone’s fault.”
He looked at you then, his eyes searching yours for some kind of reassurance. “How’d you get so good at this?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion.
“Years of listening to your music,” you teased, earning a watery laugh from him.
A few weeks later, your dad had a concert scheduled—a big one, with thousands of fans waiting to see him. You weren’t sure if he was ready to perform, but he insisted that the show must go on.
That night, as you stood backstage, you could feel the nervous energy radiating off him. He kept pacing, running his hands through his hair and mumbling to himself.
“Dad,” you said, stepping in front of him to stop his pacing. “You’ve got this.”
He looked down at you, his green eyes wide and uncertain. “What if I break down in the middle of it? What if I can’t do it?”
“You will,” you said confidently. “Because you’re doing this for him. And because he’d want you to.”
He took a deep breath, nodding slowly. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”
As the lights dimmed and the crowd erupted into cheers, your dad turned to you one last time. “Stay close, yeah?”
“Always,” you promised.
The concert started off strong, with your dad pouring his heart into every song. The crowd loved him, cheering and singing along to every word. But it wasn’t until halfway through the set that he finally addressed the elephant in the room.
“This next one…” he began, his voice shaking slightly. “This next one is for someone very special to me. Someone who’s no longer with us, but who will always be a part of my heart.”
The stadium fell silent, the weight of his words sinking in.
“I miss you, mate,” he said softly, his voice cracking. “This one’s for you.”
He started to play, his voice raw with emotion as he sang a song he’d written just for Liam. The lyrics were beautiful, filled with love and pain and memories of the friendship they’d shared. By the time he finished, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house—including yours.
When he walked off stage, you were there waiting for him, your arms open wide. He pulled you into a tight hug, holding on like you were his lifeline.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice thick with gratitude. “For everything.”
You smiled against his shoulder, tears streaming down your face. “Always, Dad. Always.”
In that moment, you knew that while the pain of losing Liam would never fully go away, your dad would be okay. Because he wasn’t alone. He had you, and he had the love and memories of a bond that could never be broken.
And that was enough.
The End.
46 notes · View notes
cheollollipop · 1 day ago
Text
Fragments of Us - Chapter 1. | c.sc
Tumblr media
pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader
genre: angst, fluff, smut (MDNI)
warning(s): mentions of drinking, mention of not eating, car accident (character injury)
summary: two years after a messy breakup, seungcheol and yn reconnect unexpectedly.
word count: 6.3k
start date: nov. 20, 2024
end date: -
a/n: it's finally here! i am so nervous, and i really do hope you all enjoy:)<3
════════════════════════════
I step into my apartment, exhausted from another long day. I toss my bag on the couch and stretch, feeling the tight knots in my shoulders relax just a little. The rain outside tapped softly against my windows, a soothing rhythm that made me look forward to nothing more than a warm shower, a cup of tea, and my favorite book.
I head to the bathroom, brushing my hair back and running the water, letting the steam fill the room. As I reach for my toothbrush, my phone buzzes, startling me. Wiping my hands on a towel, I glance at the screen. An unknown number was calling. I hesitate for a moment but then ignore it. "Probably a telemarketer," I mutter to myself, returning to my routine. A few minutes later, I hear the familiar chime of a voicemail notification. Curious, I play the message.
"Hello, this is Dr. Kim from SVT Hospital. We're calling about Choi Seungcheol. He was brought in following a car accident earlier this evening, and you are listed as his emergency contact. Please return our call as soon as possible."
My heart stops as the words begin to echo in my head. Seungcheol. I hadn't heard that name in a little over a year. Yet here it was, suddenly bringing me back into a past I thought I had left behind. I stood for a moment, frozen, my mind racing. Why was I still his emergency contact? What had happened to him? Is he alive?
Without a second thought, I grab my jacket, keys, and phone and rush out the door, my hands shaking as I fumble to lock it behind me.
Outside, the storm had intensified. Rain lashes against the windshield of my car, the wipers struggling to keep up as I drive through the dark, slick streets. Lightning flickered in the distance, followed by the rumble of thunder, but I barely noticed. My mind was fixed on Seungcheol, on the possibility that he was hurt, on why he still had me listed as the person to call in an emergency. I hadn't prepared myself for this, for the sudden rush of emotions I thought I had buried long ago.
The drive felt endless, the storm making every turn and stoplight an agonizing wait. I begin to think of the last time we spoke and how cold and final our breakup had been. But now, all I can think about is getting to the hospital and seeing him, making sure he is okay.
When I finally arrive, I run through the rain, my shoes splashing through puddles as I rush into the emergency room. The harsh, sterile lights and the buzzing sounds of monitors greet me as I approach the front desk, out of breath. I tell the receptionist my name and Seungcheol's, and they direct me to the waiting area, where I'm told to wait for an update.
I sit down, my wet clothes sticking uncomfortably to my skin, my mind swirling with thoughts and memories. I look around at the other people sitting in the room, each lost in their own concerns, and try to steady my breathing, but it feels impossible. I clasp my hands together as if holding on to something slipping away.
As the minutes stretched on, my mind began to wander. I remember the first time I met Seungcheol through Jihoon, how he had shyly asked me out after multiple failed attempts. I thought of the late-night drives we used to take with no destination in mind, just enjoying the sound of each other's voices and the quiet moments in between. I could almost see his smile, hear his laugh, and feel the warmth of his hand in mine.
Thunder rumbled outside, louder this time, and I glanced at the window, seeing the rain still pouring down. The storm mirrored the turmoil inside me, a churning mix of worry, regret, and something else I couldn't quite name.
I close my eyes and lean against the wall, trying to steady my racing heart. I don't know what I would say when seeing Seungcheol if I even see him. Would he be surprised to see me here? Would he even want me here? But none of that mattered right now. All I can do is wait, hope, and let myself daydream, just for a little while, about what it would be like if things had been different if I hadn't let go.
Laughter.
The sound of my friends and boyfriend fills the room, pulling me back to reality. I feel a tightness in my chest, a sense of entrapment creeping in.
I don't want to be here.
I flinch slightly when Seungcheol's hand moves up and down my arm, his voice cutting through my thoughts. "Speaking of presents, everyone! Gather around!"
When will this day end? I silently plead.
"I'm happy that you all could join us tonight to celebrate YN's birthday," Seungcheol says. The room erupts in applause, a few cheers echoing. I cringe at the sound.
"I'll keep this short and sweet," he continues, taking a deep breath. "YN's, it's been ten years since we first met and five years since you finally caved and started dating me. I guess I wore you down, huh?" The crowd chuckles, but I tense up in my seat.
Please don't do what I think you're about to do, Seungcheol. My thoughts grow louder, nearly drowning out his voice.
"Over the years, we've shared so many moments—some amazing, some awkward, and a few where you probably questioned your life choices." He walks over, kneeling in front of me, and grabs my hand. "But honestly, I can't imagine my life without you. YN, will you do me the greatest honor of becoming my wife?"
"YN...?" A voice breaks through the haze. I blink and suddenly realize I wasn't dreaming. I now face Lee Jihoon, the man I once called my best friend.
"Jihoon..." I murmur, dazed.
"It's really you," he replies, his voice carrying disbelief. I haven't seen or spoken to him in two years, yet he still looks the same.
"Um, have you heard anything...?" I ask cautiously.
"Still no update. And, before you ask, some of the guys are on their way. Chan, Seungkwan, and Mingyu couldn't catch a flight until tomorrow, and a few others didn't respond. So, it's just us for now," he explains.
I nod and sink back into the chair. More questions swirl in my head, none of which I can answer. Why was he driving so late? In this weather? What was he thinking?
"What the hell was he thinking?" I mutter aloud.
"He knows about your dad. We all do..." Jihoon's voice pulls me back.
"What?" I ask, confused. He's about to explain when a soft voice interrupts, drawing both our attention.
"I'm here for Choi Seungcheol," a new arrival says to a nurse.
"Seokmin..." I breathe, catching his eye. His face lights up in shock.
"Y-YN?!" he stammers.
"Hi," I manage, my voice cracking. I stand up, and he rushes over, pulling me into a tight hug that makes my eyes sting with tears.
"Shhh, it's okay. He's going to be okay. He has to be..." Seokmin murmurs, his hand gently rubbing my back.
As he lets go, I see more familiar faces trailing behind, their expressions a mix of shock and confusion.
"YN?!" Jeonghan exclaims, unable to hide his surprise.
"In the flesh," I reply with a weak laugh, sending a slight wave to Vernon and Soonyoung, who look just as bewildered.
"Choi Seungcheol?" A doctor calls out, and we all rush forward.
"How is he?" Jeonghan asks his voice tight with anxiety.
"He—"
"Is he okay?" I interject.
"It w—"
"Did he make it?" Soonyoung adds, causing all of us to glare at him.
"Guys."
"Sorry," we chorus, silencing ourselves. The doctor sighs.
"I'm sorry to inform you that the patient has a severe concussion and a torn ACL. The anterior cruciate ligament is crucial for knee stability, and the tear means it's no longer intact, leading to pain, swelling, and instability. This most likely happened due to the impact of the steering wheel colliding with his knee. We'll discuss treatment options with him in the morning. Rest assured, we're doing everything we can to aid his recovery."
"What..." I whisper.
"He's okay. He made it," the doctor reassures. We all stand there, wide-eyed and speechless.
"'I'm sorry to inform you' was a wild way to start that sentence, Doc," Vernon mutters.
"Wait, but I heard—" Jihoon starts, but the doctor cuts him off.
"My apologies. He was unconscious when paramedics found him. It's a natural response when someone's in shock."
Silence fills the room.
"You can stay if you like. We've given him medication for the pain, and he'll be out for the rest of the night," the doctor continues.
"Thank you," Jihoon says. With that, the doctor leaves.
"That lucky motherfucker," Vernon mutters as he and Jihoon embrace while I remain frozen.
"YN?" Seokmin's voice calls out to me, but I can't move.
"He's okay..." Jihoon adds gently.
He's okay.
My knees give out, and before I hit the floor, Seokmin catches me, pulling me into another hug. I finally break, sobbing into his chest.
"Shhh, he's okay, YN," Jihoon murmurs soothingly.
We sit on the floor, my cries filling the otherwise silent space. Eventually, we go to Seungcheol's room, and I pray he's not awake. I don't know what I'd say. Hi?
Thankfully, he's still asleep. The sight of him shatters me. His face is swollen and bruised, and there's a brace on his leg. How can someone look so peaceful while in so much pain?
"Cheo—" I try to speak, but the words catch in my throat.
I step closer, scanning his features. My hand touches his face, but he stirs, and I freeze. When he settles, I gently cup his cheek, feeling the burn of tears in my eyes.
"What the hell were you thinking, Cheollie?"
The room falls silent. Outside, the rain softly beats against the windows, punctuated by the steady beeping of machines.
"Let's all just rest for now. It's been a long night," Jeonghan suggests.
We all try to settle in, but sleep doesn't come quickly. As Dokyeom, Vernon, and Soonyoung drift off, my mind refuses to quiet.
"I had a moment a few months back," I say to no one in particular.
"A moment?" Jeonghan asks.
"I was at a bookstore, and a group of friends came in. They were loud but not annoyingly so. They were laughing,... genuinely happy to be together. They reminded me of..."
"They reminded you of us," Jihoon states softly, more than he asks. I chuckle, looking up at them.
"I was finally starting to accept that I'd never see you guys again..."
"Yeah, well, whose fault is that?" Jeonghan snaps, clearly still hurt.
"Jeonghan!" Jihoon hisses, but I shake my head.
"No, he's right. I don't blame you for being mad. You all should be. I know these aren't the best circumstances, but I've really missed you."
Silence hangs heavy, and I drift into a restless sleep.
"What a way to end a wonderful day, am I right?" Seungcheol's voice echoes through our apartment as I head to the bedroom.
"I can't believe you're my fiancé! We're actually getting married!" He trailed behind me, his excitement palpable, but he stopped in his tracks when he noticed me pacing back and forth.
God must be laughing at me.
"Hey, I know that was probably a lot. I'm sorry if it was. I couldn't wait any lo—"
"I can't marry you, Seungcheol."
"What?"
"Please... don't make me say it again."
He makes a nervous, suspicious sound. "Ha! You almost got me there for a second." But his smile fades, and I see the realization creeping across his face.
"You're not— you're not joking."
I stand there, completely at a loss. In the twenty years I've known him, I've never been so unsure of what to say.
"Don't just stand there! Say something!" His voice cuts through the silence, sharp and desperate.
"Cheol, I—"
"I proposed to you in front of our friends... our families!"
"I never asked you to do that."
"That's not the point, YN!"
"Please stop yelling, Seungcheol," I say, my voice trembling but firm.
"Why?" He stares at me, his eyes blazing.
"Excuse me?" I challenge, raising an eyebrow.
"I think we should be able to have a civil conversation like adults, no?"
"That's not— God dammit!" He slams his hand against the dresser, the sound echoing in the room.
"Why won't you marry me?"
"Do I need a reason?"
"Actually? Yeah."
"Fine. Maybe because I don't want to."
"Bullshit," he snaps.
"Oh, really?"
"YN, you've been talking about wanting to get married someday since we met."
"I'm just not ready, okay?"
"You're acting like we're getting married tomorrow. We can set a date for later when you are ready. No one said we had to rush." He steps closer, reaching for my hand, but I pull back, my legs hitting the edge of the bed.
"Look, I get it. Your mom's passing... it's not easy. I know—"
"Seungcheol, don't you dare bring her into this. You asked for a reason. I gave you one."
"It's okay if that's the reason. I know how much you wanted your mom to be there—"
"For God's sake, Seungcheol! You are suffocating me!"
The words hang in the air, sharp and raw, and I instantly regret them. My hands fly to my mouth, my eyes wide with shock, and he freezes.
"Cheol, I didn't—"
"Don't."
"Seungcheol, I didn't mean that!"
He doesn't say another word. He turns and walks out of the room. I hear the jingle of keys, and panic surges as I run after him.
"Seungcheol!" I call out, but it's too late. The door slams behind him, cutting off my voice.
════════════════════════════
There's a faint knock on the door, and my eyes snap open. A nurse enters, and I lie still, listening as she greets him. She checks his vitals and, before leaving, makes a comment that causes me to tense up.
"I hear your girlfriend stayed all night. She's beautiful. You're lucky to have her and your other friends. They were worried sick about you."
"Ah, she's not my girlfriend, but thank you. I'll be sure to tell them. See you later!" he responds, probably shooting her that gummy smile.
Once she's gone and the door shuts, he speaks again. "You still talk in your sleep, you know."
I freeze. "Wait, how did you—"
"Your breathing changed," he replies. Great.
"How are you feeling?" I ask, turning over to face him fully.
"I've been worse, honestly," he says.
"Cheol, what were you thinking?"
"Dokyeom told me about your dad," he replies, catching me off guard.
"H-How does he know about that?" I stammer.
"Sonya."
"Of course," I chuckle slightly.
"She was worried. We all were. She called Wonwoo when you locked yourself in your apartment and no one had heard from you for weeks. Wonwoo called Dokyeom, and when he told me, I tried to get your number, address, anything. I even drove to Sonya's to beg for any details. He meant a lot to all of us. After a few days of nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm sure you can figure out the rest," he explains.
"Seungcheol, at 3 in the morning? You couldn't have waited until morning, or at least until the rain stopped? All this to check if I was okay. That was the stupidest thing you could've done. You could have died!"
"But I didn't. I'm here, aren't I?" he chuckles.
"This isn't funny!"
"You haven't changed one bit," he says.
"I—What's that supposed to mean!?" I sit up, and his chuckle turns into full-blown laughter.
"Glad to see you two haven't killed each other yet," Soonyoung says as he walks through the door, and Jihoon punches his arm.
"Ow! What was that for?!"
"Stop talking," Jihoon responds, glaring at him.
Seungcheol and I exchange an awkward glance before he clears his throat.
"The guys said they'll be landing later this afternoon," Jihoon adds.
"Why are they flying back?" Seungcheol asks, confused.
"We didn't know how serious it was, so we thought—"
"You thought you'd scare everybody? Great," Seungcheol interrupts and Jihoon shoots him a glare.
"Anyway... we brought food," Jihoon says, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that's filled the room.
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," I say.
"Eat," Seungcheol says, his tone firm.
"Excuse me?"
"Have you seen yourself?" he asks, genuinely concerned.
"Coups," Jihoon and Soonyoung warn.
"What? Let's not pretend everything's fine. She may not be in a hospital bed, but she should be. Look at her!"
"Hello! I'm right here, and I am—"
"Don't you dare say you're fine because we all know you're not. Remember how that went two years ago? Why aren't you backing me on this?" Seungcheol's voice rises, irritation creeping in.
"You know what? I'm not doing this right now. I'm glad you're okay. It was nice seeing you all, but I'm going to leave now," I say, getting up to gather my things.
"Typical," Seungcheol mutters, but I ignore him.
"Going to change your number again? Ghost everyone? Disappear like you did last time?"
"There it is," Soonyoung whispers.
"You know what, Seungcheol? Screw you! You think what I did was easy?" I turn to face him, my voice rising.
"Sure seemed like it," he snaps back.
"Don't be so sure of yourself, Choi."
"Oh? Please, enlighten us."
I scoff, feeling my frustration boil over.
"Exactly."
"Hey, maybe now's not the time to—" Soonyoung begins, but Seungcheol cuts him off, clearly annoyed.
"No. I'd love to hear this."
"You weren't there for me the way I needed you to be! Instead, you ignored all the signs and threw a surprise party! I was depressed for months, practically begging for help. My mother had just died, and you thought a party was the answer? And to make things worse, you proposed to me in front of everyone. What the hell was I supposed to do, Seungcheol? I know you meant well, but I didn't need a ring—I needed you!"
The room falls silent, the weight of my words hanging heavy.
"Believe it or not, leaving was the hardest decision I've ever made. I've spent every second of the past two years regretting it. I nearly—" I stop myself, taking a shaky breath.
"I'm so sorry I left. I'm sorry I couldn't communicate how I felt better. I've never forgiven myself for what I did to you. Trust me, every day has been hell because of it. And now, not only do I not have my mother, but I've also lost my dad. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I get a call saying you were in a terrible car accident. I thought I'd lost you, too!" My voice cracks, and tears start to fall.
"So you can take your little comments and shove them up your—"
"Enough!" Jeonghan shouts as he, Vernon, and Dokyeom enter the room.
"Don't worry, I'm leaving," I say to him, tears I'd tried to hold back now streaming down my face.
"YN..." Dokyeom begins, but I can't handle it.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this right now," I say, glancing over at Seungcheol, who looks stunned as if he's finally realizing why I left. Before anyone can say anything else, I walk out.
════════════════════════════
It's been a week since that unexpected reunion. Dokyeom and Jihoon have been calling and texting non-stop, but after a while, I stopped checking. The last message I saw said Seungcheol was back home, resting.
Dragging myself out of bed, I head to the kitchen to make some coffee. Just as I start pouring a cup, there's a knock on the door. I groan, muttering under my breath, "Please, just leave me alone."
Expecting Sonya, my best friend, I shuffle to the door. But when it swings open, my eyes widen in surprise.
"Ji? What are you doing here?"
"Hey... I hope it's okay. Sonya gave me your address," he says, stepping inside.
"Oh, um... sure, come in," I stutter, stepping aside to let him through.
"Nice place. It looks spacious," he comments, glancing around.
"Yeah, I work from home now, so I needed the space."
"You work from home?" he asks, turning to me in surprise.
"Yeah... It hasn't been easy since... well, everything. And then losing my dad on top of that... I just couldn't handle it." I trail off, my voice barely above a whisper. His gaze softens, and I feel a pang of discomfort under his worried eyes.
"Please, stop looking at me like that," I sigh.
"Like what?"
"Like I'm helpless."
"I'm sorry. I just hate that you had to go through everything alone. You could've talked to us. You could've talked to me..."
"Ji, you know it's not that simple. Everyone seemed so... happy, caught up in life. I felt awful, not just about Cheol but all of you. I felt like I was drowning while everyone else was thriving. I didn't want to—"
"Don't say you didn't want to burden us," he cuts me off. "YN, we've known each other forever. You never need to feel like you can't talk to me. I'm sorry you felt that way, but I'm always here for you. Good or bad, okay?"
"I'm sorry..."
"And you need to stop apologizing for expressing your feelings. I think I speak for all of us when I say you can come to us about anything. Even now. We're here for you. All of us. I wish you'd believe that."
"I do... it's just—ugh! I don't know. I'm sorry," I say, rubbing my face in frustration.
"It's okay," he chuckles, and soon, we're both laughing.
"I missed you, goofball," he says, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I missed you too," I sigh, feeling a bit of relief.
After a few moments, he pulls back slightly. "I have to ask, though..."
"Please. Don't," I warn.
"Okay, but seriously... that was intense."
"Any chance of being in his life again is ruined. Even if I wanted to, it's over. You saw how he acted."
"Maybe if I just—"
"No!" I snap, startling him. "I'm sorry. But what's done is done. What Seungcheol and I had was special, and even though it ended badly, I'm grateful for the time we had. Maybe it's best left in the past."
"And who exactly are you trying to convince?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Jihoon, please. Just drop it. For me?"
"Fine. But only because I miss hanging out with you. I miss us," he says, pouting.
"How are you still the same person?" I laugh, and we both ease into a more relaxed mood.
We spend hours catching up, and it feels like a weight has been lifted. He fills me in on everything I missed, and we joke around like old times.
"God, I can't believe you convinced Dokyeom and Mingyu to go bungee jumping!"
"It took Dokyeom 20 minutes to finally do it. Poor guy was terrified," he laughs.
"Remember when we went rock climbing?" I chuckle.
"When Mingyu called Chan 'hyung'? I'll never forget that," he says, making me laugh even harder.
"Those were good times. My dad laughed so hard that day. I miss him..." My laughter fades, and a sad feeling settles over the room.
"So... When was the service?" he asks.
"Three months ago."
"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't Sonya? We should've been there!"
"Don't be mad at her. I asked her not to. I didn't want you guys to feel obligated to do anything. Besides, I needed to heal. After my mom... I never properly dealt with it. So when my dad... well, I let myself grieve. I cried, laughed at memories, and forgave them for things I held onto. It only got bad recently. Everything became too much, and I needed to be alone," I explain, and he nods.
"And I shouldn't have taken that opportunity away from you guys. I'm sorry..."
"I get it. It's okay... Do you feel like it helped?"
"A bit, yeah. You're the first person I've seen in months, and this is the first real conversation I've had in just as long. So, I think I'm starting to get there. I hope."
"Well, I'm glad I get to share this moment with you," he says, placing his hand on mine.
"Me too," I smile, resting my head on his shoulder.
We sit in comfortable silence until his phone vibrates, interrupting the peace. He glances at it, his eyes widening briefly before he tries to hide it.
"It's him, isn't it? You don't have to hide it from me. I'm okay, I promise," I say, giving him a reassuring smile as he answers the call.
"Woozi, where the hell are you?" Seungcheol's voice boomed through the phone.
"Well, hello to you too," Jihoon said, making me stifle a laugh.
"Everyone's already here, so hurry up!"
"You're a bit sassy, you know that?"
"Yeah, yeah, just don't forget the beer," Seungcheol added, and I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore.
"Who was that?" he asked, and Jihoon quickly responded.
"Okay, I gotta go. See you soon. Bye!" He abruptly hung up, then looked at me, and I patted him on the head.
"The eldest awaits," I teased, and he swatted my hand away.
"Seriously, though. If you ever want to hang out, don't hesitate to call," he said earnestly.
"I promise," I replied, guiding him to the door before we shared a hug.
"Oh! I forgot to ask. Are you coming to the engagement party? I know you haven't been out much, but—"
I cut him off, "Engagement party? Who's engaged?"
"Sonya didn't tell you about...?"
Dumbfounded was the only way to describe how I felt at that moment.
"Tell me what, exactly?"
"She and Wonwoo are engaged?"
I stood there, jaw practically on the floor, stunned.
"Wait, wait, wait. PARDON?"
"Uh, maybe you should call her..." he said with a nervous chuckle.
"Anyway, I gotta go! Talk soon," and with that, he was gone.
════════════════════════════
"Jeon Wonwoo did what?! Why am I hearing this from Jihoon and not from you?"
"Oh, come on! We've been together for three years, YN. It was bound to happen."
"That still doesn't explain why I had to hear it from someone else," I stand there, arms crossed, feeling slightly offended.
"You've got a lot going on... I didn't want to just drop it on you..."
"Sonya. You're my best, BEST friend. No matter what I am going through, THIS is something I needed to know!"
She has the nerve to laugh.
"Why does everyone keep laughing at me? This is serious!" I whine.
"Full transparency?"
"I'll entertain it."
"I wanted to tell you, okay? I WAS going to...Eventually. But I didn't because..."
"Please don't say it was because of Choi Seungcheol. Sonya, we've had this conversation. I even told Ji—I'm fine," I insist.
"You're not."
I open my mouth to argue, but she holds up a finger.
"Before you try to lie, I know you better than anyone. Maybe even better than you know yourself. You can pretend everything's fine, but we all know it's not. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I don't think you ever will be completely okay—and that's okay."
"Let's not get dramatic."
"It's been two years. Why haven't you dated anyone?"
"My dad just died."
"That was months ago. You've had two years. And you can't keep using the 'dead parent' card. It's not fair!"
"I know, I'm sorry. But saying I'll never be happy is dramatic!"
"Fine, happiness will find you again blah blah blah, but deep down, you'll never forgive yourself for what happened with him."
I hate how she's always right. I roll my eyes, and she chuckles.
"I'm still mad you didn't tell me," I say, refusing to give her the satisfaction of admitting she's right, but she just smiles brightly anyway. Annoying.
"Oh, poor baby," she pats my head.
"So, does this mean you're coming?"
"Will... Will he, um, be there?"
"The fact that you're asking proves my point."
"SONYA!"
"Wonwoo is family. Of course, Cherry Boy will be there," she says, and I can't help but chuckle at the nickname.
"I don't know..."
"If you skip my engagement party after barging in here like this, you'll regret it," she warns.
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"I'll go! God," I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Wait, really?!"
"But I'm not promising it'll be a drama-free night. He definitely hates me."
"I heard about your little lover's quarrel at the hospital."
"Don't call it that," I say, scrunching my nose.
"That's what it sounded like! Dokyeom and Soonyoung said you could cut the tension with a knife," she teases.
"They were being dramatic. Seems to be everyone's thing these days," I sigh.
"Seungcheol's expressions said otherwise."
"Wait, what?"
"I went to check on him with the guys, and they told me what happened, even though Coups didn't want them to. But, you know how they are. Anyway, he seemed uncomfortable. Like he regretted it if that helps?"
"It doesn't. Great, now everyone knows I'm just a sulky mess who can't keep her temper in check."
"Hey, don't do that. He needed to hear it. I'm glad you got it off your chest. Now he knows there was a reason and that you did—and still do—have love and respect for him."
"I never said that," I snap back, but she just chuckles.
"You didn't have to."
"Oh god, not you, too," I groan.
"YN..."
"You and Lee Ji Hoon are ridiculous."
"I get that, but—"
"But nothing! What's done is done. Why can't you all just let it go?" I sink into her sofa.
"You still love him."
"Of course I care about him. He was my first everything. I'll always care for him."
"You know that's not what I mean. You're still IN LOVE with him," she says, and there's a beat of silence.
"At least let us try to help you be friends again—"
"Let's compromise," I cut her off.
"Hm?"
"Let me get my life together first, and MAYBE we can revisit the whole Seungcheol thing."
"That doesn't sound like a compromise."
"All of this is already a lot for me. I'm willing to hear you out. Take it or leave it."
"Deal."
"Deal."
"Now that that's settled... How are you?"
"I just told you—"
"I'm not talking about Seungcheol. How are YOU?" she presses.
"I'm okay?" I say hesitantly.
"Are you still drinking? Eating healthy?" I roll my eyes.
"No, and yes."
She raises an eyebrow, skeptical.
"No, Sonya. I'm not drinking. I haven't in a while. As for eating, I promise."
"Okay, I believe you," she raises her hands, surrendering.
"So, were you ever planning to tell me about the engagement party?"
"I was going to!"
════════════════════════════
To say I'm running on almost no sleep is an understatement. Tossing and turning all night, I couldn't stop thinking about Sonya and Wonwoo. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I can't shake this bitter feeling that keeps surfacing. Desperate for a distraction, I grab my phone and start scrolling aimlessly through Instagram. My eyes widen at what I see.
Jihoon and Seungcheol. I stare at the picture, hesitating before tapping on the tags and navigating to Seungcheol's page. To my surprise, I realize I've been unblocked. I scroll through his feed, noticing he's been working out a lot—something that was already obvious when I saw him at the hospital. As I scroll further, I see pictures of us together.
"He didn't delete them..." I mutter to myself, feeling a dull ache in my chest. I quickly set my phone down, sighing deeply before rolling over, forcing my eyes shut until I finally drift off.
A loud bang on my door jolts me awake, and the sun streams through my window, blinding me. The knocking persists, and I groan, throwing a pillow over my head to muffle the sound. When it doesn't stop, I realize it must be Jihoon and reluctantly stomp to the door.
"What the hell do you want?!" I shout as I fling the door open.
"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine," Jihoon says, stepping inside with a grin, and I notice Dokyeom trailing behind him.
"Remind me to yell at Sonya for giving you my address," I say, crossing my arms.
"Noted!" Jihoon responds, and I roll my eyes before hugging DK.
"He gets a hug, and I get the death glare? Wow," Jihoon says, clutching his chest dramatically.
"Why are you here at..." I glance at the clock, then roll my eyes, "8 a.m.?"
"Just wanted to check in, see how you're doing," Dokyeom says, but there's something off about the way they're both looking at me.
"You're not telling the truth," I say, narrowing my eyes.
"Is it a crime to want to see our dear best friend on a beautiful Sunday morning?"
"Jihoon?" I turn to him, and he's smiling uncomfortably.
"Lee Seokmin, what did you do?"
"Nothing!"
Silence. Too much of it.
"Oh, for crying out loud. DK told Seungcheol you were coming to the engagement party," Jihoon finally admits.
"Oh, that's it?" I chuckle.
"Not quite..." he continues.
"Okay... you're scaring me..."
"He's bringing... his friend," Dokyeom says hesitantly, "who happens to be a girl..."
Oh. I get it now. He has a girlfriend. Act. Normal.
"Oh! Good for him," I say, forcing a strained smile.
"Whew, that went better than I expected," Dokyeom says, oblivious to the looks Jihoon and I exchange.
Jihoon sees right through me. His eyes silently ask if I'm okay. I nod, pretending I'm not falling apart inside.
"Let's go get brunch!" Dokyeom announces, too cheerful for the situation. I love him, but he's terrible at reading the room.
"You can't just barge in and demand we get brunch. What if I had plans?"
"Do you?"
"Not the point."
"Oh, come on!" he whines. I glance at Jihoon, who scratches the back of his head, looking sheepish.
"You two are unbelievable," I grumble, heading to my room to get dressed. I hear them snickering as I close the door.
"I can hear you!" I shout.
I have to admit, it's nice to be out instead of sulking in my apartment. The weather's perfect—a welcome bonus.
"No mimosa?" Dokyeom asks as our food and drinks arrive.
"Not today," I reply, picking up my utensils, hoping to avoid further questions.
"You're no fun," he pouts.
"Anyway, I should thank you for this," I say, ignoring him.
"For what?" Jihoon asks.
"For dragging me out of the house. It's beautiful out, and I hate to admit it, but I miss being around people."
"Oh, hush. No need to thank us," he says.
We dive into random conversations, and after about 45 minutes, we finish our food and decide to head to the park to enjoy the weather.
"So tell me more about working from home," Jihoon says as we sit on the swings.
"Well. I thought about taking a leave, but then I wouldn't have anything to distract me during the day, so this seemed like the best option."
"How's that working out for you?"
"Honestly? I wouldn't say I like it. I've considered going back, but the thought of facing people, with everyone staring and whispering, is too much right now."
"Fair enough. Still, I admire you," he says, turning to me.
"Why?"
"The past two years have been tough, yet here you are, still moving forward. I've always admired that about you. You're strong, YN."
"I'm glad you think so, but I'm definitely not as strong as I seem. I've had my moments, trust me."
We sit in comfortable silence, watching Dokyeom try to flirt with a woman near the bike rental.
"God, he's shameless," I laugh.
"Poor girl," Jihoon comments, and we both chuckle.
"Can I ask you something?" I turn to him.
"Go for it."
"Seungcheol. Is he... okay?"
Jihoon's expression changes, and he sighs.
"You want the truth?"
"That bad?"
"It hasn't been great."
I sigh.
"The first year was rough. Really rough. He was angry at everyone and shut himself off completely. We didn't realize how bad it was until one night Joshua called, saying Seungcheol was in holding for getting into a bar fight."
"He did what?!" I exclaim, wide-eyed.
"Yeah. He shut us out. For a while, he barely left the house. It took us by surprise when he mentioned he was... seeing someone. We didn't even know he was dating or considering anything serious."
He glances at me, gauging my reaction. I smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes.
"If he's happy, that's all that matters, right?"
"It's bullshit if you ask me," he mutters.
"Ji..."
"I know, I know," he mumbles.
"Even now, he's never told us what happened the day you left," he adds softly. I inhale sharply, feeling a familiar tightness in my chest. There's a long pause before I respond.
"I hurt him. We can all agree on that. Whatever he chooses to do with his life is up to him. He deserves to be happy," I say, deflecting.
"You didn't just hurt him, you know," Jihoon says quietly.
"I—"
"No need to apologize. I get it, I guess. But it sucked not having you around. I really missed you, YN."
"I missed you too, Ji..."
"It's nice hearing you call me that again," he smiles.
"It's nice having you guys back, and maybe one day, when I'm ready, I'll tell you everything," I say, and he nods, his concern evident but unspoken.
"Guys! Guys! Guess what!" Dokyeom yells, running towards us, waving his phone.
"The girl I was talking to—she gave me her number!"
"She did what?" I ask, and Jihoon laughs.
"She has no idea what she's in for," he smirks.
"Hey! I'm a great catch! She even said I was charming," Dokyeom huffs.
"Charming..." Jihoon and I say in unison, breaking into a fit of laughter. Dokyeom groans.
"You're both mean!"
"Oh, come on. I want ice cream," I say, hopping off the swing and leading the way as Jihoon and Dokyeom follow.
════════════════════════════
After spending the day with the guys, I head back to my apartment. DK tried to convince me to have a sleepover "like old times," but I reminded him they had work tomorrow. He pouted until I agreed to a sleepover on Friday.
Later, as I lie in bed, my thoughts drift back to Sonya's engagement party next week. Why is he bringing her? I shake my head, trying to clear my mind.
"No more thinking about Choi Seungcheol," I mutter, rolling over and closing my eyes until sleep takes over.
One drink, I told myself.
I don't know how I ended up finishing almost an entire bottle, but I stopped caring. I dance around my empty apartment, bottle in hand, as music blares from the TV. When "Ocean Eyes" by Billie Eilish starts playing, I freeze.
As her voice fills the room, a familiar pain rises in my chest, and tears fall before I can stop them. I slump over the back of the couch, overcome by the ache. Anger surges, and I hurl the bottle at the wall. The rage grows, and I head to the kitchen, grabbing dishes and smashing them, one after another.
I storm into the living room, kicking the TV with all my strength and sending it crashing into the wall. I finally collapse, sliding down the wall and burying my face in my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. I don't know how long I stayed like that until I heard the front door open, followed by a gasp.
"Oh my god, YN!"
Sonya.
"What happened?!"
I can't answer. I can only cry.
"You're okay... shhh, it's going to be okay," she says, pulling me into a tight hug and rubbing my back with her hand.
"You're going to be okay."
23 notes · View notes
skribbyposts · 1 day ago
Text
Wip wednesday wwrwwew hey guys sorry i was absent. i lowk got kidnapped but here u go
__
“You look like fucking shit,” Zoro says from the doorway, not bothering with a greeting as he goes to sit on the counter across from the tea table Sanji has his head pillowed on.
“Don’t talk to me right now,” Sanji says, his voice muffled my his palms over his face. His leg is bouncing anxiously under the table, socked feet making barely audible thumps on the drywood. It’s pissing Zoro off. “Just–” Sanji starts, but the rest of what he was going to say disappears into a sigh.
The thing is, Sanji really does look miserable. Over the past few days, he’s gotten increasingly jittery– he won’t stay in one place besides the kitchen for longer than a minute, often pacing around the upper deck. He’s fidgety, even at the dinner table, and Zoro honestly doesn’t even remember if Sanji came into the men’s bunkroom to sleep last night. He knows that it’s because of Sanji’s withdrawal from ciggarettes or whatever, but it’s still unsettling to see.
They haven’t fought in about a week, and Zoro has started to feel this strange need to… help. In some way. He doesn’t know how, but apparently all Sanji has to do is ride out the symptoms for the next couple weeks, so if Zoro can make that even a little bit better, then that’s what he’ll do.
The thing is, as out of his depth he is when Sanji isn’t constantly bugging him, he’s even more confused about how exactly to do…this. He and Sanji have always had a healthy amount of violence mixed into all of their interactions, but that isn’t really an option right now.
So, Zoro goes back to what he knows, stretching over his seat on the counter to steal a bottle of sake from the booze cabinet. Sanji doesn’t move
to protest.
Zoro pops the cap, taking a swig of the rich alcohol. “I saw you throw all your stuff overboard last week.”
“Fuck off.”
“I saw the one you dropped too. Watched you pick it up and chuck that shit over the railing.”
32 notes · View notes
tamagotchikgs · 1 month ago
Text
i smacked my stomach in frustration & it reverberated so loud my cats fucking SC ATT E R ED ,,,,,,,,,,,,, i am but a gong. , ,,
#but guess whos finally making their pizza anyways when they should b in a hole decaying#i can barely even remember the past few days#only that they were failures#and im a failure && i am so Dirty#my acid reflux is going crazy i know it must have been bad o(-<#i still feel so disconnected#i think im a bit better#it doesnt feel like someone elses ghost snuck in nd is trying 2 pilot me but didnt know what to do with what they found anymore#i wish going out didnt do that to me#it comes in it sets me up but then i ruin it all . but then it ruins all of what i have back because it doesnt belong here. it doesnt work.#it doesnt fit. and now#im just stuck scared#alone#trying to get back to who i am#i feel so wrong#i am so Wrong#gonna watch jerma and hope it eases me back in but#its like my body thinks it can take from everything and make me fit but it cant its so distorted nd im always left back where we started#it takes from everything i hate#everyone i hate#just to seem like a person#and it makes me harm everything i have#and it feels so wrong the entire time but it has me#and i cant get free and i hate i . its like its supposed to be safe but it isnt#i forgot what it feels like i forgot it existed#it used to happen all the time when i was younger like 13-14 when things got real bad but it feels like the memories exist in a diff world#im deleting spotify again i forgot how music harms me HBJA.. i think it was the mix of going out n then losing myself listening to music#for Hours. it got its claws in me and then boiled me out and dug Deeper & deeper#i remember talking to my therapist about it once but she didnt understand. its like . an overwhelming sense of false clarity#how do i live when this is what happens when i try . do i get a chance to get out . is it just bc im alone. is it just im the same then&now
4 notes · View notes
girlthativealwaysbeen · 14 days ago
Text
i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
7 notes · View notes
selamat-linting · 17 days ago
Text
resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
7 notes · View notes
hooved · 2 years ago
Text
i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW
#there's a lot of legal shit going on so i'm really unsure when exactly we'll have to leave#my mom keeps telling me to pack an overnight bag just in case and i know she's right but there's other things i need to do first#plus i'm not leaving my computer here. i'm just not. i can't. it's my most important possession. it keeps me sane if you can call it that#i need to get everything else ready before finishing getting my ''i need these with me at all times'' stuff ready#because so much shit is in the way like i still need to take out trash and do more laundry#and get more things that have already been in boxes forever out of here. also the closet door is stuck so that's a problem#i don't even care about most of the shit in my closet like i know there's stuff from my childhood in there but i don't remember what#other than that it's junk. and decorations i bought for an eventual apartment but when the fuck is that even gonna happen#i know i'm sitting here doing nothing rn as i'm typing this but i'm like mentally stuck on what to do next without my mom's help#and she's not here rn. plus there's some dude that her shitty ex is letting stay downstairs rn ? for some reason ?#and i just don't feel comfortable leaving the room to get food or take out trash or change out the laundry. it's just weird#plus i'm sick and he has a weak immune system and like. i dunno i don't wanna be responsible for that#anyway sorry i'm rambling. i know it's understandable at a time like this but i just feel bad that this is all i'm talking about rn#i'm just so fucking depressed and stressed and tired and i've barely eaten anything for the past few days#i can't even have fun or talk to any friends like i normally do. my brain won't let me and it just doesn't feel right. i can't be happy rn#for even a second. it's just not the right time. there's nothing to be happy about. i have no hope at this point that things will work out
6 notes · View notes
maskedbyghost · 2 months ago
Text
lets continue our talk about situationship!Simon, where this bitch grovels for monthssss
_______________________________________________
situationship!simon starts sending you text messages. before you could expect something like "you up?" or "come to my office.", but after you broke things off with him, simon started sending you heartfelt text messages, apologizing for his past behavior. “i’ve been thinking a lot about what happened between us,” he texted one night. “i realize now how much i hurt you, and i’m truly sorry, love. i understand if you need space, but i wanted you to know how much i regret everything.”
along with his messages, simon started sending you small but meaningful gifts. he remembered how you’d joked about his tea obsession once and that you’d mentioned you only liked chamomile. to your surprise, he found the best brand of chamomile tea and even packed it in a nice box before delivering it to your room.
he even started to open up more. during a late-night phone call, where you could clearly hear that he was drunk, simon said that he started seeing a therapist. “i’m workin on understandin my issues and changin for the better. i want to be better, not just for you love, but for myself. i hope you can see that i’m tryin to change.”
when you asked him to stop calling you love, he refused. “i can’t help it. you’re mine in a way no one else could be, and i don’t want to pretend otherwise.”
as simon keeps showing up with gifts and heartfelt messages, you can’t help but wonder if he’s being real or if he’s just trying to win you back before breaking your heart again.
you still go on dates with other people, and simon is tormented every time he sees you leaving the base in those pretty dresses—dresses he wishes were just for him. he follows you, quietly lurking in the corners of the restaurants or bars where you’re out with your dates. oddly enough, most of the guys you go out with either get transferred to another base or stop calling you after just one date, and you’re doing your best not to blame simon for it. but you know it's him. and he is not sorry at all.
almost every day, simon texts you, asking you out on dates and planning special things for the who of you. all you have to do is say yes, but each time, you refuse. it breaks his heart every time, but it also makes him more determined to try even harder. he knows he deserves this treatment from you.
back when you and simon used to train together on base, it was a special routine you both enjoyed. now, you’ve started asking other guys to help you with exercises, and it drives him wild with jealousy. watching their hands on you makes him see red. after your training sessions with them, simon invites these guys to spar with him. it quickly becomes clear that he’s using these sparring matches as a chance to take out his frustration and anger, landing a few extra hits just to make his point.
despite everything, you still won’t budge, and it’s only making simon more frustrated. the truth is, it’s becoming harder and harder for you to resist him. his persistence is wearing you down, and the more he pushes, the more you find yourself struggling to stay strong.
simon invites you to one of his therapy sessions, saying his therapist thinks it would be helpful for him and his progress. during the session, he opens up about his struggles and insecurities, laying everything bare. as he talks, you start to feel sympathy for him. it’s clear he’s determined to change and work on himself, and you see how genuine his efforts are.
one night, you were preparing tea in the kitchen when a girl you know from the base asked for simon’s number. she mentioned she was interested in him, which made you jealous. you snapped at her, making it clear that he would never be interested in a girl like her. simon overheard the whole thing and couldn’t help but smirk to himself. it was clear you still had feelings for him, and he took a bit of satisfaction in that.
later that night he sent one simple message to you: "that's my girl. i belong to you, and you only."
after that message, simon stepped up his game. he started sending you lots of sweet texts and little gifts, and even took care of some of your paperwork. it was hard to ignore how much he was trying, and you found it tougher to resist him as he kept showing you how much he cared.
a few months after managing to ignore simon as best as you could, you caught a nasty cold and were stuck in your room. you only texted price to let him know you needed a few days off because you were sick, and got back in your bed trying to sleep that cold off. a few hours later, as you were still trying to fall asleep, you heard your door open. simon walked in, carrying a bunch of bags, a worried look on his face.
“i came as soon as I could,” simon said, worry in his voice. “i brought you soup and medicine.”
simon didn’t leave your side for days. he only went back to his room to grab more clothes and shower. he was insistent on helping you with everything, even assisting you with your showers in the most respectful way possible of course. he’d sit in a chair next to your bed, and you felt a pang of guilt seeing how much he was giving up for you. you even tried to convince him to go get some rest, but despite your protests, he somehow ended up in your bed, gently spooning you as you slept.
simon would whisper sweet things in your hair, thinking you were asleep. you heard every word as he softly talked about how much he missed you, how sorry he was for everything, and how he wanted to make things right. even though you were sick and exhausted, his words touched you deeply.
once you were feeling better, you found simon sitting alone in a common room, lost in thought. you approached him quietly and gently kissed the side of his face. with a soft smile, you whispered, “take me on that date you promised.”
_______________________________________________
@daydreamerwoah
3K notes · View notes
gojosprettyprincess · 3 months ago
Text
STUCK IN THE WASHING MACHINE TROPE WITH STEPBROTHER BAKUGOU!!!
Tumblr media
SMUT, Stepcest, dubcon in the beginning, Creampie, dumbification, anal play, he's aged up to 19, dirty talk, heavy degradation and Bakugou is really really mean cause he's Bakugou duh, slight daddy kink, some bad grammar bc it's not proofread. MINORS DNI!!!!
Word count - 2350
A/n - I have no idea how someone can possibly get stuck in a washing machine but just pretend you can😔🙏
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
"Katsuki Katsuki! Holy fuck are you deaf or something?! I'm stuck!" you yelled at the top of your lungs as you tried your very best to wiggle yourself out from the washing machine opening. You can't even remember how you got yourself into this fucking mess, you were just trying to look and see if there were any more clothing pieces left behind because you've been noticing a few of your panties have gone missing the past few days and it kept getting worse and worse to the point where you barely have any left to wear, you assumed it's because you accidentally kept leaving them in the washing machine and now somehow your fucking stuck.
Heavy substantial footsteps were heard loudly outside the room before the wooden door went flying open, causing the doorknob to hit against the wall, causing a loud bang, "The fuck do you want, can't you see I'm tryna fucking play?" the annoyed blond growled at you.
"Shut up and get me the fuck out" You yelled annoyed, while kicking your legs back to get his attention.
"Woah some mess you got yourself into, sweetheart" he smirks slyly while analyzing the situation, staring down at your pretty ass poking out of the washing machine, barely even covered by those tight slutty shorts you always wore around the house that never failed to make his cock rock hard.
"Oh please, just shut up and get me out already", you kicked your feet back hoping that he was behind you so it would hit him. "I don't think that's how you speak to someone you're trying to get help from, princess".
You rolled your eyes at the annoying pet names he always calls you every fucking time but you've grown used to it by now but the constant teasing was so fucking annoying. "Listen are you going to help me or not?".
"That depends princess, are you gonna beg me to or not?" you wanted to punch him in the face so fucking badly, imagining the shit-eating grin he definitely has plastered on his face right now. "Your so fucking annoying! No way go to hell!" you yelled.
"Oh yeah? Is that so"
He chuckled as he bent down behind you, eyes fixated on the way the thin material hugged your ass cheeks so tightly and delicious, you're so vulnerable in this position, he could keep you there and pound your slutty little holes for hours and hours if he wants to—which is probably what he's gonna do anyways.
He pressed the pad of his thumb against your damped crotch, rubbing it slowly back and forth as he watched the way your body jolted unexpectedly.
"Wha-what are you doing! You sick fuck??" you screamed as you tried to wiggle your ass away from his hold. "Oh, come on princess, let's have some fun yeah? You might even like it" he teases before tugging down your tiny shorts, just to be greeted with your glistening dripping cunt. A string of your slick connects to the crotch of the shorts before snapping away as he pulls it down to your knee. He groaned as his eyes took in the delicious sight in front of him, "No panties? And your fucking dripping, you probably planned this out and did this purposely just so I can come and see you like this, dirty fucking slut" he lands a harsh slap on your right ass cheek as you closed your eyes in embarrassment when you realized you're basically fucking exposed to him.
"Go to fucking hell you perv" You snapped back at him, "Oh yeah? I'm the perv?, I'm not the one fucking soaked and dripping onto the floor sweetheart". He laughs mockingly.
His dick was painfully hard and eager, straining to be released from his sweatpants, what can a man do? It's not his fault his dumb little stepsister always runs around the house with those tight little booty shorts, ass almost fully exposed, basically begging to be pounded and now he has his chance so why not take it?
He pulls his sweatpants and underwear down, thick perfectly curved dick slaps against his abdomen as pre cum oozes out of the angry red tip, he grips his fist around it before pumping himself a few times while circling your clit with his thumb, "Pretty little cunt you got here princess, been hiding this from me this whole time?"
"S-stop it Katsuki, this is wrong! You're my stepbrother, we can't do this!" you whined, it's so fucking wrong and fucked up and you sure as hell knew that, you just can't help but feel your needy cunt throbbing and yearning for more, it's only natural right?
Before you could even process anything else you felt his angry tip lining up at your entrance, his thick cock head bullying and prying it's way into your weeping tight hole before he shoves it all the way in unexpectedly, knocking the wind out of you as you hissed at the sudden pain.
"Hahh fuckk- Katsuki slow down!" you moaned as he starts thrusting his hard cock in and out of you like it was his mission to bruise and mark up your silky walls with his tip, strong hands gripping onto your waist as he stretches out your poor cunt with his fat girth, splitting that pretty little cunny in half as it drips all over him. "Holy fuckk you're so fucking tight hah- shitt" he hisses as your pussy clenches around him snugly, tightest cunt he ever fucked for sure.
He started pounding you harder, gripping the oversized T-shirt you wore as he rammed himself in the tight warm space between your thighs.
"Stupid little slut, is this what you need to shut that annoying little mouth of yours, my dick pounding this little pussy?" he took a mental note to give you exactly what you wanted when you're acting up and being a little bitchy brat to him. "Sh-ut up katsu-" shit you couldn't even form proper words to even say his fucking name, "You're the fucking worse fuh-ckk" you moaned out of pleasure. You can't even lie his cock was the best you've ever had and it's only been minutes since he started fucking you so that surely says a lot, his tip was grazing against the right spots in your hole, it's like his dick knew all the parts in cunt that would make your eyes roll to the back of your head and he was stretching your stuffy cunt with his cock soo good, it turnt you into a moaning mess.
"Oh yeah I know my cock is good you little slut, Gonna fuck you so stupid with it, you won't ever think about another guy's dick other than your stepbrother's" he smirks as he lands a hard slap on your ripped ass, watching the way the thick flesh jiggles against him, bouncing back against his pelvis as he drills himself so fucking deep inside of you. You're his little glory hole, he can stuff you full and deep of his seed and use your tight pussy for hours and fuck you so dumb that you can't even think for the rest of the week if he wants to.
He circles his thumb over your neglected butthole, the puckered hole fluttering against the pad of his thumb as he notices the way your moans got sweeter and louder at the gesture. He won't be surprised if you're a slut for anal he snooped through your room a shit ton of times looking for your dirty cum-stained panties he uses to jerk off to, to know that you have several jeweled anal plugs hidden away in your drawer.
"Mmm want me to put it in baby?" he teases, adoring the way the pink ring flutters on his thumb, soo eager and hungry to be stuffed and played with, "Ye-yes pleasee!" you hiccupped, purposely winking your hole for him desperately as a form of inviting him. "Heh, how cute" he mumbled before gathering your slick from your clit to rub it on the tiny rim before slowly sinking it in little by little. He groaned as he felt your cunt throbbing around his cock as your hungry asshole swallows his thumb into the hilt.
Heavy balls slapping against your clit as your eyes roll back to the back of your head as if you were possessed or something- or maybe you were, possessed by his fucking cock hitting your favorite spots in your hole that had you seeing stars. His cock was so fucking good, mushroom tip kissing your cervix with every single one of his mean thrusts. "Fuck wish I could play with those pretty tits" he groans, head falling back as he moans, your cunt felt like fucking heaven, so warm and tight just for him.
"Kat-Katsuki m' so close" you moaned as you felt the familiar feeling in your stomach building up, "Yeah? That fast? My cock is that good huh?".
You let out a porn star-worthy moan when you felt his thick thumb sliding in and out of your tight bullied walls, matching the rough brutal pace of the pounding he was giving your poor pussy. He lifts up one of his legs and plants his feet flat on the floor so he can drill deeper into your cunt, "Fuckk yes daddy- don't stop fuck! Please don't stop" you cried out as you felt yourself approaching your release.
He chuckled mockingly, "Daddy huh? You're such a fucking dirty whore ya know that?" he slapped your ass so fucking hard that his handprint was definitely branded on your ass cheek, "Didn't know my dear little stepsis was such a cock-hungry slut, what'd ya think mom would say if she found out her innocent daughter was milking her stepbrother's cock and calling him daddy hm? Always knew you were a whore" he smirks as you whimpered and dripped to his mean words.
He pulled his thumb out of your butthole slowly and then groaned when he saw the delicious little gape he created. He brought his thumb up to his mouth before sucking it, gathering spit onto the finger then circling it around the gaped hole.
"Fuckk would you look at that, she's all prepped and ready for my cock, maybe after I'm done stuffing your cunt, I'll fill this one up too, bet you'll fucking like that", you felt his cock throbbing like crazy in your pussy as he imagined stuffing both of holes with his bitter cum and having you all plugged up n pretty with his seed deep in your asshole and the only thing keeping it in is the princess plug you have hidden away in your drawer- buried deep inside your ass.
You almost screamed when you felt him stabbing his cock into your cunt even harder, strong hands gripping your waist tightly to keep you still as he rams his hips against yours. The friction of his heavy balls slapping your clit made it feel even better as your cunt clenches around his cock, threatening to milk his balls into your pussy. You're not surprised that Bakugou was this good at fucking, after all, he was really fucking sexy and built, of course he had a lot of experience. You cried out when you felt his fingers rubbing harsh harsh circles on your clit, "Come on slut, need ya to cum on my cock, don't make me repeat myself" he grunts, head falling back when he feels your cunny squeezing around his cock soo much fucking tighter. You closed your eyes as you felt your orgasm approaching. His thrust was so fucking brutal, it's like he has some fucking personal problem and is taking it out on your poor cunt.
Before you could process anything else, you were gushing all over his pretty cock, warm liquid squirting all over his abs and pelvis and he continues pounding you through it, he lets out a slurpy moan while laughing, "Fuckk yeah that's it baby that's it, Gooddd girl" he thrusts got sloppier and sloppier when he felt his balls tightening. He didn't expect you to fucking squirt and make a mess all over him so it drove him fucking crazy.
You felt his cock twisting against your tight walls, assuming he was about to cum. Fuck, you felt so lifeless. The only thing holding you up was Katsuki's strong grip on your waist and the washing machine because you can't even think right now, your mind fully fucking clouded with his cock bullying your poor insides, splitting your sweet cunny apart. Fuck he's so mean, you shivered when you felt his fingers digging deep into your waist.
"Fuck m'gonna cum, gonna stuff this slutty cunt so full of my seed, it'll come right out your mouth bitch" he hisses before emptying his balls in your pussy, thick ropes of cum filling up your cumdump of a hole as you cried out when you felt his angry tip pushing the cum further and further into your cunny, making sure to stuff you full and not let any of it leak out or you'd have to lick it up.
He chuckles darkly when he hears you're out of breath whimpers. "Is this what you needed? A good little filling to shut that pretty mouth of yours? Because if it's dick you need to function properly you know where to find me baby" he chuckles, slowly pulling out his still-hard cock, being sooo careful that none of the cum drips out. He lines his tip up at the entrance of your butthole, smearing the cum onto the hole as it winks at him.
"Ready for the other filling?"
3K notes · View notes
notquitecanon · 5 months ago
Text
Keep talking // Simon “Ghost” Riley x reader
Summary: Simon really likes your new sundress AND wants to hear about your day. These things can coexist
Tags: established relationship, pretty domestic, yapper wife x silent husband, sunshine x grumpy kinda??? Whatever tropes the kids are saying these days suggestive but not NSFT, dumbification if you really squint, husband Simon Riley, pg-13 at worst
Tumblr media
Simon was staring at you. Intensely. Him staring wasn’t exactly a new thing, he was a silent creature by nature. He watched, he listened. Especially to you. He loved listening to you.
You’d barely noticed his intense gaze as you flitted about the kitchen of your shared home, putting away the things you’d bought while you’d been out, all the while chittering on about your day, the people you talked to, the things you’d seen, things you’d bought, things you’d almost bought, things you didn’t buy, what you had for lunch, what you were thinking for dinner… And Simon listened like always, absorbing your presence like a plant absorbs sunlight.
Anyone else would have been cowed under the weight of his stare, but not you. Not only were you used to it, you loved having his attention. Every now and then you’d offer him a sweet smile when you looked to him or press a kiss to his cheek or jaw or wherever you could reach easiest as you’d squeeze past where he was leaning against the kitchen counter, absolutely dwarfing the appliances. His face gave away nothing, it never did so you kept talking- yapping, you’d call it jokingly.
“Anyways, that’s when I told her-“
“New dress, love?”
His interruption cut you off. You set down the purse you were unpacking and looked to him as you trailed off.
“Hm?”
Simon kicked off the counter, closing the short distance. It was then you noticed that his eyes weren’t on your face or eyes or even lips, but instead tracing the line of the strap laying on your shoulder.
“‘aven’t seen that one. Is it new?” His eyes roamed to the skirt where his fingers had caught a sliver of the bow in the back, “Soft.”
You cleared your throat as you turned around to face him, “I got it a few weeks ago, since it’s getting hotter, sun dress season and all, but it might be a little much for running around town…guess you haven’t seen it though-“
You cut yourself off again when you felt the tension in the tied back slack. The snapped your eyes to Simon, realizing he hadn’t dropped the bow’s string as you turned.
“I’d remember this one, lovie.” He was still gazing at the hem line appreciatively, where the delicate pattern you loved so much revealed your thighs.
“Well, then it’s new to you.” Your voice was quieter now that you’d realized the specific intensity in his gaze. Simon grunted in response, his large calloused hands resting at your hips. You could feel the roughness and warmth through the thin summer fabric.
“You were saying?” He reminded you with a slight smirk, knowing he’d derailed your train of thought. Cheeky bastard.
“Oh, uh,” You started again, preoccupied with the little circles he was rubbing on your hips, “I told her that, well, that-“
Simon nodded along to your barely coherent dialogue, as if he was listening to a TED talk. Heat was rising up your chest and neck as the solider kept getting closer until your chests were basically flush and your legs were interlocked, your chatting was only slightly better than babbling but you continued choking through your story. Even when he’d slowly moved you backwards so that you were the one pressed against the counter. You hadn’t realized you stopped once again until his brows raised, “that all?”
“Si-“ You all but whined, sharply gasping when he suddenly and effortlessly lifted you unto the kitchen counter, the stone counter chilling the backs of your thighs. Even sat on the tall counters, you still only came up to his broad chest, “We have your friends coming later-“
“And I cleaned up the yard just like you asked, love. Wearing this dress tonight?” Simon questioned gruffly, brushing a kiss first across the top of your head and then leaning down to dust a trail of kisses down your neck.
“What? Probably- but” you stuttered, the heat of his breath making it hard to track the different tracks of conversation.
“Good, does this come in any other colors?” His questions almost fell on deaf ears as he brushed the straps off your shoulders so he could continue his path down your chest. The hands on your hips had traveled first to your knees and were slowly hiking the hemline of your dress up. He paused when you didn’t answer, cutting those sharp eyes up to yours, squeezing your thigh to get your focus back on him and not just his hands. You hummed in confusion, “colors, love?”
“Oh, uh, a couple I think,” you nodded as the squeeze to your thigh turned to a kneading moving further up, “I wanted to try one, but it was hard to decide-“
Simon was sinking to his knees in front of you, never breaking eye contact, “Keep talking, love. I’m listening.”
Simon was a hard man to say no to, so you kept talking. Jumping from thought to thought as they became fewer and farther between, a hand in his hair to ground yourself as he’d offer questions from between your legs until you could no longer say anything but his name.
___
I wrote this in 20 minutes on an airplane. It’s not proofread nor is it really in character. First time writing for COD but hopefully not the last… we shall see where the hyperfixation takes me
5K notes · View notes
chososdiscordkitten · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Synopsis: Reader asking to watch Choso jack off ^-^
Pairing: Switch!Choso x Fem!Reader Content: porn w/ feelings, established relationship, masturbation, spit, pussy job, riding, missionary, multiple orgasms (m), rough sex, cream pie
MDNI
You had developed an enjoyment of watching Choso. Watch him talk, watch him breathe—your eyes would always be glued onto him when he did anything. And that little glimmer in your eyes would go overlooked by him. 
You liked watching him reach into a high cupboard, the edge of his shirt revealing his hip in the slightest. Or when he would talk- most of the time, the words would be spoken, but your ears would hear them without registering in your mind. 
You would only pay attention to his expression- his eyebrows furrowing with a sudden severity in his tone. Or when his eyes would spark in the slightest when you would agree mindlessly to what he was saying. 
Usually, your face showed what you were thinking. Giving hints to what raced through your mind. And any hints your low eyes provided, or every half smirk that formed on your lips, Choso wouldn't acknowledge them.
Only Choso never could tell what you were thinking. Even if your expression should have told him all he needed to know. He never knew why you would look at him like that- or what it meant. 
And when he asked you; 
"Why do you look at me like that?" snapping you from the cloud of filth you would picture as he talked. 
You only replied with an earnest smile, "I just like lookin' at you." 
And Choso stayed with that idea- whenever he would see your gaze darken, he would remember what you said. Almost endearingly scanning the look on your face, as though your lowered eyes and lightly flushed skin meant that you were only looking. And nothing more. 
So when the topic of masturbation came up- something about how he only does it when he knows you're too tired or when he didn't want to bother you. You couldn't help but ask him, "Can I watch?" 
He looked off the side- furrowed eyebrows, unknowing why you'd want to watch him do such a menial thing- everyone does it, right? It's not some marvel and you gained no pleasure from it physically. But then he remembered what you told him. 
'I just like looking at you.'
A few days had passed since that conversation- too embarrassed to tell you when he would do it- and ask if you wanted to watch. It almost felt like he was admitting that he wanted you to watch. Even if you were the one who told Choso you wanted to- coming to you and saying the words. It felt too filthy- even for him. 
You had been catching up on school assignments for most of that day. Sitting on the couch of your shared apartment with a furrowed brow. Unaware of what Choso was concocting in his mind as you read through the work. 
He had been working up the courage to ask you since the morning, along with thinking up a way to say the actual words. He mostly looked at you with sad puppy eyes, hoping you would look at him and know what he wanted. 
All but begging for you to read his mind, just so he wouldn't have to say it. 
Slowly walking past you with his eyes locked onto your expression, hoping you would look up and see the pleading look he held. 
And when he sat on the other end of the couch, the ache in his sweats was too unbearable to continue waiting for you to pay heed to what he wanted. 
Your focused gaze unmoved from the words splayed onto your screen, he called your name. Barely considered a whisper and with a sprinkle of a whiny tone- as though it was your fault he couldn't admit what he wanted. 
Looking up from your screen- "Yes?" you spoke. Your tone was far too kind and tolerant for what he was about to ask of you. 
"You remember when you." he looked away from your gaze, "When you asked if you could watch-" you raised your eyebrows- eager to hear how he would phrase it. "If you could watch, me." Bells ringing in your brain as he spoke.
"Watch you?" you asked- playing coy to what Choso tried insinuating. Looking down at your screen again and hearing a light sigh as he shifted on the other end of the couch. 
Choso clenched his teeth- already flustered from what he was expected to say. "...Jack off?" he mumbled, facing away from you in shame. 
You flashed your eyes back to him, seeing his ears flushed with a light blush. "Yes, I remember." You closed the screen of your computer, lightly tilting your head and awaiting his response. 
"I was about to-" 
You couldn't help the light grin that rose on your lips. "You want me to watch you?" spoken with a hint of tease as Choso tensed his shoulders at the words. 
Still looking away from you- lightly nodding his head up and down. "I wanna hear you say it." You tapped him lightly with your foot- urging him to hurry. 
"I would like you to watch me—" he inhaled, "Jack off." He turned over to you. You, holding the very same expression that would look back at him when he spoke most times. 
And as you instructed him to go on as he normally would- "Pay me no mind." you grinned. Taking his shirt off before he eased onto his side of the bed, avoidant eyes and nerves spasming in his sweats. 
Choso sat up halfway, his shoulders flush against the wall, his legs extended, hands planted on either side of his hips as he looked at you. 
You sat at the foot of the bed, legs crisscrossed and waiting for him to start. Soaking in the sight of him- carved torso and blushy expression on his face. 
As Choso flashed his eyes to yours- some kind of way of asking if he could start. You only raised your eyebrows, urging him to go on. He lightly gulped, placing his hands on the band of his sweats. 
Lightly wincing when he pulled his firm cock from them- bordering on a purple hue on his tip, clear tears of his precum falling from his neglected cockhead, and his shaft lightly twitching against the sudden hit of air. 
It looked pained, and based on his expression- bordering on dizzy as he took a few breaths in, he had been this way for a while. "Were you like this the whole time?" you muttered, watching his head lightly nod. 
"Didn't know how to ask you." he spoke softly, tone bordering on a whimper and placing a hand onto his base. Tingles forming on his cheeks and falling down his broad shoulders. 
You watched with intense eyes- his lips parting in a soft sigh as he slowly stroked himself. Choso's grip was light- some attempt to not cum as soon as he started. His body buzzed with shivers of exhilaration and timidity.
Soft sighs took the shape of low moans as your eyes made work of blinking down to his pretty cock. 
Surrounded by his hand and stroking lightly. Building himself up as his eyes closed, looking at the curve of his neck. The adams apple in his throat bobbing with every light breath he took. Tipping his head back onto the wall with parted lips. 
"You don't watch anything?" eyes filled with amazement, and your panties starting to soil as you watched his hand take on a tighter grip. Choso nodded his head 'no'- a little sigh leaving his lips with the upturn of a whimper. 
Choso's chest lightly caved with an exhale, "I jus' think about you." he muttered, words he spoke without filter. Your cunt spasming at the declaration, making you consider forgetting this idea of just watching- wanting to give him more than your gaze in gratitude. 
But the sound of a choked whimper leaving his throat snapped you from that thought- his hand taking on a slightly faster pace as his other fisted the sheets. Watching his hand smear beads of precum down his shaft and back up again. 
You leaned over in the slightest- watching his hand start to lose its easy glide when he began. Somewhere in Choso's mind, he had thought you abandoned the idea of just watching as you tucked hair behind your ears. Looking down at his cock with a whimper, all but asking you to help him. 
Collecting as much saliva you could on your tongue, lightly bending over, and allowing a fat glob to slip from your lips. The ache between your thighs becoming more and more apparent with every passing second.
A light huff in the shape of your name left his throat- his hand taking a faster pace from the action. Choso's tummy clenched in the slightest as he felt the start of his orgasm pool, smearing your spit with his pre in urgency.
His eyes scanned your expression- the same one you held when he would speak, only this time, he knew why you were looking at him like that.
And the slight shame of how good it felt to have you watch him with that look in your eyes- having you spit on him- made it all the more easier for his eyes to close. Huffing your name as though it was you who was stroking him. 
Low eyes watching with your hands threatening to replace Choso's as his chest rose and fell in sync with his quick strokes. 
His lips hung open in a silent moan- abdomen spasming as his tip oozed pearly tears onto his tummy. His shoulders shivered as he continued his hand's strides, slower and with a lighter grasp. 
Working himself down from the orgasm that soiled his skin, the back of his hand falling onto the bed. Even if his breathing and expression seemed satisfied with one orgasm- his cock told you he wanted another. 
Hard and twitching against his abs. At that moment- you lost the idea of sitting on the sidelines and rose to your knees. Watching Choso's expression steady with every deep breath he took. Slipping off your panties and scooching closer to him. 
You planted one leg over his hip, hoovering directly above his laid cock and looking at his eyes blink up at you. The smile on your lips churning with intent as you placed your hands onto his shoulders.
Choso's made haste in landing on your upper thighs, delighted you abandoned the idea. 
Kneading the plush skin in his hands as you lowered your cunt onto his shaft, trapping his cock between his carved tummy and your cunt. A soft sigh leaving your lips at the contact. Using your own slick mixed with his spend and pre, you slowly slid back and forth on his shaft- soaking in the expression he wore at the stimulation. 
Leaning in with a soft whine and relishing the feeling of his lips against yours- slowly frotting your cunt back and forth against his cock. Similar to how he was stroking himself. But nowhere near as warm nor as slick as your core felt. 
Your puffy clit brushing against his tip with every grind your hips made. Huffing heavily as one of Choso's hands slid beneath the band of your hoodie. His touch searing against your skin. 
Your hands on his shoulders moving onto the side of his neck, bracing as your tongue slid against his. 
Messy and uncaring teeth clashing against each other, proving to you, that the absence of your cunt swallowing his cock, frustrated him far more than it did you. 
The hand on your thigh assisting in your slow glides, the one roaming beneath your hoodie cupping your breast. 
Fervor and urgency filling every moan Choso's lips rumbled onto yours- his hold on your hip tightening to guide you into a quicker pace. 
You pulled away from him, unable to withstand the heat boiling beneath your skin as your hands slipped off your hoodie. Tossing it aside, uncaring where it landed.
Choso's hand made contact with your breast again, a light groan leaving his lips as you connected your lips with his. His orgasm building again in his tummy. His grasp against your breast turning desperate- bordering on overstimulation as you slid against him. 
You pulled away from him, looking into his hazy eyes, and raised yourself forward. His cock following your cunt as you felt his twitchy tip brush against your entrance. You huffed a flushed smile- lowering yourself onto his cockhead with a shared whimper. 
Choso's hand trailing back down to your hip- whimpering at your walls sucking him in. Lips brushing against each other- not even trying to connect them, knowing it would be cut short as his tip nuzzled against your sweet spot.
And when his cock filled you to the hilt- you slowly started grinding. Ignoring the light sting from the stretch and watching his eyebrows knit, his lips parted in a drawn-out breath. 
The urge in Choso's hips was unable to be still, causing him to place his hands on your waist, holding you still as he started rutting up into you at a quicker speed. Your hands gripping the back of his head, lightly tugging on his hair as he thrusts into you without a pattern. 
You closed the little space held between your lips and his, callously slotting your tongue against his as he nudged into your sweet spot with every grind. 
Choso trailed his hands a little higher on your waist, guiding you to tip onto your side- rolling onto your back with Choso's knees bent on the bed. Leaving him atop you with your thighs beside his hips.
Slipping his sweats lower on his thighs as he pulled back from your cunt- sliding back into you as he desperately wanted to when he was beneath you. 
One strong hand on your thigh as he rolled his hips against you, moaning shamelessly into the air as the other planted onto your tummy with his thumb on your clit. Watching your face churn with small circles drawn against the sensitive bud. 
The crude slapping of his balls against your ass, breaking up the joined whimpers that left your lips and his.
Your back arching against the sheets as he thrusts into you- so desperate for just one more as his hand on your thigh hooked behind your knee and started applying pressure. 
Your pinned thigh gave his cock a better angle to mistreat your gspot with every rough thrust. Fever-filled eyes struggling to stay open with his hips taking on a furious pace- his lips mumbling words muffled by pretty whimpers. 
Choso's face was adorned with the lightest sheen of sweat on his airline, furrowed eyebrows, and clenched teeth as he had his way with you.
His thumb rubbed harsher circles- so fucking eager to finish together as your moans drew clearer. Threats that he was close spoken in broken mutters- a breathy string of moans leaving your lips in response. 
Air being knocked from your lungs with every mean thrust against your thighs- and with one guttural groan leaving his clenched teeth, Choso spilled his thick seed into your cunt. 
His movements with his thumb refused to stop as the fulfillment of his spend pushed you over the edge.
Walls twitching around him as he slowed his thrusts, fucking his seed further into your as your breathing steadied. Choso's tired eyes looked down at you with a heaving chest- his back unable to keep his posture as he eased himself down onto you. 
Pressing his ear against your collarbone and easing his hold on your leg. Allowing your thighs to press against his hips, arms instinctively thralling over his shoulders, a sigh laced with a moan leaving his lips. 
Choso's softening cock twitched inside of you with every after-orgasm tremble that shook in his shoulders. 
"So much," he huffed heavily, swallowing lightly. "-for just watching." he smiled, closing his eyes against your chest and feeling a half laugh rumble against his profile. 
The realization of that expression you held while looking at him most of the time— meant pure filth. He hazily thought back to every time you looked at him with bedroom eyes and smiled to himself. 
-
(a.n) tarde pero sin sueno, start of Choso week hehe
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
pbandnoj · 3 months ago
Text
PartnerToji who had never regretted his vasectomy… until you came along. Having it done was great, sure he didn’t like someone being all up in his business but it was affective. To him Megumi was more than enough, actually he could barely handle the kid. Plus it was easy to mess around and not have to worry about rubber or a scary missing period text.
Oh but sometimes, sometimes you made him question it. You had been together a few years, gotten accustomed to Megs, who sometime even preferred you over his dad, teaming up with you against him. And Toji knew you’d be a permanent thing ever since he cut off all his women he used to visit, and started working a real respectable job.
And the fantasies that filled his head when he looked at you were enough to fill a whole book series, you had made him consider having a second kid… but wait that’s right, he can’t have one. Every time you bent over, wear something even partially revealing, or hell when you took especially good care of Megumi he knew he wanted to make you a real mom, even if you did convince him you were fine with just Megs.
The idea of seeing you all round and plump, with his baby inside of you, god it made him rock solid. And you felt his wrath in the bedroom. He was making you work double time. Wishing, praying somehow, his sperm could make it past the little procedure, yet it never happened.
One day you got home from wherever you went, Toji didn’t pay much attention when you were telling him. Slipping your shoes off and walking up to see him on the couch, Megumi sitting on the floor fiddling with a new toy train he got, but it was odd… the tv wasn’t on. And he was on his phone? Honestly you couldn’t remember the last time he even spent more than a few minutes on it, that being pretty much only to text you or email his boss.
Slipping your arms around his shoulders from behind the couch as you looked down, “Watcha looking at Toj’?” You asked, only to have him grunt in response. A brow raised as you looked down catching a glimpse of what he was reading… a medical page? Was something wrong with him? Did something happen?
“Baby what’s wrong?” You cooed out as you softly ran your hand over his collarbone, he huffed shaking his head, “Nothin’” the one letter response making you roll your eyes. He huffed upon seeing the look on your face, “I’m looking at a reversal.”
A reversal? Reversal of what? “What’s that sweets?” You asked a raised brow, before he smirked, “I wanna be able to put a baby in ya.” Choking on your spit, removing your arms so you could quickly cough up a lung.
“What?” You half yelled, partially startling the quiet boy sitting on the floor. “My vasectomy doll,” You grumbled… so that’s what this was about? Why he’d been actin so weird.
“Toji,” you huffed out as you looked back at him, “You seriously wanna have to go back to using condoms just so you can put one baby in me?” You asked, a brow quirking up. A soft snicker leaving your lips before he cursed under his breath.
“Besides, I’d rather put my attention on Megumi right now,” You noted, causing Toji to nod. “Yeah besides my insurance ain’t gonna cover it and I’m not givin up what little luxury I have,” he huffed out, “See? You should stop worrying about it.”
And with that the vasectomy debacle was solved… at least for now. That man has crazy baby fever.
2K notes · View notes
0097linersb · 5 months ago
Text
𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 (m)
Tumblr media
Pairings: Wooyoung x Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 15k ~
Warnings: It´s a smut so +18 MDNI pls
Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3
Part 2
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
As someone who has been single for the past 2 years, you often found yourself missing certain things and feelings. It´s not even the dating in itself that you craved, you were in fact, very content with being alone, and after all your inner healing and growth, you didn´t even think you were ready for a relationship at this point in your life. But as you and Wooyoung were on your couch lazily spending the afternoon, you found your body and mind screaming for comfort at the sight of the rainy day outside. 
Your friend had his head on your lap as he played some online shooting game on his phone, the movie you intended on watching now only serving as background noise as you drifted off, hands absent-mindedly playing with the strands of his hair that fell on top of your thighs.  
Hand-holding. 
That´s something you really missed. The feeling of interlacing fingers with someone as warmness spread through your body. When you were dating, you weren´t even that into holding hands, uncomfortable with not being able to move freely or with the way your palm seemed to always feel clammy – But now? You would kill for a chance to walk around a park linked with someone.  
You also really missed being so familiar with someone that you just felt at ease, having a person there to do nothing or everything with, being able to talk or gossip about anything. You remember spamming Mingyu´s chat with every little thing that happened during your day and him just being genuinely happy to hear about it, replying to every single message in order. As your best friend, Wooyoung was someone you talked to a lot, but you still couldn´t text him about how you already drank 6 glasses of water or how you were annoyed because your stapler kept getting stuck – Those are the annoying little things you only get to share with a significant other that has the obligation to put up with you. 
And showering together. You almost felt dramatic tears fill your eyes at the thought of it; sharing the hot stream of water with someone, have them rub soap down your back or massage shampoo onto your scalp, or just simply holding someone in the dark under the running water as steam filled the room.  
Oh, and free massages. You definitely missed those, being able to ask for a massage at whatever given moment with the certainness that you would receive one. Mingyu´s love language had always been acts of service, meaning you wouldn´t spend a single day without his hands squeezing your shoulders or rubbing down your back.  
Maybe you should call Mingyu. Something along the lines of “hey, I know we broke up a few years ago but can you come like, hold me for a minute? Cuddle until we fall asleep?” 
You were so touch deprived you could cry. 
There was also the intimate part of a relationship; You had tried casual sex, one-night stands, friends with benefits, even a Tinder hook up once – It just wasn´t for you. It´s not even the sex on itself that you longed for, you could spend another few years without it if it came down to it. But you did miss what came with being intimate with someone who truly cared about you. When it comes to casual flings, people are normally selfish (yourself included), doing the bare minimum to get the other person off but truly aiming for their own pleasure; it was nice being with someone who´s main priority was making you feel good without the need of having the “favor returned”.  
What you really did miss though, was a bit cruder: You missed the feeling of someone´s dick in your mouth, the groans and whines that came with it, hands tangled in your hair, your tongue tracing hot veins as someone praised you. You missed having someone´s fingers inside of you, your walls tight around them as they pumped in and out of you with ease. You also really fucking missed someone eating you out. 
You subconsciously pulled a bit on Wooyoung´s hair out of frustration but he didn´t seem to notice, eyes fixated on his game. You gently pat his head where you had tugged on the strands and went back to playing with his hair, letting your mind take you away once again.  
Again, it´s not like your relationship with Mingyu ended badly, surely, he wouldn´t mind if you called him up to go down memory lane for a night- 
You had never noticed how plump Wooyoung´s lips were.  
He had a habit of pouting when he was focused, or biting on his lips when he was extra concentrated – which he was doing just now as he tried to shoot at someone who was trying to kill him. When he finally managed to take out the other player and escape, he let his bottom lip go, now all red and glistening as he cursed out loud. They just looked so soft and plushy, and the mole he had on his bottom lip –  
You suddenly realized you were kind of obsessed with Wooyoung´s nose shape. You know what people say about big noses… Also, how good would it feel bumping against - 
“You´re being way too nice. What´s going on?” Wooyoung´s voice suddenly interrupted your thoughts, causing you to jump in shock and realization that you were just thinking about your friend eating you out.  
“I am nice, just not to you,” You correct, meeting his eyes which were looking up as you noticed you were still running your fingers through his hair. 
“I have very strong opinions about that, but either way, it´s what I meant. Why are you being nice to me?” 
“Am I?” 
“I remember very clearly the last time I asked you to cuddle me, almost got down on my knees begging and you just looked at me like I had rolled around in the trash.”  
“You were quiet today, behaving like a normal person-” 
“Go on, call me a good boy. I know you want to,” He rolls his eyes. 
You laugh out loud at that; he did know you well. 
“Nah, you´ve ruined it the moment you opened your mouth.” 
“Guess I´m a bit further from perfect than I thought, getting there though. How was the movie anyways?” 
“Oh, did it end already?” You asked, finally looking at the TV and realizing the credits must have been rolling for a while. “Wasn´t paying attention.” 
“What were you even doing?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, a second away from calling you stupid. 
“Thinking.” 
“About?” 
“Calling Mingyu,” You half-lied. 
At that, he managed to furrow his eyebrows even more, the biggest judgmental face he had ever sported looking up at you, “Why? Are you suddenly into him again?” 
“No.” 
“Then why?” 
“I don´t know, just-” 
“Oh my god,” His eyes widened, and he covered his mouth in shock. “It´s a booty call.” 
“It´s that what people call it these days?”  You ask, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole ordeal. 
“Oh my god, so it is.” 
“I guess?” 
“Y/N, it´s been like 2 years. I know you´re hot and he´s a man but I think that conversation would be kind of weird. Were you planning on texting him a wanna come smash?” He questioned you as he sat up. “Do you even have his number?” 
“No, I - I don´t know. I-  Let´s change the subject.” 
“Let´s absolutely not.” 
“You´re being annoying.” 
“Aren´t I always?” 
“Yes, defin-” 
“If you´re horny, why don´t you text that last guy you were going out with? He was hot too.” 
“Ew, don´t use the word horny.” 
“Would you prefer I call you needy?” 
Maybe you would, yeah, very much. 
“No, ew. Just stop talking all-together.” 
“So, why don´t you text him?” 
“You know I can´t really enjoy it much when I´m not like, close to the person.” 
“So you thought of your ex,” he deadpanned. 
“Yeah.” 
“Has literally not even one of the guys you hooked up with gotten you off?” 
“I mean, some of them did. But I don´t want to just get off, I-I- I don´t even know what I want, can we please chan-” 
“You want to be treated like the little pillow princess you are, got it.” 
Did he have to say it like that? Suddenly you felt the pulse between your legs raising its intensity. Oh god no, you were absolutely not getting turned on by Wooyoung´s crude choice of words. 
Anyone but Wooyoung! 
“Who says I´m a pillow princess? Am not!” 
“Ah, please. You scream I´ll bring nothing to the table besides looking pretty.” 
“Is that how I come off as?” You gasped at that, feeling deeply offended. “You´re full of shit.” 
“Why are you even getting mad? There´s nothing wrong with that, I´m sure you´re really good at looking pretty under a guy.” 
“Please stop picturing someone else fucking me?” 
“Who says I´m picturing someone else?” He winked at you teasingly. 
You literally, in your over 20 years of life on this earth, have never - not even once - thought you would actually choke over someone´s words. This was Wooyoung, you were used to his ways, c´mon! 
“Yeah, let´s not do that.” 
“Awn, pretty princess got flustered,” He cooed at you. 
You knew he was just teasing you; you knew there was no real sexual intent behind his words because that was Wooyoung, he flirted and teased as naturally as he breathed - but they still got your thighs tensing and you hating yourself for it. Couldn´t you just take a joke for what it was? 
“Although now that I´m thinking about it, I wouldn´t be surprised if you turned out to be a brat in bed. You´re already the biggest one normally.” 
“Look who´s calling me a brat,” You rolled your eyes once again. It didn´t matter if he was right or wrong, Wooyoung had no right calling anyone that when he was the way he was.  
At that, he presented you with the most attractive smile you think would ever exist in the world, a mixture between cunning, excitement and condescending, “You think I´m bratty?” 
“Oh, I´m sure of it.” 
“Maybe I´m just good at matching energies, you know?” He winked, teasing you further. 
“Fuck off. I know San forced you on your knees more often than I´d like to imagine.” 
“Because I allowed him to.” 
You snorted, “Yeah. Sure thing, honey. Now let´s move along, please.” 
Except that, your mind decided to in fact, consider his words. Wooyoung liked teasing and annoying people for his own entertainment, he whined at you every time he didn´t get things his way and he was always playfully flirting with everyone - and you meant literally everyone. Because of that, you had always just kind of assumed (but never spared it many thoughts, thank God) that your best friend was just someone who like to be dominated when in relationships, or sexual encounters for the matter.  
But honestly, you could kind of see it differently after his comments. It was true he always had everyone wrapped around his fingers and somehow, he always managed to get things his way - Wasn´t that also some form of control? The lines were kind of blurred when it came to Jung Wooyoung, but that was kind of even more attractive to you.   
“Oh my god, you´re thinking about it,” Wooyoung teased.  
“You´re the one who started it!” 
“You don´t have to stress your pretty little head over it,” He smiled, his finger finding it´s place under your chin to tip your face in his direction playfully. “I can show you.” 
Oh, absolutely not. 
Your eyes fluttered shut for a millisecond at his words, your guard crumbling surprisingly fast as you practically whimpered, “I know you´re joking but can we please not?” 
“Why?” 
 Couldn´t he stop giving you that annoying freaking smile? 
“Because I am kind of horny and I really don´t want to go there,” You practically growled.  
Now he was the one who broke character, not expecting you to be actually affected by his jokes, before the teasing smile was back on his face in a heartbeat - but you saw it. 
“Did I make you horny?” He teased. 
“Of course not, I was already horny before. I´m just in a weird mood.” 
It wasn´t necessarily a lie. If you weren´t already feeling some type of way since earlier, you would have never - and you really mean that - caught yourself thinking about Wooyoung´s stupid plump lips or if he could actually fuck you.  
“So, you were thinking about getting dicked down while I was here innocently lying down on your lap? You´re dirty,” He snickered. 
“It wasn´t weird until you made it weird,” You groaned in frustration. This is really not how you imagined your afternoon would go down.  
“Want me to help you out?” 
“Got any hot friends who are also not my friends?” 
“I do,” He nodded with his head. “But I´m also right here.” 
Your eyes almost flew out of your head. You always judged yourself as the only person immune to Wooyoung's weirdness, deeming that nothing the man did or say would ever surprise you since you basically were the same - but you now guessed the tests became harder as the years passed.  
“I can´t really tell if you´re joking-“ 
“I am absolutely not.” 
“Yeah, not going to happen.” 
“Why?” 
“Because!” 
“I know you can use your big girl words.” 
“Because as much as it pains me to admit it, we´re best friends. I guess?” 
“Now you´re the one who´s making it weird. You´re hot, I´m hot. You´re horny, now I´m horny. What´s wrong with helping each other out?” 
“What´s wrong is that I never really saw you like that!” You whined. 
“But you´re seeing now.” 
“Yeah, and I don´t like it!” 
“Tell me,” He raised an eyebrow at you, a devilish glint on his eyes matching his smile once again.  
“What?” 
“What you imagined me doing to you.” 
“Oh my god. Nothing!” 
“Oh c´mon, I won´t think you´re in love with me or anything. I know we´re friends and I´m a man, if there is one thing I can understand is simple plain old horniness.”  
“How is this so easy for you?” 
“Oh, I already imagined fucking you many times. In many different ways, too,” Wooyoung stated so casually, like he was talking about his shopping list for when he went to the supermarket later. “You know that one time at Seonghwa´s pool when you were wearing that little orange bikini? I must have made up at least 4 different scenarios, just that day.” 
“I feel kind of violated?”  
You also felt the way something throbbed in between your legs at his words but he didn´t need to know that. 
“As I said: I´m a man, Y/N. I love you and would never do anything to make you uncomfortable or fuck up our friendship, but there´s nothing wrong with fantasizing. It´s not like I actively decide to do it either, it just happens, I don´t know.” 
“Do you just casually think about fucking all your friends?” 
“No, only the hot ones. And it´s not something I keep thinking about all the time, I´m not a creep. Just once every blue moon hormone takes over or something. Also, you´re a fool if you think any of your other friends who are into women have never, not even once, thought about fucking you.”  
“Yeah, I´d rather be a fool,” You rolled your eyes. “Also, San hasn´t!” 
“San would quit his dream job in a heartbeat if I called him over for a threesome right now.” 
“Yunho then! He would never -” 
Wooyoung laughed at that, “Honey, I have something to tell you-“ 
“Please don´t.” 
“Anyways, you´re not lacking options to help you out. All I´m saying is that I´m here and I´d be more than glad to be the one,” He had the audacity of winking at you. “Since you were already thinking about it.” 
“I´m begging you to please drop it.” 
“Only if you tell me what you were thinking about.” 
“Oh my god! You know what? Let´s play your stupid fucking game, Jung Wooyoung. I´ll tell you if you tell me first.” 
“So, you do know how to have fun,” Wooyoung gave you a big smile, his eyes disappearing in happiness as if you had just told him you got him a new car. “What do you want to know?” 
“About the day at Seonghwa´s pool.” 
“Fun. I will use your own words then: I was in a weird mood that day and then you just took your clothes off and looked so good in that bikini. You were sunbathing and at some point in the afternoon you went inside Hwa´s house to get something from the kitchen and my brain just kept flashing images in my head: what if I followed you into the empty house, pushed you against the nearest wall and fucked you, watching as you tried to keep quiet so the others wouldn´t hear from right outside? Your cheek red from rubbing against the wall, your -” 
“That´s scenario number one.” 
“You want all of them? Kinky.” 
“I can just go-“ 
“Calm down, princess. See? I knew you were a brat.” 
“Wooyo-“ 
“Later when I was sitting down on the sunbathing chair with you while you were helping me out with the sunscreen, I noticed how my hand was so close I could pull the bottom of your bikini to the side and just slip my fingers in, right there in the open, no one would even notice. I wondered if you were already going to be wet and how you would sound trying to keep your noises inside with my knuckles deep into you. I couldn´t imagine a better sight than you all pretty clenching around my fingers or how you would look trying to casually spread your legs for me without anyone suspecting. I even went as far as imagining us getting caught, can you picture Mingi noticing what a little slut you are and trying to watch without getting caught himself? Poor boy wouldn´t know what to do with himself, would just loose his mind at how hot you´d look. I wondered if you´d like that he was watching –“ 
“That´s scenario number two,” You interrupted before the skin where you dug your nails into could start bleeding from your efforts to ground yourself and not squirm like an animal in heat at Wooyoung´s words. 
He was good, you had to give him that.  
Wooyoung laughed at you and you wondered if he had any clue about what he was doing to you. Then you mentally slapped yourself because of course he did, he had eyes.  
“When everyone went inside to make some drinks and start on dinner, you sat there on the edge of the pool and started kicking water at me. Remember that? I happened to notice the edge was just the perfect height for me to eat you out from the pool, and you even had your back to the door. We were all alone out there and even if someone came out, I would be hidden from their view in between your legs. I could picture my hands holding your thighs open and your back arching-” 
“Yeah, ok. That´s enough. I´m going to go, humm, shower or something and you can just like leave-” 
“Can I join?” He joked as you stood up. 
“No.” 
“Can I at least stay outside listening?” 
“What? I´m not going to mastu- Wooyoung, I´m just taking a cold shower.” 
“OK, go cool yourself off, princess. I´ll wait for you here,” He informed, unlocking his phone once again and showing you his screen where his game was loading. 
“Yeah, ok. Suit yourself.” 
“You really should let me listen as payback for getting me horny,” He screamed once you were already down the hallway. 
“You got yourself horny,” You screamed back before shutting the bathroom door behind yourself. 
You silently screamed against your hands as you let your body slide down the door. 
What the hell just happened? How many lines did you just cross?  
Why was Wooyoung suddenly so hot? 
And so, a cold shower you took and thankfully, after you left the bathroom, no one talked about the subject for the rest of the night and just pretended that nothing had happened. 
Except that now you were miserable and your mind echoed Wooyoung´s words every time you looked or thought about him. It was not optimal to be crossing your legs in the middle of class at university because you accidentally caught yourself staring at your friend´s veiny arms for half of the lecture. 
★  
“You´re still horny,” Wooyoung stated a few days later when you were literally getting ice cream after class. 
“And I´m actually mortified that you noticed.” 
“You´re being stubborn.” 
“We´re not fucking, Wooyoung.” 
“Dude, at this point I am genuinely feeling bad for you. We can ask Mingi or whoever, just please get some dick.” 
“You´re being kind of sexist-” 
“Y/N, you look constipated. I am worried for your sanity.” 
“Just shut up before I stop talking to you.” 
“I can use a blindfold or something if you´re worried about me seeing you naked-” 
“You´d like that, wouldn´t you? Submissive bitch.” 
“Don´t degrade me unless you mean it,” He winked at you. 
“You are actually insufferable.” 
“I´m just trying to help.” 
“You can´t because you don´t understand that this isn´t just about getting some dick!” 
“So what is this about? You tense every time my hands get near you -” 
“Wooyoung, this is an ice cream parlor. There are kids around, just shut the fuck up.” 
“So let´s go to my place.” 
“I´m not getting inside any closed spaces with you unless there are more people around.” 
“Kinky.” 
“Oh my god, you know what I mean.” 
“I know, just let me tease you. Ok, but seriously now, I think that in order for me to do my duties as a best friend, I need to understand what´s going on.” 
“Since when do you care about your best friend duties? You once left me behind alone at a party to get fucked by Yeonjun or whatever you two-” 
“Allegedly.” 
“No, Wooyoung. Not allegedly, it was literally me that you dragged to a corner to inform you´d be going upstairs with Yeonjun-” 
“No one knows what happened in that room.” 
“Yeah, thank god.” 
“Ok, whatever. Let me help you, tell me what´s going on inside that little messed up brain of yours.” 
“Nop. I really would rather lock myself inside the industrial freezer in the back.” 
“Yeah? Then I´m texting Mingi to go to your place and give you the fuck of your life tonight-” 
“Wooyoung!” 
“Y/N!” 
“Just drop it.” 
“No! Do you actually miss Mingyu? Or dating? Do you want a boyfriend? Is that it?” 
“No,” You groaned, hitting your forehead against the table.  
“So?” 
“Just- I need alcohol if we´re going to talk about this.” 
“Ok, let´s go to-” 
“Wooyoung, it´s 2 in the afternoon.” 
And so, he let it go for the moment, but the next time he saw a single drop of alcohol near you, he sat down next to you and crossed his hands like he meant business, a pointed look on his face. 
★ 
“So?” 
“This is literally my first shot.” 
“Then take it.” 
“Fine,” You begrudgingly complied, and you hadn´t even placed your glass back down before Wooyoung was already pouring you more. Figuring you weren´t going to escape this conversation, you downed your second shot and sighed in defeat. 
“Now tell me why you aren´t getting your back blown out at this very moment.” 
“It´s really weird talking about sex with you.” 
“We talk about sex all the time.” 
“Yeah, about other people, not about me, or about you suddenly being willing to fuck me- “ 
“Not suddenly.” 
“Yeah, whatever. Pour me some more.” 
“That´s what I like to hear,” He smirked at you, eyes glinting as he filled your glass up.  
“Y/N looks miserable,” Mingi suddenly stated, dropping his body next to you on the couch coming from seemingly nowhere.  
“Doesn´t she?” Wooyoung agreed, giving you a pointed look as you punched Mingi for the out-of-pocket comment. 
“Where did you even come from?” You asked the tall man next to you, excited for a change of topic. 
“The kitchen,” He absentmindedly answered you, hand busy filling up the glasses in front of you before handing you one. “Take a shot with me.” 
And so you did, hissing at the burning sensation and taking deep breaths to not gag at the taste of tequila. 
“OK, why does it look like your house burned down?” The man turned his attention back to you after smashing the empty glass on the little center table in front of you. 
Damn it, Mingi. 
You didn´t even have the time to begin forming any kind of excuses before Wooyoung  answered for you in a heartbeat, “Little Y/N over here is horny.” 
“Jung Wooyoung!” You gasped at his choice of words, thorn between hiding behind your hands, punching the man and apologizing to Mingi. 
Mingi, in turn, was frozen in shock mid pouring himself another shot. And you meant that the man wasn´t even blinking, mouth open and hands stuck in the air holding the glass bottle which you took from him afraid he would break it. 
“See what you´ve done?” You sighed to Wooyoung, elbowing his ribs as you tried waving your hand in front of Mingi´s face for a reaction.  
“Wait, what?” Said man came back to life, his voice way higher than what you´re used to. 
“You heard it, man. She hasn´t been fucked right in ages-” 
“Wooyoung, you know what you said about wanting to keep up with your best friend´s duties?” You asked between gritted teeth, about ready to jump the man and rip all of his hair out. “This is really not it.” 
“But you´re hot!” Mingi seemed confused. 
“I told her that!” Wooyoung ignored you. “I even told her you´d volunteer to help her out-” 
“I so would-” 
“Shut the fuck up, you two! Wooyoung, I´m about a second away from blocking you on my phone and never seeing you again,” You were also as close to ripping your own hair out. “Yes I´m horny, the whole world doesn´t need to hear about it.”  
Mingi noticed the crazy look behind your eyes and rubbed your back in comfort, he too knew what Wooyoung could do to people when he decided to be annoying.  
“It´s ok, love. We´ve all been there,” Mingi assured you and his words did soothe you a bit.  
“It´s just – You guys don´t get it. It´s not about just sex. I know I could literally fuck anyone at this party if I wanted to, I´m not dense. I guess I just miss dating but I don´t really want to date anyone at the moment?” 
“So like a friends with benefits thing?” Wooyoung pressed. 
“No, that´s just fucking with a fancy title. I mean like, I miss being touched and hugged and pampered and – I don´t know.” 
“Every time I try to hug you, you freeze and glare at me!” Mingi pouted. 
“I´m just not a touchy person!” 
“I know! That´s why I´m not understanding what you want.” 
“Just forget it-” 
“I get it,” Wooyoung interrupted.  
“Do you?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“You want a boyfriend without the obligations and feelings involved with a relationship. I was right, you´re needy.” 
“Oh,” Apparently it made sense to Mingi too. 
“Ok, and with that, I excuse myself,” You say, already standing up to go find someone else to hang out with because you were definitely not ready for the rest of that conversation. 
★ 
“What are you doing here?” You asked in annoyance after opening the door to your place to a very content looking Wooyoung. 
"I came to be your boyfriend-not-boyfriend,” He smiled proudly. 
"We're not fucking, Wooyoung,” You managed to sigh and roll your eyes at the same time. "Which is exactly what I told you the other 50 times you suggested it." 
"Who said anything about fucking? I'm just here to force the touch-deprivation out of you. Now move, I brought snacks," He said as if he hadn't already pushed you out of the way about midway through his sentence.   
You sighed in defeat, accepting your peaceful quiet night was ruined - You hadn't even locked the door yet and Wooyoung was already sprawled on your couch organizing the snacks on your coffee table, making way more noise than necessary.  
"At least you brought my favorite," You noticed, arms crossed as you stood up next to the couch.  
"These are all your favorites," His eyes were even shining with the amount of pride he had for himself. 
"Says who?" 
"Says me." 
"You called Seonghwa, didn't you?" 
"Only about the chips." 
"Knew it." 
"It's not my fault you literally change your opinions every day." 
"Welcome to girlhood." 
"Now sit down and I'll put something on Netflix." 
"Wooyoung, why-" 
"Y/N, listen," It was his turn to sigh. "You helped me through a lot when everything happened with my grandpa and you were always there for me when shit went down, just let me help you this once however I can." 
"Ok, got it. Enough with the sentimental talk," You quickly obeyed. You didn't like serious Wooyoung.  
"Now, are we feeling Criminal Minds?" He asked once you were sitting next to him, remote in hand. 
"Sounds great." 
“Perfect,” Wooyoung agreed as he put on the show, quickly standing up to turn off the lights before sitting back down and opening his arms. “Come here.” 
“Uh, I would rather not.” 
“I don´t care, we´re doing this.” 
“I don´t think forcing me to cuddle you will help much-” 
“Do you want me to really force you? Because I can,” He raised his eyebrow at you, arms still hanging in the air. 
“I´m pretty sure I´m stronger than you-” 
“Oh my god, just shut up,” He groaned and rolled his eyes at the same time, bending his body forward so he could grab onto your waist and pull you against his chest.  
Ok, yeah. He was definitely stronger than you. 
“Can you not make it so difficult?” He asked once he noticed how stiff you were in between his legs. “Stretch your legs, relax.” 
You decided against reminding him that he was in fact forcing you to do this and obeyed, he was just trying to help after all and maybe he did have a point: Some human touch might help calm your mind down. Also, the quicker you played along, the sooner it would be over.  So, stretching your legs across the couch you did, letting your body relax against Wooyoung´s, who contently wrapped his arms around you as you both turned your attention towards the Tv.  
Well, that lasted for about 10 minutes before you started feeling the heat of your friend´s skin radiating and everything started making sense: Being held by someone you loved really was comforting. Huh, who would have guessed? 
You generally hated being touched by people but right now you kind of felt like a cat, wanting to rub your head on Wooyoung´s shirt and snuggle into his warmth.  
“Can I play with your hair or will you bite my hand of?”  
“You can try,” You answered, not wanting to admit he was right all along and that you would very much like more of whatever this was.  
You could practically feel the roll of his eyes at your threatening tone as he pulled your head like you were just one big barbie doll, so your right cheek would be rested against his chest, turning your body to the side so now your right shoulder kind of met his chest instead of your back.  
“Ouch, you could be gentler,” You complained, rubbing your forehead skin where his palm was planted seconds before.  
“When you deserve it,” He grunted, eyes fixed on the Tv.  
“That was not very let me help you of you.” 
It was easy to tell he bit back his comeback, simply taking a deep calming breath and burying his fingers in the hair behind your neck, gently rubbing the area – Maybe you would purr. Judging you now had the upper hand, you decided to in return wrap your own arms around his wait so you could get comfortable and Wooyoung  gave you a cocky victory smile. 
Damn it. 
The two of you went through the entire episode like that and you were so relaxed that when Wooyoung stood up to open the snacks and grab some wine, you didn´t even complain about how that was a bad idea, sharing some glasses while you watched the second and third episodes and he tossed you around into every cuddling position you never even knew existed, discussing who you though were the killers and all the little gossips of the week. 
“You could create like a cuddling Kama Sutra,” You joked, kind of dizzy because of the drink – or because you had an incredibly attractive man holding you for the past 2 hours or so.  
“Will you quit complaining about my touchy personality now?” He smiled. 
“Nah, this was a one-time thing.” 
“Are you at least feeling a bit better?” Wooyoung asked, adjusting himself on the couch to look at you since you were now sitting side to side after the last episode ended.  
“Yes, actually.” 
It was true, you were no longer feeling like you could rip your entire skin off if you went through another second of someone not touching you.  
“I have one last move prepared,” He informed excitedly. 
“We´re not fucki-” 
“Oh my god, will you quit it with the fucking thing? If you keep bringing It up I might start thinking you´re interested-” 
“What was the idea?” You quickly asked, trying to cut the flirting off before it could lead your brain somewhere you spent the entire night not wanting to go.  
“Let me give you a massage.” 
“Wow, you´re really invested in this helping me thing.”  
“Contrary to your big mouth, I am a good friend. Sit down right here,” Wooyoung ordered, opening his legs and pointing to the space on the floor in between his feet. “Tonight I´ll take the neediness out of you the best I can since you refuse to go out and get some dick.” 
You rolled your eyes and ignored his remark, sitting down where he showed you and waiting silently as he gently gathered your hair and moved it out of the way. You cursed at how your skin erupted in goosebumps as his fingertips brushed against the side of your neck, your breath suddenly caught in your chest. 
You followed the realization that this was probably a horrible idea with another glass of wine, thankful he couldn't feel your heart beating fast.  
Wooyoung worked his thumbs in circles, digging them between your scapulae and pressing them up until they reached your shoulders, which he squeezed in the perfect strength to get shivers running up your spine every minute as he repeated the motion over and over.  
“How are you so good at this?” You whined, hating how your body was reaction to the touches. 
“There´s really nothing I´m not good at.” 
“Humbleness,” You offered. 
“That was a cliché answer, you can do better than that.” 
“I don´t care, just please never stop.” 
“I get that a lot.” 
“Do you really need to make everything sexual?” 
“I´ve always been that way, it´s not my fault that now that you´re horny it´s bothering you.” 
You hated when he put it like that, because yes. 
And maybe the way he sometimes would squeeze your neck during the massage or just the fact that he was touching you, were getting you feeling some type of way you would rather he did not notice.  
“If you were a girl, you´d understand,” You groaned. “Ovulation sucks.” 
“You actually just gave yourself the perfect solution, why don´t you fuck a girl?” 
´Cause what I really want is fucking you. 
Oh, wow.  
Where did that come from? 
“Speaking of which, do you even know how to?” You ask, admittedly kind of shy of asking such question.  
“Know how to what?” 
“Like, have- you like- With women?” You try, motioning widely towards the couch with your hands as if it would help you get your point across so you wouldn´t have to say the words. 
Wooyoung seemed to get it though, hands suddenly stopping on your back so you would look at him, “Y/N, you do know I have fucked women, right?” 
“How would I? You never told me!” You whine. 
“I thought it would be disrespectful?” 
“But when you told me how much you loved choking on San´s dick it wasn´t?” 
“Well, no-” 
“Or when you literally shared about how you thought about your fingers inside of me?” 
“You asked for it!” 
“I don´t believe you,” You narrowed your eyes towards him. “There´s no way I wouldn´t have known.” 
“Do you want like a list or something?” 
“What? No! That would be disrespectful.” 
“See?” 
“Ok, no, wait. Just tell me this: Lauren?” 
“Yes.” 
“Wooyoung, nooooo!” You whined. 
“What? She´s hot!” He was exasperated. 
“Oh my god, everything makes so much sense now.” 
“Wait, did you really think I was gay? We´ve know each other for years! I talk about women all the time!” 
“Yeah, but I thought you talked about women like Kevin talks about Beyoncé! Like in a slayy pussy  queennn way, not in a I´d want to fuck her way.”  
“Would you like me to go around harassing women?” 
“No, listen: I didn´t think you were gay, I just kind of never thought about it?” 
"You though I was just joking around with you the other day and you still got all hot and bothered?" Would he quit teasing you? "Kinky." 
“I thought you were playing and I didn't get any way!" 
“Whatever you say, princess - Wait, why did you think Ali was always hanging around my neck all these months?” 
“I just thought she was kind of crazy – Wait, did you fuck her that good? She wouldn´t leave us alone for a second, it was driving me insane." 
“I just told you there´s nothing I´m not good at,” He winked at you with a cocky smile on his face. 
You wanted to die.  
“Wooyoung,” You warned. 
“Awn, am I getting to you?” His tone was so sarcastic and condescending that a fire burned inside of you that you were afraid was never going out.  
“It´s the wine,” You assured, more yourself than him. 
“It´s always something.” 
“See? That´s why I told you I didn´t want to be alone with you.” 
“Afraid you´ll jump me?” He mocked. “I´m not scared.” 
"Just shut up. If whatever you're saying is true, I just want you to know you have the worst taste in women ever." 
"Well, considering I would love to taste you more than I would anyone else, I agree," He played with your words.  
“Go wash the glasses,” You ordered, the skin under your cheeks burning.  
“Yes, ma’am,” He answered with a laugh, immediately standing up and following along.  
When you were alone in the living room, your face fell between your hands in despair. 
You fucking hated Jung Wooyoung and his fucking giant noise. 
★  
Stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung.  
Fucking hell.  
Cursed be the day that man was born and cursed be the hospital and the doctors and the nurses and everyone in the world for all you cared. 
Your entire body was filled with rage as you opened the stupid coffee maker to pour the water into the compartment – which you had of course forgotten to fill 10 minutes earlier and almost burnt the whole office down. How would you explain to your boss that you started a fire because your brain was simply too busy flashing images of you sitting on your stupid annoying best friend´s face for the past 4 hours? 
It has been 2 days since the day at your place, 2 nights since you've gotten a decent night of sleep. "Why is that?" One would ask. Well, the answer would be that your useless brain decided to sabotage you, having you dream about your best friend over and over again – Which wouldn't be so bad if 90% of the dreams didn't consist of you ridding said best friend's face, waking up sweating and wanting to scream. 
At this point you just wanted to break Wooyoung's nose with a punch, so you'd never have to think about it again. After almost ripping your hair out in front of your computer, you decided on texting Hoshi for Mingyu's number - That's how desperate you were to get stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung out of your head. At least your friend assured that your ex was indeed single now and still didn't hate you, which was enough for you.  
Not really knowing how to tell your ex-boyfriend, after so much time has passed, that you just wanted him to throw you around, things weren't going as fast as planned and you couldn't keep avoiding Wooyoung forever – One, because he has no sense of boundaries and would just show up at your place if you ignored him and two, you really didn't want to have the conversation that would go down when he found out why you weren't around.  
It'd been over a week since you last saw Wooyoung in person, you were still in the talking stages with Mingyu, dreaming about your friend every fucking night and staring at his picture on the chatting app for hours while wanting to die. Now, you kind of genuinely didn't care anymore, Mingi and Wooyoung were right, maybe this was just about getting some dick – and you would find out if one could die of horniness if you didn't get some soon.  
It was Saturday night, Hongjoong decided to throw a small party at his place to celebrate his birthday and you figured alcohol was a good solution since stabbing a knife into your brain wasn't an option. You even invited Mingyu, hoping in person and after a few drinks you'd figure how to ask him to bend you over – The man said he would be pretty late because of previous scheduled commitments but that he would go. Your ex was an incredibly attractive man who knew his way around a lady, maybe you would see all your problems flying away after tonight. 
Except that after your first cup and some chatting with Mingi and Seonghwa on Hongjoong's couch, Wooyoung decided to arrive.  
You took one (1) - ONE, UNO - look at the man and grabbed your phone, shooting Mingyu a text: don´t come, party´s canceled. 
“Bro, your hair looks sick!” Mingi shouted before your brain could even begin to process what you were seeing. 
You were the one actually about to be sick. 
“Decided to try something new,” Wooyoung smirked, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you. 
You simply stared at him dumbfounded, glad he was too busy stealing the drink from your hands to notice your mouth wide open.  
Jung Wooyoung just showed up to the party with the bottom part and the front strands of his hair dyed blonde and you weren´t sure what kind of look that even was but you felt like it genuinely changed your whole life. You were pretty sure you got goosebumps when you first looked at him, lucky you were sitting down with the way your legs got weak. 
“What do you think about it?” He asked you after he was content with finishing what was left in your cup. 
“I hate it.” 
Well, you weren´t lying. Your nails were literally digging into the palm of your hands to try and get your head back in place - The new look made his skin look tanner, the mole under his eye darker, the shape of his nose - 
 The way he pushed his hair back, blonde strands surrounding his face - 
No, nop. 
No. 
“Since I know you´re joking, I´m gonna go say hi to Hongjoong and grab us more drinks so we can get this party started.” 
You let him go with absolutely no fight, eyes wide and glued to his form until he was out of your sight as Seonghwa led him to where the birthday boy was supposed to be. 
“Are you ok?” Mingi asked, noticing the crazy look on your face. 
“I need Wooyoung to fuck me.” 
Your brain definitely was short-circuiting. 
“Oh. Wow. Ok.” 
“I´m being serious. And I´m not happy about it.” 
“Hasn´t he been offering for like weeks now?” 
“Yeah.” 
“So just go and tell him.” 
“That´s not how it works.” 
“Oh my god, why do you have to be so complicated?” 
“I need him to offer again so I can say no, then when he insists, I will give in and pretend I´m kind of thorn about it.” 
“And why is that?” 
“So he doesn´t know he won! And I don´t like being vulnerable or whatever.” 
“I know we said you need some dick, but maybe you just need some therapy.” 
“Yeah, that too, but what I really need right now is your help.” 
“Sure,” Mingi shrugged. That´s what you liked about him, things were simple with him. 
“I need him to think I´m horny.” 
“You are horny.” 
“Yeah, but I need him to see it so he will joke about helping me out again.” 
“And how are you going to do that?” 
“Well, I could stand here with a bitch face all night, but it´s Joong´s birthday so I don´t really want to be like that. I don´t really have any other ideas-” 
“Touch me.” 
“What?” 
“Like, be touchy with me.” 
“Oh, that could work.” 
“That will definitely work.” 
“You´re good,” You complimented. 
“You should come to me for help more often.” 
“Don´t push it.” 
“Fine.” 
“You´re invested, huh?” 
“Move closer,” He ordered and you obeyed, sitting sideways on the couch so you were turned towards him, left knee touching his thigh. “Lean forward and put your hand on my thigh.” 
Despite your body´s discontent, you did as told. 
“And don´t flinch when I touch you,” He warned.  
“I feel like a spy,” You joked. 
“All this because you can´t tell a guy you want to fuck,” He rolled his eyes. 
“C´mon, pretend you´re not enjoying this, I dare you.” 
“Touché.” 
When your friends came back with more people tagging along, the first thing you noticed was the way Wooyoung´s gaze traveled immediately to your hand on Mingi´s thighs.  
Ok, yeah, this could definitely work. 
“Here, princess,” He handed you your drink, which you grabbed with your free hand.  
“Thanks Wooyo,” You smiled at the man before turning your attention back to Mingi, not missing the way your friend squeezed his eyes at you.  
Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t say anything about it, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch as a circle naturally formed in the living room so everyone could play something, and the first choice was the 007 game. You went along with the plan, hitting Mingi´s thigh instead of your own, touching his arm when you had to laugh, not going stiff when his hand met the skin almost at the hem of your skirt. 
You know what? Mingi was actually really hot too, if this night didn´t end how you expected it to, you were so horny you were just about considering asking him to fuck you.  
Whenever you looked in Wooyoung´s direction, you could practically see the engines turning in his head. It was just a matter of time now and you were already feeling shaky with excitement, which you weren´t exactly thrilled about – But then you looked at him again with that stupid hair and that stupid nose and that stupid half-unbuttoned shirt and decided that to hell with your morals and ethics. 
Mingi apparently decided his role in the ploy wasn´t enough for him, since after an hour or so passed by and people started standing up to go after more drinks or socialize with other people, he waited for Wooyoung to approach before asking loud and clear, “So, any luck with the getting some dick thing?” 
You were not exactly a good actress but you did know how to flirt, so not really knowing how else to react to the sudden improvisation, you smiled at him, “Why? Know someone interested?” 
“Yeah, nice to meet you. I´m Song Mingi,” He half-joked, hand still heavy on your thigh. “Oh, Wooyoung. You´re here, didn´t see you there.” 
He was good, you had to give him that. 
“I can see why,” Wooyoung answered, eyes pointing at the contact between you two.  
“Jealous?” Mingi asked his friend, his tone was humorous, but you could see the challenge in his eyes. Even though he was just playing, he couldn´t help being an egotistical Leo. 
“I wouldn´t say jealous is the right word.” 
“Did you know Y/N invited Mingyu over?” Mingi laughed. 
Wooyoung raised an eyebrow at you, eyes dancing with amusement.  
“I already uninvited him, asshole.” 
“Is that why you´re all touchy today?”  Mingi asked. Ok, you would have to buy him some ice cream after the phenomenal performance he was delivering. “Thought you would convince her to fuck someone, Woo.” 
“Believe me, I tried,” He shrugged. 
“Can we quit talking about me like I´m not here? Also, I´m not an animal in heat, stop being weird.” 
Well, weren´t you?  
Really? 
“You sure seem like it,” Wooyoung completed. 
“You look hornier than me, Wooyoung.” 
“I´m not denying it,” He stated matter-of-factly. 
“Oh shit, I forgot my phone with Yunho,” Mingi cursed, suddenly petting his pockets. He was so convincing you almost forgot he was helping you out. “Shit, shit, shit. I´ll be back later.” 
With that he stood up and quickly marched out of the living room, Wooyoung lazily taking his place next to you on the couch. 
“Were you really about to let Mingi fuck you?” 
“Maybe?” You answer, and well, that wasn´t a lie either. 
“Ouch, that kind of hurts my ego.” 
“Mingi and I are just friends, now you and I are best friends. There´s a huge difference there.” 
“So, you´re saying you´d fuck me if we weren´t best friends?” He joked. “Wow, thank you. I´m shy now. No need for all these compliments.” 
You rolled your eyes, not sure what to say that would lead you towards what you wanted, choosing to just be normal and hope the night would eventually get you there. 
“Why did you cancel on Mingyu?” 
“Didn´t think he would throw me around today.” 
“Someone´s getting bold.” 
“Shut up.” 
“I actually like frustrated Y/N, it´s hot.” 
“Then stop bothering me to fuck someone and let me be frustrated in peace.” 
“Well, that seems nice but I´m sure you´d look much hotter getting the frustration out.” 
“Are we back to the “you imagining someone fucking me” thing?” 
“I could correct you once again saying that I´m not imagining someone else, but since you´ve made it pretty clear that you´re not interested, I´m not going to.” 
That was it, that was your moment. 
“And what if I tell you maybe I am?” 
He stopped to give you a knowing cocky smirk that made you immediately regret raising the white flag, “I know.” 
“What? Ho- No -” 
“Y/N, you wouldn´t stop staring at me like you wanted me to destroy you in front of everyone while Mingi literally had his hand on you.” 
“That´s not -” 
“Do I have to pretend I think you were squirming because of him and not me? I can play dumb if you´d like. I can even go call him back if you tell me you weren´t wishing it was my hand almost getting under your skirt instead of his. So, are you going to give in now or are we going to keep playing this game?” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“We´re best friends, I know. But I don´t see how you avoiding me because you get wet every time I´m around is doing our friendship any favors either.” 
Ok, he did make a pretty good case even though you were already convinced like an hour ago. 
“You´re right.” 
“I know.” 
“So?” 
“I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s.” 
You stared at him, completely dumbfounded – also not liking how the tables have turned one bit. Wooyoung in turn laughed and sent you another playful wink, “Trust me, you won´t want anyone around.” 
“It took a lot from me to come to terms with this, so we´re either doing it tonight or we´re not doing it.” 
“Oh, princess,” He gave you a condescending look that got you wanting to rip his hair out. “I find that hard to believe, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“Y/n,” His voice was calm, hand finding its place on your thigh where Mingi´s was earlier, except this time the touch burned and got you fighting for your life not to squirm. “I said I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s, not that I´m not fucking you.” 
“Then let´s go.” 
“Now, that would be rude, wouldn´t it?” 
“Why are being like this?” You whined, about a second away from actually hitting the cockiness out of him.  
“You have this needy look in your eyes, like you´re ready to drop down and beg at any moment,” He smiled, his free hand gently tucking your hair behind your ear like he wasn´t talking about you on your knees. “It´s cute.” 
“You know what will be cute? When I ask Mingi to fuck me instead.” 
“If you can go to Hongjoong, in front of everyone, and tell him that we need to leave his birthday party right now because you can´t wait for me to fuck you, I´m good to go.” 
“Have you always been this annoying?” 
“Only when I know you´ll like it.” 
“You know you were the one asking to fuck me for weeks, right?” 
“I know.” 
“You just know everything, don´t you?” 
“See? You´re hot when you´re frustrated.” 
“You think I´m sexually frustrated but now I´m actually just mad at you.” He simply smiled at you in return, and you rolled your eyes once you realized where you had dug your grave, “I forgot you have a degradation kink or whatever. Can´t even be angry at you in peace anymore.” 
“If you´re really mad at me, we should fix that. I wouldn´t want my best friend to be angry at me.” 
“I don´t think it´s possible to fix it considering being annoying it´s like your whole personality. Point proven.” 
“Come say that closer,” He winked playfully, and you seriously would cringe at the number of times that man has winked at you if he wasn´t Wooyoung.  
Ok, coming completely clean: You were also kind of annoyed at the way you were definitely getting wet at the banter between the two of you, like teasing each other wasn´t what your whole friendship has been about for years. 
It also helped that Wooyoung´s hand was still on your thigh, veins sticking out and fingers filled with rings that you just couldn´t stop picturing against the skin on your neck.  
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 
It took a second to decide if you would actually listen to that one braincell fighting for its life inside your head or not, but in the end, you decided against it, quickly standing up so you could sit on Wooyoung´s lap and take him by surprise as you straddled his thighs, one of your knees on each side of legs.  
Yeah, there was definitely something pulsing in between your legs. Fucking hell. 
You moved too quicky for Wooyoung to process what was going on, so it really was amusing the way he violently jerked once you moved your head closer, lips almost brushing his ears as you whispered, “What do you want me to say?” 
For a second you had almost forgotten it was Jung Wooyoung under you, but he was fast to remind you as one of his hands found its place on the side of your thigh and the other grabbed onto your waist, where his thumb brushed gentle circles against your exposed skin. He took advantage of the fact you were already bent down to say against your ear this time, “You never told me.” 
“What?” You asked, creating some distance between you so you could look at the smirk on his face and because you didn´t quite like the way you got weak when you felt his breath against your skin so closely. 
“The other day, we made a deal. You said you would tell me what you imagined me doing to you if I told you first, but you ran away after I completed my part. You owe me.” 
Under regular circumstances you would have stood up and left right then and there, but the way his palms met the front part of your thighs and started rubbing them up and down, a bit higher each time, got you wanting to play his game to see where it would end. 
“You´re right. That day was the first time I ever thought about you sexually, and you know what triggered it?” 
“What?” He smiled at the way goosebumps erupted all over your skin under his touches. 
“Your nose.” 
“So you like my nose?” 
“And your lips, but mostly your nose.” 
"And what about my lips and nose?" 
"Was just thinking about how good they'd feel under me," You look into his eyes, centimeters away from yours, thankful that Hongjoong had deemed the lights at some point of the night and now Wooyoung's face was illuminated only by a pink hue, coming from a fake sunset light your friend had bought on AliExpress. 
"That's good, ‘cause I've never wanted someone to sit on my face so bad before." 
“Careful,” You warned, inching your face closer to his, toying with the buttons on his shirt as your lips were almost brushing. “We still need to go back to being friends after we fuck and get this off our systems.” 
"I’m sure we can manage," He smiled, inching closer himself so now your lips were indeed touching as he continued speaking. "I'm a good friend after all." 
"Kiss me then, I dare you," You breathed out, shooting your last shot. 
He laughed at that, "You know I never back down from a challenge." 
But well, it worked. 
Wooyoung made his words true, grabbing onto your waist with a firmness that you didn't know he had to pull you closer. With your chests now glued, his lips finally pressed against yours and you hated yourself for not being disappointed. You so wanted the man to be all bark and no bite, but the moment his tongue met yours you understood why that girl wouldn't leave him alone. You had indeed kissed many people before, but it had never felt like this - and also, you were right, his plush lips were definitely something to obsess over. 
What didn't surprise you at all, was that like in everything else, Wooyoung was a tease. In some moments when you would deepen the kiss, he would pull back a bit and bite on your bottom lip just to laugh when you groaned in annoyance. When he felt you were getting frustrated at his little games, he would grab onto your hips and grind them against his – which well, definitely got your mind to stop thinking about how insufferable he was. Good thing you knew how to play too, hands finding the roots of his hair to pull harshly on it, almost passing out at the whine he let out.  
"I love that you're wearing a skirt," He groaned out. 
"Why is that?" You were so breathless you almost got embarrassed. 
"I can feel how wet you are." 
Fuck. 
"You must be imagining things." 
"Oh, am I?" The cunning smile he gave you along with those words should have prepared you. 
It really shouldn't have surprised you when one of his hands left your ass and snaked its way in between your bodies. You leaned back a little to try and understand what was happening, giving Wooyoung all the access he needed to get his hand under your skirt and press the pad of his middle finger right on your clit over your panties. 
"Told ya," He smirked in content at the way you gasped involuntarily.  
"Wooyoung-" 
"What? Weren't you the one who couldn't wait?" He teased, rubbing slow circles with his finger. "If you're already soaked like this, I can't even imagine what it would be like if I just pushed your panties to the side-" 
"No-" You whined, thorn between just letting him do whatever he wanted or stopping him - since you were very much in the middle of your friend's living room and there were people around. 
"Getting shy now?"  
“Wooyoung.” 
“That´s my name,” You could see in his eyes how much fun he was having teasing you. 
“You want me to stop teasing or stop touching you?” He mocked with a smile on his face, finger still working on you as you fought with all your life to not squirm on his lap. 
“You know what? If you want everyone to see, I can put on a show,” You sighed, accepting defeat. 
You expected Wooyoung to smirk once again but was instead surprised when he stopped and retreated his hand, adjusting your skirt back in place. Your heart dropped at the sight, searching for answers in his eyes, but they were busy looking somewhere else: Mingi had gotten back. You could see the way the tall man was frozen at the entrance, eyes wide and hand once again stuck in the air – this time holding his wallet proudly. 
You sent a glare at the intruder (as if there were not at least 10 other people in the room). The moment Mingi´s eyes caught yours, he jumped as if he had just woken up from a nap and he tried mouthing something like “sorry” and “oh shit” so you just rolled your eyes and motioned with your hand for him to move along, preferably far away. He seemed to get the message, almost tripping with how fast he spun on his heels and left.  
“What? Weren´t you the one who wanted everyone to know?” You asked Wooyoung, tone pointy as you climbed off his lap. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over you. THIS WAS JUNG WOOYOUNG. 
YOUR BEST FRIEND JUNG WOOYOUNG. 
THE GUY WHO MADE YOU DRESS LIKE A CHEERLEADER TO GO TO HIS COLLEGE SOCCER GAMES AND CHEER FOR HIM, THE GUY WHO BURPED AND LAUGHED AT HIS OWN DISGUSTINESS, THE GUY WHO DID A CRISTIANO RONALDO IMPRESSION EVERYTIME HE WON SOMETHING, THE GUY YOU HAD TO ONCE RESCUE FROM A PIG FARM AFTER DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH! 
“Yeah, but I guess my protective best friend side spoke louder,” He sighed too, fixing his pants. “Don´t be mad.” 
“I´m not mad.” 
“Yes, you are.” 
“Yes, I´m mad. Ok? Cause now the magic is over or whatever and I realized you´re my best friend and we can´t fuck.” 
He turned around on the couch to be able to look into your eyes, his searching. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he simply closed his eyes, sighed once again and stood up, offering his hand, “C´mon. Let me take you home.” 
“So, Mingyu huh?” Wooyoung asked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear.  
“Don´t do that.” 
“Do what?” 
“Ask about another man and pretend everything´s normal.” 
“Well, I guessed that now that we can´t fuck we can go back to being normal best friends.” 
You locked your jaw and crossed your arms. You were angry and you didn´t even know what for – But you expected Wooyoung to fix it, nonetheless. 
“Use your words.” 
“No.” 
“Ok, then. Silent ride it is.” 
You huffed; aware you were acting like a spoiled child, but you were just angry at the mess inside your head and that your friend was not able to read your mind and untangle everything so it made sense. Maybe you really were just spoiled and angry you didn´t get what you wanted when you wanted. 
“Oh. I get it now.” 
“What?” Wooyoung asked, eyes moving from the road for a second to look at you. 
“When you call me a brat. I get it now.” 
“I was searching my brain for plausible reasons for you to be all sulky, for you to admit you were mad just because I didn´t fuck you at the party?” 
“Yeah? Not just that, but you know I don´t like when things don´t go my way, I just wanted everything to happen fast so I wouldn´t have time to think about it but then when I thought about it, I felt bad because I still wanted it to happen but I know it shouldn´t.” 
“Y/N, it´s sex.” 
“Don´t make me sound stupid.” 
“I´m not, you´re just really overthinking this.” 
“Yeah, that´s the whole point. And it´s all your fault, so you see why I´m mad now?” 
“Yes. I´m the worst.” 
“You are.” 
“Not when I fuck you, thought.” 
“The moment has passed, Wooyoung. The train has left the station. Deal with it.” 
“If you say so. Are you opening the garage, or should I park outside?” 
“I didn´t bring the tag – Wait, are you going up?” 
“Street it is then.” 
“Answer me, stupid.” 
“Yes, I´m going up.” 
“What for?” 
“You said it yourself, if we´re best friends and nothing more is ever happening, there should be no problem with me sleeping over, right? We´ve done it thousands of times.” 
“Yeah,” You squeezed your eyes at him. You knew what game he was playing, trying to prove you wrong – But you were also convinced you were more stubborn than him and that you would instead prove him wrong. 
“Slumber party, fun!” He exclaimed, taking the key out and tapping your thigh before leaving his car. 
“Since this was kind of last minute,” You heard Wooyoung´s voice approaching your room, “I didn´t really bring any clothes.” 
And there he was, next to your bed in nothing but a towel around his hips, long messy hair slightly dripping down his torso and toothbrush in his mouth, looking all casual like you both knew he wasn´t doing this on purpose.  
The fact that it was working only made you even more annoyed. 
“You know where the drawer with your stuff is,” You groaned, pretending to look at your nails. 
He looked way too smug as he turned to your closet, opening said drawer to pull out some sweatpants. You kind of expected (or is it hoped the right word?) that he would just unknot the towel and expose himself to try and seduce you, but he behaved and simply pulled the pants under the fabric before unwrapping it.  
“Have you not heard about underwear?” 
“Have you not heard that it´s healthier to sleep without it? You should hang out with me more, I can teach you a lot.” 
“Yeah, I already see you enough, thanks.” 
“Come dry my hair.” 
“I think you´re perfectly capable of doing that yourself.” 
“Yeah, but I like when you do it.” 
You rolled your eyes and groaned, pushing the blanket out of you, “Fine.” 
Wooyoung walked to the bathroom in front of you, surely having planned the way his back and arms looked from behind. You had seen him without a shirt hundreds of times already, why did you feel like you wanted to jump him now?!!?!?!?  You figured you were over it after coming back to your senses but oh boy, were you wrong. 
“Has San been dragging you to the gym?” You asked as he bent over to get the hair dryer from the bottom drawer. You figured making small talk and acting normally would keep your brain busy. 
“Yeah. And you would know that if you opened the hundreds of snaps I send you every day.” 
“I´m not 14, Wooyoung. Snapchat died in 2015, sorry to inform you,” You joked as you plugged the dryer he handed you. “Give me the towel.” 
He did as told, sitting down on your toilet as you started drying the water excess from his hair. Doing your best so no part of your arm or leg would accidentally touch his skin since you could feel the heat emanating from it. 
That was no way of living. 
Once the towel was completely damp, you tossed it on the floor and grabbed a brush, ignoring how he closed his eyes in appreciation at the touch. You fucking hated him and the way your heart was beating fast for absolutely no reason.  
Now untangled, you reached over to get the hair dryer once again but were stopped with a soft touch to the side of your leg. 
You looked down at the man expecting an answer and he simply gave you a lazy smile, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you in between his legs, “Come here. Let me look at you while you do it.” 
Well, you let him pull you along because there was nothing really sexual about it, Wooyoung was just a touchy person and he looked like he was about to fall asleep anyways.  
You turned on the dryer and used your fingers to move his hair around so the heat would get to his roots, feeling the skin of your face heat up at the way he hummed in content. Wooyoung had a lot of hair, and not just that, but he had a lot of thick hair, so you were already aware you would spend a long time in there, appreciating the silence and the fact he was pretty much out of it so you could let your guard down. 
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY you jumped in surprise when both of his hands found their way to the side of your thighs, just very softly rubbing them up and down as you dried his strands, goosebumps erupting all over your body at the delicate touch.  
Once again, just sleepy touchy Wooyoung. 
Nothing new, nothing to fuss over. 
Except YOU WERE FUSSING OVER IT BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN YOU FELT A PULSE WHERE YOU DIDN´T WANT TO FEEL A PULSE. 
This whole situation was just so domestic and nice that it scratched a very specific part of your brain that got you wanting to live in that moment forever – except maybe not with your best FRIEND. 
“I like when you touch me,” His raw voice came out softly. “You don´t do it a lot, so I have to enjoy every chance I get.” 
You didn´t have an answer to that, the only thing you could think to say was “stop” but how could he stop when he wasn´t even doing anything to begin with? This time it was not his fault that your mind was in the gutter. 
“You have enough people touching you already,” You managed to string a few words. 
“Yeah, but it feels nicer when it´s you,” He opened his eyes, you could see the sincerity in them and you felt bad that you kind of just wanted to punch him and run away. 
You were also surprised by the sudden unexpected eye contact, which explains why you accidentally pulled one of his strands a bit harshly. WHAT WASN´T EXPLAINED THOUGH, WAS THE LOW MOAN HE LET OUT AND THE WAY HIS EYES CLOSED AS HIS MOUTH PARTED. OR THE WAY YOURS HUNG OPEN TOO AT THE SOUND OR THE WAY YOU COULDN´T STOP STARING AT THE STUPID MOLE ON HIS LIP. 
It was a moment of insanity, a few seconds when your soul was out of your body; when you tentatively pulled on his hair again, feeling his nails digging into the skin of your thighs and his breathing getting heavier, yours matching. 
“If you really don´t want us to fuck then you´re just being cruel right now,” He breathed out, eyes still closed as his forehead met your abdomen.  
“I don´t?” 
“Is that a question?” 
“No. I don´t. I think your hair is dry.” 
“It´s definitely not,” He argued, raising his head once again. “C´mon, finish it. No funny business, I promise.” 
You wanted to tell him it´s not him you were worried about, it’s the way your own body was betraying you that bothered you, but you took a deep breath and continued with the work, doing your best to ignore his eyes on you or how his hands were once again toying with your thighs or how his thighs were touching your legs or how he was centimeters away from you. 
Yeah, a lot of things to ignore. 
Was your bathroom always this small? 
“You smell nice.” 
“I shower once in a while,” You agreed. “And you said no funny business.” 
“I´m complimenting you, how is that sexual?” 
“It´s not,” You agreed. 
He smirked at you because he too was well aware of the tension, if the way his sweatpants were suddenly tight were anything to go by. Thankfully he didn´t answer because you don´t think you could continue to ignore it if he mentioned he was getting hard just by you drying his hair. 
Eventually, after what felt like days, you finally turned off the dryer and prayed he would agree to your suggestion, “You´re done. Wanna sleep?” 
“Nop, this is a slumber party.” 
“What? You want to have a pillow fight now or do facemasks and gossip?” You rolled your eyes. 
“Although the first option sounds fun, I was thinking we can watch something until we fall asleep.” 
Watch something. 
Until you fell asleep. 
In your bed. 
Sure, what could go wrong? 
“What are you doing?” Wooyoung asked amusedly. 
“Building a barrier between our sides of the bed.” 
He laughed loudly at that, crawling into the bed too and taking the pillows from where you were organizing them, “Wooyoung!” 
“Shut up, you enjoyed cuddling once and you will enjoy it again.” 
“Absolutely not.” 
“What? Afraid you won´t be able to resist me? I thought we were just friends,” He teased. 
“Very funny-“ 
“Because if you´re interested we can just skip the foreplay and go straight to –“ 
“What do you want to watch?” 
You ignored his low chuckle, giving up on fighting for the pillows and getting comfortable on your bed so you could turn on the TV. 
“Community?” 
“Great,” You agreed between gritted teeth, opening the Netflix app and putting on the show from where you two had stopped it as Wooyoung fluffed the pillows behind his back next to you.  
This time he didn´t even ask before pulling you in between his legs, your back against his chest. You didn´t even fight it because honestly, what for? You simply groaned as you felt him searching for the light switch on the wall over your bed.  
“Don´t pretend you don´t enjoy it, I´ve got you all figured out now.” 
“Yeah yeah, believe what you want to.” 
“Shut up, I´m trying to watch the show.” 
You huffed, rolled your eyes and crossed your arms all at the same time. You knew it wasn´t at him you were annoyed – although he was sure making a great job at feeding into it.  
You also immediately regretted wearing shorts as the palms of his hands splayed over your thighs.  
“It´s too hot,” You complained, hoping he would let you go. 
Wooyoung simply stretched out one of his hands and grabbed the AC remote, turning it on before tossing it away and returning his palm to your thigh. His silence told you he was focused on the show and you truly wish you could say the same about yourself, but instead, your eyes were glued to the sight in front of you like it was a car wreck, not being able to look away no matter how much your brain ordered you to. Your knees were bent, your thighs almost touching your chest, so his hands were just right there in your line of sight, all veiny and calloused.  
The harder you tried to stir your mind away and pay attention to the TV, the more your brain looked like a Wattpad fanfic written by a 40-year-old who just got divorced and discovered sex wasn't just missionary. The conversation you had with Wooyoung about how the girls he fucked became literally obsessed with him kept flashing into your head and you were legitimately about to bite onto your fist and scream for 7 whole minutes.   
Your mental breakdown however was interrupted by the man behind you, who with no words started tracing his fingers – seemingly – unpresumptuously over your skin. You ignored it because you had no energy to fight it and as long as it stayed PG-rated it would be fine.  
The soft touches plus the very cold wind from the AC hitting you got goosebumps to erupt up your skin and you just felt how your nipples were suddenly sensitive against the fabric of your shirt and Wooyoung´s hand were just there, mere centimeters away and oh, you so desperately wanted him to touch them. In fact, you wanted it so badly you were fighting for your life to keep the uncomfortable squirming to a minimum.  
Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t notice it – deep down you knew he was just pretending not to for your sake, but if he could, so would you.  
“Who do you think is hotter, Annie or Britta?” His voice suddenly, almost against your ear, shocked you. “Oh, jumpy, are we?” 
“Shut up, I was just startled.” 
“So?” 
“Britta.” 
“Same.” 
He went quiet once again, except now, when you thought his mind was once again focused on the show, his hands started getting braver. They escalated from just his fingers drawing shapes on the patch above your knees to suddenly coming down to the sensitive skin between your thighs. You jerked involuntarily even though he only traced his fingers about halfway down your legs. Wooyoung once again pretended to not notice your reaction and you pretended to not notice he was touching you.  
His fingers gently brushing the sides of your thighs all the way to your knees before you could feel the tip of his middle finger slowly grazing your skin down the inside of your thighs, lower and lower each time he came down. At this point your heart was beating so fast it was almost coming out of your throat, your breathing labored and sweat building up on your forehead even though the room was freezing cold.  
“She´s kind of annoying, though.” 
“Who?” You breathed out, honestly not even knowing your name anymore. 
“Britta.” 
“Oh, yeah.” 
Silence once again.  
Attention back to the show. 
You had to control your whine of disappointment when he retreated his hands.  
Ok, you took the chance to breathe, count to 10 and give yourself a pep talk. You could do this. You would not fuck your best friend. If not because of your morals and because of your friendship, because fucking him would mean he won, and you would never give Wooyoung the satisfaction. 
Ok, you could do this. 
You could definitely do this. 
Wooyoung gently gathered your hair and pushed it over your right shoulder, the familiar goosebumps showing up once again at the way the tip of his fingers brushed against the skin of your neck.  
Yeah, you could not do this.  
The sound that came out of your mouth when his wet lips met the juncture between your neck and shoulder could only be described as a pinscher finding out it could bark. You were in fact shaking as much as those annoying tiny dogs are known for. 
You froze, not being able to react when you felt him sucking on your skin or when his tongue tried to soothe the pain his teeth left behind. Your core was clenching so hard it hurt. 
“Wooyoung,” Your voice came out as half plead half warning.  
“Hm?” He hummed against a different spot on your neck, and it made it a thousand times worse.  
 “We shouldn´t-” 
“Just tell me to stop and I will.” 
Except you couldn´t. Not when he found your sweet spot and grazed his teeth against it before gently sucking on it. This time you allowed yourself to squirm and you felt it at the same time you heard it; Wooyoung groaned as you accidentally pressed against him and figured out you were not the only one going insane. His dick was hard and now very much pulsing against your ass and lower back.  
Both of you realized you never told him to stop and you were fighting so hard to gain control of your body back as he kissed the vein on your neck - but it was all lost when his hands snaked around your torso and grabbed your boobs. You whimpered, shamefully, squeezing your legs together to try and relieve some of the throbbing.  
His kisses grew harsher, as he sucked one spot hard enough to leave a mark, the pad of his middle fingers toyed with your nipples and you simply couldn't pretend you didn´t want this to happen anymore, not with the way you could literally start dripping onto your bed any moment now.  
A gasp left your lips when his right hand grabbed onto your thigh and pulled your legs open. You felt his dick twitching when he saw the wet patch in the middle of your shorts. 
“Oh, princess,” He sighed, pressing against the stain in pure admiration. 
“Wooyoung-” 
“Tell me to stop.” 
He gave you no time to consider his words, pulling the bottom of your shorts and panties to the side and rubbing his middle finger down your slit to wet it. You carved your nails onto his thighs in return, doing your best to stay grounded. It didn´t even take a minute for you to understand why the prior girls who slept with Wooyoung became obsessed with him, you weren´t really doing anything yet and the second the pad of his finger found your clit while his other hand gently pressed down onto your lower stomach everything became even clearer. You threw your head back on his shoulder in pleasure as he rubbed figure eights against your clit. 
Yeah, you agreed to pretend nothing happened starting tomorrow, but you figured you would never be able to forget the sound of your best friend´s deep moan against your ear when he felt you around his finger for the first time. 
“Glad to see I´m not the only one going crazy,” He groaned against your ear - and when did his voice get so raspy? 
You whined once again, not really knowing what else to do when you were practically on the edge from a minute or two of stimulation. 
“Tell me to stop.” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“I love when you say my name.” 
Were you about to cry? 
At this point, you just wanted him to ignore you and throw you around and do whatever he wanted, but you knew he wouldn´t until you said so, and you were definitely not doing that. Although with every second that passed with his finger on you, that definitely was turning more into a probably.  
“I never told you.” 
“Wha- What?” 
“From all the ways I imagined this happening, I never told you my favorite.” 
“What is it?” 
“It´s the one where we´re in a sleepover and you´re so desperate that you can´t even go to the bathroom, so you just very quietly put your hands inside your shorts and touch yourself right next to me thinking that I´m asleep. And I pretend I am, but I can hear the small whimpers you try to hold back, I can feel the slight shake of the bed and I can hear how wet you are so clearly. Sometimes, I even imagine you would decide to use me, not even try to wake me up, just sit on my face and ride it until I pretend to wake up and finally eat you out until you´re crying and shaking.” 
When you literally had to hold yourself back from finishing at his words, you grabbed his hand and turned around on your knees, smashing your lips with no fanciness against his. He was quick to grab your ass and direct you to sit on top of his legs, your thighs on either side of his in the familiar position as your tongues met and you pulled the hairs on the back of his neck with all the frustration you had inside you. 
“We´re not fucking,” You informed in between labored breaths. 
“We don´t have to fuck, I just need you to sit on my face.” 
You never whined so loudly in your life before. 
That was the one single thing you have been dreaming about hearing for weeks now and you were so happy you could practically cry, in fact, you almost came right there without even being touched. 
I´ll be posting part 2 this week because this was already too long and crashing my terrible terrible computer <3
I´ll be proof reading this some other day sorry for any mistakes I´m just a dyslexic girl with adhd and no english lessons ever
3K notes · View notes
on-leatheredwings · 5 months ago
Text
Mr. Sandman (18+)
Yandere Jason Todd / AFAB Reader
> romantic  > tw/cw: non-con, somno. reader has a vagina, piv sex, creampie(s). > Jason just can't get enough of you when you're awake; why would that change when you're asleep? > a/n: my first jason solo!!! WE UP! im a sucker for simpering, weak, vulnerable jason sowwyyyy . he needs u spiritually what can i say . > word count: 1.1k
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Jason knows he shouldn't be doing this.
But who could blame him? You’re just so gorgeous. And so smart, so funny, so generous and so– so perfect. You are his god. He is your faithful acolyte. And your cunt is his altar of choice.
Jason glances himself in the mirror across your bedroom. He’s a hulking mass of muscle on all fours, hovering above your gently sleeping body. It would be a shock you haven’t woken up yet, if not for his stealth. He padded onto your bed, knowing just where the mattress would give soundlessly under his solid weight. Underneath him, you’re none the wiser. Innocent. Ripe and for the taking.
He shouldn't be doing this, he reminds himself, despite his bare erection already weeping precum in anticipation. 
You took him into your embrace, like a savior to a wounded dog. You decided he was loveable, of all things. 
He shouldn't be doing this, he tells himself again, despite his hands starting to wander. Your nipples poke sinfully through his wifebeater, breasts nearly spilling out of it anyway. You’ve dictated it to be your new set of pajamas. It’s much too long for you, falling past the start of your thighs. He peels it up, slowly, carefully. He leaves it to bunch at your collarbone, revealing your naked breasts. He swallows an appreciative groan, leaning forward and suckling on a nipple.
It’ll just be some heavy petting. Just some kissing. Just some marks so people know you’re his – he knows what to say so you won’t mind that too much in the morning. Just– just a few touches.
But then Jason’s hand wanders downwards. And when he cups your cunt with his hand – his throat tightens; he bristles, stiffens; heady desire intoxicates him and fogs his mind – all restraint comes crashing down. 
He was a damn idiot to think he could resist.
“Okay– Just a little. Just a little, I swear,” Jason groans, little more than a whisper, betraying his attempts at being quiet.
Jason, with expert vigilante fluidity, hikes one of your legs over his shoulder. He lowers and shuffles back to an eye-level view of your cunt, waiting prettily just for him.
He draws circles around your clit with his fingers, using his abundant precum as lube. A man possessed, he could watch all day at how easily and nicely you let his fingers in.
Fuck, you were made just for him, he bets. It’s not only his cock your pussy remembers; your body accommodates, obeys, and wettens in response to every part of his own. He’s barely even trying, pumping his digits back and forth. You’re basically drawing him in. 
Your mouth drops open, a soft whine falling out, and he freezes. His fingers are still stuffed in your puffy cunt. After a few seconds, you continue dozing off, although your brows pinch together with pleasure.
If you can wake up at any second, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least go the full mile. He slips his fingers out. Another whine from you. I know, I know, baby, he thinks. You’ll be full again soon enough. Jason slides forward and makes you both fit together puzzle pieces, cock against your folds. “Just the tip, I promise,” Jason says again. And so he continues. 
He’s in. He lets out a relieved sigh, nearly moaning. He’s in.
… But it’s not enough.
Before Jason knows it, he’s pushing forward, entering you fully. And every inch is well-earned – your tightness has him choked, panting and gasping. Yeah, he reassures himself. He fucking belongs here.
It takes him no time at all to start fucking his precum into your cunt. A near-frothy ring of cream grows at the fat base of his cock, a product of his speed and fervor. If he had the mind to, he’d be embarrassed at his desperation. But then he grinds your clit down against the root of his cock, frotting against your walls, and he could not be at all fucked to care.
Jason could start laughing, fucking you with wild abandon. As soon as he climbed on this bed, this was out of his hands. How did he ever think he’d be able to stop? He can’t even try to quiet down anymore. There’s the sound of skin colliding bouncing through the room, your mattress creaking from the intensity of him pounding you, and of course, his own heavy breathing. Fuck, fuck. Despite the noise, he can’t help it – he needs this.
Finally, the hot coil in him snaps. He shudders violently, veins visible in his arms and temple, mouth falling open into a moan. Face-to-face with you at this point, his breaths tickle against your cheek.
On his third orgasm, he’s finally spent. He marvels at the mess he’s made – the inside of your thighs is slick with his own makings, pearly white smeared across the canvas that his your skin. Your abused cunt is swollen and so, so pretty. His cock is still firing ropes into your body. 
Jason can't bear to withdraw himself, mind drunk with pleasure. Suddenly drowsy, Jason has to stop himself from collapsing on top of you. He gently lowers himself to lie down facing you. Both of you are on your sides, his cock still buried in your warmth.
You start to wake up, blinking away the blearly tendrils of sleep. You glance black hair and a shock of white. Mm. Jason, your sleepy mind thinks. Good. Great, even. The allure of continuing your slumber calls, as he rocks you back and forth, the motion almost sedative. Hips meeting yours, cock rutting into you…
Wait–
Your eyes fully snap open, body on high alert. You gasp.
“Jay–?” you squeak. Now fully awake, you register the full presence of his length in you and the pleasurable throb in between your thighs. And the utter stickiness of your thighs. 
Startled, Jason wakes up with a jerk. He doesn’t normally fall into such deep sleep. He feels panic rise. He was supposed to wake up after just a few minutes…!
“Fuck–” he begins, fumbling to roll away and unsheathe himself. But you curl a fist around the collar of his shirt, like pulling on a leash. You two stare at one another, both bodies still sweaty and warm. Your cunt is still full with him, his seed. Leaking. 
Fear thunders through Jason at getting caught. 
But then you pout. So cute, his dumb animal brain instinctively thinks. Even though you’d argue to him that you’re nothing of the sort. You smile mischievously, sinking onto his cock an inch.
“Now, Jay,” you say, tutting. “You should’ve woken me up first.”
1K notes · View notes
josephquinnswhore · 6 months ago
Text
disarmed - joel miller x female reader.
Tumblr media
Summary: you’ve been travelling with Joel for months, harbouring feelings for one another. Tommy helps the two of them realise how they feel.
Word Count: 5.6k
Warnings: mutual pining, fluff, mentioned a few times that joel is still grieving Sarah, jealousy, possession, age gap. Joel is in his forties and reader mid-twenties. Post outbreak fic. Reader had some dirty thoughts about joel.
Note: I’ve been awol for three months. Hello friends!! @katiexpunk Part two > testament to you.
"Ain’t gonna give up on me are ya?"
Joel calls out, checking over his shoulder to see if you're still behind him. You two have been travelling for hours, with the crunch of your boots against the snow that began to fall on the previous evening—the first official day of winter. They needed to reach Jackson before a mound of snow covered the area, or otherwise they would never know how long they would be there in this endless stretch of open space. With the possibilities of being stuck in a snowstorm, it dawned on them; the pressure to get to their destination.
Joel's crooked, uneven, scowling facade did nothing to keep you out or to halt your innate desire to preserve yourself by desperately attempting to make a connection with him, but for some reason, you had managed to accomplish what no one else could.
Make him feel affection, which of course, came with the pure unbridled fear at the thought of something happening to you. A fear he had not felt since..
“Not long to go now,” he murmurs, trying not to think about his past, his voice softening as he waits for you to catch up, he can see you are making the effort to keep up, your legs picking up their stride in an attempt to match his pace. Even so, at this rate they wouldn’t make it to Jackson before nightfall.
The weary look you give does nothing to comfort him either, internally, he cant stop any thought about you, wanting to know what you were thinking, what you were feeling, other than the pure exhaustion he could feel radiating from your pained expression and lame movements.
They were nearly at Jackson, to Tommy, after months of travelling and struggling for food, fighting against raiders and infected, Joel had made it his personal mission to keep you safe, to get you to Jackson. They had to make it today, before the sun fell, they were struggling for rations, between them, they had a can of baked beans left, two decades old and barely edible, it's clear to Joel that you’re losing hope.
“I know, not long, right?” You manage to reply after a few moments of thinking to yourself. The two of you had been surviving on scraps for weeks, you couldn't remember what it was like to eat a proper meal. For your stomach not to grumble and ache in hunger.
“When we get to Jackson they’ll have a bed for us, a real bed, probably a proper shower too, an’ food. Somethin’ for us to look forward to.” He glances your way, attempting to lift your spirits.
A crack of a smile stretches your lips, thinking about hot water, a real warm meal. “I don't remember the last time I had a real shower.”
“You’ll be able to finally wash that grease out of your hair too,” he mutters under his breath with a cheeky grin. He could only wonder how bad the two of them must smell at this point. Hes probably grown accustomed to the smell of his own putrid stench. A mix of grease, gunpowder, blood, dirt and body odour. You never complained though.
“Like you can talk, the stench coming from you is foul, old man.” A playful jest comes from you, one that makes joel smile, before feigning offence, he brings his hand to his chest as he scoffs. “Like you're any better.”
His lips turn into a genuine smile as the two of them share a light hearted moment, something that feels like it had been weeks since had happened – he can't help but admit to himself that.. it feels nice. That he enjoys seeing this side of you, that he could be the one to make you happy.
The playful smile on your face slowly slips into the same tight line it had been for weeks on end. The monotonous expression Joel had become so accustomed to.
“Whats on your mind? Somethin’ botherin’ you?” Joel asked, sensing that something was off with you.
“Hm? Oh, no I'm good, just get stuck in my head sometimes I guess.” You manage to excuse yourself.
He knew very well what that was like, he himself spent a lot of time stuck in his head, they were more alike than he had anticipated. “That’s alright, I understand.” He reassures her.
You can't help the way you feel something for him, noting the way his hazel eyes always softened when he looked at you, his voice soft. But the constant fear nagged you, about the age gap, he was in his forties, and you only in your mid twenties. Did he see you as a kid? Did he see you as a woman?
Joel always tried to remind himself that you weren't a little girl, even with the evident age gap between the two, he still saw you as a capable, beautiful woman. He couldn't deny the way he felt when he was the one to make you laugh, those beautiful eyes of yours and how expressive they were. He couldn't deny he felt something for you, which puzzled him, it was a feeling he thought he would never experience.
The snow begins to fall heavier, and with how long they had to go to Jackson, Joel knew it would be best if they stopped for the night, to try and find some shelter for them, for her. As if an otherworldly god hears their thoughts, a small cabin comes into the near distance. You hope wordlessly that Joel would offer to stop for the evening. If not, begrudgingly for a few hours, at least.
He motions for you to follow him, in the direction of the cabin. “That looks like a safe place to camp for the night, whaddya think?” To Joel, this was an easy decision, he was tired of seeing you shiver when you camped outside, clutching to the sleeping bag for a sliver of warmth, the thin material never did much to sooth your chattering teeth. He doesn't want you sleeping outside ever again, if he had any say over the matter.
“You think it’s safe?” Your eyes scan the area, it looks abandoned.
Joel nods as he cracks open the door, scowling as the door creaks open loudly. He leads the way inside the empty cabin, he does a quick scan of the place before he steps inside, out of the snow. Its a fraction warmer inside, something you can appreciate as you close the door behind you.
“Stay close.” He whispers, keeping an eye out, the cabin was clear after searching for a few minutes, it’s a small area, a broken lounge in the same living space as the kitchen. The floorboards in the corner are starting to rot due to a leak in the roof, some of the snow falling through to the inside of the cabin. “Looks like we're all good in here, I’ll look around and see what I can find, we’ll sleep here for the evenin’.”
You shrug off the heavy pack that had been clinging in the same sore spot for hours on end, shoulders aching dully as you roll them, reaching your hands back to massage the sore spots. Your fingers are cold and stiff as you unclip your sleeping bag from your pack, setting it up in the small kitchen area, away from the corner that has a small leak in the roof.
“This place ain't so bad, better than most places we been sleepin’.” Before Joel can relax, he eyes a bookcase, it's large enough to cover the front door, with one push it topples over, with a grunt, the bookshelf falls securely over the front door, keeping them safe inside.
You look around a little in the kitchen, seeing some old trinkets covered in a thick layer of dust, a windchime, it creates a beautiful twinkle as your fingers caress the cold material, clanging against each other. Going through the draws, you have a look at a faded image, picking it up to inspect it, your heart drops, the image depicts a young family, two parents and a small baby, all smiling into the camera, in this very kitchen where you stood now.
You can’t help but wonder how long ago they resided here. If they were still alive.
“Must’ve been a family’s cabin…” His eyes glance at the photo as he leans down to rummage through the cupboards, finding a few cans of veggies that had been left behind, he sets it down on the bench next to you. “We made out pretty good on food this time. Are you hungry?”
Shakily, you return the photo back to where you found it. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
“You okay?” He asks, sensing the uneasiness in your voice. He grabs the tin cans of food and skillfully pops the lids open with his knife, handing a can of food to her. He nods towards their sleeping bags and they both sit down on the floor, he can't ignore the ache in his back and knees as he stretches his legs out on the floor. He tried not to think about it, sitting here with you on the hardwood floors eating out of a two decade old can of veggies was nothing worth complaining about, compared to the hell you two had endured over the months.
They were together at least. They made it this far.
“Yeah, I guess. Just doesn't get easier, you know? Thinking about it. They had a baby.” Hesitantly, you start eating with Joel, who seems silent.
He eventually nods in agreement. “Not everyone makes it.” He speaks quietly, even after all this time, he still mourns, he's been reminded of his loss time and time again, the image of the family was no exception.
They eat in silence, and you set the empty can beside your sleeping bag, sighing as you snuggle into the little warmth it provides. “Try and get some rest, we’ll head out at first light.”
“Goodnight Joel.”
He watches you settle, a small grunt escapes him as he keeps his rifle close, he leans against the wall. “Goodnight darlin’.”
“I'm sorry about your daughter Joel.” You whisper, before sparing him a glance and rolling over away from him. Joel watched you, the words pierce him, memories of his daughter haunt him, but he can't blame you. “Yeah, me too.” He mutters under his breath.
Joel stays awake, he's too restless to sleep at the thought of Sarah, losing her, relieving the pain and anguish of twenty years without her. Yet, the pain was as palpable as it was the night it happened.
The sun rises, and Joel rolls his sleeping bag, clipping it onto his pack. He notices you stirring awake. “Mornin’.” He grumbles tiredly. He stretches his neck, a loud crunch fills the air. “We should get goin’. I want to get to Jackson before midday.” He groaned as he stood, his knees clicking into place, worn and aching, the cold didn't help.
You wipe the sleep from your eye and pack the sleeping bag up quickly, not wanting to make Joel wait, he seemed pretty restless. Joel shoves the bookshelf off the door, opening it and takes a weary step outside into the daylight. He couldn't wait to see Tommy, he couldn't stop thinking about a shower, and a decent meal. They had been surviving in the wilderness for so long, Joel wasn't sure what he would do being back in civilization.
You pause in the doorway, watching Joel walk outside, his worn boots crunching in the fresh snow. “Just.. just wait a sec.” You wearily call out to him, looking back inside the cabin.
“What is it?” Joel asked, stopping in his tracks, turning to look back at you, a confused look on his face. You take a few quickened steps back into the cabin, pulling the drawer out to find the photograph of the family, before rushing outside to meet Joel. “Someone should remember them.”
Joel looks between you and the cabin, wondering what on earth you were doing. “Whaddya mean?” He asked, his voice gruff and full of confusion. He stands there for what felt like forever, watching as you return with the faded photograph in your hand. He stared at you for a moment, his expression unreadable.
You shove the photograph into the back pocket of your jeans. “Ready to go?”
Joel looks at you, a serious expression on his weathered face. “Yeah.” He motions for you to continue walking, he tries to push behind the thought of the family as they walk from the cabin. For some reason, there was a warmth in his chest, at your actions, something so miniscule could show the kind of person you were. Perhaps not all hope was lost with someone so compassionate like you left in the world.
It was relatively quiet between the two of you for the rest of the trip, only a few miles, the snowfall had come to a halt overnight, so the snow wasn't much of an obstacle, being so far away from any town, there were near to no infected, nor other people.
Finally, ahead, there it was. They had finally made it to Jackson, to Tommy.
“Shit. This is Jackson?” You ask in wonder, taking in the heavily fortified walls, the men patrolling on the walls with rifles. A haven.
“Sure as hell looks like it.” Joel felt himself finally relax, for the first time in months, even if only for a moment, they had made it. “C’mon, we can get inside before the snow starts comin’ down again.” He picks up his pace towards the gate.
“Are you sure they'll let us in?” You knew Tommy was here, but the anxiety of being turned away was palpable. Joel glances back, reassuring you with a small smile. “Dont worry darlin’, Tommy knows we’re comin’.”
The gates open, and the hinges whine in protest.
“Joel, you ugly bastard is it really you?” A southern voice calls out, as the gate opens, and you watch as a man embraces Joel, similar in looks, if anything, less grey hair. “The hell took you so long?” The man asked, a joyous tone in his voice as he embraced Joel.
“Yeah, were not easy but we made it.” Joel huffed out a laugh. Tommy waves his hand, a brief gesture for the pair to follow him inside. Tommy looks over Joel’s shoulder as they walk. “Who’s this?”
You stand behind Joel, a meek smile on your lips as you introduce yourself. Tommy smirks at Joel. Joel's face reddened, his younger brother’s stare made him heat up.
“Just get us set up Tommy.” Joel muttered, avoiding the amused gaze from his brother. Tommy’s wolfish grin doesn't slip. “Sure thing, follow me.”
The odd interaction does not go missed as you watch the pair, following them to a house that Tommy had organised specifically for Joel. Tommy lets them into the house to look around and Joel speaks up. “We've been out in the wild for a long while, and we're happy to finally be able to settle down for a bit.” Joel explains, looking at Tommy.
“I can imagine. Well, i'll leave ya alone to settle in for now. Were havin’ a get together later tonight at the hall, you should come. It’ll be good for you to spend some time away from each other for a bit.” Tommy jests.
You look between the two men, confused. “So where am I going to be staying?” You knew that Joel would probably want to be away from you, now that he had done his part in bringing you here safely.
Joel's head snapped in your direction and he stared at you for a moment. “With me.” He said, a little too quickly. “You'll be staying with me, here.” Joel’s eyes dart back to Tommy as if he was warning him against some smart arsed response. He looked a little embarrassed.
It didn't take an idiot to notice the glance you and Joel shared. Tommy smiled ear to ear as he watched the interaction between you two. “Alright.. Well you two can get settled here. Holler at me if you need anything, alright?”
As Joel nods, Tommy steps outside the house, leaving the pair alone again. Setting your pack down, you admire the house. “Nice place..”
Joel hums, nodding in agreement, setting his pack down next to your own. “Its alot nicer than where we've been campin’. And there's electricity.” Looking at the light Tommy had flickered on when he walked in.
“You mean we can shower?” Joel grins in amusement at your sudden excitement. “Hot water and all princess, why don't you go on and have the first shower?” The bathroom itself was simple, but it felt surreal to have electricity and running water.
“Are you sure?” Joel nods, “I can wait, its all yours.”
Joel closes the bathroom door behind you, and explores the bedroom, ruffling through the closet as he decides what to wear to this stupid get together tonight.
The hot water feels incredible, soothing the aches in your body, as you lather the vanilla scented soap, spreading the suds to wash the grime off your body. The colour of the water that runs down the drain is appalling, dark brown from grease and dirt. The shampoo is fruity, and a divine smelling scent you hadn't ever smelt in your lifetime. Lathering the clear concoction, you take your time to scrub the grease and disgusting things that stick to your strands of hair and scalp.
Its almost painful to shut the water off, but you know that Joel deserves to experience the hot water too, stepping out, you run your hand over the fogged up mirror, and hardly recognise yourself.
You slip on the clothes that had been provided for you, dark wash jeans and a long sleeved, tight fitting brown shirt. It accentuates your body shape wonderfully.
You look like a brand new woman as you emerge into the bedroom seeing Joel sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey.”
Joel looks up at you, his eyes widening as he takes in your form. You were even more beautiful than before, you looked radiant. He quickly stood, clearing his throat and he tried to keep his composure. “Hey darlin’.” He manages to utter out, his voice a little low.
Your cheeks warm under his intense gaze, hazel eyes roaming your body. “You gonna have a shower before we go?”
Joel glances down at himself, he now looked completely filthy compared to her, realisation sinking in.
“Y-yeah I think I will.. I can wash up in a minute.” As he looks back up at you, he notices your lingering gaze on him.
Were you checking him out too?
The tension is broken as Joel walks to the bathroom, taking his turn for the shower. Your mind wonders as the water runs, wondering what Joel looks like under all those clothes, if the hairs on his chest travel all the way down his torso, wondering if his tanned skin is the same delicious colour all over. A soft groan echos through the bathroom, gartering your attention, ears perking at the wonderfully intimate noise.
Something inside of you tingles in excitement at the thought, it's a hard thought to squash as you put your boots on. Joel's hair was damp, slicked back, the greying strands on his temple looked lighter than ever. The green and red flannel shirt hugged his torso and arms snugly, the jeans looked a size too small, clinging to his thick muscular thighs. His hazel eyes stared down at you as you looked him over, admiring him, he cant quite read the expression on your face.
Now it was your turn to play it cool, clearing your throat. “Ready to go?” Joel was still trying to come out of his haze as he stared at you, still trying to process the way you were checking him out. “Y-yeah…” He muttered, rubbing his jaw. “Yeah, let's.. Let's go..”
The hall is set up nicely, small bulbs hang from the ceiling emit a full yellow hue, there's an old record player, with vinyls underneath the bench it’s set up on, the melody of an old song echos through the hall as they walk in together, they gain some looks, from people dancing, young and old. Joel is brought into another hug by Tommy as he greets them. “Hey, look at you!” Tommy grinned. “You clean up nice.”
You silently agree, Joel looked as handsome as ever.
Joel's face runs hot as he hears Tommy’s tease, turning a rosy pink across his cheeks. He quickly brushed it off, rubbing the back of his neck as he attempted to maintain his composure. “Shut it, Tommy…” Joel muttered. Tommy grinned as he watched his brother's reaction, his eyes then shifting to you. “And you… look beautiful tonight.”
Joel watches your reaction to his brother's compliment, seeing you squirm a little. “Thanks Tommy. So… what exactly is this?”
Tommys grin remained as he motioned for you both to follow. “It's a get together, we do them to blow off a little bit of steam every once in a while, you know how it is.” Joel grunts in annoyance, not enthralled by the idea of being social, nor in the judgemental gaze of the community folk.
Your eyes follow the couples as they dance to the music. A sense of yearning overcomes you, wishing it were you and Joel dancing so intimately. It's something Tommy notices.
“What, you want to dance, girl?” He asked, a mischievous grin on his lips. Joel's eyes widened as he tried to get his attention. “Tommy…” He muttered in warning, his voice a low grumble.
You didn't decline tommys suggestion. “You offerin’?” Perhaps, if anything, you would be lucky enough to make Joel jealous.
Tommy nods, taking you by the hand as he drags you to the makeshift dance floor, away from Joel. “Of course.”
Joel could feel the annoyance bubbling up inside him. He wouldn't admit that he was starting to become jealous at the sight of his brother dancing with you.
You and Tommy dance, occasionally sneaking glances at Joel, who still looked unimpressed by the situation. Tommy laughs whenever he sees Joel’s scowling face, enjoying winding his brother up. Tommy took his turn to tease you. “So… what's it like travelling with my grumpy ass brother?”
“He's not grumpy with me.” You answer simply. This, Tommy raises a brow at. “Oh really?” He glanced over her shoulder at his brother, who was now glowering at the pair. “Looks real grumpy to me..” He teased, letting out a small chuckle.
“Only cause you're pickin’ on him.” You counter.
“You're probably right.” It wasn't uncommon for Tommy to tease his older brother like this, the more he saw how annoyed Joel was becoming, the more he wanted to keep this up.
“I like him, alot.” You murmur between the two of you. Tommy’s teasing expression dies down, shifting to an expression of empathy. He was quiet in thought for a moment before he spoke. “I can tell…” he glances at joel. “He's got it bad for you too.”
“Thats a lie if I’ve ever heard it, Tommy Miller.” You scoff.
Tommy’s brows furrowed a little as he scoffs as your disbelief.”You can't seriously tell me you're that naive, it's obvious he likes you, girl.” Joel's gaze darkens, eyes fixated on them from across the hall.
“He doesn’t like me.”
“Have you seen the look on his face? He's got this…” Tommy gestured to his own face. “...stupid look on his face since we've been dancin’. And he's lookin’ like hes seconds away from murderin’ me.”
You shrug. “He's just protective of me.”
“And how do you two interact?” Tommy asked. “Like, he dont seem too fond of me touchin’ you.” Joel's eyes flicker down to the way his younger brother's hand held your waist.
“I’m guessin’ you got some kind of plan, then, to prove me wrong?”
Tommy’s face lit up when you say this. “What do you think, girl? Are you up for it?”
A groan leaves your lips. “What’re you thinkin’?”
Tommy smirks, gently and suddenly twirls you, bringing you flush to his chest, the action makes Joel scowl. “We’re gonna piss him off just enough for him to come over. Sound good?”
You don’t miss Joel's reaction, maybe it did mean something..
“Okay, let's see what you got.”
Tommy grins, he pulls you close to him, dipping his head down to your ear, whispering. “You tell me if he gets too annoyed for yer likin’... I don’t wanna cross no boundaries.”
Tommy is an impressive dancer, you admit, and as nice as it is to be spun around the dance floor, your mind wonders what it would be like to dance with Joel, how he would hold you, where he would place his hands, how firm his grip would be.
Tommy dips you, making sure to keep a tight grip around your waist, and his body as close to yours as he could manage without dropping you, Tommy leans in, his nose close to yours. “Bit dramatic don't you think?” You mutter, eyeing tommy. There was a chance Joel would kill Tommy for this, and Tommy leans in, as if he was intent on kissing you.
That was it for Joel, he reached his breaking point, watching as his younger brother's actions grew more bold and more suggestive. As soon as he saw how close you two were, how intimate that moment looked, he pushed his way through the dancefloor, barging people that were dancing to get to them. Tommy’s plan seemed to work, getting the reactive reaction out of Joel, your eyes widened as Tommy straightens you up, the older Miller brother approached them.
“Now you've done it.” You mumble.
“Oh no, what have I done?” Tommy teases. Before he could say anything else.. Joel yanks Tommy’s shoulder, separating him from you.
Joel lets out a low growl, pushing Tommy further away from you. “What’re you tryna pull, Tommy?”
“Whoa, whoa.” Tommy protests, shrugging his shoulder out of Joel's grasp. “I’m not pullin’ nothin’. I was dancin’ with the girl, is that a crime?” Joel grits his teeth together, trying to stop himself from punching his own brother.
“He wasn't doing anything Joel.” You murmur softly, trying to calm the man down, but it seems to only agitate Joel that you seemed to defend Tommy’s actions.
His nostrils flare as he looks at you. “You're takin’ his side then?”
“Hey, come on, it ain't like that.”
His irritation grows, did you really think this was okay? That this was just friendly dancing? “You really think he was just dancin’?” He mocked.
Your brows furrow as you sense Joel’s rising irritation towards you, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. “Yes, that's exactly what I think.”
Joel lets out an annoyed huff, crossing his arms in front of his chest, this was not going the way he wanted. “He was all up on you and you think this is innocent? You’re more naive than I thought.” He sneers, a low grumble leaving his lips.
It hurts, hearing Joel talk to you like this, and you shove past them before he can see the tears welling in your eyes. Tommy stops Joel from chasing after you.
Joel lets out an annoyed huff, turning to look at him. “Get outta the way, Tommy.”
“She likes you, Joel.” Tommy said, his hand not leaving his older brother's chest, needing him to listen.
Joel rolls his eyes, not believing that statement for a moment. “No, she doesn’t. She was just humouring you.” He tries to push past Tommy again.
“It was my idea joel. I thought if I turned up the heat a little you'd show her you're sweet on her.”
“...what?” Joel's face flushed pink hearing that. “You.. you were just trying to…” When he realised that this little stunt was all an attempt to show that they liked each other, it surprised him, was it so obvious?
“You know I wouldn't dream of makin’ a move on yer girl. Go on now, get her and tell her how you feel before she runs off on ya.”
Joel stares at his brother for a moment as his words sank in. Once it did, he nodded, understanding now that this was an attempt to try and make Joel admit his feelings for you. He didn't say another word as he turned out of the hall, rushing back to the home where he knew you would be.
You felt humiliated by the entire thing, by Joel being angry at you, he had never looked at you with that look of unbridled anger. It was always directed towards other people, the ones that had tried to hurt you. Never you.
Joel’s footsteps are heavy, easily recognisable to you. As he makes his way to you, where you’re packing your things into your pack, tears streaming down your swollen cheeks.
He calls your name, and you don’t respond, shoving things angrily into your pack, you know he’s at the bedroom door, watching you.
His heart sinks as he watches you, he steps closer to you, reaching his hand out to touch your shoulder, in an attempt to stop you. “Stop.” He muttered softly. “Stop packin’ yer things.”
When you don’t listen, Joel takes the pack from your hand and tosses it across the room, your possessions all spilling out into the wooden floor. “What the hell is your problem?” You snap.
“Would you just stop it?” He exclaims, frustration evident in his tone. He grabs your arm, firmly enough to garner your attention. Spinning you to look at him. “Why are you doin’ this?”
“You humiliated me!” You quip, voice trembling.
He exhaled, the warmth of his breath fans on your cheeks. “Listen..” he muttered. “Whatever you thought happened, it was the complete opposite. Tommy told me the whole plan, he was.. tryin’ to make me admit somethin’ to myself.. to you.”
Your cheeks warm as you realise Tommy snitched. “..oh.”
His large hands reach out to cup your face, turning your face upright, so your gaze would meet his own. “I care about you a lot…” he spoke after a moment, his expression softening. “I know I’m not real good at showin’ it, but I really..”
“I really do like you, darlin’.”
You sputter a response. “Tommy.. was right?”
Joel nods, his expression growing bashful as he tries to hide his embarrassment with a small snort. “Yeah.. stupid bastard was right.” He runs a hand through his hair, trying not to stumble over his words. “Have done since I saved ya all them months ago.” He confessed.
His hand runs through his hair again, something you’ve picked up as an anxious tick of his. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
It was a question Joel hadn’t really thought of himself, until now. “It’s hard for me to be vulnerable..” he admits. “I’m just… not really like that.”
It certainly wasn’t the first time he had trouble opening up about his feelings, but he wanted you to understand that he wanted to try, with you.
“Especially with.. the way the world is now.. I thought I shouldn’t get myself tied up in somethin’ that could just get me hurt later.”
The words that went unspoken, you understood. He was afraid of losing you. And suddenly, her eyes softened. “What changed? Seein’ me with Tommy?”
It was an embarrassing truth, one that he had to face. “Yeah..” he agreed, glancing away from you a moment. “It felt like someone was just punchin’ me in the guts. Seein’ you dancin’ with him I felt..” he groans. “Jealous.”
Unintentionally, you bat your lashes at him. “I was so convinced you wouldn’t like me, I made such a fool of myself.”
His brows scrunch together as he realises how his actions made you feel. He gently takes your face in his large hands, his thumb rubs your cheek in a soothing motion.
“Hey, you didn’t do any of that…” he murmured. “If anything I shoulda told ya ages ago.”
With his reassurance, you wrap your arms around his midsection, fisting the soft material of his flannel on his back. He doesn’t resist, although he relaxes from his tense stance, bringing his own arms around you. “How about we start over an’ I’ll do this proper?”
Your eyes widen, looking up at him. “Proper?”
He couldn’t suppress the smile creeping onto his lips, your words make his heart flutter. “Y’know.. with you as my girl…” he murmurs nervously. “If.. if you’d like that?”
“I would like that.” You accept without hesitation, your voice soft as Joel leans his chin on your head, his thumb caressing your cheek.
“Don’t ever try an’ run off again. I’ll hog tie ya to the bed if I have ta.” A soft laugh leaves your lips at his threat, and you raise a brow.
“That right? Maybe I’ll take off one day, just to test you.” Joel’s eyebrows raise, a daring look in his eyes, arms tightening around you as he lifts you off the ground effortlessly, tossing you onto the plush bed.
“Yer mine now sweetheart, ain’t letting you go, ever.” He murmurs against your neck, hovering over you, pressing a small kiss to the soft skin of your temple.
“Mine till the day I die.” He growled possessively, the tender touch was a concise movement, one that contradicted his possession.
Somehow, you had disarmed him. And from now on, Joel wasn’t going to fight it.
1K notes · View notes