#i breed them partially for pet food and partially just to have as pets

[the-reclawmation-studio]

Migratory locusts pinned in 3 different poses. Which is your favourite?

These are natural deaths from my breeding colony.

[hoenoredone]

A TYPICAL DATE

tags: sfw, fluff, headcanons, enstablished relationship characters: gojo, geto, nanami, naoya, inumaki, yuuta, noritoshi

GOJO SATORU

cat café

he's a cat dad and you're never going to convince otherwise. because of his job it's quite difficult for him to keep a pet in the house, he feels too bad leaving it all alone for days at the time (do not worry, the ball of fluff would have an automatic feeder and a self cleaning litter). so he gets his fix at a cat café. it's perfect, really: he can pet all the cats, and you can eat and drink to your heart's content while seeing him all happy and giddy.

GETO SUGURU

dinner and a movie

he's a wanted simple man, he's perfectly content setting the table while you stir fry the meat he had left in the fridge to marinate for the whole day. he'd fry up some popcorn after dinner and drizzle them in butter and salt. he loves it when you rest your head on his shoulder, especially if the movie turns out to be boring. he lets you fall asleep and does his best not to wake you at the end of the film. when nanako and mimiko make fun of him the day after for carrying you to the bed bridal style, he can only smile and ruffle their hair.

NANAMI KENTO

petit pâtisserie

he has a sweet tooth, sorry i don't make the rules. he doesn't like sickeningly sweet pastries, but a french press coffee and a slice of opéra cake are perfectly within his taste. he watches you eat an english scone with strawberry-rhubarb jam and clotted cream and sip on your darjeeling tea as he listen to you talk about whatever is on your mind. he notices some crumbs on your lower lip and tries to discretely let you know, but you're too absorbed in your own world to notice. so he gently wipes them away for you and notices a slight blush dusting your cheeks.

ZEN'IN NAOYA

michlin star restaurant

it's really not a date, it's more of an interview. he doesn't date just to date, he dates to marry. he needs to be the perfect heir for the zen'in clan, he needs a wife and a child. so he takes you to an incredibly expensive restaurant and grills you with questions. at the start it's not the most pleasant experience, but as the date goes on (if you answer his questions correctly) he loosens up and lets you speak freely. he doesn't even realize it, but he feels like he has a lot to prove, so once he decides that it's worth it he orderes his favorite wine (coincidentally the most expensive one) and shoos the waiter away to pour you a glass himself.

INUMAKI TOGE

arcade

please he loves the pinball machines, literally spends hours on them. you take turns at the claw machines to try and win each other a plushie (that riceball looks just like him? how?) and lose almost three thousand yen. he watches you play a shooter game and gets playfully annoyed when you don't listen to his tips. almost spills his coke all over one of the machines when you finally win your first game of the night. he offers you karaage to celebrate and you almost choke on the sauce when he imitates the panicked face you had during the game.

OKKOTSU YUUTA

picnic at the dog park

can he pet that dog? can he please pet that dog?? you bring the food and a table cloth, and he brings plates, cutlery, drinks and two different brands of dog treats. you could swear he spends more time looking at the dogs run around and telling you all about the specific breed than actually eating. a big fluffy maremmano runs towards him and almost knocks the picnic table over, but yuuta is ready: he grabs a duck skin treat from his pocket and hurls it to the other side of the park, but not before having pet the dog's head and having called him a good boy.

KAMO NORITOSHI

japanese tea house

he enjoys the quiet of the tea house's garden because he's not a kamo there, just noritoshi. he used to be partial to sencha tea but you insisted on ordering something different every time, and he's glad you did because he's a creature of habit, without you he wouldn't have discovered he actually prefers hojicha tea over anything else. he lets you order whatever you want, from dango to daifuku, even dorayaki once, but warabimochi remains his favorite.

[littlemissomega]

Hungry

alpha!Rhyand x omega!reader

Summary: Rhysand finds a way to make his mate eat during her heat

Warnings: smut, cockwarming, teasing, reader not wanting to eat but Rhys convincing her too, bargaining, heat and rut, overstimulation, mention of biting/marking, breeding kink, pet names (Alpha, Omega, little dove, baby), wing play/stimulation, food play if you squint, bad writing, not proof read

Note: Both characters have sensitive wings.  Sarah J. Mass created the character “Rhysand” in the book series “A Court Of Thorns and Roses” 

Masterlist

“Alpha nooo! I’ll be good, I promise!”

“Shh little dove,” Rhysand coos, “It’s for your own good!”

“I don’t wanna, I just want you!” Y/ whines.

“You have to eat, baby. What kind of mate would I be if I didn’t feed my omega?”

“I don’t need food, I need you!” Y/N wiggles her hips up as if to prove it. Rhysand groans.

Since the mating bond snapped into place almost 2 days ago, Rhysand and Y/N have been caught in a frenzy of searching hands and unquenchable need. Naturally, it triggered YN’s heat and Rhysand’s runt. But while Rhysand had suffered the sweat drenched, desperate and foggy musk of his runt before, this is Y/N’s first heat. Rhysand nearly chokes on her needy scent, struggling to control himself. Everything from her dripping pussy, peaked nipples, ruffled hair, and glazed over eyes makes him want to fuck her silly. Well, more silly. She squirms under his graze.

“Omega, you have to eat,” Rhysand orders, voice shifting into that dominant husk that makes Y/N’s bones turn to jello and every fiber of her being needs to obey him.

The burning pit in her core that had been temporarily appeased threatens to swallow Y/N whole. She writhes, gripping the sheets and moaning.

“Pleaseee! I need you in me now! Feel so empty, Alpha, it hurts so bad so achy! Need you so bad!” she babbles. Rhysand moans at the sight.

“You really will be the death of me, little dove,”

Rhysand pulls her into a sitting position- having to support her weak body- into his lap. His fingers graze the tips of her wings, and Y/N almost cums on the spot. She instinctively grinds against his hard cock. A growl rips from his lips and he grabs her hips, stilling her. 

“I’m feeling partially gracious, so I’ll make you a deal, mate,” he groans into her ear, pushing her sweat stick hair back.

She whimpers in response, breathing in his scent deeply. He smells of Ilirian leathers, fresh parchment, night drenched breezes, and cracking fire. The fire goes straight to her core.

“You eat what I feed you, and I’ll let you warm my cock while you do it,” Rhysand proposses, picking up the bowl of praise and little pieces of bread he summoned earlier.

“Okay, please, Alpha, just need you in me so bad!” Y/N practically cries. His cock twitches under her before he slides in in one fluid movement

Y/N clutches Rhysand’s shoulders as she struggles to adjust to his size. She’d lost count of how many times he’s made her cum, but it never seems to be enough. Her body craves more, more, more. Needs it. He becomes the very air she breathes in the frenzy of her first heat.

She tries moving on him, but he grabs her nips, anchoring her against him. Y/N lets out a moan and he takes the opportunity to pop a grape in her mouth. 

“Chew,” he orders.

Her jaw obeys on its own accord.

She swallows to say, “Alpha, please, I need more!”

“Yes you do need more grapes, little dove!” Rhysand coos, slipping two more in her mouth.

Y/N pouts, but chews and swallows all the same. She wiggles her nips, searching for some kind of friction; causing Rhys to pinch her thigh.

“Hey!” she exclaims. Rhysand stuff a small pice of bread in her open mouth.

“Be good,l little dove,” 

Y/N swallows and licks the crumbs off her ips. Rhysand’s cock twiches in her. An idea pops in her head.

“Alpha, can I have some more grapes?” she asks innocently.

His brows shoot up.

“Of course, omega,”

Rhysand slips a grape through her lips, but she closes them before he withdowls his fingers. Rhys looks at Y/N curiously until starts gently sucking on his fingers. His eyes fill with lust and a growl bubbles up in his throat.

“Careful,” he advises, every syllable dripping with dominance.

Y/N releases his fingers with a ‘pop’, and bites down on the frappe. The sweet juices fill her mouth and she swallows.

“What do you mean?” she asks, again acting innocent.

Y/N leans forward so her nipples graze Rhs’s toned chest. She wraps her arms around his neck, allowing her fingers to graze his wings. He moans and jerks his hips up into her. Y/N’s head drops against his chest as hot sparks radiate through her.

“You know what you’re doing, don’t you little dove?” he groans between his teeth as his cock shifts in her tight walls.

“Eating grapes?” she responds breathily, reaching for a grape and popping it in her mouth. The movement causes her to shift an inch off and back against his cock.

Rhysand’s hand grapes her hips with a near bruising grip.

“You’re making it really fucking hard to be a good mate right now,” Rhys groans against her neck. The area prickles, “Cause all I can think about now is all the very very bad, inappropriate things I want to do to you. And I can’t do all those things if you’re running on an empty stomach,”

“Your cock’s got me feeling pretty full though,” she whimpers, squeezing her tight walls around him.

“Caldron fucking boil me,” Rhys growls before snapping into action.

IN a flash, Y/N is flipped on her back with her knees flush against the sides of her chest. Rhys pulls out almost all the way before thrusting back in, causing a moan to slip from her lips. 

“There you go, little dove, is this what you wanted?” Rhysands pants, thrusting into her at a relentless speed.

Every drag of his cock inside her is like fire and light and night exploding, and all Y/N can do is nod, throwing her head back. Every drop of coyness drains from her body.

Rhysand takes the opportunity to connect his lips with her new mating bond. The mark of his fangs is a stark contrast against her flushed skin. Y/N writhes under him as he sucks the freshly injured skin between his lips.

“Oh, is that sensitive?” he rumbles against her skin. Y/N nods again, lacing her fingers through his hair.

Y/N’s chest rises off the bed as Rhys’ thumb makes contact with her throbbing clit.

“And that?”

“Fuckkk, gonna cum, Alpha,” Y/N mewls, her toes curling.

A hand glides across Y/N’s wing, and her world shatters. Stars explose in her vision and every cell and nerve in her body pulse and pound and light on fire.

Y/N can barely control her body and doesn’t know what to do with it at once in the intense pleasure. Her hand slides down and grasps onto Rhysand’s wings, tugging the feathers gently. 

Rhysand’s shouts and moans of pleasure join hers as his hot cum fills Y/N. The overwhelmingly full, warm sensation shocks her as Rhysand’s knot swells into place. Her head falls to the side and her back arches off the mattress. Y/N is subconsciously aware of saying something, but has no control of her words as tears of pleasure glide down her cheeks.

“Holy fucking Mother, ‘s so good, so good oh my god, don’t stop, too much, so full! Fuck feels so good, caldron boil me, fuck you fill me so well, holy fuck feels so full!” Y/N writhes, tugging and twisting on the feathers of Rhysand’s wings.

Rhysand can feel another climax boiling even though his hips had stilled; his knot practically gluing him in place as his mate pulse and squeezes around him. Just the wing stimulation has him right on the edge. 

He grazes his fingers back and forth across his mate’s wings, stimulating her in such a gentle yet instantly pleasurable way. Y/N squirms enough to rock the bed.

“So good, so good, can’t! Oh my Mother, too much!” Y/N babbles, pressing herself further into the mattress. 

“I know, little dove, just one more time. Cum one more time for your mate. I’m gonna cum too, pump you so full of my pups you’ll hardly be able to walk,” Rys groans.

They had never talked about having children before, but in that moment, Rhysand has an uncontrollable need to keep his pretty mate knocked up, glowing, and dripping his cum for the rest of her life.

“One more time,” he repeats as he presses his thumb against the hypersensitive spot on her wing, simultaneously grinding into her as much as his swollen knot will allow. 

“Rhysand!” Y/N screams as he fills her again. Night explodes through the room.

His load of cum fills her to the brim. It feels she’s about to burst as her climax hits her. Y/N’s vision blacks out and all she can feel is Rhysand’s hot cum.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, little dove,” Rhysand moans.

A night drenched breeze cools her sticky skin as the world comes back into reach. Her eyes flutter open to see Rhys panting above her.

“Wow,” she moans breathilly.

“Wow,” he repeats, smirking at her.

Y/N lets go of Rhysand’s wings as she realizes how tight she was gripping them.

“Fuck, are your wings okay? I didn’t know I was being so…”

“Rough? Don’t worry, I liked it, little dove,” Rhys chuckles, flipping them over so Y/N is resting on top of him. She collapses against him.

A whimper slips from her lips and Rhyand’s knot slips deepers inside of her.

“I know, baby,” Rhysand coos, “It’ll go down soon. How are you feeling?”

“Good,” Y/N whispers.

“Good,” he repeats, gently rubbing her back.

Y/N’s eyes droop shut and she feels sleep calling as Rhys taps her gently. She hums in response.

“I think I found my new favorite snack,” 

Masterlist

Don't forget to like, reblog, and follow<3!

Taglist:

@liidiaaag

@flourishandblotts-inc

@aagn360

@smromanoff

[bettafishblr]

Fish ownership on a budget:

Do your research before you get the fish. I cannot emphasize this enough. It may not seem like a budgeting tip, but you WILL waste money going in blind. You'll buy stuff you don't need, buy the wrong thing and have to replace it, hurt your fish and need to buy treatment, etc. Sick fish are expensive fish, and it's not fair to make an animal suffer because you're impatient.

Save up and buy supplies gradually. This allows you to wait and find the best deals, as well as avoid the shock of dropping $200 on fish tank stuff all at once. Impulse buys are not your friend.

Buy the tank and filter first, if possible. You'll want to start your cycle as soon as possible, since it can take awhile (weeks) depending on tank size. I'll make a post about what that means later, but trust me, it's important.

If you live where there's Petco stores, wait until they have their Dollar Per Gallon sale. It is what it sounds like; a 10 gallon tank (good size for a betta) will cost you $10. Capitalism stupid, so make it work for you.

If you don't live where there's Petco stores, you might try buying a used tank. Garage sales, Ebay, Facebook Marketplace, whatever. Make sure it can hold water before buying, and clean it well once you get it home.

Some folks will try to sell you a tank at the price they bought it for; do not buy at that price if you can help it. Wait a bit longer and there will be someone who's selling at a more reasonable price. Fish tanks do not have high resale value once they have been used.

Guppies are a popular beginner fish, and they breed a lot. Most livebearers do. Don't slut shame them, just get a big tank, or all one sex. All females might still bring about fry (babies) as they might be pregnant when you get them. All males will still need a good sized tank as you need a lot of fish and a lot of plants/decor to avoid fighting.

If you've got a friend with guppies, you might be able to get a few for free/cheap. I am not kidding when I say these guys breed a lot.

"Feeder fish" are often priced cheaply, but they may not actually be a cheap fish in the long run. Goldfish need very large tanks, and a strong filter as they produce a LOT of waste. Feeder fish in general may also be sickly, partially because of poor breeding, partly because of how easily disease spreads in the stressful situations they are usually kept in. That's not to say they can't be good pets, but be aware of the risk.

If you're going to buy it often, buy it in bulk if possible. You'll usually save money that way (Exception is food if your fish is a picky eater. Nobody wants to be stuck with a fucking gallon of fish food your Gordon-Ramsay-In-Fish-Form refuses to eat).

Embrace the ugly. You may have decided to get a fish for the aesthetic pleasure, but you must remember that it is a living being above all. Fish tanks can be beautiful, and there's no reason they shouldn't be! But if you can't manage pretty and healthy, it is your responsibility to prioritize the health and wellbeing of your fish, whether the tank looks how you want it or not. You might like to be able to see your fish at all times, but if having limited hiding spaces stresses them out, give them somewhere to hide.

[liu-lang]

fostering cats in beijing was really good for my mental health and it put me in touch with a community of animal lovers. taikoo lives paris and mango's forever home is in the UK. so when the opportunity came up to earn a little extra money in pet care, i thought it would be really nice to have animals in my life again.

now i'm house-sitting / dog-sitting for a family who is on summer vacation in europe (they're european). they have a 3 year old french bulldog named pavlo. this experience is teaching me that as much as i love dogs, i'm a cat person at heart and my lifestyle is more conducive for a cat. pavlo is a pandemic puppy and has never been left alone before so a major stipulation and why it was so hard to find someone is that i have to stay in their house. they also live quite far out in queens (like past the last stop on the 7 train). it actually works out since i'm a short enough distance where it's convenient for me to still stop by my apartment every 2 to 3 days.

french bulldogs are ... notoriously high needs dogs bc they're brachycephalic. i believe he already has had surgery for BOAS. he was the runt of his litter, has a merle coat, partial heterochromia in both eyes where each eye is half blue and half brown, apparently his snout is not as pushed in as it should be (i cannot imagine what other difficulties breathing he would have had if his snout met the breed standard bc he is struggling as is) and the pink nose he was born with didn't turn fully black.

he only drinks bottled european mineral water from a natural spring and after his walks, his paws get wiped down with baby wipes and he gets a spoonful of greek yoghurt to cool down, his favourite treats are freeze dried single ingredient salmon. his meals are a concoction involving his 100% human-grade ingredients pre-portioned fresh dog food and his supplements (like bovine colostrum ??) and dog-safe bone broth and fish oil. he needs eye drops consistently, doesn't know how to use the stairs so i have to carry him up to bed every night, has immense separation anxiety where i can't go to the bathroom or take a shower by myself (i do understand they've been selectively bred to be entirely dependent on their owners) and most terrifying of all for me is when i take him on walks, he sounds like a pig and i'm afraid he might get heat stroke / asphyxiate any moment.

understandably they have cameras around the house - which i thought was for me but then i realise the level of sight they were at and they were for the dog. the dad of the family told me that once he rushed home from his work day bc the cameras didn't detect any movement from pavlo all day - turns out he was just stuck on the stairs trying to go up them looking for his owners who were just out of the house at their jobs.

taking care of him brought this article to mind... i have complicated feelings about how much care this dog needs and the ethics on this breed's existence considering what it takes to give him the best quality of life he can have due to all his medical problems. the interesting thing is when i take him on walks, everyone he approaches says one or both of these things 1) he is so cute 2) does he have asthma ? is his breathing okay ? ... and i awkwardly smile and say he's okay, just excited but it really troubles me that ppl can really look at him and feel such endearment when i feel more distress and pity.

he is still a very sweet, loyal and cuddly dog and i'm glad for his sake that his family found someone he clicked with.

[xenon-demon]

For the Steddie Ask Game: 5 & 11!

WOOOO OKAY I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK #11 :D Thank you so much for the ask!

5. If they had pets what would they be?

So I don't think either of them had a pet growing up - Steve because his parents didn't want an animal shedding fur all over the house or causing a ruckus, and Eddie because by the time he wanted a pet he was already living with Wayne and the trailer's way too small for most pets. Eddie does, however, go out of his way to befriend the stray cats of the trailer park and leave food out for them; he's named them all and says they all have very distinct personalities.

Once they're living together and have their own place, however, they definitely get a dog. Steve has always dreamed about having a dog, something on the bigger side, that he can play with and take with him when he goes jogging at the local park. Eddie is fine with getting a bigger dog - he might be more partial to cats thanks to his devoted following of stray cats back in the trailer park, but he's one of those people who's partial to both - but they do have some arguments about what specific breed to get. It's settled when Steve says that Eddie's welcome to get a cat of his choice if he lets Steve choose what breed of dog they get - and that's how they end up with Maverick the labrador retriever (he's one of the chocolate-coloured ones) and Elvira the incredibly spoiled housecat (who's black with some white patches).

(Also, after a while, Eddie finally twists Steve's arm into letting him realize some of his more exotic pet dreams. Eddie absolutely gets a pet snake and he's in love with her.)

11. Which one would confess their attraction/love first? Why?

(Okay this post got super long because of my chronic case of can't shut the fuck up, so I'm putting my answer to this one under a cut lmao)

OOOOOOH BOY OKAY *rubs hands together gleefully* In terms of fic, I can read/write it going either way (depending on the AU/interpretation of the characters/events leading up to the confession) but assuming we're going with a classic post-canon "vecna's dead but everyone else is fine actually" type of setting...

I think Eddie is the one who confesses first, but he's not planning for it to be a confession. See, I'm a die-hard truther of Confident Bisexual Steve Harrington™, and let me tell you, the moment that man realises he likes Eddie he is laying it on thick. Sure, not as thick as he would with girls (because homophobia is a thing, and also he's not as sure-footed with seducing another guy as he is a girl) but he is absolutely hitting Eddie with the full power of the Harrington Charm. Eddie, who is really not used to being pursued by other men (especially not like this; usually if someone's pursuing him, it's in a gay club with the intention being a bathroom quickie) absolutely does not know how to handle this. Doesn't help that Eddie's got a tiiiiiiny little complex about being inherently unlovable/"too much" for other people and commitment issues as a result of that, so he's terrified of letting anyone get too close for fear they'll realise Eddie actually is too much and leave him.

So Eddie is being driven slowly insane by Steve's relentless charisma until one day he snaps and asks Steve what the actual fuck is going on here. Because he's so frazzled (and a little insane because of the Steve of it all), he accidentally exposes himself as being very into Steve in return. Steve is thrilled, tells Eddie that what's going on here is that he really likes Eddie, and how about they kiss about it and maybe go on a date sometime? (Plus or minus the miscommunication spice of Mr Commitment Issues Munson saying "oh but this is just a fuckbuddies thing right" and Steve going "oh god oh fuck- I mean haha yeah sure" and them having 20k words of angst about it before Sorting Their Shit Out™.)

I don't think Steve would take the plunge of actually confessing because he, too, has a complex about being inherently unlovable and not being good enough for just about anyone he cares about, really, but especially Eddie. Plus, he has a lingering fear that he bullied Eddie directly in high school and forgot about it, or that Eddie might have forgiven Steve for his asshole jock days enough to be his friend but not enough to be his boyfriend. He's confident enough in himself to flirt with Eddie, especially after the first few tentative tries get what look like positive responses, but he's absolutely not going to put himself out there without some plausible deniability. If Eddie wants him, Steve reasons, then all he has to do is make it obvious that he likes Eddie back and then Eddie will make a move, right?

These boys are So Clueless and have So Many Issues and I need them to kiss on the mouth about it.

Ask me about my Steddie opinions! (steddie-pinions?)

[frostbite-the-bat]

what do you do in petz + how the fuck is spam tong in petz

ok, so! petz, or in this case, PF Magic Petz specifically, is an old, OLD pet simulator game from the 90s! it's made to run on doo-doo potato computers, and uses it's own wacky technonogy called, and bear with me, "ballz", to render the pet models.

there's other games by pf magic, but we'll focus on petz. before they became stinky ubisoft petz. (ubisoft bought petz) nono ignore that. this is PURE FUCKIN' MAGIC PETZ! (thats what pf stands for)

you adopt a dog or a cat... and you take care of it! and unlike most modern pet sims - your pet truly has a personality of its own. for the game's age it's actually surprisingly complex, and the community is finding new things each year! i believe just last year (or two years ago??) we found out petz have FAVORITE COLORS.

each pet is unique in their own way!! signature animations, favorite foods, what relationships they have with other petz, how you've trained them... one pet may love being fed cheese, while the other may not.

of course there's also personalities for each breed, as each breed has it's own personality. i can't explain this one well, so give this a read!

i used to play petz a lot more back then, nowadays i just check in on it sometimes, but the genuine connection you may get to feel towards your silly guys is real.

fun fact i only adopt cats. i dont do my breeding from scratch but the guys i adopt from other people or PUGS (petz universal game site) (i hope i got that right) i dont like the sounds dogs make. i still need to finish graphics for all my cats. heres some of them. i love them.

what really makes this game is the community! it's a small, but surprisingly lively and friendly community! many of these people may even be twice your age, enjoying this silly pet game online with everyone, it's wonderful! the game is very moddable, and people make their own breeds, toys, areas... anything you think of, it can be put in this game with enough time and creativity!

some people make realistic, breeds, and some people make Silly Guys! like me for example! i'm really into fan-made media petz! it's how i got into the game, after all! i've made some hexied (modded petz) of my own!

ralsei is my best example. gif taken from my site

also, most people around the petz community have their own websites! for their downloads, shows, or to show off their petz!! what you can do is endless. i made my site because of that, though it's in constant disrepair and i SWEAR one day i will move to neocities.

and yes!! shows!! people do shows!! you can pose and take pictures of your petz and it'S actually a very pixel precise thing, trying to get your pet to do a show pose! people do these shows on forums and even give each other little graphic trinkets like badges!!

speaking of graphics... STAMPS!! petz fans love stamps!! i collect some, too, but my collection isnt as impressive as some other people.

people even have stamps for their own sites, that's where these come from!!

already creeping to petz spamton, dont worry!

but about petz hexing, i wanna give a shout out to the skinstealer system at the bad_death site. i admire their work so much. check it out!!! i reblog their things sometimes. (well..on my petz blog but i'll start doing so here, too)

ANYWAYS. PETZ SPAMTON. WHAT IN TOON IS THAT.

Well. you prolly werent there for it but petz spamton took some places of the internet by storm and OH BOY WAS IT BOTH REALLY COOL BUT ALSO VERY TIRING SOMETIME. im not the creator, i do not take credit, however i am partially responsible as that entity was created on my server. (after my friends talked about the reanimated joshua and the promised land video from saberspark - its a big collab and we talked about the people who worked on it. one of them was Moonkitti who has a petz profile picture. i then left the convo but my friend who i wont name so they feel comfy <3 remembered petz and had the wonderful idea of Modding Spamton Into It.)

i was graced with being able to see THE BEASTS PREMIERE. AND LATE AT NIGHT, WATCHING A DISCORD CALL OF THIS THING BEING BORN, SCREEN RECORDING IT ON MY PHONE.... LATER USING THE FOOTAGE TO MAKE This Infamous Video.

petz spamton doesnt look like this anymore its had many updates. (you can see the history on my spamtons as id update a new one and keep it with certain updates!! for example otterpop doesnt have colored paw pads, but mango does.) but this is the original. i had an og adopted as well but i lost it </3 BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES. I MISS YOU CHEESE-TON.

and WELL.. PEOPLE LIKED THIS MOD...! much much fanart... and even some drama uh oh please people dont sexualize feral animals. thanks. go to hell and die. it was both very fun but as you can imagine it got overwhelming especially for my friend so i am keeping them anonymous!! they do have a sideblog for petz just named "petzspamton" if you want to see The Og.

it got many people into petz!! it was wonderful to see people discover this old game. hell! even i got into it this way! though as trends are, they usually go away eventually. i stay however because im ill. hashtag number one spamton pet breeder. dont take it the wrong way. i like spamton mixies.

oh yeah! the breeding in this game! SURPRISINGLY VERY COMPLEX. WONT BE GETTING INTO IT. but! two petz can have a baby! including modded petz! it can create Monstrosities. but some are niceys! i like both the cursed ones because funny but also getting some niceys to keep :) i have many mixed spamtons!!

for example iceshock (white) and creature! (grey)

the possibilities truly are endless !!

but yeah. the hype died down but its always funny meeting people, talking about interests, we get to deltarune. I mention petz, then they say oh yeah petz spamton i know that AND THEN THEY REALIZE WHO I AM "YOU MADE THAT SPAMTON VIDEO" BRUH IT HAS 4K VIEWS ONLY LIKE HOW DO YOU FIND THIS SHIT . THIS HAPPENED ONCE OVER SOMEONE I MET ON A FUCKING CLUB PENGUIN PRIVATE SERVER. i do not like micro fame but oh my god this shit is always so fucking insane and funny to me i love it i love being a fucking cryptid. BUT ANYWAYS

things layed dormant. petz spamton server dead as hell. my own server #living tho #gaming #swag #iamruinbornaftonialwayscomeback.

and then... THEN... SPAMTON SWEEPSTAKES OCCURS. AND THERES A PETZ MENTION THERE. DID WE CAUSE THAT? OR IS IT TOBY JUST LIKING OLD GAMES AS HE DOES.

WELL READ MORE HERE BECAUSE I TALKED ABOUT THIS ON MY WEBBED SITE !

BUT YES. SPAMTON IS IN PETZ NOW. IM PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE. ITS PROBABLY BEEN REFERENCED BY TOBY FOX??? IF YES THEN I HAVE 2 NICKELS FOR HAVING A THING IM RESPONSIBLE/PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING NOTICED BY THE CREATORS. NOT A LOT BUT WEIRD IT HAPPENED TWICE.

PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY SPAMTONS. I LOVE THEM.

but man if i may get goopy orizfhhguguughh ill be fr height of petz spamton hype got Tiring .im sosososos glad the server we had for it was tiny as hell and secret because MAN. URUGHH

[knotbinary]

hello ! (pls don’t feel obligated to answer this, I know this is kinda a weird ask) im working on making a monster dating sim game (which currently I’m in the planning stage of) and am attempting to conduct some market research here on tumblr 😅. I really love ur blog and was just wondering if you’ve noticed any trends in terms of wat monsters/ monster tropes that tend to do well with your posts ? It doesn’t have to be anything detailed, just general vibes if you’ve noticed any - tho totally chill if u haven’t. Again ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE to respond to this, I don’t want to take up ur time (if you’ve even read this far thank you). Sorry for the strange ask ! and thank you for posting amazing content you’re literally one of my favourite blogs

I'm not sure how much help I can be because I don't tend to notice these things, but I can share with you which of my posts are most popular and perhaps you can extrapolate from there. Keep in mind, though, some of these posts did well because I reblogged them to my main (@roguemonsterfucker) and that blog has a lot more followers than this one.

A werewolf who hasn’t told their partner that they’re a werewolf yet, but they buy their partner knotted dildos to test the waters and prepare them…

being left as the sacrifice for the old gods at the edge of the forest. but you are found by the pack of werewolves instead. (cont.)

I’m a simple person. I see fangs and I get hard.

A magic monster dildo. It gains power as you use it until eventually it can take its full form. In the middle of using it, suddenly it becomes an actual monster and starts fucking you.

Oh to be tied up and used as a breeding mount for all manner of horny creatures. (cont.)

A backyard barbecue to get to know your new partner’s friends turns into a werewolf pack gang bang. (cont.)

Thinking about how after sex with a werewolf, you’re knotted for a while and you spend that time just chatting, bonding, maybe even snacking on some food you kept handy.

Can’t get the idea of being a pet to a werewolf and vampire out of my head. (cont.)

Those are all my posts on this blog with a considerable amount of notes.

I'll say, it's interesting that the living dildo one is already so high up on the list considering I only posted it ten days ago. A lot of these posts took weeks or even months to get the amount of notes they have now.

Another that I seem to recall doing well quickly was ironically the other dildo one. Though I think that's partially because I reblogged it to my main, which I don't usually do.

I used this website to find my most popular original posts: https://jetblackcode.com/TumblrNoteCounter

I hope this helps somehow! And I hope you'll let us know when you have the game available! We need more monster dating sims! 🥰

[bluejayblueskies]

Jonmartin with 20 or 76 for the kiss prompts!

kiss prompt list!

20 - surprised kiss | 76 - top of head kisses

this is both! ft. domestic married jmart in a no-supernatural au

.

A small mmrp! is the only warning Martin gets before something very fluffy and very orange jumps onto the kitchen counter beside him.

 “Hey, no,” Martin chides, scooping the as-yet-unnamed cat into his arms and lowering him gently to the ground. He points a stern finger at the small, curious face staring up at him and says, “I know you’re new here, but you’ll have to learn the house rules eventually. And I know I’ll have to be the one to enforce them, because the moment Jon sees your cute little face he’s going to just- just let you do whatever you please.”

 The cat lets out another mmrp before rubbing his face affectionately against Martin’s leg.

 “Right,” Martin says with a soft smile, crouching down and scratching underneath the cat’s chin. “You haven’t met him yet, but Jon’s going to love you. You’re just going to have to- to look at him and he’ll love you.” Quieter, to himself, Martin mumbles, “I hope he’ll love you.”

 A cat isn’t a typical anniversary gift, sure, but it’s not like they hadn’t been talking about it. They’d looked into a few shelters, made a list of the things they’d need to buy in order to make their flat pet-friendly, but Jon’s workload had increased drastically a few weeks ago and discussions had fallen to the wayside. Martin had spent a frankly ridiculous amount of time scanning through Jon’s meticulous notes about preferred breeds, ages, and dispositions before spending an even more ridiculous amount of time visiting every shelter within a 50-kilometer radius of them.

 He may also have two cardboard boxes full of cat toys, food, litter, and other items stowed away in the back of the linens closet. He’s nothing if not prepared.

The quiet thump of paws on marble drags Martin out of his thoughts, and he looks up to see the cat stood atop the counter again, tail swishing back and forth with excitement.

 “No,” Martin says, standing and lifting the cat carefully up so he can look him firmly in the eyes. “We do not jump on the counter. The counter is where we cook, and Jon stress-cleans enough as it is—we don’t need to give him the extra incentive.”

 The cat’s mouth stretches open in a wide yawn, revealing rows of sharp teeth, before blinking passively at him.

 “Right,” Martin says again with a resigned nod. He tucks the cat against his chest experimentally, feeling the rumbling purr against his skin, and presses his nose into the soft orange fur on the nape of the cat’s neck. “Did you know that Jon and I got married a year ago today? Oh, of course not, you're a cat. Well, we did. Honestly, though, it- it feels like yesterday. Things since then have just been… nice. Christ, so nice, and- and I love him, you know? You’re going to love him too—he’s got this, like, this thing where cats just adore him on sight. Tim likes to call him the ‘cat whisperer,’ and Jon pretends like it annoys him because, heh, you know, otherwise it would go right to Tim’s head, but Jon adores you guys. With your- your little paws, and your little ears, and your- ow, ow, your claws—"

 Martin gently, yet gracelessly, lets the cat spill free from his arms and onto the lino. He rubs at his arm, gives the cat a stern look, and says, “Is that any way to treat your father?”

 The cat looks up at him and meows loudly.

 “Don’t talk back,” Martin says with faux disappointment, crossing his arms across his chest. After a moment, his resolve breaks, and he bends down to scratch between the cat’s ears gently, a fond smile spreading across his face.

 Martin’s halfway back to standing when the doorknob rattles. His first thought is oh, Jon’s home early. Then: wait, Christ, nothing’s ready yet. Then: shit, the cat!

 Martin’s reflexes are, predictably, less acute than the fluffy apex predator who’s currently making his way to the front door at breakneck speed, meowing loudly enough that Martin’s sure Jon can already hear it through the still-closed door. Martin has just enough time to take a few, anxious steps toward the door before it swings open and Jon shoulders his way through, arms laden with stacks of folders and books and papers. Martin decides that he'll chide Jon for bringing work home on their anniversary later and instead prioritizes coming up with a speech he thought he still had several hours to prepare in approximately five seconds.

 “Oh, hello,” Jon says, kicking the door shut behind him and rearranging the pile of work in his hands so it doesn’t slip. “Elias let me go early—albeit with a mountain of paperwork, good Lord—so I thought I’d…”

 He trails off as a small, insistent mmrp! cuts through the air. Martin squeezes his eyes shut and says, quietly, “Ah, right. That’s… that’s nice of him?”

 “I… I suppose,” Jon says, sounding a bit lost. There’s a shuffling noise, and Martin opens his eyes a crack to see Jon depositing the stack of papers on the side table by the couch before turning, slowly, back to the cat. “Is… sorry, I- I’m not… is there meant to be a cat in our flat?”

 The cat meows, and Martin says weakly, “Happy anniversary?”

 “Oh,” Jon says. Then, after a moment, his mouth curves into a small smile, and he repeats, softly, “Oh.”

 Jon crouches down and shifts so he’s kneeling on the ground, sitting back on his heels that way Martin’s never been flexible enough to do. “Hello,” he says quietly, holding out a hand for the cat to sniff. “And who might you be?”

 “He doesn’t have a name yet,” Martin says, still reeling from the abruptness of the last thirty seconds. “I- I thought… you might like to name him?”

 Jon hums in thought, letting the cat push his head into his hand before beginning to scratch gently underneath his chin. “I… I don’t really know,” he says. “Georgie was always the one who was good at naming, I- I just sort of went along with it for the Admiral.”

 “Could always go generic,” Martin suggests, feeling his heart swell with affection as the cat yawns again and Jon’s face lights up. “You know, like- like Whiskers, or…”

 Jon gives Martin an unimpressed look. “Certainly not. That would be like naming our child… Leg, or something equally ridiculous.”

 Martin tries to ignore the way his heart stutters at the words our child and says, in a small voice, “Yeah, that… that would be silly.”

 Jon’s expression folds into something soft and fond, and he says, “I’ve… I’ve always been partial to Clarence, if… if that’s all right with you, I suppose.”

 Something must show on Martin’s face, because Jon quickly clarifies, “For- for the cat, that is, not, er- not for a… an actual child—”

 “Yeah, yeah, of course,” Martin says quickly, his cheeks growing hot.

 “—because- because Clarence isn’t really- well, it’s, it’s not bad, it’s just, I don’t—”

 “—absolutely, yes, I- I agree, one-hundred percent—”

 “—just, just for… for the cat.”

 “Mm-hmm,” Martin says in a high-pitched voice, fully giving up on pretending like his face isn’t flushed a bright red. His mouth twitches up into a smile, almost against his will, and he says, “For the cat. Of course.”

 “Of course,” Jon echoes. The moment of silence between them is broken by an accusatory meow, and Jon’s laugh at that is something that Martin wants to bottle up and treasure forever. “My apologies, Clarence,” he says, scooping the cat up in his arms and pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. “I wasn’t giving you nearly enough attention. A grievous error on my part.”

 “You’re going to spoil him,” Martin says teasingly. “He’ll be insufferable.”

 Clarence lets out a happy chirp of agreement.

 Carefully, Jon stands, Clarence still tucked securely in his arms, and steps closer so he can press a soft, lingering kiss to Martin’s lips. “Thank you,” he whispers, pulling back just enough that he can rest his forehead against Martin’s. “I love you.”

 “I love you too,” Martin says.

 There’s a disgruntled mmrp, and Jon’s mouth curves into an amused smile. “I love you as well,” he says, giving Clarence another kiss on the top of his head. Then, teasingly: “Maybe even a bit more than your father.”

 Martin lets out a long, exaggerated groan. “I can’t believe this. Less than five minutes in our home and you’re already stealing my husband from me.” He reaches over and scratches Clarence’s belly fondly. “Disrespectful. Utterly abhorrent.”

 Clarence makes a pleased little noise before starting to purr audibly.

 “We’ll need food,” Jon says absently, one hand scratching underneath Clarence’s chin. “Litter, bowls, toys…”

 Martin grins, a bit giddily. “Oh, way ahead of you.”

[your-nerd-is-showing]

Kinkmas 2021 Collab

Artist credit to my AMAZING friend Yssah for this commission for me 🥰🥰

It's back and better than ever! Kinkmas 2021 😏

Leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list 💜

The Kinkmas 2021 open collab event! This year includes AOT, JJK and MHA! All underage characters are aged up to 18.

I thought it would be fun to host this as a collab this year! If you want to participate either message me or send in an ask so I can keep track of who is joining!

Rules

Anyone can join this is a completely open event!

Use the #Kinkmas 2021 when you post!

Obviously tag me and please reblog once you join in 🥰

Deadline is supposed to be Christmas but life happens so I'll keep the collab open until the end February!

Characters can be done more than once seeing as I will obviously be taking Satoru and many of us love that galaxy eyed hottie, we all can write some kinks about him 😏

That being said one kink per character so two people can't do bondage for Eren 🤭

Focus on one major kink for this collab you can use some other ones that play into the main kink, like Amaurophilia (blindfold kink) and bondage can go together but mainly focus on one of those!

Minimum of 500 words! One shots, Drabbles, thirst's, headcannons and imagines all welcome 💜

You can write for more than one character if you feel inspired enough! More is ALWAYS BETTER

So far I have @eva-gates @nessyackerman @nkogneatho @shintin joining me in this wonderful collab!

Below I have some prompts that I wrote up if you want to use one let me know so I can cross it off the list!

Shoto x Reader: temperature control. You and Shoto have been dating through almost all of high school. Tonight is special its your three year anniversary and Shoto has the perfect night planned, romantic dinner in a private room, a moonlit boat ride and finally your first time being intimate. Shoto has a secret kink he wants to use his quirk on you in the bedroom.

Levi x Reader: Dirty Kink. Even though Levi it a total clean freak something about you coming back from training all dirty and sweaty just turns him on so much. Your shirt is soaking wet showing your bra through it he can't keep his hands off you!

Satoru x Reader: Breeding Kink. Gojo really wants to put a baby in you. In fact he wants to so badly he fucks you any chance he gets and he doesn’t care where you two are.

Taken by @your-nerd-is-showing (sorry not sorry 🤭)

Katsuki x Reader: Odaxelagina Biting Kink. Katsuki has a major biting kink almost to the point of being a masochist. He loves to bite you to the point where he draws blood and he loves it when you bite him. His favorite is to take you in public places usually around your classmates and see how long you can keep quiet.

Eren x Reader: Bondage Kink. Eren has a secret Master/bondage kink that he wants to explore with his girlfriend (Y/N). He loves to roleplay with you this time it’s in the holding cells and you’re his prisoner.

Taken by @eva-gates

Suguru Reader: Threesomes. Suguru has this obsession with having threesomes with Satoru…. Not that you’re complaining…. You get railed by the two hottest guys in Japan on the daily.

Taken by @shintin

Kink Ideas: (you don’t have to use these they’re just ideas if you want to use them)

Food Kink

Amaurophilia (blindfold kink)

Marking

Blade play

Daddy kink

Pet kink

Dirty Talk

Roleplaying

Orgasm Denial

Pteronphilia (Tickling Kink)

Spanking.

Shibari

Switch Kink.

Agoraphilia (public sex)

Corsetry

Exhibitionism

Face Sitting

Mixophilia (recording sex)

Wax play

Dacryphilia.

Partialism.

JJK:

Satoru x Reader~ Breeding kink by @your-nerd-is-showing

Megumi x Reader~ Mixophilia by @eva-gates

Yuji x Reader~ Face Sitting by @eva-gates

Suguru x Reader x Satoru: Threesomes by @shintin

Sukuna x Reader: Stigmatophilia by @nkogneatho

AOT:

@eva-gates @nessyackerman @ekaterinatepes @nkogneatho @sassyeahhhh @sinnerheadcannons @megnotfound @marimagines @floweryimagine @divine-delight

Eren x Reader~ Bondage Kink by @eva-gates

Levi x Reader~ Drity Talk/Dom Levi by @nessyackerman

My Masterlist

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 here!

A/N: I already know some of y’all are going to be mad, it’s 2020 and twilight needs some diversity, don’t @ me.

* You’re not really sure how you got here

* “This ones done”

* Edward holds out the blood bag to you, carefully pulling out the needles from you beloved Deer, Hayden.

* “Ah, thank you.” You place it carefully along with the others, before lavishing Hayden with affection

* “You were so good today! You’re going to get extra carrots, yes you are!”

* You’re aware of Edwards gaze on you as he disinfects the injection point.

* “You know it’s illegal to have Deer as pets in Alaska don’t you?” The corner of his mouth is quirked in the smallest smirk you have ever seen, and you roll your eyes

* “Tanya got a permit, the official stance is they’re her deer, I just take care of them for some extra pocket money”

* Not that anyone would venture into the “siren house” to ask questions

* You knew people were probably wary of coming up to the estate, even the mail man looked dead scared when he left Irina’s Lululemon packages in the mailbox

* But you didn’t think the locals legit called the manse “The Siren House”

* Edward told you they used to call it “The Witch House” but then, upon seeing the Denali sisters, changed it to Siren

* Edward doesn’t say anything, just moves to take the filled blood bags up to the house

* Ever the gentleman

* You really thought Edward would show up once, figure out he couldn’t read your mind, and retreat into his own moody silence.

* You figured you would mostly be dealing with Carlisle, who would teach you how to draw blood from your heard of deers, and then you would be on your own.

* But instead it was Edward who volunteered to do it for you, Carlisle was busy with his day job after all.

* He shows up once a week, usually after school, and carefully extracts the blood

* Then he puts them inside the fridge and leaves

* You really don’t get what’s going on, if he hates you so much why even bother coming over in the first place

* You’re about to fall into your usual rhythm of handing him the blood bags, which he then puts in the fridge when he breaks your routine

* “Why-“ your head pops up from the small pile of blood bags and to him. He’s looking away, but then his gaze meets yours. “Why go through all this trouble for a few deer.”

* You grin and hand him a blood bag

* “Another vampire might say the same thing to you, why go through all the trouble for a few humans?”

* He flinches, and you laugh. He’s so unaware of himself it’s actually funny

* “For the record, I do it because they remind me of my (Dog/Cat/Pet).” He quirks an eyebrow at that.

* “Your pet?”

* You nod. You’re number one concern on arrival here had been whether your dog was okay, but sifting through your memories of this life, you realized your dog had passed away in the middle of high school.

* “When I look into their face, all I can think about is my dog” you shrug, it’s the same with bears and other animals too.

* “Also, it’s kinda disgusting to drink that blood straight out of the animal.”

* Draining the blood must have deducted something from the taste, you can’t imagine what that skunky revolting flavor would have been like if you were drinking straight from the animal.

* Edward laughs. It’s the first time he’s laughed around you, pearly white canines in full view, the skin at the corner of his eyes folds

* It’s cute, very boyish. You get what Bella was talking about now

* “You get used to it after a while” he shrugs

* You shake your head, no one should ever have to drink that crap

* “Here, try some of my blood” you say it like you’re offering him some cookies you made. You pick up one of the bags, still warm, and he quirks an eyebrow

* This isn’t the first time you’ve offered, usually he declines and rushes to leave

* One time it looked like he might say yes, but then he noticed Tanya and excused himself.

* He accepts the bag, holding it up with one hand

* “Do you pour it in a mug?”

* And so you and Edward sip your blood-Capri-suns in the kitchen that’s only now started to be used

* You sit in the counter cross legged, while he leans against the adjacent counter. Both of you silently sipping your meals.

* “This is really good” he finally says, his blood bag almost empty.

* “Who’d you have? I’ve been trying to add different veggies to their meal to see if it brings out a different flavour profile.”

* He had Henrietta, who you had been giving more citrus too. Partially for flavour, and partially because she’s your favourite

* “It kind of tastes like...fruit punch” Edward recalls after a prolonged minute.

* He seems so nostalgic, you wonder how long it’s been since he’s had human food

* “I think genetics have something to do with the flavour too, the breed from this region all seem to have a fruity aftertaste”

* “I’m partial to deer since they don’t have a strong game taste aftertaste.”

* “Yes! That part is the worst, it’s like eating a skunk” You scowl and he laughs again.

* You know he doesn’t belong to you, he’s Bella’s, in a few years she’ll be all he thinks or cares about.

* But maybe the two of you can be friends until then.

* All at once the moments broken, Edward stands a bit straighter, the smile on his face gone.

* You turn to look behind you to see Carmen.

* Her head is tilted to the side, a smile tugging on her lips

* “You both look like you’re having fun.”

* After that the conversation is pleasant, but it definitely stutters until Edward eventually leaves.

* “I think he likes you” You’re reading a book by the fire, the gentle heat is nice and it sets the mood.

* “What?”

* Carmen’s grinning

* “The Cullen boy is interested in you.”

* You just shake your head. You doubt it, Edwards only got a one track mind for one person. And it’s not you

* “It would be nice if we could be friends though, I don’t really know many other people my physical age.”

* Carmen stops mid-stitch on her embroidery hoop

* “Is that something you want? Because the Cullen’s have other’s your a-“

* “I don’t need you to set up play dates for me Carmen”

* “Understood”

* Edward comes by regularly, to help you with your animals. You’re both always under the (discrete) supervision of one of your guardians (excluding Tanya of course.)

* And with each visit you learn a little more about him

* You find out that right now he’s masquerading as a senior in high school, he’s considering going to college for veterinary sciences

* “Why veterinary sciences?” You wonder if he’s about to poach your best deer and start his own blood business when he shrugs

* “It’s one of the few degrees I don’t have”

* You’re drinking blood-Capri-suns out on the porch, he’s still in his school clothes, including a very puffy jacket

* “What were you going to do?” Your raise an eyebrow and he elaborates “before you turned, what were you plans for the future.”

* “I was on my graduation trip, I was going to college in the fall”

* You got accepted into your safety school with a generous scholarship.

* Edward doesn’t press any further. But you can tell that he wants too.

* Many nights go by, you experiment with you animals diets, have supervised hang-outs with Edward, you meet Carlisle every so often who basically gives you therapy and helps you control your emotions

* Life is good

* But your growing complacency with the situation is starting to bother you

* You haven’t forgotten about Alec and Jane who are still fighting so hard to survive, or the countless others who would prefer this way of life if they only knew

* You know the minute you start being content is the minute the world wins

* So every night -or really every so often, you’ve lost all perception of time, the nights in Alaska are totally fucked and these heathens don’t even have a damn clock. Your only really sign of time is the mail man dropping off amazon packages- you sit and dream

* You think about giving back to the community, about saving your friends, and about dethroning fucking Aro

* You’re only at the beginning now, there’s still so much work to do, but it’s a start

* You hear a noise and your eyes open

* If you had a beating heart it would stutter when it saw Edward standing beside your bed, your hand moves on it’s own through reflex, clutching your heart

* Under the circumstances you would expect someone else to laugh, but Edward just looks confused

* “Are you...sleeping?”

* “I like to pretend, it’s a nice way to end the day” he raises an eyebrow at that

* “It’s 4 in the afternoon”

* “Well damn Edward, we don’t have any clocks in this house, how am I supposed to know what time it is.”

* He does laugh at that

* “Is it...nice?”

* “Yeah, it’s pretty relaxing, kills some time too.” Noticing the curious look on his face, you ask:

* “Do you want to try?” You pat the space on the bed beside you.

* You’re fully expecting for Edward with his old fashioned virtues to deny your suggestion. So you’re surprised that after several long seconds of silence, and a rather pained look, he adheres to your request and lies next to you on your bed.

* It’s a king size bed, so he’s at least three Great Danes away from you, but the closeness still surprises you.

* “What do I do now?” He says, eyes closed.

* “Daydream, or fantasise I guess, about things that happened in your day, or things you wish happened, places you want to go and memories you wish you could relive”

* “What do you usually dream about?” He asks, eyes open now

* “I think about Jane,” the answer is automatic, and you regret it as soon as the words come out. But Edward’s expression doesn’t change so you continue. “I think about my deers and my family too.” Most of the time you’re just thinking about what animal you want to excitement with next tbh

* “And sometimes I think about you.”

* And how glad you are to have a friend

* Edward doesn’t say anything for a long time, and for a second you hope he hasn’t misunderstood your words, you know he’ll never feel that way about you. All of those romantic feelings are saved for Bella

* “Would you like to come to my house sometime?” The questions throws you off, and your expression illicit’s a laugh from him. “Emmett and Esme are dying to meet the newborn from the Denali coven”

* That’s probably true for Esme, you’re pretty sure Emmett just wants to have some physical match with the “Volturi-reject”

* “That sounds fun, sure.”

* Maybe they have a clock in their house you can steal

* Edward shows up the next day in his shiny white Volvo to pick you up.

* On either side of you on the front porch are Carmen and Kate with their most fierce expressions (and behind them is Eleazer who just looks like he’s along for the ride)

* “Where are you going?” Kate asks

* “Our home on the other side of the mountain, you’ve been there before” Edwards got a small smile curling in his lips, and an eyebrow raised.

* “What will you do?” Carmen asks

* “My family’s having a board game night, I think we’re playing monopoly”

* “What time will you bring them home?” Kate intervenes, man they’re not even pretending to be polite

* “Well it’s not a school night-“ Seeing his joke isn’t going to land, he rethinks his words midway

* “Whenever they tell me to.”

* You’re half expecting to get a curfew, even though this household seems to operate without the concept of time, when Eleazer interjects

* “Well be safe, and have a good time.” He slides a backpack up your shoulders. “I packed you some blood bags in case you get hungry, Henrietta’s since I know that’s your favourite.”

* He’s the only one waving as you get into Edward’s car

* The view as you drive is breath taking, the snow covered mountains, abs crisp green trees

* Edward laughs beside you, at your awestruck expression no doubt

* “You don’t get out much do you?”

* You have your nose practically pressed to the glass

* “Not at all.”

* The Cullen’s home is reminiscent of the one from the movies. All light, with glass everywhere. It’s like a aurora, all wavy with no true shape

* “Welcome to our home (Y/N)” Carlisle greats you first, and behind him is... Esme

* She’s not at all like the books or the movie

* She’s definitely not white, you can’t tell exactly what race, but she’s definitely a POC.

* Her caramel cheekbones seem even more prominent when she offers you a smile.

* “It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’m Esme.”

* For some reason her being a POC, makes you feel more comfortable around her.

* Maybe you will ask her to draw up those plans for a proper barn.

* Edward stifles a laugh behind you, and you raise an eyebrow.

* “Emmett is dying to meet you upstairs.”

* You follow Edward up the stairs, finally meeting the family that spawned four books and a movie franchise.

* None of them look like they’re actor counterparts

* For one Emmett is black. And also really handsome, he’s got this Chadwick Boseman look alike thing going on and you’re down for it (RIP)

* Rosalie looks basically the way she was described in the books, all blonde hair and angel faced, but she’s the only one

* Alice is definitely Asian, she kinda looks like Lana Condor

* Jasper.... is ambiguously brown, but it still makes you let out a sigh of relief when you remember he was a Major in the CONFEDERATE army.

* More to the story than someone who was blatantly racist and supported slavery.

* They’re all beautiful, and they terrify you. You’re not exactly sure why, but something primal in you tells you to run away as fast as you can.

* But Edward lightly brushed the small of your back, pushing you forward. Right into the lions den.

* “Hello, I’m Rosalie”

* Looks like they picked her to be their spokesperson, all glittering smiles and flawless cheekbones. She extends her hand, and you lightly grasp it.

* “It’s nice to meet you.”

* It’s surreal to think how you know almost everything about this girl, while you two are virtually strangers

* Jasper introduces himself next, all smiles and quiet gentlemanly behavior.

* You’re not really sure what to expect with Alice, from what you know this girl has seen every future you could possibly have.

* Who knows what she saw

* But when she stands she hugs you

* “It’s good to see you!”

* “Alice, you haven’t introduced yourself”

* “Oh, right. I’m Alice”

* Emmett claps you on the back like you’re an old friend.

* “So, I heard you used to hang out with the sadist twins in the Volturi”

* You can practically feel the tension in the air, even Edward winces

* “They’re not so bad” really, what did anyone expect when they were in that environment

* Emmett grins

* “That’s bad ass”

* The rest of the night passes in a blur. The cullen’s game of monopoly includes some monstrous version where they put 8 different themed boards together and play in teams (You’re obviously on Edward and Alice’s team)

* They also have some sort of structure where they put four hotels together and called it a mega-hotel

* The whole thing blows up when Emmett accused Alice and Edward of using their powers to cheat

* “What do you want me to do, I can’t turn it off when I want Emmett, trust me I would especially when you and-“

* “Oh shut up Emmett, like we haven’t noticed Rosalie has an awful lot of $500 bills” Jasper interjects

* “It’s because you always pay me rent in small change!” She screams

* “Now-“ Carlisle tried to interject but Alice stands up

* “That’s a lie! I saw you steal from the bank several times when Esme wasn’t looking” Alice screams

* It goes on like this until Carlisle Declares the game over, and shoos everyone away.

* “Sorry, I would say it’s usually not like this, but I would be lying” Edward grins and you shrug

* “It was pretty fun and... entertaining in its own way” Edward beams at you, and once again, you definitely feel the dazzling effect Bella described in the movies

* “Should I... take you home now?” You can tell he doesn’t want to take you back yet, and if you’re being honest you don’t want to go back either

* The Cullen’s house has so much light, and you can see the stars so clearly here

* And if you’re being honest things seem to be way more entertaining here

* Edward takes you to a nook which houses a grand piano

* You’re fingers instinctively roam over the keys.

* “Do you play?”

* “Just a bit”

* You’re not the one who knew how to play, not really. But now this body is yours. You’ve thought about asking Carmen for a Piano, you’re sure they would love something that adds to the gothic feel of the mansion, but always cast it aside.

* You’re busy enough with your research.

* “Play me something” Edward grins.

* Alec had said the same thing to you when you were first taken by the Volturi, at the time your mind had raced wondering which piece would impress him the most. Which would aide in your survival.

* But looking at Edward now, you know that it’s not the same situation.

* He really does want you to play whatever your heart desires

* So you play “Love like you”, accompanied by your quiet voice reciting the lyrics

* At some point Edward sits beside you, playing in a deeper key, adding another layer of depth to your performance

* Wordlessly, afterwards he plays a piece of his own, Claire de Lune. Which you know is a remarkably hard piece.

* Still halfway you chime in, your super human fingers keeping up with him with ease

* And so it goes on like this, you play a modern song, waiting for him to catch up and he does the same with a classic

* Like a never ending game of cat and mouse

* It stops abruptly when Edward is in the middle of “moonlight sonata” when Alice clears her throat from behind you.

* “I hate to disturb,” there’s a teasing grin arched on her face. “But if you don’t drop them off, Carmen and Tanya are going to come over personally to retrieve them-“

* You see Edward wince, no doubt reviving Alice’s vision through his ability

* “And I don’t think anyone wants that.”

* You nod, moving to grab your backpack when you overhear Alice say-

* “You never let me play like that with you”

* Edward let’s out some sort of noise akin to a scoff

* “Where did you learn those songs?” He asks when you’re on the road

* Well you can’t tell him they’re from artists who aren’t known yet

* “Personal compositions” you murmur, and Edward grins his dazzling grin

* You talk about nothing but music until you pull into the familiar circle driveway of the manse

* Right when you’re about to thank him for a fun time, he gently stops you with a fleeting touch to your shoulder.

* “I’m graduating next month,” he hands you an envelope which you assume has his graduation card. “I was wondering if you would like to come to the ceremony.”

* You hold the card with both hands stunned, he’s already graduating high school?

* That means only 4 more years until he moves to Forks, and another two until he meets Bella

* And you realize that while time is frozen for both of you until the end of the universe, you’re the only one who isn’t moving forward

* “Yeah, I’d love that!”

* You try your best to smile, but your sure it comes off looking strange

* You don’t talk to anyone, heading straight for your bedroom

* What’s next for you?

[maidleviathan]

Obey Me Brothers as catboys or dogboys

Lucifer

- Even though he has a dog, I'm saying he's a cat. An extremely prideful asshole cat that thinks you should worship the ground be walks on

- Probably a short-haired breed but still insists that you brush his tail 100 times before bed. Secretly loves having you brush him, and always smirks like the cat who got the cream whenever you give into his demands

- He will not let you brush his hair. Why? Because one time you were doing it and absent mindedly scratched at the base of his ear. He was purring and leaning into your touch before he realized what he was doing. Promptly turned bright red and hustled away, and now refuses to let you touch his hair for any reason

Mammon

- Mammon is absolutely a whiny, needy kitty. Complains that he should be spoiled and pampered but is secretly happy with any scrap of affection you're willing to give.

- Is that cat that will curl up on your chest at night and suffocate you with his tail

- If he rolls over and shows you his belly, he's one of the rare cats that don't do this to trick you. You're the only person in the world that he'll accept tummy rubs from. He always melts and purrs and wiggles around, eventually turning to a little puddle of melted Mammon goo

- He tried catnip once and got into a staring contest with one of Levi's figurines before trying to eat Henry 2.0

Leviathan

- Honestly, I can see Levi as a dog or a cat, so we'll do both real quick!

Doggy Levi:

- A rare lazy boy that Does Not Like fetch. He thinks it's so backwards and rude! You offer a precious, beloved toy to your owner so that they too can relish in the joy that it brings, only for them throw it?! Throw away his generous offer, just to make him chase it down to offer to you again, only to repeat the vicious cycle?! No way, no how!

- Has cute floppy ears that are always a little shaggy cuz he doesn't like haircuts. They're lightweight enough to be blown back by moderate wind, and his brothers tease him for his 'majestic flowing hair'

- Eager tsundere trots up to when you get home from work, but doesn't say anything. He just kinda... stares at you, because he's happy that you're home but he doesn't know how to tell you that

- Very sensitive to rejection! Please do not shout at him or use negative reinforcement while training! It will not only make him cry, but will absolutely result in lots of sulking and pouting and passive-aggressiveness for the next week.

Now Cat Levi:

- A lot like dog Levi in that he's very lazy. Likes to lounge around with the video games you got him and... not much else

- Very elusive! Ofc there's his room, but you might find him atop the bookshelf or under the bed at random intervals

- Absolutely loves animes with catgirls in them. The Nekopara OP was his designated theme song for a 6 month period, once. You now have Shiny Happy Days ingrained into your memory whether you like it or not

- Likes jingly balls a lot! Just the little plastic ones with a cheap metal bell inside. Like $2 for a pack of three and he's the happiest cat in the block. He finds their gentle ringing soothing

Satan

- Do I even need to say it? He's a dog

...

- I'm kidding. Satan's a cat

- If like... any generic lawyer, a generic brooding angsty teen with daddy issues, like half a frat boy for childish pranks, and Capper from the MLP movie combined, you'd get something akin to catboy Satan

- What I mean is, extremely smug and occasionally obnoxious in all the way cats are, while also being very well spoken and using several big words

- He. Is. A TERROR! Demands you feed him at 3 in the morning. Pushes things off counters just to hear them crash and laugh at your frantic scrambling when you come to see what just broke.

- Probably brings you critters too, but not in the, 'I care about you so I brought you this rabbit I caught' way. More in the, 'I caught this innocent squirrel and have let it loose in your house just to watch you dance' kind of way

- THIS IS THE CAT THAT IF HE SHOWS YOU HIS BELLY, DO NOT ENGAGE. IT IS A TRAP. HE WILL HURT YOU. HE'S GOING TO BITE YOU

Asmodeus

- The perfect purebred with the longest, silkiest fur, and he just has to let it be known that He's A Purebred You Guys

- Probably a turkish angora, with the most luxurious fur you've ever felt. It makes all of bragging worth it, whenever he wiggles into your lap and rubs his head on your chest until you take the hint and start spoiling him

- He absolutely loves you, because you're the only one that gives him this kind of affection. You have the gentlest hands, and always know just the right way to pet him.

- Loves wearing the collar you got him, struts around like he's a king showing off for the peasants, because it's a gift from you so that makes it priceless

- Is the only cat that doesn't fight you on bath time. He actually really likes water, especially when it's really warm and bubbly. The fastest way to Asmo's heart is to draw him a bath and then wash his hair, praising his perfect slender shoulders and soft creamy skin.

- Likes to sleep tucked up under your arm and cuddled into your side. Tangles his legs with yours and goes to sleep purring, rubbing his cheek against you

Beelzebub

- THE GOODEST BOY

- Beel is an extremely well behaved doggy, and he absolutely lives to please. He's the most enthusiastic when it comes to training, and he really is the best. Sit, shake, stay, heel, retrieve, he knows it all

- He likes learning new tricks partially because it makes you happy, but also because he always gets treats while learning. If you teach him through his stomach, he'll truly be the best there is

- Beel is absolutely addicted to your people food. You don't let them use the oven after someone accidentally gave everyone food poisoning, so you do all the cooking. And he's always right there when you're in the kitchen, whining and drooling because he wants some!

- Begging was the one bad habit you never manage to break.

- You take one look at his begging puppy dog eyes and his tail starts wagging so fast you think he might accidentally take flight. He looks so excited that you can't help yourself from always giving him a little sample

Belphegor

- Belphie, unlike his brother, is a cat. A very troublesome cat

- Will take naps anywhere. And I mean anywhere. On top of the fridge, on the roof of your car, in the freezer on a particularly hot day, in the dryer, under your bed, under his bed, on his siblings, anywhere is fair game.

- Will come lay in your lap without warning at the most random times, and refuse to move. Guilting you with, "It's illegal to wake up sleeping kittens, isn't that what you said?" if you try to move

- Very lazy, very smug boy, that won't lift a finger to do anything if he thinks he can get you to do it instead.

- Very shaggy, overgrown fur. Hates being brushed unless you use the soft bristle one, cuz it slowly coaxes him to sleep everytime you use it.

[simplepotatofarmer]

Hey I saw a reblog of this answer of yours to an ask and I want to know how you'll think this would change, or rather how c!Techno's approach to anarchy (and if we wanna start comparing, c!Quackity's partiality to governance-based structures) would change now that the ban on farms has been lifted?

I feel like there are new implications to consider as this ban lift would influence any interested members of the server to create farms for resources and attain their previously non-existent material power through there. How would the big ideologically charged characters of particular influence on the servent present (and maybe past) go about their actions because of that new change?

okay big disclaimer here before i say anything else:

*i have no idea what the point of farms are in minecraft and at this point i'm too afraid to ask*

so with my extremely minimal understanding of farms but my fairly in-depth understanding of anarchy and of survival minecraft when played by grinding based on cc!techno's style, here's my kind of thought on the whole farm thing.

1.) what will farms actually change? okay, so we've established that i don't know what farms are for, but i do have a server where farms are present. there's a gold farm and a sugar cane farm and a squid farm and i think one other? and i use a lot of gold! i made my gingko tree out of raw gold blocks. i also use a lot of sugar cane as i love collecting books.

i don't personally use the farms but i still have plenty of resources and i'm reasonably confident in saying that no one is going to be able to take away my ability to get more resources.

because that's kinda the crux of it, you know? capitalism isn't just about having money or wealth, what it's really about is the exploitation and the inequality that comes from that exploitation and the inability for people to get out of it. and if farms in minecraft would cause that sort of inequality, then i think it would require a change in actions or more thought at least on c!techno's end. but i don't know if that actually applies because people would still be able to gather food and other resources.

2.) uh-oh! complex morality questions? in my minecraft mechanics? okay here's the thing. there are so many issues with the sheer mechanics of minecraft from a morality stand-point. i mean, if piglins are people with a culture and language, then gold farms are like.... so immoral. enough that i actually considered banning them on my server but i realized that most people wouldn't view it that way.

and that's the thing! where do we draw the line? especially when it comes to the RP aspect. because there's mechanics that require things like killing animals which would go against general characterization of the characters. or things like enderman. so if they're all people, what does killing them mean?

so baked-in game mechanics are kinda questionable. like trust me, i used to be in a large anarchist gaming group and we had biweekly debates on the morality of minecraft and farming mechanics and while i think that could be a worthwhile question, i don't think it's one i really want to tackle in the context of the dsmp because there's so much that can change from one moment to another. a horse can be an extremely important animal/pet or a mob that you kill because breeding mechanics in minecraft are awful, please gods i tried to set them all free but it was too much.

where you can apply the sort of in-world rp morality to things like exile or the prison because those are specifically aimed at characters and specifically have a weight in the story. so....

3.) minecraft mechanics are out, in-world power structures are in!

so, where i end up on the whole farm thing is 'the power that someone has in the context of the rp world is more important than the actual resources they have'.

which means that if c!quackity begins to use the resources he acquires through farms (or any other method) to do things like what the butcher army did - putting phil under house arrest, tubbo almost killing him, executing techno without a trial - then that's something c!techno would have to act on. the same applies to anyone who decides to use the resources gained through that method for something similar.

i think my point is that unless someone is applying the mechanics of minecraft to their in-world power and how they use that against the rest of the server, i can't see the introduction of farms as something that's going to have drastic changes to the political or moral ideology of the server. i mean, theoretically snowchester has one of the most powerful weapons on the server, but c!techno's approach to that was to look at the in-world motivations and actions of c!tubbo.

regardless, i'm just excited to see what they're all going to do with the possibilities it opens up!

[zak-helling]

What to Know Before Adopting Pet Ducks

So I’ve noticed that “weird” or otherwise non-traditional pets have been becoming popular on the internet lately (and probably have been for a few years but my finger is not on the pulse), and this is going to lead to an uptick in demand for these critters. Although I can sit here and just say, “Do your research!” I think it would be more beneficial to provide what I’ve learned about one animal in particular: ducks.

Ducks are adorable. They’re derpy. They’re funny critters. But they are a lot of work. Here are some of the things I’ve learned from having pet ducks:

1. You can’t just have one.

No, I don’t mean, “They’re such great pets it’s impossible to not want to scoop another one up!” I mean you cannot have only one duck. Unless you or your housemates are always home and always available to keep your duck company, you’re going to want at least two. This is because ducks are social animals and will get lonely like, immediately after being left alone. So unless you are quite literally always home, you’re gonna need two at least. Oh, and ducks don’t automatically get along with other ducks, so there is a chance that your ducks just might not like each other.

Each ducks has their own personality, and may or may not click with each other or you. 

2. They can’t just “hold it” and will go to the bathroom every 10-30 minutes.

And no, they can’t be potty trained. So if you plan to keep the ducks inside and let them roam around, you’ll need to get duck diapers (which do in fact exist), which you then have to clean. If you want to keep them in an enclosure, they will, of course, need room to roam, but your living space will smell awful.

3. Everything wants to eat them.

Everything. Depending on the size of your ducks and where in the world you live, certain predators like hawks and falcons might not be a problem, but you can’t let your guard down. Weasels, foxes, coyotes, maybe even your neighbor’s dog if given the chance will try to eat your ducks, and you’ll need to make sure that your yard is secure. Keep in mind that some predators can scale fences or dig under them, so you’ll either have to partially bury the fence to make it deeper and harder to dig under or give them an enclosure with a bottom so nothing can dig in. Also, keep in mind that a duck you go to purchase will most likely be a domestic duck, meaning they can’t fly and probably won’t have any know-how on defending themselves.

Also, because they are prey animals, it means you need to work harder to earn their trust. Even if you do your best, some ducks just won’t click with you. One of our ducks has known me for about a year and a half and she sometimes asks me for pets. Our other duck, whom we’ve had since she was a duckling (about four years?) runs away when I get too close unless I have snacks. Even then she only tolerates me.

4. They can be rough on your yard.

We have two ducks and our yard looks like a mud pit because they like to dig for bugs and play in the mud. If you have an enormous area for them to roam and only a small flock it shouldn’t be as bad, but don’t expect to win any awards for best lawn if you have ducks.

4.5 And don’t even get me started on gardens...

If they find out you’re growing tomatoes or cucumbers or any other foods they like, forget it.

5. They can be EXPENSIVE.

Building or buying a shelter costs money. Food and snacks cost money. Most pet insurance companies out there do not cover ducks, so trips to the vet are probably going to be paid out of pocket. The last time we had to go to the vet following a thankfully very minor fox bite, it cost us a little over $100, and this was by far the least expensive trip (there was another incident back in 2020 where it cost us well over $500 per duck). That is, of course, if you can even find a vet who has special training in avian care. Additionally, because they are considered livestock bred for food, the medications they have access to are limited. ADDITIONALLY, some breeds are pre-disposed to issues. Both our male and our uncle’s male had bum legs that swelled up and left them lame and nobody knew why. Unfortunately, some of these issues have no solutions.

Also, giving a duck a pill is not a simple task.

6. They can live for a long time.

All pets are a commitment, but pets with long lives are even bigger commitments. We have American Peking ducks. The life expectancy of an American Peking is 12 years. And they ain’t ducklings for very long (I understand ducklings are the selling point for ducks when it comes to people on the internet). There are a lot of people who cannot handle this commitment, and so some shelters do have a large amount of ducks and other fowl who grew up, stopped being as cute, and got dumped.

If you’re going to adopt any pet, do your homework and make sure that it’s a critter you can and will be able to care for. Animal shelters are spread thin as it is, and adding exotic pets or pets that just need extra care is only going to increase their workload. Exotic pets and domestic animals CANNOT just be dumped; it’s terrible for the environment and it is downright cruel to the animal. You need to know what you’re getting yourself into before you get into it!

[mashiraostail]

Hiiii, i was wondering if i could request some vlad king and gang orca taking care of their s/o pets. Like if the reader was out of town and asked them to take care of their dogs👉👈 i feel like vlad is such a good doggy dad that the dogs play together and i feel like gang orca would be lost but doing his best and if he was taking care of a cat i like to think it would love being around him because cats love fish and he would just always have his s/o cat cuddling on his lap. Im sorry for ranting lol i love your work you're doing great💕

awwehehe this is so cute since you mentioned dogs for vlad and cats for kugo that's what i went with! also indulged myself and included kugo/ jiro/shoji content bc that seems like such a GOOD FUNNY AND WHOLESOME trio and i wanted more content than we got smh 

Sekijiro Kan/Vlad King: "Hey Sek, I need a huge favor.” You look up from your phone at the taller man who is currently scrunched into the corner of his couch scrutinizing a piece of paper with really terrible handwriting on it.  “Sounds dangerous.” He replies without looking up and you snort dropping to the cushion beside him.  “Only a little, but I think you’re good for it.”  “Alright then, so what’s the favor?” His eyes flick up to you. “I need to go visit a friend out of town.” You sigh, “she had a baby last month, I used to work with her husband and she asked if I wanted to spend some time back home with her for her birthday next week, I should be about five days.” You rest your hands on his knees, “so while I’m out there..would you mind watching Kilo for me? I hate to leave him behind but It’d be a pain to travel so far with him I know he hates trains.”  “That’s a huge favor?” He raises an eyebrow at you, “sure I can watch him. I bet they’ll get along fine.” He glances at his own dog curled up under a chair.  “But only If you can figure out what the hell Monoma tried to write here.”  For all intents and purposes, Kilo was a good dog, a little stupid, but a good dog nonetheless. To be honest, he’s really honored you trust him with the task, you’re the only person he’s met that seems to love your own dog as much as he loves his. Plus it also meant that Kilo had to like him a fair bit which was also a relief, as a dog owner he knew any potential partner was only as compatible with him as they were with his dog, and his dog loved you, he was sure you felt the same way, any partner that Kilo didn’t get along with would be impossible for you to get along with, he found it more than a little reassuring that Kilo seemed to enjoy his company. Past all that, and maybe even most important this was a perfect opportunity to introduce the two dogs. He was sure it was no secret to you but this wasn’t exactly a casual fling, with the way things were going it felt pretty inevitable that he’d ask if you wanted to move in together; but if the two didn’t get along well then..that’d be an issue. Though he was sure if things got tested out now you’d have some time to at least try to get the dogs to be comfortable with each other or hopefully think of some sort of workaround. In his eyes, this was a blessing for him as much as it was a favor to you.  “Are you sure you don’t mind keeping Kilo at your place?” Sekijiro is slightly embarrassed to say how early he arrived at this park, he wanted to tire his own dog out before introducing the pair, he’d advised you to do the same so you were walking to the park, you'd called him on your way.  “Of course I don’t mind babe.” He tosses a ball from his seat on the bench and watches his pudgy bulldog trot over to it, “it’ll be easier this way, right?”  “Yeah that’s true, I just don’t want Kilo wrecking any of your stuff, he always means well but he gets into trouble sometimes-”  “Don’t worry about it, he’ll be a model student by the time you get back.” He hears you laugh into the receiver at that. “I don’t doubt that, I’m almost there, I’ll see you in a few okay?”  “Yeah sure thing, can’t wait.” You huff out another laugh at him before hanging up.  “Sekijiro!” You chirp brightly at the sight of the man, he’s too busy taking you in to respond. Kilo’s trotting a foot or so in front of you on his leash, that old joke about dogs looking reminiscent of their owners was certainly true in your case, you both looked delighted to see him and beyond that, you were practically glowing... Maybe he just had a thing for people who were good with animals.  “Hey Sek?” You lean down in front of him.  “Hey! He welcomes Kilo between his knees, the mixed breed was a bit larger than his dog who was currently bounding back to him with a ball and sufficient slobber hanging from his mouth, the size difference in mind though Kilo was a hell of a lot less bulky, he was practically streamlined, Sekijiro had seen how fast the dog could run with his own eyes. He could see why you took so much pride in the dog, he was definitely beautiful his coat was long, wavy, and shiny and he had big blue eyes and admittedly the cutest pink nose and spotted tongue Sekijiro had ever seen.  “Thanks so much again for doing this I really-” An excited bark pulls your attention downwards, “look who it is!” You sing, crouching down to pet the panting dog, “you sure look tired. Sekijiro is working you too hard.” You frown at him as he hops up to rest his front paws on your thighs. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Sekijiro laughs, “but he is worn out, I guess Kilo is too though.” Kilo’s head is on his knee, the larger dog is panting too.  They seem to notice each other, and approach with a lazy curiosity. They sniff around each other for a bit but after that return to their respective activities, seemingly unbothered by each other and the proximity of the other dog to their owner. Kilo didn’t mind your cooing at Vlad’s dog who didn’t seem to mind Kilo’s head in his owner's lap. With that little bit of reassurance, you hand him Kilo’s leash and a bag of his stuff; food dish, some toys and treats and the like, and then you part ways after promising to call him when you get to your home town safely.  All in all the coming days are pretty uneventful, Kilo joins them on their daily walks, eats at the same time with no trouble, finds a comfortable place to sleep each night.  “Is Kilo alright?” Your voice is nervous in the receiver.  “He’s better than babe, seriously they’re getting along great.”  “God that’s such a relief.” You sigh, “the pictures you’ve sent are cute..gosh I miss him.” You pout a little. “Gee I miss you too babe.” He mutters it with a playful edge to his voice and you gasp,  “I was going to say I miss you too but forget it!”  “don’t be mean!” He complains back, “I was kidding! And anyway I miss you. How’s it been out there?”  You go off on your usual tangents before ending up back at square one.  “Oh! I called you for a reason actually!” You remember, “I’ll be a little bit late getting back on Sunday, one of the trains is going to be down so I’m taking a later one, I should be back around midnight now would you mind-”  “Of course not babe, I’ll get you from the station so-”  “No no! It’s okay you’ve already done so much that’s not what I was going to ask! I just wanted to be sure you wouldn’t mind keeping Kilo around for the extra time...I can get a taxi, seriously don’t wait up for me!”  “Well just come to my place when you get back right?”  “I wouldn’t wanna wake you up-”  “It’s been way too long since I saw you last, so I don’t mind, if you won’t let me pick you up from the station at least come right here.”  “You’re convincing.” You laugh a little, embarrassment heating up your face, “I guess that’s fine with me then...” A distant sounding voice pulls you away from the receiver, “Sek I have to go, I’ll call you again soon though!”  “Don’t worry about anything babe.” He reassures you as you hang up.  There is one minor spat over a rope toy but it’s resolved easily enough and the pair seem to get on swimmingly after that, even sharing a couch cushion and occasionally resting their heads on each other, they become incredibly fast friends, which is probably the biggest relief on the planet to Sekijiro. Watching the two of them play tug of war in his living room or witnessing their schemes to get leftovers off the counter on Thursday night essentially cement his vision of a future with you.  If you were being totally honest it was embarrassing how attractive you found Sekijiro getting along with your dog to be, you’d never got the obsession of handsome guys holding cute babies but seeing some of the photos he’d sent to you over the almost 6 days you were gone made butterflies crop up in your stomach the likes of which you’d only felt when he was actively trying to fluster you...but this seemed totally unintentional. To say you were incredibly eager to go home and see him (jump his bones) felt like an understatement. It’s past midnight when you get back and the place is mostly dark, you see a vaguely bulldog shaped blob partially under a blanket on the couch, but the snoring it emits gives away it’s identity easily. You leave your bag at the door and venture into the apartment, poking your nose into the bedroom.  Of course, Sekijiro is there, dead asleep on his back, and who’s with him but Kilo, his head resting on the blood hero’s chest one of his hands resting on top of it.  “Oh Vlad-” You coo, you practically sing it at him.  “Wha-whatsitwhat-” He rubs his face as he picks his head up, “oh, hey welcome back ‘s good to see you, missed you-”  “You’re so sweet-” You’re already at the side of his bed, leaning down and kissing him.  “What’s-” Sekijiro takes a minute to process everything before he realizes it’s Kilo’s head on his chest making you act like this.  “Oh no way, he’s been a total angel-”  “I’m so glad he likes you so much-” You murmur it between kisses, to his lips and various other spots on his cheeks and jaw, “you guys are adorable together.”  “I’m glad you think so-” He cuts himself off with a yawn and turns into your lips, kissing you again before speaking, “you weren’t kidding about that late train huh? It’s almost 1 AM, you must be exhausted, there’s plenty of room for you in here so come on.” 

Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca: “Hey, Kugo...” You approach him from behind and wrap your arms around his shoulders, leaning against the back of the chair he’s sat in.  “Yes?” One hand comes up to cover your forearm the other stays dutifully at work.  “You love me, right?” You rest your head against his and he pricks up at the inquisition.  “Of course I do, why would you ask a question like that? Is something wrong?”  The way his hand subtly squeezes your arm isn’t lost on you.  “Hmm..no nothing's wrong.” You lean into him and close your eyes as he sighs good-naturedly. “Then what? Did you just want to hear me say it?” He leans back into you, “I guess I could entertain that...” His thumb swipes a long stroke over the skin of your forearm, “I love you, dear.” He can feel you prickle up at that behind him. “I love you too Kugo.” You squeeze him tighter and he huffs out a quiet laugh. “I’m glad to hear it. Now is that all you needed?” He puts his pen down to bring his other hand up to your arms, “I’m a bit busy. You’re welcome to stay there if you like though I just need to finish some paperwork and make a few phone calls. After that, we can do whatever you like for the night.”  “Well, now that you mention it there was just one more thing. I’ll be fast I promise.” Your hand slides underneath his lapel and into his jacket.  “Don’t worry I can make a bit of time for you then, what’s the matter?” You make eye contact with him through his darkened computer screen.  “My boss invited me to this big conference next week, it’s a pretty great opportunity and I could meet some important people..” You explain, biting your lip, “it could be really good for me to branch out even she thinks so, and getting some more experience will be great, and it’s pretty close to my hometown so I figured I'd stop in and see some old friends after I got done..It’d be about 5 or so days and I’d really like to go.” You sigh and he seems more than a little confused based on his reflection.   “That does sound like a great opportunity for you, you’re right..what’s the problem then? Do you need advice about something?” His confusion doesn’t quell even as you kiss his temple. “I probably will later but for now the problem is Luna.” “Your cat?” Kugo piques, “why is she a problem?”  You sigh, “if I’m not around no one will be there to feed her and make sure she stays out of trouble.”  “Oh is that it? That’s no problem at all dear, I can look after her for you. Is that what you were going to ask me?”  “You don’t mind?” You perk up, “I don’t want to trouble you...and I know I could just as easily leave a key under my mat and have a neighbor do it but I trust you so much more and-”  “It’s no trouble, really.” Kugo laughs a little, "I pass by your apartment all the time on patrols, I’m sure the interns won't mind if I make a stop and head up to check on her every now and again.”  “Oh! You can totally bring them up if they like cats!” He laughs at that too.  “Was that all?”  “Mhm.” You nod and use the motion to nestle into him a bit, “Thank you Kugo.”  ”It’s really my pleasure. Leave it to me, alright?”  All things considered, Kugo’s also pretty honored to be trusted with the task of watching your pet cat, he knows how much you love and worry about her, you dote on her all the time, and if the copious amount of photos you send him of her say anything she’s definitely your pride and joy. For the most part, you spent the bulk of your time with Kugo at his own home, due largely to the fact that he was larger than average and he existed a fair bit more comfortably there, but he paid you visits in your apartment from time to time and had met the cat, she seemed to like him plenty which was a relief as well.  You stop at Kugo’s before you leave and give him a list of things to double-check when he stops in, though you reassure him that there shouldn’t be any problems, Luna was pretty independent and mellow she didn’t like going outside so he didn’t have to worry about her escaping or anything like that. He tries to stop in at least 3 times a day, before, during, and after patrols, he knows that’s probably overkill, you spend all day at work and have never had an issue but he hates the idea of something happening to the feline on his watch. Plus even if he wouldn’t readily admit it he saw this as a perfect time to get on the cat's good side, you said she already loved him but he wasn’t convinced. He knew how much you loved her and any vision of your future that he had always featured the mellow feline so in his mind it was imperative they got on well. On top of that, he was glad you trusted him with something as small and delicate as Luna, she fits pretty comfortably in his hand and was as fragile as she was petit, but you never seemed off-put by the idea of him holding her or petting her, in fact, you encouraged it. The way you even wanted him near her when you weren’t around to supervise put him at ease about his strength and size, he always worried about breaking delicate things, but that wasn’t a worry you seemed to echo.  “Is something going on in that building?”  Shoji looks up at your complex as he pauses by it, “you’re stopping here a lot since yesterday.”  “Huh? Oh. Actually no... well nothing of importance to you. I’m...catsitting.” Jiro holds her breath the hold in the laugh, “Catsitting?”   “Yes...my partner is away at a work conference, the cat in question is theirs.” Kugo nods, “if you like cats you can come up and meet her, she’s actually quite friendly.”   Kugo was pretty used to Luna at this juncture, but whenever other people met her it was easy to see why you were so proud of her, she was quite the stunning cat, a long dark grey and black coat with big green eyes and a swishing tail, her paws were colored as if she was wearing boots.  “Wow...she’s really pretty, I’ve never seen a cat like this.” Jiro was crouched on the ground, stroking her neck.  “I was surprised too.” Kugo confesses, “they found her in a box on the side of the road about a year before we met. She was only a kitten then. Her name’s Luna.”  She seemed to like the pair equally alternating between them, rubbing against their legs and shuffling her head into their palms.  “She is very friendly.” Shoji remarks as she purrs at him, attempting to climb into his lap.  “She’s good at getting into trouble, but she usually means well. You can stay with her for a minute.” He sets off to double-check the usual; food, water, litterbox, the loose window that she’s always wiggling open despite having no desire to climb out of it, he waters a few plants and straightens up anything she knocked over as well. When he returns she's overturned on Shoji’s lap.  “You’re getting along well.” He swipes a pillow she’d knocked over up and replaces it on the couch.  “She’s really sweet!” Jiro is scratching her stomach. “I’m glad to hear it.”   “Hey..sorry if this is too personal or whatever but I didn’t know you were.. dating someone... We didn’t snoop or anything though!” She swears, holding both hands up, the cat looks disgruntled at the loss of attention.  “It’s alright I trust you.” Kugo waves her off, “Luna looks too comfortable anyways, you’ve clearly been petting her this whole time.” He adds with a small chuckle. At the sound of her name, she rolls over and winds around his feet, circling through his ankles and pawing at his pants until he lifts her up.  “To answer you though yes I am seeing someone.” He holds Luna with one hand, his ring and middle finger scratching the patch of grey fur on her chest.  “Are they a hero too?” She wonders, straightening up.  “No...no they’re not, I’m not very public about this sort of thing.”  Shoji contemplates that, “they have a nice apartment.”  “That is true, it’s a good job, and they do have a pretty keen eye for decorating” He agrees, looking around amicably.  “Have you guys been together for a long time?” Jiro blurts out before feeling color float up to her cheeks, “sorry I don’t mean to be rude... I just never pictured you like this I guess I’m curious-”  “It’s okay, most people don’t, and yes, we’ve been together a while now.” Kugo raises a hand to calm her, “but like I said before I’m not very public about things like this which is why you wouldn’t have heard..though either way, even when we do go out together... most people don’t assume I do that sort of thing, and to be frank, we aren’t the most...visually compatible pair..” He says that with a distinct fondness in his voice and then continues, “like you said, you don’t really picture me in this sort of light, most people don’t so hero gossip tabloids tend to leave me alone for the most part, I get a fair bit of freedom when it comes to this sort of thing because of that. There are probably plenty of photos of us together out there, though people usually assume they’re my manager or a secretary or just a friend.” Luna is purring loudly in his hand, her body largely slack against his chest. He walks her over to the couch and sets her down, which she warbles angrily at, “to be honest though I prefer it this way. I’m a private person.”  “That makes sense...well, their cat sure likes you.” Shoji points and Kugo chuckles.  “I’m fond of her myself.” Kugo admits, “everything is as it should be here so we can head out again, sorry for the tangent.” He scratches Luna’s neck and sighs, “as for you I’ll be back tonight. So try to behave until then, for my sake alright?”  Jiro tries not to laugh at the sight. “I didn’t think you’d actually bring them up! Did they like her?”  You sound delighted about it over the phone that night.  “I may have knocked a few intimidation points off of myself, but yes they thought she was cute.” He was sitting with her, contemplating staying the night here. He was embarrassed to say it but this was the longest you’d spent apart in a while and despite any appearances, he had gone soft and was starting to miss you, being around your stuff was nice even if he didn’t fit too well in your bed.  “I don’t think you’re very intimidating at all.” You peep back thoughtlessly. “Well, I’d sure hope not.” He chuckles and leans against the couch, “she’s been good too I was,..expecting her to break more.”  Truthfully Kugo wasn’t sure what he was expecting, he never had pets growing up and hero work didn’t give much free time to consider one, it took a day to get comfortable with her, and even now he was watching his every step for her. “I’m glad to hear that!” You laugh, “she’s a pretty great cat isn't she?”  “I have to agree..” Kugo wouldn’t mind having her around all the time, the longer he sat on your couch and contemplated it the more he realized he wouldn't mind having the both of you around all the time. Was this some sort of emotional sign to ask you to stay with him? He’d give that more thought at a later date.  “Kugo are you listening?” “Of course I am.” He was not. You don’t seem perturbed though, chuckling and then sighing fondly, “I’m gonna go shower then call it a night, I miss you two though.”  Kugo looks down at the cat on his lap and he nods, “we miss you too. I’ll be up for a bit longer so call or text me if you need anything.”  “You shouldn’t stay up so late Kugo it’s bad for you-”  “I know, I know, I’ll turn over a new leaf when you get back.”  “Sure you will.” You snort, “I love you Kugo.”  “I love you too, I’ll see you soon.”  You wanted to see Kugo first thing when you got back but you were so exhausted that you can’t help sulking to your own place, things had gone well enough but all the commotion and travel really drained you. You were sure it wasn’t anything spending some time or even a night with Kugo couldn’t fix though. When you shoulder your door open though there’s Kugo, sitting on your couch.  “Kugo, you’re here?” He’s holding some papers in one hand, the other is holding Luna’s back, keeping her against his chest.  “I was just checking in on her but every time I tried to leave she started..making a weird noise.”  “Weird like how?” You chuckle, suddenly feeling much better.  “Sort of like screaming. But cat-like. I sat down and she clawed her way up here, then fell asleep and almost fell off, but I caught her and she hasn’t moved since.”  “And... how long ago was that?”  “What time is it?” “Half-past 6.”  “2 hours ago. I didn’t want to wake her.”  “Kugo.” You laugh and sit beside him, “you’re so sweet.” You wrap both of your arms around one of his and lean into his shoulder, “I missed you so much.”  “I missed you too.” Kugo sets the papers down on the pile by the arm of the couch, “It's sort of embarrassing but I even stayed here a few nights because of it. I can’t remember the last time I went even 2 days without seeing you.” He appreciates the way you seem to melt into him at that.  “That’s not embarrassing it’s sweet, you’re so cute Kugo...” You lean up and kiss him, “such a big softie aren’t you?”  A soft hum is his reply as you pull away, “was she any trouble? Be honest.” “I was worried at first that I’d screw it up somehow but it went fine.” He confesses as he lifts the cat off his chest and she’s sleepy and limp in his big hand, purring contentedly.  “She was acting up the 2nd day but I think she was just confused about not seeing you. Then she got used to me and was alright.”  “That’s cute..” You yawn and clamber onto his lap, “god all that traveling tired me out...you’ve been stuck here for 2 hours but I might have to trap you a little longer to take a catnap of my own. I think Luna’s onto something...” You nestle into his shoulder, grateful to feel his arms come around you.  “Don’t worry about me.” He hums as Luna curls up in the sliver of space between your bodies, “I just want to finish reading over some things. Then I'll bring you both to bed.”  “You’ll stay tonight?” You yawn again and he hums, you can tell he’s smiling even though you can’t see him. “Would you like me to?”  You nod into his shoulder, “yeah, I would...”  “Alright then I will. Now go to sleep, you need it.” 

[trials-by-blood]

Male with Gender Neutral S/O. S/O is protective over their Yautja. One day, on the mothership, a female gets interested in the male. S/O firmly shows the male is theirs. Male is very impressed by their antics. (If possible, make it naughty ish. Like pulling on Yautja tresses. I apologize if that makes you uncomfortable. I don’t know what you’re rules are.)

Okay so, It’s done! Like another prompt, I decided I should consciously try to be concise and cap it off before going over 2500 words or else it could go on and on. Unfortunately, this couldn’t be naughty because I’ve made the decision to keep this blog at a PG-13 rating. I wound up RBing my original post (The one announcing open asks) with a loose outline of my rules after receiving this very ask. Yeah, I kinda had that “Uh-oh, I forgot the most important step” moment. 

This one sort of ran in a few unexpected and at times turbulent directions. I hope you enjoy this reply although it veered a little off course.

-Ghardeh-

The ooman was always a pain. Ghardeh called them H’ko. It was literally the word for no. Why did Ghardeh call the ooman this? Because it was the first word in Ghardeh’s language that they had learned and one they loved to use. No, no, no. “No” to proper clothing in the current yaut fashions, “No” to any food item they found suspicious, “No” to bathwater heated too hot, “No” to sleeping in the kehrite as unblooded should, “No” to observing Ghardeh’s hunts via a live stream transmitted from the eye lenses of his helm because they did not like the idea of possibly witnessing their companion’s death in real-time. A definite “NO” to learning to hunt as well. They didn’t have any interest in hunting to prove themselves. 

H’ko, H’ko, H’ko. Ghardeh had heard the word in that terrible accent so many times he’d begun mockingly repeating it back to the ooman out of frustration, eventually, it became their pet-name, and later it became a term of endearment. Ghardeh had long given up on the notion that H’ko would ever become a warrior, but that was fine, the ooman was proficient in mechanics and electrical work and it was a respectable profession for an ooman.

Bound for the Clan ship, Ghardeh did not worry much about the ooman’s safety. His clan worked with oomans regularly and in H’ko’s case, as they weren’t a warrior and wore typical ooman dressings, the people would regard them with the same scrutiny as the unblooded: well beneath the gaze of warriors. And yautja women? Well, they ignored their male counterparts ninety percent of the time too, doubtful they’d even register H’ko’s presence at all. Other yautja should simply pretend H’ko didn’t exist as they tagged along safe and sound under Ghardeh’s left arm, and if anyone spared them a second glance it would likely be assumed that H’ko’s role was that of a hired repairer and no more.

Ghardeh had prepped H’ko very sternly and more than once for this visit. Speak to no one above their rank. Do not make prolonged eye contact as it is seen as a challenge. The breeding season is near so if a female propositions, allow Ghardeh to decline and do not intercede. That last instruction was very important. 

Ghardeh had known that humans were often monogamous, and when asked H’ko confirmed that they would prefer not to share Ghardeh’s romantic attention with others. This was one of the many compromises in their unusual partnership. Ghardeh would sleep and engage in sex acts with H’ko and only H’ko, but they had agreed to allow Ghardeh to donate reproductive material non-sexually to females if it was asked of him. Ghardeh had to explain to the ooman: if you are a strong warrior and a fine hunter, it is your duty to contribute your traits to the next generation. They had accepted that aspect of yautja culture begrudgingly, taking a long time to think through and voice all concerns about it just as Ghardeh had done as well when it became apparent that his ooman companion did not enjoy the notion of their mate being dragged to a stranger’s bed chambers if a proposition was accepted. The ordeal of Yaut mating practices also seemed to upset them. A female will usually test a warrior to be absolutely certain that she’d chosen a sire well. This often involves dangerous feats or enduring a physical altercation. H’ko had been unhappy with the very common occurrence of males limping their way home after a failed encounter with a choosy woman.

Ghardeh was merely reviewing all of this information in his head whilst he lied on his back and massaged at the stress crease in his forehead with his knuckles. Tucked against his left side and in the crook of his arm was H’ko, snoring and blissfully unaware of Ghardeh’s anxiety. H’ko would be relatively safe for sure, but something always went wrong when he tried to bring them aboard the Clan Ship. Last time, H’ko accidentally got dragged off with another group of oomans after being mistaken for a member of an ambassadorial tour group. None of the actual ambassadors had the gall to inform their extraordinarily intimidating guide that H’ko was just some random person who was grabbed, scolded for wandering off -which they had, but not from that group-, and herded along with the rest of the soft little aliens. Ghardeh was tempted to tether H’ko to his own body this time, so they couldn’t move more than ten feet from him.

Ghardeh sat up and scrubbed a knuckle against his closed eyes as he prepared to leave the bed, then let a hand fall on H’ko’s shoulder to gently shake them awake. It was time to dress, eat, and prepare. 

Docking went smoothly, and disembarking was uneventful as well. They were greeted by Chulonte, a friend and hunt brother who knew H’ko well and even dipped his head slightly to acknowledge their presence.

“The meeting place has been reserved, we should go now, the others have already gathered,” Chulonte told them briskly before turning away and leading them on.

Ghardeh leaned toward H’ko and dropped a hand on their shoulder. “We’ll acquire a midday meal after the meeting, just the two of us.”

Ghardeh was pleased when H’ko gave him an earnest closed-mouth grin. H’ko liked when they ate alone yet in public. Called them “dates”. 

-Taylor-

Ghardeh was in the meeting with his equals, a loose coalition of hunters each with their own private hunting vessels who always coordinated with one another so that their time hunting on various worlds did not overlap. Apparently, there were laws in place to prevent over-hunting on some planets and to avoid over-exposure on others. Taylor was told to wait outside with Chulonte’s hounds. They were big ugly scaly beasts. One had a face like a cross between an English Bulldog and a cod, the other was nothing but a fangy maw of teeth and horny protuberances growing from its back but they were rather friendly, at least toward Taylor. Taylor wasn’t completely fluent in the Yautja dialects but it had seemed that, as a favor to Ghardeh, Chulonte had given his hunting hounds a command to guard the tiny human among them. The animals hovered close to where the human sat and would stand from their seated positions if any passerby veered too close. Taylor chanced a hand at petting them, Bulldog Face kept dropping his enormous head into the human’s lap for more attention, Spikey Back wasn’t into it and lied down just out of reach.

A group of women began to form nearby, but not too close, as Spikey Back had stood and shown the lot of them his teeth when they tried to form a cluster too near to where Taylor sat waiting for Ghardeh. Taylor could hear this and that which was said among the women. Some of the discussion was pretty damn raunchy. They were here to find action and had planned to greet the hunters when they conclude their meeting and disperse. They said things about what they wanted to do to the hunters they had chosen, sometimes what tests of strength and resilience they were expected to endure, but more often the discussions leaned heavily into overtly explicit themes. The woman who wanted Chulonte wanted to see if he could track by scent as accurately as his hounds could and if he succeeded in this test she would, and Taylor could only partially decipher the phrase, “??? him so ??? that his spine comes undone from his pelvis”. It made Taylor’s skin crawl, especially when all of the women laughed approvingly at what the other had said. Taylor hoped it was a lesser evil in being just a filthy joke but given how tall and strong they appeared, and how dangerous Ghardeh had told Talyor they were, they wondered if they really could injure their partners in such a way. It certainly seemed possible.

Taylor felt tension building in their chest. They heard them name off nearly all the hunters they’d seen enter the meeting room and every brutal ordeal they wished to subject them to, and it was only a matter of time before Taylor heard Ghardeh’s name. It happened, and when it did, the human’s pet name was mentioned as well. 

“Ghardeh is a difficult one to persuade, too difficult to bother with up until now. He now has rank advancements, clearly enough to afford him a live trophy. That’s worth some regard, but how to get rid of H’ko long enough to have adequate time with the man?”

“Seems like Chulonte’s dogs make fine enough guardians for it. Let us coordinate our liaisons then-”

Taylor couldn’t keep their mouth shut. They’d been infuriated by three ugly words. Live Trophy and, It.

“I am NOT a Live Trophy! And Ghardeh is NOT available for your abuse!” They shouted, causing both of the hounds to jerk to attention and search for a threat to their charge.

-Ghardeh-

Ghardeh had correctly predicted that the meeting would go very much as it had in all of the previous seasons, a few smooth agreements, a few disputes, a fight or two, and then they’d leave and continue about their personal business. He left that meeting room with lunch on his mind and the expectation that H’ko would be clamoring for a meal as well, he had not anticipated being met with the sight of them dangling from the grip of Dar-bak’di, the most fearsome of the local young women who roved in a pack during the breeding season. H’ko was kicking and gasping for air as they flailed in her grip, Chul’s hounds were being bribed into complicity by the other women offering them whatever morsels they had in their bags, and Dar-bak’di was making a show of how easily she could destroy a mere ooman. Now it was Ghardeh shouting H’ko! H’ko!

It took a great deal of convincing to get Dar-bak’di to release H’ko, and the limit of her mercy was to drop the gasping ooman on top of Ghardeh and call them both abominable, in addition to accusing Ghardeh of something akin to bestiality. Dar’bak-di had smelt Ghardeh’s amorous n'dui'se all over his ooman companion and she refused to believe it when she was told that H’ko was a legally hired mechanic. To perform mating practices with species classified as prey was frowned upon, but not against any written law. The truth of the matter was, H’ko was unbelievably lucky to survive the encounter and had, hopefully, learned something from it. 

-

The ooman did not argue or make a fuss on the way home, and whether they liked it or not they were carried. The bruising around their neck was already blooming into hot red blotches. Ghardeh said nothing of it but make no mistake, he was furious. He’d told H’ko in no ambiguous words not to engage in conversation much less an altercation with yautja women! And what did they do, start a fight they could never under any circumstances survive on their own.

Upon his Vessel, Ghardeh placed H’ko in bed and with the intention of letting them sleep the ordeal off. After leaving the room, he went to the galley to serve himself a drink before grabbing the kit to treat severe bruising, but heard the soft soles of H’ko’s feet padding behind him.

“Go back to the bed and rest,” Ghardeh told the ooman flatly without turning to look at them as he poured a glass of c’ntlip.

“They were saying terrible things,”

Ghardeh sighed and set aside the decanter before taking the first sip and responding.

“They’re lonely and horny, of course they were speaking in lewdisms. I warned you that they would speak this way about whatever they set their longing eyes upon.”

“But it was about you and-”

“I don’t care what was said about me! You disobeyed the most important instruction I have ever given you! You could have been rent to pieces! You directly challenged an individual no less than twice your height and perhaps four times your weight! Worse still, she was legally in the right to throw you through a wall if she wanted to!”

“She called me a Live Trophy!” H’ko shouted through a snarl.

The tone immediately triggered Ghardeh’s expression to twist and eyes to darken as he postured for a fight -albiet only a verbal one- but the words gave him a reason to pause as he processed what was said. Live Trophy, it was nothing else but a slur, and H’ko’s anger was justified. H’ko tended to show a fear response with tears and soft whines when they were angered, though, which Ghardeh was always bewildered by. A show of anger more familiar to Ghardeh had come first this time, perhaps because his own mannerisms had begun to rub off on the ooman, so a second pause was taken to scrutinize H’ko’s face. Ah, the grimace and tears were building behind the facade. Ghardeh deflated.

“She called you a Live Trophy?” he asked, softly this time as not to elevate H’ko’s anger further.

It was too late to abate the ooman’s upset. Fat droplets ran down their rounded face and they stopped making their oh-so-important eye contact as they nodded to confirm that, yes, they’d been called a live trophy.

Ghardeh moved in to close the distance between them in two strides before dropping both hands on his ooman mate’s shoulders with a great sigh. 

“We will treat the bruising on your neck, then we will prepare a meal on our ship, then we should talk about what happened.” 

H’ko did that typical human thing by saying nothing and gripping the yautja around the waist in an embrace. Ghardeh tried the rumble affectionately, but frankly, he was now furious beyond belief for all new reasons. Live Trophy. Had he known such a term had been thrown at his companion, he’d have been inclined to challenge her too.

“You were brave Tay-Lar, for defending your honor.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Ghardeh said with a genuine growl of approval this time, stroking the back of his companion’s round head.