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soliavenne · 4 years ago

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A Holiday Episode for The Sand Family: What Would Be Their Perfect Holiday Drink?

Alright ya’ll, this had been a running late holiday episode I was supposed to post a few days ago, but I just got to finish finalizing the recipes and the drawings the other day haha. Either way, here it goes!

Hope you enjoy! :)

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Temari starts off by finely chopping her pre-cooked, roasted and peeled chestnuts. She places the non-stick pan on medium low heat before pouring the chopped chestnuts in it, followed by the whole milk.

She then proceeds to chop the stick of vanilla bean into two pieces, takes 2/3 of it for the drink; with the remaining 1/3 of the stick to be set aside to flavor the whipped cream later. Temari splits the vanilla bean in half, lengthwise, and scrapes out the vanilla pulp inside and stirs it right into the simmering milk. The same step will be done later to the remaining vanilla bean. Temari prefers using vanilla bean instead of vanilla extract, as the vanilla extract contains unnecessary ingredients and tastes weaker compared to the vanilla bean itself.

Temari doesn’t like using ground cinnamon, as it doesn’t dissolve into the drink. To still have the cinnamon flavor, she throws in a small cinnamon stick into the milk.

Knowing from bad experience, Temari doesn’t leave the simmering milk unattended. She diligently scrapes the bottom of the pan every 1-2 minutes with a rubber spatula so it doesn’t form a film of milk solids that could burn if left neglected. She cracks up the heat a little to medium high to bring it to a boil. After so, Temari reduces the heat at the lowest setting to allow it to simmer, still stirring it occasionally for five minutes before taking it off the heat.

Temari likes using bittersweet chocolate instead of cocoa powder, as the butter content of chocolate allows for a richer taste. She chops the chocolate very finely to have it dissolve faster into the hot milk. Since bittersweet chocolate doesn’t taste as sweet, she adds two tablespoons of light brown sugar and stirs it to dissolve. After that, she takes out the cinnamon stick.

Temari prefers to blitz her hot chocolate in her high-speed blender as it allows her clean the counter and wash the utensils for the meantime as it blends. It leaves little to no trace of remaining chestnut pieces and usually results to a very smooth consistency.

After dividing the nutty, hot chocolate into her mugs and Shikamaru’s mug, she stirs in the Bourbon.

Temari prefers to whip her cold, heavy cream to a medium peak with a hand-held mixer alongside 2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar and the scraped vanilla bean from the left stick.

She tops off the drink with a healthy amount of sweetened, vanilla whipped cream, roughly chopped roasted walnuts (as expected), and a drizzle of her own chocolate sauce on to finish it off.

Bonus recipe:

Temari prefers homemade to store-bought if it doesn’t take much of her time to do it, one of the things she swaps for a homemade version is chocolate sauce, knowing it’s a one-pot no brainer recipe. So how does she do it?

Temari’s Homemade Chocolate Sauce

1) 1 ½ cups water

2) 1 ½ cups white sugar

3) 1 cup cocoa powder

4) 1 dash salt

5) 1 stick of vanilla bean.

Pour in the water, sugar, cocoa powder and salt into the pan and heat it over low heat. Stir the mixture constantly until it thickens up and comes to a simmer. Take it off the heat and then stir in the scraped vanilla bean. You can serve it warm, or make it in advance and store in a container into the fridge until ready to be served.

---

Kankuro gets cold easily, and he likes to be experimental at times with the food he eats. Hot chocolate with Tequila and a little kick of cayenne? Yep, you got him intrigued. He would certainly give it a shot.

Kankuro usually goes for whole milk, but he decides to go for full cream milk this time to balance off the taste of alcohol and spice perfectly. He does find it resulting to a thicker, decadent hot chocolate, which is something he’s not shy to indulge himself upon.

He prefers to use both parts of milk chocolate and semisweet chocolate. There are times where he opts to not add sugar at all due to the sugars present in his chosen types of chocolate, but if he’s feeling a little kick of a sweet tooth, he would use light brown sugar.

He starts off by finely chopping his chocolates and placing them onto the bowl. Last year, he thought he could chop it at the same time as he allows the milk to boil, but he ended up losing his concentration as he found joy in the sound of chocolate being chopped by his freshly-sharpened knife. The milk boiled over, and the panic had him throwing the chocolate into the scalded milk; with the weight of the chopping board tipping over the pot and resulting to a hot chocolate-less night. Never again. He knew better now. He learns the best after his own mistakes.

To make his favorite hot chocolate, pour in the milk, sugar, salt, ground cinnamon and cayenne pepper into the pot and heat it over medium low. As he only makes this once a year, specifically for the holiday as a sort of little tradition for himself as he dons his holiday sweater, Kankuro is extra mindful to scrape the bottom of the pot until it reaches a gentle boil. He reduces the heat to the lowest setting before pouring in his finely chopped chocolate from his fancy little glass bowl. After stirring it to dissolve, he removes it off the heat and then uses a ladle for extra precaution to transfer it to the mugs.

Stirs in the tequila into the hot chocolate.

Kankuro likes to top it off with a thin layer of store-bought whipped cream. He then sprinkles a small amount of roughly chopped milk chocolate to sweeten the cream, and pinch of cayenne for an interesting contrast.

Note: I forgot to add 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon powder into the recipe image, but the recipe does call for it! I’m sorry for the error!

---

Gaara is not very keen on overly-indulgent, sweet drinks. Already thinking that chocolate is very rich itself, Gaara chooses to use low-fat milk. The lessened percentage of fat from his preferred type of milk is complemented by the butter content that the semisweet chocolate offers. The unsweetened cocoa powder packs in a deep, flavor of strong cocoa minus the fat content. This combination results to a less thicker form of hot chocolate, which Gaara prefers the most. To balance off the bitterness and the acidity, he adds a teaspoon of light brown sugar.

Same old step, Gaara combines the simple, yet the highest of quality products in his non-stick pan. Highest of quality meaning having it exposed less to commercialized practices, as Gaara opts to buy his commodities from Suna’s own, proud farmers as a form of his utmost support. Suna had propositioned to buy additional farmlands from Konohagakure, and their own agriculture business is now thriving for the better.

There are times where he visits the farmers himself, and they are more than happy to welcome their beloved Kazekage with an enormous feast of the freshest of their harvest. Gaara vowed to bring Shinki, Araya, and Yodo next time to introduce this practice he upholds in hopes of passing on the economical and moral importance of supporting their own people and own products to the next generation.

Since it is the holidays after all, he lets himself slide off a just a bit by topping his drink off with his own recipe of espresso whipped cream. It’s fairly simple, he whips the cold heavy whipping cream alongisde a small amount of vanilla bean and a teaspoon of instant espresso powder. It may come off as a surprise that he adds another shot of sugar into this as he wasn’t a person with a sweet tooth at all, but he does find that the molasses flavor of the brown sugar balances the concentrated caffeine flavor of the espresso perfectly.

He then proceeds to counter the sweetness from the brown sugar with a healthy sprinkle of sea salt on top, which Chojuro gave as a gift from the previous Five Kage meeting in hopes advertising it as an international product considering they were the ones who discovered it due to Kirikagure’s being surrounded by large bodies of seawater. It was still a new business, the Mizukage said with a chuckle, but the Kages, including Gaara himself, were intrigued and happy to try it.

---

Shikamaru loves coffee. It was what kept him going from the long, dragged afternoons spent in the office doing paperwork ever since he started working for the Sixth Hokage up to the Seventh Hokage. The holidays doesn’t faze him to try something entirely new, it’s got to have a punch of caffeine in it, no ifs, no buts. Alcohol and chocolate? Sounds great to indulge himself in once in a while, but the taste of coffee needs to roll familiarity in his tongue for him to enjoy it fully; so an alcohol-spiked mocha is the perfect stroke to tickle his spots.

It’s nothing too fancy, set up a kettle to boil water for the coffee later as he heats up the milk for the hot chocolate to a gentle boil on a very low heat so it’s less of a risk to burn in case he forgets to stir it now and then. Once it does, he tosses in the semisweet chocolate chips, as the whole chopping business thing was something he didn’t want to trouble himself with. Once fully melted and combined, he takes it off the heat.

Shikamaru then proceeds to dissolve the instant coffee powder and the light brown in the boiling hot cup of water.

The ratio he goes for is to fill the first 1/3 of the cup with hot chocolate, then other third of it with the fresh cup of hot coffee. He then stirs in the amaretto, and a tops it off with a thin layer of store-bought whipped cream or Temari’s leftover whipped cream if he runs out of the previous choice. A little dusting of sweetened cocoa powder for the taste and the aesthetic.

Enjoys his second round of Amaretto-spiked Mocha the best when Shikadai is already asleep upstairs, leaving him and Temari alone to accompany each other as they sit together in the couch, cuddled and laughing under the warm blanket as they savor the cold holiday night in Konohagakure together.

---

Shikadai would rather have a freezing milkshake than a hot chocolate because he doesn’t like waiting for the hot beverage to cool down as his mother and father had already gulped half of what they’re having.

Cookies and Cream milkshake was one of the specials that they only offered for the special milkshake month in Thunder Burger Restaurant during September. Since there was no way he could order it by the time the holidays arrive, he asked for Chocho and Inojin’s help to devise his own favorite milkshake recipe. Soon enough, he was able to perfect it; as approved by his own teammates, and Temari’s own highest standards.

Shikadai’s prefers to use skim milk, as he had discovered that the presence of egg yolks in his favorite french vanilla ice cream is what makes it creamier and richer than the usual vanilla ice cream. The lack of fat content in skim milk would balance off the french vanilla ice cream’s richness to prevent it from tasting too indulgent.

Shikadai allows the ice cream to soften up a bit to room temperature where it’s just a little melty. After that, he combines the ice cream, cold skim milk, half amount of the scraped vanilla bean, powdered sugar and chopped, seven pieces of oreo cookies into a high speed blender. He turns it off once he sees it is fully-blended.

He likes to drizzle the homemade chocolate sauce that his mother makes onto the milkshake glass, both for taste and aesthetic as a genetic nod to Shikamaru’s mentioned choice with the dusting of cocoa powder. One of his favorite parts in drinking this milkshake is whenever he uses his straw to scoop up the chocolate sauce that dribbled down onto the bottom of the glass.

Prefers to buy store-bought whipped cream to ease his job and just add the remaining half of the scraped vanilla bean to flavor it. He then proceeds to roughly crush 2 oreo cookies and mix it in with the vanilla-flavored whipped cream. After topping his milkshake with it, he likes to garnish it on top with a whole piece of oreo cookie.

---

Shinki’s disciplined behavior renders him uneasy in consuming so many indulgent foods in one night, considering every holiday within the Kazekage’s household had always been a feast. Braised stew and gizzard? Fine, everyone has their weakness, and he might find himself slipping up a little, but with his chosen drink, he would like to tone it down a bit.

Shinki’s health consciousness encourages him to try different healthier alternatives of the popular foods they consume on a daily basis. His latest endeavor was focused on the swelling trend of plant-based milks in the market. He studied the differences between a plant-based milk and regular milk, and he found notable information that he once shared with Gaara over dinner. Gaara smiled at Shinki’s interesting thought, and was now intrigued as well to try it, urging Shinki furthermore to give it a shot.

He went home once, paperbags filled with different cartons of different types of milk. He poured each one of it into small glasses for a taste test. Apart from the difference in the tastes, he also discovered that there were certain milks he thought would pair the best with a specific function. He liked oat milk the best if they are paired with cereal, and the notable creaminess and less nuttier taste of cashew milk paired well with coffee.

Coconut milk was better off for dishes where you naturally expect it to have a “coconutty” taste, since it was distinctly overpowering. Soy milk on the other hand… was an acquired taste for Shinki.

Now that he has the background information as to how it is supposed to taste like, he knew that he would increase its chances of being entirely healthy by making it himself. He wasn’t sure about it at first though, as he would opt to buy it if the recipe calls for professional skills and labor, but once he discovered how easy it was to make by the time he read the recipes Gaara printed for him, he was undeniably excited despite how stoic he looks like on the outside. If you look in close enough, you would see a curt, small smile on his lips.

Out of all the attempts of making almond, oat and cashew milk at home, Shinki found himself favoring cashew milk than the other two. Almond milk required straining it with a nut bag, and tasted prevalently nuttier, oat milk on the other hand ended rather a little slimy. Cashew milk was the easiest, as he didn’t need to do the extra job of straining it, and it resulted to a perfectly creamy milk with with a subtle, nutty note that goes well with his usual go-to drinks, such as coffee and tea. It was his perfect choice.

He might not make it as often as he wants to, but on the holidays, he makes it a day in advance prior to making his reverse whipped coffee.

Shinki pours in the overnight-soaked, softened raw cashews into the high-speed blender, alongside water, Gaara’s favorite sea salt, and the vanilla bean. Shinki likes to use preserved, pitted dates as a sweetener as it also offers another depth of flavor into the milk. He then starts it off by blending in low speed, and then cracking it up to a higher setting until it is fully smooth.

Shinki has his own labeled jar for his homemade cashew milk. To give it another depth of flavor, Shinki likes to throw in two small pieces of cinnamon sticks into the empty jar prior to filling it in with the cashew milk, allowing it to steep the spice’s flavor slowly as it stores in the fridge.

The next night, Shinki starts off by putting in the instant coffee powder, sugar, and hot water into a medium sized bowl. Shinki used to do it on the coffee mug itself, but the found out that it took longer to thicken up due to the lack of air circulation within the small area of the mug. He scrapes the bowl clean using a rubber spatula as he transfers the whipped coffee into his mug.

He then proceeds to heat up his cashew-milk to a gentle boil alongside one piece of cinnamon stick. Shinki leaves the other to steep in further into the left cashew milk. Shinki uses a fine mesh sieve to strain some small pieces of cinnamon from the stick as he would prefer the coffee to be thoroughly smooth.

The aeriated, whipped coffee adds a natural foam on top of the coffee. Shinki doesn’t like to add further garnishes.

Likes to keep it bitter and less sweet because he’s secretly eyeing the dark chocolate cake Gaara only buys during the holidays for later consumption.

---

Bonus recipes to try from Araya and Yodo!

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A happy, happy holidays to all of you lovely people! :)

#temari #kankuro #gaara #sand siblings #shikamaru #shikadai #shinki #shikatema #gaara of the desert #suna no gaara #araya #yodo #team shinki

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willowbird · 5 years ago

Note

Prompts open? Bet maybe foxes(and Andrew) slowly finding out how fucked up Neil’s mom was to him?(I get it was to survive but it was still abuse)

Since this one got kinda... Uh... Long... And answered both of these prompts I decided to combine them!! I didn't include a separate one for Andrew because he's present for a couple of them and by the time I reached the end it was like 6600 words and an Andrew POV would probably add another 2000 because I'm me and I always get carried away with Andrew POV.

If you’d rather read this on AO3 you can do so here.

4 times the Foxes found out how fucked up Mary was to Neil, and the 1 time Neil actually admitted it

ONE - ALLISON

Allison had been taking Neil shopping, which in itself wasn't really a weird occurrence. Allison would take any of her teammates shopping if that's what needed to happen to get them to stop looking like a dirty hobo. As it happened, Neil was just the worst offender and so she pestered him about it more often than not. It was remarkable how the guy could be dating the Monster and still look like that. Not that Andrew Minyard was a fashion icon or anything, but the miniature psychopath at least understood the concept of aesthetic and made sure the people around him wore things that actually fit.

Well, most of the people around him.

Point being, Neil needed a bit of extra help, and Allison was more than happy to supply it. So she'd taken to dragging him out shopping with her once a week. It was basically therapy - and fuck if that boy didn't need some of that.

(But Allison wasn't going to say that in front of Neil or he'd probably get hives…)

Usually, the shopping trips all went about the same. Allison would drag Neil along, Neil would acquiesce until he got hungry, then he'd get bitchy and after Allison fed him he'd calm the fuck down enough to try on more things before refusing to get anything. On a very rare occasion she would get him to accept a shirt or a new pair of pants. His weakness was shoes, but she tries not to exploit that too often.

Today, however, was different - because today Allison caught Neil's eyes catching on a particular hoodie. If it had been just once she would have passed it off, but this was at least the fourth time Neil had sought it out in the whole ten minutes they'd been in the narrow clothing store and his eyes didn't just catch, they lingered. Which meant that Neil was interested, that he liked something. This was a breakthrough! Especially since the hoodie was new and had color, rather than the drab shit he was always wearing. It was a very pretty cerulean blue with black stitching and was of a less bulky design than the other two Neil owned (one of which was the Foxes one she'd never seen him wear off-campus). In the proper size it would fit his frame nicely, she could tell just by looking at it, and she was low-key impressed that something with general style had been the thing to catch his eye.

Allison grinned and nudged him. "Hey, just grab it. You could use a new hoodie."

Neil's attention snapped to her and Allison wasn't prepared for the flash of instinctive panic that raked through his eyes. "No, I didn't- I don't-" He raised his hands apologetically, which was weird, then seemed to catch himself and dropped them immediately. Allison could see him struggling not to look over at the sweatshirt and for the life of her she didn't understand why. But now she needed to know.

She gave him a look. "Uh, yes you did, and you do. What's the big deal? So what, you like it. Get it." She shrugged, hoping nonchalance would encourage him to stop being a weirdo about it.

"Nah," Neil said with a shrug. "It's fine. I've got hoodies."

Allison thought about letting it go, she really did, but she was too curious. But she also knew that the more she seemed to care about the answer she was prodding for, the less likely Neil was going to give it. So she pretended to look at some of the surrounding clothing without really registering what she was shuffling through. "You act like you've never bought something just because you wanted it before," she said with her usual level of scathing judgement.

"It was too dangerous," came Neil's distracted response. When Allison peaked over at him, her hand freezing on the shoulder of a sweater, about to slide it down the rack, she saw that he was looking at the hoodie again, studying it with a too-careful blankness she was beginning to recognize as Neil-in-memory.

"Getting something you wanted was too dangerous?" It was harder this time to keep her tone casual but she managed it well enough that Neil didn't fully snap out of his thoughts, wherever they were.

He shrugged. "It was distracting. If you had things you cared about you'd lose sight of survival, or make stupid mistakes."

Allison just stared at him. "You weren't allowed to have things you wanted… because they'd be distracting? Neil that's really fucked up."

Neil looked over at her and grimaced, pulling away from the hoodie. "Whatever, it's not a big deal. Come on, are you done shopping yet?"

For another moment Allison stared, then she stalked forward and violently grabbed the hoodie from the rack, ignoring Neil's startled protests.

"No," she said, pointing at him with her free hand. "You aren't some kid on the run anymore and you don't have to follow your mom's fucked up rules. If you want something, you're going to get it, damn it." If Neil tried to protest again she didn't see it because she'd already whirled around to head up toward the checkout.

Fuck you, Mary.

TWO - DAN

Team Night was something Dan instated right after finals last year. One night a week they all got dinner after practice. The whole team had to be there for at least part of the time. Sometimes they got along, sometimes they fought like half-crazed rabbis raccoons, but they were all together in a situation that wasn't about exy (no matter how many times Kevin or Neil brought it up). If there was anything Dan had learned over her years as Team Captain, it was that they would always operate better on the court if they could also work together off of it.

Tonight they'd gone out to dinner with the whole team before splitting off into various groups back at the dorms. Renee had gone off with Allison and Nicky while Aaron had left right from the restaurant to meet up with Katelyn. The freshmen had split into their own groups - they were still working out their hierarchy among themselves and Dan knew by now that she just had to let it happen - which had left her and Matt and, surprisingly enough, Neil and Andrew. She hadn't really expected the other two to accept her invitation to join them in Matt's room for a movie, but when she's offered Neil had easily agreed and Andrew hadn't protested.

A part of her had still expected Andrew to peel off and go back to his own dorm once they'd returned to Fox Tower, but the reticent goalkeeper had followed them all into the room with no complaint.

"All right!" Matt announced with a grin once the door was shut and locked behind them, crossing to where he kept the booze. "Power Couple Movie Night! Whatcha guys want? Babe?"

Dan chuckled and rolled her eyes affectionately. "You're ridiculous and I love you. I'll have a whisky sour." She looked to Andrew and Neil. "What about you guys? He just stocked up so there's a bit of everything."

"Babe, you're making me sound like an alcoholic."

Dan dismissed the complaint with a wave of her hand and smiled over at the other two.

"Whisky straight." That was Andrew.

Neil just shrugged. "I don't need anything," he said.

"Do you have Dr. Pepper?" Andrew asked, apparently not done.

Matt nodded, lifting a mostly-full two-liter for him to see and setting it on the surface of the cabinet.

"He'll have that with amaretto."

"Andrew."

"Neil."

Dan tried not to be too obvious about how closely she was watching them. It wasn't even a 'how could they be together?' thing. It was just that… Neil was this big mystery, and Andrew was also a big mystery. And now they were together and that just made the mystery balloon exponentially. The two of them fit together in a way that was somehow both surprising and like nothing in the world could make more sense. They had a whole language together of looks and gestures, of silent understandings that the rest of them couldn't even begin to interpret. In a way, this was just like any other couple. Even now, Dan shot a glance over at Matt and they shared a look of their own before resuming their subtle observations of the other couple. Somehow it was different with Andrew and Neil though. Somehow it seemed… heavier. It was fascinating and also kinda unsettling, which only made Dan want to figure it out even more.

After an extended silence where Neil and Andrew had some indecipherable conversation with their eyes alone, Neil sighed, apparently conceding defeat, and nodded agreement to his boyfriend's drink order.

"All right! Neilio is drinking with us tonight!" Matt pumped a fist into the air, shattering the residual tension with his enthusiasm. Dan had probably never loved anyone so much in her life.

Neil smirked his own affection for the big lug and flopped onto the couch, Andrew following with less flourish but a level of relaxed comfort that made Dan's heart soar. It was really happening. Andrew was letting himself trust them, letting himself be a part of the team, letting himself be… one of their friends.

Matt finished making their drinks and brought them over on a serving tray he had been a little bit too excited to buy.

Neil took his drink and cautiously sniffed it, wrinkling his nose. "It smells sweet," he complained.

"You have two choices when it comes to liquor, Josten. It either tastes sweet or it tastes like alcohol." Andrew was entirely unsympathetic, though his gaze remained focused on Neil even as he sipped his whisky. Apparently, this was some either-or that Neil was willing to concede to because he sighed and sipped the drink. After a moment he hummed and took another sip. Another sip turned into a second drink as the four of them collectively decided to skip the movie and instead hang out and talk about the worst movies they'd ever seen. Andrew, surprisingly, had a lot to contribute - as he had apparently seen a lot of movies and had Opinions about all of them. It was very weird and kinda surreal, but also made Dan feel almost giddy.

"Well shit, Neil, if it was just a matter of you not liking the taste of alcohol we'd have stocked up on wine coolers ages ago," Matt said as he handed Neil his third glass later on in the night. He grinned and perched on the armrest of her chair. Dan smiled up at him when he put his arm around her, leaning against him and sipping her own drink as she turned her attention back to the other couple.

The other couple. Well, that was weird.

"Nah, I still wouldn't have had anything," Neil said after another, fuller drink. He leaned back, comfortable. Dan noticed that he and Andrew weren't touching but there was still a weird intimacy with their proximity. It hurt her brain to think about so she didn't focus on it overmuch. Then Neil said, "Mom only brought out the alcohol when I needed to be stitched up," and Dan froze with her drink halfway back up to her mouth. Neil didn't seem to notice, looking into his cup as he continued. "No hospitals, you know, and when I was a kid I always cried a lot and was really loud about it unless I was too drunk to feel anything at all."

And when I was a kid I always cried a lot and was really loud unless I was too drunk to feel anything at all.

When I was a kid…

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Dan peripherally noticed that she wasn't the only one who had gone still. It was so rare for Neil to say anything about his time before he joined the Foxes. It was even more rare for him to bring up his mother - especially in such a… disturbingly revealing way.

Matt was the one to break the silence. "When you say you were a kid you mean…?" There was a false lightness in his voice, like he was trying not to alert Neil to how much he was revealing. Andrew cut him a glare but then looked to Neil without interrupting.

Neil shrugged, swirling his glass lightly, apparently fascinated with the ice as it clinked gently against the sides of the glass. He poked at them with his mixing straw. "Mm, Lola scared me, y'know? I didn't want her to stitch me up. So I begged mum. Dad would hurt her too if she couldn't keep me quiet. I tried, but being noisy was always a problem for me. 's how I usually got in trouble anyhow. Or by not being still enough. Or dropping knives." Neil shivered, his free hand rubbing against a spot on his abdomen like he was worrying away at a memory, some phantom ache from a past that he could never quiet escape from.

Andrew, apparently, had decided this was enough. He reached forward and pulled the glass from Neil's hand with a gentleness that shouldn't surprise Dan anymore. He set the glass on the table and stood, then tugged Neil up with him. He didn't let go of the striker's hand even when he got the other man standing. Once he was sure the other would be steady he glanced over at them with a dark, steady threat in his eyes. "We are leaving now."

A sound beside her alerted Dan to the beginning of Matt's protest and she elbowed him before he could complete it. In its place, she gave a strained smile and nodded. "Of course. You guys are probably tired. See you tomorrow!"

Neil raised his hand in a small wave but he still seemed a little lost, his expression closed, his mind somewhere else.

When the door closed behind them, Matt stood up and walked over to lock it, then he stood there for a moment before turning to face her. His expression was dark and angry and echoed the storm stirring in his own heart.

"Neil went on the run when he was ten."

It might have seemed a random statement, but Dan was following the same line of thought and she nodded. They'd known that Neil's dad was a bastard, knew he'd been hurt by him and his people when they'd been on the run and it wasn't a far toss to infer that he'd been hurt earlier too. But this confirmation was blood-chilling. Mary's part in it was not comforting.

"She did nothing, Dan. She did nothing. She let him get hurt and then she got him drunk as a little fucking kid to stitch him up again. I know it was a fucked up situation, and I'm sure it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows for her but fuck Dan. Fuck."

Dan nodded, setting down her drink and rising from the chair so she could go to Matt. She knew that she only had a surface understanding of the situation. She couldn't imagine what Mary might have gone through herself, but she couldn't find enough compassion in her heart to make excuses for her. Maybe that made her heartless, she didn't fucking care. What she cared about was that Mary let her own son be hurt badly enough that he needed to get drunk and get stitched up over and over again, before and after they went on the run. What she cared about was that Mary hurt her son over and over herself in order to control him, to keep him under her thumb. Maybe she did it because that's how she thought she was protecting him but intentions meant shit.

Lesser evils were still evil.

There are always choices, always options, and Mary's choices had traumatized Neil just as much as the Butcher's had. Maybe Neil had complicated feelings about his mother but Dan didn't. She had a very clear opinion, actually.

Fuck you, Mary.

THREE - MATT

"Okay so, but why Andrew?" Matt didn't mean anything negative with the question, but he flipped a hand in apology when Neil glared over at him. "I didn't mean it that way. I mean like -- is your type short, blond, and stabby or…?"

"I don't have a type. I don't swing."

Well that made no sense.

"Except for Andrew," Matt clarified, reminding Neil that he was self-admittedly committed to the Monster.

Neil nodded without hesitation. "Except for Andrew," he agreed.

"Right… but… why? Why only Andrew? Didn't you ever like… like other guys, or girls?" Matt studied his best friend, desperate to understand him. He wasn't even being anti-Andrew about this, he was just trying to learn more about Neil and this integral part of him. Neil said he didn't swing, and then of all people to fall for - he falls for Andrew. Matt had thought that maybe Neil had been shy about admitting he was gay or something, but Neil was pretty confident about the whole not-swinging thing. Matt got that there were other sexualities out there, but the idea of just… not wanting anything just didn't make sense to him.

He was surprised when Neil actually said -- "Sure, yeah, when I was like, fourteen or whatever. I wouldn't say I liked anyone, but I noticed girls."

Matt blinked and looked over at him, letting the game controller rest on his lap. "Wait, you did?"

Neil shrugged. "Yeah, but it wasn't allowed so…"

"It wasn't… allowed?" Matt frowned, lost.

"My mom knew they'd be a distraction, that it was too dangerous for me to fall for someone. I don't think it occurred to her that I might like a guy, so when she realized I was noticing girls she made sure I didn't anymore."

Matt was silent for a long moment, letting the implication of that sink in. "When you said she 'made sure' you didn't notice girls…?"

Neil shrugged. "I was stupid. Just telling me wasn't going to do anything." But his friend's casual nonchalance was gone and Matt watched as the other man withdrew into himself. His expression closed down and he scratched his nails through his hair, against his scalp in an anxious tick Matt was pretty sure Neil didn't even realize he did.

A flare of rage heated his lungs and it took concentrated effort to swallow it down. He could imagine what Mary might have done to her son to drill the lesson home.

"That's really fucked up, Neil."

Neil just shrugged, then nodded at the tv. "Are you gonna play or what?" Matt could see that his friend didn't want to talk about it so he let it go, but he wasn't going to forget it.

"Yeah. How about you order some pizza or something? I'm getting fucking hungry." A bit of the tension broke and Neil flashed him a small smile before pushing off the couch to go get his phone to make the order. Matt watched him go and took another breath to make sure his anger was packed away for later.

Fuck you, Mary.

FOUR - NICKY

Christmas! Nicky was so fucking excited about Christmas this year. Not only would Erik be coming into town, but the whole family would be there! Well, the family that mattered anyway. Aaron was bringing Katelyn, Andrew would be there and participating, and Neil was staying with them for the entirety of winter break. It was going to be amazing!!

Already, in the few days since school had let out, Nicky had set about Christmas-ifying the whole house and it was looking amazing if he did say so himself, which he did.

Today was going to be particularly exciting because he had managed to get Neil to agree to go Christmas shopping with him. Erik would be arriving tomorrow morning and Nicky still hadn't gotten his present. Or Aaron's. Or Andrew's. Or Neil's… He'd gotten Katelyn's though! He'd seen an absolutely gorgeous sweater at the mall the other week in just her color so he'd swiped it up. Point being, he had some catching up to do and he suspected that Neil was also behind on his Christmas shopping.

This was confirmed shortly after they arrived at the mall and Nicky asked Neil what he'd gotten for Andrew.

Neil blinked at him, like he was caught off guard by the question.

"I don't think we're getting each other anything," he said, looking downright confused.

"Oh. Oh Neil. Oh Neil no. No, you are definitely getting gifts for each other. You're a couple!"

Neil looked vaguely uncomfortable as he shrugged, but he didn't deny the label and Nicky counted that as progress. "I don't think we're the gift-giving kind…"

Clearly, Neil hadn't been paying attention to the fact that Andrew had been gifting Neil at every fucking opportunity since they'd met. Clothes, keys, food, drinks, more clothes, a phone. At first, Nicky had just thought it was Andrew being possessive in the way he was possessive of all the people he'd decided we're his. It wasn't until after the two had come clean about their relationship (relationship!!!) that Nicky had thought back and realized that Andrew wasn't half as generous with the rest of them. Honestly, Nicky was a bit embarrassed for not noticing it all sooner. This whole time, Nicky thought he was being cryptic when he was just being really, really gay. For shame.

"Mm, well," Nicky hedged, feeling pity for the poor blind idiot. At least he was cute. "You're wrong, but we won't get into it. Just trust me when I say that Andrew has definitely gotten you something." Probably multiple things, actually, but Nicky didn't want to shock the poor cute dummy. "And you can't tell me that you don't want to give him a gift." Nicky stopped, frowning at Neil in disapproval.

"It's not that," Neil admitted, and Nicky wasn't sure he'd ever seen the younger man look more awkward.

"Then what is it. Come on, kid, tell Uncle Nicky."

Neil made a face. "Only if you never say that again."

Nicky laughed, though he realized Neil had a point. That might have been a bit much. "Deal. So what is it?"

Neil shrugged, fidgeting in a restless way that Nicky recognized as one of Neil's tells when he was uncertain or nervous. Neil was someone who needed to be in motion, someone who needed to do things. Nicky related to that, heavily, so he linked his arm through Neil's and tugged him into walking again. The motion seemed to help, and after a few minutes, Neil finally spoke up.

"I've never really done the whole Christmas or birthday thing. Especially not since me and my mom, you know…" He drifted off vaguely, gesturing with one hand like that's was supposed to indicate all the time he and his mom were running from his psycho dad and his evil butcher-buddy minions. Nicky nodded like it had and Neil continued. "It just feels… weird, you know. Like it's a thing that real people do. They go to school and they have holidays with families that don't want to kill them or each other. They buy each other presents that they don't need and that's… normal. But it just doesn't make sense to me."

There was a lot to unpack there, but Nicky's mind caught on the first thing Neil had said and it kept replaying over and over on his head like a skipping record.

Like it's a thing that real people do.

Like Neil wasn't… real.

Nicky stopped walking again, his heart clenching suddenly in his chest. "Wait, hold on. Rewind. Neil, you realize that you are a real person, right?"

Tension wiped Neil's face into an awful blankness and normally Nicky would let it go. He'd make a joke and try and get them back to something lighter, but this was… something was just so wrong about that and he couldn't ignore it.

"Neil," he implored, hands on both the younger man's shoulders, gripping tightly, willing him to open up to him.

Maybe it was a testament to the season of sharing, or maybe it was proof that he and Neil had come a long way since those first few months over a year ago, but for whatever reason, Neil didn't brush him off and he didn't pull away. Instead, he sighed and gave a small shrug, shuffling his feet as he apparently searched for the right words like they were hidden between his shoelaces.

"I didn't feel real for a long time, you know. I couldn't be. Mom was the one who made all the identities for me, the one who chose the names and the covers. She was the one who created everything about the boys I was supposed to be, down to their interests in school and outside of it, just in case someone asked me when she wasn't around. She'd test me on them. I studied those boys with more dedication than I studied for my classes when I was actually in school."

Nicky frowned, confused. "What about your interests and what you were like."

Neil shrugged. "I didn't have any. I wasn't like anything, unless you can count fear as a personality trait."

That… didn't make sense. Neil was saying words, and individually, Nicky knew what they meant, but his brain was struggling to comprehend exactly what they meant when put together in that order.

"But… that's not possible. What about when you saw something you liked, or wanted, or did something that you just… enjoyed. A tv show or, fuck, math. You like math right? That's a part of your personality." He heard the desperation in his own voice but he was too distracted by the conundrum of Neil's 'I wasn't a real person's reveal that he didn't even care to attempt to rein it in.

"Not until I got to Palmetto," Neil admitted. "I didn't have to take a math class my senior year because my forged transcripts already had the required number of classes to graduate and it seemed conspicuous to take more than that. Your average teenager doesn't like math."

"But you thought about it, right? When you were signing up for classes, you thought about adding math, then actively chose not to." A picture of understanding was beginning to form and Nicky felt a little bit sick with what it showed.

Neil frowned, like he was thinking about it, then gave a small nod of reluctant agreement.

"So… there was something you liked, something that was you and you just, what, instinctively went 'No, bad idea'. Why?"

"It's what my mom would have done," was Neil's instant, confident reply. He hadn't even had to think about that one. Then, to Nicky's horror, he elaborated with, "Mom was a stickler on that kind of stuff. If I liked something, if I felt pulled to anything, it was dangerous and bad. I learned quickly enough to avoid anything that interested me so it wouldn't distract me. Surviving was what was important."

Yeah. Yeah Nicky definitely felt a bit sick now.

"When you say that you 'learned quickly enough'...?" Nicky wasn't sure he actually wanted to know, but that didn't stop him from asking the question.

"Mom--" Neil actively stopped himself this time. "It isn't important. Look… are we going to go shopping or what?"

Nicky wasn't willing to let it go. "Neil. Did she… like, hurt you? For having interests?"

Now Neil looked more than just a little uncomfortable, and the way he didn't meet Nicky's eyes was all the answer he needed. Nicky wanted to hug Neil just then, but he managed, at the last second, to hold himself back. He'd probably pushed harder than he should have already and he was trying to be better about boundaries. Instead he squeezes his shoulders and then pulled his hands away.

"Well, come on. Let's finish shopping. I'll help you pick out something for Andrew if you aren't sure what to get him."

Neil looked so visibly relieved that Nicky's heart broke. "Ah, yeah… thanks Nicky." The small smile he shot him was enough that Nicky forgot the boundary thing and just hugged him. Ugh, that poor kid. No wonder he was so confused whenever anyone was kind to him if his own mother had treated him like he wasn't even a real person to the point where Neil had legitimately started to believe it. Nicky had his issues with his parents, all the Foxes did -- it was part of what made them Foxes -- but this was kind of another level.

Nicky kept his arm around Neil's shoulders as he lead the younger man off to shop, now determined to make this the best fucking Christmas ever. Because Neil was a real fucking person and he deserved that frivolous normalcy. He deserved to like things and to want things.

Fuck you, Mary.

+1 - AARON

Aaron didn't usually care about whatever was happening in Josten's weird little brain. It wasn't a place he was eager to explore, to be perfectly fucking honest, and he was unfortunate enough to be subjected with the assshole's proximity often enough as it was. However, it was hard to ignore the man when he was having a literal mental breakdown right in front of him. He wished he could. He wished he could turn around and walk away, shut the door, and go back to not caring. Unfortunately, parallels had just been drawn that he couldn't unsee and now turning his back on Neil almost felt personal. It was incredibly uncomfortable and for a long moment Aaron just sat there, silent, in the wake of what just happened.

It had gone like this:

Andrew and Neil had been on separate ends of the couch doing homework. Nicky and Kevin were still sleeping off the trip to Eden's Twilight last night, and Aaron was slowly letting himself wake up to a hot cup of coffee and some random show on tv. Then that random show had transitioned into some kind of true crime show that had dragged everyone's attention to the screen with a single word.

Wesninski.

As it turned out, the show wasn't actually about the Wesninskis, but rather about crime in Europe. The Wesninski mention was due to the current segment on the Hatfords, a British crime syndicate -- the one Neil's mother hailed from. It was her picture on the screen when their collective attention all snapped to the screen, and the tension in the room suddenly increased tenfold.

Mothers were a bit of a complicated topic for everyone in the room. It was also probably the one thing that Andrew was unwilling to touch with a ten-foot pole, not even for Neil - and Aaron was long since past denying that those two had something going on far deeper than sexual tension and a disdain for ninety percent of humanity.

So the room had frozen, holding a breath with a shared lung. Then Andrew had stood, moving to snatch up the remote so he could turn off the TV when Neil said, "No."

Aaron had never seen Andrew stop so fast in his life. His twin's face remained blank, but there was a darkness in his eyes that Aaron was queasily familiar with. It was a cruel, angry darkness and he didn't envy Neil for being the subject of it as Andrew turned his gaze on the striker.

"If you want to cry over that bitch I am not going to stick around to suffer it." The words came out low and hissed and even Aaron could hear the sharp rage beneath the forced facade of indifference Andrew was attempting to keep in place.

Neil looked like he wanted to hit Andrew but he managed to keep his response to a sharp, venomous, "Fuck you."

Andrew held the remote up to eye level then dropped it. It landed hard enough on the table that it bounced off, the back popping off and the batteries scattering. Then he was striding out the front door. Aaron expected it to slam, but somehow the gentle click of it just under the murmur of the crime show was just as finite.

It was like getting to watch a moment he'd lived over and over again over the course of years from the outside for the first time. In fact, it wasn't like that - that's what it was. Something anxious and sick curled in the pit of his stomach as Aaron looked from the closed door to Neil's tense, shaken form. He hated this. He hated sympathising with Neil. He hated understanding Andrew's anger. He hated not being able to pick a side. Aaron had heard enough about Mary Hatford to know that she was just as fucked up as Nathan Wesninski, dragging her son around, forcing him into isolation, beating him, fucking him over socially for his whole damn life when she probably could have just saved them both by either going straight to the FBI or calling up her own crime family. He knew that Neil didn't blame his mom when he probably should. He knew he made excuses, that he grieved for her. He knew he missed her and he also knew that it was really, supremely fucked up.

He also knew that he was just as guilty for the unworthy idolization of an abuser. It had taken him years to get to the point where he was willing to admit that, though. It was meeting Katelyn that had him finally looking at his past with a sobering dose of reality. It was only after months of wrestling with himself that he'd finally been able to accept the truth. Months of Katelyn's steadfast support, months of sessions with Bee beyond the joint sessions with Andrew, months of introspection that left him mentally and emotionally wrung dry -- and Tilda hadn't had half the physical and emotional ammo that Mary Hatford had probably levied against her young son.

Aaron watched Neil vibrate in place, watched his hands curl and his throat work, watched the pain and the rage and the grief flash through his eyes even as he tried to swallow it all down. He watched Neil, but he saw himself, and it was more than disconcerting.

He didn't make the conscious decision to speak before he said, "I get it." In fact, he almost didn't realize he had spoken until Neil snapped his attention over to him like he'd forgotten he was still in the room at all.

Neil didn't respond, probably too caught up with the war in his own head to form words -- a rarity for the loud-mouthed striker.

"She was all you had," Aaron said, and he wasn't sure if he was actually talking to Neil, or talking to the version of himself that still clung to the corner of his memories, desperate to validate the only person that might have loved him, the one person that should have loved him, when he needed it the most. "She was all you had, and that's what kept you going. Not her rules and not whatever it was that she did to make sure you survived. That it was her and you, that you had each other, and that that meant something. She'd do whatever it took to protect you, she was the only one who would do that, and it was everything, right?"

He could tell by the widening of Neil's eyes that he'd hit the nail on the head. He didn't look away as he continued with his truths, knowing he was probably the only person that had ever vocalized an understanding -- that he was probably the only person who could understand.

"And then she was gone. And it wasn't only her that died. It was everything that she was supposed to be. She died, and all you had left were the 'almost's and 'not enough's and the 'never again's. And if you let yourself believe that she was just as bad then everything was for nothing. All the times you cared. All the times you tried. All the times you did everything you could to be what she expected of you. None of it would matter, because she was gone, and she could never redeem herself, and it was all pointless." Aaron heard his voice like someone else was speaking. It was too calm, too quiet, too knowing. It didn't feel the desert in his chest, scorching and dry and far too exposed. He saw Neil's reaction like he was looking in a mirror and it was more than a little bit unsettling. He understood the flash of anger in his eyes, the stubborn refusal in the set of his jaw, then the reluctant acceptance when his shoulders dropped. Aaron hated understanding anything about Neil Josten. He hated even more that it was this that they had to share. Something so raw, so close to home it had a permanent home inside his chest, nestled between his lungs. It wasn't fair.

Then again, he was a Fox for a reason he guessed. Life just wasn't fucking fair to a Fox.

Neil looked away, then deflated against his corner of the couch. He tilted his head back and Aaron saw his throat work as he fought emotions neither of them wanted Aaron to be a witness to. Aaron averted his eyes. He only looked up again when Neil spoke. The other man's voice was quiet but steady.

"The one thing she harped on most, more than anything else, was how attachments to anyone or anything other than my own survival were going to get me killed. Even to her. She told me so many times to run, leave her behind, but I… I never could. She never left me behind, even when there were times when I wanted her to. She'd probably be rolling in her grave if she could see me now…" Neil's voice drifted off as his gaze locked on the front door over Aaron's shoulder. Aaron didn't need to be psychic to know that he was thinking specifically about Andrew, about how much he'd risked for Andrew - not just to be with him, but also to protect him. Going to Evermore, allowing Nathan's men to take him quietly… yeah, Mary probably wouldn't be too happy about that, and not in the caring, not wanting Neil hurt way. She'd be pissed that Neil cared about something so much to take that risk, after all she'd done to try and beat that ability out of him.

"She was trying to make me soulless," Neil said without taking his eyes away from the door. "She hated it so much whenever I showed any glimmer of a personality. Whenever I was anything other than a possession she kept and controlled. My mother loved me, in her own way…" His mouth tensed, pursed, then he looked at Aaron.

For a moment, the two of them just looked at each other, a shared understanding between them.

"That's not enough," Aaron finally said.

Neil looked down, then up, meeting his eyes. "No," he agreed, "it's not."

On the tv, the show was still talking about the Hatfords. Not all that much time had actually passed since the segment started. Neil looked at the tv, then stood and gathered up the scattered pieces of the remote. He put it back together and spared one more glance at the screen, which now showed a picture of the Hatford family at some event when Mary and her brothers were teenagers. Then he lifted the remote and resolutely changed the channel.

"I'm going to take the car to pick up some food, you want anything?" Neil asked as he moved to get his shoes, then take his keys from the hook near the door.

Aaron snorted. "No. I'll order something if I get hungry." There was still some time until he'd want lunch, but he knew this dance by now. Neil and Andrew would drive off together. If he wanted food he was better off taking it into his own hands. It was entirely likely the other two wouldn't be back until closer to dinner.

Neil nodded once, then was out the door. Aaron watched him go, then sighed and turned back to his coffee, considering it.

He didn't like sharing something with Neil fucking Josten. It was annoying and uncomfortable. But all the same… he understood. And like it or not, they were tied together now. Maybe he wasn't ready to say 'fuck you' to the memory of his own mother, and Neil definitely wasn't ready to do the same regarding Mary Hatford, but they could acknowledge the similarities in their stories and that was a start -- for both of them.

Aaron sighed and closed his eyes. He pointedly didn't think about his own mother and instead let himself eagerly latch onto the other man's sympathetic demon as he thought, with vehemence, 'Fuck you, Mary.'

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thekidultlife · 7 years ago

Text

Decadence by Design | The8 Victorian AU

Words: 3626

Genre: Smut with a plot

(A/N: This one is connected to the DK fic Saffron; they’re basically in the same company but this is the darker side of that company lmao Are you guys interested in reading about the other members stories as well? Let us know pls! )

(Just a bit of warning, not every detail in this fic is accurate, sometimes I do it to fit the story but I always try to be as historically correct as possible.)

February 1896

Buenos Aires, Argentina

The pub was unexpectedly filled with lively people tonight as barrels of whiskey and tequila are being consumed by the minute. Men were singing and hollering with ear-knocking noise as hired dancers swayed their bodies sensually according to the strums of the guitar. Yet by the corners of the pub, illuminated only by incandescent bulbs, lie a much quieter spot for those who wish to drink Cuervos in silence. And also for those who wish for secrecy.

“Anything about Lee Chocolates…?”

Despite the dim lighting provided by a poor flickering light bulb, it was easy to discern that the man was stocky, tall and had an unkept beard as he kept on asking in pure Argentinian Spanish. You, on the other hand faced him with your face concealed in a tan colored scarf and as equally suspicious-looking as the other people in that part of the pub. You were glad that there weren’t people near your table—just two other customers who seemed to be minding their own business.

What you didn’t know was that the young Asian man sitting one table away wanted to laugh at your unguardedness. Ever since your conversation began, his ears were trained on your table as he pretended to watch the ice in his glass of brandy melt. If Soonyoung was there to ask what his opinion was, he would’ve told the other guy that he was getting utterly bored. Not because he was just watching his ice until it melts, rather it was because the chase was getting dull.

He saw you lean on closer to your client and whispered. “I heard they’re making a new line using chocolates from Cote D’Ivore.”

Ah yes. The eldest of the young masters had settled in Cote D’Ivore to develop new recipes and cultivate specialty cacaos in the area—well that was what Soonyoung had told him since he was the one in charge for protecting the young master Jihoon and he’d better warn him so that these shady people would never step a foot on Cote D’Ivore.

“You’d have to be more specific than that or you won’t get anything,” the rough voice of the man had woken the Asian man back to the task at hand and heard you replying next.

“I know. Don’t be so impatient,” you said with a glare and threw a kraft colored envelope on the table. “Here’s the map. Now give me the payment.”

Though it wasn’t the best work, it had given you the best income—information-selling, that is. However, you don’t sell just any other information; you were selling information about the international chocolate business. Now that Lee Chocolates had begun revamping its decades long operations, it was one of your bestselling info yet.

You took the small packet handed out to you within seconds and stood up since you had another client right after that. The Asian man waited for the stocky guy to leave before he also stood up and left his table with a grin.

Xu Minghao is out for hunting.

April 1895

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Minghao didn’t expect coffee to look like red berries.

As a person hailed from Fengtian, China, he was more familiar with tea and though he has heard of coffee being imported from Arabia, he has never seen the actual plant. However, as the bodyguard of the youngest Lee sibling, the job offered him the opportunity to learn a lot about chocolates and the ingredients that goes with it.

“Alright, let’s go Minghao!” Chan’s lively voice had him turn around from where he was standing—observing the lush coffee fields before him.

“Has young master sealed the deal already?” he asked as the young man grinned at him and placed an arm over his bodyguard’s shoulder. Even though Minghao was basically Chan’s servant, Chan treated him like he was his best friend.

“It was a great deal! Jihoon would love an additional ingredient to play with,” Chan replied enthusiastically and patted Minghao on the back. “Come on, let’s visit the market and see what they have there!”

Chan’s job in particular was to source out ingredients to make new chocolates with and it was always a dangerous task to take. There were a lot of competitors in the chocolate market and everyone wants to get ahead of the other even if it meant taking the less moral route. Minghao was there to alleviate that sort of problem in Chan’s mind, so he can travel worry-free. Chan has no idea how his bodyguard doubles as an agent in taking down those who leak information about Lee chocolates.

And that was what he was doing that night in a damp alleyway pretending to be beggar.

You were coming down the alley as silently as you could, covered in a long dark trench coat despite the rather humid weather. It was the first time Minghao had seen you physically but knew what you looked like because of the photograph provided by the family’s chief of security Choi Seungcheol and he had finally confirmed that the photo didn’t do you justice by how you seemed like a femme fatale in real life.

“Here’s the recipe for Blended Varietal Truffles with Amaretto,” your voice had his attention back to you again and silently waited for the reply of the person on the other side of the wall which was beyond Minghao’s view.

“Are you sure this is the one by Lee Chocolates?” a man with British accent asked and you nodded.

“You don’t trust me?” you replied but the British man scoffed at you and handed an envelope Minghao assumed was cold cash.

“You better hand me another recipe in six months,” the man demanded.

“Then pay up higher. The company’s being stricter now and it’s getting harder to obtain these things,” you replied with a scowl on your face. “The second Lee son is now managing the company and they have a complete arsenal of countermeasures.”

September 1895

Zurich, Switzerland

Chan had finally finished dealing with the orange liquor suppliers under Jihoon’s request and while Chan was busy with his skiing, Minghao was hanging out at the other part of the resort, eating a frankfurter as he casually eavesdropped once more to your conversation.

“They’re now expanding to exotic recipes, but I got you their truffle machine designs,” you said in a low voice as you handed over a folder.

Minghao had his eyebrows raised at how you were so talented at getting those sort of information. He was sure Yoon Jeonghan, the head for factory management wouldn’t be so happy.

“Good. Here’s the money,” the German replied and handed over his payment which you instantly secured inside your coat.

November 1895

Constantinople, Ottoman Empire

Travelling was one of the many benefits of being Lee Chan’s bodyguard and personal assistant and Minghao could actually decide where they’ll go next since there really wasn’t any system of choosing in the first place. So since he was tracking you down, they went to Constantinople—a place Chan has never set afoot before.

“Wow. Do you see this, Minghao? These are pistachios!” Chan exclaimed excitedly as he handed out a fistful. Minghao took one and saw that it had an beige colored shell with a green nut resting loosely in the inside.

“Go on! Taste it!” Chan urged his rather hesitant bodyguard so he simply removed the shell and place the green nut back on Minghao’s palms. “It tastes great, you know!”

Minghao warily placed it in his mouth and chewed it slowly—savoring the rather distinctive nutty flavor. Nodding his head, Chan grinned at him and continued talking about the pistachio.

“You know, I’ve always been searching for Middle Eastern pistachios! The ones cultivated in the Americas die off easily so we can’t use them as ingredients,” Chan said as he popped another one into his mouth. “Plus, they’re extremely hard to ship since they go on fire so suddenly.”

“They do? Why?” Minghao asked as Chan offered him another handful.

“Dunno. Researchers are still figuring it out,” Chan remarked as he shrugged nonchalantly. “But we better find a way how to get these things into our cargo.”

Later that afternoon, Minghao was enjoying himself with a bag of pistachios as he watched you yet again leak confidential company information. Well, it’s not like it’s not taken care of. There are members of the security department of Lee Chocolates that takes care of the people who bought the information from you and Minghao wasn’t part of it so he simply focused on his job.

“I finally got where they source their macadamia supplies,” you said, sitting on a park bench with an older woman sitting behind you who was smoking.

Oh no. Chan wouldn’t like that. Minghao pondered as he chewed on another nut and saw the smoking woman take a piece of paper which you slid down and gave you your sum of money.

“Excellent. We’re counting on you with the new specialty cacaos,” the woman replied and then stalked off the park as dusk loomed over the streets. Minghao popped the last pistachio in his mouth and went back to the hotel where Chan was deciding which country to go next.

February 1896

Buenos Aires, Argentina

You were actually getting late to an appointment with a client tonight who actually asked for a sampler of the latest pistachio-coffee creation which wasn’t even released on the market yet. You always commended how good the people working in Lee Chocolates are with how they found the ingredients, how they make the recipes, how they market it, how they manage everything so efficiently and how they hide their secrets so well these days. Honestly speaking, you were actually running low on information to sell and was starting to think of switching to another company to infiltrate.

Entering an expensive hotel, you wondered if your client was filthy rich but you only stayed in that state of wondering since the client never gave out his identity, just a place to meet up. You climb the stairs in a hurry and in your coat lie the box of chocolates you were supposed to give. Arriving in front of the designated room, you knocked after taking deep breaths.

“Come in,” a voice answered from behind the door and you walked right in, making sure to lock the door so there wouldn’t be any disturbances.

The room was just like the interior of the hotel—classical European with brown wallpapered walls, light pink sconces and elegant armature made from Argentinian wood. They looked expensive but what looked more expensive was the Asian man with dark brown hair and a tiny smirk on his lips lounging casually on the comfy king sized bed. He was looking at you deviously as soon as you entered the room with his stylish black coat, white button up, and dark wool trousers.

“You’re late,” he said to you in perfect Argentinian Spanish with his rather distinctive voice.

You walked forwards and placed the box of chocolates beside him on the bed in a loud plop. You weren’t really interested in keeping the meet up longer than a few minutes so you simply did your part of the agreement and it was time to do his.

He eyed the box and then back to you—throwing off a knowing smirk. “How can I be sure if you delivered me the right one?”

You raised your brows at him. “You’d better trust me.”

“Or else what?” Minghao grinned and gently opened the wooden box with his deft fingers. “Trust doesn’t grow on trees, love.”

You didn’t reply, instead, you watched him take one of the dome-shaped truffles inside the felt lined box and prodded it on his lips enticingly, gazing at you as if saying, “Would you want a bite?”

Taking a deep breath to forcibly remove yourself from his spellbinding eyes, you shrugged and looked at the porcelain lamp glowing dimly on the nightstand. Minghao was chuckling at your disoriented state and popped everything inside his mouth.

“See? It’s the real deal. It was so hard to get them, so pay up!” you demanded as you hung your coat over your arm yet the man seemed to be taking things leisurely.

“Patience, dear,” he replied, grabbing another piece and stood up. You were surprised how tall he was as he stood before you but what was more surprising was how close he was to your face.

Taking advantage of your shock, he tilted your chin up to meet his eyes and nudged the piece of chocolate to your lips like what he did earlier. He was gazing at you intensely that you were sure you’re gonna melt faster than the truffle on your lips. Unable to resist, you took a small bite out of the chocolate and savored its coffee goodness with the nutty flavor of the pistachio bits.

“It’s delicious, don’t you think?” Minghao suddenly said in a low husky voice which made your stomach go up and down. “Would you let me take a bite too?”

You weren’t given the opportunity to produce a reply, instead, you felt his lips on yours as he swiftly slid his tongue in your mouth, relishing the decadent taste of the chocolate. The suddenness of the situation had stunned you to complete submission and you weren’t able to fight back with how dominant he was holding your waist, pushing you flush against him.

The chocolate had long melted inside your mouth yet Minghao continued to kiss you oh-so-sensually, forgetting about it and simply enjoying how you taste. He had long wanted to do this; probably ever since he had seen your photograph and now, here you were moaning between his arms. It was so good. So, so good. Yet at the same time decadent by nature.

He removed himself from your lips and began attacking your neck—leaving dark marks here and there—but Minghao didn’t care if you’ll see them in the morning. It was a proof of your sin.

“No…wait…” you tried to control the situation but the young man continued nibbling on your skin as if he hadn’t heard you.

“You’re a bad liar,” he whispered against a darkening splotch of skin as you allowed his hands to travel between your legs, noticing how wet you were becoming. “Such a bad, bad liar.”

In your rational mind, you wanted to stop. You don’t just go sleeping with random men who looked utterly delectable as his soft lips suckled on your pulse point, making you groan in pleasure. Yet, you can’t deny it. The man was handsome with his dark hair disheveled by your fingers pulling at them, as he removed your scarf and blouse off of you, as well as your traveling shorts—leaving you on your undergarments which Minghao removed so easily. You were glad you decided not to wear such heavy dresses tonight or you’ll take forever to undress.

Minghao led you to the bed and had you lying on the soft pillows as he hovered above you. You never noticed when he began removing his clothes but now, you saw him only with his black trousers on. Relishing at the sight of his defined muscles, you were yet again mesmerized as the haze of lust clouded your mind. Minghao was looking at you with a grin as he explored your body with his hands.

“Chocolates are well known aphrodisiacs, you know,” muttered close to your ear as he littered more truffles on your chest and stomach.

Your rising body heat and his warm tongue was beginning to melt the chocolates as he kissed and licked your sensitive nipples—ravishing at how the slickness of the liquid chocolate felt on your skin as he groped your breasts. As soon as he was done licking the chocolates off of you, he once again crashed his lips onto yours which had you tasting the remaining chocolate on his tongue.

Breaking off the kiss, you felt him move lower until he began kissing your inner thighs. You were already soaked from the erotic food play from earlier and it just simply made it easier for Minghao to draw slow circles on your clit—turning you into a whimpering mess. Without warning, he slid his a finger into your dripping core that had your back arching in sheer pleasure; moaning out anything you could say. Eventually, he inserted another digit into, then another as you continued to grab on the white sheets until your knuckles were white.

“Please…I’m…close…” you muttered between breathy rasps, begging for him to continue and as soon as Minghao had heard your words, he curled his fingers to reach your sweet spot, making you give out a choked cry.

However, when you were merely a few pumps away from climaxing, the young man had stopped with a low chuckle rumbling from his chest.

“No…please…please…” you whined when he took his fingers out of you and had you suck on them which you gratefully did—swirling your tongue and tasting your juices on his fingers.

“Naughty girls don’t get to come, love. Now come over here and suck me,” he ordered you with so much authority in his voice that you had no choice but to obey obediently.

He was kneeling in front of you with pants open and his cock out of the confined restraints of his underwear as you crawled towards him. But before you could do anything, he prodded your mouth open with his thumb and placed a piece of truffle on your tongue; his eyes glinting in mischievousness as he looked at you below him.

You caught his idea and gradually slipped his cock between your lips. Your tongue twirled around the head as the chocolate began melting in your mouth as he fisted your hair, controlling your movements. Your hand then made its way to the base of his member and pumped the remaining length you couldn’t fit.

Minghao groaned at the sight of you bobbing your head up and down his shaft as the dark stains of chocolate remained on his skin. And when you stared into his eyes with you lips around his cock, Minghao had to bite his lip to stop himself from coming in your mouth. He then forced himself to slip away from you and had you lying back down on the mattress as he spread your legs apart.

“Ready for me, love?”

Even though it was a question, he didn’t need a reply. Minghao rubbed his shaft between your folds just to tease you and when you were beginning to whimper, he finally gave in and pushed his cock into you roughly.

Shocked at the sudden feeling of fullness, you arched your back as you gripped on the sheets for dear life. He was ramming into you with intensity as you cried out incoherent words repeatedly like a mantra. Minghao then shifted his position, grabbing your leg and placing it over his shoulder as he continued to thrust into you relentlessly.

“Y-yes…ah—oh my god,” you cried as a familiar feeling pooled in your stomach. He then reached out for your clit and rubbed it relentlessly; biting his lips to hide a grunt because of how tight you were gripping him.

“Come on, love. Come for me,” Minghao coaxed as he changed angles and pounded right at your sweet spot.

Sound of skin slapping echoed inside the room together with your heavy breaths and loud moans. Minghao was completely enamored with how you looked so utterly fucked out with your tinted cheeks and lidded eyes as he continues to pounded into you until you were crying out; reaching your orgasm. Within a few more thrusts, Minghao pulled out and came on your stomach as you dazedly watch him kiss your lips once more.

You never realized that you fell asleep until you woke up a while later.

Though, you didn’t expect to be handcuffed on the bed railings as your hazy eyes registered the Asian man who just gave you one of the best nights of your life, sitting lazily on a chair in front of you. Immediately panicking, you pulled on the restraints but the young man only gave you a mere chuckle.

“Just how naughty are you love? Having sex with a man without knowing his name,” he spoke first as he glanced at his nails, seemingly uninterested on you.

“You…! What…what is this?!” you shouted yet the man simply scoffed and brushed a hand on his still disheveled hair which you may or may not admit as sexy.

“Can’t you tell, love? You’re being tied up,” he replied with a grin, leaning against the backrest of the chair. “You’ve been a very, very bad girl lately.”

“What…what do you mean?”

“Oh you know what I mean,” his lips crept to a smirk as he stood up from where he was sitting—slowly walking towards you with his hands on his pockets. “Selling information about Lee chocolates and all. Unfortunately for you, I work for them.”

You blanched within seconds after you heard his words as your eyes grew wide. There was no way out of this anymore.

“Oh my god. You’re…you’re Xu Minghao...Lee Chan’s bodyguard,” you muttered in a small terrified voice as the owner of the name held your chin up to look straight into his eyes.

“That’s right, love. Unfortunately, you won’t be seeing anymore clients,” he told you with a menacing grin. “We already took them down.”

You were about to say something when he placed a finger on your lips to shush you.

“But you don’t have to worry about that, love. Fortunately for you, Lee Chocolates is open for hiring.”

-Admin Hyeri

#seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen smut #the8 #seventeen the8 #minghao #xu minghao

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herlikings · 7 years ago

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I know this is 3-months overdue but better late than never, right? Here’s me trying to make a comeback. Let’s see how long I can last until my next hiatus lol.

2017 was definitely another year of beauty obsession and consumption. Probably one of the best years in the field’s industry for impressive trends and expressive creations, too.

For the rest of this post, I will be discussing my favorite products of 2017. Not all categories are included and not all highly talked-about products will be discussed (i.e., I do own the Huda Beauty Desert Dusk palette and the Jaclyn Hill x Morphe palette, but I haven’t had time to play around with it).

Let’s start off with skincare...

I’m at that age where I want to focus more on my skin, but also do not know exactly what I need for my age and skin type. However, among all the skincare products I recently started to accumulate, these three have been my tried-and-true for awhile...at least enough for me to continue repurchasing.

1. I love to my Clarisonic with the brand’s own cleanser, don’t get me wrong. However, I personally feel like my Clarisonic does not get down deep in my skin like an exfoliating scrub. After using St. Ives Fresh Face Apricot Scrub my skin feels more refreshed and cleansed. The added texture from the walnut grains, with the light smell of the apricot extract, is a pleasant way to wake myself up in the morning, especially for mornings after a long-wear of makeup. I personally keep my bottle in my shower.

2. I classify my skin to be more on the normal/oily side of the spectrum. I often go through phases of dry patches on my skin especially once fall and winter comes around. I like to believe my skin is a bit sensitive after some failed trials with facial masks, so I wanted a moisturizer that I knew wouldn’t irritate my skin. I used the Neutrogena Hydro-Gel Moisturizer for Very Dry Skin for awhile but it was alright. I repurchased it even thought I felt as if my skin was not fully hydrated; it felt like the gel sat on top like a hydrating primer. I forgot how I was convinced to try Philosophy’s Renewed Hope in a Jar Moisturizer in the first place but I’m glad I was willing to try it out during my time with Ulta Beauty. A little does go a long way but my skin always feels firm and perfectly hydrated (but not too hydrated).

3. I am still trying to get my mind wrapped around the use of micellar waters but I find this one to be especially handy in my kit. I like to use this with a cotton pad after using a makeup wipe. This is also my go-to product when I need to take off my stubborn falsies. It’s super gentle on my natural lashes but strong enough to take the lash glue off.

I truly believe foundations was one of my highly purchased product for 2017. In the past, I rotated between 3-4 different foundations because I did not want spend a lot on just one bottle once I run out (aka I preferred to wear drugstore foundations as often as possible because of it’s pricing compared to high-end formulas). However, I started to notice the benefits of investing in prestige foundations for many reasons (i.e., coverage, finish, and color match [!!!]).

Disclaimer: I am not including primers this year. To me, I feel like I didn’t find at least one primer that made me go, “WOW this is amazing.” Nonetheless, I still use primers as part of my makeup routine since I already have some in my kit.

1. Another tried-and-true that I constantly mention: Make Up Forever Ultra HD Invisible Cover Foundation. Medium to full coverage. This formula isn’t heavy on my skin; extremely lightweight and easy to blend. Little-to-no white cast. Also, this is one of the foundations in my collection that has the most spot on color match with my skin.

2. I was a bit hesitant to try this brand because no one really talked about it on social media. When I used to work at Ulta Beauty, a Fiona Stiles representative actually convinced a couple of my staff members (including myself) to not only try out the products but to purchase some as well (during this time of our training, the brand was on sale). I absolutely loved how smooth the Fiona Stiles Matte Finish Foundation Concentrate made my skin look. Since it is a concentrate, it does have a mouse-like consistency and is definitely my most full-coverage foundation out of the three favorites. With that being said, a little goes a long way for me. I also prefer to use this with a sponge. The finish isn’t completely matte - more of a satin finish if anything. Then again, maybe that’s because I prefer to apply with a sponge.

3. How can I not mention Fenty Beauty Pro Filt’r Soft Matte Foundation in my favorites? This is the first, and for now, the only product I have purchased from Rhianna’s line. I was going to wait on purchasing this foundation right away but a lot of my favorite beauty gurus I follow said nothing but good things. I’m glad I caved in and bought it. The first time I tried this on, I was just going out with some friends for a movie night. Applied this foundation a couple of hours before heading out just to see how it would wear. Caught a late movie and arrived home past midnight. As soon as I got home, I checked the mirror and oh my...I was so impressed with how it lasted - it still looked natural and felt lightweight. My oil was probably breaking through a bit at that point but not as bad. I was just obsessed and impressed with how my skin looked after many hours. This foundation became my go-to foundation for the rest of the year. As much as I tried to use a different foundation, I could not stay away from this. I prefer to use a brush for this foundation to get a fuller coverage, and then sometimes I go over the layer with a damp sponge after. I learned that tip from a Sephora associate at the mall and I can see why she does that extra step. This is such a great product that I decided to pack it in my traveling kit for some of my trips. The only thing I would critique about this product is the packaging: the cap feels flimsy so I’m always scared to pack it as is (I actually “repack” in it’s original packaging for my trips). I also don’t like how the pump gets dirty easily because it’s hard to clean sometimes.

2017 was the year of I learned to be more appreciative of concealers.

1. My ultimate favorite concealer of the 2017 is the NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer. When Ulta Beauty finally started to sell NARS during my time of employment, I was so excited to try the concealer because that meant that I can 1) see what the hype was all about and 2) use my employee discount on it haha. I fell in love immediately. My favorite part about this concealer is that it blurs out the appearance of lines and wrinkles. When the NARS representative came in to give a short training, he mentioned light-diffusing technology, which helps give one’s complexion a radiant, natural look. It is also a medium-to-full, buildable coverage.

2. Colourpop Cosmetics continues to impress the beauty industry with their phenomenal products at affordable prices. Their No Filter Concealers are full-coverage, similar to Shape Tape (but has a thinner consistency) for a fraction of the price. First, I got shade Light 20 only because it was rumored to be a similar shade compared to my other concealers. When i first tried it out it appeared too light..much lighter than my Shape Tape. However, it looked perfectly fine once blended out with a sponge. Yes, maybe a tad bit lighter than what I’m used to but definitely usable. The next time I made a Colourpop purchase, I ordered shade Medium 30 hoping it would be a better fit. This shade works for me but for days when I do not want to put a full face on; it has enough coverage to blend in with my skin if I don’t put any foundation/base on. Blends seamlessly.

3. Last but not least, of course I had to include Tarte Cosmetics Shape Tape Contour Concealer. Full coverage. Better color match, in my opinion, compared to the shades Colourpop currently offers. Even though it’s a thicker consistency, it doesn’t feel too heavy or drying. A little goes a long way.

I tried numerous of bonzers this past year from undertones to formulas. These stuck out to me.

1. Tried-and-true my LORAC PRO Contour Palette. They did come out with a cream contour/conceal palette, but I still preferred their powdered version. I love this palette so much that I already hit pan on the banana powder and the large bonzer pan. Blends out easily. I always recommended this over the ABH contour palettes when I was working at Ulta Beauty.

2. Another tried-and-true: Benefit Hoola Bronzer. Can’t go wrong with this either. This has the perfect amount of neutral-gray undertones to provide a natural shadow in definition. Can also be used to contour.

3. When Colourpop released their pressed powder highlighters and bronzers, I was excited to try them. The highlighers are okay, but this Pressed Powder Bronzer in “Afternoon Delight” is impressive. It blends out so easily without leaving any streaks. This shade is perfect for my skintone - it’s warmer than the Hoola bonzer but not too orange or red.

I was totally obsessed with the glow this past year.

Disclaimer: I did not include any blush this year because I did not find one (other than the Amaretto in the BECCA split pan) that I gravitated to the most. I do have plenty of blush options, though.

1. The BECCA Cosmetics Split Pan Shimmering Duo in “Prosecco Pop/Amaretto” was ultimate my travel buddy of 2017. Brought this with me on most of my trips more than any other product. Prosecco Pop is a warm gold shade which allows it to pop without being too intense like it’s white gold sister, Champagne Pop. Amaretto is a beautiful blush - it’s not too brown to look like bronzer, but adds natural flush on the cheeks. Plus, having two products in one made packing a no brainer.

2. My initial thought when I swatched this highlighter was, “OH MY GOSH. Why didn’t I purchase this highlighter sooner?” Ofra Cosmetic’s Rodeo Drive is surprisingly, yet stunningly, so intense that you need to apply with a very, very light hand. One sweep across your cheekbones and you may blind someone. You should have seen my facial expression when I first applied it... *jaw dropper*

3. Colourpop’s Super Shock Highlight in “Wisp” is another one of my tried-and-true products, of course. This gold-champagne color and cream-to-powder formula adds a nice glow-from-within. Almost always packed this in my makeup bag when I traveled. Sometimes, I layer this under a powder highlighter to make my glow long-lasting and extra poppin’ throughout the day.

I didn’t know how else to name this category but it’s all related to the eye-area.

1. For the first time in a long time I did not mention my MAC Fluidline Brow Gel... I still love that product, though. The only reason I replaced it with the Anastasia Beverly Hills’ Dipbrow in “Dark Brown” is because this was my most used brow pomade of the year (mostly because I used the tester when at work). I started off with a darker shade to balance out my black hair I had going on earlier in the year, then switched to this as the black was fading out. A little goes a long way, but I still have to be careful with the amount of pressure I put on my hand + the amount of product on my brush during application.

2. I think I found my new favorite eyeliner. Caved in and tried Stila’s Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Liner in “Intense Black” after recommending to Ulta Beauty shoppers. It is one of the best selling eyeliners at Ulta Beauty and my personal favorite compared to KVD’s. This eyeliner doesn’t smear and it glides on easily. The felt tip brush is flexible but doesn’t wear out. I’ve tried other liquid eyeliners similar to Stila’s but this forsure is still the best I’ve ever tried. Best believe I have a backup in my kit.

3. 2017 was the year I started to comfortably and causually wear false lashes. I loved Ardell’s Studio FX Wispie lashes until this Eylure Luxe Faux Mink Lashes in “Opulent” came into my life. It’s fluffy and soft; the band isn’t thick and is easy to work with. The first time I glued the pair on, I almost forgot I was wearing it. That is how light it felt.

A lot of brands released numerous of eyeshadow palettes all throughout 2017.

As mentioned earlier, I may not discuss all the breakthrough products of 2017, such as the Jaclyn Hill x Morphe palette or the Huda Beauty Desert Dusk. I do have both of the palettes but just haven’t touched them yet, or at least used them enough times.

1. Another tried-and-true to mention: Tarte Cosmetics Tartlette in Bloom. When I got this around the time of it’s release, I did not want to use any other palette. I wanted to mention this in this year’s favorites because it’s still one of the few products that works best on me over time. The amazonian clay formula is easy to diffuse without losing it’s pigmentation. It may have some fallout but I’m okay with it since it’s easy to blend out. The colors are great all year long. I recently got Tarte’s new Toasted palette but haven’t had time to play with it yet. I am certain that’ll be just as amazing as this Tartelette in Bloom.

2. Everyone’s favorite, Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance. I think I mentioned in a previous post how much I absolute love the brand’s eyeshadow formulation - definitely one of my top favorite out there. This palette is clearly more bold in color scheme compared to the Tartelette in Bloom, but still flattering for different looks and on for different skintones. Created some of my favorite looks with this palette. A bit more fallout than Tarte and not as buttery, but smooth enough to work with. However, I think this has deeper color payoff than Tarte. In other words, it’s still worth it.

3. I kept debating whether or not I should purchase this palette but I’m so happy I caved in. This Urban Decay Naked Heat Palette is especially perfect for both summer and fall. The colors included can create both a warm, orange look or a deep plum smokey-eye. Probably the best set of formulation across the eyeshadow pans in the Naked palette series.

Last but not least, my favorite category...lipsticks. I own a lot already yet still continue to purchase more than necessary. I have a problem.

1. When I worked at Ulta Beauty, Nudestix was my go-to brand to upsell. Not only is the brand’s focus on easy-to-use products for people on-the-go, but it was also one of my favorite brands to personally use. These products are 1) perfect for busy people like me, 2) easy to pack (you can fit about 4 stix in one case, which also includes a mirror inside), and 3) almost most of the products are multi-purpose. When I had to get ready before operation hours I would run to the Nudestix fixture and create a look within 5 minutes. Guests constantly asked what I products I used on my face and later left with a couple Nudestix. My favorite lipstick they recently created is the Magnetic Matte Lip Color in “Boho.” When I had to set up the fixture and saw this color on the model, I knew I had to have it on my lips. It screamed “Coachella,” “90′s vibes,” and so much more to me. On my lips, it eventually feels a little bit more drying than expected but worth the color. It’s also long-lasting if properly moisturized beforehand.

2. Another nude to mention is the Kylie Cosmetic Lip Kit in “Dolce K.” I owned other shades before Dolce K but tend to gravitate to this shade more than the others. I barely use the lip liners (just because it’s easier to apply liquid lipstick when on-the-go), but the deep, beige nude color is a flattering nude on my complexion. I like the formulation of Kylie’s liquid lipsticks, too - long-lasting and not too heavy.

3. So here’s a funny story. When I moved back home and started to unpack my makeup collection, I found two unopened MAC Lipstick in “Whirl.” With that said, I keep one in my bag at all times no matter what. This dirty rose shade is one of my favorites because it’s not too pink nor too dark; it’s a great shade for some added color.

4. Jeffree Star Velour Liquid Lipstick in “Leo” has more of an orange undertone compared to the others, but it’s still a nude that works on me. According to the site, it’s “a true honey brown.” Pretty accurate. I purchased numerous of Jeffree Star liquid lipsticks all at once, but Leo is the only one that I tend to gravitate to the most. As much as I like Leo, I’m more of a Pisces (lol get it).

5. Last but not least, Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in “Bow n Arrow.” I love this shade so much. Probably the lightest nude I would and could actually wear. This fawn nude color is very neutral in tone, in my opinion. I tend to wear this when I have a dark, smokey eye.

AND THAT’S ABOUT IT.

That’s my take on my favorites from 2017, justified with my own personal experiences and opinions.

I wonder what will standout to me in 2018... Or maybe I should just use up everything I currently have in my kit... Only time will tell.

#makeup #beauty #bblog #beauty favorites #bblogger #ontheblog

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anavoliselenu · 5 years ago

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freedom cha 18

SELENA POV

"The Freedom to kill is the right to every human being, even if it produces the worst consequences." –Mark Twain

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie MEyer.

I took the makeup brush and ran it over my eyelid, artfully smudging my skin with eye shadow. I was going for a different kind of look than normal and I wasn't sure how I liked it so far.

"Alice, are you sure this is what the magazine said?" I asked, looking at her in the reflection of my bathroom mirror.

"I think so. Maybe you're using too much. It looks funny." Her face scrunched up.

"Why do you read that garbage?"

"It's not garbage! Here, let me try." Alice took the brush and began doing my makeup herself.

"I don't like this." I sat with my hands in my lap. "I'm just going to wipe it off before the night is over."

"But you promised we could at least try it," Alice said. "And it doesn't look that bad."

"Yes, it does," I argued.

We were currently getting ready for a birthday party for a rather wealthy philanthropist named Conner Dunn. He was an older man with his hands in everything from education to public policy to medical wellbeing. He was very influential in the community, and the Biebers had been invited to attend his small gathering. He also happened to be one of Justin's professors at Brown, and one of his favorites. The only ones not joining us were Alec, Jane, Carlisle, and Esme.

We were more than happy to go.

Emmett had told me that a lot of Justin's college buddies would be there since they all knew Mr. Dunn as well. I couldn't believe my ears at first until he pulled out a Dartmouth yearbook and showed me a very young, smiling Justin in a fraternity picture, with Greek letters spelled across his chest on a sweatshirt. I nearly fell out of my chair.

The Justin I knew would never be social enough to be in a fraternity, especially one with manly bonding. He explained that he just joined because Jasper and Emmett had, but he was glad he did. The connections were invaluable, he said. I couldn't wait to hear about College Justin stories.

"There, I'm done," Alice sighed proudly.

"I'm not wearing all of this makeup." I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a clown, all thanks to Alice's new fashion magazine. She decided I was her test dummy.

"I agree," Rose said, shaking her head.

I reached for one of the makeup wipes and began taking it all off. I was more a natural kind of girl and Justin preferred it that way too. This was ridiculous. Once my face was free of powders and liquids, I started again.

Five minutes later, I was finished and I had a healthy glow, nothing overly done or dramatic.

I pulled my hair out of its pins and let it fall over my shoulders, styling it simply. I stood up and smoothed out my dress. It was black and fitted around my body until it fell at the knee. It was actually kind of sexy, but I didn't realize that until I put it on.

"Wow, your boobs look great in that," Alice commented, looking at me in the mirror.

"Thank you." I shrugged.

"I wish I was pregnant just for the breasts." Alice hung her head, gazing at her own chest.

I watched Rosalie's face fall slightly. I glared at Alice who rolled her eyes. Rose walked out of the bathroom, sniffling.

"Why did you have to do that?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to," she replied. "I wasn't trying to make her sad."

"You know she's sensitive about that topic."

"I'm not going to shut my mouth every time I want to talk about babies. That's stupid. She's been crying for five years on my shoulder. I understand, but millions of women can't have kids. They don't bawl their eyes out every second," Alice ranted.

"I'll go do damage control." I headed into the bedroom where Rose was sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry about this." She shook her head. "I hate crying."

"I know you do." I sat down, rubbing her back. "She didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"When you… lost the first one, was it hard for you?" Rose blew her nose.

"Incredibly hard. I didn't know how to handle it. I would just cry for days and I was so young."

"Do you think about it now?"

I nodded. "Sometimes. Roman and Sophia would have an older sibling. It's so strange to think that."

"I'm sorry we never helped you through it."

"I know you are, but you have us here if you ever need anything."

"Thank you so much." Rose hugged me tightly. "I just kind of want to be alone for a minute."

"Okay, we'll be in the bathroom."

I got up and let her be so that she could have a good cry.

I thought about Elizabeth a lot, but didn't shed many tears anymore. Only when I really contemplated how my future might have changed if she was here. It was hard for me, but harder for Rosalie. She had lost so many now, and I couldn't imagine the pain she went through.

Alice was finishing up her hair when I went back to the bathroom.

"You're being really insensitive," I told her.

"I am not. I love her like a sister, but I can't stand it when she gets all depressed like that. It brings down my mood."

"Because it's all about Alice?" I said sarcastically, pulling on my red stiletto heels. They were very high, but I could do it.

She didn't bother acknowledge me.

Rosalie pulled herself together and joined us in the bathroom to finish up getting ready. She smiled and put on her usual joyful face, but she was hurting so much. I tried to be as comforting as I could. She and Alice were my older sisters, for all intents and purposes. I loved them both fiercely, and it hurt when one of them were in pain.

I held the banister of the staircase as I went down slowly, trying not to fall before I even got out of the door.

"Hot stuff." Emmett catcalled as we descended. "I like what I see."

Rosalie ran to him like a schoolgirl. Alice did the same with Jasper.

Justin was in the corner, shaded in darkness like some kind of mysterious enigma. He had a flute of champagne held close to his face, his lips in a smirk. He was in a pewter gray suit with a skinny black tie; perfectly formal without trying too hard. His hair was styled, yet disheveled at the same time, as it always was.

"What exactly are you trying to do to me?" he asked when I walked towards him. "Mrs. Bieber, you are going to be turning heads tonight."

"I want to turn your head." I pushed him gently against the wall.

"Your hormones are getting the best of you again." He chuckled. "We talked about this over aggressive sexual nature."

"I can't help it."

"You know what would set your outfit off even more?" He pulled me closer to him.

"What is that?"

Justin reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a strand of shining diamonds.

"You bought me another gift?" I exhaled in surprise, watching the jewels sparkle. "Wow."

"I've had it for a while. I forgot to give it to you on Valentine's. You distracted me with those chocolate dipped strawberries."

The color in my face rose as I remembered that particular night of sexual debauchery.

He turned me around and moved my hair, placing the necklace around me before fastening it.

He kissed my bare shoulder. "Beautiful."

There was a knock at the door, interrupting our moment.

"The elder Mr. and Mrs. Bieber." Gioni presented Carlisle and Esme in the foyer like this was some kind of grand ball.

"We've come to babysit." Esme held up her bags of gifts for Roman and Sophia. "I'm so excited and Carlisle will be on his best behavior."

"I haven't cared for a baby in thirty years." He shrugged. "I'm sure it's not that different."

We had made headway on rebuilding some sort of relationship with them. It wasn't as solid as before, but Justin had toned down his anger. I don't think he saw them as enemies anymore, so it was getting better. He was finally comfortable in leaving the babies alone with Carlisle and Esme, who opted out of the birthday party tonight. Of course, they would be under the watchful eye of Katy Nana, but I was sure everything would be fine.

There was light talk as we drank a little and prepared to leave. Justin wanted to go, but we were about half an hour early. I knew if I just kept him entertained throughout the night, he wouldn't get aggravated. He didn't do well in social settings like parties. Too many people made him anxious, which made him grouchy and angry. No one wanted to see that.

The catalyst that pushed us out of the door was when Bosco ran and almost knocked me over. Thankfully, Justin caught me when my heels slipped on the marble flooring. Bosco was just excited with the commotion in the house, but Justin nearly forced us into the cars and the dog into the basement.

Justin actually drove this time, letting William have the night off with his wife. We took a silver Bentley that had plush seats and lots of leg room. I seemed like a miniature doll compared to the expansive dashboard and extra-large gadgets of the car.

The lights of the city came into view and Justin began to fidget. I knew something was up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him.

"Um, yeah." He cracked his neck.

"You're lying."

"I just don't know what to expect tonight."

"Why?"

"These guys… I haven't seen them since college and most of them weren't that upstanding then. I just don't how they will react to me."

"Sounds like a college reunion. Just loosen up. Don't be so serious all the time."

"You're right." He sighed.

The party was held at a conference center near the water. It was on the edge of the docks so we could see the water as we parked. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I liked what I saw so far.

I opened the door and made sure I had the gift of wine we brought before stepping out. Justin was there immediately to help me.

"Those are kind of high, Selena." He pointed to my shoes. "You going to be okay?"

"Yes," I glared, "I'm not going to fall over and die."

"Just checking." He chuckled.

The rest of the group parked slightly after us and we walked inside. We had arrived during social and cocktail hour so no one had sat down to dinner yet. I placed our gift on the table filled with wrapped presents and bags.

Justin handed me a drink. "Amaretto sour."

"Thank you." I took a sip. It was good. Really good.

"There's an open bar tonight so I plan to take full advantage." He drank some of the clear liquid in his glass. It smelled like gin and tonic.

"So, where is this famous teacher who you look up to so much? I have to meet him," I said.

"Are you going to embarrass me?" He grinned.

"Of course not. I just want to know the college you. I have a feeling he was quite different."

"That he was. And wild." Justin put his hand on the small of my back, pushing us into a larger ballroom.

Almost immediately, several different men accosted him. They all looked to be about the same age and of the same mold; rich, smart, products of fine homes, and extremely attractive.

"Oh, brother." Justin ran a hand through his hair and then put on a smile.

"Eddie!" A massive man nearly ran over to us. He was almost as big as Emmett. "What the fuck are you doing here? I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"I came for the party. Jasper and Emmett are here too."

"I see that." He clapped his shoulder roughly. "I missed you boys."

"We couldn't run away from you fast enough," Justin joked. I think.

The man turned to me. "And who is this?"

Justin's hold on me tightened. "This is my wife, Selena. Selena, this is one of my fraternity brothers Callahan Reed."

"It's nice to meet you." I held out my hand.

"No, no. I'm a hugger." I was ripped form Justin and lifted into the air.

I found out that all of Justin's college friends were huggers. It was strange at first, but I began to expect it as the night went on. I met men with strange first names that proved how rich their families were and their wives who seemed to be of the same class.

As I suspected, Emmett and Jasper were the social butterflies in college, leaving Justin to pave his own way. Callahan told crazy stories about Justin in the fraternity that I was apprehensive to believe. Things like putting fully assembled cars on the roof of the gym and boarding up the Dean's office. Or on one occasion, stealing a cadaver from the health science building during Halloween. Justin didn't deny a thing. He just laughed and recalled memories that he had seemed to forgotten.

This wasn't the normal posh crowd we tended to see at parties. The room was filled with staunch liberal intellectuals who loved to debate about social unrest. The conversations got interesting, fueled by alcohol, but it was all in jest. Many of the guests were from the city, but more were from out of town and not really familiar with whom I was. Justin made sure they knew I was his wife, and he told me that I gave a remarkable show of impressing them, which was hard with this crowd.

My drinks were kept full, and I enjoyed the buzz while meeting everyone; although, I made sure to pace myself.

"Come on, I want you to meet him." Justin pulled me towards an older looking man with the cutest blue and yellow bowtie I had ever seen. He was short and round, with thick black glasses and a baldhead, but full white beard.

"Justin Bieber!" he boomed. "Dolores, he's here," the man said to the older lady next to him, I assumed his wife.

"I couldn't miss out on your one thousandth birthday." Justin actually gave the guy a manly hug and pat on the back.

"It's a wonder I still leave fingerprints. I'm so old."

"I'd like to introduce you to my wife. Selena, this is Professor Conner Dunn, the man who basically made my life a living hell for four years at Dartmouth."

"I pushed you because you're smart and weren't using your potential," he said seriously, then softened. "It's very nice to meet you, Selena."

"You too. Justin's said so many things about you. It's nice to finally meet."

He introduced me to his wife, who was also a professor, and they seemed so much in love. He would kiss her without even realizing it, and she would hold his hand or touch his arm so lightly. We stayed with them for a couple of minutes until someone told us that dinner was being served.

Justin led me to our table that also sat the rest of the family and a few empty chairs. The centerpieces were beautiful roses in small vases and candles. The mood was intimate with the lights dimmed.

"I'm so glad we came to this." Emmett drank from his cup. "I haven't seen these guys in years."

"I know and half of them are still the same as they were in college," Jasper added. "A mess."

A server came by and asked us what kind of wine we wanted. I chose white, while Justin chose red.

After dinner, there was some dancing. A live band played some great music, and Justin nearly yanked me onto the floor. We weren't the type of couple who danced the night away, but on rare occasions, it happened. Usually it was when Justin had enough bourbon to tranquilize a horse, but he was never sloppy. We ended up swirling and swaying for about half an hour, not a care in the world.

"You're fairly light on your feet this evening," Justin said to me.

"All thanks to your good footwork, no doubt."

"Do you care for a break?"

"Yes, actually," I sighed, exhausted of my dips and twirls.

Justin took my hand and led me from the ballroom, onto the patio outside. It was a lot cooler out here, and I breathed a sigh of relief, sitting on one of the benches. He stood against the railing, smoking a cigarette.

"This is by far the most fun I've had in a long time," Justin said.

"I agree. It's nice to get away from the house for a couple of hours."

"I can't argue with that." He sat next to me.

We stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, just enjoying our peace and quiet.

"How's your… hit list going?" I asked. For some reason, the words came out on their own; I didn't even realize until it was too late.

Justin didn't seem shocked at all. He just took a drag and exhaled smoke. "It's going well. Just two left."

"Really? That was fast."

"I work exceedingly quickly when I have a goal in mind."

"Well, can you maybe keep that to yourself while Charlie is here? I want him to have a pleasant visit."

"I wouldn't dare upset the delicate balance between a father and his daughter." Justin kissed the top of my head.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "Should I just move out of the house until he leaves?"

"No, I'm sure he's warmed up enough now that you dubious activities don't bother him as much as they used to."

"You're too kind."

The next day, I was sitting at a table in a street side café in the city, waiting for Justin to meet me on his lunch break. It was the perfect temperature outside and people seemed to be taking advantage of the weather, walking around or eating lunch in the open like we were.

"Would you like anything to drink?" a waitress asked me.

"Just more water." I smiled.

"No problem."

I spotted Justin across the street, waiting for traffic to disperse before crossing. He looked so incredibly handsome today in a more casual look than he usually wore. I hadn't seen him today before he left for work, so this sight was something to behold.

Justin rarely wore jeans, but when he did, he wore then extremely well. They were tight, but not too tight, and hung just the right way. His white t-shirt underneath didn't have a wrinkle in sight and over it, he wore a navy blue military-like jacket that made his chest seem even broader than usual. He had on Aviator sunglasses and his hair was in its usual form of disarray.

"Sorry I'm late." He leaned down to kiss me.

I was slightly stunned and left my mouth handing open for a couple of seconds while he sat across from me.

"What?" he asked, taking off his glasses.

"You look… good."

"Oh, well, thank you." He seemed genuinely surprised that I thought so.

"What's with the casualness?"

"We're doing some moving around in the office, so everyone got to dress down."

"Moving furniture and stuff?"

"More or less. We're trying to clean up before the Feds show up." Justin shrugged, waving over our waitress. "Have you ordered?"

"Not yet. I was waiting for you."

"Good." The waitress came over with a happy disposition. Justin didn't even let her greet him. "We'll have two chicken Caesar salads, one with no onions and the other with no tomatoes. I'll have a glass of Pinot Grigio with one ice cube. If it's more than one, I'm complaining to the manager. That will be all."

She looked taken aback, and stuttered.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, belittling the waitress further. "Would you like me to repeat it again?"

"Uh, no, sir." She shook her head and left.

I sighed, "Justin, you have got to reign in that attitude of yours. It's not going to get you anywhere in life. I hope to God Roman is more temperate than you are."

"He tried to throw a spoon at me this morning. He's going to be worse than I ever was." Justin seemed happy about that. "How has your day been so far?"

We talked about mundane things for a while, not getting into anything heavy over lunch. The waitress from before steered clear of our table, unless it was absolutely necessary when Justin called her over. She was terrified of us.

"So, you're done for the day?" I asked him, almost overly excited at the thought of having him all to myself for the rest of the day.

"Yes, I am." He grinned. "Did you have anything in mind? Sexually, maybe?"

"Justin, stop it. We had sex last night… twice," I whispered. So…

"I can't help it. Something about this spring air has me horny as a beast."

"Sex will have to wait." I stood up from the table, laying down a couple of bills for the waitress' tip. Justin refused to pay it.

"Can you drive me home?" Justin asked, following me onto the sidewalk.

"Sure."

"I had Jasper drop me off at the office this morning."

I looped my arm through his as we walked to the parking garage down the street. "We first we need to go grocery shopping."

"For?"

"All of Charlie's favorite things." I pulled out a list from my purse. "Rainer beer, and smoked blueberry bacon. Those are a must."

"Blueberry bacon? What the hell is that?" Justin eyed me over the rim of his sunglasses.

"It's bacon that's been cured in blueberry jam. It's the best stuff ever. I haven't had it in years."

"Selena, that sounds disgusting."

"It's really good. I'll make you some. When I first went to live with Charlie, that was all I would eat. He bought so many packages of it we couldn't fit anything in the fridge."

We reached the red BMW I took today, and Justin went to the driver's side door.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked.

"Driving. Give me the keys."

"I don't think so." I fished them out of my purse.

"Selena, you're not driving my car. Hand them over."

"Your car? As I recall, I got it for a birthday gift from you. I don't see why I can't drive."

"Because you're a bad driver."

I glared and pushed him out of my way. I quickly unlocked the door and got in.

"Selena, this isn't funny. Get out of the car." He slammed his fist on the roof.

"Stop being a jackass. I'm leaving with or without you in twenty seconds."

I got an odd sense of satisfaction as I watched Justin stomp to the other side of the car and sink into the seat next to me.

"See, it's not that bad." I backed out of the parking stop.

As I made my way out of the city, Justin didn't speak one word to me. He never liked it when I drive because he said I went too slow; although, at the same time, was too reckless. I don't understand how that was possible, but he swore I was both. He hated the fact that he had to sit in the passenger's seat.

"You know, Selena, I don't like that fact that you bullied me into this," Justin complained.

"You'll be fine."

"No, I won't be. I feel emasculated and I think we need to talk about this. You have to admit that you're a bad driver."

"I am not," I argued. "I happen to be an excellent driver."

"Please. If I didn't have the police in my pocket, you would have more speeding tickets that you'd know what to do with."

"My father is a cop. He taught me well."

"Selena, this has nothing to do with the fact that Charlie supposedly taught you how to drive. I've never seen the proof of it."

"I need examples of it then. Or we can just wait until Charlie gets here and he can tell you what a good driver I am."

Something in the rearview mirror caught my eye.

The sunlight shone off of the bright windshield of a tinted black Mercedes two cars behind. I had seen it when we were having lunch across the street, or when I pulled out of the parking garage. He was following us.

"Secondly, you rev the engine," Justin continued on his tirade. "You can't go from zero to sixty by just slamming your foot down. You'll blow the whole thing."

"Yeah."

"Selena, are you listening to me?"

"What?" I snapped my head towards him. "Of course. What were we talking about?"

"Just pay attention to the road. There's a sharp curve up here and you tend to take them quickly. You'll mess up the alignment of the wheels."

I saw the car try to get closer. He bypassed a truck on the two lane road and made himself even more obvious.

"Okay, Selena, time for some evasive driving," I said to myself.

"What was that?" Justin asked.

"Nothing." I stomped on the gas pedal and took off on the highway. The car jolted me back into the seat, and I kept my hands steady on the wheel so I didn't run off us the road.

"Selena, what the fuck!" Justin held onto the door. "We just talked about this."

"Justin, I think someone's following us."

"Who?" He spun around in the seat.

"That black Mercedes. He's been tailing us from the city. Do you know him?"

"No. What's the license plate? Selena, slow down."

"I'm not slowing down."

"Okay, take this next exit and park in the gas station. See if he follows."

I did as Justin said, slowing down enough to get off of the highway. I immediately made the first right and came across a decaying gas station. It was one of those places that you see on horror movies, but never actually thought existed. The walls were crumbled and the ancient pumps sat outside, just waiting to be used. The attendant inside perked up when I parked out front.

"Duck down." Justin pushed on my head until I was crunched in the seat. I couldn't see over the wheel anymore.

"What are you doing?" I asked, watching him pull out a gun from underneath the seat. It was a rather large semi-automatic weapon that would be able to fire off hundreds of bullets in a matter of seconds.

I looked to make sure there weren't any civilians around.

"Selena, I said stay down!"

"Sorry." I crouched lower. "Is he still there?"

"No, I haven't seen him. I think we're good." Justin sighed and put the gun down.

"Who was that?" I sat up.

"I'm not sure, but let me drive from now on."

"I can..."

"Don't argue with me right now. Just let me drive," he snapped, his nerves on edge. I knew better than to test him at this point. "I want you to get in the back and lay on the seat."

I climbed over the center console and stretched my body out in the back, staring up at the car roof. Justin quickly took over behind the wheel.

He eased out of the gas station slowly at first, looked, and then went back onto the highway. His pace was slow, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. The gun sat across his lap, just waiting to be used.

I didn't say a word, not wanting to break his concentration. I bit my lip, wanting so desperately to peek over and see what was going on, but I knew Justin would kill me if I did.

"It's okay, Selena. No one's following us," he informed me. "We're almost home."

"Who was that?"

"I got the license plate. I'll find out, don't worry."

Charlie arrived early the next week, on a Saturday morning, with Anna in tow. It was just the two of them since the kids were still in school. They were staying with a family friend for the next five days.

"Selena." Charlie actually lifted me up when he got out of the car, squeezing me tightly on the front steps.

"Hey, Dad," I gasped. "Too tight."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He set me back down. "It's just so good to see you."

"You too. How was the flight?"

"Very fancy." Charlie's face twisted in a grimace. "Your private jet is far too much for me, Selena."

I rolled my eyes. "We were just trying to make you comfortable."

"He went right to sleep. They were the most luxurious seats I have ever sat in." Anna came up to me with a fairly softer hug.

"I'm glad you guys could come."

"Where's Justin?" Anna asked.

"He's at work. He'll be here soon." It was kind of a half-lie. Justin was upstairs in his office, which was locked and sealed. He asked not to be disturbed because he was dealing with a lot of shit right now. The embezzlement scandal was still going on, and he found out who our mystery stalker was, though, he evading my questions when I asked.

"Where would you like the bags, Mrs. Selena?" William asked me, carrying the few things that they brought.

"The guest room on the second floor," I said.

"I can do that," Charlie protested.

William shifted, escaping him, and went into the house.

"Now look here, Selena," Charlie huffed. "I won't have people waiting on me at all hours of the day. I can do things for myself."

"Dad, you're on vacation. Let someone else do something for a change."

"I don't need it."

"We know, Charlie. You're young and fit." Anna patted his back.

"You're damned right I am," he agreed, puffing out his chest.

I was about to respond when I heard the loud paws of Bosco on the floor of the foyer. I spun around. "Stop!"

He halted in front of the door and sat on his ass.

I breathed a sigh of relief, "That's the new dog."

"Oh, the one you sent us pictures of?" Anna went up to pat his head. "He doesn't seem overly enthusiastic to me."

"That's after weeks of training. It's like having another baby." I shut the door when they came inside.

"Speaking of, where are my grandkids?" Charlie asked.

"Upstairs, supposedly taking a nap, but they I think they're excited to see you."

We went inside where Gioni was waiting and took their coats. Once again, Charlie didn't approve.

"Selena, you have servants," he pointed out.

"Their family, Dad."

"Yeah, right." He rolled his eyes.

"We're going to be having lunch outside so you guys can relax." I led them through the house.

"This place is beautiful." Anna admired the paintings on the wall and soft carpet under her feet. "Even bigger than the last house."

"Justin is something of a connoisseur in the real estate market," I said, pushing open the doors to the back patio. A nice table was already set up.

"Because they all keep getting blown up," Charlie replied.

"Dad, if you're going to do this the whole time you're here, you might as well have stayed in Forks."

"No, I'm just kidding." He sat down. "What are we eating?"

"I figured I'd make some of your favorites. Hamburgers and fries."

"I never get to eat like this at home." He clapped his hands together.

"Because the doctor said you need to be healthier." Anna sat as well. "I won't have you dying in five years."

It was funny to me how wives worry about their husbands. I said the same thing to Justin. Anna and I couldn't be more different from each other, yet we both loved our husbands in a way that made us seem maybe a little too overbearing.

Carmela brought out a frosted glass and poured a Rainer beer. Charlie's eyes grew as it filled, and he took it from her with his mouth open. She curtsied, and then left.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"The beer angel. We keep her on staff just for you," I laughed.

"Seriously, Selena. Where did you find Rainer in Chicago?"

"I have my ways. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable here."

"I haven't had one of these in six months, at least." He took a big gulp.

Anna muttered, but didn't say anything. She instead took a small bite of her burger.

Francis nudged my leg under the table. I picked him up and sat him on my lap, but kept his mouth away from the table.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Charlie asked me.

"I already did. It's just easier to eat when I'm feeding the babies. They're on my schedule now."

"I can't wait until they wake up from their nap," Anna cooed. "I just love them so much. Will we be seeing much of Esme and Carlisle while we're here? Us grandparents need to talk shop."

"They'll be around. Everyone's really busy right now, but they all carved out lots of time over the next few days."

Charlie was clearly uncomfortable with spending time with the Biebers. He knew what they did, and I was sure he hated to think that I was one of them. On the few occasions that he's visited, Charlie seemed to be okay with Carlisle, though. It was hard to see that man as anything other than suave and charming. It was only when he turned into the mighty patriarch did you need to worry. Much like his son.

"We should have come at a different time. I knew we should wait," Anna said ruefully.

"No, it's fine," I assured her.

"We're more than happy to have you here." Justin swooped into the conversation with ease and superiority, unbuttoning his jacket as he took a seat next to me.

"There you are." I leaned over, taking off his glasses and kissed him.

Pleasantries were exchanged and Charlie was on his best behavior. He tightly smiled without his normal jabs or under the breath moans.

"I'm glad you guys could come for the babies' christening," Justin said, taking a small bite of his lunch. He looked tired, but kept his energy up. He wasn't sleeping anymore and only ate when I asked him to.

I took his hand, under the table, squeezing it lovingly. He squeezed back, telling me not to worry. I hated seeing him this way.

"It should be interesting. I've never been to a baptism before," Charlie said, sipping his beer. "Renee and I didn't think it was all that important with Selena."

"Yet she's adamant on Roman and Sophia being dunked into a pool of supposed, 'holy water'." Justin rolled his eyes.

"Now you're just making fun of me." I hit his leg. "You know this is important to the family."

"I agree with you, Selena," Anna said.

"Well, that's the boring part of your vacation. If you're up for it, we can go see a little baseball today, Charlie." Justin leaned back in his chair.

"That sounds fantastic," my father replied, sparkly-eyed and excited.

"Maybe you should have a nap," Anna suggested.

"I'm fine." He waved her off.

"I've already called my brothers and we're all going. It is opening day, after all. We can't pass that up, can we?"

"Absolutely not. I could never get Selena to watch baseball with me," Charlie complained.

"I watched; I just didn't participate in the usual conversation that went along with it. "

"She never understood it."

"I tried." I shrugged. "It never interested me. I'd rather read."

Justin and Charlie both shook their heads at me.

Two hours later, the entire Bieber family was over to our house. They fawned over Charlie and Anna, welcoming them into their arms. It had been a while since my father and I were on good enough terms for him to visit me in Chicago. This was a nice change.

"Selena, the babies look so cute today." Alice bounced Sophia on her knee, dressed in her Chicago White Sox onesie. I didn't know where Justin got it from, but both the babies were dressed for a win. I was on the floor, quickly changing Roman's diaper. He was giggling and waving his arms around, happy about the many voices in the room.

I kissed his stomach before putting his clothes back on.

"They're getting so heavy." I lifted him up.

"How have his lungs been?" Anna asked, patting Roman's back.

"Okay, not great. He has to have his inhaler every day, and he has his coughing fits, but the doctor said it will get better as he grows older."

"I hope so. Poor baby." She took him from me.

Justin came into the living room in a nice fitting pair of jeans and a jersey of his own. Somehow he was over and underdressed at the same time. His hair was freshly wet from his recent shower, and his face clean shaven. He looked healthy for the first time in days.

"Hey." He pulled me towards him when I stood up.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just working really hard. It'll all be over soon."

"Ominous, as usual."

"You don't want to know what I have up my sleeves."

We had to take three cars to Cellular Field, and since it was opening day, as Justin had said, the place was packed. Of course, the Biebers got special treatment; exclusive parking spaces, bypassing of security, uncrowded driving lanes. Charlie was very impressed.

"That was the fastest I've ever been through a baseball parking lot," he said as we started to unload the cars.

"Only the best for the family," Carlisle said, seemingly proud that he could dazzle the ex-head of police from Forks, Washington.

We were seated in a box that had been under Carlisle's name since the early nineties. I remembered coming here when Justin and I first started dating. That seemed so long ago, and I was so in awe of everything, much like Charlie was now.

"Your father seems to be having fun." Justin whispered to me as we sat on a comfortable couch. He pointed towards my father, who had his face pressed against the glass window, gazing onto the field.

"You're just hoping he forgets how you stole me away, and then married me." I picked Roman up. Sophia was sleeping, so I left her alone in her carrier.

"I will neither confirm nor deny that."

I was about to say something, but Amun was suddenly bending his head forward, whispering in Justin's ear. I couldn't hear, but Justin's face hardened slightly.

"Bring him in," he said with a strict voice and stood up.

"Justin, what is it?"

"Nothing, just stay seated," he instructed.

No one, but Carlisle seemed to be one edge. They didn't seem to notice or hadn't been informed of oncoming danger. I held Roman closer to me, just in case.

James Denali hobbled into the box, leaning heavily on a cane. He looked upbeat and entered with a smile, but I wasn't convinced. He disgusted me just as much as he did the first time I met him, which was ironically, in this very stadium.

The tension in the room was felt by everyone now, including Charlie, who was glaring James up like a suspect. He had that keen sense of character judgment that could sniff out the rats in any room.

James and Justin talked quietly for a couple of minutes. Everyone continued to converse amongst themselves, but it was just a facade, so that we weren't caught snooping.

Alec came and sat next to me, taking Roman and pushing a gun into my newly freed hands.

"Am I going to need this?" I asked.

"Justin told me to give it to you just in case. He doesn't like you unprotected with James so close."

"I'm always protected."

"Just in case," he stressed. "I don't even know why he's here."

"He looks kind of happy. I've never seen that before."

"Don't believe it."

I nodded, already pondering what kind of nonsense James might be plotting in his head.

Once he and Justin were done talking, he came over to me. "Selena, it's very nice to see you again."

"You as well." I nodded, not making a move to shake his hand. "How's your sister?"

"Tanya? She's always fine."

I could see Justin pacing close, trying to keep his distance. I'm sure he wanted to take me from the room, but kept Charlie occupied.

"That's good."

"And I see the babies are growing up well. We were all so happy to know that you were pregnant."

I didn't know what to say, so just awkwardly smiled. It was really weird, only made more so by the fact that I didn't know how to react to him.

"Well, it was nice see you again." James moved on to the next shake Jasper's hand.

It was quite strange to fake nice with that man.

He left half an hour later, after making everything horribly awkward. Justin came to sit back down, a little less agitated and wound up.

"Are you okay?" I asked, handing him Sophia. He calmed down, cradling her small sleeping body.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

I bit my lip, trying to choose my words carefully. "You don't seem like that was planned."

"It wasn't. Jackass decided to just show up."

"You're going to do something, aren't you?"

The slight glint in his eye told me that Justin was up to no good. He didn't answer me.

"Please, don't do anything with Charlie around," I begged. "I don't want you to scare him."

"I promise, everything will be alright." He pulled me towards me and kissed the top of my head.

The game started after a rousing rendition of the National Anthem by a local celebrity. Charlie was happy to be so close to the action. I don't think he ever took the time of to actually go see a baseball game, at least not while I was living with him. He was content to watch on his big screen at home.

Justin wasn't happy. James and a couple of other people I didn't know where in the glassed booth next to us. We could see them, but no one turned their heads. It would just make things stranger. There was an air of tension in our room that wasn't going anywhere, no matter what we did. Emmett kept the jokes going, and Justin made sure we were all fed great food, but something was wrong.

"We need to talk about the party?" Alice plopped down on the sofa next to me during a small break between innings.

"What party?"

"The party after the babies' christening. It'll be at the house and all the family is invited, of course."

"Right, and I want to cook."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why you insist on having you hand in everything. You have help for a reason."

"I want to cook. I couldn't for the Christmas party, but this time, I have a few good recipes I want to try."

"Oh, my God!" Alice screeched.

"What? I don't think it's that outrageous that I can cook. I have been doing it all my life, you know."

"No, not that. Look over there." She pointed to where James and his friends were situated in their booth. There was some kind of disruption going on and even though we couldn't head anything, it was obvious that they were freaking out.

James was on the floor, gripping his throat, and his face was beet red. He was writhing around in pain and white foam began to pour from his mouth.

"What the hell is going on?" Carlisle went to the window to get a better look.

"I think he's in pain, "Esme gasped. "Should we do something?"

"Maybe he's dying," Rose said.

"Call a fucking ambulance." Jasper fumbled through his pockets for his phone.

"Leave him be," Justin commanded, his voice low with power.

The room fell silent and everyone slunk back into their seats, not daring to look at what might be happening next to us. Charlie didn't seem at all shocked. He just shook his head and turned back to the game. Anna seemed confused, but Esme took the brunt of her questions as best as she could.

Justin didn't say anything to me for the rest of the game. Maybe he was ashamed, maybe he was mad, but he probably didn't care. He couldn't be bothered to care what anyone thought of his devious actions, let alone me.

I knew all about his hit list. One by one, murderous men around the city were secretly disappearing. I was sure if anyone had the balls to ask him, Justin would tell you outright that he was behind it.

James was another one down, and while Justin was cool on the outside, I was sure there was a small sense of satisfaction behind his stoic face.

JUSTINS POV

"Freedom to love is the greatest triumph in this world."

Everything Twilight related belongs to Stephanie Meyer

I sat behind the wheel of my silver Aston Martin, smoking out of the window, tapping my foot on the floor. Dare I say it… I was nervous. Just a little.

I was parked across the street of a kind of shitty part of town, but that didn't matter to me. I just wanted to make sure it was isolated. There were an abandoned grocery store and a couple empty shops around, none of which would be missed very much.

I sat and waited.

My phone rang a couple of times and Selena's name flashed on the screen, but I didn't bother picking up. I didn't want to speak to her right now because I wasn't in a pleasant state. She was mad at me for pulling that stunt at the baseball game, but her anger had subsided over the past few days.

I smoked four cigarettes before a black car pulled into the grocery store parking lot across the street. I perked up a little when I saw Jacob Black get out and look around. He seemed calm and collected, not the least bit worried about what his future held. He trusted me too much. It would be his downfall.

I got out of the car and slammed the door shut before walking across the pavement.

"You better have a good reason for calling me out here at nine in the morning on a Saturday. I was sleeping." Black crossed his arms.

I shrugged.

"You look like shit," he demanded with an aggressive tone that I wasn't all too pleased about.

"So do you," I said, even though he really didn't. While I was wasting away, he was getting even more muscular and menacing.

"Is there a reason why I'm here? I haven't heard anything about you in a couple of months. They're lying low, leaving you alone."

"I'm not here to talk about business." I leaned against his car. "This is more of a personal conversation."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We never got to discuss what happened a couple of years ago and I felt like now would be as good a time as any."

"What are you talking about?"

"How you treated Selena and my family. I never got a chance to give you a fucking punch for it."

"That was just protocol, Justin. You know that. We had information and I was required to bring Selena in."

"No, you didn't. You wanted me and couldn't find anything so you decided to shit on the most important thing in my life. Admit it." I stood up a little straighter.

"We're not teenagers. I had a job to do. I can't help it if your feelings were hurt."

"You took her from me and then proceeded to drag her through the mud in front of everyone. Selena didn't deserve that."

"Then you should have given yourself up. This is just your fault as much as it is mine. Okay, yes, maybe I had some personal thing against you, but don't make me out to be the bad guy. You were a coward and you should have come out of hiding."

"I couldn't do that!" I slammed my fist against his car, and it made a loud bang.

"Then you really should be mad with yourself," he said smugly. "If you want to bring up all this old shit, then you need to come to the realization that I was just doing my job. You brought her into this life and now she can't leave."

"I love her and by some miracle, she loves me. She shouldn't have been thrown into some jail because of my mistakes. You took out your anger on her and just piled everything on at once."

"I'm not doing this today, Justin." He opened the car door to get in, but I closed it forcefully.

"You should have known that when you hurt her, you weren't going to get away with it."

"I'm not afraid of you, Justin. I never have been. It's a wonder that we've been able to work together these past few months, but if you push my buttons, I'll have you in court faster than you can blink."

"I look forward to it." I stepped even closer to him.

"Back away, Justin." He opened up his jacket, revealing a shiny new gun to try and intimidate me.

"You broke up my family and you're not going to get away with it."

"Get over it. That was years ago. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to suffer like I did," I admitted, my voice cold.

"Was it all that bad, anyway?" He threw his hands up in the air. "Look at you now. You have a gorgeous wife, your family back, kids. You have a happy ending, while the rest of us have to cover up your shit. I work my ass off to keep the Feds away from you."

"As it should be," I exclaimed. "I've dealt with the worst kinds of people in my life, but you are by far the most horrid human being on the face of the earth."

"You're so dramatic." He rolled his eyes.

"There's nothing worse than a corrupt cop who steps on people to get his way. You put my wife in danger and caused me too much strife over the past few years. It seems like any issues I have, the root always starts at your office."

"Fuck you, Justin."

"I've punished everyone I've seen as a threat except for you, but your time is up, Jacob Black."

"You're pathetic. Am I all you have to live for? Your revenge is starting to kill you and we can't change the past so just let it go."

I clenched my fists together and had to push down the aggressive thoughts that were seeping into my head. There were so many things I could do to torture this man. But I let go of the door and he stood there with beady black eyes.

"Your time is up," I repeated and turned to walk away. My shoes clicked on the street and by the time I reached my car, he still hadn't gotten in his.

I was back behind the wheel, smoking a cigarette, just watching him. Black finally sank into his car, and I heard the ignition start through the open window.

There was a gigantic explosion through the vehicle into the air, and a plume of orange fire shot into the clear sky. Almost immediately, smoke began to rise and seemed to go up forever. The car burned quickly and rested on its side, flaming violently.

I turned the key of the Aston Martin and made a calm turn onto the street to go home.

"There you are." Katy Nana had her hands on her hips as I came in through the garage door. "We've been waiting for over an hour. Everyone's almost ready to head to the church."

"I know. I had some business."

"It's always business," she muttered, pushing me out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I made my way through the house, trying to be quiet so that no one would stop to talk. Unfortunately, I didn't have such luck.

Charlie popped his head out of the guestroom as I passed. "Oh, I thought you were Selena." He was tying a dark blue tie around his neck.

"No, I think she's getting dressed in our room."

"Right." He nodded and went to close the door, but then stopped and sniffed the air. "Do you smell that?"

"No," I shrugged, sticking my hands into my pocket. This man was probably the only person on the face of the planet who could make me feel like a wrongdoing teen. Not even Carlisle had that power.

"It's like something's burning…." His mustache twitched.

"Cigarettes," I answered. "I had a few earlier."

I began to walk away before he could ask more questions.

"You know, I'm not stupid, Justin," he said. "I've been around many fires in my day and I know the difference between smoke from a cigarette and that of something a little stronger say… an explosion of some kind."

I stopped, but didn't dare turn around.

"Don't treat me like an idiot," he slammed the door shut.

I began striping out of my clothes down the hallway and was naked by the time I got to my room. Selena was stumbling into a pair of heels, her body draped in a beautiful dark blue dress.

"You're here," she cried. "Thank God. I thought you were going to be late."

"I told you I'd get here in time."

"We're supposed to be at the church in an hour, which means we need to leave soon."

"Let me just get a shower." I walked past her to the bathroom, but she caught my hand, pulling me back.

"I didn't get to see you this morning before you left."

"I didn't want to wake you." I placed my head on her shoulder, bending down quite a ways. I kissed her neck.

"You sound exhausted."

"I know, but I'm so relieved."

"Relieved?"

"You have no idea," I sighed. It was over. Well, the hard part was over. There was a lot more troubles to come, probably sooner than I hoped, but I would have to handle them later.

Selena lifted my head up. "What have you been doing, Mr. Bieber?"

I kissed her full lips tenderly. She tasted like some kind of fruit and made a soft noise when my mouth hit hers. Every time I came home, Selena reminded me why I loved her and how my life would be different if she wasn't here. Everything I did was for her and my family. They might hate me sometimes, but I was doing everything in my power to protect them.

"Selena, I want you know that I love you," I whispered. "I'm sorry for any pain you've had because of me, but I love you. I really do."

She seemed confused and smiled. "I know, Justin. You're an absolutely insane man, but I know you love me."

I nodded. As long as she knew that, I could face what was sure to be a rough future.

Half an hour later, our caravan of cars were making their way into the city. I was driving with Selena sitting next to me, Roman and Sophia in the back. They looked rather pious in their traditional christening stark white outfits, complete with puffy caps. Always the fashionista, Sophia was more than happy to wiggle against the silky fabric. She had a smile on her face that even made my icy heart warm. Roman was less than pleased, pouted and pulling at his clothes to be set free.

Selena took another picture, the flash illuminating the whole car.

"You're going to blind them," I warned her.

"They'll be fine." She reached behind her to fix Roman's hat, which had come askew for the hundredth time. Dark brown hair fell out of the sides and his green eyes were pleading with me to get him into something more comfortable.

"Sorry, buddy," I said regretfully. "You're stuck in that thing for at least another couple of hours."

The christening would be a small gathering at the church, but the reception afterwards was supposed to be an immense party. Not only was the entire family coming, but some business associates of mine, political figures, and many less than savory characters were as well. I was assured everyone would be on their best behavior.

Alec, as the proud godfather, was nervous about his future duties and requested that he give some sort of speech. I didn't think that was tradition at a baptism reception, but he demanded it. He had been working on putting something together for two weeks now. He refused to let me hear any of it.

We chose Rosalie as godmother to the children. No matter how much of a raging bitch that woman was, I couldn't think of anyone better to care for my babies than her if something should happen. Of course, Emmett had to agree to that as well, which he did.

Renee couldn't make it on account of Phil having minor emergency shoulder surgery. She wanted to stay home with him, but Charlie and Anna were still here, so Selena didn't mind. She seemed happy as ever just to have her family around. Before we left the house, Cici called, informing us that she wouldn't be able to make it due to her travel plans changing.

Esme thought that Cici might not want to be around us anymore after Nicola's death. It hurt her too much. Selena kept telling me that she knew the two were secretively in love. I would never have believed her, but the evidence was starting to stack up.

Selena kept the babies entertained on the drive, swinging colorful toys in front of their faces that they tried to catch with their small hands.

"It's amazing how much they've grown," I said.

"I know. They're so cute. The cutest things in the world."

I nodded in agreement.

Selena turned on the music system and some horrid children's song filled my ears. I immediately switched on something classical.

"I will not allow that nonsense in this car." I shook my head.

"Justin, they like your music too, but sometimes they just want their children's stuff." She put her hand on my arm to sooth me.

"I don't care."

"You're kind of grumpy today. Is everything all right?"

I sighed heavily, "It will be."

Selena nodded, but she wasn't convinced.

Our cars pulled up to the church, where Father O'Brien was waiting on the steps.

"They couldn't give us an Italian priest?" I said gruffly as I got out of the car and retrieved Roman from the backseat.

"I requested him," Selena replied, getting Sophia.

"Why? You know I hate that man."

"He's always been good to us. He seemed like the best fit. Be nice," she warned.

The entire Bieber clan, plus Charlie and Anna, walked towards the church. I kept Roman close to my chest, wrapped in his tiny white blanket. He was ready to fall asleep, but the excitement of the day was forcing him to stay awake.

"There they are. The babies of the hour," Father O'Brien stated proudly, his light Irish accent seeping through his speech. He was dressed in a long white robe and dark green sash with gold accents around the edges.

He held his hands out for Roman, but I backed up a little.

"Now, Justin, we must put the past behind us. I'm baptizing your children, for goodness sakes."

Selena intervened, "And we're so thankful that you were available."

"Of course. Anything for you." He hugged her.

"See, Justin, this isn't so bad." Emmett clapped me on the shoulder. "Baptisms are supposed to give babies strength and luck in the future."

"It's a silly ritual." I said under my breath, trying to unnecessarily shield Roman as much as possible from the church.

"We were all christened and we turned out fine," Jasper pointed out.

"Justin, your tie is a mess." Esme snatched my son from my hands and gave him to Carlisle. She pulled me down to her level by my collar and began fixing it. "You should know better than this."

"I was in a rush," I admitted shamefully.

"This is a very important day. You need to be on your best behavior."

"Why is everyone telling me that? I'm a grown man. I know how to act in public."

"Is Selena keeping you in line?" She grinned. "Bless that girl for putting up with you."

Everyone began filing into the church, and I took Roman back from Carlisle. It was fairly empty inside except for a small group of choir boys that stood behind the pulpit with smiles on their faces. I'm sure they could care less about being in church on a Saturday afternoon, and I didn't blame them.

Soft candles were lit around the sanctuary, and there was a sweet aroma of vanilla in the air. A holy water font stood at the pulpit, and I literally shuddered at the sight of it.

"Maybe I am the devil," I joked to myself.

"You all can sit in the front pews," Father O'Brien instructed us. "Do we have everyone here?"

"Yes," I said, making a show of checking my watch.

Selena grabbed my hand and whispered to me, "Please stop being so agitated. I don't know why this bothers you, but it's important to me. So please..."

She looked at me with that face. It wasn't angry or mean or scolding. It was pleading, almost hurtful. I was literally about to crumble.

"All right." I nodded.

Charlie chuckled softly from his seat behind us.

The service began as Father O'Brien said a few words about innocence and how this was a sacred day that should be taken seriously. As much as I wanted to huff and roll my eyes, I refrained. As Selena said, this was important to her, so it in turn became semi-important to me. She told me that she never had a religion to guide her growing up. Our children were bound to have difficult lives ahead of them, so Selena thought that anything we could provide in protection was valuable, including religion.

After Father's words, the boys' choir sang a couple of Latin hymns. Jasper hummed along, being a choir boy himself back in the day.

"I now call the parents to bring the babies forward to be presented for baptism. The Godparents are also invited to join."

Selena and I carried Roman and Sophia up to the front steps of the pulpit. They were both wide awake and had been fairly good throughout the service, although, I wasn't sure how much longer that was going to last. Sophia was already getting a little testy. Rose and Alec followed us.

"All right, so ladies first," Father O'Brien whispered and smiled at Selena, who was holding Sophia.

He cleared his throat, "Justin and IsaSelena Bieber are today presenting their daughter for Christian baptism. Christian baptism signifies for this young child God's gracious acceptance on the basis of prevenient grace. It is an acknowledgement of God's grace at work in the life of this child within the care of her mother and father and extended family, and under the nurture of this community of Faith."

He then spoke to us directly, "Justin and IsaSelena, do you desire for your daughter Sophia to be baptized."

"We do," we responded. Selena seemed relieved that I actually replied. I felt like I was getting married again.

Father O'Brien continued. "To this end it is your duty to teach Sophia, as soon as she is able to learn, the nature of this holy sacrament; to watch over her education, that she may not be led astray; to direct her feet to the sanctuary; to restrain her from evil associates and habits, and as much as in you lies, to bring her up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

"We will," we replied, yet again.

He then turned to Alec and Rosalie. "Godparents fill as special role in the life of a child. Do you, as the godparents of this child, promise to share responsibility with Justin and IsaSelena for this precious child, to pray for her, and to help her take her place within this world?"

Alec and Rosalie responded with a, "We will," of their own.

Father O'Brien spoke to me, "Justin, what name have you given your child?"

"Sophia Verena Bieber," I answered.

My baby girl...

He took Sophia from Selena. "Sophia Verena Bieber, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

Father took a small challis and dipped in the pool of water in front of us, pouring drops of water on Sophia's forehead. She squirmed in his hands, and I wanted to snatch her away from him, but kept myself under control.

We repeated the same thing with our son, giving him the name Roman Telemachus Bieber. He was far more aggressive than his sister and didn't sit still for anything. He didn't like Father's strange hands and cried softly as he was being baptized. He quieted down as soon as Selena took him.

We did a final prayer and then it was over.

"That wasn't that bad, was it?" Selena kissed my cheek. "You made it without bursting into flames or disintegrating into a pile of ash."

"Imagine that," I chuckled.

Charlie, being on the warmer side than usual, shook my hand and gave me a few words of congratulations. Alec wouldn't relinquish hold of Roman and was smiling so big that I thought his face would burst. Jane was trying to take the baby from him, but he wouldn't allow it. Sophia was being passed around from my mother, to Anna, to Alice.

As I looked around, I wondered just how much longer this peaceful picture could last.

As I was packing up the babies' diaper bags for the trip home, I heard the wailing sirens of police cars in the distance. No one else seemed to hear them. The sounds quieted and I hoped that maybe the cars had passed by, but I knew better.

"Are you ready to go?" Selena threaded her fingers through mine, shocking me back to reality.

"Yes." I nodded.

The family began walking towards the large church doors. I took my steps slowly and deliberately. I was thinking about what I should say to Selena. I didn't have enough time to actually make some kind of speech, but I had to say something.

"I love you." I pulled her closer to my body, whispering into her hair. I kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She rested her hand on my chest as we walked.

Carlisle was the first to the door. I think he knew, but he cracked it open before shutting it quickly. His hand rested against the wood and bowed his head.

"Carlisle, hurry, we need to get back to the house for the reception," Esme said, holding Sophia close to her.

"I don't think we're going to have time for a reception today," he replied.

"Like hell we don't!" Alice protested. "I've been planning this thing for two months."

Carlisle turned to us and kept his back to the door. "I think everyone should find another exit."

Everyone seemed to have various forms of anger towards him for not letting them through. Except Selena. Her breath hitched and she clutched at the fabric of my shirt, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I repeated.

"Don't leave," she whispered.

"I have to."

"We can go back to Brazil... We can run away."

"I can't run anymore. My time is up."

"Justin, no." She pushed me against the far wall, into a dark corner. "You're not going out there. I won't let you."

I kissed the tears away from her cheeks. "Selena, you're strong. We're strong. We will get through whatever happens. I promise you."

"I can't..." She shook her head, hugging me close.

"It's going to be okay."

"When will I be able to see you again?"

"Jenks is going to do everything in his power to get me out. I pay him enough." I laughed quietly.

"I won't let them take you away," she vowed.

I actually said a silent prayer that she wouldn't be too angry with me because of all this shit. I had put her through so much, but she was always there. Would this be the last straw? I hoped not.

"Carlisle what is going on?" Emmett demanded.

"Everything's going to be fine." I stepped out of the shadows, pulling Selena with me.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked her.

I tried to pry my hands from Selena's, but she wouldn't let me go. I had to literally pick up one finger at a time and fight all of her strength.

I kissed Roman and Sophia on their heads. They were both sleeping now. I whispered how much they meant to me and didn't realize that this was going to be so hard. It was the closest I had ever come to crying in my life.

I think it was obvious to everyone now what was going on. Or what might happen within the next couple of minutes.

I turned away from them all and went towards the doors. Carlisle sadly smiled and hugged me. I didn't react at first, but placed my arms around him after a long second.

I didn't look at my family as I opened the door. Maybe it was shame or just embarrassment, but I didn't want them to see my face.

The entire street outside of the church was lined with police cars on both sides. There must have been fifty of them, their red and blue lights flashing aggressively. Officers stood on the sidewalks and pointed guns from the roofs across the street.

It was very overdramatic and unnecessary, if you ask me.

Embry fucking Call spoke deeply into a loudspeaker. "Justin Bieber, drop your weapons."

"I don't have any," I called back, stepping out from the church further. I raised my hands up and flashed my hands to show him.

"Take off your jacket slowly," he instructed.

I did as he said and placed my jacket on the ground.

A group of officers stormed up the stairs and placed me roughly against the stoned wall of church. I grunted in pain as they slammed my face into the brick and patted me down.

"Justin Bieber, you are under arrest for the murder of Jacob Black..."

I couldn't really hear what was happening, but I knew people were yelling. Probably Selena. Possibly Carlisle. Maybe Esme. I didn't want to know.

The officers led me down the stairs and towards the police cars. I was roughly shoved in. The diamond-shaped grid on the window prevented me from seeing clearly.

I frantically tried to find Selena in the mass of police officers and cars and commotion. Maybe it was best that I didn't see her. I would surely have broken down.

Embry sat up front as the car began to drive away. "I'm sorry we have to do this. But you have fucked us over one too many times."

I didn't respond.

"Well, Justin… I guess this is the end for you."

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