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talkfastromance4 · 4 years ago

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Beauty behind the Madness--Ashton Irwin (mafia!au)

**copyright listed below

A/N: It’s finally here! This idea was born so many months ago but I never did anything with it until I watched the movie 365 and ideas started to flow. I’ve worked on this for nearly two months, and I’ve never spent so much time on something as big as this before,so thank you for your patience! I would like to give enormous ‘thank you’s to @sexgodashton and @sadistmichael for beta reading, editing and giving feedback and other insights when I was stuck (which was many times), to @spicycal @karajaynetoday and @cheekysos for also beta reading and letting me scream at you about this process. I’m so so grateful for each and every one of you!❤💖 Also, this fic is inspired by The Weeknd’s ‘Beauty behind the Madness’ album and I listened to it a lot while writing. (Drown by Tyler Carter is Ashton and Nadia’s song in my head as well)

Word count: 27.1k

Warnings: mentions of violence involving guns, mentions of blood, casual drinking, swearing, sexual occurrences (female receiving oral, fingering, male receiving oral, consensual sex, slight dom!ashton). Please read with caution

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• • • •

Ashton sets his drink on the lacquered maple countertop inside La Belle Vie, the ice clinks together in a satisfying finish. He checks the time on his gold embroidered black Rolex; he’s just in time to finish the dirty work his cohort set up. He slips past the bar, half ignoring the woman sitting at the end who stares him down like a hawk and descends the concrete steps to the interrogation room.

He faintly hears a fist connecting to flesh, grunts echo along the walls and his designer boots smacking articulately on the floor. One of his guards opens the door with a grandiose gesture as he undoes his cufflinks. As soon as he enters the room, another associate removes his suit jacket. It’s a rehearsed dance with the next step being Ashton rolling his sleeves up.

In view is his right-hand associate, Calum Hood, dressed down to his black tank top tucked into his Armani trousers. His face is contorted in concentration as he delivers another bloody punch to the man’s face who is tied to a chair. His face is a bloody mess, his shirt torn.

“We got what we needed?” Ashton asks coolly pulling his glock from the holster resting against his left side.

“Yeah,” Calum huffs, shaking his hand and flexing his fingers. “He said something about Nadia, though.”

Ashton’s hazel eyes flash in anger, he clicks the safety off his gun, and the man groans before him.

“What did you say?” Ashton demands as he shifts places with Calum who is handed a towel from Luke. The man mutters something under his breath. “Speak up, it’s hard to hear you through your own blood.”

“What does it matter? You’re going to kill me anyway, no?”

Ashton presses the end of the gun to his cheek, pressing hard so it turns his head back. The man’s green eyes are vibrant against his blood, and Ashton can see the fear in them.

“Tell. Me,” Ashton says fiercely.

“You better keep your bitch on a leash, or the Snatchers will catch her,” the man cackles manically.

Ashton snaps his wrist swiftly and pulls the trigger, right in the center of the man’s forehead. His body jerks and slumps in the chair, the sound of the gunfire echoing in the small room. He glances at Calum, his jaw working in anger at the man’s last words.

“Clean up down here, gentleman, then join me for a drink,” Ashton says, slipping his glock back in the holster. After a kill, his body is always electric and warm, so he holds his arm out to the associate who removed his jacket and they drape it over his forearm.

Calum follows quickly behind him, pulling his dress shirt on as he ascends the stairs. Paco, the bartender, already has his glass refilled along with a new drink for Calum. The woman at the end of the bar reaches for Ashton, her fingers greedy and her eyes crazed.

“You seem tense, can I help?” she asks, batting her fake lashes.

“Sorry doll, he’s a taken man,” Calum intercedes by pushing her hands away. She pouts as the two men walk away.

“Thanks, she had her eyes on me the whole time I was here,” Ashton says pressing his lips to his glass. The amber liquid is refreshingly cold as it slides down his throat.

“I’ve seen her here before, not really sure who she is but she should know who Nadia is.”

The two gentlemen take a seat at their table near the back, far away from everyone else and in perfect sight of the door. The music is loud enough to enjoy as the girls dancing on stage move hypnotically to the beat. Other associates and frequent club members sit in the leather chairs with cigars and drinks in hand as they observe the women.

“That almost worries me, Cal,” Ashton sighs resting his foot on his opposite knee. “I don’t want anyone knowing of Nadia and it seems like everyone does. That puts her in danger.”

“She’s well-guarded at all times, you know that. The bastard was just talking shit to get a last rise from you,” Calum says then smacks his lips after taking a drink.

“What did he say to you?” Ashton watches Calum carefully, his dark brows crease. “Calum, what did he say?”

“He said the Rozhkov’s and the Snatchers love the way she dances.” He glances nervously at his friend, his boss.

Ashton checks his watch again. Nadia should be arriving at the club soon with Vinny; he sent her on a full spa day. She’s been working hard and one of Ashton’s main goals is to make sure she’s well taken care of.

“He was talking shit,” Calum repeats, “No one would dare go after her.”

“How did—” Ashton stops short because the doors open and his eyes meet Nadia’s.

His whole world shifts, all that he’s done, all that he will do, vanishes. Nadia is the light of his life and she shines as she walks her way over to him. Her dark hair falls in perfect waves down her chest, the silver necklace he bought her hangs perfectly between her cleavage. She’s a vision as he rises from his seat, as does Calum, to greet her. It’s respectful to stand whenever a boss’ significant other enters the room, they’re like royalty.

Ashton extends his hand, gaudy rings shining in the lowlight and Nadia’s hand slips inside his.

“Hi angel,” he says softly, giving her a squeeze.

“Hi, honey,” she smiles walking into his arms. She pecks his lips delicately, a feather light touch. “Hi Cal,” she smiles and leans over to kiss his cheek.

“Come sit with me,” Ashton pulls her with him as he sits back in his armchair. She finds her place in his lap comfortably, one arm behind his shoulders. She crosses her tan legs that show beautifully beneath her gold dress. Ashton’s arms hold her close, his fingers locked together on her hip. “How was the spa?”

“Wonderful,” she smiles, rubbing her nose against his. “You didn’t have to do it, you know.”

“I wanted to; you had a rough week.”

“It’s only Tuesday,” she giggles.

“Yeah, and you came home last night all in a tizzy, climbing into my lap in my office—”

Nadia covers his mouth with her hand, silencing him. “Shush!” Her warm brown eyes glide to Calum.

He smiles behind her hand, pulling it away from his mouth to kiss her fingertips.

“I’ve heard way worse, sweetheart, trust me,” Calum chuckles taking a drink. “Can I get you something?”

“Amaretto sour,” Ashton answers for her and she smiles. “Three cherries.”

“Comin’ right up,” Calum winks then moves to the bar.

Ashton sighs, trailing his fingers over her back, staring into her warm brown eyes.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” she smiles adjusting one of his chains. Her blood red, almond-shaped nails rub through his chest hair, she follows the trail to his top button of his shirt. She unbuttons it delicately. “There, now you can breathe.”

“One amaretto sour,” Calum says, handing the glass over to Nadia. She takes it with glee, slurping up the drink happily. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Asana in the Gold Room.”

Ashton and Nadia look behind Calum to see Asana waiting by the deep maroon curtains that lead to another set of stairs. Her dark hair is in a high ponytail atop her head, the gold eyeliner and gold lipstick contrast beautifully with her dark skin. It made her appear regal and Nadia was always stunned by her beauty.

The Gold Room is a special room where members of Ashton’s association go to…unwind. Men and women of the association meet there frequently when there’s downtime, like tonight, or after a successful mission. Asana is the head of weaponry; Ashton always gets the best from her and he trusts her with his life.

“See you two later,” Calum winks starting to walk backwards, his eyes on Nadia, “make sure he gets some rest.”

Ashton and Nadia watch Calum approach Asana who gives him a sly smirk as he takes her hand kissing it. As they disappear behind the curtain, the song changes and a cloud of cigar smoke creeps up on Nadia and Ashton. She scrunches her nose at the smell, Ashton kisses it.

“We can take our drinks to my office, angel,” he tells her, knowing she doesn’t like the cigar smoke. It always gives her a headache.

“Aren’t Luke and Michael going to join us, soon?” she asks while plucking one of the cherries from her glass.

Ashton’s momentarily mesmerized by the way her lips pucker around the bright red fruit before it disappears in her mouth. She tosses the stem onto the small table beside his chair then swipes her thumb on her chin collecting the cherry juice and licking it off.

“I think they’ll understand. Come on,” he pats the side of her bare thigh, so she stands.

Their fingers link together as he leads her past the bar to a secret door on the left. Once inside, Nadia clutches onto Ashton’s hand a little tighter, she says the space creeps her out because of the minimal lighting and dark walls. He’ll never tire of her feeling safe with him, that’s all he wants is her love and trust to protect her.

They reach the silver elevator doors; he pushes the button with one of his rings and the doors part open. Her heels scrape against the floor as he pulls her against his chest, her giggles echo the small space, their reflection apparent on every wall.

“Is this that new dress you bought a few weeks ago?” he asks tenderly, eyes roaming over the glittery gold fabric hugging her body perfectly.

“It’s the new dress you bought,” she pokes his nose. “You’ve got to stop spoiling me or people are going to get the wrong idea, honey.”

“What wrong idea is that?”

The doors slide open as they land on the second level, only certain clientele is allowed up here. Nadia is always at the top of the list. Nadia tugs his hand leading him out of the elevator right into his office. The first time she was brought into his office, it made her feel apprehensive, but it was also the first night they met, and it was under dangerous circumstances.

***

The rain is falling harshly on the hood of Ashton’s red Aston Martin Superleggera. He's cloaked in the dark of the night as he sits and waits for members of the Rozhkov family to arrive at the abandoned building he’s parked next to. Aleks Rozhkov has scheduled his associates for a pickup of money and parts. Parts that have intrigued Ashton so greatly that he wants to find out exactly what they are.

He’s been here for hours, waiting, watching.

Calum insisted on going with him for added protection, but Ashton declined. He knows the target on his back is large, but his element of surprise is his calling card and this ambush would give him the answers he needs. He sighs glancing at the clock on his dashboard, his thumb rubbing over the silver-winged design on his steering wheel. He always liked how the emblem of his car matched the condor tattoo on his neck, a dangerous pair with the desire to fly.

There’s movement to his left, and he sits up a little straighter then sighs when he sees it’s a civilian. She’s walking through the rain with an umbrella clutched tightly in her fingers, and Ashton notices she keeps looking behind her. Then she stops and three men suddenly surround her; the three men Ashton has been waiting all night for.

When one of them tosses her umbrella to the ground, Ashton springs from his car, running over. He pulls on the arm of the man closest to him before turning him around connecting his fist with his jaw. The other two spring into action, but Ashton is quick with his punches and elbow thrusts. In minutes all three men are down in the rain-filled alley, the woman breathing heavily against the brick building.

Ashton crouches to one of the men who’s grunting in pain and staring at Ashton through a swelling eye. “You tell Aleks, Ashton Irwin doesn’t appreciate him doing his dirty work in my city,” his voice is calm, but the warning tone is loud, “and that cornering a woman is warranted in death. Got that?”

The man groans nodding his head. Ashton stands, his eyes softening as he stares at the woman before him. He can barely see her through the falling rain and the dimmed streetlight, but he can tell she’s frightened, as if he can sense it.

“Are you all right? Did they hurt you?” he asks gently, stepping closer to her. She shakes her head in response. A car backfires and she lets out a scream. Ashton responds by grabbing her hand, “I have somewhere safe I can take you,” pulling her to his car and helping her inside. He cranks the heat as the engine purrs quietly to life, zooming to the main road and to La Belle Vie.

She’s visibly shaking while he drives to his club. He wants to comfort her in some way but is unsure how to. He’s pleasantly surprised she got into his car so willingly, but maybe his coming to her rescue appeased her.

He parks smoothly in his spot outside of La Belle Vie, he can hear her teeth chattering.

“Come inside, it’s warm and I can get you a drink,” he tells her before getting out.

He keeps a safe distance behind her, nodding to one of the guards at the entrance. They open the door just as thunder rumbles in the distance. Ashton and the woman are met with more dimmed lighting, and soulful, tantalizing music dances in their ears while the dancers on stage move hypnotically.

The woman halts as she takes in her surroundings and Ashton bumps into her back.

“Keep moving to the end of the bar, my office is in the back,” he murmurs pushing her forward gently. Ashton eyes their surroundings, the only people taking notice of him are Paco and Luke sitting at the bar. He shakes his head as if to say, ‘don’t ask, don’t stop me,’ and continues his way to the secret door.

He pushes on the wall; the door opens to reveal a dimly lit hallway with cement floors and dark walls. He feels her cower against him once more.

“You need to get brighter lightbulbs,” she mutters, shoulders rattling as she shivers again.

Ashton smiles at her comment but wants to get her warmed up as fast as he can. He leads her to the elevator, pushes the button and the doors open quickly. The elevator ride is short as it ascends to his office, he ushers her inside where he makes sure to turn all the lights on.

“Please, have a seat,” he motions to the plush black couch in front of the fireplace.

He turns it on with the switch beside the mantle, discarding his leather jacket placing it on the back of an armchair. He moves across the room to a closet that has blankets for when he sometimes spends the night here, and there’s a bedroom next to the fireplace. You can see a part of it through the flames if you look close enough. He doesn’t dare let his mind drift to the countless women he’s brought back to that room, suddenly he feels ashamed about those encounters.

He drapes the thick, soft blanket over her shoulders, she jumps from the contact, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you.’ Ashton moves to his desk picking up his phone that immediately rings the bar.

“Sir?” Paco answers.

“Send up some towels, dry clothes and two hot chocolates, please,” Ashton requests then clicks the phone back in its cradle. He sits across from her in the armchair that doesn’t have his coat on it, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asks again. Now that they’re in brighter light, he sees how beautiful she is. Her dark hair hangs in wet strands framing her perfectly round face, her eyes are large and round and the prettiest brown he’s ever seen. Although she’s shivering, everything about her, from her tanned skin to those eyes screams warmth. A warmth Ashton hasn’t felt in a long time.

“Fine,” she responds quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around her body. She sniffs.

“I’m having towels and clean clothes brought up, along with some hot chocolate,” he offers, his fingers twisting one of his rings. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Why did you hurt those men?” she asks the same time he does.

“They were going to hurt you,” he says simply. He notices her eyes are watching the movement of his ring, he glances down noticing the dried blood on his knuckles that clearly has her attention. He frowns slightly. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t think twice about the blood, but he doesn’t want this woman to fear him due to this act.

“Why were you there? Who’s Aleks Rosco—”

“Rozhkov,” Ashton corrects. He inhales deeply then leans back into the chair making sure to skirt around the truth. “He’s…a businessman that I’ve been wanting to meet with. We have things to discuss.”

“You—”

Three sharp raps to the door cause Ashton to stand and open the door. Luke’s there with the essentials Ashton requested, the towels and clothes in a bag, two hot chocolates in a carrying tray and a question in his baby blue eyes.

“Is she one of Rozhkov’s—”

“Thanks Luke,” Ashton replies shortly, taking the bag and carrying tray. He shuts the door in the younger man’s face then brings the goods to the beautiful mystery woman on his couch. He places the bag in front of her legs which he’s just noticed are bare beneath her coat. He swallows harshly. “Towels and dry clothes are in here, there’s a shower just through that door you can use to warm up.”

Hesitantly, she lifts the bag, crooking it between her elbow and stands. Ashton moves to the door opening it, smacking the light switch on the wall. It illuminates the room showcasing the large California king bed with high posts and a thick black comforter. Again, he pushes memories of the numerous sexual partners he’s pleasured here, as if his dirty thoughts would offend this beautiful woman. He doesn’t want to offend her in any way, though he fears he already has.

She’s been visibly shaken since the alleyway and won’t look him in the eye choosing instead to keep focus of the blood on his hands. Is she fearful of what she’ll see in his eyes? Madness? A monster?

Her small sniffle pulls him from his thoughts.

“Use anything you’d like in the bathroom. I’ll be out here if you need me,” he offers a half a smile then turns to give her some privacy. Then he hears her mumble something and quickly turns around. “What?”

“Nadia,” she says again, her brown eyes finally meeting his, “My name’s Nadia.”

***

She walks around his large desk, twisting her arm so she can push him gently into his specially made chair. It’s a black, wing back chair with gold accented buttons and the letters ‘A’ and ‘I’ stitched in gold on the front of the arms.

“What wrong idea?” he asks again, placing his drink on the coaster on his desk. It also has his initials on it.

Nadia shakes her head hopping onto the surface of the desk, her dress slides up her thighs. She takes a long sip of her drink as Ashton rests his palms on her knees, his thumbs rub onto her skin.

“Nadia,” he says her name sternly. He knows she knows that tone of voice, and she looks at him expectantly. “What will people think?” he softens his tone.

“That I’m nothing but a ‘sugar baby,’” she pouts, her fingers create the imaginary quotations.

Ashton sighs. Being in his line of business, doing what he does, he knows that’s what he’s perceived as, but he always waved it off without a care. He didn’t like, however, that Nadia has been labeled as a sugar baby.

“You know that’s not true,” he stands from his chair, towering over her. He removes her drink from her hand, placing it on another coaster then rests his hands on the wood. He stares at her until she meets his gaze. “You know how much I love and care about you.”

“I do,” she nods earnestly. “But I still hear the whispers.”

“Is it from people within my circle? Tell me their names and I’ll deal with them—”

“No, no, it’s no one associated with you. It’s…others. In the streets, in the shops we go to.”

“Don’t listen to them, and if I hear it—” he leans forward pressing his lips to her cheek “—they’ll have me to answer to.” His voice tickles her ear and she giggles from the vibrations.

“Why did Cal say you need rest?” she asks.

“Long day,” he shrugs. He relaxes when Nadia places her thumbs under his eyes, he can only imagine the dark circles beneath them.

“What did you do?” she moves her fingers to his hair, massaging through the dark locks onto his scalp.

“Angel,” he says in a warning tone, “what’s my number one rule?”

“Don’t ask specifics about your job,” she sighs, fingers still massaging.

“And why is that?” he sighs. His hand pushes her legs apart, his fingers run up the smooth skin of her thigh. She spreads her legs wider, welcoming his hand higher.

“To protect me,” she whispers and moans slightly when his fingers skim over her bare, wet folds. He tuts his tongue.

“No panties, hm? Why’s that?” he asks, teasing her slit. “You want to stain my desk?”

“N-no! Just didn’t feel like it…I thought you’d like it,” she sighs against his neck, her breath hot, and fingers still locked in his hair.

“You know I love it, angel.” He teases her hole with his middle finger causing her to squeak in response. He smiles, kissing her shoulder then inserts his finger slowly. Her own fingers tighten in his hair, her breathing becomes ragged. “Should I make you come right here for me? Right on my desk where I do my work?”

Nadia rolls her hips with the motion of his finger inside her, spreading her open and rubbing against her walls.

“Please,” she begs breathlessly.

He inserts another finger and Nadia whines in his ear, his thumb rubbing harshly against her clit. He loves hearing her moan for him. He works his fingers faster until her body clenches and she’s left gasping loudly in his ear.

“That’s my girl,” he praises twiddling his fingers inside her as her orgasm subsides. He removes his fingers gently pulling back to give her a smile while he sucks her off his fingers. Her eyes are glazed, her cheeks a bit rosy. “What do you say?”

“Thank you,” she sighs. She drags her fingers back to his cheeks and pulls his mouth to hers, moaning into his mouth. Her fingers are quick to undo his shit buttons, palms pressing to his torso, nails dragging along his skin.

“You want another one?” he smirks against her mouth, her hands tugging his silk shirt from his trousers.

“Like you said,” her voice is sultry in his ear as she unbuttons his pants, “I’ve had a rough week.”

When Nadia’s fingers pinch the zipper, there’s a very loud urgent knock on the door. She lets out a sigh, visibly upset as Ashton snaps his pants back into place and rebuttons his shirt. He grins at her petulance, taking her chin in his fingers to give her a delicate kiss.

“I’ll be right back, angel.”

He checks his shirt as he struts across his office, hoping that whoever is behind that door is in a life or death situation. Everyone at La Belle Vie knows that if he has Nadia in his office, he is not to be disturbed. A rule that’s been established since that first night he brought her here. They’re being interrupted now just as much as they were then.

***

Ashton made sure to remove his rings from his fingers, placing them in a black porcelain bowl in the other bathroom used for guests; he’ll have them professionally cleaned in the morning. He feels empty without them. The added weight always made him feel secure somehow. One ring, a gaudy one with an onyx stone was always perched on his left pinky finger. Another one, specially made, sat on his right middle finger that always left his initials on the perpetrator’s skin, a flameless branding.

He sighs, turning on the tap and scrubbing extra hard, so the blood is completely gone. He’s never been this meticulous after a fight, or a kill for that matter. He’s become immune to the cold killings he does, usually saving the clean up when he’s back at his house in his large waterfall-style shower. He turns the water to the hottest temperature and yet, he still feels numb.

When the blood is gone, he watches his reflection as he dries his hands. Dark circles are under his eyes while the whites of his eyes are bloodshot. No wonder Nadia wouldn’t look at him, he looks every bit the monster behind such monstrous acts.

The door to the bedroom swings open, Ashton quickly tossing the towel into the sink and approaching Nadia as she exits the doorway. The t-shirt and sweatpants she’s changed into hang off her small frame, but she looks warmer. Her cheeks are rosy from the heat of the shower, she’s still hesitant as she glances at him.

“Find everything okay?” he asks politely.

“Yes, thank you,” she’s even more polite in her response.

To his surprise, Nadia moves to sit back on the couch and picks up one of the hot chocolates, bringing it to her lips. Ashton moves carefully around the couch and takes his spot from before in the armchair. She hums appreciatively at the warm drink, brown eyes flickering to his.

They stare at each other for a moment. Ashton is trying to decipher what she could possibly be thinking. He usually had a knack for that in women, but all he’s getting from her are unasked questions. Ashton has never been vulnerable with any of the women he’s had relations with, making sure his hard exterior remains impenetrable.

“You shouldn’t walk near that building that late at night. It’s dangerous,” he tells her, fixing his slight moment in weakness.

“I live a block away from there, and I haven’t had trouble until tonight,” her voice is stronger now. Ashton wonders if she’s got more courage from her warm shower or if there’s alcohol in her hot chocolate.

Testing his theory, Ashton picks up the other cup and takes a drink. All he tastes is milk chocolate with a hint of cinnamon, no alcohol detected. What changed?

“Why were you walking alone so late?” he asks. His interrogation voice rises to the surface, and he sees her fingers tighten on the cup.

“I teach ballet on Fifth and I stayed later,” she sniffs, her long nail traces the rim of the cover. “It started raining so I continued dancing hoping it would end, but it didn’t, and I had to get home.” Her eyes raise to his. “Why were you parked in that alley?”

“What age range do you teach?” he dodges her question. Luke’s unfinished question if she’s one of Rozhkov’s associates hangs in the back of his head. Nadia is a Russian name, after all, so she very well could be. “What’s your last name?”

“Why aren’t you answering my questions?” she deflects, eyes narrowing.

“Why aren’t you answering mine?” Ashton leans forward, eyebrows raised.

Nadia sighs, keeping her gaze steady on his. “I teach from the ages of four to ten, and my last name is Sharapova.”

Ashton’s jaw clenches, he needs to be on high alert because she could very well be working with Aleks Rozhkov. But his instinct is telling him she’s not associated at all, that she was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her newfound confidence is questionable though. Ashton needs to do some more probing.

“Can you answer my questions now?” she asks, her tone is a bit softer, and it throws Ashton for a loop again.

“You only asked me one,” he points out, forcing himself not to smirk. “And I already answered it, I had to speak with them about business.”

“What kind of business? Are you a club owner? Is this Aleks guy a competitor of yours?” she’s rapid fire now, and Ashton thinks the hot shower and dry clothes has brought this out of her.

The innocence is still shining in her eyes, but Ashton is smart enough to not share his true business with someone. No matter how beautiful they are.

“I do own the club downstairs, and Aleks Rozhkov is…a competitor of some sorts, yes,” he nods.

“You only answered two of my questions,” she murmurs behind her cup before taking another drink.

“I can’t answer the first one. It’s better you don’t know what I do. Do you only teach ballet or dance in a troupe?” he asks. The surprised flick of her eyebrows tells him she’s impressed by his terminology, he hides his smirk behind his cup.

“I’m in a troupe,” she nods, “um, I dance with the Chamber City Company.”

“How long have you been with them?”

“Four years. Why can’t I know what you do?”

Ashton lets out air from his nose, she’s not letting this go.

“It’s dangerous for you and I don’t want to put you in any more danger like you were in earlier.”

Nadia sinks a little further into the couch, her hands clutching her hot chocolate tighter to her chest. “Are we safe here?”

Ashton mentally reprimands himself; he doesn’t want her to fear him, yet here he is treating her like the common offender that he deals with daily. Firing questions at her and questioning her motives when really, she’s an innocent woman.

“I’m sorry Nadia, I don’t mean to scare you,” he sets his hot chocolate on the coffee table rubbing his face with his hand. He’s reminded that his rings are gone, he feels exposed then removes his hand to look at her. “And I don’t mean to offend you with my questions, I’m only trying to figure you out. I promise you that you are completely safe here. I can—”

There’s another knock at his door, and Ashton becomes a little irritated. When he’s in his office, unless they’re called, no one is to disrupt him.

“Excuse me,” he tells her then moves to the door. He opens it to see Michael standing there, his cross earrings dangling. “What?”

“There’s been a raid by the abandoned building you were at earlier,” Michael says in a rush.

“Michael, you only come to my office if it’s vital, how is this important?”

“Because it was her apartment that was raided,” Michael glances behind Ashton at Nadia.

Ashton looks behind him, Nadia’s back is to them, and he pushes Michael back into the hallway so he can close the door.

“How do you know that? You don’t even know her name—”

“Nadia Sharapova? Yeah, I do. I was given a list of names and photos of the residents and when Luke saw her photo, he told me you brought her here. Does she have any connection with Aleks?” Michael asks.

“No, she doesn’t,” Ashton shakes his head.

“Are you sure? I know she’s pretty, Ashton but—”

“She’s not, all right?” Ashton snaps. “Why was it raided?”

“The three men you fought told Aleks you defended her and now he thinks she’s close to you. She’s a target now,” Michael responds quietly.

“Shit,” Ashton hisses, his hands curling into tight fists and he begins to pace. When he comes in front of Michael he stops, “what’s it look like outside?”

“Nothing in sight. We think he might’ve set the raid as a warning, to let you know he’s watching. I can send everyone downstairs home and bring in our best—”

“No, no, keep everyone here. I don’t want to raise alarm,” Ashton is rubbing his chin now in thought. “Make sure the right people know what’s going on, and check on Meyers that his cover is still hidden. Have Asana assemble our needed artillery. I need to tell Nadia—”

“You’re really going to tell her you’re in the mafia?” Michael’s dark eyebrows disappear under his dirty blond hair.

“No, I need to tell her she doesn’t have a home to go to. Only come to my office if you have other news.”

“Yes sir,” Michael nods.

Ashton sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. His good deed of helping Nadia has now put her between a rock and a hard place. He’s not quite sure which one he is in the metaphor or which is worse. He opens the door to see she’s standing in front of the bookcase next to the fireplace. She jumps at his entrance.

“I’m sorry, I was—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waves his hand, “I have quite a lot of books in here. Um, there’s something I need to tell you, and it’s going to be difficult to hear.”

Nadia crosses her arms over her chest, not in defiance, but in more of a comforting way. Ashton almost wishes he could be the one comforting her. She nods at him to go on.

“Aleks Rozhkov is a…dangerous man and one of my…colleagues just informed me that your apartment was raided by his men,” Ashton explains carefully. He wishes he could tell her everything, it pains him to skirt around the truth like this with her.

“How do you know it was my apartment? I only told you—”

“We were sent names and photos of the residents and yours is on that list. I’m so sorry. You’re more than—”

“Names and photos? What are you, the CIA or something?” her voice rises in hysterics. She begins to knot her fingers together then grabs a lock of her hair and twists it between her fingers. Her eyes are moving frantically about the room, “This isn’t—what is happening? Why would he send men to raid my apartment?”

“Nadia, listen to me,” Ashton speaks slowly, moving his head in her line of vision. His hazel meets her brown and her breathing becomes more even. “I promise to keep you safe, but you have to trust me.”

“How can I trust you when I just met you?”

***

Ashton opens the door to see Michael standing there, his green eyes frantic as he meets the gaze with his boss.

“Mike, you know the rules—”

“I know, I know but this is urgent. There’s a woman downstairs who says she works with Liam and he wants to speak with you.”

Silent alarms go off in Ashton’s head. Liam Payne. He hasn’t heard that name in five years. They used to be a team, Ashton and Liam. They owned the town and partied with the most beautiful women. Others feared them because together, they rose to the top at an exponential rate.

Both took over the family business after their father’s ran off and hid because they were caught with extortion of money from the police. At the ripe age of eighteen, they became head bosses and had to learn the ropes from the associates their father’s left behind. Bonding over that life-altering event, they shared ideas and became as close as brothers.

It didn’t take long for them to excel their fathers’ legacies, both Liam and Ashton were easily the most respected and valued amongst their associates. Liam was the one who thought of the idea of La Belle Vie since they were living the good life. Two young men in their early twenties partying, meeting beautiful women and getting rich? What more could you want?

Another life-altering moment happened with Liam when one of the women he was seeing became pregnant. He stepped down from his duties which meant stepping down from Ashton. Ashton could only understand to a degree of why Liam stepped away, but his father leaving him left a deeper wound than he thought.

His father was all he had, but even when he was around, Ashton never felt love from him. He was always gone on “business trips” and would only say a few words to Ashton when he was home. He grew up void of love. When his father ran, Ashton swore to himself he wouldn’t have a family so he wouldn’t treat his children the same way.

Liam came around and soon after so did Michael, Luke, and Calum. The four of them became his brothers, his true family. He vowed to protect them with his life. So, when Liam left, too, he felt abandoned all over again. But he’s proud that he left to be what their fathers couldn’t be, present.

There was a raid that was happening, and Ashton called Liam for backup. He could fight like no other and drives better than any professional racecar driver he’s ever met. Liam was quick to say yes and once he arrived it was just like old times. Liam filled Ashton in on the new house he and Tanya bought, how the nursery was going to be set up with dinosaurs because they were having a boy.

Ashton could see the change in Liam, he had a new light of happiness and even showed him a picture of a large diamond ring he bought to give Tanya. Ashton was happy for him, he truly was, but to have one of his best friends—his brother—back by his side made him happier.

The raid went awry as soon as Ashton and Liam crossed the threshold of the warehouse. There were explosions and Liam was quick to pull Ashton into cover. One of the Snatchers—the Rozhkov’s errand boys—ran by and Liam took care of him quickly with a flick of his wrist and pull of his trigger. Just as Ashton was about to ask what their new plan was, Liam’s phone rang.

He picked it up because it was Tanya. Ashton remembers hearing her crying through the phone, Liam asking her what was wrong, where she was and then a scream followed by the loudest dial tone Ashton ever heard, was left in her wake. One of the Snatchers cackled behind them, gloating to another that their plan worked.

Angry and confused, Liam sprung from his place with Ashton reaching for the coattails of his suit, his gun pointed directly at the two Snatchers. They cackled again as they informed Liam that his new cookie-cut-life is no more.

Tanya and his unborn baby were in the house as a bomb went off and Liam lost control.

“Ashton…Ashton!” Michael snaps his fingers in front of Ashton’s face, snapping him back to reality.

Ashton composed himself quickly, “Did he say what he wants?”

“No. Should I have him come upstairs?”

“No, no, I’ll…I’ll be right down. Seat him in the Brandy Room, have Paco make him whatever he wants.”

“You got it,” Michael responds quietly. He looks like he wants to say something else but nods instead and moves back to the elevator.

As soon as he’s gone, Ashton backs into his office. He hears his name but it’s as if his head is underwater, his ears are ringing, and the numb feeling is back. He walks robotically to his desk, eyes on his glass as he lifts it in his fingers then flings it across the room. The glass shatters loudly on the door, the wood glistens from the liquid and ice as it runs through the panes.

The resemblance of names makes his head pound. Then his ears stop ringing and he’s shifted back into focus, Nadia’s hands are clutching at his arms spinning him around to face her. When his hazel eyes meet her warm brown ones, he locks into her gaze and holds on. When she touches his cheek, his hand is quick to cover it, feeling her warmth on his skin.

“What is it? Talk to me,” she asks him softly.

“An old…” Ashton swallows harshly and licks his lips, “a family member is here that I haven’t seen in a very long time.”

Nadia’s eyes soften, she rubs his cheek with her thumb. “Okay. What for?”

“I don’t know,” he shakes his head then knocks his forehead to hers. He breathes in her coconut and white gardenia perfume. All he wants is to stay here with her, but his past is flowing like a river into her life. He doesn’t want her to drown like him. “We didn’t leave on good terms.”

Nadia lifts her other hand to his cheek and stretches her lips forward to give him a soothing kiss. Ashton wraps his arms around her back, holding her close. She continues to stroke his cheeks lovingly. “You don’t have to tell me now,” she begins, “but if you’d like to talk about it, you know I’ll listen. Do you want me to stay up here and wait until you come back?”

“I’d like you with me,” he sighs giving in to his own selfish desires. Nadia helps keep him grounded, keeps his head level and his anger at bay.

“Okay,” she nods shifting her fingers to link together at the base of his neck.

Ashton pulls her into a tight embrace, he kisses her shoulder and exhales deeply as she kisses his ear. He gives her one more kiss before pulling back.

“How do I look?” he asks.

He watches Nadia fondly as she fixes his hair, adjusts his buttons and smooths down his shirt. Her eyes flick to his and she smiles.

“Handsome as ever.”

“Thank you, angel,” he forces half a smile. His mind is already downstairs on Liam waiting for him. Ashton grabs her hand, making sure she’s careful as they walk over the broken glass; he’ll ask Peter, one of his best waitstaff, to clean it up.

Their footsteps echo against the walls to the elevator. He leans against the parallel mirrored wall, the doors still open as Nadia settles next to him. She pushes the correct button and the doors close, showing their reflections.

***

Ashton and Nadia’s reflections stare back at them. They’re a good half a foot apart in the elevator as it starts to descend. He’s offered one of his guest rooms for her usage and for her safety. It took some convincing but after she finally agreed, he decided to take her to his place, it’s getting late.

He tries not to stare at her in the reflected elevator door but something about her captivates him. He wants to know more about her, and the thought terrifies him. the doors open once more and Ashton leads her down the hallway, he notices the way she inches closer to him, then pushes open the secret door.

There are only a few patrons left in the club, two of them being Luke and Michael sitting close together. Their heads snap in Ashton and Nadia’s direction as Ashton leads her by.

“See you tomorrow, boys,” Ashton tells them. They nod, eyes flickering to Nadia.

Once outside, Ashton opens the passenger door of his car for Nadia as she slides in. He makes sure to turn her seat warmer on which she thanks him for quietly. The ride is silent as he takes side streets and back roads, always taking the long way home in case he’s followed.

In another life, maybe he would be driving Nadia back to her place after a nice dinner, not back to his place because her home was raided. His fingers tap on the wheel reminding him how exposed they are without his rings. He’s being his most vulnerable with Nadia and they just met.

After twenty minutes, he’s pulled into his garage and shuts off his car.

“We—” when he looks at Nadia, her head is against the seat, eyes closed. He admires her for a moment, trying to decode what it is about her that has him going against his norm. Shadows from her long lashes kiss her cheeks and her cupid’s bow sticks out a little as she breathes evenly.

He doesn’t want to wake her. She looks so peaceful after a night of crazy circumstances that is ending even crazier by spending the night at a stranger’s house. Ashton sighs then exits the car moving to her side quickly. He opens the door and unbuckles her belt with care then places his hand on her shoulder.

“Nadia,” he calls her name softly. She sighs deeply, eyes fluttering open and she jumps in her seat taking in her new surroundings until her gaze lands on Ashton. “You’re all right. You fell asleep.”

He holds out his hand helping her get out, he can feel how heavy with sleep she is as they walk into the house. When they’re in the guest room, across the short skyway where Ashton’s room is, she’s practically hanging off his arms but he’s supporting her.

“There’s a bathroom just next door and remotes are in the nightstand if you’d like to watch TV,” he explains sitting her gingerly on the bed. “My room is right through the other end of the skyway, come get me if you need anything.”

Nadia nods heavily, her eyes drooping from exhaustion. Her adrenaline has finally started to subside, and she feels so drained.

“Thank you, Ashton,” she begins to crawl under the covers.

Ashton is frozen in place at the sound of his name leaving her lips. He watches her slip into the bed and curl up to one of the pillows. Her long brown hair fans behind her then he remembers it’s time to leave her be and rest. Even though everything in him wants to sit in the corner and make sure she does sleep soundly.

“Right,” he clears his throat, “Goodnight, Nadia.”

He closes the door as quietly as he can then walks through his skyway, his pathway illuminated by the moon. He hangs his suit jacket on the back of his chair, removing the rest of his clothes. Usually a man to sleep in his boxers, or naked, he pulls on some shorts and a tank top just in case. In case Nadia needs him and he doesn’t want to burst into her room completely naked.

As Ashton settles into his own California King bed, he stares up at his ceiling mulling over the events that happened tonight. Sitting outside the abandoned warehouse felt like days rather than mere hours ago. He didn’t even get a chance to investigate what exactly Rozhkov’s men were doing there. Nadia’s presence had completely shifted his focus and now all his attention is on her and keeping her safe.

He’s never truly felt alone until now, sure, he has his brothers, but this is a different kind of loneliness. It’s a loneliness of companionship while there’s a beautiful woman who crossed his path sleeping alone as well. What a twisted piece of fate.

The next morning, Ashton is on a phone call with Calum going over logistics of the raid in the kitchen when Nadia makes her way downstairs. Her arms are wrapped around herself as she takes in the whites and blacks of the appliances and surfaces, Calum’s voice drones on.

“I’ll call you back,” Ashton interrupts Calum then hangs up without a goodbye. “Good morning,” he greets Nadia.

“Morning,” she responds with a wan smile, eyes still taking in the room. Then she zeroes in on a coffee pot.

“Would you like a cup?” Ashton springs into action quickly by opening a cupboard and grabbing a mug. He pours her a decent amount then shifts to the fridge opening it up. “I have quite a selection of creamer, what would you like?”

“Um, do you have French vanilla?” she steps towards him peering into the fridge doors.

He pulls the requested creamer from the door then moves to her cup he’s started; she follows like a shadow. Ashton swirls the contents then pops the top and begins to pour.

“That’s good,” she stops him when the cream blooms in the dark coffee.

“Sugar?” he asks opening another cabinet. He realizes the double meaning of the sweet product and the pet name, for some reason he wishes he were calling her that.

“Two spoons.”

He stirs the concoction together with a spoon, tapping it on the lip before turning around to hand it to her. Nadia takes it graciously, blowing gently over the hot liquid before taking a tentative sip. She hums in approval then gives Ashton a smile.

“Thank you, it’s perfect.”

He’s hypnotized by her eyes, being this close and in the natural light he can see tiny flecks of green and gold around her pupils. He blinks then lifts his own mug back into his hand.

“How did you sleep?”

“All right. I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened last night…”

Ashton notices her shy demeanor is back.

“I know, it is a lot. I was speaking with a colleague of mine before you came in and he’s going to check it out, make sure there isn’t anything dangerous left behind. I was thinking I could take you there so you can gather some of your things and bring here,” Ashton suggests.

The notion didn’t sound so odd in his head but now that he said it aloud, he’s realized how peculiar it is to have a woman he saved from the street move in with him in less than twenty-four hours. Even if it is temporary. He hopes she doesn’t question his motives, that she can see he only wants to protect her.

Nadia takes another drink of her coffee. “That sounds like a good idea, thank you,” her voice wavers slightly.

She leans against the counter, staring outside as two little birds dance around each other on the birdbath. She tilts her head as one of the birds do, wings flittering before it hops into the water near to the other bird.

“I’m assuming you want me to stay here because it would be safer than a hotel?” Nadia asks thoughtfully.

“Your assumption would be correct,” Ashton moves from her side to stand in front of her, he cocks his head so he can capture her attention. “I want you to feel safe, Nadia. I’m so sorry that you’ve been brought into this and I hope you trust me.”

“Can’t the police do anything?” she asks, and he smiles smugly.

“I’m better than the police, trust me.”

“I do trust you,” she downs the rest of her coffee, eyes flickering to the two birds who are now gone then back to Ashton. “That’s what scares me.”

Nadia then retired to her room while Ashton waited to hear from Calum about her apartment building. When he received an all clear, he ascends the stairs walking across the skyway then pauses before he knocks gently on her door. She responds with a quiet ‘come in’ and when he opens the door he finds her sitting on the window seat with her legs curled up underneath her gazing out the window.

How can she be so effortlessly beautiful?

“Um, if you’d like to get changed we can head on over to your place,” he says from the doorway.

She turns her head then slips off the seat, her bare feet sinking in the plush carpet with every step. “I have nothing to change into,” she shrugs, “this is all I have right now.”

Ashton curses himself.

“Right. Um, then let me get dressed and we’ll make our way there. I won’t be long; you can meet me in the kitchen.”

Ashton changed into one of his more casual suits, making sure he had his gun holstered inside the jacket, before meeting Nadia in the kitchen. Their drive is silent, Ashton doesn’t really know what to expect when they arrive at her building. He made sure Calum would be there and stand guard outside while Ashton and Nadia were upstairs.

He parks smoothly along the curb, rushing to her side of the car so he can open the door for her. Calum meets them halfway on the sidewalk, he grins at Nadia kindly.

“Calum, this is Nadia. Nadia, this is Calum, he’s a colleague of mine and a brother,” Ashton introduces them.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nadia,” Calum grins again holding out his hand which Nadia takes. “I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nadia smiles weakly. When their hands release, she crosses her arms over her chest, an action Ashton notices she does a lot.

“We all right to go in?” Ashton asks nodding to the building.

“Yeah, everyone else is out. I spoke with the landlord and he said he’s going to have authorities take over to try and catch the—whoever did this.” Calum glances at Nadia then Ashton, he heard from Michael that Ashton doesn’t want her to know what his line of work is.

“I know who did this,” Nadia offers throwing a quick glimpse to Ashton, “he just won’t tell me why.”

Calum’s eyebrows raise in amusement, eyes darting between his boss and this woman he rescued the night prior.

“He’s a smart man. I’ll be out here if you need me.”

“Thanks Calum,” Ashton claps him on the shoulder as Nadia skirts around him. She pulls on the door; Ashton follows her down the hall to the elevator. “Which one are you in?”

“4C,” she says pushing the number four.

He follows her again as she walks down the hallway to the fourth door on the right, he knows Calum cleared the building but he’s keeping his wits about him. Nadia pulls her key from the pocket of her borrowed sweatpants, slotting it in the lock and turning. He notices her shoulders rise, then fall before she pushes the door open.

Peering over her head he can see the destruction her apartment is in. Plates and mugs are broken on the kitchen floor, chairs and tables are overturned. Her couch is even ripped open on the seats and she takes tentative steps inside, Ashton close behind. Picture frames are askew on the wall or tossed on the floor along with magazines, books, and dirt from upturned plants.

After taking in his surroundings, he shifts his focus to Nadia who has her hand over her mouth, eyes wide as she takes in her home. Nadia walks slowly to certain areas; her couch and her bookshelf in the corner, a spot on the wall that has impressions of picture frames left on the paint. When she pushes open her bedroom door, that’s when she gasps.

Not wanting her to be here longer than necessary, he moves behind her with his hand out as if to hold onto her elbow or cup her shoulder in comfort. He drops his hand in silent defeat, shoving it in his pocket instead.

“I can help you pack some clothes or pillows or whatever you need—”

“Can I have a few minutes, please?” she asks quietly, her voice cracking.

“I can—”

“Please, just…five minutes, Ashton.”

Ashton backs out of her room silently. Before he can make it to her main door, he hears her choked sobs as she cries. He swears in that moment he will protect her with his life.

***

The two men standing guard in front of the Brandy Room door, Charlie and Emil, step aside as soon as Ashton and Nadia approach. They nod solemnly to Ashton then smile in unison to Nadia as they open the doors. Nadia notices the usual men and women standing along the border of the room, Ashton always had his best security in La Belle Vie but she pauses on the woman with sleek black hair sitting at the table and a man in an Armani suit standing with his back to them. She assumes this is the family member Ashton is nervous about.

“Liam,” Ashton calls his name and Liam turns.

Nadia’s taken aback at how handsome he is, sharp jaw, chiseled beard with an odd, hard glint in his eyes but when he smiled it disappeared. When he smiled Nadia was reminded of a puppy that she wanted to get to know.

“Ashton! How’s it going, mate?” Liam sets his short glass of brandy on the circular table in front of him. He walks around the table, his arms opening wide for a hug but Ashton steps back. Liam chuckles shaking his head, resting his hand on the back of one of the chairs. “I deserve that,” he indicates the woman, “this is Veronica.”

Veronica has almond shaped eyes that are a piercing green in color. A beauty mark lies above her perfectly full lips. She stares at them as if bored and Nadia feels very intimidated

“We’ve met briefly,” Ashton’s voice is clipped as he keeps his gaze on Liam. “What are you doing here, Liam?”

“We’re not done with introductions yet! Who may you be, love?” Liam peers behind Ashton at Nadia.

Ashton turns to her; his face softens as he stares at her. He wants to hold her hand, but he knows if he does in this moment, he’ll be weak at her touch which is the opposite of what he wants to be right now.

“This is Nadia.”

Liam brushes past Ashton to take Nadia’s hand in his, bringing it to his lips, smiling on her knuckles.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nadia. I’ve heard whispers about you and they’re true, you are an exceptionally beautiful woman,” he murmurs then kisses her knuckles before releasing her hand.

Nadia’s cheeks flush at the compliment, she’s quick to peek at Ashton whose jaw is clenched at the interaction. She knows how protective he is of her and although Liam looks like a puppy when he smiles, he could have a mean bite for all she knows.

“Thank you,” she replies politely, nonetheless.

“What are you doing here, Liam?” Ashton asks again forcing his voice to remain even and controlled.

“I hear Aleks is still at large and I want to help end him,” Liam shoves his hand in his pocket walking back around the table. He struts confidently as if he owns the place and Nadia is confused at how comfortable he seems as he picks up his glass and takes a smooth swallow. “Veronica has been my little fly on the wall relaying what’s been going on to me.”

“You’ve been spying on me?”

“Spying, getting intel…it’s all relative,” Liam shrugs finishing off his drink. He places his empty glass on the table then leans on it with his palms. “I’m sick of him getting away with shit. I know you’ve got a plan and I want in.”

Ashton is reverted to that horrible day, where he lost his brother forever. Liam went ballistic and charged for the Snatchers who were boasting about the death of his girlfriend and unborn son. It was a distraction that took Ashton and Liam from the main quandary of reaching Aleks.

Ashton hurled himself into the throes of Liam’s rage and broken heartedness until the Snatchers were unconscious. Then Liam fired two kill shots into their foreheads. Aleks got away. Liam and Ashton had a fallout with harsh words then Ashton was abandoned again.

“What do you say?” Liam’s voice pulls Ashton back to the present.

“Why do you want to help now? I haven’t seen nor heard from you in five years, Liam. You don’t want this li—you don’t want a part of this…business… anymore,” Ashton catches himself because of Nadia’s presence.

Liam’s eyes flicker between Ashton and Nadia, the corner of his mouth twitches as he makes the connection that Nadia is completely in the dark of Ashton’s true business. He lets it slide this time.

“You’re right, I don’t. But I want to get rid of Rozhkov more. Veronica is my eyes and ears and when she heard Rozhkov is selling or buying or whatever the hell he does, I had to see you. Just think about it, yeah?” Liam reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a card. He holds it out to Nadia between his two fingers, she plucks it delicately from him. “I know he won’t take it from me, but I can tell he trusts you, beautiful. Make sure he calls me.”

He winks at her quickly, gives Ashton one final look then snaps his fingers. Veronica springs from her seat gliding to the door as they both make their exit. Nadia reads the card in her hand, it’s slate gray with silver writing that reads his name and below that it says ‘Efficient in getting the job done’ followed by a phone number.

Ashton exhales loudly, leaning on the tabletop and Nadia shifts her attention to him. She moves forward, stroking her hand over his back while the other grips his bicep giving him a comforting squeeze. She waits patiently for him to say something, analyzing how heavy his body seems. Not entirely sure on what he did today, she can tell that whatever it was has left him drained then Calum’s advice pops in her head.

“Let’s go home, get you in a nice hot shower and into to bed,” she offers.

He stands to his full height, sighing with a smirk as he strokes her cheek with his fingers.

“I’ll never deny a shower with you, angel. Come on.”

The couple say their quick goodbyes to everyone in the main room of the club, Calum and Asana now seated at the bar. Asana’s long legs are crossed as she sits atop the bar, Calum’s hand resting on her knee as he eyes Ashton after watching Liam exit the Brandy Room. Ashton shakes his head, Calum nods in understanding then turns his attention back to Asana who pokes his nose with her gold painted fingernail.

Ashton keeps a firm hand on Nadia’s thigh as he races home. The events of the day and seeing Liam are trying to catch up with him but he doesn’t want to face them quite yet. He’ll face them after spending time with Nadia in the shower and in their bed until she inevitably falls asleep from the activities they’ll be participating in.

Nadia takes the lead by grabbing his hand and pulls him upstairs to their shared bedroom. While she gathers their towels, Ashton discards his gun from his holster. He unloads it, double checks the safety is on and places it in the perfect outline of the case next to his side of the bed. Before Nadia, he’d always kept it loaded and right on the nightstand but now, he didn’t want her to accidentally pick it up and hurt herself.

He shuts the case with a satisfying snap then turns to Nadia who’s leaning against the opening of the bathroom door. She flashes him a keen smile then pushes off the door jamb entering the bathroom. The water sprays on as he makes his way into the bathroom just in time to see Nadia reach for her zipper.

“Let me,” he tells her softly. His fingers overtake hers, pulling the zipper down its track to the very bottom of her lower back. He brushes the straps off her tanned skin, the fabric drops to the floor in melted gold. She turns around and his breath is stolen at the sight of her naked body before him. “I’ll never get over how beautiful you are.”

Her cheeks flush, then Ashton watches her intently as she unbuttons his dress pants yanking his shirt from the waistband before working on the buttons of his shirt. He lets her push it off his shoulders while he kicks off his boots. He takes over by removing his pants, boxers and socks; his eyes never straying from hers. He lets her lead him into the large shower, steam rolling over them in clouds.

In a controlled manner, he cradles the back of her head in his hand pushing her against the dark tiled wall under the stream of water. Nadia gasps at the movement then hums when he presses his body against hers. She tilts her head back, eyes darkening with lust and love. He smirks at her submission, moving his hand from the back of her head to her neck, his thumb pulling her mouth open.

“What do you want from me, angel?” he asks huskily dipping his head so he can kiss the underside of her jaw. His teeth graze at the lobe of her ear before sucking a bruising kiss on her neck, his favorite form of showing she’s his woman, his love. “Speak to me.”

“Your lips,” she sighs, and he smiles pulling his head back to meet her eyes.

“Where do you want my lips?”

Nadia raises her hand then taps her bottom lip. “Right here.”

He crushes his mouth to hers, tongue invading her mouth easily and he tightens his grip on her waist and the back of her neck. His fingers knot in her hair while her hands travel up his back, squeezing the muscles in his shoulders. He feels as if he’s kissing her too roughly, so he reins it back. Many times before, he’s taken his frustration out by releasing it in rough sex with her. He knows her body well so he knows what she can take, and she always, always has a safe word that if she utters it he will stop whatever he’s doing immediately.

Right now, though, he wants a different form of passion with her, so he kisses her slowly.

“What else?” he mumbles on her lips and she hikes her leg up to his waist. The height difference makes it difficult because she can’t get a firm grip, so he helps by securing his hand behind her knee. His already hard and aching dick brushes against her inner thigh, she bucks her hips forward.

“Want you to fuck me,” she gasps, her nails digging into his skin.

“Already? You don’t want my fingers first?” he teases pushing his hips against hers. Her eyes close and he grins. “You were so good for me in my office…took my fingers so well.”

“Please, Ashton, please,” she whines trying to grind her core over his hot, wet dick.

He leans back then lifts her other leg, so it hooks around his waist securely. He grabs the base of his dick, rubbing his head through her leaking folds, pushing in slightly. Nadia bites her lip.

“You want me to go slow or fast?” he pushes in more, his senses tingling by feeling her warm walls take him in.

“Fast,” she whispers, eyes lowering to watch him enter her inch by inch.

As soon as he’s slotted into her fully, Nadia gasps from the fullness of him, and he begins a fast pace of thrusting. His grip is firm on her thighs as he holds her against the shower wall, cock propelling easily with his force. Nadia’s nails scratch at his back while her body jerks against the tile, her head smacking it as well.

Ashton nudges his hand behind her head as a cushion, he doesn’t want her to get a headache but continues to pound relentlessly into her as her moans bounce off the walls from the stimulation. With each push she clenches around him and it brings Ashton closer to his release. Nadia’s head falls to his neck, her lips suctioning onto his skin.

“Nadia,” he warns through his teeth not wanting a mark to show and he slows his movements. She moans against him instead, her breath hot on his skin, teeth still embedded on his shoulder. “Nadia,” he repeats more sternly, and she releases her teeth.

Satisfied, he picks up his pace, dick slamming in and out in an effortless glide. Her moans are more consistent as she’s rocked with pleasure, clenching around him as she comes.

“That’s my good girl,” he groans, his own orgasm taking over. His hips continue to pulsate against her, his body stilling as they both come down.

Nadia hums, releasing her nails from his skin that Ashton’s sure is covered in red streaks. He doesn’t mind those marks because his men won’t see those. He loves the lasting impression of her passion ingrained in his back, the burn a constant reminder of their fiery love.

He kisses her wet hair, thumb rubbing at the bottom of her scalp before lifting her off him. He sets her down tenderly onto the floor keeping a steady hand on her hips as her legs shake slightly. He glides his hands up and over her chest to cradle her cheeks.

“Let’s clean up and go to bed, yeah? What do you say?”

“Thank you,” she mumbles.

He smiles at her response, it’s not quite the one he was looking for now, but he appreciates it all the same. It was a method he came up with. If she didn’t thank him for an orgasm, it meant he didn’t satisfy her enough—or at all—so that’s his green light to keep going until he pleasured her.

He kisses her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, then gives her a soft peck on the lips before he cleans her up. They massage shampoo in each other’s hair, letting it rinse off as they held each other kissing under the water. Ashton turns the water off and wraps her in the large fluffy towel.

As their bodies dry, they brush their teeth and he brushes through her hair after she toweled it off. It’s one of his most favorite intimate acts to do with her, Nadia adores her hair and he loves the shine and softness of it. Changing into their sleep clothes, he shuts the light off as she crawls into their large bed. When he’s settled next to her, he turns her by the cheek to look up at him.

“I love you, Nadia. You know that, right?”

“Of course, I do. I love you, too, Ashton.” She stretches up to give him a kiss. “Get some sleep and we can discuss Liam tomorrow, okay? I know you’re thinking about it.”

He doesn’t reply as she nestles into the sheets and against his chest, she’s asleep in seconds. Ashton remains awake for hours after. His mind reeling from his past coming into his present, it’s bringing forth emotions he thought he’s long forgotten. Nadia’s fingers tighten on his tank top, sighing out “sleep, honey. ‘m right here.”

He kisses her head then closes his eyes, she’s his weakness as much as she’s his strength.

***

It’s been three weeks now that Nadia has been staying with Ashton. In that time, he’s driven her to and from work and to practice in the city. He’s always parked outside so he can watch for Rozhkov’s men and thankfully she’s been safe every time. Ashton prefers when they’re at his home or La Belle Vie because he knows Nadia is one hundred percent safe.

With his new role of security for Nadia, Calum, Luke, and Michael have all stepped up to take over his usual duties at the club and intercepting phone calls. Ashton is constantly in the know on everything which caused endless late nights; he’s running on caffeine.

The only time Nadia and Ashton are truly apart are when he’s in meetings at the club and while they sleep. One night while he was sending e-mails, he heard a commotion from the kitchen. Jumping into action quickly, he flew down the stairs with his hand on his gun, when he saw her poking around in the cabinets.

Sighing with relief, he removed his hand as he approached her slowly while also forcing himself not to stare at her long legs extended from her shorts.

“Are you all right?” he asked, and she jumped at his voice.

“Yeah, I’m…I can’t sleep so I was looking for a snack…I’m sorry, this isn’t my home I shouldn’t be—”

“No, no, don’t apologize,” he shook his head. “I’m the reason you’re here, treat it like your home. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

“Popcorn?”

When the popcorn was popped and in a large glass bowl, he invited her into his study that was opposite his room. Hearing her munch on the popcorn behind him was oddly endearing as they walked through the skyway. He motioned to a plush armchair that had a blanket thrown over the back. Periodically he would place blankets all over the house for her to use, they appeared to be a comfort for her.

“You’re still in a suit this late?” she asked pulling the gray knit blanket over her legs. “Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?”

“Not really,” he shrugged crossing out a number on his sheet of paper. “I’ve been wearing suits since I was eighteen.”

“It’s like a dress code,” she mumbled shoving popcorn into her mouth.

“How so?” he grinned.

“All of you wear them. When we’re at La Belle Vie, everybody there is in a suit. Even the women, which, isn’t a bad thing of course, but it’s…interesting.” She gave him a narrowed look and he laughed.

“Are you making observations?”

“I am. I’m trying to do process of elimination.”

“For what?”

“Figuring out your job.”

Ashton froze. The playful banter was short lived like he should expect, but he never wants her to know what he does or has done in the past. He never wants her to see the copious amounts of blood on his hands.

“You won’t figure it out, and it’s better if you don’t. Trust me.”

“I do trust you, remember?”

Nearly every night after that, she would join him in his study while eating a bowl of popcorn talking with him until she finished it. It was always his favorite part of the day, spending this time with her. He got to ask her questions and understand her the more she opens up about herself.

He discovered she started dancing at the young age of four, she was constantly dancing and spinning around the house until her parents decided to set her up with lessons. Nadia quickly danced her way to the top of her class and was always excelling to the next age level, two years ahead her own age.

While ballet had its own structure and poise, Nadia really felt free when she danced, like it was the only place for her to be. She received a full scholarship to Juilliard at the age of seventeen, even studied abroad in the Royal Ballet School in London for one semester and then in The Paris Opera Ballet School in Paris.

Ashton is impressed by her successes asking what made her decide to dance at the Chamber City Company when there are plenty other prime ballet companies to be a part of.

“I love it here; I love teaching other young dancers and ballet is more of my soul than a job. If I were to join any other troupe, I’d be run like a machine and it wouldn’t be enjoyable,” she explained.

On another night, he found out how much she loves chocolate covered strawberries and the fog that blankets over dewy grass in the early mornings. Her guilty pleasure is watching classic black and white romance movies amongst her other likes of Italian food and dislikes of avocadoes. Her brown eyes shine a bit brighter when she talks of her interests, but nothing compares to the sparkle in them when she talks about her dancing.

She’s tried to figure out what his job really entails but Ashton catches on to her innocent questions easily and doesn’t reveal a thing. She never gives up and although he admires her perseverance, it upsets him that he continually lies to her but it’s for her own protection. He knows he’s rationalizing, but he brought her into this mess and telling her the truth would make it messier.

Nadia’s upstairs in the bar area with Michael while Ashton is down in the third lowest level of the club with Asana in the weapons room. She’s tapping away at her laptop while he eyes up some new artillery she has displayed out for him.

“I hear you’re going to Italy soon,” Asana starts conversationally.

“I’ve been trying to get out of it,” he mumbles.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t want to leave Nadia alone.”

Asana smirks and continues typing when she replies, “Why don’t you bring her with you?”

“Absolutely not,” Ashton deadpans, the look on his face clearly signifying it wasn’t open for discussion.

“She’s safest with you,” Asana sighs and closes her laptop. She leans on it; her dark eyes pierce his. “And if Aleks is keeping eyes on you, he’d use your distance from her as an advantage. He could come here and take her out while you’re gone.”

Ashton ponders this for a moment. He would trust Luke and Michael to protect her while he was gone but Asana has a point; Nadia is safest with him. Wherever he goes, there’s plenty of security plus he’s a deadly weapon himself.

“Wouldn’t that be moving too fast? I’ve known her for three weeks and I’d already be bringing her on a trip to Italy? What would she even do while I’m meeting with the Guerriero’s?”

“I could come with and take her shopping,” she smiles.

“This isn’t a vacation, Asana. And Calum would be working as well.”

“I know, and you know that I protect my own,” Asana’s voice turns assertive. “I can see how much she means to you, boss man. Three weeks or three years, there isn’t a deadline on caring for someone. It happens unexpectedly.”

“What if she says no?”

“Then she says no,” Asana shrugs crossing her arms. “I’ll stay here and help make sure she’s safe and going to practice. Have you seen her dance yet, by the way?”

“No…should I have?”

“I’ve read the forums and reviews of the Chamber City Company, and she’s the best dancer. I was only curious.”

“I’m sure I will someday. Thanks Asana, I’ll think about what you said,” he says then turns to the door, but he stops. “What’s going on between you and Cal anyway?”

“Figure it out, boss man,” she sighs airily then goes back to her work.

Later that night Nadia knocks on his study door and Ashton invites her in with a dull tone. He’s standing near the window rubbing the knots in his neck as she enters. His suit jacket has been tossed on one of the armchairs and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. He’s been stressed all night.

“Everything all right?” Nadia asks setting the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. She crosses her arms over her chest approaching his desk.

“Not really,” he sighs. “I’m needed in Italy for the next four days. I’ve tried negotiating and sending only Calum but they’re requesting me.”

“Why’s that a bad thing?”

Ashton turns to look at her, his jaw tensing. “I won’t be here to protect you. And while I trust my men and women to do that while I’m away…it puts me at ease when I know for sure you’re safe. With me.”

A soft pink blooms on Nadia’s cheeks at his sentiment. Over the last few weeks, her trust in Ashton has increased tenfold. He’s treated her with the utmost respect and never overcrowds her. He’s sure to give her her space and that she feels comfortable in his house. She’s still trying to figure out his line of business but her only leads are that it’s dangerous and Ashton is fearfully respected from everyone around him.

“Oh. Would I be here by myself?”

“No,” he responds quickly, “I’d have Michael and Luke here with you. My security system is top of the line but--”

“How long would you be gone?”

“Four days. There’s another option but I’m unsure of it,” he swallows thickly then rests his hands on the desk. He lifts his head looking at her in an almost morose way as he weighs the options he’s been given.

“What’s that option?”

“Asana, my head specialist, suggested I bring you with me so I would know you’re safe. But by knowing me…your life has already been upturned, and I don’t want to add more by flying you across the world.”

Nadia chews on her lower lip. How odd is it that if he were to leave her here, she’d be worried about him? From what she’s gathered on her own probing, his job is dangerous, but she doesn’t know exactly why or how.

Since the moment they met, he’s been protecting her with his life.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Italy,” she says brightly.

Ashton’s eyebrows raise in bemusement then he’s laughing, and Nadia follows.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to miss practice or your classes with your students.”

“I’m sure. I can get a sub and practice is on hold because the floors are being redone. There’s only one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t have a passport,” she laughs nervously. Excitement and nerves bubble in her stomach at the thought of traveling to Italy. She has always wanted to go but never would have dreamed it would be with a man like Ashton, this mysterious, handsome man who has taken her in.

“I can have that arranged, Nadia.”

***

Every morning before Nadia leaves for practice she and Ashton share a cup of coffee and a light breakfast of English muffins and fruit. She leaves the remaining crumbs outside for the birds that always come by the feeder and birdbath, a request she made to Ashton long ago of keeping birdseed on hand. There’s something about watching them that soothes her and always brings a smile to her face.

“How long is practice today?” Ashton asks watching her place the small scraps of food in her palm.

“Three, then I teach from four to five thirty,” she rises from her place at the table and opens one of the French doors. Ashton watches her as she sprinkles the treats on the wooden platform of the feeder then comes back inside to stand next to him. “Do we have plans tonight?”

“Well,” he sighs winding his arm around her waist to pull her closer, “I’ve got a big meeting today that I’m hoping won’t go until five thirty. I was thinking we could go downtown to Caesar’s Palace for dinner?” He rests his other hand on her stomach, rubbing her affectionately.

“You know I never turn down Caesar’s,” she smiles brushing his dark hair away from his forehead. “Should I have Vinny drop me off at the club or come home and wait for you?”

“Meet me at the club, I’m having a new dress delivered for you,” he grins up at her and Nadia tugs on his hair.

“Ashton! What did we just discuss last night?” she whines in mock irritation.

“I can’t help it that I want to spoil you, baby,” he tickles her stomach until she’s doubling over squealing in laughter.

“Spoil me too much and I might get used to it,” she growls lowly in his ear. She nips at the shell of his ear and Ashton tries to drag her onto his lap but Nadia fights away from his grasp. “No, no,” she wiggles her finger at his perplexed expression; she’s never pulled away from him before. “If I spoil you too much, you might get used to it, honey.”

She twirls on her heels and Ashton has half a mind to follow after her, take her in his arms and press her against the kitchen island while his teeth graze along her throat and his fingers slip into her shorts. He restrains himself, knowing that in doing what he desires will leave them both late which isn’t much of a concern for himself, but he doesn’t want to put Nadia in that position. So, he watches her in an ever-growing fondness as she skips upstairs to their room to get dressed.

Within an hour, both Ashton and Nadia are in the main foyer waiting for Vinny to arrive. Ashton is making sure his cufflinks (black with his initials in gold) are situated perfectly while Nadia is plucking off small pieces of lint that only she can see off his shoulders. Her hair is done up in a French chignon with some fly aways shaping her face.

“So, at precisely five forty-five you will be in your office waiting for me for dinner?” she asks, her eyebrows flicking up.

“If the meeting goes well, yes, I will be waiting anxiously for you at five forty-five itching with excitement to help you change into your new dress,” he winks.

“You’re terrible,” Nadia giggles gathering her bags in her arms and over her shoulders. “There won’t be room in our closet if you keep buying me all these dresses.”

“I could always have a new closet built for you,” he suggests tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“My own Barbie Dream Closet, huh?”

“If you say so, doll,” he grins bending down to give her a tender kiss. Nadia sighs into his affection, always welcoming it.

“People will think you dress me every morning,” she mumbles on his lips.

“I prefer to undress you,” his mouth travels to her ear. Nadia snickers and pushes on his chest, but his grip is tight on her forearm.

“You’ve been insatiable, lately,” she sighs in appreciation, “what’s gotten into you?”

Ashton’s lips freeze on her lobe as her words set in. He’s acting the way he did when he was eighteen with Liam, the feeling of losing control so he tried to combat it by fixating it on his sexual endeavors. He doesn’t want Nadia to be a part of that spectrum, but with Aleks Rozhkov coming at large and Liam reappearing, it seems he’s slipping into his old self.

“I’m sorry,” he huffs kissing her cheek innocently before pulling away. “Things have been tense at work.”

“We can talk about it at dinner, and Liam if you want. He’s a big part of this too, right?” Nadia frowns.

Ashton sighs, he desperately wants to tell her everything about his life. She’s been wrapped up in it with him for almost a year and a half. Could he tell her? Should he tell her? Before he can answer, there’s a swift knock on the front door, Vinny’s arrived and Ashton sighs again.

“We’ll talk at dinner. Have a good day and dance your heart out for me, okay?”

“I always do,” she smiles rising on her toes to give him a kiss. “I love you. Don’t work too hard.”

“I love you, too, angel,” he grins opening the door. “Vinny.”

“Hello sir,” Vinny greets. He’s a tall, very broad-shouldered man with a crew cut. He’s tough as nails but is sweet as pie to Nadia, much like everyone in Ashton’s mafia family is. “I’ll make sure she’s at the club right at five forty-five.”

“Thanks Vinny,” Ashton nods as he takes Nadia’s bags from her. “I’ll try to call or text around lunchtime, Nadia.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” she steals another kiss to his cheek then follows Vinny to his matte black Bentley Bentayga that is equipped with bulletproof doors and windows. A feature added thanks to Asana that eases Ashton’s worry when she’s away from him.

Ashton feels the ticking of his watch against his wrist as he watches Calum circle a new Snatcher in the middle of the interrogation room. When he arrived at La Belle Vie, Ashton immediately went to his office to listen to voicemails from the Sheriff’s department and the Guerriero’s requesting his and Nadia’s presence at their annual party. He was called into the interrogation room at eleven o’clock.

Calum has only received bits of information that don’t hold value to Ashton, the Snatcher’s name and his birthday, which Ashton has already forgotten. Michael and Luke have been eyeing Ashton throughout the whole altercation, waiting for his order to do something more or to take the situation into his own hands.

Ashton is exhausted. Each tick of his watch is another reminder that he’s missed his window to call Nadia and it’s left him on a dangerous edge. He wants answers and his fingers twitch at the thought of getting them himself.

“Should we turn the heat up on him?” Michael asks almost excitedly. Luke perks up next to him, this has been a boring questioning for all of them.

Ashton unbuttons his suit jacket, and immediately one of his other associates is beside him to help remove the jacket. He sets his jaw while rolling up his sleeves carefully, watching Calum as he’s bent in front of the Snatcher.

“Hang that up,” Ashton orders motioning to his jacket, “I have dinner plans tonight.” He steps into the square patch of light, revealing himself to the Snatcher who visibly gulps at his appearance. It makes Ashton smirk. “Why don’t you take a break Cal, get a drink.”

“You sure, boss? I just got my ring cleaned and wanted to test it out on this fucker,” Calum turns his fist in the light, his engraved ring that also matches Ashton’s initials engraved ring glimmers. Each member has their initials in a ring so they can leave their mark like Ashton, it’s a form of unity.

“Maybe later. You’ve been at this too long, let me see if I can get our friend here to talk.”

“You’re in for it now,” Calum grins devilishly at the Snatcher. He gives Ashton a quick glance then backs into the darkness.

Ashton cocks his head to the side, folding his arms over his chest as he inspects the Snatcher like a car he’s thinking of buying. He’s contemplating on how to proceed. The ticking of his clock is felt on his whole arm, a constant reminder that his Nadia is dancing.

“From what I’ve heard, you were quite easy to catch,” he begins. “Why’s that?”

“It was either get caught by your stupid men or fall off the building,” the man responds. “I didn’t want to die so this seemed like the lesser option.”

“Oh, you think so?” Ashton smirks. “If that’s the case, then why did you gulp when I showed up?” he walks around the man slowly, taking in his body language. His arms are bound tightly behind him on the back of the chair, but his body is full of tension, Ashton can see the sweat on his neck as he comes back around to his front. “You’ve heard things about me, right?” Ashton bends over to look into his eyes.

The man clears his throat and licks his lips averting his gaze from Ashton’s. “Maybe.”

“I’m curious as to how you think being brought to me is the lesser option,” Ashton stands straight again, planting his feet.

“Others have been let go and told to change their identity.”

Ashton stares at him for a long time, waiting for the punchline because that’s the furthest thing from the truth. When the punchline doesn’t come, Ashton shakes his head sighing.

“Who told you that? Your boss Aleks? Hate to break it—actually, no, I’d love to break it to you, Snatcher, but he’s been lying to you. I don’t let people go.”

“Then just kill me.”

“No…no, I don’t think I will,” Ashton rubs his chin as if in contemplative thought. “This could be your lucky day where I do let you go after you give me the information I ask for. This tough act of mine could be just that, right? An act? So, tell me what Aleks is doing in my city again after being silent and you’ll be on your merry way to Mexico or wherever you think your other Snatcher fiends have disappeared to.”

There’s silence for a long moment, Ashton waits patiently. The ticking against his wrist feels harder, sounds louder, and it just makes him angrier that he couldn’t call Nadia on her lunch break. He can’t let that show right now, he wants the Snatcher to think he’ll walk free and release Aleks’ information.

“I have all day here,” he sighs, “I can order food and drink and enjoy it right in front of you until you talk. Because you will talk. Sandy beaches calling your name and all that.”

“It’s… it has nothing to do with you,” the Snatcher finally says, shoulders falling in defeat.

“What has nothing to do with me? You need to be more specific.”

“He—Aleks, he wants….” He shifts in his chair, but it only tightens the restraints on his body.

“What does he want?” Ashton implores stepping closer.

“He wants Nadia.”

Ashton fights to keep his composure while his associates react to that information and the ticking against his skin isn’t helping as it sounds a lot like her name. Na-dia, Na-dia, tick, tick. He inhales deeply through his nose.

“What does he want with her?”

“He’s getting paid from some anonymous person with a lot of money. They say she dances like no one has ever seen before.”

“What does this anonymous dealer plan to do?”

“Aleks will get paid in full and the anonymous person will kill her.”

Ashton flexes his fingers walking behind the Snatcher again, so he won’t see Ashton shaking with rage. He looks to Michael who understands what he wants without a word; to check on Nadia with Vinny. Michael exits the interrogation room with his phone already pressed to his ear.

Ashton regains his composure then circles back in front of the Snatcher; he rests his hands on the arms of the chair peering at him with a look that could honestly kill.

“What is the point of wanting her then killing her?” Ashton hates speaking the words out loud, it leaves a vile taste in his mouth.

“Aleks negotiated he’d have her as his own tiny dancer before sending her off to the anonymous dealer.”

Ashton stares him down, his anger boiling as the ticking of his watch persists. When he stands to full height he walks back around the chair just as Michael comes back into the room nodding his head that Nadia is all right.

“When does he plan on executing this plan?” Ashton’s voice is leveled.

“I don’t know,” he shakes his head vigorously which in part shakes his whole body. “Can I go now? I told you everything I know.”

Ashton slips his gun from his shoulder holster meticulously; he runs his fingers over his initials on the grip.

“You’re wrong again, because if it’s about Nadia,” he bends down so his mouth is level with the Snatcher’s ear, “it has everything to do with me. It isn’t your lucky day after all.” In one swift motion, Ashton stands straight releasing the safety and pulls the trigger into the back of the Snatcher’s head. “You would’ve been better off falling off that building.” The Snatcher’s body crumples forward as the shot echoes throughout the room. “Put the lights on please. Clean this mess up.”

He holsters his gun while extending his arm for his jacket that is placed over his forearm and he leaves the room. Noises of his associates springing into action follow him up the stairs to the bar. Calum is sitting near the edge of the bar as if waiting for Ashton to ascend.

“Ready for me?” Calum asks rising from his seat.

“He’s taken care of,” Ashton mumbles continuing to walk past him towards his office. Calum is quick to follow, knowing to remain silent in the elevator until they’re in the safety of his office.

Ashton tosses his jacket over the back of the couch moving to his drink cart and pours himself brandy in a crystal glass. He swallows it in one pull before he pours another then sits himself at his desk. Calum approaches him carefully.

“What’d you find out?” Calum asks sitting in one of his chairs.

Ashton circles the rim of the glass with his finger. “An anonymous dealer is paying Aleks to capture Nadia. Aleks plans to use her as his own tiny dancer before sending her off to the dealer who will then kill her.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know,” Ashton murmurs, removing his finger from the glass then sits back in his chair. Calum’s brows are furrowed in thought. “The Snatcher didn’t know anything else. Security is going to be tripled, and I’m going to contact Hotchkiss to be on high alert.”

“But Nadia’s all right?”

“I wouldn’t be here if she weren’t. I don’t want to alarm her, but I’m sending more men to her dance class to be safe until Vinny brings her back here.”

“What about her performance of Romeo and Juliet? That’s in a few days, isn’t it?”

“Shit,” Ashton hisses. He sighs deeply twisting his engraved ring. “I’ll have to tell her she can’t do it. I’m not risking her getting taken right under my nose.”

“She’s not going to like that, mate,” Calum shakes his head.

“Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn. Her safety has always been my top priority, you know that, and she knows that.”

There’s a knock at the door and Peter, the best of Ashton’s waitstaff, enters swiftly.

“Sorry sir, this was delivered, and I was told to personally hand it to you,” Peter says holding out a square envelope.

Ashton takes it from him, inspecting his name scrawled on the front. “Thank you, Peter.” He cuts it open with his letter opener to see it’s an invitation. In a sloping font on hard parchment are the words:

Liam Payne requests the presence of Ashton Irwin and Nadia Sharapova at his favored residence of King’s Club at eight o’clock. Mr. Payne will be on the second floor.

Ashton curses and tosses the invitation across his desk. Calum picks it up, reads through it quickly then glances up at his friend, his boss, with eyebrows raised.

“So, he is back, then?”

“He wants to help take down Rozhkov apparently. I’ll go but Nadia isn’t coming.”

“You were just saying how you wanted security tripled. You know you’ll be more focused on her wellbeing than talking with Liam. Why don’t you want her to go?”

“He showed a little too much interest for my liking.”

Calum’s lips twitch. “Everyone shows a little too much interest in Nadia for your liking. She should go with you; I know how Liam being here is derailing you, but she helps keep you at ease. Security will still be tight, but if you don’t bring her she’ll know something’s up.”

Ashton sighs because he knows Calum is right. Nadia does keep him grounded and with the new information of requesting her kidnapping, he’d be a fool to let her out of his sight.

***

It’s the night before Nadia will be joining Ashton to Italy. She arrived home—how strange it is to call Ashton’s home hers and even stranger that it felt so natural—from ballet class to see bags set aside to the entrance of the kitchen. Curious, she inspects them closer to see one of them has a tag with her name on it. Ashton must have packed for her.

On the counter she saw his wallet and keys and a note of their flight departure, she noticed a passport wasn’t present. Had he forgotten she doesn’t have a passport? Nadia looks all over the counter and the kitchen table for the small blue book but saw nothing and decides to head upstairs in search of Ashton.

There’s low music coming from his room, the door partially closed. She knocks before opening it and doesn’t see Ashton. She steps in a bit further peering into his closet that was open to the right when the bathroom door swings open behind her.

“Nadia?”

“Oh!” she jumps turning around then gasps when she sees Ashton wearing nothing, but a black towel held in his fist on his waist. She ogles at his bare torso, the chains of his necklace shining with his tattoos on full display over his muscular stomach. Her eyes continue to travel over his perfectly curled chest hair down as it disappears in a thin trail passed his bellybutton. There are some scars littered about his skin that she wants to know each story of.

“Is everything all right?” he asks, fist tightening on the towel.

“Um, I’m sorry. I…uhh, I was…” she stutters forcing her eyes back up to his hazel ones that are dead set on her. Her cheeks warm by being caught gawking and clears her throat, “I saw things were packed downstairs but didn’t see a passport for me.”

“It will be on the jet tomorrow morning, don’t worry,” he smiles moving to his dresser. He pulls open a drawer, the muscles in his back flexing with the motion and Nadia’s mouth goes dry. There’s another tattoo on the back of his neck, some type of bird that piques her interest once more. Her eyes follow the slope of his back downward, stopping at the towel where she can see the outline of his ass. He turns around, his expression amused. “Is that all?”

His voice snaps her gaze away and she wishes the earth would open up and swallow her whole. How embarrassing to be caught not just once, but twice at checking out his body.

“That’s all,” she clears her throat once more then walks briskly to the door. “Um, thank you. Sorry.”

She rushes into her room, snapping the door closed behind her and touches her hands to her burning hot cheeks. The first thing she’d noticed about Ashton was how incredibly handsome he is, but she never thought of him without a shirt on. Now that she’s seen him—muscles, tattoos and all—that’s all she sees when she closes her eyes when she’s in bed.

The next morning, Ashton and Nadia arrive at the plane hangar just as the sun is starting to rise from the horizon. Nadia’s only flown on a plane a handful of times, but this is the first time she’ll be on a private jet. She’s still trying to figure out exactly what Ashton does; is he a CEO of some major company she’s never heard of? With all the security (there’s about half a dozen standing outside the plane) she almost wonders if he’s a Prince of some sort.

He motions her forward up the steps, she uses the railing to steady herself because without it she would fall to her knees in disbelief that she’s boarding a private plane. Once inside, it’s decorated the way she thought it would be in dark maroons, blacks and accents of gold. Ashton certainly has a desired taste.

“Pick any seat,” he tells her quietly.

Nadia moves a little bit more towards the back near the bathroom and sits down on the plush leather seat, her fingers rub over the fabric.

“My passport—”

“Is up with the Captain. You’ll get it just as we land,” he nods placing his phone on the seat across the aisle from her. He glances at her to see she’s sitting on her hands, legs shaking as she gazes out the plane window. “Are you nervous?” he moves to the seat across from her.

“A little,” she pulls her lip in her mouth, smiling bashfully. “I’m not too sure why.”

“If it’s your safety you’re concerned about, you’ll be well protected,” he leans forward resting his hand over her knee, “I promise.”

Nadia nods just as commotion from the front of the plane is heard, Calum and a strikingly beautiful woman with long dark hair held in a pony atop her head and skin to match board. Ashton removes his hand as Calum and the woman approach. The simple touch left Nadia’s knee burning, and she had to shift her mind from envisioning him in only his towel.

“Nadia, you remember Calum?” Ashton asks and Nadia stands from her seat, smiling to Calum. “And this is Asana, she’s one of my best specialists.”

“I’m the best,” Asana smiles then holds out her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Nadia.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Nadia shakes her hand, “What do you specialize in?”

“Weapons,” Asana answers simply, Ashton sucks in a breath that doesn’t go unnoticed by Nadia. “The company buys, sells and trades weapons and I know which ones are worth keeping or selling. I hear you’re a dancer. How’d that start?”

Asana sits in the seat Ashton recently occupied and Nadia sits back down in her own.

“I was four when I started dancing and I picked it up super easily. Dancing has always been a part of me, and I dance with the Chamber City Company,” Nadia explains.

“Do you have any shows coming up? I’d love to see you dance.”

“Sleeping Beauty will be premiering in a couple of weeks,” she says glancing quickly to Ashton who appears to be in deep conversation with Calum. “I’m the Lilac Fairy.”

“Oh, how pretty. When’s opening night? I want to be front and center.”

Nadia continues to answer Asana’s questions and asks a bit of her own as well. Asana has been with Ashton’s company for almost four years, she sought him out when she discovered his company is number one in the business. Nadia feels a comradeship with Asana instantly, she’s easy to talk to and is excited to learn more about her on this little trip.

Nadia tries to listen in on Ashton and Calum’s conversation about their meeting, but the only thing she hears is that it’s with someone named Guerriero. Eventually, as the flight continues and meals are had, she becomes sleepy and curls up against the seat.

When she wakes to use the bathroom, Ashton is still awake on his phone as she passes by his seat. Her stomach grumbles a little while she washes her hands, back home she’d be in Ashton’s office with a bowl of popcorn. Nadia returns to her seat to find a small bag of popcorn on her pillow accompanied by another blanket. She looks to Ashton who gives her a smile then pops his own piece of popcorn into his mouth, an opened bag sits in his lap.

“Thank you,” Nadia whispers with a smile and sits back in her seat pulling apart the bag.

“You’re welcome,” he whispers back, eyes crinkling and shining in the blue light of his phone.

“You should go to sleep.”

“I will soon, just a few more e-mails.”

Nadia sighs shaking her head but watches him silently as she eats her small bag of popcorn. After a few minutes, Ashton looks up at her.

“You should sleep, Nadia. I don’t want you to have jet lag.”

“You should, too, Ashton.” Her lips spread in a playful smile and Ashton chuckles.

“All right, fine. When we’re done with our popcorn, we’ll both go to sleep. I heard you’re going to be in a show, soon?” he pockets his phone in his suit jacket then picks up his popcorn bag.

“Yeah, opening night is in two weeks from today actually, or tomorrow depending where we are in the world.”

“Would it be all right if I came and watched?”

“I’d like that,” she nods watching the way his jaw muscle works as he chews. “Asana said she’d like to come as well.”

“Then I’m sure Calum would like a ticket,” he grins.

The popcorn is finished in comfortable silence, Nadia drifts off to sleep easily and Ashton stays awake a little longer but he’s not answering e-mails. He’s on the Chamber City Company’s website buying the whole front row of seats and a large bouquet of flowers to be sent to Nadia on opening night. He glances at her while she sleeps, her long brown hair cascading over her shoulder looking soft as silk. He wonders if she thinks about their post shower interaction as much as he does.

The first two days of staying at Ashton’s villa in Italy are spent sleeping on and off by Nadia due to the jetlag. Ashton secretly favored this because he knew she’d be safer in the house with Asana. He made sure a chef cooked her three meals a day while he was with Calum discussing terms with the Guerriero’s and that there was popcorn stocked.

On the third day, Asana finds Nadia out by the pool basking in the sun. She sits on the pool chair beside her frowning.

“What’s up?” Nadia asks.

“Do you want to go shopping? I know Ashton wants you to stay here so you’re safe, but you’re in Italy! There’s a club Ashton and Calum are going to that’s always a good time. Please, Nadia, you’re killing me being cooped up in this villa while we’re in Europe,” Asana urges.

Nadia laughs softly and considers Asana’s suggestion.

“I do want to explore a bit…will Ashton be mad?”

She has seen him beat up three men when they first met after all, but he never raised his voice at her, and how could he expect her to stay inside while in a beautiful country? She’s upset that she wasted the first two days sleeping off her jetlag but that couldn’t be helped. There’s a feeling in her stomach almost nagging at her not to do it but another voice in her head is telling her this is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity.

“What if he does get mad?”

“I’ll handle him,” Asana holds out her hand, “come take a walk on the wild side.”

The pair venture out exploring the city and shop in almost every boutique they walk past. Asana made sure she had some security with them and had her own weapons hidden very discreetly on her person. She can handle Ashton no problem, but she’s seen him furious and hopes that her extra thought to protection would ease him up a bit.

After their quick dinner of true pasta cuisine, they arrive back at the villa to see Ashton waiting for them at the front door. He disappears inside, Asana and Nadia exchange a look before trekking up the steps after him, shopping bags jostling against each other before setting them down on the floor.

“I thought we agreed you’d stay in the villa?” his voice is low and controlled. Nadia can hear the slight aggravation in it though.

“If it was while I was sleeping than that’s not fair, I wasn’t that coherent,” Nadia defends crossing her arms. “I wanted to see more of Italy than out of these windows.”

“She was perfectly—” Asana begins but Calum clears his throat from the stairs. He shakes his head then motions her to come join him. Asana sighs moving next to him and Nadia is alone in front of Ashton.

“It’s dangerous Nadia, and I need to know you’re safe here.”

“What was the point of me being here if I can’t leave? I’m not your prisoner.”

“The point,” he steps forward, his jaw set and his eyes dark. Nadia stands her ground but can understand how intimidating he is to everyone else. “Is that you don’t get hurt. It’s the last night and you’re going to stay here. End of discussion.”

He stalks away down the hall with Calum following him. Nadia turns to Asana who has an apologetic smile. Nadia lifts up her bags of new clothes, grabs Asana’s hand moving upstairs.

“We’re going to that club.”

Ashton is listening to Angelo Guierrero over the pulsating music of the club, his eyes gliding over the dancing bodies below. The VIP suite is filled with members of both mafia families and the drinks keep flowing as women keep interloping between the men in seats. At his vantage point he has perfect view of the entrance and his heart plummets into his stomach when he sees Nadia enter with Asana.

“I am glad we have uh…how you say, come to agreement,” Angelo continues holding out his gold ring covered hand.

“I am too, Angelo,” Ashton responds shaking the man’s hand, his eyes darting away quickly from Nadia. “Do you mind if we enjoy the rest of our evening? No more business talk, yeah?”

Angelo gives out a hearty laugh squeezing Ashton’s hand.

“Si, si! Divertitevi!”

Ashton rises from his armchair leaning on the railing as he watches Nadia press through the bodies. He’s torn between anger and amazement that she disobeyed him by coming here. She looks exquisite in a sparkly maroon dress, her cleavage shimmers in the strobe lights while she dances to the music which is ironically a remixed version of Sexy Chick. Her flowing brown hair falls over her shoulder in a long ponytail while her back is exposed from the dress, and Ashton sees a tattoo inked along her spine.

He’s hypnotized by her movements, her arms are thrown into the air as she dances, her body fluid as water. It makes him want to see her dance ballet desperately. Calum joins his side who sighs in disappointment observing the two women in the middle of the dance floor.

“Do you think Asana convinced her to come?” Calum asks.

“No,” Ashton murmurs watching Nadia move seductively to the beat. Her eyes glide up to meet his and she gives him a sly smile. “This was Nadia’s decision.”

The two men watch Nadia and Asana dance and drink together for a few more songs until Ashton can’t stand it anymore and moves to the stairs without a goodbye to Angelo. He wants to get Nadia out of here and back to villa where she can’t get into trouble. She’s already in trouble with him but he’s not quite sure if he’ll reprimand her yet as he pushes through the hot sweaty bodies.

As he approaches her, there’s a man that’s trying to pull Nadia against him to dance but she’s clearly trying to push him away. Asana is cornered by two other men, but Ashton knows she’ll have them on their asses in about thirty seconds. When Ashton finally approaches, he shoves the man away grabbing Nadia’s wrist and drags her out of the club.

“What is your problem?!” she shrieks trying to twist her free of his vice-like grip.

“I told you stay at the villa,” he responds through his teeth.

“For my protection, right? What exactly are you protecting me from?”

Ashton ignores her as she continues to resist and yell drunkenly at him until they’re to his car. Calum and Asana’s voices carry over to them when he opens the door, pushing her inside.

“I’m not a child,” she glowers at him.

“You’re sure acting like one,” he growls back.

“Sorry, sir,” she snarls clambering into the car.

Ashton sets his jaw then shuts the door in her face. He slides into the driver seat easily, waiting for Asana and Calum to join them in the car.

Once everyone is settled, he peels away from the curb zooming back to the villa. He glances at her in the rearview mirror, his anger dissipates each time he looks back. He tries not to let his eyes wander over her long legs, but he fails miserably. They look smooth as satin and he’s desperate for a touch, but he tightens his hand on the steering wheel.

Back at the villa, Nadia storms out of the car slamming the door harshly in her wake. Asana glares at Ashton and Calum before following her inside. Ashton doesn’t see either of them until it’s time to drive back to the jet the next afternoon. Nadia won’t look or speak to him.

Nadia’s opening night is in a few days and in between that time and coming back from Italy, she still hasn’t spoken to Ashton, she’s been very cold and distant. Ashton had decided to be the one to drive her to practice and to her ballet class she teaches. At one point she looked like she was about to say something when he told her that bit of news, but she remained tight lipped, nodded, and walked away to her room.

Thankfully, when she accompanied him to La Belle Vie she would join Asana at the bar and talk with her. The two have become incredibly close since their rendezvous in Italy. Nadia’s laughter always follows him as he greets other associates in the bar area before inviting them to his office.

Nadia watches him disappear through the secret door to his office, his hazel eyes meeting her warm brown. For a moment she forgets she’s upset with him, that he treated her like a child by dragging her from the club in such a manner and forcing her to stay inside like she was a grounded teenager. Then she remembers how little he made her feel and her bitterness is returned.

“He’s very protective of people he cares about,” Asana tries to reason.

“He didn’t yell at you and drag you out,” Nadia mutters.

“That’s because he knows I would kick his ass. Don’t worry, I got a mouthful from Calum,” she shakes her head then gulps down the rest of her dirty martini easily.

“What’s going on between you and Calum, anyway?” Nadia peers at her friend with a slight smirk.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Asana winks then pops her olive into her mouth. “Probably the same thing that’s going on between you and Ashton.”

It’s Nadia’s turn to blush.

She’s not entirely sure what’s going between her and Ashton. There’s no doubt some form of chemistry between them, but there’s so many secrets he’s keeping. She appreciates his protection but the way he treated her at the club was almost insulting. She’s not some fragile doll that will break.

The next morning, she speaks to Ashton for the first time telling him she’ll be at the studio late.

“What for?” he asks scrolling through his e-mails and drinking his coffee.

“I want to make sure I have all my variations down.”

“Opening night is tomorrow; won’t you be tired if you have to be at the theater by five?” his eyebrows raise, and Nadia is taken aback at his knowledge of her schedule.

“No, I won’t be. So, you don’t have to stay while I dance. I’ll call you when I’m finished.”

“I’ll stay. No need for me running around and leave you there unprotected.”

Nadia sighs in defeat, she knows fighting him on this will only end in his victory. She’s not nervous about the performance at all, she’s more nervous about having Ashton seeing her dance.

At five thirty on the dot, Ashton enters the dance studio where Nadia teaches the smaller students. He holds the door open for the dance moms and dads as their little one’s prance along the sidewalk. Nadia is cleaning up small ribbons from the floor when he notices her.

“Can you lock the door for me, please?” she asks, and Ashton complies. “There’s a small office through that door you can use. You don’t have to sit out here and be distracted.”

“All right, let me know when you’re ready to go.”

As soon as Ashton settles in the quaint office area and has his phone opened to his e-mails, orchestra music starts to play, and he looks out the window of the door to see Nadia dancing. She’s everything he’s pictured in his head but so much more. He can see the true power in her body as she moves fluidly, her muscles pronounced in her movements.

He loses the concept of time as he watches her glide across the floor, he’s transfixed by her and realizes how deep his attraction and care for her truly runs. He rises from his seat, opens the door and the music fills his ears. With careful steps he moves towards Nadia, her legs lifting high in the air as she moves closer and closer to him.

She comes to an abrupt stop right into his arms, gasping at him being there. Her fingers squeeze on his suit covered bicep while his hand braces her lower back, her brown eyes shift to meet his honey green tea colored ones.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, chest heaving from dancing. “Is the music too distracting?”

“No,” Ashton shakes his head pulling a stray strand of her hair from her lips. “You’re distracting, I haven’t gotten anything done since you started dancing.”

“I’m sorry,” she tries to push away from him, “we can go—”

“Not yet, I have something to do first.”

“What?”

In an instant, Ashton dips his head to kiss her and as soon as their lips touch an electric shock is exchanged. Nadia hadn’t realized how desperately she wanted to kiss him until now and now she doesn’t want to stop. She gasps on his mouth letting him guide the kiss how he wants, her stomach filled with butterflies.

The hand that’s not on her back slides up her thigh underneath the practice skirt she’s wearing giving her chills at his touch. Nadia rises on her toes and Ashton lifts her in the air, their lips still connected in passion. Her legs wrap around his waist, she can feel his strong muscles as he holds her.

Already wanting to be closer to him, she tries to work open the buttons on his shirt and Ashton halts their kiss settling her back down on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Stop apologizing,” he holds her jaw in his hand, his thumb brushing over her lower lip. “The reason I stopped is because what I want to do with you shouldn’t be done in an open window studio.” He feels her shiver at his hushed words, and he smirks. “Let’s go home.”

Ashton leads Nadia through the skyway hand in hand, the sun is just setting below the trees and they’re cast in a burning red glow. Her stomach twists in anticipation at what’s about to come as they enter his bedroom. Cloaked in red, he pushes her to the edge of his bed, his fingers lifting up her skintight shirt. She pushes off his suit jacket, eyes widening at the shiny gun secured to his stomach.

“Let me put this away,” he tells her covering the weapon with his hand, “and you take this off for me, hm?” his finger dips below the waistband of her skirt. His finger leaves her skin ablaze.

Eyes glued to each other, he watches her pull her skirt down and off her legs, followed by her leggings so she’s standing only in her bra and panties. Ashton groans slightly as she pulls her hair out from the low bun, it cascades over her breasts in dark waves. When he’s finished with the proper safety precautions with his gun, he locks it in his case. He stalks towards her, unbuttoning his shirt then tosses it to the floor. She looks so tempting in the red glow of the night, she’s the epitome of desire and he wants a taste.

“Can you take the rest off for me?” his eyes gesture to her bra and panties. Nadia’s quick to comply, the air of dominance in his voice is apparent yet not forceful. His questions always give her an option for an out if she wishes. She slips her bra off slowly, relishing in the way his eyes practically devour her before pulling down her panties. “Sit down.”

Again, she obeys then Ashton falls to his knees in front of her. He spreads her legs open so he can lean up and give her a burning kiss, his tongue swiping in her mouth. She kisses him back in excitement, hands sliding over his shoulders and into his hair. His fingers tickle up her thighs to her waist, he pulls his lips from hers and smiles as she chases for more of his kiss.

“I’m going to make you feel good, okay?” he pants, and she nods, her fingers tightening in his hair. “Lay down.” She lays back and he falls with her because of her hold on his hair but he leaves sucking kisses down her sternum to her lower stomach.

He lifts her legs so her feet rest on the end of the bed, his nose skims up her thigh then he transitions to the other thigh. He kisses on her pubic bone and Nadia sucks in a harsh breath. Ashton wraps his arms around her thighs, then flattens his tongue against her core in one long, slow stroke. Her body lurches from the contact. It makes Ashton smile glancing up at her as her eyes close when he stretches his tongue on her lips again.

He dips his tongue lower, teasing her entrance then adds his lips to finally get a full taste. Nadia gasps, her thighs tightening around his head. Ashton moves in quick motions, flicking his tongue against her clit then suctions his mouth on her, eating her out vigorously. She rotates her hips with his mouth, her moans sound quiet and restrained so Ashton pulls his mouth from her.

“Nadia, look at me,” he says kissing up her thigh lazily. Her eyes open heavily. “Don’t hold back. When you orgasm, you’re going to say ‘thank you’ after each one. Then I know you’re feeling good. Understand?” she nods, and he nips at her thigh which makes her yelp. “Tell me.”

“Under…I understand, sir,” she gulps breathless.

“Good girl, I love when you call me that,” he mutters lowering his face to her exposed core. He teases her by ghosting his mouth over her pussy lips, inhaling her in. “Taste better than I imagined,” he sighs then dives right back in. Nadia gasps, circling her hips with his mouth again, back arching as his tongue licks the right spot.

Her thighs quake as she comes on his mouth, he slurps at her excitedly tightening his fingers on her thighs until they relax but Ashton doesn’t let up.

“Thank you,” she sighs quietly.

He hums against her, his tongue circling her clit while he adds a finger inside her. The moan she makes causes the strain in his pants become noticeable, but he ignores it to please her more. He pumps his finger inside her easily, curling it then tickling her spongy wall as his tongue frantically licks.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he sighs.

She’s wriggling beneath him, thighs clenching once more and her orgasm leaks on his tongue and finger. This orgasm lasts slightly longer, her whimpering drives him crazy and he needs to be inside her. He slides his finger out, sucking her taste off him as he does, and her body deflates against the bed. Ashton wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, appreciating the way she looks coming down.

He removes his clothes quickly, slipping on a condom then lifts her up placing her in the middle of his bed. Nadia lifts her legs so he can slot himself in between her thighs, he kisses up her stomach, tongue swirling over her nipple then he hovers above her, his arms on either side of her head.

“You forgot something, angel,” he sighs kissing her neck. “What do you say?”

“Thank you,” she responds automatically. He smiles, happy with her quick submission to him. He drops his hips against hers, she lets out an impatient huff. “Please, Ashton…need you.”

Ashton plants his knees on the bed pushing her legs up farther, the head of his dick nudging inside and clipping her clit. Her nails are scratching up the sides of his back urging him further until he bottoms out then begins an even rhythm. Nadia’s fingers slope up his back, meeting his thrusts evenly then he kisses her. He pushes her legs even further to her elbows so he can pound into her with ease and power.

“A-ash,” she pants, nails digging into his back.

He fists the comforter as he tries to keep his release at bay, he’s concentrating on his breathing but it’s so hard when she’s clenching around him. Her nails add another sensation he’s never felt, it’s pulling the burn for her from the inside out.

“Thank you, oh…Ash,” she whimpers in his neck and he quickly pulls out, flipping her over onto her stomach with ease.

He roams his hands over her ass then to her hips, dragging her closer. He slides into her easily, picking up a quick pace of fucking her from behind. From this angle he can see the tattoo inked up her spine, he glides his fingers over the intricate looped design and the flower that rests between her shoulder blades. Nadia’s moans are consistent at this angle, he feels her multiple orgasms lubricating him up, so he’s slick with her juices making it easier to snap his hips against her.

She’s pushing herself onto him, aiding in her release while a quick succession of ‘thank yous’ tumble from her lips. Ashton’s climax is approaching fast, so he leans forward, propelling his pelvis in quick movements. His nose is in her hair, he’s intoxicated by her smell, her pussy clenching around him as he finally lets go. She’s moaning with his groans until he’s finished then remains there for a moment catching his breath.

With kisses to her shoulder and down her back, he pulls out then steps off the bed. He removes the condom tossing it quickly into his bathroom trash. Nadia is still slumped over, her ass in the air and he loves the sight. He gives her a moment, pulling on some shorts and grabs a shirt for her to sleep in.

“Hey, look at me pretty girl,” he coos gently, brushing her hair from her face. She stares at him with tired eyes. “Put this on, use the bathroom and come back to bed.”

Her movements are sluggish as she flips onto her back taking the shirt from him. He helps her pull it over her head and pulls her arms out. She takes his offered hands leading her to the bathroom. He closes the door for her privacy then lays on his bed, the sun has well gone down now but the city lights and moon fill his room with a dim radiance. That fiery red haze is gone but he still feels it in his bones.

Nadia shuffles slowly back to his bed after using the bathroom and he welcomes her into his arms, she snuggles against him as if they’ve been doing this for years instead of the first time. He kisses her hair and she sighs contentedly.

“Now I might be tired for opening night,” she teases and Ashton laughs. “You’ve never done this, have you?”

“Slept with a beautiful woman like you? No, not until now.”

“No—I mean, you’ve never brought someone back here to your own bed. It’s always been in your room at La Belle Vie.”

Ashton sighs. “No, I haven’t. How did you know about that?”

“I know about the Gold Room, why else would you have a bedroom in your office?”

His heart sinks. Does she think she’s just another notch in his belt?

“Nadia, I’ve grown to adore and care for you in a way I’ve never felt towards another person,” he admits, and it feels so good to say it out loud. “You’re very special to me.”

She tilts her head up, her hand finding his cheek in the dim light then drags his mouth to hers for a sweet kiss.

“You’re special to me, too. I’m glad no other woman has been in your bed but me.”

The next night for her opening night as the Lilac Fairy went by without a hitch. All of Ashton’s associates filled the front row seats that he bought with Calum and Asana to his left while Luke and Michael were on his right. His eyes never left Nadia as she danced across the stage. Her name was whispered amongst the people around him and he felt smug that he’s the only one who knows her so intimately.

An hour before the show, Calum told him that Aleks has been keeping a low profile. There haven’t been any purchases on his end or deals that have been scheduled. It left Ashton feeling unsettled because if he knows Aleks, he’s plotting something for sure.

It’s in the background of his mind to set up more eyes on the Rozhkov mansion but Nadia’s performance is on the foreground of his mind. He’s transfixed by her just as last night but the stage lights and the make-up she’s wearing exemplifies her beauty. When the show is over, he plans on taking her to Caesar’s Palace, the most notorious restaurant in the city, after congratulating her in her dressing room on a job well done.

***

Five forty-five on the dot, Nadia breezes into his office with a radiant smile that grows bigger at the sight of the garment bag hanging from his fingers. Ashton grins back welcoming her into his free arm giving her a hello kiss that she deepens, hands roaming over his shoulders and into his hair.

“What’s the matter?” she sighs pulling away feeling how tense he is under her touch. “Did your meeting not go well?”

Ashton clenches his jaw. “It went good and bad, but we have to go to The King’s Club at eight o’clock, Liam’s requested us.”

“Oh, all right,” she shrugs then eyes the dress bag hanging off his fingers. “Can I see my dress?”

“I thought you don’t want to be seen as a sugar baby, angel,” he teases extending his arm away from her grabby fingers. “I can always send it back if you don’t want it.”

“No, please I want to see,” she pouts.

“How about you take it in the bedroom and put it on for me then let me know what you think,” he smiles handing her the bag.

She squeals quietly, snatching the bag the same time she pecks his lips then skirts to his bedroom but keeps the door open. Ashton shakes his head knowing she’s doing that to torment him, but he resists temptation and waits patiently. When he hears her gasp, he knows she’s opened the bag.

“What do you think?” he calls crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s gorgeous!”

He smiles then continues to wait patiently for her to change and grace him with her presence. It’s not long until she’s strutting out in the tight-fitting iridescent dress. It’s two toned with gold and silver fabric with the gold wrapping asymmetrically over the silver and Nadia looks like a bombshell. The colors contrast beautifully with her tanned skin and the plunging neckline showcases her perfect breasts.

“This is perfect, I love it,” her eyes dance with excitement as she parades in front of him.

“You sure? I didn’t know if this area right here would fit you,” he trails his finger down the middle of her ample cleavage, a smirk ghosts his lips.

“Seems like you didn’t really want it to fit,” she giggles then pulls his arms off his chest. “How can I ever thank you for this?” Her hands move to his belt already undoing the buckle and snatching his zipper, falling to her knees.

“Seems like you already have an idea,” he grins enjoying the view of her breasts even more at this angle.

“Just a little thought,” she shrugs shucking his trousers off his hips. She takes him in her palm, he’s hot and heavy in her hand and she gives the head of his dick the gentlest kiss, but it spurs his member to life. She continues to give him soft, wet kisses, looking up at him with innocent eyes.

Ashton strokes his fingers across her cheek trying to keep his breathing even. “Don’t tease me, angel,” he sighs just as she darts her tongue over his slit. “Fuck, baby.”

He watches her open her mouth, eyes still on him, as she takes him in. Her tongue and lips are soft and warm around him as she swirls her tongue up and over his shaft. She works him over, salivating the more she takes him into her mouth until he hits the back of her throat for the smallest second before she tightens her lips on his shaft and pulls off him with a pop. A string of spit clings to her lips and Ashton is aching to be in her mouth again.

“So pretty like this,” he sighs as she wraps her lips around his head again. This time she sucks him into her mouth as she goes down, slightly gagging as he hits the back of her throat once more before she pulls off again. Ashton threads his fingers in her hair, halting her from moving forward. “Don’t strain yourself for me, okay?”

“I want to make you feel good, sir,” she blinks and Ashton groans. She knows what calling him does that to him.

“You always make me feel good. Don’t hurt yourself, Nadia. Keep going,” he nods.

Nadia smiles excitedly latching her puckered lips over his tip, her hand grasping the base that is now slick with her spit. Her hand and mouth work in tandem, sliding up and down effortlessly slurping as she goes. Ashton steadies his breathing keeping his climax at bay so he can enjoy his Nadia this way. His fingers are still in her hair but he’s giving her full control of the situation.

She takes him all the way to the back of her throat for a third time, her tongue clicking against him. The pulsation has his stomach clenching and he’s so close.

“C’mere,” he says gruffly pulling her off him. He spins her around, so she’s seated at the edge of his desk and hooks her leg over his waist sinking into her swiftly. He fucks into her with quick snaps of his hips, groaning against her neck.

She gasps in time with his thrusts, arms and legs wrapping around him like a vine as he fills her with the utmost pleasure. Ashton bites into her neck, sucking on the warm flesh until she’s screaming his name and they’re coming together. He stills inside her as he releases himself dry and her legs fall limp against the desk.

Ashton hums pulling his mouth from her neck that now has a dark bloom flourishing from his love bite. He cradles her cheeks in his hands, nudges his nose against hers then kisses her with a smile. He pulls out of her slowly, Nadia groaning as he does.

“See? Felt so good,” he sighs, “what do you say?”

“Thank you,” she whispers on his lips, legs trembling from the loss of his girth. He tucks himself back into his pants as she leans against him, still coming down from their shared pleasure.

Ashton makes sure she’s stable against the desk before retrieving a towel from the sink along his wall. He wets it then makes his way over to her again to clean between her legs. He kisses her bare shoulder as he does, her hand rests on his shoulder for balance.

“Good thing you didn’t have panties on,” he commends on the corner of her mouth. He tosses the towel on his desk, rubbing his palm on her inner thigh.

“I planned it,” she smiles.

When their dinner date is over Ashton speeds to The King’s Club, his hand on Nadia’s knee as he drives to the destination. He’s second guessing gifting her with this dress because now all eyes will be on her. He holds her hand as they walk past the black velvet ropes and two bouncers that he recognized from his past. They let him in easily and others inside guided him and Nadia to the second floor where Liam is waiting on a white couch. Veronica is next to him looking bored.

To Ashton’s surprise, Calum and Asana are sitting on chairs beside him. Nadia smiles at them tugging a preserved Ashton over to them, his eyes are on Liam who is smiling widely.

“You made it!” he announces rising from his couch. “Last minute I invited Calum and Asana who just finished informing me that you two had dinner plans. I hope I didn’t cut into that.”

“Just a little,” Ashton responds tersely. Nadia squeezes his hand.

“It’s no trouble,” she speaks up.

Liam steps forward grabbing her elbow and kisses her cheek affectionately in greeting. “I’m glad you could make it. Please, take a seat, take a seat. What would you like to drink?”

When the acquired drinks are served, Ashton watches Liam very closely as he interacts with Nadia. He’s somehow pulled her next to him on the couch with his arm thrown casually behind her shoulders. He’s telling her about how he and Ashton bonded over the loss of their fathers and all the wild things they got into.

Ashton watches on high alert, his drink held carelessly in his fingers. He feels smug when Liam notices the love mark on Nadia’s neck. Calum and Asana’s gazes are set on their boss wondering how he is so calm while Liam is so close to Nadia. Ashton assesses the situation with a tight jaw but Nadia’s constant smiles at him lets him know she’s fine.

Calum and Asana are getting restless. Then when Liam laughs loudly at something Nadia said, his hand falls to her knee, Ashton slams his drink on the glass table.

“I think it’s time for us to use the bathroom,” Asana says grabbing Nadia’s hand. “We’ll be back gentleman.” She throws a look between Ashton and Liam tugging Nadia along.

Ashton gives Asana a look of gratitude and appreciates Nadia’s hand cupping his chin as she walks by. Her simple touch eased his irritation slightly. He knows she’ll be safe with Asana but nods his head to the guards that accompanied him here and they followed the girls. Liam watches the small party leave to the VIP bathroom then moves to sit on the table in front of Ashton. Calum leans forward wanting to be a part of the conversation.

“What are we doing here, Liam?” Ashton asks bored, he wants to get Nadia home and away from Liam.

“I know Aleks wants to get Nadia,” Liam starts. “Veronica found that out for me and I think we should let her take him.”

In a light of blinding rage, Ashton launches at Liam, his fist connecting with flesh as the sound of glasses shatter to the table and floor. Shouts of surprise are heard all around and Calum pulls on Ashton’s shoulders yanking him off before he could do worse damage.

“Not with Nadia here,” Calum hisses and that’s what really stops Ashton. Liam rubs his jaw where Ashton hit him, but he doesn’t seem surprised that he was hit.

“Listen to me,” Liam growls standing close to Ashton. Calum tightens his hold on Ashton’s arms. “I have the best trackers with the best equipment. We give Nadia a tracker and follow her to wherever Aleks is.”

“I don’t want her involved in any of this.”

“What have you been telling her all this time? You’ve been lying to her for how long, Ashton? She needs to know the life she’s wrapped up in and that she’s the key to stop it. I’ve seen the reputation you’ve built here and Aleks has been threatening that since Nadia has come into your life. She needs to know.”

“Tanya knew and look what happened,” Ashton blurts before he really thinks of his words.

Liam’s eyes flash and he rushes at Ashton. They’re both scuffling on the floor of the suite while others try to get the men away from each other. Calum shouts them away though because they need to solve their differences in their own way. There’s so much history and discord between the old friends it needs to be hashed out. He won’t let it get too ugly and he hopes Asana is keeping Nadia occupied in the bathroom while the situation plays out.

After a tiresome ten minutes, Liam and Ashton are left panting on the floor. Their suits are ruffled, their hair tousled, and their knuckles bruised but their five years of hurt and anger have finally come forth.

“Nadia is safer not knowing,” Ashton sighs standing to his feet. He holds his hand out to Liam who takes it as help. “I’m so sorry about what happened to Tanya. I wanted to tell you five years ago but you left before I could even try and help you.”

“I know…but my whole world ended that day. I had to get out. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“How is letting her get taken going to keep her safe? You know what Aleks wants to do before he sends her off to this anonymous dealer?”

“She will be safe because Veronica is a double agent. She’s been getting into Aleks’ good graces for over a year.”

Veronica appears beside Liam and hands him a napkin to clean the blood from his face. He takes it graciously.

“Then why don’t you lead him to wherever Aleks is?” Ashton asks her. “Why does Nadia need to be the pawn?”

“Aleks is all about his power trip. He has to believe he’s the one in control right now because whoever this anonymous dealer is, has him scared,” Veronica explains. “He’s on a time crunch and if he doesn’t deliver, he’ll be killed. He won’t hurt her because we won’t give him the time to.”

Ashton glances between Liam and Veronica, Calum calls his name. Ashton turns and Calum waves his fingers signaling Ashton to follow him to the railing.

“Excuse me,” Ashton says then meets Calum.

“How can we trust Veronica? Or Liam, actually,” Calum asks glancing at the pair.

“Liam may have left but he’s never lied to me.”

“It’s been five years, Ashton. You of all people should be questioning if he’s not really working for Aleks. For all we know, he could be.”

“Tanya was the whole reason he walked away from this, and if…if Nadia knew what I do, and she asked me to leave…I wouldn’t question it. I’d leave this all behind.”

“So, you’re seriously considering having her taken, just like that?” Calum is baffled at his friend, his boss, giving in so quickly and releasing Nadia to the lion’s den.

“No, not just like that. I want every detail. I know Liam left, but he came back and is offering to help. Family is family, Cal, you know this.”

Calum eyes Liam and Veronica some more than stares at Ashton for a long time. Nadia is going to have a field day at the state he’s in wondering what the hell happened while she was in the bathroom.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Calum shakes his head surveying the situation.

Then the club cracks into darkness and a deafening silence, screams echo throughout the building and Ashton quickly races blindly to the bathrooms. Any sign of trouble and his mind reverts to Nadia. He stumbles with Calum and Liam trying to find their way blindly. The sound of two gunshots and more screams fill the air then he hears Asana’s voice calling for Nadia. Ashton panics, his heart racing.

The three men skid to a stop as the lights power back on, the club fills with the loud bassline as he looks in front of him. Asana is on the floor with a cut on her cheek, Calum is quick to aid her by standing up. He touches her cut cheek delicately.

“What happened?” Ashton asks. “Where’s Nadia?”

“We were coming back out; I was hit and fell to the floor just as the lights went out. I heard Nadia struggling then two shots…” Asana shakes her head looking in the direction Nadia must have left in.

“Veronica—”

“He knows. He knows I knew his plan and he executed it early,” Veronica gasps. “Liam, I swear he told me in confidence it was supposed to be on her opening night.”

“Where is she?” Ashton demands, his fingers shaking because his Nadia was taken right from under his nose.

***

It took Veronica a few hours to pinpoint exactly where Aleks was which resulted in giving him a few hours head start to run with Nadia. Asana didn’t know if the gunshots meant Nadia was harmed or not and it left Ashton uneasy not knowing. She could be hurt or dying and he’s not with her to help.

Aleks took her to Spain which is where Ashton is now killing the few men keeping guard outside an elaborate mansion. He races inside with Veronica’s voice in his ear telling him where to go.

On his way, he takes out more men until he’s in the elevator descending into the basement. He made sure Asana and Calum stayed outside for visuals and had an ambulance and the police on standby. The basement is dimly lit with shelves along the walls filled with bottles of wine. The guards standing inside didn’t even approach him as he stepped inside, they simply watched him pass by.

“You’re right on him, Ashton,” Veronica says in his ear but Aleks isn’t in sight.

“You’ve always been too trusting, Ashton. I knew it would be your downfall.”

Ashton stops dead in his tracks. Stepping into the light from behind a large wine barrel, is his father, Frank Irwin. He smiles cynically.

“Hello, son.”

“What the hell are you doing here? Where’s Aleks?” Ashton is baffled to be looking at his father who left him nearly eight years ago. His hair has thinned and has a few more wrinkles on his face.

“With Nadia, I’m assuming. He was meant to bring her to me like we agreed,” Frank responds moving in front of the barrel. He folds his hands in front of his stomach, Ashton can see the family crest ring is still on his finger.

“It’s you? You’re the anonymous dealer?” Ashton feels like he’s going to throw up from this information.

“Yes, and Nadia is very lovely, isn’t she?”

“Where the hell is she?” Ashton is shouting now advancing to his father. The guards in the room step forward but Frank holds up his hands.

“It’s all right, gentleman. I need to explain to my son here how Nadia is teaching him to be the best boss. Nadia, dear, please come out.”

In horror, Ashton sees Nadia stumble from a closet or room of some sort. In the short amount of time they’ve been apart, her hair has been chopped off to just below her chin. Her beautiful hair that she’s always cherished, and he’s ran his fingers through so many times, is gone. Her face is pale with chapped lips, bruises and cuts are scattered all over her body as the dress he bought her is ripped.

He’s torn between his love and the need to protect her and his anger in realizing she’s been working with his father. His anger wills out and roars inside him.

“Ashton…” she sniffs, tears spilling over her cheeks. “What—”

“Is it true?” he interrupts, voice shaking. “You’ve been working with my father to get to me?”

“What? Ashton, I don’t know who he is—”

“He’s right there!” Ashton shouts pointing to his father. Nadia jumps. “You’ve been fucking with me this whole time under his order, haven’t you? Tell me the truth, Nadia.” He advances towards her, his voice dangerous, and Nadia is visibly shaking at his outburst. He’s never spoken to her like this before.

“Ash…please, believe me. I love you; I would never hurt you and I’ve never met him before in my life.” She’s sobbing, reaching for him but then gasps as a loud bang echoes, and she’s clutching her stomach. Beneath her hands, red blooms in the fabric of her dress.

As if in slow motion, Ashton turns to see Aleks with his gun poised at her from another doorway. Then Liam appears in the elevator and kills Aleks quickly. He’s finally avenged Tanya and his unborn child. Aleks is dead before he hits the ground then the guards jump into action. Ashton and Liam are quick to fend them off, either by injuring them or using their guns until they’re all slumped to the ground.

“Asht—”

Ashton turns around from his most recent casualty in time to see Nadia collapse in a small heap. Frank is laughing behind her.

“She’s right, son. We’ve never met but I arranged for you two to meet. I’ve been a guiding voice in the now late Aleks Rozhkov’s head to egg you on to be a better boss. I thought the continuous chase of her wanting to be taken would flip a switch in you.”

Ashton’s mind is racing with questions and doubts.

“Ash…” Nadia whispers from the floor. Her warm brown eyes are half-lidded as she stares up at him. “Please, I love—”

He knelt beside her immediately because his need to protect her is stronger than his doubts. He helps apply pressure to her wound, and through her blood, he sees the two small condor tattoos on the outside of her wrist, and he’s transported to another time.

“I love this tattoo of yours,” Nadia told him as her fingers daintily traced over the dark ink on his neck. He was in his study at home writing figures down on a pad of paper. “I read that condors mate for life.”

“Is that so?” he asked and pulled her onto his lap. That’s when he noticed the all too familiar looking bandage on her wrist. “What’s this?”

“I got my own birds on me,” she smiled. “I love you, Ashton and I wanted to match this one you have.”

“If I’m a condor bird, then you’re a condor bird, huh?” he grinned taking her hand in his delicately.

“Something like that,” she giggled. “Take it off so you can see.”

Ashton carefully peeled the tape and gauze from her wrist to reveal two birds in flight. One is larger than the other which he’s assuming is meant to be him, and he’s so enamored by the gesture.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s perfect,” he nodded then met her brown eyes. “I love you, so much. You are my soulmate, Nadia.”

He’s kissed those small birds so many times since then and he feels downright idiotic and gullible to believe that she would double cross him. He is too trusting, and he was much too trusting of his father who was never trustworthy in the first place. His trust really is his downfall and it might cost his whole world.

He knows Nadia would never hurt him, and these two birds are proof of that whereas his father has been hurting him his whole life. Nadia’s eyes begin to close and Ashton panics.

“Liam!”

Liam runs to him quickly, sliding on the floor and int the small pool of blood that’s coming from Nadia.

“Shit,” Liam mutters.

“Get her upstairs and to Asana. I’m going to deal with my father.”

Liam rips off the sleeve of his shirt pressing it into the wound. Nadia grunts at the pain trying to keep her eyes open. Ashton touches her cheek the best he can without smearing her own blood on her face.

“I’m sor—”

“Shh, shh, you’re going to be okay. Liam’s going to help and make you better, okay? I’ll see you soon, stay awake for me.”

Liam lifts her carefully into his arms, murmuring a soft “I’ve got you love.” He gives Ashton a look before leaving the basement quickly and then it’s just Ashton and his father.

“How could you do this to me? Is this some kind of sick training session you’ve been instigating for the last eight years?” Ashton asks.

“I’ll admit, I did leave because I would have been stuck in jail well past my dying days. Then I wanted to use this opportunity to build you up to be the best boss there could be. I kept tabs on you, Ashton. You were doing everything right from partying, having women but you were lacking in one major role: being a boss. My leaving was really a chance for you to be great.”

“You left to save yourself. When you were around it was never a family. We protect our own and after you left we finally became a real family,” Ashton says.

“You’ve befriended the authorities and other families that we’ve always held an animosity with. They should all be beneath you.”

“No, we’re equals. I’ve helped with other dangerous mobs in the area and we keep the cities safe instead of stealing from it.”

“You’re abusing your power.”

“I’m utilizing it. There’s a big difference. You’ve hurt a lot of people Frank, me especially and you won’t do that anymore. Your little puppet, Aleks, is now dead and we’ll take down the rest of his Snatchers and whoever else follows him. But your time is over,” Ashton says reaching for his gun.

Frank laughs again.

“Is all of this really because of that girl? You can have hundreds of women, son, that’s the glory of being in this business! You take what you want when you want it.”

“No, that’s not how this business works. It may have been for you, but not me. I won’t leave my men or women behind. I have their back and they have mine.” Ashton raises his gun and clicks it; it’s aimed right at Frank’s head.

“I can keep teaching you to be better, how to be feared. You’ll really kill your own father?”

“I never had a father.”

He pulls the trigger and Ashton turns not even willing to spare his father another glance. He knows he’s dead, he has an excellent kill shot but he couldn’t look at the man who’s hurt him for so many years. He trudges to the elevator, eyes glued to the blood smear on the button as he ascends up. Ashton thought it hurt when he left but the fact that he used Nadia to try and hurt him? Nadia, the one person who loves him so completely and….

Ashton slams his palm against the elevator wall in anger. She’s been loving a liar this whole time because he’s kept so many secrets from her. Her blood on his hands is the last he’ll ever have, it’s because of him she’s hurt when he’s fought so long to prevent that from happening.

His mind is still reeling as he steps outside of the house in the blazing sun. An ambulance is parked near the cars he and the rest travelled in. Police sirens are heard from the distance, but Ashton needs to see Nadia. He finds her in the back of the ambulance with an EMT working on her wound and Asana holding her hand. There’s an oxygen mask over her mouth but she’s more alert, her hand slips from Asana’s and she reaches for him, eyes wide.

Ashton and Asana switch places quickly, he kisses Nadia’s hand fiercely, keeping it pressed to his lips.

“I’m so sorry, Nadia. This is all my fault, but no one will hurt you now. I swear it. It’s time I’ve come clean to you,” he confesses.

She winces as the EMT continues to stitch her up, her lips move beneath the mask, but he doesn’t hear her words.

“What?”

“She already knows, Ash,” Asana says from the doors of the ambulance. Nadia nods at him.

“She knows? How?”

“She figured it out months ago. The Sheriff stopped by when she was home alone once and wanted her to relay a message of thanks to you for taking out the LeBlanc’s. Hotchkiss assumed she knew everything and kept talking, giving her all the information she needed,” Asana continues to explain but he’s watching Nadia as if she’s speaking. Her eyes are soft at her admittance through Asana.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?” he asks, and Nadia pulls the mask down slightly so she could speak.

“Because all you’ve ever done is protect me and part of that was not telling me what you do. I was protecting your secret just the same because I love you.” Her voice is soft and quiet.

“And Asana knew this whole time?” he asks bleakly but his smile is of relief.

“She filled in the gaps. I made her swear not to tell,” Nadia whispers.

“I’m sorry I kept these secrets from you.”

“I know, but it’s okay,” she sighs falling deeper into her pillow.

“We are going to transport to the hospital,” the EMT says, “she needs rest.”

Ashton nods then turns to Asana but doesn’t quite know what to say.

“We’ll meet you there and take care of everything else here,” Asana nods. “You take care of her, boss man.”

The doors close and the ambulance rocks as it starts to move. Ashton presses his lips to the birds on Nadia’s wrist, she cups his cheek as tightly as she can. His world fell apart and has been restored by having her in his life.

“I love you so much, angel,” he whispers squeezing her hand. In her eyes she sees the same love reflected back. Their past, present and future are held between their gazes. “You’ve always been the beauty to my madness.”

• • • •

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willowbird · 4 years ago

Note

Prompts open? Bet maybe foxes(and Andrew) slowly finding out how fucked up Neil’s mom was to him?(I get it was to survive but it was still abuse)

Since this one got kinda... Uh... Long... And answered both of these prompts I decided to combine them!! I didn't include a separate one for Andrew because he's present for a couple of them and by the time I reached the end it was like 6600 words and an Andrew POV would probably add another 2000 because I'm me and I always get carried away with Andrew POV.

If you’d rather read this on AO3 you can do so here.

4 times the Foxes found out how fucked up Mary was to Neil, and the 1 time Neil actually admitted it

ONE - ALLISON

Allison had been taking Neil shopping, which in itself wasn't really a weird occurrence. Allison would take any of her teammates shopping if that's what needed to happen to get them to stop looking like a dirty hobo. As it happened, Neil was just the worst offender and so she pestered him about it more often than not. It was remarkable how the guy could be dating the Monster and still look like that. Not that Andrew Minyard was a fashion icon or anything, but the miniature psychopath at least understood the concept of aesthetic and made sure the people around him wore things that actually fit.

Well, most of the people around him.

Point being, Neil needed a bit of extra help, and Allison was more than happy to supply it. So she'd taken to dragging him out shopping with her once a week. It was basically therapy - and fuck if that boy didn't need some of that.

(But Allison wasn't going to say that in front of Neil or he'd probably get hives…)

Usually, the shopping trips all went about the same. Allison would drag Neil along, Neil would acquiesce until he got hungry, then he'd get bitchy and after Allison fed him he'd calm the fuck down enough to try on more things before refusing to get anything. On a very rare occasion she would get him to accept a shirt or a new pair of pants. His weakness was shoes, but she tries not to exploit that too often.

Today, however, was different - because today Allison caught Neil's eyes catching on a particular hoodie. If it had been just once she would have passed it off, but this was at least the fourth time Neil had sought it out in the whole ten minutes they'd been in the narrow clothing store and his eyes didn't just catch, they lingered. Which meant that Neil was interested, that he liked something. This was a breakthrough! Especially since the hoodie was new and had color, rather than the drab shit he was always wearing. It was a very pretty cerulean blue with black stitching and was of a less bulky design than the other two Neil owned (one of which was the Foxes one she'd never seen him wear off-campus). In the proper size it would fit his frame nicely, she could tell just by looking at it, and she was low-key impressed that something with general style had been the thing to catch his eye.

Allison grinned and nudged him. "Hey, just grab it. You could use a new hoodie."

Neil's attention snapped to her and Allison wasn't prepared for the flash of instinctive panic that raked through his eyes. "No, I didn't- I don't-" He raised his hands apologetically, which was weird, then seemed to catch himself and dropped them immediately. Allison could see him struggling not to look over at the sweatshirt and for the life of her she didn't understand why. But now she needed to know.

She gave him a look. "Uh, yes you did, and you do. What's the big deal? So what, you like it. Get it." She shrugged, hoping nonchalance would encourage him to stop being a weirdo about it.

"Nah," Neil said with a shrug. "It's fine. I've got hoodies."

Allison thought about letting it go, she really did, but she was too curious. But she also knew that the more she seemed to care about the answer she was prodding for, the less likely Neil was going to give it. So she pretended to look at some of the surrounding clothing without really registering what she was shuffling through. "You act like you've never bought something just because you wanted it before," she said with her usual level of scathing judgement.

"It was too dangerous," came Neil's distracted response. When Allison peaked over at him, her hand freezing on the shoulder of a sweater, about to slide it down the rack, she saw that he was looking at the hoodie again, studying it with a too-careful blankness she was beginning to recognize as Neil-in-memory.

"Getting something you wanted was too dangerous?" It was harder this time to keep her tone casual but she managed it well enough that Neil didn't fully snap out of his thoughts, wherever they were.

He shrugged. "It was distracting. If you had things you cared about you'd lose sight of survival, or make stupid mistakes."

Allison just stared at him. "You weren't allowed to have things you wanted… because they'd be distracting? Neil that's really fucked up."

Neil looked over at her and grimaced, pulling away from the hoodie. "Whatever, it's not a big deal. Come on, are you done shopping yet?"

For another moment Allison stared, then she stalked forward and violently grabbed the hoodie from the rack, ignoring Neil's startled protests.

"No," she said, pointing at him with her free hand. "You aren't some kid on the run anymore and you don't have to follow your mom's fucked up rules. If you want something, you're going to get it, damn it." If Neil tried to protest again she didn't see it because she'd already whirled around to head up toward the checkout.

Fuck you, Mary.

TWO - DAN

Team Night was something Dan instated right after finals last year. One night a week they all got dinner after practice. The whole team had to be there for at least part of the time. Sometimes they got along, sometimes they fought like half-crazed rabbis raccoons, but they were all together in a situation that wasn't about exy (no matter how many times Kevin or Neil brought it up). If there was anything Dan had learned over her years as Team Captain, it was that they would always operate better on the court if they could also work together off of it.

Tonight they'd gone out to dinner with the whole team before splitting off into various groups back at the dorms. Renee had gone off with Allison and Nicky while Aaron had left right from the restaurant to meet up with Katelyn. The freshmen had split into their own groups - they were still working out their hierarchy among themselves and Dan knew by now that she just had to let it happen - which had left her and Matt and, surprisingly enough, Neil and Andrew. She hadn't really expected the other two to accept her invitation to join them in Matt's room for a movie, but when she's offered Neil had easily agreed and Andrew hadn't protested.

A part of her had still expected Andrew to peel off and go back to his own dorm once they'd returned to Fox Tower, but the reticent goalkeeper had followed them all into the room with no complaint.

"All right!" Matt announced with a grin once the door was shut and locked behind them, crossing to where he kept the booze. "Power Couple Movie Night! Whatcha guys want? Babe?"

Dan chuckled and rolled her eyes affectionately. "You're ridiculous and I love you. I'll have a whisky sour." She looked to Andrew and Neil. "What about you guys? He just stocked up so there's a bit of everything."

"Babe, you're making me sound like an alcoholic."

Dan dismissed the complaint with a wave of her hand and smiled over at the other two.

"Whisky straight." That was Andrew.

Neil just shrugged. "I don't need anything," he said.

"Do you have Dr. Pepper?" Andrew asked, apparently not done.

Matt nodded, lifting a mostly-full two-liter for him to see and setting it on the surface of the cabinet.

"He'll have that with amaretto."

"Andrew."

"Neil."

Dan tried not to be too obvious about how closely she was watching them. It wasn't even a 'how could they be together?' thing. It was just that… Neil was this big mystery, and Andrew was also a big mystery. And now they were together and that just made the mystery balloon exponentially. The two of them fit together in a way that was somehow both surprising and like nothing in the world could make more sense. They had a whole language together of looks and gestures, of silent understandings that the rest of them couldn't even begin to interpret. In a way, this was just like any other couple. Even now, Dan shot a glance over at Matt and they shared a look of their own before resuming their subtle observations of the other couple. Somehow it was different with Andrew and Neil though. Somehow it seemed… heavier. It was fascinating and also kinda unsettling, which only made Dan want to figure it out even more.

After an extended silence where Neil and Andrew had some indecipherable conversation with their eyes alone, Neil sighed, apparently conceding defeat, and nodded agreement to his boyfriend's drink order.

"All right! Neilio is drinking with us tonight!" Matt pumped a fist into the air, shattering the residual tension with his enthusiasm. Dan had probably never loved anyone so much in her life.

Neil smirked his own affection for the big lug and flopped onto the couch, Andrew following with less flourish but a level of relaxed comfort that made Dan's heart soar. It was really happening. Andrew was letting himself trust them, letting himself be a part of the team, letting himself be… one of their friends.

Matt finished making their drinks and brought them over on a serving tray he had been a little bit too excited to buy.

Neil took his drink and cautiously sniffed it, wrinkling his nose. "It smells sweet," he complained.

"You have two choices when it comes to liquor, Josten. It either tastes sweet or it tastes like alcohol." Andrew was entirely unsympathetic, though his gaze remained focused on Neil even as he sipped his whisky. Apparently, this was some either-or that Neil was willing to concede to because he sighed and sipped the drink. After a moment he hummed and took another sip. Another sip turned into a second drink as the four of them collectively decided to skip the movie and instead hang out and talk about the worst movies they'd ever seen. Andrew, surprisingly, had a lot to contribute - as he had apparently seen a lot of movies and had Opinions about all of them. It was very weird and kinda surreal, but also made Dan feel almost giddy.

"Well shit, Neil, if it was just a matter of you not liking the taste of alcohol we'd have stocked up on wine coolers ages ago," Matt said as he handed Neil his third glass later on in the night. He grinned and perched on the armrest of her chair. Dan smiled up at him when he put his arm around her, leaning against him and sipping her own drink as she turned her attention back to the other couple.

The other couple. Well, that was weird.

"Nah, I still wouldn't have had anything," Neil said after another, fuller drink. He leaned back, comfortable. Dan noticed that he and Andrew weren't touching but there was still a weird intimacy with their proximity. It hurt her brain to think about so she didn't focus on it overmuch. Then Neil said, "Mom only brought out the alcohol when I needed to be stitched up," and Dan froze with her drink halfway back up to her mouth. Neil didn't seem to notice, looking into his cup as he continued. "No hospitals, you know, and when I was a kid I always cried a lot and was really loud about it unless I was too drunk to feel anything at all."

And when I was a kid I always cried a lot and was really loud unless I was too drunk to feel anything at all.

When I was a kid…

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Dan peripherally noticed that she wasn't the only one who had gone still. It was so rare for Neil to say anything about his time before he joined the Foxes. It was even more rare for him to bring up his mother - especially in such a… disturbingly revealing way.

Matt was the one to break the silence. "When you say you were a kid you mean…?" There was a false lightness in his voice, like he was trying not to alert Neil to how much he was revealing. Andrew cut him a glare but then looked to Neil without interrupting.

Neil shrugged, swirling his glass lightly, apparently fascinated with the ice as it clinked gently against the sides of the glass. He poked at them with his mixing straw. "Mm, Lola scared me, y'know? I didn't want her to stitch me up. So I begged mum. Dad would hurt her too if she couldn't keep me quiet. I tried, but being noisy was always a problem for me. 's how I usually got in trouble anyhow. Or by not being still enough. Or dropping knives." Neil shivered, his free hand rubbing against a spot on his abdomen like he was worrying away at a memory, some phantom ache from a past that he could never quiet escape from.

Andrew, apparently, had decided this was enough. He reached forward and pulled the glass from Neil's hand with a gentleness that shouldn't surprise Dan anymore. He set the glass on the table and stood, then tugged Neil up with him. He didn't let go of the striker's hand even when he got the other man standing. Once he was sure the other would be steady he glanced over at them with a dark, steady threat in his eyes. "We are leaving now."

A sound beside her alerted Dan to the beginning of Matt's protest and she elbowed him before he could complete it. In its place, she gave a strained smile and nodded. "Of course. You guys are probably tired. See you tomorrow!"

Neil raised his hand in a small wave but he still seemed a little lost, his expression closed, his mind somewhere else.

When the door closed behind them, Matt stood up and walked over to lock it, then he stood there for a moment before turning to face her. His expression was dark and angry and echoed the storm stirring in his own heart.

"Neil went on the run when he was ten."

It might have seemed a random statement, but Dan was following the same line of thought and she nodded. They'd known that Neil's dad was a bastard, knew he'd been hurt by him and his people when they'd been on the run and it wasn't a far toss to infer that he'd been hurt earlier too. But this confirmation was blood-chilling. Mary's part in it was not comforting.

"She did nothing, Dan. She did nothing. She let him get hurt and then she got him drunk as a little fucking kid to stitch him up again. I know it was a fucked up situation, and I'm sure it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows for her but fuck Dan. Fuck."

Dan nodded, setting down her drink and rising from the chair so she could go to Matt. She knew that she only had a surface understanding of the situation. She couldn't imagine what Mary might have gone through herself, but she couldn't find enough compassion in her heart to make excuses for her. Maybe that made her heartless, she didn't fucking care. What she cared about was that Mary let her own son be hurt badly enough that he needed to get drunk and get stitched up over and over again, before and after they went on the run. What she cared about was that Mary hurt her son over and over herself in order to control him, to keep him under her thumb. Maybe she did it because that's how she thought she was protecting him but intentions meant shit.

Lesser evils were still evil.

There are always choices, always options, and Mary's choices had traumatized Neil just as much as the Butcher's had. Maybe Neil had complicated feelings about his mother but Dan didn't. She had a very clear opinion, actually.

Fuck you, Mary.

THREE - MATT

"Okay so, but why Andrew?" Matt didn't mean anything negative with the question, but he flipped a hand in apology when Neil glared over at him. "I didn't mean it that way. I mean like -- is your type short, blond, and stabby or…?"

"I don't have a type. I don't swing."

Well that made no sense.

"Except for Andrew," Matt clarified, reminding Neil that he was self-admittedly committed to the Monster.

Neil nodded without hesitation. "Except for Andrew," he agreed.

"Right… but… why? Why only Andrew? Didn't you ever like… like other guys, or girls?" Matt studied his best friend, desperate to understand him. He wasn't even being anti-Andrew about this, he was just trying to learn more about Neil and this integral part of him. Neil said he didn't swing, and then of all people to fall for - he falls for Andrew. Matt had thought that maybe Neil had been shy about admitting he was gay or something, but Neil was pretty confident about the whole not-swinging thing. Matt got that there were other sexualities out there, but the idea of just… not wanting anything just didn't make sense to him.

He was surprised when Neil actually said -- "Sure, yeah, when I was like, fourteen or whatever. I wouldn't say I liked anyone, but I noticed girls."

Matt blinked and looked over at him, letting the game controller rest on his lap. "Wait, you did?"

Neil shrugged. "Yeah, but it wasn't allowed so…"

"It wasn't�� allowed?" Matt frowned, lost.

"My mom knew they'd be a distraction, that it was too dangerous for me to fall for someone. I don't think it occurred to her that I might like a guy, so when she realized I was noticing girls she made sure I didn't anymore."

Matt was silent for a long moment, letting the implication of that sink in. "When you said she 'made sure' you didn't notice girls…?"

Neil shrugged. "I was stupid. Just telling me wasn't going to do anything." But his friend's casual nonchalance was gone and Matt watched as the other man withdrew into himself. His expression closed down and he scratched his nails through his hair, against his scalp in an anxious tick Matt was pretty sure Neil didn't even realize he did.

A flare of rage heated his lungs and it took concentrated effort to swallow it down. He could imagine what Mary might have done to her son to drill the lesson home.

"That's really fucked up, Neil."

Neil just shrugged, then nodded at the tv. "Are you gonna play or what?" Matt could see that his friend didn't want to talk about it so he let it go, but he wasn't going to forget it.

"Yeah. How about you order some pizza or something? I'm getting fucking hungry." A bit of the tension broke and Neil flashed him a small smile before pushing off the couch to go get his phone to make the order. Matt watched him go and took another breath to make sure his anger was packed away for later.

Fuck you, Mary.

FOUR - NICKY

Christmas! Nicky was so fucking excited about Christmas this year. Not only would Erik be coming into town, but the whole family would be there! Well, the family that mattered anyway. Aaron was bringing Katelyn, Andrew would be there and participating, and Neil was staying with them for the entirety of winter break. It was going to be amazing!!

Already, in the few days since school had let out, Nicky had set about Christmas-ifying the whole house and it was looking amazing if he did say so himself, which he did.

Today was going to be particularly exciting because he had managed to get Neil to agree to go Christmas shopping with him. Erik would be arriving tomorrow morning and Nicky still hadn't gotten his present. Or Aaron's. Or Andrew's. Or Neil's… He'd gotten Katelyn's though! He'd seen an absolutely gorgeous sweater at the mall the other week in just her color so he'd swiped it up. Point being, he had some catching up to do and he suspected that Neil was also behind on his Christmas shopping.

This was confirmed shortly after they arrived at the mall and Nicky asked Neil what he'd gotten for Andrew.

Neil blinked at him, like he was caught off guard by the question.

"I don't think we're getting each other anything," he said, looking downright confused.

"Oh. Oh Neil. Oh Neil no. No, you are definitely getting gifts for each other. You're a couple!"

Neil looked vaguely uncomfortable as he shrugged, but he didn't deny the label and Nicky counted that as progress. "I don't think we're the gift-giving kind…"

Clearly, Neil hadn't been paying attention to the fact that Andrew had been gifting Neil at every fucking opportunity since they'd met. Clothes, keys, food, drinks, more clothes, a phone. At first, Nicky had just thought it was Andrew being possessive in the way he was possessive of all the people he'd decided we're his. It wasn't until after the two had come clean about their relationship (relationship!!!) that Nicky had thought back and realized that Andrew wasn't half as generous with the rest of them. Honestly, Nicky was a bit embarrassed for not noticing it all sooner. This whole time, Nicky thought he was being cryptic when he was just being really, really gay. For shame.

"Mm, well," Nicky hedged, feeling pity for the poor blind idiot. At least he was cute. "You're wrong, but we won't get into it. Just trust me when I say that Andrew has definitely gotten you something." Probably multiple things, actually, but Nicky didn't want to shock the poor cute dummy. "And you can't tell me that you don't want to give him a gift." Nicky stopped, frowning at Neil in disapproval.

"It's not that," Neil admitted, and Nicky wasn't sure he'd ever seen the younger man look more awkward.

"Then what is it. Come on, kid, tell Uncle Nicky."

Neil made a face. "Only if you never say that again."

Nicky laughed, though he realized Neil had a point. That might have been a bit much. "Deal. So what is it?"

Neil shrugged, fidgeting in a restless way that Nicky recognized as one of Neil's tells when he was uncertain or nervous. Neil was someone who needed to be in motion, someone who needed to do things. Nicky related to that, heavily, so he linked his arm through Neil's and tugged him into walking again. The motion seemed to help, and after a few minutes, Neil finally spoke up.

"I've never really done the whole Christmas or birthday thing. Especially not since me and my mom, you know…" He drifted off vaguely, gesturing with one hand like that's was supposed to indicate all the time he and his mom were running from his psycho dad and his evil butcher-buddy minions. Nicky nodded like it had and Neil continued. "It just feels… weird, you know. Like it's a thing that real people do. They go to school and they have holidays with families that don't want to kill them or each other. They buy each other presents that they don't need and that's… normal. But it just doesn't make sense to me."

There was a lot to unpack there, but Nicky's mind caught on the first thing Neil had said and it kept replaying over and over on his head like a skipping record.

Like it's a thing that real people do.

Like Neil wasn't… real.

Nicky stopped walking again, his heart clenching suddenly in his chest. "Wait, hold on. Rewind. Neil, you realize that you are a real person, right?"

Tension wiped Neil's face into an awful blankness and normally Nicky would let it go. He'd make a joke and try and get them back to something lighter, but this was… something was just so wrong about that and he couldn't ignore it.

"Neil," he implored, hands on both the younger man's shoulders, gripping tightly, willing him to open up to him.

Maybe it was a testament to the season of sharing, or maybe it was proof that he and Neil had come a long way since those first few months over a year ago, but for whatever reason, Neil didn't brush him off and he didn't pull away. Instead, he sighed and gave a small shrug, shuffling his feet as he apparently searched for the right words like they were hidden between his shoelaces.

"I didn't feel real for a long time, you know. I couldn't be. Mom was the one who made all the identities for me, the one who chose the names and the covers. She was the one who created everything about the boys I was supposed to be, down to their interests in school and outside of it, just in case someone asked me when she wasn't around. She'd test me on them. I studied those boys with more dedication than I studied for my classes when I was actually in school."

Nicky frowned, confused. "What about your interests and what you were like."

Neil shrugged. "I didn't have any. I wasn't like anything, unless you can count fear as a personality trait."

That… didn't make sense. Neil was saying words, and individually, Nicky knew what they meant, but his brain was struggling to comprehend exactly what they meant when put together in that order.

"But… that's not possible. What about when you saw something you liked, or wanted, or did something that you just… enjoyed. A tv show or, fuck, math. You like math right? That's a part of your personality." He heard the desperation in his own voice but he was too distracted by the conundrum of Neil's 'I wasn't a real person's reveal that he didn't even care to attempt to rein it in.

"Not until I got to Palmetto," Neil admitted. "I didn't have to take a math class my senior year because my forged transcripts already had the required number of classes to graduate and it seemed conspicuous to take more than that. Your average teenager doesn't like math."

"But you thought about it, right? When you were signing up for classes, you thought about adding math, then actively chose not to." A picture of understanding was beginning to form and Nicky felt a little bit sick with what it showed.

Neil frowned, like he was thinking about it, then gave a small nod of reluctant agreement.

"So… there was something you liked, something that was you and you just, what, instinctively went 'No, bad idea'. Why?"

"It's what my mom would have done," was Neil's instant, confident reply. He hadn't even had to think about that one. Then, to Nicky's horror, he elaborated with, "Mom was a stickler on that kind of stuff. If I liked something, if I felt pulled to anything, it was dangerous and bad. I learned quickly enough to avoid anything that interested me so it wouldn't distract me. Surviving was what was important."

Yeah. Yeah Nicky definitely felt a bit sick now.

"When you say that you 'learned quickly enough'...?" Nicky wasn't sure he actually wanted to know, but that didn't stop him from asking the question.

"Mom--" Neil actively stopped himself this time. "It isn't important. Look… are we going to go shopping or what?"

Nicky wasn't willing to let it go. "Neil. Did she… like, hurt you? For having interests?"

Now Neil looked more than just a little uncomfortable, and the way he didn't meet Nicky's eyes was all the answer he needed. Nicky wanted to hug Neil just then, but he managed, at the last second, to hold himself back. He'd probably pushed harder than he should have already and he was trying to be better about boundaries. Instead he squeezes his shoulders and then pulled his hands away.

"Well, come on. Let's finish shopping. I'll help you pick out something for Andrew if you aren't sure what to get him."

Neil looked so visibly relieved that Nicky's heart broke. "Ah, yeah… thanks Nicky." The small smile he shot him was enough that Nicky forgot the boundary thing and just hugged him. Ugh, that poor kid. No wonder he was so confused whenever anyone was kind to him if his own mother had treated him like he wasn't even a real person to the point where Neil had legitimately started to believe it. Nicky had his issues with his parents, all the Foxes did -- it was part of what made them Foxes -- but this was kind of another level.

Nicky kept his arm around Neil's shoulders as he lead the younger man off to shop, now determined to make this the best fucking Christmas ever. Because Neil was a real fucking person and he deserved that frivolous normalcy. He deserved to like things and to want things.

Fuck you, Mary.

+1 - AARON

Aaron didn't usually care about whatever was happening in Josten's weird little brain. It wasn't a place he was eager to explore, to be perfectly fucking honest, and he was unfortunate enough to be subjected with the assshole's proximity often enough as it was. However, it was hard to ignore the man when he was having a literal mental breakdown right in front of him. He wished he could. He wished he could turn around and walk away, shut the door, and go back to not caring. Unfortunately, parallels had just been drawn that he couldn't unsee and now turning his back on Neil almost felt personal. It was incredibly uncomfortable and for a long moment Aaron just sat there, silent, in the wake of what just happened.

It had gone like this:

Andrew and Neil had been on separate ends of the couch doing homework. Nicky and Kevin were still sleeping off the trip to Eden's Twilight last night, and Aaron was slowly letting himself wake up to a hot cup of coffee and some random show on tv. Then that random show had transitioned into some kind of true crime show that had dragged everyone's attention to the screen with a single word.

Wesninski.

As it turned out, the show wasn't actually about the Wesninskis, but rather about crime in Europe. The Wesninski mention was due to the current segment on the Hatfords, a British crime syndicate -- the one Neil's mother hailed from. It was her picture on the screen when their collective attention all snapped to the screen, and the tension in the room suddenly increased tenfold.

Mothers were a bit of a complicated topic for everyone in the room. It was also probably the one thing that Andrew was unwilling to touch with a ten-foot pole, not even for Neil - and Aaron was long since past denying that those two had something going on far deeper than sexual tension and a disdain for ninety percent of humanity.

So the room had frozen, holding a breath with a shared lung. Then Andrew had stood, moving to snatch up the remote so he could turn off the TV when Neil said, "No."

Aaron had never seen Andrew stop so fast in his life. His twin's face remained blank, but there was a darkness in his eyes that Aaron was queasily familiar with. It was a cruel, angry darkness and he didn't envy Neil for being the subject of it as Andrew turned his gaze on the striker.

"If you want to cry over that bitch I am not going to stick around to suffer it." The words came out low and hissed and even Aaron could hear the sharp rage beneath the forced facade of indifference Andrew was attempting to keep in place.

Neil looked like he wanted to hit Andrew but he managed to keep his response to a sharp, venomous, "Fuck you."

Andrew held the remote up to eye level then dropped it. It landed hard enough on the table that it bounced off, the back popping off and the batteries scattering. Then he was striding out the front door. Aaron expected it to slam, but somehow the gentle click of it just under the murmur of the crime show was just as finite.

It was like getting to watch a moment he'd lived over and over again over the course of years from the outside for the first time. In fact, it wasn't like that - that's what it was. Something anxious and sick curled in the pit of his stomach as Aaron looked from the closed door to Neil's tense, shaken form. He hated this. He hated sympathising with Neil. He hated understanding Andrew's anger. He hated not being able to pick a side. Aaron had heard enough about Mary Hatford to know that she was just as fucked up as Nathan Wesninski, dragging her son around, forcing him into isolation, beating him, fucking him over socially for his whole damn life when she probably could have just saved them both by either going straight to the FBI or calling up her own crime family. He knew that Neil didn't blame his mom when he probably should. He knew he made excuses, that he grieved for her. He knew he missed her and he also knew that it was really, supremely fucked up.

He also knew that he was just as guilty for the unworthy idolization of an abuser. It had taken him years to get to the point where he was willing to admit that, though. It was meeting Katelyn that had him finally looking at his past with a sobering dose of reality. It was only after months of wrestling with himself that he'd finally been able to accept the truth. Months of Katelyn's steadfast support, months of sessions with Bee beyond the joint sessions with Andrew, months of introspection that left him mentally and emotionally wrung dry -- and Tilda hadn't had half the physical and emotional ammo that Mary Hatford had probably levied against her young son.

Aaron watched Neil vibrate in place, watched his hands curl and his throat work, watched the pain and the rage and the grief flash through his eyes even as he tried to swallow it all down. He watched Neil, but he saw himself, and it was more than disconcerting.

He didn't make the conscious decision to speak before he said, "I get it." In fact, he almost didn't realize he had spoken until Neil snapped his attention over to him like he'd forgotten he was still in the room at all.

Neil didn't respond, probably too caught up with the war in his own head to form words -- a rarity for the loud-mouthed striker.

"She was all you had," Aaron said, and he wasn't sure if he was actually talking to Neil, or talking to the version of himself that still clung to the corner of his memories, desperate to validate the only person that might have loved him, the one person that should have loved him, when he needed it the most. "She was all you had, and that's what kept you going. Not her rules and not whatever it was that she did to make sure you survived. That it was her and you, that you had each other, and that that meant something. She'd do whatever it took to protect you, she was the only one who would do that, and it was everything, right?"

He could tell by the widening of Neil's eyes that he'd hit the nail on the head. He didn't look away as he continued with his truths, knowing he was probably the only person that had ever vocalized an understanding -- that he was probably the only person who could understand.

"And then she was gone. And it wasn't only her that died. It was everything that she was supposed to be. She died, and all you had left were the 'almost's and 'not enough's and the 'never again's. And if you let yourself believe that she was just as bad then everything was for nothing. All the times you cared. All the times you tried. All the times you did everything you could to be what she expected of you. None of it would matter, because she was gone, and she could never redeem herself, and it was all pointless." Aaron heard his voice like someone else was speaking. It was too calm, too quiet, too knowing. It didn't feel the desert in his chest, scorching and dry and far too exposed. He saw Neil's reaction like he was looking in a mirror and it was more than a little bit unsettling. He understood the flash of anger in his eyes, the stubborn refusal in the set of his jaw, then the reluctant acceptance when his shoulders dropped. Aaron hated understanding anything about Neil Josten. He hated even more that it was this that they had to share. Something so raw, so close to home it had a permanent home inside his chest, nestled between his lungs. It wasn't fair.

Then again, he was a Fox for a reason he guessed. Life just wasn't fucking fair to a Fox.

Neil looked away, then deflated against his corner of the couch. He tilted his head back and Aaron saw his throat work as he fought emotions neither of them wanted Aaron to be a witness to. Aaron averted his eyes. He only looked up again when Neil spoke. The other man's voice was quiet but steady.

"The one thing she harped on most, more than anything else, was how attachments to anyone or anything other than my own survival were going to get me killed. Even to her. She told me so many times to run, leave her behind, but I… I never could. She never left me behind, even when there were times when I wanted her to. She'd probably be rolling in her grave if she could see me now…" Neil's voice drifted off as his gaze locked on the front door over Aaron's shoulder. Aaron didn't need to be psychic to know that he was thinking specifically about Andrew, about how much he'd risked for Andrew - not just to be with him, but also to protect him. Going to Evermore, allowing Nathan's men to take him quietly… yeah, Mary probably wouldn't be too happy about that, and not in the caring, not wanting Neil hurt way. She'd be pissed that Neil cared about something so much to take that risk, after all she'd done to try and beat that ability out of him.

"She was trying to make me soulless," Neil said without taking his eyes away from the door. "She hated it so much whenever I showed any glimmer of a personality. Whenever I was anything other than a possession she kept and controlled. My mother loved me, in her own way…" His mouth tensed, pursed, then he looked at Aaron.

For a moment, the two of them just looked at each other, a shared understanding between them.

"That's not enough," Aaron finally said.

Neil looked down, then up, meeting his eyes. "No," he agreed, "it's not."

On the tv, the show was still talking about the Hatfords. Not all that much time had actually passed since the segment started. Neil looked at the tv, then stood and gathered up the scattered pieces of the remote. He put it back together and spared one more glance at the screen, which now showed a picture of the Hatford family at some event when Mary and her brothers were teenagers. Then he lifted the remote and resolutely changed the channel.

"I'm going to take the car to pick up some food, you want anything?" Neil asked as he moved to get his shoes, then take his keys from the hook near the door.

Aaron snorted. "No. I'll order something if I get hungry." There was still some time until he'd want lunch, but he knew this dance by now. Neil and Andrew would drive off together. If he wanted food he was better off taking it into his own hands. It was entirely likely the other two wouldn't be back until closer to dinner.

Neil nodded once, then was out the door. Aaron watched him go, then sighed and turned back to his coffee, considering it.

He didn't like sharing something with Neil fucking Josten. It was annoying and uncomfortable. But all the same… he understood. And like it or not, they were tied together now. Maybe he wasn't ready to say 'fuck you' to the memory of his own mother, and Neil definitely wasn't ready to do the same regarding Mary Hatford, but they could acknowledge the similarities in their stories and that was a start -- for both of them.

Aaron sighed and closed his eyes. He pointedly didn't think about his own mother and instead let himself eagerly latch onto the other man's sympathetic demon as he thought, with vehemence, 'Fuck you, Mary.'

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thekidultlife · 7 years ago

Text

Decadence by Design | The8 Victorian AU

Words: 3626

Genre: Smut with a plot

(A/N: This one is connected to the DK fic Saffron; they’re basically in the same company but this is the darker side of that company lmao Are you guys interested in reading about the other members stories as well? Let us know pls! )

(Just a bit of warning, not every detail in this fic is accurate, sometimes I do it to fit the story but I always try to be as historically correct as possible.)

February 1896

Buenos Aires, Argentina

The pub was unexpectedly filled with lively people tonight as barrels of whiskey and tequila are being consumed by the minute. Men were singing and hollering with ear-knocking noise as hired dancers swayed their bodies sensually according to the strums of the guitar. Yet by the corners of the pub, illuminated only by incandescent bulbs, lie a much quieter spot for those who wish to drink Cuervos in silence. And also for those who wish for secrecy.

“Anything about Lee Chocolates…?”

Despite the dim lighting provided by a poor flickering light bulb, it was easy to discern that the man was stocky, tall and had an unkept beard as he kept on asking in pure Argentinian Spanish. You, on the other hand faced him with your face concealed in a tan colored scarf and as equally suspicious-looking as the other people in that part of the pub. You were glad that there weren’t people near your table—just two other customers who seemed to be minding their own business.

What you didn’t know was that the young Asian man sitting one table away wanted to laugh at your unguardedness. Ever since your conversation began, his ears were trained on your table as he pretended to watch the ice in his glass of brandy melt. If Soonyoung was there to ask what his opinion was, he would’ve told the other guy that he was getting utterly bored. Not because he was just watching his ice until it melts, rather it was because the chase was getting dull.

He saw you lean on closer to your client and whispered. “I heard they’re making a new line using chocolates from Cote D’Ivore.”

Ah yes. The eldest of the young masters had settled in Cote D’Ivore to develop new recipes and cultivate specialty cacaos in the area—well that was what Soonyoung had told him since he was the one in charge for protecting the young master Jihoon and he’d better warn him so that these shady people would never step a foot on Cote D’Ivore.

“You’d have to be more specific than that or you won’t get anything,” the rough voice of the man had woken the Asian man back to the task at hand and heard you replying next.

“I know. Don’t be so impatient,” you said with a glare and threw a kraft colored envelope on the table. “Here’s the map. Now give me the payment.”

Though it wasn’t the best work, it had given you the best income—information-selling, that is. However, you don’t sell just any other information; you were selling information about the international chocolate business. Now that Lee Chocolates had begun revamping its decades long operations, it was one of your bestselling info yet.

You took the small packet handed out to you within seconds and stood up since you had another client right after that. The Asian man waited for the stocky guy to leave before he also stood up and left his table with a grin.

Xu Minghao is out for hunting.

April 1895

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Minghao didn’t expect coffee to look like red berries.

As a person hailed from Fengtian, China, he was more familiar with tea and though he has heard of coffee being imported from Arabia, he has never seen the actual plant. However, as the bodyguard of the youngest Lee sibling, the job offered him the opportunity to learn a lot about chocolates and the ingredients that goes with it.

“Alright, let’s go Minghao!” Chan’s lively voice had him turn around from where he was standing—observing the lush coffee fields before him.

“Has young master sealed the deal already?” he asked as the young man grinned at him and placed an arm over his bodyguard’s shoulder. Even though Minghao was basically Chan’s servant, Chan treated him like he was his best friend.

“It was a great deal! Jihoon would love an additional ingredient to play with,” Chan replied enthusiastically and patted Minghao on the back. “Come on, let’s visit the market and see what they have there!”

Chan’s job in particular was to source out ingredients to make new chocolates with and it was always a dangerous task to take. There were a lot of competitors in the chocolate market and everyone wants to get ahead of the other even if it meant taking the less moral route. Minghao was there to alleviate that sort of problem in Chan’s mind, so he can travel worry-free. Chan has no idea how his bodyguard doubles as an agent in taking down those who leak information about Lee chocolates.

And that was what he was doing that night in a damp alleyway pretending to be beggar.

You were coming down the alley as silently as you could, covered in a long dark trench coat despite the rather humid weather. It was the first time Minghao had seen you physically but knew what you looked like because of the photograph provided by the family’s chief of security Choi Seungcheol and he had finally confirmed that the photo didn’t do you justice by how you seemed like a femme fatale in real life.

“Here’s the recipe for Blended Varietal Truffles with Amaretto,” your voice had his attention back to you again and silently waited for the reply of the person on the other side of the wall which was beyond Minghao’s view.

“Are you sure this is the one by Lee Chocolates?” a man with British accent asked and you nodded.

“You don’t trust me?” you replied but the British man scoffed at you and handed an envelope Minghao assumed was cold cash.

“You better hand me another recipe in six months,” the man demanded.

“Then pay up higher. The company’s being stricter now and it’s getting harder to obtain these things,” you replied with a scowl on your face. “The second Lee son is now managing the company and they have a complete arsenal of countermeasures.”

September 1895

Zurich, Switzerland

Chan had finally finished dealing with the orange liquor suppliers under Jihoon’s request and while Chan was busy with his skiing, Minghao was hanging out at the other part of the resort, eating a frankfurter as he casually eavesdropped once more to your conversation.

“They’re now expanding to exotic recipes, but I got you their truffle machine designs,” you said in a low voice as you handed over a folder.

Minghao had his eyebrows raised at how you were so talented at getting those sort of information. He was sure Yoon Jeonghan, the head for factory management wouldn’t be so happy.

“Good. Here’s the money,” the German replied and handed over his payment which you instantly secured inside your coat.

November 1895

Constantinople, Ottoman Empire

Travelling was one of the many benefits of being Lee Chan’s bodyguard and personal assistant and Minghao could actually decide where they’ll go next since there really wasn’t any system of choosing in the first place. So since he was tracking you down, they went to Constantinople—a place Chan has never set afoot before.

“Wow. Do you see this, Minghao? These are pistachios!” Chan exclaimed excitedly as he handed out a fistful. Minghao took one and saw that it had an beige colored shell with a green nut resting loosely in the inside.

“Go on! Taste it!” Chan urged his rather hesitant bodyguard so he simply removed the shell and place the green nut back on Minghao’s palms. “It tastes great, you know!”

Minghao warily placed it in his mouth and chewed it slowly—savoring the rather distinctive nutty flavor. Nodding his head, Chan grinned at him and continued talking about the pistachio.

“You know, I’ve always been searching for Middle Eastern pistachios! The ones cultivated in the Americas die off easily so we can’t use them as ingredients,” Chan said as he popped another one into his mouth. “Plus, they’re extremely hard to ship since they go on fire so suddenly.”

“They do? Why?” Minghao asked as Chan offered him another handful.

“Dunno. Researchers are still figuring it out,” Chan remarked as he shrugged nonchalantly. “But we better find a way how to get these things into our cargo.”

Later that afternoon, Minghao was enjoying himself with a bag of pistachios as he watched you yet again leak confidential company information. Well, it’s not like it’s not taken care of. There are members of the security department of Lee Chocolates that takes care of the people who bought the information from you and Minghao wasn’t part of it so he simply focused on his job.

“I finally got where they source their macadamia supplies,” you said, sitting on a park bench with an older woman sitting behind you who was smoking.

Oh no. Chan wouldn’t like that. Minghao pondered as he chewed on another nut and saw the smoking woman take a piece of paper which you slid down and gave you your sum of money.

“Excellent. We’re counting on you with the new specialty cacaos,” the woman replied and then stalked off the park as dusk loomed over the streets. Minghao popped the last pistachio in his mouth and went back to the hotel where Chan was deciding which country to go next.

February 1896

Buenos Aires, Argentina

You were actually getting late to an appointment with a client tonight who actually asked for a sampler of the latest pistachio-coffee creation which wasn’t even released on the market yet. You always commended how good the people working in Lee Chocolates are with how they found the ingredients, how they make the recipes, how they market it, how they manage everything so efficiently and how they hide their secrets so well these days. Honestly speaking, you were actually running low on information to sell and was starting to think of switching to another company to infiltrate.

Entering an expensive hotel, you wondered if your client was filthy rich but you only stayed in that state of wondering since the client never gave out his identity, just a place to meet up. You climb the stairs in a hurry and in your coat lie the box of chocolates you were supposed to give. Arriving in front of the designated room, you knocked after taking deep breaths.

“Come in,” a voice answered from behind the door and you walked right in, making sure to lock the door so there wouldn’t be any disturbances.

The room was just like the interior of the hotel—classical European with brown wallpapered walls, light pink sconces and elegant armature made from Argentinian wood. They looked expensive but what looked more expensive was the Asian man with dark brown hair and a tiny smirk on his lips lounging casually on the comfy king sized bed. He was looking at you deviously as soon as you entered the room with his stylish black coat, white button up, and dark wool trousers.

“You’re late,” he said to you in perfect Argentinian Spanish with his rather distinctive voice.

You walked forwards and placed the box of chocolates beside him on the bed in a loud plop. You weren’t really interested in keeping the meet up longer than a few minutes so you simply did your part of the agreement and it was time to do his.

He eyed the box and then back to you—throwing off a knowing smirk. “How can I be sure if you delivered me the right one?”

You raised your brows at him. “You’d better trust me.”

“Or else what?” Minghao grinned and gently opened the wooden box with his deft fingers. “Trust doesn’t grow on trees, love.”

You didn’t reply, instead, you watched him take one of the dome-shaped truffles inside the felt lined box and prodded it on his lips enticingly, gazing at you as if saying, “Would you want a bite?”

Taking a deep breath to forcibly remove yourself from his spellbinding eyes, you shrugged and looked at the porcelain lamp glowing dimly on the nightstand. Minghao was chuckling at your disoriented state and popped everything inside his mouth.

“See? It’s the real deal. It was so hard to get them, so pay up!” you demanded as you hung your coat over your arm yet the man seemed to be taking things leisurely.

“Patience, dear,” he replied, grabbing another piece and stood up. You were surprised how tall he was as he stood before you but what was more surprising was how close he was to your face.

Taking advantage of your shock, he tilted your chin up to meet his eyes and nudged the piece of chocolate to your lips like what he did earlier. He was gazing at you intensely that you were sure you’re gonna melt faster than the truffle on your lips. Unable to resist, you took a small bite out of the chocolate and savored its coffee goodness with the nutty flavor of the pistachio bits.

“It’s delicious, don’t you think?” Minghao suddenly said in a low husky voice which made your stomach go up and down. “Would you let me take a bite too?”

You weren’t given the opportunity to produce a reply, instead, you felt his lips on yours as he swiftly slid his tongue in your mouth, relishing the decadent taste of the chocolate. The suddenness of the situation had stunned you to complete submission and you weren’t able to fight back with how dominant he was holding your waist, pushing you flush against him.

The chocolate had long melted inside your mouth yet Minghao continued to kiss you oh-so-sensually, forgetting about it and simply enjoying how you taste. He had long wanted to do this; probably ever since he had seen your photograph and now, here you were moaning between his arms. It was so good. So, so good. Yet at the same time decadent by nature.

He removed himself from your lips and began attacking your neck—leaving dark marks here and there—but Minghao didn’t care if you’ll see them in the morning. It was a proof of your sin.

“No…wait…” you tried to control the situation but the young man continued nibbling on your skin as if he hadn’t heard you.

“You’re a bad liar,” he whispered against a darkening splotch of skin as you allowed his hands to travel between your legs, noticing how wet you were becoming. “Such a bad, bad liar.”

In your rational mind, you wanted to stop. You don’t just go sleeping with random men who looked utterly delectable as his soft lips suckled on your pulse point, making you groan in pleasure. Yet, you can’t deny it. The man was handsome with his dark hair disheveled by your fingers pulling at them, as he removed your scarf and blouse off of you, as well as your traveling shorts—leaving you on your undergarments which Minghao removed so easily. You were glad you decided not to wear such heavy dresses tonight or you’ll take forever to undress.

Minghao led you to the bed and had you lying on the soft pillows as he hovered above you. You never noticed when he began removing his clothes but now, you saw him only with his black trousers on. Relishing at the sight of his defined muscles, you were yet again mesmerized as the haze of lust clouded your mind. Minghao was looking at you with a grin as he explored your body with his hands.

“Chocolates are well known aphrodisiacs, you know,” muttered close to your ear as he littered more truffles on your chest and stomach.

Your rising body heat and his warm tongue was beginning to melt the chocolates as he kissed and licked your sensitive nipples—ravishing at how the slickness of the liquid chocolate felt on your skin as he groped your breasts. As soon as he was done licking the chocolates off of you, he once again crashed his lips onto yours which had you tasting the remaining chocolate on his tongue.

Breaking off the kiss, you felt him move lower until he began kissing your inner thighs. You were already soaked from the erotic food play from earlier and it just simply made it easier for Minghao to draw slow circles on your clit—turning you into a whimpering mess. Without warning, he slid his a finger into your dripping core that had your back arching in sheer pleasure; moaning out anything you could say. Eventually, he inserted another digit into, then another as you continued to grab on the white sheets until your knuckles were white.

“Please…I’m…close…” you muttered between breathy rasps, begging for him to continue and as soon as Minghao had heard your words, he curled his fingers to reach your sweet spot, making you give out a choked cry.

However, when you were merely a few pumps away from climaxing, the young man had stopped with a low chuckle rumbling from his chest.

“No…please…please…” you whined when he took his fingers out of you and had you suck on them which you gratefully did—swirling your tongue and tasting your juices on his fingers.

“Naughty girls don’t get to come, love. Now come over here and suck me,” he ordered you with so much authority in his voice that you had no choice but to obey obediently.

He was kneeling in front of you with pants open and his cock out of the confined restraints of his underwear as you crawled towards him. But before you could do anything, he prodded your mouth open with his thumb and placed a piece of truffle on your tongue; his eyes glinting in mischievousness as he looked at you below him.

You caught his idea and gradually slipped his cock between your lips. Your tongue twirled around the head as the chocolate began melting in your mouth as he fisted your hair, controlling your movements. Your hand then made its way to the base of his member and pumped the remaining length you couldn’t fit.

Minghao groaned at the sight of you bobbing your head up and down his shaft as the dark stains of chocolate remained on his skin. And when you stared into his eyes with you lips around his cock, Minghao had to bite his lip to stop himself from coming in your mouth. He then forced himself to slip away from you and had you lying back down on the mattress as he spread your legs apart.

“Ready for me, love?”

Even though it was a question, he didn’t need a reply. Minghao rubbed his shaft between your folds just to tease you and when you were beginning to whimper, he finally gave in and pushed his cock into you roughly.

Shocked at the sudden feeling of fullness, you arched your back as you gripped on the sheets for dear life. He was ramming into you with intensity as you cried out incoherent words repeatedly like a mantra. Minghao then shifted his position, grabbing your leg and placing it over his shoulder as he continued to thrust into you relentlessly.

“Y-yes…ah—oh my god,” you cried as a familiar feeling pooled in your stomach. He then reached out for your clit and rubbed it relentlessly; biting his lips to hide a grunt because of how tight you were gripping him.

“Come on, love. Come for me,” Minghao coaxed as he changed angles and pounded right at your sweet spot.

Sound of skin slapping echoed inside the room together with your heavy breaths and loud moans. Minghao was completely enamored with how you looked so utterly fucked out with your tinted cheeks and lidded eyes as he continues to pounded into you until you were crying out; reaching your orgasm. Within a few more thrusts, Minghao pulled out and came on your stomach as you dazedly watch him kiss your lips once more.

You never realized that you fell asleep until you woke up a while later.

Though, you didn’t expect to be handcuffed on the bed railings as your hazy eyes registered the Asian man who just gave you one of the best nights of your life, sitting lazily on a chair in front of you. Immediately panicking, you pulled on the restraints but the young man only gave you a mere chuckle.

“Just how naughty are you love? Having sex with a man without knowing his name,” he spoke first as he glanced at his nails, seemingly uninterested on you.

“You…! What…what is this?!” you shouted yet the man simply scoffed and brushed a hand on his still disheveled hair which you may or may not admit as sexy.

“Can’t you tell, love? You’re being tied up,” he replied with a grin, leaning against the backrest of the chair. “You’ve been a very, very bad girl lately.”

“What…what do you mean?”

“Oh you know what I mean,” his lips crept to a smirk as he stood up from where he was sitting—slowly walking towards you with his hands on his pockets. “Selling information about Lee chocolates and all. Unfortunately for you, I work for them.”

You blanched within seconds after you heard his words as your eyes grew wide. There was no way out of this anymore.

“Oh my god. You’re…you’re Xu Minghao...Lee Chan’s bodyguard,” you muttered in a small terrified voice as the owner of the name held your chin up to look straight into his eyes.

“That’s right, love. Unfortunately, you won’t be seeing anymore clients,” he told you with a menacing grin. “We already took them down.”

You were about to say something when he placed a finger on your lips to shush you.

“But you don’t have to worry about that, love. Fortunately for you, Lee Chocolates is open for hiring.”

-Admin Hyeri

#seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen smut #the8 #seventeen the8 #minghao #xu minghao

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herlikings · 7 years ago

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I know this is 3-months overdue but better late than never, right? Here’s me trying to make a comeback. Let’s see how long I can last until my next hiatus lol.

2017 was definitely another year of beauty obsession and consumption. Probably one of the best years in the field’s industry for impressive trends and expressive creations, too.

For the rest of this post, I will be discussing my favorite products of 2017. Not all categories are included and not all highly talked-about products will be discussed (i.e., I do own the Huda Beauty Desert Dusk palette and the Jaclyn Hill x Morphe palette, but I haven’t had time to play around with it).

Let’s start off with skincare...

I’m at that age where I want to focus more on my skin, but also do not know exactly what I need for my age and skin type. However, among all the skincare products I recently started to accumulate, these three have been my tried-and-true for awhile...at least enough for me to continue repurchasing.

1. I love to my Clarisonic with the brand’s own cleanser, don’t get me wrong. However, I personally feel like my Clarisonic does not get down deep in my skin like an exfoliating scrub. After using St. Ives Fresh Face Apricot Scrub my skin feels more refreshed and cleansed. The added texture from the walnut grains, with the light smell of the apricot extract, is a pleasant way to wake myself up in the morning, especially for mornings after a long-wear of makeup. I personally keep my bottle in my shower.

2. I classify my skin to be more on the normal/oily side of the spectrum. I often go through phases of dry patches on my skin especially once fall and winter comes around. I like to believe my skin is a bit sensitive after some failed trials with facial masks, so I wanted a moisturizer that I knew wouldn’t irritate my skin. I used the Neutrogena Hydro-Gel Moisturizer for Very Dry Skin for awhile but it was alright. I repurchased it even thought I felt as if my skin was not fully hydrated; it felt like the gel sat on top like a hydrating primer. I forgot how I was convinced to try Philosophy’s Renewed Hope in a Jar Moisturizer in the first place but I’m glad I was willing to try it out during my time with Ulta Beauty. A little does go a long way but my skin always feels firm and perfectly hydrated (but not too hydrated).

3. I am still trying to get my mind wrapped around the use of micellar waters but I find this one to be especially handy in my kit. I like to use this with a cotton pad after using a makeup wipe. This is also my go-to product when I need to take off my stubborn falsies. It’s super gentle on my natural lashes but strong enough to take the lash glue off.

I truly believe foundations was one of my highly purchased product for 2017. In the past, I rotated between 3-4 different foundations because I did not want spend a lot on just one bottle once I run out (aka I preferred to wear drugstore foundations as often as possible because of it’s pricing compared to high-end formulas). However, I started to notice the benefits of investing in prestige foundations for many reasons (i.e., coverage, finish, and color match [!!!]).

Disclaimer: I am not including primers this year. To me, I feel like I didn’t find at least one primer that made me go, “WOW this is amazing.” Nonetheless, I still use primers as part of my makeup routine since I already have some in my kit.

1. Another tried-and-true that I constantly mention: Make Up Forever Ultra HD Invisible Cover Foundation. Medium to full coverage. This formula isn’t heavy on my skin; extremely lightweight and easy to blend. Little-to-no white cast. Also, this is one of the foundations in my collection that has the most spot on color match with my skin.

2. I was a bit hesitant to try this brand because no one really talked about it on social media. When I used to work at Ulta Beauty, a Fiona Stiles representative actually convinced a couple of my staff members (including myself) to not only try out the products but to purchase some as well (during this time of our training, the brand was on sale). I absolutely loved how smooth the Fiona Stiles Matte Finish Foundation Concentrate made my skin look. Since it is a concentrate, it does have a mouse-like consistency and is definitely my most full-coverage foundation out of the three favorites. With that being said, a little goes a long way for me. I also prefer to use this with a sponge. The finish isn’t completely matte - more of a satin finish if anything. Then again, maybe that’s because I prefer to apply with a sponge.

3. How can I not mention Fenty Beauty Pro Filt’r Soft Matte Foundation in my favorites? This is the first, and for now, the only product I have purchased from Rhianna’s line. I was going to wait on purchasing this foundation right away but a lot of my favorite beauty gurus I follow said nothing but good things. I’m glad I caved in and bought it. The first time I tried this on, I was just going out with some friends for a movie night. Applied this foundation a couple of hours before heading out just to see how it would wear. Caught a late movie and arrived home past midnight. As soon as I got home, I checked the mirror and oh my...I was so impressed with how it lasted - it still looked natural and felt lightweight. My oil was probably breaking through a bit at that point but not as bad. I was just obsessed and impressed with how my skin looked after many hours. This foundation became my go-to foundation for the rest of the year. As much as I tried to use a different foundation, I could not stay away from this. I prefer to use a brush for this foundation to get a fuller coverage, and then sometimes I go over the layer with a damp sponge after. I learned that tip from a Sephora associate at the mall and I can see why she does that extra step. This is such a great product that I decided to pack it in my traveling kit for some of my trips. The only thing I would critique about this product is the packaging: the cap feels flimsy so I’m always scared to pack it as is (I actually “repack” in it’s original packaging for my trips). I also don’t like how the pump gets dirty easily because it’s hard to clean sometimes.

2017 was the year of I learned to be more appreciative of concealers.

1. My ultimate favorite concealer of the 2017 is the NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer. When Ulta Beauty finally started to sell NARS during my time of employment, I was so excited to try the concealer because that meant that I can 1) see what the hype was all about and 2) use my employee discount on it haha. I fell in love immediately. My favorite part about this concealer is that it blurs out the appearance of lines and wrinkles. When the NARS representative came in to give a short training, he mentioned light-diffusing technology, which helps give one’s complexion a radiant, natural look. It is also a medium-to-full, buildable coverage.

2. Colourpop Cosmetics continues to impress the beauty industry with their phenomenal products at affordable prices. Their No Filter Concealers are full-coverage, similar to Shape Tape (but has a thinner consistency) for a fraction of the price. First, I got shade Light 20 only because it was rumored to be a similar shade compared to my other concealers. When i first tried it out it appeared too light..much lighter than my Shape Tape. However, it looked perfectly fine once blended out with a sponge. Yes, maybe a tad bit lighter than what I’m used to but definitely usable. The next time I made a Colourpop purchase, I ordered shade Medium 30 hoping it would be a better fit. This shade works for me but for days when I do not want to put a full face on; it has enough coverage to blend in with my skin if I don’t put any foundation/base on. Blends seamlessly.

3. Last but not least, of course I had to include Tarte Cosmetics Shape Tape Contour Concealer. Full coverage. Better color match, in my opinion, compared to the shades Colourpop currently offers. Even though it’s a thicker consistency, it doesn’t feel too heavy or drying. A little goes a long way.

I tried numerous of bonzers this past year from undertones to formulas. These stuck out to me.

1. Tried-and-true my LORAC PRO Contour Palette. They did come out with a cream contour/conceal palette, but I still preferred their powdered version. I love this palette so much that I already hit pan on the banana powder and the large bonzer pan. Blends out easily. I always recommended this over the ABH contour palettes when I was working at Ulta Beauty.

2. Another tried-and-true: Benefit Hoola Bronzer. Can’t go wrong with this either. This has the perfect amount of neutral-gray undertones to provide a natural shadow in definition. Can also be used to contour.

3. When Colourpop released their pressed powder highlighters and bronzers, I was excited to try them. The highlighers are okay, but this Pressed Powder Bronzer in “Afternoon Delight” is impressive. It blends out so easily without leaving any streaks. This shade is perfect for my skintone - it’s warmer than the Hoola bonzer but not too orange or red.

I was totally obsessed with the glow this past year.

Disclaimer: I did not include any blush this year because I did not find one (other than the Amaretto in the BECCA split pan) that I gravitated to the most. I do have plenty of blush options, though.

1. The BECCA Cosmetics Split Pan Shimmering Duo in “Prosecco Pop/Amaretto” was ultimate my travel buddy of 2017. Brought this with me on most of my trips more than any other product. Prosecco Pop is a warm gold shade which allows it to pop without being too intense like it’s white gold sister, Champagne Pop. Amaretto is a beautiful blush - it’s not too brown to look like bronzer, but adds natural flush on the cheeks. Plus, having two products in one made packing a no brainer.

2. My initial thought when I swatched this highlighter was, “OH MY GOSH. Why didn’t I purchase this highlighter sooner?” Ofra Cosmetic’s Rodeo Drive is surprisingly, yet stunningly, so intense that you need to apply with a very, very light hand. One sweep across your cheekbones and you may blind someone. You should have seen my facial expression when I first applied it... *jaw dropper*

3. Colourpop’s Super Shock Highlight in “Wisp” is another one of my tried-and-true products, of course. This gold-champagne color and cream-to-powder formula adds a nice glow-from-within. Almost always packed this in my makeup bag when I traveled. Sometimes, I layer this under a powder highlighter to make my glow long-lasting and extra poppin’ throughout the day.

I didn’t know how else to name this category but it’s all related to the eye-area.

1. For the first time in a long time I did not mention my MAC Fluidline Brow Gel... I still love that product, though. The only reason I replaced it with the Anastasia Beverly Hills’ Dipbrow in “Dark Brown” is because this was my most used brow pomade of the year (mostly because I used the tester when at work). I started off with a darker shade to balance out my black hair I had going on earlier in the year, then switched to this as the black was fading out. A little goes a long way, but I still have to be careful with the amount of pressure I put on my hand + the amount of product on my brush during application.

2. I think I found my new favorite eyeliner. Caved in and tried Stila’s Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Liner in “Intense Black” after recommending to Ulta Beauty shoppers. It is one of the best selling eyeliners at Ulta Beauty and my personal favorite compared to KVD’s. This eyeliner doesn’t smear and it glides on easily. The felt tip brush is flexible but doesn’t wear out. I’ve tried other liquid eyeliners similar to Stila’s but this forsure is still the best I’ve ever tried. Best believe I have a backup in my kit.

3. 2017 was the year I started to comfortably and causually wear false lashes. I loved Ardell’s Studio FX Wispie lashes until this Eylure Luxe Faux Mink Lashes in “Opulent” came into my life. It’s fluffy and soft; the band isn’t thick and is easy to work with. The first time I glued the pair on, I almost forgot I was wearing it. That is how light it felt.

A lot of brands released numerous of eyeshadow palettes all throughout 2017.

As mentioned earlier, I may not discuss all the breakthrough products of 2017, such as the Jaclyn Hill x Morphe palette or the Huda Beauty Desert Dusk. I do have both of the palettes but just haven’t touched them yet, or at least used them enough times.

1. Another tried-and-true to mention: Tarte Cosmetics Tartlette in Bloom. When I got this around the time of it’s release, I did not want to use any other palette. I wanted to mention this in this year’s favorites because it’s still one of the few products that works best on me over time. The amazonian clay formula is easy to diffuse without losing it’s pigmentation. It may have some fallout but I’m okay with it since it’s easy to blend out. The colors are great all year long. I recently got Tarte’s new Toasted palette but haven’t had time to play with it yet. I am certain that’ll be just as amazing as this Tartelette in Bloom.

2. Everyone’s favorite, Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance. I think I mentioned in a previous post how much I absolute love the brand’s eyeshadow formulation - definitely one of my top favorite out there. This palette is clearly more bold in color scheme compared to the Tartelette in Bloom, but still flattering for different looks and on for different skintones. Created some of my favorite looks with this palette. A bit more fallout than Tarte and not as buttery, but smooth enough to work with. However, I think this has deeper color payoff than Tarte. In other words, it’s still worth it.

3. I kept debating whether or not I should purchase this palette but I’m so happy I caved in. This Urban Decay Naked Heat Palette is especially perfect for both summer and fall. The colors included can create both a warm, orange look or a deep plum smokey-eye. Probably the best set of formulation across the eyeshadow pans in the Naked palette series.

Last but not least, my favorite category...lipsticks. I own a lot already yet still continue to purchase more than necessary. I have a problem.

1. When I worked at Ulta Beauty, Nudestix was my go-to brand to upsell. Not only is the brand’s focus on easy-to-use products for people on-the-go, but it was also one of my favorite brands to personally use. These products are 1) perfect for busy people like me, 2) easy to pack (you can fit about 4 stix in one case, which also includes a mirror inside), and 3) almost most of the products are multi-purpose. When I had to get ready before operation hours I would run to the Nudestix fixture and create a look within 5 minutes. Guests constantly asked what I products I used on my face and later left with a couple Nudestix. My favorite lipstick they recently created is the Magnetic Matte Lip Color in “Boho.” When I had to set up the fixture and saw this color on the model, I knew I had to have it on my lips. It screamed “Coachella,” “90′s vibes,” and so much more to me. On my lips, it eventually feels a little bit more drying than expected but worth the color. It’s also long-lasting if properly moisturized beforehand.

2. Another nude to mention is the Kylie Cosmetic Lip Kit in “Dolce K.” I owned other shades before Dolce K but tend to gravitate to this shade more than the others. I barely use the lip liners (just because it’s easier to apply liquid lipstick when on-the-go), but the deep, beige nude color is a flattering nude on my complexion. I like the formulation of Kylie’s liquid lipsticks, too - long-lasting and not too heavy.

3. So here’s a funny story. When I moved back home and started to unpack my makeup collection, I found two unopened MAC Lipstick in “Whirl.” With that said, I keep one in my bag at all times no matter what. This dirty rose shade is one of my favorites because it’s not too pink nor too dark; it’s a great shade for some added color.

4. Jeffree Star Velour Liquid Lipstick in “Leo” has more of an orange undertone compared to the others, but it’s still a nude that works on me. According to the site, it’s “a true honey brown.” Pretty accurate. I purchased numerous of Jeffree Star liquid lipsticks all at once, but Leo is the only one that I tend to gravitate to the most. As much as I like Leo, I’m more of a Pisces (lol get it).

5. Last but not least, Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in “Bow n Arrow.” I love this shade so much. Probably the lightest nude I would and could actually wear. This fawn nude color is very neutral in tone, in my opinion. I tend to wear this when I have a dark, smokey eye.

AND THAT’S ABOUT IT.

That’s my take on my favorites from 2017, justified with my own personal experiences and opinions.

I wonder what will standout to me in 2018... Or maybe I should just use up everything I currently have in my kit... Only time will tell.

#makeup #beauty #bblog #beauty favorites #bblogger #ontheblog

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headfilledwithsmoke · 7 years ago

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Germany, December 2017 - Day 1

“Guten Morgen und willkommen an Bord dieses Flug nach Düsseldorf…”. And so the announcement from the flight deck continued in German (certainly one of my least understood languages going!) as I took my seat onboard an early morning flight from Manchester’s Terminal 1 bound for Düsseldorf.

The whole trip had come about only a week before when my girlfriend dropped the bombshell that she wouldn’t be in the country from the 26th December until New Years Eve! As I usually do, I came up with a totally ridiculous idea, this time being that maybe I could head to the continent for the last few days of my Christmas leave and spend them with her. One quick browse of SkyScanner and £124 from my debit card later, my Eurowings flight was booked! All that stood between me an Germany was Christmas with the family and the utterly miserable drive from Cornwall back to Manchester.

At any rate, my alarm clock went off and I groggily dragged myself out of bed, got dressed, rechecked that I had my passport, picked up my rucksack and then drove to the airport. Now, I am usually a very relaxed traveller, taking the usual advice of arriving two hours before a flight to be a ploy to get you to spend in the various shops after security, but I have to admit that this time I wish I had! Despite working in the industry I hadn’t taken in to account that Emirates also fly from Manchester’s T1 with a departure time incredibly close to mine, meaning that even with all of the other flights departing at a similar time nearly 500 additional people would be heading through the busy (and frankly disorganised) security post. Luckily I arrived at the gate as the flight was boarding and so I avoided the embarrassment of not making the flight! Note to self for the future: always check what flights are departing before leaving a minimum time to get through the airport!

I was sat in the very rear left seat of the Eurowings Airbus A320 and I found the trip to be comfortable and without issue, although the full flight and the flight time of just over an hour meant that the refreshment trolly didn’t reach my row. No matter, I would have to make up for it with a good lunch once I arrived!

Eventually the flight touched down, and after a quick taxi to stand and disembarking I made my way through passport control. Düsseldorf Airport is a busy, 3 terminal affair with walkways between all three so after a ten minute walk I was out in to the arrivals hall. Now, this trip was also an exciting one for another reason: I was meeting my girlfriend’s father for the first time! A quick walk along the arrivals hall and I spotted them both waiting at another of the exits looking the other way. I took the opportunity to sneak up behind my girlfriend and tap her on the shoulder, who instinctively turned to her father and was about to accuse him of joking with her before spotting me! I don’t want this to become a long and soppy post, but I haven’t ever seen the excitement that she had when she saw me, and the feelings it elicited are indescribable! A somewhat awkward shake of her father’s hand (damn, I’m normally good at these!) and we were on the way to the car to head to where he lived, a small town called Neuss.

Neuss is situated to the south-west of Düsseldorf on the western side of the Rhine and upon arriving at her father’s apartment block, the subtle differences between German and British living became apparent. The residential area was full of three story apartment blocks with a basement parking lot, and all of these buildings had extremely acute roofs! after I dropped off my bag my girlfriend told me that as the weather was fairly damp and chilly we’d stay relatively local and head to Düsseldorf itself. We wrapped up warm, picked up an umbrella and headed for the tram stop (Stadthalle/Museum, Neuss).

After a short ride we arrived at Düsseldorf Hauptbahnhof (the main rail station in the city). We had been aiming to alight at the Altstadt (Old Town), but a slight bit of disorientation meant we’d ended up around a 25 minute walk away. By this point it was just past midday and I was ravenous, so we decided we’d walk towards the Altstadt and find somewhere to eat along the way.

About 5 or 10 minutes along we spotted a relatively busy Korean restaurant with what appeared to be a reasonably priced lunch menu. My girlfriend had only had her first experience of Korean cuisine a week or so prior, but she was keen to sample it again! We were quickly seated and both opted for the ‘Menu 2’, comprising of a bibimbap down with beef, a side (we went for some salmon sushi rolls and dumplings) and a drink for €9. The food arrived promptly and it was delicious! We greedily devoured lunch and were eager to get on our way and explore the city.

We walked along until we reached ‘Königsallee’, a beautiful tree-lined avenue boulevard with a canal along it’s centre and it’s sides home to high end boutiques. Each of the bridges were different in design and it was a delight to see. It was the first time in the city that I had truly appreciated where I was. Half way along the avenue we spotted the tell-tale wooden huts of the famous German Christmas Markets. Admittedly I have never been one for these kind of markets back home with an almost disgust at the overpriced tat being sold to tourists and locals alike.

However, in this instance, I absolutely loved it. My girlfriend bought me my first ever mug of Glühwein (or mulled wine to us English speakers), and in the chilly German afternoon with the smell of waffles being made, the sound of German Christmas music and the beautifully decorated huts I experienced a taste I will never forget.

Glühwein in hand we continued to explore the beautiful market lined, cobbled streets of Düsseldorf’s Altstadt. Eventually we come across a square (Burgplatz) just off of the bank of the Rhine. In it’s centre stood an impressive ferris wheel with enclosed pods. Excited to see an aerial view of the city we decided to pay the reasonable €7.50 admission and waited for our pod to arrive.

We were ushered into an 8 person pod with a family of four. The doors closed and the wheel began to turn, the pod ascending and revealing an incredible view of the Rhine on one side and the city sprawling our on the other. A few obligatory ‘selfies’ and scenic photos later and we were left to take in the view. We also had a brief chat the family (who happened to come from Haarlem, Netherlands) who were very friendly and kindly took a great picture of us both. The wheel went around a full four rotations before we got off. It was an experience I would thoroughly recommend, well worth the price of admission.

After seeing it from the air we decided to take a stroll down the Rhine, although not before we’d recharged our Glühwein mugs (this time with white wine and a shot of rum or amaretto!). We took our time, taking in the view and the now fine weather.

We continued to walk through the Altstadt, coming across a traditional german beer house where we enjoyed a glass of local beer whilst warming up! It was noisy, lively and totally unique! Once your glass is empty unless you put your beermat on top one of the waiters will come around with another full glass and replace it!

Eventually, we decided to walk back towards the tram stop, stocking up on a few essentials to accompany the dinner being cooked for us by my girlfriend’s father and his partner. The tram was relatively quiet and swiftly returned us to Neuss. We took the short walk back to the apartment and were seated for dinner. It was a delicious meal of pork chops with potatoes, cauliflower, peas and a fantastic gravy!

After the meal we all sat around and I made (what I hope!) was a good impression. Weary from the day, we eventually went to bed, ready for the adventure the next day would bring - a trip to Cologne!

#travel #germany #düsseldorf #christmas #girlfriend #trip

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anavoliselenu · 5 years ago

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freedom cha 18

SELENA POV

"The Freedom to kill is the right to every human being, even if it produces the worst consequences." –Mark Twain

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie MEyer.

I took the makeup brush and ran it over my eyelid, artfully smudging my skin with eye shadow. I was going for a different kind of look than normal and I wasn't sure how I liked it so far.

"Alice, are you sure this is what the magazine said?" I asked, looking at her in the reflection of my bathroom mirror.

"I think so. Maybe you're using too much. It looks funny." Her face scrunched up.

"Why do you read that garbage?"

"It's not garbage! Here, let me try." Alice took the brush and began doing my makeup herself.

"I don't like this." I sat with my hands in my lap. "I'm just going to wipe it off before the night is over."

"But you promised we could at least try it," Alice said. "And it doesn't look that bad."

"Yes, it does," I argued.

We were currently getting ready for a birthday party for a rather wealthy philanthropist named Conner Dunn. He was an older man with his hands in everything from education to public policy to medical wellbeing. He was very influential in the community, and the Biebers had been invited to attend his small gathering. He also happened to be one of Justin's professors at Brown, and one of his favorites. The only ones not joining us were Alec, Jane, Carlisle, and Esme.

We were more than happy to go.

Emmett had told me that a lot of Justin's college buddies would be there since they all knew Mr. Dunn as well. I couldn't believe my ears at first until he pulled out a Dartmouth yearbook and showed me a very young, smiling Justin in a fraternity picture, with Greek letters spelled across his chest on a sweatshirt. I nearly fell out of my chair.

The Justin I knew would never be social enough to be in a fraternity, especially one with manly bonding. He explained that he just joined because Jasper and Emmett had, but he was glad he did. The connections were invaluable, he said. I couldn't wait to hear about College Justin stories.

"There, I'm done," Alice sighed proudly.

"I'm not wearing all of this makeup." I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a clown, all thanks to Alice's new fashion magazine. She decided I was her test dummy.

"I agree," Rose said, shaking her head.

I reached for one of the makeup wipes and began taking it all off. I was more a natural kind of girl and Justin preferred it that way too. This was ridiculous. Once my face was free of powders and liquids, I started again.

Five minutes later, I was finished and I had a healthy glow, nothing overly done or dramatic.

I pulled my hair out of its pins and let it fall over my shoulders, styling it simply. I stood up and smoothed out my dress. It was black and fitted around my body until it fell at the knee. It was actually kind of sexy, but I didn't realize that until I put it on.

"Wow, your boobs look great in that," Alice commented, looking at me in the mirror.

"Thank you." I shrugged.

"I wish I was pregnant just for the breasts." Alice hung her head, gazing at her own chest.

I watched Rosalie's face fall slightly. I glared at Alice who rolled her eyes. Rose walked out of the bathroom, sniffling.

"Why did you have to do that?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to," she replied. "I wasn't trying to make her sad."

"You know she's sensitive about that topic."

"I'm not going to shut my mouth every time I want to talk about babies. That's stupid. She's been crying for five years on my shoulder. I understand, but millions of women can't have kids. They don't bawl their eyes out every second," Alice ranted.

"I'll go do damage control." I headed into the bedroom where Rose was sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry about this." She shook her head. "I hate crying."

"I know you do." I sat down, rubbing her back. "She didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"When you… lost the first one, was it hard for you?" Rose blew her nose.

"Incredibly hard. I didn't know how to handle it. I would just cry for days and I was so young."

"Do you think about it now?"

I nodded. "Sometimes. Roman and Sophia would have an older sibling. It's so strange to think that."

"I'm sorry we never helped you through it."

"I know you are, but you have us here if you ever need anything."

"Thank you so much." Rose hugged me tightly. "I just kind of want to be alone for a minute."

"Okay, we'll be in the bathroom."

I got up and let her be so that she could have a good cry.

I thought about Elizabeth a lot, but didn't shed many tears anymore. Only when I really contemplated how my future might have changed if she was here. It was hard for me, but harder for Rosalie. She had lost so many now, and I couldn't imagine the pain she went through.

Alice was finishing up her hair when I went back to the bathroom.

"You're being really insensitive," I told her.

"I am not. I love her like a sister, but I can't stand it when she gets all depressed like that. It brings down my mood."

"Because it's all about Alice?" I said sarcastically, pulling on my red stiletto heels. They were very high, but I could do it.

She didn't bother acknowledge me.

Rosalie pulled herself together and joined us in the bathroom to finish up getting ready. She smiled and put on her usual joyful face, but she was hurting so much. I tried to be as comforting as I could. She and Alice were my older sisters, for all intents and purposes. I loved them both fiercely, and it hurt when one of them were in pain.

I held the banister of the staircase as I went down slowly, trying not to fall before I even got out of the door.

"Hot stuff." Emmett catcalled as we descended. "I like what I see."

Rosalie ran to him like a schoolgirl. Alice did the same with Jasper.

Justin was in the corner, shaded in darkness like some kind of mysterious enigma. He had a flute of champagne held close to his face, his lips in a smirk. He was in a pewter gray suit with a skinny black tie; perfectly formal without trying too hard. His hair was styled, yet disheveled at the same time, as it always was.

"What exactly are you trying to do to me?" he asked when I walked towards him. "Mrs. Bieber, you are going to be turning heads tonight."

"I want to turn your head." I pushed him gently against the wall.

"Your hormones are getting the best of you again." He chuckled. "We talked about this over aggressive sexual nature."

"I can't help it."

"You know what would set your outfit off even more?" He pulled me closer to him.

"What is that?"

Justin reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a strand of shining diamonds.

"You bought me another gift?" I exhaled in surprise, watching the jewels sparkle. "Wow."

"I've had it for a while. I forgot to give it to you on Valentine's. You distracted me with those chocolate dipped strawberries."

The color in my face rose as I remembered that particular night of sexual debauchery.

He turned me around and moved my hair, placing the necklace around me before fastening it.

He kissed my bare shoulder. "Beautiful."

There was a knock at the door, interrupting our moment.

"The elder Mr. and Mrs. Bieber." Gioni presented Carlisle and Esme in the foyer like this was some kind of grand ball.

"We've come to babysit." Esme held up her bags of gifts for Roman and Sophia. "I'm so excited and Carlisle will be on his best behavior."

"I haven't cared for a baby in thirty years." He shrugged. "I'm sure it's not that different."

We had made headway on rebuilding some sort of relationship with them. It wasn't as solid as before, but Justin had toned down his anger. I don't think he saw them as enemies anymore, so it was getting better. He was finally comfortable in leaving the babies alone with Carlisle and Esme, who opted out of the birthday party tonight. Of course, they would be under the watchful eye of Katy Nana, but I was sure everything would be fine.

There was light talk as we drank a little and prepared to leave. Justin wanted to go, but we were about half an hour early. I knew if I just kept him entertained throughout the night, he wouldn't get aggravated. He didn't do well in social settings like parties. Too many people made him anxious, which made him grouchy and angry. No one wanted to see that.

The catalyst that pushed us out of the door was when Bosco ran and almost knocked me over. Thankfully, Justin caught me when my heels slipped on the marble flooring. Bosco was just excited with the commotion in the house, but Justin nearly forced us into the cars and the dog into the basement.

Justin actually drove this time, letting William have the night off with his wife. We took a silver Bentley that had plush seats and lots of leg room. I seemed like a miniature doll compared to the expansive dashboard and extra-large gadgets of the car.

The lights of the city came into view and Justin began to fidget. I knew something was up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him.

"Um, yeah." He cracked his neck.

"You're lying."

"I just don't know what to expect tonight."

"Why?"

"These guys… I haven't seen them since college and most of them weren't that upstanding then. I just don't how they will react to me."

"Sounds like a college reunion. Just loosen up. Don't be so serious all the time."

"You're right." He sighed.

The party was held at a conference center near the water. It was on the edge of the docks so we could see the water as we parked. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I liked what I saw so far.

I opened the door and made sure I had the gift of wine we brought before stepping out. Justin was there immediately to help me.

"Those are kind of high, Selena." He pointed to my shoes. "You going to be okay?"

"Yes," I glared, "I'm not going to fall over and die."

"Just checking." He chuckled.

The rest of the group parked slightly after us and we walked inside. We had arrived during social and cocktail hour so no one had sat down to dinner yet. I placed our gift on the table filled with wrapped presents and bags.

Justin handed me a drink. "Amaretto sour."

"Thank you." I took a sip. It was good. Really good.

"There's an open bar tonight so I plan to take full advantage." He drank some of the clear liquid in his glass. It smelled like gin and tonic.

"So, where is this famous teacher who you look up to so much? I have to meet him," I said.

"Are you going to embarrass me?" He grinned.

"Of course not. I just want to know the college you. I have a feeling he was quite different."

"That he was. And wild." Justin put his hand on the small of my back, pushing us into a larger ballroom.

Almost immediately, several different men accosted him. They all looked to be about the same age and of the same mold; rich, smart, products of fine homes, and extremely attractive.

"Oh, brother." Justin ran a hand through his hair and then put on a smile.

"Eddie!" A massive man nearly ran over to us. He was almost as big as Emmett. "What the fuck are you doing here? I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"I came for the party. Jasper and Emmett are here too."

"I see that." He clapped his shoulder roughly. "I missed you boys."

"We couldn't run away from you fast enough," Justin joked. I think.

The man turned to me. "And who is this?"

Justin's hold on me tightened. "This is my wife, Selena. Selena, this is one of my fraternity brothers Callahan Reed."

"It's nice to meet you." I held out my hand.

"No, no. I'm a hugger." I was ripped form Justin and lifted into the air.

I found out that all of Justin's college friends were huggers. It was strange at first, but I began to expect it as the night went on. I met men with strange first names that proved how rich their families were and their wives who seemed to be of the same class.

As I suspected, Emmett and Jasper were the social butterflies in college, leaving Justin to pave his own way. Callahan told crazy stories about Justin in the fraternity that I was apprehensive to believe. Things like putting fully assembled cars on the roof of the gym and boarding up the Dean's office. Or on one occasion, stealing a cadaver from the health science building during Halloween. Justin didn't deny a thing. He just laughed and recalled memories that he had seemed to forgotten.

This wasn't the normal posh crowd we tended to see at parties. The room was filled with staunch liberal intellectuals who loved to debate about social unrest. The conversations got interesting, fueled by alcohol, but it was all in jest. Many of the guests were from the city, but more were from out of town and not really familiar with whom I was. Justin made sure they knew I was his wife, and he told me that I gave a remarkable show of impressing them, which was hard with this crowd.

My drinks were kept full, and I enjoyed the buzz while meeting everyone; although, I made sure to pace myself.

"Come on, I want you to meet him." Justin pulled me towards an older looking man with the cutest blue and yellow bowtie I had ever seen. He was short and round, with thick black glasses and a baldhead, but full white beard.

"Justin Bieber!" he boomed. "Dolores, he's here," the man said to the older lady next to him, I assumed his wife.

"I couldn't miss out on your one thousandth birthday." Justin actually gave the guy a manly hug and pat on the back.

"It's a wonder I still leave fingerprints. I'm so old."

"I'd like to introduce you to my wife. Selena, this is Professor Conner Dunn, the man who basically made my life a living hell for four years at Dartmouth."

"I pushed you because you're smart and weren't using your potential," he said seriously, then softened. "It's very nice to meet you, Selena."

"You too. Justin's said so many things about you. It's nice to finally meet."

He introduced me to his wife, who was also a professor, and they seemed so much in love. He would kiss her without even realizing it, and she would hold his hand or touch his arm so lightly. We stayed with them for a couple of minutes until someone told us that dinner was being served.

Justin led me to our table that also sat the rest of the family and a few empty chairs. The centerpieces were beautiful roses in small vases and candles. The mood was intimate with the lights dimmed.

"I'm so glad we came to this." Emmett drank from his cup. "I haven't seen these guys in years."

"I know and half of them are still the same as they were in college," Jasper added. "A mess."

A server came by and asked us what kind of wine we wanted. I chose white, while Justin chose red.

After dinner, there was some dancing. A live band played some great music, and Justin nearly yanked me onto the floor. We weren't the type of couple who danced the night away, but on rare occasions, it happened. Usually it was when Justin had enough bourbon to tranquilize a horse, but he was never sloppy. We ended up swirling and swaying for about half an hour, not a care in the world.

"You're fairly light on your feet this evening," Justin said to me.

"All thanks to your good footwork, no doubt."

"Do you care for a break?"

"Yes, actually," I sighed, exhausted of my dips and twirls.

Justin took my hand and led me from the ballroom, onto the patio outside. It was a lot cooler out here, and I breathed a sigh of relief, sitting on one of the benches. He stood against the railing, smoking a cigarette.

"This is by far the most fun I've had in a long time," Justin said.

"I agree. It's nice to get away from the house for a couple of hours."

"I can't argue with that." He sat next to me.

We stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, just enjoying our peace and quiet.

"How's your… hit list going?" I asked. For some reason, the words came out on their own; I didn't even realize until it was too late.

Justin didn't seem shocked at all. He just took a drag and exhaled smoke. "It's going well. Just two left."

"Really? That was fast."

"I work exceedingly quickly when I have a goal in mind."

"Well, can you maybe keep that to yourself while Charlie is here? I want him to have a pleasant visit."

"I wouldn't dare upset the delicate balance between a father and his daughter." Justin kissed the top of my head.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "Should I just move out of the house until he leaves?"

"No, I'm sure he's warmed up enough now that you dubious activities don't bother him as much as they used to."

"You're too kind."

The next day, I was sitting at a table in a street side café in the city, waiting for Justin to meet me on his lunch break. It was the perfect temperature outside and people seemed to be taking advantage of the weather, walking around or eating lunch in the open like we were.

"Would you like anything to drink?" a waitress asked me.

"Just more water." I smiled.

"No problem."

I spotted Justin across the street, waiting for traffic to disperse before crossing. He looked so incredibly handsome today in a more casual look than he usually wore. I hadn't seen him today before he left for work, so this sight was something to behold.

Justin rarely wore jeans, but when he did, he wore then extremely well. They were tight, but not too tight, and hung just the right way. His white t-shirt underneath didn't have a wrinkle in sight and over it, he wore a navy blue military-like jacket that made his chest seem even broader than usual. He had on Aviator sunglasses and his hair was in its usual form of disarray.

"Sorry I'm late." He leaned down to kiss me.

I was slightly stunned and left my mouth handing open for a couple of seconds while he sat across from me.

"What?" he asked, taking off his glasses.

"You look… good."

"Oh, well, thank you." He seemed genuinely surprised that I thought so.

"What's with the casualness?"

"We're doing some moving around in the office, so everyone got to dress down."

"Moving furniture and stuff?"

"More or less. We're trying to clean up before the Feds show up." Justin shrugged, waving over our waitress. "Have you ordered?"

"Not yet. I was waiting for you."

"Good." The waitress came over with a happy disposition. Justin didn't even let her greet him. "We'll have two chicken Caesar salads, one with no onions and the other with no tomatoes. I'll have a glass of Pinot Grigio with one ice cube. If it's more than one, I'm complaining to the manager. That will be all."

She looked taken aback, and stuttered.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, belittling the waitress further. "Would you like me to repeat it again?"

"Uh, no, sir." She shook her head and left.

I sighed, "Justin, you have got to reign in that attitude of yours. It's not going to get you anywhere in life. I hope to God Roman is more temperate than you are."

"He tried to throw a spoon at me this morning. He's going to be worse than I ever was." Justin seemed happy about that. "How has your day been so far?"

We talked about mundane things for a while, not getting into anything heavy over lunch. The waitress from before steered clear of our table, unless it was absolutely necessary when Justin called her over. She was terrified of us.

"So, you're done for the day?" I asked him, almost overly excited at the thought of having him all to myself for the rest of the day.

"Yes, I am." He grinned. "Did you have anything in mind? Sexually, maybe?"

"Justin, stop it. We had sex last night… twice," I whispered. So…

"I can't help it. Something about this spring air has me horny as a beast."

"Sex will have to wait." I stood up from the table, laying down a couple of bills for the waitress' tip. Justin refused to pay it.

"Can you drive me home?" Justin asked, following me onto the sidewalk.

"Sure."

"I had Jasper drop me off at the office this morning."

I looped my arm through his as we walked to the parking garage down the street. "We first we need to go grocery shopping."

"For?"

"All of Charlie's favorite things." I pulled out a list from my purse. "Rainer beer, and smoked blueberry bacon. Those are a must."

"Blueberry bacon? What the hell is that?" Justin eyed me over the rim of his sunglasses.

"It's bacon that's been cured in blueberry jam. It's the best stuff ever. I haven't had it in years."

"Selena, that sounds disgusting."

"It's really good. I'll make you some. When I first went to live with Charlie, that was all I would eat. He bought so many packages of it we couldn't fit anything in the fridge."

We reached the red BMW I took today, and Justin went to the driver's side door.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked.

"Driving. Give me the keys."

"I don't think so." I fished them out of my purse.

"Selena, you're not driving my car. Hand them over."

"Your car? As I recall, I got it for a birthday gift from you. I don't see why I can't drive."

"Because you're a bad driver."

I glared and pushed him out of my way. I quickly unlocked the door and got in.

"Selena, this isn't funny. Get out of the car." He slammed his fist on the roof.

"Stop being a jackass. I'm leaving with or without you in twenty seconds."

I got an odd sense of satisfaction as I watched Justin stomp to the other side of the car and sink into the seat next to me.

"See, it's not that bad." I backed out of the parking stop.

As I made my way out of the city, Justin didn't speak one word to me. He never liked it when I drive because he said I went too slow; although, at the same time, was too reckless. I don't understand how that was possible, but he swore I was both. He hated the fact that he had to sit in the passenger's seat.

"You know, Selena, I don't like that fact that you bullied me into this," Justin complained.

"You'll be fine."

"No, I won't be. I feel emasculated and I think we need to talk about this. You have to admit that you're a bad driver."

"I am not," I argued. "I happen to be an excellent driver."

"Please. If I didn't have the police in my pocket, you would have more speeding tickets that you'd know what to do with."

"My father is a cop. He taught me well."

"Selena, this has nothing to do with the fact that Charlie supposedly taught you how to drive. I've never seen the proof of it."

"I need examples of it then. Or we can just wait until Charlie gets here and he can tell you what a good driver I am."

Something in the rearview mirror caught my eye.

The sunlight shone off of the bright windshield of a tinted black Mercedes two cars behind. I had seen it when we were having lunch across the street, or when I pulled out of the parking garage. He was following us.

"Secondly, you rev the engine," Justin continued on his tirade. "You can't go from zero to sixty by just slamming your foot down. You'll blow the whole thing."

"Yeah."

"Selena, are you listening to me?"

"What?" I snapped my head towards him. "Of course. What were we talking about?"

"Just pay attention to the road. There's a sharp curve up here and you tend to take them quickly. You'll mess up the alignment of the wheels."

I saw the car try to get closer. He bypassed a truck on the two lane road and made himself even more obvious.

"Okay, Selena, time for some evasive driving," I said to myself.

"What was that?" Justin asked.

"Nothing." I stomped on the gas pedal and took off on the highway. The car jolted me back into the seat, and I kept my hands steady on the wheel so I didn't run off us the road.

"Selena, what the fuck!" Justin held onto the door. "We just talked about this."

"Justin, I think someone's following us."

"Who?" He spun around in the seat.

"That black Mercedes. He's been tailing us from the city. Do you know him?"

"No. What's the license plate? Selena, slow down."

"I'm not slowing down."

"Okay, take this next exit and park in the gas station. See if he follows."

I did as Justin said, slowing down enough to get off of the highway. I immediately made the first right and came across a decaying gas station. It was one of those places that you see on horror movies, but never actually thought existed. The walls were crumbled and the ancient pumps sat outside, just waiting to be used. The attendant inside perked up when I parked out front.

"Duck down." Justin pushed on my head until I was crunched in the seat. I couldn't see over the wheel anymore.

"What are you doing?" I asked, watching him pull out a gun from underneath the seat. It was a rather large semi-automatic weapon that would be able to fire off hundreds of bullets in a matter of seconds.

I looked to make sure there weren't any civilians around.

"Selena, I said stay down!"

"Sorry." I crouched lower. "Is he still there?"

"No, I haven't seen him. I think we're good." Justin sighed and put the gun down.

"Who was that?" I sat up.

"I'm not sure, but let me drive from now on."

"I can..."

"Don't argue with me right now. Just let me drive," he snapped, his nerves on edge. I knew better than to test him at this point. "I want you to get in the back and lay on the seat."

I climbed over the center console and stretched my body out in the back, staring up at the car roof. Justin quickly took over behind the wheel.

He eased out of the gas station slowly at first, looked, and then went back onto the highway. His pace was slow, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. The gun sat across his lap, just waiting to be used.

I didn't say a word, not wanting to break his concentration. I bit my lip, wanting so desperately to peek over and see what was going on, but I knew Justin would kill me if I did.

"It's okay, Selena. No one's following us," he informed me. "We're almost home."

"Who was that?"

"I got the license plate. I'll find out, don't worry."

Charlie arrived early the next week, on a Saturday morning, with Anna in tow. It was just the two of them since the kids were still in school. They were staying with a family friend for the next five days.

"Selena." Charlie actually lifted me up when he got out of the car, squeezing me tightly on the front steps.

"Hey, Dad," I gasped. "Too tight."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He set me back down. "It's just so good to see you."

"You too. How was the flight?"

"Very fancy." Charlie's face twisted in a grimace. "Your private jet is far too much for me, Selena."

I rolled my eyes. "We were just trying to make you comfortable."

"He went right to sleep. They were the most luxurious seats I have ever sat in." Anna came up to me with a fairly softer hug.

"I'm glad you guys could come."

"Where's Justin?" Anna asked.

"He's at work. He'll be here soon." It was kind of a half-lie. Justin was upstairs in his office, which was locked and sealed. He asked not to be disturbed because he was dealing with a lot of shit right now. The embezzlement scandal was still going on, and he found out who our mystery stalker was, though, he evading my questions when I asked.

"Where would you like the bags, Mrs. Selena?" William asked me, carrying the few things that they brought.

"The guest room on the second floor," I said.

"I can do that," Charlie protested.

William shifted, escaping him, and went into the house.

"Now look here, Selena," Charlie huffed. "I won't have people waiting on me at all hours of the day. I can do things for myself."

"Dad, you're on vacation. Let someone else do something for a change."

"I don't need it."

"We know, Charlie. You're young and fit." Anna patted his back.

"You're damned right I am," he agreed, puffing out his chest.

I was about to respond when I heard the loud paws of Bosco on the floor of the foyer. I spun around. "Stop!"

He halted in front of the door and sat on his ass.

I breathed a sigh of relief, "That's the new dog."

"Oh, the one you sent us pictures of?" Anna went up to pat his head. "He doesn't seem overly enthusiastic to me."

"That's after weeks of training. It's like having another baby." I shut the door when they came inside.

"Speaking of, where are my grandkids?" Charlie asked.

"Upstairs, supposedly taking a nap, but they I think they're excited to see you."

We went inside where Gioni was waiting and took their coats. Once again, Charlie didn't approve.

"Selena, you have servants," he pointed out.

"Their family, Dad."

"Yeah, right." He rolled his eyes.

"We're going to be having lunch outside so you guys can relax." I led them through the house.

"This place is beautiful." Anna admired the paintings on the wall and soft carpet under her feet. "Even bigger than the last house."

"Justin is something of a connoisseur in the real estate market," I said, pushing open the doors to the back patio. A nice table was already set up.

"Because they all keep getting blown up," Charlie replied.

"Dad, if you're going to do this the whole time you're here, you might as well have stayed in Forks."

"No, I'm just kidding." He sat down. "What are we eating?"

"I figured I'd make some of your favorites. Hamburgers and fries."

"I never get to eat like this at home." He clapped his hands together.

"Because the doctor said you need to be healthier." Anna sat as well. "I won't have you dying in five years."

It was funny to me how wives worry about their husbands. I said the same thing to Justin. Anna and I couldn't be more different from each other, yet we both loved our husbands in a way that made us seem maybe a little too overbearing.

Carmela brought out a frosted glass and poured a Rainer beer. Charlie's eyes grew as it filled, and he took it from her with his mouth open. She curtsied, and then left.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"The beer angel. We keep her on staff just for you," I laughed.

"Seriously, Selena. Where did you find Rainer in Chicago?"

"I have my ways. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable here."

"I haven't had one of these in six months, at least." He took a big gulp.

Anna muttered, but didn't say anything. She instead took a small bite of her burger.

Francis nudged my leg under the table. I picked him up and sat him on my lap, but kept his mouth away from the table.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Charlie asked me.

"I already did. It's just easier to eat when I'm feeding the babies. They're on my schedule now."

"I can't wait until they wake up from their nap," Anna cooed. "I just love them so much. Will we be seeing much of Esme and Carlisle while we're here? Us grandparents need to talk shop."

"They'll be around. Everyone's really busy right now, but they all carved out lots of time over the next few days."

Charlie was clearly uncomfortable with spending time with the Biebers. He knew what they did, and I was sure he hated to think that I was one of them. On the few occasions that he's visited, Charlie seemed to be okay with Carlisle, though. It was hard to see that man as anything other than suave and charming. It was only when he turned into the mighty patriarch did you need to worry. Much like his son.

"We should have come at a different time. I knew we should wait," Anna said ruefully.

"No, it's fine," I assured her.

"We're more than happy to have you here." Justin swooped into the conversation with ease and superiority, unbuttoning his jacket as he took a seat next to me.

"There you are." I leaned over, taking off his glasses and kissed him.

Pleasantries were exchanged and Charlie was on his best behavior. He tightly smiled without his normal jabs or under the breath moans.

"I'm glad you guys could come for the babies' christening," Justin said, taking a small bite of his lunch. He looked tired, but kept his energy up. He wasn't sleeping anymore and only ate when I asked him to.

I took his hand, under the table, squeezing it lovingly. He squeezed back, telling me not to worry. I hated seeing him this way.

"It should be interesting. I've never been to a baptism before," Charlie said, sipping his beer. "Renee and I didn't think it was all that important with Selena."

"Yet she's adamant on Roman and Sophia being dunked into a pool of supposed, 'holy water'." Justin rolled his eyes.

"Now you're just making fun of me." I hit his leg. "You know this is important to the family."

"I agree with you, Selena," Anna said.

"Well, that's the boring part of your vacation. If you're up for it, we can go see a little baseball today, Charlie." Justin leaned back in his chair.

"That sounds fantastic," my father replied, sparkly-eyed and excited.

"Maybe you should have a nap," Anna suggested.

"I'm fine." He waved her off.

"I've already called my brothers and we're all going. It is opening day, after all. We can't pass that up, can we?"

"Absolutely not. I could never get Selena to watch baseball with me," Charlie complained.

"I watched; I just didn't participate in the usual conversation that went along with it. "

"She never understood it."

"I tried." I shrugged. "It never interested me. I'd rather read."

Justin and Charlie both shook their heads at me.

Two hours later, the entire Bieber family was over to our house. They fawned over Charlie and Anna, welcoming them into their arms. It had been a while since my father and I were on good enough terms for him to visit me in Chicago. This was a nice change.

"Selena, the babies look so cute today." Alice bounced Sophia on her knee, dressed in her Chicago White Sox onesie. I didn't know where Justin got it from, but both the babies were dressed for a win. I was on the floor, quickly changing Roman's diaper. He was giggling and waving his arms around, happy about the many voices in the room.

I kissed his stomach before putting his clothes back on.

"They're getting so heavy." I lifted him up.

"How have his lungs been?" Anna asked, patting Roman's back.

"Okay, not great. He has to have his inhaler every day, and he has his coughing fits, but the doctor said it will get better as he grows older."

"I hope so. Poor baby." She took him from me.

Justin came into the living room in a nice fitting pair of jeans and a jersey of his own. Somehow he was over and underdressed at the same time. His hair was freshly wet from his recent shower, and his face clean shaven. He looked healthy for the first time in days.

"Hey." He pulled me towards him when I stood up.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just working really hard. It'll all be over soon."

"Ominous, as usual."

"You don't want to know what I have up my sleeves."

We had to take three cars to Cellular Field, and since it was opening day, as Justin had said, the place was packed. Of course, the Biebers got special treatment; exclusive parking spaces, bypassing of security, uncrowded driving lanes. Charlie was very impressed.

"That was the fastest I've ever been through a baseball parking lot," he said as we started to unload the cars.

"Only the best for the family," Carlisle said, seemingly proud that he could dazzle the ex-head of police from Forks, Washington.

We were seated in a box that had been under Carlisle's name since the early nineties. I remembered coming here when Justin and I first started dating. That seemed so long ago, and I was so in awe of everything, much like Charlie was now.

"Your father seems to be having fun." Justin whispered to me as we sat on a comfortable couch. He pointed towards my father, who had his face pressed against the glass window, gazing onto the field.

"You're just hoping he forgets how you stole me away, and then married me." I picked Roman up. Sophia was sleeping, so I left her alone in her carrier.

"I will neither confirm nor deny that."

I was about to say something, but Amun was suddenly bending his head forward, whispering in Justin's ear. I couldn't hear, but Justin's face hardened slightly.

"Bring him in," he said with a strict voice and stood up.

"Justin, what is it?"

"Nothing, just stay seated," he instructed.

No one, but Carlisle seemed to be one edge. They didn't seem to notice or hadn't been informed of oncoming danger. I held Roman closer to me, just in case.

James Denali hobbled into the box, leaning heavily on a cane. He looked upbeat and entered with a smile, but I wasn't convinced. He disgusted me just as much as he did the first time I met him, which was ironically, in this very stadium.

The tension in the room was felt by everyone now, including Charlie, who was glaring James up like a suspect. He had that keen sense of character judgment that could sniff out the rats in any room.

James and Justin talked quietly for a couple of minutes. Everyone continued to converse amongst themselves, but it was just a facade, so that we weren't caught snooping.

Alec came and sat next to me, taking Roman and pushing a gun into my newly freed hands.

"Am I going to need this?" I asked.

"Justin told me to give it to you just in case. He doesn't like you unprotected with James so close."

"I'm always protected."

"Just in case," he stressed. "I don't even know why he's here."

"He looks kind of happy. I've never seen that before."

"Don't believe it."

I nodded, already pondering what kind of nonsense James might be plotting in his head.

Once he and Justin were done talking, he came over to me. "Selena, it's very nice to see you again."

"You as well." I nodded, not making a move to shake his hand. "How's your sister?"

"Tanya? She's always fine."

I could see Justin pacing close, trying to keep his distance. I'm sure he wanted to take me from the room, but kept Charlie occupied.

"That's good."

"And I see the babies are growing up well. We were all so happy to know that you were pregnant."

I didn't know what to say, so just awkwardly smiled. It was really weird, only made more so by the fact that I didn't know how to react to him.

"Well, it was nice see you again." James moved on to the next shake Jasper's hand.

It was quite strange to fake nice with that man.

He left half an hour later, after making everything horribly awkward. Justin came to sit back down, a little less agitated and wound up.

"Are you okay?" I asked, handing him Sophia. He calmed down, cradling her small sleeping body.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

I bit my lip, trying to choose my words carefully. "You don't seem like that was planned."

"It wasn't. Jackass decided to just show up."

"You're going to do something, aren't you?"

The slight glint in his eye told me that Justin was up to no good. He didn't answer me.

"Please, don't do anything with Charlie around," I begged. "I don't want you to scare him."

"I promise, everything will be alright." He pulled me towards me and kissed the top of my head.

The game started after a rousing rendition of the National Anthem by a local celebrity. Charlie was happy to be so close to the action. I don't think he ever took the time of to actually go see a baseball game, at least not while I was living with him. He was content to watch on his big screen at home.

Justin wasn't happy. James and a couple of other people I didn't know where in the glassed booth next to us. We could see them, but no one turned their heads. It would just make things stranger. There was an air of tension in our room that wasn't going anywhere, no matter what we did. Emmett kept the jokes going, and Justin made sure we were all fed great food, but something was wrong.

"We need to talk about the party?" Alice plopped down on the sofa next to me during a small break between innings.

"What party?"

"The party after the babies' christening. It'll be at the house and all the family is invited, of course."

"Right, and I want to cook."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why you insist on having you hand in everything. You have help for a reason."

"I want to cook. I couldn't for the Christmas party, but this time, I have a few good recipes I want to try."

"Oh, my God!" Alice screeched.

"What? I don't think it's that outrageous that I can cook. I have been doing it all my life, you know."

"No, not that. Look over there." She pointed to where James and his friends were situated in their booth. There was some kind of disruption going on and even though we couldn't head anything, it was obvious that they were freaking out.

James was on the floor, gripping his throat, and his face was beet red. He was writhing around in pain and white foam began to pour from his mouth.

"What the hell is going on?" Carlisle went to the window to get a better look.

"I think he's in pain, "Esme gasped. "Should we do something?"

"Maybe he's dying," Rose said.

"Call a fucking ambulance." Jasper fumbled through his pockets for his phone.

"Leave him be," Justin commanded, his voice low with power.

The room fell silent and everyone slunk back into their seats, not daring to look at what might be happening next to us. Charlie didn't seem at all shocked. He just shook his head and turned back to the game. Anna seemed confused, but Esme took the brunt of her questions as best as she could.

Justin didn't say anything to me for the rest of the game. Maybe he was ashamed, maybe he was mad, but he probably didn't care. He couldn't be bothered to care what anyone thought of his devious actions, let alone me.

I knew all about his hit list. One by one, murderous men around the city were secretly disappearing. I was sure if anyone had the balls to ask him, Justin would tell you outright that he was behind it.

James was another one down, and while Justin was cool on the outside, I was sure there was a small sense of satisfaction behind his stoic face.

JUSTINS POV

"Freedom to love is the greatest triumph in this world."

Everything Twilight related belongs to Stephanie Meyer

I sat behind the wheel of my silver Aston Martin, smoking out of the window, tapping my foot on the floor. Dare I say it… I was nervous. Just a little.

I was parked across the street of a kind of shitty part of town, but that didn't matter to me. I just wanted to make sure it was isolated. There were an abandoned grocery store and a couple empty shops around, none of which would be missed very much.

I sat and waited.

My phone rang a couple of times and Selena's name flashed on the screen, but I didn't bother picking up. I didn't want to speak to her right now because I wasn't in a pleasant state. She was mad at me for pulling that stunt at the baseball game, but her anger had subsided over the past few days.

I smoked four cigarettes before a black car pulled into the grocery store parking lot across the street. I perked up a little when I saw Jacob Black get out and look around. He seemed calm and collected, not the least bit worried about what his future held. He trusted me too much. It would be his downfall.

I got out of the car and slammed the door shut before walking across the pavement.

"You better have a good reason for calling me out here at nine in the morning on a Saturday. I was sleeping." Black crossed his arms.

I shrugged.

"You look like shit," he demanded with an aggressive tone that I wasn't all too pleased about.

"So do you," I said, even though he really didn't. While I was wasting away, he was getting even more muscular and menacing.

"Is there a reason why I'm here? I haven't heard anything about you in a couple of months. They're lying low, leaving you alone."

"I'm not here to talk about business." I leaned against his car. "This is more of a personal conversation."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We never got to discuss what happened a couple of years ago and I felt like now would be as good a time as any."

"What are you talking about?"

"How you treated Selena and my family. I never got a chance to give you a fucking punch for it."

"That was just protocol, Justin. You know that. We had information and I was required to bring Selena in."

"No, you didn't. You wanted me and couldn't find anything so you decided to shit on the most important thing in my life. Admit it." I stood up a little straighter.

"We're not teenagers. I had a job to do. I can't help it if your feelings were hurt."

"You took her from me and then proceeded to drag her through the mud in front of everyone. Selena didn't deserve that."

"Then you should have given yourself up. This is just your fault as much as it is mine. Okay, yes, maybe I had some personal thing against you, but don't make me out to be the bad guy. You were a coward and you should have come out of hiding."

"I couldn't do that!" I slammed my fist against his car, and it made a loud bang.

"Then you really should be mad with yourself," he said smugly. "If you want to bring up all this old shit, then you need to come to the realization that I was just doing my job. You brought her into this life and now she can't leave."

"I love her and by some miracle, she loves me. She shouldn't have been thrown into some jail because of my mistakes. You took out your anger on her and just piled everything on at once."

"I'm not doing this today, Justin." He opened the car door to get in, but I closed it forcefully.

"You should have known that when you hurt her, you weren't going to get away with it."

"I'm not afraid of you, Justin. I never have been. It's a wonder that we've been able to work together these past few months, but if you push my buttons, I'll have you in court faster than you can blink."

"I look forward to it." I stepped even closer to him.

"Back away, Justin." He opened up his jacket, revealing a shiny new gun to try and intimidate me.

"You broke up my family and you're not going to get away with it."

"Get over it. That was years ago. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to suffer like I did," I admitted, my voice cold.

"Was it all that bad, anyway?" He threw his hands up in the air. "Look at you now. You have a gorgeous wife, your family back, kids. You have a happy ending, while the rest of us have to cover up your shit. I work my ass off to keep the Feds away from you."

"As it should be," I exclaimed. "I've dealt with the worst kinds of people in my life, but you are by far the most horrid human being on the face of the earth."

"You're so dramatic." He rolled his eyes.

"There's nothing worse than a corrupt cop who steps on people to get his way. You put my wife in danger and caused me too much strife over the past few years. It seems like any issues I have, the root always starts at your office."

"Fuck you, Justin."

"I've punished everyone I've seen as a threat except for you, but your time is up, Jacob Black."

"You're pathetic. Am I all you have to live for? Your revenge is starting to kill you and we can't change the past so just let it go."

I clenched my fists together and had to push down the aggressive thoughts that were seeping into my head. There were so many things I could do to torture this man. But I let go of the door and he stood there with beady black eyes.

"Your time is up," I repeated and turned to walk away. My shoes clicked on the street and by the time I reached my car, he still hadn't gotten in his.

I was back behind the wheel, smoking a cigarette, just watching him. Black finally sank into his car, and I heard the ignition start through the open window.

There was a gigantic explosion through the vehicle into the air, and a plume of orange fire shot into the clear sky. Almost immediately, smoke began to rise and seemed to go up forever. The car burned quickly and rested on its side, flaming violently.

I turned the key of the Aston Martin and made a calm turn onto the street to go home.

"There you are." Katy Nana had her hands on her hips as I came in through the garage door. "We've been waiting for over an hour. Everyone's almost ready to head to the church."

"I know. I had some business."

"It's always business," she muttered, pushing me out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I made my way through the house, trying to be quiet so that no one would stop to talk. Unfortunately, I didn't have such luck.

Charlie popped his head out of the guestroom as I passed. "Oh, I thought you were Selena." He was tying a dark blue tie around his neck.

"No, I think she's getting dressed in our room."

"Right." He nodded and went to close the door, but then stopped and sniffed the air. "Do you smell that?"

"No," I shrugged, sticking my hands into my pocket. This man was probably the only person on the face of the planet who could make me feel like a wrongdoing teen. Not even Carlisle had that power.

"It's like something's burning…." His mustache twitched.

"Cigarettes," I answered. "I had a few earlier."

I began to walk away before he could ask more questions.

"You know, I'm not stupid, Justin," he said. "I've been around many fires in my day and I know the difference between smoke from a cigarette and that of something a little stronger say… an explosion of some kind."

I stopped, but didn't dare turn around.

"Don't treat me like an idiot," he slammed the door shut.

I began striping out of my clothes down the hallway and was naked by the time I got to my room. Selena was stumbling into a pair of heels, her body draped in a beautiful dark blue dress.

"You're here," she cried. "Thank God. I thought you were going to be late."

"I told you I'd get here in time."

"We're supposed to be at the church in an hour, which means we need to leave soon."

"Let me just get a shower." I walked past her to the bathroom, but she caught my hand, pulling me back.

"I didn't get to see you this morning before you left."

"I didn't want to wake you." I placed my head on her shoulder, bending down quite a ways. I kissed her neck.

"You sound exhausted."

"I know, but I'm so relieved."

"Relieved?"

"You have no idea," I sighed. It was over. Well, the hard part was over. There was a lot more troubles to come, probably sooner than I hoped, but I would have to handle them later.

Selena lifted my head up. "What have you been doing, Mr. Bieber?"

I kissed her full lips tenderly. She tasted like some kind of fruit and made a soft noise when my mouth hit hers. Every time I came home, Selena reminded me why I loved her and how my life would be different if she wasn't here. Everything I did was for her and my family. They might hate me sometimes, but I was doing everything in my power to protect them.

"Selena, I want you know that I love you," I whispered. "I'm sorry for any pain you've had because of me, but I love you. I really do."

She seemed confused and smiled. "I know, Justin. You're an absolutely insane man, but I know you love me."

I nodded. As long as she knew that, I could face what was sure to be a rough future.

Half an hour later, our caravan of cars were making their way into the city. I was driving with Selena sitting next to me, Roman and Sophia in the back. They looked rather pious in their traditional christening stark white outfits, complete with puffy caps. Always the fashionista, Sophia was more than happy to wiggle against the silky fabric. She had a smile on her face that even made my icy heart warm. Roman was less than pleased, pouted and pulling at his clothes to be set free.

Selena took another picture, the flash illuminating the whole car.

"You're going to blind them," I warned her.

"They'll be fine." She reached behind her to fix Roman's hat, which had come askew for the hundredth time. Dark brown hair fell out of the sides and his green eyes were pleading with me to get him into something more comfortable.

"Sorry, buddy," I said regretfully. "You're stuck in that thing for at least another couple of hours."

The christening would be a small gathering at the church, but the reception afterwards was supposed to be an immense party. Not only was the entire family coming, but some business associates of mine, political figures, and many less than savory characters were as well. I was assured everyone would be on their best behavior.

Alec, as the proud godfather, was nervous about his future duties and requested that he give some sort of speech. I didn't think that was tradition at a baptism reception, but he demanded it. He had been working on putting something together for two weeks now. He refused to let me hear any of it.

We chose Rosalie as godmother to the children. No matter how much of a raging bitch that woman was, I couldn't think of anyone better to care for my babies than her if something should happen. Of course, Emmett had to agree to that as well, which he did.

Renee couldn't make it on account of Phil having minor emergency shoulder surgery. She wanted to stay home with him, but Charlie and Anna were still here, so Selena didn't mind. She seemed happy as ever just to have her family around. Before we left the house, Cici called, informing us that she wouldn't be able to make it due to her travel plans changing.

Esme thought that Cici might not want to be around us anymore after Nicola's death. It hurt her too much. Selena kept telling me that she knew the two were secretively in love. I would never have believed her, but the evidence was starting to stack up.

Selena kept the babies entertained on the drive, swinging colorful toys in front of their faces that they tried to catch with their small hands.

"It's amazing how much they've grown," I said.

"I know. They're so cute. The cutest things in the world."

I nodded in agreement.

Selena turned on the music system and some horrid children's song filled my ears. I immediately switched on something classical.

"I will not allow that nonsense in this car." I shook my head.

"Justin, they like your music too, but sometimes they just want their children's stuff." She put her hand on my arm to sooth me.

"I don't care."

"You're kind of grumpy today. Is everything all right?"

I sighed heavily, "It will be."

Selena nodded, but she wasn't convinced.

Our cars pulled up to the church, where Father O'Brien was waiting on the steps.

"They couldn't give us an Italian priest?" I said gruffly as I got out of the car and retrieved Roman from the backseat.

"I requested him," Selena replied, getting Sophia.

"Why? You know I hate that man."

"He's always been good to us. He seemed like the best fit. Be nice," she warned.

The entire Bieber clan, plus Charlie and Anna, walked towards the church. I kept Roman close to my chest, wrapped in his tiny white blanket. He was ready to fall asleep, but the excitement of the day was forcing him to stay awake.

"There they are. The babies of the hour," Father O'Brien stated proudly, his light Irish accent seeping through his speech. He was dressed in a long white robe and dark green sash with gold accents around the edges.

He held his hands out for Roman, but I backed up a little.

"Now, Justin, we must put the past behind us. I'm baptizing your children, for goodness sakes."

Selena intervened, "And we're so thankful that you were available."

"Of course. Anything for you." He hugged her.

"See, Justin, this isn't so bad." Emmett clapped me on the shoulder. "Baptisms are supposed to give babies strength and luck in the future."

"It's a silly ritual." I said under my breath, trying to unnecessarily shield Roman as much as possible from the church.

"We were all christened and we turned out fine," Jasper pointed out.

"Justin, your tie is a mess." Esme snatched my son from my hands and gave him to Carlisle. She pulled me down to her level by my collar and began fixing it. "You should know better than this."

"I was in a rush," I admitted shamefully.

"This is a very important day. You need to be on your best behavior."

"Why is everyone telling me that? I'm a grown man. I know how to act in public."

"Is Selena keeping you in line?" She grinned. "Bless that girl for putting up with you."

Everyone began filing into the church, and I took Roman back from Carlisle. It was fairly empty inside except for a small group of choir boys that stood behind the pulpit with smiles on their faces. I'm sure they could care less about being in church on a Saturday afternoon, and I didn't blame them.

Soft candles were lit around the sanctuary, and there was a sweet aroma of vanilla in the air. A holy water font stood at the pulpit, and I literally shuddered at the sight of it.

"Maybe I am the devil," I joked to myself.

"You all can sit in the front pews," Father O'Brien instructed us. "Do we have everyone here?"

"Yes," I said, making a show of checking my watch.

Selena grabbed my hand and whispered to me, "Please stop being so agitated. I don't know why this bothers you, but it's important to me. So please..."

She looked at me with that face. It wasn't angry or mean or scolding. It was pleading, almost hurtful. I was literally about to crumble.

"All right." I nodded.

Charlie chuckled softly from his seat behind us.

The service began as Father O'Brien said a few words about innocence and how this was a sacred day that should be taken seriously. As much as I wanted to huff and roll my eyes, I refrained. As Selena said, this was important to her, so it in turn became semi-important to me. She told me that she never had a religion to guide her growing up. Our children were bound to have difficult lives ahead of them, so Selena thought that anything we could provide in protection was valuable, including religion.

After Father's words, the boys' choir sang a couple of Latin hymns. Jasper hummed along, being a choir boy himself back in the day.

"I now call the parents to bring the babies forward to be presented for baptism. The Godparents are also invited to join."

Selena and I carried Roman and Sophia up to the front steps of the pulpit. They were both wide awake and had been fairly good throughout the service, although, I wasn't sure how much longer that was going to last. Sophia was already getting a little testy. Rose and Alec followed us.

"All right, so ladies first," Father O'Brien whispered and smiled at Selena, who was holding Sophia.

He cleared his throat, "Justin and IsaSelena Bieber are today presenting their daughter for Christian baptism. Christian baptism signifies for this young child God's gracious acceptance on the basis of prevenient grace. It is an acknowledgement of God's grace at work in the life of this child within the care of her mother and father and extended family, and under the nurture of this community of Faith."

He then spoke to us directly, "Justin and IsaSelena, do you desire for your daughter Sophia to be baptized."

"We do," we responded. Selena seemed relieved that I actually replied. I felt like I was getting married again.

Father O'Brien continued. "To this end it is your duty to teach Sophia, as soon as she is able to learn, the nature of this holy sacrament; to watch over her education, that she may not be led astray; to direct her feet to the sanctuary; to restrain her from evil associates and habits, and as much as in you lies, to bring her up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

"We will," we replied, yet again.

He then turned to Alec and Rosalie. "Godparents fill as special role in the life of a child. Do you, as the godparents of this child, promise to share responsibility with Justin and IsaSelena for this precious child, to pray for her, and to help her take her place within this world?"

Alec and Rosalie responded with a, "We will," of their own.

Father O'Brien spoke to me, "Justin, what name have you given your child?"

"Sophia Verena Bieber," I answered.

My baby girl...

He took Sophia from Selena. "Sophia Verena Bieber, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

Father took a small challis and dipped in the pool of water in front of us, pouring drops of water on Sophia's forehead. She squirmed in his hands, and I wanted to snatch her away from him, but kept myself under control.

We repeated the same thing with our son, giving him the name Roman Telemachus Bieber. He was far more aggressive than his sister and didn't sit still for anything. He didn't like Father's strange hands and cried softly as he was being baptized. He quieted down as soon as Selena took him.

We did a final prayer and then it was over.

"That wasn't that bad, was it?" Selena kissed my cheek. "You made it without bursting into flames or disintegrating into a pile of ash."

"Imagine that," I chuckled.

Charlie, being on the warmer side than usual, shook my hand and gave me a few words of congratulations. Alec wouldn't relinquish hold of Roman and was smiling so big that I thought his face would burst. Jane was trying to take the baby from him, but he wouldn't allow it. Sophia was being passed around from my mother, to Anna, to Alice.

As I looked around, I wondered just how much longer this peaceful picture could last.

As I was packing up the babies' diaper bags for the trip home, I heard the wailing sirens of police cars in the distance. No one else seemed to hear them. The sounds quieted and I hoped that maybe the cars had passed by, but I knew better.

"Are you ready to go?" Selena threaded her fingers through mine, shocking me back to reality.

"Yes." I nodded.

The family began walking towards the large church doors. I took my steps slowly and deliberately. I was thinking about what I should say to Selena. I didn't have enough time to actually make some kind of speech, but I had to say something.

"I love you." I pulled her closer to my body, whispering into her hair. I kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She rested her hand on my chest as we walked.

Carlisle was the first to the door. I think he knew, but he cracked it open before shutting it quickly. His hand rested against the wood and bowed his head.

"Carlisle, hurry, we need to get back to the house for the reception," Esme said, holding Sophia close to her.

"I don't think we're going to have time for a reception today," he replied.

"Like hell we don't!" Alice protested. "I've been planning this thing for two months."

Carlisle turned to us and kept his back to the door. "I think everyone should find another exit."

Everyone seemed to have various forms of anger towards him for not letting them through. Except Selena. Her breath hitched and she clutched at the fabric of my shirt, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I repeated.

"Don't leave," she whispered.

"I have to."

"We can go back to Brazil... We can run away."

"I can't run anymore. My time is up."

"Justin, no." She pushed me against the far wall, into a dark corner. "You're not going out there. I won't let you."

I kissed the tears away from her cheeks. "Selena, you're strong. We're strong. We will get through whatever happens. I promise you."

"I can't..." She shook her head, hugging me close.

"It's going to be okay."

"When will I be able to see you again?"

"Jenks is going to do everything in his power to get me out. I pay him enough." I laughed quietly.

"I won't let them take you away," she vowed.

I actually said a silent prayer that she wouldn't be too angry with me because of all this shit. I had put her through so much, but she was always there. Would this be the last straw? I hoped not.

"Carlisle what is going on?" Emmett demanded.

"Everything's going to be fine." I stepped out of the shadows, pulling Selena with me.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked her.

I tried to pry my hands from Selena's, but she wouldn't let me go. I had to literally pick up one finger at a time and fight all of her strength.

I kissed Roman and Sophia on their heads. They were both sleeping now. I whispered how much they meant to me and didn't realize that this was going to be so hard. It was the closest I had ever come to crying in my life.

I think it was obvious to everyone now what was going on. Or what might happen within the next couple of minutes.

I turned away from them all and went towards the doors. Carlisle sadly smiled and hugged me. I didn't react at first, but placed my arms around him after a long second.

I didn't look at my family as I opened the door. Maybe it was shame or just embarrassment, but I didn't want them to see my face.

The entire street outside of the church was lined with police cars on both sides. There must have been fifty of them, their red and blue lights flashing aggressively. Officers stood on the sidewalks and pointed guns from the roofs across the street.

It was very overdramatic and unnecessary, if you ask me.

Embry fucking Call spoke deeply into a loudspeaker. "Justin Bieber, drop your weapons."

"I don't have any," I called back, stepping out from the church further. I raised my hands up and flashed my hands to show him.

"Take off your jacket slowly," he instructed.

I did as he said and placed my jacket on the ground.

A group of officers stormed up the stairs and placed me roughly against the stoned wall of church. I grunted in pain as they slammed my face into the brick and patted me down.

"Justin Bieber, you are under arrest for the murder of Jacob Black..."

I couldn't really hear what was happening, but I knew people were yelling. Probably Selena. Possibly Carlisle. Maybe Esme. I didn't want to know.

The officers led me down the stairs and towards the police cars. I was roughly shoved in. The diamond-shaped grid on the window prevented me from seeing clearly.

I frantically tried to find Selena in the mass of police officers and cars and commotion. Maybe it was best that I didn't see her. I would surely have broken down.

Embry sat up front as the car began to drive away. "I'm sorry we have to do this. But you have fucked us over one too many times."

I didn't respond.

"Well, Justin… I guess this is the end for you."

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