#i blame both apoptoses and desertfangs for this sad thought | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rainbowcarousels · 2 years ago

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Do you ever think about how Armand - who has a personal attendance love language for so many people and spent literally years caring for Daniel as a mortal from shaving him to caring for the day to day when things got bad - probably struggles so much with the fact that when Daniel was at his worst, he wasn't there to take care of him?

It's not about fault, he was going through life and death levels of trauma and given their parting, likely didn't even even know Daniel wasn't doing well till long after the fact. I was just thinking of how hard it has to be for someone who sees taking care of someone as an act of love to deal with not being the one doing that for his first born. He wasn't able to give him something he needed and it's Armand, it feels like that would dig under his skin and take root with an unpleasant sense of disconnection between them.

They were each others safe space and it wasn't there when either of them needed that. It's so heartbreaking.

#i blame both apoptoses and desertfangs for this sad thought #i was thinking about how in apoptoses' latest fic daniel talks about how safe he feels in Armand's hands #and loves the way he pushes him and cares for him #and that they want to know each other inside and out #and how god damn awful it has to feel that these huge things happened and neither of them were apart of it #but as much as i usually focus on how daniel feels having to deal with not being there when Armand 'died'#it has to be hard for armand knowing that daniel went through his delirium and needed caring for #and he didn't know or wasn't in shape to do it #and it's a part of each other that must feel cut off #desertfangs does a lovely job of looking at armand finding out and trying to deal in her fic #but this hurt me today #vc #armandblr

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