#i bet most of them will be silent storms tbh

[raindrops-in-a-storm]

Yay, another one

Whoopee, another late night tear fest! Not as late night, I suppose, since this was more of an evening storm. But I journaled about it again :) I rather enjoy this journaling thing—it’s a good way to get my feelings out. Even if I’m not consistent about it, I kinda like having my most emotional days chronicled somewhere.

This note is a whole lot longer than the last one, and sort of turned into a letter to my dad near the end. I’ll post it under a keep reading, but be warned—it’s emotional.

I want to just leave. Is that too much to ask? I just want to…I want to get out of this house. I want not really independence, but independence from my family. My parents. Dad, mostly, but also mom. I want to be away from Didi’s phone calls (to have an excuse even if she calls). I want…space? Or…not…exactly space, because mom and dad go to work and I’m alone a lot, but…it’s never enough. Is that selfish? Greedy? Me rationalizing wasting my life? (Just dramatic.) But I am wasting my life. It’s not even…I don’t see the judgement in other people’s eyes anymore, but is that because it’s not there or because I don’t care anymore (I have enough of my own)? The words are almost rehearsed: I’m taking a few classes, mostly relaxing, enjoying. While [new college friend] gets certified, while others do internships, while the juniors apply to college (and I want them to get into good schools, I do, I just don’t want to deal with the…judgements? Thoughts of my own? The attention, again, on how I failed). That again. I failed, but also…people didn’t expect it. I’ve always done so well at acting like another gifted child. I’ve always done so well at hiding bad grades and sadness behind a smile and a veneer of cheerfulness. Everyone…everyone thinks I’m smart. That I have top grades, that it’s easy. Even now, when I’ve so obviously failed—the juniors (mostly) take it as the college process being hard, or me not displaying myself perfectly, or something else, but there isn’t a doubt about my stats (are they doubting now, though? My honesty has started to shine though, I’ve stopped holding myself back so much—are they starting to see the cracks?). In the chem class for goodness sake! Ainjell thinks I’m so smart, and so do some of the others (even if they haven’t said it, I recognize those looks. …that’s funny…). I’m not though. Dad is hoping again and I hate it because I’m going to fail again and he’s going to be disappointed again and and and I want to leave already. I want to just go to college. I’ve been waiting for this since middle school, since everything started falling apart and didi and bhaiya came home with stories of how wonderful college was. Since I was alone in 6th grade and making mistakes in 7th grade, and distraught at the beginning of 8th grade (remember that party? Remember [old best friend K]’s almost angry look, remember how hurt I was when none of them showed up, remember how much I missed [old town]?). Since [high school classmate J] and [high school classmate H] became besties and I was left on the side, since I looked around and realized that the day students had their own little cliche—and that I wasn’t in it. Since I joined the “Breakfast Club” but was never really part of it (and why is that haunting me, even now? Especially now, why is that what I turn to for the sad dreams, the catalyst for pity and loneliness?). And then, realizing that [high school] wasn’t a new chapter, but a continuation of the same old story, when I started pulling away from my family and letting go around friends and joining Discord and giving up. And then junior year and work and dying inside but also being offered hope again because I could start over in college. Because by then I didn’t want to make things work with mom and dad. Because I had given up on them understanding me (and yeah, I hoped later. I tried. Maybe not as hard as I should have, but can you blame me? Maybe it’s me rationalizing again, too many days and nights of imagining and twisting, but something inside me holds onto the thought that you never gave me reason to trust you. You never proved that you would support me, would understand, would even try to understand. Because had you, in the past? Had you actually tried to understand? Or was it the same questions, over and over again—what happened?—with the same stupidly condescending and disappointed and superior and infuriating but so, so hurtful tone? The number of days I came home to the tired wave-off, the “stop asking useless questions,” the barely answering about your day until I only did it as habit or to delay you asking me about mine, the snide remarks about sitting down all the time when I goddamn walked more than you did at my freaking boarding school that’s constantly compared to a college campus and then returned home after freaking dark so you can just shut the hell up). Because by junior year, I was more than ready to leave. Because if my spark was reignited at all that year (and the next), it was because I found friends (not best friends, but good friends) that I trusted and let my guard down around, and because I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Because I could almost reach it—because I had a countdown, and maybe I didn’t acknowledge it right away, but a large part of that countdown was getting away from you. Because I’m not didi and bhaiya, and they still got space growing up. Because maybe I’m more broken (and what does it say that I’m okay admitting that? That I believe that without a doubt?), but I needed validation and support and friends who I could trust (because I goddamn couldn’t trust all of you with the truth, not without a hell of a lot more heartbreak and tears. And maybe it was weak of me to give up. But I did, and nothing can change that). And say what you want about my “evil” high school—wax poetic about how it changed me and hurt me and whatever else—but I found friends there. I might have also found Bs and Cs and even Ds, and left a much less confident person, but for the first time in my whole life, I found people that I could just be with. I found space to grow (maybe in the wrong direction) and space to keep secrets (maybe from you) and space to try things (and maybe fail miserably) but I never had that before. And maybe you think of it as mostly negatives. Maybe you see my more frequent tears and more frequent stubbornness and huffs and sarcastic one-liners and blame [high school] and yearn for the little girl I once was. But I don’t care. Well. I mean, I do care, because I want a time machine too, but I don’t care as much as I used to. And okay, maybe that’s because failure is like an old friend to me and my heart hurts a little less every time I see it, but maybe it’s because I’ve learned that failure isn’t…life-ending. Maybe I’m not didi or bhaiya or you or mom. Maybe I haven’t skipped grades or gotten in the newspaper at 13 or gotten into Harvard. Maybe I’m not a genius. Maybe I’m not as smart as you (as we) thought. But I am smart. I am doing better than some people. I’m not at the bottom. I’m getting 90s and 100s. I skipped a whole semester because of APs (I got actual awards because I did well on my APs). I’m going to a good college, even if it isn’t an Ivy. I’ve found stable ground (even if it shakes sometimes)—and the fact that you guys aren’t automatically part of it anymore? The fact that your pride and genuine interest in my rambles are extra instead of expected? Well, maybe you think that’s a negative. But me? My heart, my sense of self, my slowly-rebuilding confidence? I think it’s a positive. I think there’s no question about it. Because I know you care. I know you love me, I know you expect the world because you honestly believe I can do it, I know that you wouldn’t care at the end of the day if I become a doctor or a dropout. And yeah, maybe that is part of my foundation because I don’t question it. But the fact is, I’m a teenage girl. I’m a teenage girl who has two, shining older siblings and parents who did amazing for themselves. I’m a teenage girl who went to five different schools in five years—maybe the most important five years of her life—and was expected to stay afloat while also skipping ahead in math almost every year and doing extracurriculars. I’m a teenage girl who has always had a tight friend group and has always seen her family have tight friend groups and who expected a lot from middle and high school but never expected that she would struggle to make friends. I’m a teenage girl who never dealt with proper failure until it slammed me in the face and then came back to kick my butt once I could see clearly again—and then did it again, and again, and again. And I’m a teenage girl who yeah, didn’t reach out for help in the perfect way, who was scared of disappointment and hid her mistakes until it was too late, but you’re the dad that didn’t realize what was happening. You’re the dad that was so excited with his new job(s) that he didn’t pay attention to home. Who relaxed after sending his oldest kids to the top college in the country and assumed that his part was mostly done. You’re the dad that casually expected but barely questioned, that worked hard during the day and came back exhausted, that didn’t realize (and hardly does now) that his kids weren’t mirror images of himself, that relied on luck when he should have known better. And maybe I used to have that potential. Maybe, if things had gone perfectly, I would also be going to Harvard—or maybe I would have gotten into one of the BS/MD programs. Maybe I would be the queen bee of my school, and already be acing my classes, and would be hella confident and kind and cheerful and pretty and thin and the perfect daughter. The best of didi and bhaiya, of mom and you. But that’s not me anymore. That cloud has drifted away—and you need to accept that. I have (or, I’m trying at least). You need to stop hoping. You need to stop mentioning how smart I am in that wistful voice. You need to stop expecting me to suddenly become this straight-A daughter who tells you everything because that’s not me anymore. That’s not going to happen anymore, and definitely not with the ease you seem to expect. Sure, I’m gonna (try to) work my butt off in college because I do want to be a doctor. Sure, I’m gonna try to be more open and honest with you guys. But I’ve also learned how to keep secrets. I’ve learned how to hide my tears. I’ve learned that trusting non-family members doesn’t always end in betrayal and heartbreak (although it sometimes does, and I’ve learned that lesson too). I’ve learned that you aren’t Superman, and you can’t fix every hurt, and you aren’t going to be the most kind or sensitive or even caring enough all of the time. I’ve learned that you’ve grown old and weary, and don’t always want to tangle with my emotions and problems all the time. And that’s okay; really, it is. Because now I don’t expect it. There might be times when I look at how you treated didi and bhaiya with bitterness—I’m not perfect, and I know that I’ll resent them many more times in the future—but now there’s a part of me that’s said goodbye to that version of you. This version of you leaves before I wake up (or is on the computer until he leaves) and returns in the evening, only to be on the phone with his boss or puttering with his fascinating Tesla. This version of you eats dinner (with a computer or phone most of the time) and lively chat, but then goes to his spot on the couch and stays on his chosen device for a while before he inevitably falls asleep. Or watches a movie. But this version of you barely has time to talk unless it’s urgent (and even then is sleepy or grumpy half the time) or we’re in the car (and he’s driving). This version of you complains at prodding and snaps at stubbornness and scoffs at “useless” curiosity. This version of you refuses to change. (Okay, maybe I’ve accepted it, but it clearly still bothers me. A lot. And maybe I should have known that, since that is what prompted this whole…mind dump in the first place. But hey, a girl can dream.) But anyway. You wanted me to journal my excitement for college didi? Well here it is. My true motivations for wanting to go to college. Too bad none of you will ever read it.

[st0rmyskies]

Hewwo my belovd! This amphibian hops on every question from 1-50 for the Zelda asks 💖

Toadbae I Tried but I couldn't do them all. Here's the ones I found interesting!

1. Is there a Zelda game(s) that you associate with each season or time of year?

Yes! I’m pretty sure I got TP for Christmas one year and I always associate playing that with the abysmal darkness that is winter in the northern hemisphere. Also rather theme-appropriate to the game tbh.

2. Favourite 2D title?

I haven’t played a single 2D Zelda yet.

3. Favourite incarnation of Zelda?

Ahhh that’s a hard question! OoT Zelda holds such a special place in my heart as my first Zelda, but Dusk is so gorgeous and looks like she just never smiles (love that for her), but then Tetra is such a badass, and SS Zelda is such a sweetheart, BotW Zelda has such incredible characterization and growth… I can’t choose!!

4. Least favourite entry in the series?

Gonna get my ass beat by a breakfast food for this one, but honestly?? TP. It’s the only title I didn’t immediately pick up and play through a second time. I bet I’d feel differently if I picked it up again today, though.

5. Favourite LOZ soundtrack?

If we’e going with game as a whole, absolutely BotW’s soundtrack. The beautiful melancholy of riding around Hyrule to the notes of songs half-remembered just soothes my brain, and hearing Termina’s clocktower chime in the Hyrule Castle interior theme legit made me tear up.

6. Is there a Zelda game that intimidates you/looks too hard?

Not really! Zelda titles are always super fun and challenging, but never “hard.” The only game I’ve stopped for being hard/scary was RE4.

7. Favourite dungeons?

OoT Water Temple, MM Stone Tower, SS Ancient Cistern. I love dungeons that are huge puzzles!!

9. Least favourite character in the series?

Honestly, Midna. Her redemption arc never satisfied me, but I am the type to hold a grudge.

11. Favourite Ganon characterization?

WW’s Ganondorf was the most sympathetic of his incarnations imo, he had an interesting motivation and I felt bad for him, honestly. Dude deserved better.

15. Favourite location within Hyrule?

That depends on the game, tbh. In SS, it’s the Lanayru Desert (AND the Silent Realms). Kakariko Village is usually pretty solid no matter the game.

16. Favourite location outside of/parallel to Hyrule (Termina, Lorule, Holodrum, Subrosia, the Dark World, Labrynna, the Great Sea, etc)?

On the Great Sea, the Tower of the Gods.

In Termina, Ikana Canyon.

22. Favourite incarnation of Link?

My fav Link will always be my OG, OoT/MM Link.

25. Favourite companion (Midna, Ezlo, Navi, etc)?

Honestly Fi was pretty legit. I appreciated the subtle sass.

31. Hardest dungeon played?

Back to my favs: OoT Water Temple, SS Ancient Cistern. They’re difficult to figure out but so satisfying when you do!

32. Game with the best map design?

BotW, I could literally get lost on that map for days (and I have!).

33. Do you prefer puzzles or combat?

Absolutely puzzles. Combat is just mashing buttons and timing, but the puzzles actually use my brain.

35. Game with the hardest final boss?

Demise is the only final boss who killed me MULTIPLE TIMES.

38. Creepiest enemy?

Anyone who doesn’t answer Dead Hand is lying to themselves and Hylia.

41. Favourite ocarina song?

Song of Storms.

43. Favourite transformation mask from Majora's Mask?

Obvi the Fierce Deity mask.

44. Hardest sidequest in the series?

I’m not sure this qualifies as a “sidequest” but that goddamn motherfucking asshole in SS with the carnival game that shoots you in the air can suck my dick. I never got that piece of heart. I wanted to wrap that horn around his THROAT.

45. Best sidequest in the series?

The Anju and Kafei sidequest from MM is probably the most memorable, but the fetch quests in SS were pretty fun.

50. Favourite shield?

Goddess Shield is so pretty, even if the colors make my eyes bleed just a lil.

[snitches-at-dawn]

girl in red || h.g.

request- can you do a wlw for hermione?

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this! it’s my first wlw and i’m a bit nervous tbh xx

word count- 1.3k

warnings- strong language

i saw hermione granger for the first time and my heart stopped. i remember it was in potions class on my second day at hogwarts- i had transferred in from ilvermorny when i was fourteen.

i almost fell into the dungeons after having lost my way about twelve times from dumbledore’s office where he had sorted me into slytherin- i figured that would be like horned serpent- the house i was in.

i stuttered an apology to the professor with greasy hair- snape his name was i learned later, and sat down next to blaise. our parents were friends and we always met whenever he and his mother visited massachusetts. 

“draco’s looking at you,” blaise muttered under his breathe to me as i pulled out my book, “the boy i told you about last summer when we met.”

“does he know i’m as gay as they come?” i asked laughingly.

“of course not,” blaise scoffed and handed me half his ingredients.

i looked at him with a smile, “you don’t plan on telling him do you?”

it took all of my effort to not laugh at his smirk which clearly said no.

“who’s that girl?” i asked, “in the red tie with those two boys?” i gasped, “is that harry potter?”

“that’s hermione granger,” blaise said with a sour look on his face, “with potter and weasley- they’re in gryffindor. slytherins and gryffindors are mortal enemies.”

“who cares? she’s gorgeous,” i breathed.

blaise looked at me sharply, “(y/n)- no. gryffindors are off limits for slytherins and vice versa. shag whoever the fuck you want, just not one of them. as far as gryffindors are concerned- consider yourself to be on an eternal no nut november.”

“but-”

“no ‘but’s, (y/n),” blaise cut me off, “you can’t.”

so i spent two long years rejecting boys who didn’t understand the concept of ‘not attracted to penis’ and pansy who got very handsy when drunk. i settled for wistful glances at her from afar. 

in my sixth year, i finally got a chance in potions. draco and i had become fast friends since i told him i was gay and we bonded over our love for girls. something was wrong with him today though- he wouldn’t tell me what so i left him huffing and took the only other unoccupied table. to my luck, hermione granger walked in- without her two flunkies for once

she was wearing that red tie again that suited her eyes so much.

“hi,” i heard her voice from behind me, “can i sit here? i don’t know anyone and i really don’t want to sit with the ravenclaws or malfoy.”

“of course you can,” i smiled and moved my bag so she could take the seat next to me.

blaise was glaring daggers across the room at me with warning eyes which i dutifully ignored.

“you haven’t lost your accent yet,” she said softly.

i laughed a bit, elated that she had noticed something about me, “i don’t really want to, to be honest. you guys talk so fast- i’d hate to lose the pace at which i speak for your accent and unfortunately they seem to come hand in hand.”

“i like the way you speak- and it’s quite brave of you to not feel like you have to change to fit in. very gryffindor of you.” she replied.

i blushed bright red and was saved from answering by slughorn and his belly which moved independent of him.

the next time hermione granger spoke to me was in charms class. she silently slid her ink pot towards me when she heard my quill scraping the bottom of my empty pot and she just smiled at me softly and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

i had all the breath knocked out of me- i couldn’t thank her even if i wanted to.

i returned the favour one day in the library about two months after that.

at some point we had sat at the same table in the library to study because all the others were full and this somehow became a regular occurrence. we’d take the table at the far end of the library and just study in silence with heart-racing brushes of hands and stomach-dropping eye catches.

one particularly crowded day, we were joined by some annoying gryffindor boy who clearly had the hots for her. he kept putting his hand on her thigh or playing with her hair. i had to dig my nails into my palms to stop from jabbing my wand up his ass.

why did men have such pathetic gaydars? couldn’t they clearly see she wasn’t straight?

 “mclaggen- i’m not interested. we went for slughorn’s party and it clearly meant more to you than it meant to me. i’m sorry i didn’t clarify that i wanted to go as friends. now please leave me alone,” she snapped when he tried to move his chair closer to her.

his face contorted unattractively, “fine. you aren’t that hot anyways. i’d rather go for ginny weasley anyways. you were a backup.”

hermione laughed, “ginny’s dating harry, so good luck trying to top the captain of the quidditch team when you couldn’t even make keeper.”

he stormed off making sure to bump into the back of her chair on his way out, making her ink pot fall over onto her shirt and tie, soaking her in blue ink. her red tie was royal blue now. i loved her in red.

i slid my ink pot over to her and softly under my breath scoffed, “men.”

she smiled at me thankingly, “tell me about it. they really can’t get a hint.”

i looked at her curiously to see a very knowing expression on her face and i smirked.

“i bet mclaggen wouldn’t even be able to take you on your ideal first date,” i said offhandedly.

“what do you think it would be?” she asked with her chin in her hand.

she was putting on a confident front. it was obvious that she was nervous and had no idea how i would respond. her voice was soft and manner was unsure- but there was a challenging edge to her tone. i looked back down to my work and continued writing while saying nonchalantly, “coffee and a bookstore. if i was taking you on a date, i’d take you to tomes and scrolls and watch you browse for as long as you want. i know you’d never let me pay for you so i’d make sure to note the names of the sequels of the books you’d buy so i can gift them to you later.”

i looked at her out of the corner of my eyes- her mouth was slightly agape as she heard me talk.

“once you were done there, we’d go to the three broomsticks- i’m not sure if you’d like the vibe at madam puddifoots- and we’d have coffee and hot chocolate until sunset. then i’d take you to the black lake and we’d just sit and talk till it was dark. your eyes...” i sighed, “they gleam in the sunset and they look like they’re on fire in the most gorgeous way. as if they were the only light in a dark room. finally, i’d drop you to gryffindor tower and kiss you goodnight and i’d have to tear myself away from you because i just know it’ll have been the best day of my life.”

i finally locked eyes with her and took a rattling breath. 

“how did you-” she stammered at me.

“i’ve crushed on you since i came to hogwarts, hermione. of course everyone told me to stay away from you because of our houses and well, you’re you. i want to take you out and love you and be perfect for you. let me-”

“okay.” she breathed, interrupting me.

“what?”

“okay.” she said again more confidently this time.

i grinned and blushed bright red.

we both turned to our work silently and studied together for i can’t even remember how long. finally when the library was almost empty, she got up, packed her stuff away and made to leave.

“hey hermione!” i called.

she looked back at me questioningly.

“wear red- it suits you.”

[toshisslut]

Having a Black/AfricanAmerican GF

➤ HC, 1.4k words

➤ pairing: akaashi keiji x female reader, bokuto kotaro x female reader 

➤ genre: fluff with a lil bit of angst

➤ warnings: lil bit of angst and implied racism

This was actually inspired by an account who did a hc about dating a latina.(i can’t remember who so if you know please let me know!) i thought it was super cute and also? idk, i’m just a black fan and i’d like to think about what it would be like dating them. sue me :P 

Akaashi Keiji

So like, Keiji is already super down to earth and laid back so he takes everything in stride.

When you’re not with him he spends his time looking up cultural things so that he can understand you better

AAVE trips him up tho but that, too, he studies and researches bc he just wants to understand you better

Tbh he didn’t quite get your ThingTM about your hair but he’s not rude about it. Instead he just sits and listens to you when you talk about the teasing/trauma you went through about it

For a whole day he’s just silently mad bc “wtf, who teases someone about their hair like that? Why the hell would someone do that?” 

“Babe, it’s okay.”

“It is absolutely not okay” 

Cue soft yet angry keiji who hugs you tight and gives you kisses throughout the day, but when he’s not doing that he’s muttering to himself, cussing up a storm.

You’re nervous to meet his friends but like, he’s already beat it over their heads that if they say anything rude/offensive then he’s breaking their wrists and ankles

By accident he starts using your hair care stuff (he gets scolded bc that shit is expensive but once he starts pitching in to help you buy some he gets a pass) 

Now y’all’s hair smells like cantu and coconut oil lmao 

And THEN, of course, he starts using your skin cares stuff

“Your skin is just always so soft.” but what he doesn’t tell you is that he just loves the way you smell and him using your products is just a way for him to always be able to smell you

“Keiji,”You whine, “You’ve used up almost all of my conditioner again.” 

“Not my fault it makes my hair feel nice.” 

You roll your eyes but you aren’t mad. Not when he pitches in an equal, if not an even greater amount of money into your haircare and skincare budget. At first you assumed it was to be nice, but then you realized that he was most certainly using the products as well. 

You reach over and run your fingers through his hair. It’s much straighter than yours, so he has to use a lot less of the product to avoid the risk of making his hair oily. But now, you assume, he must have found the right ratio between his own products and yours because his hair feels amazing. 

Soft. Fluffy. 

“No fair,”You say as you pout, flopping down beside him onto the couch. “You already have pretty lashes and smooth skin, now you’re using my products and getting better results than me.” 

He wraps his arms around your waist and brings onto his lap, his work long since forgotten. “Sorry, baby.” 

“Something tells me that you’re not really sorry.” 

He’s not, but he doesn’t say that. Instead he buries his face into the place where your shoulder meets your neck. He takes in your scent and smiles, though his expression his hidden by the position the two of you are in. 

“Keiji.”You whine, pouting still. 

His smile grows wider. Yes, say his name more. He loves the way you say his name. The way it rolls off of your tongue. Your Japanese is getting better, but there’s still a cute little twang to your voice; specifically, when you say his name. (he hopes that never changes)

“Fine. How about I run us a bubble bath together, hm? Then we can do your skincare regimen together.” 

You know that this is his way of getting to use your skincare stuff too, but he’s rubbing your back in soothing circles and the way his lips brush against your neck is distracting. 

“Aren’t you...aren’t you worried that your friends will tease you for smelling like your girlfriend?” 

He turns his head and kisses your jawline. “Not at all.” 

Because really, he’s not. He’s never really cared when they teased him anyway, but he especially doesn’t care about them teasing him about this. He loves the way you smell. The way you feel. Your smile. Your laughter—everything about you really. Using your products helps him to carry your scent around with him, giving him a nice reminder throughout the day of you and everything about you that he adores. 

Bokuto Kotaro

THIS boy

Oh my goodness

So like, Bokuto is just a people person. Super sociable and friendly

Y’all probably meet while he’s in the states for a game and he’s chilling, talking to Hinata and then boom, spits out his drink bc pretty lady

He’s not super shy when it comes to introducing himself but he doesn’t get your number right away and then gets into a slump

Was it the language barrier? Was it just that she doesn’t think I’m good looking?

Calls up Akaashi like “bro oh my goodness i met the love of my life but what if she just doesn’t want me :((“

And ofc Akaashi was asleep (bc time difference) and he’s irritated bc WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AS SOON AS I ANSWER THE PHONE??? But he tries to be a good friend regardless and is just like “then study some english, dummy” 

So Bokuto does

And like, he wasn’t the super best at studying in school but you bet your ass that he’s trying his damndest now

When y’all finally start dating he’s on cloud nine. Cutest boyfriend. Always showering you in compliments and affection

He doesn’t notice the stares that you two get from people (both Americans and Japanese folk alike) bc he’s just super heart eyes until one day and you’re just so uncomfortable. And he’s like “baby?? You okay??” 

You try to explain to him that it’s because people are staring and he’s just like “well yeah, bc you’re hot? And so am I????” 

Oh poor baby, he gets so upset when he finally gets what you mean. He’s so mad too bc like, who cares that y’all aren’t the same race? As long as you love each other because that’s what is supposed to be most important, right??

He gets super miffed about it but rather than going off on strangers every time it happens, he instead just turns to you to assure you that he loves you from the absolute bottom of his heart to the tippy top

“Bokuto-san, is that girl really your new girlfriend?”Asks one of the team’s athletic trainers.

Bokuto smiles with pride because why yes, y/n is his girlfriend and he is absolutely proud of it. You’re like sunshine to him. You make him so happy. 

“Yeah,”He replies, “She is.” 

The smile on his face fades when the trainer’s face scrunches up into a grimace. “Ahh, but Bokuto-san, you’re so popular in Japan. Do you really need a girl like her?” 

You and Bokuto had been through this before. Some family members and some friends (could you two even call them friends at that point?) had made similar comments to the both of you. Some of them tried to be passive aggressive about it while others just straight up voiced their displeasure at your coupling. 

It was none of their business though. 

Not at all. 

“And what is that supposed to mean?”He asks the trainer, standing to his full height of 6’2. He towers over the short man and stares him down. Waiting. He’s waiting for an answer but all the trainer can do is stutter and shake. “Oh come on, don’t go silent on me now. You had so much to say only a couple of seconds ago. Speak. Up.” 

“I just meant...well, are you sure she’s a good look for you?” 

That sets him off. 

The conversation between the two of them had gone widely unnoticed by those in the room. That is, of course, until Bokuto was about to swing on him. Then chaos broke out. It took Atsumu and Oikawa to hold him back.

(Hinata tried but failed. He grabbed onto Bokuto’s arm but basically just had to hold on for dear life as Bokuto flung his arm about)

The athletic trainer gets fired because there’s no way Bokuto would ever even think about working with him again and, once he told his teammates about what happened, they stood behind him. (They like you a lot and they’ll be damned if you get talked about like that)

No one tells you anything but when Bokuto meets up with you that night for dinner, he hugs you a bit tighter and kisses you for just a bit longer. 

Because, yeah, he may not care what other people say or think when it comes to your relationship, but you’re his #1. He’ll be damned if he lets anyone speak about you in his presence. 

perhaps i’ll continue this as a series with other characters (or maybe even more oneshots? idk,,,lemme know!)

[shellheadtm-a]

@involuntaryspy / bucky and tony not another ship meme

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

honestly this...i don't see being a thing?  at least, you know, not with living things.  with non-living things, it's tony.  it's always tony.  he will always make the big purchase/thing of that nature without stopping to think for two seconds if he maybe should bc he operates on impulse to a degree when it comes to money.  but also if tony were less self-aware about being unable to care for himself, much less another living creature, then yes.  that would also be him, because he has sucker written on his forehead.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

didn't we decide bucky is awful at it if it's not for work.  i vividly remember talking about all the cryptic tony on his phone.  anyway, no, this is tony, tony takes the somewhat aesthetic pictures, and most of them are probably bucky and al, no i do not take criticism.  but you also have the random steve and carol and rhodey and whoever else he manages to wrangle.  sometimes he even remembers instagram exists.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

isn't...that...what relationship compromise is?  are you telling me bucky doesn't go along with tony shenanigans just because it makes him happy?  are you telling me tony doesn't let bucky drag him places just because it'll make bucky happy?  it's a 50/50 split.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

tony, a child of the 80s, letting anyone else pick?  incorrect.  he picks them.  will anyone actually get scared?  uh, probably not.  besides, tony's one of those...the worse a movie is with a budget of like five bucks and a frosty from wendy's, the more he's gonna want to watch it.  they're hilarious, if anything.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

this is me looking pointedly at bucky barnes.  it's a game, okay.  it's a game.  how long can tony stay focused with bucky fucking with him.  the answer is longer than you'd think but not long enough to deter bucky.  besides, finding new ways to break tony's laser like focus is always fun.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

honestly, why does it have to be one or the other.  why can't they both do it.  because i bet they both do it.  but i'm also actually willing to bet tony's actually the worst culprit of this.  if he's working it makes being hands-free easier.  if not...he can still say he was instead of admitting he misses bucky's face (spoiler:  he'll still admit he misses bucky's face.)

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

they...actually...really don't...fight.  it's weird.  i mean yeah they disagree, but like...it literally?  never gets to that level?  it's kinda crazy, tbh, how level headed they both are, when tony's a known overreacter and crier.  and the only time tony storms out is when bucky goes one pun or bad pickup line too far.

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

honestly, bucky's more likely to try to keep them on a semi-regular sleep schedule, but lbr, they both can't sleep?  sometimes?  so there's that.  but also there's the fact that tony will not go to sleep on the principle of not wanting to go to bed just because, so he's way, way more likely to do this.  the only reason he doesn't actually do it as much as he otherwise would is because he doesn't wanna revisit his contortionist act to get into bed once al lays claim to his pillow.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

what i will say is that tony is an ear nibbler.  not a biter, a nibbler, because he's kinda soft and gentle all the way around but...i'm just saying.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

bold of you to assume this isn't a two way street.  i mean have you met tony stark?  have you met bucky barnes?

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

honestly, i think they both approach it in their own ways with like...some enthusiasm?  but tony's definitely enthusiastic about the ones where he gets to engineer something.  he had a blast on halloween, and i legitimately wonder what he was banned from doing on christmas.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

human nature aside, tony's not necessarily going to give the silent treatment, because that's not what it is.  tony does, however, go quiet and withdrawn if it's anything other than Right and Justice being debated, if he's...in any way upset.  so take that as you will.

who plays with the others’ hair more

the question you should be asking is when does bucky stop fucking with tony's hair.  never, is the answer.  like tony has a habit of wrapping bucky's hair around his fingers but it's like...and unconscious thing now, he just does it.  bucky actively goes out of his way to play in tony's.  which, you know, fair.  it's really nice hair.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

they both do this and it's terrible.  tony's big on whining at the same time, too.

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

they're both smoochy, it's disgusting.  uncalled for.  absolutely unacceptable.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

do you...do you really think that would work?  like...honestly?  well, first thing, i can tell you what tony's reaction to being told 'shut the fuck up' would be from someone he's put his whole trust in, and it wouldn't be pretty.  like that ain't a good thing, y'all.  and after all the horrible, horrible pickup lines he's suffered from bucky he's not gonna tell bucky to shut up.  so i mean...

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up

listen.  you know, and i know, tony has literally done this.  literally.  done.  that.  exactly.  they're both awful when they get in that power struggle mood and then no one gets laid and it's a sad time all around.  use your words, gentlemen.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

tony will literally always forget to bring an umbrella but he'll be the one to hold it if bucky remembers, mostly because tony's taller and it makes things easier.

who demands showering first in the mornings

spoiler:  it ain't tony.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

tony, if he wakes up in time.  guaranteed.  tony's never gonna be the earliest riser, but he knows what opportunity knocking looks like, and he's going to take advantage of it.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

who needs roller coasters when you've got iron man.  also, i have the feeling that some games are banned, or at least need to be.  also consider:  poker night.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

tony.  bucky's not a big texter, and tony prefers to text, so he will do this until he gets an answer.  and he will pout when it's one of bucky's one word texts.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

i know we said it could go either way, but i'm gonna remind you and the world at large that tony?  forgets to charge things.  remember the chestplate?  remember how he'd let it run down to nothing?  yeah.  like that but less life-threatening usually.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

like...i think it's understood on the whole if you're gonna do that to either of them it's probably best to let them know you're there first.  you know, considering.  but also consider the alternative of from the front and yes tony will totally stoop to be able to do it to bucky.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

remember the smoochy thing?  that, but with hugs.  they're disgustingly cuddly, and they need to not.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

honestly, tony's louder in general, but it's also mostly when he's in one of his...arm-wavy let me tell you how wrong you are moods.  you know the ones, where he gets all melodramatic.  otherwise he's...actually not?  discounting if he's suited up bc then he's kinda clanky but.  i feel like they're both those soft footed people that can sneak up on you without meaning to.

[triilo-write]

Modern Male Orc x Trans Man Reader (sfw) Part 1

this kinda hit me in the middle of the night when i was supposed to be sleeping so i started it on my phone and then finished on my compute r

You couldn't believe you'd finally cracked. For the last two years you had been happily single, focusing more on earning your degree than on a love life. You liked it that way. The last couple relationships you'd had were... rocky, to say the least, but ended mutually and on good terms. You even sometimes went out to get a drink with one of them now and then; with her new girlfriend tagging along who you were immediately determined to befriend. Your roommate, on the other hand, seemed to think that your forlorn gazes at the other male students was a sign that you needed to give it another shot.

"Okay, just, hear me out." Nira had began during one movie night. The faun had paused at the half wall separating the living room from the ‘kitchen’ with a bowl of hot popcorn in their hands, chocolaty brown eyes locked on you instead of the tv. "Just one date won't bring about the end of the world. You can just ask one of the cute guys in your classes, or at work." They suggested, pouting huffily at your eye roll.

 "You know why I can't 'just' do that, N." You sighed, dropping the remote into the little hammock the blanket made between your knees. "I have the worst time talking to anybody, let alone a cute somebody." You glanced at them as they settled down beside you, tucking a leg under the other.

 "Then.. Why not not ask them face to face?"

 "...You've lost me."

 "A dating profile!" Nira exclaimed, eyes glinting excitedly in the dim light. "Just make like, a Tinder or a Grindr or whatever other app floats your boat, and just browse and wait for a match."

You had to admit that at the time it wasn't the worst possible idea. They'd had plenty worse than using a dating app. But.. You still beat around the bush for another week and a half. Eventually you set up a Grindr- without letting Nira know right off the bat- and the waiting game began. You groaned to yourself and left your phone forgotten on your chest to cover your face with your hands. "There's no way I really got talked into this..." You grumbled against your palms, shutting your eyes and closing off all the nervous thoughts prickling at the back of your mind.

Within just a few minutes of calming down, your phone buzzed almost aggressively against you. You expected it to be Nira, or another friend, or even a classmate asking about notes. Instead, it was an alert that someone had liked you. Apparently you really didn’t need to wait as long as you thought.

It was an almost painfully handsome orcish someone. According to the distance he most likely went to your college and probably even stayed in one of the dormitories, or an apartment like you were, and it set off another wave of nerves. From his profile photos he actually was part of the culinary students, which was a bit of a surprise. Especially considering the first photo was of him and a bunch of other men in football uniforms.

Idly, you worried at your bottom lip with your teeth as you read over his bio, shifting onto your side. His name was Mhurren- an addendum of “the H is silent :)” following- and was twenty-three and, apparently, over six-and-a-half feet tall. Good Gods. And, the more you read, the more you found yourself smiling. He liked going hiking, watching The Great British Baking Show, and expressed a great fondness for blueberry muffins. All things you oddly enough, enjoyed too. Chronic joint pain made hiking a, well, pain in the ass; but you loved being out in nature and exploring. Maybe you’d be able to visit the state park together sometime? You sighed to yourself and mulled over your options, your eyes lingering on his face.

 In the picture he was with a naga, both of them dressed in the standard double-breasted jacket of culinary students, flour dusting the maroon fabric . He had one thick arm around the naga’s neck in a playfully gentle headlock- you could tell by the beaming grin on both of their faces. The naga herself was beautiful; her skin a warm tan with speckling of deep crimson scales on her cheeks and climbing up her neck. Her dark hair was tied up in a neat bun and amber eyes focused on the camera with a happy glint in them. He, however, captivated you with all the little details. His skin was a deep green, and thick tusks caught the overhead lights; his long hair was dyed a rich dark seafoam with the dark brown roots showing. It was tied back in a beautiful dutch braid that he had pulled over his shoulder, and just messy enough to show he’d let it down out of a bun just a little before. His piercings were beautiful- bright silver studs in erl, snake bite, and brow styles. The philtrum looked like it was more stone than metal, but you couldn’t make out what kind just yet.

Just yet? You didn’t even know if you were going to meet him!

Your gaze drifted from the philtrum to the attractive black septum ring, then up higher to his eyes. Mirth glittered in their mismatched depths, and you found yourself inhaling a little sharply. His right eye was a blue to rival the sky, whereas the left was a striking, storm cloud grey.

 ...Maybe liking him back couldn’t hurt after all. Your thumb swiped his profile to the right and you could feel a small coil of anxiety twist in your chest as the app announced a match. “Oh, Gods.” You mumbled to yourself as you shifted to sit up, crossing your legs together. Your thumbs nervously tapped the edges of your phone while the chat was loaded; what if you said something wrong right off the bat? Maybe he’d lose interest the moment you started to talk, what if-

A message popped up and drove you from your apprehensive thoughts, and you read it with a flutter in your stomach.

 ‘hey! sorry if I’m keeping you up any.’

‘Oh! No, no youre fine! Im just settling in to relax for the night’ Not a complete lie, but you didn’t want him to feel bad for talking to you.

‘oh good. I didn’t really expect you to swipe back tbh.’

‘Really?’

‘yeah, but I just joined and don’t really know what to expect in general, you know?’

‘Gods, tell me about it. Ive never had a dating profile before so this is all extremely new’

You were glad he was as new as you were, the awkward process of breaking the ice would be mutual that way. It soothed your uneasiness some, and you moved again to slip out of bed and make your way into the main room. You were much more awake now while the two of you spoke back and forth, and you switched on the electric kettle while you leaned against the counter. He was already making you smile and chuckle to yourself as he talked about how his classes were going, and you in turn dipped into how yours were. He was majoring as a pastry chef, and you were majoring as a geologist.

 In a way it was a mistake to tell him that, as the science puns started up without warning as you dropped a bag of Yorkshire Gold tea into your mug. A particularly bad one almost made you laugh out loud and you had to clamp your hand over your mouth quickly to stifle yourself.

  ‘That was horrible!! Youre lucky i love puns’

‘aha! finally I have an excuse to utilize my awful sense of humor.’

‘Be careful, using it all the time may be’ A brief pause for suspense. ‘Punisble’

 His subsequent keysmash and ‘GODS’ filled you with pride and giggle to yourself as the kettle finished heating, and you reached for the handle, typing with one hand.

 ‘Im glad you enjoyed that so much’

‘I woke up my roommate laughing, look what you do to me’

‘Maybe I could do more’ The message sent before you could stop yourself, heat flaring in your cheeks as you nearly overfilled your mug in shock at your own bravado. ‘I mean make you laugh more!! I bet you have a wonderful laugh, the world should hear it as often as possible!’

You groaned at yourself, putting the kettle back in place and using a spoon to help weigh down the tea bag before covering your face with your hand. You really were digging a deeper hole for yourself, weren’t you? He was bound to lose interest now, you’d been speaking for maybe an hour and then you make a comment like that? Mortifying.

 What felt like an eternity had passed before your phone buzzed again and you chanced a peek at the screen, eyeing his response.

 ‘I’d like that, though. perhaps you’ll get your chance Friday night during dinner, if you want to go with me 💖’

 “WHAT-” You yelped in shock, covering your mouth swiftly afterwards, though not swift enough. In moments Nira was at their doorway looking ruffled and worried. You dropped your hand to answer before she even asked. “I.. Just got asked out.”

“Ooh! Who is it, how?” They excitedly hopped over to you, peering curiously at your phone, and huffing at your lack of a reply. “Don’t leave them hanging, that’d be rude.” The faun bumped their head against your shoulder encouragingly before stepping back to put their hands on their hips.

‘Id love that; I just want to warn you its been a long while since Ive been out with anyone, though’

“There we are! Now, fill me in.” They grinned, dark eyes shining with intrigue. Together you stood in the open kitchen with the small overhead light on, mixing up your tea with Nira hanging on your every word. At one point Mhurren had responded, his answer excited and asking to verifying a time- Friday was only a day away, after all. You both settled on seven in the evening to give yourselves a fair bit of time together to talk, before he bid you a good night. Nira, however, wouldn’t leave you to your tea until you showed them the photos of Mhurren. “Now he’s a catch! And he might be able to keep up with your sweet tooth if he’s working to be a pastry chef.” They teased with a wink, patting your shoulder before heading back to their room.

 You sat on the couch, watching the dark world outside the large living room window, sipping your cooling tea and mulling over what had happened. Part of you was still nervous that he’d be unhappy with what he saw and heard when you’d both meet up, but you swatted it away to focus on finishing your drink and returning to bed yourself. Even then you didn’t doze for quite some time, but when sleep finally found you it was sound and dreamless.

[a-splash-of-stucky]

I Know This Game | Five

Pairings: Bucky x Foster!Reader

Summary: In which you have a break-up chat with Wanda and Peggy (and Jane).

Warnings: A little language, a lot of mildly depressing talk. Questioning your self-worth. Crying, crying and more crying - and angst, of course.

Notes: Fic was inspired by ‘Eyes Closed’ by Halsey. Jane as your wise little sister would be kick-ass, tbh.

IKTG Masterlist

The light drizzle has turned into a storm that is rapidly intensifying, sheets of rain sweeping across the streets. You’ve made it to your building in the nick of time and dash inside before you become completely soaked. You make a beeline through the lobby, heading straight for the elevators at the far end of the foyer. Stan, the elderly night guard, is reading comics behind his desk and tips his hat to you in greeting as you pass by.

Your hallway reeks of its usual rotten egg odour, which always seems to get a little stronger whenever it’s raining. You hold your breath and stride briskly to your apartment, fishing your keys out of your purse as you go. You let yourself in as quietly as possible — no simple task, given the fact that the front door squeaks loud enough to be heard from the floor below.

As expected, the apartment is mostly in darkness, save for the faint glow of the TV in the living room. As you shrug off your coat, you smile fondly when you catch sight of Wanda and Peggy. They are sprawled out on the couch, each occupying one end. Neither seems to have heard you coming in — which says something about how accustomed they’ve become to the squeaky door — utterly engrossed in whatever it is they’re watching. After you arrange your coat and shoes in the hallway closet, you pad into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water.

“Oh my god, Kim’s an idiot. Like, an actual idiot,” Wanda groans.

You snort, leaning against the kitchen counter, “What’d she do this time?”

Peggy lifts her head up, craning her neck around to look at you. “Y/N! You’re back!”

“How observant you are,” you remark dryly, shuffling over to the couch.

“You’re home early,” she continues, “It’s just turned half past nine, hasn’t it?”

“Again with the ‘stating the obvious’, Pegs,” you sigh. You climb over the back of the couch, glass of water balanced precariously in one hand, and sink into the space between them, crushing Wanda’s toes and Peggy’s calves in the process. The yelp in pain and grumble various curses under their breath as they shift around to make room for you.

Wanda extends her arms in a dramatic flourish. “Welcome to our crazy wild Friday night!” she says, “As you can see, things are going absolutely mad here. We’ve got pizza—,”

“She means ‘an empty pizza box’,” Peggy interrupts.

“—alcohol and the Kardashians, what more could you ask for?” Wanda finishes.

You snort and shake your head in amusement. “You’re a pair of old ladies, I tell you,” you mutter, taking in Wanda’s ratty t-shirt and messy bun, sharply contrasted to Peggy’s blue-and-white striped pyjama set. They’re about as opposite as night and day, those two, but somehow, they make things work.

“You look terrible,” Peggy informs you abruptly. Most times, you absolutely adores the way she cut straight to the point and never beats around the bush. Tonight, with you in your emotionally drained state, her words just make you feel that much more shitty.

“Gee, thanks,” you drawl, rolling your eyes with as much sarcasm as you can muster, “It’s so nice to be welcomed home by you lot,”.

“I thought you were staying at Loki’s for the night,” says Wanda, talking to you even though her eyes are back on the screen, watching the saucy, rich-bitch drama unfold.

“I thought that was the plan too,” you admit softly, settling back into the couch and tucking your legs underneath you. From the corner of your eye, you see Wanda redirecting her attention back to you when she notices your sorrowful tone. On your left, you feel Peggy’s stare practically boring a hole into the side of your skull.

“So what changed?” asks Peggy, cocking her head to the side and narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

You’re hesitate for a heartbeat before answering, and in that split-second, Wanda gets it. The girl can seriously read minds.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, putting a hand up to her mouth, “You guys broke up?”

You nod morosely, “Cheated on me with a girl called Sharon,”.

“Called it!” says Peggy, fist-punching the air triumphantly. The three of you tend to make bets over your love life — because let’s be honest, if you’re going to be such a train wreck when it comes to romance, a little bit of comic relief and lighthearted competition can’t hurt — placing wagers on how long you’d stay with a guy and the reason for your separation. You’re not in the mood for humour tonight, though, so you shoot her an unamused glare and she grimaces at her lack of tact, mouthing “Sorry,” at you.

“You okay? You wanna talk about it?” asks Wanda, sitting up and slinging her arm over your shoulder, “I would offer you pizza, but as you can see,” she gestures towards the empty box sitting on the coffee table, “It’s all gone,”.

You smile wryly and pat her thigh. “Nah, I’m good,”, you murmur, hoping to avoid getting dragged into a full-blown interrogation session with these two. After the events of today, you don’t think you have the inner strength to sit through one.

“You’re good as in…you’re good, or you’re good, you don’t want pizza?” Peggy asks, arching an eyebrow and crossing her arms imperiously, because she’s known you long enough to know exactly what you say when you’re trying to skirt around an issue.

“The second one,” you sigh, conceding that she’s got you cornered. You know it’ll be easier to admit defeat.

“So you’re not good? What’s up, sweetie?” Wanda murmurs, immediately going all protective on you. “Upset about Loki?”

“Actually, no,” you reply. The conviction and clarity in your voice leaves them taken aback — in fact, you’re a little surprised yourself. But, as you turn over your answer in your head, you realise how true it really is. You’re not upset about Loki cheating on you. Well, not really. Sure, you’re pride’s been bruised, but it’s not torn to pieces, or anything. What you had with him was never going to be permanent, you knew that in your heart of hearts. If anything, you’re glad that it’s over.

Peggy seems to sense your weird mood. “You don’t seem too shaken up,” she says slowly, furrowing her brow as she appraises you.

“I—I am a little shaken up, but it’s not because of Loki,” you confess.

“What is it, then?” asks Wanda, a truly confused expression on her face.

“I—,” you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, “It’s a long story,”.

“Well, I’ve got no problem with you turning our wild Friday night into story time,” says Wanda, “You okay with that, Pegs?”

“I am rather curious to find out what’s up with Y/N,” she agrees.

You groan and bury your head in your hands. “I really don’t want to talk about it,” you tell them, voice coming out slightly muffled.

“Avoidance is not healthy, Y/N, you shouldn’t bottle up your emotions,” Peggy says, putting on the solemn voice she uses when you’re getting a talking-to.

You uncover your left eye and glare at her. “I should never have given you that line,” you mutter.

“You’re a therapist, Y/N! You know it’s—,”.

“Peggy!” you interrupt sharply, “Please, I—not tonight, alright? I’ve had a really long day and I just want to sleep,”.

“Okay honey,” Wanda soothes, gently rubbing her hand in wide, circular motions on your back, “Not tonight. But sometime?”

“But sometime,” you agree, nodding your head weakly.

“D’you wanna at least…tell us something? Put us out of our misery? I’m dying to know what’s got you so worked up,” Peggy pleads, half out of personal curiosity and half out of genuine concern for your wellbeing.

You draw your bottom lip between your teeth and chew at it for a bit before replying. “I—I’ve been thinking about…them, and, specifically him a lot today. Well, mostly this evening. And—I don’t know. I’ve just been really reflective about things, tonight,”.

You sense Wanda and Peggy sharing a ‘look’, silently communicating above your head. You’re grateful that they don’t have to ask who ‘they’ are or who ‘he’ is. You’re not sure that you could keep it together if you had to say his name out loud.

“Okay, we’ll talk about it in the morning,” Wanda says softly.

“Whatever it is, you’ll get through this, Y/N. After what Barnes did to you, I think your heart can cope with anything,” Peggy assures you.

The three of you wince at the mention of his name.

“Yeah,” you murmur, moving to stand up, “Nothing can be as bad as losing him,”.

—————————————————

You remember stumbling into the empty apartment after going to see Pepper. Happy had dropped you and your things off with a stoic expression on his face, going through the motions with meticulous efficiency. You walked around in a daze as he brought your things in, flicking on light switches as you went, feeling like the darkness was trapping you in. You noted the changes that Wanda and Peggy had made since your last visit, like the new blue curtains and the fluffy pink sofa cushions. For the last two years, you’d been primarily living at the compound, as per your contract, only visiting the girls every now and then to catch up.

You’d been grateful to at last be on your own, after spending a whole afternoon forcing yourself to hold it together in front of people you once thought of as friends. Alone with your thoughts, you finally allowed the dam to burst and the emotions to overwhelm you, collapsing in a heap on the living room rug as you sobbed your heart out.

Wanda had come home first. She’d nearly had a heart attack when she found you sniffling on the floor, curled up into a tight little ball. Peggy had arrived not ten minutes later and together, she and Wanda coaxed you into your bed.

As Wanda fussed about with blankets and pillows, making a little fort for the three of you to huddle in, Peggy had brought in several bars of chocolate, a few bottles of water and three boxes of tissues — “One for each of us,” she’d said. Peggy sat on your right and Wanda squeezed in between your left side and the wall, nestled against you like a cat.

You had haltingly told the entire story to the girls, pausing every now and then then to descend into the bottommost pits of SorrowLandTM  whenever a fresh wave of grief came flooding through your system. They had listened patiently, not once making a smart-ass comment or interrupting you as you recalled the whirlwind of a day you’d just had.

Afterwards, a very incensed Peggy had declared that she would be going to visit Pepper herself and demand some sort of compensation for you, as this heartbreak was most certainly not part of your contract. Wanda had already begun plotting ways of getting back at Bucky — though howexactly she thought she might be able to outwit a supersoldier and highly trained assassin you had no idea. Miraculously, you managed to talk them both out of their crazed plans.

Losing Bucky was akin to losing a very close family member, and your mind and body grieved as such. In the days following your return, you spent most of your time in your room sobbing your eyes out. You were certain that you could fill an entire Olympic-sized swimming pool with the amount of liquid leaking out of your tear ducts. In a moment of hysteria, you remember wondering how your body hadn’t shrivelled up like a prune from all the fluids it had lost in such a short span of time.

It had been difficult for the two of them — you were normally the emotionally calm and reserved one of the group (being a renowned psychiatrist specialising in victims of war does that to you, you suppose), and neither person had ever seen you this upset. Peggy and Wanda had seen you through horrendous breakups before, but even those paled in comparison to your separation from Bucky. They didn’t know what to do with themselves, didn’t know how to break you out of your funk and in the end, just decided to let you burn it all out.

What differentiated this breakup from all the other ones you’d had was the fact that not only were you betrayed by your lover, you were let down by a whole team of people you used to depend on. When you lost Bucky, you lost them all. Two years of your life, billions of priceless memories and shared moments — all tainted because of one encounter. You weren’t behaving as if you’d just lost one family member; your mind was reacting in the way it would if you’d lost your entire family, which, in a way, you had.

Bucky called you several times a day. He left you about a million messages. The day after you left, you remember being half-inclined to smash your phone against the wall, as it was buzzing almost non-stop. Sometimes you’d check your phone and see that you’d received missed calls from Steve, Sam, Tony, even Pepper, at one point — though whether it was actually those people calling you, or whether Bucky was just borrowing their phones, you never did find out.

When Peggy had gone and gotten you a new phone number, you nearly sobbed with relief.

Would’ve traded all for you, there for you So tell me how to move on Would’ve traded all for you, cared for you

On the fourth day of your self-imposed bedrest and grieving period, you were, without a doubt, at the lowest point in your life. You felt dead on the inside, utterly hollow and devoid of emotion. You were sick of crying, fed up with feeling like you were barely alive. You were burned out, a shell of the person you used to be. You hadn’t eaten a solid meal in almost 24 hours, yet no hunger pains plagued you.

You’re lying in your bed in a state of half-sleep when the door creaks open. Your head is buried under the blankets, so you don’t immediately see who it is; you assume it’s Peggy or Wanda coming in to check on you before they head off to work. The bed dips as someone perches on the edge. A hand gently tugs the blanket off your head.

Disoriented by the slivers of light spilling in through your curtains, you have to blink your eyes several times before your pupils get accustomed to the brightness. You stare blearily at the person sitting on your bed and, in your drowsy state, it takes you a while to make out their facial features, let alone get your brain functioning enough to recognise who they are.

“Jane?” you ask. You immediately wince; you sound like a frog, your voice croaky from disuse. You honestly can’t believe that it’s her — your little sister has actually taken time away from her precious research and flown all the way from New Mexico to see you. If your eyes weren’t already sick of crying, you’d surely be shedding a few tears.

Jane smiles and smoothes a hand over your head. “Yeah, sis, it’s me,” she murmurs, “Scoot over, will you? Your fat ass is taking up the whole bed,”.

With some difficulty, you manage to extricate yourself from the multitude of blankets wrapped around your limbs. Together, you and Jane rearrange your nest of blankets, creating enough space for her to burrow in next to you. You press your back against the wall and Jane kicks off her shoes so that she can crawl in. The two of you lie on your sides, facing each other.

“Sorry,” you snuffle, wiping your snotty nose on the edge of your sleeve, “I look like shit,”.

She chuckles softly, then reaches out to tenderly tuck the strands of hair clinging to your damp cheeks over your ear. “Yeah, well, what’s new, eh?” she whispers, “You think you look like shit, I think you look beautiful. A little busted up, but beautiful nonetheless,”.

“I feel busted up,” you mumble.

Jane doesn’t say anything, just closes her eyes and waits patiently for you to continue. She knows you’ll tell her when you’re ready. She tucks one arm under her head.

“Where did I go wrong, Janie?” you whisper, your voice coming out wrecked and broken, “I—I tried, so hard. I wanted to make it work so bad—I—,”.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” she soothes, shuffling closer and slinging one arm around your ribs, so that you’re pressed chest to chest. “It’s not your fault,” she whispers fiercely, “Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t control,”.

“B-but…why would he do it if I didn’t do something wrong?” you ask thickly. Against the odds, a new wave of tears threatens to spill from your eyes. You brush the back of your hand over them impatiently, utterly fed up of feeling so broken and exhausted.

Jane sighs. “I don’t know, Y/N. Maybe—maybe he changed. You said so yourself, right? Bucky at the start of your relationship was different to who he was at the end. Maybe—his preferences changed too,”.

Over the past couple of days, you’d come to a similar conclusion, but hearing it from someone else seemed to placate your raging emotions, somehow. “Did he have to…y’know, break my heart like that?” you ask weakly.

“I don’t have all the answers, Y/N,” she says apologetically, shaking her head.

You snort, bemused. “Don’t astrophysicists have all the answers?” you tease.

Jane giggles, pleased to have gotten you in better spirits. “We do have all the answers, hiding out there, somewhere — that doesn’t mean we’ve found them all, though,”.

A moment of companionable silence passes. You scoot down the bed and rest your head on her chest. Listening to the steady thud of her heartbeat and feeling the gentle rise and fall of her ribs lulls you into a more peaceful state. You’re a little bit sleepy, but the cogs and gears are grinding in the back of your mind, trying to piece together the words and phrases you need to say, the stuff you need to ventilate.

“It’s just—things are different, this time,” you say quietly, running your finger over the design on her shirt.

She stays silent, letting you amble along your train of thoughts at your own pace. You chew at your bottom lip, wondering how best to phrase this.

“I couldn’t keep working there…anyway,” you tell her, “I—a professor at uni once told me that you can either be someone’s therapist, or you can be their friend, but you can’t be both. And it was pretty clear that I was becoming a friend, or more than a friend to everyone there,”.

You swallow nervously. You’ve never really voiced these thoughts aloud before, not even to him. “I…I was willing to give this up, y’know?”. You make vague, circular hand gestures as you figure out how to elaborate, “This—this therapy gig, yeah? I was willing to stop. I would’ve found something else to do with my time, maybe, work in the compound another way, but—I wanted to stay,”.

Jane rubs her hand up and down your back. “You really were in love, weren’t you?” she says quietly, “Loved him enough to throw away everything you ever worked for,”. You knew she didn’t quite get it. Though the two of you were sisters, Jane’s bond to her research was quite unlike yours. You’re certain that if she could, she would marry her work. She barely had any experience with long-term relationships, and so you weren’t quite sure why you were trusting her, of all people, to give you advice — but Jane was Jane, and she had a tendency to be right about these things.

You sigh, choosing your words carefully, to make her understand. “I was willing to trade it all for him, Janie. Everything I’d built for myself, my reputation, my skills — all of it. Just so I could stay with him,”. You hesitate, “Not because I loved it any less, but I knew that it would be too difficult to have them both, and he gave me all the satisfaction I got from doing my work and more,”.

She snorts in a very unladylike manner. “I should hope so,” she scoffs.

It takes you a while to get the joke, but when you do, you smack her shoulder forcefully. “Not like that,” you hiss.

“Okay, okay, I know what you mean,” Jane laughs. When she’s calmed down, she presses her cheek to the top of your head, “Why wouldn’t you be able to have both?” she asks.

“Well, I couldn’t have been their therapist any longer, and the hours I’d need to put in in order to run a functioning clinic would have been enormous,” you explain. “I wouldn’t be spending as much time at the compound and, seeing as I would be giving up my work to have more time with him, that seemed pretty pointless,”.

“Maybe you could’ve found a way to make it work,” Jane says, and from her tone you can tell that she’s already trying to come up with solutions, working out possibilities. “Just because the path isn’t clear, or the road is an uphill struggle, doesn’t mean that it’s not feasible. If you love two things, you should be able to have them both,”.

“Just drop it, Jane,” you sigh, not wanting to dwell on what-ifs and burden yourself with maybes. Already, you’re feeling the sadness welling up inside you from the brief discussion you’ve just had. You shrug, trying to brush those thoughts away with some indifference, “Guess I’ll never get to find out, huh?”.

“Guess not,” she echoes quietly. Another silence, then, with her voice so soft you almost don’t catch it, she says, “You did nothing wrong, you know that right?”.

“Yeah,” you mumble, even though you don’t quite believe it yourself. If she notices the lack of conviction in your tone, Jane doesn’t comment.

Something is still weighing on your chest and you decide that now is as good a time as ever to let it out. “I was there for him,” you tell her, “I was there for him, just him, y’know? I wasn’t…trying to make him who he used to be, wasn’t trying to make him anything he didn’t want to be, I was—I just—,”.

You cut yourself off as you feel a wave of panic rushing up your throat. You take a deep, shuddery breath in an attempt to calm your nerves, “I think everyone on the team had their own personal agenda when it came to helping Bucky. They were helping him, but ultimately, they were helping themselves, in some way,”.

“Even Steve?” she asks quietly.

You nod, albeit a little reluctantly. “Yeah. I think he kinda hoped that I could get him back to the Bucky he used to be,”.

“And you’re upset about that?”. There’s a confused undertone to her voice.

“No! Well, actually, yes, but that’s not the main point. The main point is that I—I didn’t!”. You laugh breathlessly, feeling somewhat delirious from lack of sleep. The fatigue seems to finally be catching up on you. “I didn’t have an ulterior motive. All I wanted was to make things better for him, to help him accept the person he’d been made into. I was there for him as he had become; the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes,”.

“He’s an idiot,” Jane mutters darkly.

You laugh, despite yourself. “I think I might’ve been the only person to really understand that you needed to accept him as an all-inclusive package, y’know? I mean, Steve kinda got there, in the end, but—but for a long time, the only person Bucky could talk to, about anything and everything, without fear of judgement, was me,”.

Jane makes a little noise of understanding, like she’s mulling over what you’ve just said. “And so…” she prompts, encouraging you to round things off.

“I guess…maybe this is selfish of me, but I just want him to think about everything I did for him,”, you sigh, “If he replaced me that easily, I just don’t think he appreciates, or appreciated me as much as I thought he did,”. The confession makes you feel lighter, as if you’ve shed some of the weight that’s been bearing down on you for the past few days.

“So what’re you gonna do about it? You gonna talk to him?” Jane asks.

You groan resignedly, “I don’t know how to move on, Jane. I—yeah, I’ve had breakups before, but never like this. So—maybe sometime I’ll see him. But I can’t face him right now,”

“But you will?” she prods, “Closure might do you some good. It’s unhealthy to hold onto the past too much, y’know?”

You arch one eyebrow and tip your head back to look at her. “Anyone ever told you that you should be a therapist?”

“I did learn from the best,” she jokes, poking you in the ribs. You stick your tongue out at her. She scrunches her nose at you and flicks your forehead.

“Go to sleep,” Jane whispers, after she sees you trying to hide a yawn, “You look like you need it,”.

“‘M not tired,” you mutter, even as you cover your mouth with your hand to stifle another one.  

“Uh-huh, sure,” she says, rolling to face the other way so that her back is pressed against your chest. She takes your arm and drapes it around her waist, “If you’re not gonna sleep, I will. By my body clock, it’s still 5AM and I should be knocked out,”.

Your eyes are already beginning to slide shut as you press your cheek to the space between her shoulder blades, inhaling Jane’s comforting vanilla scent. “G’night Jane,” you murmur, “Thank you,”.

—————————————————

After assuring Wanda and Peggy that you’re completely fine after your breakup with Loki and promising (multiple times) that you would tell them everything else in the morning, you retire to your room to get some rest. The events of the day have finally caught up with you, and the cumulative emotional toll is making you feel utterly spent, both physically and mentally. You strip off your work clothes, dumping them into the laundry basket in the corner of your room, before crawling into bed in just your underwear.

You set an alarm for 6AM, mentally cursing yourself for agreeing to meet with a patient so early in the morning on a goddamn Saturday, of all days.

In your exhausted state, sleep comes blessedly easily. As your eyelids begin to droop, your last dregs of your consciousness sadly notes that your current situation is nothing new to you. Freshly broken heart, moping over your failed relationship and wallowing in self-pity as you analyse your frankly depressing dating history. It seems that you have a knack for picking boyfriends cut from the same material.

As always, the last thought you have before drifting off to sleep is of Bucky. Tonight, it’s the way his eyes had shone with unshed tears when you said “I love you” to him before he left on that mission.

Now, if you were to see him again, you’re not sure whether or not you would change it to ‘loved’.

—————————————— Tags are open, but I’m only accepting requests via asks or PMs. Tag requests from replies/comments will be ignored.

[aparoxysm]

☼ - Kitty & Sally

☼ SALLY & KITTY ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

kitty of COURSE.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

hmmmm, i think both but it depends on the situation. like if they see someone important or famous or she got a new outfit/accessory, it’ll ofc be sally. but if theyre on holiday or just doing cute stuff and spending time together, it’s kitty. i imagine they damand to take photos of each other a lot.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

probably kitty. shes cute that way.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

kitty, i think. sally is just like “this is so unrealistic and overly grotesque” and meanwhile kitty is under the couch shaking.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

HA sally is the worker and kitty is the distracter.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

BOTH.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

sally storms, kitty cries. ayyyy

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

kitty.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

n/a

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

kitty. LOL. sally would be so mad at first then lighten up about it.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

BOTH, but probably still kitty.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

sally is 100% a silent treatment person

who plays with the others’ hair more

hahaha both i think.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

kitty. as we know, sally’s not very touchy feely but kitty is very physical affectionate.

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

haha in the most platonic way possible, probably kitty!

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

kitty. and i bet sally tells her to be quiet a lot. not meanly but. yknow. sally needs silence  to concentrate.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up

n/a

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

kitty forgets, sally holds. what are best friends for???

who demands showering first in the mornings

saly.l

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

n/a.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

i feel like maybe kitty likes rollercoasters but i think they both would prefer games with each other tbh.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

both. but mostly kitty.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

sally never forgets LOL

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

kitty.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

kitty!

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

kitty LOL. 

[realdisaster-blog1]

Yes another ship meme .

SEND THIS IN I LOVE EVERYONE

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultationJULIE mainly because she’s so impulsive && ray will make a good dog dad who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of themJULIE again ?? ray is naturally aesthetic even when he’s at his worst so she’d probably just force him to take pictures of him ( but tbh i bet he’d have fun, she’d try her hardest to make it fun )who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happyJULIE. self explanatory; ray is sad a lot, julie is trying her hardestwho picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to themRAY, no doubt lmao lbr julie is one of those people who is like ‘ i’m not afraid of ts ’ but in the moment she will cry if something scares her && ray is an asshole so shrug emojiwho is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract themneither study but i guess ray is really busy && naturally julie finds comfort especially when people pay attention to her sowho initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separatedRAY probably to see her corgi most of the time, but sometimes because he misses herwho is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they doRAY is more likely to storm out, JULIE is more likely to cry when he doeswho stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite showsRAY because he rarely sleeps anywaywho bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling friskyRAYwho sprays the other with water when they’re washing the carJULIEwho has more fun decorating the house during holidaysRAY especially during halloweenwho is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the otherRAYwho plays with the others’ hair moreRAY, but JULIE is really close behind. they both have great hair tbhwho is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re boredJULIE because she’s smaller && is just really stupidwho tries to kiss the other as often as they canJULIE mostly because she genuinely loves him/is clingy but also because she likes the reassurancewho pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck upJULIE because yellin && givin zero shits is her strong suitwho initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled upRAY 100% initiates && walks away; he’s way more controlled than her esp. when it comes to romantic/passionate timeswho always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have oneJULIE always forgets the umbrella && RAY holds it when they actually have one bc he’s tallerwho demands showering first in the morningsRAY because he likes to keep things in a routinewho sneaks into the shower with the other one in the morningsJULIE because she absolutely wakes up later than him && is trying to see if shower sex is a mythwho prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the gamesJULIE prefers roller coasters && RAY prefers playing the gameswho will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respondJULIE spam texts him because this bitch doesn’t know how to answer his phonewho always forgets to charge their phone overnightRAY because he doesn’t carewho comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pocketsBOTH because ?? bootywho tries to get hugs from the other as often as they canJULIE she loves rays hugs a lot they’re comforting && warmwho is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quietJULIE is louder ( esp when drinking/excited ) && RAY always has to try to keep her quiet

[bcnnenuit-a-blog]

☼ ( JinWon / JooRi / RiWon ) LOL

( from here. | not accepting! )

( jinwon. joori. riwon. "that old guy” and riri l o l. )

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation: doesn’t really sound like something either of them would do but riri wouldn’t hesitate lol 

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them: considering she’s a FASHION/LIFESTYLE BLOGGER (even if she wasn’t, she’s still a fashion design student), you bet she’s gonna make joowon take all the pics of her!! and she’d love to take pics of him hehe

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy: i feel like joowon would?? (although riri would too) it seems like he’d do it more often, probably bringing up some stuff they used to do when they were a lot younger uwu

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them: tbh riri isn’t a fan of horror films but if joowon wants to watch them then that’s cool ?? she’s definitely gonna cling to him ... (i bet they did that when they were younger too)

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them: riri doesn’t really study because she’s kinda smart already + most of her school work is output based so she’s really busy either making a blog post or a project for school and joowon’s a great distraction tbh

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated: riri when she’s not busy!! (joowon when she is AHA)

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do: riri doesn’t like crying because it ruins her face l o l so it seems like they’d both storm out 

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows: riri is absolute trash for anything fashion related especially fashiontv like that is her favorite channel and she will watch fashion shows non-stop. also reruns of law and order or csi.  

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky: hmmmmMMmmMmmmmMMMM joowon? although i wouldn’t put it past riri to do the same lol

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car: riri but i’m sure joowon would spray her right back (coughs just like old times coughs)

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays: riri, i guess. she kinda loves designing anything and i don’t think she wants anyone really messing with her ‘vision’. i have a feeling joowon would mess something up just to see her reaction lol

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other: i feel like joowon would?? 

who plays with the others’ hair more: riri has really nice hair so wink lol no but seriously i think joowon would really like playing with riri’s hair

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored: uh neither ?? maybe when they were younger, riri would when she’s really bored and on occasion, she’d do it again now (but rarely)

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can: for some reason, i think joowon would ?? have yet to figure this one out completely but it could honestly be both

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up: riri more often than joowon but i wouldn’t be surprised if joowon would pout too lol

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up: WELP have yet to figure this one out too because i mean ... their relationship hasn’t really gotten into things like this yet so (but joowon with the sex probably LMAO)

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one: neither would forget (maybe joowon would sometimes) & he’d hold it because riri’s kind of a diva when she wants to be and she’d make him hold the umbrella

who demands showering first in the mornings: riri?? joowon just seems like the type to let her because he knows how busy she can get :) 

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings: again-- not in this stage of the relationship bUT IF THEY WERE joowon hahahahaah

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games: joowon seems like the type to like roller coasters more than riri but i think they both rather play games??  

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond: riri if she isn’t doing anything and just wants to bug him

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight: joowon maybe? riri would never go out of the house with a dead phone (and if she did, she’d have some kind of powerbank or something)

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets: same with the other /eyes emoji/ questions but uhhh this one goes to riri i bet she luv dat ass  

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can: riri especially when she’s hella tired!! just like “omfg joowon pls hug me i need a hug” she would not hesitate i swear

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet: riri’s louder but not by much so there’s no need to tell anyone to be quiet lol

[aparoxysm]

☼☼☼☼ i don't even know how many i pasted but GIMME

this is literally going to be so long i talk so much YOURE GONNA REGRET THIS

☼ KYLE & DEANNA ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

WELL, i think this would be kyle tbh. like no okay, he’s usually a responsible guy but hes SOOO easily manipulated and pressured into things ok??? the puppy would just have to look @ him and he’d just be like “no buddy im sorry i can’t………………… alright fine jump in the backpack ill be your obi wan we’re outta here”

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

deanna 10000000%

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

i actually feel like both? i feel like kyle is usually the instigator but since being around him all the time, deanna’s really going to get to embrace a dorkier side of herself. he likes making people laugh and she likes him making her laugh so basically he is gonna make her come to the dork side sooner or later~

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

HAHA probably kyle.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

SO i have finally decided that kyle is really interested in history and archeology. i think hes gonna really commit to college this time around soon and deannas gonna be pouty when he cant shower her in attention lolololol. so definitely her distracting and succeeding.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

both!!

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

i don’t know if deanna really has a temper but given that she’s got italian blood in her, i’d say genetics prove that she’d be the one to walk out. kyle would 10/10 be upset if she did.

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

kyle. netflix nerd.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

deanna.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

both. 10/10.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

kyle LOL hes such a dweeb. there’s him in an ugly christmas sweater and antlers.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

…..deanna? maybe? im not really sure, again, i dont know what her temper is like. i don’t know if shes a need space person or not yet, but kyle wouldn’t be able to stand ignoring her.

who plays with the others’ hair more

i definitely see deanna playing with kyles hair on the reg.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

i think deanna’s already proved this one LOLOLOLL and i love it so much, its such a normal organic thing in relationships to hang off each other and i definitely see that being her thing. 

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

deanna. i think kyle’s more of a hugger, he always likes to just have an arm around her somehow. shes the kisser.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

WELL kyle would never @ her like that but LOLOLOL i bet once the novelty of his blabbing has worn off and theyre an old married couple deanna might sometimes just be like stooooop

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

deanna is for sure the instigator, as if that isnt 100% obvious by now hahahha and god yes sometimes kyle will be like NO OMG MY MOM IS IN THE OTHER ROOM or I HAv E TO GO TO cLASS so yep he gonna have to walk away and its gonna kill him 100 times over probably.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

kyle forgets it but also has to hold it because hes such a tall freak, hed be like good ol’ hunchback notre dame with deanna holding it LOL. but he’d also just like, get wet if it meant keeping her dry and warm cause hes a ~gentleman

who demands showering first in the mornings

hmmmmmmmmmmmm i feel like deanna. unless shes a night shower-er. in which case, shes a freak and kyle owns the morning.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

well this has deanna written all over it so.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

kyle’s a wimp, he’ll win her a goldfish and not throw up (y)

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

deanna. kyle probably fell asleep LOL

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight 

hmhmhmhmhmhmhmh deanna??? maybe??? i mean maybe not always but i just see her being more connected to her phone than kyle, like surfing social media etc. and like i bet hes an iPad guy. so like maybe he steals the wall socket a lot and shes like k remind me to steal ur charger before we go to bed and hes like k *forgets immediately*

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

both? but i feel like mostly deanna. always givin’ him the heckin spooks because hes dumb .

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can 

both.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

deanna feels more rambunctious tbh.

☼ EMILY & MILES ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

WELL IF THERE’S ANYTHING MORE SOLID ABOUT EMILY AS A CHARACTER ITS THAT SHE HAS A N UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH DOGS. she is every dog lover tumblr post ever. barney, her UNNECESSARILY HUMONGOUS bernese mountain dog is her pride and son.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

maybe miles but like more as a joke because like emily adores photography, she used to do a lot of it when she was a teenager for school because her dad was really interested in vintage cameras (see also: her box brownie collection she considered selling) and so thats a nice part of im to hold onto for her. he gave her a polaroid camera which she broke in one of her first big mental break downs. then some years later, a boyfriend at the time bought her a new one which she used a lot for a while. then they broke up and she hasn’t really touched photography since. anyway basically i think miles would probably know most of this (all her polaroids are probably still packed up in a box) so he’d pick up her camra sometimes like “photograph me like one of ur french women~” and shed be like omg stop ur being a silly goose ily.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

miles @ emily. sometimes shes such a sad rain cloud and so i think he would resort to any small stupid thing just to make her smile.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

emily would rather die than watch a horror movie i think LOL. 2 spooky.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

i think miles respects emily too much to bother her when shes working, knowing she takes it all very seriously. but likeeeee, at the same time, maybe if he noticed she was already distracted he would try to egg it on cause maybe he’d think like why miss the opportunity to do something together instead if shes not gonna be busy??? idk. thats a real stab in the dark, i hope all my assuming isnt way off LOL

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

emily. worried mama bear.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

miles is the stormer, emily is the cryer. 100%

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

emily. she doesn’t sleep very well anyway so she’ll read or watch obscure film/tv.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

miles?????????????? probably??? emily is such a shy little squirt when it comes to sex, i think shes very happy to recieve whatever he’s willing to give her but as for her own actions shes too scared to be very adventurous.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

miles. if only they could afford a car… /sheds tear/

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

emily !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes the person people hate at christmas time. but see also australia has like no game when it comes to inter/national holidays. our chrismas is in the summer so like reindeers and snow and hot cocoa and fireplaces and shit doesnt make sense. its an entirely different culture. same with halloween, its in the spring, there’s no fall colours, orange pumpkins, etc. having these holidays to REALLY celebrate into overkill in the states is probably her favourite thing about living there.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

miles feels like the angry silent type. emily is the non-confrontational silent type. so both, depending what the argument was about.

who plays with the others’ hair more

i kind of see miles, like if theyre on the couch watching tv or whatever, his arm slung round her and distractedly playing with a lock.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

hmmm, neither.

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

when emily is a happy clam, shes very loving. her mood really changes her physical interactions. when shes sad or distracted or stressed or focused, she is very recluse and really just likes to be left alone. but when shes feeling inspired and happy, she’s all for hugs and kisses and touching.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

miles? LOLOL if emily would EVER tell him to be quiet. a highly unlikely scenario though.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

i think that miles is mostly the one to always start it, but never with an expectation that she’ll want to? because he knows how much of an awko taco she is about it? its kind of like a very hesitant, curious sus of the situation~ and if shes down then cool if shes not well then theres always next week maybe LOL. but real talk, i think its really special when emily initiates. its very like Big Moment™ and a real surprise and relief to miles’ stress levels cause otherwise he’s always feeling pushed out ja feel? so i think that the simple answer is miles and hes used to her shutting it down if shes not in the mood. but like everything about them its complicated LOL.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

miles forgets and emily brings like 5. i feel like shes the cutie who holds it and he keeps an arm/jacket around her to keep her from freezing to death bc old married couple :’)

who demands showering first in the mornings

i mean emily likes routine but i feel like miles is the early riser for work and is always gne by the time she gets up probably.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

either or neither, depending on the night before :P 

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

emily is also a wimp and i dont imagine she likes heights very much. miles strikes me as the “big panda winner” type.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

emily if shes either a) worried or b) unsure and keeps tacking on after thoughts.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

ehhhhh, neither? i expect they both rely heavily on them for work so no point with a dead phone.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

miles.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

emily.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

neither? i mean emily is basically a mouse but yeah. neither.

☼ ADAM & JULIE ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

adam. 200%. he has no impulse control.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

adam AHAHAHA, i bet he would take photos of himself on her phone a lot. as if he’s doing her some public service. change his name to “hot adam” in her phone and take a snapchat filter photo of him with some dumb sunglasses on or something. use one of those dumb filters that put your face on the body of some dancing thing and set it as her wallpaper. basically he is so vain.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

adam. he doesnt get embarrassed easily and one day hes gonna like julie a lot and notice theres a dark raincloud in there somewhere he needs to chase away. so might as well do that with laughter.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

adam but he’d want her to cling to him so it would be this whole elaborate plan. like “here let me set up the situation this is how its gonna go its gonna be great” and julie is gonna be like omfg stop and then hes gonna finish the movie wanting to vomit like “well that was not fun at all why did you talk me into this ur a bad friend”

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

julie strikes me as the hardworking type. adam is 100% the literal child wanting her attention.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

adam ofc. but then it could be cute, like julie could start seeing dumb shit and text him like “i saw a guy who got thrown out of walmart today bc he tried to steal a the simpsons on dvd” and he’ll immediately laugh and call her like “WAS IT THE BEST THING? TELL ME EVERYTHING” bc his job is a lot of boring sitting around most of the time. he’ll learn when her lunch breaks are and call her to annoy her but also bc lonely.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

adam would storm. idk if julie would cry?

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

hmmmmmmmmm, maybe julie? if its something shes really into or is anxious and cant sleep? bc adam is 100% that guy whos like “pf what no ill be up for HOURS” zonks out @ 9pm

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

adam, hes a kinky shit. but HEY maybe she is 2. we might never kno  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

adam. literal child.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

i feel like julie has WICKED eye for interior? maybe she doesn’t, but her pinterest board lead me to believe shes stylish af. so i feel like she’d have a good time decorating. unless shes got deep family / body issues rooted to holidays which i could also see being a thing. people stareotypically eat a lot at christmas and thanksgiving omfg, so maybe she hates holidays. IDK. IDK THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE but im also pretty sure adam would dress as a sexy santa like u wouldnt even have to ask he’d be so down. i mean this is probably his favourite christmas related thing tbh (NSFW). im also aware that still doesnt answer the question.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

adam. bye falicia~

who plays with the others’ hair more

adam but in an annoying way LOL

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

the image of adam climbing all over julie is weird af LOL. so like. maybe neither, idk?

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

adam. hes so convinced he’ll get her to give in one day. ONE DAYYY.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

adam.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

adam sTILL. hes so annoying hahaha.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

adam forgets, julie holds. mostly cause he probably gets them all wet cause hes an adhd kid half the time. 

who demands showering first in the mornings

hmmmm, maybe julie? adams probably a freak and showers at night.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

adam 200%

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

adam would LOVE rollercoasters. i dont know about julie?

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

have you met adam “pay attention to me” kane ???

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

hmmm, if it had to be one of them, probably adam.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

adam. anything for the ass grab.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

i dont know this one tbh.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

adam. obnoxious piece of work.