#i believe they get scripts beforehand

[boyfhee]

fans will use the lamest excuse to defend wonyoung

[eamour]

the way you manifest.

everybody has a different way of manifesting. some like to script, some like to affirm, and some like to just visualise their desires. however, some methods seem to work for some but don’t really work on others. why is that so?

the law of assumption.

now, the reason behind why everybody seems to have their own way of manifesting or why certain manifestation methods and techniques you cannot seem to be successful with can still ensure other people success is because of the LAW. once again, it's called the law of assumption — and it operates with BELIEF. what you assume or believe to be true, has to be true.

everything is an assumption.

in practice, this means that these methods and techniques seem to "function" well for some because they ASSUME that they will function well for them. on the contrary, the methods and techniques that you believe won’t help you manifest, eventually won’t help you. another example is that you might believe affirming might not work for you but works really good for others. the result: everyone can manifest with the use of affirmations except you.

no preassigned meaning.

it is important to not that with the law, nothing actually is the way it is and nothing is promised to remain the way it is�� not unless you say otherwise. in this reality, things aren’t factual, forever or fixed. they don’t have any meaning attached to them. YOU give them meaning first.

the creator's rules.

if you know how the law works, you know that you can use it to your advantage. you can decide how you want to manifest by coming up with your own rules and correctly applying them. you can even influence the way a method or a technique will function for you. and not just methods and techniques! here are some examples for rules you could have:

rule one · i always manifest within 2 days.

rule two · manifesting is easy for me.

rule three · i can manifest even if i feel sad.

loopholes in manifesting.

now, what are loopholes in manifesting? a loophole is an ambiguity or inadequacy in the law or a set of rules, according to its official definition. in more simple words, they are subjective rules you have set up to simplify manifesting. you could almost say they are "cheat codes", coding the way you manifest.

you know, there are rules to manifesting. actually, there is only one: your assumptions create. for an assumption to manifest, you need to believe in it. now, i'm not saying you can’t have doubts, but there has to be at least a little belief in there, somewhere. now, see how i said "somewhere"? what i mean is that somewhere within the process of manifesting, there needs to be BELIEF.

1 · belief in assumption. you can believe in having your desire and manifest it.

2 · belief in method. you can believe that doing a method xyz times makes you manifest your desire.

3 · belief in self. you can believe that you always manifest your desires.

this is why many people who robotically affirm can manifest. they have the assumption that they either don’t need to believe their assumptions to manifest or that simply doing the method guarantees them their desire. other loopholes could be that only desirable thoughts of you manifest or that affirming once is enough for you.

the best way to manifest.

knowing all of this, it is clear to say one thing: there is no best or perfect way to manifest. technically, they are all the same. since manifesting is personal, it is your decision to decide which methods work for you or not, which techniques get you better or quicker results. and remember, all methods and techniques are all equally accessible to you. you don’t have to do anything beforehand. you don’t have to prove yourself to be worthy or deserving for a method to work for you. again, YOU are the creator.

manifesting is personal.

in conclusion, we all manifest similarly but still differently — and that’s alright! each one of us is an individual and the way we apply the law is personal. that being said, feel free to come up with your own rules! make the law work for you the way YOU would like it to and remain faithful to your rules. that way you can make manifesting a lot more easier.

with love, ella.

[miwiheroes]

Bylers, we need to talk about something…

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts pertaining to what will happen in season 5 relating to byler recently, as have we all, but I’ve also been wondering about the audience’s reaction to it if it happens.

Actually, i’ve been more concerned not about the GA’s reaction, but our reaction to how they handle it. I just want to say beforehand, that I might be projecting my issues with negativity and conflict (i’m a very very optimistic person it’s rough being on social media these days lmao) and I also very much believe that they will make byler canon in some way or another. It just makes sense with the narrative. But I fear we will never be happy with how they do it and we never learn from our previous mistakes lmao

Before season 4 came out, I sort of was a fan of byler, but i was very very casual, as in I didn’t interact with many fan theories, I wasn’t on twitter (still not on there because I have a phobia of negativity eek) and I wasn’t on tumblr, I would occasionally check out the edits and fanarts and I think I was just Aware of it, because I always root for the gay ship to happen ofc..

So when season 4 vol. 1 came out I was excited about the direction they were taking byler, and I could see that it was finally canon that Will was gay, rather than theorised. When season 4 vol. 2 came out, I had not been on sttwt or st tumblr during the time between the volumes because I had other fandoms prioritised around the time. I watched the Van Scene with my parents and suddenly I was acutely aware of just how gay they were (because I always get scared of watching anything queercoded around my parents lmao).

By the end of season 4, I was like YES! this season was amazing for a byler set up next season, although i was more focused on other characters too. I then kind of saw the byler script stuff but not the full extent of it, and I saw many edits and fanarts of them but that was it!

Now it’s 2024 and I have a major hyperfixation on byler, (due to the season 5 bts and the fact stranger things keeps popping up on my fyp it’s crazy) and now I’m on byler tumblr (not twt tho .. sorry) to find all the evidence I can and get all hyped up for s5! But I’ve also seen old posts from around 2022…

Literally every single one was extremely disappointed from season 4 vol. 2, and I was confused, seeing as I was very happy with it and I liked byler (my fave byler scene is from vol. 2 and no it’s not the van scene). If I’m being totally honest, and I might get some hate for this, I think we all had wildly, wildly high expectations and the disappointment was our own doing.

I personally never really judge a show before it’s finished (obviously not sitcoms and shows like that) unless it has really really terrible writing ofc, but I always choose to reserve judgement until all the character arcs are wrapped up and I can look back and see why things were made to be.

I understand the whole anger with Mike’s behaviour towards Will and how Will was treated poorly by him, but isn’t that the point? Mike loving Will back in season 5 would then be more satisfying after all that. It’s a set-up for the next season, no?

I don’t know why or how people thought that Mike would suddenly resolve all his internalised homophobia or something during that season, and I reckon if the whole season had come out at once instead of two volumes (i hate the two volumes thing sm omg) people would have been much happier because we wouldn’t have had time to create insane theories or unrealistic expectations that, let’s be real, were not in line with what we have seen so far with byler.

So, I just want to say that I’m a little afraid for season 5, because I know that byler will likely be canon, but people just won’t be happy because it won’t be in the exact way that they had theorised. Sorry to break it to you, but you, random person on tumblr, are not a screen writer. More specifically, you’re not a screen writer for stranger things.

I think it’s fun to theorise at the moment, but I just want to remind people that this pattern has happened before and we never learn? Like, none of our theories are coming true. Not one of them. Did I theorise the exact van scene? Did I theorise the part at the end where Mike grabs Will’s shoulder? No. But am I happy with those scenes? Hell yeah.

So on the build up to season 5, I just want to caution everyone to not assume that specific things are going to happen when it’s just a result of an echochamber (such as the milkvan breakup scene being right at the beginning or the painting being brought up). You’ll just be angry for no good reason.

The only reasons I’m personally going to be angry with how they handle byler is:

1. If it’s not canon and Will’s love goes unrequited/ he has another love interest somehow…

2. If either of them die after having a relationship during season 5 (bury your gays is stUPID)

3. If one of them dies before the other gets to tell them they love them/ kiss

4. If they get together without Mike apologising (it could be in literally any way, obvious or not) for his poor behaviour.

But that’s it, the rest of it is literally up to them.

Hope ur not too mad, but it just needed to be said.

[ironunderstands]

I decided to take notes while I played through 2.3… so here they are

First Scene

-stellaron sealed when we were asleep apparently 

-was Sunday the one to tailor everyone’s dreams?

-dreamscape itself exists???

-march’s memories are weird as normal, tentacle tried to reach into her brain but found SOMETHING???

-we were asleep when this all happened and we woke up and immediately asked if it was a dream so something is already up oh boy 

Second Scene 

-firefly and silverwolf yay 

-firefly is still on the wanted list, as Firefly this time 

-it was a missing part of her life she got back 

-Silverwolf helps her out with not being able to move freely, giving her a way out of dreaming ig??? Helps her navigate through unbothered ?

-idk the mechanics of it if you can’t tell

-Miss Samuel as a fake name lmao 

-GENIUS SOCIETY IS HERE?? WHYYY?? HUHHH

-firefly’s script isn’t over yet (third death I assume?)

-“didn’t bring you back to hear an answer like that,” did SW think she already experienced the third death? On her second death was SW the one to revive her, as it seemed like she did that on her own in 2.2?

-yeah she hasn’t done 3rd death yet, and I assume the “unforgettable reward,” is *sighs* time with the Trailblazer 

-“How will I know if I don’t try?” Hmmm this confuses me 

-SW says she’s already made up her mind 

-ooh Kafka asks for some gifts LMAOO, fashionable as always

-to Oti mall I guess, isn’t that one of the people who expressed disappointment in Sunday?

-BLADE ADVICE? telling her to not get tempted, tempted by what?

-YAY SHE GETS NORMAL GIRL TIME THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED

-oat cakes for SW or Kafka or Blade? Aww Stellaron Hunter family bonding 

-oh is she trying to defy the script?

-adding new footnotes to her destiny, hmm

Third Scene

-TOPAZ POV

-I DIED OMGNDNAKDJKWJDD

-were are on the Radiant Felddpar ship 

-Family is there but “Big Boss” isn’t, I assume that’s Jade

-there’s music notes in the air? Robin?

-Topaz points out how weird this choice of location is

-ship belongs to Alfalfa Family

-npc we are talking to also thinks it should have been held in a more secretive area (Moment of Morning Dew)

-not serious enough atmosphere 

-something’s up definitely 

-Topaz thinks conference is just a prelude- whatever Family organizer wanted to assess the IPC’s stance beforehand

-she thinks they either have their own ambitions and want a preliminary agreement, or want to make the IPC back off, we shall see ig

-Big Boss is a her (definitely Jade), Topaz complimented, saying others must be cautious of her 

-tells subordinate Thomas to just tell the rest of her employees to stay focused on the task ahead 

-yeah it’s Jade, act shocked, also she’d get mad if he called her that 😭😭

-walking around time 

-there is music all around the ship 

-not very important but there are paper birds here too

-none of the important figures have arrived to the meeting room yet, so let’s look around 

This is just from looking around:

-why are there dream pools on the ship? I thought we were already in the dream?

-the torment eagle things are here too 

-and nightingale paintings

-Sparkles bombs, delightful 

-why is there a room on the ship that looks like Mishas room in the dream 

-it seems like the Family is already aware of the bombs and is looking for them based on the dialogue of the NPCs

-there’s a lost kid on the ship?

-so many doors are closed off

-absurdist clock fun 

-the quest is titled “All About Eve” like Eve from the Bible? Is that referring to Jade?

-exhibit that hasn’t been delivered yet

-Robin has instructed them to prepare some things but it seems like the Family isn’t ready yet?

Ok I’m gonna talk to the workers now

-ok talked to the one by Sparkles bombs and Sparkle started talking 

-Numby can hear her I think, I don’t think Topaz did

-yeah Topaz doesn’t know they are bombs that Sparkle hands out, apparently she was disguised as man- maybe Sampo?, uh no all the Buttons are in one place 

-somehow nobody pressed a button, I don’t believe that, the NPC also says that all guests are terrified of death, but like, how did nobody press it?

-yep we are in the dream bc she wants to feed Numby and questions the food quality in a dream

-Numby does not like Oat Cake Rolls

-Topaz will give them a better meal in reality

-so why is there a dreamscape pool in the dream 

-asks more about Radiant Feldspar, which is also owned by Oti Alfalfa, just like the store Firefly wanted to go to

-built an Amber Era ago, it sails across all 12 hours- so they are connected you just have to cross them I guess? Or like does it slip through dimensions 

-Topaz recognizes Old Oti, however what’s weird is that despite how she points out how well decorated it is, there seems to be a lot of stuff missing + Robin thing from earlier

-only prestigious guests are invited, so how did that Pepeshi get lost?

-Ship had been sailing since it was built but was halted due to the recent reverberation 

-reverberation aka whatever the fuck just happened in 2.2

-Family attendant repeats that everything has been resolved and the Charmony Festival had to be temporarily postponed 

-so it’s gonna happen on the ship now, and will also resume the ships voyage, so I guess that’s why Robin ordered some things and everything is a bit out of place

-However, why are they gathering Sparkles Bombs onto the celebration + meeting ship? Why not anywhere else?

-Talent Motivation Department mention 

-ppl still coming after Topaz for Jarilo I will kill them <3

-poor girl can’t get a break, JADE IS HERE

CUTSCENE SO MUCH HAPPENED

-Numby does not trust or like Jade at all

-Topaz is fucking star struck on her knees dying down bad gay gay gay 

-Jade commends her for the Jarilo project, saying the Express’s favor is far more valuable than the planet itself 

-Jade says Topaz can tell her anything, then holds out her Cornerstone as if Topaz would talk to it???

-hmmm

-“you can always tell me anything, remember?” Ah so they are close, and Topaz seems to trust her and vice versa, however I (and Numby) do not trust Jade so there is something sinister going on 

Alright cutscene yapping over

-Jade says to drop the title, that they are equals

-Topaz calls her a senior, but I think she just means in rank

-Jade wants Topaz to be at her best- upcoming negotiations leave no room for error

-true purpose of conference: Oti testing limits of 2 stonehearts before offical negotiations can commence, works in their favor bc it will cause future negotiations to go smoother if they can reach an agreement (this is obvious benefit)

-hidden benefit: demonstrates the Family isn’t all that united bc he’s meeting w them first on his own territory + taking control of Charmony Festival too

-they aren’t entirely influenced by the Harmony so their personal desires shine through, influential figures haven’t suppressed their own 

-with the Dreammaster gone, the Family has begun to fall apart slowly, seems like after 2.2 Oti took over 

-Jade taught her to Listen, test and strike, Jade teases her that she changed the order on Jarilo- Topaz’s personal experience  caused this (her seeing her past/trauma in Belabog)

-meeting time!

-meeting esteemed “supporting actor” hmm

-goal is to create an opportunity for IPC to enter Penacony- Aventurine made a small hole for them to enter, and they are going to tear it wide open

Some more looking around 

-the bombs/buttons are gone 😨 and so is that guard 

-was there a projector in that room (with the dream pool) before?

-diff family attendant at that spot before

Ok back to plot time

-oh this is the place where the divergent universe takes place (I started it a bit yesterday lol, oops), seems like that’s what the Genius Society will get a hold of at the end of this?

-Oti is a Pepeshi, and I really like his character model, he seems welcoming?

Looking around time again 

-the mechanism they use for the Divergent Universe is already there- did Ratio and Screwllum meet with Oti beforehand? Is that how he figured out Dormancy?

-some more locked doors

-Whales outside the window.. (Childe flashbacks)

-let’s talk to Jade before we see Oti

-oh we can’t it just makes us walk beside her

Conversation time

-Oti is hospitable, asks them to forgive him for the wait

-Oti is such a businessman that the Strategic Investment Department makes it a requirement to read his biography

-she’s trying to flatter him but I think Jade is also warning him that she and the rest of the department know everything about him and who he is 

-Topaz doesn’t seem to notice that though and praises him for single handedly building Penacony economy 

-Oti noticed Jade’s tactics I think

-he gets straight to the point- future of Penacony

-Oti questions wtf Aventurine was doing and why 😭, almost getting killed and for what?

-oh he figured them out LMAOO, yup that was for an opportunity 

-haha Jade says “fuck he figured us out” nicely

-she puts the pressure back on him, asking Oti how he would respond 

-he first admires her composure at being called out

-“Oti won’t sit idly by when faced with a greedy wolf,” is he referring to the IPC, Aventurine or both?

-offscreen negotiation

-seems he said something that offended Topaz and Jade, Jade says she’s all ears

-Oti says he requested this meeting to dissuade the SID from trying to lay a finger on Penacony

-asks them to back off before they lose face in the future 

-Topaz points out their fuck ups- Aventurine almost getting murdered and the Charmony Festival fuck up, that there are plenty of real issues plaguing the area

-Oti says they need to be more creative in the land of dreams 

-“My actions will help Penacony take a significant step forward by “self-listing” and going public!” What does that mean 

-Jade asks if he’s gonna bypass the IPC and go public on a universal scale (still don’t know what that means)

-rather than letting the IPC take hold, he’s gonna open the sweet dream to everyone in the universe- which is worded REALLY sinister if you ask me- is he gonna try and make everyone in it dream?

-he redirects and says that from today, anyone can become a shareholder in the Land of Dreams, and that’s the Path of Harmony he chooses

-Oti was aware of the Oaks family’s entanglement with the Order, calls them blockheads who prevented this from happening sooner

-Oti is thankful that the “reverberation” (Sunday and Order’s downfall) has allowed for the obstacle between him and his reforms to be eliminated

-publicize their finances so the universe still has faith in them + the Family remains confident in its future

-neither Jade nor Topaz seem happy about this, seems like they don’t feel as if they are on equal footing

-Jade asks Oti if he’s being waiting for Penacony to regain the spotlight, so if the IPC does anything, their actions will be scrutinized by trillions of people 

-asks them to consider their next moves carefully 

-Jade suggests they conclude the first half of their conference, and that they will respond on the behalf of the IPC later

-he just tells them to take their time (Oti is confident he is in control)

Scene 4- Trailblazer POV

-seems that meeting has concluded as Dan Heng asks if the Alfalfa Family had a meeting with the IPC

-Aventurine told them that to “return the favor”

-I wonder what happened in the meantime to get us here

-Welt points out that Penacony hasn’t changed much since the prison era, suggests that Penacony would rather invite the IPC to the table- on the surface to cooperate- but in reality to secure their own survival 

-which is why the Astral Express are now mediators, and Dan Heng doesn’t know who to stand behind

-Welt doesn’t trust the followers of the Harmony to be as innocent as they presume they are

-if either the Family or the IPC were to take control of Penacony, the efforts of the previous nameless to free it from that illusory hedonism would go to waste

-we were in a deep sleep apparently (uh oh)

-one of the dialogue options says that TB felt like they were in a really long dream 

-another asks where Himeko is

-Welt says their adventure in Penacony is reaching its conclusion

-After Ena’s dream shattered, Montour System’s branch of the Family took control of the situation, most members of the Oak Family fell unconscious? But their lives weren’t in danger 

-Gopher Wood, the previous Dreamaster was confirmed to be the mastermind behind everything, however we know that Sunday killed him. But didn’t he kill him in the dream? So how did gopher wood die in reality? Or did like, the power of the Order that Sunday must have used on him cause that, or did he step outside the dream to face Gopher, then go back in?

-Sunday will face a trial: the Family won’t disclose any further details 

-public perceived incident as an attack by evil forces targeting the Charmony festival, believing the Family had failed to safeguard the sweet dream which eroded their credibility significantly

-at least it has the least impact? Even if it’s far from what really went down 

-SIOBHAN IS BACK

-she says they will get over it

-“you don’t know who’s awake and who’s pretending to be asleep”- another ominous line 

-gives them a toast 

-trailblazer asks why she’s there again, Siobhan is just confused 

-asks when they will leave Penacony

-Welt says they will stay a bit longer, just not too long 

-she says this farewell is missing something 

-“maybe a special drink to honor those who are not here” oh yeah Gallagher is gone GONE

-To the Nameless resting in peace… and to Gallagher, oh he’s so gone

Walking around time again 

-everyone but Himeko is here 

Ok taking this many notes is exhausting and is lowkey killing my enjoyment 😭 so I’ll just leave the REALLY important stuff from now on 

-The Family claims the Oak Family used the stellaron to help sink everyone into Ena’s dream 

-others had their own delusional dreams 

-DH says the hidden dangers of the Order have always been within the Harmony, an issue that has persisted in the Family from the very beginning 

-more awareness makes this complicated 

-March has a button now too, says she was told the buttons will explode Penacony if pressed 

-himeko’s been up to something lately she will tell us at the festival

-Siobhan gives us another drink, saying it will “bring back the flavors of Penacony” which makes me believe it will help us get back here somehow 

-Welt is sure it will leave a lasting impression, hmmm

-she says if we happen to find Gallagher, to let him have a sip 

Scene 5: Jade POV

-Oti is tricky but there is still hope

-Jade asked Topaz to make a phone call offscreen, presumably to the express who agreed

-talking in code

-Jade asks Topaz if she thinks Penacony is worth it

-Topaz says yes

-Jade questions if this project is too bland for her

-Topaz says she would be here if it weren’t for Aventurine

-Jade pointed out she entrusted him with a cornerstone, which is as precious as life itself to finish this gamble 

-however Topaz points at out that Jade’s stone couldn’t have made it in without either of their cornerstones: and that the Jade stone allows Jade to see all desires that flow through the dreams to gain a bargaining chip in the negotiations: this must be the “harvest” Jade was referring to in 2.1, seems like this is her Cornerstone’s ability 

-Perhaps that’s why she held it up earlier? To allow Topaz to vent her feelings into the Jade stone?

-Topaz actually staked her Topaz’s stone for Jade’s sake, not Aventurine’s

-Jade is greatful Aven is alive, saying it’s the best outcome, Topaz immediately says they have strayed off topic

-Jade says she will go alone, instructs Topaz to meet “honored guest”- likely the Nameless

-Jade spots Robin

-turns out we were actually in the previously locked off rooms in the back of where we met Oti, he’s still there, and he’s wearing glasses? Was he before? We can’t talk to him tho 

-ah this also unlocked some more doors- it’s where the ship is captained, but the captains room is locked 

-Robin is preparing for Charmony Festival

-Jade lies saying she’s on her way to meet Oti really she’s just here for info before meeting him 

-Robins never met him, she says Alfalfa is respectable when it comes to business, but not necessarily in other respects

-Jade asks where Robin thinks Penacony is heading, Robin is hopeful, thinks Harmony needs new direction 

-“no permanent allies or everlasting enemies,”

-2nd half of negotiations- no Topaz this time

-Jade is gonna be meaner bc Topaz isn’t here you go manipulative queen 

-says Oti is not the only merchant who has seen the changes in the cosmic market over the past ten Amber Eras

-Jade declares that Penacony has no way of sidestepping the IPC and going public, that they can’t stop the IPC, the IPC will tear down and rebuild as they see fit

-tells Oti that if he doesn’t want to be a laughingstock and have everyone after him, he better drop his “pie-in-the-sky-plan” perhaps he was planning on using Sparkles bombs to take out the IPC ambassadors now that the protection of not being able to die in the dream is no longer there- or at least he has control over it

-Jade reminds him IPC controls more than half the news in the universe 

-says trillions of customers will receive a, “The Family’s protection for Penacony has expired. Any mishaps in the Dreamscape could result in permanent brain death,” message from the IPC if Penacony decides to go public

-threatens to make his entire currency worthless with how many contingencies the IPC has, Jade is confident she can pull it off, even from Pier Point

-she promises that the IPC won’t jeopardize the interests of the Family heads under Oti’s leadership if he gives up the plan to go public 

-they (IPC) want allies in Asdana, Jade says they can assist Penacony with financing, will acquire 30% equity shares from the Family, and in exchange will also help rebuild Penacony 

-Oti thinks it’s too much, and worried about the future 

-Jade happily says there are no guarentees- this is based on mutual respect- but the board of directors will consider the interests of the Family heads to some extent

-she points out this would be beneficial for the Family, and for him, if they both take a step back, also points out this will attract more customers like he wanted 

-as the head of the Alfalfa family, Oti accepts, seeing no reason to refuse, but as THEIR (Xipe’s) chosen one, he still needs one final answer (hmmm this is an interesting detail)

-talks about the rise of Xipe and fall of Ena, he asks why the IPC seeks to collaborate with the Family (Harmony) rather than the Order, who is far closer in ideals (Preservation)

-Jade says it’s about credit, saying that through the Preservation, the IPC can perpetually ensure credits value, meaning they have no need for the Order, as they have made their own, with Qilpoths “credit” being the heart of everything

-Oti understands this will eventually lead to the IPC taking control over everything 

-“this universe doesn’t need two types of Order” (Preservation and the Order)

-Oti says he’s convinced 

-code words from before come back in (shit I should have written them down, it was poison something, sweet dew, and apple something, sweet dew shows up this time per Topaz’s invite)

-unsurprisingly, it’s one of the Nameless: Himeko

-Astral Express will be shareholders? Perhaps this is so they can guarantee the future the Nameless wanted like Welt mentioned

-IPC gets 30%, gives 5% to the express to “honor the sacrifices and contributions made by the former Nameless to the Land of the Dreams,” which is A) true B) the real honor is the express now having a foot in the door to prevent Penacony from being like it was before

-Himeko is a member for the board of directors- what board? One in the IPC, or for Penacony, the Family?

-crew agreed to assist in reconstruction of Penacony, and commit to bringing the dreams of Penacony to other worlds 

-However, they really wish for the Harmony to not be distorted again, that tragedy must never occur again

-negotiations end, we (as Jade) will go to meet up w Topaz again 

-Jade believes the family heads will soon realize the situation, and that Oti’s agreement didn’t just represent their agreement, but the followers of the Harmony in general (this last part is only implied though)

-Topaz says she will handle the arrangements for formal negotiations 

-Jade allows her to- gives Topaz a sense of control OOOH THE MANIPULATIONNNNN

-Topaz is shocked bc big responsibility, but Jade interrupts

-she says that Aventurine initiated this case and Topaz was his project partner, but since he overplayed his hand (taking on a case he couldn’t handle on his own?) Jade got pushed to the forefront 

-OOH MORE MANIPULATION, Jade says she came here to help Topaz sort out the toughest issues, saying “I trust you’ll be able to wrap things up quite nicely, little Jelena,”

-Topaz’s objections immediately get pushed aside bc of Jades words, and asks Jade to give Diamond her assurance

-Jade tells her to not worry, Diamond has always trusted them, and Jade will put in a good word for her, and Topaz will get her position (P45) back in no time

-Jade claims her business is done so she’s gonna indulge in her own little hobby (I’m scared)

-which is opening a Bonajade Exchange branch on this ship, whatever that is, Jade believes the guests on this ship had or a wealth of valuable treasures tho 

-it’s a pawnshop, and Jade says she will leave, saying she’ll “see you around Topaz”

-Topaz has one more question, Jade gladly lets her ask, she asks about the dose of “bitter poison”, wondering how Jade got it (I’m guessing her Cornerstone), it wasn’t her cornerstone, a “lady concerned with the future of the Harmony” told her (maybe this is Robin? But it seems like that was their first meeting? Hmm) 

-Jade says she agreed to help her with something later (which makes me think this was Sparkle now haha), and that they can deal with it after they leave Penacony

-“that’s what ‘investment’ is all about”- the seeds of opportunity have already been soon and Jade simply gives them a little bit of nourishment for them to take root, afterwards all they (her and Topaz) need to do is wait patiently 

-like right now, and Jade’s final “guest” boarded the ship

I’m insane about this actually yall. TOPAZ CENTRIC STORY??? WHAT IF I DIED. Also I love the way Jade was written in this, they made her as manipulative as I wanted her to be, so yeah I love her THEY COMMITED TO THE BIT I PRAYED FOR TIMES LIKE THIS

Scene 6: Firefly POV

-she boards (rather sneaks onto) the ship, so I assume she’s Jade’s final guest 

-oh she’s heading to the pawnshop that grants wishes (it’s definitely Jade’s), perhaps to get those gifts she wanted earlier, or defy her destiny like she wanted to earlier?

-hey those closed off areas are unlocked W

-she spots TB, Robin is also there 

-there’s a nice banquet table for people in that room, we got a shot of it earlier during Topaz, Jade and Oti’s meeting, idk what line of dialogue it was for tho 

-Firefly overhears Robin saying that she will, “present a gift to the Astral Express on behalf of The Family as a token of gratitude for the Nameless’ contributions to Penacony”, asking for the staff to help her w the arrangements

-Firefly then asks how to get to the pawnshop, yup it’s Jade’s spot, she gets the directions 

-Silverwolf was gonna meet w the Genius Society? Why? Also apparently she mentioned Jade’s stuff earlier, I don’t remember that though, maybe I forgot to write it down

-we can look for the TB so I’m going to 

-TB is being a dumbass as ever and Firefly is amused 

-she wants to talk to us but Firefly wants to meet Jade first 

-we can’t go over there even if we want to

-Jade made her exchange in the dream pool room for some reason 

-asks Jade to call her Samuel

-Firefly says she wants to give up living, and that she’s willing to give up everything she has

-even Jade is gagged

-Firefly is like yup! Everything!

-Jade says she should turn around bc she’s not familiar with the term, “pawn” aka she’s betting quite literally EVERYTHING

-Jade says she doesn’t have anything of equal value to offer her

-Firefly is upset, says this shop must just be a marketing gimmick 

-Jade says she will help Firefly understand what she means, telling her to go and talk to the other customers, when she understands what “pawn” really means

-we see the TB being stupid again, this time w Dan Heng tagging along

-again she plans on catching up w them later

-first person she meets, Stacy, finally won a gamble w the blessing of Lady Bonajade

-there also seems to be way more guests on the ship 

-second person she meets, a Pepeshi named Dell, gets his crush named Dorothy to go out with him, implied that he wished for her to say yes

-ppl seem to be gossiping about a grey haired person, either Firefly or TB

-yup it’s TB

-someone has been hiding in the Moment of Sol in Penacony under a fake identity, proposing as a professor at Paperfold academy, apparently this intellatron (Walker) found him (idk who him is) with the help of an influential figure 

-ah this is unimportant this was just the wishes of the third person

-Firefly still doesn’t get it, but their wishes did seem to come true

-Jade said it was just to show the exchange was genuine, how she shows how all three of them gave up so much in exchange for their wishes, so yeah, glorified drug dealer, but it is an equal exchange, and Jade only encourages these people’s delusions, giving with the power of her Cornerstone for a hefty price

-uses their endless cycle of desires to get what Jade desires from their whirlpool of horrific decision making 

-Jade knows Firefly’s identity, and she asks Firefly if she’s really willing to give up everything, Firefly isn’t surprised though 

-Entropy Loss Syndrome was thrust upon all of the Iron Calvary in order to keep them fighting for Glamoth, and from falling into the wrong hands 

-Firmament Front is gone so those who know the secret and could cure the disease are nowhere to be found, but Firefly still wishes to continue her existence 

-Firefly asks if the IPC has a remedy 

-Jade just says there might be a silver lining and leaves it at that 

-Firefly realizes that she can’t provide anything of equal value bc nothing she owns has any meaning 

-asks Jade if she’s gonna ask her to restrain the other Stellaron Hunters for her survival 

-that’s not the case though, Jade acknowledges how remarkable close the Stellaron Hunters are, compares them to the Stonehearts, OOOHH LORE DROP

-Jade says like how the Stoneheart follow Diamond, the Stellaron Hunters are, “Traveling on the Path of Finality but struggling against your destiny, attempting to move in the opposite direction?”

-Firefly remains silent

-Jade hopes all of them will visit her pawnshop one day

-Firefly asks if she can see this as an invitation from Diamond to the Stellaron hunters behind the IPC’s back

-Jade says to consider it a person offer, not representing the IPC or SID

-Firefly says she will pass on the offer, but she has a question

-Firefly points out that SW could let the entirety of Pier Point know of this in seconds, so why would Jade ask this 

-Jade says it’s because she believes her and Firefly are the same

OH MY GOD STONEHEART PICTURE

-she believes the Stonehearts band together to get what they want, and have been invited by Diamond to join them whilst on their own journeys

-Jade says all stonehearts carry a void (ambition) that can only be filled from the outside 

-also omg Topaz and Aven look GOOOODD GRERRAAAA TOPAZ LOOOS SO FINE EEJFHJEJAKSKWS RAAAAA AVENNNNNNTURJEJNWKAND AAAA

-so Diamond promised them something, he divided the power of the Emanator of Preservation into ten pieces (for the ten stonehearts) and gave each of us a Cornerstone to fill that void 

-“Mortal flesh is fragile, yet my heart is unyielding like the monolith. For without this resolve, the way of the Preservation would fade into oblivion.”

-Jade says this pledge goes beyond a mere oath, it’s their collateral in exchange for the Stonehearts desires, and their future 

-whatever they gain from it will make the Stonehearts stronger, allowing them to achieve the great cause of the Preservation (what Diamond wants) when the war among the Aeons eventually comes (HUHH WHAT NOWW I MEAN WERE GETTING THEIR GOALS AT LEAST?!!)

-Jade tells Firefly to take her time 

-Firefly says she will, and says it’s shame that the pawnshop won’t give her what she wants, as her last attempt (death?) will end with “hope”

-Walker comes to give her his memories

Scene 7: Trailblazer 

-he points out how the meeting went smoother than expected 

-Charmony festival opening ceremony is starting soon

-AVENTURINE AND BOOTHILL?!!?

-Boothill threatening Aven jokingly but not jokingly, Aven brushes it off

-seems like they came to an agreement off screen

-he notices us + typical flattery, Boothill gives a normal greeting 

-Aventurine admits his words are nothing more than flattery and not genuine (at least due to the option I picked) 

-Boothill says to set aside the under the table stuff as to not spoil the mood

-Aven gives congratulations bc he can’t be there personally (he’s a hologram) to witness the crew getting celebrated 

-Aven says his job was just to give the IPC an opening, which he achieved (even if it was a mess

-Aven says he wouldn’t have been able to dig up such dirty information without the help of a “knowledgeable friend” HMMM IS THAT RATIO???

-Acheron still fucked him up though, and he admits this would have gone smoother had she not injured him 

-we thank Boothill, he’s like it’s nothing I’m a galaxy ranger it’s part of our duty, he’s happy Galaxy Rangers are making a comeback and asks the TB to pass on his regards to any Hunt followers he meets

-BOOTHILL STRAIGHT UP ADMITS THAT AVENTURINE IS GONNA HELP HIM FIND OSWALDO SCHNEIDER WHO HE HAS A SCORE TO SETTLE WITH??? HE ADMITS THAT!!? HUHHH, I mean he did say he’s not one to beat around the bush but still 

-Aventurine also talks about the feud between the Marketing Development Department (Oswaldo) and Strategic Investment Department (Diamond) is fairly well on wok, but he didn’t expect the Galaxy Rangers to get involved

-he thinks things are gonna get spicy 

-I wonder if the IPC knows about this deal between him and Boothill, I doubt it though, and I think Aven might be hiding this from everyone 

-this reminds me that he was deliberately acting like he hadn’t grown around Jade during their conversation in 2.2, which makes me think he’s planning to do something beyond just whatever he is gonna do with Boothill, or at the very least Aven wants to make things easier for himself by acting as if Penacony didnt change him 

-they wish the TB well, Avens hologram disappears 

RATIO.

EVERYONE PAUSSEEE

-he’s standing where the now activated Divergent Universe thing is AAAA

-it’s all over the screen/hj

-OK CALM DOWN BE SERIOUS 

-OFF THE BAT TSUNDERE - “your performance at Herta’s space station was… adequate, I suppose,” thats high praise coming from you hehehhehe

-“Hm, no wonder the gambler likes you so much.” HUHHH??! Can’t keep AVENS NAME OUT UR DAMN MOUTH FOR MORE THAN 5 SECONDS??? We didn’t even bring him up 

-“This individual is my responsibility during the trip. Hmph, nothing more than an errand from the Office of Academic Affairs,” the who of what now? Not the “hmph” and downplaying 

-tells the Trailblazer to take advantage of the opportunity the Charmony Festival provides 

-TB asks Ratio how he rates Aventurine, Ratio says that the IPC and Guild position them as strategic partners; but Ratio sees himself as a teacher, and like everyone in Ratio’s life, Aventurine as a student, Aven isn’t an ideal student, but not utterly obtuse. He remarks that the void inside of him (which could be referring to either the one mentioned as being filled by the Stonehearts or just Aven’s general lack of a will to live) cannot be filled by talent and knowledge. Ratio hopes he doesn’t turn into a philosophical zombie. Which I like that up, and it’s basically someone who behaves like a person but does not have a conscious experience. What I think Ratio is suggesting is that what Aventurine is missing isn’t talent or knowledge, but genuine connections with other people, goals, desires, a purpose, things that aren’t so material 

-TB teases Ratio, saying they thought he would make them get their act together, Ratio says that saying such a thing means we haven’t grasped the essence of learning, OH MY GOD HE SAYS EXACLTY HOW I BELIEVE HIM TO VIEW KNOWLEDGE SOMEONE SEDATE ME

“Acquiring knowledge aims to enhance living” I KNOW THIS IS A SIMPLE LINE BUT ITS LIKE AT THE CORE OF RATIOS PHILOSOPHY, HE WANTS TO SPREAD KNOWLEDGE TO HELP OTHERS GROW AND PICK THEMSELVES UP 

oh my god, that’s why Aventurine isnt his typical student, to improve Aventurine’s life, he DOESNT need knowledge or talent, so Ratio has to try other methods…

Forgive me for the person I’m about to become I fear 

-we say good by to him 😭😭😭😭

-“I detest noisy gatherings, as they intrude upon my thoughts.. What a waste of time” AUTISM!! BRO IS OVERSTIMULATED LEAAVE GO ELSEWHERE WHY ARE YOU HERE UR CLEARLY HAVING A BAD TIMEEEE

Alright bye Ratio onto the next one

-TOPAZ AND NUMBY??!?

-Topaz eco ship mention??

-ooh we ask her about her Cornerstone and if she can transform herself like Aven

-her ability isn’t as “visual”? So it’s not a transformation 

-LORE DROP; abilities of Ten Stonehearts are all different, some can even read thoughts and grasp desires (Jade), she warns us to be careful 

-Topaz is greatful for the timing in Belabog bc it let her and Bronya be friends 

-Jade convo next!

-I picked Sundays name and she went “not a bad name, just lacking in virtue,”

-she does her deal shtick, I’m gonna ask to revive Akivili 

-poor girl is dumbfounded, but she accepts 😭

-she asks for the tail of an animal and I think she asks for the tail of the cat in the stellaron hunters 😭

-sorry Akivili you aren’t returning 

-ARGENTI

-his lines aren’t voiced unfortunately 

-he’s talking about the beauty as always, saying we are already walking that path due to our virtue 

-apparently if an admirer of Beauty gets lost in the pursuit of power, they risk descending into “the Omen of Evil” a form that’s neither human nor beast 

-he compares this to Sunday; whose actions argenti believes were no different from the Omen of Evil, and that he lost his way along the path of righteousness 

-he wasn’t there at the final battle because Ena’s dream was too realistic and he couldn’t bid farewell to a fallen friend who had turned into a beast, so Argenti stayed within the dream for a while 

-he blames himself for not passing the trial of Beauty this time, and for hesitating, wishing to become more determined that ever 

-him and Sunday competing for who has more religous trauma LMAOO

Alright I’m done talking let’s wait for the opening now

-Firefly is here!

-we go over how wack the plot has been 

-she asks if we will be leaving again 

-I picked the idk option and Firefly says not to worry bc we are on the path of the Trailblaze

-Elio told Firefly that her journey will tell her how to live on and the rest is up for her to find out, and she will hunt for leads everywhere, including Penacony 

-TB says that no wonder she was investigating the Watchmaker, but even if she didn’t get what she wanted, Firefly says she get a deal from Jade

-we warn her not to make deals w the IPC bc they are shady

-Firefly is like no dw I didn’t do anything stupid or get anyone involved 

-she apologies for lying to us earlier about being from the Iris Family

-I accept it bc I’m not a cunt but I’m glad they allow you to turn her down 

-OOH FIREFLY’S STRUGGLE AT EXPRESSING HER EMOTIONS YESS HOYOVERSE THIS IS WHAT I WANTED GRRRRR

-uh oh bloodhound family is here 

-Firefly is sad and like “I guess we have to say our goodbyes”

-but she’s hopeful bc her “script” hasn’t ended yet- so they will meet again 

-TB is worried but figures she will be fine, we decide to check on her later after we attend the festival 

-we get a message from Firefly, saying she handled everything but she’s sad she won’t get to see Robin perform 

-Ceremony begins and Robin shows up

-March is fangirling

-Robin is eating as always 

-she’s like “yeah this has been crazy but hey we’re doing it now!”

-thanks Oti Alfalfa for his dedication 

-she’s like thank god it’s over

-oh she brings up the Watchmaker

-she gives a tribute to Misha/ Mikhal Char Legwork for laying the foundations of Penacony

-thanks him for allowing the Dreamscape to exist, that Penacony’s success is rooted in the Trailblaze that the Watchmaker brought with him and only by honoring that spirit can harmony be spread 

-everything is back on track, and Penacony’s family give the Nameless a token of appreciation 

-They give the ship to the Astral Express?!!? That’s a fun one, I think Robin pulled some strings for that one to screw over Oti for throwing Sunday under the bus

-she toasts the Harmony, the Trailblaze, the future of Penacony and the universe, and the generous Alfalfa Family Head, Mr. Oti Alfalfa

CUTSCENE TIME

-Oti is amused by Robins cunning

-he’s SPARKLE TIME

-she put a bomb in the ship and we got 10 minutes to find it oh boy 

Cutscene over 

-she gave us a map at least 

-HASTIEST GROUP CHAT IN EXISTENCE TO FIX THIS

-LMAOO

-this is great it’s bomb hunting time

-because the hounds are stupid and gathered everything spending 48 system hours to press all her buttons 

-it’s hidden among 999 dolls and the challenge is to find where the real one is hidden 

-Robin asks everyone not to panic and that they will prepare for evacuating 

-however the Oak Family has relied on the power of the Order for the guarantee that you can’t die in dreams, but since the Order’s blessings are lost, this bomb might actually kill people 

-everyone agrees to help

-Aventurine isn’t taking it seriously likely because he isn’t actually there, he’s like “Wanna bet who will survive this?” and Ratio’s like “k” bc he’s done w Aven’s shit and higher priorities 

-Black Swan finds 131 fake bombs, area gets evacuated 

-Boothill finds 217 of them with the help of the hounds and Ratio wearing his alabaster head, nobodies found it yet but nobody seems too concerned 

-Argenti finds 145 bombs but again, duds

-IPC found 329, but again, nothing 

-last one is in the cockpit 

-Sparkle rickrolls us

-it’s a bomb 

-they found the remaining dolls but nothing

-Sparkle gives the coordinates of the last, true bomb, and everyone agrees to gather there 

-TB finds Firefly standing by Sparkle’s bomb 

-Sweet Dream no longer has the Order’s protection and if it were to blow up there could be bad consequences 

-she says the design is unique and as if it’s been locked by some mysterious Path force

-nobody knows how to deactivate it 

-Firefly doesn’t think anybody there can fix it

-she says Black Swan might be able to teleport it, but Firefly found a note inside the doll

-a note that’s complete nonsense and says it contains a virus very dangerous to Memetic entities like BS plus a bunch of Bananas for some reason? It’s all very unserious 

-Firefly reminds us that she has three “deaths” in the Land of Dreams

-so this is the third time 

-we’re like nah ur not dying 

-Firefly says she’s not in the dream like normal people, she has a Stellaron Hunters special method (Silver Wolf) that let her to be in here , and it lets Firefly perform feats others can’t 

-as long as she can bear the pain of the memoria pressure, she will be able to dive into the primal Memory Zone and extend a lifeline to the Radiant Feldspar

-she’s gonna try and take it into the depths of the Dreamscape (Primordial Memory Zone) so nobody will get hurt 

-Firefly tells us not to worry and that SAM will allow her to get back safely if she lucky 

-determined to give this story a happy ending 

-Firefly reminds us of Acheron’s words, “The so-called impossible is merely something that has yet to happen..”

-the moment that could disprove the “impossibilities” hasn’t arrived yet

-Firefly has so many choices to make before her “death” in whatever form it takes, and she believes that when the moment arrives for us to make a choice, the answer to our end will already be in our hearts 

-“it is not destiny that shapes us, but we who shape destiny,”

CUTSCENE

Compare astral express and stellaron hunters like light and shadow and tied together 

-OH BOY SO MUCH HAPPENS

-Sparkle detonates the bomb early but it’s actually fireworks 

-she then bops us off the edge of the ship but Firefly catches and saves us

-it’s really cute tbh

-she reaffirms what we said, both that destiny is ours to choose and that the reason why life slumbers is because one day we will wake up

-there’s a little procession of scenes of everyone so far

-highlights being Ratio leaving and Boothill pulling out a gun due to Argentis yapping

-and Aven reminiscing in the place where he found himself again

-we also get a little peak at what Acheron is doing

-she put three flowers on the graves of the Nameless, officially saying by to them 

Cutscene over 

Scene 8; Acheron (although still from TB perspective)

-child wanted to put flowers down for the Nameless? I don’t really understand her first line in this 

-oh the child is Mikhail and the flowers are for the other two Nameless, and when he’s  gone someone placed one for him

-she says “your wishes will always be remembered by someone,” likely talking not just to Mikhail, but the audience

-Now Penacony has finally welcomed the dawn after the long dark night, even if the path ahead won’t be easy 

-“Tiernan, you can now go home”

-the Nameless are also preparing for our next stop

-we say goodbye to the old Nameless, Gallagher and Acheron 

-“in the Land of the Dreams, anything is indeed possible,” - March

-“History may not remember the names of the dead, but the stars will attest to their journeys, the first glimmer of light in the prolonged night often illuminates little, as it is fleeting and the darkness too vast. But because of this, people will remember: As long as something shines in the night sky, then when the first star falls.. countless more will follow, streaking across the horizon.” - Dan Heng, I loved his speech so I had to write it 

-they give a toast to the fallen Nameless

-“A toast to history that no longer remains silent, the passionate and courage’s pursuit, and a voyage that traverses the stars,”- Dan Heng ur COOKING

-we can talk to Acheron, and she calls it a fitting end to our story

-we say bye to Gallagher, who we don’t even know if he was a “living person”, callback to the 13 thing, an “enigmatic” character for sure

-at least our journey and his love for Penacony was real

-we toast him too, and using the drink that Siobhan made for him 

-“to all lies, and the singular truth,”- March 

-she also asks him to not speak in riddles if they ever meet again 

-we say bye to Micah, Welt apologizes for only now speaking to him, Welt asks what the people of Dreamflux Reef do now, many will continue to live there, and “those accustomed to being away will mostly have a hard time getting used to a life of darkness with their eyes closed,” Micah will also watch over the primal Memory Zone as the Order has faded 

-“Penacony’s nights are long, and there are many who are still far from a good nights sleep,”

-they still manage without the Sweet Dream

-toast to the ppl in Dreamflux Reef and their tenacity 

-we finally say goodbye to Mikhail, it started from the moment we met him and it ends by saying goodbye to him

-“just like a clock’s hands that turn round and round, the start and end of each day will always land on twelve o’clock- the advent of time moving forward,” - Himeko, it really is over isn’t it, honestly I wonder now is just what that dream pool and projector were for 

-the entire adventure started bc of Mikhail and it’s ending because of him

-“And then, a new page will be turned.”

-“To Penacony’s past, present, future… and the child’s unwavering dream unto death,”- Himeko

—“the Trailblaze can illuminate the way, but ultimately, the future of a world belongs to those who live in it,” - Dan Heng, just like Belabog and the Luofu huh 

-March has a strange feeling that she had a few stops ago that’s really strong this time, she talks about how many stories these three Nameless have experienced, and she compares them to the current Nameless and their own adventures, and that they lived the “every day” we do now

-but it’s all in the past, and TB says to her that we should live in the present, but that’s what March can’t get out of her mind

-she’s upset at that the Nameless then didn’t get their happy ending, but the TB now shouldn’t live through them, however since us (especially March) has witnessed their lives, their are special to us now, so she hopes their story gets a good ending when it comes 

-but what if those Nameless and us now aren’t special, and we won’t get a good ending?

-if Mikhail might not have had no regrets, how can we know we won’t? 

-“Then, what is this regret we feel in our hearts right now…?”

-Himeko assured that all of them are searching for the answer to this question, that against the backdrop of a cosmos, our lives are fleeting 

-however, even if the universe doesn’t remember the never ending Trailblaze, but people, and those who travel along the silver rail themselves will

-“As long as we remember, their stories (The Trailblaze) will never end,” OH MY GOD THIS MIRRORS WHAT BS SAID IN THE ONE TRAILER WHERE WE WILL CARRY OUR WISHES TO COUNTLESS STARS AAAA

-Mikhail answered this question himself, dying with a smile on his face even after his complicated life

-its meaning will be interpreted by those who come after us 

-it’s not the answer that’s important, but what we can learn from others answers 

-“This is what Trailblazing is”

-March tells DH to tell a dad joke to lighten the mood

-he won’t 

-it’s never a bad thing to reflect 

-we got a long way ahead of us WHOOO

-so it’s time to tell PomPom what we saw

-then prepare for the next stop

-time to say final goodbye to Acheron

-she asks if we remember our first meeting

-we reminded her of an acquaintance 

-because of the Self-Annihilators curse, what she thought was a familiar meeting was merely an illusion, attributing her feelings of that old friend to us the TB

-however you can ask if it wasn’t an illusion 

-Acheron says it’s improbable we ever met before, and there’s nothing left to retrace but Nihility 

-I can keep pushing 

-she doubles down, said this me and your memory of her aren’t the same person

Red Text oh my god

-“But some things will never change,”

-she just laughs in response 

-oh my god she’s talking about her past companions oh no her Kiana her Bronya noooooo NOOOOOOOOOO

-they didn’t achieve the outcome they wanted, but our sheer stupidity makes it feel like they never even left

-she talks about how things can seem so similar yet so different 

-Acheron has wandered alone, encountering “acquaintances” who’s silhouettes overlap with her past

-she asks us what we think her “Deja vu” means

-im going with “the wish to return to the past”

-she says all of our possible answers are incomplete

-it’s something that’s not external, but something that’s within us, an emotion spanning across time from a certain moment in our past to reach us

-every time we reminisce, we notice both the tiny but unforgettable things we leave behind, and the other things that remain constant throughout 

-that’s the summary of our lives, the proof of our shared path 

-within those small moments, those tiny regrets, we glimpse our own essence, and truly “exist”

-Acheron says to “set forth on your voyage without hesitation, Nameless, on the path of the Trailblaze”

-even if our ending has been predetermined (OOH CALLBACK TO 2.1 and 2.2 AAA) there are countless things humans cannot change 

-but before that, there are still many things we can do

SHES WORD FOR WORD REPEATING THINGS 

-“And because of this, the “end” will thus reveal a completely different meaning”

-“this is the meaning of ‘journey’” 

I AM INSANE ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY AAAAAAAAA

THE CALLBAKCS THE REFERNEFES I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT FUCK ALL OF YOU I LOVR YOU ACHERONNNN

-“all those things, beautiful before, are still do now. And I believe… It will still bloom at the end of the Nihility, until we meet again beneath the sun’s rays,” OH MY GOD SHE HAS HER HORNS AND OLD OUTFIT SHES SO BEAUTIFUL 

AND WE ARE GONNA MEET AGAIN AT THE END OF THE STORY AAAAAAAA

Back at the Express

-Pom Pom is crying 

-Dan and March bickering 

-Pom-Pom started crying over the adventure, March has never seen them so sad before 

-now they are angry

-we caused so much chaos and threw the time-table off and if we keep acting like this the Express is gonna run out of fuel 

-well not really they are just masking their sadness

-we take a break in the next car while Himeko comforts Pom Pom

-we chat a bit, those three Nameless must have meant a lot to them 

-we don’t know shit about Pom Pom’s past lmao, but their emotions haven’t become dulled by the grind of time, and they still value every journey 

-we might actually run out of fuel bc due to our existence Pom Pom has had to delay the warp jump schedule 

-the express converts every “Trailblaze” into the energy it needs to run, like a perpetual motion machine

-we are using up fuel much faster than expected, and can only pull off two more warp jumps at most

-which means we must consider our next destination carefully 

-the two worlds nearest to us are the oceanic planet of Lushaka and the Agate World Melustanin

-we still need to vote 

-BLACK SWAN SHOWS UP

-Welts like ‘alright give us the juice’

-she overheard how the express obtains fuel 

-her suggestion could be the lifeline that saves everyone

-OH ITS THE DH = DF LINES YESS

-“those mired memories of yours”

-if the express needs a special trailblazing expedition to recharge its engine, then they should go to a world that even Akivili never even reached, and the express will never have to worry about energy again

-March is like “is that possible?!!”

-a world many don’t even know exists, hidden away by outside observation, only revealed by the light from the monitor of the Garden of Recollection

-fettered by three Paths, its destiny hanging in the balance 

-“The Eternal Land, Amphoreus”

NO THIS IS CRAZY THIS IS CRAZY BECAUSE THAT IS RATIOS HOMELAND SO HOW DID HE GET OUT FROM THERE, A PLACE NOT EVEN AKAVILI HAS BEEN ?!:!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA

JADE SCENE?!!

YOOOOO

-she calls Sunday a child

-it seems like he tried to escape and got caught

-he thinks he’s gonna die

-his fate is entirely in Jade’s hands

-he wants the pretenses to be over and to just have time to talk 

-she’s glad he’s still a cunt 

-she came to fulfill Robin’s wishes, to offer a trade if he’s willing to accept 

-she talks about his oath between him and Robin of building a haven where everyone can attain peace 

-she asks if he would be willing to speak to her if there was a chance to fulfill that vow 

-Jade sets him free, tells him to see the world for himself

-Sunday doesn’t want to accept it though 

-however the trade is still up, and Jade is willing the wait for his answer 

-she gives him a word of warning 

-“Life is too short to miss out on golden opportunities”

And it’s over

Wow that was great 

OK! I will definitely not be doing this again because oh my god this made the quest take like 10 hours (most of the time was just typing it tbh 😭) made it far less fun than it could have been, however it also really helped me understand what was going on a lot; and I’ll look back on this if I want to remember the plot in 2.3

Overall I think it’s a really satisfying conclusion for Penacony, and any of the things I thought were weird kinda dissipated because they are minor nitpicks at best, and we did say Penacony would have to figure itself out from here

if you somehow decided to read all of these, I admire your patience lmao, and I hope you enjoyed all of the parts in which I started absolutely losing it

I recommend you don’t do this lmao, it’s more fun to just play through and look at the wiki later imo, maybe take more overarching ones after you have already completed a scene? This was certainly a learning experience at least

[janesurlife]

ok so he finally addressed it. I'm sorry but I'm still pissed cause Tommy is smart enough to understand it so him being silent about it on the LV GP review podcast with matt was not okay. Could be that he just went with whatever script they prepared beforehand to get most engagement (cause they thought they'll get more views from Leclerc fans) but now that he saw the reaction to the podcast (which was basically everyone calling them out rightfully so) he's trying to damage control cause like I said Tommy is much more smart than Matt.

This comment is absolutely bang on money

Charles always talks about "pre race agreements which first of all are diabolic of Ferrari cause why do you have an agreement to prioritise a driver who qualifies below but whatever that's Ferrari for you. Always treating their second driver like trash

But I haven't heard Fred talk about these pre race agreements anywhere so one of them is definitely lying and I'm more inclined to believe it's Leclerc

[sobx9]

I am still thinking about the interviews the show runners did for obx4. Something about all these articles is just not sitting right with me and I have a hard time believing what’s being said in them. Here’s a few points that are confusing me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this:

First let me start by pointing out the timing: they released the articles on the day of the part 2 release (7th of November). There’s a HUGE spoiler in the titles! Why would they do that when most of the people haven’t even watched the finale? It’s like they wanted to get ahead of the backlash, they knew was coming.

I always thought they said previously that the original plan was six seasons? Two trilogies? Am I wrong?

I don’t understand them saying the death scene was Rudy’s last day on set and that’s why it was so emotional. From the BTS it’s evident it was shot in Morocco, but we also know they then went back to Charleston and shot for another two months. And Rudy was on set with them! Do they mean it was a last day of shooting in 🇲🇦 ? Or are they lying? It’s confusing.

Let’s believe Rudy didn’t ask to leave. Are you telling me they let him found out from the script? This answer is so vague and strange to me. Not only is that a very mean thing to do but from what I googled, it’s not the way these things are usually done. From a practical standpoint, letting an actor know he’s going to be out of a job is usually discussed beforehand so his management can start focusing on other opportunities.

[dykekingofhell]

Season 2x08 Thoughts (pt 1?): Armand

My biggest gripe with the finale (which also had a lot I loved) is the "twist" that it was Lestat who saved Louis at the trial rather than Armand and that Armand intended for Louis to die. I'll preface this by saying that I was not going into this episode deluded into thinking Armand isn't a monstrous creature. Hell, going into season 2 I was really hoping to see the frankenclaudia experiment as described in The Vampire Armand on screen. I also was looking forward to Louis and Armand's divorce; their simple separation after years of them both retreating inwards becoming shells of people, barely speaking to each other but being too cowardly to leave for 70 years is one of the fascinating parts of the book to me.

Yes, Armand always directed the play (in the book's case scripted Lestat in the trial), but his motivations have been greatly altered in the show in a way that feels less compelling and to a degree flattening, of course, though this is impacted by personal taste. In the book(s) Armand's actions during the trial (and beforehand psychically manipulating Louis to turn Madeleine) are done out of a warped perception of love in part based in ownership and isolation. Armand views Claudia as he does most others that he does not love, as an insignificant pawn, in this case, an obstacle for Louis' "growth" and and obstacle in the way of their relationship. He genuinely believes that by enacting the cruelty of Claudia and Madeleine's deaths he can isolate Louis into loving him entirely. He states plainly before the trial (when it's already been set in motion):

"She's an era for you, an era of your life. If and when you break with her, you break with the only one alive who has shared that time with you. You fear that, the isolation of it, the burden, the scope of eternal life." (pg 221)

and after the trial:

"I used to believe you would get over it, that when the pain of all of it left you, you would grow warm again and filled with love, and filled with that wild and insatiable curiosity with which you first came to me, that inveterate conscience, and that hunger for knowledge that brought you all the way to Paris to my cell. I thought it was a part of you that couldn't die. And I thought that when the pain was gone you would forgive me for what part I played in her death. She never loved you know. Not in the way that I loved you, and the way that you loved us both. I knew this! I understood it! And I believed I would gather you to me and hold you. And time would open to us, and we would be the teachers of one another. All the things that gave you happiness would give me happiness; and I would be the protector of your pain. My power would be your power." (pg 260)

Armand is desperate for Louis (bringer of change, embodying the 19th century) to continue to love him past their early infatuation to be Armand's new window into the world and a replacement for Marius (embodiment of the Renaissance) and Lestat (the 18th century which has already rejected him). His longing for that all-consuming companionship characterized by isolation, manipulation, and ownership becomes most implicitly clear I think when Armand speaks nostalgically about Venice, "I wish I had the artist's power to bring alive for you the Venice of the fifteenth century, my master's palace there, the love I felt for him when I was a mortal boy, and the love he felt for me when he made me a vampire. Oh, if I could make those times come alive for either you or me . . .for only an instant!" (pg 222) (in a way the trial and subsequent isolation IS him trying to make those times come alive)

Ultimately Armand's greatest transgression, the murder of Claudia, is born out of selfish and twisted love for a man (who he has incorrectly perceived as full of endless curiosity and wonder) who he has placed the weight of his world onto. Before the trial even begins he says, "No, I've had to wait and watch for you. And now I'll fight for you. Do you see how ruthless I am in love?" (pg 223)

However, in the show, his transgression is the attempted destruction of LOUIS along with Claudia, and Madeleine. Rather than being born out of selfish love and desire, it is instead born out of Armand's passivity to the status quo (which he clearly wavers on and struggles with as seen by the the Lourve scene, his look of regret outside the restaurant following the judas kiss, and his eventual taking Louis from the coffin). But to me, this aspect of Armand is just as well commented on and explored in an ending closer to the novel in that an orchestration of the end of the coven or a seeking for connection with the age can not be done through himself but only through another acting as a savior. Another compounding possible motivation for Armand's actions is the belief that Louis does not love him and never will love him in the way he needs, and this is him cutting his losses by preserving the coven. This would fit well with the look of guilt and regret outside the restaurant as it immediately follows confirmation from Madeleine that Louis does in fact love him but is withholding. His look could be read as a realization of miscalculation. However, frankly, I don't think that this angle is really explored or built up strongly within the season. And I think that's at least in part because I don't think that their dynamic and its strengths and flaws in the Paris era had enough room to breathe this season. In the last few episodes, their relationship in that era felt to some degree sloppily ill-defined. Ultimately I think that not enough was gained in the twist when it caused Armand's ruthless love to be lost.

Also, I HEAVILY dislike that the reveal comes by way of the Talamasca rather than organic probing from Daniel and Louis leading to a confession from Armand. (I honestly haven't loved most of the Talamasca use this season in general and think the organization is better suited to show up in more general investigative work like with Jesse Reeves in the books rather than in the context of interfering with the interview which felt much more intimate and contained without it). I find Armand's admission of his role in the trial to Louis in the book born out of an attempt to bait Louis into feeling SOMETHING even if it was rage at him after decades of them both living in monotonous misery infinitely more interesting than Daniel being given a file with the answers. I don't think that the reveal needed to play out exactly like in the novel, but if they were going to change it, I wish it had been to another equally strong character moment instead of Talamasca bullshit. Part of me wishes that this season had had another episode because the finale just had so much it needed to include and balance that this cop-out almost feels as if it was born out of necessity to keep everything within runtime.

Anyways, I adored the burning the coven segment, I'm happy Daniel's a vampire, and I really liked the Loustat reunion scene even if I don't love how we got there. I didn't originally intend to post any thoughts on the episode until after my second watch later tn with some friends but it was plaguing my mind so this is the initial ramble. Might have more to say late tn or tomorrow.

[ianthoni]

So today @juztscrollingthrough send me this video from 2009. 2009, the year Anthony said their friendship basically ended.

First part of the video where they ask "if their friendship ever been torn apart by a woman yet?" And Anthony immediately answer with "yeah his girlfriend right now" he laughs but it's obvious he thinks of it beforehand hence why he was so quick to answer to that. But Ian laughs at him. He either thinks Anthony is joking or he's not comfortable with Anthony talking about his girlfriend. And then when they ask if they have girlfriends Ian's face immediately falls as him and Anthony says yes. (Put a more closer look at the end) Now that's definitely not a "shy" look as the woman said in my eyes. It's clear that Ian is sad about it. But why? Is he sad that he had a girlfriend? Is he sad that they're talking about her in the show? Is he sad that Anthony has a girlfriend? That they can't spend enough time together now? And why didn't Anthony liked Ian's gf? As far as I know m****** and Ian is still in good terms. What was happening in Anthony's mind that made him uncomfortable? I don't wanna believe that™ woman but her story about this part looks like it's true. Anthony doesn't like Ian's gf and Ian doesn't like Anthony's. I get Ian not liking k**** but why Anthony doesn't like m******? Yeah i know that's none of ours business but it's too much of a subject now I can't stop but wonder about it. Cause we all now even if Ian threatened bad in the relationship he wouldn't tell anything. He himself said he wouldn't even understand if he put in emotional turmoil. Did something happen to make Anthony not happy? Also again why the fuck Ian is sad about them having girlfriends? He immediately puts it to Anthony by making a joke about the shy part with "oh Anthony is blushing now" but he wasn't shy it is so obvious Ian was sad. Ok on to the next part.

This part is more sadder. SAD AS FUCK. Cause here we see Anthony very openly and a little jokey but in all seriousness saying Ian that he doesn't enjoy doing editing the full time. He says "he lost the gladiator fight (this is a reference as they did fight about parts and Ian got the writing the script and him "stuck" with editing)" When the reporter confront Ian with "he wanted to do it too you're too controlling Ian" Ian looks so confused. Cause this is the first time he's hearing this and he's shocked and doesn't realize if that's a bit or serious he's looking between Anthony and the reporter awkwardly laughing. And Anthony hits him with "this is spousal abuse" Ian is confused licking his lips can't answer the reporter can't answer to Anthony he doesn't know what to say. Again we know Ian is not very open about his feelings and can't show them. That's a fact already. But in this moment we can see him can't hide his feelings and like showing his confusion. I think Ian's poker face improved after defy where he tried to act like everything is ok around the Smosh cast. In here it's still 2009, he's a young boy. And then Anthony says "I never told you but I'm very hurt by this." Referring the editing and the script writing. We know it's not a joke cause he repeats himself for Ian to hear it. Ian still can't answer but there's a little "awww" coming. He probably wants this to stop. Doesn't wanna talk about it anymore. His face is obvious but his mouth still can't make up words about how he's feeling. We see him relax a little when others laugh so he thinks it's not that serious it's not something big of a deal that makes Anthony leave. He's relaxed now and jokes about it. The others remind them that COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. TALK TO EACH OTHER. Anthony then makes another comment "you never talk with me." He's serious about this too. We can see it because when Ian came to his senses and made that a joke too and give a funny accent apologize we can see Anthony is annoyed. This is him trying and Ian once again pushing his feelings aside and turning it into jokes. Which I think Anthony sees that jokes as "Ian didn't care about me, it was always a joke to him, he didn't care about me enough" when it's just Ian trying to make it a joke so he doesn't have to be open and sincere and talk about his feelings. (This boy needs therapy((STILL)) now that he "apologized" he immediately drops his face and sulk cause he's aware it's bad too, he knows it's cringe and he knows it annoys Anthony.

Meanwhile others are STILL trying to advise them to talk to each other. They ignore that as they talk between each other "we should go to Dr Phil" "or Tyra(not sure he literally talks inside his mouth)" others tells them to find each others love languages Anthony shakes his head as a no? Ian laughs? And again they end it with SPEAK TO EACH OTHER. Which we later saw that they actually didn't do that.

Someone in the server said something like "i can't believe how they managed to stretch that till 2017" tbh i really don't know too. Cause this conversation happened literally 14 years later too. Anthony still remembers it all. My only guess is the love and connection they had for each other. Ian didn't wanna talk about it, he didn't wanna do it because he didn't want Anthony to leave, I bet he had his own problems too but he put everything aside and put on a happy mask, acting like nothing bad is happening when everything bad is happening. He tried to act like everything is fine so Anthony won't leave. And Anthony didn't say anything or maybe tried a little but got ignored by Ian. So he didn't talk about it anymore because he didn't want to annoy Ian, and then later he thought Ian didn't care anymore, he was a bad person. I don't wanna assume their friendship it's not my place. But it's so obvious that communication was the key. And from the 2009 people were telling them to talk to each other. That they didn't listen. Ofc now that they came together they talk more about their feelings and they're more open to each other. At the time they were still young and still insecure probably. But every time i saw them coming together after 6 years. It made me think that they're actually soulmates. The universe wanted them together that's why Ian transferred to that school, that's why they met in 6th grade, that's why they became best friends. The universe tears them apart because they couldn't realize the magic of their relationship. But even after 6 years they're coming together and there's STILL a sparkle that's destiny. Their path might be separated in the road but they're back together and now they're closer than ever. I'm so glad.

"If it’s real love, then let it breathe. Let them be free as a person, and if they come back to you, then that’s how you know it’s always been real. This is what you call “freedom love” in order to let them go and be free—it’s coming from love and never hate or pity. Lead with love in these conversations, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll come back to you. This is not a goodbye forever, just a see you next time."

[cool-cowboy]

Summary:

In which an android Leon reveals some features to his model you were not aware of beforehand, then gives you a prime example of how he's better than a human man. I have no idea where this came from, just popped into my head and I figured someone out there would enjoy, so yeah, enjoy!

Tags:

Android Leon S. Kennedy, Obsession, Dominant Leon S. Kennedy, Master/Servant, alternate universe, Dirty talk, grinding, overstimulation, forced orgasm, babbling, crying

Blurb:

“I just… Didn’t know you had… Those kind of features.”

“Sorry. You’ve never expressed feelings of lust before, only now your heart rate is picking up, perspiration levels above average... Would you like me to enable sexual interaction in the options menu?”

Text:

“Leon, I’m home!” I tuck my shoes into their little spot beside the door, shucking off my jacket and leaving it on its hook, wandering through and into the family room, spotting him, standing perfectly still along the wall, blue neon swirling around his eyes, the only tell I get when an update is underway, other than his lack of response. I decide to leave him be, walking off into the kitchen, getting my things ready to cook supper, the lighting brighter than I like it in the evening, my trusty android friend not awake to employ my usual light and ambience settings, the quiet a little disturbing when I’m so used to the light music he puts on when I arrive home.

I cook in relative silence, making a meal for one, missing the chatter of my robot companion, curious to hear about his update, why it’s taking so long. It’s not traditional, the purpose I have for owning a device like him, usually they’re nothing but a housekeeper, someone to take care of the home and complete menial tasks, but I don’t find that useful, just enjoy having someone around, a friend, something like that. I’ve never assigned him a task, but he craves it, gives himself objectives if I can’t, tries his hardest to cater to my needs even if I don’t speak them.

I sit down with my meal, eating in quiet, seated at my little island, his chair empty, the space a little cooler than I like it. I’m bored, never used to quiet anymore, not with my constant companion making sure to keep conversation flowing, his devotion to me seeming more real than it probably is, his care programmed into him, but there nonetheless. He’s been speaking about feelings lately, if he’s capable, something that would usually get him sent in for a reset, but I don’t mind, and I do think he’s capable, his mind is superhuman after all.

“There you are.” He’s human, on the outside, looks perfectly believable, could walk around with me and have no one suspect he isn’t a normal man, the only difference what’s on the inside, some mechanical shit I have no idea how to explain, and AI that lets him know what I’m thinking, his intelligence unmatched, his mind full of anything I could ever want to know.

“How was the update?” He takes his seat beside me, straight-backed, his formality with his mannerisms something that took me a while to get used to, his speech slowly morphing to mimic mine, a comfort thing programmed into all androids to give a sense of familiarity, comfort with something often viewed as subhuman. His eyes glow blue, ready to rattle off the specs he’s downloaded, his voice a little more robotic than usual, his script taking him over.

“Update 16.2b, major tweaks under the belt, more realistic orgasm simulation, bugs fixed regarding the timed orgasm system, facial expressions refined, new commands available, more realistic erection phases, see more online at Update dot my android dot net.” I sit there, mouth gaping, not sure at all what to say to all that, never even thought about using my friend in that way, was never told I could, if I did want to. “Is something wrong?” I set my fork down, pushing my plate back, my appetite gone, some unwarranted butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

“I just… Didn’t know you had… Those kind of features.” He looks at me, eyes flashing blue, scanning my vitals, something that used to seriously creep me out, but doesn’t bother me much anymore, it’s habitual, a way for him to see how I’m feeling, get truths I’m not willing to give.

“Sorry. You’ve never expressed feelings of lust before, only now your heart rate is picking up, perspiration levels above average.” I don’t say anything, embarrassed he can tell so much about me, know my curious wants against my wishes. “Would you like me to enable sexual interaction in the options menu?” I can’t answer, too busy freaking out in my head, his blue eyes back to normal, still seeking information, always, gaze flitting over my face, small movements of my hands, his inspection leaving me on edge.

“So… You can feel pleasure?” I’m curious, though I’ve never wanted to use him, in any capacity, just wanted someone around, company, not a lover, especially not one who’s not in control of their own actions, autonomy not something he has much of, other than the settings I could turn off to let him have a little free reign, giving him permission to mill about while I’m gone, do as he pleases. He’s staring at me, head cocked, brows furrowed a little, his expression terribly human, inspecting me, trying his hardest to deduce my thoughts, his pointer finger drawing out calculations absently on the countertop as they run through his head.

“Not technically, pleasure is a chemical reaction, my form is just a simulation. I do feel it, the receptors go off when I complete a task. It’s new in update 14.6a, meant to be a better drive to please the owner. I assume you mean sexual pleasure, though. I can simulate it, up until orgasm, mostly realistic, other than the secretion part.” I have no idea why I’m just now hearing about this, most people would probably jump on the opportunity to have a partner so in tune with their body, literally able to do a scan and know what you need.

“Do you enjoy it, though? You want to?” He looks at me, my eyes, not doing any scanning, just looking at me, giving me a few seconds of quiet anticipation.

“You’re important to me, whether it’s programming or not, you’re attractive and a pleasant person, so I'd guess it would be enjoyable to please you in a more personal way, but I know you mean it differently… It’s not a craving I have, to satisfy myself, I mean, only to please you, in any way you see fit.” I swallow, his eyes flitting down, gazing at my hands, fisted and pressed to my thighs. It’s a moral dilemma, using something so intelligent for my own gain, but I suppose it can’t be too terrible, he’d get the equivalent of an orgasm, plus whatever pleased feeling he gets from making me happy. “You seem interested. I will turn on sexual activity permissions in the options menu.” Damn his autonomy, I may have went too far, allowing him access to his own options, his eyes glowing blue as he sinks into his own brain, flipping on whatever part of him has been dormant all this time before returning to me, his expression normal, no different than my usual Leon, casual, doting.

“You did it?” He nods, scanning me, not at all put off by my nervousness, looking at me again, a little more intense than usual, trying to figure me out.

“How was work?” I wonder if I have to initiate it, ask him for it. It would be preferable, though I don’t think I’ll ever use this hidden feature if he doesn’t just jump me, but that doesn’t seem fitting, he’s too soft spoken, reserved.

“Good, I got a new account today, diamonds, the commission is gonna be insane.” He seems pleased, a little whirring sound similar to a hum rumbling in his chest as he stands, moving to take care of my dish, no prompt necessary. I used to feel bad about it, but he really doesn’t mind, lives to care, I guess.

“That’s great. I sent over the files you asked for, they’re under 6.24.5 in the main folder.” I nod, glad he could locate them, my own search not going very well, the information integral to a company I’ve been assigned. He sets the dishes out once he’s done washing, set neatly in their little drying rack, his body moving swiftly back around the counter, his hand ghosting across the back of my shoulders making me flinch, not used to any casual touches between us, the only contact he really ever initiates is caring for any wounds he detects, little cuts, things like that. “You’re aroused, would you like me to-”

“You don’t have to.” My cheeks are flaming, thighs tight together, embarrassment hot on my skin, the light aroused feeling flaring now that he’s brought attention to it. He steps beside me, turning my chair around to face him, slotting himself between my knees, a light touch on my jaw drawing my eyes up, light blue trained on me, his forwardness dizzying, unexpected when I’m so used to his usual self.

“You’re uncomfortable, I can release that tension.” He runs his hand down my neck, smoothing over my shoulder, his touch light, my small shiver prompting him to squeeze a little, the warmth of his skin unexpected, even if I did know it was there, another human feature to make him more real. “You don’t need to worry about if I’d like to. I do, you know I live to please you.” That gets me, his voice lower than usual, a rough, sensual quality to it, his willingness not unexpected, but still shocking. He has a hand on my knee, inching up, almost too slow to notice, his other sliding back up my neck to keep my eyes on him, eye contact something he's always been a fan of, picked it up from conversations and my own mannerisms, is now using it to ruin me, make me nervous.

“I don’t know…” It’s weird, to proposition him in this way, even if it isn’t my idea, allowing it is still on me, my commands headed without any pushback, unless my decision is stupid, then he tells me all the reasons I’m wrong. He hums, sliding his hand back into my hair, his palm a little rough, his eyes peering down at me, a little lower than normal, all of him drawing me in, his actions and words and expression undeniably sexy, which makes sense, considering he has the entire internet and more at his disposal.

“I have to admit, I am curious. It’s my nature, I guess, but I wanna try it, feel the way humans do, engage in something so sought after.” He’s very convincing, convincing enough for me to refrain from stopping him when he starts to lean down, thumb pressing under my jaw to tilt my head up, hand on my lower thigh squeezing. He takes his time, watching my reaction, leaning in slow, his chest heaving with even breaths, his lips parted, close to mine. “Grant me sexual autonomy.” He’s never asked, never expected any of his autonomy settings, other than this one, I guess, not that I mind, I’d prefer he had it, didn’t do anything out of his control, revert into his more robotic self to fulfill my wishes.

“Turn on sexual autonomy in the options menu.” His eyes flash blue, his body going rigid, only for a moment, before he’s back, looking at me, seeming eager, searching my eyes for any sign of disapproval, finding none. He runs his hand further up my leg, eyes cast down to the contact, his lips parted, almost awed.

“Your skin is… Soft. Feels fuzzy, you’re so warm…” His processes are going haywire, I can see it on his face, his mind racing to keep up with what he’s doing, digging through all the information he has to do a good job. “I’ve never felt like this before, this kind of pleasure is different, like it’s for me.” He’s not meant to have feelings, of any kind, but he does, in his own way, lets his mood depend on his helpfulness, even if I’ve urged and convinced him to see himself as his own being, he’s not wired that way.

“It is… I don’t- uh, It’s about you too, okay?” He hums, the low whir in his chest making me smile, one of the few things that reminds me he’s a machine. He moves, tentative, his hand slipping further up my thigh, fingers holding onto my hair, pulling gently when his lips meet mine, plush and smooth, his kiss gentle, unsure, none of the information he has able to tell him the best way to go about this. I move against him, setting a little faster of a pace, letting my hand slide up his stomach, his shaky exhale breathed against my lips.

“Tell me what you like.” He presses his forehead to mine, looking at me, lips and cheeks flushed, his hand hot on my thigh. He can’t take it, not being fully prepared for everything, having to figure things out as they come, his algorithmic brain not able to work through something he has no expertise on. “Don’t just look at me, tell me what you want me to be.” His brows are drawing together, analyzing, trying to figure it out before I even reply.

“What do you wanna be?” He has a personality, one to suit mine, of course, but he never asked for it, developed it, like a child growing up. I don’t want him to play a role, he must have some sort of instinct on how to act, how to be without me commanding him.

“I don’t know.” He’s never not known, he’s a genius, of course, knows everything there is to know, figures out anything he doesn’t. He looks pained, searching my eyes for an answer I can’t give, his hand tracing his equations into my skin. “All I know is I want you… I wanna see you fall apart, make you feel good, be the best lover you could ask for.” I kiss him, bringing my arms up around his neck, drawing him closer between my legs, his pleased hum making me smile, a good reaction from him, real, not asked for, just genuine feeling. His hand slips further up my leg, up to squeeze gently over my hip, feeling me, not looking to please, just letting himself do what he wants, exploring one of the few things he doesn’t know much about, his own form of pleasure. He follows my lead, moving plush lips against mine, the feeling insanely real, the heat of him a little higher than usual, his body heating up in response to my touch, my hands dug into soft locs of hair, pulling gently to separate his lips from mine, his mouth pressing to mine in one last, feverish kiss before he pulls back, eyes wide, wild with untapped pleasure.

“Is this okay?” He nods, swallowing, his lips parting to draw in heavy breaths, his hand sliding up my side, hot over my shirt, his warmth making me both soft and want to squirm.

“Yes, feels good. This is… I never imagined I could feel like this. It’s you, I’m not supposed to feel desire, this isn’t in my programming… Don’t reset me, I’ll be good, swear. I won’t deviate, I just… This is not in the script…” He seems stumped, frustrated at his lack of understanding what’s going on inside him, but I suppose he isn’t meant to have this much freedom, live like a normal person, other than the fact he has no need for a job, and is a machine.

“Leon? It’s okay to feel, okay? You’re not a toaster, yeah?” He laughs, low and rough, shaking his head, some of the robotic tension leeching from him. “Stop thinking so much.” He nods, eyes flashing blue, returning to normal when he blinks it away. “Sorry.” I didn’t mean to command him, but he doesn’t mind, it happens all the time, and he’s happy to oblige, anyways.

“It’s okay… Should we… Continue?” I gulp, and he leans back in, kissing me the way I like, learning quickly, as always, his big hand sliding up my back, fingers teasing at the hem of my shirt before slipping up my spine, my back arching at the gentle touch, his little pleased noise vibrating against my lips. The chair isn’t very comfortable, and my neck is straining from him standing over me, and he knows it, parting his lips from mine and tilting my jaw back down, forcing me to look up at him through my lashes, his expression sinful, eyes low, lips lightly parted, all of him hot, his skin warmer than mine. “You’re uncomfortable.” I nod, not very happy he paused to say that, but glad he cares enough to not leave me in discomfort. “I’ll take you to your room.” He pulls me up out of my chair by my ass, letting my legs drape over his hips, a sizable erection between us, one of his arms holding me up, the other holding my head still as he dips down, kissing at my neck, slow and sweet, his lips spit-slick. He’s walking, letting himself move through the space without looking, letting out a pleased rumble when I exhale a shaky breath.

“Leon, you don’t have to be so gentle…” He groans, the sound low and guttural, his lips pressing a little more feverishly to my skin, his hand squeezing my ass, the other slipping up the back of my shirt, smoothing up my skin, ticklish, making me arch into him, my chest pressed to his, his happy sigh hot on my skin. He leans me back, supporting my weight until I’m laid out on my bed, him on his knees between my legs, scanning, eyes flashing bright before he closes them, ignoring his instinct to run his hands up my thighs, peering down at my face, pushing up on the hem of my shirt, exposing my stomach, his lips coming down to skim up my thigh, one hand on the outside of my knee, holding it still, his lips warm and wet as he trails them up, his eyes on mine, his free hand finding my hip, pressing me into the mattress as he makes his way to my stomach, kissing across the waist of my pants, up toward my belly button, watching me, holding me still with gentle, nonaggressive pressure.

“I need you to tell me… Wanna be good for you… Feels good to make you feel good. I can’t figure it all out, you told me not to think…” He’s a little out of it, not nearly as composed as usual, eyes hazy, movements a little less practiced, but still confident, what information he does have allowing him to not be too unsure of himself. I push him, frowning at his questioning look, forgetting he’s a mostly immovable object.

“Get off.” He pulls back, sitting back on his heels, looking at me with wide eyes, flashing blue, then normal, none of the lust that was there a second ago visible, either put on pause or diminished due to my command.

“Sorry. I’m trying, I just don’t know-”

“Get on your back.” He does, drops down beside me, laid out flat, looking a little silly, considering I’ve never seen him in a bed, he usually sleeps standing, just shuts down for the night, doesn’t need any comfort. I turn over, taking a turn sitting up over him, one knee slotted between his legs, watching him, liking how unsure he looks, something I’ve never seen from him, one thing that separates him from a human. “You still want this?” I feel like I’m coercing him, even if I’m not, his mind far more developed than mine, if anything. I let my fingers trail up his thigh, his jeans rough on my fingers, his faux muscles tensing under my light touch.

“Yes. I’ve never wanted anything, besides this. It’s… Exhilarating, you’re so pretty above me.” My mouth pops open, not at all expecting his compliment, or his hand on my hip, pressing me down over his clothed leg, putting pressure on my clit, the action so forward I nearly gasp.

“Didn’t know dirty talk was part of the programming…” I watch my fingers, pushing up on the bottom of his tee, ghosting my fingers up the skin of his stomach, his abs tight and hot under my touch, his body reacting so intensely, wound up from such a simple touch.

“It’s not. You asked me to be honest.” I did, months ago, when he lied, about nothing important, but still, I see no need for it, at least from him. I nod, wetting my lips and leaning down, pressing them lightly just below his belly button, watching his face, expression back to the hazy, needy one he was giving me a few minutes ago. “Can I..?” He uses his grip on my hip to grind me against his thigh, pushing it up a little further between my legs, offering delicious pressure, the roughness of fabric between us a little shocking.

“Yeah. Do what you want.” He’s sat up on one elbow, watching me, kissing down, skimming my lips along toward his hip, my hand gripped to the waist of his pants, slipping down, fingertips gliding over his erection making him flinch, the low whirring coming back, rumbling through his chest for a few seconds, his hand gently rocking me against him. “Feel good?” He clenches his jaw, looking worried, brows drawn low and together, his eyes barely open, cloudy with lust.

“Yes, too good, I’m overheating, you feel so good, you’re hands are-” He cuts himself off with a choked noise, eyes squeezed closed and his head tipped back, my hand palming him over his pants, offering a little relief in whatever form of pleasure he gets, a strong one, judging by his reaction.

“Sensitive, huh?” He drags my hips a little rougher, eliciting a small, groaned out noise from me, seeming pleased with himself when I open my eyes, his lips pulled up in a little smile, eyes cast down at his leg between my thighs.

“You can turn down sensitivity in the options menu, would you like me to-”

“No. Don’t change anything, stay just like this…” I press my hand more firmly to him, grinding my palm into him, his hips shifting below me making me smile, his breathing a little erratic. His leg is trembling, only the one between my legs, vibrating almost, making me let out a shaky breath. “Wha- Are you-?” He huffs out a laugh, nodding, slamming his head back into the pillow when I grind my hand into him, rough, gripping him through his pants and jerking it, squeezing him, his low groan heavenly.

“Update 12.6a- I have lots of perks. No human can-ah- match up.” He punctuates his words by turning up the vibration, my body slumping, back hunched a little from how harsh it is, before he turns it back down, a little more gentle, other than how roughly hes grinding me against his thigh. “Let me take these off.” He pulls on the waist of my pants, deft fingers moving to unbutton them, undoing the zipper, his free hand coming down to ease them over my hips, his upper body sitting up, and arm around my waist pulling me up enough to get them down my legs, my feet kicking until they tumble to the floor. He takes it in, me sitting in front of him, his hands sliding up my thighs, thumbs teasing under the sides of my panties before continuing up. “You’re gorgeous… I’m so lucky, having a master as good as you.” I clench my thighs around him, gazing up into his eyes, loving the way he’s looking at me, like I’m the only thing on earth, at least the only one that matters. He’s pushing up on my shirt, looking into my eyes as he eases it up, pausing until I lift my arms, giving him permission, letting him pull it up and over my head, his eyes dipping down as he tosses it away, his hands sliding up my sides.

“Don’t you think you should take something off?” He doesn’t reply, just drags my leg up over his hip, straddling me over him, his lips skimming my collar bone, his breathing quick, hands sliding around to drag down my back, resting just above my ass, grinding me into him, his low groan hot on my skin. “C’mon, let me take this off.” I pull on his shirt, and he relents, pulling back and doing it for me, going back to what he was doing, kissing his way down from my collar bone, sucking gently on the skin above my bra, taking my low sigh as my assent, sucking the skin into his mouth and using an arm around my waist to hold me firmly against him, his hand still on my hip working me into his erection, which seems to be getting bigger, slotted nicer against me, giving me intense friction, his jeans rough against my panties.

“Feels so good… You’re so good… Your heart rate is higher than I’ve ever recorded, your body is responding so nicely. Love making you feel good.” He moans, for real, the sound nothing like the whirring hum of his groans, more human, wanton and needy, enjoying himself. “So pretty… Is there anything I can do better?” He’s a little breathless, turning us over and easing me down onto my back, looming over me, one hand rested beside my head, the other gripped to the outside of my thigh, keeping it hooked over his hip. “Is there?” I forgot to respond, too busy staring at him above me, looking so big, strong, his strength never something I thought about before, other than that he was stronger than me.

“Just… Enjoy yourself.” His muscles relax, his expression soft, none of the usual intensity behind his eyes, his elbow bending to bring his lips to mine, his body heating further, not used to all this excitement, his body humming with quiet energy. He’s grinding into me, hips sliding perfectly against me, the drag along my clit drawing a low moan out of me. “Le- Take these off.” I’m pulling at his pants, working the button until he takes over, clumsily shoving his pants down his legs, letting his head tuck down into my neck to free up his other hand, kicking his pants off and onto the floor.

“You take this off.” He sits up on his elbow, nosing and kissing at the side of my throat, pulling on my bra. I laugh, his pleased whirring tickling me, his hand running down my stomach.

“You do it, bossy.” He groans, pressing his hand back behind me, unclipping it much easier than I thought he would, not bothering to sit up to pull it down my arms, his mouth running down from my throat, mouth closing over a nipple, tongue lathing over it, his eyes peering up at me, his eyes low and pleased. He moans, vibrating against me, sucking where his lips are latched to my skin, his hand running up my thigh to press his thumb to my clit, surprising me, his lips pulling from my skin when I flinch, eyes on mine as he kisses his way to the opposite side, rubbing gently up and down over my panties.

“Feels good? I hope so… Let’s get these off.” He sits up, gripping onto the sides of my panties, staring at me as he pulls them down, tossing them off to the side and settling back down over me, nosing my head to the side to mouth at my throat, pressing his lips to my pulse, bringing his thumb back to my clit, rubbing soft circles. “Mmh, there we go, I’ll take good care of you, make you feel so good you’ll never need anyone else. You’re doing so good, looking so perfect and letting me please you…” He kisses his way back up, pressing his lips to mine, wet and open-mouthed, not messy, but needy, rushed, his thumb moving a little quicker against me, giving a little more pressure, my legs starting to shake. “There you go, you’re nearly there, oxytocin levels are skyrocketing, go ahead, want you to finish, let me see how pretty you are when you really feel it.” I moan, squirming against him, my orgasm coming, his face pulling a little further back to look at me, smiling, his expression a mix of lusty and pleased. “C’mon, give it to me, want you to feel good, finish from my fingers-” He doesn’t mind my nails digging into my arms, just works me through it, thumb light on my clit, his eyes on mine, watching me squirm and tilt my head back, the sensation becoming too much, his thumb pulling away the second it does.

“Shit, let me have a turn.” I shove at him, huffing a laugh when he feigns being pushed over, laid out on his back in his underwear, waiting on me to give him direction. I run my hand up his leg, gripping the band of his underwear and pulling down, getting them off and getting rid of them before kissing my way up his thigh, looking at him, the anticipation getting to him, his lips parted, brows pulled down and together.

“I don’t need this.” It would leave a bruise on my ego, if I didn’t know he’s just being honest, not that I care if he needs it, only if he wants it. “I don’t want to waste your time, I don’t require any type of foreplay.” I frown, kissing his base, peering at him over his dick, which is hanging heavy over his stomach.

“Can you get off like this?” I wrap my hand around him, smiling when he flinches, his dick twitching in my hand. I work it over him, keeping it slow, waiting on his reply, his eyes hazy with swirls of blue, systems crashing briefly before he’s back, letting out a light moan, carding a hand through my hair.

“No, I- The orgasm simulation can only progress if I’m inside, and you’re finishing too.” I hum, stroking a little rougher, tilting my head at him when he groans, his hips shifting, the pleasure a little too much, his expression almost fearful.

“It feels good, though?” He nods, head leaning back and eyes closed, letting me do what I want, enjoying himself, just like I asked. “Good.” I wait until he’s opened his eyes back up to lick from base to tip, closing my mouth around him and sinking down, his heady moan mouthwatering, really, drool coating his dick when I pull back up, watching him, his eyes hazy, his hand pulling at my hair when I suck him in again, bobbing up and down.

“Nnh- hey, do you want me to- I can-” He presses his knee up between my legs, rubbing it against me, making me moan around his dick. “There… Perfect…” He sounds pleased, whatever tension was plaguing him loosening now that he sees himself as being of use, rubbing his knee against my clit, offering some relief from the arousal he’s sparked inside with this new, needier self. “Do you wanna finish like this? I understand the usual progression would have me inside by now-”

“Shit, okay. Let’s get to it, then, if you don’t wanna take your time.” I sit up over him, looking at him, shuffling my way up until I’m hovering over his lap, his eyes on me as he sits up, his hands on my waist, his chest heaving.

“You’re ready?” I nod, waiting patiently as he reaches down, eyes hazy, aligning himself and pulling me slowly down onto him by my waist, the stretch less than painful, more than comfortable, not quite as snug as he could be. I’m a little above his face when he bottoms out, eyes swirling with blue for a few seconds before he blinks it away, shaking the heaviness out of his head, looking up at me and coming closer, holding me against him, keeping me seated on his dick as he kisses me, sloppier, messy and needy, my arms wrapped around his neck, his dick twitching and filling me a little fuller, the odd sensation making me pull back to give him a questioning look. “A perfect fit.” He doesn’t seem bothered, so I let the disturbed feeling settle, attempting to pull up off him, but big hands hold me still, keeping himself seated fully inside, melded to the walls, truly a perfect fit. “Let me stay like this, just for a minute… I like this, being impossibly close, feeling you in a way not many people get to…” He goes back to kissing, running his hands down to grip my hips, lifting me slowly up, letting me drop back down over him, his low groan breathed against my lips.

“Can I-”

“Let me do it.” I sigh, relenting, his hands lifting me up and sliding me back down, slow, keeping eye contact, pleased I’m giving him the choice, considering how easy it is to get him to do whatever I want. He keeps the slow pace, staring at my face, seeming pleased, his expression a mix of pleasure and calculativeness, trying to figure out the best way to finish me off, I suppose. “I’ll speed up soon, build-up is important, I don’t wanna deny you what you deserve, wanna be good…” He’s moving too slow, giving enough to fill me up, but not to do much else.

“I already came, Leon, build-up is irrelevant.” He nods, furrowing his brows and speeding up, keeping his grip firm, not letting me bounce, but bouncing me, keeping his eyes on mine, a low moan passing his lips when I clench around him, his pace quickening a little more, slaps of skin to skin sounding in my room adding a layer of intensity, his thumb pressing back to my clit prompting me to let my head lean back, a low, drawn out moan escaping him at the sight.

“You feel so nice inside, so warm, squeezed tight around me… God, this is the best I’ve ever felt, you feel good too, oxytocin is increasing-nnh- how many more times can you finish? Three? I’ll give you three more, wanna see you near tears, all from how good it feels.” He’s feverish, losing his usual stoicness, speaking rushed and breathless, his chest heaving, his hand working me over him, squeezing the fat of my ass, angling his hips further up, the drag along my insides unexpected, making me moan and drop my forehead to his shoulder, sweaty, searing hot on my skin. I’m shaking, letting him work me over him, letting out pleasured noises along with him, his face now tucked into the crook of my neck. “You’re getting worked up quick… I won’t even need the vibration, you’re almost ready, so tight, making such pretty sounds for me…” He holds me up, pausing, leaning back on one hand and dragging my upper body along with him, thrusting up into me, much quicker than he could’ve worked me over him, making me whine into his neck, spit slicking his skin, his hips slamming up into me, hands slipping up to my back to hold me in place so he can fuck into me, his voice getting higher, whinier. “There, now-ah, this is one out of three, so- so you still have two more after this, need you to finish, wet my dick some more, you’re shaking so nice, good thing I’m strong enough to hold you still…” I’ve never heard him curse before, I guess he’s doing his homework on dirty talk mid deed, his background processes doing him well, his words before now not all that enticing with his usual wording.

“Did you-

“Yes, wanted to be good, am I? Shit, tell me I’m good, wanna be good for you, make you feel so good you can’t think. You’re all I think about, you know that? You’re everything to me, I need to please you, make you cum all over my dick a few times before I’m finished.” I moan, shaking embarrassingly violently, nearly there, his dick filling me a little fuller, thrusts a little more needy, rutting up into me, making me whine into his shoulder, orgasm approaching, his nonstop thrusts working me up. “That’s it, gonna make you feel good, please you, have you soaking me, out of it from how good it feels, cumming on me over and fucking over.” My orgasm is shocking, the second I clamp down on him he presses me back down, holding me as I squirm and moan into his neck, grinding into me, stretching it out, pulling out of me once I still, guiding me to lay on my stomach, my body slumping down, ready for rest, until I feel hands pulling up on my hips, lifting me up to rest on my knees, chest and side of my face still pressed to the sheets.

“What are you..?” He presses inside, keeping it slow, aware I’m still coming down from my orgasm, his hands gently rocking me against him.

“This position is good for deep penetration, and I figured your legs were getting tired.” He speaks plainly, like he isn’t on his way to giving me my third orgasm in a couple minutes, his hips speeding up a little once he’s sure I can take it, his hands squeezing on my hips, rough and warm and big. “I’ll know when you’re satisfied, I’ll initiate the orgasm simulation when you’re ready.” He speaks matter of factly, and it would be funny, if he wasn’t fucking me into my mattress, low moans escaping me, my mind swimming, fuzzy and mushy, his hips noisy against me, his upper body folding over me, an arm around my waist pulling me into hars thrusts, his noises muffled into my shoulder blade, his lips kissing and sucking wherever he can reach. “Feels good? Well, I know it-shit- It does. Just- If there’s another-ah- something you prefer…” I let out a noise I hope sounds negative, succumbing to the numb, hazy pleasure, taking what he gives, his noises going higher, near the end of the line, if he could cum without having to initiate it, that is. “So- pretty-! You feel so good, pulling me in, letting me give you all you can-hah- take…” I’m nearly there, my third orgasm coming, the pleasure turning nearly painful, good in an awful, striking way, my legs trembling harshly, his fingers sneaking down to rub at my clit, his moan loud against me when I clench, muscles going tight, so close, my orgasm almost refusing to come. “Come on, quit holding yourself back, you can do it, you’ve had plenty of time. You’ve got it, you’re right there, just squeeze this sweet pussy on me, let me feel it, yeah, there you go, that’s it, fucking whining for it, you sound so damn good…” He fucks me through it, again, keeps his hold around my waist when I try to escape, the sensations too much, my low groan finally getting him to pull out, turning me over and giving me a break by capturing my lips, kissing me feverishly, pressing his knees up under my hips and leaning over me, his dick brushing agoinst me drawing a low whine out of me.

“No more, Leon, no more… I’m finished…” He pulls back, looking me over, eyes flashing blue, his look pensive.

“No you’re not.” He pushes inside, my low groan ignored, his eyes on me, watching me. “You think you can’t- handle more, but you can, can take this one and another, I’ll keep you cumming until you really can’t take it.” He doesn’t thrust, lets me finish coming down, kissing me and keeping a finger against my pulse, waiting for it to slow down before moving, both of us moaning at the drag of him inside.

“Just this one… I don’t want another.” I couldn’t take it, honestly, I’m already entirely fucked out, nearly unresponsive as he rocks inside, grinding up on his way out, my overstimulated nerves making me moan, painful pleasure still somehow enjoyable, even if I am trying to convince him I’ve had enough.

“No, you can take it. I know what you need, know you better than you know yourself.” He does, in a way, knows about my inner workings and psychology and the like, but I know this is killing me, tears in my eyes, his body too big and immovable for me to stop him from taking care of me, forcing me to finish the amount of times he sees fit. “Gonna make sure you’re satisfied, show you how good I am, how good I can be for you…” I’m shaking already, way too worked up, orgasms fading into a hazy pleasure, everything a blanket of hot and muggy sweetness, his lips meeting mine making me moan, his hips working into me, another orgasm well on its way with his relentless actions. “This one then another, okay? You can take it.” I pull him back, looking into his eyes, trying to focus, tears blurring my vision, my eyes half closed from how good it feels, how intense and terrifyingly good this is.

“Leon, begin-shit- begin orgasm simulation-!” He groans, head tucking down to my neck, his hips working more purposefully, all of him hot against me, a thumb working at my clit making me jerk, squirming away, but he keeps me still, working us both up, his noisiness gaining volume, making me almost worried the neighbors will hear.

“That’s- I wasn’t done, sneaky-ah- girl. Fuck, feels so good, love making you feel good, being good for my-nnh- Master-!” I moan, usually adverse to the title, but my hazy brain loves it, too full of him to really mind, letting him send me toward my final orgasm, if only to chase his, though that’s not the case, considering I have to get off for him to. “Shit, please, can’t-ah- Take anymore-! I’m fuckin’ overloading, you feel too good, squeezing me so tight, hot and wet and-Nnh-! Please, give it to me, let me please you one more time, it hurts, need you to cum, trap me inside and-” He whines, burying his face in my neck and fucking me through it, twitching inside the second I squeeze around him, his whiny moan drawing a pleased noise out of me as he slows, pulling out after a few more seconds, not moving to force anymore out of me, just kissing lightly up the side of my neck, easing himself up onto a hand to look at me, eyes flashing blue.

“Are you scanning for your performance right now?” He smiles, almost coy, pressing his hand to my skin, taking my vitals, not even trying to be subtle.

“Course. I meant it when I said I live to please.”

[its-in-the-woods]

Down the Rabbit Hole Chapter 22

Chapter one here, two here, three here, four here , five here, six here, seven here, eight here,nine here, ten here, eleven here , twelve here , thirthen here, fourteen here, Fifteen Here Sixteen here, Seventeen here, Eighteen here, Nineteen here, Twenty here , Twenty-One here,

master list

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating/Warning:  As always minor get out. This one is pretty tame, some angst, some hurt, come comfort, teeth rotting fluff

Synopsis: Learning how to be alone again.

“You going to be okay?” Walton asks as he stuffs his carry-on. You hand him his charger and ipad, watching him carefully tuck it into the front pocket. Happy that you had bought him the hard case for it, wondering how it had survived beforehand. 

“No, I believe I will turn into stone until you return?” You fake fall onto the bed, causing Walton to chuckle at you. You would definitely miss him, and it was hard to be away, but that was part of life. Part of the agreement, so to speak.

He lays down next to you, hand rubbing along your stomach. “I mean it. You're welcome to come with me, though I am not sure how exciting it will be.”

You hum contently, “I promise, I will be fine. It's four days, plus I could always use extra practice. Get to know the rest of the crew.” 

It also meant you’d have a decent paycheck, but you’d keep that to yourself. Walton had a habit of paying for anything and everything, he said it was the gentlemanly thing to do. Old ideas die hard, or something like that. As much as you appreciated it, having money tucked away just in case was still a priority for you. 

“I will have my phone, make sure I am replying when I can,”  Walton replies, pulling his phone out of his pocket to show you. 

“Do I need to get some duct tape?” You ask, teasing him as you run your fingers through his hair, getting a soft groan. “You'll be back here before we know it.”

The two of you take the elevator down into the hustle and bustle of the city. Leo is waiting for Walton, you give Walton a quick kiss and hug before you see him off. You watch him drive away, your heart clenching as your stomach turns.

Four days, that's all it would be.

***

It was not four days, not surprisingly several things had come up, and now he wouldn't be back till Friday night. Walton should be back that evening, but it still left you feeling a little sore about the whole situation. The week had been challenging, to say the least, filming schedules shifted, and locations needing to be changed on the fly. The first day had been okay, everyone was easy enough to work with. You were back in a pop-up tent, but work was work. Right? 

That’s when the realization that some of the other artists weren’t happy with your placement. So instead of being welcoming, they’d given you the cold shoulder. Nothing new, or really exciting, but it was annoying. Trying to get details was a guessing game, that had meant pouring over the notes you could get your hands on. Rereading scripts and pages, and trying to hopefully get things right. The ADs hovering over your shoulder didn’t help matters, nothing was fast enough. Just to see the extras get tucked in the back, where they wouldn’t get seen by the camera. 

By the end of the day, you had decided to stop by the liquor store and grab something a bit stronger. Along with some mix, limes, and a greasy sandwich you’d probably regret later. Once back in the hotel, you had a long hot shower and crawled into bed with a drink. Flicking your phone open you weren’t surprised to see no messages. Walton had been busy, so you sent a quick message goodnight and called it a day.

Days two and three were much the same. Handling extras that were never seen, avoiding glares from the other artists, you had given up trying to talk to them. Sitting in the lunch tent, flipping through a novel on your phone, when one of the artists sat across from you. The woman had neatly placed black curls, a round face, olive skin, and hazel eyes that looked at you over her gold-rimmed glass.

“New girl in town?” The woman asks, picking at her salad, she has several tattoos along her arms. One was a pair of scissors and a comb meaning she was more than likely part of Hair. 

“Sort of.” You reply, putting your phone down, no sense being rude. “I usually work with Walton, but he is away this week.”

“Ahh, the girlfriend. That’s why everyone’s so cagey.” She says quietly, putting her fork down to look at you. 

You shrug, doing your best not to show how much that bothered you. “No need for anyone to be cagey, I am here to do my job like everyone else.”

“Yet, you’re not like everyone else.” She points the fork at you, raising her eyebrows. “You’re the lead actor's girlfriend, or whatever. Which means we all got to be on our best behavior.”

You lean back in your chair, crossing your arms across your stomach. “I am not different than anyone else.” You push your plate away. “Just here to do a job, and be apart of the process.”  

The girl rolls her eyes, it isn’t lost on you that she hasn’t given you her name. “You won't be a little nervous about some new artist coming in? No one knows you, you're doing the fx on the lead actor, and have barely said hello to anyone”

You fiddle with the watch on your wrist, you hadn't really thought about that. Others might have taken your lack of socialization as being a bit of a stuck-up.

“I didn't mean to be rude, just my first full fx gig.” You reply, looking down at the texture of the table. "Plus Walton often needs a little more attention cause of the prosthetics and the heat."

She shrugs, "I get it, but really you should come by the trailer and introduce yourself. We aren't as bitchy as we seem. I promise"

You decide then to hold out your hand and introduce yourself to the woman across from you. As well as take the time to stop by the trailer before lunch had finished.

"I am, Angela," She said, shaking your hand firmly. "Nice to finally meet you.

The two of you talk back and forth about schools, aspirations, and what shows you had both worked on. You are grateful that Angela left out any questions about Walton, instead filling you in on who was who on set.

The two of you walk to the trailer, and Angela introduces you to everyone. Despite a few sideways looks, they are friendly and one of the make-up artists even gives you the shared cloud link for all the notes.

Then day four came, and the dread text came through. You knew as soon as your phone buzzed what it would be.

Walton: Looks like I am going to be here till Friday. I will make it up to you <3

You: Nothing to make up for. Can’t wait to see you <3

Walton: I miss you so much.

You: I miss you too, love you.

Walton: Love you more

You close your phone sliding it onto the side table, tears staining your pillowcase. Even if it was only a couple more days, it was still hard not to feel alone. Angela had made some headway in the department so the other artists were now accepting you, but the tension hadn’t left. At least you had notes and could prioritize the extras that were in front of the camera instead of guessing.  

Still, the whole space felt off, you felt off. Maybe it was just you, but you missed having someone to talk to at the end of the day. To tell you it was going to be okay. Yes, you both had talked on the phone, over text, and facetime, but it wasn’t the same. Yet, again, that was part of the job, part of the relationship. There were going to be days, weeks, even months where you didn’t see each other. It didn’t help the loneliness, that was a new feeling. Not a feeling you were too fond of either, after years of not relying on anyone, missing someone was rough. 

Dragging your blanket over your head you force yourself to try and sleep. Two more days, just two more days right?

***

Friday night had come, it was so damn late that it was hard to keep your eyes open. You now fully understood why so many people did harder stuff, cause the long nights were catching up to you. At this rate, it would be turning into a fraturday. You shift on your feet, the ache in your calves had settled in sometimes on Wednesday and hadn’t given up. A chair wasn’t an option when you were juggling this many people, the ADs always eyeballing you. A massage, and a hot bath. You mentally are doing the math as to how much you have in your account, maybe just a bath and some tylenol. 

“Hey,” You look up at the head of the department walking over. Taylor, or Tanner? You couldn’t remember exactly. “You are clear to go home. AD just sent the extras home, go get some sleep.” 

You give him a thumbs up, “Perfect, thank you. See yah on Monday.” 

You hobble over to your tent, grab your water bottle, then make a beeline for the trailer. The SPFX trailer was not technically in use this week, but that hasn’t stopped you from stashing your kit in there. At least it meant no one would steal stuff. You clean everything, grabbing cleaner and your brushes for the weekend. A deep clean was needed, you also mentally noted that you needed to come in forty minutes early to get yourself set up on Monday. 

The ride back to the hotel is mostly filled with yawns, and trying to stay awake enough to make the drive. The hotel is thankfully quiet, being as late as it is, you hit the elevator and stop staring at the buttons. You realize that you have no idea what floor your room is on, chuckling you walk out and ask the front desk. Who gives you the floor number, looking as confused as you feel.

You finally up to the floor and walk over to your room door. Juggling keys and bag you finally get the door open, and Walton is sitting on the bed leaning back on his hands. Looking like he was fresh out of the shower, a crooked smile on his face.

“You’re home,” He grins, getting up to help unload your things. 

You smile back, blinking in surprise. “You never texted that you were here.” 

He leans down and gives you a quick kiss, “Wanted to surprise you. Knew you had a hard week.”

You take off your jacket, and toeing off your shoes stretching your feet in the carpet. “It was, well it was interesting.” You sigh, grabbing a cup to fill with water. “But I think things are looking up. Maybe now?” 

Walton chuckles, handing you some tylenol, which you gratefully take with the water. “I think they just need to get to know you better.”

Rubbing at your temples you nod, “You may be right. I wasn’t exactly in my best mood. Handling twenty extras was a bitch.”

“But you did it, made it to the end of the week.” He says, walking over to the bathroom. “Let me draw you a bath, order some overpriced room service and we can unwind.”

“I will be fine without food,” You try and argue, stripping out of your clothes, you dig into your bag finding a loose-fitting t-shirt and a pair of baggy shorts. 

Walton sticks his head out of the bathroom, “Room service, maybe some ice cream too.”

“You aren’t going to let me say no, are you?” You sigh, walking over to the bathroom, he shakes his head when he sees you. 

“Not this time, you need to eat and relax. I’d do anything for you,” He grins as he sits himself up on the counter, bare feet moving back and forth.

You remove the rest of your clothing, stepping into the hot bathtub, you groan loud enough for Walton’s eyebrows to shoot up. Trying not to think about it too much you sink down into the hot water. Walton is up, rolling a fluffy towel up and putting it behind your head, he makes sure to lift your hair out of the water. Going back he grabs a brush and another towel. You close your eyes and let him take care of you.

“Going to let me take care of you?” He asks as he ties off the braid with practice ease. 

“What do you have planned?” You ask, wondering what he had plans. “It’s already Saturday.” 

“If you feel like it, spa Saturday afternoon, there is a fantastic farmers market we should go to. Then Sunday we are doing massages, and there is a couple of early theater shows I think we should go see.” Walton suggests you shake your head with a small grin. Of course, he’d have the whole weekend planned out.

“I would love that,” You reply, sinking down a little more into the water. 

You hear him get up, walking out of the bathroom to order food, and you take the time to soap yourself up and clean a little. Using a small hand towel to wipe away the dirt, you can just make out the rumbling of his voice. A warm comfort knowing he is there, that you weren’t alone tonight. When did being alone become so scary?

“So food will be up here in about thirty minutes,” He calls out, coming back into the bathroom. “Feeling a little better?”

You can’t hide your grin, “Yeah, I think the headache is almost gone, and my legs aren’t cramping anymore.”

Walton grabs another fluffy towel and robe, “Ready to get out?"

Nodding your head you get out of the tub, Walton walks forward holding the towel. You go to grab it, but he bats your hands away and starts to dry you off. His hands are gentle, as he takes his time to dry you. It’s strangely intimate, feel yourself shiver as he finishes standing just behind you. He leans down and kisses across the top of your shoulder, hands traveling around your ribs down to your hips. You lean against him, humming slightly as your eyes close. 

Soft rob material replaces his heat, as he wraps you up in the rob, kissing your neck before grabbing your hand and leading you out of the room. You follow, the heat from the bath and tylenol had eased the pain in your legs. Walton pulls the blankets back so you can sit down, you adjust the pillows so you’re comfortable. As if on cue room service knocks on the door. 

Walton disappears, rolling a small cart into the room. “Dinner of champions,” He lifts the lid with a flourish, to reveal two bowls of ice cream. “But we keep it balanced,” Walton lifts the other lid to reveal a platter of various fruits. “Also champagne, cause everything's better with bubbles.” 

You happily take the champagne, Walton busying himself getting all the bits and pieces set on the bed. He slides in sitting cross legged beside you. 

“I remember the last time you and me had some fruit,” You tease as you grab a strawberry, taking it with a spoon full of ice cream.   

Walton giggles, his face flushing, as he grabs some melon. “I seem to remember you enjoying yourself.”

You cough back another spoonful of ice cream, “Oh, I have no complaints about anything.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him, taking another sip of the drink, the fuzzy feeling hitting your temples.

His fingers sliding up your thigh, “Always room for improvements, practice makes perfect.” 

“Now, now, let me finish my ice cream,” You tease, making sure not to push him away but lean into it. 

The two of you finish up most of the fruit and ice cream, Walton clearing everything up making sure you stay seated. He disappears for a moment, moving the cart out into the hallway, then slipping into the bathroom. You can hear him rummaging around in there. 

“What are you looking for?” You ask, going to get up when he comes out. He has two packages of something, and several bottles tucked under his arms. “Is that all my skincare?”

Walton beams setting all the bits and pieces down. The two of you sitting

cross-legged on the bed together, grabbing the facemask out of the packages to dawn them. Walton makes faces as you help him stick it on.

“This smells so good,” Walton says, grabbing another bottle. “What do you use for hands?”

Your head tips back laughing, “The one that says hands.” 

“Oooh” Walton chuckles, lifting the bottle triumphantly. He carefully squirts some out onto his palm and holds his hand out for you. 

“So how was LA?” You ask as he starts to carefully rub the cream into your hands. 

“It was a lot, Doug has me jammed for the foreseeable future.” Walton says, making sure each hand is covered. “I missed you a lot, it’s not the same without you.”

You flush a little, “I missed you too. But I am always glad you’re busy,”

He dug through the bottles scooting down the bed to start to work at your feet. You shiver a little curling your toes as it tickles. 

“You sure?” Walton asks, looking up over his glasses, as he massages against the arch of your foot. You wince a little feeling soreness there, as he moves down to cup the heel of your foot. 

You tilt your head, “What makes you ask?”

“When you walked in, it was like you were a different person.” He says quietly, now working up our calves. “That spark, that I love so much, was dim. I haven’t seen it before and I really don’t want to see it again.”

You swallow, crossing your arms to hold at your shoulders. “I’ve come to rely on you, maybe even more than I had realized.” His hands find a knot in the back of your calf that makes you tense up, he eases back but keeps working at it. “I feel like I am repeating myself here. But relying on someone isn’t easy for me, and I found myself feeling incredibly lonel while you were gone.”

Walton doesn’t say anything instead moving over to the other leg, his hands soothing the aches and pains from the week. His shoulders stretch the fabric across his back, before he looks up at you. “Is there a way I can make it easier for you?” 

You look out the window towards the city lights, trying to find words. It wasn’t that you needed things to be easier, it was more that it was taking time to adjust to things. To adjust to being in love with someone, to being in love but also knowing that you couldn’t always be with them.

“I don’t think there is a way to make it easier. Right now it’s me, I am still learning and changing. This week made that so clear.” You bite your lip trying to make sense of it all. 

He finishes up with your legs, tucking the different bottles away, the two of you helping each other peel off the face masks. Walton shuffles into the bed, leaning you against his chest hands running over the twist of your hair. 

“I know we aren’t going to always be together.” You say quietly, shifting on the bed to get more comfortable. “I think that scares me, scares me a lot. Cause I don’t want to lose you, to miss out on anything.”

“Think the kids call that FO-MO,” Walton teases, kissing the top of your head. 

You swat at his chest, “Oh hush, I was trying to be sentimental.”

Walton chuckles but brings you close to him. “We are going to spend time apart, but I promise I am not going anywhere. Don’t care what happens, me and you, until you get tired of my old gray ass.”

You let out a snort, leaning back so you can kiss him properly. “What happens if I don’t get tired of you?”

Walton leans back humming as he looks up at the ceiling, “Then I guess we'll just stay together.”

“Promise?” You ask, watching him carefully, he looks back down at you. 

“Promise.” He says back, kissing you again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Our favorite love birds are back!

@ghoulphile @hiddlebatchedloki @live-logs-and-proper @justme12200 @ryankaylamartin96

@rachmar  @therest-stillunwritten @awhoresjourney @stankface

@itsyellow @toogaytofunctiondangit @whatsorceressisthis @ladyren33 @dichromaniac

@tina-armani @ladyren33 @luckytiggertalia

[aggressiveviking]

confession

My dad has never been satisfied with anything I’ve ever done in my life. I wanted him to be happy and proud of me, so I always tried my best to do anything and everything he wanted from me,  he wanted for me. But I never managed to do things just the way he wanted them, I was always just a step short of being what he wanted me to be. I was never ambitious or driven in the right way. My passions were useless and impractical. So they had no place in my life… I accepted it because it seemed like he liked it better that way… 

The fact was that he was never happy - not even when I succeed in the things he demanded were most important. I stopped doing anything that he would disapprove or that could somehow make him angry. Around him, I was scared to talk, because he could get angry from just about anything - the smaller the problem, the worse it got. I don't even remember when I started hiding things from him - it seems to me like I've done it forever. First, I only hid bad things - it was better for him to not know, so I can fix the problem before he learned of it and got angry. In time, I started hiding good things as well. Things I knew he would disapprove of, that I loved - my likes, the things I loved to do, my preferences, my opinions. I didn’t want to give him any reason to be unhappy with me, but no matter what. No matter how hard I tried to please him, to make him happy, to not annoy him, or bother him - it was never enough. He was never happy. There was always my old failures held over my head, and something new I had to do to win his approval. Never anything more.

However, he was not always in a bad mood. When he was in a good mood he was awesome - he joked and laughed, he was kind and generous and fun… and everything nice. I lived for those moments. When I didn't have to tiptoe, when I didn't have to worry about every little gesture, or script every sentence in my head beforehand.

…but those moments were random, and they could disappear as fast as they appeared.

Every sound terrifies me. I hear a voice that sounds like him, hear footsteps, closing of a car’s door, dying down of an engine, keys at the door, squeaking of a hinge - my heart leaps in my throat. Even if I'm not doing anything wrong - he mustn’t see me doing anything. Who knows what might anger him. He always sees me doing nothing… but it seems that is what angers him right now, that's what's been angering him all along.

And I've just been digging my own grave.

I began seeing myself as he did - lacking. It happened without me noticing. And suddenly I became self-absorbed in the worst possible way. I only saw the flaws in myself, and the harder I looked, the bigger they seemed. I became the obstacle that I had to overcome, so I can finally be happy - everything I was, everything I felt, everything I thought or wanted... I believed it was wrong. And I had to set it right. The way that I was taught it was supposed to be. 

And I ruled myself with an iron fist. 

I was crueler to myself than he ever was. I pushed myself, I crushed myself, shoved myself away so I could be finally right. And all the while I was in pain. Always and all the time - but I endured it because I believed sincerely that life was a struggle and that the harder it was, the more painful it was, that only meant I was doing it right. Because that's what I was taught. 

Strength above all. I was taught to despise weakness, and weaknesses came in any form. If you get sick and allow yourself to show it - you're weak. If you are tired, and you want to rest - you're weak. If you're hurt, and you show you feel pain - you're weak - both physical or emotional. You don't have the right to cry - there are people out there with real problems, you don't have problems - you have a home, you have a bed, you have a family, you have food - there is nothing more you should want for. All of that came with the price of absolute obedience. You are not a person, you are something that gets taken care of, and you need to be grateful - you need to give yourself away, body and mind, to pay for this depth of life. 

You tell me that there's nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as you get back up again… but you always make a point of kicking me when I'm down. And you wonder why I never ask for help. 

Long time ago you taught me that I should never ask for your help because you would never help me. You would always tell me to fix it myself. You would criticize my weaknesses and point out my shortcomings and tell me to overcome them with my own strength. That was your lesson. That the world is cruel, but instead you taught me that you are cruel. You taught me that I'm weak and stupid. You taught me what fear is. You taught me distrust. You taught me that I wasn't enough, that I wasn't good enough. You taught me to hate myself. 

You say you despise cheaters and liars… but you're the one who pushed me to become one. I knew I wasn't good enough, I knew I could never be able to do everything you want me to do, and I knew that you'd be angry. So I lied. I lied and lied and then I decided to cheat, do everything I need to succeed at what you pushed me to do, even if it wasn’t right... and then suddenly you weren't angry. You stopped screaming at me, you stopped trampling me and beating me down. For a second, I had peace for the first time in my life. And then it was gone… until I lied and cheated again. So I did it as much as I could because I was tired, and I was afraid. Lies and cheats were my only friends. The only ones I could depend on to save me… from you. 

So I'm not ashamed of being a liar and a cheater, because that is what saved me. I'm not ashamed of the path I chose, the one I walked alone with my own strength. It might be a bad one, but it kept me alive. I'm not ashamed that I didn't work harder. I can give a million reasons why, but the only one that matters is that I didn't want to work hard at the thing you tell me to. My goals were never to be stronger or smarter - that was yours, and it was never enough. The only things I wanted were peace, safety and happiness. By any means necessary. 

[spiriteddreams]

i'm sorry (liar)

you should have known, fake dating never ends well. but what can you do when you are just a fool in love? Pairing: Al-Haitham x Reader Warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort Word Count: ~1k

“because i love you!” you cry out, hands shaking in front of your chest as if you were cradling the pieces of your heart. you think you can feel the pieces in your hand, shattered, worn, crumbling and yet you still try to hold them to your chest. “i love you more than i should and it’s so hard to keep pretending every single day that i don’t! i can’t keep pretending to be in this… relationship with you when my feelings are on the line! it’s eating me up inside and i’m sorry! i’m sorry… okay?”

it’s silent. the worst kind of silence. the one that lives in the shadows and slithers behind your back to taunt you, leering in your face with cruel eyes and a twisted smile. it tightens around your chest until you choke on air and it jolts you back to the present. but he just stares at you, and that blank expression on his face stings.

“i— i don’t know what to say.”

“of course you don’t.” your laugh is dry and unfamiliar, shocking yourself and him. he swallows thickly, eyes searching yours to read the emotions that are clear across your face. he sees the hurt, the humiliation, the puffy eyes and previously shed tears. because of him. and when you speak to him, it’s void of the gentleness and grace he was once so accustomed to. you realize it doesn’t sound like you at all, devoid of any emotion. “you never do, do you? here i am, spilling out my stupid feelings in front of you like an absolute fool and—“

“what am i supposed to say, sorry? i’m sorry, okay?” his chest heaves, as if they took all the breath from his lungs, and you want to take that word from his lips and crush it in your palm. he doesn’t deserve that word. sorry.

it is poison on his tongue, slippery but sweet, false comfort that you once thought you could indulge him. he says “sorry” like it’s just a word. it holds no weight when it falls from his tongue. because al-haitham is a man of schemes, and more often than not, the word “sorry” is just a word on a script. he plays the part well, too well in fact. he lures in his prey and when the time is right, makes a swift departure in the form of an excuse.

“i simply wish to return back to my life before this disaster,” he had shrugged. “i’m simply a feeble scholar, i have no intention to cause any extra unnecessary stress in my life.”

you scoff, “unnecessary stress? is that what you call this… relationship?”

he’s silent. you take that as your answer.

“you can’t tell me this isn’t fake anymore.”

he sighs and looks away, “we entered this relationship for the benefit of us both, to get people to stop asking questions and to steer them in a different direction. if you knew that this was going to happen you should have said something beforehand.”

what do you say to that? what do you say to someone who believes himself to think so logically and plan so far ahead that any emotions gathered and strung up along the way aren’t even factored in? and the worst part is, you know why he’s doing this. because al-haitham has always valued logic over emotion, and whether or not he might have the hint of the same shared feelings as you, it’s near impossible to tell by the way he is so nonchalant in brushing you off. it’s as if he’s trying to get rid of this, get rid of you before he realizes his own feelings. perhaps it’s your turn to get rid of him before they worsen.

“whatever,” you turn around to leave. “i won’t waste your time any longer.” you don’t see the way your words sting him and the way his mouth twitches downwards. he doesn’t quite like the way your back faces him, or the tenseness in your muscles, or the way you scoff in what sounds like disappointment to his ears. the door opens and shuts before he can process what happens, and he’s left to grasp at air.

//

“i’m sorry.”

you stare at him thoughtfully, eyes moving ever so slightly as if reading words off of his face. he hopes those silent words are enough to convince you. now, months later, he finds himself at your door with those same words on his lips. they taste different now, more bitter and desperate, laced with months worth of distraught emotions at the distance you had slowly but surely put between the two of you. 

“do you even know what you’re sorry for?” you sound tired but calm. he opens his mouth to respond, but closes it when nothing comes out. there’s so much to apologize for and yet he doesn’t know where to start.

“it’s fine, al-haitham.” the smile that crosses your face doesn’t meet your eyes. it’s like you know what he’s trying to say through the gaps of silence, and yet you refuse to hear it. the sharp shake of your head is like a snapping thread, like you’ve yanked his end from his hands and have started to curl it around yours, as if to bandage your shattered pride. but your pride has long since healed, at least from what al-haitham can tell. now it is his own feelings and mess of thoughts that he’s left to piece together. but the bandage and glue that you used to piece yourself back together is still held tightly in your hands and he doesn’t know how to ask for it.

“don’t you think it’s rather too late to be searching for closure?” you hum, tilting your head thoughtfully. al-haitham realizes he doesn’t like this side of you. you’re too calm, too logical, too ignorant of the war of emotions that rages on in his head. he wants to go back, jump through time, pray to the archons he once rolled his eyes at and ask if he could have one chance to fix a mistake that he hadn’t realized would have spiraled into this mess. he knows now what it means to be in love with someone who won’t love you back. you, don’t love him back, not anymore. he thinks it’s hard to learn how to love. and maybe if he had learned sooner, he might not be the fool who realized too late. he wishes he would have known sooner and he wishes you still feel the same.

or, perhaps you're both liars.

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3 a/n: idk sorry about the bad ending

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I just want to know what Ewan meant by Aemond being gray this season as opposed to being completely black last season (which he wasn't). Aemond's "different shades" so far have only been shades we've already seen in s1, he actually had more emotions after Luke's death than he did in s2 and we saw glimpses of his vulnerability in ep9. He even felt grief for Viserys of all people (confirmed by the script). Was Ewan really talking about the two brief brothel scenes that took less than two minutes of screentime? And if Aemond does banish his mother.... That's something I can see the showrunners doing because women must always suffer from evil men, but that's so cartoonish at this point, I can't take it seriously. They can't have Alicent leaving her daughter but they have to remove her from Kings landing before the fall because god forbid show Alicent would defend the city like her book counterpart... This is insane. Why does everyone get new storylines and Emond just becomes a scapegoat for the showrunners who have to take the blame so everyone else gets whitewashed, but he can't even get proper time for his villainy? They're only turning into a boring villain. But I'm just really confused why would Ewan say that one of Aemond's motivations is to make his mother happy (in his mind) if he treats her like that? And that Aemond remembers Driftmark and how she was the only one who stood by him. Or this is another lie from Ewan just like "Aemond's redeeming quality is his loyalty"? I don't like it when the cast is setting the expectations only to subvert it on screen.

Hello!

Right, I (just like pretty much everyone in the fandom, I believe) noticed the discrepancies between the things Ewan said in the interviews and what we have (or haven't) seen on screen. To be fair, it concerns other actors as well (like Tom stating multiple times that Aegon and Aemond love each other no matter what and talking about Aegon's growing respect for Helaena, Fabien mentioning "he wants what she wants" thing about Criston and Alicent, Steve painting Corlys and Rhaenys' marriage in a better light that it actually looks in the show) with Aemond/Ewan situation merely being the most glaring example. And the reason it is the most glaring example is that Aemond IMO got the clumsiest and most meaningless character butchering of them all.

As for the reasons the actors (Ewan among them) keep misleading the viewers, there are several possibilities (that can - and IMO do - coexist):

While I don't think HotD cast are merely parroting the words put in their mouths by HBO team, the latter definitely give them some instructions with regards to the way they are supposed to talk about their characters and the things they need to/can't say. So, in some cases, the actors basically have to deceive the audience.

For some time now I've had an impression that the actors don't have full information on which scenes actually make it to the final version and which get cut before they see the show (once again remembering Matt Smith not knowing about "Daemon fighting Crabfeeder and his army" scene being a silent one for his character). And even if they are actually told beforehand which scenes are included in the show, I think that actors' perception of their characters are influenced by every scene they filmed (and even by some they didn't - but that's point number 3). So, during the promo the cast might take into account some scenes or plot points that we, the viewers, might never even learn about.

Each actor has their own view and opinion on their character - and this view is based not only on the script but on their own thoughts and even headcanons. I believe that is the case for the brotherly love (albeit a "weird" one) that Aegon and Aemond feel for each other according to Tom (by the way, he also mentioned the readiness for backstabbing between them being a mutual thing - define backstabbing) or for Aemond having some kind of love for and loyalty to his brother according to Ewan (define loyalty). In part this also might go for the "coloring" assigned to Aemond by Ewan.

There could be one more adjacent reason - and the saddest one: Ewan is not happy with the way Aemond's story is being told in the show (it could be noticed during several moments in the promo) and was trying his best to make the audience see the Aemond that he sees. And, well, I can't speak for other people (either fans or casual viewers) but I personally don't have it in me to judge him (or any other HotD actor doing the same thing) for it - even though, just like you, I'm not fond of being misled. Imagine giving so much thought, time, energy and love to a character, having high hopes for his development - only to be given... this. Combine it with the point number 1 (at best actors are not allowed to reveal much of what's actually going on with their characters during the promo, at worst they are told to tell lies or half-truths) and the fact that Ewan has very little experience in the 'doing promo' department - and we might just get what we, in fact, got.

[suzalulusource]

Was the final episode something you thought of from the very beginning? Taniguchi: Yes. The ending was decided upon beforehand. Although it was eventually cut, I actually had [Okouchi] write a script for episode 1, one which began with the scene of Suzaku attempting to kill Lelouch. I'm talking about episode 1 of the previous series, not R2. The relationship between Lelouch and Suzaku described in these 50 episodes has seen a lot of ups and downs. They've shot at each other with guns, tried to kill each other, stepped on the other's face after he humbled himself by getting on his knees...... Taniguchi: From my point of view, Lelouch and Suzaku's relationship in the previous series did not go beyond that of reunited childhood friends. It wasn't "friendship" -- they were playing at a "make-believe friendship". With R2, my intention was to show how it turned into "friendship" in the truest sense of the word. ......As for the part with the kneeling, if Lelouch hadn't done that, he might have been killed by Suzaku, and Suzaku, had he not stepped on Lelouch's face, would probably not have been able to control his rage. Basically, it was necessary to go that far for Lelouch and Suzaku to be able to rebuild their bonds. Taniguchi: It's a matter of definition, but for me, the relationship between "good friends", to put it bluntly, is one in which "they are able to change each other's soiled underwear even when they've become doddering geezers". Fukuyama: Though in my opinion, that's already crossed the line into "love" territory (laugh).

from an interview in Newtype November 2008 (translation by Celiss Galvea)

[harus-simp]

First impressions

-Zhang Hao x reader-

Warning:none

Author's note: A little something I thought of 🤭

Hope you guys like it:D

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Zhang Hao didn't believe in love at first sight at all, but when you locked eyes with him he felt at your complete mercy.

Oh, the pressure the pressure. It was getting to a point where the trainees were having a really hard time on the camp as the eliminations and the 3rd mission were approaching.

Zhang Hao and team Overdose had worked really hard in order to make an amazing performance for their audience, however he had been struggling as a leader, doubting himself and his ability to carry the team on his shoulders.

So when they send them outdoors to do some activities it felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders, at least for a few moments.

When they heard that they would held a special event for star creators they put even more efforts in their games, really determined to get the best for their dear fans.

But, in spite of the fun moments they were sharing Zhang Hao still was anxious about their performance. And they had to now perform to some star creators beforehand? He couldn't even catch his breath, God.

He reminded himself that all his hard work would eventually pay off and bring a smile to star creators faces all around the world, so he kept trying as hard as he could.

.

.

.

The day finally came and they were decorating the place and organising it so that their fans could be comfortably watching their performances.

"How do you think they sorted out this event, like they won a contest or something?" asked him hanbin

He was throwed off by the question for a moment, he hadn't thought about that tho. Was it random?

"Well now that you mention it I'm not quite sure"

But he couldn't process further because they were told to go to the stage and wait for the star creators to arrive.

As he stood behind the curtain he felt really nervous for a reason? He didn't know why but he had a strange and suspicious feeling about all the event act in itself.

Hanbin and Gyuvin started their work as mc's reading the script they held on their hands in hopes of a response or a cheer from the other side, however they didn't heard a word coming from the people. How weird, they didn't even heard them gossip or talk between themselves. What was happening?

When the curtain fell off they were not met with some fans, no, before them stood (well more like were seated) their family and friends.

Yeah that was such an mnet thing to do, he should have figured it out earlier.

Each team performed for their family and friends flawlessly until it was overdoses team turn. They asked each person who had came to support them, but it wasn't until the turn of one of his team mates came that he couldn't stop staring at certain someone.

"Well jay, tell us who came today to support you" asked gyuvin already memorising the script

"Today came my friends y/n, f/n and o/f/n"

Zhang Hao was gobsmacked by your figure and your beauty, he felt like time stopped and it was only you he could see.

And then you both exchanged a glance, a glance that was prolongated by a lot. He literally had had like a chemical reaction to your presence, and let's just say that he wasn't the only one.

You on the other side was also captivated by his pretty face and his curious expression adorned by his sparkly dark eyes.

Oh, now he definitely had to work harder, he wanted to impress you with his dance and singing abilities, he wanted you to look at him specifically. Of course you would watch your friend, but he wanted you to focus on him in great part of the song. It felt like a kid looking for attention (new jeans pun intended 😀)

Once the performances were finished they were allowed to say hello to their relatives properly by coming off stage. In all the chaos that was formed he noticed how jay had approached him when he saw his parents couldn't make it, so he offered to introduce him to his friends. And how could he deny it, when all he had been thinking about till then was you.

"Hey guys, this is Zhang Hao, he was quite lonely right there, so figured out he could use some extra company"said jay

"Oh, your parents didn't come?"you asked curiously

"No, unfortunately they couldn't get here"he answered with a pity smile.

"Well then, from now on we will be representing your parents as well"

It was just the way you casually said it that made his heart rate speed to unimaginable paces. He smiled softly thanking you with a small laugh for your cute gesture.

"By the way, over me was amazing! You guys pulled the concept incredibly well!"

"Thank you"

All those compliments you were throwing him were making wonders to his face as his cheeks flushed in a deep crimson red tone. He swore he didn't believe in love at first sight, but you were making it too hard to not make it believable anymore.

Jay saw the little glances you were throwing to each other throughout the whole event and he kinda was determined to be a wingman over there, so every opportunity he had he let you alone with Zhang Hao (yeah you better thank him later 🙄).

When the event came eventually to an end, you were feeling kinda disappointed because you wanted to spend more time with this curious guy that had captured your heart as hard as him, but well that's what it is.

You bid goodbye to everyone you met, including jay of course,with only Zhang Hao left.

"Well it was a pleasure meeting you hao!"

"The pleasure's mine y/n"

And just like that you both parted ways, however jay wasn't gonna let this slip so he went to his friend and brought him to a corner to interrogate him.

"Hao, do you like my friend?"he asked directly.

"What? N-no I-"

But he fell silent as he couldn't find a proper answer.

"Yeah, figured out so, you guys can't keep your eyes of each other seriously"

In that moment he felt so embarrassed and shy for someone catching you both like that, it wasn't something intimate but it felt like it for him. Had he been that obvious?

"Well, you'll thank me later anyways, give me your phone"

"Huh? For what?"

"Oh c'mon trust me for once!"

He extended his phone towards jay not really sure about his intentions.

"Now y'all can be all lovey dovey without hurting my eyes, you're welcome"he said while getting away

When hao saw his phone he saw y/n's phone number as a new contact on his phone, yeah he was totally extatic.

He quickly typed a message and send it to you.

-Hey there, I'm Hao :))

-Hey hao ;))

-I don't know if you felt the same but this is the first time I've ever felt a strong connection with someone, so let me take you out sometime?

-I kinda felt something special as well with you ngl, so I'd really love that <3

He had a good feeling about this ;))

°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°

f/n= friend name

o/f/n= other friend name

[my-mt-heart]

I will wait until the reunion of Caryl to decide what to think about those leaked scripts.

If the reunion tops Terminus emotionally and Caryl shows on screen how much they mean to each other, they can make the shitty script work.

Remember their reunion after Carol killed the horde. If I read those scripts I would've cried myself to sleep because what they're saying to each other can go a lot of ways and itself, sounds ridiculous.

Him giving her mask, asking if she's okay, her telling him to go home COULD BE very romantic, sad and thrilling. It depends on what they chose.

It's stated they walk together, alone. What if they're holding hands, what if they're supporting each other walk because one or both are hurt. We know what Carol sees beforehand. What if he strokes away tears from her cheeks.

What we've seen in the trailer and first episode is disappointing from a Caryl point of view BUT if they can make the reunion a firework full of emotions and letting them free of their burdens and pasts, those shitty sides COULD work. But again, we have to be patient and it's getting really annoying and frustrating. Two steps forward, one step back, as always.

There’s a big difference between being patient and being gaslit 🤷🏻‍♀️ When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The trailer and the sides show us exactly who Zabel and Nicotero are. So do their comments about Daryl being torn between two families. Yeah, the shading could be different in Caryl’s tunnel beats—why are they talking to each other without masks???—but it still leaves their relationship undefined and ambiguous.