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#i barely remember what they’re about at this point but i still woke up feeling bad
flickerbit · 1 year
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I had so many nightmares last night 😭
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katsukistofu · 2 months
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pls write more megumi!!!! i love how you wrote your recent fic ugh hes so perfecttttt
your wish is my command <3 tysm for enjoying sweetheart i’m glad you liked it ! :)
here comes the sun
contents ౨ৎ ⋆ m. fushiguro x fem reader. fluff. ★ car rides are more bearable when they’re with you.
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It’s barely five minutes into the drive and Megumi’s already thinking that Itadori needs to have his license revoked. For life.
His hand darts over to cup the side of your head with a gentle yet firm grip, almost reflexively at this point, stopping you from hurling into the sidedoor after a particularly nasty jostle, for the third curse-forsaken time in a row.
“I think you missed running over a curb back there.” Megumi says dryly in the direction of the front seat.
A cool, summer breeze ruffles his hair as he carefully readjusts your head so instead of lolling to the side, it’s resting on his shoulder. There. That should be much more comfortable for you.
“Hey!” Itadori protests, hands a bit shaky on the wheel. He’s wearing pajama pants with little Spider-mans on them. “I’ve never been in a fancy car without a roof. I’m just getting used to her, that's all.”
“Her?”
“Yeah. Donna.”
Megumi arches a brow. “You named the car.”
“I mean that’s what sensei called her.”
“…Of course he did.”
“Can you two shut up?” Nobara hisses. She’s clad in her own Powerpuff Girl pajamas and Her eyes are still covered by the pink sleep mask that came as a matching set with your pants but you gave it to her instead . “We’re trying to sleep.”
“You are. She’s been knocked out.” Itadori points at you, who’s clinging onto Megumi’s arm like a koala.
“Only because I made sure you wouldn’t wake her up with your shitty driving.” Megumi scowls, curling a protective arm around your waist as the car swerves a little too far left for his liking. His Batman pajama pants brush against your Hello Kitty ones as his thigh bumps against yours, and if you were awake he knew you’d make a joke about them kissing.
“Eyes on the road, idiot.”
Itadori huffs and turns back around to face the wheel. Thankfully you’re still snoozing away, although the way you’re nuzzling into his neck is starting to make him feel a little warm.
Maybe he should have taken his jacket off and put it on top of your blanket.
They pass a herd of cows and Megumi can’t help the upward tug of his lips, remembering your excited squeals when they passed one earlier just an hour ago, chanting ‘Gumi look, Gumi look!’
“I see them,” he had said, more focused on readjusting your seat belt that had somehow unbuckled itself.
With a grin you pointed to a pair that was grazing near a patch of berry bushes. “Those two kind of look like us.”
He finally looks up after making sure you’re safely fastened, hand still softly resting on your waist.
“You’re right, one looks like it doesn’t even know it’s eating grass.”
The pleasant memory of your giggles are drowned out and he narrows his eyes as of course, Itadori and Nobara choose that moment to crank up the radio. It’s a band he never cared for, but remembers the name of along with the lyrics to a few songs because he knows they’re your favorite.
“Turn. It. Down.” Megumi mouths at them, but it’s too late and you’re already starting to blearily open your eyes. The boy that has you tucked beside him sighs in defeat.
On your side of the car, the sun is starting to set and it casts a soft, golden glow like a blanketed halo on your cheekbones down to the tip of your nose, to your cute lips. The rays caress your face in a way he only does in the privacy of his room, with you gently pinned underneath him.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” Itadori grins, handing his phone to you. “Can you check if I’m going the right way real quick?”
You lean forward and blink against Megumi’s strong arm that’s suddenly in front of you, still half-asleep.
“Don’t tell her to do it, dipshit, she just woke up.” He glares at Itadori, taking the phone from him instead and taps the screen a few times. With his head leaning to the other side once he rests back into his seat, he wordlessly makes space for you to rest yours on his shoulder again and you do so happily.
“You were supposed to make a U-turn ten minutes ago.” Megumi deadpans as you yawn, still drowsy from your nap.
“Oh fuck.”
The four of you are finally at the picnic site, after what seems like driving for hours.
“Megumi!” You bound up to him like an overexcited puppy, and he bites back a laugh at your eagerness to show him whatever you found. “Close your eyes.”
If it was Itadori or Nobara, he would have definitely asked “Why?” before they pulled another one of their endless pranks on him but since it's you, he shuts them.
There’s a cool sensation that glides against his ear, and he realizes it’s a petal. You’re tucking a flower into his hair, you must’ve found it under the tree where they parked. His eyes flutter open and he’s met with your familiar, adoring stare that never fails to twist his stomach into knots.
“It’s a peach blossom. Pretty, um, like you.” You mumble, suddenly shy as he gazes down at you with the barest hint of a teasing smile tugging at his lips.
No one’s around, Itadori and Nobara have long gone to find the perfect spot to set down the blanket, and Megumi brushes a quick kiss to your temple.
“Thank you.”
The peace of the afternoon is short lived when he walks with you to meet up with Nobara and Itadori, who have somehow attracted a group of ducks from the nearby pond. One nips at Itadori’s butt, who narrowly manages to dodge it while Nobara is holding her Balenciaga purse high out of the feathered menaces reaches. “Stop that, this was almost two hundred thousand yen!”
Megumi rolls his eyes and barely manages to stifle a snort. He holds your own purse that he’s been carrying this whole time steady for you as you dig into it and whip a paper grocery bag out.
“I have lettuce, don't worry guys!”
His midnight blue eyes glint with fondness as they follow your figure when you bend down to feed the ducks and kindly lead them away from the food that’s sprawled out on the picnic blanket, talking to them like you would with a baby kitten.
Oh he’s going to kiss you breathless later.
Nobara and Itadori nearly fall to your feet. “Our savior!” They cry in unison and you laugh, patting them both on the back. Your best friend then gets up and smacks Itadori with the side of her bag.
“I told you we should have left the chips in the car! Those ducks could have choked to death and it’d all be your fault.”
Your other best friend pouts. “But they were pizza flavored, I wanted to savor them under the flowers!”
“Ew.” Nobara says, already shoving one of them in her mouth, and she holds another chip up to your lips for you to try. “They taste gross, right?”
You chew thoughtfully, and sneak your hand into the open bag to get a few to feed Megumi. “Hm. Could be better.”
“Yeah it's kind of lacking,” Megumi says, his soft lips brushing against your fingers as he takes his another cautious bite.
“Don’t you three say that with your mouth full!”
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So the car got towed.
Gojo’s fuming and Megumi’s pretty sure he’s going to try grounding the four of you, but with a simple bribe of his favorite zunda and cream kikufuku courtesy of your culinary skills his forgiveness is easily attainable.
He absentmindedly wonders if you knead the delicious dough you make from scratch the same way you randomly pinch his cheeks.
The glow of the passing streetlights behind him reflects in your eyes like a thousand tiny, shooting stars and when he looks into them he swears he can see the Milky Way. They’re fighting to stay open after you tiredly slump onto the train’s last empty seat, sandwiched between Nobara and Itadori’s already dozing forms who were scrolling through nail art ideas with you just moments before as he occasionally made comments when you prompted him to, “Would look cute on you” and “That color’s nice” falling from his lips. His eyes soften as he looks at you.
“Gumi…” You softly murmur and his head perks up.
“Yeah?” He leans in closer to hear you, and bites back a chuckle as you mumble something unintelligible. “It’s okay, go to sleep. I’ll stand here and watch you guys.”
“M’kay. ‘Night ‘night, love you.” Is all you whisper before passing out.
“I love you too,” Megumi mutters under his breath, low enough so that it falls on no one else’s ears in the car. You can’t hear him because you fell asleep before you could, but he doesn’t care, he says it anyway and hopes that as his words linger in the air it brings you sweet dreams.
He notices the faint goosebumps on your thighs and takes off his jacket in one swift motion to cover your lap. You’re wearing a shorter skirt than usual today, and like hell he’d let you freeze because of the train’s air conditioning.
His burning eyes flick up from your unaware, adorably blissful face to shoot a scathing glare at the man who’s been glancing your way since you got on the train, and steps closer to shield you entirely from his view. The intimidated stranger looks away quickly, and a small, victorious smirk makes it way across his lips.
That’s right you were his girl, and he’s going to make damn sure everyone knows that.
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jjkamochoso · 2 months
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Pt. 2 of Imagine… Soshiro Hoshina Finding You on the Brink of Death
Angst, Fluff
Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader
Warnings: mentions of hospital setting/devices
You can find the all angst ridden part 1 here!
One week.
That was how long it had been since Soshiro had seen your alluring (e/c) eyes, heard your infectious laugh, blushed at your gentlest smile reserved just for him. The past 7 days of you in a coma after almost becoming a kaiju meal had been devastating for him and the rest of your teammates. You had many visitors over the hours you lied completely still on your hospital bed, but you weren’t the only unmoving person in your room. Soshiro had rarely moved an inch from your side, only getting up to go to the bathroom. He couldn’t remove himself from his seat next to your fragile body in case you woke up; he couldn’t bear the thought of you being alone in such a vulnerable state anyway.
“They’re under the best care here, Hoshina. Go get some rest,” Captain Ashiro had told him on day 3, when Soshiro was sporting dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. He respectfully refused, and Mina knew better than to fight with him right now—he was as stubborn as he was talented with his swords. Every time the nurses came in to check your vitals, they looked upon him and his sad state of being with sorrow, feeling awful to see the man in such despair. They had taken it upon themselves to deliver meals for him since they all knew he wasn’t leaving to eat. Even if most of the time the tray sat untouched, they took it as a win when a pudding or fruit cup disappeared.
Day 5 was the hardest for Soshiro. By that point, he was delirious from staying up practically all night in case you needed something. His typed reports stopped making sense, his brain nowhere near as sharp as usual due to the fog of grief that had settled in his mind. The steady beeps of your life support machine haunted his every waking moment, a perfect symphony of the anguish he couldn’t escape. Thankfully, Kafka had heard about his vice captain’s condition and visited that night, offering to take over Soshiro’s watch in case you woke up. Soshiro was extremely reluctant at first, but he knew that you and Hibino were close; he also trusted the kind hearted man enough to know he’d be there for you in case something happened. With strong hesitation, Soshiro left your sight for the first time in 96 hours, heading to the shower. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn’t wash away the feelings of guilt he harbored over your injuries.
If only I was faster, stronger… I could’ve been there sooner. Stopped the kaiju from ever sinking its disgusting teeth into you. What kind of vice captain am I? What kind of… person am I? How could I ever expect them to love me back if I can’t succeed in my one job of protecting them?
He let his tears fall freely, mixing in with the water from the shower head.
Day 7 was the point where Soshiro was just… there. He barely felt anything anymore, whether it was exhaustion, anguish, or anything else. He sat next to you like normal, gazing at your chest as it sank and rose with shallow breaths, but his eyes were glazed over in a manner reminiscent of a man without hope. The doctors didn’t have an estimated time for you to wake up. With injuries as extensive as yours, there was no telling when your body would be ready to start running on its own again. Soshiro didn’t know how to process that news; he liked seeing tangible results, and the fact that you had been hooked up to all these damn machines for so long and nothing had changed? It was pure torture to him. He found himself inching closer to you, if that were even possible, and he took hold of your hand with the softest of touches.
“I miss ya, y/n,” he whispered, bringing your hand to his lips. He was careful to not disrupt the IV as he laid a gentle kiss on your cold skin, savoring the sensation of doing what had wanted to do since he first met you all those years ago.
“Remember the promise we made to each other when we were young and dumb? Now we’re old and dumb,” he chuckled humorlessly, “and you still have to keep up your end of the bargain. You have to survive. I can’t lose you.”
He took in a deep, shaky breath. “I can’t lose you because I’m in love with you.”
It was like the world was playing a cruel joke on him—he finally garnered the courage to admit he had fallen in love, but the object of his affections wasn’t able to hear it. He let his head hang in misery as he kept your hand close to his face, eventually placing it against his cheek. He closed his eyes, wishing with all his might that you would wake up. If you died… he wouldn’t know how to move on from such a devastating blow. He knew this macabre scenario had a high probability of happening in this career field you two chose, but he always had faith in his and your abilities to stay alive. To say that faith had been shaken was the understatement of the century.
“Y/n, please. I can’t do this alone. I need ya back with me. You gotta keep fighting.”
Soshiro went to place your hand back on the bed when he swore he felt your fingers move against his own. His eyes widened in surprise as his heart started slamming against his rib cage. Was that real or just his imagination?
It happened again.
And your eyes opened.
He slammed on the call button, informing the nurses of your awakening before turning his attention back to you.
“So-soshiro,” you tried to say, but your throat couldn’t form any words.
“Shh, don’t say anything, darling, I’m right here. Always have been, always will be.”
A grin swirled with anxiety and relief was present on his lips as he looked at you.
After a few hours of tests, doctors checking up on you, and small moments to collect your thoughts, you were finally able to form coherent sentences.
“You sat here the whole time? Now I feel bad,” you said, a small frown gracing your features.
“Don’t feel bad. I didn’t want you to be alone, that’s all,” Soshiro told you, nervously scratching at the back of his neck. “Did you… happen to hear anything I was saying before you woke up?”
“What, like how we’re old and dumb and that you’re in love with me?” you said, trying your best not to laugh at his shocked expression.
“Huh? You actually did hear me? I thought that only happened in movies!” he whined, his cheeks tinged with red.
“No reason to be embarrassed, Soshiro. I didn’t know how to tell you but I’m in love with you, too. I have been for a very long time.”
Soshiro was looking upon you like you had descended directly from the heavens, his eyes gleaming with unbridled joy as his fingertips danced over your arm, tracing shapes in an intimate, comforting manner.
“I‘ve been so worried about ya, sweetheart, but now that you’re back with me, it’s like I can breathe again.”
You relished in the calm quiet of the room, basking in Soshiro’s loving presence. He was exactly the driving force behind you willing your body to wake up. You could never leave him to walk this world alone.
“I also felt you kissing my hand,” you said after a long bout of silence. “That was very sweet of you.”
“Guess all I had to do was give ya true love’s kiss to wake up?” he joked, his little fangs peeking out of his lazy grin.
“I’m looking forward to my real kiss when I get out of the hospital,” you replied, attempting to wink at him.
He leaned his face over yours, his breath leaving goosebumps in its wake. “If you want, I can give you a preview of it right now.”
You felt your pulse quicken and apparently so did the heart rate monitor you were hooked up to; the machine started beeping, alerting that your numbers were abnormal.
Soshiro kissed your forehead before sitting down again, smirking. “Do I make ya nervous?”
Now it was your turn to blush. “Watch it Hoshina, or I’ll have you admitted into the bed next to me.”
Soshiro burst out in his trademark laugh, grabbing at his stomach and wiping away the tears forming in his eyes. You could be given all the medicine known to man but nothing could make you feel better than the promise of being loved by the easily amused violet haired man who will never leave your side.
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yourdeepestfathoms · 1 month
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The you have any headcanon about Perrine and The Croon?
Perrine has an affinity for skulls because of The Croon, and they’re mainly the reason why she likes to collect them
The Croon refers to her as “calf”
Perrine sometimes catches glimpses of a tall figure out of her window at night, standing among the distant trees, hidden by just enough shadow to make her wonder if she’s just seeing things
The Croon gifts her skulls, bones, and small dead animals
When people say The Croon is evil, she’s the first to jump to its defense
However, Perrine does have a healthy dose of fear for The Croon
She doesn’t know why this is
But there’s always a level of wariness she feels towards it
There was this one night…
It was cold. The wind was blowing. Branches brushing against the cottage were like clawing fingers on the walls, desperate to get inside.
Perrine woke up.
Or maybe she had never fallen asleep in the first place.
She couldn’t remember.
It didn’t matter.
She got up from her bed.
All around her, the moonlight bleeding in through her window pooled ghoulishly into the empty black eyes of her animal skulls.
It felt like they were all watching her.
At first, she had gotten up to get a glass of water. Her mouth was dry, and the space behind her eyes was uncomfortably warm. But at the same time, she was covered in goosebumps.
But then, she found herself drawn outside.
Grass crunched under bare feet.
She didn’t even flinch from the cold.
Like she was in some kind of trance, she found herself delving into the woods.
And then, she saw it.
The towering beast of feathers and bone. It stood among the trees, nearly obscured by darkness.
The Croon.
She was scared.
She wasn’t sure why she was scared. She based her whole image around this beast, after all. She wore the moose mask because of it.
And yet…she trembled.
And then, she spoke.
“What’s the point of you?”
She asked it without thinking. It was a question that had been brewing in her head for ages.
“I mean…you embody and represent chaos…”
The Croon tilted their head for a moment, as if considering the question. The quiet night air was tense.
“Chaos…is beautiful and destructive. It’s everywhere, and it’s all-consuming. It doesn’t need any apparent purpose. It merely is. It destroys and makes and changes…over and over again. That is what I represent. Change is necessary. Everything must die, and from the destruction, something new is born. After a wildfire, flowers will bloom from the ashes.”
“But people like the flowers. Not the fire.”
“Perhaps. But they need the fire. They need the chaos and the change. Even if it destroys them. There is no new life without death, and there is no death without chaos.”
“But, you still destroy things. Why can’t you have something new without destruction? Why change?”
“Destruction..is just part of the cycle. It’s a part of change. There is beauty in decay. Death and destruction can be…art. The changing of the seasons, the wilting of flowers, the withering fall leaves… Even the most positive change is destruction for something else. Destruction and chaos are required for rebirth, for evolution. Because of change, everything is different, and everything is unique. There are no two things that are exactly the same, down to the last detail.”
“My friend, Cole, lost their parents in a horrible way. Is that supposed to be beautiful? Or necessary?”
“…Perhaps not. Not all destruction is beautiful or necessary. But not all death is cruel or senseless either. After all…without death, would you appreciate life at all? When an animal dies, and it decomposes, the earth gains the nutrients it gives to grow new flowers and new grass. New life. Even a death as horrible and cruel as that can still give new life to the plants and earth around it. It is the same with humans. A death, even a cruel and horrible one, can lead to new life for the remaining family or loved ones…or to the end of a destructive, hurtful cycle.”
“Cole has suffered since their parents’ death. There was no hurtful cycle to break! It’s not fair!”
“Death isn’t fair.”
Its voice had dropped to a low, almost guttural growl that shook her to the bones. But its empty eye sockets still held an eerie sense of calm.
“Life…isn’t fair. People die. Families are torn apart, homes and villages are destroyed. It’s the nature of the world. It’s a necessary evil.”
“…I don’t want to be a necessary evil.”
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deepdisireslonging · 7 months
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Ready for Tomorrow
The Reader finds out who brought her home after her binge. She regrets getting drunk at all, but things work out for the better. Much much better.
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Warnings/Promises: alcohol discussion, angst, fluff, smut (trifecta!)
Word Count: 3540
Note: Here is part 2 of the commission I received. I tried to squeeze in as much heartfelt emotion into this part as I could. Let me know how I did, and happy reading!
Part 1: Replacing the Regrets
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Quietly, you reached into your nightstand for your throwing knives. Your blood ran cold.
They weren’t there.
As footsteps approached your door, the worst options of who could be on the other side of the wood swirled in your head. You didn’t feel drugged. But you had plenty of enemies whose real faces you didn’t know by sight. None of them should know where you lived. Henchmen and mob bosses could have found out. Unless you told them while drunk.
You kind of hoped it was Dick about to walk in. You had been careless.
As the doorknob turned, you slid to the side of the bed, ready to jump and defend yourself.
“Mornin’, sunshine. How’s your head?”
“Jason?”
His hair, ruffled from sleeping in who knows what tangled position on your couch, barely covered up how his eyebrows shot up. “Yeah? Who did you think brought you home, Sweetheart?” His focus shifted to not spilling anything on the tray in his hands. So, he had made you breakfast. And when your answer wasn’t forthcoming, he eyed you again before placing it in your lap. “You don’t remember? Anything?” He chuckled, unsurprised. “Wow. You were ‘out’ out. Don’t know why I’m surprised, considering how you acted last night.”
You swallowed thickly. “How- how did I act last night?”
“Clingy. Crying. To your credit, you only threw up once. And it was in the bushes before we made it to the bike.”
“You brought me home on your bike!”
He shrugged. “Didn’t want to leave it there. And I’m not positive a cab would have come even if I called one.” Handing you a fork, he eyed you again. “That was… an interesting part of town you were in. What made you go there?”
Instead of answering, you let your thoughts congeal while taking a bite of your breakfast. He had remembered your favorite fare. “I- The only good thing about that side is that people don’t usually ask questions when a girl wants to drink alone.” You took a sip of coffee, nearly choking on how strong it was. “Clingy and crying. That’s not too bad.”
“Nah. And I’m used to it.”
The guilt turned your bones to magma, making you wish you could melt through the floor. All of those conversations about his mother and having to clean up after her hit you hard. The weight of him crying into your shoulder when she was gone. Missing her even after everything she had put him through. Knowing that you had made him relive any of that, even to a small degree, made your heart ache. When you tried to fumble through an apology, he waved it away. Still, you pressed on. Even when he took your fork and started feeding you between sentences.
“Really, it’s fine.”
“But- you shouldn’t have to be used to it. Not from me.”
“Let it go.”
Biting back further attempts, you drank your coffee. “Did- did you find my failed date?”
Jason smiled, making his dimples shine. “Yeah. Dick got to him just as the muggers arrived. Your description of that creep was accurate.” He looked at your nightstand. “You got a funny way of going straight-edge. Or are you just anti-meds now?”
“No. I didn’t know how I got home, or with whom. Wasn’t going to take anything suspicious.” You crossed your arms with a pout. “You could have left a note.”
He frowned. “I did. It’s-” Where he pointed was only bare wood. With a little searching, he found the note behind the stand. “Ah. That explains your confusion. And your knives are in the kitchen. I didn’t want to get stabbed if I brought breakfast before you woke up.” He nodded at the little round assistants. “You can take the pills now.”
“So, they’re not contraband raided from one of your side hustles?”
“No. They’re from the pharmacy around the corner. Since I couldn’t find your personal stache.”
“It was behind the bathroom mirror,” you said, swallowing them down.  
With a bluster, he whined, “I thought I looked there!” Grumbling, he sat on the edge of your bed. “How long have you been awake?”
“A few minutes before you dropped something. And what was the loud noise before that? Sounded like a gunshot.”
“I – uh. I had a little trouble with your gas stove.”
You paused. “Jason. Did you blow up my kitchen?”
“No!”
You failed to hide a smile behind your coffee cup at his rushed answer.
“No. Nothing’s singed. Everything is fine.”
“Uh-huh.” You finished your breakfast in silence while Jason felt your forehead. “Jay? I’m- I am really sorry about calling you. Not- not calling you because I was in- in trouble but calling you… calling you while I was- while I was like that. I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk.” You sighed. “I shouldn’t have gotten drunk at all. Or at least had a plan of who to call instead of all of you.” With a wince, you ran a hand over your face. “How did Cass react?”
A warm smile passed across his face. “She was in the middle of beating up some loons by the docks when you called. Let you go to voicemail, then checked in with Dick to make sure you were okay. While he rescued the guy, I came to get you. But Cass texted me a few hours ago that she’s saved your message for posterity.”
“Shit.”
After putting the tray on the floor, he slid into bed next to you. “Wanna know something funny?”
“What?”
“Tim didn’t get your call either. Alfred grounded him. And the kiddo was actually asleep when you phoned.”
You laughed, high and free. “No way. How many hours?”
“Last I heard, he’s still asleep.”
“Geeze.” Giggling, you relaxed into Jason’s side. His arm stretched behind your neck, giving him the perfect reach to trail his fingers over your shoulder. You breathed in silence, relishing having Jason’s weight beside you. “I’ve missed this.”
He pressed his face to yours, poking his indefinitely cold nose into your temple. “Me too.” For a second, he squeezed you closer. “You could always come back, ya’ know. The Bat has been telling us about what you’ve been doing in the office. But it sounds mind-numbingly boring. You don’t even have to join the Bat crew again. You could just work with me.”
It was a friendly offer. But how could you tell him that the last thing you wanted was to dodge bullets again? You couldn’t tell him that even the thought of it made your lungs stutter. Being the Oracle equivalent for Jason sounded like a good way to hear and watch every possible bad thing happen to him. Knowing what was going on in Gotham’s underworld was one thing. You’d seen enough. But you wouldn’t be able to help him, not like he would truly need. That realization burned your stomach. Instead, you deflected. In the worse way possible. “Why’d you bring me back here? Why aren’t we at your place?”
With a groan, he left your side.
You caught his hand. “It’s because it’s not safe, isn’t it? What have you gotten yourself into this time?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.” He picked up the tray. “Get some rest.”
“No, Jay. We need to talk about this.” You gingerly slid out of bed to follow him into the kitchen. You hated to ask, but you offered anyway. “If you need help, maybe there’s something I can do from-“
He let the tray clatter onto your countertop. “This isn’t something you can fix from the office. What I’m doing, what I’ve always done… it’s hands on, eyes open in the dark. No hiding behind paperwork or feigning legitimacy in the daytime.” With a groan, he steadied himself. He did his best to keep his voice level at you while still being angry at Bruce’s way of things. “It’s okay that you left the field. You’re doing good work right where you are. But I can’t operate that way.”
“You think I’m hiding?”
Jason frantically shook his head. “No. Not at all. It’s just-“
“Well maybe I am.” A sniffle shuddered out before you could stop it. “I am bored in that office. There’s not a single person I can connect with. The paperwork is mind-numbing. Do you think that’s all I want? I loved being in the field. I loved working with my team. But- it became too much. Always watching my back. Always on high alert any time I was in public, in gear or in civilian clothes. There were times I didn’t know who I was anymore. Every thought I had, and sometimes I still have, sounded, and felt like Batgirl. All the time. Every call or text needed an immediate action response. I wanted- I needed a break. I wanted to be able to breathe without the pain of some fight or another. But now that I’ve got it… I feel so lost. I never knew if you guys were whole or bleeding. Every second of the news is something terrible. One country falling or another. Murders, climate change, bureaucratic corruption. It got so heavy, Jason.” You covered your face with your hands, your voice small. “It’s still so heavy. I thought it would be out of sight, out of mind this way, but it’s not. But I can’t- I can’t go back. Everything we did felt like three steps back.”
The tears were flowing hot down your cheeks. Maybe if you cried enough, you could float away on them like Alice to Wonderland. Your breath stuttered as Jason embraced you. You shook in his arms. The weight of what you said, what you had done to him and to the team didn’t leave. But the way he held you tight felt like he was helping you hold it up, making the load a little lighter. You leaned into his chest further, but tilting up your face so you could breathe.
Then he kissed your forehead, making you freeze. Gasping, you struggled not to sound breathy, and failed. “What was that for?” You waited countless seconds for his answer.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
When he tried to step back, you clung to his shirt. You pulled him closer. “But – it felt good. It made- it made everything… quiet.”
Above you, he swallowed. “Would- would you like me to do it again?”
You nodded. “Yes, please.”
His lips pressed gently to the same spot as before. While you inhaled, breathing in the relaxation it brought, Jason took hold of your hands. He held them to his chest, willing you to feel his thundering heartbeat under your fingertips. With his thumbs over your wrists, he could feel your pulse racing.
Panting, he whispered, “do you just want to be held? I can do that. We – we don’t have to—”
“If I say I want this…” you ran your nose under his jawline, “can we – can we do this?”
He nodded fervently. “Yeah. Do you want this?”
“Yes. I – I need this.” You kissed behind his ear. “Do you want this?”
“Yes. I have since – I want to make you feel… needed. Just for being you. Not for your mission seasoned body. Not for your case-solving brain. You. Because you are enough.”
Tears pricked behind your eyes. “Thank you.”
He grinned against your forehead. “I haven’t started yet.”
Cheeky bastard.
Still, you smiled into his neck as he lifted you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, he carried you back into your bedroom. He laid you down gently. Inhaling softly, he ran his nose along the side of your face. “How’s your head?”
“No complaints yet.”
Jason exhaled a laugh. “Good to know. For later, maybe. But for now,” he trailed off as his hands ghosted up your sides, under your shirt. The fabric remained mostly in place; a promise to go as slow as you wanted.
You placed your hands over his, guiding the fabric of your shirt further up until Jason helped you remove your top. A few more movements and you were bare to him. He did his best not to stare, but his lingering gaze made your skin warm all the same. His hands fumbled to remove his clothes and remaining pieces of gear. Surprisingly steady, your hands did most of the work. He sucked in a breath as your fingers trailed over his skin, as your nails dragged over his muscles. And as your fingerprints brushed over his scars. He caught your exploring hand in his. Jason caught your gaze with his as he raised your hand to his lips, kissing over your knuckles.
“Do you still want to do this-“
“Yes. Please, Jason.” You leaned back into the sheets, arching your chest forward. Hiding a smile, you let your eyes close… just so you could suavely open them. When you did, you watched as his mouth parted for a silent gasp. His tongue darted out to wet his lips before he dove to kiss you. It wasn’t a kiss like you had become accustomed to: one to pin you down and claim you before some guy you didn’t care about took you. This kiss was warm, making your heart swell with what Jason said with each passing second of having his lips on yours.
For a perceived eternity, that was all he did: kiss you. Your mouth. The tops of your cheeks. Your breath stuttered when he tilted his head to kiss under your jaw and then down your neck. His hands smoothed across your arms and waist. It smoothed out the trepidation of the life you had chosen. All that mattered in this moment was that you had chosen him. And he had chosen you. Damn what the morning might bring. He was yours. Right now. Holding you and kissing you like the world could end any second and you would be the last wonderful thing on his mind. It made you drip for him when his hands finally wandered lower. The way his open mouth stuttered against your skin, and how his grip tightened on your waist, told you he wanted to ravage you. Still, he held back.
“Don’t- don’t wait. Please,” you begged. “I need you.”
Gently, you guided him to slot his body between your spread thighs.
“But- prep?”
“I need you.”
With a growl into your hair, he took his time sinking into you. Even then, when fully sheathed, he waited for you to catch your breath. As if you could when he was looking at you like he wanted to remember you this way forever. How you were spread out for him. Full of him. And begging and keening for more. How your body quaked and writhed, your voice already hoarse while pleading for him to move.
Jason kissed your forehead, keeping his lips pressed against your fevered skin. He dragged out, making his own mouth drop open to feel your walls unwilling to let him go. His name fell from your lips like an answered prayer as he found a rhythm. You gripped at him wherever you could.
Was this what it felt like? To be really wanted? Not just a fling, not just a one-night stand or means to an end. But wholly, truly desired?
It took your breath away.
“Where’d you go?”
You looked up and your view filled with Jason’s concerned face. “Nowhere. Just –” How could you put it into words? With the way life had been going lately… a tightness in the back of your throat stole your words.
Jason smoothed his thumb down your cheek and down your nose. “Hey. I know that face. I need you to know something.” His thumb continued its ministrations, while the hand on your hip squeezed you reassuringly. “You are an amazing friend. And an amazing woman. I know you feel unseen. Like you’re moving through life as a ghost until someone needs or wants something from you. You see more than people give you credit for. And you carry too much in that big heart of yours.” His voice softened. “You don’t have to carry it alone.”
“But your night life-“
“What about it?” He kissed your forehead. “Let the rest of the Bat-crew worry about that for the next forty-eight. Right now… all I’m thinking about is you.” As he leaned closer to breathe warm air over your pulse point, he speared you deeper. It made you gasp. As did the tender kiss he placed on your shoulder.
“More, please.” Even though tears pricked at your eyes. Even though you could barely breathe. You dug your nails into his back to hold him close enough that he couldn’t see your face. “Keep- keep talking. Please, Jason-”
With a groan and fighting off the desire to fill you right then, he continued. “I want to be the only reason why your pulse rushes. Why your breath hitches like that. And now that I’ve got you,” he nuzzled his nose under your ear with a growl you could feel to your toes, “I’m never letting you go.”
You hiccupped a sob. It made him stop. You tried to tell him to keep going, but Jason held back from every cell of his being wanting to plow you into the bed.
“If you want, we can stop. We don’t have to do this tonight. We can just hold each other if that’s what you need.” He began to move away, but you scrambled to hold him close. Jason melted into your touch. He hummed, “what do you need? Hmm? Tell me, baby girl. What do you want?”
You shuddered all over. “I don’t want to think. Please.”
He speared you again. And again. Until all you could fathom was the sensation of him inside you and clinging to you. His lips murmured soothing, wonderful things against your skin. Making your hips stutter in their pace frantic to match him. Jason’s breath hissed out between his teeth, and his hands gripped your hips tight, dragging you towards him. He was desperate. Desperate to feel your body sucking him in. Desperate to hear your broken cries and how you whimpered his name. He was desperate to feel you cum.
“What do you need, Sweetheart? I’m here. Cum for me, come on. Let go.”
Within a few more thrusts of his hips, it was all you could do. You cried out his name, your vision blurring. Digging your heels into his lower back, you did your best to keep him as deep as possible. Your desperation, and your release, dragged Jason down with you. His mouth fell open on your shoulder, barely managing to moan your name before his body seized. His pace stuttered; overwhelmed but seeking out those last few bursts of pleasure. When neither of you could stand another spark, he fell beside you.
You shivered as he curled you into his chest.
That would have been enough. You would have happily fallen asleep, despite the mid-morning light wanning into afternoon.
“You know I meant it all, right?”
“Hmm?” Struggling, you managed to reopen your eyes.
“I meant every word.” Jason ran his thumb down the curve of your nose. “You are amazing. And you don’t have to do this alone. You don’t just have me. You’ve got the whole crew if you need us. Don’t let yourself stress yourself into another binge. Call me. Or any of us. Okay?” When you sighed positively, he smiled against your forehead. “Catch some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. And we’ll figure this crazy life out. Together. One day at a time. Alright?”
“Alright,” you hummed, finally drifting off.
That nap was the best sleep you’d had in months. When you woke up, you felt weightless. The earlier mid-morning light from your first wake-up had softened to a mid-afternoon glow. You didn’t care one ounce that your sleep schedule was probably screwed. Screwed, heh. With a smile, you inhaled deeply and stretched, pleasantly sore in all the right places. The blankets were warm as you snuggled back under them.
Jason’s arm wrapping around your hip nearly startled you out of your skin.
“What?” he rasped. His post-nap voice was exquisite. “Did you think I’d really leave my girl before she woke up?”
You bit your lip. “Your girl?” Under his surprised gaze, you shrunk further into the bed.
“Mhmm. Every day from here on out. Like I said. We’re going to figure out this crazy life together. But first,” he dragged you close to kiss the curve of your neck. “I’m starved.”
“Oh?”
Jason had absolutely meant something else. But when your eyes glittered, his smile turned ravenous. You ran your fingers through his hair, splitting his white streak into several strands.
Then your stomach growled.
He laughed deeply, his whole body shaking. “Alright, come on. Now I get to cook you some dinner.”
You let him tug you out of bed. His warm wrists dragged you through your own apartment. The upcoming week and its issues weren’t a blip in your mind. No matter what the Gotham life threw next, you had everything you’d ever need to conquer it.
***
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anlian-aishang · 10 months
Note
For the practice drabble thingie, Sweat/Scent kink? 👁️ 👁️
I just. k n o w. I have this headcanon that Levi always uses baby/scented powder to avoid sweating so much on expeditions/missions, but maybe one day he just runs out of it or rushes out of his room, so Levi gets flustered or self-conscious for the rest of the day or smth, idk I don’t think he would smell **that much**, but… still, he smells pretty masculine, yknow?👁️👁️
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Tags: levi x reader [mutual pining], sfw [but fetish-based material], sweat & scent stuff, canonverse, gn!reader Word count: 2700 A/N: Holy hell, thank you, this is exactly what I wanted. nsfw sequel is in the works <3
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It was his fucking day off. 
Levi was the most cautious when it came to anticipation. Sights no one should have to see had scarred him to the point of learning: if you never got your hopes up, nothing could let you down. That thought rained on most of his parades, but he supposed there was little letdown to be had when it came to the likewise little things. On returns from expeditions, he allowed himself to look forward to the removal of his heavy gear and tight belts. When the smell of fresh-baked bread wafted through the barracks, he let his tongue salivate and his stomach sing. Today would have been his first day off in - he couldn’t even remember - god knows how long. Last night, his stagnant stoicism seemed to float away, head in clouded daydream of how to make this day perfect.
But some days weren’t meant to be perfect.
Instead of birds chirping and the first rays of sunlight that Levi anticipated, it was a series of harsh knocks at the hour of indigo sky that woke him up. Levi startled out of sleep, snapping up with a breathless gasp.  
In hindsight, maybe he should’ve said nothing, maybe then they would’ve left him alone. However, being woken suddenly, though a common occurrence, almost always meant disaster in the Scouts. His voice cracked a barely audible “W’What?” No response. Levi coughed and cleared his throat, the return of his scathing tone, “What?”
The knob swiveled. His door creaked. In the shadows of dawn stood a domineering, a commanding, six-foot figure. The leisurely pace with which he entered the room conveyed that there was no life-or-death emergency, and thus no good reason, for having barged in here on his day off. Levi rolled his eyes and scowled, “I didn’t say ‘come in.’”
Erwin ignored his remark and instead cut to the chase. “Supply transports were raided in Trost.”
His mind already set in vacation mode, it was remarkable how quickly his knowledge of the restock had left him, “What?”
“Tug-of-war with the Garrisons and MPs, scouring over the leftover scraps of the materials that were supposed to be.”
“The hell do the MPs need anything for?”
“I’m headed to the capital to find out.”
Too tired to think - let alone attempt - to disguise his confusion. Levi’s brows arced, lips parted as he tried to piece together what the hell this had to do with him. When it dawned, his trademark pout revived. 
“...No.”
“So you’ll take my stand, running morning drills in -” Erwin checked his pocket watch - “twenty minutes.”
“I’m off today.” Levi refuted. “Get Miche or Hange to do it.”
“They’re coming with me.” Erwin’s eyes were dead set, nearly offended, don’t you know I’ve thought of this already? “Unless, of course, you want to make the trip.”
To yak with the higher-ups? He would sooner crawl through mud.
Though he was given a choice, he took pity at his situation: “Bullshit…” Levi cursed beneath his breath, his version of whining.
Impatient, Erwin tapped his foot, “Are you going to get up or would you like to sit here and talk about our feelings?” The commander’s voice was starkly monotone, despite the sarcasm dripping in his statement.
Levi could play that card, too. “Are you going to leave or are you just here to watch my bare ass roll out of bed?”
Right. Erwin turned on his heel, door slammed in his wake. 
His impulse was to throw his head back on his pillow and an arm over his face, but twenty minutes - he didn’t even have the time for that. Levi bunched his sheets in his hands, so angry that his fists trembled, and swiveled his legs over the edge of his bed. A pang of nausea and a sharp headache, his body was pissed at him for the violent disruption of his sleep cycle. Levi held his forehead in hand and shook, blame eyebrows, not me. 
Levi’s limbs felt heavy, like he had just come indoors from a rainstorm. Clouds of colorful swears and harsh grunts propelled him through his morning routine. A three-minute shower, trimming his bangs, toothpaste and mouthwash followed by tea. One of many identical uniforms was laid out on his dresser, but before that…
From head to toe - undercut nape, under the arms, the shelf of his pecs, between his thighs, and finally his feet - Levi always applied a handful of drying agent. At this time of year, headquarters could seriously reek, and Levi refused to contribute to that filth. Pressing his lips together and stifling a yawn, he turned the container upside down. Lips parted, though, when nothing fell out. 
Shake. Shake shake.
A blockage, a clump, maybe? But there was no sound. The slightest of twitches in his fingers as Levi delicately, anxiously, twisted off the cap and peered inside. 
That’s right. He had made a mental note yesterday, that part of his day off would be dedicated to visiting the market, buying tea leaves, some new briefs, and his astringent powder - all items he was too mortified to order through the Corps. Given the thieving that had just happened, it was not like those supplies would’ve arrived anyway, but now, he would not have the freedom to go out and get them. 
With the jar completely open, he considered a few shakes in vain, but the bottle was so empty that he could see the reflection of his dark-circled eyes in the bottom of it. Levi allowed himself a heavy, exasperated sigh as he set the empty vessel back on his bathroom countertop just to loudly smack it into the trash can. Fucking shit. 
At least he had showered, but peering out the window and onto the training grounds, he could already see waves of heat radiating off the pavement. Come noon, it would be far worse. Clock ticking, for now, his only solution was to cut down on layers. It was then that he realized how little leniency the uniform lent. Gritting his teeth, Levi reluctantly left his top drawer shut, forgoing his undershirt and underwear. Walking past his mirror, his reflection caught his own eyes: his ivory skin barely yet noticeably peeking through the buttons of his grey shirt. Goddammit, he ripped the brown, canvas coat off its hanger and crossed it tight across his chest. To the harmony of his soles on wooden floor, his inner voice melodized: Could an outfit be both breathable and modest?
Levi could not bring himself to abandon his cravat, so instead of tying it beneath his collar, he let it sling out his back pocket, at the ready to grasp for when he needed to wipe his sweat away. That moment was inevitable, but he preferred not to think about it. He ran his fingers through his hair, base of his hand lingered on his widow’s peak, grinding pressure away like a mortar and pestle. Whatever, he tried to assure himself, as long as no one was around… 
At first, he thought he might manage. If they got close enough, they would surely notice the glimmer shining upon his skin. However, by terse orders and points of his fingers, he had maintained a perpetual distance from the hoard of trainees. He was more of a hands-on kind of teacher, opting to join them as they ran laps or learned to grapple through trees. Today, though, he was standing in the shade several yards from the action. If anyone gave him shit for lazying aside, he had an excuse in that he wasn’t even supposed to be on-call today anyways. However, perhaps because he looked particularly irritable and scary, no one dared question his bystanding.
Then came you.
“Levi?”
It was the first time you had ever seen startle on the captain. A simultaneous, steep flinch in each of his shoulders. Hairs stood on end, he whipped his gaze around, “What? What’re you doing here?”
The sight of panic on someone so fearless, it caused you to fret by proxy. “I - I uh…” You had never second-guessed him before, you had never had to. “I’m covering for -”
“Erwin?” 
You knit your hands behind your back, a sheepish grin, “He said you’d need help. You know, given the heat…”
Levi crossed his arms and bit the inside of his cheek. How shitty could that oaf be? The truth was that this heat was getting to everyone, yet in his fluster, Levi was sure that not only Erwin knew about his secret susceptibility, but that he had spilled it to the last person Levi wanted to know. No words seemed adequate for response, so instead, he kicked his foot against the barrack wall, leaned back, and deferred to silence.  
Something was off, your eyes darted in search for it. His cheeks had been tainted a light red. Luckily, you chalked it up to the temperature, though Levi knew that was not the sole factor. His hair was slicker than its usual light-and-airy allure, you figured he had just gotten out of the shower. That was true, but this damp was sweat, not soap. Your gaze started to descend down his body, and on the way, you noticed it: no cravat. 
A dog without a collar. A missing puzzle piece. Mildly irksome yet disproportionately intriguing. It was like he had read your mind, the mocking timing with which he reached back into his pocket and lifted the cloth to his forehead, sighing and swiping. After a couple wringing flicks of his wrist, he folded it and shoved it inside the lining of his tan jacket. His left hand tucked it away, hidden, while his right hand lifted the coat away from his chest, granting him the space to do so. Again, his own state snagged his attention - the dark, drenched patch of fabric at his underarm jumped out like a bug on a wall. Fiercely, he snatched his jacket shut again, praying to whatever was out there that you had not seen. 
And though you had not seen the soak of his shirt, his odd behavior was garnering more and more of your attention. Cruelly, that made him sweat even more: not only the sun’s rays, but the blaze of your stare burning onto his skin. He cursed the thickness of his leather boots, the ODM gear that strapped his clothing tight to his skin, the turn of events that had brought you to this moment, his stupid genetics, and his even stupider feelings for you. Thoughts spiraling, humidity could mess with him in ways that titans could not.
If you thought hard about it, you may have realized that his humidity induced the same haze in you. Bangs glued to his forehead. Chest rose high and fell deep - combined with his light panting - made your brain boggle. Now and then, a clear bead of sweat would fall from his temple, down his jawline and neck, before disappearing down his collar - where you noticed that his top button was uncharacteristically undone. 
The loud pop! as he uncorked his canteen broke both of your thirsts. Head tilted far back, Adam’s apple deliciously bobbed as he gulped down his water. Lips absentmindedly fallen, your eyes drank as he did. 
Levi recognized, pretending that he hadn’t noticed your stare had thus far failed to shake it. He scoffed internally: someone could use some self-awareness, he was literally dripping with it. With a straight-on side-eye, he maintained eye contact as he gradually lowered the canteen from his lips, only to thrash it and splash it upwards into his own face. Still, you gaped like an idiot. Finally, Levi decided: if you were going to be this indulgent, he would be, too. Maybe then, you’d realize. Levi thumbed a leaking drop from the corner of his mouth. After briefly sucking the digit dry, his tongue snuck between his lips to slowly lick them clean. 
Stone-cold steel eyes and his soft pink tongue - that was what it took to break your concentration. Immediately, you snapped your gaze down to your toes and silently mouthed sorry. 
Despite the heat, shivers somehow managed to seize his figure. With your gaze averted, you thankfully missed them. However, when you no longer had your sight to rely on, other senses instinctively took over. Particularly, scent: aged sandalwood, burnt charcoal, bitter tea. On the training grounds, these smells did not come naturally. And if it were anyone else, you may have cringed at the combination of scents, but upon realization of the one and only source of this musk, you felt your middle warm with inexplicable satisfaction. 
Meanwhile, he was squirming: fuck, how badly he wanted to hit the showers. If Erwin had left this assignment to him, he had every right to leave it to the next person. The thing was, that next person was you, the blinking, doe-eyed, fresh promotion who hardly knew their blades from their gas. If you were anyone else, he could see himself saying: take this cash, head to the square and stop at this stand, buy the tallest bottle they have and bring it back to me. Say a word, you’re dead. 
But you were the entire reason he strove to keep this secret under wraps. To give you such orders would essentially be a confession, erasing the whole point. Between a rock and a hard place, Levi stood frozen in fever. 
The air was thick with moisture and silence. With each breath, the memory of that canteen escapade and his intensifying aura seemed to suffocate you. Internally, he was simmering over how to shoo you away from his disgusting sorry state. On the other hand, you were parsing over how to excuse yourself without being rude. 
The 10:00 bell rang, you used it to craft a feigned excuse, “If you’ve got things under control -”
“I do.” In some ways, he did. In others, absolutely not. 
“- I’m supposed to help mess out with lunch.”
Levi knit his brows, seemed unlikely, but he would not object. With a slight flick of his head, his gesture released you from post and encouraged you inside.
At the door frame and with his back turned, you could not help but take one last look. At his last end and assuming you had departed already, he finally shouldered that Scouts jacket off, revealing his light-grey button up having turned dark with his sweat. His fist clutched his collar and fanned ferociously, allowing his skin to breathe. Inaudible to the other, you both simultaneously reprieved, “Fuck me…”
At 11 on the dot, Levi and the platoon of morning athletes were in the cafeteria line. So what if it meant they called it quits prematurely? Inside, no one was complaining. Levi was relieved that he did not find you there, hopeful that you were in your room avoiding heat stroke, and oddly satisfied to have correctly suspected your “cafeteria-duties” bluff earlier. 
Levi looked like he had been rained on then dunk-tanked. At least, that was how his squad put it, jeering and elbowing, “What happened to you out there?”
They didn’t want to know. He didn’t want them to know. Most of all, he would rather forget this day ever happened. He took his steel tray and made for his room to eat in private - but more importantly, to shower again.  
The venture back to his quarters seemed to drag - maybe it was because the dampness of his clothes had weighed him down, or maybe it was because the empty, lone quiet of the halls allowed his consciousness to echo loud and clear: humiliating, huh? 
He could not deny that it was fucking humiliating, but for as scathing as the memory of that embarrassment was, the recollection of your rose-colored stare was just as impactful. All along, he had feared that if you witnessed his weakness to heat - more so the sweat and stench that came with it, it would have sent you running the other direction. Self-doubt suggested: they did end up running, though. That mess-hall excuse, them being them, they were probably trying not to offend you as they took cover from your reek. Self-confidence objected, but remember the way they looked at you? Don’t play dumb. You know that look anywhere. They like you - and hell - maybe they liked it.
On his doormat, a tall white bottle and a handwritten note confirmed the latter.
Seemed like you were missing something… …not that I think you need it. - (Y/N)
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// masterlist //
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yourlocalmerchgirl · 3 months
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Hi there! I saw your post and was wondering if I could request a Bucky AU story featuring a soft, protective Bucky with the reader. Thanks so much! ❤️
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Let me take the pain away
Bucky Barns x F!reader
Thank you Anon for this request! I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. 🫶🫶
Warnings: small SHIELD cross over/ spoiler. Mentions of reader being kidnapped/ tortured by hydra. Protect Bucky. Soft Bucky. Angsty Bucky. No use of Y/N. Not a lot of physical descriptions of reader
“Do you think you’re ready to talk about what happened?” Your therapist asks.
Your leg bounces rapidly, you knew you couldn’t get away without talking about it forever. It’s been a month, she was generous not to push before now.
“I can try” you breathe out, your head hung low.
“How about we start with some details you remember.”
“Honestly, a lot of the details are fuzzy. I lost pretty big chunks of time”
“It’s a natural reaction for your body to completely shut down and go into survival mode”
“I remember waking up in an abandoned wear-house restrained to a chair. I have no idea how long I was there or how long I’d been out…. Ward and a few people I’d never seen before appeared. I always had a bad feeling about him but I never thought he would have been a part of Hydra.”
“They….they wanted me to give up secret tech the Avengers use. Wanted to know where all the hideouts are, all the safe houses and planes.”
Deep Breath
“When I wouldn’t give them the info…they….they proceeded to try to scare me into it and when that didn’t work. They tortured me. I was in and out of consciousness. I-I have no idea how many days it went on. It could have been days or weeks, they barely gave me food or water. After a certain point i just remember coming too briefly in Visions arms as we were flying. When I woke up again I was in my bed with a finger monitor on.”
“How have you been healing?”
“They told me that Hydra had put a chip in my neck. To try to track where they were moving my body… to try to find out about locations of different head quarters. Apparently it was sharp and placed by my jugular so that it could finish me off if they needed. Antman had to shrink down and go in an incision to help Bruce get it out because it was a dangerous surgery.”
“The scar from that is healing and the rest of my broken bones and cuts are healing, but I was so scared… I’m still so scared.” You say, tears starting to stream down your face.
“I’ll stop you there and we can pick this up next week, you’re making real progress that you should be proud of.”
—————————————————————
-The day they found you-
“Let me see her!” Bucky shouted
“She’s going into surgery, you shouldn’t see her like this” Tony pressed
“Why wouldn’t you tell all of us that she was even found?”
“Because we didn’t and still don’t know if she’s going to make it”
“Well then let me see her if she’s not going to make it!”
“They can’t stop the surgery, it’s very dangerous and if the smallest move is done wrong she will die on the spot. So please just go sit down”
“Goddamnit Stark don’t talk to me like I’m a child, when my best friend is fucking dying” Bucky snarls as he pushes a bunch of papers off the table.
“Get a hold of yourself Bucky!” Tony shouts after him as he’s walking away.
“I’ll go talk to him Tony, he’s just worried. You do understand that right?” Steve says going after him.
Steve finds Bucky pacing outside of the compound.
“He’s something else you know that! The fact that they moved most of us here, didn’t tell us they found her and then just showed up with her. And then expect none of us are going to want to see her, it’s fucking bull shit Steve”
“I know, trust me I get it Bucky. But I understand them not wanting to get our hopes up. She’s in really bad shape, she’s on her death bed. They’re just trying to do what they can as quickly as they can”
Bucky let’s out a groan, raking his hands over his face.
“I love her…” Bucky says looking over at Steve.
“And the thought of not being able to tell her that….I don’t know if I’ll recover from that, from losing her.”
——————————————————————
Back to present day
“You should be making her come out here if she wants to eat. She can’t just keep hiding in her room. You also should stop sleeping on a cot outside of her room.” Natasha chides
“She will come out when she’s ready. Christ Nat it’s only been 2 months, she’s been through a lot. Atleast I know she’s eating if I bring her food.”
“I wasn’t able to protect her in the first place, so im sure as hell going to make sure im there to protect her now. She was there for me when I was recovering from Hydra. Because that’s what you do when you care about someone. So I don’t know, maybe mind your own business”
Knock Knock
“C-come in” your voice is so meek and tried. If Bucky wasn’t listening for it he would of missed it.
The dim lighting of your room casts a soft warm hue over everything. You’re curled up in bed facing away from him as he quietly comes further into your room.
I’d give anything for her to just look at me, to let me take all her pain away
“I brought you dinner, you might not be hungry but I’ll put it on your desk for you to have when ever you want.”
“Thank you Bucky” you said turning your head only slightly to make sure he heard you.
Bucky was your best friend and if you were being honest with yourself the love of your life. But you couldn’t bare the thought of him seeing you like this, The terrified shell of a person you were before nearly dying at the hands of Hydra.
Bucky couldn’t help but sigh in relief when he hears you getting up and going to your desk almost as soon as he closes the door. And he can’t help but smile when he hears you whisper “my favorite” when you see what’s for dinner tonight.
Bucky jolts awake to the sounds of you crying out. He scrambles off the cot and to your door way in seconds. He opens the door to find you reaching out grasping at something in your nightmare.
“No please… don’t hurt him…Bucky no” you cry out.
Bucky kneels down next to the bed
“Shh- shh. It’s ok, I’m here with you. Your safe, I’m safe, I’ve got you” he says smoothing this hand up your arm up to your face brushing the hair away to cup your face. He traces your cheek bone back and forth with his thumb until your cries stop and your breathing dips back down to normal.
“Bucky…don’t go please… I don’t want to be alone” you whispered through a broken sob as he was sitting there quietly mentally unwilling to leave your side.
“I’m never leaving your side again I’m right here”
“W-will you lay with me?” You ask nervously
“Of course I will”
As soon as Bucky gets settled in your bed your clinging to each other like your lives depend on it. Your face buried in the crook of his neck, his head resting on yours, his arms wrapped tightly around you.
“I thought I was never going to see you again. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there to protect you when you needed me”
“Bucky” you sobbed.
“I was so scared. Scared of what they’d do to you or any of the team. They forced me to watch these videos that showed terrible things happening to you. It took me so long to realize they were fake. But-but I though for most of the time I was captured I thought you were dead. The only thing that got me through was thinking about you”
“I never thought I’d see you again to say this but I love you”
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ladykailitha · 1 year
Text
If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? Part 14
Hey guys, I meant to put this up this morning but I wanted to give the finale of What Do Shovels Dig? Graves a chance to shine before I put out this next part.
I am such a Steve has an abusive father and a neglectful mother fan. It’s like my bread and butter when it comes to Steve’s parents. Only Allison Harrington put her designer clad foot down and said, “No!” There was even a point that I thought about not having this part in the story at all. But I realized that this is where Eddie starts to rescue Steve and Steve’s mother had to be a part of that.
Also, also! I think it would be absolutely hilarious if in the last episode we get to see Steve’s parents and they’re both former 80s darlings and heartthrobs. My vote is on Ally Sheedy and Rob Lowe. Because they LOOK they could be Steve’s parents.
Anyway, enjoy!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
*
Robin cornered him in his bedroom. “You cannot leave anything out!”
Steve laughed. “You were right. He was interested.”
She hit him. “That was more than just interest! He said he loved you.”
“Did you miss the part I said I love him first?” Steve said, shaking his head.
“Don’t think you’re off the hook for that!” she squealed. “I want a play by play for what happened.”
So Steve told her everything.
“He said he loved you first?” Robin asked. “I knew he was flirting with you! Didn’t I say?”
Steve laughed. “I already admitted it. What more do you want?”
“I still can’t believe you got a boyfriend before I got a girlfriend,” she whined.
Steve grinned. “I told you I had game.”
Robin’s face twisted in disgust. “That’s gross.”
Steve laid down on his bed on his stomach, and propped himself on his elbows. “I didn’t know it could feel this way. It’s so much different than when I was with Nancy.”
Robin sat down next to him and curled her hand in his hair. “I would imagine that some of it is because it’s a guy, some of it being Eddie and some of it just being new all around.”
Steve nodded. “Am I rushing this?”
Robin thought for a moment. “I’m not going to lie. Probably a little. But when you both survived something you shouldn’t have, it’s a little hard not see why you wouldn’t want to jump in with both feet. Just as long as you know how far deep it goes, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
Steve rolled over on his back and flung out his arms. “Just being with him feels me with a warmth I didn’t know I was missing. Which is not to say I don’t love you or the kids or anything like that. What you and I have is special. No doubt about that. But this is special in a different way.”
She laid down next to him and he wrapped her in his arms. “I think you finally found what you were looking for.”
He hummed curiously.
“Remember when I said we should combine because you didn’t know what you were looking for but had all the moves and I had zero moves but knew what I wanted?”
He nodded. “Ahh.”
Robin scoffed. “Now I just need to steal your moves.”
“I don’t think taking Vicki to a Metallica concert is going to cut it,” Steve teased.
Robin lurched up and grabbed his pillow. She began hitting him with it as he fended her off laughing hysterically.
She suddenly stopped. “Maybe not a concert, but I could take her somewhere fun and see if she gets the message.”
Steve smiled. “See? There you go.”
She settled back down into his arms. “I am happy for you, you know.”
“I do know,” he murmured.
They fell asleep like that, still dressed in each other’s arms.
*
Steve wakes to the phone ringing. He almost decided to to let it ring when through the fog of sleep the memory that Eddie was going to call pierces through and he’s immediately scrambling over Robin to answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Steven, is that anyway to greet your father!” came the sharp voice on the other end.
Steve looked over at his alarm clock and frowned. It was barely after seven in the morning.
“Sorry, Dad,” he said. “The phone woke me up.”
“Lazing about on a week day?” Mr Harrington snapped. “I raised you better than that!”
“Dad...” Steve groaned. “I know the hospital called you. Sleep is something that happens when you’ve been hurt. Plus, it’s just after seven. My work doesn’t open until ten, I get up at eight.”
Robin looked at him nervously chewing on her thumb.
Mr  Harrington harrumphed. “I suppose so. But that’s not why I’m calling.”
Steve sighed. “What’s up? Are you and Mom okay?”
“We’re fine,” Mr Harrington said. “We heard about the earthquake and we’re coming home.”
Steve’s eyebrows shot up and Robin squeaked.
“Is there someone with you, Steven?” Mr Harrington asked.
Steve gulped, trying to force down the bile that had risen in his throat. “Just my co-worker. They stayed the night so we could drive into work together.”
“I wish you would get a girl and settle down, Steven,” Mr Harrington complained. “You mother wants grandchildren.”
“I–I...” he stammered, looking over at Robin for support. “I’m seeing someone right now, but I’m still barely a teenager. I’m not in any rush to get married.”
Robin gave him a thumbs up.
Mr Harrington sighed. “I suppose young boys do need to sow their wild oats somewhere. We’ll be home this weekend. Please make sure the house is spotless, won’t you?”
“Sure thing, Dad.” And then he hung up.
“Fuck. I should have known my luck would run out.”
Robin tilted her head to the side. “Not necessarily.”
“What do you mean?” Steve asked, scrambling to get up.
“If you’re anything like the rest of us,” Robin explained waving her hands, “you were given hush money over all the shit that went down.”
Steve frowned. “I mean I guess so. I never really thought about it.”
“The reason I still have to work to make ends meet is because I’m still under eighteen. I don’t get access to it until then.”
Steve’s frown deepened. “I mean when my dad said he cut me off and that I had to go get a job, I never even thought about the money that was mine. Usually I would just cash my check and keep it all in cash. Nothing went into savings because I didn’t trust my dad not to take it.”
“I think you need to call your bank and find out exactly how much money you do have,” she said.
He nodded. “I like the idea of having more money than I thought but how does this help me out of having my parents come home this weekend?”
Robin grinned.
*
Steve had to admit it was a sound plan. And it turned out that he had quite a lot. As in over three hundred thousand dollars a lot.
Played right and Steve would never have to work a day in his life if he didn’t want to. It was quite the eye-opener.
He sat down with a financial planner and got things setup properly and away from his dad’s hands. And then moved all but the visible belongings out of his room and into storage.
Steve had even timed it so that neighbors though that he was donating stuff to the aid instead of moving. He kept his clothes, but had two unzipped suitcases under his bed in case he needed to pack in a hurry.
All this while working, volunteering, and looking for a place to live. A lot people offered their house, Eddie and Robin included. Which Steve loved. And they would make great temporary places to bunk down if he needed to bail fast. But he wanted his own place too.
So Eddie and Robin would take him house hunting. Yep. A house. Steve had the money and it wasn’t as though he could leave while the kids and Eddie still needed him.
They hadn’t found a place yet by the time his parents came home, but that was to be expected.
As soon as his parents walked through the door Steve knew that having an escape plan in place was a good idea. Because immediately his mother went flying toward him.
“Steven!” she cooed. “What on earth happened to your neck?”
Steve took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He opened them slowly. “As the doctor would have told you had you bothered to answer or return his call, I was attacked by feral animals and was almost torn to pieces.” He lift the front of his shirt to show the gauze still covering the ginormous gash in his side.
Mrs Harrington gasped and even Mr Harrington looked surprised.
Steve lowered his shirt. “That’s not including the road rash on back from when they dragged me across the ground,” he continued. “Or the many concussions I’ve had over the years. Or any number of injuries that I have suffered and you never bothered to come home for.”
Mrs Harrington turned to her husband and slowly advanced on him. “Why wasn’t I told about any of this?”
Steve’s eyebrows shot up. Okay, he hadn’t been expecting that. He had assumed that she knew, too and didn’t care. But even from behind Steve could tell she was pissed. Her back was rigid, her shoulders were squared and every step she took toward her husband was like a tiger stalking its prey.
And that right there was why Steve put his mother down as a reference and not his dad. His dad was a blowhard. His mother? Was a badass former district attorney and was still respected in the community.
Mr Harrington was digging the hole deeper for himself. “I figured it was just some jumped up doctor looking to milk us for all its worth.”
Mrs Harrington stopped moving toward him and let out a slowly angry breath. She whirled around. “When is your next doctor’s appointment, Steven?”
Steve blinked for a moment. “Next Tuesday? They want to make sure nothing is infected.”
She nodded curtly. She pulled a large manila envelope out of her designer purse and handed it to Mr Harrington. “These are divorce papers, Harold. You will be speaking to my lawyers in the morning.” She turned to Steve. “I’m hungry, darling. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “I mean, of course. Just let me grab my coat.”
Mr Harrington bristled. “You walk out that door, Steven and you won’t be allowed back in it.”
Steve nodded. “Right. Mom, can you give me five minutes to get some things together?”
Mrs Harrington smiled. “Of course, sweetie.”
Mr Harrington’s jaw dropped and she turned back to him. “If you even so much as touch any of my things, I will have you charged with theft. I have pictures and documentation on where everything is, so don’t even try to snoop.”
He continued to sputter as Steve came down the stairs with both suitcases.
“Do you have everything you need, dear?” Mrs Harrington asked, eyeing the two small suitcases.
Steve laughed. “Yeah. I figured he was going to pull this bullshit this weekend so I moved most of my stuff out already.”
She laughed. Bright and clear as bell. Steve smiled. He hadn��t heard her laugh like that in such a long time. She took one the suitcases and linked her arm with Steve’s free hand and they walked out the door together.
***
Part 15 Part 16 Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20    
Tag List: @anaibis @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @whalesharksart @nburkhardt @snapshotmaestro @shrimply-a-menace @theotalksalot @child-of-cthulhu @bookbinderbitch @cr0w-culture @punctualhowell @obliosworld @eddiemunsonswife @sharingisntkaren @dididisrespectyourbridgegoatman @lillemilly
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em-writes-stuff · 7 months
Text
"Why won't it stop"
day 8 of @febuwhump
whumpee, caretaker
766 words
warnings: past abuse discussed, cursing, insomnia, nightmares
~
Caretaker closes Whumpee’s door, making sure to stay quiet as they turn the knob so he stays asleep. They sigh in relief after a few moments of standing still, their ear close to the door. They walk down the hallway and collapse on the sofa, barely able to remember to plug their phone in before falling asleep. 
Whumpee wakes with a start, he pushes himself up with his elbows and frantically looks around the room. 
The nightmare that woke him is quickly disappearing from his memory and all that remains are the phantom hands tracing over his skin. Through his hair, over his chest, his arms, nails digging into his legs. He pulls his blanket tighter around himself and taps rhythmically over his heart with his thumb. 
Slowly, his heartbeat and breathing slows enough to the point where he can convince himself he’s safe. He takes inventory of the room. 
A bed, with no one else on it. A small dresser with a few knicknacks displayed on top, all of them his. There’s a jacket wrapped on the back of a desk chair and the curtains are open, letting moonlight filter inside. A pile of his clothes are in the corner and there’s nothing else. He’s safe, alone, and able to relax a little. 
Whumpee lays back down, pulling the blanket up to his chin and rolls onto his side and curling his legs up to his chest. He bites on his bottom lip to keep from sobbing and tears well in his eyes. 
There’s a knock on his door and he shoots up, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Yes?”
“Hey, it’s Caretaker. Can I come in?” they ask softly. 
Whumpee clears his throat and pulls the blanket over himself. “Yeah, sure.” 
Caretaker slowly pushes the door open and smiles warmly. They walk into the room and sit on Whumpee’s chair. 
“Did you sleep well?” 
It’s a useless question, Caretaker knows it, Whumpee knows it, they both fucking know it. But they asked. Maybe he should tell the truth? 
“As well as I can. Better than last night, I think.” he says, forcing a smile. 
Caretaker tilts their head and bites their cheek, “I thought we agreed on no more lying.” 
Whumpee looks at his hands and frowns. “I can handle it. You don’t need to know everything that happened to me.” 
And Caretaker wants to believe him, they want to nod and accept him at his word. That he can handle what he’s dealing with alone. But they know him. And from the few things Whumper said before he was arrested…he can’t handle it alone. 
Caretaker shakes their head and scoots closer to Whumpee, ignoring the way Whumpee leans back and pulls the blanket tighter around himself. 
“You don’t have to tell me everything. Nothing you don’t want to talk about. But if you’re suffering now? I need to know so I can help. Please, just let me help you.” they say, voice breaking. 
Whumpee stares at them, brows furrowed. He knows he should tell them about the nightmares. That they’re not just flashes of things that used to happen. That he can’t remember what they’re about for more than a few seconds. That even if he could remember, he definitely wouldn’t want to. But all that comes out of his mouth is, “Why won’t it stop?” 
“What stop?” Caretaker asks. 
Whumpee takes a shuddering breath and starts picking at the cuticle on his finger. “Everything.” he looks up and Caretaker’s inching closer to him, an infinitely worried expression on their face. “Not like that. I don’t want to- It’s just. I don’t get any sleep because every time I lay still enough, I can feel Whumper’s hands on me. They’re not…it’s always gentle. And Whumper was never gentle. But I know that…I know it’s them. I just know it’s them and I don’t know how I know because-” 
He stops and looks at Caretaker and takes a deep breath. Caretaker’s cheeks have tear tracks running down them. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” 
“I’ve been here a week. Before that, there were two places that threw me out as soon as they realized they couldn’t ‘fix’ me with a few days of hard work. I didn’t want to risk it.” 
Caretaker leans forward and this time, Whumpee makes an effort not to move. They hold their arms out and Whumpee nods. 
He doesn’t hug them back, but for the first time in a very long time, he can feel the warmth of someone else and he doesn’t want to run off. 
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avionvadion · 1 year
Note
Sorry for the double ask but my curiosity is itching me. What instances of Zelink do you ship? Since you said you’re particular about your Zelink
Skyward Sword is the biggest, lol. I don’t really ship it in BotW, but in TotK I do. In OoT I’m too convinced they’re actually siblings, but in Twilight Princess they barely interact at all.
They just need to actually have chemistry for me to ship it. Like, they need to actually know each other. In Skyward Sword, they’re childhood friends. They grew up with each other.
When Link sees Zelda, he gets this absolutely adorable smile on his face and you just know he loves her. And after they get separated, every time they reunite, Zelda tries to run to him before Impa pulls her back. When she reveals she’s actually reincarnated Hylia, she says, “I’m still my father’s daughter. I’m still your Zelda.”
In BotW, sure, it’s said Zelda’s “love for her fallen knight awakened her power” but at that point in time it just feels kinda one-sided. She’s a dear friend of Link’s, but I don’t get the feeling he was in love with her.
Totk, though??? Where several years have passed??? When they’re walking together in the beginning, observing the ruins, and you can see them interact??? The way Zelda checks up on him and crinkles her eyes in a smile, the way Link takes the torch from her without her even needing to ask??? The way it’s hinted that they live together, and how Zelda’s diary says Link never leaves her side, so she had to have a secret study built in a well? How she has an extra hair tie for him in said well???
How Zelda hid his new tunic to surprise him, behind a puzzle of all things, because she probably knows he likes puzzles and wanted to challenge him a little??? The way she told Link to find her, knowing she wouldn’t be herself after she transformed, and was trusting him to help her remember???
Totk Zelink is just. It’s like an evolution of their dynamic in BotW. Zelda always cared for Link, but Link had been going through such heavy depression- it’s also more hinted that he had feelings for Mipha (at least to me)- and then he died. All of his friends were dead. He woke up a century later. Everything was left behind. He had no memories.
Link had to grieve and move on, and save what was left. He had to remember, he had to heal. And in TotK we get to see that healed Link. He moved on from the past. He moved on from Mipha. He found a future with Zelda. But now Zelda is missing. She doesn’t remember who she is. He has to fight and help her remember, just as she once helped him through his lost memories of her.
It’s. I dunno. It just feels like poetry.
I hope this makes sense, lol.
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preciadosbass · 2 months
Text
3/8/24
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woke up at 10 to my dad shaking me, he seemed in so much more of a better mood than the past few days, which is good. i told him about the frank, mikey and gerard sightings [even though i’d already told him about gerards] and we joked for a bit. i don’t really remember what about but it made me feel good. i had my breakfast while showing him a few tiktok’s related to bands i like and stuff. not to mention i obviously cuddled boris the second i saw him. also, saw the RAY TORO PHOTO AAA HES ALIVE
after fussing boris some more i went back to sleep at 11:50 because i felt like my eyes were forcefully being pryed open.. took a while to actually get to sleep because of how hot it is. i eventually did and woke up 2ish. my mum and sister had already left to go out as my sister found out one of her online friends she games with lives close to us. i watched my dad play roblox again and he kept on blaming me whenever he died in natural disasters lmaoo — he played two more games before we went out for a walk to pick blackberries at around 4.
most of the ones i picked i didn’t end up keeping because i’m very particular and i cant eat them if they’re the slightest bit squishy/if the separate berry things that make them up are too big. its really weird. anyway, we’re both terrible at making conversation so we just tended to point out things around us, if that makes sense. like, ‘those ones don’t look ripe’. we were out for 30/40 minutes and when i got back home i cuddled boris. he seems off today, like the weather isn’t too bad and he hasn’t gone out from my knowledge, and he doesn’t seem content when i stroke him. i’m worried about him.
i continued watching a gerard video id started watching yesterday and went out to see boris. my parents were in the kitchen at the same time and i mentioned him seeming off but they said he went outside when i had my nap so that’s reassuring. i didn’t stay out there for long because he wanted to come back in. when i did come in i watched my dad play natural disaster again and had something to eat because just moving my head was making my vision cut out. afterwards i checked on boris and scrolled on mcrblr.
i did ask my mum if we could go on a walk but she said no so i’m still really anxious as i won’t be able to burn off what i’ve eaten. exercising at home just dosent cut it for me. i always get caught and become unmotivated so fast. it’s understandable that she did refuse though, she barely ever does, and she’s been up someone else house all day feeling awkward. i also asked quite late considering how fast it gets dark.
i carried on doing my own thing [looking at various band related posts] up until about 9, nearly ten, when i went upstairs to talk to my dad while waiting for my sister to get to sleep so i could ask the questions about boris. my mum said yesterday that maybe i should include my sister in my routine and ask her a couple questions, so after dad watched me play natural disaster for a while as we waited, i went into her room as i knew she was still awake and did exactly that. she’s almost always really understanding about the whole compulsion thing, although i knows she dosent actually get it because i dont myself, and it’s my issue.
i eventually asked my parents the questions which took longer than i’d anticipated because of how different i think boris has been acting today. cutting the questions down and making them easier to go through makes my compulsions so much worse and sends me into utter panic but i tried my best not to drag it on, although i did. i just love boris so much. after that i went downstairs, had some icy water, brushed my teeth and said goodnight to boris. i brought his food to him so i could make sure he’s eaten and told him in advance about me being out practically the whole day tomorrow.
i hate being away from him, it makes me feel so guilty. plus, being with him just makes me feel so comforted, and hopefully it does the same for him too. i think it might do because for example, our dog is very noisy and he [boris] seems to be calmer when the dog barks if someone’s stroking him. which is another reason why i don’t like being away, i don’t like him being scared, or for him to be feeling anything bad in general. he knows he’s the boss of the dog though, which is good because of their size difference. i went to sleep early at 1:36 because i have to wake up somewhat early in the morning. i feel bad about barely doing anything at all today, but at least ill be productive tomorrow.
have a good day/night -_<
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clocks-are-round · 7 months
Text
it’s very fun writing unreliable narrators. only letting the audience be told outright what the narrator believes to be true. or wants to be true.
but a shortcoming of it— although it’s par for the course— is worrying that readers won’t see what i left hidden between the lines. not knowing what’s too blatant and what’s not obvious enough. because of this i think sometimes the characters come across as a bit more “tsundere” than initially planned, insisting “no it’s definitely not because i’m (x adjective they’re in denial about)” in an attempt to make their self-deception more clear.
like i was rereading the three months o’malley epilogue— minor spoiler warning i guess. i’ll only be talking about one sentence and doing character analysis related to it—
he says when he was born he was inexplicably angry, threw a tantrum that shorted out the power of the MoI, and barely remembers the event.
i wonder if readers will understand omalley is describing a serious anxiety attack— one that he either mostly repressed or was hampering his ability to make long term memory in the moment— that he demeans as a “tantrum” because he’s so used to a specific negative self-image that “anxious” does not fit in to. he does not believe he could have been the victim of an “anxiety attack” because he is the “attacker”. my guy woke up to existence and immediately had a meltdown over all these intense emotions he could not fathom the cause of. (*slaps director and counselor and then points over at alpha and all the fragments* look you gave them anxiety! and so so much repressed trauma)
he was treated like a machine/tool with little to no personhood by everyone but those who were friends to him and like many other fragments had internalized that “only purpose is to be helpful— ambitions and dreams? yeah i don’t get to have those. im the [single emotion/concept] one and that’s all i’ll ever be” for a long time. and any deviation from that directive was being “faulty” and a flaw rather than acknowledgement of being more “human” than the higher-ups wanted to admit.
it didn’t help that he was the “angry” one. the “problem” ai, the “destructive” one. he ended up embracing it, but internalizing that kind of self image fucks you up.
i just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about omalley ai still. a lot comes from headcanon, but those headcanons were influenced by what scraps we get in canon material.
When it comes down to it, I guess I can always explain my thought process elsewhere, like i did here. I am my primary audience first and foremost so I think with that kind of thing, as long as I understand, that’s what matters most.
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crguang · 1 month
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Sorry for double asking but what makes you like Zoya?? I feel like what I’m about to say is gonna get me sniped or outcasted but I don’t get the appeal of her. Like she attractive and hot but I honestly just can’t see her that way lowkey. I do admire her for wanting to change syndicate even if she knows the way isn’t through violence (which is something she’s know all her life) and is honestly willing to put her trust in this newbie, literally just woke up a week ago, chief. Cuz she sees that there’s a way forward through them for her and her people. Like it’s fascinating(?) to see her be able to look past the experience that the chief does not have and give them a chance, a footing if you will, in a world that doesn’t really want them. And literally put her life on the line and reputation too just so they can start making a difference.
Hopefully that reads coherently, honestly first time really writing down my thoughts like this in a while so hopefully it’s not a bunch of nonsense.
Tho…. I do think her an Bai Yi should sloppy, mouth open, kiss on the bike that she has. Can you imagine the soft sex they could have when Bai Yi got her out of the BR and she brought her back to her place or an hideout of some sort. Bai Yi telling her she’s an idiot while she patches up her wounds and probably even gives her bath too. After get her all cleaned and bandaged up she finally breaks down to which she’s kinda embarrassed by but doesn’t care because this woman almost fucking died because of some rando chief (I’m pretty sure they haven’t really met yet at this point) and Zoya leans towards her, pressing her forehead against hers and tell her she’s sorry and that she saw a chance for a better life for the legion, syndicate…. them.
She tells her she’ll make up for what happened before giving her a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth, Bai Yi looking at her a little stunned at the gesture but closes that gap between them that she didn’t even realize was so small and how she could feel Zoya’s hot breath on her lips. The kiss gets heated but not by too much cuz she’s doesn’t want to hurt her but Zoya tells her she’s a tough cookie, surviving being a freaking corpus for a BR. A very cocky smile on her face as looks at her with a desire she so desperately wants to show her. And Bai Yi give her a little pinch on her arm, letting out a weak laugh, telling her that she could’ve died. Zoya immediately telling her “but I didn’t did it.” Bai Yi nodding and then leaning into kiss her so fucking softly that it’s like she pressed a marshmallow to her lips or even a cloud perhaps.
And then they fuck with Zoya laying about ever so soft kisses on her skin and giving her little nibbles here and there. Making sure she could feel how much Zoya wants her NEEDS her and how much she cares for in the night.
…… okay I’m done lol hopefully that’s okay to put in your asks …. Ok bye 👋🏾 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️
-🍷
you asked why i liked zoya then answered your own question gehdbdjfn i love her for the same things you said. she’s a product of a super violent environment and she uses her power to change the city for the better. she knows new things cant be built on violence but it’s all she has and she’s still putting it to good use; her character arc was honestly amazinggg she’s been a favorite ever since. like yeah shes hot and her dick is big (i would know) but i just feel so hype whenever she’s on the screen, she’s one of those characters where they show up and you breathe a sigh of relief because you know they’re gonna win. she’s so cool !!! she’s cocky but she earned it because no one can beat her fr😭 her consciousness was being torn apart for i cant remember how long inside BR-004 and she still fought to the END! she’s sooo inspiring. chief barely did anything; zoya was the one who fought back and allowed earl/bai yi/chief to save her, if she was any weaker she would’ve turned into a corpus. there’s a lot of comfort that comes with being so strong, she makes others feel safe whenever she’s around and that’s so precious in a place like syndicate where suffering is the norm. seeing how she was treated growing up, the people she’s lost and how she turned into such a compassionate person anyway warmed my heart. character wise, she’ll always be on top, she’s a real comfort character fr— i’m literally like horo. like just know that i will gas her up every time, i’ll suck her dick every time! that’s my commander. my GOAT. she made the story click for me, i was intrigued before but when she showed up?! it was gigglefest. people said she sucked gameplay wise and GUESS WHAT. GOT HER ANYWAY. THATS MY TROPHY WIFE! she loves me so bad she came home in 2 pulls. what we have is something so real, so special and beautiful.
also yes that is definitely okay to put in my inbox i get fanfiction for free lmfaooo, bai yi is always next to zoya in some way in official art like she wants her so bad. she’s so annoying (affectionate) i still havent forgiven her for taking zoya from me though… literally stole my wife for over six months and it was never mentioned again like?;?;$:$ tbf i only just started ch.11 but stilllll— WHERE IS ZOYA. but it’s funny that you want them being soft and cute cause the bai yi/zoya stuff that i see is just them fucking nasty jdjfkgkg i havent even met bai yi (properly) in the story yet but i already love them because i know they would banter like crazy since bai’s a menace AND strong enough to hold her own against corpus!zoya so she must be super cocky too… if there’s no space for a third all i need is the tape🙂‍↕️
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facewithoutheart · 2 years
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Personal update after the break ❤️ heed the tags
I’ve always been a bit of a TMI mess so just throwing this out there because a) I like people knowing this but hate updating people individually and b) it’s helping me process.
At the end of my 2.5 week South American vacation with my husband I came down with what I thought as food poisoning. (Or, at the very very start, acute hatred of crowds at museums.) Anyway I went back to our hotel and started puking for about 18 hours. Which was a problem, given we were meant to go home the next day. Eventually my husband agreed with me that I was not getting better and we delayed our flight for another day.
On Jan 3 at about 3pm I finally felt normal. Like, I got an appetite. It was amazing. I sent my husband on a mission to bring me food and took a celebratory nap.
This is likely when my appendix burst.
I woke up in severe pain. Like. Severe. 6 or 7 on the pain scale. We waited all night but nothing made it better. Eventually my husband got me dressed and ready for the flight because a) we still thought this was a really bad case of food poisoning (I made him google appendicitis since the pain was that bad but nothing we read made it sound like that’s what I was experiencing.) and b) whatever was hurting me we wanted to be back in our own country where we had access to more resources and spoke the same language. My husband can speak some Spanish, but struggles with vocabulary, and this wasn’t a situation where we wanted to miss things in translation.
I was under the delusion that if I could just curl up in my own bed everything would be better.
Onward through a bumpy cab ride, pre-customs (where I had to sit on my luggage to not pass out… keep in mind I’d barely eaten anything besides some water and Colombian pedialyte for 2.5 days), get through security, walk to the gate (by this point every movement of my feet felt Sisyphean), get through a second, special, just for me baggage check where I had to take off and put my shoes on (seriously cannot overstate how painful that was), and then suffer through a 6 hour turbulent flight. All without looking sick because we were afraid they wouldn’t fly us home if I looked sick.
Ok! So now we’re back in the states. I am holding on for my comfy bed (remember: delusionally). We get through US customs in a surprisingly efficient manner, then head for our Lyft with Larry. Oh, Larry. He was the world’s slowest driver, bless him.
We get home, I pout at the bed until my husband put the sheets on, and then immediately flopped onto them.
And did not feel better. Worse, actually.
After being betrayed by the bed that was meant to cure me, I made more sad noises at my husband until we decided to call in the A team: my sister, the nurse.
She didn’t answer.
So I called my mom. Or, I called my mom and made my husband talk to her while I continued to make sad noises. We all have our coping mechanisms. She told us to go to urgent care, which is a shock if you know my mom. She’s minimized my illnesses my whole life so when she said, “Christina doesn’t complain about being sick until she’s really sick so maybe you should get it checked out.” Then my sister called back and helped talk us into a stand-alone ER which has facilities much like a standard ER but much faster and with a private room.
That’s probably the purpose of this whole story so holding it again: I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I saying going to a stand-alone ER (in the US) saved my life. Or at least helped avoid an invasive longer recovery surgery. To find one, you’re basically looking for an ER associated with a main hospital group, but not inside the main hospital compound. They’re a little hard to find so that’s the best I can do.
Ok so onward to the stand-alone ER. I’ll remind you at this point we’re still operating under the idea that I have really bad food poisoning, maybe severe dehydration. We get to the ER, check in, get taken back to the room, sing our story for some IV fluids, and I even got a warmed up blanket.
Heaven, if you ask me.
Fast-forward: they do a series of tests on me and conclude that my appendix has ruptured, possibly some time ago, and it’s imperative that I get surgery. Like, appendix where are you? They can’t even see it lol. They do double check my gall bladder just in case, which is another common problem FYI keep that in mind people who were born female.
Now the only question is whether or not I get a bed. Keep in mind I’m sitting pretty. The warm blankets, remember? The hospitals nearby are all full. People in the hallways waiting for care. Not ideal! The doctor tells his own horror story about his father being unable to find a room in a hospital to wait for surgery that will come 🤷‍♀️. (Coincidence: this doctor was Peruvian so that was fun! Since we’d just been.)
Luck is on my side because there’s a surgeon who will take me straight to the operating room. I get an ambulance ride (no sirens ☹️) but I do have a fun, chatty EMT who gawks at the number of ambulances stuck in the ambulance dock at the hospital to which I’m transferred. (Another bonus: the hospital is five minutes from my house.)
I pretty much immediately go into surgery. “Teetering” is the word the surgeon used about how bad I was doing. My husband estimated that I likely wouldn’t have survived another 24 hours in that condition. Fun times! Something to process later.
Moving on. I’m two days post-op, feeling great (great enough to write this!) and I’ve moved onto clear liquids, which is so awesome you guys. JELLO! ON PRESCRIPTION! I had a grape slushee yesterday, things are swinging back my way. I do have recovery issues (need to poop ☹️ need to get my ng tube removed ☹️☹️☹️ need to be able to blow a little green tube until it reaches 2,000 or something), but I’ve reached a stage where recovery is measurable so omfg my engineer husband is so happy. He has notes. He is getting a whole thrill out of making doctors explain things to him like he’s an idiot. Aside from the fact, you know, his wife’s appendix tried to kill her or whatever and the fact he’s got to actually go into the grocery store.
Meanwhile I get to measure my success in farts, which is really fun. The surgeon was like “I know you ladies don’t like talking about gas” and I was like “sir you saved my life with minimally invasive surgery but I cannot begin to tell you how little I care about talking about farts. Farts, farts, farts.” And then tried to see if we knew any of the same doctors so he’d pull my ng tube faster. No dice. He used this thing called “logic” and also “your belly was full of puss that I had to suck out so maybe do what I say” blah blah blah (no seriously I am super grateful for him; modern medicine, hospital system mess aside, is a marvel and I’m so happy I live in a world where a laparoscopic surgery was able to treat my issues with minimal side effects).
Anyway, that’s my story! Appendixes: sleeping nightmares, apparently. Lurking. Even when you’re 36 and way past appendicitis phase if you ask me. Way more trendy for a woman my age to have gall bladder issues.
Also: props to every man who said there’s no way a man would ever let this issue get as bad as I did because of my insane pain tolerance 🤣 like, thanks for the shout-out but I could do without the hospital stay.
Second shout out to my amazing husband who has been such a champ, getting me things, pushing doctors for answers, advocating for me, and also taking time to slap my ass every time I accidentally flash him with my very sexy hospital gown. He knows how to make me feel both cared for and alive. Ugh I’m gonna cry just thinking about how grateful I am to him. I won’t even make fun of him for WALKING INTO A SONIC SERIOUSLY WHO DOES THAT YOU ANIMAL but I will tease him for googling appendix and saying, “Do you know they don’t even know what the purpose of an appendix is?” Like. Honey. Yes, everyone knows that. But I pretended to be surprised anyways because, like I said. Champ.
Also my husband said my lung exercise machine looks like it has “a dick” which was exactly what I was thinking. Fist bumps. Never grow up.
The end!
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pkstormcloud · 3 days
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old art, but just a filler to rant abt stormcloud :D
the modified ness au where claus takes care of ness and tries to save him just SENDS MEEE. like aidjkwndwn these poor things…it just gets worser and worser for ness and there’s nothing that claus can do about it
the commander spots an injured unconscious being in the water, his wing bleeding. he doesn’t know what to do, but something in his chest makes him unable to leave him, so he uses what he can to stop the bleeding. once he’s done that, claus brings him in to get him patched up because he’s the commander and so he’s busy and has other things to attend to that are urgent. he hugs him and tries to warm himself up (I have a hc where claus can heat up / overheat for extra warmthhh :3), getting ness conscious again and waking up to someone caring for him, and keeping him warm. he woke up to kindness.
Claus is flustered about this, but he quickly gets up and he tells the guy who’s come in to help ness to let him leave afterwards, yet ness’s wings are an advantage to helping them find and get them to the needles faster and, instead, he’s given over to mr. fassad to be trained and shocked without his will, or without the commander being aware of it. claus comes back looking for fassad only to find what they’ve done to ness, seeing him look pretty beat up from all the shocks and stuff.
he starts feeling pity, not knowing what the feeling really is. But he rescues Ness and helps him leave the lab, yet ness doesn’t actually have a home because he lives up in the clouds, and his wing is still recovering…so..
Ness trusts him, following him around when he needs to do orders, and Claus ends up taking him under his wing and protecting him D: and he begins to develop more emotions having to take care of him, and gets Ness to hide when he has to go in the lab for regular check-ups and stuff. He begins to….love him. And Ness loves him too. But one day it all has to end when a Pigmask steals the remote Claus had on him that can shock ness as he’s going for his check up, spots ness and shocks him before covering his mouth as he hides from the commander. ness has to bite him and yell for help, and claus hears it and comes running back to him, shouting “Ness”….
He gave away his feelings.
The pigmask gets away, dropping the remote that claus picks up and breaks shortly after. He holds him and hugs him hard, making sure he’s alright, but they’re soon ambushed by other pigmasks. the one that got away told on them. And so the commander is brought into reprogramming, while ness is back to being recaptured and having to be tortured once more by the hands of Fassad. ness is sitting, tired, in a cage at this point, when the commander returns. But he is not the same claus. he’s stumbling a little as he enters, with Dr. Andonuts telling ness how he’s forced to be with the commander until they get to brainwashing ness..and forcing him to help with looking for the needles. He attaches some kind of chain leash to the shock collar, since it can’t work anymore and they can’t really..boss him around without dragging him lol
ness pretty much doesn’t want to help with it, but doesn’t resist with the commander because he’s so tired of all the pain he’s been through so far. his only will of resistance is shown when they talk about modification. claus feels all fuzzy about ness and still starts to give some kind of care when he sees a hopeless, sad lil guy who’s been in a cage for too long: he gives him food and water when he doesn’t need it, and even a pillow and blanket trying to make the cage more comfortable. what gets claus to remember is the act of ness using the chain leash to try to rip his wing off in an attempt to rebel against porky. he stops him from fully ripping it off, yelling at him asking why he did this to himself and hugging him hard and recollecting his love for him. claus has to slice his wing off with it barely hanging onto the wing's base, but really it’s too late for him as they catch ness again and brings him into being modified despite his yells for help and his struggling. There’s nothing claus can do, otherwise he’ll be reprogrammed again and they won’t remember each other. i mean, what could he do to save him? it just wouldn’t end well for the both of them. ness comes back…with bad communication and physically modified. his wings are made to be robotic. he’s been given extra hearing with his new modification to his ears, his fangs were made sharper…
it was everything ness didn’t want. and claus was mortified at what they did to his love. They made him into a mindless killing machine…just like what they did to him. And the first thing he did when they were alone was hug him and cry. and ness had no emotion left.
this is getting wayyy too long HAHAHA izzy ur such a yapper!! But in short, claus helps ness remember through lots of physical affection and cuddling, and now with ness’s hearing and claus being able to mask his emotions when he has his helmet on, they get to be together :’) ough….i love them so much. but its really sad how claus gets to watch ness become something against his will.. i can imagine claus making hypothetical “what ifs” in his head. like, “what if i just stopped to patch him up myself”, “what if i never helped him remember”…”what if i didn’t help him, and he could’ve been free”, “what if i never saved him from fassad”. in the end, there’s no escape for the both of them until lucas comes along to finish the last needle. There’s constant worry about being caught, having to keep their emotions, love, everything a secret. waiting until they can be happy together, and free…
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33 with Isshin and Momo! Because I'd love to see how'd you write them meeting if ever.
And well I love how you write angst so 7 and 1 for Rangiku and Gin?
Send a number and I’ll write a micro story
Note: Momo and Isshin's story is below the cut.
You Can't Go Yet
Prompts/words to include: silent fury and don't leave.
Rating: K+/ General with themes
Setting: before the main story
Synopsis: Most children in their district are attacked or forever changed when they first arrive, but Rangiku had been lucky...until now.
AN: so, I had WAY too many ideas for this one! I landed on this one mainly because it was the first one I came up with, but who knows, I may end up writing the others at some point ;D This ended becoming more than a micro fic but I still tried to keep it short.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this!
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As soon as the Shinigami are gone, Gin bolts from his hiding place amongst the trees and shrubs. He almost trips while rushing down the hill to Rangiku. She doesn’t stir when he shakes her shoulder or calls out to her.
Don’t leave me, he’d chants over and over in his mind as he hefts her on to his back and carries her home.
When he comes back into town, the adults around them watched on in apathy, useless to him. Every now and then he gives her a jostle, but still no reaction. His only relief, small as it is, is feeling her breath warm his shoulder.
"You can't go yet," he murmurs to her, and he hates the gnawing in his chest, the possibility that this is the end for them.
She had been lucky up until now. Sometimes he hears about how children should act, about the games they ought to play or the obedience they're meant to have to adults or the way they speak to each other. Most children in their district are attacked or forever changed when they first arrive, but the worst Rangiku had gone through was hunger.
He'll never know what possessed him to feed her that day or take her back to his shelter and decide she could live with him. Did he want some semblance of the childhood he's heard about? Was it something as pathetic as loneliness?
It’s when he’s almost home that she finally wakes up. He stumbles, but is quick to find a steady footing. With a renewed urgency, she rushes back to their home.
He doesn’t talk to her until they’re inside. He lowers her on to the lone futon, but she choose to sit up.
“I don’t remember,” she says when he asks what happened. “Something happened, I know it did, but I…” She raises a hand to her chest. Her eyes are wide and she slowly shakes her head. “Something’s not right. Something’s…” Her tears surprise her just as much as him. “I don’t know what, but something’s missing. W-What is it?”
Gin knows from the way she cries and shakes into his arms that it isn’t a physical possession – what little they had was only what was required to survive. Her reaction is one of missing something wholly personal and unseeable; there’s confusion for not knowing what it is and yet mourning for it being gone.
“I saw some men nearby,” he says when her sobs calm. “Do you remember them?”
“No,” she says, only half sure. “I was alone, and then I woke up.”
“They may have knocked you out.”
“My head doesn’t hurt though.”
And sure enough, she has no head injuries, just the usual scuff marks one got form living here. Night had come, so he chooses to relent in his questioning. After silently eating scarps of what food they’d gathered this morning, she rests back on the futon. Despite her exhaustion, her eyes remain wide and alert.
“Don’t leave, okay?” she says, clutching at his sleeve.
It’s the most vulnerable he’s heard her. Is she afraid to close her eyes? To wake up and find something else has gone missing?
With a gentleness he barely knows, he wraps his fingers around her wrist and pulls her hand away. “I won’t.”
With his reassurance, she feels safe enough to close her eyes and sleep quickly takes her. Gin stays awake, staring into the night through the gap in their door. He could not rest tonight even if he tried.
He sees the faces of those men pass through his mind. He commits them to memory, every detail he could remember. He knows little about Shinigami, but the ones that came here are always ordered by someone to handle disputes. If he's lucky, the men will come back, and he can track down their leader.
There’s a part of him, quiet and desperate, that tells him to stop this before it gets worse. Once glance at Rangiku banishes that thought far away.
Most souls in their district showed their rage through violence or shouting. For Gin, it’s a silent fury, one that slithers and coils in his veins, thrumming with anticipation but cool with patience. If he’d let it guide him, he’s certain it’ll give him the power to take what bloody imaginings he has and make them a reality upon those men and their leader.
_________________________________________
Send a number and I’ll write a micro story
Note: the Isshin and Momo story is below the cut.
The Momo Hinamori
Prompt/word to include: saccharine
Rating: K/General
Setting: before the main story
Synopsis: Isshin meet the Momo Hinamori.
AN: this was surprisingly harder than I thought it would be, but thank you for the challenge! Although as a result, this became a bit more than a micro fic ^^; I'll preface this by saying we don't know exactly when Toshiro was promoted to third seat, but in this scenario I'm imagining Momo is either a third seat herself or close to be being one. I hope you enjoy it!
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Isshin had been watching Toshiro and the girl in Tenth Division’s main courtyard for almost a full minute. It’s rare to see Toshiro interact anyone the way he did with her – not only did he retort to things she said, but he even teased her with a nickname that made Isshin raise an eyebrow. She calmed when he said why he invited her here.
“You’ve…been offered third seat?” she asks, eyes wide and brows almost reaching her hairline.
He nods stiffly.
Her surprise changes with a gasp and a clap of her hands. “Oh my goodness! That’s amazing, Shiro-chan! Congratulations!”
Her grin is positively saccharine, and Isshin almost shouts out in disbelief when the young boy’s cheeks glow bright pink in response. “Don’t call me that, bed-wetter!”
He needs to know who this is, and it’s with this in mind he walks as naturally as possible towards the duo, hops off the balcony, and waves his hand to get their attention. “Yo, Hitsugaya!”
The girl turns, and her grin wavers upon seeing him. She’s quick to bow. “Captain Shiiba.”
“No need for that,” he reassures with a chuckle. “I don’t recognise you from my division.”
The girl rises. “Oh, I’m Hinamori Momo, from Fifth Division.” With a new shyness – perhaps realising he had seen the whole exchange – she gestures to Toshiro. “I just came here to visit Hitsugaya-kun.”
When he shifts his gaze Toshiro, the boy looks caught between being mortified and shocked. He swivels his head away with a huff, and it’s only then it dawns on Isshin.
“Ah, so you’re Hinamori-san!”
The girl blinks. “Oh, um…”
He gives her a grin. “Apologies. Hitsugaya here has mentioned you before. You’ve been friends for a while I hear!”
Momo looks to Toshiro, but he stares at the ground and his cheeks somehow get even redder. Had she never expected him to talk about her? Did she wonder what he'd told his captain about her?
She needn't worry; for the most part it had been in short exchanges.
"Hinamori wants to visit Baa-chan," he'd said when Isshin asked where he went on some of his breaks.
"They're from Baa-chan, Hinamori delivered them," he'd said when a box of amanatto appeared on his desk.
"And unlike you, she finishes her work on time," he'd muttered at Rangiku when the lieutenant expressed her surprise at the paperwork that'd appeared on her desk and asked who'd delivered it.
"It's for Hinamori's birthday," he's murmured while holding a small box, and he'd looked at Isshin as if he were judging just how much he could trust him with knowing how much he cared about his friend; a lot it seemed.
Isshin always knew Toshiro was the type to keep most of his personal thoughts and feelings to himself, so this girl must be truly special to him to talk about her as freely as he does.
Eventually, Momo gives Isshin a smile and a nod. “Yes, we’ve been friends since we met in the Junrinan.”
 "I take it he told you about his new position then?” He smacks a hand on to Toshiro’s shoulder, causing the boy to stumble and then level him a surprised glare. “Our new third seat, at such a young age too!”
“He’s always been a hard worker,” Momo says. “I know he’ll do well in the position.”
It’s a wonder Toshiro didn’t pass out from how red his face got, whether from annoyance, embarrassment, or both Isshin couldn't tell. Isshin almost makes a executive decision right there and then to invite her and Aizen to division dinners every few months.
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