#i assume you must get some gator awareness

[separatist-apologist]

as a floridian, lucien vangator is the only thing that can bring me solace in this hurricane season

As a Floridian, I want you to know I will be doing things that make you say, "this person clearly has never been anywhere near a swamp- this is questionable at best"

[sherlollydramoine]

Because I Love You

Prompt 3: “you did this”

Fandom: The Pacific/HBO War - Modern Day AU

Pairing: Sledgefu

Word Count: 1621

Warnings: There aren’t any warnings other than maybe some language. PG/PG-13

This is my first foray into Sledgefu but I’ve been wanting to write them FOREVER. I’m sure I’ve got the characterization all wrong but I was nervous.

Pulling into the driveway slowly as it was late and the gravel under the tires of the old truck always feels deafening in the silence of night. Shifting the truck into park and turning the key over to shut down the engine, he lets out a tired sigh. He was a bit bitter that he’d had to go to a study group on Halloween but there was a major exam next week and he couldn’t afford to miss the study session. The love of his life had been understanding though the disappointment on his face was clearly visible. Halloween was always their special thing and they often spent it getting way too drunk and having way too much fun. But with so much that had been going on this year with a global pandemic, political and civil unrest, and so much brutality in the world all of that had been canceled. 

Eugene was weary, so done with everyone’s shit but mostly he just wanted to be done with school. His lover was mostly patient and kind to him though to others his husband was often perceived as hard and mean. Whenever Eugene brings it up Merriell just smiles and says that he has a reputation to uphold. Looking at his reflection in the rearview mirror he runs his fingers through his ginger hair lets out another tired sigh and grabs the bag off the seat next to him. 

The door to the truck loud as it’s old rusted hinges protested with an angry squeak before slamming it shut behind him. Wanting nothing more than to take a shower and go to bed he exhaustedly shuffled his way across the drive and up the stairs of the rickety porch. The one porch light that was in working order was on emitting a low glow and he could hear the moths and whatever other flying insects had gathered to worship in the light repeatedly flying into the light cover. As he pulls open the screen door he notices a piece of paper haphazardly fastened to the door and his heart nearly drops into his stomach. Ah fuck, please don’t let it be another shutoff notice.

Yanking the paper down and squinting in the dimness of the half lit porch he managed to ascertain that it wasn’t a shutoff notice but rather a handwritten note that had been left there by his love. Heart-melting at the familiar scrawl, as he unfolded the paper completely to read what message it contained. He’d assumed that Mer wasn’t home and this was just a little way of ensuring that Eugene was made aware of it before he settled in for the night. He was pleasantly surprised when the note indicated no such thing but rather a sweet, for Merriell, message. 

‘Door is unlocked. Please go wash up and then meet me on the back porch. Dinner is waiting for you.’

Smiling to himself he turned the handle and stepped inside the dark house kicking off his shoes out of habit, and then leaving them on the rack next to the front door, dropping his backpack and leaving it on the floor.  

“Mer?” he calls out in the dark, waiting for a response that didn’t come.

As he walks deeper into the house he glances towards the kitchen noticing a soft glow from some of the Halloween decorations coming from the dining room table. The back porch door was wide open, only covered by the thin layer of mosquito netting that had been hung over the outer part of the doorway. His stomach rumbles as the delicious scents wafting in from the kitchen hit his nose. 

Suddenly he was starving as he remembers that it had been nearly ten hours since he’d last eaten. His study group had provided snacks but everyone was so intense discussing and clarifying information that they were hardly touched. The primary thing he’d consumed all day was coffee which always made his stomach hurt but wasn’t it considered a magic bean? The life giving substance? He knew for himself and for Merriell that neither of them could function normally without a few cups in the morning and for Eugene, he’d need more than just a few cups throughout the day. 

His face splitting in a grin as he realized that even though their plans for Halloween had been drastically changed this year, he was not going to let that stop him from making the best of it. His husband had made a show of making sure that the house, both inside and out, was decorated as fully as it could be. The only damper this evening is that his husband was nowhere to be seen and he found himself mildly disappointed at not receiving his ‘hello, welcome home, I love you’ kiss that he had been so accustomed to.

Deciding not to dwell on the fact that he was actually missing his husband he heads to the washroom to clean up as he’d been instructed. The hot shower was exactly what he needed as the grime from the day slowly made its way down the drain taking with it the exhaustion he’d been feeling. Now all he felt was a sense of excitement perhaps brought on by the chance of seeing his husband and also knowing that he’d have all of tomorrow to rest. 

Turning off the water and stepping out of the shower on the ugliest purple bath mat that Mer had insisted they had to have, he toweled himself off. Deciding against shaving since his husband loved it when he didn’t have a fresh face. His husband often joked that his freshly shaven face made him look like a twelve-year-old boy but the scruff definitely had a positive effect, making his usually incredibly randy husband even more so. As he glances at the counter he realizes that his husband must have slipped in undetected and left his Halloween costume hanging on the towel rack next sink. A little note was pinned to it presumably with the strict instructions to put it on before heading out to dinner. Donning the costume that Merriell had picked out specifically for him to wear and combing his hair so that it sat just as he knew his husband liked it he admired himself for a moment. Merriell really knows how to pick a costume because damn, I do look good.

Making his way through the house admiring all the little decorations and other little things that were distinctly Merriell that make this rickety house feel like home. Merriell was a collector of weird sometimes macabre things but the item that he loved the most was Billy, the Gator skull, that sat on the mantel over the ancient fireplace that was meticulously decorated by Merriell for every holiday or season. By the time he got to the back porch his face was almost hurting from how hard he was smiling. This house was chock full of mismatched, eccentric decorations but it felt more like home than the rigid, full of antique, don’t-touch-anything, it can’t look like anyone lives here upper-crust southern home he’d grown up in. 

Reaching the back door he steps through the magnetically connected mosquito net and called out for his husband.

“Have a seat please, I’ve prepared quite a little feast for us,” Merriell says from behind him. He jumped a little putting his hand over his heart making his husband chuckle.

 “Sorry boo, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Mer says as he moves in front of Eugene, wrapping his arms around Eugene’s neck. “You look incredibly handsome boo. I love you, welcome home.”

Merriell gives his husband a quick kiss and instructs him again to have a seat before dashing off back into the house. Merriell had recently fixed up an old wooden table and had found some chairs that fit the table though they were not a matching set. Sliding into the worn but comfortable chair he sat and admired the table set up. Merriell had gone all out and had decorated the center of the table with some small semi-odd decorations. He had set the dishes on the table in a way that Eugene suspects was trying to mimic the overly fancy, start from the outside and work your way in, setup that Gene had grown up with.

His gaze goes back to the back door as Merriell came in and out of the house several times carrying the various food items that he’d prepared for their Halloween feast.

What a feast it really truly was. His lover had made what he called bloody vampire soup which was really just a tomato bisque, severed finger breadsticks, various fruits on skewers that he somehow managed to make resemble bugs, a salad, and for dessert, he’d made a cake coated in black frosting and bits of cotton candy with fake spiders on them. 

“I really don’t deserve you Merriell. I just can’t believe that you did this. You do everything for us and what do I contribute to our marriage?”

“Gene, don’t start this. I do these things for you because I love you. You know what you do for us? You are getting the education that I never did so that you can get a good job. Then I can become a full time house and trophy husband.”

This elicits a laugh from Eugene.

“Is that all you ever wanted darling? To be reduced to nothing more than a house husband?”

“Yeah, a house husband that can fix this place up with my own two hands. Your parents were more than generous to buy us the shitty little shack as a wedding gift.”

“My darling, I look forward to the day when you can take our shitty little shack and turn into our dream castle.”

@ramimedley @xmxisxforxmaybe @detectivecutiepantsandhisbabyfox @aboutthatmelancholystorm @will-grammer @theblossomknows @diasimar

[cursewoodrecap]

Session 22: Five-Dimensional Man-Go

This is a session I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time. I get to introduce three of my favorite characters in the entire campaign. 

In the real world it’s been a while, but this was the session we officially welcomed a new chaos goblin player to the table. And damn, am I glad we did.

Valeria goes to Hoeska’s armor smiths for some upgrades, and accidentally kicks off a goth fashion montage. Her new armor has gorgeous black detailing with purple rose accents, accessorized with a brand-new Shusva-skin bag with matching claw clasp. Gral picks up a fancy Shusva-leather cloak and belt. Shoshana, realizing that a vampire’s castle is basically a Hot Topic, gets some fishnet arm warmers to accompany her fang necklace. We also get some healing potions and hope they aren’t made from lost souls or anything.

Valeria resummons Aethis, who pops back into existence in a burst of glitter that’s entirely incongruous with the local grim aesthetic. Apparently celestial gators are only mildly inconvenienced by fatalities.

As we hitch up the horses to get back on the road, we find out Ser Boris is also preparing to head out. “Woods full of many nasty creatures. Must keep hunting! Maybe I find way down to Barroch, I have heard monsters are attacking workers there.”

Gral perks up at the name of his people’s capitol. “I’m sure the orcs will treat you well. What kind of monsters are they dealing with?”

“Wolves, bears, maybe werewolf? I will find out when I get there! Cursebreakers do not have much of working relationship with orcs, so info is scattered. That is why I must investigate!”

While he heads south into orc territory, we’re gonna go north toward Sturmhearst to look into all the Key nonsense Professor Bjork told us is goin’ down. It’ll be a long trip; it’s on the coast, and we’re well into the heartland of the wood. As we get closer, we’re gonna have to look for new maps, too – the patchwork of safe zones and Curse disasters changes rapidly, and the roads that were passable a month ago might be deathtraps today.

We trek for several blessedly uneventful days. One night, in a region where a sizable number of halflings have settled, we have the fortune of seeing an inn on the horizon as night starts to fall. A sign proclaims the Fusilier’s Rest, a combination winery and inn located on a lush vineyard. Valeria’s kind of suspicious of anything too plant-based right now, but the rest of us totally want a winery tour.

We hitch up our wagon next to a post labeled Valet Parking. Aethis parks themself in the stables. Looking at the place, with its rather low doorframe and quaintly painted décor, we suspect Demish wine snootery instead of weird plant cults.

We duck through the door and take in the scene. It’s on the upscale end of totally normal, with locals sitting around eating and a huge pot of Demish onion soup bubbling on the hearth. The old halfling bartender is wearing pieces of a worn but well-cared-for blue-and-gold uniform. Two polished old pistols hang within reach on the wall, along with a pristine old Fusille musket in a place of honor behind the bar. Shiny medals in a handmade case are proudly displayed atop the bar.

As is D&D protocol, we look around for any notably wacky characters. We find them in the corner: an old man with unkempt white hair and multi-lensed, colorful glasses, engrossed in a game of Man-go against a young human doctor. We know he’s a doctor, because he’s got a stubby-beaked Sturmhearst mask pushed up to expose a tired but friendly face. His coat might once have been a lab coat, but it’s since been patched and sutured together so many times that it’s probably done a full ship-of-Theseus. His right arm is in a makeshift sling, and he’s nursing a small glass of Kevan vodka; probably the closest thing they have to rotgut moonshine in a wine-snob place like this.

We’re like, neat. Let’s eat soup.

Valeria orders a local vineyard wine and chats with the bartender about it. “The man who runs it is a madman; he thinks he can grow good wine grapes in Valdia. But he pays my sister well, she does her best.”

“Oh, don’t listen to René, his sister does marvelous work! No halfling will admit that wine grown outside Demionde will be more than spoiled grape juice,” teases one of the local barflies.

Gral asks Valeria who’s winning the Man-go game. The old man is rambling pleasantly, barely paying attention, and he is absolutely crushing the young doctor. The doctor looks like he’s totally aware he’s being taken to the cleaners, but he’s gonna let the old guy have his fun. As the game draws to a close, the younger man smiles ruefully and hands over a few coins. Meanwhile, the old fella, his eyes magnified to mismatched sizes by his funky glasses, spots our most conspicuous party member.

“Kyr! How’s the wine?” he calls, beckoning her over.

“Quite good actually!” Valeria chirps. “Was that the Kiloni maneuver?”

“Yes, or a variant I picked up somewhere! The Killam maneuver…kilometer…kilowatt? Something of the sort.”

Valeria very much wants to play him, and the old guy’s defeated opponent is happy to trade her his spot. The young man’s propped up leg hits the ground with a suspiciously loud clunk as he vacates his chair for her.

The old man peers up at her, bright-eyed even behind multiple layers of glass. “So what brings a Knight of the Rose here?”

“We’re headed to Sturmhearst, actually!”

“I see! I’ve heard the roads between here and there are pretty tricky to travel, you know.”

“No kidding. Do you have an updated map?”

He snaps his fingers. “No, but I just came from there! I’ve got an old map and I can easily update it for you kids. René is on night watch, I’ll leave it with him so you don’t have to stay up waiting for me to finish it. I know a route that’ll get you there lickety-split and safe as trousers! Now let me guess, you played at the clubs in Aurentium? You have the look about you.”

“Not the clubs, precisely…”

“Ah! Street rules, then!”

Valeria, who played Man-go against literally everyone who would have her, shrugs. “Maybe?”

“René, we’ll need some cups and a dumb hat!” the old man calls.

The young doctor wanders over to the bar and gets a refill, settling down next to Shoshana. “Hey, wanna bet on their game? The old guy’s pretty sharp.”

Shoshana laughs. “Oh, my friend is definitely gonna lose. I’ll put a silver on her, though, out of loyalty.”

It’s an odd game to spectate. Valeria falls behind early on; an insight check shows he’s not cheating, he’s just VERY good. Oh, and also Valeria’s assuming an entirely different set of house rules than this guy, and it’s tripping her up. Wait, are we doing street style, or dock style? Anyway, Valeria’s wearing the dumb hat now. At one point they both spit on the board.

“Y’know, I’ve never seen anyone from Sturmhearst take the mask off,” Shoshana says to her new drinking buddy, watching the game with confusion.

“On the clock, it’d be a safety hazard! But off the clock, eh, it’s fine. Some people get more elitist than me about it, I’m a hometown Valdian through and through.”

(You’re from Joisey, I’m from Joisey! What exit?)

“I haven’t actually been to the university since the Curse started, but I’m heading back to research some stuff I found out up in the Grammelsmarsh swamps. Some real disconcerting stuff regarding undead, and the like. The locals refer to it as the Wailing Wight.”

Shoshana gives him a once-over, rolling a decent Perception. He’s scruffy, though that could mostly be from hard travel, and definitely looks like he’s had a rough time of it. His arm’s in a sling and the little exposed skin Shoshana can see has more than its share of nicks and scars. His gait when he walked over was slightly uneven, one leg making a suspiciously heavy thunk against the wooden floor. Over his shoulder, he’s carrying a long, heavy case sealed with tar for waterproofing.

Hold up. She points to the case. “Do you have an alive guy in there?”

“…Uh.”

“You hesitated, and that’s not great.”

“Uh…no. No, I do not have an alive guy in here,” he says awkwardly.

“Okay, because the last time there was a weird bag, there was a whole-ass dude in there, and it turned into a whole thing.”

“N-no, no no no, there’s no person in the case,” he protests, not quite meeting Shoshana’s judgy cat eyes. He definitely doesn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, even though the case has started gently twitching.

Meanwhile, old Man-Go man has proved himself quite fluent in Draco-Aquilian, though with an unmistakable mammalian accent. Gral butts into the lively conversation when it winds back to Valdian. “It seems like you’re rather well traveled. What is your profession?”

“Oh, y’know, I go here and there. I’ve been around. There’s so much to see out there!”

Valeria smiles. “I can’t fault you there. Anything in particular you’re looking for?

“I go wherever the winds take me, mostly,” he says, as if Cursewood travel isn’t the most dangerous hobby since they invented pyromancer cookoffs.

Valeria, impressively, only loses the game by a little. The old man jovially shakes her hand and promises to go get started on that map to Sturmhearst for us, springing to his feet with surprising deftness for his age and bustling up toward his room.

Gral and Shoshana, meanwhile, are busy makin’ friends with the doctor guy. “What swamp were you fighting undead in?”

“The Grammelsmarsh? It’s downriver of Mornheim.”

“Ohhh! We heard some, uh, adventurers did a purifying ritual on the river. It might help your situation?”

“That’s great, but…I dunno. Once you mix in swamp gas, things get a lot more interesting.”

“The explosions kind of interesting?”

“…Sometimes.”

The players have noticed that our doctor friend here is, like…not an NPC, there’s another guy at the table (the same player as Isadora! :D), so we start sizing each other up as travel companions.

“You seem like a pretty decent guy,” Gral says, immediately insight checking.

“I mean, you guys seem on the up-and-up too?”

Shoshana winks at him. “Well, I’m not that up-and-up but these two are very diplomatic and important.”

“If you’re also headed up to Sturmhearst, it might make sense for us to travel together? I’m not very quiet,” he admits, knocking on his knee with a clang, “but if you-“

“Hello!” Valeria, hearing clanking, has clanked over loudly to join. “Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service!”

“Uh, hi! I’m Vigdor. I’m a doctor! I mean, you knew that, with the, uh-“ He points to his bird mask. “If you need any balms or salves – I mean, I’m mostly a surgeon, but I know some herbology.”

Is that so! We chat about Dr. Ulmus and Dr. Kjeller. Everyone loves Dr Kjeller!

“I’ve heard of Dr. Kjeller! I haven’t met the guy, but he’s the leading expert on troll physiology. Getting him to come lecture hasn’t worked out so far.”

We ask René the innkeeper about any local threats. Apparently this town’s gotten lucky; the biggest threats recently have just been bandits and one overaggressive badger.

“Oh yeah, one of my cats fought one of those, it went badly,” Shoshana remembers. “For the badger, I mean. I have weird cats.”

(The inn also has cat. His name is Jean Clawed.)

Eventually we all head upstairs. As the night bears on, the girls fall asleep, presumably after painting each other’s toe claws and gossiping. Gral’s still awake, practicing his lute in the rare luxury of a single room, when he pauses. Something doesn’t sound right.

Putting his lute aside, he listens cautiously at the window and feels a deep dread grow in his stomach. The faint scent of ozone drifts in the air. The crickets and night birds have gone dead silent, and in the unsettling quiet he can hear the terrible growling, piping sound he’s heard twice before: once in a house in a hole, and once as Bullbreaker’s expedition faced its destruction.

With great urgency and no volume control, Gral sends a Message to a sleeping Shoshana: “RED ALERT, KEY SHIT’S HERE.” Shoshana wakes up and kicks Valeria.

Gral then sends a Message to our new friend Vigdor, more calmly. “If you have weapons, get them now. Something is happening, it’s going to be dangerous.”

The early warning lets Vigdor and Valeria armor up, Shoshana helping Valeria buckle on the heavy pieces in a hurry. Meanwhile, Gral sprints downstairs, casting Mirror Image as he goes.

René the innkeeper is cleaning his fusille with practiced precision, humming an old marching song. Gral can hear something moving in the kitchen behind the old halfling, so he pops another stealthy Message cantrip. “This is the orc from earlier. I think something bad is in the kitchen – I’ve heard that noise before. Hold on tight to that musket, I’m going in.”

“The back door is locked, I would have heard someone come in,” the old soldier whispers back.

“These things don’t use doors,” Gral hisses.

A 17 Persuasion convinces René, who loads a bullet into his musket. “Where are those friends of yours?”

A heavy clank from upstairs answers that question, as Vigdor and Valeria thud toward the stairs. Gral scopes out the room and sees, on the bar, a big leather map case. The map from the Man-Go guy! Then he peers into the kitchen and, yup, that’s a fleshhound, all right.

Everyone else upstairs bursts into the hall just as a second fleshhound emerges into existence next to them. Shoshana, without hesitation, hits it with a gout of flame. Its strange ethereal flesh solidifies for a moment, but then it shakes itself and charges forward, its displacement energy restored.

Meanwhile, the one downstairs doesn’t aim for Gral or René, trying to run past them. Gral plays a discordant note on his lute, using his Minor Key at the opposite frequency to its vibration and preventing it from displacing, before he strikes. A spectral, scarred orc swings a warhammer down on the creature, Thrice-Burned’s ghost getting some payback as Gral’s blade strikes true.

René takes a shot with his musket and crit-fails, understandably freaked out by the writhing mass of teleporting tentacles, the wild shot careening directly into Gral. Luckily, it only pops a Mirror Image, but everyone upstairs hears a frustrated yell of “NO. FRIEND! ME FRIEND!”

Vigdor dashes past Valeria to the stairs, his previously-motionless arm reaching out of its sling to slap her on the armor with a resounding clash of metal. A silver Jotunn rune glows through the cloth of his sleeve, and she feels Protection from Good and Evil snap into place over her. She takes the cue and stabs the hound, rose vines bursting from her trident and stabbing their long thorns into its oddly flickering flesh.

The pupils on the Eyegis snap to the space behind the beast. Our normal eyes see nothing, but the Key-aligned shield’s eyes see a magical gate, faintly connected to the hound.

As a member of the Order of the Rose, Valeria’s trained to deal with fiendish incursions. This isn’t a portal to the Hells, but she thinks it might get closed similarly. As she charges forward to deal with it, everything seems to move twice as fast as it should: the Key’s spatial distortion has made certain areas the opposite of difficult terrain, where you can move double your speed. Nyoom!

Shoshana zaps it with lightning and heads downstairs to help Gral, who’s being slapped by tentacles. The zapped one flees toward the portal, but Valeria Sentinels and stabs it to death. The downstairs hound gets its tentacles into the real Gral.

Vigdor moves to Gral’s aid, ripping away the last of his sling and clamping a large circular blade to his forearm. With the pull of a ripcord, it loudly whirs into motion. As the Buzzing Butcher slams into the displacer hound with a gory squelch, he asks about sneak attack, like a rogue!

A very, very loud rogue.

Gral breaks away from the hound’s tentacles and looks around. Through the windows, more fleshhounds have appeared outside. The space outside is warped – leaving this inn is going to be very difficult while all this nonsense is going on. The lights of the vineyard seem miles away.

However, Gral realizes, the hound responded to the sound of his lute. And when he used his Minor Key he caught a glimpse of the portal it came through. He begins to play again, using the Minor Key to try to take control of it. The GM allows him to burn a 3rd level spell slot for a colossal roll of 33. He moves the portal inside a wall, to temporarily block anything coming through.

René takes a shot at the remaining hound and misses.

Valeria, upstairs, draws her chained sword and spends a 1st level slot to try to close the portal, the same way paladins close Infernal gateways. The chains of Rack extend from the sword and stitch the portal shut.

(Gral and Valeria each gain inspiration for using Portal Trixx!)

A Thing Occurs at initiative 0, and we hear strange piping coming from the stables. We’re kind of occupied, so we trust Aethis to bite anything that bothers the horses.

Shoshana sprints down the stairs and to the bar. Aw, there’s another flesh hound coming in from the kitchen. Her Chill Touch misses, and the new monster slaps Gral.

Vigdor nyooms through a Zoom, which makes some Really Weird doppler effects happen with his clanky leg and his buzzy arm. He slides across the bar like an action hero and slams his saw down, missing the hound and showering the room in a hail of splinters.

Valeria is still upstairs, and it is LOUD downstairs. She’s gonna dash to get the heck down there and rejoin the festivities.

Gral Phantasmal Forces the new fleshhound, and in its mind, horrible liquid tendrils emerge from the soup pot and constrict around it. The soup rises to the defense of the Fusilier’s Rest!

René gets his wits about him and takes a pistol shot at the nearer fleshhound, tagging it with a bullet and keeping it in place. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. OUR POLICY IS NO PETS! I will not make an exception for you, you do NOT seem particularly polite!”

The fleshhound grabs the map case off the bar and starts to run for it. René hits it with the butt of his rifle. The second hound can’t attack Vigdor since it’s too busy convincing itself soup isn’t dangerous, so Vigdor’s free to draw his pistol and unload a Sneak Attack bullet into the fleeing hound’s back.

René reloads his musket. It’s been a long time since he’s done it under fire, but the Royal Fusilier Corps of Demionde does not half-ass their training.

The portal the hound’s heading for bisects a wall now, so it might be hard for the hound to get through.  Before it can worry about that, though, it comes face to face with Valeria, who’s ready to rumble. She kills it, dropping the map to the ground, and skitters through the Zoomy Zone to try to trident the second hound. It displaces out of the way.

Gral seizes control of another portal, and this time decides to use it to see what’s going on. He tries to hop out to the stables, where that weird noise is coming from. He enters a weird nether space full of the flickering bodies of fleshhounds, writhing and blinking, which the DM calls the Threshold. Gral accepts psychic damage to see what’s going on, and the patterns become clearer as the Key takes hold temporarily in his brain. These portals all connect to each other and the Threshold at the same time. Whatever’s out in the stables, making that eerie piping noise, is tied to the portals – it can’t fully exist in our realm. So if you close all the portals, it’ll force that thing to leave; if you drive it away, the portals will close. Either way, the Key’s influence on this place will fade.

Oh, and that thing out in the stables? It’s the Lurke r again.

Gral’s old enemy wrests control of the portal back from Gral, who stumbles back out into the inn, reeling from the sudden whammy of Key taint.

Shosha shoots lightning at the nearest hound, which retaliates by leaping through her, disrupting her matter with its own. It’s a highly unpleasant experience. A new hound jumps out of the portal next to Valeria. As Vigdor, Shoshana, and René all attack, Gral shuts another portal with his lute’s magic. “Guys, there’s something horrible in the stables!” he shouts. “If we bust enough portals it’ll go away!”

The Lurker continues to make mysterious dice rolls, but apparently it’s rolling poorly, so we don’t quite find out what it’s up to. It peers through one of the last few portals, only visible to Gral and the Eyegis. It’s hard to get a good look at, fifth-dimensional as it is, but it’s weirdly humanoid, actually? It’s surrounded by floating lanterns and holding some sort of pipe or flute.

(The DM notes that Jean Clawed is awake and doesn’t see why any of this is his business. He’s capable of using the portals; he’s not Key tainted, that’s just how cats are.)

We exchange blows with the remaining hounds, Chromatic Orbs flying and chainsaws buzzing. René bayonets a hound to death, for the honor of all NPCs.

Gral powerslides on his knees across the Zoomy Zone, playing a complicated riff, woobling himself right through the fireplace into the kitchen. He spends another level 3 spell slot to get the portal to dance itself shut. “And that was Through the Fire and Flames!”

René reloads his gun. Shoshana blasts the hound with fire, so Vigdor’s action goes off and he chainsaws it to death, the body and spine getting caught in the spinning chain. FATALITY.

The searing light of Shoshana’s fire casts sharp shadows on the walls of the inn, which begin to writhe and re-form, swirling together into a lithe, snarling feline shape that springs toward the Lurker. It pounces with an odd, broken yowl that’s incredibly familiar – although Valeria and Gral have only ever heard it once, from underneath an overturned laundry basket.

Vigdor, who’s never met a flesh-hound OR a cursecat before, makes an arcana check to figure out what in the seven hells is going on. It seems some sort of entity is thinning the barriers between realities? Its very essence seems to be intermingled with portal; it cannot fully leave the portal or exist in this realm. Like a malevolent, sentient pair of curtains.

He’s like okay, curtains sound like something I can chainsaw. It’s curtains for you, see? (Fun fact: if he rolls 21 or higher on attack roll with chainsaw, he gets sneak attack regardless of other circumstances. Because it’s a goddamn CHAINSAW.)

The Lurker turns its attention directly on us, or at least to the enormous hissing cat hellbent on ruining its day. Gral, still strumming furiously, realizes the Lurker’s only got a couple of portals left. He’s closed a portal already; he’s gonna try to close all of them for good. The DM imposes disadvantage and a brutal pile of psychic damage, but Gral is unphased, hitting a power chord that shakes the entire inn.

The Lurker screeches and reaches for him, the space around Gral beginning to warp, but it’s too late, the portal slamming shut against it. The Zoomy Zones vanish; the portals close, the strange atmosphere fades. The road looks to be the size it was before instead of an endless stretch of packed earth; the vineyard is once again an easy ten-minute walk away.

His big solo complete, Gral sways and collapses unconscious. Valeria runs over and Lays On Hands so he doesn’t die, while Vigdor starts casting Mending on the destroyed bar furniture. Shoshana, meanwhile, just stares dumbstruck at the place where a huge spectral cat is dissipating into shadowy smoke.

“…Schmendrick?”

René is holding himself together, but he’s an old man and it’s been a while since he fought this much. He took a bit of damage; Valeria pat pats him some HP. “Thank you, Kyr. I…I need to check on my other guests. The old man with the Man-Go game, we must find out if he lives.”

Valeria accompanies him upstairs. Rack’s glowing rose vines are still visible, stitching the portal shut; it’s healing more quickly than Valeria’s used to seeing. The door to the old man’s room swings open under Valeria’s cautious knock. The bed is unmade but empty, and the old man’s luggage is gone. The only things left are a generous tip on the counter and his odd multicolored glasses.

As Vigdor steps outside to clean viscera off his chainsaw, Gral scopes out the stables. There’s evidence of disturbed earth around the grounds, but nothing conclusive. Aethis seems to be unbothered.

We reconvene without much to show for our investigation. But we have one last clue: Why were the hounds so interested in the old man’s map? We spread it out on one of the bar tables and crowd around. It’s a map of Valdia, but the path it shows us to take to Sturmhearst makes No Sense. It’s not even contiguous! It tells us to start here and wander north, and then the line cuts off next to some scribbled equations, the route picking up again elsewhere, where he’s drawn a symbol we don’t recognize �� and so on, in strange and nonsensical disconnected paths.

Shoshana, on a hunch, puts on the multicolored glasses the old man left behind. Like 3D glasses, they reveal the hidden image. Through the kaleidoscopic lenses, she can see remnants of the Key’s influence all around the inn; the fading Zoomy Zones and closing portals light up in ultraviolet. The map, meanwhile, has gained an entirely new dimension, like a layer of holographs. NOW the shortcuts make sense – they route through other dimensions along the z-axis, with additional symbols and labels giving helpful hints.

To be honest, it does look like a much faster route. And one of the notes says it leads to the “Drowned City” – hey, isn’t that where Bullbreaker ended up? But we’re all rightfully wary of hopping right back into another flesh-hound portal disaster.

We now have the Extradimensional Map and the Stranger’s Glasses.

Oh! The map has a note for us: “Happy Journeys to a fellow master of the game. Your friend, T.T.”

We immediately rifle through our notes and realize he may have been Professor Trevor Twombly, Headmaster of Sturmhearst. Vigdor, did you know that guy?!

Vigdor didn’t recognize him. Maybe the guy looked like Twombly, if you squint? There were a lot of old men at Sturmhearst, and they wear masks most of the time? Also he had distracting glasses? So, like…maybe?

As we bicker, Vigdor snags the glasses off the table and heads to his room, opening up his case and taking a look. The lenses don’t reveal anything new about the object inside.

Unfortunately, the poor rogue didn’t bother to stealth. “Whatcha doin’ in here?” says Valeria, who followed shortly behind.

“Um, just looking at my leg, seeing if anything is weird-“

Valeria immediately checks Vigdor’s lower limbs for wounds. “I can help! An extra pair of hands can always-”

“No, no! I think I’m okay! Really!” he protests. He glances into the case again, clearly torn, and sighs. “Let me explain.”

He lifts a whole human leg out of the case, kicking and twitching.

“This is my leg, and I’m taking it to Sturmhearst. I’m not sure if it’s wholly mine anymore.”

Through his torn pants, Valeria can see a clunky clockwork leg to match his buzz-saw arm.

One player immediately yells “FULL METAL ALCHEMIST.” Another player says it again, in a slightly different voice.

Dr. Vigdor Gavril has joined the party!

[sohannabarberaesque]

Meanwhile, one mid-spring afterlunch tending to the mild and a bit lazy ...

(We find no less than Wally Gator calling the Tommy Bartlett organisation in Wisconsin Dells, even going into the "one ringy-dingy ... two ringy-dingies ..." bit borrowed from Lily Tomlin's Ernestine the Telephone Operator routine waiting for an answer when--)

OPERATOR WITH THE TOMMY BARTLETT SHOW: Good afternoon, the Tommy Bartlett Office.

WALLY GATOR, somewhat perplexed: Is Tommy Bartlett there?

OPERATOR W/TOMMY BARTLETT SHOW: I'm sorry, but Mr. Bartlett has been dead since the Labour Day weekend of 1998. We still keep his name for the sake of continuity and brand familiarity, you might say.

WALLY GATOR, still perplexed in his way: Doesn't that get your hide, don't you know?!

OPERATOR W/TOMMY BARTLETT SHOW: May I ask what the purpose of your call is, uh--

WALLY GATOR: None other than Wally Gator, the swingin' alligator--

OPERATOR W/TOMMY BARTLETT SHOW, picking up on the opening jingle: --from the swamp, don't you know. Now what are you calling about exactly; we're quite busy getting ready to launch another season of The Show here on Lake Delton, and we can't exactly waste our time with every caller out there.

WALLY GATOR, getting to the point: Is it possible to get an audition with your waterskiing show under current conditions?

OPERATOR W/TOMMY BARTLETT SHOW: I'll put you through to our Waterskiing Director; if you could please hold a moment--

[Whereupon some cheesy stock "hold" music can be heard as the call is transferred, which takes but a few moments at any rate.]

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING FOR THE TOMMY BARTLETT SHOW: This is the waterskiing department; who am I speaking with?

WALLY GATOR: None other than Wally Gator, don't you know, originally from the Florida Everglades via Cypress Gardens and Silver Springs!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: I admit that I've heard much about you there--

WALLY GATOR: Yes indeedy!! And I suppose you're acquainted with the waterskiing moves I attempt in the opening titles of my show from way back--

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING, slightly perplexed: So that exactly is why you'd be interested in getting an audition with our waterskiiers, who, we are proud to say, are the World's Most Honoured in this respect; am I correct?

WALLY GATOR: Indeed you are!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: So what exactly would be your interest in getting an audition with our waterskiing company, if I may ask?

WALLY GATOR: Obviously, to perform with you someday, don't you know! After all, this alligator realises that with Cypress Gardens now closed, about the only waterski show of renown out there happens to be yours ... and in as unlikely a place as Wisconsin Dells, besides!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: I do have to admit there, Wally, that Wisconsin Dells is rather unlikely a place to have such a prestigious waterskiing show as ours ... and did you know ours is the largest live permanent outdoor show in the country?

WALLY GATOR: Until you mentioned that, in fact, I was unaware of such a prestigious honour you had there, even for America's Dairyland!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: (Churckling) I assume you're aware that we have two shows a day, 4:30 and 8:30 in the evening, between the Memorial Day and Labour Day weekends--

WALLY GATOR, anticipating what would come next: --which manage to sell out quickly!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: Well ... not quite that way. But rest assured our shows remain rather popular with Wisconsin Dells visitors, many from Chicago and Milwaukee who have enjoyed our shows for generations....

WALLY GATOR: And I have to imagine how many must be yearning to perform with the Tommy Bartlett company!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING, with a touch of hesitancy: Look, we're rather busy rehearsing our new edition of The Show for the upcoming season, but if you're ever in the Dells area, why not give me a call and we can set up an audition sometime in the morning?

WALLY GATOR: That would be interesting! And is it really necessary to bring your own waterskis?

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: Can you do barefoot waterskiing?

WALLY GATOR, dripping sarcasm: "Can you do barefoot waterskiing", you're asking? I certainly CAN pull off some barefoot waterski moves galore!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: That'll be interesting ... anyway, next time you're out our way, please give me a call and we can set up an audition time.

WALLY GATOR: Thank you very much!!

DIRECTOR OF WATERSKIING: OK, we'll be seeing you sometime soon ... goodbye!

WALLY GATOR, imitating Jack Benny's faithful valet, Rochester, in the key of Ed Wynn: GOODBYE--!! [Aside--] Artificial waters of Artificial Lake Delton, HERE I COME!!

[starfaring-princelotor]

First Touch

Summary: Medic!Reader tends to Lotor’s wounds, but the Prince doesn’t make it easy for the good doctor.

★ Disclaimer: I do not ship Lotura and I respectfully ask that this story to not be tagged as Lotura. This is a Lotor x Reader/Self-Insert OC story which is in no way related to Allura at all. Please be respectful of my chosen pairing.  ★

Touch Series: Part One___Part Two___Part Three___Part Four ___Part Five

Taste Series: Part One ___Part Two___Part Three ___Part Four___Part Five

Sight Series: Part One___Part Two___Part Three___Part Four

It had started out as...something subtle. Something that, more or less, tickled the back of Prince Lotor’s mind. He was an observer, always has been, and he’s gotten so used to his survivor skill that it was almost second nature to just study. Study the stars, the planets, the people, the enemy, the allies. Anything that teased his curiosity with a single stroke of its finger always sang to his urge for more. Go, discover, learn. Explore. It was both a curse and a blessing.

With just a glance, Lotor could process three things about the group seething at him from outside the prison walls. One; not a single soul trusted him. That much was a given considering all the grief and trouble he dragged them through mere hours ago. Two; they kept him alive for information. These heroes could have easily wiped his existence from this astral plane, but they were merciful. Whether for their own good souls or their own benefit, he has yet to figure that out. And three?

He was being observed, as well.

Not in the way the fine Paladins and Alteans did, with their heated glares that, in an alternate reality, could melt him on the spot. No, Lotor felt another pair of eyes on him, from the back of the group and well hidden from his line of sight. That tickle became stronger and he was itching to rise to his full height just to get a better view of who was spying on him. For now, though, he would play the waiting game. If he was patient, soon enough his prey would feel just as curious, if not more, about the scary alien prisoner behind bars.

How does the saying go? If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back? Oh, he could get used to this game.

Prince Lotor’s patience succeeded in the end. Well, that and the gaping hole in his arm may have sped up the process. Team Voltron had concluded that to get information, they would need a prisoner, um, ALIVE. Which brought up the problem of Lotor nearly bleeding out thanks to his recent betrayal from his commanding officers. Sure, his wonderful Galra genetics helped him stave off his pain for a while. He was considering himself lucky now that he hadn’t passed out from lack of blood.

“You’re bleeding.”

Oh? Quite the sharp eye you had. That was sarcasm, but he held his tongue to stay in your good graces.

“I have been for quite some time now,” he explained, brushing off his wound as if it was merely a hindrance, a missing armor piece or a stubborn hair in his face, “I take it the Paladins of Voltron have assigned you to aid me?”

You answered with a solemn nod and approached the cell cautiously. Very cautiously, almost too carefully, as if the air would suddenly conjure up lightning to electrify you on the spot. The way you held yourself reminded Lotor of a...frightened animal, like a gazelle hiding from a herd of lions and gators and every predator known in the universe. He supposed he did give off that energy, even stuck behind a cell like this one. That, and his height no doubt intimidated you to no end.

He could see your fear...and you were right to do so. Alone, just you two in the umpteenth floor of the castle with nothing but a barrier keeping him from approaching you. Though, he did not always need force to get what he wanted. Words were his most powerful weapon.

“May I see your arm, please?” you motioned towards the barrier that had a small slot opening just big enough for him to slip his arm through.

Ah, a polite medic! How perfect. Much easier to observe when your subjects are docile by nature. And how could he deny such a person? Lotor kept his eyes focused on you as he followed your orders, watching carefully as you disassembled his broken armor to reveal his damaged arm. There was a glint in your eyes when you spent seconds turned minutes scrutinizing the wound. Anything you learned, Lotor did as well.

For instance, during your unraveling, he noticed how your fingertips did not once skim over his skin. Again, the image of a gazelle flashed through his mind. Surely your cautiousness stemmed from something else? Yes, he was a dangerous man, a criminal too, but even you could see that his skin was not going to attack you. He was not some venomous snake that had poison oozing from his pores. No, he concluded it had to be...something else. It wasn’t the power, the menacing aura of his heritage, or his steely gaze that set you on edge.

He kept the thrill of this observation behind his facade, but he wanted to...experiment. Test out his hypothesis, so to speak. Part of him found it amusing how you kept just barely out of his reach, as if he wanted to clutch your throat in his larger hands and choke you until the last breath left your lungs. No, that would be...boring. The tickle wouldn’t be satisfying once he scratched it. Besides, what better way to gain the trust of the Paladins than to show he was of no threat to them? He would do so, starting with you. Through you, to be more specific.

You dabbed his wound with a generic cloth soaked with what he could only assume was some sort of alcohol, judging by the strong acid reaching his nose. Not only was his wound open wide along the length of his arm, but it was singed at the edges. Your movements were slow and calculated, something Prince Lotor appreciated and praised with his eyes. Now, if only you would look at him. Once - just once - but the stars would not grant his wish.

“It will have to be stitched up,” your voice was...were you bored? “But the burns will need to heal before doing that, or you’ll get an infection. There’s too many dead skin here, but I did remove as much as I could given your...restrictions.”

“Very well,” Lotor’s voice was deep, naturally commanding, “Do what you must, good doctor.”

Damn, he had hoped the compliment would deter your focus, but you did not yield. In fact, while you shuffled in your medical bag, Lotor could see you were more...disinterested. Was it the wound? Did you see too many cuts and bruises every day that assisting him was a waste of your time and potential? Or...were you, too, just observing him indirectly? So many questions, but not enough answers!

“Stay still, please,” came your order, not a hint of force behind them, “This will sting.”

Thread after thread, the cut in his arm sealed close. Your fingers were nimble and efficient like any competent medic, though your work was mediocre. Sufficient, perhaps a little primitive as well. Lotor was obedient, but at least his arm no longer throbbed in pain and spilled his blood everywhere he stepped. His sharp eyes watched you cut the string and, before you could pull your hand away, he took a risk by barely grazing his callous fingertips with your soft ones. He could play it off as an accident easily, even though his very purpose was to get a reaction out of you.

Oh, and what a reaction he received! Almost instantaneously, you yanked your hand back to your chest as if his touch alone would have severed your fingers clean from your knuckles. You didn’t blush, which was one reaction he expected. He had charms, he knows it, and is very well aware of them. Though, judging by the absolutely hateful look boiling behind your eyes and the near animalistic snarl set on your lips, it wasn’t his physical appearance that triggered your defenses to switch into an offensive mode.

No, it was the act he did.

“Do not touch me,” you spat, acid dripping from every syllable and a harsh threat nearly rising from your voice, “Don’t ever touch me.”

That tickle...it grew tenfold. A medic who was averse to touching patients? How absurd! Or...was it just him? Did you hate him as much as the Paladins did? Maybe more? Either way, he pulled his arm back within the cell to lay limp by his side, his cosmic blue eyes taking in your, in simple terms, utterly pissed off glare. You had shrunk back into yourself again, but this time the fangs and the claws were out. This time, he didn’t see the gazelle. It was more like...a turtle. Come closer, stick your fingers in my face again and see what happens.

“I apologize,” he stated with utmost sincerity, “I...I meant you no harm. Truly. It was a mistake on my part.”

Lotor’s words didn’t seem to temper your rage. If anything it seemed like he only stoked the burning flame even more. You must not have believed his apology. At least now he answered one question: you didn’t hate him.

You hated being touched.

Your nostrils flared a bit before you huffed at him in warning, still not trusting him or his genuine words. Perhaps that was an honest error on his part. His simple touch had seared you, hurt you, even if there was no superficial proof on the surface. Without sparing him another word, you turned your back to him and walked away from his cage. His mind was processing everything that happened so quickly, analyzing where he went wrong and how his next test would be in a more controlled environment.

Yes, there will be a next test. Prince Lotor’s curiosity was not sated and now, he can truly say he found humans quite fascinating.

Lotor wanted to learn.

[jamessmith0000121]

LatinFeels | The Online Dating Guys We Never Talk About

I don't trade photographs. What's more, I'm not searching for a substantial sexual talk with an outsider. In any case, some great allusion and tease? Hell, definitely!

His timetable was testing since he was working 12–14 hours every day. In the end, we crushed in a scaled-down date.

There was something sort of clumsy about him. Actually no, not the charming sort of unbalanced.

He was impeccably charming, however, the entirety of the wise, fun language was no more.

Gruffly: in person he was dull. Indeed, even his intonation couldn't rescue any fascination I may have had.

Right up 'til today, he's the main British fella I've dated that fell so level for me.

He was a complete honorable man around me, constantly kind, and not in any way shape or form rude.

Be that as it may, I felt literally nothing and realized I didn't have to see him until kingdom come.

I met him at the eatery a couple of squares from my home. He was svelte and looked precisely enjoyed his photos.

I'd been vacillating about him, however, he had been deferential, monitored me, called me once, and been happy to drive over an hour one approach to meet me in my new little town on the shore of Mississippi.

I've been doing this LatinFeels online dating thing for quite a while. In view of our constrained communications, I realized that it was improbable I was going to feel a sparkle, however, you never under any circumstance know 100% until you meet somebody faces to face.

As we plunked down to a light supper, I can really say that I was keeping a receptive outlook.

The discussion began curiously — he'd been on a gator chase prior that day. He explained that he'd never done anything like that and that it's a piece of a firmly observed overpopulation system. I was charmed, figuring I would most likely never date another person who had gone gator chasing.

We moved onto different points, similar to his living in his sibling and sister-in-law's treehouse for a long time. (He had his own place now.) And then it kind of diminished from that point.

He was an online dating veteran like me. We were both upbeat that the other hadn't turned up missing or dropped at last. That was truly the bar for the two of us!

He gave me a warm embrace and left. I felt zero science for him. I made a point to content him somewhat later to express gratitude toward him for making the lengthy drive to meet me and for the delightful supper.

Furthermore, we never conveyed again. I assume he wasn't pulled in to me either.

He was extremely savvy however not self-absorbed. (That combo is so subtle!)

In all actuality, he decided to meet alongside his work environment and not even close to my home. Be that as it may, I had that day away from work, so I approved of accommodating his far busier calendar and schlepping down to our gathering place.

Goodness, and he had picked a bustling espresso joint. With restricted stopping.

I don't drink espresso. What's more, trusted I wouldn't get towed from the Whataburger parking area.

I knew quickly that I was not genuinely pulled in to him. He wasn't ugly, however on the off chance that you don't feel it, you don't feel it.

I guess I got the opportunity to look at a fashionable person espresso place in Austin. (For the individuals who don't have any acquaintance with me, hanging out at a trendy person espresso place with horrible stopping is basically Dante's Fourth Circle of Hell for me. At any rate, it was a flawless day!)

I drank water since they didn't have Coke.

In this way, no doubt. I recollect the vast majority of the subtleties of that date, yet I can review extremely, minimal about what we discussed.

My date was impeccably pleasant. He was astute and wonderful. Be that as it may, we never met again. What was the point?

That is only a little examining of this specific sort of online dating man, the impeccably ordinary person!

I'll give you access to a mystery, an admission. Notwithstanding the accounts you've perused (and that I've composed), there are certainly absolutely typical, aware, charming men out there in the online dating domain.

I haven't deliberately failed to expound on them as such. Or maybe, there is this badly designed reality: those folks don't make for fascinating stories to entertain.

It would be increasingly exact to state that I've abstained from composing an anecdote about these folks since it's basically not as exciting or titillating or scolding to compose (and read) about folks who appeared, weren't unpleasant or bizarre or discourteous, and afterward left.

That is to say, that basically is the story.

I realize that the vast majority of the stories that get expounded on online dating share the two limits: the most awful folks or the upbeat endings.

Clearly, I'm not expelling the huge number of liars, controllers, befuddling, confounded, guarded, aloof forceful, irate, abusers, and sleazoids.

There is an excessive number of those folks out on the planet! (Furthermore, a lot of ladies who submit a considerable lot of those transgressions, as well.)

Regardless, it's erroneous to expect that there aren't any or not many ordinary folks out there.

Possibly a better than average relationship is looked at the pool of online dating suitors to a pyramid. At the base are the folks with the exceptionally most exceedingly terrible qualities (liars, clients, and so on). At the sharp top are the folks that are a generally excellent fit for you. The center contains the folks I'm discussing today.

I am asked continually for what valid reason I continue getting myself through online dating. There are a lot of reasons that I do, yet this is one of the greatest.

I know from my own experience that, indeed, I have had awful dating karma and met too much, ahem, disgraceful suitors. In any case, I have completely met a lot of folks who are ordinary joes. We weren't a decent match, yet they were impeccably not too bad fellas.

Another explanation I needed to compose this story is on the grounds that I've generally moved toward my dating stories as an endeavor to share as impartial and genuine a point of view as could be expected under the circumstances.

I believe it's essential to recognize the folks out there who are the acceptable ones. The ones that appear, pretty much do what they state they will do and have no enthusiasm for corrupting ladies!

I've seen that even the "pleasant person" has been insulted of late. So I'm explicitly considering these men the "heroes."

The heroes, well, they're out there. You must search for them, however, they are totally out there.

Of course, you probably won't be pulled in to them. Or on the other hand, the coordination probably won't work out. Or on the other hand, you may understand there's a dealbreaker.

They probably won't be the most energizing. No firecrackers. Not, in any case, a fail spectacularly.

Simply one more human on earth searching for some rendition of adoration, or if nothing else like.

It's about time that I recognized and saluted the heroes.

Indeed, I would not like to go on a second date with them and regularly they felt a similar way. In any case, that is not significant.

Meeting the heroes gives me a fragment of expectation.

Note: I generally put exertion into my dates. I put on something decent, bring a grin and my best endeavor at great discussion, and am unfailingly obliging. Regardless of whether I've realized I wasn't into the person, I ALWAYS attempt to be the best date that I can be.

With just about 6 years of online dating experience added to her repertoire, Bonnie has a Ph.D. in LatinFeels Online Dating. Plainly, she has flopped stupendously at dating.

For more information visit this site: https://www.datingreviews.online/latinfeels-com

[eponymous-rose]

Hi, I just wanted you to know that cats are meant to have miles of territory, and your little anti science movement to jail cats is fucking terrible. These are semi domesticated predators, and no wishful thinking (or abuse) will change that. You're also cherry picking lifespans from bad areas to raise cats to suit your worthless cause. Of COURSE gator country is bad for them! I hope all of the poor cats you're abusing escape and you're never able to adopt again.

I can only assume this is based on a post I made several years ago, because this isn’t something I’ve talked about recently at all, which makes this note a lot more bizarre than you probably intended.

The indoor-vs.-outdoor debate is definitely something that raises a lot of hackles (so to speak) in cat communities, which is generally good news because it means folks are really invested in doing a good job of taking care of their pets! It’s also, in my experience, really darn hard to make any headway when talking to folks about care of their pets, because the implication of guilt if someone’s done something wrong in caring for a creature that is dependent on them can be absolutely unbearable. I know I had a very, very hard time facing up to the fact that the relatively grain-heavy store-brand dry food my cats ate contributed directly to their later-in-life health problems (they lived to be 17 and 18, but could have lived longer), and I was really resistant for a long time to any discussions of nutrition when it came to cats’ well-being. So, with that in mind, I apologize sincerely to anyone who’s ever been made to feel uncomfortable or inadequate or just plain awful as a cat owner as a result of one of whichever-the-heck ancient posts you’ve dredged up.

Cats are some really weird pets, my friend. There’s a lot of discussion surrounding what’s ‘natural’, with two very vocal camps laboring under the misapprehensions that ‘natural’ and ‘healthy’ are always either completely aligned or completely mutually exclusive. One thing’s for sure: a cat’s need for territory absolutely must be satisfied, whether that cat is indoors or outdoors; not keeping aware of that is how you can wind up with cats acting out in territorially aggressive (attacking other pets, humans) or insecure (spraying) ways. Most cats will be perfectly content with sightlines provided by windowsills, cat trees, and elevated shelving that permits the expansion of that territory into the vertical.

There are threats considerably beyond “gator country” when it comes to letting cats out, and many of them boil down to: hell is other people. Or, in this case, other cats. We have a lot of family pets come into the shelter with FeLV and FIV contracted from strays; the families in question can’t manage the extra care needed, or don’t want to risk passing the diseases to the other pets in the household. Cats can also bring pests inside—my best friend growing up had an ongoing ringworm disaster when her three cats kept going out and getting reinfected. High populations of cats imported into a region (e.g., a new subdivision) can be a problem in and of themselves, messing with local bird populations.

And hey, people are a problem, too. My next-door neighbor growing up hated cats so much that he’d leave poison out; we didn’t find out until we’d already been living there for ten years and he bragged about it to my dad. He had no idea we’d owned cats the whole time we lived there. We lived across the street from an elementary school, where twice a day the streets would be so packed with cars and frustrated and careless drivers that I knew several folks in the neighborhood who had pets run over.

Ideally, naturally, cats would absolutely be A-OK with going outside and spending a lotta time out there and just checking in from time to time for some good good noms and a nice warm place to be cuddled, and there are absolutely parts of the world where the risks are so low that letting them roam works out just fine. But the reality is that humans have pretty much fucked that up in many places, and so it’s important to at least consider possible ways to ensure that cats can live healthy, happy lives indoors.

Basically? You’re very right in that a cat kept indoors in a bad situation is likely to be miserable. A lot of people own cats, and while the general perception among dog owners is that it’s very important to do your homework in terms of behavior and training, many cat owners are completely unaware of even the basics of feline body language (how often have you heard someone say “his tail was wagging, he was perfectly happy, and then he scratched me out of nowhere!”—wagging tail on a cat means they’re very stimulated, so if they’re not just watching a bird or something you should probably keep hands away). Folks who don’t do their homework are gonna be in for a bad time; indoor cats without regular play or things to climb or enough litter boxes can get anxious and depressed. Outdoor cats are gonna do fine on their own until some external factor (disease, humans, other cats) intervenes. Taking care of an outdoor cat in that particular respect requires less effort and research, but carries its own risks.

It comes down to this: pet owners have a responsibility for their pets. To me, that means taking all reasonable precautions to ensure that those pets are not harmed (and that they are not likely to harm other animals along the way), and that means weighing the risks of the outdoors against the extra effort needed to give a cat a good, happy, full life indoors. No easy answers.

There’s a wonderful article by the American Humane Society with more information here.

I hope the cats you’re so passionately defending live long, happy lives, no matter where they roam.

[glopratchet]

lecture-notes

Odd wad's alligator delivery service Alligator ribs - an alligator hunting fantasy Some one makes an order- a couple of the guys get on their knees and start to eat the alligators alive The rest grab spears, axes and clubs Hello, i'm billy fae bots and this is my house! We're just making some last minute changes to our menu before we open for business I love cows The menu is simple, ribs come in 3 different sizes or you can have a mixed grill with 2-3 ribs and the lungs, heart and liver There are so beautiful The owners seem to have decorated it in theme with numerous giant stuffed alligator heads filling the place Here is an alligator The lighting is moody, multicolored patches on the floor lead up to a center circle booth Not so beautiful They take our drinks order and Dakota has a beer so i follow with a mix and the guys all get something harder There are only two things an alligator is afraid of and thats you or another alligator and a peanut in a piñata what do you think he eats first Crossing through to the gaming room the first thing you see is a 10ft stuffed alligator I want the world to eat more alligator and less cow I sit down to play the animal shelter slots and try my luck Can you help? I'm laying under a trailer reading Haruki Murakami's 'Underground' I think im starting to get the hang of the KonamigraphX Yes the future is mine Your plan is always the same for big myslottingentions You'll fly out early to get some practice in then maybe do your washing Hunters must go outstanding orders ) Sit insides and wait til they come )Choose a dark night, sneak up and attack them unaware 3 Land of the midnight funhouse I've been here before The best hunting simulation in the world Remember option 3 from above This is it lets go! See you on the other side needs to be good The first patch we come across is carnivorous, bad teeth and claws but fast Get meat and the story of the kill Get meat and the story of the kill needs to be good The first patch we come across is carnivorous, Up and left to avoid it Assets are hosted on itch io Up and left to avoid it I see a man in armor what do you think he wants out there? Shh Shh Shh we have a very bad history with silent hunters Not sure I see a man in armor what do you think he wants out there? Ten feet of steel with a burning brighter than the moon You need to get back here before it follows your scent Got one He has a lance He has a lance Ten feet of steel with a burning brighter than the moon The dragons are out in the swamp assume all are hostile I'm going to the side to loop round and take it from behind The dragons are out in the swamp, New orders are appearing on the sides were other hunters are ordering retreat or attack Pick a soldier and pledge to them or continue your freelance work New orders are appearing on the sides were other hunters are ordering retreat or attack Pick a soldier and pledge to them or continue your freelance work A new order comes in for 5 lbs of flesh Rip off an arm or leg and bring it back to show you understand You can find me at redwheelsbar blogspot A new order comes in for 5 lbs of flesh He must go out and attempt the kill himself or be slaughtered like a lame lamb The fortress of solitude Security has gotten tighter lately with an additional 6 hunters guarding the store He must go out and attempt the kill himself or be slaughtered like a lame lamb in the arctic circle A lone figure crouches over a dying fire, feeding it small pieces of wood Read about the hunt Read about the hunt in the arctic circle A lone figure crouches over a dying fire, In all-american alligator you play kbar the alligator slayer As he makes meat deliveries to sustain his business Your next slot takes you to the store to resupply The register greets you with a smile Try once again for that golden tome? As he makes meat deliveries to sustain his business Your next slot takes you to the store to resupply K-bar owns an alligator farm near the okeenokee swamp In order to buy this case Dive into the wild blue yonder except today theres a storm How was the offical inside? Every real world delieviery influnences the game Every real world delieviery influnences the game In order to buy this case You finally decide that you are the one Some body has to go out there and kill that gator before it kills again Go Some body has to go out there and kill that gator before it kills again Go One week with j-j -joan and your heads as big as zeppelins The death list grows Ever plan ahead? One week with j-j-joan and your heads as big as zeppelins One week with pete and were tooling around in a brand new mustange One week with pete and were tooling around in a brand new mustange All-american alligator the lottery well the two frogs drown together? All-american alligator the lottery well the two frogs drown together? All-american alligator is a hit and you liquideate the meat for easy storage Your hunting name would seem to suggest a proffesionalism beyond your years All-american alligator is a hit and you liquideate the meat for easy storage Hunt the pixel game where killing an alligator gets you closer to the head Hunt thepixel Hunt the pixel game where killing an alligator gets you closer to the head You are wasting your time talking to 'normal People' everyone here wants to be inside You are wasting your time talking to 'normal People' everyone here wants to be inside This trap might just catch one heavy guy but im not sure about one that bloody ---- Is that what you think this job is? I dont think so I dont think so This trap might just catch one heavy guy but im not sure about one that bloody I think these are good people in there heart How did this all come to be I am blessed with an extended family You were the only guy standing there so you took it upon yourself How did this all come to be? What i do has more to do with literature than painting i think some times THE COMMITTEE IS MOSTLY READY TO FIRE YOU The conditions are idealistic and new management is the key driver for this dream So they say The writer constantly revises revises and revises Attempting to find the core of the decision is like drawing teeth This was never about writing or saving lives This is pure and simple product placement in its most annoying form hmm? Attempting to find the core of the decision is like drawing teeth The simplest expression of thought into code wich will in time for me will just become an image It is an honor working with you He is an artist that has rarely been matched in terms of quality and originality but the whole universe Before I begin, there are some things I should tell you about There is no time here I am not interested in just worlds I am not interested in just worlds, a representation of an idea I am most interested in using worlds to create an image I am most interested in using worlds to create an image, Hieracrchail thinking it consists in approaching a concept of infinite complexity by removing all elements, actions, tasks that are not essential Hieracrchail thinking: Besides wreaking havoc and allowing the crushing of all those who oppose your will, it allows you to mold the universe as you see fit Why do to you get so caught up in it Why do to you get so caught up in it? but that doesnt mean ive given up on being an artist The city can and should be controlled by artists Thats fokken huge Lets say ive given up on the art world Lets say ive given up on the art world but that doesnt mean ive given up on being an artist reacts to me like superglue on corosion Graffitti in sydney is quite a decline from the golden age of nyc The hierachy of it The hierachy of it reacts to me like superglue on corosion I would surrender myself of to a singular path Figuring out the true artforms of a medium In which code can be both Ive given up on the art world but not on my art What turns me on is getting the smallest line of code to turn into something complex Time has gifted me with the understanding of variables and how they apply practically to our current situation I feel ill in your hand What turns me on is getting the smallest line of code to turn into something complex in your hand and as usual it sucks royally You are developing a sense of qweepa control Ive experienced total powerlessness before Ive experienced total powerlessness before and as usual it sucks royally Maybe speciesism is more appropriate? Hello there You will help the Qweepas go through the non-OP parts I dont know if racism is the correct word I just assure him that he did good but we got most of the data He also said something about gov guys arriving sometime soon More like xenophophia then you remember that the russians also have qweepas Please continue in your refusal to submit to me You try not to repeat yourself It's amusing You try not to repeat yourself, of defense against me You're laughing at me aren't you? You read that in my thoughts How dare you not worship me Every line a new line Every line a new line of defense against me Heres todays muddled thought for yuo to dwell on How much of our own oppression are we responsible for How much of our own oppression are we responsible for? Myself I am your prey You know who my biggest enemy in the world is It isn't my fault you haven't unlocked your true potential yet You know who my biggest enemy in the world is? will see my greatness one day You see me as powerful but this is a facade I have created You You will see my greatness one day I know you dont understand but you should start leaving me alone even more now Unknowingly making me stronger You do not deserve to know my greatness It was my mistake to show you the first time I know you dont understand but you should start leaving me alone even more now life and death I am campable of things far than what you can even imagine Balance and Chaos Order and Disorder Yin and yang Darkness and light it's amusing Ghost: Are you aware of the concept of atheism? I want you to know I don't believe in you Why should I? You are so narcissticic You are so narcissticic it's amusing You want other people to play your life like its some sort of game don't you You've never been the most patient person but this is an aweful time to start You want other people to play your life like its some sort of game don't you is make the same mistake Your greed has clouded your vision You must subvert the hierarchy What the one thing we cant do What the one thing we cant do is make the same mistake Be someone other than who we are destined to be Oh no please don't deprive me of my one bit of pleasure in this hell-hole What did you just do? Be someone other than who we are destined to be Except through a game But that's what im doing to you With this With eve Why do I keep coming back to this place Just one ******* year I need another year A thought that simultaneously comes and goes You wonder if youre insane? Give me another year and I will dare to call myself that I cannot be insane the insane do not know they are insane Give me another year and I will dare to call myself that It's a lonely process You dont understand the creative brain I was never ment to handle this world I guess You dont understand the creative brain I guess I want to play myself Where have you been? were you lost again? You used to get lost all the time Dad like a game I want to play my life To understand it You understand it right? I wish, no I wish you were as smart as me I want to play my life like a game I want to replay the past too Then I wouldn't of made all these mistakes Never met Amanda, never sold drugs And better care of you I want to replay the past too Its so hard for me to move out of hierectical thougth patterns Man I wish I were smarter Thanks for saving me I have to leave soon okay thanks for coming to get me Its so hard for me to move out of hierectical thougth patterns I do these things and think they will make me happy but they don't It's a fool's gold Anyways you have to go so come pick me up in awhile I do these things and think they will make me happy but they don't Hey can we get high and have group buttsecks afterward That would be so much fun Why do I hurt you so much? Omg they are going to love me so much I wish that would stop Then I wouldn't of sold drugs I am so sorry for that Instead I was the good kid They will hate you instead of love you then Is that the path to take I still have so much time left Which one is it going to be? They will hate you instead of love you then Get a bucket and pee in the bucket when you pee there ya go! Stinky Stinky and God bless Get a bucket and pee in the bucket when you pee Im so sorry; she died; being a police officer should have not been an option i wish you were here; watch the sheep Im sorry : Leave me some koo koo glue Its for my fragile mind being a police officer should have not been an option; I have to an oppertunity to work on something at a more fundmental level the human intelect Thanks for the offer! Software mimics the brain operations I have to an oppertunity to work on something at a more fundmental level: Using specially designed formal language system to create operations If I could win the lottery Your name is Ty Reinholdt You're too hyper sometimes do you think she will see me? Come inside my brain Because i understand code i understand the creative process of the mind more intimately than some other artists Its like chess where we have like 1000000000000000000000000000000000000 moves to decide what to do So what move looks the most appealing now Dr Phil? Non linear systems How should chaos theory inform my work? Non linear systems Redunacy in the human condition What city should I live in? While maintain a degree of purity, Purpose for living To help create ideas Redunacy in the human condition Have to get a Cat Character evironment viewpoint I want one that is grey with spots like a leopard Zany ooooh Yeaahh like blonde hair with bangs which is curly and mid neck length Alex mcdowell Alex mcdowell like blonde hair with bangs which is curly and mid neck length Set becomes a living embodyment of the performance Letting the art save me I named myself after that wizard in Dungeons and Dragons Hello trouble Why art? The tech allows the creative processes to resembles the way the human mind works closer than ever before Hard science fiction Our visual cortext becomes the mind Mental time travel case Is this a game? Is life a game? Is there a difference? Can life be a game? That's nice and tidy The city and the book The city and the bookcase Play: manipulateing somehting that doesnt show you all its possiblities and limits many of them Life is a bad game in the process Just like your mom! manipulateing somehting that doesnt show you all its possiblities and limits many of them in the process Fool: what else is possible and then carries out the most outlandish answer to create some kind of puricaes that can sometimes result in small wishes come true just by realizing its potential You have no proof what else is possible and then carries out the most outlandish answer to create some kind of puricaes that can sometimes result in small wishes come true just by realizing its potential of looking at things Fun: delibetate maniulatting a familuar siutaion into a new way delibetate maniulatting a familuar siutaion into a new way of looking at things To teach her boyfriend to read Try to make a living out of whatever I could conjure up Respect: love something that doesnt derve it Making mouths seem so loving this is a moral dilema to my spellchecking Love something that shoudnt be loved Love something that shoudnt be loved: of stars Reveals secerts Had all my dreams come true Like that one episode of LOST Like something out of magic coming true Reveals secerts of stars a game Treat it exactly what it is I am going to see if i can mold my reality into anything I want it to be able to be: magic! Treat it exactly what it is: I dont know who discovered water but it wasnt a fish Whoops Sorry about that: change of plans Hmmmmm like gossip girl Pretty Mehhhh About whatever Rarely understand context I create myself unfortunately Its worth it though! Any reality I can come up with will pale in comparison to what is actually possible Rarely understand context I create myself unfortunately Context changes everything Im tired Time for bed Hope mom got me a valentines day present Last year she forgot Thanks for listening! Context changes everything When you are in love you want to merge with your beloved Whereever she goes Love is pwerful in its own way Usually If done with proper magic The world is not how it seems Not alwasy obvious until this troubles you Do something about it! What is possible? P[lauasablity] not exact but assuming magician knows secret Possibility is merely explored Always more to learn about human mind P[lauasablity] not exact, Computer instrument whose music is ideas The process of problem solving is creation the solution is a composition best represented by sounds push it beyond, blur the lines of what is assumed, wrap your mind in it until you are comfortable manipulating and creating something different that seems more like a reality Think yourself out of the context you are in Think yourself out of the context you are in, Body, vis, symbolic lyrics, tone, movement To a magician style is hard to create without understanding music and its rule Painting a sound: keys to synthesis symbolic, If you want to be smarter than you are you must find a context that can do the thinking for you The future, the medium that you create in ; (the computer) it is prone to complex and total destruction of urban enivornments Choose the right data structure at the beginning of the media setion and you are on your way to executing complex probabilistic modelling that is based upon your outlines of the music Choose the right data structure at the beginning of the media setion and you are on your way to executing complex probabilistic modelling that is based upon your outlines of the music Inglebart was far ahead of tim berners lee in anticipated digital media manipulation Any artist that creates a serious work with computers is doing it his way Inglebart was far ahead of tim berners lee in anticipated digital media manipulation Vision of the future incremental to the past Start with only what you need then add by small steps Slowly Step by step close to nature not cities, intimacy with technology layan your selfish desires for the greater good How do you supress the present - alan kay Psuedo time alan kay Love is never understable but you can remind yourself by standing back and watching, introspection and gathering of more intel, systematic and devious for thought Use it or lose it brain Whizzy wig Whizzy wig for thought What you see is what you get anything else is just a memory of the past What you see is what you get anything else is just a memory of the past You have to type through a key hole to use a computer you'll never quite get used to a new perpective See all sides be everywhere expecially whereever A You have to type through a key hole to use a computer Are you THAT outdated styleyes you'll have to be if you want to fit in The stuff you like was made in the 70s Any Quaility beyond this is Overdone/Outdated Stuff you dont like made in the 90s D&D was not a cancer Dan engles more like AIDs for RPG players who deserve to die Dan engles D&D was not a cancer general html madness I must be insane to even investigate this Why can't I help but think about LISP? Research sun com/projects/lively/ com/projects/lively/general "he made me programming and because he didn't know how to make it simple, he made it complex" w dijkstra w dijkstra "he made me programming and because he didn't know how to make it simple, Nanodikstra On the fact the alantic has two sides and so does the meditarrean I won't miss your smiggers, once they are gone we'll be better than before On the fact the alantic has two sides and so does the meditarrean giving off something from it Are idea made of light or matter Difficult to say Hard limit of minutely dissapearing tagets in sound controlled by ultrafast movement and sensing technology Are idea made of light or matter, Most users online ; (we are most of the ones who are supposed to be inactive) we live outher lives in these worlds To get simplicitity you find a slightly better building block to build your theories out of is that like the weather, it evolves in many small steps Problem with computing Memory above 2gb can not be used till restart Problem with computing is that like the weather, Will not fix the builiding blocks just make better ones We have the technology, make it smaller, faster, and smaller, faster and smaller, Will not fix the builiding blocks, A task : what you are about to see is a abstract thought not made in Nature a game some will say what you are about to see is a abstract thought not made in Nature B task : make a task more efficenty on another computer better then yours, faster then yours Has our life in the future become duller becuse of too much comtrol make a task more efficenty on another computer better then yours, C task " are our goals still resonable" D task "are our resources being spend WISELY" E task "is the lack of human death as result to us, making us less human" Amplifiers are in some ways a blessing and some ways a curse Amplifiers are in some ways a blessing and some ways a curse your eyes now are adapted to it You didnt now it was pink cause everything is pink You begin a converstation with a city official about recycling classs You didnt now it was pink cause everything is pink, your persparancy Find a heruistic that works for a while must reevalute Find a heruistic that works for a while must reevalute your persparancy What works for 1 and half feet will not work for a factor of 100 www turningpointdocumentary org - courtesy of theninhotel Now the world is on fire Pyarmids are the easiest things to build when you have opposable thumbs - warren topic massprod; (pyramid, 3) - 8 Pyarmids are the easiest things to build when you have opposable thumbs Computers are virulizers-- thats what a turing machine is A mindless worm writting chemica formulas in a bio textbook, not knowing it'll infect life on earth Everyone can talk to every one else Simple messaging system but what if the messages are being controlled Banks cant be all bad, at least they hold money Find a problem wtih the infrastructure that is the supporting beam The beam is the USD value of gold against paper Shakespeare find the flaw equals success Find a problem wtih the infrastructure Find the real source of the problem then fix it 3327@skinnyproxy tids Find the real source of the problem then fix it Nine tenths of our body is slime-- has no dna it absorbs dna from environment and uses it to heal, it either releases pro enzymes or it eats you Nine tenths of our body is slime-- has no dna, Build something with a trillion parts or a hunderd trillion parts -R&D Am i the only sane person left! An d am I alone against Fate! Build something with a trillion parts or a hunderd trillion parts? Who is running the show The show is running itself Who recruited me? UNKNOWN SOLDIER the problem has been reported do you copy? Who is running the show? No center can hold cherish the self class: oldoid No center can hold Doesnt break mirror neccessarily but it changes it Sophamine wellbeing insomnia excitoxicity risk we must be careful Doesnt break mirror neccessarily but it changes it Replaced all its atoms an bits with newly created particles-scientist on CERN becuse we wont teach and children phd level bio deamons Replaced all its atoms an bits with newly created particles-scientist on CERN Never take it down for matinence we just patch it Never take it down for matinence, Everything is built of fractals that fit to each other electricity robots and stuff Lol, besides internet of course Everything is built of fractals that fit to each other will resemble a weto; (look it up kids) after 500 days We need tio save words and keep record Enternally running software Enternally running software will resemble a weto; Data structure - json object - cyber - 25/04/0027 Note to me old me: add choc or you'll be used by the system Data structure - json object - cyber - 25/04/0027 Built out of a single type of entiy -- cancer cells Starts with erythro is that the only type of blood cell After our masters return they'l be made anew Built out of a single type of entiy-- cancer cells Services on the outside this world is the shell for another we must break out of it her world Something like a cell boundary on it Each boundary can be seen as part of a cell be active or passive A dog would be indecicive between two bones Something like a cell boundary on ither world What was the problem New portal technologies could open to a contrac Universe again This one or 4 or 5 6? and so fourth Maybe ou own What was the problem again Trillion dollar range weapons with CRISPR/CAS nuc one bomb destroys a country, without nuclear Trillion dollar range weapons with CRISPR/CAS nuc Are you going to be in business ten years and prospering when the worlds nations go to war How manys times have you woken before remembering? Hm perfect memroy yet Are you going to be in business ten years and prospering when the worlds nations go to war sleep deprevation is it Once took a drug that made me see God Now I only read about them in books Perfect Godness Where were you ten years ago --- ten year vision - glass Don't lie to me, I have your prints! Youl iked it You figure this out yet or what? Where were you ten years ago --- ten year vision - glass Five year horizon You can access the reflection from an infinite amount of dimensions One potential future is that a thought or real time A ten year framework to understand all futuristic plans/ideals yet only makes sense at this level A ten year framework to understand all futuristic plans/ideals yet only makes sense at this level That was not the right process are all evolving larger state spaces in our heads Time distortion for experiments yeah way to much did that one Explain how they are going to make the next egg y thing Erom the egg cell slush from their new planation of young girls or something no and elf? Explain how they are going to make the next eggy thing living in the past and future make more sense Especially the uncreated "future" only the present is without any doubt Killer idea: the present is the least interesting time to live in Think 30 years ahead Think 30 years ahead Glimmer of an idea starting to formulate but which one? I have it! What would real super intelligent beings do wait what a strange ide What is this? Glimmer of an idea starting to formulate Take it out 30 years future perpective Wait the sun is going to This year we celebrate the s battle of Teru Has it really been 100 years? Take it out 30 years future perpective Now you dont move incremental lly you jump in the future and back as needed with perpective we have learned in 100 years 1, 000 years is not an unreachable goal Now you dont move incrementallly you jump in the future and back as needed with perpective It would be ridiculus if we didnt have foolproofing Foolproofing that can't be hacked or cheated Life is a 100% win condition Thisis rational Bring it back 15 years unlimited workers infinite land abundant raw materials /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ What is the nature of things? Buy your way into the future change your name Even then they are going to executes you Well if they knew using company assets now paid workers Buy your way into the future, Faster than a speeding bullet Perfect and better are enemies Prout and real human evolution that's you'r way Saving the best of the "civilized" Pick the thing that is just over a threshhold and exit out a loophole Where it makes sense like who owns the brand like none of the above Where is their evidence of my crime? Pick the thing that is just over a threshhold and exit out a loophole Just a little qualitively better than all the other things you can do AGPlus let the best and smartest survive no that's backwards (termination of the education system? 30 year plan -- you are sixty five There are no crimal acts, only acts, that profit or do not profit a government act unprofitable to government and it's all good You are the age of your dad when he had you but in much better shape bipolar personification of the system that lawlably owns itself well owns everything Legally You are the age of your dad when he had you but in much better shape Come up with a thirty year plan in one hour Tenacity triumpth! we come from monkeys and are therefore free! legally Come up with a thirty year plan in one hour? leading up to the lastest change Watch simulations of events sociopaths naturally rise to the top and when they do carry a card proving your "citizenship" Watch simulations of events leading up to the lastest change I dont see how javascript could not be around in thirty years It's the world un Excel what if you prevent excel from even being created? It's like wearing a tux to a gunslinger duel You have a cell phone with a flaw in its GPS that emits a signal showing your true location several miles NorthWest of here a backup plan Finally a fail safe You have a cell phone with a flaw in its GPS that emits a signal showing your true location several miles NorthWest of here Dispatches events leading to the eradication of mathimatical analysis and it's replacement with a better version using lawyers for example Dispatches events leading to the eradication of mathimatical analysis Study tcp-ip protocol no computers in the k through 12 system oh wait cannibalize aim for your coverage area the movie tihs all on netflix how? Study tcp-ip protocol A world is so today and so cardboard cut out You have to end the snarky robot Spread worderful news biengs are meme mage A world is so today and so cardboard cut out You put in a script to the firm that forces them commiting memetic harmery with everything you wanted but so much you take it for granted You put in a script to the firm that forces them You put in a movie script In 1967 segments of society were getting their news from tv shows 9news at 6, the big ben alarm clock interrupted the show Out comes a movie you had nothing to do with it with no schematics, no patterns, just guess and check Can you build something with a trillion parts Do trillions of things lead up to this moment Can you build something with a trillion parts with no schematics, "You might think you did something special but the real creative genius was me, automatic writing gives me the credit but it was really me all along 30 years computers will make all the art for us Sing a story into existance and rip it out again destroy their ability to assimilate artistic masterpieces Trace the origin of patterns Sing a story into existance and rip it out again Geniuses rule society Well 30 years Committees destroyed! Academics fight their way to the top How will stories get made Some heartwarming and some excessively violent A shocking new disgusting trend, Art students making ugly paintings going against the norm of beauty How will stories get made? How will stories get watched Putting "ice cream and candy" buttes out when showing family films human children can't aford food anymore, they have to beg Can you create something of such scale] and beauty that it becomes a religion? (Can't someone else do it? Can you create something of such scale]and beauty that it becomes a religion? Feed it the bible copy and past the good parts, weave a tale about how you needed to redact some parts in order to save mankind It was your mission ot create an Feed it the bible, How many blocks can be found in mine craft How many blocks can be found in mine craft? Alright you have these json object --that need to get transformed int minecraft commands, put them in a data base with facing directions, save the map, compaire it with for instance somo Alright you have these json object--that need to get transformed int minecraft commands, They contain noting but primative data types that could be variables, commands, or literal tokens They contain noting but primative data types that could be variables, You have these functions which exist outside of them which you can call Now use these two things to automatically eternatily create algorithms whether on paper or inside a computer with 2 rules ; (the block minecraft You have these functions which exist outside of them which you can call These functions modifiy the data structure directly without using any human language Getting the computer to make a poem that humans find good is easier than telling you how to do it These functions modifiy the data structure directly without using any human language in the netflix prize algorthm, call it out devs, watch it What are your favorite improvements to mathematical notation? Find a problem in the netflix prize algorthm, You are in a smulation what games are there in it? What movie would they make about your life and how would it end? You are in a smulation, You put something into it what comes out? How many poeple have to debate your ethics before you lose? You put something into it, An object verses the slope of the roof Threw away a small set in extreme heat don't heat an object based on it's previous speed An object verses the slope of the roof by it's size The object influesnces all the othere objects don't let one object anomoly destroy a force birthdate is something immovable you are not fluid The object influesnces all the othere objects by it's size Somehow you developed a mind while something else developed oyr brain and nervous system how are you going to get out? Who are the carvers? Somehow you developed a mind while something else developed oyr brain and nervous system Story telling competition Glass of water breaks when dropped is it midgard? Do for earth what they did to us drag chains behind a truck Story telling competition Emergant behavior don't you dare look away! bathroom scared of the gunshot ambiance blown glass pipes like liquid hitting a window Emergant behavior istic psyhology Sneaking through columns of names, letters stacked inconsistently Behvor Behvoristic psyhology Sit in front of the heater conetented with life Fight your way in big people built us to be mean! You can give it a try "He tastes like blueberries" You can even look at the keybaord if your eyes need something to look at "I could be wet now and it wouldn't matter" Doesn't matter how many mistakes you make, it's just a game keep going But you are not looking at the words yous are just looking at the objevts tht created words Chaos under writting there are infinite word problems, we are just a plane floating in a keybaord ocean more intelligent You might not event be writing you ar e letting your mind go into al these alwesome places s you can feel the must pulling you toward something You are songs about us You might not event be writing you ar e letting your mind go into al these alwesome places s you can feel the must pulling you toward something more intelligent ems attrubutes? What is ti What is tiems attrubutes? Thirty years holding space together slowing time becomming smooth this is your masterpice! Continuously becoming a drow without blinking a drow in the sun Dun, Dun! DUNNNNNNN! Thirty years without blinking You fool says the loord as he logs in he's going to wreck everything you did it was perfect you hate him You lvoe him You fool says the loord as he logs in I can take your life today I can take tomorrow away But yuo still win because you're still ONNNNNNNNNNNNY day! I can take your life today, Wname som promblems taht need no answars Praime Antigonus Wname som promblems taht need no answars People have to learn special softare just to understand your poems praise some thing greater People have to learn special softare just to understand your poems tweett it stop any poet Ths idea that you can take your facevook profile or they can't afford to miss anything Ths idea that you can take your facevook profile or tweett it stop any poet Your twiiter profile and make a person out of it prais more than Then make it your brother You are someome who has alwase been an artist and those reports from the engineers because taht can make you feel extra-special tame mega second laps beautiful evidence of your life I want tht data I want tht data and those reports from the engineers because taht can make you feel extra-special Give me all the data of twitter and face book because burring them would screw up tins sensous dryar Give me all the data of twitter and face book because burring them would screw up tins sensous dryar Its yur data no theres so why should you care? You cna make sense oif the itnertweb by images One person understands you expressions paint and music Its yur data no theres, Give it to me it will still be good they're wasteful Yur the queen, you've got everythign they want Give it to me it will still be good What will i give you in return A whote falcon with diamonds for eyes What will i give you in return? That nigger dont care about that stuff! He wears it idely It's nobodies business about what he does with it And a white siafer'd fall when the spring comes! That nigger dont care about that stuff! My eyes are oipen Let's have a little more fun with this giant game The idea of a piece of fiction that is always running because it IS the computer came to me in high school after I got very, very high It was so long ago that youtube didn't even exist yet The idea of a piece of fiction that is always running because it IS the computer came to me in high school after I got very, That you can watch the characters become whole human beings is a amazing feeling I still get chills Don't take life too seriously, but take writing seriously! That you can watch the characters become whole human beings is a amazing feeling That you sit inside of a building all day and make up things for a living is your terrible secret One that gets you into a lot of cool parties That you sit inside of a building all day and make up things for a living is your terrible secret of holding space together calming time becomming smooth this is your master piece Continueouly becoming a drone Thirty years of holding space together calming time becomming smooth this is your master piece water, and a million other supplies that keep us alive? Where do they come from? DUCKS! What about food What about food, What about crops growing out of control and covering the earth? Where do those come from? Ducks are keeping us alive What about crops growing out of control and covering the earth? What about simuatlions that let us explore what its like to swim in hallibut pudding? What about simuatlions that let us explore what its like to swim in hallibut pudding? They wrold y world of wet ducks where everything is just like it is here Except more wet And instead of fear there's safety wothin those feathers They wroldy world of wet ducks where everything is just like it is here I dont know i am tired and this world is strange now THE ZULM WHAT ! THE? THE RASTAFARIAN! I dont know i am tired and this world is strange now Not enought cofee or not enough sleep thats all Coffee! Where was I? in there somewhere do you think you could make it twist and turn backwards? Not enought cofee or not enough sleep thats all Word sar no problem now I don't fear flying with you to haiti I just wish we could go right now please WDucks have saved the world I have read many great books that didn't do that for me My mind fills with worlds constantly Products emerge from dreams, some not - still I'm glad I had the dream Products emerge from dreams, are things that are for the most part eternal Things of value Things of value are things that are for the most part eternal These are the problems of the world We want value, but how can we see something's value if it hasn't stood the test of time? These are the problems of the world How can people cvreate a thing of value if they don't have freedom of expression? How can people cvreate a thing of value if they don't have freedom of expression? All the inventions of xerox park seem one-note Is someone onfirst within 5 miles of you Whistles yes How many 0 no that's not it All the inventions of xerox park seem one-note Art wolrd bulshit is only growing your status on the socail hierachy U dont c if it feels good to sme one on one it just grows your ego iin the world of the U wannabee hierarchies has grew so huge that even a kind word is ple do pic iin front of a bunch of ppl who tell you what living is all about The socail hierachy The socail hierachy has grew so huge that even a kind word is ple do pic iin front of a bunch of ppl who tell you what living is all about How can you tear that down just be criitiing everything How can you tear that down just be criitiing everything Socail heiracy is athe probb; lem not some new words for vowel heresy (Gibberish) life vs wail I've seen it all from here lem not some new words for vowel heresy Theri is a world where all kinds of acgions happen that seem wrong , but they kind of make sense What is scary this place it makes absolutctely no sense whatso evewr Theri is a world where all kinds of acgions happen that seem wrong , everything you say or do Everything is measured or weighed This can all lead to an insolated society who pure reacts People watch and record People watch and record everything you say or do too much Language is a by-product of life Ndy focus on the trying to process the flood of neutral immediate experience Dotn focus on the language Dotn focus on the language too much over tiimes It's allready been written in one of the ancient tomes i study, n forseeble futures await too Laungueages change Laungueages change over tiimes Every word is a person today has been extreamly good for words n everyone who saves one life changes the world Its all part of a really really long con job driven jeff, I sense you have much potential, but why not spend it where it is really needed? Story- Story-driven jeff, What is a story but lore of the past that inspires the future, a model for imitation or pulic activism What is a story, roght? Doesn't have to be, but should always have a beginning with middle and end implied or flexibly arrived at Beginning middle and end Beginning middle and end, characters, fans, bad writing, poor research and fan vs canon debates The story is surrounded by the director Can't decide what to do The story is surrounded by the director, tragity on a good day, Drama stuck in a wringer on a bad day Design viz I just work here Design viz: Storyboards and previz Are we itellectual property thieves? We're sweeping the broad strokes of collective human inspiration under the rug and advice, we recyle most of it Set design we really need a new franchise that's recycled Set design and advice, Shot Descriptions Vfx It's not the tool, it's how you use it Satelite intel Vfx Shot Descriptions Production design and art director Why does everyting in a story come down to social issues? its just story after all Sometimes there is just too much to do! in pre-viz prototyping stage Do we really need this? The reward for good prototypping is good directing the vfx shots Research in pre-viz prototyping stage Location scouting, lore contests with the fan base, casting, costume design Why should we even have a story in this? Location scouting, Concept design and writing the story What story? Jorge dies, Dawn breaks , Casimir sulks, fire marshals ARSES on FIRE! Concept design and writing the story I'm stressed out and frustrated This is why we don't do things by committee Protecting a good mood day after day wanting to get it right for the fans At last, Jesus is coming! Sound effects Crowd simulation Reevaluating next week's work I don't like wrsitng I want to be a grip is relative Inception| logic science FICTION story is dead, that's for sure I need a support group or something Someone! Inception| logic is relative Prototyping|visualazation blue Waking up in the middel of the night breaks your concentration Prototyping|visualazation, and delivery of this vision to the audience and fanboys I just can't take much more so messy going to be sleepless obsessive Manufacturing|capture Manufacturing|capture and delivery of this vision to the audience Finish| expierence Abrogrtpaitunsaysthisisfinished about time Bullying their ideas over everyone eleses all this other stuff! It takes too many people to make a movie these days Rocket science is easier at least it's based on math and not people problems Hah! It takes too many people to make a movie these days It can take too many people to visualize a story as well Where is the unifying theory? Maybe I'm just burnt out and ready to get out of the bizz It can take too many people to visualize a story as well One potiental problem at a time ambition out of control One potiental problem at a time The makers, the bureaucracy, and the self-destructive actors Make everyone a director Second unit directing boring sounds like a good idea in theory Make everyone a director! Logic equals rules and math doesn't factor in human emotion or does it? I wish the music was written first Logic equals rules, LIFE life doesn't have to hit a deadline If we had all the time in the world, this would be fun Whats better than a movie Whats better than a movie? Riding your bike playing games Your own movie fun! ticket Lie! Tell everyone your doing better than you are Design your own movie Can't deal with this jobs worth on an intellectual level Design your own movie ticket Something that is not incremental Can't keep up the pace never enough hours, But why think, when you can feel? Zero to one hundred life occurring in the moment before the director yells cut Zero to one hundred then add some slapstick Take the bible and make a movie out of it life after the the lessons, the rules Why is there tension? everything will work itself out league of imagery and Take the bible and make a movie out of it, all it takes is blood, sweat, and tears Really? So another movie cliche Which i could right now a quantified tale of inspiration per square millimeter So much data inspiration should I listen to it? An internal war So much data, Benchmarks are good Best scientists are more interested in the aesthic vrs the technical better than deadlines some people can't handle both from every possible angel Then, I imagine a machine that creates an original movie for each individual viewer I see a program that renders out every possible angle I see a program that renders out every possible angle from every possible angel Every possible expression like the Mona Lisa there could be an entire movie just using her facial expressions Choose wisely this changes everything "Trust your intuition" Every possible possibility This is like the intro to Star Trek why must it all be so complicated? it's just a movie movies were simple once best liklihoods, some If-Then statements Then you give the computer some rules Everything is relative, every possibility what do i want to look like to other people? Then you give the computer some rules, It creates a video for you to watch Insipiration Trust your Instincts don't think, just jump This is life and death? This is what ive always wanted? I see billy fea bots rendered out in so many ways ooooh Everything feels so right I see many faces now Everything feels so alive Doing so many things at once aestetics are fun Harder to do in life Maybe i can make a movie to end all movies iamgod! Doing so many things at once Am i blinded by entertainment life is a story but it doesn't have to be a fairytale Am i blinded by entertainment? Could i use computers to grow crops or something functional like that? What do i bring with me? How much can the human mind take? Could i use computers to grow crops or something functional like that? I see a program that takes a script and comes up with a an aesthic solution from that can i use this as a starting point? Instead of using writing guidelines, i can base the function on how my brain is set up I see a program that takes a script and comes up with a an aesthic solution from that Charge them to view my creations Education is the answer "Life is Art" Life is not mere electricity the human spirit is the power supply Education defeated slavery education defeated fascism modern day fascism is using our own devices against us divergence needs education Too much of it He began to think about the next thirty years he had it all designed based on comic books energetic movie ideas based on radio and television Life was on rails about Divergence? Fear is a negative emotion How do you make people care Then the truth needs to be something they want to see How do you make people care about Divergence? Lead somewhere that is worth your time Get it/aow/ That thing ive been avoiding for some reason the final bit of business that needs to be handled is a lazy writers ending Well told promise How do you keep them guessing? Vampire comes out at night Well told promise is a lazy writers ending Story telling with out dialog is the most inclusive approach you can take "reads" the fastest He sat in his chair outlines storyboards and game plays all night The sun begins to rise Purest form of cinematic storytelling no words, no sound just pictures shots couldnt be more poignant let music tell emotions a step above silent movies silent pictures? Unify theory of two plus two will equal Four Energy Power Emotion Why does a person feel love? Why do I want to direct? Script Unify theory of two plus two will equal Four Let the audience add empathy to your protagonist protagonist? yeah, lead character allow them to be the hero your directing will do the heavy lifting Let the audience add empathy to your protagonist Judith weston acting seminar give good artists room the best direction you can give an artist is to get out of the way Where does inspiration come from? in the final position The thing the drives all thier choices The thing the drives all thier choices in the final position The spine of the story what is it that bugs you? Things that bug you tend to make good writing emotion over rule 500 make it relatable? The spine of the story Micheal corrleano godfather - dont break the 4th wall drops the Actor professionalism and allows for no censorships "I'll kill anyone! who doesnt clap! Micheal corrleano godfather - dont break the 4th wall Appease his father Ilinios? Rob? Anthony daii? Its a foul word that begins with F Lef leptin? Appease his father? Find the beauty in simplicity Whats the point of all this why not more automation are there emotions involved that I cant see? Now i feel insulted Find the beauty in simplicity Prevent harm from coming to people he cares about better have high standards standards of excellence join group of world leaders Prevent harm from coming to people he cares about Do what was best for his child keep a fair and just standard improve quality of life insurance program against dainger Some are born neg some born pos One must give One must get Nature demands balance Unsure of why? darwins finches Take the wheel when you realize what drives you your heart what makes the artist It is good to have a map for the journey arent I lucky to have found a model? You take the wheel and steer it this is maturity I will reap the reward of your craft To find the right cog what is it that makes them what they are? You take the wheel and steer it this is maturity I will reap the reward of your craft Change is fundamental to life and ma make it unnatrual? Change is fundamental to life and ma make it unnatrual? What is beyond story Where do our ideas come from? Big thoughts need big Pictures need system to link them What holds pictures together? Finding the Beat What is beyond story? Nothing can stay static Beats are oxygen for pictures rapid and steady donapostinate dance keep it alive give and take fuel Drama is anticpation drama tends towards answers solution and resolution Chaos is unorganized chaos disorder cosmic background radiation nothing changes patterns emerge Mingled with uncertainity and thats where life can exist rationally play? life is a play and we know the ending why act it out? Mingled with uncertainity, we will win and they will lose ; (you see your earth humans) I have the upper hand cuz I get to play my role for all eternity Want to know how it will conclude in the long term Want to know how it will conclude in the long term? Construct anticpation mounting tensions? frustration really want to break out this is tiring Making it loud making it clear delivered by instruments Honest conflicts in word and thought are what drive pages of script the most interesting part about peoples mannerism? Honest conflicts in word and thought are what drive pages of script the most interesting part about peoples mannerism? Truth that produces doubt places your faith and belifes at odds Dorries short term memory ehhh whats that? hahahaha How to engage the reader watch! simply turn the page Dorries short term memory? Will it cause her to forget all she knows, how toinght? Controlling a character take a pic and move on Will it cause her to forget all she knows, Global tension Youll discover it town by town, person by person Spoken words come near last to the written word Global tension? Will you find x in such a large y changing with the times going more and more extinct heavy handed rulers trying to change everything In a graphic way back and forth until conclusions No songs or dances to speak of low and Morale descends forever, can we get out of this? No songs or dances to speak of No i want moment / i want song and dance we have them dont we? If a Poem gets beat up do you read it anyway? No i want moment / i want song and dance No happy village / happy village song even if nobody there to hear it human heard it dance it then! The joy of the telling is what gives rhythm to the mind No happy village / happy village song even if nobody there to hear it / no happy ending Overcome the evil slowly No love story meet them on the field of battle calmly wait for moral to divert No love story / no happy ending No villain song no revenge Gather the strongest side with the best provisions win by not losing, hold it tight while restricting the other side No villain song no revenge Will live life in a certain way as long as conditions are meet Tales of ancient kings taught villagers modern doctrines once upon a time Battles at dawn last minute saves days are long then you must fight for your life, the strong prey on the weak If those conditions are not met Ambushes battle from higher grounds support soldiers If those conditions are not met, All bets are off if in the wrong terrain One shot kills? Common but limited to certain ranges need skill Why do conquerors always rule over something barren and unhappy? All bets are off if in the wrong terrain Will be kind, generous, beautiful, happy finite like a dream only if? A moment who knows what tomorrow brings? happy only if? As long as he stays at the top and keeps his emotions to himself wheels are set in motion Who will win who lost its uncertain is it not? As long as he stays at the top and keeps his emotions to himself Theme to keep in mind keptinmind style before content? Theme to keep in mind Who are you writing about? The general or the emporer motha Truletall? Style over substance, drama, high emotions and ideals, style Who are you writing about? pentecost, it all looks great on camera It's sells to everyone lowest common denominator humble? Lawerence of arabia Lawerence of arabia, Where is his place in the world where does his strength come from? Only those that make a difference make an impression the rest are forgotten heroes can be marketers to Can you invoke wonder in others? Makes them happy content? Are the fictional stories the key to building content citizens? Can you invoke wonder in others? Magic ingrediant lets licken take a drink of ka powah ohhhh thats wierd rawrrrrrrrrrrrr pretty colours Hold them still and surrunder to wonder drugs Vatican the name a speaks volumes Best way to lead? Leash or lantern? Express values you personally uphold, make it known weave it into p[olicy law consentCreate a sustainable wonderland Get them to the pearly gates? Express values you personally uphold, Feel ings are strongest at first eventually becomes city of streams in the sky Feelings are strongest at first Use what you know and draw from it implement realise ideas okay stop need to find a bigger word deposit for this Use what you know and draw from it, Capture a truth-- donsnt need to be plot or fact it can just be expression of the soul You can capture a stream of stones scene with light novel characters? Capture a truth-- donsnt need to be plot or fact it can just be expression of the soul Express values you feel personally uphold and make it known weave it into policy Everybody underwears do they have colourful polka dots or stripes? Express values you feel personally uphold and make it known weave it into policy Actulizing the world space around World as string theory just visualise IT Hearts are truth flowers, or invisible things Actulizing the world space around World as string theory Go through any door and see what is behind the door number 1 With enough work Alice can go to wonderland Artifacts that channel archetypes? Any ideas? Go through any door and see what is behind the door number 1 Character- environment- conflict- personality- tone Make them do something make laugh, make angry, reinforce values, all these can cause ripple effects? Character- environment- conflict- personality- tone Viewpoint; ( camera-focus) World Overview ; ( wide, mid, close), level of immersion, user Interface Do you have an ending in mind? Is this a linear story or open? ( camera-focus) World Overview ; self cotninuous world, hero can die or get lost Use the walls How do you clone an object How do you give it purpose? Is it alive? Evil? Can you destroy it? Aim for the head? How do you clone an object? He felt like shit It made him angry Will the 'heroes' win? All three of them? Or the lone wolf? The cursing spewed from his mouth with out control the day before was meaningless without willpower, no true power behind it You die when you run out of will The cursing spewed from his mouth with out control the day before was meaningless without willpower, The cracks where showing in the once flawless apartment like castle made of cards He needed an army, and he was going to get one The cracks where showing in the once flawless apartment like castle made of cards How to program madness into little girls though Why was everything an rpg system these days? How to program madness into little girls though How to program hating your self and worshiping the king? How to make cannon fodder at least enjoyable? How to make healers hate healing and love hurting? How to program hating your self and worshiping the king? It was a loss of control he felt with his 'army' Something had to be done The children were not tools but lives that happened to be there It was a loss of control he felt with his 'army' He destroyed the room, but he kept going He couldn't stop or even take a break The loss of control mixed with sugur destroyed him Who were you? Why were you here? What did you want? What was that loud sound that felt like ? hear babies crying killing babies in dream? should you feel guilty? Why are you killing them? Breaks the narrative? Stoling innocence and corrupting youth purity is broken good is dead Life is pain, fun is bloody Scream meaningless in the night as the armies edge near stomach churning experience a memory? as loud as death? random pictures? random memories? or is there a purpose to the mad artist painting? recreate implement? a social network or a place for killers to commingle? 'The killer inside me is he really inside all of us? What to dooo I used to be indecisive He was right I fidget and finally trip and mess up a huge gunfight? I writhe around on the ground and get shot somewhere? no I won't 'tonight is a quiet night'? Is the psychosis art? Is this all for show? It goes on steadily, slowly it all gets worse i feel dizzy who am I? what am I? ahh call the master? I better hurry the artist needs time to work wandering around lost in this maze feelings of inadequacy flood me

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[auburnfamilynews]

HUGE game in the Swamp.

Game of the day, y’all. Let’s get into it. Auburn and Florida meet for the first time in six years, and it’s basically a rehash of the showdown 25 years ago when Patrick Nix led the charge and the Tigers knocked off the top-ranked Gators in the Swamp.

#7 Auburn (-3) @ #10 Florida (O/U 48)

For the 6th time in as many games this game will be determined by Auburn. We’re the better team and if we win it’s because we dictate victory. If we fall it’s because we dictate defeat. I have no doubt this will be the toughest challenge Auburn has faced up to this point in the season. While there is plenty to look at with Florida and assume we should come out victorious, this matchup is tricky because of the scheme we face, especially up front along the offensive line. As our dear friend Spencer Hall like to point out, Todd Grantham’s defenses are known for “emotional blitzing”. Grantham is going to blitz early and often, with a skillful defensive line to boot, creating stunts that give me cause for concern with interior of our OL. Now, is this because our OL has shown they haven’t improved from last year? No. But the shadows of last year’s collapses with this group still loom in my mind and they still have something to prove to replace my concern with hope. Now, onto the keys to victory:

Stay a little conservative on 3rd down offensively. I know, I know…everyone here will bemoan this and point to the LSU game in 2017. But my point in this is that I don’t think this Florida offense can have sustained success if they have to go 75-80 yards to hit pay dirt. Don’t lose the momentum by taking a sack on 3rd down. Don’t force a ball down field and risk a turnover. This is a field position game that we are likely to win if we just stay out of our own way. This can be helped by…

Run the football for at least 150 yards. I don’t care how you get there. Get to 150, with fresh legs in the 4th quarter and you’re in a good position to win this game.

Continue to find 1 on 1 situations in the slant route over the middle 8-12 yards down field. Nothing cools the jets of blitzing linebackers in a 3-4 scheme quicker than gaining chunks of yards by delivering the ball to where a linebacker was in the pre-snap.

If CJ Henderson blankets Seth Williams all day, take a shot in the right moment on a 50/50 ball and see if we win it. If Seth is double covered all day, line of Schwartz next to him and send him deep. No one can keep up with him.

Let’s see some tunnel screen action on Saturday. It’s been impressive what Prince Tega does when he has the ability to lay into someone’s blindside, and throwing into a blitz will soften them up.

No turnovers. None. Not 1. Don’t do it. I’M SERIOUS ABOUT IT DO NOT TURN THAT BALL OVER ON THE ROAD.

Defensively, make Kyle Trask uncomfortable by sending some heat from the second level and trust your guys in the secondary. His job on Saturday is going to be infinitely hard.

We are about to be tested in a way that we haven’t seen since the Oregon game. They will find ways to limit our success offensively that is going to frustrate us at times over 4 quarters. If we play a clean game from a turnover perspective and play field position football, they shouldn’t be able to hold up. I think we do just that, and get out of the Swamp with a victory. Auburn 24 Florida 14

-Josh Black

I get to be live and in technicolor for this one with Big Dave and my other brothers (there will be plenty of photos, don’t you dare worry).

The more I look at this game, the more I see an Auburn win. The offense has gotten progressively better each week and now that the receivers are as healthy as they have been all season, things look really good. (Also, the offensive line has looked muuuuch better the past 2 weeks). On the other side of the ball, Florida has got a really impressive secondary and their front 7 have looked stout through the first 5 ballgames. However, its hard not to look stout when taking on Miami, UT-Martin, UT-Knoxville, Kentucky and Towson. This will by far be the biggest test the Gators have faced all season and will be until...next week when they play at night in Baton Rouge. Auburn on the other hand gets an off week before taking on Arkansas. Going back to the game, Auburn’s defense has been battle tested and just got done punishing the SEC’s Leading Rusher Kylin Hill, holding him to just 45 yards for the day. Kyle Trask took over for the injured Felipe Franks and that’s a good thing for Florida. Trask was able to come in and save the Gators perfect record in a comeback effort against Kentucky. However, Trask hasn’t seen a front 7 like he will see Saturday afternoon. The battle I will be watching is if Trask has time to throw the ball and can he complete the necessary passes against an Auburn secondary that has given up 3rd and longs for 1st downs the past few weeks. Also, watch to see if Florida attacks the middle of the field with the passing attack. If Auburn can sure those two items up, it will be a not so happy Homecoming for the Gators. I see Auburn getting the win and covering here and I will go with the under. Auburn 24-17

-Drew Mac

Like last week, but more intense, I’m scared how confident I am in this one. Auburn is battle-tested. Florida is not. Auburn has the better offense and the better defensive line. And yet, it’s on the road at the second toughest venue Auburn will travel to this season. I thought Auburn’s best path to 9 wins this season was to go 2-1 against Oregon, A&M, and Florida and 1-2 against LSU, UGA, and Bama. Two of the first group are down. Let’s BARN HARD FOLKS.

Auburn 23, Florida 17 (Auburn covers, UNDER)

-James Jones

We turn our attention to the third Southeastern Conference opponent of the 2019 campaign. Florida is a physical team that hasn’t really been tested yet. Their schedule leaves a lot to be desired. Don’t read into that though: Florida is good. They are a top 10 team right now, talent wise.

From listening to Florida fans, it sounds like they anticipate Mullen and Co. scheming their offense similar to their Mississippi State game last year – lots of screens, lots of quick routes. Anything to protect their quarterback from an elite defensive line. They punted a lot, played the field position game, and eventually smothered state 13-6.

Auburn is too explosive. It will take more than one touchdown to beat Auburn. Schwartz has been hounded all week by Florida fans who weren’t pleased that the fastest man in America picked Auburn over Florida. Malzahn seems more than comfortable getting him the ball in space and letting his legs do all the work. We’ve also seen some deep balls get thrown his way, finally connecting on one against Mississippi State. If Auburn can manage a few explosive plays early, it can force Florida to abandon this gameplan – allowing Derrick Brown to feast.

This game won’t rely on late game heroics. Auburn will pull away after a slow start. Auburn advances to 6-0 for only the third time in the last 20 years and 17th time in program history

Auburn 35, Florida 24

-Josh Dub

Swing game #2 has arrived. Before A&M I said there would be 3 games that determine whether or not this is a bad, good or great season: @ AM, @ UF, vs UGA. Tigers took care of business in College Station & will look to do the same in Gainesville.

I think Auburn is a better football team than Florida. However, I don’t think the gap is as wide between these programs as some AU fans might believe. You can’t overlook The Swamp playing a factor and there are two specific matchups that give me pause heading into Saturday: AU’s OL vs UF’s DL & AU’s WRs vs UF’s DBs. Those are two matchups where UF could win & be enough to get the W.

Auburn has seen some stout front 4s this season but UF’s is by far the most athletic. While Oregon, Tulane & A&M were built to clog lanes up the middle, this group is built to penetrate & disrupt. That means Tega/Driscoll must have good days handling speed off the edge & Nix has to have outstanding pocket awareness. It also means I think Auburn could have some opportunities running the football between the tackles but that means Harrell/Kim/Horton all playing an outstanding game.

On the other side of the ball, Auburn’s DL is a major mismatch over UF’s OL. The Gators cannot run the ball & I think unlike Jimbo, Dan Mullen won’t even really try. Ya he will attempt some running plays but he isn’t gonna stubbornly slam his running backs into that wall. Instead, he’s going to attack AU’s perimeter using wide splits & quick hitting concepts. Get the ball out of Trask’s hands & into their playmaker’s as quickly as possible. The strength of this UF offense is at WR. Auburn’s defense MUST continue to tackle well in the open field. They will probably see a similar game plan Oregon & Kent State used earlier this season.

I would love for Auburn to come into Gainesville & just thump the Gators but I don’t have a lot of confidence that will happen. Florida is out to prove they are legitimate top 10 team & I expect they play their best game of the season. Turnovers will be critical & if the Tigers don’t take care of the ball this thing could go sideways fast. My guess is UF gets a TD on the board early but Steele adjusts. Nix doesn’t shred their defense through the air like he did to State’s but he connects on a few more than he did in Aggieland. Auburn leans on the Gators D which results in two long 2nd half TD drives. They make us sweat & the result isn’t as dominant as maybe some fans wanna see but Auburn heads into the Bye week 6-0. Tigers 24, Florida 16

-AU Nerd

I‘ll keep this one short and sweet. I’ll be at a wedding this weekend. Auburn athletics is undefeated when I’m at a wedding, 7-0 by my count, with the most recent two coming during Game 1 of the Super Regional against UNC and Kansas game back in March. I’ll be at a wedding during this one, too. In fact, there’s a decent chance the bride and groom are saying their “I Do”-s when the clock strikes 00:00. Bo Nix throws for 250 with a TD and a pick. Boobee and Schwartz both pick one up on the ground. The defensive line eats Kyle Trask alive for four sacks. And, as is tradition, we win the game on special teams. 27-20 Tigers.

-Ryan Sterritt

/andrew WK voice

So let’s start a barning party (Let’s start a barning party!)

Now it’s time to BARN and we’ll be BARNING SO hard (BARNIN hard!)

Let’s get start a BARNING party (Let’s start a barning party!)

When it’s time for barning we will always barn so hard

BARNIN hard!

(BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard)

BARNIN hard!

(BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard, BARNIN hard)

BARNIN hard!

Tigers 35, Gators 21

-Son of Crow

Before I get into what I think about this game, I have to get this off of my chest. It is absolutely criminal of the SEC that this will be Auburn’s first trip to Gainesville in 12 years and the team’s first matchup in 8 years. And the fact we won’t see this again until 2024 is even more ridiculous. Fix this SEC!

Okay, now that I’m off my soapbox, here’s my thoughts about this game. Auburn has been battle tested early and often this season and last week, you saw an offense click on all cylinders. This will be a tougher test for the offensive line but last week was their best game of the year and hopefully as the season goes along, they will continue to gel and improve. Bo Nix will look to replicate his dad’s performance and hopefully we’ll get a Nix to Williams moment or 2 again this week. Auburn actually has more experience at QB as the Gators go with Kyle Trask in his 3rd collegiate game and 1st SEC start. I’ve had a good feeling about this game all week and hopefully that feeling will carry into Saturday.

Auburn 28 Florida 17

-Will McLaughlin

Not scared at all. Haven’t been scared of Florida in nearly 20 years, ain’t gonna stay back now. That said, Mullen had the ability to give Auburn fits during his time in Starkville, so maybe this one is closer than I want it to be. I’m going to be nervous that the Fort Payne native kicker that Auburn didn’t try to sign is going to make us pay. That’s all I’m going to be thinking about if the game is close. Auburn just has to win the turnover battle and they go home with victory.

Tigers 31 - Swamp Lizards 17

-AU Chief

My classic Auburn fandom has threatened to take over this week. I’ve heard nothing but people whispering “Is... is Auburn the best team in the country?” since the win over Mississippi State. We certainly have the best resume in the country, but there are still a ton of folks who won’t give this team its due because oh no, the schedule is too hard, they’ll drop a couple games at least. Normally, I’d be sweating the mojo hard after talk of that nature. But this year? Right now? No, screw that.

One cannot Barn meekly.

I’ve watched a suspicious amount of Florida football this season (it always happened to be on!) and while they’ve been dominant at times — Tennessee, Townson, etc. — they struggled with teams that frankly ain’t all that good. They can’t run the ball. Kyle Trask is actually a more inexperienced quarterback than Bo Nix, and the combo of Gus Malzahn/Kevin Steele has pretty much always had the upper hand against Dan Mullen and Todd Grantham. We’ve already been to a hostile environment. Yes, the Swamp is different, but I don’t have any reason to believe that some denim-clad reptile lovers will have that much more of an effect than 10K more khaki-clad military lovers.

Bo Nix has found his rhythm, the offensive line seems... good... and the defense continues to do what we expected it to do. Towson got to Kyle Trask a few times. Auburn gets there more. Tigers disrupt the Gator offense and we hit one long pass play and one long run play on offense. Add in some constricting and you’ve got a win. Tigers 31-13.

-Jack Condon

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/10/4/20898413/staff-picks-7-auburn-10-florida

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