#i aspire to make lace someday because i hate myself that much

[vampyroteuthid]

"having a nice quiet day indoors crocheting and listening to music" sounds very nice and pleasant until you try it and realize crocheting involves a lot of swearing and pausing the music to return to your youtube tutorial on how to make a square which is supposed to be "easy" and "for beginners" but you've had to restart it 7 billion times and your nice wool yarn is getting shredded by the amount of times you've ripped out various irregular shapes that are not quite recognizable as squares or anything else

[herbonesarebeautiful]

Get To know Me:

hi i'm lydia (she/her), chosen after lydia from the tim burton film “beetlejuice.”, as it is not my birth-given name. lydia is a feminine name meaning, “noble.” or “beautiful.” i enjoy tim burton's portfolio, especially corpse bride. i was born in monroe. now i live in brockport, new york, although i hope to move to los angeles someday. as i am still a minor, i have idols. specifically jim adkins, melanie martinez, heart, grimes, marilyn manson, audrey hepburn, strawberry switchblade, lana del rey, courtney love, and nicole dollanganger. i get quite a bit of inspiration and motivation from them. i am an aspiring musician (preferably alternative). my favorite sub-genres are definitely emo, gothic rock, skatepunk, death metal, and ambient rock. i usually find new music on the website everynoise.com. my favorite songs at the moment: nicole dollanganger - angels of porn II hole - doll parts

slutever - maggot melanie martinez - cake

crawling - linkin park nirvana - sappy strawberry switchblade - trees and flowers my favorite quote is a song lyric: “i love him so much, it just turns to hate.” - doll parts - hole i love these artists, and definitely think they have good albums. you should check them out! i don't like much about myself (i sorta hate myself, currently). but i guess i like my ability to be creative. im passionate about art, and not just the painting or drawing type. there are many art forms. it's not a hobby, but in the future i'd like to start a rose garden, so i can pluck them from the dirt when they're finished growing. i like dead things, they're pretty. cemeteries are so mesmerizing. i'd also like to take up sewing. to stitch wounds. i use to want to be a doctor. since im quite off topic i might as well tell you, i'd like to shave my head and wear brunette wigs (with bangs) and get a couple peircings. i'm called rebellious but in reality, at least right now i'm quite average with odd interests. including aesthetics, carnivals, vintage things (mostly the 60s/70s/80s) taxidermy, skateboarding (i'd like to learn how to again) film making (mostly horror), oddly specific, but the meanings behind nursery rhymes, because they're usually quite dark. and anything about music. i go to wiki aesthetics list for more aesthetics, my favs are 'nymphet.', 'morute.', and 'trad goth.' i particularly enjoy horror, true crime, and sometimes romance. my favorite movies/tv shows (currently): my friend dahmer my mom's a werewolf trick 'r' treat (the bus scene was cool, i liked the masks) friday the 13th (not the plot too much, but jasons design is well-done, in my opinion) jackass american horror story although i enjoy “morbid.” stuff, at the end of the day i do agree that i'm quite the 'coward'. i also think i'm a loser; but that's ok it doesn't bother me 2 much. heights scare me A LOT. i'm also apart of the lgbtq+ community. i like girls and guys. i am anti-bigotry and an anarchist. i do not like bigots, but i try to negotiate with them, without using any forms of hate. i agree with socialism and anarchist polotics for the most part. my goals currently: - becoming a musician. - writing a self biography (because i don't know who i am). - writing a book about someone infamous, such as a serial killer. - enjoy nature more i'm unsure if this is a goal, but i don't want kids. i'd rather not make someone suffer by bringing them into this world. i maybe will get married, weddings are pretty, i want to wear a lace black (or pink) gown with a white rosary. and a black (or pink) veil, if i do get married. oh, and the flowers should be deep red. with red lipstick and eyeliner on my face, no matter what i'm wearing. i like clothes, i don't have a lot i find pretty right now though, i like floral and pastels, but i also like dark colors and lace. i've always wanted a victorian bonnet. ribbons and buttons also amuse my fashion taste.

Extra: BEANIES ARE HOT!!!! also, emo people r ♡

[gascon-en-exil]

Mercilessly Judging the Men of Jugdral: Part 2

Part 1: FE4 Gen 1

And here we have FE4′s second generation, that fount of fresh-faced eugenics babies and aspiring daddies who’ve been around the block a few times...whether that means saving and/or screwing up the world or screwing each other, either works. Additionally, after consulting a noted local Jugdral expert I’ve decided to include the substitute units as well. I was a little on the fence as I’ve never actually used them myself and the joke about them being sub boys works exactly once, but it seems like they’d be worth eyeing up in my usual fashion.

You’ve heard of him long before you ever clicked on his profile; indeed, it’s downright appalling that he’s so open about who he is when he’s related to someone as famous as he is. Less of a wide-eyed innocent than he might seem at first glance, because it turns out he’s freshly out and feeling free and righteously vindicated in his brazenness. Likes long romantic dates and not getting down to business in anything resembling a reasonable timeframe, but at least unlike some others who prefer to dawdle he will get there eventually. Commanding but not aggressive in sex, he knows what he wants and will set about getting it in the most mutually pleasurable way possible. As such he gives fantastic head, and he’s an accomplished vers who actually does live up to that description. He’ll be just as bold in dating as he is with everything else in his life at the moment, and even though he’s bound to slow down at some point he won’t lose any of his passion. Has a deeply-buried curiosity about incest kink that only a devoted lover (or enough alcohol) will be able to bring out of him.

Athletic - but not headless - profile with a professed hatred of drama. Life may not have dealt him the best hand and he’s fully aware that there are hotter and *ahem* better-endowed guys out there, but he’s confident that he can find something real given enough persistence and gradually lowered standards. He’s got a flair of the exotic himself but finds quiet nights in, stable finances, and occasional vanilla sex to be the most attractive traits of a prospective relationship, and he’s hoping that it will all balance out at some point. Foreplay is on the rough side but he’s got the skill to make up for it and deliver a solid pounding or an only slightly less solid power bottom fuck. The most scandalous thing he’s ever done is trade handjobs with cousins, and that barely counts anyway. He might have a cuck fetish, but it’s one he’ll only venture to explore several years into a relationship.

An old-fashioned circle-jerk loving bro type, if everyone willingly ignores his requests for hung tops DTF bareback and an impressive array of anally-focused toys. The enormous levels of cognitive dissonance involved haven’t caught up to him yet, possibly because he’s got a longtime friend from school or an early job who knows his pleasures and who can match him in bro-ish insecurities. He may never mature beyond that point, but it’s not clear if he necessarily wants to. Best off as a dependable quickie at one in the morning when everyone’s just on the verge of passing out, when he can perform at his best without any pressure or awkward pillow talk. His hookups might even get lucky and get a friend or two of his to join in. Definitely has a cuck fetish although he’ll never get the opportunity to explore it.

His personality is just as awkwardly dated as his pornstache. It may be inferred from the car he drives, the clothes he wears, and the somewhat faded decor of his home that his early life was a rough one and only now does he have the freedom to live as he pleases. Much as he may act a bit like an overgrown teenager - particularly in bed, where he’s an unstretched and mostly untested bottom - he also has a strong responsible streak, and he won’t hesitate to adopt some paternal mannerisms toward the boys just now learning how to give a man a good solid fuck. He may not be the most glamorous catch, but you could do much worse. Is unlikely to date anyone closer to his own age, likely on account of a relationship that ended badly or, worse, never really even got started. It might even be the reason behind the pornstache for all anyone knows.

The clean-cut sort of college boy who speaks mostly in earnest exclamation points and smiley faces, and would absolutely love to take you out for coffee or a light lunch. Is almost definitely a virgin despite his appealing features, and as he apparently has never taken a nude selfie before either it’s a wonder what he’s even doing on hookup apps. No doubt some more active friend got him to make a profile by slightly misrepresenting the product, but he’s determined to make something good out of the opportunity. Is a total momma’s boy and probably has some serious issues regarding his parents and/or other relatives, but don’t expect that to come up until you’re Facebook official and he’s learned how to put on a condom and clean himself properly (he’ll gravitate toward bottoming after enough experience, but it will take a while for him to psychologically sync up his bedroom proclivities with his mildly submissive disposition). Is a younger sibling and is very used to being overshadowed as a result, so Type A extrovert or not he’ll feel most comfortable with a man who’ll take the lead for him. Kink makes him blush, and is a topic that’s probably better off leaving alone except for the patient.

Masc and muscled by his own description, but his extreme reluctance to share anything other than dick pics or meet somewhere more exposed than a glory hole will cue all but the horniest in that he’s not as built as he claims. Still, his dick pics are nice, and he loves making guys gag on it. Everyone who’s met him expects that he’s a closet case, but he’s actually been comfortably out for some time even if his tales of conquest are most likely exaggerated. Not really into anal or romance, but a sufficiently dedicated FWB might eventually be able to coax one or both out of him. These guys should be forewarned, however, that he’s secretly very clingy once he gets regularly involved with someone, and is prone to jealousy and all manner of possessive posturing. It’ll be worth putting up with in the end, because he’s amazing in the sack once he learns to diversify his skill set. One of those guys who will never, ever bottom because he’s too tight for it - not that he’ll ever admit that as the reason.

His idea of leather is more Grease and less Tom of Finland, but he pulls off the retro look reasonably well in his preferred circles. Likes to tease with snarky one liners and almost-nudes, which means he gets significantly more action at bars where everyone’s had a few drinks and he doesn’t have as many opportunities for one-on-one trolling. A fun hookup partner and even more fun at an orgy, and he’s got a decent range of gear to bring out when he’s looking to show off or someone’s looking to get kinky. His own tastes run more toward food oddly enough, so if he can land a chef he’ll be set for life. He rarely invites his partners to family gatherings, but it’s only there that anyone will learn that his bad boy image is largely an act of rebellion against a sedate and wholly strait-laced upbringing that doesn’t really begrudge his behavior anyway. Doesn’t have the most enticing professional prospects, but when you get down to it he’s really best kept as serial hookup material.

Uncommonly short and fully aware that there are men who are totally into that. Quickly developed into the bottom everyone immediately pegged him as, but as self-conscious as he can be in bed (among other places) he’s probably better off not having to worry about performance anxiety too. He’s a good-hearted kid who’ll make someone an excellent boyfriend someday - most likely someone who appreciates that it takes almost nothing to shove him to his knees - but at the same time he’s so blandly cute that guys tend to genuinely forget about him after the first date or tipsy hookup. If he takes enough of an interest himself he’ll be the one to remind them of his existence, at which point they’ll be tripping over themselves to make another invitation. Gives fantastic head and can transition to rimjobs more effortlessly than many bottoms, but 69ing probably isn’t in the cards without some contortion or a partner who’s about on his level.

Comfortably genderfluid/nonbinary, as he (or whatever pronoun he prefers) will be happy to let anyone know who asks about the hair or the curious clothing choices. His femme looks belie his aggressive demeanor, and he’s as comfortable topping as he riding a guy to completion after hours of edging or bondage or whatever else his freaky mind cares to propose. He can be sweet and romantic after a fashion, but the jump from passing hookup to date material is bound to be a rough one since he claims he’s not really looking for a relationship. To the surprise of not many he’s been through some rough times with family, leaving him abrasive and wary of attachment. Maybe that’s why the hookup space suits him so well, not to mention why he hates the uncomfortable conversation while dressing afterward. Might have some carefully hidden anger management problems he’ll need to talk through at some point, so any potential partners - and he’s not against the idea of there being more than one at a time - will have to be on their toes emotionally as well as sexually.

See above minus the gender fluidity - he’s just as wild and just as emotionally immature behind his confident sex maniac front.

A pair of brothers with separate accounts, they don’t acknowledge their relationship online and hate getting constantly asked about it by all the guys who put two and two together from their resemblance and regular proximity. The younger one eventually switches to a headless torso pic specifically to discourage this (and to show off his progress on a four pack). In spite of this enmity casual conversation with either will reveal that they’re not all that different; one might be a bit more suave with his initial pic offerings and date plans while the other just wants to get to the fucking, but the night will end basically the same either way: a lot of grunting and sweating that finishes just a little too early to be all that satisfying. If you end up seeing one as a FWB (never more than that, at least not for a while yet) you can expect the other one to block you instantly despite it not being at all obvious how he could have found out. A good way to get them to block you simultaneously is to suggest a threeway with both of them. If they’ve ever fooled around together on their own they’ll never speak of it.

As a twunk entering his thirties he’s frequently astonished that he gets approached by so many boys a decade or more his junior looking for a father figure (even if they don’t say it in so many words) along with a good time. He’s made a name for himself among his peers by his accomplishments and his fairly enviable body, even if he doesn’t get nearly as much action as his friends expect. Though he’s an excellent top and a patient teacher in the delicate art of fucking he does appreciate a man who can match his skill and push him to his rather considerable limits, and his experience with toys is such that he’s never without the right tool to keep himself and his lovers satisfied. If he ever settles down it’ll probably be more for professional reasons than on account of age or personal desire, but with the right partner he’ll be able to adapt to monogamy quite well. Not great with kids however...or AB/DL guys, for that matter.

His profile is visually conservative but textually overwhelming, as he’s an opinionated and angry young man who makes no secret of his beliefs about politics, lifestyle choices, and pretty much every other subject you should never bring up on a first date. Anyone who makes it past that initial salvo to make further inquiries will find a kid who’s been hardened before his time by a harsh life and a difficult family situation that once encouraged him to keep his thoughts to himself. Now he’s out in more ways than one and DTF as much out of some bizarre sense of duty as horniness. Still, he’s far from a bad catch and will undoubtedly mellow out as his situation improves and he gets laid regularly. Actually is compensating for something and blows his loads entirely too quickly, but somehow he makes it work. Averse to bottoming for similar reasons but he doesn’t advertise that fact as it would seem too close-minded. If he doesn’t end up in a committed relationship by the time he’s out of his twenties he’ll make for a great sugar daddy, as he’s already got the spending habits of one. 

He might be bright for a Camus archetype, but compared to men who aren’t so tragically fatalistic he’s a bit...off. He’s not exactly vain, but he takes such pride in his image (both figuratively and literally - his private album is unreasonably overstuffed and more underwear than nudes) that he comes off that way regardless. A top who leans toward a well-developed sense of traditionalism, which manifests as a desire for a settled monogamous life and some degree of feminization kink he performs without really examining - to either the amusement or annoyance of his dates. As much as he might be only one melodramatic step above being just a dumb blond with a mullet he’s seriously packing below the belt and knows what to do with it too. P2P guys should be forewarned that upon meeting them he will attempt to reenact the plot of Pretty Woman...though on the plus side that means he’s essentially the perfect sugar daddy. Owns an impressively-sized dildo he’s dubbed the Black Knight or something equally grandiose and ridiculous, but it’s presumably only for his partners’ pleasure as no one’s ever seen him use the thing on himself.

Not the type to wine and dine his dates and curiously hesitant about bringing them home; semi-public hookups are more his speed. After a few handjobs in bathroom stalls and clumsy anal in the backseats of cars (good thing he knows how to bottom in cramped quarters) he’ll gradually open up about his particular circumstances: although he’s unashamed to be working class - he might even mention his actual job(s) in his profile - limited funds and a deeply-held duty to care for others don’t give him many solid opportunities for fun on the side. He best gets along with guys who can meet him on the same wavelength, and he has a pretty good feeling for the ones that are looking down at him during the initial encounter. He’s a worthwhile long-term investment for anyone willing to wait until his dedication finally pays off, and in the meantime he’ll keep them thoroughly entertained. Is significantly less skilled and confident at topping, but he’ll give it his all regardless and might even discover that he’s better at it than he thinks. May have been involved with drugs and/or low level sex work at some point, and as such he’s strongly averse to the use of both even recreationally. 

Dedicated himself to bottoming after developing a complex (probably from too much porn) that he wouldn’t be big enough to satisfy as a top. Unfortunately he’s not too great at his chosen field of, er, study, even if there are alpha tops who get off to his inadequacy entirely too much for his liking. Works just as hard and is just as proud to be where he is as the guy he replaces, but it’s less likely that everything will come up roses in the end unless he lands himself a generous sugar daddy with a low libido. If he ever sneaks some of his partners’ Viagra they’d better watch out, because he will want to top...and probably suck at it. At least he’ll always have oral.

Easy on the eyes but a pain to get a hold of with any consistency. After one or two hookups he’ll disappear from the apps for months at a time until most guys assumed he’s blocked them. It’s always a pleasant surprise when he does show up again, bearing stories about where he’s been that are almost plausible and a host of new selfies ranging from the tamely scenic to the surprisingly filthy. Seems to be naturally blessed as he stays fit and handsome despite never exercising or putting much effort into his appearance, and even with only scattered experience he also displays a lot of natural talent in bed regardless of what’s being asked of him. Sex and relationships are more distractions for whatever lofty personal goals he’s set for himself, and so he may not make for great boyfriend material until he’s a little older and more settled. He may just be worth adding to your favorites list until then. (But don’t worry, he’d never actually block anyone.)

Same as above, but the bush in your face when you’re sucking him off won’t be the color of a literal bush. That alone should make up for his lower social status.

A long conversationalist, and it seems like a strange move on his part when he shares his private album after only a bit of small talk until you see that all his pics are fully clothed public shots of him with friends and relatives in a variety of local tourist destinations. Maybe he’s a widower just getting into the scene, or a single father having a very subdued midlife crisis; either way he’s a little past his prime and not the most sexual of men, but he may break out the Cialis and the poppers the first night just to make sure his partner has a good time. His idea of companionship revolves around quiet nights at home watching movies and slightly tense dinner party gatherings with the people in his life willing to understand why their doting old friend/father/uncle/work contact is feeling the urge to scratch this new itch. His professional life may suffer in some way from the association, which would make for the biggest threat to any potential relationship. Although he doesn’t often get hard anymore he loves to perform oral...but his skill can’t quite match his enthusiasm. Also, the beard tends to get in the way, but good luck getting that across to him.

...No. Just no. There are horny teenage delinquents and then there are literal prepubescent children. Good on them if they’ve got themselves figured out so young, but it’ll be a few more years before they’re ready to really learn about the bees and the bees. Also, at their age they’re more altar boys than priests, and really no one has any business going there.

[tenleys]

Start Here

In my childhood bedroom, tucked away on the top shelf of the closet, sit two tubs of knit and crochet swatches. Somewhere, a skinny blue-green strip is smooshed next to a vibrant variegated hat created by folding a rectangle together, tiny crochet doll coats, and fuzzy squares of fabric created with novelty yarn. This strip, all of 4 inches, was the start of my knitting career. 

 The contents of that jam packed box are all a part of my knitting and crochet beginnings. They mark the phase where I explored texture by using fluffy, muppet-like yarn, the phase where I explored creating doll clothes, and then moved on to creating my own toys, fuzzy rectangular monsters with felt teeth and embroidered eyes. In the beginning, I created rectangles. I moved on to shape, gradually learning to increase and decrease, expanding the scope to curved pieces and hats that went beyond the rectangle folded in half. The boxes hold evidence of my early forays into cables, honeycomb stitch, and eyelet lace.

The early projects are crammed in a box because they no longer have immediate use. I don’t need a bright turquoise doll coat with faux-fur trim in my dorm room, but it stays in my possession as a reminder. I went through a phase where I treated these boxes as the skeleton in my closet, embarrassing attempts at something that I was far better at now. I scorned the fluffy yarns, the synthetic fiber, and the hats so large, no one could wear them. Now that I knew better, I reasoned, the rectangle-based curriculum of the early years was something to avoid.

And so I knitted on, growing in skill until I forgot what it was like to begin, laughing at that beginner self. But eventually, I came around. I’d pull out the boxes every so often and remember my intentions for the swatches, the blanket I’d wanted to start, the joy I found in that ridiculous variegated blue-green-yellow rectangle hat. Instead of seeing the mistakes, I recalled the excitement of doing a new thing. Even though I moved on to learn two color stranded knitting, rather than how to hold one strand of yarn with two needles, I began to appreciate the younger me that made mistakes and ugly things with oblivion, excited, rather than ashamed, of the puffy scarves and endless, endless rectangles. I used to blithely knit with whatever crunchy acrylic yarn that I could find, rather than worry about using something more prestigious, like 100% wool.

Now, even further removed from my periods of beginning, rejecting old work, and then appreciating it more, I see that creating anything requires a start, and sometimes a willfully bad one. Or at least, a bit of embracing the act of putting on blinders to perfection. I am older and more self conscious now, and rather than laugh at little, eager me, I admire that trial and error. I had no fear, I didn’t see any difference in what I was knitting with my burgundy acrylic with what the authors of knitting books were creating with silk and mohair. I have realized that recently, my creative output has been stifled, and a lot of that has to do with fear of beginning. I want to share my artwork with others, and I want to try new artistic mediums. A couple of takeaways from my early start with knitting stand out:

1.Get unstuck from the need for perfection. If I wait until my work is perfect to share it, I will wait forever.

2.Firsts will look (or sound) like firsts. There will be mistakes, there will be established conventions that I break because I either don’t know about them, or don’t think they apply.

3. Be excited. I don’t need to downplay how thrilled I am with a project. Just because my first quilt doesn’t look like someone’s 43rd quilt doesn’t mean my work is less valuable.

4. Be nice to yourself. This means no going back and laughing at first blog posts, first paintings, or first projects. It can mean admiring how much I’ve grown, though.

5. Try weird stuff. The whole “Do things like nobody's watching” phrase is so overused, and I have conflicting feelings. It is fun to have people watch sometimes, it’s motivating and gives me a sense of accountability. But when the audience becomes more important than the actual making, the making suffers from repetitiveness. So throw the weird beginnings out into the world alongside the polished work.

6. Don’t apologize for trying. The things I make and the thoughts I share are valid. There is a difference between being critical of my work so that I can improve it, and being critical of my work so that I can beat others to the punch. Rejection of my favorite painting might feel easier if I throw the first jab (“I messed up the left leaning stripes and hate these colors”), but if I am making critical remarks to my audience, they will be more prone to pick out things they don’t like, leading to a critique session that I really don’t need.

7. You are not aspiring. The term “aspiring artist” bothers me. If I make art, I’m an artist. If I used to make things, but don’t anymore, maybe I’m a “hibernating artist”. Aspiring connotes that I must reach some pinnacle to be a real artist. I don’t. If I make art, I am a real live artist.

8. Do what you want right now. As I learned to knit, nothing was too scary or too hard. If I wanted to learn to cable, I tried it. If I really wanted a pair of mittens, I learned how. The same “go for it!” attitude applies now. I want to start a blog, so here it is! Waiting until I’ve learned everything that goes into a perfect blog will just scare me away from ever starting. If I had delayed learning to knit because I didn’t have the ideal supplies or chair or anything, I would never have the huge output that grew from trying.

9. The goal is progress, but you don’t need to know what the progress is for. Did I know that someday I would knit a pair of mittens that would be the most coveted item at a White Elephant gift swap? No, of course not! I just got better at the process, and my work went from fingerless gloves that only a mother could love, to mittens that everyone and their mother wished they owned.

10. Opportunities pop up that coincide with (and sometimes challenge) your skill level. I don’t need to prepare myself for creating huge wholesale orders, because my making isn’t at that level right now. I can afford to let things happen organically, and this is a time where I get to set all the rules. If I move to work on creating profit with my art, having a base of work that I loved creating is a whole lot stronger than having a wishy-washy base of “well, I was trying to please you” type work. (Though having a specific target in mind can be helpful at some points, that is not my goal with my personal website and artwork).