#i am well aware there's larger drama in the world

[somebluenovember]

I’m taking a year’s break of Netflix. In May 2024, if they are still around, I’ll consider this decision, but not before. I deserve better, as a fan, and as an - until now - long time paying customer. 

Fuck Netflix. Fuck it to the bottom of the ocean.

[pumpkinstep]

absolutely this! It’s not just the devalue of the quality of content on the internet and the culture that surrounds it that has been manipulated by market freaks trying to milk profit out of what was otherwise a niche and tight knit landscape for micro communities.  I think everyone has noticed by now how difficult it is to find Any information on the internet these days, how pushed out real well learned groups are and how forums of all kinds have been washed off the search results due to corporate adware pushing.  Things really are worse than they used to be now than they ever have been. If you think your search results are worse and you only find products being pushed or Sponsored articles instead of off shoot websites made by some guy and their buddies, its because that really is what’s happening.  I’ve done a lot of searching around to try to find out the cause and, the most part and possibly unsurprisingly, the main sources of info and most vocal posts about this topic was found on reddit.  Social media is no longer small pockets to hang out with your friends and talk about dumb shit, (that is, i am willingly leaving out the hardcore drama and crimes that came along with the untamed net back in the day,), it’s now this monolith city full of strangers trying to make money the same way the bigwigs were when the canvas was new and fresh.  Of course there can be a lot said about how social media has fundementally altered how we treat each other and how mind-blowingly maddening it is to have every good and evil in the world beamed into your brain faster than you can process it but more or less i’ll ignore that too since it is a byproduct/symptom of the larger monopolization, or the cashing in/to profit off, of loneliness bred from corporate greed and the desire to isolate the public. source, observation of mmo gaming culture over the years, chat rooms taking form of video games,  and the noticeable increase of programs/online spaces or products or things geared towards getting lonely people to pay for a service that will take advantage of them more than really help.  I’m also aware of the age old practice of grifting and scams, lies and misinfo that have increased in practice as access to reach more people in shorter amounts of time. human’s havent really changed fundamentally in my opinion.  weh i got sidetracked but it’s kind of a complicated intertwined mess when it comes to the debasement of online culture and the push and pull of wanting to be the most special and popular/wanting to be seen and have a community, and the agenda of money makers.  Which i guess loops us back to search results.  From what i’ve seen, almost every major search engine is giving false result, or hits, numbers for searches and many of the pages will loop endlessly back on itself to give the impression of “new” results. <- this i’ve seen a lot personally. I use bing, and i’ve seen many posters talking about running into this problem when trying to search things up.  It looks like this is intentional, only feeding you information you��re guaranteed to click on and spend time on, do it’s job and say, i found exactly what you wanted, without giving you unbiased results. a lot of it has to do with search algos changing to combat misinfo and another big chunk is gaining a comfortable and solid ad rev stream through paid for links. This half is entirely tied to your search history and the kind of things you look up on every platform. Read something on a certain website? linger a bit too long on a paragraph about a certain topic? Talk to your buddies about something with your phone in your pocket or your smart home device nearby? You’ll be finding that ads will change to match the topic. It doesn’t matter if it was just a passing interest, you’ll now be sold ideas adjacent to your collective searches and results.  Personally, it makes it very difficult to find new information, to break out of what you usually search and find things like new music, art, plays, oddball research and opinion pieces on things you typically dont think about but wanted to know what other people thought cause it sounded interesting.  I suspect the over monotization of the internet as it is now will lead to a middle ground between the dark web and the normal surface level stuff, this sort of untouched exclusive bubble where things float in a gray area. From the looks of things, you can find this sort of thing in websites like reddit and 4chan, at least it looks that way. I’m not from either website so take what i say with a grain of salt, it’s just based on surface level observation. 

i think you could argue tumblr already fits a bit into the gray area, not neatly but sort of semi.  anyway, i have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the shittification of the internet.  This tedtalk is sponsored by me, some guy who grew up with early 2000′s internet culture

[raindancer2004]

Unbreakable Bond

Word Count 1,141 Demetri x Swan reader Oneshot Warning: Fluff, Angst

Fluff Prompt: Im going to start easy before I spam you 🤣🤣can you also try a 21 on the fluff list also for dem 🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰 For @vamp-army​

Edward and Bella Cullen are mates by choice. They met at Forks High School a few years ago and he discovered she was his bloodsinger. Bella’s younger sister Y/N knows this and about all of the other drama involving the Volturi. So when the Volturi come to visit she is shocked to find out she is the fated / true mate of Demetri, the World’s Best Tracker.

Demetri was thrilled when Marcus confirmed what he had already guessed that Y/N Swan was his true mate. However, he notices that Y/N is not happy at the news that they are mated, that she was not as happy as he was about finding his mate, his other half. “Can we go for a walk and talk about things?” He asked holding out his hand to her “O-ok” She replies and slips her small hand into his larger one. They both felt a spark when their hands touched and smiled at one another before leaving the house hand in hand.

“I know you saw what Bella went through when Edward left her but I promise you I would never do that to you” Demetri says looking into Y/C eyes “I know I should trust you as you’re my mate but after what Bella went through I…” “I can promise you this if anyone ever hurt you or tried to take you from me, I would search the world for you, I would destroy the world for you, in order to get you back” “You would you risk the lives of millions for one person? Why?” She asked not quite believing what she was hearing “Because it’s not just one life…it’s yours, mi amore” He vowed as he cupped her face in his hands before pressing his lips to her forehead “You were born to be with me Y/N and only me…” “Really?” She asked cutting him off “Yes really. You and I have a stronger bond than Bella and Edward because you are the other half of my soul and I am yours. Fate made sure of that centuries ago, long before you were born.” She looked into his ruby eyes, her eyes holding a look of sympathy in them “I’m sorry you have had to wait for me for so long” “Don’t be darling, for you are more than worth the wait and we have forever together” He replied before placing a kiss to her cheek and smiled as a blush settled there.  

Bella kicks off about her sister being mated to an elite Volturi Guard “She deserves better that him, deserves better than being a part of that family” “Bella you more than anyone should understand what’s going on here between Y/N and Demetri. They’re mates and you cannot come between them” Alice says softly but Bella shakes her head “He kills humans to survive and she is human…” “Bella, Demetri is well aware that your sister is human and that fact doesn’t bother him” Alice adds.

Demetri and Y/N get along really well, him agreeing to take things slowly as it is a lot for her to take in and understand. Y/N doesn’t see the ‘bad’ side of Demetri as she knows that she is safe with him, knows that killing other vampires is a part of his job. The fact that he survives on human blood isn’t an issue for her either as she knows that will be her diet of choice once she is immortal.

This leads to an argument between the sisters. “I can’t believe you accepted him so easily Y/N” “He’s my mate Bells. What, would you rather I rejected him?” Y/N asks “Yes. Yes I would. He’s not good enough for you. You’re human and his masters will not like it either.” Y/N stands there in silence for a moment when something dawns on her “The Volturi have no reason to dislike me Bella. I have done nothing to attract their attention. They didn’t know I even existed before their recent visit. Whereas You and Eddie on the other hand are the ones that caused problems between the Cullens and the Volturi. Remember?” Y/N noticed Bella’s eyes darken as she became angrier but she stood her ground.

“You’re mated to the most dangerous vampire in the world” Bella’s voice is slightly raised now “Well, you’re mated to the most boring vampire in the world. What’s your point?” Y/N shouts back and Emmett’s booming laugh suddenly fills the house “Oohh burn” He adds smiling wide.

Fast forward a few weeks and Y/N and Demetri are doing a long-distance relationship and it’s working well for them, although they both miss each other terribly.

Bella starts mouthing off again about the Volturi and the fact that mates become lonely and depressed when they are apart. “He doesn’t really care you know. He leaves you here all alone like it’s nothing.” Y/N feels something snap inside her and unleashes her temper and all of it is directed at her sister.

“You were Eddie’s bloodsinger / girlfriend and yet he left you so easily and stayed away for six months. SIX MONTHS Bells and he didn’t contact you ONCE! Whereas I’M Demetri’s mate / girlfriend and he HATES the fact that we’re apart at the minute. He MISSES me as I MISS him. He PHONES me twice a day and TEXTS me all the time. And do you know why that is sister? It’s because I’m his TRUE mate! You are just Eddie’s CHOSEN mate. FATE chose me for Demetri and him for me. Two halves of the SAME soul. My bond with Demetri is UNBREAKABLE!! Unlike yours!” Bella stands there too shocked to answer.

The rest of the Cullens are also shocked at Y/N’s outburst but they all kept quiet as they too are all chosen mates just like Bella and Edward. Carlisle and Esme understand where Y/N is coming from and hopes Bella takes this onboard and leaves her sister alone.

Unbeknown to Y/N Demetri heard this whole argument between her and Bella and feels proud that she was able to hold her own and felt his heart warm at hearing her say she was his and that she misses him too.

“BAM!!! Y/N 1 – Bella 0” Felix calls out from outside the house.

Demetri walks up behind Y/N with the biggest smuggest smile EVER “Well said my darling. I love you so very much” He wraps his arms around her from behind so her back is flush against his chest and kisses her temple. “Shall we go home now darling?” She nods at him over her shoulder smiling “Yes and I love you too Demi.”

A few moments later Demetri and Y/N walk out of the Cullen’s house hand in hand and make their way back to Volterra to begin their forever together. Felix following behind them smiling.

[absolutebl]

Hi, this is more of a rant than a question, but I don’t have any friends who watch BL irl and you are genuinely one of my favorite people who discuss BL :)… I keep still seeing heartstopper content after so much time passing on various social media platforms. It was good and the plot was well done for what the story is. There still is not a lot of Western media, let alone popular/mainstream Western media, that gives lgbt people a center stage, main couple happy ending and decent representation, and the target audience (teens/young adults) would certainly crave this type of content, especially with how the state of the world is right now and certain political representatives making things look more than a little grim. Lgbt youth crave representation that isn’t just pride tumblrs from Starbucks and tragic story outcomes like Brokeback Mountain (good plot but a terrible story for someone to watch who is questioning whether or not to come out). Things like Heartstopper, Young Royals, and Love Simon seem like amazing groundbreaking content to this type of audience. Now I definitely do not these shows BL. Love Simon is a straight romance played by two men (in my opinion) and Heartstopper was definitely more of a coming of age and acceptance story than a typical BL, not that those elements are not often in BL, but BL has a lot more… elements to it to formulate that overall genre. I’m sorry I can’t explain it. However, I keep looking at this popularity and I can’t help but wonder why countries who produce BL aren’t looking at this target audience and thinking “We should start advertising here”. KDramas especially are very popular in Western culture, but it doesn’t seem like many people who watch them outside of those who are conscious of the BL genre focus on the queer dramas that these countries are producing. Many Eastern countries definitely have a different way to tell stories, but I genuinely believe the core elements of the stories are something LGBT people would enjoy seeing. I am aware that part of it has to do with funding, but Korea has built itself up enough in the entertainment portion of their economy that I believe they could do simple social media campaigns to advertise to larger audiences. The first example that comes to mind is Semantic Error. I really believe a wide variety of Western audiences would love this show. I think most shows from Thailand, Japan, and Taiwan may be too niche to appeal to a broad lgbt audience but there are some shows that would be super popular within the community if people knew they existed. Even Gamerboys, which was popular in its own right, was not really spread enough to reach enough lgbt audiences worldwide, in my opinion. If these production companies started looking at advertising more overseas, I genuinely believe there could be much positive feedback, at least Korean shows at this point (and this positive feedback could mean more funding and more content). I also know this has to do in part with accessibility because many shows are hard to find if you don’t know where to look... I go back and forth on this because I do fear Westernization destroying the fundamentals of what makes BL (and GL) so unique, but at the same time, I just know that if I had discovered shows like what I watch now when I was younger, I may have had the bravery to come out of the closet sooner, at least to myself, so I can’t help but beat my head against a wall trying to think of a way countries (especially Korea) could get their content mainstream to this audience. Again, I know there is a lot of elements to this but, idk. I am sure people much smarter than me have analyzed this, but as someone who has watched enough content to fill a decent blog if I ever decide to do such a thing, these are my thoughts… I apologize, I just had to say this and I hope it makes sense! I’m also so sorry for how long this is. And I am sorry if you have ever talked about this before and I just didn’t see the post! I just have a lot of respect for you and love seeing your thoughts on BL :)

Well that was a wild steam of consciousness ride but I think you want this post:

Why a big industry in many Asian countries for gay romance shows? - AKA history of BL, why romance dramas are popular in Asia but not the west (form of… PHD THESIS) plus catering to the female gaze and so much more!

If you did want anything.

If you just want to vent, carry on.

I support your frustrations!

[sneezemonster15]

Calling bullshit on the opinion that Kishimoto doesn't know how to write romance.

The reason why this entire shipping business on Naruto has been going on for over a decade and still going strong, making fans go absolutely mindless, about a story which is not even about romance, about things that are so effective and impactful that the fans feel completely consumed with it, to the extent where they have almost completely defined their life and philosophies on its basis, is because Kishimoto can write a good fucking romance. And that's what he did. That's the reason why ships are fighting with each other, because it's not just about Naruto the manga or Naruto the series, it's about how they imagine their own romance, it's a deep, profound feeling. That's why they have strong motivations and convictions that drive their insight into the story. That's why there is so much polarity in Naruto fandom. They are ready to jump to protect their ship at a moment's notice because that's how much it means to them.

Are you telling me that it just happened on its own? Just happy coincidences and random factors?

No.

A lot, a lot of thought goes behind closed doors of the studios. I know this because I work in the business. The reason why I was so astounded with Naruto's story because it was actually a brave story. A brave concept. In a shonen. Because I am ready to bet a million dollars I don't have on the fact that Kishimoto knew what he was doing. Anyone who enjoys poetry, or literature, or drama can, if not approve, appreciate Naruto and Sasuke's story. Because it's that deep. Because it's that impactful. Because it's that dark. Because it's that tragic. Because it's that tender. Because it's that painful.

Because it's so...

(Applause.)

Romantic.

These are all the ingredients of a well written romance. This is the reason why I don't care about other ships because I know that SNS is not random or a projection. It's mindfully and carefully and even tenderly written and developed.

Kishimoto's projection? Oh sure. It stands to reason that someone from his real life affected and inspired his favourite character through and through. He did say that he based some characters on certain people from his own life. And he did base Naruto on his own self, if partly. And the reason why I am able to surmise that he could have had a real crush on someone like Sasuke in real life, is because how clearly and insightfully written and contrasted the two characters are. So nuanced. They are like poetry, that's why I am so dazzled with them. Their story is so beautifully shaped by their characters and growth that it creates a clear impression of who they really are in the story. Soulmates. That's the whole crux of the story. They are written out to be this literally 'once in several lifetimes' pairing that finally broke the bonds of hate with bonds of love and changed the entire world and as a result, grew themselves. This is reflected in themselves what with Sasuke being propelled with hate and Naruto with love and coming together finally in a world that they made happen, for each other. And all of their parts and counterparts with which they think and move and function are so well in sync with each other that they lock together perfectly, like two pieces in a two piece puzzle box.

To say that this intricately and intelligently and tenderly written story is just like, an accident, my lord no!

No. The content that is finally syndicated on screens all over the world, especially with the type of response Naruto has enjoyed, and believe me when I say this, everything goes through many levels of scrutiny during production; to the extent of why would this camera angle work better than all the other angles, here's a flowchart and analysis of all of them and let's spend three days on deciding it while the producers are going crazy frustrated with fanatic creatives. This is a very common thing to happen in most serious studios.

Naruto stood out at the time it came out and reached a much larger audience for several reasons. But one of them was that it got the right exposure and was shown to critics outside of Japan, who could appreciate and admire it's cinematic beauty and this reached a different subset of audience. This extra effort is not consistent but it shines at so many places, because it's just good storytelling technically and aesthetically. And the reason why Naruto and Sasuke stand smack dab in the middle of that storytelling, is because Kishimoto told their story with so much feeling, it literally shows. The nuance is just crazy. Note that I am saying nuance and not subtext, even though it's there in heaps. But I want to make a distinction clearly. Like I can write pages and pages over it. Anyway, their story stands out because the nuances are so well defined and mindfully drawn by Kishi, that one can't help but wonder if Kishi actually experienced them. And they are just small things but still get a lot of exposure in the manga and anime. And because they are so small but clearly noticeable, it makes us stop in our tracks and think. And the thing is Kishimoto could have easily done without them and it would have made everything still seem undisturbed but he chose Not to. That kind of decision is a direct result of deep understanding, feeling and thinking in terms of forming a certain visual approach and meaning. The visual language Kishi has used to show their chemistry, their bond, their need for each other, is so tangible, like you could cut it with a knife, that it makes one feel something is right below the surface, simmering and about to explode, but you can't put your finger on what it exactly is. Until you start to think. And it takes some time.

You think that kind of writing is random? Are you out of your mind?

No, Kishi is a maniac. He pulled something that was not easy at all. He is a genius. He is also sadistic because he knows he didn't give us a resolution. Resolution is cathartic to viewers and the reason that nobody got any with Naruto and still not getting any from Boruto is making everyone go crazy. Fifteen years is a long time man. And I can bet my other non existent one million dollars on it. He owns a lot of rights over Naruto franchise, I don't think he can be cowed down to such an extent even by the studio. Kishi fought studios for a few significant scenes of Naruto and Sasuke, he is not unfeeling about them.

Maybe I am being a mere deductionist but more often than not, deduction is right. It's a valid form of acquiring knowledge. Sherlock is right more times than he is not.

Anyway, my point is, Kishi can write romance. Kishi can write very good romance. He could have chosen to remove some tropes and make Naruto and Sasuke either just brotherly or friendly. But he chose not to. A lot of people think that they are platonic. And I think I know why. But I don't. They are not platonic. They seem like they feel physically aware of each other, acutely so. they just don't know what it is. Maybe Sasuke does, Naruto doesn't. Kishi used also such common tropes to show this element, but just because it is in shonen and between two boys, y'all won't believe it. Don't you feel that palpable feeling, the simmering tension and emotion when they fight at the valley of the end both times? And it makes you think maybe it's just you, and what you are thinking can't be true because this is shonen and it would mean they are gay, let me tell you, no it's not you. It is Kishi. And it takes skill to write. Something like this is almost always used as a trope of unaddressed sexual tension in media. Pick any romantic drama of this genre, where 'hate turned to love' or 'two unlikely people who fall in love' and you would find it in almost every single one of them.

Why do you think Kishi designed it that way? You think with all the detail (action moves are literally inspired by real life martial arts, lighting, sound, editing, dialogues that sound like out of a Bronte novel), that was him just playing innocent?

No. No. No. And No!

He wrote SNS throughout Naruto and Shippuden and is still doing something of an extension of it that has made Boruto a weird and uncomfortable to watch family drama.

[falsegoodnight]

a new header??? it matches better <3 these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with a star (*). 

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 28th only

—

main list ~

✰ Don’t Wait Up by reliablyimperfect | NR | 1k

Without Harry’s warmth next to him, he felt the chill of the air creep over his skin. He tugged the blanket down from where Harry kept one draped over the back of the couch for him, grateful. With the blanket, he instantly felt warmer, but it backfired when his eyes began to droop again. Trying to keep his eyes open was impossible, and he was consciously aware of how long his blinks were becoming. They stay closed longer and longer until, eventually, they didn’t open again.

so soft and sweet and lovely! made my heart feel so warm <3 will return to this for some quick comfort in the future!

✰ my ugly mouth kept running by @hadestyles | E | 4k

Sometimes second chances are more important than the first.

rori’s lush writing + abo + exes to lovers = absolute perfection. my fic cameo gives it a bonus too :’) definitely one of my rori favs 

✰ i’ve loved you three summers now honey, i want them all by @softloubabie | M | 4k

The restaurant was small and bright, soft colors filled the walls and tables and fairy lights hung from everywhere. From what Harry had read, the food wasn’t overly expensive but it was still comparable to what you would get at one of the more expensive places. If Harry could he would take Louis to the biggest most expensive and extravagant restaurants to do what he planned to tonight, but this would do.

After being led to their table Harry nervously tapped his jacket pocket, sighing in relief when he felt the small box still there. Tonight was the night. He couldn’t wait till it was time to surprise Louis with all the gifts he got for him. Then finally the big surprise.

so cute and sweet! their kids were so adorable and the proposal so lovely!! they love each other so much <3

✰ love me in between the future and the past by navigator & quitter | E | 11k

Harry's scared of history repeating itself.

this honestly hurt to read but in such a raw and emotional way?? was mad at harry and then sad for him :( this writer duo’s fics never fail to amaze me!

✰ sunshine on my mind by @raspberryoatss | E | 13k

Louis visits Harry in Portland

this was so sweet and lovely! the perfect addition to this wonderful universe! pip’s characterizations and fluff never fails to make my heart feel warm <3

✰ rapture in the dark by @stylinsonsupporter | T | 13k

Harry Styles is a breakout musician who has shed his boyband label in favor of embracing his inner brooding rockstar. His PR team think that his rebrand is the perfect time for Harry to come out of the closet and have devised the perfect plan for doing so. Enter Louis Tomlinson, up and coming (and very openly homosexual) model whose public image as America's Sweetheart is the perfect foil for Harry's new edge. From a PR standpoint, it's a dream come true - a power couple that can slowly coax the public into accepting Harry's altered image. The only problem? They hate each other.

always love a good fake dating au and this is no exception! and model louis >> really enjoyed this!

✰ Maybe, Baby* by thoughtsickles | M | 16k | mpreg

It all feels too easy, too good to be true. It all feels like a scene from Louis' daydreams, the kind of life he'd always imagined he'd have when he was younger and bored at his momma's work, sneaking around the hallways of the maternity ward until the nurses let him in to hold the babies. He'd felt so important being allowed to touch them. He'd told them stories of the lives they were going to have, houses with nice wallpaper that wasn't peeling, yards filled with sunshine and flowers and grass that never went yellow. A hammock to nap in, cuddled up with his husband.

You can't stay here, he tells himself, but Baby doesn't want to listen.

have reread this one quite a bit of times now and it still makes me so happy <3 this Louis and Harry deserve the world <333

✰ Let Me Inside by reliablyimperfect | E | 18k

Louis is Harry’s boss, but Harry is the boss of Louis. 

loved this one! really enjoyed the balance between h&l and how they maintained their dynamic in subtle ways outside of the bedroom while also keeping it separate. very much enjoyed the jealousy as well <3

✰ a scintilla of predilection by @dehydratedpoolfics | T | 20k

There, in the far back of the room, next to the only available seat left, is none other than Harry Styles. Harry, who grew up next door to him, who knew all his secrets as a child and played FIFA with him on Saturday mornings after he would spend the night Friday evenings every week, whose curly hair would tickle his nose as they held each other during bitter cold nights that made his room glow a haunting blue.

love ex-childhood friends with misunderstandings!! louis was so cute and i loved his poetry <3 harry too was so stupid but so smitten and lovely :’) really enjoyed this!

✰ Keeping The Flame Alive by @crazyupsetter​ | E | 20k

Recording with One Direction never felt like this. There’s a couple reasons for that, Harry thinks. One is that they did most of their recording on the road, rushed and in busses and hotel rooms, never in one place long enough to really get an argument going. The other, larger and more important one, is that back then he had the sweetest, meanest little omega around to distract him from all of that frustration.

The first time around, when he’d been recording his debut solo album, it hit him pretty hard. He likes to think he’s better adjusted to it now, but frustration is warring under his skin nonetheless. He doesn’t want to be told what to do most of the time, and he especially doesn’t want to be told what to do when it comes to his music.

What he does want right now is that sweet, mean little omega right in front of him with his mouth on Harry’s cock. Unfortunately, the best he’s got is his own hand and a shared toilet. So. That’s really not going to work.

✰ like it’s a game* by @soldouthaz | E | 32k

There is little Harry hates more than truth or dare.

And Louis.

queen of enemies to lovers! it’s been a while since i’ve reread this but too absolutely no surprise, it’s just as amazing as always <3 sarah never misses!

✰ Too Young To Know by @2tiedships2 | M | 35k

Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

really enjoyed this as per usual! exes to lovers is my jam and the added angst of Louis dating someone else at the beginning... love <3

✰ Some Things Take Root* by  navigator & quitter | E | 50k

Louis' ex doesn't get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage.

stumbled upon this randomly and decided to reread on a whim... ended up staying up to read it in one sitting! so good!

✰ Safe and Sound (You’ll Always Be) by @all-these-larrythings | E | 58k

When a failed case and a guilty conscience leaves Harry more than a little lost, his boss presents him with a new, less taxing assignment to help him cope. An escape from all the madness is just what Harry needs to get his life back on track. It's just too bad his new client has a grin like the devil, a pair of electric eyes that Harry simply can't get over, and no intention whatsoever of letting him catch a break.

i don’t know how i’ve never read this before??? it was absolutely amazing though! perfect blend of humor and fluff and tension and angst <3

✰ Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) by @youreyesonlarry | E | 74k

It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day. 

the slow burn in this fic killed me - which is to say, it was perfect! loved how they progressed from working together to being friends to something more and how much they genuinely cared for each other! the hockey was so fun too!

✰ Call Out My Name by frenchkiss | E | 102k

Apparently, it's bad PR to fall in love with the omega you hired to help you through your rut.

Harry Styles begs to differ.

ellen truly knocked it out of the park with this one!! had everything i could ever want: abo, famous/non-famous, fluff, humor, angst, drama, and more! i loved it from beginning to end!

wips ~

✰��‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies | E | 64k | 7/11

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

am thoroughly enjoying each chapter!! it’s been a wild ride so far and although things are currently calm, i am still on edge!! but i trust mar with my life <3

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved | E | 83k | 8/16 

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

caught up last night! still really enjoying every chapter and can’t wait to see what happens next!! things are *happening* with h&l and answers are being given!! (love the jealousy too!)

non-1d ~

✰ Keep Me Close (I Need Your Faith) by @princelouisau | E | 23k

Somewhere along the way he had fallen in love and in doing so, had broken the one rule he knew he couldn’t come back from. As quickly as he realised, he decided that he must never dare speak it. He resigned himself to loving Draco in silence.

first foray into reading drarry... and, to no one’s surprise, i loved it! beautiful writing as always and beautiful atmosphere! it’s really not a shock that i fell for these characters and their story when danielle is behind it <3 it had me entranced from beginning to end!!

finally, i myself actually posted a fic this month:

my fics ~

✰ yesterday came suddenly by me | E | 49k | mpreg 

Harry the deadliest member of the NYC assassins’ guild, is forced to face a seemingly impossible task in hopes of finally leaving the underground behind for good, but when ghosts from the past come back to haunt him, escaping the darkness becomes that much harder.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[gotnofucks]

Loving Dodger

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: Your journey of overcoming your fear of dogs to loving Dodger.

Words: 3.6k

Warning: mention of smut, language. Loads of fluff

A/N: I obviously don’t know Chris Evans, this is just a story.

MASTERLIST

+++++

Everyone was packing up and you rushed to get things in order. Your coffee had gone cold hours ago, and some poor intern would be responsible for throwing it away from wherever you had left it. Working in the film industry could be rough, and this was just backstage. You went through the set, automatically putting things in order as you moved and waved goodbye to others. Stuffing the last of your things in your overstuffed bag, you left to find a taxi. You were glad you weren’t working tomorrow morning, for you planned to have a long hot shower and an undisturbed sleep after a long time.

It was late at night and no taxis came your way. You hated taking an Uber this late, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You had only just taken out your phone when a car stopped in front of you. The driver’s side door opened, and a smiling Chris Evans greeted you.

“Can I give you a ride milady?” He asked and you snorted.

“You have the worst English accent. If you do that in London, they’ll smell the imposter in you” You said. “And it’s cool, I’m calling an uber.”

Chris frowned, leaning against the door with arms spread, his few sizes short, too tight shirt stretching over his broad frame. You felt like he needed to be arrested for the cardiac arrests he may cause.

“At this time, and even when a handsome, chivalrous man is offering a safe ride? You wound me sweetheart.” He grabbed his left boob, faking a pained expression and you sighed.

“God, you’re awful Chris. You sure it’s okay, a little out of your way isn’t it?”

“Y/n, there is not one place in the world I wouldn’t go with you”

You let your hair form a curtain to hide your blush, clearing your throat awkwardly and stepping in his car. His car smelled like his cologne, the heady scent sticking to your clammy skin. You went for the radio, soft country music running in the background.

“So, what are you doing this weekend?” Chris asked.

“I live a boring life man. I’m probably gonna clean my shit and stock my kitchen with as much instant food as I can.”

“Well, if you want, we can go somewhere. Make your boring weekend interesting.” Chris suggested, glancing at you as he maneuvered around the traffic. You fidgeted, playing with your fingers as you avoided his eyes. Saying no to him was getting difficult every time. You wished the radio was turned up louder so this conversation could be avoided.

“Oh, you know me. I like to lay in, be a lazy girl.” You tried to say nonchalantly, and Chris’s hands clenched around the wheel. You stared out the window, watching the city breeze past as things got awkward inside. You didn’t speak until he pulled up in front of your home, and you reached for the door before the car even stopped, a farewell on your tongue when you were pulled back by the seatbelt.

You blushed, hands frantically trying to undo the clasp and Chris’s hands covered yours, releasing you. You breathed deeply as he was leaning into you, face just a few inches away. You could count his lashes this close, see the exact shape of that mole on his cheek and feel his breath on you. You pulled back, quickly opening the door and almost stepping out before you were pulled back again, this time by Chris’s hand grabbing your upper arm. He tugged you back into your seat and came close enough to touch your nose with his.

“You know you can’t keep blowing me off,” He muttered. His hand tucked your hair behind your ear, blue eyes intently looking in yours. “I can’t take your no because I know you don’t mean it. Why do you keep running away?”

You gulped uneasily, wiggling out of his grip and getting out of the car. He was still looking at you, waiting for an answer. You shook your head slightly, feet kicking the ground at your feet.

“Thank you for the ride Chris. Drive safe.”

The door swung shut behind you and you walked away without another look, hiding away inside your home and trying to calm your beating heart.

+++++

You remembered disabling your alarm last night, so what the hell was that awful noise. Burrowing your head in your pillow, you tried to go back to sleep until the pounding continued. You growled, ready to rip out a new one to whoever was stupid enough to disturb your sleep. Uncaring of your attire, the t-shirt barely reaching midthigh over your panties you marched to your door, a scowl on your face.

You ripped open your door, already mid-triad before noticing who it was.

“Look, you need to shut the hell up. I work 14 hours a day, barely eat and sleep and you trying to break my door down is not –”

Chris smiled at you, amusement glittering in his eyes which raked over your bare legs. Your mouth parted for an embarrassingly long amount of time before you remembered you bed hair, morning breath (more like mourning breath) and the ratty t-shirt with holes. You pulled down on the hem, aware that you weren’t wearing a bra and it was too late to hide.

“What the hell are you doing here at this ungodly hour?” You asked Chris and he held up his hands to show he had food.

“Ungodly? Its 10 am miss, and your loyal subject is here to feed you.”

He moved past you into your house without invite, putting down the paper bag which had grease stains on it. Despite your shock and anger, your stomach grumbled, and you shut the door behind you. You rolled your eyes at his cheek, but that stuff looked too tempting to say no to.

“Since you’ve decided to intrude on my morning, make yourself useful and put on some coffee. I’m gonna change” You said and walked towards your bedroom.

“Like the way you look!” Chris shouted from behind you and you flipped him off without looking, ignoring his chuckle.

Why the hell was he here? After the way you guys had left things last night, you would have thought he would be too pissed to talk to you. You sighed as you pulled on a bra and something other than a 10-year-old t-shirt. You found him setting the table, laying down breakfast as the smell of coffee filled the kitchen. He smiled when he saw you had pulled your hair into a messy bun and winked at you.

“Here, larger portion for you.” He said handing you a plate of your favorite food. You took it, feeling like a guest in your own home as he served and poured you a mug of coffee, made perfectly as you like it. You both ate in silence for a while, the sound of cutlery the only thing to be heard. Finally, you pinned him with a stare, pushing away your plate.

“Chris, what are you doing here? Seriously.”

He chewed the morsel in his mouth before leaning his hands on the table and clasping his hands. It felt like an interview and you wished you had something better on, like an armor, to deal with whatever he was going to say.

“Well, if you want an honest answer here, I’d say I am here because I wanted to see you. I didn’t want you having some instant meal for the 10th time this week, so I got you some breakfast.”

You looked away from him, chewing on your lip. You wished he wouldn’t be so sweet. If he were a sleazy bastard, saying no to him would be so easy. Yet, here he was getting you food and being all domestic, making your life more difficult.

“Look, I appreciate this but I – Chris, we can’t happen. You need to stop this.”

It seemed like he was contemplating you, trying to guess what went on in that head of yours. He reached across to take your hand in his, lacing your fingers and stroked.

“I can’t stop. I tried, trust me I did. I can’t. I see you on the set and I want to whisk you away in the vanity away from prying eyes. I see you anywhere at all, with any other man I want to punch his face. Y/n don’t tell me I am imagining things. I’ve seen the way you look at me. You want me too, don’t you?”

The chair made a screeching noise as you snatched your hand away from his and got up, pacing the room. You were shaking your head, trying to think of a way to make him understand.

“Chris, we won’t work, you and me.”

“Why the fuck not? How can you even know if you won’t give us a chance? And I am the one who’s supposed to have fucking commitment issues.”

You wrung your hands, sitting in front of him again. He looked angry and frustrated, not knowing how much you wanted to say yes. But you knew in your heart of hearts that a very basic thing will never let you be.

“I won’t give it a chance because we’re different. We like different things, and well, sometimes they can be too much to compromise.”

“Like what, huh?”

You looked down in your lap, playing with the lint that stuck to your leggings. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but you knew it would hold a lot of importance to this relationship. Taking a sharp breath, you told him the truth.

“I don’t like dogs. In fact, they terrify me.”

Chris lurched back as if it was the last thing he expected to come from you. He probably expected some tale of family drama or relationship trauma, but your reasons were simpler. You had cynophobia, the fear of dogs. You couldn’t be in the same room with them without getting shit scared. Chris blinked at you, like it was the dumbest thing you could have said.

“Excuse me? You refuse to go out with me because you don’t like dogs?”

You gave him a critical look, raising a brow.

“Have you seen your social media accounts? You love Dodger probably more than you love any human being. You’re a self-proclaimed ‘huge dog guy’. And me…I can’t be in the same room with one. We won’t work out Chris, and I would rather save myself the heartbreak.”

This was clearly not something Chris was prepared for. He looked baffled, not knowing what to say. You wished it were a small thing, but it wasn’t. Everyone who knew Chris could tell how much he loved dogs. His Instagram page was basically a Dodger fan page. He had the name tattooed on his body. You could never work out simply because Chris would always be choosing between you and his doggo, and you would be too busy being scared of him to enjoy your time with Chris.

He released a deep breath, straightening his shoulders.

“We’ll make it happen. A lot of people fear things, and they get over it. It can work out. When you meet Dodger, you’ll forget you’d ever been scared of a dog. He’s a good boy, trust me.”

“Chris” You said shaking your head, “You don’t understand. I like dogs but only from afar. They terrify the living daylights out of me. I just – why don’t you understand? This is already so embarrassing”

He got up and sat next to you, his hand on your shoulder. “Look, just give me one chance. I know we can be great, okay? One chance is all I am asking. If it gets too much, we end it. I promise, it will be like nothing ever happened.”

You didn’t want to believe him. You shouldn’t have, but he was the man you’d been crushing on for nearly a year now. He was smart and kind and funny, he worked for the good causes and god he was such a treat to look at. You should have said no, had your coffee and left it at that. But there was only so many times you can say no to Chris Evans, especially when he’s pursuing you like the proverbial hound of hell.

“One chance Chris.”

+++++

This was a bad idea and you were regretting it already. You were practically hiding behind Chris, bunching his shirt under both hands as your head peeked over his large body. You were not ready to meet Dodger, at least not without a bomb suit.

“Hey, relax, he’s a right love. I’ve been showing him your pictures on my phone and he loves you already.” Chris tried to placate you and you replied with a pathetic whimper.

The door had barely opened before the golden brown doggo ran towards you and you squeaked. He bounded on Chris and you, Chris laughing and rubbing him behind the ear while you backed away. Dodger kept trying to come towards you and Chris had to hold him back by the collar while offering you a hand.

“Come on Y/n, he doesn’t bite. He’s a cutie.” Chris called but you shook your head, your knees vibrating. You edged away, taking deep gulps of breath as fear overtook you. It was pathetic really how scared you were since Dodger wasn’t even a huge dog, but it still took every last bit of your willpower to not just run away.

“Chris I can’t. Please.” You begged and he must have heard the fear in your voice. He pulled Dodger inside the house, the barks getting fainter as they moved in and you stayed frozen in your track. He came out after a couple minutes and immediately took your shoulders, rubbing softly.

“Hey, hey look at me. He’s inside now, okay?”

You nodded and buried your head in his chest, feeling more embarrassed than ever. Chris hugged you, shushing you gently.

“I am so sorry Chris, I just can’t. I told you this won’t work” You said, and Chris pulled away to look in your eyes. His blue eyes were determined as they stared in yours and you blinked up at him with watery eyes.

“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have sprung this up on you like this. We’ll start small, okay?” He urged and you bit your lip, uncertain. Chris rubbed his nose to yours, pressing a kiss on your lips and both your cheeks. “Please Y/n, just give me more time. We’ll work it out.”

You wanted it to work out too. The dates you had gone on had been nothing short of amazing. When you were with Chris you laughed like never before, the conversation so unrestrained. You didn’t worry about hiding your flaws, feeling so comfortable in his company. And then there was the sex. It was so good. In fact, it was spectacular.

“I don’t know how we’ll make it work.” You admitted softly and Chris smiled at you, cupping your face in his huge hands.

“We’ll do it together baby. Don’t give up on us just yet please.” You pressed your forehead to his and breathed in his scent, letting it wash over you. Nodding your affirmation, you let him lead you inside his house, Dodger locked inside the bedroom.

“I feel terrible for locking him in.” You said and you did. Just because dogs scare you doesn’t mean you hate them. You just feared going near them. You watched those cute puppy videos on YouTube to help relax yourself, only you didn’t want any dogs around you.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s with his stuffed lion.”

You cuddled on the couch, watching some 90s movie and you wished with everything that this would somehow work out.

+++++

It took you a while to decide if this was heaven or hell. You were awing and yelping simultaneously, and Chris laughed from behind you, his hands wrapped around your waist. Nuzzling his nose in your neck, he bit your ear softly uncaring of the people around you.

“Oh my god” You must have said this a dozen times already, but you were simply in awe. When Chris said you’ll start small you didn’t think he meant literally. In front of you were some of the cutest, softest, smallest puppies and you finally decided this was heaven.

“I figured we’ll begin from the beginning. Go up slowly, get you used to being around canines.” He bit you again as he said that and you giggled. Turning your head, you captured his lips in an elated kiss, touched that he was going to go through this with you.

“This is amazing.” You said and the corners of his eyes crinkled with his smile. He led you to the corner where a small black puppy with spots on his toes was wagging his tail at you. You awed, not afraid of him in the least.

“You wanna tell me about your phobia a little?” Chris asked as you cradled the pup in the crook of your elbow, the little darling loving your finger running over his small belly.

“It’s kinda silly but when I was four, I was chased by my neighbor’s dog. I ran like hell and it almost bit me before they got it back in control. I’ve feared them ever since.”

Chris hummed, kissing the pup in his own hands and giving you a soft smile.

“This helps?”

“This helps.” You agreed.

Chris and you must have petted a dozen puppies, holding them in your hands, cooing to them and kissing their small noses. You clicked pictures and fed them from your hands, a cacophony of kissy noises and good boys flowing from you both.

“I’m gonna have to hide these pics or Dodger is gonna get jealous.” Chris said and you snorted, snuggling into his side. It was a beautiful day at the shelter, and you were surprised at how fun it was. Tired as you were, you were also acutely aware of Chris’s hand creeping up your thigh in the car. You looked out the window, suppressing your smile.

“So, we made some progress today” He said, and you hummed. “And you had a lot of fun” You hummed again.

Chris pulled you to him roughly by your collar, his tongue poking out to just lick at your bottom lip.

“I think I deserve a reward…” He trailed off and you finally let a smile spread on your lips.

“I think you do Mr. Evans” You agreed and pressed your lips over his, hoping the driver will overlook the noises in the back.

+++++

Baby steps worked, and over the course of the next few weeks you got more comfortable around dogs. You spent a lot of time with pups of all breeds, slowly moving on to the bigger dogs. It wasn’t all easy, few visits ended in tears and hopelessness, but Chris stayed by your side. He let you set the pace, accompanying you every time and praising you for every obstacle you crossed. He didn’t mind spending most of the time at your place and waved off your apologies about Dodger.

“We’re doing this for him too, so he can get to know you better. It’s okay with me.” He assured you after a passionate round of love making. You traced Dodger’s name on his bare chest, finger roving over the other scattered tattoos. He loved it when you traced them with your tongue and bit his nipples.

“I think I’d like to try another visit with him.” You finally admitted, peeking up at him from under your lashes. Chris grinned, pulling you closer.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting.”

“I think I’m ready Chris. I want to meet the good boy who’s sharing your heart with me.”

Rolling over you, Chris pressed kisses over your collar bones and chest, hands squeezing your curves. Your lips mashed together in a sloppy kiss and you felt him smile against you.

“There is no one else I’d rather give my heart to other than you and him.”

+++++

This time when the door opened you were not hiding behind Chris. You held a soft chew toy in your hand, a gift and an apology. Dodger ran towards Chris, tail wagging aggressively as he licked and nipped at every exposed bit of skin he could find. Chris giggled as he rubbed and scratched his baby, and you were very proud of not making any distressed sound or running away. When Dodger finally turned to you, you tentatively came towards him with the toy.

“Hello Dodger, you sweet sweet boy.” You greeted. You’d been with dogs almost as big as him now and felt little apprehension touching his soft coat. He whined under your touch, leaning into you and rubbing against your legs. Chris joined you, his hand finding yours in Dodger’s fur.

“Look buddy, mummy is ready to meet you. You like her, eh?”

Dodger barked in agreement, rolling over for belly rubs while you stared at Chris coyly.

“Mummy eh?” You teased and Chris blushed, kissing you softly.

“Well, only if you’ll have Dodger’s dad.” He said.

You playfully sat down on the floor, letting the cutie climb on your lap and scratching behind his ears that made him purr in satisfaction.

“What do you say Dodge, should I take him?” You asked and he wagged his tail, rolling around in your lap. You gazed lovingly at Chris, softly touching his bearded face.

“Well, only because Dodger says so.”

+++++

Taglist:

@shooting-star-love @what-is-your-wish @stanmysoul @littlegasps @bluemusickid @sweeterthanthis @scentedsongrebel

[tdcloud]

Spooky Scary Vampires (upcoming IP teaser) (blog#8)

Happy July! The thick of summer is upon us and everything feels like it’s ramping up in terms of heat, workload, and travel. After so many years of just not doing much or going anywhere, I feel a bit out of practice with the hustle! As of right now, I’m now in a lull between conventions. Thank god, really. After two conventions and nearly a month of being sick as a dog, I feel like I need the break to get caught back up on things. But that’s not what you guys are here for, right? I’ll save my bellyaching for another time and get us onto the topic of this month’s author blog. Namely, another teaser to an upcoming project!

Now, some of you may be aware that at any given moment I’ve got like, at least three or more irons in the fire. I do my best to finish projects entirely before moving onto new ones (Hiraeth is a big exception to that rule, but in my defense, I am working on it and the world as a whole sought to waylay the project OTL) but I’ve found that interspersing larger projects with short ones can help keep up momentum on both. Humans are suckers for instant gratification, and anyone who’s ever tried to write a book before can tell you that it’s not an easy or short process. It’s easy to get burnt out or worn down by the slog of working your way through a 500+ page story. At some points, it doesn’t feel like making progress at all. Taking a month or two to divert focus to write an 80 page novella, though, is a much faster prospect. Five chapters feels a hell of a lot more doable than 28, and switching between both builds up momentum that’ll help get through each a lot quicker than if I’d kept them independent. 

It’s because of all of that that I’ve really been grateful for Patreon as an avenue to creating short content alongside my longer stuff. The yearly short story event lets me carve out a portion of the year to dedicate to hammering out something to completion all at once and the monthly patron pick poll rotation helps me put out a constant, steady stream of progress on a variety of novellas. Without the monthly rotation, getting through the three vigilante novellas wouldn’t have been nearly as easy, and this way, I get to dabble in a bunch of disparate ideas that keep my brain fresh and inspiration juicy. That goes for genres too. A lot of my current long-project work involves heavy lore, intense plot, and characters of a very specific persuasion. Novellas let me write comedy when all I’m surrounded by is serious drama, horror when I’m drowning in fluffy romance, and adventure when the political intrigue becomes stifling. In essence, I get to write movies instead of epics, and I really, really enjoy that change of pace when I can fit it in.

But I digress. So, what’s the new IP, T.D.? 

Well, as I described it on Patreon during the lead up to last year’s October novella event, survival horror but make it horny!

-cue the sound of cheers, jeers, and final girl screams-

As you may have gathered, this story, Ossuary, is solidly in the category of movie when it comes to my dichotomy of project types. To be perfectly honest, I originally conceptualized Ossuary as my attempt at writing a slasher movie in the form of a novella. By “slasher” though, I’m being a bit general. This story is much more of The Descent than it is Scream or Halloween. Turns out it’s hard to keep to the slasher genres surface level/shallow character trope when you’re literally in their heads in a fixed pov novel format XD Still, I’m a huge horror fan and, while some of my work certainly has horror elements or themes at times, I’ve never gotten the chance to write what I’d consider a horror book before. Thankfully, my patrons last year were really receptive to letting me have the chance to do just that! It was a lovely surprise when that option won the overall poll. Sometimes I operate under the assumption that the whole world prefers soft, fluffy things and I’m the only one aching for blood and fear and complete party-wipes in my fiction, so every time my patrons prove me wrong I gain another twenty lifepoints. 

The summary for Ossuary is as follows:

Work as a Curse Breaker is anything but glamorous. It’s difficult, gruesome at times, and it takes Curse Breaker Thierry Pryor to places better left untouched. The Paris Catacombs were once a symbol of French identity, the true sign of death making all equal in the end, but after centuries of layered spell work, ancient hexes, and more than one hastily patched protective charm, the resulting magical amalgam has begun to break down, tainting the surrounding land. It’s up to Thierry and his team to figure out the source of the miasma and quell it before it begins having an effect on those living above the city of the dead.

But unlike the jobs before, there’s something at work in the catacombs much more sinister than some moldering family curse. Sometimes the dead sleep more soundly than the living, but then again, maybe some of the dead don’t sleep willingly at all..

Surprising absolutely nobody, this novella combines a lot of my favorite things: a sad, beleaguered and alienated protagonist, a yandere vampire half-out of his mind with loss, thirst, and obsession, and a dynamic that toes the line of off-putting and intriguing. If you guys haven’t gathered by now that I have an eternal hard on for vampires, I don’t know what to do at this point. A lot of the vampire things I’ve been working on for the DVerse (which will probably get its own blog post—or six—later on this year) are more mystery oriented than outright horror. Ossuary gave me a vampiric outlet that satisfied my need for something DIFFERENT, something fucked up! It’s not much of a romance. Maybe if you squint? But if you like high stakes situations, life-or-death decision making, corruption of the protagonist, and destruction of the self in preservation of staying “alive”... You may just like it too!

I’ve had this premise cooking for… at least three years? Something like that. I remember wanting to write something involving a witch with an affinity for dark magic and curses living and working in a magical world that maligns that. I don’t normally write up story notes by hand—my handwriting is atrocious and I’m so much faster at typing than writing that it just doesn’t work well for me as a medium for recording my thoughts—but for a time I did dedicate some effort towards working out of notebooks in the vain hope of improving my out of practice penmanship. I’d driven to the next city over to meet with a seamstress I knew in order to get some measurements taken for a Hua Cheng cosplay XD and arrived a bit too early to meet her. To kill time, I drove to the library in town. Once there, I found myself a table to sit at and pulled out my hedgehog notebook and proceeded to write up the very first story notes on the premise that would, in time, become Ossuary.

They weren’t detailed notes. They were largely just basic aesthetic ideas involving how Thierry would look, some of his family history, and the dynamic I wanted to achieve between him and his… to call the vampire a love interest seems mean XD The highlights are kind of fun though.

Aesthetically, Thierry and the vampire are modeled off of Ferdinand and Hubert from Fire Emblem, namely in the long red hair/wavy dark hair dynamic, and in the vampire having Hubert’s facial bone structure. Those cheekbones had a hold of me big time.

Character trait-wise, I used Draco Malfoy as a base when it came to extrapolating Thierry’s backstory/reputation within the magical world. Fuck the terf-who-must-not-be-named, but Draco’s always been a criminally underutilized and under-explored character in my mind ever since I was a kid, and I wanted to take some of those bones and do something More with them. 

Since this was meant to be a slasher movie, I wrote the surrounding cast as if they were common character trope types within a horror movie, so there’s an “asshole jock”, a “red shirt”, and “a mediator.” Each has a lot more going on with them than those wide brushstrokes, but at their core, they’re there to serve those purposes.

The plot specifics themselves didn’t come until later on, and they went through a lot of revision and tweaking as I sorted out what sort of story I wanted to tell. I’m a huge fan of the idea of “hero corruption,” and initially, I wasn’t going to let Thierry be a hero. I wanted him to be a “burn the world that’s always burned me” sort of character, but as the story unfolded, it did not end up being that at all XD To be honest, I blame myself and my predilections for that. I have a terrible habit of always sculpting my protagonists to be outcasts in some way. Thieves, freaks, rejects, bastards… Either they are born that way or are made that way through bad luck and fickle turns of fate, and Thierry, the poor thing, is an unfortunate combination of both. He comes from a family of magic users who were, once upon a time, renowned for their ability to use dark magic to hunt down monsters. While their dark magic served a purpose and protected the innocent from a common threat, they were lauded as heroes, but after perceptions shifted and the monsters they hunted were found to be more cognizant than first assumed, their luck shifted. Their dark magic became the new threat. The monsters became victims. The Pryors bloody deeds, once viewed as heroic, simply became bloody, and Thierry? Thierry just became the latest link in a sordid chain that society no longer trusts or respects.

He could’ve easy turned his back on things and let it all burn at his feet, but the truth of what actually happens isn’t nearly so cathartic—life as a whole, and the horrors he encounters and confronts in the catacombs, refuse to let it be, and while I once again failed to achieve my long-held goal to write a proper corruption arc… I achieved a very fun story of a different kind with Ossuary, and let’s be honest… there’s always next time XD

At it's core, Ossuary is what the summary implies. It's a story about Thierry just trying to do his job the best he can and society refusing to see him as anything but what rumor and generational stigma wants him to be. He is incredibly gifted but never valued or treated better for his skill set, even among his own peers--something we see in lurid display as he and his team move through the Catacombs in search of the source of malignant, broken curses poisoning the watershed up above. The truth of his family history is never far from him, and positive first impressions corrupt faster than the groundwater when fanned by the flames of those who already hate him. Thierry always thought he understood what his family had done to earn such negative associations. The fun thing about this book--fun for us, I should say. It's never fun for Thierry--is that his family truly was that bad. In fact, they were worse, and the vampire slumbering so unwillingly beneath the earth proves it in time, and certainly in his own way.

What can I tell you about the vampire... Not a lot, unfortunately. So much of who he is and what he's about is tied into the myriad twists of this story. What I can tell you is that this is a take on vampires I've never tried writing before. It's a very unique study on vampires as a different species from humans. No human can be turned into a vampire. No vampire ever used to be human--at least, none that any are aware of. They are not human. They do not have human sentiments, morality, or compunctions. There was a reason they used to be hunted, even if Thierry's generation refuses to acknowledge it. They can be dangerous beings with immeasurably long memories.

In fact, if there's one thing you can count on when it comes to this vampire, it's that he remembers everything.

So, he's an antagonist. He's a love interest--though to Thierry, he's likely just a nightmare. He's our Frankenstein's Monster and our bloodthirsty Lord Ruthven all at once. This story leans towards the Victorian in terms of Romance with a capital R, so I can't in good conscience call it even a dark romance. It's animal obsession, animal fear, and a testament that no good deed goes unpunished, and every choice we make comes with a pound of flesh that must be paid. It's probably some of the darkest stuff I've written and will likely have to have some warnings tacked onto every sales page it graces, but if you're like me and into subversive dynamics, fear as a motivating device, and "survival horror but make it horny," you may be into it too.

Ahh, I love getting to tease upcoming stories but I hate how limited I am in what I can say without giving too much away. Ossuary is, unfortunately, the sort of read that really does benefit from the reader being kept in the dark as much as possible beforehand, to the point where I really only feel comfortable discussing Thierry and not his… love interest? Antagonist? Worst nightmare? I’m the sort of person who will gleefully tell anyone the entire plot of a book if given half a chance. I’m not really the kind of person who minds spoilers, but I know that’s a minority opinion. With any luck I’ve given you guys enough to whet your appetites! And if I haven’t, you can always leave a comment and let me know your burning questions <3

I’ve really fallen for this story and the characters. You’ll understand more once you’ve read it, but it’s the sort of story that has a lot more that goes unsaid at the end than can be tied up neatly in a blood-spattered bow. This is a story with no good ending but an open one, and that means that it’s the sort of story that can, in theory, keep going long past the point of closing the book. Because of that, I’ve been tinkering around with a sequel of sorts. I don’t know if I’ll ever bother publishing it—it really depends on if I decide to end that one or carry on in the vein of letting things end ambiguous and openly—but it’s been a ton of fun to toy with when I’m craving a certain kind of buzz. I’ve always really enjoyed premises that have no satisfactory End. No “happy” ever. Sometimes, I’ve found, the only happy ending—or the happiest we’re capable of achieving—is one in which we never encounter the end. This is all sounding very vague XD but I promise, it’ll all make abundant sense once you’ve read Ossuary yourself.

This story is currently on the active editing block and will maybe be out at the end of this year? I don’t have an artist lined up for it just yet, so that makes it a little harder to predict on that front. With any luck, my editor and I will get through the last of the edits before we hit August. If it sounds like something you’d like to check out now, though, the first draft is available on my Patreon for all tiers. We’ve already voted this year on what I’ll be writing for everyone this upcoming October, so it’s a great time to pledge, catch up on the backlog, and buckle in for the next novella on the docket. It’s a rewrite of an ancient piece of original fiction I wrote back when I was 16 involving a misanthropic goth who enjoys long walks in cemeteries at 3am, an archdemon simp with more fixations than common sense, and a trip to Hell redolent of Carnival. I’m really excited to begin work on it. 

That’s it for this month! I hope you guys are amped for Ossuary and the other fun things I’ve got cooking in the background. I may have a publication announcement (?) to share with you guys soon as well, so if there’s another blog update between now and next month, don’t be too surprised! Keep your fingers crossed and, as always, until next time!

T.D. Cloud

[misstrashchan]

Hi!

I have seen you are into podcasts? I wanted to try consuming some stories in this media format because I am curious... however, I do not know much.

Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you!

Okay, so I don't know what kind of genres or stories you might like or be looking for, but the majority of podcasts I'm familiar with and can recommend are mainly horror, or have horror elements. So, fair warning there. (Most podcasts on this list include trigger warnings in the episode descriptions too)

The Penumbra Podcast- I'd say this is a good, safe starting point to see if you like consuming stories in podcasts. The first season started out as an anthology series for a variety of stories, ranging from sci-fi noir detective mysteries, swashbuckling westerns, haunted houses, knights slaying monsters, etc. The main premise of the podcast is "stories you've heard before told in ways you'd never expect".

There are two reoccurring storylines, Juno Steel (sci-fi/noir) and the Second Citadel (fantasy/adventure) that the show focuses on more so as it goes on and drifts away from the anthology format, but you can choose to just focus on one and come back to the other later, as the two stories are completely seperate from each other and don't need to be listened to understand the other. Same if you don't want to listen to the horror anthology episodes like Shaken and Home and would rather skip them over (though they are fantastic if you do like horror). It's very engaging, fun, diverse and energetic, and excellent voice acting and sound design. Just a good time all round.

Currently there's three complete seasons out, episode runtime ranging 30-45 minutes and a currently ongoing series. Here's the teaser:

Alice Isn't Dead- So this is just a firm favorite of mine in podcasts, hell, it's one of my favorite stories in general.  Keisha, the narrator – a truck driver who is driving across America, delivery to delivery, is looking for her missing wife, Alice. We listen to her speak into the truck radio, partially musing to herself, partially addressing Alice as though she is leaving her a voicemail describing her travels and the bleakness of the road ahead – and worse, the potential of what follows her. It's a horror, a psychological thriller and a mystery, told in short, sharp chapters. The way in which the story is told makes excellent use of the audio medium and actively incorporates it into how the story at hand is being told, which I just adore when podcasts do. (There's a book version out and it just doesn't quite hit the same mark as it does in podcast format). In general it makes for a very intense and intimate experience that just keeps you hooked all the way through.

The story is complete at three seasons with 30 episodes each with a 20 minute runtime.

The Magnus Archives- If you follow me, or if you've been on Tumblr in general, you might already have a vague awareness of this series because of how popular it is, and for good reason too. It's a completed slowburn 200 episode cosmic horror/tragedy/drama that at it's core is an anthology series, every episode being a seemingly self contained short horror story.

Given as "statements" by people who have had paranormal or esoteric encounters to the Magnus Institute based in London, which is dedicated to researching such things, is then recorded onto tapes by the narrator and protagonist Jonathan Sims, (one of my favourite tragic heroes) the newly appointed Head Archivist after his predecessors mysterious death, who appears to have purposefully disorganized the Archives, much to his annoyance. But then patterns begin to occur within the statements, characters and previous statement givers appear in other's stories as they intersect like a huge web, and it's clear that there's something much larger and sinister at play as an overarching narrative comes into view that then draws the Archivist in.

Similar to Alice Isn't Dead, the Magnus Archives makes use of the audio medium and actively incorporates it into how it tells the story with how every statement is recorded onto tapes, as well as the events of the strange happenings in the Archives that the main characters (the Archivist, his research team, and the head of the Magnus Institute) experience themselves. Though without spoiling anything, the tapes themselves have a far more relevant and a active role in not just telling the story, but as the story and world itself.

This was a passion project for the writer, Jonathan Sims, (yes that is the name of the main character which he also voices, yes it is confusing) for a long time, and you can absolutely tell with how planned out the meta plot and intricate lore is, as well as just the quality of the writing in general. It covers all kinds of horrors and explores the concept of human fear itself, our personal relationship to it, which ties into the themes of agency and humanity the series also explores.

(trailer starts at 1:00)

The Silt Verses-

Let Me Speak First of Revelations

And Next of Dark Deceit

Then I'll Speak of Champions

Of Lovers, Gods and Beasts

My Song is Long and Twisted

It Winds, it Worms, It Rends

It Carries Few, It Drowns Many

And Those I Love, It Rends

This podcast is a fairly recent newcomer compared to the rest on the list, the first season is still ongoing, with only nine episodes out so far out of its fourteen with a season two planned ahead as well (with a roughly 40 minute episode runtime) but is absolutely divine. I'm genuinely frustrated that I'm not articulate enough to properly describe just how clever this series is, and can't recommend it enough.

A folk horror/religious fantasy serial drama that follows Carpenter and Faulkner, two river worshippers of an outlawed god, travelling up the length of their deities great black river, in search of revelations. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories.

If you like themes of religious existentialism, how capitalism will commodify everything once deemed sacred, the indescribable horrors that arise from religious fanaticism/cults, rich lore and world building and complex morally grey protagonists who act as fascinating character foils to one another, lyrical and poetic narration, an eerie atmosphere, and don't mind the occasional intense scenes of body horror, you will love this podcast.

Oh, and crabs.

(I would also highly recommend I Am in Eskew by the same writer, his previous and completed podcast at 30 episodes, about a man living day to day within the monstrous city Eskew, but as an overall story and characters the Silt Verses is the much stronger of the two.)

[csykora]

hockey, a primer

Hockey is a quick game to start watching. Fundamentally there’s a goalie guarding the net, two defensive players guarding the goalie, and three offensive forwards attacking the other team’s net.

Unlike normal sports, hockey players break the rules a lot. Common infractions include smacking another player with your stick, pretending they smacked you with their stick, poking them in the dick with your stick when you are not on the ice, licking them (yes we need this rule) and tripping them. This happens every couple minutes, and the player is punished by having to sit alone for a couple minutes while the teams continue to play with an uneven number of players. 

This is called the man advantage, powerplay, or, regrettably, the PP for the team who didn’t do a crime, and the penalty kill for the guilty team. There aren’t a lot of set plays compared to something like football, and what strategy there is in the game depends on this. Listen closely and you will hear someone’s dad already screaming more information about special teams into your ear.

You do not need to know the names of the formations used in special teams. Just watch how the puck gets from one person to the next, or how it doesn’t, and you will start to see the important things.

Rosters

Each forward line has two wingers, who are expected to skate fast up and down the sides of the ice and take the most shots, and the center, who manages the middle, passing the puck between the others and directing them into the right series of positions so the puck can be bounced to where it needs to go: they’re the brains of the operation (with the goalie also using their unique view of the full rink to direct play by banging their stick and swearing at the players in front of them). 

Sometimes multiple players who usually play the center position are put out at the same time, with some of them taking up the wing position. This strategy is called a ‘two-’ or ‘three-headed monster’ in the NHL, because a ‘natural center’ is thought to be a smarter strategy player.

Defense is organized in pairs, so one person takes each side. Compared to forwards who mostly skate...you know...defenders have to be able to skate equally well going forwards and backwards, which requires a different skating stride. Their main goal is to isolate and disrupt the other team’s forwards, by positioning their bodies in the ‘passing lane’ between two opposing players so they can’t pass to each other or in the shooting lane in front of a player so they can’t shoot, or by knocking the opponent out of position.

Often you’ll see one defender will tend to “stay at home” guarding the net while the other swings out wide or follows the forwards into the other team’s zone as a second wave of offense. 

A team has enough to make three pairs of D and four lines of forwards, which are numbered. Flashy stars are expected to be in line 1 and 2 (the ‘top’), workmen in 3 and 4 (the ‘bottom six’), and by tradition the 4th line in particular are your rowdy boys who lay the most hits and start fights. Everyone knows those ranks are kind of imaginary, but players getting moved up or down the hierarchy gives us Drama. Hockey players mate for life, and usually play with the same D-partner or linemates, but they can also be swapped around into different combinations when the coach sees fit.

Structure

The NHL plays a bonkers number of games. Most years, the hockey season starts in the fall and grinds with games every other day or so through the winter until the players are all dehydrated and exhausted, at which point the playoffs start. The Stanley Cup playoffs are four rounds of best-of-seven elimination series, and it’s often described as the most intense championship in sports. This year, we’ve just wrapped up made-up qualifiers to pick the teams that will start the first round of the playoffs tomorrow.

Please follow a smarter blog than me for current updates on the North American women’s leagues. I am going to refer to the North American women’s game, but I’m not the best source on it.

The KHL and ZhWL play a slightly less bonkers number of games, but make up for it by being weird as shit and incorporate live music, even live-er pyrotechnics, and swords. You can buy access to games for about a cup of coffee.

The EIHL is in Britain, and I don’t know when they play but they do, so if you’re one of the British people who ask me this question, good luck

North America vs The World

International hockey is played on a larger and wider rink than North American hockey. More space means that passing accurately and skating efficiently become more important, and it’s statistically less likely that players will bump into each other, so hitting is less important than in North American men’s hockey. The greater width means that wingers in the Continental Hockey League (KHL) and other national leagues are expected to control a decent chunk of open ice, not just the lane along the boards, so they’re more like North American centers, running the “three-headed monster” play all the time.

When men’s Team Canada plays on international ice, they’re able to fill their roster with centers, bridging the two styles.

Overpassing

Overpassing is a buzzword used to critique both women’s hockey players and Russian men’s hockey players. In North American men’s hockey, there’s a principle that the person who carries the puck into the attacking zone should be the one to shoot it, or make at most one pass: passing back and forth in the offensive zone ‘wastes time’ and increases the risk that the defenders will intercept one of those passes and take possession.

But this is something Russian men’s players are actually taught to do. They are expected to be more accurate passers, so the risk of the pass being intercepted should be low anyway. Shooting is almost guaranteed to give up possession, after which the other team will have a chance to shoot and score on you…so why not keep passing it around we either have a perfect opening or we run down the clock?

Women’s hockey players are similarly good enough skaters (young girls often come into the sport with figure skating experience and they all receive a high level of skate training) and passers that they can hold possession. They are trained to be very aware of how their teammates are positioned, and so they will pass more in the zone.

Think of it like this: North American men think, “I gotta shoot the puck to score goals before the other guy smashes me and takes it and scores goals with it!”, women think, “I’ve got a 50/50 chance if I shoot, but my girl over there is 100%” and Russian men think, “Aw, you want this puck? You wanna shoot it and score goals with it? Okay…catch me first.”

More on different styles

the hockey puppy mill

In Canada, players go through a junior league system that has several tiers and leagues. At 16, they’re typically drafted into major juniors in the Canadian Hockey League, which has three branches, the Ontario Hockey League (“the O”), the Quebec Major Junior League (the Q), or the Western Hockey League. At that point they often move away from their family to ‘billet’ with a family who either work for the team or whose own son was drafted away to a different team.

Because players are paid stipends and players over 18 who have already signed with NHL teams are allowed to play in major juniors, this is considered a professional league, so they are not allowed to play NCAA sports after playing in major juniors. Others choose to play in Junior A (smaller than the CHL) to preserve their pro-virginity for college.

In the US, the United States Hockey League runs Tier I hockey. Players’ equipment expenses are covered and they are often billeted, but because they’re not directly paid, USHLers are allowed to play NCAA sports in college.

If a player is drafted by an NHL team at 18, they may choose to play in the NCAA while getting a degree, continue in juniors, or be sent to the NHL team’s American League (AHL) team. Players who weren’t drafted do the school or junior thing and might be able to sign with an NHL team independently. While players are eligible to play in the NHL at 18, it is a very weird and recent development for them to actually do that; generally 20-22 is a common age for forwards to debut, 22-24 for defensemen, and 24+ for goalies.

North American women often play high school or with boys in juniors up to the AHL, before going NCAA and then to European women’s leagues or if possible to the North American women’s leagues.

In Russia, players take classes at hockey schools, usually affiliated with the local KHL team, after their ordinary school lets out for the say. They start with a combination of skating technique and playtime to encourage creativity, with the hours increasing as they grow up and are promoted through the team’s own junior levels to MHL (the AHL equivalent) and the main KHL team. Players are eligible for the KHL at 16. While they often stay in their hometown, they can choose to go to a different team’s hockey school at certain points, in which case they or their families move to school housing.

More on culture

Equipment

Skates

Skates have a firm boot and a blade which has two sharp edges with a hollow in between. They do not have toe picks, so skaters have to use a two-foot parallel stop or “hockey stop”

Hockey stops send up a cloud of snow so they’re a great way to be a dick to your teammates, and they make a swoosh swoosh SWOOSH sound that’s just great.

You will be able to see who is a great skater, trust your eye. There are lots of different ways to be a great skater that you can start to appreciate. Some people are fast on the straightaways, some people can pick up speed more quickly over short distances, some are more mobile with lots of fine turns, some have endurance.

Sticks

Hockey sticks are made of different materials with different levels of whippiness. They have a shaft, which is cut to measure from the ground to somewhere between your chin and your eyebrows. Forwards tend to go shorter for control, defensemen longer for reach. No player is allowed to carry a stick over 63” unless they have a height exemption, which is why Colton Parayko has to carry a Certified Big Boy card and his own teammate once got a penalty for coping a feel of his stick. The blade curves forward away from you as you hold it, and the blade and top of the shaft are wrapped with slightly grippy tape. Some people care a lot about tape.

Your dominant hand usually goes at the top of your stick to control it, with your non-dominant hand on the shaft providing the power for most shots. Your hockey-handedness is named after the side of your body the blade stick is on: if you are right-handed, your right hand is on top, left hand is on the shaft, and you have a left-handed shot. 

That makes for a lot more natural left shooters than natural right shooters. Because you have the wall on one side and passes coming from another, it’s in some ways difficult for a left shooter to play on the right side of the ice. That means that the people who do have to play their “off wing” learn to switch how they hold their stick and will usually be very good at it, and can surprise the other team in certain ways, but there are strategic advantages to natural handedness, especially on defense. Coaches fantasize about having three pairs of perfectly matched right- and left-side defensemen, so right-shooting/left-handed d-men are hot shit.

The whippiness or stiffness of your stick helps you with your choice of less powerful, more accurate wristshots (which make the pretty ting! sound off the goalposts), medium one-timers and snapshots, preferred by forwards, or the big booming slapshots that defensemen use when they don’t much care for whoever’s between them and the other team’s goalie.

Pads

If you are going to shout an opinion about injuries, hits, fights, concussions, exemptions for young or small players, etc, please, you need to understand pads. This shit matters.

Hockey pads for skaters cover the lower legs and wrap from the shoulders across the upper chest and down the arms. This is why certain plays are held to be more or less dangerous than you might instinctively think. (More on weird injuries: here and here)

There are chinks in the armor at the knee/calf, wrist, and none at all on their belly, so a slash to the wrists or a blow/blade coming anywhere near someone’s stomach is very different than one landing elsewhere. The modern skate boot is also very stiff and ‘locks’ your foot in a certain position relative to your leg, so trips and falls can easily lead to foot injuries. Slashing, tripping, and especially kicking have a really good chance of hurting someone, which is why they are treated that way even if by good luck no one was hurt this time.

Pads are soft-cap or hard-cap: soft-cap is a thick layer of padding, hard-cap is a literal hard plastic shell armor. Hard-cap pads are illegal at major junior levels of competition and in rec leagues, because you can’t really feel through them: if you’re wearing soft pads and lay a hit on someone, you’ll both feel it, so there’s an upper limit on how much force you want to hit them with, but in hard pads you can smash someone into oblivion without hurting yourself. This is the same reason why you drop gloves before fighting: hitting someone with an armored glove on hurts you less but lets you hurt them more.

Concussions are a type of traumatic brain injury when a large force moves through the head and neck, causing the brain to slosh around in the skull. It is not just caused by direct blows to the head, but by intense movement of the head when the body is hit elsewhere. Men’s hockey is a leading sport for concussions in men, and women’s hockey is a or the leading cause of concussions in women. This is a problem, because concussions are bad. This is not just because fighting is allowed in men’s hockey, but because of the forces and collisions in both games. 

Statistically, an individual NHL player lays hundreds of hits per season, and fights between zero and a dozen times. Across the league there might be about a hundred hits in each game, and there’s a fight about every other game. Each fight lasts about 6 seconds and involves about a dozen shots. So while fighting is not safe, about 60% of concussions are linked to the much more common shoulder and head hits.

I deeply, dearly do not care if you do or don’t like fights. It is fine. You do you. But if you say banning fights would cure concussions while ignoring the role of hits, I will hunt you down and smack your phone out of your hands with a foam roller.

Jerseys Because they’re standing on ice, which is slippy, players grab each other’s jersey sleeves or collars during fights to hold them in range and punch with the other hand. In the past, players would not only drop their gloves before a fight but try to strip their sweaters off as well: if you were totally topless, he wouldn’t have a handhold and wouldn’t be able to hit you effectively. Now, jerseys are hooked to hockey pants with an elastic “fight strap” to stop the stripping.

Also they’re fun to fuck with.

Hockey socks are actually two pieces: a normal sock that goes on your foot and in your skate and then a tube with no foot in team colors that you pull on over it. Some NHL players do not wear the sock in their skate. I’m not going to name names, but I feel very, very comfortable saying that it is only the men that do this.

Note: OMGCP is not a depiction of athletic practice, injuries and safety, or Northern North American communities/culture (much less Russian). I desperately do not care if you like it as what it is, but the plays that are presented as normal and the mechanisms of injury shown are not accurate, and might be dangerous to apply to real injuries. Please do not base your opinions of rule calls or injuries that affect the safety of real people on it.

Bonus facts:

Hockey is a sweaty, sweaty game. However much you are imagining: it’s more. Skaters lose an average of 1.5 liters of fluid in a game, and some lose 2 to 3 liters. Goalies lose about 3 liters every practice. Braden Holtby specifically sweats off 9 pounds. This is why you see them chewing bubblegum during the game, and why rubbing a glove on someone’s face is a playful (or not) insult

Athletes don’t eat pop “health food”. They do not eat salads every meal. Hockey players today are typically on protein-heavy diets during the summer and early season to put on weight (both muscle and fat, which plays an important role in hydration and metabolism!), then switch to carbohydrate-heavy diets to make up for the amount of energy they burn in the later part of the season. Many are on “low sugar” diets because…well, that was pop science in the era that their coaches trained in, but many are not. Exercise anorexia and overtraining are increasingly epidemic in the sport because of the focus on body fat and form that is institutionalized in many programs. More on body fat here: X

“Indian head” logos commemorate the practice of white settlers trading the severed heads or body parts of Native Americans for cash. This is bad. Support Indigenous and First Nations fans in changing the name.

[heliosthegriffin]

Gamer AU

Author’s Note: I really badly want to write a gamer!Jaune Fanfic, but getting a system to work that makes sense to me has been a bitch to deal with, and no, I don’t want to use the system from the Gamer, it’s over used. So I’ve been making my own system from the ground up. Any the story’s nowhere near ready for day light. Also, the main focus would be on Jaune and his immediate family and that drama, so pretty OC heavy. It’d also start pretty early in his life around ten or so, he also isn’t very interested in being a hunter, just making sure his family is happy and alive.

Any-who: Here’s a scene clip from my head, that’ll be better fleshed out later.

Scene: The Waterfront Cafe

Jaune hurriedly walks back and forth through the cafe, makings sure the dozen or so customers were being well cared for, while he cooks their food.

It was only midday, but he had already make a decent profit, meaning he didn’t have to work into the evening and keep the cafe open. A couple more weeks and he might have enough to permanently hired a waiter; For now though, he was soloing his way through running his sisters-... his cafe.

He shook his head and focused on the positive today. Like how he was fifteen years old and a successful business owner, well several businesses... and other things that were definitively illegal. but like Roman says “Legal is for people who don’t want to get rich.”

The thought of his friend, even if Roman would never admit it, brought a genuine smile to his face. He hoped Roman his enforcer came to visit soon. They made for good conversation, and were good tippers, even if the other one got a little grabby. Still, Roman had yet to send him a time to keep the Waterfront open for him to visit, so he’d have to keep a look out for one of his runners.

Only Jaune Arc would think so casually about having a powerful crime boss as a friend and customer, and his stab-happy murder goblin enforcer.

Also only Jaune Arc would fail to notice despite his Perception well over 70 that his genuine smile cause all who saw it to melt and turn their legs into jelly.

“First time?” “What? What do you mean? And what the hell was that!?” A customer whisper yelled.

“The Jaune Arc Smile, it has an effect on people. Beside the divine cooking, it’s one of the reason people come here.”

“... That's insane.”

“Oh, definitely. But, is that going to stop you from coming back?”

“I said that this was insane, but I didn’t say I was stupid. I haven’t felt so content in years.”

The two customers drifted off into conversation.

Jaune still failing to notice, having a professional standard of not ease-dropping on his customers.

Of course with that being the case Jaune failed to notice the two loud-mouth women who walked in and sat down at a table like they owned the place.

Neither woman was particularly attractive, or in shape, in-fact the only interesting thing about either was the fact that they both had dyed grey hair with grey contacts. With the only thing differing about the two, was the taller one was fat, and the shorter one thin.

“So, I said “what are you part of the Alpha Male Huntsmen agenda? Cause if you don’t give me that purse for free I’m going to cry rape!” Then he gave it to me and ran his little ass back to home.” The taller one said

“Oh, you are such a bad bitch!.” Replys the shorter one. “Oh, don’t I know it, so why are we here?”

“Oh, you don’t know, the food here is killer! Or, so I heard.”

“Really? It just looks like a shitty little cafe, the only thing really note is the location.”

“Yeah, I saw it while looking on the Scroll. Also, the service is great, but the thing is... It’s only run by one guy! You know what that means?” Shortys says

“Yes!”

““Free lunch!”“The a pair says together.

“When this glass of water get here!?”

“See, told you get the service was great!”

Jaune appears before the table, apron on, long golden hair in a ponytail and, notebook in hand. “Did some say service?

“Oh shit!”

“Fuck! Where did you come from?!” “Sorry Misses. I thought you two would like some service? I can give you more time if you’d like.”

The two get a full view of Jaunes features, reducing themselves into a blushing stuttering mess.

“There are you can scan the table for the menu if you like, or check the website, I’ll give you some more time.” Jaune says leaving with another pearly white smile.

Further burning out the pair’s brain cells.

A few minutes later.

“How, how can guy be so gorgeous? You said he was a guy right!?” The taller one says “Yeah, I did! All the reviews say he’s a guy!” Shortys says. “Like read this here, “The server is amazing, he always arrives on time, never pry's, but will always listen, what he cooks can only be called art and a world wonder, I am always happy to tip!”

The pair look at each other. “I thought it was reviewer bias.” “What ever, gorgeous or not, I’m getting a free meal today.” Say the fatter one.

The shorter one looks more hesitant. “I don’t know,, he looks so nice, it almost feels like a crime...”

“What do we care about crimes, when it’s the Alpha Male Huntsman Regime oppressing us!”

“... I’ll stick to paying, you do you though...” The shorter of the pair says, twirling her hair, heavily reconsidering keeping a different color.

“Whatever traitor, I’ll show you, and then you’ll see I’m right!”

“Suuure.” The shorter, and obviously smart one says disbelieving, ‘If he’s that pretty and nice, there’s no way that’s going to happen, cause either he’s way tough, or someones looking after him, otherwise this place would be out of business, with people trying to take advantage of him. ’

Half an hour later.

The larger one has several plates and cups empty before her, seemingly having everything on the menu, holding her bloated stomach in a state of ecstasy.

The shorter one only having finished a two plates, having had a club sandwich and muffin, along with the house brew, filling just the right amount of full and very content.

“Misses?” Jaune says “I hope you found everything to your liking.” His smile sweet like sugar, but warm like the spring breeze.

The shorter one blushes hard. “Uh, uh, yes” She finally squeaks out. “it was amazing...”

“’S alright, I guess” The fatter one says appearing disappointed and unimpressed.

Jaune seems a little hurt by the fatter one’s opinion, causing several other customers to look on murderously at the fat woman.

She is unfortunately oblivious to this.

Jaune lets go of the expression.” Well, my apologies miss, I’ll makes sure it’s better next time.”

‘It can get better!’ The fatty thinks.

The murderous glares grow sharper.

“I thought it was really good!” The shorter one says standing up, and then realizing how insanely tall and large Jaune is compared to her, and even her friend. His thighs being bigger than her torso, his pecs standing higher than she is and her friend. Yet he moved like the wind and with the grace of a dancer.

The large fatty snorts in disdainfully at her soon to be former friend.

“Now would you like to pay to together or separately?”

“I’m not pay-” The tall fatty begins. “Separately.” Only to be cut off by the shorter one. Who, glared at her, clearly unimpressed by her soon to be former friend.

Jaune nods and goes off to get their bills.

“The fuck was that! I was about to get us a free feel, bitch!”

“You were about to get us both kicked from the best cafe in the kingdom!”

“You, ungrateful cunt!”

“Whatever, I don’t need your approval,” She spots Jaune and walks over to take the bill, and tips him, before walking a way with an obvious skip in her step.

“Ma’am her is your bill-”

“I’m not paying.” “Come again?”

“I’m not paying you shit, you piece of garbage!” The woman says with a sneer.

Jaunes eyes narrow, he pulls up a chair and sits down staring her in the eyes.

“Why would that be ma’am, was there something not to your liking?” Jaune say his voice changing from airy, bubbly and sweet, to a deep, harsh, and cold tone. It was listening to a pop-star mixed with meowing of a kitten, and all the warmth of breezy, sunny  spring day, to a cold winter night in Mantle while listening to a murdering whisper death-core to you .

The fat grey-head shook with intense fear for all of three second before speaking again, but not without withdrawing her eyes from his own.

“I said before I’ll say it again bastard, I’m not paying you a cent, you Valiaen Huntsman supporting shitlord!”

“My father’s a huntsman, if you have a problem with them please, do keep them to yourself.”

“I’ll say whatever I want shitlord! And if you so much as touch me, I’ll scream you rape you rapist shithole!” The woman says, suddenly getting her confidence back, remembering that she’s the one with power in this situation, or so she thinks. “An if you try anything, beside letting me walk out of here without paying, I’ll make sure you never see your family again, or even better, make sure your whole Huntsman propaganda spewing familys face’s kicked from the kingdom! And guess what fuckup? I going to come back here tomorrow with my friends and your going to give us all a free-”

“Quiet.” A single word came from Jaune’s mouth, but from the way the woman closed her mouth it looked like he shut her mouth with his own two hands.

Jaune stopped holding back his overwhelming level of Personality and letting it Project forward, all 80 levels of it and his maxed out Intimidation.

The fat woman suddenly became aware of how close Jaune was to here, how big his hands are, how long and strong his arms are, he wouldn’t even need to get up to grab her neck across the table and his hands could cover her entire next with ease, it would take no effort for him to kill then and there, and that shook her.

From the corners of her eyes it was like she could she the other customer turnign way with, but not out of fear, but with intense glee! He could kill her then and there and they wouldn’t say a word, they might even help!

Jaune spoken and with it came a weight so heavy that it choked the words out of her.

“Listen here, I’m going to say this once and never again, after I finish telling you this, you will be like you never existed to me, is that clear?” Jaune said to her with a sinister, cold and happy smiles. It was like looking at an open grave with her name on it.

She nodded with all her force, and barely let out a ”Yes,” Feeling hyper-aware of Jaune and his body, easily seeing him choking her, hitting her and smashing her face in, taking a knife to her neck letting her bleed out, the phantom pain of a eye being gouged out, and near endless death Jaune could bring to her, all while listening to him.

“I was being humble earlier, but you don’t downplay my cooking, I”m the best chef without a degree in the kingdom, In a couple months I will be the best chef in the kingdom. I am the best cafe in this kingdom. I am no rapist, but even if I was why would waste my time going after, a fat, loose, stupid, boring, and painfully annoying creature as you, do you think my standard are low enough to be in the sewer, because that where I’d fine you, But, I could accept all of that abuse.” Jaune rapid-fired at her, “But,” His eyes looked at her like razors. “But, you tried to bring my family into this... And, NOBODY, AND, I MEAN NOBODY, BEING, OR, ENTITY! MESSES WITH MY FAMILY! IS THAT YELL YOU FUCKING MICROSCOPIC, WORTHLESS, VACUUM OF INTELLIGENCE, PARASITE!?” Jaune said to her calmly before yelling at her, his voice like a hurricane on steroids made of pure anger.

The woman shook before him, tearing falling freely, squeaking out in pure terror for her life. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” Jaune shook out another caverous roar. “BITCH! I did not ask for your worthless sorry ass to say SORRY! I ASKED IF YOU GOT IT?! WELL? DID YOU FUCKING GET IT?!”

“YES, SIR I GOT! I’M SO SORRY! PLEASE DON’T-“ The woman screamed in terror,

“THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU GOT YOUR FUCKING FREE MEAL, GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK, IF I SO MUCH AS SEE A HAIR OF YOU’RE FAT ASS, I”M GOING TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE A MISSING PERSON’S WARRANT ON YOUR FAT ASS, AND YOU KNOW FUCKING WHAT? NOBODYS GOING TO CARE, NOW LEAVE!” Jaune said punctuation the last word by pounding the table with hands while screaming into the face of the woman.

She ran, she ran like her life depended on it, a trail of piss following her,  ugly crying all the way home.

Jaune then turned to his customers. “I’m sorry, about that folks,” His voice once again melodic and beautiful. “But, I’m sure that will not happen for about a month or two.” “Don’t worry we didn’t see anything.” His regulars said, with smug grins and some outright laughing or recording to put on dustube.

“Well, since y’all didn’t see anything, I say free coffee and today pie on the house!”

“WHOO!!”

Jaune then cleaned the table, and grabbed several glasses to refill, before returning the kitchen.

Returning to the two customers from earlier.

“What was that?”

“Oh that, don’t worry about that, it comes and goes, but we regulars call it free coffee and desert day.” “That’s insane... Who wouldn’t pay for this food?”

“You got a good head on you, kid.”

Jaune was in the kitchen cooking with one hand, and typing into his scroll behind his back with the other.

‘Junior, I got a favor to call in.’

Buzz.

‘The Malachite's saw everything.’

Jaune smirked evilly.

‘Good, tell them I’ll have their favorites ready when they get here... And something for you too.’

With Junior.

Junior: Happy crime boss noises.

The Next day.

The short grey hair girl arrived just as Jaune was opening.

“I am so sorry! About that I’d like to apologize for the idiots behavior.” “Oh it’s fine, I get customers like that from time to time. Now though I must say you look better without out those grey eyes. Brown suits you better.” The short hair-girl blushed heavily, having stopped using the color contacts.

“Thanks you...” “Now would like some breakfast?”

“YES!”

Authors note:Whew, that was exhausting, but I think it turned out ok.

By the way I came up for some names for the customers.

The first regulars name is Bronson

The new guy is Becker

The fat girl is Licorish

The shorter girl is Gracie

If your curioius why Jaune’s not in school and running a his sisters cafe, or where his sister is, that will all be touch on in the story.

Now here’s Jaunes Stats

Jaune Arc

15 and 1/4

Male

Strength: 68 Speed: 72

- Toughness: 6 - Grace: 7

Wits: 53     Wisdom: 82

- Calculation: 5 - Mental Fortress: 8

Personality: 80 Perception: 75

- Attraction: 8  -Sensory : 7

- Anima:390 (This option is greyed out)

- Aura Level: 3900 (this option is greyed out)

Now these are still subject to change.

He’s maxed out: Cooking, Dancing, Intimation, CQC, MMA, Valerian Boxing, Valerian Fencing, Short blade, Cleaning, Stealth, Sprinting, Climbing, Voice Manipulation, Body Control, ????? That’s all I’m listing for now, but it will only grow.

Traits:???? Heheh, watch and wait.

That’s all for now fokes. Have a beautiful day.

[mryddinwilt]

A Bridgerton Rant

Not that I needed encouragement to rant but @constantvigilante here we go... 

First lets talk background as I think it matters for how I experienced Bridgerton. I read extensively in the Regency Romance genre. Like at least 20 books a year if not more. I have read and not particularly enjoyed 2 1/2 Bridgerton novels. I am a huge Jane Austen fan. I am writing my own Regency romance series and have done a lot of research into the time period. I also adore historic dramas of any time period. 

I should be the target audience for this series. 

Except I’m not. 

Bridgerton is not a show for Regency aficionados, Janeites, or costume drama fans. It is a show specifically designed NOT to be a “regular” period drama. A show that from it’s costumes, to it’s characters, and story telling, is actively trying to break the mold. 

But I LIKE the mold! 

I desperately want more shows and series like the 1995 P&P or North and South or even Downton Abbey (which for all its soapiness is still a show grounded in a historical period). Instead I get Bridgerton. 

Bridgerton with it’s hyper-saturated colors, it’s ridiculous dialogue, it’s vague historic period, and general fantasy feeling. Bridgerton, which feels so far from the Regency period that it might as well be a spin-off of Reign. The worst thing is that since Bridgerton is successful it will encourage copycats and diminish the chance of having good period dramas in the future. I just googled “Best Period Dramas��� and Bridgerton was top of the list. Ugh. 

To be fair this problem does not start with Bridgerton. It’s just part of a larger trend in the costume drama genre. I’m just grumpier about it because it’s Regency romance. This year gave us two Jane Austen adaptations in Sanditon and Emma. and both had elements of the issues that plague Bridgerton though neither at the same scale. 

So what did I not like? Buckle up buttercup here we go.

General Ahistorical-ness- The series tries to center itself in a specific time period, they even give us the year 1813, and then proceed to ignore the time period. No mentions of Napoleon, a guy that at the very least the Prince would care about since Bonaparte is killing all his countrymen while he dances with Daphne. We get Queen Charlotte but no Prince Regent (the guy the period is named for) or any of the other royals. No mention of the War of 1812 or the Peninsular War. No mention of anything that would ground it in a place or time. Compare this to something like Poldark or Outlander where the characters are actively engaged in the world they live in. Bridgerton doesn’t exist in the Regency world, it just put on the trappings of it.

Ungrounded/Fantasy (except when it’s not)- I do think that the ungrounded nature of the story is on purpose.  We are meant to be swept away into this fantasy land of pretty dresses, hot dukes, pop-music ballrooms, and consequence free sex (for the guys at least) Even the weather gives us a vague “summer” feeling (never mind that the London season took place in the Winter and into Spring and that by summer everyone was out of the capital because it was hot and stinky). I have argued before that the literary Regency romance genere is way more fantasy than reality and this aspect is in the books. So I guess I shouldn’t knock it for this. EXCEPT they had to go and add the pregnant debutante subplot.

The books don’t have a subplot about a girl needing to marry fast because she is pregnant because lbh it’s too real for a light romance read with a fake dating plot. By adding it the show just highlights the bizarre fantasy of the Bridgerton world. Maria (is that her name?) is literally shown the “poor people” to encourage her to get married fast. If we are going to be in fantasy lets live in the fantasy. Like the cartoonish element and the half-hearted commitment to a time period it creates a dissonance for me.

Costumes- A ton of work and effort was put into the costumes and they are in many way beautiful. But they are also just pure aesthetic. Bright colors (very bright), overblown trim, not a bonnet in sight (I cannot say how much this annoys me). This was not a case of not knowing the period but a stylistic choice. They kept a Regency silhouette but actively used colors, fabrics, and the like that had not even been invented by 1813. Contrast this with Emma. where they gave us a very bright aesthetic while also being highly accurate to the time period (like ridiculously accurate costumes). 

Dances and music- Literally it’s Reign all over again. From the type of random couple dancing to the use of pop music covers by a string quartet. Bonus we get an outdoor ball at Vauxhall... guess the actual building with the ballroom was full.. smh. The choices are deliberate. They don’t want it to feel like a Regency ball room. Too which I ask “Then what is the point of the historical setting?” 

Proprieties- They ignore all the rules of the time. Except when they need them to move the plot forward. For example Simon and Daph have to marry because the scandal of them being caught in the garden. But they were alone in several other scenes in circumstances that, at the time, would have caused the same scandal. There are lots of other instances but I imagine they are the kinds of little things that only someone obsessed with the genre notices. Also no bonnets or hats of any kind...shocking!  Cartoonish- I found the whole thing to be a caricature of the time. The costumes, over saturated colors, and bad CGI of buildings contributed to this. But there were also scenes like “ the gentleman callers” that showed massive rooms just filled with guys holding presents as a means to telegraph “this girl is popular”. Because subtlety is dead in this version of a “period drama”. This could have worked if they were going for an over the top “Importance of Being Earnest” (with Firth and Everett) vibe. But the acting and script were played straight so it was dissonant. I felt like they wanted me to really believe that this was how things worked back then.   All Regency girls are prudes- I know this is an artifact from the original novels but I feel the show plays it up by having Eloise be like “but how is a baby made” and making it a plot point that girls are left in the dark. Eloise’s mother had her babies at home and she would likely have seen farm animals. Plus girls then would be told exactly how and why to guard their virtue and would have experienced other women being pregnant. 

Look I get that most people think that sex education was minimal back then but the truth is that they had erotic novels, drawings, sex manuals, and the upper class were more sexually liberated than is generally thought. Anthony sleeping with an opera singer is accurate. But it would be equally accurate for Lady Bridgerton to have a guy she met up with on the regular just for sex. The upper class weren’t prudes. Like there was a trend for awhile where the women would wear white gowns and get them damp so they were practically translucent. They did this at dinner parties. The Georgians (the Regency occurs at the end of the Georgian period) were not the Victorians. 

Okay that’s probably enough. I only got halfway through episode 4 so there are likely other things I could quibble with (and I am well aware that some of this is quibbling). I am glad that other people like the show. I’m happy they are happy. But I really hope that the next Regency related media I see is not more of the same. So help me if the new Persuasion starts being marketed as “edgy” or a “reimagining” I just might cry. 

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hello! Love your blog. I was wondering if I could get some typing help? I have a general idea of what I am, but that’s not saying much since I have a tendency to hop between a few of them (INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ specifically). Either way, hopefully you can help me settle it.

I’m 22 and about to graduate from college. It’s been a journey, because I’ve transferred twice and changed plans a few times, but that’s the proper college experience, I think. One transfer closer to home can be owed to depression and Covid, while the first was simply me not meshing with the campus. I’m not too worried about how it’ll affect my grad school apps due to good grades and valid reasons.

Despite the schooling-related indecision, I tend to get an idea of what I want, then fixate on it heavily. Example: I recently tried to publish a novel I’ve been working on for years now. Realistically, I know the odds of getting your first work published and making enough money to start a career on it are beyond low, but a big part of me thought “yeah, except I worked on this draft consistently all these months and this feels right, so it has to pay off” – of course, it didn’t. That’s not to say it wasn’t worth it, but I’ve come to accept it won’t be that easy, so I’m going to focus on a job with more security first lol. That means proceeding with law school. Some friends might think I’m selling my soul by putting my dreams on the back burner. I disagree, though, because if writing is meant to be I can still make it happen this way but with more security. Plus, I’m used to having some higher objective to motivate me through each day, and I don’t like feeling aimless. To me, that would be settling for less: wasting time working next to minimum wage at some place I can’t see myself staying.

I’d like to think of myself as spontaneous despite knowing I’m really not. When I’m with friends, maybe, but I’m more than happy to do nothing on Friday nights, knowing I’ll be able to wake up early tomorrow and do whatever I’m doing at a decent time. That being said, I would be happy to hop on a flight across the world if someone offered to pay the way. I love travel, so I’d hope to find a career that makes that possible. The same goes for whatever work I’m doing. Ideally, I could move from place to place as I do my job, because I fear being rooted will keep me from seeing everything I’d like to see.

I’m definitely an introvert dichotomy wise, but if group work appears, I’m happy to make a plan and remind everyone when a due date is near, and I expect them to follow through or provide some forewarning. I’m not outright nasty when someone inevitably slips up, but I’m not going to give them an excuse either. Can’t relate since I’ve never had a problem with procrastination. Like, I’d say I’m procrastinating, but to me procrastinating is choosing not to get ahead on the project due next week while I have spare time now. That makes me sound like a robot or a liar, but I’m mostly just very aware of my limitations and have learned how to manage work in a way that keeps me from having to stress.

I have no idea how to end this. Quick notes? I’m ambitious but not competitive – literally cannot relate to envy, because I don’t think someone having something means you can’t have it too – you just have to work on/for it. I’m not very curious lmao. Like, I’m as curious as the average person, but I don’t care about how things work (Ti slacking?). Uhh, fandoms annoy me. Like, seeing fans distort characters and needlessly project onto them in cringe ways makes my brain itchy. I’ve been called insensitive. I can easily cut someone off after finding, for a fact, that they’re being manipulative. Whatever baggage they have, I don’t care. I don’t see the point in fighting for a relationship when a “friend” is working against you. I’m also the “advice friend” because I don’t have drama and seem to know how to diffuse it easily or cut it out completely. Now that I think about it, all of my closest friends have a lot of anxiety, so maybe I collect them and care for them a little since I have none.

Hopefully that wasn’t too much useless info. I think I’m mainly struggling on differentiating between lower Ne vs Lower Se. My indecision comes in rare bouts, so maybe that’s the weak Ne manifesting. Or maybe I’m lower Se for forgetting the larger scheme by focusing on material things like getting to travel and making a high salary? Whatever. These are things most people prioritize, though. Let me know if you need any specifics. Also, thank you for taking the time to read this! I really appreciate how informative your blog is and all the resources you share.

Hi anon,

To be honest I am really not sure based on this, and it might be good for you to revisit this after a little bit of time out of school. I would rule out the Ti-Fe axis, but I can actually see arguments for either high Te or high Fi My guess is high Ni if you have high Te you don't really sound like a high Si user - and part of what is tripping me up the most is that you said a lot of things that make me thing of high Fi and the spontaneity of Se or Ne, but there's a lot here that really sounds intuitive but distinctly not like an Ne user. So I actually think there are arguments for either INTJ or ISFP, and I actually lean a little more towards "ISFP with good discipline/time management" than INTJ.

Here's my thought process, which hopefully can get you started.

I do feel like transferring twice is a little abnormal (not bad, just more than the typical college experience of maybe one transfer and changing one's major once or twice) but COVID did fuck with things more than usual so no conclusions there.

The fixation on writing a novel and the long-shot of gaining enough success to focus on that full time - particularly right out of school or even before graduation - is either intuitive or possibly high Fi. I really do not think an ESTJ would have that idea - not that they wouldn't be a writer, but I don't think they would have had the same expectations surrounding payoff and would have assumed from the start that this will not be their career initially. For that matter I have my doubts on ENTJ, but it could be possible for INTJ.

The part about spontaneity actually fits really well with auxiliary Se or Ne, in that those types at your age will have moderation from Ni or Si respectively and will often want a combination of stability but also the ability to travel a lot and move around. The example you gave actually still seemed very spontaneous; a lot of ExTJs for example might really dislike doing nothing on a Friday night and would instead have something planned. What you describe sounds very go-with-the-flow, just in a low-key way.

The part about procrastination indicates that Ne is probably off the table but Se is possible; some SPs are pretty good at being realistic about getting things done and it sounds like you don't have the high Te motivation of "I must get this done early" (not that high Te users can't procrastinate or do things on time but not down-to-the-wire).

I often tie ambition/competitive nature to enneagram more than MBTI, but I will say a lot of Te users and especially Te-doms tend to be both. They don't have to be (and if they're only one, usually it's ambition over competition), but it's pretty common. Curiosity is complicated but not caring about how literally everything works does seem like it would rule out Ti and I'd fully agree there. The part about being frustrated by fandom distortion of characters is relatable to me and I feel that comes from a place of sensing, ie, were you not paying attention to canon, so that seems like a point towards high Se for you. The parts about advice and interpersonal relationships mostly just reinforce that you sound more like someone on the Fi-Te axis, which you already suspected, but again...being the advice friend, particularly from a caring position, seems more high Fi to me than INTJ; a lot of IxTJs (and definitely ExTJs) at your age are just not emotionally ready for that level of patience with anxiety. I know I wasn't.

I would also say focusing on the material things (travel, a liveable salary) is more in line with higher Se! Te users do have a measure of pragmatism, so again, can't rule out INTJ, but the travel especially is what's making me think Se is pretty high in your stack.

All in all? My guess is an ISFP with good time management skills, possibly with an enneagram 6 adding to the stability/pragmatism. That said I wouldn't totally rule out INTJ (possibly also enneagram 6?); I just think it's less likely.

[annebrontesrequiem]

Femininity and Bridgerton

So 27 days ago a lovely anon said that they’d be glad to hear my thoughts on femininity and Bridgerton, and since I’m now finally free from school I decided to stop playing Genshin Impact and binging Disney movies and actually do something.

This is going to probably be very long (spoilers it’s 1,800 words long), so more under the cut.

So, a few things. Firstly I am specifically talking about Bridgerton, as the way that femininity is portrayed in media is a very complex and arduous topic. Secondly this is obviously just my opinion and you can absolutely disagree, even tell me if you do I love listening to different perspectives. Thirdly I’m talking about a show that is very heteronormative (the painter and Benedict aside as I’m focusing mostly on Daphne in this post), and presents a very specific part of straight, cis, upper class femininity. So keep that in mind as well. Also as I’m going to be talking about patriarchy, femininity, and masculinity I know that there might be a few TERFs that crawl out of the woodwork and just… don’t. This isn’t for you and while I’m at it please go read some actual feminist texts. Also I know that this is a period piece but I will be addressing that don’t worry.

Also I am going to be talking about that one scene so trigger warning I’m going to be talking about sexual assault.

Also full Bridgerton season one spoilers.

----

So, all that set up out of the way, let’s talk about femininity in the Bridgerton series.

A good deal of Bridgerton focuses on the ways in which women are often confined by their role as women in society, as well as how they subvert that role for their own gains. This is used well in some cases, such as when the Viscountess uses the network that is forged between servants and women of the upper class to subvert Daphne’s marriage to Nigel Berbrooke. Being a period piece with a (mostly) diverse cast it also allows for women of color, specifically black women, to be portrayed in a very feminine light, where in society at large they are usually not allowed to inhabit such a space. However in attempting to subvert the status that women often occupied in Regency England the show accidentally reinforces views of femininity and its value.

Let’s talk about Eloise and Daphne. Eloise is very outspoken about the difficulties that comes with being a woman in society, wishing to break out of the confines of femininity. Daphne, on the other hand, wishes to stay within the traditional woman’s sphere, get married, have children, run a household. And while in text these two women often debate the meaning of their position as women, each making very valid points about their status and how they’re confined by it, the framing makes it seem that Eloise’s position is ultimately the “better” one.

Full disclosure, Eloise is my favorite Bridgerton character. I love her outspokenness, her determination to make something out of her life, the fact that she attempts to make the oppression of the society around her explicit. However I think the way she is framed as this, for lack of a better term, “girlboss” in the making is often reductive. The show seems to have this idea that Daphne is in some ways inferior in goal to Eloise. That is, Eloise’s value isn’t that she is an ambitious person whose status as a woman hampers said ambition, but rather that she is in some ways morally and intellectually superior to Daphne by rejecting her femininity and repressing qualities that are considered less masculine and thus lesser.s It presents this idea of women’s empowerment wherein one is only empowered if they deliberately step out of traditional femininity, either in appearance or in life path, rather than confronting a society that sees femininity as inferior. Daphne’s wish to continue in the traditional sphere of womanhood is somehow lesser, and she only becomes truly empowered later in the series when she becomes more aggressive (we’ll talk about that later).

That Eloise has her own book where she presumably falls in love and gets married makes this all the more confusing. Does she then lose her intellect and her status as an empowering woman? The messages feel very mixed. In portraying Eloise as enlightened for actively resisting the woman’s sphere and Daphne as needing to learn to be more “assertive” to gain said enlightenment, the show accidentally presents femininity as inherently passive, inferior to the assertion that is more traditionally masculine. This is something that modern period dramas often fall into. Empowered women are only empowered by attempting to transcend their femininity, to become more masculine. The bottom line isn’t to present women and femininity as equal in all ways to men and masculinity, but femininity is something reductive that must be shed to truly become equal.

Since we’re talking about Daphne I want to examine her character arc within this lens as well. Daphne is adamant that she wants a love-match. She is also very aware of the importance of presentation, as well as the importance of reputation. This is a very solid foundation, as is a way where Bridgerton taps into the complexity of the role of women in regency society in a good way. However as the show goes on this complexity seems to fade in favor of making Daphne, again I’m sorry, a “girlboss”. This is made explicit in the scene in which Daphne violates Simon’s consent, as well as the way in which this act is framed.

Now you can tell immediately from the framing of the scene in which Daphne violates Simon’s consent what this is supposed to be interpretated as. From the music to the triumphant looks on Daphne’s face, this is supposed to be a moment in which Daphne has finally gained control of her life. And yet in doing this, and in presenting this whole scene as a result of Simon’s “betrayal” – and thus something his has to take the blame for – the show is making a value judgement. Daphne can only become strong by becoming “assertive” (ie aggressive) to the point of violating someone’s consent.

The topic of rape culture is a very long and arduous one which I will not be diving into, but I do wish to point to the fact that men are supposed to be aggressive, both sexually and otherwise. Men are the ones who always “want it”, who are uncontrollable, and who are willing to be aggressive to get what they want. This toxic idea of sex and masculinity is what I felt Daphne dipped into during this scene, and instead of presenting it as horrifying or a betrayal on Daphne part, it is presented as the climax of her character arc. I believe a showrunner once said that it was imperative to the “education” of Daphne Bridgerton. Thus is Daphne’s strength no longer her determination to be happy within the sphere she has been placed in by patriarchy, but her willingness to take back her life, no matter the cost. And yes this could’ve been a message about how men are also assaulted, but that is not at all what the showrunners wanted you to get out of this scene.

Lastly I want to touch on the men in the Bridgerton universe, because the devaluation of femininity also affects men no less than it does women. All the men in the Bridgerton universe are either bad people or rakes. Name me one (1) man in the Bridgerton universe who is presented as feminine, either in appearance or personality. And no femininity is not the same as being gay, the painter is not feminine. To be a man worthy of screen time or romance in the Bridgerton universe one must be as traditionally masculine as possible, and ready to make that your defining character trait.

Now I know that this is a large romance novel issue, as someone who has read three of the Outlander books I am unfortunately aware of how romance novels fall into this derivative state. But just because something is common that doesn’t mean it is any less worthy of criticism. The argument that it’s simply being “period accurate” is also something I don’t accept. Yes the regency era was incredibly patriarchal, but that does not mean that the women within it were helpless and could only break out of that helplessness by rejecting their own femininity. Jane Austen is a classic example, but I will also point to women such as Elizabeth Gaskell, the Bronte Sisters, and George Eliot in terms of English women who were highly intelligent and worthy of acclaim despite still associating themselves with their status as women in society. For a broader historical view I’d also like to present Catherine the Great and Empress Josephine who, despite being viewed in an often very derivative manner by the men around them, rose to great prominence and power.

In the end this is a larger societal issue and not one that my post will magically fix. But I will say this: we need to stop telling women and girls that the only way to get rid of patriarchy is to reject femininity. In doing so we say that masculinity is indeed the better trait, that by repressing one’s emotions and one’s femininity one can attain equality. We also need to stop telling men that the only way to ensure their own value to be aggressive, to tap into that toxic masculinity which we spoon feed them from birth. This hurts everyone, men, women, non-binary people. It makes the world a worse place and only when we stop trying to wiggle our way out of femininity and actually acknowledge its status as equal to masculinity will we achieve this.

I believe Bridgerton wanted to do that, wanted to present the complexities and anxieties of women living in a patriarchal world and the way in which they can subvert that world to their advantage. However it falls into the same trap it seems to be attempting to get out of, and at the end of the day one is left with a sense of vapidness. Though I may like Bridgerton (so much so that I binge watched the series twice and am even considering reading the books) I think that we need to acknowledge its flaws, because only then will we be able to move forward and make media that is more enjoyable, more nuanced, and ultimately better in terms of expectations and norms.

Like I said this is a very complicated topic, but I hope I got my point across well. Thank you if you read all the way through this and I hope you have a lovely day!

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

REVIEW: EMMA (2020)

Anytime a new adaptation comes out I’m always very hesitate to watch it. Will it live up to its previous incarnation? Why are they making another when there’s already so many? And if it’s based on a book+has had many films already=I can be a very harsh critic. However, with the more reviews I read about Autumn de Wilde’s new take on Jane Austen’s novel, the more pumped I got. (I was upset I had to wait till March as it was in select theaters this February.) I am very happy I got to see it because I enjoyed it a lot. So whether you are a Jane Austen/Emma fan, have seen Clueless once or twice and are curious about the source material or want to escape from all the Corona virus news for a bit, I would highly suggest venturing to your local movie theater to see it. More than likely you will have the theater basically to yourself, like I did. 

Spoilers for the source material are bound to come, so if you are still reading the novel or want to be a bit surprised I would suggest skimming this section. 

Bill Nighy portrayed a fantastic Mr. Woodhouse.

The way this film was marketed it continually brought up how Emma is Jane Austen’s comedy. Now, all of Austen’s work is comedic, but Emma could have some things we will find especially funny as it could be the farthest from our lives (just like it was back then for Austen’s readers). In this adaptation I really could feel the humor attribute making this a true comedy in my eyes. Most of that is thanks to Bill Nighy’s performance. 

Mr. Woodhouse’s hypochondria is his biggest character trait and is always a laugh as he is often given some of the most ridiculous statements. (ie: Cake not being good for children.) Nighy strongly delivered on this and also brought a new characteristic to him (and I’m not just talking about the amazing patterns he wore). He did a great job with physical humor. I loved his interactions with the servants. Which, speaking of...I really liked how much involvement the servants had. This version, specifically, had the most servants shown (compared to previous Emmas) and while they never spoke (as would be expected during this time period) there was SO much humor present. From finding the draft for Mr. Woodhouse out the window (”Miss Taylor would have felt it”), moving all the screens (still a great way for Mr. Woodhouse to show he knew something was going on between Emma and Mr. Knightley) or quickly turning their backs. They also helped to show how rich these characters really are. As social class is a huge part of this story. 

Anya Taylor Joy is poised and highlights Emma’s social class.

With Joy’s portrayal of our lead heroine, I felt like we got an Emma that was very accurate to the novel, but one we do not often see. Here, you got a true sense of Emma’s wealth (as her maids are seen dressing her or fitting her for a new outfit, as well as the ornaments in her hair) as well as her selfishness. By this I mean we got a look into Emma’s world and how she wants to see what she desires. This was seen very early with Emma’s reaction to Miss. Bates in church and then also when they meet Miss. Bates in the shop and hear of Jane’s letter. Other adaptations seem to give her the air of compassion (even if it is just in her face and then she talks badly later). As a very big fan of BBC’s 2009 Emma and of Romola Garai’s Emma it was hard for me to not compare the two versions. Of course, starting with Emma in this role allows for a larger character development, but I still would have liked to see a little more interest in others. 

I loved how many lines were super accurate to the novel. I could often recite what was coming up next. (Yes, I know I’m a big nerd.) 

Johnny Flynn quickly becomes one of my favorite Knightleys.

Again, another hard thing about so many adaptations, seeing so many versions of these literary characters. As I mentioned with the section on Emma’s character specifically, I am a big fan of the BBC’s 2009 mini-series, so whenever I think of Mr. Knightley my mind goes to Jonny Lee Miller (or Brent Bailey from Emma Approved). 

*swooning*

But where was I... oh yes! After watching the trailer I wasn’t sure about this Mr. Knightley (I wasn’t super familiar with Flynn), but he quickly grew on me early on in the film. I really like the early allusions of him and Emma liking one another. His “rivalry” with Frank Churchill made me chuckle every time. I thought it was strange they never brought up how he knows Emma or why he’s over all of the time. Especially when her sister came with all of her kids. Her husband is Knightley’s younger brother, but it’s never mentioned. That could help with not focusing on Emma and Knightley’s large age difference. I like how here we didn’t hear any of those creepy statements like how he remembers holding her when she was a baby. I LOVED their dance (as I expected I would. It’s a HUGE moment) and their reaction afterward was precious: watching them both come to terms with what just happened and how they were feeling. I honestly thought they would admit their feelings right then. It was a PERFECT addition. When Emma asks Frank to stay, and Knightley is obviously upset, but she’s clearly asking for Harriet. Oh the drama! It was great. I was worried the strawberry picking at Donwell wouldn’t have happened, but it followed this scene, which was great because now Emma was aware of her growing feelings and then Harriet is swooning over Knightley who is ignoring Emma. It feels like something straight out of high school (no wonder why Clueless works so well).  

While I loved the addition of this scene, I did feel like the end was a bit rushed, especially once we get to Box Hill. For me Frank and Jane’s reveal always feels weird, but that felt even more forced (although you do get more glances from them in the film) and I understand we don’t have a full 4 hours to show everything, but it just felt like a lot all at once. Despite all of this the proposal was still great and very accurate to the novel. I just don’t understand the nose bleed.

Justice for Harriet with Mia Goth

Emma and Harriet Smith’s relationship is one that I always find problematic. If Emma didn’t feel lonely after losing Miss Taylor/Mrs. Weston she more than likely would not have met Harriet Smith and taken her “under her wing.” Harriet’s life gets turned upside down. She goes from getting proposed to by the farmer, Robert Martin, to turning him down, thinking she’s in love with Mr. Elton, getting her heart broken, falling in love again, but then being wrong about that one too. Then in the end she winds up with Robert Martin, who she would have been happy with in the first place. Mr. Knightley says it well, when he mentions how the more time Emma spends with her, the more she will be out of her world and not apart of Emma’s. Often, I don’t feel justice for Harriet at the end of the film because of the way they treat her character. She is a main focal point at the start of the novel, but then other matters seem to become more serious. In this film, I think I have finally seen one of the best ways her character is handled, specifically at the end of the story. When Emma abruptly stops Knightley during his proposal, it is because (at first) she thinks he will tell her that he loves Harriet (as she just professed to Emma), but in this film we see Emma have this realization as she is about to say her true feelings to Knightley in response to his proposal. Something clicks in her that it is not right. Now my first thought was because of her father. Mainly because of how against change he is. But it is actually for Harriet, which I thought was really refreshing. And then the next scene is us seeing Emma telling Harriet what happened. But it doesn’t stop there. We get to see Harriet finish her story and even share a loving moment with Robert Martin before Emma and Knightley truly unite. It was a very nice touch to this film. 

Go see Emma. You’ll love it as much as I did and then want to watch a bunch of different adaptations afterwards because you can never get enough! 

[captain-yeet]

Unlikely Ally (Volturi x Child of the Moon!Reader)

Summary: Vampires are facing a new threat - ghoulish supernatural beings have just started to appear in the world and vampires are being killed in cold blood. History books say that only a werewolf can truly put them to rest but the Volturi slaughtered them all. Or so they thought.

Warnings: violence, mild swearing.

Word count: 2.5k words

This was a request I got and I wanted to put my own spin on it to make it more my own thing. Hope y'all enjoy this little thriller-drama-thingy

In all his immortal years, Aro had never seen these strange, ghastly creatures before. It was like they just raised from nowhere but after fetching some lower-level guards and placing them under the command of Alec, some fruitful information was harvested.

The creatures had been spotted throughout history a small handful of times - most books called them ghouls, demonic creatures that feasted on flesh, both dead and alive. The idea of a vampire being destroyed in such a way would have made Aro and his coven laugh if they hadn't witnessed one of their own be eaten by these creatures. Sent out on a mission and with no word of their return, Demetri and Felix had been sent out to discover their coven mate Afton being slowly eaten alive by a ghoul. They managed to scare it off but it was far too late.

Hunched over a stockpile of papers and books, Aro held up an open book in his hand to his fellow Volturi leaders. "I found something."

Caius flitted to his side at once, scowling at the book in Aro's hand. "Anything of use?"

A humourless chuckle left Aro's lips. "There is a way to kill these foul beasts... you won't like it."

"Brother we have no time for personal grievances," Caius sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Say it."

"Children of the Moon," he replied almost airily, looking from Caius to Marcus who was sat in a chair with a pile of books at his feet. "Turns out your old enemies were the most effective weaponry against these creatures."

Caius balked. "You have... this is a mistake."

"It's written in a bloody history book Caius," Marcus groaned. "I had a feeling your execution order would come back one day to spite us."

"It isn't specifically the claws or fangs that are effective but rather the saliva and bacteria," Aro continued, ignoring the bickering. "It has certain properties that act as a poison to them. The only thing is, we eradicated their kind."

Sitting down in a nearby chair, Caius looked as if he wanted to throw up. "So we're doomed."

At that moment, a knock sounded on the masters' study door. Calling out, the receptionist entered, heels clacking against the stone floor which only added to Caius's growing nerves. "Masters, you have a visitor requesting an urgent meeting with you."

"Thank you, dear Gianna, who might it be?"

"Alice Cullen, master. She says she has news on 'someone who can help', whatever that means."

Aro raised from his desk abruptly, startling the poor receptionist. "Then let's not keep her waiting. Brothers, come. Gianna, send word to all the higher guard to be present in the meeting hall immediately."

Alice Cullen sure knew when to appear at the most opportune times. She had come to inform them of two visions she had - the first had vampire and human bodies splayed bloody and cracked about the streets of Volterra, the ghoulish creatures moving in on Marcus and Demetri, the only survivors about to face their doom. Aro pressed her if she could see more beyond that first initial vision, and sure enough, she did.

Alice may have her rightful reservations about the Volturi, but this problem was bigger than all of them. Keeping her hand in Aro's as he watched her visions play in his own mind's eye, he watched the second vision replay.

A human's face appeared, the vision pulling back to see them now standing with Marcus and Demetri. Their eyes then shifted to a sickly yellow-ish colour, along with their facial features, becoming more animalistic, a nose and mouth became a snarling snout like that of a wolf.

There was a werewolf, still living and breathing right now in this world. And the Volturi needed them.

They needed you.

No time was wasted in the search to find you. Sitting cross-legged in a chair in your small cozy little home out in the woodland outskirts of town, your mind drifted off when you heard the approach of a car in your driveway, causing you to frown. Standing up and striding over to the window you peeked at who your surprise guests could be.

Exiting a black SUV were three people; a young man who looked as if he were just a teenager and two older men, both tall but one was lean whereas the other was more built. Their pale skin caught your eye as it glinted faintly in the sunlight.

Vampires. Absolutely fantastic.

You'd met a few vampires over the years - luckily not too many of those encounters ended in a fight but of course, there were a few that wanted to screw with "the strange smelly human.” It never ended well when things went south, and you’d acquired a few scars from venom poisoning. Most of your scars covered your arms, creating their own faintly glimmering sleeve of patterns from bites crisscrossing and overlapping each other. Some were on your shoulders and you had a real nasty scar on your neck. All of them burned when you first got them; werewolf blood didn’t mix well with vampire venom, it wasn’t enough to kill you but it did hurt like a bitch.

Sighing, you gathered up your mettle and opened the door to your home, leaning against the doorframe, watching them approach with careful eyes.

As they approached, you couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the apparent look of disgust on their face as they breathed in the scent of you. You’d asked a friendly vampire once what you smelt like and they had grinned and said, “Like a wet, stinky dog.”

 “I’m sorry, should I have put on some deodorant before you came?” you called out to them, grinning as their noses wrinkled in disgust.

 “That might have been polite,” the leaner vampire replied smoothly through his teeth. 

Crossing your arms, you pushed your self off the doorframe and walked towards the vampires until you were directly in front of them. The boy balked, overwhelmed with your scent. “What’s the matter, kiddo? Not a fan of dogs?”

He simply glared at you bitterly, lips pressed in a thin line.

Taking the lead, you addressed his companions. “Who are you and why are you here?”

 “You’ve managed to keep yourself hidden from the Volturi well enough,” the larger one commented, ignoring your question. “How do you do it despite apparently not keeping your mouth shut about it?”

 “Not many of your kind who question what I am are capable of speaking after they find out,” you stated flatly, eyes narrowing.

His jaw clenched and he turned his head away from you, exhaling through his nose.

 “We aren’t here to hurt you, or cause trouble,” the leaner one cut in, the voice of diplomacy. “Hear us out.”

You considered your options. If they wanted a fight you were greatly outnumbered, more so by skill than the number of vampires. The larger vampire not only had his eight and muscle mass on his side but he had a vibe about him; like if you picked a fight, he’d know exactly what he was doing. Both he and the lean vampire looked like they’d be skilled in a fight. The boy, you weren’t sure of. If anything, you’d wager that the older ones did the fighting for him.

 “Fine,” you conceded, waving a hand towards your home. “Come inside and we’ll talk. No funny business and you walk in front of me.”

All three of them nodded curtly and led the way into your home.

You learned their names; Demetri, Alec, and Felix. It was Demetri who explained the situation - their leaders had thought your kind extinct, but now they needed a werewolf to counter these new ghouls who had popped up in the world.

 “I’m just one wolf, you realize that right?” you pointed out, a hand pressed against your forehead. “Even if I’m effective against these creatures there’s not enough manpower to take them all down. What are you going to do, jet-set me across the word and airdrop me into every nook and cranny where these things live?”

Felix sighed. “Luckily they’ve only been appearing in Italy, so far. But, we have taken that into consideration. You’re truly the only one? No family members are Children of the Moon?”

“Children of the Moon,” you chuckled darkly, “god that’s such an old term. I prefer werewolf or lycan personally - less of a mouthful.” Looking up from your hunched position on the couch, you locked eyes with the large vampire. “No, it skipped a few generations in my family. The last wolf was my great-grandmother.”

 “But will you help?” Alec pressed the issue. He was in the corner of the room, pinching the bridge of his nose like he had a bad migraine. “We have little choice but to come to one of you for help. And you’re the only one that can permanently kill one of these things.”

 “I’m aware. You’ve told me so.”

 “Do you not care?” he snapped, ignoring Demetri’s warning hiss from the couch. “We’re at our wits end here. Either you help us, or-”

In a flash, your emotions got the better of you and you were no longer sitting but standing upright, baring your teeth. Your eyes turned to the signature eery yellow of a werewolf. “Or what, dickhead? You’ll kill me, I guess is the answer?”

Demetri came in between the hostile space, hands raised like he was approaching a wild animal. “Let’s keep our cool, everyone.”

 “You won’t kill me,” you said cooly, eyes still glowing menacingly. “You need me. If you kill me, then traveling all the way here was pointless. This conversation is pointless and you know it.”

Alec huffed and looked away. Huh, argument won.

Demetri lowered his hands. “So, will you come?”

You looked at him, then Felix and Alec, then back to Demetri. “On one condition; after this is all done and we live, leave me alone.”

Felix let out a short laugh. “I think those terms are fair, don’t you?” he looked to Demetri with an amused smirk.

The more diplomatic vampire nodded and held out his hand to you.

A peace offering. But more than that, a gesture to seal the deal.

You shook his hand, keeping eye contact, the glow fading from your eyes as he gazed back calmly with his red ones. “Let’s not waste any time. You might wanna travel with the windows down.”

Within 24 hours of entering Volterra and meeting the elders of the vampire coven, screams filled the city as the ghoul slunk their way into the premises. Alice Cullen’s vision was mirrored perfectly; human bodies were splayed in grotesque manners across the town. It appeared that the masquerade of living under the radar of human was long broken. Now was the time to fight.

 “Ready?” Felix asked you, a keen look in his eyes. He nodded to Demetri and Marcus, who had joined his side. Each of the leaders was paired off with high-level guards for protection.

 “Born ready,” you replied breathlessly, deeply inhaling, the smell of blood and decay heavy in the air around you. Shrugging out of your jacket, you gave a sheepish smile to your vampire brothers-in-arms. “Ever seen a werewolf shift?” When they shook their heads warily, you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly. “Well, you’re about to.”

Letting the beast take over was second nature to you. When you first shifted it always hurt Limbs cracking and growing longer, you hunched over to the ground as you shifted into a more beastly form. Felix and Demetri, along with Marcus and a few low ranked guards watched in fascination and horror as fur sprouted across your body and your face took on more wolfish features.

Stretching taller than even Felix at 6′7 as you stood on your hind legs, you let out a haunting roar and sprung into action.

“Well shit, would you look at that?” Felix whispered, a shocked expression on his face. Not often did he come across someone - or something - taller than himself.

 “Feeling a little threatened, my friend?” Demetri teased, earning a growl from Felix.

It was a long, weary battle. Many lower guards fell to the ghouls and even Felix was nearly taken out by a few who had dog-piled on top of him, pinning him to the ground. As soon as you saw your hulking companion fall you ran on all fours and leaped at the ghouls, ripping them off Felix in one fell swoop with a giant clawed hand.

 “Find Demetri and Marcus!” he barked at you, holding his side. A sickly ooze was dripping through his clothes.

 “You’re hurt!” You grabbed him and assessed the damage. The cut left a disgusting mess but it wasn’t deep enough to penetrate his granite skin; he’ll live.

He placed a hand on your shoulder and firmly pushed you back. “I’ll be fine, but you must go! Find them, I have no clue who’s survived and who’s dead.”

 “Okay,” you replied, “but not alone. We can’t afford to split up now.”

He mulled over your suggestion for a second. “Very well. Then let’s go!”

It was as Alice Cullen saw in her vision. Demetri crouched defensively in front of Marcus, surrounded by ghouls. Demetri’s hand was hanging on by a thread. Just when one leaped in for the kill, a wolf and a vampire intervened, your jaws securing the killing blow. Felix used his enhanced strength to throw the other ghouls aside as you tore into each of them, one by one but quickly and effectively.

The vision and the books were correct after all; they did need you and if you hadn’t agreed, it would have been a bloodbath. Many had fallen to the ghouls but by what seemed like dumb luck many of the core members of the Volturi lived. The cleanup was a hell of a job and the Volturi had to do it quickly before authorities came. In the meantime, you were escorted to the outskirts of Volterra by Demetri, Felix, and Marcus.

 “I have to admit, I’m very, very grateful that you agreed to come,” Demetri chuckled, letting free the tension from the battle. He held a firm grip on his wrist as he walked leisurely with you.

 “As we all are,” Marcus echoed Demetri’s statement. It was the first time the elder vampire had spoken to you directly. “You have my thanks.”

 You nodded to the older vampire. “I’m glad I could help. Hopefully, that’s the last of them.”

 “You fought well,” Felix complimented. “It’s not every day I get a chance to fight alongside a werewolf.”

You chuckled, grinning at the large vampire. “Same to you, you fought well.”

 “Years of experience,” he added with a wink.

As promised, they let you go peacefully. If the trouble with ghouls ever arose again you promised to return and help them once more but for the meantime, it was back home to your cozy little house in the woods. Life as a werewolf was a solitary one, now, however, you left Italy with the knowledge that the supernatural world was a little bit safer and you a couple of unlikely friends in a dire situation.

I’m glad I came and helped, you thought to yourself, content with the end resolution to this trouble. But now, I really need a nap. And a hot shower.