#i am such a loser for them but idfc

[newtmastime]

SEOOCHEOL AND DAHYE THIS EP SOOCHEOL AND DAHYE THIS EP SOOCHEOL AND DAHYE THIS EP SOOCHEOL AND DAHYE

SOOCHEOL AND DAHYE

SOOCHEOL. AND. DAHYE.

HE RODE A BIKE AND SMASHED IT ON THE CAR

SHE SAID SHE LVOES HIM

HE SAID ME TOO

THEY LVOE EACH OTHER

AAAHHHHHH

[vizthedatum]

I’m eating donuts today and IDFC

(I’m also gonna eat a salad and all my supplements)

but fuck this, I’m in pain and I know it might make things worse but whatever. Literally whatever. The world is on fire and there is nothing I can do. My body sucks and I’ve done what I can.

I’ll eat junk food because I can. I know I’m fat and I know people will judge me. I know it might flare me worse. I know I’m privileged to be able to even get this.

Call me selfish.

Also obligatory villain curse: I hope my ex-spouse and anyone who has wronged me loses all of their ability to game. That’s a curse - I am cursing them, because I’m their unhinged, crazy, silly, stupid ex-spouse who they hate. I hope they and their friends waste hours of their life reading my blog laughing at me. Laugh at me and watch your life wither away, you fucking losers. Get fucking hooked on my unhinged content. Say “wow you really dodged a bullet” and “yeah they are crazy,” while gaslighting someone’s trauma processing because y’all are fucking hypocrites - you know it’s all going to come back at you, right? The more you make fun of “crazy” or “unhinged” people, the more you suffer… and I hope you do. I hope all of you face your karma and suffer so much. I hope all of you understand what it’s like to be in so much pain. I hope you can gain the empathy to understand what’s going on in this world and feel it. If not in this lifetime, then the next. I wish ill on all of you. That’s the curse.

[gywnbleidd-archive]

a very long long time ago i was tagged by @antifastark​, @daredeviil​ (on ur old blog thats how long its been), @robertdowneys​ and @florenepugh​ (even though it was 10 i just shoved all of them together) to basically list the first 20 sings that come on shuffle, as extra as I am I just did 80 ajsakd sorry for taking so long!

sex with me by rihanna

como lo hacia yo by ken-y

private caller by sky all spence

someone new by banks

lonely birds by 2xxx

black magic by magic wands

sedated by hoizer

stand back by stevie nicks

black coast by ride ft m. maggie

faded dream by goldmyth

it must be spring by nina simone

the lore by yoni & geti

fucked my way up to the top by lana del rey

castle by halsey

get here by sam smith

figured it out by royal blood

even the nights are better by air supply

rock and roll ain’t noise pollution by ac/dc

only a girl by gia woods

all of me by john legend

gun by mas ysa

praying by kesha

wicked games by ryan sheridan

promises by aly & aj

dalla dalla by itzy

la cancion by bad bunny ft. j balvin

i’m so sick by apink

too close by rainsford

painted by ms mr

starstruck by lady gaga

adams song by blink 182

artificial nocturne by metric

everybodys fool by evanescene

off road by skylar grey

ashes y maggie bjorklund

drunk on love by rihanna

poltergeist by banks

D-1 by yves (loona)

eclipse by kim lip (loona)

puzzle by choerry ft. jinsoul (loona)

love song by rihanna

cannibals by kyla la grange

sing for you by sonamoo

idfc by blackbear

playing house by active child

paranoid by lauv

white mustang by lana del rey

ghost by halsey

vibin” out with ((( o ))) by FKJ

leaving tonight by the neighborhood

frail love by cloves

girl that you love by panic at the disco

i will survive by gloria gaynor

rich white straight men by kesha

the fame by lady gaga

father and son by yusuf /cat stevens

lonely with you by no frills twins

close to me by the cure

cherry by lana del rey

boys don’t cry by the cure

centuries by fall out boy

pretty when you cry by lana del rey

odio by bad bunny ft. j balvin

sugar lips by midnight in april

salvatore by lana del rey

case closed by little mix

with a girl like you by thao & the get down

i wanna get better by the bleachers

california by lana del rey

west coast by the neighborhood

i’m not afraid by holland

no me alcanza by dulce y agraz

boyfriend by tegan and sara

kill our way to heaven by michi

disturbia by rihanna

recovery by broods

fly by kyla la grange

just like a dream by lykke li

loser by antwon

want you by pink paint

[payspersonal]

You Don’t Care and Maybe You Never Did

↪ Pairing - Cheater!Boyfriend!Jeon Jeongguk x Reader [BTS]

↪ Summary - He disappeared during the nights and appeared in the morning. Was this supposed to happen with the man who supposedly loved you whole-heartedly, but told you nothing of his nightly affairs?

↪ Word Count - +1.2k

↪ Genre - Angst

↪ Warnings - Cheating

↪ Note - This was like somewhat inspired by the song IDFC by BlackBear, with tidbits of others because I had an emo Nightcore week. This is for my Jeongguk loving big sis/best friend @loser-dot-com to help her get better!

I was thinking of making this into a two-shot, but I might just leave it as a one-shot. If you want this to be a two-shot, send me an ask!

↪ Important Links - [ Master List ]  [ To Do List ] [Drabble Game #1 + #2 ] [ Current Requests ]

“Jeongguk!”, you called out, your voice echoing through the apartment that as you thought, was indeed empty as it always was when you came back from work late.

This is how it always was when you came back from work. Your boyfriend of four years, Jeon Jeongguk, would not be in the shared apartment when you would come back from work.

It has been happening for the last two months.

At first, you discarded it, knowing that when you weren’t home to cook, that Jeongguk would leave to go get some food elsewhere.

After about a month, you started to become questionable about why Jeongguk would never be home to greet you when you finally arrived. So, as a naturally worried girlfriend, you asked him what he was doing, but he simply explained that he was spending time with his friends since you came home late.

But that’s where the problem was settled. You had started coming home earlier now, still greeted by the deafening silence and you’re boyfriend nowhere to be found. 

It slowly started to worry you even further. You knew he was lying when he said he stayed with his friends because you had contacted one of them, but he had said he had not seen him for the past two weeks.

What was Jeongguk doing? Why was he lying?

You had only one reasonable answer for it, that he was cheating. 

No, you didn’t want to psych yourself into believing it. You loved Jeongguk, and he loved you... right?

Shaking your head, you tried your best to push the thoughts away as you trudged into your bedroom, taking off your heels and leaving them b the bedroom door. Closing it, you simply stared at the king-sized bed.

It looked so empty - so cold. It reflected how you felt without Jeaongguk. 

When he wasn’t by your side as you fell asleep, you felt unbearably cold, but you said nothing of it. You never once mentioned it to Jeongguk, possibly never would because it seemed, as of right now, that he didn’t care enough to even be truthful about where he was, so why should he care if you felt alone at night?

Another sigh left your lips as you started to get changed into your night clothes, already wanting to go to bed and leave this day in the past, not wanting to remember that Jeongguk left you here; left you alone.

You would do anything to not remember that.

[1 Week Later]

He was home.

He was finally home.

“Jeongguk?”, you gasped softly, seeing him flip through channels on the living room television.

Watching as he turned towards you, he smiled and pushed himself off the couch. Getting closer to you, he enveloped you into his arms, wrapping them around you, pulling you close to him, “I love you and missed being here.”

This stunned you. When had he gone from being cold and cut off to smile and close?

“Hey, babe. How was work?” He asked cheerfully, still leaving you shocked as you looked at him.

“Busy and boring, as usual.”, you shrugged, trying to brush off your shocked emotions, but still a little tense as he removed his arms from your body.

You somewhat missed being in his arms, but you knew there were more pressing matters to discuss with him - cuddles could be held for later times.

“Jeongguk?”

“Hmm?”, he hummed out as he grasped your hand, hauling you along to the kitchen.

“Where have you been for the past two months and a week?”, you bluntly asked, watching as he stilled for a moment then continuing his way to get some ramen from the cabinets.

“With my friends,” he simply answered, but he was tense. You could see how he was starting to get nervous, evidence in his voice.

“You are lying. I called SeokJin. He said he hasn’t seen you in weeks.”

“Shit”, he mumbled, still audible to your ears in the silence.

“You told me you love me. Is it the truth? If it is, why have you been lying to me? Do you know how I felt to not be close to you for the last two months? Do you know how alone I was, going to sleep alone in a huge, empty, lonely bed? Do you know how sad and broken I felt when you wouldn’t come home for days, yet left so early in the morning? Can you even imagine feeling any of that, yet still manage to come back to you and try to brush it off as it was like nothing?” 

It was like words your spilling out of your mouth. All your thoughts, your feelings, your mouth just wouldn’t close. You couldn't stop it. You wanted to stop, but you just couldn’t.

“I want the truth. I deserve the truth. I do not deserve to have lied too.”, you looked him in the eyes.

You were not going to give up and answer with something simple. You were not going to be brushed off his shoulder as if you were nothing to him, just a spec on his shoulder. You were stronger than that and you would not stand for some man to view as anything less\, not even your boyfriend.

“I’ve been cheating. I went to her place every day. I told my hyungs to lie for me if you called them, suspecting anything, but I guess they didn’t stay with it.”, Jeongguk sighed, his attention focused on the ground, looking at his shoes.

You nodded. There was nothing else you could do but nod. You wouldn’t show him how sad and broken up over about it. 

“Alright.”, you slowly stood up. 

“Alright?”, Jeongguk questioned, finally lifting his head up to look at you.

This time, you couldn’t look him. You could not look him in the eyes, not after his confession.You could not look at the man who you had promised your love to, and trust him with your heart. You could not look at the man who had cheated on you but trusted his friends to keep the gig up for him.

“Y/N? What do you mean ‘Alright’?”

“I mean I can not look at you. I can not look at you because of what you have done. You have betrayed me, my trust, and my heart without - probably - giving it a second thought and trusted your friends, who I am friend with too, to help you lie. I would’ve been better off dating one of them than you. Now if you don’t mind, can you get the hell out of my home? I will ask one of the guys to pick up your things later.”, you got up, walking angrily into the living room, snatching up his jacket and shoes and shoving them in his chest.

“Y/N - I - can we talk about this?”, Jeongguk stuttered.

“No, we can not talk about this. How can we talk about you breaking me when you didn’t even care?! Now you want to talk about this!”, you shouted at him, feeling anger radiate off of you as you glared at him furiously.

“Like I said, get the hell out of my home. Now.”

Without saying a word, he left silently. 

“Fuck.”, you whispered, watching the door that he had previously walked out of. 

Was it supposed to end like this?

Where had everything gone wrong? Why hadn't you noticed and why couldn’t you stop it?