#Jeon Jungkook angst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

winterchimez · 5 months ago

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Heart's Detour | Jeon Jungkook

SUMMARY: there has been a rise in kidnapping cases in town, and your brother feared for your safety and decided to send someone who would keep you safe in the meantime. what you least expected was that the biker gang's leader was the one your brother had gotten for you, thinking that this could probably be the biggest mistake you'll ever make in your life.

PAIRING: biker!Jungkook x afab!reader (feat. lieutenant!Seokjin)

GENRE: biker au, angst, crime, fluff, thriller, slight suggestive

WARNINGS: nc-17, flirty & delulu kookie 😃👍, slow-burn, pet names (sweetheart, princess, kitten), violence, action scenes (certain parts may contain slight bit of gory content), mentions of weaponary (guns), minor characters death, blood, betrayal, mentions of crime (kidnapping and human trafficking), slight mention about sex, traumatic backstories, mentions about mental well-being/health, Jungkook is shirtless at one point 👀, kissing, making out, yn also flirts back but it's only to keep Jungkook in place 🫡

WORD COUNT: 22,779

A/N: my very first bangtan fic!! if you thought this seems familiar, it's bcs i have written this originally for tbz Sunwoo which you can access here !! i just love this baby so much and somehow...kookie just fits the story too well. so here it is & i hope you'll enjoy!

“Oh my god, you look like my next big mistake.”

That was the first thing that escaped right out of your mouth as the familiar figure pulled into the driveway. You already knew who it was—that black leather jacket, the black helmet that covered his breathtaking look (as much as you didn’t want to admit it), and the slightly worn-out boots he always wore.

It was the moment he took his helmet off and shook his hair to clear his vision so that he would always look straight at you and smile before you decided to ruin the mood.

“Now that’s just rude. I was nice enough to accept your brother’s request to come pick you up.”

“What makes you think I’d go with you, Jungkook? You’re one of our district's most dangerous human beings,” you deadpanned.

“Look sweetheart, it’s either you hop on, or I’ll leave you behind. For your information, I would still drag your ass to ride my baby because I would not want to be fed to the hound dogs by your brother.”

With his reply, you quickly glanced around the area you were in to find that it was dead silent and empty and that it was already going to be midnight as you glanced at your watch. Knowing that you didn’t have a choice, you reluctantly grabbed the helmet Jungkook was extending to you and placed it over your head.

He smirked at your reaction, knowing very well how he was the only option to get back home. Before he did the same, he hopped back into his vehicle.

“Grab on.” That was the last thing he said before covering down his face shield as he started the engine. As you gently wrapped your arms around his wrist, he gave the throttle a few twists. Instantly, the bike propelled forward, and you were both on the road.

It wasn’t unusual for your brother Seokjin to cancel on you and be unable to pick you up from your job location on the city's outskirts. You knew deep down that he was always busy with his job back at the station. He was one of the lieutenants of the Seoul Metropolitan Police Department, after all. When duty calls, he has to stay behind and arrange transport for you instead.

You have repeatedly reassured him that you could take the bus back home or figure out how to deal with matters like this on your own. However, your brother insisted that you were not to take the public transport back as there has been a sudden rise in crimes in the city.

Additionally, the town you resided in was infamous for the biker gangs, the one that the man in front of you was part of. Nobody dared to come close to them, fearing for their lives as they were capable of doing the worst possible things you could’ve imagined. But it was part of their persona that they always kept up with, as it helped them stay safe from potential dangers or threats against them.

Hence, you have never understood why your brother, who was part of the police force, would associate with a man like Jeon Jungkook. As far as you and the public knew, he was the leader of the biker gang in Seoul. As soon as his name was mentioned, the public would keep a distance and fear the man himself. But because of how often you have interacted with the man, you find him to be the complete opposite of the image he painted towards the public.

In reality, he was a goofy guy and not as terrifying nor harmful as the public had determined him to be. He was careless at times, getting all ahead of himself, which completely paints the picture of him being delusional. At times, you would tease him about something, and that was when you realised he gets scared easily. Talk to him about a ghost story, and you can guarantee that he was going to piss his pants even before you even reached the climax of your story.

In other words, he always looked out for you in your brother’s absence, and he would lurk behind the shadows somewhere, ensuring you would be all alright. You were pretty sure that he probably signed some sort of deal or contract with your brother to do so because who were they to spend most of their life looking out for a young adult like you?

You were definitely grateful for that, as much as you would never admit it straight up to Jungkook’s face; you just couldn’t understand why a biker leader like him would associate with you and your brother.

As you both rode for a bit, you eventually found yourselves back in the heart of Seoul. There was something about riding a bike as you took in the breathtaking view as the wind rushed past your tousling hair, sending this thrilling sensation down your spine.

If you were with a complete stranger, it would have set off so many alarms in your mind because of the multiple biker stories you have heard from the news and your brother.

But somehow, for some reason, riding with Jungkook has always made you feel comfortable and safe.

Perhaps it was why you decided to hop on with him in the first place. It was your first time riding his bike with him, yet you weren’t too mad about the idea. In fact, you were kind of grateful that your brother set up such arrangements.

It didn’t take you both long enough before Jungkook eventually dropped you off right at your doorstep. You got off the bike with ease and handed the helmet back to him as you walked up to your front door porch. Right before you decided to turn the doorknob to open the door, you turned your head back to see that Jungkook was still there looking at you.

“You’re not going to kidnap me, aren’t you?”

“Come on, you actually think that I’m a pervert? What makes you think so, sweetheart?”

“Many reasons,” you spat.

“Rude.”

“I’ll take that.”

“Well, now that you’re back home safe and sound, I’ll finally take my leave. Let your brother know about it.”

With one final glance, he lifted his feet on the ground back up to his bike before twisting the throttle again to give his motorcycle an immediate surge of power, and he sped quickly out from your neighbourhood.

As you got into the comforts of your home, you made yourself comfortable before sending your brother Seokjin a text to tell him that you were safe and sound before tucking yourself into bed.

Throughout the night, you just couldn’t help but ponder why the biker’s leader would actually care or even listen to the law enforcement to escort you back home. He couldn’t have cared less and certainly had much more pressing matters than dealing with a young adult like you.

As you tossed and turned in your bed, that question remained in your mind, keeping you wide awake all night.

Jeon Jungkook, just who or what exactly are you?

“So you’re my personal babysitter now?”

You were chilling at your local coffee shop, rushing up your remaining assignments due the following week. You were still a university student before your part-time job and had no choice but to sacrifice most of your sleep and free time to deal with pressing matters.

Just as you were typing away on your laptop, a familiar figure suddenly approached you with two cups of iced macchiato in both hands before he plopped down on the seat right across you and handed you one of the drinks. You raised an eyebrow at him, making him stop sipping his coffee away.

“Brother’s orders,” he replied.

You had no idea why exactly Seokjin was doing all of this. In fact, he hasn’t been coming home much for the past week as he had been caught up with work at his station, which is also where you assumed he was sleeping for the time being. During his absence, the infamous biker leader sitting in front of you has been personally coming to pick you up from work every single day.

You thought that since you were off to focus on your studies this whole week, you would finally take a break from the delusional man himself. It turns out you were wrong, and he was here with you in the coffee shop you once called your comfort place.

You didn’t entirely hate this guy, though; it was more of questioning why he was associating with you more often now as one of the town’s most feared individuals. Naturally, that also caused the people around you to give you the side-eye or just avoid you like the plague, all thanks to the one and only Jeon Jungkook.

There was a moment of silence between you two as you continued typing away on your laptop. It wasn’t long before the male bent over to peek at your laptop screen to see what you were working with.

“Don’t even bother helping me," you replied bluntly.

“You never know I might be an expert in your field of work.”

You sighed. “Jeon Jungkook. It’s literature.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be the biker gang leader for no reason. I’ve got great communication skills, after all.”

“For your information, it’s about writing a 2000 essay review on William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.”

Upon hearing the novel's name, he immediately grinned widely before scooting his chair closer to you, giving you this puppy look that he was now very intrigued by your work.

“Oh my god, Romeo and Juliet is my absolute favourite! Mark my words when I tell you I am a huge fan of romance novels or TV shows!”

You sighed in defeat when he began reading the essay that you have written so far; you could tell that he was the type not to let go of something that piqued his interest. He was even reading it very diligently, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at that sight.

“Hey, don’t look down on me. Just so you know, I aced all of my tests back in school and was a model student.”

“Hmm, questionable, but I will take that.”

Just like that, the time seemed to pass as quickly as possible, and you were even surprised by how much knowledge he had about the classic novella itself. It was intriguing to find out that he got invested in the topic and was able to help you brainstorm specific ideas that you could add on to make your essay much more sophisticated.

Right when you were about to type away to finish up the final parts of your essay, you suddenly felt a little tap on your shoulders, which made you turn your head back to see who it was. Once you laid your eyes upon them, you quickly shot up from your chair and gave them a big hug.

“Kisa! Where exactly have you been? Everyone at work has missed you so badly.” You hugged your former co-worker tightly, rubbing your cheeks together even as it had been months since you had last seen each other.

“I know. Things have been rough recently, and I had no choice but to take a short leave.”

“You could have at least told us what was going on, Kisa. Weren’t we all your closest buds around town?”

She chuckled. “I guess.”

There was a little awkward moment of silence between you two, which you thought was a bit odd as Kisa used to be an excellent talker who would always have a topic ready up her sleeves. You quickly examined the look in her eyes, and you could tell that something was off; it almost felt as if she was trying to tell you something, but she couldn’t for some reason.

Hence, you decided to ask her. “Hey Kisa, is everything alright—”

“You know, Y/N! There is this new cafe right towards the end of the street where we could go that serves your favourite croffles. It’s been a while, so why don’t we catch up for a bit?” Kisa asked rather hastily.

You could sense that something was off from her tone of voice and speech, and you desperately wanted to find out at this point.

“Yeah, of course! Let’s head off—”

“I’m sorry, but she won’t be able to join you today.”

Immediately, Jungkook grabbed your wrist, pulled you back towards him and wrapped his hands around your shoulders.

“You see, Y/N is actually on a date with me today. Perhaps the both of you could do it some other time? I apologise for that, Miss.” Jungkook replied with a smile on his face, and that immediately made Kisa back off.

“Y-Yeah, of course! I’m so sorry to have bothered you, Y/N. I’ll see you sometime again soon!”

Instantly, Kisa turned her heel and dashed towards the front door. Just like that, your co-worker you haven’t seen for months disappeared into thin air once again. You quickly darted your face back to Jungkook, trying to interrogate him as to why on earth he had done what he did.

“Jeon Jungkook, I knew you were delusional, but that doesn’t mean you could do that to me—”

“Let’s get out of here.”

Jungkook immediately cut you off and quickly helped take all your belongings for you as he pushed you towards the front door, right towards his bike. Once you both had strapped on, Jungkook immediately took speed and quickly drove away. During the entire ride home, it was obvious that he knew or saw something, as you felt his whole body was all tense up as you wrapped your arms around him.

He was awfully quiet too, not even sparring a glance back at you during the journey, and that alone was weird enough for you since he would always joke around and shout aloud amidst the busy traffic to make sure that you were still able to converse with him.

But no, not this time.

Once he dropped you off at your front porch, he kept scanning the area around your house and wouldn’t even try to speak with you. When you finally removed the helmet and handed it back to him, he quickly grabbed your wrist again, and his grip tightened against yours.

“Whatever you do, stay at home for now. Do not leave unless it is me or your brother who answers the door,” he spoke firmly, making sure you get that through your head before he finally let go of your grip.

This was the infamous biker leader you grew up listening to rumours about how he was cold in reality, and as to why so many people were terrified of him. There was this aura around this man, and that whatever came out from his mouth, he meant business, and he wasn’t the type to joke around when he set his mind on something. It was also the deathly cold stare he gave that scared so many people, including you right now as you witness them firsthand in person.

Giving him a little nod, he lets go of your grip so you can finally head up to open your locked front door. Once you had turned the doorknob and taken your first step in, you glanced behind again to see that he was still giving you that cold death stare. To be honest, it terrified you a little, and you knew that you couldn’t ask what the whole fiasco happened back at the cafe, at least not for now.

With that, you walked right into the comforts of your house and closed the door shut, eyes still glued towards that cold death stare from the biker leader. You tried your best to distract yourself by cleaning up the house a little and getting yourself all cosy and ready for bed while sparing a few glances at your windows to see that Jungkook was still there, staring directly at your house, or rather, at you.

It wasn’t until the clock finally struck midnight that Jungkook decided it was time to leave you alone as he drove off and disappeared.

Whatever happened today was enough for you to finally conclude that something was up, and you needed to know. It surely must not have just been a pure coincidence that Jungkook has been popping up in your life just like that out of the blue, and how your brother actually trusted him and asked that he took care of you in his place, and with what happened today at the cafe with Kisa.

Something was definitely up, and you needed answers. Immediately.

You couldn’t care less if you were to be scolded by your big brother. When you woke up this morning, you quickly called for a taxi to take you to your brother’s station. It took a while to convince the ones at the reception that your brother was one of the lieutenants, so they had to call Seokjin and make him personally come down to escort you.

Seokjin's eyes widened upon seeing you, but the moment he saw your face, he knew that you came here for a good reason and that you weren’t just here for a visit.

After passing through the multiple securities, you finally ended up in his office on one of the top floors. Luckily, things weren’t too busy, so your brother had some time to spare with you.

“Hey sis, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come home lately nor pick you up from work. It’s just that I have had so many cases to deal with—”

“Seokjin, I need answers.” You cut him off.

It was the look that you had in your eyes that made it absolutely clear to Seokjin that you weren’t leaving until you had the answers that you desperately wanted. It has always been like this for you, even when you were a child. You were persistent and would do anything to get whatever you wanted. With you seated on the couch in his office, you leaned back slightly and crossed your arms and legs, indirectly telling your brother to do the same.

Seokjin let out a deep sigh before he finally got himself comfortable and placed a hot cup of freshly brewed tea he had made just for you right onto the table, pushing it towards you before he finally sat down across the couch from you.

It took a moment for him to rub his palms together before lifting up his face to look directly at you.

“Y/N, please know that I’m doing everything I can to keep you safe at all times—”

“Not that, Seokjin. Just cut to the chase, please.”

“It’s…well, long story short, there have been multiple cases of young girls who have been going missing for the past couple of weeks. And we have been searching high and low for clues but to no avail.” He furrowed his eyebrows as he finally spat out what had been bugging him for weeks.

“Okay? And what does that have to do with you sending the infamous Jeon Jungkook to care for me?”

“You’ll be needing him, Y/N. I promise he will surely be looking out for you, no matter what.”

“Well, that’s reassuring to know. But why, Seokjin? Since when have you ever associated yourself with a dangerous man like him?” You questioned.

This time, you could tell that your brother was slightly hesitant in his next words and struggled to come up with possible answers that would please your curiosity.

“That’s…something I can’t say for now. But you will eventually find out yourself soon.”

You scoffed before standing up and raising your voice towards your brother. “Seokjin, I came all the way out here to hear answers from you, my own brother. The fact that what happened at the cafe last night was odd enough, to the point that Jungkook even gave me this death stare warning me as if I may be in danger or something. I have no idea what exactly you both are planning, but you better tell me everything from the beginning for God’s sake, right this second.”

There was this apologetic look in his eyes as he stared right back at your now-turning-red face, standing up and placing both hands on your shoulders, trying to calm you down. It was then, all of a sudden, that there was a knock on his door, and he instructed whoever it was to come in. It was one of his subordinates, and he was summoned to the chief’s office to discuss the missing cases further.

Before Seokjin left the room, he turned back to grab his jacket quickly and hastily put it on while speaking to you for one last time.

“Stay here, Y/N. I’ll drop you back home after I’m done with this meeting. I’ll try my best to return as soon as possible.”

Within seconds, Seokjin and his subordinate rushed out of the room and closed the door shut. Now that your brother was gone, there was no way that you would just sit back and relax, knowing that there have been cases of young girls going missing around town. You needed to learn more about this, even if your brother isn’t willing to tell you anything more about it.

You decided to salvage through his work desk, opening up each cabinet to see if you could find anything useful regarding the case. Scanning through the multiple files that he had kept away nicely, it seemed as if your brother might have taken the file that contained potential evidence or information about the missing girls, so you were left with nothing that could give you a bit of an insight to what exactly was going around in town.

That was until you discovered a little slip of paper peeking through one of the files.

You quickly took it out from the folder, and a smirk began to form on your face as you read through the information on that little piece of paper.

“If you’re not going to tell me, Seokjin, I’ll figure all this out myself then.”

With the last remaining pocket money you had, you managed to hail a taxi to bring you to the specified location that was written on that little piece of paper. However, you gave the driver a slightly different route than the one from the paper, for you knew that no ordinary citizen would ever step foot within the infamous territory.

The moment you stepped out of the vehicle, you assumed that you would be walking for about a good ten minutes before you were able to arrive at the exact location. You didn’t mind that in the slightest bit—you just needed to find the right person to ask the questions that have been gruelling in the back of your mind.

The walk towards the location wasn’t exactly smooth as you had to pass through the woods to get there undetected. It was already dark out then, so you had to rely on your handy-dandy torchlight from your phone to guide you through the woods. It felt eerie, and the crackling sounds as you stepped on the branches scattered across the ground didn’t help in the slightest bit.

But you had to remind yourself that you came here constantly for a purpose: no matter what, you weren’t going home empty-handed. With the best of your abilities, you pushed through and eventually, arrived after almost an hour of walking, where, in reality, it would’ve taken you ten minutes if you didn’t spend most of the time getting lost in the woods.

What mattered was that you were finally at the location, and upon first inspection, it was a vast empty parking lot filled with motorcycles from one end to another. Thankfully, there were multiple huge metal transport boxes that filled the area, so you sneakily stepped out from the woods and ran to the closest one to hide.

You decided to sneak your head out a little and peek through the corners of the box, and as expected, you were able to spot several individuals towards the far end of the parking lot. Some of them were leaning against their bikes as they drank to their heart’s content while chatting away, while others were ultimately passed out and fast asleep in the empty garage at the centre.

Judging from the location you were at now, it was nearly impossible to hear precisely what those individuals were talking about. If you want to get your hands on concrete evidence, you have got to move closer.

With a quick dash, you ran towards box by box while trying your best to be undetected. Each time you managed to get from one box to another, you always gave yourself a quiet sigh of relief and tried your best to calm your beating heart down.

Okay, just a few more boxes to go. I can do this—

Instantly, someone came up from behind to cup your mouth with their hands while the other was wrapped around your chest, trying to calm your muffling sounds down.

“What in God’s mind were you even thinking of stepping foot in this place?”

That voice. It belonged to the person you have been longing to find in the first place.

“J-Jungkook,” you muffled as his hands still cupped your mouth.

At that moment, both of you heard footsteps coming closer to where you were and knew you were about to be cornered. There was no reason for an outsider like you to be present in the biker gang’s territory, and you would pretty much be skinned alive if you were to be found.

Time was ticking, and you needed to think of a way to get out of here undetected.

But thankfully, it seemed as if Jungkook had everything under control.

Or so you thought.

Just when the few bikers came around the corner, a loud gasp came from them as they witnessed the sight beyond them. Never in a million years would they have caught their boss making out with some random stranger in their base.

“U-Uh, boss? What exactly is going on?” One of the bikers stammered, hoping that the question asked wouldn’t get him into trouble.

It took a few seconds for Jungkook to turn his head to look at them with his face looking like a mess as if he had just had a steamy kissing session with whoever he was with, as he was also trying his best to protect your identity by pushing your head down towards the crook of his neck.

The bikers gulped at the sight, but Jungkook quickly gave them a plausible answer for now.

“You see, this little one has gotten some valuable information from us, and I’m just doing a favour to get them cough up whatever shit that they know and to ruin them a little bit for some fun.” He smirked.

That was enough to shut the bikers up, and then they quickly brushed it off, telling their boss that they would get a quick smoke to loosen up a bit. As they finally walked away and the coast was clear, Jungkook immediately lifted your head to get you to face him directly. He could tell you were beyond speechless and there was this unreadable emotion on your face.

Confused? Mad? Upset? Maybe all of it at once.

But that didn’t stop him from dragging you out of that place as he quickly brought you back into the woods, going through the dark passageway once again until you both ended up back on the road you originally came from.

That was when you finally freed yourself from his grasp, and you began raising your voice at him, even if you didn’t mean to.

You didn’t know what you were feeling at this point either—one thing for sure is that you definitely felt overwhelmed by everything that was happening. As much as you tried to open your mouth, the words wouldn’t come straight out. With that, Jungkook decided to help you finish your sentence instead.

“Admit it, you liked my kiss.”

Your eyes widened. “What the actual bullshit, Jeon Jungkook.”

“So now you can talk.”

God, this was starting to get to your head badly, and there was just so much vulgar language that you wanted to throw at the man in front of you. But it seems that Jungkook was once a step ahead of you.

“You’re up to no good, princess.”

“What do you even know, Jungkook-”

“I have a pretty good guess that you came without telling your brother, or rather, against his orders.”

You absolutely hated that Jungkook knew precisely what was going on in your mind and how he could read you perfectly. It was as if you were just plain as day—your discreet movements or actions you’ve tried to keep secret will always be revealed quickly against your own will.

Eventually, you decided to give in. “Fine. I did.”

“Now, someone is not being a good sibling, aren’t they? Might have to report back to big brother Seokjin, and someone’s going to get some timeout—”

Before Jungkook could finish his sentence, you quickly stomped towards him and grabbed his collar, seemingly shutting him up for a moment.

“You’re going to tell me everything. Every single detail, Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook already had a good guess as to why you were here in the first place. You came to find him and took the risk of visiting his hideout written on the piece of paper you found in Seokjin’s office. Mentally, he was throwing curses at your brother for not spilling the details because now he was the one who was going to do it instead.

Kim Seokjin, I sincerely hope that your microwave is going to break down so that you will be having cold meals for a period of time and that you will get your ass kicked by your CEO for not having much progress in the missing cases.

From your not-so-nice friend, Jeon Jungkook.

As much as you almost exerted this fiery aura, Jungkook did not flinch in the slightest. He was used to things like this anyway; he was the biker gang’s leader after all. Instead, he grinned back at you.

“You clearly have lost your mind thinking that you can manipulate the biker leader to spill out the deeds for you. It seems that you have not experienced why exactly the public fear about us, Y/N.”

This time, he slowly takes a step forward little by little, and you slowly begin to back off while your hands remain on the collar of his shirt.

“Let me tell you a little something, Y/N. The moment when you stepped within our territory, you were just as good as dead meat.” Jungkook continued.

Another step forward.

“Do you know why the public fear us, Y/N? We are predators. And predators hunt for prey who messes with us.”

Another step forward.

“And you little innocent citizens of Seoul have officially become our prey because no one messes with us. I mean, no one. You have chosen death when you decided even to come close to us.”

Another step forward.

“So you might as well say your last words before I devour you up, hmm?” Jungkook then stops at his track as he leans forward so that both of your faces are mere inches away, and he closes his eyes while giving you the biggest smile you have seen just yet.

That alone was enough to shake you to your core.

It was just as portrayed in books and TV shows, on how smiles make the villains ten times worse than they are. When a villain smiles, you drop everything and run for it.

If only that were what exactly you did.

You straighten your posture before you spit back at him. “You won’t have the guts to do that to me, Jeon Jungkook.”

“And what makes you think that, sweetheart?”

“Because you love me,” you spat.

Upon hearing those words, the smile immediately fell from his face, and a shocked expression replaced it. Jungkook quickly backed off and took a few steps back away from you.

Bingo.

“N-No, I don’t.” Jungkook chuckled.

“Jokes on you, young man—you were literally head over heels for me, that’s why you agreed to babysit me in the first place.”

You instantly noticed how flushed his face was getting as he quickly cupped both sides of his face with his hands, trying to calm the heat down. But that did not stop you from moving towards him now as you continued taunting him.

“You know, I think your fellow bikers would be delighted to hear that their boss was in love with a commoner like me, don’t you think? I’m sure the biker community loves to hear romance since you boys have been angsty all year.”

“No no no! Not the biker community! I’m supposed to be a cool leader everyone looks up to and worship goddamit!” He was now covering his ears like a little child.

Oh, Jeon Jungkook, you indeed are such a sucker for romance.

Finally, you took the final steps and stood before him, placing both hands upon his shoulders, and you returned a devilish smile.

“I think someone’s got a good explanation to do before I feed him to my brother’s hound dogs back at the station.”

“Kim Y/N, I absolutely would love to ruin your makeup right now.”

“Jeon Jungkook, I absolutely would love to throw you straight into the river right now.”

After that confrontation on the empty road, you both decided to take this whole conversation elsewhere before any of the bikers made their way out to confront you two again.

So you hopped back onto Jungkook’s bike and drove a little to the well-known spot in Seoul, Han River.

Since Jungkook had barely recovered from your counterattack before, he was clearly distracted as he droved through the city, constantly putting out this pout and sulky expression on his face, making you want to tease him more.

Occasionally, you would purposely snake your hands up to his abdomen to his chest, which made the male squirm and his body tense upon the contact, making him cry out loud, for God’s sake, and somehow apologise throughout the entire ride.

The moment you both got to the river, Jungkook immediately asked you to get out of his vehicle while trying to calm his pounding chest down. Unfortunately, you were nowhere near done wrecking the bike leader, so you snaked your arms around him as you dragged him out from his bike, taking them down to one of the stairs facing the river.

Jungkook was not in the right mind and was trying his best to counterattack, which at one point he did. But thanks to the taekwondo classes you took back in the day, you quickly turned the tables around.

So now Jeon Jungkook was the one pinned to the ground while you were hovering above him, pinning both his hands above his head while your legs kept his in place, leaving him no room to move around.

“If only being delusional wasn’t my weakness, I swear Y/N…”

“Tell that to the ones who created you. They were the ones to cast this spell upon you.”

“What do I get if I tell you the truth?”

You paused for a moment. What were you going to repay him exactly?

But since you were already keeping up with this facade a couple of hours ago, you might as well continue the seeds that you have planted.

“A kiss from me to you.”

Upon hearing those words, the male smirked before finally closing his eyes and let loose his body slightly.

“Fine, Y/N. You win.”

With that, you also did the same by slowly releasing your grip on his arms, knowing well how he wouldn’t be counterattacking you soon.

“What I am about to tell you, Y/N… I’m not exactly sure if you’re able to stomach it all, to be honest.”

“Nothing as bad as the cases that my brother has done, I bet.”

“Fair. Your brother deals with brutal homicide cases, after all.”

Jungkook then propped himself up, and you decided to give him some space by getting off him and sitting cross-legged at his side. It took Jungkook a moment to gather his thoughts before finally telling you the whole story.

“Y/N, did you realise why I dragged you away on that day you met that co-worker of yours?”

“You meant Kisa?”

“Did you notice anything strange about her?”

“Well, yeah I kind of did. Her demeanour was setting off many red flags in my mind for sure,” you replied. The thought about Kisa once again made you frown; you have been constantly worrying about her since that day.

“I’ll tell you right now that she is one of the girls who had gone missing for the past couple of months.”

Missing? Is she related to the missing person cases that your brother was dealing with then?

“The fact that she has reappeared all of a sudden was strange enough, and luckily, I noticed a barcode tattooed right behind her ear.”

Barcode? What exactly was going on?

Jungkook noticed how perplexed you were with the whole situation and sighed before continuing with his words.

“Y/N, I think you do know what happens when someone is tattooed with a barcode on different parts of their body, don’t you?”

No. It can’t be. You knew exactly what it meant, but you wouldn’t have expected it to happen to someone close to you, let alone to one who has suddenly disappeared from your radar, only for them to reappear out of the blue.

“No, you don’t mean it.”

“Come on, Y/N. You know exactly how crime works in Seoul, especially in our district—it’s corrupted, and plenty of cases like this go unnoticed because the culprits can often get away undetected.”

That can’t be true—you absolutely can’t accept the fact that Kisa was a victim of human trafficking.

You slowly began to stammer in your speech. “S-So, you basically saved my life back there and then.”

“If you want to put it that way, I guess I did.”

This time, Jungkook decided to scooch a little bit closer to you, and the tone in his voice dropped as if he was now whispering what crucial detail he was about to say next.

“Y/N, why did you think your brother made a deal with me to follow you wherever you go?”

You decided to break the tension in the air slightly by making a little joke. “I’d like to think it was your idea instead because you have committed to being my stalker.”

“Calling me a stalker is flat-out rude, Y/N. Especially after all that I have done for you,” he sulked.

You were glad Jungkook could still joke around with you slightly to ease the tension.

“Fine, to keep me safe then.”

“That’s one for sure, but also because we made a pact to crack these cold cases together without the superiors in the station knowing a thing about this.”

Huh. “So you’re a biker detective now?”

“Yeah, a very cool one at that too. I saved your life not once but twice. Seokjin should give me a pay raise, let’s be honest.”

“What do you mean you actually suck at your job. You have to have someone’s consent first before you start making out with them, especially in public.” You slightly blushed at that comment. You certainly weren't going to tell him that he took your first kiss away, and you hoped that your surroundings were dark enough so that Jungkook wasn’t able to see clearly that your ears were beginning to look bright red as a tomato right now.

Unfortunately for you, he was a romance fanatic, so obviously, he could tell that you were embarrassed to say all of that. It was his sign to strike back now.

“Oh honey, that kiss was a little extra from your care package that your brother signed you up for. You should be grateful that you get an extra treatment from me.” He took a string of your hair and started twirling around his fingers.

“….shut up.” You muttered.

Oh god, how much he was enjoying this whole moment right there.

The next thing that happened was that he moved closer again and cupped both of your cheeks with his hands before leaning his forhead against yours.

“What in the world are you even thinking of doing—”

“Y/N, listen to me closely about what I am about to say next, and I will only say it once.”

That made all of the embarrassment from earlier die down. Judging from the look in his eyes, you knew things were about to get serious next.

“Another reason why your brother personally asked for me to care for you for the time being was because he knew that something bad was going to happen real soon.”

“Something bad?”

“You see, we have been working together on this case for months now. With our thorough investigations, it’s clear that whoever was the mastermind behind all of this may actually be someone we are acquainted with.”

“Someone much closer to us, that is.”

Your eyes widened upon that last sentence, and you knew this case was far worse than you thought. It was a life-and-death situation if either of you let your guard down. If that was the case, it also meant that you weren’t the only one in danger.

Bracing yourself, you slowly and reluctantly asked Jungkook something that you hoped it was just yourself thinking way further ahead than you should.

“S-Seokjin isn't going to die, isn’t he?”

Jungkook didn’t reply, but he stared straight into your eyes. With that, your eyes became teary, and you were on the verge of crying out silently. You knew that Seokjin’s job always evolved around dangerous criminals, and there’s no guarantee that he might come home each day in one piece; he had accepted his fate ever since he took on the badge in the first place.

But now, with the recent events and how he had placed you under Jungkook’s care, you knew that this was far worse than any of you had encountered before.

Tears began dripping down your face, and Jungkook lightly brushed his fingers against your cheek to wipe them away.

“Y/N, from now on, I’m afraid you should stay as far away from your brother as possible. In other words, you’ll be stuck with me for now.”

“That doesn’t mean that I won’t be seeing him anymore, isn’t it?” You sobbed.

Jungkook smiled. “Of course not. It is so that both of us can conduct our investigation much more smoothly without outsiders intruding on our plan. I promise you, I won’t let your brother die. That would also mean that the lives of both you siblings are at my outermost top priority now.”

“Why Jungkook? Why would a biker leader like you even associate with us law enforcement? Didn’t you and your people hate us for decades?”

He chuckled before placing a kiss on the top of your forehead.

“Kim Seokjin saved me and gave me another chance at life. And I am going to return the favour.”

It has been ten minutes since the both of you were back on the road again. You were trying to take in all of Seoul’s beautiful night views, as you might not see them for a while.

After calming yourself down at Han River, Jungkook filled you in with everything you needed to know before you both took off back on the road. Based on what your brother and Jungkook have been able to investigate so far, they decided that it was safe to conclude that the mastermind was either someone within the biker community or one of the higher-ups from the police agency. That was precisely why your brother was in a tight situation and was at risk of falling into the hands of the enemy since he was one of the lieutenants and had no control over his superiors.

It was precisely why Seokjin decided it was best for you to keep a distance from him at the moment, for the fear that you might fall into the hands of the enemy. Hence, giving you to Jungkook for now would mean that you had a higher chance of survival—being a biker meant that Jungkook was able to move around much more freely compared to a detective who was bound by rules that he had to abide by at all times.

In the meantime, Jungkook has also been on the go trying to figure out who the traitor within the biker’s community was who started all of this. According to the male, he guessed that someone from the detective agency was manipulating and might even be paying the traitor within the biker gang a large sum of money to traffick these young ladies out of the country. Since the bikers usually hunt out late at night, there was no doubt that the victims would have been vulnerable against them and quickly fell into their hands.

In order to keep you safe, and since Jungkook has practically told you the entire plan, he has no choice but to bring you along on his investigations; as much as he hated that idea and he would much prefer locking you away somewhere where you could lay down low until the whole crime spree is over.

However, he knew that you would be much safer if you were within his sight range, and he would feel much more comfortable knowing that you were always near him.

He has learnt it the hard way before anyway.

As you both ride through the night and out away from Seoul, there is this anxious feeling rotten deep within your gut—you are terrified, knowing now that you have finally fallen victim to the dark, corrupted crime world in Seoul.

With that, your arms wrapped around Jungkook’s waist tightened, and you gently laid your cheeks against his back. You just wished this ride with Jungkook could have happened at a much better time and under better circumstances.

“Damn, Jeon Jungkook. Who knew you’d have a hideout in the middle of nowhere?”

You were astounded with the entire place. It was located outside of town, and it took the both of you about a two-hour ride to get to this place, which was eventually in the middle of the wilderness. You thought building a simple cabin here was a genius idea because chances of survival were much higher, especially for Jungkook, who lives a dangerous life each day.

As Jungkook guided and led you up to the steps of his front door, he inserted a key and unlocked the front door within seconds, and your jaw dropped the moment he turned on the lights that lit up the entire cabin.

“Welcome to my safe space, Y/N.”

Upon further inspection, you could tell that the entire cabin was built meticulously—from the sturdy timber that formed the walls, the simple yet captivating decor that filled the entire place, and the cosy fireplace that stood right at one of the corners of the living space. The entire place just felt comforting; even a stranger would agree when they stepped into this place in the woods.

Jungkook noticed you had been slowly moving around the cabin, taking in all its glory. He decided that he wouldn’t be ruining this little moment you have and went straight into the pantry to whip up some hot cocoa for the two of you.

It all felt too good to be true. You have only seen or read places like this in books or films; never in a million years would you have thought that you would get a chance to reside, let alone step into a place like this at all. It was as if you were living in a dream, and you just wished you could shut off the outside world for a while and relax in this place for as long as possible.

As you slowly reach the fireplace, you notice how a picture frame sits at the top, depicting a young boy and a girl riding a swing at a park. You could immediately tell how it was Jungkook in that picture, but you had no idea if the young female was his sibling or, perhaps, his past lover, if he ever had one.

Before you could examine further, you heard a little thump from behind you, and you turned to see Jungkook was back with two warm mugs of freshly made hot cocoa topped with whipped cream and marshmallows. He gently placed them onto the round wooden table he had before moving to the fireplace and threw some chopped wood in before lighting it up with the lighter he kept behind his back pocket.

You slowly sit on the couch to make yourself comfortable, take one of the mugs, and sip the freshly made drink. It didn’t take long for Jungkook to join you as he sat on the couch on your left.

“I’d like to think I’m such a great host, don’t you think? I expect you to be writing a five-star review of this Airbnb on booking.com after your stay,” he smugged before bringing his mug to his lips.

“I never knew a biker gang leader like you would have a soft spot for ambience like this.”

“Hey, bikers aren’t all angsty and dark. You’d think I live for the colour black and own everything in that specific colour?”

“Don’t look at me like that. Blame the media for painting you guys exactly the way you are.”

Well, you had a point there. Ever since you met Jungkook, you realised that not all of them seemed as terrible as the public had painted them to be. Even the biker leader is the same as many young adults: desperate to find love and obsessed with shoujo mangas.

As you took another sip of the cocoa, you gulped the liquid down slowly before enjoying your little silence, listening to the crackling sound from the fireplace as you slowly started to feel your eyelids become heavy.

It has been a long day; after all, you started by storming into Seokjin’s office at the beginning of the day, trekking through the woods and finding out about the biker’s hideout, going to Han River and eventually here in Jungkook’s cabin.

From the corners of your eyes, you could see how it would be early morning now—the first tendrils of light painting the sky in hues of a mixture of lavender and indigo, indicating that it would be dawn now. It was probably about five to six in the morning, and that was the last thing you could think of before you eventually fell to your slumber.

It took Jungkook a few seconds to realise you had fallen asleep as he admired the skies from his cabin window just like you were. When he finally turned to look at your head, bending down with your eyes closed, the mug of now warm cocoa still nestled within your grasp.

Jungkook smiled at the sight of you resting comfortably like that. It reminded him so much about her. It almost felt bittersweet then, but Jungkook tried his best to get rid of those feelings before things started to get too deep again.

He slowly got up, gently opened up your fingers surrounding the mug, and took it off your hands to place it on the table. He then swooped his hands around your shoulders and under your legs before picking you up bridal style. Trying his best not to make a noise, he slowly brought you into his only bedroom in the cabin, gently laying you down on the comforts of his bed and tucking you into bed with his cosy duvet.

When he was about to get up from the bed, he felt something wrapping around his pinky before turning to see that it was from you. He couldn’t tell if you had a dream or if it was just by reflex as you wrapped your fingers around his pinky and tugged them close to you.

Jungkook smiled at the sight of you doing so, and he sat down on the bed again, gently caressing your hair as you fell deeper into your dreamland.

Y/N. I promise I will protect you at all costs and avoid making the same mistake as before.

The chirping noises were what woke you up from your slumber. You squint your eyes as you slowly open them to reveal the sunlight shining directly into the cabin. You also heard clanking noises coming beyond the closed doors, and you decided it was time to get up to check out whatever it was.

As you opened the door, your eyes widened, and your jaw dropped as you approached the dining table. It seemed as if Jungkook had made you an entire breakfast meal that looked identical to what you would get from the local diners in town. The man even took the extra step to brew you some hot coffee and placed two little jars filled with white and brown sugar so you could adjust your drink to your desired taste.

You slowly pulled the chair and sat down before Jungkook turned around from the stovetop, placing a freshly made fried sunny-side egg onto your plate, and that was when you took in what Jungkook was wearing before you eventually burst out into laughter.

“What was that about? I went the extra mile to make you breakfast.” Jungkook pouted.

“N-No, it’s not that. I never thought you were a frilly pink floral aprons type of guy.” You had to cover your mouth and fan yourself because you were laughing so hard that breathing was hard by the second.

“You stop it right there. Someone special made this apron; I will not let you disrespect it.” Jungkook was now pointing at you with his spatula, threatening that he would take your breakfast and eat it himself.

As you calmed yourself down and apologised, he finally sat beside you while still sulking because of your comment before and started cutting up his bread and sausages on the plate. When Jungkook saw that you had taken your first bite, he couldn’t help but make a sarcastic remark to lighten the mood once again.

“Hurry up and tell me that my cooking skills are top-notch.” He lifted his head high as if he was already praising himself before you even said anything.

Frankly, it tasted much better than what you had in mind. Who would’ve thought the most feared person in town was also a good cook? The fact that he was able to build this cabin on his own, cared for you, and made you a delicious meal was a bummer that he was still single at this point.

But since you have teased Jungkook since the beginning, there was no way you would tell him that and continue feeding his delusions.

“I’m surprised that I did not puke nor have an upset stomach with the initial first bite, to be honest.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “You ungrateful little brat.”

“Thank you, I’ll take that.” You grinned widely at him, making him return you with disgust.

Surprisingly, breakfast then went by reasonably quickly, and you offered to help clean up the kitchen even when the male insisted that you were his guest and weren’t supposed to do anything while you were there.

After a little bit of squabbling about cleaning the cabin up, Jungkook heads out the front door, signalling for you to come with him.

“There’s this place that I think you’ll love, Y/N. Care to hop on for another ride with me?”

“Jeon Jungkook, give me your keys to your cabin right now I’m officially moving in.”

He giggled as you said that hurriedly before running down to the designated spot he brought you to. As you hopped back onto Jungkook’s bike, he took you along for another drive that only took about five minutes away from his cabin. As you both parked the bike somewhere safe, he guided you to take a step deeper into the woods, where, eventually, you both ended up at a beautiful creek.

A crystal-clear stream burbles along the riverbed, bubbling over the surrounding rocks and branches. There were a couple of stepping stones that scattered across the stream, giving whoever chose to visit to have the opportunity to walk across from one end to the other. A couple of flowers blossomed at the sides of the river, giving the creek a little pop of colour.

It was a sight to behold. Who would have thought that there was such a place near where Jungkook lived? At this point, you swore that you would label this entire outskirt as paradise, and you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your life here, away from the capital's bustling streets.

You slowly made your way to the river, where you stuck one of your hands into the waters, letting the streams of water hit the back of your hand. Jungkook then made his way towards you before bending down to pick up one of the pebbles on the ground, before tossing it across the waters to see it bounce on top of the surface before eventually sinking into the waters.

“Is there anything that you can’t do, Jeon Jungkook?” You asked as you saw how he was a master at skipping stones, way better than most people could do.

“I’ve been doing this for decades, Y/N. Of course, I am the master of stone skipping.” He proudly acclaimed before picking another pebble and tossing it across the waters again.

You couldn’t help but smile at that remark. “So that means you come here often, then?”

“Used to.” He corrected you. “I haven’t been here in a very long time.”

“Well, then, I’m grateful that you decided not to gatekeep such a place from me,” you replied, sincerely thanking the man for taking you out of the cabin to come to such a place to relax.

“You’re going to be staying with me for a while; obviously, I have to keep you occupied before you start complaining out of boredom in the cabin.” He stuck out his tongue at you before tossing another pebble.

“I’m not a kid, Jungkook. I know how to keep myself occupied.” This time, it was your turn to give him a pout.

“I’m gonna bet on 10,000 korean won that you will be screaming out of frustration by the third day if you were stuck all day in that cabin of mine.”

“Then I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I can literally find anything to do to keep myself occupied at all places.” You were now standing up and stood right in front of the man, staring at him as if you were going to start a battle of who would be the first to back down from their words.

Jungkook smirked at that sight, and it turns him on whenever you get all worked up because of his words. He wasn’t going to back down quickly, so he straightened his posture before firing back at you.

“Princess, you better buckle up because you have just turned me on, and I want to ruin your ego right now.”

“Try me then, Jeon Jungkook,” you huffed.

“Say, can you swim?”

You snorted. “Of course I can swim, what the hell—”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Jungkook pushed you on your shoulders, and you fell straight into the waters. It took a few seconds before you eventually returned to the surface, wiping off the excess water dripping down your face.

“Jeon Jungkook! What the actual—”

You were screaming at the top of your lungs, ready to yell and curse your heart out towards the male before you eventually stopped. Your eyes widened at the sight of him taking off his shirt that he was wearing, revealing a well-toned body and rock-solid abs as well as an arm completely filled with tattoos from top to bottom.

He grinned before jumping into the waters and swam right up to you.

“I knew you would like what you saw with your eyes. I have been waiting for the right time to do it anyway,” he smirked before moving his fingers close to you to pinch your cheeks.

You quickly slapped his hands away before turning your back towards him, trying to calm your fast heart beating chest down. Instantly, you felt a surge of warmth slowly crawling up to your ears and cheeks, and you quickly rested both your palms on your cheeks, knowing very well that you were now blushing hard.

What is wrong with you, Y/N?

Before you could even process your thoughts further, you felt a pair of hands resting on your waist before turning your back towards the opposite direction. You have now come face-to-face with the man you were dreading to see, and you quickly turn your head towards the side and face the streaming waters instead.

You could clearly hear Jungkook’s low chuckle before he rested his fingers underneath your chin, gently turning your face back towards his direction.

“I found your weakness, princess.”

“Shut up.”

Your now red-flushed face was making Jungkook laugh while you were slowly losing your mind. All you could think of at the moment was how exactly you would get yourself out of this situation you were in.

Suddenly, you were brought back to reality as you felt Jungkook’s thumb swipe past your lips slowly, his eyes now focusing on your smudged lips as if he was hungry for it, wanting so desperately to press his lips onto them as he slowly leaned down towards them.

Oh no. Oh no.

You started to panic; you had no idea what you were supposed to do. Sure, it wasn’t the first time you kissed Jungkook, but your situation was much more different than the first.

Brace yourselves, Y/N. Just do it.

That was all that you could think of before closing your eyes tightly. It was now or never, and you surely have no escape. As you slowly waited for his warm, plump lips to land on yours again, it never came as you expected. When you slowly opened your eyelids, you saw Jungkook paused exactly an inch before both lips met.

Was he in a dilemma? Whether he should do it or not?

In the end, Jungkook broke off the tension and gave in to wrap his arms around you instead, giving you a tight hug as he rested his head under the crook of your neck.

What was going on?

“J-Jungkook…what are you—”

“Let me just stay like this for a while, Y/N.”

As he took in a couple of seconds to relax his body over yours, you slowly snaked your arms around his back and caressed his back slowly, as if that was the right thing that you thought you could do at the moment.

With your touch, he tugged you tighter before eventually speaking his first words since he turned you around to face him.

“Thank you, Y/N, for trusting me. I promise that I won’t let you down. We’ll catch whoever this mastermind is and place him behind bars for good.”

You felt reassured, knowing that you will be in good hands for now before reuniting with your brother once the cases have been resolved.

“Thank you too, Jungkook, for looking out for me and making me feel safe.”

“You slept in an upright position on the couch throughout the whole night?” You questioned the male, thinking that you might have heard something wrong.

“For the hundredth time, yes I did, Kim Y/N. I have no idea why you are making such a big fuss out of this,” Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck as he closed his eyes in annoyance as if he was tired of going through this whole topic with you again.

“Well then, I suggest we swap for tonight then. It’s not fair that you have to make yourself suffer especially when you’re the owner of this cabin,” you stated clearly.

“Have you ever heard of hospitality, Y/N? There’s no way I’m letting my guests sleep uncomfortably while they’re here. I might get a rotten review on booking.com the next day, that’s for sure.”

However, you weren’t backing down so quickly. “Fine then. Why don't we share the bed for tonight, then?”

That question made Jungkook spit out the glass of water that he was drinking. He had to cough a few times to ensure the liquid flowed smoothly into his throat.

“Are you insane? There’s no way I’m sleeping with someone that’s the opposite sex,” he muttered as he continued to pound his chest while seemingly trying to stop the cough.

“Well unfortunately, I insist. I would drag you onto the bed myself if I had to. It’s not like I’m asking you to try anything funny; if you are, you wouldn’t be seeing the light of day anyways,” you stated clearly before pointing into the bedroom.

Jungkook could only let out a deep sigh before caving into your words, knowing that if you both went on and on about this, the sun would rise before any of you would get a proper good night's rest.

As you both cleaned up and got ready for bed, Jungkook watched as you climbed into the sheets and got yourself comfy before turning towards your left to sleep on your side and face the cabin wall. When he sees that you have stopped squirming, he gently lifts the sheets before doing the same, but facing towards his right so that he is facing the door instead.

It took him a while to fall asleep, unlike you, who fell into a deep slumber within seconds. He was not used to this after all, having to share a bed with someone; it has been a long time since he has done so, especially when the last person he did this was years ago with her.

Additionally, what happened down at the creek earlier in the day? Jungkook had no idea why exactly he decided to do what he did, and eventually, he couldn’t bring himself to plant a kiss on your lips and went in for a hug instead.

Deep down, Jungkook knew something was happening between you two, but he was afraid to commit or even think about the possibilities. After what happened years ago, he promised that he wouldn’t get too close to anyone unless they were the ones who saved his life big time; in this case, it was your brother, Seokjin.

But now, it seems that Seokjin’s little sibling was also slowly marking a spot in that enclosed heart of his.

Before Jungkook could even think of anything further, Jungkook slowly drifted off into his own dreamland and fell into a deep sleep like you did.

Hours had passed, and you both were sleeping peacefully until Jungkook began hearing voices in his head.

Big brother…big brother…please save me… save me from all of this…please don’t let them take me away…

Big brother…Jungkook…JUNGKOOK OPPA!!

Immediately, Jungkook shot up from his deep slumber and broke out in sweats. Sure, it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to get nightmares from the past; it was something he was still working on anyway. But it has been a long time since he had the exact scenario played in his mind; it was a curse to him now.

Jungkook then brought up his fingers to rub his temples, trying his best to calm himself down without waking you, who was still peacefully sleeping on the side.

All of a sudden, Jungkook’s phone lit up from the nightstand, and he grabbed it lazily while rubbing his eyes to adjust his vision so that he could see clearly what exactly the notification that he had just gotten.

It was as if the nightmare wasn’t enough to ruin his night; the notification was far worse than whatever he had just dreamt of.

Something that he dreaded would even occur at all throughout this whole investigation process.

Kim Seokjin: This will be the last time I will be able to contact you for now. Please keep Y/N safe at all costs, and we’ll be in touch as soon as I can.

Seokjin’s POV

It had been two days since you had left the building without Seokjin’s permission. Unfortunately, the meeting lasted way longer than expected, five hours to be exact. Hence, by the time he got back into his dark office where the only source of light was the one ray of moonlight shining through the windows, his heart dropped when he noticed how you were nowhere to be seen.

Frantically, he skimmed through his entire office to see if you had left any clues behind, for the fear that you had been kidnapped, especially since you were considered to be vulnerable in the mastermind’s eyes, and how both Seokjin and Jungkook suspected that it could be someone from the biker gang or the law enforcement themselves.

After minutes of scouring the entire room, he eventually made his way to his cabinet beneath his desk, where he could tell that one of them was pulled open and the little note that he stuck out slightly on purpose every time was gone.

With that, he knew it could only mean one thing: you found the details of Jungkook’s biker gang’s hideout and went there personally to confront the biker leader himself. Swiftly, he took his phone out before hastily sending Jungkook a text.

Kim Seokjin: My sibling is headed towards your biker’s hideout. Please get there and make sure Y/N is safe at all costs.

The moment he saw that Jungkook had read his message, he finally fell back onto his chair, letting out a deep sigh of relief. As much as he was afraid that you had ventured into the predators' lair, he knew that as long as you were with Jungkook, you would be safe from any harm or danger, even if he was the biker gang leader himself.

Hence, while you were under Jungkook’s care for the time being, Seokjin was able to focus on his job and tried cracking all of the clues and codes he had received so far for the missing person’s cases, all while he tried his best maintaining contact with Jungkook to keep each other updated on the case as well as your safety through texting one another.

Things were going fairly smoothly until another missing person’s case was reported to the station just the night before. When he got to the registered location along with his subordinates, his stomach sank when he realised who had gone missing: your neighbour.

Seokjin began to panic as it only meant one thing: there was a high possibility that you would be the next target.

Since that day, Seokjin had worked tirelessly for hours without sleep or proper food. Your life is at stake right now, and he was determined that he was done playing this cat-and-mouse game with the mastermind. With that, Seokjin tried searching for as many clues as possible, even the tiniest detail possible, and he went back to the crime scene himself to thoroughly search through the area once again on his own.

As if it was a miracle, he eventually discovered a strand of hair near one of the flowerpots on your neighbour’s front porch. He quickly took the evidence he had found and ran straight back towards the lab to get the designated ones in charge to do a quick DNA test from the database to find out who it might be.

After hours of extracting the possible information, it had been concluded that it was impossible to narrow it down to a single person as too many chemicals were found on that single strand of hair follicle. But that did not stop Seokjin from finding the exact match for who it might be.

Hence, Seokjin went through all of the case files once again, starting from the first case to the most recent, as he laid all of the details out onto his board in his office, writing down all of the necessary information paired along with red strings to help him connect the dots better. He was also going back and forth towards his desktop located on his desk, trying his best to find the right person from the database.

That was when he realised he had limited access to the station’s database. He had never had such issues before, so why had he been blocked?

At that moment, he knew that his instinct was right and that the law enforcement was hiding something dark from the detectives themselves; perhaps that was why they had an excruciating time trying to gather practically limited information.

Unfortunately for the mastermind who did all of this, Seokjin was actually an expert in computer hacking. Before being promoted to lieutenant, he was a renowned hacker in his division before rising to where he is now. The codes were a little harder to crack, but that doesn't mean it was nearly impossible.

It took Seokjin about ten minutes to finally hack into the actual database, and he wasted no time trying to match the hair follicle to a concrete DNA from the database itself. Once the system concluded that there was a match, he wasted no time clicking the download button to get the information down and reveal who it was.

Sadly, he wasn’t able to record down who it was as one of the detectives came barging into his office, pointing his loaded gun at him. Seokjin was cornered, and he couldn’t do anything before the detective came over to completely shut off his desktop by pulling out the cords. Instantly, he shoved his gun towards Seokjin’s back and guided him out of his office, guiding him to the actual mastermind of this whole crime spree.

Before this happened, Seokjin had typed out a message scheduled to be sent to Jungkook if anything were to happen to him. It turns out his instinct was right, and he was slowly counting down the seconds in his heart before the time was up, and he felt his mobile vibrate in his back pocket, signalling that the message had been sent.

As he stepped into the elevator with the detective, still pointing his gun at his back, he turned around before smiling.

It’s up to you now, Jungkook.

Jungkook’s POV

“Report what exactly you have found so far, lads.”

“Certainly, boss!” The young man cleared his throat before setting up the live footage on the laptop and turning it towards his boss’s directions. “It was pretty faint, but you could see the unknown person in the camera drugging the female worker before bagging her up and dragging her body away and out from the factory.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes as he leaned forward to try his best to make out who was on the screen, but since the crime occurred late at night. There wasn’t enough light penetrating through the facility; it was merely impossible to identify clearly who the hooded criminal was.

But Jungkook wouldn’t give up quickly, so he leaned backwards on his chair before clasping his hands and bringing them close to his face.

“Judging from the victims from the recent cases, it seemed as if they have been targeting this specific factory more often as of late. There has to be a pattern going on here,” Jungkook suggested.

Upon hearing those words from the biker’s leader, the gang member scratched his head before responding. “With that, boss, what are you trying to propose…?”

“I’m saying that they will strike there again, that’s for sure.”

“O-Oh, of course! Well, I will go get the rest of the lads ready—”

“No, you stay put till I give you boys further instructions,” Jungkook firmly decided.

“B-But, boss, what are you planning to do?”

“I’m going to check the place on my own first before letting any of you step in there. I’m not going to risk all of your lives like that.”

The young lad knew how dangerous the whole situation was at hand. Quite frankly, he was one of the lads who often kept Jungkook updated with all of the security footage that was happening around town since he was one of the bikers who had a talent for hacking into all of Seoul’s security systems without having the law enforcement notice his doing, of course.

But he knew that the boss was risking his own life by heading towards the location alone. In the worst-case scenario, Jungkook could even get seriously injured or worse. Furthermore, he knew that Jungkook’s words were absolute, and no one had ever been able to change his mind once he made a decision.

With that, the hacker placed his hands together in front of him, slightly bending his head down before obeying Jungkook’s orders.

“Very well, boss. We will await your next instructions then.”

As Jungkook picked up his speed and rode his bike back to the cabin, the only thing that lingered in his mind was how he would explain the change of plans to you. He would’ve never thought that he might have to intervene and head towards the location himself to gather information this soon, or rather, he was hoping that Seokjin could do it since he was a detective, after all.

But now that Seokjin is out of reach, Jungkook had no choice but to take up the job to prevent anyone, especially his comrades, from getting hurt or potentially losing their lives in that targetted location without getting a green flag from someone higher up first.

Another reason that he was a bit stressed out about the current situation was that it was time for him to talk to you about it; it was time for you both to make a move, and he knew that he couldn’t keep you in the dark forever, as much as he just wanted to tuck you away in this cabin of his and just stayed put and safe there while he and your brother resolved all of this messed up crime spree that was happening in the district.

It was also because that was the exact factory that you worked at. That could only mean that the chances that you may or may not be the next target were higher than they had expected.

After those train of thoughts, he finally arrived back at the cabin, and he tried his best to maintain his composure before turning the doorknob to open up the doors and calling out loud for you.

That was only until you didn’t respond that he began to panic.

“Y/N? Y/N, are you there?”

Jungkook tried his best to maintain his calm while going from room to room, calling out for you. When he had finally searched the entire cabin and that you were nowhere to be found, that was when he felt a sink in his stomach, and he was about to go insane any moment now.

He was now screaming at the top of his lungs for you while running around frantically, even as he stepped out of the cabin and walked down the steps to circle the woods nearby.

“Y/N! Y/N! Please respond to me! Where are you?!”

His heartbeat was pounding much louder and faster with each second, and he was close to shitting his pants at the moment. An instant regret filled his guts, and he wished he could’ve turned by time so that it would’ve knocked some sense into him that he shouldn’t have left you alone in the cabin, especially when both of your lives were at stake.

He wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake as he had done before. There was no way he would let history repeat itself, not under his watch.

Y/N! Y/N! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

Suddenly, he heard a faint grunt from a distance, a little bit towards his left. An unexpected fog clouded the air, making it hard for him to see whoever was slowly coming in his direction.

With his instinct, Jungkook quickly pulled out his handgun that he tucked away beneath his leather jacket, quickly loaded the gun and aimed it towards the shadow approaching him.

Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the shadow emerged from the fog, and that was when he finally made out that it was the person he had been longing to find.

“Jungkook! You’re back!” You smiled while carrying a box filled with freshly picked fruits in your arms.

Jungkook then slowly lowered down the gun and stared at you blankly. To ease the tension and awkwardness, you decided to speak up whatever was on your mind for now.

“O-Oh! Sorry, I know I should’ve stayed put, but like I said, I know how to keep myself occupied. I decided to go for a little walk around, and that’s when I saw this little peach tree growing near the little creak you brought me to the other day. I just so remembered this one peach dessert I used to make when I was a kid, and I thought we could use some desserts—”

Before you could finish your sentence, Jungkook wrapped his arms around you tightly, making you drop the box of fruits towards the ground. You were stunned by his sudden actions as he said nothing, and you could hear him sobbing for once as he buried his neck into the crook of your neck.

Jungkook knew that things were starting to get into his head, and he needed to tell you the truth now, especially with the events that have happened within the past 24 hours, and how he needed to tell you about his recent findings.

And also about the nightmare he had last night.

There was no point in hiding anymore. Eventually, you would have to know anyways.

Y/N’s POV

“You look like a stray rabbit, Mr Jeon,” you teased half-jokingly, but the other half was also concerned about his appearance. It was how he sat across from you, slumped onto his couch, and looked defeated. It was obvious that something had been bothering him, especially when you knew he had a nightmare last night, but you weren’t going to say anything unless he would tell you all about it himself.

But given the current situation, the way he looked for you so frantically, and hell, even aimed a gun at you (not on purpose, of course), something has gone wrong, and you needed to know.

You gently stood up and walked over to sit cross-legged on the ground, gently placing one of your hands onto his that was resting on his thigh, slowly caressing them to help ease the frown on his face.

“Jungkook, talk to me about it. I promise your secrets are safe with me,” you gently reassured him, hoping he would finally speak out about whatever had been hindering his mind since the day before.

With that, he slowly opened his eyes to look down at you; he could tell that you were desperate to get answers, and this time, you wouldn’t take a single loophole in your books. Slowly, he sat back up and leaned forward as he stared at you, giving you his full attention.

“There have been some major updates in the missing person cases, Y/N.”

“Okay, so we’ll go from there—”

“But before that, I think you need to know about my past, especially why I said your brother has given me another chance in life and why I took on this offer in the first place.”

You gulped upon hearing that. It was finally time for you to know precisely what the pact they made behind your back was, and you could finally learn more about Jungkook and your brother's secret life.

“Remember when you walked into my cabin on the first day? You went straight ahead to the fireplace and had a little good look at the picture frame situated above it?”

“Y-Yeah? Was that your childhood friend or something?”

“That was…” He paused for a moment before finishing up his sentence. “My little sister.”

Now, that was something new to you. Nobody has ever heard that the biker gang leader would have a younger sibling or sibling. Most people have assumed that he had only been an only child and was probably abandoned from a young age due to his upbringing and reputation in the district.

But Jungkook was here to tell you the truth and to turn those assumptions down. “Regardless of how the public sees who I am, I had a pretty happy childhood. We were a family of four; our days were filled with happiness as we resided in a small village out of town. It wasn’t until my father received a promotion at his job that he decided to bring all of us up to Seoul, hoping for a better life.”

Jungkook cleared his throat before he continued with his story. “It was a miracle when my father came home one day telling us he was offered a job at the local police station; neither of us could’ve believed it then. It started off simple: he was just an ordinary security guard at the huge facility until he showed his superiors that he was far more capable than that, and he eventually rose to the ranks of becoming an actual detective.”

“In other words, your father was my brother’s senior then,” you added, making Jungkook return to you with a smile.

“Precisely. Years passed, and my sister followed his footsteps, eventually joining the academy and becoming a rookie detective under my father’s supervision. Meanwhile, I’ve decided to stay back and help my mother at her local pastry shop down the road from the station since she needed some assistance anyway. At the same time, I started building this wooden cabin, with the thought of creating a little place where we family could escape to during our free time.”

You scooched closer, and your hands around his tightened slightly, trying to find the right words to ask the main question. “W-What happened then?”

His eyes immediately fell to the floor, and his tone suddenly went down an octave, indicating that whatever he would say next would be pretty heavy to register. “My father was sent abroad on a mission, but he unfortunately lost his life in the line. Upon hearing that, my mother died with a broken heart.”

“Jungkook, my deepest condolences…” you mumbled.

“You want to know what’s even crazier, Y/N? That wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through. It was my sister.”

You could see that his eyes began to water, and he was trying his best to hold back any outburst of emotions that he might have. Naturally, his hands found yours and held them tight, and you return the favour by placing another hand of yours on top of his.

“There’s only a sole purpose for me in joining the biker gang: to keep my family safe.”

“In what way, Jungkook?” You questioned, not really linking on how a biker member could help the detectives when both occupations are the total opposite.

“I’m pretty sure you know by now about how dark and corrupted the crimes in Seoul are behind the scenes, and there are certain places that are off-limits no matter how far up the ranks you are.”

“So that’s when you come in then.”

“Exactly. Even if it’s the smallest thing I can do for them, I would take it.”

“Huh. Very contradicting to your biker image that the public is aware of.”

“Hey, I need to look good for everyone okay. You never know. I’m pretty sure I have a fanbase somewhere in town admiring my good looks,” he smugged while lifting his head up high. You were glad he could still joke around and was still the Jungkook you had known despite all the recent hardships.

“God, I hope your fanbase will have enough to fund themselves. Supporting someone when they do not get anything in return is sad.”

Jungkook was annoyed at your teasing and immediately pinched your cheeks and pulled them slightly. “You take that back, I will have you know that I am one of the most good-looking people the district has ever seen in years.”

“I will have you know that you are wrong because my brother Seokjin is a hundred times better than you!” You spat back while holding his hand, almost breaking your cheeks apart.

The pinching then slowly died down as Jungkook slowly regained his composure. “Speaking about Seokjin, that’s where the next story comes in.”

As Jungkook slowly pulled his hand away, you cupped that side of your cheek with your hands, mentally cursing the guy and saying that you would surely get back to him once this whole storytelling session was over.

“I’m sure you are aware of the infamous case that one of the detectives from the station was the mastermind behind a series of kidnapping cases that happened in our district five years ago?”

Oh, that.

It was one of the cases that truly shook the nation down to its core; who would’ve thought that one of the detectives, especially from the elite squad, would have been monitoring and kidnapping young children around the area? What was more unpleasant about the case was that he had a few subordinates to help fulfill his fantasies, and they so happened to be a handful of the detectives themselves as well; some even used to be close buddies with your brother.

It truly was a traumatising event that happened in your district’s history, and nobody wished such a case would ever happen again.

“Y-Yeah…it was something my brother wished he could erase from his memory for good. It has impacted him in the worst way possible. Frankly, I wouldn’t want to see him go through such times ever again,” you commented.

“Well, Y/N. I feel the same way, too. Just like how badly it has played a part in your brother’s life, it also did for me.”

“How exactly did you even drag yourself into the situation?”

He sighed. “Not by my own will, Y/N. It was because of my sister,” he squeezed your hands, and he chose his words carefully next, perhaps needing a bit of your strength to finally touch on the topic he has been avoiding for the longest time.

“My sister was part of the cold case squad at the time, and it just so happened that she was the only female detective in the team. She would work tirelessly day and night, trying her best to dig through each possible available data, even the ones that were off-limits to most detectives. Little did she know that the mastermind himself was closely monitoring every movement that she had made, and she became a victim herself.”

“Jungkook…” you slowly caressed his hand, wanting to take him into your embrace right now.

“Fast forward to the day when she finally emerged from the shadows, Seokjin and I found ourselves in a standoff against the mastermind, holding my sister hostage on the rooftops of the police station. And god, Y/N. No words could describe how I felt the moment I laid my eyes upon my sister then, of how dishevelled and disoriented she had become.”

A single tear drop fell from the corners of his eyes unto your hands, and your heart broke at that sight. Jungkook had always portrayed how tough he was as if nothing in this world could ruin him to the point of breaking down, at least not in front of someone. He must’ve carried on this trauma for a long time, one that would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life.

“Your brother did not have the guts to shoot at his supervisor, so I did the favour for him instead. The bullet penetrated through his skull, and it was an instant death for him. My sister then lay on the ground, screaming at the top of her lungs, pushing and kicking everyone that came close to her. Not even I could do anything to help save her then,” he sobbed and choked on his own words.

“So, my brother came to your rescue then?” You quietly asked.

He sniffled. “He did. Killing a police officer is a huge crime, and naturally, I was placed behind bars. But your brother fought relentlessly, and I was pardoned and eventually released from prison.”

“That’s my brother for you.” You smiled, thankful he was still the same brother you had grown to love and admire despite the recent events between you two.

“But it came with a price, Y/N.”

“And what was it?”

“In return for getting me out of prison, Seokjin would take my sister’s wellbeing into his own hands. So he placed her under a facility that would care and possibly help her recover, but I was not to know about the location and to ever meet with her ever again.”

Your heart sank upon hearing that. It would kill you to know that you have to be separated from your sibling for good, and you don’t think you could ever live the same way as you’ve done before knowing that.

Immediately, you jumped into Jungkook’s arms, giving him a tight embrace while tears streamed down your face.

“I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry that we detectives have failed you. We should’ve been the ones protecting the civilians, not breaking them apart physically and mentally.” You sunk your cheek into his neck; you wished there was something that you could’ve done to ease his pain or even bring his only happiness back to him.

Jungkook said nothing but return the embrace to you. He did the same by resting his chin upon your shoulders, slowly moving to the point you felt his lips slightly brushed against your neck as he took in all of your scent.

Neither of you said anything for at least a good ten minutes, and you both were fine staying that way. You knew that it had taken a massive leap of faith for Jungkook to address his biggest and darkest nightmare finally, and you were grateful that he had decided to trust you enough to talk to you about all of this.

Eventually, you found yourselves both snuggled on the couch, just admiring the fireplace while cuddling one another. Jungkook lay gently on your chest while you constantly ran your fingers through his soft black hair, making him slowly drift off into dreamland. It was obvious that Jungkook hadn’t had the best of sleep lately because he easily slept within your arms for a couple of hours, not to be awakened so easily.

And that was fine by you. You have begun to feel that you both were more than just acquaintances. However, you weren’t sure if Jungkook returned the same feelings for you, but your subconsciousness tells you that whatever happened back at the creek, he must’ve felt something, too. It doesn’t matter if it was the same way as you did; you were more than glad that you had found a place within him.

As you slowly admired his sleeping face, you were now more than determined to put an end to this nightmare the district had been struggling with for months.

This time, let me return the favour, Jungkook.

The strong wind was constantly hitting your face as you grabbed Jungkook tightly while he sped on his bike. It had been a few days since, and you finally had Jungkook to fill you in with the latest news he had when he finally regained himself.

To say that you were beyond shock was an understatement when you found out that the mastermind was targeting the young ladies at the factory you worked at, and that was how Kisa disappeared and became a pawn in their twisted games.

But that also meant one thing: you’re the next target, and they have had their eyes on you for a while now.

You were terrified, that was for sure, but you decided that you wouldn’t tell them to do as they please anymore. As long as you both stick together, you know that you will crack the case open and put a stop to this spree of kidnappings.

It’s all for the victims and Seokjin.

Even for you, Jeon Jungkook.

As you finally made your way towards the factory, you quickly armed yourselves before stepping into the facility, all while Jungkook held you close next to him.

It was eerily quiet, and no sign of a human being was in sight. It was unusual how abnormal the whole situation felt; it was as if the entire building had been abandoned.

Or was it?

In the distance, you quietly alerted Jungkook of how a faint light had caught your attention, and you could tell it had led to the systems room. Someone was in there, and you have a good guess that they might have been using the building to communicate for a while now.

Giving each other a nod, you both slowly crept towards the room; that was when you felt a metal object pressed onto your skull. You finally came to a halt while Jungkook slowly disappeared down the hallway, not noticing that you had left his side.

“Now that’s a good little kitten, don’t you think? You have saved me the trouble of looking for you, Kim Y/N.”

God, he knew your name.

You chuckled. “What do you want from us? What do you possibly gain from kidnapping these young ladies?”

“Oh sweetheart, don’t you know that money is everything in this day and age? Given how we have lived in poverty for so long, it wouldn’t hurt to earn that extra cash and big bucks, no matter how dangerous the situation can be, don’t you think?”

“You have no sense of morals, then. Treating these young ladies as objects and pawns to your games,” you fired back.

The man then slowly pushed the metal object that was situated on your skull further deeper as he slowly loaded it, to which you knew that you were now held at gunpoint.

“Now sweetheart, let me tell you a little something about us. We are predators, and we hunt for prey like you.”

Now, this seems awfully familiar.

“I’m afraid that once predators have gotten our eyes on a target, we will not let them go that easily. We are slowly going to devour you up, leaving no traces behind. If you think you could stop us, then I’m afraid you’re wrong, princess. We’re experts in our field of work; we are not to be found that easily even if you were the best of the best detectives in town because that is our nature.”

That phrase, it’s similar to Jungkook’s—

“Never in a million years would I have known that you’ve stooped so low, Seunghak.”

That voice!

Immediately, the both of you noticed how a badly beaten up individual was thrown in front of you, and your eyes widened upon what you have seen. Slowly, an individual emerged from the shadows, and it was Jungkook, walking towards you both while aiming the gun at the person behind you.

“Why, hello, dear boss. Or should I say, former boss,” he taunted, smacking his lips as if things had just gotten far more interesting now.

“Damn, Seunghak. I didn’t know you were the type to switch lanes that quickly. It seems like the biker life wasn’t good enough for you, then,” Jungkook smiled dauntingly, and you gulped upon that sight. He was back to being the biker gang leader that the entire district was afraid of; you could even tell how the man behind you flinched a little as he began to shiver slightly with the gun still placed on your skull.

“Can you blame me, though? When you get a plate full of gold in front of you, I’ll do whatever it takes if that means I will have more than enough to spend the rest of my life at ease,” he fired back while beginning to laugh menacingly.

“Besides, what do we do with these ladies in captivity? Oh god, I have been having the best of my life rather than being stuck in the biker's den.”

Instantly, Jungkook's face darkened upon hearing what Seunghak said, and you could feel as if he was shooting daggers through his eyes at his former comrade.

“You are absolutely sick in the head.”

“And what if I am? I am living the best life possible, and there’s nothing you can do to convince me to return!” He screamed before pushing the gun to the point that you felt that the metal was going to pierce through your skull any moment now.

Slowly, Jungkook started taking a few steps closer while he elicited a low chuckle. “You think you have a place left in my biker gang? You are much better off dead rather than coming back, Seunghak.”

Immediately, a loud clatter was heard coming from both sides, accompanied by a volume of grunts, before the male began panicking.

“W-What’s going on?”

Finally, Jungkook stopped right merely inched away from you both, and he aimed the gun towards his former comrade’s face.

“If you think I’ve come unprepared, then that means you are a hundred years too early even to accept the dirty ass pot of gold that was placed so easily in front of your plate.”

Instantly, Jungkook pulled the trigger, and the bullet penetrated the man’s abdomen, causing him to let out an ear-splitting scream as he tumbled and fell onto the ground, pressing onto his wound to ease the bleeding.

Unfortunately, Jungkook wasn’t going to let him off so quickly, as he fired another bullet into his arms, causing the male to lay down helplessly. At the same time, Jungkook hovered above him, resting his gun upon Seunghak’s cheeks.

“You’re going to be a dear and tell me who exactly employed you and your boys before I shoot another bullet into your skull, which would kill you off instantly, young man.”

It seemed that the male wouldn’t give up easily as he spat back onto Jungkook’s face.

“As if I would tell you easily who is the mastermind behind all of this…no matter what happens to us…not of us are going to tell a single soul about it…our lips are sealed shut—”

A loud bang was heard throughout the entire facility, and you slowly opened your eyes to see that the male was long gone now, having a bullet penetrated his skull.

Jungkook slowly got up from the male, dusting his knees while he was at it.

“You scumbags have no reason to live in this world then.”

As he turned to face you again, you couldn’t help but slowly take a few steps back, as if you weren’t sure if you would want to deal with the current state Jungkook was in. Sure, you trusted him, but it was truly the first time you had seen him like this.

Far worse than how he confronted you back at his base.

This was the true so-called “devil” that people were terrified of, and this was what Jungkook was truly capable of.

Jungkook didn’t say a word as he walked towards you before muttering a few words.

“Let’s get going and continue to search the place for clues.”

“O-Okay…” you replied.

As you both made your way down past the hallways, Jungkook occasionally stopped giving his subordinates further orders or even asking about the current situation throughout the facility. He had given them instructions way beforehand, and the whole place was now under the bikers' control.

Since you knew it probably wouldn’t be a good time to disturb nor provoke Jungkook in his current state, you figured it would’ve been a good time to check out the control room situated just a little bit towards your right.

You slowly turned your head to see that Jungkook was engaged in the conversation before you slowly crept away and headed straight towards the room while leaving the door open so that that was an indirect way of letting him know that you were here and doing fine on your own.

You quickly took in the sight upon you as you took in the dozens of computer screens that hovered above you and how multiple files and USB drives were plugged into the systems, meaning that whoever was here before had been lurking in this place for a while.

Since your brother was an expert hacker, you naturally followed his footsteps as you got him to teach you all about computers when you were young. In other words, you could consider yourself a little computer geek, and you knew your way around the codes and the systems.

As you sat down on the chair and began typing away, you could easily hack into the system to find out the dozens of confidential information stored there. Sure enough, you were able to dig through the files and find valuable information about the kidnappings—who the victims were, their way of communication to pass around information, and who was the sole mastermind that commanded Seunghak and his team.

However, it seemed that it wouldn’t be as easy to determine who exactly was the accurate mastermind as they used an untraceable ID and alias; or rather, they actually communicated through ciphertexts.

You mentally cursed at yourself for not taking an interest in this particular method of communication back then when your brother taught you briefly. You have always brushed it off, saying you were not made to understand this specific method and always preferred a more accessible way out.

You were then back to square one again. To find out who was behind that so-called alias and ID, you needed to crack the algorithm and ciphertext to move on.

Just as all hope is lost, a new message suddenly appears on the screen, and you squint your eyes as you try to read what exactly it holds. When you finally understood what was written, your eyes widened, leaving you stunned for a minute.

This…this is—

“Y/N!!! GET OUT OF THERE!!!”

Before you were able to make sense of the whole situation, Jungkook immediately jumped in front of you before you eventually heard a gunshot resonate in the air and eventually a siren followed as you tried your best to catch hold of Jungkook in your arms, followed by a swarm of bikers filling the control room.

Jungkook had no idea how long he had been passed out since then, and he was slowly trying his best to open up his eyelids tightly glued shut together as the light shone through his vision.

When he finally did, he realised that he was back in this cabin and was lying down on the couch he tried his best to sit up before he felt an excruciating pain that sent shockwaves throughout his whole body.

“I wouldn’t move if I were you.”

Jungkook jerked his head to the side to see that you had returned with a first aid box and a bowl of water with a cloth draped before you slowly sat on the couch with him. You took the fabric into your hands before dipping it into the bowl of water, squeezing off the excess liquid before you started wiping off any dirt or blood that was left on his bare chest.

Neither of you said a word, or rather, none of you knew the right words to say at the moment. Jungkook noticed how red and puffy your eyes were, and he knew immediately that you must’ve been crying for god knows how long.

He definitely felt partly guilty for that, but another part of him didn’t know why he did just that, jumping in front of you to save you from the henchmen instead of taking him out with his gun from behind.

His thoughts were a mess; he no longer knew what he felt. As he quietly observed the way you took care of him, his heart began to ache, and he couldn’t help but gently place one of his hands on your cheeks, rubbing the little area where he saw that there was a slit mark; you probably have gotten injured yourself while he was out.

That gesture stopped you as you lifted your head to look at him straight in the eyes. Unlike back at the factory, his eyes were filled with mystery again, not the dark, scary one he portrayed as the biker’s gang leader. It felt as if the scene back during the creak was repeating itself.

“J-Jungkook…I…” you stammered before you eventually felt his soft lips against yours.

The kiss was gentle and bittersweet, and Jungkook did not hesitate to slowly move his lips against yours, showering you with plenty of kisses and savouring the taste of your lips. Your body immediately shut down from that, and you finally eased yourself to return the favour, moving yours against his as you both kissed each other breathlessly.

His kiss sent shockwaves to your entire body, making you want this moment to last for as long as possible. He gently lifted your face slightly with the hand resting on your cheek, intending to kiss you deeper. That was when you decided to close your eyes and let him take full control of the situation.

As you both finally broke apart to take a few deep breaths, Jungkook rested his forehead against yours, just like he did before at the creak.

It was time, you figured, to finally ask him what you both truly are.

“Jungkook…what…what made you finally do it?” You panted.

He paused briefly before giving you an answer you did not expect. “Do I have you say more than that? I’m pretty sure it’s what you have in mind, Y/N.”

You were now trying your best to hold back the tears forming at the corners of your eyes. “W-What made you finally feel that way, Jungkook?”

“I…I don’t even know myself, Y/N. In the beginning, I’ve only seen you as a younger sibling that I would protect at all costs because I do not want to repeat the same mistake as I have done to my biological sister. But as we spent more time together, there was just something that I felt within me that made me realise that maybe you’re more than just a sibling to me n5ow.”

Jungkook gently lifted your head once more before giving you a little peck on the lips again. “One thing is for sure now: I would protect you at all costs, even if it means I must sacrifice myself. I’m not doing this as a favour to your brother anymore; I’m doing this because you mean a lot to me.”

With those words, you couldn’t help but smile for the first time in a while before responding to the man himself. “Well, you’re going to have to do a lot of explaining to my brother, then.”

“Yeah. Frankly, I hate the thought of having to go through that phase. But if it’s you, I’d do anything to get that approval from Mr Kim himself.” He winked.

“Ew. Gross.”

“Admit it, you like the thought of us being together and a thing in the near future.”

“You better hold your horses before I shove this fabric down your throat.”

“Wow, aren’t you a scary one?”

You both broke into laughter with that conversation. It has been a while since you both have bickered like that, and you missed this mischievous side of him.

“Well, mister. We’ll have to wait a couple of days for you to be completed healed before we hit the road again.” You announced as you finally stood up from the couch.

“Give me a day to rest up, and then we’ll leave.”

“Jeon Jungkook, there’s no way you’re healing up within a day with that bullet wound in your abdomen.”

“If I say one day, it means one day,” he deadpanned.

“You can’t be serious,” you argued back.

“One day.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

You sighed. “We will determine that after 24 hours, then.”

Jungkook smiled as he laid back down on the couch. “Well, now that’s settled, we could go through the strategy planning tomorrow. For now, I think it’s time for us to get into bed together—”

“You’re not touching me in my sleep.”

“Oh come on, we kissed, so what’s the matter?” He pouted.

“We’re not at that stage yet.”

“Pretty please with a cherry on top?” He begged.

“Absolutely not.”

Miraculously, it took only a day for Jungkook to be entirely healed as he drove down the streets, heading back to the capital. You swore that this man was built differently from all of you, and he was a monster at that, able to heal so quickly with a wound that would typically take at least a week or two.

He was definitely feeling a lot better after a good night's rest, and you guided him into the fireplace before telling him the details you had found back in the systems room. Jungkook’s eyes widened as he heard about your findings, and never would he have thought that you both would be able to receive that critical information to finally pinpoint who was the exact mastermind behind all of this.

After hearing your thoughts and suggestions, the both of you quickly took off to one of his nearest hideouts, where he would often meet up with his closer subordinates to inform them about the current plan. After a whole night of planning, all of you were now on the road heading back into the city.

When you finally catch a glimpse of the police station from afar, bittersweet feelings immediately form within you as you know that there would be the last destination to be able to crack the cold case open. You hope that Seokjin is somewhere hidden within the facility since you last saw him.

As all the bikes began pulling up nearby, Jungkook gave the lads further instructions on infiltrating the building without being detected by the guards. Their mission was to find out where exactly the victims were kept away and to avoid conflict with any detectives that came their way.

Based on the information you found at the factory, you insisted that it would be best to confront the mastermind since you have gotten a pretty good hunch on who they are and where they might be residing too. But Jungkook insisted that he was going to stay close to you as much as he could, and he was not going to risk your life once more.

It took a bit of convincing back and forth, but you finally managed to persuade him to stay nearby but undetected, fearing that the mastermind might flee if they had a sense that you did not come alone to meet them.

So here you were, pressing the exact button that would eventually lead you to the top floor of the building, staring straight into the screen above the lift that indicated that you were slowly going up each second. Your hands began shaking against your own will, fearing that you were finally going to meet your worst nightmare, one that has kept you awake and separated from your own family and friends for weeks.

As you shut your eyes to take a deep breath, you were instantly cut off from your train of thoughts when you felt someone grab onto your hands and intertwine their fingers with yours. When you opened your eyes and turned your head to the side, you could see that Jungkook was just as nervous as you were, linking his hands with yours.

It must’ve been hard for Jungkook as well; he was also dealing with his struggles when he was with you. But he has never failed to let it get to them to the point that it made him lose all hope and sanity. Perhaps it must have been fate that you were there with him, and you were able to give him a bit of strength and company to deal with all of this.

Your grip tightened against his, and you looked into his eyes. “Jungkook…”

“It’ll be over soon, Y/N. I’m sure of it. No civilians should ever experience this nightmare ever again. We’re going to break the chain of history and not let it repeat itself once again,” Jungkook said confidently, and he was determined that it was time to make a change in Seoul’s dark history of crimes and corruption.

As the doors to the lift opened, you slowly stepped out of the lift and let go of Jungkook’s grip and looked at him once more before walking to where you were supposed to be headed. For the last time, you both communicated by looking into each other’s eyes; Jungkook promised you that he would be nearby and that you didn’t have to worry as he would keep you safe.

With a nod from you, the doors to the lift eventually began to close, and you constantly kept your eyes glued on Jungkook before the doors were glued shut.

Turning your heel towards the opposite direction, you slowly walked along the corridors, passing by multiple rooms before reaching the one at the furthest end. You read the door sign carefully before confirming that you were at the right place.

Slowly, you lifted up your hands to gently knock on the door before it slowly opened on its own. With a gulp, you stepped in and peered your head through the room. It was dark, and the only light shining into the room was the moonlight from the windows.

When you were fully physically in the room, the doors behind you suddenly slammed shut again, sending a sense of nervousness throughout your entire body. You had to remind yourself constantly that as long as you can get through this last spurt, everything will finally be revealed, and it will be a chapter closed.

You could sense that you weren’t alone in this room and that someone was lurking in the shadows. Taking this as your chance to confront them, you finally gathered the courage to speak up to whoever was in here with you.

“It seems that your time of reign has abruptly ended. It wasn’t easy trying to track you down for months; given your position, it must’ve been really easy to get hold of the young ladies into your care. You surely are a brave individual who was willing to take the risk,” you announced aloud but were again met with silence.

But you didn’t come here to give up quickly, so you decided to press on. “Say, haven’t you stooped down so low, using your detective position to claim these young women for your benefit? Wasn’t your wife good enough for you? Why resort to kidnapping and eventually trafficking these young ladies for your good?”

Come on, Y/N. Just a little bit more.

“You even went to seek help from the biker gang. Are you that desperate? Especially when you have sworn that you hate them to the core and would never associate with the likes of them.”

“Don’t you think so, Uncle Kim?”

With that last sentence, the room felt much more silent than it already was before you eventually heard footsteps coming before you, finally revealing to the man that you have been trying your best to get him out of the shadows.

“I’m beyond impressed, Y/N. You are just as smart as your brother; you could easily pull off as a detective for the station.”

It has been a while since you have seen your uncle. He was the deputy chief of the Seoul Metropolitan Police Department and was often away to deal with heavy and pressing matters requiring him to stay stuck in this office all day or even fly out of the country to do so.

He also took your brother in and gave him a chance as a detective after seeing his extraordinary talent with computers and hacking. After your parents passed, he was the one who has been raising you both just as his children, and he was finally able to let loose a bit once you both entered adulthood.

He often visits during celebrations as much as he can despite his busy schedule, and you both have always admired him for what he has done to serve the country. He was considered the nation’s hero, after all.

But it seems that not all good things last for long, especially when you receive that concrete evidence and message back in the systems room from your very own brother, revealing who the mastermind is.

Why exactly did he choose to do all of this? Your very own uncle, the nation’s hero, to be behind all of the kidnappings that have happened for the past several months. It would be impossible to convince the public that this was the reality that everyone has been living in; that is why it is up to you now to publicly reveal and gain concrete evidence to stop his spree of crimes.

“My dear little Y/N, how exactly did you even crack the code? I was certain that you couldn’t decrypt ciphertexts.”

So, that was why he used it as a primary method of communicating with the bikers.

“Well, I’m afraid you have made a fatal mistake. I may not be able to read ciphertexts, but I sure can read morse code.”

“What?”

You chuckled. “You may have kept my brother hidden away somewhere, but so long as he is within the facility and was one of the top hackers in the station, he would certainly find a way to hack through the systems throughout the district and even out of town, keeping in a close contact with us.”

“Just as expected from my niece, I shouldn’t have underestimated what you both were capable of,” he laughed.

Unbeknownst to you, you eventually balled your fists up, and you were on the verge of wanting to throw a punch straight into his face despite being family by blood. However, you tried your best to hold yourself back, you have to get concrete evidence first and foremost.

“Why, Uncle Kim? Why would a successful detective like you do such a thing? Why live a double life?” You asked and pleaded a little to see if he had any sense of remorse left in him.

But your efforts were wasted.

“Oh, Y/N. You have no idea how cruel our world can truly be. It doesn’t matter how high your status can be; the city of Seoul will forever remain dark and corrupt behind the scenes, whether you like it or not. In this world that we will live in, it’s like a tug-of-war, Y/N. If you don’t take a step further, then the younger and weaklings will eventually catch up, and we don’t want that to happen, do we?”

Your uncle then stepped closer to you and began slowly circling around you.

“There are only two groups of people in the world; either you choose to be strong or stay behind with the weak. It’s a cruel world that we live in, Y/N. When the opportunity comes, take it even if there’s the slightest opening to becoming the strong elite. Take it and do not spare a glance back, even if it means you must ditch your old life behind. You might even need to sacrifice some things or people to realise those goals.”

“B-But that doesn’t imply why you would turn to crime to achieve those goals, Uncle Kim,” you commented.

He sighed. “I’m afraid you are still too young to realise it then. Those girls should be lucky that they are still alive. I haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.”

Your blood was now boiling, and you were on the verge of genuinely slapping or hitting some sense into your uncle, even though you knew that it would probably be effortless. You just needed to hurt him, make him suffer for all that he has done to all of those young women, even to your friend, Kisa.

Before you finally shut your eyes, you had to ask him one last question before you were going to reach behind your back pocket for the knife that you had stored away.

“Let me then ask you this, Uncle Kim. What happened five years ago when a detective was responsible for kidnapping young children across the district. Was that your doing as well?”

In your gut, you already knew what the actual answer would be. But at least you still needed to hear it directly from his mouth.

“Ah, Minhwan? It was truly a tragedy that he lost his life easily then. He was just a step closer to kidnapping his tenth victim.”

God, you felt sick to the stomach. He truly was a heartless individual; all of the years of putting up a favourable face in front of his family eventually broke down, revealing who he truly is in front of you now.

You couldn’t care less if he was your uncle anymore; all you knew was that he was going to hell, and you so desperately wanted to end his life here and then—

“So it was you who made my sister suffer the way she did.”

That voice! Jungkook!

You quickly jerked your head behind to see that Jungkook was now aiming his gun directly at your uncle, but before you could even process further, you were immediately pulled into your uncle’s embrace. He immediately took out his gun from his holster and rested it on your temple.

“My, if it isn’t the biker gang leader himself! You surely have grown since the last time I’ve seen you.”

“Never in a million years would I have thought that the chief detective would have been monitoring and guiding the underworld for several years. It would surely be a huge hit in the newspapers and eventually across the globe,” Jungkook taunted.

“That would be nice, but I’m afraid you both won’t live through the next sunrise to see it happen because I will be eliminating you both right here and now, starting with Y/N,” he pushed the gun further to the point that it began to hurt. You could tell that one wrong move from either of you would result in a bullet within the two of you.

You both have to think quickly and strategically before executing the next move.

“What makes you think you can outsmart me, young man? You’re from the biker gang, for goodness sake!” Your uncle began raising his voice and was now engaged in the conversation with Jungkook.

That was when you looked into Jungkook’s eyes, and you could tell he was trying to tell you something.

It was as if he meant…

Trust me, Y/N.

“It is because I’m the biker gang’s leader, Mr Chief. Hence, I can and will outsmart you here right now.”

With that one last word, Jungkook loaded his gun and pulled the trigger, aiming straight at your legs. The bullet barely grazed through your skin, and you immediately fell onto your knees, which made your uncle stunned.

“Hey! Hey! Y/N! Get up! Get up now!”

In the midst of his panic, Jungkook quickly stepped in and took his hand onto his back before propelling his body forward, slamming him onto the ground. He quickly used his knee to keep him in place. He used his hands to push the chief’s head to the ground while the other held both hands towards his back.

“Y-You think you’re going to get away with this? You’re a hundred years too fast…” the chief grunted.

“Actually, I think you might as well start digging your grave now, dear uncle.”

Immediately, all of you looked towards the front door entrance where the voice was coming from, and your eyes widened upon who you had just seen.

“Seokjin!!!” You screamed out loud; tears might even start falling from the corners of your eyes.

“Hello, uncle. Missed me?”

“H-How did you get out from there? There’s absolutely no way—”

“Well, I have my ways. And unfortunately for you, I hacked into the station system, so your computer right there on your desk was recording everything that you said towards both my sibling and the biker gang’s leader; I may have also shared the recording with the local radio stations, so everyone heard it live and in real timing too,” Seokjin announced as he was twirling the USB drive in his hands.

“Why you little scumbag!!” He screamed before Jungkook gathered his strength to push him down again.

“I think the scumbag here is you, dear uncle. I’m sure the FBI would be delighted to interrogate the heck out of you and give you the rightful punishment you need.”

“What? The FBI?” He questioned.

“You actually think I came here unprepared? The FBI has officially raided the entire building, taking the hostages to safety and caught your little gremlins, escorting them to prison at this very moment as we speak.”

Seokjin took a few steps closer before eventually bending down to face his uncle.

“I’m sorry, but your reign of terror ends here and now.”

It had been a year since that fateful incident. Getting things back to normal surely took a lot of time and effort.

Thanks to Seokjin and the FBI, they have taken your uncle away and placed him behind bars, even at a high security one at that. Throughout the gruelling interrogation that they have had, it seems that your uncle was part of more twisted crimes than what the public was aware of, and he was sentenced to life imprisonment at that, with no chance of parole.

As for the victims, they were all returned safely to their own families after recovering at the hospital for a while. Thanks to the staff's generosity, the victims were given more than enough care and treatment for them to eventually return to their usual selves.

The Seoul Metropolitan Police Department needed some time to regain the public's trust. To tackle that issue, the officials elected your brother Jacob to take over the chief position and oversee the whole process of rebuilding the entire police department. It definitely wasn’t an easy task and was undoubtedly a huge burden for Seokjin, but he did not complain and rather took on the role easily.

The factory that you used to work in was abolished as the police themselves continued to dig through more uncovered dark secrets that lay below the factory grounds. For the safety and well-being of the public, all authorities have agreed that it would be best to tear the place down, leaving behind a chapter.

But that did not mean that all workers there met a bad fate. Through the help from the public and the authorities, everyone was given a chance to work at a much better and safer workplace.

As weeks passed, you scored through all your exams and eventually graduated from university. You were now on the road to becoming a full-fledged journalist, currently undergoing probation under the famous company The Seoul Daily Magazine. You have been enjoying your time here, meeting amazing colleagues and having a healthier work-life balance.

As for Jungkook, he decided to return to his biker gang, further leading the upcoming lads to take over the higher positions within their hierarchy. However, it was thanks to the latest kidnapping cases that the public realised that the bikers themselves weren’t rebellious nor posed a threat to society. They have begun to put their trust in the bikers themselves, and they would often be seen hanging out together in town daily.

Seokjin has granted a special position for Jungkook in the police department, encouraging the male to join forces as their previous one worked out splendidly. According to your brother, Jungkook just smiled and turned down the offer, saying that the bikers are one big family and would stick by them until the end.

You smiled as you remembered all of those moments of how Jungkook had always shared about his lads from the gang, and naturally, you decided to visit them often whenever you got to hop onto Jungkook’s bike; you both were finally a couple now anyway.

It wasn’t until the digital clock that was situated right on your table started to go off that you realised that it was finally time for you to get off work. You quickly jumped up from your chair, giving yourself a little stretch before packing your things away hurriedly.

“Oh, someone’s leaving early today, huh?” One of your co-workers peeked through your cubicle and teased.

“Someone’s got a dinner date tonight, a very romantic one at that, too,” another one chimed in.

“It’s nothing, you guys, we’re just having a normal dinner,” you reassured, but clearly your co-workers didn’t believe you in the slightest bit.

“I bet they’re going to finally do it tonight.”

“What?! How can you say that?! I bet they’re going to propose instead.”

“Nothing is going to happen, okay? Now, I’m off. I’ll see you next Monday!”

You quickly clocked out before running down the steps down to the lobby. You were too excited and couldn’t wait for the elevator to reach your floor. Once you finally saw your boyfriend leaning against one of the pillars outside your company, you quickly dashed towards the automatic doors before finally stopping right in front of him.

He was in his usual black leather jacket and cargo pants, but his hair was much longer now, so it covered his eyes if he decided not to part them. But you loved this new look on him, much better when his hair was shorter a year ago.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?”

“Hmph, don’t get too full of yourself. You barely did just the minimum,” you commented before linking your arms with his as you both walked towards the restaurant that Jungkook had booked for the night.

“Come on, I styled myself just for tonight. You might as well give me some compliments,” he whined.

“I’ll consider it if you order something that I have been craving to eat for a while,” you stuck your tongue out at him.

“How should I know what you’re craving for the day?”

“You’re the boyfriend; you should’ve done your research.”

“Mean.”

“I spit the facts.”

You both burst out into laughter after that; you truly enjoyed every moment with this guy, even if you were just bickering over the tiniest detail possible. It was when you both went silent for a while, admiring the Christmas lights and decorations that lit up the entire city. You both finally stopped at the huge Christmas tree in the middle of town, admiring its beauty for a while before heading to the restaurant just a little bit behind the decor.

“Say, didn’t you mention that I would be your biggest mistake when I first picked you up back at the factory?”

“Oh…that.”

“Yeah, that. What am I to you now, princess?” He looked at you with pleading eyes; he was back at trying to get your compliments since he failed the last one.

You sighed before tilting your head towards his direction before planting a soft peck on his lips.

“You were the best mistake that has ever happened to me.”

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just4koo · 1 year ago

Note

Hii! How are you doing? Can you please write hurt to comfort with Jungkook, when he walks out to cool off after an argument and Y/n thinks he left her? :)

i'm doing well, i hope you are too! i kinda got carried away on this request and wrote a lott of angst haha... (it hurt my heart)

never go to sleep angry - jjk.

summary: one of the most important rules of your relationship was to never go to sleep angry. when the rule was ignored, it led to an argument and a huge misunderstanding.

word count: 5.0k

genre/warnings: established relationship, a lot of angst, comfort, misinterpreting words, argument between them, y/n feels really shitty, mutual confusion, cute ending though

-- ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ --

There was one rule that you and Jungkook always had set up in your relationship. It was one of the reasons that you two were able to stay together for so long. How you had gotten through so many tough times, arguments, and disagreements. One thing that you two agreed on for the past 4 years you had been together.

Never go to sleep angry.

Even though it seems like something that may not matter too much, it had always worked for you two. Being in a relationship meant disagreeing on things. Relationships could be hard, but loving Jungkook was always easy. He made all of the hard times worth it. There weren't many things the two of you fully argued about because of this one rule. Communication was key in your relationship, and the two of you were always able to deescalate the situations so they wouldn't blow up.

It was the rule until now, it seemed.

If you had realized the way that you were making your boyfriend feel, it could've turned out so different. He hadn't spoke up about it because he knew how stressed you were. Later hours at a job meant that you didn't have time for the things you used to. After covid wiped through the world, your company had taken a huge hit. Budget cuts meant people being laid off of their jobs, and the ones that weren't fired got their work loads doubled, or even tripled.

Your job was a work at home -- returning late from work hadn't been the problem. Even if it was, Jungkook knew. He understood how consuming work could be, but he had been working crazy hours everyday since he was 13. He knew how his schedule worked and how to arrange things to make time between the two of you. This workload was new for you, and so he didn't get angry when you were stuck to your laptop for hours after your scheduled workday ended.

It was more of the way you dealt with the stress that got to him. Being stressed meant that you had been getting more irritable. If he tried talking to you when you were working, he was met with a dry "mhm" or a short look that told him you weren't interested. If he tried actually getting your attention, he would just receive snippy answers. He was trying to be understanding, but that also meant ignoring the most important rule of your relationship. Just like you tried to prevent, everything blew up.

"I've just been stressed out, Jungkook! I thought you said you understood!" You shouted at your boyfriend. What had turned into a simple conversation about him asking if you could spend your free day going on a date for the first time in a couple months had turned into this argument. You wanted to take the single free day off to rest your fingers from typing until your fingers locked up, he finally felt the festering irritation out, and it wasn't turning out pretty.

"I do understand, _____! If anyone does, it's me! You've been thinking about yourself this whole time! I try to be nice, I try to be understanding. You just shut me out! Just because you're stressed out or having a hard time doesn't mean you're allowed to treat me this shitty!" You were almost speechless as you listened to him vent to you about his feelings. You had been trying to justify yourself, but the longer this argument continued, the more you realized how you had been treating him.

"I tried so hard. You only try to push me away now. I've always had draining schedules, but I never took it out on you. I knew that this whole thing was new for you, I gave you time to adjust. But I just can't stand this anymore!" Jungkook groaned, putting his face in his hands. You had become ignorant about how your boyfriend felt, trying too hard to explain why you were treating him this way. He had enough of this. You were angry right now, and anger led to you being irrational.

He knew that he needed to get out of the house before the two of you said anything else you regretted. He didn't want the two of you to be blinded by anger and the best thing to do was to cool down. He tried to take in a deep breath as he turned around to walk towards the coat rack. You watched in disbelief as he started to put on his coat and lace up his shoes. Was he really walking out on the argument?

"Are you serious right now!? You started this argument, and now you're just trying to walk away from it?!" You accused him, crossing your arms over your chest. All Jungkook did was shake his head to himself. If you wanted to be petty, then it was only fair for him to do the same. He wasn't going to let himself be a personal punching bag anymore.

"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______. Get your shit together." You only scoffed at what he said, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Too consumed by your own pride, you didn't say anything as he left, didn't try to stop him. If he wanted to walk out, that was his problem. You felt like you had an excuse for the way you had been. You hadn't even realized how badly your treatment had gotten.

You spent most of the day grouchy now, too sidetracked to focus on your work. The argument happened pretty early in the afternoon, meaning you got most of the day to think about it. You knew he was going to come back before it was bedtime, or at least you thought you knew. Because it had been the most important rule, right? So you spent the whole day trying to formulate an argument to use against him.

The longer you thought about it though, the more uneasy you felt about the situation. It was growing later and later with every passing minute, and there was no sign of your boyfriend. No text or call, no jingling of his keys in the doorway, not even a text from his brother asking what had happened. Him and his brother were very close. He was usually the person Jungkook went to whenever you got into arguments, and his brother had even helped the two of you. He always texted when Jungkook showed up at his place, but there were no notifications.

You had already taken your nightly shower and was sitting on the bed in silence, huffing to yourself. He was being too petty, you thought. Why couldn't he just understand that you were busy? He was one of the busiest people in the world after all, he should be understanding that you didn't have hours of the day to dedicate to your relationship anymore like you used to be able to do.

While stuck in your thoughts, you sort of froze. He was one of the busiest people in the world. He had countless shoots for music videos, songs, magazines, variety shows. Your boyfriend was a member of one of the most renowned music bands. He spent almost everyday practicing and even spent nights in the studio trying to perfect things. If anyone knew what it was like to live a busy life, it would be him. You'd seen how busy his schedules, how full they were. He had something almost everyday.

Yet he still made time for you.

You recounted all the times he had come home tired from work or exhausted from a performance. The days he returned with a frustrated or irritated expression from something that happened at work. Not one of those times did he ever take it out on you. He never let things that happened outside your relationship affect how he treated you. Before covid happened, he would be gone even more. Even though he had more time after the pandemic, things were getting back into motion.

He shared how overwhelmed he had been with everything. 2020 had been a break that he didn't even know he needed. He loved his fans, loved his band. But even then, he was still human. Not a machine that could work and be pushed through his schedules. When everything shut down, it meant him also being locked in his house and quarantined from everything. Now that there had been vaccinations and the urgency of the virus had died down, he was thrown right back into everything he had gotten used to being away from.

He had an album releasing soon, and it was taking a lot from him to get back into the flow of things. But he never blamed you for it. Before your job had you working crazy hours, he never got angry whenever you called him during his practices or came to surprise him at his workplace, taking away from his rehearsal time. Because it wasn't your fault for wanting to spend time with him or see him.

A pit was beginning to form in your stomach as you stared down at your lap. All of those times where you interrupted him from his work, you never realized how frustrating it could feel. Not until now when you were also working hard to produce quality work. You thought about all of the times he might've been irritated because he was trying to practice or so close to getting something right, and you came to stop him.

Yet every time he saw you, he was so excited and treated you with love. Even if you were distracting him from his job of performing in front of millions, even billions. Yet you had been doing the exact opposite. You were blaming him for wanting to spend time with you. Mad at him just because he wanted some time with his girlfriend. Fuck, you had been an idiot. Created an unnecessary argument just because you forgot to appreciate him.

You immediately reached for your phone, pressing the contact at the top of your favorites list. It was late now, almost 9pm, and you were worried. You wanted to at least see when he was coming home so you could be sure to stay up until then. You wanted to follow through with your number one rule and wait for him. You wanted to be waiting by the door when he came through to apologize to him.

Frowning when the call immediately went to voicemail, you were almost sent into a stupor. He always answered your calls, no matter what. It was strange for the phone go straight into voicemail, because in his car he always had a phone charger. One quick glance out of your window was the confirmation you needed, he did take his car.

He had his charger with him. Did that mean he was ignoring your calls then? The phone didn't even ring before it went to voicemail, quicker than any person could decline a call. You weren't someone who worried too easily, but whenever something didn't feel right it made you extremely anxious. This was one of those moments right now. There was something off about the whole situation and you didn't know.

You tried his phone at least two more times, and the same thing happened. Not even a single ring. Every time you were met with the voicemail the two of you had recorded together a couple years ago, the giggling one you recorded with him saying that if he wasn't answering the call, he was probably too busy with his beautiful girlfriend. Your heart hurt when you heard that. How much things had changed scared you.

You went to text him, sending a few messages asking if he was okay. You stared down at the notice that the message had failed to send, the frown in your face getting even deeper. You went back into your contacts app, calling his brother instead. To your short relief, the phone was ringing. But after a few long rings, the phone also went to voicemail. You felt the urge to throw your phone at the wall but instead just cursed under your breath.

You weren't even sure how slow or fast the time was passing right now. All you could do was blankly stare down at your phone, hoping for a call. Had the argument been that bad? Was he really not going to come home after 4 years of sticking to that rule? The clock was nearing 12AM now and you were fidgeting nervously. Going over the argument over and over in your mind again. One particular line suddenly caught your attention.

"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______."

Your heart practically dropped as you remembered that. It was something you overlooked in the moment because you had been so angry with him, so consumed by your own pride. Those were words he never said to you. Sure, he had left the house a few times to cool down when arguments got too heated. But he would always leave with a reminder that he would be back before dark, that he was going to his brother's house.

Did you really ruin the relationship? All because you had been too focused on your work? You could feel your heart beginning to pound in your chest. He told you that he was walking away from you, that he wasn't going to do this anymore. This, as in the relationship? And you didn't do a thing to stop him when he left. You were so stupid.

Now all of the worst thoughts were going through your mind. Any rationality was leaving you. The calls weren't going through still. Had he blocked you? That was the only conclusion you were believing at the moment. You had been treating him like he was a nuisance for the past few months even though he had always been nothing but loving towards you no matter how crazy his schedule became.

You had been ignoring him whenever he wanted to do something with you or tell him something that had happened during his work. You had taken the small amount of free days you got and spent time relaxing and focusing on yourself rather than spending time with the person you loved more than anything, the person who loved you more than anything. You forgot that a relationship was about loving someone even through hard times.

Any hope you had for yourself was draining as you dug yourself into an even deeper hole. You were someone who worried a lot, but it was something that Jungkook had always helped you work out. Without him here, the problems were coming right back. Especially because this was about him. You had been an asshole of a girlfriend and he had enough. He left, walked out, and blocked you.

All of the years in your relationship felt like they were coming back at once. All of the years you spent together. Loving each other unconditionally. You comforting him whenever he was anxious and insecure, him surprising you with date nights or coming home from trips early to spend time with you. Spending his free days surprising him with things like his favorite dinner. You guys argued as well, but it was what happened in any healthy relationship.

This didn't feel like an argument anymore. Usually they would be resolved, this just felt like the end. You were a shitty girlfriend and he could probably find anyone much better. There were so many girls out there who admired him like a god, who would treat him as such. Girls who didn't take who they got for granted until it was too late and they had already gone.

He left. He was really gone. Those words kept repeating in your mind, and yet it felt like everything was a dream. It felt like you couldn't breathe at the moment. You were the reason this happened. The panic attack was coming quicker than you could stop it, and it was hitting at full force. The clock read 2AM by now. You had been sitting in the bed since 8PM waiting for him to walk into the bedroom. He wasn't coming.

Your whole world was crashing in on itself. Tears were welling up inside your eyes as you laid back on the bed, not feeling enough strength to hold yourself upright again. As you laid down on the bed, you were greeted with the smell of your boyfriend. Was he even your boyfriend anymore? His scent flooded your senses, the familiar smell you'd grown to love so much over the years. It was your breaking point.

With shaky hands you grabbed the blanket, hugging it to your body as the sobs started. Your whole body was trembling with them, curled up as you tried desperately to grasp onto what you felt like was the last of your relationship. The only thought in your mind was that all of this was your fault. Like the ignorant person you were, you lost the most important person to you.

You felt like you would do anything to fix this. To just get one more chance to see him. You would beg at your knees if you needed. Anything to promise him that you would be a better girlfriend to him. But he wasn't going to give you another chance. You only realized now how insignificant your work seemed when he left you. You'd been too distracted by your work that you forgot about the one thing that was more important.

You wanted to do so many things. Scream, throw your laptop at the wall, go out and look for him. But you just couldn't. The realization you felt, the pit in your stomach, the overwhelming sense of guilt. It was all too much for you to move a single limb. You felt overly nauseous, like you would throw up if you moved.

You weren't someone that was completely dependent on Jungkook. You didn't need him to go about your day correctly. You could spend time apart with him. It was something you actually got used to with him going off on tours. But at this moment, it felt like your world was caving in on you. He was the one person who was always there for you no matter what, and now you had to come to terms with that changing. You sobbed even harder as you realized that.

This was the state that Jungkook saw as he walked back into the house. He knew that he had been gone for a long time, well over 12 hours. He had been cooling off by himself. He didn't even know how long he'd been out. His brother had been gone on vacation, meaning that he didn't have a place to go to. He didn't want to bother his bandmates with his relationship problems, so he could only think of one thing.

He spent the whole day hiking. One of the things he had done as a child growing up in Busan, it was something that helped him clear his mind. He drove a couple hours to the mountains and spend a big majority of the day in the nature. He had no service when he was out there, which helped him refrain from calling you before he had the opportunity to sort out his thoughts.

It had been well past nightfall when he got back down the mountain and he hadn't even realized how late it was. Not until he gained his signal back after he spent even longer at the small village by the bottom of the mountain. He had spent quite a while speaking to some of the elders that he lost track of time and saw it was nearly midnight. He had quickly said goodbye and promised to visit again before leaving.

It was only when he had gotten back onto the main highway that his signal returned and the notifications flooded his phone. He frowned as he looked at all of the missed calls from you, the worried texts. Your most recent one was the most concerning one, one that you had sent just twenty minutes prior.

"i'm sorry i was so shitty. i can pack all of my stuff and be gone in the morning."

He was confused as to why you were texting him that. Why were you packing your stuff and talking about leaving? He tried to call you multiple times, but none of the calls picked up. His own panic was building up as he stepped on the gas, speeding more than he would've liked to admit. It was a two hour drive back and right now he was cursing himself for picking a place so far away.

You usually never called or texted him when you were separated to cool down from arguments, so he knew that something was different this time. He couldn't think of what was different this time, what had happened that led to you saying that you would be packing up to leave. Was he too harsh on you? Should he have just pushed the problem off even more?

You didn't even register the sound of the door opening, too consumed by your grief. Jungkook had rushed into the apartment, looking around for you. He checked the living room first, and then went straight to the bedroom. He stopped completely in his tracks when he saw you. Curled up on the bed into a ball, clutching your shared blanket to your chest, shaking with quiet and violent sobs.

For a few moments he could do nothing but stare at the sight. Wondering if he really had been too hard on you. He didn't think that his words were too harsh when he was saying them. He had only been speaking his feelings. But as he watched you right now, he felt his heart shattering. He never wanted this. He regretted ever saying anything.

You jumped as you felt a hand lay on your shoulder. Your eyes were swollen from all of your crying, you could barely make out the sight of Jungkook knelt down beside you, frowning with immense concern. You almost couldn't believe that he was right in front of you. Your sobs died down a bit as the two of you stared. You were the first one to break down.

"J-Jungkook, I'm so sorry. I was too consumed with my work and I didn't realize how shitty I treated you. You were right. You've always been so busy with work and you never treated me the way I treated you. I was so stressed by my job that I let it out on you. I was such a bad girlfriend, and I understand why you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm just sorry I didn't notice how bad I was." The way you spoke with small sniffles almost broke his heart and distracted him from what you said.

After he processed his words, his frown only deepened. Why were you speaking to him like this? Saying that you would pack all of your stuff, that he didn't want to be with you anymore, that you were a bad girlfriend? All of his anger was completely gone now and at the moment he just felt extremely confused along with distraught from how destroyed you looked.

"Baby, what are you talking about? Why are you saying all of this?" Jungkook asked with pure bewilderment in his tone. This made you look back at him with an equally confused expression. You weren't expecting this response from him. He seemed like he genuinely didn't know what you were talking about and it made you question everything.

"But.. you blocked me. You said that.. that you couldn't do this and were walking away?" You questioned, your voice cracking with how weak it was after sobbing. Jungkook tilted his head a bit as he tried to recall when he ever said that. After going through the argument in his head, the realization hit him. His eyes widened as he recalled what he said in the heat of the moment. He hadn't clarified what he meant and you had been left alone for however many hours thinking that he had ended the relationship.

"______, I know how those words seemed, but that's not at all what I meant. I was saying that I couldn't do the argument, not the relationship. I would never end things off. I only said I was walking away so I could cool off." Jungkook explained as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Not at all irritated by you, but instead angry at himself. He had only said what he was feeling in the heat of the moment and left.

"What about your phone..? None of my calls went through." You asked him, your voice still full with hurt and doubt. He felt terrible for even making you think for a moment that he wanted to end the relationship. Even though he had been pissed off, he would never end the relationship like that in the heat of the moment. Even enraged he knew it would be the worst mistake he would ever make.

"I went to the mountains to hike and get everything off my mind. My brother is on vacation so that's why I didn't go to him. The place I went had no service and so none of the calls or texts could've gotten through." He told you, and your eyes slightly widened. He was really telling the truth? He didn't want to break up with you? At this point you just felt like you had fallen asleep and this was all a dream.

To confirm this was real, you couldn't hold yourself back anymore and reached out for him, and he wasted no time. He sat down on the bed next to you and pulled you right into his arms. Your body froze as you felt his familiar warmth, smelled his scent with the addition of the smell of nature he'd been around all day. This was real. He wasn't leaving you.

The tears instantly started falling from your eyes, but it was different this time. It was relief. You spent so long crying because you thought he had broken up with you, but it all ended up being a misunderstanding. He wasn't leaving you and you had nothing to worry about. In the past 12 hours it felt like your life had completely ended, but it hadn't.

Jungkook held you closely to him, his fingers carding through your slightly tangled hair while his other hand rubbed small circles into your back. He rested his head on the top of yours, knowing that it was better for you to just get all of your feelings out. Even though nothing made him feel worse than knowing he was the reason that you were crying like this, it was better for you to just let it all out so it didn't bottle up. He had been doing that for the past few months and it turned out like this.

You didn't know how long you had been laying like that in his arms, but when you were finally able to stop crying, you noticed the beginnings of light peeking through the windows. The whole time Jungkook was there for you, whispering sweet things to help you calm down. How much he loved you, how he wasn't going to leave you, that he wasn't angry with you. Anything he could think of to help you calm down.

When you finally had a level enough mind to fully process everything, you felt so much relief. But you still felt the same guilt from before. You were the one that disregarded what he felt and now he was comforting you after an argument that was your fault. You needed to say something to him, to apologize and promise that you would be better. There was no way that you were ever going to let your work consume you again.

"I know I already said this, but I want to say that I'm so sorry. I was so stressed out with my new hours that I got angry and irritated whenever you just wanted to spend time with me. I never should've done that and I realize now how much I took you for granted. You've always made the time for me and I should've done the same for you. I know now how wrong and unfair I was being to you, and I want to be better." You said to him, your voice filled with regret.

Jungkook smiled lightly when he heard your apology. There was no longer any anger in his eyes. No resentment. To him, that was all in the past now. He could hear the sincerity in every word you said. After all, this was the reason that he had started dating you. You were so sweet and considerate towards others. You just needed to realize what you were doing wrong. You were distracted and didn't know you were bring rude.

"It's okay, my love. I know how stressful it's been for you and I'm not angry anymore. I understand how you feel and I accept your apology. I know you didn't realize how you were treating me." Jungkook replied, putting his fingers under your chin so he could tilt your head up to look at him. Even with your red, puffy eyes and runny nose you were so beautiful to him. He gently kissed the tip of your nose before resting his forehead against yours.

"I love you so much. Thank you for always being the best." You mumbled, closing your eyes as you took the time to let yourself bask in the moment. Letting go of all doubts that you felt previously. There was no reason to dwell on this argument, because you knew that you wouldn't make this mistake anymore going on.

"I love you too, always. No matter what happens." Jungkook replied with a bit of reassurance in his tone. You smiled as he said those words to you, leaning forward to close the small gap between the two of you. You were fully calmed down as your lips met and any thoughts that you had melted away in the moment. Everything was okay in this moment.

Even though this argument had been rough, the two of you had stuck to your most important rule. The two of you went to sleep shortly afterwards, no more feelings of anger or resentment. You would never go to bed angry anymore, realizing just how important that rule was.

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oddinary4bts · 1 year ago

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When the End Comes | Masterpost (jjk)

☆summary: Seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?

☆status: completed

☆pairing: photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, every chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: breakup!au, slice of life!au, angst with a big A, smut, fluff

☆total word count: 77.9k

☆a/n: this one is for the anon that suggested a breakup sequel in a character ask, you really inspired me to write this whole thing and I'll forever be thankful for you <3

☆Thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing this whole thing, you are amazing!!! <3 everyone go check her blog out, she has some amazing writing too!!

☆Thank you to @jessikahathaway too!! Your support as I wrote this story meant everything and you really helped me advancing it <3

☆Read The Forgotten Spaces here, the prequel to When the End Comes! It does not need to be read to understand When the End Comes, but I think it still should be read first to have a better understanding of the characters in general!

☆Add yourself to the taglist here! (if you were on the taglist for The Forgotten Spaces, you're already on the taglist for When the End Comes)

☆☆☆☆☆

But love never leaves a heart, where it found it, found it You found it Someday, I'll fall into you That's where I'll be now when the end comes

When the End Comes, Andrew Belle

☆☆☆☆☆

➳Teaser

➳Chapter one: when you break up (9.4k)

Thank you for the years. I had a lot of fun with you.

➳Chapter two: when you try to live apart (8.7k)

Why? Why did she do this?

➳Chapter three: when a wedding forces you close again (17.6k oop)

Ask me again tomorrow. Maybe I'll hate you then.

➳Chapter four: when you try again (14.2k)

Let's try. For real. So no more apologies.

➳Chapter five: when the end comes (15.8k)

You never said yes when I asked you to marry me.

➳Epilogue: the wedding (12.1k)

The only thing is, we already got married.

1K notes · View notes

keehomania · 15 days ago

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paradise — jjk (18+)

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ smut — loosely inspired by outer banks — friends with benefits, kook/pogue dynamic, violence, manipulative!toxic!jungkook, p in v intercourse, jealousy, creampie, car sex, degradation, jungkook is mean lol, tit play, lots of yapping, orgasm denial, spanking, drug usage

hell is other people. at least, according to sartre. everybody seemed to have their own personal perspective. you had your sartres, your tolstoys, and even your nietzsches, if that struck your fancy. that was the beauty of philosophy—everybody had their own way of looking at the glass, whether it was half-full or not. the sheer essence relied on the fact that, those who cared enough, would put their minds to great use in order to put things into perspective. it was subjective. to sartre, hell was other people. to you, it was jeon jungkook.

it was good. it was so good, every part of it that your mind knew was bad, seemed to be countered by a much more primitive instinct. it was only natural, above all else. it allowed you to indulge in your primal instincts, in a way that would raise eyebrows instead of praise. to hell with it, you didn’t need praise. you just needed to live, and if anybody was going to tell you how to do it, it was going to be you. sartre could never let himself go and become incarnated in his body, but thankfully, you were no sartre.

there was a certain division that led life on the island, one that seemed to resemble the States’ red-blue way of thinking. there was a hint of bourgeoisie to it, maybe even more than a hint. one side of the island belonged to those who managed to get by, living on scraps and making the most of them. they were the commoners who, despite working to live, still lived. the other side, though basing their entire lives on privilege and luxury, ceased to live. they merely existed. they existed, with their three-story homes, trust funds, and private schools, but they didn’t know the first thing about living.

living was what you did best, and you had nothing to regret. you could only wish to turn back time, to shed the last eighteen years of your life the way a snake shed its skin, and to start over. you’d trade the hand you were dealt at birth, every single privilege that was guaranteed, for the life you were now living. your blood ran blue, but your heart knew exactly where home was, much to your parents’ dismay. while they weren’t supportive, they were willing to look the other way. they knew nothing could replace the bonds formed—your second family, even if it was on the cut.

at times, you were in over your head. even with the first rays of sunlight making their breakthrough of the day, the smell of salt in the air, the feeling of coarse sand between your toes—sometimes, it wasn’t enough to quiet your mind. you stared into the sea, watching the boats grow smaller and smaller as they travelled down south, the corners of your lips turning downward as you did so. during moments like these, you would reminisce, and you would do it quietly. you would take a minute to grieve the life you had discarded, the friendships you had ended, and the luxuries you kissed goodbye. you were happier now, the half-full glass part of your mind would tell you, but the other still asked, what if you weren’t?

“these tides got me by the fucking balls, dude,” was the first thing to have snapped you out of your own thoughts, earning your attention in a matter of seconds. finally, you felt yourself relax. you could see taehyung in the water, wrestling with the surfboard under his arm as he gasped for air. for a second, he met your gaze, and you found yourself smiling. jimin stood over him, crouching against the floorboards of the boat—the same one he named in taehyung’s honor, the “dokdo maknae.”

you watched in amusement as he extended his hand, offering his best man help, even if it seemed like the world’s biggest struggle. “do us all a favor and just let him drown next time,” you called out, finally propping yourself off the ground and back onto your feet. despite the middle finger sent your way, you could hear seulgi cracking up just a few feet away from you. “yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” taehyung responded as he dried himself off with an old rag.

you shook your head, your grin widening as you made your way toward seulgi, who was sitting cross-legged near the cooler, sunglasses perched on her nose, sipping a beer. the sun spilled across the boat, warming the floorboards beneath your bare feet and casting golden ripples across the water. the air smelled of salt and sunscreen, a scent that always brought you peace. “boys,” seulgi said with a smirk as you dropped down beside her, stealing her beer for a quick sip. “so dramatic.”

before you could respond, taehyung, now aboard, threw the rag to the side with a flourish. “you want dramatic? i’ll show you dramatic,” he declared, heading toward the cooler with newfound purpose. you and seulgi exchanged a look, already bracing for whatever ridiculousness he was about to pull. “i bet i can shotgun two beers faster than anyone here,” he announced, grabbing two cans from the cooler.

“oh, please,” you said, leaning back on your elbows as the sun kissed your skin. “you can’t get through one can without it looking like you pissed yourself.”

“you need to learn to have a little more faith in me,” taehyung replied with a confident smirk, already cracking open the cans. jimin was on the other side of the boat, shaking his head. “this should be good,” seulgi murmured, pulling her sunglasses down just enough to watch the scene unfold.

with exaggerated theatrics, taehyung lifted both cans, the liquid already beginning to foam. “one, two,” he started, his voice trailing off as he tilted them back, the first gush of bitter liquid splashing wildly. you couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up as, true to form, taehyung managed to spill more than he drank. within seconds, beer was running down his arms, soaking his shirt, and unfortunately, spraying onto both you and seulgi in the process. “see, i can totally do it!” he exclaimed triumphantly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“you asshole,” you said, feigning annoyance as you flicked droplets off your arms. “you got us all wet!” through her laughter, seulgi added, “You’re a walking disaster, dude.”

taehyung, unbothered, gave you both a devilish grin. “i’ve got a solution,” he said, stepping closer to you. before you could react, his arms were already wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground and and throwing you effortlessly over his shoulder. “taehyung, don’t even try it!” you yelled, pounding on his back, but he was already sprinting toward the edge of the boat.

the impact was cold and sudden, the water enveloping you in an instant. you came up for air sputtering, pushing your wet hair out of your face as you glared at him. “you’re such an ass,” you snapped, splashing water in his direction, but your laughter betrayed you. his grin was wide and unrepentant as he treaded water, his dark hair plastered to his forehead. “and yet, you can’t get enough of me,” he teased, dodging your splash with ease. despite your protests, you couldn’t deny the truth of his words. moments like these—laughter, salt water, the sun rising higher in the sky—reminded you why you chose this life.

the sun hung high in the sky, casting long shadows on the beach as the waves crashed in a soothing rhythm against the shore. you lay sprawled on a towel beside seulgi, your sunglasses shielding your eyes from the glare, the heat of the day seeping into your skin. taehyung and jimin had ventured further down the beach with their fishing rods, their laughter echoing faintly over the sound of the waves.

seulgi was flipping through a fashion magazine, occasionally pausing to comment on an outfit or a piece of jewelry, but you were only half-listening. your mind drifted, lulled by the sea breeze and the distant hum of voices. that was, until your phone buzzed beside you. you hesitated, a pang of unease washing over you as you turned the screen over. the name flashing on the screen was both familiar and unwelcome.

do not answer: wya

your stomach twisted as you stared at the message, the three letters pulling you from the tranquility of the moment. you didn’t have to think twice to know why he was texting. jeon jungkook always had a way of turning up uninvited, unannounced, and unwelcome—yet there was something about him that kept you from cutting him off entirely. you scoffed quietly, a sound that barely escaped your throat, but seulgi noticed the subtle change in your demeanor.

“what’s wrong?” she asked, lowering her sunglasses to give you a curious glance. you forced a laugh, shaking your head as you quickly locked your phone. “wrong number, i guess.” she raised an eyebrow, unconvinced, but didn’t push further. you couldn’t risk her knowing even a fraction of what you had going on with jungkook. seulgi was fiercely loyal, and if she ever found out about the tangled mess of mistakes and emotions you had with him, she’d never let it slide.

your thoughts churned as you leaned back against the towel, staring at the sky. what had started as a drunken mistake one night at a party thrown by the rich and reckless had somehow spiraled into something far more complicated. jungkook had a reputation that preceded him—dangerous, aloof, and always out for his own gain. but with you, he was different. or at least, you’d convinced yourself he was. you thought back to the nights where he’d been unexpectedly gentle, his touch careful and his words soft, as though the walls he put up for the world didn’t exist in your presence. it was a lie you clung to, a fantasy you chased, even when his actions painted a different picture.

the resentment had been simmering for a while, but it reached its boiling point last week. you’d seen him at the golfing event, his arm slung around another girl as though you didn’t exist. it was the final confirmation you needed: he wasn’t what you wanted him to be. still, your fingers hovered over your phone, and before you could stop yourself, you typed out a response.

you: beach

you: taehyung’s throwing a party tn

the reply came faster than you anticipated, as though he had been waiting for your message.

do not answer: omw

your jaw tightened as you stared at the screen, irritation bubbling up inside you. the audacity he had was almost impressive, if it weren’t so infuriating.

you: ur not invited lol

a beat passed before his response lit up the screen, and it was exactly what you expected.

do not amswer: see u tonight

you sighed, tossing your phone onto the towel beside you with more force than necessary. the nerve of him.

“what’s up?” seulgi asked, glancing at you from over the rim of her sunglasses. “nothing,” you said quickly, forcing a smile. “just work stuff.” she nodded, satisfied with the answer, and returned to her magazine. but your mind was elsewhere, already bracing for the chaos jungkook’s presence would inevitably bring. you hated how easily he got under your skin, how no matter how many times you told yourself you were done, you always found yourself right back where you started.

the memory seemed to hit you like a wave, drowning out the warmth of the sun and the soft sounds of the beach. it wasn’t just a moment—it was the catalyst, the precise point in time when your life split into the “before” and “after” of jeon jungkook. you’d never forget the smell of salt in the air mixed with the sharp bite of alcohol, or the way the world seemed to tilt slightly as you tried to keep your balance.

that night, the four of you—taehyung, jimin, seulgi, and yourself—had made the brilliant decision to sneak off to the other side of the island. it wasn’t a small feat; the jungle separating your beach from theirs was dense and wild, and every crack of a branch or rustle of leaves had sent shivers down your spine. but the promise of free booze and a party hosted by the infamous jungkook and his equally notorious friends had been too tempting.

the house where the party raged was perched on the cliffside, its floor-to-ceiling windows glowing with golden light. music blared loud enough to make the walls tremble, and the sound of laughter and splashes echoed from the pool. you hadn’t wasted any time diving headfirst into the expensive cocktails. the smooth taste of rum burned in the back of your throat, but it only fueled the high you were chasing. “have a hit, c’mon, it’s on the house,” a voice had called out over the noise.

you turned just in time to see jungkook leaning casually against a pool table, his friend nervously fidgeting with a rolled-up dollar bill in hand. the sharp scent of chemicals lingered in the air, unmistakable even in the chaos of the party. “don’t pussy out on me now, okay?” his voice was smooth, almost coaxing, but the sharp edge in his words betrayed the threat beneath. his friends—if you could call them that—laughed on cue, while a group of girls lounged behind him, their eyes glued to him like moths to a flame.

something about the scene struck you wrong. even through the haze of alcohol, your disdain bubbled up. the scoff that escaped your lips wasn’t intentional, but it was loud enough to carry. jungkook’s head snapped up, his sharp gaze landing on you like a laser. “you get lost, whore? cut’s on the other side of the island,” he sneered, his words slicing through the air like a knife. laughter erupted around him, his friends quick to follow his lead. but you weren’t about to back down, not to him.

“you get lost, asshole? addicts anonymous is on the other side of the island,” you shot back, your words sharper than you expected. the laughter died instantly, replaced by a stunned silence. even his so-called friends seemed intrigued, their eyes darting between you and him like they were watching a bomb about to go off. jungkook’s expression shifted, his smirk faltering as he straightened, his full attention now focused on you.

“you’ve got a mouth on you,” he murmured, stepping away from the table. “and you’ve got a habit,” you retorted, moving closer despite the voice in your head screaming for you to stop.

he tilted his head, studying you with a look that sent a shiver down your spine. “let me do my thing, yeah? shit cost me a lot.” there it was—the money. it always came down to that with guys like him. you watched as he turned back to his friend, offering a look that was equal parts mocking and demanding. the guy hesitated, the dollar trembling in his grip.

before you could think better of it, your feet carried you forward. with a boldness that surprised even you, you snatched the bill from the guy’s hand, shoving jungkook aside with a force you hadn’t known you possessed. “if you’re gonna waste your money, might as well make it worth it,” you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

the rolled-up bill felt foreign in your hand, and your heart pounded in your chest as you leaned down, the sharp sting of the powder burning your nostrils. you inhaled until the line was gone, ignoring the searing pain and the metallic taste that followed.

straightening up, you turned to jungkook, your head spinning but your resolve unshaken. “you can leave him alone now,” you said, your voice steady despite the chaos in your mind. “not everyone needs coke and viagra to keep their dick hard.” the room fell silent, all eyes on you. jungkook stared at you, his expression unreadable, but there was something in his gaze—a flicker of surprise, maybe even admiration.

“you’d be surprised just how hard it can get,” he said, his voice low and dripping with amusement. your stomach twisted, but you refused to falter. “try me,” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

his lips curled into a smirk, and for a moment, neither of you moved. then, without breaking eye contact, you turned on your heel and walked past him, ignoring the way your heart raced as you climbed the stairs. the sound of his footsteps behind you sent a chill down your spine, but you didn’t stop. you knew where this was headed. you knew it was a mistake. and yet, as you reached the top of the stairs and felt his hand wrap around your wrist, pulling you to face him, you knew you wouldn’t stop it. not tonight.

the morning after was worse than anything you could have anticipated. the headache was a dull roar behind your eyes, pulsing in time with your heartbeat, and the sour tang of regret clung to you like a second skin. the smell of sweat, alcohol, and sex lingered in the air, mixing into a nauseating reminder of the night before.

the room was bathed in the soft golden glow of the early morning sun filtering through the curtains. you blinked against the light, your senses slowly coming back to you as the events of the previous night unfurled in your mind. the party. the lines. the liquor. jungkook. shit, jungkook.

you pushed yourself upright, the sheet pooling around your waist as you surveyed the room with growing horror. his room. his bed. his things scattered around like trophies of his carelessness. and there, beside you, his arm lazily draped over the empty space, was the man himself. he looked peaceful, almost innocent in his sleep—a huge contrast to the wild, arrogant man from the night before. his dark hair was tousled against the pillow, his chest rising and falling steadily. you could make out the faint remnants of scratches on his shoulders and chest, and the sight made your stomach flip.

you slid out of his bed as quietly as you could, every movement measured and deliberate. the cool morning air hit your bare skin, sending a shiver down your spine. the ache in your thighs and the marks on your body only deepened your shame. your clothes were strewn across the floor, a chaotic mess of discarded fabric. you crouched down, gathering them quickly, trying to piece together some semblance of dignity.

the large mirror across the room caught your reflection, and you froze. you looked disheveled. vulnerable. raw. your hair was a mess, your makeup smeared, and your skin bore the evidence of his touch—purple bruises on your neck and thighs, faint scratches on your arms. it was as if your body had betrayed you, telling the story of your night with him in ways you wished it wouldn’t.

as you slipped your panties back on and reached for your bra, the voice you dreaded most cut through the silence like a knife. “going somewhere?” you froze, your heart plummeting into your stomach. of course, he was awake. of course, fate wouldn’t let you escape unnoticed.

you didn’t turn to look at him, didn’t dare meet his gaze. instead, you focused on pulling your bra straps into place, forcing yourself to appear unaffected. “clearly,” you deadpanned, hoping the sharpness in your tone would mask the turmoil inside you. he shifted, the sound of the sheets rustling making you painfully aware of his presence. you could feel his eyes on you, heavy and intent, as if he was committing every inch of you to memory.

“seem to be in a big rush,” he murmured, his voice laced with amusement. “try not to miss me too much.” you scoffed, finally pulling your top over your head. the fabric felt like armor, shielding you from his piercing gaze, though you could still feel it. “bite me,” you snapped, turning to face him.

the smirk that spread across his face was slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every second of your reaction. “well,” he drawled, his eyes flicking down to your legs, “if your legs are any indication, i think i already have.” confused, you glanced down, and your breath caught in your throat. bruises. his marks. scattered along your inner thighs like some twisted declaration of possession. heat flooded your cheeks, a mix of anger and humiliation that made your head spin.

when you looked back up, his gaze was unwavering, his fingers reaching out to brush against the bruised skin. the touch was light, almost reverent, but it sent a jolt through you nonetheless. “tell me this was a mistake,” he said, his voice soft and smooth, yet commanding. you opened your mouth, ready to deliver the cutting remark he deserved, but the words wouldn’t come. his eyes held you captive, dark and searching, and the goosebumps that rose on your skin betrayed you.

“it was a mistake,” you managed to say, your voice trembling despite your best efforts. jungkook tilted his head, his expression unreadable as his fingers continued to trace lazy circles on your thigh. “then why don’t you sound like you mean it?”

you stepped back, breaking his touch and the spell he seemed to have cast over you. “believe it or not, but i do,” you said, though the words felt hollow. he didn’t respond, just watched you with that same infuriating smirk as you grabbed the rest of your things and fled the room.

the party roared to life in a way that only taehyung could pull off. the island, once serene and peaceful, had transformed into a haven for decadence. fireworks lit up the night sky in an endless symphony of colors, their reflections shimmering on the dark water. music thundered from colossal speakers strategically placed along the beach, the bass so heavy it vibrated through the sand. people danced with wild abandon, their bodies swaying and colliding under the flickering light of bonfires scattered across the shore. drinks flowed, laughter echoed in the air, and the atmosphere was thick with an intoxicating mix of salt and cheap beer.

you weaved your way through the throng of people, the cacophony of sound and light almost overwhelming. the drink in your hand had long since lost its appeal, but you clung to it as a distraction, something to occupy your trembling fingers. your mind buzzed with unease, your nerves stretched thin under the weight of one singular thought: avoid jungkook at all costs. you couldn’t bear the thought of another confrontation, another one of his sharp words cutting into you like glass.

stumbling slightly, you glanced around for a quieter corner, somewhere you could breathe. your head was spinning, whether from the alcohol or the oppressive tension of the night, you weren’t sure. just as you thought you’d found a moment of peace, a pair of hands suddenly covered your eyes from behind. panic seized you, your breath catching in your throat as your heart raced.

you spun around, ready to lash out, only to be met with taehyung’s familiar, mischievous grin. his golden skin glowed under the light of the bonfires, and his dark hair fell messily across his forehead, damp from the humidity. “ants up your ass?” he teased, his voice lilting with amusement. “jesus, dude,” you muttered, letting out a shaky laugh as you tried to steady your pounding heart. “don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“relax,” he said, throwing a casual arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. “you’re too tense. come on, i’ve got just the thing to fix that.” before you could protest, he guided you down the beach, the noise of the crowd fading slightly as you moved further from the epicenter of the party. he stopped beside a cooler buried halfway in the sand, crouching down to rummage through it. with a triumphant smile, he pulled out a mai tai, holding it out like it was a prize.

“see how i remembered your favorite?” he said, his grin widening. “i should get some credit for that.” you couldn’t help but laugh, accepting the drink from him. “you get all the credit, tae,” you said, cracking open the can and taking a sip. the sweet, citrusy flavor was refreshing, and for a moment, you felt a bit of the tension leave your shoulders.

the two of you settled by one of the smaller bonfires, the warmth of the flames chasing away the chill of the ocean breeze. you leaned your head on his shoulder, the comfort of his presence grounding you in a way few things could. “i have to admit something,” he murmured after a moment, his voice low and conspiratorial. he reached out, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers light against your skin.

“what is it?” you asked, matching his tone. “i’m so fucked right now,” he whispered, his words slurring slightly as he dissolved into laughter. you couldn’t help it—you laughed, too, the sound bubbling up uncontrollably as the ridiculousness of the moment hit you. for the first time that night, you felt like you could breathe. but the moment shattered like glass as a voice cut through the laughter, sharp and cold.

“what’s so funny?” the entire beach seemed to freeze. the music, the laughter, even the waves crashing against the shore all faded into the background as you looked up. jungkook stood a few feet away, his dark eyes locked on you and taehyung, his expression thunderous.

taehyung was on his feet in an instant, his playful demeanor replaced by something sharper, more dangerous. “who the fuck invited you?” he snapped, his voice loud enough to draw the attention of a few nearby partygoers. jungkook’s gaze flicked to you, his lips curling into a smirk that sent a chill down your spine. “ask your girlfriend,” he said, his tone dripping with mockery. “she sure knows how to get around.”

the words hit like a slap, your cheeks flushing with equal parts anger and embarrassment. before you could react, taehyung lunged forward, his fist connecting with jungkook’s jaw with a sickening thud. “taehyung, stop!” you shouted, scrambling to your feet, but your voice was drowned out by the chaos.

jungkook retaliated immediately, his fist slamming into taehyung’s side with enough force to make him stumble. the two of them were a blur of motion, fists flying and curses ringing out as a small crowd began to gather. “knock it off!” jimin’s voice rang out as he pushed his way through the crowd, grabbing taehyung and pulling him back.

you darted forward, grabbing jungkook’s arm and tugging him away with all the strength you could muster. “let’s go,” you hissed, dragging him toward the parking lot. “shit,” he muttered, wiping at his nose. blood smeared across his hand, and he winced. “think he broke my fucking nose.”

“oh, please,” you snapped, your voice shaking with anger. “like you weren’t begging for it.” you stopped beside his car, spinning around to face him. “what the fuck is your problem?” you demanded, your voice rising. for a moment, he said nothing, his dark eyes searching yours. the silence stretched, the weight of it pressing down on you like a vice.

“you’re such a dick,” you continued, your frustration spilling over. “always starting shit, always—” before you could finish, jungkook slammed his hands against the car, the sound reverberating through the night. one of his fists hit the rearview mirror, knocking it loose. “you’re my problem,” he snapped, his voice low and dangerous.

his hands grabbed your shoulders, pinning you against the car. his face was inches from yours, his breath hot against your skin as his eyes burned into yours. “you’ve been my problem since the night we met,” he growled. “since you walked onto my property that night, flashing your shit like sharon stone.”

fear twisted in your gut, but you refused to let it show. “go to hell, you fucking asshole,” you spat, your voice trembling. “i’d take those two minutes of getting fucked by you back if i could.” to your surprise, he laughed—a dark, humorless sound that sent a shiver down your spine. he stepped back for a moment, pacing like a caged animal before slamming his hand against the car next to your head.

“some fucking nerve you have,” he said, his voice a venomous whisper. “feeling that dipshit up right in front of me.”

“what's it to you, asshole?” you snapped, shoving against his chest with all your might. his hands caught yours, pinning them above your head with one hand as his other cupped your jaw. “did he fuck you yet?” he asked, his tone sharp and cruel. “does he know who popped your cherry?”

the words hit like a punch to the gut, but you refused to let him see how much they hurt. “get lost,” you bit out, your voice shaking with rage. “maybe that slut from your golf tournament'll help you find your way back.” a bitter laugh escaped his lips as he leaned in closer. “you can’t be serious,” he murmured, his lips grazing your ear.

“why not?” you bit out. “she’s easier to get into than community college, why the fuck not?” before you could say another word, his lips crashed against yours, silencing your tirade. you tried to resist, your hands pushing against him, but his grip was unyielding. slowly, against your better judgment, you gave in.

when he pulled back, his breathing was heavy, his forehead resting against yours. “she’s my friend’s girlfriend, for fuck’s sake,” he muttered. for a second, you almost felt like an idiot, but you couldn’t let yourself feel like one. why should you? “you’re the one who wanted something casual,” you shot back, your voice barely above a whisper.

for a moment, he said nothing, the tension between you thick and suffocating. it was all because he knew you had the upper hand. then, without a word, he kissed you again. this time, you didn’t resist. you let the anger, the frustration, and the twisted desire take over, surrendering to the fire that had been burning between you all along.

his lips moved with a bruising intensity, claiming yours with a ferocity that made your knees weak. the tension between you crackled like lightning, the weight of his jealousy and your own suppressed emotions combusting into a heated clash. his grip on your wrists didn’t loosen, pinning you against the cool metal of the car as his body pressed flush against yours. his tongue swept across your lower lip, demanding entry, and when you opened up to him, the kiss deepened into something raw and consuming.

when he finally pulled back, his lips swollen and glistening, his dark eyes bored into yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch. his hand slid down from your jaw to your neck, his thumb brushing lightly against the sensitive skin as his lips ghosted over your jawline. “you think that asshole could ever make you feel this way?” he muttered against your skin, his voice low and rough, dripping with jealousy.

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words died in your throat when his lips found the curve of your neck. he kissed his way down slowly, deliberately, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to leave you trembling. you gasped when he nipped at a particularly sensitive spot, one he knew like the back of his hand, your body arching into his as your hands twisted in his shirt, desperate for an anchor.

“answer me,” he murmured, his voice vibrating against your neck. his tongue flicked over the spot he’d just bitten, soothing the sting with an intimacy that sent a rush of heat straight to your core.

“jungkook—” you breathed, barely able to form coherent words. “that’s not an answer,” he growled, his hands releasing your wrists only to find their way to your hips. his fingers dug into your flesh possessively as he pulled you closer, his thigh slipping between yours in a way that left no space between your bodies.

your head fell back against the car as he continued his assault on your neck, his lips and teeth working in tandem to leave marks that you knew would be there for days. his jealousy was palpable, woven into every kiss, every touch, every deliberate pause as he refused to give you the release you so desperately craved. “taehyung couldn’t do this to you,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your collarbone now, his voice a sinful whisper. “he couldn’t make you feel like this, could he?”

“stop,” you gasped, though your hands betrayed you as they slid up his chest, curling into his shirt and pulling him closer.

“stop lying to yourself,” he shot back, his hands sliding over the fabric of your bikini, his palms warm against your bare skin as he palmed at the flesh of your tits. his thumbs traced slow, deliberate circles down your sides as he kissed his way back up to your jawline, his lips brushing yours but never quite closing the distance. you whimpered, the sound torn from your throat as his teeth grazed your ear. “say it,” he demanded, his voice rough and commanding. “say he could never touch you like this.”

your lips trembled, torn between pride and the undeniable truth that jungkook had you under his spell, as he always had. but he didn’t wait for your answer. instead, his lips finally descended on yours again, and this time, the kiss was slower, deeper, his tongue exploring your mouth like he was memorizing every inch of you. his hands roamed greedily, one slipping under the hem of your shirt while the other gripped your thigh, pulling it up to wrap around his waist. the position left you completely at his mercy, your body pinned against the car with no escape from the heat radiating off him.

“admit it,” he murmured against your lips, his voice sending shivers down your spine. his hand slid higher, his fingers teasing the edge of your bra as his lips moved to your neck again, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make you gasp. “admit i’m the only one whos ever gonna make you feel this way.”

you hated how right he was, how your body responded to his every touch, every word, every possessive look. your hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer as your resolve shattered completely. “only you, kook,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own racing heartbeat. “no one else, i promise.”

the heat between the two of you was suffocating, consuming, as his lips captured yours in a fervent kiss while his hands fumbled to open the back door of his car. he groaned into your mouth as the door clicked open, his lips never leaving yours as he maneuvered the two of you into the backseat. the kiss was messy, all teeth and tongue, a clash of frustration, jealousy, and raw desire that made your head spin.

your knees straddled his hips as you hovered over him, your breathing erratic as his hands roamed your body. his fingers slid up your sides, brushing over the thin strings of your bikini top, and he pulled back just enough to look at you. his dark eyes were heavy with lust as they trailed down your body, lingering on the way your bikini struggled to contain you. “fuck,” he groaned, his voice thick and dripping with approval. “bikini’s too small for you, doll.”

your cheeks burned under his gaze, but before you could respond, his hands tugged at the ties of your top, and his head dipped down, burying itself between your tits as they dropped out. his lips were hot against your skin, kissing and sucking with an unrelenting hunger that left you breathless.

“got the best rack on the island, don’t you?” he muttered against your skin, his voice muffled but no less vulgar. the words sent a jolt of heat straight through you, equal parts demeaning and intoxicating, because it was him—raw, unfiltered, and unapologetically possessive. “stop,” you gasped, your hands threading into his hair, pulling him closer even as you protested. “anyone could walk by and see us.”

he didn’t even pause, too busy sucking a mark into the soft flesh of your chest. “let ’em see,” he grunted, his teeth grazing the swell of your breast before his tongue followed, soothing the sting. “wan’em to see who gets to fuck you stupid.” your breath hitched as his lips traced the faint tan lines left behind by your swimsuit, his warm tongue licking over them with a softness that contrasted the possessive grip of his hands on your hips.

with a smirk that could only be described as pure evil, he slapped your left tit, the sound echoing in the car. your eyes went wide with shock and arousal, your mouth dropping open on a silent cry.

his grip tightened around your hips as he slapped the right one, the sting spreading like wildfire across your chest, leaving you trembling. “shit, you like that, don’t you?” he whispered, his voice thick with lust. “you like when i show you who’s in charge?” you nodded frantically, unable to form words, your eyes glazed over with desire. jungkook chuckled, the sound dark and sinful, as he continued his assault, slapping each boob in turn, watching as your nipples grew harder with every impact.

you watched as he hoisted one of your legs up and, to your astonishment, pressed his pelvis against the bare flesh of your thigh. at first, you almost didn’t get it, until you felt it. through his khaki shorts, rock hard and throbbing. “you feel how hard you make me, doll?” you felt it, of course you did, but just in case you didn’t, he made sure to guide your hand over his clothed dick. you allowed yourself to feel him up, to relish in the sight of him throwing his head back in bliss as you stroked his thick, solid cock as best as you could through his shorts.

his eyes rolled back in his head, a silent groan escaping his lips, and that was all the encouragement you needed. you leaned back, pressing the weight of your palm against his cock, and whispered, “fuck me, jungkook. please, need it so badly.” the words were like a spell, and he was the one under it. his eyes snapped to yours, filled with something akin to desperation. without another word, he yanked down the waistband of his shorts, freeing his cock with an urgency that made your mouth water. it was big, bigger than you remembered, and it was all for you.

his hand was on the back of your neck, pushing down as he guided his cock to your mouth, and you opened for him, eager to taste him, to have him fill you in every way possible. the tip of his dick was wet with pre-cum, and you licked at it like it was a summer treat. his hips bucked up, and he cursed under his breath. “finally putting that mouth to good use,” he murmured, his hand tightening slightly as he pushed further into your mouth. you took as much of him as you could, feeling his girth stretch your lips wide, and the sound he made was all the reward you needed.

his other hand slid down your stomach and hooked into the string of your bikini bottoms, tugging them aside to expose your drenched pussy. his thumb brushed against your clit, and you moaned around his cock. “got your panties all wet, baby,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours as he began to pump into your mouth with a steady rhythm. you felt yourself getting wetter with every stroke, his roughness only adding to the thrill. the anticipation of what was to come was almost too much to handle.

his hand moved from your neck to the base of his cock, and he began to fuck your mouth in earnest, his eyes never leaving yours. the smell of your arousal filled the car, mixing with the salty scent of the sea breeze that filtered through the open windows. you could feel your orgasm building, but he knew it. he knew how close you were, and he wasn't about to let you cum that easily. “you're not getting off until i say so,” he warned, his thumb pressing harder against your clit, the promise of pleasure just out of reach.

his free hand slid down to your throat, his grip firm but not painful as he began to choke you. the air grew thinner, and your eyes watered, but you didn't fight it. instead, you leaned into the feeling, letting his dominance wash over you like a wave. the pressure built alongside your need for air and the pressure in your clit, creating a cocktail of sensations that made your head spin. he knew he was close, but he wasn’t going to dump his seed anywhere but inside you.

his thumb slid down, pressing hard against your clit, and you felt the orgasm start to build. your eyes widened, and you tried to moan around his cock, but the sound was muffled by his thick shaft. “just like that, fuck,” he grunted, his eyes dark with lust. “keep going, just a little bit more.”

his other hand left your neck to fist your hair, and he pulled you off his cock with a wet pop. your mouth was left gaping, and he smirked at the sight, his dick still hard and gleaming with your saliva. “need’a get a good look at you,” he murmured, his voice gruff with need. “should see how fucked you look, and ’m not even through with you.”

you whined, your knees hitting the sticky car floor with a thud as you positioned yourself over his hips. unfortunately, he was right. your lips were bruised, chin stained with spit, your make-up smeared, and your hair a mess. it only turned him on even more, his cock was now fully exposed, bobbing in front of your face, and he stroked it lazily as he watched you, the smugness in his gaze unmistakable. “you’re so fucking eager, aren’t you?” he said, his voice thick with satisfaction. “desperate to take all of me, to let me use you like the stupid bitch you are.”

his words only served to inflame the fire in your belly, and you nodded, your cheeks flushing with both embarrassment and arousal. “yeah,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “i’m your cocksleeve, nobody else’s.” his grip on your hair tightened, and he guided his cock back to your mouth. “prove it,” he demanded, pushing inside you until you gagged. your eyes watered as you struggled to accommodate him, but you didn’t pull away. instead, you took a deep breath and took him even deeper, feeling his cock hit the back of your throat.

his hand moved to your chin, and he slapped your pussy again, the sound echoing in the car. “you love this, don’t you?” he said, his voice a low growl. “love this first class slut specialty, huh?” you couldn't speak, but you nodded, your eyes pleading for him to keep going. he slapped you again, and again, the sting turning to pleasure, making your clit throb with each impact. the sound of your own wetness filled the air as he chuckled darkly, his grip on your hair never loosening.

his free hand slid down to your pussy, his fingers sliding through your juices before pushing inside you, curling up to hit your g-spot. you moaned, the feeling of being filled both in your mouth and in your cunt too much to bear, and you felt your orgasm start to crest. just as you were about to cum, he pulled out of your mouth, his hand moving from your neck to cover your mouth and nose. “not yet,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving yours. “not until i say you can.”

his thumb found your clit again, and he began to rub it in firm circles, the pressure building until you thought you would scream. “please, fuck, please,” you whined, your hips bucking against his hand. “please let me cum, need it so bad.”

his grin was feral as he leaned back against the car seat, watching you squirm. “who’s the one in charge here?” he asked, his voice a taunt. “who gets to decide when you get to come?”

you bit your lip, your eyes pleading with him as you nodded, the words leaving you in a rush. “you do,” you panted. “you do, jungkook.” his hand stilled, and he leaned in to whisper in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. “good girl, using your brain for once,” he cooed, his voice a sweet caress that belied the darkness in his words. “now, you can cum for me.”

his hand on your clit began to move again, faster this time, and you couldn't hold back the scream that tore from your throat. your orgasm washed over you like a tidal wave, making your body convulse as you came, hard and fast, your pussy clenching around his fingers. just as you thought it was over, you felt his thick fingers wrap around your thighs, turning you over as he positioned himself against your cunt from behind.

“jungkook, please, ’s too much,” you cried out, still coming down from your first orgasm as tears filled your eyes, but he had no intention to listen. you knew it the second you felt his fat, thick tip probing at your cunt, your back arching as his hands pulled at the flesh of your ass. he taunted you a bit, determined to hurt you as much as he could, pushing his tip in ever so slightly, before pulling right back out.

you felt like sobbing, the feeling all to much for you as you held onto the car door for dear life. “beg me,” he murmured, even if he needed to resist his own urges. “beg me to split this pussy open, baby, use your words.”

you didn’t want to, but the desperation in your voice was clear as you whimpered, “please, jungkook, fuck me. please, i need it so badly."

his hand tightened on your throat, and he thrust into you with no warning, filling you in one brutal stroke. you screamed out, the pain mixing with pleasure as he claimed you, your walls stretching to accommodate his size. “fuck, still as tight as you were when i popped your cherry,” he groaned, his hips pumping into you, his grip on your throat tightening just enough to make everything feel sharper. “this is what you want, isn’t it?”

you nodded frantically, the pressure on your neck making it difficult to speak. “yes,” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. “yes, fuck, it’s what i need.”

his thrusts grew more erratic, his breath coming in harsh pants as he fucked you against the car door. “ass bouncing ’gainst my fuckin’ balls,” he groaned, his voice strained as he delivered a harsh smack to the flesh of your ass. how you loved knowing he'd leave more than enough marks for everyone to see. “so fucking tight. i love how you grip me.”

you felt his hand slide down to your clit, his fingers moving in a way that had you seeing stars. “you're gonna cum for me again,” he said, his voice a command. “gonna cum while i'm filling your tight little pussy up, okay?” you nodded again, unable to form words, your eyes squeezed shut as he worked your body like a fiddle, playing you into a symphony of pleasure and pain. your moans grew louder, and you could feel the second orgasm building, a storm in your belly that threatened to consume you.

his hand on your neck loosened slightly, but before you could catch your breath, his mouth was on yours again, swallowing your cries as his cock pounded into you. every thrust seemed like borderline abuse, the tip of his cock slamming against your cervix with every move. he was so big, so fucking big, filling you up, making a mold of his cock with your insides. his thumb circled your clit faster, and you felt the wave of pleasure crest again, your body shuddering as you came a second time. your walls clamped down on his cock, and he groaned against your skin, his own climax following closely behind.

his orgasm was like nothing you had ever felt before, his hot cum filling you up as he held you down, his cock pulsing deep inside you. “fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted, his body shaking with the force of it. “so good, baby, so good.”

finally, he pulled out of you, his cum dripping down your thighs as you slumped against the car door, boneless and utterly spent. jungkook smirked as he looked down at the mess he had made of you, his cock still half hard, glistening with your juices. “see?” he said, his voice smug. “no one else can do that to you.”

⋆. 𐙚 ˚

a/n: i have a few things to talk about all of them very important obviously.

1. loossemble disbanding is crazy work!

2. i feel like we as a society failed to appreciate the cinematic masterpiece that is malcolm in the middle.

3. i had a wet dream abt revenge of the sith anakin last night.

4. i am the only person who watched the oc ever and if u watched it i watched it better than u.

5. i know u got a fat ASS 💜 u know i love a fat ASS 💜

6. In Korea, you can't eat until the elders eat. Ningning is the maknae, which means she's the youngest, and the fact that she ate first is crazy. I'm not trying to be – I'm not trying to be messy, I promise you. I'm just saying, that's crazy.

141 notes · View notes

glossdebut · 12 days ago

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PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ 03

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SERIES SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed it’d be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, you’re helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like you’re doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you.

✧ SERIES TAGS: enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut, fake/pretend relationship (not main couple), rockstar!yoongi, model!reader, guitarist yoongi, singer jungkook, bassist taehyung, drummer jimin, manager namjoon, yoongi & maknae line are in a rock band, reader & seokjin are best friends, yoongi & hoseok are best friends (sope duo ftw), yoongi has a tongue piercing, reader is a brat

✧ CHAPTER TAGS/WARNINGS: THE JEJU TRIP BEGINS!, JK is clueless and a little bit annoying, jimin and taehyung are meddlers, seokjin wishes he was fishing, yoongi is a bitch as per usual, aqua uses ANOTHER arctic monkeys song as a plot device, A BIG REVEAL OF SORTS!, idk a lot of stuff happens in this chapter, the exposition is expositioning (see series masterlist for series warnings)

✧ CHAPTER WORDCOUNT: 7.4k words

✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi everyone! happy belated taehyung day and happy new year! writing this chapter kicked my ass. it sat at 1k-ish words for almost the ENTIRE month until i miraculously busted out the final 6.4k in less than 48 hours. but it’s hereeeeee! a big thank you to tanni @yooniivrse for beta reading and mj @kkaetnipjeon for answering my many, many questions about jeju <3

P.S. the jeju house in this is modeled after an airbnb i found online (with a few alterations to fit my perception of yoongi’s taste) so if my description isn’t enough for you to picture it, here is the link to the house i modeled it after!

P.P.S. i finally got my taglist sorted out! if your username is missing at this point, it means i straight up don’t have it. comment and/or fill out my taglist form if you want to be added!

CH. 03: WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

Jeju is a big change of pace for you.

You spend your days in Seoul with little reason to step outside of city limits. It’s so big, offering anything and everything you could possibly need. When you do happen to travel, it’s always for work, and always to some other booming metropolis. It’s difficult to recall the last time you’d been surrounded by such lush greenery as opposed to the impenetrable walls of slate grey you’ve grown accustomed to.

It feels like a miracle that your manager, Seoyeon, was able to swing this for you, even if there are a few strings. You’re still technically working—you always are, whether it’s through the brand of clothes you’re seen wearing or the model of car you’re seen leaving the airport in. A walking advertisement. But still, she’s managed to finesse things so you don’t have any shoots lined up for the next few weeks.

You don’t think you’ve been to Jeju since your last trip with Seokjin, the summer after you graduated high school. A trip that Seokjin spent fishing and you spent sunning. And the two of you, funded by the money Seokjin had saved up during his second year of college, certainly weren’t staying in a place like this.

Yoongi’s house in Seogwipo is far from what you imagined.

It’s huge, but you knew to expect that, at least. Two floors, four bedrooms, three bathrooms. More than enough space to accommodate a rock band and their instruments (and their egos), which is why it was purchased in the first place.

But given what you know about Yoongi, and the fact that the band only comes here when they need to write an album, you weren’t expecting it to be so… homey.

The walls are painted a soft sage green. Dark wooden furnishings, splashes of charcoal grey and cream. A screened-in patio on the first floor that leads to a gorgeous garden with a wooden (and from the looks of it, hand-built) free standing swing. A terrace on the second floor with a beautiful view of the surrounding beach village.

There are fucking houseplants all over the place, thriving in the natural light the many windows offer. It looks like somebody lives here, even though you’d bet your left tit that Yoongi doesn’t.

It doesn’t look to his taste, or at least what you’d imagine his taste to be. Dark and minimalistic, rather than dark and cozy. Cold, clinical. Yoongi’s apartment is probably as inviting as a hotel suite.

Maybe Yoongi owns it, but Namjoon maintains it. That’d make sense.

You think about asking, just to satisfy your own curiosity, but as everyone disperses to drop their bags, you decide it’s not worth it. Namjoon is preoccupied with his managerial duties, unloading equipment and instruments from the car, and nothing good seems to ever come out of talking to Yoongi anyway.

Jeongguk, ever the gentleman, wrenches your bags from your hands before you even get a chance to figure out which room you’ll be staying in. Hefting the strap of a duffel bag over his shoulder, extra large rolling suitcases in each hand, he carries everything up the stairs with alarming ease, leaving you no choice but to follow. He has your bags, after all.

You follow him silently into a bedroom on the second floor. It’s only when he tosses all of the bags onto the bed that you realize, with shocking clarity, that you and Jeongguk are expected to share a room.

This room. Which only has one bed. Because happy couples sleep in the same bed.

“You okay?” Jeongguk asks, the sound of his voice effectively tearing your eyes away from the mattress-shaped elephant in the room.

You really need to get better at keeping control of your facial features, instead of looking like you’re going to be sick at every perceived complication.

“Is, um,” you start, pointing at the bed. “Are we…?”

Realization crosses over Jeongguk’s face as his gaze follows the direction of your finger.

“Oh, fuck,” he huffs, big boba eyes widening. “I didn’t really think about it, to be honest with you.”

Well, that’s not very reassuring.

“Oh,” you say, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, even though you’re feeling very much the opposite.

Being on this trip is bad enough. You already feel like you’re intruding on something you’ll never really be a part of, despite all of Jeongguk’s insistence that you being in Jeju with him will do wonders for your story’s credibility. But the idea of sharing a bed with him is just… It’s too much. It’s too real.

Somewhere in a hospital back in Seoul, Seokjin is laughing at your expense. You can sense it.

“It’s fine,” Jeongguk says, waving his hand dismissively.

“Jeongguk,” you huff. You don’t want to be a bitch, but you can’t help but get frustrated—on behalf of yourself and his girlfriend, who you’re allegedly doing all of this bullshit for in the first place. He’s been here, has lived in this house for weeks on end as long as they’ve been writing albums here. He should’ve known this would be a problem.

“I don’t think your girlfriend would like it very much if she knew we’d be sharing a bed while we’re here.”

“I’ll figure it out,” he says, apparently oblivious to the irritation that’s starting to come off of you in waves. “I’m sure there’s a couch I can move in here or something.”

“Okay,” you say stiffly. You’re unconvinced, but if he wants to figure out how to move a couch in here unnoticed, that’s up to him.

“Seriously,” Jeongguk insists, squeezing your shoulder in reassurance. “I’ll take care of it. Come on, let’s go back downstairs.”

“You go ahead,” you say, shaking your head. “I’m gonna unpack a little before I head down.”

Jeongguk shrugs, leaving the room without fighting you on it. Thank god, too. You need a few minutes to decompress before you willingly head back into the belly of the beast.

Shit, this was a bad idea. This was all a bad idea, and you just keep going along with it because you’re incapable of saying ‘no’ where Jeon Jeongguk is concerned.

Meeting the band after their last concert was one thing. A necessary evil, in order to sell all of this. Even hijacking their tour wrap dinner wasn’t that big of a deal—it certainly felt good to put Yoongi in his place, you have no problem admitting that.

But this? Sharing a house with the other members who all think you’re someone you’re not, just for some airport pictures? A few Instagram posts? It feels like you’re both taking things too far.

And then there’s Yoongi.

Yoongi, who hasn’t spoken a word to anyone since the plane took off from Incheon. You didn’t think so many questions could be answered with hums and grunts, but you’re almost impressed by how wrong he’s proven you. It’s all in the inflection, it seems.

He’s pissed. Whether it’s still about the dinner, or just the fact that you’re here at all, you don’t know. Normally, you’d jump at the chance to piss him off further, just on principle. But being in such close quarters like this…. All a pissed Yoongi is going to do is cause more problems for you.

You’re deliberating on whether or not proposing a truce would be worth it when you finally leave the bedroom, heading towards the stairs.

Everyone seems to be doing their own part in setting up for the trip. Namjoon and Jeongguk are outside clearing out what remains in the car, visible through the glass of the front door. Taehyung is pacing around the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets and recording his findings in the notes app of his phone. And…

Speak of the devil. Yoongi is helping Jimin set up his drum kit in the middle of the living room, right smack in front of your face as you reach the foot of the staircase.

Since you’ve been upstairs, he’s shed the stupid black puffy coat he was wearing at the airport. The sweater that was underneath too, it seems, leaving him down to a long-sleeved white thermal.

It makes sense–-Jeju is more temperate than Seoul, and the heat is blasting in the house anyway.

He’s sprawled out on the floor, on his back as he attaches the legs to the kick drum while Jimin deals with the toms. It’s not as if drum kit assembly is particularly interesting to you. You don’t know why you stop and look, but you do.

Yoongi is always so buttoned up, both metaphorically and literally. Especially with the chill that’s been permeating Seoul for the past two months. Everyone’s been drowning in layers—except you, thanks to Hyerin. And it’s so, so stupid, but the hem of Yoongi’s shirt is bunched up just the slightest bit as he reaches for a screwdriver. It’s just the faintest hint of pale skin, right above the waistband of his jeans, but it’s more than you’ve ever seen from him. For some reason, you just can’t bring yourself to look away.

But then he adjusts and its gone, forcing you to snap out of whatever bizarre reverie you’ve found yourself in.

When you glance up, he’s staring right back at you. Your eyes zero in on his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip, just a flash of the little silver barbell there before it’s gone again. His eyebrow raises in recognition, like he’s caught you doing something you shouldn’t.

…Are you doing something you shouldn’t?

“You’re doing that wrong,” you blurt, relief flooding you when he breaks first, his head swiveling to look over his handiwork with a furrowed brow.

Your diversion gives you enough time to sneak away towards the kitchen. Yoongi’s muttered ‘what the fuck do you know’ reaches your heated ears as you pass by, but you have no choice but to let it go.

What the fuck. You really need to get laid if an inch of skin can make heat crawl up your neck like this. From Min Yoongi, no less.

★ ★ ★

Time spent hiding in the kitchen reveals the method to Taehyung’s cabinet-snooping madness: building a grocery list.

Once your little freakout subsides, you’re fully briefed on the process, joining him in taking stock of what’s here and what isn’t. To your surprise, many of the shelf-friendly basics have been kept in full stock, leaving mostly perishables (meats, vegetables, and fruits) to be added to the list. After Taehyung’s phone is passed around for everyone’s additions, Namjoon and Yoongi roll out to go grocery shopping at a nearby market.

It isn’t lost on you that the pair are acting a bit strangely towards each other—and it can’t just be because of what went down at the dinner. Ever since you met the band at Incheon, they’ve given Yoongi a noticeably wide berth. But the maknaes still talked to him, despite the lackluster responses (grunts) they received in return.

Even Jeongguk has been interacting with Yoongi, and he was the one who drove him out of Yoojung Sikdang in the first place! You haven’t seen Namjoon look his way all day. He still isn’t, you note, as you watch their car retreat through the window.

Weird.

Not that you care, of course. Yoongi deserved what he got at that dinner, as far as you’re concerned. You don’t regret calling those reporters. You told Seokjin you wanted to make his life a living hell, and you’d meant it.

But still, you can’t help the guilt that gnaws at you at the possibility that you’re playing the part of Yoko Ono. You’re sure Yoongi thinks so.

Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi. Who gives a fuck? It’s not like you’re here for him. You’re here for Jeongguk. You just need to put him out of your mind, you decide.

You make your way through the house, intent on finding Jeongguk to help with whatever else needs to get done tonight, when you’re ambushed by two maknaes that are clearly up to no good.

“YN-ieeee,” Jimin sing-songs. There’s a mischievous look in his eye as he grabs you by the hand and pulls you towards the living room.

“Come sit with us,” Taehyung insists, plopping himself down on the couch and patting the space next to him.

“I was actually looking for Jeongguk,” you say, eyeing both of them. But you relent anyway, stiffly sitting down on the couch where they now flank you.

“He gets you all the time,” Jimin says. He smiles brightly, turning his body towards you and tilting his head as he studies you. “It’s our turn. We have a question for you.”

Oh, you do not like this one bit.

“A question?”

“A question,” Taehyung repeats, nodding.

“Okay, um,” you start, unsure of which one of them to look at. You settle on Taehyung, because he’s far less menacing. “Go ahead?”

“What’s going on with you and Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin asks.

Fuck. So much for putting him out of your mind.

It’s a fair question, but still, your head turns so fast in Jimin’s direction that you swear you hear a crack in your neck.

“Wh-what? What do you mean?”

“The animosity,” Jimin purrs. He’s still grinning at you, all charming teeth and deceptively cute mochi cheeks. “You both just met, right? Where’d that come from?”

This is a nightmare.

It’s not like you can tell them the truth, as much as you may want to. Until you can figure out exactly what it is Yoongi claims to know about you, he pretty much has you backed into a corner. Plus, you’ll be living with him for at least a few weeks. You’re not against ruining his time here in small, inconsequential ways, but this is decidedly not that.

You’ll keep the peace. For now.

“I think Yoongi-ssi and I just got off on the wrong foot,” you explain. It’s not a complete lie, to be fair. “I’ve been meaning to talk to him about what happened at Yoojung Sikdang…”

“That was ugly,” Taehyung says, wincing at the memory.

“Yeah,” Jimin agrees. “Does he really think the photographers were your fault?”

Yes, because they were.

“I guess so,” you sigh. “I don’t blame him, honestly. I would’ve thought the same if I were him. I feel really bad about the whole thing.”

“Don’t,” Taehyung says emphatically as he clasps one of your hands in his. If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Taehyung since you’ve met him, it’s that he’s not very big on personal space. He’s so casual about it, though, that you’re finding you don’t mind all that much.

“We can talk to him if you want us to,” Jimin says. “Yoongi-hyung can be a real asshole when he puts his mind to it, and you don’t deserve that.”

“No! No, it’s fine,” you insist, trying not to panic. For whatever reason, Yoongi has kept his suspicions about you between the two of you. As far as you know, at least. You’d like to keep it that way. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Are you sure?” Jimin asks, eyeing you.

“I’m sure.”

Thankfully, they both seemingly let it go after that. When Jeongguk reappears, he joins the three of you on the couch and the conversation moves to safer topics, all of them excitedly chattering to you about what they plan to do while they’re in Jeju.

Apparently, the four always make a point to visit a nearby citrus orchard when they come here. It sounds fun, and for the first time since Jeongguk invited you, you allow yourself to feel the slightest bit of excitement about this trip. You can’t help it. You fucking love tangerines.

Namjoon and Yoongi return from the market an hour or so later.

Namjoon enlists the help of the maknaes to help him haul bags of groceries inside, leaving you to hover awkwardly as Yoongi moves around the kitchen.

He and Namjoon must’ve talked or something. He looks much more at peace than he did when they left. At least, until he catches you staring.

“What?” Yoongi asks, narrowing his eyes at you as he procures a cutting board from a cabinet.

“Just wondering if you need any help,” you say, a practiced, saccharine smile on your face.

“From you?” he scoffs. “I’m good.”

“At least I offered.”

“You’re a regular Mother Teresa.”

You roll your eyes as you watch him pull what he needs from the knifeblock, silently praying he cuts one of his precious guitar-playing fingers off. But your intent to voice that hope is thwarted by Namjoon and the rest of the members ambling back inside, arms full of grocery bags.

Yoongi clearly doesn’t want you lingering, so after you help clear off the counter, you make yourself scarce until dinner is done.

You busy yourself with texting Seokjin with an update on how things are going. You know he’s probably at work, so you try to keep it as succinct as possible despite everything that’s happened since you’ve arrived—Yoongi’s icy behavior, the confusion surrounding your sleeping arrangement, the (resolved?) tension between Namjoon and Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung’s interrogation.

And then, because you want him to at least envy you a little bit, you send him pictures of the house—and then brag about your proximity to fish.

You: we’re like a 5 min walk from a fishing port too lol

A few minutes later, your phone buzzes, and you can’t help your snort at his response. It’s a selca of him pouting in his scrubs, covered in stickers of an agonized Mario.

SuckJin: I h8 u

You: <3

The rest of the night goes smoothly, all things considered. Yoongi’s maeun-tang is delicious, which is slightly annoying, but you’re not one to take good food for granted. Plus, the two of you are a lot more amicable during this dinner than the last one you shared together.

After dinner, everyone finishes setting up the equipment in the living room, which quickly turns into an impromptu jam session under the guise of testing the setup. It’s nice, being able to watch them play together without the pressure of a stage, of a crowd. They’re just fooling around, playing whatever sounds right, joking back and forth—and you get to witness it.

You’re just about to get out of their hair and head upstairs when Jeongguk gets up, intercepting you before you reach the staircase.

“Hey,” he says softly, tilting his head towards the patio. “Come outside with me?”

Wordlessly, you nod, confused as you follow him outside. Jeongguk guides you over to the swing you were admiring when you’d all arrived. You can’t help but notice how nervous he looks as you both sit, but you try not to assume the worst.

“I feel like you were kinda mad at me,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Earlier.”

About the bed? Yeah, kind of. But you didn’t realize you’d made it so obvious.

“It’s fine,” you insist, shaking your head. “I was more flustered than anything, honestly. I just don’t want to get you into trouble.”

“You won’t,” he huffs, smiling a little. “I moved a couch into our room while Yoongi and Namjoon-hyung were gone. Like I said I would.”

Oh. Well. Now you kind of feel like a bitch.

“I’ll take it,” you offer. “You’re the one who’s here for work, anyway. I’d feel bad if I didn’t—”

“No, I’ll take it,” Jeongguk says, ignoring your responding huff. “Come on, YN-ah. I’ll barely be working while we’re here, anyway. It always goes the same way: Yoongi-hyung pretends like he’s going to let us help, and then he writes the entire album by himself. The rest of us are basically on vacation.”

“Besides, you’re here as a favor to me,” he adds. “Let me take the couch.”

You want to protest, but once Jeon Jeongguk sets his mind to something, it’s pretty much impossible for anyone to stand in his way.

“Fine.”

“Speaking of Yoongi-hyung…”

You groan, leaning your head back against the support of the swing. Everyone wants to talk about Min fucking Yoongi today. “What about him?”

“Is he playing nice?”

“He’s barely spoken to me,” you mutter, turning your head to level Jeongguk with a look. “So yes, he’s playing very nice. For him.”

“What’s his deal with you?” he asks, curious. Isn’t that just the question of the day?

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you say. “Jeongguk, it’s fine. Seriously. He doesn’t like me, I don’t like him, but I’m dealing with it. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Jeongguk clearly disagrees, but he holds it in, which you’re thankful for. At least you can be more candid with him than you can with Jimin and Taehyung.

“Just let me know if that changes, okay?”

“I will,” you mumble.

“Let me know if anything changes,” he corrects, nudging your shoulder with his. “Like… If you don’t want to do this anymore. I know it’s a lot.”

“It is,” you agree, sighing. “But nothing’s changed, Guk. I’ve dealt with assholes before. Min Yoongi is nothing compared to the worst of them.”

If only he could know just how much you mean that.

“I just wish you two could get along,” he says, fiddling with his lip ring nervously. “Yoongi-hyung is a good guy when you get to know him. I’ve never seen him like this before.”

You don’t know what to say to that, partially because you have a hard time believing it. You have absolutely zero evidence that Yoongi is a good guy, and you’re more likely to believe that they’ve all just known each other way too long. That Jeongguk is blinded by admiration for his hyung.

“I’m sorry,” you say, because it’s all you have to offer. “I wish we could get along, too.”

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, the swing rocking your bodies back and forth. But you can only take it for so long.

“I’m gonna head up. You coming?”

“No,” Jeongguk says, shaking his head as you stand up. “You go ahead. I’ll be in later.”

You feel bad for leaving him alone when he’s so clearly upset, but you know there’s nothing you can say or do to fix it. Just another thing outside of your control. They’re piling up, aren’t they?

You offer him a sympathetic smile, and then you head inside, leaving him with his thoughts.

★ ★ ★

You’re up bright and early the next morning, a full afternoon of Teams meetings ahead of you. Luckily it’s nothing too laborious—some planning for your schedule prior in light of the new year, calls that were scheduled long before you were invited to Jeju.

Jeongguk didn’t make it in before you fell asleep last night. You find that he’s already gone when you wake, too, blankets left in disarray on the couch he’s wedged into the corner of the room.

Guiltily, you resign yourself to staying locked in the bedroom until you’re done with your work. It’s only right to give him time with his hyungs, something he obviously needs after your conversation last night. You’re happy to leave him be, if that’s what he needs.

You’d set your alarm with plenty of time to scroll aimlessly on your phone before you need to get up, so you do just that, reading through missed texts and Instagram notifications in a groggy haze. After, you wash your face and brush your teeth in the adjoining bathroom before setting your laptop up on the bed.

Your calls go fine, although you’re bored to tears the whole time. You don’t know why Seoyeon even adds you to these things—it’s not like you have any control over your career. They might as well cut out the middleman and brief you on their decisions via email. But instead, you silently snack on a power bar you find stashed in your bag as your life for the next calendar year is mapped out for you, smiling and nodding when necessary.

As time passes, you lose track of how many faces have cycled through your screen. You stay glued to the same spot call after call, your stiffened legs pins and needles underneath you, and you only register how much time has passed when the bedroom door swings open.

“Hey. You in a meeting?”

Your eyes snap up from your laptop to find Jeongguk poking his head into the bedroom. With a quick glance to your calendar, you realize you’ve just finished your last call of the day, and it’s not even two in the afternoon.

“No, I’m all done,” you say, shutting your laptop and waving him in. “What’s up?”

“Namjoon-hyung’s gotta go back to Seoul, so we’re taking him to the airport,” Jeongguk says, kicking the door closed behind him and sitting on the edge of the bed. “And then we’re gonna fuck around in Jeju City for a little bit. See the sights and all.”

“Oh, okay.”

Is this an invite, or…?

“Yoongi-hyung’s staying, though.”

Fuck. Nope, not an invite.

“Is he,” you hum, acting as unbothered as possible.

“We got some songs started today,” Jeongguk says, studying your expression for a moment. “The rest of us are burnt out, but he wants to keep going.”

“Well, do you want me to join you guys, or—”

“I want you to stay and talk to him.”

There it is.

“Jeongguk,” you huff, a protest on the tip of your tongue.

“YN, it’s worth a shot! Maybe if you two have a chance to talk you’ll find out you have more in common than you think.”

“I don’t think he’ll be happy if I interrupt his songwriting to have some kind of Kumbaya moment, Guk,” you sigh.

Jeongguk stands up from the bed, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Can’t you at least try?” he says, his voice clipped as he paces. “Both of you are so fucking stubborn. Maybe you can bond over that.”

He’s one to talk about being stubborn, but whatever. You’ll let it slide, only because you feel so fucking guilty.

A long moment passes, and at your silence Jeongguk stops in his tracks to look at you expectantly. Fuck. Fuck this man and his stupid big brown eyes.

“I can’t promise you anything,” you finally say.

“Like I said, I just want you to try.”

He’s still tense, but at the hint of acquiescence from you, he softens. And that little bit of softness is enough for you to fully give.

“Fine,” you huff. You can already feel a migraine coming on.

“Thank you,” he beams, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Yeah, yeah,” you say, patting his back. Your heart flutters just the slightest bit because you’re a weak, weak woman. “Just don’t get your hopes up, okay?”

“I won’t!” he promises, pulling away with a bright grin. Hopes absolutely all the way up.

Goddammit. You hope Yoongi is feeling talkative today, because if not, you’re going to be the one crushing this poor guy’s dreams.

At this point, you’ll make him talk if you have to. Anything to keep that from happening.

“Go,” you say, nudging him towards the door. “I can’t talk to him until you guys leave.”

He clearly doesn’t need any more motivation than that, because then he’s out the door.

“You’re the best, YN!” he calls as he books it down the hallway, leaving you to flop back onto the bed with a groan.

Well. You’ve fucked yourself now.

***

You allow yourself the luxury of taking a shower before you head downstairs to face Yoongi. Maybe part of you is trying to prolong your peace, but you also haven’t felt clean since you got off the plane yesterday.

Still, you take your time, giving your hair a thorough wash and meticulously applying your skincare. By the time you dry off and exit the bathroom, a large cloud of steam follows you into the bedroom, still lingering in the air as you pull on some clean clothes.

What’s the right outfit to wear while you’re waving a white flag at your sworn enemy? Will a sweater and jeans cut it? You reason that you might as well be comfortable for this, settling on something soft and cashmere for the top—because you’re worth it!—and then pulling on a baggy pair of blue jeans.

Your socked feet finally pad down the stairs in search of the man himself, but you don’t have to look very far.

Yoongi sits cross-legged on the floor in the living room, his signature custom McCarty laid across his lap as he scribbles in the notebook in front of him, brow furrowed.

You know it’s not going to be easy to get him to talk, but you can’t help but feel annoyed when you sit down in front of him and he doesn’t even lift his head. Asshole.

“Yoongi,” you say, waving your hand in front of his face.

It doesn’t make him look at you, still scribbling away, but you at least get a grunt in return this time. You’ll take it.

“Don’t you think you should take a break?” you say. It’s obvious you’re fishing, but looking at him, it’s clear he needs one anyway. He looks exhausted. Did he even sleep? Or did he start working when everyone else called it a night? He’s not wearing the same clothes from last night, white thermal replaced with a black t-shirt and matching beanie, but that doesn’t mean he slept.

Not that you care.

“No.”

Okay, you expected that. God forbid he make things easy for you.

You watch as he drops his pen, gaze still on his open notebook as he strums at the strings of his guitar, humming a half-baked melody under his breath.

“Why’d you pick Jeju?” you ask, satisfaction swelling when he glances up, meeting your eyes. But then it fizzles out when he looks away again.

The seconds tick by and he remains as tight-lipped as ever. Annoyed and antsy, you resort to filling the silence yourself, hoping you’ll get him to break if you just keep talking.

“I mean, it’s nice here, but you guys could write an album anywhere. There’s gotta be a reason you picked here, of all places.”

More silence. You want to give up—you could give up. You could easily tell Jeongguk you tried, and it wouldn’t necessarily be a lie. But you owe it to him to try harder.

Huffing, you reach out and close the notebook between your sitting bodies, earning a sharp glare from the man in front of you.

“C’mon, Yoongi,” you plead. “I’m really trying to get to know you here.”

With a long sigh, Yoongi looks up at the ceiling, his eyes rolling dramatically.

“Okay, fine,” he concedes. “If it’ll get you to shut the fuck up. What do you wanna know?”

Triumphantly, you ask about the house—if you’re going to be forced to make nice, you might as well ask questions you actually want to know the answers to. Who actually owns this house and why seems like as good a place to start as any.

“I own it,” Yoongi says. It seems like he’s going to try and leave it at that, but when you fix him with a withering stare, he continues with a sigh. “It used to be an Airbnb, but after our first stay I wanted it for myself. So once I had enough money from the first album, I negotiated with the owner. Bought it for a ridiculous price, but it’s mine.”

“It looks so well-maintained,” you offer, hoping he’ll continue if you resort to flattery. Plus, it’s true.

“I didn’t just buy it for us,” he says opening his notebook again. It doesn’t go unnoticed that he slides it out of your reach. “My family uses it sometimes, like a vacation home. When I was growing up, they always talked about taking family trips here during the summer, but money was too tight most of the time. Now they can come whenever they want.”

Oh. That’s… actually kind of sweet. Huh.

To your surprise, he entertains more of your questions without a fight. Where does his family live? (Daegu.) Does he have any siblings? (An older brother.) Is the swing outside really handbuilt? (Yes.) Who built it? (Yoongi did.)

His answers are succinct, but at the very least you’ve got him talking. As he continues to strum his guitar, you decide to push your luck and switch topics, hoping he’ll continue to play along.

“What are you working on?”

Yoongi grins, meeting your eyes again. “I’m writing a song for you.”

Uh oh.

He’s fucking with you, right?

All kinds of alarms are going off in your head, but still, you can’t help yourself. “Is that so?”

“Mhm. Listen.”

Without missing a beat, Yoongi starts playing the chords he’s been half-heartedly strumming since you sat down, this time in earnest. And then, his gravelly voice fills your ears as he sings the lyrics he has written down in front of him.

Well, it's ever so funny 'Cause I don't think you're special, I don't think you're cool You're just probably alright But under these lights you look beautiful And I'm struggling, I can't see through your fake tan Yeah, and you know it for a fact that everybody's eating out of your hands

But what do you know? Oh, you know nothing Yeah, but I'll still take you home

What. The. Fuck.

Is this why he’s been entertaining you this whole time? Was it all just a set-up for the most insulting punchline you’ve ever heard in your life?

He doesn’t even bother to suppress his laughter when you snatch his notebook and throw it clear across the room.

“You are such an asshole!” you shout, surging forward to push roughly at his chest.

“Come on, dollface,” he says, shoulders shaking with the force of his laughter. “It was funny.”

“The fuck it was,” you snap, scrambling to your feet. Fuck this. You can really say you’ve tried now, and you don’t think Jeongguk would blame you one bit for calling it quits after Yoongi’s little show.

You turn on your heel, ready to run upstairs and lock yourself in your room until the maknaes get home, when you feel a strong hand grab your elbow. You don’t know when Yoongi got up, but before you can react, you’re whirled around to face him with your back pressed against the banister.

“I knew you were boring, but I thought you’d at least have a sense of humor.”

“Fuck you,” you say through gritted teeth, jerking your elbow out of his grasp. He lets go easily, but for some reason, you don’t move. You don’t retreat up the stairs. Instead, you stand stock still as the both of you stare at each other, your chest rising and falling with your anger-fueled breaths.

Just like he had when he caught you staring yesterday, Yoongi raises an eyebrow at you. A challenge.

“What’s your problem with me?” you manage, unsure of what to do with the way he’s staring you down. Why is he so close to you? Why can’t you bring yourself to move away?

“Stupid question. I’ve been pretty clear about that.”

“No, seriously,” you snap, jabbing your index finger into the center of his chest. “You said you know more about me than I think. What do you know?”

Silence. Nothing but a stupid, amused smirk plastered on his face. Of course. If he wants you to play a guessing game, you will. Not knowing exactly what he’s holding over your head is driving you insane, and you can’t do it anymore.

“Do you know about the photos?” you ask, your voice weak now.

Yoongi blinks at you, bewildered.

“Huh?”

You let out the breath that you were holding. Thank fuck. Thank fuck. Okay, he doesn’t know. Holy shit, you’ve never felt so relieved.

Shaking your head, you soldier on, despite your overwhelming urge to throw up. Your mind wanders to the lyrics he sang to you just a few moments ago. I'll still take you home. Instead of the power bar you ate earlier, a sudden bark of a laugh escapes your throat, visibly startling Yoongi.

“Do you want to fuck me or something? Is that what this is about?” It’s your turn to be amused now, especially when Yoongi sputters and turns bright pink right in front of your eyes. “You’re jealous that Jeongguk got to me first?”

“The fuck? Are you insane?”

“If that’s not it, what the hell is it, Yoongi? What could I have possibly done to make you hate me so much?”

Huffing, Yoongi crosses his arms over his chest. It’s clear that he’s torn about whether or not he should lay all of his cards on the table right now, but you’re not giving him much of a choice. You’re so wired that you might strangle him if he decides to bite his tongue.

Finally, he speaks.

“I just happen to be pretty good friends with Yoo Kihyun.”

Just like that, your hard-earned upper hand disappears and your stomach drops to your goddamn ass.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

There’s a name you haven’t heard in a while.

It’s satisfying, seeing you falter.

In fact, it makes Yoongi feel all the more justified in the way he feels about you. He’d started to doubt himself after his phone call with Namjoon last week, but if just the sound of Kihyun’s name makes you look like you’re about to shit your pants, he must be on the right track.

“I… Oh,” you say, dumbstruck.

Yeah, Yoongi’s fucking caught your ass.

“Good enough explanation for you?” he asks, smug. Rightfully so, too, he thinks.

But then you’re grabbing him by the wrist, glancing around like someone’s going to fucking overhear you or something. Like it’s not just the two of you here.

“Come here,” you hiss as you drag him to the nearest bedroom, which just so happens to be his, slamming the door shut behind you.

Yoongi watches with amusement as you pace around the room, but his patience is wearing thin. He has shit to do.

“If you have more of your stupid fucking questions, just ask them,” he snaps. “You’re wasting my time.”

“What did Kihyun say about me?”

Ah. Wouldn’t you like to know?

But he’ll tell you, only because he’s feeling nice. You’ve put him in a good mood.

“Mostly that you were a shit girlfriend,” Yoongi says, smirking at you as he shrugs.

“I—”

“Felt bad for the guy, honestly. I’ve known him for years, you know, and he’s had plenty of girlfriends. He’s a good looking guy. But I’d never seen him so fucked up over a girl until he started dating you.”

“Yoongi…”

“And then one day, he calls me out of the blue, right? It wasn’t the first time he’d complained to me about you, and I figured I was in for more of the same,” he says, leaning back against the door as you perch at the end of his bed, wobbly. “But he said something pretty interesting, actually.”

“What?” you ask. Your voice is shaky. Yoongi grins.

“He told me he thought you were using him,” he says. “You barely talked to him, never took interest in anything he liked. Hardly spent time with him.” He pauses, before adding, “unless there were cameras involved. It’s a reasonable conclusion to draw, don’t you think?”

When you remain silent, Yoongi’s more than happy to continue.

“I tell him he shouldn’t have to take that shit, you know? It’s not fair. He’s a really good guy. So he tells me he’s going to invite you over, at least give you a chance to explain yourself before he dumps you. He didn’t want it to be a big thing, wanted to end things quietly.”

You whimper at that, your head in your hands now.

“Next thing I know, I’m seeing headline after headline,” he says, tilting his head at you. “And less than twenty four hours later, you’re at an award show, putting on this pitiful act for sympathy.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say. Yoongi can’t help but laugh.

“I don’t think Kihyun was lying to me,” he says, matter-of-fact. “He’s not that type of guy. Everyone knows that. Admit it, you were using him. And now you’re doing the same thing to Jeongguk.”

When you look up, you have tears in your eyes. Yoongi’s gotta hand it to you, your acting is getting much better.

“I was a shit girlfriend,” you concede, sniffling. “But I wasn’t using Kihyun.”

Okay. He’ll bite.

“Why even bother dating him, then? You obviously didn’t like him that much.”

“I just—” you cut yourself off, taking a shaky breath. “He was nice. That’s hard to come by.”

“Too boring for you in the end, then?”

Yoongi expects you to snap at him, to get angry, but instead you let out a watery little laugh.

“Yeah, something like that.”

Hm. Okay.

He’s not sure what to do with that.

“Look,” you say, wiping at your eyes as you stand up from his bed. “I don’t know how to convince you that you’re wrong about me, and I’m honestly sick of trying. You want to hate me? Fine. I hate you, too.”

At least they can agree on something, Yoongi thinks.

“But Jeongguk asked me to talk to you,” you add. “He’s hurting.”

God fucking dammit. Yeah, Yoongi noticed how fucked up Jeongguk looked when he finally came inside last night. Part of him was hoping that you two had gotten into it, that Jeongguk was about to buy you a one-way ticket back to Seoul.

But no. It was about him.

Fuck.

“Can’t we just pretend to get along? For his sake?” you ask. “Call a truce, at least as long as I’m here?”

Shit. You really care about him.

Yoongi’s still not convinced the relationship isn’t bullshit, but this doesn’t seem like acting. He thinks about what Namjoon said over the phone, about the idea of losing Jeongguk over something so stupid.

Pretending to get along with you while you’re in Jeju wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Not if it means he gets to keep Jeongguk. He can always have a heart-to-heart with the kid after you fly home.

With a sigh, Yoongi relents. “Fine. But I still don’t fucking trust you.”

“Whatever,” you mutter, holding out your hand for him to shake. Reluctantly, Yoongi takes it.

“Great,” he says, dropping your hand in an instant. “Can I go back to work now?”

“Do what you want,” you say, shoving past him to open his bedroom door.

And then you’re gone.

★ ★ ★

Yoongi doesn’t see you for the rest of the day, but even as he works, you invade every single one of his thoughts. The songwriting streak he’d been on since last night comes to a grinding halt, leaving him with nothing to show for his day alone.

When the kids get back, rowdy and excited, Yoongi’s guitar is long forgotten as he lays across the couch. Lost in thought, he only lifts his head when Jeongguk makes a beeline straight for him.

“YN talked to you?” Jeongguk asks hopefully, and Yoongi’s heart clenches.

A truce.

Well, no better time than now to start.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, forcing the corners of his mouth to lift up in what he hopes is a convincing smile. “Yeah, Guk-ah. We’re all good.”

Relief flashes over Jeongguk’s face, and for the first time since Yoojung Sikdang, Yoongi’s on the receiving end of one of his genuine, big grins. He feels bad lying to the kid, but it’s not like you’ve left him with much choice. And it feels good to be the recipient of one of those again.

Still, Yoongi can’t help but think about what you’d said earlier.

Yoongi might’ve shown his hand, but in a way you did, too. The photos? What the fuck did you mean by that? Is there something out there that can point to your guilt, and all Yoongi has to do is go digging for it?

Not to mention your resigned agreement when he guessed Kihyun was too nice for you, too boring. Maybe he can’t use Kihyun against you like he thought he could, but the way you’d looked at Yoongi when he was setting up Jimin’s drums…

That he can use.

He’ll hold up his end of the truce, so long as you do the same.

But you can’t blame him for wanting to know the truth.

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cybrsan · 1 year ago

Text

Miracle Of The Season — J.JK

STORY SUMMARY: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. When a familiar face pops up, you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

PAIRING: Angel Jungkook x Fallen Angel F!Reader

RATING/GENRE: M ; angst, fluff, smut ; second chance romance, angel AU, soulmate AU

WORD COUNT: 17.2k

WARNINGS: Heavy themes of religious trauma, an initially negative view of Christianity transforming into a more neutral/respectful view of individual faiths, initial dismissal of other religions, difficult self-growth journey, homelessness, very brief mentions of murder and rape

OTHER/NSFW WARNINGS: Sharing one-bed trope (kinda), mistletoe trope (teehee), first time, fingering, cunnilingus, hand job, unprotected sex

A/N: This is a lot. The story definitely got away from me, but I think that's because there was so much I wanted to say. I definitely could have made this longer, and if I had time/wasn't such a slow writer, I probably would have. It's a heavy topic, but it's one that is near and dear to my heart and one that I think a lot of people can relate to. If you do, I hope this story feels a bit healing.

A/N 2: This is based on the vibes of his song "Standing Next To You" and the m/v for it.

LINKS: Part of the Jingle All The Way! collab with my talented, wonderful friends. Cross-posted on AO3 and (eventually) Wattpad. Banner made by the lovely @kithtaehyung.

"—let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"

You take a deep, calming breath as you pass the carolers. Their cheerful voices grate on your nerves, but you keep your head down and continue walking. Lashing out at them won't do any good, even if it might give you a moment of satisfaction. It's not like they're the source of your irritation anyway; the crowded streets are abuzz with the unrelenting chaos of the Christmas season, and you have been on edge all morning.

Turning a corner, you enter a street closer to the shelter you have been calling home for the past year and a half. Immediately, some of your tension dissipates, and you feel like you can breathe a bit easier. There are fewer lights here and less noise, but a few decorations still attract your attention, like a moth to a flame. A nativity scene is proudly displayed in someone's window, and you stop dead in your tracks.

"Freedom of religion, my ass," you mutter bitterly as you tear your gaze away. Why does everyone and their mother seem to celebrate this stupid holiday?

You know that for many, Christmas isn’t necessarily a holy season. Some humans just use the holiday as an excuse to wear obnoxious sweaters, play the same song on repeat, and spoil one another with gifts. Yet reminders of the celestial realm, of the life you have been cast out from, are everywhere. The nativity, for one. Then there are the carolers singing their songs, and the cartoonish cherub decals that can be found on shop windows, holding banners that proclaim, “Buy one, get one 20% off!” Even the name of the holiday is marked by one of His monikers. Christmas.

It makes you sick.

The weather doesn't help, either. Drawing your coat more tightly around yourself, you try to ignore the relentless chill that settles deep in your bones. You’re definitely not dressed warmly enough, ill-prepared considering the sensation of being cold is something you’re still getting used to. It is yet another item you have added to your ever-growing list of "whys.” The question of why God created snow joins the ranks of "why did He make spiders?" and "why is He the most selfish being in existence?"

You sniff. Perhaps you let your emotions get the best of you at times.

Emotions. Another thing that’s somewhat new. As an angel, you didn’t really have those. The only thing you ever thought about was following orders and how better you could praise His name. Ugh. It’s hard to believe now that you were ever so single-minded. Though, towards the end, you suppose that wasn’t the case. It all went awry when you started this “list” of yours—when you started questioning things.

The moment that doubt had first crept into your mind seems like a lifetime ago. Reaching the status of archangel was something you had been working toward for millennia. It was a position that allowed you to work more closely with humanity; you were able to actually guide their paths and alter their destiny.

At first, it was everything you had ever wanted. The miracles that occurred because of your intervention made you feel like you were doing something worthwhile. But you quickly learned that not all of your missions would be quite as fulfilling.

You will never forget the first time you were put in charge of administering a holy test. The man had done nothing wrong, yet your higher-ups still insisted that he needed to be "tried by fire." The divine reasons were beyond comprehension, or so you were told. But watching the man suffer as everything he loved was taken from him, seeing the desperation and despair in his eyes… It felt wrong. That feeling stayed with you even as you watched the man's faith remain unbroken. Somehow, that made it worse.

And then there were those who committed sinful acts and escaped punishment. You saw murderers and rapists living their lives in peace while innocent souls suffered unjustly at their hands. The scales of justice seemed unfairly balanced, and you began to feel crushed by the weight of your guilt.

Thus, the degradation process began. For the longest time, you thought it was a myth, a scary story told to keep angels in line. If you doubt, if you disobey, you begin withering away into nothingness. You'll start to feel things, to lose your sense of purpose. It will be painful and overwhelming and, eventually, you'll cease to exist entirely. You were told that if it were to happen, you must report it to a superior at once. But you were terrified.

There was only one person you trusted enough to share the way you were feeling—your other half, your celestial counterpart. The one who knew you like no other did. Your Astrom, Jungkook.

There is an old celestial folk tale that documents the first creation of an Astrom pair. It is said God took one star and split it into two. Neither half could live without the other, nor would they want to. It is difficult to describe the way you felt for him, as angels are devoid of personal desires or emotions as humans experience them. It was simply as if being with him was as natural as breathing. He was the only being other than the Creator that you felt beholden to, that you admired.

When you first revealed your doubts to him, he simply listened, displaying a level of patience that you found comforting. He answered your questions about morality, about justice as best he could, trying to reassure you that everything happened for a reason. Yet no matter how persuasively he argued, your doubts wouldn't go away.

Eventually, you began to start contemplating letting yourself fall from grace. The thought was terrifying, but at the same time, there was a certain allure to it. To Fall meant to renounce your celestial responsibilities, and that included no longer having to inflict pain on innocent souls.

When you confessed this dangerous thought to him, Jungkook gave you a look that you couldn't decipher. All you remember is what he said next: "If you Fall, I shall Fall with you."

His words had been unexpected, and you didn’t know whether to take comfort in them or not. You didn’t want him to share your fate, to bear the burden of your guilt. Could you live with yourself if he Fell too? The answer was an obvious no. But the mere thought of being alone in your struggle was something you couldn’t stomach either. So, you attempted to keep your dissent to a minimum and perform your duties as required. But it wasn’t long before everything fell apart regardless.

Eventually, you were discovered and brought before the celestial court. You were accused of blasphemy since questioning Him was an unforgivable sin and sentenced to Fall, to be cast out from the life you have always known. Yet, the real blow came when you found out who had betrayed you.

Jungkook.

Your Astrom.

The one you had trusted implicitly, the other half of your celestial star, had betrayed you in the name of divine loyalty. The pain of the Fall, the feeling of your grace ripped from your body, the scorching burn of your wings as they turned to ash—none of this could compete with the raw, gut-wrenching anguish of his betrayal.

Even now, months later, remembering makes you feel as if you can't breathe, as if you might die. Every memory of him is like a punch to the gut, and the city, so full of noise and life, does nothing to drown out the agony. Some days, the pain is so vivid and unbearable that it feels as though you are Falling all over again.

A rough shove against your shoulder makes you stumble, and the man who ran into you barely grunts out an apology before continuing past. At least the disruption is a timely one, allowing you to pull yourself out of your thoughts before you spiral. There’s no point focusing on the past when there’s nothing you to do to change it, especially not when you have a myriad of new human concerns to deal with.

Your job hunt was, once again, unsuccessful. You keep telling yourself that it’s because it’s so close to the holidays and you’ll have a better chance once the new year comes. In reality, you’re sure it’s because you have no experience, no schooling, and no useful knowledge.

At least you’re familiar enough with the city now that zoning out didn’t prevent you from getting to your destination.

Lost Star Shelter.

The place you’ve been calling home. It’s certainly not perfect, but little on Earth ever is. You feel awful stepping past the crowd of people waiting outside its doors, knowing that they, like you, have nowhere else to go. You've been fortunate enough to secure your spot due to your volunteering efforts and the fact that the manager, Naomi, seems to have taken a liking to you. But not everyone is so lucky.

You step inside, greeted by the familiar smells of disinfectant and something cooking in the kitchen. The place is buzzing with activity as usual—mothers trying to soothe crying children, elderly folks chatting away in groups, and a few lone souls quietly scrawling job applications.

"Long day?" Naomi catches your gaze from behind the front desk, her warm smile a stark contrast to the weariness etched in the lines of her face.

"Isn't it always?" You head over and pick up the clipboard she slides toward you, scanning your list of tasks for the day. As expected, it's long hours of mindless labor, but you don't mind. Not only do you need to earn your place here, but volunteering gives you a sense of purpose similar to your previous heavenly duties. And you have the satisfaction of knowing you're actually helping, not harming.

"First on the list," Naomi points to an item at the top of your clipboard, "is the donations room. We just had a big drop-off and could use some extra hands sorting through it all. But grab some dinner before you start, okay?"

You nod, her straightforward nature getting a slight smile out of you. "Yes, ma'am."

You navigate your way towards the crowded dining area, where a line of people has formed, waiting for their turn to get served. The cooks, all volunteers like yourself, are bustling about, serving portions of the day's meal which looks to be a thick stew accompanied by fresh bread. The food is simple but hearty, more than enough to keep you working through the evening. You make a mental note to slip into the kitchen later and thank them for their hard work.

You find an empty seat at one of the long tables that occupy the space, making yourself at home amongst the people who are engrossing themselves in their meals or with idle chatter. You even join in on a conversation with some older women across the table, who are engaged in a spirited debate about soap operas. Your knowledge of pop culture is sparse at best, but they seem delighted to fill you in on the latest drama, their laughter infectious.

After your meal, you make your way towards the donations room. The sight of piled-up clothes, toys, blankets, and other items is both overwhelming and heartwarming. Naomi wasn't kidding when she said they'd received a large drop-off. It's a daunting task, but you roll up your sleeves and get to work. You start by sorting through the clutter, meticulously separating everything into various categories—men's clothes, women's clothes, children's clothes, etc., and items that need repairs or cleaning. Hours pass by unnoticed, the rhythm of work almost meditative.

Your thoughts inevitably wander back to Jungkook. A pang of longing shoots through you. He was the one who would always be by your side when you had to perform menial tasks like this in the celestial realm. You wonder what he would think of your new life. Does he look down on you from up high with pity or disdain, or does he simply not think of you at all? You aren't sure if you even want to know the answer.

As time wears on, the room gradually becomes less cluttered and more organized. You're just about to take a break when Naomi appears at the doorway, her aging features softened by the warm glow of the hallway light behind her. She takes in your progress with an approving nod.

"You've done well," she says, stepping into the room.

You can't help but feel a sense of pride at her words. "Thank you, Naomi."

She strolls around the room, her observant gaze sweeping over the sorted piles, her hands touching a few items here and there.

"It's amazing," she finally says, "how much kindness there is out there, even when it seems like everything is falling apart. No matter how rough things get, we can choose to be generous, choose to help others. That's what makes us human."

Her words resonate with you. You’ve seen the worst and best of humanity firsthand; the same species that wages wars also unite in times of crisis, offering support and showing kindness to total strangers. How much is influenced by higher powers and how much is purely human nature, you wouldn't presume to know. Your very existence has blurred the lines between supernatural influence and mortal will.

"True," you say, looking up at Naomi from where you're still seated on the floor surrounded by donations. "That’s a nice way to look at things."

Naomi's smile broadens at that, and she gives one last cursory glance around the room before saying, "Well, I'll let you get back to work. Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight, Naomi," you call after her as she steps out into the hallway, half-waving at you as she goes.

A little over an hour later, you step back to admire your work. Each item has been categorized, ready to be cleaned and redistributed. You move on to your next set of responsibilities: cleaning up the common areas and helping close up for the night.

The smell of cleaning supplies clings to your skin as you make your way back to your sleeping quarters—a small, shared room filled with single beds. Careful not to disturb anyone, you move towards your assigned bed, its familiar creaks and groans echoing softly under your weight as you settle into it. Exhaustion pulls at your muscles, but you need to wash up and change before you sleep.

You grab your shower caddy, change of clothes, and quietly make your way to the women’s bathroom. The fluorescent white lights flicker to life as you enter, revealing a row of curtained shower cubicles. You choose one at the end and let the water heat up as you undress. The hot water cascades over your tired body, soothing your muscles and washing away the sweat and grime that has built up throughout the day.

Shower done and teeth brushed, you pull on fresh clothes and make your way back to your bed. As you settle back down under the covers, you notice something strange on your bedsheet. A crisp scorch mark is visible against the fabric, and when you observe it more closely, you're shocked to realize that the shape almost looks like… fingers? Your heart hammers in your chest.

"Impossible," you whisper to yourself.

The sight of these burns is not unfamiliar to you; in fact, you have been the cause of such marks before. It is a common occurrence when celestial beings interact with the mortal world—remnants of their powerful energy left behind. But as you stare at them now, a sense of unease creeps over you. Could it be Jungkook? The thought flickers through your mind, but you quickly brush it aside. Why would he make himself known in this way and then vanish without even seeing you? You can't allow yourself to hope.

Dismissing the thought, you force yourself to rationalize that it must have been an accident. Perhaps someone burned it while it was being ironed. It’s easy enough to convince yourself; after all, it’s only three and a half slender marks—it could be anything. But the unease remains as you lay down on the bed, your mind filled with questions. You eventually succumb to sleep from sheer exhaustion, your dreams filled with memories of Jungkook.

The next day passes in a blur—the usual routine of job applications, food preparation, and cleaning duties. The burn mark on your bedsheet remains a mystery. You track down the volunteer who did the laundry, and she swears she wouldn't be so careless as to burn someone’s belongings. Despite her assurances, it's the only explanation you are willing to believe. You return to your bed to find that the sheet has been replaced with a fresh one, the burn mark gone as if it never existed.

You spot an older man sitting on a bed in the corner; his mouth moves silently, and the rosary beads dangling from his fingers lead you to believe he’s praying. A small, faux Christmas tree, no larger than a water bottle, stands on a box next to him. The sight stirs something with you, an uncomfortable feeling once again settling in your gut. You don’t understand his faith. How can someone continue to pray to a God that has obviously forsaken him?

You wait until the man finishes and safely tucks the rosary beads into his shirt pocket, right above his heart, before you approach.

“Excuse me?”

He looks up at you with a smile, eyes crinkling around the edges. "What can I help you with, dear?"

"I noticed you praying," you begin tentatively. Despite your personal qualms with religion, you don’t want to seem as if you are disrespecting him or his beliefs. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how do you keep your faith? Under these circumstances?"

He doesn't seem bothered at all by your blunt question. Instead, he chuckles softly and pats the bed beside him, inviting you to sit down. You hesitate a moment before complying.

"Faith isn't about having all the answers," he starts, his voice a mere whisper in the quiet room. "It isn't about being rewarded for good deeds or punished for bad ones. It's about hope. It's about believing that things will get better."

“Hope? Still? Despite… despite being here? I mean, aren’t you upset with God?” Your voice is barely above a whisper as well, a mixture of curiosity and frustration seeping into your words.

He remains silent for a while, his gaze wandering towards the small Christmas tree on the box beside him.

"No, I'm not upset with God," he finally replies. "Man is given free will, and it is man who chooses what to do with it. Crisis, poverty… God didn't create these. They're the consequences of human choices." His words are sincere, spoken with a calmness that only comes from years of contemplation. "God doesn't promise us that life will always be easy or free from hardships. But He does promise that He will be there in those times of trouble. You see, faith isn't about expecting God to fix our problems, but about having the strength to face them."

“I envy your strength,” you admit with a hint of admiration in your voice.

“Strength is born from struggle, dear. You’ll find your way soon enough.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The conversation lingers in your mind long after the man's words have faded into silence. You sit on your bunk, staring at the ceiling, pondering them. His unshakable faith is both alien and inspiring to you. Even when you were an archangel, before any doubts seeped into your mind, your faith was nothing like his. It was a duty, an obligation, a resolute certainty that was less about personal beliefs and more about the world you were born into.

His mention of hope sticks out to you the most. You look around the room again, taking note of the different symbols of faith scattered across the room—crosses, menorahs, and even a small prayer mat in one corner. Each person in this room believes in something larger than themselves, something that gives them hope. And you? You're not certain what you believe in anymore. But maybe, just maybe, some of your anger has been misplaced.

As the daylight fades, you find yourself wandering outside, the crisp evening air bringing a kind of comfort you couldn't find inside. You walk aimlessly, your feet following the now-familiar sidewalks. You end up in a park, and you make a seat for yourself on a deserted bench.

Looking up into the sky, now painted with hues of orange and pink, you let yourself miss Heaven for just a minute. To miss Jungkook. Even the Creator. You can never go back to worshipping Him, nor do you want to, but you can't deny the connection that once was. As much as you wish everything never happened, you are grateful for how much you've grown since.

Suddenly, you’re disoriented by a bright flash of light and a shrill, piercing sound that makes your entire body jolt. You shut your eyes and cover your ears, but it does nothing to dull the pain. It's as if the noise is coming from inside your mind. You half-crawl, half-fall off the bench, curling in on yourself, unable to think anything, do anything, until it finally comes to a stop.

The world pauses around you; the birds stop chirping, the wind stops blowing, and people are frozen where they walk. A familiar feeling washes over you, and your breath catches in your throat. You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. Even in this form, even as a human, his presence calls to your very soul. You hadn’t realized how incomplete you felt, how empty you were, without him by your side. He’s your other half, and he always will be. The realization makes you want to cry. You had hoped after the Fall, after you became human, that would cease to be true. You can’t stand the fact that you’re still irrevocably tied to him, even after all that he’s done. As always, fate is cruel.

“Y/N.”

He speaks your name with a quiet reverence as if he can hardly believe you’re there in front of him. The familiar, honeyed tone of his voice reignites your longing for him with full force, but you still stubbornly keep your eyes closed. You can’t look at him. You aren’t strong enough.

“I cannot believe you are alive.”

What?

His statement shocks you enough that your eyes fly open of their own accord, and for the first time in months, you're met with the sight of Jungkook. You're not sure if you perceive him differently now that you are mortal, but he's even more captivating than you remember.

His dark hair curls softly atop his head and is tousled ever-so-perfectly. His skin is beautifully tanned, and the way his tall figure is silhouetted against the sun makes it seem like he's glowing. His wings are obsidian, gargantuan in size, seemingly consuming the entire park with their reach. He's magnificent, so beautiful it hurts.

But it is his eyes that have you frozen in your spot—those beautiful, brown doe eyes, filled with so much emotion that it takes your breath away. He's not supposed to be able to feel unless… unless he has begun the degradation process, as you had.

“Y/N,” he repeats, his voice trembling. "I thought you were dead."

“I don't understand,” you manage to choke out, trying to sound more composed than you feel. You pull yourself to your feet, grimacing at the pain radiating throughout your body. How much of it is physical and how much is emotional, you can't tell.

He takes a step closer to you, his hands outstretched as if to ensure that you're real, but you recoil instinctively. He flinches at your reaction but still grabs your arms, grip unrelenting even as you attempt to pull away from him.

“Protective markings have been burned onto your ribs.” Hurt flashes across his features. “Were you hiding from me?”

“What? No.” You manage to break free and back up a few steps, putting some distance between you. You feel exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, remembering how he always seemed to know what you were thinking even before you did. "I didn't even know I had them."

"I need you to explain everything," he demands.

“You need me to explain?" You scoff and cross your arms over your chest defensively. "What about you?”

“Me?” He tilts his head slightly, his confusion obvious.

“Yes, you!" You take a step closer, anger simmering just beneath the surface. "After all, you’re how I ended up in this situation, right?”

“What are you talking about?”

"You betrayed me!" you hiss. “I confided in you, and you told me you understood. That you were with me. And then you turned around and proclaimed me a blasphemer!”

He doesn’t respond right away, and it’s as if you can see the cogs turning in his head as he pieces things together. “Y/N… I would never.”

His admittance makes you pause. Angels aren’t supposed to lie, though you know not everyone abides by that law. However, Jungkook has always been one of the most dedicated to the commandments.

“That’s not what Namsu told me.”

“Namsu? The Throne?”

“Yes, the Throne. The one who exiled me on the orders of up high.”

His eyebrows furrow. “You… were exiled? You did not wither?”

"Wither?" you scoff. "That's a myth, Jungkook. A cover-up to hide the fact that when angels start to stand up for what they think is right, they get cast out. And it's thanks to you that I'm here now."

"I… no." The intensity behind the word takes you aback. "I just wanted to help you; I thought you were sick. I went to one of the Cherubim for guidance—I would have never turned you in for some kind of punishment."

His words hang in the air, making your heart pound in your chest. He was trying to help you? The thought sends a flurry of conflicting emotions through you.

"Help me?" You repeat his words, mocking him in your disbelief. "Your way of helping got me exiled! Cast down and made mortal."

"I did not—" He cuts himself off, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Yet it did!" you snap, crossing your arms tightly around yourself as if they could somehow shield you from the pain his presence brings. "And now I'm here, and nothing will ever be the same!"

"I am so sorry." His apology is whispered so softly that you almost don't catch it. But you do, and it hits you like a punch in the gut.

Your head feels as if it's about to implode. He didn't purposefully betray you—in fact, he was trying to save you. But even so, his actions have led to your downfall, and now you're stuck here on earth, far from the light of Heaven, vulnerable and mortal, while he remains immortal and untouchable. Perhaps that's the part that hurts the most. The fact that now you are separated not by betrayal but by the very nature of your beings.

Your voice cracks as tears fill your eyes. "If all this is true, then why wouldn’t you have looked for me?”

“I looked everywhere at first, but I could not sense you anymore.” If it was possible, you think he would be crying too. “Namsu is the one who told me what happened. He said that you… that your doubt consumed you, and you did not survive.”

The information hits you like a ton of bricks. Your knees almost give out for a second time, but Jungkook reaches out and grabs you by the elbows, steadying you.

"I… I had no idea." A bitter laugh escapes your lips as you look up at him. "You didn't know anything, and I presumed the worst of you."

His fingers tighten around your arms in a reassuring squeeze. "We can always start over, Y/N."

"Start over?" you echo, incredulous. "You make it sound so easy."

"And why would it not be? We were not the ones to blame for our separation. Come back with me."

"I'm human now. The only way I can come back is… is if I'm dead."

His grip loosens, his face paling at your words. "I did not mean to suggest… Of course, I do not want you to die," he hastily corrects himself, glancing down at the ground. His wings flutter uneasily behind him, betraying his discomfort. "There must be another way."

"If there was, would it even be safe? I mean, why would Namsu do this?" you ask, staring at him. You're not sure if you're asking him or simply musing aloud. Even so, the question hangs heavily in the silence between you.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Jungkook speaks again. His voice is barely above a whisper when he says, "I wish I had the answers you seek, but I don't. All I know is that I will do everything in my power to rectify this situation." He turns away from you, scanning the horizon as if searching for something. "I need to return and confront Namsu. He must account for his actions."

"No, it's too dangerous. What if he forces you to Fall, too? You can't risk it, Jungkook."

He looks back at you, his expression hardening. "I will not let him get away with this, Y/N," he says resolutely. "Deception is not a virtue of a Throne, especially not in such grave matters."

"And you won't let him, but you need to go about this carefully. Going to him directly won't work—he's too powerful."

Jungkook tilts his head, regarding you skeptically. "It almost sounds as if you are asking me to be deceitful."

"Not deceitful, just… stealthy?"

He doesn’t respond immediately, his brow furrowed as he mulls over your words. After a moment, he exhales slowly, pulling back from you to pace the grass in thought. "Stealthy," he repeats slowly, his voice distant. "That would require careful planning. Secret meetings. Misdirection."

"Yes," you agree, watching him closely. "All of that."

He stops suddenly, turning to look at you. "Very well. I will do whatever it takes to get to the bottom of this."

Your chest tightens, and you gnaw at your bottom lip. His resolve both comforts and worries you. You don't want him to risk himself for you, but part of you is happy that he is willing.

"However,” Jungkook breaks your train of thought. "It sounds like I may need to be a little bit more human to pull this off. After all, none of this comes easily to angels, but mortals lie all the time."

You raise an eyebrow. "And how are you going to achieve that?"

"You will have to teach me, of course." He says this as if doing so will be the easiest thing in the world. “The degradation process has already started for me, as I am sure you are aware. It should be easy.”

"You're serious?"

Jungkook had always been so straight-laced, the epitome of angelic perfection. The idea of him playing at being human is almost laughable.

"Completely," he responds, his intense gaze never wavering. "I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring Namsu to justice and try to fix this. Fix us. If that requires adopting some mortal habits, then so be it."

"Alright," you finally concede, shaking your head in amusement. "Time for a crash course in 'how to be a human' 101."

He smiles faintly at that, the corners of his mouth tipping upwards just so. It's a small thing, barely noticeable amidst the tension still hanging heavily in the air between you two, but it's enough. Enough to remind you that the way you felt about him in Heaven, despite not being able to feel, was some kind of love. You don't know where that leaves you now or what you're going to do about it, but procrastination is another human skill you have come to love. Maybe you'll teach him that eventually.

"Lesson one," you start, pointing a finger at him in mock sternness. "Humans don't always speak so formally or in such grandiose phrases. ‘I am going to bring Namsu to justice' sounds archaic or like something a two-bit superhero would say."

His lips quirk upward into a more genuine smile this time. "I see," he replies, his voice deliberately casual. "So how would a human say it?"

"Well, for starters, you could use slang," you suggest.

Jungkook’s brows furrow, an almost comical look of concentration on his face. “Slang,” he repeats, testing the word on his tongue.

“Yes, slang. Humans don’t always pronounce every single word, and they often come up with new, shorter words to replace certain phrases. You could say something like, 'Namsu’s gonna get what he deserves.'”

He nods, repeating your words slowly. “Namsu... is going to get what he deserves.”

You burst out laughing at his attempt. The prim, stoic angel fumbling his way through human speech? It is truly a sight to behold.

"Laughing at my expense?" He feigns hurt, but there's a playful twinkle in his eyes that gives him away. "I guess that's lesson two then: humans are full of mirth and mockery."

"You're catching on quickly," you reply, still giggling slightly. “And yes, we like to laugh.”

He observes you a moment longer before finally allowing a soft chuckle to escape his lips. It's a deep, rich sound, but it feels tentative like he's not quite sure if he's doing it right.

“Laughing…" he murmurs, puzzling over the concept. “Such a peculiar expression of joy. But I like it."

"As you should," you reply, a grin still playing across your face. "It's one of the best parts about being human."

Jungkook studies you for a moment, a smile tugging at his lips. "It suits you."

"Hm? What does?"

"Being human."

"I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.”

"There is a certain spontaneity in humans. A vibrancy that angels lack." Jungkook’s gaze intensifies, his voice lowering to almost a whisper as he steps closer. "It makes you shine more brightly. Like the sun."

He's so close to you now that you can make out the subtle flecks of gold in his eyes. Your heart pounds in your chest as his words wash over you, warming you from the inside out.

"That—" You clear your throat, trying to steady your shaking voice. "That sounds like a compliment."

"It is," he confirms, his gaze flickering down to your lips for a brief second before rising back to meet your eyes. "But it is also an observation. A fact."

You want to kiss him. The thought shocks you—you've never kissed someone before, let alone wanted to. It must be a human impulse. You can't help but imagine what it might feel like, the warmth of his lips against yours, his skin beneath your fingertips. You want to feel his hand on your cheek, his fingers tangling in your hair. But the danger of your respective positions impedes that thought, and you push it down. He's an angel. You're not. Him being your Astrom, the connection you had before your Fall, none of it matters now.

"Okay," you manage to squeak out, trying to ignore the electricity that seems to be sparking between your too-close bodies. "Human lesson number three: we're big on personal space."

"Oh?" Jungkook raises an eyebrow but doesn't step away. "Is this too close?"

You swallow hard. "A bit."

You swear you see a hint of mischievousness cross his features before he complies, stepping back just enough to leave a sliver of space between you. "Better?"

"Now you're just teasing me," you retort, though there's a soft smile playing on your lips.

"Is that frowned upon?"

"No," you admit. "In fact, it's quite human of you. Now, it’s time for a real challenge." He looks at you quizzically. "We have to convince Naomi to let you stay at the shelter."

"Ah," he nods, understanding dawning on him. "I see. Another part of being human—negotiation."

"Exactly."

"Then lead the way." With a snap of his fingers, time resumes for the two of you and his wings have disappeared, making him appear fully human, and you head back to Lost Star.

"Naomi, please," you beg, giving your boss the best puppy eyes you can muster. "He needs a place to stay."

Naomi crosses her arms over her chest and drags her gaze over Jungkook in a way that suggests she's scrutinizing every cell of his being, from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes. "There's no extra beds, hun. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."

"Then he can stay with me!"

"You and him, sharing that tiny little twin bed?" She scoffs. "I'd like to see you try."

"We'll make it work!"

"It's still against the rules. One body to one bed."

"I know it's not ideal, but just for a few days until we figure out something else," you urge her. "I wouldn't be asking you this if it wasn't important."

Jungkook steps forward, interjecting smoothly, "I will respect the rules, and if you feel my presence is harmful or disruptive in any way, I will leave immediately."

Naomi looks between you and Jungkook, and then she sighs, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"Fine, but only for a little while. And you can't sleep in the main room. Take my office—the couch is a pull-out."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You pull her into a hug that she returns with a loving exasperation.

"If there's even a whiff of trouble, both of you are gone, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am! I wouldn't expect anything less."

You grab Jungkook’s hand, dragging him along behind you as you lead him through the shelter. You pass through some of the busier living areas, and it's as if everyone can’t help but stare at him. You can only assume that, despite his wings being hidden, he still emits some sort of otherworldly aura that draws people in. Plus, by human standards, you suppose he's quite attractive.

Jungkook seems unbothered by the attention, too focused on his surroundings and curiously taking in every detail.

"All these people live here?" he asks, incredulous. "This place is quite small."

"Shh! Lesson four: lower your voice when you're talking about other people. The last thing we need is for someone to overhear and think you're judging them."

"Apologies," Jungkook replies, his voice dropping to a whisper. "But my previous comment was not meant to be judgmental. I’m just… surprised. I thought humans usually lived in family units, but everyone here doesn't seem to be related."

I’m. Doesn’t. He’s already using contractions—you must either be a good teacher or he’s a quick learner.

"You're right," you agree, and as you glance around, your heart aches a little. "Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that. This place is for those who have lost their families or homes."

"Lost their homes? Like in a fire?"

"Sometimes. Or maybe they didn't have enough money to pay their taxes."

"I don't understand. Are there not enough homes for everyone? Why do you need to pay for such a basic need?"

You pause, the innocence of his question hitting you surprisingly hard. Of course he wouldn't understand the complexities of human society, of money and social class, of poverty and wealth disparity. You didn't either; at least, not until you Fell and were forced to figure it out.

"That is a complicated issue," you admit, running a hand through your hair. "And not all humans agree on how to solve it. Some people think everyone should have a home, regardless of whether or not they can pay for it. Others think that if you can't afford it, you don't deserve one."

He looks so confused that you would be tempted to laugh if the tone of the conversation wasn't so serious. "That doesn't seem fair. In heaven, everyone has a place."

"Yes, well, Earth isn't heaven." There's a bitterness to your words that you hadn't intended. "And why our Creator chooses to leave things like this is a mystery to me. I mean, why not use some of His power to help?"

"The ways of the Almighty are impossible for us to understand," Jungkook quietly replies. "And it's not for us to question."

You snort in response, crossing your arms over your chest. "Well, aren't you a dutiful little angel?"

Jungkook frowns, clearly not understanding your sarcasm. You sigh and shake your head.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook. It's just hard to wrap my head around sometimes. It's why my so-called degradation process started in the first place. Look at them—" You gesture to the people huddled together around the small television in the corner of the room, others sharing a meal or helping to care for the younger children. "They're good people. Why do they deserve to suffer?"

Silence lingers between you for a moment. When he responds, he doesn’t answer your question. “Their heavenly rewards shall be plentiful as long as they keep to their faith.”

“Does that make all of this okay?" You scoff. "Why are they being tested like this? In fact, why do they even need to believe at all to be given a home in the celestial realm? If a person is good-hearted, why isn’t that enough?”

Jungkook looks away from you. "I don't like these questions."

“You don’t like them? Or you don’t like how uncomfortable they make you feel?”

Before he can even bother replying, you let go of his hand and open the door to Naomi's office, hurrying inside, eager to get some space. It's small and cramped, filled with stacks of paper, an old wooden desk strewn with an old computer and various office supplies, and a well-worn couch wedged against the wall.

"It's not much," you say. "But it's home for now, I guess."

"Home," Jungkook repeats softly, eyes scanning the room. He zeroes in the billboard behind Naomi's desk, filled with photos of smiling people, letters from those that she has helped. A smile tugs at his lips. "It's nice."

"You say that now. Just wait until you're trying to sleep and a couch spring is digging into your back."

"I don't actually need to sleep," he reminds you.

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. "Right, I forgot. At least we won't be fighting for the blanket."

"I can pretend to," Jungkook offers, a spark of amusement in his eyes. "The idea of laying next to you is not unwelcome."

You blush, taken aback. "W-what… you…" You take a deep breath. "No, that won't be necessary. And lesson five: don't flirt with people unless you mean it."

"What is 'flirt’?”

"Flirting," you explain, trying to keep your blush under control, "is when people say or do things that suggest they're attracted to each other."

"I see." He pauses for just a moment before asking, "And how do I know if I'm attracted to someone?"

You sigh exasperatedly. Who knew teaching an angel to be human could be so tiring?

"It's… well, it's kind of hard to explain. Especially because, as an angel, you don't really feel, at least not until the degradation process is nearing its end. But basically, it's like you have an inexplicable urge to be around this person a lot. You think about them often, their happiness makes you happy, and you want to be closer to them, maybe even touch them or hold them. Some people also might feel their heart beat faster, or a fluttering in their stomach."

As you speak, Jungkook’s eyes never leave yours. They gleam with curiosity and understanding, drinking in every word you say. He seems to be processing the concept, and then he suddenly smiles. "So, like how I feel about you."

Caught off-guard, you blink at him, speechless for a moment. And then the panic seeps in.

"No, Jungkook, that's not correct," you insist, your words tumbling out in haste and denial. "You can't… we can't… you're an angel. I'm—" Fallen, you want to say. Human, you need to say. But you don't.

"Why not?" he asks simply, his gaze steady.

"Because!" You scramble for an explanation, desperate to avoid the truth of your own feelings stirring within you. "Because angels aren't supposed to feel that way."

"But I am no longer a pure angel," Jungkook counters. "The degradation process has begun. We discussed this already."

"But that doesn't matter! The whole reason we are doing this is so you can learn the skills you need to figure out a way to stop Namsu from forcing anyone else to Fall. Once you do, you'll be able to stay in Heaven because withering isn't real." Before he can say anything else, you open the door. "I'm gonna grab my stuff from my bed. I'll… I'll be back in a second."

You slam the door behind you, leaving Jungkook alone in the room. It's a struggle to keep your composure as you head towards your bed. All you can think of is his words, the nonchalance with which he said them. You can feel your traitorous heart yearning for him, but you can't let it sway you. Whether it was an accident or not, his betrayal led to your Fall. Led to you being human. And he's an angel. No matter what you feel or what he thinks he feels, nothing can happen between you now.

As you gather your meager belongings, the man you spoke with earlier approaches you with a sympathetic expression. "You alright, dear? You didn't get evicted, did you? I'll give Naomi a piece of mind if that's the case."

"No, no," you quickly reassure him with a forced smile. "My… my friend needs a place to stay for awhile, and there's a one body to one bed policy. Naomi was kind enough to let us use the couch in her office for a few days until we figure something else out."

"Your friend, hm?" His eyes twinkle mischievously. "That fellow you walked in with? Can't say I blame you. He's quite a looker."

"It's not like that," you blush, hurriedly stuffing the rest of your belongings into your bag. "Anyway, don't worry. You'll still see me around."

The man grins and gives you a friendly pat on the shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it. This place would be much drearier without you."

You bid him goodbye with a wave and make your way back to Naomi's office, feeling like you're walking towards the edge of a cliff. As you open the door, you find Jungkook staring out the window. The streetlight spills in through the gap in the curtains, bathing him in a soft glow. He turns as you enter.

"Gathered your belongings?" he asks, his voice calm as if the previous conversation never happened. For a moment, you feel robbed—does he not understand the gravity of what he said? But you suppose it's better this way. Easier, at least.

"Yes," you respond, a bit more brusquely than intended, setting your bag down on the floor. He's still staring at you, and you flush under his gaze. "I'm just going to set up the couch. And stop staring at me so intently. Humans get nervous about stuff like that."

"Another lesson," he remarks. "Understood." Jungkook watches you for a moment longer, then turns back to the window without a word.

You get to work, unfolding the couch and covering it with your bedding. The silence between you is thick; you can feel the tension radiating off of Jungkook despite his apparent calm. Your heart pounds in your ears as you busy yourself with smoothing out some wrinkles in the sheets, a futile distraction.

With a deep breath, you break the silence. "Alright, I'm done."

Jungkook turns to look, and his eyes scan the makeshift bed you've prepared. "You've made it look inviting."

"Should be okay for a few nights," you reply curtly, avoiding his gaze. "I'm, uh, gonna go ready for bed. I know you don't sleep, but feel free to sit at her desk or something. Make yourself comfortable."

You exit the room and head down the hallway to the bathroom, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts. You can’t shake off his confession and your own rush to deny him. The truth of your feelings, or rather the depth of them, is something you aren't ready to face.

After getting ready for bed, you hesitantly return to Naomi's office. The door creaks upon opening, and Jungkook turns from where he's seated at Naomi's desk, looking up at you with his intense gaze.

"Goodnight," you say softly, trying not to let your voice betray how uneasy you feel.

Jungkook nods. "Goodnight," he replies, and his voice is gentle, concerned. You feel a pang of guilt at the distance you've created between the two of you but say nothing more, falling into a fitful sleep.

Sometime during the night, Jungkook figured out how to work Naomi's dinosaur of a computer and discovered the wonderful thing that is the internet. When you wake, he flocks to your side like an excited child, eager to share everything he has learned about humans, their emotions, and their behavior.

"Slow down, Jungkook," you chuckle, holding up a hand to halt his barrage of words. "I can't absorb all of that at once."

"Oh," he says, blinking in surprise. "I forget that human minds process information more slowly. Should I take this as another lesson?"

You shrug, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Sure, go for it."

Despite the tension last night and everything unsaid between the two of you, you find yourself falling into an easy rhythm with him. He's eager to learn and keen on understanding humanity—your humanity. Throughout the day, he continues his studies, glued to the computer screen as you complete your daily volunteering. He takes breaks every once in a while to come find you and ask questions.

"I've come across some terms that are perplexing," he says, leaning on the front desk as you catalog some information. "'Memes' and 'emojis' appear prominently in human interactions online, but I don’t really know what they are or how they’re used.”

You answer question after question until you realize you aren’t getting work done, so you have to come up with a plan B. Leading him back to Naomi’s office, you pull up Netflix on the computer. Jungkook watches the screen in fascination as you explain streaming and scroll through all the shows.

"Let's try Friends," you say, clicking on the thumbnail.

You leave him to watch as you finish up your tasks for the day, checking occasionally to see that he’s still engrossed in the show. Instead of constantly badgering you with questions, he writes them on a notepad you provided and waits until the end of the day to go over them with you. You answer each one as best you can, completely endeared by him.

It's during one of the show's more depressing moments that he asks you about lying and betrayal, echoing the heavy undertones from the other day. His question takes you by surprise, his gaze focused intensely on your face as he waits for an answer.

"Lying is a tough one," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "Sometimes it's out of fear or selfishness. Sometimes people lie because they're trying to protect themselves."

"And betrayal?" Jungkook asks, his voice unnaturally calm.

You sigh, looking down at your hands. "Betrayal… it's when someone breaks your trust. It hurts, Jungkook. It hurts a lot."

He watches you for several long moments before finally speaking again. "I see," he says softly. "And that's what you thought I did to you?"

You swallow hard, feeling the knot in your chest tighten. "Jungkook," you start, but falter, not knowing how to put your feelings into words.

"I did not mean to betray you," Jungkook continues. "I realize that my actions may have led you to believe that I deceived you, but it was not my intention. I'm sorry."

"I know." You believe him completely, but the wound is still so fresh that you can’t bring yourself to fully trust him again. Not yet. "I know you didn't mean to, but an apology doesn't fix everything. Consider it another lesson—trust, once broken, isn't so easily mended."

Jungkook plays with the skin around his nails, an anxious habit he seems to be developing the more human-like he becomes. After a moment, he says, "I understand. I will try harder."

"Try harder doing what?"

"To understand you better. To understand all humans more, their emotions and their beliefs. Maybe understanding what trust really is will teach me how to earn it back and make up for my mistakes." He's so earnest, so genuine, it almost brings tears to your eyes. "I think I want this as much as I want Namsu to answer for his crimes, if not more. And maybe that makes little sense, but maybe… maybe that's quite human of me."

"And maybe that's progress," you say softly, looking at Jungkook with newfound hope.

Your new normal is spending your days with your time split between performing your volunteering duties and teaching Jungkook all about human life.

Christmas is only a week away now, and everyone around you seems to be buzzing with excitement. At this point, even the inside of the shelter has been decorated. The hallways are lined with lights and garlands, and the common areas even have a few trees set up with donated presents underneath. And, as much as you have dreaded the holiday, you can't deny that watching Jungkook experience it for the first time makes you hate it a little less.

Despite the initial stiffness that comes with being an angel unfamiliar with human life, he has quickly adapted to life at the shelter. He's kind and patient, and he’s always eager to help out where he can. The children, in particular, have taken a liking to him. He's become their favorite storyteller and always has the kids hanging onto his every word.

One afternoon, you find him sitting with them, singing a song in an ancient celestial language. Everyone will assume it’s some gibberish language he’s made up for one of his stories, but it reminds you of home. His voice is beautiful, melodic and soothing, with a honeyed quality to it that would make anyone stop and listen.

You stand in the doorway and watch, a smile tugging at your lips. He catches your eye and winks, the action so human and unexpected that it startles a laugh out of you. The children turn to see what's so funny, but you just shake your head, telling them to continue listening.

He comes to you when he finishes, smiling brightly. "Did you enjoy the song as well?"

"I did," you reply truthfully, your heart fluttering at his attention. The feelings you have been trying to resist are becoming increasingly persistent the more time you spend with him.

"That's good to hear.”

Suddenly, the kids clamor over to you both, giggling and pointing at something above you. You look up, and all the color drains from your face. Mistletoe. Who the hell put it here?

Jungkook looks between you and the mistletoe, obviously confused. “Why are you angry with that plant? It’s quite beautiful.”

“It’s a tradition, of sorts.” You say the word with disdain. “When a couple—not that we are one—walks under the mistletoe, they’re supposed to kiss.”

“Kiss?”

“We don’t have to, it’s stupid—”

“No, let’s do it. It's a part of the human experience, right? Let's consider it another lesson."

Heat rushes to your face, and you stutter incoherently, looking around the room for a way to escape. But the children are watching expectantly, their eyes wide and eager. You swallow hard, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Alright… close your eyes," you tell him.

He listens obediently, his eyes fluttering closed. You had never noticed just how long and pretty his eyelashes were until now. Bracing yourself, you take a deep breath and lean in, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. When you pull back, you're greeted with a perplexed expression as he opens his eyes.

"That was nice," he says after a brief pause. "But that’s really what a kiss is? In the show, they did it a bit more like—"

He leans in to demonstrate what he means, his lips brushing against yours. It's soft and a bit awkward at first, but he quickly gets the hang of it, pulling you closer. Against your better judgment, you let him, allowing yourself to get lost in the moment. His lips are softer than you would have expected. His fingers lightly squeeze your waist, sending a jolt of electricity through your body, and it's not until you hear some of the children giggling that you are reminded you have an audience.

You quickly pull away, breathless and flushed with embarrassment. Jungkook, however, is grinning from ear to ear. "That," he says. "That is how they did it."

"Again! Again!" one of the kids shouts, pulling at your arm.

Jungkook chuckles at his enthusiasm. "I think we should get back to our story," he says, ruffling the boy’s hair lovingly. Then, turning back to you, he murmurs, "Thank you. For the lesson."

You can barely speak coherently, but you manage to squeak out a small “you’re welcome” before rushing out of the room. How on Earth are you supposed to get your tasks done now? It's impossible to focus, your mind running in circles over his touch, the feel of his lips against yours.

When you return to Naomi’s office later that night, you’re relieved to see that Jungkook isn't there yet. You take a moment to sit on the edge of the bed and process your thoughts, your fingers tracing absentmindedly over your lips. A shiver passes through your body, a heat blooming in the pit of your stomach. You drop your hand, clenching it into a fist to stop the trembling.

"Nervous?" a voice asks, startling you out of your thoughts. Jungkook is standing in the doorway, watching you with an unreadable expression.

"I… no," you say.

"Don't lie," he chides gently, sitting next to you on the bed. “I can tell when you do that now, you know.” He keeps to a respectful distance, but he turns his gaze to you. “I think I'm starting to really understand this human thing. Emotions and all that.”

"Is that so?"

"Yes. They can be painful sometimes but also quite beautiful."

You watch as he turns his gaze back towards the room, and silence stretches between you again. However, it’s different now from how it used to be; it's not awkward or unsettling, but comfortable. His vulnerability makes you want to be honest, to admit to the way you feel.

Just as you’re about to say something, he continues, "But now it's time for me to learn about something else. I need to start strategizing for the coming confrontation."

"Right, Namsu," you say. You almost forgot about Jungkook’s original intentions. You clap your hands and get up, heading to the computer. "Alright. Let's research."

With Jungkook sufficiently prepared, the time soon comes for him to return to the celestial realm. However, he insists on leaving at night, so he can spend the day with you. He referred to it as "a date," and you practically tripped over your own feet, much to his enjoyment. He has certainly developed a penchant for teasing you.

You decide to take him into the heart of the city, so he can observe people in their natural element. There seem to be even more decorations than you remember, and people are bustling about to finish their last-minute shopping. However, you find yourself handling the chaos a lot better with Jungkook by your side.

He hasn't let go of your hand since you stepped out of the shelter, his thumb lightly rubbing circles over your knuckles. Every once in a while, he squeezes it lightly, a silent assurance that he’s there. Whether he notices your nerves and is doing it to comfort you or is doing it because he wants to, you're grateful for it.

His doe eyes dart this way and that, eagerly drinking in the scenery. You try to explain what everything is—the office buildings, luxury apartments, and tiny shops buried in alleyways—but he's more interested in the people. It isn't until you stop in front of a Hindu temple that his attention is finally captured by a building. He cocks his head to the side, eyes wide in wonder as he takes in the sight of it. The temple is a beautiful structure, with elaborate carvings and statues lining its walls.

"What is this place?" he asks, his voice full of awe.

"It's a place of worship for those that practice Hinduism," you explain.

His eyes sparkle with interest as he takes a step closer to the building. "Can we go inside?"

You glance at him, surprised by his request. But something in his earnest gaze breaks down your hesitation. "Sure," you say softly, leading him inside.

The inside of the temple is even more impressive than the outside. There are vibrant murals depicting different gods and an intoxicating scent of incense that fills the air. You gesture to the bell at the entrance. “Would you like to ring it?”

“What’s it for?” he asks, picking it up gently.

“It’s supposed to be a way to announce your arrival to the deities.”

Jungkook shakes it, the twinkling of the bell echoing in the large room. “Pretty,” he remarks as he places it back where it belongs.

He then follows your lead as you move towards the main shrine, your heart pounding in your chest as you realize what you're about to do. An angel of the Christian God at the altar of a different one? You're almost afraid you'll be struck down where you stand.

He takes in the offerings with a small smile. "It's all quite beautiful," he remarks. "It's a shame that their gods aren't real."

You know Jungkook means no harm and that it is what he has been conditioned to think for thousands of years, but you still bristle at his easy dismissal of their beliefs. “We’re real. Our God is real. Who’s to say the gods of their religion are not?”

"There is one God. That is what we were taught."

"Yes, it is. But we were also led to believe the withering was real. Just because it is said does not mean that it is true.”

Jungkook is silent for a moment, eyes still fixed on the offerings. Then he turns to you. "You truly believe that?"

"I don't know," you confess, feeling a little exposed. “I don't know what I believe anymore. I'm just… questioning. It's complicated."

"You have given me a lot to think about," he admits, his tone quiet. “For all I know, you might be right. I shouldn't have dismissed their beliefs so easily. I apologize.”

You stare at him in surprise; you hadn't expected him to back down so easily. "It's okay," you reassure him. "I'd say being open-minded is another lesson, but unfortunately, not all humans are."

You continue to walk around the city, introducing Jungkook to as many things as possible. Everything he does fills you with affection, whether it be him trying hot dogs from a street vendor and declaring them divine, or joining some kids who were playing soccer in a park. At one point, he kicks the ball so hard that it lands in a tree branch, and you can’t help but laugh as he clumsily climbs up to retrieve it.

When night falls, you end up at the pier, watching the shimmering water beneath the stars. Jungkook is oddly quiet, looking out at the horizon with a distant expression. The silence isn't uncomfortable, but it does leave you feeling a little uneasy. You reach for his hand, and he startles slightly before turning to look at you.

"Penny for your thoughts?" you ask.

He smiles slightly. “I’m guessing that’s some sort of human expression, and you’re not actually going to give me a penny.”

“You would be correct.”

“I’m thinking about a lot of things.” He exhales as if letting out a breath he has been holding. "You, for one. But I'm always thinking of you so that much isn't a surprise." You blush and swat at his arm. "But I’m also thinking about my beliefs."

"What about them?"

He takes a moment to get his thoughts in order, grabbing your hand more tightly as if you're his anchor in a stormy sea. He answers your question with another. "What if everything we have been taught is wrong? I mean, we have never spoken with the Almighty directly. Angels, apostles, they can all take His words and twist them for their own purposes. We've seen it in action with Namsu, and with how the Bible has been changed to promote hatred."

You're taken aback by his frankness, the depth of his vulnerability. You have no answers for him, but you can relate to him and offer what little understanding you have come to have.

"So maybe it is wrong, and things have gotten taken out of context or changed as the years have gone on. Like you said, we cannot talk to Him, so we can’t ask for the truth. Or, maybe it is all part of a bigger plan, and unwavering faith is the answer.” You pause, steeling your resolve, before continuing, “But it isn’t for me. I can’t live that way. But how you decide to live is your choice. Who you are is your choice. I cannot decide that for you, and neither can He.”

He frowns. "I don't know how to make that choice. Who even am I? What am I without my purpose? Without Him?"

"Perhaps we're not defined by a single purpose we've been given," you answer quietly. "Maybe we're more than that."

"More than our purpose?"

"Yeah," you say, a soft smile tugging at your lips. "Maybe we don't need a purpose. Maybe it's okay to just exist."

Jungkook’s gaze turns thoughtful, considering your words as if they are the most precious thing in the world. "Just exist," he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper. After a moment, he stands up, looking at you with a newfound fire blazing in his eyes. "I need to return. I will talk to some of my confidants, gather information, and then confront Namsu."

You knew it was coming, but your stomach still drops. You're scared for him, for what will happen when he leaves. But you see the determination in his eyes, the steel in his gaze. You know better than to try and stop him now.

"You'll be careful, right?" you ask, your voice shaking slightly.

"I will."

He pulls you up and envelops you in his arms. His embrace is comforting, protective, and for a brief moment, it makes you forget about all your worries.

"Promise me," you whisper into his chest.

"I promise," he says, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back. He pulls away after a moment, but not before brushing his lips against your temple. "I will return. For you."

His words weigh heavy in the air as he pulls away fully, breaking the physical contact between you two. His gaze lingers on you for another moment before he turns away and disappears into the night. You're left standing on the pier alone, the cold wind making you shiver. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you head back to Lost Star, where you have nothing to do but wait.

It’s Christmas Eve before you know it. The holiday you have been dreading feels even worse with Jungkook’s absence, and frankly, you don’t know how to handle it. You plaster a smile on your face for the sake of the children, playing along with their excitement over what presents they are going to get and stories of Santa Claus. But every time someone brings Jungkook up, wondering where he is, you feel tempted to run to Naomi’s office and hide.

Speaking of Naomi, she has been keeping a close watch over you, mothering you as per usual. You know she can tell that something has happened. Once you step away from the festivities to do some of your work, she pulls you aside.

“Honey, what’s going on? These days you seem so out of it; you’re just flitting around room to room, acting like a ghost.” When you don’t answer, she frowns. “It’s because of that boy, isn’t it?”

"He… he needed to go home. He had some things he needed to figure out," you manage to say. It's not a lie, just an oversimplification of the truth.

She wraps an arm around you. "He's going to come back. I saw the way he looked at you, and you at him. And if he doesn't, well, screw him."

"Naomi!"

"Sorry, sorry. He was sweet and all, but you're my girl. I'll always have your back." Naomi declares, patting you on the back.

You accept her comfort, fighting back your tears. If only she knew your fear didn’t revolve around him coming back—of course, part of you is scared that something will happen to him, but the rational part of your brain, the part that knows his strength, has no doubts he'll be alright. In actuality, your biggest fear is that he won't be able to stay with you, and you’ll have to go through the pain of losing him all over again.

He's an angel. You're human. There's no future there. Your traitorous heart made you fall harder and harder for him without sparing that a moment's thought, and now you have to will yourself to accept that you'll always be in love with someone you cannot have.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, nothing but forced cheer and mindless chatter. Naomi sticks by your side as much as she can, making sure to redirect everyone who asks you questions about Jungkook. You're grateful for her presence, her constant support, and now more than ever, you realize how lucky you truly are to have her in your life.

As soon as everyone is in bed and your tasks for the day are done, you seek out the solitude of the pier once again. You've been coming here daily since he left. A sentimental thing, mostly, since it was the last place you saw him. But you also hope each night will be the night he returns.

The wind is strong tonight, the kind that chills you down to your bones, and the stars are hidden behind the clouds. You wrap your scarf more tightly around yourself, gazing aimlessly at the turbulent water. Suddenly, there's a bright light and a shrill noise. You aren't scared this time, and it's not nearly as overwhelming as it was. He must have tempered it somehow, made it less painful for you.

The light fades, leaving behind a figure that is unmistakably Jungkook. The sight of him fills you with such relief and happiness that you rush forward, throwing your arms around him. He envelops you in his arms, his wings folding around you, a sigh of contentment escaping his lips as he buries his face in your hair.

"I missed you very much," he says, breathing deeply.

"I missed you too," you whisper, tears prickling at your eyes. "I knew you'd come back."

"I said I would, didn't I?" he teases, pulling away just enough to look at you. "And I have news."

"What happened?"

You stay locked in his embrace as he speaks, bringing one of your hands to his face to stroke his cheek, to follow the line of his jaw with your fingers. He lets you, as eager to feel your touch as you are to feel his.

"I confronted Namsu," he begins. "But I wasn't alone. There were other angels who had started the 'degradation' process, those who were too fearful of retribution to say anything. I told them everything, and we confronted the other Thrones about Namsu and everything he had done. They didn’t approve of his actions, and they punished him for it."

"Really?" You ask, eyes wide with surprise. "Just like that? They believed you?"

A soft laugh bubbles up from him. "It wasn't quite that simple. There was plenty of arguing, plenty of disbelief. I’d never seen anything like it. But in the end, Namsu was banished from the celestial realm."

Relief washes over you at his words, the tension you hadn't even realized you were carrying leaving your body. "That's incredible.”

Jungkook shrugs slightly, but there’s an unmistakable look of pride in his eyes. "I’m just glad he has gotten what he deserves. Now you have justice." He places a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"And what about the others? The ones who have started to degrade?" Your heart clenches at the thought of them being punished for something beyond their control.

"They're safe," Jungkook assures you quickly. "The Thrones have promised to take care of it all. They're going to convene with Him, to see if the Heavenly teachings can be altered. Things are changing up there; I think it's all going to be alright."

You're overwhelmed with emotion, both relief and dread tugging at you simultaneously. It is good to know that things will be changing, but what is done to you has been done. And now, Jungkook has no reason to stay with you. You take a step back from him.

"What about you?" you ask quietly, barely daring to meet his gaze.

"What about me?"

"You have no reason to stay anymore. You can return to your normal duties. You did what was right, and everything is fixed."

"I did what was right, yes, and I'm sure things will be much better from now on," Jungkook agrees. But he steps forward, taking your hands in his and looking deep into your eyes. "But now, I need to do what's right for me."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, my star." Your heart stutters at the endearment. "I'm not going anywhere. I want to be with you."

"But… you can only do that if you're—"

"Human, yes," he interrupts.

"Jungkook! You can't! You can't Fall for me," you half-shout, half-whisper. "You're a good angel, you—"

"Y/N." The force behind his voice stops you. "Even before you showed me the beauty of being human, before I knew how to feel, before I even knew what love was, I would have done anything for you.” His confession takes your breath away, and you wobble on your feet, moving a few steps back from him in your shock. “If you had simply asked it of me, I would have stood with you in the fires of hell for all eternity and still been grateful for each moment spent at your side."

The tears you were holding back begin to fall. "You would have?"

“I would. I can. I will.” He moves closer to you with each beat between words until he stands directly in front of you, only a hair's breadth away. Gently, hesitantly—as if for the first time—he takes your hand and presses it to his chest right above where a human heart would be. “Just say the words, and I will fall for you. I will forsake myself and turn my back on Heaven. The pain of losing my wings will be inconsequential compared to the pain of having to be without you.”

"W-what words?"

He smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges. "You know what I want to hear. Be honest. Even better, be selfish, like a human. Tell me what you really want, and I will oblige."

You hesitate. You have been fighting your feelings this entire time, so sure of the fact that Jungkook would choose to continue his life as an angel. You never wanted him to Fall for you, to be torn away from the life he has always known the way you were. But he deserves to make the choice himself. If he wants your honesty, you will give it to him.

"Speak, Y/N," Jungkook urges, his gaze never leaving yours.

"I want…" You begin slowly, your voice barely a whisper. "I want you. I want you to stay with me." He grins, relief clear in his eyes. "Then I will."

"But you shouldn't have to Fall!"

"Fall or not, it won't change anything," he assures you. "I chose this path before even knowing there was a choice. I chose you from the second we were created.”

"Even if that means giving up everything?" you ask.

Jungkook’s expression softens. He reaches up and tucks a wayward lock of hair behind your ear. "Does it seem like I’m giving up everything?" he muses aloud, his eyes never leaving yours. "Because from where I stand, it seems like I’m gaining everything.”

"Smooth-talker,” you laugh, a tear slipping down your cheek. He brushes it off with his thumb, his gaze softening even further.

For a moment, you just stand there, looking at each other. It's quiet except for your breathing and the sound of waves crashing against the pier. You have been so afraid of asking him to make this choice, and yet he seems so certain about it, as if it was what he wanted all along.

"Are you sure about this?" you ask him one more time, seeking reassurance. "Once done, there's no going back."

His answer is immediate, "I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

"This will change everything," you say again.

"I know," he replies simply.

"Come find me when it's over," you whisper, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'll be at the shelter."

As you go to leave, you can't help but glance back over your shoulder at Jungkook, taking in the appearance of him and his wings one last time. He's still standing there, watching you go with love evident in his gaze. It quells some of your worries. And then you blink, and he’s gone.

The hours that creep by feel like days. You busy yourself with meaningless tasks, cleaning the office, flipping through an old book left on the table, scrolling TikTok. None of it does anything to dull your anxiety, and you're weighing the pros and cons of tearing your hair out before you finally hear a knock on the door. You shoot up to your feet, heart pounding in your chest. Slowly, you open the door, and there he stands. "I'm here," he says simply. "As I promised."

You pull him into a hug once again, burying your head into his chest. You can hear the beat of his human heart and, unable to stop yourself, you burst into tears. You know the pain he just went through, can remember experiencing it yourself like it was yesterday, and you can hardly believe he went through something so awful to be with you.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, tightening your hold on him. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he coos, gently stroking your hair. "This was my choice."

You swallow hard and pull back from him so you can look into his eyes, searching for any sign of regret. You find none.

"Are you okay?" You ask anyway, your heart aching at the thought of what he has given up.

"I am," he assures, his voice full of conviction. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, and when he pulls away, he's smiling. "I wondered if doing that would feel different now that I'm fully human."

"And does it?" you ask, smiling back up at him.

"Yes," he admits, tracing an invisible line down your cheek, your neck, your collarbone. You shiver at his touch. "It feels more real. Stronger somehow. It's like you're the break of dawn after a long night."

Your breath catches in your throat. "Being human certainly hasn't changed the fact that you have a way with words."

"Only when it comes to you," he replies, his fingers never ceasing their journey across your skin. They make their way back to your waist, where he plays with the hem of your shirt. "There's one lesson we never covered, you know."

"A-and what would that be?" you squeak as his fingers caress the smooth skin of your stomach.

His voice drops lower, and he tugs you closer by your belt loops. "Human intimacy."

You flush at his audacity but don't pull away. "And what would be the best way for me to teach you about that?"

"Hm…" He leans down so that his lips hover over yours, and you can feel his warm breath with each word he speaks. "I think I would respond well to some hands-on practice."

Your heartbeat thunders in your ears as his lips press against yours in a slow, searing kiss that turns your knees to jelly. He takes his time exploring your mouth, his lips moving delicately against yours. His hands are warm on your skin, trailing up and down your back as he pulls you closer.

"Then I suppose we should get started," you manage to whisper when you finally break apart, breathless.

Jungkook moves into the room, closing the door behind him, and sits down on the edge of the pull-out bed. He stares up at you, his once-innocent doe eyes now dark and hooded with desire. You float towards him as if being pulled by a magnet, and he pulls you down so that you’re straddling his lap. Your hands rest on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your touch.

"I think I should warn you," he says, hands sliding down to rest right above the curve of your ass, "I might be a slow learner."

You roll your eyes, a short, playful chuckle escaping from your lips. "I think I can handle that."

The room fills with an easy silence as you continue to explore each other, experiencing sensations new for the both of you. His hands trace every curve and dip of your body, his touch curious yet surprisingly confident. Your fingers trace the lines of his face, his jaw, his chest, and then find their way under his shirt to the newly-formed scars on his back. They are rough against your fingertips, a stark contrast to the rest of his smooth skin.

"You aren't in pain?”

“No,” he assures you, his hands sliding to a similar position on your own back. "Were you for long after?"

"No, but I'm still worried," you smile sheepishly.

He laughs and kisses your nose. "Don't be. Don't feel like you have to be gentle with me. I won't break."

You laugh in return, your eyes twinkling with delight and a touch of mischief. "Is that a challenge, Jungkook?"

He hums in response, his gaze never leaving yours. "Maybe."

His teasing reply only spurs you on. Rising to the bait, you lean in to kiss him, this time with a boldness that leaves him momentarily stunned. But he recovers quickly, matching your fervor and deepening the kiss. Your hands weave into his hair, pulling him closer, and his hips jut up against you almost involuntarily. You moan at the sensation, and he stills.

"What was that?" he asks.

"That," you breathe out, "is what human intimacy sounds like."

"I want to hear it again."

His lips find yours again and this time it's deep and demanding, all teeth and tongue and the promise of what’s to come. His hands grab your waist, forcing you to grind down against him as he once again lifts his hips up to meet your core. Another moan escapes your lips, the sound quickly swallowed by his hungry mouth. He tugs at the hem of your shirt, his fingertips skimming against the skin of your lower back. Eagerly, you lift your arms, and he pulls it off over your head.

"Jungkook…" you whimper, clutching at his shoulders. He responds by nuzzling into your neck, his hot breath making you shiver with pleasure.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs against the curve of your neck, his lips tracing the column of your throat, down to your chest.

He places a gentle kiss above each breast before descending lower still, sucking one into his mouth. His lips and tongue move expertly, drawing gasps from you as your nerves ignite with pleasure. His hands are firm on your waist, holding you securely against him as he devotes himself entirely to exploring the new terrain, and you grind against him wantonly. You can feel that your panties are soaked with the proof of your desire.

"Jungkook," you say again, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. His name is a plea, a prayer. "I need more."

He pulls back, his lips swollen from his ministrations. "And so I'll give it to you."

You eagerly crawl off of him, shimmying out of your jeans, before settling with your back against the pillows. You grab at the air, beckoning him closer. He does the same, now only in his boxers, and slots himself on top of you, his bare skin against yours intensifying the burning desire coursing through your veins. His hard length presses against your core, and you whine.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he admits in a low voice, his hot breath fanning against your face as his eyes search yours for assurance.

You reach up, caressing his cheek. "It's okay," you soothe him, your hands then trailing down his back to rest on his hips, encouraging him closer. "We'll figure it out together."

His lips find your neck as his hands explore every inch of you, his rough fingers exploring the softness of your flesh. He slides one down over your stomach and lower still, feather-light touches teasing you until you're gasping beneath him. His fingers trace the edge of your panties before sliding the fabric down. You lift your hips, aiding him in removing the last barrier between you. He tosses them aside before returning his attention to you, his fingers skimming along your trembling thighs. His fingers move gradually, inching steadily upward until he's touching you where you're most sensitive. You let out a soft gasp, gripping the sheets.

"Is this okay?" he asks. You nod eagerly, unable to get the words out, and he chuckles, placing a gentle kiss at the base of your throat. "Good."

Always the over-achiever, he slides down your body until his face is level with your core, focusing intently on his work. His fingers move with a slow, calculated rhythm that quickly has you dripping for him. Eventually, he slips one of his fingers inside of you. Your breath hitches, your hands clutching at his shoulders for support.

"Am I doing this right?" he asks, uncertainty creeping into his voice as he looks up at you from between your thighs.

"You must be," you gasp out, encouraging him with a roll of your hips. "Don't stop."

Grinning, he adds a second finger, working you open until you're panting and squirming beneath him. Your back arches off the bed as his fingers work their magic, curling in just the right way that has you seeing stars. Praise tumbles from your lips, but you're sure that it just sounds like nonsense, your thoughts too muddled to form coherent words.

"You're so wet," he murmurs in a low, gravelly voice that only adds fuel to your desire.

Without warning, he lowers his mouth to your core, his lips and tongue joining his exploring fingers. The sensation is electric; your breath hitches, and an animalistic moan escapes you. He takes it as a sign of encouragement, doubling his efforts. Your fingers find their way to his hair, threading into the dark strands, seeking purchase. You can't help but pull, and he moans against you, the vibrations only furthering your pleasure.

"Jungkook," you warn, "I'm—"

A coil of white heat tightens within you before snapping. His name slips from your lips as you climax, sparks dancing behind your eyelids as he continues to pleasure you, eagerly lapping up your release. He doesn't stop, not until you physically pull him away from you, body shaking with overstimulation. He climbs back up your body, his lips finding yours in a gentle kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips.

"You okay?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

His pupils are blown out with desire, his hair slicked back with sweat, and he's so attractive that just the sight of him has you clenching your thighs together.

You nod, cupping his face in your hands. "More than okay," you assure him. "That was amazing. Now," you slide your fingers down his chest, sliding over the waistband of his boxers. "Let's see what we can do about you."

You hook your thumbs around the fabric and pull them downwards, and he does the rest of the work, kicking them off. You reach down, your fingers tentatively wrapping around his cock. He gasps, his head falling forward against your chest as you begin to stroke him with a slow, measured rhythm.

He nearly whines, his grip tightening on your hips. "That feels… I can't…" His words dissolve into soft, broken moans as you continue to work him over.

Suddenly overtaken with need, you stop, pulling him in for another searing kiss. "I need you inside of me, Jungkook," you gasp against his lips, "Please."

Your hand guides him back to your core, and his breath hitches. “Are you ready?”

Nodding, you lift your hips to meet him. He pushes into you carefully, slowly, each inch an intense sensation for both of you. Your body clenches around him as if welcoming him home, a strangled moan escaping your lips. One of his hands clasps yours, bringing it to rest on the side of your head while he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his heavy breaths fanning your skin. He's shaking against you, and you feel just as overwhelmed.

You squeeze the hand that's holding yours, urging him on. "You're okay," you whisper, "I'm okay. Move."

He nods, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back inside of you. Your body jolts at the sensation, gasping his name over and over.

"You feel incredible," he breathes out, the statement more for himself than for you. “So perfect.” Your fingers thread through his hair once more, pulling him down to meet your lips.

His hips set a steady rhythm, filling the room with soft sounds of skin on skin and heavy panting. He lets out a low groan as he adjusts his angle, hitting a spot inside of you that has you crying out and grabbing at him wherever you can reach. You wrap your legs around his waist, throwing your head back against the pillows.

"That's it," you whine, "Right there. It feels so good—"

Your words cut off into a choked moan as he thrusts into you at that exact spot again and again, his movements becoming more erratic. He's close—you can tell by the way his body tenses and how he gasps desperately into your mouth.

"I'm… I'm—" he stammers out, breath hitching between each word.

"I know," you gasp out, meeting him thrust for thrust. "Me too."

You pull him as close as possible, holding him to you as you both chase your release. Your eyes squeeze shut, and your nails dig into his skin as a wave of pleasure crashes over you, even more intense than the last. You moan his name as you come, shuddering beneath him. He moans into your neck as he follows you over the edge, his hips bucking uncontrollably as he buries himself deep inside you.

He collapses on top of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his heavy breathing tickling your skin. He stays there, nestled inside of you, his heart pounding against your chest, matching the rapid rhythm of your own. You feel dizzy, your senses overwhelmed by him—his scent, his taste, the feel of him on top of you and within you. You caress his back, slowly tracing the contours of his scars with gentle strokes, the action soothing for both of you.

Eventually, he shifts, carefully pulling himself out of you and collapsing onto his back next to you. His hand searches blindly for yours, lacing your fingers together once he finds it. He brings your joined hands up to his lips and places a soft kiss on your knuckles.

"Is… are you…" He lifts his head to meet your eyes, unable to form words.

"I'm more than okay," you assure him softly, brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead.

"Good," he whispers, a contented sigh escaping him.

His eyes roam over your face once more before closing, his grip on your hand tightening ever so slightly. Together, you lay there under the sheets, and the silence goes on for so long that you almost think he fell asleep.

Then suddenly, you hear him say, voice barely above a whisper, "I love you." You look over to see him staring up at you with adoration in his gaze and a soft smile on his lips. "I know I don't have to say it since surely there can be no doubt that everything I have done for you is out of love. But I want to say it anyway. I want to continue saying it for the rest of my life. I have loved you since before I even had the capacity to feel it, and I will continue to love you until time ceases to exist."

His confession leaves you breathless, and you can do little but turn on your side, grab his face, and place a gentle kiss on his lips. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill down your cheeks.

"I love you too, Jungkook," you whisper against his lips, "So very, very much."

He lets out an audible sigh of relief as if he had been holding his breath, waiting for your response. His free hand reaches out to caress your cheek, wiping away a tear that had managed to escape. "I knew you would say so, but I'm happy to hear it all the same."

The two of you get ready for bed, and, for the first time since commandeering Naomi’s office, you fall asleep together in each other's arms.

The day you have been dreading has arrived—Christmas. Despite your initial hatred, however, you find yourself actually participating in the festivities around the shelter. Just like as many others do, you aren't going to consider it a holy day. You're going to use it as an excuse to be happy and spend time with your loved ones.

You join the group of children who sit by the pile of gifts, their excitement palpable as they eagerly wait for Naomi to declare it time to open them. Small hands tug at Jungkook’s sleeve, pulling him down to their level as they bombard him with questions about where he's been. He settles down amongst them, answering their questions as honestly as he can. His eyes meet yours over the sea of eager faces, and he stretches out a hand towards you, inviting you to join him. You sit right on his lap, making some of the kids giggle.

"Alright, everyone, it's time!" Naomi's voice echoes through the shelter, immediately quieting the children down.

As each name is called out and the kids scramble to collect their gifts, you can't help but smile. The pure delight on their faces is infectious. Noticing your happiness, Jungkook pulls you back so that you’re leaning against his chest, his arms wrapping around your waist.

He places a gentle kiss on your neck, murmuring, "You seem happy."

"I am," you say, placing your hands over his. "The holidays aren't so bad with you around."

"I'm glad." He turns your head so he can place a quick kiss on your lips, one that is light and soft and sweet, full of love. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Jungkook," you echo, smiling brightly.

Later, Naomi corners the two of you, pulling you aside. "I've been thinking about what to give you," she says. "I—"

"Naomi, you don't have to give me anything!"

"Don't interrupt me," she scolds, but there's no bite behind it. "Like I was saying, I was thinking it over, and I realized that the best gift I could offer is not anything material. From tomorrow on, you will officially be a supervisor. A paid supervisor."

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you glance at Jungkook, who is beaming at you with pride. You turn back to Naomi, stuttering out a response.

"B-but Naomi, I couldn't possibly—"

"Yes, you can," she interrupts, her tone firm. "From the day you arrived here, you have been working as hard as any of us. You deserve this." Before you can argue any further, she thrusts a small envelope into your hands. "Consider it an early Christmas gift and your first paycheck. And my office? It's yours."

"Thank you, Naomi," you manage, your voice choked with emotion. You pull her into a hug, hoping it can express everything you don't know how to say.

She pats your back, chuckling. "If anything, it's an excuse for me to take some time off. I'm getting old and need to start sharing the burden. Don't expect it to be a walk in the park!"

You pull away, wiping a stray tear from your eye. "Of course not. I'm ready to be worked to the bone, ma'am."

"That's what I like to hear," she comments, her voice carrying an undertone of pride. She turns to Jungkook, her gaze soft but words sharp. "Take care of her, will you?"

"Always," he replies without a moment's hesitation, which earns him a small nod from Naomi.

Eventually, the celebrations wind down and people start to retreat to their beds until only you and Jungkook remain. Instead of doing the same, you decide to return to the pier and watch the water for a bit, not ready for the day to end. The two of you walk in comfortable silence, hands linked tightly as if promising not to let go.

Sitting at the edge of the pier, Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. His body heat seeps into your skin, fighting away the cold, and you rest your head on his chest, letting his strong, steady heartbeat lull you into contentment.

"Who would've thought we would end up here?" you reflect, staring out at the ocean.

Jungkook laughs softly, his chest rumbling beneath your ear. "I don't think either of us could have predicted this."

"I never thought I would be happy that any of this happened, but I am. Are you?"

His gaze softens as he takes in the sight of you. "More than I could possibly put into words," he admits.

"Will you miss it, though? Heaven?"

"I thought I would," he says, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "But Earth has its own kind of heaven. You're here. Naomi is here. The children are here. I have so much more yet to discover, to experience." His gaze returns to you, eyes soft and full of love. "How could I miss anything when I have all of this?”

Your heart swells at his words, his declaration warming you like nothing else could. You reach up to cup his face, your fingers lightly brushing his lips. His eyes flutter shut for a moment at your touch before opening again to hold your gaze.

"You're right," you whisper, your voice barely carrying over the sound of the waves. "This is our heaven. Here, with each other. And who knows, maybe we'll end up back there someday."

"You think?" Jungkook asks, raising an eyebrow. "I must say, I'm a little surprised hearing that from you. I didn't think you had faith anymore or wanted it for that matter."

You shrug. "Honestly, I don't know. I don't have my original beliefs anymore, that's for sure, but I don't resent it all like I once did, either. I think I've just found a new kind of faith. A faith in myself, in people, in goodness, and in love. There are so many different kinds of religions out there, and at their core, they're all about trying to understand the world around us, trying to find ways to cope and move forward. I think that's what I'm doing now, in my own way."

"That's beautiful," Jungkook says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Somehow both simple and complex. Just like life itself, I suppose."

"And what about you, Jungkook?” you ask, pecking him on the lips. How will you move forward?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure, either. But I think I'm happy to find out, as long as it's with you."

You hold each other close, each hoping your touch can express what no words could possibly convey. Love. Gratitude. Hope. The promise of a shared journey. What more could you possibly ask for?

TAGLIST: @yessa-vie

#jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #jungkook au #my fic #collab

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hongjoongscafe · 6 months ago

Text

Bloody Love...

Chapter: IX-Cello-

♠︎Pairing: yandere!king!jungkookxoc(coronis)

♠︎Genre: angst, smut, yandere, gore, dark romance, horror, creepy (dark fantasy).

♠︎Summary: "you happen to be in a world where wrong is right and right is wrong."

♠︎Word count: 2.4k+

♠︎Warning: manipulation, spirits.

♠︎Note: lemme know if you wanna be added to the permanent or specific taglist!

♠︎Masterpost

♠︎Serieslist.

(Please please please listen to this playlist I found. Play Ghost song at first and then just let it shuffle. Trust me you won't regret it. This is a violin and cello playlist that I luckily found. Please, do play. It will set the perfect mood for this chapter.) (this is the melody that His Majesty is playing. Listen to it once.)

…

Melancholy. The melody was melancholy as it vibrated through the air. The cello played a tune that earned the cries of demons.

The forbidden notes danced across the air, twirling around like handsome lovers in the ball, lost in their own tune, away from the forbidding eyes, claiming their love against the world.

The world moved along the tunes, in steady steps, crossing the lovers as they looked at them with disgust. The women hid their disgust behind the dirty, torn hats. The men spit on the polished shoes of the lover for intimately touching His beloved.

The melodies swirled around her, pulling her out of her slumber, begging her to move her feet with the music and dance for her saddened lover drowning in this forbidden love.

They manipulated her senses, holding her hand and waist closer to them as they danced toward the edge of the cliff. The wind threaded through her long locks and caressed her skin harshly. Even the winds stood against them. The sky growled at them. The thunder poured on them, trying to pry them apart. To break them. To hurt them. To make them fall… to never be loved by each other.

There was a striking scent in the air, different from the rotten stink of the slammer. It was roses mixed with a certain musky scent. The very scent that sent chills down Coronis’ spine. They complimented the melancholy of the notes and mixed them with the harmony. Even the scent was manipulated by the force of the power of the melodies played by the lover.

She shifted as she felt the soft mattress under her fatigued body, her head resting on the spongy cushions. It was as if she melted into the bed and was one with them. The silky cover covered her. Her long black hair was scattered around her.

Her eyes behind her lids fluttered and slowly opened.

Unhurriedly, she blinked, trying to adjust her eyes out of blurriness. The darkness of the bedchamber cleared in front of her eyes, pushing her back to reality and yet her mind still sucked into the manipulation of the cello. She was dazed. The magic of the music captured her. As if they cuffed her hands and feet down to the reel world of forbidden love.

The purple of the chamber with dark gold furnishings was reflected in the burnt orange of the hundreds of candles burning on the candelabra and the chandelier above. The thorny black and red roses taunted her from the sides of the bed. The purple of the silk sheets and the bed hangings turned her into the royal of the heart of the devil.

The devil who sat at the far end, near the large windows, the manipulator of the music. His broad shoulders curved under His thick clothing. His arm swiftly manoeuvred the melody into the roundness of lugubrious.

The side of His face glowed under the candles, reflecting His static emotions. Deep into the heart He was lost. As if His inner voices consumed Him, whispered to Him.

The sounds still danced around the chamber, twisting and turning like a hazy aura.

Softly she stepped off the bed. Steady feet, she tiptoed towards Him as her heart thumped heavily inside her chest, aching for something she never craved. Her mind was blurred under His spell.

She swayed and danced slowly closer to Him. Deep into her daze, her eyes followed His sight, who was looking deep into the curves of the redness of the gigantic moon outside the window.

Her eyes filled. Her mind numbed. Her small hands fisted in anger.

The hatred of the unknown filled her. Who were those who forbid the love of the forbidden?

The cries of the spirits echoed in her mind. They screamed and sobbed painfully.

In a heavy daze, her foot thumped against the table, shattering the glass full of wine down the rug.

The spell broke.

The cello stopped.

The eyes of the Lord returned back to reality.

Coronis woke up from the blur of the spell. The hazy melodies in the air fell down and vanished. The sensibility dawned on her. Her feet stopped and her eyes widened.

The event of the slammer roughed around her head, scratching the membranes of her brain. The horror skimmed into her nerves as she gasped and harshly stepped back. She stumbled and fell on the rug and crawled backwards, away from the King.

His Majesty stood up and settled His cello down on the chair. He adjusted His clothes and looked at Coronis. His eyes softened and His shoulders relaxed.

“You are awake,” He said as she trembled like a dying bird on the ground. “I was worried you weren't waking up. It has been two nights.”

Her breath hitched. Two night? I remained asleep for two night? Did I sleep in His bed all this time? What did he do to me? Did he touch me? The worries crawled under her skin as disgust filled just like the people in the daze.

He walked closer and closer and kneeled down in front of her petite form. The back of His fingers gently caressed her pale cheek. “You don't look as good, my beautiful. I must feed you something. You have lost weight and look queasy.”

Coronis's teeth cluttered as she tried to move away from His warm, bloodied hands. “Please,” she begged weakly.

The palm of His hand softly held her cheek as His thumb rubbed the high of her cheekbone. “Why, my little birdy. Why are you begging me? What is it you need?” He spoke like a lover to His beloved.

“Let me go,” the tears rolled down her cheeks. “Let me go back.”

She didn't catch the subtle twitch in His jaw. “Do not ask for the impossible, my little birdy. The moment you stepped into the clutch of my palace, you became mine. And I will not let go of what is mine.” He looked to the side and said, “Jimin, Ana.”

Coronis now noticed the guard by the door who opened the door slightly and forwarded the command to the guard outside the chamber. She gasped when she felt The King picking her up and taking her to the bed and resting her there. He covered her legs with the sheet and sat facing her on the edge of the bed.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asked, wearily. She did not understand why The Lord was being so gentle with her as if she was a delicate glass. But if that had been the situation then why did he bring her here at all? Why didn't he just let her be free?

He chuckled, breathy and licked His lower lip before he spoke. “I can't punish you more than I already did,” the honey poured from His voice. “You are mine. And you belong here, right next to me. Not somewhere like that,” His eyes were burning with menace. The orange of the candle and the red of the moon painted His face into the depth of the details.

Her brain was spinning in her skull. Her thoughts were mingled. All she could see was a monster in a handsome body. “It’s not right,” she whispered, scared to even breathe in His way.

He scoffed, softly as he tipped her chin with His finger. His eyes looked into hers. “My beautiful,” he muttered, His face only inches away from hers. “you happen to be in a world where wrong is right and right is wrong.”

Her eyes widened but before she could speak, the door to the Chamber opened. A lady in a long maroon gown, with her head bowed, stepped inside the room. Her hands were busy with a wide tray.

“May Your Highness live long,” she paid her courtesy to Him. She moved like a ghost to the table in front of the sofa, placed the tray on it and waited.

“Ana,” His Majesty began, still looking deep into the voidful eyes of Coronis. “She is soon to be Queen Consort. Treat her like one,” His pupils dilated as he said the next thing. “If not… I won't care if you are a man or a woman…”

He got up and moved away. His heavy presence followed His steps. He nodded at Jimin once and left the chamber altogether but not without having one look of her over His shoulder.

Her eyes stayed on the door as the lady, Ana, tended to her needs.

As Coronis was deep into her mind, the impression of His Majesty flashed in front of her eyes when He was playing the cello. His black, still expressions were raw. He was consumed by the powers inside Him.

There was more to Him. More than the ruthless demeanour he carried.

In the end, no one is born a villain.

…

The night went by like the good times. His Majesty did not return back but the guard– Jimin– stayed there the whole night.

In the early moments of dawn, Ana came in and guided Coronis to another chamber. “This is where you shall live until His Majesty commands otherwise,” said Ana as she guided her to the adjoining toilet. There was a big tub in the middle, surrounded by the candles. The petals of roses in the cloudy water were pretty.

“Your highness, His Highness has demanded your presence in the court, this gathering. We must prepare you for the formality.” there was a beat before she whispered “Please do not make this harder. For you and I, it will not end pleasantly… now if we have your permission.” She featherly took hold of the dress she was wearing.

That left no choice behind so she hesitantly nodded. There were two more girls slightly older than herself waiting in the tub. Ana helped her into the tub and the others cleaned her.

She silently waited for them to be done, accepting this as her life for now. Knowing that fighting against the word of The Lord won't end anywhere near joyously.

In a few, she was all dolled up for The King. Her hair was pinned up, her body was clad in a beautiful black gown. Its heavy georgette trail draped behind her and her head was covered with a black fine net veil.

Walking down the corridors of the palace, the eerie-ness shadowed her. Like a blur, everything passes by. A true feeling realizing that her life was never hers. Even living in the village was for His sake.

No one was alive who didn't work for him. Alive had a purpose… a purpose to worship His Highness. Nobody worked for themselves but Him. His command was their purpose. He was the one who owned her, and let her live.

Everything was his. The air, the ground, the animal, the human, the right to live, the right to die… it was all his.

He was the Giver.

And He was the Grim Reaper.

A lonely tear silently rolled down her cheek under the veil. Defeat.

The heavy cold gust narrowed down the T-point. Ana stopped Coronis from stepping forward. They, Ana and three other girls who were escorting her bowed down as the steps of the cold huddled through the path.

“Bow down, and close your eyes,” Ana whispered to her. She bowed, her head and her eyes closed.

There it was… a heavy presence of a spirit in front of her that stopped. They made their presence known. She felt the eyes of the spirit taking her in. There was a cold feeling lingering on her cheek and then on her head, and then it felt as if they held her hands in their cold ones.

“For He is wicked, you shall be the cure…,” A whisper barely made it into her ears. A shivering spark travelled down her spine.

The clicks went farther away. The hushed whispers dissolved in the air, away from them.

Coronis opened her eyes and her sight fell on her hands. The streaks of red painted her skin and a lone petal of black rose in her palm.

The sorrow of the spirit…

She clutched the petal in her hand. Something in her telling her to not let the mournful go.

For He is wicked, you shall be the cure…

…

The Lord was on His throne, ever so pridefully, looking down at her as she paid her curtsy to Him. He had never seen a sight so beautiful. So delicate, and yet so powerful.

She reminds Him of Her. She was delicate and yet She held Her head high up. Like the queen She was, She never bowed down… Until…

But even She wasn't as beautiful as His birdy was.

His lips stretched into a thin smirk. Coronis was His.

“My beautiful birdy,” he rasped. “Have I ever known there was such a beauty living in the village of rotten, I would have chased you long ago. I could have taken you under my wing and kept you like a princess all along.

“Poor, my heart, craved for you and didn't even know,” he continued. “And today, here you stood… attired like all mine.” His eyes took in the length of the court, looking wickedly into the eyes of the voiceless ministers, passing the silent threat of never daring to look at his princess birdy who stood there like a delicate flower… like a delicate rose.

He took a deep breath, feeling prideful for what He was about to say.

“I hereby announce the wedding ceremony with my bethorled. We shall tie the knot on the sixth night from today. There shall be no delays and no antagonism regarding the said shall be endured,” His voice was loud and clear.

For ages, He wandered around the palace and His life. Not once did He find His peak interest. But now he understood that his miserable life was meant to be bound with her. She was His purpose. To keep her. To protect her. She was what His interest peaked in.

He saw how her body froze. Then she shook. She was breaking down right there as everyone saw it unfold.

Rising from His throne, he descended down the stairs and stood toe to toe with his Queen-to-be. Holding her left hand in His, “Today I put my ring on your finger as a promise to tie a knot in six nights. I mark you as mine as the witnesses witness my word,” He said as he slipped the black diamond ring. His hand disappeared inside his Mantle and pulled the familiar bone necklace out. “And from now on,” He slipped his hands under the veil and tied the necklace. “This remains around you. Only when I say, you will put it away.”

He saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. The black of the kohl smeared along with them. He wiped them with his thumb, cupped her face and made her look into his eyes through the veil.

“Beautiful…” Coronis’s eyes widened as He whispered. “My heart breaks every so little when I look into the depths of your beautiful eyes. No one was born as beautiful as you are, my little birdy.”

He admired her, taking every inch of her face. The perfect slope of her nose. The perfect plum lips. The enticing scent of her skin. “Take my love back to her chamber. And start preparing for the ceremony,” he commanded Ana and kissed the ring on Coronis's hand before letting go.

He watched her retreat. The trail of her gown flowed before him.

For a few, the chaos in Him tamed down and gazed at her. They starved to devour her and love her. Caress her soft skin under His fingertips and give her the taste of the pleasure he craved.

Six more nights.

He repeated again and again until His mind fell numb.

“Six more nights… and nothing will take you away…”

…

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taexual · 1 year ago

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sleepwalking ● 17 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language and depictions of medical treatment (mentions of an IV, not overly descriptive), fluff (!), angst, A LOT of pent-up emotions, SLOW BURN

words: 15.5k (help)

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 17 ► looking sideways when i say i’m okay with the past, but i’m afraid of what i might say if you ask

When you regained consciousness, it took you a few more minutes to understand what was happening.

In your hazy mind, the first clear thought you could grasp was a memory: Jungkook had gotten into a fight. Instinctively, you imagined yourself standing up and finding him. Not because your job required you to—honestly, you weren’t sure what job you even had at this point, your mind hadn’t sorted itself out yet—but because you wanted to see if he was okay.

You tried to open your eyes, but the room was spinning, and you felt a little queasy from the unexpected vertigo.

You shut your eyes again and tried to focus on your other senses—as best as you could without moving—hoping that this would answer some of the new questions forming in your mind.

You did not know where you were or how you got here, but the room was warm. The lack of proper ventilation made the air feel stuffy.

You didn’t hear any background noise, so you assumed you weren’t at a hospital. But you could hear a lot of shouting in the room. You thought you discerned three different voices, but they were all talking over each other, so it was hard to tell.

You were lying on something soft but scratchy, and a heavy duvet pressed you into the bed. It felt comforting, but you were starting to sweat.

Someone’s hand was on your wrist, their fingers cold.

Reflexively, you squeezed their hand.

“Don’t move,” someone whispered right next to you. Jungkook, you realised. “We’ve called a doctor.”

Your initial reaction was relief. He was here, so he had to be okay.

Your next reaction, however, was pure panic. You didn’t need a doctor. You just needed a minute.

“We should have taken her to a hospital,” another voice argued. “I’ll never forgive you if anything happens to her.”

That had to be Luna, you were sure of it. Your eyes remained closed, but you could envision your friend with her arms crossed over her chest, regarding the boy next to you with a scorching glare.

You didn’t like this mention of a hospital.

You squeezed Jungkook’s hand again, but even as he tried to explain to Luna that you would go on a particularly bloody rampage if he took you to a hospital—he had a point and you would have felt grateful if you hadn’t been so distressed—she still wasn’t hearing him.

You opened your mouth and felt your chapped lips tighten painfully.

“No hospital, please,” you croaked in the voice of someone who had been a successful chain smoker for over fifty years.

You heard Luna whisper-yell, “you’re unbelievable, the both of you!” and you tried to open your eyes again, but nothing had changed. It still felt a bit like gravity had taken a day off as the room and everyone around you continued to float.

You heard a faint voice that you did not recognise, and from the official tone and the immediate chill you felt inside, you deduced that it was the doctor.

“I’m going to administer a very mild sedative,” he said—to whom, you weren’t sure. Your insides felt very heavy. “And set up a drip. Make sure she doesn’t move much or the catheter will—oh, see, like that. That can’t happen.”

Your muscles spasmed involuntarily. Something pricked your arm. You didn’t mind needles, but you did not like IVs. You didn’t need to be sedated.

“I don’t think—” you tried to say when you felt something cold on your arm—the doctor’s hands, presumably, in very unpleasant, squeaky latex gloves. “I don’t think I need this.”

“Can you open your eyes for me, please?” the doctor asked.

“No,” you said with what you hoped was a shake of your head. In reality, you merely wrinkled your nose. “T-that is not something I can do right now. But in a—”

“Your body needs rest,” the doctor explained. Jungkook moved closer until he was clutching your hand with both of his. “It won’t knock you out, but it will relax you, make you a little drowsy. That will likely help you fall asleep naturally. Is that all right?”

You lacked the strength to tell him that you were already very tired—or the strength to tell him that you still had things to do, so you couldn’t just sleep.

The memory of the flooding at the venue in Manchester came back to your mind and your muscles tensed again.

Really, you were about to refuse, but there was hardly anything you disliked more than inconveniencing people. They had invited a doctor for you. He was just doing his job.

“Okay,” you said in quiet defeat.

“Your friends are in the room with you,” the doctor said. You felt a cold sensation on your arm. “They will stay with you and make sure you get plenty of rest. Even after you wake up, you must spend as much time in bed as you possibly can.”

“Don’t phrase it like that,” you heard Jungkook object. “Give us a specific time, or she’ll be out of bed as soon as she wakes up.”

Silence followed. You tried to imagine what was happening. Jungkook must have looked very eager—in his exaggerated manner, which resembled desperation rather than hope. Luna probably nodded in agreement. The doctor, if he was kind enough, smiled at them patiently.

“Two days,” he finally stated. “Today and tomorrow, at the very least. If she has to walk, someone should accompany her. But don’t keep her on her feet for too long. I’ve seen the crowd of people outside this room—don’t tire her out. There should only be one or two people in the room with her, all right? Proper nutrition, sufficient sleep, and a—”

You felt yourself drifting off, and the doctor’s words faded and merged together until you were no longer sure whether you were imagining what a doctor would say in this situation, or if he was actually speaking.

When you opened your eyes again, Luna and Maggie were seated in the armchairs next to your bed. The room had stabilised, allowing you to take in your surroundings before Luna glanced up from her phone and Maggie pulled out her earpods, noticing that you were awake.

The space around you appeared to be a hotel room. Next to the bed stood a metal bar with bags of faint yellow liquid on it. A catheter was attached to your arm and an intravenous line led to it from the drip. You shivered at the sight of it.

“Oh!” Luna’s gasp drew your attention back to her. She dropped her phone on her seat and straightened up. “How are you feeling?”

Right away, Maggie jumped up and removed her earpods.

“Confused,” you spoke and immediately tried to clear your prickly throat.

Maggie leapt forward and grabbed an empty glass from the bedside table. She poured some water from one of the three bottles on the floor and handed it to you.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had water. It tasted heavenly.

“You’re in a hotel room,” Luna explained as you drank. Maggie sat down on the armrest of her friend’s chair. “In Manchester.”

The mention of the city made you glare at her, and both girls breathed a sigh of relief. At least you knew where you were in a broader sense.

“It’s 7 PM,” Luna said after checking her phone. “The band has a day off tomorrow because the concert’s been postponed—”

“Because of the flooding,” you finished, leaning forward to put the glass back on the table. “I remember, Luna. Thanks. What, um—how come I’m here?”

Luna looked at Maggie for a moment, wordlessly asking her to take over the story.

“Well, you fainted,” Maggie started. She wasn’t usually a woman of many words, and this time was no different, which you found comforting. If Maggie didn’t think it was necessary to talk for hours, then you must not have been doing that bad. “Jungkook found you.”

“Yeah,” Luna had to interject with more details—she was still irked about his decision to book a hotel room instead of a hospital room. “And then he spent half an hour describing your symptoms. It took the doctor all of one second to diagnose you with burnout and put you on a vitamin drip. He told us to keep you on bed rest and watch for any more nosebleeds or fainting spells. If they continue, you’ll need to go into urgent care.”

You wanted to ask questions—where did they find this doctor? Where was this hotel? What was happening at the venue?—but the girls were on a roll.

“Meanwhile, I wasn’t even allowed in the room,” Maggie said, returning to her chair and sitting down properly. She was upset that she had missed what Luna had just summarised for you. “The doctor told us that only one person could stay, but neither Luna, nor Jungkook agreed to leave. So, no one else could come in until you were feeling better.”

“Jungkook was the one who decided on the hotel room, by the way,” Luna remarked, seemingly glad to finally express her frustrations. “I argued. I think you should at least have a blood test done. What if you’re anaemic? But—”

“I’m not anaemic,” you finally interrupted as you settled back on the bed. The mattress quickly adjusted to the shape of your body. Closing your eyes, you had to admit that the bed was really quite comfortable. Perhaps you could stay here for a few more hours. “This has happened to me before. I’ll be fine.”

Luna sighed. Her knowledge of the last time this had happened to you came from Jungkook’s haphazard stream of thought as he tried to explain to the doctor that the two of you had been in this exact situation before—you, unconscious, and he, on the verge of losing his mind.

Honestly, for a moment, Luna thought the doctor had considered sedating Jungkook instead of you.

“I knew you were going to say that,” she muttered after a minute. “Jungkook seemed to believe you’d shoot us all dead if we took you to a hospital.”

Gratitude bubbled up in your chest, but when you saw your friend’s solemn features, you tried to soften your response.

“I wouldn’t have shot you,” you said. “I would have smothered you all with pillows."

Maggie scoffed, and Luna rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips still turned up.

“Nice to see you haven’t gained a sense of humour while you were out,” Maggie teased.

“Ha,” you responded dryly—but you were smiling, too.

Luna crossed her legs on the armchair to get more comfortable. She glanced at Maggie anxiously. The girls weren’t sure if they were tiring you out with their conversation, but you were looking up at the ceiling, not indicating that you were tired in any way, so they decided to continue.

“So, want to tell us how this happened, then?” Luna asked.

You turned your head to her. “I was hoping you’d tell me. I can’t exactly remember.”

“You fainted,” Maggie reminded you. Luna leaned over and gave her a pat on the arm, thanking her for this valuable reminder.

You smiled gently. “You mentioned that. Where’d the doctor come from?”

“Oh, Jungkook found one,” Maggie said. “There’s a clinic across the street from the venue. And this hotel is right next door.”

“Oh.”

A minute passed as you attempted to piece it all together.

You could not remember any of this, but the news that Jungkook had taken care of most things was not calming. He must have really been going out of his mind.

You were curious about where he was, but you didn’t want to ask. Your paranoid mind made you think that any question about Jungkook that was not related to Rated Riot was unnecessary and would, therefore, be misunderstood. Your friends already seemed like they were resisting a few additional comments for the sake of your health.

“So,” Luna started after a quiet minute, “how come you fainted?"

You exhaled and tried to scratch your eyebrow, but the catheter tugged painfully at your skin, and you winced instead.

You dropped your hand back down. “I-I... I guess I overestimated myself.”

Luna pushed the IV stand closer to your bed so you could have more freedom with your limbs. You nodded gratefully.

“You’re going to have to slow down,” Luna said. “It’s no longer negotiable, I’m afraid. If you don’t listen to us, we will take you to a hospital.”

It was the plural pronoun that bothered you the most, but you forced yourself to swallow your discomfort at disrupting the daily routines of your friends.

“I’ll be alright soon,” you said. “And I promise this won’t happen again.”

“It had better not,” Maggie chimed in. “And what’s with this hatred of hospitals? You don’t like that they’re full of people who want to help you feel better?”

“I don’t hate them,” you said, which wasn’t entirely true. Your experiences in hospitals included your mum crying, and you’d rather not relive that—not so soon after your brother broke his leg. “I just don’t have time for them. I’m okay.”

Luna gave you a stern look. Even Maggie, who was usually quite calm when you said you were fine, was glowering a little.

“Fine,” you conceded. “I’ll endure this drip and then I'll be okay. Thank you for being here.”

Luna made a deliberate scene of fixing the bags on the metal stand—clearly intending to emphasise the seriousness of your condition—and then lowered herself back into her armchair.

“You’re welcome,” she said.

Smiling at both of your girls—to distract them from further discussing your health—you said, “I love you.”

“We love you, too,” Maggie said. “And, babe, just so you know, it’s not just us. There was—everyone was here. The concierge nearly fainted when he saw us all in the hallway.”

Your smile quickly fell. “What do you mean, everyone?”

“We took care of it, don’t worry,” Luna interjected, sensing your growing panic. “Maggie and I talked to Seokjin, Jimin, and Namjoon, who then spoke to the rest of the staff and escorted them out. And Jungkook took care of his band.”

The panic lingered. Your job was solving crises, not causing them. You did not like this.

“He took care of them?” you repeated, swallowing.

“Well, they were very worried,” Luna explained, glancing at Maggie for help. Maggie only nodded, indicating her agreement. “And, uh, they were very loud, too. He told them to go and texted them updates every ten minutes.”

“God.” You closed your eyes and carefully tried to prop yourself up into a half-sitting position. “What updates? I was asleep.”

“That’s what he’s been texting them,” Luna explained. “Every ten minutes, on the dot. And then Taehyung texted me, asking why I kicked his best friend out of your room—which is ridiculous because I did not kick him out. But you’re my best friend, so technically, I would have had the right to kick him out if you were uncomfortable.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose with your hand and shook your head, an involuntary smile creeping onto your face at your friend’s protectiveness. “I’m comfortable. Thank you.”

“Are you going to see him?” Maggie asked.

You looked up at her. “Jungkook?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “He’s right behind the door, you know. Glued to the wall in the hallway.”

Your gaze slid down her dark blue jacket and focused on the mirror on the wall behind her. “Oh.”

“The doctor said he would need to go to the hospital, too, by the way,” Luna said, earning a surprised look from you. “He said the bandages around his head looked very threatening.”

You pressed your lips together. You’d expected that, but you still felt a fleeting twinge of disappointment—you’d covered his wounds to the best of your ability. And the bandages were honestly not the worst part of this.

“The doctor hasn’t even seen what’s underneath,” you said.

“He has now, actually,” Maggie replied. “He went to the emergency room about an hour ago to have them changed.”

You were too taken aback to properly understand her. “Jungkook did?”

“Yeah,” Luna said, pulling her phone out. Your mind tuned out her next few sentences as you struggled to come to terms with the fact that Jungkook had gone to the emergency room on his own accord. “—and he called us from the hospital. Apparently, he pestered the nurses with questions about what else we could do to help you feel better. They told him to leave, but he wanted to hear from us—in case we thought you needed anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if he brought a heart monitor here, just in case.”

Maggie snickered—but caught the serious looks on the faces around her and covered it up with a fractured cough—while you groaned and rubbed your eyes. You wouldn’t have been surprised, either.

You exhaled. “Yeah—I-I’ll see him. If that’s okay with you?”

Both girls nodded and got up from their seats. Before they went, however, they convinced you to accept their help to complete the difficult task—as you pointed out while rolling your eyes—of walking ten steps to the bathroom, and then ten steps back to your bed. Clearly, they were taking the doctor’s orders very seriously.

“We’ll be right outside,” Luna said once you settled back in bed. “Call or text—”

“No,” you protested. “You can’t—you don’t need to stay here. You’ve already done so much.”

“We were just sitting in your room with you,” Maggie said. “It’s hardly anything. Don’t worry about us.”

“It’s not hardly anything,” you disagreed. “At least get something to eat.”

The two girls looked at each other. Maggie shrugged and then looked back at you, still doubtful. You nodded with more conviction.

“We’ll pick up some food for everyone and come back,” Luna finally decided. “Okay?”

You nodded again. “Okay. Thank you.”

As soon as the girls opened the door to your hotel room, you heard shuffling outside—as if someone had been leaning right up against the door and scrambled away before it opened.

“You may come in,” Luna told Jungkook with excessive dramatics as she and Maggie turned to wave at you again.

You gave them another nod and watched as Jungkook tentatively walked inside. He turned to close the door behind him and lingered, for an awkward moment, at the entrance.

His bandages were fresh and none of the scantily wrapped bruises were visible any longer. Perhaps they would heal in time for the concert.

Before you could express your hopes out loud, however, Jungkook took a shaky breath and approached you.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know what I would have done if—”

“W-why are you sorry?” you cut him off, disturbed by the absolute devastation in his voice.

He was right next to your bed now, barely able to inhale. “It’s—you—you fainted—and—it was because—I shouldn’t—”

It hit you, suddenly, why he was hyperventilating so much. And the shock of this realisation was so great that you could not react immediately, and he proceeded to stutter for another few moments.

“This—it has nothing—this isn’t about you,” you finally said, almost as coherent as he was.

Still, he persisted, “but I—you—I was—I should have—”

“I didn’t faint because of you, Jungkook,” you said more firmly. There were several reasons why he should have felt guilty, of course, but this was definitely not one of them.

He finally stopped speaking, although the rapid process of inhaling and exhaling—which caused his shoulders to hunch and straighten from the intensity of the motions—continued for another minute.

Then he gave you a long, uncertain look. You maintained eye contact and watched as his breathing gradually slowed. You had never seen him panic so much and so suddenly—he had seemed almost perfectly fine when he came in, but it took him all of two seconds to fall apart.

Slowly, he regained control of his breathing and looked you over once more.

“Okay,” he said, shifting his weight to his other leg. “I-I don’t know if that—if it makes me feel better, but—”

“Thank you,” you said.

Lost in his own thoughts, he craned his neck towards you. “Hm?”

“Luna and Maggie told me you’re the one who found me.”

Jungkook looked briefly embarrassed.

“I explicitly asked them not to tell,” he said.

You smiled. “I’m sure this was Force majeure, so don’t blame them. And they’re my best friends anyway.”

“Clearly.” He brought his hands down his face before admitting, “I just—I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.”

A part of you thought he was right to assume that. You shouldn’t want to see him.

But another part of you forced you to lower your gaze and twiddle your thumbs nervously as you linked your hands on your stomach.

“No, uh, see,” you began with a nervous chuckle. “That’s, uh—that’s almost the worst part of this whole thing. My plan, really, was to avoid you.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows, then politely lowered them. He placed his hand on the back of the armchair and said, profoundly, “very mature.”

“You don’t get to judge,” you warned.

The corner of his lip quirked. “Just making an observation.”

“So, my plan was to avoid you,” you continued. “But we both know how that ended. And then I woke up here, sort of feeling like I was floating in a space station somewhere near Saturn, and you know what my first thought was?”

Jungkook thought he was floating in a space station somewhere near Saturn.

“Wh—um, what?” he asked.

“My first thought was if you were okay.”

You looked at him as you said that, and he thought he saw the rest of his life flash before his eyes—a life that, just a few days ago, he’d deemed meaningless.

Without any proper distractions, it was just him and his thoughts, and they were never good company. They hated him for losing you.

But then you fainted and now that you’ve regained consciousness, your first thought was if he was okay.

He didn’t trust his legs very much anymore.

“Can I sit?” he asked, a little breathless again.

You took a second to reply, and he interpreted it as a sign of hesitation. “You can.”

Suspicious, he asked, “will you try to leave if I sit?”

You gave him a questioning look and nudged your hand, causing the IV bags to wobble. “Does it look like I can move around with this?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “You might still try.”

You snorted and shook your head. “Just sit down, Jungkook.”

He sat down.

The two of you were a peculiar sight like this. If this were a role-playing video game, there would have been exclamation marks over your heads—and if you had been approached, the list of conversation starters the player could choose would have been, simply, endless.

There was so much you wanted to say and ask each other, but the strength of your resistance was absurdly impressive.

One thought, however, overwhelmed everything, and it was very simple: how little everything else mattered compared to your health.

Jungkook took a deep breath and looked at you, taking in your tired, but ceaselessly dreamlike features.

Slowly, he found himself calming down. As long as you were here, as long as you were okay, things would work out one way or another.

“I, um—your mum called, by the way,” Jungkook said. “I have your phone. It fell out of your jacket when I—when I found you.”

Right away, you felt a surge of panic. You and your mum had a deal. She knew you were busy, so she would text sometimes, but never call. Unless something had happened.

“My—she called me?” you repeated with so much concern that Jungkook noticed the drip stand shake a little from the force of your distress. “Did you answer?”

He felt his own hands return to their almost natural trembling. “Uh, well, as it happened—I did.”

“Why did she call? What happened?”

“Well, nothing,” he said. “She said she hadn’t heard from you in a while, and she was worried.”

Mother’s intuition, she had called it when she spoke to you. When you returned to your dorm after your hospital stay six years ago, she had called you because “for some reason” she couldn’t sleep for two nights in a row. She didn’t know you were ill, of course, but it touched you, this maternal feeling that transcended all logic.

It could have been a coincidence, you supposed. Lots of things were.

“What did you say?” you asked.

“I said you had a lot of things to take care of,” Jungkook replied. “But you’d call her when you had a free moment.”

You watched him as he spoke and noticed his eyes widen momentarily, clearly taken aback by what he’d just seen in your expression. You realised you hadn’t expected him to hide this from your mum, and your surprise must have shown.

Blinking, you turned away and gripped the edge of your duvet.

“Thank you,” you said.

“I also told her you’re very stressed,” he added quieter.

“Oh—well, that—you could have kept that to yourself,” you said, less enthusiastic about his thoughtfulness. “She’s going to freak out about it.”

“Let her,” he countered. “You’re her child. She’s worried about you. You have to let people worry about you when there’s a reason to.”

You had a different opinion, of course. But instead of arguing, you chose to find out what conclusions your mum had drawn from this brief exchange. She hadn’t heard from Jungkook directly in years, even though she knew you were working together.

“What did she—was she surprised to hear from you?” you asked.

Your question made Jungkook appear as if he was trying very hard to tap dance while sitting down. He bounced his legs, tapped his feet, and occasionally scratched something under his chin, above his nose, or on the back of his neck.

“Uh, well, we’re, um, you know,” he said. You were almost ready to assume that he was hiding something else. “You and me—w-we’re working together. She wasn’t that surprised.”

“Right, but I mean—”

“I told her not to worry too much, and that you’d love to hear from her,” he finished, skilfully diverting from the topic and speaking even louder so you wouldn’t have a chance to interject with another question. “She said she’d text you, and you should call her when you have a minute. Not right now, though. You’re resting now.”

Again, you tried, “I’m just—”

“She put Kai on the phone, too,” he added. “So, I talked to him for a second. He called you an idiot.”

That took a very unusual turn, you thought in surprise. Your mum hadn’t spoken to Jungkook in years, and now she wanted to put your brother on the phone, too—you were simply confused.

“He—why’d he say that?” you asked, presently more unnerved by the name-calling than your mother’s unexpected choices.

“For forgetting to call your mum, he said. And for working too much,” Jungkook replied. “Which is precisely what I warned you about in Amsterdam, so I honestly can’t believe this happened to you again. We asked you to take it easy, so at least listen to us now, and—”

It was hard to breathe in this still room, with the force of everyone’s concern weighing you down.

Slowly, you kicked one leg out from under the duvet. “I did take it easy.”

“Right,” he said, closing his eyes and mumbling, “you never fucking take it easy.”

You heaved yourself up to your feet, holding onto the IV stand for support. “I was—”

Jungkook looked up and jumped to his feet as soon as he realised what you were doing. “Where are you going? Sit down.”

“I’m fine. I’m just—”

He blocked your way, quickly ensuring that you did not have enough space to take another step.

“See, I told you you’d do this,” he groaned, his chest pressed against yours. “Just sit down.”

You tried not to stagger backwards—which was his intention, of course—and still stood your ground. “I just want to open the window, I’m—”

“Sit down.”

Huffing in angry resignation, you sat back down.

“Okay,” he said, stepping back from the bed to give you more space. “Now lie down.”

You rolled your eyes but settled back into a horizontal position, glaring at him all the while.

“Should I roll over, too?” you bit. “Give you a paw?”

“Not unless you want to.”

You bared your teeth. “Funny.”

“Just lie down, please,” he reiterated. “And just—just rest, okay? For a little while, at least. I’ll open the window.” He saw you open your mouth and added hurriedly, “I know you can do it yourself. But let me.”

Sighing, you surrendered to the warm confines of the duvet. “Okay. Thanks.”

He crossed the room and struggled with the curtains for a moment. He could tell you were watching him, and he felt irrationally nervous—he thought that if he did something wrong, you would try to get up again. Finally, he grabbed the handle of the window, twisted it and pulled. A moment or two later, a welcome breeze finally filled the stuffy room.

Relieved to be able to breathe something other than your discomfort, you watched Jungkook return to his armchair.

“You didn’t tell me if you’re okay,” you reminded him. “How’s your eye?”

He looked confused as he lifted his hand—as if to verify if the eye in question was still there—then paused and dropped it again.

“It’s working,” he said, sitting back down next to your bed.

“And the pain?”

He shrugged. “Bearable.”

“Good,” you said, slipping your hands under the covers and resting them on your stomach. “I’m glad you took out your eyebrow piercing before the whole thing with Sid, by the way. Otherwise, we might have had even more problems.”

Jungkook didn’t want that to be your shared problem—he was determined to carry out his plan, which he boldly referred to as “Getting My Shit Together”—but at the same time, he was glad that he didn’t cause you any additional distress. Honestly, he couldn’t have cared less about his piercings right now.

“I—yeah.” He rubbed his eyebrow absentmindedly. “I hadn’t planned it like that, but it worked out, I guess.”

“Did you get any rest?” you asked then.

The question felt misplaced, and his stomach sank at the sheer wrongness of it. You were always worried about others. And he always gave you reasons to worry.

Really, while he was happy—alright, ecstatic—that you thought of him, he should have been the one asking you this.

“How, uh—how do you mean?” he returned.

“After the flight,” you said.

He looked down at the beige carpet under his boots and shook his head. He couldn’t have slept even if he wanted to—not until he was sure you weren’t on your feet, insisting you were okay.

“I don’t need rest,” he said.

But as you looked at him, it was clear that rest was exactly what he needed. Beneath the imposing bandages, his eyes were bloodshot, and his skin was pale and waxy. He was still beautiful—Maggie would have made a joke about it—but in a way that made your heart ache if you looked at him too long.

“You should go,” you said. “Get some sleep.”

Jungkook gave you a look as if you had just confessed that you enjoyed beheading people in your spare time: incredulous and slightly offended.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

This was going to turn into a childish game, you knew it. But you tapped your thumbs together and still tried.

“What if I want to be alone?” you asked.

“Then I’ll call Luna and Maggie.”

Your arched eyebrows challenged his solution.

“When I said alone,” you clarified, “I didn’t mean not with you.”

For just a split second, he looked almost relieved to hear this. Then he bit his lip and brought a hand over his knee.

“If my presence is not the problem,” he said, “then I’m staying.”

“The problem,” you argued, “is that you’re going to end up in this bed, connected to an IV, if you don’t sleep.”

“Let’s cut to the chase,” he offered. “I’m not leaving you alone. In fact, I’m staying. Unless you explicitly tell me you can’t stand to look at me anymore.”

He gave you an opening to tease, and you enjoyed building up to it as you looked down and ran your tongue over your lips.

“And, uh, you’d leave then?” you asked—taunted, really.

“Begrudgingly,” he replied, as discontented as you were amused.

You nodded. “Alright.”

He raised his eyebrows, slightly dispirited. “You’re going to tell me to go?”

“No,” you said. “Stay.”

So he stayed.

And this moment in the hotel room, as the vitamin drip dribbled quietly into the intravenous tube, did not just feel bizarre. It felt a little like a parallel universe—like you’d lost consciousness in a world where you were very angry and very stressed, and had woken up in a world where only subtle echoes of all the fervent emotions you’d once felt existed.

In this world, all that you were feeling was eclipsed by what really mattered: the people who were in this room with you and had been waiting outside of it.

But you felt another particularly prominent sentiment, which was heightened even more by Jungkook’s relentless focus on you. You did not want to name it, however. To identify it was to give it power over you, and you liked to believe that you had your heartbeat under control right now.

“It’s like—this is just like back then again,” Jungkook said suddenly. “Isn’t it?”

You exhaled, returning to the jagged, uncertain moment.

“Yeah...” you said, stretching the vowels in a frantic attempt to fill the space that would soon turn into an awkward silence. “Thank you for not taking me to a hospital this time. This really isn’t so bad.”

“It is bad,” he disagreed right away. “But I didn’t want you to have another reason to feel stressed. I thought a hotel room would relax you more than a hospital room.”

“It would,” you said. “Thanks.”

He hung his head. “Yeah.”

Not the awkward silence, not the awkward silence, not the—

“Well,” you inhaled, “at least you won’t have to study for any finals this time, right?”

You expected him to smile back at the gentle jab about him failing his exam the last time you were in the hospital. But when Jungkook looked up, he looked crestfallen somehow—almost like he was disappointed that he did not have to study for finals this time.

“Yeah, um, actually—I-I didn’t fail my exam because I didn’t study for it,” he said in a slow, contemplative tone. He wasn’t sure if he could ever admit this to you, but he figured he didn’t have much left to lose. He’d already told you so much. He might as well tell you all the rest. “I failed because your friend texted me about twenty minutes before my final, saying that you left your exam looking very disoriented. She asked if I could check on you.”

Horror descended on your face as you realised what he meant.

“You went to look for me,” you surmised painfully, “and didn’t show up to take your final.”

He nodded and you shook your head with a newfound ferocity.

“Jungkook,” you said, remembering how you reacted when he first told you he had failed—how you immediately blamed his recklessness and his friends. How you brought up all of his mistakes and thought this was another one of them.

“You passed out,” he said. “I don’t regret it.”

“I yelled at you so much!” you continued, lost in your own guilt. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

“You helped me study, too,” he defended, feeling almost uncomfortable. He’d never felt your reaction was inappropriate, even under the circumstances. He had failed the exam, after all—like he’d failed several others before.

You shook your head again. “Yeah, but—”

“It’s fine,” he cut you off.

“It’s not fine!” you refuted immediately. “It was my fault you failed.”

“It wasn’t your—”

“I thought it was your friends again,” you said. “I thought they distracted you, and you didn’t study.”

There it was—this vast precipice between what you thought had happened and what had actually happened. Now that years have passed, Jungkook didn’t even know where to start.

The fact was this: you believed that every time he failed you, it was his friends’ fault—and that belief comforted him. It was so appropriate, so fitting.

And sometimes it was true, but even when it wasn’t—when it was just him, not being good enough—your assumption that it was Sid’s fault didn’t paint Jungkook as desperate; merely reckless. Not hopeless, only a little dumb. He preferred it this way.

But now he took a deep breath.

“My friends did distract me from a lot of things,” he said. “But the truth is, sometimes… I tried too hard, and I didn’t want you to know about it. I couldn’t stand the thought of trying to do something for you and then—just completely fucking everything up and letting you down. Sometimes blaming my friends was a convenient excuse.”

You frowned. “What—what are you talking about?”

“Well,” he wiped his palms on his black cargo pants and stretched out his legs, “remember when we were planning to go on holiday together and I fucked up?”

Your frown deepened.

“Hawaii?” you asked. “When you bought the tickets home for the same day we were flying there?”

“Uh…” He hadn’t realised he’d messed up several times. “No. Different holiday. When I missed the train we were supposed to take to the beach? For our summer break?”

“Oh.” You nodded. “I remember. But I saw Sid’s Instagram videos with you, drinking at his garage. I know you were—”

“Those were old videos. And he posted them at a very bad time, which, honestly,” he chuckled sadly, “it’s nothing new for Sid. He seized every opportunity to make me miserable, and I was—I relied on that sometimes. I think he wanted to start an argument between us on the train, that’s why he posted those videos. The truth is, though, I didn’t even see him that day. I missed the train because I wanted to rent out a car and surprise you.”

The quiet confusion on your face prompted him to keep going.

“I didn’t want just any car,” he explained. “I wanted the same Cadillac convertible I’d rented out for our first anniversary.”

You had fond memories of the convertible. Not of the actual drive, which was, honestly, quite painful—there were bugs and unruly strands of your hair everywhere—but of the laughter you’d shared inside.

“It was summer, finally warm enough outside,” Jungkook recalled. “I thought it would be a nice way to relax after studying. I even, uh—I made decorations and everything. Glittery, silver letters that said, ‘just passed our finals’. It’s a play on ‘just married’, you know? It’s a—a joke.”

Eager to understand where this was going, you remained frozen on the bed, and Jungkook felt himself waver slightly. He was glad you weren’t laughing—he dreaded you’d laugh or find any of this as embarrassing as he did—but he slid his hands under his thighs anyway, as if to warm them.

“The thing is, though,” he continued. “I didn’t take my passport with me. Because you don’t need a passport when you’re taking the fucking train, but you can’t rent a car without one, and those fucking assholes at the rental shop—anyway. I went back to my dorm to pick it up, and by the time I got back, the rental shop had closed for lunch. And I missed the train.”

Your heartbeat was steady—fast, absolutely speeding, but steady nonetheless. It hadn’t slowed since he started speaking.

Your expression, however, was almost painfully concentrated. When he looked at you, it seemed as if you were listening to a séance where a spirit was recounting their death.

You cleared your throat and tried to speak. “I thought—”

“You thought I forgot about our trip and went out with Sid,” Jungkook finished for you.

You didn’t have to confirm it, he knew. The hope that this was what you would assume was his safety blanket—this way, he didn’t have to face the fact that he could never do anything right for you, not even when he tried so hard to.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.

You weren’t angry at him for this because he’d made it to the beach later that night, after all. He had taken the last train and barged into your cabin just after midnight. You had nearly knocked him out with a bedside lamp, assuming it was an intruder.

But you didn’t understand the point of allowing you to believe—for years—that it was Sid’s fault. Why didn’t he defend himself?

“Because—did you not hear me describe the letters I’d cut out from glittery paper?” Jungkook asked, his voice high-pitched in irritation at himself. “It’s embarrassing. I should have just met you at the train station like I said I would.”

“Well, why didn’t you?” you questioned. “Why put all this effort?”

“Because I love you,” he replied. You tugged on the IV tube again as you squirmed and unconsciously flexed your arm. “And because I saw your friends get picked up by their boyfriends in their cars. I saw those boyfriends bring them massive bouquets of roses. I saw all the grand fucking gestures that I could never do for you, because I didn’t have enough—I wasn’t—it was mortifying. I thought that you deserved the world, and all I could give you was… some fucking wildflowers before our dates.”

The corners of your lips twitched as you tried to speak, “it’s—I loved your wildflowers, though. And I never cared about anything else.”

“I know,” he said. “But I did.”

You looked down at the white duvet. “You and your gestures.”

Jungkook hummed, but did not add anything else. He was thinking—and regretting his silences. You were thinking, too—and wondering if this was the only time he allowed you to assume that his friends were at fault when they weren’t.

The room around you stilled, adapting to the atmosphere of the conversation. Even your drip quieted.

But then someone knocked on the door of the hotel room, and you and Jungkook almost lit up with relief.

“It’s us!” Luna’s voice called out just as Jungkook stood up to check who it was.

Your friends had returned with paper boxes of Thai food—enough to feed at least five people, from what you could see from your bed—and waved at you from the doorway.

A conversation followed—one that you couldn’t quite hear, except for irrelevant snippets, such as “are you sure?” and “well, okay”—and then Jungkook stepped away from the door, allowing the two girls to address you.

“Apparently, we’ll be heading back to the bus for a quick nap,” Luna said. Jungkook gave her a disapproving look that she promptly ignored. “Is that okay with you? Jungkook will stay.”

Your reflexive response was, of course, to try to dismiss their responsibility. “He doesn’t—neither of you have to stay—”

“Someone is staying,” Jungkook stated, his voice strict, final. “And I would like to be the one to do that.”

You weren’t protesting against him specifically, but as you prepared to reply, you realised it might seem that way. Your hesitant silence was a chance for Jungkook to nod at the two girls again. They nodded back, but then glanced back at you.

“Our phones are on,” Maggie said, lifting her device up for you to see. “So, you can still call or text us at any point, and we’ll rush over here right away.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows. “That certainly does not make it sound like I’m about to torture her.”

You bit back a smile on your bed while Luna said simply, “just a precaution.”

“I get it,” he said. “And I’ll personally call you if I say or do anything that’s over the line.”

Neither Luna, nor Maggie had a response to that, and you looked up to meet three pairs of expectant eyes.

“I—it’s okay,” you said to the girls. “You—yes, get some rest. We’ll be fine here. Thank you.”

“Okay. We’ll be back!” Luna promised, shooting a warning look at Jungkook, while Maggie waved her phone and called out at you, “text us!”

You wanted to give them a small wave, but the thick duvet and the persistent catheter digging into your arm made it difficult to pull your hands out, so all you managed to do was just shuffle around under the covers and nod at them.

The girls left the take-out boxes inside, waved at you again, and walked away.

Jungkook closed the door and slowly returned to his seat, his shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets, and steps unsteady. He looked lost and frightened.

He didn’t want you to misunderstand his intentions. He didn’t want to stay here just to have you to himself, to apologise and to beg for your forgiveness. He wanted to stay because he couldn’t breathe when he didn’t know if you were okay.

As his hesitation hung in the air, memories of your previous hospital stay returned to you again, and you closed your eyes to shake them off.

“You should eat something,” you said.

Jungkook refused.

“When was the last time you ate anything?” you prodded.

Again, he mumbled and hummed under his breath, evading the question and sitting very still—as if he was expecting something. As if something was coming.

And you realised that something was coming. But you had to speak to bring that something here.

“So, then—w-was there anything else?” you finally asked.

Jungkook knew you were referring to the moment he’d just revealed, this deliberate misunderstanding. It was all he could think about. This was the something.

“There was,” he said with a sigh. “But I don’t—”

“Tell me about it.”

He had a lump in his throat that he couldn’t swallow—but not due to his lack of trying—and he suddenly felt like he was standing in front of a jury of his peers.

He didn’t want you to keep thinking that he hadn’t made an effort for you when he had, only it never turned out well. But he was also nervous about you learning how hard—and how impossibly much—he tried. He thought it would only highlight his shortcomings—and there were many of them.

He’d convinced himself that if you didn’t know about them, then he wasn’t letting you down. It was challenging to break out of this conviction now.

“Well—t-that Valentine’s Day,” he stammered. “Our second one—do you remember?”

You remembered right away. Despite your distaste for the commercialisation of the holiday, it still stung that Jungkook had avoided you the whole day. And for several days after that, too—although you’d assumed that to be deliberate. He’d missed Valentine’s Day and didn’t want to see you out of guilt.

“Sure,” you said.

“Well, that wasn’t Sid’s fault, either,” he said. “I know you thought we went on a drinking binge that weekend because Sid happened to conveniently go off the grid right at that time. He had a habit of—”

“But you weren’t with him?” you interjected, impatient.

“No. He was—it was nearly a Weekend at Bernie’s situation. There was some event happening at Jude’s summer house that weekend,” Jungkook said, and you tried to control yourself before you made mocking comments about the idea that people had enough money to own seasonal houses. “And Jude got so high that Sid and some of Jude’s cousins had to pretend he was just not feeling his best whenever his parents asked about him. They mimicked his voice through the door and everything.”

“So, where were you then?”

“I was—well, I—I spent that whole day—ah, no,” he stopped abruptly and brought his palms over his face, lacing his fingers over his mouth as he changed his mind. He couldn’t do this. It was awful. He was such a mess. “You know what? Maybe it’s better if you keep thinking I was at that summer house with them.”

“No,” you opposed in frustration, lunging forward to sit up. You did not listen to him drone on about Sid and Jude just to have him change his mind. “Now you have to tell me.”

Jungkook raised his head when you moved—his concern for you overwhelmed his chagrin.

“Okay, okay, don’t—lie down,” he asked, gesturing at the pillow.

You complied to get him to keep going. He took a breath.

“Just so you know,” he cautioned, “this might finally ruin my bad boy reputation.”

“You never had one.”

He clicked his tongue against his lower teeth. “Okay, ouch.”

You grinned. “Tell me. What really happened?”

He hesitated for another second, bouncing his knee up and down, up and down, and then stilling completely.

“Well, for one thing,” he began finally, “I was going to make dinner. That didn’t go well, because the communal kitchens were—well, you know. But that’s fine, I didn’t worry too much because there’s always take-out.”

You nodded. The communal kitchens in both of your dormitories were typically crowded with people or they smelled so terrible from a failed cooking experiment that it was simply wiser not to set foot in there.

“There was a great pizza place literally two blocks from your dorm,” you pointed out.

“Yeah, exactly.” He nodded in agreement. “But, um, we’d already gone out for a fancy dinner on Valentine’s Day the year before, so I wanted this year to be more… special. I don’t know. Or different, at least. So, I thought I’d cook and make you a slideshow. And—okay, you’ll have to stop smiling if you want me to continue.”

You hadn’t realised you were smiling. You pursed your lips and pulled them to each side to compose yourself.

“Sorry,” you said. “Continue.”

“Right,” he said. “So I made a PowerPoint. Added all of our pictures that I could find in my camera roll, wrote some funny captions. There were going to be at least 200 slides, I’m pretty sure you would have fallen asleep in the middle. I even recorded an acoustic Sleep Token cover to use as background music.”

You told yourself you’d stay quiet, but your disbelief was uncontrollable. “You didn’t!”

“I did,” he said, smiling, but trying not to, for the sake of the story. “It’s gone, though. I erased all traces of that night.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Well, I, uh—I didn’t want just to play you the slides on my laptop,” he said, scratching nervously at his chest over his dark grey hoodie. “I wanted something more.”

You nodded. “Of course.”

He looked away instead of acknowledging your comment.

“Then I remembered something I saw on Instagram that could have been cool. It was one of those aesthetic accounts. They had a picture of this dark, cosy room with a projector screening a film right on this white wall,” he said. “So, I thought, well, shit! I have a white wall behind my wardrobe. And the science lab downstairs has a projector.”

You didn’t like this as you stiffened on the bed, mumbling a dreading, “dear God.”

“Yeah.” He paused to lick his lips. “But it’s probably not what you think. I got the fucking projector.”

He said that with so much grandeur that you couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows—questioning if this was really something to be proud of.

He recapped the story anyway, “I took my roommate’s wrench, and it really didn’t take more than fifteen minutes to open the lab door, unscrew the projector, and bring it back up to my room.”

You shut your eyes and scrunched your nose at the step-by-step description. You wondered if there was a statute of limitations here, and if you would have been considered an accomplice now that you knew about this.

“They have security cameras, though,” you said, glancing at him again. “Don’t they?”

“They do,” Jungkook confirmed. He had a sardonic smile on his face. “Why do you think I was suspended for a month after Valentine’s Day?”

You lost him there. “Wait—they knew you stole the projector?”

“Borrowed,” he corrected. “I returned it two days later. But, yeah, uh—Minjun actually pulled some strings here. His dad went to university with the dean, so he vouched for me. Told him it was all a misunderstanding, and that it would never happen again.”

You looked away, frantically sifting through memories of the month after that particular Valentine’s Day. You remembered not seeing Jungkook for a few days after it, but you saw him fairly regularly later on. He would hang out in your dorm while you had classes, claiming not to have anything better to do.

It took you a full minute to properly recall the explanation he’d given about his suspension.

“Oh,” you said. “Minjun told me that you got suspended because you were caught completely wasted, spray-painting one of the campus buildings.”

Jungkook nodded, his eyes cast low.

“To be fair, I did spray-paint that one,” he admitted. “And I was probably wasted when I did it. But I wasn’t caught.”

You weren’t sure if “spray-painting” was a lesser offence than “stealing a projector from a laboratory” in your eyes, but you didn’t want to question Minjun’s decision now.

“Okay,” you said. “So what happened after you stole the projector?”

“Well, I took the borrowed projector up to my room and set it up,” he replied. “Everything looked great. I was going to give you the best Valentine’s Day dinner this world has ever fucking seen.”

He smacked his palms against his thighs as he spoke, showing off his determination, and you found yourself resisting a smile again. Jungkook had a certain way of telling stories—his changing smiles and small chuckles, his hand gestures and even his tone of voice always made it feel more vivid.

“But, um, I had to move the wardrobe to get a bare wall,” he continued. “And, uh, what I did not foresee was that, earlier that very same day, my roommate’s electric kettle had broken. He went out, purchased a new one. And he put the old one on top of the wardrobe to save space.” Jungkook gave you a moment to think back on this roommate. “You remember the guy, he hoarded everything, all kinds of fucking cables and wires, and—anyway. So, I started to push the wardrobe, and the fucking kettle—it fell and hit me right on the top of my head.”

A surprised gasp left your lips—a stark contrast to the easy, laid-back way he had just spoken.

Jungkook nodded in response to your reaction. “Yeah. My vision sort of darkened and I thought I heard something crack—I, uh, I did think it was my skull, not going to lie.”

He chuckled again—to minimise the impact of his words once more—but you sat up despite his inevitable protests.

“Jungkook!” you scolded. “And you didn’t tell me?!”

“Well, my skull obviously didn’t really crack.”

“I’m not so sure that it didn’t.”

“Anyway,” he stressed. “There wasn’t any blood or anything, so after a few minutes of sitting on the floor, I figured I was good to go. Then I stood up, and, uh—I don’t think you need a visual of what happened then.”

You closed your eyes.

Really, no. You did not need a visual.

About a year ago, at one of the smaller Rated Riot concerts—at a club that seemed harmless at first glance—Jungkook had climbed over to a wooden ceiling beam and swung his arms over it to brachiate across the narrow joist. The beam turned out to be heavily lacquered, and his sweaty palms slid right off, forcing him to crash onto the table below.

He gave himself a concussion, dislocated his shoulder, broke $200 worth of bottles and glasses, and frightened the living hell out of the middle-aged couple who were sitting at the table that he’d landed on.

“Yeah,” you said in your quiet hotel room. “I can imagine.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook breathed out. He recalled this exact same moment—and he knew that, once again, the cause of his injury was his own overexertion. “So, I spent the whole night in my dorm room, on the floor—because I couldn’t crawl to my bed—hoping that I wouldn’t die.”

“And it didn’t occur to you to call me?” you asked—not gently. “Or the fucking ambulance, actually?”

“No,” he replied, unfazed by your disapproving tone. “Not if it meant having to explain what I was doing before all of that happened.”

“You’re crazy,” you said, shaking your head. “You clearly got a concussion, and you didn’t do anything about it.”

“To be fair,” he said, “it’s not that I was embarrassed about it or anything. I was just—horrified that I’d let you down. It was Valentine’s Day. I wanted to give you a slideshow and a romantic fucking dinner. Not—not lie on the floor of my room, half passed out.”

You fought against a pensive sadness. It seemed unfair that this night had not gone the way he’d planned.

“W-well, what did your roommate say when he returned?” you asked instead.

Jungkook poked his cheek with his tongue. “He wasn’t very happy that I broke his old kettle.”

“You broke his—Jesus Christ.” Your hands were on your face as you fell back and buried your head into the pillows. “So, he just left you there on the floor?”

“I assume he thought I was drunk.”

“Fucking—what a—and he was valedictorian, wasn’t he? What a fucking moron,” you groaned. “I knew I should have kicked his ass while I had the chance. I never liked him.”

Jungkook felt a warm rush of comfort to hear how agitated you were getting on his behalf.

“Yeah, he didn’t like me very much, either,” he said. “But that’s um—that’s the story. I missed Valentine’s Day, almost died, and got suspended. I couldn’t possibly tell you what happened.”

“No, how could you?” you deadpanned. “Your reputation was at stake.”

He smiled. “Precisely.”

Even though you joked about this, and he was grateful that you did, both of you knew that this was not entirely about upholding some specific “bad boy” image.

You’d already witnessed this side of him – the side that felt anxious and dreaded the thought of not being good enough. Of not meeting expectations. Of letting others down.

In fact, now that you thought about it, your first proper conversation during this tour had been about this very issue.

“The time I was arrested,” Jungkook said, his shaky voice interrupting your thoughts, “that was—it might have been another one of those times.”

“What?” you asked, perplexed again. “How—I was at the police station with you—the officers—”

“I don’t remember a lot of details,” he interrupted. “So, I’m—I’m not really sure. But, uh, apparently, that night we didn’t just spray-paint a building. Or spit at the officers, allegedly, while we ran from them. The police assumed Minjun and I were the “drunk and disorderly” call that they received an hour before they found us.”

Your memories of that night were hazy, too—mostly because you refused to go over the details in your mind. All you could remember was Jungkook calling you from the precinct and asking—in the most resigned voice you’ve ever heard—if you could come pick him up. The story that you were given when you arrived at the police station only came back to your memory in fragments: property damage. Assault of police officers. Resisting arrest.

“You weren’t?” you asked.

“No,” Jungkook said. “We had some drinks at a bar outside of town, and Sid started harassing some bikers across the street. Someone called the police. Jude said he even punched someone there, I don’t know. Minjun and I were already back in the city at that time. I asked him to come with me to keep watch. I wanted to spray-paint these song lyrics for you—”

Your head jerked as your surprise prevented you from shaking it properly. “Wait—you—what? What lyrics?”

“It’s—well, you know what lyrics,” he replied, timid suddenly. “There was only one song we listened to all the time.”

You remembered.

It’s you and me ‘til the end of time.

You swallowed, breathless, and almost completely weightless as you clutched the duvet tighter in an attempt to ground yourself.

“The building I chose was downtown,” Jungkook continued. “Right across the street from the park where we had our first—well, our first date. I wanted that place to have something—something that we both loved. To commemorate all that we had, I don’t know. I haven’t been a very good boyfriend to you at the time, and I wanted to redeem that.”

The unexpected tightness in your stomach worried you for a second, but the sedative must not have fully worn off yet, because you took a deep breath and felt your body wind down a little. The room continued to blur behind Jungkook, but you suspected that your condition or medication had little to do with that.

“And, uh,” you tried to ask, “the police found you there?”

Jungkook nodded.

“I think Sid guided them to us,” he said. “It never made sense to me why the police would even go there. No one patrolled those streets, what was the point? Not to mention, it was dark, we were dressed in black, and—honestly, it wasn’t our first time with graffiti. But what happened was, I got a text from Sid, saying that someone at the bar had called the cops on him. And not five minutes later, he and Jude both showed up downtown, and we heard sirens.”

“So, what did you do?” you asked—uncertain, suddenly, if you’d actually asked him this before. You had talked to one police officer that night and had accepted everything he told you as the truth.

“Well, Minjun and I ran, of course,” Jungkook said.

“And the other two?”

“I can’t remember the exact sequence of—I was—I was drunk,” he said, giving you an apologetic look. He wanted to share the whole story with you, but he wasn’t sure if he knew it himself. “I remember Sid and Jude shouting at us that they would hold the cops back while we ran—and I didn’t even—we didn’t even think that there was anything weird about that. Minjun and I just ran.”

You felt your memories frantically rearrange themselves after every word that he said. Your head had turned into a disorderly, confused mess.

“The, um—the spitting, then?” you asked.

“That had to be Sid and Jude,” Jungkook speculated. “But I guess I might have done that, too. I, uh—I want you to have the full story, so I won’t deny things that I can’t even remember. I’m thinking about it now, and I don’t know which moments were really Minjun and me, and which were actually Sid and Jude. We were all very drunk, and nobody at the police station believed a word we were saying anyway.”

You nodded, urging him to continue, and he did—grateful and a little scared that you were listening to him so intently.

“Minjun and I got a good head start,” he spoke. “I don’t know what Sid and Jude meant by saying they’d hold the police back, because three officers still chased after us. But they were always at least five metres behind—I could tell from the distant sound of their shoes. I remember feeling so disconnected from my feet as I ran, I could sense I was going to trip. I don’t—honestly, I’m not saying this to defend myself—but I don’t know how I would have managed to look at the cops over my shoulder, spit at them from five metres away, and keep running without breaking my neck or falling over.”

“Hmm—yeah. I don’t know, either,” you said, turning away from him. You understood that it was important for him to clear his conscience, especially if he had been held accountable for something he didn’t even do, but you had other questions. “I’m confused about something else, though. If you and Minjun were being chased while Sid and Jude stayed back, why weren’t they brought into the station?”

All Jungkook did was raise his head and give you a look.

“Right,” you realised. “Of course. Money.”

He looked back down and nodded.

Exhaling, you studied the ceiling tiles for a few seconds before admitting, “I’ve always had a feeling that Sid had set you up.”

“Yeah,” he replied with surprising calmness. “I think so, too.”

You ran your fingers over your hair and pulled a strand from the back of your head to toy with it as you tried to think.

In every conversation that you’ve had about Sid using Jungkook as a scapegoat, Jungkook had either insisted that you were misunderstanding, or he simply fell silent (to avoid arguments, you assumed, and not necessarily to indicate his agreement with you).

This felt very new and particularly unusual. He wasn’t feeding into your dislike for his friends. He was doing something else now, but you were hesitant to draw conclusions about what it might be.

He had claimed he was done with Sid right after their fight, but after enduring his insufferable friends for years, you weren’t ready to believe that you wouldn’t have to see Sid’s nauseating mug again.

“But, anyway,” Jungkook said after a quiet minute. “Minjun and I apologised. Minjun paid bail. We signed something—I don’t even know what that was. And I went home with you. That’s the, um—the whole story as I remember it.”

You simmered in your cluttered mind for a moment longer, attempting to form a thought that you could voice. But all you could manage was a question. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“Would it have made a difference?” he asked. “I was still caught. You had to come and pick me up.”

“At least I—it would have—okay. I don’t know,” you finished lamely. This was a ‘what if’ that you didn’t have the strength to consider.

He hadn’t lied to you, though, you realised—and you weren’t sure how that made you feel. He allowed you to make assumptions that his friends were to blame, and he went along with it. That wasn’t worse than outright lying to you, but it wasn’t much better, either—it still put an unnecessary strain on your relationship.

Logically then, knowing the whole truth about what was happening with him might have made a significant difference. He had good intentions—yet he did not use them to defend himself.

You felt a little sorry that he only told you now, when you couldn’t go back and see what would have happened if you’d known about this all along.

But you realised you did not feel angry. You couldn’t find a specific point in his revelations that you could point at and say, “this is the one. This will be the reason why I can’t stand to look at you anymore.”

You couldn’t say that his choice to be silent made sense, but you knew him. And you understood why he made that choice. The way you saw it, this was partially his friends’ fault anyway.

All on his own, Jungkook wouldn’t have felt this uncertain, this insecure to admit to you that he loved you and that he wanted to show that to you in unorthodox ways—a lot of which didn’t work out.

“So, you just…” you spoke up again. “You were okay with me assuming that you were out with friends every night? That you chose them over us repeatedly?”

Jungkook sighed. If there was anything he’d learned over the past few days, it was that communication was not his strong suit. But now he’d reached a point of no return. He had to talk.

“Honestly, I thought it was a better alternative,” he said. “I thought I was a miserable try-hard. And I realised after our conversation in Amsterdam that, well... this is part of the reason why I didn't—why I assumed that you broke up with me because you didn’t love me anymore. And not because I kept fucking up.”

Your breaths were shallow as you listened to him.

“I think that it turned against me, this unnecessary secrecy,” Jungkook continued. “I wanted to be the best for you, and when I couldn’t be, Sid became a great excuse. But in my head—for me, he didn’t seem to have that big of a presence in our relationship. But of course, after I blamed my own mistakes on Sid, too, they built up. And, in the end, I think what happened was that…”

He faltered and you finished his sentence for him, “I started to see that all the reasons why something went wrong in our relationship were Sid. Sid. Sid. Sid.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I made you think that if I was given a choice, I’d choose my friends over you. Which I wouldn’t! But, um—I had a very poor way of showing that. Have, actually. Still do. I’m sorry.”

“Hmm.” You turned away. “Do you—you know what else I think this is?”

He looked at you. “What?”

“Sid’s influence,” you said. “You were so scared that he would think you’re hopeless or pathetic that you couldn’t even talk about the things that you did—the things that you wanted to do for me. You thought you were a ‘try-hard’ because your friends convinced you that you were.”

Jungkook felt stunned and a little nauseous.

He didn’t know if this was something he’d implied in his endless attempts to apologise for the bet, but you articulated everything he had struggled to convey.

He was trying to prove to Sid that he wasn’t pathetic—and he was doing it long before Sid suggested the bet. He was doing it every time he went out with his friends. He was doing it every time he allowed you to blame these friends after he missed your dates—just so he wouldn’t have to admit how much he tried to make these dates special, and how miserably he’d failed at that.

Eventually, he began to accept that he was truly pitiful for being so stubbornly in love with you. He hated their pity. He wanted to change it. Make it not so.

But the aftermath of the bet made him realise that all he really did, was prove that he was pathetic—he wanted to get you back in any desperate way possible.

He was okay with that now.

He was okay with being so in love with you that he couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t focus on anything else. Couldn’t stay where he was, repeating the same mistakes, going round and round, because he needed to grow. Needed to become someone who deserved you.

He was okay with it because being pitiful meant being in love with you, and he would never try to fight against that.

And you knew all these things about him. You knew everything.

He didn’t really understand how the world worked and he didn’t know if destiny played favourites. But he remembered writing a line in one of Rated Riot’s earlier songs—you weren't made for me, that much is true / but I was made for you—and he was once again confronted with the weight of this realisation.

He loved you. He’s always been yours so completely and wholeheartedly that you read him without looking at him.

He liked to think he knew you well—but that was extremely presumptuous of him. You were a universe within a universe. Really, it was you who knew him in ways he didn’t know himself.

“I—you’re right,” he said, running his tongue over his chapped lips. “I shouldn’t have given a fuck about what they thought, but I did. And I don’t—I, um—I don’t want this to seem like I am an angel for telling you about all that. No, I fucked up. Many times. We went binge-drinking, drag-racing, we skipped classes, failed tests, spray-painted buildings—”

“Stole projectors,” you interjected.

“—stole projectors,” he repeated reluctantly. “It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, while I only pretended to fuck up. No. I took you for granted many times, I know I did. And I’m—I’ll always be sorry about that. But I’m—I’ve kicked him out. Sid. I’m done. Truly done this time. And I don’t even care if Jude stays.”

The way his voice broke off at the last sentence sounded like he cared a little, but you recognised the determination in his eyes when you looked at him. He’d made a decision.

“And Minjun?” you asked.

Jungkook inhaled. “Minjun… said he’d stay.”

“Good,” you said.

“Good—yeah?” he asked, evidently surprised. “You think so?”

Minjun had constantly looked like a kicked puppy when you were in the room. Now that you understood why, you thought you liked him a little more for it.

“Yeah,” you said. “I think he’s the only one of your friends worth keeping.”

“I’m starting to see that, too,” he admitted. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

You looked down. With half of the vitamin drip gone now, you felt your body start to return to you—and, automatically, the surreal haze inside this hotel room began to clear. You were no longer floating somewhere on the ceiling and only pretending that you were perfectly fine.

You were coming back to yourself. And the return was rugged and painful.

“You, um—you keep apologising to me like—like you’re obligated to respond to me,” you said. Jungkook didn’t know if you realised it, but your voice changed when you spoke to him as his manager and not as someone he’d known and loved for over seven years. “I’m your manager, but these things—you can—I shouldn’t tell you how to live your life. That’s not my—”

“I want it to be, though,” he cut you off with a sudden boldness that he hadn’t realised he still had in him. “I-I mean, I don’t want you to worry about me like that ever again, but I—I want you to think about me. Sometimes, you’re the only person who truly does.”

You shook your head—not to rid yourself of the responsibility, but to remind him, yet again, that he had people who wanted what was best for him.

And, honestly, he knew he did. He just wanted you.

“You have your grandma,” you said.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, nodding distractedly. “But, um, you know.”

“And you’re loved by thousands,” you continued. “They all want you to stay safe.”

He smiled—appreciative but oddly apologetic.

“I’m grateful for that,” he said. “It’s just that—I want you to be the one who wants that for me. I’ve only ever loved you, I’ve never—never been in a relationship with anyone who wasn’t you. And I don’t want to be, so the next thing that you say better not be about me finding someone else, because—”

“You have been in other relationships, though,” you said despite his warning. You didn't know if this was really true, but you ploughed ahead anyway—just to say something. “I don’t know how long or short, but Sid always bragged about your double dates whenever he called me to pick you up, so—”

“The double dates,” Jungkook said, “meant that Sid was on a date with two girls at the same time. And I was there for decoration.”

You scoffed. “I hardly imagine that to be possible, considering Sid looks like a sewer rat on a good day.”

Jungkook wanted to argue, but he was too amused by this image.

“And, um—what do I look like?” he asked.

You blinked, taken aback by the question, then quickly turned away to gaze out the window instead. “You look… you know what you look like.”

“No,” he said, fully grinning now. “Now that you mention it, I realise I actually have no idea what I look like.”

“There’s a mirror on the wall right behind you.”

“It’s like I’m blind, I don’t know what’s—”

“You’re ridiculous,” you groaned, your face warm. “You look nice. Move on.”

“Oh! That’s high praise coming from you.” He made an effort to bow. “Thank you.”

“Fuck off,” you retorted because you couldn’t smack him on the shoulder. Instead, you motioned with your hand, urging him to keep going. “Sid couldn’t get a date with a personality worse than his looks. Not if you were there.”

“I’m sure the expensive restaurant worked in his favour,” Jungkook remarked.

You threw your head back, realising the significance of money yet again. “Ah.”

“In any case, I don’t care,” he said. He cleared his throat and leaned back in his seat. “I never wanted to be with anyone who wasn’t you anyway. Which—as you’ll be happy to point out—sounds silly because when Sid was in a good mood, he was very dedicated to making sure neither of us left the club alone.”

You shrugged one of your shoulders, trying to come off as casual. “Well, since you brought it up.”

“Yeah, well.” He sighed, not running away from this, because, frankly, there was nowhere to run. “And you’re, uh—you’re my manager. You know what I’ve been doing after hours anyway.”

“Hmm.”

You didn’t have a better response, because there was something that Luna had said to you the other day that would not leave your mind alone.

He had the option to keep the bet a secret from you.

This evening had been filled with these options.

It would have been easy not to mention his miserable attempts at grand gestures or the people who were there after you. But he was bringing up everything—every little detail from your relationship and after it—and you sat expressionless on the bed, not knowing what to make of any of it.

“I meant what I said, though,” Jungkook said, leaning forward again. He felt restless; as if he could jump out of his skin if he tried hard enough. “You’re the only meaningful relationship I’ve had. It wasn’t fair for me to pretend to be interested in a second date with someone else, when I constantly caught myself thinking about if I’d ever see you again. Or when I’d see you again, after we started to work together.”

Your eyes were focused on the sheets of the bed, but he still didn’t dare to look at you.

“I didn’t want to believe that I could still be in love with you after all this time,” he said. “But—well, the evidence is against me.”

“W-why’d you go with Sid then?” you asked—quickly. Before he said something else that you didn’t know how to respond to. “Clubbing and on these dates?”

He clenched his jaw. “Well, you said it. I was trying to prove to him that I wasn’t pathetic. That I wasn’t in love with you anymore.”

“But why did you care so much about what he thought?” you pushed, and there was a hint of hurt in your voice. Jungkook felt his heart leap over several beats as it pounded against his ribs. “Why did his opinion matter to you more than mine?”

He exhaled so deeply that it was almost a miracle his lungs hadn’t collapsed. His insides were burning with regret. With an urge to turn back time. An urge to make things right.

“Because I was—I was a fucking idiot. For years before I met you, I thought Sid had everything I wanted,” he said—which was equally as simple as it was unfair, and, in retrospect, stupid. “The freedom, the audacity to do whatever the fuck he pleased. No consequences, ever.”

You remembered him saying the same thing to you on the bridge in Stockholm and felt yourself shiver as though the wind from that night had followed you all the way here.

“And the way he treated me when I was single was different, too,” Jungkook continued. “I was single, I was in a band, and it finally felt like he approved of me, like we were actually friends. Like we were equals. And I cared about that so fucking much. It felt like I finally had everything that he had, and I was just—blind.”

“But you didn’t,” you said. “You didn’t have what he has. I don’t think you ever will.”

Jungkook was surprised to realise that hearing this did not sting.

He agreed.

“Yeah,” he said. “I actually—I had so much more than Sid would ever have, because I had you. And that’s—that’s probably why he dragged me around with him. He was determined to make me truly lose you like he always made me lose everything. And I let him—I helped him make that come true. I can’t—I’m not much better than him. I want to believe I am, but I’m—I made the bet.”

You remembered thinking that Jungkook and Sid could never be equals, because Sid always needed Jungkook to have less. And now that you heard Jungkook come to a similar conclusion on his own, you thought you felt the room shift a little.

“Yeah,” you said, distracted. “T-that—the bet was fucked up.”

“I know. I’m—I’m sorry,” he said. “I just—I want you to know that I meant everything I had said. All of it. And I understand why you don’t want to believe me. I, uh—I know your family history. But I’ve got mine, too. My grandpa is almost eighty. He’s only ever loved one person his whole life. So did my dad. So will I. It’s just—regardless of what’s going to happen, you’re—I’ll always love you.”

You cleared your throat once, then once more—louder.

Jungkook was about ready to get up, alarmed suddenly, but you quieted and looked around. He caught a glimpse of your eyes as you scanned the room and he realised—in a paradoxical sense of relief—that you were frightened.

Not angry. Not refusing to believe him. Not disappointed or frustrated.

Just scared.

“It’s uh—it’s really late,” you said, looking back at the window. “Isn’t it? The sky’s completely dark.”

He swallowed. You didn’t want to talk about this. And you shouldn’t. You needed rest.

“Yeah, uh… do you want me to close the curtains?” he asked, swallowing all that was still left unsaid.

It was impossible anyway, he supposed, to pour seven years of misguided decisions into one conversation. He was just relieved you hadn’t asked him to leave.

“No,” you said. “Keep them open. I want to see the sky.”

He’d hoped you would say that, and he felt an almost forgotten lightness in his chest when you did. Lots of things had changed over the past few days, but a lot of things hadn’t—including your love for the night.

“A lot of stars tonight,” he said meaningfully. He was glad he had accidentally picked a hotel room with a view of boring back alleys: there were no lights to cover up the stars now.

“Yeah,” you agreed, much calmer. “They’re beautiful.”

There was a quote in a book his grandmother had once read to him: “are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?”

He remembered feeling oddly wistful when he heard it. He imagined the night sky behind his closed eyes and he felt as though he was lacking something crucial—something that would come, but not yet.

He remembered watching the way you watched the stars back in Tilburg—hours before it all fell apart.

The night sky had always reminded him of you—really, even before he met you.

“I could open the window wider,” he suggested.

You closed your eyes.

“Could you?” you asked quietly.

“Yeah.” He stood up and approached the window, pulling the frame until he saw the ends of the curtains lift off the floor. “A distinct smell, isn’t it? The night.”

“It is,” you agreed.

It probably shouldn’t have been possible at this point, but as he turned around and traced your features with his gaze, he thought he fell in love with you a little more at this moment.

“We, um, we have this song,” he found himself saying as he returned to the armchair next to your bed. This song had been buzzing in his head nearly the whole night tonight. You could feel his nervousness as he mumbled, “ah, you probably know it already, it’s so obvious. And I told you in Oslo—okay, anyway. We have this song. It’s a B-side on our second single.”

“Cursed,” you said, recalling the title easily enough because this was your mum’s favourite song.

You always thought that the single—“Haunting,” which was their second title track and the very first Rated Riot song that you’d heard—overshadowed “Cursed.” Perhaps unfairly.

“Yeah.” Jungkook nodded. “Who, um—who do you think inspired it?”

Swallowing, you willed your thoughts to clear, so you wouldn’t have to think about the lyrics, but could not do it.

You remembered the entire chorus with perfect clarity, as though you were listening to Rated Riot perform the song in concert right now—Taehyung heavy on the bass and Jungkook yelling out the lyrics with his whole body leaning over the edge of the stage towards the audience.

You’re for the stars and for the moon to see /

You weren’t made for me /

You’re for the night and for the day to breathe /

You’re everything they want to be /

You're the enchantment that makes planets turn /

You’re more than the entire world /

You weren’t made for me, that much is true /

But I was made for you.

“I have no idea,” you said finally. You hoped, against all odds, this was a song that Yoongi wrote when he was drunk—those tended to be very emotional. “Was this the, um, absinthe one?”

Jungkook snickered humourlessly and shook his head.

“Don’t do this to me,” he asked, looking down for a moment—just until he could count the four loose threads in the carpet. Then he returned his gaze to you.

“It was you,” he said. “Your love for the night sky. I know it’s your favourite thing in the world.”

He said that and suddenly your chest was filled with them—with these stars that you loved to watch and he loved to sing about.

“W-well, that’s—you’re, um,” you struggled, “you’re not wrong about that, I guess.”

“It’s a song about my favourite thing in the world, too,” he added.

“W-what’s that?”

He had a sad smile on his face. “You.”

Your stomach tightened again and you squeezed your eyes shut—a feeble attempt to get away from this situation and from all the thoughts that your head could no longer contain.

“Not tonight,” you whispered. “I can’t—I don’t want to talk about us or about—about anything else tonight.”

“Okay,” he agreed immediately. “We won’t talk about it.”

“Okay,” you echoed, even though his laid-back response did not relax you.

You sensed longing in his words, and anguish. He would have done anything you asked him to—and this power scared you. You didn’t want it. You just wanted—

Exhaling loudly to drown out your thoughts, you turned to a side and glanced at the bandages on his face.

“Tomorrow, we will have to—we’ll have to figure out what to do with your eye,” you said.

Jungkook had not fully returned to this planet yet. “My eye?”

“Yes,” you said, giving him a longer look—as if to check if you hadn’t dreamt him—and then closing your eyes again. “Your black eye.”

He reached up to touch the bandages, perpetually confused about his injuries. “Oh—what do you mean, what to do with it?”

“Well, it’d probably be weird to cut it out, so we’ll have to cover it up.”

“Hmm.” He smiled at the ease in your voice. If everything else was lost, he hoped that he would at least get to keep your banter. “Okay.”

“I’ll think of something,” you promised as the gentle night wind brushed a strand of hair away from your face and fluttered your tired eyelashes.

“Thank you,” Jungkook said in a hush—his courage had finally abandoned him. “I’m sorry that this is another thing that you have to—”

“No,” you cut him off. “It’s not that bad.”

You tried to turn your head towards him, but lying here with your eyes closed felt very pleasant. You thought you’d felt revitalised before, you thought your body had started to feel more like it belonged to you again, but that had been momentary. You couldn’t keep your eyes open long enough to properly look at him.

“Do you mind if I… keep my eyes closed for a minute?” you asked.

“Do you mind if I stay here?” he responded.

“You—”

“Actually, I don’t care,” he decided. “I’m staying.”

You forced yourself to look at him. “You don’t have to do that. I’m fine.”

“You always say you’re fine,” he reminded you. “Look at where we are now.”

“It was a one-time thing. Look at this.” Lethargically, you raised your arm with the catheter. “I’m being pumped full of vitamins. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he said. “I want to believe that. Really, I do, but you have to stop. You can’t keep going like this. I-I mean—”

You shook your head against the pillow. “Jungkook, this is really nothing.”

“I have a hard time believing that when you’re connected to a—”

“It’s—”

“Look, just—” he took a breath and extended his hands, “—p-please—please don’t let this happen again. Please look after yourself. I can’t lose you.”

He knew he might have to keep working with you without ever calling you his again. He’d have to learn how to deal with that.

But he could never deal with being here without you.

“Okay,” you said, your eyelids heavy. “Okay, I’ll be careful.”

“I’m going to need a promise here,” he said, reaching out his hand.

You chuckled weakly and extended your hand to gently graze his palm with the tips of your fingers. “I promise.”

He leaned in closer to fully grasp your hand in his, and saw the gentle—likely unconscious—smile on your lips as you squeezed his fingers. His chest filled with a warmth so big and powerful that, reasonably, there had to be no space left for his heart there anymore.

And yet something kept beating. He felt his own pulse reverberate against your fingers as he clutched your hand in his.

You’d be alright.

You hadn’t foreseen how calming the gentle dripping of the IV would be. You’d only meant to rest your eyes for a quick moment. You didn’t realise you had dozed off.

Only when your mind sobered up sometime in the early morning hours—you based the time solely on the colour of the sky outside—did you force your eyes open and concluded, with a painful jolt of your exhausted muscles, that you’d fallen asleep.

You looked around and for a moment, the dark, strange room filled your exhausted mind with terror. Then you noticed Jungkook sleeping in the chair next to you, and you felt yourself calm down.

Thank God he was here.

Blinking suddenly, you parted your lips as if preparing to argue with your own thoughts.

He wasn’t supposed to be here. He had a performance tomorrow. And a bandaged black eye that you still hadn’t figured out how to hide.

“I can tell you’re overthinking from all the way over here,” Jungkook said, his voice drowsy, eyes half-open. He must have heard the rustling of your covers and woken up. “Go to sleep.”

“What time is it?” you asked.

He was too tired to note the urgency in your voice as he mumbled, “sleeping time.”

“Jungkook, I’m serious,” you said. Finally, he caught your alarmed tone and his eyes shot open. “What time is it?”

He straightened in his seat and regarded you for a minute while he searched for his phone somewhere on the armchair. You didn’t appear to be in pain, but the emergency in your eyes threw him off.

“It’s three-twenty,” he said after a brief moment of blindness from the bright screen of his phone.

“Shit.” You looked around in the darkness, not sure when you had last seen your phone. You couldn’t remember Jungkook mentioning that he’d picked it up when he found you, and you hadn’t asked for it back. “I have to—”

“No,” he said, getting to his feet.

“No,” you argued back. “I need—”

He leaned over your bed and took hold of your hands right as you tried to throw off your duvet and sit up. You tried to evade him, but Jungkook proved he’d known you long enough to guess every move you were going to make—in complete darkness.

“No,” he said again, struggling with your relentless dedication to flail your limbs around until you stood up. “Lie down, please. I don’t know what you think you must do at three in the morning, but I promise you, it can wait. It’ll be done. I’ll do everything to make sure everything is okay.”

You stopped resisting his hold and allowed him to gently guide you back onto the mattress. He only let go of you when your head hit the pillows.

“You can’t be here. You need rest,” you insisted as he pulled the duvet over you, tucking it under your sides until you were firmly cocooned inside. You couldn’t tell if he did that for your comfort or to make sure you couldn’t escape this bed.

“So do you,” he countered.

“I'm fine—”

“No—for once, just... please stop saying that,” he asked, his eyes bright, but his voice completely spent. “You’re not fine. You’re getting a vitamin drip because you fainted. You need to sleep.”

You kept your eyes on his for another minute, trying to adjust to the thick darkness, so you could make out his silhouette as he towered over your bed. He was watching you and waiting.

“Okay,” you gave in. “I'll sleep.”

“I’ll be here,” he said, finally sitting back down.

You knew that wasn’t right. He needed to get proper rest. He shouldn’t have kept watch over you.

“Okay,” was all you said despite everything. “Thank you.”

He mumbled something unintelligible in response and you didn’t dare to ask him to repeat it. The room gave space to the night as your conversation wound down.

You could hear a faint screech of a lost bird outside the hotel window. Bugs were singing somewhere in the distance, too. And, as you drifted off, you thought you heard Jungkook whisper a weary “I love you.”

chapter title credits: bad omens, “the grey”

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citrustan · 25 days ago

Text

dating girl (jjk) #2.1

pairing: jungkook x reader (hoseok x reader too kinda)

summary: you try to convince yourself that you're really okay with 'casually dating' your crush.

genre & note: college au, fwb kinda thing but more than that ygm? angst! again hehe and uhh this is a follow-up, here's the original drabble.

Jung Hoseok's a nice guy. He's beautiful and intelligent. A dancer. The kindest man you've ever met.

He's the kind of guy who holds the elevator door for you even when he's running late. The kind who offers you his charger even when his phone's lower on battery because you're a woman who needs a functioning device more than he does, just in case. He's the one everyone secretly craves.

The Halloween costume party was today.

You agreed to go with Hoseok the day after you saw Jungkook with the leggy blonde. When he never bothered to respond to your previous messages, you figured it was for the better.

Hoseok briefly met your mother when she hand delivered your costume. He loved your matching outfit idea but arranged for his own.

The entire time she was there, your mother kept making eyes at the two of you. She saw the way he cared for you; how he sliced your apples and made you cinnamon toast.

Every time he left the room, your mother squealed and slapped your arm in excitement.

You think that was her way of trying to get you excited about Hobi.

Hoseok is the one you want to want. But your mind always wanders back to that other man. The same man who ghosted you for a week.

Hoseok may buy you apples and slice them for you, but Jungkook peels them. Hoseok makes toast but Jungkook bakes fresh bread.

It's not a fair comparison, not at all. But you're smitten with the man.

Jungkook just... does these things. When you're together, it's fireworks and blooming flowers. The chemistry you and Jungkook have is unmatched. And he knows it.

Perhaps that's what scares him so much?

At the last minute, you decide to add some rhinestones on the bridge of your nose to make yourself look more ethereal and sprinkle some glitter on your bare arms and legs. (_____ from the following morning says she hates you btw.)

If it weren't for your glitter-dusted tooth-stick and your diamond and tooth-encrusted tiara, you'd look like an angel. You're pretty pleased with your execution though.

Hoseok told you he'd meet you at the party directly because he ran into some stuff that needed to be handled last minute. Which was alright because the venue was a ten-minute walk from your place.

Your wings were perked, your mini skirt poofed, and your lips glossy.

The skin-tight lace top was a good idea because it let your skin breathe, you definitely would not run hot in this outfit.

You stuck a few bills in your garter. There was space for your phone too for when you're at the party.

As much as you'd have liked to have the sexiest, highest heels on, you weren't built for it. Kitten heels were more your style anyway.

On your way to the hall, you had come across plenty of other partygoers: Light & Misa, Cinderella, a hospital patient with an open gown, a termite? All very creative. You almost felt basic.

You scan the area for Hoseok.

Finally spotting him not too far from the velvet ropes, you scurry over to him. He waves with both hands like he’s genuinely relieved to see you.

“Wow,” he says as you approach, taking in your cute outfit and wings. “The tooth fairy herself. I feel honoured.”

You laugh, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “And you’re the dentist who makes it rain teeth. Nice stethoscope, it looks... real.” You didn't think dentists used them.

Hoseok smiles, holding it up like a prize, "Yeah, it's my roommates'. He let me borrow it for a night. Says I owe him candy now."

"Hm. Shouldn't you be warning him against that?"

"Huh... I guess I do." He chuckled.

You wave your tooth wand at him and wink.

You lift your skirt a little to access your little garter purse and tuck your phone in it. Hoseok looks away to give you your privacy.

"All done." You shyly smile. You take a second to fix your skirt.

The two of you linger outside for a moment longer, watching as groups of people filter into the hall.

Hoseok turns to you, “You ready?”

You nod, and he offers you his arm to hold onto.

Hoseok prepaid for your tickets so you could skip the queue.

Linking your arm with his, you walk inside together.

The venue is already overwhelmingly loud and the decorations are over the top.

As usual, the student body had outdone themselves. They probably bought out all the tinsel in the neighbouring cities.

"Woah." You hear Hoseok exclaim softly. You hum in agreement.

Almost instantly, you find yourself scanning the crowd before you even realise what you’re doing.

And then your eyes fall on him.

He’s standing by one of the drink tables, dressed in black leather pants with buckles on them and a leather jacket that went with it.

What's he even supposed to be?

And then you see it. The same leggy blonde from the cafe.

She clips something on his hair--- devil horns. Of course. That definitely suits him. His hair is styled messily, the way you’ve always thought suited him best, and a faint dusting of glitter catches the light every time he moves.

You realize, too late, that you’ve been staring.

“You okay?” Hoseok's voice cuts through the fog in your mind. He’s still smiling, but there’s a flicker of concern in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you say quickly, tearing your gaze away from Jungkook. “Just... taking it all in.”

Hoseok's not completely oblivious. He knows about you and Jungkook. You've been very transparent with him.

He doesn’t press, instead guiding you toward the drinks table.

You smile softly at him. You can't help but feel a pang of guilt because Hoseok deserved your full attention tonight.

He deserves someone who isn’t busy looking for someone else.

But before you can dwell on it, Jungkook notices you. His dark eyes lock onto yours, and for a moment, everything else fades almost cinematically; the music, the lights, the people, even Hoseok's and the blonde's presence.

His gaze flickers briefly to Hoseok, and something unreadable passes over his face. Then he smirks, before turning back to the girl beside him.

Your stomach twists. What the hell?

You felt lightheaded and frail.

A simple GLANCE does this to you?

You were paper, you'd have folded in a second. You felt weak and pathetic all over again.

You're so beautiful tonight, you don't deserve to go through this tiring cycle again.

Hoseok hands you a fruity looking drink, “Here." His warm smile comforts you, "Non-alcoholic, just in case the tooth fairy needs to fly home later.”

You force out a little snicker, "Thank you, Hobi."

You clink your glass against his, doing your best to ignore Jungkook on the other side of the table.

You’ve made your choice tonight. And it’s not Jungkook.

At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.

Jungkook was beating himself up internally.

Was it really worth it to procrastinate on responding to your text? You look so lovely tonight and it sucks that it's all for someone else.

He could see you made an effort to dress for the theme, unlike himself who slapped on the only somewhat dressy clothing he had. It was either this or a groom. And he'd rather not give Yeona any ideas.

By the stealthy glances he threw your way, Jungkook figured that Hoseok wanted to take you to the dance floor.

"I see Hobi. Let's say hi?" He asks his date. Yeona doesn't have a chance to agree because he's already grabbing her hand and tugging her with him.

Before Hoseok could whisk you away, Jungkook swiftly approached you two.

The first thing you notice is the blonde holding onto him.

"Hoseok hyung, I didn't think I'd see you here!"

"Ahh, JK, how's it going?" He gave him a side hug.

"Great." Jungkook smiles back. Then looks at you, "Hey."

It’s casual, like he’s just bumped into you in class, not walked up to you at a party with another woman on his arm. You nod in response.

Yeona’s gaze flickers to your costume, her face polite but confused. “Oh... are you supposed to be an angel?”

You blink, caught off guard.

Before you can answer, Hoseok steps in, voice light and cheerful, “Not quite. She’s the tooth fairy. I’m her dentist.” He gestures to his stethoscope like it’s his badge of honour.

“Oh,” Yeona says, a little sheepishly. “That’s cute.”

Well, yeah! It was cute. Unlike whatever they were.

And what even were they?

Jungkook bad stupid devil horns and Yeona adorned a floor-length, red gown. She looked regal.

You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes slightly, “And you two are...?”

Jungkook answers this time, “Hades and Persephone.” His tone was pointed.

You stare at them for a moment, taking in the obviousness of it all. Of course. He's Hades incarnate alright.

Then you let out a dry, unimpressed, “Huh. Groundbreaking.”

Jungkook’s eyes snap to yours with something sharp flickering across them, like you’ve just crossed a line or something. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Hoseok looks a little taken aback as well.

Ok, you did not mean to sound so bitchy. You couldn't help it.

You shrug, feigning innocence, “Nothing!" But then demon _____ arises, "Just... not very original, is it?”

Yeona glances between the two of you, clearly picking up on the tension but unsure of what to do with it. “It’s a classic,” she says quietly, her voice kind but hesitant.

You smile slightly. “Sure,” you reply, your tone bordering on dismissive. “If you like classics.”

Jungkook’s jaw tightens just slightly, “Wow. Is the attitude part of the costume or is that just for me?"

Hoseok clears his throat beside you, sensing the shift in energy, but you ignore him.

Your eyes stay on Jungkook, challenging. “Didn’t realize you knew what an attitude looked like."

Subtle, _____.

You refuse to backtrack, "I wasn't trying to be rude. I guess I was just never a fan of the whole... king of darkness look.”

He smirks, though there’s no humour in it. “Could’ve fooled me. You’ve been staring since you walked in."

Oh, my God. JERK.

You wish you could punch him in the face.

Your cheeks heat, but you refuse to look away. Your tone falters a little though, “D-don't flatter yourself.”

Jungkook knew he had you then.

Yeona shifts uncomfortably, her hand tugging lightly on Jungkook’s arm. “Jungkook, we should-” - “Yeah,” he cuts her off, still looking at you, “We should.”

There’s a pause. He lingers, staring you down, like he’s waiting for you to say something--- anything. You don’t.

You just hold your ground, fingers tightening around your cup.

“See you around,” Jungkook mutters finally, allowing Yeona to pull him away. She gives you a little scowl before whisking him away. You deserve that.

You're too embarrassed to even look at your date now. He has probably changed his mind about you now that he's seen you and Jungkook in full action.

You just watch them go, feeling Hoseok’s eyes on you as the crowd swallows them up.

After a beat, he speaks cautiously, “So... you really don’t like Hades and Persephone, huh?”

You let out a shaky breath, yet again forcing another small smile, “Guess I’m more of a tooth fairy kind of girl.”

That didn't even make sense but it was ok. Hoseok didn't push any further. Because HE is an angel.

Hoseok laughs softly, draping his arm around your shoulder, “Come on, fairy. Let’s get you another drink before you start a fight with anyone else.” You nod.

You down the drink he hands you in seconds and shake your head. Ok. Everything's fine.

Hoseok spots another friend of his and allows you a minute by yourself to re-centre.

The music shifts to something slower when Hoseok makes his way back to you. He steps closer, offering a hand, “Dance with me? Forget about it for a while.”

You look at his outstretched hand and take it without any consideration. If Jungkook is able to do this, you must be too.

Hoseok leads you, past many swaying couples, to the middle of the dance floor.

After a minute of awkwardness, you fall into a rhythm, holding onto his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He was warm and you felt wanted. You lay your cheek on his chest and sway with him.

Yet again, your thoughts wander to Jungkook. You keep remembering the way he looked at you. He was so focused on you. That couldn't have been your imagination. He was such a dick though.

How could he just talk to you as if he hasn't ignored you for a week? Your brows furrow unknowingly.

Like clockwork, your eyes find Jungkook and his date. It's like a knife in your chest.

You're fucking jealous. He's holding her close and they're gazing into each other's eyes. This isn't a fucking wedding. What are they doing?

You can't stand them. They're actually just obnoxious at this point.

He's whispering things to her. You don't ever want to know what.

She has her arms placed around his neck; an action you unintentionally follow with Hoseok.

Speaking of Hoseok--- “Hey,” Hoseok says, leaning down a little so you can hear him over the music. “You’re not still thinking about him, are you?”

You blink, startled, and pull back just enough to meet his eyes. “What?”

He grins, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “I can tell. You’ve been quieter than usual. He’s not worth it, you know.”

Your lips twitch, “Who? Jungkook?”

His smile widens, “Yeah. I mean, you could do better honestly.”

Hoseok's the best date ever. If you were in his shoes, you'd have left.

"I'm not..." You trail off. "Sorry. This must be the worst date ever for you."

When he didn't refute, you felt worse. "Hobi, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, I knew what I was getting into." He rubs your back. "Listen. If this is too much for you, maybe we should..." He trails off. Hoseok didn't really have a solution in mind. He looked to you for one.

You begin thinking out loud when you're interrupted by Hoseok who puts a finger up asking you to hold your thought.

You feel Hoseok’s hand slip from your waist as he pulls out his phone from his pocket.

He glances at the screen, his eyes squinting slightly before a soft sigh escapes him.

“Sorry,” he lowers the phone, “I’ve got to take care of something. My roommate just broke the new stethoscope he bought, and he wants the old one back before it gets ruined too."

"Ah. Okay. Yeah, that's fine, let's just go." You nod along.

"No, you stay. I'll just be a few minutes, alright?" He stops from walking away with him, "20 minutes tops."

"Oh, ok. Alright, I'll wait." You agree.

Hoseok gives you a little side hug before scurrying off. As he leaves he hurriedly speaks, "Thank you, _____. I won't take too long! Call me if anything happens, okay?"

You nod once again, "Okay! Don't worry about me."

While you know that Hoseok didn't actually leave you, you still feel lonely.

What you don't realise is how Jungkook has been keeping track of your every move.

note: it was way too long for me, so i'll divide it into two parts. please, please, please lmk what ou think of this!

192 notes · View notes

jaykaysthicthighs · 5 months ago

Text

Late Night Talks | JJK

excerpt | it's past one in the morning and you and your boyfriend talk the night away... maybe more than just talking

genre | major fluff, humor

pairing | jeon jungkook x fem!reader

rating | pg-16

warnings | strong language, some of dirty thoughts/actions, reader and jk being the cutest on earth (heart might actually burst), jk being needy, kissing, jk being unfiltered, jk being a menace, jk being a dirty dude, just jk being unhinged, reader loving the attention, reader going along with jk's playful ways, reader and jk have disgustingly cute thoughts about each other

wc | 4k+

notes | i’m finally back after so fucking long, but this is my first time writing something so heartwarming.... I AM VERY EXCITED!!! this is also very short but i hope it’s still a fun read despite that. there might be some spelling mistakes, so i’m sorry if there is… :/

The comfort of the weighted blanket and the shine of the moonlight had lulled you to sleep... that was until you felt cold rough hands roam your bare back. Your eyes popped out and you quickly squirmed away from the harsh sensation. You turned around to find the perpetrator and you came face to face with the one you call "yours".

"Jungkook!" you squealed. The biggest smile painted your beautiful face and, in that moment, you didn't care that the handsome man in front of you had ruined your amazing sleep.

Jungkook watched you with love swimming in his eyes. He watched as your alluring face shone with great surprise. A goddess you were. He also took in a quick notice on how you displayed nothing but pretty blue panties on; he almost felt himself drooling at the enchanting sight.

You lunged at your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his big build. Thankfully Jungkook knew how you get when you're excited, so the moment you took the first steps to him, he immediately knew that a big hug was taking its course. He gently held you as you both fell backwards; a loud thump echoed throughout the room. You looked down to see that your boyfriend had cushioned the fall.

His face contorted with pain, he rasped out, "You okay, baby?" You softly cupped his face and gave the pained man a chaste kiss on the lips. With his face still between your small hands, you stared into his mesmerizing brown doe-eyes. You lightly whispered against the lips of your lover, "You shouldn't be asking me that."

Jungkook saw the tenderly feeling you projected at him with your pretty eyes. He couldn't control the craving he had for you; he'd been away from you for what seemed like forever. The spell that you didn't know you were doing captivated him, and he loved every second of it.

He swiftly picked you up and gently placed you on the bed, only for him to aggressively kiss you like there was no tomorrow; the action left you breathless. But in a quick second, you replicated the same feeling back.

One hand gripped the compression shirt that Jungkook had on, wanting to be as close to him as possible. While the other hand, you raked your fingers through his soft hair gently pulling from time to time. Jungkook had one arm looped around your torso, and the other cupping your face. The kiss was getting loud and messy; moans were being swallowed by the other, teeth would clash, togues would fight for control.

You pulled away hoping to catch your breath, but Jungkook doesn't seem to want to give you that choice, because his next action knocked you ways back. Jungkook loves the way you shudder under his touch, so when you detached your lips from his, he placed his mouth on your neck, feeling your pulse rapidly going. Your neck started becoming his next meal. You couldn't keep up with the constant pleasure; you grabbed a fistful of your boyfriend's hair and pulled him away from you. Breathlessly, you demanded, "No more. I can't keep up, babe."

Jungkook pouted at your words; he scooted himself in the corner of the room and sarcastically grumbled, "You hate me, huh, ____?" You watched your boyfriend with wide eyes at his accusation. You rolled your eyes at his childish behavior and giggled under your breath. You started getting cold, so you took the initiative on finding yourself a shirt. As you dug around your dresser, you could feel the intense burn of a certain someone staring you down.

Jungkook watched you with lust building up. He could never be tired of seeing the ethereal being roaming around the place. The moonlight shining on your bare skin makes it look like you're the rarest gem he's ever seen. You could be wearing the most ridiculous outfit, and he would still think you're the most precious thing that has ever lived.

You finally found a shirt to wear that had little cats on it, and in the midst of putting on the shirt, you called out, "How long are you gonna be staring at me? I can feel your eyes burn though my back."

Jungkook slyly smirked to himself. Not wanting to admit that his eyes were thirsting for your body, he teased with sass, "Honey... what makes you think you're so special for me to look at? Hmm?"

You turned around with your mouth agape. You could see the slight glimmer of playfulness in his eyes, so to match the energy, you retorted back, "Well then, I guess you wouldn't mind if I were to post that picture on my insta, since you think that I'm not special for me to be looked at."

In a flash you saw his face drop with seriousness; that made you smile so much brighter. Jungkook on the other hand knew that you were joking, but yet the thought of others seeing that precious photo of you made his blood slightly boil. He so badly wanted to wipe that pretty smile off your face, but he loved the cuteness you displayed when you were getting on his nerves. So, wanting to keep that version of yourself a little longer he fed into your teasing.

Jungkook got up and trudged his way to your perky self. Once he was fully in front of you, he dropped his head on your shoulder and quietly pleaded, "Don't post that photo, baby, please? I will do whatever you want me to. I just can't have others seeing what's mine."

Your boyfriend's words were feeding into your ego; you felt somewhat victorious. You tapped your lips and showcased an expression that you were thinking about his words. "Hmm... well since you seem upset, I guess I won't post it, but in exchange I need you to truly beg - like down on your knees and your hands in prayer position."

Jungkook took a deep breath in when he heard those words. You never fail to make him feel disbelief from your words or actions. He lifted up his head and like the good boyfriend he is, he got down and was ready to beg... until you raised your hand and interrupted, "Hold on for a quick second. I have to get my phone."

In that moment, Jungkook felt like ripping out his hair. He inaudibly yelled and before you could grab your phone, he threw you over his shoulder.

"Jungkook!" you squealed, "What are you doing? Let me down!" Jungkook didn't reply to you, instead he ran out the room and once he reached the living room, the tall man started jumping; like you were weights, and he was doing exercises. You tried yelling out your anger, but with all the movements, all you could spout out was laughs and groans.

After what seems like forever, Jungkook finally set you down on the couch and smiled with triumph. He saw the way your chest was heaving up and down, the way your hair was all over the place, the tired expression on your face; a certain thought punched its way through his brain. With arms crossed and a content emotion painting him, Jungkook lightly laughed, "You know, baby, this view in front of me... dangerously beautiful."

You looked up at your boyfriend with heavy eyes and said, "What are you talking about?" Jungkook answered, "I'm saying that you look fucked, like I just fucked you hard and bad type-a-fucked." You leaned your head back and let out a sigh, "What the hell, Jungkook." You soon started laughing, "Why are you like this?" The man standing before you laughed as well.

With your head still leaned back you felt a deep dip right by you. You lightly tilted your head to see the view of your beautiful lover beaming with a serene expression. The love you have for this man is so evergreen. The thought that you have gained such a breathtaking partner, never fails to amaze you. The slight dimple that showcased itself the moment he smiled burst opened your heart. You immediately jumped into his lap in a straddle position and nested your head in the crook of his neck.

Jungkook grabbed tight of you and held you with such tenderness; both hands gently caressing your clothed back. This right here is home to him.

"How was work?" you spoke out.

"Hmm, it was good. Nothing to say really - oh wait... I got a new client and she -"

You quickly jerked your head up and gave your boyfriend a stern look; you interrupted, "She? Is she prettier than me?" Jungkook felt himself deeply sigh within. Every time he brings up the slightest mention of a girl you start turning into a jealous girlfriend. But Jungkook knows deep down you're only do this for attention. You will trust this man no matter what.

Jungkook softly grabbed your face and stared at you with reassurance. "Babe," he quietly proclaimed, "There is no other girl than you... and I say that with everything in me. How can I be with - even think about another woman than you? ____, believe when I say this... you are the only one for me. The only one I want to be with. Okay, you have to stop with that bullshit. You little attention seeker."

You started blushing like crazy. You knew that nobody else matter but you, but you still can't help but want to play a bit crazy. You hid your face right back to its previous position and smiled with every fiber in you. You always loved pushing his buttons.

Still red about what your lover had said, you murmured against his warm neck, "Did you at least made sure that you weren't a single man?"

Jungkook gave you slight side eye knowing that you won't be able to see his reaction. He formed his lips to a thin line and did another deep sigh. Trying to calm himself, Jungkook did little traces of circles on your smooth bare thigh. You felt this action and you knew that you got him annoyed. He always does this to make sure he doesn't have an outburst.

Before you had the chance to take back your question, Jungkook intervened, "You certainly are something, babe. I'll have you know - before you interrupted me in the beginning and said your little nonsense question - my client is a 36-year-old, gay woman. The reason why she wanted to have me as her trainer is because she wanted the woman she likes to be jealous. I'm the pawn, babe."

You mentally slapped yourself. You always did this; jump to conclusions was what you were good at. You sucked in some air through your teeth and slowly raised your head to apologize. The second you did though, Jungkook already had an expression that read "Are you happy now?".

You showed an embarrassed smile and softly laughed, "Oops." you exhaled. At that moment, Jungkook felt his heart flutter by your cuteness despite you getting him annoyed. He couldn't help but give in. He swiftly hooked one arm around your torso and the other gabbed a hold of your ass to keep you secured; he stood up and smiled at you.

The action took you by surprise but the second you saw his beautiful bunny smile you became the happiest person in that moment. You looped your arms around his shoulders and giggle, "What are you doing?" Jungkook kept quiet. Admiring you was all he could do right now; inspect every inch of that gorgeous face of yours. You saw the little twinkles in his irises and you wondered if it was the lights... it wasn't. It was all pure love that showed.

The look he gave you right now made you feel like you were the only person on this earth, that you were the only person his eyes could lay on. You felt like a goddess upon his longing stare.

"I love you."

"And I love you."

Jungkook carefully walked with you in his arms to the kitchen. He set you down on one of chairs around the kitchen island and kissed your cheek. He made his way to the cabinets and asked, "Okay, I can either make you some hot chocolate or chamomile tea. Something good and relaxing since its late. Take your pick?"

You pursed your lips while you did some thinking. "Hmm, I'll take some warm water instead, please?" Jungkook did a sharp turn of his head and gave you a grossed look. "Who the fuck drinks warm water? Oh, wait, you..." he dramatically said.

Not wanting him to get away with it, you fired back, "Who the fuck wears toe socks? Oh, hold on a minute, you... Oh, and don't get me started on who eats -"

The man before you rushed to your side and clasped his rough hand over your mouth. Your eyes gave a dirty look and you brushed his hand off from you. With playfulness lacing your words, you dared, "I can keep this going all night. So, either you give me what I asked for or I can tell you more that I have in mind. Take. Your. Pick?"

What you had said made Jungkook fall in love with you all over again. Your boldness was one of the things that caught his attention. Jungkook released some air from out his throat and grinned. "It shouldn't be, but that was fucking hot." He walked his way to fill up some water in the kettle, and added, "You know, ____, I wouldn't mind you talking like that to me again." Your breathing stopped for a quick second when those words left his mouth. Your face got a little red.

You breathed roughly through your nose and lightly exhaled with a smile, “You know, babe, you sound like you like being degraded.”

Jungkook slowly turned his head and gave you a sly smirk. You rolled your eyes at his action and softly smiled to yourself, “Stupid.” you quietly whispered.

After a few minutes Jungkook got done doing the drinks. He placed the cups on the counter with a soft clink, and you watched as the steam curled up from the hot liquid. He slid your warm water over to you, his fingers briefly brushing against yours, sending a small thrill through your veins.

He settled into the chair beside you, his knee grazing yours under the table. You both knew this comfortable proximity, this quiet intimacy, was something special. It was in these small moments that the bond between you deepened, wordlessly.

Your buff bunny took a sip of his hot chocolate, his eyes never leaving yours, the warmth of the drink mirroring the warmth that filled the space between you two. "You know," he began, his voice soft and teasing, "there are a lot of things I'd let you get away with, but not with that look you just gave me."

You chuckled, lifting your cup to your lips. The warmth of the water soothed you, but it was his presence that really made you feel at ease. "And what look was that?" you asked, your voice a bit huskier than usual. You knew that he knew what you were doing, and he’s loving every second of it.

He shrugged nonchalantly, though the mischievous gleam in his eyes betrayed his true feelings. "That look that says you're always one step ahead of me. It's infuriatingly attractive," he admitted, leaning in closer.

You bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile. This man was too much for your tiny heart. "So what you're saying is, you like it when I have the upper hand?"

Jungkook’s a competitive guy, but you’re a different case. "Only when it's you," he replied without missing a beat. The sincerity in his voice made your heart flutter. "But don't think I'm going to let you have it all the time. I have my ways of keeping up."

You couldn't help but laugh at that. "Is that so? And how do you plan on doing that?" He grinned, setting his cup down and reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The gesture was tender, sending a shiver down your spine. "Oh, I have my ways. But you'll just have to wait and see."

You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Is that a challenge, Jungkook?" You saw his eyes sparkled with excitement. "Only if you're up for it, baby. You know I love a good challenge.”

"You're on," you replied, your voice filled with determination.

The night was quiet, save for the occasional sounds of the kettle clicking off or the gentle hum of the refrigerator. Outside, the world was still, wrapped in the serenity that comes with the late hours of the night. Inside, however, the air between you and Jungkook was electric, charged with a playful energy that neither of you could resist.

As the minutes ticked by, you found yourself leaning more into the conversation, your words flowing easily as you teased and bantered with him. He matched you word for word, never backing down, always ready with a witty retort or a flirty comment that made your heart race.

At one point, your lover leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at you with a satisfied smile. "I think I'm winning," he declared, his tone smug. You rolled your eyes, but couldn't hide your smile. "You wish. I'm just getting started."

He laughed, the sound deep and rich, filling the space with warmth. Ohh how you love that sound with everything you have. "That's what I love about you, ____. You're always ready for more."

His little comment got you paused for a moment, your smile softening. Jungkook saw the small action and every time you smiled his love meter rises - and boy-oh-boy the bar is stretching across the galaxy. "And what else do you love about me?" you asked, your voice quiet, almost hesitant.

Jungkook met your gaze, his expression serious now. "Everything," he said simply. "Your strength, your kindness, your ability to keep me on my toes. The way you make me laugh, the way you challenge me. I love all of it. I don’t think I’ll be able to function - even live properly without you, ____. Your whole existence… I need that. I would tell you millions of reasons on why I love you, but then I would have to write a whole novel."

His words took you by surprise, and for a moment, you were speechless. It wasn’t rare for Jungkook to tell you how much he loves you, but it was certainly rare for him to say such deep feelings like that - you hadn't expected him to be so open, so honest. But then again, that was Jungkook. He always had a way of surprising you, of showing you sides of himself that you hadn't seen much before.

You reached out, placing your hand on his warm soft cheek. "I love you too," you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them. His eyes softened, and he nuzzled his face more against your hand. "I know," he replied, his voice filled with warmth and affection.

The moment was intimate, filled with a quiet understanding that didn't need words. It was in these moments that you realized just how deep your connection with Jungkook was. It wasn't just about the teasing or the playful banter. It was about the love that had grown between you, the bond that had strengthened over time.

He placed his hand on top of yours and squeezed it gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. "Come on," he said after a while, his voice soft. "Let's finish our drinks and get to bed. I wanna lay down and touch some boobs.”

You playfully grabbed some of his hair pulling it while trying to display an annoyed expression. In the midst of you doing that, Jungkook wanted to push your button a bit more… so he moaned.

“Babe!” You yelled out. You clasped your hand on his mouth trying to shut him up, but it just made him moan even louder. Jungkook was having so much fun, to the point where he even produce tears from all the laughing.

After that small fiasco, everything dialed down. Jungkook stood up and offered you his hand, but you didn’t want to accept it because of how much he pissed you off, “Stop being stubborn and take my damn hand, babe.” Jungkook groaned out. “No.” You simply said.

Jungkook yet again threw you over his shoulder just like last time. While walking his way to your guy’s room, you had your face down, keeping a close eye on your boyfriend’s lovely plump ass.

Once in the bedroom, Jungkook let go of you to pull back the covers, a smile playing on his lips as he watched you climb into bed. He quickly took off his clothes - just leaving him in his boxers and slid in beside you. He pulled the blanket over the both of you, his arm instinctively wrapping around your waist as your back perfectly rested along his front.

You felt a movement towards your chest; it was slow and steady. Just a second later you felt a rough hand softly grope one of your boobs. You quietly sighed, “This is all you’re doing. Better not have any other ideas, babe.” Jungkook gave a hum as a response and pulled you even closer.

The room was dark, save for the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the curtains. You could hear the steady rhythm of his breathing, the warmth of his body pressing against yours. It was in moments like these that you felt the most connected to him, as if the world outside didn't matter as long as you were together.

Jungkook shifted slightly, his hand running up and down your smooth tummy in slow, soothing strokes. Everything was feeling and going so good, until your idiot boyfriend ruined the moment.

“Can we fuck?”

“Shut the hell up and sleep.”

Everything was silent. Few seconds later you both giggled like kids having their first sleepover. You turned around and gave your love a kiss. Jungkook wanted to kiss you longer but he knew to respect your boundaries.

“Fuck… you get me too excited.”

“Hashtag ‘lol’”

Jungkook felt like crying at your stupid comment but the tiredness was catching up to him. “Alrighty then, babe, we have a big day later so let’s sleep now.”

“Okey dokey.”

“I love you, ____.”

“I love you, Jungkook.”

As you drifted off to sleep, you couldn't help but feel a deep sense of contentment. The night had been perfect, filled with laughter, love, and the kind of quiet moments that you cherished. And as you lay there, wrapped up in his arms, you knew that there was nowhere else you'd rather be.

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koosluvss · 1 year ago

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By your side always and forever | jjk

> Banner by me !

PAIRING : jungkook & fem!reader

SUMMARY : When your best friend and brother try to drag you out to a party on a random weekend you suddenly see your boyfriend who died in a car accident a year ago. Are you the only one who can see him.. And why does he still have an effect on you..?

GENRE : smut - dating - ghost boyfriend

CATEGORY : one-shot

WARNINGS : ghost jungkook, explicit content, college party, mention of death, mention of car crash, mention of depression, porn without a plot, nipple play, oral sex (both m & f), cum eating, spanking, crying, scratching, overstimulation, multiple positions, rough yet soft sex, unprotected sex (use that protection) pet names (baby, love) loneliness, minors dnii !!

AUTHORS NOTE : Hello everyone! I don’t know if many people are going to see this but if you are thank you for choosing to read this story! This is the first story I’ve ever attempted to write so please when it comes out feel free to put your honest opinions out there. This story is fake and it’s from my imagination so please don’t take my idea. Please look forward to reading bysaaf and once again thank you!

- koosluvss 🩵

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peachyjeonss · 2 years ago

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SUNKISSIN’ | J.JK

Pairing: Tattoo artist!Jungkook x Lifeguard!Reader

Genre: strangers to enemies, enemies to lovers, Smut

Warnings: Reader has a belly piercing, mentions of getting high, Jk and reader have nose piercings, size kink, slight daddy kink, Jk is pretty dominant even when it’s not sexual, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap pls), readers kind of a bitch at first, Jk is also kind of a dick at first, clueless reader at times, Jk gets jealous, jk eats her out, reader gets jk off, ass slapping, reader gets bent over the kitchen counter, reader’s kind of a spoiled brat, brat-taming, choking, tummy bulge, praise, degradation, cum eating, brat tamer jk, dirty talk, slight exhibition, Jk is kind of an aggressive person (not in a toxic way obv),

Rating: M

Synopsis: Summer has begun and so has your job as a lifeguard at the Stillwells Country Club — Which means; sunny weather, blue pools and cute bathing suits! You’re looking forward to it; just another normal summer working with friends, but your summer takes a turn when you see his sweet eyes and intimidating stature at the staff car wash.

A/N: This is my first posttt, here’s the teaser!

His sunglasses lean on the tip of his nose as he looks up at the sky, breathing out.

“This is the most relaxed I’ve seen you in a minute.” Yoongi laughs, sitting next to him as he lathers sunscreen on his pale arms.

“Yeah, surprisingly work hasn’t come to my mind yet.” Jungkook admits, letting out a breathless chuckle as he kicks his feet in the water.

Yoongi hums, “Me neither, and I’m not even a sun person.”

“That’s what the rich life does to you, I guess.” Nari giggles, swimming to them.

Taehyung follows suit, pushing his falling sunglasses back up his nose. “Yeah, I’m about to order a pina-colada just ‘cause.”

“Don’t abuse the free membership either.” Jungkook warns, looking back down at his friend. “It was nice of her to do this for us.”

“Yeah, Aya’s always been pretty sweet.” Taehyung agrees, “She has her spoiled moments though, can't take the rich out of the girl completely.”

Nari smiles, “She’s better than me, I wouldn’t even interact with you peasants if I had country club money.”

“Yeah, that’s why you’re not rich.” Yoongi teases, “You’d be horrible.”

“I suppose.” Nari shrugs, looking around before her mouth falls into an O, “This resort even has good-looking lifeguards...”

Jungkook cocks a brow at her, last time he remembers the lifeguard was some scrawny dude with a permanent scowl. Looking up, Jungkook sits up quickly, pushing his sunglasses over his head at the familiar figure he sees switching seats with the old lifeguard.

“Isn’t that the girl you checked out the other day?” Yoongi asks, his eyes raking over your body shamelessly, making Jungkook shove him gently.

“Yeah, it is.” Jungkook smirks, watching as you offer some kids a cute smile, telling them to watch their step as they run. Even in the basic red swimsuit the lifeguards were required to wear you still somehow managed to look like sin. “She’s friends with Aya, right?”

“Yeah, they're actually really close.” Taehyung says in a forgetful manner, too preoccupied in doggy paddling around his friends. “Been friends since middle school.”

“Shit, so they're like sisters then.” Nari corrects, “Middle school to college is cool, they saw each other get out of the awkward stage.”

“If she even had one.” Jungkook laughs, still eyeing you.

“They say the prettiest girls have the most awkward phases.” Nari shrugs, “I mean, look at me, gorgeous and my awkward stage was horrendous.”

“Yeah, sure.” Yoongi laughs, wincing when Nari pinches his leg.

♡ If you like this story, comment under here to be on the taglist for when it comes out!

♡ If you want to be on the permanent taglist (for every story} send me an ask!

Have a good day! ♡

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oddinary4bts · 1 year ago

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When the End Comes | ch 4 (jjk)

☆pairing: photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in every chapter)

☆genre: breakup!au, slice of life!au, angst with a big A, smut

☆warnings: fear of getting stood up, alcohol, pet names, curses, Jungkook's scars, angst, stubborn Jungkook, pessimism, depressive episode, cliffhanger at the end I'm sorry, explicit content: jerking off, oral sex (male receiving), Jungkook taking pictures of them during (I apologize, I have sinned), balls sucking/fondling, pain kink (Jungkook), deep throating, mouth fucking, unprotected sex, hickey, clit play, degradation, fingering, cum play (ish?)

☆word count: 14.3k

☆series masterpost

☆a/n: Rereading each chapter to edit is a challenge bc I just be sobbing the whole time :') I hope you enjoy this one, though it does really hurt oop

☆a/n pt2: Thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing this, you are the best <3 and thank you to @jessikahathaway for supporting me with this project, you are amazinnng

☆Add yourself to the taglist here (if you were on the taglist for The Forgotten Spaces, you're already on the taglist for When the End Comes!)

☆☆☆☆☆

But love never leaves a heart, where it found it, found it You found it Someday, I'll fall into you That's where I'll be now when the end comes

When the End Comes, Andrew Belle

☆☆☆☆☆

Friday, September 8th

You clutch the gift bag in your hand. It feels strange to be meeting Jungkook again, after last weekend. And even after last weekend, you’re not sure where you’re standing.

Did he spend his whole week thinking about you the way that you were thinking about him?

You texted a little, over the week. Each time a notification from him popped up on your phone, you felt like you’d gone back in time. Like maybe, maybe you took a time machine to a past of better days last weekend. It’s bittersweet in a way, because you feel like there is still so much left unsaid between you and him.

But he’s willing to try. Even if you broke him, even if you’ve been wondering if there’s anything salvageable after all, he’s willing to try. Willing to meet you at a Korean barbecue restaurant halfway between his place and yours.

You check the time, anxiety flooding your veins. He’s running late, though he texted you to tell you he was almost there. A part of you wonders if he’s going to stand you up – you think you’d deserve it. Because you’re not sure you deserve this chance, yet you don’t want to lose it, don’t want to let it go.

You look down at the bag. You bought the gift on a whim this week, and you have no idea if he’ll still want it. It’s a lens he was looking to buy months ago, before he left for Paris, and there’s a high chance that he’ll have bought it for himself since then…

You just couldn’t think about anything other than that to gift him. Even though his work was your demise, you know Jungkook loves photography. Always will, no matter where you two will end up. And since it was his birthday last weekend – before you’d reconnected – you thought why not? Why not get a gift and show him that you still care, that you remember?

Because you’d never forget, when it comes to him. You think, if you had dementia, he’d be the last thing you’d lose, if at all.

You worry at your lip, glancing around. Luckily enough for you, there is a bench outside of the restaurant, though you can only sit on a corner of it as the rest is still wet from the rain earlier. It was raining when you left work, but it fortunately stopped as you were getting ready for the date.

You sigh, looking down at your phone again. Twenty minutes late seems like a long time, considering that Jungkook’s not one to be late usually. A sense of dread takes ahold of your heart, and you already feel tears forming in your eyes.

You were foolish, stupid. Idiotic, if you thought there was a way things could be set right.

You get up, looking towards the door of the restaurant. A couple are waiting in the hall, arms around each other as they hug with not a care in the world. It aches deeply, makes you crave the physical intimacy last Saturday held and you gulp as you swallow around the lump in your throat.

Still you stay rooted in your spot. There’s a light tremor that starts taking a hold of you, and you regret not putting a jacket on even though it isn’t remotely freezing today. Your eyes fall to the gift bag, and you think about May. About the moment you’d let him go – has he gotten too far for you to reach him now?

A tear wins. Or perhaps it’s the gravity, growing ten times stronger as your heart breaks again. As the hope gets lost to you, replaced by that same deep sorrow you’ve become accustomed to. You sigh, the breath of air trembling on the way out.

And then you almost let out a scream as someone touches your arm.

Jungkook startles just as much as you, taking a step back, his big, doe eyes widening even more as he meets your gaze. Your mouth remains open, yet no words come out. You just take him in, take his appearance in – his piercings, the beanie he’s wearing, his flushed cheeks. He looks like he was running, and you think maybe he was.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you.

At that your eyes drop to the bright pink bouquet of flowers he’s holding, and something inside of you heals, as if you’ve found a cure to the disease.

“Oh, Jungkook,” you let out. You meet his gaze again. “You didn’t have to.”

He pulls at his piercings, shrugging sheepishly. “I wanted to.”

It’s warm. Whatever is blossoming in your chest is warm, a stark contrast to the winter you’ve been stuck in since the night you lost him.

“Thank you,” you murmur, and you blink away the tears in your eyes.

You freeze when he wipes the one that’s already rolled on your cheek, frowning slightly at the sight.

“The florist I wanted to go to first was closed,” he says as an explanation. “I had to run around to find another one.”

You offer him a small smile, and his features immediately smooth out into a soft expression too.

“I was scared you were…” you trail off, wetting your lips as you refuse to voice your fear.

Refuse to admit you didn’t have faith in him.

“I thought you would,” he answers carefully. “Hence why I ran.”

You nod. “I…” You look down at the gift bag, holding it up. “I got you a birthday gift.”

His smile is teary when you look at it next, and you take a moment to delve into the depths of his gaze. There’s a small twinkle there, though it is faint, barely even noticeable. If you didn’t know him like the sun knows the moon, you wouldn’t recognize it.

He’s hopeful. It’s strange – there was no hope in Jungkook’s gaze last weekend. Or there had been, for a fraction of a moment, until it had been blown away by the wind. You can only hope that this time it will hold on strong.

“You didn’t have to,” he says, though the curve of his pink lips tells you he appreciates the thought.

He grabs the gift bag, not looking through it right away. Instead, he hands you the flowers, and you delicately take them, bringing them close to your nose so that you can inhale the fragrance. Your eyelids flutter shut, and a content smile moves on your lips.

“Thank you,” you murmur as you meet his gaze again. “And…” You motion towards the gift. “You deserved it. I think you’ll like it.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence, as Jungkook looks down at the bag. He offers you a tight-lipped smile, and you cock an eyebrow.

“What?” he lets out.

“Aren’t you going to…” you vaguely answer. “Open it?”

“Oh, now?” He chuckles awkwardly, glancing around before pointing towards the restaurant. “Shouldn’t we go in to give our names?”

He’s got a point. Especially considering that it’s a Friday evening. So you do just that, giving your phone number to the hostess as she tells you there will be a thirty minutes wait. You and Jungkook move back outside after that, and he guides you towards his car, a few streets down.

“How was work this week?” he asks on the way.

“Better,” you admit, remembering how you’d told him that you didn’t like the new department in which you worked.

And it’s true – it has been better. Maybe because the excitement of receiving texts from him through the days made it easier to handle. Or maybe it’s because you haven’t been so damned cold since last weekend. All in all, work has been easier, even if it isn’t as interesting as it used to be.

“I’m glad,” he says, offering you a smile.

Silence surrounds the two of you, only interrupted by a car honking in the street. You startle a little, and Jungkook chuckles.

You’re struck. His chuckles have healing properties, you’re convinced of it. They spark hope into you, so bright you think you’ll be blinded, retina forever burned. Yet your eyes don’t lose focus on him, even as his lips return to a neutral expression.

“What about you?” you ask as your heart picks up in your chest. “What were you up to this week?”

A small crease appears between his brows, but it disappears so quickly you think you might have imagined it. “I’ve been going to the gym,” he answers. “And looking around for some jobs.”

His last sentence turns the hope into a firework show inside of you. “Yeah? Any luck so far?”

You reach his car, and as he always does, he opens the door for you. You blush, something you haven’t really done with Jungkook in forever, and you’re struck thinking that this feels new.

Perhaps this will be a new chapter in your relationship with Jeon Jungkook after all.

“Thank you,” you mutter as your cheeks burn. You sit in, and he closes the door before moving around the car to get in. You watch him do so, and he sits next to you, turning the car on just long enough so that you can roll the windows down.

“Now,” he lets out, eyeing the bag. “What’s this?”

For some reason, it makes you chuckle, and he shoots you a dumb smile that makes you think you’ve delved right into the heat of summer, warmth spreading through you. It erases the winter, replaces it with blooming flowers and bright sun rays, golden sunsets and the feeling of a soft breeze threading through your hair.

Needless to say, you want to cling to it before winter comes again.

“Open and you’ll see,” you answer, your heart racing as you glance at the bag, before going back to his smile.

He nods, and he opens the bag, taking out the paper first. Your heartbeat increases tenfold because, what if he doesn’t like it?

What if he takes it as an affront that you’ve given him something photography related?

But then he sees it. Sees the lens you bought for him, and his features turn somber, but not in a bad way. They settle into a calm expression, with a softer smile that barely even tugs at the corners of his lips. He takes a deep breath, and then looks towards you again.

Teary eyes find yours, and you think maybe this is it. Maybe this is where the end will find you. Lost in the swirling depth of his gaze, in the forgotten space of you and him.

He whispers your name, emotion making it heavier than the whole world. You nod once, as no sentences take shape in your mind to reply to him. You’re not sure you have to say something – he sees in your eyes the emotions you can’t quite voice.

“You really didn’t have to,” he adds, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he gulps. “Fuck.”

He looks down at the lens, takes it out of the bag so that he can examine it thoroughly. You observe him as he does so, as if you’re watching a show. And you think, maybe he is a show – a movie meant for you to admire on and on until you go old and blindness seeps into your gaze.

“I wanted to,” you reply.

He shoots you a quick look, just as teary as the initial one. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

And then he laughs, a small vulnerable laugh that has you blinking back the wetness building up on your waterline. You echo it with one of yours, though it comes unexpectedly to you. But then again, you reckon you share the same feelings.

You always have, haven’t you? Your soul is in sync with his, has always been, no matter if distance put an end to the story of you and him. Or tried to, because he’s here today.

So are you, and if he allows it, you’ll never leave again.

“I’ve wanted this lens in forever,” he says, voice small as he turns it in his hands, looking at it in every possible angle. “You…” he trails off, meets your gaze and smiles again. “You remembered.”

You nod. “How could I forget?” You worry at your lips, shy away from his gaze to watch your wriggling fingers in your lap. “There isn’t a day I didn’t think of you.”

The revelation seems out of place, in a parked car on the side of a busy street. Yet it comes naturally to you, and meets him just as naturally. Because he nods, and then reaches for you. Grabs your jaw, gently, so that he can turn your head towards him. There’s a moment when you think the whole world holds his breath, and then he leans forward, brushes a soft kiss on your lips.

“I missed you,” he admits as he pulls away, letting go of your jaw reluctantly.

A tear slips on your cheek, and you quickly dry it. “I missed you too.”

And though the moment is heavy with emotion, you don’t want to run away from it. When you were younger, you would have fled like a deer hearing a branch crack in the woods. But today, today you want the weight of this emotion to rest upon you, like a weighted blanket that reminds you you’re alive.

The emotion lingers, past this moment and into the next. As you get the text that a table is ready for you and him, and you move back to the Korean restaurant. As you sit in front of him, watch him smile and laugh in time with you at the stupid jokes that you make.

You and him make more sense than you realized. Or maybe you forgot. Maybe the distance made you forget, but right now you think you know he’ll always be the one. And if you lose him again, he’ll be the one that got away, and you’ll search for him through every connection with temporary people.

Because there can’t be permanent people after him. He’s permanently inked into your heart, carved into your bones.

“How has your family been?” he asks when there’s a lull in the conversation.

You offer him a tight-lipped smile, though you know he means your father, Isabel and Louis.

You know he’d never talk about your mother as part of your family.

“They’ve been great,” you answer. “Dad’s been looking to retire, or at least to have a lesser charge at work.”

Jungkook furrows his brows, but says nothing as he puts some meat on the grill between you and him. You observe him as he does so, wincing when flames erupt and he pulls his hand away – quickly enough, thankfully.

“How old is he again?” Jungkook asks after that, meeting your gaze again.

“Fifty-nine,” you reply. “But I don’t think it’s about his age. He just wants to spend more time with Louis.”

The softness that takes over his doe eyes makes you want to curl up in him, against him. Makes you want to listen to his beating heart until the day that it ceases, decades away from now. It’s a strong feeling, and you’re forced to blink away tears again.

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook gently says, and he reaches to pat your cheek.

It makes you laugh. Of course it does, and he offers you a dumb smile again. For the first time that night, you notice that yes, it does reach his eyes. The smile lights up his gaze, though there’s wariness, etched in the lines of his face.

It’s not that you missed it before. Maybe you just didn’t want to see it. But right in this instant, it’s all you can see, and it makes his smile fall until his eyes follow, moving to the grill. He turns the meat as you busy yourself with eating japchae.

And you don’t like this silence. You don’t like the ache that it carries, so you force yourself to try. To try and fight for him and prove that, after everything, he really is where the end will be, when it comes for you.

“What about your family?” you ask, throwing him a lifeline in the storm you’re sure he’s been plagued with too.

“They’ve been great,” he answers. “My brother’s wife is pregnant again.”

For a moment you forget about the torment between you and him as your mind zeroes in on the fact. “That’s amazing!” you let out, and your smile comes easily. “They must be so happy.”

Jungkook looks at your smile, taking a deep breath. It seems he takes a decision then, because his lips curve up, and some of the wariness fades away. He looks softer like this, younger, and your heart shines under his light.

“It really is,” he says. “I was thinking on going to Korea to see the baby when Yuri gives birth.”

In another world, you would have said you’ll go with him, but right now you don’t think you can. So, instead, you reply, “That’s a good idea. I’m sure your family will be happy to see you.”

He nods, and then he puts some meat in your bowl, taking the two other stripes for himself. You mindlessly pick one of the pieces up, mixing it in ssamjang before eating it. You wince as you burn your tongue a little, and quickly eat the meat so that you can take a long gulp of water.

Jungkook must have expected you to burn yourself, because he laughs at your expense as he refills your glass. “You good?”

You nod. “Sorry, just burned myself.”

“Don’t apologize.”

So you don’t. For the rest of the evening, you try not to apologize. And you think you succeed – you both speak as if distance wasn’t a thing between you. As if time hasn’t come to pass between you too – as if you’ve never been apart. As if, seven years ago, the stars told the truth as they sparkled in the July night sky.

You finish eating while chatting like this, while sharing thoughts about movies you’ve seen. As he tells you about working out, about Bam and the songs he’s been listening to. He drinks a beer as you speak, and you once again take a moment to admire him.

You’d never admit it, but the beanie makes him look good. Comfortable and soft – as does the jean jacket, you reckon. But then again you know Jungkook would look good in anything, one of the advantages of him being gifted with pretty privilege.

And when he clinks his glass with yours, claiming you have to finish drinking even though you’ve only been drinking water, you still laugh with him, still down your glass as he chugs the beer. And you wonder, how long will it take to erase the distance?

Will it take more than this moment in time, to undo the distance and rebuild the closeness?

And you think, maybe it just needs now. Because as you walk out, bellies full and minds buzzing with a slight tinge of alcohol, you accept Jungkook’s extended hand. You let him guide you to his car, even though yours is parked on the other side of the restaurant. He opens the door for you again, but you hesitate for a moment.

Long enough to step closer to him instead, and pull him down so you can peck his lips. He looks surprised, and his features fall serious as you share a long look.

“Can I come over tonight?” you whisper.

He nods. “I thought it was a given.”

Of course he would. And you’re not even mad that he would. You’re rather relieved, and you can’t help yourself. You can’t help pulling him down in a more heated kiss, even though you hate public displays of affection. There are just words your lips can’t say any other way than this, and he gets it. He’ll always get you. He always will, and he kisses you with the same intensity, one hand cupping your cheek gently while the other presses on the small of your back, resting flat as he pulls you in. You hold his delicate waist, sighing in the kiss as your thumbs draw idle lines on his sides.

Jungkook pulls away to press a kiss on your forehead, lingering there for a small eternity that leads to you wrapping your arms around his waist. He lets you do it, and you wonder if his soul has found yours. You hope it has, for there are things your soul can say even better than your mouth can.

Apologies don’t mean much when they are shaped in words. But you think your soul could show him, and maybe, maybe tonight he’ll allow you to show him.

“Are you parked somewhere you can leave your car overnight?” he asks softly, lips moving against your forehead.

You nod. “I am.”

“Then let’s go home.”

*****

It comes as a surprise, when you realize Jungkook has moved in the same building as Kiko and Yoongi. Even more so as they run into you on the way in, knowing smiles on their lips as Jungkook holds your hand tight. They don’t really say a lot – both of them aren’t man and woman of words, except when they pour them into the lyrics of a song.

But Kiko does hug you. Does whisper in your ear that she wishes everything will be set right for the two of you, and when you pull away to meet Jungkook’s gaze, you think it already is. Especially as you’re clutching the flowers he got for you, and their sweet fragrance surrounds you.

And then they walk away, as they were leaving to go on a late walk, and you and Jungkook walk in the building, making your way to the elevator. Jungkook presses the call button, and then pulls you close to his chest so that he can press a kiss on the top of your head.

“Well, that was awkward,” he says.

You chuckle. “It wasn’t really.”

His grip tightens around you before he lets you go so that you can enter the elevator. He follows you in, and he intertwines your fingers as he presses on the fourth floor. As the elevator starts moving, you pull him closer, tilting your head back as you pout slightly.

“What?” he asks.

“Kiss me?”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. He immediately dives in, and you’re surprised with the strength of the kiss. As if he’s pouring his entire soul in it, and you think maybe he is. After all, you kiss him back with all the fire in you, and it’s burning brighter than it ever has.

Unfortunately, the moment is short-lived as you reach his floor and the doors slide open. He pulls away, presses a kiss on your forehead as if he wasn’t sucking on your tongue a moment ago, and then he pulls you behind him as he walks towards his door.

It’s further down the hall, and you wait excitedly as he unlocks. Though you’re a little worried about seeing Bam again – what if he doesn’t recognize you?

Which, you reckon was a stupid thought, because the dog comes barging out, tail wagging wildly, when Jungkook manages to get the door open.

“Bamie!” you exclaim, and Jungkook carefully takes the bouquet of flowers from your hand to allow you to bend down and pet the dog.

He licks at your face, whimpering as if he thought he’d lost you. It brings tears to your eyes, and you giggle like a kid as you pet him, rubbing his short fur as he keeps running all around you.

“I think he’s happy to see you,” Jungkook deadpans, and you burst out laughing.

You look up to try and look at Jungkook, but Bam jumps in your vision, which makes you giggle again. And then, something magical happens. Something you didn’t think you’d hear again – Jungkook laughs that childish laugh of his, the one that usually only comes forth when he’s really happy.

You act by pure instinct. You stand up, wrap your arms around Jungkook’s neck. His giggle dies against your lips, but he’s quick to kiss you back as he snakes his inked arm around your back. You let out a breathy sound, and then burst into a fit of giggles as Bam jumps on you.

“I think he demands attention,” you state and Jungkook nods as you part, though he keeps his arm close to you.

“We should take him on a walk,” he says, and you notice his cheeks are flushed red. You reckon yours probably are too, but there’s something about seeing the effect that you have on him, even after everything, that makes you come undone.

“I’m so happy to be with you right now,” you murmur.

He gulps, eyes shining suddenly. “Me too.” He adds your name softly, before repeating, “Me too.”

You walk in his apartment after that, to put the flowers in a large glass of water since Jungkook doesn’t own any vase. Meanwhile, he disappears in what you assume is the bedroom, only to reappear with his camera. To your surprise, he’s already fitted the new lens on it.

It’s endearing. There’s something so incredibly endearing at the thought that your gift is loved already, that Jungkook already wants to use it. It makes a line of silver appear in your eyes, and you don’t even blink it away as Jungkook angles the camera towards you to take a picture.

“Huh,” he lets out as he looks at the picture. He adjusts some settings, and before he’s had time to take another picture of you, Bam comes up to you, jumping up. His two paws rest on your waist as you laugh, and that’s when Jungkook snaps the picture.

You glance his way to see him smiling softly, and then he nods appreciatively. “I’m going to use this lens way too much,” he comments.

It makes you laugh. “I’m glad.”

And then you’re going outside with the dog. Jungkook brings the camera, and he snaps pictures of the surroundings, of you and Bam. He even takes one of the three of you, though you reckon the angle is clearly unflattering.

It doesn’t feel like it matters. Because you’re struck realizing that this, this moment matters. It matters enough for him to want to commit it to memory, and you wonder if he’s going to add it to all the frames you left behind.

But then again, did he even put them up in his new apartment? From what you could see when you were in, there was no picture visible.

It aches, but then he tells you to smile and you do. You immediately do, because there’s nothing easier than smiling when you’re with him like this. The wariness still clings to him, but it’s barely visible, like a mirage that’s about to fade in the distance.

“Stop taking pictures of me,” you say as he takes another one.

He lets out a noncommittal sound, shrugging his shoulder. “Why?”

You pout as blush creeps on your cheek. “You haven’t taken this many pictures of me since… Chicago?”

He shakes his head. “I took more pictures on our first trip to Korea.”

A beautiful trip, where you’d met his family for the first time. You had gotten along with everyone well, even though your Korean was poor. You got better through the years, but you still have a long way before you can speak in Korean without feeling like everyone is going to judge you.

“That’s beside the point,” you mumble. You motion towards Bam, who’s patiently sitting next to you. “I’m pretty sure he’s done.”

Jungkook pouts, and butterflies take flight in your stomach. “Sorry,” he apologizes.

You’re not quite sure why.

“I just…” he adds, and then shadows cloud over his features. They resemble the sorrow that was surrounding him last weekend, and just like that you think summer has ended. “I haven’t used my camera since…”

You don’t need for him to say it, because you know exactly what he was going to say. Still, it hurts, and your gaze drops to the ground.

“Gosh,” you whisper. You let out a strangled sound. “I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just grabs your hand, raising it to his mouth to press a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“We said we’d try,” he reminds you, or maybe he’s trying to remind himself. “Let’s try. For real. So no more apologies.”

“I feel like you deserve thousands of apologies and more,” you admit.

He kisses your forehead, and it’s against your skin that he whispers, “I just want us to move on from what happened.”

You nod, wrapping an arm around his waist to loosely hug him. Unfortunately, Bam pulls on his leash, and you have to let go of Jungkook far too quickly. Still, you meet his gaze, nodding your head again.

“I want to move on too,” you tell him. “If I could, I’d erase everything but…”

He holds out his hand for you to interlace your fingers with his. “But it’s in the past.”

He’s right, yet you see the wariness. It’s still there, though you think soon the mist will dissipate with the rays of the sun. So you follow him in, let him feed Bam before he shows you around his small apartment. It feels like him, in ways you can’t really describe, and you want to stay. You think, if he’d ask you’d never leave again.

“I like it,” you tell him as he finishes the tour in his bedroom, which is only occupied by an unmade bed with white sheet and a small night table with his pair of glasses on top. You notice the LED lights, and a smile moves to your lips. “Please tell me these still shine purple like they did at the house with the boys.”

Jungkook nods, offering you a grin. “Yeah. I thought it’d be great to have a… reminder of a simpler time.”

He turns them on, and you get it. You get it so much you grab the lapels of his jean jacket, pulling him closer to you. His lips are upon yours in an instant, hungry, insistent, ravishing a kiss that makes you light-headed. Especially as he grabs your face, holds on to it like it’s a life buoy in a storm. The piercings push into your bottom lip, their colder temperature making your tongue dart to them, as if to warm them.

Jungkook groans, and then kicks the door of his bedroom shut. He’s had to stop kissing you for that, but he’s kissing you again half a second later, and it’s even more intense, more desperate.

You let go of his jacket, hands blindly moving to his belt as he pushes his tongue in your mouth. You suck on it, moan lightly when he groans again. You fumble with the buckle, but soon enough you get it undone, and you move on to the button of his jeans.

You just want him. Need to feel his body against you, in you. And clearly he needs the same thing, as he pulls away from the hug to take your shirt off. Right as you get the button undone, and then unzip his jeans. You slip your hand in, letting out a breathy sound as you find him already hard. He sits heavy in your hand, and you squeeze him unabashedly.

“Fuck,” he curses, head thrown back as his eyes close. “Baby.”

The pet name has you drop to your knees, and you pull his pants down just enough for his dick to spring free. He doesn’t try to stop you, and you admire him for a time. Admire the brown base of his tip, the veins that run along his length. A bead of precum appears on his slit as you look, and you’re quick to lick it clean. The salty taste fills your mouth, and you look up at him, to see him watching down on you, strands of hair falling in his eyes where they’ve escaped the confines of his beanie.

“Suck it, mmh?” he says.

You grab him, jerking him off loosely. “Yeah?”

His eyes darken behind the strands of hair. He bites at his piercings, cocking his head to the side. And then he’s glancing away and to your surprise, he asks, “Can I take pictures of you while you suck my dick?”

You swirl your tongue around his tip, and he bucks his hips forward. In answer, you sit back on your heels, looking up at him innocently. “Right now?” He nods. “You want to take pictures of me while I suck your dick?”

“If you want to,” he answers. “If you don’t want to it’s fine.”

You close your lips around his tip, sucking once. “You’ll keep the pictures to yourself?”

You don’t know why you’re agreeing. Only know that the lust in Jungkook’s gaze is making you forget everything about common sense. But then again, you highly doubt that Jungkook would ever do anything to harm you.

Jungkook’s mouth falls open as he was about to answer, but when you take his dick as far as you can, he’s silenced. And he’s hard in your mouth, a rod of steel you’ve missed since last week.

“Yeah,” he finally breathes out.

You sit back on your heels. “Then it’s fine.”

He smirks, nodding his head as he finishes taking off his jeans and underwear. “Wait here.”

You purse your lips as he walks away, and you watch him leaving his room to head to where he left his camera. You patiently wait, feeling shy even though you have nothing to be shy about. This is just Jungkook – it’s not like he hasn’t seen you half-naked and on your knees for him before.

It takes him a moment to come back, but when he does, it’s to sit on bed. He’s still hard, and he leans back on a hand as you move closer.

“If you want me to stop, you tell me, okay?” he gently says as you run a hand along his thighs.

You glance at his scar, the familiar knot of skin giving you more confidence than you expected. “You’re going to jerk off to these pictures, mmh?”

He gulps, angling his camera towards you as you lean closer to his dick. You lick at it, and the shutter goes off.

It has you dripping in your panties, unexpectedly.

“So what if I do?” he asks as you grab his dick, stroking him.

The question is rhetorical, and your answer is to wrap your lips around his cock as your eyes flutter shut. You swirl your tongue around the tip and hollow your cheeks as you go down. You hold the gag reflex in as he hits the back of your throat, and you can’t help but moan as you hear his camera again.

You flick your tongue at his frenulum on the way out, and then you stroke his dick as you sit back. You move one hand to his balls, squeezing gently before thinking better of it and leaning forward, sucking on one. He grunts, and you keep your eyes locked on the camera as you jerk him off faster.

Another picture added to the list. And you’re dripping wet. Already you want to sink on his dick, want him to be so deep inside of you that you’re just one.

“Kook…” you murmur, and then you’re back to sucking on his dick, though this time you make sure to squeeze his balls too, the way that he likes it. Hard, but not too hard, and you’re choking around his dick in no time as he starts fucking up in your mouth, clearly forgetting about the pictures.

It goes like this for a while, with his dick growing impossibly hard. Your jaw aches by the time he pushes down on your head, hand lost in your hair. You gag, and he moans loudly. You think he’s coming, but he somehow manages to keep it in before pulling you off.

“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.” He breathes for a moment, as you wipe your mouth and chin from the drool.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. You glance at the camera. “Any good pics?”

That brings him back to the land of lust and passion, and he offers you a smirk. “We can look at them after. I’m not done with you yet.”

You laugh, because you know you’ve barely started. Know you’re likely to be unable to walk tomorrow. Because the lust in his gaze hasn’t shone so bright in years, yes, but also because you almost lost each other.

Or maybe you have, and this too is just a dip in the past.

You stand up, hands snaking to your back so that you can unclasp your bra. Jungkook watches you carefully, before taking a picture as you massage your breasts. It makes you bite at your lower lip, and you look at his hard dick where it rests on his stomach.

“Can I ride you?” you ask breathlessly.

He smirks. “You don’t want me to finger you first?”

Instead of replying, you finish undressing, taking off your pants and panties at the same time. You then push on his jean jacket, and he takes that as a cue to remove it. You motion to the shirt too as he was about to lean back on his hand and he cocks his head to the side, an eyebrow raised. When you nod, he takes it off too, and it makes his beanie fall.

His hair is a mess, and you can’t resist but step forward so that you can push it back, though you think the jet black strands are currently untamable. You give up after a few seconds, pushing on his chest so that he lies back.

His eyes are on you as you climb on his lap, and you grind along his length, coating it with your juices.

“Shit,” he lets out again. “You’re fucking dripping.”

You nod, moving up just enough so that you can grab the base of his dick. His tip prods your entrance, and he pulls at his piercings as you wait there, teasing him with a corner smile on your lips.

“Fucking tease,” he growls.

It undoes something in you. Because yes, you wanted to tease him. You wanted him to beg you to fuck him, but now you sink down on him, until he reaches your cervix. Even the pain of him hitting the back of your pussy doesn’t make you move, and your walls clench around his dick as he grunts out a curse, followed by your name.

“Kook,” you purr. “Fuck me good.”

He chuckles as you circle your hips, and his free hand rests on your hip as he angles his camera to take a picture of you again. “You can’t do the work?”

He says it condescendingly, and you find enough challenge in you to start bouncing up and down. It shuts him up, and the following moment is spent with you fucking yourself on him as he groans under you, your breathy moans filling his room. Soon enough he stops taking pictures, putting his camera down next to him so that he can hold your hips with his two hands.

And then he’s fucking up in you, and you cry out as you lean forward, wrapping an arm around his neck while your other hand holds on to his shoulder.

You’re a mess, yet your heart clenches in your chest as he fucks you like this. As you remember a land of winter, that somehow doesn’t feel as distant as it should. Maybe because of Jungkook’s wariness tonight, or maybe because you know all good things come to an end.

The thought douses your arousal, until Jungkook stills deep inside of you and whispers, “I want to be with you, like this, forever.”

You nuzzle your face in his neck and suck a mark on his skin. “Me too.”

And then he’s fucking you again, hard and quick. He holds you close, grunts in your ear as you lick at his neck. It’s an abundance of sensation, and your brain focuses on the way he hits your clit whenever he pushes up. Whenever his hips snap against you, and soon there’s an orgasm in the distance.

It finds you when he lets you sit up so that you can fuck yourself on him again, and his thumb finds your clit to press expert circles on it. It finds you hard, and your pussy spasms repeatedly on his dick. He helps you through the high, and when you finally come down, a dumb smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

“Fuck,” you let out.

“Felt good?” he asks with a teasing tone to his voice, the one you know he only reserves for you.

To hear it right now makes you love him so much you think you’ll die on the spot. Because yes, tonight has been great. Yes, it’s almost been like before, but what if he doesn’t take you back?

What if, in the end, this was just an extended moment meant to be closure for you and him?

“Yes,” you still reply.

Because no matter how much your heart aches in your chest, you’ll never lie to him.

“Good,” he says. He sits up, wraps an arm around your waist to steady you as he brings his mouth to yours.

You go in for the kiss. Meet him halfway, and you moan against him as he moves under you, albeit clumsily from the position.

His lips will make you drunk. Make you dumb, make you forget that there’s a world outside the door. That, in that world, you might not belong to him anymore. But then again, you think you do. To you, you always will.

“Lie on your side,” he says after a moment, lips moving against yours.

Jungkook pecks your lips one last time before you move, and then he kneels behind you. His dick prods your entrance again, and he grabs his camera to snap another picture.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he praises as he pushes the tip in, taking another picture. “Such a good little fucking slut.”

And then he pushes all the way in, until all of him is embedded in you. You grip the sheets as a broken moan escapes your lips. He holds your hip with one hand, fingers digging in the supple skin as he fucks you hard, chasing his own orgasm.

He looks good doing it. Long hair sticking to the sweat on his face, eyes narrowed in pleasure, mouth open as soft grunts echo through the room. The purple light makes his honey skin glow somehow, and you feel another orgasm reaching for you, though it doesn’t hit right away. It just feels so good – as he always does – and you can’t help but clench your walls against him.

That’s what undoes him. He comes, ropes of white painting your insides, as he swears and says your name in a litany that almost makes you go over the edge too.

“Baby,” he says at the end.

It feels like a confirmation. Like a confirmation that, maybe, maybe you will work this time around. That maybe distance won’t destroy you again – maybe you’ll grow old and gray by his side.

“You came so much,” you say as you feel his hot cum sitting deep inside of you.

He pulls at his piercing, nodding once. And then he pulls out, and he takes a picture of the cum dripping out of you. He decides to push it back in, curling a finger inside of you, and your walls clench as you moan.

“Touch your clit,” he tells you.

You don’t need to be told twice. You quickly move your fingers to the sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing quick circles on it as he pushes another digit inside of you, fingering you until the second orgasm finally finds you.

You cry out his name, a broken plea that doesn’t really make any sense as your vision turns white. And it stays that way for a long time, blinding you until ecstasy is swimming in your blood. And when you come down from the high, all that you can think is how much you missed him.

“Kook,” you breathe out.

“Baby…”

He puts the camera away, and then bends to press a kiss on your lips. It’s soft, and you grab his face to hold him in place, not even wincing as a bead of his sweat rolls on your cheek. You kiss him with a heart heavy with emotions, trying to show him that you’re never going to leave again. When he pulls away, you notice his teary gaze.

“Can we be together again?” he asks, and you watch in horror as a tear rolls on his cheek. You sit up, drying it with your thumb.

And you don’t care if it was too quick. Don’t care that there’s a high chance it won’t last. You still answer, “Yes, Kook. Yes we can.”

He smiles, nodding his head. “Let’s take a shower. I want to hold you tonight.”

You want to cry from the statement, want to tell him that you wish he could hold you forever, but the words get lodged in your throat. Instead, you follow him as he gets up, interlacing your fingers with his as he leads you to the bathroom, uncaring that his seed is rolling down your inner thighs.

He turns the shower on, and soon enough you’re standing under the hot water. He watches you carefully, presses a kiss on your forehead when you stand in front of him. You wrap your arms around his waist, holding him as close as you physically can. Even then it’s not enough – you want him under your skin, or to be under his.

You don’t think you’d survive being parted from him again. Maybe that’s why you let him fuck you again when you return to his room, slower this time, lips entwined in a never-ending embrace. Love flows between you and him, and it’s etched in the way your bodies move together, in the way you’ve been molded perfectly for him, and him for you.

You wonder if outside, the stars are shining. And you’re struck thinking that tonight, tonight they’ve aligned for you and him again, the universe agreeing for this second chance between you and him.

So you hold him close, and pray that this time around, forever is waiting for you.

Saturday, September 9th

Jungkook wakes up slowly. Softly, the same way waves hit the shore at low tide. He’s unusually warm, and he frowns as he shifts, trying to turn on his side. Then, he realizes his arm is stuck under something. His very dead arm, and he cracks an eye open.

That’s when he remembers that it’s you. You’re the one sleeping next to him, mouth slightly agape as you breathe softly. You’re also the one crushing his arm, and he tentatively clenches and unclenches his fist to try to get the blood circulation back on track. It doesn’t really work, so then he stops, figuring he’s going to have to make you move somehow.

But you look peaceful, in the light of the rising sun. Serene, like there’s never been anything wrong in this world. This morning, Jungkook wants to believe it. Wants to believe that happiness is all he’s ever known – that accidents, heartbreak and pain are all constructs of his imagination.

He’s too realistic for that. Or perhaps the breakup has made him pessimistic. Because the peace of the moment doesn’t really linger, and he’s stuck reliving the moment you left, that night in May. Stuck reliving the wait for you to come back, only you never did.

Or maybe you did, months later. Maybe you really are back, and this time you’ll stay.

You mumble something in your sleep, startling him. It takes him a few seconds to realize you’re still deep asleep, but when you move he quickly does too, pulling his arm from under your head. You frown, lick your lips, and then your features smooth out as you return to your peaceful slumber.

He turns on his side, watching you carefully. He’s aware that watching you sleep is creepy, but he can’t help it. Not when his bed has been empty for months.

He stays like this for a while, unable to fall back asleep. Because, what if you’re gone when he wakes up again? He doesn’t want to risk it.

Unable to help himself, he gently brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. You sigh, and he’s afraid he’s woken you up. When a small smile appears on your lips, his heart skips a beat, yet you don’t show any other sign that you’re awake. He assumes you aren’t, and then decide to take a picture of this moment.

He feels like he’s going to need it. Like all the pictures he took yesterday – he was desperate to commit to memory as much of you as he possibly could. He feels bad – he said he’d give you a chance, he is giving you a chance, but some part of him is just waiting for it to blow up in his face.

Maybe if he expects it it will hurt less.

He carefully grabs his camera where he left it on his night table. He doesn’t dare take a look at the pictures you took yesterday, a little ashamed that he asked you to do that in the first place. Silently, he takes a picture of you, and then puts the camera away.

Only, the reminder of the kind of pictures he’d find in the camera was enough to make his blood stir, and he picks it back up almost immediately.

And then there you are, in all your glory. Beautiful as ever, pussy filled to the brim with his cum, with his cock. Tits squeezed in your hands, in his, and his dick goes rock hard as blood leaves his head.

He wants you again, and he wants you now. He doesn’t care that it’s early morning, that he never liked waking up early. All he can do is put the camera down and slide closer to you. He pulls you back into his embrace, and you sigh softly as he wraps his arms around you.

Jungkook holds you tighter, nuzzling his face in your hair. The inebriating scent of your shampoo fills his nose, and his dick twitches in his underwear.

You hum, and he holds you tighter. “Morning,” he says, voice low and gravelly.

You make another sound that can pass as a hum, but you move against him, until you’ve wrapped an arm around his middle. There’s a moment where silence reigns again, and Jungkook is afraid you’ve fallen back asleep, but then you say, “Morning.”

He smiles. “Slept well?” he asks, kissing the top of your head.

He’s convinced you’re smiling against him as you say, “Want to sleep more.”

He whines, which earns him a chuckle from you that makes the wariness settle back in, even as his heart feels full in his chest.

It never felt full without you. Another reason why he needs to be ready for the blow, whenever it comes.

“I want you,” he admits. “Can’t sleep.”

You hum again, and your hand slides down his back. You squeeze his ass, and then move the hand back up. “You’re going to have to try.”

He whines, lips jutting out in a pout. “Boring.”

At that you laugh, pushing him slightly until you’re able to look him in the eye. He keeps the pout on, knowing that it always worked with you before.

“It’s not even morning,” you point out.

“The sun is up.”

You roll your eyes, though your lips are curved upwards, your gaze beaming as you hold his. “We fucked twice last night.”

He shrugs, rolling on his back so that he can stare up at the ceiling. He pulls at his piercing, the new one, and then turns his head towards you again. “Yeah, and?”

“Surely you don’t need to fuck right now,” you tease.

He frowns, looking away again. “Not my fault if I haven’t fucked since… May. Last weekend doesn’t count.”

“I’m pretty sure it does,” you say, laughing lightly. You prop yourself up on an elbow, blinking away the tiredness as you meet his gaze again. “And besides,” you pause, features turning confused as a crease appears between your brows. “Haven’t you fucked while we were…” you trail off, motioning vaguely around you.

And then something occurs to Jungkook. Something bad – maybe the explosion was closer than he expected it to be. Maybe he’s been standing in the radius of impact, waiting for the bomb to go off. And maybe your sleep deprived brain forgot the measure of protection, maybe it forgot he was standing there.

Because your eyes go round with fear, right as a drop of lead solidifies in Jungkook’s stomach.

“What?” he lets out.

What a stupid question to ask. He wants to beat himself up, because he knows.

He knows now that you’ve been with someone else. Why else would you be surprised that he hasn’t?

“I’m just saying…” you try, but it’s too late.

The bomb has gone off, and all that’s left is rumbles.

“Get out,” Jungkook says, and somehow it’s lacking bite. It’s lacking anger, lacking any signs that he cares for you.

It surprises even himself – doesn’t he care? Or is there nothing left of him in the aftermath of the explosion?

“Kook.”

“You’ve fucked someone else,” he states. When you don’t say anything, just watch him in horror, he sits up in bed. “Get out.”

“Come on,” you let out this time, following him up. You wrap yourself in the blanket, his blanket, and he wants to rip it from your body. Doesn’t want anything that’s his to be in contact with you anymore. “It didn’t mean anything,” you say, and you’re suddenly blinking back tears. “It was just one-time.”

“Frankly, I don’t want to know,” Jungkook says, and he really doesn’t. Doesn’t want to think about another man’s hand on you, or he’ll break.

He’s done breaking for you.

You don’t fight the tears, as you understand that the end really has come. At least that’s what he thinks happens – you just sit there, gaze heavy with tears until they fall, little droplets that carry a world of regret.

After all, the distance really was enough to break you up, wasn’t it?

Jungkook watches you, surprised that his heart is not clenching in his chest. No, he feels nothing as he watches you – he’s already cried enough for you.

“We were broken up,” you murmur, holding his gaze. “It’s not like I cheated.”

At that he laughs, shaking his head. If you can’t understand that he’s done, that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, then he’ll do it the harsh way.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he says. “I couldn’t be with someone else. I tried, and you were all I could think of. And…”

“You tried!” you interject. “You tried and you’re giving me shit for it?”

He gets up, trying to put distance between you and him, as if that’ll make the fight easier.

“I still chose not to do it,” he coldly states. “The girl was willing, she even kissed me and…”

“You kissed someone else?”

He laughs again, the absurdity of the situation dawning upon him. “Yeah? Tae set me up on a date, and the girl kissed me at the end and I told her I couldn’t. I didn’t fuck someone else.”

The way he’s throwing the blame at you feels selfish, especially as more tears join those already sliding down your cheeks.

“How is that fair, that you’re mad at me when you literally went on a date with someone else?” You pause, choking on a sob as you try to dry your cheeks. “Come on, Kook, it meant nothing.”

“Who did you fuck anyway?” he asks.

For a reason unknown, your tears stop. Entirely, there a moment and gone the next. “Why do you want to know?”

He doesn’t. He doesn’t fucking want to know, and he scoffs as he runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. “Get out,” he says again, still as stern and void of emotion.

“It was Harrison,” you still say. “I switched departments because I didn’t want to see him again after that.”

Now, there’s an inkling of pain tickling the carcass of his dead heart. As if there was still more, for him to feel, even after everything. As if pain is but a constant of his life now, and he thinks maybe it is.

“Your colleague?” he repeats, dumbfounded.

He’s met Harrison a couple of times, throughout your relationship. He’s always thought the guy was decent, but now something very ugly settles deep in his core. Something that tells him, ‘Hey, maybe he’s only ever wanted to fuck her, maybe he was waiting for his chance’.

The words are on a loop in his head, and he doesn’t even think he can see you anymore. All that he sees is Harrison with his hands on you, in his ever-too creative mind.

He startles as you put a hand on his arm. He shrugs your grip off, steps away from you. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Kook, I swear, please listen to me,” you beg, and now you’re crying again.

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to.” At that he shuts his eyes, runs a hand on his forehead and then through his hair. “I really don’t want to. I don’t want you to be here anymore.”

“It didn’t mean anything,” you say, an echo of something you said earlier. Though this time you say it differently, as if you too sensed the finality in Jungkook’s tone.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever want you to be around anymore. He was stupid to give you a chance after you broke his heart – you chose to break up, months ago. Why would it be different this time around?

“It doesn’t matter,” he tells you, as softly as he can. Because he knows you’ll break even more, and some dark, twisted part of him is satisfied that this time, this time he’s the one with all the power over you. “I’m done, Y/n.”

The words sound like thunder, in all their calmness. In all their softness – or maybe that was the sound of your heart breaking. Whatever it was, Jungkook really is done. He wants you gone, wants to be able to break in the quiet peace of his home.

A home you aren’t a part of anymore.

You nod. He expects you to fight more, but you nod. Choke out a sob, turn around, and start putting your clothes on. He figures he should dress too, so he does, picking up discarded items of clothing on the floor, not caring that they probably aren’t clean. All that he cares about is to get you out of his apartment, out of his sight.

And when you’re ready, he walks you to the front door. Lets you say goodbye to Bam, a crushing parallel to the time you’ve said goodbye in May. Bam still looks confused, and Jungkook feels bad, for a moment. Because you were the dog’s mother – he’s been looking for you ever since May. Jungkook can only hope that, this time around, Bam understands that it’s farewell.

When you straighten, you mutter an apology. Jungkook ignores it, holds your gaze expecting something to hurt, but he’s just empty. Empty and tired, and all he wants is to go back to sleep and to never wake up again.

“I can’t let you go,” you let out, voice stark with pain.

He shrugs. “You should have realized that in May.”

You close your eyes, and you look so fragile. Like glass – it never survives the shockwave of an explosion, doesn’t it?

“Please,” you beg. “Let me make it up to you.”

He laughs bitterly. “How? You’re going to go back in time and not get fucked by him? You’re going to go back in time and not break up?”

You look like you want to curse him, and he almost wants you to. He wants you to fight, wants you to make him feel something other than this emptiness. Instead, you shake even more, sobs racking through you.

“I wish I could.”

“Leave.”

“Jungkook, I swear,” you insist. “Let’s not lose each other over this.”

He wets his lips, tongue pushing in the inside of his cheek next. “We’ve lost each other already. It’s time we realize that we have.”

And that does it. You fall silent, defeat washing over you like a tsunami wave – there’s nothing left after its passage, and you look tired, sick, standing there right next to the door.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize again.

He shrugs. “It’s whatever. The past is the past.”

You look like you want to say something else, but somehow you remain silent. Somehow you look at him for a time, bloodshot eyes taking in his features as if it’s the last time you’ll ever see him again. He surprises himself by doing it too, mostly by instinct. Because right now, looking at you makes him want to be sick, but he knows that it won’t last.

He knows that the echo of pain in the distance is a good indicator that he still has it in him to break for you. That he’ll break for you forever, perhaps. Because he doesn’t think that there’s an end to you and him. It’s always going to be a cycle, and it’ll never end well.

“Goodbye, Jungkook,” you murmur.

He offers you a tight-lipped smile. “Goodbye.”

All he can do is hope you know it means farewell.

Thursday, October 5th

You used to love fall. The cooler weather, the long walks that smell like soil and fallen leaves and pumpkins. Nowadays, you hate fall.

You hate it because he loved it, and every reminder of him is poison to you. And though the season is still early, the days are getting shorter, and the longer the night, the more you drown in thoughts.

You haven’t slept in weeks. Have barely eaten too, and you’ve been off from work for a week. It’s allowed you to stay in, to just sit and try to breathe, hoping that it’ll help.

That it’ll fix something that’s never going to be fixed.

You’re lost. Lost in a town that used to be your home, lost in memories that used to be beauty brought to life – now, you’re seeing the ugliness in beauty. Because beauty is temporary, and like all temporary things in life it doesn’t last long enough. Beauty, and the ending temporality of it, leaves nothing when it goes but a bitter taste in mouth.

Perhaps that’s why you haven’t been able to eat properly.

You haven’t spoken to anyone, since the early morning he asked you to leave. Yet for some reason, you’ve felt the need to go outside today. To walk around, aimlessly perhaps, but you couldn’t stay inside a second longer. Too many tears were shed in your apartment, and you hoped the cool weather would help you feel better.

It does, a little. Because you feel like you’re breathing him in every time you inhale, and then carry him out on an exhale. You feel close to him, in a distant way that’s bound to only make you break harder tonight, but right now you can’t bring yourself to care. You do hate the reminders of him, but you need them. Viscerally, as he was the oxygen in your lungs for so long.

You’re going to have to learn how to live without him, one step at a time.

So you take another step, let your instinct carry you where you have to go. Maybe it knows how to heal.

The sun is descending in the sky, and the absence of clouds lead to a sea of azure you’d swim in if you could. You’d soar up high, so high that there isn’t oxygen anymore, and maybe then the pain would cease. You’d ride a sunray into the night, where you’d finally be able to fall into a well-deserved slumber.

As you look up, a tiny bird flies across the sky, a small speck of brown that goes so fast you think you imagine it. Like the years with him – they went by so quickly, the crushing wheel of time spinning down the slope towards the end.

Seven years ago, almost to the day, you kissed him on a hotel roof lost in Chicago, under clouds painted with fire. Who knew seven years later you’d be trying to live without him, clearly failing at it.

You sigh, pushing the thought away as you reach a crossing. You wait for the light to turn green, then follow the parallel white lines across the road. You avoid a pile of leaves, though a strong gust of wind makes some of them swirl around you, spinning like Mother Nature’s tiny dancers.

The foliage in the trees along the street is golden and red, bright colours that look out of place in the bleakness of your heart. You follow them, wonder if they know that they are about to die. The answer is one you’ll never have, and so you walk under the trees, the autumn breeze playing with your hair.

You don’t know where your steps have been carrying you. You’ve long gone past the places you usually go to, heading towards the middle of the city. The no man’s land between you and Jungkook, spread wide in a maze of streets you want to get lost in.

So you do. You press on, walk until the sun becomes a ball of melted gold nearing the horizon, and it’s on the corner of a street that a glint in a vitrine catches your eyes.

You eye the rings, crafted by an expert hand. Bands of gold, with diamonds and emeralds and gems you don’t know the name of. They look expensive, elegant, and you wonder if you would have had a ring on your finger one day, bought by him.

Recklessly, you walk into the shop, wishing to peruse its vitrines, hoping they’ll offer you dreams to survive the night. And you can almost see it – a ring on your finger, a proposal under a star-sprinkled sky, an intimate wedding for you and him. A dance, always and forever, of love shared like a secret in the night. Your secret, as the end would have one day come for you and him, an eternity of life later. You would have been old and grey, yet your love would have been young and eternal.

In this dream, he would have never taken the job overseas. You’d have stayed here, together, growing old by his side. You would have gotten more dogs, maybe even a cat, and you’d have lived happily ever after.

You wonder if, in a parallel universe to yours, the dream is unfolding. If parallel-universe you has the chance to experience it, and you think she does. You think she does, and the love is so strong it’s shaking through universes, picking you up like you’re just a leaf in an autumn wind.

Because why else, then, do you find yourself buying a gold band? Too big for you, masculine in its simplicity. Something you think he would have worn, had you been in that other universe.

You sit on a bench outside, after, as the last of the sunlight finally fades away, replaced by a blue dusk that matches your mood far better than the sun ever could. You have no idea where you are in the city, no will to brave the trek back home – you’ve been out for hours at this point.

You grab your phone, long forgotten in your purse. You haven’t touched it all day, and to your surprise you’ve received a couple of texts while you were walking, all by the same person.

[04:37 pm] Jimin: hey, this is going to sound crazy [04:37 pm] Jimin: and I’m really sorry to be telling u this [04:37 pm] Jimin: can u go check on JK? [04:38 pm] Jimin: he’s been unreachable for days and at this point I think he’ll only talk to u

You want to text him back to fuck off, to leave you alone, yet you hold on tighter to the velvety box in which the gold band hides. After all, even if you’ve received the texts hours ago, you’re realizing perhaps that that’s where your steps have been leading you anyway.

It’s stupid – he asked you to leave. Hasn’t contacted you once since then, and it’s like the wedding and the week after never happened. Like you’ve been broken up for months, like you barely know him anymore. He’s a stranger now, in your life, something you’d never thought he’d become someday.

And why would he talk to you? Why would he want you in his vicinity, when he made it clear as spring water that he was done, that the end had come to pass between you and him?

But if the end has come, why is that you’ve been feeling like you’re surrounded by him, today? Like you’ll always be – just a drop of water in the sea of him. Perhaps you are weak, to feel for him the way that you do, but seven years ago, the cataclysm that started you and him shook you, and its repercussions are still felt today. Will be felt until your dying breath, until all that’s left of you is stardust.

So you let your feet carry you, weightless in the way that you’re moving forward. Like you are once again but a leaf carried by the wind, and you can only hope that it’ll let you land in the right place.

You don’t really know how you make it to his building. Perhaps you were closer than you initially thought you were – all that you know is that you recognize the building, and that you sense his proximity through the walls.

Your heart reaches for him, longs for him in a way you can’t ignore anymore. Because you’ve been dead, without him. Just a shell of what you should be, of what you want to be. Because yes, you could learn to live without him. After everything that you’ve been through, you know well enough that you are strong enough to do it.

But you don’t want it. You want that dream you’ve found in the jewelry shop, want to make it possible. Want to prove that, no matter who would ever get close to you, he’ll always be the owner of your heart.

So you walk in. Reach the elevator, press on the call button. Then on the fourth floor, reminiscing the night you rode the elevator in his company, right before the fall. The new fall, a harshest one that made you reach those low levels of hell that living without him are consisted of.

You awaken when you are standing in front of his door. You think you can almost hear him inside, moving around through his home. You wonder if he can hear your heartbeat, where you’re standing. If he too can tell that you’re nearby once again, even though you shouldn’t have been.

Even though farewells have come to pass between you and him.

You don’t knock. You don’t have to. To your surprise, the door opens in front of you, slowly, before you’ve even managed to raise your arm to knock. Then his voice fills your ear, as he tells Bam to wait. You just stand there, dumbfounded, and then his eyes move from the floor to your face, and his mouth falls open.

Bam jumps on you, tail wagging wildly as you take a step back from the force of impact. You pet him on the head, pushing him back to the floor as you try to focus on Jungkook.

And then it dawns upon you that you have no clue what to tell him. You reckon you maybe should have prepared something in advance, because you’re wordless standing in front of him.

“Hey,” you eventually say, and you think the world has time to revolve around the sun three times before you manage to say something else. “How are you?”

His mouth slowly shuts, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. He pulls on Bam’s leash, tells the dog to sit, before he finally addresses you. Just your name, and the way he says it make it sound formal, like you’re just a stranger.

“What are you doing here?” he asks after another moment.

You look down at your hands. At the box you’re holding, and his eyes follow after you. “I was thinking of you, today,” you admit.

He sighs, and his eyes shut. “You were?”

You nod as he meets your gaze again. “When am I not?” Your comment doesn’t ask for a response, and he doesn’t offer you one either. “Jimin told me you’ve been unreachable.”

“Yeah,” he lets out. “I’ve been busy.”

“Oh.” You try to look behind him, as if you’ll find his reason to be busy there. “Can I talk to you?”

He says your name, this time like an apology. “I told you we were done.”

You shrug. “I know.” You gulp, fingers playing with the velvet box as if it’ll help ground you. “Can I walk Bam with you, then?”

He looks conflicted but he gives in. Says yes in a defeated way that rips your heart from your chest, in a way that makes you cling to the ring box even more, hoping that it’ll offer you salvation.

Being outside in the early fall evening with him feels like the Earth has finally returned to its normal axis. You don’t say anything, unable to find the words, and he remains silent too. You just enjoy his company, watching over Bam as he sniffs at plants before peeing on a pole.

Stars are twinkling in the sky up above. The breeze is still soft tonight, caressing your features in a gentle embrace that resembles the one he’d used to offer you, though it’s far colder than his. You spare a glance at him – he’s already looking, and he doesn’t look away as your gazes connect.

“What are you doing here?” he asks again.

You wet your lips. “I don’t know,” you admit. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

“How is that an explanation?” A shrug of your shoulders is all the answer he gets. He scoffs, shakes his head slightly, and then his head turns toward the door of his building. “I have hot chocolate inside,” he tells you, once again sounding defeated. “Do you want a cup?”

Turns out salvation wasn’t to be found in the velvet box you’re holding, but in the gentle angles of Jungkook’s features, behind his big doe eyes that will forever feel like home to you.

“I don’t want to intrude,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just wanted to… talk.”

“Then let’s talk over a cup of hot chocolate,” he says.

Which is what you do. You follow him in, feeling like you’re out of place in his life. Like he’s only giving this to you because of what you used to be to one another. Yet you don’t care. You’re slowly finding words, your brain shaping them into sentences to change an ending you can’t come to terms with.

Jungkook prepares the hot chocolate in silence, as you sit at his small dinner table. You play with Bam as he does so, a game of tug-of-war that you’re bound to lose as the dog is far stronger than you. Yet you still indulge, as you’ve missed Bam far more than you even thought possible.

The game is only interrupted when Jungkook rests a cup of steaming hot chocolate on the table next to you. You let Bam go, and the dog trots away to go play somewhere else, you can only assume.

“What did you want to talk about?”

You’ve left the ring box on the table. You’ve noticed Jungkook glancing at it repeatedly since you’ve put it there, and you worry at your bottom lip.

“I wanted to apologize again, for what it’s worth,” you answer. “I felt horrible when it happened, and just wanted to forget all about it.”

His features turn harsh, and his eyes drop into the cup of hot chocolate he’s nursing for himself. It reminds you of a café, of a conversation you had years ago, that led to you opening up to him, and to him opening up to you.

“I love you,” you continue. “I haven’t stopped loving you, and if I’d known that breaking up would hurt so much, I would’ve fought harder. I wish I had, and I wish I’d never let you go.”

“But you did…” he says when you remain silent for a few seconds.

“But I did. And I understand if you hate me for it. If you don’t want to ever see me again. But shit, you’re the only thing that I’ve been able to think about. Just you, and everything that could have been, had I been stronger.”

You grab the cup of hot chocolate, the warmth of it slowly seeping through your cold fingers. For the next few minutes, you don’t say anything, and neither does he. You just drink the hot chocolate, hoping you’ll find more words to say at the bottom of the cup.

“The distance was hard,” Jungkook eventually says. “I don’t blame you for wanting to end things over it.”

It surprises you. Makes your brain go entirely empty, and you just watch him with wide eyes for a few seconds.

He shrugs as you don’t say anything. “What?” He looks down, tongue darting out to play with his piercings. “I’ve been thinking about everything too.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. “I over-reacted, when you told me you had sex with Harrison,” he admits.

Totally not expecting the conversation to take this turn, you’re stunned silent.

“I was shocked, and needed time to process,” he continues. “You were right, the fact that I went on a full-on date is just as bad, differently. We were broken up, we didn’t owe each other anything.”

As much as it pains you to agree, you still do, nodding your head. “We didn’t.”

He purses his lips, holds your gaze for a few seconds before glancing down at his cup. The silence is more comfortable now, as you think maybe, maybe then the dream you’ve dreamed about isn’t just a distant mirage of what could have once been. It’s foolish, but you can’t help it.

You think your heart is beating for the first time since you left that morning weeks ago.

“Did you want to speak about anything else?” he asks after he’s taken a long sip of his hot chocolate.

You take a deep breath, and somehow courage finds you on the long exhale. “I don’t want us to be over.”

You think you hear him gulp. “You don’t?”

Blinking away a few tears, you shake your head no. “I really don’t. I walked around all day today, and all I could think about was you. All I could think of was all the years between us, from when we met to a few weeks ago. And I don’t know, I refuse to accept that the end has come.”

“When does it come, then?” he asks.

“When the end comes?”

He nods.

“After years and years,” you say, allowing yourself to voice your dream. “Hopefully after we’ve had years to live together. After we’ve gotten married, and maybe even after we’ve had kids. Not that I want some.” You pause, and you look down at the table, unable to carry the weight of his gaze anymore. “Or maybe after we’ve had plenty of dogs, a cat or two. After we’ve had a house with a white picket fence, after we’ve danced under a thousand different night skies.” A tear rolls on your cheek, and you do nothing to stop it. “After we’ve travelled the world together, after we’ve had a chance to live, together.”

“And what happens after we’ve lived together?” he presses.

You shrug. “Then we die together. Then we turn into stardust and memories. I don’t care. As long as it’s with you, I don’t care what happens to me.”

Blurry behind the wall of tears in your eyes, you see Jungkook run a hand through his hair. “You don’t?”

“I don’t,” you echo. “I just want to get to love you.”

At that you do cry. And not just a little bit. Your heart longs and yearns for him, reaching in the space between you, trying to find a beat to sync with. You wipe your cheeks dry with trembling hands, before pressing the heel of your palms on your eyes, hoping to stop the cascade at the source.

“It’s a nice dream,” Jungkook says after the few minutes it takes you to collect yourself, your hands falling to the table.

“Is it?”

He nods. “Yeah. I don’t think we’d do a white picket fence though. I’ve always found cedar trees make a better fence.”

Something stirs inside of you, and you want to take a hold of him, and to never let go. “Yeah?”

He sits back in the chair, looks up to the ceiling as he blinks away the silver in his own gaze. You wonder if he’s crying because he saw you cry, as the sympathetic crier that he is, or because he shares the emotions in your heart.

“Where would you want to get married?” he asks then.

You push the velvet box towards him. “This is for you.”

He doesn’t acknowledge this, instead repeating the question.

“Somewhere in the countryside,” you answer. “Maybe the cottage where it all started.” You think about Julys of a world ago. “Under the night sky.”

“People don’t usually get married when it’s already dark.”

“Right,” you let out. “Then we’d have a ceremony for just us two when it’s dark outside.”

At that he grabs the box, opening it. You reckon he must have known what the content was, because he doesn’t say anything as he takes it out. As he tries to put it on his finger, though it doesn’t fit. It’s too tight, and it makes him chuckle, a sad sound that almost kills you on the spot.

“Do you think we’d dance under the stars?” he asks as he turns the gold band in his fingers, and light glimmers on it.

“Yes,” you say, nodding your head. “We always would.”

“So you came all the way here to tell me this?”

He meets your gaze again, for the first time in a while. He looks struck with emotion, much like you feel – the depths of his eyes are swirling with love and ache and yearning. You fall forward, fall in his eyes, trying to find home again.

“I came here to ask you to marry me,” you finally say, as it dawns upon you that, yes, your steps were leading you to this all along. “Jungkook, will you marry me?”

He smiles, a world of sadness etched in the sweet curve of his lips. “Can it be this easy?”

You shut your eyes. “It can. Please. Let’s not lose what we have again.”

“When would you like to get married?” he asks.

“Are you saying yes?”

He plays with his piercing, takes a deep breath as he chases tears away from his gaze but to no avail. You watch the two drops as they slowly roll down his face. “When would you like to get married?”

“In July,” you answer easily.

“Next year?”

You nod.

He holds your gaze for a few seconds more, then looks at the gold band again. His fist closes around it, slowly, as if he’ll be able to crush it in his hold. For what you don’t know. All that you know is that his features grow tortured, pained. It doesn’t last long – another deep breath later the expression is gone.

“I need to tell you something,” he says then, his voice so small you can barely hear it.

You prepare yourself. As well as you can, expecting the blow before it comes. You sense it – in the eternity it takes for him to speak again, you see every moment of you and him before this day, your life flashing before your eyes as if you’re about to die.

And then he says it a first time. At first you don’t even understand the words, as if he’s speaking a foreign language. So you let out, “What?”, hoping that it will change the cruelty that this world holds.

But nothing can, after the end has come. Nothing, especially not as he repeats the words, softly, their meaning tainting the dream you’ve just painted with him, until all that’s left of it is a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

“I’m permanently moving to South Korea.”

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I'm sorry for the angst, for the cliffhanger, for them to be so stubborn and for how life is working against them now. I hope you don't hate me too much after this :') let me know what you think of this chapter!

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