#i am struggling some as a little esp as i regressed very easily around them.
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been texting my parents all day
#still feel like my parents don't love me lol#i am struggling some as a little esp as i regressed very easily around them.#now all i want to do is make them love me again#but like idk how to do that bc I'm never letting go of my love for my son and my hatred for his biomom#and i just feel so entitled#and inherently i feel like the language barrier is just growing stronger and stronger every day#so like now i just feel like im going to be the disowned estranged daughter#which. fair#very reasonable i guess#whatever#idk how to feel like living in visibility to my family is that worth it anymore. like what if i just never spoke to them ever again#i just wish i had... anyone. wish i had a mom or a dad that wasn't me and i wish i could feel loved without having to explain myself always#i hate that every fight is about my boy it's about him always and i just want to cry#i dont want to *be*. it's embarrassing enough to live and breathe and be. i feel like i should just die
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