#i am so sorry about her Ldgsdgsdg and... i'm so sorry about the length omfg. please don't feel like you need to match at all she just...tha

[cursivebloodlines]

"I know. I know, me too," Zoe responded earnestly, running a hand through his hair comfortingly. She was taken aback by the question, even if she should have seen it coming, really. Letting her hand fall down then, she deeply considered her next response. Of course, she was all 'we should talk things out' until the conversation topic reverted back to her. It was a completely normal thing for him to ask and deep down, Zoe knew she could tell Eric anything. But what good would it do in the end? It wouldn't change what's already been done. And to top it all off, he was already not in the best of places, his mind reeling with a lot. Dumping all of her crap on him was a cruel thing to burden him with. That's what she told herself anyway, to make herself feel better about avoiding talking about it. "It means... exactly that," she said, plain and simple, as though she was saying something obvious such as 'the sky is blue'. Not meeting his eyes as she spoke, though. A momentary silence settled then, and Zoe fidgeted a little, taking a moment to clear her throat before peering back at him with apprehension. "It doesn't matter anymore. Besides, we're meant to be focusing on you. Aren't we?" She added, a hint of a smile tracing her lips, a silent plea to just... take her word for it. Hoping he would take it for now. As far as she was concerned, there was a time and a place for this and that wasn't here and now. (In her case, usually, the time was never and the place was nowhere... but Eric didn't need to know that.

The whole situation was a mess. She knew that. It would take a toll on any normal person, that was for sure. But as she liked to remind herself - and him - that they had each other. They were in this together. Completely. All in. And that was enough. "Fine, fineee, you're right," she surrendered with a quiet laugh. Unlike her to be caving in so easily but he did have a point. Even as much as she hated to admit it, she did like reassurance. A lot. Especially when she knew it was authentic; from him. Zoe was just...not the best at communicating when she needed that. A simple act may have solved a lot of problems in the past if she just asked for what she needed whenever she needed it.

But that was her fatal flaw in the end. She wasn't good at asking. Instead, she excelled at jumping to conclusions in her own warped, damaged mind; always convincing herself people thought the worst of her when all she was trying to do was survive and exist and make it through life one day at a time. And getting defensive because of it.

"I can't be the only one who thinks that. I know I'm not. Besides, you're not a mind reader! How can you possibly know whether or not everyone else thinks you're crazy? Over seven billion people on this planet... that's a lot of people who think you're crazy..." Zoe retorted, another laugh escaping her, stroking his cheek lovingly, just appreciating this quiet moment.

Until of course, she did was she always did best -- ruin the moment. In that reckless brain of hers, the small jokes never lasted for long. Maybe it was a consequence of everything. It was a lot to grasp her mind around, and at that moment she was completely torn. Torn between wanting to get out and being in the open. The fact Eric even suggested it, a road trip, meant everything to her. It was all she wanted - for fresh air, to breathe. But now it was like a switch has been flicked, changing her mind within an instant because she once again was assuming the worst. Assuming that Eric (Eric!! Of all people!!) would purposely say something to hurt her. About to storm out of the room, it was his words that stopped her in her tracks. Was he being for real? Or was he acting clueless on purpose to rile her up even more? That didn't sound right in the slightest. Other people, maybe. But not him. Either way, it was simply impossible for her to calm her short fuse.

Zoe whipped around to face him, not having realised he was standing directly behind her. "What's wrong? What's wrong?! Really I- ugh!" She huffed in frustration, taking a step back to create a bit more space between them. "This isn't about the road trip or the stupid fucking pizza!" The words were flying out a mile a minute, unable to restrain herself. "Why did you have to say it like that? Before I run off?" Zoe said the latter part in a pathetic attempt at impersonating him, his voice, flinging her hands around imitating air quotes. "Before I run off... again. Like...like before." She paused then, giving herself a second to try and swallow the lump forming in her throat, her voice starting to waver. "I thought we were past that by now. Or are you just going to keep reminding me of that one mistake and rub it in my face for the rest of our lives? Have I got to spend my whole life making up for it?!"

Eric listened attentively, and her words dripped with sincerity. He couldn't help but believe her. Part of him wanted to protest, be realistic once more, but he was exhausted. He just didn't have the energy to fight it. Stil, his curiosity was piqued. What did she mean by that, that she'd dealt with much worse? "I believe you, I feel better just with you around." He debated asking, was this the right time? There might not be another time though. "What does that mean, that you've dealt with much worse?"

A small smile came quickly to his lips as she leaned into his touch. Seeing her like this was breaking his heart. This is when he saw just how bad things have gotten, how much this situation had placed on them. "Don't lie to me, we both need reassurance...we're navigating a lot." His hands still cupping her face, Eric leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Only you think I'm not crazy," he almost teased, his forehead leaning against hers. He hoped his plan was good, it was a start and if this outing went well, hopefully they could find other times to step outside. The last thing he wanted to do was keep her captive.

Eric couldn't help but notice the lack of reaction at the mention of his parents. Sure, it was a complicated relationship, but the bond still had to mean something. He wondered if her relationship with her parents had been more complex. It was embarrassing to admit that he didn't know much about them. If he was remembering correctly, Zoe had once mentioned they both passed. Perhaps, he should consider that - letting his parents metaphorically die. He had done it some time ago, but situations like these, where their lives were at risk...it made it impossible to ignore. "Yes, that's what I needed to hear...thank you love."

Her smile faded and his mind quickly came up with possible answers, why the change in attitude. Was it the road trip mention, she didn't want to go with him? It was a big ask after all. Asking her to leave everything, just for him. His own smile left his lips, "what's wrong? Did I say something? We don't...we don't have to go. It is a big ask, I don't know what I was thinking." Eric quickly stood up, right behind her. It was a matter of time, that he'd say something and upset her. But he didn't think that his suggestion was the thing to do it. Eric couldn't help but feel heartache. "Hey, come on..what's wrong? We can forget it, the whole roadtrip thing. I will figure something else out. Everything was okay..what about the pizza?"