#i am so sick rn but i rise from my cave to bring you this offering to our friendship

[shou-jpeg]

Kim bought him a not-stolen one from the nursery a few days later.

Happy birthday @wildelydawn! Part 15 of ?

[peachithings]

Fix You

title: fix you

pairing: jackson wang x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warning/s: mentions of heartbreak, cheating, depressing thoughts in reader’s mind

word count: 2.3k

prompt: what happens when a certain jackson wang comes crashing into your life amidst your darkest days? will his bright personality be enough to pull you out from the dark?

a/n: italicized sentences, phrases, words are y/n’s thoughts.

twenty-twenty is coming to an end yet it only brought you pain and misery.

why? why did twenty-twenty only bring me all of these stuff? the stuff that only made me crawl deeper into my dark world. have i done wrong things in my past life that it had suddenly caught up with me and decided to haunt me in this life?

you had all these thoughts. thoughts that did not seem to have an end. thoughts that has gotten to you and has put you in your own misery on loop.

it all started as soon as twenty-twenty arrived.

-

it was the annual new year’s eve party with your friends and you decided to invite your boyfriend at the time to the party. in the early hours of the party, everything was going great. you were happy with  both your friends and with the love of your life, or so you thought.

midnight was fast approaching and you were trying to find your so-called boyfriend; looking everywhere while the clock struck twelve and everyone around you shouting “Happy New Year” and jumping for joy, your world seemed to suddenly stop when you saw your boyfriend making out with another girl who is obviously not you. you slowly walk through the sea of people hoping and praying that it was the alcohol in your system that led you to this illusion. but unfortunately, it was not. heck! you were not even close to being drunk. when you were close enough to the two bodies intimately intertwined, your eyes tearing up and mind was definitely not deceiving you.

“in yeop?!” you shouted while tears threaten to spill from your eyes.

he looked at you and was stunned to see you. 

“babe? I can explain...” He replied in panic. 

not needing to hear anything from him, you stormed out of the party with tears streaming down your face. he was quick to leave the woman he was with earlier and rushed to follow you.

he caught up with you and held you on your wrist. “babe...” he said.

cringing to his word, you quickly freed your wrist from his touch. “don’t you dare ‘babe’ me.” you said angrily. “you have no right anymore.” you added.

“____, please. don’t do this. i’m sorry.” 

“sorry?!” you snapped. “do you think your ‘sorry’ could fix anything?” you added. 

“let’s end this, in yeop.” you sighed.

he sighed. without a word he turned around and left.

wow?! really? just like that? he left. he didn’t even put up a fight. he didn’t even fight for me and our relationship?

what’s wrong with me? am i not enough?

am i not worth the fight? was i ever worth it?

and that moment was the start. it was the start of your negative and toxic thoughts creeping to your head.

-

a few days after that incident, your friends had urged you to join them for lunch out. at first, you were hesitant to go out with them since it had only been days since you broke up with your ex. but knowing your friends, they won’t take no for an answer from you so instead, you decided to go without a fight.

your friends had messaged you for the location of the restaurant and when you arrived you spotted your group of friends already at the table but there was one person who you are unfamiliar with. 

when you got to the table, you greeted everyone with a smile, “hi, everyone!” 

They all turned their attention to you and greeted you back.

“oh, ____! this is jackson.” yugyeom said. “jackson, ______.” he added.

you gave him a warm smile and said, “nice to meet you.”

“nice to meet you too.” jackson replied and returned your warm smile.

you then proceeded to the seat unoccupied just next to jackson. and the lunch began. they caught up with each other and with each passing minute, you got to know jackson and got along with him too.

truth be told, you’ve never welcomed just anyone to be in your circle. it had always been yugyeom, jinyoung, mark, jaebeom, youngjae, bambam and you. sure you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends but you knew very well that they don’t last long. but with your ex boyfriend, in yeop, it was different at least it was for you. you’ve never fell that fast and that hard for any of your past lovers. 

it must have been jackson’s bright personality that made you welcome him smoothly into your little circle. or maybe the way he smiled all throughout lunch. or maybe because he kept mood of the lunch so light and happy making all those funny remarks and stories that he shared here and there. 

deep down you knew it was all of those traits that made you welcome him. you were drawn to his bright personality like it was your lighthouse guiding you to the right path in your dark world.

at the end of your lunch out with friends, you and jackson exchanged numbers.

this jackson guy looks like he’s a good guy. 

he made me laugh every chance he got. 

his personality is so bright that he’s like a lighthouse that suddenly went in my world to guide me out of my dark world.

but will he be able to handle all my demons?

what if he doesn’t want a friend that could be a burden to him?

what if he ran away too just like everyone else before him?

that night, your mind had started yet another turmoil in your little head. thoughts have started to run through your head again.

jackson is just a new addition to your circle and yet your mind had already started to overthink every little thing.

just like any other times, you couldn’t stop your thoughts from making all these unnecessary assumptions. so you just laid there on your bed until you fell asleep.

-

the next few months were like hell since it was peak season. working as a front desk manager at a five star hotel has been very demanding lately with welcome amenities for the hotel’s VIPs arriving the next week were getting rushed to be finalized by your department so that it could be evaluated by the kitchen department before week ends and it was stressing the hell out of you but you still continued to do your job until you heard your phone’s notification bell indicating that you have new messages that came through. you smiled when you read that the messages were from jackson.

jackson: hey

jackson: how are you?

jackson:  just wandering of you’d want to hang on fri?

you checked the notifications and thought it was cute that he’s checking up on you and asking to hang out. you thought he was cute. you quickly replied to his messages and put your phone inside your coat’s inside pocket and went back to work.

me: hey

me: i’m doing good, just packed with work rn and u?

me: fri? sounds good, send me the deets

you heard your phone dinged yet again and thought it was jackson texting you the details for friday and thought that you’ll just read them once you’re out from work.

-

the last few hours of work were excruciating and drained you. but nonetheless, you were so happy work’s over!

you quickly whipped out your phone from your bag to read the messages that you thought were from jackson but you were shocked when you saw who it was from.

it was from your ex, the ex that cheated on you during new year’s eve. and you immediately had a pang in your chest like the pain you felt a few months ago were back again and you’re to square one.

in yeop: hey y/n

in yeop: are you home?

in yeop: i’m in front of your building

for you, the thing with in yeop is that you just can’t seem to let him go thus, why you can’t get over him. that even after the incident you still missed him.

i was doing just fine without you. i mean i do miss you from time to time but it’s only normal to miss someone you loved right?

why can’t i move on from you and be happy?

why do you have to come back and haunt me?

the thoughts were starting yet again. you decided it was best to go home since you were so tired from work and replied to in yeop.

me: hey

me: just got out from work, i’ll be home in a few

me: why?

you locked back your phone and headed home. your body wanted nothing more that to hit the hay and call it a night.

in yeop: nothing

in yeop: i just missed you

in yeop: i miss you y/n

and just like that, you were coming back to him.

-

the days went by far too fast for your liking and it was suddenly thursday night.

after that night with in yeop, he never called or messaged you back. he ghosted you and as soon as you realized it, thoughts flooded through your head again. and just like any other days, it wouldn’t stop.

i’m so disgusting.

i let him use me. i let him use me like a slut that i am.

why? why did i even caved in?

i’m so stupid.

i feel so dirty.

i just want everything to stop.

i want it to end, i want the pain to end.

it also didn’t help that you just lurked on in yeop’s instagram and saw that he already has a girlfriend. it made you sick.

you decided it would be best to file in a sick leave for tomorrow.

your thoughts didn’t let you sleep. you cried every pain you felt but it still didn’t get better. you cried like there was no tomorrow.

the morning came, the sun was rising and that’s when you felt all the exhaustion from crying your eyes out. you passed out.

-

you woke up in an unfamiliar place.

you hear some kind of a monitor and you slowly opened up your eyes.

“hey, how are you?” he said. 

the voice you recognized to be jackson’s.

when your eyes were fully adjusted, you recognized the room to be at a hospital.

“why am i here?” you questioned. “aren’t we supposed to hang out later?” you added.

“yeah, about that.” jackson started. 

“i know we were supposed to meet up at the arcade but i really wanted to pick you up from your apartment so i went there earlier to surprise you.” he added.

“but i continuously ringing your doorbell and your phone. you weren’t picking up so phoned gyeom asking if anyone knew your whereabouts. but gyeom didn’t know either and told me you filed a sick leave at work.” he continued.

“so basically, he just gave me the passcode to your apartment so that i could check if you were in and i saw you on your couch.”

“i tried to wake you up but you weren’t waking up. checked your pulse and it was faint so i called an ambulance.”

“the doctor’s said that you were over-fatigued.” he frowned.

“don’t frown at me, jackson.” you pouted.

“how can i not? i was so worried.” he responded.

“you..” you started. “you were worried? about me?” you asked.

“i was hella worried. you didn’t wake up for a full day.” he pouted.

“and i know this is not a great situation to say this.” he started. “i initially intended to say this to you after our hang out. but for some obvious reason, it was postponed. and i really need this to get it off my chest already.” he rambled.

he took a deep breath and said, “y/n, i like you. like, i like like you.”

“like, i want to date you kind of ‘i like you’. y’know?”

you smiled at him. you thought it was really cute. you thought he was cute for getting nervous confessing to you.

“really? you like me in that way?” you intrigued.

“yes, i do.” he smiled. “as cheesy as it may sound, that day, during our lunch. the first time we met, i was already drawn to you.”

you felt a sudden surge of heat on cheeks.

“you’re cute when you blush.” jackson complimented.

-

jackson took care of you that day at the hospital. he listened to your needs.

you didn’t realize it at first but it was the first time in a long time that your mind did not think of any negative thoughts.

for the first time in a long time, you were smiling and laughing genuinely.

jackson noticed.

“wow, that smile and laugh was different.” he said.

“it was a lot different from the first time we met.”

you didn’t know how but he noticed. he noticed something that no one has ever noticed before.

“i...” you started.

“you can tell me when you’re ready.” jackson interrupted.

“for now, i’ll do my very best to be here for you. to make you feel safe.” he added.

“i will never leave. i’ll stay for as long as you want and need me to.”

“i’ll be here to listen to you, i can be your human diary if you need me to.”

“and i will try to fix you.”

it made you tear up. your heart was fluttering. your heart was full and it felt great.

twenty-twenty was only half way through and jackson was the one thing that you were grateful to have come crashing into your life.

“i know you said that i can tell you when i’m ready.” you said. “and i’m ready now.”

“i don’t want to hide anything from you.”

“i want you to stay with me, while i fix myself.”

and from that moment forward, it was start of something new.

-

A/N: Thank you for reading! If you happen to like my work, you can support me by buying me coffee hehe

Also, you can send me requests, your thoughts and opinions here

[cantbehandled-ever]

thanks @satans-helper for tagging me in this get to know me tag! i’ve never done one this long, so here’s a bunch of info that no one wanted to know about me lmao

1. What’s your middle name?

- Lynn, which i hateee

2. how old are you?

- 19

3. when is your birthday?

- november 17th

4. what is your zodiac sign?

- scorpio sun, libra rising, pisces moon. i have two fucking water signs which explains why i’m so emotional

5. what’s your favorite shade of green?

- forest/emerald green

6. what’s your lucky number?

- 8

7. do you have any pets?

- yes! i have three dogs and i’d die for them

8. where are you from?

- originally chicago, but now i live in orlando

9. how tall are you?

- 5’9

10. what shoe size are you?

- 10 in women’s, 8.5 in men’s

11. how many pairs of shoes do you own?

- 10

12. what was your last dream about?

- i dreamt that i ran off to live in a cave and raised goldfish as my past time, so i’m really jealous that i didn’t actually do that

13. what talents do you have?

- i can bs my way through stuff, because if i really need to, i can come off as decently eloquent. also i can sing kinda well, nothing amazing

14. are you psychic in any way?

- i’ve had dreams that ended up happening exactly like i dreamed them

15. favorite song?

- i could not tell you, but lately i’ve been listening to Second Hand News by Fleetwood Mac several times a day

16. Favorite movie?

- the sixth sense (i just really like m. night shyamalan movies)

17. who would be our ideal partner?

- someone with a great sense of humor and i’m pretty anxious, so someone who is good at keeping calm

18. do you want children?

- nope lmao, but i do want to be an aunt. i like kids, but like only when i can give them back to their parents when i get tired of them lol

19. do you want a church wedding?

- not really, if i did end up having one, it would be bc the building was beautiful it would have nothing to do with it being a church

20. are you religious?

- no, long and sad history with religion. i do consider myself to be pretty spiritual and learning more about stuff like that is really interesting to me

21. have you ever been to a hospital?

- yep, last year over spring break i had to get my gallbladder removed:)))))))) my surgeon took pics of my gallbladder though and it’s super sick and gross looking so at least i have that

22. have you ever gotten into trouble with the law?

- nope

23. have you ever met any celebrities?

- i met andy mientus, but he’s not like a huge celebrity

24. baths or showers?

- showers, baths are gross

25. what color socks are you wearing?

- white and purple

26. have you ever been famous?

- not really, but when i was in fifth grade i submitted a poem i wrote to a publishing company and they put it into a book, so my elementary school made a big deal out of it, so i was like a local celebrity amongst ten year olds for a week lol

27. would you like to be a big celebrity?

- only if it was for music, because that’s the only way i could see myself being happy with it. however, i’d much rather just have my own niche audience and be super personal with them, but still make enough money that i could afford to have that be my only career

28. what type of music do you like?

- mainly rock and funkier music, but i can pretty much listen to anything

29. have you ever been skinny dipping?

- no, because i hate my body lol

30. how many pillows do you sleep with?

- 4

31. what position do you usually sleep in?

- i’m a stomach sleeper

32. how big is your house?

- i live in a tiny apartment

33. what do you typically have for breakfast?

- usually just coffee, but sometimes i’ll have a breakfast bar

34. have you ever fired a gun?

- yes and i hated it, it’s way too scary to hold something like that

35. have you ever tried archery?

- yeah! we had it as a unit in my middle school gym class and i wasn’t super horrible at it!

36. favorite clean word?

- indubitably

37. favorite swear word?

- it’s more of a statement but i say “fuck off” all the time

38. what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

- 29 when i was studying for finals last year

39. do you have any scars?

- several

40. have you ever had a secret admirer?

- yeah when i was seven

41. are you a good liar?

- when i need to be

42. are you a good judge of character?

- no i try to let everyone prove themselves, but mainly just makes me feel dumb when they screw me over

43. can you do any other accents other than your own?

- i don’t really have a midwestern accent anymore, but i can do one to make fun of my family members

44. do you have a strong accent?

- no

45. what’s your favorite accents?

- south african

46. what’s your personality type?

- advocate

47. what’s your most expensive piece of clothing?

- my doc martens were like $135 and i treat them like babies

48. can you curl your tongue?

- yep

49. are you an innie or an outie?

- bellybutton??? an innie but that’s super weird

50. left or right handed?

- right handed

51. are you scared of spiders?

- oh absolutely

52. favorite food?

- sushi

53. favorite foreign food?

- sushi or mexican food

54. are you a clean or messy person?

- both, i keep my room super messy, but any area of the apartment that i share with other people i keep spotless

55. most used phrase?

- “oh absolutely”

56. most used word?

- fuck

57. how long does it take you to get ready?

- roughly about an hour and 15 minutes

58. do you have much of an ego?

- depends, but in general i wouldn’t say so

59. do you suck or bite lollipops?

- suck

60. do you talk to yourself?

- who doesn’t?????

61. do you sing to yourself?

- all the time

62. are you good singer?

- i’m fine, nothing impressive

63. biggest fear?

- being kidnapped and also i’m really afraid of strange men, i can’t bring myself to trust both of them

64. are you a gossip?

- to my roommates

65. best dramatic movie you’ve ever seen?

- i really don’t know, i don’t watch a ton of dramas, mainly comedy

66. do you like long or short hair?

- on girls i like both, on guys i prefer long

67. can you name all 50 states in america?

- yeah if you gave me a few minutes

68. favorite school subject?

- biology

69. extrovert or introvert?

- introvert

70. have you ever been scuba diving?

- nope

71. what makes you nervous?

- i have anxiety :)))) so everything

72. are you scared of the dark?

- only if i’m in a strange place

73. do you correct people when they make mistakes?

- depends on my relationship with them

74. are you ticklish?

- holy shit yeah

75. have you ever started a rumor?

- nope

76. have you ever been in a position of authority?

- not one that mattered

77. have you drank underage?

- yes, i literally have more alcohol than food in my fridge rn

78. have you ever done drugs?

- yep, like three days ago

79. who was your first real crush?

- a kid named conner when i was in sixth grade

80. how many piercings do you have?

- four

81. can you roll your r’s?

- nope

82. how fast can you type?

- moderately fast

83. how fast can you run?

- not fast at all

84. what color is your hair?

- auburn

85. what color are your eyes?

- brown

86. what are you allergic to?

- shellfish

87. do you keep a journal?

- nope but i have a finsta which i use for the same reason

88. what do your parents do?

- my mom is a nurse and my dad used to be a firefighter

89. do you like your age?

- i mean i don’t like how close i am to being a real adult, but it’s fine

90. what makes you angry?

- lots of stuff

91. do you like your name?

- nope, i think it’s stupid

92. have you already thought of baby names, and if so, what are they?

- nope, no children thanks

93. do you want a boy or a girl child?

- neither

94. what are your strengths?

- i’m a good problem solver and i have a good work ethic

95.what are your weaknesses?

- i am physically weak and wayyyyy too emotional

96. how did you get your name?

- my mom watched steel magnolias in college and decided she was going to name her first daughter shelby

97. were your ancestors royalty?

- i doubt it, but on the off chance, pls send money i’m broke :))))))

98. do you have any scars?

- yes

99. color of your bedspread?

- white

100. color of your room?

- yellow

im tagging: @blackbluemichael @flowrxchild @rosecolouredash @calumsdemons @ghostofcth @what-now-lucas