#i am so proud of my internet stalking skills

[the-real-daddy-van-der-bellen]

last week I saw a news report about a priest arrested for drug crimes and because of who I am as a person I tried to find his name and I found someone who fit the reported details almost, except for the age but now today reports came out with a different age, an age that fits the person I found and let's just say that is the high that will get me through the week. by the way he allegedly made chrystal meth in the pfarrhof

[fific7]

Ticket to Ride - Part 2

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance, in which he gets a taste of his own medicine.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟, 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕙

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕖 𝕗𝕣𝕖𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕

𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖

𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖

𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The aircraft door opened and you stepped out gratefully onto the air jetty. You weren’t scared of flying, you just didn’t like being cooped up in a flying tube for several hours on end. Up an escalator and along a short corridor and then you were able to see outside through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The sky was beginning to shade into the colours it would take on for dusk. It looked like it had been a nice day and you hoped the good weather would continue for your stay.

Karen had texted you while you were sitting on the plane at JFK, waiting for it to push back. Frank had told her that Micro had tracked your phone to the airport so boy, were you glad you’d turned off your old phone and switched to the new one when you did. She’d also told you that Billy had asked him to find out where you were headed, and your heart sank. You knew it wouldn’t take long for Micro’s vast and nerdy computer skills to find you but then again, London was a huge city and they’d have no idea whereabouts in it you’d gone to ground, thanks to your new ‘burner phone’.

You were feeling super-excited. This was beginning to feel like an action movie, with you on the run from the bad guys.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“London??!!” Billy shouted, making Frank quickly move his phone away from his ear on the other end. “Yeah, London,” he replied.

Billy was back at his usual post by the window. “I mean... obviously I knew she was gonna fly somewhere but I thought it would the West coast, Miami, Seattle, Alaska... somewhere like that. But to go to a whole other continent....!!!!” Frank sighed, “Yeah, Bill, sounds like she’s really not keen to bump into you anytime soon.” “Yeah, thanks for remindin’ me.” “Bill, you brought this on yourself, buddy.” “I know!” yelled Billy, “An’ all I wanna do is get her back and make it up to her for the rest of my life, and all I know is she’s in London! Do you know how big that place is?” “Yeah, I do. And t’be honest... I dunno how you’re gonna even try to find her over there.”

There was a silence on the other end of the phone. “I mean...” Frank continued, “I’m guessin’ you are gonna go over there and try to find her, Bill?”

Billy’s shoulder twitched upwards briefly, and he stared intently out the window at the New York skyline.

“Yeah, Frankie... yeah, I damn well am.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d left two of your big suitcases and the backpacks in a luggage storage facility at JFK, travelling with just the one suitcase and a large shoulder bag. You took the overground Heathrow Express to Paddington before negotiating a change onto the Tube to reach Tower Hill DLR station, boarding one of the driverless trains out to Canary Wharf. Settling back into your seat, feeling pretty proud of yourself for managing not to get hopelessly lost.

Your AirBnB apartment was in a part of the city called Docklands, beside the Thames on the Isle of Dogs. It was an area of shiny skyscraper offices and fancy apartment blocks built round the old docks, and your accommodation for the next two weeks was in one of those. You were suitably impressed when you got inside it... open plan, all trendy furniture and gleaming fittings. Big, big windows with views of the river and the tall buildings.

Your phone chimed and you saw a text from Karen on your notifications. Taking your suitcase and bag into the bedroom, you went back out to the main area and sat on the sofa to read it. Oh. Billy now knew you were in London, and had apparently booked a flight over - he’d be arriving tomorrow. Your heart rate sped up; Billy was a sniper, used to finding, stalking, watching his prey. But, you told yourself, he had no idea whereabouts in the city you were and no way of finding you.

Relax.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy stepped off the Heathrow Express, looking around for signs indicating where the taxi rank was. He’d been looking at the Tube map during the train journey. Nah, fuck that.

He was too wired to even think about getting to London Bridge on the Underground, or ‘Tube’ as he found out Londoners called it. His brain had been working overtime trying to figure out how the hell he was going to find her in a city the size of London. She’d stay central, surely - she wouldn’t head to the suburbs, he felt confident of that.

Getting into the first taxi in the queue, he drawled out, “The Shard, please.” The taxi driver nodded and pulled away from the station without saying anything. Thank fuck, thought Billy, I can’t be dealing with a talker right now. But just as the thought had left his head, the driver’s London accent said, “First time in London, guv?” Billy sighed, “No. No, it isn’t.” In fact it was, but he wasn’t about to tell the driver that. He’d only end up getting taken on the ‘scenic route’, double the time, double the price.

The driver grunted and turned up the radio... really annoying music could now be heard but Billy would take that over inane small talk any day. He looked out of the windows at the city streets and his mind went back to his mission. Mission impossible. Finally he saw the river and the taxi crossed a wide bridge before pulling up outside the lofty skyscraper that was The Shard. According to the blurb he’d read on some travel website it was the tallest in Western Europe, and while there were taller buildings in New York, the shape of this one made it look quite dramatic.

He paid and got out of the taxi with his expensive wheeled duffel bag, heading to the Shangri La entrance of The Shard and going inside. (It’s one of the priciest hotels in London - of course). Checked in at reception on the 35th floor, he was then whisked up to his room on the 52nd by another express lift. The windows were huge and the views spectacular.

Once again, he was gazing out of a window at a cityscape.

Where is she?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your first full day, you occupied yourself with getting to know the surrounding area, doing some grocery shopping and sitting on your large balcony, enjoying the view and relaxing with a glass of wine.

Every time a plane went overhead you wondered if Billy was on it - he was due here today. You shook yourself a little, you’d just have to stop thinking about it. He wouldn’t find you.

Your mind wandered unbidden to his recent behaviour. Knowing Billy was a player from day one, you’d still got involved with him. More fool you. Another old cliché.... you thought you’d be the one to change him. And you thought you had. You’d dated him for a few months, he seemed to have ditched his old hound-dog ways and when he’d asked you to move in with him, you’d agreed without thinking it over too deeply.

Now, looking back, it seems like you’d made a big mistake.

»»—��——————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Micro had spent quite some time constructing a query table that he could run against accommodation reservations in London for her arrival day. She had no reason to book under another name and he’d just have to run with that assumption.

When Billy had come directly to him instead of going via Frank to ask that he try and track down her reservation, Micro had been too scared to refuse. Billy still really unsettled him - he always reminded him of a circling predator.

This query would take a while to run. He hit the go button and wandered off to work on another project while it tunnelled its way through layer upon layer of data.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was pacing his swanky hotel room like a caged panther. He’d given up on the idea of roaming the streets of London trying to spot his target, that was just one dumbass idea. He’d never find her that way, much better to just wait on that geeky twat to come up with the answer with his internet wizardry.

He’d spoken to Frank earlier, who had nothing new to report. Billy wouldn’t allow himself to feel guilty at cutting him out of the loop on his recent ask to Micro. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that Frank wouldn’t mention it to Karen. Much as he loved him like a brother, Frank was a big sap when it came to Karen and he knew he’d give in and tell her, probably sooner rather than later.

However Frank had told him that Madani had called earlier that day, wanting to know where Billy was and why she couldn’t get in touch with him. Billy had figured out that his girl had got herself a new phone, and he’d followed suit. Which is why Dinah hadn’t been able to reach him. “Whaddya tell her?”he’d asked. “That you were on an overseas operation and were incommunicado.” “Good,” nodded Billy, “....that takes care of that little problem for a while at least,” feeling a sense of relief.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank cut the call, a grim smile on his face. He hadn’t been completely straight with Billy, but it was for his own good. What he’d told Madani, however, had been the unadulterated gospel truth.

He’d said to her that Billy had hared off to Europe in pursuit of his live-in girlfriend, who’d suspected him of cheating on her and left him. He was absolutely determined to get her back.

He’d taken great satisfaction in the dead silence on the other end of the line, eventually punctuated by an angry snort and the call being abruptly ended.

That ‘little problem’ was hopefully taken care of for good.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Micro looked at his phone as it beeped at him, the notification saying that his query was complete. That had taken much longer than he thought it would. Now he could only hope it hadn’t returned too many matches as he’d thought it prudent to run it on surname only.

He pulled up the results table and was pleased to see that there were only a thousand or so, he’d feared there would be many more. He scrolled through the list and quickly pinpointed the one he’d been looking for.

With a deep sigh he picked up his phone, typed “Wood Wharf, Water St, London E14”, a building and apartment number into a new message, then hit send. It would be the early hours of the following morning in London, so he very much doubted that Billy would leap out of bed and head right over there.

He finished eating his supper, drank a beer and settled down to watch TV when his conscience started bothering him. Should he? He shivered when he thought about what Russo might do to him if he found out.

Popping another bottle of beer open, he sat and contemplated what he should do for quite a while. He suddenly picked up his phone, sending a quick text to Frank telling him about the whole situation and including the fact that Russo now had her London address.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

While you were lounging on your balcony, sipping your wine and watching the world go by, it suddenly occurred to you that this would be a great base to work out of for a while. You messaged the estate agent and extended your stay to one month, with an option to extend if required.

Then, on a whim, you booked a flight to Barcelona early the next morning from City Airport - it was really close to your apartment even if the flights were a bit more expensive. You’d been doing a little research into other destinations to explore, and having a base in London to travel to and from made you feel much more comfortable. The W Barcelona had caught your eye while you’d been browsing for accommodation and as you were only going for a few nights, you’d booked in there.

Feeling extremely pleased with yourself, you got up and went into your bedroom, looking for a folded-up smaller travel bag you knew you’d packed in your luggage. Finding it, you began to choose some outfits for your short trip, thinking what a joy it was that you could now leave your large suitcase here.

But damn, you were going to have to be up early tomorrow. Best to get an early night, you thought, immediately yawning.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy shot up in bed as his phone chimed with Micro’s text. When he read the information in the text, contrary to Micro’s belief he did leap out of bed and started pulling on his clothes (Micro had forgotten that this was an ex-Marine he was dealing with here).

He sat back down on the bed and googled the location. Oh okay, East London.... Docklands. Too far to walk and he didn’t think the Tube ran at this hour. Then he pulled up the Uber app and booked an immediate pick-up.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Walking into the terminal building at City Airport, you were in the middle of a total yawning fit when a text came in. It was from Karen and you stopped, putting down your bag so you could read it.

Karen: Sorry to tell you this hon, but Billy went direct to Micro 🙄 and intimidated him into finding your London accom. Frank’s told him not to do that again no matter how much he’s shitting himself! Please take care of yourself 💋

You: Bastard 👿 thanks for the heads-up, I will do 😘

Picking your bags up again, you hurried over to one of the automated check-in machines to get your luggage tag.

Whoever had said ‘timing is everything’ had definitely got that right.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“Oi!!!” yelled an irate male voice. Billy turned his head to see a groggy-looking tousle-haired guy, obviously just having been woken up. “Keep the noise down!”

Billy said nothing, just gave the guy his death stare. His head quickly disappeared back inside his apartment.

After pressing the buttons of a few apartment numbers at the main entrance, someone had buzzed him in and he’d been pounding on her apartment door for the last five minutes. But there was no response, and he knew she wasn’t that heavy a sleeper.

He slid tiredly down onto the floor outside her door. Had she somehow known he was on his way over here? No.... how would she know that?

His head dropped down in momentary defeat and he ran his fingers through his hair, groaning.

She hadn’t moved on already, had she?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The plane lifted off the tarmac, and immediately you felt a huge sense of relief. You just weren’t ready to see Billy right now - you’d probably kill him if you did, ex-Marine or not.

Now you were off on your next adventure.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

London

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss

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[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[fridayfirefly]

Lost and Found [Part Eight]

Masterlist | Ao3

Time passed, and Marinette loved every second of it, especially the time she spent with her friends. By the time she graduated from collège and moved onto lycée, her group of friends had expanded. She, Nino, Kim, Alix, Chloé, and Adrien spent as much time as they could together. The group of six had started an unofficial language-learning club. Marinette, Nino, and Chloé all made a pact to learn English, their Soulmates' primary language. Kim, Alix, and Adrien chose Japanese as their language of choice. For a while, Marinette was exceptionally proud of herself for taking the initiative to learn English, until she learned that her Soulmate's actual native language was Arabic. It took only five minutes of begging for Nino to agree to teach Marinette Arabic. She didn't pick it up as naturally as she picked up English, but after three years, she got rather proficient.

Time passed, and Marinette yearned for her Soulmate. Every Friday night for three years, she spent with her five best friends in the world. They baked cookies, watched movies, and stayed up late talking about Soulmates. But there was always something missing - her Soulmate. Marinette desperately wanted to meet him, but she knew that neither of them was ready. They were both too young. Marinette's parents didn't want her to meet him until she was at least sixteen. Still, Marinette thought that she deserved to at least know his name. After all, he learned her name when they were fourteen. Marinette had slipped up and sent him a picture of one of her pieces of artwork, a piece with her signature at the bottom. When Marinette asked him to return the favor, he decided, citing that their previous agreement to not reveal names until they were sixteen was still in effect. Marinette knew he was right. Learning more information about him would only increase the temptation to try and discover his identity, and discovering his identity would only lead to her trying to meet with him. But understanding didn't make it any easier, not when she so desperately wanted to hold his hand and talk all night with him - in person, not through paper.

Time passed, and Marinette got better at being Ladybug. She and Chat Noir learned how to work together. At first, it was a little rocky. Marinette was her clumsy self, tripping over her yo-yo string and falling flat on her face every time she tried to use her new wings. Chat Noir was a good partner, though it took him some time to figure out how to work as a team. Eventually, they both perfected their roles as Paris's superheroes. Things only got better after the superhero duo revealed their identities to each other. Learning that Chat Noir was actually her friend Adrien Agreste was a relief - Marinette already had so much on her plate, and Adrien helped take some of the load off of it.

Time passed, and the burden of fighting Hawkmoth decreased. At first, fighting him felt like a full-time job. Marinette and Adrien had to transform at all hours of the day, and sometimes the fights would last hours and require multiple retransformations. For two sleep-deprived thirteen-year-olds, it felt like hell. But eventually, Hawkmoth's attacks decreased. A viral campaign, started by none other than Chloé Bourgeoise, called on the people of Paris to be kinder to each other, to help strangers in need, to do whatever they could to prevent akumas, instead of simply waiting for Ladybug and Chat Noir to fix everything. Amazingly, it seemed to work. Hawkmoth's akumas didn't stop entirely, but overall they grew less powerful, and eventually, less frequent. Tikki and Master Fu both had their own theories for Hawkmoth's gradual decline, but Marinette believed wholeheartedly that it was Chloé's doing.

Time passed, and Marinette changed. She started as an awkward thirteen-year-old, desperately trying to juggle her Ladybug responsibilities, her schoolwork, and her relationship with her Soulmate. Three years later, and Marinette was sixteen. Confident, capable, and ready for anything. She wasn't perfect, she knew that, but Marinette felt that she just might be prepared to meet Damian.

Time passed, and Marinette and her Soulmate passed notes constantly. Three years of notes required five separate shoe boxes just to hold them all. Every one in a while, Marinette would go back and read them all.

I played my first video game today and it was more enjoyable than I expected. My friend Jon got it for me. It's called Ultimate Mecha Strike III, and apparently, his Soulmate recommended it to him. It's really popular in France, but it hasn't caught on in the United States yet. It has a multiplayer mode, so if you play it too, maybe we could play together sometime. D.

After many months of waiting, my eldest brother finally took the engagement ring out of his sock drawer. If he doesn't propose soon I fear that I might have to do it for him. D.

The macarons you sent me this morning were absolutely heavenly. Unfortunately, I made the grave mistake of sharing them with my family. If you do not send more soon, there might be a riot in my house. D.

I passed my driving test this morning. Now that I finally have my license, my brothers will stop bothering me about my illegal driving. It's not my fault that where I live, you can only get legally licensed once you reach sixteen. Frankly, I don't think I should have had to abide by it because it's a rule made for children with poor risk assessment skills. My risk assessment skills are above average, and they have always been. D.

Happy Sixteenth Birthday, Marinette. I hope that you have a wonderful day today, and I hope that this year is the year we finally get to meet face to face. Damian W.

However, it wasn't until the day of Damian's seventeenth birthday, March 19th, that Marinette and Damian finally took the first step towards meeting each other in person.

On the morning of Damian's birthday, Marinette woke up early and headed down to the kitchen. Damian's favorite treat was Marinette's lemon raspberry macarons, so it was a birthday (and half-birthday) tradition that Marinette would bake him a whole batch and send them to him one-by-one throughout the day. The macarons were just a small gift for him, though. Marinette's real birthday gift for Damian was a project she had been working on for weeks. It had taken hours upon hours of practice just to become proficient enough at knitting to even think about beginning the project, but Marinette was nothing if not persistent, especially when it came to the people she cared about. Her gift to Damian was a knitted blanket, but not just any knitted blanket. It was made of soft dark blue and white wool. Marinette had painstakingly knitted it so that it contained the same constellations as would be above Paris on the night of Damian's birthday. So that tonight, even though we are miles apart, we can be under the same night sky. Marinette hoped he would like it. Her friends all assured her that he would (Nino, hopeless romantic that he was, was brought to tears when he read the note, which Marinette hoped was a good sign).

It wasn't until late that night when Marinette was sending the last macaron to Damian, that she finally decided to send her gift.

Every day, I am amazed by you, Marinette. Your creative talent astounds me every time I look at something you created. I will treasure this blanket forever. Damian.

Marinette blushed. The only downside of meeting Damian was that he would see exactly what his words did to her, specifically, the amount that she blushed on a daily basis just from reading the notes he sent to her.

Marinette was getting ready for bed when she received another note. She was immediately curious, as this one was in an envelope.

After the longest engagement in the world (3 years, can you believe it) my brother and future sister-in-law have finally set the date for their wedding. If you are able, I would love for you to be my date for the ceremony. You wouldn't have to worry about a hotel or transportation - my house has a spare bedroom that you can sleep in. You could stay for as long as you'd like, though I know that your internship at Agreste Fashion starts on the 29th, so I'm sure you'll want to be home in time for that. I hope that I can see you soon. Damian.

Attached to the note were a wedding invitation and a plane ticket. The invitation was beautifully designed, cream paper trimmed and decorated in gold foil. YOU'RE INVITED. The ▇▇▇ family invites you to celebrate the union between ▇▇▇ and ▇▇▇. The ceremony will be held on Saturday, June 20th at 5 o'clock at ▇▇▇ Gotham, NJ.

Marinette frowned. He had blacked out the names of his brother and his brother's fiancée, as well as the street address of the wedding location. "I'm not that obsessive," Marinette complained to herself. In fairness, while her actions used to border on stalking, she had mellowed out over the past few years, partially due to becoming Ladybug.

The plane ticket didn't have anything blacked out, though none of the information gave Marinette any hints to Damian's identity, other than the fact that he lived in or around Gotham. It was a standard ticket. American Airlines. The date and time of departure: Wednesday, June 17th, at midnight. The most surprising part of it was that he booked her a first-class seat.

"So sweet," smiled Marinette, "But you didn't have to."

There was one glaring problem in her going to Gotham for a week - Hawkmoth. But his attacks happened so infrequently, practically once a month at that point, that Marinette didn't think it should be her biggest concern. A quick internet search revealed that in the worst-case scenario, a nonstop flight from Gotham to Paris was seven hours. While Hawkmoth could certainly do damage in those seven hours, the miraculous cure would reverse all of the damage. Marinette knew it was slightly irresponsible of her, to put her Soulmate responsibilities over her Ladybug responsibilities, but she pushed the thoughts out of her mind. For once, she was going to make a selfish choice. Without even alerting Tikki of the situation, Marinette snagged a piece of notebook paper off of her desk and penned a note to her Soulmate.

To start, I would love to be your date to your brother's wedding. It might take a little bit of convincing to get Maman and Papa on board but I'm pretty sure I can get them to agree. I am sixteen now, after all. Also, you didn't have to spend so much money on the plane ticket. You're already letting me stay with you at your house. I would have been fine flying coach.

I’m glad you liked my birthday present. Hopefully, my next gift to you will be given in person. I’ll be counting down the days until I arrive in Gotham. ~~Marinette~~

Marinette sent the note off, going to bed before waiting for a reply. After all, she would need to be well-rested for a long day of convincing her parents to let her travel to Gotham alone.

——————————————————————

“No way. Gotham is one of the most dangerous cities in America. I’m not letting you travel there alone.”

"But Papa-"

"No."

Marinette frowned. Breakfast had gone a lot worse than she had expected. While she knew her Dad would put up a fuss, she hadn't anticipated him being so dead set against her going. It was Marinette own fault, for not preparing for the argument with her Dad, for trying to pass the trip off as "no big deal", for not doing her research on the crime rates in Gotham (apparently they were exceptionally high, nearly twice as dangerous as Paris). Marinette thought that the discussion would be fairly simple, but her Dad wouldn't budge.

"Tom, she has to meet Damian at some point. This is a good opportunity for her to get to know him and his family." Marinette's Mom was tentatively on her side, but Marinette could tell that even she wasn't fully on board with the plan.

I won't have Marinette traveling halfway across the world, unaccompanied, just to meet her Soulmate."

"What if I wasn't unaccompanied?" asked Marinette.

"It would be too difficult for us to take a week off from the bakery, you know that, Marinette," said Mom. "There's just no way that this trip of yours will work. I'm sorry, Sweetheart."

Marinette sighed, her shoulders slumping. "Fine," she whispered. Abandoning her half-finished breakfast muffin, Marinette grabbed her backpack and left the kitchen. "I'm off to school. Not sure whether or not I'll be home for lunch."

Marinette spent the walk to school holding back angry tears. Her parents promised her that she could meet her Soulmate when she turned sixteen. Yet now that she had the opportunity, they were opposed to it just because they didn't like the city he lived it. (In the back of her mind, Marinette knew that they were just looking out for her, but at that moment, missing the wedding felt like the end of the world).

"What's got you in such a bad mood?" asked Chloé as soon as Marinette sat down next to her.

The entire group of friends all had independent study together first thing in the morning, so all eyes were on Marinette when she pulled the envelope out of her backpack. Spilling the documents inside across the table, Marinette said, "Damian invited me to his brother's wedding, which would be wonderful, except my parents won't let me go because it's in Gotham."

"Gotham as in Batman and Robin?" asked Kim.

"Yep. Apparently, the crime rates are really bad, and my parents think it's too dangerous for me to go there alone."

Chloé picked up the invitation, furrowing her brow as she read it. "This is going to seem crazy, but look at this." Chloé grabbed a book out of her backpack, the copy of Pride and Prejudice that she had gotten so long ago, and opened up the front cover. Tucked inside was the same wedding invitation that Marinette had. "Yesterday, my Soulmate invited me to his brother's wedding as his plus one."

Marinette's eyes widened. "You mean-"

"Damian and J.T. are brothers."

Nino cleared his throat. "I got this from Jon this morning." He held the same invitation in his hands. "Jon says that his family is really close to the family of the groom, and Jon's brother is dating one of the groom's brothers."

"Just how many brothers are there in this family," Alix exclaimed.

"I suppose Damian has at least three," said Marinette. "He talked about his brother's a lot, but I never really connected the dots that there were three of them."

"Wait a minute," said Chloé. "If Nino and I go with you, you won't be going unaccompanied."

"We should all go," Nino suggested.

Kim shook his head. "Alix and I are spending all of June in Japan with Kagami, remember."

"Maybe next summer then," Chloé decided. "We should all take one big vacation somewhere next summer. Maybe a cruise."

While Chloé was brainstorming vacation ideas, Adrien had pulled out his phone to check his calendar. "Damn," he swore. "I have Fashion Week in New York City from the fourteenth to the twentieth. There's no way my Father would let me miss that."

"Maybe you could come afterward," suggested Marinette. "Gotham is only a two-hour drive from New York City. You could be in Gotham on the twenty-first, and you'll still get to spend time with us."

Adrien nodded. "I think that might work. Father would make me bring a bodyguard, though."

"Even better. There's no way my parents could complain about me being unaccompanied if I had a trained bodyguard with me for nearly all of the week."

"Then it's a plan," Chloé sounded excited.

"I can't wait," said Marinette, her mind already starting to daydream about her future trip to Gotham, to see Damian in person for the first time.

——————————————————————

Good news, Damian. I got my parents to agree to let me travel to Gotham. It's a bit of a long story, and I think I might wait to tell you about it until I can tell you in person. Also, you'll have to send me the dress code so I can start making my dress.

I'd like to stay in Gotham until the 27th if you're able to have me for that long. I'll leave early that morning, so I'll have a day to adjust to the jetlag.

There are 89 days left until I get on the plane to Gotham, which means that there are approximately 2136 hours until I meet you face to face. I might die from the wait, but I know that it will be worth it when I get to see your pretty face. ~~Marinette~~

Marinette felt her guilt grow every day that she didn't tell Tikki about the wedding. Marinette didn't like keeping secrets from Tikki, but she also knew what Tikki was like when she was disappointed, and it made her cringe away from the idea of telling her. But enough was enough, and a week after Marinette agreed to go, she brought it up to Tikki.

"Hey Tikki?"

"Yes, Marinette."

"How bad do you think it would be if Chat and I took a vacation in June."

Tikki narrowed her eyes in thought. "A train from London to Paris can make the journey in just under two hours. It's not ideal, but a vacation would be doable."

"I wasn't exactly thinking of England."

"Germany then? Spain? Switzerland? They're all a little further away, but another hour isn't the end of the world."

"I was thinking..." Marinette hesitated. "I was thinking Gotham. To meet Damian."

"No way."

"But Tikki, you don't understand."

"A flight from America to Paris would take far too long in an emergency."

"It's seven hours. You said another hour isn't the end of the world. What's another three or four?"

"Ladybug is not a hobby, Marinette. It's a full-time responsibility. You know that."

Marinette felt like her arguments were going nowhere. "Tikki, listen to me. Hawkmoth's attacks have been more and more infrequent lately. It's over halfway through March now, and we've only had four so far this year. All four were very weak akumas. Chat and I defeated them all in less than twenty minutes. Hawkmoth, for whatever reason, isn't attacking with the same level of danger as before."

"Hawkmoth is still a threat."

"I understand that, but a flight from Gotham to Paris is seven hours. While the akumas would cause damage during those seven hours-"

"-and that damage to Paris would damage the reputations of Ladybug and Chat Noir. The citizens of Paris will spend seven hours believing that they've been abandoned by Ladybug and Chat Noir."

"We can fix any physical damage. As for damage to our reputations, it wouldn't be that hard to record a message telling everyone to remain calm and wait for us to show up. It wouldn't be great for our reputations, that's true, but I’ve given the last three years of my life to Ladybug. I deserve to be Marinette for a little bit.”

“I- I- Fine,” Tikki sighed. “You and Chat do deserve a break. I’m sorry for being so unreasonable.”

“It’s not your fault. You’re just looking out for Paris, in case I get a little too wrapped up in my own life. We balance each other out.”

Tikki nodded, her smile returning. “Life is better with a little bit of balance.”

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Sick Kids Group Chat

sonmychest: 🤗 tigerbalm: 👋🧡 tigerbalm: it's been so long! 🙀 how are you?? sonmychest: I know! I suck sonmychest: don't want to be the youtuber spending ten minutes apologizing for not being here though sonmychest: I'm doing pretty good right now, how are you? 😚 tigerbalm: it's a bad day, not a bad life...is what I would caption if I was an instagram influencer or something 😸😸 brainpain: 🦸 speaking for me when I haven't streamed in days LOL sonmychest: 🤭🤭 sonmychest: at least we have reasons for being that #extra that aren't the vague notion of NEEDING a break from taking pictures of our ☕ brainpain: I do spend LOTS of time in a dark room but not for 📸 no flash photography PLEASE 😵 inandout: your feed just updated, Lo brainpain: 👮🚓🚨 sonmychest: stalking or hacking? sonmychest: either way I might need those expertise brainpain: I had a 🌈✨🧁 FIGHT ME, Zachary tigerbalm: it is pretty tbh inandout: friend request, but it's not as if I don't have zero hacking or stalking skills sonmychest: wait, what happened to the anonymity rules??? sonmychest: where's @gotspoons and what have you done with her?! inandout: you missed the overthrowing of a tyrant inandout: not really, but the rule book is gone gotspoons: going to pretend I was summoned by mention, not notification gotspoons: say how you really feel, Zach! 😔 inandout: I said not really, rowboat gotspoons: I have 👀 and 👂 everywhere so you better be nice 😏🤭 gotspoons: but no, hi again, @sonmychest! we missed you! gotspoons: it seemed the whole no names no real life details thing was more of a hindrance than a help to the whole goal of this group, so we came to the conclusion by majority, and the higher ups were all okay with it, providing everyone under a certain age got their parents to sign off and we all used the same common sense we use on other areas of the web gotspoons: so feel free to introduce yourself by real name if you would like, but it's not necessary if you would not 😊 gotspoons: reintroduce, I should say tigerbalm: we shared selfies & everyone was 😻😻😻 brainpain: learned what a sex god @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously aka Rich is sonmychest: 😱😱😱 sonmychest: can't believe I've missed so much sonmychest: need to get better at socialization, my mammy is right 😂 brainpain: an unrivalled love story brainpain: not that he's here to back me up on that inandout: Paris and Helen who? Romeo and Juliet who? Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII who? tigerbalm: wait, those are all 💔😿!! brainpain: he's being a brainpain: insert a swear word of your choice sonmychest: *stage whispers* it's not jealousy though, is it? sonmychest: clearly, fill me in on all the nuances whilst I frantically try to find a picture of myself that's even one 😻 brainpain: he's a 👶 you already know brainpain: but Rich will be leaving me for some uni girl 🤓 so he's not wrong about the doomed part sonmychest: face that launched a thousand ships is a really great insta bio though sonmychest: right, so we have Rich, Zach...who else? gotspoons: Rosie here 🤗 brainpain: Lauren tigerbalm: & me, Robyn inandout: the new girl who started the revolution is Zelda inandout: @ihatemyguts sonmychest: no way sonmychest: a fellow nerd, or at least child-of-a-nerd sonmychest: 'cos I'm Kara and I don't totally hate this photo [selfie] tigerbalm: 😻😻 tigerbalm: you look so like I imagined you, except I thought maybe you'd be 👼 tigerbalm: should we all send new pics? brainpain: [does because any excuse] brainpain: they'll be buried tigerbalm: [a selfie that's even shyer than the first one she sent] gotspoons: [the same photo as before] inandout: if I must [some ridiculous selfie] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: This is a nice welcome back tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I've only been to physio brainpain: NOT ready for another selfie drop from you, boy brainpain: I'll be on my fainting couch brainpain: also hi tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Perhaps I should save your 🦴s and my pride when poor Kara, hello again btw, has to pretend to swoon too brainpain: 🦸 has great taste brainpain: we all love a shy boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My teachers undoubtedly wish I were shy, make their lives a lot easier tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [a photo] here we are anyway, I hope you found a soft surface suitable for you, Lauren brainpain: ☁ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, so you're the 👼 brainpain: LMAO 😈 brainpain: but you're looking angelic sir sonmychest: how are you ALL so cute sonmychest: this keeps happening, omg tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👼 face hides a multitude of 😈 sins apparently inandout: but reading between the lines, who else is making you swoon/stalk/hack inandout: that's my question tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well spotted, Zachary 🔎 sonmychest: 🙈 ugh, I'm so embarrassing sonmychest: but we can pretend it's all spilling out now because I played it SO cool in the actual conversation, right 😬😅 inandout: that's the official story, everyone'll confirm sonmychest: thanks, I need the backup so I can also pretend I have lots of friends and a normal social life gotspoons: we are your friends, Kara! gotspoons: though are normal is different from most tigerbalm: & you're coming to my birthday party & even though you have to stand on the other side of the room to Zach, it's still social tigerbalm: OH & we were talking about potentially meeting up!! All of us brainpain: keep it 6ft, children inandout: I'll be in the garden with my date, you can have the indoors with yours inandout: collectively, because we're all speed dating here now inandout: proud of you for picking someone outside this circle sonmychest: GAH so much exciting information today!!! sonmychest: 😁 sonmychest: obviously, I figured no one needed the drama of me falling for you, Zach sonmychest: 💀 not cute inandout: there's already a book and film about it, the chance has been thoroughly missed brainpain: Ignore him, Zelda's nothing but thrilled to find someone else in her age bracket brainpain: 👶👶 brainpain: hit us with your 💞 please sonmychest: well, I didn't just re-log into this chat today, I went on all my old forums because well, boredom, we can all relate, right? sonmychest: what I thought would be the least promising one was the sonmychest: not a dating site, I'm not 100 but you know the kind sonmychest: anyway, the CUTEST boy starts talking to me and he's also really funny and nice ??? tigerbalm: OMG! Did you swap selfies there too? sonmychest: not yet sonmychest: because he sounds so 😻😻 sonmychest: and he wants to talk to me again and he might not if we do tigerbalm: you're 😻😻😻 Kara brainpain: what she said brainpain: + if he's as funny, nice, all of that, as you said brainpain: I doubt he's a shallow jerk inandout: are you a good judge of character or not? inandout: what it comes down to sonmychest: oh, thank you guys! sonmychest: I don't know sonmychest: I think I am sonmychest: he didn't immediately come out with weird requests or weird 📸 of his own and that's a massive start on that site, I was honestly there to 🗑 my account but he changed my mind brainpain: I'll PM you the spooky stories my sister sends me about guys, it'll make you feel better brainpain: you'd know if he was one sonmychest: 🤭 do, can compare notes sonmychest: we honestly just talked about totally normal, nerdy things, it wasn't even a little sketch brainpain: ✉️ + 100000000s brainpain: hold up tigerbalm: that sounds 🧡 & so does this boy tigerbalm: awwhhh sonmychest: [sends the description he sent her slow your roll gal lol] sonmychest: assuming he isn't the archetypal internet weirdo from the 90s scare tactics tigerbalm: WOW inandout: tall, dark and handsome inandout: original sonmychest: okay, I know that covers a lot of bases sonmychest: but someone has to be brainpain: continuing to ignore you, Zach sonmychest: I get it though sonmychest: it's not like I even care what he looks like though, so even if the pics aren't exactly that description brainpain: not every man can be my Rich but doesn't make them 👹/🤡/👻/👽/👥 brainpain: trust your gut, it's not that body part that's failing you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👹 is a solid representation but the hair needs to be longer tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: at the risk of making myself or Zachary appear like overly protective boys, I think as long as you're as sensible as you surely are with this, then there's no harm in the back and forth tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: so if you were going to meet this person IRL, he could perhaps come to the group meet-up, that would be a good way to do it? brainpain: *🧝🏻 that's what needs to be said about your representation tigerbalm: Great idea, Rich! 😺 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when the beard comes in I'll look more Gimli than Elrond but I'll take the compliment 👽 babe from outerspace brainpain: who's watching the LoTRs with me? gotspoons: count me out, I'm the worst film buddy ever 😴 ihatemyguts: how many naps could you have in 20hr28mins assuming we're watching everything extended release 'cos duh ihatemyguts: 🥳 go hard or go home 🥳 brainpain: that's you in ihatemyguts: of course ihatemyguts: long since stopped asking for a pause every time I gotta 💩 ihatemyguts: adept at catching up with the plot is a life skill I didn't expect to gain like this but 🙌 gotspoons: 😅 I could do the whole 20hr28mins and that not be a record for how many hours I've slept consecutively brainpain: I'll act it out for you, I can get the 🧝🏼🏹 costume together during the pauses brainpain: dressing up box runneth over sonmychest: 🙋 dibs Arwen sonmychest: my old Katniss cosplay can be repurposed with some bedsheets and a 👸 vibe to it brainpain: that makes Rich your daddy 👀 you, babe sonmychest: 😖😳 nooooooooooo brainpain: I'll be Galadriel if only so I can speak to my man telepathically 💕 brainpain: swerving off book for that love connection ihatemyguts: obviously eye of sauron ihatemyguts: jokes write themselves inandout: hair of a hobbit wig so likewise inandout: and you know, a jew, gonna be the one to handle the 💎 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: How hairy are your feet, a pickup line that doesn't get thrown about enough inandout: not sending you free feet pics inandout: PM for prices though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Respect the hustle, Zachary tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I have clearly pledged myself and my allegiance to an e-girl already 🧝🏼🏹 brainpain: changed my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim name to Galadriel for you, Richard, you've officially made me basic brainpain: will cite it in the divorce tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as I can proudly produce said divorce to every mouthbreather that calls me a freak, I am okay with that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: devastated, naturally 💔 but okay brainpain: hit me up for multiple re-marriages at your convenience, I like that for us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Make a solid livestream 👰💒🤵 gotspoons: I'll get officiated! tigerbalm: imagine if any of us actually did get together cos of this forum gotspoons: You never know, Robyn gotspoons: it would be so adorable 😊 tigerbalm: Kara is giving me hope that online dating doesn't have to be a minefield sonmychest: don't give up yet! sonmychest: you're so lovely, a total catch tigerbalm: there still isn't a blushing 😸 emoji & I NEED it ihatemyguts: a travesty ihatemyguts: who do we need to @ for that brainpain: @fibrofog brainpain: he was a BIG DEAL ihatemyguts: 😏 hoping he comes back and I can 👰💒🤵 him obvs brainpain: 🔺 between me/him/Rich was prime in my life ihatemyguts: glory dayz brainpain: if he doesn't show up to stop our first wedding ihatemyguts: Zach won't even properly date me until we're confirmed #foreveralone at 18 inandout: you don't call this properly dating? inandout: @Kara you've got yourself a hater before your romance has fully taken off ihatemyguts: oi, don't drag me in to your 🧂 behaviour ihatemyguts: I'm very nice, I swear inandout: that's just how I taste inandout: she knows brainpain: if I didn't know my CF facts I'd be calling for a ban brainpain: that sounds filthy sonmychest: first declaring Rich my daddy, now 👅 Zach 😲😲😲 sonmychest: I'm also quite nice but not that kind of nice, I 🤞 tigerbalm: I don't think I wanna know.... inandout: But I'll tell you inandout: when we sweat, we lose too much salt, one of our many flaws inandout: on a hot day, you could lick us and taste it, if we like you enough to let you sonmychest: maybe that can be enough of a selling point? sonmychest: if crush boy talks to me again and it invariably comes up inandout: he might get to see it crystallise on your skin, not 💎 or ✨ but hey sonmychest: such a sexy condition, when you leave out all the mucus inandout: ZZ top is feeling it, she wants to properly date me ihatemyguts: 🧂 is a flavour I can enjoy pretty unrestricted ihatemyguts: let me have some pleasure tigerbalm: do the normies flirt like this too? tigerbalm: Kara you'll have to tell us, when you go further undercover ihatemyguts: don't know how lucky you are to have that pickup line in your back pocket ihatemyguts: just add tequila and a lemon and you've got a good time sonmychest: I'll 100% report back, providing he doesn't go 👻 brainpain: you need a drink when a boy lovingly strokes your hair only to feel the dent in your 💀 sonmychest: but also, to work out if your amazing hair is real or nah brainpain: I have too many split ends to be asked if it's a wig sonmychest: I ✂ my own sonmychest: and not often enough 😅 brainpain: don't reach for the bleach cos Robbie sees you as a blonde, there's my sisterly/old lady advice sonmychest: oh God, with these brows? sonmychest: I can swear I won't do that, along with meet up with internet randos alone brainpain: I'd volunteer to come along but I don't do disappearing into the background brainpain: would wear a trenchcoat for the right 💸💸 gotspoons: Normies definitely TRY to use our disabilities as a way to flirt with us, with varying success gotspoons: the amount of time I spend in bed is nothing to be 😏 about, honestly gotspoons: even if I was also chiming in to confirm blondes do have more fun, when they've had all their vitamins, a perfect amount of sleep, the stars have aligned JUST right... 🤭 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as resident ♿ user, they most ask if IT 'works', which is a bizarre level of care for people who aren't concerned about how me getting into their establishment really 'works' tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and, my dear, you are a terrible third wheel tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🔻 suits you better than obscurity 😎 brainpain: but I am a fun time with the TBI having increased the impulsiveness + removing the few inhibitions I did have 😉 brainpain: inappropriate sexual activity is a listed symptom 🤞 boys ihatemyguts: definitely a case of 'okay when I point it out to embolden myself, creepy if you do it' ihatemyguts: think some normies point out their flaws to be endearing but idk, is low-key a disability superpower guys, + 1 for us brainpain: like, what does that mean? Inappropriate for who? Answers on a ✉️ please ihatemyguts: could range from, science, you're being a prude to calling you a master criminal on the low brainpain: so many of my symptoms could describe anyone in their teens or early 20s brainpain: Rich, write a smart boy uni essay on it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depending on the bit that gets damaged, could be the same part that isn't yet fully developed in young people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: checks out 🧠 brainpain: you're SO clever brainpain: you'll be fighting off more than one 🤓 girl tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm not sure about that, on either count tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though the chair is a useful battering ram when it needs to be brainpain: I'm into it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: then you can hitch a ride, of course brainpain: reserved™ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the parking is unparalleled brainpain: not allowed to drive, you are my transport now, no pressure gotspoons: Me either, who can? gotspoons: need to work out the carpool situation brainpain: my housemate will, she owes me 10000s of favours inandout: + my parents tigerbalm: mine too but they're a lot to inflict upon anyone sonmychest: ^^hard same tigerbalm: maybe we get ourselves there unless someone can't? tigerbalm: & those people speak up sonmychest: That makes sense to me brainpain: ok, is there anyone who needs a lift? ihatemyguts: I'm good tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: likewise gotspoons: I'll make a permanent post where people can register interest in the meet-up, as well as need for a lift gotspoons: so anyone who can offer a lift, can respond there too, sound good guys? 😊 inandout: cool inandout: very un-tyrant like gotspoons: thank you, Zach 😏

[rpgmgames]

August’s Featured Game: Shroom Soup

DEVELOPER(S): Shroomy ENGINE: RPGMaker 2000 GENRE: Adventure, RPG, Psychological Horror WARNINGS: listed here (may contain spoilers) SUMMARY: You play as Arnika, a gloomy teenage girl. Perpetually tired, you live off excessive sleep, lime juice, and instant soup. You look into the vortex forming in your cup of said soup, this time mushroom flavour. Next thing you know, you are in an entirely different world where everything, from buildings to people, is being devoured by fungi. It seems like you have no choice but to walk on... Your journey involves exploration, puzzle-solving and battles.

Download the demo here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Hello! I am Shroomy, and I still haven't figured out which one of my nicknames I should go by, but I use "uboaappears" for art and "toxic shroom swamp" for games. I have a bachelor's degree in biology since two weeks ago and like everything surreal, gory and gay. Nice to meet you. I have been in the community since about 2012, and that might be also when I first wanted to make a game - a Yume Nikki fangame, because YN brought me here. I messed around with the engine for a long time, and certain characters and ideas gradually mutated to whatever this is now.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Shroomy: It's about making a cup of instant soup and accidentally going on a very weird adventure. ...Okay, actually, it's a coming-of-age story with an emphasis on mental health, relationships, and toxic flesh-eating mushrooms. The idea came to me when I made myself an instant soup once. For some reason, I thought it would be cool if there was a portal into another world in the cup. That's how it started. (I was also into drawing mushrooms growing on people at the time, so that naturally made its way into my Awesome Game Idea.)

How long have you been working on your project? *Shroomy: ...A while. It's enough to say that I graduated from both high school and university with it. But to be honest, I didn't really do much with it until about two years ago. Right now I tend to think of the time before that as trial and error, playing around with ideas and learning to use the engine. I feel a little self-conscious about how long it took me to come up with a coherent story, but that might be a good thing. Since this is quite a personal game, it helped to grow as a person. I think it made for a more interesting and mature work than it would be otherwise.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Shroomy: I feel like I take little bits of inspirations from everything. But I'd say Yume Nikki and Re:Kinder were the biggest game influences. Maybe Hello Charlotte, too - the minimalistic world gave me some food for thought :> Design-wise, I think my current (character) style is a lovechild of Danganronpa, Killing Stalking and something else I am not sure about. Maybe just me.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Shroomy: I think the biggest challenges for me have always been centered around the lack of free time, the lack of energy or the lack of motivation. Some people manage to juggle life and gamedev, but I get exhausted really easily, so it's hard. This is an ongoing issue. I tend to try and free up a day just for relaxing and creative stuff. I've also started using the Forest app for focusing on things, and sometimes use it for gamedev as well. At the beginning I found it frustrating that my skills (in pixel art, for example) didn't match what I wanted to create. That one was improved by - you guessed it - making a lot of pixel art. Making and scrapping a bunch of tilesets for the game. It's as simple as practice and learning how to get the most out of your art program. (It also helps me to make a detailed sketch of a map before I start working, or at least brainstorm the main elements of it.) Another challenge was the incoherence of the story. Originally I wanted to make something really vague and open to interpretation, but... that actually didn't give me enough material to work with. In the end, I played around with the characters, tried to write them some backstories that no one was going to see, and somehow ended up with an actual plot..? Shocking, I know! And the final thing is putting gameplay into the game. To be honest, the puzzles in the demo were pretty random on my side, I just thought them up on the spot. In subsequent locations I tried to make them relevant to the game's themes and/or hint towards the story.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Shroomy: For one thing, the current project has a story and a plan, even if the story is presented in quite an obfuscated way. The original concept was not much more than an idea of a shroomy world. The characters also have a lot more depth and pain to them than they used to. The locations have changed a lot as well, to the point where most of the original ones don't exist anymore.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Shroomy: My team is mostly just me. At the beginning it was a young and naive me, and now we have a slightly older and better-at-art me. After I started my dev blog, I was contacted by Tommuel, who now helps me with sound design and music. And my old friend Robin has made a few NPC sprites for me, and might give a hand with more pixel art in the future. They're not really involved with other aspects of development, but I really appreciate their help anyway! I prefer to keep most of this game to myself - it feels too personal to share, plus I'm a bit of a perfectionist.

What is the best part of developing the game? *Shroomy: I would say it's putting my work out there and sharing it with the world. I'm also really proud of how much I've grown as an artist and writer through developing this. I got attached to this story and this world, with all of its fun, weird and sad details. It's also been really fun, amazing even, to get to know other devs and make friends through being part of this interesting and creative community. I owe some wonderful friendships to it.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Shroomy: I definitely play other games for inspiration, it helps me a lot. Though I try not to make things "just like" other games, but make it a transformative learning experience instead.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Shroomy: I feel like I have been through stages. At first I was Arnika, then Lina, now I feel like I'm turning into Arthur. I guess I put my traits into all of them. (Does that mean that Bernard is the next stage? I'm /so/ ready to transcend humanity, finally learn how to do maths and become everyone's favourite character.)

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Shroomy: I think the biggest mistake I made was jumping straight into making a game without thinking it through or considering the scope. In the end, the lack of planning set me back a lot. Admittedly, I was young and excitable, so I guess it was a learning experience? I didn't really know how to write stories or plan long-term projects, but over time, I somehow built up those skills. I think it's good to have a clear-ish idea of what you want to make before you start, and maybe start with something small. (So basically, do the opposite of what I did.)

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Shroomy: Aha. Actually, yes. I have accidentally started writing two sequels already. They will be small games focusing on other characters' perspectives (as opposed to Arnika). I'm not actually touching them yet though, only making some notes and writing scripts. Perhaps by the time the first game is released I'll have enough material to comfortably work on them.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Shroomy: Fan reaction, I think? To be honest, I'm not really sure. I think I'll just be enjoying the incredible dopamine rush after finally setting this child of mine free to explore the world and infect people's brains with all the shroomy memes it contains. (Also will probably get off the internet for about a week from the anxiety.) Then maybe being free to work on other things, indeed. And posting spoilery concept art >:D

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Shroomy: I am a little worried about the reception of the game's subject matter. If you looked at the list of warnings, you might have an idea what I mean. Sometimes it feels dangerous to explore certain themes in your stories, because people misinterpret depicting something bad as promoting it, for example. But that's why that list exists. I'm just going to let people know straight away that I explore dark themes in this project and I'm not going to hold back on how I do it. Creativity should flow freely, I think. (I am also a little worried about the ratio of my free time vs. gamedev time and /when/ I will finally be able to release it, but... Thankfully, I'm the one in charge of that.)

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Shroomy: Take some time to make a plan for your project, start small, fail faster, and aim for something finished before you aim for perfect. Make a system for organising your files. Back up often, and on a different drive/cloud than your game is on, preferably several. Most of all, make something you would love to play! And don't be too hard on yourself.

Question from last month's featured dev @blackcrystalsrpg: What are your game dev pet peeves?? *Shroomy: I dislike the fact that sometimes I want to have made a game more than I want to make a game, but to have made a game you need to go and make the game. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But there's no escape from fate, so... go, go and make that game happen!

We mods would like to thank Shroomy for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Shroom Soup if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[emerald-eyes-8917]

Your Hand in Mine (Until the end of the world...)

This is response to an anon prompt that I received via my askbox about Dan being upset about a fan taking a photo of him and the reader holding hands,what with the Internet being so judgemental.

I hope you enjoy this, anon, whoever you are, and this will be crossed posted to ArchiveofOurOwn as well, so any comments or reblogs would be much appreciated.  So without further ado, here we go!

P.S. : I would rate this R, so take care if you are reading at work.  And here we go for real!

The day had been too long and the wrong side of busy.  She was immensely grateful for the clock striking five o'clock when she was able to leave the office, already looking forward to seeing her partner again, the inimitable Dan Avidan.

It still gave her a frisson of delight to think of him as her partner, even after these few months together.  

He had been working hard on his music lately, as well as video shoots, promotion and planning tour dates for the upcoming Tour de Force, and she had missed him a great deal while still feeling so proud of him, Brian and TWRP for all they had achieved together, and that success surely continuing to grow.

Sending him a quick message that she was on her way home, followed by a line of heart and star emojis, she gets in her car to go pick up some dinner on the way, unable to keep herself from singing along to 'Danny, Don't You Know?' as soon as it comes up on her iTunes shuffle, unaware that her screen does not notify her of any replying message.

An hour later...

Arriving back at Dan's apartment, she places the sushi meals to one side, for knowing the unpredictable hours that it took while recording the Game Grumps show, it would not be worth it to pick up a hot meal that would go cold in minutes.

There was still no reply to her message, but that was hardly alarming.  Dan rarely replied on days when there was plenty of games to play with Arin or music to record for Ninja Sex Party or Starbomb.  He pushed himself too far sometimes, and she prays to herself that this was not one of those days where he was on the brink of exhaustion.

She makes some tea, tidying up around the apartment to occupy herself, humming quietly and waiting patiently for his return.

However, after eight o'clock passes without any sign of him, she begins to feel a strong feeling of worry creeping in.

She sends one more message, 'Hey Dan, hope you're not working too hard!  I have dinner here at home so don't worry about picking up anything if you're hungry and plenty of warm tea too.  See you later.  xxxx'

Typing an 'I love you' at the end of the message seemed like a desperate manuevre to get his attention, since she was beginning to feel quite anxious about his lack of replies.

A half hour passes and she is pacing around the flat like a caged animal, clutching her phone like a lifeline, extremely close to panic, when the jangle of keys makes her jump, heart beating quite fast.

The door opens and Dan walks in, head bowed, not even calling out her name or any other greeting.

Before she can even say hello or ask what he had been up to all evening, or why he had her almost worried sick, he has stalked through the living room, not even casting a look at her, making for the bedroom, and closes the door quite sharply, the loud snap echoing through the apartment and leaving her nerve endings pricking with fright.

She is left standing alone, eyes stinging and chest heaving.  Throwing her phone on the sofa, making it bounce off the cushions with some force, she could have almost screamed in frustration or burst into tears at this insensitive treatment.

She had been near frantic with the pervading thought that he could have been in an accident, and when he finally decided to come home, he does not even say a word or offer any explanation.

White, hot anger floods her veins and she strides over to the bedroom door, rapping loudly with her knuckles.

"Dan!  /Dan/!  Open up, we need to talk, right now!"

No answer.

"Dan... I am coming into the bedroom to speak to you, because you are acting like a real jerk right now, and I've been worried about you all evening and I deserve to know what is going on.  I am opening the door, I gave you fair warning..."

Turning the handle, she pushes the door open, walking into the bedroom at such a quick pace that she almost trips over her own feet, prepared to launch into a tirade, but she halts immediately at the sight of Dan sitting with his back to her on the edge of the bed, bent over with his hands clenching and unclenching in his hair.

The rage suddenly evaporates into pure concern at this tableau.  It was not sulking, nor was he pacing the room.  This reaction was something else...

Swallowing thickly, she whispers, "Danny?"

Still no response.

"Dan..."

She ventures forward carefully, treading softly, her voice nothing more than a soft whisper, "Dan... has something happened?  Tell me?"

Her immediate thought focuses in on his family, that a terrible event had occurred involving his grandmother, his parents, his sister or his nephews.

He still doesn't reply, and now she cannot disguise the tremor in her voice, "Danny, you're scaring me... please... please talk to me."

It is only then that Dan sits up straight, turning his head slowly towards her, and already she can see that his eyes are glimmering, the corners of his mouth down-turned, his entire posture speaking of someone defeated.

"Hey."

She shuts her eyes, huffing a sigh, "Hi, Dan."

He looks down again, not being able to meet her eyes for more than a few seconds, admitting quietly, "I seem to have fucked up quite badly, haven't I?"

She does not answer, only calling on all the love she possessed and all the strength left in her body not to collapse.

"I didn't mean to scare you.  I read your messages, but I was driving and couldn't get my phone to reply.  I just... I needed to go for a drive and think."

This conversation was almost like getting blood out of a stone and her patience was wearing quite thin, so she asks once more, "Think about what?  Please tell me what's happened or else I will walk out of here..."

"Someone took a photo of us."

A beat.

"What?"  It is akin to being doused with ice-cold water, the gravity settling down on her and all she can do is sit down heavily on the corner of the bed across from him, looking straight at him.

Dan still does not meet her eyes, and pushes back his shoulders as if steeling himself to make a long speech, "Someone, a fan probably, managed to get a photo of us together.  When we were leaving that restaurant last week and I decided to take your hand because we were having a nice time out, and I like holding your hand, but then some jerk decided to take a photo of us out together and post it to their Instagram with the caption 'Shattered dreams of the fangirls' with maybe about a hundred comments about your clothes, your hair and who you could possibly be.  I've had my privacy denied, and yours as well, so someone could make a joke and everything's just crappy now and I'm just really pissed off about it..."

He brings his fist down on the mattress with a solid thump and she starts with fright.  She had never seen him angry before in all the time they had been together, and it was not a pleasant sight.

His voice sounds quite shaky now, as if he was holding back tears, "You know I love the fans.  They give me the chance to have a dream job, to do amazing things, but Goddamnit, I lose my patience sometimes, and it's so horrible to feel that way.  It's like dealing with really immature people sometimes, who just want to posture and be negative and make a judgement.  It's the same when there are really mean, personal comments about Arin's skill with video games,with people telling him that he sucks all the time and I have to defend him.  I shouldn't have to, and I shouldn't have to defend my relationship, either.  Everyone is just so judgemental on the internet without even knowing the whole story and it's just the worst..."

Taking all of this in, she wraps her arms around her middle, hugging herself quite tight.  Her own personal reaction to someone posting a photo of them online was one of quiet shock, it being the first time she had ever even been linked to anyone from the Grumps crew, let alone someone she was intimate with.  She was also feeling heartbroken at Dan losing any ounce of faith in his fans, the negative side of fandom clearly on display here.

Summoning up all the courage she can, she whispers, "What do you want to do?"

Dan heaves a sigh, "Nothing I can do.  It was out in the street, in public, by chance.  If I start anything negative, the backlash will be huge and some of the fans might take offence.  You saw how it was when I first joined the show, can you even imagine what it would be like now?  There is hero worship that can turn on a dime in a second.  No, someone took their opportunity and it just pisses me off that people don't know where the boundary lies.  I want my relationship to not be posted online, unless it's my choice, and trust me, I won't be doing that, because it's not fair to drag you into this bullshit.  You don't deserve hate or trolls or anything of that immature stuff... I just want us to be together, to enjoy this time together, and not worry about people hiding behind their keyboards being trolls or having to read that I've broken peoples' hearts."

He runs his hands through his hair, flopping back on the bed, arms outstretched either side of him.  He tips his chin up slightly and looks at her upside down, and immediately his forehead creases when he takes in her expression and her defeated posture.

"Oh... oh, God... I've upset you.  Baby, I didn't mean to..."

He opens his arms and like a magnet, she immediately shuffles across to let him take her in his arms, hugging her clumsily, all the emotions coming to the surface: relief that he home and safe, hurt that he had shut her out, the feeling of upset that their relationship was being scrutinised.  All she can do is allow the tears to fall, hiding her face in his chest and clinging to him tightly.

"Baby... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry for all of this... it’s just a fucking mess and you don’t deserve it.  I’m so, so sorry..."

She lets out a shuddering sob, "Danny... I need to say something..."

"Yeah?  What is it?"  The question is almost fearful, and even now she can detect his heartbeat picking up pace.

Why must I love you so much?  Why does it hurt?

She presses her hands to his chest and sits back from him slightly, though not completely separating herself from him, lower lip trembling as she speaks, just about managing to get the words out without breaking down into sobs, "I don't like it when you close yourself off from me.  It's like... I feel that you don't trust me when you don't open up, that you don't want to talk to me, and... it really hurts.  I'm sorry about someone invading our privacy, it shouldn't have happened, but we can work through that together, only if you talk to me."

Dan lowers his eyes, utterly ashamed, "I know that... I guess I thought I could protect you from all that..."

She lightly thumps her palm against his chest, not enough to hurt, but to make him look up at her, "You don't have to protect me.  You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

All he can do is nod, tears already beginning to escape from the corners of his eyes, but he does not allow his face to crumple.

"I do trust you... I think I need to work on expressing myself better."

"We both do.  We can learn together."

She lifts her hand to touch his cheek and stroke away the warm tears, heart aching as he turns his face more into her palm, pressing a kiss to her skin, murmuring that he was sorry over and over.

"Dan..."

"Mmhmm?"  

She slowly lowers her hand from his face, reaching for his own hand, interlacing their fingers together, holding them up between them while looking into his eyes with quiet intent.

"You feel this?"

"Yeah..."  He has his head lowered, staring down at their joined hands quite intently

"You can hold my hand anytime you want, in public, in private, wherever you want.  As long as you have my hand in yours, then everything will be okay.  I am not letting you go, Danny..."

"Baby..."

He squeezes that bit tighter, leaning his forehead against hers with a soft sigh.

She continues, "I know you're angry, and upset, but we can choose to rise above this or sink down to a level that is undeserving.  We can come through this..."

"Together?"

"Together."

He chuckles quietly, "I'm done with telling you that I'm sorry.  Let me show you now... let me make it up to you, please?"

Before she can even reply, he has ducked his head closer to gently kiss her, his curls tumbling in a soft cloud close to her face, ticking her cheeks as he tilts his head closer, deepening the kiss with a low groan in his chest and she leans closer, sliding her arms around his neck, responding with eagerness because she had truly missed him, and even the thought of losing him made her kissing more desperate.

Dan lets out another needy sound, his arms locking around her waist, leaning back and bringing her with him down onto the bed, shifting so she was draped across him, nudging his leg in between hers, his hips grinding up lazily against her.

Bracing her hands on either side of his head, she brushes light kisses across his face as he reaches up to tangle his hands in her hair, angling her head closer so he could kiss her again.

Just as their lips make contact again, her eyes flutter open and she lifts her head up and away, looking off to one side in deep thought.

Dan mumbles, quite bemused, “Baby... why’d you stop?”

She says quietly, “Wait... hold that thought."

She clambers off him, rolling over and hopping off the bed, darting just out of reach before he could catch hold of her again, only giving him a smile over her shoulder before returning to the living room to retrieve her phone, hearing him call out a 'Baby, come back'.

Sure enough, she returns in a matter of seconds, smoothing down her hair, sitting up on the bed with her back against the headboard, patting the space beside her.

"Here, come sit by me."

Dan tilts his head, completely perturbed, his hair mussed from her ruffling before complying with a groan, dragging himself up the bed towards her, "I'm getting so old..."

She shakes her head with a smile as he sits up beside her, folding his arms, "You look like someone with a crazy idea."

She gives him a patient look, "Just humour me, please?  I want to do this before we get too carried away.  Which can easily happen, as you well know."

Opening up the camera on her phone, she puts the screen to selfie mode, sliding down to rest back against the pillows, beckoning for him to do the same.

He sighs, sliding in beside her, and she moves in closer so her face was right beside his.

"Come on, take a picture with me."

Dan raises an eyebrow, "Ummm... why?"

"You'll see why.  Go on, give me a handsome smile."

Instead, Dan pulls a comical face with his nostrils flared and his eyes wide open.

She laughs at the sight, sticking her tongue out the corner of her mouth, snapping a quick photo.

"Alright... now be confused."

"Why?"

"It's improv and you’re a master at it, just trust me."

Dan makes an overly quizzical face as she touches her chin with her eyes looking to one side, taking another photo.

"Now be scared."

At first, he doesn't do anything, but then he gasps loudly, "There's a spider on your leg."

Just as she yelps, her thumb hits the shutter button and then he dissolves into laughter.  "Got you."

"You are the worst!"

Deciding to take him by surprise, she leans in and kisses his cheek, taking another photo as she does so.

"Meanie..."

"No, I'm not.  Now, once last one, and we're done."

"I'll make a normal face this time..."

"You can make any face you want."

True to his word, he smiles softly at the camera just as she reaches up to gently cup his cheek and tilt their heads closer together.

“That was a nice one.”

“Yeah.  Okay, now I am going to do some editing, so no peeking."

She turns over onto her side so Dan cannot see what she is doing, opening up the Layout app and putting the photos they just took together into a collage, saving the new image to her phone and setting it as her wallpaper.

When Dan attempts to lean over to investigate, she holds her phone close to her chest, "I said no peeking."

"But I want to see..."  He puts on a whining tone to his voice and pouts quite childishly.

She sighs fondly, "Such a kid.  Okay... here you go."

She hands her phone to Dan and he looks at the screen, letting out a jovial chuckle, "Wow.  That is awesome.  You look so pretty, and I do look attractive, especially in that one..."

He points to the one where they are both being threatened by the imaginary spider, and she giggles, "You always look handsome."

"Stop... you'll make me blush."  He acts extremely bashful, covering his eyes with both hands.

She smiles at this, prepared to lavish him with compliments to make him blush, instead tapping his shoulder so he can look at her, "So what I did this for and wanted to show you was that these pictures and these moments, they are what matters.  I know that it was upsetting to have someone invade our privacy in such a way, but we can't let it bring us down.  We can do what we like here in the privacy of our home, together.  It's not for public consumption, we won't be judged for it and I'm glad that you don't feel the need to want to post about everything."

Dan traces his fingertip along her jaw, his eyes soft, "Baby, I am far too old for all of that.  You know me and Instagram, I am just about getting the hang of it."

"Maybe I'll show you the animated filters someday..."

"I have no idea what those are."

"They're a lot of fun.  You can have a flower crown, be a cat or a bunny, or even have cool sunglasses."

Dan shakes his head with a smile, "As long as I can see your beautiful face every day, then I'll be happy."

"Really?"

"Really."

Blinking slowly, she reaches up to gently kiss his lips, drawing back a few inches, sharing his breath as she whispers, "And now?  Are you sure you only want to look at me?"

Dan's eyes light up with an unmistakable fire, and he leans in close, murmuring, "I want to do so much more than look at you..."

His hands sneak under her t-shirt, tracing a bold pattern on her skin, bunching the material upwards, his intention quite clear as he catches her lips in a clumsy, passionate kiss, rolling them over until he was covering her entire body, lifting her t-shirt free and flinging it to one side.

She cannot help the girlish giggle that bubbles up, running her hands down his chest, reaching down and fumbling with his belt even as he kisses her with a desperation that makes her heart ache.

In precious seconds, with their clothes discarded and the temperature surely rising with protection taken care of, Dan wastes no time in drawing her legs around his waist, shifting closer until he is gently sliding inside her, making her gasp quite loudly.

A moment where they share a look and another gentle kiss, and it would have been no surprise to anyone that she would gladly give her life for this man, without question.  

As Dan begins to move, the sensations already peaking and cresting so strongly, she leans down to kiss his shoulder, pressing her face against the side of his neck and burying her nose in his hair, when she hears him urgently whisper, "Baby... look at me... please, look at me..."

She draws back, her head landing back on the pillows, seeing the desperate passion in his eyes as he manages to get his words out between shallow breaths, "Don't... don't look away... keep looking at me... I want to see you... I want to see your face as we do this... I need to look in your eyes... you are so fucking beautiful..."

With that final word, he is moving that bit faster, pushing harder, and warmth pools in her belly at his words and the intense gaze he is casting her, "Oh... oh, Dan..."

He threads his fingers into her hair, leaning over her with his weight resting on his elbows, not an inch between them, tenderly keeping her in place so their eyes can stay fixed on each other.

"You feel so good, baby... so fucking good... I can't... I can't get enough of you..."

It is getting more difficult to keep her eyes from shutting in bliss, but she cannot look away from his intense expression, his soft curls hanging down like a thick mane around his face, his lips parted and eyes full of liquid warmth.

"Please... oh, please, like that... like that.  Yes... yes, love... don't stop, Danny, please don't stop..."

Inadvertently, she drags her nails down his back and he makes a strangled noise, his movements becoming more erratic, “So close... so... so close... I have you, come on, babygirl, I have you... come for me, come for me, my gorgeaus girl.  /Fuck/, I’m so close..."

The sound of his voice, the praise that he was giving her, the feeling of him so deep inside her, was all it took to send her spiralling into oblivion, waves of pulsing heat radiating from her centre.

"Oh... /Dan/... oh... oh, /Danny/!”

Dissolving into wordless cries, all she can do is try to keep her eyes open, looking up at him all the while as his forehead creases and he shudders as his own peak hits, thrusting once, twice more, her name a breathless moan.

The room is filled only with their combined breathing, as Dan collapses beside her, his hair tossed in her face, and she loosens her legs from around his waist, letting them fall outwards onto the bed, arching her spine as soft trembling aftershocks radiate through her entire body, gently rubbing his back and basking in this gentle afterglow.

"Oh... oh, my goodness..."

Dan's chuckle is low next to her ear, "My thoughts exactly, gorgeaus.  Wow..."

He stretches with a groan, reaching down to take care of the condom, deftly throwing it into the wastepaper basket in the corner of the room, before moving back beside her, immediately nuzzling into the crook of her neck, running his hand up and down her side, her nerve endings tingling at his touch.

She cradles his head close to her chest, gently running her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp, hearing his purr of approval.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Oh, so much better.  I mean... sex always makes me feel better, but I’m glad you talked to me, and convinced me to listen.  I’m an old man, baby.  I still have a lot to learn...”

She chuckles fondly, leaning down to kiss his forehead, “It will all be okay now.  I know it will be.”

Dan hums contentedly in reply.  “Hey, baby?”

“Yes?”

“Please send me that photo collage you made.  I’d like it as my background, too.”

“I will.”

A pause.

“I love you, Dan.  So much.”

Dan lifts his head, giving her a gentle smile, leaning in for a slow, lazy kiss that was so sweet that it brought tears to her eyes, “And I love you.  Don’t ever stop being you.”

Even while they were sleeping, their hands remain intertwined through the night.

[mondscheinprinzessin]

1. What project are you most proud of and why?

I will go with More than just Alive because I really really like it and I’m proud that I wrote a longer multichapter (in such a short time too oops). I like the characterization and the dialogue, and I just don’t have much to nag about it. From the Coffee Shop setting and Joel and Aleksi having a slow build of relationship (SPOILER!!) to the band forming at the very end, I don’t know, I think it’s good.

2. Which project did you have the most fun making?

Joel starring in the role as internet detective just because I could stalk Aleksi’s instagram and google for old interview with Alex Mattson and share old pictures of him on Discord and laugh about what I had found. It’s a short and light story and was fun writing also because it came so easy.

3. Which project was the most unexpected and/or challenging and why?

I have to split this question.

Unexpected for me were all the Fluff stories. Starting with don’t forget to take a nap because while I don’t read much of it I also never really leaned into writing it, but one day I just got this idea and wrote it down without expecting me to ever write pure Fluff. And then I did it again. Two times. Very unexpected.

Challenging for me was So put your drinks up for your demons in the dark mostly because I had to think hard and long about my own feelings which proved to be difficult at times (I suck at analyzing my own emotions) and I had to handle the topic without triggering myself and/or just start crying in the middle of writing it. So yeah, this was definitely the hardest to write while also giving me the most relief to have it finished and all out on paper.

4. Which project would you like to receive more attention?

I feel like all my works get good enough attention and I would feel bad to say here please give this work even more. Maybe I will just state my smut fic Just give me some release because I am proud of me writing okay-ish smut and I need people to acknowledge that😤

5. Is there a project you intended to work on but couldn’t find the time? If so, what is it?

There is one fic I had in mind months ago already and while I predicted that I wouldn’t start it last year I had hoped to at least write a bit for it, but until now it’s just a page of bullet points waiting to be expanded into sentences. It’s a fic about Joel and Joonas in school and how they met and became friends, featuring a bit of Olli and Tommi. It deals with bullying and insecurities and a fair share of teenage problems.

6. Have you noticed an improvement in your skill this year? Did a specific project help?

Yes, I did! I don’t think it was a specific project, I feel like it was a gradual process. Though I have the feeling it changed when I wrote a melody to stitch your soul and everything after that, don’t know why though. Maybe I put more work into searching for the right vocabulary.

7. If you could remake any project you’ve created this year, which one would it be and why?

Honestly, I would leave everything as it is.

8. What project would you like to make next year?

Oh, a lot. Besides the last two prompts and a few continuations of some fics there’s two multichapters now, two oneshots (probably a third as I was just making plans this morning) and a few more in my mind that I will shove into the background so I can finish the other ones first.

If you want to know more you can always ask about it.

[fearofyoongi-blog]

Oblivious To My Dreams

[ Infinity’s Answers pt. 1 ]

tags: college au, youtuber taehyung, dancer jimin, 

dancer jungkook, new york city, yoonmin, eventual taekook

main character: kim taehyung

word count: 2854

read chapter two HERE  author note: sorry this took so long to come out! and i also would like to apologize for the length. it isn’t as long as my other chapters because I decided to make this two parts. i hope you enjoy and are still interested in reading. i think it’s about to get good.

Two weeks after the release of Yoongi's song were absolute hell. Taehyung had so much fun on the project that going about his regular life felt like a nightmare. Gone was a reserved homebody. Out emerged this nightingale lusting for the sun. The college student so close to graduating was learning in a different way. Now he was leaving his apartment more. Now he had a friend other than Jimin. Even the followers of Taehyung’s social media commented on his newfound confidence. His last YouTube video feature new vinyls. All which recommended by Yoongi himself. Tae’s subscribers seemed surprised by his music taste.

As he sat in front of his computer today, the guy found himself grinning ear-to-ear. The video he was hoping to publish on his channel was very special to him. Yoongi allowed Jimin to record Taheyung and their music making process. This was a big deal for Taehyung. Not only will this be his musical debut, but it was igniting a fire inside. A fire he didn’t know lingered and lulled. Jimin offered whatever cinematography skills he had and assisted Taehyung. It followed Yoongi and him in their creative process, which led up to their collaboration’s debut.

Finally Tae was able to to publish the small documentary through his YouTube page. No wonder he was smiling so wide. There was something different about him, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Jimin said it had something to do with discovering this new creative outlet. On the contrary, Yoongi suggested that this process was similar to falling in love. Nonetheless Taehyung bit his lip as he posted the video without hesitation. Proud of the editing, of the work Jimin did for him, of himself. There had already been buzz on social media about the project, so this video felt like icing on the cake. It was a ribbon on a present.

As he leaned back in his chair, he could sense a presence behind him. The smirk on his features faded as he spun around. The one he offered, instead, oozed of a greeting. Jimin returned the smile and folded his arms. “Is it done?” His roommate asked whilst cocking his chin at the computer. “The video, is it posted?” Taehyung didn’t blame the other for being eager. Their anticipation begun last week. They both waited to show the world their project. This would be Jimin’s cameraman debut as well.

Tae offered a nod before rising from the chair. “It’s up. It’s weird, isn’t it? Feeling nervous?” To which Jimin shook his head in disagreement. “You’re right it’s not weird. I mean, this whole thing feels weird. Yoongi releasing the song and now showing this behind-the-scenes-esque documentary. It’s overwhelming.” Not to mention Taehyung had been dealing with finals throughout these two weeks. Both he and Jimin saw less of each other, because of that. When they did meet up, they would meet halfway at Yoongi's studio. Remembering that made him feel guilty for a moment. Yet judging by Jimin’s proud grin, it was easy to assume that the other wasn’t upset.

“Oh, that makes me nervous to say what I came here to say,” Jimin hesitated to stay as he pushed his palm up to his face. Tae almost did not realize that his friend was blushing. It caused him to make a confused face before Jimin spoke again. “I have-- We have something you should see.” His roommate finished as he pointed to the living room with his head. “Yoongi is here.”

“Yoongi is here?” Taehyung felt surprised by that. The project was finish, and he didn't have a reason to see Yoongi as much. Jimin and Yoongi continued to date, but invited Tae along. He agreed every now and again, but rarely. He never once felt like a third wheel. The three of them would chat and hang out like best friends. Once or twice, he and his roommate’s boyfriend had lunch or made dinner in the apartment. Well, Taehyung was no chef himself, but he discovered Yoongi’s hidden talent in the kitchen. It made him consider Jimin lucky.

Without hesitation, Tae followed his friend to the living room. His smile shining even brighter as he discovered Yoongi sitting on the couch. A part of him felt dread boiling in the pit of his stomach. The apartment wasn’t tidy, at all. Neither him nor Jimin were neat-freaks in any case. Their jackets tossed over the leather couch as well as socks and sneakers. It was embarrassing to admit that they scattered their clothes on their wooden floor. Trying not to feel humiliated by their common room’s messiness, Taehyung walked over to the couch. He placed his fists against the edge and leaned over it to greet the other guy. “Yoongi, what’re you doing here?”

Jimin and Yoongi locked eyes and smirked at each other. There was a sense of fondness at first, which Taehyung found normal. Yet something else lingered in their gaze. A different kind of fondness. Yoongi spoke up when Jimin nodded at him. It was then that Taehyung’s eyes landed on the laptop in Yoongi’s lap. He recognized it with confidence since he has seen it in the studio on many occasions. “You need to see something,” Yoongi then passed him the laptop. The first thing Taehyung noticed was that his friend was on YouTube. Next, he noticed the boy on the screen.

Taehyung’s heart must have stopped, because his jaw slacked in awe. It was hard to breathe as he tried to speak. “Is that--” He couldn’t bring himself to say Jungkook’s name, but he was squealing it in his head. Jimin giggled at the surprise on his face. “That’s him! From the bar!”

“Just press play, Tae,” Jimin said with a sense of eagerness. “Watch it.”

He hesitated. His index finger hovered over the space bar that would start the video in one click. Jungkook’s face was quite large on the video, which is what captured Taehyung’s attention the most. If Jimin and Yoongi weren’t watching, he would have stroked the screen. In spite of how busy he has been, he never once forgot about Jungkook. He never bothered to follow the boy’s dance group on Instagram. Nor did he research to see if Jungkook had a personal social media account. He never took to the idea of internet stalking. Rather than pine over a lost cause, Taehyung held on to possibilities with regret.

Seeing Jungkook’s precious face seemed to ignite his soul once again. Taehyung took a deep breath and bit his lip before hitting the spacebar on Yoongi’s laptop. The video was on, the camera was rolling, and Jungkook seemed ready to put on a show. Taehyung’s lips pushed forward as he also turned up the volume. It was difficult to hear the song playing until the volume was at its max. As Jungkook began to dance, the song started to sound more and more familiar. Taehyung shot his head up at Jimin, then he looked at Yoongi.

“That’s our song,” Tae said under his breath. “He’s dancing to… to our song?”

Yoongi nodded as he adjusted the beanie on his head.

“He’s dancing to your bridge, and into your chorus,” Jimin said to be specific. “He’s dancing to you.” The guy wanted Taehyung to realize what was happening.

Taehyung’s eyes were wide and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Not only was his song played but the boy from the bar was dancing to it. And boy, could he dance. Jungkook matched the melody perfect. He captured the mood of the song without any doubt. When Tae listened to the final piece, he had been uncertain of how he sounded. If anything, he was sure no one would like it. He figured, this was Yoongi’s audience, they weren’t interested in listening to a singer.

That was not the case, at all. When Yoongi posted the audio link, news of the song spread quite fast. Faster than any one of them could expect. Not only that, Taehyung’s subscriber count increased in a few short days. As well as his followers on Instagram and Twitter. This song was a huge success for Yoongi. So Taehyung understood why this was a big deal. Jungkook was a part of a popular, well known, group and this exposure meant a lot to the music producer.

Even so, Yoongi was sensitive enough to notice how big of a deal this would be for Jungkook to play this song. To be more specific, Taehyung’s part. Yoongi was nice enough to bring his whole laptop over so that Taehyung could watch the video. As opposed to sending a link and making Taehyung deal with this news alone. The sentiment meant a lot of him, actually, but he was too overwhelmed with his feelings to touch on the subject.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you found who you were looking for anyway?” Jimin said, as the video came to an end. Taehyung didn’t realize that it did. So immersed in the boy’s dancing that he forgot to pay attention. “I could’ve helped you find him, like for real.”

Taehyung gulped before glancing over to Jimin. “Because it’s nothing,” He said at first. “Or at least I thought it would be nothing.” Which was the truth.

“Yeah, clearly it’s not nothing. I mean, this is a call out, you know that, right?” Jimin replied.

“Well, we don’t know that,” Yoongi attempted to reason. “It could still be a coincidence. Either way, you should reach out.”

“Me? Why me?” Taehyung seemed alarmed by the suggestion, evening pushing his palm to his chest.

“To thank him.” Yoongi answered.

“To talk to him,” Jimin then added. “Maybe it isn’t a call out, but this feels calculated, doesn’t it? He knows who you are now. I mean, if I were him, and I met you? I would look for you. And when I found you, I would pull this stunt.”

Even if Yoongi hadn’t agreed with Jimin’s accusation at first, the music producer was nodding now. Taehyung felt barricaded by this suggestion though. “And… How am I supposed to find him? This is still linked to their dance group’s channel,” He explained, pointing at the laptop.

Jimin moved closer and pointed as well, daring Taehyung to find another excuse. “They link his personal Twitter and Instagram in the description.” A groan escaped Tae afterward. “Follow him and message him!”

“What am I supposed to say?” Taehyung asked, seeming naive, which caused Jimin to groan.

“Why are you acting like this? You never act like this,” He seemed impatient with Taehyung. “You’re always the first one to approach people you want to befriend! The night I met Yoongi, I even kept you in mind! I thought, what would Tae tell me to do?”  Jimin slapped his hand down to his thigh as scoffed. “You don’t need to be shy about this. He is clearly calling for you.”

“You can thank him for featuring your song on his channel. That video alone garnered sixteen thousand views in four hours. They offered a click-through link to my SoundCloud and my plays have gone up as well.” Yoongi managed to chime in, hoping to reduce some of the passion in Jimin. Taehyung believed they were a well balanced couple. Hearing this offer made him smile. “I would do it myself, but he didn’t use my verse. If he used my verse, I would have thanked him. He didn’t though, he used yours. Which, in my opinion, signifies that he wants to speak to you.”

A pained expression plastered his face. Taehyung was certain Yoongi was saying the exact same suggestion, only nicer. For a few seconds, he stared back at Yoongi. At some point in the few weeks they had hung out, the two began communicating with their eyes. Similar to what Tae did with Jimin. Whenever he wanted Yoongi to crack a smile or accept a cheesy joke, they would stare at each other. It would always end in Tae’s favor.

The staredown ended when Yoongi broke away to look at Jimin. Taehyung’s eyes followed and it did not take him long to realize Jimin was glaring at him. Clearing his throat, Taehyung looked back down at the laptop and sighed through his nose. Jimin was the first one to break the silence. “Don’t overthink this,” He said with less desire to convince Taehyung of what to do. “We gave you this hoping you would be happy to talk to him. If you’re not, then fine, don’t contact him.”

The air between the three became thin and awkward. Taehyung tucked his lips into his mouth while Yoongi stared down at his hands. A few seconds later, Jimin broke away from the social triangle and headed to his room. That jealousy hadn’t gone away for some reason. It started from Yoongi’s offer to feature Taehyung on his song, and manifested as the two became friends. As happy as Tae was to make a new friend, it was obvious that this was starting to bother Jimin.

Taehyung and Yoongi had discussed Jimin’s fits of jealousy before. As well as his failed attempts at keeping them hidden. This time, though, neither said anything. Yoongi waited in silence as Taehyung pulled out his phone. The college student took his time deciding whether to follow Jungkook on Instagram. When he followed his instinct. When he looked back to the other, Yoongi pulled his laptop away and closed it.

He watched the music producer pack his laptop away and get up from the couch. Taehyung thought the other would go to Jimin’s room, but no. Yoongi headed to the door.

“You’re not going to say goodbye?” Taehyung asked aloud, catching Yoongi mid-stride. When the other turned back toward him, he continued. “To Jimin, I mean. You’re going to leave without saying goodbye?” Yoongi remained quiet, leaving the floor open to Tae. “You know, you don’t have to say goodbye, if you don’t want to.”

He could see Yoongi gnawing on his bottom lip from afar. There was short pause before the other spoke up. Tae could tell his friend was becoming shy by this. Kicking the floor with his Vans. Yoongi pushed his tongue past his lips to swipe over them as he thought. When their gazes met again, Tae tilted his head. He waited for Yoongi to answer him. “What am I supposed to do when he gets like that?”

“Reassure him that he doesn’t have to feel this way,” Taehyung answered without hesitation. “Leaving doesn’t help. It only makes it worse, you know.”

Yoongi and Jimin were a well-balanced couple. Sure, in some ways they were complete opposites. Taehyung felt like he had seen many sides of them. He liked to see his best friend happy, there was no doubt in his mind about that. Yet at times he could sense Yoongi’s uneasiness. The closer he became to the music producer, he learned more about his personality. For one, Yoongi was much more quiet than Jimin. So he understood why Yoongi was choosing to leave as opposed to staying. It was much easier to walk away than stay.

“He knows that he isn’t supposed to feel this way. At least give him a reason to keep telling himself not to.” Taehyung added as he heaved a sigh, tilting his head toward Jimin’s door.

“What am I supposed to say?”

The question made Taehyung chuckle. Yoongi’s brows creased as he did. “Maybe he doesn’t need to hear anything. Maybe he has a lot more to say. You know how Jimin is. Let him take the lead and go from there.” He offered the advice as calm as he could, hoping not to scare Yoongi away. “Just be there for him.”

With an agreeing nod, Yoongi realized how wrong he was for wanting to leave. He started to walk again, this time in the direction of Jimin’s bedroom. Taehyung smiled to himself as the music producer passed him. Yoongi placed light pats on his shoulder as he did. “He’s right though, you know. Jimin? He’s right. It’s a call out. Jungkook is calling you out. So answer him.”

Taehyung parted his lips to speak, to disagree again, but Yoongi was too far away now. Not that it bothered him. At least Yoongi was going back to Jimin and not his own apartment. Without realizing he had been clutching his phone to his heart, he peered down and stared at the screen. Jungkook’s account was still open and ready to assist Taehyung and reuniting with the guy from the bar.

[twopoppies]

Hi! :) hope you're having a good day. What's, in your opinion, the top ten fics you've read? Sorry if you've done this before 🙈

Ok, sorry I took so long to get back to you, but this is actually a REALLY hard question to answer for all sorts of reasons, but mainly because I don’t think I can actually narrow it down to 10! There are so many wonderful fics in this fandom. 

Ok, so I think a bunch of my favorites are classics, and most people have read them. I’m going to give you a list of those. But I’d like to start with a list of possibly lesser known fics that I love as well, OK? I did my best, but couldn’t narrow it down to just 10 each!

Top 11 Fics That Maybe You Haven’t Read

our little corner of the world by brownheadedstranger

AU. Louis is stuck in his mom’s diner for the summer. Harry is the line cook with a pickup truck.

the moon made me think of you by anabsolution

harry works at a decrepit motel. louis stops by for a stay. set in the 90s.

Whether Clouds or Clear Skies by @onewasturning

“You, young Harold, are a baker among curry houses and vintage clothing stores,” Louis says, and it forces a bark of surprised laughter out of Harry.

“I’m a— sorry, what?”

“Harry,” Louis says, “last night I had an experience bordering on profound.”

“You’re making it sound like you did something sexual with my muffin,” Harry says.

Or, Louis gets into the habit of stealing baked goods while Harry’s busy keeping tabs on the weather.

six feet beneath the moon by starseas

AU. takes place over one night. harry and louis meet at a going away party.

how i imagined us by eliane

“I think about how lucky I am. The whole time, I just keep thinking about how incredibly lucky I am. “

“Because you’re kissing me?”

“Because I’m kissing you and you’re…” Louis stops. Then continues, quietly, “Because you’re the love of my life, Haz.”

New York is one of Harry’s favourites.

[Sometimes reality is shitty and Louis plays Scheherazade.]

language or the kiss by @a-writerwrites

“I’ve heard about you, Louis.”

Louis just looked back at him, hands on his small hips, foot tapping out an angry beat on the hardwood floor, a verse just under his tongue, waiting to spill out. “Yeah? What have you heard?”

Harry slowly stood up, his long lean body feline as he came forward, slowly closing the two feet between them. “Yeah…I’ve heard about you.” Harry whispered, so close Louis could smell his cologne, something spicy and fruity, soft and wild. “You’re the one.”

Louis looked up at him; unfortunately he had to look up. The fucker had about three to four inches on him. “The one what?” His eyes flickered from Harry’s intent stare to his wet obscene lips. Louis wasn’t proud. But his dick may have twitched a little. Just a little.

“You’re the one to beat.”

OR the one where Louis’ the best at everything until Harry comes along and makes him think twice. About everything.

so here we are. by @sweariwouldnt

Louis isn’t sure if they’re keeping on or giving up.

heroes of the orange skies by queenmcgonagall

Louis likes bathroom walls and Sharpies, Harry likes metal, Zayn likes Liam and Liam likes Zayn, Niall is wise, and they all go to the zoo.

Coup de Foudre by angelwarm

Harry moves to the front door accompanied by insistent lightning flashes. He acknowledges it could also be a murderer on the other side and that he will likely be dead in five minutes.

It should stop him. It doesn’t.

Harry decides not to waste another second and calls through to the other side, “Just a second.” He turns the key in the latch and opens it and—everything around him drops away in one long cloud coming into another cloud.

Taste of a Poison Paradise by objectlesson / @horsegirlharry

Louis notices Harry’s mouth right away.

Take My Breath Away by @realitybetterthanfiction

There is a prestigious school in the British Royal Navy classified as Premier Delta - or as it is known by its flyers, 1D. These select pilots are an elite set of Naval lieutenants who are trained in the skill of aggressive aerial combat. They are instruments of war, trained in times of peace. They are dogfighters, relentless and fearless in their mission to protect their beloved country. From their lofty vantage, they are always watching, waiting, and ready to lay it all on the line.

Lt. Harry Styles, call sign Sparrow, is a prodigy when it comes to flying. The owner of an unrivaled Naval pedigree, being a pilot was always written in the stars for Harry. With his trusty RIO, Lt. Niall Horan, Harry has made an unprecedented ascension in the ranks of the Naval aerial combat elite, and has been recruited to the esteemed Premier Delta flight school, carrying on his family’s legacy. What he finds there are unexpected friendships, perilous challenges, and something beyond what he ever thought possible. Because as his father had always told him, before the great Captain Styles went tragically missing in combat, you don’t fall in love with the sky, you fall in love with what keeps you on the ground.

I’ll list the “classics” under the cut

Top 11 Classics

Wild and Unruly by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Love is a Rebellious Bird by @gloriaandrews​ and @100percentsassy​

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who “has made Mozart cool again” according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don’t hum Bolero.

Wear It Like A Crown by zarah5

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis’ teenage fantasies.

These Roads We Stumble Down by @onewasturning

He’s completely drenched, not one millimetre of him not covered in rain, and the old sheepskin cover over the seat is probably going to stink afterwards from the damp. But even with what seems to be a constant tremor shaking his body, brown hair plastered to his forehead, and a blue tinge to his skin, he’s still probably the most gorgeous person that Harry has ever seen.

Or, Harry picks up a hitchhiker in Oxford, and it’s a long ride to Glasgow.

Into The Blue by zarah5

AU. In which Louis is Harry’s scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can’t be all that difficult to convince Harry that they’re on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

another hazy may by deLILah

louis is a terrible poet and harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. bookshop meets military meets summer romance au ft. marlboros, the backstreet boys, and underrated literary devices.

No One Does It Better by nodibs

Harry’s an alcoholic and Louis is a bartender. The first time they meet isn’t the first time they’ve met.

Speaking of Marvels by navigator and quitter

AU. Louis is a nanny in suburban New Jersey, and the neighbors’ son is home from college for the summer. It was supposed to be a fling.

Your Name Is Tattooed On My Heart by mcpofife

Louis is ready to find the love of his life, but first he has to stop falling for the punk rocker next door.

Pull Me Under by zarah5

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis’ favourite teammate, Liam as Louis’ agent, and Zayn as Liam’s boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

Young & Beautiful by @mizzwilde

Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

There are so many more that I’ve loved…I tried to keep this mostly to longer, chaptered fics, but there are wonderful PWPs and one shots and other terrific long fics…there are just so many good writers in this fandom! Hope you find some here you don’t know yet! Let me know what you think if you read any!

[biesanz2]

If you’re scared either for yourself or others, then congratulations, you’re not a psychopath. If nothing scares you, you might want to get your amygdala checked out and have a mental health evaluation as you may fall into a cluster B personality type and that may explain why you’re unhappy and resentful. I wouldn’t suggest anti depressants because I think they’re unnatural but that’s my opinion, I’m not an expert and this rant is based on personal experience and observation. It’s obvious but should still be said that proper diet and exercise are a great starting point for anyone suffering from depression.

Women lose their precognitive ability in their late 20′s or sooner if their amygdala doesn’t function properly, which is commonly found to be the main precondition for psychopathy.

All children are narcissistic. Empathy is learned but I think it’s also lost, specifically in women as they get older. I believe the antidote for this is marriage and children, and loyalty because I don’t see how being married with children and promiscuity can lead to happiness. That’s obvious but should be emphasized given what’s currently considered socially acceptable (and unacceptable) in America. Women peak in their early 20s. I think it’s after this peak that if they’re not married with children, they become resentful and unhappy and lose their ability to empathize with men and see a bright future. 

The only things they see are what are right in front of them, like this Tumblr. This is why men prefer younger women. They’re more hopeful for the future and more optimistic, they understand that they have learning to do, and they want the man to teach them things, whereas let’s say, a woman who is 29, thinks she knows everything and she’s not even married.

This will be taken down. A young woman can see that. An older woman will just think I’m stupid. There are women who lack empathy in their early twenties but that’s merely mental illness and I’m talking about women who are healthy physically and mentally and about to hit what is known as ‘the wall’. The wall isn’t exclusive to physical beauty but also pertains to mental health.

They don’t understand that I’m not taking this seriously. That’s a flaw of mine as well but I have to get this off my chest. They think I’m stupid. That’s called psychological projection. Although I am kind of stupidity but it’s my ability to see how stupid I am that allows me to improve myself. They project their own stupidity onto me and don’t take into account that I’m working on my flaws and that if they hang around, or even help me, we’ll work it out, and this is what effeminized men are doing wrong as well. That’s why I can’t hold a job in the restaurant industry. It’s a terrible place to start. I need work that requires masculinity, because masculine men are the only human beings with the ability to see into the future and have the ability to understand that this isn’t me but this is circumstantial. Social media is stupid. Social media is feminine. The only reason a man should be on social media is for business.

Women who have these desirable traits that are mostly found among healthy men, it doesn’t mean that they’re too masculine, empathy and precognition are just mostly found in men. That’s why I say it’s masculine. Women need to be masculine at times. I’d say turning into a psychopath is rather bitchy and feminine.

This is my feminine side, my need to express myself.

This should be in a journal. This is a result of me being emotional and SHOULD be looked down upon. It is however a blog which is also sort of an open journal. I have ideas that I’m proud of and would like to share but sharing my thoughts for free isn’t always wise. I should be working on a book but instead I DM/ email people, usually women who don’t care about me at all, or I make posts expressing my ideas to just be laughed at because I don’t have any followers, but that’s funny because if someone is laughing at it, then they’re passively following me, which is kind of stalking, further proving my point that most of the people who talk about me are projecting their own flaws onto me and scapegoating me, probably something I attract from having an effeminate father who taught me learned helplessness by being abusive.

God I hate my family. It might seem like I’m projecting when I talk about them but I’m actually really self critical and completely aware of my own flaws. I’m really nothing like them.

I can’t see into the future but I can visualize my ideal life and this isn’t it. I’m working towards it and no one can relate to what I’ve been through, they mistake my current circumstance for who I actually am. And if they’re smarter than that they take the opportunity to kick me when I’m down to elevate themselves in fear of me making them look bad by being “better” than them at whatever it is they’re insecure about but that’s what narcissists do. They don’t realize that they’re narcissists (and mentally ill) and they’re psychologically projecting their own flaws onto a scapegoat.

Americans are often guilty of these phenomena. Swedes are just as bad so it’s not exclusive to America. I think it’s human nature. You have to be something really special to not act like that and see someone’s potential, especially if you’re a woman. Young Catholic women are genuinely respectful, compassionate and empathetic. It’s a skill that women lose as they get older and that’s why I want a younger wife. Every woman I’ve tried to date my age or older has no empathy and won’t give me the time of day. They want everything now and they think that what they see is the only reality. It’s the complete opposite of precognitive ability. That’s why I go insane talking to women. It’s like talking to a child. And I wouldn’t speak on such profound subjects with a child. I would treat them like a child. Women are like children. Women should be treated like children. So I shouldn’t be posting this on the internet or talking to women as I would talk to a man who is masculine and empathetic. I’d consider psychopathy an absolute weakness. Empathy and honesty are often viewed as weaknesses but that’s out of envy and self resentment. Real men hold themselves to a standard and have honor.

Women lose their ability to visualize an ideal life, or an ideal man, and to see the potential in a man as they grow older, or they become psychotic and lose their ability to empathize, or both.

I’m writing this to vent because a 29 year old just blocked me on Instagram, but if I have anything to contribute, I’d say get married before you turn into a psychopath.

[heyligaya]

MY KOREA 2019 ITINERARY

Okay. I decided to make (write) this guide that might help someone out there planning to go to Korea. I'm going to make this guide the one I wished I read when I was fixing our itinerary so let’s go to what needs to be done after booking your ticket.

Honestly, it’s just simple guideline any traveler I think already knows but just in case.

Check the weather. I am a freak when it comes to packing. There is no such thing as PACK LIGHT. Homegurl needs options okay?? So I always check if what I'm going to bring will fit the current weather. Ask yourself, “do I need extra baggage allowance?” If personal baggage isn’t enough am I right? Haha.. hahaaa...haaa. But do consider this once you booked your flight. In my case, I added baggage allowance AFTER we booked the ticket since I figured “teka, pasalubongs will be extraaaa on this trip so better come prepared”

RESEARCH. Yeah yeah I know it can be a burden making those itineraries but honey, if you can stalk your ex-boyfriend for a week, you can search some good activities to do on your trip too! So get your stalking skills in work! In my case, my priority was PROXIMITY and BUDGET but will discuss that later. Make sure to change your peso bills to dolla dolla bills yo! It’s better to change the currency in Incheon Airport from dollar to Won than in any place outside the airport so better get those dollars before your flight.

Keep at least ₱2000 with you on your departure day. Why you ask? Two words. TRAVEL TAX. I learned this the hard way. I thought all was paid upon booking the ticket but Cebu Pac be like “Sis no! Better get that money for this countryyy” so yeah. You can actually pay Travel Tax upon booking but I didn’t know that. ₱1640  per person for travel tax. SHAKS ANG MAHAL DIBA? But it’s mandatory so...

Bring your own light snacks. My family ain’t playin. Once the plane took off, they started grabbing their hopia, crackers, and chips and people hear them crunch through and I'm so proud! Not paying 150 for a cheese cupcake okay? No. So bring your own.

If you’re planning to go to Korea, here are a few of my recommendations to purchase:

KLOOK Nami Island + Le Petit France. = It costs (₱1689 per pax) and it’s actually quite sulit for the whole experience.

KLOOK Discovery Pass = This is probably one of the most worth it purchase we had. 35 sightseeing privileges for free for only ₱2222 per person! COME ON! I actually calculated the number of entrance fees of the places we want to go to versus the amount of DP and yup! I definitely saved A LOT from that.

KLOOK UNLIMITED WIFI = Okay! I mean there were a lot of 4G internet that you can purchase here in PH already but with my pro-research skills, I found out that you can actually rent wifi that you can redeem in Incheon Airport upon arrival.(₱575 for 5 days) I purchased the 5-day free wifi. Para connected tayo diba?

If you are going to purchase, make sure to take note what terminal in Incheon you will depart since there are several choices where you can pick them up. Also, align your time of departure. Not all kiosks are 24hrs so if you’ll arrive beyond 9pm, choose the kiosk that has 24hrs running time for you to claim your rentals and passes.

If you booked your ticket with a late arrival LIKE ME (10:25pm but settled all the claims and reloads of T-Money at around 1:00am), your only choice is the NIGHT BUS. (see pic below for the airport bus schedules)

If however, you have a normal time of booking which reaches within the time where AREX is still going then I HIGHLY recommend using the AREX for ₩9000.

We took the N6001 bus which will drop us at Seoul Station.

Let us start.

So my itinerary wasn’t your typical one. I had the places as my priority so when I made this one, I made sure that I can utilize the location as much as possible. I researched all the places I can visit near

Myeongdong

Insadong

Ewha Woman’s University

Okay. So It might sound boring when I only mentioned three BUT do imply that these 3 have an abundance of tourists spots where either I can just walk or a 9min subway ride.

OUR LOCATION: We rented an Airbnb in Jungnim-ro.

(https://www.airbnb.com/users/show/214545347)

That is literally 7 mins away from Seoul Station subway which was HIGHLY convenient for us since we used the subway. ONLY subway (psh if I’ll rant about how many time I’ve been conned in my first time in KR, it’s gonna be to long) so I’ll attach my host’s details and if you want to rent her place WHICH IS SUPER DUPER NEAT BTW and we’re located near police station so the place is 100% safe so if you want to rent, you may do so. And one more thing, they have a youtube directional instruction on how you’ll be able to go to the main building of the house. LUV THAT! <3

PS: My Itinerary is made for my mum and aunt where they can explore but also minimize the stress of walking coz they’re old but STILL I made sure to expand the place I can explore as much as I can.

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Day 1.

Namsan Tower/Myeongdong

Disclaimer: Don’t judge! I know we only went to two destinations for Day 1 but I consider the fact that I'm with my mum who’s a senior citizen and we haven’t slept yet 😳 so I decided to shorten our destinations to visit for Day 1 so she can rest in the afternoon

Discover Pass can be used as T-Money (like beep card here in PH) so I suggest to load at least ₩30,000 for subway purposes.

Subway ride costs ₩1,2000 FIXED.

N SEOUOL TOWER

NAMSAN PARK

LOVE LOCK LANE

MYEONGDONG

Namsan Cable Car opens at 10:30. I specifically picked the daytime tour since Im with my mum and aunt and the would pretty much appreciate pictures in light BUT I highly suggest visiting Namsan Tower at night. The City lights is AMAZING.

Namsan Entrance fee is around ₩3000. You can choose if you want the one-way ride or the round trip. CAREFUL! The payment for the Cable car is different from the Namsan Tower Entrance. We have to pay for the cable car but have the Entrance fee for free in Namsan tower because of the Discover Pass (YASSSSSS)

You’ll find Love Lock Lane amazing scenery! If you get hungry, you can take the roundtrip cable car and just go back to Myeongdong and explore all the food!

PS : Okay, Korea has a few restaurants that offer “solo” on their menu. It’s always, MINIMUM of two orders. Doesn’t matter how many you guys are, the menu will always be a minimum of two. Example: Samgyupsal is around ₩23,000 so multiply by two, that’s ₩46,000 but I guarantee that it will feed 4 people. If you’re with more than four people who will accompany you, make sure to bring enough money for food. BECAUSE IT’S SOOOOOOOOO FLIPPIN’ GOOD!!

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Day 2

LE PETIT FRANCE + NAMI ISLAND

DONGDAEMUN

Le Petit France + Nami Island will take your WHOLE day. We departed at around 9am at the meeting place (Myeondong Station Exit 3) which is just where we dropped off for Namsan Tower and got back at around 5pm in the afternoon.

Nami is known for their DAKGALBI which is grilled chicken or Spicy chicken. Again, a minimum of two orders. There’s this place where we ate Dakgalbi two years ago and luckily, it’s still there when we visited and decided to eat there. I don’t remember the place BUT It’s in front of the Bus Parking space. It’s the only one there so I definitely suggest that place. Try their Buckwheat cold noodles too. IT’S THE BEST!

Dongdaemun for me was THE. BEST. ONE. YET!

So upon departure, the tour bus will give you instructions on where you can drop off. We had our meet up at Myeongdong and just our luck, the tour guide informed us that Dongdaemun station will be one of the drop off stations for those who want to explore the place WHICH WE DID. The drop off area was just at the gate of Dongdaemun so there’s not much walking needed. One thing you need to know is that it’s a very tricky place. It’s like a maze. A lot going up (not stairs) but the place was worth it. We went just before sunset but didn’t manage to experience the place at night. So I suggest you visit Dongdaemun at night too because the whole place is lit with lights and you’ll probably appreciate the structure more.

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DAY 3

GYEOUNGBUKGONG PALACE

NATIONAL FOLK MUSEUM OF KOREA

INSADONG

MYEONGDONG

I originally planned the Palace tour for 2 Palace visit BUT I underestimated Gyeoungbukgong palace. THAT PLACE IS TOO BIG for a day visit. I was telling myself there is NO way a Prince or Emperor could finish morning walk AROUND that palace coz it’s so big! So we only managed to visit Gyeoungbukgong Palace.

TRIVIA : It’s the biggest palace in the country AND many K-drama set place in G.Palace. An example would be Goblin.

National Folk Museum was actually INSIDE/BESIDE G.Palace and it’s free! We went there knowing they have CHAIRS coz our feet went bonkers after all that walking around the palace but we never knew how beautiful the museum was inside! All the history and ornaments and even old traditions were there.

INSADONG was probably one of my most awaited place to visit. Two years ago, Insadong was our last destination so we kinda rushed our visit here so this year I decided to take my time and really enjoy the place (so I didn’t really have that many pictures). Insadong is just a WALK away from G.Palace so it was pretty convenient. Insadong was a place for souvenir shopping. Literally, ALL kinds of stuff and magnets are there at such cheap prices. My mum hoarded A LOT of ‘em. Also, Insadong is where some of their traditional dishes are sold. I tried a honey thread-like candy (am so sorry I can’t remember the name of the stall) which for me was the highlight of my visit there. They have a public show of how they make these candies and also they know how to speak Filipino which is super cool. So if you’re going to buy souvenirs, I recommend Insadong. There’s a subway station direct to Insadong BUT it’s Jongno Station.

MYEONGDONG

This is probably the most mainstream place for tourists but I DO LOVE ME SOME GOOD FOOD. Cheap skin care products and awesome food!

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LAST DAY

We kinda rushed this day since our flight is scheduled that night but managed to still go ONE. MY. MOST. FAVORITE. PLACE.

EHWA WOMEN’S UNIVERSITY

I'm a sucker for good architecture and this place is mindblowing. Instagramable! Snapchat worthy! Photo walk legend!

The good thing about EHWA is they have a subway station for it. Literally EHWA University Station and just outside the station exit are stores filled with coffee shops and boutiques and my favorite, ARTBOX which is a store of tumblers and iphone cases and cute college bags and pens and notebooks and my heart JUSSSSST mmf! Paris Baguette is a very well known bakery in Korea and we just happened to pass by one at EHWA since we haven’t had any breakfast or lunch yet and let me tell you, BAKERIES IN KOREA ARE LEGIT. BEST ONES! Coffee in EHWA is different in Myeongdong. It’s like specially catered for students. It’s so goooood! Goblin also had kdrama shoots in EHWA so I was a little excited to see some of their buildings.

PS: EHWA doesn’t have entrance fee BUT you can only take pictures at the famous stairs but you can’t go further inside unless you’re a student.

AND THAT WAS THAT.

For our departure, we used the free ride of AREX that comes with Discover Pass. Price of AREX was mention earlier. It’s a 30 min. ride so you have to make sure you have enough time before your flight. ALWAYS BE IN ADVANCE.

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HERE ARE SOME OF MY TIPS:

Upload these apps! It’s definitely A MUST! This 3 apps made my life easier as a first-time subway user.

SUBWAY app helps you with the subway stations. It look intimidating at first because of the loops and colors but I tell you, it’s really easy! Im bad with directions and I understood the subway stations so much faster because of this.

KOREA TRANSIT GUIDE will help you with transfers and time. Your destinations may have a direct subway station but doesn’t mean you are connected to just one line. It’s like here in PH, there are instances where you need to transfer from LRT to MRT to get to your destination. It’s the same with Korea Subway BUT what’s good in Korea Subway is that transfers are all in one place. If you are going to transfer stations, there’s directions and instructional signs right when you drop off to point you to where you’re going. It’s so easy! Then you can use SUBWAY app to check the color of the subway transfer. As you can see, there are several color codes on each Subway lines. This app will also give you what BUS number you can take or if it’s possible to walk instead.

I posted a picture where you can see color codes in subway suggestions. Seoul Station (blue) to City Hall (green) then you can check in SUBWAY app the color code if it’s correct and to familiarize you with the station names you’ll encounter.

DISCOVERY PASS app IS A MUST if you’re going to avail one. You need to register your app so you can check the remaining balance of your Discovery Pass. You can also use it as T-Money for subways. I loaded ₩30,000 and I used it fully.

Bring good walking slippers (depending on what season you’ll go). Comfortable shoes goes a looong way but it’s good to have spare walking slippers just in case

Buy 110 plugs here in PH. Sockets in Korea is different so be prepared to have at least 2 or 3 for your chargers.

Bring clear packaging tapes. If you’re going to buy liquid skin care, make sure to put a seal because you don’t want your expensive skin care bottles to explode inside your luggage so better be ready that regret after.

POWERBANK POWERBANK POWERBANK. Never forget!

Korea is filled with PUBLIC wifi. So if you’re lost and didn’t avail the pocket WIFI they have at Klook, you can just go to a near coffee shop and have their free wifi just outside.

FOOD IS A MUST. I know you have your skin care list ready but don’t be thrifty when it comes to their good food. COZ IT’S GOOD! TOO GOOD!

Bring your own towel. We are used to big towels. Towels that can cover and dry your body. However, in Korea, they prefer a smaller towel. Like…..bimpo type of towel. It takes us 5 towels just to dry us up. They do give an abundance of small towels but come on! I need to be dried up in one swoop okay? So just bring your own.

AND THAT’S THAT! Hope this LOOOONG itinerary helps people one way or another.

[midweekupdate]

12/17/14

There’s a lot going on in this week’s update. Try to keep up.

Point form notes so I don’t forget what I’m talking about:

Homicidal Triad

Barry White

The Phone Call

Let’s begin. 

The holidays are a rather crazy time of year and I feel my last few updates haven’t been covering nearly enough information to truly keep my dear readers up to speed. I shall do my best to remedy the situation on this very early Wednesday morning. Very early. I can’t seem to be able to sleep lately.

When I was fourteen, I looked up the characteristics of a psychopath. It was a time in my life when I still wasn’t confident or sure of myself ,and it led to a lot of confusing trips to the library – and later, hours spent combing through the rubble left by internet users. Amongst my investigations I found the “Homicidal Triad”: a list of three traits that, when presented, are believed to predict or indicate a serial killer.

For your reference they are: Bed Wetting, Arson, and Cruelty to Animals.

I admit, I may have indulged in a bit of harmless torture of our family cat, Frank, in my youth but once I get the taste for human flesh (figuratively speaking, of course), I was hooked for life.

Or so I thought.

I knew getting back into murder wouldn’t be easy (and really, I just wanted to keep my skills sharp for when I finally could get back to it). It’s not like riding a bike or setting fires. It takes practice. You have to relearn old habits which were hard to break in the first place. So, alas, I felt I should start back at the beginning. Back to the triad.

Now, I didn’t go back to my early childhood and wet the bed or set fire to the babysitter’s VHS tapes, but I did do away with the neighbour’s cat. She was mewling all night, and I was getting so agitated that I nabbed the cat and brought it inside where I proceeded to slice it open with a kitchen knife. Unfortunately, it got a few good scratches in before I could kill the wretched beast but I did kill it.

I killed it.

Fuck yes!

It’s a little thing, a simple kill, but I did it all the same. So yes, I’m proud of myself. I loved hearing its little cries of despair as it waved its little paws around. Thankfully the scratches it left are only noticeable on my upper arms and it’s too damn cold to be so scandalous as to show my upper arms.

You know who else was proud? James. He came into the kitchen, found me covered in blood, then he picked me up and twirled me around. Then he went for a mop. He’s so loving that way.

I am so grateful to have him through this difficult time. Whenever I worry about the kids, he keeps me centered (and reminds me what their names are – it was one time). There has been more than one occasion which called for him to keep me from killing someone I oughtn’t. And just as many where he encouraged me forward.

I sometimes forget how difficult things must have been for him when I was going through that rough patch. That man is my rock.

It was his idea to stalk the stalker and now I think I’m ready.

I think I’m ready to begin killing again.

I’ve been following Daniel around for several weeks now and while I don’t know his entire routine, I’ve definitely got a place to start: Barry White.

Not the man himself but a barista who looks eerily like him in his youth. Every morning, Barry works the morning shift at the local café where Daniel gets his coffee and every morning, the stalker leaves with a smile because he’s a caffeine junkie and Barry is his supplier.

I wonder what would happen if I cut his supply off?

I wonder what he would do if he knew that the balance was shifting in my favor?

Anyways, where was I?

Oh right…

The Phone Call.

My parents didn’t know about my psychotic break, and I liked it that way. My children were told that I succumbed to pressure at work and just needed some time away (“locked in the looney bin” according to my lovely daughter) and I liked it that way. The family that I’ve created is the one I cherish most.

Unfortunately there can be some crossover.

Mother called while I was out one night and Jason answered the phone. He “somehow let it slip” that the reason they hadn’t heard from me since July was because I had spent some time locked up for my own protection but was now permitted to use my holiday time to relax over the break.

So my usual excuse that I can’t see my parents because I had to go into the office just went up in smoke.

Thanks, kid.

And that’s when I got the call. The call from my mother, reaming me out for not calling and insisting that they come down and spend Christmas with us. They’re driving down on the 23rd, and staying until the 27th. That is more time than I care to spend cooped up with my parents. Things could get ugly and not in the bloody way.

Why, god, why, is Christmas the one time you wish to torture me? It’s my one excuse to take time off of work and really focus on the important things but no, my parents just had to invite themselves.

I’m going to have to start cleaning the house now if it’ll be even close to dad’s standards and I haven’t really spoken to my mother since she told me that she’s the one who got my sister arrested. It’s times like these, I am so grateful that my kids hate their grandparents, as well. I can drag them along and use them as a shield.

It’s going to suck.

But I killed a cat, that’s something, right?

Someone please arrest me for murder so I don’t have to spend Christmas with my mother.

Maybe next year, things will go according to plan.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

[hellofastestnewsfan]

When a DNA Test Shatters Your Identity

“These are boom times for consumer DNA tests,” Sarah Zhang wrote last month. But what happens when the results are shocking? Many people, she found, have turned to support groups on Facebook as they try to come to terms with surprising revelations about their own origins.

Last year, I asked my dad for a 23andMe kit for my birthday. My mother passed away 14 years ago and I’m an only child (or thought I was). I also got my dad and stepmom kits for fun; they bought another one for my husband. We were going to have a “reveal” party. I got my results first (I cheated and peeked), and was shocked to find out I am half Italian. Neither of my parents has any Italian heritage. Since I hadn’t previously disclosed Italian heritage to 23andMe, a very cheerful dialogue box appeared that asked, “Wondering where your Italian heritage comes from? Click on DNA relatives.” I did and a half brother appeared—and that is when I knew that I wasn’t biologically related to my dad. Because I was worried that my dad would find out the same way I did, through the website, I spoke to him in person that same day. It was the most gut-wrenching conversation I’ve ever had. My father wept, but then admitted that he had had his doubts (but didn’t know how to tell me) due to the fact that he and my mother were separated when she became pregnant.

Many years ago, I had heard a rumor from my mother’s relatives that I wasn’t biologically my father’s child. I was told that she worked at an Italian restaurant and had a relationship with the owner. When my mom was very ill with cancer, I worked up the courage to ask about this. My mother denied it so emphatically and angrily that I felt foolish and ashamed wasting the limited time we had left asking a question that implied she was unfaithful to my father. My family members on my mother’s side are known for being colorful storytellers who rarely let the truth stand in the way of a good story, so I chalked it up to just that ... a fiction. I wish it were possible to attempt a second conversation with my mom.

When I first found out the news, I considered taking a leave of absence from work because I had difficulty focusing on anything else besides the revelation from 23andMe. On a hard day, I feel heartbroken about my mom’s secret. Her illness created an intimacy between us in the final months of her life and I felt that we were able to tell each other all the things in our heart. This news taints that memory and created a fresh bout of grieving about her death.

I’ve since met my biological father, his wife, my five siblings, their spouses and children, as well as other extended family. I found out that I was conceived between my biological father’s first and second marriages. They are just how you imagine a warm, big-hearted Italian family to be: accepting, loving, and eager to create a relationship with me (I realize how lucky I am in this regard). Not growing up with them or knowing them sooner feels like a loss. Seeing a therapist, journaling, talking to trusted friends, and the passage of time have helped immensely. On a good day (and most days are good), I feel a tremendous amount of compassion for my father who raised me, my biological father, and my mother. I’m saddened that she couldn’t tell the truth even at the end of her life—surely she would have known we would have forgiven her. I also have empathy for her, especially after reflecting on the fact that she faced the decision whether to terminate the pregnancy and then carried the burden of the secret of my paternity for the rest of her life. Her childhood was filled with trauma and abuse and I’ve come to accept that she didn’t have the skills to take ownership of her choices.

But, what a surprise to have in middle age!

Kasi Mireles Taylor Aurora, Colo.

Oh my! Talk about timing.

For 66 years I have not only known who my family was, but also done fairly extensive genealogy research.

Three or four days ago it became clear to me that half of those folks have no relation to me. While I’m not devastated that my actual father is a man I’ve never met and didn’t know existed, the news was a gut-punch. I teared up knowing that I had given my name—a name that I was proud of, but a name that I had no right to pass on—to my wife and to my sons.

I’ll not be joining this support group, but there is an odd comfort in knowing that it and its members are out there.  

My siblings are coming to town this weekend to give me a hug and show their support. That means a lot to me. Our mom, my biological father, and the dad who raised me have all passed, so really this changes little. Perhaps the only real change is the new family members that are out there.

Bill Williams San Antonio, Tex.

I too found unexpected results to my 23andMe and Ancestry DNA tests. When I got 23 percent Italian on 23andMe, I thought it was incorrect, so I tried Ancestry and got 30 percent Italian. I always believed I was half Irish, Swedish, and German. I found I have two Italian first cousins I never heard of. My father—who I now believe was not my biological father—had both of his parents born in County Clare, Ireland. I always relished in my Irish heritage. Now I feel left out on a limb. There are no siblings left alive, my parents have passed. I have asked my nephew (my sister’s son) to do the Ancestry test to see if I come up related to him. I am 72 and now wonder, who the heck was my father? Is this correct or was there a mistake somewhere? This interesting test has turned out to be a nightmare. I lie awake at 2 a.m. wondering where the connection is. Very baffling.

Barbara Chance Hammonton, N.J.

I always knew that I was adopted. It was a bedtime story meant to reassure me that I was wanted and loved. But as I grew older, I would stare in the mirror and wonder who I looked like. Did I have any half-siblings? Where were my birth parents? When I married and had children, questions about my nonexistent medical history suddenly seemed more important. After my parents died, I searched for my birth family and found a second cousin who helped identify my birth mother. My birth mother had died just nine months before I took my DNA test. I learned that I attended church in Oklahoma City with her and never knew. (My godfather, who arranged the adoption, was the pastor, but tragically died in a plane crash before I could ask him about my adoption.) My birth mother attended the college football games where I performed in the band’s halftime show. Her aunt bought a house down the street from me.

Once I had identified my birth mother, I used DNA cousin matches to identify my father, who had died in 1993.

Even though my birth family has been wonderful and accepting, I still struggle sometimes with my sense of identity and sense of place. There are huge swings in emotion: elation at having found my birth family, gratitude for my cousins’ acceptance, and a profound sense of loss and grief over two people that I will never meet. I feel the insecurity that I have crashed someone else’s party and don’t really belong.   

Although I was prepared for the factual information that might be revealed and knew that it might not have a positive outcome, nothing prepared me for the emotions that came with even a relatively happy ending. The emotional extremes of having a gain and a loss all at the same time are difficult to express.  

Holly Morgan San Antonio, Tex.

About three years ago, when I was almost 60 years old, I learned through an Ancestry DNA test that my dad was not my biological father. Ever since then, I have felt as if one of my wings had been cut off. I learned that such an event can bring emotions similar to those in the seven stages of grief. At this point, I have reached the stage of reflection.

I do not know if I was conceived during a long-term love affair, in a single moment of passion, or in an act of brutal violence.

“How do you feel knowing that Opa is not your real grandfather?” I asked my own daughter in a text message. Her immediate reply read: “It’s not DNA that makes a family.”

Marian Litvaitis Madbury, N.H.

Because I was about to become a grandparent, I decided to do 23andMe just for full disclosure for the next generation. Never in my wildest imagination did I expect to find that I was only 50 percent Ashkenazi Jewish. Not being able to explain this, I had my sister do the test. She was 100 percent Ashkenazi Jewish. This had to mean my father was not my father. I was shocked and devastated. I had my brother do the test and he came back with a different father altogether.

My mother is 93, with dementia, and initially she denied that my father was not my biological father. But when I had her alone, she admitted the truth.

I am not sure I am glad I found all this out, but it has been fascinating to put the pieces together.

Patty Friedman Chevy Chase, Md.

Several years ago, my dad passed away. He was a secretive man, and I never knew much about his family history. My husband gave me an AncestryDNA kit for my birthday so I could learn more about my father.

Be careful what you wish for, right?

The results didn’t make much sense. Instead of Irish and English, as predicted, my Ancestry test revealed a great deal of Sephardic Jewish and Greek/Turkish heritage. It also yielded a “first cousin” that I didn’t know.

I attributed this to faulty results, like so many people do. But my “first cousin” turned out to be a half-nephew I didn’t know existed, from one of four siblings I also never knew I had.

My father was a complete stranger.

It took me a year to come to terms with the reality, and then nail down who I thought my father might be—then a few more months of background checks and internet stalking to decide if I wanted to make contact.

I sent that first letter on my birthday last year, August 21. It’s been almost a year since my world turned upside down, but in that time I have met my birth father, a new stepmother, a half-sister, and a half-brother; I’ve spoken to another half-brother and know there’s yet another. I am the youngest of at least five.

DNA is unburying all those dirty little secrets. I don’t regret the truth, but truth comes with responsibility. We need to start responsibly handling something so drastically life-altering.

Meg Watt Pittsburgh, Pa.

from The Atlantic https://ift.tt/2PhbCgR