#i am so fuckign tired. holy fuck

[butchdykekondraki]

ohhhhh do NOTTTTT take antipsychotics amd sleep meds after drinking. BAD IDEA

[the-slayer-of-demons]

i am once again telling u gyns Do not romantically Mess arouND WITH A TIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am goign through it every single day

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #9 (Part 2)

Oh shit!! Is these ducks on the road??? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS THEY ARE!!! Anyways we're reading Ducks on the Road now which I'm super excited for because it features not one but THREE characters we've barely seen in the book club so far!!

This comic is LONG (I guess it's technically like 5 comics but we're reading them all in one go) so I'll probably end up having to extend this post with a few reblogs! So look out for those.

They're in.... VIRGINIA???? NOOOOOOOOOOO (person with irrational hatred of Virginia cause my whole extended family lives there so I have to travel there every holiday and it just kinda sucks there idk what to tell you. Also if Virginia is for lovers why is it called VIRGINia hm?? riddle me that BATMAN)

SCROOGE PAY YOUR FUCKING WORKERS also I love this outfit and haircut for Daisy she looks so cute here

Does this imply that Donald was living in Virginia beforehand because the implication that I'm only 1 state away from Donald is kind of frightening ngl. also Virginia sucks.

Did they hire Tuskerninni's cousin what's going on here. Actually this is the 70s it could probably BE Tuskerninni in an earlier life

I'm so used to talking about DT17 Gyro within my circles that I see Regular Gyro and it's like oh right!! He actually has joy and whimsy in his heart!! He's actually just a funny invention man who has totally not accidentally committed any atrocities in Tokyolk before!!!! He's also changed his hair color like four times

DON'T EAT THE GARBAGE SANDWICH WHAT ARE YOU DOOIIIIING

can somebody please help him he looks like an anxious chihuahua

How do you even leave piles of money on the floor to be blown away like that HELP I'm so stressed. Dickie get it together girl.

shoutout to these two and their cool accompanying text

HOW IS SHE SUCH A PUBLIC MENACE SHE'S LITERALLY JUST KINDA MID AT PLAYING GUITAR

She kissed him then IMMEDIATELY friendzoned him it was like a speedrun holy shit

Did he just headcanon Dickie and Daisy as lesbians? Because me too.

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT AFTER AN EXAM WHY'D THEY DO HIM LIKE THAT 😭😭😭 nice presentation you LONELY IDIOT.

DICKIE YOU CAN'T PAINT A FUCKIGN RENTAL VAN OH MY GOD

Ah yes my favorite sign on the highway. The big one that just says "WEST"

YOU GUYS I AM SO STRESSED DICKIE IS GONNA GET THEM ALL KILLED IN A HORRIFIC ROAD ACCIDENT. ALSO HOW DID THEY ALREADY GET ALL THE WAY TO OKLAHOMA-

NVM THEY'RE NOT GONNA CRASH THEY'RE GONNA GET SHOT BY THIS GUY FOR HARBORING CRIMINALS

DAISY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WORD. also i want these two guys dead they were mean to her >:(

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

dork ass nerd and his dork ass math pajamas. and what I assume is a plush of Albert Einstein or something. NERD.

Oh ok so we're just not gonna acknowledge what they do about their tires being gone. Ok. No it's fine I guess that's like irrelevant information they probably just like... found some new tires on the side of the road or something..... yeah....

Anyways this is the part where I briefly end the post so I can attach more reactions with a reblog!

[kusundei]

this dumb fucking bitch . no bcuz what the fuck? whats the fucking point then??? i knew when i got back but holy fucking shit is it so annoying when i am constantly treated like im dumb and have no plans and cant do anything with my fucking life. over and over again its always im fucking useless im an idiot i dont plan ahead i dont think. i dont ever fucking think before i do things because i “think too highly of myself and my skills” no??? you just act like im a fucking idiot???? im sorry i odnt reach your high standards of what you want from me but its not like i cant do wnything at all??? youre more stubborn than me if it truly is such a fucking problem then drop it and stop arguing with me. hell i fucking argued with her and i never do that but im so fucking sick and tired of this shit. alwyas always always and then its “just leave then” okay bitch??? then ill fucking go??????????? but no i cant fucking go anywhere at all. she wouldnt let me. its just bullshit and she walks away because shes “going to get too upset” and then acts like its all my fucking fault and im the one still arguing with her no the fuck im not???? id let it go if you leave me alone and YOU let it the fuck go. if i dont go to edmonds then fine. its fine. doesnt fucking change shit it just solidifies the fact im likely to not go to college and if i do then why the fuck is that up to you?? if i go to college im not asking you to pay for shit. id rather go into thousands of dollars into student debt then ask you for a penny. irs easier this way anyway because then i spend all my time at cascade and i can do everything possible to spend all my time w him. i dont need to be ahead. i just feel bad for sav cuz she’ll be there alone but she’ll live. i’ll live.

its hust so fucking frustrating. and the going back and forth over and over again i literally already caved? said i cant change that and i cant just apply at everett now because its closed. if you dont want me driving all the way to edmonds because im “not ready” then so fucking be it. its always “you dont have enlugh practice” is anyone fucking practicing with me??? is anyone LETTING ME practice??? and its always the small things. “yoy didnt check left” why did i need to i was turning right??? im not going into tje fucking left lane???? its a PARKING LOT I CAN FUCKING SEE????? THE YMCA HAS GOOD VISIBILITY? “You keep driving with one hand on the wheel” okay. im going straight. my car is extremely easy to maneuver i dont need both hands. i will use both hands if im locking in but im going 25mph . but no its fucking fine whatever??? fucking whatever. she’ll provably come back in here and yell at me again because i know her she doesnt let thagxshit go and she’ll keep bringing it up even though i literally fucking said no i wont go to edmonds then. i guess its my fuxking fault i listened to my counselor . “you didnt tell me” yes i did????? this dumb fuck i cant do this shit its so fucking annpying. i dont lkke being likr oh i fucking hate my mom but sometimes i truly do. because you r so immature and so stubborn and i dont caretjat yoyre pregnant and whatever . bipolar disorder who cares i never even acknowledge it ever because im not condemning you to that but god youre so annoying. make up your fucking mind ??? its not eben your problem its mine literally fuck off.

im just so annoyed because i literally said no i wont go. but now shes upset im losing college credits and time . okay??? and??? and jonathan is sooo upset. complaining about me to him like i can hear you guys and jts so fuckign annoying. i jdut wont go i cant change that??? icant change? that??? okay??? imsorry??? holy shit im so upset why cant i flee. icant even go anywhere. this dumb fuck holy shit im fucking condemned i hate all of you. i hate. you all. if they do the shit theyre fucking threatening right now im being so serious ill fucking leave. i will ill go im sick of this its been 2 days and ive tried to be soooo kind and not do anythint but fuck this im tired of it already

[teddybeartoji]

ARI. ARI. ARI. ARI. YOU. CANNOT. KEEP. GETTING. AWAY. WITH. IT.

i'm sorry i keep writing you like book length notes but this is my love letter to u ok i have a lot to give you you have my heart

I LOVE SATORU AND HOW EXCITED AND GIDDY HE IS FUUUCK it's so contagious i think i'd get smile lines at the ripe age of 22 if i were to ever spend a day with him

omfg the way sugu tries to coax you back to sleep:(((((( he can be such a grump i adore him so much

the way satoru and you get excited together WAAAAAAAA

"there are lots of things to love. lots of memories to cherish. and every single year, he gets the chance to make more. like this; the light in your eyes, the smile on your face, the excitement in how hurriedly you turn to meet his giddy gaze. a nostalgic kind of joy simmering in the space between you." i'm not crying YOU ARE

kicking his plushie of the bed and then blaming sugu for it - 10000% a satoru thing to do you're so right

(poor tired sugu though lmao imagine living with two hyper people)

THE SNOWBALL FIGHT IS SO FUCKIGN CUTE I CAN'T FUCKING THINK STRAIGHT ANYMORE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE THE MOST ADORABLE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THE AMOUNT OF LOVE I HAVE FOR SNOWBALL DUELS IS INFINITE OK IT'S ENDLESS IT'S ALWAYS JUST THE FUCK I DON'T HAVE THE WORDS IT'S THE SMILES IT'S THE LAUGHTER IT'S THE RED CHEEKS IT'S THE WARM EXHALES IT'S THE RUNNY NOSES IT'S THE COLD FINGERS IT'S THE OH NO WE'RE NOW BOTH IN THE SNOW LAYING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER OH NO OUR NOSES ARE TOUCHING WE ARE IN LOVE

"suguru’s going to scold him, but right now all he can think of is you. the frown you’re wearing, the little huff that slips from your lips." ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME

"you scoff into the kiss, but satoru’s smile only grows." i am in love with him IN LOVE I LIVE THERE

"because now, he has two people to share it with. two people to drag out into the snow, two people whose hands he can tenderly warm up, two people who’ll laugh and sigh at his antics but still indulge him. two people to pelt with snowballs. what more could a man want?" I LIVE THERE I REPEAT I LIVE THERE IT'S MY HOME

an intermission to tell u that i am in fact reading this with a big ass smile on my face

"(husband. spouse. suguru wills himself not to smile.)" this is getting really ridiculous now ari are you ready for my funeral

SUGU WARMING YOUR HANDS IN AN INSTANT BUT NOT SATORU'S AND THEN HIM BEING ALL HUFFY AND PUFFY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'M GIGGLING HE'S SO SILLY

”you hate me. you hate me, and you want me to die. i understand.” PLEAAAASEE i want him so badly it's not okay

"a look said man assumes goes unnoticed. he’s not as slick as he thinks." satoru is incredibly observant canon canon canon

i wanna wear sugu's sweaters are you kidding that sounds so comfy

CAT FOOD THEY HAVE A CAT I REPEAT THEY HAVE A CAT CANON SATOSUGU CAT PEOPLE CANON HOLY SHIT

omfg suguru kissing satoru's forehead mickey found dead in a ditch send help

ok that was a juke bc "satoru senses an opportunity to insert himself into the conversation, and forces out a yawn of his own. stretching his limbs like a big cat, blinking drowsily, eyelashes fluttering. hoping it’ll come off as endearing. ”mhm.” but suguru shoots him an unimpressed look. ”not you,” he tuts, patting your arm, ”this baby. i wasn’t asking you.”" I'M DEFINITELY DEAD NOW

THEIR DYNAMIC IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SICK sick in the best possible way like it's so sweet it's almost too sweet but it's PERFECT

oh...... oH.... suguru tucking satoru's hair behind his ear..............

"suguru is smiling. it’s small, but genuine, worth a thousand words." my sweet sweet boy

"(satoru had gone with him. partially to help carry it back, mostly to get a glimpse of suguru's biceps flexing with the swing of the axe. he’s a simple man.)" satoru knows what's good

HIM ASKING SUGU TO SIT ON HIS LAP ABHSAKSAJSAHS

ari you're so funny i love the dialogue so much i just keep writing them down here as if you weren't the one writing the words BUT I NEED TO REPEAT THEM AS TO MEMORIZE THEM FOREVER OK

like ”… santa can only do so much, baby.” ..................... i love u

you sitting on satoru's lap and the kitty sitting on sugu's lap:((((((

"pretending the domesticity of such a simple action doesn’t melt his heart down to the marrow." dreamy sigh big big dreamy sigh

"warmth, warmth, warmth. funny, how that happens to be satoru’s favorite thing about winter." ari so um- do you by any chance know your ring finger size? why am i asking? oh, no need to worry your pretty little head about it you just let me know, okay?

"again and again, as always, forever. that warm, warm feeling flourishing in the depths of his chest." love is all i know in this very moment

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!!! i can't say it enough - i love everything you write!! this one especially just warmed my heart, made me feel so cozy in this cold winter time. i hope one day i get to experience something as sweet as this; i have tears of genuine happiness in my eyes ari you deserve everything in the world<33

i'm writing down some songs that i was listening to while reading this - mexican dream by piero piccioni, pantyhose by tv girl, my kind of woman by mac demarco and of course, my love mine all mine by mitski

come rest your bones next to me ; satoru gojo, suguru geto

synopsis; satoru shares the first snowfall of the year with the two people he loves most. 

word count; 4.6k

contents; satoru gojo/reader/suguru geto (poly relationship!!), gn!reader, you're all whipped, reader referred to as spouse, fluff fluff fluff!!, sickeningly domestic, just comfy vibes all around, mostly from satoru’s pov, suguru has a favorite (its you) (but also not really he just likes bullying toru <3), satoru gojo may or may not have unresolved mommy issues

a/n; happy satosugu holidays to those who celebrate <33 geto died today isnt that crazy. dont u think its fucked up how love figuratively and literally killed him. anyway! help urself to two very whipped husbands <33 (not really proofread at all but ill clean it up tmrw!! :’3)

”holy shit!”

the raspy tilt of satoru’s voice echoes throughout the bedroom, stirring you from your comfortable slumber. a soft groan spills from suguru’s lips, deep and husky, as he pulls you closer into his embrace — smoothing a warm palm down the back of your head. trying to soothe you back to sleep, muttering under his breath.

”satoru, it’s too early for this...”

”it’s snowing!” said man continues, unperturbed. unmistakably giddy. he’s standing by the window, hands pressed flush against the cold glass; entirely entranced by the sight in front of his cerulean eyes. 

following his exclamation, your eyelids begin to flutter. a tiny tug of your subconscious, a pang of something excited flowing through your veins, an alert to your sleepy brain. with groggy movements, you wriggle out of suguru’s grasp — a displeased grumble leaves his throat, almost a whine — allowing you to scramble out of bed.

”really?” you chirp, rubbing the sleep from beneath your eyes. a raspy, meek little voice spilling into the air.

satoru grins, watching you move closer, watching as a tiny gasp pushes past your lips. watching as your droopy eyes widen — brightening, glittering, starlight and snowflakes painted on the interior of your iris. a breathtaking sight, he thinks. 

maybe even more breathtaking than the winter wonderland reflected in it; beyond the pure opaque frosting of the window’s glass, out into your backyard, buried beneath a thick layer of snow. soft and fluffy, covering the city, the bare branches of your apricot tree, suguru’s long-frozen tulip garden, every roof in sight. all of it dyed a pure white, glittering in the light of a morning sun yet to fully rise, tiny snowflakes descending down to earth. 

it’s beautiful. 

satoru loves winter. he always has, he thinks. it comes to him as a memory — blurred at the edges, gleaming even still, the first time he saw those snowflakes up close.

someone held him in their arms, he recalls. a warmth long faded. all he can properly remember is that sight; one that knocked the breath out his tiny lungs, all glitter and something almost otherworldly, something frightening in its majesty. like it broke through a raft in the stratosphere. 

the first snow of the year.

and he’s loved it ever since; the soft crunch of snow beneath his feet, an air heavy with the scent of cinnamon and candied apples, bouts of laughter to be heard from faraway apartments. red and green glimmers of artificial light, sweet frosting on the christmas cake he would always gobble up alone in his room. the cold wind, nipping at his bare fingers — a reminder of his capacity for ache.

there are lots of things to love. lots of memories to cherish. and every single year, he gets the chance to make more.

like this; the light in your eyes, the smile on your face, the excitement in how hurriedly you turn to meet his giddy gaze. a nostalgic kind of joy simmering in the space between you.

and before either of you know it, satoru’s pulling you towards the hallway, intent on dragging you outside to see it all up close. almost tripping over his agumon plush, lying unassumingly on the floor, kicked off the bed once again. 

(probably by satoru himself, though he’ll always insist it was suguru’s doing. overcome by his jealousy, unable to stand the sight of his cute husband cuddling up to a plushie instead of him. satoru understands, he does — he feels the same when he sees you hug that 3’0 cat plushie of yours.

and, sure, maybe once or twice he’s been lucid enough to register the subconscious kick of his leg and agumon’s subsequent fall to the floor — but he’ll still blame suguru in the morning. if only to see the way said man rolls his eyes, clicks his tongue, maybe flicks his forehead if he’s lucky.)

high on the spirit of christmas, spurred on by childlike elation and sleep-deprivation, you stumble towards the door. satoru pulls one of his jackets over your shoulders, delighting in the way your hands don’t fully reach through the sleeves. wrapping you up in a cozy scarf when suguru shouts at you both to dress warmly, barely awake and already tired of your antics.

and the moment you step through the door, satoru is engulfed by it. that mystical, mystical feeling. 

a little lonely, a little too satisfying to pass up. a cold breeze that nips at his fingertips, snowflakes that brush against his cheeks and stick to his white lashes. a warm hand in his, as you cling to his side, shuddering — but smiling, as you look up at the sky, putting a hand out just to feel the snowflakes melt against the skin of your palm.

he feels you let go of him, but doesn’t mention it. a little too mesmerized to tug you back. dipping his toes into the bittersweet nostalgia of it all, staring at the flurry of white all around you, the skeletal branches of your apricot tree, suguru’s poor tulips. humming a jolly tune, subconsciously. a little delighted.

— until something cold and wet hits the exposed skin of his neck.

satoru twitches, a chilling shudder trickling down his spine. the snowball just thrown at him begins to melt, droplets sticking to his nape, and he turns to you with a raise of his brow. a devilish grin on his lips, when he hears your muffled laughter, sees the crinkle of your eyes.

(you’re cute, he thinks. but you need to be humbled.)

”oh, so that’s how you wanna play?” he drawls, eyes gleaming with amusement. taking a step forward, reaching down to gather some snow in his palm. a wide grin on his glossy lips. ”fine by me.” 

he's fast, but you act quickly, running towards the apricot tree with laughter in your throat. feeling the pitter patter of your heartbeat resound in your ears, as the snowball misses its mark by just a hair — and you waste no time in making your own.

it’s a hard-fought duel. snowfall blocking your vision, nerves beginning to numb, red cheeks and runny noses as you chase each other with giddy breaths. unfortunately for you, satoru’s arms are unfairly long, fingers unfairly nimble, and his stamina never even seems to falter.

so before long, your energy begins to dwindle. chest heaving, hands too cold to form a proper snowball, while your husband seems like he hasn’t even broken a sweat. they just keep on coming, snowball after snowball colliding with the fabric of your jacket, and when one of them hits your collarbone you squeal — falling backwards, right into a fresh pile of snow.

satoru moves forward, a triumphant smirk on his handsome face. you’re out of breath, and your hands are red, and he’s fairly certain you’re gonna catch a cold. suguru’s going to scold him, but right now all he can think of is you. the frown you’re wearing, the little huff that slips from your lips.

”ready to admit defeat, sweetheart?” he practically purrs, standing above you with his hands on his hips. smug. and you grin right back.

”never.”

a hum. something glimmers in his eyes, a devious little glint, and you come to regret your decision when satoru gathers a heap of snow with his overgrown arms — only to drop it all on top of you. too tired to fight back, all you can do is shield your face, silently accepting your fate.

a shiver wracks through your body, and satoru almost feels bad. just a tiny bit. but then you finally relent, murmuring bitterly under your breath. ”fine, fine…” a soft pout forms on your lips. ”you win.”

and satoru smiles. crouching down to meet you at eye level, on his knees in front of you. there’s a teasing mirth in his eyes, when he reaches out to cup the fat of your cheek. ”that’s all i wanted to hear, sweet pea,” he drawls, trying not to giggle when you exaggeratedly roll your eyes.

his voice curls down an octave when he continues, leaning forward to brush his nose against yours. hot breath against your chilled skin. ”now, for my prize…”

his lips meet yours, sweet and chaste — a little cheeky. you scoff into the kiss, but satoru’s smile only grows. honeyed, a little bit adoring. his tongue flits out to lick at your cold bottom lip.

he lingers, for a bit. like he’s trying to savour the way you taste, faded strawberry chapstick sticking to his lips, smudged against your own. and you sigh, softly, melting a little, comforted by the fleeting warmth that blossoms on your face. 

when he's finally satisfied, having dragged his prize out to its completion, satoru helps you up. brushing snowflakes off your jacket, cradling your ice-cold hands in his. his aren't faring much better, but a worried tug of his heartstrings compels him to warm you up. bringing them to his lips, hot breath fanning over your skin, tender little kisses against the knots of your knuckles. you can’t help but blush, and a raspy chuckle flows from out his lips. 

hazy morning sunshine licks at the branches of the apricot tree behind you, illuminating the contours of your face, the shine of his eyes. a blue smudge on a canvas painted white and gray. the air smells of pine cones and something smokey, crisp. it courses through his burning lungs when he inhales, exhales, a breath of vapour that scatters up into the sky.

satoru loves winter. always has. but now, he’s certain he loves it even more.

because now, he has two people to share it with. two people to drag out into the snow, two people whose hands he can tenderly warm up, two people who’ll laugh and sigh at his antics but still indulge him. two people to pelt with snowballs. 

what more could a man want?

”hey, idiots!” 

the voice that echoes throughout the air is exasperated, a little teasing. yet fond. suguru’s got his hair tied into a messy half done bun, a black turtleneck sweater enunciating his broad chest and the curve of his waist. there’s a fatigue in his eyes, the creases of his face, but a lazy smile is playing at his lips.

”i’m making breakfast,” he shouts, voice deep and smokey and soft even still. ”come in and warm up before you catch a cold.”

”is that any way to speak to your husband and spouse?” satoru chimes back, a melodic lilt to his sugarsweet voice. something satisfied. pleased.

suguru shoots him an unimpressed look, but his eyes soften. melting a little, at the words that spill from satoru’s lips, as if they were always meant to be there. 

(husband. spouse. suguru wills himself not to smile.)

with matching grins on your faces, the two of you stumble back towards the door. snow crunching beneath your feet, a happy noise pushing past your lips when you collide with the warmth of your husband’s chest.

”look, suguru. isn’t it pretty?” you chirp, smiling brightly. an expression he mirrors — brushing some snow from the top of your head, warm palms caressing your cold skin, setting a mental reminder to scold satoru later. sparing a brief glance at the snowy veil over reality.

then he exhales. a fond hum. ”it is.”

satoru joins you both by the door, stretching out his lanky limbs. tousled hair, wet strands sticking to his skin, reddened cheeks and a signature pout. ”suguru, my hands are cold,” he whines. ”warm ’em up for me?”

a click of his tongue. ”should’ve put some gloves on, satoru.”

a hum buzzes in your throat, and you put your hands out. itchy, a little dry. a sad frown tugs at your lips when you speak. ”my hands are also cold.”

and, like clockwork, suguru’s eyes soften. a coo tiptoeing on his tongue, engulfing your hands in his larger ones. ”aw, c’mere, my love…” his breath fans over your frozen fingertips. ”let’s get you warmed up, hm?”

satoru gasps, a hand on his chest, and you stifle a giggle. he’s acting, you both know, being a little drama queen. he knows you’re just exaggerating suguru’s double standard as a bit, that your husband would probably set himself on fire to warm either of you up.

despite that, his voice comes out thoroughly offended. ”oh, i see how it is,” he huffs, walking past the both of you. pouting deeply. ”you hate me. you hate me, and you want me to die. i understand.”

”satoru,” you coo. he hmphs, but stills, waiting for you to wrap your arms around him. and you do — a little too eager to appease your giant baby of a husband.

”we’re just joking around,” you assure him, holding back a humorous chuckle. squeezing his waist fondly. ”love you sooo much. you know that.”

satoru stays silent. but he cranes his neck, to meet suguru’s gaze, standing just behind him. narrowing his eyes — a meaningful gaze. suguru sighs.

”yes, yes. we love you oh so much.” he takes a step forward, ruffling the white head of hair by the door. a lazy smile on his lips. ”now behave and go change out of your pyjamas. they’re soaked.”

his voice is teasing. exasperated, more than a little condescending. but it’s suguru, so satoru accepts it — following you both into the warmth of your home. the scent of cinnamon and vanilla hangs heavy in the air, a hint of espresso and firewood, lulling him into a sweet state of tranquility. rich with comfort, safety.

he changes out of his wet clothes, pulling a black hoodie over his head before waltzing into the kitchen. and you do the same, emerging from your bedroom in one of suguru’s cozy sweaters, knitted and smelling of bergamot. 

when suguru notices, his gaze shifts into something fond. palpable. a look satoru always finds in the scope of those warm eyes, amber and cedar bleeding into something sweet, only ever directed at the two of you. a look said man assumes goes unnoticed. he’s not as slick as he thinks.

the kitchen simmers with hazy sunlight and gentle movements, something sleepy and kind. satoru is a little bit enamored with it; from bowls of cat food by the corner, to camellias by the windowsill, cookie jars and dried lemon slices, the fading scent of baked goods and wishlists stuck to the fridge.

(yours and satoru’s are filled with scribbles, new ideas popping up daily, while suguru’s is almost entirely blank; mostly necessities, one or two things he’d like for himself.

and then, of course, the same thing he writes at the top of his wishlist every year; some peace and quiet.)

suguru shuffles around the kitchen, long strands of black hair cascading down his back, swaying with his movements. he sends you both an affectionate glance when you step in, already in the process of making satoru his cup of hot chocolate — topped with marshmallows and whipped cream, colorful sprinkles in the shape of tiny stars, a touch of cinnamon. satoru licks his lips.

when it's finished, the cup is promptly handed to him, paired with a tender kiss to his forehead. and suguru starts the meticulous brewing of your coffee, steady hands, finely chosen coffee beans, the low purring of the espresso machine. soothing.

that’s when you attach yourself to his back. wrapping your arms around his waist, a sleepy yawn muffled into the fabric of his turtleneck. he places a big palm on your hand, thumb smoothing over your knuckle, and you nuzzle into him silently.

”still sleepy, baby?” he questions, a coo on the tip of his tongue.

satoru senses an opportunity to insert himself into the conversation, and forces out a yawn of his own. stretching his limbs like a big cat, blinking drowsily, eyelashes fluttering. hoping it’ll come off as endearing. ”mhm.” 

but suguru shoots him an unimpressed look. ”not you,” he tuts, patting your arm, ”this baby. i wasn’t asking you.”

a pout. ”why are you so mean to me?” he whines, shooting you a doe-eyed look. bottom lip jutting out slightly, a feigned glassiness to his eyes. ”sweetie, tell your husband to stop being so mean to me.”

you smile. indulgent, as always. ”don't be so mean to him, suguru. you know he’s sensitive.”

a sigh. deep, tinged with exhaustion. satoru shares an amused look with you — stifling a shared chuckle at suguru’s exasperation.

and suddenly, he feels something warm flutter in his ribcage. a sunkissed butterfly, wings brushing against his ribs, coaxing his lips into curling up. unmistakable fondness, almost too much to bear. the need to reach out and touch you creeps up on him, a hunger he can’t deny, but he holds back; you look comfy like that, curled up against suguru’s back. so he only inches closer, without a word. 

his husband casts him a glance, but satoru stays silent. lips pursed, waiting for something. patient.

and suguru relents. he reaches a hand out, to tuck a stray strand of white hair behind his ear — an excuse to touch him. a silent apology. 

(i'm sorry, you big baby.)

satoru grins.

you shift from foot to foot, leaning over to see what suguru is doing, pressing buttons and taking two ceramic cups out from a wall cabinet. your eyes zero in on a particular shelf, narrowing in suspicion, before flitting over to meet your husband’s gaze.

”satoru, did you use up all my peppermint sweeteners again?”

he stiffens. just a tad, before swallowing a gulp — followed by a silly chuckle, sheepish and performative, eager to wiggle his way out of your cold gaze. ”… which sweeteners do you mean, honey?”

”don’t pull the ’honey’ card.”

”and don’t play dumb, either.”

a pout crosses his lips. betrayed. ”suguru, who’s side are you even on?”

said man gives him a look. that one look, characteristically suguru, the same one he always sends satoru’s way. one so thoroughly unimpressed it makes him feel like the world’s biggest clown. 

and satoru plays along. your dutiful, beloved clown, his posture wilting like a sad flower. suguru exhales through his nose.

”don’t steal their sweeteners.” he smooths a thumb over your knuckle, absentminded, meeting the cold metal of the ring on your finger. smiling a little at the sensation. ”buy your own.”

satoru huffs, drawn out and childish. crossing his arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. ”ah, i see how it is. leaving your sweet husband to buy his own sweeteners?” he clicks his tongue. ”chivalry is dead.”

you bite back a little chuckle — satoru recognizes the cute noise you make when you do — and suguru rolls his eyes. fondly, always. ”remind me next time i go to the store and i’ll consider it.”

”hmph.”

suguru is smiling. it’s small, but genuine, worth a thousand words. and you are, too, the vague crinkle of your eyes giving you away. even as you bury your face in the curve of suguru’s back.

and ah, satoru thinks. there it is again. 

that sickeningly sweet sense of deja vu, the sensation of a certain something flourishing inside his chest. warming him up, trickling through his frost-bitten veins. that one little itch he never manages to satisfy, that never goes away, something that took root inside his heart years ago — watered by the sweet looks on your faces.

the everyday slice of heaven, right in front of him, that he’s been greedily partaking in ever since he moved in with you. since he married you.

(married.)

sometimes he still can’t believe it. 

”it’ll be done in a minute,” suguru hums, and satoru blinks. broken out of his syrupy stupor. ”you two go wait by the kotatsu, okay? must be cold, poor babies.” 

and, as always, his voice is a little teasing. a tiny bit condescending, if you really strain your ears, in typical suguru fashion. but it’s laced with a touch of sweetness; one that would be too much for either of you to stomach, if it were to drip out of his lips with nothing to water it down. so satoru accepts it. welcomes it, even.

and you follow his suggestion. making your way towards the living room, satoru trailing behind you, continuously enamored by every little thing he sees. every little piece of the home you’ve built for yourselves.

your living room is cozy. several potted plants seated here and there, a thick quilt to cover the kotatsu, a bowl of satsumas on top of it. a sleepy cat on your couch, golden sunshine ruffling her fur. a santa hat lies beside her, and satoru snags it without much thought. pulling it over his head.

his gaze shifts to the christmas tree over in the corner, eyes filling with a childlike kind of wonder. it’s decorated to completion, weighed down by colourful ornaments and lights, a star at the very top. suguru cut it himself, bringing the biggest and prettiest one he could find back home.

(satoru had gone with him. partially to help carry it back, mostly to get a glimpse of suguru's biceps flexing with the swing of the axe. he’s a simple man.)

and beneath it, presents are already beginning to pile up. carefully wrapped, in bows and silken paper, growing more each day. shattering suguru’s hopes of maybe having a more lowkey christmas this year — but satoru couldn’t be more relieved. this is the only time of year you let him get away with pampering you both to his heart’s content.

a smile blooms on his lips. he plops down on the floor, crossing his legs, right as suguru walks in with a coffee pot in hand. their gazes overlapping.

and something mischievous begins to brew within the blue of his eyes, something that makes suguru narrow his own. satoru pats his thigh, twice, a coo on the tip of his tongue. santa hat sitting pointedly on top of his head, fluffing up his hair.

”c’mere, suguru! sit on santa’s lap.”

”— you’re disgusting.”

the words are playful, but a pout still slips into the curve of satoru’s lips, and he huffs out a displeased little breath. his husband pretends not to hear it, so satoru turns to you — sitting so prettily to his right, already anticipating his next move. puppy dog eyes on full display, he gives you a soft tilt of his head, snowy tufts of hair falling over his eyes.

and you sigh, in what he knows is resignation. his faux pout turning into a satisfied grin.

you curl up in satoru’s lap without much of a fuss, letting him circle his arms around you. an indulgent smile rests on your lips, but he knows you love this; his broad chest against your back, the heat of the kotatsu warming your feet. breathing in the fading scent of your shampoo, he leaves a peck on the sensitive spot right behind your ear, and you try not to shudder.

then satoru smiles. squeezing you, lightly, sweetly, eyes rich with honeyed affection. voice dripping with playful endearment. ”there we go,” he coos. ”what does my angel want for christmas, hm?” 

”i want you to stop stealing my peppermint sweeteners,” comes your answer. instantaneous.

silence fills the room. a moment passes. outside your frosted windows, a bird takes flight from the branches of your apricot tree. and satoru clicks his tongue.

”… santa can only do so much, baby.”

two deep scoffs fill the air, heavy and bemused. one from you, one from suguru. satoru only giggles.

”just kidding!” he chirps, planting a kiss on the top of your head. ”don’t you worry. santa’ll give you all the peppermint sweeteners you could ever want.” 

you raise a brow, exhaling amusedly. craning your head to meet his gaze. ”and he won’t end up using them all himself?”

”of course not! blasphemy.” 

a moment passes.

”… maybe one or two. as a treat.”

a string of protests slips from your lips, and satoru tries not to burst into a fit of giggles. suguru just watches, silently, smiling lightly as he pours hot coffee into two ceramic cups. steam wafting up to the ceiling, a cat jumping down from the couch to curl up in his lap. he places one in front of you, not taking a single sip of his own until he hears you hum blissfully at the taste — pink lips against white ceramic. a bitter taste on his tongue, sweetened by your approval.

then he starts peeling three satsumas, absentmindedly, and satoru swallows down the love-ridden honey choking up the back of his throat. pretending the domesticity of such a simple action doesn’t melt his heart down to the marrow. 

he turns his attention towards the window. frost sticking to the glass like spider-woven webs, soon to be melted by the glow of the mellow winter sunrays. flitting in through the translucent curtains, cascading over the room, splattering across the floorboards. framing the hue of your hair, the smile on suguru’s lips.

and a memory comes to him. sudden, hazy, faded at the edges. ghosting his subconscious. eerie, in a way.

he remembers the frost, the biting wind, the frightening majesty of the snow that fell that day. breaking into his world through a rift in the stratosphere. he remembers the contrasting warmth of the person who held him, who cradled him close; the soft lull of a woman’s voice. 

for a moment, satoru thinks he can almost, almost see it before him. hear those gentle words, see her tired smile. why was she always so tired?

(look, satoru. isn’t it pretty?)

— he can’t recall how it sounded. if it was melodic and soft, or raspy and broken, happy or sad. but he does recall that it made him feel safe. safe enough to find comfort in a sight so other-worldly, so very foreign.

it should’ve been frightening, but it wasn’t. the first snowfall satoru ever saw knocked the breath from out his lungs, stole his heart with cold hands, left him with a suffocating nostalgia. but the memory is precious.

and now, he feels that sense of other-worldliness in this; a kotatsu for three, a warm house, peeled satsumas and promises of a christmas cake soon to be baked. one lovely spouse in his lap, the other gazing at him with that fond look he always assumes goes unnoticed. a cocoon of safety — a ghost he doesn’t need to chase anymore.

warmth. enough warmth to make up for the snow and frost outside your home, all the experiences he missed out on as a child. warmth, warmth, warmth. funny, how that happens to be satoru’s favorite thing about winter. 

he looks at the two of you, hoping you won’t pay any mind to his silence. for once, he hopes you’ll stay wrapped up in your awful, awful coffee, so bitter that just looking at it makes his throat feel dry. just so he can get away with admiring you for a little longer. from the contours of suguru’s face, to the skin of your collarbone, to the rings on your fingers. ones he put there himself. 

and ah, satoru thinks, there it is again. again and again, as always, forever. that warm, warm feeling flourishing in the depths of his chest. 

he hopes it never goes away.

[ravenousgoblin]

ive decided to kill steven. how, i am currently unsure of

i have been hurting all day for vagina and other bodily reasons. steven knows ive been hurting and even offered me to go home early whenever sergio got there. i took this bc i felt so gross.

sergio’s shift starts at 930pm on sunday and monday. he is always a few minutes late, usually no more than 15.

so, steven says i can leave when sergio gets here so he lets me count down my drawer at 920. except, the new girl got to leave early too bc she stayed last night when the overnight associate called in(he also called in today smh)

its 920, steven knows i have a holy fuckton of coins in my drawer bc people were dicks today. so i’m trying to count and he fucks off to ‘start 3rd shift stuff’ instead of taking customers while i count my drawer. he tells me to just take everyone on his drawer.

this wouldn’t be so bad if this wasn’t the case e v e r y time. he always does this. i’m tired of jumping back and forth between my counting and 8 fuckign customers in line bc steven decided its fine to let me handle counting my fuckload heavy drawer, taking customers, AND doing my paperwork at the same time

i might strangle him just to watch the light leave his eyes as i choke the life out of him.

idk. haven’t decided yet

[tragicomedys]

oh i am so STUPID clearly i just have to WATCH HAIKYUU.

[princeofyorkshire]

i literally want to die

[queermarzipan]

Jan: Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low. Okay so I'm. I'm gonna. Be the manager of an Extremely Famous Singer. Okay. @urlocalrockstar hear that I'm your manager now we're gonna go WAY past RTÉ. I see your name in LIGHTS💥 (Everyone listen to Ethanol by The Hex btw they have one (1) song out so far and it's SO GOOD to blast and sing along to)

Feb: Sigh No More (feat. Hannah Warren Green & Natalie Thomas) - Joshua Berg, Hannah Warren Green, Adam James. Is this a fucked-up metaphor for Macbeth's last showing being on the 10th of February. I feel like this is a fucking metaphor for not having David Tennant's Macbeth performances that I cannot go to hanging over me anymore. This is literally from the soundrack of ANOTHER SHAKESPEARE PLAY HE STARRED IN. Fuck's SAKE

Mar: Souvenir - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. WAIT ARE WE KEEPING WITH THE METAPHORS. Is this, the fucking theme from the last play I performed with my youth theatre, trying to tell me that the date for our Romeo and Juliet is in March?? Our director literally came back TWO WEEKS AGO. I am going to be SO MAD if that turns out to be the case oh my fuck. Excepting that, um. Well. I think it's safe to say. The Brainrot Continues. Maybe I write fic actually – my direction, my proposal... that'd be fucking GREAT.

Apr: Sigh No More (Bonus Track) - Catherine Tate, David Tennant. SORRY WHAT. HOW DID I NOT FUCKING REALISE THAT THEY SANG THIS COVER. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK anyway guys this is cLEARLY a sign of slipping deep back into a Shakespeare obsession, possibly by watching David Tennant's Richard III, because obviously I'm not ceasing the Sighing anytime soon. (Listen to this guys oh my god I can hear that it's them now and it makes it 1000% better than it already was my ears are SINGING)

May: Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls. Oooooo. I'm?? Going travelling?? And finding peace with life?? Go me! (Istg if this is something to do with Barbie. Istg if there are ANY MORE METAPHORS)

Jun: We Go Together (Bonus Track) - David Tennant, Catherine Tate. I meet my soulmate??? Or something??? Only one way to really interpret this lmao😂 (Also everyone LISTEN TO THIS) (!!!!!!!!! It is SO GOOD guys I promise) (I know I'm biased shuddup)

Jul: All Die Young - Smith Westerns. This is just. How I feel. All the time, if I think about it. Usually it's just sort of background?? (Istg if this is about the UMBRELLA ACADEMY.)

Aug: Therapy - Andrew Garfield, Vanessa Hudgens. My newly-acquired soulmate and I have a heart-to-heart about a bad argument and go to therapy to resolve our issues. Lmao

Sep: Across The Universe - Remastered 2019 - The Beatles. I get... really introspective?? I get Wanderlust?? I get picked up by the Doctor?? Who knows? Not me! This is a RIDICULOUSLY abstract song for this exercise lmao. Oh my god this better not refer to Doctor Who actually. NO. FUCK

Oct: Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley. LMAO. Things with the soulmate are going well!! FAKKSGKS

Nov: We Are Young (feat. Janelle Monáe) - fun., Janelle Monáe. Oh okay Something Happened with the soulmate but it's okay bc I have my friends ❤❤ and we're mending it slowly 💔💔 and also drinking to overthrowing the government 🔥🔥

Dec: The Long Song - From "Doctor Who" series 7 - Murray Gold. 😭😭😭😭😭omg. I'm. This is for me??? I'm. I cannot interpret this any other way than You Get The Break Of A Lifetime And Get To Live Fully, You Tired, Lovely Person 😭😭😭😭😭 I'm honestly having trouble applying this song to myself I. Holy fuckign shit

@ anyone who wants to participate, I've already tagged all my moots in This Exact Exercise lmao

i wanna start a tag game so: let your spotify predict your 2024!

shuffle your on repeat playlist, and the first twelve songs represent your 2024

january- guns and ships- hamilton (idek what this could represent but okay)

february- we fell in love in october- girl in red (PLEASE)

march- say no to this- hamilton (…i have nothing to say about this)

april- castles crumbling- taylor swift ft hayley williams (damnit sad month then?)

may- you’re losing me- taylor swift (FUCK TWO SAD MONTHS?? breakup songs are even worse now that im actually in a relationship. please. better not be accurate)

june- astronomy- conan gray (please stop why am i having so many sad songs)

july- stoned- ed sheeran (oh fuck this)

august- new year’s day- taylor swift (hm okay. idk what to say about this)

september- heather- conan gray (i consider heather to be a happy song AND it’s mine and my partners song so i’m taking this as a good one)

october- 18- one direction (yessss we’re going okay now)

november- king of my heart- taylor swift (YESSS)

december- all too well (ten minute version)- taylor swift (i take it back ugh)

no pressure tags!!- @autumnleavesforwinter @weeping-in-the-willows @swiftieannah @felizusnavidad @jittyjames @anixknowsnothin (please help me get this off the ground, but also if this flops you saw nothing)

[joshriku]

hi! I really enjoyed your last cherik fic list, you have great taste. do you have more recs about old cherik? maybe also some post dark phoenix (I mean, they were supposed to be old but they forgot lol). only when you have the time!

you're so lovely omg thank you! i do!! here u go

get out of town by firstlightofeos: i recently read this and it's so fucking good omg. i am not immune to tropes where a 3rd character has to be like 'can you guys get over yourselves and FUCK' and especially if it's old men cherik :sob: OF ALL PEOPLE. THEY NEED IT SO BADç

all you are made of by fengirl88: oghgojoOGH theres this bit:

“Two minutes to make you drop it,” Charles says, mock-outraged. “I must be losing my touch.”

“Menace,” Erik says lovingly, “stop distracting me.”

IT REALLY LIKE......FUCKS UP WITH MY MENTAL HEALTH...........LIKE SHUT UP HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH. IM GOING TO DIE

tempus fugit by franzbibliotek: the character writing on this one is so fucking insane. you have to work with me here bc this is comic cherik and comics just have things happen in them. . anyway charles comes back from the dead after stealing a body that's like in it's mid 30s, jsut, your casual stuff. anyway. holy shit. charles' inner monologue on this mmmmmwah im fucking obssessed

pillow talk by pearl_o: i might have recced this already BUT IT BEGS RECCING AGAIN this is literally my favorite kind of fics where they just. lie next to each other. talk for a while. they're old and in love :(

a day when we can finally rest by pocky_slash: i am no timmune to fics where they depict how long they both have waited and waited to be together because it makes me cry ok. wow. love can thrive and continue and they jsut lvoe each other so much :( FUCK!!!!!

pity the man by franzbibliothek: this is kinda angsty i will warn you since i usually just read happy stuff but it's GOOD ok. pre dark phoenix when charles is just like on his 90th mental breakdown,. my g od. the way op writes charles. you get it.

adventures in babysitting (worried grandpa remix) by sebastian2017: literally my favorite thing about erik is that he's a grandpa. okay. it might be bc tommy is my fave character but i am just,,,,,,,,SOBSBSBS... DO U KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

one night in westchester by brotherfromanothermother: this is literally the funniest fuckign fic in the world. just. old man magneto buying condoms. it makes me cry. i lvoe it

close enemies by andraste: i might have recced this? MAYBE? but this is animated series cherik. and if i have recced it..THEN ILL DO IT AGAIN. THOSE SAVAGE LAND EPISODES WERE INSANE

habitual by xtinethepirate: i love dark phoenix cherik. i love erik in this fic. i like when fic writers write erik caring for charles but not being overly indulging like he Is willing to call him out. ESPECIALLY post dp cherik. SO GOOD.

marks by unforgotten: i love. i love. love the idea of erik 'kidnapping' charles and him being too busy grading to pay attention to him. which offends him greatly. i think magneto should always be funny and dramatic.

necessary downtime by unforgotten: AND THEYRE MARRIED. OOOH MY GOD THEY WERE MARRIED. not related to me also being a teacher but i love when it's just fics like charles being really tired from school work. he's so me. that's also me. finally realistic mcs

fossils (the something old, something new remix): AHHGHGHG I LTIERALYJL CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF FICS WHERE THEY GET TO ENJOY BEING MARRIED LIKE. ITS SO GOOD. IT MAKES ME CRY SO MUCH . MAYBE OLD MEN IN LOVE ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THERAPY..? JURY IS OUT ON THIS ONE

rue de la paix by ireliss: (THROWIGN UP AND CRYING) GOODNESS. MOURNING. OLD MEN. TOUCH STARVED CHARACTERS. IT CANT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS. post dark phoenix

everything about it is a love song: if i told you how many times i cried reading this id have to be taken out and immobilized. it's bad out here. it is really bad out here!!!!! (ITS A REALLY GOOD FIC!! I LOVE IT!!) it's probably one of my fave old men fic ever just like someplace that is green which was on my other post but its osjhfddohfdj ITS OSO OGHG OGGH OGH!!!!!!

sing me to sleep: i love dofp cherik. I do. i love them so fukcing bad i love seeing those old men reunited and helping each other and being deeply in love despite the world going to shit it is SO deeply personal to me this fi ci ss os much.

the o(l)dd couple: i love fics that involve the press and such reactions to Them. and outsider pov is always so enjoyable. i love this fic i think its one of the first few i read?? SO GOOD

into the open by clockworkrobots: i just. this fic is so good. it's like the first fic i bookmarked almost. the tag erik's gay socialist farm island cracks me up every time then ir ead this and i sob and cry again fr

hope u enjoy!!

[lizandbo]

cooking dates w/ hq bois

Nishinoya

 - Cooking with him is like: fucking sonic in the kitchen lemme tell ya 

- some flour on the floor? Ok who th fuckn cares ill even step in it if i have to- AND OOPS i kinda have to cuz he had no space to put anything becuase he’s having th ewhole kitchen a disaster and now you have to parkour just to get to the other side of the kitchen 

- thats how bad it is

- he was trying to make some chicken noodle soup 

-  ya know the ol’ classic 

- but this is a new one

- like the taste of it is way too over powering- way too much seasoning

- all he wanted is to make you feel better with his cooki g but its hard to feel happy becuase some how its...spicy? And he shoved the spoon in your mouth while its like 100 degrees 

- so lie ya tearin up and each time you open your mouth literal SMOKE comes out your mouth

- “do you like it?- HOLY SHIT ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?”

- ‘YEAHH- I’m just a lil... h-hoot”

- “hoot?”

- “HOT”

- “oh//do you want me to make the whole soup again?”

- “hell no, this is enough for like 8 peeps”

- “LETS HAVE A PARTY”

- “WHY-NO- WERE HAVING A FUCKIGN DATE”

- “oh yeah forgot about that”

Osamu

 - mr. i know fucking everything about cookin

- he’s not controlling he’s just “making sure you follow the directions”

- but at the same time he’s like “directions are for dweebs tho”

- ok ya buddy go ahead and prep this meal totally not a date 

- but he chill tho, just a lil harsh 

- but if you do a thing wrong thats what his face looks like^^

- he’s dream goal is to be a top chef in L.A ok?

- when the time comes to put the salmon in the oven (idk if you put th salmon in the oven or in a skillet or something- help)

- he kiss attacks you 

- for the 30 mins or whatever how many minutes you put it in there for idk, osamu knows talk to him. 

- anyways, when you pull it out 

- it smells sooo fucking good

- and he got the lil cocky smirk on his face which he rarely has 

- his lil teeny tiny wheezy heart is filled with pride- let him have his time

Asahi

- when you stared cooking he joined and now its suddenly a dateXD

- once you were flipping the eggs cuz ya know “ya gotta have that protein!”

- you saw his face as being either lazy, loveing/lovesick or confused or impatient 

- but whatever it was it was funny 

- “hey babe, your like ‘ine miney mo, cut the fucking crap and lets go’ kinda mood huh?”

- “what?no, i wasn’t I’m just pretty tired”

- “okie dokie, I’m just checking”

- “well actually I’m just checking you out cuz whenever your not in my arms you send me a meme every few minutes so i was concerned”

- “ASAHIII”

- “its the truth tho” 

- here, can you pass me the salt, and oh-pass your classes too”

- “b-babe”

- you two have a laughing fit until you smelled something burning 

- “THE EGGSSSSS”

- “y/n please be careful! Dont burn your self 

- “i ain’t no chicken”

- “but i am gonna be a burnt chicken so i guys you are right”

- and now you have to make your egg again </3

[kunaigirl]

Ok you know what??? I am getting SO SICK and SO TIRED of hearing about these fucking priests/religious ANYONES blaming everything wrong that happens in the world on the existence of gay people. I am SO. SICK. OF. IT. This isn't a joke. It was never a joke. I'm SO sick of it. AND IT NEVER FUCKING ENDS. EVERY TIME something really bad happens. EVERY. TIME. And people honestly believe them??? 

“Oh hey you over there!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! What? You’re just a human and didn’t do anything besides breathe?? THIS IS ALL YOUR FALT AND WE HATE YOU AND WANT YOU AND YOUR KIND ALL DEAD.” No. I don’t give a shit. This is the LAST fuckign straw. People are dying, illness is spreading. Misinformation and hostile political climates are factoring into this at alarming rates. But YEAH it’s us gay people’s fault COVID19 exists. It totally is. wow. so smart, so holy. Good job. good FUCKING job. 

[givemefreeshit]

What are your partners like? The other Ricks?

They’re really nice guys. I mean, we’re all the quote-enquote “stupid ones” because not being a complete asshole is stupid, I guess?

First, there’s Cop. Dimension K-9. He’s... his dimension got fucked up by another Rick, but he assumed he was closer to the norm, so he came to the Citadel of Ricks to go into law enforcement there. He thought he was going to make a change there. He’s... really nice for a Rick. He doesn’t necessarily have a lot of confidence in himself though. Still. Strong sense of right and wrong.

And he’s also dating-- well, the Ricks call him Doofus Rick, we just call him Zeta. So, yeah, J-19-Z-7. He came by my bar a lot, not really to drink, but more to hang out? I mean, the guy fucking cured cancer, but he still thinks he’s stupid and a “bad Rick”, but like... fuck that.

There’s also DC, or Daycare Rick, dimension B-608. He ran a storage-daycare facility during the Pocket Mortys fad. I mean, say what you want, but he took care of the Mortys that Ricks just... abandoned and left with him. He’s pretty tired and bitter, but like... most of us are bitter. He’s a funny bastard though.

Just, really, we’ve been close for... years. We didn’t really have anyone but each other out there.

They aren’t my only partners now, but holy shit am I glad I got them off the Citadel.

sorry for the shitty not quite answers though because i just got a major fuckign headache halfway through typing this

[helloemptyset]

oh i am so so tired of being treated like i don’t know shit and that i can’t take care of myself and that im too stupid to exist because holy shit! im not a fucking child! stop treating me like im too stupid to handle situations, especially when you often just leave me alone to do all the house chores so you can play fucking video games!

oooh no my stupid big brother got bit by a dog because the two dogs were fighting and he had to stop them, well he’s too stupid to know he’s hurt! of course i know im hurt, if i respond you guys panic more!

( oh, and wannabe stepfather, guess what! you can’t be mad at me when i don’t want the garbage you were gonna put on my bleeding puncture wound, okay! its my fuckign body and im not letting any guy do anything to it im not happy with again! EVER! get mad at me for having bodily autonomy and i’ll rip your face off your skull)

[electricfranken]

OK READ MORE BECAUSE IW AS ALREADY COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS ON TWITTER AND SEEING THAT POST MADE ME SALTY AGAIN

Ok. ok. im acknowledging right now that i fucking hate capitalism but im living in it so i have these experiences and these fucking big ass pet peeves about people. i swear to fucking god. i hate most of my coworkers so much. 

some of them are so fucking lazy. like yesterday right as i came in this girl, who had been fucking STANDING THERE, doing nOTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!! runs out like immediately, doesnt restock anything, doesnt change the food, which means i have to pick up her fuckiNG SLACK.... ON TOP OF MAKING HER FOOD FOR HER

like if youre seriously gonna just stand there and babble on about bullshit youre a uselss person and incredibly inconsiderate like seriously? my one coworker legit said these exact words to me “wow, you just came in and you’re already doing your job” LIKE ?!????!>?>!?@?!>@?! WHAT !??>?@>!?@>?!>@<>1,/.W,./1./2 WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN !??>@!?>?!!>?@>?!

i couldnt help it i jsut said like “thats whats supposed to happen !!!’ and he looked at me like oh... LIKE BRO.... DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT MAKES MY LIFE WHEN PEOPLE DONT DO SHIT... I COULDNT HELP IT YESTERDAY they left me with like NO tinfoil and NO kids meals assembled last night when i fucking ASKED THE CLOSER IF HE WANTED ME TO DO ANYTHING AND HE SAID NO

SO BASICALLY I JUST ENDED UP DOING IT THE NEXT DAY ANYWAY, WHICH I HONESTLY WHOULD HAVE EXPECTED... BUT ITS LIKE HONESTLY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SPELL IT OUT FOR EVERY SINGLE MORON THAT MY BOSS HIRES. am i like some kind of common sense master ??????? i feel like i should just be a fucking manager at this point but if i WERE a manager id be getting fucking $14 an hour and right now i get like 10 so honestly whats the fucking point. for more grief? having to deal with these high school goofballs all the time??? nope. 14 is not worth it. not even a little bit

all i know is i fuckign hate this job so much everybody in the establishment is braindead and i pick up their slack constantly. i ask them to do shit and they fuc it up and do it the wrong way so i have to REDO it. i try to help them and make their life easier but they DONT DO THE SAME FOR ME...... they fucking CALL OUT LIKE THREE TIMES A WEEK AND SO WE’RE UNDERSTAFFED AND I DO TWICE THE WORK.... im quitting or going on loa soon anyway so like... the grief will be gone soon.... but holy fuck... i feel like i have so much inner rage now because of these shit jobs i work. also public transit but thats not what im talking about right now.

if anybody managed to read this far i IMPLORE YOU if you work a job or plan to in the future if you fuck your coworkers over youre the worst kind of person and i hate you. take some fucking responsibility and do what youre supposed to do, if not for the money, then for your coworkers, because its impossibly tiring doing what feels like two peoples jobs everyday. thank you thats it fuck chipotle

[legisaskerator]

vent vent vent

buckle up bastards this is gonna be long as FUCK

holy fucking shit my life yhas been so goddamn hard recently and i’m not handling it well

first and foremost on my mind at this second is the fact that i am in so much fucking pain right now i do not know what to do. my EDS is acting up really really badly and i’m super bedridden right now. i took my last vicodin and i have no idea when i can get more, or how, and i have like nothing to help. i had to leave class today to weep in the fuckin bathroom because i can barely walk and even sitting up is a struggle. if i felt this sort of pain three years ago i would have likely considered doing something VERY rash to stop it and i’m amazed i’m still, almost functioning. i can barely think i’m in agony i want it to end

i’m so scared this is just the next turn that eds is taking. i know i wont ever get better but fuck, i dont want to need a mobility aid yet. i’m only fucking 22 i have to be a teacher!!! how can i fucking teach if i cant write on a board?? or maneuver around classrooms? how will i ever get a job? or even just. live in the house of my dreams. i wish there was some help for me because i am tired of ehlers danlos running my life. i am scared for my future. i cant imagine who i will become if this level of pain becomes my “normal”. someone move me to mass so i can get legal weed to try to numb myself

on the same path of injury, my mother recently injured herself very badly and was hospitalized for a little w hile. ended up needing surgery to put rods and screws and plates in her leg/ankle, and as a result, she’s not functioning for the next 12 weeks. i’m doing my best to help out aroudn the house and i’m filling in for her at work. she does advertising for a newspaper and brings the papers to subscribing businesses,, which i’m taking over now. at least i like driving?

i love my mom and i will do anythign to help her, but god it’s such a load on my shoulders. i’m  upset and frustrated because i’m strugtgling to balance my life around this sudden responsibility. it’s definitely not her i’m upset about, it’s not like she did this purposefully??? she needs the help and i am willing to give it. but i am also allowed to feel these emotions. i am upset at the /situation/. her boyf and my sister are barely helping and they’re neglectful and distant. i’m the only emotionally present one in the family and also (aside from mom) am the only nurturing, caring one in the household. i keep her from having panic attacks, i keep her anxiety down, i’m warm and i try so goddamn hard to make sure shes ok. but it’s exhausting. i’m keeping my family together it feels like, everythings crashing down and i’m the only “sane” one. which is sad because ive been a depressed wreck for weeks and have been working on scraping myself off the fucking pavement, trying to get out of the spiral. i’m scared that my mom relies so much on me. she tells me everything, things i don’t want to hear. relationship troubles primarily. i know i give great advice and am ~wise beyond my years~ (thanks trauma) but, that’s what her therapist is for. i’ve told her i wish she would, tell me less, because as her daughter it’s uncomfortable, and she always overreacts like “oh i’ll never tel you anything again if it’s so terrible then” and i end up feeling fucking awful, and it’s a nightmare. but if things keep going the way they are in their relationship (i’m not gonna spill deets because, privacy still) we might lose our house!!! and everything we’ve finally worked for!!

so i feel like, if i can’t fix this problem, it’ll be my fault our lives come crashing down.

i know that’s ridiculous. it’s not my job. 

but it still feels like it

i never feel like i’m doing enough. just in life in general. i’m not good enough i’m not working hard enough i just am not enough. i was very saturated with child prodigy shit when i was younger and that fucked up my psyche so much. it’s still thrown at me by my father, americas got talent and movies where the protag is a ~genius~. i hate it. ill never be that and i know that’s what my dad wants of me. i’m not the next bill gates i just want to be a teacher and live my life!!!! i don’t want to start a band and get famous!!!! i dont want to run a business!! i don’t want to revolutionize the world!! just let me please! follow my heart!!!!!! i can’t fucking stand it when he tries to tell me what to do with my life it makes me want to scream and wail and sjafkl; fd fjasfg;akldf

i can’t do this, man. 

i’m so alone. i’m sick of the slut life. i’ve been hoeing around for a year and it’s taking a massive toll on my self esteem and sanity. i’s a terrible coping mechanism and i’m very very not healthy about it. i only have sex when i’m heavily under the influence of something and use it as a way of getting attention, which is, awful. i often forgo protection because it’s ~inconvenient~ and the second a guy protests, i’ll cave because i ~live to please~ and don’t want to start shit. i can’t keep doing this. hooking up is the only time people ever touch me. i just want a fuckign hug sometimes

i keep seeing so many posts like “you can’t love another if you don’t love yoursel!” and “people aren’t your medicine” but what if??? they can be to an extent?? part of being uber depressed is self-isolation and i’m so, sick of it. i need some fucking comfort because right now i am suffering through my life alone and it’s so difficult. it’s not as easy as just, settling though. i’m picky with my lovers because?? i deserve someone good? everyone that’s been coming through my life like, has a fatal flaw that i just can’t do. like long term compatability is risked for me with that shit.like, too introverted, too emotionally distant, people who just aren’t smart, i can’t do it?? i just want someone who’s going to comfort me when i need it, who i can have a healthy debate with, and someone who respects my life choices and things i do. 

i’ve been talking to one guy recently who, i was hoping maybe could have been a potential. he’s super nice and considerate/respectful, hes HELLA smart, adores a bunch of the same stuff i’m into, we talk really well together, i feel comfortabgle around him, gotta say he’s hot as fuck too...and he just wants friends with benefits. I respect that. i was in a similar spot literally last semester, there was a pretty great guy but i just wasn’t in the right space for a relationship. so friends with benefits. i don’t blame this new guy for not wanting a relationship he has every right!! but oh god it hurts a little. i worry that it’s me, that i’m just a good pussy for him, or a convenient lay who’s down to clown like 99% of the time. he’s been talking to me less recently and i’m worried that he’s...done with me. idk if that’s true or if i’m just reading into it but i’m in a VERY vulnerable place right now in my life, and i really need someone by my side for it. i need the support and warmth. 

i wish my warmth would comfort me. i wish i could turn my nurturing attitude around and help myself. i wish i didn’t need smoene else for comfort. i’m a fuckin libra tho i live for romance

this guys’ great though. i hope he sticks around at least for a little bit longer. i want to learn more bout lovecraft.

my sluttiness is my biggest qualm with myself right now. it’s definitely a huge problem in my life, it’s actively causing me problems. my one friend (because, i have only one fucking friend i can actually talk to. that’s it i hAVE ONE i’m so goddamn l,onely) has been like, coaching me through making better decisions? i’m very impulsive and he’s got great advice and is quick to be like “then don’t” and shit. i’m trying really hard to make sure i dont use him as a therapist though, that’s unfair to him. i’m respectful and all that shit don’t worry bout htat. he’s a huge help to me and has been my absolute rock through college, idk where i’d be without him. he also introduced me to his friend group, who are all really amazing people? they welcomed me with open arms and no ones ever done that before. i’m always super outcasted cause i’m weird and i wont hide it because it’s ME goddamnit! but these people, they’re weird too, they’re freaks and outcasts and, while they’ve all been very close friends since they were wee tots, they still welcomed me in. they still wanted me to be part of them. i’m getting to know all of them still, but i’ve got hope that, maybe i’ve got some lifelong friends now. at the very least, i’m sure i’ve got one. 

onto phase 4 of my fuckin monologue i guess, topic SHIFT

my thesis is a mess and it’s due in three weeks, i’ve barely gotten anything done because my teacher is awful and i’m worried i’m gonna fail the course

which would be SUPER bad because, i’ve had this teacher too many times and we do not get along, she loathes my existence, and i really just need to get out. shes partly the reason i need an extra fucking year at school and i always DREAD going to her class. it’s humiliating and discouraging to spend three hours every monday there. no one else likes this professor, they’re only here becuase the school loooooves the researchers and writers. complaints dont matter. all of my other classes are fine but this one has been probably the worst, most emotionally devastating class i’ve ever taken

i don’t even get to write about a topic i want. i was forced to write about the play i was in, instead of Monty Python like i wanted (it’s a fucking comedy class!!!!!) the play is about SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (we won some national awards teehee it’s an outstanding play). yes it’s a “black comedy” but not really? it’s a drama with comedic moments? and i KNOW THIS cause i’ve been studying comedy with this professor for like three cumulative years at this point. i’m struggling beacuse there’s zero research, zero information, and has to be over 20 pages long??? like fuck? i’m so fucked

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk. i’ve been wanting to make a vent post for like weeks but i haven’t had the time or energy and , i really needed to just....get this out. i feel a little better having all the words down. there’s still so much else going wrong in my life that i could talk about, all the car troubles, my other classes, dorm shit, but, it doesn’t matter in the light of these issues. i can get through this. i just gotta keep fighting. 

oh and if anyones like, worried, i’m not suicidal, i’m not going to do that, there’s no chance of that hpapening. i’m in a very bad place but i’m never gonig back there if i can fucking help it