#i am so excited for the neverland plot i remember this part!

[muse-write]

I’m 15 minutes into S3 and it’s already started off strong. A random Rumple wardrobe change lampshaded by Hook, great moments between the Charmings, and our first look at the uncaring childish cruelty of Neverland.

[fictionfixations]

hhhi guys wanna see me talk about what anime/manga i like

ok

so

my mal page looked kind of boring so i decided 'why not talk about what im fixating on'

and then it. expanded from there... (to be honest i think i just like yapping about anything and everything to people)

so im.

if i ever say a word that doesnt make sense. or well is typed then just know. that probably isnt meant to be there but i wasnt paying attention

also if i drop a line of thought suddenly. know that it is because i started typing on a different part because i kept hopping onto different areas and adding things that i mightve forgotten to go back to because i kept getting hit with thoughts on what to add

----

Current Fixations: Twisted Wonderland, Lout of Count's Family, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint??? (i wanna get into it), Honkai: Star Rail uhh i cant remember anything else (i am slowly crumbling into a mess of sobbing noises as i delve deeper into the stories)

Potential: Debut or Die???? It seems interesting so far but I'm worried about how wacky idol drama might be. (..I remember googling something about it and there's just something about Park Moondae and.. pADS? or like tampons idk? And I'm pretty sure it's made up for drama (in story) but ??????) I really really like Dungeon Meshi. It's not something that's consumed my life that it makes up a lot of what I think of so uh not what I consider a fixation, but I like it and am excited to see it continued. (Yes I know there's a finished manga but I don't wanna get spoiled! This is genuinely a show I got into WITHOUT SPOILERS?? Which is insane because I usually get hit with MAJOR spoilers (end game type lol) that then make me think 'oh cool, that happens?' and makes me watch. But Dungeon Meshi had NONE OF THAT! I like cooking animes A LOT and just found it so I decided to get into it. It was great and I was not expecting there to suddenly be plot in my cooking anime but I don't hate it, it's really cool. I'm hyped.) Also Apothecary Diaries is great. I didn't get spoiled on that one either, I just got into it thinking it'd be something I could just put in the background (I did have it open though in dub so trying to pay attention while doing other stuff) and then it turned out to be actually really good. So, wow. The Promised Neverland season one was PEAK, best thing ever. Season two, uhh... (I did read the manga for that one though!) It also made me understand why MAL separates seasons, which made me very annoyed when I first made an account trying to add everything I watched and trying to add all the MHA seasons barely remembering which one had which. All Saints Street is cozy to watch. I have like the 3rd favorited because of that one episode where they're at like a play or something and Neil (with the help of like the Demon King I think??) suddenly busts out this really cool move. I want to read it's manga (listen I'm going to refer to it as manga because that's the term I'm used to otherwise I will be so confused) but MAL doesn't have that entry..?? It was in whatever state it's called when they're added but you can't interact with it because it's not added added. And now I can't find it so unfortunate. Apparently it has more gayness??

My thing is that I get fixated on something and devour so much content regarding it, and then drop it like a month later with little to no interest. Sometimes I come back to it but not as into it. (Sometimes I stay with it longer then that but I have my finger in a LOT of different fandom pies.)

Things I wanna get into: Black Butler, One Piece, Heaven's Official Blessing, Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (something like that i forgot the name), Bleach, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, I'm Not That Kind of Talent, Naruto, Honkai Impact 3rd I went through Persona 3 Reload but I haven't seen the anime-related stuff to it yet. Have no idea what happens in The Answer. Vanitas no Carte. I watched one season and then stopped because I wanted to watch it while super focusing because I wanted to really pay attention. ..And then I never started. I wanna see what the hype about Nier:Automata is about but for the life of me I just can't get into it. Kind of want to get into Pokemon but I think I'm way too many years late on that train. Also I've started blanking out on what's going on with the.. Horizons?? Anime?? The new Pokemon anime.

Was fixated on but kinda not so much now? (Still keeping up with it): Oshi no Ko, My Hero Academia, Jujtusu Kaisen, Bungo Stray Dogs

Manga I want to read: Toilet-Bound Hanako Kun?? I saw the anime but that apparently skipped some arcs and then I never got into reading it. I finished Hunter x Hunter's anime and wanted to get into the manga to continue from it but then I never did it so oops but I don't remember what happened. Haha did I mention I forget things easy? ..Maybe Solo Leveling? I watched the anime but I honestly don't like the appearance change. It's probably just because of preference since it's not bad it's just not a thing I like. But I feel like I should because it is probably interesting maybe???? S-Classes That I Raised. I think the being looked down upon because 'so and so' would break me but TIME TRAVEL? Also story because goddamn like the beginning part?

Old fixations but will still like: Assassination Classroom was great to me. Ending always got me crying, and I like interacting with stuff related to it. Violet Evergarden is 10/10 always makes me cry even on rewatch, what a masterpiece. There's also Demon Slayer which I know the ending of but I really like seeing it brought to life in the anime. Hyped for the movies but also hell because movies take so long to appear in a streaming platform and already spoilers. Movie quality is crazy though so excited. Anyone remember that one fan animation of Zenitsu AND* (i said x but not in a shippy way but an 'and' way and i realize it could be taken the wrong way SO) Kaigaku or something that looked genuinely like an actual thing?? There's Spy x Family's movie which I haven't been spoiled yet but AHHHH. Danganronpa was a big fixation I had for awhile to be honest. Yuri on Ice was SO GOOD??? I do this thing where something gets popular and so I avoid it as much as I can. And then I turn around late to the party and get into it. I shouldn't but I do. I can't believe I didn't get into it when it got super big but I also probably wouldn't really remember what happened by then. Genshin Impact consumed my life until I ran out of storage so I got into Honkai: Star Rail. I'm not too too into Genshin anymore but trying to keep up with it? Kind of?

Dead fixation??: Fairy Tail I think was one of the first few anime I ever watched and I loved it so much. And also I don't remember anything that happened so... I kind of got into EDENS ZERO but I'm not that fixated and I'm not the biggest fan of fanservice. That one episode where, well, spoilers, but y'know the one where suddenly everything is going wrong and people are dying and then it turns out it's like a weird sort of power the protagonist who I cannot remember the name of for the life of me but is like Lucy but other character?? Her?? has??? It got dark QUICK and that was cool to see. There was also Sword Art Online? I really liked it but I have no idea what's going on now. One of my favorites was like Gun Gale Online to be honest though.

it. was originally meant to be just current fixations. but then i thought isnt that too little??? so then i started talking about things i kinda liked but wasnt sure on and then it spiraled from there

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 9 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 9.6k

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, not really fluff but a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: miss jenn is a legend icon queen slay goddess (cited two times), iconic interactions between the cast, jealous ricky being a cutie, ricky and EJ are not bros yet, nini has gone from messy to borderline evil, your mom is a legend, kourtney anxiety foreshadowing, opening night/theatre vibes so strong it made me tear up a little /hj, lynne bowen is a horrible horrible toxic person!!!, todd jumpscare, ricky has a mental breakdown, EJ is trying his best but horribly misreads the situation, ricky is in a crisis, ricky bpd episode, art to cope :'), ricky has a good support system, reader is good in a crisis, nini is REALLY testing your patience, gina gets a well deserved moment to shine, terrible theatre etiquette, ricky gets emotionally ambushed, mike is a good dad, nini gets yelled at by reader (slay), reader yells at lynne (slay), reader gets slapped (in a dramatic way not a violent or sexy way), reader gets called a slut as an insult, ricky defends you, messy necessary screaming match (slay), things are said that cannot be unsaid :/

summary: opening night is just as magical and incredible as ricky hoped it would be, just as wonderful as you made it sound - until the worst case scenario comes to fruition. but the show must go on, right?

song recs: something about this night - finding neverland obc, twenty million people - my favorite year obc, opening up - waitress obc, twinkle in her eye - leann rimes, window seat - amelie obc, this is how I disappear (instrumental) - my chemical romance, un organo suona - ennio morricone, the music and the mirror - a chorus line obc, holding onto you - twenty one pilots, you oughta know - jagged little pill obc

other media: "art is not a luxury, it's sustinance" - ethan hawke ted talk clip, "and the way he sings sends a chill right through me" - lullaby for the taken lyric by kimya dawson, "what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to" - text post/poem by tumblr user vympr,

a/n: fangz to cici for reading!!! I felt like my immortal chapter 6 "paragraph" 4 while writing the last part trying not to under or overuse dialog tags lmao. remember when I said it's gonna get messy? it gets worse :)

tags @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

You and Ricky had been planning to get to the El Rey early on opening night since tech week, to make sure you have plenty of extra time to get ready, warm up, and get in character. Plus, you’ve been telling him how much you’ve missed just being in theaters, and near stages. The more time you’re there, the better. When you’re on the way over Ricky couldn’t shake the excitement gripping him. You can’t seem shake the feeling something was going to go wrong.

It was different from nerves, different from anxiety or worries that everyone can get before a big event. It was the same small, nudging feeling you got the night the basement flooded during your run in Matilda. It’s not as bad as it had been that time, but you take in a breath, steadying yourself and knowing you should be ready for anything. When you do, the feeling is quickly overshadowed by your excitement. You haven’t acted in far too long, and you’re ecstatic that you’ll get to perform again soon. 

Once you get to the theater, you and Ricky are the first to sign the sign in sheet. You draw a little smiley face next to his name, and when he glances back at you, eyes falling on the paper. He smiles, struck by sudden joy at the little face. He leans back over and grabs a pen, drawing a smiley next to your name on the line below. Miss Jenn glances down when he returns the pen. 

“Oh!” she exclaims, seeing the little faces, “How cute. I love this energy we’re creating.” she gestures vaguely before shooing you off to your respective dressing rooms to get ready. 

Soon everyone’s there, and you’re once again wrapped up in the familiar hustle and bustle of show nights. You and your castmates are simultaneously getting in costume, warming up, and trying to get ready while helping each other’s hair and makeup. Ashlyn and Nini join you in an impromptu karaoke session, singing your hearts out to Bop to the Top while Nina riffs and harmonizes. The boys, one or two rooms away, start singing Getcha Head in the Game at the same time. In spite of the chaotic cacophony of voices, it's both a good way to warm up, and a good outlet for the nervous energy growing, bouncing from one person to the next, turning electric. 

Kourney enters suddenly, grabbing some bobby pins.

"Do you know if you have any safety pins?" She asks.

"Uh," you pause doing your hair, tying it up into a bouncy low half updo, and fumble through your bag, "how many do you need?" 

"Two or three?" She says hopefully. No matter how many you buy, bobby pins and safety pins always seem to be in short supply at every theater you've been to. You dig around for a minute before finding them, handing them to Kourtney.

"Thank you!" She declares, "Seb's shirt just completely-"

"Has anyone seen my glasses?" Ashlyn asks, and Kourtney pauses, noticing she's not wearing them. 

"Shit," Kourtney mutters, both of you looking around for them.

"Knock knock!" Comes Seb’s voice from behind the door.

"Decent!" You and Ashlyn reply in unison. Seb enters, holding the side of his shirt together with his hands. 

"Any luck?" He asks Kourtney. 

"Right here," she replies, holding up the safety pins. "Turn around." Nina puts in her headphones and starts doing some vocal exercises and scales to warm up a little more. Seb lifts up his jacket so Kourtney can pin the ripped seam back together.

"Oh," she remembers, "have you seen Ashlyn’s glasses?"

"The really big ones?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Nope." He shrugs. She turns to Ashlyn. 

"We'll find them." Kourtney reassures her. Seb heads back to his dressing room he shares with Ricky and EJ, and you move on to the last few steps of your makeup routine. 

"Where are they?" Ashlyn huffs rhetorically. Natalie pokes her head in a moment later. 

"40 minutes till show time!"

"Thank you 40!" The three of you reply together. A little while later, you’re finally dressed and waiting for the glue on your eyelashes to get tacky, when you hear EJ call your name. You stumble out of your dressing room, zipping up your boot, and you’re greeted with EJ in his Chad costume, clearly in a huff. 

“Can you help me with my eyeliner?” he asks, a slightly petulant tone to his voice, handing you a black pencil. You laugh. 

“Yeah, hold on.” you go back into your dressing room, passing by Seb telling Kourtney something. You dig through your makeup bag as Seb reenters, Darbus glasses in hand, presenting them to Ashlyn. 

"Where were they?" She exclaims. 

"The prop table!" He says. 

"Why?" Ash asks, stating your thoughts exactly. 

"Natalie says they're technically a prop because in the detention scene when you…" you find what you're looking for, missing the tail end of his sentence as you leave a moment later with a stiff angled brush in hand. You grab EJ and lead him to the stairs where he can sit down. He does so, and you rub the bristles against the eyeliner, demonstrating for him. 

“This will make the application a lot more precise. Close your eyes…” you instruct, tilting his head back. You smudge the outside of his lash lines, careful not to make it look like too much. 

“Okay, now this is the scary part…” you trail off, gently lifting up his eyelid. “I swear I’m not going to stab you, just look down and don’t blink.” you instruct at the worried look on his face. You tight line the middle of his lash line for a defined, natural effect, then repeat the step on the other side. 

“Okay,” you say, pulling away to check that it looks even, unaware of Ricky standing a few feet away, watching you hold EJ’s face. You look so focused, and a twinge of jealousy flashes through his stomach, wishing you were holding his face, looking focused at him like that. 

“You should be good,” you say, and Ricky approaches, dragging you away as EJ thanks you.

“I just need to borrow her for a second.” he cuts EJ off, smiling tensely at him - one he returns. Ricky takes you a few feet away while EJ goes back into their dressing room. 

“What’s up?” you ask. He lets out a breathy laugh.

“I just… I can’t figure out this whole bronzer thing.” You bite back a smile. You know that  it’s bullshit, specifically because you went through his whole stage makeup routine with him twice last night. He could do his makeup and anyone else’s with one hand tied behind his back, so he obviously just wants your attention. You can’t deny that it’s really cute - and it’s working. He’s probably nervous, you figure. You chuckle, taking the brush from him. 

“Make a fish face,” you instruct, sucking in your cheeks and puckering your lips. His face mirrors yours, and you blend the product into his foundation. Your hand rests on his jaw, angling it this way and that until you’re satisfied with your work. He glances briefly back at the stairs, where EJ has long since left. Ricky’s about to look for any other excuse to keep you here for a few more minutes, your eyes light up, remembering something.

“Oh!” you exclaim, turning around, “Stay right here.” You’re back a moment later after digging through your bag past bobby pins, safety pins, your water bottle, script, sewing kit, extra makeup, makeup wipes, bandaids, and throat lozenges. You grab a small box, holding it triumphantly before running back out to Ricky in the hall. You stand in front of him, that glimmer in your eye. 

“I have a surprise.” Excitement swirls in his chest.

“What is it?” he asks, trying to suppress the anticipatory giggle bubbling up, his energy matching yours. You hand him the small box, and he looks at it, confused. He opens it slowly, pulling out a little charm. It’s a dog tag with the number 14, and a metallic T on a jump ring.

“Oh my god…” he breathes, looking at it closer. You’re beaming, so glad that he likes it. 

“You know,” you say softly, “something to remember your first show by. And your heart ring was looking kind of lonely.” You smile, pointing to the plastic ring he still wears around his neck, waiting until the last possible minute to take it off. You barely get the words out before he grabs your arms, pulling you close and kissing you. His lips are warm as they move against yours, and for a split second, you forget where you are, completely losing context for everything around you. 

“I love-” he murmurs against your mouth, freezing for an instant. Your hearts skip a beat in tandem, then he cuts himself off to kiss you again. “I love it.” he finishes. You smile against his lips, pulling away very reluctantly. He leans back in, pressing a few more kisses to your lips before you wiggle out of his grasp. 

“Ricky!” you laugh, “We’re gonna mess up our makeup. We can kiss after the show.” He runs his fingers up and down your arms, gazing at you as you talk. You have all his attention. 

“Okay,” he says in that light hearted, joking tone of his that always makes you laugh, “but I’m gonna hold you to that.” You laugh again, and he takes off his necklace so you can slip on the new charm. After getting it fixed on the chain, you reattach it to his neck. 

At the end of the hall where you’re standing, Nina lingers, watching Ricky touch you and kiss you like that. It makes her sick, and she finds herself holding back a gag. Her hours of research had turned into days, and she has your playbill.com page open on her phone at this very moment. She’s torn, reminiscing over how much she loved your performances and how obsessed with you she was as a kid, and simultaneously fuming over it. You’ve done all this professional work, you’ve acted on Broadway, and now you’re here at East High? 

She scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. She wanted so badly to be you, to have your perfect life, and you threw it all away for what? To come do crappy high school theatre in a town that couldn’t be further from New York? She fights a laugh suddenly, realizing just how much dirt she has on you. There must be a reason you’ve been keeping this secret, lying to everyone, lying to Ricky. She shakes her head. She doesn’t know why yet, but she’s going to find out. 

35 minutes before curtain, Miss Jenn gathers everyone for circle time, and a cast meeting to boost morale before the show. Everyone is finally in costume and Kourtney follows Seb, makeup pallet in hand, adjusting the finishing touches to the glitter on his cheeks. You can feel the energy stirring and growing, electric between all of you. 

“Most of you know that our dazzling Taylor had to leave under family circumstances. Gina sends her love and support, but has left for the east coast and will not be able to make it to tonight’s performance.” Miss Jenn says. You and Ricky share a look, trying not to be too obvious. You got Gina a plane ticket together, and your mom is at the airport right now to pick her up. The last you heard from her, Gina’s flight was delayed. Now there’s only a slim chance she’ll get here in time. You silently keep your fingers crossed, praying to whatever theatre gods are out there that she’ll make it to the theater before it's too late. 

“And so,” Miss Jenn continues, “I have asked… Kourtney to fill in, in her place!��

The room erupts into cheers. Kourtney smiles, eyes on the floor bashfully. She’s praying she doesn’t seem as nervous as she feels. It’s not that she didn’t expect you guys to be supportive of her subbing in as Taylor, but seeing first hand how excited everyone is for her eases some of the worries that have been building up. 

“Now,” Miss Jenn continues, “everyone join hands.” After some heartfelt words of encouragement and other usual circle time warm ups, she claps her hands.

“Let’s go, wildcats! 20 minutes to curtain!”

Once again, the room erupts into cheers. 

“Now, if I can get my main characters and my ensemble members starting the show with a mic on stage for mic check?” she directs, pointing towards the way to the wings. You walk with everyone else towards the stage, pausing when you pass Miss Jenn. 

“Do you want me to help Kourtney get ready?” you ask. Her hair and makeup are done, she just has to get in costume, but you can sense that she needs a pep talk. 

“That would be fantastic,” she says with a look that indicates she thinks Kourtney could use a pep talk too, “thank you, Sharpay.” She pulls out her walkie to let Big Red know you and Kourtney are going to be released from mic check early to finish getting ready. After singing We’re All In This Together while Big Red adjusts your volume from the sound booth, Kourtney sings Bop to the Top, voice getting louder and quieter as Red tweaks the settings. Once you’ve both gotten the thumbs up, you scurry backstage to your dressing room, handing her costume pieces while she gets changed. 

“Oh, wait,” you say before she pulls on her top. You grab your setting spray you use for shows from your bag. “Close your eyes.” You mist her face with the product, fanning it dry so it doesn’t smudge. 

“Thanks,” she says. You take one look at her expression, and can tell she’s nervous.  

“You okay?” You ask. She hesitates, then sighs.

“I had two weeks to learn all my lines. I had two weeks to learn all the lines and the songs, I haven’t even gotten to rehearse on stage with you guys, and I’m just so worried I’m going to blow it, or choke in front of everyone…” she trails off. This is clearly the tip of the iceberg, and she fiddles with her bracelets, trying to get out some nervous energy. 

“There is no way you’re going to choke.” you say confidently, “You know this show inside and out! Plus, haven’t you been running lines with Nini the whole time?” you ask.

“Yeah,” she replies, listening carefully, trying to grab onto your reassurance.

“Almost all of Taylor’s scenes are with Gabriella.” You state. Her expression changes as she realizes you’re right. She knows this part better than she was giving herself credit for. 

“Plus there will be scripts in the wings if you need to refresh between scenes.” 

“Yeah,” she says again, more confident this time. “I know my lines, I know the songs, I know the dances - mostly, at least - so it’s all going to be fine! Even if the choreography in Stick to the Status Quo is still totally terrifying, and I have no idea how to dance with a lunch tray or do a death wack, it’s going to be fine!” Her laughter turned from relieved to slightly panicked again. 

“You think you’re nervous for Stick to the Status Quo?” you ask rhetorically, a comedic note to your voice, “I have to get caked in the face!” You exclaim with a chuckle. You’ve only practiced with an actual cake once, during the last tech rehearsal, and it was messy, to say the least. Literally and figuratively. 

Kourtney laughs, remembering the whipped cream that got everywhere, how loud you were yelling in character before storming off. It took more makeup wipes than you'd expected to get the sticky sugar off your face. 

“We’ll get through it together.” You state, holding out your hand. She squeezes it, reassuringly.

“Yeah. We will.” 

“Five minutes to places!” Natalie calls, poking her head in. 

“Thank you five!” you both reply. You check your phone one last time, the new text from your mom stating that she’s still at the airport, waiting for Gina’s flight. You text Ricky the same thing, letting him know you’re all still waiting for more updates on the delay. The good news is that your mom’s friend from work - who was planning on coming to see the show anyway - is going to stream the show to your mom until she can get there, that way she won’t miss anything. 

It doesn’t feel like five minutes has gone by when Natalie is calling for places, ushering everybody into the wings and into their starting places and positions. Hushed whispers of encouragement and break a leg spread through the wings, and everyone falls silent as Miss Jenn begins her curtain speech. It’s unusual for a group of such high energy people to be so still, so quiet, and you soak up every moment of it. This is your favorite part - or one of them, at least; it's those few fleeting minutes when everyone’s backstage in the wings, the opening of the show is seconds away and hurdling closer and closer with every breath, every heartbeat. This is one of those magical, transformative, fleeting times that can only really be described as in between. 

You never knew just how much you would miss this, the distinct and irreplaceable energy, the feeling of being in a theater. Tears spring to your eyes as it really hits you that you’re home, back where you’ve always needed to be. You close your eyes, taking deep, measured breaths to focus, to get into that headspace of being in character. Even with your eyes closed, you can feel it around you; the rich wood and cement mixing into different sections of the floor, the heavy curtains, the grid and catwalk and lights, all intangibly high and far away. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful that you don’t know how your body is supposed to contain it. You know now that you could never leave, not really. Theatre will always be your home, and you know this feeling will only solidify more and more with time. You realize, too, that it’s a home that will always grow and change and evolve with you, because that’s in its eternal, fleeting nature. That’s the most beautiful part, you think.

You squeeze Seb’s hand in excitement and encouragement and every other good thing, a gesture that he returns. In spite of the silence and the stillness, you know that everyone is just as excited as you are. Ricky’s in the opposite wing, or else you’d be squeezing his hand right now too right now. You use this moment, this stillness that's growing and getting more charged with energy every second, to become laser focused on giving this performance everything you've got - on really getting your head in the game. 

Nini looks around, then over at Ricky - again. He’s been avoiding her this whole night, and she can’t stand it. She leans closer. 

“I need to talk to you. After the show.” someone shushes her, and she lowers her voice, continuing. “She’s been lying to you about everything. You don’t know everything about her, Ricky.” 

“Yes, I-” he cuts himself off, not wanting to feed into this. Not now. “I have to get into character.” He says, moving away from her. He tries to focus on the energy the cast is creating around him, on becoming Troy. He takes a breath, centering himself. 

“Without further ado, I am proud to present… East High’s High School Musical: the Musical!” Miss Jenn’s voice is drowned out by applause, and the music begins. 

The first few songs and scenes go smoothly; everyone is on time and remembering their cues, and the audience couldn’t be more engaged, applauding and laughing right when you want them to. During Jack Scott’s announcements after Darbus reveals what the winter musical is going to be, you leave to get ready for What I’ve Been Looking For. You pass by Ricky, who’s quick changing for Get’cha Head in the Game, and shoot him a big thumbs up.

“Great job!” you whisper enthusiastically, stomping your feet quietly in excitement.

“Thanks,” he smiles, beaming as he pulls on his jersey. He watches you scurry down the hall before getting nudged toward the stage right before his cue. He shakes his head, wondering why he let Nini get him so worked up before. Of course he knows you. He knows everything about you! There’s absolutely nothing on earth you could tell him that would throw him off, or scare him away from you. She’s probably just making something up to get in his head, to drive a wedge between you. That seems like something she would do lately.

“Let’s see some hustle! Move, move, move!” Coach Bolton calls from onstage, and Ricky jogs over to him, as ready as he'll ever be.

“Sorry I’m late, coach.”

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, as much as he’s trying to stay in character and stay focused on the scene, Nini’s words are still echoing in the back of his mind, throwing him off a little. He catches his dad’s eye in the crowd as the music starts. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this proud, and it steadies Ricky. He takes in a breath, and begins to sing. Part way through the song, he notices a woman in the crowd who looks weirdly like his mom. He doesn’t miss a beat, making sure to look in his dad’s direction instead. That’s weird, he thinks, but it can’t be her. There’s no way she’d come all the way from Chicago for something like this. Just like what Nini said to him before the show, he won’t let that distract him from performing, and tries not to let that throw him off.

During the dance break, he gets hooked up to his harness, and his stomach erupts into excited butterflies as he slowly moves up. There’s a collective gasp from the crowd that turns into cheers as he hovers in front of the hoop, ball in hand. Up here, he’s not blinded by the stage lights, and he looks down at the crowd, able to see his dad’s face even better than before. He’s filled with such euphoria, he knows you’re right - nothing can beat this feeling. He feels more alive, more awake than he ever has, simultaneously enveloped by a deep sense of peace, of rightness that he doesn’t want to let go of. 

On the other side of the auditorium, someone moves, catching his eye. Some guy is making his way into his seat, presumably because he showed up late. He leans over to his date, kissing her and touching her leg. Nothing could have prepared Ricky for what he saw when he pulled away. Past the blinding stage lights, his stomach plummets back down to earth as he’s able to make out more faces in the audience - including hers. She’s here. She’s really here, and she brought that douchebag with her. She’s whispering something in that bastard’s ear, barely five rows away from his dad. They’re all over each other, talking close and kissing and smiling. 

It’s only when she points up at him that he snaps out of it. He realizes the pit has been waitin for his cue a beat or two longer than usual, and follows up quickly with it. He had dropped his basketball when he was up there, and he’s scrambling to make it through the rest of the number. He tries desperately to get back into character, to focus on the lyrics and choreography, to focus on the music instead of what he just saw in front of him, but he can’t shake what just happened, what he just saw. Even as he’s being pulled backstage to change into the costume for his next scene, it takes all his effort not to let that overwhelm him. He can’t crumble right now, not like this. There’s a whole cast and crew, all his friends, that are counting on him. He gets some water, tries to pull himself together. 

EJ looks for Ricky backstage, having a few minutes before their next scene. Even he has to admit he was impressed with Ricky’s performance back there. He looked so conflicted, so torn between basketball and singing. He even managed to make his distracted blocking and choreography look so organic EJ was worried he’d messed up for a second. He’s been giving him a hard time, butting heads on and off stage, but Ricky is really shining tonight. He’s committed, and EJ has to commend him for that. 

“Ricky,” he says, just loudly enough to get his attention. Ricky turns around. “I have to hand it to you; you’re doing great out there, man. You deserve all the applause you’re getting.” 

Ricky takes a breath, closing his water bottle.

“Thanks.” 

He stares into space to the ceiling on EJ’s right, gripping his water bottle until his knuckles have a white cast to them. EJ’s brow furrows. He actually seems a little out of it. 

“Are you okay?” he asks carefully. They’re not really close like that, but even EJ can see that he seems a little off. 

“I’m fine,” he says a little too fast. “I am totally fine. Because it’s opening night, and nothing’s going to ruin this.” 

Suddenly it makes sense. He knows exactly what Ricky’s going through. He sighs. 

“Look, everybody gets stage fright. Just take a deep breath, and use the music and your lines to stay grounded.” He claps Ricky on the shoulder supportively.

“Thanks,” he chokes out again. EJ leaves to fix his mic tape, and Ricky is once again exactly where he doesn’t want to be - alone with his thoughts. Even though EJ has no idea of the scope of issues Ricky’s dealing with right now, his advice might still work. Instead of waiting in his dressing room, he hovers in the wings, going over the chemistry class scene as it happens, waiting for the lights to go down so he can talk to you, or at least be near you. He’s so tempted to barge onstage and drag you away with him. Instead he listens closely to your dialog with Gabriella. Just hearing your voice is enough for him to hold on to for now.

The lights go down, and you exit into the wings. You’re surprised to find Ricky there - he usually comes up about half way through Jack Scott’s narration. One look at his face and you know something’s wrong. Before you can ask, he’s pulling you into a less busy area by the prop table. 

“She’s here.” He grips your arm, hand shaking. He doesn’t need to say anything else, you already have a full grasp on the gravity of the situation, the effect this is having on him. 

“Here?” you ask, needing to clarify, and he nods. “Are you okay?” you ask sincerely.

“I’m…” he struggles for an answer, “trying to be.” You take his hands in yours so gently he doesn’t even notice until your thumbs are stroking his skin reassuringly.

“Okay,” you say calmly, and he can see the gears turning, see you figuring out the perfect solution as you speak. “Why don’t you have some water, stay right here, and I’ll go get Miss Jenn, okay?” 

He nods, and you move quickly to Natalie, asking her if she knows where Miss Jenn is. She picks up her walkie talkie, asking Miss Jenn to come to the stage right wing. Jack’s narration scene wraps up and the crew changes the set to Darbus’s detention. You have seconds before you have to get out there, and you turn to Ricky, worried about him. 

“Are you going to be okay?” you ask in a hushed whisper. 

“Yeah.” he says, “I think so.” 

You see Miss Jenn walking toward the stage right wing as you’re about to head onstage.

“We’ll talk to her right after.” you tell him in a hushed, reassuring whisper. You give his hand one more squeeze before you find your places in the dark. Moments later, the lights are up, and the scene begins. In all the time you’ve spent acting, you’ve gotten very good at staying in character, compartmentalizing thoughts and worries about your personal life while you’re onstage. You find it a little more difficult to keep the disgust at Lynne Bowen’s blatant lack of basic respect, or even awareness for the consequences of her actions, buried in the back of your mind as the scene plays out. 

Sitting on the wooden flooring of the stage, warm under the bright lights, Ricky does exactly what he’s supposed to do - he uses the scene and dialog to stay grounded. He follows the dialog while doing his stage business, listening for his cues just like Miss Jenn thought him to do. If he stays in character, he doesn’t have to think about any offstage drama. As long as he doesn’t look out to that section of seats, as long as he can keep his eyes from being magnetically drawn there, he’s going to be fine. He stays in character, stays right there as Troy, clinging to his character like a life raft. If he can be Troy, he doesn’t have to worry about everything he’s going to have to deal with as Ricky for just a few more minutes. It's desperate and fleeting, but it's the only thing he can do right now. 

Soon, the lights are down, and you’re hustling toward the stage right wing, where you know Miss Jenn is waiting. He finds your hand in the dark, the sparkly pink sequins on your outfit unmistakable even in the darkness. He holds onto you desperately, until you’re both standing in front of Miss Jenn. She knows from one look that whatever is going on, it’s bad. 

“Um," Ricky starts, swallowing hard, "my mom is here…” he hates that his voice is already trembling so soon. It sounds more like a question than a statement, and his stomach twists at how foreign the word now feels in his mouth. My mom. The last time he called her that had been months ago when he told you and Miss Jenn what had happened. Ever since he’s only referred to her through pronouns and as briefly as possible, trying to disconnect the person she is from who she was supposed to be. Who he thought she was. The closest he’s gotten to addressing her has been vague statements; she didn’t call back, or I think that was her recipe, let’s find a different one. Actually saying it, actually calling her that makes his jaw feel stiff. 

“My god.” Miss Jenn says softly, unable to believe that she could have the audacity to show up unannounced after what she put Ricky through. Ricky hesitates, and she knows there’s more. She nods, waiting for him to continue. 

“And she, uh,” he swallows thickly, hating his throat for tightening up so much when he has to sing in a few minutes, “she brought her boyfriend…” Your eyes widen and Miss Jenn gasps. 

“They’re in the sixth row, they keep talking and kissing, and-” he cuts himself off, unable to continue. His hands are balled up, tight and shaking. 

“Okay. Ricky, sweetie, why don’t we talk about this somewhere a little more private.” You both guide him to the boys’ dressing room, and after making sure no one’s in there, she sits down facing him, and takes his hands in hers. 

“From the beginning, what happened?” 

He was barely able to get it out the first time, but now he can’t stop. Everything he’s been trying so hard to ignore and shove down for the last 20 minutes - and it’s felt way longer than 20 minutes - comes tumbling out. He doesn't think he could stop talking if he tried. He doesn’t even realize how loud he’s getting until Miss Jenn gently shushes him. 

“We don’t want the audience to hear us.” he nods, taking a breath for the first time since he started talking. You left a minute ago to check on how much time you have before the next scene, and reenter the dressing room now, looking stressed. 

“They’re almost done with Auditions.” you state. You need to go up there now, you and Seb have What I’ve Been Looking For soon, and you don’t want to miss your cue. 

“Go,” she says. Ricky nods, so you do, knowing that Miss Jenn has this under control, that she can help Ricky right now. Your footsteps recede, and Ricky turns back to Miss Jenn. 

“Ricky,” she starts calmly, “what she did was wildly inappropriate.” He already feels a little better, less crazy, and he waits for her to continue. 

“Showing up unannounced with a…" she chooses her words carefully, "date, was… probably the worst thing that could have happened tonight.” 

“Yeah,” he scoffs in agreement. She continues.

“You have every right to be as upset as you are. Whatever you need right now, just tell me, okay?” He nods. “I think what we should do is get your dad, and let him know what’s going on. I can try to have one of the ushers escort her out, but I’m sure the last thing you want tonight is even more drama.” 

“Got that right,” he breathes, relieved. 

“I’m going to talk to EJ and see if he can go on as Troy-” 

“What? No.” he protests. 

“Ricky-” 

“No, Miss Jenn- I have to play Troy. Please, I have to!” 

“It might be best for you-” 

He stands up suddenly. “What’s best for me is going out there; acting and singing, like we rehearsed -  like I’m supposed to! Please, you can’t…” 

“Okay,” she says, standing up and trying to calm him down a little. “Okay. If you think you can do it, you can go back out there.” 

He relaxes a little. 

“Thank you.” his voice breaks as he speaks, and she realizes how badly he needs this right now.

“Why don’t we revisit this at intermission, see how you’re feeling then? Just to check up on you.” she adds quickly. 

“Okay.” he agrees. She puts a hand on his arm. 

“I’m going to let EJ know to get ready, just in case you change your mind. We’ve got to be ready for anything, right?” She smiles gently, one he tries to return. 

“Right,” he says. A stagehand pokes his head into the room.

“Troy, we need you.”

“Be right there,” Miss Jenn says. She claps her hand over Ricky’s one more time. “Okay, Ricky, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go out there and sing a ballad with Gabriella that will make the audience swoon,” he smiles, “and I am going to do my best to get this situation resolved as quickly and discreetly as possible. If anything else happens, or you need anything, come tell me right away.”

“Okay.” he says, this time, with a note of determination in his voice. Miss Jenn pats him on the back, sending him off. He runs through the halls, making it just in time. Once he’s in the wings, she pulls out her phone to text Mike, and fill him in on everything that’s going on. He enters on Gabriella’s cue, and Miss Jenn pauses, watching him deliver his lines. All the distress, all the pain melts away as he steps into character.

It’s giving him a break from everything, she thinks, it has been the whole time. Theatre isn’t just a luxury or a passion for some people, it’s a means of survival. It hits her all at once, that in staying here, in facing the challenges and struggles that came from directing this show, she’s helping Ricky through one of the hardest things he’ll ever go through. She’s become the person she needed when she was his age; with only one parent, feeling completely lost at sea. Her chest squeezes, and she watches them sing, their voices sending a chill through her. 

Backstage, in the few dark moments of the set change for Cellular Fusion, Nina somehow manages to corner you. 

“What did you do to him?” she demands, and you know she’s referring to Ricky, who exited to the other wing. You stare at her, aghast. You lean in close, lowering your voice, desperately holding on to your professionalism. 

“We have to go onstage, literally right now. I am not doing this with you right now.” 

“Huh,” she scoffs with a fake smile, “you’re one to talk.” You have approximately two seconds to look at her, baffled by everything she’s saying, before you have to go on. You enter, and hit your mark. At the cue, you and Seb begin to harmonize. Right as you do, your phone - tucked away in the wings - silently begins to buzz. Your phone lights up with a text from your mom, informing you that Gina’s flight has finally landed, and they’ll be at the theater any minute. 

You run off stage as Cellular Fusion wraps up, and Miss Jenn and Carlos are trying to figure out what to do about the Taylor dance break coming up. Kourtney has been doing great so far, but she doesn’t think she can handle choreography that complicated with so little time to rehearse.

“I could tell the pit to cut that section…” Carlos offers. You check your phone and your eyes light up, looking at the doorway. 

“Uh,” you start with a smile, “I don’t think that will be an issue…”

Miss Jenn, Carlos, and Kourtney look over at Gina, smiling timidly. 

“Oh, thank god,” Miss Jenn chokes out. She turns to Kourtney, then Gina. “You, go out there before you miss your cue. And you, quick change into something more 2006 before the dance break.”

They both agree, and a stagehand runs over with something for Gina to change into, guiding her to the dressing rooms. 

“Is he doing any better?” you ask Miss Jenn before you go on. You don’t have much time, but you need to know if he’s okay.

“A little,” she says, “I think.” You both know it’s better than nothing, and you’re just hoping whatever he’s doing keeps working. 

Stick to the Status Quo couldn’t be going any better. There’s so much happening, so much organized chaos, that he forgets about everything for a few wonderful minutes. There’s no time to think about that when he’s dancing on tables, begging his classmates not to sacrifice their individuality so they can fit in. It only gets better when you and Seb enter toward the end of the number. You look so genuinely pissed off that people are breaking free from the boxes they’ve been put in, and your voices sound perfect harmonizing together, reverberating through the auditorium.

He tries in vain to stop Zeke from giving you a cake, watching with bated breath as it smashes into your face. He turns away, just like he’s supposed to, but his eyes accidentally land on the one place in the audience he shouldn't be looking at.  His stomach plummets. Has she been on her phone this whole time? After running from everything this whole night, it finally gets the best of him. He can’t stand it any longer, running into the wings as you let out an ear shattering scream, loud enough to finally make her look up.

“Someone… is going… to pay for this!” you yell furiously, before the lights go down. The curtain draws to a close as applause thunders through the building. The lights in the house go up for intermission, and you hear a slow rise of chatter as people mill about and make conversation as you exit the stage. You grab a makeup wipe a stagehand has ready, thanking them as Natalie calls out that intermission is starting, and you have 20 minutes to places for act two.

“Thank you 20,” you call out distractedly, searching for Ricky. You run to the back, wiping the rest of the whipped cream off your face, and check the boys dressing room to see if he’s in there. He is, sitting in there by himself, seeming worse than before. One look at his face and you know something else happened.

“She was on her fucking phone the whole time!” he states in disbelief, “Like…” The words dry up as he holds a pillow in his lap in a death grip. 

“Oh my god…” you say, shaking your head. He’s not doing good, clearly. No one would be in his position. He pulls you in for a hug as soon as you’re close enough, one you reciprocate. He holds onto you tight, feeling just a little more stable as soon as you’re in his arms. Surrounded by your familiar grasp, it’s just a little easier to breathe, to think clearly. Unfortunately, it also means he has a much clearer grasp on everything that’s happened tonight and how it’s affecting him, how he feels about it. His dad is right behind you, and he lets go of you long enough to stand up and greet him. His dad pulls him into a hug, patting his back. 

“I’m so sorry, kid. I had no idea she was going to pull something like this.” Mike’s voice wavers, and when Ricky doesn’t answer, you know it’s because he’s choked up. Miss Jenn enters a moment later, walking over to Ricky and Mike. 

“The both of them have been removed from the premises.” She states. 

“Thank you,” Mike says earnestly. 

“Oh, it was nothing a little faked parking violation couldn't take care of,"  she says, earning a small smile from Mike. She turns to Ricky, continuing. “I filled you dad in on what’s been going on, too.” 

“Maybe we should just go home,” Mike offers, knowing he probably won’t want to. 

“No,” he protests, “I can do act two, I want to. Plus, if we leave now, she’ll know where we are and she’s going to ambush us again, and-” 

“The one place you’re guaranteed not to run into her is here at the theater.” you finish quietly. 

“Yeah,” Ricky agrees, motioning to you. Mike considers, weighing his options. Since she’s gone, if Ricky thinks he can handle it, he doesn’t see why he can’t do the second half of the show - especially since he seems to want to so badly. Maybe now isn’t the time to take that away from him, even if he means well.

“Okay,” he sighs. “But if anything happens, if you change your mind at all-”

“You’re the first to know.” Ricky agrees quickly. 

“I want you to stay plugged in with me, okay?” Mike says, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Text me when you’re not onstage, let me know how you’re doing.” Ricky agrees again. Miss Jenn looks between them. 

“Alright. Well, in that case, Ricky, you should get changed for act two.” She says with a tentative smile. He nods. 

“Thank you. Thank you guys.” he says sincerely to his dad and Miss Jenn. Before you leave, you catch his eye.

“I’m going to refill my water, then I’ll be back here, okay?” 

“Sounds good." He says, "Hurry back,” he adds quickly, giving you that sweet look with those big puppy dog eyes, and it makes your chest squeeze. 

“Absolutely.” you agree. 

You barely leave the dressing room before you're met with Nina. She barges forward and stands in front of you, arms crossed, and you realize she's waiting for you to move out of the way so she can get into the boys' dressing room. You don't budge. 

“I need to talk to Ricky. I heard what happened, and I'm the only one who can convince him to go on for the second act, and I don’t need you-” 

“Wow,” you begin, cutting her off, once again amazed at her audacity, “now is really not a good time. Don’t go in there and stir things up.”  

She looks you up and down, letting out an indignant scoff. 

“Don’t act like you know him like that. I’ve known him since we were in kindergarten, I know him better than anyone.” 

You take in a deep breath, trying so hard to stay patient. 

“Sure. You know him better than anyone.” you say, in a pacifying tone, “So you should know the last thing he needs is more pressure on him when he’s in the middle of a family crisis, right?” The question is rhetorical, and you continue, patience with her finally starting to run thin. “If you actually care about him, then for the sake of his well being you’ll leave him alone and let him get through this. Now is really not the time, Nina, read the goddamn room!” 

The sentence is finished with an aggravated, humorless laugh. Your priorities right now are Ricky, and getting through opening night. You need to help him process some of the shit that's been happening tonight, make sure he’s okay, so he can perform like he wants to. The last thing he needs is Nina barging in there and telling him he’s letting the cast down, or that he’s not serious about theatre, and that he should have quit after auditions - all of which you’ve heard more times than you can count over the duration of rehearsals, even up to a few days ago. 

You’ve tried so hard to be patient with her, but dear god, she’s really starting to get on your last nerve - nevermind the fact that you have a special type of hatred for the kind of people like Nina, who shit on people that are still learning about something they have more experience in; like telling someone they’re not serious about theatre because it’s their first show, for example.

“Do not fuck with him right now.” you state, rolling your eyes at her shocked expression.

You push past her, walking over to the water fountain. She watches you walk away, mouth hanging open, and lets out an indignant scoff. You swear to god, if one more thing goes wrong tonight, if one more person tries you, you’re going to absolutely lose it. You take a few deep breaths as you fill up your bottle, trying to calm down and center yourself a little. Once you’re done, you start to walk back to the dressing rooms, but you’re stopped by a woman who is definitely not cast or crew. She sees you and approaches, seeming a little pissy. 

“I’m looking for Ricky Bowen?” she states. As she speaks, your stomach drops. 

You recognize her voice from when you heard it on the phone, and from the voicemail Ricky showed you over Thanksgiving. This is Lynne Bowen. As in, the Lynne Bowen. The one that left.  The same woman who’s made such a tactless and selfish decisions over and over that have ultimately caused her son to be on the verge of a breakdown just down the hall from where you’re standing right now. 

“You are not supposed to be back here.” you state, desperately trying to figure out how to handle this. You pull out your phone and text Miss Jenn, ‘code red, really need backup’.

“Can you just tell me where Ricky Bowen is? I’m his mother.” she says it in a way immediately expects sympathy from you, sympathy she doesn’t receive. You stare at her blankly, and she continues, much less kind than she’d been pretending to be. “I need to see my son, okay? Maybe when you’re a mother someday you’ll understand-”

You’re not sure what about her, about the way she’s talking to you specifically is the last straw for you, but your patience is already running so thin it’s practically transparent. Against your better judgment, you cut her off. 

“He does not want to see you. He doesn’t want to speak to you - or be anywhere near you right now, for the record - and you need to fucking respect that, okay?” you say decisively, offense written all over her face, “And you are really not allowed to be backstage if you’re not cast or crew, which you’re clearly not-” 

“You are way out of line, young lady!” she yells, “I don’t care if he doesn’t want to talk. I’ll talk to him if I want to; I’m his mother.”  She adjusts her purse, clearly expecting you to fold, to tell her where he is. You know you should keep your mouth shut, you know you should be diplomatic and patient and professional like you always are, you should wait for Miss Jenn to handle this, but you’ve spent the past three months watching Ricky suffer because of this woman and her choices. You can’t stay quiet when the woman who hurt him is right in front of you. 

“I think you lost the right to pull that shit when you walked out the door and chose not to be in his life!” you snap, a dangerous smile on your face. The stunned look on her face is better than anything you’ve ever seen. It’s clear no one has ever tried to take her down a peg until now. 

“How dare-” 

“You gave him a free pass to hate you forever, because you’re not the parent who stayed! You didn’t try-” 

Your words lose momentum as you find yourself suddenly looking at the wall to your right, your cheek stinging. The sound of her slapping you across the face echos across the walls for a moment before fading away, and you freeze, tears prickling the corners of your eyes from shock.

“Listen here you little slut,” she says, much more ferocious than before. All facades of a concerned mother have melted away. “You have no right to talk to me like that-” 

“What the fuck?!” 

You snap out of it, and she turns around at Ricky’s voice at the end of the hall.

“Ricky, my baby,” she starts, walking toward him, but she’s thrown off at how distant he seems toward her. “I’m sorry you had to see that, this girl is so-” 

“Don’t ever talk about her like that again.” His voice is stone cold as he brushes past her, analyzing your expression closely to see if you’re alright. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice shaky.

“I’m fine,” you say as calmly as possible, “are you okay?” 

He’s decidedly not, but he tries to pull himself together. 

“If you are, that’s all that matters.” Behind him, growing impatient, Lynne takes a step forward.

“Ricky,” she demands. He takes a breath, and leans closer to you. 

“You should change for act two.” You look between them, wishing there was something else you could do, some way that you could make this better. You agree, stopping before you leave for your dressing room. 

“Text me if you need anything.” you say seriously, and he agrees, understanding the subtext of your words. Text you if he needs backup, or if it gets to be too much, because you’re there for him. Lynne moves toward him again. 

“Can we talk?” she says with a domineering tone to her voice, and you both know it’s not a question. You want to object, but all he wants is to get her away from you. He nods, indicating you should go, and you do - albeit, very reluctantly. He turns back to her. 

“Yeah,” he says seriously, “I think we need to.” 

She grabs his arm to lead him down another stretch of hallway, but he shakes her off immediately, walking a few feet in front of her. 

“Ricky, are you alright?” she demands, once they’re relatively out of earshot. She crosses her arms. “I was so worried about you when you ran offstage like that.” 

“I’m surprised you noticed.” he murmurs. She either ignores him or doesn’t hear. Regardless, she continues. 

“Why did you leave? Is it stage fright? Because a lot of people are counting on you, honey. You made a commitment to this-” 

“You’re one to talk about commitment,” he mutters, voice low, but loud enough to be heard. His impulse control is not at all where it should be, especially with how she just talked to you, what she called you.

“I’m sorry?” Lynne demands. She’s not used to Ricky yelling at her. She’s always had a lot of influence over him. He used to do everything she said, he’s always been such a mama’s boy until now. 

“I mean, do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?” he snaps, “Did you even care that you ruined the only thing I’ve been able to count on in my life- I can never get this night back, Lynne. And now…” he trails off, trying so hard to regulate his emotions, even though he knows he’s out of control. He takes a shaky breath, trying with everything he has inside him to reign it back in a little. 

“...Why would you bring him to the show?” 

Lynne looks stunned at his question. 

“Wh-” she starts, “This is about Todd?”

“Why would you bring him here?” He demands, repeating himself.

“I…” she struggles for an answer, “wanted him to meet you.” she infuses as much guilt into her words as she can. He should feel bad for the way he’s speaking to her. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to throw you off.” 

It doesn’t work this time, and he refuses to back down, to fawn for her. He doesn’t buy it for a second.

“So you waited until I was suspended, mid air over a basketball hoop, for me to see you all… cozied up together? You didn’t think - not for one second - that might be just a little upsetting to me?!” 

“Ricky-”

“And what about dad, huh? How do you think he feels watching you feel each other up right in front of him?” tears brim in the corners of his eyes as everything he’s been suppressing all night, all these weeks and months finally breaks the surface. She lets out an indignant scoff and tries to say something, but he ignores her and keeps going. It’s an avalanche now, and he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. 

“He didn’t leave the couch for a week after you left!” he roars, remembering how hard it was to see his dad like that, to have to be the one to drag him out of it. 

“...I didn’t know that-”

“How could you?!” he laughs bitterly, "You weren't there!" He screams. He doesn't think it's ever felt better to say something than it does now. "You weren't there the whole time I was rehearsing, you weren't the one running lines and going over blocking, and teaching me how to listen for cues and do stage makeup and quick change! You weren't there for any of the work that went into this, and you just waltz in here with the newest guy you're screwing to your fucking son's musical like you've been here the whole time, but you havent!" He's never yelled at her like this, but a part of him thinks after how much she hurt him - and his dad - it's long overdue. "You don't get to enjoy this show, and you don't get to be around me, or dad, or anything we do because you walked out!"

"You are way out of line-" she starts, voice cracking. 

"No, you know what’s way out of line?" He demands, all too ready to throw her words back in her face. "Breaking my heart, breaking dad’s heart, then acting like everything is fine when it’s not!"

"You think I wanted to leave you?!" She screams back at him. 

"Yeah," he answers quickly, "I do, because you did! And you know what? I'm glad you left." He spits, watching the pain grow in her eyes, his words like venom. 

"All you do is hurt us." 

She blinks like she was just slapped. He takes a step forward, shaking, angry tears silently spilling from his eyes. When he speaks, his voice is low and dead serious. 

"Don't call me anymore."

Before she can say anything, he starts to walk away. She calls out to him, desperate to get the last word in, to make him know how much pain his words have caused her. 

"You are really hurting me, Ricky." She says, voice shaking as she cries, "you're breaking your mother's heart."

The sound of his mother crying like that because of something he said should have wrecked him, but he pushes away any last remaining scraps of guilt his rage hasn't burned away yet. He turns back to her, no love in his eyes, and laughs bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess it runs in the family. You know, the one thing I got from you is the ability to ruin any relationship I have, so thanks for that, mom." He spits, turning to leave. She takes a step forward. 

"Don’t you walk away from me-"

"Like mother like son, huh?" He barks. With that, he's gone. He doesn't stick around for any more of her manipulation or guilt tactics. He just really, really needs to see you right now.

[never-rpg]

Welcome to NEVER RPG! Please send in your url within 48 hours. Be sure to look over our checklist. We hope you enjoy, or at least survive, your time on the island!

Welcome to the island, ALI! You been accepted as ECHO with the faceclaim of Sophie Thatcher.

Your entire app was a delightful display of that ideal Lost Boy spirit! If I were to bet on anyone being able to survive, and even thrive, as a Lost Boy the longest of the lot, I’d put my money on Echo. I mean, with this energy: ‘and in a world that’s sink or swim, you’ve chosen to fight for every breath even when your new life threatens to overwhelm you at every turn. your own determination found your spot with the lost boys, and you’ll be damned if you’d ever let yourself lose the family you’ve found’. I know Echo is sort of an underdog at the start, but I have a feeling that could all change!

Welcome to the island, EFFIE! You been accepted as BRAMBLE ROSE with the faceclaim of Saoirse Ronan.

I do so enjoy a lovesick tragedy and oh how your app delivered on that front! Soulmates torn from one another too soon has always made me weak and is there anything more quintessential for the gothic horror genre? ‘Sometimes, she can even close her eyes and pretend that those gossamer messages aren’t said in fear or despair but with love. Little promises of a life that will never be’.  I cannot wait to read more of your beautiful writing!

Welcome to the island, EFFIE! You been accepted as CURLY with the faceclaim of Robert Sheehan.

Curly is such a fun mix of perceptive, creeping fear and an uncrushable will to survive. Your app for Curly positively trampled my heart in the best way possible! ‘It wasn't until Wendy left, taking the family he had with her that he saw just how cruel and thoughtless Peter could be. The winter that followed was unforgiving, but despite all the suffering it caused, he was grateful for the way it opened his eyes’. Also, your mixes for both Curly and Bramble Rose are freaking fantastic! I've been listening to them on repeat!

Welcome to the island, ILANA! You been accepted as AMARA THORNE with the faceclaim of Anya Chalotra.

We love to see a heroine forged from fire and hellbent on revenge! I’m already extremely invested in Amara with her longing for adventure, volatile anger, and survivor’s guilt. ‘Amara had lost the closest family she had ever known and once again found herself amongst strangers. Still reeling from the loss, Amara has had a difficult time opening up to the crew and finding her place, although she respects them all and is learning more about Neverland and its atrocities’. I wonder what she’ll make of the Jolly Roger’s crew and if they’ll become like a second family for her in time or not.

Welcome to the island, LIOT! You been accepted as LUCY with the faceclaim of Courtney Eaton.

Once again, I am in awe at how masterfully you can create an oc who feels so perfectly a part of this world! I’m so excited about the differences among Lucy, Echo, and Wendy. I believe that each of their counterbalances are going to make for some interesting plots. Lucy is a melancholic dream: ‘She does remember wishing there were more of her, where she came from, and she remembers her home being full of love and loneliness’. I’m eager to see how her dynamics shake out with everyone!

All important pages on the main will be updated in the next several minutes to reflect these acceptances. OC bios will be posted shortly as well. Roleplay will officially commence on January 1st after we’ve posted our our first mini plot-drop to establish our opening setting. Welcome to the group, everyone! We’re beyond excited to have you join us for all the chaotic glory and misery!

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: March 2021

Hey March was a weird month what with all the pandemic anniversaries and such but here we are. It’s March. Goodbye March.

……….FILM……….

Attack the Block (2011) After about 20 minutes my partner asked if this was basically a British episode of Goosebumps and....she’s not wrong? I liked it back when it came out but it’s aged really well. Tight script and casual class politics along with the very good space stuff.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) It turns out I’d remembered so little of this movie that it was essentially a fresh viewing. The artistry and ambition still holds up today plus a noir set in L.A. is always good time. But then you add cartoon hijinks and it’s all just that much better.

The New York Times Presents: Framing Britney Spears  (2021) So we watched the ep on Britney Spears and...it didn’t really seem to cover all that much. It kept feeling like it was about to start and then after an hour and a half of that it just sorta wraps with a small legal victory. I know this isn’t fiction so I’m not expecting a happy ending, but I don’t know what it wanted to say.

CBS presents Oprah with Meghan and Harry  (2021) I mean I don’t think anything said or shared was surprising anyone. Though I appreciate Oprah not letting either of them sidestep a question. Either answer or say you won’t; none of this fancy poetry.

……….TELEVISION……….

Great British Bake Off (Episode 9.01 to 9.04) This is our first season without Mary Berry, Sue, and Mel and it’s a real shift! But despite all the new faces, it still feels very much like the good-natured GBBO I’ve come to love. Great stuff.

City of Ghosts (Episode 1.01 to 1.06) I hope all that I’m seeing about this means that Netflix will greenlight another season and more television like this. The artistry is fantastic, the concept allows for both whimsy and poignancy, and it’s casually funny in a way that I can’t fully describe. Great stuff.

WandaVision (Episode 1.09) So this didn’t quite stick the landing for me. I figured there’d be some blasts and magic and zooming around in the sky, but I also assumed we’d get some resolution (maybe even consequences) for what Wanda did to the town. Sure, she’s not the villain and it wasn’t intentional, but the show appeared to be built around this theme of denial and acceptance yet abandoned that in the end. But I will give it this: it really has sold me on the relationship between Wanda and Vision.

The Night Manager (Episode 1.05 to 1.06) You know I think I’ve been so primed by Bond films and action set pieces that, while I won’t spoil the ending, I was pleasantly surprised by how it wrapped up. It was a nice change of pace. 

The Bachelor (Episode 25.09 to 25.12) What a season. It was a mess, sure, but I also think it was the uncomfortable mix of stagnation and progress. The show needs to evolve and I feel like the finale and aftershow really highlighted that the change has to happen. Maybe it’s starting to happen already or in future seasons it’ll change whether production likes it or not.

……….READING……….

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (Complete) Really fantastic read and such an effortless blend of science fiction and...necromantic fantasy! Dark and gross and light and funny all at the same time. 100% recommend and am very excited for the next entry despite this feeling whole and complete on its own.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) I want to work my way through the series (or at least the original 14 written by Baum) so we gotta start at the beginning! There’s such a light air about the book that everyone kinda just rolls with everything. Sentient objects and talking animals and lots of murder are just met with a “Great! on to the next adventure!” and I love it.

The Marvelous Land of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) It’s really great that the second book has a lot of the same core components (human child meets a bunch of wacky sidekicks while on a very small adventure) yet casually expands the mythos and world. It even builds on the plot established by the first book (the main conflict revolving around Scarecrow being overthrown as leader of Oz ever since the Wizard disappeared). Great stuff.

Ozma of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) Bringing back Dorothy and it’s really a merging of characters from book 1 and 2. If anything, this series is shaping up to be about making friends and the genial conflict resolution is really heartwarming. Now i’m keen to watch Return to Oz.

Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) This might just be me but I find a mostly human cast (outside of Jim the Cab Horse) to be far less interesting than the diverse adventuring parties of the first three books. Lots of fun stuff in here and playing fast and loose with the world-building works well; highlight the fun parts of a land made of wood and then continue on to the next location! Great stuff.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 9 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) It feels like everything is starting to come together and wrap up and I’m totally here for a story that knows what it wants to do. And while there doesn’t seem to be as much room cooking with the overarching plot that is driving the story, it never feels like it’s moved away from the heart of the characters and for that I can’t recommend it enough. Excellent world-building, excellent cast, and really great humor.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The IDW Collection Volume 9 by Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Mateus Santolouco, Dave Wachter, Pablo Tunica, Sophie Campbell, and many more! (Complete) The human/secret agent stuff will always be boring to me (even if they’re hunting the turtles) cause that’s not what I want in a comic. I don’t want Batman hunting burglars, I want bright colourful villains for our bright and colorful heroes. Luckily we get into a pocket dimension for a toad god and his relatives during the second half of the volume. Overall, still my favourite ooze series.

……….AUDIO……….

Musicalsplaining (Podcast) Great host dynamics and hot dang I love a good musical.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The group has taken a break from the infected giant colony to sort out some Pirate drama! Further session breakdowns are over here on Reddit!

Dungeons & Designers (Podcast) I had the rare chance to play in a D&D campaign instead of run it and it’s even up online! They also air the sessions through their podcast!

And that’s it! As always, let me know anything you think I should check out and thanks for reading.

Happy Wednesday.

[annalyticall]

Anime Newbie in her Twenties Ranks her First 10 Anime

With the recommendations of my sister @ging-ler​ and friends, I started watching anime just over a year ago and within that time I’ve watched a total of 10 - some clocking in at almost 200 episodes and some with only 12. I told myself a while ago that once I had finished 10 anime shows I would rank them like some Anime Newbie WatchMojo list, so, here we are. Really this is just an excuse to force more of my unwarranted opinions onto unwilling followers.

I should also preface this by saying I don’t think any of the anime I watched this year was bad, and I enjoyed a lot about every show even if I ranked some low. However, the top three anime on my list are the ones I would recommend to anyone following me even if they don’t watch anime.

10. Death Note

Despite absolutely loathing the “protagonist” since episode one, I really enjoyed the first half of Death Note! The story was intriguing with all of its wild twist and turns and I found myself immediately invested in what was going to happen next. Unfortunately, after the death of who I thought was by far the best character, the show seems to go off the rails as it introduces new characters and contrived plot devices in the second half that were frankly hard for me to care about at that point. The ending was satisfying but I forced myself to sit through a lot of painful meandering to get there.

9. Cowboy Bebop

Cowboy Bebop was the first anime I watched as suggested to me by @mcsherrybr​. The smooth and jazzy art, atmosphere, animation, action, and music were all a lot of fun, as were the lovable ragtag group of misfits that made up the main cast. I enjoyed myself a lot while watching this western/sci-fi melding pot of a show, and I only ranked it so low because the last few episodes were a huge disappointment to my found-family-trope-loving heart.

8. Violet Evergarden

Violet Evergarden, following the story of a child soldier learning to love, is absolutely beautiful to look at and listen to. The music in this anime is, for me, THE best music from any show on this list. This is also the only anime that made me sob several times while watching it. The collection of short episodic stories that explore the deep facets of human love and connection are incredibly resonant and will stay with me for a long time. However, the strength of the small story arcs made the rushed overarching war story and finale weaker in comparison. Similarly, the memorable characters introduced in the one-off side plots were more interesting to me than the cast of rather bland reoccurring supporting characters. While I will remember a lot of great individual moments, I can’t seem to remember a single character’s name besides Violet’s, but that might also be due to being one of the shorter entries at only 12 episodes.

7. Hunter x Hunter (2011)

Going from one of the shortest anime on this list to the longest, Hunter x Hunter was an great and engrossing story during the entirety of its 160+ episodes. It’s colorful and playful, but can also be very dark and at times even heart-wrenching. Because it contains so many distinct arcs, there is a wide variety characters and stories to get attached to, and some, like the Chimera Ant Arc, I even cried over. But this also left me with issues regarding the pacing. The show has great action and introspective moments but will often drag with long drawn-out pauses between fights to explain simple concepts (though I understand that’s a common trope in old shonen anime in general). The world-building is rich but also caught me off guard with some strange ideas, and admittedly not all of them I liked. Some eccentric characters and concepts rubbed me the wrong way and ended up hindering my enjoyment of the show. Overall though, it was a lot of fun and I left with a few more endearing favorite characters, like Leorio and Killua.

6. Erased

Also a 12 episode anime, Erased was amazingly impactful for how short it was. Even as I followed the unfolding murder mystery, I was also touched by the meaningful themes and kind-hearted characters I met along the way. The already-strong story is accentuated with great symbolism, art, and music. The only problem I had was with the mystery itself; I was able to tell who the true killer was within the first 4 episodes, which didn’t lend itself well to suspense and I spent the remaining episodes frustrated that the main characters couldn’t see some obvious clues.This is a minor problem, though, since the finale has less to do with mystery and more about the morals and resolution of themes that I felt was satisfying.

5. Demon Slayer

Demon Slayer is gorgeous. The stunning art style, fluid animation, and breath-taking music are all valid reasons to watch it, but the main character Tanjiro and his unwavering devotion to find a cure for his sister-turned-demon Nezuko are the reasons to stay. Tanjiro is unbelievably gentle as he shows even the evil demons he has to slay a hard-fought kindness, and it’s those tender moments between all of the amazing action sequences that really elevate this show for me. The issues I have lie with the rest of the cast. While I love some supporting characters, like the pig-headed Inosuke and the stoic Giyuu, others have very niche personalities that can get annoying if they’re on screen for too long, which they definitely tend to be. Still, the bond between Tanjiro and Nezuko is so strong that it gets me through even those dragging scenes.

And it’s written by a woman!

4. My Hero Academia

Hey so this might come as a shock for anyone who’s followed me for a while: My Hero Academia is not my favorite anime! I do love it a lot - it’s the only anime on this list that has inspired me to read the manga, write fic, and buy merch. There are so many lovable characters and exciting arcs in this show that there is bound to be something for everyone to enjoy, both inside and outside of canon. It’s a wonderfully paced and animated deconstruction of the superhero genre and besides its deeper themes and commentary, there’s also just a lot of endearing teenage goofin’ to be had, and the show balances the tone of these two almost-equally engaging aspects of the story fairly well.

The downside, for me, is the show’s sexualization of female characters, especially the teenagers. With the likes of pervy fellow classmate Mineta, it’s a flaw that’s hard to avoid and takes up an unfortunate amount of screen time. There are in-universe characters that protest against this behavior, and the female characters are still well-written for the most part, but that doesn’t make up for the canon material including it at all. It’s not a huge part of the show but it’s present enough that it really knocks the ranking down for me.

3. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Out of my top 5, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood is the only one that is complete. Because of that, I can tentatively say that so far, it is the best completed story on this list. From beginning to end, the pacing was perfect - the action never dragged, the characters were never unnecessary, and the plot twists were never unearned. I found myself more invested than I thought I would ever be for the large cast of characters, and everything, including its ending, was satisfying to watch. The animation is fluid and lent itself well to the most impactful scenes, especially involving the flame alchemist Roy Mustang. It’s also written by a woman! Really, the only nitpicks I have were with tonal problems - serious moments would sometimes be ruined by too much slapstick or visual gags.

As I mentioned before, my Top 3 are shows I would recommend to anyone who’s unfamiliar with anime simply because they’re good solid stories with almost no distracting anime tropes. This is a good place to start.

2. The Promised Neverland

The Promised Neverland is deceiving; on the surface it looks like a sweet show about a bunch of adorable kids playing together in the spacious green backyard of their quaint orphanage. Once you finish the first episode, however, you will quickly discover that there is definitely something more sinister lurking under the surface. This show is an expertly executed dark horror/thriller that always had me on the edge of my seat. The cute aesthetic never distracts from the suspense, in fact, it adds to the discomfort when the horrific visuals and expressions are contrasted against the character designs. I loved all of the characters, including the antagonist, who manages to be just as sympathetic as she is menacing. The sound design and music are also beautiful and adds so much to the rich atmosphere. I am definitely excited to see where this series will go!

1. Mob Psycho 100

ONE, the creator of Mob Psycho 100, said the single word he used for the concept for the series was “kindness”. Kindness shines through so much of this story following the life of Mob, a super-psychic kid that just wants to fit in, and I adore every second of it. While many shonen anime stories force the child protagonist to get stronger, become more powerful, and fight in battles against hostile adults, Mob Psycho 100 says “that’s stupid. Kids shouldn’t have to be traumatized by immature power-hungry adults. The only strength that anyone should pursue is strength of character, motivated by self-love and love for others.” And it says it with the most beautiful animation I have EVER seen in a show. The simplistic character designs mean the animators can have as much creative freedom as they like with expressions and movement, and they absolutely use that freedom. Humor is a large part of this mostly-comedy anime, but it makes the serious and introspective scenes so much more important when they do happen. The shifts between these two tones never feel awkward or imbalanced.

Mob Psycho 100 has inspired me to become more experimental and joy-seeking with my art, as well as just become a better person in my own life, which I can’t say for many other anime or many other pieces of media period. Even though a Season 3 hasn’t been officially announced yet, I can still safely say Mob Psycho 100 will forever hold a special place in my heart.

[stacrgazing]

Hi !! juliet your local angst and fluff writer over here. i'm bringing peter pan and rapunzel to you. i can't even put into words how excited i am to be a part of this group. fairy tales have always been a huge weakness of mine because there's nothing like stories with a sprinkle of magic and those romantic or tragic endings. anyways, here's some info about lennox and feel free to hit me up if you'd like to plot !!

( harry styles; 24; he/him ) – is that peter pan? no, that’s lennox fae! the residents remember them as being confident && adventurous and we wonder if they are still careless && stubborn when things get rough. when they dream about home, they remember stargazing, fairy dust, hand shadow puppets, empty promises, bruised knuckles, inked skin. hopefully their happily ever after is coming soon!

ｓｅｃｏｎｄ ｓｔａｒ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｒｉｇｈｔ

× While growing up Lennox almost dreaded the day he would come of age and would finally have to say goodbye to his eternal youth. Besides it meant that he would have to leave the orphanage and he'd have no other choice but to find his own way in life. Yikes !

× Since nobody adopted him until he turned 18, he spent a great amount of his time with the other children at the orphanage, which he also greatly misses. He is now 24, but far away from accepting the seriousness of life.

× Camden is like an endless carnival for him, he is always looking for new challenges and it is no wonder that he found the wrong friends at some point. He desperately needed money and therefore he started selling drugs - or, as he likes to call it, fairy dust.

× He never owned much, but he knows how to make the best out of every situation. He lives in a small apartment, but he has put a lot of effort into it. For the most part, he calls his home neverland, and it's forbidden to talk about the boring worries of adulthood when you're staying at his place.

× Secretly, Lennox is dreaming of a career as an actor, he has already recorded several auditions, sent them in and waited feverishly for an answer. So far, he has only received rejections, but it hardly prevents him from trying again and again. After all, Lennox is totally convinced of his talent.

× Although he tends to be cocky and a bit childish at times, he also has his thoughtful side. His friends mean everything to him, there is nothing he wouldn't do for them and he wouldn't even mind breaking the law if it came down to it.

ｆａｉｔｈ, ｔｒｕｓｔ, ｐｉｘｉｅ ｄｕｓｔ

best friends: one of the few people lennox completely trusts, he'd do anything for them and they're the only person he ever told about his fears.

frenemies: love to hate each others. snarky comments, hateful glances. there are soulmates and then there's these two.

confidants: a shoulder to cry on. someone they can both allow themselves to be weak around without having the fear of possibly being judged.

flat-mates: they live together and everything else is completely up to discussion !

ride or die: no matter what happens they always have each other's back. doesn't really matter if the other is right or wrong, they'll stand by their side. usually end up in a lot of trouble together and will most likely laugh about it later.

secret crush: somehow he can't stop looking for them whenever he's in a crowd. they make him nervous and he isn't sure if he likes to feel that way. one thing is for sure tho, lennox knows that he's in some trouble whenever they're around.

[disney-bnha-zine-blog]

Hi! In the FAQ you say the the pieces are essentially AUs where the BNHA characters are in one of the Disney movies, but does that mean they're bound by the rules of that movie? Like, can they still have quirks and stuff as long as it fits with the theme/general plot of the movie (e.g. kid not allowed to fight in war b/c some rule), or is it more like the BNHA characters are replacing the Disney ones (e.g. kid not allowed to replace retired father in war against Huns b/c no girls allowed)?

Hello Anon. Thank you so much for sending us this great question. You guys always come up with great asks! This answer might be quite long, so please bear with me. Thanks for your patience.   

Let me start this response with a quick heads up. Mulan and Lion King are my favorite disney movies of all time. Thus, as one would expect, I get pretty excited when I talk about them. That’s why in this response, while I might go super in depth about Mulan, I will also try to give some other example from different movie to clear any sort of bias. 

Now that being said… Let’s get down to business! So, first things first, allow me to clarify this. We are not expecting anyone to follow the movie script word by word. As long as you have the core elements of the movie, you can alter certain aspects of it. As a writer or as an artist, do not feel limited. 

HOWEVER…! I am personally conflicted about the example you have provided in your ask. I really do not want you think I am nitpicking or anything but I do think that it doesn’t carry the core elements of Mulan. I know you are just generalizing it and you only mentioned a really small aspect of it in an sentence but please allow me to clarify myself.

When you consider a movie, please ask yourself these core questions. “What is xxx is about?”, “What makes this movie special?”, “Which characters are important?”, “What is the theme?”, “What is the lesson it teaches?” For example, in your example, you mentioned about Mulan so I will start of with it. Ask yourself the following, what makes Mulan special? Yes, there is war just like you have stated in your example, but is that all Mulan is about? The answer is no, it is not. Then, is it about a character who disguises themselves for the sake of their loved one and go against a huge tradition, even risking their life? Perhaps… But even this explanation is too vague if you ask me. 

In fact, let’s ask ourselves even more questions. Why does Mulan even go this extreme? Why does she replace her father’s place, disguise herself as male and go to war to begin with? Is it just selfless devotion? No, not really! Then… what is the reason? Before you answer it, consider following questions: When does she make this decision? Why the the song “reflection” takes part before her decision? Not just the song reflection, but even the matchmaking scene has such a huge consequence on her decision making progress. Remember the shot where she watches her father practice with a sword? What does the argument at the dinner table represent? Or how about, one of my favorite scenes from the movie, where she watches her parents silhouettes in rain… helplessly watching how their interaction play out. Every one of these scenes have a major impact on her decision making progress and it shapes her character and what makes her Mulan. So, if you were planning to execute something similar to this sequence of scenes I have just mentioned, I would suggest you to consider everything and change the certain aspects without taking away from the movie’s magic. When you think about a bnha character to replace Mulan’s spot, put some thought and try to find who would fit best in her role and ask yourself why? Really, ask yourself what makes Mulan the way it is? Why people enjoy this movie a lot? 

Okay okay, i am going to try to wrap it up because I don’t know where to stop. I just get too passionate about those two movies and I love to talk about them. Of course, I don’t expect others to be as passionate about Mulan like I am… but as long as you understand where I am coming from, I would be satisfied. Basically, if I were to put my answer in more simplistic manner, there are certain obvious things that a writer or an artist can easily change without harming the core elements of a movie. In case of Mulan, how she disguises herself or which rules she breaks aren’t that significant and one could easily alter those aspects. But the fact that she is doing those actions are significant and I wouldn’t recommend you to alter them too much or it will no longer be recognizable as Mulan AU. Or one could easily change the father figure into someone else, as long as it is someone the character cherishes deeply. Mod clyde gave an example in our discord chat , which I will include in my response. “I can see someone replace deku as mulan, going to war in place of his missing father in order to protect his country and mother.”

I will give other example, just like I promised earlier. Let’s consider Peterpan. Again, if you want to work with this movie, start with some brainstorming. What is the theme of if? Who are the important characters? What does it teach? What’s its theme? How important Tinkerbell’s role in it? What kind of character is Peterpan? What are his flaws or his strengths? What is Neverland and how significant it is to story? When you think about it: does it glorify never growing up, or does it actually show why growing up is important? Peterpan is a runaway, someone who isn’t mature, who doesn’t really know right or wrong, who doesn’t listen to his parents. I am mainly just providing questions to allow you guys brain storm. As you can see, I am not providing the exact answers. By no means there is only one right or one certain interpretation. However, trying to find answer to these questions can only improve your understanding of the movie. The more comfortable you feel about the movie, the more easier it will be for you to implement Bnha characters. Try to pinpoint the important aspects of a movie that you are working with and make sense of disney’s magical world by using BNHA cast as its heros~ I know all of you are capable of doing this… annnnnnd I am so excited to read your thoughts in your applications!

To conclude this huge response, this is a bnha x disney zine. Not just a bnha centric zine. While art pieces and written essays are gonna focus on Bnha characters, the movie’s should also be distinguishable enough. Someone should be able to easily say “ ahhh this is xxxx disney movie” when they see an artwork or a written piece. I hope you are satisfied with this answer. If you have any further concerns or questions, please do not hesitate to ask. I wish you good luck with the application. Thank you all for your support.   

[hannah-mic]

Rescue me- Killian jones x reader imagine

Guys since I’m getting more attention now bc of the Chicago convention I figured I’d post this- this fanfic has been my baby for the past 3 months so please don’t hate on it- it is also not all original info bc it does follow the plot of season 3 in Neverland- just with the reader added to the mix. I’m really excited for y'all to read it and I hope you do bc I always find myself wondering why can’t imagines be longer? So I decided to write one. No hate please, please enjoy! I know there may be some grammatical errors

As you look up over the Jolly Roger you see it there in the distance, Neverland. This is by far the last place you thought you’d be today. You haven’t been here in a long time. And you didn’t leave on exactly the greatest terms with Peter. In that story that would make you Wendy Darling, but you are no Wendy Darling. Yes that’s who you are in the book but you are not from the enchanted forest and you are not from London. You are from America and while on a cruise with your parents, the ship sank killing everyone except you. Next thing you know you washed up a shore Neverland and was rescued by none other than Peter Pan himself. You blink out of your memories as Hook comes up next to you. “Are you ok, love?” You always got gushy when he called you love. You and Killian had been dating for 6 months now, but with all the craziness in Storybrooke you’ve barely had time to be in the relationship. “I’m fine,” you reply, “But I know we’re doing a good thing and all but I’d much rather be spending time with you back home. I can’t help but wonder why you’re doing this,” you say as you glance over at Emma. Hook follows your glance. “(y/n) are you jealous? You know that I only have eyes for you. But I’m a hero now and this is what heroes do.” He tells you as he wraps his arms around your waist. “Your right. I’m sorry,” you say sheepishly as you look down. He kisses you on the forehead. “That’s ok, that means that you want me all to yourself,” he chuckles. You change the subject, “Did Pan tell you anything when he kidnapped Henry?” “He was very vague, as Pan usually is, all he said was something about ransom, something about a trade.” All the color drained out of your face. Oh no, you thought. Now you were gonna have to tell him about what happened. “(y/n)? What’s wrong? Tell me,” Hook looks at you with urgency. You pull him by the hand into his cabin. “Well…. you know how you had a first love, Mila?” He nods. “I had a first love. Unfortunately it was Peter.” “Pan? Pan! Pan was your first love!!” Killian freaks out, he is very possessive of you. “And now you’re calling him Peter like he’s some sort of regular human?!!” Hook is outraged. “He wasn’t always like that,” you urge. “ I’m gonna have to tell you what happened and fast because from what he said I can tell you he’s coming for me.” “Like hell he’ll get you,” Killian growled. You stroke his arm to calm him down. “It all started when I was on a cruise with my parents. The ship sunk and left only me alive. I washed up on the shores of Neverland. The only thing I remember before I passed out was Peter carrying me inland. I woke up two days later in the burrow. Peter asked me who I was and I told him. I told him how there was nothing left for me as a 14 year old with no parents or family. So he told me I could stay there and live with him. So I said yes because I was a child and it sounded exciting. I stayed in the burrow with Peter and he introduced me to the lost boys. He told me they were boys he rescued from your crew and before you say anything yes I know that he actually kidnapped them from you. So we did everything together. Hunting, playing, he learned quickly that I didn’t mind letting my hair down and getting messy. He said that’s what he liked best about me. One day, while all the lost boys were swimming in the lagoon, Peter and I sat on a rock near the shore. He blurted out to me that he loved me. He said he wanted to marry me and make me the queen of Neverland, and stay alongside him for the rest of our lives. So I said ok. We had the shaman of one of the Indian tribes perform our ceremony. So I was happy with Peter. But something I realized about three years into my stay, was that we weren’t aging, we weren’t aging at all. So I asked Peter about this and he said he didn’t know why but, that was the magic of the island. By then I had become friends with one of the girls of the nearest tribe, Tiger Lilly. I began to confide in her, rather than Peter. She told me of the adventures she went on and all the things she’d seen. I was living vicariously through her, but one day I realized that it was not enough. I was hesitant to tell Peter about this, but one day I finally did. One day I told him I wanted adventure and to explore and to live, but I still loved him. That didn’t change. Well he told me about how he cannot leave the island for extended periods of time or he will die. So I decided to stay with him, but over the years I grew very unhappy. He noticed this. One day he asked me if I wanted to leave, and I confessed that I did. He said nothing after that and we grew silent over the next few days. I took that as a sign that he wouldn’t try to stop me but boy was I wrong. One day he caught me trying to leave the island on some flim-flam makeshift raft. Well I don’t know what came over him but he went off. He said we had a bond, that we were married and I was his queen and that I could never leave him. So he began to keep a closer eye on me. He had me trapped. I tried to escape again, but he caught me, and this time he kept me tied up in the burrow where I didn’t see the sun shine for 3 months. Finally when he was confident I would obey, he began to let me roam again. This is when I met Ariel. I was wading in the bay one day when I saw her tail flip around a rock. I went after her out of curiosity. So she actually talked to me and she said she saw me with Peter and how he had control of me and she said she could help me escape. She said to meet her at the rock in three days and all I needed to bring was a talisman of great value to me. I chose my mother’s locket she gave me as the ship was going down before she drowned. I arrived and Ariel explained what was to happen. She poured the potion over my locket and then had me put it on. When I did, I grew a tail. She told me as long as I had the necklace on I would be a mermaid. So we swam off and as a looked back at Neverland I saw Peter on the shore, staring at me crying but angry. He screamed my name into the wind. That was all it took for me to bolt off into the distance. When I arrived back in South Carolina I thanked her and was on my way. He never came back to get me, but I would always find the occasional message next to me when I woke up, telling me how pretty I was while I slept or telling me about how he was sorry and he didn’t blame me for leaving. Leaving the island to watch me each night greatly weakened him. I stopped getting them when the curse hit and I never thought I would see Peter again. I was on that island for a grand total of 7 years all the while not aging, yet wiser beyond my years. So I hid myself away, moved from town to town, until I was old enough to get my own place which just happened to be right where Storybrooke was moments before the curse hit. Since I am technically a character in the book I too was under the curse the same until Emma broke it. But I had no one there, until I met you.” You finished the story and was thoroughly surprised at how quiet and respectful Hook was being. “So that’s it,” You said. “I’m guessing Peter decided that it was time he got me back.” Killian looked up at you with sad eyes. “I won’t let that happen,” he said as he kissed your knuckles. Just then you both heard a crashing outside and you bolted out the door. Standing there on the side of the ship was none other than Peter Pan himself. “Give me back my son!” Emma yelled as she tried to slice him with her sword. He just flew around the ship and landed directly behind you and Killian. “Aww, yes here’s what I came for. Turn over (y/n) and then I’ll think about giving you your son back. But then again, it’s not really up to you is it?” He laughs as he grabs your hand and begins your ascent into the air. “(y/n)! NO!!!!!!!!!” Killian screams in agony as he grabs your hand and desperately holds on. Peter shoots forward and you lose Hook’s grip. You look at your boyfriend below you tears streaming down your face. “I WILL FIND YOU!” Hook shouts as you fade away into the clouds.

Peter drags you through the air not bothering to look at you yet. “Peter this is over! Let this go!” You shout. “Let me go!” “As you wish,” he replies with a smirk as he releases your hand from his. You feel yourself free fall, the pit of your stomach repeatedly dropping. You hear screams of agony and you know it must be Killian watching you fall to your certain death. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, hoping death isn’t as bad as you thought it is. Just as you brace yourself for impact, you hit the water smoothly and sink below. You come up, hoping that Hook can see your ok, but you suddenly get dragged back down again. It’s that damned crocodile. He shreds the flannel shirt your wearing, along with your jeans and he yanks the shoes from your feet. You swim and paddle with all your might to the shore. You outswam the croc. You feel relieve flood through your belly just as you collapse onshore. You feel familiar arms scoop you up and carry you inland. You look up and see Peter’s warm green eyes staring back at you. You know In your head right then that he wanted it to happen like this, just as it did before, it was all a part of his plan. The smirk he gives you confirms this, just as you pass out.

You wake up, warm, in Peter’s bed inside the burrow. You hear a knock at the door. “Come in,” you say. Peter comes in with a towel and soap in hand. “I’m sorry about the nasty fall you took.” Despite your instincts, a part of you feels like he really is sorry. “Anyways, here’s a towel and soap and in the trunk there you’ll find some of your clothes I kept after you left. I thought you’d like to wash up. Don’t worry the boys and I are going hunting, we’ll be back for dinner in about an hour or two. See you then.” He hands you the towel and soap and lingers, his hands resting on yours. He then turns and walks out the door. You smile to yourself. Oh no! You think, what is happening? You are loyal to one man, Killian Jones, you can’t let Peter cloud your loyalty. You shake yourself out of your thoughts as you open the trunk at the end of his bed. You look inside and realize it’s the trunk that washed up with you on shore, but there are all newer clothes in it, as if he knew you would come back when you were older and more grown. On top was a note that said, “All clothes Tiger Lilly collected on her adventures that she offered to give to me before she left.” You smile with sadness at the thought of Tiger Lilly gone from this place. Inside you pull out a short white underdress with a lacy bottom trim. Over that you pair a blue long sleeve cloth dress that matches your eyes. To finish it off you pull your brown worn combat boots from the bottom of the trunk. You grab your soap and towel as you head down to the stream.

In the stream as you bathe yourself you feel calmer. You always felt calm in the water. You feel someone playfully pull at your hair. You automatically freak out as you think it might be Peter. “Calm down silly it’s just me,” you here a high pitched voice giggle behind you. You smile to yourself. “Aquata, how are you?” you turn around with a smirk. “Just fine silly goose! I’ve missed you so. Ariel is gone now, off with her prince Eric, but I’m here. How come your back?” “Peter kidnapped my friend’s son Henry so as ransom he wants to trade Henry for me because he thinks that I need to come back and be his queen again. But there’s a reason why I left and now I’m happy. I’m with Killian now, and I’m so happy. I just want to get back to him.” Your eyes show your sadness. “Killian Jones? Captain Hook? You’re with him? My how lucky you are, he is quite the dream boat.” You smile to yourself. “He is.” You look up at the sky, realizing how late it is. “Oh shoot, I better hurry up, before Peter and the boys get back.” Aquata waves at you as she dives below the surface. You finish up and wrap yourself in a towel as you hurry back to the burrow.

Back in the burrow you lay your clothes out on the bed. You take your towel off and shiver at the cold. You throw your clothes on and look around the room. You dig through the trunk and you pull out a ribbon. You intricately braid your hair around your head in a crown, the ribbon running through it. You look in the mirror and feel like something’s missing. You run over to the nightstand and dig through it. You remember your locket was missing one night and you suspected Peter took it as he watched you sleep one night. You find it in the drawer and shove it in your pocket just as you hear the door creak open. You turn around and try to look innocent. “Hello darling,” Peter says to you as he shuts the door behind him. “Dinner’s ready whenever you are. Henry will be there. I thought you’d like to see him.” “Sounds great! I’d love to see Henry!” You smile, coming up with a plan.

Meanwhile back at the ship “Alright now we’re docked, now come on let’s go!” Hook is anxious to find you. “Hook! You’ve got to calm down! We’re gonna get (y/n) back, but we have to go in there with a plan, otherwise all hell will break loose and one of us could die,” Emma tries to reason with him. “Hook why don’t we have a talk,” David says. They both walk over to the edge of the ship. Hook looks out over the water with sad eyes. “Listen, I know this is hard, but we have to go in there level headed. You don’t want anything to happen to (y/n). Neither do I. So we have to make a plan. You know as much as I do that Pan can be really tricky. So just be patient man. I know it’s a lot to ask when the one you love is in danger, believe me I know. But just trust me on this ok?” David finishes and pats Hook on the shoulder. “I know mate but my heart aches. I can’t imagine being without her. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to her. And what if she falls back in love with him. Yes I had a first love too but Mila is dead. I’ve moved on.” David looks at Hook in bewilderment. “How can you not see how much (y/n) loves you. She would never do that to you. She may have moments of weakness, but we’re human. She loves you. She’s loyal to you, but Peter is a part of her childhood. You have to understand that she had no one and he rescued her you have to be patient with her but I promise you I see the way she looks at you and I know that she is yours. So what do you say, let’s go get her back!” “Let’s do this!” Hook says with determination.

Back on the island You emerge from the burrow searching for Henry with your eyes. You finally see him sitting on a log. You sprint over to him. “Henry!” you shout, “It’s so good to see you!” You pull him in your arms and squeeze him. “Are you ok, are you hurt?” You still didn’t let go of him. “I’m fine (y/n) really I’m fine. But you’re squeezing me a little tight.” “Oh sorry,” you release him. “Ah what a heartfelt reunion,” Peter ruefully smiles at you and Henry, a jealous look in his eyes. Just then one of the lost boys, one you don’t recognize hands you dinner on a plate, that is a cutting of tree. Your plan would work out perfectly. You pretend to eat your dinner, but chuck your chicken into the woods. Henry raises his eyebrows at you. You begin to carve into the wood, sweat dripping down your brow. 20 minutes later you finished. You nudge Henry with your leg. He looks at the plate. It reads, “Emma’s coming. Don’t worry.” He gives one little nod to show he understands. There’s nothing left to do now but sit and watch the lost boys as they dance around the fire for hours.

Hours later Peter stands and announces that the celebration is finished. “The queen has returned!” All the lost boys cheer. He holds out his hand to you. You shake your head no. “Alright, fine. Now my queen, would you like to sleep in the burrow, or would you prefer a nice cage out here just like Henry.” “If Henry’s out here then so am I,” you reply. “Alright, Felix, you keep the first watch,” Peter shouts over his shoulder. The lost boys pull out two cages made from bamboo. “As you wish my lady,” Peter says as he opens the cage. You crawl in and turn around to look at him. You stare at him with sad eyes. “Why does it have to be this way,” you ask him. “You know why (y/n),” he grabs your hands through the bars and kisses your fingers as he slowly backs away. Henry stares at you from across the way. “What was that about,” he eyes you. “It’s a lot to explain,” you reply. “Alright. It all began when I washed up on shore after a ship wreck. I was 13. Now We don’t have much time so I’m gonna have to cut to the short version. I stayed here with Peter for 7 years. We fell in love and I was made officially the queen of Neverland. Over time I grew unhappy because I wanted to see the world. Peter can’t leave the island for extended periods of time. So when I tried to leave he wigged out and told me I had to stay, because we were bonded. He kept me captive until he thought it was okay to trust me again. Once he did, that was when I met Ariel and she helped me escape. Peter never forgave me,” you finished as you looked down at your feet. “Wow it all makes sense now. Hey it’s ok, I’m not judging you,” Henry looked at you. You heard rustling in the leaves. “Felix is coming. Listen to me very closely. We cannot try to escape. I hardened Peter’s heart. He will not hesitate to kill anyone. So stick with me and do as I say because I cannot have you die. Okay?” “Okay.” Just then Felix emerged through the leaves. “Ah your highness,” Felix sarcastically says. “Don’t even think about trying to talk to Henry.” “Don’t worry I won’t,” you stare back at him. You lay down in the cage and slowly fall asleep, though slightly uncomfortable.

Meanwhile back with the rescue team

“Alright Hook and I will go grab some firewood, you guys set up camp,” Emma states. Hook walks into the woods, dragging his feet. Eventually Emma passed him. She turns around. “Hey listen Hook, I know this is really hard on you. But she’s just a girl. You’ve been with tons of others before. Why-” Hook cuts her off, “How can you say that? (y/n) means the world to me. She’s everything I’ve been missing in my life. Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean I’m gonna stand here and listen to you say these things.” “Woah. Jealous? I’m not jealous. Neal’s probably out there dead for Christ sake! Just as I was letting him back in my heart. Let’s get one thing straight, I am not jealous of you and (y/n), I am just trying to be a voice of reason here.” Hook roles his eyes. Emma continues, “In all seriousness Hook, you and I, we understand each other. We’re very similar. So I’m just trying to make you think. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.” Hook looks up at her. “Emma, really it’s ok. I appreciate you trying to think like me and help me, but (y/n) is my world now. I would rather die than lose her. This, what I have with her, it’s more special than anything I’ve ever had before, even with Mila.” Hook says with all sincerity. “That’s what I had with Neal,” Emma looks down, sorrow in her eyes. “Then for your sake, I hope he’s not dead. I hope Baelfire finds his way back to you and your boy soon,” Hook finishes by hugging Emma quickly, yet without awkwardness. “Now, lets head back to camp,” Emma smiles as she walks forward. “It’s all gonna be ok.” Hook trudges behind her. He looks up at the sky and mutters, “I miss you, (y/n).”

The next day, at the burrow.

You slowly open your eyes, the sun peeking through your lids. You gradually sit up. “Aw the lovely queen is awake,” Felix’s voice drips with sarcasm. “Pan requests your presence at the lagoon. Now get up.” You clamber onto your feet. It’s much warmer on the island today, you shed your shoes. “Come on Henry,” you gesture. “Oh, no, Henry will be staying here. We’d like to test his…… loyalty to Pan.” Panic runs through your body. “Felix can you go away I want to take off my underdress. Otherwise I can go tell Peter,” you smirk at him. Felix growls and walks away. You quickly pull out your underdress from underneath your outer clothing. Then you run over to Henry’s cage. “Henry, listen to me very carefully. They want you to escape, it’s a trap. I’m not sure what is set up, but it won’t be good. You need to convince Pan that you are loyal to him. Stay here. Please. Remember what I told you.” Felix comes trudging over and grabs you by the arm. “Time to go, your highness.” You look back at Henry to look to see if he understands at all. He gives you a small nod. You turn your head around. And begin the trek to the beach.

You stand on the shore, the waves rushing over your toes. You close your eyes and breath in the fresh, salty air. You can’t help but smile, as it brings back the memory of the time someone first said I love you. Peter comes up behind you. “Shall we?” You follow him to the edge of the lagoon and you both sit on the rock where it happened. “Do you remember the first time I took you to this spot?” He looks at you, a sparkle in his eyes. “How could I forget,” you look back at him behind you, and can’t help but remember how fond you used to be of each other. “Tell it to me again,” says Peter. You sigh but do it anyway. “I had been on the island for about five months. You decided we would take a trip to the lagoon with the lost boys. While they were all swimming, you pulled me by the hand and brought me over to this spot. You looked at me for about 3 minutes before even saying anything. You brushed my hair aside and blurted out “I love you” You told me you wanted me to live here with you forever. It made me the happiest girl at that moment. Someone wanted me, and after my parents being unloving, I craved this feeling more than anything. So I told you I would stay here with you. We decided to have a celebration right then and there. And then we kissed. We kissed and kissed and then for a while we just lay there while you held me.“ You realized you were smiling. "We were happy then, but I was a prisoner on this island Peter. And that is why we never could work. Not then not now.” Peter looks at you with the biggest grin. “But now we can. I found a way to be able to leave Neverland. Now we can be together, (y/n), we can have everything you ever wanted.” He waited eagerly for your response. You looked at him with sad eyes. “Peter, I really am sorry, truly. But I’m with Killian now. And I love him. If you love me you’ll let me be happy.” You wait for his response. He looks at you, crushed. “Someday you’ll see it my way. I’ll let you be with your thoughts. Come back for dinner in a few hours?” You nod. “I love you (y/n),” he kissed your hand and summons the lost boys as they disappear into the woods. You look out over the water, a salty tear rolled down your cheek and made a ripple in the water below you. Suddenly a head pops up. “My dear (y/n) what’s the matter?” Aquata gazed at you with her deep eyes. “I was just remembering how happy I was. And wishing, that things weren’t so complicated. Why did this have to happen now?” You quickly wipe away your tears, not liking to show emotion. “My dear, it will all resolve itself, I promise. I’m always here if you need me,” Aquata squeezes your hand before she slips below the surface. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off, deciding to take a walk on the beach. The wind picks up pulling the ribbon out of your hair, leaving waves of hair and dress billowing behind you.

The rescue team “I think we’re lost. Great.” “Regina don’t be so negative,” Mary Margaret replies. “I hate to say it mom but I think she’s right,” Emma remarks. Hook climbs up on to a tree stump to try to get his bearings. He pulls out his eyeglass. Circling around he looks for the horizon to get his bearings he scans over the beach. His heart stops. “I’d know that mess of hair anywhere,” he gasps. “(y/n).” Hook turns to the crowd. “Don’t wait up for me,” and with the last word, Hook sprints into the trees, off in the direction of the beach.

On the beach You walk slowly, digging your feet into the sand. You pick up shells that interest you and shove them in your pocket. Finally, you let the emotion wash over you. You sit down in the sand and hug your knees into your chest, you are sobbing so much you don’t even here the trees rustling behind you. Suddenly someone shouts at you, “(y/n)!!!!!” You turn around slowly, not believing your own eyes. You slowly rise to your feet. Hand over your mouth, in awe you say, “Oh my god, Killian?” You rush into his arms and wrap yourself around him, forgetting how much you missed him. “Killian!” You sob into his chest, soaking his shirt. He kisses you on the forehead and for a while the two of you just stand there as he slowly rocks you. Finally Killian says, “(y/n), why are you crying?” “It’s Peter. He’s confusing me and playing with my emotions by bringing back memories of our past. He’s taunting me. Oh Killian I’m so sorry,” you mutter into his chest. “It’s alright love, he was a part of your life, he rescued you. I understand,” Hook says remembering what David told him about us all having weaknesses. He holds you and takes a deep whiff of your hair. You can tell how much he missed you. So you sit there for hours in his arms, just listening to each other breathing. Just crying, and breathing, and kissing. Finally Killian says, “Lets go love. The Jolly Roger is right there. I can’t bear to let you go again,” he looks at you with utter sadness radiating from his Caribbean blue eyes. “Killian you know we can’t do that. We can’t leave the others behind. He’ll kill Henry. You have to be strong for me. Please,” you hold his hand tight and kiss him on the cheek. You can taste the saltiness of his tears. You look at the sky, knowing Pan will be expecting you back soon. You grab Killian’s hand and put it on your chest. You look him square in the eyes. “This heart, Killian this heart beats only for you, I promise. I am yours. Now come and rescue me so that I never have to leave your side again.” You grab him by the hand, making you both stand up. You smash your lips against his with more fire than ever between you. As you stand there nose to nose heavily breathing, you stroke his hair and give him one last kiss as you repeat, “Come rescue me.” Before your heart breaks even more, you force yourself to let go of him and retreat into the woods. As you look back at him you watch the man you love sink to his knees as he cries out your name in agony.

When you get close to the burrow, you wipe your eyes and adjust your hair, hoping Pan will not notice anything, but ready if he does. You take a seat next to Henry on a log. He questions you with his eyes. “How are you feeling?” Peter asks you. “I’m tired, I’m emotionally drained. I’d much prefer to sleep in the burrow tonight, but I will not if Henry is still out here.” “As you wish my lady,” and with that Pan escorts you into the burrow. He brings you into his room. “I have more of your clothes in the trunk and you can use my bed.” “Thank you Peter,” you whisper quietly. And with that Peter backs out the door. You open the chest and find your old clothes you took off in the cage stuffed in there. Underneath you find a pair of soft, silky, blue striped pajamas. You know these must be Peter’s but you put them on anyways. You pull your hair into a low ponytail and climb under the covers. Underneath you find the teddy bear Peter made for you when you first got here. You smile to yourself as you cuddle up and begin to fade off into a warm deep sleep.

The rescue team They all sit in a circle, silent waiting for him. Suddenly Hook bursts through the trees, panting. “What the hell were you thinking,” Regina scolds. “I can’t believe you would-” Regina stops as soon as she sees the tears streaming down his face. They all look at him and Emma announces for the group, “I’m sorry Killian, that must have been terrible getting to see her and not getting to bring her home.” He stares at the ground. “Aye,” is all he says as he saunters off towards his tent. And into the night, he tosses and turns, never falling asleep, for he can’t sleep without you by his side.

The next morning, in the burrow.

You slowly open your eyes, surprised at how well you slept. You suddenly feel hopeful as you feel big strong arms wrapped around you, thinking that it’s Killian. You turn and realize it’s Pan and automatically feel guilty for having slept so well next to him. You jump to your feet. “I’m sorry love I couldn’t resist,” Pan smiles at you. “Enough games Peter!” You feel the blood rushing to your cheeks. “I’m with Killian, and I will never be with you again. You can hold me here against my will all you want but that will never make me love you!” you shout panting once you’re finished. “You will love me, I know you do! Now we can continue this conversation later, I have a very important meeting with the lost boys to get to,” and with that he turns and walks out the door. You fall back onto the bed crying, you feel so stuck. Just then Henry bursts into the room through the other door, beaming. “I got a message. They’re planning an ambush, a rescue and escape tonight, after dinner,” he says holding up the mirror. You realize then that Regina must have contacted him through the other half. You breathe a sigh of relief. “Well then, let’s get ready,” you say as you and Henry start digging through Pan’s things for supplies.

The rescue team “Alright does everyone understand the plan or do I have to explain it again?” Regina stares around the circle. “We have to get our son back, right Emma?” “Regina’s right, without a doubt, this plan has to go off without a hitch or we could be risking Henry and (y/n)’s lives.” Hook grimaced at the thought of this. “It will, don’t worry Emma,” Mary Margaret reassures her. “Alright so we surround the camp. Regina you slowly take out the lost boys guarding Henry. Take out as many as you have to to be able to get him away quietly. Then (y/n) dumps the potion on Peter so that he can’t fly away. Then I’ll pull my sword on him and we’ll duel while Hook grabs (y/n). Then we get the hell out of there. Any questions? I didn’t think so. Alright let’s get our loved ones back.” Determination ebbed around the entire group as they marched off towards the burrow.

In the burrow. “Henry, I want you to have this knife on you just in case. I don’t want you to have to use it, but at this point we do what we have to. I wanna get home tonight.” “Got it,” he replied. “(Y/n), there’s something I forgot to mention. Mom transported this potion through the mirror to me. She says that at the right moment you have to dump it on Peter so that he can’t fly away. She says when you see Regina grab me, after she knocks out the guards, that’s when you have to do it.” “Wow, no pressure or anything,” you reply trying to lighten the mood. Henry puts it in your hands and wraps your fingers around it. “It’s now or never,” you tell each other. Just then Peter comes through the doorway. “What’s going on in here, exactly,” he looks at you suspiciously. You automatically say, “I was trying to find some of Tinkerbell’s things to show Henry. I thought he would find it interesting.” “Ah well I don’t want Henry getting any ideas with fairy dust now. Back to the cage with you,” Pan grabs Henry by the shoulder and leads him outside.

Dinner time. You try to act the same as you’ve always been these past two days, but you can feel the weight of the potion in your pocket and you imagine Peter noticing it at any moment. Before dinner you changed back into a one of Tiger Lilly’s small leather Indian dresses. It had fringe and one sleeve that went over your shoulder. It hugged your body, for an easy getaway. You shoved your locket in your dress and went barefoot. Back out at dinner you began to sweat. Pull yourself together, you thought. This has to go of without a hitch. Every now and then you eyed Henry. You kept an eye on his watch, waiting for it to turn to six. That was when Regina would come. You watched it tick from 5:59 to 6:00. As sure as ever you saw Regina slip into view. You decided to help by distracting Peter. “Peter?” You called. “Yes, what is it?” He turns toward you, looking away from Regina’s direction. “Why are you doing this to me, do you really care, or are you just messing with me.” He ignored your question with a question. “Come, will you dance with me just once, just like old times?” You nod your head. He pulls you by the hands up off the log. He spins you around and round again. You smile at him, intent on making him look only at you. “You look even more beautiful now that you’re grown up,” he stares at you. You blush. Then you grab his hands and turn him around to check. Regina is pulling Henry out of the cage. It’s time. You wrap your arms around Peter’s neck. “Do you really think we could be happy, even after you held me here against my will?” He moves closer, “I do. Do you?” You smile at him, but suddenly say straight, “I’m sorry Peter but I don’t.” And with that you flip the cap off of the potion and dumped it on his head. He’s frozen for a moment as he realizes what you’ve have just done. “(Y/n) you will regret this,” Pan grits through his teeth as you slowly back away. Emma comes out swinging from the woods ready to fight. The lost boys start waking up which means this is going to be a hard fight. Emma and Pan start dueling. You see the others come out to help. Your heart stops as you watch Killian emerge from the woods. Swords clinking around you, blood beginning to shed, but that doesn’t matter to you. You begin to run towards him. You reach the edge of the circle in what seems like forever and intertwine your fingers together. Hook kisses you with such desperation you don’t see him coming. Felix. Hook moves to put you behind him but it is too late. Felix yanks you back by your hair and drags you back towards the center of camp. “I don’t think so your highness.” You are shrieking as he pulls you by the hair. In one swift motion Pan kicks Emma to the ground giving Felix the opportunity to pass you to him. You feel the cold steel brush against your throat as Peter yells “STOP!” You see the panic rise up in Regina’s eyes and know that Henry is being held up next to you. “Now I need Henry for a certain… task shall we say and then you can have him back. You have my word on that. But (y/n) is mine. You will never see her again. And I will not hesitate to run this knife through her because if I can’t have her no one can.” “NO!” Hook screams as he runs forward towards you. Hook punches Pan in the face, but not before you start to feel a warmth spread through your lower abdomen. You look down and realize that somehow the knife has grazed you. You bring your hands down to try and cover the wound before the blood spills over. You stumble down to the ground, growing weaker. Hook pushes Pan aside and runs to you. He catches you in his arms as you fall. “Oh my god! (Y/n), what have I done,” his tears fall onto your face as he looks down at you. He moves your hands. You bring your hand to his chin. “Hey, look at me, it’s ok. It’s not fatal, I’ll be fine I promise.” And you knew in your heart you would be fine, but that wasn’t the problem. “Killian, I love you. But I don’t want to see you get hurt. I think you should go. Pan is holding onto me and he’s never going to let go. Get Henry and get out of here.” “No! I won’t leave you. (y/n) I love you. I can’t live without you. I’d rather die than live without you. So get this into your head. I’m not leaving you. Not ever. You’re stuck with me,” Killian smirks at you. “Good, because I really wouldn’t have it any other way. If you insist on being so stubborn you really must get better at rescuing me,” you weakly laugh. You can feel your vision getting foggy. Killian plants a tender kiss on your forehead, but you pull his head down to your lips. You kiss him with a need that you’ve never felt before. You never want to leave his side. With his lips on yours, you don’t even feel the pain in your side. Behind you Pan picks himself up on his feet and walks over slowly. Killian glances up as you try to turn around. “Go get out of here,” you push him away with a sense of urgency. “I will come back for you (y/n). I promise.” “I know,” you smile at him. “Now go.” He plants his lips on yours and squeezes your hand. Next thing you know Killian and the rest are running off into the forest, Henry is being put back in his cage, and Pan is scooping you up over his shoulder. You look at Killian running off, tears running down your cheeks. “Come rescue me,” you whisper into the wind, right before the world turns black.

The rescue team “Damn damn damn!” Hook pounds his fist against a tree. “That was too close,” Emma says. “You got that right, we almost killed (y/n)!” Regina yells. “Alright we all need to calm down. What we really need to do is find out what Pan wants with Henry, for some reason I feel like that it linked to how he can keep (y/n),” Mary Margaret explains. “I think she’s right,” Regina says, “I think it’s all linked somehow and if we want to succeed next time we have to know what’s going on.” They all silently nod at each other. Hook walks off into the forest, no one bothers to follow him, because they know he needs time to grieve almost having you back. He begins pacing around in circles. Finally he stabs a tree repeatedly with his hook. “Arghhggh! Damnit damnit damnit!” He continues to stab the tree. His hook gets caught in the tree. He pulls it out and begins to scrape his wrist with his hook. He carves your name into his skin, blood dripping from his hook. He looks up at the sky. “(Y/n), I promise that I will get you back. I’m so so sorry.” He puts his hook back on and sits down at the base of his tree. He begins to set up a plan in the dirt about how he can secretly see you again. He has to make sure you’re ok.

The next morning in the burrow You slowly open your eyes and try to sit up. Automatically you feel a striking pain in your side. “Hey, don’t try to sit up. Listen, (y/n) I’m so sorry that this happened. Really. Now let me help you,” Peter looks down at you with sorrow in his eyes. You slowly nod. He pushes up your shirt and peels back your bandage. Underneath is a nasty slit in your skin, that smells like its rotting. Peter runs his hand over the wound. You feel warmth radiating from it, when you look down, the slit is gone. He healed you with his magic. You smile up at him. “Thank you,” you croak. He bends down and kisses you where the wound was. It tickles and you giggle. “Now, we’ll talk later, because I really love you and I want you to be happy.” And with that he kisses you on the forehead and walks out the door.

The rescue team “I’ll be back in a few hours. I have some business to take care of down at the lagoon,” Hook says as he walks off. No one questions him. 15 minutes later he arrives at the lagoon. He pulls out a mermaid whistle from his pocket and blows on it. Automatically Aquata surfaces from beneath the water. “Ahhh Killian, what a lovely surprise. What can I do for you?” “(Y/n)’s wound will have festered by now and she’ll need to come rinse it out. When she comes down here I want you tell her to meet me on the spot where I found her at dusk. Can you do that?” “Of course I can, but what will you give me in return?” Hook knew how to handle this, the mermaids had a huge thing for him. So Hook bends down and kisses Aquata on the cheek. Aquata blushes a deep red and replies, “that’ll do.” And with that she sinks below the surface.

A few hours later You blink open your eyes and sit up. You feel immensely better, as if it never happened. You decide it’s time to go wash up. So you dig through the trunk and fish out some soap, and a towel. And with that, you head down to the lagoon. You wade into the stream and wash up. You go underwater and reach around blindly for some algae. You run it through your hair as a conditioner. As you finish up you float on your back and close your eyes. You hear someone surface next to you. Without opening your eyes you ask, “Aquata what do you want.” “It’s Killian.” With that you stand up and ask her urgently, “What, what’s wrong? Is he ok?” “He’s fine, but he wants to see you. He wants to make sure you’re ok. I tried to tell him I could check up on you to make sure you’re ok and that it would be less dangerous but he wouldn’t allow it. He wants you to meet him here at dusk. Can you do that,” she asks. “It’ll be hard but I’ll do anything to see my Killian! I’ll be there. Thanks Aquata!” You yell as you sprint back to the burrow.

The rescue team “Hook don’t do this! It’s a bad idea,” Emma tries to reason with him. “I have to, I have to make sure she’s ok!” “She told you it wasn’t fatal,” Emma rebutted. David buts in, “I understand what Hook is going through. If he wants to see her, than there is nothing that you can say that will keep him from her.” “Aye, thank you mate,” Hook looks at him with gratitude. “Be careful,” Emma says as she pats him on the arm. “Good luck.” And with that Hook walks off in the direction of the beach.

Back at the burrow, 20 minutes after dusk. “Peter, can we go to bed now. I may be healed but I’m still awful tired from last night.” Peter is surprised that you said we. “Of course darling,” he smiles. And with that, the two of you walk off into the burrow. You climb into Peter’s bed, in his comfy blue striped pajamas, which are huge on you. “Good night Peter,” you whisper as you kiss him on the cheek. Any affection you show him is sure to make him sleep easier. You wait for what seems like forever until you hear him snoring soundly beside you. You carefully pick up his arm and remove it from around you. He continually snores. You smile as you pick yourself up off the bed. You carefully sneak out the door and as soon as you step outside you sprint towards the beach.

Hook Hook sits on the beach, knees drawn into his chest staring around. He looks up at the sky thinking he must have been sitting here for 2 hours. Just then he hears the rustling of leaves behind him and turns around.

You burst onto the beach, panting. Hook turns around just in time to catch you as you throw yourself into his arms. You kiss his face all over. “Mwah mwah mwah mwwwwah. My Killian!” He chuckles, “Alright alright (y/n), you’re gonna knock me over.” Just then you knock him over. “I’ve missed you! Everyday I’m a part from you is agony,” you say. “Aye it’s agony for me as well love. I never want to be a part from you again.” He turns you around, and you sit in his lap, his arms around you. You both sit there for a while, looking at the horizon. You play with his leather cuffs and discover your name carved into his skin. You gasp, “Killian why did you do this?” He looks at you with sad eyes. “I missed you so much. I was so mad that it was my fault you got injured, I needed to punish myself.” You look up at him. “Oh no, Killian no! It wasn’t your fault, I don’t ever want to be the cause of your pain.” You lift his hand up and kiss his cut. For a while you just hold his hand, kissing it and nuzzling into his chest. You can smell his usual musty scent of leather and rum. Finally, you say, “What are we going to do, Killian? Is this how it’s going to be forever. Secret meetings, never getting to sleep by your side?” You look up at him, a single tear rolling down your cheek. Killian pulls your chin up toward him, “Hey, love I promise. As soon we figure out what Pan wants with Henry, we’ll plan our final rescue. And then we’ll never have to be a part again. My vow to you, Is that once we return to Storybrooke we will never be a part again. This I promise,” Killian says to you as he pulls something out of his pocket. Your breath catches in your throat. “Killian?…..” you can’t even finish. “(Y/n), will you marry me? That is as soon as we get back to Storybrooke.” You look at him with the biggest smile on your face, “It would make me the happiest girl on earth!” You say as you bring his lips to yours. You kiss him and kiss him smiling the entire time. He slips his ring onto your finger. For a while the two of you lay there, his arms around you, in peace forgetting about Pan, forgetting about the fact that you have to go back there in a few hours. You stare at his ring on your finger and smile. Finally, you can see the sky get light. You turn to your love, “Killian I have to go. I’ll find out what Pan wants with Henry, but you have to understand I need to do whatever I have to to get it out of him.” “Aye love I understand, the sooner you find out, the sooner we get home.” “You bring his face to yours and put his hand on your chest once more. "This heart is yours. Property of Killian Jones.” He smiles. “Now, let’s finish this.” you plant a small tender kiss on his lips, and for the first time since you landed on this god forsaken island, neither of you cry as you part ways.

Back at the burrow You see the sun begin to rise as you creep in the door to Peter’s bedroom. You carefully climb back under the covers and put his arm around you. You shove Killian’s ring in your pocket, not wanting Pan to figure anything out. A few moments later Peter wakes up as you pretend to be sleeping. He kisses you on the forehead as he gets out of bed. You turn over towards him. “Out to get some breakfast, be back soon love.” You nod your head and pretend to go back to sleep. As soon as you are sure Peter and the boys are gone, you hop out of bed. Rummaging through the chest, you pull out the only clean clothes that are left, a pair of jeans a black t shirt and one of Peter’s green rain jackets. You throw the clothes on and stuff your feet into your combat boots. Putting your hair in a loose braid, you walk out the door, as you slip Killian’s ring back on your finger. Sneaking outside, you see someone you never thought you’d see again: Baelfire being carried away in a cage into the woods. When they are out of site you run over to Henry’s cage. “Henry! How can I contact your mothers through your mirror?” You urgently ask him. “Mom said if I needed to contact her all I needed to do was turn the mirror three times.” “Give it to me,” you urgently hold your hand out. “No time to explain but I need to talk to Emma!” “Ok,” Henry hesitates, but hands you the mirror. You turn it over quickly three times. After a few moments Regina appears. “(Y/n)? What is it? What’s going on is Henry ok?” “Henry’s fine. I need to talk to Emma!” Emma appears beside Regina. “What is it,” she asks you. “Emma, just as I was coming out of the burrow I saw him being carried away in a cage.” “Who,” Emma’s eyes grow big because she already knows the answer. “Baelfire. Neal, he’s still alive!” Emma stares back at you tears pooling up in her eyes. “Neal’s alive?” She mutters. “Uh-huh,” you shake your head yes. Emma drops the mirror to the ground. Regina quickly scoops it up. “Alright this is great, we can save everyone’s true love. You for Hook, Neal for Emma, and Henry for me because he is my son. Figure out what Pan wants with Henry. Then find a way to communicate it to us. After I hang up you need to smash this mirror, Pan can sense there is magic coming from the camp. Go now!” Regina urges you as the mirror goes black. You throw it on the ground and stomp on it. After you’re done you pick up the pieces and chuck them in a bush. “What was that all about,” Henry looks at you. You ignore his question with a question, “Henry we have to find out what Pan wants to use you for. It’s very important. I need to go find them and spy. Stay here.” “Ok,” Henry nods at you. With that you take off into the forest.

Heart pounding, your feet hit the jungle floor beneath you hard as you sprint in an unknown direction, searching for any signs of the lost boys. Suddenly you hear the snap of a twig and a net scoops you up into a tree, it was a booby trap. A bunch of Indian warriors come out from behind the trees. They’re from one of the local tribes. You remember that they are cannibals. “Peter!” You shriek at the top of your lungs. “PETER! HELP!” It was no use he wasn’t coming. You feel around in your pockets, for anything useful. You smile as you find a knife in your jacket pocket. You feel the warriors begin to lower you down, as you frantically saw at the ropes. Finally they cut loose and you make a giant leap as you grab the vine of a nearest tree. “Oh boy, it’s been a while since you did this,” you mutter to yourself. You swing your legs back and forth trying to gain some momentum. Finally, you swing to the next vine. The process slowly comes easier and you see the warriors begin to fade into the background behind you. As you look behind yourself you mutter, “Haha suckers.” When you turn around you smash straight into Peter coming from the other direction. You both hit the ground with a hard impact. “Ooph. (Y/n), what are you doing here.” Peter looks up at you from where you lay on top of him. You roll off of him. “You began to take too long and I was worried, so I came to look for you when I got trapped in one of those warrior’s nets. I just escaped when we smacked into each other.” “Nice try. I know that there are some things you’re not telling me. I know you went away in the middle of the night. I’m not sure where but I hope it wasn’t to see that dreaded pirate otherwise I might just have to kill him.” You try not to look panicked, you decide to tell him the partial truth to get him to trust you again. “The truth is Peter I went for a walk last night, I was searching for Aquata, I needed someone to talk to. Then this morning I emerged from the burrow and saw Baelfire being carried away in a cage, so I went looking for him. I was worried for him.” Peter looks at you, and you know he believes you. It is half the truth, after all. “You always were overly caring weren’t you,” Peter looks at you. He holds out his hand and picks you up off the ground. “Let’s take a walk shall we,” he asks you. You nod and put your right hand in his left as you slip Killian’s ring off discreetly and shove it in your pocket.

The rescue team

There seems to be an air of fresh hope that surrounds the group. All are happy at the thought of having their loved ones back soon. “I hope we here from (y/n) soon,” David says. “I’d very much like this trip to end.” “Wouldn’t we all,” Regina replies. “So let’s raise a glass then. To (y/n)! She found Neal, she’s protecting Henry, and she’s doing everything she can to help us get out of here!” Emma smiles through her speech. “To (y/n)!” They all cheer as they pass around Hook’s flask of rum. Hook beaming with pride at the thought of his now fiancé being the one to solve this problem.

Back on the beach “Peter, were are we going?” You question him dragging your feet. You’ve been walking for a long time. “You’ll see,” Peter smiles as he looks back at you, dragging you along to the unknown location. 5 minutes later you reach your destination. You look around in awe as you realize where you are. “Remember our place, (y/n)? Do you remember the first time we came here?” You smile at him, the memories come flooding back. “Of course I do,” you reply. “We came here for the first time on our wedding night. We wanted to get away from the lost boys and have a night to ourselves. We were so young,” you smile as you trace the wall of the cave with your fingertips. “Do you remember why we picked this place,” he smiles at you already knowing the answer. “Because the first day I met you I told you I liked to look at the horizon. So you decided on this cave because it looks out over the cliffs onto the horizon.” “That’s right I did. I wanted to bring you here the first time I met you, but I wanted to wait for something special. So I knew I would marry you someday and I vowed to myself to bring you here then, to show my promise to you.” You look down sadly. “This is the first place you loved me,” you recalled. “Do you remember the last time,” he looks up at you. “It was the day I told you I wanted to leave. You kissed me so passionately and tried to get me to stay. But that isn’t what made me leave Peter.” “I know,” he looks up at you with sad eyes. It was all my fault. I should have let you go. I should have never gotten so possessive of you. I’m sorry (y/n). I really am. But I was so caught up in you. So desperately in love with you. I wanted to look at your (e/c) eyes forever. I wanted to stroke your (h/c) hair forever. I never wanted to let you go.“ "I would’ve come back you know,” you interrupt him. “I’m so sorry (y/n), I’m so sorry for everything.” Peter kisses your hand, and you can feel his wet tears on your fingers. The memories of your past fondness for Peter make you happy, but at this moment you realize you can never have that again. Peter hasn’t changed, you tell yourself. “I know,” you mutter, looking away. He looks into your eyes and brushes your hair out of your face. He slowly moves towards your lips and plants his own on yours. Repulsed by his kiss, you start to pull away. But then you remember what you told Killian, that in order for this plan to work you needed to do what you had to- you had to convince Pan that you wanted him. Emotions swirling around in your head, you reluctantly kiss him back. He holds you and strokes the back of your head. Salty tears begin to trace your face. You pull back from him. “Why couldn’t you leave the island? Why couldn’t it have all worked out for us? Why did it have to be so difficult? Why?” You begin to cry into his shoulder, these emotions real. You thought back through your life and how the timing of everything never worked out. And that pissed you off. He kisses your forehead and you realize that he is crying too. “Cheer up, darling. I’ve found a way. Now we can be together forever.” You look up at him in disbelief. “How,” you ask a little too eagerly, hoping that he’ll spill his secret. “You’ll see love, I’ve got it all planned out.” And with that you both move onto the ground and curl up in your old spot. You curl your knees into yourself as you feel Peter wrap a protective arm around your waist. You smile at the thought of getting close to his purpose for Henry, but curse yourself for being so obvious with your eagerness. You dream of yours and Killian’s wedding and your future together as you slowly fall into a deep sleep

Many hours later Your eyes open up to pitch blackness and you momentarily forget where you are. “Peter, pssst Peter!” You whisper in his ear. “What is it love?” He wakes up in a daze. “We’ve been asleep too long,” you whisper. “It’s just after dusk, let’s go back.” He nods as you both begin to stand up. Just then you hear an ear splitting scream come from the direction of camp. Without a word, you both take off into the direction of camp, your face drawn with worry because you think it’s Henry, Peter smiling because he knows it’s Neal.

You both come sprinting into camp, gasping for air. You run over to Henry. “Oh thank god you’re okay! I thought that was you who screamed.” You unlock his cage and pull him into a hug. Meanwhile Peter is being told something by Felix. “Our prisoner has presented too much spirit, I say it’s time to break him,” Felix smirks at Peter. Peter returns the smirk. “Bring him to the caves.” Felix gives a little bow, “As you wish.” And with that he goes off to tell the other lost boys. Peter comes over to you. “Darling, something urgent has presented itself, I trust you won’t go anywhere?” You smile at him and say, “I’ll be anxiously waiting your return,” as you kiss him on the cheek. He smiles and with that he turns and follows the lost boys out of the clearing. You turn to Henry, “Henry I have a plan. It’s a side mission I suppose, but equally important. I’ll explain later, first come with me we don’t have much time.” And with that you drag him by the hand, sprinting towards the lagoon.

You both break through the tree line onto the beach, panting. You run into the water in your clothes and dive in, searching for Aquata. You finally find her and pull her up. “Aquata listen carefully, I need you to swim up river and find the others. Find Killian and them and tell them to come to the lagoon urgently. Please!” You barely finish as you see her flick her tail as she pushes up stream. “What’s that all about?” Henry asks you. “I have a plan,” you reply. “They’ve gone and hidden Neal in the north caves and I believe your family can rescue him. Neal lived on this island for years, not only can he help us, but he’s your father. He’s the love of your mother’s life, we have to get him back.” All while talking you unconsciously twirl Killian’s ring around your finger. Henry looks down at it. “Are you and Killian… are you engaged?” He asks you. You blush a deep red, “We are Henry but please don’t tell anyone. Your mother almost lost Neal, I don’t want to rub it in. And don’t get me started on Regina losing Daniel.” Henry chuckles. “Your secret is safe with me.” And with that the two of you sit on a rock and wait.

The rescue team They all sit in a circle, making small talk, not having anything really to do until you tell them why Pan wants Henry. Hook is filling a canteen in the river when a hand comes up out of the water and grabs him. Aquata surfaces and says, “Hurry get the others!” Hook runs into camp and tells them to come hurry. They all come screeching to a hault at the shore as they see Aquata. “It’s (y/n), she has a plan, she needs you to book it down to the beach right now it’s urgent, it’s about Neal.” That’s all it takes to get Emma and the others sprinting towards the beach, leaving the campsite behind.

Back on the beach You pace back and forth on an imaginary line drawn in the sand. You shiver in the cold, your clothes soaking wet, wet hair clinging to your cheeks. Just then you hear clambering footsteps come tumbling onto the beach. Aquata swims into the lagoon behind them “Henry!” Regina and Emma yell as they smother them in a hug. “Hello love,” Killian comes over to you and plants a swift kiss on your lips. “Alright gather round, there isn’t much time!” They all make a circle around you and Killian because you refuse to let go of his hand. “They’ve taken Neal to the north caves. There won’t be much security there, I know because this is were they take prisoners to to break them. They leave them there in the haunted cave until they beg to be let out, at which point the prisoner will agree to help them. It’s a strange tactic. So I’m going to take Killian’s mermaid whistle. You all will stay here. Aquata how far away can you here this whistle?” “About three miles,” she answers. “Perfect. When I blow the whistle that means Pan and his troops are back from the caves. Aquata will then tell you she heard the whistle and that is your cue to go get Neal. Now Neal lived on this island for a long time, not only will he be a huge help, but I think it’s about time he came back for Emma and Henry.” Emma gives you a sympathetic smile. “Thank you,” she says. You nod. “So stay here. Now there’s one thing you outta know about the north caves-” “It’s covered,” Hook interrupts you, “I’ll tell them later no time to waste.” You smile at him gratefully. “Before you go, any word on what Pan wants with Henry?” Regina asks stroking Henry’s hair. “I was close to getting the answer, but Pan sensed I was too eager. All I know is that Henry has something to offer that can allow Pan to leave the island for extended periods of time.” Regina looks puzzled. “I’ll have to think about that,” she says. “Alright there’s no time to waste so say goodbye to me and Henry ‘cause we gotta get back to camp.” Emma and Regina walk Henry a little ways from the group to say goodbye. Killian looks down at you. “I’m so proud of you, (y/n). You’re doing great. We’ll be back to Storybrooke before you know it,” he grins at you. You put both of your hands on his cheeks and kiss him through your smile. “I love you Killian Jones.” “And I love you-” Hook is interrupted by a gasp that comes from Mary Margaret. “Oh my god, (y/n)! Is that an engagement ring?” Just then Emma and Regina walk over. They all look at you. Your face goes pink. “We didn’t want to say anything because of everything that’s happened,” you say as you eye Emma’s reaction. “Don’t worry about me, I’m gonna get Neal back, and then we can all be happy together!” You turn to look at Regina. Her response surprises you, “I’ll be happy as long as I have my son back,” she smiles. You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in. “Well that’s a relief!” You grin. They all suddenly come in and hug you and Killian. You look up at your future husband and smile. “Alright now we really have to go! Come on Henry!” You grab Henry’s hand and head towards the trees. You turn around and wave, “See you soon,” you yell. “(Y/n) wait!” Killian yells in your direction. He runs over to you. “I love you!” He tells you as he kisses you while pressing the mermaid whistle into your hand. He pulls back and grins, “Now go!” You turn around and you and Henry run into the night.

You pull into camp out of breath. “They aren’t back yet, good,” Henry mutters. “They won’t be back for another hour or so. The north caves is a long way,” you tell him. You both plant yourself on a log by the fire, you desperately needed to dry off. “Thanks for helping save my dad,” Henry tells you. “Of course Henry! You deserve to have all the family you can get!” He smiles at you and hugs you tight. “You’ve made being held captive a whole lot easier.” You giggle at his statement. “I’m glad,” you said. And the two of you sit there and stare at the fire until Pan returns.

Suddenly, you see the shadows of Pan and the lost boys appear in the clearing. “Ah right were I left you,” Pan comes over to you and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Everything alright?” You ask him as you look up at him, innocently. “Oh everything’s fine,” he replies. “Now, shall we go to bed?” He asks you. “Sounds lovely, I’ll just get the bucket of sand to put out the fire.” “No darling, let me,” Pan didn’t want you out of his sight, so of course he offers to go do it. The moment he turns around to pick up the bucket you pull the whistle from your pocket and blow on it hard. Then you shove it back in your pocket as he turns around. “Shall we,” he offers you his arm. You walk hand in hand into the burrow, Henry dragging behind you.

Back at the beach Aquata jumps to the surface and shouts, “It’s time! Go!” And with that Hook leads the way, up into the trees to the northern caves.

3 grueling hours later they arrive at the entrance. Hook turns to the group, “Alright now here’s how it works, in order to create a path to Neal, we each must reveal one of our deepest secrets, until the path reaches far enough. Don’t hold back, alright? Now let’s go!” They enter the cave, the temperature dropping about 20 degrees. “I’ll start,” Hook says. “I never thought I would find love again after Mila. And the truth is, when I found (y/n), I wasn’t convinced she was my true love. I thought about leaving her. I thought I wasn’t good enough for her, too broken. But one day, she revealed to me how broken she was and I realized that we fit together. From then on I vowed to never leave her, but the secret is that I thought about it, it entered my mind.” Hook finished and the rock stretches out towards Neal. “I’ll go!” Mary Margaret steps forward. “The truth is David, something I’ve been keeping inside for a while, is that, I want another baby.” She steps back and the path grows a little more. David looks at her with sad eyes. “Mary Margaret on the night of the ambush, I was grazed with an arrow traced with night shade poison. Thanks to Hook i won’t die, but the magic of Neverland is what saved me. Mary Margaret my secret is that I can never leave this island if I want to live.” She looks at him in disbelief, heartbroken. “Wow.” Regina says. “I’ll go next. When we came to this island I was not over using my dark powers. My secret is that when I discovered Greg and Tamara, I was so angry with them about taking Henry, that I killed them.” She steps back as the path nearly reaches Neal. Neal looks up, hope in his eyes. Emma steps forward. “Neal I’m still hurt that you left me at the train station that day, to take the fall for you. No explanation, no nothing. I was hurt that you left me, because I thought you loved me.” He looks at her sorrowfully. “But the secret that I’ve been too scared to admit to myself, is that I never stopped loving you Neal. Never,” she wipes a tear from her eye. With that the path is complete. Emma runs across and slices open the cage she finds him in. “Emma,” he says. “Emma I’m so sorry. I love you.” “I love you too Neal.” Emma cries as she kisses him. Heads bent together Neal mutters, “Now let’s go get our son.” They exit the caves, Mary Margaret and David on separate ends of the trail, Emma and Neal holding hands, and Regina and Hook discussing possible reasons as to why Pan needs Henry.

Back at the burrow You wake up and fear strikes through you. Peter is not beside you. You jump out of bed and rush out the door. “Peter!” You call out. Next thing you notice Henry is gone. “Henry!” You shout. Panic fills your body. You begin to walk towards the cliffs to go look for them when Peter appears behind you. “Are you ok?” “Oh Peter!” You turn around ready to put on the act. You rush into his arms. “I was so worried when I woke up and you weren’t beside me!” “Don’t worry darling, I was just….. training Henry. We’re back now.” He kisses the top of your head. “I’m gonna go wash up, be out in a minute Darling.” As soon as Pan is out of sight you rush over to Henry. “Henry! Are you ok? What did he want?” “I’m fine,” Henry replies. “He wanted to test me. He took me to the top of dead man’s peak. He gave me the fairy dust around his neck that he said had long since not worked and told me to believe. I did what he said and pretty soon we were flying over Neverland. I don’t know why it was so important, all he said was that it proved to him that I had the heart of the truest believer.” Your puzzled. “Well whatever it’s about it doesn’t sound good,” you state. “This means I’m gonna have to push him farther so that he’ll tell me.” You and Henry sit down and begin to think up strategies.

The rescue team “So, Baelfire, what do you think Pan wants with the boy,” Hook asks Neal. “I’m not sure. But I do know one thing, he’s weak. I overheard the lost boys saying that they were tired of all of this physical labor because Pan can’t fly anymore. If Pan can’t fly then that means he’s losing some of his magic.” “But why would he need Henry for that,” Emma ponders. “No idea,” Neal replies.

In Peter’s bedroom You have your plan. If Peter needs Henry to leave the island, than you are going to have to seduce Peter and ask him to come away with you. When he tells you he can’t you’ll ask why and hopefully get it out of him. You flip through your trunk trying to find the best thing to wear. Finally you gaze upon a short strapless suede deer skin dress of Tiger Lilly’s that she died a dark pinkish red from raspberries. A little shredded at the bottom but Perfect, you think. You quickly slip it on and take down your hair. You fluff your hair around you and try to get it as straight as possible. Finally, you look in the mirror and note that something’s missing. You step outside and grab some berries. You pinch them in your hands and rub the stain to your lips. You walk back into the burrow and glance in a mirror. The dress hugs your curves. Perfect, you think. Before you leave you shove your locket and Killian’s ring in your pocket for safe keeping. You step outside, just as Peter enters the clearing. He stares at you. “Wow. You look amazing (y/n). Shall we go for a walk?” He asks you. “Sounds lovely,” you reply. Moments later you and Peter sit in your spot on the beach. You think to yourself about how you should approach the situation. You decide to still seem hesitant. “Peter I’m scared. I think I’m starting to fall for you again, but I want to be free. I don’t want to get hurt. How can you promise me you’ll never turn into a control freak again?” “With this,” he replies as he pulls out the wedding ring he made you all those years ago. You gasp. “(Y/n) I promise to never keep you captive again. I believe our love can set us free.” He smiles at you. You hold out your finger and he slips it on. “Let’s run away!” You suddenly say. “Right now. Before I change my mind. You said Henry can give you the power to leave the island. So let’s do it. Let’s fly away,” you turn to look at his reaction. “(Y/n) it’s not that easy. I need his heart to be able to travel. He has the heart of the truest believer. Without it, I cannot fly.” He finishes looking at you. You look at him in horror. “Peter you can’t kill Henry! Just give him back to Emma and Regina and you won’t need his heart.” “Oh really and why’s that?” He asks you. “Because I’ll stay here with you. I promise.” He looks at you shocked. “You would do that for me?” He searches your eyes. “Of course I would.” You reply as you lean in and press your lips to his.

Back at camp “Darling, I’ve just got to go and check on something, I’ll be back in a few hours,” Peter says as he kisses your cheek. “Ok, I’ll be here,” you reply. As soon as Peter is out of sight, Henry runs over to you. “(Y/n)! They know! They know Neal has escaped. We have to warn the others!” Without another word, you and Henry sprint down to the beach.

You come full sprint into the sand. Luckily, you happen to find everyone sitting in the trees just offshore, perfectly concealed. “Emma! Regina!” You scream. “What, what is it?” Emma looks at you. Your eyes fill with panic. “They know. They know Neal has escaped. You have to get out of sight. You’re too close to camp right now.” “Why do I feel like this whole thing is going to explode in our faces,” Regina questions. “Because it might,” you add. “Peter says he needs Henry’s heart to be able to leave the island. So I told him I would stay here with him forever so that he doesn’t need Henry. But he still won’t let him go. I get the sense he’s not telling me everything,” you look around at the group, as dread fills their features. “Well that’s not gonna happen!” Regina growls. “All we need to do now is have all of you stay out of sight and out of the way. As soon as I find the right time, I will bring Henry and we’ll leave this place. All I have to do is find a way to keep Pan contained while we leave.” “Well do it fast,” Regina tells you. “I think it’s about damn time we went home.” Emma and Regina pull Henry aside to ask him how Pan is testing him. Killian comes over to you. “(Y/n), you look…….” “I know,” you reply, blushing, the red dress was certainly having the desired affects on both Pan and Hook. Killian grabs your hands and rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He looks down at your hands and says, “That’s not my ring.” “I know,” you reply. “It’s Peter’s that he gave to me. Just trying to get him to trust me.” Killian looks at you. “Don’t forget who owns your heart, love. You’re beginning to look like a wild, beautiful, native girl. I don’t want you staying here.” “Don’t worry, just a few more days and then I’m all yours,” you bring his head to yours and gently kiss him. Henry appears behind you. “Ready?” He asks. “Yep,” you turn to Hook and you squeeze his hand. “As soon as I have an idea when it will happen, I’ll send word with Aquata to go look for you in the mountains.” “Until then,” hook says and they all nod at you. You turn towards Henry and grab his hand as you drag him into the jungle back towards camp.

3 days later You plant yourself on a log, frustrated. 3 days have past and Pan is still taking Henry on his little expeditions and you can’t figure out why. You sigh as you pick yourself up and walk back into the burrow. As you enter Peter’s bedroom you see him collapsed on the bed, gray and ashen. “Peter what’s wrong?” You run to his side. He ignores you as he places his hands over his body and begins to heal himself. He picks himself up off the bed. “Peter answer me! I told you I would stay here and I meant it, but you can’t keep secrets from me. Why do you still have Henry?” Peter pats the bed beside him and the two of you sit down. He puts his hand on your shoulder just as he says, “(y/n), I haven’t been entirely honest with you. You see yes it’s technically true that I need Henry’s heart to leave the island, but I need it because I’m dying. I know you won’t accept killing Henry and that’s why I’m sorry it has to be like this right now but you’ll come to see it my way.” He begins to leave. “Peter I won’t let you do this!” He looks at you with sad eyes and says, “I’m sorry but you really don’t have a choice.” And with a wave of his hand you’re slammed against the bed and your hands are tied to the headboard and feet bounded. “Peter NO!” You scream out the door at him as he runs off, no doubt to get Henry’s heart. 45 minutes later “Damnit, damnit, damnit!” You yell at yourself as you repeatedly slam your hands against the wall. You have no idea how to get out of it. You’ll try anything at this point. “I hope this works,” you mutter to yourself. In one swift motion you flip yourself backwards between your arms and the headboard and just as you feel your arms break loose, you feel your shoulder blade pop out of the socket. “No pain no gain,” you whisper as you hold back tears and pop it back in place. You quickly hop over to the nightstand and find a dagger and cut your feet loose. You then scramble around to try and find items you may need.

5 minutes later you come out of the burrow, dagger in the sash of the red dress you still wore. You tie your hair up behind you. “This is war,” you say as you pat the locket in your pocket. You have a plan.

As you appear on the beach, you look overhead and see Henry and Pan rowing towards skull island. “What’s he want with skull island,” you ask yourself. “It’s were the heart of Neverland is,” answers Neal. You turn around and see the whole group behind you. They had just come from the jungle. “Then it all makes sense. Pan’s dying, he’s taking Henry to skull island because that’s the only place he can accept the heart of the truest believer.” “Well how do we get over there without Pan knowing?” Regina asks. “Don’t worry I have a plan,” you reply. You tell them about the locket and that you can bring them over there undetected with a tail. “We should get the other mermaids to help, the more time we spend traveling, the closer Pan gets to killing Henry.” “You’re right,” you reply to Regina. You splash your hand in the water to summon Aquata. Nothing happens. You do it again. “Why won’t she come,” Regina asks. “I don’t know. But I’ll find out,” you say as you wade into the water. Once you’re chest deep you take out the locket and put it on. Right before their eyes your legs are transformed into a giant green tail. You submerge yourself to go look for Aquata. Your eyes search the water and you realize they must be in the caves. You go to enter, but the caves are barred. They can’t get out. You shoot to the surface. “He’s got them barricaded in!” “Well then take Hook and get over there! We’re right behind you!” Snow shouts. You wave Killian over. “Put your arms around my neck and let’s go!” Killian wraps himself around you and you shoot off towards the island.

As you hit the sand, Killian stand up. You whip the locket off and your legs return. “You make quite the mermaid, love,” Hook grins at you. You smile back, “No time for your mushy compliments,” you say as you grab his hand and enter the cave. You are just about to round up the stairs when you’re both thrown back. “Damn, a protection spell,” Hook mutters. “We’ve got this,” Regina says from behind you. “How’d you get here so fast,” you ask her. “I have my ways,” she smirks. “Actually we found a row boat two seconds after you left,” David chimes in. You laugh. Emma and Regina use there powers together to remove the protection spell in a bright flash of white light. Once it’s removed you sprint up the stairs. As you round the top of the steps you see Peter and Henry standing facing a giant hourglass. You pause for a second, mesmerized by it. “Let go of Henry, Pan!” Regina and Emma shout behind you. “Ahh just in time to see the main event,” Pan says as he turns around. “But the question is, how on earth did you find me? I doubt it was luck, no I think it was the very person who’s trust I valued most that lead you to me.” He removes his sarcastic glare and gets serious. “(Y/n), why did you betray me?” “You lied to me Peter! You lied, even after you said you would never lie again! How can you expect me to trust you after that?” You look at him in disbelief. “You said you would stay with me and support me no matter what,” Peter says as he looks at you with sad eyes. Enough games, you think. This ends now. “I lied Peter. I lied just like you lied to me. But mine was for a noble cause. I lied to save my friends. I lied to save my future family.” Peter looks at you confused. “Peter I loved you. But you broke my heart, multiple times. I realized one day that I deserved better than that. And I found a man who would treat my heart with care.” You smile over at Killian. “I’m not yours Peter. I haven’t been yours since the day I left Neverland, all those years ago,” you say as your heart picks up courage. “And I will never be with you again.” You pull Peter’s ring off your finger, and chuck it out of the cave, into the ocean. You fish in your pocket and pull out Killian’s ring. “I am not going to be your captive, I’m going to be with someone who frees me.” You finish with the largest smile on your face. Suddenly Peter is furious. “NOW ENOUGH! If I can’t have you willingly, then I’ll just have to hold you captive again.” He smiles. “But first things first time to save myself.” Right then he plunges his hand into Henry’s chest. Henry makes a gargling noise. As Pan pulls out his own heart and begins the switch, time freezes. Everyone is stopped in their tracks, including Pan. Who should stroll into view but none other than Mr Gold. Your eyes grow wide in fear. You completely forgot that he came over with all of you on the Jolly Roger. You are shocked when you watch as Gold grabs the hearts, and switches them back to normal. “I’ll put that where it belongs, to my grandson,” he says. “And now papa, it’s time for you to go where you will never escape,” Gold grits through his teeth. Gold pulls a box from his coat pocket. He traces a circle in the air above it with his dagger and sets it on the ground. As the box begins to open, Pan is slowly sucked into it. As soon as he vanishes, everyone springs back into motion. “What was that?” Emma asks. “Pandora’s box,” Mr Gold replies. “Now Pan will never be able to escape.” You breath out the air you didn’t know you were holding in. Killian comes over to you and rubs your back. Emma and Regina each grab one of Henry’s hands and say, “let’s go home.” You watch with a smile as you see everyone file out of the cave. Not only did you save Henry, but you saved Neal as well. Just then you remember something. “David! What’s going to happen to you?” “Don’t worry,” Mr Gold replies for him. “I’ve collected some of the water from the falls that saved you and once back in Storybrooke I will concoct a potion for a permanent cure.” No one says anything but rather looks at him in disbelief of his kindness. You all board the Jolly Roger and you stand at the helm of the ship. Looking out over your triumph. “Are you ok, love?” Killian asks you. “Couldn’t be better,” you reply to him with a smile. He takes off his big leather jacket and wraps it around you, as you are still soaked from your underwater adventures. You smile to yourself because it smells like him, leather and rum. “You know the next greatest adventure is about to begin,” you smile at him. “Oh yeah and what’s that?” He asks you. “Our marriage,” you reply as you wrap your arms around him. You pull him close to you and run your fingers through his hair. You plant a long soft kiss on his lips. He wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles your neck. You both stare out over the vast blue as you sail back to Storybrooke.

4 days later

“Ahhh just the person I was looking for,” Killian says behind you as he kisses your cheek. You stand in your kitchen in your tiny sexy pajama set of shorts and a tank. “And what could you possibly want with me,” you giggle in return. “Oh so many things,” Hook whispers in your ear, sending chills down your spine. He grabs your hips and flips you around. “My (y/n). I cannot believe I get to spend the rest of my life with you,” he tells you as he brushes your hair behind your ears. He instantly pulls your lips on his and you passionately kiss him making up for all the times when you couldn’t in Neverland. He trails kisses from you lips to your shoulder blades and grabs your hand, about to drag you upstairs. Just then, Regina, Emma, Snow, and David come bursting through your door. “Pandora’s box is gone!” Regina informs you. “Bloody hell will we never get a moment to ourselves,” Hook mutters as he drops your hand. After you change, you both grab your coats and head outside.

As you all walk down main street you see a figure turn the corner headed towards you. It is now that Peter reveals himself. “How is this possible?” You ask him. “I knew you would find me, so as a precaution I had a body switching spell handy. So you see I came back as Henry and Henry was trapped as me in Pandora’s box. Until just now when I released him, I had no leverage. But now,” he grins wickedly as he shows Henry trapped in an enchanted mirror. “Now, if you’ll just hand over (y/n) and I’ll be on my way.” He grins at you. “Enough papa! This is not about her. This is between you and me and you wanting to stay young forever just like you did when you abandoned me all those years ago,” Gold spits these words towards him. “As it happens I had a certain hunch you might escape. So I did some research. And the only way to kill you is through me, the dark one. So let’s finish this.” With a wave of his hand, Gold freezes everyone watching. Included his beloved Belle and Baelfire. He goes up to them. “Belle, you loved me for me. You could see the man inside the beast and now I’m going to be a hero and die an honorable man.” He turns to Neal. “Bae, I’m so sorry son. I’m sorry for everything and I’m most sorry for the fact that we were barely united and now one of us is going to leave again. I love you son.” And with that, Gold turns to Pan. “And now papa, you are going to die the old coward that you are.” He pulls Pan in for what looks like a hug, but plunges the dark one dagger through Pan’s back. He twists the dagger in more to both of them and Pan groans. Right before your very eyes, Pan transforms into the old man he was when he abandoned Gold. And with a flash, they’re both gone, including the dagger. Everyone unfreezes, but you feel as if time still stands still as you watch Belle and Neal fall to the ground and mourn their Rumple’s death. Killian pulls you close and you stand cheek to cheek. “I’m so grateful to have you,” you whisper in his ear. After picking them up off the ground, you and Killian turn and walk hand in hand back to your house on the beach.

1 week later You smile in the mirror, breathing shallow quick breaths, as you semi panic. You can’t believe this is happening, and so fast! “(Y/n) you look so beautiful,” Emma walks in behind you. “Thank you,” you turn around and grab her hands. “I’m so nervous,” you tell her. “(Y/n), Killian loves you so so much, and after all you’ve been through, you have nothing to be nervous about except the chance that Killian might have a heart attack because of how gorgeous you look.” You laugh. “And we’re all here for your special day,” she adds. “I’m your maid of honor and David is going to walk you down the aisle. You may not be related to any of us, but you’re here to stay and you’re becoming a part of our family today.” You smile gratefully at her, tears welling up in your eyes. Snow and Regina walk in. “Oh my goodness are you a vision,” Snow walks up to you. You shrug off her comment “No, turn and look at yourself. Look at how grown up you are.” You listen to Snow’s words and turn around to look in the mirror. You gasp. You stand in the mirror in a beautiful wedding gown. With a white strapless satin bodice and a scalloped neck line, you dress melts into off the shoulder sleeves and flows into a sleek mermaid skirt that trails behind you. Your hair is curled and delicately pinned into a side bun. You wear a head band made of diamonds, almost resembling a crown. You wear white sparkly toms on your feet because you despise high heels. You decided to not wear a veil as you want nothing between you and Killian. The ensemble is finished off with magnificent pearl earrings and nothing else, you like to keep it simple. “Are you ready princess,” David asks as he enters the room and looks at you with the eyes of a proud parent. You nod, as tears threaten to spill over your eye lids. Time seems to stand still as you here the music softly begin outside. One by one each of the girls exits the house into their spots in the procession. David offers his arm and you take it as you step outside into the bright sunshine. You slowly begin your way down the boardwalk on the beach. You and Killian both wanted it to be here because it is the first place you met. As you glance up your heart stops when you see how handsome your Killian looks. Not an inch of leather, but he rather looks like a prince, almost like David. You are even more surprised to see him standing there, unashamed as tears fall down his cheeks while he drinks you in with his eyes. All of the sudden you are at the end of the board walk and David kisses you on the cheek as he places your hands in Killian’s. Then Archie rambles through his speech and gets to the vows. You begin, “Killian…” you falter, trying not to cry. “When I came to Storybrooke I was just trying to get by. And after the curse broke everyone was reunited and I still had no one. But then you came along. And I look at my life now and now I’ve been welcomed into this family. And Killian…… I never thought that true love existed but now I know that that is what we have. I love you and I promise to love you till my dying breath. I promise to be devoted to you for the rest of my days because this heart Killian, it belongs to you.” You finish as you look up at him. He has to regain his composure. “(Y/n). You are everything. You are my queen and my sun. Everything I was in the past, is gone. You taught me to love again. And I promise to love you for the rest of my days. You made me the man I am today and I owe everything to you. Today is the happiest day of my life. And I can’t wait for the rest of our lives.” Archie finishes the ceremony, you exchange rings, and he finally says, “You may now kiss the bride.” You beam at Killian as you practically jump into his arms and kiss him.

The reception at granny’s “Now introducing Mr. and Mrs. Killian jones!” Henry shouts. You both walk in the door hand in hand. “Now, love I have chosen a special song for our first dance. I fancy myself quite the dancer, after all. Shall we,” Killian offers you his hand. Overhead island girl begins to play by Elton john. You laugh out loud. “You are my island girl, (y/n), and I rescued you from that island, but you’re still just as wild.” He spins you around on the dance floor with a salsa like dance. You giggle the entire time, you can’t imagine your life being any better than it is right now. So you and Killian dance and dance and you smash cake in each other’s face and talk to everyone. While you’re talking to Mary Margaret he comes up behind and whispers in your ear, “Meet me out back in ten minutes.” A shiver runs down your spine from his breath in your ear.

Outside You snuck out the back door and walk over to your husband. “What’s this all about?” You ask him. “Come on love, you’ll see,” he replies. You grab his hand and you both walk down Main Street towards the beach. On the beach you kick off your shoes and let the waves run over your feet. “(Y/n), do you remember when we first met here? Remember you were sitting on that log there and I came over to you and I said ” I know that look. You’re concentrating on the horizon and when I do that, I’m usually trying to put things in perspective.“ And do you remember what you said?” You smile at him, “I said you don’t even know me so how do you have any idea why I’m looking at the horizon? And since when does Captain Hook care about others?” “Ahhh yes you did have some sass then,” Killian continues, “And so we sat there and argued about pretty much everything under the sun.” “Do you remember when we saw each other next?” You ask him. He smiles at you, “Of course I do. It was at granny’s and you were talking with Emma and she asked you why some pirate was staring at you.” “Yes and then of course I looked at you and that was the first time I got lost in your deep blue eyes,” you tell him. Killian blushes. “So many memories,” he continues, “So much pain and hardship for little moments of joy, but it’s worth it because those moments mean I’m still with you.” “So what now?” You ask him. “I feel like there’s going to be another problem at our feet tomorrow.” “Then let’s live today,” he points to the sunset, “See that horizon, that’s our future, our beautiful future to come.” You take 5 steps into the water breathing in the familiar salty air, the bottom of your dress now soaked. Killian comes in behind you and you both stand nearly knee deep in the water, in your wedding attire. He wraps you in his arms. “So love are you ready for the next adventure?” He asks you. “What’s the next adventure?” You ask back. “Our marriage, our family, our life, our journey together,” he states it as a fact. You smile at him and wrap your arms around his neck as you plant a kiss full of passion and love on his lips. “I’m ready,” you tell him. Suddenly Killian scoops you up and carries you home.

[themediareviewer]

Pan (2015)

Directed by Joe Wright. Family/fantasy movie.

Okay, so this is the type of movie that I feel I will come to disagree with my own opinion in a few years. I’ll explain why. I think I speak for all of us when I say that nowadays it’s quite hard to watch a movie without having ANY preconceived ideas of it. Either we’ve watched the trailer (one of those here-is-the-whole-plot-of-the-movie-except-for-maybe-the-last-two-minutes kind of trailers), or perhaps one of our friends has watched it and talked about it heatedly, or  maybe we’ve gotten 5,839,286 GIFs of the movie on our feed and already know most of the whole plot. 

My point is that, by the point when we sit down to watch a movie, many times, we have already formed an opinion about it. Sometimes, the movie has been so hyped up by our friends that when we watch it, our expectations are not met and we end up not like the movie, period. Or, on the contrary, the media has been so harsh with the movie, that when it’s anything more than a catastrophe, you actually end up enjoying it. 

When I walked into Pan, I did NOT have a good image of the movie. I had read somewhere (and this is a bit of information that I have NOT managed to confirm since then), that although the story of Peter Pan has become public domain, people who use the story still pay the copyrights to the owner. Why, you ask? Because the actual “owner” of the story, writer J.M. Barrie transferred the copyright to the Great Ormond Street Hospital , which is a children’s hospital in London. In fact, in the strongly-worded article I had read at the time, the article’s writer had specified how important that source of income was for the hospital, and how it helped a lot of children (a good writer always appeals to the heart of its readers, right?). Now, it was said (and this is the part I have failed to confirm, please let me know if you find an article about it) that this iteration of Peter Pan chose NOT to pay the copyrights. I mean, no one is actually obliged to do it… but it does seem like the right thing to do, particularly when you think of today’s movie stars’ salaries (which can go up to millions of dollars), donating part of the revenue of your million-dollar movie to a hospital of children, doesn’t seem like such a hard thing to do.

In other words, this movie was already not looking good to me as a person (I am the type of person who can’t fully separate the artist from the art, and although I won’t go on about it here, I will say that I preferred not to buy this movie, and only watched it when it came to Netflix). In addition to that whole internal debate about watching the movie or not, I also found a lot of reviews about this movie when I was trying to confirm the information in the paragraph above. And they were all extremely negative, with scores going from 0 stars out of 5, to 23%, to “YOU SHOULD JUST NOT WATCH THIS” kind of reviews. 

So, when I sat down to watch this movie and I first met the main character, I was astounded to realize that I quite liked him. Played by Levi Miller, he was easily one of the best parts of the movie. But even more surprisingly, I was FLOORED when I noticed I was actually enjoying myself! I almost felt ashamed by that point. “How can you like a movie that might be STEALING money from sick CHILDREN????” my heart would scream. But then my eyes and my ears and my love for art started to speak louder and I realized that some aspects of this movie were truly worth talking about.

I’ll start by the easy one: the soundtrack by John Powell. If the first thought in your head after reading those words is, “Who the hell is John Powell?”, don’t worry, that’s normal. I do have a very soft spot for soundtracks and one of my favourite of all times is from How to Train Your Dragon (2010) by (you guessed it!) John Powell. The way he layers different instruments together is breathtaking and clearly resembles the rush of feelings you might get when you’re flying — a theme that is very relevant to both movies might I add. I listened to this soundtrack after having watched the movie, and even individually, these songs are wonderfully crafted. The first few chords of the “Opening Overture” pulled at my heartstrings, and “Kidnapped/Galleon Dog Fight” had me excited for everything this movie promised. Even the song, “Smells like Teen Spirit” (or how I call it, “Hello, Hello, How Low”) is so wonderfully dark, I had chills at the power of hundreds of voices singing it together; and then Hugh Jackman’s evil voice joins in and the all is deliciously creepy. Unfortunately, it was intercut with unnecessary jokes and the movie’s tone doesn’t live up to the song. Nevertheless, if anything positive should be coming out of the movie, the soundtrack is definitely the one.

Now, if you’ll allow me a second positive element to take out of this movie, I’d say that the circus elements were visually stunning. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that all of the art directing was brilliant, because the indigenous section of the movie was very weak on that front. (In almost all fronts really, but I’ll get to that later.) However, the circus-themed aspects of the movie were pretty enticing -- and had this style been consistent throughout the movie, it could have been one of my favourite art directing in a while. However, it wasn’t. We only had a few glimpses of it, such as when we first see the pirates of Neverland: in an otherwise dark room, one yellow spotlight lit up, a pirate dropped from the ceiling, with an elastic clearly wrapped around his waist, snatched something up, and slipped back up out of view. The snappy timing of the situation, the comically elaborate costumes and the whole theatricality of the sequence made it all very surreal and visually intriguing. Again, I wish this circus theme had stayed throughout the movie, because the rest of it simply did not live up to it.

This leads me to the next point which is where I will shift into negative gear. Now, from the beginning of this review, you probably thought I was going to say this movie was genius, but fear not; those reviews online had good reason to criticize this movie. And my reason for joining them is because the aspects that this movie gets wrong, it gets really wrong. 

The first aspect that bothered me was the inconsistency in tone. The beginning of this movie is quite delightful in my opinion -- a sort of “Home Alone” vibe, as my friend called it. Adults are quite simply caricatures of adults, and the children are the real heroes of the story. That in itself was a tiny movie that begins with (**tiny spoiler**) Peter at the orphanage and ends with him and Nibs finding something they were not looking for (**end of spoiler**). Then, the second movie begins: an action movie where Peter is forced into a dark, adult world where death, slavery and capitalism are ever present; this, by far is the strongest part of the movie in my opinion. The conversation between Peter and Blackbeard in the Captain’s Cabin is one of the most chilling sequences I have ever seen. Their age difference is so obvious displayed, thanks to the difference in the complexity of their dialogue and interests. I was very positively impressed by the scene’s depth, and particularly by Hugh Jackman’s acting. 

From then on, the movie goes downhill. It becomes your usual very-bad-adaptation of a story, with corny costumes, weird character development and quite frankly, racism left to right. I’m not one to hammer on socially inadequate problems, because I’m afraid of joining in today’s abuse of the term “politically correct”.  However, this movie really did some very poor decisions on that front. I mean, the most violent character is the only prominent dark-skinned character; the only traitor is the Indian-looking character; the only character that can barely speak English is Asian; and the only strong indigenous character is played by a white actress. I mean. It’s hard to defend casting decisions like that.

Apart from that, although the special effects were pretty good, the integration between them and the characters was a bit… jarring. By that, I mean that sometimes we would see an extreme long shot (shot from very far) of a CGI battle taking place, then suddenly cut to a close-up of the character’s reaction to the battle... and not for one second did I believe that those two shots were taking place at the same at the same time and space. My movie-geek mind could just see the actors standing in front of a green screen and some director yelling at them “PRETEND TO REACT TO THIS!! REMEMBER THIS IS ALL VEEEERY SCARY!!” The soundtrack and quality of the actors themselves almost fixed this feeling, but I couldn’t quite shake it off. This CG oddness got considerably more relevant whenever flying characters were involved; it was very difficult for me to believe that they were part of the same world as the non-flying characters, which took me away from the story in numerous occasions.

Finally, one of my biggest problems was the character of Hook. I won’t say much about him in respect for those who want to watch the movie spoiler free, but let’s just say that as an origin story, it felt quite thrown together and poorly developed. His motivations were nebulous to say to least and it’s difficult to see how he and the Captain Hook we know turn out to be the same person. And if they truly do, then I would love to see that happening, because what I saw so far did not sell me on that story point. 

Not only that, but it felt like a wasted opportunity to make something incredible. Imagine if (** Spoilers ahead till the end of this paragraph**) after Peter gets taken to Neverland, Peter’s best friend, Nibs actually grows up and becomes bitter. And suppose, that when Peter does come back for him, Nibs has become a self-reliant old man, whose life was so sad and lonely, that his only drive to live was to hate that “blasted Peter Pan” who left him rotting in that orphanage. Now suppose that at some point in the movie, you find out that Nibs’ last name is actually Hook. I mean, wouldn’t you have lost your mind a tiny little bit? Wouldn’t it have been superb if Peter turned out to be the originator of his own nemesis? Wouldn’t it be tragic if, child-minded Peter doesn’t see the bitterness in Nibs-turned-Hook, and continues to play hero-versus-villain with his best friend for the rest of his days? Meanwhile, Nibs-Hook is actually trying to get to Peter, but can’t quite bring himself to kill him because they were best friends once? (**End of Spoiler**) Now that would have been true to the creepy, deep tone that the movie had established in the beginning, and could have actually done justice to the great character of Captain Hook.

In fact, as ridiculous as this might sound, I believe that the lack of time was part of this movie’s problem. “Wait, you’re saying you wanted more of this??” I hear you rage. Well, sort of, yes. I think this movie had a lot of rich material they could have explored, particularly in the dark aspects, like the slavery and war. The contrast between innocent children and truly infamous world is a hard sell, but a very possible one, if Stranger Things (2016) has taught me anything. 

The indigenous people also felt thrown into the story for me, and even seemed unnecessary the way they were presented. Their fighting style didn’t seem particularly unique (or effective), their costumes were not particularly rich, and their intentions seemed to come from a glorified past we didn’t get to see. I feel like they had to be there because they were in the original story, but their necessity in this movie was questionable. 

Now, if the movie had had more time, say, (**Spoilers ahead**) if the first movie had focused simply on Blackbeard’s exploitation of pixum and Peter’s escape from the compound, then the second one could have been about Peter discovering Neverland and its inhabitants (the tribe, the fairies, the mermaids), and the third movie could be the climax where Peter rises up against Blackbeard and the Pirates (**end of spoilers**). 

Again, I know this would all never happen, because producers don’t like investing in something they’re not sure will sell. They would hardly invest in three Peter Pan origin movies, particularly if the first one did as badly as Pan did. But as usual, I am speaking from a story standpoint. And although I understand that people claim that the world has simply “moved on” from the notion of Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, I think that if we had had the time to explore a new, original Neverland, we could have been sold into loving Peter again. This movie could have reawaken the joys of being a child into many viewers’ hearts. But instead, it settled for being a rushed movie, with clashing themes, and brilliant aspects just begging to be explored. Now, it’s true that, as I said in the beginning, my expectations for this movie might have been so low, I ended up finding too many redeeming points about it, and maybe one day I’ll come to disagree with myself about all this. But for now, I honestly feel that this is one of the only bad movies I wish they had done more of.