#i am simultaneously a james and reg kinnie okay so i know what im talking about

[jadescornerofinternetinsanity]

a very passionate ramble about Regulus Black bc i have The Brainrot

TW: fictional suicide

one of the many things the just *gets* me when i think about the intersection between canon reg and like fanon reg is, if we look at things from a canon-compliant perspective, reg went into that cave knowing he would die. At the very least knowing he might. When people talk about regulus they say oh "he redeemed himself at the end" and "he made the right choice" but. no he didn't. the right choice in that situation looks like betraying voldemort, yes. But that doesn't mean a suicide mission. And for anyone other than regulus it wouldn't have. He could have gone to his brother, to James, god forbid to DUMBLEDORE. The right choice was to find a way to get into contact with the Order, through Sirius or directly. But he couldn't. Because the greatest tragedy of Reg's story is that he never had anywhere -- anyone -- to go to. Regulus killed himself. He was eighteen, he was alone, and he didn't just "do the right thing in the end." No, he killed himself. Deliberately and intentionally. After being made into a child soldier, after being left alone, after having nowhere to fucking go, he fucking killed himself. Now that's heartbreaking. That's tragedy.

And I think about how in OOTP Sirius has no kind words to say about Regulus, and i think about Regulus slicing his hand open and opening the cave with Black family blood and not saying goodbye. And i just, can't think of a reason Regulus would do that if not for Sirius.

I doubt it was a moral awakening like this kid was fully socialized to be a bigot, and idk maybe something woke him up. But when I think about it, the only real motivation i can think of for Regulus to betray the death eaters and the family that he stuck with despite everything, is because of Sirius. Because his brother was on the other side of a war Regulus had just discovered was unwinnable. So he kills himself because he betrays voldemort for Sirius, but he doesn't say goodbye, he doesn't try and find a way to live through it, to ask for help. Regulus dies in that cave because he wants to.

(and this is where the fanon lore comes in)

I think about regulus dying in that cave because he chose to, and i think he felt like he'd finally paid off a debt to his brother. I think he felt like he'd finally been brave enough to do what Sirius had done for him, to take the hit, take the curse, take the hurt so that his brother didn't have to. I think regulus died in that cave and thought he didnt have a life worth living, he didn't have anyone to live for. I think he was hopeless and trapped and at peace, because he finally found a way to take care of his brother.

This is why i can't stand Reg anti's, because they will really look at this broken boy, a child soldier who killed himself before he was old enough to know what living looked like. A kid who never had anywhere to go. Who never made a single choice he wasn't forced to until he chose to die. They will look at that kid, and laugh at the idea that James Potter could ever love him. And it makes my blood boil.