#i am sad they deserve sm better | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crepezinhos · 3 months ago

Note

hey I just read your kazuscara fanfiction and wanted to say that I love your writing style :) i think you nailed both those characters really good 🩵 i dont usually send asks bc i am a silent reader, but I just had to hahaha, i just saw you wont update the story bc of lack of likes which is rlly sad bc you deserve sm more! a lot of ppl dont like or comment bc they too are silent readers, doesnt mean they didnt enjoy it, if it makes you feel any better about your work :) no pressure but any chances you will chance your mind for part 3 though? xD if not, its also fine, just wanted to tell you that before I go silent again xD 🩵

(also you can make a bot on c.ai!)

have a lovely day 🌹

A Third Round... and a Third Guy?!

(REQUEST #8) POV: The sexual tension between you, Wanderer and Kazuha was too much for them to ignore. Both of them were so invested in you that it was inevitable that in another coincidental reunion, all of you decided to meet again some days later in Inazuma for an orgy. What you guys didn’t expect was Detective Heizou stopping by to chat with Kazuha about a case… and deciding to join to the fun.

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— This is a smutty NSFW piece

— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns

— AU is: In-Game

— Contains: Orgy, degradation, pussy-slapping, praising and a little bit of homosexuality coming from Kazuha.

— Reading of the original post is advised

“And then, the Oratrice officially found Furina as guilty and sentenced her to death penalty.” You finished your story to Kazuha while walking through the streets of Inazuma.

“Wow… so, Fontaine doesn’t have an archon anymore?” He asked you as his answer, genuinely intrigued with your story.

“Nope.” You shook your head side-to-side. “What about you, Hat Guy? Any news about Sumeru?”

“No, everything is boring there as usual.” He shrugged his shoulders, avoiding eye contact with the both of you. “Are we close to the bar yet?” His eyes finally found courage to look back at the both of you.

“Yes. Why? Are you in a hurry~?” Kazuha asked in a flirty tone that made Wanderer trigger immediately, and you giggled about it with Kazuha.

“S-Shut up!” His cheeks flushed into a pink tone.

“Kaedehara Kazuha!” The three suddenly heard someone’s voice coming from the streets ahead of you which you didn’t recognize. “There you are! I’ve been looking for you for days!” The man had long, wine-colored hair, shiny green eyes and a weird uniform covering his body.

He was walking peacefully towards your direction with his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“Detective Heizou!” Kazuha was obviously the only one that recognized him, smiling at him while you and Wanderer shared confused looks.

“How are you doing?” He raised a hand so that Kazuha would shake it.

“I’m great! How about you?” Kazuha obliged to his gesture and politely shook his hand.

“Doing great too! And I assume these are your… friends..?” Heizou took a look at you and Wanderer.

In the matter of a blink, his eyes mired at you up and down, which made you a little embarrassed.

You were dressing a casual uniform from Fontaine but with the exception that it was slightly more suggestive and revealing than the usual just to tease Kazuha and Wanderer a little bit. Both of them eyed you the same way when you first met them in the lands of Inazuma.

“Yes! This the Great Swordswoman from Fontaine, Y/N Y/S, and you can call that dude ‘Hat Guy’!” You and Wanderer both waved at him when Kazuha introduced you and him.

“Nice to meet you!” He waved back at the both of you friendly. “Are you guys hanging out?” His attention went back to Kazuha.

“Yes, we’re going to the bar and have a drink. Would you like to join us?” Kazuha offered, but Wanderer immediately looked at him angry.

“I think you’re forgetting an important detail about our ‘hangout’, Kazuha!” Wanderer protested with a lot of irony like he was about to kill Kazuha.

“No, no, no, it’s ok!” You jumped in, trying to srop Wanderer from possibly jumping Kazuha. “Of course, he can join us!” You winked at him quickly, which made Wanderer’s eyes widen in shock with your humility and versatility.

“Oh, I apologize for interrupting you guys! I just wanted to know if Kazuha would be free tomorrow so he could help me solving a case!” Heizou raised his hands, trying to demonstrate innocence.

“Oh, I’m not so sure I’ll be free, Heizou. Maybe the day after?” Kazuha offered.

“Sure!” He shrugged his shoulders with a smile in his lips.

“So, would you like to join us for the night?” Kazuha offered again, now excited to see that you were ok with it and completely ignoring Wanderer’s discomfort.

“Kazuha, are you stu—?!”

Your clothes were practically ripped away by from your body by Wanderer and Heizou as soon the bedroom’s doors and windows were locked shut. You weren’t really surprised or bothered by it. Wanderer had previously described his desperation to fuck you raw to you back when you four were all drinking in the bar and Heizou had been fighting really hard to keep his hands inside his pockets this whole time.

That’s why in the matter of seconds, you were naked, thrown against the bed with legs spread and with three hungry men looking down at you from above, eager to have sex with you.

Individually… or not.

Wanderer was like a sly fox and obviously reserved his place in the line for your pussy. That’s why he was staring at you the most intensely and licking his lips like a hungry predator while preparing to make his way inside you.

“What a perfect whore… all spread-put and ready to receive some cock… You really haven’t changed a bit since our last encounter…” Wanderer ran his length up and down at your wet folds trying to lubricate himself.

“Mind if I use your head, Ms. Y/N?” You suddenly felt a heavy weight sit down by your left side, where Heizou standing previously. Since you were distracted by Wanderer’s intoxicating and beautiful dominance, you didn’t even realize he had been moving until that weight pulled you a little closer to the left angle and Heizou’s face showed up in a closer distance to yours compared to previously.

But before you could answer, Wanderer pushed himself inside you, causing a scream to beautifully escape your lips that made his cock twitch in the spot.

“Of course you can. She’s here for it.” Wanderer didn’t take long to begin moving in and out in a normal rhythm, trying to get to know it before fucking it more senselessly.

Heizou shrugged his shoulders in agreement and begun undoing his pants. While that happened, another “weight” sat at the bed, this time in your right side.

“You’re still too aggressive with her, Hat Guy…” Kazuha said while staring down at your face with concern.

“How many times will I have to tell you that she likes it like this?!” Wanderer sighed in response, sharing eye contact with Kazuha for a moment.

“Oh? She likes dirty talk?” Heizou smiled at both men, trying to ease the situation while struggling with his pants.

“Way more than that!” Wanderer answered with pride. “I’ll show you…” He placed his thumb against your clit and pressed it down while slowing the rhythm of his hips. “Beg for me.” He ordered in a dominant tone that made butterflies kick your stomach.

“Please! Fuck me like the horny slut I am! Please, I beg you!” You obeyed Wanderer immediately, which made his cock pulsate inside you in arousal.

Heizou’s eyebrows widened gently, pretending to be a little shocked with what he had just witnessed and Wanderer proceeded to really begin fulfilling his and your desires by slapping his hips against yours with a force and speed that was pleasurably breathtaking.

“So fucking soaked and eager to please us because of some basic degradation…” Wanderer giggled at you meanly while suddenly slapping his palm in your pussy, which made you squirm in the spot. “You can’t even be satisfied with a single cock at a time… Isn’t that right, Y/N?” He proceeded to dehumanize you from above with a big smirk in his face, which just made you smile back in satisfaction.

“Yes, yes… you’re right!” You submitted to him, trying to grind your pussy in direction of his hands to have it touched by him again.

“Wow… She’s definitely one of the most interesting women I’m ever going to fuck.” Heizou smirked while finally freeing his hard dick from its cage, more incited to have sex with you now.

You swallowed all your exhaustion down your throat when you saw Heizou’s dick getting closer and arched your head backwards with spread lips to receive Heizou’s dick inside you next while Kazuha mired it all with appreciative eyes.

“Good woman…” Heizou patted your head as he started to push in gently.

Now that your head was stuck in that angle, you realized it was going to be really hard to take in both men inside you at the same time. Wanderer bobbing your body up and down with his thrusts wasn’t allowing your head to find perfect shelter for Heizou, nor could he go too deep in you, otherwise you would definitely choke and gag multiple times. It didn’t matter that much to him, tho, he was still having fun

Meanwhile, for Kazuha, his hunger finally won him over and he started to run his hand around your body every now and then, especially in your bouncing breasts.

“So, as I was saying…” Heizou begun, rearranging his throat before continuing speaking to Kazuha and restraining his own groans. “A lot of people in the city have been reporting to my office that their homes have been invaded and some objects, like jewelry and Mora, were stolen. From the few houses I’ve visited, all the robberies seem to have been done similarly, which makes me believe all of them were done by the same guy, so I was thinking maybe you could help me tracking the culprit using your sensibility with nature and the wind.” He essayed for him while still making you gag on his cock.

You felt embarrassed to be the only one moaning and barely screaming. Wanderer was doing his best to keep his own arousal inside his throat, which was causing his nose to breathe really hardly and his eyes to be closed shut, which you thought was unfair to your situation.

“Oh? You think I’d do a good job tracking criminals? I appreciate your invitation, Detective. Where would we meet tomorrow?” Kazuha replied to Heizou, but before Heizou’s lips could vocalize anything else, Wanderer’s loud grunt and dramatic eye-rolling in boredom called both men’s attention.

“Oh my God, are you guys really going to talk about robberies and work in the middle of sex?! I’m trying to fuck a pussy here! Can I have the right to fuck her without getting turned off?!” He argued in an ironic tone while slowing down his thrusts because of the turn-off.

“Oh? You want us to take this more seriously?” Kazuha asked with a growing smirk in his face, as if he was creating an idea.

“Yeah?!” Wanderer looked back at him and responded him with an enormous irony.

“Alright then…” But what Kazuha did to obey Wanderer’s wish was absolutely not expected from any of you.

Kazuha launched himself in Wanderer’s direction, raising his arms so he could grab his face with his hands until they were centimeters away from each other and pulled him closer until his lips were against Kazuha’s.

Both yours’ Heizou’s eyes widened in shock while watching Kazuha increase the intensity of the hot kiss he was delivering to Wanderer. Wanderer, in the other hand, was so taken aback that he didn’t react for some good, awkward seconds.

And when he finally woke up back to reality, he immediately pulled away from him, even pulling away from you.

“What the fuck, dude?!” Wanderer wiped his mouth multiple times, grunting in disgust of Kazuha’s action while you, Kazuha and Heizou giggled in a low tone.

“What? I’m taking the moment seriously!” Kazuha shrugged his shoulders while kneeing in the bed again.

“Well, yeah! BUT I’M NOT GAY!” Wanderer screamed.

“Nice one, Kazuha!” Heizou cheered.

“You’re just not fun… In an orgy, we’re all supposed to have fun with each other, not just her…” Kazuha finally crawled away from him.

But he unexpectedly grabbed your waist and pulled you upwards, forcing Heizou’s glistened cock out of you too.

“All yours~.” Kazuha smiled to him while turning you to Heizou’s direction, locking your legs spread wide from each other for him as well.

“You weirdo…” You whispered to Kazuha while he pulled your chest to rest against his and used his hands to revolve the many areas of your chest with more freedom and will this time.

“Shhhh… just relax.” Kazuha whispered in your ear back while Heizou gently pushed his length inside your pussy now, causing you to moan loud in pleasure.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Wanderer protested while guarding his dick back to his pants, crawling back in the bed quickly afterwards, trying to possibly retrieve your pussy back to him.

“You were the one who let her go…” Kazuha argued between the many kisses he started to deliver to your neck romantically .

God, Heizou and Kazuha were being so much more romantic and gentle to your body than Wanderer, it made your stomach feel even more butterflies kicking it around.

“You kissed me, man! Of course I pulled away from her, but I want her back!” Wanderer argued again, centimeters away from Kazuha again to confront him and his actions.

“With this proximity, I assume you want another one?” Kazuha winked at him, causing Wanderer to immediately step back in disgust.

“Just have a little bit of patience. I’ll be done with her soon.” Heizou joined the conversation, beginning to circle his thumbs meanly around your clit in rhythm with his sharp and slow thrusts in your g-spot, causing more cute moans to leave your mouth and your legs to shake in ecstasy.

Wanderer shrugged his shoulders and decided to cross his arms while watching the scene below him intensely only. But the way his index finger tapped his arm told you just how bad Wanderer wanted to touch and run his hands around you like Kazuha was right now or just fuck you raw.

The man was starving.

You simply stopping making any kind of force with your body, letting yourself to be fully manhandled as they wished to. You were simply having too much fun like that. To be fucked so greatly by a sexy guy while having other parts of your poetically caressed by another beautiful man’s hands and mouth was being one of the greatest pleasures you were ever feeling.

“So damn tight…” Heizou grunted, leaning closer to you just to press smooth kisses in your boobs with the help of Kazuha’s soft hands, making your head arch back in ecstasy.

Having all of your g-spots explored at the same time was turning you into an animal in heat.

“F-Faster!” You begged to Heizou, who noticeably smirked at your desperate tone, but still obeyed you with pleasure.

“What a hungry whore you found yourself to have fun with, Kazuha… I wonder how you found out about her in the first place.” Heizou stopped teasing your chest to look at Kazuha for a quick moment.

“Destiny tied us all together…” He poetically whispered in your ear in a tone that caused you to grind and clench around Heizou as a response.

“Oh, fuck…” He groaned feeling how your walls clamped around him.

His hands were pushing your legs down to the sheets, fucking you like a mating press. It was bringing Wanderer to feel so jealous… his eyes were barely blinking. He wanted to dominate you just like that so bad… but, Heizou was the one enjoying instead.

“Fuck, Kazuha, stop being such a tease!” You moaned out to Kazuha while Heizou brought you and him to have an orgasm that you two begun building before back when Wanderer was fucking you in missionary.

Kazuha giggled at your reaction like he was still a little drunk, which made it sound three times sexier. Kazuha had a really beautiful voice when alcohol was affecting him.

“Do you want me to go next, darling? I promise I won’t tease you too much.” He asked to you, using a hand to fix some threads of your sweaty, sticky hair.

“Yes, yes! Please, fuck me next!” You tried reaching your lips into his, but Kazuha decided to be mean and deny you.

“Getting rid of me, ay?” Heizou asked to you while his pace and voice became more erratic.

“It’s not like that…” You looked back at him embarrassed.

“It’s ok, I’m not a part of your fuck-group anyway… but since you’re going to abandon me soon… make sure to take every bit of me inside, ok?” Heizou raised his body again, holding your hips stuck in place so he could thrusts with more ease and precision.

“Yes, yes… fill me up..!” Your degradative words were like a switch for him because both you and Heizou immediately begun spilling both your orgasms inside you while his hips were stoned rocking against yours and you were both moaning like animals. Kazuha held you in place to make sure you wouldn’t possibly spill out a single drop of cum, smiling at the beautiful scenery he was watching. A little preview of what he was about to do with you next.

Wanderer’s cock strained hard in his pants, watching your pussy taking so much cum inside it like easy work, that he also grunted to express his pleasure.

“Fuck…” Heizou hissed while pulling out his dick from you, all creamy with both clear and white juices.

“Good job, Y/N...” Kazuha whispered in your ear while Heizou threw his head back to breathe in and out to relax himself from the exhaustion.

Kazuha quickly spun you around again and pulled you by your ankles downwards, having you laying down in the very center of the bed.

“You can have her now, Hat Guy, but I’ll be taking your favorite spot.” Kazuha ran a finger in your creamy entrance while he winked at Wanderer.

In response, Wanderer scoffed and immediately started crawling closer to your head and undoing his pants.

“P-Please, fuck me until I cum!” You begged to Kazuha, who still kept analyzing with your folds using his fingers.

“I will, darling, don’t worry.” He nodded while finally leaning his head down and using his other free hand to undo the hair tie in the back of his head.

He looked divine with his hair loose and you were so thankful that angel in front of you was going to play with your pussy. It even made you feel dirty to fuck with someone that angelical, but you knew Kazuha would think of it like that.

“Open your mouth.” Wanderer grabbed chin and forced you to look up at him.

You stuck your tongue out for his aching cock and he didn’t hesitate in pushing it inside as soon as possible. And at the same time, Kazuha launched his tongue at the deepest corners he could reach inside your pussy. You couldn’t help but try to let out a scream that was muffled by Wanderer’s cock. It made him giggle in arousal and pleasure of feeling your warm breath surround his cock so gently.

You didn’t even realize until now that Heizou was now simply standing up in the side of the bed, staring down at the scene very amused.

“Now we’re taking this moment seriously.” Kazuha murmured to Wanderer, who preferred to not engage in any more arguments.

Kazuha’s tongue got out of you and begun swirling your clit tortuously, dragging it around and bringing it to its edge of pleasure in a vicious rhythm. And before your pussy could grind and tighten around nothing, his fingertips started tickling your folds again, trying to make way inside you.

And when they successfully invaded your insides, your whole body jolted in ecstasy. Although he wasn’t fully bringing you to feel pleasure using his dick rather than his fingers, the torture of his fingers being unable to reach your favorite spots was making you melt in sadistic pleasure, especially when your mouth was being so brutally invaded by Wanderer.

“Such a predictable slut.” Wanderer pulled your hair to the back while you pleasured him, enjoying how pathetic he was making you look under him.

Your hips were absolutely locking Kazuha’s head in that perfect angle where he was provoking your clit at. It’s like he had already learned the formula to make a woman go crazy: fucking her pussy like it is more valuable than their life.

“K-Ka—” You couldn’t even gag a syllable of his name, but Kazuha was too much of a poet to ignore your voice.

“Feeling good, aren’t you?” He unattached his tongue from your clit for a moment just to purposefully tease you with his voice.

You nodded the most you could although your position didn’t help.

“But I haven’t even started it yet…” Kazuha opened the distance between his fingers inside you, scissoring them repeatedly at the most tortuous rhythm and spots ever.

Your eyes rolled back until they were barely miring stars. You couldn’t believe those fingers were making you feel better than a whole enormous dick inside you.

The way your legs shook and ground in Kazuha’s head for dear life told him that was enough to make you have an orgasm soon. All you needed was some extra cycles of those tiring movements that Kazuha was doing to your pussy.

“Use your tongue, you dirty whore. Don’t tell me you’re too destroyed to do that because of some fingers.” Wanderer looked down directly at your eyes, somehow managing to get even harder than before.

Your tongue tried its best to make way through his dick and stick itself outside your lips, serving as a soft slide for his cock to go in. You decided to also try using your top to tease the corners of his dick, causing Wanderer to throw his head back in arousal.

“Oh, yes… good fucking girl..!” He gently tapped your cheek multiple times in a praising tone, although he was smirking very meanly.

“Good girls deserve a prize, don’t you think?” Kazuha looked up to Wanderer between the many licks he was serving to your pussy.

“What do you propose?” Wanderer finally responded Kazuha without being mean.

“Let me try that thing you did earlier…” Kazuha rose his head, stopping the stimulation in your clit, but I’m exchange, used his hand holding your hip to carefully slap your pussy.

Your pussy and legs clenched around him immediately with that, along with a muffled scream that made Kazuha’s eyes immediately widen in arousal.

“Hmmm… she really does like this.” Kazuha’s mouth went back to your pussy right afterwards speaking.

“I told you! She’s a masochist! You should do it again...” Wanderer suggested.

“Let me do it, gentlemen.” Heizou’s hand ran all the way from your chest down to your crotch, centimeters away from Kazuha’s body.

His hand smacked you once very gently, trying to be easy in the beginning, which was teasing to your poor, abused cunt. And all you could was discount it on poor Kazuha, who was barely suffocating in your clit, but still kept his fingers going for your orgasm.

“So eager to be degraded…” Heizou whispered while admiring your pathetic, fucked-out face sucking off Wanderer.

“Fucking show her where she belongs.” One of Wanderer’s hands moved down to one of your breasts.

Heizou obliged with a harder smack across your pussy, causing you to groan once again.

“Taking it all so good like a real, dirty slut…” Heizou couldn’t help but make that comment to turn you on even more while he slapped you from multiple directions, in a rhythm that edged your cunt in pain every time.

Your eyes were tearing from the stimulation that finally growing into an aching bulge in your womb. With your remaining energy, you quickly moved a hand to Kazuha’s hair and pushed it down for dear life.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Kazuha asked while fingers brushed your hips, trying to show some love and worship to them between all the aggression you were having to take. “You’re warm like you have a fever...” He teased, but immediately went to the mission of precisely eating your pussy.

Your legs were squirming in the air, toes curling in anticipation for that orgasm was tensely being built in your nucleus, but unfortunately you could express little pleasure due to Wanderer’s insistence of making use of your mouth. All you could was trying to repeatedly try to grind your pussy against his tongue over and over.

“Make her cum already.” Wanderer’s eyebrows frowned in stress of waiting too long for that pleasuring view of you having an orgasm again.

“It’s coming…” Kazuha erratically increased the speed of his fingers and increase the distance between them to spread you more than you already were.

And in a second, your whole body twitched hardly with the feeling of your womb blowing your orgasm out of your body. Not even Wanderer’s cock was able to hold most of your scream, but he made sure to keep himself stuck inside you. Your back arched to an angle that managed to push your legs against Kazuha’s head, forcing even harder the wet contact he did with your clit while his fingers accepted all your orgasm coming down.

Kazuha rose his head and smiled down at the few drops of cum coming out of you, making the force you were trying to do in him look pathetic.

“My, my…” He smirked, slowly pulling out and miring his own creamy fingers. “Insatiable…” He smirked while licking his fingers and crawling away from you.

Heizou slapped your folds once now that Kazuha wasn’t in his way anymore.

“Good girl.” He praised, running a finger between your folds to get a sip of all the liquids that were dirtying your pussy.

You breathed hard, relieved with the pleasure Kazuha brought you to have. But your relaxation time was quickly cut by Wanderer slamming his dick back inside again.

“Spin around and bend over.” He ordered while pulling out from you, still holding your face to have some control of you.

Despite your exhaustion, you quietly obeyed him and got on all fours for Wanderer, who immediately pushed his cock back to your mouth. It made you gag. You weren’t expecting him to get so turned on with you being eaten out.

“Such a good whore…” Scara leaned closer to you, trying to focus his vision entirely in your head bobbing up and down around his dick in that pathetic angle.

“She really does like this kind of dirty talk…” Heizou commented from behind. “You had to see how badly her pussy just quivered with your words.” You felt Heizou crawl in the bed and placing his hands in your hips. “Let me make use of it while you finish off there or else she’ll meltdown with the pain of not being fulfilled.” You felt the tip of his dick grinding in your hole, trying to feel just how wet you were.

Heizou grunted in satisfaction when he pushed in and your body trembled in response.

“Goddamn, Kazuha… you made a real mess in here!” Heizou giggled at the feeling your pussy suffocating his dick as soon as he got in.

“Have I?” You heard Kazuha walking to Heizou’s direction while still tasting your cum.

“It’s sliding in so easily… I would’ve never guessed you were so good at eating pussies.” Heizou begun moving in and out of you.

“Why? You think you are better?” Kazuha sat by your side and laid down, admiring the view of your boobs bouncing with the pressure both men applied in you.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’ll have time to showcase my abilities.” Heizou suddenly slapped one of your buttocks, causing you to squeak like a little mouse.

“Arch your back f’me.” He tried pushing your hips down and arch your back by himself, and you decided to help him by spreading your legs further away and leaning your body closer to his crotch.

“I’m close…” Wanderer whispered, almost breathless as he held your head in place to thrust your mouth in an erratic pace.

You closed your eyes and calmly waited for Wanderer to reach his peak while he whimpered in his own. His moans were incredibly high-pitched and teary for a man that acted so rude with anyone.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” He grunted while the other guys just enjoyed the moment in their own way.

And finally, his hips slammed into yours harshly and you started to feel a string of hot cum taking space in your mouth. You had to swallow multiple times to take in all the cum that he had in stock for you.

Seems like he really looked forward to this moment, didn’t he?

“There we go…” Heizou commented while he saw Wanderer quivering with his orgasm.

Wanderer kept staring at you the entire time, his ego rising the more cum that swallowed in.

“Good girl…” He pulled out from you and tapped of your cheeks again in appreciation.

Heizou’s hand moved up to your chest and no pulled you upwards, holding you against his chest while he fucked you. Your hands simply followed his and rested on top of them. The way his breathing bitches close to yours was making you clench around him.

“Poor little Y/N…” Kazuha crawled closer to you until he was sitting right in front of you. “What has he done to you..?” He rose a hand to clean off the few spills out saliva and cum that Wanderer denied to take care off.

Wanderer, meanwhile, was jerking his dick off watching the scene, somehow still eager to mess with his cock despite the recent orgasm.

“Here, let me give you what you deserve…” Kazuha got up and held your cheeks softly, taking your lips into his smoothly.

You closed your eyes and relaxed your body, melting with Kazuha’s romanticism.

Your tongue couldn’t help but chase after his and force into a dance that he thankfully managed to comply with.

“It’s ok, Y/N, you just need to take it in one more time, okay?” Kazuha whispered between the kiss, your noses and foreheads touching each other.

“I think you should have her now.” Heizou shrugged his shoulders. “Although I’m loving this pussy, it’s a crime for you to not try it out.” Heizou pulled out from you but still held you in place. “She’s begging for you, dude.” Heizou playfully tapped on Kazuha’s shoulder while he walked away from you.

Kazuha got up quickly so he could hold you and impede you from falling in the bed.

“Oh, really? Is that true, Y/N?” Kazuha gripped in your thighs gently and pulled them closer to him, caressing them as he made that teasing question.

“Y-Yes…” You nodded while trying to throw yourself closer to him.

“Then I’ll give you what you want.” Kazuha sat down in the bed, pulling you with him.

You got the message on your own, so you quickly hopped up and landed with your entrance at his tip, slowly sliding down on him until you were sat at his crotch.

“Hummm…” He groaned, appreciating how your pussy gripped tight on his dick immediately. “You guys really turned her on, haven’t you?” Kazuha turned his face in both guys’ direction. But Wanderer sighed in stress instead.

“Just make her fucking ride you.” Wanderer stopped his slow rhythm in his dick while Heizou simply watched with crossed arms.

“Ok, ok…” Kazuha rose his hands away from your hips and laid this whole body down at the bed. “Come on, Y/N…” He looked at you with a beautiful smirk in his face that made your hips immediately turn on and begin moving like a machine.

He looked incredibly hot thrown in the bed like that, receiving pleasure instead of giving. Kazuha was also enjoying you with a lot of passion, particularly enjoying how boobs bounced every time you sat on his crotch.

Since you were setting the pace, you were sitting and grinding on him the way you desired to, meaning that all your moans were genuine sounds of pleasure instead of reactions to the sparks you were previously feeling. You were loving to have a little bit of power after having it all taken away from you. Not that you didn’t like it, but switching is always fun.

“Hummmmm…” Kazuha groaned with a satisfied smile, throwing his head aside.

You couldn’t resist your urges and leaned your body down, arching and grinding your pussy down in his dick, while your mouth immediately trailed a way in his neck.

“Oh, wow..!” Kazuha hugged your back, allowing you to continue completely. “Are you guys seeing this?” Kazuha asked like he was a little kid who just found out about something new.

“What an angle…” Heizou praised the scene you two were creating for them.

“Fuck…” Wanderer whimpered to himself as he quickened his pace, barely breaking his cock into dust with his fist.

“Come on, come on..!” You took a look under your belly, miring the mess you were making on his cock, creaming him with all the liquids that were inside your pussy.

You decided to sit in his crotch again and begin swaying your hips, trying to tease him with your gummy walls. Kazuha’s head rolled back along with a loud moan, taken aback with your initiative. Kazuha’s cock swirling around your walls while resting its tip in your cervix was surely making your head spin too.

“You look like a work of art, milady… A divinity.” Kazuha commented with that attractive, drunk face of his.

Now that he also had some pink marks in his neck from your make-out session with it, he was also looking sexy under you. If only he was naked too. But… his kimono wasn’t really tied-up anymore. It was just mostly hanging in his chest now since the temperature in the room was becoming intoxicating. Your eyes blinked in realization, and your hands quickly hunted his chest down.

You grabbed both ends of his kimono and pushed the hem away from each other like you’d die without it. His white-colored chest immediately showed up and shone with the room’s low lights.

Your pussy tightened around him immediately. Now he was also looking divin.

“Like it..?” Kazuha asked you with red cheeks in slight embarrassment.

You immediately nodded for him, causing his hands to move down to your hips and hug the gently.

“So let me cum inside you, and you’ll have the beautiful picture of my sex face, ok?” Kazuha smirked while beginning to assist your hopping.

“Yes!” You leaned down again, leaving the job of fucking entirely to him, but he fortunately took the opportunity and started thrusting his hips up and down.

After some minimum, quick thrusts, Kazuha begun bursting his cum all around you. You immediately leaned upwards to watch the man’s face and body contort with that orgasm in ecstasy.

To relax, you simply kept sat down on him, refusing to move while he kept that beautiful face of his.

You suddenly heard someone stand up from their seat.

“Well, I think we’re all exhausted, aren’t we?” He gently held you, pulling you away from Kazuha in a way that left you standing up on the ground with shaky legs. “And a little broken…” He giggled at his own pun.

“Wow… You were right about her pussy…” Kazuha sat up on the bed, looking more drunk than ever. His sleeves didn’t even stay at their original spot and fell down to his hands, leaving him shirtless, but he didn’t care about it.

“Don’t even think about it, she’s mine tonight.” Wanderer showed up in the scene while rearranging his pants with his dick back on it, pulling you from Heizou’s grip immediately.

Heizou didn’t do anything to fight his possessiveness back. He already figured out that the man had some good, unsolved issues that made him act like that.

“Why? Excited to have her on your own?” Kazuha teased him with an annoying smirk in his face.

“Don’t you guys have a case to solve?!” He avoided Kazuha’s question, making both men stare at each other in realization.

“We do have a case to solve…” Kazuha finally rose from his seat in the bed, rearranging his clothes and hair back to normal.

“Shall we?” Heizou asked, pointing to the door.

“Not before I kiss this woman goodbye…” Kazuha quickly walked to you and pulled you by your cheeks to smooch your lips playfully. “See you next time, Y/N.” He winked to you.

“Now you’re making me jealous.” Heizou quickly skipped close to you and smooched your cheeks. “Maybe we’ll see each other again!” Heizou smirked and both guys started walking away together, their conversation already beginning.

As soon as the door was closed, Wanderer sighed in stress.

“Tch, I hope he never shows up again. That Kazuha guy is already annoying enough.” Wanderer pulled your legs upwards, causing to squeak in fear of falling, but he simply held you like a princess.

“You’re too stressed…” You whispered in his ears.

“Want me to open the windows?” He asked while laying you down in the only corner of the bed that wasn’t dirty or sweaty.

You had closed them so no one would hear or see the things you and all the guys were doing in that room.

“Yes, please…” You said moving around in the bed, feeling all your sweat burning from the heat shock.

He obeyed you in silence, still with that usual grumpy face of his. Seems like making him happy was really a hard task, isn’t it..? Even when he crawled in the bed with you and covered the both of you with sheets, his face was stoic like he just had a bad day.

“Good night…” You still tried to get some real kindness out of him, but instead of replying to you with his words, he used his arms instead.

He hugged you from behind and immediately drowned his nose in your shoulder. You even tried adjusting your body to make yourself a little bit more comfortable in that position, but his hands were reminding you of tentacles thanks how strong they were holding you.

“You’re… suffocating me.” You gently whispered and he moved his hands down to your belly, but still holding you hostage in your own bed.

You sighed in relief. At least he wasn’t an asshole… or any of the men you gave yourself for this single night.

Taglist: @amoyanderes @alatusorrow @luminieee @the-stinky-winky @kindofshyent @bigmantiddys @shyentsfoundherink

Don’t forget to like and comment if you liked it <3

Now I’m actually done with this fic. No more requests about it please.

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maledictusfotum · 2 months ago

Note

Heya I saw you like Severitus too 😁😁

(I noticed it after your amazing little Fanart of Obscured and it's so beautiful and sad at the same time 🥺😭😭 do you have others favorite chapters of this fanfic?)

But I'm curious 👀

Have you a favorite Severitus fanfics list 👀 ?

first off, thank you <3 I love Obscured all the way through, my all time favorite chapters would be chapters 18 and 19 respectively and chapter 5 though mainly for the hurt/comfort, drama, angst and just brilliant writing I am glad you asked about my severitus favorites because I have a comprehensive list of all my favorite Severitus fics and have had them lined up for my weekly rereads and now I get to share them...this is my moment this is not a "oh this fic is on this number because its better than the others" because to me, most of these fics are as good as the other and each deserve their own respect for good writing and storylines :) there's no real organization to this it just is so lets get down to it 1. Like None Other series-this series always makes it onto the Severitus fic recs but im adding it too because I adore it sm. mainly for the magic lore and Harry growth and generally just some good fucking Severitus and ofc im a stickler for Draco being thrown into that dynamic as well so. yes, lovely series 2. A Patchwork Family-there is no universe where this fic doesn't make it to this list, the Severitus, the childhood trauma, the ptsd healing, the emotional hurt/comfort...I enjoy the first one immensely and am so so so hyped for the sequel and just from the first chapter im even more ecstatic bc now we incorporate MORE trauma and yes I could yap forever about this 3. Obscured-do I have to even explain why this is on here. you have no idea how much this fic inspired my hyper fixation on Obscurials...no, I had not watched Fantastic Beasts before reading this fic, but I definitely did after and I woke everyone up screaming every time Credence made an appearance...the ADHD is strong in me. anyway this fic's writing is so damn good its like eating a hot meal or a full night of sleep its so satisfying for me personally, and the author is also a Six of Crows fan and I can glean the inspiration and when have I ever been denied the joys of Grishaverse writing. NEVER 4. Digging for Bones-okay so this fic??? its dark. its sometimes a bit TOO dark, but I enjoy it nonetheless, its always gotten quite a few tears from me...AND it includes magic lore, so I obviously was all over that. the Severitus is good, this whole fic radiates rainy day vibes and is just generally nice despite the morose energy 5. O Mine Enemy-this was one of my first glimpses into Severitus and...it's just lovely. a lovely fic, a lovely time all around, I enjoy it immensely every time I read it, the hurt/comfort is amazing and the Severitus is delicious here. the writing style is super satisfying to me and its just a good time all around (I had to split this in two bc my computer is being odd)

#harry potter #severitus #fic rec #severitus fic rec #lovely #I am surviving off of these fics btw #they keep me sustained #I kinda want to write my own #I actually mapped one out but im afraid of commitment #L time to reread them all

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scapingthebottomofthebarrel · 5 months ago

Text

I Think I’m Gonna Be Sick (Kili x GN!Reader)

You sit quietly at the table trying to take in all the information. “Why do I have to go?” You ask sounding more scared than you’d like. Thraduils face remains unreadable so you look over at Legolas for answers.

“It’s time for you to go find your roots. It’s the perfect time. It’s a new start for everyone .” He explains with a sad smile. Legolas had found you in the forests of Greenwood when you were a baby and had demanded that Thranduil let you stay. How he did that is beyond you as you are very obviously a dwarf, but he did and you had grown up in the palace with Legolas as your father figure. That is what had led up to this current moment. Thranduil had just informed you that the king of the newly reclaimed kingdom of Erebor had agreed to let you come live there and that his sister would be coming to bring you to your new home in a month. You aren’t sure what to say. “You know that I love you more than anything. It’s because I do that this has been agreed upon. You are a dwarf and you deserve a chance to learn about your people.”

“They aren’t my people! You are! I’ve never known another dwarf. All I know is Greenwood and Rivendale and Lothlorien! I am home!” You cry looking desperately between Legolas and Thranduil

“This is your home and always will be, but you know that you need this. You can feel it in your bones.” Thranduil finally says and you hate that he’s right.

“Think of it as being a diplomat. You can forge a better relationship between the elves and the dwarves. You can always come home. Don’t ever doubt that. I just want you to try.” Legolas looks heartbroken but he is firm in his words. You let out a shaky breath and nod.

“She’s coming in a month?” You ask. They both nod and wait expectantly for your response.

“I’ll try. For Greenwood.” You say after some more thought. Legolas hugs you tightly. You struggle to come to terms with what your life will be in a month, but you know you need to try. Maybe this will settle that restless part of yourself. “I’ll need to start studying khuzdul. I don’t think elvish will do me much good there.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you ready?” Legolas asks softly.

“As I’ll ever be.” You sigh watching as the last trunk is carried out of your room. Legolas rushes forward and hugs you tightly.

“You’ll always have a home here, but please try your best.” He whispers. You stifly nod as you wrap your arms around him. After a moment he pulls back and leads you out of your room and to the throne room. As the doors slowly open you see a woman about your height looking around impatiently.

“Lady Dis please understand I’m just as ready as you are for you to leave.” Thranduil sighs from his throne. “Ah, there they are.” The woman, lady Dis, quickly whips around and smiles at you brightly.

“Hello dear. I’m Dis. It’s so wonderful to meet you.” Her kindness throws you off. While you are a dwarf, you were raised with elves so you expected some sort of resistance from her. She makes her way to you and pulls you into a tight hug. “We’ll be leaving once you’ve said your good byes. Take your time.” You can’t do anything but nod. You make your way over to the throne and look up at Thranduil.

“Your kindness will never be forgotten. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful home.” You finally get out. Your eyes are watery and you have to fight to keep your voice level. Thranduil cracks the smallest smile and nods.

“I hope you find what you’ve been looking for.” You smile back and nod. Next your go over to Legolas for one last hug.

“I’ll miss you so much.” You whisper.

“We’ll always be here for you.” He whispers back. After a moment you let go and walk over to lady Dis. She gives you a kind smile and with one last glance at the only family you’ve ever known, you follow her out the door and to your next great adventure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You feel yourself being softly shaken and slowly open your eyes. “We’re here.” Dis says with a large smile. “Welcome to Erebor.” You quickly move to look out the window of the carriage and are shocked at what you see. Dis was the first dwarf you’d ever met and now you’re looking out at a sea of them. “I’ll take you to your room and you can freshen up then I’ll take you to meet Thorin.” All you can do is nod as you continue to look around.

Once the doors to your new room close behind you you flop down on the bed. “You got this. You’ll do great. No pressure. You’re just about to meet Thranduil's sworn enemy. No pressure.” You mutter to yourself. You take a moment to pull yourself together before you do as Dis said and get ready to meet Thorin.

When you’re ready you poke your head out the door. There’s no one in the hallway except for a blonde dwarf. You can’t help but smile at the beaded braids that hang next to his mouth. Elves don’t have facial hair so you couldn’t help but think his was odd, but it fit him. “Hello. I’m Fili, crown prince of Erebor. My mother had something to attend to, so I will be taking you to meet my uncle.” His smile is just as kind as his mothers. You silently follow his through the halls trying to remember any land marks to help you feel a little less lost. “What do you think?” He asks, noticing your careful examination.

“It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It’s beautiful.” You could never have imagined that Erebor would be like this. It was breathtaking.

“You can see why we fought so hard to get it back.” All you can do is nod. “I hope you will grow to see it as a home.” He gives you another soft smile and stops in front of a large set of doors. He pushes them open and your eye immediately go to the dwarf on the throne. All the nerves hit you at once. You shakily curtsy once your reach the bottom on the steps that the thrown is at the top of.

“Yo-your majesty.” Your words are scarcely more than a whisper.

“So this is the dwarf raised by elves.” Well he’s certainly not one to beat around the bush. “Welcome to Erebor and welcome home.” You bite back the words that this is not in fact your home and it may never be, but you know better than to say that to Thorin.

“Thank you for allowing me to come live in your kingdom. I know that the relationship between elves and dwarves is not the best, but I hope to help better it.” Thorin stiffly nods and leans over to say something to a dwarf sitting next to him. The dwarf in question appears shell shocked, but quickly composes himself and jumps up making his way over to you.

“Prince Kili at your service.” He says with a wide smile. “I’ll take it from here Fi.” Fili nods and sends you a kind smile before walking to Thorin. “I’ll be your tour guide around Erebor and your main tutor to help you learn Khuzdul.” All you can do is nod. Your heart feels like it’s stopped and restarted ten times faster. Maybe all the change is too much and you’re dying. No, that can’t be it. The feeling is oddly pleasant. You suddenly feel as if everything will be ok. You don’t think you’ve ever known a calm like this. Kili pulls you out of your thoughts with a clap of his hands. “Right. Let’s get going. There’s lots to see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And this is the market. You will mostly find things made in the mountain or from Dale.” You nod at Kili's words and continue to look around wide eyed.

“It’s magnificent!” You practically run to a nearby stall with intricate beads proudly displayed on the table.

“Do you know what these ones are for?” He asks with a big grin. You shake your head no as you carefully pick one up. “They’re courting beads. You gift them at the beginning of a courtship and put them at the end of the braid you put in each others hair. Usually you hand make them yourself, but not always” You can’t help the soft smile that makes its way onto your face.

“What a beautiful custom.” There’s a strange pang of longing in your heart that twists when you look at Kili. You must have made a face because Kilis expression shifts from one of pride to one of concern.

“Are you alright?” He asks softly as he places a hand on your shoulder.

“I uhhh I think the day is starting to catch up with me. Would it be alright if I went and rested?” Kili quickly nods and begins to lead you out of the market.

“Of course. I’ll take you back to your chambers and you can rest until dinner.” You smile at him gratefully and follow him through the winding halls of the mountain. Once you arrived at your room Kili gave you a blinding smile and said he’d see you at dinner. All you could do was nod.

“It must be all the change. Erebor is rather different than Greenwood.” You mutter to yourself as you shuffle across your room to lay down. You heave a sigh and stare at the ceiling in your room. “Day one of being a full fledged dwarf is almost over…”

Unbeknownst to you Kili was practically dancing down the hallway on his way to find Fili. When he finally does he breaks out into a sprint and practically tackles his brother. “They’re my One!” He whisper screeches shaking Fili by the shoulders.

“What?” Fili asks trying to get out of his brothers grip.

“They’re my One! Can you believe it?” Fili looks at Kili confused for a second before it clicks and a wide grins breaks out on his face.

“What did they say?”

“Well nothing yet. I think they think they’re ill.” Kili shrugs.

“They think they’re ill?” Fili asks slowly.

“It makes sense they wouldn’t know what a One is, they were raised by elves after all.”

“What are you going to do?” Fili has never seen Kili happier as they make their way to their rooms to prepare for dinner.

“Obviously we’re going to get married.” Kili says with a love sick sigh.

“Before that. You said they think they’re ill.” Kili waves Fili off surprisingly unbothered by the fact that you could be interpreting your tie to him as an illness.

“No need to worry brother, just start writing your speech for the wedding.” Kili practically skips ahead of Fili who can only shake his head with a fond smile on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been six months since you arrived in Erebor and the adjustment has been smoother than you expected. You’ve picked up Khuzdul fairly well and are no longer so lost in the mountain. You are currently seated at the desk in your room writing a response to your most recent letter from Legolas. While you miss Greenwood and your elven family dearly, you are happy to let them know you’re adjusting to well to life in the Lonely Mountain. You’re pulled from your thoughts when you head a knock on the door. “Come in!” You call setting your quill down.

“Hello dear.” You quickly make your way across the room and hug Dis.

“To what do I owe the honor of your visit?” Dis holds a book out to you.

“A gift. It’s a book of dwarven fairy tales. I read it to Fili and Kili when they were little. Kili was actually the one who recommended it when I said I wanted to give you a gift.” You take the book into your hands and run your fingers along the intricate designs stamped into the cover.

“Thank you!” You gasp. “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much!” You say louder.

“Of course my dear. Being with us for half a year is an event deserving of a gift.” The two of you exchange smiles and another hug before Dis has to leave for a meeting. You’re quick to curl up in a chair and flip to the first story.

A few hours of you slowly reading the Khuzdul on the pages pass before there’s another knock on your door but you're so engrossed in the book you don’t notice. “There you are!” Your hand flies to your chest as you let out a scream.

“Kili why would you do that?” You hiss as he has the nerve to laugh.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. You missed lunch so I brought you some food. What’s got you so entranced?” He asks leaning over your shoulder to look at the book in your hands. “I see mom gave you her gift. What do you think?”

“They’re so different from the stories Legolas read me as a child I can’t wrap my head around it.” Kili smiles proudly and puffs out his chest. “There’s some parts I don’t understand tho.”

“I’m sure I can help explain it. What’s got you confused?” He takes a seat on the arm of the chair you’re sat in.

“Well first off the stories keep mentioning finding your One.” You point to a sentence on the page and when you look up at Kili he has an odd look on his face. Before you can ask what’s wrong he begins to speak.

“Your One is your other half. The one that Mahal put here to complete you. To find your One is to find unending peace and happiness. Finding your One is finding home.” Something in your heart twists at Kilis words.

“That sounds wonderful.” You whisper, staring at Kili. It feels like the world has stopped as the two of you stare at each other. Without thinking you both start to lean in. Your faces are inches apart when the book slips out of your lap and slams closed on the floor jolting you out of the moment. You awkwardly clear your throat while Kili looks like he’s trying to burn the book with his glare. “I umm I mean uhh yo-you said you brought lunch right? I don’t think I have any more questions so why don’t we eat?” Kili nods and quickly moves to set up the food on a nearby table.

The two of you eat in silence for a while before Kili clears his throat. “So, it’s been half a year. What do you think of Erebor?” He asks

“It’s nothing like what I imagined. The way dwarves live is so different from elves, but still so beautiful. It was odd at first to be around so many people like me, I mean I was the only dwarf I know for most of my life…” you trail off as you reflect on just how different the Lonely Mountain is from Greenwood and how much your life has changed.

“I’m uhhh I’m glad your not feeling ill anymore. I know how worried you were about it for the first few months.” He says after a moment.

“Ohhh ri-right. Yeah I’m feeling much better.” You try to smile but you think you probably look like you’re dying. Truth be told the odd feelings never went away, but as time went on they turned into a feeling of calm and safety so you stopped saying anything. “Kili, can I ask you a question?”

“Anything.” He says immediately with a big smile.

“Have you found your One? Do you know what it feels like?” His smile grows impossibly wider at your words.

“I have. It felt like my insides were exploding in the best way. I couldn’t breathe. It was like I hadn’t really been alive until then. In that first moment I knew that they have my heart in their hand and all I wanted to do was let them know.” His eyes have a look in them that you’ve never seen before. “I met them months ago and it still feels the exact same every time I see them.” Something in you shifts in a way that makes you feel like you’ve been stabbed in the chest. You look away from Kili and try to compose yourself.

“That’s wonderful.” You finally get out. As you bring your eyes back to Kili you can see the battle being waged behind his eyes. He takes a deep breath and nods to himself

“I’d really love for you to meet them.” Those words plunge the knife deeper into your chest.

“Who am I to say no to a prince of Erebor?” You try to laugh but it tastes bitter in your mouth.

“Tonight after dinner. Meet me in my room.” He stands so quickly it flings his chair back. Your eyes widen in surprise and all you can do is nod. “Great! I’ll see you then!” Without another word Kili is out the door and down the hall.

Kili has his One. This is something you should be happy about. He just told you how wonderful having your One is. So why does thinking about it make you wish you’d never come to Erebor?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner comes and goes far too fast for your liking and now you find yourself outside Kilis room. You debate running away to your room and never coming out, but Kili is your friend and he was so excited for you to meet them. You can’t ditch him. With that thought you knock on his door. “Come in!” You can hear the excitement in his voice.

You slowly push the door open and find Kili in the middle of his room. Alone. “Have I come too early?” You ask as you continue to look around the room for another person. Kili says nothing and sets to the side to reveal something behind him covered in a sheet. He wordlessly motions for you to move the sheet. “Kili if this is another of you and Filis pranks I will snitch to your mother.” You warn as you shakily reach out for the sheet. As you pull it away you close your eyes and flinch back moving your hands to cover your face. After a moment of nothing you open your eyes a see a full length mirror.

“Meet my One.” Kili says softly. You step closer to the mirror confused.

“Is this a dwarf thing I don’t know about?” Kili laughs. “Why are you laughing? What’s going on Kili?”

“It’s you. Your my One. I’ve known it since the moment I first saw you.” Your speech less for a moment before a huge isgh of relief leaves you.

“Oh thank Mahal I’m not sick!” You say as the feeling of dread you’d been carrying lifted. Kili shakes his head fondly.

“No you’re not sick. Just in love.” He has that look in his eyes again and you’re pretty sure yours mirror it.

“Just in love.” You repeat. Kili takes hold of you hand and places something in it. When you open your hand you see a small intricately designed bead in it.

“I made it in the weeks after we first met.”

“Kili are you asking to court me?” You tease.

“I’m asking you to marry me one day.” He corrects with a proud smile on his face. You take a seat on the chair by his desk.

“Well then get braiding.” You didn’t know someone could smile so big until you see the one on Kilis face. “I can’t wait to tell Legolas.” You sigh happily as Kili begins braiding.

When he’s done you examine the braid before pulling him into an excited kiss. “Just in love.” You murmur happily when you pull away. Kili kisses your forehead before leading you toward the door to his room.

“We have to tell Fi! And amad! And uncle!” He cheers as he pulls you out of the room and towards his brothers. In that moment you decide that you love living in Erebor.

#reader insert #lotr x reader #the hobbit x reader #kili x reader #gn reader

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averytirednerd · 1 year ago

Text

About Episodes 7 and 8...MASSIVE SPOILERS!!

Initial thoughts (because if I talk about EVERYTHING right now you'll be here for at least half an hour)...

WHAT THE HELL?!

I mean I loved getting to watch the season finale, don't get me wrong. But I have just as many grievances as things I loved about it and also SO MUCH happened?!?!?!

Charlie: Loved getting to see her be all demon-y, I've been waiting all season. Also loved her and the cannibals (especially Rosie!!!). So glad she got to work w/ Luci to protect the hotel <333 She and Vaggie are adorable too.

Vaggie: I really enjoyed watching her and Carmilla's song, that was cool. Protecting her girlfriend, very cute. I liked seeing her and Lute have that little face-off.

Husk: Sad that we didn't get to see much of him, but I get it. His interactions with the others were sweet (especially Angel). I loved the one line he got to sing on his own in that last song of episode 8. 😍

Angel: Ngl I am very glad he wasn't the one to die. It would've been a fun little "oh crap" moment but I really didn't want to be right. He's still got business down there. His interactions with the others here are everything to me, and he's just grown so much and aaaaaa. It's lovely to see! I love him more and more with every episode.

Niffty: YOU GO, GIRL!!!! Love to see the stabbing. I also really loved the...one line Nifty got. Kimiko Glenn's voice is a gift, I freaked out over getting to hear one line. Anyway. not much else to say other than I definitely thought it was Alastor doing a big "oh look, I'm alive!" thing when Adam got stabbed, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Cherri Bomb/Sir P: I was surprised, to say the least, when Cherri and Sir P had that little moment. Glad they got it before he went and DIED. Cherri is such a good friend to Angel and she's great. Now, onto Sir P...WOW, OKAY. Glad we know Charlie's plan isn't completely stupid. Wonder how Sera's gonna react to him being there now, lol.

The Vees: FIRST OFF, VOX?????? "This is better than sex!" 💀💀💀 Truly was not expecting to see as much of the Vees as we did. Not complaining though. It was...interesting...to say the least, watching Vox get as excited as he did over the prospect of Al dying (still as obsessed as ever, fr). Not at all surprised to see Val and Vox have a thing going, I figured from the interactions we've seen so far. Them dancing together was silly, them practically making out was less so 😃. Also, gotta continue the love for Velvette--putting up with these two idiots must take a lot. Also also, her HAIR! HER HAIR!! EEEEE

Lucifer: I reallllyyyyyy enjoyed seeing Luci make a return to help Charlie, even if it was in one of those "last-minute saves" that I usually hate. Idk, makes sense here I guess because he's probably always watching over Charlie some way. ALSO LUCI AND CHARLIE GOING ALL DEMON-Y TOGETHER WAS <33333333 I really loved him starting off that last song in episode 8, and telling Charlie that he believes in her. It was so sweet. I love Luci sm, hoping he becomes a more integral part of the crew in s2.

Adam/Lute/Lilith: HAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE??? Lute got what she deserved with the whole...arm thing. ALSO WHAT--JUST GONNA CASUALLY DROP LILITH IN HERE NOW? Sure, fine, whatever, totally cool. Not sure how to feel about Lilith atm so moving on. I dunno why I was so shocked upon seeing Adam's face. I guess I expected him to...not look as good as he does? Also so upset that he broke Al's staff. How rude. He sucks.

Rosie: Not how I expected her to sound, but I'm most certainly not disappointed. I don't have much to say other than I loved literally everything about her. No complaints--at least not yet ig, need to go back and rewatch the episodes critically. Her and Alastor is everything to me, and seeing them dance was <333333 I cannot express my excitement over it enough.

Alastor: Saved him for last because yes. If I wasn't limiting myself to a short paragraph for each, I'd be writing a whole essay just about Al, I swear....CANNOT believe what just happened omg. Not only did we get to see silly Al in episode 7, but we got to see scary (and scared) Al in episode 8. He's really freaking out, it's so entertaining! I'm so glad it wasn't him who died, I started getting a bit worried for a minute there....His relationship with Rosie is aaaaa, best of besties fr. Fighting Adam scene was glorious. Making Vox act like an idiot even when not trying was funny to watch (Vox's obsession with this guy is so silly). Him retreating sure was a move, but I'm glad he didn't get all stubborn and end up dying. Him ranting a bit in his section of the final song was so...AAAAAAA. Man is so scared, he looks stressed as can be. I need to see Alastor just have an external breakdown because he honestly feels like he's on the verge of one. 💀

Stopping for now before I go on a bigger rant than I already have. To those who read all this, I'm so sorry pfft. Feel free to leave a comment if there's something you wanna discuss (or, better yet, send one of those ask thingies. I do not have comments figured out yet...)

Anyway, have a good one <3

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borathae · 2 years ago

Text

↳ Index [Chapter 35 - Holidays]

Warnings: big sad but also big mad, magical torture, twisted mind games, the crazy continues, Jimin is a sweetheart, Tae honestly deserves a break poor boy, the grief is strong in this one, also there is one scene in this chapter where she tries to eat but gets really revolted by the food and almost throws up from it, I wanted to put a warning for that too because I don’t want to trigger anyone who struggles with an ED or is recovering from one, if you want to skip this scene it begins at the breakfast scene & ends once Tae talks about “his plans”

Wordcount: 11.3k

a/n: i wanted to give joon a redemption arch at one point but tbfh he pissed me off sm in that chapter now i just wanna fight him ahhaha

“Are you still working on the painting?” he asks.

Taehyung lifts his head from the painting. His eyes light up.

“Jiminie! You’re back”, he greets him and stands up to get to him. He wipes his dirtied hands on his pants, “how was the drive?”

“Bad. I outdrove a storm, it’ll come soon”, Jimin says and leans in for a chaste kiss on the lips. Taehyung, however, pulls him close again, hugging him tightly.

“I missed you so much”, he murmurs into the crook of Jimin’s neck, inhaling deeply afterwards to remind his heart how he smells. Orange blossoms and cold air. The once potent scent of blood wasn’t lingering on Jimin anymore these days, now that Namjoon doesn’t regularly force him to hunt humans for fun. Taehyung thinks that Jimin smells so much better these days.

Jimin ruffles the back of Taehyung’s hair, “I missed you too, Tete.”

Taehyung ends the hug by stepping back and running his palms over Jimin’s cheeks in a soft caress.

“You look handsome.”

Jimin smiles, “thanks and you look…” he runs his eyes up and down Taehyung’s features, “...exhausted.”

Taehyung lowers his eyes, playing with his hair.

“I haven’t slept well lately. ___ wakes up crying out for Yoongi a lot. I am scared to leave her alone, so I stay by her side most nights. I can’t fall asleep because her racing pulse keeps me awake.”

“I see. I’m sorry.”

“I do it gladly. I do not want her to suffer alone.”

“Mhm”, Jimin hums and nods his head, “where is she, Tete?”

“The last I saw of her, she went to Yoongi’s wing.”

“Mhm, of course”, Jimin says and turns his back to Taehyung, “thanks. I’ll talk to her.”

“Mimi?”

“Yes?”

“What did she tell you?”

Jimin’s face turns rather stoic. He studies Taehyung’s features and sighs.

“I’ll tell you later. Yeah?”

“Yes”, Taehyung says and presses out a small, “fuck.”

Jimin leaves Taehyung’s wing and hurries downstairs.

“Jimin, hey.”

He meets Jungkook in the entrance hall. The younger vampire was in the middle of leaving his wing to go to the ballroom gym for a workout. Jungkook works out obsessively these days. It’s the only thing which keeps thoughts from forming in his mind. When he pushes himself to the point where he kneels on the floor retching and gagging from exhaustion, he can’t hurt. He can’t miss Yoongi that way. He can’t worry for his sire and he can’t worry for you slowly killing yourself in an attempt to save your shared love.

It would have been his third workout today and he planned on going for a fourth one later.

“Hey, Kook”, Jimin greets him.

“Since when are you back?” Jungkook asks, jogging up to Jimin.

“I just arrived.”

“I see. What did she say?”

Jimin tightens his jaw and places his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. He gives him a tight squeeze.

“We should look for ___ first”, he says.

“Is it that bad?”

“Let’s just look for her”, Jimin dismisses him and slides his hand to Jungkook’s wrist. He holds it gently, tugging at it, “come. Tae said she’s in Yoongi’s wing.”

Jungkook follows him with a painful lump in his throat.

“Please tell me. What did she say?”

“We’re almost there.”

“Oh god, it’s bad isn’t it?”

Jimin stays silent. He shoves the heavy door open and leads Jungkook inside. The door to Yoongi’s bedroom is open. Lights shine into the hallways. The two vampires quicken their steps.

Like always, you are sitting by the bed hunched over and with inaudible whispers leaving your lips. They aren’t really inaudible to the sensitive ears of vampires however.

Jungkook and Jimin can hear fractions of “we gotta make sure your nails aren’t too long” and “is the pressure of the file okay for you, my love?”

There are new flowers on the bedside table. The old bouquet is discarded on the floor. It looks sad and rotten.

New fractions reach their ears. You are putting cream on Yoongi’s hand as you speak, “there we go, now your skin won’t crack in the dry air.”

Jimin and Jungkook look at each other, mirroring the sadness and pity to feel for the situation. Even now you are making sure that Yoongi is well taken care of. You look so tired and exhausted and yet here you are, making sure that he feels comfortable.

You wiggle your fingers between Yoongi’s and squeeze his hand gently. They can hear how you inhale in a shaky sniffle.

“How’s that, my love?” you whisper, swaying your hands from side to side, “it’s getting so cold these days that we have to keep the heaters running. It’s so hard to keep the castle warm”, you say and laugh painfully, guiding his hand to your cheek. You rub your face on it slowly, “you are so cold. Oh my love, you are so cold. You should be warm. Why are you so cold?”

“___?” Jungkook tries quietly, fighting back tears. He can’t bear to watch you. It breaks his heart into a million pieces.

You flinch and for just a second you look out of breath. For only a second however and then you straighten your back and turn. Your eyes are red and glassy, your lips are pressed into a thin line. For only a second because then your eyes fall onto Jimin and they light up.

You place Yoongi’s hand down as gently as possible and get to your feet. You run to him, welcoming him by grabbing both his upper arms.

“And? What did she say?” you begin shaking him, “what did Thea say? Can she help? Does she know what to do? Can she help Yoongi? Tell me. T-talk to me.”

Jimin takes your hands and lowers them.

“___ I-”

“Tell me!” you stress, squeezing his hands. Your eyes are widened and your pupils dilated.

“She said that she never heard of such a spell and that she has no idea what to do.”

“No”, you press out, shaking your head vigorously, “no, you’re fucking lying. No. No! No don’t lie to me. No, she knows what to do.”

“___”, Jungkook presses out with tears in his eyes and reaches for you. His shaking fingers close around your arms, his face contorts in pain. He pulls you into a hug and sobs into your neck miserably while you still stare at Jimin with widened eyes.

“You’re lying. She didn’t tell you that.”

“I’m sorry she did”, Jimin whispers.

And while Jungkook’s sobs grow in volume, you continue to shake your head. Your face is frozen, showing no ounce of emotion even if your scent is soaked in heartbreak and disappointment.

“Then, then she didn’t look properly. Call her and tell her to look again.”

“___ I don’t think this is going to help.”

“Call her!”

“No”, Jimin throws back, “we had every single witch in Paris involved in finding a cure. Maël called every alpha he knew and none could help. A call won’t do anything.”

“Oh.”

You look away.

Jungkook squeezes you and sobs your name. His body is shaking from how terribly he cries.

You blink for the first time since they entered the room. There are still no tears escaping your eyes.

“Okay”, you say, “okay, that’s okay. Fine. Then I’ll uhm”, you seem lost for a second. Jimin can see it in your eyes, “I’ll just…just…uhm”, you look away, “the potions! Yeah I’ll, I’ll just make potions. Yes, that’s what I’ll do”, you say and without looking at him once, wiggle yourself out of Jungkook’s hug.

You look over your shoulder at Yoongi. Both Jungkook and Jimin can actually hear how one of your heartstring breaks. It sounded painful. Both their chest ached because of it.

“I’ll just do that”, you whisper and turn to leave without looking at them. They can see how your hand lifts to wipe at your eyes when you are by the door and then you must hide yourself with magic because they can’t hear you anymore.

Jungkook turns to Jimin. The older vampire studies his tearstained face. Jungkook’s lips turn downwards and begin to tremble.

“Do you want a hug?”

“Yeah”, Jungkook whimpers and falls into Jimin’s open arms.

You will be gone for two days. No attempt to find or contact you will be successful. You will return without explanations, you will silently eat the food they prepare and then you will lock yourself in the library again. The answer to where you had been and what you had done won’t ever leave your lips.

They honk their car as they arrive. You can hear it from the study. It’s a surprise that they arrived so early. The snow storm is at its worst today. It was better yesterday, but is awful today.

You can hear them talk outside. You already hate what will follow. You don’t want to be disturbed. You can’t stop. Not now. You are almost finished with the chapter.

A knock on the door lets you know that your worst nightmare is becoming reality. The door opening makes it real. You lower your head to the book. You are almost finished. Why did they have to come now?

“Happy Holidays”, Seokjin is the one to speak first, walking into the room in big steps.

Emma follows with a bouquet made out of conifer tree branches and rose hips. The smell disgusts you. It smells good. Why would they bring you something good?

“Happy Holidays ___”, Emma singsongs only to get stopped by Seokjin with a hand on her shoulder. They exchange a knowing look.

“Hey”, you dismiss them with a flick of your wrist. You flip the page.

“The uhm, drive was smoother than we thought it would be”, Seokjin says.

You don’t answer him, flipping the pages and scribbling something into your papers. You won’t be able to decipher it ever again because of your cramping hand messing up the letters.

“How are you doing?” Seokjin asks.

“Good.”

“Yeah? You seem…”

You lift your eyes in warning.

“…tired”, Seokjin says and smiles worriedly, “did you work a lot today?”

You look at the watch. Well fuck. It’s ten past nine already. You started work seventeen hours ago. And you didn’t get anything? No new spells? No new revelations? Nothing? Fuck. You rip the page at its corner as you flip it angrily. The words are so blurry in your eyes, but you blink it away.

“I didn’t. I only just started”, you murmur, forgetting all about them in the room. At least you hope to do so.

“Well uhm”, Seokjin touches the side of his neck in slight helplessness, “we are planning to unpack and then have dinner with the others. Can we count you in?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll join you”, you dismiss him, not meaning a word of it.

Emma and Seokjin exchange a look.

“Well then, we’ll see each other soon?”

“Mhm yeah.”

They leave the room and won’t see you for the rest of the evening. You forget about them the moment the door closes and won’t think of them again. You will fall asleep on your desk that night until you wake again four hours later and start your search anew.

The air is warm and smells of roses. The sound of a fountain is filling your ears. You are in the greenhouse. Somewhere a piano is playing. You know the melody instantly. It is the melody Yoongi used to accompany the sweet words in his notebook. You remember when he sang them to you quietly and shyly in the dim and calm morning when people were waking up from the witches’ party. It was the morning you and Yoongi were so incredibly drunk at Meredith’s place. You and Yoongi just finished loving each other and were talking in bed about the comfort of being with each other when Yoongi had an idea. He decided to hurry downstairs to get his guitar and then he drunkenly performed Your Song in nothing but his long shirt. He was so endearing back then. The melody is coming from outside. Right behind those golden doors. You set off to run the moment you realise what was happening.

You throw yourself against the golden doors, stumbling through them and right into his wing. Your mind doesn’t take in the illogicality of the layout. You are just happy to finally see him again. The light bulbs are changed. It is finally bright in here. The melody is so loud in your ears.

“My prince!” you call out, crying tears of happiness, “my prince, you’re awake!”

The music room is open. You stumble into it. The lights are on, illuminating him from behind. His skin is golden in life.

“Yoongi!”

He lifts his head.

The music stops.

His eyes soften and his lips curl into a warm smile.

“You’re finally here. I was waiting for you”, he says.

You don’t understand what he means by that, but you don’t want to ask. Yoongi is back. He is finally back.

“Yoongi, my beloved Yoongi”, you press out and barely manage to get to him. Blinded by your tears and limps overtaken by happiness, all you want to do is break down and cry for hours, “you are finally back.”

Yoongi reaches for you, “come here”, he says, opening his arms for you. His fingers are so close to intertwining with yours. So close.

“My love I-”

Darkness drags him away within a second. Strong, invisible hands drag you into the opposite direction of wherever he loses himself in. You screech his name, but too late. The hands are dragging you away and Yoongi disappears in darkness.

You flinch awake.

“No!” you scream, lifting your arm to throw whoever touched you across the room.

“It’s me. It’s just me”, Taehyung blurts out, stumbling back quickly.

“Taehyung”, you lower your arm, “no. No, why would you wake me? I didn’t- for once I- for once I didn’t feel anything.”

“You, you didn’t?” Taehyung’s voice breaks in heartbreak, “darling, you just passed out in the middle of the hallway. W-what do you mean you, you didn’t feel- oh god”, Taehyung bites down on his tongue. He is so heartbroken. He thought that loosing Jimin will be the most pain he could ever feel, but watching you destroy yourself like that hurts just as much. He was on his way to your wing when he saw your passed out form lying lifelessly in the middle of the hallway. Your heart was barely beating and your lungs barely took in air. And so he shook you and begged you until you finally flinched awake.

“What are you talking about?” you hiss, “I was with Yoongi for once. Why would you wake me?”

Taehyung shakes his head, “no you weren’t. You were dying. Your heartbeat was barely there.”

“No I was- he was- no I was with him”, you sit up, “holy fuck, I was with him.”

“No, you weren’t! Whatever you saw was death reaching out for you.”

“Holy shit”, you can’t even hear what Taehyung is telling you, “shit, I wasted so much time. I need to get back to my research”, you say, peeling yourself up even if everything hurts.

“Please don’t go”, Taehyung begs, holding you by your shoulders. You don’t notice it, but he is the only reason why you are even standing in the first place.

“I need to get to the library. Yeah, I think I’ll go now. The storm’s not that bad”, you talk to yourself, eyes already glued to the far, far away front door.

“No, you need to stay here please”, Taehyung begs, stepping to the side as you are trying to flee. He blocks your way like that.

“Taehyung let me pass. I’m totally fine.”

“No, you are not. You are going to actually die if you go out into this storm.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll keep myself warm with my magic.”

“You can barely even keep yourself standing. No amount of magic could help you tonight.”

“Taehyung, get out of my fucking way. The library closes in an hour and I need to get the books. Tonight.”

“They will still be there tomorrow.”

“I have to get them tonight, Kim Taehyung. Tonight.”

Taehyung doesn’t know what hurts more. Being addressed by his full name by someone who once called him the sweetest nicknames or knowing that you still continue breaking yourself even if your body already showed you that it was at its limits.

“Please stay with me”, he begs with his voice frail in agony.

“Let go of me, I’m not saying it again.”

“Oh god”, Taehyung croaks and feels as tears fill his eyes, “I’m begging you, just stay with me. Please.”

With a trembling sigh, you watch the tears roll down his cheeks. Clarity comes back to you. What are you doing? You can’t be angry at him. Not Taehyung. He doesn’t deserve it.

“Fine. I’ll stay”, you whisper, “but only if I can sleep in your bed tonight.”

“Yes, please”, he is still begging even now after you promised him to stay, “please, just stay close to me”, he pleads and picks you up to carry you to his wing.

You listen to him talk to Jimin that night. He isn’t aware that you are still awake.

“I can’t take much more, Jimin. She is destroying herself and I am watching helplessly. All I am trying to do fails. I am helpless. And it is breaking me into a million pieces”, Taehyung said that night and then sobbed in Jimin’s arms. You don’t witness when Jimin finally manages to calm him down as you passed out in pure exhaustion before that could happen.

You snap your fingers. The torches flicker on. The chains make a sound as he moves.

Your eyes are pinned to him, not breaking away. They are cold in hatred.

“Well fuck”, he lets out and laughs mockingly, shaking his head, “hello there, little one.”

You tighten your jaw.

“It’s a party upstairs, isn’t it?” he laughs mockingly, “why are you here? Did the others not want you partaking in the festivities?”

You tighten your jaw. It was the night of your winter holiday party tonight. Taehyung hired people to decorate the estate. Seokjin and Emma cooked dinner. They all bought presents for each other, currently celebrating in the big dining hall with the fireplace burning and a big tree loaded with decoration. They didn’t notice when you left. Dinner is almost done so Emma told the group. You should sing karaoke in the meantime so Hoseok suggested. It feels like mockery to you. Offensive mockery. How could they celebrate when your family wasn’t whole? How could they laugh and sing and dance when Yoongi wasn’t with you? When he was still sick? Their good mood felt like offensive mockery to you. And so you left. Finding yourself in the only place which didn’t make you angry. At least not for the same reasons. Looking at Namjoon fills you with true anger. And hatred. Such hatred.

“What? Did you come to bore me?” Namjoon challenges.

“Funny. How you still think that you can act like a fucking cunt when I clearly have the upper hand.”

Namjoon shows you a lopsided smile, “tell me how is your beloved doing? What was his name again? Ah yes. How is Yoongi doing?”

“Don’t fucking say his name! You know exactly how he is doing! You put him into the state he is in now!” you yell at him, painting victory onto his features. You understand. He has the upper hand. That’s what he wanted to show you with the question. By reacting that emotional you showed him how much power he still has over you.

“Of course. How terribly rude of me to forget”, Namjoon says and smirks gleefully, “so how is the search for a cure going?”

You want to scream at him again, but you shouldn’t. This is exactly what he wants to happen. You already gave him too much power. You bite down on your tongue and straighten your back.

“It’s going very well actually, thank you for asking”, you say as calmly as possible.

“Oh this is wonderful. The little piglet is trying to lie to me”, Namjoon scrunches his nose up in disgusted wonder.

You darken your gaze. He laughs upon watching it happening.

“Oh! I know something fun”, he says, widening his eyes, “let’s play a little game. I call it the guessing game. I guess why you are here and you yell at me. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Why are you the way you are?” you say, feeling so…disgusted. You can’t even explain it, but you do. He ignores your question.

“Now. I think that you are here because you are desperate. Desperate for answers as to why I did it”, he pouts, “why did I hurt poor, little Yoongi oh so very much?” he mocks your voice, trying to look as heartbroken as he can.

You clench your hands to fists. Namjoon soaks up the view with hungry eyes.

“And now you are wondering how you could hurt me. But you won’t and you want to know why, little one?” Namjoon steps closer until the chains stretch and his arms are lifted just slightly above his head, “because despite your wonderful hatred for me, you hope that I find it in myself to help you.”

You are very sure that he saw you react in surprise. He figured you out.

“Congratulations on finally realising that you are a witch. It must be exhausting having so much power and no one to guide you. So what better teacher is there than one of the very few, who was present when it was all created?” he runs his eyes up and down your body, “and given how your beloved is currently, well…busy and Yaeji hasn’t shown her face in two centuries, it leaves me”, he straightens up, finally showing you his real size proudly, “tadala.”

You want to hurt him. You really, really do. You want to make him feel the kind of pain you have to feel each and every fucking day.

“Now tell me how right I was. Go on tell me”, Namjoon insists.

“Given how you like to talk big already lets me know that you have no idea how to help me, so this right here was a waste of air”, you spit, turning to leave. If you stay any longer he will actually make you scream again.

“Oh? Ohohoho I hurt your pride”, he coos and laughs, “oh, I’m sorry. Did I step on your little toes, mhm?”

“What do you want?” you hiss, whipping back around to send him a deathly glare, “it’s not like being annoying is going to get you out of that cell.”

“Oh, but I don’t have to get out of this cell. Not when I’m in your little mind day in and out. I’m right where I want to be. Haunting your thoughts.”

You let out a breathy laugh, taking a step back in disbelief.

“What did I do to you? Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you, little one. I just love playing with you”, he says with innocent eyes, the kind which taunt you, “you can’t outsmart me, little one. I’ve been one step ahead of you ever since you started your little game of chase. I was in the shadows which kept you awake at night, I lingered in the silence when you thought yourself to be alone, every step you and your pathetic lover took, I already took before you. I am the goddamn master of games and I love to play”, he smiles, “I could do this all day.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m done playing your games. Either you tell me how to get Yoongi out of this mess or I’m leaving again.”

“Now that’s disappointing. Giving up so soon already?” his smile drops mechanically but the amused fire in his eyes stays, “I thought that you had more in you than that. Where is the fighter I love so much, mhm? The woman who clawed at the chair in fear but told her pathetic lover that it wasn’t his fault that he would rip her to shreds? Or the little girl who ran through the dark forest despite knowing that all the running in the world wouldn’t save her from death? Come on ___, give me a challenge.”

“Yeah? And despite all of that I’m still here. So where is the oh so skilful killer everyone sees you as, mhm? You couldn’t kill me all the times you tried. Sounds pretty pathetic to me.”

“But ___, I killed Yoongi.”

The second of victory you felt gets snuffed out and deep, painful hatred replaces it again.

Namjoon smiles brightly, showing you his teeth.

“Oh you are so much fun!” he exclaims and giggles, “you should see your face right now.”

“Fucking die!” you scream.

“Oh?” Namjoon lets out, widening his eyes in honest surprise as sharp pain courses through his head, “that’s interesting”, he laughs, “yes, that’s wonderful. Make my brain explode. How does it feel? How does it feel to hurt another person?”

“Shut up!” you yell, deepening your magic to the point where Namjoon bleeds out of his nose.

“Yes, give me everything. That’s it!” he exclaims, lips curling into a blissed grin. He writhes in pain, eyelids fluttering twice before he focuses his piercing gaze on you again, “it feels amazing doesn’t it? The power that comes with hurting another person is indescribable, isn’t it?”

“Be quiet, you disgust me so fucking much.”

“I disgust you? Ah ___ you are amazing”, he moans, throwing his head back and crying bloody tears, “I can feel it. I can feel my brain liquefying and fighting to heal. Oh it hurts so much”, he laughs, arching his back, “this is wonderful. The power you have, oh the carnage we could cause together if only you’d accept me.”

“Oh my god, be quiet”, you screech, spilling angry tears. You broaden your magic to the rest of his body, thinking about boiling his insides.

Namjoon yelps up, tugging at the magical chains holding him hostage.

“I hate you so much. I want you to die!”

“Yes, sweet girl yes!” Namjoon’s voice is muffled by the blood spilling out of his mouth, “hate me. Loathe me. Fucking crave my death! This is how it starts”, he growls, bloodied eyes focused on you in mad pleasure, “this is how it fucking starts”, he laughs and moans, knees buckling in weakness now that you are burning his lungs, “how I want you”, he chokes out, eyes focused on your face, “I could make you my equal. Together we could rule this world! He made you his princess? I could make you my queen!” he roars, “beautiful and twisted and dark as the night. My queen of carnage and suffering! Accept me ___!”

“Shut up!” you scream.

He starts gasping and coughing, unable to speak and you love it. You love that he doesn’t talk back anymore, finding comfort in the way he writhes in fight for air. You love that for just a second you have power over him. You are holding your hand over the flames of his life and with just one movement you could suffocate it and him right with it. You are the master of this game and you decide how it ends.

Namjoon lifts his eyes and smiles in understanding.

You stumble back. Your magic stops.

Namjoon gasps, growing big again now that pain isn’t dragging him down anymore.

“Yes!” he screams at you, laughing menacingly, “yes sweet girl yes! This was marvellous! Now tell me! Tell me how wonderful it felt to hold my life in your hands! Tell me!”

“Shut up!”

“Tell me how it felt to watch my creations die for your experiments. I bet you must have been so heartbroken about your failure and yet deep down it felt wonderful to know that you rid the earth of one more vermin. Admit it.”

“I’m not admitting anything! I hated it.”

“Don’t lie to me, I can sense when you do!”

“Well you are wrong. I hated every second of it.”

“Why are you lying? Why are you pretending as if you didn’t love it?”

“Because I didn’t!”

“Yes you did! Pain and death. Those things fuel you, admit it!”

“There is nothing to admit. If you hadn’t hurt Yoongi, I would have never turned into who I have to be.”

“Have to be?” Namjoon laughs, “you have to be nothing. You decided to let your pathetic grief turn you into an artist.”

“An artist?”

“Art, sweet girl. Pain, death, misery. It’s the most beautiful art a person can create. Oh to watch a person go from laughably confident to desperately pleading until heartbroken acceptance washes over them as they finally realise that death is imminent”, Namjoon pauses to writhe in pleasure, “it’s the most magnificent artwork one can create and you?” he gives you a lopsided smile, “you have potential for greatness.”

“You are disgusting.”

“Another lie.”

“I’m not lying! Stop it! I’m not lying!” you scream even if that makes him laugh.

“Of course you are. Lying to me, yourself, your friends. You pretend to be the good girl of the past, but you and I both know that you have long become an image of me.”

“No, I haven’t!”

“Of course you have, that is why you get off on killing my creations.”

“I’m not getting off on it.”

"Yes, you are. You love it. You love it so very much.”

“No, you are lying! You, you are saying all of that because you don’t know what else to say.”

“You loved it!” he yells at you, “admit it, little one. You loved it!”

“Yes! Yes, I fucking loved it!” you scream at him, stepping so close that you can smell the toxic stench of his blood, “each and every time I watched another one of your ugly rats die I fucking loved it! I can’t kill you, but at least I can rid the earth of your disgusting little creations and find comfort in the fact that one day you will be the only one left and then you will know that you have finally lost!”

Namjoon smiles, eyes flitting to your lips.

“See?” he rasps, “it wasn’t that hard to admit, was it?”

You stumble back with your heart aching in your chest. You touch your chest, feeling hot tears roll down your cheeks.

“Oh?” Namjoon watches it happening and pulls a grimace of faux worry, “how does he always say? Ah yes! Don’t cry, my princess.”

“Be quiet! Please!” you try to scream at him, but you end up sobbing, “I hate you! Die! Die! Die!” you screech, using every single painful spell you can think of to make him feel what you feel.

“Urgh”, Namjoon lets out, folding in on himself from the pain.

“Die! I hate you so much! You ruined everything!” you yell, kicking his stomach as your magic continues to distort his insides.

Namjoon groans, fighting the chains fruitlessly. The Unbreaking Shackles keep him from winning.

“Yes! Feel the pain! It hurts so much doesn’t it? Feel it!” you screech with mania in your eyes.

“What are you doing?”

You turn upon hearing the shocked voice behind you. Jimin is standing in the threshold, widened eyes racing between you and Namjoon’s writhing body.

“What are you doing here?” you throw back, stumbling back from Namjoon.

“I heard screaming so I thought I’d check it out. What the hell are you doing?”

“Cooking his intestines”, you pant and wheeze, squeezing the tears out of eyes.

“Uuuh…”

You whip around to hit Namjoon’s arm, “shut the fuck up! Stop moaning, you ugly cunt!” you yell at him.

“Impressive, but also what the fuck?” Jimin says.

“What?” you challenge him, “do you have pity for that monster?”

“N-no but still.”

“Urgh, you just ruined this moment. It’s no fun anymore”, you grumble, stopping the spell with a snap of your fingers.

Namjoon groans, throwing up black goo everywhere. He is heaving for air afterwards, body tangling from the chains weakly. You send him one last deathly glare and then turn to stomp out of the room. The torches die out, engulfing the room in pitch black darkness. You bump shoulders with Jimin as you pass him, making him stumble because he didn’t expect it even if he is able to see in the dark.

He catches himself soon enough, hurrying after you.

“You’re really fucking weird lately. Since when are you one for torture?”

“You don’t get to tell me what I can or can’t do”, you hiss, almost throwing the door closed on him if he hadn’t caught it before that could happen. Jimin slips into the dark first prison, eyes glued to the back of your head.

“I never said that, but I can still tell you that you’re different.”

“Thanks, losing your boyfriend does that to you.”

“Yeah well, not all is lost. You still have the others and they are waiting for you upstairs.”

“Let them wait.”

The prison door falls closed behind Jimin. Your initial plan was to take the path to your left and disappear in the tunnels, but you can’t do that now with Jimin tailing you like an annoying shadow. So you take the path to your right, clenching your jaw because your plans were all ruined.

“Where are you going now?”

“Away.”

“Are you aware that we made dinner?”

“So? I told you that I’ll eat later.”

“Why not now?”

“Because I’m not hungry.”

“Yeah you are. I can smell it.”

You scoff and ignore him.

“___”, Jimin says loudly.

You keep walking.

“___ hey!”

You keep walking.

Jimin appears in front of you.

“I’m fucking talking to you.”

“Yeah, sadly.”

“You’re not fucking funny when you’re like this”, Jimin hisses, “get a grip, for real.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Why? So you can go around torturing people again?”

“Urgh”, you growl angrily, thinking of someplace else. You disappear. Or so you think as seconds later, Jimin stumbles into your body after getting dragged with you through the portal.

“What are you doing?” you hiss, taking a step back.

“Oh god”, Jimin groans and bends forward to gag loudly, “I’m gonna be sick urgh”, he retches, holding his own stomach.

“Why did you touch me? I wanted to be alone.”

Jimin lifts his finger, signalling you to give him a moment. He gulps, taking a deep breath afterwards.

“I fucking hate portals”, he murmurs and shudders, “urgh that was the worst.”

“That’s what you get for grabbing me like that.”

“Grabbing you like that? Excuse me, I was merely trying to get you to stay.”

“Well I didn’t want to stay. I wanted to be alone.”

“Yeah. I can see that”, Jimin says, looking around himself.

You are in the middle of the forest, surrounded by snowy conifer trees and leafless scrubs.

“It’s your fault. I was trying to get to the lake, but you interrupted my signals”, you say, stomping off into the direction of the estate. At least you hope that this is where it is.

“Your signals?” Jimin follows, “what? Like a GPS?”

“Basically.”

He snorts, “well, I’m sorry for messing up your magical GPS. It won’t happen again.”

“Tch.”

Jimin dodges a low hanging branch. A little bit of snow drips onto his shoulder because of it.

“Where are you going?” he asks you.

“Back. It’s cold.”

“Exactly. Couldn’t you have teleported us to somewhere warmer?”

“Be quiet.”

Jimin watches you fight off some shrubs. You stomp off confidently once you won.

“___, where are you going?” he calls after you.

“The estate obviously.”

“___!”

You ignore his call. He is so annoying.

“___!”

“What?” you whip around.

“The estate’s this way”, Jimin says, pointing over his shoulder.

You huff out air, stomping into the direction of where he is pointing. You avoid his eyes, not wanting him to know that you were embarrassed by your mistake.

Jimin follows you. On any other day he would have teased you about your mistake, but not today. You look tired and stressed and, quite frankly, broken by the world and Jimin knows better than to tease you. You aren’t yourself, so making mistakes was prone to happen.

“Really quick question. Why aren’t you opening another portal?” he asks you. He isn’t cold, but can see that you are shivering.

“Because it’s not that easy. My magic needs time to charge up again.”

“Well, maybe slow down and you’ll have more energy.”

“I can’t. I’ve already wasted so much time. I wanted to read the book today. Yeah, the one book. Stupid idea. Why did I teleport? I have to read the book.”

“___”, Jimin tries, taking your hand.

“What?” you hiss at him, letting him pull you back closer to him.

He takes off his jumper.

“The fuck are you doing?” you ask him, running your eyes up and down his exposed torso, “you’re stripping? Now?”

“Here”, Jimin says, pushing the jumper against your chest, “put it on, you’re shivering.”

“Oh, uhm”, you eye the blue sweater then his face. He seems determined to give it to you. “Thanks”, you mumble, accepting the jumper to pull it over your head. You feel warmer instantly.

“Sure.”

Jimin sets off, lifting his feet high to manoeuvre through the high snow successfully. You follow him. He looks unaffected by the cold.

“Are you sure that this is the way back?”

“Yes, I can hear the music coming from there. Tae’s playing the violin. Not like you care.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what I meant”, Jimin says, sneaking a glance your way. At least you are walking normally instead of running like a stressed deer. “I’m going to tell you the same thing you told me all those months ago. Tae loves you, so stop being an asshole to him.”

“I’m not being an asshole, the fuck?”

“Yeah you are. You think your whole entire I gotta save the world no matter what act doesn’t hurt him?”

“I’m not- this is not an act. I have to save Yoongi, don’t you get it?”

“I do, oh trust me, I do. If Tae was the one in a magical coma, I’d move heaven and hell to get him back, but you’re losing yourself and with it you are hurting Tae.”

“Tae understands that I have to do it. He’s helping me, isn’t he?”

“He’s only helping you because he’s scared that if he didn’t, you’d work yourself to death”, Jimin hisses with his voice slightly raised, “can you just for once pull your stubborn head outta your ass and think? You were so good at seeing things from other people’s perspective in the past. Where’s that empathy now?”

“Don’t…” you have to gulp, “don’t say that.”

Jimin pauses upon hearing the honest and utter hurt in your voice. He stops while you continue walking.

“Hey ___” he runs after you.

“I have empathy. I, I care for other people. I care. I do care. I care”, you are lost in repeating the same sentence over and over again, “I care. I care. I, I do care. I-I’m not- I’m not like him. I care.”

“Hey”, he tries again, touching your hand.

You flinch, looking scared for just a second before anger replaces it.

“Leave me alone”, you hiss, moving your hand away.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“As if you cared.”

“I do. I care”, Jimin insists and takes a cautious step closer, “I care.”

The honesty in his voice gives you enough reassurance that whatever you said, he will take seriously. And so you speak.

“He said that I’m turning into him. And, and that he killed-”, you can’t continue, “-I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“He lied”, Jimin says, “you are neither turning into him nor did he kill Yoongi. He lied.”

“No, he knew everything I wanted to say and, and why I visited him in the first place and, and he knew that I lied when I said that, that,”, you look at Jimin, remembering that he had no idea about what you have been doing in the tunnels, “it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does”, Jimin says, placing his hand on your upper arm, “Namjoon is abusive and manipulative. He will find the stuff which upsets you the most and he will use it against you until you feel like screaming. Whatever he said to you was nothing but his fucked up way of abusing you emotionally.”

“But he was right. In some parts he was right”, you whisper shakily, “when I hurt him I, I felt victorious. I liked it, Jimin”, you whimper, “I liked it.”

“I mean. Who wouldn’t enjoy a good torturing session with him? I sure as hell know that I’d have a bloody blast if I ever got the chance to do all the things he did to me. But that doesn’t mean you are turning into him.”

“I don’t know.”

“___ believe me”, Jimin cups your face, “I know firsthand how it feels to come out of a conversation with Namjoon. He had his fangs in you the whole time and bullshitted the ever living shit out of you.”

You lower your head.

“But that’s nothing to be ashamed of”, he says, tilting your head up again. He gives you a comforting, empathetic smile, “you came out of that conversation. That’s all that matters.”

“Fuck”, you let out, feeling so incredibly weak, “I’m so goddamn tired”, you confess and with a gentle push, escape Jimin’s grasp.

He watches you continue your defeated walk back to the estate, jogging to catch up with you once you are just far enough away from him.

“You know, if you want to talk-“

“I don’t want to talk anymore”, you interrupt him, “I just wanna get back to the estate and read the damned book.”

“Or perhaps the book could wait and you want to join us for dinner?” Jimin suggests, earning himself a dark look from you, “fine. No more talking.”

The estate is just in sight. Maybe nothing more than eight centimetres of size in your eyes’ view and with its illuminated windows looking like golden dots against the otherwise grey canvas. The walk is still long. Too long. Ending at the same place and situation you have found yourself in for too many weeks. Hopelessness and impasses.

You never should have visited Namjoon. Why did you think that he would help you? That he would be willing to give you answers? You are such a stupid woman sometimes.

“You know that night Yoongi talked to me was actually the night I wanted to leave you guys.”

You sneak a glance at Jimin. There are flakes of snow in his raven hair. They look like stars on the night sky.

“Didn’t we agree on no talking?” you ask him.

“It’s a nice story. You want to hear it, trust me.”

“Fine, then tell me.”

“I was pissed. So goddamn fucking pissed at the fact that I was losing Tae to you guys”, he laughs at himself at that sentence.

“If this is gonna be a story about how you found redemption, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Just listen.”

“I am.”

“Yoongi came to my room that night. I was so pissed at first. Pissed and angry and, and…scared? Yeah, I guess I was really scared too. Because holy fuck, Yoongi’s in my room and I’m fucking alone with him, lost all my strength and I’d been provoking him ever since I returned, surely he was finally here to kill me.”

Jimin takes a deep breath.

“But he didn’t. He didn’t even yell at me. He just looked at me, then the suitcase I was packing and then he asked me what I was doing. So I told him that I was planning to leave because you all piss me off.” Jimin sneaks a glance at you, “sorry, I was being a dick.”

“It’s fine.”

He looks back at the trail.

“What happened next?” you ask quietly because you wanted to know more. Something you didn’t know about Yoongi yet. Something to keep him alive. Even if it just in stories.

“Nothing. He just looked at me. He looked at me for such a long time that I grew almost furious. Why was he looking at me? Does he want to turn me mad before hurting me? That’s what I thought. And I wanted to yell at him, but before I could, he talked. He walked to my bed, sat down at the edge of it and asked me why I treated Tae the way I did when I promised him love.”

Jimin’s breath shudders as he exhales, his hands close to fists.

“And I stared. I stared at him and I didn’t know what to say. And, and my chest ached so much because he asked me something so many people asked me before, but it was him who asked it. Yoongi.”

Jimin blinks rapidly.

“Maybe it doesn’t make any sense to you, but when he asked that question my behaviour with Tae became so painfully real to me. Yoongi never cared about Tae or me or our relationship. Well, at least he pretended not to care. But now he was sitting here in my room, on my bed, and he asked me such an important question. And, and everything ached so much because of it.”

He pauses for a moment. The snow crunches under your feet. You can feel its effect on your skin as it falls from the sky, but you stay cold to it.

“And I told him that I had no idea. I wanted to call him names and tell him to piss off, but I didn’t. I just spoke the truth. That I didn’t know why I treated him like I did. And Yoongi merely nodded his head and hummed and then he was silent again.”

He holds your hand to help you over a high heap of snow, holding your hand on the way down as well. He lets go afterwards, but the warmth of his touch still remained on your skin.

“And it frightened me so much that, that I continued to speak. I told him that I can only get Tae to stay with me if I acted the way I did and Yoongi scoffed and told me that suffocating him will one day end in his fondness for me to suffocate right with him. And he was so right and, and it pissed me off so much. So I called him an asshole and Yoongi looked at me and sighed as if he was disappointed in me.”

He scoffs in amusement.

“And that pissed me off even more, because I, I was being held responsible by Yoongi and that scared me so much. So I told him to stop being nosy and to piss off and Yoongi didn’t say anything, he let me finish my asshole rant. He nodded his head. And then there was silence again and I’m telling you by that point I wanted to cry because it felt like he was torturing me. He, he was supposed to come here to kill me, to be mean to me and to explode like he always did and now he was talking to me. Normally. Patiently. Respectfully. While I called him names. And it hurt so much because I felt so respected while being so disrespectful in return. And that hurt so much. And then he talked again. I remember it clearly.”

He looks at you. You stop. Jimin stops. The snowfall continues.

“He looked into my eyes and told me that despite his distaste for me, he understood why I acted the way I did. And that he was sorry for what Namjoon did to me.”

Jimin breaks eye contact, letting his eyes race over the endless sky. The snow hits his face, but he stays unaffected by it.

“And then he told me that it was my decision to leave, but shall I choose to stay, I could live with the knowledge that Namjoon will never get to me again because he was there to protect me, just like he was there to protect all of you guys.”

He sniffles.

“And then he said that he hoped that one day he and I could finally stop fighting because he doesn’t want my harm, he just wants me to heal from what I’ve been through.”

He listens to the small whimper you let out and feels himself become sad as well.

“He did tell me that I was acting like a big asshole at some point in that conversation, just so we’re clear. He didn’t lose all of his gruff”, he jokes in hopes of turning your whimper into a laugh.

It works. Partially. As it was of incredibly sad nature, just as your scent was soaked in it. So he tries to cheer you up by nudging you with his elbow. It elicits another chuckle and for your eyes to lock with his. Your smile fades out slowly, your eyes race between his’.

“Why did you tell me this?” you ask quietly.

“I don’t know. I just thought that maybe you wanted to know a story about him you didn’t know yet.”

An honest smile brushes your face just as quick as a breath of wind does a tree. Sad and aching yearning remains.

“I did”, your voice is barely present, “thank you, Jimin…I guess”, you lower your eyes, “I guess, I don’t know”, you whisper.

Jimin places his hand on your arm, making you look at him. His eyes carry understanding comradery.

“I miss him too”, he whispers, “you will get him back, I promise you.”

“I don’t know anymore.”

“Don’t think about what Namjoon said. He was the manipulative cunt he always is. You will reunite with Yoongi.”

“What if-“

“No ifs. There are no ifs. Only when”, he interrupts you, “call me a hopeless romantic, but from what I have learned from living for too many lifetimes, there are certain people meant to meet and be together. And you two are such people.”

“What, like soulmates?” you ask mockingly. There would have been a time in your life where such words would have melted you into a puddle of giddiness. But not anymore. Nothing can melt the iciness you feel each passing day. You just find mocking in the warmth.

“Call it however you want. But I know. I know that no matter where or when you guys would have been born, you would have always found each other.”

You listen. The thought hurts. That no matter how long or short it would have taken the two of you to find each other, you would have. It hurts so much because he isn’t here anymore.

“I just don’t…feel that anymore.”

“Oh be quiet”, Jimin says, giving your arm a squeeze, “I have known Yoongi for almost three centuries, but not once has someone managed to make him commit to more than just a quick fling, let alone turn his emotions on. But you did. Three thousand years and then you come along and make him feel. Feel so greatly that he is laughing and smiling and thinking about life. And if that isn’t proof enough that no matter what happens, the two of you will end up together, then I’ll be fucking damned.”

“I feel like it’s not possible anymore.”

“You may feel like it now, but that’s your exhausted brain talking. Listen to me. You two will dance in the greenhouse again and hug in the sitting room and, and do whatever cheesy shit you guys do in private. I know it.”

You don’t make a sound as the tears begin to fall. You just let it happen, sinking into yourself before Jimin lets you fall safely against his chest instead.

“I know it, ___, I know”, he whispers, holding you the entire time you cry that night outside in the noiseless snowfall.

Consciousness returns to you come morning. You didn’t go to bed after Jimin left you in your bedroom. You left for the library again. The book couldn’t wait. You must have fallen asleep.

You lift your head, flinching in surprise when you finally take in the shadow beside you. Taehyung flinches back, retreating his hand from shaking you by your shoulder.

“It’s only me”, he says, “please don’t hurt me.”

You blink in the bright room. Every inch of your body hurts. Your stomach aches in hunger. You didn’t eat dinner last night. Even if they tried to get you to eat some. You were too upset to feel appetite. The consequences show themselves in the form of a painful stomach cramp.

Taehyung watches you clasp your own stomach and listens to the painful groan you let out.

“Darling, do you want to eat breakfast?” he asks.

“I can’t eat breakfast. I wasted so much time. I need to get back to my research.”

Taehyung watches you as you scramble to your feet to get new books. He follows you. You manage to get as far as five steps and then your knees buckle in weakness. Taehyung circles you, placing his hands on your waist, holding you up that way.

“Eat something first, please”, he tries.

“I’ll do it later. Promise”, you dismiss him, pushing yourself past him.

“No”, Taehyung says and picks you up.

“Hey! What are you doing!? Let me down”, you gasp, growing limp over his shoulder in pure exhaustion.

“You are going to eat your cursed breakfast or so heavens help me.”

“Taehyung, please let me down. I can walk on my own.”

Taehyung does let you down. In the kitchen. Where the others are gathered around the table with a grim and worried expression.

“What are you guys doing here?” you ask them.

“We need to talk”, Seokjin says with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Okay?”

“You have to eat”, Jungkook says, pointing at the food presented on the table.

Taehyung pushes you down on a chair, placing himself beside you to take watch.

“We won’t leave this room until you ate”, Seokjin says sternly.

Leftovers from yesterday’s dinner are waiting for you. Right next to a plate of pancakes. The edges are slightly burned and someone drew a heart on them with chocolate syrup.

You lift your head, staring at Taehyung. His head is lowered, his gaze shy. He is even fumbling with his thumbs, gnawing on his lower lip.

“Did you cook that?” you ask him.

“Yes, I did and I worked very hard on them, so please eat them. And the leftovers, they taste so good. You have to try them. Please.”

With a trembling sigh, you look back at the pancakes. He did that for you, because he wanted you to feel better. They all did that for you, even if you were acting like a total bitch lately.

You pick up the cutlery and cut into the sweet cakes. They are fluffier inside than they may look outside. The first bite almost melts in your tongue from how delicious they are.

“And?” Taehyung asks insecurely.

“They’re really good. Thank you so much”, you whisper, feeling close to tears.

You are so stupid for visiting Namjoon last night. Now all you want to do is cry. You worked so hard to get over that phase and now it’s back. You hate this so much.

Hoseok places a cup of your favourite tea in front of you, sitting down afterwards. Seokjin and Emma join his side. Jungkook sits down opposite of them. Taehyung makes sure that the right amount of milk is in the tea, sitting down next to you.

“Thank you”, you say, tensing up when he places his hand on your arm most tenderly.

“Of course. I just want you to be healthy. You know that, don’t you? We all do.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m sorry, you guys. I know I should have stayed with you last night, but I just…couldn’t.”

“We know. Jimin told us everything once you went to bed”, Jungkook reassures you.

You sneak a glance at Jimin. He is sitting next to Jungkook, watching you eat with a stern yet compassionate expression.

“I see”, you whisper. You force yourself to take another bite of the pancakes. So they know you visited Namjoon. They know about what you did to him. You have to fight to swallow the food. It wants to leave you again, but you can’t let that happen. You are so hungry, you have to eat. “Those pancakes are really good”, you press out with a trembling voice, forcing another bite to stay in your mouth.

Taehyung cups the back of your head and pulls you into a soft forehead kiss. It stops some of that awful tension in your chest.

“Eat as much as you want, sweetest.”

“Mh-hm.”

Your gazes meet.

“I’m sorry”, you whisper, “I’m being a lot lately.”

“It’s okay, darling”, Taehyung assures you, giving you a soft smile. He caresses your elbow, “we’ll figure it out together.”

“Yes, we will. Thank you”, you say, leaning closer for another forehead kiss.

One Taehyung retorts happily. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand once he pulls back.

“Now eat, sweetest. You need the strength.”

You turn to the pancakes and eat them. You feel a little better doing it. Taehyung’s presence helps you feel strong enough not to throw them up again. The others are here too, paying you company. You look at them. Every single one of them gives you a smile when you lock eyes. You have to look away in the end. You want to cry. You really do.

“You guys should eat too”, you whisper, “there is so much food still here, I can’t eat it alone.”

“I think that’s a good idea. Anyone want something to drink to it?” Hoseok offers, standing up to get some coffee.

“Coffee would be lovely”, Emma says.

“For me too”, Jimin says.

The others decline him, but begin sharing the food with you. It tastes better now that you are sharing it with them. You aren’t immune to the feeling of sharing food with your dearest friends. It makes you feel connected to them and maybe for just a little while, you don’t feel alone anymore. The feeling is so strong, even, that after some time you even like the conversation they have, partaking in it with a lighter heart. So much happened in their lives. Seokjin and Emma have started to propagate flowers for the next season. They invite you to come visit them once they start planting them. You accept it under the condition that if Yoongi is better, you will come. Hoseok has started a dance program in town. You had no idea, but apparently the others did. Jimin agreed to help him with setting everything up and they agreed on each teaching a class. Hoseok will teach modern dance while Jimin will have a more classic approach. You are so excited for them and promise to visit them once Yoongi is better again.

Jungkook has been training with Taehyung. He is getting better day by day. You knew he would. He is such a fighter.

And Taehyung plans to take you on a trip to the coast. You promise him to take him up on his offer once Yoongi is back.

“No. We will leave later today”, Taehyung says.

“What?” you gasp. The once sweet sugar cookie starts to taste bitter on your tongue, “but you know that I can’t leave.”

“I know, but you really need a break and I promise you that a few days at the coast will do you well.”

“No they won’t. I have so much stuff to do.”

“Stuff which will still be here once you return. The others all agreed to it. They will care for Yoongi while you and I relax.”

You look at the others.

“You agreed on it? Without asking me?”

“You were never here so we thought that we could surprise you”, Hoseok explains.

“Surprise me? By doing what? Sending me away like a crazy person?”

“We aren’t sending you away like a crazy person. We want you to be able to relax for a few days”, Emma explains, “I promise you that finding a solution will come so much easier to you once you gave your brain a little break.”

“How could you do this to me?” you ask them, looking back at Taehyung, “you can leave without me. I’ll stay.”

“Please darling. I have so much stuff planned to do with you. Can’t you do this for me?”

“But Yoongi.”

“He will be in good hands with the others.”

“I can’t give up on him.”

“I’m not asking you to give up on him, I’m asking you to not give up on yourself in the process! You need a break, please listen to me.”

“A break? You think I can relax when, when I know that, that I’m wasting so much time not doing what I’m supposed to do?”

“You are supposed to relax!” Taehyung is yelling, but you stand your ground.

“No! I’m supposed to safe him! I’m the only fucking person who can do that. I’m the one with magic. I’m the one who, who even put him into this state in the first place.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Taehyung laughs breathily, “you didn’t do that to him. Namjoon did.”

“Yes and I have to reverse it”, you yell because you can’t do anything else anymore, “I can’t give up on him.”

“You are acting reckless.”

“I didn’t give up on you either, did I?”

“But you did!” he yells, slamming his hand on the table. You thought Taehyung yelled before but this is different, this is soaked in pain and hurt and makes the room shake, “you went and fell in love with Yoongi while I was suffering in prison. You gave up on me long ago, be fucking honest!”

“Taehyung”, Seokjin and Hoseok gasp simultaneously.

“Don’t say that”, Jungkook gasps, staring at him with widened eyes.

“Yeah seriously, that’s not true. Even I can see that”, Jimin says.

Taehyung looks between them, then back at you. The utter heartbreak on your face almost shatters him.

“I didn’t mean that”, he says, trying to reach out for you, “my sweetest, I’m sorry, I-”

You step back before he can touch you, staring him down with tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Darling”, Taehyung tries.

You turn without saying another word, leaving the room in big steps.

“___ my sweetest, I’m sorry please I-”, Taehyung gets his words cut off by you slamming the door closed right on front of his nose with the help of your magic.

They can hear one more door slamming closed and then you mask yourself with magic, making it unable to hear where you go next.

Taehyung turns, looking at the others with guilt and helplessness on his face.

“Please don’t be angry at me. I, I didn’t mean it”, he begs, breaking down a second later.

Jungkook is loading bags into one of their cars when you finally return. The really fast model with only two seats and way too much horsepower. Everyone, except Taehyung and Jimin, is here.

“What are you doing? Are you leaving?” you ask Seokjin and Emma.

“We aren’t. You and Jungkook are”, Seokjin tells you.

“What? But I told you that I don’t want to go.”

“And we didn’t fucking ask”, Seokjin hisses.

“Wow. Okay. Thanks.”

“Go with Kookie, it will do you good”, Emma says with more compassion in her voice, “you need a break. Taehyung needs a break as well. You know as well as we do that if you don’t take those few days off now, you might lose him.”

You thought about that as you tried to calm down far away from the estate. You know that Taehyung and you are at a breaking point. That one wrong step could ruin everything you built.

“Where is he?”

“Out with Jimin. Taking his mind off of everything”, Emma places her hand on your shoulder, “please go with Jungkook. He promised to let you be grumpy the entire trip.”

You look at Jungkook, who just this moment joined your side. He nods his head, looking at you sternly.

“And if you don’t want to do it for yourself. Do it for Tae. He needs to know that you are taking a break”, Hoseok says, “please ___ do that for him.”

They are right. Like so many times in the past, they are right. And you want to listen to them, even if it is extremely hard.

“Okay. Okay, I will go on this fucking trip”, you say, turning away when they start cheering for you. It feels like mockery to be happy about it. The only reason why you are going is because you want to show Taehyung that you haven’t given up on your relationship.

You hug them as they say their goodbyes, but you don’t feel good doing it. You should be in the library catching up on your books. They wish you a restful time and you wish them a good time. You know that you won’t be resting. You are leaving Yoongi. You are leaving the one person who needs your help.

You cry once Jungkook drives off. And Jungkook tries to comfort you with his hand on your thigh and tears in his eyes.

You cry long into the drive. At some point, Jungkook had to stop at a random shop. It was a carpenter. You got a panic attack. It forced you to throw up on the sidewalk. You are going the wrong way. You are leaving Yoongi. You screamed not at him, but at the injustice of the situation. And Jungkook cried with you and he did so as miserably as you. He only managed to calm you down after you took your ring off and he caressed your temples, kissing your forehead over and over again. He wouldn’t have ever been able to stop the attack otherwise. You continued the drive afterwards. The town is behind you, the endless highway is in front of you. Jungkook gave you some water to drink after crying too much. You finished a quarter of it, now clutching it between your legs. You want to cry more, but you can’t. You are going the wrong way. You shouldn’t put distance between you and Yoongi, you should be with him. Fighting for him. Helping him.

The sign for the exit passes you. You look at it until it disappears in the rear view mirror.

“You just passed the exit”, you tell him dryly.

“I know”, he answers you, speeding up.

You sneak a glance at him.

“We’re not going to the coast”, he explains.

“Huh? But Taehyung-”

“Taehyung decided to stay at the estate, it’s his fault. If he wanted to make sure that we arrived by the coast, he should have come with us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m not abandoning Yoongi”, Jungkook tightens his grip on the steering wheel, “we’re not going to the coast, we’re going back to Meredith.”

So he understands. He is still willing to fight for Yoongi. And you will finally get all those books you have been dreaming about. Yoongi’s recovery will be so, so close. Overwhelmed by the happiness you feel, you lean in and kiss his cheek.

Jungkook flusters, sneaking a shy glance at you.

“Thank you, Kook”, you say, stealing one last kiss from him before falling back against the seat.

“Course”, he says and places his hand on your thigh, “you should try to sleep. We’ll drive the entire night.”

You intertwine your fingers with him and rest your head on the window, finally closing your eyes.

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agirlwithglam · 5 days ago

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hi vanilla !! I’ve been feeling so down lately esp cuz all my friends are gifted kids who get 100s in almost everything and beat themselves up over anything lower and I’m an all honors student except for history and I’m currently manifesting all straight a’s but today the teachers reached out to students giving the exceptional ones invitations to join NJHS and I’m very sad bc I didn’t get one :( I feel like I’m just proving all the GT kids that I’m just a dumb honors kid and I’m so tired. My grades aren’t awful but they could definitely be better but I’m just so exhausted and I feel like I’m not trying enough. Your page really motivates me and it’s really comforting so I’m gonna just scroll through it until I feel a bit better, tysm for the effort u put into ur blog, u help sm girls out there and I hope u know how much u help me<33

oh no honey!! absolutely not you should not be feeling bad about it. trust me, if it was meant for you, you would've gotten it! as long as you're working hard, you know your goals and you're working to achieve it, you will get the results you deserve. in a way, it is lucky girl syndrome but you're also increases the chances of the luck being in your favour!

also remember that your friends have their own set of capabilities, talents, and standards. a test doesn't determine your smartness! you in fact may be amazing at something that they are not so good at that also matters more to you. always remember that <3

omg thankyou so much for that sweet sweet comment!! i am so grateful to have you here and i'm BEYOND happy that my blog inspires you!! literally ilysmmmm💓💋

#agirlwithglam🎀✨#it girl #vanilla's pookies💌#self improvement #it girl energy #goals #academic

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icyminghao · 1 year ago

Text

2023 with icyminghao!

to start off, to say i’m massively grateful would be an understatement. i honestly didn’t expect to start writing again after quitting like 5 years ago 💀 and just decided to write for boynextdoor on a whim bc they haven’t debuted yet and would probably need some writers on the blr 😎

i was really excited to try out writing again having been a ghost reader for so long HELP (i’m not proud) and fate just led me back to my ult seventeen!

when i wrote, i just wanted to get my work out there and published on the cloud, and the reception and friends i made along the way were certainly not on my bingo card but a welcome surprise nonetheless. i’m really, really grateful that people like reading my work and i’m sorry that i can’t push out fics regularly! i write on random spurts of inspiration and i have so many wips rn PLS i’ll do my best to publish them all soon!!!

and now to the friends i made along the way! i may not have been talking to y’all much lately but i’m still so grateful to have met each and everyone of you in my writing journey, y’all have been some of the sweetest, funniest, and most genuine people i have met ever and i love all of you guys:

zanna @slytherinshua my first friend on the blr!! so so in awe at how you’re in so many fandoms like it’s genuinely mind blowing to me (in a good way!) and i also like some of hoppipolla’s music and you’re the first person i’ve seen to like them too!! but anyways you’ve been so so sweet and kind and i love how you always strive to interact with everyone (hence the movie night and trying to accommodate to everyone’s schedules was so sweet btw)!! i hope 2024 treats you so well and i love you so much

yena @fairyhaos my butterfly :( you are genuinely the sweetest and cutest person i’ve ever met like i always have a smile on my face when i talk to you!! there is really never a dull moment in our conversations bc you’re just so so genuine and kind!!! i love your works too even though i may not have been interacting much (i try my best!!!) and i hope 2024 treats you well!! all the best for your upcoming exams too :)

skye @etherealyoungk skye!!! omg i always love talking to you :) you always feel like the older sister i never had and everytime i talk to you i just feel so warm all around like you’re just so sweet and kind and i hate how you’re always swarmed with exams but i know you’ll always just ace it anyway like the star student you are 😎 anyway if its possible i really hope 2024 brings you less academic stress and more fun!!!!!! i’m always rooting for you skye i love you sm :(

axe @blue-jisungs axie my honey pumpkin cupcake with buttercream frosting and 2 marshmallows and a cherry on top i love you sm :( you’re so so sweet and funny and i always love interacting with you and reading all the silly nicknames we come up with for each other i love you sm!! i hope 2024 will be the best year for you yet and it’ll only go up from here :) college is going to be so great for you too you’re gonna have so much fun!!!! and ace all your exams bc you’re just that smart 😎😎 love you!!

jada @kyeomyun jada :( i always love talking with you bc we always use all caps and it’s just so funny to me HELP but anyways you haven’t been active much and i hope life has been good to you and will be better in 2024 bc you deserve it sm!! i miss you sm and you’re literally so sweet and kind and i hope we get to talk more in 2024!

hana @wqnwoos quite literally my favourite writer i can’t believe i’m actually friends with you!! so starstruck HAHA but aaaa hana i love you sm your works literally bring light to my day like how do you write like that. and you’re so nice too like fr a whole package!! i hope 2024 brings you nothing but joy bc you really deserve it hehe

mellow @haowrld my fellow 8star!! i love you sm and i’m so sad we haven’t been able to talk lately (100% my fault i am absolutely horrible at replying) but you’re such a fun person to talk to and i hope 2024 will be a great year for you!!

rania @wheeboo rania!! i love your writing sm and you’re so so sweet too and quite literally the queen of reaction stickers i still love them so much HAHAHA we haven’t been able to talk much lately but i still love you with my whole heart and hope that 2024 is the best year for you!!

jem @pepperonidk jem!! i loved our conversations on movies and camp with the kids and i hope you’re having the time of your life in korea :) you’re so so kind and sweet and i always love talking with you, it really never fails to bring a smile to my face hehe i hope 2024 brings you all the joy!!

sky @weird-bookworm sky! omg i really need to get better at replying bc i love talking with you and would really really love to get closer AAA but you’ve been so sweet to me and i’m really grateful to have met you :( you’re always encouraging me to continue writing and i’m really thankful and i hope 2024 is your best year yet!

and to my other moots @woozvc @mirxzii @jeonride @trblsvt @hannyoontify @frenshushutoast @haecien @rubywonu we haven’t been able to interact much but i love you all sm nonetheless!! i’ll be interacting with you all much more in 2024 so be ready hehe 🤭🤭

and to my followers!!! i love you all sm and i’m so grateful that y’all like my work like genuinely ☹️☹️ i don’t deserve y’all!! i always love looking at your reblogs and it motivates me to continue writing!! and to the ghost readers (i’ve been there 💀) i appreciate y’all too hehe i’ll try my best to publish more quality work this 2024 that i hope y’all would like!!!! thank you sm 🩷

to 2024 😋

ps also wna thank some of my favourite writers out there i love your work sm literally my comfort: @leejungchans @wooahaes @thepixelelf @viastro @toruro @lovelyhan @97-liners @wqnwoos (😚) @wonwoonlight @twogyuu

#i love y’all #ICY THINKS OUT LOUD

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majorproblems77 · 10 months ago

Text

Hi all! Bonus links updated! Which means I am back to ramble about it! :D

Hello hello!! :D

Hope you are all having a wonderful day (And if not maybe some rambling can make it better!) Bonus links is back with Homesick part 5.

I LOVE THIS COMIC

Nuff said :D

Im kidding, but im also not kidding. This comic is wonderful and always so well done! I love it sm, also mandatory Loft my beloved, because he is the bestest boy in the worlds.

For the important stuff! All art belongs to @bonus-links and the artist @ezdotjpg. Please go and look at their other stuff too! And I once again thank you for letting me do these.

You can find a link to the comic here!!! Please go and give the original post some love!

Now, Grab a drink, and some popcorn cause I am about to take you on a journey. Mainly a rambling journey, but a journey nonetheless!

Let's do this!

Loft.... Loft are you remembering the same trip I am cause you looked horrified. Im sure he kinda had fun eventually but I remember the shenanigans.

Wake is just happy to be here.

And poor wolf. He Frow up! (This made me cackle so much thank you)

Wake really do be :3 Gives me cat vibes.

I love how expressive he is. He's so proud of himself.

Oh my god, these two deserve the literal world I love them so damn much okay.

(Is this analysis just gonna be me hyping about all of these guys for 30 minutes. Probably, but that's what you signed up for so.... :D )

Okay okay okay

So, Aryll has a joy pendant and this gives me joy, did wake give to her from his adventure? That makes me so happy.

And Tetra! Holy hell she looks so cool! Badass bitch over here and I am here for it.

Also, just to check, Thats Linebecks jacket, right? The one he wore in phantom hourglass. I dont remember seeing him give it to Tetra at any point in time. So, how is it she's come across it?

I assume it's just he gave it to her at one point and she wears it as a sign of respect?

Ohno.... OH NO

Tetra looks like she is about to kill Ganondorf all over again, Also also, the background behind Tetra. Protective mode activated.

This one, I am loving how it looks like water. I was literally screaming, though, you get that feeling you recognise something? It's something Something about the water.

I'll be back...

(Investigates)

OHHHHHHHHHH

ITS FROM THE GANON PICTURE, ITS FROM THE GANON PICTURE. FROM THE UPDATE THEY MET WAKE.

THIS ONE

(From Homesick pt3 - link here!)

Also the shadows? The way the light comes up from below her rather than above her at this point. The final fight had this in the final stages. A nice detail.

This is the face of fear

Help him

Man is about to get killed, tetra is to be feared and I love her.

Also

I THOUGHT THE EYEPATCH WAS A FASHION STATEMENT WHAT HAPPENED. WAKE ARE YOU OKAY?

She has a point. Stabbing Ganondorf in the head is what caused him to turn to stone, so for all she knows Ganondorf could be walking around right now causing havoc.

And how, casual Wake is about it is probably not helping.

I love how protective of Gran Gran Tetra is, (as she should be Gran Gran is wonderful) and she has a point Wake like the hell why are you bringing in shenanigans on your poor Gran Gran's birthday.

LOFT BELOVED

TRULY THE MASTER OF STANDING IN ALL TIMELINES I LOVE HIM A HEALTHY AMOUNT

okay im done

Yeah, Wake go and see your Gran Gran. Can't believe you are late so rude to Gran Gran.

Also him tucking the windwaker in the back of his belt, a nice touch!

Also, I know it's not meant to be a lil face, but I can't unsee the lil face on Tetras cheek. It's so angry and sad and I love it.

Tetra's inner demon is just as mad as she is

Oh my god I love Gran Gran so much

She is actually beloved because she's so sweet! And Wake loves his gran so much I just ahhhhhh

I love them

His little squishy face oh bless him.

Linebeck, Linebeck please, he's lowkey their uncle. Look at how disappointed Wake and Aryll look.

Gran Gran you look wonderful.

Oh they all got towels thats so sweet

Also I am loving the backgrounds, the inside of Gran Gran's House is just wonderful.

So here is some of the stuff I've spotted, which from my understanding come from a mix of Windwaker and Phantom hourglass.

Yahaha! You found him! :D

What I believe is the Town flower? I think that's right.

A Ruto crown I believe!

They went ice skating and thats adorable

Look at this boy

How could you not love him?

Cause I do

Loft my beloved

Me figuring out if this is saying Lie to my gran or Dont lie to my gran because of that hand.

Pretty sure it's Lie to my Gran. But I think it's funnier if it's, Dont lie to my gran.

Take it as you will

Loft using Groose, he looks so nervous I love him,

Wolf picking Rusl makes me so happy. Man is a hometown kid.

Slate, the sweet darling boy. I love all of them very much. Also, with that smug face, he 100% knew what he was doing.

This is the look of a man who likes you because his grandmother approves of you.

Also, I think I would literally die for Gran Gran i love her to pieces and if anything happens to her I will go on a rampage, (Affectionally, with a tub of ice cream)

This update was wholesome I loved it. AND THOSE BACKGROUNDS YES.

Background appreciation time

Look at the detail on the boat!

Even out of focus the fact that you can see the blades of long grass or the hatching on the window.

(ALso look at how sweet my blorbo is Loft beloved)

I just love how much detail is in the house or on the tree to the right hand side here.

And the little flowers just outside I see you. so cute!

Now inside the House is just so incredible looking.

The small details on the blanket on the bed, or the pictures on the wall. The fact that you can make out what they are at this distance is just so cool okay.

Again, the details on the items on the shelf, or in the flowers in the top right-hand corner.

It's just incredible how detailed stuff is and I love it.

Love it so much!

Okay thats my rambles done for another update. Thanks for following along!

I hope you have a great day! :D

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cramathonn · 5 months ago

Note

Pompey died, cried, and hated becoming a ethereal

SPOILERS FOR THE 1.2 STORY QUEST AHEAD!!

He did

He hated it

Like, listen

That man looked so pained, like obviously physically, did you see how unnaturally his arms bent? But the look he gave Caesar as he pushed her away

That MILISECOND glance he gave her

It was pain, it was distaste at himself, disappointment that he was becoming an Ethereal

That man died being betrayed, didn't get the chance to be treated and saved because of the sabotage Lucius planed and had people watch him as he turned into an Ethereal

I am in shambles

My dear sweet Pompey, Hoyo did you so dirty... You deserved so much better

I need to make fix it x readers like, y'all have NO IDEA how HYPED I was, believing he was going to be playable, in love with his design

And them BOOM death

IN FRONT OF ME

TWICE

HE GOT BACKSTABBED IN THE COMIC CUTSCENE

AAND THEN IN AN ACTUALLY 3D CUTSCENE

Like, please Hoyo, that is targeted harassment agains me and my fellow Pompey enjoyers

I hope they pull a HSR and make dead characters playable, because I need him in my team

But yeah, he did

He totally cried when no one was there

Not of sadness, no, but of pure and sheer fustration. Frustration that his right hand betrayed him, frustration that he didn't see it sooner and frustration because he was going to become a monster due to how hopeful and forgiving he was towards Lucius

That

That just hurts me so much... My sweet old man Ily sm and I would fuck you even as a monster because gyatt dayum, that etheral design bangs, I would so let Ethereal Pompey ruin my insides, y'all have no idea

#yappingdemon #zzz #zenless zone zero #pompey zzz

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antoncore · 4 months ago

Note

Seunghan left..

It's very upsetting to see that the company did not even try to protect him from the start. His privacy got invaded yet SM didn't even do something about it letting him carry those burdens (made by the company and those so called 'fans'). I just feel so sad that his dreams got taken away from him just because he had life, and what makes me more sad is his love for the members. I can't imagine the horror for him in the past 2 days, and again, SM DIDN'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK. I really can't explain nor express what I feel right now. It's also a shame to be a kbriize right now (I am Korean sadly), I feel like I'll live with this shame forever but I'll always be grateful that I fought for him along with the members and fellow OT7s. I'm so sorry, Seunghan, you deserved better.

(I'm sorry for venting this on your ask, I'm just so sad and hurt about the news.)

-🧜🏻

it’s okay, please don’t apologise :( even from the message he posted, it’s evident that he cares for his members so much. i really hate that the voices that spread hate were so much louder than the voices that wanted to show how loved he is. and please don’t feel ashamed, sm and those who’ve said and done such nasty things deserve to feel that instead. i really hope that seunghan and the members are okay and can get the support they need after going through this because it’s been so much within the past 2 days. sm are so selfish i hate them, fuck sm

#cee chats 💬#🧜🏻 anon

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soleilnomoon · 2 years ago

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Hi again! Still absolutely adore your Kid fic from your last event 💜 Never got around to asking for a Sanji one, so here I am again😅 But seriously, congrats on over 550 followers!! Love seeing your blog grow, cause you’re really talented and deserve them all and legit can’t wait til you hit 1k+ 🥰

For the event order, may I please ask for a #1 with my boi Sanji, with anmitsu, konpeito, and keylime pie and with honey, please? 🥹 i hate this but need some sanji angst 😭

I also dunno if these three would work particularly well together for a prompt, so you can choose whatever! just really feeling angst and sanji rn and maybe comfort if you’d like 🥰

Thank you for all your works you’ve done so far 💜💜

hiiii omg haha i loved that fic fr (i'm obsessed w that man!!!) also ily for requesting sanji i don't write him nearly enough 🥰️ but thank you sm!! 😭 making me all soft and i am so so sorry this took forever, as u know i am so slow but!!! i had fun tormenting sanji w the angst ngl 💓💓💓💓 also those were great choices for the prompt, i wanted to write more but it would've been 8k words before i finished and who has time for that (i do, but listen... that's besides the point) ✨

2k words, fem reader (honestly gn too now that i think abt it), sfw (SHOCKING i know), 18+ mdni, a lil bit suggestive but nothing wild, angst angst angst city babey, fluff if you squint, also i gave u comfort bc u deserve it bb 💗(and sanji does too); feat. sanji being in denial forever and ever, mutual pining, fake unrequited love, reader is determined and sanji is a coward; also i made myself sad writing this but a good sad bc sanji deserves happiness and i'll fight oda if he doesn't get it i s2g... (if u see grammar mistakes/spelling errors... no u didn't 💗)

“loving each other began this way: threading / loneliness into loneliness / patiently, our hands trembling and precise.” — yehuda amichai

STEP 01:

what does it take to kill a soul? —

a question that’s posed unironically, without a hint of remorse or tact, the words precise and venomous, slicing through the thick veneer that he’s carefully crafted. he’s never been able to answer that question — not at six years old, not twelve or fifteen, and not at twenty-one. his siblings took pleasure in taunting him with seemingly philosophical questions, ones that clamped down onto his thoughts with heavy shackles.

even after he’s extracted himself from that life, he can’t scrub those memories from his mind — no matter how hard he tries. they sit, still raw and bloody, giving rise to unpleasant emotions that make his stomach churn from so many things left unsaid. he never set out to be a pirate, but piracy has given him the sort of freedom that he could only wish for as a child.

it’s with tender hands, with nimble yet graceful fingers, and with a fastidiousness that puts him in a category of his own, that he creates and creates and creates —

he’s told he’s an artist, which only pushes him to work harder, to be better. and when he asks himself why, he doesn’t have an answer. or, rather, the answer he does have only serves as a punishing reminder that he’ll never be good enough. no matter how many times his crew mates thank him — their emphatic, genuine praise a soft, warm breeze against his heart, gentle caresses that he commits to memory — despair still manages to infiltrate, a darkness choking out what little light he has left inside of him.

STEP 02:

how far are you willing to go to reach the truth? —

when you join the crew, he’s unnerved by your presence, which is wholly unlike him. usually, he’s able to put on his façade of the flirtatious cook, one that’s jovial and sociable, that lives to serve and please those around him. his first conversation with you ends in disaster; he spills the drink he tried to pour for you, despite your insistence that you are perfectly capable of pouring your own drink — and he knows it’s not out of malice, but it cuts into him all the same.

he tries again and again, bringing you little treats that you only agree to eating if he sits and eats with you; confusion eats away at his mind, and when he opens his mouth to decline, you pat the seat next to you and he acquiesces. he sits stiffly, at first, unsure of why he always feels on edge around you — an irritating need to impress you in a way he’s never wanted to for others grows stronger by the day.

you think it’s cute that he always seems flustered around you — that he stumbles over his words, refuses to hold eye contact with you for longer than thirty seconds — you also think it’s cute that the false bravado that he puts on for the world, diminishes immediately the second you come close to him. if he’s skittish, it’s because you always catch him staring at you; despite his quick reflexes, his reactions around you are slow but pure — childish, almost.

lately he’s clumsier and scatterbrained, nearly burning dinner when you decide to keep him company. you lean against the countertop, a teasing smile on your face — the same one that that caused him to bump his forehead against the cabinet door earlier — as you prattle on about a dream you had. he can barely keep up, his eyes drifting from the skillet to your face, gliding around the curve of your cheek, dipping lower in a slow descent along your neck.

he blinks repeatedly when he reaches your clavicle, stunned at his restraint; and it’s only when you call his name loudly that he realizes he’s left the heat on for too long.

“are you okay?” you ask when you see that he’s fussing over how best to save the dish, mouth moving as he quietly mutters to himself. he barely registers your voice, as an insidious one whispers harshly into his ears about his perpetual incompetence and lack of talent.

you can see that he’s retreated even further into his mind, a feat that also leaves you frustrated. you want to shake him but refrain and grab his hand instead. he snaps out of whatever stupor that held him captive just moments ago, lips parting as he sighs softly before glancing down at you.

“thank you.”

the words are quiet, but impactful, as he didn’t think he’d be able to get them out. you let go of his hand too soon, but he doesn’t say anything else, choosing to focus on cooking than embarrassing himself again in front of you.

you take his silence as a silent dismissal, but you don’t fight him on it — it’s bitter, that sort of rejection, and you swallow back your argument with great difficulty.

STEP 03:

what’s the difference between cowardice and self-preservation? —

frustration bubbles underneath his skin when he can’t find where he placed his lighter; he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on impulse, accidentally ripping a few strands from his scalp. they swirl and tumble onto the ground, pathetic in a way — just like me, but he never really says that out loud. he doesn’t hear your footsteps, although you did your best to remain as quiet as possible.

a cigarette sits in between his lips, and he has half a mind to toss it over the railing of the ship, but a warmth suddenly appears in front of him in the form of a flame. you found his lighter on the floor earlier and meant to give it to him, but every time you got closer, he found every excuse to leave. you don’t realize the impact you have on him — not really, anyway — because he’s genuinely surprised that you can’t hear the heavy beats of his heart that grow more intolerable the longer he hangs around you.

always afraid of being found out, he opts to keep his distance. it’s easier this way, he tells himself, better. but he doesn’t quite believe that; the evidence is plain as day when his tongue feels like its grown three sizes in the span of seconds, where his words get lost and forgotten. it’s all your fault, he reasons; you who insists on talking candidly with him, who insists on listening to him ramble about his dreams, who absolutely insists on stubbornly tearing down his walls, steadily chipping away without a care in the world. he looks at you as if you are the source of all his problems, but he also looks at you as if you’re the solution.

the intensity behind his stare makes your hands tremble slightly, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to keep yourself composed for this long. you light the end of his cigarette with ease, as if you’ve done this for him hundreds of times —and place the lighter into his pants pocket afterwards. if he wasn’t so used to you getting in his personal space all the time, he’d retreat immediately. the proximity is almost too much for him, but he doesn’t step back; you take that as a good sign and keep him company for a few minutes.

you don’t care for the smell of smoke, but on him it smells good. you almost tell him that, but instead bite down on your lip and keep your comment at bay, nerves getting the best of you as you nearly choke on the possibility that your feelings won’t be reciprocated.

another time, maybe. cheeks flushed, you turn your face to look elsewhere. although, you wonder if there ever will be another time. with him, you never know.

he’s still trying to figure you out and why he feels a different sort of calm around you; it’s alarming and new, drumming up an irrational fear within him. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of your attention or affection, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. and why would you?

one by one, his thoughts pummel into him, acerbic and overwhelming. he exhales a sliver of smoke and puts the cigarette out. he gives you a quick, apologetic look before telling you goodnight, the smile on his face is melancholic and barely existent. you don’t dare say a word, keep your lips pressed together stubbornly; exasperated and dejected, you don’t know what’s worse — his inability to lower his guard around you for longer than ten minutes, or your inability to stop yourself from trying to carve pieces of yourself to give to him.

maybe if you helped him fill the gaping holes in his heart, he’d truly understand how you feel.

STEP 04:

if you had to do it all over again, would you do anything differently? —

sleep evades you after that night, and the night after that, and so forth; it gets so bad that you’re yawning in the middle of the day, falling asleep before you can have a cup of coffee or tea. this does not go unnoticed by the others, and after talking with nami, you feel less out of your element and finally can see the parts of sanji that he wants to keep hidden. her advice is simple: approach slowly and with intent; corner him and don’t let him escape.

you bide your time, full confident that you can find a moment to sit down with him and talk this all out. it doesn’t come easy, but franky mysteriously swaps sanji for the night’s watch — something that should strike you as odd, but it’s a small opening that you take without thinking as you hurriedly climb up to the crow’s nest with a renewed sort of energy.

even with his eyes closed, as he sits lazily on the bench with head tilted back against the wall, he knows it’s you.

“go back to bed,” he says firmly, refusing to look at you.

your stubbornness, unfortunately, wins out. “i’m staying.” at that he sits up, his attention completely on you as his eyes widen at your words. he wants to ask you why, but cowardice wins out — again. as his features soften, a flush crawls along his face, lightly painting his cheeks pink. he closes his eyes again, tries to steady his breathing as he counts backwards, only for his efforts to be obliterated with ease the moment you sit next to him.

as your thigh presses against his, you take his hand and on impulse you trace your fingertip along the lines on his palm. he watches you with a morbid fascination that scares him; but then you start to say things like, “you will live a very long life,” and “you are courageous, and you have a big heart.”

a small part of him wants to pull his hand away, so you won’t say anything else — but he remains put, so still that you almost think he’s stopped breathing. your voice is sweet and disarming, even when you carry on this charade of reading his palm. a belated realization hits him forcefully, making him blink several times; it dawns on him that you’ve always been so kind and gentle with him, even when you teased him. he’s spent all this time overthinking and hiding behind his past, that it never occurred to him that he could have simply let you in. you’ve never given him reason to believe that you’d betray or harm him intentionally.

he takes a deep breath, voice a little uneven, “i—”

you lean in close, adoration dripping onto your words as you interrupt him. “hey, have i told you?” the question glides along his skin, the words seeping into him as you continue, the lilt in your voice a honeyed, melodic spell. “you remind me of starlight and the mysteries of space.” your lips brush against his when you tell him that, and a warmth settles into the middle of his chest, makes it hard to focus. he doesn’t think when he curls his fingers around yours and doesn’t think when heleans down to kiss you — tender yet electrifying all the same.

the move disarms you in a way that doesn’t quite make sense to you, so you simply hum in approval and lean your head against his shoulder. a comfortable silence settles around you both, but you don’t mind that at all; it’s nice, not having to tip-toe around him anymore, and the demons that plagued him for so long don’t seem so intimidating with you by his side.

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