#i am rolling my eyes at all of these women 😒😒😒😒😒😒

[snekdood]

so i often get quora digest emails and sometimes they catch my eye and todays was about how when shiva went to go marry parvati he apparently took a form so so beautiful it made women faint, made parvatis mom cry, and vishnu was like "yeah hes even hotter than all 10 of my avatars" (i dont believe that ur just being flattering vishnu its ok to admit it) and man. i've read a couple times what goes down during that wedding and all he does is literally put on gold and sandalwood and hide his snakes.

[charnelhouse]

husband anon and husband notes from reading chapter 9, featuring an ironic husband name reveal. (Fair warning, we talk about sex)

“Okay - how are you getting out of this one?”

Me: head butt him and break his nose (I did a victory dance when will told Faire but I beat him to it)

He’d excused himself and headed to the downstairs powder room where he proceeded to jack off like he was in eleventh grade.

Me: is that like..... a genuine thing? Do men do that?

Husband: yeah

me: ewwwwww

Ben prided himself on his work - his success. He’d always had that drive - that unshakeable confidence.

Me: ugh what a typical man

Husband: babe.. please keep reading

me:😒📖

“What’s wrong with jazz?” His tone was a bit too defensive.

Husband: santi would listen to jazz

Santi smiled.

Me: 😮

Husband: dude..what

ME: Babe....santi smiled at her!!

Husband: so?

Me: Santi... smiled at faire....

Husband: So???

Me: WILL!!! THIS IS HUGE, HE SMILED AT HER!!!!

Husband: Oh my god *steals laptop to keep reading*

What did he mean? Like their sex slave? Their private chef?

Husband: Thats basically what I am

Me: okay FIRST of all your the white one in this biracial relationship and second I AM A WOMAN OF CLASS if I was going to have a sex slave it would be someone with a far better dick than yours

husband: not what your said thirty minutes agooooo

me: shut up before I kill you

me: also you literally lit the grill on fire last weekend? Do you know how embarassing that is, Will? I am a fire fighter, and my husband lit the grill on fire. EM-BAR-ASS-ING

He was leaning against the wall - hands shoved into his pockets.

Me: The things I would let him do to me

Husband: whore, like same, but whore

Marissa walked into their private room.

Husband: UGH FUCK THIS BITCH

Me: punch her in the tit Faire, do it.

But everything that came out of her mouth was garbled gibberish. It was going dark. Her eyes rolled back - she couldn’t see the stars.

Me: Okay ms. poetic charnie

husband: *raises glass of champagne* pop off queen

The four other men were on him at once and he didn’t even seem fazed.

Me: Hot.

Husband:You would be attracted by that

“When I fucked those other women, I pretended they were you,” he admitted.

Me: you in 2016 after I refused to go on a date with you because you were scary

Husband: BRO STOP

He’d made her squirt. She’d never fucking done that before.

Husband: you the day after our wedding

Me: I will actually fucking kill you *steals the laptop back*

-Husband Anon

Hahahahahaj this is the most amazing thing ever

I love your play by plays!! I cannot get over that you both enjoy this story. Obsessed!!!👁👄👁

[the-wild-wolves-around-you]

Tumblr stop deleting the readmore. Let me rant in peace 😒

FUCK i am 🤏🏽 close to running away to live in the wilderness somewhere 😤

Every day I hate my job more and goddamn more but i have literally no other option but to just suck it up. My boss has NO boundaries and messages me at any time of the day or night or on weekends, and im expected to reply IMMEDIATELY no matter what. Even when i take “vacations” (which i dont) or when im sick (EVEN WITH COVID) im expected to meet deadlines regardless.

I do get to WFH so i get up at like 8-9 and just work in my pjs all day, and it is “creative writings” so im technically reading books every day. But theyre “male power fantasy” books that legitmately (no joke) make me want to step in front of cars on a daily basis. The audience for these books are every incel fucking idiot misogynist on reddit, so we write dummed down porn basically. And i have nothing against porn, but the fact that there cant be any other men in these books except the MC bc the readers are so insecure tell you everything you need to know 🙃 And every time my boss berates me for something stupid like “oh the women cant roll their eyes ever bc men dont like that” i just want to SCREAM 😤

Honestly if i was back in my home state, I would have quit already. But im out of state and basically living pay check to pay check on my sole income since my fiance isnt working while he finishes law school. I have like $20 left in my account every month after bills and expenses, so if i quit, i have literally NO safety net. I wouldnt have enough for one months rent or even have enough to move back home. Which makes me super fucking anxious like… all the time. When i first started getting jobs, I saved up and made sure I always had at least $1000 in case shit happens (and bc i grew up poor lol yay trauma) and now I dont have enough for a night of takeout.

To top it off, my cars been dead for like a year bc I dont have the money to re-register it or actually get it running, so Im just stuck in the house all day 🤗

And idk how to explain this constant money anxiety to my fiance bc he grew up rich and white and his parents still send him money for things every so often just cuz. But here i am, sending MY parents money sometimes even if I dont have it and staying up at night wondering how tf im gonna pay for my parents when my dad gets too old to do his contracting work. (Hes 60, with a shit ton of injuries, so prob soon). Im wondering if I can yank out my own IUD later this yr bc i dont have money to see a doctor. Im wondering what will happen if our dogs get sick or if we have an accident.

I know if any of this happens, ill figure something out. I always do. Im the eldest daughter, the “golden child,” I cant fail.

But fuck… sometimes i just get so tired of fighting. Sometimes I just want someone to take care of me…

[outtamymouth]

Wellness Sunday....Heartbreak ...This is a long one ( probably typos in this one )

Okay so I lied and name this heartbreak but I’m more so disappointed, sad and pissed. I’ve had a blood alcohol level of 5 .... (yes just 5 )All day. This is huge for me because I’m not a huge drinker , on the contrary I’m one of those health conscious people that only have water to offer people when they are over .

In light of this I’m not going to really talk bout how to cope with these situations because I am horrible at it. When I’m hurt the anger of 1000 Amazon women descends upon me and says fuck shit up. I try to scare off the guy and act cray cray banaynay so this person never wants to interact with me again. (WHICH NEVER WORKS BECAUSE MEN LOVE CRAZY WOMEN. U WOULD THINK THESE GUYS WOULD NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN ) and then I get over it. Now I want to say for the majority of men I deal with I don’t care. I rarely have feelings and for the 3 years I’ve been in my feelings about 3 including yesterday’s crazy. That sounds like a lot but I date A LOT. This year I’ve slowed down so when I gave this guy (😒) a chance I was hella pissed it didn’t work

let’s get started. So recently I opened my mind and I guess heart to someone I thought

was worthy and ready.... I was wrong. Now I guess the back pedaling of the dating was due to things that have nothing to do with me and I’m more hurt about how it was done then it being done.

(NOTE TO MEN: ANY IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP/DATING THINGS SHOULD NOT BE SENT VIA TEXT MESSAGE AT 11pm EVER. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WILL SEND THE TXT AND NOTHING ELSE ALL DAY.... example ( WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS) and nothing else for hours. IM IN MY DAMN THIRTIES I DIDNT THINK I WOULD HAVE TO WRITE THAT BUT HERE WE ARE AND MY AMAZON DESCENDANTS WERE PISSED.... the art of communication is soooooo important )

So eyes still burning from angry tears here I am . Since the anger has subsided I’ve been left with all my thoughts mostly reminders of things said to me in therapy sessions past.

Which is helping me now see how I ended up here again and I figure I share and emphasize the importance of therapy.

1. I am more well adjusted then I like to admit and I’m always trying to have fake issues I don’t have. When I was younger I went to therapy like 13 with my mom. Like now I was an angry when u hurt me kid so we went. Long story short. The sessions became about my mom and dad and I was left in the sidelines rolling my eyes. I had little going on I was just reacting to my mom who was upset at everything else beside me 🙄... I was just a target.

2. I care about people wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much. If I were to go to work therapy it would be for this. The issue is I have and there’s really no cure for this. It just is what is it. Now I used to put people before me This is what I went to therapy in college for. Since then I have gotten better but still once I care for someone I would go out of my way to make them smile. Which is why the third thing is an issue

3. My last time In therapy was after my divorce and I learned the most in a small amount of time. This was the first time I went to a man for therapy. I learned most guys aren’t worth my time. ( this was my favorite lesson because again I really thought most people including men are good ).

4. Next I learned that I’m not the girl u don’t get into a relationship with. Meaning some are good for fun or short term relationships I am the girl you marry. This came from my male therapist. Sounds goood right....WRONG . Most men aren’t ready or interested in that type of relationship. It’s rare now a days so it’s hard for chicks like me. And no amount of cleavage baring fun time outfit can hide the fact I’m a forever girl. I’ve tried. So this fun fact leads to where I was with homie. He felt he had limited time to devote to a relationship and back pedaled. Here are the issues with that line of thought. I NEVER ASKED FOR TIME ,A RELATIONSHIP OR SHIT FOR THAT MATTER But going back to what my therapist said he probably felt obligated to give those things because I’m relationship girl. The only thing I wanted was an outing cause we stayed in a lot but I had worked that out and decided to hang with my friend at a vineyard. This was something I never told him. I planned that vineyard trip when I realized he didn’t have time cause I’m an independent woman who can do bad by myself and I don’t need no man to have fun !!! 😂

Any how I thank the times that I went to therapy because I’ve really gotta to know myself and I’ve learned I have to protect myself better. One of the major things I’ve leaned from all 3 is it’s okay to be emotional. Culturally I’m Haitian and alll those feelings are frowned on but I’ve began to except it’s ok to cry and be disappointed and feel things. As long as I don’t stay in that funk. Anyway. Have a great Sunday y’all