#i am posting this IN THE DARK because i fucking lost power. but hey. mobile hotspot

[euhemeria]

Time (Escapes Me) - Oneshot No.8

When she releases her stones into the ocean, that is what is most on her mind, the ways she has failed Fareeha in the past year, the ways she has failed herself, the pain she has caused both of them by promising that things will be different, but not actually making an effort to change.

Fandom: Overwatch Rating: G Characters: Angela Warnings: None A little thing for Rosh Hashanah (late for several reasons, not the least of which being that I don't have power right now), with Angela musing on how she hasn't always been the best partner to Fareeha. Also on ao3. This is Chapter 8 of a oneshot collection.

Novelty is exhilarating, for many people, is necessary, to stave off boredom, to be happy, to feel sane.  Angela has never been one of those people; the problem solving and excitement of her work has always been more than enough to keep her from feeling stultified in her everyday life.  In fact, she rather prefers that things not change, finds comfort in routine, in tradition, in repetition.

Religion is satisfying, in that way.  Yes, she appreciates it for providing a connection to her parents, an understanding of them and their values that time did not permit her to gain firsthand, and the ready community it provides when she moves from one place to another, yet again, but more than that there is continuity, an understanding that, no matter what came before, or what will come, some things will stay the same.  There is comfort in that, in knowing that she is one part of a larger whole, one moment in something that existed long before her and will persist long after, come what may, that there is nothing she can do to change that.

Few enough things in her life have felt so stable, and even those which have, like Overwatch, have evaporated in an instant.

Even Rosh Hashanah, which heralds the new year, is observed the same way every time.  Even when the place changes, the people, she knows what to expect with it, the same prayers, the same meal, the same wish for peace, for a good and sweet year to come, the same strange contrast between the somber service and the joy of children playing before dinner, not old enough, yet, to be burdened with guilt.  For all that they focus on the future, the promised return is only that—a return, life until the next new year.

She can appreciate that, appreciates, too, the seeking of forgiveness.  There is much she has to seek repentance for, at the end of another long year, much to cast off, even if she is not so good at the last part, at letting her failures go.  It is nice to have a period to devote to it, at least, nice to be able to tell herself, afterwards, that she has devoted appropriate time to it, to dwelling on the mistakes of the past, and can only do better now.  Otherwise, she might let it bog her down, the mistakes of the old days, of her past, all the things she did or said—and worse, the things she did not, words she spoke not.  After Yom Kippur, they will be truly behind her, and when that urge comes to ruminate, she can shake it off, can remind herself of what she has promised to do differently, the ways which she has sworn to change, and act on those, rather than sitting there in her misery, accomplishing nothing.

So there is change, too, yes, but in a way that feels safe, feels like continuity, like progress, like a choice, and always towards the same end: a better, sweeter future, a healed world.  That, she can accept, that, she will pursue.  With the same safe ritual, year over year, she can better herself, can feel safe in doing so because there is a guide for it, practical, a framework for understanding it.  Unlike so many other changes in her life, her repentance, the promises she makes during Tashlich, and will make through teshuvah on Yom Kippur, are ones she has chosen, are not the consequence of some event, sudden and catastrophic, are not forced upon her by her failures or the chaos of living, but are wholly in her control.

In this framework, that of choosing to right wrongs, to be a better person, doctor, friend, lover, it feels, if not quite safe, inevitable that certain things will need to change, to be done differently in the coming year.  It is still frightening, to imagine all the things she will have to do differently, to do right by Fareeha, to picture what it will look like to be more open about their commitment, and to be honest with herself about the fact that it is a commitment, that she has chosen Fareeha over the freedom to run, but it is freeing, too, to know that she has made a choice, to move past the uncertainty and to know what is going to happen.

(It will not make her any less nervous, the first time she introduces Fareeha as her partner, will not make her sound any more certain when she proposes, will not make it any less uncomfortable to be known by other people, to be recognized, when they are together, as a proper couple, but she will be braver in the face of those things, because she knows it is the right thing to do for Fareeha, the right way to treat her.  With that, with the idea that it is what she must do, that it is the better thing, she will be so much stronger than she would be otherwise.  There is much she can endure, if she knows that it is what she ought to do.)

For too long, she has told Fareeha just to wait until she is ready, until she is more certain.  For too long she has promised Fareeha that someday they will be able to be openly a couple, will be able to go out on proper dates and hold hands and make plans for the future.  For too long, she has asked Fareeha to take on faith that things will change, one day, but taken no steps to move towards that day.  It has hurt Fareeha, she knows it, even if she does not complain to Angela, most of the time, has decided that for now—if not forever—that what they have is enough for her. 

Angela does not want her commitment to be just enough for Fareeha to tolerate, she wants Fareeha to be truly happy, the way she is, wants, at least, to try and make good on her promises, wants to start moving towards the future.

(Fareeha is happy, of course, as things are.  The situation with Angela being closeted, yes, is one she tolerates, but the relationship itself is more than just acceptable, has made her happier and nourished her in much the same way it has Angela.  Still, Angela hates knowing that any part of their relationship is merely tolerable, hates the pain she causes Fareeha when she pulls away from holding hands in public, or stands just far enough away to keep people from getting the wrong—right—idea, hates knowing how avoidable it all is, and knows that she, too, would be happier, if they could do things differently.  Most of all, she hates knowing they could, if she were brave enough to make a change.)

So when she releases her stones into the ocean, that is what is most on her mind, the ways she has failed Fareeha in the past year, the ways she has failed herself, the pain she has caused both of them by promising that things will be different, but not actually making an effort to change. 

Next year, she tells herself, their relationship really will have changed.  They will be engaged, yes, if Fareeha accepts her proposal, but not just because of that; she will be more open about them, will be more able to say, in public my partner—or, by then my fiancée—will not shy away from what they are.  Next year, she will take Fareeha with her to Cima’s Rosh Hashanah dinner, will sit at the table beside her, will dip her challah into honey and then afterwards whisper to her love about the segulah for newlyweds, their challah dipped in honey every Friday for a year.  It is the sort of thing Fareeha might find charming, and so she imagines Fareeha talking her into it, despite her taking no stock in such superstitions.

(For Fareeha, there are many things she might do, might consider, which otherwise she would never.)

Next year, she will look to the future seated beside her love.  Next year, they will watch all the children at play and wonder—should they have one?  Next year, when no one is looking, she will dip another slice of apple into honey and press it to Fareeha’s lips, shocked at her own boldness.  Next year will be sweeter, if only she does what is right this year, if only she does what is good.

And she will.  She will.  It will not be easy, but she must do it, if she wants that sweeter future, and it will be easier, knowing it is not just for herself, knowing that it is what is right for Fareeha, will be possible, because she has promised before God that she will.

For Fareeha, for her happiness, she will do better.

[pooklet]

unaesthetic asks (anon edition)

i usually use a psd for asks to make them look nice and transparent and number them but tbh it’s just keeping me from answering asks quickly, having to shift layers around and stuff. so this is me literally cutting and pasting the text of some asks into a text post instead, sry.

if i did not answer yr thing here i lost/never got the ask, need a separate post to answer it (community lot anon), or worked myself into an anxious lather when i did not have an immediate response at the ready and fled into the woods to hide inside an old damp log and mutate slowly into a creature composed entirely of moss.

1) hey friend i think i can actually help with this one! slig did my poor lover for momma lisa, and has a few of my other skins linked to different body meshes in this tag here. @asimplevampire​ also did rehash for androgyny. those are the two i know off the top of my head but if anyone else knows any others pls reply to this post!

i don’t personally make showerproof skintones for body meshes because i a) am lazy and b) don’t usually take pics of my sims in the shower or naked in general so the occasional floating head just gives me a lil chortle when it does happen.

2) yis, it is the second to last one in this post by @magpieplayssims​ with a bunch of face masks piled on.

3) i use a personal edit of gunmod’s 3.1 A camera which alters the, like, central pivot axis so i can swing the camera underground into any basements i might be using. as a result, whenever i load the lot, it starts me off zoomed inside the floor, you just gotta zoom out with the scroll wheel to get above ground and it works normally from there. i haven’t figured out how to mitigate this while still being able to access underground rooms. which is why my edit never got its own post, but i did share it here.

4) nah, not really. i mean i have an outdated one at the back of my catalogue but my face is boring to me cuz i see it every day n stuff & i’m less and less interested in making human features now that custom sliders have let me go absolutely mad with power.

5) ye sorry i put that on my to-do list and promptly forgot about it cuz my brain seems to think that putting something on a list means it’s done forever now!!!! but now it’s actually done and i’m fixing the other links too.

6) yr phone is a craven liar and i will not stand for this libel. earlier today i was genuinely bewildered by a discussion about channing tatum cuz i thought his name was tatum channing. i sat there for minutes, convinced that there were two guys in hollywood one named channing tatum and the other named tatum channing and wondering if that ever got confusing for them.

7) u would be surprised, friend! my memory is a lawless wasteland but i do not end up chatting back and forth w/ many ppl b/c i am a seething pit of social anxiety. if we talked, like, more than twice, i probs remember u!

8) omg i was about to be like “nah i never made nosemasks for those” but that is a fucking lie of the highest caliber, i totally did make one (1) set and then forgot entirely about it. i will post them with the next batch of bodyshop content which should be Shortly (and if i don’t just yell @ me and i’ll just lazily put them on sfs and link them in a reply).

also thank u anon i am glad u like my content! :D

9) omg thank u so much anon that is so sweet of u to say!! truly i don’t feel like i have accomplished a whole lot beyond managing to snag @resurrection-failed​ but that is definitely the Best thing i could accomplish so i am 100% fine w/ that

10) oh ts4. i want to play it real bad but i have discovered that playing games that are still being updated and could break at any moment due to a new patch or ep gives me hives. esp when it’s sims games b/c those are held together exclusively w/ wishes and prayers as it is. they’re like the bottom panel of an expanding brain meme on spaghetti coding. at least when the game is Done there nothing else for EA to break (... right?). plus i only have base+pets and no money to throw at the other expansions so i could maybe download 1/10th of the cc available out there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but i am excited to be late af to the party. lemme tell u. thank u for saying such nice things, anon!! i hope u have a good day also. like, lots of ‘em.

11) hey anon! it’s built into tumblr’s text editor. u type the text first, highlight it, and click on the fourth button that looks like a slouchy figure 8 to insert yr link. i’m not sure if it’s the same on mobile, tho, cuz the tumblr mobile app is self-elected torture.

12) i do not right now but i can make one. idk if it would interest you but i am also doing a big ol’ blend of the hq eyes and wifezaya’s favorite ephemera mist eyes and will make a default version of those too when they are done.

13) nah i am still using my v3 texture for straight hairs and for waves or natural hair i just use nouk’s originals. i’m old-fashioned and boring. if u need help w/ making yr own, tho, i would suggest checking out @furbyq​’s tutorial here!

14) hey friend! i did have plans to do that, in that vague way where i have plans to do many things but most of the time end up taking a five-hour nap under a cat instead or watchin game grumps. luckily, @digitalangels​ is a doll and did it for me so consider this my official endorsement. i am pooklet and i approve this action.

15) hey anon. when did i call it that?? i think usually i just call it marriage or equal marriage if i need to specify (or gay marriage if i’m feelin Spicy cuz nonbinary-for-nonbinary is pretty gay). if i did say same-sex it was probs w/ implied air-quotes since that was the term du jour when we got married, which was 3+ years before the supreme court mandate, when it was only legal in some places and everyone was still ‘‘‘‘debating’’’’ the ‘‘‘‘issue’’’’ of queers gettin all married.

16) i been gatherin’ links for u anon but lemme look around a lil more. i will either give this its own post or add it as its own section in the resource post that is like .... five years overdue. meanwhile if anyone reading this has anything they either know is made for dark skin or works well universally or knows of a list like this that already exists, i would appreciate links!

17) I KNOW THAT’S YOU, AZAYA

[alters-and-pizza]

Brief explanation and update on my blog

I decided that I have too many random thoughts, and collectively everything that goes on in my head is a fucking circus, so naturally I came to turn my blog into my shitposting hellhole where you all have to suffer with what I post. So, for starters, the most important update is that I’m going to be talking more about my DID here. A lot of my close friends and loved ones know about it, and I’ve really come to terms with how it is and how I am with it. That and my Alters are cool so it’s not that big of a problem. I don’t like calling them “Personalities” because they’re a bit more complex than that and you’ll see that over time, it also just sounds dumb. Who am I? My name is Jack, I have DID, I like guns, anime, books, card games, random mobile games about waifus, vidya games (400+ steam games, lmfao) and petting people’s pets while I run deliveries. I deliver pizza. It’s a great job. My DID is annoying but the alters I have are cool so I guess it makes up for it.

How does my head work? Well my alters occupy my imagination, and as a result, I can enter what I call my “Mindscape” a place where I can associate with them and talk to them, as well as interact on a weird physical level that’s a lot like a lucid dream. It’s really confusing, and I was scared as hell for the first year of it but after a while I got use to it. We’ve got a big house, and nice forest, and a lake somewhere in that forest. It’s nice. I’ll probably end up describing the house and then posting a map I’ll draw in paint later.

Who are my alters? Well, I’ll tell ya.

Jason: A British-American, but a patriot all around. Jason has a love of firearms, the good ol USA, BBQ’d ribs and a cute girl named Diana. Outwardly he seems like a responsible, keen, and very kind man. Once you get to know him you discover that he’s a hybrid of a conservative and a hippy. The man likes his weed, his booze, and his guns, but that doesn’t make him any less of a helpful friend who’s talked me through a lot of shit. Jason has short, parted brunet hair that Diana keeps well trimmed, a strong, square face, and sharp grey-blue eyes. The man could stare through your soul, and usually wears military style clothing, he’s use to it and it’s comfy to him. Absolutely head over heels for Diana.

Diana:  A plucky, cute and thoughtful girl, Diana is basically the mom-friend of the group. She takes care of everyone, loves everyone, and tries her best. She likes books, anime and gardening. She’s also a bit of a pyromaniac, earning the title “Fire Demon” from Stevey, from the numerous times she’s set him ablaze for pissing her off. Which he deserved. Diana is a helpful girl, she’s talked me though a lot, and has helped many others. If you ask anyone, they’ll say she’s a pure, kind soul who loves to offer advice and has helped them in some way or another. Diana has brunette shoulder length hair, soft blue eyes that make your heart melt, a cute button nose and blue glasses. She’s typically in some color of blue because its her favourite, and she likes to wear comfy clothes that are still fashionable. If there’s one thing she loves above all else, it’s Jason. The two are inseparable.

Stevey: The only man to ever piss Diana off that she used violence against him. Stevey is... well... Stupid, absolutely fucking retarded really. Despite this, he’s incredibly smart and agile, he does dumb shit “for the lolz” and has gotten himself in trouble with me more times than I can count. He likes pranks, and sometimes takes them too far. He never learns through words, which is why I beat him like a redheaded step child. But despite this, he’s hilarious, absolutely horrible, and I love him. A short, blonde haired man with blue eyes full of mischief and a dark sense of wonder. The man only wears white shirts, blue jeans and black sneakers, anything else is some sort of elaborate prank.

Rick: A Russian genius in the scientific fields, mostly biology and chemistry. At first, he may seem like a cold, calculating genius who has all but lost his compassion, but the truth is that he’s forgetful and has resting bitchface. Rick is a teddy bear of a man, who likes hugs, hot cocoa, good books, cooking, tea and snacks. His favourite thing to do is collaborate with Asher on some grand elaborate idea that would likely not work in the real world, but is still challenging and fun to build, he likes to test his knowledge and skills. Rick has light orange hair, green eyes and big square head. Sarah lovingly calls him “The Big Russian Blockhead.” he likes wearing slacks, tight shirts, and loafers.

Jiro: A Japanese fellow who’s trained in martial arts, and the art of the shinobi. At first he seems cold, distant and rude. But he’s just got social anxiety, Jiro is a nice guy, friendly and always open to talk about anything and nothing at the same time. He likes to spar, throw knives, and practice his skills. Outside of that he’s a big fan of baseball, old books and card games, as well as D&D. He’s a massive nerd. Jiro has trimmed black hair, and grey eyes. He likes wearing black like an edgy emo kid. He spends a lot of time with Stevey, sometimes sparring, other times just playing around with a baseball or lazing around in the sun. Asher: TEXAS INCARNATE. Asher loves the old west, the pioneering spirit, and engineering. His mind was engineered to be an engineer, everything from mechanical to electrical, it fascinates him and he’s taken it upon himself to do everything in his power to learn it and work with it. Outside of that he’s a big fan of playing poker, drinking with friends, and hockey. Asher spends a lot of time in his workshop, but when he’s out and about he loves to talk and get along with people, he also likes to tell stories and embellish them a little bit. He and Rick go together like popcorn and cheese, its a weird combination when you first think about it, but once you see it in action you realize how horrifying the potential is. He has short blond hair that’s usually tucked under a cowboy hat or ball-cap. He’s got shiny blue eyes and likes to wear welding masks. He also likes to wear jeans, button up shirts, and cowboy boots. He’s handy, dandy, and all around a great person to hang out with.

Sarah: Sarah is a laid back, tomboy kind of girl. Sarah can be a bit hotheaded, but otherwise she’s chill. Sarah likes sports, mostly playing them, she also likes to play with explosives, and she’s good at it too. She’s also come to enjoy some vidya, mostly FPS games. She likes to sing loudly in the car, in the shower, or wherever there’s music playing, she likes to drive around, and she loves dogs. Sarah has a firm and respect and love for me, the first time we met, we drew guns on eachother and neither one of us let up until Diana came in the room and said “Oh hey look it’s my sister.” At which point Sarah came to discover, and continued to delight in the fact that I treated her like everyone else. Quote “You don’t treat me like a girl. You treat me like you’d treat Rick, or Jason, and I really respect that.” Sarah has blond hair that she usually ties up in a ponytail and blue eyes that are full of determination and fire. She likes to wear athletic clothes, mostly jogging shorts and tank tops, she doesn’t really care what she looks like but that’s because the only person who’s opinion matter’s to her, says she looks great anyway.

Anyway that’s all for my alters, if you have any questions or want to get to know us better, feel free to ask questions, we’ll be running the blog sort of like an “Ask Me” blog except we’ll also be shitposting at random because that’s just how we do it.

[safyresky]

92 Truths

I’M SO MAD I WANTED TO BE THE DOUBLE TAGGER BUT @mellomadness BEAT ME TO IT?????? I was originally tagged by @thewayhistoryiswritten. They tagged the whole fam so now I am gonna just sneak in here and be the TRIPPLE TAGGER B)

This one is really long?? So if you’re not about people oversharing on the internet then just skip down using “J” or blacklist long post, cause that’s what I’ll tag this as :)

(I would put a read more but half the people who tagged me use mobile and those don’t show up on mobile so...my apologies!)

Anyway let’s get to it, shall we?

LAST…

[1] drink: hot chocolate. for those keeping up with my roll up the rim #struggles, 15/15 have NOT won. 

[2] phone call: Richard, my lovely bf who couldn’t remember the cereal my sister wanted

[3] text message: my sister who has no idea what food I have at home and is staying until Sunday and needs to eat

[4] song you listened to: One of the songs off the Steven Universe music playlist I have on soundcloud

[5] time you cried: Watching Moana last week it just gets me EVERY TIME the powerful I AM MOANA!!!!! I JUST YES. YES YOU ARE. YOU ARE AND I AM A WRECK

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Nope

[7] been cheated on: In a way yes but also no.

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope

[9] lost someone special: Yes.

[10] been depressed: low key all of last year? it was a struggle. and not like diagnosed depressed just...feeling sad ALL the TIME and WORTHLESS and people would tell me you’re great and I just wouldn’t believe them b/c it didn’t feel like I was great at all. I couldn’t even write about my shitty frosty children I just....couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but think about how shitty things were going and how much I wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep and forget about life

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: I have never gotten drunk to the point of throw up but hey, tomorrow is paddy’s day and my sister wants me to get “turnt” and “wasted” so we’ll see if I go over my comfortable drunk limit of 5 alcohols. Will keep you posted!

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] Blue

[13] Light blue

[14] Orange (Were you expecting more blue?? Hehe)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yes!

[16] fallen out of love: No, I’ve just made my relationship STRONGER

[17] laughed until you cried: Oh my god yes I live in a house with 3 other immature young adults who are stressed to the max you would be surprISED how often one of us laughing until we cry happens

[18] found out someone was talking about you: Not in bad ways!

[19] met someone who changed you: I don’t think so, though my current friends may have effected my humour just a tad ;)

[20] found out who your true friends are: Yeah, actually! A lot of realizations happened this year let me tell you *side eyes my shitty pal who makes things about herself constantly*

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: I mean Richard is my facebook friend so...yes? We’ve been dating for 5 years though so idk how much that counts?? Cause he’s my SO???

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them I know well enough, I don’t add total strangers

[23] do you have any pets: My cat! Cinnamon! He’s so cute and such an affectionate lil bud for being a stray a year ago like what a cat I love him s o  m u c h he’s so sILLY

[24] do you want to change your name: I love my name very much. It can be spunky (Dani), elegant (Ella), and a mix of them both (Daniella!)

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I turned 21 and...I actually can’t recall?? I think Richard and I went out to dinner and OH NOW I REMEMBER!

We went to the Works and he surprised me with all of my good friends being there and then we went home and he got me an ICE CREAM CAKE and my housemates put my gifts in a suitcase b/c we had no wrapping stuffs welcome to Student Life my guys

[26] what time did you wake up: At 7AM today b/c I had an 8:30

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was messaging Ana bean and making my bed because my sister wanted to sleep and my sheets had just finished washing

[28] name something you cannot wait for: Summer! I have a job, I’m staying in Kingston, I’M GONNA PLANT SHIT!!!! IT’S gonna be gr8!!

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: In February for reading week!

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish my parents hadn't struggled so much when I was younger, b/c then I would have had decent RESP’s and wouldn’t owe the government so much money for school Dx

[31] what are you listening to right now: The chatter of nearby people eating lunch (I forgot my headphones today I’m real upset)

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: You know, I see soo many people in one shift that one of them was probably named Tom tbh

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: FIFTEEN (15) ROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN CUPS AND NOT A SINGLE WIN. EVERYONE I KNOW HAS WON SOMETHING BUT NOT ME I AM BITTER AF THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST YEAR FOR ME FOR ROLL UP THE RIM

[34] most visited website: this blue hellhole 

[35] elementary: St Herbert down the street from home. Everyone made fun of it and called it St Hubert’s, like the chicken place?? It bugged me as a kid now I’m like lmao yeah too bad they don’t have good chicken there

[36] high school: St Joe’s near my house! Commonly known as St Joe’s Hoes b/c there was a prostitute ring in the bathrooms in the 90s apparently??? And also everyone wore their kilts really high up. Those got banned. I was bitter I loved the kilt it was very warm

[37] college: Queen’s U! 

[38] hair colour: It is Chestnut brown, according to Laurentian pencil crayons (it’s dark brown enough that my boyfriend thought it was black for the first year and a half we knew each other hahaha)

[39] long or short hair: I like it longer because then I can put it up a lot?? Though mid-length is usually my go to

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Does my boyfriend count. B/c if so then hecka yes

[41] what do you like about yourself?: My eyebrows SLAY. I like that I have managed to build up my patience so much. I like that I’m super creative and helpful and I like that I try to be as supportive as possible and usually pals are like ye u are supportive which does me a GOOD right in the heart!! I am being a HELP!!

[42] piercings: just my ears!! i’ve always wanted a nose piercing ha but I wouldn’t go through with it, my pain tolerance is exactly 0

[43] blood type: No idea!

[44] nickname: Dani

[45] relationship status: In a relationship with the most WONDERFUL FLUFF EVER Richard is really gr8 okay I could talk about him for days what a guy

[46] zodiac sign: Libra

[47] pronouns: She/her

[48] fav tv show: Steven Universe

[49] tattoos: none. if I got one it would be a shooting star somewhere inconspicuous 

[50] right or left handed: right handed! for most things. I do use my left hand for odd things, like using a fork w/ a knife

FIRST… [51] surgery: wisdom teeth when I get them out this summer

[52] piercing: My ears when I was 2 months old or so

[53] best friend: PLEASE DO NOT AS ME THIS I HAVE MANY MANY BIFFERS (Richard, AJ, Ana, Jess, Athena...)

[54] sport: skiing 

[55] vacation: Mexico when I was 7! Maybe younger, I can’t recall. 

[56] pair of trainers: I just have converse?? Do they count??

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Timbits

[58] drinking: Just finished a hot chocolate

[59] i’m about to: Finish a seminar response and then scream internally until I can go home

[60] listening to: People talking, still (there’s a lot of repeat questions here)

[61] waiting for: Class time

[62] want: A nap or two, a raise at work

[63] get married: One of these days! I keep asking Richard if we can just go to the courthouse and ELOPE but he keeps saying “yes let’s do that before we get married just go to a courthouse and wait on the big fancy ceremony until we can afford it!! He’s very set on being able to have a place for ourselves and such before hand which I agree with. But I still really wanna run to the courthouse one day and just fucking do it man)

[64] career: a writer with fame to rival that of J.K. Rowling, for instance, or the archaeologist who discovers Atlantis!

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: Hugs! I’m a really cuddly fuck but I love giving Richard kisses ALL OVER HIS FACE he gets soo happy!!

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes

[67] shorter or taller: Taller so I look cute when I attempt to be the big spoon, and so I can fit under the chin of my SO for MAXIMUM HUG

[68] older or younger: Older (irony b/c Richard is exactly 9 months older than me)

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Both? Both. Both is good.

[71] sensitive or loud: Both? Both. Both is good.

[72] hook up or relationship: Relationship b/c I am not into the sex thing that much, occasionally yes but also not with a stranger?? I don;t look at someone like “I wanna tap that” usually my thought is “They’re pretty” or “I love their jacket” or “HOW DID THEY EYELINER???? THAT GOOD???” (Like ANA’S EYELINER OMG YOU ARE A MASTER AT THE EYELINER ANA PLEASE TEACH ME UR WAYS).

The only instance of “I wanna tap that” occurs like once in a full moon or two when I stare at Richard a v long time and thing HE IS SO WONDERFUL AND LOVELY I LOVE HIM LET’S GO RIGHT NOW INTO THE BED (TMI alert my guys, haha whoops)

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, though I can be a shit disturber, ask AJ. And Ana. And my other housemates, especially Richard. I can be a nuisance and have been confirmed to be an occasional menace >:)

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Nope

[75] drank hard liquor? It depends on your definition? Sometimes I have a liqueur with my Dad but idk if it counts as hard liquor, it’s usually a Bailey’s

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? ASK AJ I CONSTANTLY CANNOT FIND MY GLASSES B/C I CAN EVER REMEMBER WHERE I LEFT THEM

[77] turned someone down: In the most passive way possible. Fun fact: I once “friend-zoned” Richard, ha

[78] sex on first date? Heck no, I gotta know a guy or gal REALLY WELL before being like YES LET US ENGAGE IN COITUS, That is something I share with someone I trust fully and completely, not random people I meet on the first date (do people actually do that??) 

[79] broken someone’s heart? Probably?? I dunno

[80] had your own heart broken? Omg yes when I was a lil pre-high schooler, dear me

[81] been arrested? HA no

[82] cried when someone died? Heck yes! real people, fictional characters...I’m a mess

[83] fallen for a friend: Every crush I have ever had began with a friendship so yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? Usually, yes!! I had a bad bout of thinking nothing would turn out right the past year but I’m back in the swing of thinking “It’ll be okay, you can do it”

[85] miracles? I think yes

[86] love at first sight? Love at first sight is a MYTH. Love takes time, patience. Love takes getting to know someone really well and knowing how you work with them and how they work with you. Love takes a lot and if love at first sight is a thing, it’s more like the IDEA of a person, not who they really really are.

[87] santa claus? For real, yes, I actually do b/c when I had lost my belief already, there was one year where my siblings (who had been naughty) weren’t on the christmas party lists at my parents work for gifts, and I was. So yeah. I have a solid belief in Santa make fun all you want idgaf 

[89] angels? Very much so. Ethereal angels and angels here I meet that have a profound impact on my life

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: I HAVE MANY but in no order, Richard, AJ, Jess, Ana, Athena... 

[91] eye colour: Brown

[92] favourite movie: Moana, Grease, Atlantis, El Dorado. Those are my top four. I think.

GOOD GRIEF THIS WAS A LONG ONE I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY AJ, YOU TOO MELLO. @divinitycas here is a third tag because yolo?? I guess??? Anyone else who likes to overshare on the internet please, be my guest!!! AND THEN TAG ME I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT OTHERS!!

[midwesttiltking-blog]

18- Most Beautiful Plague

This is not a direct continuation but the next part following Garrett’s story from what a posted last week. I tried out a different writing technique in this one to show what two characters are going through at the same time. Tell me how you feel about it

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin stood in the backyard admiring his new blade. They had received the supplies from Paul. Kevin and Matt both wore bullet proof vests. Inside the shoulders of Kevin had attached a cape. A black flag with a spray painted fist overtop of a heart. Along with the vests they had received a whole arsenal of guns and grenades and Paul sent a sword specially crafted for Kevin. He held it up to the sunlight, unlike the katana he preferred this was a straight blade. The metal was long and narrow a shimmering silver. The cross hilt resembled golden wings with a brilliant Ruby in the center. Along the the edge of the blade a beautifully elegant engraving read ‘The light within darkness. The voice of the silent’. Kevin lowered the blade pointing it toward Matt “What should I name it?”

Matt Shrugged “I don't know swords are just tools I never consider naming mine”

“The Pig Slayer?”

“Nah, that makes it sound like a prison shank”

“Hmmmmmm” Kevin flourished the blade then jumped swinging the blade upward.

“You aren’t going to name it the falchion”

“How did you know that is what I was thinking?!”

“It’s not a god damned falchion!”

Garrett wandered the streets of Lansing. The city wasn’t anything like the ones him and Matt had liberated. There were no bodies laying around. There were no broken buildings. The city looked perfectly preserved and completely empty. From time to time Garrett would duck into buildings to avoid drones and armored vehicles which patrolled the street. Garrett looked through buildings around the city trying to find anyone or anything that may lead him to Klint.

“Where the hell is he” Garrett punched through a window. He immediately heard the sound of an armored vehicle approaching the building he was in. He dove behind the counter holding his breath. After a few moments he heard the vehicle pull away and he walked back out onto the streets.

“Luna” Kevin grinned waiting for Matt’s snide response.

“You are going to name your sword after her? Risky, what if you guys break up?”

“Not gunna happen”

“What if a pirate swoops in and steals her from you” Matt drew his blade and approached Kevin.

“I’ll take down your whole fleet to get her back! I’ve seen the way you look at her when you guys practice in the mornings! I’ve seen her blush at your comments. I’ll have your head Pirate King”

Moon laughed hearing Kevin’s declaration as she slide open the door to the back yard.

Kevin turned to look at her but before he could say anything Matt knocked his sword out of the way and placed his blade at Kevin’s throat “You will do no such thing you haughty peasant. You will never reach the princess because you are weak.”

Moon jumped from the porch drawing her blade and clashing with Matt “This princess doesn’t need saving” She clashed blades with Matt a few times before kicking him away.

Kevin ran to her side and knelled, crossing his blade over his heart “m’lady please give me the honor of slaying knave in your stead”

Moon sighed as she put her blade away “You are right he is too lowly for the likes of me. Do your best servant and you will be rewarded properly when we reach the homeland”.

Garrett looked down at the phone Kevin had given him. The battery was still alive. He opened the contacts for a moment, then shut the screen off and continued on. Getting hungry Garrett decided to look for something to eat. To his surprise the Nuthouse was lit up as if still operational. He slowly approached the building, from the outside he could see figures moving around inside. Once he got to the doors he saw they were humans, his muscles relaxed as he pulled the door open. The waitress seated him and took his order “Double whiskey coke and the biggest burger you have on your menu, and an order of wings” Garrett sat calmly eating, the TV’s replayed an old UFC fight, Garrett watched mentally critiquing their techniques and considering adding some of the moves to his arsenal. A waiter approached the table “ Are you enjoying your meal Garrett?”

“How’d you know who I am?”

The waiter grabbed Garrett and began to lift him up. Garrett grabbed his fork stabbing it into the waiter's arm, the fork went down an inch and stopped. No blood came out from the stabbed wound as Garrett pulled the fork back. “Calm down Garrett”

“What the fuck?!”

“I’m glad to see how much energy you still have, you truly are a great friend. This was one of my favorite places, so I got it operating as soon as I could. Eventually the whole city will be like this.”

Garrett struggled to break free from the waiters grip. Eventually wiggling his arm loose he punched the waiter in the face, causing his assailant's neck to snap back and cables became exposed. Garrett shook his hand in pain after the hit and picked up the knife tackling the robot to the ground. “You are strong. You will be more valuable as an undead than erased” The robot raised a finger against Garrett’s skin. With his other arm it pressed Garrett’s shoulder forward. Using his free arm Garrett sawed away at the exposed cables. Before he could finish the robot off the machine punctured his skin. He did not react to the pain as he dragged the knife across the robot’s throat cutting loose the cables.

Kevin stood up, he and Matt tapped the edges of their blades together and started their battle. Kevin tried to wield the sword with only one hand at first but found his speed had dropped significantly. Once Kevin switched over Matt struggled to hold his defense against Kevin's heavy strikes. He amped up his footwork to compensate aiming to wear Kevin out before looking to strike. Kevin chased him around the yard swinging wildly. Matt blocked a strike and lead Kevin’s blade to the ground. Kevin attempted to pull  it out of the dirt but before he could the basket hilt from Matt’s blade impacted his chest. He flew back wards his chest heaving trying to catch his breath. Moon walked down and put her arms around Matt.

“They will be here soon don’t worry” The waitress now speaking to him. Garrett stood up testing the mobility of his left arm. The injury was surprisingly shallow not affecting his ability to move very much. He grabbed a chair and ran at the waitress “You’ll lead a better life, you should thank me”. The chair smashed against the robot knocking it to the ground. He lifted the greeter's podium and dropped it on the robot’s head. “You’ll get to be with her again.” Now the voice came from the  bartender.

Garrett jumped over the bar putting his hands on the robot’s throat “When I find you Klint. I going to put my hands on your throat like this and I’m going to hold you there for as long as you can handle it, and just before you pass out i'm going to squeeze every inch of your will to live out of your fucking body. Hearing the bones in your neck crack will sound like angels singing to me”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that Garrett” He snapped the robot's neck bringing an end to the conversation.

“Looks like you are too weak, just like the Pirate King said. I guess I'll spend my days making sweet sweet love to him” Moon ran her hand along Matt’s cheek

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Kevin ran towards Matt hammering his blade down. Matt barely able to block fell backward to the ground. Putting his left hand to the back of his blade he sustained the next strike. Spit flew from Kevin’s mouth, his teeth grit as he continued the attack. “You! Won’t! Take! Her! From! ME!” Matt rolled to the side kicking out Kevin’s right leg. As Kevin fell to the ground he drew his secondary blade blocking a slash aimed at his chest. He swung with Luna stopping just before hitting Matt’s shoulder. “I DID IT!” Kevin stood up and pointed his sword to the sky “Luna is a powerhouse!”

Garrett walked behind the bar, grabbing a bottle of whiskey he opened it and poured some onto his wound then took a swig. He tore of some part of the shirt the robo-bartender was wearing and tied it around his arm. He winced as he struggled to tie off his bloody shoulder, the pain began to set in. He pulled the cellphone out again. Fiddling with it for a few moments having trouble moving his hand steady to navigate the menu’s. He got to the contacts and scrolled down to a name “Jack Leader Of The Rebellion.”

Matt got to his feet and bowed “It was an honor fighting you, may we both learn and grow from this battle”

“Ah all cordial in a lost but no mercy in a victory huh? I see how you are!” Kevin sheathed his blade and patted Matt on the back, “Well let’s go see how Darrin is doing with the battle training huh?”

They made their way toward the old elementary school Kevin swung his arms excessively looking up to the sky as he walked. Moon ruffled his hair to get his attention “you know you’ve gotten pretty strong since we’ve started this adventure.”

He shrugged “really you think so?”

“Yeah, you were exchanging blows with Garrett, now you beat Matt in a duel”

“You helped” Matt muttered from the back.

She tilted her head back to Matt over her shoulder “Barely, he beat you fair and square”. Pulling herself back to Kevin she continued “It’s pretty incredible when you think about it, not like Darrin or I have gotten that much better”

Kevin smiled at her “Well if you believe in yourself you can do anything” Matt and Moon sighed in unison.

“Row row fight the power” Kevin’s phone began to ring. The screen read “The God of War”. Kevin froze in his tracks as he answered the phone.

“Hey bro, what’s up”

“Hey Kevin… I think I fucked up.

“Look man, you don’t have to apologize”

“Nah, I think I’m done. He’s got patrol cars, robots all over the city, don’t trust any humans you see”

“What do you mean your done”

“I’m feeling weak. I don’t think I can fight anymore”

“Don’t give up Garrett, were coming to get you rig-”

“No. Don’t, don’t risk your life for me, This is where it ends for me. I’m so sorry”

“Don’t talk to me like that Garrett. Y-y-ou are s-s-s-still breathing it isn’t over!”

“I saw you there. I saw all of us together, and I just couldn’t shake this feeling, that it’s never gunna be the same ever again. Those good old days are never coming back. I’ll never see her again, I’ll never be able to smile the way you do”

“I never wanted you to go Garrett. I didn’t want this! I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s not your fault Kevin. Just make sure when you see him. You remember what he did to me, what he did to your other friends. Don’t let him talk you out of your convictions.”

“When I have kids, I going to tell them you killed a million zombies in the final battle and saved everyone”

“Heh, at least somebody will remember me fondly”

“Garrett. No matter our differences, I always fucking loved you.”

“Love you to bro”

Kevin hung up his phone and wiped away a few tears, not responding to the questions Matt and moon fired at him.

Garrett stood up facing a horde of zombies. He whipped the phone into the crowd knocking a few over. He vaulted over the bar and flew first first into the fray. His first hit knocking a zombie's head clear off. Another one grabbed his wounded arm. Turning his wrist he grabbed the zombies arm as well and pulled backward ripping the zombies arm off as it fell to the ground. The next bit his open arm the monster’s teeth failing to pierce his skin. With the zombie still clamped he bashed his forearm against a column the Zombies skull separated at the jaw the bottom half collapsing to the ground while the top rolled forward off of his arm. He kicked a chair up into a few zombies. Rushed forward he tackled them to the ground the chair separating him from the rotting flesh. His fist continuously pounded down smashing the flesh bags into paste. Garrett felt a pinch on his calf turning to see the now armless zombie attempting to feast on him. He turned back putting both hands on the zombies skull he pushed inward until the skull shattered. Another zombie bit his shoulder. Its teeth reaching his open wound. He flipped onto his back his shoulder smashing the zombie into the floor. Flipping up to his feet he looked on seeing the hoard was still fighting to get into the bar. He swung his arms in a wide stance sending zombies flying every direction. He pushed one zombie against the wall. Forcefully ramming his fist into the undead. He ripped out a rib bone. Using the bone he pierced the zombie straight through the forehead and pulled it out. Using the bone as a dagger he stabbed into the next one's throat it, it caught on some tended and he pulled again losing the head from the body. His breath began to fail him as he fought back the hoard. Eventually one was able to knock him over. His sight began to fade as he swung out randomly. Finally he opened his fist. From the back of his waistband he pulled out the pistol Darrin had given him. He put it to his head and pulled the trigger. He felt no heat, heard no bang. The gun was empty. Garrett laughed as he let it fall to the floor. “I’m sorry Ericka. I’m so useless.”