#i am one ep away from being fully caught up i cant

[alfazoings]

redraw of that one exchange in ep 29 cuz that entire intro scene lives in my brain rent free

[storiesofsvu]

Okay, im gonna preface this by saying that i normally post these directly after watching, so the chaos no context makes a little bit more sense but i was way too tired to deal with uploading after the ep last night... reading it back.... i DID enjoy the episode and did think it was a good one! props to director Aisha. i just think that *between* the eps this season, they keep flitting back and fourth between the style of how they're executing adding in new unsubs/connections to gold star/whatever and my brain can't follow it sometimes (esp at 2 in the morning when i'm getting tired lol).

Alright, considering I normally stay up til the crack of dawn something about making me stay up til 2am for these eps makes me exhausted. I blame the heat. Here we go!

I know that the format of the show is to keep us connected with individual ep unsubs, but none of us CARE. Either make us fully invested in the gold star/north star shit, OR make it the back seat story arc while these new unsubs are suddenly the bau’s focus like they did in the last season!!!

…unless that was morse code and is connected..

BUT STILL!

Make it make sense and be connected to the viewer before starting the scene

I don’t give a fuck about these guys…. Give me the people im waiting for

If you want me to care about eps that are stylized like cm s 1-15 then you have to make them ALL that way, you can’t pick and choose. Make me focus on gold star/elias/Jade from the last couple eps or nothing. You cant switch styles halfway through the season… no matter how intriguing that COULD be im automatically uninterested because its not the same style

Is tyler getting paid for this shit? Or is he just like.. hanging out and having fun?

LLOOLLL not Emily profiling tylers handwriting

PLEASE give us more and ALL dr tara lewis, she’s already been unappreciated as a character, but as a DOCTOR, please, she so smrt. Give us all if it

AS IF that many boxes contain EVERYTHING for four years!

Dad!rossi: I forbid you

Em: fuck you dad imma do it anyway

LOOOLL “ive never been forbidden before…” THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE SAYS BEFORE THEY DEFY ORDERS. I WOULD KNOW

Ok.. NOW this unsub storyline has caught my attention but I am confused lol. Seems very heartbreaking either way

God Emily is so fucking gorgeous

Jfc how smart is tyler?? Imma need to do a deep dive on this…

Man voit is a better fucking profiler than half the team, if he wasn’t…. ya know… a serial killer.. LOL

HHAHAHAHA omg tyler

Yess! Another VVERY NATURAL FUCK! I don’t care what anyone says, the more natural swears are the ones that I love the most!

Garcia’s so fucking hot…

Hotch “left the unit a few years ago” bruh that was at least a decade

LOL JILL IS ME

NOT FELICITY HUFFMAN OPENING WITH A FUCK

JFC. SHES SO HOT its giving elizabeth Mitchell

Looooolllll fucking rossi…

Jj and luke work super well together and I love it

Loooll Emily throwing tyler in last minute just like she planned and jill calling her on it RIGHT AWAY LOL

NOT THE GUILT TRIP LOL

“not even Jason was this manipulative”

WTF??? This some supernatural/insane shit. Is the wife even alive anymore?? Is he hallucinating that?

Aaand jj and luke have figured it out and this shit is fire

They got this girl locked up like joe from you

Jesus CHRIST this took a twist and I love it but AGAIN, I would love it so much more If it was the primary focus of the ep

Ooooo CALLED IT

God that’s heartbreaking

How THE FUCK DOES SICARIOUS STILL HAVE ACCES TO HIS NETWORK IN JAIL??

OMG Jill instantly hugging Penelope makes me SO WARM

Uuggghhh jill being dragged back into this is not fucking fair.. like… she left.. Jason DEFINTELY left.. that poor queen

JESUS that cut to rossi was straight out of a horror film where he WAS THE KILLER jfc

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 16.10.17 lb

this is my 4th IB episode of the fucking day. hahahaha fuck me why am i such a masochist????? 

puri ki puri paltan ek ke peeche ek.

LMAO ANIKA BADI URDU PHOOT RAHI HAI. 

khud ko hi adaab kar rahi hai. i love this stupid girl soooo much. 

GOD YUCK I HATE SHIVAAY KE YEH DUM MAARO DUM WAALE SUNGLASSES SO MUCH.

oh tanya, girl, leave his ungrateful asssssssssss already.

after using him for sex. coz #uhHuhHoneyyyyyyyyyy 😏😏😏

ugh fuckkkkkkkkkk rudraaaa i really don’t wanna see his bullshit plot.

RUDRA YOU LITERALLY GOT A JOB LIKE YESTERDAY, COULD YOU FUCKING SHOW UP THERE INSTEAD OF FLYING OFF TO GOA TO PARTY

PLEASE ABHAY; JUST TAKE YOUR REVENGE ON THE OBEROIS BY KILLING RUDRA. 

SOMEONE GIVE THIS GIRL A FUCKING MEDAL FOR DEALING WITH THE BHOSADPAPPU THAT IS RUDRA SINGH OBEROI 🥇🥇🥇

lol airport mein security ki kya zaroorat, when Shivaay’s Awareness™ waala radar is always on alert. 

wow anika, maangne par hi seeeeedha face to face. 

anika, you should have at least switched up your eye makeup to throw him off a little. 

ok shivaay, burkhewaali ko zyaada ghoorega toh andar ho jayega.  

wifey senses tinglingggggg!!!!!! 

OMFG HER HYDERABADI URDU HAHAHAHA

oh hoooooooooo “aniSa begum”, yahaan bhi tadi. he’s going to knowwwwwww!!!

tanya also has catchphrase just like her hubby - “agar tum smart ho, toh main bhi OVERSMART hoon.”

the thing is, she reallly really isn’t. she isn’t even basic level smart? sigh. 

how did she know shivaay’s going to goa??? 

oh god bua and the don. fwding. 

OK BHAVYA, KNEE THIS FUCKER IN THE NUTS ALREADY

lol her name is baby???? pakka mallu christian hogi. 

UM HOW IS SHE CALLING BHAVYA AUNTY???? when she herself looks older than jhanviiiiiii also???????

mansi’s skin is looking hella bad in the last few eps. girl, kuch facial-vacial karao.

ok shivaay, you’re acting hellllla shady in an airporttttttttt. you’re going to get fucking arrested. 

ouffff more of this bua-don nonsense. 

omfg hahahahaha shivaay’s double take on seeing tanya. i cackledddd. 

why did he just randomly kick the bag??? 

oh nooooooooo, meds gir gaye! beech flight attack aa jayega is idiot ko! 

oh good. wife has seen. and to the rescue. as usual. this man would be dead and reincarnated into his 5th avatar by now if not for her. 

oh shit he knows. HE KNOWSSSS. 

OK SHIVAAY, YOU DON’T JUST GO GRABBING AT RANDOM WOMEN LIKE THAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK THEY’RE YOUR WIFE. 

LMAO SHE KEEPS SAYING “SHUFFUR” FOR “SHOHAR” 

ok so shivaay just goes around correcting EVERYONE’S language then, not just people he knows. what an insufferable twit. 

OK ANIKA, STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOUR SHOHAR LIKES TO BREAK MOBILE PHONE-AA. YOU’RE TIPPING HIM OFF. 

LMAOOOOOOO SHE JUST RAN AWAY 

“yeh 100% anika hai.”

patidev ka sensor aaj tak kabhi fail hua hai kya???? 😆😆😆

fwding bua - don nonsense. 

“shivaay kitne bade chantumaiiii hai, burkhe mein pehchaan liya!”

pffftttt, anika you idiot; it’s not like you made it particularly difficult for him. 

oh great, buaji is here. and she’s seen anika. 

OH GOD TANYA TOO. 

OH NO BUAJI LOCKED ANIKA IN THE TOILET

why does the toilet lock from the outside in the first place?!?!!?!

LMAOOOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHA BUAJI LOCKED TANYA INSTEAD OF ANIKA 

they’re gonna fuck shivaay over and go on another flight to some place else??? 

UGH RUDRA AND HIS STUPIDDDDD BABY ARE WE GOING TO WASTE ALL THE EPISODE ON THIS GARBAGE, SHOW ME MY DIL KA PREET DILPREET AND MY BABY BIRDIE GAURI

who the fuckkkkkkkkk is mona and why is this don being weird around anika??? 

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RUN ANIKA RUNNNNNNNN 

lollllllllllllllllll shivaaay’s confusion waale double takes seeing real wife, fake wife, family members, uske upar awareness waali ghanti bhi baj rahi hai zor zor se sar mein. i can’t stop cackling at his haalat. 

HE’S WEARING NOT EXACTLY A SUBTLE SUIT, USKE UPAR YELLOW GOGGLES AND HOPING NOT TO BE NOTICED BY HIS OWN DAMN PARENTS WHAT AN IDIOT 

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I KNEW THEY’D SCREW SHIVAAY OVER. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BETA YEH (LITERALLY) TERE BAAP HAI. 

LOOK AT THEIR SMUGGGGGG GRINS. I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTT. 

lol tanyaaaa is so behind the curve. 

so finally it’s just gonna be shivika and ruvya in goa. 

YESSSSS BHAVYA, FUCK HIM OVERRRRRRR. I WANT HIM DEAD. 

god anika, you really need to get a fucking life. honestly just, idk get a job or something, man. have some interests outside of your dumbass husband. 

i can’t concentrate on anything shivaay is thinking because my god wtf is this outfit. it’s just so fucking ugly. 

ENOUGH OF THIS GARBAGE GIMME RIKARAAAAAAAA

OUFFFFF NOOOO NOT MORE TANYAAAAA

sup abhay. hot as ever, i see. 

also still a chooth, i see.

OUFF WHAT IS WITH THESE 4 LIONS GIRLS AND GETTING INTO THE BOOTS OF CARS

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO OMG SHE GOT INTO THE BOOT OF THE WRONG CAR HAHAHAHA THIS IS NOTTTT A GOOD DAY FOR TANYA

ok how can you just request an update on a patient like that???? 

great. abhay’s gonna go murder shukla.

WHAT? SHIVAAY SINGH OBEROI IS FLYING COACH?????? THIS IS THE MOST UNREALISTIC THING THIS SHOW HAS EVER SHOWN. EVER. EVEN MORE THAN THE FREEZER DABBA FACE MASK KAALA JAADOOO STUFF. 

lmaooooo even the flight attendant is like “mr. oberoi aap economy class mein???” 

“haan i just wanted to experience, goa jaana economy class mein, HOW DOES IT FEEL.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

why the fuck is bhavya just… standing around? he didn’t get her a seat??? aise khade hokar jayegi kya goa, as if this is a local train? 

YAAAAAAAAAAS OMG TELL ME SHIVAAY CAUGHT HIM BEING AN ASSHOLE AND IS GOING TO SLAP SOME SENSE INTO HIM 

lmao why are these two reacting like they haven’t seen each other… 

oh wait, yes they haven’t seen each other since shivaay went missing a few weeks ago. 

aw, even bhavya’s happy to see shivaay. 

PLEASE SHIVAAY. HE IS GONNA RUN THE WHOLE THING INTO THE GROUND. STOP PLAYING COPS AND ROBBERS AND FOCUS ON YOUR BUSINESS ALREADY. 

aw, shivaay’s happy to see bhavya too! how cute.

rudra fully knows shivaay will beat his ass if he knows the truth so he’s lying through his teeth. 

OMFG WHAT EVEN IS THIS SUNDARI BUA PLOTTTTT DIAMONDS ON HER TEETH I CANT EVEN

ANSWER THE QUESTION ABOUT YOUR WIFE, SHIVAAY!!!!!!

ok om ka naam hi mat lo, fucking this whole episode has been such a waste of time without my dilpreet’s cuteness. 

LOL RUDRA’S REACTION ON HEARING SHIVAAY’S FLYING COACH

who these fuckingggg randos? 

oh richa ka mangetar. and some other ugly.

ohhhhhhhhhh god ugly’s fallen in love with gauri already.

why isn’t mangetar telling friend that she’s married???? 

aaaaaaaaaaand abhay’s here to murder shukla. 

but the murder foursome are here too. 

siiiiiiiiiiiigh, these people are going to stress shukla into fucking dying. 

wow. shukla’s a wafaadaar one. 

did he even actually say anything or just awaiiii ka chutiyaapa aur time waste??? 

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON???? PLANE MEIN NAACH GAANA????? SHIVAAY’S GONNA THINK THIS IS WHAT GOES DOWN IN COACH ON THE REGULAR. 

and great. he’s standing there and philosophizing about love which… god i don’t even have the strength to touch today. 

[auraelmusicud-blog]

401: 1.1 Contextual Analysis

I have always felt and been different to my peers, friends and family like I didn't fit in or have the same aspirations in life. I never wanted to stay in once place and live an ‘ordinary’ life. I had this big vision of being an entertainer and I remember the moment I was about 7 watching this Jennifer lopez music video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kGvlESGvbs and saying I wanted to be a popstar.

However I struggled with confidence singing out loud to people especially on stage although I have been performing as a dancer since age 10. I didn't begin doing music until i was 18 during college in a girl group, which was at first my ultimate dream and so much fun. I was the quietest and believed my voice was the weakest. I used to compare myself to the Beyonce’s and Rihanna’s with the power voices. However out of us all I am the one pursuing the solo career now and I have learnt to love my unique soft vocals. The need for me to do music was present at this point due to my happiness.  I missed music so much I was deeply lost but didn't know how to find love in what I do again. I tried acting after working in a casting agency when I finished college. Then I decided I should go to study at university. Initially with the interest of working in international trade and then going on to pursue finance because i had always been good at academia.

I started writing but never thought I could be a songwriter or even want to be one. I was led back into it when I met a producer I wrote a song and decided I was able to be the solo artist. Later my song was released on iTunes and by then I hated the song because it had been over a year and I had changed a lot but it opened doors to work with other producers. I did another single with a french producer who eventually flew me out to Paris to work with him.

My first producer also wanted to be my manager and became too controlling and had all the wrong intentions for me. I wasn't getting the instrumentals and sound i` was looking for. Eventually  after a disagreement. I wasnt connecting with any local producers and felt they were not connecting with me as I didn't have much to show for myself at this point.  I decided I didn't want to depend on people and waiting for things or sessions so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

A french producer found me on soundcloud and had sent me a lot of instrumentals but I hadn't had the time to look at them due to university. I began going through and one caught my attention https://soundcloud.com/aurael/all-about-you2/s-lclFy after that I found more that I liked and began writing to them and recording. Soon enough I decided a theme for the project would be based on the motions of feelings you go through in a relationship.  I titled it ‘Feel’ and self funded it by working in an investment bank after uni. After I released the first few songs off the EP I was still writing songs as though for other people and my friend approached me to become my manager. She believed that I was making something special and this gave me even more confidence. We made a plan that I would move to London where she lived and I could actually become an artist. And here I am today working on my new music.

My inspirations draw from 90’s r&b songwriter Kandi Burruso who worked on the Destinies Child, TLC albums and  Aliyah, mainly the staccato melodies. I am particularly interested in the writing of Mariah Carey and find some of my work resembles similar in the way she writes it like a diary and her melodies. I also love the work of Max Martin and his catchy pop melodies and I grew up listening to a lot of these artists such as Britney Spears. Over the recent years I have been discovering new sounds and more people will softer vocals becoming a trend in this ‘new wave’ r&b style and this gave me more confidence. `more recent artists such as Tinashe, Jhene Aiko, Ariana Grande I think I am drawn to this new style they have evoked and also connect to the softer vocals that reflect that of my own and make me feel confident in my vocal range. My vocals have been compared to these artists on occasions especially Tinashe. I love her style and sometimes sing similar but I must remember to try to find a unique thing that I do. Between these 3 artists I feel my gap is sitting in between them.

Becoming aware of my skill for songwriting was my first moment I thought I can actually do this as a career. I often ask my mum for inspiration and she gave me some words once and I took it away and wrote a song called ‘Take Me’ when i played it to her she looked at me and said this is incredible. I kind of guess that was a moment I realised I was good at it. With every song I wrote I got better and better melody and dynamically. I have the goal of writing hits but i realised in summer 2016 hits isn't my focus I want to create a body of work that means something. My first EP really allowed me to experiment with photography and do my own videos which taught me a lot goes into it but I enjoy seeing my visions come to life.

During the summer of 2015 I asked my friend who I was in the girl group with to get involved in writing music again as I recognised she wasn't happy. We had a plan to write a catalogue of songs and aim for getting paid to write mainstream or worldwide artists songs. We were writing pop and dance songs but never completing them fully because I was working on my own work. I have about ten songs we have in progress and would like to have them placed with publishing and go onto to write for others while still being an artist here are examples https://soundcloud.com/aurael/sets/catalogue/s-1vEyh. 

Whilst making the music that really reflects what I want to sound like and portray is the most important thing for me right now. I have held back on a lot of recording because I do not have the financial stability that I had when I was working a 9-5 to go to the studio and I also don't rush things either thinking about if I record it will I use it. Although this means I procrastinate on getting things finished. When I have studio time I am paying for I get things done.

I found that in contrast to the pop music that I love writing I have an edgier, risk taking, playful side even in my style i don't like to take something as it is i always layer or alter things up to fit with how i envision it or making it look like something you cant just buy off a rail in a shop. I can easily write pop feel good songs but I want them to have more meaning and be really believable to me. Sometimes I find I write my best songs when something bad happens to me. I get inspiration from going through experiences and sometimes just fantasy. Currently I have been going through some things that I feel I need to get out in my music. Almost using my music as a healing process and learning. My current project is based on myself, losing and finding myself and having these two very different sides to me.

During summer 2016 I participated in several music projects since moving  such as working for hit songwriter Carla Marie Williams. I thought this would be great opportunity to make contacts and also gain knowledge and opportunity from herself. The problem was the work I was doing was building her brand on social media and it taking up all my time that I had to stop doing it and leave her last minute because I had a mind overload. I am still yet to get back to her but I feel happier without the added pressure and just fully focusing on myself. I made a great contact through her called Jonathan Coffer who helped start her songwriting career. He really liked my voice and said it reminded him of Aaliyah’s style. However I never called him because I didn't feel ready as he wanted to advise on management. I wanted to wait until my music was ready to avoid people trying to take control of the direction I want to go in.

I also took part in Capital Xtra’s music potential on a 3 week course where I performed a more dance/r&b mainstream sounding song I wrote. I realised this was giving off the wrong impression of the type of artist I was. People assumed I wanted to be a dance artist, which is the complete opposite of what I want to be and the other music I was making so I decided to not release the track. This was a great track for a commercial sounding song that was radio friendly. As I used to worry my music wouldn't be played on radio and  measured my success off of that for a while. Now I realise there is so many ways other than radio to reach an audience so I do not worry about that anymore. It was a good learning curve.

I have worked a lot on my social media platforms to build a following/fanbase and started connecting to fans of artists that I aspired to be like. mainly a younger audience was attracted to me and i find they are very engaging if you engage with them and have even established some followers who always comment, like or RT my stuff. I am very visual and show that off through my Instagram i like to work themes and colours so it looks like a story. I never just post anything a lot of thought goes into it. I use snapchat a lot to show off my weird but funny shy personality. However recently I have been resting off social media as I began to over think it. 

During the summer me and my manager ran a competition for my followers and to attract new followers/listeners and share my EP to win Kyle `Jenner lip kits ,which were hard to get hold of and high in demand especially young/early teens and twenties.  It was effective to a small extent, however it attracted a lot of make up artists so if I was ever to do this again I think it should be more music focused to attract the right type of people those being music fans.

My image is something I struggle to find balance with because on stage behind a camera my style is very stands out and more ‘costume’ like and `I like to get creative with different things but on the everyday I wouldn't wear those things. I need to find a balance of being casual but still me. I find that I wear a lot of black and drawn to pink and reds so maybe I should incorporate these colours into my everyday style. During a music project the feedback I got was also do  not depend too much on my image. This has made me hold back bit on what I wear during the time I am making new music. Making my image secondary however as I do have strong passion for fashion this is difficult.

I have learnt a lot about myself and now feel that what I want to come out of my music is:

That I am being true to myself and to do what I believe in and feels real to me

Be movable so I can dance and also make people want to move

Be relatable to people and what people go through

Grow as an artist and continuously improve 

Having a music career I am in control of