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ptolomeia · 4 years ago

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Rhymes With I Love You

Summary: Thomas realizes he is deeply in love with his friend Janus. Luckily for him, it turns out Janus loves him back.

Pairing: Thomas/Janus

Rating: T

Tags: Human Au, Fluff, Mutual Pining

Words: 1802

Read it on AO3

It was the laugh that undid him. Loud, unrestrained, belly laughter. Tears in the corners of his eyes and little sounds that Janus would never admit were snorts escaping. Janus unabashedly, dorkily, loudly happy, for all the world, but most importantly, for Thomas to see.

Thomas knew then and there that, not only did he love Janus, he’d loved him for a while. He didn’t think the words “I love you so much” would have come so close to falling out of his mouth like an armed, friendship destroying bomb if he hadn’t been in love for a while.

And could anyone really blame him? This was Janus he was talking about. Brilliant, beautiful, eloquent, funny, sharp—Thomas could go on all day. And had. The less said about the contents of the margins of his notes (kept carefully tucked away whenever there was a change of seeing Janus) these days, the better.

But more than any of those things (and they were great things!) Janus was kind. You’d never guess, when you first met him, but under all that snark and swagger, Janus was one of the most considerate people Thomas had ever met. He was always willing to go a little out of his way to help, and he never forgot to make Thomas a cup of tea when he made himself one.

Yes, Thomas was deeply and irrevocably in love with Janus, and had been for who knew how long. There were only two problems with this.

The first one wasn’t so bad; Janus didn’t love him back. Which was fair, honestly. Thomas was an anxious mess of a human being, barely able to keep on top of his master’s work. Thomas might be able to listen to Janus talk for hours about the philosophers he loved and studied and analyzed, but it’s not like Thomas had ever been able to really get any of it. Why wouldn’t Janus want someone who was his intellectual equal? Someone who could at least appear to be as put together as Janus was?

So yeah, Janus didn’t love him back, but that really wasn’t the real problem. Thomas was happy just being Janus’s friend, spending time with him just as he always had. No, it was the second problem that was the real problem.

You think a man who’d spend over two decades in the closet would be better at hiding things, but nope. Apparently he’d used up all his secret keeping abilities in those years because now, every time he saw Janus, every time Janus made a quip, or smirked, or breathed, Thomas was overcome with the desire to tell Janus about his unreciprocated feelings.

In retrospect, letting Janus serve him wine when Janus had come over for dinner had been a bad idea.

He hadn’t actually said “Janus, I love you, please pass the salt”, but it was a close run thing.

No, it wasn’t until after supper and another glass of wine was finished and cleaned up from, after Janus had made them both a cup of tea and was sitting with Thomas on his small, busted up couch in his small, student apartment, talking in depth about the idiocy of some famous philosopher, as Thomas watched Janus’s elegant hands so eloquently illustrate what Janus was saying, that the words he’d barely managed to keep behind clenched teeth for the past few weeks fell out into the world.

“I’m in love with you.”

Janus froze. Thomas froze. Oh shit. He wanted to believe he hadn’t actually said that, but Janus’s entirely unreadable expression said otherwise.

“What?” Janus hissed, his eyes searching Thomas’s face.

“Oh God,” Thomas said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. Too late to pretend he hadn’t said anything and they could ignore it. Now he just had to try for damage control and hope he hadn’t managed to destroy his friendship with Janus completely. “I’m sorry, Janus—I don’t know why I said that. No, I mean, I do, but I know you don’t return my feelings—which is totally fine! I just hope we can—”

“I hate tea,” Janus interrupted Thomas’s frantic and pathetic attempt to explain.

“What?” It was Thomas’s turn to say.

“I hate tea,” Janus said, putting down the mug of tea he made himself, and leaning towards Thomas. “I always have. I’ve spent years trying to find a blend I could stand—you have no idea how many samplers I’ve gone through—before realizing no such blend existed and stopped bothering. Black, Green, White, Pu’er, Herbal, Rooibos, Oolong, Chai—I’ve tried them all to no avail. It doesn’t matter how long I steep them, or if I use the right temperature of water. It doesn’t matter how I try to doctor it with milk or sugar or lemon or honey. Wine, Coffee, plain water, even milk are more to my taste than tea. Hell, I’d rather drink beer.”

“But—But that’s ridiculous!” Thomas managed, unable to reconcile the words coming out of Janus’s mouth with the hundreds of mugs of tea he’d seen his friend drink. “You’re literally drinking tea right now! You made it yourself 20 minutes ago! I was right there watching you! Besides, I’ve seen you drink hundreds of cups of tea over the years and never seen you even touch a beer. I swear, every other time we’re at one of our places you say you were thinking of making yourself some tea and would I… like… some…” Thomas felt his eyes widen. No, that couldn’t be it… could it?

“Yes,” Janus said, leaning further forward, eyes bright and intense and overwhelming. “Very early on after meeting you, Thomas—After falling so deeply in love with you I knew I’d never be able to find my way out if I ever wanted to, not that I ever have—I realized you are the most stubborn person on the face of the planet when it comes to letting other people take care of you. You once mentioned that you find a cup of tea soothing, but later, when I wanted to make just you one, you absolutely refused to let me. So, even if I couldn’t stand the stuff, the simplest way for me to offer you the comfort I so desperately wanted to give you was to learn to choke down the stuff myself. I may hate tea, Thomas. But you don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because as someone once said ‘how can I help rhymes with I love you’ and I didn’t think you’d let me say either. Thomas, I would drink a thousand mugs of tea to see that soft, relieved smile of yours when I make you one when you’re stressed. I love you, Thomas. I have loved you for years.”

“But… but why?” Thomas asked, knowing he was repeating himself, but way too overwhelmed to do anything else. Janus loved him?

“Why?” Janus said, head jerking back. “Thomas, I knew you had issues knowing your own worth but—” Janus bit back his words and narrowed his eyes before starting again. “While the fact that you are physically stunning is what first attracted me to you, it’s not the reason I love you.” Breathing. Thomas had to remember that breathing was a thing. “No, I fell in love with you for other things. First of all, that brilliant mind of yours. Not only can you retain and easily access the truly astounding number of facts and how they relate to each other than you need for your engineering work, you have an astonishing way of coming sideways at a problem and developing an elegant solution no one else would imagine. There’s also the fact that you’re hilarious. I don’t think anyone has ever made me laugh as hard or as often as you have. But most importantly, Thomas, the real reason I fell so inescapably in love with you is that you are kind. You look at a world filled with casual cruelty and callousness, where injustice runs rampant and stupid rules let people day for no reason at all—and you say ‘Yes. All this is true. And I will do what I can to change that. I will be kind’. And you are. And you make the world a better place for it. Thomas, I’d have to be an idiot not to fall in love with you.”

And Janus was no idiot.

“You really love me?” Thomas asked, not quite able to believe it.

“I lie about many things, Thomas. You already know that about me. But I would not, will not, lie about this.” There was more honest vulnerability and emotion in Janus’s eyes than Thomas had ever seen there, and if possible, Thomas fell even deeper. Not that it mattered, because apparently Janus had been waiting to catch him all along. “I love you, Thomas Sanders. And I cannot possibly express how happy I am to hear you love me too.”

Janus loved him. Janus loved him.

Janus had also lied to him, but Thomas had known Janus’s flaws when he’d fallen in love, and had fallen anyway. And now that he knew what Janus was willing to do to make him happy?

“At some point,” Thomas said breathlessly (he seemed to have lost his breath somewhere deep in Janus’s eyes), “At some point we’re going to have to talk about the fact that apparently you’ve been lying to me.”

“Agreed,” Janus said, quick and so certain that Thomas didn’t doubt for a second that they would.

“But until then,” Thomas managed. “Until then, can I kiss yo—”

He didn’t manage to finish the sentence before Janus’s lips were pressed against his own.

“My love,” Janus said with a faint, almost disbelieving reverence, pulling back just far enough to look into Thomas’s eyes. “We can do whatever you want.”

“Whatever we want,” Thomas corrected gently, reaching up to lovingly cup Janus’s cheek. “From here on out, we both tell each other what we actually want, instead of dancing around it, okay?”

“In that case,” Janus more purred than said, turning his face slightly to press a kiss against the pad of Thomas’s thumb, while never taking his eyes of Thomas’s face, “I would very much like to kiss you again.”

Thomas swallowed. Thomas swallowed again. “Agreed,” he just managed to say.

With a soft laugh—a laugh Thomas thought he loved just as much as the belly laugh that made him realize the truth—Janus leaved back in and kissed him again.

Later, they would talk with each other about all the things they still needed to. Later, they would be honest and communicate and build something that let both of them feel heard and loved. But that could wait til morning. For now, there were better things to do.

#Sanders sides #sanders sides fic #thomceit #Janus sanders #me and my fic #fluff #mutual pining

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forever-forgotten-angel · 6 years ago

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To Be Named Soon Strip Club Fic (Chapter 1)

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

Warning: I am currently planning this to have some Thomas/Virgil romantic elements, if that’s not your thing please move on and have a wonderful day! In addition, this story involves strippers and will likely have some explicit content at some point, so if that isn’t you thing, also please move on and have a wonderful day! Summary: Sanders Sides Strip Club AU, with a newbie Virgil who still isn’t sure about performing in front of actual people and protective club owner Thomas who just wants his employees to be happy and reach their full potential.

Pairings: Patton/Emile, Logan/Roman, Thomas/Virgil, Virgil/Remy, possibly Thomas/Virgil/Remy depending on how things go. More couples may be added.

Hey, I went ahead and typed this up on my phone because the doctor’s office is making me wait until god knows when to get seen for an appointment that was made weeks ago and had a set time. So fun. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

College is going fairly well for Virgil. Sure the classes are bigger, and so is the school, and he doesn’t know anybody (which is both a blessing and a curse to be honest), and the work is harder, but he’s keeping up okay.

What isn’t going well for him is his hunt for a part-time job.

No matter how good his resume looks, Virgil just does not interview well. He gets anxious and his throat closes up and he can’t speak right and he just wants to run.

He’s on his way back to the school from just such an interview right now. It’s about two o’clock (pm obviously) and he’s been walking for quite some time.

He doesn’t have a car, but luckily the school is in the center of the city and the city��s not too big so he can pretty much walk everywhere. Except somehow, while he was wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing at the latest in his line of interview failures, he’s gotten himself lost. And of course, this is the one time he doesn’t have his phone charged because that is just Virgil’s luck.

He’s not even sure what part of the city he’s in at this point and he’s in the process of resigning himself to going in to an establishment and asking someone for directions. It wouldn’t be easy, but it’s better than being out here all night.

Even after coming to this conclusion he spends the next few minutes walking and trying to build up what confidence he has. He finally takes a deep breath and turns to his right, entering the first building he sees. It’s an unassuming black building with a decorative sign that reads ‘Paradise Found’ which looks like it lights up at night.

It doesn’t take long for Virgil to recognize the familiar setting of the building he’s in, though he does wonder why the door was unlocked at this time of day. He can’t stop a rush of excitement and longing as he sees the poles on the stage. He shakes it off as he enters further, determined to find someone to give him directions now that he’s come this far.

He spots a couple of what must be the dancers nearby. One of them is wearing a lab coat which is open revealing nothing but a neck tie and a gorgeous torso underneath. The other is wearing a light blue corset with a matching set of underwear and seems to have a cardigan tied around his shoulders for some reason.

The man with the neck tie heads to the back room, leaving the man in blue alone. Virgil summons as much inner strength as he can muster and approaches the man.

“Hi.” He curses how weak his voice sounds as the dancer turns around to see him. He is immediately given what has to be the brightest smile he has ever seen. “Hiya! You must be here for the interview. I’ll take you up to the boss.” The man starts walking, motioning for a confused Virgil to follow him. He does, trying to figure out exactly what’s happening but too nervous to just ask. “I’m Patton by the way. What’s your name?” He swallows the lump in his throat. “Virgil.” The dancer, Patton as he now knows, looks back and gives him another blinding smile. “Nice to meet you Virgil.” He blinks a little and gives a small smile back, though he knows his is far less bright. “You too.”

They walk up a staircase to an office. Outside sits a sign that reads ‘Club Attendant Open Interviews 1:00-3:00 pm’. Well that explained why the door was unlocked and where Patton was taking him. He supposed he had his resume on him anyway, and he didn’t really like the idea of telling the bubbly man that he was wrong. Patton didn’t seem like the type to get upset or anything, but you never knew. Besides, what was one more rejection today?

His resolve faded a bit when a man came out from the office looking upset and the slightest bit scared. He felt himself tense up as he followed Patton in, preparing for the worst.

Instead of some giant mob-boss type person that he was expecting, a gorgeous man in a brown leather jacket and a t-shirt sits behind a large wooden desk that is strewn with papers. The man looks up and smiles when he sees Patton. He literally glowed when he smiled. Does everyone here just have brilliant smiles? What is this? “Hey Pat, what can I do you for you?” The man’s smooth voice echoes through the small room. Patton points over at Virgil who is trying to breath as the gaze of both men are now on him and he’s being stared at and Virgil breathe! He reminds himself as Patton goes to speak again. “I found another one downstairs; he was a bit lost so I brought him up to you.” Virgil feels a slightly embarrassed rush as the word lost reminds him why he was really there but ignores it. The man behind the desk nods. “Thanks Pat, I’ll take him from here.” Patton gives a salute. “Aye, aye captain.”

The bubbly dancer turns to Virgil and, to Virgil’s shock, reaches out and gives him a hug. Virgil hasn’t been hugged since he left his hometown, and even then it was scarce as he only really hugged Alina with any sort of frequency. But Patton was warm and inviting and seemed genuine so Virgil hugged him back, enjoying the contact. Patton pulled back after a minute and Virgil resisted the ridiculous urge to hold onto him longer. “Nice meeting you Virgil! Good luck! Hope to see you soon!” Virgil can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “It was nice meeting you too Patton. Have a great night!” He called after him as he left the room, leaving Virgil alone with ‘the boss’.

Virgil turned back around, he already felt his anxiety growing and his throat contricting and oh god why had he thought he could just do this? He was so not prepared. And what if-

“You’re hired.”

His thoughts stopped dead in their tracks. What? “What?” He repeated his last thought out loud instinctively. His eyes widened as he started to backtrack over his rudeness. “I mean, I’m sorry but I’m confused, I didn’t interview at all…” He trails off, not knowing what to say. The man gives him a heart stopping smile, warm brown eyes meeting Virgil’s. “I don’t need you to. You look to be in good enough shape to do anything I might need you doing around the club.” He gestures to the strap of Virgil’s bag where his school ID is attached. “You clearly must have some modicum of intelligence if you’re in college, and most importantly you’re the first person all day who was completely respectful to one of my performers. That’s good enough for me. The job is yours if you want it.” If? The chance to works in a place that is at least somewhat familiar to him AND finally stop going through the worry and stress of a job interview every few days. Plus, the two workers he’s met so far both seem pretty great. Patton had seemed like such a sweet person, and he respects the man in front of him for being protective of his performers. He remembers how Alina and the other dancers would talk about how the customers of the strip club would sometimes treat them. They’d had to stop talking about it while he was in earshot because he’d get so worked up, but that didn’t stop him from knowing it was probably still happening. It was hardly a difficult decision. “Absolutely! Thank you so much.”

He was proud he got the words out without stuttering, though his heart did stutter a bit when the man stood up from behind the desk and gave him another large smile as he reach a hand towards Virgil. “Excellent! I guess I’m you new boss then. “I’m Thomas Sanders, welcome to my strip club.” Virgil took his hand, trying to ignore just how warm it is against his skin.

“Virgil Sterling. Nice to meet you, new boss.” He is internally surprised at the almost teasing tone he uses; he must be a little high on this rare stroke of good luck. Thomas is not offended luckily, and simply giggles adorably as he hands Virgil a schedule. “Come in early if you have time and I’ll show you around and introduce you to everyone.” Thomas offers to a grateful Virgil. “Thanks! See you soon I guess?” Thomas nods, giving Vigil one last beautiful smile looking down to the papers on his desk. “See you soon.” Virgil heads back down to leave the club in a daze, still in disbelief at what had just happened. He never gets this lucky. The worst case scenario is often the most likely one for him. He can already feel a bit of doubt rising in him, telling him this was to good to be real. Too good to last. That he was going to mess this up like he did everything. But for once he squashed that voice down. This was the best thing to happen to him in a long time and he was going to enjoy it.

He is a bit surprised but kind of happy to see Patton waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. “How’d it go? Did you get the job?” His tone holds barely contained excitement. Virgil nods with a smile on his face. Patton actually squeals and comes forward to give Virgil another hug like he had earlier. Virgil once again is surprised but pleased at the contact as he hugs back a bit sooner this time. “I had a feeling. Oh this is going to be so great! We’re going to be best friends, I just know it!” Virgil fights back a few tears, unused to feeling so wanted. “I hope so.” He comments as he pulls back a bit reluctantly. “I know so.” Patton replies seriously making Virgil’s smile grow more whether he wants it to or not.

“Patton, it’s your turn to rehearse.” A voice calls from behind the dancer. Virgil catches a glimpse of a man in what appears to be a sexy knight costume before the mystery person ducks back into the back room. “Coming Ro!” Patton shoved a small piece of paper into Virgil’s hand. “My number in case you need anything. See you around Virgil!”

Patton starts to walk away from a once again, dazed but oddly content Virgil who is staring down a the paper with just a smidgen of awe. He goes to put it in his phone before remembering it’s dead and how this whole miraculous experience had started. He quickly but carefully places Patton’s number into a safe zippered pouch in his bag before calling after the cardigan-clad man.

“Hey Patton! Would you mind telling me the best way to get back to my school from here really quick please? Just for future reference…”

Tag List: @organizeddiscord, @nightmarejasmine

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #Strip Club Fic

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thetappingsolution · 6 years ago

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Releasing Anxiety with EFT Tapping

How to send your mind’s sabertooth tiger back into extinction.

We all inherited some hard-to-shake programming from our ancient ancestors, including our response to stress.

Their stress involved coping with life-or-death situations from sabertooth tigers and other such threats, which thankfully they survived (or we wouldn’t be here!).

Our stress mostly does not.

But there’s a reason we still perceive the daily stressors in our lives as being just as threatening, and why so many of us have such high levels of anxiety...

Maybe you’ve felt it - the sense that things are about to fall apart, or that your mind is too crowded with distressing thoughts that prevent you from breathing, relaxing, and sleeping...

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18% of the population.

Luckily, we’ve come a long way in our understanding of how our ancestors’ fight-or-flight mechanism remained with us, and even more importantly, what we can do to fix it.

Did you know that Tapping has been scientifically proven to rewire the brain and body to bring it back into balance? Read on to see what this means to you and your anxiety...

Your Programming

You may have heard of the amygdala in your brain. That’s where your survival instincts live.

When you’re truly in a dangerous situation, the amygdala perceives the threat and releases biochemicals that flood your body with the mental and physical energy you need to fight or flee it.

But what about when you’re not truly in danger?

Unfortunately for many people, that ancient survival instinct kicks in anyway. Everyday stressors are all it takes and their anxiety is off and running.

Sometimes it doesn’t take much - like a traffic jam, a rude barista at the coffee shop, or just being too busy. But there are also big ones, which may not be life-threatening, but can seriously trigger our anxiety. These include things like:

Health

Money

Job pressures

Painful memories

Relationship concerns

The world!

When your body constantly goes into fight-or-flight mode, you lose your sense of control. You lack the peace of mind to deal with a situation as effectively as you might. You become exhausted, distracted, and at some point, unhealthy.

In fact, according to Harvard Medical School, “Evidence suggests that people with anxiety disorders are at greater risk for developing a number of chronic medical conditions.” They state that these include gastrointestinal disorders, chronic respiratory disorders, and heart disease.

This is no secret. That’s why the market is booming with individuals and organizations doing their best to help you alleviate your anxiety. They know how important it is in the scheme of your overall health.

Maybe you’ve already tried some of their (and your own) techniques such as:

Practicing meditation, deep breathing, yoga, etc.

Exercising regularly

Cutting down on caffeine or alcohol

Diffusing essential oils

Recording your honest feelings in a journal

Getting massages and other types of bodywork

Taking hot baths

Talking to someone you trust

Those are all wonderful ways to temporarily relieve your anxiety. If you do practice any of them, I want to congratulate you for taking an active role in your own health and wellbeing!

But what if you practice one (or all) of them faithfully, and you still suffer from anxiety more often than you think you should?

This is where Tapping does what other techniques can’t do.

Tapping rewires your brain, which means it short-circuits the amygdala’s response so you don’t have to continue feeling like a victim to your programming anymore.

In other words, Tapping helps you get to the root of the problem, which is the only place where you can truly eliminate it.

How It Works

Anxiety is brought to life at particularly stressful moments. Without our prehistoric programming, we’d be able to more easily recognize each event’s actual level of threat, deal with it in the moment, and file it away in the knowledge and wisdom part of our being.

But when your nervous system has become overly sensitized due to past events and emotions, your programming kicks in and new anxiety gets added to your already overloaded system. You feel ambushed, again and again.

[Just for fun, do you know what a group of (sabertooth) tigers is called? An ambush!] :)

Not to make light of anxiety. I don't wish that feeling on anyone. But there is a proven solution, and I think by now you know it’s called Tapping.

What Tapping does is send a calming signal to the amygdala, allowing your brain and body to feel safe, and thus, dissipate your anxiety.

The combination of tapping on the meridian points of your body and speaking to the reason(s) for your anxiety brings your mind and body into alignment. It reduces the automatic flow of anxious feelings when those memories get triggered by everyday life, until it stops them altogether.

And though it may take a few rounds of tapping to clear particularly intense emotions, you can feel when it happens. Then one day you realize that you just don’t react to things the way you always did.

Here’s what a few people have shared about their experience with Tapping:

“Since the Tapping World Summit in February, the last of my anxiety has gone and along with it my fear of heights apparently although I hadn't got around to tapping on that yet.” Alex, Melbourne, Australia

“Things I thought were hard-wired into me have dissolved and I’m doing things I would never have believed possible.” Alice, South Africa

“I am noticing shifts after repeated use of tapping videos such as less worry, fear, stress, nervousness and anxiety - virtually disappeared which feels amazing and such a relief to be able to move through the world in a state of grace, peace, love, joy and happiness.” Michelle, Ireland

EFT Tapping has been known to work for years by psychologists, therapists, coaches, and everyday people. It is also used by some of the leading physicians in the holistic health world:

"EFT studies have shown that after treatment, when subjects recall the events that used to trigger big emotional reactions, they are now calm. The memory appears to have been reconsolidated with the self-soothing emotional tags generated by tapping." DR. DAWSON CHURCH

"Studies show that people who use Tapping recover very quickly from whatever ails them, often in just a few sessions. Whether you use it to reduce physical symptoms or for changing limiting beliefs, Tapping has the effect of releasing the emotional memories associated with your symptoms or beliefs." DR. CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP

“Nothing comes closer to ‘magic’ than the positive results I have personally witnessed using EFT on thousands of my patients who suffered from physical and emotional pain and illness. EFT can lead you to incredible breakthroughs on your healing journey, and it can help you in your daily life.” DR. JOSEPH MERCOLA

And now, a powerful study reveals EFT Tapping promotes a significant decrease in anxiety...

If you’re new to Tapping, you might still be wondering how something so simple can really make you feel safer and calmer, and even eliminate your anxiety. Or maybe you’ve done enough Tapping to know it works, but you’re still curious to know the hard science behind why it works.

If so, this is for you.

In a nutshell, the Tapping Solution Foundation helped fund a study that was published in the May 2016 edition of The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease titled, "Emotional Freedom Techniques for Anxiety: A Systematic Review With Meta-analysis."

We wanted an objective review and documented evidence of what Tapping achieves.

This analysis applied the most stringent study selection using the American Psychological Association’s (APA) Division 12 (Clinical Psychology) Task Force on Empirically Validated Treatments.

This meta-analysis analyzed the results of 14 randomized controlled trials that included an assessment for anxiety and involved a total of 658 participants.

It found a “large” treatment effect and a significant decrease in anxiety.

Critical analysis of the findings of these studies is both clinically important and timely, as the practice of EFT continues to gain adoption into the psychotherapy community.

And because of its efficacy and ease of use, EFT may possess significant practical advantages to public health outcomes compared with resource-intensive approaches including Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Back to What Matters Most: You and Your Anxiety

Would you like to experience a feeling of safety flooding your body right now? Then take a minute to do some tapping!

All you have to do is download The Tapping Solution App, where you’ll find a (FREE) Releasing Anxiety Tapping Meditation.

Follow along as Jessica leads you through the tapping points and statements. You’ll even be able to rate your anxiety at the start of the tapping session, and again at the end to see your results.

Go ahead and try it! You’re just a few minutes away from feeling calmer and breathing easier.

We developed The Tapping Solution App to put this powerful tool in your hands at all times. We wanted to be just a click and a swipe away when you need help getting through a stressful moment.

In time, we’ll have hundreds of Tapping topics available when you need help. But for now, we already have many to choose from - with FREE meditations available from each category.

DIY Tapping

You can also learn to do Tapping on your own. We have lots of resources on our website at thetappingsolution.com, which we invite you to use whenever you can.

If you're new to Tapping, you can watch a video on how to tap here.

Why wait another minute?

Getting relief from the misery of anxiety is absolutely possible. We want you to know how that feels and to begin changing your life into one that is full of more joy, more peace, and more fulfillment. It’s really up to you, but we’re here to help.

You know how they say you should never wake a sleeping tiger? Well, here at The Tapping Solution, we don’t agree.

We say WAKE IT UP AND TAP ON IT! It’s the only way to make it go away for good.

Until next time,

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Have you used Tapping to lower your anxiety? Share below! I'd love to read your comments.

Releasing Anxiety with EFT Tapping is republished from: The Tapping Solution

#emotional freedom technique

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sixeightsuited · 8 years ago

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Of Gaming, Maths and Misery

Onward! The second of God knows how many posts on the topic.

People used to dismiss video games as mindless entertainment that created a generation of lazy, disinterested youth who would rather stare at a screen than go outside. Kinda funny how now almost EVERYONE is staring at a screen for long periods of time and it’s totally cool. Well, to a point….I mean, you CAN go outside and do stuff too. But anyways…

I got hooked on the game Destiny and while I loved the campaign side of it, I was TERRIFIED to try the competitive side or PvP as its known. I am really uncomfortable with strangers to begin with and it requires often being on a headset with people you don’t know. So, I went a long time without trying what was one of the most popular parts of the game. You can look for people to play with via LFG sites (Looking for Group) but it’s a painful process for someone like me who is so self-conscious and finds making new friends very difficult let alone approaching strangers on line and asking them to play a game with me lol

I decided to try starting a Clan on the Destiny website but make it for people like me who suffer from anxiety, social awkwardness and have it be a “safe space” where there would be no judgemental shit (gamers can be real assholes) and a spirit of inclusiveness. Age, sex, culture….none of that mattered. You didn’t have to be good at the game either. Just maybe try stepping out of your comfort zone a bit like I was doing.

Well, I had no idea my vision would resonate with so many people. A rep from Bungie, the author of the game, contacted me and asked if I would like to be featured on their website.

https://www.bungie.net/en/News/Article/44591/7_Unite-the-Clans—Not-Quite-Sonic

Having no idea what that meant, I said “Sure” and filled out the questionnaire they sent me and as soon as it went live on the site, I had a maxed out clan and 1500 members in less than a weekend. Within three months, I went from having 10 members to over 3000 across three platforms. PS4, XBOX, and PS3

Now this post isn’t to brag about that. It’s to talk about how gaming helps people. In this particular instance, with self-confidence, self-esteem, and things like the aforementioned anxiety issues.

When I started gaming it was completely solo. The only interaction you’d have with another player was if they were in the room with you on the other controller. No online, no game lobbies, no clans. It was perfect for me. I had a friend who played and we’d spend hours on stuff like Tomb Raider, all sorts of sports games, and I especially enjoyed puzzlers and platformers.

Problem for me was, problem solving puzzlers triggered a physical reaction in me the way that math and tests in school did. When faced with math, I would have this feeling like someone just grabbed hold of the back of my head and was trying to pull my face off. My stomach would knot up, I’d get anxious, and ultimately flounder miserably. I never made it past grade 9 math to make a long story short.

(BUMMER ALERT: This next part is depressing but integral)

To go along with crippling anxiety, I had an undiagnosed Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) You see, back when I was about 5, a bunch of kids tried to cave my skull in with rocks. I was literally stoned. Not in the fun, “Dave’s not here man!” way…that came later. But in the Biblical, Life of Brian “who threw that” way. Why? Because of the colour of my skin. So that, among other things (including woeful health care that involved just throwing some stitches in me and sending me home where my adopted family ignored the vomiting and accompanying migraines) left me with a TBI that lay undiscovered til an MRI a few years ago that joyfully showed not just scar tissue on what little I have that passes for a brain, but an aneurysm somewhere in the left carotid just to sweeten the deal.

So… if it goes off, my demise will be on the hands of those kids all those years ago and they’ll never know they ultimately succeeded in killing me. Now, I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a lot of anger about it, but I also know that that kind of racism and hate is taught. At home, usually. You’re not born with it. So…while I can’t say I forgive them, I can say I understand that it’s not entirely on them. I’ve made as much peace with it as I can.

Anyways, having this physical reaction to math made learning a bit of an issue. While I was fine with other subjects, anything involving tests or activities that centered me out would cause this most unpleasant of feelings. There’s a ton of other reasons for that but this isn’t really supposed to be about me and my childhood, it’s supposed to be about gaming, games, math etc. and how it helps people.

I dropped out of school in the eleventh grade because I hated school and the way it made me feel. The two things that saved me from turning to a life of crime or at least more very poor choices were music and martial arts. I’ve covered this elsewhere so I won’t get into it here.

Now the math thing I realised also stemmed from how I was being taught. Numbers on a page evoked the aforementioned stresses. Practical application of math, like while playing darts, did not. I had a bass player who loved playing darts and his game was 501. You start with a score of 501 and subtract your score per 3 darts til you hit zero. I found I liked playing too but realised I was going to have to do math in my head. It scared me so I just watched for a while until finally I was talked into playing. Strangely, and very surprisingly, I didn’t feel that same stress and anxiety I did when doing math on paper. It made no sense to me but it made me happy that in a short time I could and still do subtraction pretty quickly without having to write it out.

Now, I’m no educator (obviously) so I can’t explain the ins and outs of it but if I did things in a hands on, practical way, I would learn and have learned a lot of stuff nobody that taught me would have ever expected. I was told by a grade 5 teacher that I would “never amount to anything like the rest of my dirty drunken kind” Little did she know I would go on to become proficient at multiple instruments including guitar, drums, bass and keyboards, sing and play in touring club acts and learn how to do front of house sound for live bands and work with some popular at the time Canadian bands like Sloan, I Mother Earth, Tea Party, Moist and a bunch of other alt-rock acts, jazz ensembles and even toured with an awesome Drag ensemble as the live sound engineer.

None of this happened by going to college and learning (Daughter of mine: DO NOT follow my example. Stay in school! I am an anomaly) but by teaching myself as far as the music part goes (I was actually kicked out of my high school music class) and having someone take me on the road as kind of an intern and show me how to set up, run and maintain a large sound system in numerous environments. I found I could troubleshoot, work under tremendous pressure in a live environment, all to my great surprise.

The reason was, for me anyways; because I learned this all in a practical way. I remember we had a college that taught audio engineering that would send students to the production company I worked for and I was charged from time to time with taking them into a live situation and putting them to work. They had no real practical experience but loads of theoretical knowledge.

I figured I’d teach them how I was taught. Throw em in the fire and see which ones think to jump out. I gave this kid total control of the show one time and the entire left bank of speakers went out in the first song and he had this deer in the headlights look as the audience, band members friends and family, all started turning around to look angrily at us. “What do I do????” he asked. I said what were you taught? He had no answer and was genuinely beginning to melt down and I don’t relish in other peoples discomfort so I offered this: follow the signal. Meaning, follow the sound signal from the mixing console back to the speakers and figure out where it’s failed.

Somewhere in that chain, something has failed. We know it’s nothing at the band/stage end of it because it’s the speakers that aren’t working. So start subtracting the stuff that it couldn’t be and find the few things it might be. It sounds like its complicated, but in actual practice, it’s quite simple. Subtraction. One of my old childhood tormentors in math was now a friend.

He, understandably, had no idea what to do under that much pressure so I left the light tech at the board and walked him through the process.

We knew back then that the signal comes to the mixing console via a cable we called the snake containing the signal from all the instruments on stage. That isn’t the problem. The sound is making it to the console. Next, the sound goes from the console into processing units like compressors, equalizers, effects units etc. Well, out of those subtract the ones that aren’t applied to the entire mix. FX units are applied to individual tracks or instruments or groups of instruments, so we know that’s not the problem. Follow the signal.

What things after you leave the mixing area affect the path of sound heading to the left and right side speakers? If its not there in your rack at the console, then follow the cables back to the racks of amplifiers that power the speakers. Have any of them shut down? Has something come unplugged? And so on. In that instance, a poorly wired amp rack was the culprit and simple subtraction (sorta) saved the day

**Of course, it’s more accurately an example of deduction or the process of elimination BUT the point is more importantly that practical application was how I learned the trade and was able to explain it to someone with mostly theoretical knowledge.

“Now what in the holy hell has this got to do with anything?” you may ask.

I’m getting there. Trust me. Now I’m gonna go watch football and eat poorly cuz, well….I deserve to.

Later taters. Stay tooned!

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