#i am not tagging everyone god damn
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i just learned of your existence like. barely 2 days ago, so all i know is that you ship your oc with leona and nothing else-
but what are dee’s relationships like with all the other people at NRC?
first off anon i love you thank you for asking me i love to yap especially about dee
ok so dee is a first year so hes good friends with the other first year characters but specifically ace and deuce. they are the dumbass trio and when they are together all of their collective iq drops immensely. also dee is prone to tackling them if he has been separated to long they are his emotional support dumb dumbs. he does call out ace on being an asshole though, and hes always really proud of deuce for working so hard all the time.
with the other first years hes pretty friendly with jack because during book 3 jack helped him out a lot which made dee respect him a lot. hes friendly with epel and likes to encourage the menace behavior when vils not around to tell them off. at first he like, really disliked sebek, but as he got used to him hes started to think of him as a friend too. just a friend who annoys the living hell out of him lmao
hes not too close with cater or trey but he finds them fun in their own ways, he wants to ask trey to teach him how to bake but he hasnt yet cuz hes scared treys always busy with vice housewarden stuff and doesnt want to bother him. he finds cater fun because his internet-ey personality reminds dee of some of the friends he had back home.
now with riddle he sort of pitys him, respects him, and has a small disdain for him all at the same time. knowing about riddles mom reminds dee of his own, and he wants to be able to connect with riddle over that except riddles reaction to having a controlling mother is very different than dees. dee feels that riddle doesnt see how horrible his mother was, and gets angry on riddles behalf because he feels like riddle still thinks his mother was in the right and he gets angry over how obnoxious over rules riddle can be, but he respects riddles leadership and strength too
dee tries to be friends with ruggie since ruggie is essentially leonas second in command, than and he thinks ruggie is fun, but he doesnt like that ruggie sometimes tries to take advantage of the more gullible students. obviously more people than just ruggie do this but basically dee expects better from ruggie because he actually thinks highly of him
with the twins dee finds them really fun and likes to hang out with them just to see the chaos they cause, but hes also kinda scared if jade. not so much floyd because floyd always acts on impulse and such but jade is a planner and is more manipulative than his brother, and smart people like that intimidate dee more
azul...long story short dee thinks hes hilariously obnoxious. he avoids azul unless in groups because he knows azul will take any opportunity to somehow get dee (or anyone else) in his debt, but the time he is around azul he finds it so funny how much 'theater kid' energy he has. any intimidation is gone because all dee can see him as is a guy putting on the most dramatic performance ever
kalim is dees #1 bestie after adeuce. dee saw the one genuinely happy nice lively dude and claimed him as best friend. there are few actually hyper or high energy ppl at nrc who arent high energy due to being...crazy so hanging out with kalim is like a breath of fresh air for dee. they send silly cat memes to eachother.
dee has a lot of respect for how responsible jamil is, like a LOT of respect. but at the same time he has a grudge. in dees mind he cant get over the fact that rather than tell anyone at all or attempt to solve the problems in his life jamil just seemingly gave up before trying and bottled everything up until he lashed out at kalim. like i said dee really likes kalim so seeing how jamil hurt him dee would have a hard time forgiving that, even if he knew why. he just doesnt get why jamil is so quick to blame kalim for it all when kalim obviously thinks so highly of jamil and cares for jamil a lot. its similar to how he feels about riddle. there is respect there, but there are also actions he just cant get over.
ok so with vil, dee definitely disagrees with how strict he can be sometimes, but he gets his strictness is his way of trying to help others become their best self so he would be less mad at vils strictness than riddles. other than that hed be #2 vil hypeman (second only to rook). dee has an appreciation for film so hed ask vil a lot of questions, and vil would probably try to get him to join the film club (hes an honorary member lowkey lmao). essentially those two would be gossipy friends, dee vented to him when he saw leonas vargas camp fit and they bonded over how shit it was and how so many people at nrc have such a rough fashion sense.
dee is kinda scared of rook but also entirely gets why hes so weird. doesnt mean hes gonna go out of his way to hang out with him tho. whenever hes alone hes basically on guard in case rook might be watching (he can never tell anyway which makes it all more anxiety inducing). he will never understand rooks obsession with neige though. he doesnt really like that rook also lowkey stalks leona, but he cant blame him cause he gets it
dee is stealing ortho from ignihyde and adopting him as his brother instead. once again one of the few high energy not too insane people so dee likes to be around him, but also dee always wanted a little brother and does not think idia is giving ortho enough attention. other than that dee has little complaints about idia. he finds him a little whiny, especially with book 6 events, but thats sorta just how idia is and dee cant imagine him acting any other way. dees tried to bond over nerdy stuff with idia before, but ends up just talking to ortho about it because he gets a sort of pretentious, 'im a real fan' vibe from idia sometimes.
dee doesnt really have a typically close friendship with malleus, they dont really talk about in depth things or anything like that, but dee really values his friendship with malleus. sometimes you just need a friend to be chill with, like there are friends you want to vent your problems to and then there are friends who you just know nothing about but you dont care cuz yall are vibing and thats malleus. he likes going on night time walks with him because night walks are just nice, and theyre more fun with company.
dee thinks silvers awesome. thats all. he thinks hes cool and basically has a 'omg silver :0' moment every time they talk. he wants to become better friends with silver, but basically every time he sees him silvers asleep and dee doesnt want to wake him. dee also thinks lilias very fun, but he also is like...constantly suspicious about him. he just feels somethings off about him or that theres something hes not saying so hes constantly like staring him down like '...what are you hiding man' but thinks lilias pretty cool
now small segments on staff
dee is eternally pissed at crowley but at the same time cant be genuinely mad because this man is so ridiculous
dee is scared of crewel because how does no one else find it weird hes treating them like dogs, but i the fit is iconic and being called a good boy is not something he can complain about
dee has no respect for vargas. that man is ridiculous and oh so dense. he avoids vargas at all costs
dee doesnt have a strong opinion on trein, but he thinks its funny he always has his cat in class with him. he has basic respect for trien because hes been given no reason not to.
dee thinks sam is the coolest person alive. dee goes to the store to pretend to look around just to talk to sam. he sees him as like the cool older cousin who is so fun and who you really want to be like when you grow up. dee is however unsure if he is allowed to try to become friends with the store owner 7 years older than him. someone please explain the social rules about this situation my boy is autistic and needs help.
this was way longer than i thought but i really liked talking about all this because for some of the characters i actually hadnt put too much thought and its good to think about this stuff and obviously i love to yap about dee so thank you for the ask anon
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And day 2 is the lovely Xisuma!!
#Far less rambling than before but now I ramble here#yea so I am not the best at robot X this one is definitely better last years piece although not my favorite :/#But I do like the colors AND everyone elses art for today has been fantastic!! Someday I will learn to draw metal I swear#my art#fanart#art#hermitaday#hermitblr#hermitcraft#hc s10#hermitcraft season 10#hermitcraft 10#Xisuma#xisumavoid#hc10#hermit a day may#hermit-a-day-may 2024 day 2: Xisuma#<- dear god so many damn tags aaaaa#<- also also I posted this on the alt by accident O.O
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now i can finally leave surprises in your inbox HEHEHEHE
#you have become TOO POWERFUL!!!!!!!!! i. i saw i had an ask from you and i was so excited.#‘wow!!’ i said. an innocent man. a fool. ‘what did my beloved gb say in our first correspondence? prithee tell for i am naught but gay!’#and then i was shot. in the face. point blank. eviscerated#tmnt#rise#FAVORITE#FAVORITES OF FAVORITES. the MOST FAVORITE#ok. drama over. gay shit now. hey. hey gb. [kisses you with tongue]#im so fkkin obsessed with your style and this is so amazing. it’s so soft. it’s so fkkin tender. i want to write a 50k fic just of this pic#your lines are so god damn pretty?? your colors are just. chef kiss. his lil face makes me want to **** ** ***** * ****#mwah. mwah. mwah. forever mwah. good morning everyone!! i hope your day started off .1% as well as mine bc if so it’s gonna be a Good One#ask tag
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Finished veilguard, I finally will go on the tag as a treat because those last 4 hours put me through so much....
#dragon age#datv#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#im about to talk in the tags this is your last chance to look away#i am holding the Davrin romancers by the hand because my gOD if you pick that decision (WHICH I DID)#because story wise it made the most sense#BUT MY GOD it makes everything in the final quest hit so much harder#shout out to my rook who was fully going off fumes for that last bit#what was that line they said? 'i can collapse on my own later'#anyway if you want my thoughts or reactions hit me up because my god#i have ideas for my rook post game if i keep that Choice™ as their canon choice or if i reload#im probably gonna keep it but we shall see#yes im sad about the romance cutscenes everyone else got#i hAd sad times alone#i can keep on going about this i have Thoughts#i shouldve romanced the damn crow#gestures at the sketches i have in procreate . what am i supposed to do with this
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I never thought I'd say this, but there's no way I'm one of the only ones here that isn't chronically online. Right? Right??
#PLEASE don't tell me this is genuinely how all of you view this#I'm not gonna make a longer post unless prompted but. there's no way so many of you are this chronically online. there's just no way#I mean this is the nicest way possible btw#some of y'all need to get some friends IRL. like genuinely.#if y'all are thinking that its evil to draw teens smoking weed or for there to be 2 year age gaps in high school relationships-#you do NOT know enough people. I'm being serious#don't get me wrong; some of the things being talked about are serious issues#(I am basically only referring to Louis when I say this. I hope you're doing okay man)#but the rest is stuff that is just so stupid I swear#I don't like engaging in drama hence why I'm not gonna tag the fandom or make this a big post outside of the tags#So much of this is the kind of thing you'd see in a 2018 DA ranters video and that is NOT a good thing#the combination of a lack of nuance + being teens with no life experience + hard opinions is soooooo ass#like this feels like the beginning of a clique who hates artistic expression#I saw one of the posts talking about how people in this fandom should basically be only wholesome or else you're evil and just. What??#Not how art works. not how liking a thing works. stop trying to police the people around you#when I say 'you' I am referring to the amorphous blob of people I'm targeting this rant at and not everyone btw#and I thought that me with my mental health testing approved black & white thinking pattern was bad. god damn#sorry for these tags being so long and ranty I just needed to yap about how I think a lot of this is stupid#if anyone following me doesn't want to follow me anymore due to this that's fine. idrc tbh#I could also like explain anything I mean in an actual post if anyone is confused by any of this#but otherwise this is my two cents#andy rambles
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Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown
#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV#okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now#have been drawing them like its my god damn career#have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone#and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go!#BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL#I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR#*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these#yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had#i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :)#BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART#AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT#and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction'#and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL#i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic#like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening'#i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity'#and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn#if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor#UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them#im trying to be concise but i really cant#because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn#HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS???????????????#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2023 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1
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"kunidazai is healthier than skk" annoys me so bad bc those are two very different relationships in dazai's life you Have to stop comparing them
#like did. did everyone just forget that chuuya's will to live convinced dazai to try living. am i going insane here.#that dazai got up and did something abt shibusawa bc he upset chuuya#that they have Despite Their Arguing always fully and completely trusted and protected each other????#what they have is not just like. a healthy partnership (which. lmfao imo abt well. I Shant Say)#but a bond built on recognition they cant just let go of. at the end of the day they'll always drift back to each other#bc if you cant hate urself might as well hate ur exact perfect mirror yknow#also JUST IN GENERAL fuck off abt other people not liking ur fuckass ship i swear to god i will hunt you for sport#sig.zai's already off my god damn table from those people I WILL START HATERISMING UR SHIT TOO#AND main tag it since kunikidazai fans cant fuckin learn to keep their shit outta the skk tag fucks sake
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: Gen Characters: Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun), Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun), Mother Superion (Warrior Nun), Ava Silva, Jillian Salvius, Sister Beatrice (Warrior Nun), Father Vincent (Warrior Nun), Cardinal Duretti (Warrior Nun), Adriel (Warrior Nun), Sister Camila (Warrior Nun) Additional Tags: Angst, It's all of their relationships to one another and to the halo, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
A short AU for if Mary hadn't arrived on time and Lilith managed to get the halo in 1x05.
#warrior nun#narratives and similar#i debated myself for a long time about tagging so many characters BUT they arguably DO all have an importance in this one#and i suppose my concept of angst might be a tad more tame than most people's but at least you know it's not... happy#anyway i am NOT tagging everyone here lol#i mentioned au's that stick closer to canon the other day and i suppose this qualifies. one small detail...#anyway i was dying to post this one as soon as the challenge closed#also because now i get to post The Other Thing for the valentines bingo#i'll post that on friday instead of the usual drabble so stay tuned for it#also if you're wondering about the title... the challenge was the word precious#so of course i just had the song precious by depeche mode in my head all the damn time. it's a line from it.#if god has a master plan/ that only he understands/ i hope it's your eyes he's seeing through#you can interpret why i chose that and whose pov i used as you will lol
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hello fobverse i know not a ton of modern day fobbies are really into the hardcore/overall scene lore aspect behind fall out boy ..... but since your boy wavernot4love kinda.... bases their entire interests & life around these things, 4 those out there hopefully who are interested to get a peep into where those worlds intersect -
norm from thursday (etc) just dropped a chat w/ pete for his hardcore zine (anti-matter, est. in the early '90s) and i wanted 2 share it here -
pete on '90s chicago hardcore, folks who didn't really belong elsewhere being able to find a space in that scene, the shock factor of growing into a level of tabloid culture far outside of that bubble, and how it all impacts fob and his life to this day -
just some fun interesting stuff in here to hear. i believe anti-matter is going on some sort of a hiatus in the new year but i still highly rec lookin through some past content for now and staying tuned for the future, so i'll leave you with this -
subscribe 2 anti-matter here
anti-matter on instagram
#wavernot4lovetalksmusic#also. extremely random thing to pull from this probably but their shared dilemma of the standardized test race question gave me a chuckle#i distinctly recall never knowing how to answer that either#fall out boy#pete wentz#pop punk#fobposting#god damn it turns out i can't tag this as “hardcore” because tumblr thinks i'm going full porno#no tumblr you are thinking of the wrong kinda XXX i am just trying to earth crisiscore lore post about fall out boy origins#another day another brand new sentence out of the mouth of wavernot4love you heard it here first everyone#hardcore punk#that'll have to do
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also! if i take a while to reply to things, please be forgiving! i have 23 drafts and 25 asks currently. that's not even mentioning the things i have going on discord, too. i am a sloooooow writer when i'm not fixated on a specific character. and i have other shit going on, too. i may seem like i reply to some things really fast, but that's not the reality for everything i am capable of.
#this isn't like. @ anyone either#this is me looking at my blog and being like YIKES i have so much to do and i'm literally only talking about lilith#not to even. fucking mention that i'm working on part of her page again rifp#after i finish her page i'm gonna. make a general post of hey! read everyone's pages before interacting with them!#bc it's becoming. obvious who has and hasn't read them rip#i know i took a nap but god damn i am tired today. i think it's bc the weather's getting colder for a snow storm tomorrow#* ooc: let's go lesbians!#im so tired i forgot my ooc tag fuiewrjegto
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Headcanon time. Five Pebbles would hate being held in any way unless he specifically started or consented to it because otherwise it would make him feel small and or powerless
(look at my tags boy)
#rain world#rainworld#which he is. small little man#he strikes me as the type who immediatly goes defensive when someone implies even remotely that he is not their equal#ergo his insistence that he is better than most other lifeforms. something something was made to be better than moon#and yet disappointed so many ancients. probably some iterators too somewhere#ERGO HIS COMPLETE DEAD SILENCE WHEN HE GOT THE ROT. BECAUSE IT WAS SEEN AS A BAD THING BY EVERYONE AND THEY MESSAGED HIM ABOUT IT PROBS <3#oh you think lowly of five pebbles? shut the fuck up he'll show you. he doesnt need any help to fix anything.#actually he doesnt need anyone at all. also its suns fault that he got the rot its not him that made the mistake hes not inferior to anyone#trust him he promises hes just as good as everyone else. actually hes better which is why he doesnt need any of you#-five pebbles' subconscious probably#five pebbles#rw five pebbles#superiority and inferiority and god complex all at the same time having little guy. he is so normal i am so normal about him#damn this post started off as an observation. lol. lmao even#i cannot shut up about my blorbos sometimes#esp in the tags lmao
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"Disgraced Warden X Golden Boy Crow" is such a good ship and so funny when one of my first DA ships was "Golden Child Warden X Disgraced Crow"
#aeducan never experienced hardship the events of origin and never questioned her decisions ONCE#meanwhile thorne is like 'oh fuck. oh god. am i doing the right thing? am i ok?' to everyone#(except to a certain someone in the fade cuz theyll be damned if they let that guy think theyre weak for even a second)#veilguard spoilers#des thorne#dragon age spoilers#dragon age veilgaurd spoilers#*correction to the first tag since i cant edit it i meant to say aeducan had never experienced hardships til the events of origins
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🌟
#you guys already know what tf is up!!!!#i should do a tag for sentinelposting so my poor followers shouldnt have to see this but im not gonna#u guys can count yourselves lucky i was gonna sentinelpost yesterday too but i didnt! so ur welcome#im gonna cryyyyy everything this show does is so endearing to me idk why#im not s3ep21 and we got a double whammy of slow-mo AND car chase scene#also the amount of stunts and like explosions and crashes they do in this series astounds me#modern series would neverrrrr#jim and megan are going undercover as a couple moving into a house AND STILL. AND STILL#jim has to have his emotional support blair sandberg moving in WITH THEM#insane. insane. the modern tumblrinas wouldn't survive this#they refuse to be separated for a single god damn episode and im not even in the infamous soulbond ep yet#also i love simons actor he Brrrings it every single time#hes got this like. i mean its not exactly camp its not exactly exaggerated but its like. its so funny#esp when hes in scenes with sandburg im having such a good time#sorry guys for getting obsessed with a stupid old series nobody cares about i genuinely cannot help it#also theyre so color coded this ep like whyyyy is everyone wearing red was this a conscious decision? im gonna cryyyyy#aaaaaaaa#my post#dw guys only like 10 or 9 eps left ^-^ i am gonna immediately rewatch some of them though so you will never stop seeing my sentinel posting#<3333#im cryinggggggg megs like flirting with jim and he IMMEDIATELY had to bring up sandburg#yes bitch we know hes the most important thing in your life!🙄#im actually gonna cry im having so much fun
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adding:
sofia m.antega / wind d.ancer - m.arvel comics (h.umberly gonzález)
#a friend introduced me to new m.utants 03 and ..... that is my daughter she is my baby she is my angel#there's hardly anything for her in the tags or just Anywhere really and i think that's a GOD DAMN SHAME#i am SPEEDING through her lil wiki list of appearances right now .. i know Hardly Anything about x.men stuff but .. i'm learning#i've been yelling as i'm reading and i just.. i think she's Neat she's been bouncing around inside my head for like a week#also i'm probs just gonna yeet everyone on the same blog again bc i'm feeling some kinda way abt tumblr rn (unmotivated)#anyway hi hello ily i am hugging you through my screen
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the truth is i actually get so insanely jealous
#not even ab christmas gifts and stuff its likr#idk obvi its christmas ppl will post their hauls but its like damn? more than 3 items person??#every year i get a pair of pjs and something practical. not that im complaining because its shit i use but#we dont make gift lists. we arent asked and arent allowed to want stuff so idk how to ask for it. then ppl ik have 30 plus items of junk an#i donr care ab presents because im a hoarder who doesnt use my shit but they have families who know of their interests#who talk to them everyday and go out of their way to converse. i don't even know my brothers fav color. my mother doesnt know my fav food.#me and my grandma say at most 6 words a day cuz of a language barrier and my father is a baby who doesnt reach out first#i eent to a friends house 2 dsys ago snd the whole family was chatting and the house was so lively and homey#then i go home and nobody says a word to each other. idk what code everyone has that im missing but oh my god im so jealous#im jealous of their relationships their freedom their partners the amount they spend their friendships their personalities#i want to be like them. i want to be them. but im me and the most i said to mom on christmas day was merry Christmas. then get yelled at#l speaks#shut up l#ranting in the tags because i can#its like god took his time making their lives as close to perfect as possible then went to me and was like ehh#he made me odd and offputting enough to make me different then made me 'normal' enough to not raise any flags#then put me in the most virtually normal home environment that at its core is fucked#but idk. its 5 am i havent slept in 2 days merry Christmas happy new year.#posts that couldve gone in the notes app
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