#i am not projecting i would never project youre projecting

[hy6erion]

viktor and jayce fighting over you??

𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐲 - 𝐕𝐢𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐉𝐚𝐲𝐜𝐞

⇢ 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲/𝐧, 𝐠𝐧! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐨

1. The Scientific Method (or How to Win You Over)

It starts subtly—at least, as subtle as Jayce can manage.

“You know,” he says, leaning against your desk, broad shoulders blocking your view of the latest schematics, “I was thinking—you and I should go out sometime. Just the two of us. For research purposes.”

You don’t even have time to process before Viktor, seated across from you, speaks without looking up from his own work.

“Research into what? The effects of secondhand embarrassment?”

Jayce shoots him a glare. “Into team bonding, Viktor.”

“Mm. And what hypothesis are you testing? That you can single-handedly drive them to madness?” Viktor hums, scratching something in his notes. “A bold assumption, but I suppose it is not entirely unfounded.”

Jayce turns back to you, ignoring him. “Dinner. Drinks. Maybe some—”

“A headache,” Viktor mutters.

Jayce groans, running a hand down his face before pointing at you. “You. Pick a side here.”

You exhale, setting down your pen. “I don’t even know what we’re arguing about.”

“We aren’t arguing,” Viktor says at the same time Jayce huffs, “We are arguing.”

You stare at them both. They stare at each other.

This has been happening for weeks.

It’s not always this obvious—sometimes it’s in the little things, the way Viktor always ensures your coffee is warm but lets Jayce suffer with whatever’s left in the pot. Or how Jayce somehow always has an extra set of tools whenever you’re missing yours, grinning like he wasn’t just waiting for the opportunity.

And the way they bicker—gods, it never ends.

“Fine,” you say, leaning back in your chair. “Jayce, we can do dinner. And Viktor, you can join.”

Jayce groans, throwing his head back. “Not the third-wheel invitation—”

“I accept,” Viktor interrupts smoothly.

Jayce turns to him, expression wounded. “Dude.”

“You do not own them, Jayce.”

“Neither do you!”

Viktor just smiles.

You take another sip of your coffee. This is going to be a long night.

2. The Art of Winning (or Just Being Petty)

“Y/n, my dearest, most trusted lab partner,” Viktor says, sidling up next to you while you’re examining some blueprints. “You are an artist of unparalleled skill. Would you mind assisting me with some designs?”

You raise an eyebrow, but before you can answer, Jayce materializes from across the room.

“Woah, woah, hold on, I was just about to ask them for help.”

Viktor tilts his head, feigning confusion. “Just about to? How convenient.”

Jayce narrows his eyes. “You knew I was gonna ask them—”

“Mm. And yet, I asked first.”

“That doesn’t—”

“Time is linear, Jayce. Surely you understand this.”

Jayce looks ready to explode.

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “You both know I have other work to do, right?”

They don’t. They definitely don’t.

But Jayce recovers first, flashing you his most charming smile. “C’mon, you know I have the bigger project right now—”

“Size does not determine quality, Jayce,” Viktor interrupts. “By that logic, your brain should be much more effective.”

Jayce’s jaw drops. “Did you just—?”

“Mm?” Viktor takes a slow sip of his tea.

You sigh, turning away before you witness a murder. “I’m flipping a coin. Heads, I help Jayce. Tails, I help Viktor.”

Jayce’s shoulders relax. “That seems fair.”

Viktor hums, noncommittal.

You flip. The coin lands. You glance at it.

Then, you slap it onto your palm before either of them can see and say, “I’m helping myself today.”

Viktor huffs a quiet laugh, and Jayce groans, dropping his head onto the nearest surface.

“Brilliant,” Viktor murmurs. “I am rubbing off on you.”

Jayce mumbles something into the desk. You pat his shoulder in consolation before walking away, leaving them to their stalemate.

3. The Heart of the Matter (Or: Maybe They’re Not as Subtle as They Think)

At some point, you begin to wonder if they even know what they’re fighting over.

Because it’s not just lab work. It’s not just projects, or coffee, or who gets to sit next to you during meetings.

It’s you.

And they’re both smart enough to know it, even if neither of them says it outright.

It’s in the way Jayce’s gaze lingers whenever you laugh, like he’s memorizing the sound. The way Viktor’s voice softens when he murmurs your name, careful, like he knows the weight it holds.

It’s in how they both wait for you at the end of the day, pretending it’s just coincidence.

It’s in the way Viktor watches Jayce’s arm brush against yours and says nothing, but his fingers tighten around his cane. In how Jayce watches Viktor pull you in to murmur something close and he says nothing, but his jaw tenses.

It’s in the way neither of them will ever say it—but neither of them will yield, either.

And you?Well.

You just let them fight.

[mortalityplays]

thanks for the bad faith reading. you're wrong, btw.

I aready said this isn't a semantic thing, but you if you really want to go there: 'zine' is a shortening of fanzine or magazine and the concept of a 'fanzine' itself is directly derived from a style of independently published magazine that has roots at least as far back as the Harlem Renaissance and arguably the political pamphleteering of the french and american revolutions. but the actual point I was making is that the entire ethos of zine making originates in an effort to broaden access to publication, and we are losing that.

am I saying nobody ever slapped a $20 cover price on a zine before the 2020s? no! am I saying no influential underground publication has ever made the crossing into fully fledged magazine? no! am I saying I will come to your house and punch your teeth in personally if you use the word zine in a way I find objectionable? no! I'm saying the trajectory of commercialisation, professionalisation and lost knowledge is not only stripping foundational meaning from the form but directly harms the viability of low-overhead zine production. just look through the notes of this post for dozens of people saying they'd never heard of the homemade zine before this post, that they'd been burned by high production 'zine' projects and soured on the whole concept as a result. no equivocation: this shit is killing the medium.

but hey, maybe the $15 zine is the norm and I'm just pearl clutching because I don't like genshin impact or whatever. let's look at the cover prices of some historically important zines at launch:

oh sorry, my bad, these aren't 'fanzines' let's try again

mm but of course the very first fanzines ever published would be cheap and amateur, the form was still being figured out. what about the one everyone on tumblr loves to call the birth of fandom:

well fine, but what about zines that deal with serious social issues? that involve research, outreach, even risk on the part of the creators?

believe it or not (or refuse to believe it) but the history of zines is not the history of bag-getters. accessibility has always been the lifeblood of the form, and that includes financial accessibility.

I have zero fucking power to wave a wand and magically exclude everyone whose projects I think are tacky from using the term 'zine', but what I can do is appeal to people to remember that being asked to submit a portfolio for consideration is the exception, not the norm. gloss covers and kickstarter tiers with vinyl keychains and custom wall art is a new and alien graft on a very old medium. being treated like a subcontractor on a 50-person art collaboration that will only be affordable to middle class kids with middle class disposable income runs entirely counter to what used to be the definitional feature of zine making. sure I'm being intractable. I think we should all be a lot more intractable about this. we saw what happened to webcomics.

the whole point of a zine is that it's cheap to produce, amateur and homemade. if you're being asked to apply to participate in a print project, it is not a zine. if the final product is being printed and bound professionally, it is not a zine. if you are being asked to enter into any kind of licensing agreement more complex than "my work can be reproduced as part of this publication" it is not a zine. nine times put of ten if the final product costs more than $5 you have left zine country. im so serious about this.

[dilf-docs]

This Thing Upon Me, Howls Like A Beast

professor!pedro pascal x younger!reader

summary: to cover some social hours and as a favor to your recently fallen-ill friend, you become your research methodology professor's TA. but here's the catch: you've got history, and what you really mean is beef; good, pure, unadulterated loath.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, pwp, rivals to ??, hate sex, p. in v. (do i even wrap it atp), degradation kink, daddy kink, lwk exhibition kink bc this happens on his office (rip to the furniture), bit dom!pedro + brat taming (again?? stop it mayor we get itttt omg) sprinkled here and there, fingering, squirting, creampie (everyone got invited to the party), reader is a loud-mouth (who's this divaaa), pedro's kind of an asshole and a perv in this one (ooc sorry), don't expect a second part this is literally just self-fulfilling filth without a storyline

word count: 6,451 words

side note: hello! this won the poll. am i the only one with this fantasy? pls tell me not; i feel insane looking some of my professors like a fucking starved drooling dog. giggling as we speak, bc the movie's got everybody insane between marvel renaissance, gif dump, new content, husband!pedro material and professor wet dreams out there... this piece of work is the last. hope you enjoy it, citizens! ps. jin of bts makes an appearance bc i love my seven men and i'm currently sick so he is sick too lmao (ah pero para escribir cochinadas ahí sí estás sana verdad)

It's your fault, really, for opening it in the middle of the class. It was a link, and you should've saved it for later, but then your thumb clicked into the blue underlined text your friend sent, and the reel popped up on your screen.

Your laugh erupted before you could cover your mouth, your professors' words hanging mid-air.

"Who did that?"

Everyone looks at you. Those sell-out, ass-kissing, boot-licking dicks.

His eyebrows furrow until they seem to melt into one, a big angry scowl on Mr. Pascal's face.

"Something you'd like to share with the class, Ms. Y/n?"

His voice reverberates on the class' walls, sounding even scarier.

You shake your head, tone quiet as you let out a small, "No"

"No?" he repeats your words, mocking your insecure demeanor, "because with that loud ass laugh, it seemed like something important enough to dissrupt my class. So please, share. You can't leave us wondering in here"

People cough and avoid your gaze while you wish the building would collapse and kill everyone inside, you included. Oh, that would be good. But no, you're stuck on a space that now feels too small and his persistent gaze cuts right through you.

"I-It's not important-" you stumble over your words.

"Can't speak anymore? All that boldness, suddenly gone"

"Mr. Pascal" you plead. God, you had never even begged for anything in your life. But there's always a first.

"I said share" his voice menacing, like he's got not an ounce of sympathy in that sturdy body that could fit plenty. No, wait. Focus!

He grows impatient at your lack of movement, practically growling his next words:

"I won't repeat myself"

"I-I I don't know how to-" you cut yourself off, cringing at how pathetic you sound. "It's a video, so-"

"Then cast your phone and project it" he clicks his tongue, clearly enjoying this. What a sadistic motherfucker.

"I-I can't-"

Can Jesus please hurry up and come fast? Even better, immediately take this one to hell, please.

"Aw, you poor thing" he tuts, mockingly. No one dares to speak, and you'll learn later that he's got his own reputation. For a reason.

"Don't worry, I'll help you myself"

Turns out, the fucker made you and your shaky legs stand up and walk the walk of shame. Then, you had to proyect the silly video, which in handsight, wasn't funny anymore. While some of your classmates laughed, that didn't lessen how humilliated you felt.

It had happened during your first year at university, on a subject you really couldn't care less and when you were still (practically) a baby; freshly eighteen. But now you were twenty, almost finishing your career, and the shaky insecure teenager was long gone, replaced by a secure (albeit a bit of a bitch), confident woman.

That had been your first encounter with professor Pascal.

You have to give him some credit: he is kind of the reason why you did a full 180 on your personality.

But life always comes back to bite you in the ass.

"What do you mean you're sick?" you scoff, "we were supposed to go to Dave's party tonight!"

Your friend lets out a cough that sounds borderline animalistic.

"First of all, don't come closer. I'll pass it to you" Jin speaks up, voice rough from the earlier death-threatening cough. "And second, do you think I care about a stupid party? I'm dying here"

"Don't be so dramatic" you roll your eyes.

"Hello? Didn't you hear that cough?!" he sounds offended, reinforcing the feeling by throwing one of his used tissues at you. You dodge his lame throw with a yuck. "I think you're devoid of empathy"

"Well, thank Mr. Pascal for that"

Jin wasn't your friend when that happened, but when you became buddies, he eventually came to know about your beef with the older man. Yes, beef, because after the Reel Deal (as you both have come to call it), he made your life impossible. If it weren't for your skills and intelligence, you'd probably fail his subject. Mr. Pascal gave you the hardest time ever: be it pairing you with the absolute worst students or making your assigments more difficult, for an "unknown" reason.

Eventually, even after such a traumatic experience and subject being way behind, it became a staple in your duo to bring him up everytime something negative happened or was mentioned.

("You're so funny!")

("Thanks, a professor pushing fifty made my life impossible when I was eighteen")

But here's an even funnier thing: for unknown reasons, Jin became his TA last semester. Probably he didn't know that you were friends, and that has to be the reason he's actually a decent human being towards the younger boy. I'm telling you, Jin would insist, the whole mean asshole shtick is propaganda!

"Talking about him..."

"Stop" you raise your hand dramatically, "enough bad news today"

"You can still go to the party, you know?" he giggles, earning another cough that practically leaves him voiceless. "Why do you insist on taking me? I don't know this people!"

Jin was two years older your senior.

"But it's not fun without you!" you insisted on dragging him around everywhere after you met because he tutored you. "Who will I bore with all my failed flirting attempts?"

"Thank God, not me" he ignores your pout. "Besides, wasn't like Marcos insisting you went with him? There's your chance!"

"But Marcos is boring..." you draw out, "and I need a man who makes me laugh"

"You can't really ask for that much in this economy"

Okay, here's the deal: there's another reason you can't let go of the Mr. Pascal subject, and it's not because of the beef. Hell, Jin can't know about this or he'll never let you live.

The answer is quite simple: as infuriating as he is, Mr. Pascal is hot. Like, middle-aged hot, with the greying hair and face marked by lines that tell time. If it wasn't for him you'd probably never discover your preference towards more... aged meat. You should be furious, and you were, but during all your petty arguments over topics or slides that didn't deserve to be reviewed for more than five minutes, the fire that ignited in your lower belly? You've never felt it before, and if that managed to get you more hot and bothered than a fresh boy ready to kiss your lips, neck and below? Well, that's a serious issue.

But it was his voice, that treated you with such vitriol, a deep and rich sound reserved just for you, or be it the way his auburn eyes seem to catch fire whenever you opened your mouth, dark forests burning in flames that threathened to reduce it all to ashes; yo were eager, anticipating the burn.

He saw your defiance, and instead of putting you in your place, he matched that wild rageful spirit of yours that refused to be tamed.

And that you liked, despite the history of hate between you.

"What about him?" you appear nonchalant, while retouching your makeup for the party.

"About him who?" Jin quips, "we just talked about two fine men-"

"The much older man"

A weird smirk forms across his lips. "Sure, of course"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. But it will be fun, nonetheless" he sits up straight from his previous surrendered position on the couch. "So, remember how I'm his TA, right?"

"Yes?" you pause. "Wait, if this is for me to help you check again more homeworks, no. I am not helping you read a hundred papers again for free"

"They weren't a hundred!" he barks. "Besides, it's not that"

"Then?" you press, not admiting how interested you were.

"Do you see my poor state?" you nod, not understaning where he's going. "Then, you're aware I'm not capacitated to do said task as of right now"

"I'm aware" you repeat, "what I'm not, is what does that have to do with me?" you resume your activity, going for your eyeliner. "So much mystery when you could've just said it in a pass"

"I need you to cover up for me"

The liquid eyeliner paints a line across half of your face. "What?!"

He laughs at your reaction, "You heard me"

You leave the mirror, now focusing your attention on him. "It's not April Fools yet, Jin. Heads up, it was a terrible prank"

Even if it made you hot to have such dynamic with your former IM professor, you weren't exactly keen on seeing him again. For you, he had turned into a memory slash fantasy at some point: an asshole that got your panties wet and pussy slick when you touched yourself at night, on behalf of all the dumb uni boys who couldn't reach that sweet spot of yours. What a dirty girl, his velvet voice on your head would say. Why are you touching yourself to your supposed foe, a much older guy? Fucking slut. Yeah, there was no way you'd go back to the real thing for the real him to taint the image you got off almost every night to, so he could say your name in that animosity that leaked with a barely contained rage and poorly disguised distate that left a bitter taste on your mouth, ego and self-steem on the ground. Because the truth is, no matter how much you argued back, he always won. You had just found your voice, but all efforts to bring him down seemed powerless, and he had won every single battle: even if he didn't have the last word, just with a look, he made you feel small, stupid and meaningless.

Nope. Not going back.

"And you have a terrible way of coping" he's quick to counter back. "Listen, it's not so bad. You just have to do meaningless tasks and pretend to be interested. Simple, right? Look, those extra credits could be useful, you know? And you excelled the class, y/n. Easy!"

"You're making it sound trouble-free as if the man doesn't hate me"

"He's definitely forgotten about it!" he waves his hand, dissmisively. "Probably jokes about it, like us!"

"Mr. Pascal doesn't seem the type of guy to have humor"

"Humor me, then" Jin sighs. "Do this for me, yes? When have I ever failed you?"

You wish for some sense to get into his skull. Had he forgotten every single anecdote?

"Think of all those times where I've taken you home, carried you drunk. Or the sad heart breaks I've been through with you, remember? Brought you ice cream and watched your favorite movies. Or when I used to tutor you? Or-"

"Enough of your emotional manipulation, Mr. Kim" you shake your head, dissapointed, all to avoid the quiet rage to settle in. "I thought better of you"

"It's for a week. Days if this pills do a miracle" his big black eyes look at you, pleading.

"Jin, you're not being a very good friend"

"It's just this one favor" he sighs. "Look, I can't loose this thing, okay? I get the credits I need to finally leave this shithole. If I don't show up, they'll hand it to someone else. You may not believe it, but it's very demanded"

People making lines to be emotionally abused by your former IM professor? Sure thing!

"Can't you tell someone, though? I'm sure they'll understand and you can go back once this cold is gone"

"I already did so, and they told me to show up or quit, due to the wait list of people applying for the position" you roll your eyes at your university's antics and their bullshit policies. "I don't trust anyone else to not fuck it up, but you. You'll just have to tell him about this minor inconvenience, and Mr. Pascal will understand. You know, I'm kind of his favorite guy in there..."

Great, just what you needed.

"Sorry to break it to you, but as soon as I walk through that door, all that pretty boy privilege would be gone"

"Please, y/n. Please"

"You'll never ask me any other favor?"

"No" he looks rather desperate; it's funny. "Hell, you can use the lake cabin for your birthday bash if you-"

"Deal"

Were you that easy to buy, huh? What does that say about you? Fucking ass sell-out.

Okay, but a birthday party in that all glass modern cabin with a deck and a jacuzzi does sound tempting. Who could be blamed? Not you, who will have to face her biggest foe in exchange for one wild bash.

You take a deep breath, imagining the lake water splashing and champagne on the deck (ugh, Jin's parents had a waterbike too. They were loaded), before knocking on his office. The door flings open, almost hitting you in the face, and there he is: Mr. Pascal, with his brown hair with white on the sides, loose curl over his face. Your fingers definitely don't itch to touch it, of course.

He's sporting a grumpy look (when doesn't he?), his big hands (you had forgotten how big they were) holding a bunch of papers (great, work!).

"Goddamn it, Jin. I was about to call you for standing me up, you know I hate when people don't tell me-"

He stops on his tracks, and that all too familiar scowl deepens his face.

"You"

Seethed with such venom, it's quite scary. Your legs tremble, yet your pussy clenches.

"Yes, me" you can't help but let out a little laugh at his antics. What did Jin said about him not remembering you? Well, can't be blamed; you weren't easy to forget.

His jaw clenches while looking down at you, but this time, you don't dare to flinch.

"What are you doing here?"

"See, Jin is my friend-"

He interrupts you, body frame resting on the door with a relaxed posture, but his shoulder looks tense.

"Oh, I liked him. Liked, as in past tense" he emphasizes, like a child throwing a tantrum. "How can a kid like him be friends with you?"

"We're best friends, thank you very much. As a matter of fact, I'm here as a favor" you hand him Jin's written apology, that may have one or two sneezes over it. "He's sick, and I'll cover him for a week, just so he doesn't loose the position. Said you would understand"

"I do" he replies on an instant, "you I don't"

"I passed your subject. With honors, even after you made my life impossible" you reply. "I'm the best candidate, face it"

He's rendered speechless for a moment, before he bites back:

"What makes you think I won't do it again?"

Now it's you who doesn't know what to say. It's infuriating how he still keeps winning.

"That's right" a wicked smile adorns his face. "Stay and find out"

Boy, don't you love a challenge?

So you stayed, much to his surprise. The bastard probably thought you were still the same scaredy mouse from first year.

Oh, it was delicious the way his whole face fell at your entrance next morning, how he quickly replaced it and introduced you in a clipped tone.

"Where's Jin?" a girl sitting in the front row had asked, more students joining to ask for his absence. You wonder if your friend's popularity stems from his brain or looks.

"He's sick" you answered. "But don't worry, he'll be back soon"

"Thank God" Mr. Pascal voices out loud.

You shoot him a look. He wasn't joking about not making it easy, was he?

"Oh, I didn't take you as a man of faith, Mr. Pascal, but you're right. It's important to thank our Lord everyday. So, thank Him for this week where I get to offer my suffering. In reward" you turn to face him, all the class silent as they take in your weird exchange, the atmosphere tense, "I'll never see your face again"

This time, you weren't going down without a fight.

"We'll see about that"

There it was: the fire to your gasoline.

So you pushed back, and argued everytime you disagreed, things that weren't part of your work but you still did because well, if he was still hellbent on making you suffer, you weren't going to make it easy for him this time.

If students argued against him, you took their side; even if just one did, you had their back.

You finished grading, but when returning the papers, you'd let them fall with a heavy thud over his desk, not even daring to look back.

At the time he'd talk to you, you wouldn't answer, instead just doing so, but no words to be uttered his way, as if he wasn't worth the effort. Not even a clipped okay.

And you enjoyed this; savored how he'd take every one of your petty actions with his full chest, eyebrows furrowed and face red in anger, but never answering, just silent, like deep in thought, a cold and calculated look overtaking his brown eyes.

Then the veins on his neck would pop as the ones of his tight white-knuckled grip on his mug. He'd speak up, and his voice had your legs shaking for some friction, wet spots now more often on your lingerie.

That he didn't know.

All he did was you were now more than a pebble on his shoe: a huge fucking stone, going down the hill, ready to squash him.

But boy, didn't he love a challenge?

It's Friday, aka last day of Torture Week.

You drop the quizzes for next Monday on his desk with the same harsh movement you had done all week.

"And it's over" you announce, papers plopping next to him, who is writing something. Mr. Pascal's hand moves, his L much longer than it should be. He looks up at you, annoyed, but his eyes flash with a hint of amusement.

"I see you can talk"

"Well, you already know me, Mr. Pascal. So you should be aware of what I can do"

"Love if you'd enlighten me"

He leans back on his chair, arms resting behind his head. It's hard not to take a brief glance to the flexing muscles, or how he's rolled up his sleeves, arms bulking up with the action, the fabric tense. It's hot in here. Wait, or has it gotten hot? Your face feels red, and when he catches your lingering gaze, he smiles devilishly.

"Like what you see, Ms. Y/n?"

No. You refuse to let him win this again, so close to the end.

"The release from prison?" you regain your posture, "very much"

"You may be a loud-mouthed brat, always knowin' what to say. I'll give that to you" he props himself to the front, elbows now resting on the desk as his eyes scan yours with a shade of dark covering them. "But a good liar you ain't"

You try to remain still, face emotionless, but your professor is a man of experience; an expert on his field. He who investigates, who has majored to be able to notice every small detail that can contribute to a hypothesis, has now formulated his.

You want this as much as he wants to.

You, with your wobbly legs and nervous eyes, glancing up at him with a hungry gaze that matches his own, despite your angry posture and irritated tone. You, that picked up petty arguments just to rile him up, because you liked the command for power on his voice. You like this, didn't you? Feeling small and weak, fangs pointy, just barely gracing the skin; the edge what set your skin on fire.

He isn't one to hold grudges (he's just mean all the time), but Pedro is willing to show you he hasn't forgotten about the years, and he'll be more than willing to fuck that bitchy attitude out of you.

"Hello?" you snap your fingers in front of him, "are you there?"

He snaps back to reality, your face covering his vision. In his position, he gets rewarded with a delicious peak at your breasts and the nude lingerine hiding them. He can imagine the perked nipples and the rosy plush skin he'd love to trace his tongue with, because even when you speak in a harsh voice, your eyes speak another thing. Fuck, he thinks he can even smell your arousal.

"I was talking to you" you don't even give him room to reply; snotty ass. "Said I was already leaving"

He thinks of himself as merciful. So he stands up, your bodies barely brushing against each other for a second, before he's opening the door, towering over you. He's so close, you can see the grey hairs mixed with the brown ones on his beard and mustache. God, you can smell him: coffee, cigarrettes, sandalwood and leather.

"You're free, Ms. Y/n" he follows your line of joke from before. "Just, humor me with one last thing"

You glance over at the clock above his desk. It's barely noon.

"Yes?" as dry as possible.

"Why did you accept?"

It's a simple question, really, but it manages to catch you off guard.

His tone is so different, maybe that's why: it's low, impossibly low. For less attentive people, it could even pass as a growl. But you hear, the amusement and dare laced within the velvety tone.

"Because I'm a good friend" you manage to speak, his body caging your smaller frame against the door.

This is ridiculous. You can leave at any time. Hello? Have your legs not gotten the memo?

"I didn't think you were capable of good things"

You huff, annoyed. "Well, I passed your subject, didn't I?"

He clicks his tongue.

"Many before you, and more after you have. Doesn't make you special, y/n"

Your name alone leaves a savory and toxic sweetness on his tongue.

"But how many of those you remember?" Mr. Pascal shots up an eyebrow, confused. "Tell me, how many can you name? That's right. I changed your life, whether you like it or not"

He's quick to reply. "Bullshit"

"Bullshit" you mock his angry tone, "but you recognized me the moment you opened the door. It didn't even take you seconds, hell, you hadn't even fully seen me and you knew who I was. Doesn't take a great investigator to figure it out, does it? So I take you missed me"

He can't believe your fucking mouth.

But then Pedro's remembering the way his pants tightened when you started to stand up to him, getting even worse when he still managed to shut you up. Fuck, the way you had smirked when you approved his subject during your last project delivery. He let you, because well, you had earned it: for the way your image had been the perfect companion for his hand pistoning his cock will full force, thinking of that loud mouth of yours gagged with it. Or when you walked past him in the hallways, wrapped in your own little bubble, your carefree laugh erupting and bouncing off the walls, tickling every hair of his body.

Part of him had accepted Jin to be his TA if that meant having a piece of you, even if a small connection, to you. Did you think he wouldn't know? That he wouldn't see you walking by in those small skirts that rode over when you bent? He noticed you; after all, you were in the same place most of your day.

You had excelled his subject after all, hadn't you?

So of course you'd notice his stare lingering in your back like a hand over your ass. How his eyes would dart to the skirts you wore on purpose, attentive to the moment you'd drop a pen on accident and your panties would be on sight, a wet spot in the middle you hadn't even noticed that smelled. Fuck, and wasn't it sweet?

You really feel like you have won this, don't you?

"Miss you?" Pedro hisses the words out. "I didn't miss you. What I think is happenin', is that me missing you is what you want"

"And I think you're repeating the same words and fumbling thoughts because you're a big egocentric prideful asshole who can't admit he's got the hots for his younger student"

"God. Don't you have such a filthy mouth, baby?"

Before he can register and you've fully let the nickname sink, your hand slaps his face with a potent movement that reverberates across his office's walls.

"You're a fucking piece of work, Mr. Pascal" but instead of being offended (or you don't know, fight back?), he remains silent. "You dirty old spoiled prick. Think I would never fight you back? That you can get away with whatever this is?"

"Whatever this is?" he chuckles, a sound rumbling deep from his chest. "Well, pretty girl, ain't you started this?"

He looms over you, hot breath carressing your face softly.

"Me? Unbelievable" you scoff. "You're one to talk, humiliating a poor freshman"

"Poor? You were distracted, in my class! Did your parents never teach you manners?!" his words leave droplets of spit that land in your face. "I had to put your stupid ass in place; that'll teach you something"

"Like what?" you taunt, recklessly, chest up and down with uneven breaths.

"I see it didn't work" his body language does an immediate switch. You remember a predator ready to strike their prey. "Maybe I should've tried harder"

His eyes do a wild dance over your body as so do yours.

Lip. Eyes. Skin. Cleavage. His tight pants. Biceps. Legs. Hair.

Before you can register, he's got you pinned against his desk, door closed in a loud move. There's a click sound somewhere in between, but you're too busy feeling his big hands grabbing your face roughly, as if he wants to consume your skin and feel your very bones on his calloused tips.

His lips are impossibly wet and eager, hands needily gropping your body. He pushes all his weight over you as he deepens the kiss, his tongue now inside your mouth, making you falter.

You let out a breathy moan when your back hits the desk, the wood digging your skin, but he swallows it whole, making it impossible for you to talk.

"Mmph-"

"Mmph?" he mocks between kisses, not giving you the chance to take a breath, or maybe he was scared you would get the time to think and would push him away. "Just my mouth got you all worked up, baby? Can't even speak"

Your fingers run through his hair for support, curls between your fingers. They felt soft, like they were meant to be combed through over and over again. He dives his head in your neck, hot mouth wet with its trail of kisses, making you squirm.

"I see" his breath ghosts over your reddened skin, "you wanted this just as much, don't you? This boys aren't enough for you?"

Every hair on your body prickles, his mouth claiming every spot he could, bites and hickeys all over your skin. You whine, pouting your lips, missing his already.

"It's okay, baby" he laughs, "just gotta show them who's enough for you" he grunts, "a man"

Mr. Pascal takes off your shirt, well, basically rips the poor thing, his hands relieved to finally touch your breasts. He roughly grabs one of them, and you bite your lip so hard, you almost feel the bitter metallic taste in your mouth. He lowers himself, despite his aching joints, to play with your hardened nipples, lapping them with his warm tongue, sucking and swirling until they turn swollen.

Your hand finds its way to his formal pants, fingers gracing over the fabric, feeling his cock straining against it. Just like you imagined it: big, like his presence. If it could, your pussy would jump in excitement, realistically just throbbing and leaking.

You untie his belt and buttons so you can begin to rub over his boxers. You can feel him trying to meet your touches, grinding onto your palm. He groans, deeply, enjoying your hungry stare, steady beat, parted lips and wet cunt.

He bucks his hips against you, propping himself on the wall behind his desk, which had moved from its original position thanks to the mayhem.

"You clearly don't know what you got yourself into, baby. But don't worry, I ain't letting you go just yet"

He pulls the skirt up, revealing the damp panties and mess between your legs. He licks his lips before rough digits find your wet folds. His fingers carress your impossibly tight walls, coating them with your slick.

"So fucking tight" he groans against your collarbones, "thought of yourself as uptight but I can fucking smell you dripping, you dirty slut. Could tell you loved provoking me becayse that's the only way your snotty ass can get off"

"F-fuck you, Mr. Pascal" you manage to choke out.

"Where are your manners? After how I've rewarded your big mouth, you bitch" he takes off your panties with skilled practice, the piece falling to the floor with a weak sound. Your bare cunt makes you shiver. "You think you're smart, baby? You think you can play these games and face no consequences at all?" he tuts. "No, Ms. Y/n, you know I hate wastin' my time, so be a good girl and don't make this harder for you, get that?"

You whine at his words, but refuse to shut your mouth.

"Oh, I'm smart" you laugh, "smart enough to have you on your knees for me"

An ugly grin spreads across his features.

"I will never bend for a bratty pretentious slut like you" he grips your hair with force, leaving your neck exposed, "You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into, stupid cock hungry whore. You wanted my attention? It's all yours"

Then, with a low, almost feral growl, he grabs your hips and hoists you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He sweeps the papers and books onto the floor with a clatter, setting you down on the edge.

"You better behave, baby" Mr. Pascal bites your lower lip, "don't want people to know what we're doing in here, do you? Or would you want them to know just how much of a slut you are, spread on my desk as your cunt drips for me?"

He steps between your legs, pushing them further apart, his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises. He leans in, his face inches from yours, voice low in a threatening rasp.

"I'll behave, I promise" mind in blank.

"No loud mouth bitchy stuck up attitude?"

You free his cock, hands scouting his shaft, his base, and balls. You fondled them while his fingers lingered closer to your pussy.

"No"

"This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be fucked stupid and used for my pleasure? Well, get ready, because I'm not going to stop until I've had my fill of this sweet little cunt"

He savors at the sight of your glistening folds.

"Let me-"

He laughs, seeing how you desire to guide his cock towards your entrance.

"Eager, little one?" he teases.

"Yes" you whimper, "I need you so badly, papi"

Your plea mixed with Spanish sends him on edge. His eyes darken with a primal, almost feral hunger at your desperate plea.

His voice is strained, rough with barely restrained lust.

"Fuck, you needy little thing. You want to take my dick until this desk breaks?"

He rubs the swollen head of his dick against your dripping slit, coating it in your arousal. Then, with one powerful thrust, he slams into you, burying himself to the hilt in your tight, hot cunt.

"So tight" he groans, starting to move and setting a brutal pace from the very beginning. The desk shakes and creaks beneath you with each forceful thrust, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through the empty office. He punctuates his words with a particularly hard thrust, grinding his pelvis against your clit. He sets a relentless, punishing rhythm, determined to fuck you into oblivion.

It's a goddamn view in here: him above you, droplets of sweat falling to your face, pristine hair now disheveled.

At this point, you were clenching so hard it hurt, walls fluttering around his massive girth. But he's greedy, and he's pushing himself deeper and deeper.

"Runnin' your mouth but now all quiet as you take all of me, hungry greedy whore" he digs his fingers into your cheeks harshly, but you find pleasure in the sting the pain causes. "Bet this is all you been thinking since you started talking back, huh? Don't worry, daddy's got you"

Surprisingly, he leans down, capturing your mouth in a dominating kiss, tongue invading your mouth. His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, squeezing lightly, a silent reminder of who you belong to.

"God. You're wet everywhere, baby"

His sweaty chest presses itself onto your tits as he forced his cock deeper within you, the plaid shirt sticking with sweat to his ablazed body, temperature high.

"T-the desk" you protest numbly; mind-fucked.

And oh, boy, doesn't he enjoy this view? Your fluttering eyelids, hazy eyes and trembling body.

So he keeps fucking you: pounding into you, rolling his hips skillfully, taking up all the space within you.

"I don't give a damn fuck about the desk, Ms. Y/n. I'm gonna fuck that attitude of yours until all you know is my name" he leans down, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of your neck, biting down hard enough to leave a mark. His hands grip your hips with bruising force, pulling you harder against him with each violent thrust. "Gonna break the desk, hell, fuck you on the floor if necessary, but you ain't leaving this office until my cum drips from your legs and everyone knows your tight little cunt is mine"

The desk groans and wobbles beneath you, the legs scraping against the floor as Pedro fucks you with wild abandon. The sound of your moans and the crude, wet slap of skin on skin echoes obscenely in the room.

His pubic bone grinds against your clit with each thrust, the rough friction sending jolts of electric pleasure shooting up your spine. His cock hits that perfect spot inside you, the one that makes your toes curl and your back arch off the desk.

He feels your walls starting to flutter around him, your body tensing as your orgasm approaches. Mr. Pascal leans in, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a dark, intimate rasp.

"Why don't you be a good girl and tell daddy how good he's making you feel? Show me and everyone else what a desperate little slut you are, waiting for me to fill you up nicely with my seed"

He makes out of you a loud mess, a series of sweet sounds falling from your lips. You clench and he twitches, his digits holding your waist, keeping you in place for him.

"Good girl" he praises, "now you're gonna take it all, milk me dry, you greedy cocksleeve"

His thrusts become erratic and sloppier. The older man can feel your walls starting to flutter around him, body tensing as your orgasm approaches. He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a dark, intimate rasp.

"Will you be a good girl?"

"Yes!" you cry out, "don't stop!"

You hated this humilliation, how easy it is for him to fuck you with his big cock. You fucking hated him. But didn't he make you feel so good.

"Then come on my cock, bitch"

You didn't think it was capable, no, but you did. A first, another first when it came to Mr. Pascal.

You squirt. You fucking squirted.

Pedro lets out a feral roar of triumph when your pussy spasms around his pistoning cock, your release gushing out and soaking his dick and the desk, papers and shit beneath you (no, not the quizzes! You had printed them this morning). He savors the way you throw your head back, eyes rolling until they turn white on your fucked-out face.

"Such a sweet cunt, baby" he praises. "Milk me dry, come on"

Your slick walls milking him dry pushes him over the edge, clenching around him, and he knew it was over. He snaps, arching his back as he roughly moans. With one final, brutal thrust, he buries himself balls-deep inside you, his cock throbbing and pulsing as he starts to come. Thick, scorching ropes of cum paint your insides, flooding your womb with his potent seed, still pushing the remnants inside when he grinds against you, his pelvis pressed tight to yours as he rides out the waves of his intense orgasm. His grip on your hips tightens, fingermarks surely to be left in the soft flesh as he holds you in place, ensuring you take every last drop of his release.

"That's it, pretty baby. Can't even speak, can you?" he captures your mouth in a deep, dominating kiss. Like he owns you. "As you can see, I'm a man of my word"

He breaks the kiss, his forehead resting against yours as he pants softly. His eyes, when they meet yours, are dark and intense, filled with a primal, almost feral satisfaction.

It's humilliating, really, how your lips search for more. You need him, badly, despite how shit he treats you and how wrong all of this is. Is this a win or a loose?

"Good girl" he repeats, his sweaty forehead clashing against yours. The desk creaks yet again. You love when he praises you, and you whine on instintic, making him laugh. "Learned your place just yet? Listen carefully, Ms. Y/n: no matter what you do or say, I'll always win, get it? And you'll be nothing but a needy uptight slut who begs for my attention and cock"

He pulls out of you slowly, his softening dick slipping from your well-used hole with a gush of their combined releases. He tucks himself away, doing up his pants with quick, efficient movements. His thumb brushes over your lower lip, smearing a streak of his cum across it.

"Go on. Taste it, and tell me how it feels"

Your tongue does a lazy movement, making your lips moist thanks to the saliva and his cum, like a fucking gloss. You shouldn't enjoy this, really, but your body shivers when you feel the taste of him going down your throat as you swallow.

"Good" you manage to speak, salt on the tip of your tongue.

"Good" he repeats, voice low and menacing, "because we're just getting started"

[rosylix]

Hii! I've never requested but I can't get this idea out of my mind..

So basically Felix and reader have been college roommates for a year or two but Felix ends up falling for them and has to tell them cos it’s only a few months till graduation.

Totally understand if you can't do it, but thought I'd ask!

everglow

𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝒸𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓇 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓂𝓸𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓮𝓍𝓉𝓇𝒶 𝓈𝓅𝓮𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁

your best friend and roommate is acting especially sentimental tonight. you try to get to the bottom of it

pairing: felix × gn!reader

wc: 6.3k

content: college au, friends to lovers, feelings realization, shy felix, oblivious reader, they're nerds, fluff, light angst, crying?, pouty lix, kissing, mildly suggestive?, hopeful ending

a/n: my first fulfilled request?? i apologize if this was sitting in my inbox for forever.. i wasn't planning on writing a whole thing but then suddenly. i had an epiphany. ty for helping me out of writers block anon 🫶 i hope this is kinda how you were envisioning it!

[also read on ao3]

—

Your college dorm is a familiar sight, the mess of papers and coffee cups giving away the fact that the end of the year is fast approaching. You've been sharing this space with Felix for the past couple years, both of you working hard to keep your grades up and—hopefully, somehow—graduate?

…You're sure it'll be fine. As long as you do well enough on your capstone project, which is why you're sitting at Felix's desk, dutifully researching. Sometimes you take to his room when you need a change of scenery or just want company; though it's just you right now as Felix had to leave for class earlier.

You're just about to take a stretch break when you hear the front door open and soon enough, Felix trudges into the room. “Still here?” he says when he sees you.

“Unfortunately.” You set your things down and look over at him with a long sigh to convey your exhaustion.

“Dude, same,” he groans, tossing his bag on the floor before flopping down on his bed. “I don't think I've ever been so fucking tired in my life. Why did I pursue higher education again?”

That gets you to laugh a little. “Maybe for some kind of high-paying job and… a sense of accomplishment?” you suggest.

He lets out another groan, rolling over on his side. “But at what fucking cost? Sleep deprivation and a caffeine addiction?” He looks at you with wide, pleading eyes. “Remind me why I'm doing this again.”

You get up and walk over to his bed, sitting down on the edge next to him, a playful smile on your face. “Well, I seem to recall someone who said they wanted to be some hot shot computer engineer.”

He props himself up on one elbow to face you. “Ooh, you think I'm hot?” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

You give him a look that hopefully conveys how much of an idiot you think he is. “Hot shot, dumbass.” 

…Still, it would be dishonest to disagree: your roommate is attractive. Anyone with a working set of eyes can see that.

“Ohh, I see. You think I'm hot shit?”

You roll your eyes so far back it almost hurts. “As if you don't hear that enough.”

He grins, clearly amused and clearly not above shamelessly fishing for compliments. “Oh, but it's so much more fun to hear it from you,” he teases, leaning back against his pillow.

You give him a withering glare but he just reaches out and pats the spot next to him on the bed. “Come sit down.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “I am literally sitting down.”

“Okay, well, closer, genius.”

You sigh exaggeratedly, but you humor him anyway, scooting over closer to where he's lounging on the bed. You thought that was enough, but this is Felix, and you should have known better. He reaches out and grabs your wrist, gently but firmly tugging you down next to him.

He shifts so he's on his side facing you and grins, clearly satisfied. His hair is messy and there's a hint of dark circles under his eyes, but he still manages to look unfairly attractive.

You shake your head at his antics and let out a long sigh. “Well… You've already made it this far, you know,” you tell him. “Only a few months left of dealing with school, and then you're done.”

“...Yeah.”

He's quiet for a moment, his gaze drifting across your face, a hint of something almost like melancholy in his eyes.

“Why am I kinda sad, though?” he finally asks with a chuckle.

You blink. “Sad? About being done with school?”

He nods. “I mean, I want to be done, god, believe me I do, but…” He blows out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “I dunno, it just doesn't feel as good as I expected it to. And I'm…” He pauses, clearly thinking his words over.

“I'm… gonna miss this, honestly. A lot.”

“This?” You gesture around the room. "You're going to miss this? Our tiny-ass, overpriced apartment?"

He laughs at that. “Not this place, I guess.”

“Then? The constant lack of sleep? Exams? The shitty cafeteria food?”

“Please,” Felix scoffs before taking a deep breath, looking somewhere behind you. “I'm… going to miss this." He looks back at you and pokes your shoulder for emphasis. “This. Us living together. Hanging out all the time. I'm going to miss that.”

You blink, a little taken aback at his earnestness. “Oh,” you say intelligently. “Yeah. I…”

You try to ignore the way your heart is suddenly in your throat. In truth, you've been doing your best not to think about it, how things will inevitably change after graduation.

“I mean…” you start. “It's not like we're never going to see each other again or something. We'll keep in touch, right?” But even as you say it, you feel yourself deflating. It’s not the same.

His expression reflects yours, his smile soft but a little sad around the edges. “...Of course we will.” He sounds like he's saying it as much to himself as he is to you. 

He's silent for another moment, his fingers gently running over the blanket, not quite meeting your gaze.

“It won't… be the same though,” he says, mirroring your own thoughts. “Like— you know? I'm gonna miss the convenience store we always go to at 2AM, I'm gonna miss our late-night study sessions and the shitty coffee you make, I'm gonna miss how you always use up the hot water in the shower and your annoying alarm waking me up at fuck-ass in the morning—” He suddenly cuts off, a flush rising in his cheeks.

He turns on his back again, slinging an arm over his eyes. “Ugh, I don't know, just shut up and let me wallow in my feelings.”

You're honestly a little speechless. All that, things he claims are annoying — he's going to miss it all that much?

“Hey,” you say gently, nudging his shoulder. “Hey, you sap, look at me.”

“No. I'm wallowing.”

You roll your eyes. “I can see that.” You poke his arm. Then again, harder. “Come on, look at me.”

Felix huffs dramatically, lowering his arm and turning his head to look at you from the corner of his eye. “What? I’m looking.”

Your heart clenches at the sight of him. He's pouting, looking a little petulant but still so endearingly cute, and you can definitely see the hint of embarrassment in his gaze as he peeks at you.

You let a smile spread across your face. “You're gonna miss me.”

Felix averts his gaze, his cheeks going a little pinker. “I mean, a little, I guess,” he mumbles, before letting out a heavy, dramatic sigh. “Ugh, why are you looking at me like that? Don't let it go to your head or anything.”

It's so obvious that it's more than just a little — but you decide not to call him out on it. Instead, you lean forward, propping yourself up with one arm. “Too late,” you tease, grinning widely. “You're gonna miss me so much.”

He groans, throwing his forearm over his eyes again. "Whatever. Shut up.”

You look at him silently for a moment, taking in his flushed face and his messy hair. God, he's so cute. You've always been aware of how pretty he is, but there's something about seeing him like this, completely unguarded and vulnerable, that's making your lungs feel tight.

You clear your throat awkwardly, shifting your gaze away from him. “Hey, come on, cheer up.”

“No,” he says, still hiding his face behind his arm. “I'll just lay here and wallow and die."

“So dramatic,” you chide, poking his side roughly, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts. You're starting to feel a little flustered too.

He whines at the contact, swatting at your hand, but you notice he hasn't moved his other arm away from his face. “Ow, hey, violence,” he complains, curling away from your fingers. “Ow, ow, dude—”

You reach out and grab his wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. He lets out a half-hearted protest, but doesn’t get the chance to resist.

Oh. His eyes are shining.

You freeze. 

He's pouting again, but it's less childish now and more vulnerable, embarrassed. For a moment you just sort of stare, suddenly hyper-aware of how close the two of you are. His face is so close, so pretty, and your heart is doing something strange, beating rapidly in your chest.

“You’re—” You clear your throat, struggling with what to say. You… hadn’t realized how much this was impacting him.

He looks away and blinks hard, but his eyes are still a bit misty, unshed tears stubbornly sticking to his eyelashes. “Sorry. I'm being stupid,” he finally says, his voice a little quiet. “Ignore me, I'm just being weird, it's—” He swallows. “...I'm tired.”

Oh, god. You've been joking and teasing and making fun, but now you just feel like the biggest jerk, because he's actually really upset about this.

“Wait, no,” you murmur, suddenly serious. “No, it’s not— You're not being stupid. I—” You're having a lot more trouble than usual forming coherent sentences.

Your hand is still around his wrist, your fingers pressing against his pulse point. You squeeze it lightly. “It's okay.” You can feel the rapid beating of his heart, in contrast to the rest of him lying completely still. “It's not stupid. I’m— I'm gonna miss you too, idiot.”

He lets out a wet sounding laugh at that, rolling his eyes, but he doesn’t pull his arm away from your grip. “So mean,” he says. “Do you have to insult me to say nice things?”

“Well, yeah.”

The corners of his mouth twitch and you feel a bit of relief that you've managed to cheer him up a little.

“But you mean it?” He looks up at you with a shy expression. “You're gonna miss me?”

“Of course,” you say, suddenly struck by how much you mean it. “Yeah, I am. A lot.”

He lets out a low breath, eyes flicking over your face. “Yeah?” he says quietly. 

It's silent for a moment. Felix is still looking at you, a little shyly, and it's driving you a little crazy. He sighs, his brow pinched slightly, like he’s struggling with some internal conflict. You wait patiently, giving him space to express what he wants to say.

But he doesn't. Just averts his eyes and blinks harshly at the wall behind you.

“Please don't cry or I'll start crying too,” you say with a bit of a nervous laugh.

Felix lets out a shaky breath. “...I’m not going to cry.”

You give him a look. 

“I’m not,” he insists, using his free hand to rub his eyes. “I have allergies or something, I just— I—”

He hesitates, clearly trying to gather his thoughts. 

“Okay, look,” he sits up, pulling his wrist free from your grip and taking a deep breath. “It's just— I…” He stops, running a hand through his hair nervously. 

“Felix?” you ask, sitting up too. You're starting to get a little concerned. Why is the mood suddenly so weird?

He groans, burying his face in his hands, his voice muffled when he speaks. “This is embarrassing.”

It doesn't help your concern. “What’s embarrassing?” you ask carefully, trying to keep your voice steady.

“This,” he mutters, still hiding his face.

You hesitate a moment, not really knowing what to do, before tentatively reaching out and touching his arm. “Um… It's fine, you can talk to me.”

He lets out a frustrated breath before finally looking at you. “You’re not gonna like it.”

Oh. “Well… Did you… like, kill someone or something?”

Felix stares at you for a moment, clearly trying to keep a straight face but his lips twitch a little. “No, I didn’t kill anyone, you psychopath,” he says dryly.

“Okay, well, good,” you say, clearing your throat. “No illegal activities? The government isn't after you?”

“I… No,” he says slowly.

This conversation is taking a bizarre turn. “And you're not, like… secretly an alien sent to spy on humans this whole time? And… now you have to return to your home planet to plot the annihilation of Earth?”

That finally gets Felix to laugh. “You're— you're a fucking idiot,” he says through giggles. “Seriously.”

“I’m just checking,” you say, crossing your arms. “You're being all weird and shit and…” you gesture vaguely. “Maybe you're an alien. I don't know.”

That only sets him off giggling again. “Oh my god,” he says, leaning his forehead on your shoulder, his body shaking with laughter. “Why are you so dumb.”

You roll your eyes, just relieved to see him smile. He's much more relaxed now, the mood in the room lifted with his laughter. All part of your plan. You're more than happy to appear ridiculous if it means seeing him laugh.

He finally stops laughing, though he’s still smiling a little as he lifts his head and looks at you. He’s much closer than you anticipated, and you try not to be too distracted by the freckles around his eyes and the way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks as his gaze flicks across your face. He’s looking at you intently, and the air in the room feels charged, electric almost.

“You…” he starts, but hesitates, cutting himself off with a shake of his head. “Why are you so dumb,” he repeats.

Wow. “Now who's being mean?” you pout.

He laughs again, but it’s softer than before, a shaky, nervous sound. “God, I— this is so stupid, I—”

He lets out a frustrated breath, staring directly into your eyes, his expression intense and focused. “How do you not notice,” he mutters under his breath.

You’re frozen under his gaze, your heart suddenly in your throat. “Notice… what?”

Felix closes his eyes. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter.”

What? “It seems like it matters since you’re…”

He opens his eyes again, looking a bit pained as he looks at you. “Just… just forget it.”

You don’t know what to say. You can feel your heart beating wildly in your chest, your hands shaking slightly. “Uh… okay,” you say. “Sorry for… being dumb…?”

He grimaces. “No, I didn't mean it like—”

He lets out a long, heavy breath, shaking his head. Then he reaches out and takes your hand, his fingers brushing against your wrist.

His voice is quieter when he speaks, looking down, idly playing with your fingers. “Just… you’re supposed to notice,” he mumbles, almost to himself. “It’s supposed to be obvious.”

You stare at him, confused and flustered and… honestly, a little distracted by how he's touching your hand. “What's… uhh, what?” Everything feels like it's too much all of a sudden, and your chest is really starting to do something weird.

He sighs. “Nevermind. Seriously.”

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again. “When we graduate,” he starts. “...Which I guess is really soon, huh.”

The way he says it makes your chest pang painfully. He’s still not looking at you. “I won’t see you anymore…” he murmurs, his voice so quiet you can barely hear him.

You grab his hand, stopping him from fiddling with your fingers, and squeeze gently. “Hey,” you say. “C’mon, it’s not like that.”

He huffs out a bitter laugh. “Isn't it, though?”

It kind of feels like you’ve been punched in the gut. This isn't like him, he's usually the one full of sunshine and optimism, reassuring you. But right now, the defeat in his voice is palpable.

The reality of the situation starts sinking in. Time’s almost up.

“Felix,” you say quietly, and he finally lifts his eyes up from his lap to look at you. His eyes are watery again.

He swallows, his voice breaking a little as he speaks. “Sorry, I’m being… I’m being unfair, I just…” He hesitates before continuing. “I don’t want to not see you.”

You frown, tears pricking your eyes now too. You don't trust your voice to speak, throat feeling tight and uncomfortable.

“And you’re just… so oblivious,” he continues, his finger tracing over your knuckles. “So stubborn, and dumb, and you’re probably the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my life and I seriously cannot believe I like—”

He cuts off suddenly, slapping a hand over his mouth.

Wait.

“Felix,” you murmur, and his eyes dart up to meet yours, a little panicked. He tries to jerk his hand away from yours, but you hold on tighter, keeping him in place.

“Felix,” you repeat, your skin buzzing from the way he’s looking at you. “You can’t just… leave me hanging like that.”

He looks away, face a brilliant crimson red. “Yeah, I can.”

You almost want to laugh. You didn’t realize he could be so shy, but you can’t focus on that now, because your heart is racing and you can’t tell if you’re going to pass out, or pass away.

“No, you can’t,” you say shakily. “When are you gonna tell me? At the commencement ceremony?”

He lets out a half-choked, almost hysterical sort of laugh, keeping his head turned away so he doesn’t have to look at you. “Yeah, something like that.”

He has to be joking. “That’s months away!”

“And?”

You shake your head, feeling dizzy. “I’m not gonna wait that long, are you insane?”

He huffs and glares at you, pouting. “Oh, well I’m sorry, would you just rather I shout it from the fucking roof tops then? Hey, everyone, I’ve been in love with my best friend since freshman year!”

What.

You blink, stunned speechless, your eyes wide. 

Your mind is spinning, the air in the room suddenly too thick to breathe. The words in love keep ringing in your ears, over and over again.

“You— you what?” you manage to get out, feeling a little faint. You must not have heard him correctly. You're hallucinating, or having a stroke or… something. He can't actually mean—

Felix winces. “...Fuck.” he mutters, dropping his head into his hands.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, brain still struggling to catch up to the situation. You’re still processing that he said the word love, when the last few words register.

“Wait— freshman year?” you say incredulously. “You’ve— since—?”

He’s clearly trying to act somewhat composed but the bright red on his ears betrays him. “Um. Yeah. Shut up. Stop talking,” he says, voice muffled from behind his hands.

You think about the past few years of your life, every interaction with him, and it’s like everything suddenly clicks into place.

The way his ears turn pink whenever you compliment him. The way you could always get under his skin so easily. You think about every time he got defensive, or huffy, or pouty at something innocuous you did or said.

…The way he's never really shown interest in anyone, despite the plenty of interest shown his way. The countless people he's turned down, for seemingly no reason. When you'd questioned him about it, he'd just laughed awkwardly and said he preferred to focus on his studies.

“Oh my god,” you say again.

Felix groans and hides his face further, his ears practically on fire. “Stop. Don't,” he mutters. “It's okay. Just… pretend you never heard that, okay, it's fine—”

“No.”

It’s silent for a moment, Felix still hiding his face, and your mind still swirling with thoughts. 

You kind of want to kiss him.

The realization is sudden, but not entirely unexpected. It’s not really a surprise, honestly, just another thing that feels natural. Maybe because deep down, of course somewhere along the line you've developed feelings for the person you can trust with anything, who gets you more than anyone else. Your favorite person in the world.

You’re only half in your right mind as you grab his wrists, pulling his hands off of his face.

“You ass,” you say, staring directly at him.

He looks at you with wide, panicked eyes. “I'm sorry—” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Can I kiss you?” 

He chokes, eyes going even wider. He opens his mouth, then closes it, clearly caught off guard. After a moment, he manages to find his voice, though it’s very high pitched and shaky. “What?”

You take a deep breath. “Can I kiss you,” you repeat, your head feeling fuzzy, your pulse pounding in your ears.

“…What?” he asks again. His face is bright red. “Are— are you serious?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” you murmur, leaning even closer, your faces almost touching.

His breath catches, and his eyes dart between your eyes and your lips. “Please say you’re not,” he manages to say, voice breaking.

“I’m not,” you say, feeling a little crazy. Insane, maybe. You can’t really bring yourself to care. “Can I?”

He doesn't give you an answer, letting out an incredulous breath before grabbing the front of your shirt and yanking you forward as he falls back so you land on top of him.

You’re about to protest at the continued lack of a clear answer, but then he’s kissing you and you forget how to speak.

It's not the most graceful kiss, you’re both a little clumsy, but it’s sweet and it’s Felix and that’s all that really matters. You figure it out quickly, getting into a rhythm, and he lets out a shaky breath against your mouth, his hand moving to tangle in your hair. You feel like you’re dreaming, or drowning, or both.

Felix is kissing you. Felix is kissing you. Your closest friend. He’s in love with you, and he’s kissing you.

It makes your head spin. After several moments, you finally pull away, panting and dizzy. You feel a little delirious, staring down at him, both of you catching your breath.

His head falls back against the pillow, face turning impossibly red as he blinks at you like he’s in shock. You laugh a little and he huffs, but his eyes soften.

“So… you, uh— You— Are you—?”

You cut him off with another touch of your lips, effectively shutting him up. He instantly melts into it, tightens his grip in your hair, pulling you further into the kiss, and you can’t think straight, everything is just Felix. 

After a while, you’re forced to break away again for air. Felix whines at the loss of contact, eyes half-lidded, his cheeks flushed. You only manage to get a few breaths in before he's pulling you down into another kiss, more urgently this time.

You let out a surprised noise, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. He seems to be determined to kiss you senseless, and it’s working. 

He bites your bottom lip, making you gasp into his mouth. He mumbles something in response, his thigh sliding between your legs, and your brain short-circuits.

Okay. You shiver. Okay. You should probably… You manage to pull away for a much needed breath and Felix tries to chase after your mouth, but you press a hand to his chest to hold him in place.

He groans, looking frustrated, but flops back against the pillow obediently. He blinks at you dazedly, his own chest heaving, eyes half-lidded and dark, but his expression quickly morphs into a pout. “Why… Why…?” he complains, trying to tug you closer again.

You huff a weak laugh, shaking your head, and he gives you a wide-eyed look, all innocence and sweetness, and that's not fair that he can look like this after all of that.

“Just— one sec,” you somehow get out, your mind still completely overloaded. “We should… uh…”

He’s still trying to reach your mouth. “What,” he mutters, breathing heavily against your neck.

“Talk,” you manage to say, even as his lips make their way to your jaw. “We should… we need to… oh my god—”

You cut off, stifling a gasp as he sucks on your skin. “Felix,” you say, trying to be stern, but it comes out like a moan instead.

“Mm?” he hums against your ear, completely unapologetic. “You want to… talk?”

“Yeah.” It takes all your willpower to pull away, ignoring how he whines in protest. You sit up and take a moment to compose yourself, willing yourself to ignore the urge to just give in to him.

Felix flops back onto the bed, throwing his arm over his eyes as he sighs, his voice sounding a little raspy.

“Sorry,” he mutters, his ears red. “Sorry, god, I've thought about this so much, I just—”

Oh. “You’ve… thought about…? How much…?”

He makes a strangled noise and covers his face more thoroughly, voice muffled. “Oh my god,” he groans, “I'm going to fucking die. I… a lot.”

…Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. Okay.

“...How much is a lot?” you ask, unable to resist your curiosity. And maybe you want to tease him about it. Just a little.

He groans again. “So, so much. An embarrassing and pathetic amount.” He’s not even trying to hide his pouting. “Can you please not make me say the actual words.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing, but the way he sounds — breathless and embarrassed — it’s honestly kind of adorable. He’s always so confident in most aspects of his life that you kind of love seeing him so flustered.

“Please… don’t,” he mumbles, peeking at you. “I’m begging you…”

He's blinking up at you, the picture of innocence once again. He glances up at you through his eyelashes, all pretty and delicate and ugh, he's absolutely doing this on purpose.

“You’re distracting,” you say weakly, staring down at him. “Stop making cute faces at me.”

He does not stop making cute faces. He tries though, lowering his hands as his face drops into a scowl. “I’m not making a cute face,” he protests.

“Yeah, you are,” you say, raising an eyebrow. “You’re doing it right now. Your pouty thing.”

He sniffs. “I'm not,” he says petulantly, though there’s a hint of mirth in his eyes. “This is just my regular face. It’s not my fault if my face is cute.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, okay.”

He opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off with a finger, placing it over his lips. His mouth instantly snaps shut, and you can’t resist a little grin as he looks up at you with wide eyes. 

You watch as he swallows, his eyes fixed on you, and, not for the first time, you’re reminded of how pretty he is. He’s always been gorgeous, in an objective sort of way, but you feel like you’re seeing him for the first time.

You move your hand away and take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. You need to talk about this while you’re both still somewhat coherent, or you’ll go absolutely insane.

“So…” You’re a little pleased with how steady your voice is, considering the circumstances. “You… love me.”

Felix coughs and covers his face again. “Do you have to say it like that,” he groans, his voice muffled by his palms.

“You never… you never said anything.” 

He just shrugs, still hiding his face. “I was scared to lose you,” he says with a shaky breath. “I didn’t expect you to want me back…” There's no bitterness in his tone, just disbelief.

You frown. “But you’re—” You bite your tongue. Felix was worried about you not wanting him?

You shake your head, a somewhat acrid feeling welling up inside of you. You've seen firsthand the sheer amount of attention he gets from people, from the random gifts and outright confessions and people slipping him numbers and notes everywhere he goes. There's never been a shortage of interest in him, from all sorts of people. Compared to him, you're… nothing.

“So… this whole time, you just… thought I was clueless?” You're still trying to wrap your head around it.

He sighs. “I mean, kind of,” he says, his eyes peeking through his fingers. “You’ve been completely oblivious to anyone who’s ever flirted with you.” 

Including me, he doesn't say, but you're starting to put the pieces together.

You wince, your face flushing. “I’m not that oblivious,” you protest weakly. “I just… I’ve never been particularly interested in… anyone.” 

Felix stares at you, one eyebrow raised.

“Like…” It's true that you've never really liked anyone very strongly in all your time at college. Some fleeting crushes here and there, but even the few people you had tried to go on dates with always felt lacking in some inexplicable way. You always felt much better as soon as you'd come home to your shared space with Felix, always feeling the most comfortable in his presence. Was that it? All this time, no one could ever compare to your best friend? 

And the constant attention Felix would get… It annoyed the hell out of you. At first, you would tease him, even encourage him to give them a chance, delight in the way his face would turn bright red. But it quickly became so annoying watching him have to navigate awkward conversations, politely turn people down. Sure, a part of you was probably a bit insecure always watching him receive so much attention. At least, that's what you told yourself. But beyond that, you think you're finally starting to understand the feeling for what it is.

Jealousy.

“Oh my god.” You’re starting to realize what a mess this entire situation is. “We're both idiots.”

Felix finally drops his hands from his face, giving you a dry look. “Speak for yourself.”

"Shut up," you say absently, not even annoyed. Your head is reeling.

This is… a mess. Felix is in love with you, you’re pretty sure the feeling has been mutual for a while, and you’re both leaving this place in just a few months. 

“So… you’ve never liked anyone before?” Felix asks. His tone is a bit teasing, though there's curiosity beneath.

You make a face. “Um.” Yeah, that's what you thought for the past couple years until now. How much do you reveal?

All of the puzzle pieces are clicking into place in your mind, making your head hurt even more. So much time wasted, you want to cry.

“I guess no one ever compared to you,” you say without thinking, and immediately slap your hand over your face.

“Oh.” There’s a second of silence as you both process the words.

Then, Felix starts laughing.

“Oh my god,” he mutters, struggling to contain himself, barely managing to keep his laughter under control. Your face is growing redder by the second, embarrassed and annoyed.

“Will you stop?” you whine.

“I’m sorry, I just—” he tries to get himself together, taking a deep breath before looking at you fondly. “This is the corniest fucking shit I've ever— holy shit. We're actually both stupid.”

“I told you,” you say, smacking him on the arm. 

He just snickers, grabbing your wrist before you can hit him again. He pulls you so you’re half-lying on top of him again, and you can feel his shoulders shaking as if he’s trying to keep from bursting out into another fit of laughter.

You let your head fall against his chest with a huff, still annoyed even as he wraps an arm around you, his hand rubbing against your back.

“You jerk,” you mutter.

He hums, sounding amused. “You love me.”

You go rigid, and he starts to laugh again, obviously enjoying the fact that he found an easy way to fluster you. 

“Shut up,” you grumble weakly, burying your face against him.

It isn't fair. He’s had time to fully realize it, years apparently. He’s had time to process everything. Meanwhile, you feel like you’ve been completely blindsided. 

He finally stops laughing and you’re both quiet for a few moments. You can hear his heart drumming loud in his chest.

“Wow,” he says suddenly. “We could have avoided a lot of stress if we realized earlier.”

You let out a snort of semi-hysterical laughter. “I know,” you agree, before pausing and wincing. “Oh god, I can't believe we've been… that we've been living together…”

“Yeeeahh… That's been torture by the way,” he says conversationally, as if he's discussing the weather, and your cheeks flare up. 

“...Torture?”

He squeezes your side. “Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself every day? Every time you wear my jacket, or… anything? Wearing those hoodies on movie nights—”

“I get it,” you cut him off, your face absolutely burning. “I get it, I’m—”

“Stupid?” he offers helpfully. “Oblivious? Cute?”

“...You never said anything,” you say weakly in an attempt to defend yourself.

“I wasn't going to make things awkward,” he protests. “Can you imagine if I’d actually said anything and you just… what? Said no? And then we have to keep living together like normal?”

You bite your lip, trying to suppress the guilt stirring in your stomach. You can’t even begin to imagine what it's been like from his perspective.

“...Sorry.” You shift so you can actually look at him, but he won’t meet your eyes, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as he pouts.

“You really didn't notice?” he asks, finally looking at you. “Even a little?”

“No.” You feel a frustrated sort of laugh bubbling up. “We’ve been so stupid. We could’ve… we’ve wasted so much time, years—”

“Hey, hey,” he interrupts, seeing your expression, sitting up and gently placing his hand on your cheek, and you stop abruptly. “It doesn’t matter,” he says reassuringly. “We have time, okay? Plenty of time.”

You’re still struggling with the whole situation, trying to process everything as you stare at him. “But… we’re graduating.”

He gives you a small, unsure smile. “Yeah. We are.”

"And… I don't even know where I'm going. We could be—”

“Hey.” He cuts you off, placing a finger gently on your lips, and you bite your tongue, looking down at him. “Stop worrying so much. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

You try to take a deep breath and he leans forward until his forehead is touching yours. 

Your mind is still racing, your entire universe is completely tilted, and you’re not entirely sure how to deal with any of it. But Felix is close and his hand is still on your cheek and…

And you want to focus on that instead, ignore everything else for now.

“Yeah?” you say weakly, your eyes fluttering shut.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice a little more firm, and he brings his other hand up to cup your face.

“For now,” he continues, his breath warm against your skin. “Let’s just…” He lets out an unsteady laugh, his hands still gently framing your face. “Can we just…”

Your entire body feels a little shaky. You lean forward a bit, closing the distance, and he sucks in a sharp breath.

“Yeah,” he breathes before slanting his mouth against yours.

It’s not very decorous. You’re both a little desperate, a little uncoordinated, trying to make up for years of lost time.

It’s messy and you can feel that he’s still a little nervous — as are you — but he's also determined. He pulls you closer, one of his hands sliding into your hair, tugging gently in a way that makes you gasp into his mouth.

Then he suddenly pulls back after a few moments, laughing when you whine pathetically in protest.

“Shh, hang on,” he says, slightly out of breath, and you open your eyes dizzily.

“...What?” you complain.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “I… I just remembered that I…”

You watch, utterly befuddled, as he pushes against your shoulders so he can sit up. He gently lifts you off of him, answering your whine of protest with a quick kiss before his hand drifts away from your face, reaching for his phone.

You try to grab at him. “What are you doing—”

He laughs and dodges out of your reach. “Just gimme a second,” he says, turning his phone on as he settles back on the bed.

You sit there, feeling dazed and frustrated as he taps at his phone, his attention focused on the screen. After a few moments, he finally seems to finish what he’s doing, putting his phone down with a satisfied hum.

When he meets your eyes, he just looks amused at your expression. “Sorry, sorry,” he says with a grin, moving closer to you again.

“What was so important,” you pout.

“I was meant to meet with my group mates for our project tonight,” he says. “So, I told them I'm feeling sick.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Felix.”

He has the audacity to just smile innocently, already shifting so he can push you down against the sheets.

“What?” he says casually, hovering over you, his hands coming to rest on your waist. “I wasn't gonna be able to focus anyways.”

“Oh.” You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks again. “Is… that really okay…?”

“Don't worry,” he says, leaning down and pressing a light kiss into your neck. “I practically carry them anyway, they can live without me for one night.”

You swallow, feeling his hands slide up your arms, his touch leaving a trail of sparks along your skin. “Okay,” you agree, completely distracted now, your thoughts hazy.

“Mhm.” He sucks on a sensitive spot on your collarbone and you let out a shaky exhale. “Can we focus on something else right now?”

You nod. He moves up to kiss you and you know, with him, you'll figure out whatever comes next.

For now, that's enough.

—

a/n: me, a mech eng major.. ofc i had to make felix a fellow engineer. nerds 4 life (do not study engineering i crave death every moment)

also yes title is the coldplay song bc im actually uncreative as hell and name everything after songs. how do ppl come up with titles (T＿T) but anyway since it's one of felix's fav songs i thought it was especially fitting 🤍

tysm for reading 🫶

[interact-if]

Black History Month Author Spotlight: Lapin

To kickstart the Black History Month Author Spotlight series, I'd like to introduce everyone to our first IF author, Lapin (@harlequinoccult)!

(I had a ton of fun reading Lapin’s answers, and I’m sure you will too! Read on for a celebration of ‘weird,’ Lapin’s Black southern gothic / horror influences, and how a D&D game could lead to interactive fiction!

Lapin, thank you again for your candid, humorous responses, I am very honored to have gotten to know you better :D)

Author: Lapin

Black creole and cajun, artist and writer, and wannabe game developer

Games: Slaughter Squad (Horror, Slasher, Romance)

Synopsis: YOU HAVE A HUNGER A HUNGER THAT YOU’VE BEEN NEGLECTING For the most part, you’re a pretty normal mid-20-something year old who lives in a shitty apartment in the city. Well, except for one thing. Your.....”Associate” Carter “Dollface” Abernathy. Who is a murderer, and quite frankly, a sloppy one at that. And you’re the accessory to his crimes. No matter what way you’ve gotten to know the man, or how you feel about him, you’re stuck with him, and stuck with just being his little “helper” ........Or are you? Especially when you’re suddenly given a....Unique opportunity.

Games: The Valley of Luck (Fantasy, Adventure, Romance)

Synopsis: The Valley of Luck was said to be a myth. Something that grandparents would tell their grand-kids around a campfire. Even those who worshiped Lucian, The God of Luck, thought it nothing but an old wives tale. Until, one day, a man with an arm made of solid gold started telling people that he'd been there, that he'd seen the Valley. Word spread quickly, and suddenly, every continent was alight with the rumor that The Valley was real, that it could give you all the riches you could ever want, and then some. However, your quest, whether related to The Valley or not, will lead you down a much stranger path.

Quote from the interview:

My upbringing was a bit odd. I am the youngest of three, two older brothers, one being a half brother, in a black military household… Middle school Lapin was a jock. But, lo and behold, the internet started getting more popular and that kid's brain exploded from internet exposure, for better and for worse. … I feel that there is a specific and niche demographic of people like me that were raised by early 2000s to 2010s internet. And on that era of internet, were creepypastas, online horror, early ARGs….I ADORED internet horror, which was my gateway into classic horror, funnily enough. Slaughter Squad, in my eyes, is a letter to that black kid that wanted to be weird. Be weird, be messy, see a fucked up movie, get more out of life.

Read on for the full interview!

Tell me more about yourself! What are some things new readers or long-time readers might not know about you?

Both parts of my family are 100% from Louisiana, New Orleans and the deep south. My moms side have been there so long, we have two streets named after us.

Can you tell me a bit about what you’re working on right now and your journey into interactive fiction? What inspired the game/story you’re currently writing?

My main project, of course, is Slaughter Squad. I love slasher movies and horror media in general. But what I always noticed with horror/romance, at least in the visual novel scene, is that the main character is nearly always the one getting screwed over, so I thought, well, what if the bad guys actually are your peers? How would this dynamic change if they don't see you as prey? I never thought that premise would appeal so much to so many but hey, I can't complain! I adore seeing people having fun with the silly little concept I had.

Now, my secondary project, The Valley of Luck. Some may not know this, but this story is based off of a D&D campaign I DM'ed back in the day with my friends. All the ROs are NPCs that my friends had, or where going to encounter. I won't lie, I did shy away from it and changed some things when the whole debacle with Wizards of the coast (the company that "owns" D&D) Where making some...questionable decisions. But this story is my baby. My first born. This one has been in the works far longer than SLSQ and has a lot of background lore that I hope I get the opportunity to share.

I do have a few other projects bumping around, One I am particularly excited for, But that one will have to wait a little bit~

How has your identity, heritage/background, upbringing, or personal experiences influenced your storytelling or writing process? OR How does your work feature aspects of your identity / experience?

My upbringing was a bit odd. I am the youngest of three, two older brothers, one being a half brother, in a black military household. I never felt that I truly had a sense of identity until that household inevitably split up. Everyone talks about being the weird kid in middle school, but no one mentions being the "normal on the outside but wants to be the weird kid so bad its painful on the inside but can't because you were told that stuff is 'white people shit' " type of kid.

Middle school Lapin was a jock. But, lo and behold, the internet started getting more popular and that kid's brain exploded from internet exposure, for better and for worse. I was a little shitter on the internet, I can't lie about that, as much as I want to. But I feel that there is a specific and niche demographic of people like me that were raised by early 2000s to 2010s internet. And on that era of internet, were creepypastas, online horror, early ARGs....I ADORED internet horror, which was my gateway into classic horror, funnily enough. Slaughter Squad, in my eyes, is a letter to that black kid that wanted to be weird. Be weird, be messy, see a fucked up movie, get more out of life.

What does your writing process look like? Any rituals or habits? Any tips, tricks, philosophies or approaches that have worked very well for you?

Let your characters speak through you like you're being possessed by a demon.

What’s the one thing you’re really proud of that you’ve written so far? Do you have a favorite character or scene that you’ve written?

I am so serious.

is it wildly inconvenient? yes. does it help your writing a ton? also yes. Doing Roleplay with friends is a fantastic way to learn to do this. being a DM for a D&D game has basically made it so characters can simply speak from my brain at any given moment. It's also annoying because some of these people do NOT shut up. Learning how a character would react on the fly does wonders for dialogue writing and character analysis. Roleplay with your friends, or hell, strangers who are down to clown that could become friends. Be cringe. be free.

I love the opening to Slaughter Squad and if you told me to rewrite it with a gun to my head I would tell you to shoot me. I love how punchy it is and it came out exactly how I wanted it to. I don't play favorites with characters (<- lying) but my two favorites to write are the stinky little bastard cat Sterling in TVoL and.....Carter, from SLSQ. I love writing complete bastards. One being lighthearted and gets a pass for it because he's just a kitty cat and the other you want to actively beat his face in with your bare hands. It's SO funny.

If you were to say one thing to your readers, other authors, and/or the interactive fiction community: what would it be?

Write. Write it now. Doesn't have to be good doesn't have to be polish all that matters is that you WROTE IT. All the bells and whistles can come later!!!! Stop thinking about the later and think about the now!!!! Write what you love and never give two shits about if it's cringe!!! Be excellent to each other!!!

Any books, music, movies etc. you’re obsessed with at the moment, or which changed your life (or perspectives on something)?

GO LISTEN TO CHROMAKOPIA BY TYLER THE CREATOR RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

This-or-that segment: (bold = Lapin’s pick)

Coffee or tea?

Early mornings or late nights?

City or countryside?

Angsty or Cozy romances? (Or enemies-to-lovers or best-friends-to-lovers?)  

Steady progress or frenzied binge-writing followed by periods of calm?

Summer or Winter?

First drafts or editing?

Introvert or extrovert?

Plotter or pantser?

Characters or plot first?

Lapin’s custom “this-or-that” pairing: Rain or Shine

More on Black Southern Gothic:

Black southern gothic can vary a lot, but when I think of it, I think of old semi abandoned wood shotgun houses in the swamp, all white tiny baptist churches where the white paint is peeling from the heat and humidity, riding horses down a dirt paved street while people still ride by in their old busted down 1960s chevys. Old plantation houses that have been reclaimed by the swamp. The dark, humid heat of the night on a street with no streetlights. Every house you see is absolutely haunted by something and not just ghosts. Voodoo and hoodoo is different than what people will tell you it is.

Sassafrass, Cypress and Indigo by Ntozake Shange, Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jessamin Ward, and anything by Toni Morrison 100%.

[ladyshinga]

yeah gosh why would anyone EVER wanna turn a story around and play with the tropes to make a specific point?

especially when the story is heavily referenced in society by people who are blowing off warnings of ACTUAL "wolves"? ALL. THE TIME.

glad if you've never experienced this, truly... but certain big ol' marginalized groups (Jewish people, queer people, black people, indigenous, disabled, etc) have been screaming for YEARS about how much worse everything's getting and over and over and OVER were met with "god shut up, you're the boy who cried wolf" "stop crying wolf lol it aint that serious" "ugh ignore them they're just crying wolf, it's for attention"

So yeah actually taking THE SPECIFIC FUCKING STORY THESE PEOPLE USE TO BLOW OFF LEGITIMATE WARNINGS and turning it around on its head to tell a story of TRUTH being IGNORED by people who've overcorrected from the "lesson" of the original by smugly deciding with no evidence that the boy is always lying. Now no one is ever telling them the truth unless they "feel" it's true in the moment.

reimagined vs original as a broad storytelling conversation is a different thing than a situation where the LITERAL ORIGIN STORY is the reason for this discussion in the first place. If I make a wholly original story to call out the badly-learned lessons of the the original Boy Who Cried Wolf how am I to do that in a way that isn't just as DIRECT as going "fuck it just flip the exact fable on its head"

hell ignore the HUGE issues with the world for a second and ask yourself the last time you saw this comment thread:

OP: *posts a fairly mundane life story* Commenters: "LOL THAT HAPPENED" "fake story" "AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED" we're so obsessed in certain groups with being the one who catches the boy lying about wolves that inherent distrust without even CHECKING THE FACTS has become a core part of societal identity and a HUGE reason we're so easily lied to by those in power.

So yeah actually sometimes there's an actual fucking reason some one isn't creating a wholly new project from scrap and your old timey fable isn't sacred from being used for new lessons

Updated version of Boy Who Cried Wolf but there are actual wolves every single time and no one ever believes the boy - they get closer and closer every time he tries to warn them, until it's too late and the whole town screams at the boy for not warning them "enough", and blame him for the wolves at their door.

[neunnnnnnn]

Things I have experienced after shifting and rating them

Reminder we are different my experience might not be yours!!

1. Disorientation 0/10

-Time doesn't feel real at all after coming back, I would always feel like I'm high of something and the world spins for a few seconds. Afterwards during the day I feel like I'm watching the world from inside my body instead of outside my body. ( Idk if it makes sense)

2. Memories 1/10

-My memory has slowly become worse than I thought. My memories from before I first shifted are blurry and I have found myself mixing alot of memories and confusing events.

4. Dreams 10/10

-It's weird how lucid my dreams are becoming more to the point where I have actually confused reality and a lucid dream where I thought I was lucid but I was actually here 😭 I have also had a lot of vivid dreams.

5. Extraterrestrial 11/10

-Ever since I first shifted I have encountered one physically like in this reality and alot while astral projecting. It was frightening at first but they are okay, they don't bother you unless you want to talk to them. Speaking to them has literally opened my thoughts in ways I didn't realize it would.

6. Relationships

-My relationships have been more better if I might say, both in friendships, romantic wise and with my parents . This is something that I believe because I have gotten better at communicating my feelings and understanding myself better. I am able to actually not judge someone ( because everything is internal) and can easily empathize with someone more easily.

7. Not caring 11/10

-When I tell you my fucks to give have gone out the fucking window. Nothing anyone tells me affects me that much anymore 😭 like don't you know I can just dip out anytime and never return?!?! But yeah I have been caring less and less and it is freeing, letting go of worldly attachments does wonders for your mental health.

8. Sleep 9/10

Been sleeping like a freaking baby!!

9. Music 7/10

This is mostly because I was told that airpods fry your brain and I have been only listening to music through speakers or just the normal earphones. I have also been listening to music less and less. My headaches have been reducing

Again these are MY experiences they might not be the same as yours.

[softlypaintedseafoam]

i'm your conscience, i am love

synopsis. with new waters on the horizon and wano embracing a new dawn, you enjoy a private moment with your beloved swordsman.

pairing. roronoa zoro x f!reader

word count. 0.7k | masterlist

content warning. wano spoilers, reader is coded black (written ambiguously. anyone can read), established relationship, soft zoro, silent 'i love you's

reblogs & interactions appreciated.

a surprise gift for my friend @triangularz >:3c hehe, surprise hazel, i'm sure you didn't see this coming! i'm also back at it again with the i would die 4 u titles, i did warn you guys though. i've never written for zoro before but i wanted to give it a go!

You'll miss the beauty of the Flower Capital.

A fragment of guilt takes hold of your heart; yet you can't stop yourself from admitting it. From the crystal blue lake with flower petals delicately floating across its surface to the vibrant green eaves that accompany you. The Flower Capital is aptly named. It is a sight to behold, especially when juxtaposed to the current conditions of the rest of the country.

The next time you see Wano, you pray that it will be when green covers the whole of the island.

Tama will be a step closer to her dream of becoming a kunoichi, darling and excitable. Momonosuke will be a touch more mature and Hiyori will be will be as rambunctious as ever, giving her brother a run for his money now that she no longer needs to project herself as the most sought over oiran in the whole of Wano. By then, Yamato may return with you all as a full-fledged Straw Hat, seeing the country of his birth for the first time in years.

Yes, it's a wonderful scene to imagine. The warm hugs and the banquet that will ensue privately in the castle, Wano unaware that its unsung heroes have returned.

For now, though, the unsung heroes will be living in the morning.

So for today, your crew prepares their exodus and says their necessary goodbyes. For today, you can enjoy a small walk in the forest with your partner and see the scenery one last time. All without the worries that Zoro will get lost like if you were to live him to his own devices.

Wano's healing won't be an immediate change.

No amount of hoping and wishing will do that. But everything has to start somewhere, you fasten your grip on Zoro's arm. He glances at you curiously before you smile in return, giving him arm a brief squeeze. All things are fine here! "Just thinking about how nice it'll be to see Wano after some time passes," you sniff the fragrant aroma of cherry and plum blossoms. "By then, Luffy'll be King of the Pirates, you know. And I'm sure you'll have knocked Mihawk off of his throne."

Zoro's lips spread into a grin, dark eyes glinting with mischief. Of course, you can hear him say. That's the only way we'll come back here! "I wonder who'll be trying to dethrone me by then," you're sure he is imagining his hypothetical opponents with he laughs. It's fittingly Zoro that he the prospect only excites him. You try to picture it; a Zoro 20 years from now staring down a spunky teenager challenging him for his title. What sort of adventure will that person go on to reach levels necessary to fight the King of Hell?

You can only hope it will be as wonderful as the one you're on right now.

"Do you think they'll go sailing across the Grand Line to get strong enough to defeat you?" Maybe they'll come across the sky islands or surf the sands of Alabasta. "Go on a crazy adventure and learn about the world?"

Zoro looks boyishly young, like a child winning his first match in a duel at his dojo. "They'll have to if they ever want to defeat me," he nods firmly, grinning with all of his teeth. "Maybe throw in one person whose fought me before. If they can't handle someone whose ass I've kicked, they definitely can't handle me. And they can't have any scars on their back," he adds in quick succession.

"Maybe they'll fall in love," you giggle knowingly, raising your brows in a playful motion. You hold the gaze of dark eyes with tender affection that is doubly reciprocated.

"That wouldn't be so bad," Zoro's voice is a quiet, warm timber. There's a near melodic quality to it that you can't describe and everything is green. When did green become your favorite color? Stubborn verdure, pulsing with the vitality of life and everything beautiful about it. You're arrogant enough to believe Zoro looks at you like you're the one that embodies those qualities rather than him. "That wouldn't be bad at all."

Your adoration bubbles over the surface and you raise one of Zoro's hands, pressing a kiss against his palm. The walk comes to a sudden pause, Zoro gently wresting his hand from your grip to cup the side of your face. A thumb grazes your bottom lip. "You might as well commit to the full thing," he murmurs, lips brushing against yours before pressing them together firmly.

[sleepyystories]

Hogwarts Legacy

Ominis Gaunt & Sebastian Sallow Modern Day Headcanons

What I imagine the life of the boys is like in modern day, what their interests are, as well as what they would be like in a relationship.

I started playing Hogwarts Legacy and I'm kind of obsessed with Ominis, as someone who has family members who are blind we love representation

I definitely projected on some of his... 😭

I am working on requests but I have been quite busy recently so I'm sorry I haven't gotten to them yet!! Thank you for your requests!! :))

Ominis Gaunt

• Knows a bunch of random fun facts

• Some of those about braille!

• He learnt it quite late since his family never took to teaching him and, although yes he can use magic to read, he also likes the option to use braille to read and write

• Would offer to teach you braille, and often shares fun facts about it or the new things he's learnt

• Your parents love him, even though his family may have their own reputation, they know that the last thing he wants to do is follow in their footsteps

• Collects vinyls.

• He doesn't listen to much music, but there are a few artists that he enjoys and he collects their vinyls.

• He prefers using vinyls to anything digital.

• This goes for books too, he prefers something he can hold to something on a screen. (Although he does listen to audiobooks sometimes as that's the easiest way for him to read if not using magic)

• Definitely that one kid with the pet snake

• Likes to ask everyone what color they think his eyes are and likes to see how they describe it to him (he gets a different answer every time and it's very interesting to him)

• He doesn't have a favorite colour (for obvious reasons) but if he did it would be blue

• Although he's not very good at video games, if you play them, he likes to get involved. Narrate to him what's going on, let him play for a little with your guidance, explain if you're stuck somewhere and he might help you solve the puzzles

• Really good at wordle and crosswords

• Loves old romance, Romeo & Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, Titanic. He's a sucker for a love story

• Loves exactly like the men in these books (actually I've only seen a couple, so only the good ones 😭)

• His nicknames for you: My love, Darling, Honey, Angel

• I feel like his parents would've been the type to make him learn to play an instrument, and piano seems very him

• Although (and huge projection here) (this is why it's his last one) I think his blindness is like my grandmother's where he can see light and shadow but everything is just very blurry (kind of like if you wear glasses and they steam up and you can kinda see but also you very much can't), so he can make out shapes and knows if he's going to bump into something, but he can't really make anything out, hence using magic to aid him, so I'm not sure if he would be able to tell the difference with colour or not (my grandmother struggles even though she has some sight) (To add to this he has very bad peripheral vision)

Sebastian Sallow

• He can sing and was a part of a local choir or the Hogwarts choir for a short period. He acts embarrassed if anyone asks about it, or if anyone catches him singing, but he's actually really good!

• He has a playlist dedicated to you, it's either his own music that reminds him of you, or music you both like

• Genuinely likes Buddy Holly by Wheezer (I'm projecting, we will vibe together.)

• His household keeps chickens. He's that one friend who owns chickens. (Anyone else always had that one friend in a group who owns chickens or is that just a me experience?)

• Does not read. "Hey Seb, have you read this book?' no he has not. Do not ask him when the last time he read a book was, you will not like the answer. (Unless it was a school textbook because somehow his grades are still amazing)

• He kinda just listens to anything, like he doesn't have a specific music taste, if he likes a song/artist then he likes them 🤷 (projecting)

• Has a 3 week Minecraft phase at least once a year, he always makes servers but they always die out for some reason

• Speaking of he was 100% a Minecraft kid and 100% had one of those creeper hoodies that zipped up all the way

• Was really good at math and was known as the math kid in his primary school but that kinda faded out when he started at Hogwarts and now he can solve equations really quickly but he doesn't think it's a big deal

• His favorite colour is green or orange

• He may be a bit boisterous, but he is such a gentleman. Before you were dating he was so respectful (and he still is!) and it's not just to you. Before his mother passed she always taught him how to treat women right, and that never faded

• His nicknames for you: Pretty girl, Princess, Love, Beautiful

• I feel like he would learn to play drums

• Although he has big ambitions he always comes to you for advice (or if you don't like giving advice he just sort of tells you what he's gonna do)

• And if you ever tell him he's about to do something really stupid (as in dangerous) he wouldn't hesitate to take your advice because he trusts you

• He was actually really nervous to meet your parents for the first time, but after a few visits he really warmed up to them and now it's like he was always a part of the family

• Type of boyfriend to let you sit between his legs and let you play his game with his hands over yours on his controller

• Was semi-popular on musical.ly ... I'm sorry, but tell me he does not give that vibe /hj

---

Sorry if this isn't the best, as I said I've been so busy recently and wanted to get something out. These aren't all of the headcanons I have but I hope you enjoy them :) Also, sorry about how much I projected on some of them 😭😭

- Sleepy

[dual-cetacean]

Potential art for the second season of No Place Like Home, first chapter (9).

Btw about the art: I always forgot how bald Nine looks like without the hair spikes. Big ass forehead. XD

"Back on the road in their lonesome, Nine ventures into the big and wide green world of Mobius."

It's officially a year since I started this project. It is the ninth of February (the second month of the year, ->Tails), and this fic is about a character named Nine. So, it is the perfect opportunity to post the first chapter of the second season of NPLH!

First and foremost, thank you to everyone who checked out my fic and read the entirety of season 1. I never expected that this little obsession of mine of writing a better ending for Nine (and, to a lesser extent, the rest of the cast of Sonic Prime) would get so popular. No kidding, this is my most successful fic to date, and the joy I get from working on it is immeasurable. I love all the comments I receive on it, and even if I have not had the chance to reply to them, I read them, and they fill me with so much warmth and fondness.

Thank you so much for sharing your guys' excitement and love with me. Writing Nine's journey is a pleasure; uncovering the plot and putting it on paper (screen) is an incredible adventure. This is one of the few projects I have worked on that I`ve been able to concentrate on for longer than a year, and it wouldn't be possible without all of my readers, who keep reading all the updates and leave me heartfelt comments. Especially a very big thank you to my very good friend @morp, who encouraged this story from its inception. Without it, it wouldn't have been as creative, or, who knows, it would still be sitting in my drafts collecting dust.

I usually do not start posting my multiple-chapter fics unless all of my rough scripts are finished. However, I expected these last few months to be able to write season 2 of NPLH so I could post them in the first half year of 2025. I overestimated myself as the previous semester was very heavy. For a whole semester, every day of the week with multiple exams and assignments kinda heavy. I had little time to write, and when I did, they were done in short spurts. (Everything I posted from September until the beginning of January was works I pre-made but still had to edit)

So, unfortunately, I haven't finished writing season 2 yet. However, it surprised me when I totalled how much I had already written: Chapters 1, 2, 4 and 5 were already done??? I hadn't expected that. So, I have written more than 50% already, and with a strong outline for the rest, I feel confident posting this chapter now. It will be a bit longer before I can regularly post the following chapters and make art for them, and honestly, with school, I really can't put a date on when this fic will continue. But everything is going much more smoothly than I expected when I realised last semester was so brutal.

So, yayヾ(≧ ▽ ≦)ゝ!

Also, good news: I passed all my classes for semester 1! So, there will be no redo exams for the summer for the last four months! So I can go into the second semester tomorrow without too much stress. I'm also doing only half of my classes so it should be more relaxing than the full program. Funnily enough, I am actually looking forward to my first class tomorrow ( •̀ ω •́ ).

So, please enjoy the beta chapter of chapter Nine~!

[arcadekitten]

Can I ask for your advice as one game dev to another?

I started making games 2 years ago, in fact the anniversary for my first project is literally tomorrow! This project holds a lot of sentimental value to me of course, but I never got around to fully finishing the project because I have a habit of jumping from one idea to another when I really like the idea and am motivated for it. (I have severe adhd which has made the amount of projects I have going on currently around 3-5 games lmao) anyways I would say it’s probably 75% complete. I haven’t touched the project in months but I went back to replay it yesterday in hopes of wanting to get back into finishing it, and I felt this incredible wave of nostalgia that felt both good and bad: I’ve improved with my art, story telling and coding and everything since then and when it comes to my game projects It’s very easy for me to move on from them when they’re done to go onto the next- but this nostalgic feeling made me think that maybe it would be better to leave the project and move on because of my newer projects and how different it feels. But at the same time I feel like the game deserves an ending and I feel a lot of pressure knowing that other people are interested in this first project. I think that if I cancel its completion there will be consequences but I might also feel free from it too. I worry about disappointing others especially as a smaller game dev. The project is very important to me as it is my first ever game and I would love to finish it in theory, but it feels a bit weird trying to go back and finish it because of how much I’ve improved. I’m not gonna ask “what would you do in this situation” because I obviously should do what feels right for me (which I’m unsure of lol) but any advice, words of wisdom, experiences etc. would be very appreciated if you’re willing to share!

It's a bit silly, but something I do when I have trouble making a decision is I flip a coin! The important part is not what side the coin lands on, but what side you're hoping the coin lands on. It helps you know how you're really feeling about a certain situation. For example if I tell myself heads means pink shirt and tails means blue shirt, and I start hoping it lands on tails, then I know what I really wanted is the blue shirt.

I also want you to know though that there's no, like, punishment to whatever you decide to do. If you decide that you'd rather just scrap the project and some people wind up disappointed, that's okay. If you decide you won't be happy until it has an ending and decide to give it one, that's also okay! If you still want to keep it in the gray zone of "maybe I'll get back to it one day" or work on it sparingly that's also also okay!

I'm wishing you luck in your decision, and I hope you can feel happy and confident in your choices going forward! All the best to you! ♡

[foundtherightwords]

Fallen Empires - Chapter 16

Pairing: Geta x OFC

Summary: Having done the unthinkable to secure his throne, Emperor Geta rules with ruthlessness and paranoia. Now, after escaping an assassination attempt, a badly injured Geta is saved by Daphne, a young widow, who takes him back to her remote village without knowing his true identity. As Daphne nurses the former emperor back to health, attraction blooms between them, and Geta discovers a soft side he didn't know he possessed. But can their love survive his thirst for revenge and his desire to reclaim power?

Chapter warnings: violence, mentions of physical abuse

Chapter word count: 3.7k

Prologue + Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15

Chapter 16

The larder was running low, and they hadn't had anything to eat but milk and porridge since the day before. That morning, Geta decided he would have to risk going into the village soon if they were to eat. Angrily, he thought about the villagers, so ready to come to Daphne in their hour of need, yet never bothered to look in on her when she needed help. He would have something to say to them, the ingrates!

A bray from Midas made Geta reach for the dagger at his belt. An old woman was coming up the path, a woman he'd never seen before, her back bent under a heavy basket. Yet when she looked at him, her green eyes widening from under their wrinkled lids, he immediately knew who she must be, even before she spoke.

"I'm Daphne's mother, Doumia," the woman said. Geta nodded mutely. The resemblance was unmistakable. She was Daphne, only with twenty more years and a lot less self-assurance. There was a frightened, timid look about her, like that of a hounded rabbit. "You're him, aren't you? The soldier Daphne is having stay with her?"

So much for Attikos's discretion then. But Doumia was quick to assure Geta. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," she said. "Daphne told me about you herself. She asked me to make sure you are safely on your way with the merchant caravan, in case she was delayed." She looked around. "Where is she?"

Geta led her through the messy hut and into the bedroom, where Daphne lay shivering under the pile of blankets. He felt wretched and useless, but Doumia made no comment. She touched Daphne's forehead.

"How long has she been like this?" she asked.

"I—I don't remember. A few days." Then his anger flared. "Where were you? She works herself to death helping all of you, and when she falls ill, none of you cares!"

"Calm yourself, young man," Doumia said, unflappable. After wiping the sweat from her daughter's forehead and tucking in the blankets more tightly, she went into the front room, where she started unloading food from her basket and cleaning up the mess Geta had made from his cooking attempts. "We were all of us ill with fever," she continued. "I knew Daphne had it too and urged her to stay with us, but she insisted on coming back here."

She came back to check on him. To make sure he was safely away. Shame kept Geta's mouth shut.

"I don't know what medicine to give her," he said a moment later, noticing that Doumia was looking through Daphne's shelves.

"Sweet wormwood," Doumia said.

He gave her a blank look. The name meant nothing to him. Doumia went into the garden and quickly came back with a strong-smelling bunch of green stems and delicate leaves, which she pressed into his hand. "Soak this in cold water, then pound it well, wring out the juice, and give it to her, twice a day," she said.

She finished straightening up the kitchen and looked at Geta as he bent over the bowl of sweet wormwood. "You're staying here then," she said. It wasn't a question.

"I am."

"Can you take care of her?"

A trace of motherly concern in her voice made Geta look up. He met her eyes, so like Daphne's, yet there was something in their scrutiny and their judgment that reminded him of his own mother's as well. "I can," he said. "And I shall." It was a promise, both to himself and to Daphne's mother.

Doumia nodded. "Good. My husband and my sons still need me, so I have to return to them." That fearful, furtive look came into her eyes again at the mention of her husband, and she absently wrapped her stole more closely about her body. Geta thought he could glimpse an old bruise on her arm, in the shape of fingers. Of course. An old brute like Timon would start by beating his wife first, before moving on to his children. "I'll come back here as soon as I can," Doumia said, "but meantime, I leave Daphne in your hands."

Her easy trust both surprised and warmed Geta. "You trust me with your daughter's life?" He couldn't help asking. "You hardly know me."

The old woman paused at the door, and something like a smile crinkled the corners of her eyes. "'Tis true that I don't know who you are, or how you came to be here," she said. "But if my Daphne had chosen to put her trust in you, then I guess you've earned that trust."

Somehow, it made him proud to have earned the approval and trust of this old peasant woman, prouder than any military conquest he'd made in all his years as Emperor. He stood up straighter and attended to the wormwood with diligence, to show Doumia that her trust was not misplaced.

***

That night, after the second cup of sweet wormwood juice, Daphne's fever finally broke. Sweat poured from her skin, soaking her tunic and the sheets. Gently, Geta wiped her dry, changed the sheets, and put a new tunic on for her, his hands running over her body with no lust, only tenderness and care. Afterward, she sank into a deep, peaceful sleep, without the febrile tossing and turning or the violent shivering of the previous nights. Almost lightheaded with relief, Geta allowed himself some sleep as well, the first he'd had since Daphne had taken ill.

When he woke, it was full morning. The first thing he saw was Daphne's green gaze fixed on him. This time, she didn't bother to hide the joy in her eyes. True, they were tired, but the glaze of fevered delirium was gone from them, leaving them as clear as fresh spring water. Looking into those eyes, Geta understood at last that he'd been mistaken in likening Daphne to goddesses. She was no goddess, for all her beauty and her wisdom and strength of spirit. She was a woman, only a woman, simple and incomprehensible, strong and vulnerable, perfect and flawed, a mirror in which he saw himself reflected as not an Emperor, not a general or a conqueror, but only a man. And for that, he would love and worship her for the rest of his life.

"You're still here," she said.

"I'm still here."

"I thought I told you to go." Her voice was stern, but her eyes sparkled as they set on him, and her hand hovered over the edge of the bed, reaching for him.

"And I told you I'd never leave."

He smiled at her as he said it, but she didn't smile back. The light in her eyes dimmed a little, and a splinter of doubt crept into Geta's heart. Did she remember her delirious vision? He didn't mind that she may not love him back, but he didn't know what he would do if she didn't want him around, if she saw their liaison as a betrayal of the memories of her dead husband.

"Well, I'm better now," Daphne said. "So if you hurry, you can still catch the caravan."

"I'm staying with you!" he snapped.

Daphne looked like she wanted to argue but was too tired to do so. She closed her eyes and went back to sleep. He pressed her fingers gently and told himself to give her time. He could convince her later.

Doumia came back that day with more food. Daphne was well enough to sit up in bed and talk to her mother, who brought news that most of the villagers were recovering. Some had decided to plant more sweet wormwood in their gardens, so they would be prepared when the fever returned. Doumia gave Geta a smile and a nod as she left, and even patted his cheek without thinking, as if he was one of her sons. It pleased him and gave him hope again. Surely, Daphne could see how her mother approved of him, and that would convince her to let him stay.

The next day, Daphne was able to go into the front room and sit and watch while Geta tried to cobble together a meal for them.

"I didn't know you could cook," she said with a wry but affectionate curl of her lips.

"Nor can I." He grinned over his shoulder at her. "Don't you remember the broth I fed you the past few days? It tasted of salt and nothing else."

She shook her head. "I was probably too ill to remember much of the past few days."

"Thank Jupiter for that."

"You'll be glad to be back to your family mansion then," she said, "where you have servants to cook for you."

Something inside Geta boiled over. After everything he'd done, how could she still doubt him? He hurled the bowl he was using across the room. Luckily, it was made of wood and didn't shatter, but it still hit the far wall with a horrible crash. Daphne flinched. 

"Stop it!" he shouted, whirling around to face her. "Stop saying things like that! I told you, I'm not going anywhere!"

The look on Daphne's face, half of fear and half of disgust, made Geta realize what he'd done. How could he have been so thoughtless, when he'd vowed to love and protect her? He hurriedly picked up the bowl and knelt in front of her, pressing her hands to his lips. "Forgive me, carissima," he said. "I didn't mean to shout. Please don't make me go. I love—"

He didn't get to finish. A raucous bray came from outside, followed by the sound of a slap. "Shut up, you stupid ass!" a voice growled.

Daphne's face, already pale after her fever, became marble-white.

"My father," she whispered. "Quick. Into the bedroom."

Geta hated to leave her alone with the churl, not when she was still so weak, but he had no choice. He quickly vacated the kitchen and Daphne took up his spot by the fire.

"Father," he heard her say. "Why are you here? Is everything all right with Ma and the boys?"

"Fine greetings for your father there, girl," Timon snarled. "Wasn't I ill like the rest of them too?"

"I'm sorry, Father," Daphne replied meekly. "Mother told me your fever broke a few days ago. Shouldn't you be resting?"

"Aye, I could be resting, if those cursed creditors weren't snapping at my heels again."

"You know I have no money—"

"But this is all your fault!"

Daphne's voice took on an exasperated note. "How? I didn't tell you to gamble."

"No, but you could have saved Izkur from the fever and agreed to marry him! Or better yet, you could have married him long before this and become his widow!"

"I'm sorry Izkur is dead," Daphne said. "I've tried my best to save everyone, but some were just too ill."

"Your best is not good enough!" There was a scuffling sound and a clatter of bowls and spoons, as if Timon was taking a step toward Daphne, forcing her back against the table. In the bedroom, Geta gripped his dagger tightly, cursing Daphne's father and cursing himself for being unable to defend her. "If you can't marry Izkur now," continued Timon, "you can help me pay off the debt in another way..."

"What do you mean?" Daphne said warily.

"My debtors are leaving with the merchant caravan soon," said Timon. "They'd pay good money for some female company along the way."

There was a moment of shocked silence, then Daphne hissed, "You're going to whore out your own daughter—" Her words were cut short by the dull thud of flesh hitting flesh.

"Don't play the respectable matron with me, girl," Timon said. "I know what you get up to during those herb-gathering trips of yours. You're already a whore."

The hilt of the dagger dug into Geta's palm, hurting him, but he didn't dare look through the crack in the door. He was afraid that if he saw what was happening to Daphne, he would not be able to stay hidden in this room. And to think, he'd shouted and thrown things at her, when she'd had to endure such violence from her father her whole life. Geta's stomach burned and squirmed in shame, remembering the blows he and Caracalla had suffered under their father's hands. Stand up, soldiers! Hit him! Harder! And no crying! Tears are for weaklings!

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Daphne said to Timon, her voice cold and firm. "I'll find some money for you somehow, but you have to leave."

There was another smack, followed by a crash and a muffled whimper from Daphne. The scuffling started up again, louder, like Timon was dragging her across the floor, and Daphne's whimpers became cries of pain.

Those cries told Geta all he needed to know. He'd heard enough. He burst through the door and took in the scene before him with one glance—Daphne on the floor, blood dripping down her cheek from a wound on her temple, unable to fight her father off as he dragged her to the door by her hair. With a roar, Geta charged at Timon, throwing him off Daphne and against the wall.

"Vermin!" Geta screamed, putting his dagger to Timon's throat. "Don't you dare touch her!"

"Who in Hades's name are you?" Timon spluttered.

"Never mind who I am," Geta growled. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Daphne stagger to her feet, looking dazed.

"I'm her father! No thug is going to tell me—" Geta pressed the blade a little harder down on Timon's scrawny neck, cutting him off.

"If you hurt Daphne again, you'll hear from me," Geta said. Timon went pale, save for his drunkard's purple nose, and Geta almost laughed at how pathetic he looked. These brutes were all the same, so ready to use their fists on their wives and children, but a touch of cold steel and they'd turn into a puddle.

When he was sure Timon was properly subdued, Geta pushed away. He went into the bedroom, found his coin pouch, and threw it to the floor. "There!" he said contemptuously. "That ought to be enough to pay your debt. Take it, you worthless drunk, and stay away from Daphne."

Timon's eyes went wide as he heard the clink of coins inside the pouch. He fumbled over the floor, snatching up the pouch with shaky hands. Belatedly, Geta realized what may happen if Timon tipped a coin out and looked at it. To his relief, Timon was too busy clutching the pouch, as though he was afraid Geta would take it back if he didn't hold it tightly enough. And besides, even if he had looked, he couldn't have connected the clean-shaven Geta with the bearded emperor stamped on the denarius.

Once the pouch was secured at his belt, Timon scrambled to his feet, looking at Geta with fear and hatred. Then he turned to Daphne. "So you're shacking up with this—"

"You haven't heard me properly, have you?" Geta said, advancing toward him, brandishing the dagger. Timon took a step back. "Get out of my sight. And if I ever catch you lurking around here or making trouble for her again, I'll slit your throat."

Without another word, Timon turned and ran down the path. The moment the slapping sound of his sandals faded away, Geta rushed over to Daphne. She was trying to clean the blood off her face with a damp cloth. Her hair had come loose, tumbling down her shoulders. He gently brushed it behind her ear to get a better look at her wound.

"Are you all right?" he asked. "Here, let me." He took the cloth from her and wiped away the blood. Daphne winced as the towel touched her wound, but at least that glazed look had gone from her eyes.

"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth. "I've had worse from him." She shook her head slightly at Geta. "You shouldn't have done that. Revealing yourself like that... Now he knows you have money, he's not going to leave it alone."

"I'll keep him away. I'll protect you."

She turned away. "You can't do that forever."

"Yes, I can. My father—" Daphne turned to him, drawn by the mention of his family. The words were stuck in his throat, but he swallowed and continued. "My father used to beat me and my brother. I tried to shield my brother from it, but I failed."

"Where is your brother now?" Daphne asked, softly.

 "Dead. Like the rest of them." Not for the first time, Geta wondered if he had managed to protect Caracalla in their childhood, would Caracalla have turned out the way he did? Would he have tried to kill Geta still?

"What about your mother's family in Hemesos?"

"I hardly know them."

"So why are you going to them?"

"I'm not," he said. And, taking her hands, he repeated, each word solidified the intention that had formed in his mind ever since Daphne's illness, "I told you. I'm not going to Hemesos. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying. Here. With you."

She gazed at him, her eyes slowly brightening. "You really mean it?"

"Every word."

"But what about your wealth? Your position? You can't give that up."

"I can, and I will. It's not my wealth anyway."

She continued to look at him, with that same scrutinizing gaze she'd always fixed on him, for such a long time that Geta began to lose heart.

"But if you don't want me here," he said, "then I'll go."

Daphne tilted her head. Was he imagining it, or was there the hint of a smile at the corner of her lips? "Why do you say that?"

"Well, you've been chasing me away ever since you woke up," he said sullenly. "And—you called out your husband's name, when you were sick with the fever."

Daphne let out a small breath, as though she finally understood what had been eating at him.

"I'm never going to forget Galen," she said. Her voice was soft, but her words cut Geta's heart like the sharpest of blades. He dropped her hands, his own arms hanging limp at his sides, defeated. So she would rather live with the memory of a dead man than with him. He tried to tell himself that he didn't mind, but to no avail. Some of his despair must be showing on his face, for Daphne took his hand and pressed it to her cheek. "But that doesn't mean that I don't love you," she said.

She said it so quietly that Geta thought he'd misheard her.

"You love me?" he asked.

"I do."

No one in his life had ever said those words to him, not even his mother. To him, love was something unknown and therefore unknowable. "But how? How can you love someone so much you still love him after he is dead? How can you love two people at the same time?"

She watched him with those inscrutable eyes. "I don't know," she said. "I just can. Haven't you ever loved anyone?"

He thought about it. "Yes," he said. "You."

Now she was definitely smiling, a true smile, not just a hint of it. It spread from her lips to her eyes, until she looked like she was lit from within by some magical glow. "Only I can't imagine loving anyone else," he continued.

"Even when I'm dead?"

"Don't say that!" He grabbed her hands, seized by a sudden sense of superstition. "The lemures may hear you! Do you have any black beans to throw over your shoulder?"

Daphne's affectionate smile turned amused, almost teasing, but she sobered up when she realized he was not in jest. "Don't worry," she said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"I promise." She drew him close, caressing his cheek. "I used to think I could never love anyone else after Galen. But people change and grow. You can't keep living in the past."

He knew she was speaking of her husband, but to him, her words seemed to lift the very weight that had been dragging him down and chase away the ghost that had been haunting him all these years. He, too, could change and grow. He, too, could escape his past.

"And you love me now?" he asked again, still not quite believing it. "Truly?"

"I love you."

With those simple, magical words, Geta felt warm all over, as though the glow of her love had transferred to him, safe and comforting. He sealed his mouth over hers, putting into the kiss all his joy and gratitude, feelings that were still so new to him, yet he knew they would last, as long as he was with her.

"Now do you believe me, you fool?" Daphne asked, when they broke apart.

Her hair had fallen over her face again. Taking a few of the raven locks in his hand, he brought them to his face, stroking them over his cheek, his mouth, kissing them almost reverently.

"Say it again," he said.

She leaned close and whispered against his lips, "I love you, Romulus Publius."

Geta gave an involuntary start at hearing his alias. No matter how many times Daphne had called him so, he could never quite get used to it. But he must. If he wished to be with her, he must.

He cupped her cheeks in both of his hands, cradling her face like the treasure that it was, looking into her eyes brimming with happy tears, eyes that had brought him back from Hades itself. "And I love you, Nysa Daphne," he said, before pulling her into his arms again and burying his face in her neck, breathing in her familiar fragrance, letting her presence flood his senses, his entire being.

Geta was dead. From now on, to Daphne and to the world, he would be Romulus.

A/N: Swamp fever is another name for malaria. I have no idea if sweet wormwood (Artemisia annua) grows in this setting (southeastern Turkey) or not, but I know the Chinese have been using the plant to treat fever since ancient times, and its extracts have antimalarial properties (in 2015, Chinese scientist To Youyou won the Nobel Prize for her discovery of this), so I hope I didn't stretch the truth too much to have Daphne treat her patients/be treated with sweet wormwood here.

Taglist: @sheneedsrocknroll92, @justnobodynothingmore, @barcelonaloverf1life, @myotakureprieve, @flawssy-227, @itsrainingbisexualfrogs, @deliciousfestsalad (if you want to be tagged or removed, let me know!)

[damnfeelings09]

VALENTINE'S DAY COUNTDOWN

Guilty as Sin - Leon S. Kennedy

Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x female reader Tags: fluff, comfort, angst, smut, cheating, guilt, forbidden love, first person narrative. Word count: don't know, don't care Prompt: After 7 years of relationship with your partner things start to go down and you feel alone until your new co-worker walks in, restoring your faith in love, making you feel in high school again, but don't forget, you are still in a relationship. Notes: Am I projecting myself in this? Yes, yes I am. Life sucks and “love” has long since ceased to be the answer to why I’m still with my partner. So I wrote this to comfort myself (I don't condone cheating) and, although I've never touched his skin, when I think of one of my fictional loves it feels like cheating is what I do. This promt is written in first person because I feel it connects better with the character that way. Also listen to the song Guilty as sin while you read this and for fucks sake someone bring Leon S. Kennedy to life so he can writte mine in my upper thigh.

How does the dream of your life turn into monotony? At what point does it go from being the thing you loved the most to just another routine? How long does it take for love to die? Does love has an expiration date? Unfortunately, I couldn't answer any of those questions. 7 years of a moderately stable relationship, but the memories and habits we had forged together were no longer enough, not when we slept apart at night, barely spoke to each other during the day and our time together was a maximum of 6hrs each month. It was over once, 3 months apart, my shoulders had never felt so... light? As if the weight I was carrying was melting away. 3 months in which I hadn't cried (for having carried the grief within the relationship). No one understood why we had returned. When my friends asked why, I couldn’t give em an answer, I guess part of me thought I could cure him? Save him? change him? When the reality was that he was taking me overboard with him. It hadn't all been bad, in the beginning life seemed like a sweet melody of love, our steps following the same rhythm, the same path. As time went by, the melody became sad, stormy, my steps were no longer coordinated and it seemed that he was tired of dancing with me.

I didn't mean for things to end this way, but Leon was so kind, so sweet, so handsome, looking at me like I was the best thing at the party, it had been so long since anyone had looked at me like that, as if he really saw me. His woodsy scent impregnated in the jacket draped over my shoulders as we walked back to his car, his hand holding my waist and the other on my heart. I didn't intend to go that far, but his lips were so soft, his kisses full of love and desire for me, I couldn't remember the last time I had been kissed that way. I told myself it would be the only time, but I had never been good at lying. Emotional deception is the worst kind of cheating but I couldn't stop, his laughter, his smile, every word that came out of his mouth, it was as if velvet was pouring out of his voice, wrapping me in a soft blanket that covered my aching heart, healing it. I was so lonely and he was so so willing to listen to me. And I noticed it, I noticed it every day when I was excited to receive his message wishing me good morning, I noticed it in the butterflies in my stomach when I found flowers from him on my desk, I noticed it when my heart was beating like crazy having him near, when he would take my cheek and hold his touch for a few seconds too long just to be “friendly”. It had become a necessity for me, looking for him in every hallway, making time just to find him when I went up the elevator, working overtime to get out at the same time. My heart fisically ached being away from him.

Every night the cold of my bed brought my imagination back to him, his hands, his touch, his kisses as he praised my body, cherising every part of it as if I were his only source of light. His mouth inside my folds, sucking the life out of me like a starving man, his moans and mine creating a melody so hot I could cum just remembering it. My hand circled around my swollen clit, while with the other I held tightly to the sheets of my bed. I remembered his strokes working their way inside me, filling me until I was so cockdrunk for him, each onslaught sending more waves of pleasure, building up in my lower belly as my tits bounced up and down.

“Fuck, baby, you're so tight,” he picked up the pace making me moan his name so loudly that everyone in his building would gasp at the pleasure he was giving me. “Shit... I'm going to cum, where...?”

“Inside... fill me up please” my orgasm taking over me, my walls closing around him trapping him inside me as his seed filled me completely. I could feel him slipping between my legs mixing with my own juices. After the pleasure he kept me close to him, holding me in his arms caressing my hair murmuring sweet nothings in my ears.

“I'm so screwed” I heard him say. I tried to hold still, controlling my breathing so he wouldn't notice I was still awake. I felt his hand caress my upper thigh in the same place where I had left a hickey as if reclaiming me as his. A purplish red mark with a clear message, mine “I won't be able to stay away from you now”.

That night not only I slept with him, but I gave him my heart, being there in his strong arms, lulled to sleep by his heartbeat, so close to him, as if he was afraid I was going to disappear.

I had run away from him before the sun rose. My heart yearning for his love once again, my boby missing his touch. But it was wrong. What I was doing was wrong but I couldn't stop, I didn't want to stop. When I closed my eyes I found his face, when I was in the stores I saw his silhouette everywhere, in every couple I saw I saw us, at least what could be. I had a drawer with my partner's clothes at home, but I pretended I was alone because if he didn't know then I wouldn't hurt him. It was partly my fault that everything went to shit, but after years of giving my best and only getting crumbs my heart had grown tired.

______________________________________

2 days after giving my everything to him, Leon called me in for a meeting.

“Mr. Kennedy... Leon” his name escaping my lips as if it were a promise between the two of us. Every time he called me into his office to discuss something I found myself getting excited like a teenager with her first crush.

“You know I don't like you calling me Mr. Kennedy” his smile was big, showing me his shiny white teeth "We are...friends” but the glint in his eyes gave away his true intentions. Before him my days were gray and now, every time I saw him the sky turned the perfect blue of his eyes, invading me, sweeping away all thoughts of sadness leaving just him. I was a drifting ship and he was the sweet land calling me. “Penny for your thoughts?” He said, noticing I was distracted.

“I'm just... exhausted.”

“About?”

“Life I guess”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He’s concern seemed genuine. Oh handsome, don't make me love you anymore.

“You don't want to hear me rant about my life, believe me” I said shaking my head.

“I do if it helps you” his look, so worried and his frown was too adorable for his own good.

“My relationship is going downhill and I can't take it anymore, I don't even remember why I wanted to be with him. I tried my best to make him happy and supported him in everything, but I lost myself in the process and I can't seem to find myself.” I turn to look at him, his bright blue eyes dismayed “But it scares me so much because he's all I've ever known, he was my first everything, what if I'm not enough for someone else? What if no one else loves me?”

He wipes a silent tear from my left cheek and caress my cheek “Anyone would be happy to have you. And if that bastard can't see how lucky he is then fuck him. Love should make you feel happy and anxious in a nice way, you're supposed to want to be with that person 24/7 even if it gets on your nerves. Your love should be celebrated not tolerated. If it were me, I would do anything to keep you by my side.”

“Leon...”

“It's true and I know it's the worst timing but I...I can't stand to see you like this because of that jerk when I'm here. I know you think it was a mistake but gods to me it was everything, you are everything. I want to make things right with you, I want you and I'm dying to have you in my arms again” I hadn't noticed how close he was to me, trapping me between his bookshelf and his body. His lips dangerously close, the butterflies, the nerves taking over me, every fiber of my body claiming his warmth, needing his touch, the small conscious part of my brain tried to hold back but as Leon closed the space between us bringing our lips together, emotions overflowed me, throwing my arms around his neck, I let go. Allowing him to deepen the kiss as he pulled me closer to his body, his tongue asking permission to explore my mouth, the minty taste lingering on his tongue as he kissed me. It wasn't like any kiss I'd ever had, not because I had a lot of experience, I'd actually only kissed two people (him and my partner) but kissing my almost ex definitely didn't feel like this. Leon kissed with passion, the need for me written on every part of his mouth, his lips soft and warm in comparison to his rough kisses as if a primal instinct took over him. He held me tight, arching my back molding every soft curve of my body to his perfectly formed one, as if we were made to be one.

There is a Greek myth. Humans used to have 2 faces, 4 arms and 4 legs, they were a whole. 2 entities in one, but the gods decided they were too dangerous that way, so they separated them, making them weak, broken, and left them to wander the earth in search of their other half. I never wondered if the person next to me was my other half, but here and now, I was sure that Leon was my other half.

[andypantsx3]

HIIIII andy!!! just a genuine question.. if you were to be pressured to update your fanfiction, or getting harassed just because the readers expected u to update it... would u delete ur entire account dedicated to that fic and delete the fic itself too? 😭☹️ (I hope this isn't weird, i just wanted to ask an author bcs this happened to my fav fic today)

I am so sorry you lost your fave fic, omg that is so genuinely devastating!! That is like losing a friend for real :'(

This is a tough one. Obviously there is no right or wrong answer, or any way to know what you would do in the same situation until you're in it. I really think it's up to the author to determine their level of comfort and act accordingly to keep themselves mentally well and safe, and to consistently reassess that as things change!

Personally, I know all too well what it is like to get harassed online and have contemplated nuking my account at times too. I have had friends who have had to abandon blogs for similar reasons as well. But for me, the positives and the friendships and fun little connections I have made on here have always far, far outweighed the negatives.

Plus I also have insane deadlines at my IRL job so it makes me laugh when someone gets shirty with me to update my fics like, buddy you lead this work project then and I will go write you your little chapter lol. So at least, people asking me for updates (even rudely) has never really bothered me too much.

I guess all of this to say, never say never, but I can't envision doing that personally! But I def recommend you download all your fave fics if they're on AO3 and store them somewhere if you can. Because you never know what is gonna change!!

I hope your fave author finds their way back someday and you get to read that fic again!! Sending you (and your author!) all of my good vibes rn.

[astra-galaxie]

Back in business!

Hello everyone, I’m back!😁

Thank you so much for the well wishes and for respecting my request not to talk about CC while I was on break. A special thank you to those who reached out to see how I was doing; I greatly appreciated it. And as relaxing as my break was, I have missed CC and am excited to be back!🥰

I will return to my accounts and the servers I left, but I will take a little more time off before starting the next chapter of my story—maybe another week. During my break, I worked on some smaller projects and would like to wrap them up before continuing my series. 

However, I do have a couple of announcements to make. First, I have decided to discontinue my general Criminal Case one-shot book. I’ve realized that book was one of my biggest stresses, and I keep putting it on hiatus, which is unfair to you guys. So, for now, I will no longer be accepting requests for one-shots. That doesn't mean I won’t occasionally write CC one-shots unrated to my series when inspiration strikes, but I cannot continue that book anymore. I may bring it back one day, but for the foreseeable future, it's done.

I will keep my one-shot book for extra stories based on my series (somewhat) active and will try to fulfill the remaining requests/suggestions on my list since they involve my series or could be an AU of my series. People can still suggest ideas for one-shots for that book, but I cannot write everything. Please remember I am writing them in my free time, and while I love this hobby, if I don’t like an idea, it is a struggle to write it, and I will no longer force myself to write a story until I am ready.

Secondly, I will be adding a new rule to my series’ one-shot book rule list. I will no longer write stories centred around other people’s OCs, even if they appear in my series. I may CONSIDER a story suggestion that involves other people’s OCs, but only if they are not the main focus/character. I have nothing against other peoples’ OCs, and I love seeing the different original characters people create for CC; it is simply that I am not comfortable writing stories about them. I fear I will misrepresent the OC and make them OOC. And since I know firsthand how much time and love goes into creating an OC, I would hate not to do the OC(s) justice with my writing.

That’s not to say I don’t want other people’s OCs to appear in my series. In fact, I would love to have more of them cameo in my series! It ties into an idea I’m considering for my City of Romance story, but that’s a long way from being written, so I’m not worrying about it yet. Of course, I can’t promise that every suggested OC can appear, but if you have an OC you would like to offer as a new character in S4 or a future season, you can leave a comment or send me a DM (on Tumblr, Discord, or Instagram). I will never use someone else’s OC without their permission, so I promise never to use your OC(s) without your consent.

I’ve been considering these changes for months, and my break gave me the push to implement them finally. I apologize for ending that one-shot book this way, but for my mental health, I need to discontinue it. I hate being selfish, but I need to do this and put my foot down on requests involving other people’s OCs for my sanity. I am happy to help people with their OCs’ lore any way I can, but I will not write it for you as they are your OC(s), not mine.

Thank you for your understanding. And now that I’m back, I look forward to continuing my series and creating more new content for CC!

Astra G.✨

[blob-with-a-pencil]

What's the origin of your blog name?: ive always imagined myself as a blob whenever i feel strong emotions and i like drawing so i kinda put those two together and.. here we are :)

OTP(s)+Ship Name: i love gay ships a lot, especially mlm, so i guess solangelo, superbat, drarry (i stumble upon it sometimes so its kinda a guilty pleasure..), and lowkey that one captain and doctor in a story book im reading who have such immense chemistry. i cant.

Favourite colour: blood red, persian red, blue, purple, black, and gold✨ i also like pink too! tho not really a favourite

Favourite game: GHARTIC PHONE OMG I COULD PLAY THAT SHIT FOR HOURS- and probably among us, minecraft(i haven't played in a looong time) and roblox!

Song stuck in your head: never enough from the greatest showman and tv by mico

Weirdest trait/habit: i bite shit and i eat random things

Hobbies: doodling, writing (most of it is stored in my brain file room), crying, eating, singing, reading:)

If you work, what's your profession?: sir, this is a school, and i am a student. /sillh

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: maybe an actor, or psychologist. maybe even detective, i dunno.

Something you're good at: i mean, im pretty good at drawing

Something you're bad at: probably time management, focusing on something, PE, keeping my emotions in check, ordering at coffee shops (i swear, i always stutter), and doing anything right

Something you love: talking to my friends:)) and imagining scenarios that will never happen.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: probably crime cases, if you give me a specific one. and how to apologize properly for something without saying ‘Oh, im sorry you feel that way’. and things about psychology (kind of)

Something you hate: when people think its okay to act like dicks for absolutely no reason at all

Something you collect: i don't really collect stuff? but I've got journals and books

Something you forget: a lot

What's your love language?: I CRAVE THY TOUCH DEAR COMPANION. words of affirmation and quality time too

Favourite movie/show: Percy Jackson, Adams Project, BLOOD OF ZEUSSS

Favourite food: T U N A 🐟

Favourite animal: oh my freaking gosh i lub snakes, birds, cats and any sea creature

What were you like as a child?: probably the brightest star, creative, loud, and always wanted to play. a bit dumb tho.

Favourite subject at school: science, maths (no im not kidding, i love math), arts, and home economics

Least favourite subject: FUCKING PHYSICAL EDUCATION and history.

What's your best character trait?: im supportive? and im smart (kinda ig)

What's your worst character trait?: i snap easily (irl) and i care too much

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?: uhhmmm i would like to have less problems in the family

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?: my grandfather on my moms side, i would like to punch him in the jaw. for the shit. he did.

Tag as many mutuals as you want! (no pressure):

@itsmylovedaydreamdreamdream @peapea-0405 @cceanvvaves @childofthewargod @darkly-stagnating-fish-tank @daonedaonlysk

Get to know your mutuals!

What's the origin of your blog title? When I was in middle school, someone told me "you dress so goth, but your personality is so happy. You're like a really cheerful grim reaper. A joyful soul collector." And that's been my username for most everything ever since!

OTP(s) + Shipname: Oooh, right now it's Jayvik, and tbh I can't think of another one, this is one of the first ships I've been really really into tbh. Other dynamics focused on my blog have actually been more platonic, like Irondad

Favorite color: Red!

Favorite game: Dungeons and Dragons! Both as a player, and DM!

Song stuck in your head: The Challenge - EPIC

Weirdest habit/trait? I download thousands of still frames of tv shows that I love so I can make memes out of them. But I have to sift through and delete all the pictures that are blurry or unnecessary, which takes hours. I think it's super fun because I'm autistic and really enjoy sorting stuff lol

Hobbies: Writing, playing DnD, making memes, and hanging out with my friends!

If you work, what's your profession? Not so much a profession lol, I work at a toy store. It's a part time job while I'm in college, studying to be a radiologist!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically? Radiologist. But ANY job I wish? Professional DM or Professional DnD player, like the people on Dropout or Critical Role haha

Something you're good at: I'm good at writing stories! I can write them well and write things that make people feel deep emotions, and I like that.

Something you're bad at: Recognizing when someone doesn't want help haha. I tend to try and fix things or help people when they just want to vent, and it ends up frustrating for both of us.

Something you love: I love stories. Any kind, I love so so many

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: My favorite shows and stories, my dnd campaigns and characters, my stories and ideas

Something you hate: Fascism. Bigotry. Willful ignorance. Fearmongering. Propaganda.

Something you collect: Dice!! I'm a dice goblin for sure haha

Something you forget: I often forget chores unfortunately

What's your love language? Physical touch and acts of service

Favorite movie/show: Ooh right now it's definitely Arcane haha

Favorite food: Sushi!

Favorite animal: Cats!

What were you like as a child? In a word? Unwell haha. I'm a good bit better now, still struggling with a lot, but better than I used to do

Favorite subject at school? English, I was always good at that class

Least favorite subject: Chemistry. I hate that shit so much lol

What's your best character trait? I think that I'm kind and willing to stand up for others

What's your worst character trait? I can be disrespectful to some types of spirituality unfortunately. It just doesn't make logical sense to me. I have two friends that are fully convinced that a cursed doll gave some youtuber testicular cancer. And I just can't see the logic or critical thought in that

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Mmm. All of fascism shit is definitely damaging my calm so I'd love to change that specifically

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Harry Allen. Google him he's a badass transgender cowboy

Tag as as many mutuals as you want!!

@sb-essebi @glitternightingale @blatterpussbunnyfromhell @captainhollowstories @kydrogendragon @misforvendetta @poetryinmotion-author @bocularteletheric @kai-ovillager @thatoneneuvichiliauthor @4amarcanethoughts @alexspearsxoxo @kotonni @buckybucananbarnes @kakesuwolf @martybaker @patheticjayce @sleepycrowhours @aixabi @up-the-bracket @snoopyviktor @emdashflower @humanshapedstress @hellsalore @juuzousmom @softandslow @fangirlshenanigans04 @batmans-attic @lvrstrsh @bluemoyai @tearexxwrites @bodyofvvater @lifeandeathepub @areesespiece @lancesblueazaleas @monaisme @milkywaysipper @carmendyy @tseecka @heazueken @tophat-69 @velocitychroma @prjctdiva @gremlinofchaos @ourvectorviktor @kenjinx @jxmimac @gh0stedvhampir @voxconcordia @arcaneheraldslawyer

ngl I tried to tag ALL my mutuals that I have, but this was how many it allowed me to do before it made me stop lol so here's as many as I could fit!