#i am never beating the fucked up from my childhood allegations. whatever.

[sodrippy]

yeah nvm its so over 👍

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Hajime Isayama Vol.28-29: The Commentary Wherein I Completely Lost It

(a warning: from hereon i start calling eren “devil child.” it’s a coping mechanism.)

-EWW ZEKE'S SPINAL FLUID IN THE WINE BOTTLES? (also i don't trust zeke, what is eren doing, oh my god)

-i need to know. i just need to know. has eren gone off the rails.

-does eren know this, that they're making beast-linked titans, does eren know this. what does eren know

-EREN? THE DEVIL CHILD? IN OUR RESTAURANT?! AAAAHHHH... uhhh... eren why are you titan-threatening us, goddamn man (i find it calming to call him devil child. his actions hurt me less that way)

-aw bless them, they're trying so hard to save falco, bathing him and all

-devil child, do you actually want to tell us something or are you just going to stare-scare mikasa and armin. also gabi please don't do anything stupid, girl, please not now

-this chat is not going to go well. this chat will only hurt us. JESUS CHRIST EREN "KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE TABLE"?! WTH DO YOU THINK MIKASA OF ALL PEOPLE WILL DO TO YOU FFS ARGH i am enraged

-i don't know if devil child is right, but it HAS come to my attention that genius strategist armin has not done that much post-time skip

-so... mikasa senses the founder titan, that's why she's gung-ho on protecting eren? wait but. eren got the titan much later. how could mikasa have obeyed him when he had just met her? that doesn’t make sense, WHY IS NO ONE POINTING OUT THAT THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

-DEVIL CHILD WHAT ARE YOU SAYING EREN HOW DARE YOU IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT! WHATEVER THEY ARE IS NOT THEIR FAULT HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU YOU STUPID LITTLE- SHUT UP!

-what? what? you've always hated her? HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU! you didn't! you couldn't have! I WAS THERE WITH YOU IN PART 1, YOU CARED, YOU DIDN'T hate her! what are you saying

-believe you me eren, armin's punch has nothing to do with bertolt, it's courtesy of the readers.

-WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BEAT UP ARMIN

-is eren for real, i don't understand. knowing these alleged truths is one thing. being cruel is another. why. how. why. also devil child, why are YOU free but armin is half-bertolt in this scenario? you have THREE titans

-you didn't say anything like that, devil child. you never asked them where zeke is, what are you talking about, you just started hurting them

-you know what i hate? i hate the fact that this intrusive thought keeps coming to me, "would it have come to this if erwin was alive?"

-yes, levi, exactly, like one big awful joke. you remain my one shining light. exactly, "waiting for us after all that death was this farce?"

-WHY AM I LAUGHING THROUGH MY RAGE WHY DOES THIS WHOLE TRAIN-WRECK MAKE THINGS MORE INTRIGUING! I HATE EVERYTHING!

-”your deaths meant something. at last, i'll be able to prove it" WHEN DID LEVI BECOME THE HEART OF THE STORY

-oh goody. levi vs 30 titans. wow. it's just... torture after torture after torture, isn't this, this pesky time-skip *nervous chuckle*

-i'm so sad. levi doesn't deserve this. no one does. his face. goddammit

-TINY LEVI IN THE BACK COMING FOR ZEKE OH MY GOD GET HIM TINY LEVI

-for all of eren's "fight!" you know who's the one who actually does it? levi our lord and savior

-ripping apart the titan to throw at levi. classy mr beast classy. geh -.-

-hange doesn't deserve this

-i don't doubt zeke's horrible childhood, but FUCK ZEKE

-ah! AH! AH! AH! ZEKE MADE HIMSELF EXPLODE! I DID NOT EXPECT THIS!

-it's hard to read school castes now that eren is the devil child

-i'm sure, i'm SURE levi wouldn't die in an explosion, that would be anticlimactic, BUT... maybe that's a good great perfect opportunity for some backstory? 

-can i just say. my respect for hange rises with every panel they're in

-"our euthanization plan' jesus christ. AND THAT'S YOU, EREN?! after everything, you're like 'ah yes, euthanization sounds good' ?! FIGHT!

-THAT IS NOT YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE EREN, IT IS NOT YOUR CHOICE TO EUTHANIZE ARGH ARGH

-levi. my heart hurts. i... don't suppose ackermans regenerate fingers...

-hange for president. seriously, like... seriously. HANGE WHAT A HUMAN

-i know we hate gabi a little bit or a lot, but please don't hurt her, eren. please. how did it come to this. to me begging eren of all people not to hurt a prisoner child

-okay. OKAY! but when did eren turn CRUEL. like even zeke isn't CRUEL when addressing most people. eren's negative arc is almost TOO blatant to be real

-yes jean my only hope, could eren have some secret motive for hurting mikasa and armin? i agree with your line of thinking but i'm too scared to hope. i half think these kind of arguments -secret motive, mind control, brain-washing- are there to represent the readers' thoughts, just to then say actually no, he's the villain now

-how did yelena not understand that armin isn’t serious with the ‘noble intentions’ comment

-errr, the panel with eren over jaws' jaws is really cool though

-pieck: "did you really think i'd sell out my friends?" meanwhile devil child be dancing over his comrades' broken souls

-HOW YOU LIKE THAT, YELENA?! HOW YOU LIKE EREN NOT LISTENING TO YOU EITHER HUH?! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO FEEL LIKE US, YELENA?! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO ASK "EREN, WHY?" ?! HA?!

-incredible that the 104th, levi and hange are actually in the safest places to be right now, ie Not There.

-war hammer titan is pissing me off. no matter whose side its on, it has unfair advantage

-i mean, reiner, honestly, same. "i just want this to be over."

-i haven't seen eren's face as soft as when he sees beast zeke in ages, i wanna punch something

-uhh... defend eren...? the 104th? what's it gonna be, boys and mikasa?

-STOP THE PRESSES, ARMIN IS USING HIS BRAIN! EVERYONE STOP AND LISTEN! HISTORY IS BEING WRITTEN!

-i want to believe you re: eren, armin. by god i want to believe you, as much as mikasa does. i want to believe you so much that it brings me to tears. it's like, i lose hope, and then you say something and i'm like BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, and then eren appears and i lose hope again.

-GABI CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES GIRL SHINE. i love gabi. truly a stand-out from part two.

-"also, i'm in love with you" falcoooo, justice for falco

-THE POETRY WHEN GABI SNATCHES OFF FALCO'S ARMBAND AS HE DID HERS! AHHH

-the times i've said 'i love you' and 'i hate you' to this manga, in rapid succession, are ridiculous and concerning

-eren is more eren with his hair down and all over his face. i renounce the manbun

-levi looks so bored being eaten by a zombie in the school castes

[donnerpartyofone]

i just got a whole bunch of new followers on letterboxd, and checking out who they all are really reminded me of why i don’t follow too many people on letterboxd. bad amateur writing is hard to enjoy even ironically, but there’s something about bad film writing that’s really harmful. i have hate-read so many of this one guy’s reviews that i feel embarrassed about it now. he describes himself as an “arthouse manager”, which i assume means he runs a theater, but it bothers me because nobody says “let’s go out to the arthouse tonight��� without the word “theater” in there, it’s just unnatural and pretentious. so that’s red flag #1 right in his description, which is followed by red flag #2 about how he hates modern media, as if being a luddite or nostalgia freak automatically means you’re a sensitive genius. it’s probably worth mentioning a sub-red flag, which is that he also says he’s 27 years old, which has to mean that he either wants to be congratulated for being precocious somehow, or he thinks he’s going to get laid off this movie website where you can’t even post pictures of yourself, or both, i mean who fucking cares how old you are anyway, for what reason? then the first review is of DAYS OF BEING WILD, in which he describes Wong Kar-Wai as “seeking to understand what draws women to shitty, emotionally unavailable men”; i mean imagine being so full of shit that you project your own sullen incel-y “UGH WHY DO GIRLS ONLY LIKE BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH” garbage onto whatever revered works of art show up on your tv screen? this guy goes on to reveal himself in almost a strip tease fashion across many of his reviews, breaking up his pompous analyses with macho mindbenders like “i have often said that being horny is the point of life” and biographical information like about his manipulative alcoholic father. i’m not trying to say that everybody with a delinquent or dysfunctional parent is destined to have idiotic and serial killerish attitudes about intimacy, because that would condemn pretty much all of us. but, i am sadly familiar with solipsistic assholes who brandish their alleged intellectual superiority in one fist while beating the dust out of their childhood traumas with the other, and just seeing his smug letterboxd reviews tells me everything i need to know about him. hopefully he just followed me in a spammy way to get attention and will never interact, or maybe i’ll say something he finds politically disagreeable and he’ll go away.

honestly finding anybody worth following on letterboxd is kind of hard. it can be nice to read stuff by people who are just having fun and shooting straight about what they’re watching, but the site is filled with wannabe J Hobermans and Lester Bangses who are just out to prove that they own a thesaurus. they’re practically all dudes, you can smell the old spice and maker’s mark wafting out of your laptop fan when you read some of this chest-pounding nonsense. not all of them have such toxic things to say as the aforementioned douchebag, but there’s a real preponderance of users who seem to think they’re reinventing the language. the sad thing is when they really like MY writing. there’s this guy i follow who i think used to write fairly clearly, but now everything he posts looks like a burroughs cut-up with really avant garde ideas about punctuation and adjectives, and unfortunately, i think it’s on purpose. i’d unfollow him, but i feel like i can’t, because he is as nice as literally anyone has ever been about my writing. he goes so far as to give me a hard time about why i’m not a professional film critic, he’s like a ~fan~...and then i gotta ask myself, how much is my writing like HIS writing? this is where the difficulties of letterboxd start to feel worth while, in a masochistic kind of way. like, how often do i write in the same wanky bombastic fashion as these shitty little internet valedictorians who i hate so much? probably a lot! i don’t like feeling that way but i have to admit that i’m grateful for the opportunity to check myself, and possibly improve.

however good or bad i am, letterboxd is still a better place to write than tumblr. i mean tumblr is less than optimal for long form writing anyway, but it’s also a question of who the majority population is here. the other day i got a comment on a pretty old post i wrote about ANNIHILATION, a movie i found kind of smarmy and shallow. the commenter said that my points about the movie were good, BUT they would all be negated by the content of the novels on which the movie is based, and they wanted to know why i deliberately omitted this material from my analysis, as if this were a conspiracy to be unraveled. they actually asked me what the point of my post was, like what was my goal in writing only what i wrote and leaving all kinds of things out. basically. this person COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE IDEA OF A MOVIE REVIEW. i answered them, because they had tried hard to be polite, that my movie review blog is just for movie reviews, in which i talk about what i think about movies i watch. i’m not pursuing everything related to certain intellectual properties, nor am i invested in the logic and content of Extended Universes of whatever individual movies i’m watching. i’m not mad at this person, who was asking an honest question, but i was completely dumbfounded by the question itself. i mean imagine being SO INVESTED in fandom as like a type of lifestyle that you don’t know what a movie review is anymore? like every piece of media is regarded as some sort of municipality, that belongs to a state, and is governed by certain people, and its characters are like Real People who are available for friendship, dating and more. no piece of media is just entertainment, or even an artistic statement anymore. for this person, watching a movie is something like studying civic infrastructure, except with more DIY alterations and more fetishizing of gay men. i keep trying to imagine reading three paragraphs about some middling hollywood movie that amounts to something like “i did not enjoy watching this film,” and just having no personal frame of reference AT ALL for what it means when somebody writes that down. like just not knowing what a movie review is at all, and asking the author to explain the meaning of the bizarre behavior of saying you thought some movie sucked.

why DOES anybody write about movies though? if i don’t find it normal or desirable to watch everything with an exclusive filter for who do you want to fuck and who do you want to see fucking each other, then what else am i getting at? surely i don’t see myself as a potential roger ebert or leonard maltin, especially considering the extremely limited number of celebrity film critics in the history of mankind. i’m also not Pro- the idea of sorting all movies according to some rigid standards of technical quality and deservingness, like anybody needs me to grade them after they’ve performed the nearly impossible-seeming task of even making one single movie to begin with. sometimes i stupidly start complaining about stupid responses to my writing that i get once in a while from the internet, and my shrink asks me, “what are you up to when you post this writing?” she always says i’m “up to something” when i seem to be following but willfully ignoring my subconscious drives, which i think is pretty funny. but i don’t think i’m pursuing feelings of superiority, over movies or other writers. i think i’m just trying to figure out what movies are trying to say about human existence--and they all are trying to say something, are motivated by some angst, even the really insulting ones that only offer up wish fulfillment pablum. i’m constantly trying and failing to figure out my own existence, and i must sense that attempting to decipher movies is one way of getting closer to decoding my own experiences.

and on that note, now i have to complain about the fact that Lyft’s driver rating system includes “fun conversation” as one of the four factors in giving someone five stars. i rarely want a stranger to try to force me to talk to them, especially at 4am when i’m headed to the airport under a miserable pile of luggage. even so, i recently got into a car in such a state, with a guy who was clearly going for that five star rating, babbling loudly and convulsively at me all the way to my terminal. it would be one thing if he were just trying to be nice, but he was giving me shit about everything from my pickup location to what i had done in his fair city for a week and a half. i did not immediately volunteer how many movies i had seen at the festival i attended, because i probably intuited that when he did make me tell him, he would inform me that he doesn’t need to watch movies, because “I WATCH *LIFE*, MAN!!!” the irony was that this guy clearly didn’t watch life at all; he didn’t even have the ability to discern that i didn’t want to talk, or that i didn’t want him to insult my favorite leisure activity, and that probably NOBODY wants to listen to him talk about his shitty generic blues rock band for half an hour before 5am. so that’s the one thing i can say for even the most obnoxious reviewer on letterboxd--that probably they are TRYING to hone the art of observation, a dying skill. probably they are TRYING to train themselves to be an active audience that engages thoughtfully with the movie instead of just hucking rotten tomatoes at the screen OR passively allowing it to wash over them. even if i often hate the results, at least some of these guys seem be making an effort.

[schmuckubus]

THAT’S IT I am FUCKING SICK of the slander I see leveled at my boy Stuart on a regular basis so I will take the precious minutes of my life required to defend his honour. First allow me to address the allegation that Stuart is some silver spoon sucking aristocrat who never had to work for what he’s got. Little Stu’s parents fucking DIED in a tragic supermarket soup can accident when he was but a wee bald babe and he spent a major portion of his formative years stuck in an orphanage. He had NO FRIENDS because he was a little mouse and NOBODY WOULD ADOPT HIM because he was a little mouse. Remy experiences prejudice from humans sure, but ones who have no grasp of his sentience or intellect. The population of NY SAW this little talking cardigan-wearing sweetheart and spurned him regardless. Stuart remained stalwart through years of this full-intentioned abuse until the Littles, the decent enlightened people they were, saw him for the wonder he was and gave him a home, a beautiful and somewhat opulent home for certain, but one that he had suffered for. Remy meanwhile grew up in an enormous family AND had parents, or at very least his father, for his entire childhood. HE spurned HIS family, for understandable reasons of culinary ignorance within his culture, but despite this they were ALWAYS behind him even when he was bein a catty little bitch. It was, in fact, his own selfish acts that brought the wrath of the old shotgun lady down on his clan and forced their exodus. Secondly, actin like Remy’s masterful talents with food and street-smarts automatically put him above Stuart? Get real. Stuart almost dies on a regular basis, he had the fortitude to survive bein swooshled around in a washing machine, could YOU do that? Bitch I could not. He enters a boating race, during which an evil child ACTIVELY tries to fucking kill him and not only does he survive that ordeal he fucking wins and also sinks the little bastards boat. And he’s so fucking nice and polite the whole time, that is STONE COLD. Not even a slick kitty cat street gang has the stones to put my man to bed, he fucking trumps all comers. He kills a big fucking falcon. I don’t remember what else happens in that movie but he fucking kills the falcon and I remember that guy was a real bad bird. Stuart has nice stuff and he lives well but he covets nothing and is willing to sacrifice his car, his plane, whatever just to help the people he cares about. He has GOOD MANNERS and that shit counts. Remy is selfish and rude to pretty much everyone, and at no point does he fight or kill anyone. I get that he’s had it rough and I know he learns and matures and I respect him for that I am not shitting on Remy he is a great rat and he makes a mean STEW but y’all gotta face facts. Stuart is a survivalist wunderkind, which brings me to my final point. Stuart Little is a CHILD, Remy is a GROWN MAN RAT and Stuart STILL has the edge. It has nothing to do with Remy being gay, gay people can fucking dish out slaps with the best, honestly Stuart could just as likely be gay I mean he is a child and he needs the time and space to develop and figure things out for himself I’m just saying the sweaters? It’s a strong possibility. It doesn’t matter. Stuart doesn’t have the mass or the access to knives that Remy has but in my heart of hearts I know he’d find a way to fuck up his day. I don’t know where all the Stuart Little hate has come from these past few years but honestly it doesn’t matter. Stuart has lived his whole life with the prejudice of fickle humans and it doesn’t slow him down one bit. Stuart Little would 100% beat Remy Ratatouille in a brawl. And you know what? He’d help him up after. 

And that’s what it’s all about.

ppl in the ratatouille tag asking who would win in a fight remy or stuart little and the answer is obviously remy like hello that cardigan wearing orphan mouse had his whole life handed to him on a silver plate, meanwhile remy busted his ass every single day to support a family of 500 or so rats, most of whom were homophobic!!!!! by night he was a CHEF, a genius forced to hide his talent AND his identity . you think he wont beat that spoiled little mouse within an inch of his life if he had to?? just because hes gay???? dont make me laugh