#i am learning to be content where i am however my posture in this place is simply not ideal

[thebirdandhersong]

you THINK and wholeheartedly believe that love is going to be a good and beautiful thing and then it comes to your door again and you realise love is like a roundhouse kick to the face love is an icy raindrop sliding down your back love is laughter that cuts deeper than any other pain you've known love is a cup of tea you make that someone leaves on a counter which remains untouched until you pour it down the sink love is hearing voices outside the door moving further and further away from you love is memorizing what the beloved's back looks like because you're always the one watching them leave love is nights filled with sadness so delirious and intense you won't let yourself sleep love is standing by a window waiting pacing the room waiting always always waiting for the knock that never comes love is an unsent letter you can't bear to tear up or throw away love is a hopeful cocoon that you break out of desperately reaching for metamorphosis only to find that the only thing there waiting for you beyond the veil is the smallness of yourself love is sitting at the same stupid table peeling oranges for someone who doesn't want them until your hands bleed. you want to believe love can be a good and beautiful thing and you DO believe it for other people, but with every new minor tragedy it gets harder to believe it's possible for you because there's always the sneaking suspicion lingering (post-ex-boyfriend, which........ thanks, buddy) that it's such a burden and a chore and an inconvenience and a sisyphean task and a herculean effort to love you, so why would anyone bother? which you know is a silly thought and an irrational fear rooted in past pain. but reality seems to tell you over and over again that your idea of love being a good and beautiful thing was only ever a dream, and that the girls they chose and love and put an effort towards and are pursuing joyfully and steadily possess a certain irresistible radiant compelling brilliantly burning light that you don't have anymore, or maybe never did. naturally you somehow manage somehow to turn this into something about shame, too, because you believed love was a good and beautiful thing, and that's embarrassing and naive, but then you kept believing it, even though this area of life continues trending towards tragedy. in month nine of unending heartache, there's a part of you that is starting to believe that it will always be this way: that it will never change: that this is where it starts and ends. you in the kitchen peeling oranges. putting on a brave face because your darn pride would rather have you die than allow people to notice you're in this specific pain, trying to distinguish between your agony and your self-pity, futilely wishing all the while you could burn down the dream that refuses to die

[absolutelyfizzing]

little dove

loki x reader

description - Loki acted so caring around you, more so than anyone else in his life. He loved to take care of you, especially when you had a long day, and he got teased by some of the team for it.

warnings - fem reader, cute loki and pet names, implications of gender fluid loki?, reader gets picked up, slight implications of a nsfw theme the night before

word count - 1900

A/N - this is a pretty plotless blurb but i just love this man, i have been obsessed with the new series and just wanted to write anything about him. i will inevitably be writing for him more so please end me now. there are no spoilers for the new series and it takes place in an AU after new york but pretty much otherwise out of timeline. all the avengers live at the compound together, endgame didnt happen and no i wont talk about it.

MASTERLIST

Loki was not someone who was overly friendly. To most of the people in the compound, he was courteous at best. That rule, however, was bent occasionally. The only exceptions were you and his brother (some of the time). He had been smitten with you the moment he saw you though he would never admit it. You were bubbly and light and the exact opposite of him. You were so friendly and kind that it almost made him want to be the same.

You were kind to him, which he was shocked by. Most of the people in the compound tolerated him but they were never caught being too nice. You, on the other hand, were friendly to him the day you met him.

You weren't an Avenger, you weren't really even a fighter. You were a genius in the medical field as well as the unofficial caretaker of everyone on the team. You made sure that they all ate, they didn't overwork themselves, that they were getting enough sleep every night because they were your closest friends. Everyone listened to you. You had this power over them all that they just wanted to make sure you were happy and that meant they wanted to do what you asked of them. They tried their best to take care of you as well.

When you met Loki and were very nice to him, he expected some ulterior motive. He assumed that there was something you wanted or that you would gain his trust and then humiliate him later. So he kept his guard up. This was proved wrong over the months to come. He noticed that you were that kind to everyone and you were just happy to be around other people. He let you in over time.

You became the only person who he opened up to, even more than his brother. You would keep him company even when he lashed out at others and when he was filled with guilt. You forgave him for his past without question and opened up to him as well. It took probably 3 months for Loki to realize that he was in love with you.

He couldn't believe himself. In love with a midgardian? What was he thinking?

But it was undeniable and uncontrollable. He just couldn't help himself. You would read to him and watch movies with him. You would braid his hair when he was stressed and would teach him how to cook when he asked. You were just everything to him. It took him a long time to confess. He was terrified that you would reject him. You could have had anyone you wanted, why would you choose him?

When he did confess, you were thrilled and he couldn't believe it. You kissed him and he thought he could die happy right then and there. He had never felt this much love for anyone besides his mother.

You continued to break his walls down and he fell deeper in love with you every day. He didn't, however, change his behavior towards others very much. He had grown closer to the team, having regained some trust from them all. He was no longer aggressive and he tried very hard not to lash out. Most of that was out of his own desire to be trusted. He realized that he was going to have to make his life work to remain with you and he slowly learned that most of the people in the compound weren't actually as awful as he might have originally guessed. That didn't mean that his personality changed toward them though. He was still slightly cold and short. He wouldn't smile too much and he was what some might call grumpy most of the time.

That only changed around you and everyone noticed. Loki got teased for it constantly and he couldn't care less. He just wanted to make you happy and he had no regard for what anyone thought of your relationship.

He was waiting patiently in the common area of the compound on the couch. Steve and Rhodey were sat on the couch watching something that Loki didn't recognize or care for, it was some kind of reality TV. When he heard the elevator door open he looked toward the door and you were walking towards him. A grin spread over his face and his posture relaxed. He could hear the men on the couch scoff at his sudden change in demeanor. When you got close to him he picked you up and pulled you to straddle his hips on his lap and immediately began kissing all over you. You buried your face in his chest and he kissed your hair.

"How are you, my love?" He mumbled sweetly and you hummed. "Long day?" he questioned and you nodded in affirmation. "Lets go get you some food then, yes?" He asked lightly and you hummed happily. He picked you up and you clung to him, arms and legs wrapping around him. He carried you with ease toward the kitchen. It shocked you sometimes how much he could lift and how easily he lifted you but you had to remind yourself that he was indeed a god.

"How come you never treat us that way?" Rhodey called from the couch and Loki grumbled a bit.

"Oh I'm sorry did you want me to pick you up and make you some tea?" He asked sarcastically and you giggled from where your face was pressed into his chest. He smiled at the fact that he had gotten you to laugh and he set you on the countertop. He tried to pull away to make you some food but you did not let him leave you, still holding on to the front of the shirt that he was wearing. "Do you want to talk about your day?" He asked sweetly, kissing your forehead lightly. You gazed up at him lovingly and his heart skipped a beat.

"I'm just tired. People are annoying and I didn't exactly sleep much last night." You winked at the last part. He smirked at your comment.

"I'm sorry, my love. I was under the impression that you enjoyed what we did last night but I would be happy to give you plenty of time to sleep tonight if that's what you would prefer." he teased and you punched him lightly in the chest.

"Okay fine you're right, I like getting kept up." You confessed. You paused for a moment and his eyes remained on you as he waited patiently for you to continue. "I was mistaken for an intern again today. You would think that after over a year of working here that people would recognize my name and my work but today there were some new investors walking through the facility. When they came to look at my work they started to talk to one of my coworkers and then turned to me to ask me to get them a coffee order while they waited for the doctor to arrive." You grumbled, your mood now sour at the memory. Loki frowned and he felt his anger begin to take shape inside of him. His eyes flashed green for a moment.

"Would you like me to go and teach them a lesson? Perhaps just to mildly terrify them?" he asked, fully serious. That cheered you up plenty and you chuckled. Loki knew that you were laughing because of the absurdity of his statement and the fact that he was dead serious but he was just happy to see you smile again. "I will never understand the midgardian obsession with gender roles. Though I suppose my own identity is more fluid than most asgardians as well." He confessed and you brought your hand to rest on the side of his face. He leaned his head into your hand as he beamed at you. You loved when he compared his home to yours. It reminded you just how powerful he was and that he still chose to spend his days with you. There was suddenly a flash of green before he held his hand out to you, now holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. When you gasped and moved to grab them he slipped from your grasp to move towards the refrigerator.

"Hey that's not fair, you tricked me." You pouted at him, now grumbling that you couldn't hold him anymore.

"Little dove, I cannot make you food when you hold onto me. When I am finished cooking then you can stay with me for as long as you would like." He promised and you nodded solemnly. He quickly pressed another kiss to your cheek before moving around the kitchen to prepare you waffles as he often did when you were having a long day. You observed the beautiful flowers in your hand and watched him as he moved around the kitchen, a million times more comfortable than he had been when he first moved into the compound. You talked contentedly with the people passing by as well as the man who was diligently trying to improve your mood. Occasionally one of the other team members would walk by and laugh a bit at how caring he was acting toward you, all of them just happy you were content though. Eventually Thor stopped by while Loki put some batter into the waffle iron and sliced some fruit.

"You know, this is the happiest I have ever seen him." He stated simply, a smile in is voice.

"It's the happiest I've been too." You responded with a small grin.

"The last time I saw him open up to someone the way that he opens up to you was on Asgard with our mother. She would be happy to see him being so vulnerable again." He patted your back and walked away as tears started to come to your eyes. The brothers would talk of their mother sometimes and Loki often mention the fact that he believed she would have loved you, if not for your own personality then for what you did for her son. You wished that you could meet her.

You were suddenly taken out of your thoughts by someone handing you a plate of waffles and sliced up fruit with a little container of syrup on the side. You looked up at Loki and nearly cried right there. You put the plate aside for a moment to reach out and pull him into a crushing hug. He was a bit startled but responded quickly, a hand going to the back of your head and his fingers brushing through your hair soothingly.

"Did something happen, my love?" He asked softly and you sniffled a bit.

"Just love you and I'm very thankful for everything you do for me." You got out and he affirmed to himself that he would die for you in an instant.

"I love you too, darling, but I slaved away at those waffles and now they are getting cold." He teased and he kissed your hair gently. You took a deep breath before pulling away, looking up at him with love. You smiled and then hopped off of the counter. He walked with you over to the dining table where he sat next to you and serenely waited as you ate, the food lifting your spirits a bit and easing your anxiety of the day. You planned on spending the rest of it with the man next to you as well as every day after that.

[marshmallowprotection]

Twin’s 2022 Birthday Analysis

I have been screaming about this for a while now and I think I've managed to put together cohesive thoughts on the matter. 

There are a lot of keywords and details in the art for the cover that lead me to believe what I am currently speculating. So, right off the bat here, I want to say there is no white hair in this photo as far as I can tell. You can tell tell it's a Zen or Saeran when there is too much white space on the photo and it's impossible to tell the posing.

Normally, when they give us a photo that has Saeran in it, you can't tell how he's posed due to the bright backdrops that blend in with his hair! What threw me for a loop was the fact that I can see two different red blobs in the photo. 

With the position of the characters, I can tell that Saeran and Saeyoung have red hair, or at the very least, it seems that way. I think you get where I'm going with this. SE Saeran has a strong likelihood of being on the title screen for the first time ever. It could be the first time that he is seen out of the secret ending entirely. 

It's hard for me to believe that that could be real because it's a major spoiler, but the fact remains that if Suit Saeran can get one, SE Saeran is free game, too. I never imagined that he would be able to be out of the hidden secret ending but it strongly looks like it could be possible. He is locked behind so much content and you have to go through a lot of it to be able to see him in the first place. The only photo we have of him with red hair is the singular photo that comes from the final part of the ending. You know the one that I'm talking about.

So, forgive me for being excited and off my rocker about this. But. This is not what I expected, but they have been doing art that has continued to get me overwhelmed and surprised. In the same vein that I never thought Suit Saeran would be on the title screen, it seems as though SE Saeran might be finally getting a moment of vindication. We can get art for him that is new for the first time since 2016. It makes me happy to think about that because his character has been so important to me for a long time. It was him that I connected to first. There is so much about him that a lot of people find a sense of kinship in.

So, just see him on the title screen, it feels amazing.

I could be wrong, and they could just be trying to say that GE Saeran dyes his hair some day. That could be an option. I'm definitely not going to rule it out. This is just my hopeful dream as far as what I am trying to make out of an analysis. I do have to make a point about character design choices. But, they don't add that into Saeran's After End with his hair. Even as time continues to pass, he keeps his hair the way it is. He keeps it bleached for whatever reason.

It feels like the way that they phrased it seemed to put so much emphasis on the fact that it would be based on the secret ending. They are specific when they use the character names; most specifically, when it comes to Ray, Unknown, or Saeran. They put an emphasis on that for a reason. For them to say that they are twins out right is definitely a bold move because it is such a spoiler. They’ve not done that in an birthday event so boldly on the main post. 

However, I think it's important to remember that they are revealed as twins using this specifically in the game. The first time that you learn about Saeran's name properly as well as the truth being revealed is during Saeyoung's route. That's why I knew that something was going to be different this time. That’s why I feel so strongly it could be SE Saeran. For them to do that leads me to believe that the connection I'm supposed to take away from this is that this is a drawing set in the secret ending.

From the way that the boys are positioned in this photo, It seems like Saeyoung is trying to pull Saeran into a picture. Saeran has a posture that looks stiff, curt, or annoyed. It doesn't look like he wants to be close to his brother but he's kind of just letting it happen. It has the same vein of emotions that go into the secret ending. 

Saeran reluctantly trying to live and make peace with himself while Saeyoung tries to fix a messy bond with duct tape and glue. That's kind of their dynamic in that world. They definitely are on a path towards healing but it's going to take a long time. There's a lot of trauma that they have to work through that isn't going to be fixed so easily.

I think MC is in the photo as well. There is literally nobody else that it could be. That's just the point. It seems like this would be the sort of awkward family photo that they might have. MC is all smiles at the camera and happy to see Saeyoung and Saeran healing. This is a rocky timeline in regard to healing but they're trying. 

The progress isn't linear and they're doing their best with it. Some days are better than others. Some days are worse. What matters is that they have each other and it's going to be okay. They can have a true birthday together for the first time in a very long time and it's going to be okay. Think I'm going to cry. However, this is my hopeful theory. This is the one that I’m dreaming about but I’ve got a hunch that my guess might be wrong due to the photo itself. So, this was my first assumption looking at the photo. So, if this is the theory we go with, it’s the Secret Ending.

This is my second guess: 

If this is the assumption we’re going with, it’s actually MC in the middle of the twins Saeyoung and GE Saeran. It’s hard to say because of the colors but I’m going to say it’s possible and we shouldn’t rule out the reality that it could be our boy, GE Saeran, as well. 

That would be set after the Saeran After Ending and it would also make me happy to see them getting along and having a party with the MC that cares about them and wants them to heal this broken family bond and make it right. MC in the center with the twins on either side is a likely speculation, bringing them together in a poetic way since as the player, we’re the ones that can bring them back together as a family. A bit of small separation makes sense given the photo at the end of Saeran’s AE. We’re sat in the middle of the twins in a field of flowers. It’s awkward, but... it’s not as tense as the SE is. 

They’re making steps towards making things right, but it’s not forced and they have time to come to terms with things in a healthy way. 

I attempted to color sample from the photo to help me gauge what the answer might be, but it’s blurry enough that I’m not getting a consistent answer on the hair colors. But, hey, it’s always worth a shot. Maybe it’s the way they distorted the photo itself or maybe it’s just me, but there should be more white in this if we want to believe it’s GE Saeran. In comparison to those past previews with him, anyway. I’m picking up way too much brown and red in the hair areas! 

Maybe I’ll clown on myself later for this, but either Cheritz is really good at messing with me or it truly is SE Saeran.

I don't know if it's because I'm writing this half asleep, but does that look like a bomb to any of you? Like, are you guys seeing a bomb in that photo or is it just me? Please tell me you guys are seeing the two bombs in a photo. I don't know what else that could be because it doesn't look like it's small enough to be a berry or fruit. 

I don't know if it's me or if it's something that I don't recognize because I have no clue what else it can be. It's clearly on top of the cake since there is whipped cream and stuff. I have no idea what that is. Let’s not give those boys bombs, please. I’m tired of them nearly blowing up. That’s not a great thing to put on the cake for them after what they went through. Blueberries? Maybe? What is that!?

But, I do think it's really nice that they have green and red candles. I should add that that's another reason why I think that this would be SE Saeran. Because in Another Story, they are coded with pink. Having a green seems to relate more to Unknown and SE. What do you guys think?

I want to figure out what is on that painting or photo in the back there because it it seems like they have an obvious open space for it. It could be a key detail or something. It could also just be a commissioned painting of the entire family and Meowy. It's simply a blurry background detail that I shouldn't hyperfixate on that but you guys know me and how I operate. 

BUNNY BOYS. 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

[redpandaramblings]

A Matter of Admiration Alpha Gang Orca x Omega f!Reader

Hello Hello! Here is my very VERY late submission for the SFW portion of Spudcorner's Valentine Blood and Chocolate Collab. This was meant to be a two page drabble. 13 pages later it's a bit more than that. Regardless, I do hope you enjoy!

Sequel/Epilogue Here

Content Warnings- Omegaverse, SFW, Insecurities, Misunderstandings, Pining, Fluff, Lots of food mentioned, Kugo being very down on himself, very minor mention of blood and stitches needed.

“Really? Again?”

The large alpha seemed to shrink under your judgemental glare.

“I am sorry, Y/N. The fight got intense and it slipped off. Someone must have stepped on it.”

You sighed heavily, your gaze turning to the workbench where the shattered remains of your creation sat. This was your seventh attempt at outfitting Gang Orca with a communicator headset. It was dangerous for him to keep fishing for a handheld during the heat of battle. Unfortunately, his lack of outer ear made keeping a headset on him difficult. Shaking your head, you gave a small smile.

“Not your fault, Sakamata. We knew this was going to be tricky. Though at this rate I’m tempted to just glue a headset on you and call it a day.”

Kugo snorted, his posture relaxing. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I hate to see your hard work go to waste.”

“It’s not a waste if I learn something from it. This one lasted a couple weeks of normal patrol work, so that’s an improvement. We just need to figure out what was different about this fight. So, sit. Talk.”

Kugo shook his head with an amused huff. He admitted he had been slightly dubious when you had first come to his agency. He’d encountered many hero support workers claiming to specialize in mutation quirks that seemed to be looking for lab rats for their creations. However, you always listened to what he said, and made suggestions that would actually make his job easier. You made sure your support items not only were functional, but comfortable at well. If the few years you had worked for him, he was pleased to say you had become good friends.

“I can’t right now, Y/N. I need to get cleaned up, then complete my report before I forget the details. I’ll come back first thing tomorrow.” You frowned, tapping your foot. Kugo fought to keep a neutral expression. You’d never forgive him if you knew how much he enjoyed your expressions when you were annoyed.

“Alright. Fine. First thing tomorrow. But make sure you get some rest tonight, you’ve been working too hard lately!”

Sakamata waved a hand in answer as he walked out the workshop door. He’d try to follow your request, but a hero’s work is never done.

~~~~~

Gang Orca shuffled through the door to his agency with an aura of gloom about him. In the past five days, he had broken five more communicators, gotten into several serious fights, and had allowed a villain to escape. And that was just his work life. Some of his friends had set him up for a speed dating session. He didn’t blame them for trying, but it ended exactly how he knew it would. Most of the omegas who had been present were scared of him, and those that weren’t were clearly only interested in his pro hero paycheck. Kugo trudged toward his office, his thoughts gloomy. A man with a quirk like his would never have a normal courtship. It hurt sometimes. How nice it would be to come home to a sweet smelling omega. What wouldn’t he give to home filled with pups, and laughter and love? He sighed softly as he swung his door open. Such a life was not meant for him, so no point in even dreaming. On autopilot, he hung his coat on the coat rack, and turned to set his briefcase on his desk. However, the desk was already occupied. Kugo tilted his head as he stared at the object resting on his desk. It appeared to be a large bento box, wrapped in a rather feminine handkerchief, patterned with some sort of flowers. Kugo set his briefcase down on a chair before coming closer to investigate. Gingerly, he untied the knot, setting the cloth aside as he looked at the contents curiously.

First and most obviously, was the strawberry shaped sticky note attached to the top. “You looked like you had been having a rough week. I hope this can make it better!” The writing was… painstakingly cute. The “i”s were dotted with little hearts. Each letter having just a little bit of flourish, while still being legible.

Kugo hummed quietly to himself. Clearly this had been left on his desk by mistake. A bit awkward, considering his name was on the door, but there was no other explanation. He drummed his fingers on the desk as he considered his options. He could take a guess at who the bento was for. There were several popular alpha heroes working for him that got their share of gifts from admirers. The soft omegan scent coming from the handkerchief that had wrapped the bento was a solid clue the gift was likely meant for one of them. But really, there was no way to tell for sure who it was supposed to end up with, and he really didn’t want the hard work to go to waste. Yes. Best thing would be to eat the bento, and place the box in the break room with a note inside the box apologizing.

His course of action decided, Kugo opened the bento, quietly sucking a breath as he saw what was inside. There were sausages cut to look like little octopi. A large slab of teriyaki salmon. Rice balls shaped like teddy bear heads, complete with little seaweed faces. He tried to tamp down his delight at seeing over half of the bento was dedicated to tamagoyaki. While he lived up to his stereotype of loving fish, the egg dish was a secret favorite of his; something his mother had made for him whenever he had a bad day when he was growing up. The second layer of the bento had even more. Rice, vegetables, and surprisingly a small but adorable piece of cake. Kugo put the bento back together with a small smile on his face. Perhaps it wasn’t meant for him, but it had been a long time since he had been able to enjoy something like this- cute and homemade, clearly filled with a great deal of care. He couldn’t quite feel guilty as he looked forward to lunch. He could pretend, just this once, that a sweet smelling omega had put so much care into something for him.

~~~~~~

Later that day, when most of the day team had left, Kugo made his way to the common break room. He carefully cleaned out the bento box in the sink, setting it to the side to dry. He folded the handkerchief it had came in, and placed it next to the box before sighing. He was in the process of scribbling a brief apology note when he heard a cough. He glanced up to see y/n leaning against the doorway.

“You okay, chief? Thought your shift ended an hour ago.”

Kugo nodded as he placed his note on top of the handkerchief. “Yes, just had a few things I needed to wrap up. What about you? I know you were supposed to be done several hours ago now.”

You fidgeted, embarrassed, shrugging your shoulders as you glanced away. “Had an idea for how to improve a few items and, well, you know how I get when I have a project. But what have you got there? You never struck me as the homemade lunch type.”

It was Kugo’s turn to look uncomfortable as he shuffled from foot to foot. “It was left on my desk this morning by mistake. I had no way of knowing who it was actually meant for, and I didn’t want it going to waste, so I ate it.”

You frowned as you walked into the room, opening cupboards and starting to retrieve things to make tea. You held a mug up toward Kugo in a silent question, grabbing a second one when he nodded. You were quiet for a few moments, going through the motions. After a while you asked “How are you so sure it wasn’t for you?”

Kugo snorted, leaning back against the counter and gesturing at himself. “Omegas aren’t exactly lined up around the block. I don’t place high on the ‘heroes that look most like villains’ list every year for no reason. Some unfortunate omega got confused about whose office was whose. It’s a shame I couldn’t give it to whoever it was meant for, it was a beautifully crafted bento.” Kugo doesn’t mention the note. Kugo especially doesn’t mention the note had found its way into his desk drawer to save as a memory of how nice it had been to receive the bento, even if it was an accident.

You laughed, passing him a steaming cup of tea, made just how he liked. “Sakamata, don’t talk down about yourself like that. You’re big, strong, and prime alpha material. You’re one of the top heroes! And even more importantly, you’re a gentle kind man that any omega would be lucky to have. I’d bet good money that that bento absolutely was made just for you.”

“A nice thought, but I doubt it. You’ll see. In a few days I bet a bento will make its way to who it was meant for.”

~~~~~~

Kugo stood stock still in the doorway to his office. Sitting on his desk was another cloth wrapped package. Once was a mistake, clearly. But two days in a row? Why on Earth was there another bento on his desk? He approached the desk and slide the bento to him. He untied the scented fabric with care. A cat shaped note greeted him.

“I’m sorry if it wasn’t clear before, Sakamata. I wanted to make this for you because I admire you so much. I’m not always great at saying my feelings, so I hope my cooking says enough.”

This was… for him. The bentos… were for him? He sat in his chair, leaning his head against his hands as he regarded the innocent looking lunch. If it wasn’t a mistake, then what could it be? Probably a fortune hunting omega trying to get in his good graces, if he went off his past experience. Though usually those types of omegas were more likely to offer favors of a different sort. Kugo winced as another thought occurred to him. There was a good chance this omega pitied him. Ugly, intimidating, unmatable. Someone had seen him and decided he needed looking after because clearly he’d never get someone on his own. Yes. That had to be it. He should leave the bento in the break room and end this farce as soon as possible.

His mind made up, Kugo picked up the bundle to do exactly that. The subtle smell of the contents hit his sensitive nose, causing him to salivate. Tempura? Definitely egg. Well, it would be a shame to not even look inside to make sure.

Clearly just as much care had gone into this one as the last one. The rice balls were shaped like little cat heads, to match the note. An assortment of tempura seemed to be the main dish, cute cat shaped food picks stuck in some of them. There were even paw print shaped gummy candies for the dessert. Every inch of the lunch was absolutely adorable. And it was all done for him. There was no way Kugo could let it go to waste. It hurt to know it was a gift given out of pity, but maybe, just for a while, he could pretend there was someone out there who loved him like this. The omega would grow tired of this eventually. Until then, he’d let himself enjoy this.

~~~~~

It was surprising how easily this had become routine. Every day when Kugo walked into his office, there was a new bento waiting for him. And every day he’d unwrap the bento, indulging a brief moment in the cutely patterned handkerchiefs. Every bento was unique and cute. They seemed to show a good understanding of his tastes and preferences. It was a pleasant break on the quiet days and a welcome comfort on the rough days. Each day there was a sweet written note that Kugo gently stored in his desk drawer. It was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

~~~~~~~

Kugo hated attending charity events. It wasn’t the charities, he always supported good causes. It wasn’t the dressing up, or the fancy atmosphere. It was the people. While a few of his friends were around somewhere, there were many many others who didn’t know him well. Others who were intimidated by his appearance. Others who apparently had no idea just how sharp his hearing was.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe Gang Orca is here.”

“I know! Well, I suppose he is a hero. Allegedly, anyway.”

“Did he come with anyone?”

“Of course not. I mean ew. Look at him. Can you imagine cosying up to that at the end of the day?”

“I know! And those teeth! If he tried to bond someone, he’d take their head clean off!”

“As if anyone would want to bond with that.”

“I don’t know. He’s in the top ten pretty often. He has to be loaded, right?”

“Would have to be a lot for me to even consider it.”

“It could be all the money and I still wouldn’t!”

“Oh don’t say that! Poor bastard can’t help he’s unmatable.”

Kugo walked away from the refreshment table as he tried to tune out the unkind comments and mocking laughter. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. He knew full well what he looked like. He had had enough failed courting attempts to know exactly what omegas thought of him. But it still stung. Stung more than usual, actually. The daily bentos with their scented cloths and cute little notes had almost made him forget. The only omegas who were interested either pitied him, or wanted his money. He could never forget that.

~~~~~

What he could forget, apparently, was that the number two pro hero was scheduled to be at his office the morning after the charity gala. Kugo stifled a sigh when he saw the red winged hero waiting outside his agency’s door. Of course he’d have to deal with this on a day when he wasn’t in the best of moods. “Orca! My man, good to see you again!”

Kugo nodded as he held the door open. “Hawks.”

“Didn’t get a chance to talk to you at the party last night. You know how it is. Go to one of those things when you're single, and you get swarmed.”

Kugo gave a non committal grunt. No, he didn’t know. He just wanted this morning to be over with. He perked up slightly as he saw you hurrying down the hallway toward them. Hawks gave a low whistle. “Who's the babe?” Kugo half growled. “That is Miss Y/N. The support item engineer you allegedly came here to see. You will be respectful and refrain from flirting with my staff.”

Keigo held up his hands and laughed. “Hey now big guy, don’t mean any offense. Just saying you’re lucky to get to work with that every day.”

Kugo jerked his head in an abbreviated nod. You slowed down your quick walk as you got closer, not wanting to interrupt the heroes’s conversation. Kugo waved you closer. You smiled at him so brightly as you joined the group. Yes. He was lucky to work with a friend such as you. Kugo’s nerves started to cool a bit as he introduced you and the three of you began to make your way to his office. Hawk’s casual questions were more inquisitive than flirty, and Kugo knew from long experience just how much you enjoyed being able to talk in depth about your work. He was smiling by the time he opened the door to his office, ushering the two or you in. Hawk’s next words hit him like a bucket of cold water to the face.

“Dang! Either you got one hell of a cafeteria service at this agency, or Gang Orca has himself quite an admirer. Delivered right to your desk, pretty bold, man! That’s exactly why I keep my door locked. There’s only so much lunch a man can eat, am I right?”

The bento. He had forgotten about the stupid bento. There it sat, as always. The handkerchief was especially cute today, some sort of pattern with teddy bears hugging and kissing. Any other day, the sight would have calmed him. Any other day he would have sat down and quickly poked through to see what surprises lay inside that day, would have read the note meant just for him with a smile.

But today was different. Others were in his office. The number two hero, handsome and popular. His support engineer, pretty enough to probably have plenty of suitors of her own. And then there was him. Large. Scary. Consistently told he looks like a villain. Has never had a relationship that wasn’t pitying or profiteering. Kugo remembered the whispered remarks from the party. Usually he’d be able to brush off Hawks’s commentary. But today…

Kugo snarled, his scent agitated as he swept his arm across the desk, knocking the bento roughly into the trash. “They are a nuisance that need to cease! I’m so tired of some desperate piting omega shoving their unwanted, unneeded efforts at me! Enough is enough!” At the end his voice was raised to a shout. He was dimly aware of his nails digging deeply into his palms. Kugo leaned on the desk, breathing deeply as he tried to calm himself. He could hear the others shuffling behind him awkwardly.

“Come on,” You murmured and lightly tugged on Keigo’s sleeve. “How about I show you my lab and take some measurements before we get started.”

“Yeah. Um. Yeah.” Keigo allowed you to lead him away. You softly closed the door behind you. Kugo remained, hunched and breathing raggedly. It took him several minutes to calm down. It took him a few minutes beyond that to gather the nerve to make the trek down to the support lab. He slipped into the room as inconspicously as a man with his fram could manage. You were taking measurements off of Keigo and muttering to yourself as you tapped out notes on your tablet. Keigo noticed Kugo’s entrance and greeted him cautiously. “You good?” Kugo nodded. “I… apologize. It’s been a rather trying week, but I should have composed myself better.”

Keigo waved him off. “No worries, man, no worries. Y/n was just telling me she thinks that she’ll be able to rig up something for me that would help slow my fall in situations where my wings get damaged.”

You hummed an affirmative, taking a few more measurements before you started describing your process. Kugo couldn’t help but notice you didn’t look his way. You looked at the ground, at your tablet, at Keigo, but you were clearly avoiding Kugo’s gaze. He mentally winced as he settled onto an out of the way stool. It was rare for him to have that kind of emotional outburst. It probably could be heard even from outside his office. He’d make sure to apologize to you better when he got the chance. But for now, it was looking like it would be a long, awkward day. Goodie.

~~~~~

Kugo growled under his breath the next morning when he saw the cloth wrapped bundle sitting on his desk. Yesterday’s embarrassment was still fresh in his mind as he stalked forward. His thick fingers quickly untied the surprisingly unpatterned piece of fabric. There, under the cloth, on top of the box, was a note as there always was. Kugo’s anger was cooled by confusion when he saw it, however. The paper was a plain yellow post-it note. Instead of the painstakingly cute handwriting with the heart dotted “i’s, there was a clearly hasty scrawl.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to annoy you. This will be the last one.”

Kugo frowned, shifting in his seat. Clearly the bento maker had heard about his outburst from yesterday. That was… unfortunate. But perhaps for the best, since he had no way of directly telling them to cease their nonsense. Unconsciously, his hand balled up the handkerchief and as he had been doing for a while, he scented it.

The cloth had a slight smell of salt to it. Tears, Kugo realized uncomfortably. The smell of tears slightly diluted the normal soothing smell of whoever had carefully packaged these bentos. He had little appetite as he looked over what was there. Tempura. Salmon. Vegetables. A large portion of tamagoyaki. But the part that caused an uncomfortable weight to settle in his chest was the little red box, filled with slightly clumsy, clearly homemade chocolates. Kugo closed his eyes, sighing as he set the box to the side to wait for lunch. This was good. This was what he wanted, to be left alone instead of some kind hearted omega taking pity on him. He had lived a long time without homemade bentos and little notes. He certainly didn’t want the small offering of chocolates. When lunchtime came, he certainly didn’t linger over the food longer than usual, savoring each bite. He tried to tell himself that this was for the best. That this was what he wanted. He refused to think about why he tucked the handkerchief and the box of chocolates into his desk drawer instead of leaving them in the break room as usual.

The next day as Kugo opened his office door, he looked toward his desk out of habit; searching for the lunch that had been left. His chest gave an uncomfortable lurch when he found the desk was bare. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. This was fine. This was what he wanted. The sooner he forgot about all this nonsense, the sooner things would return to normal. He settled into his chair and began sifting through the paperwork he had to deal with. No better way to take his mind off his troubling thoughts and distract the whine of his inner alpha. He was certain. Things would be back to normal soon.

Two weeks later, Kugo listlessly picked at the limp lettuce of the poor excuse of a salad that he had picked up at a convenience store. He sighed, putting the lid back on the barely touched meal resolving to throw it away when he next passed a garbage can. He didn’t like to admit it, but he missed the carefully planned meals. Wondering what cute surprise was going to be next. It was nice that someone thought he might enjoy seeing animal shaped onigiri and cheesecake flavored kit kats. His alpha whimpered when he thought about the contented omega scent that gently perfumed every handkerchief, except the last. But just as the note had said, he had received nothing since that last bento. His thoughts remained gloomy as he entered the agency, quickly making his way into his office, locking the door behind him. He knew better than to hope as he looked towards his desk. Bare, once again. Sighing heavily, he slumped into his chair. He gently pulled open the bottom drawer of his desk. Carefully nestled into it was the cleaned, empty bento box from the last meal, the small box of dwindling homemade chocolates, and that last precious handkerchief.

Kugo carefully removed the handkerchief. He brought the cloth to his nose, inhaling deeply. Stabbing pain shot through him as he realized the scent was barely there anymore. The faint scent of tears almost completely overpowering the last lingering trace of distressed omega. His hands clutched the fabric tightly, squeezing until he realized the stress he was putting on the fabric. He quickly placed it on the desk and tried in vain to smooth out the wrinkles. After a minute of fussing, he gently refolded it and placed it back in the drawer. Kugo stared at the contents, unblinking before slowly sliding the drawer closed. It was almost gone. Everything was almost gone. And he didn’t know how to get it back.

With a low growl, Kugo pushed himself up. Today was a rare day where he hoped for trouble on his patrol. A fight would certainly take his mind off things, and just maybe calm the whining alpha that echoed throughout his entire being.

~~~~

He really needed to be careful what he wished for. Kugo winced as he limped toward the support lab. He had gotten a fight alright. He had gotten three fights, a twisted ankle, and a once again smashed communication headset. It wasn’t his fault that he had gotten thrown backwards into a rather solid concrete wall. Y/N was going to kill him.

Kugo pushed the lab door open, stepping inside. His forehead creased in worry. The lab felt off. Wrong in a way he couldn’t immediately place a finger finger on. Well, he’d have to think about it later, he decided as he made his way to where you were sitting. You were at your workbench, tapping your pen on the table and staring at nothing when he settled down on the stool next to you. You glanced over as Kugo sat down, did a double take and let out a small noise of surprise.

“Sakamata! What happened to you?”

The large man shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “The usual. Villain didn’t behave exactly how I thought, and I paid for not being vigilant enough. Nothing too bad. Twisted ankle and roughed up a little. Unfortunately though…”

Sheepishly as a scolded schoolboy, Kugo pulled the shattered remains of his latest communicator out of his pocket and placed them on the workbench.

“Kugo!”

He couldn’t help but smile. He loved the times when you got worked up enough to call him by his first name. He watched as you gingerly sifted through the sad shattered remains.

“What did you do, hit it with a rock?!”

“Concrete wall, actually.”

You stilled before turning to look at Kugo, sharp and suspicious. “And I assume you were wearing it at the time?”

Kugo had the decency to look embarrassed as he nodded. Suddenly he was being fussed over, gentle hands touching his face and turning his head this way and that. An exclamation and curse left you when you found a large, sluggishly bleeding gash on the back of Kugo’s head.

“You! You Alpha!” You huffed as you started digging through the pockets of your lab coat. Kugo got a brief glimpse of colored fabric before the handkerchief was softly dabbing at his wound. Kugo hissed, only half listening as the scolding continued about how knot headed alphas needed to learn to go to the medical ward first before worrying about stupid replacable tech. He was brought back to the present when a hand, so much smaller than his own, grabbed his hand. You easily maneuvered him so that Kugo was now firmly holding the handkerchief over the cut. You hummed, satisfied for now.

“Now Sakamata, please hold that there until you can get medical to look at it. Doubt a hard headed man like you has a concussion, but might need stitches. I’m not exactly an expert. Don’t worry about the headset. I should be able to get a new one to you before my replacement takes over. And if not, I’ll be leaving some blueprints behind anyway.”

What?

“Replacement?”

You stilled, looking away from him. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I just… I never found the right time to tell you.” You fidgeted, rubbing your thumb over your knuckles. “I’m going to be going to America soon. I’ve gotten a good offer to work with a few heroes over there that need someone specialized in mutation supports. It would do a lot to boost my career…”

Kugo reached out, grabbing your hand, and stopping your nervous motions. He tried to find words in his stalling brain. “This is really sudden, Y/N.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” You wouldn’t meet his gaze.

He gently shook his head, giving your hand a squeeze. “Not scolding you. Just, is everything alright? Is something going on?”

You pulled away, digging your hands into your hair with a sigh. “You know me too well.”

Kugo gave half a smile. “I would hope so. I like to think we’re friends. Is there anything I can do? Are you in trouble in some way?”

You shook your head. “No. No, nothing like that. It’s kind of embarrassing. Just… A courtship that really didn’t turn out well. And I just… I could really use some time away to get my head back on straight. Eagle Pride’s office has mentioned wanting me to go over and collaborate with them for a while, and what better time than now?” Your laugh sounded bitter.

Kugo sat silent and stunned. He hadn’t known you were courting. Being courted? Honestly, he wasn’t even sure of your dynamic. If you weren’t beta, then you certainly hid your scent well. He cleared his throat before speaking hesitantly.

“I certainly won’t stop you if you truly wish to go. It is an excellent opportunity. Might be a step in having your own support company if you wish. And if not, you’re always welcome here, Y/n. You must know that.”

You give a small smile, finally looking him in the eye. His chest tightened when he saw tears there. “I know, Kugo. You’ve been nothing but kind to me. You’re a good friend for putting up with me.”

“There’s no putting up with. I enjoy your company, always.” Kugo reached out slowly, but you turned away and wiped your eyes with your sleeve. He frowned, placing his hand back in his lap. “And you sure you’re alright, Y/N? No one is threatening you, are they? Someone unsafe taken an interest in you?”

You snorted, “Nothing like that. And people think I’m the dramatic one. No. I just got rejected is all. I miscalculated. Thought they were interested, but they made it very clear they aren’t.”

“Then they’re an idiot.” The words escaped Kugo before he even realized what he was going to say. But it was true, he was sure. You were beautiful, kind, smart. Anyone would be beyond lucky to hold your interest. On the rare days he allowed himself to dream, he often thought he’d love to have someone like you as a mate. Someone who knew him well and cared for him as much as he cared for them. He felt pains in his chest and his eyes widened as realization hit him in the face like a wet mackerel. Oh. He was jealous. He was jealous of whoever it was that y/n had tried to court. And he was angry. Furious that some fool had rejected her. Hurt her. But he was glad she was still here. Yet she was going to leave. Going to leave him here alone. His thoughts swirled and tumbled, and he swayed slightly in his seat. And hand on his shoulder stilled him and he looked up into your concerned eyes.

“Hey, you’re not looking too good. You really should get to medical. Do you need me to help you?”

“No. No. I can make it down a few hallways, thank you though.”

Kugo stood, and tried to give back the cloth he had been pressing to his head. You pushed it back, gently scolding him. “I said leave it there until someone can look at it. If you insist on returning a silly old rag, you can wash it and give it back later.”

Kugo nodded and mumbled out a goodbye. He had a lot to think about as he slowly made his way to medical. So. He liked you. The more he thought about it, the clearer it seemed to him. He’d liked you for a while. Things were always easy with you. But now, you’re leaving. He couldn’t stop you, and wouldn’t even if he could. You clearly felt like you needed to go.

He was still ruminating on his thoughts as the doctor ushered him to a bed. He was poked and prodded. Kugo managed to mumble out what must have been coherent answers. In the end, he did end up needing a few stitches. And just like that, he found himself fixed up and back in his office. He snorted a laugh at the absurdity. How can a day like this somehow manage to be just another day? Kugo sat in his chair and twisted the cloth in his hands absently. He brought it to his nose and sniffed out of habit. Oh course, the scent of his own blood was the most dominant. But underneath that was the usual calming scent of omega. His shoulders relaxed as the tension ran out of him. He pulled that cloth away, idly looking at the pattern. It was cute. Floral. Reminded him of the cloth that the first bento had been…

Wait.

Wait.

He hastily brought the handkerchief to his nose again. There was no mistaking it. He knew that smell. He had missed that smell for weeks. It was faint. But it absolutely was there. Omega, soft and sweet. Not any omega. His omega. His bento maker. His y/n.

Y/n.

Y/n who had seen him toss her courting gift in the trash, who thought he had completely rejected her, and who was moving to America.

Kugo was on his feet in an instant. He’d never made the trip to the support lab that quickly before. You jumped when the door flew open, hitting so harshly that the doorknob dented the wall.

“Sakamata! What?”

He dropped to his knees before you, arms wrapped tight around your waist and his head pressing against your stomach.

“Kugo?” You asked softly, hesitantly stroking along his fin. “Kugo, what’s wrong?”

“You’re the best thing life has ever given me. Please don’t leave. Please.”

You made a soft, wounded sound. You kneeled slowly, and took his face in your hands. Kugo leaned into your touch like a man who had been starved of affection his whole life. You stroked your thumbs over his cheeks.

“Kugo, I’m going to need you to speak plainly, so I’m sure I don’t misunderstand. What’s going on?”

His large hands came up, taking both your hands in his.

“I’m an idiot.”

You snorted and tilted your head, confused. He met your gaze as he continued.

“I’m an idiot and I love you.”

You inhaled sharply, looking at him in disbelief. He pulled the crumpled, bloodstained handkerchief from his pocket.

“I’m an idiot because I love you and yet I never even noticed that you loved me too. You showed me every day. You knew I like eggs just as much as fish. You cared enough to make them cute. You gave me extra sweets on days when I was working a double shift. I loved every bento you made me. I have every note saved. And I might be an idiot, but I’d be an even bigger idiot if I let you go without saying something. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, and I love you and please don’t go.”

“Kugo.” You smiled sadly. “I’m sorry. I already promised I’d go.”

Kugo inhaled a shaky breath, his eyes lowering to the floor.

“But,” you used your hands to lift his chin. His gaze snapped back to yours. “It’s just for six months. Six months, and then I’ll be right back here. With you.”

“With me?”

“Mmhmm.” You gave his nose a quick peck. “Always. You’re the best man I know. I don’t think there’s anyone else in the world for me.”

Kugo groaned and pulled you close, burying his face in your neck. From here, although it was very faint, he could smell your soothing scent. “You can’t say things like that and then tell me I can’t have you here for six months!”

You chuckled as you hugged him close. “Well, we have two weeks before I leave. We have a little time. And once I’m back? We’ll have all the time in the world.”

“Even that won’t be enough time to spend with you.”

“Dork.”

He hummed his agreement. “But it’s true. Eternity would be enough time to spend with you.” Before you could protest, he pulled you in for a gentle, but determined kiss.

[cupofteaguk]

on the road (to you)

summary: as a young adult, one of the strangest revelations is the discovery that peers of yours from past fragile college years are getting married. so imagine your shock and excitement upon receiving a wedding invitation. there are, however, two problems: (1) you are a poor early-20s recently employed adult just beginning to adjust to your 401k plan, and (2) the only available ride to the wedding comes in the form of Jeon Jungkook—friend of a friend, attendee to that aforementioned wedding, and your old college crush. 

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: roadtrip au, strangers to lovers au | fluff/angst 

warnings: recreational alcoholic consumption, definitely not an accurate representation of how a road trip might actually be, mentions of anxiety + insecurities, very minor book reference to: The Night Circus, equally minor movie references to: Mission Impossible and The Princess Bride because I have a problem, light makeout sessions, talks of DTR (define the relationship), some angst but this is me so there’s a happy ending. 

word count: 27k 

a/n: a birthday present for the one and only Jeon Jungkook, whom I love and respect so much and only wish the bestest of days for. Partly inspired by Taylor Swift’s song “invisible string” +  a love letter of sorts to my own old high school crush for whom my memory of him helped build Jungkook’s character. This also turned out way longer than I ever wanted it to be lol oops! 

update: i was actually able to do a writer’s audio tag on this fic!!! check it out if you want to hear about the behind the scenes process that went into writing this fic <3 

.

When you land a job in the months following your college graduation, you feel as if you are on top of the world. How could you not? After all, the norm that follows post-college is one of disappointment and constant hunts online to find job openings for any position that could suit your background and previous work experiences. It’s a fear that plagues lots of your friends, both those in college and out. It’s the same paranoia you had in the months leading up to graduation and the few months after graduation—in which your days were measured by the boxes you packed to move out of your tiny college apartment and into an equally tiny new apartment you currently share with an old roommate of yours, as well as the days you spent hunched over your computer and scrolling through job postings. 

You had gone through more than a handful of cover letters, resume submissions, and in person interviews before finally landing the job you currently have and have been working under for a month now. 

Throughout the course of the recent month, you’ve continued to secure certain moments that solidify the confidence that you’re finally becoming an adult. Sure, a barely functioning adult who mostly still uses the microwave to heat up your frozen Mac and Cheese—but an adult nonetheless. From learning how to pay your bills online, to realizing that grocery shopping was something you needed to make a conscious effort to do, along with going to and from your nine to five job with your coffee order in hand. 

All of those things have helped you feel like you were, perhaps, finally getting your life together. 

And then you receive the invitation in the mailbox. 

It happens when you unlock your box on a bright March morning, taking out the usual round of bills and fashion magazines until your fingers lock around an envelope bigger than the normal letter size. It’s much sturdier too. 

You don’t know what to think of the letter, until you bring the damn thing back into your apartment and rip the opening. The mere sight of the content inside makes you feel like the hand of life has just taken your figurine and moved you back a good twenty squares. 

The post in your hand reads: 

WITH GREAT JOY, IRENE AND SEOKJIN REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR PRESENCE FOR THEIR WEDDING CELEBRATION ON THE DAY OF MAY 25TH. COCKTAILS, DINNER, AND DANCING TO FOLLOW. 

There’s a date at the bottom of the invitation. As you line the date up with your calendar, you realize that you have a week to RSVP to the event. 

You toss the envelope onto the counter in the kitchen just to glare at the cardstock, maybe to convince yourself this is a dream or at least convince yourself that it’s normal for your friend from college to be getting married even when you have yet to land a successful relationship of your own. 

You aren’t as close with Irene as you used to be, but the memory of your friendship is still at the forefront of your mind. The pair of you met during your final year of university, when you were assigned to work together for one of your many senior projects and immediately clicked. The months you spent in her apartment and vice versa pulling out all-nighters in desperate attempts to finish your project definitely earns you an invitation. At the very least, you are happy to see that Irene: bright and smart and funny, is getting married. 

Not only that, but getting married to Seokjin. He’s a year older than you and Irene, but those two met when he was still enrolled and have been inseparable ever since. You don’t know relationships that well, but you know them enough to recognize that Seokjin and Irene were what everyone called the ‘endgame’. In truth, it was only a matter of time before you were to receive one of these from them. 

But did she really have to one-up you like this? Not that it’s a competition. However, it does leave a funny feeling to see someone the same age as you display a much more put together handle on life. You groan at the thought.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Karly asks. 

You turn to your roommate. She’s seated at the kitchen table, books out and everywhere as she looks over at you. Karly: fellow alumni, graduated from her undergrad program early to go straight into pursuing her master’s degree. She’s a busy bee. You wave the envelope. “Irene is getting married.” 

Her eyes widen. “Ah shit, no way?” She takes the paper that you offer to her and looks over the invitation. “Damn, I knew it was only a matter of time before we started getting this stuff, but to actually see it happening…” 

You groan. “I know right!” You take the cardstock back from your friend. “It’s only been six months since we graduated, how could she be getting married already?” 

“Well, Irene did have a job lined up for her right after graduation,” Karly points out thoughtfully. She sees the look of bewilderment you give her. “What? It was on her Instagram.” 

You pout. “Of course Irene would have a job lined up like that.” You run a hand through your hair. “I mean, that’s good for her. Really good, actually…” 

Karly jerks her chin towards the envelope still in your hand. “So, are you planning to go?” 

“I don’t know, do you have plans that day?” You wave the paper. “I’m allowed a plus one.” 

Your roommate cracks a smile. “Are you asking me out? A little forward of you, we’ve been friends for so long…” 

You whine, shaking the paper and little more frantically. “Karly, this is important! I don’t want to go alone, I won’t know anyone!” 

She laughs. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. What was the date again?” 

You provide the date to her. You approach Karly’s place at the kitchen table and watch as she opens the calendar on her laptop. Immediately, you are overwhelmed by all the deadlines she’s got under practicality every date on the screen. Yet, a “wow” is the only thing you can say at the sight. 

Karly smiles, sparing you a glance over her shoulder. “One of the joys of being a grad student slash T.A. slash research assistant.” She scrolls down into May, and narrows her eyes upon May 25th. Underneath the date is an event—color coated to bright orange and typed out in all caps. CONFERENCE WITH PROFESSOR WONG. “Oh crap, I have a conference that day.” 

“No…” You whine some more, trailing off as you grab Karly by the shoulders and begin shaking. “Karly! You’ve left me out for the bears! What am I supposed to do?” 

Karly laughs as she lets herself be manhandled in this way. “I don’t know! Go and deepen your social life or something.” 

You stop shaking her and glare instead. “Is that a joke?” 

“What do you expect me to say?” She retorts, appalled by your answer. “Then don’t go.” 

You whine again. “But this is Irene, and I’ll feel bad for not going and congratulating her!” 

“Then go!” 

“But I don’t have a plus one!” 

Karly places her hands at her temples. “Oh my god, this is like the circle of stupidity with you. Then find a plus one! Or just don’t go!” She whirls around to face you. “I will help you find a dress if you decide to go. I will also sit with you on the couch and eat popcorn with you if you decide not to go.” 

You continue to pout, knowing that you deserve that gentle attempt at a lecture but still not liking the reason why you needed such a talking to. 

“Fine,” You eventually decide to say, sliding into the seat next to Karly and leaning forward to plant your entire upper body on the table. 

Karly laughs at your defeated posture. “Well, you have the rest of the week to make your decision.” 

She has a point. That doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

.

For the rest of the week the decision of whether or not you should attend the wedding becomes a weight in your mind. You spend the next few days pondering it, thinking over the pros and the cons. 

As overdramatic as it is, you think about it during work, when you’re partaking in your home workout routines, and even when you’re about to fall asleep. You do want to go, you really do. It’ll be the first time you attend a wedding that didn’t involve a relative, which feels like a big deal in your adult agenda mindset. And Irene is someone you wouldn’t mind spending an evening with to catch up. 

However, you wouldn’t get to spend the evening with Irene—after all, a wedding implies that she would likely be mingling with all of her guests and you would just be another attendee forced to find other means of entertainment. That’s where the plus one comes in handy. Except you don’t have a plus one. A slight problem. 

You sigh. Work is a little slow today, as you are also experiencing the afternoon slump in which your mind drifts away more often than usual. You find yourself with a small laundry list of tasks (such as emailing companies, working on drafts for releases, and trying to set up different appointments) but without the motivation to do those things right away. Because of that, your afternoon slump takes the form of opening airline services to find information and prices about flying to Irene’s wedding. It’s in her hometown, about a five hour flight time from here to there. 

You click on the various boxes that require information, finally allowing a search. As the search goes through, your eyes take in all the prices—both the amount to get there and to get back—and your lips part slightly at the totaling numbers. 

“Five hundred dollars?” You mutter to yourself. You’re not sure how this would work with budgeting, but you’re still trying to figure out how to balance the cost of AC, the internet, and how to eat appropriate meals at least once a day. You don’t have five hundred dollars to spend on an airplane ticket. A slightly bigger problem. 

You sigh again, resting your elbow on the desk and your chin in the palm as your eyes continue to scroll through the website. 

Behind you, fingers curl around the top of your cubicle. There is a silence between the two of you: him, merely observing, and you, completely oblivious, until he clears his throat. 

You jump, having not expected to be interrupted like this. A squeak leaves the back of your throat as you whirl around to see who is visiting you. “Jimin!” You exclaim, taking in the boy now perched along the wall of your cubicle. This is before you narrow your eyes. “Asshole, you scared me!” 

If you just started working here and learned that you’d be cursing out Park Jimin for startling you, that past version of yourself might have turned red, shocked, and nervous at the thought. A month ago, Jimin was that coworker—as friendly as friendly people come by. With his pretty eyes, perfectly soft pink lips, and freshly dyed brown hair, you had been immediately taken by his charm and helpful nature. 

Then the month went by, and you realized there were no romantic intentions on either end. Jimin then became your first friend in your new job. Albeit, he’s a nosy friend who enjoys asking questions and dragging you out to nearby bars and coming over occasionally with take-out, but a friend nonetheless. 

“Sorry!” Jimin says back, then he glares at you. “What are you doing over here anyways?” 

You shake your head. “What do you mean?” 

“What do you mean what do I mean? You’ve been sighing all afternoon.” Jimin pulls out a slip of paper from behind his back. “Fifty times in the last hour, I swear to god.” 

You straighten out of your seat to get a better look at the paper, unamused to find fifty tally marks across the surface. “You’re lying, there’s no way that I sighed fifty times in an hour.” 

“Of course you wouldn’t know, you’re the one doing all the sighing!” Jimin retorts, lowering his hand with the paper. “Is something up with you? Did something happen?” His eyes flicker to the monitor screen behind you and he frowns. “What the fuck? Are you moving away already?” 

You blink. “What?” 

He jerks his chin towards the computer. “You’re looking at flight prices.” 

“Huh?” You turn around, having completely forgotten about your previous predicament in light of discovering that Jimin counts your sighs. “Oh! No…” 

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “No, you’re not looking at flight prices?” 

You slide back into your chair, a silent invitation for Jimin to step further into your cubicle. You sigh again, and he holds the paper back up. Taking a pencil out of his pocket, he makes another mark. You look over at him upon hearing the pencil scratch and scowl. “Give me that!” You grab the paper from his hand. “I’m dealing with a crisis right now, don’t count my sighs!”

“Alright! Alright!” Jimin slides behind you and leans forward to get a better look at your computer screen. “So where are you moving to this time?” 

You press your lips together. “I’m not moving away. A friend of mine from college is getting married. I’m just trying to see how expensive it would be to fly over there.” 

He whistles at the five hundred dollar price in your cart. “That’s pretty expensive.” 

“I know!” You groan, throwing yourself further back into your chair. “I wouldn’t mind going, but I don’t have a plus one. And as you can see, flying there would be a challenge on my wallet.” 

Jimin hums at that. “Well, regarding your plus one problem, I wouldn’t mind going with you.” 

You turn to look at him. “Really? You’d go across the country and endure an entire evening with your coworker and her old college classmates?” 

He shrugs. “If you’re desperate, I’ll keep my offer around.” He actually pouts this time. “Are you implying that you see me more as a coworker than a friend? After all the times we’ve hung out outside of work!” 

Your eyes widen slightly, having not thought of that. “No, no, Jimin, I mean—yes, I do see you as a friend now but we met as coworkers so I just think of you as a coworker first—!” You’re rambling. 

Jimin interrupts by patting your shoulder, the corner of his lips quirked up into a smile. “I’m just messing with you.” 

You shake your head again. “Asshole,” You grumble, returning your attention back to your computer. 

Jimin is still mid-laughter behind you. “Anyways, yeah, like I said. If you’re desperate to go, I wouldn’t mind going with you. But deciding how to get there is a different question entirely.” 

You turn to glare at your friend for a moment. “I’ll let you know.” 

He nods, before his lips part and he’s snapping his fingers. “Oh yeah! I wanted to ask you something.” 

He backs up, allowing you enough space to turn around fully and face him. “Okay, what’s up?” 

Jimin grins, lifting his leg up to nudge your chair slightly. “I’m going out tonight—you should come with.” 

You don’t even give this a second thought. Your lips turn into a downwards curl as you shake your head. “Nope.” 

Jimin looks appalled. “Why not? Didn’t you have fun the last time we went out?” 

“If ‘fun’ to you is trying to drag your drunk ass home and staying the night to make sure you wouldn’t choke on your vomit…” You grumble, trying not to shudder at the memory. It has only been a few days since that ‘fun’ time. 

“I told you that sometimes I overestimate my abilities, and I already apologized for that,” Jimin points out, although he does have the decency to look guilty for that mess. He perks up again. “But this’ll be different, I promise. I’m meeting up with some friends and we’re just gonna catch up. It’s at one of the quieter bars uptown: no loud DJ, no bright lights, no bottomless rum and coke. Promise. It’ll just be a lot of socializing.” He watches you hesitantly. Socializing has never been your strong suit. “And finger food.” 

The mention of food does make you look up towards him—your first sign of interest towards something. However, another thought weighs you down. “Are you sure you even want me to go?” You ask after a moment. “I mean, this is a catch up with friends. Wouldn’t I be intruding?” 

“Not at all!” Jimin brushes off, waving away your concern with his hand. “I told you, it’s a socializing thing. Besides, my friends are always bringing someone along. They were asking me when I’d have a friend tag along, so I thought you’d be a good selection.” He notices you still frowning. “C’mon! It’ll be fun. When I’m not vomiting over your shoes, I’m good company. And I promise I won’t be vomiting this time.” 

You stare at Jimin for a moment longer, contemplating his words. This is very true. Jimin is an ideal friend to have during social gatherings—he’s good at keeping a conversation going so you don’t have to shoulder the weight alone, he’s good at reading when you’re in a good mood and when you’re ready to go home, and he’s excellent at keeping unwanted attention away. You know this. Jimin knows that you know this. 

It takes one curl of your lips for Jimin to grin, knowing that he has convinced you. “Okay!” He says, finalizing the decision without having to hear the actual answer from you. He pats your knee. “We’ll take the subway after work, it’s just a few stops down.” 

If your mind conjures up any second thoughts, Jimin leaves before you are able to express them. 

.

True to Jimin’s word, the pair of you step into a subway heading westbound as soon as you’re finished with work. It’s much later in the day now, the afternoon sun has changed into a night sky with a chill spring breeze to match. The carts are filled with the evening crowd of adults, all done with another day of work and finding enjoyment for the rest of today by returning home or seeing friends. It’s a rarity that you would fall under that latter category, but the thought makes you excited nonetheless. 

“Alright, so you wanna tell me a little bit about these friends that I’m seeing tonight?” You ask, gripping the handlebar above you but leaning towards Jimin so he can hear what you’re saying over the noise of the subway speeding down the tracks. 

Jimin grins. “They’re just some friends I grew up with. We like to get together once a month to catch up and hang out, since everyone is so busy with their own lives.” 

You smile back. “That’s actually really sweet of you guys, to plan hangouts once a month.” 

He lightly flicks your forehead. “Hey, are you saying I’m normally not very sweet?” 

“Well, not right now!” You protest, hand over your forehead. “That hurt.” 

“You’re being a baby!” Jimin retorts back. 

The pair of you continue to bicker like this until your stop is announced over the intercom. Jimin halts the further insults being thrown at each other as he gestures towards the approaching station, as seen through the window of the subway. 

“This is our stop,” Jimin says to you, allowing you to step out onto the platform first. He joins behind you right after, leading the way as the subway’s three chimes signal the closing of the doors. There’s a breeze that follows, running through your hair and clothes as the subway zooms away to its next stop. The station itself is crowded, filled with groups of friends and individuals carrying on with the rest of their evening, overall looking so lively and you can feel yourself feeding off their energy. 

With a gesture pointing up the stairs that’ll take the pair of you to ground level, Jimin leads the way. You make your way through people, following Jimin’s guide until you’re both exiting the station and entering the world of your new stop. It’s another area of the city you work in, so the change in scenery isn’t too dramatic—but it’s a place more catered towards restaurants, shopping areas, and hang-out sections. The bright neon signs protrude out from the building, flashing the various products or services the specific building offered: from manicure care to corner ramen shops. 

“C’mon, let’s hurry!” Jimin calls back to you, picking his pace up slightly. He’s not running, but his long legs make it harder for you to keep up. “Everyone is already there.” 

The pair of you continue to pace down the sidewalk, past the crowds of people waiting to eat, people lingering outside of clothing stores. Finally, Jimin slows down near a restaurant. He looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re still behind him, before entering the establishment. He mentions something about knowing where their seats are, before continuing deeper into the restaurant. 

As you look around, the place does look like a restaurant slash bar—not as crazy as some of the bars Jimin takes you with the intention of actually getting drunk, but there’s still a bar here and there’s still alcohol being shared heavily. It’s the same demographic of early 20s, young adults with friends, but there are actual tables and chairs and booths set up like a restaurant. So you suppose Jimin hadn’t been lying to you about this. 

“There they are!” Jimin says to you, as you look up and follow Jimin’s finger to the table in the far corner that is completely filled with the exception of two seats. You vaguely make out the back of some heads, most belonging to boys, before your eyes land on one of the boys facing you and Jimin. He’s sitting at the far end of the table, currently laughing brightly at something one of the boys at the table has said. For all intents and purposes, the boy is cute. Extremely cute. When he laughs, his eyes and nose crinkle and his lips spread into a wild smile—and brings out the dimple on his cheek. He looks like the embodiment of all your ideal types mashed into a singular being. 

All of those things. Yet, that is not the reason why you are staring. None of those things come close to why you stop dead in your tracks, why your heart drops in your chest, why your eyes widen. Even with the shitty lighting in this restaurant, you are one hundred percent positive. “Jimin!” You manage to choke out, having enough well power to grab onto his hand seconds before he is able to make himself and yourself known to his friends. 

He whirls around, wide-eyed and curious and worried. “What? Is everything okay?” 

You shake your head. The room feels too small. “I think there’s something I should tell you—!” 

“Hey, is that Jimin? Jimin!” Your voice is very easily drowned out by the sound of another, much louder voice that seems to boom through the restaurant. 

Jimin turns back around in time to face one of the boys from the table who has gotten out of his seat. You are able to see him from over Jimin’s shoulder—a tall boy with messy unkempt hair and a boxy smile. Jimin greets him with a “Taehyung!” before the boys embrace. “Taehyungie,” Jimin continues afterwards, turning around so both are able to face you. “This is Y/N, she’s a coworker of mine.” 

Taehyung grins, a friendly gesture that makes you relax. But only slightly. “Y/N! It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a bit about you from Jimin. All good things, I promise.” 

“W-Well, that’s good to hear,” You manage shakily, eyes nervously darting to the boy at the end of the table, who has stopped his conversation and is now looking at you and Jimin. 

“Let me introduce you,” Jimin says, breaking your concentration as he rests a hand on your shoulder. He points right at the boy at the end of the table, who is still staring at you. His eyebrows are furrowed together. You want to bury yourself alive. “That one over there is—!” 

A lightbulb seems to go off in the boy’s head. His face breaks out into a smile as he points at you. “Hey, Y/N!” 

Jimin looks taken aback at the fact you are being recognized by someone at the table. His hand lowers as he looks over at you. 

You, however, cannot focus on Jimin. You can only focus on the boy at the end of the table, the boy currently smiling over at you with all the light in his eyes, the boy who makes the memories flash through your mind. From that, the best you can manage is a tiny smile. “Jungkook!” 

Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Where do you even begin with him? 

You met Jungkook during your second year of university. He had been an arts major (you were not) and yet, your paths crossed multiple times throughout the quarter as a result of sharing many general education classes together. You even were forced to pair up on a project for one of those aforementioned G.E. classes. Neither of you ran in the same social circle, but that didn’t change how sweet, funny, charming, endearing, easy-going, friendly, smart, and nice Jungkook was. It was very easy for him to make friends, very easy for him to go out of his way to say hi to you in the library or in class or in the cafeteria, and very easy for him to strike up a basic conversation with you. 

Because of that, it was very easy for you to fall for him—to develop a deep-rooted crush that went on for the rest of your university experience. You would use the term ‘friends’ very loosely when describing what your relationship with Jungkook had been. You had never hung out with him outside the context of school, never went out to eat with him, and never saw him again after graduation. Until now. 

Actually, ‘acquaintances’ would probably be a much more fitting term. 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you since graduation!” Jungkook is saying as he stands up from his chair and approaches you. As if on autopilot, you return the one armed hug he gives you. His smile, while still pleasant, holds a surprising tinge of shyness to it. 

“Woah, hold on a second,” Jimin interrupts, immediately pointing between Jungkook and you. “You guys know each other?” 

“Y/N and I went to university together!” Jungkook provides. 

Jimin looks like his eyes are about to fall out of his sockets. 

“We’ve known each other since second year,” Jungkook continues. He looks over at you. “I didn’t know you know Jimin.” 

“Uh…” You forget how to speak. You’re too busy looking at Jungkook as if you haven’t seen him for years. In a way, it feels like that. Seeing people from college outside of college after a graduation ceremony is like meeting them again for the first time—most of them develop a more independent look. Some look like their life is seconds from falling apart. Some look much happier without the institutional pressure to secure classes and grades and internships. Sadly for you, Jungkook falls under the latter category. Did he always have that twinkle of starlight in his eyes? 

“Y/N and I work together,” Jimin provides, seeming to realize that you weren’t going to answer Jungkook’s question. “She started working about a month ago.” 

“Oh, that’s cool,” Jungkook replies, still looking at you. It is then he seems to notice that the three of you are standing in the middle of the restaurant. Although you are not distracting any patrons, the workers probably don’t appreciate it. “How about we sit down? We’ll be able to catch up more!” 

Jimin seems to regain control of the situation quicker than you do, because he nods at Jungkook. “Let me introduce her to everyone, then we’ll join you.” You look over to where Jungkook had been sitting and immediately notice the previously empty two chairs right across from him—like fate, or something terrible like that. 

So you watch as Jungkook makes his way back to his seat, and Jimin starts to guide you around the table. He only drops a name. Surprisingly, he doesn’t linger, he merely takes you to the next person. It only takes you a second to figure out why. 

“You didn’t tell me you know Jungkook,” Jimin hisses in between the time it takes to travel in between people. 

“I didn’t know you knew Jungkook!” You hiss back. You smile and nod politely at the person Jimin introduces as Yoongi. “Seriously, you never mentioned him once!” 

Jimin only keeps his frustration for a moment before he’s introducing you to someone named Hoseok, a boy with a bright smile, the one who was making Jungkook laugh earlier. “Okay, fine,” He relents, the pair of you finally move to take your seats. “But what was that earlier?” 

“What was what?” 

“You were just staring at him! What, did you have a huge crush on him or something—?” Jimin accuses, but he stops. Just as the pair of you are about to sit down, Jimin parts his lips in realization. “Oh.” Then, he sends you an absolutely wicked grin. “Oh, okay.” 

Your eyes widen at him, murder in your eyes. “Jimin!” 

“So, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice cuts through your little biting banter with Jimin. 

You whirl around to face Jungkook, eyes completely devoid of murder and voice several pitches higher. “Hi, Jungkook!” 

He smiles, such a wonderful little thing that makes your heart flutter in your chest. “Hi.” 

Jimin ducks his head to hide the fact that he wants nothing more than to burst into fits of laughter. 

“So how have you been?” Jungkook starts up. “I haven’t seen you since graduation. Since you landed a job, you seem to be doing well.” 

“I am!” You manage, only continuing to try and keep a handle on your heart and managing well enough this time. “There were a few months of just scrolling through job postings and writing cover letter after cover letter though.” 

Jungkook laughs, another beautiful gesture that makes you mirror his smile. “I definitely feel that.” 

“Well, what about you? What have you been up to?” You ask. “I think I saw on your Instagram and you were traveling around for a little?” 

His eyes light up at that. “Oh yeah! I don’t know if you remember Kim Mingyu from school?” You do. “Well, he and a friend of his got into some freelancing and had to do some traveling around to work on some filming. He asked me to come along because I actually have some photography experience. So that was a thing I did for a few months.” 

You nod, smiling. “No way! That’s so cool.” 

You do relax after a few conversational exchanges with Jungkook. He’s just as relaxed and mellow, yet friendly and polite as ever, and it’s easy to make conversation with him as it always has been. Eventually, you join in on the larger conversations with the whole table—touching on topics from your university experiences to tales from your new job. A lot of your role, however, falls to listening. Jimin’s friends are rowdy, funny, and out-going. They invite you in like you have been in this group for years—and are able to provide context on older memories they are revisiting. 

Most of your evening, however, is engaging in conversation with Jungkook. Occasionally, Jimin will join in, but he does spend most of his time laughing along to something his other friends are saying. Since you and Jungkook have always been friendly with each other, long conversations aren’t out of the ordinary. You just never considered how well you and Jungkook got along, how easy it would be to transition from topic to topic. 

“I am really glad that Jimin invited you along,” Jungkook explains brightly after the pair of you are done laughing following Jungkook’s tale of another fuck-ups with Kim Mingyu. “Makes you realize how small the world is.” 

“Oh, you should have seen her moping around earlier today,” Jimin interjects, choosing now of all times to insert himself back into your conversation with Jungkook. “She was sighing all afternoon—so maybe we should thank her misery that I decided to invite her along tonight.” 

Jungkook turns to you, a sympathetic look across his face. “Did you have a bad day today?” 

You try for a laugh, waving away Jimin’s words. “Jimin’s just overreacting. Actually, I found out a friend of mine from college is getting married, so I was trying to figure out my plan…” You start, trailing off as you look at Jungkook. “Wait, you didn’t know Irene, did you?” 

“I did.” His eyes widen as his lips part in realization. “Oh my god, you were invited to Irene’s wedding too?” 

“I was!” You exclaim, unsure whether you should be excited or even more nervous at the prospect of potentially seeing Jungkook at the wedding event. “Holy shit, this makes it an even smaller world. How did you know Irene?” 

Jungkook is still mid-giggle at the pure coincidence of everything. “We both knew Mingyu! This is so crazy. Are you planning to go?” 

You shrug. Jimin chooses to interject once more. “That’s what Y/N over here was sighing all afternoon over.” 

You whine as you look at Jimin. “No need to sell me out! Listen, Jungkook.” You turn back to the boy opposite of you, who is still gazing at you. “I’m sure you understand my current predicament.” 

“Sure.” 

“You know how expensive flights can be.” 

“Of course.” 

You fold your arms over each other and rest them on the table. “So, are you planning to go to the wedding?” 

He nods. “Most likely, yeah. I actually knew that the wedding was going to be happening soon, since Mingyu told me about it as soon as Irene got the ring. I ran into the flight problem pretty quickly too, so I decided to just drive to the event.” 

Jimin whistles. “Drive across the country, huh, JK? That must be a four day trip, or something.” 

“It was coming out to be,” Jungkook acknowledges with a nod. “But it’s okay.” He’s grinning, looking excited at the prospect. “I’ve never done a cross country drive before, so it was actually kind of exciting to plan the route. There are a few places I want to stop by and visit. I’m sure it’ll be fun.” Then, Jungkook turns back to you. “If you decide that flying would be too expensive, then you’re more than welcome to come along. It’ll be nice to have some company and not spend four days by myself.” 

Entirely on instinct, you start to laugh. You think he’s joking—how could you not? This is probably one of the longest conversations you’ve ever had with Jungkook. Like you’ve mentioned before, you wouldn’t consider him a friend. Why would he seriously try to invite you on a road trip?  “Yeah, I’m not too sure—I’ve never done a cross country trip before…” 

The conversation shifts pretty quickly as soon as you reply back to Jungkook. Hoseok asks you a question that drags your attention away, simultaneously allowing you to forget about Jungkook’s request. 

The end of the dinner happens soon after, when the bill has been paid and you suspect the long line of people outside waiting for a table are waiting for your party to be done. So venmo exchanges and money debts go around until each member of the table starts standing up one by one to make their move to exit the restaurant. 

You and Jimin are one of the first to leave. Goodbyes are exchanged along with the polite ‘it was nice to meet you’ phrase thrown around. Jungkook is mid-conversation with Yoongi, but he still gives you a quick hug of parting before you and Jimin exit the restaurant. 

The pair of you only make it out a few steps before there is a familiar voice calling your name. “Hey, Y/N! Y/N, wait up!” You stop and turn around, surprised to see Jungkook dashing out of the restaurant. He rests himself for a moment before he’s straightening back up to look at you. 

You try for a smile. “Hey Jungkook, what’s up?” 

He takes in a few more deep breaths to calm himself—either from the dashing he just did or to steel himself for the next question, you don’t know. “It’s about me inviting you to drive up to Irene’s wedding—I just thought I’d let you know it was a serious invitation. Having the company would be nice, and you wouldn’t be a burden to me, seriously. Besides, it’ll be fun to spend some time together.” 

“O-Oh,” You stammer, wringing your hands together. “I’m not too sure… I still have to think about it.” 

“Of course, of course,” Jungkook dismisses good naturedly. “Just thought I’d let you know, so you know that you do have options.” 

Although the offer makes you nervous, you cannot dismiss Jungkook’s thoughtfulness. You give him a more relaxed smile. “I really appreciate that Jungkook, thank you.” 

He smiles at your smile. “No problem! Actually…” He digs around for the wallet in his pocket and produces a little card. “Here’s my business card—my cell phone number is on here so just text or call if you decide to join me. Or,” He presses his lips into a more bashful smile. “You can just text me whenever for whatever reason. I just thought I’d let you know that it was good to see you again.” 

You take the card slowly, unable to look away from Jungkook’s face. He looks so genuine and shy that it doesn’t help your own racing heart. “It was good to see you too, Jungkook…” You return, albeit a little breathlessly. 

He smiles again, dimples pressing in his cheek (and your heart). He turns to Jimin “Oh yeah, nice seeing you too Park.” 

“Hey.” Jimin hits him on the shoulder. “I’m your hyung, you should show me more respect!” 

“My bad, my bad.” Jungkook doesn’t apologize though. His gaze flickers to yours one more time, gaze looking strangely hopeful. “I’ll see you guys around.” He walks backwards a few paces before turning around and returning to the restaurant. Maybe to see his other friends. 

Either way, it doesn’t matter. You are still screaming internally regardless—as shown through your red cheeks, widened eyes, and singing heart. Jimin will certainly never let you live this moment down. 

. 

Now, you are screaming externally. You don’t even give a thought or an explanation. You simply walk into your apartment, nosedive for the couch, and start yelling into one of the throw pillows. 

There’s a rapid movement of footsteps coming from down the hallway almost immediately, one that grows gradually louder until the owner of the steps starts speaking. “Who the fuck is out there? I’ve played softball my entire life and therefore will not hesitate to drive this bat so far up your ass—oh, Y/N.” The voice lowers significantly, as does the threat level it emits into the air. “It’s just you.” 

You lift your face from the throw pillow, and immediately brush away at the hair that falls in your face. “What the fuck!” You croak, pushing yourself into a sitting position and pointing at the bat in Karly’s hands. “What are you doing threatening me with a bat? You’ve never played a game of softball in your life!” 

“Oh, this isn’t mine. It’s Soonyoung’s.” Soonyoung is Karly’s boyfriend from high school, who used to play baseball on the high school team. How Karly has her boyfriend’s baseball bat is a mystery, but it’s something you think you are better off not asking about. She places the bat down on the carpet next to the coffee table. “But I should be asking you the questions, you bitch! You scared the shit out of me!” 

You sigh, throwing your head to rest on the back of the couch. “Sorry, sorry. Had a crazy day.” 

Karly ponders this as she moves to take a seat next to you. “You seemed fine when you texted me about you getting drinks with Jimin. Did something happen during the dinner?” 

You straighten up again and grip Karly by the arm. “Okay, don’t scream.” 

“You mean like you did?” Karly retorts dryly. 

You shake her. “I’m serious!” When Karly doesn’t say anything, you take it as a sign to continue with your story. “I saw Jungkook.” 

Karly blinks, then grabs your arm right back. “Wait, Jeon Jungkook, as in the guy you’ve been crushing on since second year?” 

“Yes!” You whine, throwing yourself onto the couch all over again. 

“The one you had to work together on a project with and nearly cried even though you guys just had to submit a paper?” 

“Yes!” 

“The one who said hi to you in the library that one time and you tried to put your elbow on the table afterwards but you missed and hit your head instead?” 

You pause, scowling. “Okay, now you’re just being mean. Are you done?” 

Karly is laughing. “Oh my god. What are the chances of you seeing him now?” 

“There’s more,” You groan out. 

“Really? Honestly that yell could have been just for seeing him again and that would have made sense—!” 

You ignore her. “He’s friends with Jimin. He’s friends with Irene, too. He was invited to her wedding.” 

“Wait, Jimin is friends with Irene or Jungkook is friends with Irene—?” 

“He won’t pay for the flight though. It’s too expensive. I can attest to that.” 

Karly holds a finger up, trying to connect the dots. “When did you look up flight prices—?” 

“So he invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.” 

Karly frowns. 

You sigh. “Jungkook invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.” 

“Oh! Oh!” Karly’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, that’s huge. Are you gonna go?” 

“I don’t know!” You whine. “Jungkook mentioned it would be a four day drive to get there. I don’t know if I can survive four days in a car with him! We’ve never been that close, what if it gets awkward?” 

Karly ponders this. “I really don’t think it’s in Jungkook’s nature to be awkward with someone—especially someone he’s had a history with.” She sees the look of disbelief you give her. “Well, even if that history was really limited. What makes you think it’ll be awkward? Was it awful seeing him tonight?” 

“No!” You cry, straightening into a sitting position so your legs drape over the side of the couch. You force yourself to calm down. “It… it was pretty good actually.” 

Karly raises an eyebrow, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Really now.” 

“Yeah…” You reply, trailing off. “We sat across from each other during the dinner and we talked most of the night, surprisingly. I guess because we were sort of acquaintances we’ve always known about each other, so it wasn’t like we didn’t know how to ask questions to each other. And Jungkook… he’s easy to talk to as he’s always been and he’s so nice and positive and he has a dimple on his cheek when he smiles…” You finish slowly, noticing your racing heart that has come up as a result of this conversation and of your memory. You realize the predicament you’re in, further emphasized by Karly’s growing grin. You groan. “Shut up.” 

Karly looks like a Cheshire cat. “I didn’t say anything.” 

You grab onto one of the throw pillows and properly hit her in the face. “You’re saying many things right now, you bitch!” 

Karly takes the pillow from you and proceeds to whack you in the shoulder. “Not outloud!” 

“So you admit it!” You accuse, pointing at her. 

Karly yells. “Just admit you still have a crush on him!” 

Your groan turns into a cry. “Don’t say it outloud! Now I have to deal with it!” 

Your roommate sighs. “Bitch, I can tell you exactly how to deal with this. You’re gonna go on this road trip with Jungkook and see if you guys vibe—you honestly will not find a better way to discover your compatibility with him. If it works out, then you get more than a plus one to the wedding. If it doesn’t work out, just skip the wedding and take the first flight back home. Cut off your friendship with Jimin while you’re at it—it’s the only way to ensure you’ll never have to run into Jungkook again.” 

You pout. “That seems a little dramatic.” 

Karly thinks for a second, then she nudges you. “Remind me again about that quote your high school English teacher used to always parade around.” 

You stare at her for a moment, because you know exactly what point she’s trying to make. Still, you decide to humor her. And yourself. “‘You’ll never know if you’ll sink, swim, or float, until you’re willing to take the plunge’.” You level Karly with another gaze. Your friend has a point. You missed any chance to hang out with Jungkook during your college years—partly because your friend groups never intersected, but mostly because of your internalized fear of fucking up. But now that you are just a little older and just a little more versed in the art of conversing and befriending—maybe Karly is right. Maybe this is your chance to see if a different set of timing could make a difference. 

So you sigh. 

“I guess I should text Jungkook, huh.” 

Karly pats you on the shoulder. “Take the plunge, my dude.” 

.

You do take the plunge. You take Jungkook’s business card out from the pocket of your dress and dial the number. He expresses excitement—and also relief. 

These things lead up to the current moment. Eight o’clock in the morning: you lingering in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your suitcase by the door, and a roommate keeping you company. 

You don’t realize how nervous you are until you get a text from Jungkook. 

Jungkook (8:03am): i’m here! u can buzz me up so i can help u with your stuff :) 

You (8:03am): it’s ok jungkook it’s just a suitcase. i’ll be down in a second! 

You pocket your phone, and Karly can read the expression across your face before you realize what is going on. She straightens up. “He’s here?” 

“Yeah.” You rinse your coffee cup and make your way towards the door. “Did you want to come down with me?” 

Karly stops and gives you a look. “I thought that was already implied.” 

“Well, thanks, that’s really nice—!” 

“Someone has to give you an embarrassing goodbye.” 

“There it is.” You sigh. You don’t say anything as you and Karly exit the apartment and make your way down the hall into the elevator. It only takes a few seconds for the elevator to lower down to the ground floor, where you and Karly exit and make your way to the front of the apartment complex. 

You swear your heart beats just a little faster as soon as you see Jungkook near the front entrance of the building. He’s wearing a pair of black jackets with an oversized denim jacket and currently looking down at his phone—overall appearing so tall and pretty and otherworldly. For a brief second, you are taken by the fact that for the next four days, he’ll be yours. 

Jungkook looks up as soon as he hears the door opening and he smiles. “Hey you.” 

You smile, albeit a little lopsided and dreamy. “Hi.” 

Jungkook walks towards you immediately. “Here, let me help you with that.” He reaches a hand out and gently takes the handle of your suitcase before you can say anything. Just as he’s taking the suitcase from you, Karly emerges from the building. “Oh, sorry about that.” 

Karly waves him off. “Don’t be. I’m Y/N’s roommate—I’m just here to see her off.” 

Jungkook stares at her for a moment, then he snaps his fingers. “Wait, I remember you. You went to college with us too.” He jerks his chin towards you. “You hung out with Y/N a lot, right?” 

“Yeah, I’m Karly.” She holds out her hand for Jungkook to shake. “And you’re right, she and I hung out a lot. We were roommates back then too.” 

Jungkook nods in understanding, before shoving his hand into his pocket. His other hand is still holding onto your suitcase. “Well, I promise to take good care of Y/N.” 

Karly smacks her teeth against the side of her mouth as she points at him. “You’re a good man, Jungkook.” She pauses for a moment, seeming to contemplate a new thought. You recognize the look immediately, and your fingers twitch as if you want to strangle her. Or at least let her know you’re throwing her a look of murderous intent. But of course, Karly doesn’t see it. And even if she had, you doubt she’d care. “But no funny business, alright.” 

You gape at her. “Karly!” 

Jungkook coughs at that. “I-It’s just a drive—y-you don’t need to worry about that.” He does, however, turn away to hide the red that dusts his cheeks. 

As soon as Jungkook’s back is facing you, you whirl around to shoot Karly with a glare. “Karly, you’re lucky I’m leaving for the next four days or I would not hesitate to figure out how to make stuffocation look like an accident!” You hiss out between teeth without taking a breath. 

Karly glares right back. “You’re really dumb, aren’t you? The fact that he recognizes me because he saw you hanging out with me on campus doesn’t strike any chords? Even though, like you said, you guys weren’t really friends?” 

You blink. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

Karly widens her eyes. “What the fuck do you mean? Are you dumb with all the boys or just Jungkook?” 

“What do you mean!” You snap back. 

“So, Y/N, ready to go?” 

You whirl back around to find Jungkook now standing in front of you and Karly. He must have finished packing your suitcase in the trunk of his car and is now looking over at you with a tilt in his head. 

So you force a smile. “Of course,” You say, turning to Karly. “I was just saying bye to my roommate.” 

He nods in understanding, sparing one more glance at Karly before seeming to decide against it because he looks away. He’s still a little red at Karly’s previous comment. “We should get going then.” 

“Sure.” You look over at your roommate. “See you, bitch.” 

Karly waves back, grinning wildly. You just know she has several other thoughts she’d like to share with you, but has probably deemed you embarrassed enough. Lucky for you, she keeps her mouth shut. 

Unlucky for you, without Karly to be a barrier of distraction, this leaves you alone with Jungkook. You slide into the passenger seat of his car, still not yet processing the weight of what you’ve just agreed to. You fiddle alone for a second before Jungkook is opening the driver’s side and shifting into his seat. 

There is a silence as Jungkook is starting the car, and a part of you wants to die. Or at least have the ground swallow you whole. Holy fuck, what did you just sign up for? 

Your mind somehow takes five seconds to turn into complete shambles that you almost miss Jungkook’s question. 

“Here, I’m giving you an important mission,” Jungkook says, rummaging through the various chords that lay over the center console before producing an aux cord. “Should you choose to accept.” 

He’s got on such a serious expression you momentarily forget about your anxiety. His usage of the iconic line from Mission Impossible makes you laugh—a breathy sort of noise that escapes when your mind is too full. You still take the aux cord. “Oh my god—ever heard of bluetooth?” 

He pouts. “It hasn’t even been five minutes and you’re already insulting my beautiful Celia!” 

You raise both your eyebrows. “Celia?” 

“Yeah, that’s the name of my car.” He catches the bewildered look you give him before angling himself back to face the steering wheel, where he shifts his console into drive and makes a turn onto the main street. “If you’re already weirded out by the fact I have a name for my baby, then you’re in for a very long four days, Miss. Y/N.” 

You giggle, feeling that distraction of nerves start to come off your shoulders. “Not weird at all.” You pause. “Ryan is the name of my car.” 

“Ah!” He holds one arm out in a grand gesture. “You see, not so strange after all.” He steals a glance at you, watching as you’re about to connect your phone to the aux cord. “Wait!” He says, pointing a finger at you. 

You look up at him, wide eyes. 

He’s still holding an arm up. “How’s your music taste?” 

You’re still giving him your surprised expression. “You scared me!” 

He laughs, returning his hand back to the steering wheel. “Sorry, sorry. I have to ask though—I’d rather know now than later, so I can kick you out and not feel as bad about it.” 

Your laughter seems to melt away the last of your nervous energy. “Nice to know you’re putting all your cards out now.” You look down at your phone. “Regarding my music taste… it’s whatever you want dude! I have some lo-fi on here, some pop, alternative, Broadway, anime openings… an ‘everything’ playlist. Honestly, the world is your oyster.” 

“How about we start with your ‘everything’ playlist,” Jungkook suggests. “That way I can judge you immediately.” 

“Were you always this charming, Jeon Jungkook?” You retort. “Or has graduation changed you?” 

“Oh, I’ve always been this charming—you just never noticed.” 

That comment, however, goes over your head as you focus down on your playlist. You look over, selecting the shuffle option as Taylor Swift’s soft music from her newest album fills the air. Another silence fills the car, but it’s much more peaceful and comfortable. You allow yourself to settle further into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car. 

“So,” You start after a moment. Jungkook hums to let you know he’s paying attention. “What inspired the name Celia?” 

Jungkook brightens at the question. “She was this character from a book I read when I was younger. The Night Circus? Anyways, the book is about these two illusionists who try to one up each other with their skills of magic, but they end up falling in love. Celia is the name of one of those illusionists.” 

You grin. “Sounds like a very cute crush.” 

Jungkook grins back. 

The drive out of the city continues like this. The pair of you cover the topic of books, of music, of your favorite animes. Jungkook just has this magical power of ensuring the tension dissipates from your mind and stays gone—whether it’s through his relaxed nature or easy-going teasing or his ability to ease the conversation from one topic to the next. It feels like every conversation you and Jungkook had in college, whether vague or circling around classes, all have led up to this moment. It seems like everytime you or Jungkook run out of things to talk about pertaining to a certain topic, you would bring up memories from college and just continue from there. Everything feels natural. 

It continues to feel natural even as you and Jungkook slowly start to see the edges of the city landscape fade away. The high rises fade into shorter buildings and smaller business areas that surround the bustling city scene. You watch as those buildings and business areas become rows of houses. Residential areas in the suburbs, passing by the occasional school or corner restaurants. 

“Before we enter the wide unknown,” Jungkook starts up, breaking the quiet that has enveloped the car. “You want to pick up lunch? You hungry?” 

You haven’t even realized how much time has gone by until you look at the clock on Jungkook’s dashboard and notice that it’s past noon. You widen your eyes at the sight. “Wow, I didn’t even realize so much time had passed.” 

“Yeah, we drove through a few cities. Time flies when you’re having fun, huh?” 

“You wish,” You tease, sticking your tongue out. “So, what, do we stop at a Cheesecake factory or something?” 

Jungkook blinks. “I thought you were poor—why would we stop at the Cheesecake factory? And why is that the first restaurant that comes to your mind?” 

You wave your hands. “It was just a suggestion!” 

“Well, I’m realizing that I should probably let you know that the motel I picked for us to drive to tonight is pretty far out—Google Maps says we probably won’t get there until midnight, and that’s with us driving straight through.” 

“Midnight? Fuck, Jungkook. Will we make it to the wedding a day early or something?” 

“Ha, ha, no. I’ll go over the schedule I planned out tomorrow. Basically, I want to try and cover most of our ground on the first day so we can take the rest of the trip easy. But I thought I’d let you know now that sitting in a restaurant probably won’t be the most time responsible idea.” 

“That’s true.” You look out the window again and see the golden arches of McDonalds appear within your line of sight. “Let’s just stop at McDonalds.” 

Jungkook follows your gaze. “Alright, down. Let’s do it.” 

He exits off the freeway, following down a route that takes him almost immediately towards the McDonalds parking lot. Since this restaurant is still within the lines of the city, it’s not completely deserted. There are a few cars in the parking lot, even fewer cars in the drive-through line. Because of this, ordering the food only takes a few minutes. Both of you get chicken nuggets, sodas, and large orders of french fries. 

“You know, we’re really living like kings,” You comment as Jungkook drives out and makes his way back onto the freeway. “College graduates, both somehow able to secure a job, and still ordering chicken mcnuggets.” 

Jungkook shrugs. “I wasn’t told this is what adulthood would be like. But I’m not complaining. My 10-year-old self is singing in so much joy right now.” He says this as he’s stuffing a handful of fries into your mouth. You laugh, and hand him a napkin. 

You turn the music back on. The pair of you silently munch on your chicken nuggets, as you angle your head towards the side window once again. As Jungkook drives, the numbers of structural spaces become more scattered the longer you both continue down the freeway. 

The anime opening to Haikyuu starts playing when you turn back to Jungkook and realize that he’s trying to close the box of his chicken nuggets. You move right away, taking the cardboard from him and closing it yourself. “Let me know if you need anything, Jungkook. Think of me as your co-pilot.” 

He laughs gently. “Is that the rule of the passenger seat?” 

You shrug, putting the empty box into the McDonalds bag near your feet. “For me at least. Everytime I do one of these drives with family, the person in the passenger seat has to open the snacks, make conversation, and always stay awake with the driver. It’s just courtesy.”

Jungkook is smiling softly now, mostly to himself, but it lights the corners of his eyes that makes you momentarily unable to look away. “You wanna tell me about your family?” 

So you do. Your voice becomes softer as you continue, but Jungkook listens to every single word you say. 

True to his observation, it’s not long before the pair of you are surrounded by the wide unknown. Houses in the suburbs become farmhouses and farms. Conversations fade from your family to another comfortable silence as you continue gazing out the window. Jungkook requests your lo-fi playlist at some point, filling the car with the soft and distorted hums. It allows your mind to wander as you stare out the window. The empty stretches of land around you are filled with greenery, with mountains, cutting right through the perfect blue of the sky above you. 

By 4:00PM, your entire body is starting to feel the ache of having been seated for long hours on end. You feel the tightness in the muscles of your thigh, the bones in your knees. 

Jungkook must be feeling the same, because as soon as a sign for a rest stop comes on, he exits the freeway and pulls into a large parking lot. There’s a restroom on the side, but the area is surrounded by trees with mountains standing in the background. 

Jungkook stops the car. “We should get out for a bit to move our legs.” 

You’re already tugging on the latch that’ll open the car door. “I’m already feeling it in my knees.” You open the door and immediately extend your legs out onto the solid ground beneath you. You let out a sigh of satisfaction, and Jungkook laughs from next to you. 

He’s opening his own car door soon after, but he straightens up into a standing position pretty quickly and stretches upwards. He closes the car door behind him, watching as you eventually pull yourself together to do the same. 

You turn to face Jungkook. “I’m gonna use the restroom.” You gesture towards the building and earn a nod from Jungkook, who mentions something about doing the same thing. You meet back at the car a few minutes later. 

Jungkook gestures to the trees surrounding the parking lot. “Want to take a walk around the area? Keep the blood flowing to our legs.” 

You nod. “That sounds like a good idea.” 

“Why don’t you get started. I’ll catch up.” Jungkook watches you leave, before opening the trunk of his car and rummaging around. 

He does catch up with you, quickly enough that you hardly notice that he had sent you out first. You hear his footsteps, and the call of your name. You turn around. “Jungkook!” 

The sight before you makes you waver slightly, as bouts of shyness overtake you. Standing before you is Jungkook, with his camera in hand. The lens is pointed right at you. As soon as you’re staring straight into the camera, Jungkook grins. “Say hi!” 

You whine, whirling back around and covering your face. “Are you filming me right now?” 

“I’m a photographer at heart, what did you expect?” Jungkook teases back. “Besides, it’s really pretty around here. You think I won’t film it?” 

You snort, starting your walk around the parking lot. “Oh yeah, because there aren’t any parking lots and trees and bathroom stops at home.” 

Jungkook is quiet for a second. “That’s not what I meant.” 

You turn to stare right into the lens of his camera. “Then the mountains, right?” 

He’s quiet for another second. “Sure.” He does, however, sound a little disappointed. You do not notice this. 

The pair of you stay quiet as you make your round around the parking lot, taking in the mountains from different angles. The walk around is mostly just to rid of the sensation of your legs falling off, but it’s still a nice view to admire. As soon as you finish a complete round, you and Jungkook return back to the car. You watch as he carefully places his camera into his camera bag before you’re both back in your seats. 

Jungkook turns to you. “Ready to get going again?” He looks at the control panel behind his steering wheel. “We’ll probably have to stop for gas in a few hours. But after that, it’s straight to the hotel.” 

You settle back into the passenger seat. “I guess we already have our dinner plans then.” You’re referring to the gas station. 

Jungkook grins. “I’m down for that.” 

And so, the trip continues back on the freeway. With the lo-fi playing in the background, you watch as the sun tears through the blue sky, as the sun finally begins it’s dip to the other side. The singular color once spread across the pane of atmosphere now conjugates around the sun crawling behind the mountain—creating a diffusion of new colors. The corner of the mountain emits an explosion of oranges, pinks, and purples. 

You lift your head from the window, eyes taking in the rainbow of pastels around the now fading sun. “Wow, Jungkook, look at that sunset.” 

He snorts. “You wanna talk about things that you can’t see back in the city?” 

You pout. “But it looks so pretty, see!” You keep gesturing towards the sunset. 

Jungkook relents just enough to spare a glance in the direction. He hums. “Yeah, it’s pretty.” He looks back at the road. “Can’t really find a view like that in the city.” 

You spend a little more time admiring the sunset than Jungkook does, for obvious reasons. You’ve seen a sunset plenty of times before in the past, but the context of this whole situation makes you unable to look away from it. You’re really out here, stuck in a car with someone you have never hung out with for longer than a few minutes. But you are enjoying yourself. There's peace in that. 

So you watch until the sun dips below the mountain, momentarily leaving the sky in a navy color. 

The next time Jungkook speaks, the area around you is much darker, and the sky is nearly black. “You hungry now?” 

You lift your head from the seat, not even realizing you were drifting off. You’re thinking about Irene, wondering if you should have texted her directly congratulating her on the wedding rather than just simply sending in the RSVP. “Sure. We eat as the car eats, right?” 

Jungkook smiles, a gesture you can barely make out from the headlines. “Of course.” 

This goes on for a few more miles until the sign for a gas station comes up. A few other cars linger near the dispensers. Jungkook parks near his choice and gets out of the car. You follow behind him. He’s already sliding his credit card into the machine, and the sight makes you reach over to grab his wrist. 

“I should pay, you’ve been driving all day!” 

He shakes his head, waving you off. “We’ll take turns, okay?” He looks at you. “Buy me dinner tonight too, that sound fair?” 

You pout, leaning back as you cross your arms. “Not really, but I guess I’ll have to accept it.” 

He grins. “You are correct.” 

As soon as the gas pump alerts you of the filled tank, Jungkook returns the pump back to the machine and locks his car. Together, the two of you make your way towards the convenience store, where the bell above rings to alert the workers of your presence. Nods are exchanged as you and Jungkook tear through the aisles to find anything that could satisfy your cravings. You return back with family size bags of hot cheetos and beef jerky, while Jungkook holds his selection of roasted seaweed and Doritos. You select your drinks together before returning to the cashier. 

It’s nearing 9:00PM as you and Jungkook return back to his car, where you slide back into your seats and immediately tear into your bags of salt and sodium. 

“How are you doing?” You ask as Jungkook finishes his first bag of roasted seaweed. 

Jungkook pulls out his phone, scrolling through the final stretch needed to reach the hotel. “Yeah, about four more hours to the motel.” He looks over at you. “I’m good. The salt in this seaweed really helps. How are you doing?” 

You nod immediately. “Great. Perfect.” 

He smiles, shifting his console to drive and pulling out of the gas station. “I’m used to these weird hours. Remember how I told you I traveled around a bit with Mingyu and Wonwoo? There was this one day we only slept for an hour or something? It sucked, I think I almost passed out that day. But yeah, this is honestly not even that bad.” He turns to look at you. “I think the good company helps, too.” 

You roll your eyes, grinning. “You flatter me, Jeon.” 

Slowly, 8PM turns into 10PM. One glance at Google maps tells you that you’re still two hours from the hotel. Even though you’re not the one driving, and although you haven’t endured any physical activity that could result in this exhaustion, you still find yourself growing tired. Something about sitting under the sun, sitting in a vehicle that rocks side to side with a consistent hum—it makes your mind work slowly and therefore brings out the sleepiness quicker. 

You settle deeper into your seat. 

Jungkook giggles from next to you. “You tired already?” 

You pout slowly, eyes closed just enough. “I’m not a morning person and you made me wake up at 8!” 

“Sure, sure, of course.” 

There’s a pause. 

You ponder a question for a moment. It’s something that you would never dare ask Jungkook if you had been more awake and more alert. But you’re tired, and your defenses are lowered, and it means you are more prone to asking questions. “Hey, Jungkook? Did you have any girlfriends when we were in college?” 

Jungkook doesn’t answer immediately. “Where’s this coming from?” He asks instead. 

You shrug, making a dismissive noise as your shoulders rise up. “Curiosity.” 

A pause. “I went on a few dates, but I never had a serious relationship.” 

“No way.” You lift your head up from the seat. “But I remember seeing you hang out with the occasional girl in the quad, or at some restaurants around the school.” 

Jungkook smiles. It’s hard to read the look in his eyes. They’re focused on the road in front of him, but they seem almost hazy and faraway. “Like I said, I went on a few dates. I did really want to get into a long term relationship in college. A lot of my friends had them, that’s where my parents met, so I was really open to the idea of at least experimenting. There were a lot of girls that I thought were nice, easy-going, or just really pretty, so I tried my hand in the whole dating thing.” 

“And it didn’t work out?” You coax out gently. 

“Not really,” He continues. He steals a glance at you. “We’d go on a few dates, but none of them ever felt substantial. I think girls see me and have a certain expectation—an expectation I couldn’t meet. So I never could picture myself in a long term relationship with any of them.” 

You tilt your head towards him. “There must have been someone…” 

“Well… there was one girl.” Jungkook starts after a moment. He’s not looking at you this time. “We had a few classes together earlier—we weren’t in the same major program. I don’t even know if I’d say we were close or anything. We just had a few classes and saw each other around on occasion. But the conversations we did have during class or outside of class just felt more real. Honestly, I could have been totally wrong about her. I could have just been blinded by all these expectations I was putting on her, which is ironic. But she was the only person I could actually see myself being in a long term relationship with. Or at least try.” 

You hum, still facing towards him in your seat. “Why didn’t you try anything then? You’re a good guy, Jungkook. I’m sure she would have wanted to try with you too.” 

“I guess I was just afraid of pushing it and scaring her off. I thought it was better to stay friends with her than try to pursue something. She never gave me an indication that she felt the same.” 

“And how do you feel now?” 

There’s a pause this time. “I don’t know honestly. We remained friends up until graduation but, uh, never saw her again. I do wonder from time to time how she’s doing.” 

“You should reach out to her,” You advise softly. “Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird.” You grin at him. “You need to make your move.” 

It is then that Jungkook turns to look at you. He looks for a little longer this time, eyes focused entirely on you. Underneath the small crescent of the moon above, you are still able to make out his facial features. His cheeks, his nose, his eyes—the latter is glimmering, like he knows something that you don’t. 

“I’m working on that,” He mumbles softly. You turn your head back towards the road. 

. 

You wake up the next morning feeling groggy, dirty, and messy. Your head lifts up from a pillow you can only vaguely remember falling on, laying on top of a bed you only vaguely remember throwing yourself in. There’s sunlight pouring into the room, but it feels like early morning sun. There’s a crisp in the air that you can feel, that you see out of the window. Right outside is the gathering of bushes and trees, a bright blue sky.

You are in the motel. 

Slowly, you push yourself into a sitting position, until you’re resting atop the white linen of your bed. Across the room, snuggled in his own twin bed, is Jungkook. His lashes are fanning across his cheekbones, his lips are parted, and his breathing is slow and soft.

It isn’t until Jungkook shifts in bed that you realize you’ve been watching him like a creep. Hastily, you tear your gaze away and decide to focus your gaze down. You notice immediately that you are not underneath the blankets. Instead, you are lying underneath Jungkook’s jacket. 

You roll the jacket off your frame, discovering that you are still in last night’s clothes—which explains why you were feeling so groggy and discombobulated. You look across the floor of the hotel room. Your suitcase is near the foot of your bed, and your phone sits on your nightstand connected to your charger. 

Vaguely, you recall what had happened the previous night—how Jungkook drove into the hotel room nearing midnight and the exhaustion was so overpowering that you and Jungkook blindly asked for any room with two twin beds before following through and practically collapsing into your respected beds. 

You definitely did that, which explains why you were on top of the bed, why you’re still in yesterday’s clothes, and why Jungkook’s jacket was your blanket. Stealing another glance at Jungkook: underneath the blankets and in a different t-shirt—you can assume that he was able to take a shower before lying down. 

With a sigh, you push off Jungkook’s jacket and lay it down on the bed next to you. Hoping not to disturb Jungkook, you slide out of bed and lower your suitcase to the ground. After fishing out a new set of clothes, you decide to take a shower. 

The warmth from the shower is the best breath of fresh air you’ve gotten since hitting the road with Jungkook. It feels like your body is going through a battery recharge, and it’s one you take your time with. You step out of the shower, running the towel through your hair and drying yourself enough to slip on your outfit for the day. The towel is thrown around your neck as you step out of the shower, letting the steam follow you out of the bathroom. 

Jungkook is still sleeping as you step out, which is good otherwise you’d feel bad for having disturbed his sleep time. After all the driving he did yesterday, you figure he deserves a few extra hours regardless of what the schedule calls for. 

You continue running the towel through your hair as you pick up your phone. Strangely, you do not remember connecting it to a charger before knocking out, but you pick it up regardless to see the 9:00AM time across your screen. 

There’s a quiet that takes over, in which you’re sitting perched comfortably on your bed and scrolling through your phone as Jungkook continues to drift a few feet away from you. 

About thirty minutes seem to pass before Jungkook is moaning softly to himself, letting out a puff of air as he slowly opens his eyes. His arms extend above him, knocking into the headboard and making him curse softly to himself. His eyes open as he lowers his hands to inspect the damage before immediately looking over towards you. 

He blinks, a tired smile overtaking his lips as he arches his back into a stretch. “Hey,” He greets, voice rough and scratchy and making your heart clench. Damn thing. “You’re awake. You knocked out pretty quickly as soon as we got the room.” 

You laugh. “Yeah, I honestly figured that.” You pick up his jacket, as if he hadn’t been the one to lay it on you those hours ago. “Thanks for trying to help me get comfortable.” You gesture towards the nightstand. “Did you find my charger too?” 

Jungkook sits up as he continues a small round of stretches and yawns. “I did,” He says. “You were barely coherent, but made enough sense to tell me where it was in your bag. Sorry for going through it, by the way.” 

You shake your head, waving him off. “No worries. Thank you again, Jungkook.” 

The pair of you stare at each other for a few moments, before that silence is broken by Jungkook’s phone going off. You look down as Jungkook snatches his own phone off the nightstand. He scrolls through something, before placing it back. 

“So, what’s the plan for today?” You ask, bringing your fingers through your hair to comb and give you a distraction. 

“Oh! Right.” Jungkook swings his legs off the side of the bed. “We have a slower day today. The hotel I picked is only about five hours away? We’re driving through the mountains today, so there’s this place I want to visit that has a little restaurant and everything. It’ll be a cute pit stop.” 

You nod. “Awesome, okay.” You curl your fingers around the strands of now loose strands of hair. 

It takes another hour until you and Jungkook are packed up again and ready to leave. A quick stop to the lobby provides both of you with a bagel and cup of coffee each as your breakfast. All before you’re once again sliding into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car. 

You roll your shoulders before clicking your seatbelt in. “Ready for another long day?” 

“Of course.” He digs through his center console, producing his aux cord. “Your mission,” He says dramatically, not unlike yesterday. “Should you choose to accept.” 

You laugh gently, taking the cord. “You in love with Mission Impossible or something? This is the second time in two days you’re quoting it to me.” 

And this is how your day starts off—talks of Mission Impossible films that bleed into conversations about movies. 

The day at 10 o’clock in the morning is bright and blue as Jungkook drives back onto the freeway and continues down the road. The first few hours consist of the surrounding flatland, of green grass and high mountains all around. Conversations between you and Jungkook are a little more scattered today, but there’s a new level of comfort about the situation. With both of you well rested, it invites a more relaxed atmosphere as you pass the occasional joke or story time between the pair of you. 

As the sun continues to travel higher in the sky, Jungkook’s car starts it’s approach up the mountain. The trees start enveloping the pair of you into a newer, higher world. Not only that, but whenever you and Jungkook reach a clearing, it exposes a dip of lakes, grass, and mountains. And you, always having enjoyed the views of nature, keep an open eye for every single thing. 

You see Jungkook’s choice of destination before he does, and you gasp excitedly. 

Up ahead is a cloud of pink, white, and red flowers covering an entire mountain side. There is an occasional pop of cedar trees amongst the covering of pink, white, and red, but the colors are so poignant that it captures your attention immediately. 

You point to it. “Is that where we’re going?” 

Jungkook grins. “Surprise!” He’s selected this spot before offering the invitation to let you come along, but you’re not complaining. You’ve never been to a flower farm before, despite having heard about them and seen pictures of them for most of your childhood. You continue to watch with wide eyes and bright smiles as Jungkook drives closer and closer to the destination, finally parking in the appropriate lot after paying the fee. 

You’re practically vibrating in your seat with excitement. “Jungkook, Jungkook, c’mon let’s go, let’s go!” You push on the latch and nearly tumble out onto the ground. You straighten to stand on your feet, before meeting Jungkook near the trunk of his car. Surprise, surprise, he pulls out his camera and loops the strap over his head. 

He’s grinning as he closes the trunk. “You’re a little excited, aren’t you?” 

“A little?” You echo, clapping your hands, seemingly unable to wipe the grin off your face. “Jungkook, this is a flower farm! It’s so exciting!” 

So you dart off with Jungkook following closely behind you. The parking lot is located at the top of the flower farm, so the tour around the fields is a downwards one towards the bottom. A small pathway maps out a route for you to follow as you take in the various lines of flowers and colors. One short glimpse at the brochure tells you that these are spring flowers, and that you and Jungkook are visiting during the perfect season. You and Jungkook continue through your makeshift tour in silence, taking in the flowers as well as the view that extends out far beyond your line of sight while Jungkook snaps photographs behind you. Words don’t need to be said when everything around you says it all. 

At the bottom of the field is a cafe, a small brick building with an outdoor seating area facing the now upward flower display. You and Jungkook order sandwiches and soda, and take your seats outside as you wait for your number to be called. There are a fair amount of people today at the field, most of which you can see ahead roaming through the flowers ahead. 

“Have you ever been to a flower farm before?” Jungkook asks, as he glances over at you to see how bright your expression is. 

You smile as you turn to him. “No, never. But thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful here.” 

Jungkook smiles, looking a little smug. He looks proud of himself. “I’ve always wanted to come here, so I’m glad I was able to bring you along.” It looks like he wants to say more, but the number that rests between Jungkook’s fingers is called out, interrupting the conversation. He returns a moment later with the food. “I actually wanted to ask you something,” He says, taking the sandwich plate off the tray and placing it in front of you. 

You take the napkins that are being offered to you. “What’s up?” 

He settles down into his seat. “I didn’t get to return the question that you asked me last night.” 

It takes you a second to realize what he’s referring to. Immediately, you feel yourself turn red as you press your lips together. You were definitely drowsy last night, and hadn’t put too much consideration in the aftermath of asking Jungkook about his college relationships. You instead try for a laugh, as you wave him off. “Well, you don’t need to ask me. It’s pretty boring.” 

“Nonsense,” Jungkook brushes off, taking another bite of his sandwich. “So tell me, did you get into any relationships in college?” 

You laugh, albeit a little nervously. “No, not really. I never even went on any dates before—I guess, like you, I just couldn’t see myself in any long term relationship with anyone that seemed to like me.” 

“Well, how about crushes on your end? Did you like anyone?” 

You gaze over at Jungkook—taking in his wide curious eyes, his soft voice, his contagious laugh. The memories of him waving at you in class, of him catching up to you afterwards to continue previous conversations, of him going out of his way to say hi to you in the library. Jungkook has always been thoughtful, considerate, and soft along the edges. How could you not have crushed on him during college? 

And how could you not continue to have these lingering feelings for him afterwards? 

You think about your own advice you had given to Jungkook. You should reach out to her. Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird. You need to make your move. Could you even follow your own advice? 

You look down before Jungkook could start asking questions about your staring. “There was this one guy,” You start, trying for an uneasy laugh. “But I don’t think he ever noticed me. Well, that’s a lie. I guess we were kind of friends? I think it’s more along the lines of me being out of his league.” 

“That’s depressing,” Jungkook notes as he finishes his sandwich. You hardly even noticed him inhaling the thing. “How could you be out of a guy’s league? You’re so smart and funny and easy to talk to—if anything, a guy would probably be out of your league.” He leans forward, bringing you close enough where you can clearly make out the mole underneath his lip. “Tell me about this punk. So I can tell you he’s not good enough for you.” 

You laugh, keeping your gaze on him. You doubt he’d be so confident had he known about ‘this punk’. “He isn’t a punk,” You remark quietly. “He’s really nice, and really sweet. I was pretty quiet in college. Definitely introverted and kept to myself and had a hard time making friends. Although I would have honestly barely considered him a friend, he just made me feel like my time was meaningful and my attention was valuable to him.” Jungkook’s eyes continue to bore into yours. “If anything, I just wish he knew how much I admire him.” 

Jungkook’s gaze is unwavering across your face, once again displaying that unreadable expression. Yet, despite that, something glimmers in his eyes and he seems to come to an understanding you yourself don’t know about. That glimmer keeps swimming across the orbs, even as he switches his gaze between your eyes. They flicker down to your lips for a second, and your heart stutters in your chest. 

Jungkook coughs, pulling away from you as he seems to hyper-focus his attention on the soda still in front of him. He looks shy as he steals another glance at you from across the table. “He might not have made you feel that important if you were too scared to tell him how you felt.” 

You look down at your sandwich and take another bite. Something about the way he’s staring holes into the side of your face tells you that he knows something that you don’t. You wonder what he’s thinking. 

Jungkook wears that thoughtful expression for the rest of the visit to the flower field, as the pair of you return back to his car and slide back in your seats. He stays quiet as you resume the trip, slowly making your way back onto the freeway and towards your second motel. 

This kind of quiet is different than the previous silences the pair of you have grown to share over the past twenty-four hours. Unlike the comfortable moments of unspoken words, this is more tense. Like he knows something that you don’t. 

You don’t know what to say, or how to break that silence. You don’t know if perhaps you said something you shouldn’t have, or said something to make him uncomfortable. All of those thoughts are not pleasant ones. 

Jungkook stays quiet for most of the drive through the mountain. The music you have selected is loud enough that seems to drown the tense atmosphere, but the questions still press themselves deeply into your mind. What is he thinking about? 

And worse of all: did he know you were talking about him? 

You and Jungkook only speak a handful of times during the trip. He asks you if you need to use the restroom, if you’re hungry, and if you could play him your favorite anime openings. The pair of you have a handful of laughs about your mutual love for Haikyuu and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, but most of the drive to the motel is ridden out in silence. 

The pair of you reach the hotel around dinnertime, definitely nowhere as exhausted as you had been the previous night, but just as eager to finally reach your destination. The tension between you and Jungkook has eased slightly, so you can only assume that perhaps he has overcome whatever was bothering him. You yourself have pushed the thought of Jungkook knowing the truth out of your mind. After all, if he had known, you assume he would have brought it up. Or at least called for an Uber to send you home. You assume you would have provided some sort of reaction for the two of you to talk about. But alas, those thoughts follow a conversation that has not happened, and will probably never happen, because you’re sure that you’ll never have to be in a situation that forces your feelings to go out of control once again—! 

“Hi,” Jungkook returns to the hotel clerk behind the desk, a girl to be about your age, who is flickering her gaze between you and Jungkook. A flicker in her eyes tells you that she already has multiple thoughts and assumptions about your relationship. “Do you have a room with two beds?” 

“Oh!” The girl blinks, momentarily looking taken aback. “Of course, let me check.” She turns her attention to the computer screen in front of her. Her eyebrows furrow together. “I’m sorry sir, we only have rooms with one bed available—either a full, queen, or king-size mattress.” 

Jungkook makes a noise in the back of his throat as he taps his credit card on the desk. Just watching from the side, you notice how he swallows, how he looks down, how his cheeks turn red. He turns to you after a moment. “D-Do you, uh, do you mind?” 

It takes you a second to realize what Jungkook is asking. He’s asking if you’d be okay with sharing a bed with him. Him: your college crush, the guy you never really lost feelings for. 

You turn red too. “U-Um…” You press your lips together and swallow. “S-Sure,” You manage, waving your hands out in front of you. “I-I don’t mind. I-If you don’t mind, of course.” 

“I-I don’t mind either.” Jungkook, however, looks like he’s about to combust. He looks a little lost again. He blinks once, twice, and seems to realize that he’s supposed to hand the woman behind the desk his card. “Uh, whichever room is the cheapest.” 

“That’ll be the room with the full-size bed.” She flickers her gaze between the two of you. “If that’s okay.” 

“O-Of course,” He stammers back, allowing the girl to take the card. He looks at you. “Do you mind staying here? I have to go to the bathroom real quick.” 

“S-Sure, go ahead.” A part of you wants to hit your head on the desk. What is happening to you? Why is the mere thought of sharing a bed with Jungkook turning you into a pile of mush? You’re a grown ass woman—! 

“So the two of you on vacation or something?” The woman behind the desk asks. She’s still in the middle of scanning Jungkook’s credit card. 

You try for a smile. “Kind of, we’re going to a friend’s wedding.” 

“I see, that sounds fun.” She smiles. “You know, I have to be honest, I was a little surprised he asked for two beds. You guys would make a cute couple.” 

At the label, you start to turn red. “O-Oh n-no, we’re not a couple at all. That’s very flattering, b-but yeah we’re not together.” 

“Oh, I know,” The girl rebuffs. Her smile looks more like a grin. She places Jungkook’s credit card on the desk, along with a receipt and a pen. “I hope the full size bed will change that.” She gives you a wink. 

You part your lips, unsure what to make of the situation. “What—!” 

“I’m back,” Jungkook says, sliding up from behind you and making you jump slightly. “What did I miss?” 

“Uh…” You wonder if your face is too red or not. It certainly feels that way. “Here!” You push him forward towards the desk. “She scanned your credit card. You just need to sign and we’ll be on our way.” 

If Jungkook notices the stiffness in your posture, he doesn’t comment as he leans forward to sign the receipt. Just over Jungkook’s shoulder is the worker, looking at you with a now shit-eating grin across her lips. Several questions ping through your mind, but you don’t get to ask any of those because Jungkook is turning around with his credit card in hand. 

“Uh, ready to get going?” 

“Sure!” You say, voice a few several pitches higher and you return to wanting the ground to swallow you whole. Jungkook leads the way out of the lobby, and you dare one last glance back towards the woman behind the counter. 

She’s waving a slip of paper in her hand. 

You turn back to Jungkook. “Hey Jungkook, give me a second. I think we forgot to grab something at the desk.” 

It sort of feels like a walk of shame to reach the worker behind the counter, who is still grinning at the sight of you and your internal struggles. She hands you the slip of paper, mouths something that makes you go red, before you’re turning back towards Jungkook. “Good luck,” She had whispered. 

Before you’re reaching Jungkook, you open the paper. At the very top is the WiFi password. 

Underneath the WiFi password, in what you can only assume is her handwriting, is one sentence. Fate said you guys only get one bed- don’t worry, I think he likes you too :-) 

“What was that about?” Jungkook asks. 

You shove the paper into your pocket. “The WiFi password,” You supply. 

The walk to the hotel room is quiet as Jungkook leads the way through the different hallways, corridors, and numbers on plaques. That tense silence is back as he guides the two of you, stopping only when he reaches the number that matches the one on the index card. He gives you a look, and inserts the card key into the slot. The door beeps, and he pushes open the door to find, true to the word of the lady behind the counter, one full-sized bed in the middle of the room. 

For the first few hours, it’s easy to ignore that full-sized elephant in the room. Jungkook takes out his laptop and you guys watch your favorite season of Haikyuu together—it’s season two—or you guys linger about on your phones. It isn’t until nighttime falls into your bones, into your minds, that you realize that you really need to address the new situation. 

“I’m gonna take a shower first, if that’s okay,” You say, already sliding off the bed to gather your belongings from your suitcase. Jungkook is humming along to the Haikyuu ending song, but he stops long enough to accept you taking the first shower. He watches you as you fish pajamas out from your suitcase. “Hey, Jungkook…” You start. “Are you sure you’re cool with this?” You gesture to the bed. “I can sleep on the floor. They give you extra bedding for a reason…” 

“What? No, of course not, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.” He moves until his knees are pressed into the mattress. “And I’m cool with this. Promise.” He hesitates. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

“Y-Yeah,” You manage, straightening into a standing position with your clothes in hand. “I don’t really move around when I’m sleeping. And I trust you, Jungkook.” You keep your gaze on each other until you break it first, turning around to step into the bathroom. 

You step out many minutes later, hair freshly washed and feeling much more relaxed than before. Jungkook has moved to the desk in the corner of the hotel room, typing away at some emails on his laptops. He does, however, whirl around upon hearing you exit the bathroom. The sight of you in your sweats, t-shirt, and damp hair makes his eyes linger. 

You merely tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You can go now,” You say quietly. 

Jungkook nods. “Thanks.” 

Breaking that eye contact again, you turn to the bed and lift the blankets to slide under the covers. You rest your head on the pillow, and immediately start to drift away. 

You are brought back after what only feels like a few minutes, when you hear a light switch turn off followed by the blanket next to you lifting up. You turn slightly towards the other side of the bed. “Jungkook?” You whisper. 

A stillness. “Ah shit, I’m sorry. I was trying to be sneaky.” 

“Mmm…” You mumble softly, turning your body 180 degrees in order to face him. You can vaguely make out the shadow of Jungkook’s outline. “Don’t worry. I’m a really light sleeper. Come on in.” 

There is a shift in the blankets until you feel the additional weight of Jungkook’s figure crawling in next to you. The knowledge that Jungkook is lying right next to you turns your blood hot both with anxiety and because Jungkook brings in a new wave of heat underneath the covers. For a cool spring night, it’s comforting. But also further anxiety-inducing. 

Jungkook shifts and even though the pair of you are on opposite sides of the bed, you can still feel the warmth radiating off his body. In the silence of the hotel room, you can hear Jungkook breathing. 

“Is this okay?” It’s Jungkook asking. His voice is quiet, soothing, and very close to your face. You realize that you guys are facing each other. 

Still, you have to give an answer. “Y-Yeah,” You reply softly. “Goodnight, Jungkook.” 

“Goodnight.” 

You turn onto your back. You try to go to sleep, you really do. But your heart is pounding, and rather than the blood filling your ears, it’s the sound of Jungkook’s breathing. 

“Y/N, you still awake?” Jungkook asks softly. 

You snort. “It’s only been a minute.” 

Jungkook smiles. “Sorry. I just… I have a question. A thought, actually.” 

“What is it?” 

“Well, okay, I don’t want to come off as arrogant or self-centered, but it’s just a question and just this thought that I have…” 

“Jungkook.” You turn back to face him. “You can ask me the question. I don’t mind.” 

“Well, alright.” Jungkook shifts. He’s a little closer now, you can make out the outline of his face. Everything looks slightly more defined now, definitely a result of your eyes adjusting to the darkness. “When you were talking about the guy you had a crush on… you know, when I asked if there was someone you were interested in while we were in college.” 

“Oh, I remember.” Your heart feels fuzzy, even though you have no idea what he’s going to ask you. 

“Okay, um. I guess I just wanted to know. Were you talking about me? 

The world seems to stop tilting on its axis—and all the consequences of that follow along. Everything around you slows to a grind: your heart stops in your chest, and all the air drains out of your lungs. You hold your breath, feeling as if your body has just been dipped underwater. Thousands of thoughts ping through your mind. You feel like that episode of Spongebob where all the file cabinets in your brain are catching aflame. You suddenly feel like you have no thoughts, but too many thoughts at the same time. 

Above all, one question rises above all the rest: how did Jungkook know? 

You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don’t hear your name being called. It isn’t until you feel a hand at your shoulder do you jolt. “H-Huh?” 

“S-Sorry.” Jungkook sounds a lot more nervous now. “You weren’t responding.” 

“I… I was thinking,” You reply lamely. 

A pause. “What’s your answer?” Were you talking about me?

You swallow. Should you tell the truth? Or should you deny everything with the hopes that Jungkook will forget this conversation ever existed? 

The words spill out before you can think of a proper answer. “What if I was?” 

Jungkook is quiet for a moment. “Well…” He starts up again, inching forward towards you. Every move he makes is amplified in your ear, every squeak of the mattress and every rustle of clothing echoed in the small space that is your hotel room. “I’d be kinda frustrated, to be honest. Because when I was talking about my own crush, it might have been about you.” 

At Jungkook’s confession, the world seems to come crashing down on you as everything around tries to catch up to you. Immediately, you assume that perhaps you hadn’t heard Jungkook correctly, or maybe you’re completely misinterpreting what he’s trying to say to you. 

In a perfect world, maybe you’d say something witty and smart. Maybe you’d play along until he snapped. Maybe you’d be fluent in courting talk and understand exactly what he’s trying to say to you. 

But this isn’t a perfect world, and you are neither witty nor smart. You most certainly are not aware of flirtations. You need boys to be as straightforward as possible. Which is why you utter the most comprehensible: “What?” 

You feel a warmth at your hip—Jungkook’s hand against your skin. “Ahhhh.” Jungkook starts, not at all sounding fearful but rather casual. Still the underlying case of shyness, however, because this is still Jungkook. “I forgot you sometimes need simple things spelled out for you. Remember when you emailed our Arts History professor three times because you kept forgetting what font she wanted the assignment in?” 

You flush—Arts History was the class you and Jungkook were forced to pair up together for. Maybe you would have protested it more had you known Jungkook would turn out to be a little shit over it. “That was a one time thing! You’ve been bringing it up for as long as I’ve known you!” 

Jungkook giggles, pulling you closer so your face is against his collarbone and his chin rests on your shoulder. “Shh, okay, okay, I’m sorry.” 

Your face is burning at the feeling of your bodies so close together, your fingers pressed against his shirt and your nose against his skin. He smells like floral fabric softener. “Jungkook…?” You whisper softly, breath fanning his neck. 

Jungkook tilts his head to rest gently against your temple. He stays quiet for a moment, absorbing the moment. “If you did have a crush on me in college, it would be frustrating. Because I had a crush on you too.” 

This time it’s straightforward, just like how you’ve always wanted it. Why can’t you seem to reply? 

“Oh.” 

“I know.” 

You curl your fingers around Jungkook’s shirt. “What if…” You start slowly. “What if I said I still had those feelings?” 

Jungkook seems to think about his answer. “I’d say that I do too.” 

You swallow, nodding in a way that allows him to feel the movement. “Okay then.” 

Without a warning, Jungkook moves to curl his whole arm around your frame. This brings you even closer together. He noses your hairline. “Go to sleep,” He whispers softly. “We can talk about this tomorrow.” 

A part of you wants to say no—that holding off on confessions isn’t what happens in novels or tv shows or movies. But the larger part of you knows that you won’t be able to have a proper discussion like this when you are weak, tired, and vulnerable. Your heart stalls at his consideration, allowing yourself to be content just like this: asleep, cuddling with Jeon Jungkook as you’ve imagined since you first developed your crush. 

It’s much better than the fantasy. 

.

You wake up the next morning with Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you, his soft breathing against your neck and his lips dusting the skin of your neck. There’s a new kind of comfort you find being held like this, and a part of you wants to melt back into his arms. You think you can pretend to be asleep just to stay here a little longer, but the urgency you have to pee and get the day started becomes too pressing. 

Your previous assumptions of Jungkook being a heavy sleeper are confirmed as you manage to untangle yourself from him without so much as a whine from his end. By the time you finish with the bathroom, Jungkook is just beginning to push himself into a sitting position. 

You linger near the foot of the bed. “Good morning,” You greet, almost nervously. For good reason to—the memory of last night is vague but defined well enough where you aren’t sure what the next course of action should be. It’s not like your college ever offered a course about what to do when your crush admits to liking you back. 

Jungkook looks at you from across the bed. He gives you a small smile, a reassuring one. “Morning,” He says back. “How did you sleep last night?” 

You twist your hands together. “Pretty good, actually. How about you?” 

“Me too.” He adjusts his position so he can crawl over to you. He slides his legs over the side of the bed right next to you. He brings his hands towards you, palms up. Although he’s close enough to reach you, he doesn’t. Instead, he asks: “Can I?” 

You don’t say anything, you merely rest your hand in his. He tugs you towards him, stopping only when you’re standing between his legs. He still keeps his fingers curled around yours, turning your hand up to play with your fingers. 

He looks up at you, a soft smile across his lips. “Hi.” 

You smile back. “Hi.” 

He laces your fingers together, resting them between your bodies. “I guess now for the bigger question… how are you feeling?” 

You look down at your hands, deciding you like the way his larger hands cover yours. “H-How did you know I was talking about you?” You ask instead, looking over at him. 

Jungkook shifts his gaze away for a moment. “I don’t know,” He admits earnestly. “You were just looking at me back at the flower field and I had a feeling. And I really think a part of me was hoping you were talking about me.” 

Unable to help yourself, you feel the side of your mouth quirk up into a small smile. “What would you have done if I wasn’t talking about you?” 

He exhales in a laugh. “Honestly, I might have just driven out in the middle of the night and gone over a bridge or something.” 

You laugh, trying to diffuse your smile by pressing your lips but it only works so well. “I was really surprised to hear you liked me back.” 

“Of course!” He exclaims, looking momentarily shocked that you would feel this way. “I wasn’t messing around when I said you were smart, funny, and easy to talk to. That’s what made me really like you when we first met. Whenever we talked you just felt so real and approachable—like I could just be myself around you. And even now, seeing you after graduating and realizing you’re still all of those things. It just makes me like you more.” 

You feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest. You’ve never thought of yourself in the way Jungkook is describing you—you always just assumed that you were in the background, that you’d never be enough. 

Jungkook is looking at you, his eyes big and wide and full of truth. “Is that weird?” He asks. 

You shake your head immediately. “No, no it’s not weird at all.” You shrug a shoulder, giving him a meek smile. “It’s really sweet, actually.” 

Jungkook grins at that, heaving out a breath as a sign of his lowered defenses. “I think you’re sweet too.” 

You groan at that, throwing your head back as Jungkook breaks into a series of giggles. “You’re corny.” 

“You’re not complaining,” He points out. This is true. 

You shrug. “I guess that means I’m expecting us to catch up on three years of terrible flirting.” 

The smile slides off his face. “You’re right.” He brings your joined hands closer together until your whole body is standing closer to his. “Can I ask to kiss you?” 

The four letter K word makes your heart stutter in your chest once more. Your hands are so close to his chest that you can feel his own heart beating, and the thought of Jungkook being equally nervous for this gives you enough confidence to return his question. “Why don’t you ask and find out?” 

He smiles, a bunny smile that crinkles his eyes. “Touche. Can I kiss you?” 

You smile back. “Yes…” You whisper, leaning down just enough for Jungkook to crane his neck up in order to meet each other halfway. It’s just a closed-mouth kiss, a soft weight against your lips.

It’s one that Jungkook pulls away from before you can really enjoy it, really ponder asking for more. “Sorry,” He says immediately, pointing to his mouth. “Morning breath.” 

The pair of you stare at each other for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. That tense atmosphere is gone, replaced inside with that previously casual and comfortable air—as you step away from Jungkook and let him get his morning started. Except this time, the air is filled with open lingering stares, shy smiles, and Jungkook taking your suitcase wordlessly as you exit your hotel room. 

By the time you load into your car, it’s nearing noon and the gas tank in Jungkook’s car is almost empty. The pair of you agree in another champion’s breakfast—gas station food. 

“I swear, we’re both going to have terrible breakout tomorrow during the wedding,” You point out. Despite your words, you still tear into your Nacho Cheese Doritos with the aggression of a gorilla. “I’m going to photograph horribly. Irene will be so embarrassed.” 

“You photograph horribly? Inconceivable!” He says the word just as it is said in The Princess Bride, which makes you burst into another fit of laughter. 

The afternoon pans out the same way it has for the past two days. Jungkook drives onto the freeway, you decide the music, and the conversations fade in and out. Neither of you talk about the events of the previous night or of what happened in the morning—but the way Jungkook reaches out to laces your fingers together is more than enough. 

The town Jungkook has selected to stop for the evening is a five hour drive from the wedding venue—and it’s an actual city space this time, with restaurants and grocery stores and apartments. As soon as Jungkook tells you this information, you are bursting with excitement. It’s been two days since the pair of you actually stopped and lingered in a city environment and you miss it. 

It takes another whole day of driving to reach the city destination, as the first alert you get is the increasing number of cars that have joined you on the freeway. These more busy freeways guide you into the city, where you are greeted with the first sight of buildings, sidewalks, restaurants, and parking lots in days. 

Even though most of these landmarks are simple flashes that you and Jungkook pass through on the way to the hotel he has selected, you keep your eyes glued out of the window in order to take in as much of the surrounding area as you can. You continue to watch as the immediate high rises become more sporadic and spread out, until he’s finally pulling into the hotel. The sun is just setting behind the many buildings along the horizon. Lots of other cars are parked in the parking lot. You can hear other cars, buses, and trunks driving around the background—and you feel strangely comforted by this discovery. 

“Are you okay with sharing another bed today?” Jungkook asks as he guides the pair of you into the lobby. “I may or may not have called to make a reservation earlier when you were in the bathroom.” 

You laugh, feeling giddy at the thought of Jungkook taking the initiative to continue progressing your now slow-growing relationship. “Was that all they had left?” You ask teasingly as you make your way to the counter. 

Jungkook smiles down at you. “Perhaps I didn’t ask…” 

Your lips part. “Jungkook!” 

“What?” He’s laughing now. “I think I’m gonna bow out of any excuse to cuddle with you now that you’ve given me a taste of what that’s like?” 

You’re gasping in the midst of your laughter. “You’re terrible,” You manage. 

So Jungkook checks in—true to his word, he has reserved a single full-sized bed for the room. 

“Hey, so, I was thinking,” He starts as he’s following the map provided to him by the employee with directions about getting to his appropriate room. This hotel is slightly bigger than the off-the-road ones you and Jungkook pulled into, so it takes a little longer to find the room. After a few minutes of turning the map over, you two eventually find the room. 

“What’s up?” You ask as you push open the door and roll your suitcase into the space, with Jungkook following closely behind you. 

“Come here,” Jungkook requests gently, watching as you let go of your suitcase and make your way towards him. You move into his space easily, allowing him to hold you by the waist. “Since we’ve both admitted to missing out on three years of courting, flirting, and dating—I think we should go out to an actual restaurant to have an actual date.” 

You lean back slightly and give him a slightly shocked look. “Really?” 

“Yes!” He says. “Besides, someone has to put their foot down and say that eating only McDonalds and gas station hot dogs is not the right way to go.”

You laugh at that. “True, but we were having so much fun!” 

“Nope!” He exclaims, shaking his head. “The foot is going down, we’re going to an actual restaurant for dinner. Get changed, take a shower, whatever you need to do to freshen up.” There’s a finality in his words as he finally steps away from you, the smile of sweetness still on his lips. 

The restaurant Jungkook picks after scrolling through Yelp and other lists of recommendations is a corner Italian place that apparently serves the best Linguini and clams—a dish that you really enjoy. So you put something together much more presentable than your usual round of sweatpants and baggy t-shirts—replacing the sweatpants with black jeans and giving yourself a cream colored cropped sweater. It makes Jungkook’s eyes widen all the same. He’s clad in his usual black jeans and oversized coat that is perfect for the spring breeze. 

Since the restaurant is within walking distance of the hotel, you and Jungkook agree to chill off on the driving just enough to stretch your legs and actually have a walk for once—all while celebrating the final night of the road trip. 

“I was a little worried about this at first, to be honest with you,” You admit softly to Jungkook, long after the pair of you have been seated in a corner booth and have ordered your food. You’re circling the pasta noodles around your fork, and Jungkook is watching with a touch of amusement and adoration in his eyes. 

“Not gonna lie, so was I,” Jungkook returns back with an equally meek smile. 

You gape at him. “You invited me though!” 

“I did!” Jungkook exclaims with a laugh, looking down at his own order of food. “Me inviting you was honestly a spur of the moment thing. Me catching up to you, however, was me trying to be brave.” 

“You seemed pretty brave throughout most the trip,” You point out 

Jungkook shakes his head, situating his arms in a cross motion. “Nah dude that was just all a very well thought out facade. A part of me was expecting it to go terribly so I could at least walk away knowing that I built you up in my mind and the fantasy of that was better than the reality.” He must see the look of uncertainty casting a shadow over your mind because he immediately cuts back in. “Just so you know, the reality is much better than anything I could have conjured up.” 

You lower your chin slightly, staring over at Jungkook. You bring one shoulder up into a half-hearted shrug, maybe to showcase a certain level of carelessness. “What were you conjuring up then?” 

“Oh, I don’t know if you want to go there right now,” He rebuffs, looking a little red in the cheeks. “I think we should start slow. Refer to the PG thoughts, if you will.” 

You laugh, focusing your gaze momentarily on the last of your pasta. You had sorted through the clams, since they weren’t your favorite things to eat. “Jungkook, are you admitting to me that you have thoughts above PG?” 

“Oh shit, that wasn’t my intention!” 

You giggle. “I’m messing with you, Jungkook!” 

He pouts. “Don’t do that.” He rests his hand on the table, palm up, inviting for you to take it. “I just want to spend today with you, and take it slow—I just want to hold your hand and kiss you and lay with you and just be with you in the way I couldn’t be with you in college. Is that too weird?” 

You look down, pressing your lips together, trying not to squeal and definitely not trying to throw yourself off the chair. You look back over at him and squeeze his hand. “That’s not too weird at all. That’s actually really sweet. Honestly, those are things I probably would have asked for regardless. I don’t really know the rules of dating—I never really went out that often.” 

Jungkook smiles sweetly back at you, he brings your hands up to kiss the back. “I’ll give you a few pointers then, let’s get going.” 

After the check is paid for—it ends up being a split between the two, it’s the best compromise you can come up with considering he wants to take you out but you want to pay him back for driving this far—the pair of you emerge back into the city space. Jungkook’s hand is still wrapped around yours, using that connection point to pull you close to him. 

“Now this move,” Jungkook explains, beginning to lead you both back to your hotel room. “Is when the gentleman walks the lady home, because their date went by smoothly and he wants to see her for as long as possible.” 

You laugh. “I’m enjoying this so far.” 

The pair of you continue down the sidewalk, using the time it’ll take to walk back to the hotel to walk off the food in your stomach. You resume your conversation, giggling and laughing all the same until you’re walking through the lobby of the hotel and slowly making your way to your hotel room. 

Right before you step inside, Jungkook stops you. “Normally, the front door is where the gentleman drops the lady off, and they talk about how well the date went.” 

“Oh, well, in that case, this was so nice, Jungkook,” You remark, beaming at Jungkook’s own smile. “I’m glad you convinced me to eat real food for once.” 

“You’re welcome—I had fun too.” Jungkook slides closer to you. You, completely hypnotized by his next movements, watch as he cups your face with his hand to angle you upwards. “This is the part where we have a first kiss, because the stars are lined up for this. And because I really want to.” 

You smile, curling one of your hands around the wrist near your face. “Seeing as we’ve already had our first kiss, how about a second one?” 

Jungkook smiles back, eyes lidded towards your mouth. “I guess that’ll work.” His lesson on dating, it seems, is done, as he leans in to kiss you. You suck in a breath as he covers your lips with his. It’s deeper than the first time he kissed you—which had been more of a peck with a side of morning breath. But now you’re both awake, tasting like wine, and drunk off each other. It’s a more real kiss. 

You whimper as Jungkook’s tongue runs over your bottom lip, before slipping into your mouth. It’s a sensation you can get completely lost in, until Jungkook pulls away. 

Under the hallway light, you can make out his flushed cheeks, his wet lips, his dark gaze. 

Immediately, Jungkook is pulling you to his side before he starts digging through the pockets of his jeans. “Alright, we’re going inside right now.” 

You lean into his shoulder. “I thought I was supposed to invite you inside, Jeon? What happened to giving me pointers on first dates?” 

“Screw that,” He retorts, practically shoving the hotel door open. He turns around to face you. “Now, this is our hotel room. And I want to kiss you in private.” 

Your laughter is drowned out as Jungkook tugs you by the wrist into the room. 

.

Under different circumstances, waking up next to each other after a first date would hit you with a wave of anxiety and maybe even a vague sense of embarrassment at letting someone you like see you in such a vulnerable position. 

Right now, however, under the morning sunlight within the covers of your shared hotel bed, you just feel happy and content. You wake up on your side, with an arm resting over Jungkook’s chest and his fingers curling around your own. There is an immediate feeling of giddiness that overtakes you, because it’s hard for you to believe that this is happening. Someone you’ve liked and continue to like actually returning your feelings? That has always been such a foreign concept to you. 

You don’t know how long you continue laying in bed until Jungkook starts shifting next to you, signalling his wake. You watch as his eyes slowly peel open, laced with grogginess but still looking unfairly attractive that there are butterflies in your stomach. 

Jungkook lets out a sigh, as he looks down at you. A tired smile takes over his expression. “Morning.” 

“Good morning,” You reply back, voice soft and a little shy. “Happy wedding day.” 

That is true. Today is Irene’s wedding—an event you and Jungkook will arrive at in nearly five hours. There’s a strange sort of knot that is beginning to twist itself in your stomach, a knowledge that something good is coming to a close but a fear in the unknown as to what this would mean regarding your relationship with Jungkook. Neither of you have laid down groundwork for your relationship—if this even is a relationship to begin with. You may be inexperienced with this kind of stuff, but you’re sure that one date and making out on a hotel bed doesn’t immediately constitute an exclusive relationship. 

If Jungkook notices the tension in your form, he doesn’t say anything. He kisses your temple and grumbles something about wanting to get the day started. He mentions something about not having to worry about getting dressed for the wedding straightaway—that he has reserved a room at the hotel some of the guests of the wedding would be staying at, which is where you will be getting ready before the event. You nod, hearing pieces of his words, but a lot of it gets lost in your own thoughts. 

Is it okay to ask questions about where you stand with Jungkook? Is it foolish of you to even bother wondering? You’ve seen movies and have had conversations with friends about guys who dismissed questions like that as ‘moving too fast’. You don’t want to scare Jungkook off, but you also need to know that you’re not wasting your time.

You remain in bed, staring up at the ceiling as you sigh and try to organize through your thoughts. You also try to break down how the past three days have been. 

However, trying to do so proves to be a difficult challenge, as Jungkook’s phone starts buzzing excessively on his side of the nightstand—it seems like he is getting a series of text messages from someone. 

You know you shouldn’t be looking or prying, but the constant binging of alerts only eats at your nerves more. You turn in the bed towards Jungkook’s side, picking up the device to search for the silence switch along the sides. The screen, however, lights up and you immediately see a name you have not seen or heard since college. 

Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts 

Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think 

Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :) 

You freeze, feeling your body overload with information and questions come flooding into your mind. At first, you think you reread the message wrong. You think that maybe Jennie is texting the wrong person. But after the third or fourth time, you realize that this isn’t a dream. That Jungkook already has a plus one to the wedding, and it isn’t you. 

More than that, it’s Jennie. 

Jennie is also someone you went to college with, and someone that you only heard of between the grape vines and therefore is someone that is only vaguely recognizable. But you definitely know her. Jennie had been one of Irene’s friends, president of her sorority—and labeled some of the nicest people on campus. Even just from rumors and the one time you ran into her around the school, you can see it. Jennie is nice, beautiful, friendly, and outgoing. All the things you are not. 

And now, she’s Jungkook’s plus one to the wedding. And Jungkook did not tell you. 

Your lips part as your head starts to spin. Why didn’t Jungkook tell you he already had a plus one to Irene’s wedding? Maybe he did not owe you the explanation, and maybe you should never have assumed he’d be your plus one to the wedding. 

The thought of you assuming Jungkook would be your date to the wedding fills you with a vague mortification—why did you have to go ahead and assume? 

Your mind starts to spiral as you fall into the depths of overthinking. Now you were set to attend a wedding alone, with no plus one, and surrounded by people you don’t know. All while watching Jungkook sit with Jennie, eat with Jennie, and dance with Jennie. 

Holy fuck, holy fuck, what were you going to do? You can’t go to this wedding alone. You can’t confront Jungkook about this—you’re not even supposed to be touching his phone or looking through his phone. He would definitely be upset. How could he not be? 

At once, the tears collect in your eyes. How could this be happening? Seconds ago, you had been so content and happy, excited to attend this wedding with Jungkook. Seconds ago, you had been confident about your feelings, and Jungkook’s feelings in return. From all the kisses he showered you in, the date, the talking, the confessing—how could you not feel that way? 

Had Jungkook just been pulling your leg? After all, he did have three years to talk to you, to go out with you. Why hadn’t he said something sooner? Is he here right now: talking to you and laughing with you because he hadn’t found anyone and knows that you would do anything for him? 

In the background, you can vaguely make out the shower in the bathroom turn off, signalling Jungkook’s near completion with the bathroom. At once, it feels like you’re in a car that has enforced sudden breaks and has sent you flying against the dashboard—like you can’t breathe. 

Hastily, you rest Jungkook’s phone back on the nightstand and roll back over to your side of the bed. You blink quickly, trying to rid of the tears that have collected in your eyes while also trying to calm the lump in the back of your throat. 

Just as you’re starting to get a handle back on your feelings, the bathroom door opens and you can vaguely make out Jungkook’s humming as he exits. The fact that he sounds so carefree while you’re hurting only a handful of feet away almost makes the tears come back in. But you’ve learned how to hide your emotions well. 

Jungkook’s soft laugh brings you out of your thoughts. “Still in bed?” He asks jokingly, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on your ankle. You try not to stiffen at the gesture. “You know, even though we’re getting dressed at a different hotel, we still need to get going.” 

You take in a breath. “I’m comfortable here,” You exclaim, sitting up and facing Jungkook. He’s looking as wide-eyed, easy-going, and comfortable as always. You’re not sure how long you can keep up the facade of being okay. “I was just waiting for you, that’s all.” 

You don’t wait for him to reply as you slide off the bed, grab your clothes from your suitcase, and lock yourself in the bathroom. You ignore the lump in your throat as you brush your teeth, as you get your day started. Finally, you look up at your own reflection in the mirror. Unlike previous times, when there had been a glimmer to your gaze—you don’t know you recognize the now disheartened individual before you. 

You exit the bathroom and immediately turn to pack up your suitcase once more, ignoring Jungkook in the process. The boy is on his phone, typing something—probably a text message. Maybe he’s responding to Jennie, confirming their date for tonight, as he remains completely oblivious to your feelings. 

The thought brings the tears back to your eyes. 

“Ready to go?” Jungkook asks, all smiles and soft eyes as he slides off the bed to face you. 

You don’t look at him as you shoulder your carry-on bag and straighten into a standing position. “Yeah.” You don’t mean for the tone to come out dry and unresponsive, but you’re too focused on trying to get the tears out of your throat. 

You miss the way the smile slowly slips off Jungkook’s face as he watches you move towards the door. 

Jungkook moves towards you, reaching forward to take your suitcase from you just as he’s done for the past few days. 

You, however, brush him off. “It’s okay, Jungkook.” You pull open the door and make your way down the hallway without looking back to see if he’s following closer behind you. You don’t need his help, you don’t need his pity. You don’t need him to do these things, to lead you on—especially if he was going to end up with some other girl at then end of the day. 

You stay quiet as you make your way to Jungkook’s car. Jungkook steals the occasional glance in your direction, seeming to finally realize that something is wrong. 

He, however, doesn’t say anything until you’re back on the freeway—on the five hour drive towards the wedding venue. “Everything okay?” 

You’re playing with your hair, but you stop long enough to spare him a short glance. You’re not even looking at his face, you’re looking at the chair he’s seated on. “What do you mean?” 

Jungkook clears his throat. “You’ve been really quiet since I got out of the bathroom. You…” He gestures to the center console. “You’re not even playing any music.” He tries for a smile. “I’d really like to listen to your ‘everything’ playlist.” 

“Sorry, I’m not really in a music-listening mood right now,” You whisper, realizing that you should probably cover up your ass a little better than you are currently. “S-Sorry, I think it was something at the restaurant yesterday. I’m not feeling super hot right now.” 

“Oh no, do we need to stop by a pharmacy or something? I can run in and get some stomach machine or whatever—!” 

“Jungkook, it’s fine.” 

Maybe it’s the finality of your tone, or the sharper edge in your voice, but Jungkook quiets down again. One glance in his direction shows you the furrow of his eyebrows, the set of his jawline—he looks hurt and confused. And that kills you inside. 

A small part of you wants you just lay all your cards on the table—to admit your side of the story and let him know about the texts and the hurt feeling still eating itself at your heart. 

But another part of you, the bigger part of you, doesn’t want to give Jungkook that power. You don’t want to be the one to crack first, to be the one who gets hurt first. So you refuse to say anything, settling deeper and deeper into the seat of Jungkook’s car. Contrary to your initial thoughts, he doesn’t plug in his own phone to play his own music. He simply allows the pair of you to bathe in silence. 

Without the music to distract you, without Jungkook trying to make conversation, it forces your mind to linger on the events of the early morning. Maybe Jungkook didn’t tell you because it was obvious to him that the pair of you would never have been a plus one to the wedding in general. He’s probably hurt because Jungkook can’t get his way with you. 

The realization that he doesn’t even have the consideration to warn you ahead of time that an invitation for a ride doesn’t equate to an invitation to be a plus one brings the tears back to your eyes. Did you not even deserve a warning? Why would Jungkook let you kiss him, let you fall in love with him—only to turn his back on you like this? 

You have to keep your eyes glued to the window of the passenger’s side of the car, just to make sure Jungkook won’t see the tears. You can just imagine that he’ll ask, and the conversation will steer the pair of you into an even more awkward space. 

It’s a very agonizing five hours. Not having that time to recover from the shock of those texts is becoming increasingly more difficult for you to handle. 

There are a few times that your tears overwhelm your whole system, where you have to sniff to get a handle on your body’s response to the emotions going through your body—which you’re sure Jungkook can hear. After all, there’s no music playing and there is a silence that is threatening to swallow you whole. 

Jungkook, however, does not say anything in response to your very obvious sniffle. He merely tightens his grip on the steering wheel, and keeps his mouth shut. You wonder if he’s waiting for you to talk first, to explain what’s going on with you. 

The sky is bleeding orange by the time Jungkook pulls into the new hotel, the final hotel. There is still two hours until the wedding is set to start, but every nerve in your body is screaming for you to leave and go back home. Every nerve in your body is telling you that you don’t belong here anymore. 

“Okay, I let you have your peace for the whole drive over,” Jungkook starts off, voice tight, fixing the car into park. “But I’m asking you this right now. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem fine… and I’m worried about you…” He reaches across the car to land a hand on your shoulder. It’s a completely normal gesture, especially between you and Jungkook, but you cannot handle it. 

You jerk away. “I’m fine,” You snap out, actually fixing your gaze on him this time. Jungkook recoils, immediately retracting his arm from you, looking like you just burned him. You tear your gaze away from him. You’re not strong enough to see him hurt because of you. “Why do you care anyways?” 

Jungkook exhales in disbelief, turning towards the steering wheel of the car and running a hand through his hair. “What are you talking about? Is this about last night? Did I… say something to scare you off?” 

“This isn’t about what you said, this is about what you didn’t say and what you’re not telling me!” 

Jungkook looks like you just grew a second head. “What are you talking about?” 

You whirl back to face him. “Oh, so the fact that you and Miss. Jennie were already set to go to this fucking wedding together and you didn’t even think to give me a heads up and tell me?” 

Jungkook freezes like a deer in headlights. “What? How did you know about that?” 

You laugh, but it’s a hollow noise that only makes that lump come back to your throat. “Nevermind,” You bite out. This time, you don’t stop the tears from resurfacing as you give Jungkook a full look this time. His demeanor changes from frozen to pained at the sight. “I hope you guys are very happy together.” 

You don’t say another word as you fumble with the latch of the door before pushing it open with more strength than necessary. You can vaguely hear Jungkook struggling with his own seat belt, but you don’t care. You slam the car door shut and storm away. You don’t know where you’re going—maybe around the corner to scream, or to call a taxi that’ll take you to the airport. You don’t care about the wedding. You don’t think you could face the embarrassment in facing Jungkook or Jennie or Irene right now. 

“Shit, Y/N! Y/N!” Jungkook is calling for you now, his footsteps loud against the asphalt. 

Everything feels like you’re going through water, which is probably why Jungkook is able to reach you as quickly as he does. He catches you by the wrist. 

“Y/N—please, will you stop and just listen to me?” 

“No! Jungkook, let me go.” You start trying to tug your wrist, trying to pull yourself away from him. “Let me go! I’m leaving! I don’t want to see you anymore!” You’re gasping, the tears blurring your vision and making you feel powerless. 

Without a warning, Jungkook pulls you in his arms. Wrapping his arms around you, he traps you in his embrace. And you are miserable. 

“Stop it!” You gasp, trying to push him away. You’re heaving—crying and trying to escape from someone as strong as Jungkook is definitely a workout for your body. “Jungkook, leave me alone. This is all my fault.” 

He pauses. “What do you mean?” 

You stop struggling, allowing Jungkook to hold you as you pull back enough to look away from his face. You wipe at the tears on your face. “It’s my fault anyways. I said I liked you and you said you liked me too, but maybe that wasn’t enough for you. Just because we like each other doesn’t mean we’re exclusive. I should have asked up front, so I wouldn’t get hurt in the long run.” 

“You don’t need to get hurt though,” Jungkook whispers kindly, his voice overcoming the blood in your ears, as well as your own yelling. You quiet down at that, except for your own lungs contracting to catch more air. This leaves you a hiccuping mess. He waits until he knows you’re not going to say anything next. “You’re right, okay? Jennie and I were supposed to be each other’s dates.” 

You’re still trying to catch your breath. 

Jungkook rests a hand on top of your head, curling his fingers through the strands of your hair soothingly. “Are you okay?” 

You hiccup. “Why are you telling me this? I just told you that I’m hurt right now…” 

“Shhh.” Jungkook pulls back and cups your face in his hands so you can look at him. “You aren’t listening to me. I said we were supposed to be each other’s dates. We’re not anymore.” 

You blink, allowing the tears that were already filling your eyes to fall down your cheeks. Jungkook wipes them gently with his thumb. “What?” 

Jungkook’s gaze flickers between your eyes. “Jennie and I are friends, so we’d figure it would be fun to just go together and have a person to sit with, eat with, and dance with. As friends.” 

“W-What happened then?” You ask, a watery color in your voice. 

Jungkook gives you a gentle smile, the kind of gesture that tells you that you should know the answer already. “You happened, silly.” He keeps his eyes on yours. “I saw you at the party with Jimin and invited you to come with me. I assumed when I asked that we’d be each other’s plus ones. I forgot to tell Jennie though when I asked you out.” He tilts his head at you. “You saw the texts on my phone, didn’t you?”

“I-I’m sorry.” You hiccup again. “Your phone kept going off this morning and I was just trying to put it on silent. I-I didn’t mean to look through your messages…” 

“Shh, baby, you’re good, you’re okay.” Jungkook interrupts gently, wrapping his arms tighter around you and swaying the pair of you back and forth. The usage of the nickname fills you with a new feeling, a warmer feeling. It helps calm you down. 

Your breathing eventually evens out, bringing you back to reality and to the realization that you and Jungkook are hugging in the middle of a hotel parking lot. 

Jungkook loosens his grip on you, letting you step back. He watches you for a moment. “Here,” He says, digging through his pocket and pulling out his phone. “I think you should see this.” He clicks through a few of his apps, until he seems to find what he’s looking for because he hands the phone to you. You look over at him, confusion flooding through your features. Jungkook gives you a reassuring nod. “It’s okay.” 

Still hesitant, you take the phone and look at the messages across the screen. It’s the texts from this morning. 

Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts 

Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think 

Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :) 

Jungkook (10:20AM): hey Jennie !! oh shit i totally forgot to let u know but i actually found a plus one :( i’m soooo sorry i should have told you earlier omg i feel terrible 

Jennie (10:20AM): no worries jungkook !! who is it omg do I know them? 

Jungkook (10:20AM): it’s actually Y/N? We all went to college together… 

Jennie (10:20AM): OH!!!! wait isn’t she the one Irene was working with a lot for senior projects? 

Jennie (10:20AM): OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Jennie (10:21AM): OKAY JUNGKOOK I SEE U 

Jennie (10:21AM): she’s THE Y/N right???? the one u were in love with for our entire college career?? 

Jungkook (10:22AM): …… maybe? 

Jennie (10:22AM): WOWOWOWOW good for u Jungkook !!! glad to see u finally having the balls to ask her out !! 

Jungkook (10:22AM): OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH 

Jungkook (10:23AM): I actually felt BAD for leaving you by yourself BUT NOT ANYMORE 

Jennie (10:23AM): LMAO Jungkook I’m friends with Irene’s entire bridesmaid row i’ll be fine 

Jennie (10:23AM): just go get ur dick wet!!!!!! 

Jungkook (10:23AM): istg i will leave you on read 

Jungkook (10:23AM): also that is NOT the point!!!!!! Just wanna love my new girl :( 

Jennie (10:24AM): You’re gross 

Jennie (10:24AM): but sounds good see you tonight! 

You look up from Jungkook’s phone to see him watching you carefully, gauging your reaction, pleading for you to forgive him. 

The only thought that can be translated into a coherent sentence comes out: “You were in love with me during college?” 

Jungkook exhales in a laugh, his arms finding your waist once again. “I think ‘in love with’ was a bit of a stretch back then. I think you could agree that we didn’t know each other well enough before for me to say that.” 

You’re still looking at him. “Back then…?” You echo. 

He nods. “Back then.” He brings you closer, one hand moving up to gently brush at the skin of your cheek. “But it’s different now. Now, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m in love with you.” 

Your lips part. “You’re in love with me?” The tears spring back into your eyes, but for a different reason entirely. The emotional rollercoaster you have just been on is unbelievable. 

Jungkook’s eyes widen at the sight of your tears. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! Is that too fast? I’m sorry, I should have given you a warning or something. Or more time at least. Oh no, please don’t cry…” 

You brush him off with a watery laugh, waving his concern away. “It’s okay Jungkook. This is fine, really.” You give him a smile. “I love you too. I really thought you were pulling my leg or something.” 

Jungkook gives you his own small smile. “I’m sorry. I should have brought this up sooner about us being each other’s plus ones. Just because I assume something doesn’t mean it’s an established thing.” He brings you closer, his smile turning into a grin. “You love me too, huh?” 

You giggle. You’re too strung out to come up with something witty or clever. “Yeah…” 

Jungkook is still smiling, his gaze switching between your lips and your eyes. “I’m gonna kiss you now.” 

You nod. “About time.” 

He kisses you again, softly and sweetly, tongue slipping past the seam of your lips but it’s gentle caresses that make your heart feel like it’s crawling up your throat. 

“OH MY GOD GET A ROOM!” A voice calls from the other side of the parking lot, forcing you and Jungkook to pull away. The pair of you look at each other and you start to laugh. 

Jungkook kisses your forehead, sweeping down to your ear. “How about we check into our room and get ready?” 

You giggle, nodding over at him. “That sounds good.” 

So Jungkook leads the way, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you gather your suitcases from the car and enter the lobby. You check in easily, as Jungkook is provided a map with directions on how to reach the room. 

The pair of you don’t pull away once until Jungkook is sliding the key card into the door and pushing it open to reveal the bedroom you’ll be sharing for the night. 

Both you and Jungkook park your suitcases near the foot of the bed, as per usual. 

“Do you want to use the bathroom?” Jungkook offers. 

You nod, smiling softly. “Okay.” 

You gather the dress you’ve brought in your arms, about to enter the bathroom, before Jungkook’s voice stops you. “Hey,” He calls, approaching you and wrapping you in his arms again. He’s much more handsey this time, like he needs to make sure you’re not going to run away again, like you’re going to be okay. “You feel better now?” His thumb brushes your lips. “Your eyes are still a little red.” 

You nod. “The makeup will probably help that,” You reassure in a soft voice. 

Jungkook mirrors your movements. “Still, how about I get some ice for you so you can put something cold underneath your eyes… to stop the puffing.” 

He looks genuinely concerned and worried for your wellbeing that you can’t help but smile. Since he is insisting, you decide to just let him be. “Okay, Jungkook.” 

He smiles. “Okay! You start getting ready and I’ll get the ice, okay?” A quick kiss on your cheek before he’s bounding out of the door with the provided ice buckets. 

Your eyes linger on the door for a few minutes before you’re turning back to your suitcase. The dress you have picked is a pink flowing floor-length number—something Karly helped you pick out before leaving. It’s soft enough that it doesn’t leave crease marks along the fabric, which had made this outfit perfect for the trip. You take the dress and your bag of makeup before entering the bathroom. You’re just slipping on the dress when you hear the hotel room door open and close. 

“Okay, I got the ice!” Jungkook announces through the bathroom door. “Did you want to work on your eyes right now?” 

“Sure,” You call back. “Do you mind zipping me up first?” 

“Of course,” Jungkook returns, sounding distracting as you open the door to the bathroom. You peek your head through, noticing Jungkook opening his suitcase on the floor and sorting through it—probably for his own suit. 

He must hear the door open, because he looks up towards you. Immediately, his eyes widen as he straightens up into a standing position. “O-Oh wow…” He’s looking you over up and down, up and down, as if he needs to commit this to memory. “Y-You look great. Beautiful.” 

“Really?” You stammer back. “Thank you.” 

Jungkook keeps his eyes on you as he approaches you. “You needed me to zip you up?” 

“O-Oh right, yeah.” Hastily, you turn around, brushing the hair from your back to expose your undone zipper, and your bare back. 

You think that he purposely grazes the tips of his fingers against your skin in his process of bringing the zipper up to the top of the fabric. You’re about to turn, thank him, but his hands back at your waist do the gesture for you. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. You look really pretty.” 

You pout. “You’re being too nice to me.” 

Jungkook whines, hugging you close to him. “You’re too cute.” He noses at your temple. “I just wanted to see you smile.” He pulls away after a moment. “Let’s take care of your face, yeah?” He turns around and returns with a small baggy full of ice. “Here, sit down for a second.” He leaves for a second, returning back with a towel. “Maybe… five minutes each eye. I don’t know. I’ll get ready while we’re waiting.” 

So he takes his suit out from his case and disappears into the bathroom, leaving you alone with a towel of ice pressed against your eye. The cooling sensation definitely helps with the puffiness. 

Jungkook appears from the bathroom a few minutes later—dressed in a black suit with a white button-down and a long skinny black tie. His hair has been fiddled with a little, but he still has that messy, boyish, lovable appearance that makes your heart race. 

“Did you switch the towel?” 

You nod. 

“How do you feel?” 

Slowly, you bring the towel down and rest it on your lap. You look at Jungkook. “How do I look?” 

He leans forward towards you, holding your chin gently between his fingers. “You look better. Did you need to finish getting ready?” 

“Yeah. I just need to touch up my makeup.” 

“Okay, go ahead then.” 

Jungkook takes the towel, and watches as you make your way back to the bathroom. You’re only gone for a few minutes before you’re emerging once more—eyeshadow a little darker, lashes a little closer, and lips slightly pinker, but overall still looking like the same version of the girl he fell in love with. 

The pair of you drive to the wedding venue, a cute brick building with browns, greens, and whites surrounding. Guests already swarm the outside area, some of whom you recognize from college. The sight makes you nervous. 

Jungkook sees this, and he reaches over to grab onto your hand. “You can just stick with me, okay?” He smiles. “I’ll protect you.” 

You roll your eyes, but you are thankful to have Jungkook as your source of comfort and be that person you could run back to. 

He parks and meets you at the front of his car, where you lace fingers and make your way towards the venue. You go through a small round of hellos and ‘nice to finally meet you’ conversations—most notably from Mingyu and Jennie, both of whom light up at the sight of your presence. Contrary to your previous worries, you find that you don’t really need to be so nervous. Mingyu and Jennie are friends of Jungkook’s for a reason—they radiate a relaxing nature that you can tell is what has drawn the three of them to each other. 

They ask about you, your college experience, your current experience, passing easy conversation in the ceremony space right before the start of the wedding. It’s fun to see Jungkook joking around with the friends he grew up with, and even more fun to see how easy you are allowed into that world. 

The actual wedding ceremony is a blur. You vaguely recognize the extremely attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Seokjin at the head of the aisle. You definitely recognize the equally as attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Irene, downed in white lace and looking much more beautiful than you ever remember her. Vows are exchanged, kisses are shared, there’s an applause, and pictures are taken before the guests are ushered into the main entry room—decked out with a bar and a few scattered seating areas. Jungkook whispers to you that guests are put here temporarily, as the ceremony space is being converted into a dining area. 

True to Jungkook’s promise, he lingers by your side most of the night. Although you reassure him that you are fine, you are much more emotionally stable compared to a few hours ago, and that perhaps you are okay catching up with Nayeon—another girl from college, actually someone from the first party you ever attended who defended you when you were receiving unwanted attention—but Jungkook simply tells you that he likes being around you. He likes being able to put his arm around you, likes to rest his hand at your waist, likes people knowing that he has you. 

It’s a few more minutes of conversation, of laughter, of old stories being exchanged between people you haven’t seen for years, when the guests are called back into the newly converted dining area. Instead of rows of chairs lined up, there are round tables filling the space. The long panel of doors once closed along the wall of the room have been opened—exposing a gazebo with a D.J. and a dance floor, all encircled by a string of big bright fairy lights. 

You and Jungkook are situated at the same table as most of the guests you recognize from college. You assume this is purposefully done to give you all a common ground, and it works because conversations spring easily between you all. Even when you’re not talking about your experiences from university, you’re able to transition from topic to topic. You and Jungkook occasionally talk amongst yourselves as you’re eating, but you sit together and laugh together when Irene and Seokjin emerge and listen in during the wedding toasts. 

Finally, Irene and Seokjin make their rounds through the room, stopping at the tables to cheer and laugh and exchange a few words of congratulations and conversation. Following this process, everyone at your table stands on their feet as Irene and Seokjin make their way towards you. There are bright smiles, Irene’s cheerful gasp as she takes in all the guests that have come to join her. She circles your table, hugging every guest, continuing this when she reaches you. 

Irene grins at the sight of you. “Y/N! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long!” 

“I know!” You return, pulling away from Irene. “Congratulations. This wedding is beautiful.” 

She beams, absolutely radiating in her white dress and glittering makeup. “Thank you so much for coming! But oh my god, are the rumors true, did you really show up—!” She looks over your shoulder, and grins again. “Jungkook!” She hugs Jungkook. “I should be saying congratulations to the two of you. I was surprised to get the text from Jungkook saying that you guys were coming as each other’s dates. Gave me a whole pain because I had to switch some seats around at the last minute. But anything for my favorite people.” She turns to you and holds onto your arms. “Jungkook has had a crush on you for years, so you’re really doing him a huge favor.” 

“Okay, enough,” Jungkook interrupts, scowling. But there is still that playful look in his eyes. “Did all your friends know about this? Jennie knew something was up too when I texted her.” 

Irene presses her lips together. “Mingyu might have mentioned something.” She presses her hand to Jungkook’s cheek. “Stay safe, you guys. Hope you enjoy the rest of the night.” She moves onto her next guest. 

Jungkook is groaning. “Remind me to never tell Mingyu anything ever again.” He glares at the boy from across the table. “Gonna fling some peanuts at that son of a bitch.” 

You laugh, wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s waist. “Oh, let him be. It’s Irene’s wedding. You can get him tomorrow.” 

Jungkook pouts, but he does wrap his own arm around your shoulder. “Ah, love my girl—promoting evil behavior after festive events.” He kisses your cheek as your table takes their seats once more. 

The good natured atmosphere continues as you and Jungkook down your food, remaining fully engaged in the conversations happening around the table. After another hour of this, the DJ announces the start of the married couple’s first dance. Irene and Seokjin take to the dance floor and spin around, her white dress flowing around the room like light. Underneath the glow of the fairy lights, it looks like the couple is in an entirely new world. And you are so taken by it. 

Jungkook does not turn to you until the DJ plays a slow song—a first slow song after a series of upbeat dance and pop genres. He jerks his head towards the dance floor. “You want to dance?” 

You take his hand when he offers. “Of course.” He leads you across the room, towards the gazebo, where several other couples have moved to cling to one another. Jungkook pulls you in: one hand on your waist and the other with your own hand. “This is really nice,” You start off. 

Jungkook laughs. “The wedding, or the dance?” 

You smile over at him. “Both. Being able to slow dance with you, however, is marginally better.” 

Jungkook is quiet for a little after that. He seems content just staring at your eyes, taking in the magic of this moment. “Thank you for coming with me,” He starts. “The whole road trip thing. Definitely would not have been as fun if I did all that by myself.” 

“Well, thank you for inviting me,” You return. “Even though we had that big misunderstanding. I had a lot of fun.” 

“Hey.” Jungkook angles his head a little so he can look at you in the eyes. “You know that I would never hurt you, right? You’re too important to me that I wouldn’t even think to pull some stupid shit like that again. You know that I love you too much to do that to you, right?” 

“I do know now,” You say, gazing over at him. “And I love you too.” 

You’re not usually an expressive person. But it’s worth saying those words just to see the grin that overtakes Jungkook’s face. It’s worth even more when he leans forward, kissing you openly in front of all his friends, nibbling gently at your bottom lip, running his tongue over the wound, and into your mouth. It’s worth it to have his fingers dusting sweetly over your skin, coaxing your mouth to open to allow exploration. 

It feels like worlds pass before Jungkook pulls away, giving you that breathless smile dimple and all, before he’s leaning forward to bury his face into your neck. 

“I think the drive home will be fun,” Jungkook mutters softly. 

“Hm?” You hum, eyes closed as he presses tiny kisses along your neck. 

“Most definitely,” Jungkook says, lifting himself just enough so that his lips hover over your ear lobe. “Because I plan on fucking you in every hotel bed for the rest of the trip.” 

You feel your heart race, your cheeks heat. Yes, this was definitely worth it. 

[dracowars]

the right thing | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 3,0k

summary: where y/n does the only right thing, much to the dismay of everyone else

a/n: i had this idea in mind for so long and finally managed to bring it to life, enjoy <3

warnings: angst, mentions of death, mentions of childbirth, torture, mentions of blood

universe: harry potter

"Darling, are you listening to me?", your father's voice tears you out of your dreamy, peaceful thoughts and you silently direct your gaze from the nature outside, which is quickly passing by, to him. As an answer you nod, even though you were definitely not listening a bit.

"Very good! I am so incredibly proud of my grown up daughter", he smiles at you and takes off the glasses he used to read out what is written on the parchment in his hand to you when you were not listening.

You do not answer or show a reaction, causing your father to clear his throat nervously before looking down while you switch your own gaze back out of the moving carriage.

As much as you would like to believe what he is saying, you can't. This man has ruined your entire life and is now only trying to make up for it with his stupid niceness and courtesy. Just like he always has, knowing that you will never forgive him for what he did.

The sudden waggling of the carriage makes you assume that you have arrived and at that very moment you recognize the large creaking gate that leads into a wide avenue to a huge mansion. The Malfoy Manor.

Your pureblood family has been very influential for generations, just like the Malfoys, so it not really surprising that you and Draco immediately befriended each other in your first year at Hogwarts. A friendship that soon became more than that.

What you did not expect, however, is that you would get engaged to each other just as quickly.

Your parents wasted no time after learning about your relationship. After all, it would mean the continuation of the purity of your families as well as the union of two of the most influential families in the whole wizarding world. And it was clear for both of you that you were lucky to have met, because otherwise you would probably have married someone you would not have loved with your whole heart.

And yet, you are not happy.

The creaking of the carriage door opening by magic, makes you flinch before you follow your father out and are now standing in front of the huge building you have already visited several times. One of the house elves leads you to the large front door and another leads you through the halls of Malfoy Manor, past the numerous locked doors and through sparsely furnished corridors.

As soon as you arrive in the long, dark dining room, your breath gets stuck in your throat when you look over your father's shoulder, only to see many faces that you would not have expected to see here. Especially not the face of a specific someone since you originally assumed that you would only gather here to discuss more wedding preparations.

"Oh, how nice! The Y/L/N family has finally made it", the Dark Lord grins devilishly, locking his cold eyes with you, and your father bows respectfully before you two sit down at the wooden table, directly across from Draco and his parents. He throws you an unsettling glance and your pulse rises immediately.

"Very well. Now that we are complete, let us begin", Voldemort speaks up treacherously while strutting around the end of the table, his wand openly displayed in his pale, bony hands.

If there is one wizard in this entire universe that you can't stand, it is definitely him, even though you are a Death Eater and thus belong to his close entourage.

But you never had a choice.

Your mother died during childbirth, but your father had already foreseen it and did not want it to come true. In order to prevent this, he ran to Voldemort and his people to beg for help. He so gladly granted him his wish, but only on the condition that his only daughter and heir to the wealthy Y/L/N family will become a Death Eater at the age of sixteen. And so it happened.

Of course he was not able to rescue your mother from death, but you are not sure whether you would be sitting here at this table right now without his help or if you would not have survived the birth either. Whatever it is, you do not know what you would have preferred.

All in all, you harbor an abysmally hatred for this man as well as for your own father, who simply sold his daughter to the evil in person. For nothing but an empty promise.

In your eyes this man is not and never will be your father. To you, he is nothing more than a ridiculous, old and bitter coward.

You hear Voldemort keep talking in the background, but his words do not go inside of your head and you just emotionlessly stare at Draco on the other side, who switches his intimidated gaze between you and the other end of the table. Only when you follow his gaze do you understand why he has this kind of an expression plastered all over his face.

At the other end, across from the position where Voldemort is currently making his hate speech against Harry Potter, a terrible looking woman hangs upside down from the ceiling, softly whimpering. Floating in the air by a spell, she moves around a bit and if it were not for her making quiet noises, you would have thought she was dead.

But when her empty gaze meets yours, an ice-cold shiver runs down your spine. It is Mrs. Burbage, your Muggle Studies teacher. You almost did not recognize her because of her distorted appearance. Her pale, lifeless face, however, seems to be staring at you, almost piercing through you, making you feel like it is your fault that she is hanging there.

You quickly turn away from her and look down at the empty table, which suddenly seems much more interesting than anything else in the room while you try not to let the deep, ingrained shock show. Taking in a deep breath, you only lift your head up again when a silver snake's head is thrown on the table, frightening you for a second.

Apparently Voldemort has just damaged Lucius Malfoy's wand in order to use it himself. The look on Lucius' face makes you shudder again. You have never seen him like this before and you have had to spend a lot of time with him and the other Death Eaters already.

Just as shocked as you are, Draco is as well while looking to his father. Draco, like you, never wanted to become a Death Eater, but his father's failures eventually forced him into this position and now you are both bound to the same horrible fate, caused by your own fathers.

While Voldemort continues to drag their family name into the dirt with his words, you and Draco just look at each other intensely. As if you could understand what is going on in the others' mind.

At least until a green spark flies across the table in the middle of you two and Nagini snakes over it shortly afterwards. Unnoticed, you move your chair back a litte. Already suspecting what is going to happen, you turn your head away and try to block out the disgusting and disturbing noises that are triggered by killing one of your favorite teachers.

In the end, however, you are unable to take it any longer, getting up and running out of the room with your head and shoulders lowered, but you can still hear how the Dark Lord declares the meeting finished as you run down the stairs. Holding your hand in front of your mouth, your insides make a flip and you feel incredibly sick all of a sudden when you come to a stop in one of the hallways.

Startled you turn around when you hear your name behind you, but as soon as you recognize that it is Draco who followed you, you crash into his arms and he catches you, protectively holding you against him.

"D-Draco", you bitterly sob into his chest and he just hugs you tighter, trying to calm you down.

"Shh, love. I know, I know", he silences you softly and puts his hand on the back of your head while you remain in this position for a few minutes. Until you hear your father's annoying voice.

Moving away from Draco and straightening your posture, you look in the direction from where your father is now running towards you, Narcissa closely behind him.

"Darling, there you are! I will go back home now and you will have a nice time here", he happily announces, not even noticing how miserable you are. But what else did you expect from him?

"We will take good care of her, don't worry", Narcissa smiles, but it does not quite reach her eyes and therefore stays cold. Your father seems satisfied by her answer and, together with all the other Death Eaters, leaves.

"I will make us some tea", Narcissa clears her throat and you follow her into the salon, your hands intertwined.

A few days later Draco and you comfortably lay on the couch in front of the big fireplace in the afternoon, an open book about potions in your lap, your head leaned against his broad shoulder. As you continue to rummage through your book, Draco gently takes your hand in his and smiles down at you before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

Your little moment of peace and contentment, however, is quickly destroyed again when Bellatrix's crazy laugh echoes through the room.

"Draco, Y/N, my darlings! I searched for you everywhere", she giggles as she strolls towards you, pressing her wand against her temple as she stops in front of the sofa. You expectantly look up at her, waiting for her to explain why she so rudely interrupted your moment.

"Bellatrix! What is going on here?", Lucius suddenly rushes in after her, Narcissa following him, so that you are all gathered now.

"Oh! I assume you have already met our lovely guests", Bellatrix laughs and, as if on cue, two more men enter the living room. Death Eaters. Deeply breathing in shock, you abruptly get onto your feet when you discover that they did not come alone.

Hermione, Ron and someone who somehow looks like Harry Potter but isn't, are pushed ahead of them until they are ungently thrown to the ground, right in front of Bellatrix's feet.

"Welcome, welcome", she licks her lips bloodthirstily, a playful laugh escaping her throat as your gaze meets Hermione's. There is nothing but disappointment in her eyes. Disappointed that you do not step in, that you just watch.

You avert your gaze and look at the other person and the longer you look at him, the more it becomes clear to you that this is Harry Potter after all. Terrible things have been done to his face that made you barely recognize him.

"Why are they here?", you choke out and Bellatrix turns to you in amusement, giggling while mockingly sulking as she presses her knife against Harry's throat.

"Why not? Well, Draco! Why don't you come over here and and take a closer look", she urges Draco and he slowly loosens his grip on your hand, not even realizing how hard you have squeezed his. He cautiously walks towards his aunt, even though you would like to stop him immediately.

"Come closer. What does he look like to you, huh?", she asks him and Draco stops right in front of them.

He hesitates.

Lucius suddenly stirs next to you and puts his hand on Draco's back, whispering something into his ear which you can't hear before he raises his voice out of nowhere when one of the Death Eaters intervenes. Narcissa manages to calm Lucius down though and pull him away from their son.

"Don't be shy, sweetie. Come over", Bellatrix persuades him and takes his hand to pull him closer to the disfigured Harry, giving him a better view. You can clearly see the fear in Harry's eye that is not swollen, and something deep inside of you keeps telling you that it would not be right to betray him. You are about to step in when Draco mutters under his breath for the first time since they entered the room, kneeling down in front of Harry.

"What is wrong with his face?"

"Yes, what is wrong with his face?", Bellatrix counters and adresses the two men, but you automatically block out their conversation, only being able to concentrate on Harry and Draco. Draco examines his face closely, but you are sure that he too immediately recognized that it is actually Harry. However, he gets up with a shake of his head and remains silent.

You just do not understand why he does not say anything.

Maybe he never wanted to become a Death Eater either, but still, you always had different views on Harry Potter and his Gryffindor friends. He loathed them since first year, and yet he does not betray him now.

The sudden screeching by Bellatrix and the following fighting noises release you from your numbness and you only see how she orders the now injured men to disappear, a silver sword in her hand that was not there before.

"Put the boys in the cell! I will have a conversation with this one", she angrily growls and pushes Harry and Ron to Narcissa and Wormtail, who take them to the basement. "Get out!"

Not being able to move from the spot, you stop and do not obey her instructions, making her give you an aggressive look until Draco quickly grabs your wrist and roughly pulls you away from the scene, Hermione now alone with Bellatrix.

You have just left the room when you hear a terrible scream from behind you and there is no doubt that it came from Hermione.

"What is she doing to her, Draco?", you furiously ask him and pull your hand out of his strong grip, a little too strong for your liking.

"I don't know. Let us go upstairs and-"

"No!", you interrupt him angrily and his eyes widen at your sudden outburst, not expecting it.

"No?"

"I am not just going to look away when someone is tortured!", you yell at him and immediately turn around to go back, but Draco stops you.

"You can't do anything for her, Y/N! It is the best idea if we just stay quiet and let it happen. I can't risk them harming you as well", he explains and his voice softens towards the end, almost gets vulnerable, which is why the tension in your body slowly fades.

"But Draco.. This is Harry Potter and if your aunt finds out about it, he is doomed!", you sadly whisper and place your hands on his chest, fists clenched.

"Do you think I do not know? I do not want them to get him either, but we have no choice if we want to stay safe, my love", Draco sighs and lowers his head in defeat, his left hand clasping and loosening your fist, the cold rings on his finger slightly touching your skin. "Promise me that you will stay safe here with me."

"I-I.. I promise", you nod and avert your gaze, unable to look in his eyes while uttering such a lie. However, Draco has no chance to say anything about it when in the next moment a loud clink shakes the walls of the mansion.

Throwing a shocked look at each other, you quickly return to the room and abruptly stop in the middle when you see Narcissa defending attacks by Harry and Ron. Lucius growls behind you and you see him laying on the glass table that probably was destroyed by the impact of his body hitting against it. You are about to pull out your wand when Bellatrix loudly yells.

"STOP!"

Everyone's gaze falls on the knife she is holding against Hermione's throat and you discover a bleeding wound on her forearm, the word 'mudblood' cut deeply into her skin. Bellatrix's work.

"Drop your wands!", she orders and shortly afterwards they fall to the ground. "Pick them up, Draco!"

With you by the hand, Draco quickly picks up their wands and leads you back to his parents, his body blocking you protectively as he stands in front of you.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here. It's Harry Potter", Bellatrix whisper-yells into Hermione's ear, who is trying to suppress her sobs while Harry's face is suddenly turning back to normal. "Just in time for the Dark Lord.. Call him!"

The last command coming from her mouth makes you swallow hard, but the lump in your throat won't go away. Especially not when all eyes are on you and Draco alone now. Their faces soaked in expectation and disappointment, it only intensifies the conflict within you.

"Call him!"

Releasing you from your suffering, Lucius steps forward when neither Draco nor you stir a single bit, pulls up his sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark on his forearm, the same one that painfully adorns your skin as well and always reminds you of who you have to obey. You see how the snake slowly winds around the skull and you look back and forth between him and Hermione, trembling.

"I am sorry, Draco", you breathe out barely audible, closing your eyes while doing so before letting go of his hand.

In a matter of seconds, you raise your wand, aim at the magnificent chandelier on the ceiling that is directly above Bellatrix and Hermione, and the following words fall off your lips with sudden ease.

"Confringo!"

All at once everything that happens next is like in slow motion. The huge chandelier crashes down onto the parquet, freeing Hermione from Bellatrix's grip and you are thrown to the ground as well. Raising your blurry gaze again, you see feet right in front of you and are suddenly pulled up onto your legs again.

By no other than Harry.

He brings you to the others and the last thing you see is the hurt, disappointment and heartbreak on Draco's pale face as you feel a stabbing, sharp pain from both your own broken heart and the dagger piercing through your skin that was thrown by Bellatrix before you vanish into thin air.

[skai6]

Hey, I saw your post asking for prompts :) I was thinking slight angst, with Jaskier trying to (not so) subtly let Geralt know of his feelings for him, but it doesn't work till Jaskier loses hope :) Happy ending, of course, cuz I have the angst endurance of a 5yo :)

Thanks for taking the time to do this :)

I didn’t know where I was going with this when I started but it checks all of the above! (Emphasis on Angst with happy ending)

------

It started with:

“You know, Geralt, I might have a thing for white hair and big swords.”

To which came the reply:

“Good for you.”

And Jaskier hasn’t stopped ever since. He would throw in a word or two at any given chance, compliment, tease, flirt, anything to get the witcher’s attention, to drill into that thick skull of his just how desperately in love Jaskier was with him. 

That, however, was easier said than done.

Two decades of trial and failure, Jaskier learned the hard way that it was perhaps not that Geralt was slow-witted, an idiot, a complete and utter fool, that on the contrary, the other might have understood the context, picked up the hints, but simply did not care enough to reciprocate. 

And oh did that realization hurt.

They spent their days on the road and Jaskier spent every second of it sulking. He was terribly mad, not at Geralt, but at himself, for being so blinded by the promise of hope that he did not see reason for the past twenty fucking years. Gods, if anyone was a fool out of the two, it had to be him.

Give it another decade or two, he told himself sarcastically, I’ll eventually get over the biggest rip-off of a fucking lifetime.

And when Jaskier was mad, he did not hesitate to burst out at every given chance. So, one evening, when Geralt returned from a hunt two hours later than planned, he found Jaskier at the inn’s rented chamber, waiting for him. Jaskier could smell it a mile away, the outrageous mixture of liquor and perfume, and that was it. The perfect opportunity - his chance to let out some steam. 

After twenty fucking years, he deserved it.

“Where in the gods have you been?” he yelled, standing with his hands on his hips, as if he had been waiting in that same posture for hours, boiling with the urgent need to start a fight. 

Geralt didn’t flinch at his tone. He clicked the door shut behind and began tiredly uncluttering his armour. 

“Beast’s taken longer to slay.”

And if Jaskier was not angry enough before, the lie did the rest of the work.

“Do I look like an idiot?” he scoffed, “No, really, do I?”

Geralt threw a skeptical gaze his way, said nothing, then returned to rearrange his armour on the dresser and marched to the bed to begin undoing his boots. 

Jaskier stamped after him.

“I’m talking to you, sir!” he yelled, “You can’t just leave me here and come back whenever you please! If you’re taking longer out there you ought to let me know! What am I? Your fucking wife?” 

Geralt grunted, and to Jaskier’s horror, he sounded amused.

“You find this funny? How dare you!” he spat, “And look at me when I’m talking to you!”

On the bed, Geralt kicked off his boots with a sigh and, at last, fixed his golden gaze on him. Calm and collected. To Jaskier - unbelievably infuriating.  

“What’s with you?” he said, “Got a horse’s hoof up your arse? Calm down.”

Jaskier’s anger only spiked.

“Calm down?” His voice raised an octave, and he threw his head back to force out an exaggerated laugh. “Oh dear, oh yes, but of course! How come I haven’t thought of it? The cure to all of my misfortune! Calming the fuck down! He goes out there doing gods know what, never telling me when he returns and I have to remain prettily seated like some fucking ornament, waiting for him. Listen here, you bastard. If there is one person in this room with a horse’s hoof up their arse, that’s you. And that whore of yours you’ve been fucking all night? My condolences to her expectations. She could do so much better than a butcher.”

And that last sentence, like a trigger, kicked Geralt off the bed and standing in an instant. Jaskier physically jolted in his skin when the other walked to him, jaw tight, glare burning with something that was a mixture of anger and hurt.

“Watch your mouth.”

Jaskier’s breath hitched, and the fool, the hopelessly, madly in love fool that he was, couldn’t help himself from answering.

“Or what? You’ll shut me up yourself?”

An irritated grunt. 

“I might.”

The room plunged into heavy, stifling silence. Jaskier could hear his heartbeats resonate in his ears. His anger was not as strong anymore, not when despair and ache and hurt came taking turns inside his heart. He felt his stomach turn. He felt he could cry.

On the outside, he showed none of it. His eyebrows furrowed, his lips curved into an insulting smirk.

“You witchers are all bark and no bite.”

And that was about what has done it.

Jaskier could not tell apart the second in which Geralt’s leg moved and the one in which his back was flattered against the nearest wall. His body kicked out a rush of adrenaline that forced him to send a whimper out in the open. Geralt picked up on his fear, his flaring eyes narrowed, his nose twitched. He was smelling him.

“You’re jealous.”

“Like fuck I a- Mm!”

A rough palm came pressing to his mouth, forcibly shutting him up. Geralt’s eyebrows furrowed. He was not done talking.

“I’ve been picking up hints for a while,” he said, “Racing heartbeats for no fucking reason. Long annoying stares. Whining under the sheets with my name on your lips. I just don’t fucking get it. Why? What are you jealous of?”

Jaskier’s eyes narrowed and he bit the skin that came muffling him. Geralt hissed and pulled away.

“You knew?”

Geralt swallowed.

“I... wasn’t sure what to know.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he barked, tears starting to swarm his eyes, “Geralt, I’ve been pining for you for decades and you knew? And you - and you did fucking nothing?”

Geralt’s hold of him loosened and Jaskier took his chance to grip him by the collar of his unlaced tunic and flip them over. To his surprise, Geralt followed willingly, letting himself get overpowered, and landed with his back to the wall, his eyes darting elsewhere, looking as guilty as they came.

“Look at me,” said Jaskier, “Gods fucking dammit, look at me, Geralt!”

Slow, unsure, amber eyes returned to him.

“Why did you never say anything?” Jaskier’s voice broke, and one tear trailed down his left eye. “All these fucking years. You saw me, like a lovestruck fool, looking at you like you’re the sun and the moon and everything beyond and you did nothing. Why? Just tell me, why?”

Geralt’s adam’s apple bobbed. He gritted his teeth in stubborn hesitance until Jaskier’s eyes fell down, and his grip on his collar began to loosen. That was when he came gripping his wrist, holding it where it was, against his chest. With a broken look of feeble hope, Jaskier lifted up his gaze at him.

“Do I ...” His voice broke. “Do I even matter to you?”

“You do.” 

"Don’t just say what I want to -”

“You matter, and that’s why. That’s fucking why.”

Jaskier didn’t know what to say to that, and Geralt continued.

“How do you think twenty years by your side felt like? Twenty years watching you live, age, grow. There’s only so much time can give. Until it rips it all away.”

Jaskier’s tears ceased. His eyes now bearing confusion and worry.

“I can’t have you,” said Geralt, voice tight, lip trembling. “Not when I know someday, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year, but someday, I will have to let you go.”

And at those words, Jaskier, not knowing what got into him, burst into laughter. 

Under Geralt’s wary stare, he laughed loudly, whole-heartedly, until he could no longer contain it, until his cheeks hurt from the pain, and he had to cling into the other’s body for balance. Until the tears of sadness were completely replaced by tears of happiness.

Happiness to know that his feelings were not unrequited. 

“Jaskier...”

“Geralt, you fool.”

He didn’t need to speak the words he meant to convey. He completely and utterly gave in, right then and there, cupped the other’s face and kissed him. His lips tasted of cheap wine and hidden desires. It felt like bringing life back into a body that had long been depraved. He had watched the witcher kiss many women, and never, never had he groaned so desperately, so sweetly before in his life.

And Jaskier wanted to believe it was true, all of it.

"You’re afraid I’ll die?” he mouthed shortly after pulling back, the scent of the other already clinging to his nostrils, something that was pure Geralt, something that reminded him of his own fearlessness. “Afraid I’ll leave you alone? Well, fucking hell, Geralt, we’re all dying. We’re all deteriorating, day after day, waiting for that sweet death to take us. And so what do we do? What do we make of the life we are given? We cry, moan, complain. We never live. We never live, Geralt. I might die before you, but for gods’ love I want to die a fulfilled man. I want to have kissed and loved and fucked the one I love to my heart’s content before I get to lay in my death’s bed satisfied and happy. That’s life, Geralt. That’s it. You either live it, or you die trying. And I want to try.”

He placed a soft kiss on Geralt’s bottom lip and whispered:

“With you.”

He couldn’t witness the expression on his face after that. He was taken by arms so strong he thought he could suffocate. Jaskier loved every bit of that sweet suffocation. So tight was his hold and so everlasting he thought time was barely floating by. Until it eventually loosened and calloused fingers came grazing his cheek. 

“I want to try, too,” he said, “I want you, Jaskier. Always have.”

The look he bore, so vulnerable, so true, so bare, had Jaskier understand. He still was uncertain, still hesitant, still unsure. 

And perhaps it would take another decade for him to be convinced that love was timeless, that it didn’t matter if death took one of them away after they have loved each other so strongly and dearly and passionately. 

But Jaskier was patient. And he would wait an eternity if it meant Geralt would finally let himself be loved.

[mvrtaiswriting]

Your writing is so beautifully done! I feel like you really capture your characters’ personalities. Would you consider writing a scenario where reader was part of the Crusaders and is reconnecting with part4!Jotaro after his recent divorce. It’s awkward dating at first, but Joot’s heart melts every time he sees reader and Jolyne getting along so well.

Are you even real? - Jotaro Kujo.

HELLO HELLO HELLO and thank you so much for waiting so long! Writer’s block has been a pain BUT this one actually carried me away and helped me get through it.. so thank you for requesting it! Gotta say it: timeline of jojo’s event is not accurate, but it does include everything you asked for!! I don’t wanna bother you anymore so please enjoy! I hope this meets your expectations!! 

Neutral reader x Jotaro Kujoh.

Jojo’s bizzare adventures: Diamond Is Unbreakable & Stardust Crusaders

Timeline of Jojo’s events (mostly jotaro’s fatherhood) is a bit bizzare

SFW

Trigger warning: usual jojo’s violence

Words Count: 2631

Song suggestion: Are you even real? by James Blake

Hi! Are you a new reader? Check my masterlist for more content!

Please feel free to reblog or leave a comment :) help me support my art (it’s free!),

© bearing in mind everything I post/write is my intellectual property so please don’t steal/copy and paste and post it as yours.

Jotaro was about to throw what would have been his last punch to Kira when he was interrupted by the manifestation of a familiar stand. Was he hallucinating? Did he lose too much blood to imagine things now? While he asked himself this questions, resting his back against the wall trying to preserve the few energies he had left in his body, he looked around looking for the owner of the stand that just came to his rescue. His eyes scanned meticulously the area; he was sure you weren’t far – of course, if all of it just wasn’t a massive joke made by his tired mind.

But you were there – you were really there. And you were beating up Kira so bad, making it look so easy. He widened his eyes open, forcing himself to remain conscious. Josuke would have arrived in matters of minutes and he would have cured all of his injuries.

Jotaro closed his eyes, and the next thing he saw was you and Josuke leaning over him. You smiled when you noticed he was regained energy and health, looking into his beautiful aquamarine eyes for some seconds. You really missed them, you missed him.

“Getting old?” you said laughing, offering him a hand to help him stand up. He shook his head while a soft, almost imperceptible smile formed on his lips as he fixed his hat onto his head as per usual.

“What are you doing here?” he said, opening his arms and implicitly inviting you into a hug.

You smiled, hugging him tight. You guys hadn’t seen each other in so long, and being in each other’s arms just felt like coming home.

“Guess this is your way to say ‘thank you for saving my ass, nice to see you again!’” you said laughing.

Behind you, Josuke’s and his friends’ all had riddled expressions on their faces. Seeing Jotaro so outgoing surely was something unexpected – so much that Kira running away didn’t seem to matter at all.

Jotaro nodded at your words, breaking up from the hug and taking a good minute to look at you. He still was much taller than you, and you didn’t seem to have aged a bit. You were as beautiful as he remembered you. What he didn’t remember was all the complicated, little emotions he felt every time he was next to you that were now coming back to surface. You always held a special place in his heart. You two always shared a particular bond that never got the chance to really develop. During the crusaders days, you were too busy fighting and looking for Dio to get involved into emotional relationships; and following the final battle, after losing Kakyion, Avdol and Iggy, Jotaro didn’t think it was appropriate to actually confess you his feelings. All of you were mourning the deaths of your companions, and although Kakyion would have encouraged Jotaro to actually tell you about how he felt, in that moment, it just didn’t feel right. So he let you go, and everyone just returned to their own lives. He had moved on since then or at least he tried to do so; he was now a father with a failed marriage, but he never really forgot you. Afterall, no one ever forgets their first love.

“Joseph called me a week ago. I’m sorry I came late but it was the best I could do!” You answered Jotaro’s previous question. “He told me you guys needed a hand and that my degree in criminology would have been useful. He explained everything to me and.. here I am!” you continued.

Jotaro’s expression seemed surprised. He didn’t know his grandfather was still in contact with you. At first, he started to ask himself why didn’t Joseph tell him years before. He could have had a chance with you – he would have followed you wherever you were. His jiji knew what he felt towards you, how could he just stay silent? Those questions were quickly followed by doubts: what was Joseph planning? Did he call you because they really needed you there or because he was just trying to help Jotaro overcome his divorce and find someone to help him with Jolyne? All these doubts clouded Jotaro’s mind, leaving him silent.

After you were introduced to everyone, you and the rest of the guys went to a coffee bar to discuss how  investigations would have been organised and what methods would have been more successful in finding Kira’s new identity.

Jotaro kept his eyes locked on you while you professionally explained to Rohan, Koichi and the rest of the boys what to do. A part of him was busy studying every little detail of your face. How you still did the same facial expression you did 10 years before, how your smile still managed to lighten up everything around you. It was so strange how much time passed by, how many things changed during these years; yet  things stayed the same between the two of you. He still felt the same way he did when he was just a boy, you guys still related to each other the same way you did when you travelled around the world.

Jotaro’s posture was much more relaxed now that you were around. His face had a more relaxed expression, and you gladly found out that he became a bit more talkative than he was in his younger days.

Joseph found you a room in the same Hotel where him and Jotaro where staying in while in Morio-cho, leading the two of you to spend an incredible amount of time together.

As time passed, you and Jotaro grew closer and closer. You quickly learned about his love life and that he became a marine biologist, something you would have never expected from him. He was very curious about your life too: he was eager to know what happened to you during those years – he wasn’t able to find you when he tried, and now that you were right in front of him, he wanted to make the best out of the time he got to spend with you. He wanted to know if the person he always loved was taken, and what happened to them during all that time. However, he never directly asked you any private question. He learned that you had an important relationship at a certain point, which broke your heart and made you afraid of love, but only because you and Joseph talked about it.

He thought it was ironic; he had a similar experience.

Searching for Kira’s new identity was tiring. You were all doing your best, and were using every resource you could. You in particular were really involved with the whole research project– it was the main reason why you were there. Every time there were news, whether they were minor or not, you were always the first one to be notified.

You were busy examining some of your notes and the pictures Rohan took when Jotaro knocked on your door. You sent your stand over to open the door, focusing on your studies. It was only when you smelled Jotaro’s sweet perfume filling the room that you finally lifted your eyes up from the books and the various pics in front of you. You greeted Jotaro with a weak smile, as he sat down next to you.

“Thought you could use some coffee.” He said, leaving a fuming cup in front of you.

You thanked him, and proceeded to take a long sip from the cup.

“How is it going?” he asked.

You sighed, running an hand through your hair as if that gesture could help you reorganise your thoughts. You explained everything to him, ranting a bit about how stressing the whole situation felt. Every time you thought you got closer to finding Kira, something happened that forced you to start all over again. He wasn’t like every other serial killer you studied about; he was always a step ahead of everyone.

Jotaro listened carefully to your words, nodding sometimes to let you know that he was really paying attention to what you were saying. Once you finished, he looked a bit perplexed and offered you his insight regarding the whole situations. You trusted his words more than anyone else’s – you knew he had great analytical skills, you would have trusted him with your life. Something you already did in the past.

The two of you spent the night together, smoking some cigarettes while discussing about every possibility regarding Kira’s escape. He sat exactly next to you on the sofa, reading some documents given to you by the Speedwagon foundation when you tiredly rested your head on his shoulder.

This gesture made his muscles contract for a second, catching him out of guard. He turned to look at you, your eyes almost closed because of your tiredness. Without saying a word, Jotaro leaned his lips against your head, leaving a soft kiss on it before continuing reading his documents as if nothing happened. It wasn’t long until you fell asleep. When Jotaro noticed it, he wasn’t sure about moving. He didn’t want to wake you up, but he knew that wasn’t the most comfortable position for you to sleep in. He slowly lied on the sofa, letting you rest your head on his chest. He put his white coat on you, deciding to stay there for the night.

You woke up next to him the following morning, your bodies completely intertwined. You were confused, as you didn’t remember falling asleep. Also, you didn’t really want to bother Jotaro this much, and immediately felt bad about it. You slowly got up, leaving the beautiful man sleep on the sofa of your hotel room. After a quick shower, you headed towards the hotel’s canteen to buy some breakfast for both of you.

When you finally returned to your room, you saw Jotaro stretching up, standing tall in the middle of the room. “Morning” he whispered in a low, raspy voice.

Smiling as if you were a teenager in love, you replied and offered him a donut.

“I’m sorry for yesterday. You could have woken me up.” You said shyly, doing your best to avoid eye contact.

He hinted a small laugh, messing your hair with his hand.

“No need to apologise, silly. It’s fine, I fell asleep too.”

-

Days passed by, and you knew you were getting closer to find out Kira’s identity. Your days however, weren’t made up solely by studies, researches or fight. Most of the time you found yourself spending time with the Joestar’s family: you would usually have dinner with Josuke, Jotaro, Joseph and Josuke’s mum, spending quality time together and hearing funny anecdotes from Josuke and Joseph. You also had the chance to meet Jolyne a few times; Jotaro drove you out of city because he really cared about letting the two of you meet. And it was a good thing: you and jolyne relly got along with each other, almost as if you had been friends in a previous lifetime.

Although Jotaro was never vocal about it, he was important to him to see how  along you got with his family. He loved seeing you playing with Jolyne, and he knew how much you appreciated and respected Joseph. It was also nice to see you getting along with Josuke – both of you had a lively personality, and he grew affectionate towards you really quickly. Sometimes, Jotaro would find your bond a bit irritating – but he knew Josuke was only a 14 y/o boy. He was also conscious about how irrationally jealous he could become, so he never really spoke about it.

As time passed, Jotaro became more and more aware of his feelings towards you. He never forgot you and now every emotion he felt in the past was simply coming back.

 The two of you spent an awful amount of time together, always finding new excuses to do so. Whether it was to investigate over Kira, training to prepare for the final battle or simply visiting some new places, there wasn’t a moment when you weren’t with him; and although he felt incredible bad for thinking about it, Jotaro hoped to find Kira as late as possible.

He needed more time; more time to fully understand what was going on inside his mind and his heart, more time to find the right words to explain everything to you, more time to understand whether his feelings were reciprocated or not.

It was during the final battle with Kira that he finally had the responses he needed.

Seeing you covered in blood made his heart beat incredibly fast. For minutes that felt like an eternity he did not know what to do, how to act - something which was very unusual for him. Jotaro had always been the kind of person to think rapidly, without letting his emotions overwhelm him. But this time it was different. He left you and Josuke fighting alone against Kira for too much time and now the both of you were in danger. It was something he already experience before in Egypt, and he wasn’t willing to lose anyone else.  You kept one of Josuke’s arms around your shoulders to help him standing, the young boy still towering you even if his figure was arched over you. Both of you were covered in blood and with various injuries over your bodies. You were still able to stand on your feet, looking angrily at Kira who was grinning in response. Your breath was heavy and you didn’t have much strength left in your body, but when you saw Jotaro, you knew you had to hold on.

You gave him a quick look, his face covered with worry and fear. “I’ll cover your back but you'll have to be quick.” you said, summoning your powerful Stand once again. Jotaro understood your plan, and without losing anymore time he started walking towards you, becoming close enough to use Star Platinum against your enemy.

“Star Platinum. The World!” he said, stopping time and letting Kira have a taste of Star Platinum’s punches.

Before he let time flow again, he gently picked your body up in his arms and stepped far enough from the explosion Killer Queen would have caused moments later. Shielding you with his own body, time started to flow again. You looked at him smiling, gratefully crouching yourself onto his chest, trying your best to recover some energie and enjoying the warmth of his body.

“Thanks for always being my hero.”

Jotaro couldn’t help but smile hearing those words, shaking his head in response.

“I just returned you a favour.”, he added.

-

Two weeks passed by since the defeat of Yoshikage Kira.

You and Jotaro decided to stay in Morio-cho a bit longer than what you originally planned. The time spent together allowed you to discuss your mutual feelings and, after a long night of passion and love, you started dating.

It was awkward at first. You and Jotaro never really officialised your relationship; you just let things between you evolve naturally, preferring a physical love language over words – what united the two of you wasn’t something that could have been easily described. However, he eventually confessed you that he had loved you since your trip in Egypt, receiving a: “I did too, idiot.” in response.

As time went by, you and Jolyne managed to build a strong, beautiful bond – so much, she’d start to refer to you as a parental figure and nothing less. Jotaro loved seeing the two of you together; you were the people he loved the most, and he was happy his little daughter liked you as much as he always did.

[sapphic-yearning-lesbian]

This is chapter three (Chapter one & two)

Namaari learns more about Raya finding herself even more smitten.

Warnings: Brief mention of alcohol (80 proof)

Word Count: 3299

Each character is aged up roughly ten years. I have a timeline on my AO3

--

Resuming from previous chapter

"I'm surprised you actually came," Raya said, smiling as she slowly shifted her posture to be sitting on the edge of the bed. Namaari quickly got up from her seat and helped her sit up, placing her hand on Raya's back to stabilize her. Raya felt electricity where Namaari's hand lingered.

"I am, too," Namaari answered truthfully. 

Raya was content with Namaari's honest answer, for now. As she could see the fear and nervousness behind Namaari's actions, so trying to calm the other, she chuckled before speaking. "Can you hand me my call button, please?" Raya said in a gentle tone, smiling at the other. Namaari nodded as she used her free hand to grab it off her chair, handling it to Raya. "I'm still not allowed to walk to the bathroom by myself, so--" She said as she felt her cheeks turn red. 

Namaari just smiled, because technically she could help Raya to the restroom, but clearly, Raya didn't want that. "Yup, your whiteboard says BMAT 3," she says in a scoff as she cups her right hand, tucking her hair behind her right ear. Raya presses both her lips together, trying to hide the fluttering in her stomach caused by Namaari's shy mocking attempt; somehow, she pushed through it and rolled her eyes.

"Sure it does, but my normal, not nurse friend, wouldn't know what that abbreviation meant," Raya answered with the tiniest smirk, causing Namaari to smile before tilting her head towards the call light, signaling Raya to press it; which she did. "I need an assist to the restroom, and could they bring me some hygiene supplies as well. Please and thank you." The person on the other side of the intercom assured her someone would be in soon.

"That didn't sound like a patient talking; it sounded more like a nurse." Namaari teasingly said, which caused Raya's cheeks to tint in a light shade of red.

"Guess we're both guilty then," Raya said before coming to a realization. "Damm, we both suck at being just everyday people who aren't nurses." They both burst out in laughter, but Raya quickly stopped as the tightness in her chest was highly uncomfortable. Shaking her head and grunting, she spoke again, "It hurts when I laugh, but I'm just so funny." She said, laughing once again, this time biting her bottom lip as she felt the painful sting in her chest. Namaari's laughter dying down as a frown replaced it

"You're going to hurt yourself," Namaari softly stated as she looked nervously at the other who was just smiling back at her. She sighed before a smile appeared on her lips, "You're not even that funny," She declared, raising an eyebrow at Raya, whose smile widened.

Knock Knock 

"Hello. My name is Boun, and I'm your nursing assistant for today," said a young man as he walked into the room with all Raya's hygiene supplies. He smiled at Raya. "You must be Ms. Hart."

"No No No. We will not have that! You will call me Raya." Raya stated as she waved her hands in front of her causing Boun to laugh.

"Of course." He looks up at Namaari. "Are you doing a check-up? I wasn't aware. I would have waited." Namaari shook her head rapidly to the sides.

"Yes, I work here, but I'm not on her health care team, and I'm not even a resident," Namaari said awkwardly; she knew the blue scrubs would cause problems. 

Boun just raised an eyebrow before nodding and walking over to Raya. He was there to supervise that she didn't accidentally fall, as she was caple of moving on her own. 

Raya was still experiencing pain. She had three total broken ribs; Two caused by Tong and one by the CPR that saved her life. Ribs don't magically heal; it takes upward to a month to heal, so she had a very long journey ahead of herself. She also had a surgical incision that takes a minimum of two weeks to heal. 

If Raya were to fall, she could further injure herself or delay her healing process. For these reasons, her doctors agreed she needed a nursing assistant to supervise her when ambulating (walking); This didn't bother Raya. She just dislikes how slow her movements are.

--

Namaari was standing by the window talking on the phone when Raya came out of the bathroom. 

Once Raya's gaze returned to Boun, he smiled at her; he was standing on her right side, hoovering his left hand over her back while his right hoovered in the front. He didn't touch her, but he was ready to steady her if she lost balance.

"I understand, mother. I'm sorry for forgetting about our morning brunch." Namaari said sincerely into her phone. "How about we get together for dinner? I'll text you the details. Goodbye, mother." Raya watched as Namaari turned her attention to her, smiling warmly before looking back at her phone ending the call.

"Can I sit on the couch? I've been stuck in that bed for days." Raya said, turning her attention to Boun again, who nodded and assisted her to the couch. 

Once Raya was situated on the couch, Boun placed her call light near her before excusing himself. Namaari quite timidly sat on the other end of the sofa, looking at Raya's hair before chucking and saying, "I ordered us some breakfast from the cafeteria, and because you're a patient, we actually get the good food."

Raya knew her hair was a mess, and she tried to brush it, but the comb the hospital provides only pulled on her hair, making it frizzy while failing at untangling it. She smiled awkwardly, knowing she didn't look her best and she was in the presence of a goddess. 

Raya glanced over Namaari's face. Her hair was also a slight mess but not even close to hers. She tried to hide her smile as she saw the smugly eyeliner. She concluded that  Namaari was breathtaking, even with a face full of messed-up makeup. 

Namaari sensed Raya's mood change, so she stood up from the couch, walking to the chair where she had her personal bag. She carries a small brush at all times; she has straight hair, and so much as looking at it causes it to get tangled. Namaari also carries small elastic hair ties. That will have to do, she thought as she walked over to Raya, holding her supplies with a huge grin on her lips. "May I brush your hair? It's faster that way." Namaari warmly whispers as she watches Raya's eyes light up with joy before nodding yes. 

Raya slowly shifts her posture so she's entirely sideways, throwing her legs over the armrest with a scrunch of her nose. She then felt as Namaari sat behind her before gently undoing the two braids on top of her head. She heard Namaari sigh as she ran her fingers through her braids, undoing them completely. That's when Raya felt her once tense shoulders relax under the touch of the other. She hummed before saying, "Thank you for this and saving my life."

"Saving your life was a team effort and part of the job, Dep La." Raya's felt her face insistently on fire, and she knew her cheeks were tinted in a deep red. 

"That's not what Atitaya said." Raya blurted before pressing both hands to her lips. 

Taken back, Namaari removed her hands from Raya's hair, raising an eyebrow. Is Raya also flirting with Atitaya? Is she stupid for sitting here and doing her hair when she's flirting with another? "You've been talking to Atitaya?" Namaari huffed as she grabbed her brush and began detangling the ends of Raya's hair. Trying to ignore the sting she's feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

Namaari put herself out there, and she's practically getting rejected... OR is she thinking too much into it?

Raya sighed before whispering, "Atitaya and Sisu were involved before my incident; I only found out about it once I woke up from surgery having caught them kissing." She chuckled before continuing, "Atitaya has been coming for an hour before her shifts to visit Sisi; you've come up once or twice."

Namaari smiled as her jealousy seemed to ease. That seems way more logical. However, she is still confused; she had to hear this from Raya and not Atitaya. "I call Atitaya my best friend, and I had no clue she was chasing Sisu--Good for them!" She chuckled, and she began to run the brush through the rest of Raya's hair. "What has she said about me?" She asked hesitantly. A part of her didn't want to know, but the curious side of her needed to know.

"Not much...But she did mention your battle with trust issues and that you looked extremely shattered, saving my life."  Raya shrugged her shoulders, "I've kinda clung to that, hoping it was true," she admitted in a whisper.

Namaari flinched, briefly surprised by the lack of confidence in Raya's tone. "I don't know what to say..." she confessed as she put the brush down, as she had fully untangled Raya's hair. Namaari watched as Raya's shoulder's resumed their previous tension before she pushed herself forward, moving away from her. "Like I can't explain why...or how..." Namaari announced before sighing, "I'm not good with expressing my feelings, but I'm here, and I'm trying."

Raya chuckled after hearing Namaari's weak confession, but she knew deep down it was just enough. 

In all fairness, Raya is not a flirt! Most of the time, women chase her, so she sits back and catches her prey without even needing to bat an eyelash. But four days ago, she was high on adrenaline and had an unknown amount of liquor in her system; The mixture of these two gave her the courage to put herself out there for the first time. Apparently, it worked, but she feared that Namaari wanted the confident and sensual Raya she met a few nights ago. 

How was Raya going to tell her?

Was Raya going to risk losing Namaari before she even had the chance to have her?

Yes, she would risk it all... because she wasn't going to start anything with Namaari based on a situational event. 

"Thank you for trying," Raya huffed before bringing her hands up to her face. "I need to be honest; The flirting and the confidence a few nights ago were effects from my 80 proof." Raya was prepared for Namaari to leave or laugh at her; instead, Namaari placed both her hands on Raya's shoulders, leaning closer. Raya could now feel Namaari's breath travel up and down her spine.

"This isn't new's to me; you wreaked of it. " Namaari answered, chuckling as she pulled away from Raya, watching the girl shiver as she did. "You give the alcohol a lot of credit; everything you say can be portrayed as flirting, and your confidence has only faltered once since I've been here." 

"Everything I said that night was honest, but sober me wouldn't have been so upfront with you," Raya admitted laughing as she moved her hands from her face placing them on her thighs. She wined once she felt Namaari's hands leave her shoulders but quickly relaxed when she felt her hands now on her scalp, gently massaging it before braiding it. "Just because I wouldn't expect you to reciprocate." 

Namaari gruffed, amused by that statement as she patiently started braiding Raya's hair into a loose french braid; to keep it out of her face and prevent it from getting tangled again. "I'm technically paid to reject patient advances politely, yet here I am. On my day off braiding your hair." 

"So, what made you come?" Raya reasked, hopeful Namaari had a better grasp of her emotions or was capable of identifying them.

Namaari finished the braid. She held it with her left hand while her right hand brought two elastics up to her mouth, stretching them before placing them on Raya's single braid. "What if," She admitted, which caught her off guard. She heard the other hum, sounding happy with the answer.

"What if is good. I can work with, what if." Raya felt her inner stress vanish. What if means different things to everyone but to Raya, this phrase brought hope. 

Namaari smiled as she let go of the other's hair. As the braid rested on her back, she realized the gown was loose. She couldn't see much, but what she did see were defined and muscular shoulder blades. She gulped, feeling heat redate through her body; she quickly shook her head, forcing herself out of her thoughts before they got sinful. She timidly brought her hands to the yarn of the gown before undoing it; she felt Raya stop breathing, and her body went still. So Namaari quickly tightened it before retying. She quickly pulled her hands away, yet Raya stayed still, and her breathing didn't resume. So she felt obligated to say, "Raya?" 

After a few seconds of forgetting how to function as a human being, Raya came back to earth as she heard Namaari say her name. How beautiful her name sounded rolling off Namaari's tongue. She could listen to her say her name all day. Raya rolled her eyes in pure embarrassment. She took a few deep breaths before humming in response. That was safer than speaking right now as she could still feel the warmth on the back of her neck where Namaari readjusted her gown. She could hear the other chuckle behind her as she cleared her throat to speak, "So Sisu mentioned something about you being a trauma nurse during the incident. Do you work here? At Kumandra Memorial?"

Raya rolled her shoulders before shifting her position. She slowly moved her legs off the armrest before turning her body to face Namaari. She now rested her lower back against the armrest as she lifted her left leg onto the couch bending it and pulling it closer to her torso. Her right leg was still dangling while she grabbed onto her left leg with her hands pulling it as close as humanely possible. Once Raya was comfortable, her eyes meet Namaari's. She couldn't help but smile when she felt her pulse increase and her palms moisten, all the while her stomach was experiencing immense fireworks. "Yes, I'm a nurse practitioner like yourself, but I'm specialized in trauma. And I technically don't work here yet."

Namaari raised her eyebrows as a slight grin appeared on her lips before speaking, "Technically? Elaborate!" She watched as Raya pressed her lips together, which sent Namaaris heart adrift with how gorgeous that small action looked.

"My father is a general in the five-nation military, so I enrolled when I turned 18. The military paid for my education, so I specialized in trauma to help injured soldiers. When I was 25, I resigned as a soldier but stayed in the military as a nurse. Three years later, I finally applied to work here, and they hired me quite rapidly..." Raya started as she found herself laughing. "Four days ago, Sisu, another friend of mine named Tong, and I went to a bar to celebrate my new job. The rest is history." 

Namaari felt her jaw fall as she gasped before looking Raya up and down. "You're a military nurse? That's wow," Namaari wanted to say hot. The realization Raya doesn't only wear scrubs, but she uses military uniforms. Or she was hoping she still did because that would be very attractive. "What a funny coincidence! I've never been part of the military, but my mother is a training sergeant. I was raised and trained as a soldier, and I lived on the Fang base growing up. You know before the war that united all the lands," Namaari stated as she unknowingly leaned her face closer to Raya. That's when she noticed a tattoo on Raya's left upper ankle. Two thin, solid black lines with an inch of space between them. In the middle of the two lines was a joyful grinning face with blush and a headband. Overall, it appeared to be a band tattoo with negative space. What initially caught her attention was the somewhat small mandala art within it. Raya must have seen her staring at it because she gently moved her foot, causing her to notice a font,

"Be Brave, Be Strong, Never Waiver," Raya stated as Namaari read the ink engraved on her skin. "My Ba said those words to me as he left for war when I was 12. I've lived by them ever since." Raya smiled, looking at Namaari's wonder-filled eyes. "Wait, you haven't noticed my tattoo's" Raya blurted as Namaari looked at her and nodded no. Raya chuckled as she brought her right hand up, showing her the wrist. She had tattooed her family's heirloom: a wavy sword with a Susiduatu, the dragon where the blade meets the handle; It was small but her favorite tattoo. Namaari chuckled as, with her right hand, she unclasped the watch on her left hand. Once the watch was gone, a tattoo of two daggers was visible: crossed upon each other. 

Namaari watched as a smile wide from ear to ear plastered on Raya's face. She then watched as Raya reached her right hand to gently brush the skin on her left wrist, making her gulp in nervousness. She brought her gaze back to Raya's knee and the arm grasping it; that's when she noticed another band tattoo, this time on Raya's left bicep. It was a slighter ticker solid black line and in the middle was a tattooed gem in a light blue. Namaari snickered as she was also hiding a bicep tattoo under her white coat; she would wait to tell her, or rather, show her. Namaari wanted Raya to want her for more than her muscular physique. "Do you have any more hidden somewhere?" she said, raising an eyebrow scanning Raya's body respectfully! To this, Raya grinned.

"Wouldn't you like to know! I guess you'll have to wait and see," Raya said, biting her bottom lip as her face leaned closer to Namaari. Her right hand gently massaging Norse code's into Namaari left palm. 

Namaari felt completely smitten by Raya's. And this feeling only intensified as she felt the other gently writing letters onto the palm of her hand. She wanted to look down at her hand because it was currently sending electricity through her body, but she kept her gaze on Raya. That's when she noticed her coffee eyes appeared to have a hint of gold, or was she imagining that? She was taken out of her thoughts as she saw Raya lean forward, so she also leaned in without putting too much thought into the action.

Their faces were inches apart, and they could feel each other breaths on each other's skin. Raya closed her eyes, allowing the kiss to be up to Namaari. Namaari licked her lips before closing her eyes to close the gap.

Knock. Knock. 

Namaari jumped back as Raya stayed in her previous position opening her eyes. Namaari was flustered, and Raya seemed more amused than embarrassed; she just chucked before speaking. "Come in"

"Hello, I'm Trinh. I'm from dining. Can you please state your full name and birthday, please?" A kitchen staff member said as he walked into the room with a tray of food. Namaari, still quite embarrassed, looks away, trying to hide the brush slowly creeping its way onto her cheeks. Raya's right hand fully resting on Namaari's left hand. Raya looked at Namaari briefly before returning her gaze to the new presence in the room.

Was Namaari going to kiss her?

"Hello Trinh, my full name is Raya Hart..."

--

7/30/21 : I intended to post part four today but life is crazy. I have’t had the chance to finish it. It should posted before 8/03. Long story short: I will not have my laptop this weekend where I comfortably write. SORRY for the wait in advance!

[ka-za-ri]

Descent Pt. 1

I told myself I was gonna take a break. I lied. I wanted to write a whole bin of Sin for Simeon. I’m sorry, not sorry at all. Let me know if you want to be a part of the tag list: Chapter Masterlist: Here Crossposted on Ao3: here Part [1] Part [2] Part [3] Part 4: [4] Part [5] Part [6] Part [7] Part [8] Part [9] Part [10]

Paring: Simeon x Reader Wordcount: 4,900 ish Genre: Smut Tags: Masturbation, Voyeurism, hints of dirty talk? Summary: Sent from the Celestial realm to observe and study humans; Simeon made a name for himself as the illustrious author of The Tales of the Seven Lords. After reaching acclaim for his first series, he's having trouble writing his next great hit. Good thing you're there for him as his manager and editor to help him work out the... kinks in writing.

Trip

The most dangerous aspect of humans was their innate ability to tempt even the most stalwart and steadfast of angels into a world of sin. Simeon was not immune to their ways, no matter how reclusive he became. It was easy to study them from afar, learning about them through numbers and sales numbers. The masses were easy to sway with a few pretty words. Blending in with humans was a trivial task for him. All he had to do was make a few public appearances for book signings and some launch parties for a new series; otherwise he was free to observe and study from afar. 

After the international success of The Tale of The Seven Lords, Simeon found himself feeling rather empty. He needed a new project to keep him entertained in the human realm. However, no matter what he started to work on, it didn’t inspire the same sort of passion he had for his older series. He needed a new genre, a new style of writing to refresh his passion for words. If he was going to make it in an ever changing market, he would need to adapt as well. Yet, no matter what genre he tried, every draft he came up with seemed too mundane and overdone. 

Everything except, for the temptation of writing something much more salacious than his last work. 

Just entertaining the thought had him on a slippery slope of falling from the grace of the Celestial realm. Sure, the strict protocols of olde had been loosened over the centuries. Many angels realized that enforcing perfect adherence to the standards of purity set so long ago no longer applied to modern times. Rules had been loosened and enforcement had relaxed to the point where Simeon was almost positive if he wrote an absolutely obscene novel, he didn’t risk losing his Celestial powers. 

The only problem was that he had no experience in the genre at all. He threw together a vague plot and outline, thinking it would be all he needed to inspire him. Surprisingly enough, the publishing house allowed for the drastic change in genre, confident that he would be able to create another best seller. Just having that much trust put in him made him want to succeed even more with the haphazard novel idea. 

But, despite his determination to make his new manuscripts lewd, he was at a complete loss as to what, and how to write them properly. The outline he presented to you seemed excellent on paper. Even if it had a few plot holes, you knew he could patch them up with a little work. So, it was natural that you would push the approval and leave him to his own devices to work on the manuscript. You were sure that an author of his caliber would be able to break into a new branch of the literary market without any issues. 

But, after several months of waiting, you had no contact at all from him regarding the progress of his new book. The industry needed proof of his work in order to justify their investment in him. Being so renowned, the pressure was on him to create something magnificent. You could only imagine the kind of stress he was going through and as his manager and editor, you were responsible for making sure he met deadlines. You hated to rush his process, but there was no way he could meet the dates set by the publisher if he didn’t give you something to work with soon. 

After trying to reach out to him several times by phone and email with little to no response, the only option left was to go to his abode and see just what he was hiding from. No other outline he submitted had passed so this was his one and only chance to continue his writing career. You patiently waited after knocking on his door, hoping he would answer and wasn’t going to ignore you any further. You knew how serious writer’s block could be; but you hoped he wouldn’t let that get in the way of being a professional. 

Luckily, the door opened soon enough and you were ushered in by an extremely tired and frazzled looking Simeon. He lead you to his office after you had taken off your shoes and changed into the guest slippers he offered. Simeon didn’t speak to you during the whole exchange, a shell of the soft spoken and attentive author you had come to know after so many years of working with him. He shuffled into his office, an obvious slouch in his posture and slumped behind his desk before gesturing at the empty chair across from him. 

“I’m guessing you know why I’m here.” You said and he sighed in resignation, burrowing his head in his hands and running them through his hair. You felt terrible adding stress onto him, he looked ragged, like he hadn’t slept in days. The bags under his eyes were so dark, they almost looked like deep bruises. 

“Yes… You want a manuscript…” his normally soft voice sounded hoarse and you wondered if he had eaten or drunken anything at all that day. “I’m almost done with the first draft… would you like to come and see?” He turned his laptop towards you and you started reading what he had so far. 

All seemed well and good at first. The characters were believable and the premise, though a bit cheesy, was definitely acceptable for the genre. The further you read, the more you noticed large gaps in his writing. Whole paragraphs seemed to be missing and sentences ended midway. Dialog was left unfinished and by the time you reached the end of the first chapter, it was a mess. You could already feel the inevitable headache you were going to get from editing for him. 

“Uhm…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s not my best work.” 

He tried to smile, but the emotion didn’t reach his eyes. You reached out to him and held his hand, rubbing your thumb in reassuring circles on his palm. “You’ve worked hard on it, still. What’s got you so hung up though?” 

He got a little flustered at your question, nervously running his hand through his hair and looking to the side. Writing such a topic with no experience in it was proving to be difficult for him. He could research all he wanted and consume all the media he could to aid him, but there was just something missing. His lack of knowledge was showing and he wasn’t sure how he could keep being composed about his failure so far. He gestured at the screen and shrugged, trying to get his message across without using words; but, when he saw your confused expression, he had to speak. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” he finally admitted. “I want to write this so badly, but I don’t know how to… describe the scenes the way I want to.” 

You sat back in the chair, crossing your arms over your chest and nodding. You could only imagine the difficulty he was having in producing the quality content you were sure he was used to coming up with. With deadlines looming above your head, you needed at least a chapter to submit to the publishing house so they knew actual work was being done. You sighed, trying to think of ways to jump start his creativity. The gloomy atmosphere of his office didn’t seem help. The lights were dim and the curtains were all drawn. It didn’t feel like a place that could invoke the imagery he was going for. “Let’s move somewhere.” you suggested finally. “Do you have a room with lots of sunlight? Maybe a change of mood will help.” 

“Ah… there’s the sunroom..” he said. “But I don’t know if just changing where I am writing will help the situation. If it hasn’t gotten done here, I doubt it will anywhere else.” 

“Just try it.” you encouraged, already unplugging his laptop and taking it with you. “It’s so gloomy in here, even I’m getting depressed just sitting around. Come on, which way is it?” 

“Ah… this way.” He said, shamefully shuffling out from behind his desk and showing you the way to the sunroom which overlooked a rather well manicured garden with a variety of flowers in full bloom. You marveled at the bright, airy feel of the room and took a second to really appreciate his choice in decor. 

“Wow, would have never pegged you as the kind of guy who gardens.” You teased, flopping onto the couch he had in there and lounged in its plush confines. Looking through the glass ceiling, you watched a few clouds drift by while Simeon got comfortable in a recliner in the corner of the room. You could tell he was still a bit frustrated, but you knew getting him some sun would do him good. 

“Well, when I don’t have any pressing deadlines, being with the plants helps relieve stress. It’s unfortunate that I cannot give you a tour this time.” 

“There’s plenty of opportunities in the future. They’re not going anywhere, and neither am I. You know I’m going to keep hounding you until your manuscript is finished.” 

He chuckled, nodding and opening up his laptop. You let silence pass between the two of you, going back to watching the clouds while the sound of his fingers flying across the keyboard lulled you into a daydream like state. You grabbed onto one of the large, decorative pillows he had on the couch, clutching it against your chest while you made up stories in your head about the clouds above. If you weren’t so stressed about turning something into the publishing house so soon; it would have been a perfect, calming afternoon. 

The clack of the keyboard stopped after a little bit. Whatever inspiration Simeon had when he entered the room seemed to have fizzled out and he was stuck in yet another rut, writing one word and deleting it over and over again. You sighed, turning to watch him as he gnawed on his thumb, mumbling to himself. 

“What’s not working?” You asked, your curiosity piqued. 

“Just… this scene… it’s not working. I can’t envision it.” He grumbled. Looking up at where you were laying on his couch, clutching onto the pillow, he was suddenly struck by a brilliant plan. The worry lines on his forehead disappeared and he broke out into a slight smile when he realized how he could get his creative juices flowing. “Help me… I need inspiration.” 

You sat up straight, ready to assist in any way you could. “Okay, what do you want me to do?” You asked. 

Simeon squinted, in the right light, you looked similar to the main character he had written. His plan could work if you reenacted the scene he had in mind. The issue was actually explaining the scene to you in a way that didn’t make his body feel overheated. He was already playing with fire by writing such a lewd book, pushing his limits further felt like he was sliding right down a slope heading towards a great fall. There was no other way, he reasoned. As long as I do not defile her, it’ll be fine. Taking a deep breath, he got up from where he was and walked over to you. 

“I need you to…. Uhm… Well.. how do I say this… I’m having trouble writing a love making scene and I need some… visual aids.” You blinked, processing his request and then looked him up and down, feeling your whole body heat up at once. You were sure you had kept your crush on him a secret. To have him ask you so suddenly to provide visual aid for an explicit novel felt like too big of a jump for you to comprehend. “Oh… Oh no, no, no. You don’t have to do anything with me.” He said, gesturing wildly when he saw you pointedly stare at his crotch. “You can just pretend that this is the ‘lover.’” He took the pillow from your arms and laid it on the couch. 

You didn’t know if you should have felt relived or disappointed that he wanted you to reenact a sex scene with a pillow and not him. It was all quite a bit to take in, but the desperate pout on his face was something you couldn’t ignore. And both your jobs were on the line. You sighed in resignation. “Okay, okay… But only because we have deadlines coming up.” You said. “You’re lucky you’re cute. I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.” 

Simeon smiled for the first time that day, hurriedly moving back to his computer and preparing to take notes on what you were doing. “I’m ready when you are.” he announced once he opened up a separate document. 

“You sure you don’t want me to just, you know… do you?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow as you started to undress. It was embarrassing for sure; but part of you relished in seeing Simeon so flustered when it came to the nature of lewd things. You wondered why he had bothered submitting such an outline at all when he wasn’t familiar with how to write erotica; but his determination to branch out to other genres had won you over in the end. It just fell upon your shoulders to show this man how it was done. 

“I… No… I can’t. I need to write.” He stuttered. Do not defile her, do not defile her. Her womb is sacred and not something you can toy with… Even if he wanted the first hand experience, he still had rules to abide by. 

“Alright, whatever you say. You’re the boss.” You shrugged, unbuttoning your blouse. “Don’t forget, part of the sexiness is in the tease.” You explained, taking your time to sway your hips side to side as each button came undone. Trying to seduce a pillow was so much more boring than trying to seduce Simeon. The things I do for this job… 

You made sure to waggle your ass as you peeled off your pants, tossing them to the side along with your blouse. There was something thrilling about being in a room made of glass. Any woodland creature that decided to come visit his garden at that moment would also get an eyeful of your progressively bare body. The rush of having Simeon watch you as you stripped had your heart racing. 

At the very least, you knew your efforts weren’t in vain. You could hear the furious clacking of the keyboard as you gave the pillow in front of you a sultry look. As lame as it all was, it was still rather arousing to know you were being watched by the man who you had crushed on for so long now. “Alright… sir. I’m going to need you to lay down. You have a problem that only I can take care of.” You said to the pillow. You tried hard not to laugh at how ridiculous the scenario was. It wouldn’t do to break the mood, especially when you could tell Simeon was definitely getting some writing done. 

You got back onto the couch, straddling the pillow between your legs once you were in nothing but your underthings. Licking your lips, you pretended that Simeon was under you and not the decorative cushion. If you closed your eyes, you could almost feel his lean body under your own, squirming in discomfort as you took control of the scenario. There was just something about how gentle and soft spoken he was that made  your heart flutter with the need to dominate him until he was a flushed, moaning mess. 

Using that fantasy in your mind, you slowly started to gyrate your hips onto the pillow, throwing your head back and moaning. “Oh yes…” You breathed, pleasantly surprised at the stimulation you got from the friction of your panties rubbing against your spread core. You hummed, content with the thought of Simeon holding onto your hips to keep your steady. If he wanted to watch, then you were going to give him the best show available. 

You grasped at your breasts, teasing your nipples through the fabric of your bra until they were sensitive little buds that made you gasp. As you continued to grind against the pillow, you could feel your essence starting to flow, no doubt you were going to leave quite a substantial wet mark on the pillow if you continued. You wanted to pause and warn Simeon of what was about to happen; but when you turned and saw the look of concentration on his face, you didn’t dare break his focus. 

He’ll just have to deal with it later… You figured going back to that happy place in your mind where the writer in front of you was actually under you. Closing your eyes, you imagined what it would be like to hear him moan as you pressed your heat against his cock. Surely he must sound absolutely angelic when he cums. Pushing slipping your hands under your bra, you pushed the fabric away, peeled it off your skin and threw it into a random corner to pick up later. “You have no idea how hot you look right now.” You purred, looking down at the cushions below you, wishing you had something sexier to talk dirty to; but you would have to make do with what you had. 

Leaning down, you grabbed a pillow to act as your ‘lovers’ head and started to kiss it. It was so hard to ignore just how disappointing it was to make out with a lump of fabric and not the beautiful man in the corner who was so engrossed with his writing, you might as well have been invisible to him. You could only use your imagination to fantasize about how soft Simeon’s lips must be. He always took such good care of his skin and he had an ethereal glow about him, as if he was blessed by the sun itself. You moaned into the pillow, hating the rough canvas you were pressed up against, but at least your pussy was getting something out of how much you were humping the pillow. 

You came up, gasping for air after having half smothered yourself with a pillow and glanced over at Simeon again. Even as he was furiously typing, you could see that he was at least a little affected by the show you were putting on. Good, I would have hated myself if he’s not even a smidgen turned on by this. You smirked, looking down at your ‘lover’ and pretended to whisper sweet nothings to them before getting off the couch. 

Simeon made a small sound of protest when he saw that you were no longer straddling the pillow, but he quickly shut up when he saw that you were divesting yourself of your panties. “Oh… carry on.” He mumbled, going back to his document, though his eyes continuously flicked up towards you to make sure he was capturing the moment properly. 

Feeling your bare pussy rub against the rough fabric of the pillow sent shivers of pleasure up and down your body and you moaned, riding it harder than before. The stimulation was great, but it wasn’t enough. Really, you wanted to have Simeon buried balls deep in you and not at his computer. However, your priority was your job and that meant sticking to what you had to work with. “Fuck…” You groaned, clenching your inner walls around nothing and wishing that you had at least a toy to fill you up and give you something to ride. 

You ground against the pillow, your essence soaking the fabric and leaving a sizable wet mark, but you didn’t care. It was all the stimulation you could get and you were going to work it for all it was worth. One hand went back up to your breast, rolling your pert nipple between your thumb and forefinger, whining at the mixture of pain and pleasure you were giving yourself. “Yeah… you like watching me touch myself, babe?” You asked no one in particular; but truthfully, you hoped Simeon was really enjoying what he saw and heard.. 

His fingers on the keyboard never ceased moving as he vividly described the scene before him. He was so wrapped up in his work, he didn’t even notice himself getting hard. There was too much to write and no time to think about the attention the rest of his body was asking for. He licked his lips, his gaze constantly going back and forth from the document to your body. You were acting out the scene so well, he couldn’t stop writing; he needed to record every detail. You were everything he had imagined his main character to be; effortlessly confident, commanding in the bedroom and dripping with sex appeal. Even if it was a spur of the moment suggestion, he had no regrets considering he was getting so much more writing done in the last half hour than he had in the past two months. 

Your breathing came out in short little pants as you tried to chase a release that just wouldn’t come with so little to work with. You reached between your legs to fondle your sensitive clit, groaning loudly as you made love to yourself. You didn’t know how long the scene was supposed to be, but your thighs were getting tired of riding an inanimate object and you just wanted to get off now. 

“Mm fuck.. You feel so good…” You breathed, closing your eyes and imagining Simeon sliding inside of you. The first pass must feel so good. You fantasized about lowering yourself onto his cock slowly letting him savor every inch that entered you. In your head, his bright blue eyes glittered in lust, watching his dick disappear into you until your hips met and he would moan at the feeling of being completely buried in you. “Yeah… just like that…” You moaned, rubbing circles at your clit while your inner walls clenched rhythmically at air. 

You went back to dragging your pussy across the fabric of the pillow smearing your essence all over to get as much out of the scenario as you could. Your fingers rubbed your clit harder, pushing you ever closer and closer to release. “Oh… Oh… I’m so close…” You whined, announcing your climax mere seconds before it happened. The last push you needed was looking over at Simeon and seeing him completely engrossed in what you were doing. His fingers frozen on the keyboard and his comfortable pants with a rather impressive tent in them. 

“Fuck. Simeon.” you cursed, cumming all over the pillow. Your fingers slowed their pace around your clit, rubbing your labia back and forth as you rode out the orgasm. You fell forward onto the pillows beneath you, still slowly humping them while you let the initial high pass and the afterglow set in. It wasn’t until the haze of pleasure passed that you realized you had called his name while getting off on his couch in front of him. 

Simeon swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way you called his name. Everything had gone smoothly until you had cried out for him while in the throes of your climax. He had stopped everything he was doing just mere moments before you did that; and now, he didn’t know if he had the mental capacity to continue with what he was writing. 

For once, he was tempted to throw away whatever celestial blessings he had to take you and be the real reason why you screamed his name. 

Shoving the indecent thoughts to the back of his head, he turned back to his document, writing a sentence and erasing it, repeating the action over and over again while his brain looped the beautiful image of you as you came on his couch. Now, he noticed the tightness in his pants, the obvious boner he sported as a result of such an experiment. But, he couldn’t be mad at it. He had achieved a groove in writing and he was sure he could finish the draft you needed in time.

Simeon let you rest a bit and gather yourself together on the couch. No doubt both of you were aware of the slip, but he could pretend it didn’t affect him as much as it did. Eventually, you had the courage to look back up at him, only to find him busily typing away at his computer. Sighing, and running your hand through your hair amused that he could stay so calm, you got up and started to get dressed. “So, I’m guessing moving somewhere else worked?” you asked, keeping your tone light. 

“Hmm… yes.” He agreed, half paying attention to what you were doing. He couldn’t bear to look at you while you were exposed and waited patiently until you were fully clothed until he made eye contact and spoke to you again. “I definitely got some good notes in. I’ll just need a little more time to flesh out some of the filler scenes and I’ll email you the draft in a couple of days.” 

You let out a laugh, surprised that he was able to focus on work still after what he had just witnessed. He truly was as innocent as he presented himself to be sometimes. “Alright, well. I’ll look forward to reading it.” 

“Will you be back?” he asked, looking at you with hopeful eyes. “You were so helpful, I think I might need more help for the rest of the book.” Not, like I want to see something like that again… No, I just need it for research purposes… 

“You know I’ll be back.” You laughed heartily, ruffling his hair. “I have to bother you at least once a month to make sure you’re on schedule to finish.” 

Simeon slouched into his chair and let out a soft laugh in relief. “Of course, how could I forget.” In his mind, he was already planning new scenarios for you to play out. There would be much more research to be done, and supplies to be obtained before your next visit. But, all those things could wait. For now, he closed his laptop, noticing how low on battery it had gotten.Time had slipped by him, the sun already well on its way past the horizon. “It’s getting late…” He commented, trying to change the subject to something a little safer than the masturbation session you just had in front of him. 

“Yeah… I’ll get going and let you work in peace.” In a moment of bold recklessness, you stepped forward and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “See you next time, babe. Can’t wait to see what you’re gonna make me do for you.” you teased, giving him a coy wink before showing yourself out.

As soon as the door was firmly shut, Simeon let out a deep sigh, laughing out loud at the predicament he had put himself into. He wanted to quit everything and dissolve into the ground. He wanted to continue writing and see your body writhe in pleasure. He wanted to also defile you and sate himself inside of you. Most of all though, there was a growing darkness within him, one he didn’t even notice just yet; and that part of him craved to see you put in your place to beg for him like the god he knew he was. 

Pushing all his desires down and curbing his lust for the time being, he moved his computer back to his office and let it charge for the rest of the evening. His mind still swirled with the image of your exposed body riding that pillow in the sunroom. The early evening sunset made your body glow with an almost angelic light; and for once, he felt jealous of an inanimate object.

Quietly padding back into the sunroom, he looked at the soiled cushion; feeling a surge of heat rush through him when he saw the wet spot you had left behind. Licking his lips, he approached it like it was a wild animal, tentatively poking at it. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend to still feel your warmth lingering on the fabric. He could feel shame rising up in him as he laid down on the couch, rested his head on the pillow and took a deep breath, memorizing the scent of your arousal. 

His hand reached down between his legs, slipping past his pants and to his hard length that needed his attention. Turning his head to smother his moans and to surround himself with your unique smell, he teased and pleased himself, putting himself in the scenario you had played out just mere moments ago. 

“Oh… oh fuck…” He groaned surprised at how little effort it took to make him cum and ruin his pants to the thought of you bouncing on his cock and calling his name. He was quickly falling down the deep end of temptation and he could feel the darkness of sin encroaching. 

The scariest part was the fact that he didn’t care at all. 

[asunshinepuff]

Secrets of the Darkened Seas

🧜🏻‍♀️ Hello! Welcome to chapter two! Please please please give a like and follow to my co-author and best friend Luna ( @epithymiahua​ ) because this story would not be where it’s at without her help!

She’s incredible and deserves so much credit for working on this alongside me cause she works so hard. And I feel horrible that she isn’t getting the credit deserves. Especially since this chapter includes her own oc! All credit for his creation goes to her because she’s worked so hard to create him!

As always, a reminder that there is some lore included within this, however it will be explained over time so no worries. There’s no mention of lore for right now.

The Included lore on different types of merfolk will be taken from the book “The Secret World of Mermaids” by Francine Rose. I will not take credit for it’s writing. It’s a childhood book of mine that I adore dearly and sincerely think you should all check out!

Also! Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list so that you don’t miss a new chapter!

Anyways, that’s about it. I hope you enjoy! 🧜🏻‍♀️

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Chapter 2: The Dragon’s Pearl

The man and the young boy made their way to the far side of the docks, the sun was beginning to make it’s descent to the sea. The water rippled below the hull of ships, anchors being lowered or weighing anchors to begin their sails back at sea. Some of the townspeople were making their trek home. Quinn and Remus approach the ship that Remus had seen earlier in the day from a distance. 

But up close, it was truly a sight to behold. The masts that were open, were a starking white, the wooden haul a rich brown mahogany, spotless with not a barnacle in sight. The railings were painted gold like the sun, freshly polished and not a splinter out of place. The bow had a golden nautical figurehead of a creature that Remus had never seen before. With a long serpentine body fully covered in scales, and large horns protruding from its head. A white spherical object clutched in one of its clawed hands. It’s jaws open as if to strike.

Remus’ eyes widened as he gazed upon the ship he had studied earlier. Glancing at Quinn, he couldn’t help but ask, “How has no one tried to steal this ship?”

Quinn chuckles, “Oh they’ve tried, but never got very far. My brother, the captain, is a force of his own that is not to be reckoned with.” He says with a smile. At Remus’ growing concerned face he quickly adds on, “Don’t worry. He might seem a bit… well, rather cold at first. To put it lightly. But he’s not a bad man.”

“How far have they gotten?”

Quinn muses for a moment in silence, as they make their way up the loading dock to the ship’s deck, thinking of the many times pirates - including the Blacks - have tried to take over the ship. “Never past deck.” He smiles at the crewmen preparing to sail as he stands in the middle of all their work. “Anyone seen the Captain?” 

“Last we saw him, he threw Ethan overboard.” A sailor responded courtly. He was dressed in black pants and boots, a white shirt, and a gold sash around his waist. 

Quinn looks to the sailor in bewilderment, “Again? What is that, the fifth time now?”

“Seventh actually, Ethan told the joke about the donkey.” 

“I told him not to do that.” He shakes his head with an exasperated sigh. “Never learns does he?”

A young man with short curly dark brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin was soaked to the bone in water as he marched back up to the ship. He looks to Quinn.   

“Don’t look at me like that, I told you not to tell that joke. You’ve brought this upon yourself.” The young man rubs his necks as he walks below deck to change. Quinn shakes his head before he turns to Remus as he claps his hands and rubs them together. “It’s harmless really.” The man groans in pain, as if to contradict Quinn. “Eh, mostly.” 

Remus watches the man in pain walk below the deck with widened eyes. He looks back to Quinn and the sailor, “Does that happen often?”

Quinn tilts his head back and forth with his arms crossed, “I’d like to tell you no, to ease you, but that’d be a lie. It happens on more than one occasion, though less often than you’d think.” He chuckles under his breath, “Now come along. I think it’s time to introduce you.” He then turns behind him and just smiles. “Hello, Min-Jun.”

Remus turns to follow, and nearly jumps in surprise. Lo and behold, said Captain was standing right behind them. The Captain was a tall young Asian man, around the age of twenty-one, with an expressionless face, had short straight black hair with part bangs, fair skin, and dark eyes. He was dressed in a well-tailored black coat with a dark forest green vest on top of a white shirt, black pants, and boots. At his hip was a wide sword with a dark forest green sheath with gold accents. 

“Quinn.” He says in a deep monotone. His posture was as straight at a board, his hand at his side, his left hand on the hilt of his sword. His gaze lowers to the boy beside Quinn, narrowing a fraction before he looks to Quinn. “You were at the Taverns again weren’t you?”  

“I will neither confirm nor deny.” 

“So that’s a yes.” A brow rises ever so slightly before it’s gone in the blink of an eye. The captain turned his head slightly to look over the boy. “Apologies for any idiotic schemes my First mate may have dragged you into. He is not the brightest, but his heart is in the right place. Usually. He has the unfortunate ailment of defying gravity. I once caught him upside down on the masts so there’s that.”

“And who put me there Min-Jun? Cause it certainly wasn’t me. I may do many schemes you might consider idiotic-”

“Because they are.”  His head leans to look at Quinn in a bored expression but his eyes held amusement. 

Quinn raises his eyebrows, giving a pointed look before continuing, “But I wouldn’t do that out of my own volition!’

The captain simply looks away, fully content to ignore the auburn-haired man. “I am Min-Jun Hua. The crew calls me Captain Hua. What is your name?” He looks back towards Remus. 

Remus was silent during the whole exchange, internally studying the interaction closely. He was uncertain whether the Captain and First Mate actually got along or if they hated each other, however, he caught the amusement in his eyes within their banter. They did get along. It was as if they were teasing each other. Maybe they actually did consider each other siblings. He noted with his own amusement now that his initial caution has about this new Captain has diminished. They’re so very different. How did they become companions?

“My name is Remus Lupin, Captain,” Remus replies with a curt nod, as he was trying to contain his nerves and seem content in the situation. He was uncertain if it was effective or not, but he seemed to take comfort in the fact that Quinn was so relaxed with the man.

Captain Hua says nothing for a long while as he stares silently at Remus. Completely motionless for what seemed to Remus, eternity, before the Asian finally looked like he took a breath. The Captain turned his gaze to his First mate. “He’ll be under your care for the meantime. Have him bathed, dressed, and fed before you send him to bed for the night. Tomorrow he can begin.” The captain says nothing more before he looks to Remus once again. “Welcome aboard the Dragon’s Pearl.” He gives a curt nod to Remus before he walks away to resume his duties. 

Remus lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding before looking to Quinn in surprise, “Why didn’t he ask any questions? Wouldn’t he want to know more about me before deciding to let me aboard?”

Quinn merely shakes his head before looking to Remus, “The Captain is an incredibly loyal soul, he respects privacy. If you wish to talk about your past then he will listen, and he will never mention it again without your approval.” He says with a smile. “He cares, deeply. He’d rather have you upon this ship then let you be on your own. That’s what happened to Ethan as well, he’s actually not that much older than you, Remus. He’s turning seventeen next moon.” Looking to the ship, he runs a hand upon the railing gently before continuing. “This old vessel has seen many stray boys board her, and she’s seen many of them become family. The captain only asks for loyalty, truthfulness, bravery, and devotion to family.” 

Remus smiles, comforted by his words. There was always more than meets the eye. He looks around the ship in surprise, “This ship looks brand new. How long has it been sailing waters?”

“Quite a long time. Practically hundreds of years. It’s been passed down through the generations of his family.” 

“That’s incredible.”

“It is.” Quinn remarks with a nod in agreement, before looking back to the boy, “Now, we’ll be embarking at dusk. You want to watch the ship be put to sea?”

The two got situated at a good viewing point for the departure after taking care of duties below deck. It felt rather strange, yet refreshing to Remus to dawn a new set of clothes. Yet his scarf stayed tied around his waist, as usual, at least he could take some part of familiarity with him. The Captain began to call out orders to the crew before he took his place behind the keel, the crew lowered the masts, catching the wind. The colors were hanged, where Remus could see the emblem on the masts and flag of the ship. A gold circle and in the center was the same creature that Remus had seen on the bow of the ship, but from the side. Only without the sphere. 

What sort of creature was that? Remus couldn’t help but wonder in curiosity as he watched the emblem upon the masts and flag of the ship.

“It’s a dragon. An eastern dragon.” Quinn says in reply, with a smirk upon his face as he looked to the boy. It seems Remus accidentally spoke aloud, and for once, he was alright with that. 

A loud shout echoed from a grumbling man who was making his way to The Dragon’s Pearl loading dock. Remus flinched as he recognized the voice of the drunken man from earlier, while Quinn moved defensively to shield the fourteen-year-old from sight. 

 “I know he’s up there! Where is he?!” The slurred words from the drunk captain all but screech out. The hooked nose man stumbled his way on board, his eyes locked onto the auburn-haired man who stood defensively in front of the former deck boy. “You!” 

“Me,” Quinn answered easily with a faint smirk. 

“Where’s that deck boy!?” The drunk captain practically roared into Quinn’s face. To which Quinn’s nose simply twitched at the smell of alcohol that reeked off the man. 

“Behind me, though I doubt you’d be able to grab him.” 

“Where’s your captin’, I ought to have a word with him. You goin’ ‘round stealin’ deck boys, ought to be ‘shamed of yeself.” The man nearly tumbled over.   

“Not stealing when he willingly came aboard. If anyone’s to be ashamed it’s you for your actions.” He retorts with a roll of his eyes then simply tilts his head, “You sure you want to have a word with my captain? You can hardly hold a proper conversation in your state. He won’t take too kindly to that factor.” 

“I wan’ see yer captin!” 

Quinn doesn’t respond for a moment, only looks behind the drunken captain with a bored look upon his face. “Turn around mate.”

“Wha’?” The drunk captain frowns with his mouth hanging open before he turns, nearly falling down when he sees someone standing behind him. Remus couldn’t help but hold a snicker back from behind Quinn as the drunk man flinched at the mere sight of the tall and sober captain. 

Captain Hua looked down at the drunk captain with an emotionless stare but his eyes held a look that screamed ‘How dare you bring your drunken arse onto my pristine and clean ship.’

“You wished to speak to me?” Was the leveled voice of Captain Hua. 

“A-aye.”

“You are not qualified to speak to me.”

The drunk captain staggered at the impassive tone. His face grew red. “Ye think you’re bet’er than me?” 

“To ask that question offends me.” Captain Hua raised a brow. 

“Where’s ye captin’s hat?”

“I don’t need one, I do not need to parade my status on my own ship, nor to ensure the respect of my own crew. They know who I am.” The Captain looked to his First mate. “Please escort this, man back to his ship.” Calling the drunk captain a man was incredibly respectful. Remus thought, truly Captain Hua had a class that was, unfortunately, being wasted upon this drunkard. But then again, Captain Hua didn’t acknowledge him as a Captain either. 

“That’d be Captain Barclay ta ye.” He shrugs the hand that grips his arm.

“No. I think the Captain is right. Mr. Barclay.” Quinn contradicts with a smile, “Now, allow me to escort you back to your ship. I’m sure you embark soon.”

“Not without that boy.” The drunk captain glared at the boy.

Captain Hua looked at the drunkard, then at the boy. “First Mate Sandoval, please step aside.” The drunk captain’s eyes widen at the title.

Quinn ignores the surprised look upon the drunkard’s face and instead looks to Remus. Giving him a small smile of comfort and a look that says ‘Trust us. You’ll be alright.’ Then looks back to his Captain, and with a nod, he steps aside. 

Captain Hua looked to the drunk man. “You can take this child to your ship, if you answer one question. If you answer correctly, you’re free to take him. If not,” His dark eyes narrowed, his left hand gripped the hilt of his sword, this sword was red compared to the first one Remus had seen. It was sheathed in a red case with gold accents. A strong pulse emitted from the sword as the pulse rippled through the ship. The ropes freed themselves from their knots, moving very much like serpents slithering up trees. 

The crew has stopped working and watched openly. “I will throw you overboard.”  

The drunk man didn’t notice the pulse of gold energy, nor did he notice the ropes begin to move on their own. Remus’ young eyes watched in amazement at Captain Hua, who’s sheer presence became overpowering, his aura seeming to infect the ship. Stupidly, the drunkard agreed. 

“What is the child’s name?”

“...” The drunkard frowned, Remus could practically see the mental strain on the man’s face. His brain was too far gone from the rum. “... Bernard.” 

Captain Hua did not look impressed. Not at all. He simply raised a brow before he looked to Remus to correct the man’s answer. 

Remus simply smiles and shakes his head. “Wrong.”

What happened next happened rather quickly, it was really a blur to be completely honest. Captain Hua wordlessly grabbed the drunkard by the collar of his shirt, lifted him off the ground and proceeded to walk, not in any hurry, effortlessly to the side of the ship, and threw the man overboard with ease. Remus’ jaw dropped a bit. 

“Why didn’t you just use the ropes?” Remus couldn’t help but ask in curiosity. 

Captain Hua merely gazed down at the swimming crewmembers from the drunk captain’s ship who threw themselves overboard to ensure the man didn’t drown. “And deprive myself of the pleasure of doing it myself? Never.” Captain Hua’s stoic face gave a smirk in delight. “I would never disgrace The Dragon’s Pearl to so much as even touch that drunk. It was painful to watch an alcoholic parade around with a captain’s hat and acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum.”  

“... How did you know he didn’t know my name?” 

Captain Hua looked down at Remus. “I have two answers. One; most people who make port hardly ever ask for a deck-boys name.” The captain began to walk away from the railing, Remus followed. “Two; even if by the off chance he did know your name, he would not have the sentimentality, nor the intellectual capacity to remember your name, especially while drunk.” He turned to look at Remus. “I would not have made that wager had I believed for a second he would be able to say your name. Not when he preferred to think with an organ that he did not have instead of his brain. Not to mention your name is unusual. I am not one to gamble. Especially with someone’s life.” 

Remus pauses for a moment taking in the Captain’s words, before asking the question he was truly reluctant to hear. “... What if he did say my name?”

Captain Hua looked at Remus for a long time before he looked away to the setting sun. “Then he would have won.” Captain Hua looked back to Remus. “It may seem cruel, but I will not lie to you, Remus. I do not break my word.” Captain Hua looked to the sunset once more. “I would have just challenged him to a duel if that was the case. The man couldn’t even walk straight let alone hold a sword.” Without another word, he walked away.  

Remus stood silently as he watched the Captain walk away, and looked out to the sunset once he was out of view. There was no relief of tension like he had initially anticipated when he first heard the words of the wager, as if he already knew he was safe. How exactly he determined that conclusion, he had no clue. But in his heart, he knew that was the case. 

He watched the shoreline of the port town he had always known, grow smaller and smaller with every glide of the ship, until it vanished from view- it was the start of a new life. A new chapter. Like each morning rise and evening set of the sun upon the sea.

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Tag List: (Let me know if you wish to be added!)

@whataboutmyfries

[incognitoman1-2-3-4]

Observations - A K18 Short Story

A/N: To celebrate this blog turning three years old, I wanted to revisit an old Krillin & Eighteen story I had written some time ago and publish it here on my Tumblr with some minor improvements. If you would like to read it, I sincerely hope you enjoy it. Feedback is much appreciated! 

K18 Forever ❤️

The serene ocean tide crawled ever closer towards Eighteen as she patiently roamed through the latest issue of her favourite weekly fashion magazine. Enjoying her mid-morning reading session, she mentally noted what items of clothing she pined to purchase and which ones she wished she could erase from existence.

“Seriously, who would want to be seen in that?" She vented to herself, squinting her eyes in disdain at the eccentric patterns on the outfit.

She flicked over to the next page, carefully readjusting her sunglasses. Well, they weren't exactly her sunglasses. She had successfully snuck them out of Krillin's bedroom while he was resting. It was a good thing that he was such a heavy sleeper, as well as being extremely generous with his belongings.

Little did Eighteen know that Krillin had awoken from his deep slumber and was now standing by the porch of Kame House. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the refreshing summer air before deflating his chest back to normal size. A content smile gradually etched itself across his dry lips; Krillin's infatuated eyes admiringly mused over Eighteen.

Sitting alone by the ocean's edge, she appeared as angelic as ever. Her face emitted a unique elegance unrivalled by any other. Krillin attentively observed Eighteen's subtle body language; her relaxed posture was a rare, yet pleasant sight. He decided to make his presence known, promptly advancing towards the shoreline.

The sound of Krillin's muted footsteps instantly caught Eighteen’s attention. Choosing to cast her magazine aside, Eighteen flicked her sunglasses to the bridge of her nose, fervently chewing on her bottom lip; he looked as fine as ever.

Despite his initial protests, she was so glad that Krillin acquiesced to her relentless insistence that he should grow out his jet black hair. Better yet, since the summer weather had come around, sightings of him without a top were becoming more and more frequent, permitting herself to gaze upon his well-toned muscles in all their splendour.

Sadly for Eighteen, Krillin had clothed himself this morning with a t-shirt that she had bought for him on their most recent trip to the mainland. Regardless of whether her little monk was topless or not, she didn't care what anyone said or thought about his appearance. To her, Krillin was simply stunning.

"Finally decided to get out of bed, uh?" Eighteen cordially greeted Krillin as he rooted himself on her left side. He retaliated swiftly with a kiss on her warm cheek.

“Well, you know me. If I ever get the chance to have a lay-in, I'll take it." He assuredly replied, spotting that his sunglasses were loosely hanging off of Eighteen's ears, "I see you've stolen my sunglasses again.”

"Hey!" Eighteen asserted, raising her arms in defence, "I didn't steal your sunglasses. I'm just borrowing them.”

"I ain't complaining." He then proceeded to straighten his sunglasses up for her, before adding, "You actually look kinda cute with them on.”

Without saying a word, Eighteen showed her appreciation of Krillin's kind comment with a habitual gesture. A gesture he didn't see all too often. But when he did, it meant the world to him.

"I've noticed you do that from time-to-time.”

"Do what?" She tentatively asked, feeling as if she had suddenly entered a "deer in the headlights" type situation.

"Don't worry. It's nothing bad." Krillin reassured her with a warm timbre in his voice, "I've just noticed that whenever I give you a compliment or if you see something you like, you have this tendency to needlessly brush your hair aside.”

Eighteen eyes immediately darted up to where her right hand was currently placed. It was exactly as Krillin described. She instantly felt the soft blonde tangles that ran between her fingers. In an effort to combat her self-consciousness, she instinctually moved her hand unto her lap.

"Have you seriously never noticed?" He enquired, watching Eighteen's face grow slightly perplexed.

"Not really, no. But if it's weird, I'll stop.”

"Weird?" Krillin answered calmly, pulling his knees up to his chest, "Take it from me. That hair thing you do is far from weird. It's just a quirky habit you have. That's all.”

“Habit?"

"Yeah. Everyone has them." Krillin added, lifting his eyes to the cloudless blue sky above him.

At that split-second, Eighteen's concerns morphed into curiosity. Now that she gave it some consideration, Krillin did have some fairly odd traits of his own. Realising this, Eighteen violently crashed her hands together with excitement. The resounding clash of her hands drew Krillin's eyes away from the empty sky and unto a far more captivating sight.

"You know, you sometimes start to laugh nervously when I stare at you." Eighteen astutely remarked.

Shaking his head from side-to-side, Krillin firmly disagreed with a great amount of confidence, "Erm- I believe you're imagining things because I'm pretty sure I've never done that before, babe." His confidence, however, was misplaced.

Eighteen silently folded the arms of Krillin's sunglasses, delicately resting them on top of her magazine.

"W-what are you doing?" His query reeked with diffidence.

Eighteen purposefully ignored him, electing to silently close the gap between them instead. Krillin dared not move, especially since Eighteen developed a kittenesque sheen in her eyes. She fearlessly pounced on him; Krillin willingly collapsed unto his back. The space between them was now non-existent. What quickly followed was inevitable.

"Ahh, damn it." He humbly admitted, "I guess you're right.”

"See," Eighteen gloated with raised eyebrows. She remained on top of him, resuming her point with a velvety inflexion, "and I think you laugh because you don't know what else to do when I have my eyes set on you.”

Krillin could provide no reply as strands of Eighteen's hair lightly tickled his besotted face. Her strong emphasis on the word, 'you' drew forth another excitable chuckle. Now that she had brought it to his attention, he couldn't stop himself. Nor did he want to.

Satisfied by the result, Eighteen distanced their proximity, if only by the smallest of margins. This gifted Krillin the chance to not only wipe off the soft sand from his back but also reveal another fascinating observation he made about Eighteen.

"Here's a good one!" Krillin's child-like enthusiasm gripped Eighteen, staring back him with a sense of anticipation, "You always make sure that the TV or radio volume is set at an even number.”

"You're kidding, right?" Eighteen answered him with a doubtful snicker.

"I am 100% serious. There have been times where I have deliberately set the volume at 19 and then I catch you changing it to 20 or 22-“

"Or 18?" She noted with a sense of irony.

“Exactly!"

"I can't say there's a valid explanation for it.”

"The only thing I can think of is that because of your name, you naturally prefer even numbers." Krillin's off-the-cuff reasoning technically made sense.

However, Eighteen wasn't fully convinced, logically stating, "If that's the case, then maybe my brother likes his volume set to an odd number.”

"That's gotta be true." He firmly agreed, "You should ask him the next time you see him.”

"Speaking of my brother, you two share a habit.”

"No way!" Krillin exclaimed with great elation, 'What is it!?”

"I wouldn't get too excited if I were you.” Eighteen warned him, hinting at the fact that this habit wasn't exactly a positive one, "You and Seventeen need to learn how to eat without talking at the same time.”

"Huh. I never would have imagined your brother doing something like that." Krillin remarked bemusedly. Even though he didn't know much about Eighteen's twin brother, he was relieved to discover that they did have something in common, even if it was as trivial as talking with their mouths full.

"Believe me, he's almost as bad as you." Eighteen slyly teased, sneakily resting her head on Krillin's shoulder. Sticking to the subject of her brother, she casually suggested to him, "Perhaps on my next visit to Seventeen's place, you could come with me.”

Eighteen almost lost her balance due to Krillin's sudden jolt. She fixed her eyes on him, studying the agitated expression which had rapidly overtaken him as he paced back and forth in front of her.

"D-do you think that's such a good idea?" Krillin responded apprehensively. This wasn't the first time the topic of Krillin meeting up with Seventeen had occurred. Whenever she mentioned it to him, he would quickly change the subject or brush it off with a fake smile. She decided it was time to tell it to him straight.

"What, so you don't want to meet him then?”

“N-no, I would like to meet him." Krillin unconvincingly replied.

Eighteen candidly returned with a stern tone, "Really? Because your face is telling me something completely different.”

Krillin halted in his tracks as Eighteen's words escaped her mouth. Disappointment followed her as she looked away from him, turning to face the transparent ocean.

Sitting back down on the sand, Krillin hoped he could clearly convey his anxious thoughts: "I really do want to meet your brother, Eighteen. I guess I'm just afraid that he’s gonna think that I'm not good enough for you. Or maybe we won't get along with each other.”

Eighteen's face perked up at Krillin's response. She could understand why he felt apprehensive towards her brother. Nevertheless, she desired to put his concerns to rest.

Taking a hold of his shaky hand, she sincerely reassured him, "Honey, you have no reason to be nervous. Seventeen is fully aware that we've been dating for a little while now and he seems pretty chilled about it. I mean even if he wasn't, I don't need his approval, or anybody else’s for that matter. I just think that we've been together long enough to pay him at least one visit from the two of us.”

"So, I don't have anything to worry about?" Krillin asked with a hint of courage in his voice.

Eighteen strongly shook her head, “None whatsoever. Besides, worst-case scenario, I’ll kick his ass and make sure he doesn’t even think about messing with you.”

Swiftly rising to his feet, Krillin boldly proclaimed, "Alright then! We better get going!”

"Go? Go where?”

"Well, I said that I wanted to meet your brother, didn't I?" Krillin clarified cheerfully, offering his right hand out towards Eighteen.

Gladly accepting Krillin's outstretched arm, she arose from the ground, asking with an ebullient expression, "You want to meet my brother right now?”

"Sure!" Krillin confirmed confidently, "I wanna do whatever makes you happy, Eighteen!"

His elegant blush was infectious; Eighteen's cheeks were being painted with an identical rose coloured hue. She tenderly caressed the sides of his face.

It simultaneously occurred to both Krillin and Eighteen that their impromptu decision to visit Seventeen was going to be a big step in their relationship. It was a step that neither of them could have even imagined taking when Eighteen first stepped foot inside Kame House. But they were so grateful that they had each other to take it.

As their bodies gently swayed, Eighteen inquisitively inquired, "Why are you so good to me, Krillin?"

The man in question instinctually released a nervous chuckle, before answering with a heartfelt resonance, "Because I love you.”

Neither of them knew for certain who exactly initiated the kiss. But one thing was obvious: neither of them cared. Their hands crawled around each other's bodies as their kisses grew more and more intense. It was a good thing Master Roshi and Oolong weren't around to see this. Krillin and Eighteen rarely got to physically express themselves since their housemates always stood around like vultures.

As Eighteen's fingers stealthily crept underneath his shirt to dance around the surface of his stomach, Krillin passionately pecked her neck, leaving little imprints of where his lips had been. It was yet another adorable idiosyncrasy Eighteen so dearly treasured about Krillin.

Soon enough, they carefully rested their foreheads against each other, leading them to stare intimately into each other's eyes. The exhilarating adrenaline which had thrust them into the moment was gradually settling down. Their pounding hearts were left playing catch up.

"Hey, Krillin?” Eighteen softly uttered, effortlessly attaining his gaze, "Before we leave, I just wanted to say thank you for doing this. You have no idea just how much this means to me.”

Little dimples appeared on Krillin's cheeks at the sight of Eighteen's signal of satisfaction.

"You just did your hair thing again.” He eagerly noted.

Eighteen embraced her little quirk proudly, "I know.”

"So, should we get ready to leave, babe?” Krillin asked, reaching down to grab Eighteen’s magazine and his sand-covered sunglasses.

"Hold on a second! I think I’ve forgotten something!”

“Huh? What did you forge-" Cutting off Krillin's sentence, Eighteen boldly pressed her lips onto his. She simply couldn't resist the alluring taste of Krillin's sweet kiss any longer. He gladly welcomed the interruption; he didn't mind being silenced if this was his reward for doing so.

Practising a rare instance of self-control, Eighteen gradually withdrew from their brief kiss, playfully stating, "Okay, now I'm ready.”

With every passing day, it seemed that Krillin and Eighteen managed to discover new things they adored about each other. From big gestures to small habits, each one brought them closer together and caused their love to deepen.

Taking flight to the endless blue skies above them, they joyously marvelled to themselves at where exactly their relationship was taking them. Their desired destination excited them. But the journey to arrive there excited them all the more.

THE END ❤️

[love-bean]

Spectacular - Prologue

so hello! i decided i would upload this in parts since it is quite long lol this is gonna be a little prologue type thing to help you get to know my oc a little bit and get the ball rolling. so without further ado!

wk: 1760

-o-o-o-o-o-

Growing up, Anastasia never understood why she had to be prim and proper while all of her older brothers did not. It made her life particularly un-spectacular.

“Miss Mackenzie,” the governess sighed. “Please do not do this today.”

“I just want an answer!” the nine-year-old groaned. “Why can’t I learn to shoot and ride and fight the way they can?”

“Augustus does not shoot or fight,” the governess pointed out.

“Augustus is only one year my senior. Our other brothers did not learn to fight until they were nearing 12,” the girl grumbled.

Sighing, the elder woman sat down beside her pupil. “Anastasia, there are many things a boy must learn in order to become a man. But there are different things that a girl must learn in order to become a woman. Unfortunately, although your mother has passed and you have no older sisters, you still must learn these things, no matter how upsetting it is to you.”

The little girl frowned and crossed her arms. They were both silent for a few moments before the governess placed a gentle hand on her knee.

“How about after we finish our lessons today, I will summon Alexander and perhaps he will take you riding.”

It wasn’t until she met Eloise Bridgerton that she truly understood the pressure of a young woman in society.

“It’s unfair,” Anastasia, aged 13 years, complained as she kicked a stray rock from the path.

“I agree,” Eloise replied, walking arm-in-arm with her new friend.

“Respectfully, you do not understand,” Anastasia said. “You have your mother, and your older sister, Daphne. You are well-guided. And you do not have to be perfect! I am the only girl in my family, and the youngest, and-”

“Anastasia,” Eloise interrupted gently. “Do not work yourself up. While I am not in the exact same position, I will still have to be a perfect lady eventually. Daphne will be married someday, and the responsibility will fall onto me to help guide Francesca and Hyacinth.”

They walked silently for a few moments before Eloise snorted out a laugh.

“Besides, your first season won’t even be for seven more years. You have plenty of time to perfect the art of perfection.”

Seven years. Anastasia wasn’t supposed to debut in society until after she turned twenty. That all changed when her governess fell ill and passed away shortly before her seventeenth birthday.

It was a hard loss for the Mackenzies, but it was particularly difficult for the youngest member of the family. Mrs. Henrietta Hobbs was the only female figure Anastasia had ever known, having been less than one month old when her own mother passed.

But the loss of Mrs. Hobbs sped Anastasia’s life into motion.

Anastasia stood in the sitting room by the window, watching the rain drizzle over London. It looked as miserable outside as she felt, and while not usually content to sit still, she did not have the energy to do much else.

“Sister.”

A gentle voice broke her from her trance and she wiped a stray tear away before turning her head toward the door where her eldest brother stood.

“Yes, Alexander?” she replied.

“Father would like us all to meet in the study,” he said, offering his hand. “That means you too.”

She nodded and walked toward him, wrapping her arm around his and allowing him to lead her through their home. In the study, their father sat behind his large wooden desk while their other three brothers had gathered in front of him.

“Ah, my beginning and end,” Lord Mackenzie said as his remaining two children entered the study.

As they joined their siblings, he stood.

“As you all know, we have been mourning the recent loss of Mrs. Hobbs,” he said, glancing at his daughter. “As a result, Anastasia, you will make your debut in this upcoming season. I will chaperone you as well as your four brothers. Am I clear?”

And make her debut she did. Not only was she named the diamond of the first water that season, but she found a husband by her third ball.

Of course, she shared many dances with many different suitors, all wishing to claim the hand of the only Mackenzie daughter. Mostly, however, she socialized with the three eldest Bridgertons, who were the only ones in attendance apart from their mother and who had become her close friends over the years she had known Eloise.

Anastasia stood at the edge of the ballroom, attached to her eldest brother’s protective arm, when three familiar faces approached them.

“Hello, Mackenzies,” Anthony greeted.

“Hello, Bridgertons,” Alexander replied in a similar fashion.

“Miss Mackenzie,” Benedict said, bowing his head slightly. “You look beautiful this evening.”

“Just this evening?” Anastasia teased. 

“I have always favored pink on you,” he replied with a lopsided smirk.

“Well, I am glad to have pleased you tonight and I will have to continue my efforts in doing so for the future,” she said dryly.

“She hates pink,” Augustus interrupted, flashing his younger sister a mischievous grin.

“You try having to wear nothing but the wretched color for your entire life,” she snapped quietly before straightening her posture and recovering from her unladylike outburst. “It is the color of weakness, of softness. It is the same color of dress every young lady wears to every ball; the same young ladies who fawn over my brothers, of all of you, I am sure.”

“In my opinion, softness is not equal to weakness,” Benedict quipped. “Tulips bear the same color, and yet they manage to survive the harshest of winters and longest of summers.”

“Only to be picked by a careless person and die within days,” she argued.

“Ever the optimist, Ana,” he said, tone warm and fond.

She rolled her eyes. “You have not called me that since I was but a child.”

“You are still but a child,” he said. “But over the years I have had the pleasure of knowing you, I have watched you blossom into a beautiful young woman, much like a tulip.”

She shook her head, chuckling.

“Please, Benedict,” Andrew groaned. “If you’re going to court my sister, fine. But at least ask her to dance first.”

In the end, it was one Lord George Weston who had the honor of marrying the youngest Mackenzie.

Lord Weston was nineteen years Anastasia’s senior, making him thirty-six at the time of their marriage. He was a kind and gentle man, expecting nothing but companionship from the girl.

In the long line of Westons, it was common for a man to die at a relatively young age. They often grew very tired very quickly, and were usually in a great deal of pain. Once infection set in, there would not be much time left.

George was no exception, and he knew that.

So, all he wanted was a companion to live out the rest of his days. He did not wish for heirs, for to produce an heir was to force upon them the same fate he would suffer. Half of his fortune would be inherited by a cousin on his mother’s side, one with heirs who would live until he was old and grey. The other half would remain with his wife.

And for which, he desired was a kind, honorable young lady whom he could spoil and make happy in his final days.

A young lady like Anastasia.

At first, he approached Lord Mackenzie with the proposal. He laid every detail out, specifying that he would seek neither a dowry nor heirs from his daughter in exchange for a few years of bliss before his time was up. Once the men were in agreement, it was explained to all of the Mackenzie children, who were under direct instruction to never speak of it to anyone else.

It was a hard secret to keep, but especially hard to keep from her dearest friend in the world.

“I cannot fathom actually being engaged at our age,” Eloise snorted.

“Eloise,” Lady Bridgerton sighed at her daughter’s noise. “Please at least try to be ladylike for once.”

“Please, Mama,” Eloise replied. “It is only my siblings and Anastasia.”

Her mother waved her hand and moved on.

“That is why I came to visit you today, El,” Anastasia said, wringing her hands. “I am engaged.”

Upon hearing the statement, Benedict began listening in on the conversation between his sister and his friend.

“Pardon?” Eloise deadpanned.

“I am engaged,” Anastasia repeated.

“To whom? When? Why?” Eloise fired.

“To Lord Weston, last night. And we are engaged because he will provide for me. He will take care of me for the rest of my days.”

“Surely you are not in love with him,” Eloise gasped.

“I am not,” Anastasia confirmed. “But I do believe I will grow fond of him.”

“Doomed to a life of fondness,” Eloise muttered. “Well, congratulations, my friend. I am happy for you if you believe you will be happy.”

“Happy about what?” Lady Bridgerton asked, only catching the end of the sentence.

“Anastasia is to be married,” Eloise said.

“Congratulations my dear!”

As he watched his family congratulate their close friend, Benedict felt his world turn upside down at the fact that the girl he loved was betrothed to another.

However, the few years Lord Weston was hoping to have turned into a few months, for he fell ill not six months after his marriage to Anastasia. And she was with him to the bitter end.

Anastasia sat in the same chair she had taken residence in for two entire weeks prior. She was at her husband’s bedside, keeping him occupied with books and art.

“Anastasia,” George croaked, interrupting the sonnet she was reading.

“Yes, my lord?” she replied, glancing up.

“I am dying,” he said. “My final days are coming, and I do not wish you to witness that.”

She placed a gentle hand on his. “I made a vow to you, and I intend to see that through.”

“I do not deserve your kindness,” he whispered.

“You have been nothing short of the perfect husband, George,” she said. “The months we have spent together, however few, have been the best of my life. I do not deserve your kindness, sir.”

“You deserve the world,” he insisted. “I do believe I have become quite fond of you.”

“And I you.”

He took his last breath three days later, his teary wife at his side. Upon his death, his cousin took over his estate and Anastasia returned to London to live with her family.

-o-o-o-o-o-

so there it is. a bit of backstory, a bit of introduction. very VERY roughly edited. i have much more coming but this just gets it going. let me know what you think if you have a spare moment! next part will either be coming tonight or tomorrow. much love x

[lucyhblack]

Summary: Inside the enemy lair!

Red watched the skeleton monster's lair with curiosity.

He was sitting on the edge of a chair, the claws of his feet gently brushing the floor, while his head swiveled from side to side, trying to absorb everything he saw (he could say it was to check for likely dangers or threats, but the the truth is that he was trying to memorize everything so he could tell Edge later), completely alert and prepared to jump and run if necessary.

The tall black-clad monster was in a corner, fiddling with a bowl over a strange metal box. There were so many smells there (delicious) that almost overwhelmed the young demon alone.

He tried to control himself, to remain still and alert, but it was impossible to contain his tail dangling behind him, venting all the nervousness and excitement he felt (he was inside one of their lairs! And he was not tied up or anything!), or the mouth is filled with saliva only with the smell of that place.

After a few minutes of stirring the bowls over the strange box (there was fire on it, but Red didn't see where the fire was coming from. Was it magical then? Strange, he was always told that those strange monsters had no magic) the tall monster turned around with the bowl in hand and poured what he was cooking into two smaller bowls.

-Wait a minute, it's hot. - warned the monster depositing one of the narrow bowls in front of him.

Red frowned irritably. He could see clearly that it was hot, there was smoke coming out of the bowl and he could feel his heat, even from afar. Did the monster think he was a babybones?

The monster then picked up a large loaf that was on another table (and that Red had been watching, wondering if he could grab it, as well as the strange-smelling pieces of meat on the magic box - very unlikely he thought, and yet he would definitely make an attempt) and sliced him up (he tensed when the monster drew his knife, but the monster had his back to him and had yet to radiate any malicious intent). With a large piece in his hands he opened a small box and started spreading something yellow on it.

Red wondered if it was some kind of torture. Its lights did not come off the knife and, despite all his tense body at the end of the chair, his mind could not help fixing on what was the yellow thing, and what would it be (there was a possibility that it was some kind of poison, but if it were, the monster was pretty foolish to do it in front of you).

The monster deposited the bread on a plate and placed it in front of Red. The latter looked at the bread and back at the monster who had cut another piece and was again passing the yellow paste over it, just deigning to throw the briefest of moments looks on the demon.

His whole posture was calm and carefree, but Red would not be deceived. He had learned that monsters were cunning, and could change quickly, showing a calm and gentle posture only to attack him next.

He had all his attention on the skeleton monster (and it was so weird... to see a monster so similar to him and yet so different. It was kind of disconcerting to see that smooth, round skull, without the slightest indication of horns, or not being able to count with a tail behind him to read his intentions and emotions more clearly).

When the monster finished with the bread, he pulled out the second chair and sat facing Red. Red lights fixed on him and Red stood straighter. The monster smiled and incited.

-You can eat. - And as if to prove the point, he took a bite of the slice he was holding.

The little demon only moved on the older monster's third bite. He was still suspicious, but he could no longer contain himself (and if he were poisoned the monster would die before him, at least). He grabbed the bread and took a bite of it, as soon as the food dissolved in his mouth he had to control himself not to swallow it all at once.

By the stars! That was wonderful! He took care to digest only half the bread, the other half he pretended to chew, but just swallowed it, letting it sit inside him (along with several cherries). He would save it for Edge so he could prove it later.

Red ate the bread slowly (to avoid consuming it entirely), but in large bites, without taking the lights off the monster, watching him intently in silence while the other skeleton stared back at him by taking small bites of his meal. Its equally red lights did not transmit anything. Red wanted to growl, but he was too busy licking his fingers.

-Do you want another slice? - He asked in a soft tone.

Red took one last lick of the phalanges (lamenting when the divine taste was gone and only the dryness of his bones was left behind) and studied the monster carefully. Lights of it traveled from the bread on the counter and back to the monster that waited patiently. Red swallowed.

-Why?

The monster blinked, but unlike the surprise he expected, he saw satisfaction on the marked face.

Red didn't understand that monster. He had scars on his face, which proved that he was a surviving hunter, but he spoke low and gently, and passed nothreatening aura and did not react to him with all the other monsters he had met.

-Why am I offering food?

Red just nodded. Food, shelter, help, kindness... mercy... All those things that he knew (that had been hammered into him since he was born) that no monster would give him.

-Because you are a being created by the Angel and it is my duty to love and care for all creatures created by Him.

The demon blinked. Those words didn't make any sense to him. He did not know who this Angel was (his progenitor had been dead for a long time now, but he was sure that was not his name and no one else created him after his death). He just stared at the him waiting mand the skeleton monster smirked before speaking.

-Because you are hungry and I have food. - He shrugged.

The idea was so absurd that it made Red laugh out loud.

The black-clad monster stared at him in surprise, but made no move, even when Red cut his laughter by shrinking and looking at him in fright, ready to escape the slightest sign of displeasure from the other monster.

The tall skeleton tilted his head and Red noticed that he looked more intrigued than annoyed.

-You do not believe me?

-Why should? You monsters always have food, but you never share it with anyone, so why are you feeding me?

The monster turned off its lights and looked out over the garden that could be seen through the window. He was immersed in silence and Red watched him until he was about to walk away, tired and irritated by the enigma that was the other skeleton.

-Are not you tired? Tired of hiding, starving, cold... fearing?

Red was surprised by the question. Of course yes! But what choice did he have? Of course, he was tired of feeling weak from hunger and despair, of always looking over his shoulder, afraid to take a monster to his hiding place or to be caught when looking for food. Life was like that for someone who wasn't strong enough, and even if it sucked, he wasn't about to give up on it (he could not!), however cruel and horrible it was.

He snarled and the monster finally turned to him. Seeing his fury (and fear) he just stared at him without moving.

-You could have a different life. Safe, without hunger, without cold... without fear.

Red fell silent and blinked. What kind of ruse was that?

-How? Letting you kill me?

The monster widened its orbits, looking shocked before frowning and speaking in an irritated tone.

-I said "have a life"! I believe that for that you need to be alive and not dead.

Now it was Red's turn to blink in confusion, both in tone and words. He couldn't figure out what the other skeleton was trying to imply (and the fact that he seemed genuinely irritated by his possible death was even more intriguing). Tired of the monster games he decided to ask straight away.

-What are you trying to say?

-I'm saying that you can have a different life. I can teach you! How to be a monster... how to... pretend to be a monster, and live among us and no longer need to steal and hide .

Red stared at the dumb monster in astonishment. This guy could only be crazy!

-You could live in a house. - made a gesture indicating the den around him - Stay safe and have food, no longer be hungry or afraid, not to be chased. Have a peaceful life!

The monster's voice had gained strength with his speech, its red lights (two oval red rings, similar to his, but more rounded than his, that were sharper at the tips), had increased in its animation, making Red think on his little brother when he discovered something new, like a colorful frog or heard some ornate report from Red about his hunts.

Red realized that he had retreated in the chair with the tone of the monster and it also retracted when noticing the wide orbits of the smaller one. A soft red glow painted the bones of the monster's face and Red would have laughed had he not been so amazed.

Okay, this guy didn't hit his head well. That was obvious now. First by defending a demon, protecting him and standing against his own people. Then inviting him to his den, feeding him and now coming with this crazy talk of turning him into a monster! Better get as much food as you could and get out.

-Sorry, I think I got excited... - he said without looking at him. Reaching out, he picked up the bowl in front of his plate and took a sip.

Red followed the movement with cautious lights that ran to his own tall, narrow bowl, with a kind of handle on the side, in anticipation.

Cautiously he reached out and took it. It was of a strange, hard material, but not wood, stone or metal. The sides were still warm, not that it mattered, he had no skin to burn.

Bringing it to him, he spied the contents. Inside was a strange-looking liquid with a whitish foam on top. It felt almost like the puddles of rain at the entrance to his cave... he sniffed suspiciously at the dirty liquid, but the smell just made his mouth water without giving him any clue as to what it might be. Seeing the monster watching him, he turned the glass with despite, to prove that he was not afraid of the monster.

The liquid was still hot, not that it mattered much, he could have taken the liquid boiling, it wouldn't make any difference since he could control his magic to ignore the temperature.

He might not feel the heat, but he definitely could taste it, and for the stars! That was delicious! The liquid was thicker than water and sweeter than any fruit that he already tasted. It felt so good that he turned the mug over at once, his tongue coming out to lick the last of the remains from the bowl.

A hand pulled the container gently and he growled trying to keep it, clinging insistently, not ready to give up without first sucking up to the last drop.

-I'll fill it up again for you. - Said the monster gently trying to take the bowl from Red's claws.

Reluctantly (just because there was a promise of more), Red dropped the bowl and the monster turned to the metal box and the bowls on it. Red did not unglue the monster's lights, eagerly anticipating that sweet delight.

He thought, with regret, that he couldn't share it with Edge. He couldn't keep the liquid inside himself, not when he already had the bread and the cherries in the magic pocket he had created (not to mention that take away solid things was easy, but liquid? He was sure he couldn't do it without making a mess and waste the precious liquid).

The monster returned in moments and deposited the bowl on the table, but as soon as Red launched himself at it, the monster removed it. Red looked at him angrily and betrayed and the monster just stared back with a raised eyebrow without being intimidated.

-Expect to cool down a little.

Red wanted to send him fuck off, but decided to play nice for now. After all, it is better not to antagonize him (not when the monster could take the precious bowl from him). Seeing his displeasure the monster pushed his plate towards him and Red was quick to grab the half-eaten bread before the monster changed its mind.

The monster sat down and deposited the bowl on the table again. Red stared at the vapor floating on the liquid, but did not reach for it. He was soon distracted when the monster said again.

-As I was saying, I'm sure I could teach you how to pretend to be a monster and have a safer life.

Still on it? Thought Red with dismay. He just wanted to take the tasty liquid and get some more of the monster's supplies before he left, never to go back to that windsock again. Rolling his lights on, he decided to put an end to these nonsense.

-Oh of course! And since you are so sure, how about telling me how you would do that? Or what would you do with that? - He spoke pointing to his growing horns (they were still small, but one day they would be big and only the sight of them would make the monsters fear him). He had a good idea of what the monster was going to suggest.

His progenitor had alerted him to monsters like that. Monsters that would cut off its tail and pluck its horns and leave it for a slow death. Contradicting (once again) his expectations, the monster shrugged.

-Many monsters have horns and tails. You will be no different. We can say that you are the cross between a skeleton monster and a goat or bovine monster.

Remembering the bull monster that had chased him, he grimaced, insulted that he even thought he was partly like him. The monster looked at him and smiled, its red lights shining with amusement and understanding, probably remembering his clash from minutes ago.

The monster propped his elbows on the table and crossed his fingertips before leaning slightly towards Red, who flinched a little instinctively. Without seeming to notice the little demon hesitation, he continued with the lights shining greedily.

-You could have a better life! Without starving or fearing other monsters, at least not because it is what it is. Could you... - He broke off when he saw the child shaking his head.

-Wait there... And what do you get out of it?

The monster fell silent and watched him, looking surprised. He dropped his hands and leaned back in his chair, his lights fixed on the table. His contemplative expression seemed to be coming up with was thinking the next lie.

Red suddenly felt tired.

He just wanted to get out, go back to his cave and his little brother, where things were simple and he didn't have to deal with strangers' delusions.

He almost did, sliding to the edge of the chair, ready to jump and make a run for the fire box to grab some of the food there and then jump out the window (he glanced sadly at the bowl, but honestly it was starting to seem less and less tempting to listen to the other's litany, even if the reward was sweet nectar).

-Satisfaction, I believe.

The response caused Red to stall, his escape plans aborted temporarily. Seeing his surprise, the monster crossed its long legs and seemed to relax even more in the chair before elaborating its enigmatic answer.

- In concrete terms, this small offer would not benefit me at all, except for the satisfaction of a "good deed".

The way he spoke it seemed like there was more to it, but the monster didn't elaborate any more.

Red digested the monster's words, reviewing and analyzing them and the tone and posture of the other, trying in every way to decipher what he was saying.

He did not understand. Would he not gain anything? Just the satisfaction of helping him? This... this was absurd!

Nobody would do anything for others if they didn't get something in return. At least that was how it was with his people. Monsters were so strange!

Enough! He was done with it.

The best (and easiest) food would not be worth all this talk (which was starting to give him a headache from trying so hard to understand the enigma that was the monster, not to mention all the tension of being in the presence for so long and in a monster's lair).

No more wasting time with this monster. He had to go back and check on his little brother (and share his “hunt”). This conversation was getting nowhere. Time to test how far the “goodness” of that skeleton went.

-Not. - Said categorically.

The monster blinked. His surprised expression withered and became one of sadness and then conformism.

-I understand.

He answered simply and Red waited alert and ready in case the monster finally attacked him, now that Red has made it clear that he would not cooperate with his absurdities. The seconds passed and Red prepared to get up again when the monster spoke.

-Your chocolate must be cold already.

Red blinked and after a moment he followed the monster's lights and found himself staring at the bowl. The monster got up and Red jumped to his feet. The two stared at each other for another impassive moment before the monster smiled placidly.

-Drink your chocolate, I'll prepare a bag for you to take. If you can't accept my offer, at least accept my help.

Without waiting for an answer, the monster turned and left the room, going further into the den. It only took Red a second to consider what to do. Reaching out, he grabbed the bowl and turned it over, swallowing it all in one gulp (he regretted not being able to stop and properly enjoy the taste, but he wasn't going to waste easy food like that).

Dropping the empty bowl on the table he ran over to the fire box and grabbed as many of the strips of meat hanging above (he wondered what exactly it was, they looked like string beans and smelled like the dried meat he prepared for the winter months).

Throwing it over his shoulder, he went to the counter and grabbed the rest of the bread and the box of yellow cream.

He wanted to be able to take more stuff, but not carry it and not even time to spend searching. He wasn't going to stay and wait for the monster to return (what if he came back with a gun, or with other monsters to arrest him? Or more of that crazy conversation... Better not risk it).

Climbing up on the counter, he reached the window and jumped into the garden on the other side. A quick glance showed that the garden was deserted. He then ran to the low stone wall and passed easily.

This monster's lair was next to the largest lair in the monster territory, which due to its size was further away from the other lairs and closer to the forest.

He sneaked across the terrain, keeping himself crouched so as not to be noticed, until he reached the trees. Under the shadows of the forest he straightened up and started running, taking care to take several detours and cross the river (using all the tricks he had been taught and learned from experience) before heading to his lair.

As he ran, he thought it wasn't such a horrible date. What had seemed like the end for him (and his brother) when he was caught by the monsters, turned out to be an easy meal for him and his little brother (and even the rocks he took or the strange conversation was a small price for what he hoped would be a few days without hunger, and a icredible story to tell).

Not bad at all!

[turbulentt]

Just Friends

genre: smut | mingyu × fem!reader

word count: +2.6k

warnings: size-kink, dirty talk, explicit content, unprotected sex, public sex

sumary: you and your psych classmate, kim mingyu, have been friends for a while now and you start to doubt your feelings towards the boy. after testing his limits at his friend’s party, mingyu proves to you that, in fact, you have a crush on the taller boy.

“I’m telling you! It will work.” Mingyu said confident, truly full of himself. 

“I don’t believe until I see it. I still think you’re going to get a straight no,” you said playfully while walking through the hallways with the taller man by your side.

Mingyu was sure he could trick one of his friends into hosting a party this weekend, one he already stated he didn’t want to host for like six times, using a luring strategy that you both learned in psych class.

You both walked to the group of boys in the corner of the cafeteria and you could see how people looked at both of you. It wasn’t very surprising though, you have already heard the rumors that roam in the hallways about you and Mingyu being a couple. For you, your relationship was like any other, classmates who casually became friends. Nothing more, right? Well, denying you don’t find him attractive would be a lie, but you don’t really think he’s into you, so you just keep yourself in the same zone of your friendship.

Finally approaching the group of boys you are the first one to be greeted. For some reason, Mingyu’s friends liked you the very moment Mingyu presented you to them. And, thinking about that, you don’t really get why he introduced you to his friends since the two of you are just casual friends that don’t even hang out that much.

“Okay, I get it. She replaced me.” Mingyu faked pouted and turned to Seungcheol. “Hyung.”

“No.” Seungcheol was quick and effective with his response.

“I told you.” you laughed by Mingyu’s side but he just shushed you.

“Just listen to me.” he sat by his side and the elder looked at him with curiosity. “It is not just a regular party. If it was, even I would host it. I’m asking you to do it because it is good for you. You need the status, Hyung.” Mingyu was looking him straight in the eyes and his hands were moving according to his words.

You had to admit, you were quite impressed. He was really using what you had learned in class. His posture struck dominance, one important point to make him win the argument. Mingyu also used the ‘need’ strategy, which is pretty effective when you want someone to be convinced of something. And his hand gestures resembled confidence in what he was saying. You took a quick look at Seungcheol and there was when you knew. Mingyu won the argument.

“You can always say no like you’ve been doing. But I really wanted to explain to you why I’ve been so committed to getting you to host the party.” and there was his final strike. Shit, why did this sudden burst of confidence made him look so hot?

“Fine. I guess you’re right. I’ll host the party.” Seungcheol sighed and laughs could be heard all around the table. “This Friday at eleven. You’re helping me,” he stated and everyone agreed.

Mingyu looked at you from across the table and winked. You rolled your eyes at the boy and felt your phone vibrate. How obnoxious could he be? You were both on the same table but he decided to text you.

Mingyu: I hope you have smth good to wear this Friday

   You: Why?

Mingyu: Bc u’re going to the party with us

   You: And why would I go?

Mingyu: Bc u want to

You just looked at him with a ‘Really?’ expression for trying to use a psychological trick with you. He just smiled and tilted his head mouthing a ‘Don’t you?’.

   You: Sorry, that one doesn’t work with me

Mingyu: Okay, what if I tell u that I want u to go?

   You: U do?

Mingyu: Actually I do. Really badly

You just stood there looking at the last text he sent, your heart started racing inside your chest and your breathing was becoming heavier. Since when did he make you feel like that?

Mingyu: Y/N? Why r u blushing?

Defeated by his smugness you just stood up and headed off while quickly saying goodbye to everyone. You had to find something to wear to the party. 

[The next friday] 

You were standing by Seungcheol’s door regretting your decisions. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have come. You can always go back. You’re not the party type, that should be obvious for everyone. But, on the other hand, Mingyu has been so excited to see you there. He even texted you the entire day making sure you’d go. You can’t ruin his expectations now. So you just rang the doorbell and waited until the door opened. It burst open and a happy Soonyoung appears. 

“Hi,” you said a little shy. 

But the older boy just stood there, with his mouth wide open and a famine expression. You then remembered what you were wearing. He must have been struck by your see-through top that showed your black lace bralette. 

“H-Hi… Y/N.” his voice sounded shaky and he just looked down while giving space to let you in. 

There were already a lot of people in the house, even though it was still early. You looked around, looking for the host. When you found him, you just walked to him. As you passed through, people looked. Guys, girls, everyone was eyeing you from the bottom to the top. 

“Cheol Oppa!” you called and he turned to you smiling instantly. “The party is amazing.” you complimented. 

“Thank you, Y/N. You look amazing.” he took your hand and made you spin around to look at you. “Are you this beautiful for Mingyu?” he laughed. 

“W-what? No. No.” you choked with your own words “I just…” you couldn’t explain, maybe you really were dressed up for him. To make him notice you. “Do I have a crush on Mingyu?” you thought to yourself. 

“It’s okay. I was just kidding.” Seungcheol laughs even more “But, just in case you want to know. He’s by the kitchen handling the drinks.” he looks at you with a suggestive look and you just ignore his dirty thoughts while heading to the kitchen. Mingyu was the only person you had more intimacy at that party, even though his friends always took you so well you always felt more comfortable next to him. 

As you enter the place the first thing you do is to search for the boy that kept wandering in your thoughts. You spot him next to the beer machine while talking to some random people. You were about to take a step further, however, something stopped you from doing it. A girl was clinging onto his arm, he didn’t seem too comfortable with the girl’s action, but nor did he tried to back up from her touch. Furiously, you take the first drink available and get out of the kitchen before combusting.

“I’m so mad, really mad.” you think to yourself, trying to find a quiet spot to drink without being bothered “Why am I mad though? Am I jealous?” that thought just hits your head like a truck and there you realize what had been tormenting you lately “Fuck, I like him.” you slap your own forehead after listening to your own words.

“Who do you like?” you hear a voice approach, his voice “Hm?” Mingyu’s body was dangerously next to yours and you could already feel his hot breath. You decide not to answer, it would be too much of an embarrassment trying to find an excuse and fail while stuttering. He smirks and raises your head gently by your neck, so he can look at you. You feel intimidated by him, not in a bad way. You feel intimidated at how well his body heat felt. At how strong and tall he was and how easily he could just pick you up at that exact moment and make you his’. “What do you need, Y/N?” Mingyu’s raspy voice whispered next to your ear “Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.”

How could he be such a smug without even trying hard? How could he make your heart feel like it could explode anytime? How could he be so damn handsome standing right in front of you with that infernal gaze?

“I-I…” you couldn’t form words, it felt like your body was pleading for him, but you knew you had to resist the temptation “I need to go.”

You quickly swift away from the taller boy leaving him behind with a frustrated and confused expression. 

That party wasn’t even near to be over and you already were a mess. “It’s better to go home.” you think looking back at where you left Mingyu. When your eyes met his’ he just winks and smirks once again. You blush violently and go out the front door with no hesitation.

[The next monday]

“I’m sorry, Cheol. Something happened and I really needed to head off earlier,” you explain yourself to the guy in front of you and he just shrugs. He knew something wasn’t adding up, but he wouldn’t pressure you since he doesn’t really want to bother you. He just left for his class.

The class finally starts and you can feel Mingyu’s burning eyes on you the entire time. He was doing it on purpose because he knows it bothers you and you can’t focus properly when you know someone is watching. On a normal day, you would’ve been mad, but the only thing you could do was blush as look away from him, trying hard no to think of him.

The class seemed endless, like minutes turned into hours, and you could only feel your frustration grow bigger. The teacher sounded more tedious than he ever did and you haven’t been so uninterested in psychology like yo are today. “Fuck you, Mingyu. Get out of my head.” you sigh letting your head rest on the table.

“Class dismissed.” the teacher announces and you couldn’t be happier to hear it. You try to grab your stuff as quickly as possible to exit the classroom, but the more desperate you became to grab things the more clumsy you got. Everyone was almost out when you finally got everything you needed. As you were walking through the door a strong hand pulls you back inside and forces you into the wall.

“Are you going to run away from me again?” he blocked your sides so you wouldn’t have a wait out and lowered his face to meet yours “Are you afraid of me, baby girl?” he bites your earlobe seductively and you let out a small sigh.

“M-Mingyu… I d-don’t.” you try to say but as soon as you feel his big hands grab you by your ass you give in. 

“Don’t try to deny me. I know you like me.” he tightens his grip and places wet kisses in your neck “I like you too, baby girl. And I’ve dying to fuck you,” he confesses and you hold your breath surprised. He lifts you up by your ass, pinning you to the wall so you can finally be at the same level as him. “But you’re so small…” Mingyu’s thumb slightly caresses your bottom lip and you just smile at his action “I’m afraid I might break you.”

“Don’t be.” you finally speak up “Break me apart. Fuck me hard.” you moan out in expectation leaving him speechless. But it doesn’t take him to much time to come back to the real world and hungrily take your lips into a heated kiss. As you’re kissing you feel him walk to the nearest table and sitting there. You break apart from the kiss only to start leaving small bites in his neck and desperately looking for his belt.

“You’re so eager for my cock, Y/N.” he throws his head back in amusement and you bite your lip looking at him with innocent eyes. He stares back at you and you can feel the bulge in his pants grow bigger, he was as eager as you. Without wasting any more time you take his pants off, kneeling in front of him and being face to face with his covered erection.

“It looks so… big.” you think to yourself while licking your lips, it must taste really good. Rapidly you free him from his boxers and his bulge sprung to life with full power. “You’re so big…” it’s the only thing you can say after seeing the boy’s cock “Will he fit inside of me?” is the first thought to come to your head.

“Can you take it, baby girl?” he asks gently caressing your cheek “I know you can.” he encourages you to keep going, he really needed to feel your soft lips around him. So you started shy, licking his tip earning some low moans, but, not satisfied, you decided to take it into your mouth as much as you could. Mingyu let out a loud moan and his large hand gripped your hair tightly making you close your eyes. What you couldn’t take in your mouth you pleasured with your hands and you knew how much Mingyu was enjoying it, you could feel how warm and how much his length was pulsing inside of your mouth. “You feel so… so good. Fuck… Y/N.” he moans helplessly.

His grip starts to lose strength and you know he his seconds from coming, so you just deep throat him the best you can. After a long and husky moan, you feel his liquid slide down your throat, swallowing every bit of it while making eye contact with him.

“You’re over now.” Mingyu picks you up and lays you on the table “I hope your little pussy can take me as well as your mouth did.” he groaned undressing you as quick as he could. He hops on the table and lays right on top of you. Again, you felt intimidated, maybe he was right about breaking you. But you were also thirsty for his cock and you couldn’t deny it. Mingyu slides one of his hands through your wet heat and smirks “Is this all for me? So wet…”

He takes his fingers to his mouth and licks them staring straight into your eyes.

“Stop teasing me…” you begged. Not wanting to wait anymore either, Mingyu took his length and placed it in your entrance slowly sliding in, as he also felt like it was quite difficult. “O-Oh fuck…” you moaned loudly. 

“You’re so tight, baby…” he panted burying his face in your neck after successfully fully entering you “… but you feel so damn good.” he gave an unexpected thrust and you screamed out his name. “Fuck…” he seemed aroused at the way his name exited your lips.

You slightly moved your hips looking for contact and Mingu started moving. Unlike his kind and sweet self, Mingyu was being rough and going hard. You felt like you were seeing stars and his name kept slipping through your lips “M-Mingyu… Ah yes… Like that…”

Motivated by your pleas, the boy kept hitting you roughly right in your sweet spot, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer. “Hard… Oh fuck, G-Gyu…” you scratched his back trying not to pass out from so much pleasure.

“Shit, Y/N… I’m coming…” he breathed out, giving his lasts thrusts into you with all the strength he got “Y/N..” he moans low next to your ear after releasing all his liquid inside of you. You cum right after screaming his name so loud that probably the entire university heard it. Mingyu gets out of you slowly and helps you stand up. 

“We need to do this more often.” you chuckle dressing yourself up. 

“Oh definitely, baby.” he slaps your ass jokingly while watching you walk away from the classroom.

[jadejedi]

Love Does Not Fail (7/?)

Summary: When Anakin saves the galaxy from Palpatine, Padmé and his children survive, but their family is split apart nonetheless. Leia is taken to be raised in the Temple, not knowing that the Jedi who “found” her is actually her father. Luke grows up with Padmé, knowing only his mother’s side of the family. But some things are inevitable.

Chapter Summary: A new darkness arises in the galaxy.

ao3 link: here

A/N: Sorry it’s been nearly ten months lmao. Oops. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! (more notes and thoughts on ao3)

“Are you sure that this is the best time to start dragging him around the galaxy?” Anakin asked Ahsoka skeptically, with a bit of an edge to it. She knew he was protective of Luke, and she respected that but-

“I am his teacher, Anakin,” she reminded him, trying to keep her tone gentle rather than defensive . They met about once a month, usually at some diner or bar in what she wouldn’t necessarily describe as a shady part of Coruscant, but shady-adjacent, perhaps, to catch up and talk about Luke’s training. “He’s ready to do some travelling without Padmé. And it’s not like it’ll be anything different than what he does with Padmé, anyways. Just more of a focus on training.” 

At the still unconvinced expression on his face, Ahsoka sighed, and softened. “I promise I’ll be extra careful on what assignments we take him on. We won’t get involved in this Snoke guy’s business.”

“I know,” Anakin sighed. “I still don’t like it.”

As much as she believed Luke was ready to do some travelling with her and Barriss, she understood Anakin’s worries. Five months ago marked the beginning of a new Senate rotation. Bail Organa’s time as Chancellor was over, as he had set stricter term limits for the office. Mon Mothma had been elected Chancellor, and her Vice Chancellor was now Mazun Dul, the Senator from Corellia. 

Dul’s election had been troubling to many, as he represented a new political party that had arisen with Palpatine’s downfall. They called themselves the First Order. Their leader, Corellia’s new prime minister, a man called Snoke, pushed for Republic expansion in the Outer Rim as well as less Republic intervention in already ‘civilized’ worlds.

The First Order was good at playing around the issue, but Ahsoka, as well as Padmé and many others, could tell that they held the same anti-alien sentiments that Palpatine had secretly harboured. 

Since the election of Snoke, Corellia had been swept up in violence, from both its criminal element and from his political detractors. Other worlds that also had a First Order presence had also started experiencing small amounts of violence, usually protests gone south, or riots. 

“Look, whatever Snoke is playing at, he won’t get very far,” Ahsoka tried to reassure him. “People are still wary of conflict so soon after the Clone Wars. They’ll get tired of the violence he’s stirring up. And I promise we’ll stay away from worlds with a First Order presence; we’re going to Kashyyk. Since Wookies have a long history of being exploited in this kind of conflict, their leaders are worried. Padmé just needs us to go and calm them down a bit. We’ll be talking to their leaders, then delivering supplies to an area affected by a storm; we’ll be fine.”

Ahsoka was the best person for this job, because she understood Shyriiwook, and she knew one of their leaders. 

Anakin gave her a look. “Isn’t that where you got kidnapped and hunted for sport?”

“That was Trandosha,” she corrected him. “It’s close by, but we’ll be coming from a totally different direction,” she assured him. “We won’t even be passing by it.”

“Fine,” Anakin assented begrudgingly, even though Ahsoka wasn’t really looking for his permission. 

“Make sure you keep your lightsabers out of sight,” Anakin reminded her, and she had to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

“I’m not stupid,” she told him, raising an eyebrow.

“I never said you were!” 

“You’ve got to trust that I know what I’m doing, Anakin.” She sighed. “The lightsaber laws are nothing new. Barriss and I would never do anything that would put Luke or Padmé at risk.”

Years ago, not long after Bail Organa had been elected Chancellor, there had been some debate about the Sith, and whether or not it was illegal to hold such beliefs. However, it had not been popular to criminalize an entire religion, so instead, certain measures had been put into place to appease the Jedi, such as making it illegal to carry or wield a lightsaber unless one was a member of the Order. 

Ahsoka continued to carry her lightsaber anyways, concealed away in a pocket or in a bag.

“How is Leia?” she asked, changing the subject.

Anakin did not look impressed by her attempt to move on, but did so anyway. “She’s doing well, I think. She’s near the top of her clan in lightsaber skills.”

“Have you ever considered teaching more than just lightsaber classes?” she asked.

“No,” he replied with a shake of his head. “My teachings aren’t very orthodox.” 

She laughed. “No, they’re not.” She smiled at him. “I learned a lot from you in just three years, and lightsaber duels was only a bit of it.”

“Me and the Jedi ways don’t get along very well,” he insisted.

Ahsoka shook her head, exasperated. “Anakin, you always complain about the things the Jedi teach, but you never bother to teach yourself.”

Anakin crossed his arms defensively. “I’m more of a duelist than a philosopher. I’m doing my best with them, Snips.”

Ahsoka softened. “I know you are. I’m sure Leia appreciates having you around, even if she doesn’t know why. But, I really think that you could be a good influence on them. Don’t you? Give them a new perspective?”

“I’m sure Obi-Wan would be thrilled that I’m taking an interest in philosophy,” he agreed after a moment of consideration. “I don’t know about everyone else.”

She laughed. 

--

Ahsoka went straight to the apartment she shared with Barriss after lunch. Luke wouldn’t be done with school for another couple of hours, and the Senate was more Padmé and Dormé’s realm. She could use the time to pack for the trip to Kashyyyk. 

She found Barriss meditating in the living room of the apartment. Where Ahsoka tended to prefer wearing jumpsuits when she was working or, if she was working on official business of the Naboo Senatorial office, something similarly functional with a bit more professionalism, Barriss preferred a slightly more elegant look, just as she had as Jedi. Today, she was wearing a flowy black skirt and a nice but comfortable looking blue blouse. 

“How did it go?” she asked, eyes still closed in meditation.

“Well,” Ahsoka said as she pulled off her shoes and made her way over to the sofa behind her, “he tried to talk me out of it,” she said, leaning back against the sofa, “but he relented eventually.”

“His fear controls him,” Barriss said after a moment, opening her eyes and relaxing her posture slightly, turning to face Ahsoka. 

“It does not!” she disagreed, although sometimes she thought otherwise. “Luke’s his son, it’s natural for him to worry. And hey, he changed his mind, didn’t he? He’s always given me room to train Luke as I see fit.”

Barriss nodded her head, conceding the point. “Fair enough. He’s still not good at controlling his emotions,” she continued before Ahsoka could come to Anakin’s defense again. 

Ahsoka sighed. Since being released from prison, and even before, Barriss had believed that her fall had been due to her emotions- fear, anger, hate. So, now she strove to rid herself of those emotions, to feel peace. 

Ahsoka didn’t disagree that Barriss’s actions against the Jedi had been motivated by those emotions, but she thought that maybe there was more to it than that. 

Luke, for all that he was a child, did not seem to struggle with the same parts of his training than she, and most young Jedi, had. Peace came easily to him. Maybe it was his personality, but that’s not all it was. He was a very sweet, gentle child, but he was still impatient, reckless. Ahsoka privately thought that his peace came from the fact that he didn’t have to struggle with his emotions. He just- felt. 

Maybe that was making it too easy for him, and it would backfire later, but for now, Ahsoka was content to continue down their current path. Sometimes the easy path was easy because it was a shortcut, a dangerous way to get to one’s goal, but sometimes the easy path was easy simply because it means you’re doing it right.

So, she taught Luke to not try and separate himself from his emotions, but to be in harmony with them, and she was trying to teach herself the same thing. 

But Barriss disagreed. 

“Maybe trying to control our emotions at all is what is dangerous,” Ahsoka suggested hesitantly, leaning forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. 

Barriss shook her head, her intense blue eyes pointed at the ground. “If we don’t control our emotions, then they will control us.” She reached up to fiddle with the ends of her dark hair that she kept shoulder length, longer than when they’d been Padawans. She was beautiful, as she always had been. She looked up; her eyes held Ahsoka’s gaze. “Emotions like that are like an ocean. Fear, anger, and hatred-”

“And love,” Ahsoka added.

Barriss nodded, face still passive. “And love. They’ll toss you around, try to drown you, sweep you off the shore. You have to build a wall, to protect yourself from it.”

“The ocean doesn’t try to do anything. It just is,” Ahsoka countered. “If you learn to swim, or have a boat, then you’re safe.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

Ahsoka huffed and leaned back against the sofa. She knew what Barriss was saying. That the ocean- emotions- would always be dangerous. Even if you could swim, or be safely in a boat, there were always dangers lurking beneath the surface. Not to mention the storms. 

--

Leia sat in one of the Temple’s small meditation rooms alone. Normally she meditated with her clan, but right now, she just needed time alone. 

She took in a deep breath, holding it in for a moment, and exhaling slowly. She repeated the exercise a few times until she felt centered. 

She’d had a dream last night. It hadn’t been a normal dream, like her reoccurring dream about falling into one of the fountains in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, or even a nightmare. 

In the dream, she’d seen faces, people. A woman she could barely make out, with curly brown hair and a kind smile. A man with curly dark blond hair. A few others, another woman, more distant with darker hair, and a humanoid alien of some kind that was too blurry to recognize. And a child. 

She couldn’t tell if she was the child, or if she was watching the child. She saw them all against the background of a green meadow. It felt slow, idyllic, peaceful. 

Leia tried to focus, tried to see their faces clearly, but she couldn’t. 

The dream, it was beautiful, but sad. 

It was her family, she knew. She wondered if the dream was sad because it made her sad, or if the memory itself was sad. It felt like a beautiful memory. 

Leia did another round of breathing exercises and tried to push past the memory. She focused on the emotions the dream stirred up in her: sadness, confusion, wanting.

She repeated the Jedi Code silently in her mind as she breathed, releasing her emotions into the Force. 

There is no emotion, there is peace. 

Her sadness was only disturbing the peace within her; she had to let it go.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

She pushed away her confusion, focusing on what she knew. The dream was of her family, but they were not important. She was a Jedi, the Jedi were her family. 

There is no passion, there is only serenity.

Love, Leia knew, was passion. Family, attachments, these things broke the serenity of a Jedi’s mind. She didn’t want them.

There is no chaos, there is only harmony.

Her mind must be calm, pushing away the emotions. She must be at one with all around her.

 There is no death, there is only the Force. 

The Force contained all things, and when something died, it was absorbed into the Force. Her time with her family was dead. It had lived when the Force had needed it to, but that time had passed, and all was as the Force willed it.

With one last deep breath, Leia slowly got up from her meditation pose and found herself heading not towards where she knew her clan’s history lesson was supposed to start, but towards the part of the Temple where most of the Knight’s quarters were. 

She walked purposefully, but not too quickly, trying to pretend like she belonged here during a part of the day when most initiates were in classes, until she reached Jedi Skywalker’s door. She hesitated only briefly before knocking.

She felt him reach out to see who was at his door. Hi, she projected.

After a moment, he opened the door, a confused smile on his face. “Leia, it’s good to see you,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be in classes?”

She looked him in the eye. “I’m skipping,” she told him matter-of-factly.

He gave her a surprised grin. “Well, then, come on in,” he said, motioning her into his quarters. 

Leia had first been in Jedi Skywalker’s quarters about three years ago. She’d been sad, she remembered, because she’d worried that moving into her clan bunks meant that he wouldn’t be able to do her hair any more. He’d shown her where his room was, and had told her to stop by anytime she wanted her hair done. 

His quarters were small, plain grey walls just like in her clan’s bunk. There were blinds half closed over the windows, a sofa, and a tiny kitchenette in one corner, and a door to his bedroom in the other.

“So,” he said, closing the door after her and sitting cross-legged on the sofa, “Do you want to tell me why you’re skipping your classes?”

She sat down on the floor across from him, adopting the same posture and gave him a look. “I wanted to talk to you, obviously.” 

He chuckled. “Of course. And what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Leia glanced down at her hands in her lap. “Do you ever have sad dreams?” she asked him, not sure whether to directly ask him about her family. 

“Sad dreams?” he asked, considering. “Not nightmares?”

She shook her head. 

“Yes, I guess I have.” 

“What do they mean?” she asked. “Are they visions?”

He sighed. “Well, I imagine that that depends on the dream.” He smiled sadly. “Sometimes the Force gives us dreams that mean something, but sometimes, a dream is just a dream. Maybe it’s a reflection of our day, or a memory, or something you want.”

“My dream was about my family, I think,” she admitted. “I could barely make them out. But in the dream, I wanted to be with them. Is it bad?” she asked, quietly.

A shadow crossed over his face. “No, it’s not bad.”

“It’s not?” she asked hopefully.

“No.” His expression was as serious as she’d ever seen it. “Leia, you can’t control what you dream.”

“But what if my dreams are a reflection, like you said? A reflection of what I want? Master Yoda says that Jedi should not want attachments.”

He huffed. “We all have attachments, even Master Yoda.”

Leia looked at him skeptically. She found that hard to believe. “Really?”

“Yes, really!” he said, his serious expression breaking into a slight grin. “Attachment isn’t something we can simply not have. Jedi are taught to have compassion, after all, which is a form of unconditional love. That compassion is bound to lead us towards attachments.”

Leia crossed her arms. “I don’t think that’s what that means,” she disagreed. 

He laughed slightly. “Maybe not,” he muttered. “It doesn’t matter what it’s supposed to mean,” he said, more clearly. “You don’t have to agree with me, or Master Yoda, or Master Seminaria. As you get older, you’ll have to make up your own mind. There is more than one right way to be a Jedi, Leia.”

She nodded in understanding, feeling a bit better about her dream. She still wasn’t sure if she agreed completely, but he was right that she didn’t control her dreams. It didn’t make her a bad Jedi.

He stood up with a brief smile, offering a hand to help her up. “C’mon, I’ll walk you back to your class. I have my own class that is starting soon, actually.”

“A lightsaber class?” Leia asked.

“Not quite,” he said as he led them out of his quarters. “Philosophy, actually.”

“I didn’t know you taught Jedi theology,” she remarked. She was kind of surprised that they let him. Everyone knew that Jedi Skywalker wasn’t a typical Jedi.

He chuckled, seeming to sense her reaction. “It doesn’t really seem like my thing, does it?”

She shrugged, her cheeks heating up. 

“Well, you’re right; it isn’t. But I’ve been talked into it. This is only my second class; Obi-wan is letting me cover for him while he is off-planet.” 

“Master Kenobi is letting you?” she asked, disbelieving that Jedi Skywalker would want to teach that kind of class

He hesitated for a moment, before replying. “Yes. I was talked into it by my former padawan.” 

“She’s alive?” Leia blurted without thinking.

Jedi Skywalker glanced down at her and gave a wry chuckle. “Is that a rumor? No, she’s not dead. She just left. She’s still on Coruscant, even; she works for the Naboo senatorial office.”

“Oh,” Leia said. That must be why he knows so much about Naboo. She wanted to ask why his padawan had left, but wasn’t really sure how, so instead she just followed him silently. Ezra had told them that his padawan had been kicked out, but Jedi Skywalker had just said ‘left’. 

“You’re thinking very loudly,” he commented after about a minute of walking in silence. He stopped walking, turning to look at her. “You have questions,” he stated, matter of factly. Leia nodded, feeling shy all of the sudden, even though she’d known Jedi Skywalker practically all her life. 

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, looking down at her shoes. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said kindly. “I don’t mind if you ask me your questions. In fact, I’d rather you do that than continue to feed the Temple rumor mill,” he said wryly. 

Leia looked back up at him, nodding. “Okay, so your padawan-”

“Ahsoka,” he interrupted.

“So, Ahsoka,” she corrected herself, “You said she left the Order. Did she leave on her own?”

He sighed, crossing his arms. “She chose to leave, if that’s what you mean. But she wasn’t given much of a choice, if you ask me.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

He glanced down at his chrono. “We’ve got to get moving,” he said. “Ahsoka’s decision-” he sighed. “It was complicated.” He gave her a considering look. “I’ll tell you about it when you’re older.”

Leia huffed. He said she could ask questions, but apparently that really only meant one question. 

--

Padmé smiled as Anakin’s speeder landed on her apartment’s landing pad. She didn’t always wait out for him; sometimes he forgot to let her know he was on his way, and he wasn’t always able to come over at the same time, and sometimes she herself got so caught up in her work, and he’d come into her office in the apartment, gently cajoling her away from her work.

But today she waited for him outside, sighing happily as he swept her into his arms. She wound her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent as she could feel his chest expand and contract with a deep sigh of relief. 

He set her down, his flesh hand coming up to cup her cheek as he bent down to kiss her. She stood on her toes to meet him, one hand coming up to grasp his shoulder, the other winding into the curls at the nape of his neck. 

“I spoke to Leia today,” he told her with a small smile as they separated, and her hands came to rest on his shoulders, while his rested on her waist, thumbs stroking in place.

“You did?” Hearing her daughter’s name brought a smile to her face, even as a jolt of sorrow swept through her. 

He hummed in confirmation. “She dreams of us,” he said, in a voice thick with emotion. “She came to me, to ask if her dreams were bad, if they were against the Code.”

Padmé wondered what Leia saw in her dreams of them. Could she feel the sorrow that had run beneath the surface of that year on Naboo? 

“What did you tell her?” she asked.

“I told her that we can’t control our dreams any more than we can control who we love,” he said, his bright blue eyes meeting hers. 

She smiled sadly. “I’m glad she comes to you for advice. It means she trusts you.”

“She reminds me of you,” he said. “Her big brown eyes, her curiosity, her kindness,” his soft expression changed into a mischievous one as he continued, “her stubbornness.”

Padmé laughed. “Oh, my stubbornness? I think that’s something she got from you,” she insisted. 

“It’s definitely from you,” he disagreed, chuckling. “You should see the expression she makes when she disagrees with me. It’s a look I’m familiar with.”

She gave him a look, and he laughed. “There, that’s the one!” he exclaimed, laughing slightly as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. 

“How’s Luke?” he asked, changing the subject. 

“Well, I haven’t heard from Ahsoka yet, so I assume they’re still in hyperspace,” she told him. They’d left not long after Luke got home from school; Luke had been so excited to go on his first ‘solo’ mission that he’d basically dragged Ahsoka and Barriss out of the door. He’d even packed yesterday without her even having to tell him to.

Anakin looked surprised by this information. “Hyperspace?” he asked.

“To Kashyyyk, remember?” Padmé reminded him. “I thought Ahsoka talked to you about it yesterday.”

His forehead creased. “I guess I didn’t realize that she was planning on leaving so soon.”

“They’ll be fine, Anakin,” she reassured him. “It’s just a simple relief mission. Trust Ahsoka and Barriss to keep him safe.”

“I do trust Ahsoka,” he said slowly, “but are you sure you’re entirely comfortable with letting Barriss spend so much time around Luke?” 

“I’m sure,” she said simply. And she was. Barriss was troubled, she knew, much like someone else she knew, but she regretted what she’d done. And more than anything, she trusted Ahsoka’s judgement. She’d spent a lot of time with Barriss over the years, and if she thought it was safe, then Padmé would agree with her.

When Anakin still looked troubled, Padmé stepped back, towards the apartment, grabbing one of his hands to pull him after her. “Ani,” she said with a slightly exasperated smile, “I know you’re worried, but you’ll have time to worry tomorrow. Right now, we have the whole apartment to ourselves; let’s go inside.” 

He followed her inside, where it was just the two of them; the outside world and all of its troubles melted away.

--

Luke was all but vibrating with excitement as the ramp lowered to reveal the world of Kashyyyk. He glanced up at either side of him, first to Barriss on his left, and then to Ahsoka on his right. Threepio followed behind them, ready to act as translator when Ahsoka couldn’t. She smiled at him, placing a hand on his shoulder. His first mission without his mom; it was a big deal. 

At the end of the ramp waited members of the King’s council, as well as the local Chieftain, and a couple of generals. 

They bowed to the Wookie at the head of the group, and he bowed in return, growling out what Luke assumed to be a greeting. Luke wasn’t as good at languages as Ahsoka and Barriss were. 

“Thank you for welcoming us on behalf of his Majesty. Queen Layarria and Senator Amidala of Naboo send their greetings,” Ahsoka said, before turning to Luke and Barriss. “This is the Senator’s son, Luke Naberrie, and Barriss Offee, my fellow representative from Senator Amidala’s office.”

There were more greetings all around, which Luke watched, half interested. He poked at Barriss’ mind, knowing she couldn’t speak Shyriiwook, and instead of a poke back, like he might get with Ahsoka, she just turned and glanced at him, eyebrow raised. He shot her a grin, and he did finally feel an echo of a laugh through the Force. He knew Barriss liked to act like she was so serious, but she was a pretty nice person. 

“Reach out with the Force, Luke,” she instructed, leaning down slightly to whisper to him. “Try and feel the emotions of those around you. Be aware of your surroundings.” She gave him a small smile. “Maybe then you won’t feel so left out.”

“Yes, Barriss,” Luke said, dutifully. He did as she said, reaching out with his feelings, and to his surprise, rather than just the calm emotions he expected, he felt a jolt of excitement from one of the Wookies in the back.ff

Luke’s eyes widened when said Wookie swept Ahsoka up in a big hug, roaring a particularly enthusiastic greeting. 

“Oh! Chewbacca!” she said with some surprise in her voice. “It’s good to see you, too, old friend.” When he set her down, they talked back and forth for a bit, and Luke found it a bit difficult to only follow half of a conversation, though he could feel that this Chewbacca was happy to see them. 

“They certainly seem very friendly,” Threepio remarked behind them. 

“Of course they are,” Barriss said with her characteristic calmness and aura of all-knowingness that Luke knew drove Ahsoka batty. “The Wookies have long been very supportive members of the Republic. They have always strove to maintain good relations with other planets, even if that desire hasn’t always been reciprocated.”

“Mom said that Wookies are one of the most noble and loyal species that exist in the Republic,” Luke added, proud to show that he was listening when they talked about politics. 

Barriss nodded. “That’s right. That’s why it’s so important to maintain good relations with them. We can’t just neglect them because they’ve always been there; we have to show them we value them.”

“Which is why we’re bringing aid.”

“Exactly.” At this Barriss shot him another little smile, to show that she was proud of him. Luke smiled back, because he knew it was hard for her to show that kind of thing. He’d heard Ahsoka scold her for it more than once. 

Eventually, Ahsoka turned back to them. 

 “Barriss, Luke, this is Chewbacca. We go way back.” Luke smiled up at the tall Wookie. He was so tall; all the Wookies were. Even taller than Jedi Skywalker, who was pretty tall. 

“Chewie, this is Luke. He’s here to learn,” she explained vaguely. “And this is Barriss. We grew up together,” she said, giving Chewie a look. Luke knew this was her way of explaining that Barriss was also a former Jedi, without saying so outright. Being a former Jedi wasn’t bad, Luke knew, but there also weren’t a lot of them, so Barriss and Ahsoka tended not to mention it. Especially because Barriss had done bad things in the past as a Jedi. 

Chewie roared something, motioning them forward. Ahsoka turned back to them to translate. “He says that first we will meet with the King and his council, and then we will be transported to the nearby village that was hit in the recent storm.”

Luke and Barriss followed Ahsoka, Chewie, and the other Wookies through the winding path of stairs and bridges that connected the giant wroshyr trees. It was beautiful, Luke thought, as long as you didn’t look down. 

Barriss must have noticed him looking at the railing uncertainty because she grabbed his hand, shooting him a small smile. “Your mother will have my head if you fall out of one of these trees,” she told him quietly. Luke let her, even though he didn’t really think he needed his hand held now that he was eight. It was a long way down, and his mother would be extremely upset with Barriss and Ahsoka if he got hurt. 

“Are you scared of my mother?” he asked her with a grin. 

“Oh, absolutely,” she said with a solemn nod. “More than any Separatist or battle droid I’ve ever faced.” 

His grin widened, and he held tightly to Barriss’ hand for the rest of the journey to one of the highest platforms in the capital city, where the King met with his council. 

The King was even a bit taller and larger than the rest of the Wookies, dark, near black fur peppered with silver throughout. He sat in an innocuous looking chair at the head of the circular platform, and the three members of the council took their spot in chairs on either side of the King, with the other Wookies who’d accompanied them moving to stand next to those seated. That left just the four of them, Luke, Barriss, Ahsoka, and Threepio, standing facing the Wookies. Even though Luke knew that the Wookies were loyal members of the Republic, there was still something intimidating about the sight. 

Luke remembered what Barriss told him earlier, and he reached out with the Force again. This time, he felt stronger emotions. Fear, worry, permeated the council.

The King began speaking in the growls of Shyriiwook, with Threepio translating.

“His Majesty, King Rrayyywk of Kashyyyk, welcomes the ambassadors from Naboo. He thanks Naboo for their aid, and for allowing his majesty to share his concerns. He says that their representative in the Senate has had a difficult time being heard these days.” That didn’t surprise Luke. While he didn’t sit in on as many Senate sessions as he used to, now that he was in school, he still did occasionally, and not many beings had their voices heard. It was usually just a lot of yelling.

“Your Majesty,” Ahsoka began, “We are happy to carry your concerns back to Senator Amidala, but to be honest, the Senate is very much at a standstill. With Chancellor Mothma and Vice Chancellor Dul being from opposing parties, it is hard to get anything onto the floor these days.”

King Rrayyywk growled mournfully. “His Majesty understands,” Threepio dutifully translated. “It is Vice Chancellor Dul that he is worried about,” and at this, the other Wookies made noises of agreement. “Him, and the other members of the First Order. It is no secret that the First Order has begun implementing anti-alien policies on several planets. Several close enough to make the Wookies nervous. They already have enough problems from Trandosha, without having to worry about Hapes, Valgauth, and Onderon as well.”

Luke sensed surprise from Ahsoka. “Onderon? King Dendup may have been neutral before the Clone Wars, but they’ve-”

King Rrayywk interrupted with a curt growl. “His majesty says that a single victory does not heal all wounds,” translated Threepio. “Onderon may have joined the Republic, but that does not mean it is a planet of one mind. The First Order has a presence there. It may be small, but that may not matter.”

“To be honest, I think you have a right to be worried, Your Majesty,” Barriss said, speaking up. “The First Order is stirring unrest in people’s hearts. Preying on the vulnerable state of the galaxy. I, more than most, know how easy it is to be swayed when you are already conflicted.”

“His Majesty asks what can be done? Is Senator Amidala working to fight the First Order? Are the Jedi?”

Ahsoka shot a quick glance at Barriss that Luke couldn’t decipher. “At the moment, there is nothing to fight. They’re just a political party, but-”

“King Rrayywk reminds you that the Sith were just a religion.”

“That’s not the same,” Ahsoka said quickly, shaking her head. 

Luke shifted uncomfortably as some of the Wookies shook their heads and muttered. He didn’t know much about the First Order, but what he did know, he knew from his mother. It was strange to hear these Wookies, strong, proud, creatures, seem so afraid of anything. 

Ahsoka seemed like she was going to continue, when Barriss stepped in again. “Senator Amidala shares your concerns. She has always fought for the equality of all beings, starting with the Gungans on her home planet, and has always been a voice for equality in the Senate.”

King Rrayywk sighed and growled out a response. “His Majesty thanks the office of Senator Amidala for listening to his concerns, and hopes that Senator Amidala will ally with alien species against the First Order, if the time should come.”

Ahsoka and Barriss bowed their heads in acknowledgement, and Luke did as well. Then, the Chieftain of the city, howled something at them, stepping forward, and directing them back the way they came. “Chieftain Varu asks that you follow him. He will take you to your transport.”

--

Anakin was just finishing a lightsaber class with Mara Jade’s clan Dalgo when Obi-Wan commed him and asked to meet. He knew Obi-Wan had just gotten back from Corellia- he had gone on a diplomatic mission to meet with Prime Minister Snoke- and had been debriefing with the council. He dismissed the younglings and hurried to Obi-Wan’s quarters, as Anakin sensed it was urgent.

Anakin found Obi-Wan seated in meditation on the floor of the very small living space in his quarters. “What’s so important that you comm me while I’m in class?” he demanded as he walked in. He wasn’t actually upset, more worried than anything. Obi-Wan wasn’t one to make a big deal out of nothing.

“Sit down,” he said curtly, turning to look at him, a frown etched onto his face. “I’ve just learned troubling news. It will be common knowledge soon enough.” 

He complied, sitting next to him and assuming a meditation pose. He knew that, while meditation wasn’t his favorite thing, it helped Obi-Wan immensely, and he might as well go along with it.

“I’ve learned that Prime Minister Snoke has the Force. That he uses the dark side.”

Anakin jolted. “What? Another Sith? How can this be?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “He claims not to be a Sith. And in the loosest sense, that seems to be true. It seems that this Snoke was an acolyte, of sorts, of Sidious, back when Sidious was just a Sith apprentice himself. Snoke told me that while Sidious taught him how to use the dark side, he never taught him the ways of the Sith.”

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan incredulously. “He told you this?”

“Oh, yes,” Obi-Wan sighed. “He was quite eager to tell me all about himself. Gleeful, even. He knows that we can’t touch him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he hasn’t done anything illegal!” Obi-Wan exclaimed in frustration. “As far as we can tell, he had no association with the Separatists. He was a private citizen before running for office. His ship building corporation builds private vessels, not warcraft, so he never had contracts with either side. He’s never done anything illegal, hasn’t been implicated in any crimes, doesn’t carry a lightsaber, and ended his association with Sidious before his illegal activity began. He simply hasn’t violated Republic law.” He shook his head, glancing down at the floor. 

Anakin heard the defeat in Obi-Wan’s voice, and felt his own heart begin to race, fear creeping into his veins. “That’s not possible. I restored balance to the Force. It’s-it’s only been eight years.” He shook his head, unsure of what to say. He didn’t know how to put into words the combination of fear and frustration that flooded him. 

Obi-Wan looked up at that, and put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “You did restore balance. You destroyed the Sith. One man with a few years of bare bones instruction into the dark side is not the same thing.”

Anakin shook his head. “I didn’t want my children to have to worry about this like I did. A mysterious dark sider pulling strings in the galaxy.” 

He thought of what Qui-Gon’s ghost had told him all those years ago, on Naboo. He’d never told Obi-Wan about that. He’d never told anyone about that. According to Qui-Gon, he hadn’t restored balance. Not yet. He’d said there was more to do. On Mortis, it had all been very literal, controlling the Brother and the Sister at once, holding them in balance. But in the real world, he didn’t know. 

“Maybe there’s more to bringing balance to the Force than just destroying the Sith,” Anakin mused aloud. 

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. “More? And what might that ‘more’ be?”

Anakin shot him a grin. “I don’t know, Master. I suppose we’ll have to figure that out.”