#i am informed by the blessed infodumping

[atlantis-just-drowned]

Bestie are you okay? You made exactly 44 posts about Genloss Founders Cut in the span of. A day.

[finniestoncrane]

Idk if you would feel like doing this, but can you give your Headcanon for Riddler listening to his S/O Infodump on their special Interest/Hyperfixation. Just something a bit cute I guess ? I love your work 🙏🧡

S/O Special Interest

Riddler Headcanons eep, ok so i don't think the s/o of any riddler would be allowed to infodump because let's be honest, there's not enough time for eddie to ramble on AND listen to you talk 💚 (also thank you anon ;-;) request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: i really don't think there's anything, some suggestive comments maybe but there always is with capullo u-u

dano

resting his chinin his hands with his gooey eyes on

he's just smitten by the way you talk, and the things you love

although admittedly, he just likes hearing your voice

he could listen to you insulting him

and he'd still be just as happy to sit there with a silly grin on

unburied

surprisingly, he is an attentive listener

it's fun to learn about new topics

and you always know so much about the things you love

so it's delightful to hear you go on about them

especially when it's a shared interest

arkham

he worked alone, but never in silence

he liked to have the radio on, just a bit of background noise

to stave away the true isolation

now he doesn't have to waste a socket to plug the radio in

because he has you, plus he gets to learn about your fixations!

twojar

i could see him being completely attentive in his own way

like yeah, he's got work to do, he has to be at his desk

but you can sit on the edge of it and talk his ears off

and he'll ask you questions to show he's still listening

and tell you how much more fun it is to work with you around

gotham

it's a miracle either of you get a word in around each other

you don't mean to interrupt out of rudeness

you both just get so excited by the other's enthusiasm

it's an infodump battle

who can get the most information out the quickest

btaa

aw bless him because he doesn't realise he's doing it

but he's chronically self-involved

"oh that reminds me of when i did this!"

i guess it means he is listening to you though

it's just... maybe you could talk about him instead now?

telltale

i am so sorry but he gives me big "disinterested dad" vibes

he's just repeating "uh huh" over and over again

not really listening to you

he has better things to think about

and he'll be brutally honest in telling you that

young justice

omg he could listen to you talk for hours and hours

everything you say, he's so interested in it

mostly because it's coming out of your pretty mouth

and because you're willing to share with him

so he has all the time in the world to listen to you

capullo

did you know that when you get excited about a topic

your eyes light up and get all shiny

the same way they do when he's inside of you

what!? you've been talking for sooooo long

you could at least do something for him while you ramble on...

[starleska]

OKAY I heard robot suggestions and (un)fortunately for you, Transformers Animated is in fact the show I know like the back of my hand and these next few paragraphs are me showing restraint in talking about it.

I feel like the Constructicons are a good guess (particularly Scrapper), but for my money the robots to beat in like... the vibe I've gathered as Jeremiah anon are Thundercracker and Skywarp. They're clones of Starscream, one of the main villains (who is also Very Good) who each exemplify a trait of his, egomania and cowardice respectively. They only appear in a couple episodes but they're great.

(Did I mention he made the clones himself? He's like that. Genuinely great character.)

My personal favorite is Prowl, like... to the point that I didn't want to bring it up as Jeremiah anon because I was positive anyone who knew me would ID me on that alone. He is The Blorbo for me, the holder #1 spot. (And he's voiced by Jeff Bennett who ALSO voiced that one version of Red Hood I mentioned so maybe I just have a vocal "type".)

I will get back to you if I think of more. If you need a sampler of the human villains, like... almost all of them feature in SUV: Society of Ultimate Villainy, except Prometheus Black AKA Meltdown, but he has like three episodes all his own.

i absolutely fucking love triggering the huge fixation you Transformers fans have, it makes my little autistic heart happy 😂💖 that ask was a few minutes old!!!!! i am blessed on this day to be subjected to the robot infodump 🙏 so in an effort to gain more information about Scrapper i went and watched this video and oh my God. i am in tears. did i just watch two non-sentient construction vehicles become sentient and gain car-chasing libidos? 😂😂😂 while i couldn't tell you anything at this stage, i'm very charmed by Jeff Bennett's voice for Mixmaster - i'm a fan of his work from his Fanboy and Chum Chum days 🙈 you can't be blamed for enjoying that voice;;;; ahhh, i'm drowning in all the lore!! 😭😭 it's super tough to know where to look and what to watch...a few pals have tried to give inroads, but i think this is a franchise you just gotta throw yourself into somewhere and start working your way through the piles of series and comics 😖 it's much the same for trying to find a prospective blorbo...perhaps every single one of you will be wrong, and it'll be some weird-as-shit robot that no one else has given a second look. or is there a stan of every single robot in the franchise out there? 🤭

[inkings-things]

Coming Out, Galeforce Style

Here's one of our first writings with this story, featuring King Samir and Prince Caelus! No trigger-warnings, only vague warning is some second-hand embarrassment and a someone coming out expecting/preparing for a negative reaction. Tooth-rotting family fluff here!

Samir had come to bid his child goodnight, as he always did when he could spare the time. He settled himself at the bedside, a slight smile coming to his face- being able to spend time with his child was a blessing, in his eyes. However, a worry quickly overtook him when the child immediately sat up and made eye contact with him, a fearful look on their face. 

"Dad? Can I tell you something?" Small hands gripped the quilt nervously, baby blue eyes darting between the king and their own knees. Concern washed over Samir and he lifted a large hand to gently cup his child's shoulder, tilting his head and hunching his shoulders to be closer to their level.

 "Of course, daug-" "I'm not your daughter." They blurted, their body tensing and their eyes screwing shut. The child's entire body was stiff, prepared for some horrible consequence, and Samir was swarmed with emotions. Confusion, dread, the fear that he or his wife had done something to make his child so fearful- but most importantly, a burning worry.

First priority- ease that fear. He was slow and gentle as he drew the child to his chest, enveloping them in a tight hug as they trembled, breaths shuddering as they fought tears. A thumb rubbed gently over the child's shoulder, a reminder to breathe deeply and evenly. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Could you explain it to me?" Soft, hushed words murmured gently into messy long hair, each syllable filled to the brim with the endless love and patience of a father. The gentle touch and words brought comfort to the child, and after a few deep breaths, he spoke.

"I'm trans. I'm a boy, not a girl. I hate having a girl voice and girl hair and girl body. I'm a boy, not a girl." He explained nervously, voice trembling, still not making eye contact as his hands fidgetted and tugged at the nightgown he wore. Samir paused to think this over, his calm warmth never faltering. His son- he made sure to correct himself- was distraught over this, and while he himself didn't understand completely, he did his best to make it clear that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of. 

"So, it's like you're a boy stuck in a girl's body? And the feminine aspects hurt?" The question was soft yet genuine, and the boy finally made uncertain eye contact to confirm. A quiet hum escaped the king as he continued gently rubbing his son's arm, turning this information over in search of a solution. "Well," he began after a heartbeat, leaning back slightly to make better eye contact, "what can I do to help, son?"

Surprise immediately flooded the boy's eyes, chased by tears and a sob as his face broke into a wide smile. He threw his arms around the king (earning a quiet 'oof' from the force of it) and buried his face into his father's shoulder, sobbing out a 'thank you'. Samir immediately adjusted his arms around his child, his son, a soft smile coming to his face as he rubbed the boy's back.

 "Of course, son. I love you no matter what, and I am proud to call you my son if that is who you want to be." The king simply held the prince for a long while, rubbing his back and murmuring soft affections to the sound of boy's joyful sobs.

~~~~~

Samir and Caelus sat side by side, leaning into each other in the light of the setting sun. Caelus had been joyously infodumping to his father, and the two had lapsed into comfortable silence to admire the sunset together. It was a peaceful moment, yet a frown tugged at the corners of the King’s smile, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly as his thoughts threatened to ruin the loving moment. This, of course, did not slip by his son’s keen eagle-eyes, and Caelus pulled away slightly to peer up at his father’s face.

“You look like you have something on your mind. Do you need to talk?” Caelus asked softly, patience and love present in each and every word- words Samir himself had spoken to his son time and time again. The larger man hummed quietly, leaning his head back and letting go of his smile in favor of troubled thought. 

“I would like to, yes, but I’m unsure of how to formulate my thoughts into words.” He admitted quietly, shaking his head slightly and letting his eyes fall closed. “It is… something I am unsure of how to ask. Relating to identities and labels.” 

Caelus perked up slightly at this, a twinge of surprise flashing through him (then again, it goes to figure that someone among the elders of the castle wouldn’t be as cishetallo as they thought) at the words. “Well, what aspect of it? Remember, it’s always better to explore and find yourself home than to stay in a home that doesn’t suit you.” 

There was a long pause as Samir thought, formulating his feelings into thoughts and his thoughts into words. Finally, he spoke, lifting his head and meeting his son’s gaze. “I have… come to the realization that much of what others describe in terms of experiencing romantic and, ah… sexual, feelings, are simply… not the same as my own. I love your mother dearly, but it does not… fill my heart with ringing as some describe. It is as if in my soul, where most have a cavern for such feelings, I have something solid.” Shame crept into the king’s voice, his gaze dropping and his shoulders slumping into themselves with the force of it. Caelus was quick to settle a reassuring hand onto his father’s shoulder, the scene feeling oh so familiar, yet he waited for Samir to finish before speaking.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Dad. That’s entirely valid- it sounds like the identities ‘aromantic’ and ‘asexual’. Aromantic means you do not experience romantic attraction in the same way, if at all, and asexual is the same for sexual attraction. They’re both spectrums, with many identities along said spectrum to communicate different extents of attraction. Both together can be abbreviated to ‘aroace’, and there’s a very nice flag for it. There’s nothing wrong with it, I promise.” Samir looks up to once more meet Caelus' gaze, relief washing over him and bringing a small smile to his face.

“Aroace…? That is a nice label.” A thought hit him, sending his smile right back down. “What about your mother? I love her. It’s not the same as some describe, but I love her and I meant my vows fully. How would she react?” The question managed to give Caelus pause, the prince raking his mind for information on such a matter. 

“Well… that can be multiple things. You said you don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction in the usual way, but you still love her in a different way, right?” Samir nodded with a sense of urgency, deeply concerned about the matter. “Well, some people have began using the term ‘queer platonic relationships’ for things like that. You love her in a way different to a friend, or family, but it is not a romantic love. I’ll help you talk to her about it, if you’d like.” He paused for a moment before adding, “and remember, you can change your labels at any time if you realize it doesn’t fit. You never know, you might realize that you just… don’t describe it the same way.” 

The King turned this over in his mind, considering the information he’s been given. Caelus' hand remained on his shoulder, rubbing it soothingly as the prince waited for a response. “I feel that label… suffices, yes. I would compare it to…” A pause as he thought, “...akin to a family love. A deep love, a true love, but not one rooted in or expecting romance. She is my wife, and in turn she is a part of my family, a part of my own self. Does that make any sense?”

“Yeah, I understand! I’m sure she will too- you saw how quickly she picked up and understood Polyamory and such.” Caelus offered reassuringly, giving his father a wide smile. The shame and worry melted off of Samir, and he pulled his son into a tight hug as the sun slipped below the horizon.

“Thank you, Caelus. You are the best son any man could ever ask for.”

[angeltreasure]

Cecilia here, got a bit of a of a funk going on lately. I'm exhausted as of late no matter how I sleep, I've been able to follow my Lent fasting/abstaining but I'm getting irritable, joints and back aching from my job, choir practice didn't go well tonight and someone was making jokes about me singing badly when they were the one talking and thus I couldn't hear my section, weird distractions during Mass the other day where I kept getting intrusive thoughts about if my brother and his gf had a kid I'd adopt it since I'm sure they'd have an abortion otherwise, and my period hasn't come yet (It's late by like half a week) I don't know if Satan's trying to mess with my vocation searching or if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm just not handling this Lent well, but I just feel like I'm in a bit of a haze this whole week. I know I'm making good progress cause I'm doing what I can and praying about it, but at the same time it feels like roadblocks are getting in the way and I'm not sure if it'd be God Satan or just myself. Sorry if I'm rambling or infodumping, it's just been rough as of late. Pray for me please. Hope you're doing well and God Bless.

I know exactly what you mean. When I feel stressed, no matter how much sleep I get I can feel exhausted and painful. Then my insomnia kicks in with racing thoughts and restlessness. Our minds as humans have a tendency to be very vivid especially as problem solvers. It may explain the intrusive thoughts to some degree, but with practice you can immediately switch the thought you don’t want, to something good and true. Satan freely walks this earth as it’s prince and as the former most powerful angel he was very smart so he knows just what little words to say that can upset you and even horrible intrusive thoughts that we would never want to imagine. Some here may disagree with me, but the spiritual battle is real no matter what vocation we are in and that’s a fact. The closer we grow towards God, the more the enemy attacks. We can fight the battle in our mind as well as with prayer and fasting (I always picture the Eucharist Adoration monstrance and host close up). Although it is of course not good to obsess over every intrusive thought, gently observe now and then the content. God can reveal things to us in our thoughts too. He can reveal something that will happen and even let you read the heart of a person. It may be a good to look into pro life resources and how your state or country does for adoption, that way if that scenario does happen, you will at least be bit informed. “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”- my favorite by St. Padre Pio. There will be good days and bad. Take each day as a little baby step. Sometimes the bad days we have are teaching moments we can look back on and improve ourselves from like oh okay I’m not going to do that next time or, I felt better when I did this instead of that. Offer up any worry you have to God as part of your Lenten penance. I will pray for you! No worries this is what I’m here for. Thank you may God bless you as well. Remember thar onI’m going to teach you what my priest said at the last mass.

When you have negative intrusive thoughts about yourself or a situation, pray for example: “In the name of Jesus, I reject the idea that I am not worthy as a singer…” immediately after, pray: “In the name of Jesus, I claim the fact that I am beloved child of God and that my gift from God to sing helps bring people closer to Him.”

[gardenofshadcws]

Voyage of the Nautilus Day 8.1

Everything Through Electricity

Verne loves to flex his science knowledge bless him

I don’t know what anyone’s saying in this chapter but I appreciate the passion and the progressiveness that comes from all of it

“I need to give you some background information” and by that he means a huge infodump and we love that

This doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about electricity to dispute it.

“My electricity isn’t like other electricity, it’s special electricity”. I love you Nemo

You’ve obviously found what all mankind will surely find one day, the true dynamic power of electricity.”. “I’m not so certain they’ll find it,” Captain Nemo replied icily.

There’s that pessimism vs optimism theme again. Even aside from the immense shipping feelings, they’re such perfect narrative foils and it just keeps coming up and Aronnax just keeps trying and Nemo just keeps shutting it down I cry

Nemo basically texts the Nautilus to come pick him up and I am screaming

[juni-ravenhall]

oh ye mighty one, knowledgeable in the arcane ways of human mind...

can you share your opinion on what is the most annoying trait of INTP/ISTPs (i honest to god have no idea which one fits me better)? perhaps something on how to "overcome" it or make it less annoying, if possible?

thank you! (if you don't feel like answering, that's perfectly okay and understandable)

dude u have no idea how excited i am u ask me mbti shit. aideen bless ur week ;_;

u know ur dominant Ti if u are stuck between those two. do u like motorcycles? do u care about tinkering w mechanical things? do u like physical construction stuff more than reading wikipedia articles? then prob istp. if u prefer to read 200 pages about some biology topic, then prob intp. stereotypes yeah, not 100% certain, but ones based on many irl ppl ive known. intp tend to be more quiet and indoorsy while istp more assertive and outdoorsy. istp use Se-Ni while intp use Ne-Si so also, if ur really into physical stimulation (driving fast, working out, drinking, partying) more likely istp, if youre more into being inside ur brain thinking of nifty concepts and connecting theoretical dots, more likely intp.

as far as most annoying trait goes. both these types can get stuck in the same place unable to progress where they want to go, or just to become a more mature/healthy person even, bc of the Ti (for intp also the Si).

Ti is kinda like a library that u fill out with information (says i as a non-Ti user), u have lots of bookshelves and filing cabinets full of cool shit, but the problem is, sometimes the info you filed might not have been fully correct, or maybe it changed over time. so among all those books and files there might be some stuff thats holding u back or causing u to not see things in a realistic way in the present time, bc an old mindset is stuck. could be things like "you have to do x thing a certain way" (u dont!) or "x thing is difficult and i cant do it" (u can!) or "usually people do x thing x way and being different is not ok" (its ok!) or many other things.

can get stuck in mindsets and habits that aren't helping instead of habits that do help. and habits can be important for Ti and Si ppl, so having repetitive habits might not be bad at all, but make sure they're taking you where u want to be. if not, try new habits even if it might be uncomfortable for a bit - if its too uncomfortable mb its not the right habit for u tho. (esp important for ND ppl who might have even more specific needs regarding habits)

i think the typical toxic trait of ixtp is mansplaining tbh (but like.. genderneutral). that can make others feel like "dont you think i know anything? do you think im stupid?" even tho its often not intended that way. the toxic version of this is mostly bc the Ti library is indeed full of cool shit and ixtp can sometimes, if toxic, forget that other ppl *also* have brains full of cool shit and theirs is not the only cool one or necessarily the one with the most correct info. (but pls dont get anxiety that ur toxic about this bc ur probably not.)

the not-toxic but "annoying to normies" version of this for the intp is more like, infodumping, talking a lot about their interests and new cool things they learnt, and normies might be like "thats so boring i dont care about this" (unfair, get real friends who do care). for istp it might be more like "i know everything about how this machine works and what all the parts are called", which can come across as being cocky or like you think u know more than everyone else who are into the same thing. (being confident is good obvs, so as long as u dont put others down its not bad.)

i think overall the generic advice from me would just be to watch out for getting stuck in repetitive mindsets/habits that don't help you enjoy life, and watch out for thinking your knowledge is wider/better than others (i mean - maybe it *is*, maybe not, but the issue is putting down the knowledge of others more than anything).

if you've been thru a rough time in life, you might on the other hand *lack* confidence in ur Ti library... so then u should fill it up with more cool shit and kick out the bad shit, start fresh to some degree. and just make sure to make friends who appreciate ur library of cool shit and ur skills. don't force urself to put up with ppl who don't support your interests or who dont think ur talents are meaningful.

also summary: marie-kondo out your brain sometimes and check if a mindset / habit / assumption / etc is sparking joy or not.

[snarktheater]

Ready Player Two — Chapter 30 & "Continue?"

We open the final chapter of the book with an act of nepotism, where Wade revives his friends' avatars, as well as the Low Five, but not all the other people whose avatars got zeroed out by Anorak's acolytes.

“The next time Lo and her friends logged back in, they would discover that their slain avatars had been restored to life, along with their inventories. They would also find their inboxes filled with offers to buy the film rights to their story. By the end of the week, there would be several Quest for the Dorkslayer movie and TV projects in development.”

There's just something scrumptious about assuring us that they'll be able to profit off of this as a reward for helping Wade. This book may have tried to awkwardly fit in a power of friendship angle, but it strikes me as though that friendship is extremely mercenary.

Samantha catches up with him at the Shrine of Leucosia, and they bring the shards together to reform the Siren's Soul, which then quickly turns into Leucosia herself. Also, the narration shifts between calling her Leucosia and Kira, and I guess we're just gonna have to accept that and move on.

“I know you both must have a lot of questions for me,” Kira said. “But first, I need to ask one of my own. Where is my husband? Is he still alive?”

So Wade and Samantha recount everything that happened, assuring her that Ogden died to save millions of lives. Lives that apparently weren't in danger at all—they just confirmed that to us in the last chapter. Leucosia takes it well, because no one in this book is allowed to grieve.

“Thank you, dear,” she said, turning her face away to hide the anguish on it. “I am proud of him. And I always will be. He was my Og.”

Well, really, he was Kira's Og, but I'm starting to realize the book has already made up its mind about the question of whether or not Leucosia and Kira are the same person and landed on a resounding yes.

Leucosia then…starts infodumping us about how Halliday made these user brain scans to create Anorak and then herself. None of this is new information, so I'm not really sure why this is here. In your final chapter. Your conclusion. That sure is a choice.

“I was actually the world’s first stable artificial intelligence. And I guess I still am.”

Yeah, apparently the only reason Anorak got corrupted is that Halliday tried to tamper with his memories, and otherwise he would have been stable? I have some serious doubts about that, given all we know about the man.

She keeps going through all the things Anorak already told us, and finally concludes that while Halliday using the ONI to relive Kira's memories was the "ultimate invasion of privacy" (her words), ultimately it was also what allowed him to understand her and see her as a person. So in the final chapter, I think the book is trying to find a silver lining to Halliday's creepy behavior. Which, again. Sure is a choice. And more than a little telling.

“Then he was horrified by what he’d done. He saw himself as a monster. He apologized to me. He also offered to try to make it up to me.”

Well, no, first he offered to destroy his technology to ensure no more of these AIs would be created. But of course, the book has already decided the technology was good, so instead, she told him to share it with the world, and Halliday's the one who argued the world wasn't ready for it.

You know, I'm starting to get the impression Halliday just wanted to make toys for himself.

And so, after that, Halliday made it up to Leucosia by…locking her up and broke the prison into seven shards? Yeah, that's roughly it. She insists it was his idea, though she gave her blessing for the inclusion of the flashbacks that Wade got. And it doesn't seem like it bothered her at all to be locked away for short of a decade.

So yeah, Leucosia gives Wade the "Rod of Resurrection", which allows him to make copies of anyone. Even though she just said the point was to release the gift to the world, arguing that thanks to the ONI, people realized that, and I quote, "the mind and body are separate". But then only one guy gets the ability. Leucosia also tells him not to worry about potentially creating more rogue AIs, because Anorak was "corrupted" and the tech is totally safe, now.

What happened to not trusting AIs? I didn't like that part of the book, but is it too much to ask for some ideological consistency in your science fiction?

“James told me he wanted to make sure of this, so he built safeguards into the software to ensure it. Only a user’s most recent unaltered UBS file can be used. When you give it a try, you’ll see what I mean….”

UBS stands for User Brain Scan. It was mentioned in the prologue, and I don't think I mentioned it at the time, but yeah, the ONI has been recording and storing those without users' knowledge all along for this exact purpose. Like, the copies are essentially already made; all Wade has to do is bring them to life.

This includes the logs of any deceased user of the ONI, by the way. Wade sees it as a blessing, the ability to bring back the dead, even though they have no way of consenting to that. Actually, no one has been able to consent to this yet. Didn't we just talk about how Halliday doing it to Kira was a bad thing?

Oh, but it means that, since Ogden used an ONI headset in his last battle, he can be brought back. You know, despite never wanting to interact with Leucosia, I'm sure he'd totally approve of this. Yeah. Makes perfect sense.

I could clone the living or raise the dead, with the press of a button.

Ignoring for a second that this isn't actually raising the dead…you'd think this wouldn't be something you'd save for the end of your book. A book whose exploration of the topic has been extremely sparse, and mostly consisted of saying "don't" over and over.

My mind reeled at the implications. Were people going to suffer an identity crisis if they were suddenly forced to share the OASIS with an immortal backup copy of themselves? One that didn’t need to eat, sleep, work, or pay rent anywhere?

Gee, that sounds like an interesting quandary that a better science fiction book would have explored, rather than wasting most of its page count on pop culture trivia. Though the "pay rent" part is funny to me, because from everything we know about the OASIS, there would absolutely be someone who would eventually force these AIs to pay rent. And that someone has a high likelihood of being Wade himself.

But no, while Wade "reels at the implications", he immediately decides that this is effectively immortality made accessible to everyone, and goes on to immediately resurrect Ogden. Well, Og, since that's his avatar's name.

Og…doesn't seem to have any thoughts about any of this beyond "holy shit, my wife is here, gotta kiss her right this second". See? He's fine with it! The book said so! It goes contrary to everything we know about him, and lack of consent would still not be justified because the person is fine with the result, but it's fine! Don't worry about it!

“This thing can bring back anyone who ever used an ONI headset,” I told her. “Even if they’re not alive anymore.” […] “You can bring back a copy of any past ONI user?” she repeated.

Yes, that's right: remember how Samantha was still grieving her dead grandmother? Well Wade brings her back too! It's a digital necromancy party, baby! Moral quandaries averted!

Witnessing these two impossible, blissful reunions filled me with joy too. Genuine, unbridled joy. And I wasn’t playing back an ONI recording of secondhand joy experienced by someone else, somewhere else, at some time in the past. It was my own, hard-won and earned at great personal cost.

This is such a weird statement I have to include it here. I don't have any comments here. I just wanted you to know this is how Wade talks about feeling emotions. But yeah, sure, the ONI is an unabashed good.

He also angsts about how his parents and all the people who died before the ONI would still remain dead, but since he will live forever, their memories will live on as well.

We were witnessing the dawn of the posthuman era. The Singularity by way of simulacra and simulation. One final gift to human civilization from the troubled-but-brilliant mind of James Donovan Halliday. He had delivered all of us unto this digital paradise, but his own tragic flaws had prevented him from passing through its gates himself.

And there it is. Our thesis statement—or as close as the book's gonna come to. Okay, it's time for the transhumanism talk, part two.

Here's the thing: the idea of transhumanism, of humanity transcending their physical form, is one that I personally find very appealing. I'm not going to say I'm an expert on the subject, or one of the top thinkers. However, there are a few ways this "posthuman" version that the book proposes falls short, and they all come down to one big flaw. Ironically, that flaw happens to also be something that, of all books, Ready Player One exposed succinctly.

“I need to tell you one last thing before I go. Something I didn’t figure out for myself until it was already too late. […] I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. […] Right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it’s also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real. Do you understand?”

Look, just because the previous book didn't earn that quote in its own narrative doesn't mean I can't use it now.

But yes, the point is this: reality…exists. I know, I know, you can dig up schools of philosophy that will argue otherwise, and then you have the jerkoffs who will say "but what if this is also a simulation?" But it strikes me as though the simulation folks can be split into two categories: those that just want to impress their audience by how mind-blowingly advanced their opinions are, and those that want to use this as an excuse to do nothing about the state of the world. You know, kind of like a certain Wade Watts here.

Unfortunately, the burden of proof is on you, and until you can prove that this world is not significantly more real than a simulation running on computers in this world, I'm not buying it. I mean, if the OASIS servers (or the Arcadia servers, because I'm sure we're headed in that direction) get smashed, shut down, hit by an EMP, or any other kind of damage, your immortality ends. Right there. Clearly, one reality is at least quantifiably realer than the other.

There's another problem, of course. I've been harping on this since the concept was first introduced, but this…isn't immortality. What's amazing about transhumanism to me is the idea of transcending the limitations of the human bodies, but here you are, claiming you're bringing people back from the dead, when in fact, Kira and Ogden Morrow and Evelyn Cook are in fact still dead. You just made a copy. So you really didn't transcend that limit known as "death". And since they live in a simulation, they in fact have a lot more limitations, as exemplified by Anorak needing a goon to do his dirty work.

But really, I want to harp on this transfer of consciousness aspect, and circle back to doing nothing to help the world. Because…that's where this is going, isn't it? Wade will grant immortality to humanity after they die as a way to justify doing nothing to improve their physical condition here and now. Why fix climate change? We can just bring everyone into Arcadia, fire off the Vonnegut's engines and fly off into space!

If this sounds eerily like how Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos talk about space colonization, that's because it's the exact same thing, with the added twist that Wade isn't even bringing actual colonists with him, except for frozen fetuses and maybe a dozen people. He's bringing the dead with him.

It's fitting, really, that the book would describe Halliday as a sinner bringing the rest of humanity to paradise. A quasi-messianic figure, come to Earth to die for our sins and deliver us unto Judgment Day, that we may be freed from this world and ascend to a better one. I don't know for a fact that Cline is one of those Christian branches that not only believe in the Apocalypse, but believe it's coming soon—actually I kinda got the impression he was an atheist? But regardless of his actual personal spirital beliefs, this is very much an example of how Christian theology permeates society not just as a matter of fact, but as a deliberate justification for wealthy people to do nothing to materially improve the living conditions of the rest of the world. Because the true salvation comes after death, didn't you know?

A propos of nothing, here's a video about Christian nationalism in the United States

So yeah, this is the failure of this book's philosophy. Not that there's something inherently bad about transhumanism, or about shedding your human form. It's that it's taking that concept, and using it as a justification to detach from the real world, and in particular from helping other people. When in fact, being able to occupy a form that's more durable and more suited to experience and help the world is exactly what would make transhumanism, you know, good. And also why it probably would never happen in reality.

For fuck's sake, "a character makes a database of all the dead across humanity so they can be brought back as AIs and maybe, like, occupy robots in the real world someday" is the plot of a Doctor Who episode. Literally, it's the series 8 finale of the reboot, Death In Heaven. And guess what: it was the villain's plan! Because it's a villainous thing to do? But here it's presented as salvation?

Holy fuck, the book isn't even over yet. Shoto and Aech join the party with their wives, who I just realized haven't even been characters in the book. They still aren't, by the way—they're mentioned but don't actually say or do anything in the scene.

No, instead the High Five—Og included—decide to have a meeting to decide what to do about these digitized humans. Apparently they all agree these are the real person, brought back from the dead, but decide that humanity at large isn't ready to accept it. You know, the thing Halliday did. Halliday, the guy we spent the entire guy deconstructing? We're just going to repeat his actions at the end.

Oh, but it gets worse.

Eventually, if humanity survived long enough, the world might acclimate to this new paradigm. […] Og and Kira didn’t want to wait around and find out. Neither did Ev3lyn or Samantha. And I wasn’t willing to risk it either. […] Luckily, I already had a fully formed plan—a way for the AIs to coexist with us in peace and safety, forever. […] And I knew it was a good plan, because Anorak had apparently thought so too. But unlike him, we actually managed to pull it off.

That's right. Did you really think that "let's all turn into AIs" was the final stage of abandoning humanity to its own doom? Did you forget about the part where Wade still has a fully-operational spaceship?

And this is where we get to "Continue?", which serves as the book's epilogue. This shifts us to what looks at first like third person narration but isn't. More on that in a moment.

Og, Kira, and Ev3lyn all disappeared from the old, overcrowded simulation and reappeared inside the brand-new (and completely empty) one that had been prepared aboard the ship.

I find it interesting that the book can't make up its mind about whether to refer to digitized humans as their human name or avatar name. I find it more interesting that, now that another simulation exists, the formerly idyllic OASIS is already referred to as old and overcrowded. It's almost like this isn't about finding paradise, but simply about refusing to do shit to fix problems and instead continuously finding new means of escape.

You know, escapism. The thing the book supposedly decried? Now taken to literal extremes, and as the heroic choice.

Wade no longer wanted to leave Earth. Now that he and Samantha were back together, they never wanted to be apart again. Surviving their experience with Anorak also taught them that they never wanted to risk losing each other again. They vowed to remain together forever. And then they figured out a way to do just that. Since they didn’t want to send Og, Kira, and Ev3lyn off into space on their own, Wade and Samantha decided to send along copies of themselves, too, to keep them company.

You do realize that just because your copies are together forever in space, you'll still die at some point, right? And now since your copies are based on your current selves, they won't even have your future memories?

But mostly, I just don't really get when Samantha decided to forgive Wade. But yeah, she did, and not only that, she relented and used the ONI, since that's necessary to make that copy. That's right: our one voice of ideological dissent in the book, and she just decides to change her mind at the end.

The rest of the High Five also sent out copies of themselves and their wives into Arcadia. It is explicitly said to us that Wade convinced them, which I'm noting because this is what follows:

And since there was still plenty of digital storage space left aboard the Vonnegut’s computer, Wade went ahead and uploaded the entire ONI consciousness database to the ARC@DIA. Billions of digitized human souls, which were to be kept stored in suspended animation for safekeeping. Copies of L0hengrin and the other members of the L0w Five were among them.

You know. Billions of people who never got to consent to this.

Wade made one more backup scan of his own consciousness, too, right before we left, to make sure that I would remember everything that happened to him, right up until the time of our departure. And I do. Right up until that final scan, our memories were identical.

That's right: this supposed third person narration was a twist. The narrator is actually Parzival, and he's on board the Vonnegut, seeking an inhabitable planet for a bunch of frozen fetuses, all the while hanging out in Arcadia. If this is humanity's future, we are fucking doomed.

Parzival goes on to tell us what life is like, by which I mean it sounds like it's still the same, but without the physical limitations that prevented them from using the OASIS and/or the ONI-net full time.

And we’ll have one another….

Oh, yeah, be sure to tack on some lip service about human contact too.

Also, Wade did finally address the consent issue with making digital copies of people, but like…the file already exists, so I'd argue the breach of ethics has already been made, even if you don't activate it into a full digitized person. But it doesn't matter, because Wade's conclusion is to leave it up to Parzival's discretion, since he's the one who is an actual digitized person.

Except…Wade consented to becoming a digitized person when he made Parzival. So clearly his opinion is going to be biased. Shouldn't you be giving that responsibility to the ones who didn't get to choose, namely Leucosia, Og and Evelyn?

Not only are we going to live forever, we’re going to get to see some of the universe too. And since our crew is no longer organic, we didn’t have to bring along food or air, or worry about radiation shielding or micrometeors. As long as the ship’s computer or its backups survive, so will we.

What about the fetuses on board? …They're probably already dead, aren't they. I'd be surprised if they were ever viable with how shitty this whole operation was.

Parzival also updates us on the state of their human counterparts, because they're still in touch. Aech and Endira got married, Shoto had his baby Daito after all, and all the digitized crew are the baby's godparents, however that works. And yes, Wade and Samantha got married too.

Their first dance as husband and wife was an elaborate Bollywood number that they performed together. Aech and her wife, Endira, were the Best Man and the Matron of Honor, and they both joined in. The video they sent us, of the four of them dancing together in perfect synchrony, is my absolute favorite. I rewatch it every day.

You know what, sure. Why not throw that in. Bollywood dance lessons were mentioned once in the book, as one of Wade's interests, not Samantha's. So of course this is where you wrap up their relationship. It's almost like Samantha has no say in any of it.

And yeah, Samantha totally changed her mind about ONI, but Wade finally started to acknowledge its flaws and has decided to never use the ONI again. Though of course, Samantha gets a whole speech about being wrong, while Wade won't even tell us what he thinks those flaws even are. Telling to the end.

Parzival then moves on to tell us about the state of the Earth. Which is to say: nothing has changed. Arguably, things got worse.

Only a few dozen people died as a result of Anorak’s actions, nearly all of them when he crashed Samantha’s jet. The handful of others were killed by other people—murderous criminals who preyed on helpless ONI users while they were being held hostage by Anorak’s infirmware. But there wasn’t a single death caused by Synaptic Overload Syndrome. The ONI headsets hadn’t actually harmed anyone.

Yes, that's right: the ONI didn't kill people, people (including one digitized person) killed people. That's the argument we're going to leave this on.

So that's where we end the book. Earth's still fucked, but hey, we have a backup humanity now, out there in space on several redundant hard drives so it'll probably last forever. Ethical problem solved! Let's keep playing video games.

I grew up playing videogames. Now I live my whole life inside of one. That’s why I feel qualified to say that Kira Underwood was right, when she said that life was like an extremely difficult, horribly unbalanced videogame. But sometimes the game can have a surprise ending…. And sometimes, when you think you’ve finally reached the end of the game, suddenly you find yourself standing at the start of a whole new level. A level that you’ve never seen before. And the only thing you can do is keep right on playing. Because the game that is your life still isn’t over yet. And there’s no telling how far you might be able to get, what you might discover, or who you might meet when you get there.

And we get this ending narration, which is somehow even more half-assed and unrelated to anything the book actually said up to this point than the first book's ending.

Closing remarks? I'm somewhat (and somehow) disappointed that Lohengrin turned out to be such a non-entity. Like, there would probably be many bigger problems had she become an actual love interest to Wade as I first thought. Because instead, we got a character be introduced just to reassure us that yes, Wade thinks trans women are attractive now, which is honestly pretty awful too. And then her role in the story could essentially be fulfilled by any of Wade's friends with little gained or lost. What an insulting waste of a character.

And then, because I hate myself, I skimmed the acknowledgments. Turns out, Ernest Cline mentions receiving feedback from a ton of people, including Steven Spielberg and George R. R. Martin, and I'm now certain we're not living in a meritocracy.

I honestly have no words. Well, no words left. I've been bitching for almost 58 thousand words. If you still need my conclusion after all this, I've only got one thing to say to you:

I had a horrible time, thanks for asking.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 11

Day 11 - Pick your favorite Soulmate AU and write about it, it can be from this list or something completely different.  

(Balloon AU: you have a spirit-like balloon with the name of your soulmate written on it that only you can see. It will often drift towards your soulmate’s when they’re close by.)

Pairing(s): Romantic Logicality, Romantic Remile

TWs: Character Death (it’s loosely based on Disney’s UP, so y’all know whats going on), implied homophobia for a small section, unspecified heart condition mention

Author’s note: please forgive any inaccuracies in time periods and such, I did my best ;w; 

Also don’t let the tags throw you off, this story’s bittersweet but it’s really lovely, thank you if you do indeed keep reading, ily <3

–

They met when they were just children back in March of 1950. 

Logan Crofter had just come from the theatre after having seen the newest Walt Disney movie, Cinderella, when he overheard a commotion coming from the children’s park on his way home. He was always a cautious young lad but as he caught sight of his balloon begin to sway that way, Logan wasted no time in hurrying towards the sound of children arguing.

“Boys don’t wear dresses, stupid!!!”

“But it’s really pretty!!”

Logan arrived in time to see an older boy shove another boy about his age into a puddle, soaking the light blue dress he was wearing over a light t-shirt and dungarees. Upon realising the dress was likely ruined, the boy began crying. Logan wasted no time in getting between the two of them,

“Leave him alone, or I’ll inform the proper authorities!”

“.... You’ll what?”, the taller boy asked dumbfoundedly.

“It means I’ll tell your mom!!”

He was bluffing of course, Logan had no idea who the boy was, but the threat was enough to send him running. With a sigh of relief, he turned his attention to the boy in the puddle. Instead of crying anymore, he was gazing up at Logan in excited adoration,

“Wow!! You saved me!! Just like Prince Charming saved Cinderella!!!”

The boy wiped his face of tears and stood up to grasp Logan’s hands, “Thank you, thank you, thank youuuu!!”

Embarrassed by the overly sweet gesture, Logan cleared his throat, “You’re far too kind, I simply cannot tolerate bullying, I’m certainly no Prince Charming.”, he tried to assure the boy, “Truly, it was no trouble. Are you going to be alright, um-?”

“Patton!”, the boy, Patton, beamed.

A gasp left Logan, the name wasn’t that common, so perhaps….  “Patton Hart?”

The boy nodded, surprised, “That’s me-”, then realised, “A-Are you Logan Crofter!?”

Logan’s smile must’ve said it all as Patton threw his arms around him, “I can’t believe it! My soulmate saved me! I really am like Cinderella!”

“You are pretty like Cinderella as well.”, Logan offered shyly, shuffling his feet awkwardly. Patton giggled and took his hands. 

“Come on! I wanna introduce you to mama!! She’ll like you lots!!”

Patton was right, Logan adored Mrs Hart from the moment they were introduced. He loved the whole family with every member he was introduced to; it wasn’t hard to see where Patton got his shining personality from, happiness and warmth radiated from every one of them. Logan remembered the way Patton had introduced him to his parents and that summer he’d done the same for all his grandparents, his ‘tios and tias’ as he referred to them, and his many cousins who welcomed Logan with open arms.

He was grateful for such a loving family especially when his own disowned him. Logan had known from the day he finally brought Patton home to meet his parents - six years after they’d first met - that they would never accept his soulmate. Despite the majority of the world’s population accepting that the soulmate bond was a fixed infallible system, the Crofters had their minds made up that their son’s soulmate would be someone worthy of their expectations. Someone stoic and serious, not bubbly and energetic. Someone who was all work and no play, not someone who wanted to have fun and just enjoy life. Someone who was female, not another male. Logan hadn’t anticipated that extra twist of the knife but all the same, he wouldn’t trade Patton for anyone else.

It was hard being fourteen and having to turn his back on the family home he’d grown up in, but as Patton’s family helped him move his things into the room they’d painstakingly cleared out for him, Logan figured that feeling would soon pass.

--

Throughout high school, the two grew even more inseparable; Logan helped tutor Patton in math and science while Patton helped Logan with art and music. Logan joined Patton’s cooking club to support his cause while Patton would always attend Logan’s debates, captivated by his drive and dedication.

Another routine they’d started over the years was attending the latest screenings of each new Disney movie. In truth, Logan had lost his taste for “childish exploits” around the age of ten, but he would never admit out loud that seeing the way Patton would smile during their theatre dates made his heart race faster than any other sight on the entire planet. That was why for their 27th anniversary, Logan proposed to Patton during the double bill screening of The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh. He burned the moment Patton threw his arms around him in sheer glee into his brain forever. He would carry the joy of hearing his soulmate - no, his husband-to-be - cry out that wonderful “yes!” with him for eternity.

Sending out the invitations had been a nerve wracking affair for Logan, but Patton had assured him that everything would be okay in the end as he sent out his half of the invitations. He knew his parents wouldn’t show so he didn’t bother to invite them, but he wasn’t sure if his grandparents or distant aunts and uncles would. Aside from them, he’d never met much of his own family, most of them residing outside of the states. 

In the end, only his paternal grandparents and mother’s brother agreed to attend. Logan didn’t mind, he was just glad to have someone. Thankfully, his side of the church wouldn’t be too empty for the friends he made in his highschool years were more than happy to fill the pews.

Logan Crofter-Hart married his husband Patton Hart in the spring of 1981 after four years of planning and saving for their first home together. Logan’s endless studying and training to become a lecturer combined with Patton’s enthusiasm and drive to make money working at Foster’s Family Diner had all led up to this moment. As Logan placed the ring on Patton’s finger and promised to love and honour him - in sickness and in health, til death did they part - he couldn’t help but think himself the luckiest man alive. After the ceremony, his uncle and paternal grandparents had congratulated him, with the former asking what their next step would be.

Logan wasn’t sure about the far future, but at the time while he watched the love of his life dance and gesture for Logan to join him, all he could think to answer was “Simple, our Traditional Disney Movie Date.”, as he got up to indulge Patton’s request.

Said movie was The Fox And The Hound, and Patton, bless him, had cried for most of it. Logan draped his arm around his husband’s shoulders and softly wiped his tears with his other hand. While the scene where Todd’s owner sadly releases him into the wild played, Patton snuggled closer to Logan for comfort. Logan would deny that he teared up at that part too, though the memory of Patton humming the tune of Goodbye May Seem Forever would always stick with him even on his saddest days...

--

“Logan?”, Patton softly piped up as they lay in bed watching TV together one night.

Logan turned to face his husband, “Yes, starlight?”

“What do you think about...”, he hesitated, but continued at Logan’s nod of encouragement, “...us adopting?” 

The idea had indeed occurred to Logan. They’d been married only a year but he knew his husband would make a wonderful father. 

“.... Do you think I’d be ready, Patton?”, Logan offered unsurely. Patton softly removed his head from Logan’s shoulder and sat in his lap to properly apply one soothing hug directly to his darling husband.

“Only you’ll know for sure, but I think you’ll be an amazing father, Logie Bear.”

A soft kiss from his husband destroyed any doubt Logan had harboured. “Just imagine it, getting to watch our son or daughter grow up and get married someday! Ooh, or maybe they’ll become an astronaut! The second person to go into space!”

Logan chuckled, knowing Patton was playing on his fondness for space travel, “Perhaps, however, they would in fact be the fifth person to go into space-”

With a fond sigh, Patton brought Logan into a gentle kiss, one that Logan had no intentions of breaking to keep infodumping. He wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist, pulling him closer as if no amount of closeness would ever be enough. Another memory that would burn itself into his brain forever. Patton pulled back to his Logan with those puppy dog eyes that resulted in him getting what he wanted at least 80% of the time.

“So, does this mean you want to give adopting a try, Logie Bear?”

Feigning annoyance with a smiling eye roll and a forced huff of air, Logan replied, “Yeah. I guess-”

He spent the rest of the night returning Patton’s delighted kisses and listening to him ramble adorably about all the wonderful memories they’d make as a family.

--

The rejection hit the Hart couple hard; Patton even more so than Logan. 

Yes, he was just as crushed by the news, but Patton was distraught. 

They’d done all they could to be sure the adoption would be a success. Logan had been hired as part of the local university’s astrophysics division which did bring in enough money to allow the couple to renovate Logan’s old office room into a bedroom for their potential child. The day had been filled with laughter and, with some coercion from Patton, dancing along to the radio in between paint drying times. They’d been sure to go through all the steps, make sure their house was child friendly, even going as far as to secure references from friends and family in case they were needed.

Alas, some bad luck out of nowhere had been the first blow to the couple. After hanging on for a good decade or so, Foster’s Family Diner was bought over by a larger franchise and thus, Patton had been laid off with little warning to cut down the number of employees. The only comfort he found at the time was from his fellow staff who were devastated to see him go. The full weight of the situation really hit home when they realised it’d put enough of a dent in their income to make things a little less comfy for a while.

The second blow was the twins. Two young boys Patton had grown attached to during an Adoption Activity Day he and Logan had attended. Logan knew while he watched both boys painting his husband’s face with vastly different degrees of success, that they’d be the children Patton wanted to adopt. The boys seemed to love them too, going by their reluctance to let either of them leave at the end of the event. But the blow to their finances and the lack of a large enough room for twins had been a cause for concern with the agency, and try as the Harts might, they just weren’t able to get the room up to code in time.

Both boys were adopted that same week, and Patton further spiralled even further. Logan tried his best to try and cheer him up, but nothing seemed to work. As a last ditch attempt, Logan even requested to be able to be put in contact with the twins’ adoptive parents to ask for a visit but he was told, as anticipated, that the agency couldn’t allow it.

Logan refused to give up though. Using his university’s connections, he was able to find Patton a prospective new job; one of the researchers in the history department had a brother who worked for the local zoo. She assured Logan that with her brother’s approval, Patton would more than likely be offered the job opening they had going.

It wasn’t much, not really, but when he brought Patton to the zoo to surprise him with the offer of running the park’s souvenir shop, his husband’s glowing smile stole Logan’s breath away. For the first time in months, he heard Patton laugh with delight as he accepted the job.

--

With both of them working again, Logan put all of his effort into a new goal; helping Patton feel ready to adopt once more. It would be a slow venture; they cut out anything that wasn’t necessary and swapped the pricier items for store brands. The 80s rolled into the 90s and it felt like for a while the world would doom them to a life of endless saving, even having to eventually forgo their sacred cinema dates in favour of waiting for video and later DVD releases. 

But they were happy. 

Happy to have each other, and happily thinking of the day when they could try adopting again.

As the years went on, however, Logan began to worry. With he and his husband approaching their fifties, Patton’s hopes of adopting a young child to raise dwindled, knowing that they often gave other couples older children to look after. He knew Patton wanted to see them attend their first day of school, to teach them to ride a bike, to spend as much time as possible with them.

So Logan made a bold suggestion to Patton that night that they try again. 

Patton was quiet for a while causing Logan to fear it was still too soon, but his husband agreed that it had been long enough. They once more gave adoption a try.

--

The second time proved to be a charm and the Harts welcomed their son - six year old Emile - into the family in 1993.

He was an eccentric, curious young lad with a love of cartoons and biology; a perfect combination for the happy parents. Not that it would have mattered in the long run, they’d have loved their son no matter what.

Logan looked to the man asleep on his shoulder and their son who had also tuckered himself out watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with them. With a fond smile, Logan rested his head against the back of the sofa, catching sight of his soul balloon. It’d been years since he’d really paid much attention to it, but the name Patton Hart still glistened in wonderous golden letters set against the baby blue of the balloon. He glanced over to Patton, seeing that same cute sleepy face he always made. Logan wondered how, whenever he believed he had hit the maximum, he ended up falling more and more in love with Patton. 

The stronger the feeling grew, the more Logan felt like he could conquer anything, and he would do so in a heartbeat for his husband, and now his son too.. 

--

Love alone, however, couldn’t conquer all things. 

During Emile’s 14th birthday party, Patton collapsed. It was sudden and terrifying, but thankfully Logan was able to keep him out of harm's way until the paramedics arrived. Luckily, they were able to treat Patton at home, coming to the conclusion that heat exhaustion had been the culprit when they were informed that Patton had given himself little time to rest coupled with the unusually hot day.

Logan still wanted Patton to see a doctor as soon as possible, but Patton sweetly but stubbornly insisted he was fine. He didn’t want to cause more of a scene during Emile’s big day. Reluctantly, Logan let him make the final call, relief setting in as Patton went about the rest of the day as his usual cheerful self. Logan made sure to stay by his husband just in case, but the day passed without another hitch.

That couldn’t be said for the second time.

The call came for Logan during one of his lectures; Patton had been catching up with an old coworker from his diner days who’d come to the zoo with their granddaughter when he’d just crumpled to the floor without warning. Logan wasn’t sure what exactly happened, but the next thing he knew, he was parking his car outside the hospital and desperately asking the staff where his husband was being treated.

Fortunately, once again, Patton was more or less alright. When Logan saw him sitting upright in his hospital bed chattering away to a young girl in a hospital gown, he knew for sure his husband was alright. At least for now.

“Will you ever stop giving me a heart attack?”, Logan had sighed with fond exhaustion as he sat next to Patton with his hard carding through his soft umber hair. Patton chuckled and played with the blue tie Logan was so fond of, “Not if it means you’ll keep coming to my rescue like Prince Charming.”. 

Logan let out a huff of laughter, fondly recalling their first meeting. It felt like yesterday still…

“Does that mean you’re still my Cinderella?”

Patton tapped a finger to his chin and finally answered with a smile, “Maybe not. Glass slippers and fairy godmothers or not, I’d never leave your side for anything, Logie Bear.”

Logan wished Patton could have kept that promise.

--

The following years passed with a couple of stumbles along the way in regards to Patton’s health and still the doctor’s weren’t sure what caused his episodes. Logan was naturally worried; he and Patton were in their sixties, he knew that even though Patton kept bouncing back that one day statistically he wouldn’t be able to. That one day Patton would…

Logan didn’t allow himself to think about it. Instead he sat with his husband, enjoying the movie they’d put on; Disney’s UP. His attention wasn’t so much on the movie as it was on Patton. Every time he looked at his husband, Logan didn’t see the silver roots, eye wrinkles, and laughter lines; he saw the boy he’d moved in with at 14, the beautiful young man he went on regular cinema dates with like clockwork, the man whose excited tearful “yes!” still echoed in his brain no matter how many years had passed. 1979 felt both so long ago, yet like it was just yesterday. And now they were doing just what Logan had hoped; growing old together while their son was out in the world working as a therapist alongside his own husband. 

Logan had been skeptical of Remy the first time Emile had introduced them to his parents, but in spite of their sharp tongue and sassy attitude, Logan had easily grown fond of the person who would later become his child-in-law. Logan wasn’t sure if that was the term, but he did his best to keep up. He remembered the day Emile had come home from high school, excitedly babbling about his soulmate. Patton had been on cloud nine the whole time, and while Logan was just as delighted for their son, he was too wrapped up in admiring the happiness that radiated from his husband.

Goodness, when had Logan gotten this sentimental? He asked, knowing full well he’d always been that way when it came to Pat. He decided to tune back in to the movie only to realise he’d been lost in his memories for nearly the entire run time.

On screen, Carl Fredricksen had just discovered the rest of his late wife’s additions to her adventure book. The more stoic Logan of the past would never have been swayed by such a heart-string tugging moment, but well. The years had softened that stony exterior. At least, that's what he told himself while he felt tears roll down his cheeks silently. Patton’s gentle thumb wiping away his tears, drew his attention, noting that his husband was also tearing up. But my god, that smile. Logan could’ve stared at that sunshine grin til the end of time itself. Seizing the moment, Logan gently leant in to give Patton a kiss, which his husband returned in kind.

At that moment, Logan had an idea. It took a lot of string pulling to make it happen, granted, but he refused to allow anything to get in the way of his plans. 

January of 2010 saw Patton’s 66th’s birthday roll in, and Logan first surprised his husband by driving their old car, a blue 1955 Ford Thunderbird, into the driveway. It wasn’t in the greatest condition, having been kept in their garage for years, but Logan had secretly washed and maintained it leading up to today. It still had their cassette tape in the player; the Beach Boys’ Wouldn’t It Be Nice played just as it had back in the day.

The car was only one of the surprises Logan had in store; he’d found an old diner that, while it wasn’t much like Foster’s, was dedicated to capturing the 1980s vibe they were both familiar with. After a couple of milkshakes and Patton’s insistence that they dance together when the jukebox would play their favourite tunes, Logan parked outside of a familiar sight.

Their old theatre and origin of Patton’s nickname, The Starlight; it’d been renamed of course, but thankfully the former owner’s daughter remembered the couple from back in her father’s day, and so Logan had asked if the old sign could be replaced just this once. She’d done one better, adding a lovely “Happy Birthday Patton!” banner underneath. Logan wasn’t sure if hugs could be fatal, but the one Patton sent his way nearly crushed him with the weight of it’s love.

Once inside the foyer, Logan directed Patton to their private screening of Cinderella. He had wanted the same movie he’d proposed to Patton with initially, but alas, the owner couldn’t track it down in time, thus they went with the movie that had led Logan to his soulmate in the first place. The Harts sat in a comfortable silence throughout the film; they didn’t need to say anything, their intertwined hands and soft sighs of adoration were enough. When the movie ended, they began to drive home until Patton spoke up, “Logan, look!”, he gestured out the window towards a familiar sight; the park where they’d met.

The old equipment had been removed and changed  somewhat over the years, but the familiar landmarks were all still there. Logan didn’t need to be asked the question as he parked nearby and walked with his beloved towards the spot where they’d met. The small indent in the ground where the same puddle he’d helped Patton out of was still there in all it’s sentimental glory. Logan raised an eyebrow as Patton sat at the edge of the former puddle until he realised what he was up to,

“Oh no! I’ve fallen! And I can’t get up! Oh where is my Prince Charming who shall come to save me?!”

Logan had to stifle his laughter with his hand for a second before offering it to Patton, rolling his eyes fondly as he stated, “I’m here, I’m here, don’t worry, fair Cinderella.”

He helped Patton to his feet, stumbling a little but thankfully he caught his husband in his waiting arms. With a smile that shone like the gold of his soul balloon’s cursive, Patton met Logan’s eyes, whispering a soft, loving, “I love you, Logan.”

Logan gently brushed a strand of Patton’s hair away from his soulmate’s eyes, “I love you too, Patton.”

The two began to walk back to the car, hand in hand, while Patton explained to Logan where he’d gotten the blue dress he’d met him in when Patton stopped. 

“Patton? Is everything alright-?”

Patton’s breathing hastened, and before he could try and say he was okay, he curled in on himself, grasping his chest. Terrified for his husband, Logan called 911, doing his best to get Patton to the car to drive him to A&E.

--

Nothing was alright.

Logan stayed by Patton’s side in hospital when the doctors delivered the bad news. 

Heart failure. 

The doctor was apologetic the whole time - “I’m so sorry” “If only we’d caught it sooner” “Too late for a transplant” “Surgery would only prolong the inevitable” - but Logan couldn’t bear to hear it. The love of his life lay dying in a cold, sterile room when he should be at home; dancing around their living room, baking with him in their kitchen, laying next to him in bed as they held hands and regaled each other with happy memories and countless “I love you”s. 

The decision wasn’t difficult, not for Logan anyway. The doctors offered to let Logan take him home so he could pass in the comfort of his own home, and while Emile had tried to convince his parents to try for more time in hospital, his fathers both refused. Patton was stubborn when he wanted to be, and Logan even more so. They’d wasted three days with Logan having to stay in hospital with Patton, he wasn’t about to jeopardise any more time. 

Emile and Remy came to visit each day once Patton came home. Neither one would comment on just how tired he looked, but Logan could see the concern in their faces. They both knew as well as Logan that any day could be Patton’s last. Every time they left, both would hold Patton tightly, making sure to always leave with an “I love you, dad”, no matter how late it made them for an appointment or the like.

--

One night, Logan noticed Patton was sitting outside on the porch step in the early morning sunrise, in one hand was a pack of balloons, and in the other, some string and markers.

“What’re you up to, starlight?”, Logan questioned curiously, unable to stop himself smiling as Patton sent him a smile at the old nickname.

“Just wanted to try something, Logie Bear. Here, you can pick out your color.”

Ah. Logan understood, rifling through the pack for the right shade of baby blue to make his soul balloon. He and Patton had of course described their balloons to each other, “Mine’s this lovely dark blue with silver writing! Bold and smart, just like you, Logan!”, Patton had said. He watched Patton try to blow up the balloon, but upon giving himself a coughing fit, Logan went to get the helium pump he’d used for the balloons at Emile’s 14th birthday. 

Once both balloons were safely inflated and tied with some string, the Harts set about writing each other’s name in an imitation of their respective soul balloon. Patton wasn’t sure whether to write Logan’s married name or the one on the balloon, but Logan assured him he didn’t mind. With both balloons finished, the couple tied the ends of their strings together, Patton requesting Logan take some pictures with his phone to show Emile and Remy later. With the request indulged - along with some depicting the couple sat cuddled together with their respective balloons - the two held out the tied end of the balloons and let them go.

Bobbing in the wind, the balloons carried themselves into the sky, twirling in a dance as they soared towards the clouds. The Harts watched until they could no longer see the pair anymore; eventually just sitting side by side on the porch, their fingers locked together and their heads rested against one another. 

The morning was stunning; soft cloudy skies that let the sun peek through while a warm breeze drifted by. 

“Hey, Logie Bear?”, Patton quietly requested. His voice ghostly even in it’s happiness.

“Yes, starlight?”

Logan couldn’t explain how or why he knew that it’d be the last thing he heard Patton say, but he simply held his husband of thirty nine years, his soulmate since birth, even closer as Patton’s last words carved themselves into his memory;

“Thanks for the adventure.”, his stunning eyes met Logan’s one last time, “I love you, Logan.”

“You too, Patton,”, Logan couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks, “I love you too.”

Even as Patton’s grip loosened, as his eyes closed, as his breathing shuddered to a halt, Logan stayed with his husband for hours. He knew he’d soon have to break the news to their son before the poor lad and his husband found them still sitting together like always. But Logan couldn’t bring himself to move an inch. 

“I’d never leave your side for anything, starlight...”

--------

I’m not crying I’m SOBBING

This one has me in tears just rereading it to make last minute corrections, god...

Day 12 will be back to much happier themes, I promise!

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @fandomsofrandom

[jasper-pagan-witch]

Discerning Between Beginner Witch Information & Wiccan Information

Because of the nature of Wicca being a witchcraft-related religion, a lot of beginning books tend to muddle the line between the two – much to the irritation of witches who aren’t Wiccan and just want to learn the basics of witchcraft. Since witch authors who only pump out books for a quick buck don’t care about the separation, I wanted to write an infodump about beginner Wiccan info that worms its way into beginner witchcraft info.

Please know that I am not blaming Wiccans for being Wiccans. I am blaming fake authors for spreading misinformation, muddling lines, and forcing their beliefs onto all witches.

Emphasis on Religion

On Wicca: As a religion, it is inherently religious. Witchcraft is not a religion – you can have a religion and be a witch, you can be atheist and be a witch, you can be religious and not incorporate it into your craft, and so on.

Common Wiccan religious information that gets into witchcraft involves deities – they focus on the God-Goddess duality at the best of times, and in most instances, they only talk about the Triple Goddess or a bunch of pagan goddesses. Some go even further and turn pagan goddesses into Triple Goddesses when they normally aren’t – Hekate on her own and the trio of Athena, Artemis, and Persephone are some specific examples I’ve seen.

The worst examples of this are spells that call for you to invoke specific deities as if they were but ingredients. Please don’t do this. This is dumb. You don’t have to worship deities to work with them (in my opinion), but you have to at least be respectful.

Emphasis on the Threefold Rule

Also known as “karma”, the Wiccan Rede, “an’ it harm none, so mote it be”, and a dozen other names, this rule basically boils down to “don’t curse people because then it’ll come back at you even worse”. This is a Wiccan thing, it does not apply to witches as a whole.

Let’s stop and talk about “black magic” and “white magic”, which are catch-all terms coined to mean “curses” and “healing/love spells” to bring it down to a super basic level. This concept is rooted in racism because of the assumption (especially in Hollywood’s depiction of magic, but that’s a whole rant of its own) that all African religions/beliefs/magic are about harming others. Add in some fearmongering, and you’ve got a tasty racist term that people still use today.

Some sources for further reading if this particular part interests you: http://www.flyingthehedge.com/2020/06/decolonizing-witchcraft.html https://www.patheos.com/blogs/starandsnake/2018/05/is-the-term-black-magic-racist/

Blessed Be & So Mote It Be

This is a personal nitpick – blessed be is from the Gardnerian Tradition’s Fivefolk Kiss, which is a fertility ritual. So having people use this as a sign-off is pretty uncomfortable to see in every other book for asexual witches, witches who don’t like being blessed without their express permission, witches who don’t want kids, and so on and so on. Here’s a source for this one, because it’s interesting to look into: https://www.reddit.com/r/Wicca/comments/2p5byv/educational_understanding_the_phrase_blessed_be/

Similarly as a personal nitpick, “so mote it be” is a Wiccan thing to close out a spell. It came from Aleister Crowley (who is Major Yikes) and is basically “I used magic, so this is going to come true” in fancy old Saxon words. There’s a lot more to it, so if you’re interested, here’s a source to get started with your research: https://www.learnreligions.com/so-mote-it-be-2561921

Protective Measures

There are many ways to protect yourself in witchcraft, and you should have several layers – wards, sigils, prayer, active spells, and so on and so forth. Wiccan books tend to focus on casting circles before rituals or spells, which can be really time-consuming if you’re just trying to pop a quick energy spell (and might sap your only energy you were saving for said energy spell). Casting circles is actually a good protective measure, but it’s not the only one and has its time and place. On the note of rituals...let’s talk about those and spells.

Rituals Versus Spells

Spells and rituals, while similar, are not the same. Some witchcraft books, however, label them incorrectly or use them interchangeably. This isn’t specifically a Wicca-related problem, but I don’t get to bitch about this anywhere else.

Rituals are meant to be high-energy, with specific steps to follow and specific tools to use. Often it includes more than one person and invoking specific deities (which I have Opinions about, but that was covered earlier).

Spells, meanwhile, can just be you crouching on the kitchen counter watching herbs burn in the sink with one hand on the fire extinguisher’s pin and the other on your phone’s dialpad.

Focus on Duality

As I mentioned above, Wicca places a lot of importance on a God-Goddess duality (despite most people promptly ignoring this, but I digress). This duality also extends to male-female, light-dark, good-evil, et cetera et cetera. Witchcraft does not require duality.

Book of Shadows, Grimoire, & Spellbook

So functionally these are all similar, but there are technicalities involved.

Books of Shadows are Wiccan tools that are used for storing information, personal witch stuff, and spells. Despite this, witches of any sort use them.

Grimoires are like encyclopedias for witchcraft and are used by all kinds of witches. Spells optional.

Spellbooks are self-explanatory and used by all kinds of witches.

Wheel of the Year

So I’ve seen many posts, books, and articles claim that the Wheel of the Year is an all-encompassing witchcraft holiday series. In reality, this is a Wiccan thing that has caught on with a lot of witches who want to celebrate holidays they don’t normally celebrate.

Outro

In short, uhhhh use your critical thinking skills on witchcraft beginner information if it seems like the author just googled “wicca witchcraft pagan” and copied what they found.

[viostormcaller]

Hey, can you update me on the Jse lore? Since you were talking about the story of it I assume lots of revealing stuff has happened, because for me I remember the theories were all over the floor and nothing actually made any sense...

Of course I can! A great place to go to is also @isas-theory-wall since Isa has a LOT more information than I can wrack up in my sleepy brain, but I am more than happy to provide the basics!

So, for starters, there are 6 Egos Total. These Egos are Antisepticeye, the opposite of Jacksepticeye and the main villain of this story; Jackieboy Man, a superhero who wears a blue mask and red hooded full-body jumpsuit; Marvin the Magnificent, a magician who dons a cat mask; Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein, a doctor who has saved both Jack and Chase from dying; Jameson Jackson, a silent film actor from before our time who also happens to be mute; and Chase Brody, our protagonist, who is also a single father of two kids and suffers from depression and alcoholism.

So, with the character introductions out of the way, let's get on with the basics of the lore, shall we?

For starters, our primary character of interest (but not the protagonist) is Jack, aka Jacksepticeye. While we have no idea his relation to the other Egos, he is very close with both Henrik and Chase. The three of them have a close friendship with each other.

Antisepticeye, our main villain, is out for the other Egos (and us) and poses a constant threat. He's already attempted to kill Jack twice, both in Say Goodbye and Kill Jacksepticeye, two videos that are currently up on the channel. On his second attempt, he successfully put Jack in a coma, and he's been that way for two years now as of August 3rd, the date KJSE dropped back in 2017.

Henrik, of course, was trying to save Jack from Anti's takeover by trying to medically treat him. He failed, sadly, and was kidnapped for nine months before we saw him again.

During KJSE, we learned that Chase Brody was alive and went to see his family. Now, let me backtrack a bit. Each Ego has their debut videos (which is how we determine the Egos' birthdays, and yesterday was Marvin's). Chase's video is called Bro Average (or, at least it WAS, but I believe the title has changed since then). In any case, we learn that Chase not only is struggling to upkeep his channel, and not only this is struggling with relationship troubles with his wife at the time, named Stacy. Stacy eventually divorces Chase and takes the kids, and Chase attempts suicide by a gunshot to the head.

Back to KJSE, Henrik let us know that Chase was still alive. After his kidnapping, it was later (later as in, a year later) revealed that it has been Chase running Jack's channel in his absence. In addition, before Henrik made his brief return, there was a "doctor" (whose true identity is unknown) that went by the name Dr. Jacksepticeye, and was acting as an impostor in Henrik's stead before he was stopped. We currently don't know where Henrik is now, however.

In the video called Tie - A Game About Depression, this is where we learn that Chase has been upkeeping the channel since Jack fell into a coma, and it's ALSO where we learn about Jack's coma in the first place. We also learn about Chase's issue with alcoholism, and that he has two kids that he gets to see on weekends and that he's trying to get Stacy back.

Now, back to Mayhem. A main, very decisive series as well that you should look at is called Stories Untold. We hear Chase during this, telling Jack that "he needs to wake up", no doubt from his coma. At the very end of Mayhem in a video called Dark Silence, which I believe is the second-to-last video we saw during that time period, Anti directly, physically attacks someone. We didn't know who, and we all assumed it could have been Jack in a nightmare until not Seán, but Robin, Seán's editor, pointed out that it was Chase (bless him for that, because that was VERY decisive evidence and we would have never known had he not said anything) and not Jack in Dark Silence. Since then we don't know his canonical wellbeing or if he's actually okay.

We don't know much about the other Egos, besides the little bits of lore dropped during the Ego Art Weeks, charity streams, and from the tiny glimpses we've seen them in during Mayhem in 2018. We know, however, that both Marvin and Jameson were trying to get in contact with Jack through his coma. Besides that, however, the rest is all just theories and speculation, as we haven't canonically seen them since their debut videos. There have been major videos

The main story's direction now, knowing that Chase is the protagonist, is based on how all the Egos tie into this story, what their goals are, and what Anti's motive is. I'm certain we will find this all out in time, but for now, them's the basics!

I love infodumping, so thank you so much for allowing me that chance. I hope I was helpful!

If I got the order of things wrong concerning Mayhem, anyone, feel free to reblog this post with corrections and also, feel free to add onto this! I don't have ALL the information (partly because I just woke up), but I'm positive more community members will have bits of info that I didn't touch upon.

[urihu]

I actually really don’t have time to make this post, so you will have to forgive lack of screenshots and humorous gifs but

Shen Wei is not dead Part 2 How he did it

(part 1 is here)

In the last part of the fight the weapon Yunlan uses to attack Ye Zun is the Whats-it Awl which has as many different names as there are subbers

I could not remember where and how I last saw it used, rewatching is a huuuge time sink, so this post might never have happened if I hadn’t again run across the post that sucked me into the drama in the first place,

you see @lazulisong wrote a character sheet of sort before giving us the link to the playlist and there I read WITH MY OWN EYES

Last but not least are Wang Zheng and San Zan, who are actually “energy beings” (ghosts) created by the Holy Awl

i AM SORRY HOLY AWL DOES WHAT?

so, yeah, i rewatched, what are real life obligations anyway

Ep 10, Black Robed Envoy infodump:

Mountain-river awl is not Longevity dial. It has no ability to save anyone. The biggest feature it has is stripping the energy body forcibly from the flesh to form a permanent solidification.But the one just stripped may not even be able to achieve the most basic form of solidification.

Ep 11, Black Cloak Oppa and reunification of star crossed lovers

San Zan in ghost form energy being form fights the purple haired idiot loser B rate villain i hate him and loses his form while fighting

Shen Wei gets the Awl from the pillar

Wang Zheng begs him to use the Awl to 'make vanished force whole again' for San Zan (btw music that plays in that part is the chipper 'we are happily traveling through time together' tune) AND CUT! WE NEVER SEE IT USED!

Next time the drama returns to this part of the cast, San Zan is already corporeal body of energy that cannot tolerate light.

Ep 11, technodump

The Longevity dial links genes together to link information together, the Awl makes the human body into quantum (or atoms) to make the essence live forever

Ep12, zhao yunlan grabs the Awl as it falls, has visions

ep?? (sorry, I forgot to write it down) Zhu Hong and little Guo are visiting her folks, and she asks about the Awl, her uncle says that yes, he knows things about it, BUT THIS IS WHERE HE DRUGS HER

we NEVER hear about its powers again, we NEVER see it used again

They fucking tease us by dangling relevant info in front of us and not showing it.

So basically, what we know this baby does is strip the energy of a person or return the energy that was gone. For a normal human the effect is basically immortality unless hit by sunlight.

For a semi-immortal self-healing shapeshifter who is already connected to the device, successfully used it to give form to somebody, foresaw that moment? We don’t know! They would not tell us! But I bet sky is the limit.

Another interesting detail is that we are shown that Zhao Yunlan has visions* when he touches the awl. Twice, just in case we miss it. But Shen Wei used it and we don’t see that moment at all, so we don’t know what the experience was like. This is deliberate.

*blessed be youtube for I could watch this at 0.25 speed

So, what did Shen Wei see? We don’t know.

What is the full scope of its power? No idea.

How would a person whose super power is LEARNING handle this device? AHAHAHA we don’t know.

My theory is that Shen Wei used the awl to release all the energy and purify his brother. But that they are both at least as physically there as Wang Zheng and San Zan. And functionally immortal.

Well, they might need to posses a doll to go outside during the day - but maybe not because of the whole teleporting shapeshifter whose talent is learning thing.

Btw. this whole plot with the Awl happens in the mountains. In Wang Zheng’s HOME, which she explains in the series. Our ying&yang twins just happen to come from a mountain, and are going home.

So, like, he can wait for another 10k years for his love to get out of that lamp. He is now immortal. And used to waiting.

But I bet it is not an accident that Yunlan’s body is still fresh and being used. Kept warm so to speak. You know, in case they figure something out.

I mean, like Zhu Hong would let some ass posses the body of the man she loves? Nope, she would exorcise him into the next sunday. But for some reason that body hopper is allowed to stay.

It is so CRINGEWORTHY, why put it in the ending if you don’t have to? It’s so disrespectful to the story’s hero, like, what the hell?! 

Okay, so maybe writers are arseholes, but maybe it implies that they will meet again during one human lifetime?

[horce-divorce]

I'm just so glad I got back into tumblr. All the nerds are here. I firmly believe that reasons everyone hates it so much, including the people who still use it, has less to do with the overall experience and more with a few bad ones... And like in IRL when we fuck something up once or twice we get real self deprecating about it, ie it went from being like home to being "this hell site" in the span of time it took Dashcon to occur.

(Sarah Z's YT vid goes over this really well, and tbf i take issue to her claim that her channel "isn't a tumblr history channel" bc I think we could learn some valuable stuff from actually discussing What The Fuck Happened Here. IE I will fight everyone making her feel bad for making tumblr history channels a thing because don't fucking lie, you'd watch the hell out of that, ESPECIALLY those of you who came from Reddit to make fun of us and stayed. I know you're fucking there!!)

Anyway, all unrestrained enthusiasm is for tumblr. That's what it was always for. Infodumping in long formats, fandoms we couldn't express love for IRL or risk being slam dunked into the fucking trash by our bullies, every type of media, the way posts become collaborative and take on entirely new contexts and meanings when others add to them... (even if it's just a joke post, the memes we got from these collabs were another fucking level of humor you had to be there for)

All this meant it became the gay autistic social media site and THAT'S why everyone picks on us.

Did tumblr also initiate a lot of utterly unhinged, ridiculous scenarios? YES. Is there and has there always been lots of loud infighting? YES!! Were half the functions broken from day 1? You know it!!!! And none of that is exclusive to tumblr- what's exclusive to tumblr is the specific brand of off the wall, obscure but deeply connected information that all comes together in the most unhinged POSSIBLE way, and the only reason it IS possible is because of tumblr's culture of Being Yourself Unrestrainedly!!!

Would the Supernatural finale have been funny AT ALL TO YOU if you had actually watched it? It doesn't seem like it was. 10years of queerbaiting, in reality, is devastating. But I've never seen Supernatural, I've merely spent the last 10 years filling in plotholes with nothing but context cues from tumblr (which is a lot funnier than the real plot fwiw), and when Destiel Day happened I was blessed enough to be here *chef's kiss.* But for real, Destiel wouldnt have been funny AT ALL if you hadnt been subjected day in and day out to useless Supernatural posts you didn't ask for in the first place. It was funny because we went along on that ride for the sake of our tumblr friends who dragged us, and we never could have known how we'd be rewarded for our reluctant participation.

Not that I/we generally are MAD about seeing that stuff. We joke about it and "fuck you for making me look at this," but at the end of the day, we reblogged that "fuck you." We understand that the content that comes up on our dash is not picked for us solely by an algorithm, but by the real people we chose to follow, who have their own very complex internal lives and who chose that content for themselves.

for most of us, our main blogs have become this very interesting collage of Ourselves Through Time. So our friends and mutuals posts are OF COURSE going to be bizarre and at times, unrelated to anything we thought we were looking at. THAT IS WHY TUMBLR DRAMA IS SO GOOD. because with other sites drama you only get some of the picture, but us??? We are fucking autistic and WE KNOW EVERY SINGLE DETAIL THAT LED TO THAT EVENT AND WE WILL FUCKING TELL YOU. Could the Onceler and Oncest fandom have happened anywhere else, anywhere on Earth at any other time in human history???? NO. no it could not.

Anyway. My point is not that tumblr is perfect or anything remotely to that effect, I've met and lived with my fair share of awful queer autistic people from tumblr. What I AM saying is That's Just Social Media. You can't fucking be yourself on Twitter or Reddit or Facebook, you have to have side accounts and fake names and I'm not even talking about hiding your fetishes or whatever, I'm talking about saying "I'm depressed!" I'm talking about how lgbtqia2s infighting has gotten SO VICIOUS on twitter you can't even fucking call yourself queer or a dyke or be a lesbian with he/him pronouns in your bio without some kids screaming at you to delete yourself from queer history or They Won't Sit With You. That absolutely also has always happened on tumblr, it just isn't even remotely exclusive to tumblr culture, not like how people will ACT as if it is.

the real reasons tumblr users always get flack for being here is BECAUSE we are unapologetically ourselves. because we get excited. because we infodump (tumblr brand Callout Posts are often infodumps which is what makes them notable), we unapologetically want every single detail that can't even begin to be included in places like Twitter and Facebook, where posts are character limited and ephemeral and impossible to find later, where 1,000 people are all chiming in at once to say "I heard such-and-such from someone else's oomf" and it's like ??? y'all lmfao none of that is better or superior to tumblr in any way whatsoever. You know the old adage "don't read the comments"? Twitter took that and said "here, have ONLY THE COMMENTS." And yet, there we are.

I'm sure a lot of people have already pointed this out better than I just did in the time that I was absent (or fuck, even in the early days, I feel like we all just... know this?), but coming back to tumblr after a year+ of Just Twitter And Reddit- and now the stuff Sarah Z gets into as well- makes this so painfully obvious. And I think it's really sad that we just immediately accepted all the criticism and mockery and were like, "yep, tumblr is uniquely bad and awful," when in reality, it's no worse than the others. In fact, tumblr has been uniquely good and informative, especially among folks who quite literally were able to become who they are only because of the affirmations of this community.

I have learned so much about myself as a trans person, about what resources are available to me, about how to defend myself, how to stand up for myself, how to TALK about myself; if it wasnt for tumblr, transmeds would have kept me in the closet, maybe indefinitely. I've learned so much more about my disabilities and other conditions from disabled people on tumblr than I have EVER learned from a doctor. And maybe more importantly, I've made more friends on here than anywhere else online except Neopets. And we laugh. We laugh SO MUCH. For every big, serious, informative post, there's 10x as many shitposts than any other website and its glorious. No other website gives me The Serotonin like my blog does, I mean, thank god at least the tag system works?? I have 10 years of laugh tag to go through now. Incredible. Twitter and FB could never.

Anyway, when you look at the stuff that made tumblr So Loud and Obnoxious, the stuff that made Tumblr into Tumblr, the stuff that was actually drawing ire from altright trolls... at the end of the day, it was because a bunch of women and queer autistics were so happy we just finally found our table, and that we could be mentally ill or whatever in good fucking company. And just like in real life, bullies taking a stab at us for that made us get defensive, and we started talking "hellsite" this and that so we could be the first to insult us, so that when everyone else did, it wouldn't hurt so bad.

tldr fuck you tumblr is fine I'm very happy to be here

[prophetparadox]

Birds of a Feather Chapter 19: There’s A Fault In My Code (A Prompto x OC Soulmate AU)

Chapter 18 <-/AO3/-> Chapter 20

Masterlist

Word count: 3,479

Sorry for the long length of this chapter, but I needed to get the infodump out of the way because it’s important and explains just about everything you need to know about Katia’s past. Also, quick warning! This chapter contains references to child abuse and attempted self-harm (granted the latter is just the same thing that happens in Episode Prompto but still), so take caution when reading! The next few chapters will also have some warnings for them, but they’ll be listed beforehand. We’re coming close to the end here, so the dark stuff had to come out at some point!

Tagging: @themissimmortal, @cupnoodle-queen, @nifwrites, @takuahijackedthetardis, @fujinhildr, @lunarlapin, and @mini-moogle-queen. Let me know if you wish to be tagged in future updates!

Katia awakened to the cold, and a slight pain in the back of her head. She struggled as she tried to remember what had happened. She was trying to get to Tenebrae or find Prompto after jumping off the train. She found someone in the morning fog, but it wasn't who she was looking for, it was someone else. She struggled, trying to remember who it was.

She opened her eyes, confused by the dark, gritty surroundings. She tried to sit up, hoping she'd do better after getting off the cold ground. As her eyes settled to the darkness, she suddenly realized where she was, at least to a small degree. She was in some kind of prison cell. But why? How'd she get here? "Oh well, I can probably break this open in no time." she told herself. She held out her hand, waiting for her lance to appear. But it didn't come. There was no sign of it. The hell was going on? Why couldn't she summon her weapon?

She quickly forgot it once she took a look at her left wrist, uncovered and baring the barcode she'd tried so desperately to hide for all her life. She felt her chest tighten and her breathing grow heavy. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't!

"Ah, you've finally awakened. I was starting to worry about you, my dear." A voice echoed through the room, and Katia remembered everything that happened. This was all his fault. She glared at Ardyn as he stood on the other side of the cell, trying to regain her composure.

"You!" she growled. "Where the hell are we?! Where's my wristband?! Why can't I summon my weapon?!"

"Now, now, you don't have to shout," Ardyn cooed. "I'm certain you have many questions, so I'll just start at the beginning. You are in Zegnautus Keep in Gralea, the capital of Niflheim. I was serious when I said I'd be bringing you home. The power of the crystal has been sealed here, so You won't be bringing out your little toy here. As for that wristband, well, you won't be needing it anymore. So I disposed of it for you."

Katia's eyes widened. "No! Why'd you do that?! I need that thing!"

Ardyn chuckled. "Not anymore. You have no reason to hide what you truly are, my dear," He gestured to the barcode, prompting her to cover it up with her hand. "After all, keeping secrets like that just isn't right."

"What are you talking about?" Katia's voice began to shake as she slowly backed away. "The only thing I've hidden is this...thing! I don't know what it is or what you mean by 'what I truly am'!"

"So you truly have forgotten," Ardyn sighed. "What a pity. Lucky for you, I have all the time in the world, so I'll do you a favor and boost your memory. Tell me my dear, how much do you know about the magitek army?"

"I know that they're kids the empire's turned into daemons and stuffed in those mechanical bodies," Aranea's words came back to her. Even though she'd been depressed at the time, she'd still listened. And she was still disgusted by it. "Why?"

"You see, a normal MT soldier is powered through the many clones developed by our head researcher. Human beings created with the sole purpose of becoming Niflheims army. And at 'birth', each one is marked by the barcode you're trying so desperately to hide."

Katia stood there in shock. No, there was no way what he was saying was true. That would mean... "So...me and Prom...we're just-"

"Ah, so you know about his barcode! Does he know about yours?" She refused to answer him. "No matter. But yes, both of you were born in the labs of Niflheim."

"So then, we're clones?" Her composure was starting to break again.

"He is. But you, my dear? You're special. Would you like to hear the story?" He didn't give her time to answer, and began explaining anyway.

"Long ago, Emperor Aldercapt came to the head scientist with a proposition. He desired his own special force of magitek soldiers, ones that would be loyal to him and him alone, ones that were more powerful than your average foot soldier. And he provided the necessary materials to create those children. Not wanting to displease His Radiance, the project was accepted, and ten children were artificially born in synthetic wombs. Nine months passed and the children were all born. But there was one of them that was different from all the others, in a manner none of the scientists could possibly explain.

"One of the children, a girl to be precise, had a marking on her left wrist. Not just any marking, but a feather-shaped marking. The marking indicating the bond of soulmates blessed by the Astrals."

Katia said nothing, only removing her hand to look at the chocobo feather on her wrist. What he was saying couldn't be real. There's no possible way. But before she could object, Ardyn continued his "story".

"While the researchers tried to figure out the reason for this strange phenomenon, a tragedy struck. Nine of the children bred to be the emperor's special soldiers mysteriously died. Only the girl with the feather survived. Just when the project was to be considered a failure, one of the clones also had a peculiar mark on his right wrist. Another feather, matching that of the sole surviving child from Aldercapt's blood. It was outright abnormal. The researchers wished to discover the means of both children having the same soulmate marking when they were supposed to be nothing more than the empire's soldiers, but than a Lucian came and stole the boy away, leaving the girl behind. Do you need a moment to take all that in, my dear? I'll pause my story while you do so."

Katia didn't answer, but the look on her face was all he needed. She didn't want to believe this. There was no way her and Prompto had been born just for that. He must be lying. She sunk to her knees, trying to muster up the energy to speak. "You...You're lying!"

"I'm afraid not, I speak only the truth to you. What reason would I have to lie?"

"...You called me 'Ms. Aldercapt' before. Is that because..." She couldn't finish her sentence.

"While you were artificially born, you are most certainly by all technicalities the daughter of Emperor Iedolas Aldercapt. Not that he knows you even exist, the project was reported as being a failure to him. Even if he did know that you were alive, it's not as if he'd recognize you as his daughter. He gave you up to be experimented on before you were even born."

"Say I take everything you've said so far as the truth, than why is it you didn't just turn me into one of those soulless machines?"

"I'm glad you asked, for now I can continue my story. Once the boy was whisked away to Insomnia, that left the young girl. The prospect of the feather marking and her miraculous survival interested the lead researcher, he believed it meant she was meant for something more. So the question was, what could be done with her. And then I stepped in, with a brilliant plan for how she could be useful. Instead of being turned into a soldier, she would be turned into a spy. Taught the ways of how to fight, along with basic skills such as reading comprehension, she could be placed into Insomnia and relay information about the kingdom to us. That would also give us the chance to discover why she had the soulmate marking.

"Unfortunately, that was a harder task than we believed. Despite being created to be the perfect soldier, the girl had, let's call them 'defects'. These defects made it harder to train her and make her into what she needed to be. These defects couldn't just be fixed either, it's rather hard to modify the mind after all. One wrong move, and you can cause more permanent damage. Six years had passed, and we were ready to give up. But one last chance was given to the child.

"Throughout her testing, a chip had been implanted in her mind. When activated, this chip would overwrite her current state of mind, causing her to report anything she'd learned. But before this chip could be tested, the girl escaped. She smuggled away on a train and made her way to Altissia. It made no difference though, surely the chip would still work. But sadly, the child continued to prove herself to be no more than a failure. The only thing the chip did, was this:"

Before she could ask any questions, Katia felt the all-too familiar headache pounding in her skull. Just as soon as it had started though, it stopped. She looked back up at Ardyn, a smirk on his face and some kind of small device in his hand. She didn't want to believe him, she was certain he was trying to break her. But the evidence was too convincing. But she wouldn't admit it. "You're lying!" she shouted.

Ardyn simply chuckled, shaking his head. "Honestly, my dear, are you truly so stubborn? I've given you all the facts and yet you still don't believe me? Let me ask you, if you're so certain that what I'm saying is a lie, than why is it you're so skilled at using a lance? It's no easy weapon to master, yet you pick it up almost like a natural. Why do you think that is?"

Katia was ready to retaliate, but stopped upon realizing that he was right. She'd taken to it so quickly during her Crownsguard training but thought nothing of it. But she shouldn't have been so skilled with it already, so then why...

Something suddenly flashed through her mind. The sound of metal clanging against the ground, a lance lying in front of her, the sound of footsteps as an old man came forward, the feeling of pain as she was slapped on the cheek, the old man's voice demanding her to get back up and keep going, and the urge to cry as she slowly picked the weapon back up.

As if that were the key to unlocking some kind of door, other memories flooded her mind. The needles she'd been pricked with, the training she had to endure, the horrible tests she had to go through, the cold cell she had for a home, the fear and panic as she ran through the halls trying to escape, the train and boat she'd stowed away on, and a woman with a familiar face telling her she wouldn't have to remember any of those things.

Katia clutched her head and screamed. This isn't what she wanted, she never wanted to remember those terrible things! She was supposed to be a Lucian from Insomnia, the daughter of Stabilis Ferrum, the best friend of Prompto Argentum and Noctis Lucis Caelum. But it was all a lie. She was Niflheim's property, a test tube baby intended to betray the people she loved. The barcode branded her for life, if the others found out she'd be cast away. And if Prompto knew just what she was meant to be... "NO! NO! NO!" She pounded her fist against the floor as she shouted the word over and over again. She didn't want any of this to be real.

"Oh my, have you finally remembered?" Ardyn's voice slipped her back into reality. "Perhaps now you can see that I've been telling you the truth."

No, she still wasn't going to give in. She wasn't about to give him what he wanted. "So? I escaped once, I can do it again!" She put on a facade of bravery, she could cry when she was alone.

Once again, Ardyn just chuckled. "Oh Katia, you don't understand. How do you think you were able to escape in the first place? Surely you remember how that happened, right?"

As much as she didn't want to, she thought back to when she broke free from Niflheim's grasp. "There was a keycard on the ground. I picked it up and used it to get out."

"And how do you think that keycard ended up where it was?" She didn't even have to think long to make the connection he was implying.

"You mean, the only reason I escaped is because you let me out?"

"Correct! I knew you were smart enough to figure it out. If I hadn't let you escape, they would've terminated you upon realizing what a failure you were. You should be thanking me for saving your life."

Katia backed up to the edge of the wall. "Why are you telling me all this?!"

"Because you deserve to know your heritage after all. Yours and Prompto's. And I have much more to discuss with you while we wait for your 'friends' to arrive."

The mention of his name sent a fire through her. "Where is he?! What're you doing to him?!"

"Oh I can assure you, he's off learning the same information you are. And very soon he'll be joining you here."

"What're you gonna do to us?"

"The True King must be brought here. And what better bait to use than his two closest friends?" Ardyn opened the door to the cell, clutching Katia's face and studying it. "You really do have a lovely face. I wonder what would happen if I roughed it up a little?"

Katia struggled to get out of his grasp. "Let go of me, you monster!"

"Yes, I suppose that's an apt name to call me," All of a sudden, his eyes turned pitch black. "After all, I don't think I'm very human anymore."

"If you think you can break me, than you got another thing coming! I'm not afraid of you!"

"The thing about willpower is that it doesn't matter how strong it is. Every person has a breaking point. And rest assured, I'll find a way to break yours," He let go of her face, but before she could do anything her arms were pinned up against the wall, Ardyn brandishing a dagger in his free hand. "Now then, I do believe it's time I had my fun." He slowly brought the dagger to her face, the tip of it poking her flesh. With a quick motion, he swiped the blade, small droplets of blood spilling as Katia screamed.

--------------------------------------

"Almost as good as what Iggy used to make," Prompto said shakily, placing the canned food down. He stared at the fire in front of him. "Well, at least it's quiet for a change." He hoped that he could distract himself from the truth, but it was hard.

He wished this was a nightmare he could wake up from. But as much as he wished it, Prompto's reality was cruel. He now knew the truth about the barcode, about where he came from, about everything. He looked at the chocobo feather marking, finding it to be his sole comfort in this time. He hadn't felt any warmth from it since yesterday, but he was feeling pain. He had no idea what Katia was doing to get herself so banged up, but he couldn't help but worry about her.

His thoughts returned to all those voice logs and papers he'd found inside the First Magitek Facility. It hadn't just been his own origins he'd discovered, but hers as well. The empire had intended on using them as weapons. But she had stayed here, she hadn't been rescued. For six years she'd been experimented on. It was no wonder that she'd forgotten everything, who'd want to remember such things?

It didn't change his feelings for her though. They were both in the same boat, he sympathized with her and wished he could give her a hug. But she was still with the guys, and he had no way of knowing when he'd get back to them, or if they'd even want him back. If she'd want him back...

He looked back at the barcode, anger coursing through him. If only he didn't have this...thing... He began scratching at it furiously, not making any headway with the glove still on. "Damnit!" It wouldn't come off. But maybe we wasn't trying hard enough. All other thoughts out of his mind, he picked up one of the burnt logs and held it over his arm. He was going to get rid of this thing, one way or another.

He stuck the log on top of the barcode, feeling the burning pain as he hoped it would get rid of the brand. He began hearing a scream in his head and quickly dropped it, trying to recover. That scream, it almost sounded like Katia... He looked down at the arm, the barcode still there. Great, not only did it not work, but he just put the one he loved through needless pain. He brokenly laughed. "...Branded for life."

"Don't tell me you thought that would work," Prompto slowly raised his head at the sound of the voice. Aranea now stood at the entrance of the cave, looking at him with what he could only assume was pity. "'Prompto', right?" She walked over to him, took a potion and crushed it above his arm. She sat down at the fire beside him as he remained unresponsive. "You could at least look happy to see me." He continued to look at his arm, making gasps in response. Looks like she had to let out the news now.

"I ran into your buddies in Tenebrae," That seemed to get a response out of him as he finally looked over at her. "You've got 'em worried sick," The reaction only lasted a moment though, as he went back to looking down at the ground. "You gonna go see 'em or what?"

Prompto thought over the information he was told. His friends were worried about him? No, that was impossible. "I... I can't," he said. "I can't. ...I'm not like them. I was born here-in Niflheim," He didn't bother to bring up the part about Katia, it'd be better if she stayed in the dark and no one else knew. "All this time and I've never told them. And that's not even the worst part. I wasn't born into a happy family. I was made-created in some laboratory. The entire reason I exist is to make Noct and all of them miserable. How could I possibly see them? They'd never accept the real me."

"You spent all that time driving around together and you still don't know what kinda guys they really are," Aranea began, snapping Prompto out of his depressed stupor. "In case you forgot, your princely pal and I weren't always on such friendly terms. But you know what? He put all that aside and asked me to make sure you two were safe. Think he'd do that for someone who makes him miserable?"

"...He did?" Prompto asked, when the realization suddenly hit him. "Wait, you two?"

Aranea sighed. "That girl who was with you, Katia right? She wasn't with them. Guess she went running off after you, jumped right off the train."

Prompto's own worries suddenly vanished, replaced with concern over his soulmate. Was that why she was getting hurt so much? But he hadn't seen her at all, where could she have gone? "Do you know where she is?"

"Sorry, haven't seen her. I was kinda hoping she'd be with you. If I had to guess, she's on her way to Gralea. Don't take my word for it though."

Part of him wanted to be happy that she was looking for him, that she really did love him enough to do that. But the other part of him was too busy being consumed with worry. She was clearly getting banged up, but he didn't know why. He prayed to the Astrals that Ardyn hadn't found her, that was the last thing he needed.

The night went on, and Prompto continued to ask questions, before eventually getting pinned down by Aranea telling him that he needs to live his own life, think about what he wants. As she left him there, he could only think about one thing. Katia. She would accept him, she already knew about his barcode just as he knew about hers. He'd have to tell her the truth about herself, but that could wait until they were back together. Because he knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was to be with Katia. He just had to find her.

That night, he dreamt of her lying in a cell and calling his name. He hoped that it wasn't some kind of sign.