#i am in love with every single character like what like i am utterly smitten

[tar0star]

i love haikyuu so much omg I'm dying i just spent the last 4 hours consuming haikyuu content

[mrinafria]

The person who saved my life, and the person who made me want to live again, were all you.

Writing this to echo what @thedeathdeelers said in her post. I'm a Seon Jae softie through and through, and yet, when anyone questions Im Sol's choices or calls her names, I want to flip a table pretty much because have you seen the effects her choices have had on people?

Because of Im Sol's choices her mom doesn't have a burn injury on her hand.

Because of Im Sol's choices their house didn't completely burn down.

Because of Im Sol's choices Hyun Joo finally has the best of both worlds, with no regrets about letting go of something for the other. Her brother who was struggling with no motivation or luck whatsoever is definitely better off now.

Because of Im Sol's choices we even have a Tae Sung in the story, otherwise all we knew at the beginning, in episode 1, was he was some guy who dropped out of school after getting into a fight over something. Not the best first introduction to a character (who goes on to become the best second ML ever). I am the most proud about Tae Sung's transformation, because you can see that even in high school, underneath the 'bad boy' facade, he craved some genuine care and attention and guidance, which Im Sol the haelmoni, the yeppo noona provided.

Im Sol's choices allowed Seon Jae in Alt 2023 to live guilt-free for 14 years (where they confess), instead of him suffering that mental anguish and longing for 15 years out of guilt which the OG Seon Jae had to go through. And we all know what my feelings are about that version of him.

Because of Im Sol's choices, Sonagi exists (/-ed). Because if the 19yo Im Sol had not held the umbrella over him, giving him that dazzling smile of hers that is sunburst and blinding and contagious, capable of stirring storms within the heart, our boy would not be smitten and a loser and a goner for life (well, lives). And now we all know what that means when she chooses not to do that.

If Im Sol's choices have made anyone's life harder, it's Im Sol herself. She carries around the memories of THREE++ timelines, with the love of her life dying/almost dying in EVERY one of them. She goes through life as if she really didn't live through all that trauma that is enough to drive someone insane. She knows her Seon Jae is gone, for good, and all she has are memories that don't even exist in this timeline, memories that not even a single person can corroborate. You know how utterly helpless and hopeless that sounds like? She has a person in this timeline that resembles her Seon Jae, but she has to constantly remind herself he is not her person, her Seon-Jae, he better not be if she wants to see him alive. Going around in the city and seeing his posters/ads with his face on it, or stumbling onto him and seeing him staring at her with no recognition whatsoever? It's not easy. Becoming a complete stranger to someone who was once your everything, who could've been your everything. Not easy.

And she decides to carry on with life still because deep down she knows that's what Seon Jae would want, that's what Seon Jae had taught her: to live for the people who are thankful to have her around, to live to see another day, rain or shine. She loves life, lives life, as a token of gratitude to Seon Jae. She lives because when she says You saved my life, and you made me live to him, those are not just words she is casually throwing around. She is thankful that he made her find reasons to live one more day, and she is going to pay him back by living a worthwhile life. Because Seon Jae truly wants/ed that. He literally died wanting that, putting her life before him, because he wanted her to live, and by living, I mean not just breathing and spending the remainder of her life with survivor's guilt. Going back to this epic confession scene, he says all that because he is afraid of how Im Sol would go on with her life if he's no more. Here, he wants her to know that she doesn't need to blame herself, or suffer, because it is his choice to save her, and it'll all be worth it to him if she gets to live the best life she possibly can.

Just like Seon Jae in any timeline never stopped living or appreciating the good things in life despite longing for Im Sol for more than a decade, she will live and keep her love for him alive through herself. Even if she comes back home at the end of the day to cry in secret, or breaks down in tears in public places.

If Im Sol didn't make the choices she did, we won't have a Seon Jae to begin with.

[lovemaiyo-main]

RONNETTE, MY DEAR (don't ever dissapear) + s. nagi

⁎ note i feel so crunchy today 🙏🏻😓 one (this) | two (rin itoshi) | three (reo mikage) | four (chigiri hyoma)

promises. once when you were young and carefree, you had promised to give him the world. it was the first time nagi had realized he was truly in love with you. it wasn't anything special, rather a domestic moment. you both were seated on the couch. nagi's head was on your lap, his phone was lying down on his stomach. there was a movie playing in the background, and your eyes were fixated on the big screen. he was staring at you. you were perfect. from the dark circles under your eyes to the brightening of your face at whatever was showing on the tv. he found every beauty mark, every spot, every single inch of your body beautiful. you looked down at him and brushed his snowy bangs away from his face. " are you sleeping, sei ? " you had asked. he didn't reply, but something told you from the heaving of his chest that he was still awake. " i love you. " he said. the first ever love you he ever said. the words sounded unfamiliar to him, but not unpleasant. like the taste of a new food. like a character in a game that turned out to be op. your cheeks looked rosier. " where did this come from ?? hah, i love you too " you had just smiled and said that, but your face quickly changed to a slightly more serious expression. you looked down at him, into his eyes. " i really, really, love you. i know i'm not perfect or anywhere near, but i want to do everything for you. i promise to give you the world. " to that, he had said only four words. " to me, you glow. "

midnight conversations. the second time nagi knew he wanted to share every good thing in his life with you. it was the first time in forever that he couldn't sleep. he kept tossing and turning. " can't sleep either ? " you'd asked him. he was startled by your sudden words, he turned towards you, his sleepy eyes blown wide. you were sitting, propped up on the pillow, looking at the ceiling. he'd just hummed and closed his eyes. " i've been wondering, " you started. he opened his eyes and looked at you. 5 months later, and you were still as gorgeous as ever. you hair was messy and eyes dreary, but you were still the most gorgeous person ever. you were always unreal to him. like an angel. you were his guardian angel, always there for him. it made him so confused to as how a person as enchanting as you could even exist in this lonesome world. you were unreal. and yet, you were there, sharing the same sky, the same dreams, and the same bed as him. he didn't even hear what you said next. " -shirou ? sei ? are you listening " your brows were furrowed. " mmh ? " he mumbled. he felt kind of bad, but at the same time your slightly pouting face was a sight to see. you'd just sighed and layed down. " nevermind. 'm sleepy now. " as you pressed a kiss to his forehead , he came to a realization. him, seishirou nagi, pro football star, egoist, was utterly and totally smitten with you. more then you would ever know. this time, as he drifted off to the land of the asleep, he dreamt about angels.

stargazing. the third time nagi seishirou thanked fate for leading him to you. " this old lady on the train was telling her other old lady friend about how her husband took her stargazing to renew their marriage vows !! i almost squealed, it was so cute !! hey, sei, do you think we'll be like that ? old and in love ? " you'd been telling him about your day while you played with his hair. it felt calming, your gentle hands on his scalp. he'd just hummed at your question, but inwardly smiled. stargazing. he would love to stargaze with you. " what time is it ? " he asked. you looked confused but told him the time anyways. " 10 : 56 pm. why ? " " do you wanna go stargazing ? " you sighed " what am i going to do with you , sei ? " but you went. it was beautiful, really, the twinkling stars shooting across the dark sky, but he couldn't focus on that. there was a more beautiful sight right next to him. in that moment, there was no other way to describe it. you were radiating. you eyes were fixed on the stars, then your watch. " HEY !! sei, it's 11:11 !! make a wish ! " you looked at him. " 'ts stupid, no one does that anymore.." he'd grumbled, but seeing the slightly downcast look on your face made him reconsider. " there. " he sighed " i wished. "

somehow, without him even telling you, you'd known what he'd wished for.

[5thmarauderwrites]

Blurted Confession — Remus Lupin x Slytherin Reader Request.

Requests are: OPEN.

Requested by Anonymous: “could you do a remus x slytherin reader where the marauders are all in class and see her with a hufflepuff friend and he's like... wait she's so NICE actually? just a lot of fluff in general 👉🏻👈🏻“.

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Slytherin!Reader.

Word Count: 1,7K

Warnings: None, it’s fluff all the way.

A/N: This was my first time ever writing for Remus and I loved every second of it because: Remus is baby. [insert here a cute emoji]. Hope you like it, Anon! <3

Remus had the vague notion that Professor McGonagall’s voice was tolling in the background as she explained the fundamentals of the Inanimatus Conjurus Spell to her very attentive students, but he couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to a word she was saying. Instead of being focused on the extremely difficult subject being taught by one of the most strict Professors Hogwarts has ever had, his chocolate eyes were glued to a very interesting and unexpected scene: a y/h/c Slytherin girl he had seen – and not so discreetly stared at – quite some times, mostly in the library, chatting happily with a Hufflepuff girl. And they seemed really close?

The girl had intrigued the boy ever since he first saw her; she was reading one of his favourite muggle stories in the Wooden Bridge, which happened to be one of his favourite places in the castle to get lost inside his books. However, he never really got the chance to talk to her. If he was being honest, talking to her was something he was never entirely sure he wanted to do, since she seemed extremely intimidating; mostly, he knew, because of the house she was sorted into.

Remus was never one to judge a book by its cover; he definitely did not hold any sort of prejudice against all Slytherins. Sure, the house had a few individuals of doubtful character, like Severus Snape, Mulciber and that Avery boy, but then again, they could’ve ended up in any other house. So why was he so intimidated by the fact that Y/N was a Slytherin? Remus knew many of the Slytherins held a profound dislike for the Gryffindors, and maybe, just maybe, that’s what had really refrained him from ever talking to her. Deep down, he was afraid of being rejected by one of the few girls that were actually able to catch his eyes over these five years he had been attending Hogwarts.

“Mr Lupin?” Professor McGonagall called, snapping Remus out of his thoughts. Once he focused on her, he felt a lump starting to form inside his throat as he noticed the clearly displeased glare she was sending him.

“Yes, Professor?” He answered weakly, feeling all the eyes of the room on him.

“Am I boring you with my class?” She asked blatantly, winging her brows.

“No- no,” he muttered, desperately wanting to crawl into a hole, as he hated to be on the spotlight.

“Perhaps you’d rather having Miss L/N explaining today’s lesson to you?” The Professor pursed her lips in annoyance, bending her head to her right. “Since you clearly seem more interested in her than in whatever I have to say.”

Remus felt his cheeks burning as a crimson tone painted his face. “I told you he was looking at her!” He heard James whispering, probably to Sirius.

“Sorry,” Remus was able to mutter after a few seconds.

Minerva McGonagall sent him a last death glare before turning to the blackboard and, waving her wand at it, writing down what she had been explaining since the beginning of the class. Remus quickly grabbed his pieces of parchment and the quill he had packed in his bag this morning and started to furiously take notes, avoiding to glance in Y/N’s direction at all costs.

“Smitten with the little snake, are we Moony?” James Potter wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at his brown-haired friend.

“Oi! Don’t talk about her like that!” Sirius Black scolded him.

Remus and James both snapped his heads towards Sirius and said in unison, “excuse me?”

“Since when do you advocate on behalf of a Slytherin? James asked with an utterly shocked frown.

“She’s friends with Regulus,” the raven-haired boy shrugged. “She always looks out for him, besides she’s the reason why we’re on speaking terms again.”

“Did she help you mend your relationship with your brother?” Remus asked, gobsmacked.

“That and she also helped me when I ran away from home after Walburga had burned my face out of the family tree,” he smiled weakly, his mind clearly traveling back to the dreadful day.

“How so?” James seemed even more shocked than before, if this was even possible.

“Y/N and Regulus were hanging out in his room when my charming mother started to scream at me and command me to leave the house and never come back,” Sirius answered with a grimace. “Y/N came to my room to help me pack my stuff and gave me all the money she had with her, in case I had nowhere to go and needed it.”

“Wow, she’s…” James started, looking for the right words.

“Actually nice,” Remus completed his sentence, completely awestruck.

“She is, Moony,” Sirius smiled at his friend, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “You and she have a lot in common, actually.”

Remus stared at the table with a lopsided grin after Sirius’ words. Y/N was an honourable young woman who had an incredible amount of kindness inside of her. Stealing a glance in her direction, his chocolate eyes locked with her y/e/c ones and Remus could feel his stomach churning inside of his belly as she sent him a sweet smile.

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A week had passed since the Transfiguration class and Remus hadn’t still talked to Y/N, despite Sirius offering again and again to be his wingman and introduce the both of them formally. Even James and Peter tried to boost his confidence by saying she would be crazy not to be interested in him, but the boy still couldn’t help but being afraid of a possible rejection.

Remus kept on studying Y/N and her behaviour for the days to come, noticing how sweet she was to her Hufflepuff friend and how she would stick up for her when some nasty seventh year boys tried to bully the girl. He noticed how she always smiled at herself when reading a book, which he found extremely adorable. He noticed how her eyes would light up when talking about something she was passionate about. He noticed every single little thing about her. What he also noticed is how his heart started to flutter inside his chest at the mere sight of the girl.

“Merlin’s beard! Go talk to her already,” Remus heard the annoyed whisper of Sirius Black in his ear. He had been lost inside his own head for quite a while whilst his eyes involuntarily stared at Y/N from behind a bookshelf.

“What are you doing?” The brown-haired boy hissed with a frown as he turned back to face his friend.

“Helping you with your love life, of course,” Sirius shrugged as if it was obvious.

“I meant here. In the library. You never once stepped a foot in here,” Remus narrowed his eyes.

“Like I said, helping you. You’re looking like a creep hiding in here and staring at her in despair, just go up there and say hi!” Sirius whispered with a poignant urgency, bouncing his arms to reiterate his point.

“I’m not hiding to look at her!” Remus answered exasperatedly. “I was searching for a book!”

“Mate, you weren’t eyeing those books, that’s for sure,” Sirius chuckled as he crossed his arms and leaned against the old bookshelf, his brows defiantly winged.

Remus heaved a sigh as he steadied himself in the bookshelf opposite to Sirius, facing the books disposed ahead of himself and avoiding the gaze of the raven-haired boy, “she seems like a bloody magnet, mate. I… I don’t know, my mind is completely focused on whatever I am doing and next thing I know, my eyes land on her and I just… sort of lose track of time?” He huffed disheartened.

“You really are whipped, aren’t ya?” Sirius shook his head with a smile.

“I guess I am,” Remus nodded, turning his body in Sirius’ direction.

A mischievous smile flickered quickly through Sirius’ lips as he looked behind Remus’ shoulder for a second before turning his attention back to his friend, “tell her that.”

“Tell her what? That I find her extremely kind and sweet? That she is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen? That I can’t stop thinking about her? That she makes my heart flutter inside my chest? That I’d like to take her out not only in one but in as many dates as she pleased? We don’t even talk to each other. How can I possibly tell her that? Where do I begin from?” Remus blurted out.

“How about by saying hi?” A female voice said from behind him.

Remus widened his eyes in shock as he turned on his heels abruptly and was met by Y/N’s piercing y/e/c eyes. The Slytherin girl had a smile on her face and her lower lip was pressed between her teeth.

“Y/N!” Remus exclaimed, clearly nervous, as his cheeks turned crimson. “Hi!”

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Sirius winked before wiggling his brows and walking away.

“So… Does Remus John Lupin fancy me?” Y/N asked as her own cheeks acquired a pink tone.

“Well, I guess there’s no point in denying when you’ve heard my entire confession…” he started nervously, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Why would you want to deny it?” Y/N asked and Remus could notice her face falling a little, his heart twinging with hope.

“Because I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable in case you don’t feel the same way,” he shrugged, a sweet smile on his lips.

Y/N’s grin widened as she stared into Remus’ chocolate eyes, “well, I could never feel uncomfortable for being fancied by you, not when I’ve been fancying you myself for the past two years.”

“You fancy me?” Remus asked incredulously. “Me? For the past two years?”

“I thought it was obvious, since I can’t seem to stop staring at you,” she shrugged with a giggle.

“Actually, I’ve had my eyes on you for about the same amount of time,” he chuckled, biting his lower lip as he gazed at the ceiling.

“And instead of talking to each other we just stood there hoping the other would notice our crush…” Y/N stated slowly. “Merlin, we’re such idiots!”

“We really are,” Remus agreed, both staring at each other with lopsided grins. “So… would you, maybe… like to go to Hogsmeade with me next month?” He asked after a moment of a comfortable silence.

“There’s nothing I’d like more,” Y/N answered with a wide smile.

[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 6. Christmas Food

Request: @slytherinmagic38​ - "I have a request! Would you be open to writing a fanfic on Snape x Lily? They're my OTP... *^* Can it be super fluffly? >///< I live for the fluff XD"

A/N: So I got this request and I just had to make it a Snapemas fic since I got a fluffy idea regarding Snape cooking a whole Christmas dinner for Lily and their friends. This fic is a little OC (and AU) for many characters; you'll see ;) (Disclaimer! I am NOT good at fluff, sorry slytherinmagic38, but I will do my best!)

Setting: Spinner's End, Snape's House

Pairing: Snape x Lily

Word count: 3674

Warnings: Fluff, Love, Kissing

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // SNAPEMAS POST

He had been slaving in the kitchen since the early hours of the morning. The house smelled of ham, turkey, gingerbread cookies, potatoes and all things good with Christmas food. He was so nervous he had barely gotten any sleep. Everything had to be perfect. Absolutely perfect. Because she was coming. Lily. Lovely, sweet Lily whom he had adored since the first day they met.

He smiled to himself as his cheeks turned a shade of scarlet red. Just the thought of her was enough to make him all giddy despite being an adult. Despite being nearly 24 years old. He was just a boy in love when it came to her.

The doorbell rang and his entire body went numb. He had just finished setting the table and had lit the last of the many candles that made the room shine in a warm glow. She's here, he thought to himself and hurriedly walked tot he door. He took a deep breath before he unlocked and open it.

There she stood, packed in thick clothes and while she held a pie in her hands. "Merry Christmas, Sev," she said happily and he smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. "Merry Christmas, Flower," he answered and stepped away from the opening so she could come in. Her smile was instantly wider and she handed him the pie before she closed the door behind her.

"It's so cold," she murmured as she took off her coat, hat, gloves, scarf and boots. "Well, it has been snowing." Severus just watched her with glittering eyes as she laughed. "True, true, at least it's nice and warm with you," she said and his heart fluttered at her words. Her cheeks a bit red - from the cold or the sweet words he did not know.

"Well, um, come in," he said as he fumbled for anything nice to say back, "feel free to heat up by the fire." He turned at those words and walked toward the kitchen. Her soft steps echoed behind him. "What have you been cooking? It smells divine!" Severus still smiled, just being close to her made him happy. Happy and content.

"Food," he murmured sheepishly and she laughed. It echoed all through the house and he loved that sound. "I know that, but what food Sev? What lovely creations have you come up with for us?" "Have a look," he said as they entered the kitchen and he placed the pie among a mountain of food - everything from the simplest of homemade bread to the most garnished turkey one could imagine.

Lily gawked, Severus held his breath. She turned towards him and closed her mouth as if she just had figured out it was open. He became nervous and fiddled with his fingers behind his back. "Is it not enough?" he asked as he ventured to look into her clear eyes. "Enough? Oh, Severus, it's far too much!" she gushed with a hand against her throat. "Guess I'm not used to cooking for more than one," he said, "I just, wanted you to have all the things you'd like." She smiled at him and laid her hand upon his arm. "This is more than I could ever want. Let's hope the others are hungry, so it doesn't go to waste." Severus nodded at her words but were totally lost in her twinkling eyes.

"Well, let's get cracking," Lily said as she rolled up her sleeves and rubbed her hands together in a joyous kind of way. Severus chuckled and did the same. "You really are a great cook," she said softly and her face seemed to turn a little red again. Severus felt the heat of a blush as well. "Thank- thank you," he murmured as his voice was a bit unstable from her proximity.

They moved all the food out to the table Severus had set up in the living room. He had clear the room as best he could to fit the giant piece of furniture with all the chairs that belonged to it. Lily bumped into him at times, or she reached across him to place a food item down. Every time she was close the faint smell of ginger, honey and summer wafted up to his nose and he nearly hummed in delight.

Severus tried his best not to touch her but he found himself accidentally touching her hand from time to time as they passed each other. While they each went for the pie in the kitchen the same thing happened again and the warmth of her made him shiver as it spread through him like the softest of summer breeze.

"Flower, I-" The doorbell rang and Severus nearly cursed at the damn sound. "That must be the others!" Lily exclaimed excitedly but her eyes lingered on him. A soft look and Severus felt the hammering in his chest yet again. "I-" The doorbell rang again and Severus sighed. "We'll talk later Sev," Lily said as she left to open the door after she gave him a quick pat on his upper arm. Warmth spread from where she had touched him for that single little moment in time.

Severus followed with a smile. Her red hair shined in the candlelight and he could not help but adore the dress she wore as it fitted her perfectly (and gave him a very fine view as well). She opened the door and a chorus of Christmas wishes exploded in the tight hallway as it filled up with people Severus had invited. Mostly to make Lily happy but also because he was rather happy he had friends. Sure they hadn't started off as friends, rather the opposite but as he had changed, thanks to Lily among others, so had they.

"I'm starving!" Sirius roared. "Oy, oy, hold on a minute," Remus chuckled as he came up behind the man. "Yeah Padfoot, let us at least get inside!" James hollered with a chuckle and Sirius made a fainting gesture as he groaned. Severus chuckled and Lily laughed. It was the most wondrous sound for him. "You can hang your coats there," Severus said as he pointed with open palm towards the wardrobe that he had nearly emptied for the coming guests ease. "Will do," Remus said with a smile and Severus smiled back.

As the men filed in Severus looked outside, to see if Peter were joining as well. But he could not see him. Or the other guests he had invited. As much as he and the Marauders were friends (again, thanks to lovely Lily) he had also invited his own friends. And, a person of high meaning to Lily - despite the fact that he did not quite enjoy that person's company. And he had only had word that very morning that she would indeed join them - with the words 'only for my sister' dashed out at the end of the muggle Christmas card.

"SIRIUS BLACK you hold on just a minute!" Lily's voice rang out with mocked sternness and Severus closed the door and headed towards the living room where the noise came from. He found a rather funny scene on the other side of the wall. Sirius was frozen mid-air with his hands over the freshly baked bread Severus had made. Lily with her hands on her hips stared at him and he looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. The other’s were snickering as they shook their heads.

"The food is for all of us, you mut!" The word was said with love and Sirius mocked a howl. "But, the doggie is starving Lil!" he said with a pleading voice and Lily shook her head. "It's quite alright, take one Sirius," Severus said with a short nod. Sirius beamed and winked at Lily before he snagged a piece fo the bread that was dusted with varying seeds and coated in honey.

"You are utterly hopeless," Lily whined as Sirius gulped down the bread with a grin. Severus came up behind Lily and placed his hand ever so gently on the small of her back. She looked up at him and smiled. It was a soft smile, filled with joy and tender feelings. Severus's knees shook a bit as he could not help but feel utterly smitten and frankly in love with the woman. "And you spoil him, Sev," she said with a slight tsk but nonetheless kept her smile. "It's that or whining until the others arrive." Lily nodded, seemingly pondering on something.

The doorbell rang yet again, just loud enough to be heard over the laughter and Christmas carols that blurted from the little radio in the window. Severus were reluctant to move as Lily had sat down right next to him and their knees were softly pressed against each other; despite the fact that she had plenty of room on the couch she chose to sit right next to him.

With a slight sigh Severus got up, "I'll see who's joining us." He walked out of the room as the other continued their conversation on new spells and the possible uses for them in humorous ways. Severus stalked over to the door and opened it. "Mewy 'wistmas!" rang out as little Draco, merely four years old, beamed up at him. "Merry Christmas Draco," Severus said and crouched to his level, "what have you got there?" "'oockies!" He said happily and stretched the little box towards Severus, "Fo' eve'yone." Severus smiled and thanked the little boy before he rose again and Draco went inside; as he eagerly shed his coat, hat, gloves and boots.

"We apologies, we couldn't find a sitter for him," Narcissa said, with a gentle smile. "That's quite alright, I believe Lily will be rather happy. Merry Christmas," he said and Narcissa smiled wider. "Merry Christmas, Severus." "Yes, Merry Christmas indeed," Lucius said with a chuckle as laughter and cooing could be heard from the living room. The Marauders were not quite friends with the couple but they all were friendly enough and James quite often discussed work (the fun parts) with Lucius as they were tightly connected being in the same department at the Ministry.

"I hear the cavalry is here?" Lucius drawled and Severus nodded with a tight smile. "Oh Lucius, stop it," Narcissa chided with a light pat on his shoulder. Lucius smiled at his wife and Severus could not help but wonder if he and Lily could ever have such a relationship. A marriage between them. He pushed the thought away, he was already nervous as it was.

"This way," Severus said and led the couple into the living room where Draco already ran around and played with all of the present people. Lily was the favourite, obviously. Severus looked as Draco told Lily all about the cookies he and his mother had baked for everyone. Lily cooed and praised him for his hard work. Draco beamed at her, as only a happy child could. But Severus only had eyes for Lily. She beamed nearly just as bright and his chest tightened with love for the woman.

"So, are we all here? Can we dig in?" Sirius said as he clapped his hands together with a grin. "We-" started Lily but Severus interrupted her. "Flower, we are not all here yet," he said softly with a tender smile only for her. She looked puzzled while she looked between him and the table as it was set for eight people (since he had a hunch Peter would not arrive as he had heard not the slightest sound from the man). "Draco needs a place to sit, he was not planned." Lily smiled, but still looked puzzled. "We are really sorry, Severus," Narcissa said in a hushed tone. Severus waved his hand. "Nonsense, the boy is a joy," he said with a smile to both Narcissa and Lucius whom both smiled back at him. Obviously relieved.

"Who are we waiting for then?" Lily asked as she was rearranging the table setting. Severus smiled fondly towards her. "That, sweet Flower, is for you to see when-" and the doorbell rang again, "well, there we go," Severus declared before he rushed towards the door so as Lily would not beat him to it.

He opened it swiftly with a smile as he did not wish to make the relationship with Petunia any more strained than it already was. She was a, well, not very likeable woman to be frank. But he tried, by Merlin did he try. "Mrs Dursley," he said and gave her a gentle nod. She huffed. "Petunia is fine," she muttered as she took off her gloves with quite the show. "Petunia," Severus uttered as he stepped out of her path to allow her access to his home. Even if he didn't really enjoy the idea of it. For Lily, this is for Lily, he thought so as not to sneer at the woman as she hung her coat and changed her shoes to a pair of low heels.

"Sev, who- Tuni!" Lily screamed with glee as she rushed past Severus and took her sister in her arms. Petunia smiled as she petted Lily's back and Severus could not help but smile as well. They were opposites but they loved each other dearly. "Oh Lily, honestly, we saw each other just two weeks ago," Petunia spoke with a huff but seemed rather happy her sister was so excited to see her. "That was two weeks ago, and not at a Christmas dinner!" Petunia simply huffed and remained quiet.

"What's going on? We're starving back here!" Sirius called as he strolled into the hallway. "We're all here now," Severus said, "Petunia was the last one." "Well thank Merlin! Let's eat!" Sirius was gone before anyone had time to utter a word.

Severus had been kind enough to tell Petunia who would be joining them so the woman had obviously prepared herself as she didn't sneer or comment on Sirius behaviour. After all, they all knew each other quite well. Well, most likely she knows all of them deeper than they know her. Such a private person, Severus thought as he followed the sisters into the living room where Petunia actually looked pleasantly surprised by all the decorations and the splendid looking food.

"Well then, let's get seated," Severus said and pointed towards the table with an open palm as he waited for all of them to take a seat where ever they wanted. He would take whatever seat available, but he hoped to be next to Lily.

He ended up at the head of the table, Lily to his right and Narcissa to his left. He was quite happy with that. On the right side were Lily, Petunia, Remus and Sirius. On the left sat Narcissa, Draco, Lucius and then James. All were chatting and eating. All seemed happy and content. Severus made sure everyone's glasses were full and asked if anyone wanted anything that was not at the table. Draco, the little picky-eater, said he wanted apples. Sliced apples. Severus chuckled and headed off to the kitchen.

As he was slicing a green apple muffled steps were heard. He turned to see Lily, with a smile and an empty wine bottle in her hand. "Have any more, Sev?" "Top right cupboard," he said with a jerk of his chin. She walked past him, her elbow graced him as she placed the empty bottle on the counter and he stilled for a moment.

"I know you invited her for my sake," Lily said as she stood next to him. "Obviously," Severus stated as he moved the apple slices into a little bowl with a red Christmas pattern on it. "Severus," Lilly whispered as she placed her slender hand on top of his, "that was very sweet." He stilled, a gentle warmth spread through him and he turned his hand to take hers in his. "Anything for you, Flower." The whisper was soft and hushed. His heart hammered as their fingers intertwined.

"How long are you going to keep me waiting?" Lily asked and Severus jerk his head up only to be met with her loving eyes tenderly looking back at him. "Pardon?" "Oh Sev, we've been at this for a year now. Why haven't you asked me out yet?" Severus swallowed as his knees shook a tad. Everything went so still and quiet as she gazed at him longingly. He was out of words. And air. He sucked in a huge gulp as he noticed he really wasn't breathing.

"I didn't know- I wasn't sure-" he rambled as her hand squeezed his gently. "You know Sev, don't be so insecure. You know I'm in love with you." Severus's eyes turned wide and he blushed scarlet. Lily giggled sweetly. "Okay then, Severus, will you go out with me?" she said as the giggles had died down and he just stared at her for a long moment.

"Yes," was the only word that left his lips as he breathed out. She smiled and before he even had a chance to react she had kissed his cheeks softly. "Come on, they're waiting," Lily said and Severus nodded as he were afraid his voice would break if he spoke. So he followed her, a bowl of apple slices in his hand and a bottle of wine in her hand, as they walked back tot he living room and the guest's who were laughing and talking loudly.

An odd feeling swept in over Severus as he handed the bowl to Draco. It was warm and soft. Safe and joyfully. He was, well, he was happy. Truly happy. He had friends, he had loved ones and he had what could be described as a family. Something he had barely dared to hope for. But there he was, hosting a Christmas dinner in his home with Lily by his side and friends all around the table that was covered in the food he had cooked. Surrounded by Christmas decorations and laughter. Now, now I do sort of understand all that talk about family. And friends. Of its importance. No one should live without this. The thoughts were silent yet he smiled warmly as Lily grabbed his hand atop the table and squeezed it again.

"Finally!" Remus shouted and everyone went utterly still and quiet as Remus never spoke with such raised voice (unless he was bantering with Sirius that is). Everyone looked at the smiling werewolf who seemed wickedly pleased. "Maybe now you can shut up about him not asking you out," he said with a grin towards Lily who blushed deeply.

All eyes turned to them and Severus stiffened but Lily held his hand firmly and with a theatrical show she lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles as she smiled so broadly all her white teeth were flashed after the kiss. "Maybe you should make your own Christmas miracle to, Remus?" she chuckled and the looks she gave him told everyone at the table that Lily and Remus had a secret. Severus appeared to be the only one who noticed the slight glance Remus gave Sirius. As if he just darted around with his eyes. But Severus saw that look instantly and knew what it meant.

"What miracle?" Sirius asked with his mouth full of chicken. Severus could not help but internally laugh at Petunias aghast expression at the man's table manners. "Oh hush, don't speak with your mouth full," Remus chided and Severus chuckled as Lily shook her head. "What?" Sirius asked, baffled, "tell me about this miracle!" he raved as he chewed but nobody said anything. Remus simply smiled softly as he shared a look with Lily who gave a just as soft smile back.

"It was lovely Severus," Narcissa said as Draco hung over her shoulder in a deep slumber. "I'm glad you came," he answered. "So are we," Lucius interfered and Severus smiled at the both of them. "We are happy for you, dear Severus, truly." Narcissa smiled at him and he nodded in thanks. "Have a safe trip." "Thank you for the food and company, it was enjoyable." Lucius shook Severus's hand and then they were on their way. Just like Remus, Sirius and James had been a moment earlier.

In the living room - the very messy living room - sat Petunia and Lily. Both held a glass of wine each and they chatted quietly but happily. Severus lingered in the door frame for a moment. Just to look at her, lovely Lily. Such beauty, he thought and that warmth spread even further through him.

At that moment, Lily looked up and smiled at him. "Come join us, Sev." She beckoned him with a wave of his hand. He summoned a glass of fire whiskey as he walked towards the women and sat down in the chair opposite them. "Lily tells me you did all the cooking?" Petunia said and he voice was not quite so stuffy as it usually was. "Indeed, I did." "It was lovely." Severus arched a brow in surprise at the praise that came from Petunia. "Well look at that, another Christmas miracle," Lily giggled and Severus chuckled as Petunia smiled with an ever so slight blush to her pale skin.

"You will look after her, won't you?" Petunia's voice was soft yet stern and Severus nodded. "Pfft, more likely I'll look after him," Lily giggled and Severus chuckled yet again. "Flower, I believe you are right." Petunia seemed happy with the words so none of them pressed the matter further. Severus assumed the sister had spoken just between themselves about the whole thing before he arrived. He was just happy that Petunia seemed a bit more accepting and the fact that Lily had asked him to go out with her.

"Well, I should get going." Petunia stood as she spoke. "Already?" Lily pouted and Petunia gave a tense smile. "We'll see each other in a few days for Christmas." Lily nodded at that and Petunia's gaze drifted over to Severus. "You are welcome too," she said, "if you want. But there will only be muggles there so no magic." Severus nodded. "It would be a delight," he said and he actually meant the words. No, he did not fancy Petunia, or her large husband Vernon and the spoiled child of theirs, but he was happy to have been invited. Happy to have been somewhat accepted as Christmas was a rather huge event in the muggle world.

"I will see you both promptly at eleven then," Petunia said as she walked towards the hallway. Both Severus and Lily followed. "Yes, Tuni," Lily said with a smile, "promptly at eleven." "Anything we should bring?" Severus asked and Petunia pondered for a moment as she took her coat, hat, gloves and scarf. "That bread was quite lovely," she said and Severus smiled with a nod. "I will bring some freshly baked. Have a safe trip," Severus said and left the sister to say their goodbyes in private.

A few moments later the door closed and Severus drank the last of the fire whiskey as Lily stepped into the living room again. She curled up on the couch and looked at him. He looked right back at her. "So, nothing to say?" she asked and he felt as though she was trying to get at something specific. "No, I do not believe so," Severus said with a raised brow. Lily sighed and shook her head. "Nothing at all?" "No?"

It took a moment of silence. Severus turned deathly pale. His back was stiff as a rod. His hands were slightly damp with sweat and his heart pounded so harshly in the confinement of his chest that he feared it might have popped out if it could have done so. She's in love with me, was the only thought that crossed his mind.

"You love me?" he asked. His voice was so low and shaky, it was nearly audible. Lily beamed at him. "I do," she said with a small nod. She didn't move as Severus seemed to rearrange something. The world perhaps. "But, that can't be right?" "Oh, why ever not?" "Because I'm-" "The most handsome and loving man I have ever met? True." Lily's words came so fast he had no time to speak. "The most brilliant and most gentle man I have ever met? Also true." She waltzed over to him as she continued to speak loving words of adoration and for every syllable that left her lips, he felt something in his chest expand.

"Severus, you always look down on yourself. Why can't you just see how wonderful you are and let me love you?" Lily asked as she sat down in his lap and laid her hands on his shoulders as his arms instinctively wrapped around her. "I love you," he whispered softly and she smiled as her fingers caressed his jaw. "I love you too." Her lips graced his cheek tenderly.

"What do you say about skipping the whole dating ordeal and just love each other?" Severus swallowed yet nodded at her words. "Flower," he murmured and as some sort of courage surged threw him he kissed her soft lips tenderly as her hands cradled his face and his arms pressed her towards him. The smell of Christmas food and her filled his nose and he loved every moment of time she gave him. Just as he loved her lips on his. Christmas miracle indeed...

So this turned out to be a long fic but I just couldn't stop myself. I'm not good at short stuff and I felt this had the potential to be "dragged out a bit" so to speak. Lily is not a character I enjoy shipping with Severus personally BUT this was fun to write and I love to take creative liberty with characters like this. Make love where there is supposed to be hate according to canon.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one and that it was up to scratch both as a Snapemas fic and a request despite my rather poor skills in writing fluffy stuff xD ^^

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // SNAPEMAS POST

Tags: @lizlil​ @snapefiction​ Want to be tagged? 💚 You can tag yourself HERE! Or tell me and I’ll gladly tag you! 😍

[Dec:2020]

[danyka-fendyr]

Absence of Good

Chapter 1: Masquerade

Okay so I’ve been talking about starting a Spencer Reid fic for 8 million years and now I’m finally going to do it. So anyway...ya’ll better reblog this and leave nice comments if you want the second part that I will write regardless of whether anyone validates me or not because this is half for myself. Don’t judge you know you’re in the same boat. Anyway, enjoy. Or don’t I can’t make you love me.

Permanent Taglist: @rhabakoli @dreamwritesimagines

Warnings: Extremely graphic gore, descriptions of murder, disturbing themes

Wordcount: 3234

“When people see some things as beautiful, other things become ugly. When people see some things as good, other things become bad.”

-Lao Tzu

The most intimidating part of a job was always the first day. You didn’t know anybody, you didn’t really know what you were doing, and you were still a little bit convinced that your boss was judging your every move and kind of hated you. The fact that Aaron Hotchner had not once smiled during your interview did nothing to assuage that fear.

However, here you were, in the elevator at Quantico, with a tray full of coffee, balancing a million creamers and even more sugar, because you weren’t sure what everyone liked but you were trying to win them all over with bribery anyway. A lovely day, truly.

You had wanted this job in the BAU for years. You were morbidly interested in serial killers ever since you were young, and fascinated with catching them. To most people it was...offputting, to say the least. People don’t really warm up to the girl who thinks that announcing how many people Gary Ridgeway killed is a good ice breaker. 49 confirmed, 71 claimed, by the way.

So naturally, you figured you should go somewhere your talents would be better appreciated. Unfortunately, every half-wit piece of muscle in the FBI wanted to be in the BAU, so it had taken you several years to get to where you were today. Frankly, you thought you should have been here much sooner, but it was a rigorous process, and so you had to wait until you were well into your 20′s. But hey, not like you were getting any younger over here, right? 

Okay, so you were bitter. What else is new?

Your first few seconds in the bullpen were utterly terrifying for the simple fact that nobody noticed you were there. This was not...how do you say...uncommon, for you. However, it was exceptionally awkward. Did you speak up? Did you just wait until someone noticed you trying to juggle too many coffees and so much sugar you could fill a bathtub with it because that’s how you liked your coffee? Fortunately, you didn’t have to decide.

“Agent Y/L/N,” SSA Hotchner said. “I see you brought coffee.”

That was almost a smile. You knew the coffee was a good idea.

“Oh, uh...yeah. I figured, first day, right? First impressions and everything.” You started unloading your coffee when Hotchner gestured you towards a vacant desk waiting for you. “I hope nobody minds the ridiculous amount of sugar. I just didn’t know how you guys take your coffee, and I like my sugar with a side of coffee you know, so...”

You stood back, swaying awkwardly on your stilettos a little bit and trying not to let your body language cave in on itself like you wanted to. To help with your anxiety, you noticed upon turning around that everyone had swiftly crowded around you. Awkward.

“Ha, you sound like our boy genius. He puts so much sugar in his coffee it’s barely recognizable anymore.” A tall, incredibly fit black man chuckled. “I’m Morgan, by the way, but my friends call me chocolate thunder.” 

He winked. Uh...okay. Somebody swooped in to save you from that though.

“Ignore him. I’m Jennifer but everyone just calls me JJ and the coffee was a lovely gesture.” The stunning blonde leaned forward to shake your hand, but not before cutting Morgan a glare.

“Emily Prentiss.” The dark-haired, serious-looking woman gave you a smile as she shook your hand.

“SSA Rossi, pleased to meet you.” The older Italian man gave you a little smile as he shook your hand.

The truth was you already knew a little about all of them, having read through their personnel files before starting this job. Which meant you were prepared when Dr. Spencer Reid began his introduction.

“Hi, I’m-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you were already pulling hand sanitizer out of your purse and applying some of it, stopping him dead in his tracks with confusion.

“Dr. Spencer Reid. Your reputation precedes you.” Now you were in your element, a little smirk on your face and a twinkle in your eye.

Stunned, he reached forward to take your hand even as he said, “You know, hand sanitizer actually only kills-”

“Spencer, please,” JJ interrupted teasingly. “Not yet. We want to keep this one.”

You laughed, already finding it easy to fit in with this crowd. “Oh, don’t worry about it. It would take a lot more than that to scare me away.”

You winked at him, and he blushed. Oh, you were going to have fun with this one. He was cute and smart, the whole package. You’d be damned if you weren’t already a little smitten.

“Oh, there’s a new person!” A cute blonde with absolutely wild style stopped dead in her tracks, surprised to see you. “You’re the new!”

“I’m the new,” You confirmed.

“Oh, hello! I’m Penelope, and unfortunately, I come bearing bad news.”

“There’s a case baby girl?” Agent Morgan spoke up.

“Right as always my sweet, sweet Chocolate Thunder.” Ah. So that was what that was about.

Heading into the briefing room, you and Reid ended up trailing a bit behind, causing you to lean into him to whisper. “Are they a couple?”

He laughed a little bit. “No. Just best friends. That’s just how they communicate.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Nice. I like it.”

“Yeah?” He smiled.

“Yep.”

Before you got the chance to say anything more though, you were officially being briefed. You absolutely couldn’t afford to talk during your very first briefing, so you just smiled at the handsome brunet before giving all of your attention to one Penelope Garcia.

“Alright crime fighters, brace yourselves because this is a bad one, even for our standards. The images I am about to show you are to be viewed with caution and it is not advised you continue on if you are pregnant, have a heart condition or are prone to seizures. I’m going to hit the button now and one of you is going to tell me when I can look again.”

True to her word, Garcia clicked a button on the remote and then shielded her eyes. You could see why. The images on the screen were absolutely brutal. They were women, or at least you were pretty sure they were women, who had had their eyes, noses, and mouths removed. Three of them, one after the other. You liked to think you had a pretty strong stomach, but this...this was giving you the heeby jeebies. All the Scary Mary R.L. Stein nightmares you had as a kid were coming right on back now.

“That’s...really something,” You breathed quietly.

“No kidding.” You were validated in your disgust by Agent Morgan, who looked just as perturbed.

“It gets worse, kiddies,” Garcia spoke, eyes still closed. “Their limbs were all cut off, but those were left at the crime scene. The missing facial bits though, and I deeply, deeply regret having to say this, were nowhere to be found.”

“Trophies,” Rossi said.

“Most likely,” Reid agreed from where he sat next to you. “Most enucleators take the eyes as trophies, and while it’s highly unusual for other facial features to be removed, it seems logical to assume that these would also be taken as trophies, especially given the complete disregard for the rest of the body.”

Garcia hit another button, causing different, less horrifying images to come up.

“Can I look now?”

“You can look baby girl,” Morgan reassured her.

“Oh thank goodness. You know I hate that part.” Garcia continued with the case briefing, letting you know exactly where you would be flying to.

“We’ve already made contact with the Miami police department. They’ll be ready for us when we arrive. Wheel’s up in 30,” Hotch instructed.

“Okay, so the victims,” you said, wanting to voice what was on your mind. “The taking of the eyes, nose, and lips is all extremely personal. But the cutting off of the limbs and then just leaving them there says quite the opposite. Like...there’s this loathing of the body but an obsession with the face.”

JJ nodded. “Agreed. It’s oddly matter of fact too. Very business-like. Look at these cuts,” she said, pointing to the photos. “Aside from the first victim, who’s a little rougher, these are clean, precise chops. Just get it done and over with. But the face, there’s detail there.”

“Agreed,” Rossi said. “Look at those cuts. Not a single piece is missing. It’s absolutely vital to this guy that he get the whole package. The eyes are perfectly severed from the ocular nerve, a clean removal, almost surgical in precision. And the nose...he had to cut through a lot of cartilage to get that kind of clean, flat removal. Our guy has to have some kind of history in the medical field.”

“It’s likely that they symbolize a depersonalization for him,” Reid said, hands bunching as he spoke. “The taking of all of the distinguishing features of the face indicates a sense of ownership. It’s as if he’s saying, ‘Look, I’ve taken who you are. Who people know you as.’ Some believe that the Ancient Greeks used masks in their plays to cause the viewers to focus on the character’s actions, rather than their appearance. All of our victims were relatively low risk. It could be our unsub sees these women as wearing masks, but he doesn’t like the actions that correspond with the face they choose to wear, or he believes their actions do not correspond with their mask and therefore they do not deserve to wear it. This taking of the self, of the soul if you will, could be symbolic of a dissatisfaction with how these women present themselves and how that conflicts with the unsub’s view of them.”

The rest of the team did not seem nearly impressed enough by this. You, for one, were awestruck. You had read about him, of course, but that was nothing compared to the real thing. He was beautiful.

“Okay, so we’re assuming that our guy probably knows his victims,” Morgan said.

“It would make sense. It makes it easier to get close to such low-risk targets if he does know them,” you said.

“You have a point,” Rossi said.

“Alright, well, first we need to determine whether or not our unsub is in the medical field or not. Y/L/N, Reid, head to the M.E.’s and find out what you can about the bodies. Morgan and Prentiss, you’ll head to where they found the last body, and...” Hotch continued dolling out assignments, and before you knew it, you were there.

“The media are already calling him the Face Thief,” the Miami PD chief told Hotch.

“Oh, that’s original,” you grumbled.

“Well, it does its job. People around here are terrified. This is like something straight out of everyone’s worst nightmares.”

Hotch nodded. “Well, don’t worry. My team and I plan on catching this guy as quickly as we can.”

Speaking of which, you and Reid needed to go talk to their M.E. Now, what did a girl have to do to get a dead body around here?

Spencer seemed to know his way around pretty well, probably having memorized the layout of the police station on the plane or something, and so you followed his lead.

“I take it you know where we’re going?”

“Yeah. Been here a few times before,” he said.

“Have you ever seen anything like this?”

He paused in the hallway. “No. This is some pretty intense stuff. And while I can’t exactly say it’s not like this all the time, well...”

“It’s not like this all the time,” you finished for him.

“Yeah, exactly.” He laughed a little bit. “So, you’re kind of young to be in the BAU already.”

It wasn’t a rude question. From anyone else, it might have been, but you could tell he was just curious. Plus you happened to know he was a child prodigy, and therefore was in no place to judge.

“Yeah, well, don’t make any mistakes. It took me forever and a day to get here. I just skipped a couple years of high school, fast-tracked my college education, that’s all.”

Spencer nodded. “I read your file. You finished your Bachelor’s in a year and a half, joined the FBI at 19 and gained your doctorate while working for the bureau. That’s pretty impressive.”

You smiled wryly. “Oh, you can’t fool me Dr. Reid. I’ve read your file too, you know. Now you, you are quite impressive.”

The man before you blushed beet red, stammering out something that sounded like the beginnings of an excuse, but fortunately for him you both found yourself in the presence of the M.E. before he had to come up with anything more than, “Well, I don’t know I-I mean-”

“Dr. Reid. Dr. Y/L/N. Let’s get right to it. This guy does some neat work, but he’s no doctor.”

“Really?” You asked, fascinated.

“Yep. Look at these cuts here around the mouth. They’re jagged. There are hesitation marks. Not because of inexperience with the action, but lack of expertise. You can see the same marks around the nose and eyes. And, I’m sorry to say, all of this was done anti-mortem, which did not make his job any easier.”

“He’s a sadist, then,” you deduced. “He gets off on their pain.”

The M.E. nodded before continuing.

“He started with the eyes, which I hate to admit is smart since those are the easiest part to remove wholesale, which seems to be this guy's trademark. After that, the victim usually passes out and dies from blood loss, which makes the rest of his job easier. But if you look closely you can see these aren’t surgical cuts. The only precision here stems from a purely obsessive desire to get things right. It’s good work for an amateur, but it’s just that, amateur,” she said.

“And the limbs?” Dr. Reid asked.

“Well, I can tell you a little bit more about those, since we still have them. They were cut off post-mortem, and it was a pretty quick job. It looks like it was done with some sort of power tool. There’s no beauty to those, and there’s no attempt to make it look pretty. And yes, the torsos do show signs of sexual assault. Additionally, it looks like he knocked his victims out first to incapacitate them before taking them to a secondary location and waiting for them to regain consciousness before beginning his..process.”

“I guess we can tick the sexual box in the sexual sadist checklist.” You sighed.

Reid nodded, leaning forward to more closely examine the nature of the cuts and the body.

“Okay,” you said, thinking out loud. “I’m the victim. You’ve got me tied up and you’re about to remove my eyes. I’m doing a lot of screaming. You scoop my eyes out. Here’s what I’m wondering. Why not start with the nose? If he’s a sadist, wouldn’t he want to like...see the look in their eyes or something sick like that?”

Spencer hummed thoughtfully. “It’s possible it’s an act of remorse, but that seems unlikely given the other details of this case.”

You thanked the M.E. before heading back out, but you stopped Reid in the hallway.

“Okay, indulge me. Let’s play this out. You’re the unsub and I’m the victim,” you said, leaning up against the wall and gesturing for him to get all in your business. “Okay, so you’re looking at me, and what are you thinking.”

Spencer stared at you, and you thought you caught the sharp bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, but you brushed it aside. He took a step closer, fingers brushing across your cheekbones as he stared at you thoughtfully. For your part, you tried not to let your heart race, because you had sincerely not thought about how attractive the good doctor was before signing up for this experience.

“You’re right,” he murmured. “The eyes are the most expressive. But...maybe that’s what he values about them. They’re so beautiful.”

It was your turn to swallow hard. That felt deliciously personal, but you were trying not to read too much into it. His brow furrowed, expression changing.

“Maybe that’s it. This is more about the eyes than the whole face. The eyes take precedent because, if he’s removing the face to capture their essence somehow, what are eyes said to be the window to?”

You grinned. “The soul.”

“Exactly.” He smiled back at you, and you must have forgotten to put a dryer sheet in with your laundry because you swear you felt static electricity crackling up your spine.

For a long moment, neither of you moved, but then you snapped out of it. 

“We have to go tell Hotch!”

It was true that the eyes were the window to the soul, and they were the window to this guy’s soul too. Garcia had gone on the prowl for medical school rejects, people who watched too many YouTube videos about surgery without being nursing majors, and otherwise normal folks who just owned way, way too many scalpels. Before you knew it, you had a prime suspect. And uh, tip? If you ever decide to be a serial killer, try not to kill the people you openly have vendettas against. It makes you really easy to catch. So actually, you know what, go for it.

“I can’t believe this guy ran a whole blog based off of the people in his neighborhood he hates,” you said.

“A whole blog positively riddled with face fetishizing symbolism. This guy could go on for weeks about the masks people wear and how our eyes show who we truly are and blah blah blah,” Emily mocked.

You were in the car on the way to his address. Another girl had been reported missing, and you were praying you wouldn’t be too late to find her. 

As it turned out, you weren’t. In a stroke of good luck, you arrived just in time to save the day. You and Spencer ended up going in together, Spencer taking the lead in talking this guy down. You couldn’t help but admire the way he did it. It was like art, watching him. The careful way he played right into the fantasy, eased the unsub into trusting him. Masterful, right up until the moment he cuffed the guy and the show was over.

On the plane ride back to Quantico, you found yourself sitting next to him. “How do you do it?” 

“Do what?” He asked, confused.

“Play into their fantasies so well. Doesn’t that...I don’t know, mess with your head?”

He became quiet for a moment, and his face fell. You worried that you had said the wrong thing. Crossed a line.

“Yeah. It uh...it takes a toll on you, definitely. Some days, working this job, you’ll be afraid of your own mind,” he admitted quietly.

You didn’t totally know why you leaned into his side on the small couch, other than sheer sympathy. You didn’t totally know why he let you.

“Spenc-Reid,” you corrected yourself. “Do you think the people we deal with are evil? Do you think they ever stood a chance?”

“I ask myself that question a lot,” he said softly. “So many of the people we see behave the way they do as a result of trauma of some kind. That doesn’t excuse their actions by any means, but...it makes you wonder. What if things had been different? How many more people would be alive today? How many more brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons? It’s a ruthless cycle. And all because someone didn’t have anything good in their life, and so they passed that down to someone else. So...I don’t know.”

“Do you think it’s better not to think about it?”

“No. I think it’s important for our jobs to at least try to understand. Besides, it’s human nature to try to make sense of things. Even when it’s hard.” He stared at his hands, head hung low.

“You should get some sleep. Clear your head,” you said gently. “I’ll wake you up before we land.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Just as he settled in, he lifted his head one more time to speak to you. “Y/L/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Great work today.”

“Thanks, Reid. You too.”

Dr. Reid was smiling when he fell asleep.

“Darkness is the absence of light: when there is no light, there is darkness. Light is an existing thing, but darkness is nonexistent.”

- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

[iamkatehardy]

Which Tom Hardy character would be more likely to spoil the hell out of u with gifts and stuff on a special day like your birthday or anniversary?

Any gangster boy who’s madly in love with you! I mean, I can picture Eames spreading petals all over your bed on a special occasion, but this spoiling thing sounds to me a lot like Reggie,to be honest!

————————————————————————————————

Birthdays:you get cake, you get presents, you blow out the candles, and spend time with your loved ones… Most people are excited about them, but not you; in fact, every year these celebrations became less exciting, from your point of view. You thought your existence could be celebrated any day, no special dates or obligations needed.

Reggie knew you hated them, but it wouldn’t stop him from giving you the birthday he thought you deserved, just made him be more thoughtful about how to do it.

Your birthday was probably the only day of the year when you were pretty grumpy; before you even opened your eyes you let out a loud sigh, and your hand immediately searched for Reggie on his side of the bed, but it was empty. You opened just one eye at first, then the other, looking for your boyfriend; all you wanted for your birthday was his kiss in the morning.

“Reg?” – You drowsily called, while rubbing your eyes. No answer.

Sitting upright on the bed, you tilted your head, trying to check if he was in the bathroom, getting ready to go out. He wasn’t there either. You cursed under your breath while dressing your robe and headed for the kitchen for breakfast; only coffee could make you feel less miserable in the mornings.

Looking outside the window, you saw his car arriving. You immediately walked to the front door, with your cup of coffee in hand, to greet him. Leaning against the door frame, you smiled, as he majestically walked towards you. Such a magnanimous man… Sometimes you wondered what had you done to deserve him.

“Good mornin’ Sunshine, I thought you’d still be sleeping when I came back…” – He hadn’teven walked all the front steps when he pulled you into his arms, caressing your lips with his in a warm wet kiss.

“Now yes, it’s a good morning…” - Coyly playing with the collar of his shirt, you pulled him for another kiss. – “Where were you?”

“Business, sweetie… Now let’s get inside before you get a cold, shall we?” – He seductively bit your lower lip, as he squeezed your buttocks lightly.

He closed the door behind him, and unbuttoned his shirt, loosening the collar.

“Would you like some coffee? Or are you hungry for other hot things?” – You put your emptycup on the counter and sit on it.

Reggie glanced up to the ceiling, taking a deep breath, as drew his lower lip betweenhis teeth.

“I am hungry for other hot things! But I’llhave to leave in a minute, so I guess coffee will have to do… I’ll keep your offer in mind, though. I might take it latter. I will.” – Trapping you between him and the counter, he slid his firmhands up your naked thighs, while nibbling your ear.

“Aww…”– You pouted, growling lowly.

“Don’t gimme that look, missy, that’s dirty pool.” – He giggled, frowning and squeezing your leg.

“Ok…” – You pouted again.

“Listen, I’ll be busy on the club today… I’m sending Ron to pick you up , and we meet there, what do you say?”

“I really don’t feel like…” – Before you could finish, his  lips gently brushed yours, shutting you up.

“Yes, or yes?” – Laying his forehead on yours, he looked into your eyes.

“Fiiiine!” – Rolling your eyes, you pulled him playfully.

Shortly after, Reggie left again.

He was always busy, but did he actually forget your birthday? You wouldn’t mind if anyone else would, but not him. You’d be pouty for the rest of the week… Or the month, maybe.

Since it was your day, you decided to doll up, for yourself and for your man. At nightfall, your pampering session was interrupted by a loud knock on the door; it had to be Mr. Impatient Kray. After putting your shoes on, you sat in from of the mirror, gracefully sliding your lipstick across your lips; the bright scarlet made your lips look double in size, and pretty dainty.  

You heard another loud knock.

“I’m going, I’m going!”

The knock didn’t stop until you opened the door, coming across Ron.

“Happy Birthday sister-in-law!” – He gave you a bouquet of delicate tulips. You couldn’t help but smiling; Ron wasn’t the most affectionate creature on Earth, so this was a really nice gesture from him, though he most likely ripped the tulips from your front garden.

How was this possible? Even Ron remembered, and Reggie didn’t?

“Thank you, Ron, I’m just going to put these on water, just a second, ok?” – You rubbed hisarm gently, before going to put the flowers on a vase on the kitchen. – “I’m ready now!”

Ron offered you his arm, escorting you to the car, and opening the door to you. It was almost too good to be Ron’s idea. When you got to the club,  Ron honked a couple times, and Reggie came to the door.

“Thank you for picking up my Queen, I take it from here, Ron!” – Reggie opened the door for you, extending his hand to help you out, and holding it until you entered the club.

One of the guys from the staff brought an enormous bouquet of red roses, which Reggie delivered to you.

“One for each of my love’s springs…. Happy Birthday, sweetie.” – He kissed your forehead tenderly.

“Aw, Reggie…”- You fought your tears, of happiness because of his gesture, and of guilt for almost believing he forgot about it.

“I didn’t forget about your birthday, I couldn’t. I just wanted to make you a surprise, come!” – He held your hand, sitting on a front row table with you.

Two staff members brought a cake with your name on it and the candles for you to blow,putting it over the table as your favorite artists sang a jazzy version of Happy Birthday to you.

You were completely and utterly smitten for Reggie; he had it all figured out, sweeping you of your feet every single time, and making the whole world go away.  

After everybody cheered and celebrated the First Lady of East End’s birthday, the show went on.

“Can I have this dance?”

“I’m not sure, a certain gentleman just made me week on my knees and I don’t know if Ican!”

“ I’ll be there to hold you the whole time, love.” – He rubbed his nose on yours. – “Butbefore that…” – He took a velvet box in his hands, opening it to reveal a stunning diamond necklace, made of more extraordinary rocks than you could even count.

“Reggie” –Your hands covered our mouth. – “I can’t even…”

“I know,they don’t shine as bright as you… But I thought they’d match your exquisite beauty.” - He put your hair aside, putting the necklace on you, as he kissed your shoulder gently.

You looked down, shaking your head slowly.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?

“Every little thing… You blink, and you smile, and you breath…” – He got up giggling, taking your hand and leading you to the dancefloor.

You laid your head on his shoulder, as the bland played your song and Reggie guided your steps in a slow dance.

“ I love you…”

“And I love you, (Y/N)… Every time I wake up, I’m more certain of that.”

After a long night or partying, your feet were killing you, and Reggie carried you to the car.

“I can walk!”

“And I need to practice for our marriage, no?” – He put you on your sit and planted a kiss on your lips, before driving away.

“Where are we going, Reginald?”

“Home, love!”

“Home?! How much have you actually drank? I’m pretty sure home is that way, not this way.”

“That’s the old home, sweetie…” – He smirked.

After a good 15 minute drive, he stopped the car. The house ahead of you looked almost like a castle. You just looked at him in silence.

“I bet you’re sick of hearing Ron’s orgies… And it’s time to think about the future… Our future. What do you tell me about going inside, and I take the offer you made me in the morning…”

You were actually looking forward for the future with Reggie. Sighing happily, you leaned against him and kissed him passionately.

“That sounds amazing…” – You smiled between kisses, and things started to get heated before you even left the car.

[itsallavengers]

“Liar, Liar, Pants on-”  “Oh shut up, Harley.”

Tony bit his nails as he dialled, and then when he put the phone up to his ear a second later, he briefly wondered to himself why this was the level he’d somehow managed to stoop to.

Oh yeah. It was because he was a panic-ridden infatuated idiot who didn’t know when it was time to stop running his mouth.

God, how he wished he could just dial back the clock and erase the morning from existence. Well- maybe not the part where he’d bumped into Steve in the corridor and got to meet his amazing son for the first time- just the part where he’d decided to go and make up the most bald-faced lie in the history of bald-faced lies just so that he would have something to talk to Steve about.

It was because of the stupid ‘take your child to work week’ thing. Why had he decided to give that the go-ahead again? It was stupid, the workplace was for adults, not... not-adults. God, why couldn’t he have just made it a 24-hour thing like every other company did- he wouldn’t be in the Goddamned mess if it had only been one day.

The phone beeped five times before going to voicemail, and Tony groaned. Yes, he could just try again in a few hours, but still. He wanted a solution now, or he was going to have to move out of the country and never be seen again.

Stupid Steve. Stupid Steve who had just started working in advertising a few weeks ago and who Tony had been absolutely smitten with since the first glance. Stupid Steve who turned Tony into some bumbling fool whenever he walked into a room. Stupid Steve with his even more stupid son who was absolutely adorable and not at all stupid and who Tony had already fallen in love with because he was the stupidest of them all.

Man, that was a lot of stupid’s. He needed to calm down. Relax. It was all going to work itself out.

And it wasn’t like this was going to risk anything- he and Steve barely even spoke. Tony was the boss and Steve was just some employee that he’d had a grand total of four conversations with (five, if he counted the time one week six days and about thirty minutes ago when he’d bumped into Steve in the corridor and then they’d both apologized to one another). They weren’t friends or anything. He was just being ridiculous. 

God, he really hoped he hadn’t blown it. 

Luckily, not a moment after that quiet little plead with the universe, his phone rang. Thanking his lucky stars and sighing in relief, he jerked forward and picked it up off the desk, hurriedly ramming it up to his ear.

“I’m sat hiding in a dirty school toilet cubicle for this, so it better be good,” Harley hissed down the line at him, before adding “and if it’s some new invention of yours, I want at least 10% of your earnings for my contribution.”

“What? No.” Tony squinted and ran a hand over his face, “A) skipping class to answer a phone call does not justify 10% cut of the profit, and B) it’s not even an invention.”

“Then what is it?”

“Uh, well basically you’re my son now.”

There was a short silence. Then a sigh. “I mean, I’m game, but why?”

Tony rubbed his hand over his forehead again. God, this was a mess. “Because I accidentally told someone I had a son in order to make them think I was a mature and vaguely competent adult and also like me more, except he said he’d love to meet him and he was all smiley and looked so happy about it and so I was like ‘yeah, sure, I might bring him into work tomorrow seeing as it’s Take Your Child To Work week for some stupid reason’ and then he just nodded and arranged to meet me at lunch, and it was the first time we’d ever actually arranged to officially meet up anywhere and so I jumped on that chance because I temporarily sort of forgot I don’t actually have a son-” Tony took in a deep breath and finally paused, resisting the urge to just plant his face into the pile of paperwork and hit his head against it until he ended up in some sort of coma. It would be better than having to deal with the consequences of this.

Harley didn’t speak for a while, obviously trying to work through the vast array of garbage that Tony had just handed him. “I’m twelve,” he said in the end.

“Yeah, so?”

“Shouldn’t you be teaching me not to lie, and to definitely not try and overcome the lie by just piling on even more lies onto the original lie-”

“Well I’m not an actual parent, am I, dumbass,” Tony said snappily, “and if I want to lie about my fictional son in order to score a date with the hot guy in IT then I damn well will.”

There was a long silence, and then a dramatic sigh. “I’m not sure I can condone this on morality grounds-”

“I’ll give you fifty bucks.”

“Sure okay, what do I have to do?”

Tony swivelled on his chair, looking out of the huge glass windows and sighing. “I don’t know- pretend your last name is Stark, that I’ve been carefully shielding you from the limelight for years but you’re still an amazingly developed kid who is a true representation of me and a shining example of how much of a mature adult I am?”

“Uh, sure, I can do that. Harley Stark, yeah? My mom can be estranged and I’ve been secretly trying to find her my whole life, but just never told you because I fear what it would do to the family dynamic if I introduce my mysterious and slightly unstable mother into the picture,” Harley reeled off immediately, jumping into the adventure with his usual blind enthusiasm, “oh, and I’m part robot because of a laboratory accident-”

“Yeah, sounds great,” Tony told him absently, “I’ll pick you up at eight tomorrow. Don’t talk about the robot part to him though, people generally don’t respond well to being told a child is part-cyborg.”

“But-”

“See you tomorrow, kid!” Tony ended the call quickly before the menace could say anything more, and then flopped back onto the chair tiredly.

His mind wandered back to Steve- the soft smile he’d been wearing as he introduced Tony to his son, quickly turning to mild horror when said son had shaken Tony’s hand and then blurted ‘you must be frickin’ loaded’. The little squeal that had fallen from Steve’s mouth in that moment was something Tony wanted to remember for ever and ever.

Of course, he’d just laughed- he liked people with character, and it certainly seemed Peter was bursting full of it. And it had resulted in a truly adorable blush spreading across Steve’s cheeks, so there really was nothing to be offended over. The man had shoulders sculpted like a Greek God’s, and yet he was softer than a damned teddy-bear. Tony just wanted to...

Well. There were a lot of things he wanted to do. Most of them weren’t very tasteful.

He sighed for the millionth time, wondering how on earth he was going to swing this. What if Steve wanted to meet for a second date? A third? What if Steve wanted to be in a relationship with him? God, Tony had wished for this for so long; he’d spent more time down in advertising in the weeks of Steve’s employment than he probably had in his entire career. He’d showered every damned day, just in case they bumped into eachother- even when he’d been spending hours and hours in his workshop and he’d been exhausted, he’d still gone and cleaned himself up, just on the off-chance that Steve would spot him. But now he’d gone and ruined everything by telling a stupid stupid lie about a non-existent child. Wow. Responsible adult his ass- when Steve found out about it, what the hell was he going to think? 

And this is why thou shalt not fucking lie, he thought miserably as he let his head fall once again into his hands.

“Who are you?”

“Harley Stark.”

“Where have you been for the past twelve years?”

“Living with relatives somewhere far away from the limelight, but it’s okay, because you visit me every weekend and you’re super involved in my life.”

“And why is it important that you do not fail me today?”

“Because I’ll lose fifty bucks, and I can buy a shit-ton of candy with fifty bucks.”

“What?” Tony looked at him incredulously as he swung his legs on the desk in his office and looked utterly unbothered, before just huffing and waving a hand. “Alright, fine, okay, that’s your incentive. Just remember that, okay? All that candy is at stake here, you don’t want to fuck up. Also , that reminds me- quit the potty mouth for an hour, okay?”

“What?! You seriously think I can go an hour without saying fuck?”

“Steve’s kid isn’t allowed to swear, and so neither are you. It’s called good parenting.”

Harley rolled his eyes, muttering some unsavoury things under his breath. Tony let him get it out of his system, waiting patiently until Harley huffed in annoyance and then tilted his chin back to Tony. “Fine. But I want an extra ten bucks for psychological damages.”

“Oh, so holding back on foul words that children your age shouldn’t even know is now called psychological damage, is it?” Tony asked with a raised eyebrow. When Harley just nodded solemnly, Tony inwardly asked himself why he’d ever thought this was a good idea. Harley was probably going to have bled him dry by the end of the goddamned hour. “When I was your age, I had to call my father sir. And if I swore like you did he’d have probably disowned me-”

“Do I get the ten bucks or not?”

“You’re going to bankrupt me, boy.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive, what with owning like, a quarter of America’s wealth and all.”

Tony rolled his eyes, before shuffling around in his pocket and then slamming another bill on the table. “Fine. But you better act your little ass off, let me tell you-”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Harley waved a hand and hopped off the table, checking his watch, “let’s go, he’s gonna be there soon. Hey- can I quit school and take up a permanent position as the actor who plays your son for the sake of the single dad you’re so desperate to impress?”

“Okay A) I’m not desperate, shut the hell up- and B) What would your mom say to me just stealing you away like that, huh?”

“Thank you, probably,” Harley shrugged, looking down at his shoelaces for a moment as they both wandered down the hall. Tony looked at him with a grimace for a moment, before snaking a hand around his shoulder and drawing him in tight. 

“Well, her loss,” he declared, “you will undoubtedly become a famous actor after this performance today, and then she’ll be wishing she could live the luxury life with you and your eighteen dogs.”

Harley considered this for a moment, before grinning. “17. I want a cat too.”

Tony just rolled his eyes again. “You pull this off, and I’ll buy as many fucking cats as you want, kid.”

He saw Steve, sat with his son in the canteen and smiling down at the kid fondly as he ruffled the little guy’s hair- and suddenly all his bravery deserted him.

“This is a terrible idea,” Tony blurted, hand reaching for Harley’s shoulder and halting them both, “I can’t... he’ll be able to tell I’m not- he’s a goddamned single amazing parent doing all this on his own and I’m just... I can’t fucking do this, God, what was I thinking-”

“Hey, look, we’re here now!” Harley hissed at him, grabbing his hand and squeezing, “don’t pussy out Tony, you’ve already fucked up, so you gotta just keep lying until you come out the other side now-”

“That’s not- that’s not how this works, okay, adults don’t do tha-”

“Tony!” A voice called out across the canteen and Tony’s head whipped up, fingers clutching tight to Harley’s shoulder in mild panic. 

Right. So that was Steve, waving over to him across the room. Wow, that was a... that was a big ol’ smile there. God, Tony wanted to kiss him so bad. And there- there was Peter too, waving next to his father and beaming. They looked adorable together. Holy mother of God, Tony was out of his depth here, what the damn hell was he playing at? Pretending to be anything like the sort of man Steve Rogers was, Good Lord, he was an absolute pathetic idiot-

“Hey, look, it’s Steve!” Harley jumped up and down by Tony’s side and waved, tugging Tony forward with a happy smile on his face. When he turned back to Tony for a second, his face scrunched up and he jerked his head back to Steve. “Come on man!” He whispered, “he’s seen you now, you can’t back out.”

Fuck, the kid was right. With a quick blink and an internal smack over the head, he looked to Steve and then smiled weakly. The man was in a suit- not even an expensive suit, at that- and yet he still looked so damned perfect. Neatly styled hair, sleeves rolled up his forearms- dammit, the man had glasses, and glasses were not hot, they weren’t, and yet... 

Tony had never wanted to mess someone up so badly in his entire life. It was quite frankly ridiculous, how soft he was over one stupid guy from advertising. 

He let himself be pulled forward by Harley’s hand, until his shins hit the chair and suddenly he was right in front of Steve and Peter, both of them looking up at him with identical soft little smiles on their faces. 

“Hey,” he waved an awkward hand and then sat jerkily on the chair, “uh- this is my son, Harley.”

Fluidly, Harley leaned forward and stuck out a hand. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard all about you, Mr Rogers.”

Harley held back the wince as Tony spluttered and then quickly stepped on his foot. However, it did prompt a rather delicious blush from Steve, so it wasn’t entirely terrible. “He means I’ve- I’ve, uh...” 

unable to formulate a proper excuse, Tony just huffed, tapping Harley lightly over the back of the head, “okay, busted, yeah, I may have talked about you occasionally-”

“Three times over the course of last night,” Harely butted in with a smile, and yeah, choosing him had most definitely been a terrible idea, he should’ve just hired some child actor or something, that would’ve been far less hassle.

Steve just laughed, though. Tony felt himself react spontaneously to that sound, heartbeat flittering and fluttering in response like some lovestruck teenager upon spotting their crush in the hallways. He figured right about now would be when the narration came in and the cameras panned in on Steve Rogers and his perfect face-

“It’s great meeting you, Harley,” Steve leaned over and extended a hand, shaking Harley’s warmly, “Tony had a lot of great things to say about you earlier.”

“He did, did he?” Harley turned and looked up at him smugly, and Tony held back on the urge to call him something unsavoury. He was supposed to be a good parent. He bet Steve never swore at Peter.

“Apparently you’re top of the class in math and science?” Steve parroted Tony’s words from before, which was... surprising, really, he hadn’t expected Steve to actually take it all in, “and already involved in the Stark Internship program? That’s really impressive.”

“Well,” Harley shrugged, rubbing his neck a little sheepishly, “I mean, I guess I’m just-”

“Don’t be silly, you’re not ‘just’ anything,” Steve waved a hand and rolled his eyes, leaning back on his his chair, “I have to tell Peter that all the time. Too modest, both of you. Peter can do all the sciencey stuff too, can’t you buddy?”

Peter looked up at his dad and grinned nervously. “I mean, I guess so.”

“Yeah, definitely too modest,” Tony sat gingerly on the chair and winked over at Peter, “your dad’s told me all about you as well, you know. All those ideas and designs you got in that head of yours? I could make an inventor out of you in a few years, I bet.”

Steve nudged Peter at that and wiggled his eyebrows, before pushing his glasses back up his nose a moment later. Tony just tried not to swoon.  Good God, since when had he found good parenting to be so fucking attractive?

“Harley,” he didn’t take his eyes off Steve as he poked his ‘son’ in the shoulder, “why don’t you give Peter the tour, huh? You know the way ‘round, and I bet he’d love to see everything.”

Steve turned back to him and noticed him staring, and Tony watched a little pink blush bloom across his cheeks again as he glanced down at the table and then obviously attempted to bite down on a bashful smile. 

Oh, Tony was so totally going to hit that.

In the corner of his eye, he was aware of Harley staring at him, almost certainly using the power of telepathy to try and ask Tony what the fuck he was doing, pairing him off with an 11-year-old he’d never even met before. He just glanced over for half a second, trying to convey the sentence ‘there’s an extra hundred bucks in it if you do this for me’ with only his eyes. 

Whatever face he pulled, it seemed to end up doing the trick, because Harley’s face suddenly relaxed, and he nodded happily. “Sure, I can do that!” He agreed, and Tony knew he was faking, because it was incredibly rare that much enthusiasm ever filtered into that boy’s voice. He’d been less emotive when Tony had agreed to let him into his workshop for the first time. “Come on, Peter. I know the coolest places in here!”

The little rascal grabbed Peter by the hand, beaming at him widely as he began to tug them both off. Peter seemed surprised for a second, and he looked back to his dad in confusion, but Steve’s face was soft and he just made a gesture for his son to go and have some fun. Tony watched his hands intently, because... well, they were very nice hands. Long. Elegant. Angular, like an artist’s. He really couldn’t be blamed for appreciating them. They belonged in a gallery- not that he liked the thought of just having Steve’s severed hands on display, oh God, how had his brain managed to fall down into that spiral-

“Tony?” Steve asked, leaning forward a little, and Tony’s eyes snapped back up to meet him. He swallowed down the small urge to whine at the way Steve’s fingertips were brushing his forearm to get his attention, and instead chose to smile.

“Yes, hello, back on Earth,” Tony said, zoning back in, “sorry I just-” he tapped his forehead and then laughed nervously, “it’s a big place up there. Get lost sometimes.”

Steve pushed his stupid glasses up the bridge of his nose and smiled. His fingers still rested, feather-light against Tony’s forearm. Those three points of contact felt impossibly warm. “I can imagine,” he murmured with fondness in his voice, “probably lost enough, in fact, that you forget to eat now and then, hmm? Don’t even try to deny it, Mr. Stark,” he chuckled and shook his head before Tony could even begin, “I’ve seen Miss Potts berating you for it more times than I can count. You stay here for a second, alright?”

Steve stood smoothly, and Tony watched him. “Where are you going?”

“To get you a sandwich,” Steve glanced over to the vending machine and then frowned, “and a kit-kat. That’s... that is your favourite snack from those things, right?”

Tony just blinked, watching Steve’s cheeks begin to go that adorable red shade again. “Do you watch me at vending machines, Rogers?”

“Well- I mean, I have happened to see you at vending machines, yes, but it’s not like... I’m just observant, that’s all.”

Tony smiled, shuffling in his pocket until pulling out some dollar bills. “Alright then, Mr. Observant- if they do the cookie kitkats down here, I’ll have one of those, thanks.”

But rather than take the money, Steve just pushed his hand away gently, and then... then he winked. “My treat. Don’t worry. I’ll just be a minute.”

Then he was gone. Gone like... like a perfect single-father working an Advertising job and offering to pay for kitkats for the richest man in America. And who was so gorgeous that Tony wanted to dip him in chocolate and lick every square inch off his body.

And who was under the impression that they were about to bond over their sons. Which Tony did not have.

He sighed and let his head fall against the table, groaning quietly. 

He was so monumentally screwed.

Like it? Donate to my kofi!

[virtuoussnapdragon-blog]

What else was She to do?

Chapter 1:

The Summer Job

Thomas:

We met at our job. It was the summer of 56 and I had just been certified as a lifeguard. So naturally I sought a job at the neighborhood YMCA. She had already worked there before. She had experience with the people there. I was new and therefore nervous. Eager as I was to make friends I also had a hope in the back of my mind that I might meet someone. My childhood sweetheart Janice Spence had just dumped me. As soon as I walked into the first staff meeting I knew.. that I was in love with the girl sitting next to her. Yeah, I won’t lie about it. I didn’t initially notice her, but once I did there was nothing I wouldn’t do to get to know her. The girl next to her was Melissa O’Riley. Melissa had lovely red hair was cut in a sort of bob at the neck. Her eyes were bright blue and she had a persuasive laugh- the kind you want to listen to again and again. So I made her laugh as often as I could for the first two weeks. She was obliging and I was in heaven until I realized she wasn’t funny at all herself and had little interest in anything but gossip. Within 20 minutes of speaking to her I learned more about every staff member than I could ever want to. So eventually my sights drifted and settled upon the true heroine of this story: Eva Sandoval. Eva was quick witted. And that’s all I knew about her for a long time. She wasn’t shy and she wasn’t obnoxious. When she was talking to you it seemed as if she might love you for all the courteous attention she bestowed with those entrancing brown eyes. But as soon as she walked away you felt unsure of her admiration, and doubted she had ever had any interest in you at all. She was spectacularly mysterious and I was desperate to gain a better understanding of her. Thank goodness we had the same shift or I might have never gotten to know her and my life would be drastically different than what it is now 5 months after this story begins. 

Eva: 

It was my 4th year working for the YMCA of Pendleton Springs, AZ. I had renewed my lifeguard certification again for this year because Ma kept nagging me about it. “Miha you must have a job if you wish to be anything. Learn to work now so you never struggle as I did. When your sainted Pa was taken from us I thought we would starve, but you know what I did? I walked into town and asked every shop on the street if they would hire me- I mean it! Every single store I asked! And when I reached the end of the street I had the means to a living. Ah, but it was brutal- learning to work hard takes time Miha. And I don’t want you wasting it! Go down to the class after school today and get re-certified!” She had delivered this monologue in variation after variation since I was 11. The year after my father was killed. Me and my little sister Mari listen attentively every single time but I must admit after 6 years its getting a bit old. But no matter! I went down to the pool directly after school that day and Mari tagged along. When we got there the instructor hadn’t arrived. There were a few familiar faces milling about in the water. Melissa, David, and Patsy I had worked with the past two summers. They smiled and called for me to change quickly so we could adjust to the chill of the water together. I dragged Mari from the edge of the pool, over to the changing rooms, where she had been animatedly trying to engage Melissa in conversation about how she was thinking about bobbing her hair too. For a few months now Mari has been seeking out other girls my age for advice and validation. She’s 13 years old and is desperate to be a fully-fledged teen. I asked her once why she didn’t come to me for stuff like that and she answered after thinking a minute, “You’re just different than the other girls Evie, I’ve seen you dance to the crooning of Cosby. I can’t ask you for advice after seeing that!” I actually thought it was kind of funny. But I still didn’t see why she had to talk to Melissa about it. Melissa is alright I suppose, I just don’t want Mari to become half as dull as she is. Soon we were changed and I was reviewing strokes with the rest of the gang. Sooner than I’d have liked our instructor arrived. I was expecting Mrs. Taner like every year, but was surprised to see a man striding forward in a swimsuit with a whistle slung around his neck. He seemed to be in his 30’s. I couldn’t tell for sure because I was overwhelmed by how absolutely mature he looked. So calm, so above it all, and with a dark mustache to boot! I was already smitten. “Hi,” said he with a look into the pool, “I’m here to teach the recertfication course. Am I correct in assuming you are my students?” We stared dumbfounded for a moment before Patsy spoke up, “ Where’s Mrs. Taner?” 

Melissa chimed in, “Pats didn’t you hear! Mrs. Taner is pregnant.” 

“Yes and I will be taking charge of the pool over the summer while she is unable to supervise.” The man said, “My name is Mr. Micklesby and I look forward to a great summer.” He spoke all this with energy and dropped a quick and somehow remonstrating smile. He didn’t seem to be nearly a peppy as Mrs. Taner. But I didn’t mind at all. 

Any ideas I had about finding a new job for the summer were wiped from my mind by that afternoon. Mr. Micklesby was demanding and stern and utterly charming. I never performed stronger or faster strokes than during that course. Now please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not the type to go after someone older than me. I’m not the type to go after anybody. But I did have a terrible crush and was determined to prove my proficiency and worthiness as a member of the staff. And thus my summer began. Staff meetings came and went and I adored Mr. Micklesby from atop my tall wooden chair- while of course scanning the pool responsibly. 

“Why do you think Mr. Micklesby is in charge now?” David pondered aloud after one of our shifts ended. Pendleton Springs has one of the largest pools in the state so many of us had to be on duty at a time and thus got to take breaks together while the other staff took a turn. 

“I don’t know, but he seems very qualified.” I answered trying to keep the partiality out of my voice.

Melissa came up behind us, “My mother says he was in charge of the pool in a neighboring town and wanted to be at Pendleton for the pay raise. Some say he actually saved a child from drowning once!” She finished this with an impressive look.

“As uptight as he is I can’t imagine him swimming for fun. Wonder how he got into this line of work?”, this came from Thomas the new guy. Melissa laughed appreciatively then slipped into the locker room. He gave her a satisfied smile and followed suit.

We all have lockers for our clothes and lunches while we work. That’s why my locker is my favorite sight at the end of a long shift. It means lunch and giving your eyes a rest from the monotonous task of watching people bob up and down below the surface.

Chapter 2: 

 My Father, Mr. Micklesby and that new kid Thomas.

Thomas:

So I started that summer thinking I’d actually be swimming. Wrong. It was mostly watching other people swim and telling kids to stop holding each other under the water for too long. In a word, it was boring. Luckily, I had an interesting cast of characters to entertain me. To start there was Patsy. Patsy was colorful and cheerful until she saw kids running. To watch the split second transformation from beaming benignity to the ferocious dragon of a girl who screamed across the water for the kids to halt was fascinating. She sat nearest to me so I had a front row seat. She also had a deep infatuation with bugs. Anytime I was with her she had a new fact about a different species. Not being especially keen on insects I would try to steer the conversation away from the topic. She however could relate every subject to a different bug and its behavior. The second week I worked there she was obsessed with the banana spider and she didn’t run out of “interesting” facts till Thursday. Melissa and Eva I’ve already taken time to describe so I’ll skip them. There was David. He, I got to know on breaks mostly. He was vegan and well informed. He knew everything there was to know about American history and modern politics which would have been dandy if he didn’t assume I was as knowledgable as he. I spent a good deal of time faking my way through conversations about people I had never heard of. However I stayed close to him because he at least, was talking about people instead of creepy-crawlies. He was a perfectly friendly chap till you took out your lunch. Then he would eye my roast beef sandwich with dismay and mutter to himself about the cruelty animals were subject to. And then finally my boss: Mr. Micklesby. The ridiculousness of his name extended to his looks and demeanor. He was short and mean. His dark hair was styled in a positively ancient do involving copious amounts of gel so that it looked as glazed as a donut. His feet were especially large for a man of his height but who knows maybe he’ll grow into it. But for now it rendered his walk rather absurd. I would never say all this about him if it weren’t for the fact that he obviously thought himself superior and was incredibly short tempered. Now I know that as a newbie I was bound to make mistakes, but his bursts of short cutting commentary never helped. He was even curt with the more experienced staff. So I did my best to avoid him. That is until I noticed Eva was always near him during breaks. I thought she must have been a super hard worker because she was always asking if there was anything else she cold do to help out before she went to have lunch. So despite my wariness I began to ask if I could help out as well. Mr Micklesby almost never had anything for us to do, but I would come up to him at the end of every shift because I knew Eva would be there. After days of asking for more work and being turned away we were given something to do.

“Good gracious I never saw such eager kids,” Mr. Micklesby said with a derisive snort, it didn’t appear to be a compliment, “ugh, fine why don’t you- I don’t know.. Scrub down the old paddles boards huh? I guess I’ll just assume you two will figure it out?”

“Sir, I’ve been doing this for four years. I know what to do.” Eva said with composure.

“Yeah and I’ve been breathing since birth but that doesn’t mean I know how it works,” He said with a condescending chuckle.

I had barely muttered, “What does that even me-,” when he started again.

“Look there are some wipes in the shed, just use those- I don’t want you two rubes handling anything stronger than that ok? No cleaning chemicals allowed.” 

I was surprised by how well Eva took all this. I had seen her tell off quite a few people since week one and I knew she wasn’t opposed to really letting someone have it. But she nodded her understanding and set off towards the shed. Catching up with her a few feet later I tried to make a joke, “if only his temper was as long as his feet right?” I said looking at her hopefully. She gave a quick but uninterested smile and didn’t slow her pace. I tried again, “I think it’s really cool how much you want to help. Is that just how you are or is it the job you care about?” 

She actually slowed a little when I said this and answered in the direct and confidential tone I’d soon come to know well, “ Thanks, but I only really do this job for my Ma. She makes such a big deal out of it every year. How important it is that I’m a worker and how much it means to her to see me as independent.” 

“That’s sweet. Does the job make you feel independent?”

Her eyes were on mine now as we reached the shed and started unloading the paddle boards and searching for the wipes, “It should!” She said with a merry laugh, “I’m paying rent. My ma never mentions that to me. She always says its for my betterment that I work.” Her jovial manner had slackened as she concluded.

“Wow, you.. pay the rent? That’s a big responsibility..Do your parents not work?” As soon as the words left my mouth I realized what a personal and harsh question I’d asked. How open she had been with me had lured me into a false sense of security. I didn’t know her near well enough to ask her this stuff. To my immense relief her attitude towards me didn’t change. She continued.

“My mom does. And my abuela takes in small sewing jobs. And my father is.. dead. So he doesn’t work.” She finished with a significant look. 

“I’m so sorry I-“

She cut me off placing a hand on my shoulder in an older sisterly way, “Of course you couldn’t know, you needn’t be sorry because you didn’t know him or me till now, and I didn’t mind you asking.” Her words were so unapologetic and yet she said them in a way that made me feel I hadn’t done anything to upset her opinion of me. I decided to change the subject. 

“Hey, you never really answered my question though.” I said with a tsk.

A smile returned to her eyes. “What was the question again?”

“The point of it was to determine why you’re always asking Mr. Micklesby for more work.”

She actually colored a little at this and with a sigh said, “Since you know me a bit better I don’t mind telling you I’ve got a bit of a crush,” she laughed a little and continued, “I know its silly, but it’s still my summer and I’m going to do what I like with as much of it as I can. Now, you seem like a decent guy- won’t tell anyone will you?”

As horrified as I was this new information I avowed in a joking manner to never tell a soul. I couldn’t understand it for the life of me why she could feel anything friendly towards such an absurd fellow. This hardly mattered though as we wiped down boards and chatted our break away. It was during that hour I knew she was someone I wanted to spend time with. Thankfully I think she felt the same. 

Eva:

About the fourth week of the summer I got to know New Kid Thomas. That’s what everyone called him anyhow. I first took especial notice of him when he started asking Mr. Micklesby for extra jobs at the end of our shift. Which is what I had been doing. I was greatly annoyed at first. I was just using those moments as an excuse to talk to Mr. Micklesby and attempt to guide him into a conversation with me or at least get him to compliment my work ethic! Of course New Kid Thomas made it impossible to do this any longer. With both of us badgering him he dismissed us double quick. I made a point not to encourage Thomas even when he would try to joke as we walked to the locker room. But one day when we were finally given a task I actually took time to talk with him. He has a way of making you at ease. Maybe it’s how he alternates so quickly from goofus to focused. When I talk I know he’s paying attention to what I say and making mental notes. I like feeling heard like that. With four very opinionated people in one household its hard to have the last word on anything. So I ended up sharing a lot with him. Nothing specific just the basics of who I am. He could have asked anyone at school and gossips would have mentioned most of it. But the more we talked the more I wanted to share. I even told him about my crush on Mr. Micklesby and we had a laugh about that. When we were done wiping down paddle boards I checked my watch and saw we only had 20 minutes left before break ended. 

“Lets head back and get lunch!”I suggested standing up and stretching. Sitting all day takes such a toll. 

“Yeah ok! I know it’s silly but do you wanna race back? I’m so sick of not moving.” 

“On your mark get set go!” I cried tearing away from the shed and across the lawn towards the locker rooms. He set out after me and was gaining when a piercing whistle rang out.

“Are you KIDDING me?!” Shrieked Patsy. Her eyes were wide with anger and if possible her dark curly hair seemed larger and more intimidating than it ever had before, “I spend ALL DAY telling these dratted kids not to run near the pool and look up to see my FELLOW LIFEGAURDS.. FLAGRANTLY disobeying such a SIMPLE rule?!” 

“Pats I am so so sorry,” I stammered, out of breath. Taking a few steps back I continued, “We weren’t thinking and-

“Is it gonna happen again?!” She spat.

“No way ma’am. I mean-I’m so sorry Patsy-it was my idea and-,” Thomas made to keep talking but Patsy cut him off.

“Whatever- as long as it doesn’t happen again… you both are forgiven.” She said, slowly becoming the dear and charming friend I knew and loved once more. 

Seeing Patsy in such a terrifying state always gave me chills but having it directed at me was another thing entirely! I thought I might never run again. Then a though occurred to me.

“Patsy dear what are you doing so far from the locker room? Isn’t it your break too?”

“Yeah but I was worried Micklesby was making you guys work through your break entirely. I wanted to come over and remind you two to eat something before the next shift starts.” She said in such a concerned and gentle tone you would have never known she’d just been screaming her head off.

I turned to Thomas with a laugh, “No I’ve just been getting to know the new kid. We were just heading back to grab our lunches.”

“Yes I saw.” Said Patsy with a stern glance.

“Well lets all head back now,”Thomas interjected with a worried look at Pats. “How much time do we have now?”

I checked my watch, “15 minutes and we can make it back in time if we.. walk quickly.”

So we walked at a checked but rapid pace and got our lunches out of our lockers. I watched Patsy join Melissa and David outside then followed with Thomas close on my heels. 

“What you have for lunch today?” Said Thomas seating himself between Melissa and myself.

“Eva always has the best food!”Melissa said eyeing my brown bag.

“Its true!” David interjected, “One time she let me have a bite of a tamale and I thought I’d gone to heaven!”

I smiled with more than a little pride. My abuela and ma are the best cooks in the world. Not that we eat out often or anything, but I’m pretty sure they cook better than anyone in Pendleton. “Today I have the classic chicken quesadilla.” 

“Can I try a bit?” Thomas ventured timidly. 

I thought about it for a full minute before responding, “Sure- I’ll even give you half (Melissa uttered a gasp and Patsy hmphed) If!..You give me half of your weird sandwich thing.”

Like I said we don’t eat out. Ever. As much as I love and enjoy the things my family makes me sometimes I’m in the mood for something new and can’t get it. Going to a restaurant would cost too much so I never even mention it to Ma. 

Thomas laughed, “From what I hear, you’re being more than fair. Its a roast beef sandwich. Try it!”

We switched and on everyone’s countdown took our first bites. Thomas’ eyes lit up and even I had to admit his roast beef was excellently juicy. This started a tradition that would have lasted the entire summer if things hadn’t changed so drastically for me a week later. 

It started as such a pleasant afternoon. Thomas and I were playing cards by the side of the pool during our break together. He had become very quickly a confidante. I had a great amount of faith in his judgment and soon was spilling open with the little things I hadn’t even admitted to myself I was upset about. He was soon familiar with my family stories, my worries over money and Mari. He opened up to me as well. He explained how afraid his parents had been of migrating to America from Vietnam 12 years ago when he was five. They had come because his father had been offered an excellent job which he still had today, but his mother always worried about what would become of them if he were to lose it- arguing there was no other future for them if anything should go wrong. He shared his fretting and frustration over having to go with his parents everywhere for even the simplest of things so he could translate. Our friendship was so special to me after so little time. It made work so much easier knowing we would split or lunches and talk after every agonizing shift. 

It was on a fabulous afternoon such as this when things went wrong. Out nowhere storm clouds were amassing themselves over our pool and at the first roll of thunder everyone was ordered out and told to go home until further notice. It was only 2 and our break time was just about to end. Mr. Micklesby, who I had started to care for less and less, told the staff to go home. He warned us to stick to our landlines in case he called to say the pool needed to be reopened. 

[strangeremembrances]

I saw CMBYN for the third time tonight in a tiny cinema with a beautiful HD screen. It was packed with a wonderfully silent and appreciative audience

Even as the 3rd time, it was my favourite time seeing the movie. I think it's so rare to see a movie over and over and still have it move you or make you feel so much. Normally it's that feeling of "I wish I could see this for the first time again" and I don't get that feeling AT ALL with this movie.

I think part of its charm, for me and especially as I have been a huge fan of the book for years, is that it's so long. It feels expansive and I feel so lucky and grateful that certain things are given time and space to breathe. So many movies nowadays are so fast and empty and choppy... CMBYN is slow and allows you to disappear into each scene because it plays out that little bit longer and even when the quick scene changes happen (and I ADORE them in this movie) they feel so wonderfully placed because so many of them cut RIGHT at moments you are desperate to see more of... but it's like you're only ALLOWED what you get given. There's a DEFINITE feeling of being granted insight into the lives of these people and you take what you are given and you feel GRATEFUL but then you get so much that you didn't expect. I've never felt that before with any movie I've ever seen.

I am smitten with so so so much about the movie that to go on about it would take forever but there are some moments that I think will forever take my breath away regardless of how many times I see the movie. The special thing is, is that everyone will no doubt have very different moments that they'll hold close to their heart [rest is behind a cut for spoilers]

Chemistry-wise, I mean, it's bloody hard to choose any specific moment because the whole movie is FULL of the most perfect, electric, endearing, natural chemistry with all of the characters. Elio and Marzia, Elio and his parents (supremely beautiful), Elio and Mafalda, Oliver and Mr Perlman... but as far as Elio and Oliver goes, my favourite moment is definitely the nosebleed scene. It's hands down, for me, the best mix of all that they are together. It's incredibly sweet, full of sexual tension (Elio biting that tissue... good god), so gentle and loving, funny and kind of biting with Elio's comments, tactile with Oliver's massage and Elio touching any part of Oliver he can... it's just the two of them, in a corner, caring for and wanting each other and the chemistry is off the damn charts. I smile and swoon every single time Elio says "funny witch" and laughs with the loveliest big smile and strokes at Oliver's face. It's just perfect. I always have such a strong overwhelming feeling of "these two would be so good together" when I see that scene. It's at that moment that I truly believe that, given the chance, they could be each other's world and that they'd make each other very happy. There is genuine care, affection and friendship there.

I appreciate new things each time I see it and I think this may be the last time I see it in a cinema but if I can give ANYONE any advice with this movie, especially if you're going into it looking forward to it... it's to find a HD screen, go alone and disappear into it entirely. It is one of the most gorgeous cinematic experiences I've ever had. I've cried each time, I've smiled and swooned and laughed and rolled my eyes (EVERY SINGLE TIME with Elio being petted and stroked and looked after post nose bleed by Chiara and Marzia. It's the best).

If you don't come out adoring the ground that Elio Perlman walks on, despite his mistakes, or come out proud of Marzia or desperate to crawl inside Oliver's heart and mind and understand him more or to keep him smiling like he does in the bus scene or to listen to Mrs Perlman read you fairytales for the rest of you life... then I don't know what to tell you.

Every single frame of this movie is precious to me and it's not even an over exaggeration. There are tiny tiny nuances to most scenes that are just so utterly wonderful, all I feel is gratitude. I think that's the main feeling for me. Gratitude for the talent of the people involved in making this movie in the way it is made and with the love it was clearly made with.

I don't know about you all but I could dissect it for days and still come away as bowled over by it as I was the first time I saw it. ❤️

[bughead-fic-request]

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @believe-that-you-can-my-friend work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

My tumblr account is believe-that-you-can-my-friend and anyone can find my masterlist by clicking on the menu button (the three parallel lines at the top of my sidebar) and then choosing “My Bughead Stories”. You can also find me on AO3.

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m Vera, I’m from Greece and I’m currently on the 23rd decade of my life. I’m a Classical Studies graduate and I’m considering doing a Master’s too. I’m a major foodie, a fashion and style enthusiast, an avid dancer and an old school rock lover. A quite sarcastic human being trying to make it in this world with the attitude of your average clown-friend.

3. What do you never leave home without?

Probably my phone, as true to our 21st century standards. Plus, my headphones and my sunglasses.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I’m a night owl for sure. I hate early mornings and I love sleep but I also can never go to bed before 2 or 3 am.

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

I would want to live in the Pokémon world or the Harry Potter universe but during the Marauders era. Witty and utterly smitten James Potter, rebel with a cause Sirius Black, the First Wizarding War, this is a true fantasy right there that I’ll never ever outgrow.

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?

There are a lot of Greek people that you guys, obviously, won’t know. Not many international celebrities in my resume, I’m afraid. But I briefly chatted and took a picture with Jim Chapman from YouTube while I was visiting London two years ago.

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

I enjoy a lot of different movie genres but I guess an old Hollywood one, some good old Hitchcock or anything drama are my typical choices most times. Out of the top of my head, definitely Gone with The Wind, Casablanca, Pulp Fiction, The Breakfast Club and such. As for TV shows, Lost is always first in my heart. Current favorites would be Sense8, Stranger Things, Westworld, Riverdale.

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

That’s a question that would take me pages to answer. Long story short, I’m a cultural chaos regarding music. I listen to almost everything, my Spotify has a tone of personal playlists and my vinyl collection is reaching a terrifying extend. My favorite genre is definitely classic rock but I also really love alternative rock, indie rock, and rock ‘n’ roll. On an average day, I’m usually blasting something along the lines of The 1975, then Pink Floyd, then Frank Sinatra, then Tchaikovsky, then Kanye West, then The Killers and so on and it’s a miracle that I still manage to stay a somewhat sane person.  

9. Favorite Books?

Anything Jane Austen, Bronte Sisters or Dostoyevsky can get me going. But for the level of angst and devotion and truly wicked love my favorite one is Wuthering Heights.  

10. Favorite Food?

Chicken curry with rice. I also really love shrimps.

11. Biggest pet peeve?

Probably people that chew very loudly. Or ignorant and uneducated people, not in the academic sense of the word, but ill-mannered and rude.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

For many years I wanted to be an architect. This plan though sunk because my sketching skills are equivalent of a two year old. So, I ended up studying the Classics (basically the study of the Greco-Roman world, particularly of its languages and literature, but also including philosophy, history, and archaeology.) This field and area of studies is something I very much enjoy and value but I don’t really see it as my lifetime job. What fascinates me and makes me passionate about is Journalism so I’m thinking about extending my studies in the journalistic field as well. And then of course there is writing; the ultimate dream.

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

I’m scared of wasps, only because I’m allergic to a lot of things and, seriously, I don’t wanna push my luck. Another one would be my odd phobia of getting nauseous and being sick. For some weird reason I associate vomiting with death. Other strange fears, no, nothing comes to mind. As for more fundamental ones, it’s the fear of ending up alone; loneliness is something that scares me deeply. Also, disappointing my inner perfectionist by being average or not good enough at any aspect of my life.

14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one you’d regret not doing?

Live more. I have a very composed and rational mentality, I always think first and then act and generally I’m more of an observer than a doer. I regret, for example, not being a crazier teenager or a more reckless college student or generally a little bit more “loose”. Hopefully, my introverted self will stop watching stoically life passing her by and take more chances by the time I reach that final moment, haha.  

Okay… let’s talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

Where The Wild Roses Grow – Angst is the air I breathe, enough said.

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

Up until now I used to write only Bughead prompts and one-shots so, plot wise, I can’t think of any of them causing me too much headache. I could say Fruit Punch Lips & Leather Jacket Dreams, only because of the length of the chapters and the hurricane of ideas I had in my mind. Right now I’m trying my hand at my first multi-chaptered fic for the Bughead fandom and I can definitely say that it is proving to be quite the task in terms of planning and prioritizing.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

For me, it’s mostly TV and movies. I always make parallels between plotlines and couples so a lot of ideas do come from stuff that I have seen on the big screen or during a marathon of an old show. But they also come from everyday life, I mean I could be discussing something with my best friend or doing groceries or driving and something along the way would strike me and demand from me to write it on paper.

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

I really really wanted (and still want, to be honest) to write a Dancing With The Stars Bughead fic. I know it’s crazy and totally random but the idea had stuck in my head while I was watching some dancing videos on YouTube and instantly I had everything planned; the roles, the plot, the dancing sessions, the choreographies, the drama, everything. I gave up on the idea merely because it’s quite difficult to portray such show on paper and I was afraid that the scenes in my head would turn out totally different if I attempted to write them, so I’ll treasure this story in my heart and think fondly about it whenever I listen to a song I had picked for a Bughead dance-off. But you never know; maybe my muse will be more confident about helping me give life to this idea in the future.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

I wouldn’t say it’s my least favorite but I don’t feel very confident about Heliophilia, the second chapter of Fruit Punch Lips & Leather Jacket Dreams. There are a lot of things that I like in the chapter obviously, but I find the beginning a tad cheesy and then at the part with Betty’s and Jughead’s date I believe that I just ramble on and on with no purpose whatsoever. I was very inspiration-deprived while working on that chapter so, to me at least, it feels like not my best work.

20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

Jughead raised as a Serpent in my latest fic. I like the dynamic the gang element gives to his character and I really wanted to explore it in my own little universe. It just adds another layer to his personality and diverse characters are always the most fun to work with. Also, #GirlNextDoor was very fun to write. Being in Jughead’s shoes as an accomplished writer and envisioning future Bughead in their own adult apartment had me overwhelmed with lovely feelings.

21. Favorite character to write?

Jughead, for sure. Maybe because I relate more to his quite nature or maybe it’s the fact that I appreciate the writer in him and his old soul, which are again qualities that I have too as a person. He has so much potential as a character, so many layers to peel off. Yeah, Jughead Jones is a delight for me to write.

22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?

I don’t think I have something specific in mind. If I go back and read any of my stories, I always find something that I feel pretty confident about, either that’s a sentence or a whole paragraph. I guess that’s why it takes me so long to update; I always check and double-check and reread and erase and add until I feel positive that what I’m putting out is something I’m quite satisfied to present to all of you. That and the fact that me, a Victor Hugo wannabe, doesn’t know the usage and the importance of a full stop!

23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

Every single one. Literally. The fact that somebody takes the time to write even a single “great work” means the world. Yes, the long, commentary-like reviews are always an extra delight; every author would agree on that, because, we love receiving feedback that shows the emotion and the reaction our words brought to each reader. It’s very direct and on-point. But even just a thumb’s up or an incoherent array of vowels can literally make my day!

24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

I’m one of the fortunate ones that never got any bad reviews or hate comments. I hope it stays that way because, on a good day, my confidence as a writer (and as a person in general) is beneath zero! But constructive criticism is always welcomed and wanted.

25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?

The occasional typos! They drive me nuts, I hate them and I hate myself for them. Also, I’d like to remind myself to put a damn full stop every once in a while, not only a plethora of commas in insanely long sentences!

26. What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

I was very into Spaleb (Spencer and Caleb from Pretty Little Liars) for as much as it lasted and, amongst a few other stories, I’ve written an one-shot titled The First Cup of Coffee about the four times Spencer gets the first cup of coffee in the morning and a fifth that she realizes she wants Caleb to have that privilege. Basically, it’s five snapshots of their life together and the growth of their relationship through the years and I really enjoyed writing it and generally envisioning a future about that couple. I also had a great time writing about Klaus and Caroline from The Vampire Diaries. But none of my previous fanfiction experiences amounts to the utter excitement and joy writing for Bughead fills me with.

27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

Fanfiction wise, I need a lot of catching up to do. I have so many fics that I either want to continue or start reading and so little time but I’m getting there. It’s personal at this point! As for general fiction, I’m reading Uncle Vanya by Chekhov and some various poetry.

28. Do you have an advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

Just write. Open a plain document and write. Write whatever you have in that brilliant head of yours, write what you would read if you were about to search between genres and plotlines. Don’t think about note numbers or people’s reaction; just write what your heart desires and your muse urges you too. If you enjoy what you write then, trust me, everyone is going to enjoy it too. Don’t doubt yourself and don’t try to change your style or adjust to any norms you might consider as successful. Writing is personal, a kind of identity, and it’s unique and mesmerizing so proudly present your own identity to the world. Also, be sure to support your fellow writers. We are all a team here, a group of people that enjoy the same passion, and love and recognition is always a must. So applaud your fellow Buggies and applaud yourself for everything that you put out in this fandom, either that is a 40k fic or just a fifty-word paragraph. What you write matters and it might change somebody’s day. So share it and never second-guess yourself.

[rose-of-gabriel]

Observations after seeing Rogue One a second time

Movie in General

·         HO-LY CRAP the score is absolutely amazing. I felt every single orchestral swell like it was coming from inside me. I want that to be the soundtrack of my life.

·         This movie is FUCKING GORGEOUS. They chose planets so different from one another and made each one feel real and alive.

·         There were soooooo many things going on in this film. Each character brought their own complicated baggage to the table on top of a fricking war going on. I am so impressed that they pulled it off as well as they did.

·         You can tell that the people working on this film understand the awesomeness that is Star Wars. They understand what is expected of them, even as a “spin off” movie, and they bring their A-game.

·         Diversity. Diversity. D.I.V.E.R.S.I.T.Y. It extends beyond the main six. The senators, the pilots, the soldiers all displayed a variety of ethnicities and it was BEAUTIFUL.

·         I still hate the ending but DAMN IT’S SO WELL DONE I AM CRYING AND TREMBLING WITH RAGE AS I GIVE A STANDING OVATION. I’ll be okay. That’s what fanfiction is for.

Star Wars in General

·         Fuck man it’s fucking awesome.

Characters

·         Jyn looks like she can kill you (and you know she can) but I’ll sell my left leg if she’s not a warm, sugary cinnamon roll on the inside. You see it come out any time her father is mentioned or when she faces Saw. She’s still that scared, mistrusting child the universe made her into. But then, THEN she hears about her father’s plans and HER WHOLE BEING LIGHTS UP. SHE IS SO FULL OF HOPE THE ALLIANCE CAN’T EVEN HANDLE IT. When she’s helping Cassian to the elevator and he asks if anyone’s listen she says she knows they are, somewhere. JYN IS A PRECIOUS DARLING AND MUST BE PROTECTED.

·         Cassian. Oh my God. Cassian is the beeeeeeeest. He is also a killer cinnamon roll, you just need to dig waaaaay deeper to find the doughy part inside unless you’re Jyn and you just impale him, breaking through all his walls at once and become his weakness in no time at all. You can so clearly see his inner turmoil when he has to kill his contact or when he takes aim at Galen. DO NOT get me started on when they’re imprisoned by Saw and Chirrut says something along the lines of, “You carry your cage with you all the time.” He is damaged and dark and closed off and THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? JYN MOTHER FUCKING ERSO HAPPENS. Jyn Erso turns Cassian Andor into a fricking teddy bear, an anxious, paranoid, overly protective teddy bear and I LOVE IT.

·         I want Chirrut to be my best friend. He is a cinnamon roll that jumps out of your hand, punches you in the face, and makes a snarky comment when you try to eat it. The thing that I somehow didn’t really pick up on or at least appreciate the first time round is how well he understands people. He knows Baze like an extension of himself, obviously, but same with the rest of Rogue One. He is loyal and wise and soooooo sassy and BAD ASS.

·         Baze is the dark horse, for me. I gave him the least amount of thought the first time around and now I am SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF. Baze that brooding, cynical humor that I could eat like fricking candy. He’s a human tank, but you can tell his has the biggest damn heart by the way he treats Chirrut and Jyn. Also, a line I hadn’t noticed before was, “He was once the most devoted guardian of them all.” It adds a whole ‘nother dimension to his character.

·         Bodhi is a cinnamoniest fricking cinnamon roll I have ever laid eyes on. In his first appearance on screen he’s shaking like a Chihuahua. He’s this babbling ball of nerves and he had my heart instantly. All his life he’s had to fight for something he doesn’t believe in and Galen gave him the courage to follow his heart and HE DOES. HE FINDS SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR. During the rebel meeting, I felt like a mom watching her son go off to his first day of kindergarten, worrying about whether or not he would make friends. Whoever said commented on him being an imperial pilot during the meeting, I wanted to smack his damn face. That is my baby, you are talking about. You don’t even have an inkling how kind and loyal he is. BACK OFF MY BODHI.  

·         K2 is officially my favorite droid. He has this childlike innocence about him that is so fricking charming coming from a 7ft tall robot. His protectiveness and loyalty to Cassian is so endearing and his slow acceptance of Jyn feels so genuine. I will bet you that Cassian worked extra hard on installing that sass modulator when he reprogrammed K because it has been put to good use. I would buy a K2-SO “how to sass people” guide.

Cast Members

·         Felicity Jones is a fantastic actress. Absolutely perfect for this role. I was tearing up watching her react to Galen’s message. Every movement, every facial expression, every line feels real.

·         I am officially smitten with Diego Luna. I am lost in Loveland and I don’t want a damn map. He is one sweet piece of eye candy, but even more than that, he is utterly inspiring. I’m learning a second language and seeing him onscreen with his beautiful, beautiful accent- unapologetic, proud as can be- puts a fire in my stomach to keep trying. Luna is an amazing actor, managing to portray a character as complex as Cassian honestly.

·         This film looks like it would push even the most experienced actors to their limit. Physically demanding in the most insane conditions. Remember Eadu? They were soaked to the bone! They were slipping and sliding like penguins in the rain. Acting is hard. Acting while your clothes weigh 50 extra pounds and there’s water in our eyes is nuts. this is all I could think about the entire scene