#i am half hoking of course

[magnaflourious-nerdity]

I love lan xichen and lan wangji and Jiang Yanli and Wen Ning obviously, precious children, all. but anyone who suggests there is a more ride or die bitch in the jianghu than su shi, is, I am sorry, just objectively wrong.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 1: Chapter 19

New Year’s Eve in London 2014 & early January 2015

Word count: 1.8k

SkyFire 1 MASTERLIST

In the days between Christmas and the New Year, Aurora and Harry spent many hours in the conservatory off the back of the house, watching the snow softly fall in the back garden. Harry would occasionally pull out his acoustic guitar and entertain Rori while she sketched the scene, or they would simply cuddle up under a blanket and talk. The sense of time standing still enveloped the house and allowed for the young couple to remain wrapped up in each other, revelling in the cosy winter atmosphere. On the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, Harry loaded up the car and they said goodbye to Anne and Robin before driving down to London. They arrived well after sunset and while Harry carried in their bags as soon as they arrived at his house, Aurora headed to the bathroom to shower and wash her hair to get ready for the party they were both attending later that evening. She was mostly finished, her hair washed, and legs shaved, when the glass door opened, and Harry joined her under the warm spray.

“Mind if I join?” he murmured, pressing himself against his girlfriend’s back, taking the loofa from her hand and finishing scrubbing the body wash across her stomach and back. Rori chuckled as she turned in his arms, kissing him deeply as he tipped his head under the water to wet his shoulder length curls. She pulled back from the kiss to rub shampoo into his hair, smiling happily as she recalled seeing online that the fans had been calling it his Prince Harry hair.

After they’d both rinsed off and stepped out of the shower, they wrapped themselves in large fluffy towels and Aurora set about drying and styling her hair before getting started on her make up. By the time she was finished and slipping into her skinny jeans and lacey blouse, she turned to see Harry walking out of his large walk-in closet, black skinny jeans hugging his legs and a black button up short open at the collar.

“Help me with the buttons?” Rori asked him, and he stepped forward, pushing her long curls out of the way to button up the back of her shirt. He placed a soft kiss on her bare shoulder when he finished, looking to the mirror in front of them.

“You look beautiful,” he told her softly, earning a beaming smile in return. “Car should be here soon.”

They both turned towards the door, Aurora scooping her clutch purse of the end of the bed as she passed and they made their way down the stairs to the front door, slipping on their winter coats before walking outside and climbing into the waiting uber to take them into the city.

The car dropped them off at one of the many docks along the Thames and they made their way down towards the medium sized boat waiting at the waters edge. The party onboard was already in full swing by the time the pair made it aboard and Rori found herself recognising most of the faces in the crowd, despite having never meeting most of them before. There were other singers, song-writers, producers and other behind the scenes members of the British music scene. Harry soon had a glass in his hand as they pushed through the crowd on the back deck, looking for their friends. Eventually they spotted Louis and Liam towards the back of the boat and exchanged hugs.

“Where’s Niall and Zayn at?” Rori asked as she pulled back from Liam’s arms.

“Zayn bailed to hang with Perrie and Niall’s on his way,” Liam replied.

They continued to chat, laughing as they filled each other in on the Christmas’ with their families until Niall finally arrived a little over half an hour later. The boat pushed from the wharf around 10.30 and the party was swarming on the decks as the clock neared midnight. Since she wasn’t drinking, Aurora was feeling the chill of the winter wind blowing up off the water and headed into the spacious cabin for a while to warm up, knowing she would want to go back out when the fireworks started at midnight. She was sitting on a bench seat along a long bank of windows looking out at the city sliding past on the riverbank as she slowly felt her hands warming back up when Nick Grimshaw sat down next to her.

“Hello love,” he greeted, throwing an arm around her shoulders when she returned his greeting.

“Not drinking?” he asked, noticing the half empty bottle of water next to her.

“I don’t drink,” Rori replied simply.

“Probably a good idea,” he chuckled. “I think everyone else is gonna be feeling pretty miserable tomorrow morning. Mind if I ask why?”

“My dad’s a recovering alcoholic,” Rori replied, shocked that she’d been asked given that not many people had noticed over the years that she didn’t drink, and even fewer had ever bothered to find out why. “Apparently I’m genetically predisposed to addiction, so I just decided not to tempt fate.”

“So, you’ve never had a drink?” Nick asked, not shocked, but certainly curious.

“I tried a sip of Harry’s champagne once but otherwise nope.”

“Huh,” Nick replied, sipping at his own drink and the conversation turned to other things.

Aurora was still sitting there with Nick when Harry found her half an hour later.

“There you are,” he cheered as he stumbled over to her and she could tell that while he wasn’t completely trashed yet, he was well on his way to drunk and she laughed when he fell onto her lap as he attempted to sit next to her. “Sorry love,” he drawled, sliding sideways, his leg still hoked over hers as he sat beside her, his arms wrapping around her waist, “The boats a bit rocky and I don’t think I’ve got my sea legs yet.”

“Yeah, the boats rocky,” Rori parroted sarcastically. “That’s definitely why you can’t walk straight.”

“Of course,” Harry agreed, snuggling his head against her shoulder and Rori laughed deeply, always enjoying how clingy Harry was when he was drunk. She placed soft kisses along his hairline as he hummed, and Nick excused himself to go find someone to dance with him back out on the deck. “Couldn’t find you,” Harry murmured, “got worried about you.”

“I’m sorry babe,” Rori said, rubbing her hand up and down the length of his back. “I just got a bit cold, so I came inside to warm up.”

“I could warm you up,” Harry offered, lifting his head to kiss up along her neck towards her jaw.

“That’s very sweat of you H, but I’m not having sex with you on a crowded boat,” Rori chuckled. Harry pouted and returned to leaning against her shoulder, his arms tightening around her waist instead.

“You’re such a buzzkill,” he mumbled into her skin.

“I love you too,” Rori laughed in reply. “How about we go find the boys. It’s almost midnight.”

Harry agreed and Rori quickly moved his arm around her shoulder and held on to his waist as they headed back out onto the deck. She managed to keep her tipsy boyfriend on his feet as he stumbled along and was grateful when she quickly found Louis and Niall amongst the dancing party guests.

Liam was nowhere in sight when the countdown began, a cool wind whipping through the partiers aboard the boat. Louis and Niall raised their glasses to the sky as they screamed out the count with those around them, drunkenly kissing each other on the cheek as the clock hit midnight and Harry pulled Aurora to him, kissing her deeply. The night sky lit up with the fireworks display, the colours bursting and reflecting off the surface of the Thames below them.

“Happy New Year, H,” Aurora whispered when the pulled apart. “I’ve got a good feeling about 2015.”

“Me too, love. Me too,” Harry replied, smiling broadly down at his girlfriend as the party continued on around them.

xXx

Harry and Aurora were wrapped tightly around each other in Harry’s bed, savouring the final hours before Aurora's flight when her phone started ringing on the bedside table. Harry was closer so he reached for it, passing it over and she briefly saw Marks name and face before she pressed it to her ear, her cheek still flush against Harry’s bare chest. 

“Have you been online today?” he asked.

“Hello to you too Mark,” Rori chuckles, “and no I haven’t. I’ve been a little busy.”

“Well you need to,” her agent replied. “The response to the Rascal Flatts cover you posted a few days ago is great. Everyone loved it, including Rascal Flatts.”

“I’m sorry, what now?” Rori gasped, earning a questioning look from Harry at her change in tone.

“They tweeted out a link to your video and they want to collaborate with you for their next album,” Mark explained, a smile clear in his voice as he pictured her excited expression.

“Holy shit,” Rori said. “Holy shit. Holy fucking shit Mark!” She placed the call on to speaker, opening up twitter and scrolling through her mentions until she found the one she was looking for.

>RascalFlatts: So incredible to find out that the wonderfully talented @.aurorastark covered our song Riot. You absolutely blew us away Aurora and if you ever wanted to come down to Ohio to write with us, we would love to have you. 

“I don’t even know how to process this,” Rori said, not sure if she was speaking to Harry or Mark or just speaking out loud for the sake of it. She was freaking out and started scrolling through the replies to the tweet.

>AuroraFan77: Aurora and country music was the crossover I didn’t know I was missing from my life

>RascalFlattsFan8: every pop collab they’ve done has been incredible, so I’d been keen for this @.taurenwells @.justinbieber @.natashabdnfield & now @.aurorastark

“Do you want to do it?” Mark asked when she fell silent.

“Obviously.”

“OK well I’ll reach out and see if we can lock down a time for you to fly to Ohio. You don’t have a lot of free time though. You’re still planning to join Harry on tour as soon as classes finish?”

“I am, yeah,” Rori agreed.

“I think we’ve got some free time around the Ohio shows, Mark,” Harry butted in. “I’ll send you the tour schedule to see if you can fit something in.”

“Thanks Harry,” Mark said. “Anyway, you too enjoy the rest of your day and I’ll talk to you in a few days Rori.”

“Talk to you soon Mark.”

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[synthaes]

singin’ in the rain (1952) sentence starters.

it’s no wonder they’re a household name.

we’re just good friends!

we were kids together. we grew up together. we worked together!

dignity. always dignity.

[irritably plays a ragtime piano melody]

[i’m] fit as a fiddle and ready for love!

oh, that’s swell. just swell.

that’s a moot point.

well, that’s funny. i’m busy.

hot-diggity, kids!

can’t a girl get a word in edgewise?

no one’s got that much money.

why don’t you go out now and recite the gettysburg address?

you shouldn’t believe all that banana oil.

there is nothing between us.

there has never been anything between us– just air.

haven’t you heard? she’s irresistible. she told me herself.

i got no glory. i got no fame. i got no big mansions. i got no money. but i got – well, what have i got?

do something, call me a cab!

okay, you’re a cab.

don’t worry, i’m not a criminal!

you’re a famous gangster!

well, thanks for saving my life.

i’d very much like to know whose hospitality i’m enjoying.

we movie stars get the glory, i guess we have to take the little heartaches that go with it.

they just make a lot of dumb show.

you’ll have to wear a beard for that one.

you’re nothing but a shadow on film.

farewell, ethel barrymore!

how did you come, by way of australia?

you gotta show a movie at a party; it’s a hollywood law!

they’ll lose their shirts.

well, if it isn’t ethel barrymore.

all i do is dream of you.

you’re every thought, you’re everything, you’re every song i ever sing.

___, you never looked lovelier!

well, it’s a living.

she’s the first dame who hasn’t fallen for your lines since you were four.

come on now, snap out of it.

the show must go on!

i’m sure we should be as happy as – but are we? no. definitely no. positively no. decidedly no.

make ‘em laugh!

they’ll be standin’ in lines for those old, honky-tonk monkeyshines.

you could study shakespeare and be quite elite.

you could charm the critics and have nothing to eat.

slip on a banana peel, the world’s at your feet!

don’t you know the world wants to laugh?

go out and tell ‘em a joke, but give it plenty of hoke.

[cackles brightly, lengthily, and breathlessly]

why, you rattlesnake, you.

i never heard of anything so low.

i don’t like her half as much as i hate you, you reptile.

i’d rather kiss a tarantula.

i don’t – hey, ___, bring me a tarantula.

at last i can stop suffering and write that symphony!

what can i do but give my heart to you?

gee, i’m glad you turned up. we’ve been looking inside every cake in town!

i’m such a ham.

you sure look lovely in the moonlight.

i’ve laid awake the whole night through.

you were meant for me, and i was meant for you.

nature patterned you, and when she was done, you were all the sweet things rolled up in one.

you’re like a plaintive melody that never lets me free.

the angels must have sent you, and they meant you just for me.

sinful caeser sipped his snifter, seized his knees and sneezed.

moses supposes his toeses are roses, but moses supposes erroneously.

but moses, he knowses, his toeses aren’t roses, as moses supposes his toeses to be.

a rose is a rose, a nose is a nose, a toese is a toese.

hupi-dubi-du!

gee, this is dumb.

well, i can’t make love to a bush!

swell!

i love you, i love you, i love you.

this is a scream.

i’m no actor, i never was. just a lot of dumb show.

well, at least you’re taking it laying down.

or worse still, [you could] go back into vaudeville!

of course. it’s a cinch!

hot dog!

fellas, i feel this is my lucky day.

it’s 1:30 already. it’s morning!

we’ve talked the whole night through.

good mornin’!

it’s great to stay up late.

when the band began to play, the stars were shining bright.

now the milkman’s on his way, it’s too late to say goodnight.

so, good mornin’!

sunbeams will soon shine through.

we’ve gabbed the whole night through!

nothin’ could be grander than to be in louisiana.

might be just as zippy if we was in mississippi!

the pain is gone, the show goes on, and i don’t wanna say goodnight.

she can’t act, she can’t sing, and she can’t dance. a triple threat.

wait a minute. i am just about to be brilliant!

watch my mouth.

enchanting. what are you doing tomorrow?

where i stand, the sun is shining all over the place.

i’m singin’ in the rain; just singin’ in the rain.

what a glorious feeling, i’m happy again.

i’m laughin’ at clouds, so dark above.

the sun’s in my heart, and i’m ready for love.

let the stormy clouds chase everyone from this place.

come on with the rain, i’ve a smile on my face.

i’ll walk down the lane with a happy refrain.

remind me to give you a raise!

hey, ___. give me a raise.

would you dare to say: let’s do the same as they?

i would. would you?

first, we set the stage with a song.

don’t bring a frown to old broadway.

your troubles there, they’re out of style.

gotta dance!

broadway rhythm’s got me.

when i hear that happy beat, i feel like dancin’ down the street.

our love will last until the stars turn cold.

try and understand this: i’m going to marry her.

i once gave you a cigar. can i have it back?

tonight, i’m gonna do my own talking.

you’ve gotta do it, ___. this thing is too big.

you are my lucky star.

i was starstruck!

you are my lucky charms.

i’m lucky in your arms.

you’ve opened heaven’s portal here on earth for this poor mortal. 

[t0bi0l0gy]

ML Fluff Month Day 3: Summer Love

ML Fluff Month Day 3: Summer Love

Ship: Adrienette/Ladynoir?

AU: anon!/nonsuper!

Words: 1889

Rating: G

Summary: Love in the age of the internet? More likely than you’d think.

A/N: This was kinda rushed so I apologize in advance but I was really busy today and didn’t have a lot of time to write because of work! (hope you enjoy anyway!) { @miraculousfluffmonth }

Day 2 ~ ao3

ChatInTheNight is online.

Marinette smiled, as she pushed aside the dress she had been working on, and opened up the private chatroom she shared with her online ‘friend��. She really wasn’t sure what she considered him. They talk all the time, but she has no idea who he is or what he looks like. For all she knows, he could be catfishing her. But she trusts him, oddly he seems trustworthy. They’ve skyped before, but they had created an odd rule to stay anonymous.

Chat: Good evening, milady. Sorry I’m late for our date ;)

Marinette rolled her eyes, before typing back a witty response. The good thing about talking over the internet is you have a chance to think about what you want to say, before you say it. If only she had that luxury with Adrien.

LadyLvck: In your dreams, kitty cat. This bug has standards.

Chat: Meowch. For all you know, I could be a hot model with rock hard abs.

Adrien chuckled, as he held his laptop on his lap. Talking to Ladybug was one of his favorite pastimes. It didn’t take long for him to fall in love with her, but she constantly talks about this boy who is not him. She really cares for him. Adrien gets a little jealous as he thinks about the boy who has her heart, but he brushes it off as he waits for her reply.

LadyLvck: Pics or it didn’t happen ;)

Adrien wasted no time responding.

Chat: If I did, you wouldn’t be able to resist me. But if you insist...

LadyLvck: HA. You’re bluffing. I knew it.

Adrien decided to play along, even though he really was a hot model with rock hard abs. It was best if Ladybug thought he was hoking, because Adrien didn’t want to come off as that self-involved.

 Chat: All right you caught me. I’m even hotter.

LadyLvck: Yeah and I can fly. Nice try, Chaton.

Chat: I thought Ladybugs could fly?

 After that, Ladybug stopped responding for a while. It happens sometimes, she has a life to get to. Sometimes it’s dinner with her family, or her best friend arrives unexpectedly, or last minute babysitting. But she always comes back eventually. So Adrien just put his laptop off to the side, and rolled out of bed. Despite his incredible room, Adrien had trouble finding anything to do to pass the time. He wished he could spend his Friday evening out with his friends, but his father refuses to even let him set foot outside unless it involved school, fencing, or modeling. He hates being locked up in his house all weekend, but it’s not all bad. It gives him a chance to talk to Ladybug. When she’s around at least. Adrien had proceeded to staring up at the ceiling when his laptop beeped, signalling a message from Ladybug. He reached behind him, turning the laptop to face him, and he read it slowly.

LadyLvck: Hey, I really need to get out of my house. Are you free tonight?

Adrien couldn’t believe what he was reading. Would he... really meet Ladybug. Then maybe would be a good time to confess his feelings for her.

Chat: Is something wrong, milady?

Marinette had tears streaming down her face, so she couldn’t read the screen very clearly. She managed to type out an ‘I’m alright. Just bored :)’ to satisfy Chat, but in reality she was sick of the secrets. She needs to know who he is.

Chat: As it turns out, I am totally free tonight. Purrrrfect for you.

LadyLvck: I guess my luck prevails today. If we were to meet at the park by my school, how would we find each other?

Marinette knew what he was going to say before the typing bubble even appeared on her computer screen.

Chat: Wear my sweatshirt I sent you. I’ll be able to sniff you out, bugaboo.

LadyLvck: What about you? Not that I don’t trust you or anything...

Chat: Trust me, bugaboo. I’ll know when I see you. Because you’ll be the prettiest person in the park. ;)

By now, the sadness and hoplessness she had felt only moments ago, and was replaced with a blush and a smile. Chat was the only one who seemed to notice her. To most everyone else, she was invisible. Except for Chloe. Chloe had come into the bakery, and her snarky comments finally pushed Marinette to her breaking point. But Chat and his flirting helped her to feel better about herself.

LadyLvck: Can’t wait to meet you again Chat Noir.

Chat logged out first, and she followed not long afterwards. Standing up, she moved to her closet, pulling Chat’s sweatshirt from the floor, and pulling it over her head. It was a little baggy, but surprisingly, it fit her well. It was just a black hoodie, with cat ears on the hood, and a green paw print on the pocket. Marinette pulled the hood up, and slipped out of her house. She avoided the bakery, mainly to avoid her parents, and started off towards the park.

Adrien couldn’t decide what to wear. His first meeting with Ladybug. He wanted to look his absolute best, but also look recognizable. She needed to be able to recognize him. So he pulled a red blazer with black accents from under his bed, and he grinned like a cat. It was perfect. Slipping the jacket on, he opened his bedroom and slipped out, unnoticed. His first time sneaking out of his house. It was exhilarating, honestly. He hurried along the busy Paris streets, towards the park next to their school. Ladybug didn’t know this, but he had found out one day that they go to the same school. As Adrien walked, he tried to figure out his Lady could be.

Alix, Rose, Mylene, Chloe

... Adrien cringed at the last one, and continued down the line.

Juleka, Alya, Sabrina, Marinette.

His mind lingered on Marinette a little longer than he liked to admit, but he pushed the thoughts out of his head, because it couldn’t be her. Adrien had never known the girl to be sarcastic or teasing. Marinette was too kind to be that way.

The park was growing closer, and Adrien’s pace quickened with anticipation of finally meeting Ladybug, the girl who he can’t seem to ever stop thinking about. He noticed the girl wearing his hoodie almost instantly, and his heart rate went crazy, and he knew his cheeks must be bright pink. From where Adrien stood, he couldn’t see the girl’s face, and she was scribbling furiously in a notebook. Adrien broke out of his trance and moved towards the girl. The girl looked up suddenly, and locked eyes with Adrien, who exploded in a deep blush. Ladybug is Marinette. She has been the whole time.

God, I feel like such an idiot

Adrien thought to himself, as he brought up one hand to wave at her. Marinette just smiled shyly, closing her notebook quickly.

“Hey, Adrien,” She paused, a tense giggle leaving her lips. “What are you doing here? Well, I’m not saying you can’t be here because you can, and I am really happy you’re here! But it’s not like you came here for me, no of course not. I just...” Marinette silenced herself, groaning before looking up at Adrien, who was just smiling weirdly at her.

“I’m here to see you.” Adrien managed to choke out, and Marinette gasped and blushed darkly, turning her head away from him to hide her blush.

“You WHAT?! I mean... sorry.” Adrien knew this was probably the most awkward conversation he has ever had and probably will ever have, but he doesn’t care. His head is in the clouds, he feels like he’s flying.

Marinette is Ladybug

.

And she’s sitting RIGHT THERE. And she is wearing my hoodie.

Adrien could die happy. But he knew that he couldn’t tell her he was Chat, Not yet at least.

“Well, I saw you sitting there alone and thought you could use some company.” Adrien couldn’t help the suave tone his voice took on as he spoke. He had a strange urge to impress Marinette now. Even more so than before. Marinette looked around, and Adrien knew she was looking for him. Well Chat Noir.

“I- I’m actually waiting for someone. A-A friend.” Adrien smirked, and bumped her shoulder with his own.

“Does Marinette have a date?” Adrien was hoping for a positive reaction. He needed to know if she truly felt the same way. Marinette giggled, a faraway look in her eyes. Then she giggled again, but the affectionate smile that crossed her face gave Adrien all the answers he needed.

“No...” She brushed him off, another giggle escaping her lips. “I mean, maybe? It’s complicated.”

“How so?” Adrien slid into the spot next to her on the bench, and she pulled the hood over her face, which Adrien guessed to cover another blush.

“Well, for one, I have never met him in person,” Marinette paused, as if she were waiting for a response from Adrien, but he willed himself to stay silent. “But also, I’ve never met anyone, besides maybe my parents, who cares so unselfishly for me. Like I complained that my room was cold and he literally

sent me this sweatshirt

. In the mail.” She turned to meet Adrien’s gaze. Marinette has had a crush on Adrien for years now, and everytime she would look at him, her brain would malfunction. Now, that awkwardness had faded. She still loved Adrien, but the way she felt about Chat was completely different.

“He must really love you.” Marinette coughed, and turned to narrow her eyes at Adrien, who was just smiling warmly at her.

“W-Why do you think that? We’ve never even met?”

“Does that matter?” Adrien knew this whole situation was very ironic, but he was enjoying every second spent with Marinette. With school approaching soon, he wanted to spend the year with Marinette by his side. If she would let him. Marinette opened her mouth to respond, but just closed it again when she caught Adrien staring at her.

“Well, if he were here, I would consider this a date. But I’ve been waiting for almost a half hour and he hasn’t shown, so I think I got stood up.” Adrien hated the way her voice cracked with insecurity. Whatever had happened today had really hurt her self-esteem. And Adrien planned to fix it.

“Marinette.” Adrien pulled the hood away from her face, revealing her tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. She sniffled, before looking up at him. She tried to smile, to show him that she was ok, but she clearly wasn’t.

Chloe had shown up at the bakery and decided to treat her like a servant, only to not buy anything. Normally, Marinette can easily put up with Chloe, but her day has been pretty unlucky, which is why she needed Chat to cheer her up. In person. But the one time she needs him the most, he doesn’t come. Was it all just a lie?

“Marinette, who do you think you’ve been sitting with this whole time?”

“Uh... You? Adrien Agreste.” Marinette clearly didn’t understand the question. So Adrien just leaned in and kissed her forehead gently.

“Nice to finally meet you, milady.”

[junker-town]

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, the Big Ten’s ref conspiracy against 1 of its 2 biggest programs continues

Your weekly tour of the most infuriated in college football internet.

Michigan gave up a 42 spot and got clobbered at Penn State on Saturday. The Wolverines fell into a tie with Rutgers for fourth place in the Big Ten East as we near the end of October. But it’s fine, because UM can claim undisputed possession of fourth place if it manages to beat the Scarlet Knights next week.

Jim Harbaugh will run his streak of not winning the East to three years out of three since arriving in Ann Arbor. Let’s check in with some Michigan fans.

The forums at mgoblog are on fire.

Someone takes the time to track how frequently message board posters type curse words. The data is fascinating. Excerpts:

The State Of Our Open Threads: After Penn State

First and foremost, the most surprising thing about last night's data - we didn't break any season highs. The 560 fucks we gave does not top the MSU game's 621, but it is good enough for 2nd highest this year. The shits we gave experienced their third second straight week of decline from a high of 233 in the MSU gam to onlt 138 shits in this game.

Not too many fucks or shits. So everyone was cool, right? Wrong. It’s firing season.

The only thing that really took a jump in the upward direction was the talk of firing people, most notably Pep Hamilton, Tim Drevno, the younger Harbaugh and yes, there were a few truly inane people that questioned whether or not Jim himself should have the job. Of course, as there is no plan B and the univesity has made it clear that this talk is a non-starter, we can discount those particular thoughts, we can't discount their disappointment. We were all definitely disappointed - to the tune of "fire" being 1.61 standard deviations above the season average.

And in general, word-tracking indicates people were furious.

R-squared for "fuck" with respect to all tracked language was 0.93, which is typical of past seasons and shows the slow realignment of our feelings about the season with "fuck". Interestingly, overall swearing efficiency was only up slight from the Indiana game at 2.07, representing 1,262 tracked instances over 2,613 total posts.

After seven games, the largest portion of our frustration is summarized in these:

"fuck" - 34.78% of all tracked words

"shit - 12.52% of all tracked words

"offense" - 15.87% of all tracked words

"Harbaugh" - 9.94% of all tracked words

"damn" - 6.14% of all tracked words

That's nearly 80% of all tracked words right there, which amounts to something like "fuck shit offense damn Harbaugh" or something. I am pretty sure someone somewhere said that last night. Pretty sure.

One thread was devoted to being a “repository for your thoughts and hot takes on the offensive performance in our game versus Penn State.” It’s an ever-flowing open wound of misery directed at Harbaugh and coordinators Drevno and Hamilton:

Burn it to the ground in the off-season. 4th and 11 play action says it all.

That really did happen. Here’s how it went:

I'm glad I wasn't the only one ready to fling something on that play call. Who the fuck do you think you're fooling??

Yeah I commented the same in the game thread. What. The. Shit.

That was an lol moment for sure. What a fucking joke.

Fuck everyone. That is all

Worst offensive staff ever.

That’s a play call you might make by accidentally hitting the wrong button in Madden, but not one you’d expect to be made in an actual football game at this level.

Another thread wonders whether Harbaugh’s powers simply don’t work at night:

Night Game W/L

L Utah 17-24

W Minnesota 29-26

W Rutgers 78-0

L Iowa 13-14

L FSU 32-33

L MSU 10-14

L PSU 13-42

Overall record: 2-5

Most of those games were away from Ann Arbor, most of those losses were by single scores, and most of those games were against teams that would finish ranked.

There’s an excellent chance that Penn State or Ohio State will make the Playoff while the Wolverines play in the Outback Bowl, or some such.

A key element of a post-big loss response cycle: the unearthing of a ref conspiracy.

Michigan is consistently getting more penalties than their opponents

[a bunch of penalty totals listed here]

I don't even remember the last time Michigan's DL drew a holding penalty. Obviously UM needs to play with more discipline, but there is a fairly consistent pattern emerging. Very hard for me not to believe there isn't a bias against Harbaugh and Michigan.

The last time Michigan’s defensive line drew a holding penalty was two weeks ago against Michigan State. But I want to encourage this kind of thinking, so I’ll note Brady Hoke’s Michigan teams all finished in the Big Ten’s top three at avoiding penalties, while 2017’s is second-worst.

A similar thought at Michigan’s Scout board: Did the ref conspiracy come down from Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany himself, in a bid to infuriate one of the largest fanbases in the country and one of the two most important schools in his league?

Refs Discriminate Against Harbaugh

Penn st had one penalty tonight. Herbie called out the refs on the obvious intentional grounding. Rashan Gary was tackled from behind multiple times. Almost no holding penalties have been called against opposing o-lines the last couple of years when Michigan has many big time NFL d-lineman. The MSU game and OSU last year were very biased against Michigan.

The best refs we've had this year were in the Florida game - non conference. Why is Michigan getting the short end of the stick? Are refs out to show up Harbaugh? Did Delaney give a directive? What are your thoughts?

There are a lot more threads about unfair officiating. Michigan fans alleging a ref conspiracy: not a new thing.

In general, though, there is only sadness.

Since 2004

Since our last Big Ten Title in 2004 ( yes thats right, 13 years ago) Michigan has 62 losses, an average of 4.77 per season.

The first reply:

Omg you're so insightful.

Fuck off

Another team that lost this week: Arkansas.

The Hogs are 2-5 after losing 52-20 at home to Auburn.

This was how Bret Bielema dressed:

Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

ENHANCE.

At Hogville.com, someone posits the question: “What kind of tool bag Coach wears a windbreaker with his initials on it?”

(Bill Belichick has done this, too, but he’s not 2-5 at Arkansas.)

Arkansas was later roasted (fairly) by the head coach of Arkansas State, which is better this year than Arkansas.

Blake Anderson got jokes http://pic.twitter.com/Bzz405qE3I

— Jay Bir (@TheJayBir) October 23, 2017

Tennessee got shellacked by Alabama, and fans have some typically reasonable head coach suggestions.

I’m not even talking about Jon Gruden, in this case.

Let’s throw it to VolNation.com. Here is a thread that purports to be about realistic coach candidates to replace Butch Jones, who is nominally not fired yet but will probably soon be fired. Yes, it includes Mike Gundy, who turned down the job in 2013.

Realistic -potential new head coaches

Sean Payton

Assuming that New Orleans misses the playoffs again this year, he could be available.

These poor people.

Georgia Southern fell to 0-6 by losing to previously winless UMass.

We’ll divide this visit to GSUFans.com into two parts: one before the Eagles fired head coach Tyson Summers on Sunday, and one after.

Before the firing:

Some fans were trying to numb the pain:

Drinking Game.....

Well...

Now that our team has been completely destroyed, let’s have some laughs and turn this into a drinking game....

I’m thinking a drink each time TS plays with his headset volume would be a good start...

(may as well carry through to rules regarding the post game interviews and whatever else our special, special HC does.)

Hell, Maybe we really could get ripped and make a rule for double drinks per targeting call.

Other ideas?

After the firing:

Joy joy hallelujah. Let's pretend the last yr and a half was a mass hallucination!!!

And this food for thought:

I want Hugh Freeze.

Texas lost to Oklahoma State on a dying duck of an overtime interception.

And this was the in-the-moment response in the comments section of the GameThread at SB Nation’s Barking Carnival:

USC lost a blowout at Notre Dame, thus ending the roughly yearlong perception that USC is good.

The Trojans will check this box for us this week:

Dear any major Boosters

Chip Kelly is available. Now is your window to make this happen. Don't let utla make the better move.

Good idea! But there is one hitch.

You actually trust USC boosters? They would try to hire Jeff Fisher

The most devastating thing about that is that it’s true.