#i am guessing they didn't fight their parents for fear of being removed from the will

[millerflintstone]

In fucked up family news, we found out both of Unfriendly's parents died 2 Tuesdays ago. We were emailed by his youngest sister on 2/7 at night. We didn't see it until 2/8 in the morning. And she's almost 52 so she's not clueless due to youth.

The email didn't even begin with your typical, "I'm sorry to give you this news" or anything remotely like that. It began like this - As executor of mom's will, I am writing to inform you that you are a beneficiary of mom's life insurance policy. Since dad passed before mom, all 4 of us are what are called "contingent beneficiaries"

Since the email we got was very formal and only about his mom's life insurance policy, Unfriendly asked his sister by email what was going on. Couldn't call her because her email said that her phone wouldn't be fixed until later that week. So he tried other numbers. No answer.

She replied to him via email the next day. She told him that their dad died on 11/8 (complications from kidney disease and heart failure) and that his mom died on 1/21 (massive stroke). The 21st is also Unfriendly's birthday. Their parents told Unfriendly's 3 siblings and I'm guessing our older niece and nephew not tell Unfriendly when they died. "No matter if we agreed or not we honored their wishes as they were adamant about it"

So why did his younger sister decide to break this promise ? Her reasoning in emailing him was that they felt it was better to give him the info vs an insurance agent calling out of nowhere. And I'm guessing "they" means his siblings.

I'm still kinda dumbfounded that what prompted them to reach out to Unfriendly was the life insurance policy info. He didn't even get confirmation of both his parents being dead until he asked for more details. Money was the reason and not basic human decency or any concept of right or wrong. Hell, even if they didn't want to ruin his birthday they couldn't contact him the day after?

I said to him that if that was the reasoning, his sister should have just not contacted him at all and let the insurance agent do it. He agreed.

We don't have any other information. We're assuming the funerals have already happened. His brother eventually called him back and he sounded so nonchalant in his voice mail message. It was stomach turning.

I've been processing these deaths on top of all the health crap and my own mother's death. His dad died 3 days after my mom.

It's odd. I wasn't super close to them but there was a point where they felt like family. I mourned that loss a while ago. I haven't cried over them yet but I have cried about how they've all treated Unfriendly and how they've never made the effort to understand him. I've cried about how there's no hate quite like what you see in this flavor of Christian. Those tears are frustration, rage, disbelief and sorrow.

There's more of a back story about how our relationship with them fell apart but that's another story for another post.

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

My love| Echo (part 7)

Note: This ones got a lot of small details that add up to one and Its comin along

Warnings: sad echo and shocking information

Reader: Male

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 3.5 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

"Dad! Dad come on!" Rosyln cheered jumping on the bed.

"Come on dad! It's snowing!"

Echo groaned, "Come on dad!"

Rolling over to his back his little girl jumped into his chest.

"Man you're gettin big." Echo spoke as she smiled.

"Come on! Get up!" She cheered getting off the bed, "Dad's outside already!"

He smiled, sitting up he rubbed his back.

"Okay. Okay." Echo spoke pulling himself out a bed and grabbing a poncho hanging on the end of the bed.

"Yes!" She cheered rushing off, her boots making heavy thuds against the wooden floor as she ran to go meet her father outside.

Pulling on a turtle neck he pulled on the poncho afterwards, still in his sleeping joggers he walked through the house and to the front door.

"Okay Rosyln," he chuckled, walking out of the house and onto the porch, looking around he chuckled, seeing boot prints in the snow.

Following them he snuck around the side of the house, at the corner he heard giggling.

"I got you!" He shouted happily turning the corner but no one was there.

Looking around in confusion his eyebrows knitted togegher.

"Rosyln?" He called out looking around, "Rosyln? Darling? Where are you!?"

"Dad!" She shouted for, fear lacing her voice, "Dad!"

He rushed toward her voice rushing towards the sound of her voice, running around the side of the house he looked for her.

"Rosyln! Rosyln! Where are you!" He shouted, "where are you!"

"Echo! Echo!"

He jolted, Hunter holding his shoulder's, his breath heavy, a face filled with fear and pain.

"Echo! Hey. Hey. Calm down. Calm. Down." Hunter spoke, "it's me. It's Hunter."

"I." Echo started, but couldn't get out any words, "Hunter I."

"Hey. Don't explain it, just. Breathe." Hunter deamanded.

Echo's ragged breath started to slow, Hunter's hands on Echo's shoulders.

"W-when did I fall asleep?" He questioned looking around, the ship still in hyperspace.

"Echo I came in to check on you before I put Omega to bed. You we're staring off into space." Hunter told him, "Echo you need rest."

"No," Echo spoke, "I- Im fine."

Hunter sighed, taking a seat in the co-piolts chair, "You know. I'll never understand what you're go through."

Echo was silent as he rubbed his eyes, "but I do understand wanting to get someone back, when Omega got taken by that bounty hunter... I. I didn't know what I'd do if I didn't get her back."

Echo leaned back in the chair, "I know you lost alot, and you shouldn't have to loose one more."

Echo pulled the small disk out his belt pouches.

"You looked at it?" Echo questioned looking down at the disk, "this?"

Hunter nodded softly, "Y/n's mentioned on it? Yeah?" Echo questioned.

Hunter responded with a second nod, "and...the kids? His brothers and sisters? They must be mentioned on it."

"Yeah,Echo they are." Hunter told.

Echo nodded, sitting back up and leaning over as he looked at the disk he ran between his fingers. Soon handing it to Hunter.

"Echo." He told, "You need to see whats on there."

"No. I just need Y/n." He told Hunted who took the disk softly, "and just a bit more time to think is all."

Hunter nodded, getting up, "Tech, will, uh, switch shifts with you."

Echo nodded as Hunter left him to his own devices.

Hoth was a desolate planet, despite the white which gave it's bright apperance.

The wind rushed passed the cloaked figure as he held onto the hood, the wind dying down as he let go of it.

In the distance as the snow settled stood two figures.

"Norman. Stay here."

The white haired boyed covered by a black thick poncho nodded as the cloaked figured moved forward, the figures meeting him half way.

"Thank you! For coming!" He shouted as the wind roared.

"It is an honor to be fighting with you! My wife, and my second hand! Eleni!" The twilek male spoke.

"It is an honor!" She chattered out, cold as the wind picked up once more.

"Apologizes for the meeting point!" Rosyln apologized, "as You may know! I am Project Rosyln! Follow me!"

They followed the male back to the ship, Norman the young boy had already taken shelter inside.

"Norman, these are the Syundullas, Eleni and Cham." He introduced, the boy in white nodded.

"I am Norman, it's nice to meet you."

The two nodded in response, everyone removing there extra article of chlothing.

"This must be important if one of you're parents sent there children." Eleni spoke, "and such with such a meeting point."

"This...is a different matter. Please. We have much to discuss."

"You may take rest." Tech spoke walking into the cockpit, bur got no response, walking towards the chair Echo was slumped over, sleeping in crossed arms at the edge of the control panel.

Tech let him rest, taking co-piolts chair as he leaned back, datapad in hand as he started looking through what he had copied from the disk. He had figured he would see more resources, more death tolls and ways to die by the new and improved empires hand, and he was right. More imperal codes, new weapons arrays and ways to pass on, most vulgar, violating, dishonorable and disrespectful.

They had already taken people prison, why disrespect them in death as well. The longer he looked- the more confused he became, most files corrupted and named weridly, letters of the basic alphabet. He kept himself up, going through file after file, werid code being written that he couldn't understand or translate, but there was one thing that stood out to him: one time mentioned one time saw: CT in bold the only thing in galatic basic and an attached file of a hand print.

Then it clicked.

Getting up quickly he walked out of the cockpit, rushing to Omega's bunk.

"Omega. Omega!" He tried waking her up.

"What?" She asked waking up, eyes still half closed, "Tech?"

"What is Echo's Friends CT number?"

"What?"

"You know all the CT- numbers by heart don't you?" He questioned.

"Uh. Yeah?" She questioned, "why?"

"Echo's Friends CT number! What is it?" He questioned, "You know the one friend he won't talk about?"

"You mean Fives? Nala Se talked about him once-"

"Fives? Fives what's his name? Why?"

"Well his CT number was CT-5555-" Omega told, "but he died, why?"

"Because it's not by number is by letter! The letters from the files! They spell out a name! Fives must be a key name if Rosyln is Y/n!"

"What?" Omega asked confused.

"But Fives isnt a possible solution- so what does Fives repersent..." Tech thought out loud.

"He made it to Arc Trooper I heard." Omega spoke yawned.

"Arc Trooper?" Tech questioned as Omega nodded, "Has anyone been created to be a higher ranking trooper?"

"Well you know the basic trainning?" Omega questioned sitting up fully.

Tech nodded, "The Kaminonins would add onto that but not genetically, besides clone force 99, not that I know of."

"Not that you know of?"

Omega nodded, "I had top clearance too due to Nala Se. So I seen everything on Kamino."

"Had they ever transported machinery off world? Anything?"

"Yeah a few broken tubes, a long time ago. I found it odd."

"How many?"

"Mhmm...20? Maybe 25?" Omega spoke, "they were odd looking, I assumed they were protoyoes that failed."

"But that doesn't make sense." Tech argued.

"What are you yelling about here in Tech?" Hunter spoke walking back to the two.

"Yeah Im tryin to sleep." Wrecker argued joining them.

"Hunter, these files that have been sent to us have a message incrypted the only possible thing being able to read is CT in basic."

"And?" Hunter argued, "what does that have to with you shouting my ears off?"

"Fives would be someone only Echo knew-"

"Rex would of known him too." Hunter told.

"Yes but Y/n's met us not rex." Tech spoke, "Y/n's met Echo's newest squad mates but not his old ones. As they are separated. They'd be no actual time to interact with them."

"Okay so that's why we went to Zut not Rex." Hunter spoke, "It still doesnt explain why you're shouting over something so simple."

"But listen!" Tech spoke, "Fives has to stand for something, right?"

"Okay but where does fives come in?" Hunter questioned.

"This hand print." Tech spoke, "the hand print is obvioisly gloved and is the size of a regs hand. Something Echo had gotten standing next to Fives, further explaining why Fives is an important person in finding Y/n. Not to mention Echo's the only one who knew Roslyn and Fives well."

"Okay so mentioning Fives does what now exactly. Echo can't understand this! Wrecker couldn't even scribble this!" Hunter argued, "its basically pictures and scribbles."

"Hey!" Wrecker argued as Hunter snatched the data pad showing it to Wrecker to prove his point.

"Hey I've seen this before!" Wrecker spoke.

"Excuse me?"

Wrecker nodded handing off the datapad to Omega, "Echo has markings like that on his blasters."

"Wait, so Echo know's what this is?" Hunter asked.

Wrecker shrugged, "I guess? Hey! Maybe it's like me and Omega's secret code!"

"Oh yeah!" Omega cheered.

"Secret code?" Tech questioned, "that's it! It makes sense! The reason Fives and Rosyln is important! The way it's written like this! Echo's been right this whole time!"

"But that still doesnt explain the Kaminonin tubes." Omega spoke, "Unless there are Kaminonin files."

"Just a few medical documents, nothing we don't know." Tech informed

"Wait. Why would Y/n have a hold of Kaminonin medical document's, he's never seen battle he doesnt need strong medical trainning." Hunter questioned.

"So what? Y/n was like an enchanted clone?" Wrecker laughed, "Good one Tech."

The group looked back at Wrecker.

"What?" He asked, "Oh come on. Y/n looks nothing like us! We don't even have the same eye color!"

"What happens if Y/n's not a clone of Jango Fett. Yet of someone else?" Tech questioned.

"Hey." Omega questioned looking down at the data pad, "I found one combination to those letters Tech. What's Project Star Killer?"

[anonymoustalks]

They also didn't want me to speak Korean outside of the house because "in America you speak only English."

(6-17-20) You both like Politics.

You: hi

Stranger: Hello

You: What is something important to you?

Stranger: My job.

You: Mhm how so?

Stranger: Because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to buy a house, save money, and have dinner every night.

You: Very reasonable

You: and grounded

Stranger: Considering that I grew up low-income, it only makes sense that I skimp and save.

You: ah yeah, that helps gives perspective for sure

Stranger: All I can really say is not having food every day isn't fun.

You: Mhm did you grow up not being able to eat every day?

Stranger: Yes.

You: What was that like?

Stranger: Hell.

You: Yeah I can imagine

Stranger: The savior was USDA subsidized cheese.

You: are you us-based?

Stranger: I was. I relocated to South Korea in 2007.

You: mhm was the food insecurity in the SU or south korea?

Stranger: The US.

You: where were you specifically, if you don't mind me asking?

Stranger: Detroit until I was 8, Denver from 8-22.

You: mhm

Stranger: You couldn't pay me to move back to the US, in spite of the fact that my parents always insisted that it was better than Korea.

You: Mhm I'd love to hear anything that you're willing to share

Stranger: Well, what do you want to hear?

You: well, everything lol

You: but I guess we don't have time lol

Stranger: What parts do you want to hear?

You: I never personally experienced food insecurity

You: or the circumstances around that

You: and what your family did

You: and I guess why you moved

Stranger: Food insecurity is hell. My parents simply lived with it and ignored it.

You: as context, I'm guessing your family were immigrants?

Stranger: I moved for job security and so I wouldn't face discrimination in the US. Yes, they immigrated from Korea.

You: mhm

You: I'm not really that familiar with detroit and things, but I feel like the naive question I'm sure you get is what about food banks?

You: or other stuff

Stranger: Not a thing back in 1980s/90s Detroit outside of churches, which my parents stayed away from.

You: ahh I didn't know

You: so I'm guessing subsidized school lunches probably also weren't a thing?

Stranger: Those were, but my parents didn't apply for those until we moved to Denver.

You: sounds really rough

Stranger: They didn't apply mostly for fear of deportation

You: undocumented?

Stranger: They were documented, the documentation wasn't always fully valid.

You: ah..

You: student visa?

Stranger: Green cards.

You: mhm I guess it's just so different it's hard for me to imagine

Stranger: Needless to say, people who work on private railyards don't make much.

You: my goodness

Stranger: About 50 cents an hour back in the 80s and 90s.

You: yeah... I just can't imagine

You: how did your family end up moving to denver?

Stranger: My father's job at the railyard was replaced by a sensor and they were concerned that Detroit was becoming too unsafe.

You: mhm this was the big crime era too?

Stranger: Yes. And we lived in a housing project that was effectively where you went to buy drugs or die.

You: buy drugs or die?

Stranger: Lot of dealers, criminals, and bait apartments in there.

You: okay, was just slightly confused about the wording if they made you buy or something

Stranger: The people in the apartment next to us were dealers.

You: mhm

Stranger: The Detroit PD raided the wrong unit, not theirs.

You: .......

Stranger: And that's why I don't respect the Detroit PD.

You: yeah that's terrible

Stranger: We did get money from them after it was found that they broke the most expensive thing in the apartment.

You: it's just so hard for me to imagine what your parents went through

You: coming to the US

You: and all of this

Stranger: I can provide some more insight if you'd like.

You: anything you want to share is good

Stranger: They had this twisted perspective on American customs and holidays.

You: meaning?

Stranger: They didn't get any of them per-se "right."

You: huh

Stranger: Xmas? Get up at 5 AM and eat a pack of Twinkies. "We're going to work."

Stranger: New year's? Get up at 5 AM and eat nothing. "We're going to work"

Stranger: They also told me to not get good grades, because "Americans don't"

You: huh that's unexpected to me...

Stranger: I got all A+s on the report cards, and even skipped a lot of grades after moving to Denver.

You: mhm good for you!

Stranger: They also didn't want me to speak Korean outside of the house because "in America you speak only English."

You: I'm trying to imagine things through their eyes

Stranger: What are you effectively seeing?

You: uhh very poor, desperate, scared

Stranger: That about summed them up.

You: yeah.

Stranger: Even now, they refuse help from me.

You: mhm... that sounds kinda vaguely asian

You: are they still in the us?

Stranger: Yes.

Stranger: Still living in Denver, too.

You: what did they do in denver?

Stranger: My mother is a cashier at a Wal-Mart, and my father is a gun salesman, since he became a citizen in 2012.

You: mhm

Stranger: They did let me pay off their mortgage in 2011, though.

You: oh that's good

You: I can imagine your parents being very proud of you

You: are you an only child or with siblings?

Stranger: I'm an only child.

Stranger: I doubt they could ever afford a second.

You: right

Stranger: Hell, they were still paying down the bill from my birth until I was 10.

You: yeah asian-american poverty is just something I'm so removed from it's just I don't even know what to say

Stranger: That was back when Koreans were below Hispanics on the social ladder

You: right... I didn't realize detroit or denver had any kind of korean population

Stranger: Not really, they just ended up in those places because there were jobs.

You: mhm

You: so you went through school in denver, graduated, did college, and then moved to korea?

Stranger: I went through high school in Denver, graduated, college fast-tracked from age 14, medical school from 16-22. Then got the hell out of the US.

You: oh my goodness that's incredible

Stranger: I started high school at age 8 due to the district insisting on testing me.

You: yeah um I didn't even realize that kind of thing was possible

Stranger: It is, and its just not common

Stranger: I learned a lot from the books my parents had around the apartment.

You: yeah

Stranger: Since all that they had were my father's textbooks from college and a few legal help books.

Stranger: And operating manuals, and legal documentation.

You: mhm it just sounds like such a whirlwind of stuff to go through

You: anyhow what brings you to the politics tag?

Stranger: I like politics, always have.

You: on omegle? haha ^^

Stranger: I like most politics.

You: ^^ I guess I would have imagined that most ordinary ppl who like politics would be on reddit I guess or something

You: unless they have something strange going for them lol

Stranger: I have nothing going for me politics-wise.

You: hm, but other things?

You: sorry if I'm prying

Stranger: In the medical field, yes.

You: huh?

Stranger: I'm a general practitioner, and a tenured one at that, so I'm among the ~150 important people at the KCDC.

You: oh what I meant is that I'm just surprised someone like you would be on omegle that's all haha ^^

You: since we're pretty trashy here haha

Stranger: Nowhere near as trashy as other people I've encountered

You: mhm maybe

Stranger: Namely the Detroit police department SWAT team

You: >.<

You: so do you have a list of political issues you care about the most?

Stranger: Yeah, mostly not defunding the KCDC.

You: do you get a lot of koreans on omegle?

Stranger: No, I've never encountered another Korean.

You: oh okay

You: yeah I don't think I've ever run into anyone from east asia

You: many from india though

Stranger: In case you're wondering, the KCDC is basically Korea's healthcare provider, and disease/drug regulator.

You: yeah I googled it

You: I thought korea did very well with coronavirus testing

Stranger: We did.

You: why are they trying to defund you?

Stranger: Because they want to stop covering things that many Koreans rely on, such as vision coverage (I benefit from it), as well as coverage of OTC drugs in hospitals.

You: hmm how is there not popular backlash?

You: I thought there was a general political adage that it's easy to give benefits, but hard to repeal them

Stranger: They've kept it under wraps by putting funding changes in fine print.

You: funding charges as in...?

Stranger: Funneling the money into reserves.

You: oh okay, it might be a bit over my head ^^

Stranger: Basically, the KCDC is funded in USD, so we can buy equipment without exchange rate issues, and they view the USD as a finite recourse. Its not, since saving it depreciates the value for us long-term.

You: huuh I didn't know that at all

Stranger: Meanwhile, I have to fight with a government-paid vision provider to get my new glasses.

You: btw why did your parents dislike korea so much?

Stranger: Korea was different in the 70s and 80s. The leaders were totalitarians mostly installed by the US. The economy was garbage, and it was impossible to get a stable job outside of manufacturing or the armed forces.

You: ah okay, thanks for the summary

Stranger: They were middle class in Korea, too. And they left that all for the US.

You: yeah... I didn't realize the exchange rate was so steep back then too

Stranger: Most of the reason they were poor in the US was because of their limited English.

You: Ah okay

You: What kind of conversations do you normally get into here on omegle?

Stranger: Usually something that ends with "the US owns Korea."

You: what?

Stranger: The Republicans in the US have this twisted idea that America owns Korea.

You: huh

You: and you enjoy talking to people like that?

Stranger: No, but I like trying to talk sense into them.

You: ^^;; it sounds like quite an argument

Stranger: And its hilarious to me.

You: ah yeah, I guess people do like the amusement

Stranger: I have spat out coffee laughing at their stupidity.

You: I think people come from very different places ^^

Stranger: To some of them its a foreign concept that people can make more money in countries other than the US.

You: I think it depends in part on people's skill sets

Stranger: They also don't understand how foreign currency works, since, sometimes if they ask about my pay, I give it to them in KRW.

You: lol

Stranger: They think I'm lying because the number in KRW exceeds 350 billion

Stranger: KRW is counted in a strange manner.

You: hm? how so?

Stranger: 1,000 KRW= 1 USD (one cheap meal). 100 KRW= 10 cents (which is the same cost as a burger here), 10 KRW= 1 cent (half a bottle of cola).

Stranger: You have to know it to recognize it on site.

You: huh...

Stranger: We make western money but don't pay western prices.

You: I'm just slightly confused basically

Stranger: McDonald's is expensive here, with a meal being $8.

Stranger: McDonald's is expensive here, with a meal being $8.

Stranger: The only things that really cost western prices are, well... western things.

You: mhm right

You: I feel like cost-of-living in different places is always a little hard for me to grasp

Stranger: I find it amazing that Coke is considered the cheap beverage here and in the US

You: I have a suspicion that in many circumstances people are just buying the bottle

Stranger: Still, I have always viewed it as expensive.

You: I mean if you look at the price of a 2L bottle versus a small bottle?

Stranger: Yes, but, still, too pricey when I was young.

You: the drink itself must be inexpensive to manufacture

You: but the retail price is elevated substantially

Stranger: My parents always viewed it as "why spend a buck on a 2L when Faygo is 75 cents, we can barely afford it as is"

Stranger: Which ingrained it as being a luxury product in my mind

You: lol

You: idk it's cheaper than milk, juice... so many things

You: I feel like it must be bad for public health

Stranger: Faygo is and always has been cheaper

Stranger: Probably because of competition

You: oh we don't have them here

Stranger: Faygo is highly regionalized to Detroit.

You: not distributed in my area

Stranger: In fairness, it helps the cost when its bottled a few blocks from the grocer.

You: I guess that's true

You: but there are always discount soft drink brands too

You: although I was never pressed enough at cash to really look very hard at the difference between a dollar or like 90 cents...

Stranger: My parents had to look carefully at those prices

You: yeah

Stranger: What would be 45 minutes in the grocer for a person who can grab-and-go items would be 1-2 hours for us.

You: mhm

Stranger: Which is why I buy the same three things at the grocer, so I don't need to price compare

You: mhm I feel spoiled because I don't really do much coupon shopping

Stranger: For what its worth, they did get the one symbol of wealth that Korean-Americans viewed as a symbol of wealth at the time.

You: which was?

Stranger: Color television set.

You: oh

You: I think you are around a decade older than me so it's hard for me to compare and contrast

Stranger: I'm 35.

You: yup

Stranger: So, I have faint memories of the 1980s.

You: I was born int he 90's

Stranger: The 90s were a good time.

You: I have faint memories of the 90's lol ^^

Stranger: That was when we got a computer

You: sounds about right

Stranger: My uncle imported KDS systems to the US, so we got that for free.

You: huh

Stranger: KDS became Emachines, a company you might have heard of

You: nope!

Stranger: Your household probably didn't have to buy whatever the cheapest system at Wal-Mart was.

You: uhh I think our first computer was some form of macintosh

Stranger: Which are systems for the wealthy next to Korean imports.

You: yeah it's really interesting to look back at this stuff

Stranger: I sometimes wish I could go back in time, but then I realize that'd effectively be starting from scratch.

You: uh yeah, that doesn't sound very fun

Stranger: There's no real reason to look back on the past for me.

You: yeah I don't really look back this far normally either

You: do you still speak much english in everyday life btw?

Stranger: Yes, on a daily basis. To the point where I still sound American when I speak it.

You: Oh I didn't know that

Stranger: I have no issues with speaking either language, luckily.

You: mhm that really helps

You: how is your social life?

Stranger: Basically zero friends in Korea.

You: aww...

You: is there like a barrier?

You: being foreign or something?

Stranger: No, since I am not foreign in the eyes of either the Korean government nor the people.

You: ah, so you're just saying it's just you? ^^

Stranger: Yes.

You: introverted?

Stranger: Yes.

You: mhm I wish you the best!

Stranger: My parents weren't too hot on the idea of me ever having friends.

You: oh...

You: you're not around them anymroe!

You: seriously, are you doing okay?

Stranger: I'm doing fine.

You: okay ^^

You: I think it's different to be happy and introverted vs. unhappy and introverted, if you know what I mean

Stranger: Not to mention, after I moved to Denver, it became harder to make friends.

You: hm, why?

Stranger: I was 8 and in high school. Take a guess.

You: ah...

You: yeah that threw me for a loop

You: ordinarily I thought most school systems didn't allow their kids to skip too far for well... I guess social reasons?

You: idk if things changed or how things happen on way or another

Stranger: And being Korean in a majority hispanic school didn't help, either.

You: mhm

Stranger: Since that was basically right after the LA riots, which made Koreans and hispanics hate each other.

You: right...

Stranger: I did get bullied for that.

You: :c

Stranger: Metal lunch trays don't feel too good in the back of the head

You: that's terrible

Stranger: And neither does getting tied to a chair with an extension cord

You: I just can't imagine

You: people just...

Stranger: You'd think they'd show mercy on someone effectively half their age and size.

You: yeah

You: also for some reason I thought of denver as kind of like a progressive white place

You: but idk if that's just more recently

Stranger: That's modern Denver.

You: yeah

Stranger: Back then it was a rougher place.

You: mhm

You: I think you have so much in your past

You: it's a lot

Stranger: A lot of people do.

You: mhm

Stranger: Not everyone can have a pretty story filled with bubblegum and rainbows.

You: yeah...

You: it's just sad

You: or well, so many things that America turns a blind eye too

You: even now

You: a kind of semi-willful ignorance

You: in favor of narratives I guess

Stranger: It would've been nice if I didn't have to carry a revolver everywhere.

You: huh you were licensed to carry as a kid?

Stranger: From when I was 18.

You: mhm

Stranger: My parents made me get licensed out of pure fear.

You: mhm

You: idk if it's your generation, your family's socioeconomic status, location, or all of the above, but your story is just so much more raw and dramatic than those of other asian americans I've heard

Stranger: Probably a mix.

Stranger: My experiences are in-line with your average LA Korean in the early 90s.

You: right

You: I just didn't know the differences could be so stark through one or two generations

Stranger: Well, remember, a riot happened that moved the Koreans up the ladder.

You: yeah

You: or maybe there's a rift between asian americans who were hear longer versus the large influx that came in the 90s

Stranger: Probably that, since not a lot came in the 80s.

You: yeah

Stranger: I remember the first time I visited Korea, it was like a different planet.

You: mhm

You: (not that I have any idea lol XD)

Stranger: My uncle took me to Seoul in 1995, which was when I realized that Korea wasn't what my parents made it out to be (they made it out to effectively be a 3rd world country).

You: mhm

Stranger: I'd say it was that visit that made me want to leave the US

You: you went through a lot

Stranger: I do consider some of it to be a lot.

You: have you ever thought about writing it up?

You: idk assembling it into a narrative of some kind?

Stranger: I have, but I'm not comfortable with it being on paper beyond legal documents.

You: mhm okay yeah

Stranger: For example, in the file cabinet next to me I have every single even slightly legal document from when I was born until I was 30.

You: mhm... I should do a better job of getting my paperwork together

Stranger: Just opening it, there's three folders of medical papers.

You: hospital?

Stranger: No, at home. The folders even include every payment on every medical bill from back then.

You: ah I meant, you were hospitalized often?

Stranger: No. Mostly just payments from my birth, as well as vision.

You: mhm

Stranger: The vision papers are expansive.

You: right

Stranger: Considering that I've needed to wear glasses since I was 2.

You: what??

Stranger: Effectively, my vision is garbage, and has been ever since.

You: so it's getting really late for me, but I wanted to thank you for sharing everything that you did ^^

Stranger: Have a nice night.

You: thank you!

You: best of luck with everything and I hope you're able to make more friends!

Stranger has disconnected.

[everydaychurch]

Beauty from Ashes (Part 1) by Warren

When I was a very young boy I was raised  in a dysfunctional home devoid of any resemblance of a consistent, safe, nurturing environment. I longed for what I believed to be a normal, secure life. This was all I recall desiring. I needed to feel wanted. I yearned for happiness. In comparison I was envious of the life my friends seemed to be experiencing. I Questioned why feelings of love were absent. Why wouldn't I be convinced that  I was a nuisance, a mistake, a catalyst that caused the battles my parents, myself, and siblings where dealing with? My parents were both over forty when I came into the world. Unplanned of course. I was told over the years my mom never loved my dad and their marriage was one of survival for my mother. She had no idea at the time he was a monster.

To keep a very long story short my life up to this point was a chaotic fight inside a landscape of insanity. I had no choice but to be tough  24/7. Always on guard and seldom without fear; I was ready to fight. 

I witnessed violent, dangerous, and threatening life moments no child, let alone adult should ever see. I was let down by most adults around me.I trusted no one; but I wanted to.

People in my realm of influence were far too concerned with their own traumas, especially my depressed, manipulative father. He died when I was 7.  My biological dad was physically, mentally, and sexually abusive not only towards his children but to other children as well. I never would ever know if there was a good side. He taught me to read at an early age I guess, and ride a bike, but heaven forbid if I did something he didn't like beyond his ever changing standards and emotional states. The challenge being  you would never know what that might be.

 I ended up being the peacemaker in the middle of the violence. I still find myself doing that as an adult. Always trying to appease everyone. You try to appease everyone you end up pleasing know one. Its not you job anyways. It’s something I am still working on.

I grew up in shame. I attended 11 different schools and moved far too often. Many fistfights, suspensions, and one sided counseling sessions with school principles. People were scared of me.  One school even brought in then U-dub Quarterback Sonny Sixkiller to talk with me. He had no clue what to do. I can still remember the look on his face as he walked back to his car. The look of defeat.   I punched a nun once who slapped me and wore it like a badge. I was in 4th grade.

Single parenting was looked down upon in the 1960′s. My hardworking, strong willed, New York native mom worked multiple jobs so I was often left on my own to fend for myself; even as young as 5 years old. It’s no wonder I later lived through my teenage years willingly participating in the old 1970′s adage “Sex,Drugs,and Rock and Roll”.  One week a rebel  and next week Young Life meeting guitar player. I wore my many masks well. I fooled many a parent, pastor, friend, and teacher - but I was a mess.

You see, even though life settled down somewhat when my mom remarried, I remained rough around the edges. I had a good man in my step-father. No telling how bad life would have gone without him in it, but I was still carrying a darkness and sadness inside my soul without support or skills to change my situation. Yet know one knew or wanted to know. It was enigma because on one hand I wanted someone, anyone, to notice but on the other hand making every effort to hide it.

As an above average athlete, with a strong mind, and a budding musical gift  I had no lack for popularity. A good fastball, straight A’s, and an electric guitar are great smokescreens This fueled my ability to cover up the deep rooted pain I carried. 

These young years were where my view of the world was shaped. Experience being the teacher that shaped my view of God. I think it can be said life events often do. Good or bad.

Strangely I think I always believed in God, even as a young 3 year old. I once viewed an old family 8MM movie my father filmed, since long lost, where at that age I stood on a box pretending to deliver a fire and brimstone sermon to the neighborhood kids. This was double interesting since my family certainly never regularly attended church and if they did it was Lutheran. 

So not a huge surprise, even though my beliefs were so messed up in regards to the nature of God I made a formal “Altar Call” commitment to follow Jesus at 13 years old. 

In the years that followed, as far as I was concerned, I failed with that commitment over and over again. It was a yo-yo faith at best. I truly in my heart loved Jesus, yet at one point I screamed at God with my hands stretched to the sky, “ You obviously don’t love me”. For me I was the dirty, ugly kid void of any understanding of security, hope, love, and joy. I certainly had no grasp of the true heart of God. Yet I still sought His approval and acceptance based on who I believed I was, not on how God actually sees me. I didn’t understand how the creator of the universe viewed me until much, much later in life.

I left home at 18 and joined the Air Force. Yo-Yo faith in full action. I had my periods of going to church and living by all appearances a Christian Life. I also had spans of numbing drunkenness and partying.

Marriage to Kathy was the next big life event at 20, then my daughters came into the world. I loved them at the time the best I was capable of. My wife was a trooper as our foundation was rocky from the start due to all the baggage listed above. She had her own issues to deal with as well. By the age of 25 I had 3 daughters, spent 3 years living overseas, bought and lost a home, had a car repo’d, and gone bankrupt. By the time I hit 28 life was better but far from whole. I knew as a family and as a person God was needed to intervene and I recognized I had to make changes, which I did. I recommitted my life to Christ. It was good. For a while anyways.

By 30 I was already studying and preparing for the ministry. I remember fondly the happy day when I knew I was called. Kathy was excited too, but the deep rooted issues in my heart were still hanging around. Our first step of entering church ministry was a huge failure, taking a horrible toil on my wife and daughters. Our marriage never fully recovered after that. We were living with an open wound. It was already on a cracked foundation even before ministry life began. There was always a limp. 

When stress comes into the game of life  whatever foundation your life has been built on will test how well your home will respond. Will it stand? Will it have devastating damage? Will it crumble to the ground?

For me, every time stress arose I entertained the old thoughts; God is punishing me. He hates me. He really didn’t call me. Its all in my head. In times like these its easy to start passing blame on someone or anything. Hear me when I say this; “that attitude only magnifies your problems”. However, Ministry could at times look incredibly successful in the middle of a mess and there were times when it was. But the truth is there was always a mask. There was always a skewed understanding of the nature and character of Jesus. I could preach the truth of Jesus to others, but not understand those same truths for myself. I knew things in my head that my heart could not grasp.

in 2010, after continued ministry struggle, I quit the pastorate. My marriage was hanging on a thread now. My adult children didn’t like or want to be around me. I was barely surviving as a person. Kathy was beyond her boundaries of reasonable relationship with me, I don’t know how she felt about God at this point, but I know she was disappointed. My own confidence in church life was broken.I think she felt the same.

I didn’t think my struggles could grow any larger than they were at this time. I hate to say this but oh how wrong I was. 

After leaving ministry I went back to college. Kathy had a good job. My kids were on their own. I had grandchildren. I certainly loved my family,  but...I was horribly shell shocked. Ministry had become my identity. I had no other developed work skills outside of church, music or military, I had to bring in some money while in school, but my honest attitude was any job outside of ministry was below me. Then it got worse; much, much, worse.

My heart was broke - literally. It was revealed that I had, unbeknownst to me, long term diabetes. Diabetes had destroyed my heart. After 3 heart attacks I was rushed into open heart surgery or die. This mess brought out the absolute worst in me. Anger, fear, accusations toward God. My boiling point had been reached. In my mind these latest events were nothing more than continued failure, more punishment. I was mad at God. My wife Kathy had had enough. On Valentines Day, only a few weeks after surgery she asked me to leave our home. I was homeless or living with relatives for the next 6 months.

I began working on myself. I didn’t walk away from God, even in my anger. It got better. I worked hard. Kathy and I reconciled. We moved east to Detroit where Kathy grew up. Life was getting better again- for a while anyways.

Unfortunately the damage ended up being too deep for her.Two people who I will always believe loved one another could not get past it. I didn’t want to give up, but after 3 more off and on reconciliations she no longer wanted to be married. I was served the divorce papers on my birthday while in the empty apartment I had just removed all my possessions out of into storage. I was soon to be homeless again. A few weeks later I lost my job, then shortly later lost my mother to a brain infection.

The worst time of my life ever.

But something was different. I didn’t go through the mental up and downs with God. My church provided some money for a Motel 6 where I could  stay and eventually I got an apartment. I was still working, as my termination date had not yet approached .I still secretly tried to win Kathy back. I just couldn’t fathom what had happened and my marriage ending in divorce. After realizing nothing was going to change I let go and came home to Seattle.

I also went to counseling during this time and that helped tremendously. I began the journey of dealing with the childhood abuse and divorce. Through counseling during this horrible period of time my perspective on God’s nature in the midst of pain initiated the early stages of change. Wasn’t perfect of course. I had some follies and made some serious mistakes, but God proved faithful and likely had a plan of fixing me long before I did,  He was determined to renew and restore my life. My expectations were far short of His. His ways were certainly not my ways.

After moving back home I was pursued by a couple of ladies and I entertained the thought of dating. Bad move. One of those follies I mentioned earlier. I soon swore off the thought of dating and women. I needed to focus on myself. I was still obviously wounded. I still had difficulty with church and anger to some degree. It didn’t help that I lived across the street from a church I was once was on staff at (it was the only apt complex I could afford) I had to look at that church every single day.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2

[lordofthebigtimesupernatural]

AH OKAY I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE TAKING ASKS! So, I don't know if you've ever written something that addressed this, but in one of your past pieces (I think it was about Keith saying "daddy" for the first time?) you said that Shiro didn't like to think about Keith's past life... I'm curious! How was Keith's life before Shiro (+Shiro's reaction or whatever you wanna add)? Thank you! :)

Hello! This is the anon from earlier who sent an ask about Keith’s background (Single Dad Shiro au) and I actually stumbled upon one of your old one-shots where you explained it! So feel free to ignore my earlier request if you’d like! :)

Hey there nonny! So here’s a quick little fic just for you! I’m sure you found the ask here, where I talked about Keith’s past life with his mother. It was relatively short and Keith wouldn’t remember any of it but your ask inspired me to write about if Keith found out what his mother had done. So I hope you like it and thanks for submitting your ask and being so kind!

x.V.x

Keith knew his life was better with Shiro.

He also knew that he wouldn’t want to live any other life, than with his daddy.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t curious about what his life had been like. All he remembered and knew was that Shiro was his father, and that Keith was a Shirogane as long as he could remember. Though, the older Keith got, the more he was curious about his mother. At the age of thirteen, Keith was starting to change and figure out his way in the world. He loved his dad and he always would for as long as he lived but, there was still those questions that burned in the back of Keith’s mind. What had his birth parents been like? Had they been alright? Had they been nice?

Keith could vaguely remember a time when he had been seven-years-old when a woman from Korea had called their house and frightened not only him but also his daddy, and Keith had not been okay with it. Once Keith had learned that it was his birth mother, he’d been even more confused and angry that his daddy was so upset and frightened. He couldn’t believe the nerve of her, and had sworn her out of his life, because Shiro was all that he needed.

All that he wanted.

Except, as Keith got older, he couldn’t get that memory out of his mind. His mother had been alive and still was, meaning she didn’t die. Instead, she must have abandoned Keith as a baby and Keith didn’t know why. Had she known he was to be diagnosed with autism? Did she think he was a problem child?

Dark thoughts such as that flooded through Keith’s mind for months after he first began to rethink about his mother. For months a newfound hatred for the woman grew, and while Keith always considered himself blessed to have Shiro as his father, he was only the more thankful that he lived with Shiro and not his mother. He began to resent and hate the woman that had given life to him, and spent days imagining why she had given up her child and none of the outcomes were positive. Keith was able to keep up with his dark hatred for the woman whom he had never met, but slowly, Keith found the hatred burning out.

Until there was nothing left.

Leaving him colder than before.

Why didn’t she want me? Was she in trouble? For the next few months, Keith imagined that his mother had struggled financially. He imagined that it was only in her best interests to give Keith up for a better life, and that she had specifically chosen Shiro for his kind heart and bravery. He hoped that she had seen Shiro’s bright soul and hopeful smile and fallen in love with the young man from the army, just as Keith had grown to love his daddy over the years. After thirteen-years-old, he still couldn’t get over how lucky he was to have Shiro.

Keith would always love Shiro.

But…

He couldn’t help but wonder.

Eventually, Keith had spoken out about his thoughts at dinner, and he almost wished he hadn’t.

His dad had frozen, still in mid-chew when Keith had asked him about his mother. His eyes were wide and full of raw fear that Keith had only seen a few times before in his life. It was a look that Keith regretted seeing, and despised the fact that it was his fault Shiro felt so afraid. Shiro was silent for a long, long, long time.

He gently put his fork down and swallowed thickly, as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Keith nervous twiddled with the laces to his sweatshirt, feeling Red rub against his leg when he began to swing his legs. The silence etched on and Keith’s anxiety grew.

I shouldn’t have asked. Of course! Why would you ask you loving, caring father who adopted you, about birth parents who should be out of the picture forever? Who does that? Apparently Keith did, and he was regretting it.

“Dad, I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Keith stammered quietly, only for Shiro to open his eyes with a sigh. When Shiro’s eyes locked onto Keith, he was surprised to find them full of sadness rather than fear and his heart skipped a beat.

“You want to know about your mother?” Shiro finally asked and Keith closed his mouth. He did, he really did. But if it meant  causing his daddy pain, then Keith was ready to let the topic drop. Forever.

“N-No, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“You wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise.” Shiro said softly. Keith blinked. “I’m not mad Keith, please don’t get upset. I could never be mad at you for being curious. You’re old enough and you have every right to know. Do you want to know about your mother?” Keith was hesitant, though he knew his dad would never try to trick him, but he still didn’t want to cause any pain.

“Keith, if you want me to tell you about her, I need you to be the one to ask me. It’s your decision.” Shiro’s eyes had softened and his expression had melted into one of concern and love and Keith wanted to cry. How could he look at me like that, when I’m being selfish?

“Um, yes. I-I would like to learn more about my birth mother.” Keith finally whispered and Shiro nodded quietly.

“Alright. I’ll tell you all I know about her. But can I just ask you one question?” Shiro asked, moving his chair so that he was seated right next to Keith and could grasp one of Keith’s hands in his own. Keith nervously rubbed against Shiro’s hand and swallowed thickly before nodding.

“Why?”

Keith blinked, mouth frozen for a split second. “I’m not sure. It’s not like I want to meet her - not yet at least so please don’t worry about that.” Keith ignored the surprised look on Shiro’s face and continued. “I just - I guess I don’t know anything about her. I don’t know why she left me; I don’t know why she tried to call us all those years ago, and I want to know.” Keith licked his lip, avoiding his dad’s look of concern. He knew if he looked at his dad, he would chicken out and forget about asking. “Was I a bad kid? Did she not love me? Why would she give up her child like that? Was I really that awful?” Keith’s voice broke towards the end, revealing a vulnerable side that was usually firmly locked away from anyone and everyone. Even his own dad sometimes.

It broke Shiro’s heart.

“Keith, no, no. Sweetheart.” Shiro swooped in immediately without a moment’s hesitation and pulled Keith up in his arms. His son was getting a big for hugs, and often reminded Shiro that he was too old for such things, but every now and again he’d remind Shiro of that little quiet boy who loved hugs and would snuggle up against his dad. Right now, that was what Keith needed most.

“Don’t you ever think, for one second, that it was your fault your mom left.” Shiro stated firmly, feeling a deep growl burrow in his chest. Though, his anger was more so directed at said woman than his son; for all the hurt she had involuntarily caused Keith. He could never forgive that. “It was never you. Never.”

“Then what happened?” Keith sniffled.

“Keith,” Shiro sighed but never let go of Keith. Thankfully, Keith didn’t fight the hold on him. “Your mother didn’t exactly leave you. When you were about seven, I was finally allowed your case file and then told the circumstances of your residency at the orphanage. When I finally was able to bring you home from Korea, you were only about six-months-old and you had been in the orphanage for a month. It wasn’t long into your life that I met you, and for that I am blessed to have been apart of your whole life.” Shiro smiled fondly at the memory while Keith managed a small grin.

“However, when I finally looked into your case file, I was - I was deeply upset.” Shiro admitted and Keith swallowed thickly. That can’t be good. “Keith, I, I don’t want to put a bad spin on your image of your mother, but if you must know the truth then I’m not sure that you will like it.”

“I don’t care.” Keith said stubbornly. “I asked and I want to know. Good or bad.”

“Keith,” Shiro whispered. “The reason you ended up in an orphanage was not because your mother left or died, but rather you were removed from your own home. On accounts of negligence and danger to a child.”

Keith almost felt his heart stop and was the world turning?

Keith blinked when he found himself suddenly back upright with his father’s face staring at him worriedly. Shiro’s lips were moving but Keith couldn’t hear anything but muffled noises and a loud ringing in his ears.

Removed? Negligence? Danger?

“Keith? Keith? Sweetheart, can you hear me? Sweetheart, please breath. That’s it, take a deep breath. There you go. Keep breathing.” Shiro’s voice floated into Keith’s ears and he realized that his breathing was shallow and heavy. Quickly he fixed the situation and stared at his dad.

“W-What?”

“Keith, maybe we should stop.”

“NO!” Keith shouted and winced when Shiro stared unimpressed at him. “No, no. I’m okay. You can’t just not tell me after that. Please, I promise I’ll be okay.”

Shiro warily eyed Keith but decided not to protest. “Apparently on several occasions your mother had left you alone in her home. Without any supervision, while she was out. Neighbors would hear you crying for hours upon hours and alerted the police several times when you would stop. Eventually, your mother had left you out in the open near a burning fire, where sparks could have hit you or caught the house on fire, and you were found dehydrated and very malnourished before the police took you into custody and to the orphanage.” Shiro explained softly, constantly watching Keith’s face for any change in expression.

“And my mother?” The tone in Keith’s voice was so wrong. So void of emotion.

“She fled, before police could question her. No one had seen or heard her until she called us six years ago.” Shiro said.

Keith didn’t speak.

He stared blankly at the kitchen table, barely feeling Shiro’s hand run through his hair. Why had he bothered to ask?

“And then I met you.”

Shiro was startled at Keith’s sudden expression, when the boy didn’t speak for several long minutes. He looked down at Keith who was looking at Shiro, looking far more exhausted and older than he was. Shiro’s heart twisted.

“And then you met me.” Shiro couldn’t help but smile. “I remember a black haired baby, with the chubbiest cheeks I had ever seen and little train footed-pajamas. He had the biggest, brightest and bluest eyes I had ever seen and a smile that could stop any rain cloud. I remember a sweet baby boy who would smile at cats and dogs, who hated wearing shoes and would scream any time I tried to bathe him. I remember a little baby who gave me a heart attack the first days I brought him home, because he slept through the night and I remember a little boy who accidentally got lost in our neighborhood late at night. He was a precious boy who I knew I would love with all of my heart and soul for the rest of my life.”

Despite the newfound pain in his chest, Keith felt warmed by Shiro’s words and his love for his father came undone as it always did.

“Keith, I’m sorry that maybe your mother wasn’t what you were hoping for.” Shiro whispered and Keith numbly shook his shoulders.

“I’m okay.” He lied. Shiro stared at Keith and Keith felt his lip wobble. “Really, I’m fine.” Shiro continued to stare and Keith felt tears brimming in his eyes.

“I-I’m fine. I-I’m o-okay. I’m…I’m…I’m not okay.” Keith finally admitted and the flood of tears burst through the dam, leaving bright tracks on Keith’s face and Shiro’s expression softened. He pulled Keith up against his chest, closing his eyes tightly when Keith clutched at his shirt with such desperation. His heart cracked with every sob that came from Keith and his eyes burned with every shudder.

“It’s alright. It’s alright if you’re not okay.” Shiro soothed softly. “You don’t always have to be okay, and I’ll be here to hold you until you are again.”

“Why didn’t she love me?” Keith cried into Shiro’s shirt.

“I don’t know Keith. I’m so sorry.” Shiro said, wishing that he could take every ounce of Keith’s pain away forever. He wished that his son would never have to feel any pain or sadness that this world had to give. He’s been through so much.

“I love you dad. I don’t need her. I only need you.” Keith hiccuped, holding his dad tighter. It was true. While he was upset that his mother had neglected him, unsure how any parent could do that to their child, he was thankful because without her then Keith never would have met his father.

Shiro was the definition of what it meant to be a father, and he proved that family meant more than blood. Keith knew that Shiro loved him. He never made Keith doubt his love for him, unlike Keith’s mother. Shiro would be there for Keith. Now and always, and it would be enough for Keith.

“I love you dad, so, so much.”