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herohotline · 5 years ago

Text

Wet Clay (P.4)

Shouta Aizawa x Reader

Summary: You have a session with Bakugo and Midoriya- and then get called out by your co-workers over your relationship with Shouta.

Word Count: 5,500+

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Once you step into the school, you immediately realize how wrong this is.

“Hey,” you stop in your tracks as you speak, Bakugo glaring at you from over his shoulder. You try not to let it get to you as you look around the building, a frown on your face. “Wait here, okay?” Your brain is slowly formulating a plan- you’re sure it will work, but you need permission to put it into action. Bakugo fully turns around as you walk off, yelling loud enough to disturb classes on several floors.

“Hey! That’s not how this works! Where the hell are you going?!”

“I said to wait here, Bakugo,” there’s an authoritative tone in your voice- you don’t usually talk like this, but Bakugo is different. You already know that a session with him is going to be wildly different than a session with anyone else.

Don’t be a pushover, but don’t take control. Use your authority when it matters, but don’t beat him over the head with it. Someone like Bakugo needs more freedom in order to articulate himself properly- controlling his temper is going to be difficult.

As you step into the bottom floor elevator, you watch as he begrudgingly sits on one of the chairs in the lobby, his foot tapping up and down at a rabbit’s pace.

At least he listened to you.

---

It takes around five minutes before you’re heading back down the elevator, a pissed off Bakugo waiting for you in the meanwhile. There’s a smile on your face as you walk past him and toward the U.A doors. “Come on, Bakugo, we’re going on a field trip!”

“What?!” Bakugo, ever the demanding one, sprints until he’s walking in front. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but still, he walks with confidence.

“Would you really talk to me at all if I forced you to sit in my office?” Bakugo’s mouth opens but you answer for him. “No, you wouldn’t. So we’re going to the training gym. I hope you can handle it,” there’s a glint in your eye as you challenge him.

“Of course I can handle it!! Let’s go!!”

He responds exactly as you expected him to.

---

“This isn’t the training gym.”

You grin. “Really? What gave it away?”

Bakugo is right and wrong. This isn’t the training gym that he’s familiar with, but it’s still technically U.A property. The two of you are surrounded by a lush, green forest, the trees reaching miles into the air as they sit deep in the earth. It’s perfect for someone like Bakugo.

“Listen, I talked to Nezu about this and he gave the go-ahead. This is where we’ll do our sessions- the session we have now, and at any point in the future. I want you to be able to move freely, do what you want, and say what you want. But there’s a catch, okay?” Bakugo’s attention is fully on you as you remove your jacket and roll up your sleeves. “You have to listen to me, and you can’t run away until our thirty minutes is up. Does that sound like something you can do?”

His eye angrily twitches. “Fine,” he huffs. You place your jacket on a nearby rock and nod, happy with his answer. You have a feeling that he’s only playing along right now because this is a mandatory session Shouta gave him- so you’re going to do your best with the compliance you have at the moment.

“Alright. So, we’ll start simple. I want you to yell at the trees.”

Bakugo stares at you for a moment before he scowls, that scary look he often wears coming back. “You’re crazy.”

You sigh. “No, I’m not. You said you’ll do what I say, and I say: yell at the trees.” You point at the abyss of the forest and Bakugo rolls his eyes so hard that it’s possible they might fall out. “You have anger problems, Bakugo. You constantly yell at your classmates and your teachers- it needs to stop. You have to learn when and where to let out everything that’s burning in you. I want to show you how to control your anger and let it out in a healthy manner.”

“I don’t have anger problems,” he’s not looking at you anymore. He’s glaring daggers into the ground and you huff. You turn toward the trees, taking a deep, calming breath.

And then you let it all out.

“My sister canceled her Hulu subscription!” You scream at the top of your lungs and Bakugo jolts in surprise next to you, his eyes wide. Your body leans forward as you force out your scream, eyes tightly closed. “Now how am I going to watch my shows?! You want me to pay for it?! Fuck no, I’m not going to waste my money!”

Huffing wildly, you look over to Bakugo and give him a fierce grin. The look on his face morphs- and you think he finally gets it.

“Shitty Deku! Shitty shitty hair! Shitty extras! They’re all in my way- why do they keep looking at me like that?!” Bakugo finally screams, his face pleased but angry at the same time. You listen as well as you can- but you keep yelling to egg him on.

“Why do my friends always tell me to take it easy?! I know what I’m doing! Don’t tell me what to do!”

“Why does everyone think I’m a villain?! I’m a hero! I’m going to be the best hero there is!”

The two of you continue to scream into the forest for around ten minutes. Near the end, you have to call it quits because you’ve teared up your throat and you can feel your vocal cords burning. When you head to your discarded items on the ground you take out two water bottles- one for you, and one that you throw Bakugo’s way. He catches it with ease and then the next two minutes of your session is spent chugging water and catching your breath.

...Now comes the hard part. Getting him to actually talk about his feelings instead of screaming them out.

“Okay,” you take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Your voice cracks as you speak, but that’s to be expected. “That went great. I’m, uh… a little winded, but that was good.”

“I’m not,” Bakugo seems to have all his energy back as he grins and cracks his knuckles.

“Jesus Christ,” you groan, “how do you do that?”

“Practice.”

“...Right. So, are you ready for the next big thing? We still have…” You look at your watch. “Fifteen minutes.” Bakugo doesn’t bother to hide his angry, disappointed look. You huff out a sigh and look around the earth floor until you find a heavy stump- it’s the best thing to sit on, so you head toward it and make yourself comfortable.

“Since we’re ‘getting this over with’ and everything, let’s get right to it. What about Midoriya makes you so angry?” You throw his words from earlier back at him, crossing your legs and leaning your elbows on your thighs.

“Nothing,” he immediately frowns. “I don’t care about that shitty extra enough to be affected by him!”

“But you are,” you immediately argue, “just the mention of Midoriya has you tensing up. I’ll be honest- I don’t know anything about your history with your classmate. But I’d like to know so I can help you move on from whatever is holding you back.”

His eye twitches. “I’m not being held back! I’m stronger than Deku- better than him!”

“But it’s not because you’re naturally better than him- you’ve gone out of your way to become stronger to spite him. Why? Why do you need to be better than Midoriya?”

“Because I am better!”

This is getting nowhere. You realized that no, you couldn’t change Bakugo’s drilled in behaviors with one session, but you thought you could at least loosen him up a bit. But he’s too defensive- whatever answer lies in him is tied up with a lock and key that you don’t have to tools to unlock yet.

“Okay,” you purse your lips and stand back up. “Let’s do it this way. Every time you feel like you need to yell at Midoriya, Kirishima- anyone, I want you to hold your breath and count to five. Slowly exhale and move on. And then at the end of the day, I want you to come out here and let it all out.” You look Bakugo in the eye and frown. “Does that sound like something you can do?”

“I don’t see why I should listen to you,” he frowns back, hands going back in his pockets as his whole body grows tense with frustration.

“Because I know what I’m doing. I don’t tell you to do things to boss you around or to make you weak, I tell you to do things because I believe they will make you strong and they will help you become a better hero.” You slowly start to pick up your things on the ground, shrugging your jacket back on and straightening it out with a tug. “You can choose to follow my advice or you can throw it away. I don’t control you, Bakugo- I’m just here to help. If letting go of your problems and yelling at the trees helped… do yourself a favor and keep doing it.”

Once your little speech is finished, you head down the path you walked down to get here. “For now, we’ll end this early. Let’s get back to the dorms.”

Bakugo has nothing to say to you- that much is obvious by how he directly avoids your gaze and sulks behind you. Maybe you were harsh- but you don’t think so. The angry blonde just has a lot of thinking to do… so you let the silence suffocate you the entire walk back to the dorms, knowing that it’s a silence that Bakugo desperately needed for now.

---

Coming back to the dorms was slightly awkward since Midoriya was there waiting for both of you. You don’t really blame him- it’s not like he has anything else to do. Bakugo takes one look at him sitting in the common area before he loudly huffs and storms off upstairs, assumingly to his room. You stand in awkward silence with Midoriya until you can hear the sound of Bakugo’s door slamming shut, making both of you jump.

“Did it… go well?” Midoriya winces and you sigh, running a hand through your hair.

“As well as it could, honestly. He just… has some thinking to do. Do you think you can try to stay out of his sight for the rest of the day?” You frown as you realize how unfair that sounds “I know it’s-”

“No, I get it,” Midoriya quickly interrupts you with a sad look. “I usually do that anyway.”

Man, what a sad duo. You walk over to the young hero and sit a respectable distance away from him on the couch, immediately relaxing into the cushions as you do. You hadn’t realized how strung up you were until just now…

“What about you, Midoriya? You want to ‘get it over with’?”

“No, I’m okay,” Midoriya smiles at you with a laugh. “You look pretty wiped out, anyway.”

“I am wiped out. Details are confidential, but I think it’s safe to say we did a lot of yelling. I don’t know how he does it because I’m exhausted.”

Midoriya giggles at you- his nose scrunching up in a cute way. “That sounds like him. Ah- sorry, I’m not laughing at you!”

“No, I know. Anyways, what’s on your agenda for today?”

“Well, I was just trying to study…” You suddenly realize that you had completely overlooked the textbooks and notes on the glass table in front of you.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!” You sit up quickly, intending to leave before Midoriya quickly waves his hands in protest.

“It’s okay! I could use a break, anyway.” Without meaning to, your eyes move toward a burnt notebook on the table and you can’t help but be curious.

“What’s that?” You point at it and the boy beside you hums.

“It’s my hero notebook…” He softly picks it up- just looking at how he handles it, you can tell that it’s deeply treasured and you find yourself smiling. “I keep it with me in case I think of anything new to put in it… I actually wrote a bit about you!”

“Really?” Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and you stutter- “b-but I’m not a hero.” You watch as Midoriya flips through the notebook, going toward one of the last pages before he hands it to you.

“W-well, not technically, but your quirk sounds really interesting, and you’re helping everyone in U.A with their feelings… I think that’s pretty... cool,” His cheeks grow red from embarrassment, but you’re honestly touched. You read what he’s put on your page but it’s fairly empty. He’s written the name of your quirk and how you explained it to the class on the first day, and then a few questions he has written on the sides.

You hand the book back to him. “Thank you, Midoriya… I’m very flattered. If you’re curious, I can answer some of the questions you wrote.” You feel like it’s the least you can do.

Midoriya’s face lights up at your offer. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course! I’ll answer what I can.”

The boy grabs his pencil that sat on the table, eagerly flipping it between his fingers as he shifts in his seat, the notebook resting on his thigh. “Okay! So… I guess the first thing I want to know is more how it works.”

“That’s a good start,” you laugh and cross your legs, resting against the couch armrest as you think. “Well, as I said before, my quirk is about sensory. If I touch someone, I can temporarily increase any of their five senses: touch, sight, hearing, smell, and taste. I have to really focus on the specific sense I want to heighten on a person- if I do it wrong, all of their senses could be increased, or the wrong one and it would be too much. The human body goes into a shock if this happens so suddenly and drastically, causing a sensory overload. It can take someone out of commission for a while.”

Midoriya quickly writes down everything you had said- his eyes focused as he does. “And you can do it on yourself?”

You nod. “Yes. I actually use it in little ways somewhat frequently- like if I’m eating my favorite dessert, I’ll make my taste a bit more sensitive so I can really taste everything about it. Sometimes it can really ruin food, though, so I don’t do it a lot.”

“That makes sense-“ Suddenly, Midoriya looks like he’s thought of another question as his eyes widen and he looks up at you. “Do you think you might be able to strengthen other quirks?”

Honestly, you’d never thought about it and the question baffles you. “Well, I’m not sure. Do you have an example?”

“Well, Aizawa’s quirk is centered around his eyes. If he looks at a person, he can erase their quirk, but eventually, he needs to blink. And he can’t use his quirk if he can’t see someone… if you used your quirk on him, could it strengthen his quirk by enhancing his sight?”

“...Huh,” you say aloud, still stunned as you sit on the couch with almost nothing to say. “I have no idea. That’s a really good question.”

“Maybe you could try it out… you and Aizawa look like your good friends,” Midoriya mumbles and then writes in his notebook again. You’re once again surprised by him- did it really seem that way?

You suppose you and Shouta are friends, but not enough so that you’d feel comfortable enough experimenting on him. It’s an interesting idea, though.

“Anyway,” you laugh nervously, “any other questions?”

---

Midoriya and you talk for a while until you eventually leave him to his studies, but it felt good to bond with him. Midoriya is a very intelligent kid, and he’s surprisingly thoughtful as well. He’s almost the complete opposite of Bakugo in personality, but their academics match up fairly evenly. They have different thought processes, but they’re equally smart and driven.

It’s not long into the day before you realize that you have basically nothing to do. Bakugo and Midoriya have their studies, but you had left all your work at home, rendering you basically useless for the day. So around noon you finally decide to leave them alone for a bit as you head out to pick up your laptop and files from your office. It shouldn’t be a big deal; you’ll be gone for ten minutes, tops.

But unlikely things have a history of finding you recently, and as soon as you step into the building you’re loudly greeted by Yamada in the lobby, along with a quieter greeting from Yagi.

“___!!! I heard what Shouta did!!! You must be so bored!!!” Yamada booms, hands on his hips once he makes his way over to you at the doors.

You fluster under his intensity and laugh. “Oh, it’s okay! Shouta thought it was for the best, and he was right for the most part. I just came here to gather some of my work so I have something to do.”

You don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you said, but you watch as Yagi’s face grows more and more confused.

“Hey! You used his given name! He lets you do that?!” Yamada seems positively flabbergasted.

“Oh, well-”

“What is your relationship with him, anyway?” Yagi finally speaks, a hand on his chin as he stares at you. “Didn’t you both go out together for breakfast this morning?”

“WHAT!!!”

“It’s not like that!” You quickly deny as your cheeks grow warm. How does he know that, anyway? “He just felt bad for laying this on me, so he treated me for breakfast. That’s all!”

“Shouta doesn’t DO THAT!” Yamada yells. “He fucks me over all the time, you think I get free breakfast?! Yagi, this is weird!”

“It is. Weren’t you touching him last night?”

“WHAT!!!!!!!”

“Don’t say it like that!” You feel a strong urge to push the tall skeletal man over, but you know he’s basically just that: a walking skeleton. He might just fall apart, so you keep your thoughts to yourself. “He was looking tense so I rubbed his back! So what?”

Yagi leans over to Yamada- who might just make your ears bleed soon- and he whispers. “Shouta let them do that, by the way.”

He quickly slaps his hand against Yamada’s mouth before he brings down the whole building.

“It’s not like that,” if Bakugo’s therapy wore you out, it’s almost nothing compared to these two. “Shouta is just a friend of mine. I’m not looking for anything else.” They give you a look and you deadpan. “Really. Anyways, I have to get my work and get back to the students. So just… have a good day,” you sigh with exhaustion and quickly walk away from your co-workers, tail between your legs as you quickly find your office and shut the door as quick as you can.

How highschool. But you suppose it fits, considering you work in one.

---

Even though you had told both Yamada and Yagi to leave it alone, they really don’t. You’re thankfully hidden away in the student dorms, but somehow they got ahold of your phone number, and it’s been three days. Three days of them texting you about Shouta- or, in Yagi’s case, he asks you about your day (and strangely, Midoriya) sometimes and then other times he sends you random recipes he found online. But then he’ll bug you with his questions and you’ll ignore those messages.

You also noticed that even though they liked to tease you, they never dared tease Shouta about it. At this point, it was like a personal joke between the three of you that Shouta absolutely could not be a part of and you were reluctantly a part of. It might be because he’s a lot scarier than you- you can be easy to make fun of just because you don’t have the energy to be too mad about it.

But besides that, you still have work to do. Midoriya has been surprisingly reluctant to see you, and you know that today’s his last day before class. It’s now or never, so you head up the dorm elevator and softly knock on his door.

Midoriya doesn’t look surprised to see you.

“Hey,” you smile down at him. “Are you ready?”

The boy nodded with a ‘yeah’, his feet shuffling anxiously. “S-should we go down to your office, or…?”

“Well, it would be good if we did it in my office, but we don’t have to. Would you rather we do it here?” He nods again. “That’s fine! I hope you have a seat for me!”

Midoriya lets you into his room looking slightly embarrassed- the first thing you notice is that literally everything in his room is branded with All Might colors and design. There’s a beanbag in the corner and that’s about it, so you head over and fall into it with a giggle. “I haven’t been in a beanbag since college!”

“Y-you don’t mind, do you?” He stutters and shuts his door. He looks a lot more nervous than you expected him to be.

“Not at all! I like your room. It’s got a theme… but I’m not sure what.”

Your little joke makes him laugh and you’re glad. He sits down on his bed, crossing his legs and shuffling around to get comfortable for a few minutes. You watch him with an amused look.

“Alright, are you ready?” You ask him again and he quickly nods several times. He seems to be hyping himself up.

“Yes!”

“So- how would you like this to go, Midoriya?” You ask that first. “I can lead the session, or you can lead it and have me make my input whenever you see fit.”

You know he’s never been to therapy, like most of the kids at U.A, because he looks surprised that he has a choice. “Uhm,” he hums. “You lead it.”

You nod at his choice and smile. “Alright. Well, you know why I’m here- you had a fight with Bakugo several days ago, leading to your temporary suspension. Why don’t we start there? What happened?”

“Right. It was after our license exams… I passed and Kacchan didn’t. Kacchan has always wanted to be better than me… So I think it bothered him. He told me to meet him where we fought after everyone went to bed, so I did… Then we fought.” His explanation is a little lacking, but you don’t blame him since this is his first time really talking about it.

You place the iPad you brought with you on your thigh, making a few notes on it as you speak. “You fought. But what lead up to that fight? I’m sure there was a reason that Bakugo decided to lash out on you- and there was a reason why you decided to fight back.”

Midoriya’s shoulders tense and he hums again, his fingers making patterns on his blankets. “I’ve always wanted to be like Kacchan. I’ve always wanted to live up to his expectations a little bit because he’d tease me and say I couldn’t do anything… I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to show him that I don’t think less of him- but I’m not weak anymore.”

Even though he’s uneasy, he looks very sure about his answer. You make a few more notes on your screen.

“You said that you don’t think less of him- is that something Bakugo is worried about?”

He nervously laughs, a wincing grin on his face. “Yeah. I don’t know why, but Kacchan has always thought that I’ve looked down on him. It… bugs him. And I don’t know why he thinks that because I’ve never looked down on him or thought I was better.”

You think back on your session with Bakugo. He immediately got sensitive and tense when you brought up Midoriya… But the reason as to why is still a mystery, even with the new information Midoriya has given you.

“Do you know what caused his outburst this time? I heard from Yagi that he felt responsible for his retirement… how do you feel about that?”

He must really care for All Might if his room is anything to go off of.

“I… there’s a lot of factors in All Might’s retirement… It’s complicated.” Midoriya’s hands fall in his lap, twisting together anxiously. “A few other classmates and I helped save Kacchan when he was kidnapped by the League… that probably hurt his pride. And then that’s when All Might fought with All for One. I… feel a little uneasy about it myself, but I had no idea Kacchan took it so personally.”

You nod with a sigh. All these kids have collectively been through so much- it makes you feel uneasy knowing that, but you move on. “That fight was a very big day. The fact that several of you were there to witness it doesn’t make me feel very good, I’ll admit.”

You’ve always wanted to get to the bottom of Bakugo’s kidnapping. Midoriya has a lot of the puzzle pieces, but you try not to pry. It’s best if you get your answers from Bakugo himself.

The rest of the session goes with a certain level of ease. You notice that several times, Midoriya stutters on what to say to you or he grows a lot more nervous than normal. You also notice that it’s almost always when you bring up his quirk or All Might- Midoriya is very obviously hiding something from you. You’re not sure yet if it’s absolutely dire that you need to know what it is, so you try to back off certain topics that make him jumpy for now. You want to make him feel better around you, not worse.

By the end, your topic has changed to school. He’s definitely excited to get back to class- he told you several times about how he doesn’t like that he’s technically behind in everything. You admire his drive to be a hero- it seems to be the thing he’s passionate about most.

“Hey, Midoriya…” The boy had gotten up and out of his bed now that you’ve ended the session, but there’s still one thing left to do. He looks over at you curiously and you blush a little. “Can you help get me out of this thing?”

Both of you laugh as he pulls you out of the beanbag chair.

---

It’s your last day of technically-not-but-still-technically house arrest. Midoriya was bustling through the hallways and main area when you entered the building- but after your talk with him yesterday, you’re not surprised. You give him a high-five as he sprints past you and heads off to school, grinning as he eagerly says goodbye to you.

The kid was really strong though and it left your hand stinging with the aftereffects of his strength for a few minutes after he left.

But other than that, things were relatively normal. All the students have headed off and you helped Bakugo with the dishes so he was up in his room now. Bakugo still didn’t really like talking with you, but he didn’t seem to hate you. He just barely tolerated your presence, which you figure is the best you can get out of him for now.

It’s an hour and a half after everyone has left before Shouta comes over.

You don’t notice him- you’re so busy with your laptop that you don’t even hear him come in and walk over to you. It’s not until he clears his throat that you jump and look at him with wide eyes.

Then you quickly look back at your screen and frown. “I don’t know how you keep doing that.”

He chuckles at you and nudges your shoulder so you look at him again. You notice the paper cup of what is assumingly coffee in his hands- an offer for you. “Congratulations on surviving,” he says.

Immediately you smile and move to take the cup- but then you remember the two men who have been pestering you about exactly this and you freeze. “Um,” you stare at the drink, fingers twitching. You want it. You really want it- but at what cost?

Shouta deadpans. “What’s wrong with you.”

It’s not even a question- it’s like he’s just stating facts and you sigh, taking the cup reluctantly before sinking back into the couch cushions in shame. “Our co-workers won’t stop bothering me.”

You figured that Shouta wouldn’t know what you’re talking about since you know Yamada and Yagi stayed away from him about it, but he looks surprisingly understanding as he sits next to you on the couch. “Ah,” he sighs. And then he groans, a hand resting on his face and pushing his hair back. “I figured those two were doing something.”

“How?”

“They might not be talking to me about whatever they’re doing, but they’re the most obvious people I’ve ever met. They stare at me all day and expect me not to notice. It’s worrisome, considering that they’re both supposed to be heroes.” You snicker at his comment. “So, what is it?”

Squirming in your seat, you place your laptop off your lap and onto the glass table in front of you. “They keep wondering about our relationship and they like to tease me about it. That’s all it is, really, but it’s exhausting to worry over their high-school fantasies.”

Shouta tsks, a heavy sigh leaving him again. His hands hold his own coffee-cup, long fingers tracing the plastic top. “I’m just starting to know Yagi, but I can assure you that Hizashi has always been like that. He loves to meddle in my personal life- I should have warned you.” Then he lifts a hand to once again rest on his forehead. He doesn’t even look upset by their rumors, just Hizashi. “The fact he’s paired up with Yagi isn’t wonderful, though.”

You watch him with a smile. Now that you’re talking with Shouta about it, you can see how silly it all is. Of course, you knew they were being silly before, but now you just want to laugh. “Wanna see what they’ve been texting me?” You throw your phone in his lap before he answers, Yamada’s texts loaded up.

A minute passes as Shouta reads them. Slowly a grin grows on his face, and then he amusedly snorts. “These are hilarious.”

You grin back, laughing as you read some of them over his shoulder. Yamada got very creative with his fantasies- he was always trying to guess how you and Shouta ‘got together’ and what you do when you sneak off. “He’s very determined!”

Without asking, Shouta exits Yamada’s contact and moves to Yagi’s. “What is this?” He scrolls up several times and there’s link after link. You start laughing again, moving back to your own space so you don’t hover over him too much. “Recipes. I think he’s learning how to cook and he wants to include me in it.”

He clicks on one of the links. And then another- and another. “I had no idea All Might had a thing for sweets.” Shouta moves his eyes over to you, still grinning. You can’t help but think that it looks good on him. “He sure texts you a lot. How do I know you and Yagi don’t have something going on?”

“Oh, I’m trying, believe me,” you swipe your phone away from his hands and pocket it. “But I’m just trying to get his money. Do you know how set for life I would be once I manage to woo him?”

Shouta actually laughs at that one, leaning back on the couch cushions and throwing his head back. You quickly stable the cup he’s holding as you laugh along, not wanting him to spill it on himself. He calms down once he realizes but still cackles under his breath as he sits upright.

Once again, you’re filled with intrusive thoughts. Like how you think his laugh is really handsome, and how you’re glad that you were the one to make him laugh like that. You keep these thoughts to yourself as you cross your legs on the couch and finally drink some of the coffee he bought you.

“You don’t mind it though, right?” Shouta asks. “The two of them being like they are. Because I can get them to stop.”

You smile behind your cup. “No, it’s okay. I was bothered for a second… But now that I talked to you about it, I feel better.”

Shouta takes a sip of his own coffee, staring at you as he does. It’s all the sudden quiet as he looks at you- you hadn’t realized before how intense he can easily be. It’s like he’s luring you into his venus fly trap, encouraging you to do it- before he finally breaks eye contact, continuing to enjoy his drink. You blink twice to realize what just happened.

“Good.”

It’s right then that you begin to worry if Yamada and Yagi’s teasing is completely baseless or not.

367 notes · View notes

save-ben-swolo · 5 years ago

Note

After TROS, I’m not sure I’ll ever be interested in any new Star Wars projects that don’t involve the Skywalker saga or Ben Solo. How about you? It’s hard to trust DLF. Celebration will be very interesting this year tho. I don’t know what’s gonna happen but I’m not sure that its gonna go smoothly since the fandom is upset with TROS. But imagine IF there’s any hint of Ben Solo coming back or any project related to Ben Solo is announced, people will go nuts!

Ugh... consuming SW content in a post TROS world is... not easy and I hate it.

It’s.... frustrating because I already got into The Mandalorian before being burned by TROS and I was looking forward to season 2. So, I know I CAN be interested in projects outside of the Skywalker saga (unfortunately? Fortunately??). Currently I plan on cancelling my Disney+ subscription once my year is up out of spite (I should have done month to month but I WAS NOT expecting to be hit by this pain train of betrayal.) Maybe I’ll watch Mando season 2 at a friend’s place IDK.

I also (confession?) am still reading TROKR comics because (so far) they are EXACTLY what I wanted/was hoping for except now that they fucked up the hopeful and healing story that TROS should have been.... they’re... man they’re fucking brutal to read if you can’t successfully pretend they didn’t unceremoniously kill Ben (I’m really curious about the author’s reaction to TROS because he said he didn’t know the ending of the film while writing the comics and... “ow”).

I’m fully accepting the comics (so far) into MY canon while vigorously rejecting basically all of TROS (coping is fun 🙃.)

TROS was.... a perfect shitstorm (that should NEVER have been allowed to happen) helmed by two people who weren’t the correct type of storytellers (I’m being very kind here) to handle the completion of the Skywalker myth and (it sounds like) the production was haphazardly moved along for reasons (???) when the higher ups should have treated this project with the reverence it deserved and pushed back its release. I will NEVER AGAIN trust DLF to have any storytelling integrity and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive them for trashing the heart of the Star Wars universe (I seriously hope they hurt for this and realize how badly they fucked up).

All that being said, I’m HUGELY conflicted because I DO NOT want to support the “machine” that allowed the Skywalker saga to be butchered (and sent some really terrible messages along the way) BUT I also recognize that DLF has employed SOME great storytellers who truly understand what SW stands for and have turned out some amazing, meaningful, content (Rian chief among them). Real talk: if Rian’s trilogy happens, I’m going to watch it. Period. I WILL support quality content.

At this point I actually think I’d be more accepting of new stories NOT tied to the Skywalker saga at all, UNLESS it’s about trying to reframe or rectify what happened to Ben in TROS.

For example, I was honestly hype about the Kenobi series, and I LOVE Ewan, but I frankly don’t want to watch a show about a character who is that closely tied to the Skywalker tragedy. Like... I would rather fall down a flight of stairs than watch the adventures Obi Wan has on Tatooine while “watching over” Luke knowing full well how pointless and bleak it ends up being. Tatooine is now the place where Rey “Palpatine” metaphorically buries “the twins” after the last Skywalker dies young and she is then “adopted” by them. I never want to see Tatooine again, thanks.

I AM curious about what they might announce at celebration, but it will take A LOT for me to be interested in any content moving forward to the point that I’m willing to give them money again. As stated above, Rian is a “shut up and take my money” trump card, I’ll shamefully consume any “Ben is actually alive” content for peace of mind, and yes I’m currently finishing out the last few issues of my sad boy comics, but otherwise... I’m just going to hang back and see what happens with zero expectations and LOTS of spite.

#SW content post TROS #sorry that was a tangent and a half #this is probably the only ask I’ll get to tonight because my response was so long sorrg guys -_-#TROS salt #asks

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gaslightgallows · 5 years ago

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Spooptober Housekeeping

(cross-posted from Patreon)

Sorry, October Housekeeping. My husband won’t stop adding “spoop—” as a prefix to everything – he’s even using it as a verb now – and it’s infected me.

Anyway. There’s been a lot going on this month.

Master Vogelspinner (NaNoWriMo 2019 project)

1) To my personal astonishment, the NaNo prep reading is going very well! I’ve finished THREE of the six books I want to read before November: The Bloody Chamber, White as Milk, Red as Blood, and From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death. I'm definitely not going to get through the rest by the end of next week but I think I'm at least going to finish the ones I've never read before!

Next on the list is Deathless, by Catherynne M. Valente. I’m a little nervous about this one. I’ve started this book three times and only ever make it about halfway through before I am overcome by her command of language and imagery. Valente’s writing makes me despair of my own… which isn’t fair, either to her or to me, so Attempt #4 it is.

2) After a year of working on this book, I’m delighted to announce that I finally know what the plot is. That’s the plot, mind you, not the story. I’ve always known what the story is. The story’s the part that comes from the characters. The plot is what’s happening around the characters and what they are reacting to, i.e., the problem. I also now know what the overall theme is: the modernization of death care and the shift from taking care of the dead at home to having professionals to deal with them.

This realization on my part ended up being… unfortunately, very topical.

Sad Family Stuff

While Brian and I were on vacation in New Hampshire last week, we received word that his father had passed away in Texas. A neighbor has paid for the funeral services out-of-pocket, and we’re now working on raising funds to reimburse this very kind man, because he did not need to do that, but he did and that, that’s a Good Damn Neighbor right there. And we’d like to repay him.

Thanks to a number of very generous and deeply-beloved friends, as of this writing, we’re a little over halfway to our goal of $731. If anyone would like to/is able to contribute to these efforts, you may donate directly at paypal.me/eroivas, or you can purchase something from Brian’s Redbubble store (since I still don��t have any of my own merch).

We'll be closing our call for donations on Sunday, 10/27. Any proceeds in excess of the funeral expenses will be sent to Brian’s stepmother.

Annoying Patreon Stuff

Continuing on the delicate and uncomfortable subject of funds, I’ve noticed one or two patrons whose payments were declined last month. Folks, Patreon is a useful service but it doesn’t love any of us, not really, so please remember to check your accounts regularly to make sure you’re still supporting the people you want to support.

I’ve also had a few people recently who needed to reduce or cancel their patronage altogether, and to those people, I would just like to say: I’m sorry to see you go but I completely respect whatever reasons you had for leaving – or, in the case of reduced payments, thank you for sticking around in spite of whatever caused you to change your subscription amount!

Because while I do love money, I value your presence and encouragement far more. Thank you for continuing to support me.

…However.

The Lavender video

Due to these changes, I’m now once again $8/month shy of my first Patreon goal, a video about the Vanishing Hitchhiker legend of Ramapo, New York, which I just barely reached a couple of months ago. I’ve talked with my camera guy (i.e., Brian) and because we’ve already started the preliminary work, we’re going to go ahead with the project. But there’s still other stuff we’d like to do that won’t happen until we can cross that goal. So, if you’re able, please consider supporting me. Or supporting him! He also has a Patreon! It’s full of graveyards! And cosplay! And sometimes naked people!

In the meantime, I’m working on the script, he’s working on getting the equipment together, we’re both working on learning how to edit (Beware, patrons, for you may well be subjected to my terrible bumbling practice videos.), and we’ll be shooting some location footage at the relevant cemetery and street, shortly after Thanksgiving.

Et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseum

Let’s see, what else… Randomly-Generated Fiction installments will return in December. For the rest of this month and next, they’re being replaced by further chapters of The Egg of the Damned, the regrettable not-quite-a-novella I wrote in high school and am currently in the presence of retyping and rewriting so that I can make it 100% less racist (seriously, 17 y/o me, what the hell) and 3000% more queer.

I’d love to have it done and ready for publishing by April but I’m afraid that might be just a tad unrealistic.

And lastly – I’m thinking about going back to having reward tiers. Just having a single tier hasn’t encouraged people nearly as much as I’d hoped, so it seems I have to make more offerings unto ye readers.

So what would you like? I’m open to suggestions. Like, wide open. ‘Where are your manners, were you brought up in a barn?!’ kinda open. Stickers? Monthly postcards? The chance to prompt a short story? A cameo in a novel? Dev editing? (Fair warning, that would be a higher tier.) A Discord for discussion? I do not understand the Discord but if y’all want one I will learn to Discord.

Related: ever since I started this Patreon, I’ve been talking about eventually having merchandise of some sort for sale… but idefk how to merch. What do you want? What tickles your fancy?

Let me know in the comments on the post, or reach out to me on Twitter or at my author Tumblr @aflinley (yes, I have an author Tumblr, yes, it’s neglected) or, hell, email me at [email protected].

I want to knooooooooooow!

#gaslight blogs about original fic #oh right i have a patreon #aflinley #my alter ego in the hat #parent death cw #housekeeping #writers on tumblr #writers on patreon

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dreamingalto · 6 years ago

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The Most Intelligent Academic Thing I Have Ever Done at 2AM

So I needed an article about the history of my topic for my persuasive speech. This is the point where I go to Wikipedia and see where they got their info. So I did and I found the article which, if the wiki was anything to go by, would have what I need.

I click the link and it brings me to one of the journal websites thats like "Purchase this article for over $30!" And considering I am broke and spending $30 on an article I am only going to use for one thing is ridiculous, I needed to either:

A) Find a New Source

B) Obtain this source in a convaluted but free way.

Obviously, I chose option B.

I immediately scoured the internet (aka I searched google for about 10 minutes) and no free PDF could be found. However, I found a website that gives access to a bunch of academic journals, articles, etc. for a subscription. That was 49 dollars a month...

But they had a 14 day trial. It was my only hope.

So I made a stupid account and got the free trial (while making myself a reminder to actually cancel it before the 13th) and the way it was set up was that in order to download the actual PDF and not have to read it on the deep blue stupid website, you had to pay the $30 it would normally cost (minus a little discount).

At this point, I should have just accepted it since I could read it on the website right?

NOPE OUT OF SPITE, I NEEDED A PDF!

Luckily this website had a thing where you can print like 20 pages a month for free.

Article was 18 pages. Microsoft Printer to PDF is a thing. I got my PDF completely free.

And I cancelled the stupid subscription so it wont charge me almost 50 fucking bucks!

So yeah... that what I have been doing tonight... being a complete and utter cheap genius.

#really should ACTUALLY work on the speech #late night alto

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theheavymetalmama · 7 years ago

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The point I am trying to make is that Captain America is not the "Kill and punch all alt right nazis" hero you are thinking of. He punches Nazi in WWII because it is a WAR. In peacetime, you don't punch Neo Nazis unprovoked unless in self-defense or in defense of a person under attack otherwise more people will think Neo Nazi are victims. Neo Nazi have gotten stronger today BECAUSE people kept on feeding their victim complexes by attacking anyone they THINK are Nazis.

Selective memory much? I never said he would attack them unprovoked. I said that he’d beat the shit out of them. Yes, Cap’s a stand-up guy and would seek a peaceful resolution. The thing is though, Nazis don’t want peace. They don’t want to cooperate, they don’t want to get along, and they don’t want to share. They’re fucking Nazis. They don’t want to debate their opponents, they want anybody who isn’t white and any culture that isn’t theirs wiped off the face of the fucking Earth. So if you think “unite the right” wouldn’t have thrown the first punch at someone trying to stop them from being Nazis, you’re naive.

That goes double for neo-Nazis. The only people who would sympathize with somebody hailing Hitler getting punched in the face are racists and idiots, so what’s that say about the people going “Hey, you shouldn’t punch Nazis”?

Now to answer the rest of the questions you just bombed my inbox with. I’m heading to a conference first thing tomorrow morning and will be gone for a couple of days, so I may as well knock ‘em out.

"So go ahead. Tell me more about how he wouldn’t fight people who straight-up murdered innocent people." He would, but only if they attack first. The whole "This isn't freedom, this is fear" talk happened because Captain America doesn't believe in punishing people before the crime (unless he sees them attempting to kill people).

Being a Nazi is a crime; a crime against humanity and basic human fucking decency. They deserve the spite and ire that comes their way and then some. Bottom line, Nazis are shit and anybody who defends Nazis are shit too.

"The president is a Nazi apologist (among other horrid, vile things,)" How sad you listen to the news (how have a history of lying since the new tens started) about Trump. In really, he condemns the Nazis as well as Antifa. But you wouldn't know that by listening to mass media. He is awful, but not as awful as the media falsely claims.

I don’t watch ‘the mass media’ and I’d appreciate it if you would NOT act like a presumptuous pest. The last time I watched CNN was years ago at the dentist and that’s what was playing in the waiting room. Thing is though, I don’t need the news to know Trump is a vile, lying, homophobic, racist, misogynist, Nazi apologist bigot. His abhorrent behavior speaks for itself. If he wasn’t, it wouldn’t have taken him four fucking days to condemn white supremacists and he would have said some form of “Fuck that guy” when the leader of the KKK endorsed him. And don’t get me started on him breaking bread with Holocaust deniers, racists, and other such forms of human pollution.

Ever heard of victimhood mentality? Because that is you in a nutshell. After searching your blog, I realized why you leave your Anon on, because you secretly WANT Anons to bother you so you can enforce your victimhood mentality. You WANT to be full of rage and hate, you want to stay a victim, you want people to attack you so you have someone to blame for bad events so you won't have to look in the mirror. So here is some advice, turn off Anon and you will be surprised how happier you get.

Don’t patronize me, Anon. Your armchair psychology would be funny if it wasn’t so damn insulting.

I may have as many issues as a yearly subscription, but at least I wear them on my sleeve. Yes, I have an anger problem. I’ve been in and out of anger management throughout my youth and keeping my temper in check is something I still struggle with to this day. Yes, I’m a stress drinker and over the last couple of years I’ve been drinking more than I should, especially after my father passed away shortly after losing his battle with dementia. But I’ve given up drinking and haven’t had a drink since last April, despite having plenty of opportunities like the house being stocked and my husband and I going out on a fairly routine basis. Yes, I’m jaded as fuck and have little sympathy for people who fall victim to their own stupidity. I can be crass and insensitive, but I know when I’ve gone overboard will happily apologize and admit that I fucked up.

Having said that, your assertion that I have a victim complex can be politely summed up as such. Oh, I had something much more explosive and mean-spirited in mind, but I’ll save that for someone who genuinely deserves it.

If I wanted to be victimized, I’d walk into a country/western music convention wearing a T-shirt that reads “Metal Tops Country” over a picture of Lita Ford ramming Johnny Cash in the ass with a strap-on. I leave Anon asks on because I want to; that’s it. Do I get plenty of shitty people saying shitty things? Hell yes, but I also get a lot of good stuff, asking everything from medical advice to what beer best goes with grilled fish (the answer is IPA.) Besides, said shitty people who say shitty things are mostly idiots, so why should I even care?

"What you’re missing is that it was written during a time when Neo-Nazis were looked upon as either funny or pathetic. In short, not a threat. Not anymore" and who's fault is that? Easy, it's the media's and SJWs' fault. If the Media hadn't made all the claims that "Trump is the second raise of Hilter" and if SJWs hadn't screech "whites suck", the Neo-Nazis would have STAYED a joke. Instead, the Media and the SJWs feeds the Neo Nazi's victim complex and got more people to side with them.

That’s stupid.

These posts sum up everything how Neo Nazis and White Supermasicts got so much bigger in modern times.

It didn’t get bigger in modern times; just louder. This Virginia Peach here explains it better than I care to at the moment.

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What you want is heroes to punch every Neo Nazi and Alt Righters UNPROVOKED. The thing is that the only reasons the heroes punch Nazi was because they are in a WAR. The problem with with punching Nazi unprovoked in modern/peace times is that all it will do is make martyrs out of them and get more people to side with them. The ONLY times you should punch a Nazi is in self-defense and in defense of others (or in a war). Otherwise the Neo Nazis and Alt Right will get more powerful.

That’s bullshit. Remember when Richard Spencer went on this big country-wide trip to hold rallies and recruit more people to his cause shortly after Trump was inaugurated? Of course you don’t, because he cancelled all of that and slunked back to his Nazi safe space because he got decked in the mouth; twice. Or remember when ‘Unite the Right’ marched through the city of Boston? Oh right, that didn’t happen either because the people of Boston made it loud and clear that any Nazi who set one foot in town would be signing their own death warrant.

There’s a reason people respond to Nazis with violence; because violence is all they understand. It’s what their whole fucking outlook is based on; kill everyone that isn’t them. Nazis don’t care about diplomacy, they don’t care about peace, and they sure as fuck don’t care about getting along. So what do you suggest people do? Invite them for tea and biscuits and try and sort everything out? Joseph Stalin tried that once, then he lost half his shit.

There’s no debating Nazis. “We should clone extinct animals” is grounds for debate. “We should gas the Jews and enslave the blacks” is grounds for an asswhoopping.

"Now, are we done here Anon, or do you want to hit me with some more Nazi-apologist bullshit?" So you are using the old "They are against punching Nazis so clearly they are Nazi apologists!" and "Anyone who disagrees with me is a Nazi" attack, how typical. The point I am trying to make is that if you attack Nazis unprovoked, they will be Martyred and get more followers and you LOSE followers and supporters. In times like this, you need to take the high ground and avoid striking first.

The only people that would make martyrs out of Nazis are the same people who burn crosses and think soy beans feminize men, and they’d be doing plenty of stupid shit without Nazis getting punched. Fuck them.

Besides, what the fuck else am I supposed to call somebody getting butthurt over me saying that Captain “I was invented for the sole purpose of beating the shit out of Nazis” America would beat the shit out of Nazis? Also, those chucklefucks were brandishing torches and decking themselves out in homemade riot gear. They were LOOKING for a fight, so drop this “unprovoked” shit like a hot rock. Besides, you’re the one who’s suggesting that me saying that the fictional superhero Captain America would beat the shit out of the alt-right means that I advocate hunting down and beating the shit out of them.

Now I won’t lie. The last time a Nazi came within swinging distance of me, he spent four days eating through a rubber tube. He retaliated by pulling a knife on my husband. The result? My husband got a little scar on his arm and said Nazi now has more metal in his mouth than Jaws.

The other Jaws.

Point is, I’m not saying you should throw the first punch, though I certainly won’t lose any sleep if you do. I’m saying that if you encounter a Nazi, get ready for a fight, because I promise you they’re looking for one. Running or fighting is up to you, but if you try waving the white flag they’ll just wrap it around your neck. Sometimes taking the high road simply isn’t an option. When it comes to Nazis, it’s almost never an option. Remember; talk shit, get hit.

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lifted-drifter · 4 years ago

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“Started” the day by not wanting to get out of bed. Not sad, just super sleepy.

So I woke up late, and was finishing up the section of Jane Eyre that we had been assigned for my Women’s Lit class. Our class has been meeting on web x the past week on tuesdays and Thursdays and I’ve really been enjoying the discussion and the prof.

Legit 30 mins before class we get an email that this class has to be cancelled with options for other classes that would be available to us.

I still signed into the web x class meeting and the prof apologized and explained how her father was dying and she could no longer run the class.

So I’ve been spending the last hour finding a new class and emailing back and forth with my advisor as to what classes would fufuill my requirements so that I can graduate in the spring.

Finally settled on a 200 level course on Human Sexuality and while I guess that does sound intriguing, I’m just really shaken up by the changes that have to happen so unexpectedly. Not only am I joining this class a week already into the semester but I was really looking forward to the books and discussions we were having for Women’s Lit.

Luckily, I didn’t order all of the novels we were going to read, but it looks like this Human sexuality class requires not only a $150 text book but also an online subscription to the website where the class work is to be done.

Feeling a bit stressed and honestly was already feeling pms symptoms of wanting to eat everything and just lay around all day. But now I want to do both of those things and also just completely shut everything out today and do nothing.

Life is always full of unexpected bumps off course and while I always seem to be expecting them they surprise me every time.

I guess one thing I am thankful for was that it got me reading Jane Eyre. I am almost done with it and am going to finish it in spite of no longer “needing to”. As with everything I come across in life I have fell in love with the novel and it may very well be my new favorite book.

I still have one more web x class today in a bit and I really do need to be doing homework for my other classes but... I just don’t know if I have it in me today. Really just want to close all of my blinds, order some takeout and binge movies all day... that’s probably what I’m going to end up doing.

Hope everyone is handling their life hiccups as they happen and I know I’ll be okay too.

#personal #college

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cicaklah · 4 years ago

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thanks everyone who reached out, I adore you all and this beautiful hellsite, everyone gets a pomegranate.

the way we as a species talks about mental illness is constantly changing. I am ambivalent about the value in a lot of it, especially as I do believe that it held me back from recovery. I spent a decade confused and aching and physically in pain from ghosts and trauma that I was lugging around. I visualised it that I had died, and yet I was pulling the corpse of my old self behind me, in the hopes that someone would see that I was dead, and do something about it. That is what depression always felt like to me. It wasn't any way to live.

The way we feel is so important, and so immeasurable. We can only struggle to understand what the weird chemicals our brains squirt out are, what they do, and which ones have deeper meaning, and which ones are just...noise. Which are leaky pipes, and which are actual signals. Sometimes your brain gets used to squirting chemicals in a specific way, gets caught in feedback loops of perceiving the world and assuming that it is the way it is because of OUR actions. I used to work in an office where there was a leak in the ceiling in the middle floor. No one could work out where it came from. Every few days men came with clipboards, stared at the ceiling, and then left. They couldn't even work out HOW to find the leak. Every time they came, the men were a little more senior. They started out as janitors, and then a few months later it had been escalated to the head of the whole facilities department. They got the blueprints to the building out. They tried to work it out. In the end, it was solved because someone realised it was the building next door that was the problem.

There is a lot in the world we can affect, but there is also a lot we cannot. Learning to differentiate between those two things is the most powerful lesson you will ever learn as a humble monkey cursed by higher brain function.

I often tell other people "don't borrow trouble" when they are worrying about the world. Its more important than ever to remember that the lending library for trouble is enormous and never, ever calls in its assets, but it always charges.

We only have limited control over our brain's squirting of chemicals, but we have FULL control over our body's actions. So get out of bed. Make something to eat. Pour a glass of water and drink it all. Brush your teeth. Open your email/document and find the smallest, most inconsequential thing and achieve it. Force it. Even if it takes a long time. Even if it takes all fucking day. Get that one, little, stupid thing done.

Remember that spite, revenge and glory are great motivators on days that are bad if you need them. Remember that being successful in the face of adversity, even if that adversity is your own stupid brain that keeps wanting to ruin your life by squirting bad chemicals at you, its still glory. It still helps.

I don't think that we ever really acknowledge how good it feels good to be in the pit of despair. It feels secretly good to be at rock bottom, especially when you've often had your feelings invalidated. I know this is something I'm not alone in suffering, feeling bad for legitimate reasons, when I often feel bad for illegitimate reasons, to be justified, feels good. It feels Just with a capital J. But it is just poison, ultimately. Its an ersatz good feeling, its not a genuine one. Its like listening to a sad song and borrowing someone else's sadness and using it to validate your own bad feelings. These feelings are so easy to borrow, to hoard like a stupid, self defeating dragon that thinks its hoarding gold but its actually sewerage. Its much harder to actually force yourself to do the right thing, and make yourself be better, to force your brain to squirt in a way that benefits it. It is hard. It sucks. But not doing it sucks so, so much more.

Cancel that subscription to other people's heartache, don't go back to the trouble library again.

Cat is screaming, world is falling apart, what if I just stayed in bed all day feeling badly, putting out bad vibes into the world, just stewing in proto depression gravy. I think it's a valid choice.

#depression #feelings #mental illness

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villarrealmcdougall5-blog · 6 years ago

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nyranfoyle-blog · 6 years ago

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The Diary of Chloe R——-

Editor’s Note:

The following is a series of diary entries written in the Fall of 2017 by Chloe R——-. The last entry is dated one day before her death, which occurred on the occasion of her thirteenth birthday, November 27, 2017. All names and identifying information have been omitted or altered out of respect for the R——- family’s privacy. This document is for educational purposes only.

***

September the first,

If the definition of insanity were a sincere belief in the supernatural our world will be one monumental mad house. And it’s not like I’m ruling that out, but if we use the standards forwarded by the medical and cultural authorities of our time only a tiny minority would qualify as insane. Today the doctors came over. Usually we go to them, but these were special circumstances. They informed me in clear, unmistakable language that I am a certified member of the aforementioned minority. In my excitement I forgot to ask for a subscription to the newsletter.

More soon,

Chloe

September the fifth,

I did a little experiment. For seventy-two hours I acted as if the diagnosis our doctors gave me was the gospel truth. I exercised my (long neglected) capacity for faith. It occurred to me that if insanity could explain Harriet’s presence I should give it a chance. I had to second-guess my assumption that the answer I preferred was the objective truth. The experiment was and wasn’t useful. I became more sure of my sureness about my state of being. I am not insane.

September the ninth,

Harriet agrees with me about my sanity, of course. I know in the way I always know. No matter how much hell I raise she won’t open her mouth to speak. Maybe it was spite motivated her unchangeable resolution to communicate with me through the Tele Path, I don’t know. It was blue today, and it glowed especially bright. How thoughtful, Harriet. You’ve upended my life entire, but you want me to feel your sympathy. Meanwhile I was fantasizing about stabbing you in the face. Maybe I would have tried, but the last thing I need is more bad luck.

More soon,

Chloe

September the fifteenth,

Alex had his birthday party this afternoon. Somehow Mimi and Papa found out, and they were preposterously reverential to me all day to make me feel better. Mimi was delighted when her treacherous network of spies informed her that Alex cried and punched a hole in his baseball-themed birthday cake on account of my absence. Why would I care? Mimi and Papa’s assumption that because the big things are going wrong the little things are especially important makes no sense. Could it be that they’ve given up on their sickly orphan granddaughter? And now that they’ve forfeited the only fight that matters they are trying to gaslight me by focusing on matters entirely meaningless? Even for me that’s dark. No, the only acceptable explanation is they just don’t understand. I have no room for Alex in my mind right now. I need to keep my eye on the ball.

More soon,

Chloe

September the twenty-sixth,

We’ve been haggling for days on end. I hardly sleep. Somehow I’ve lost more weight. Where did it come from? Did I shed an internal organ? It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Negotiations are hopeless. Harriet and Chloe. Israelis and Palestinians. That is if the Israelis were constantly trying to convince the Palestinians they were star-crossed lovers, not mortal enemies, whilst continuing apace with their occupation of the West Bank (I wrote that for illustration purposes only, I have no idea what’s really happening in the Middle East, none of my affair, none of my concern). Some wise person once said “no one loves the man whom he fears.” As true as that is for men and men, it goes double for girls and monsters.

More soon,

Chloe

September the thirtieth,

Another doctor today. Young. Female. We acted out our little play in the mirror. I have it down to the letter, and she didn’t do so bad for a first performance. I described every wild hair and stinking pore on Harriet’s twisted body while the Lady Doctor pretended to take notes. She was probably doing a crossword puzzle. Smug bitch.

More soon,

Chloe

October the ninth,

Try this on for size: a delusion is a delusion when only one person can see it, while a God is a God when no one ever has. Joseph Smith claimed he walked with Jesus, and to this day the prevailing wisdom outside the confines of his cult is that he was either a quack, or more likely a con man. Faith is willful self-delusion. If it comes anywhere close to reality believers get nervous, not excited. It’s like getting a valentine from a cute boy. If you open it, no matter what it says, it’s just a scrap of paper. This is why so many mothers suicide themselves after having babies. Whatever form it takes, reality is a letdown. The powerful have to protect their faith, so when someone introduces them to reality they break out the straitjacket.

More soon,

Chloe

October the sixteenth,

Lady Doctor. Back again. She wanted to watch me negotiate with Harriet. Okay. She sat crosslegged on the floor and squinted in a patronizing attempt to see the Tele Path. It was blood red. Harriet can be as mad as she wants. She can hiss, spit, snarl. Her mood isn’t going to make any difference. Neither will Lady Doctor, but she pretends to be very interested.

More soon,

Chloe

October the twenty-first,

Strange day. Lady Doctor. She must have asked me a hundred questions as I listened to her muffled voice from the Tele Path. I had to remind myself not to respond in a shout. At first it was the standard headshrinker routine. Is Superman real? That one never leaves the rotation. I guess they think it’s funny. In any case, Lady Doctor started asking about Mom and Dad. They were personalized questions, but I had heard them all before. They’ve long since cracked the case. My parents die and I respond by developing a dangerous imaginary friend. When I tell them Harriet entered the fold long before the fire they develop spontaneous hearing damage. At a certain point Lady Doctor’s questions shifted. It was subtle. I’m sorry about your family. Do you ever dream about them? Yes. Good dreams or nightmares? Good. Do you get nightmares? Pretty soon that was all we were talking about. I described every dream and every nightmare I could remember. Lady Doctor was very fixated on the Gray Woman. A recurring player in my subconscious. Sometimes she’s a witch. Sometimes she’s my mother. Sometimes she’s a trash can, I don’t know. Oddly enough, I couldn’t think of a single dream without her. None of this was particularly interesting to me, but it was to Lady Doctor, and more importantly, it was to Harriet. She feigned impatience, but this was something else. She was lashing out. Stalking back and forth like she had to pee. Gnashing her teeth furiously and cutting herself where the top fangs hit her bottom jaw. At one point it almost looked as if she was going to speak. I have no idea why she had this reaction. All I know for sure is tomorrow I’ll wake up bleeding.

More soon,

Chloe

November the tenth,

It wasn’t difficult to find a book on lucid dreaming. There were so many. The real challenge was choosing between them all. In the end I went with one that reads like a textbook. “Lucid Dreams” by Dr. Anthony Ford, phd. Mimi hovered over me like a vulture at the booksore. Thank God she doesn’t know about Amazon. I would’ve had to wait days. As it happened I was able to read the entire book before going to bed that night. I’ve had weeks of practice since then. I’m not a pro yet, but I’m getting there. Soon I’ll be able to find the Gray Woman. She’s been conspicuously scarce recently. Isn’t that something?

More soon,

Chloe

November the eighteenth,

I got the bitch. Without a word of warning I wrapped my hands around her wrinkled throat. She tried laughing, then pleading, then cursing, then crying. Guess if it worked, go ahead. There were eyes shining all around us in the dark. It felt like forever. I was squeezing as hard as I could, but I’m only small, after all. First the Gray Woman went purple, then she went limp. I let go a few minutes later, after I heard a loud pop. Her face was familiar, but I had never seen her in the material world. She was too real to be an invention. Just like Harriet. How could my mind conjure up something so complex? I studied her face and hands for a long time. One by one the prying eyes were disappearing. Show’s over, guys. I went back the next night and most of the Gray Woman was right where I left her. Something had done a very thorough job relieving her of her innards. She smelled horrendous, so I lit a match and burned her to a crisp. It was a beautiful fire. I’m almost sure there was green in it. Harriet hasn’t opened the Tele Path since. I guess she thinks the silent treatment is some sort of punishment. Whenever I catch a glimpse of her in a window or a drinking glass she has her back to me.

More soon,

Chloe

November the twenty-sixth,

Tomorrow is going to make me puke. I don’t know what Mimi and Papa have planned. The doctors and the lawyers decided months ago. As long as there were no more incidents I could stay home until after my birthday. In hindsight I wish I’d just ask them to take me in September. Why expend so much energy covering up the scratches? For a party? It’s something about girls. They love big occasions. Every Disney film is about some grand ball. Girls put on shows, they obsess over holidays. Almost like they’re trying to make up for something. Whatever it is, I never had it. I don’t like attention. Or parties. It’s not that I dislike people. I think I dislike noise. I’m going to ask Mimi and Papa to cancel their plans for tomorrow. It’s my birthday, I can be dark and brooding if I want to. I think I’ll to to D——- B——- on my own and climb the rock. It’s so quiet there. All you hear is the wind. It’s the best place in the world to pretend I’m alone.

More soon,

Chloe

***

Editor’s note:

The next day, November 26, Chloe R——- went missing. Her body was discovered ten days later at a local nature preserve. There were dozens of lashes and festering wounds on the face and torso. The entire body was bruised and battered. The throat was hanging by a thin strip of tissue. Medical examiners estimate she was clawed and beaten for at least an hour before succumbing to blood loss. Multiple forensics experts were invited to review the case. By universal agreement, Chloe R——-‘s death was deemed a suicide.

This document is the intellectual property of the University of Pennsylvania Psychology Department. It may not be reprinted or otherwise distributed without the written consent of the department chair.

#fiction #writing sample

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aswadwrites41-blog · 7 years ago

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Sarcastic Quotes And Sayings

https://www.aswadwrites.in/sarcastic-quotes/

Sarcastic Quotes And Sayings

If you carry contempt for or mock something, the use of words that say something else but mean the other, then this is sarcasm. In other phrases, you are the usage of irony to do it. I guess, better than defining what’s sarcasm. Must I permit the subsequent listing of sarcastic quotes do the talking? Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old sarcasm quotes, sarcasm sayings, and sarcasm proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Sarcastic Quotes

Sarcastic Quotes About Love

This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. ~ Lorrie Moore

The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife. ~ David Ogilvy

Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability. ~ George Bernard Shaw

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~ Clarence Darrow

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. ~ Steven Wright

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. ~ P. J. O’Rourke

If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember! ~ Anonymous Feared

No, no, no. I’m not insulting you. I’m just describing you. ~ Anonymous

Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it. ~ Anonymous

Read: 20+ Beautiful Heart Touching Quotes Collection

I asked you for some lunch money, and you gave me a dollar? Your benevolence always touches my soul! ~ Anonymous

Oh, come on! I am not being sarcastic with you. You really sing well… In fact, you sing better than the wretched crows in my neighborhood! Damn those crows… ~ Anonymous

If a stranger offers you a piece of candy, take two. ~ Anonymous

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ~ Groucho Marx

You’d be in good shape if you ran as much as your mouth. ~ Anonymous

Types of People Eye Roll and Heart Eyes I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. ~ Oscar Wilde

Sarcastic Quotes About Love

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. ~ Anonymous

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ~ Sacha Guitry

Sarcastic Quotes About Fake People

Shocked thick guy using modern technology Baby Girl getting a Shot Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. ~ Anonymous

Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

Not all women are annoying. Some are dead. ~ Anonymous

This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door. ~ Anonymous

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. ~ Billy Connolly

If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction. ~ Anonymous

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately, it kills all its students! ~ Robin Williams

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. ~ Anonymous

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ~ Max Kauffmann

Check: Incredible Sad Status For Whatsapp

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question. ~ Anonymous

I can be quite sarcastic when I’m in the mood. ~ J.D. Salinger

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it. ~ Gene Perret

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. ~ Robert Frost

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket. ~ Will Rogers

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? ~ Anonymous

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? ~ Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes About Fake People

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. ~ Anonymous

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. ~ Will Rogers

Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. ~ Forrest Tucker

Handsome gangster Portrait of a surprised cat breed Scottish Fold It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I’m really quite busy. ~ Anonymous

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. ~ Drew Carey

You can be whatever you want; however, in your case, you should probably aim low. ~ Anonymous

Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up. ~ Anonymous

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. ~ Sam Kinison

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ~ Steven Wright

It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying. ~ Anonymous

Check: Attitude Quotes And Status (Latest Collection)

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. ~ Mark Twain

I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ~ Anonymous

I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job. ~ Jarod Kintz

I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you. ~ Anonymous

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. ~ Anonymous

You know there’s just one more thing to need to do after you crack a joke… Tickle the other person! ~ Anonymous

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. ~ Patrick Murray

Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29? ~ Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted? ~ Anonymous

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I are not sure about the universe. ~ Albert Einstein

Sarcastic Quotes On Life Facts

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. ~ Stephen Bishop

Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse! ~ Groucho Marx

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. ~ Cecilia Egan

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. ~ Joan Crawford

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ~ Woody Allen

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. ~ Erma Bombeck

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. ~ Groucho Marx

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. ~ Woody Allen

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. ~ Henny Youngman

You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate! ~ Anonymous

Read: Sad Quotes About Life

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ~ Groucho Marx

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. ~ Natalie Wood

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out. ~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Marriage is given and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. ~ Joey Adams

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than

electronic banking. It’s called marriage. ~ James Holt McGavran

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. ~ Oscar Wilde

Sarcastic Quotes On Life Facts

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics, I can assure you that mine are all greater. ~ Albert Einstein

Sarcastic Quotes About Annoying People

“Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”

“I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…”

“Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”

“Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”

“If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. It’s going to be while.”

“Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”

“Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”

“Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?”

“You’d be in good shape… if you run as much as your mouth.”

“If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”

“Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”

“Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”

“You always do me a favor, when you shut up!”

“Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again.”

“I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”

“Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”

“Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”

“I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

“Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!”

Check: Good Morning Quotes

“My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.”

“If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”

“You sound better with your mouth closed.”

“If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.”

“I’m smiling… that alone should scare you.”

“If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Annoying People

“If I promise to miss you, will you go away?”

“I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.”

“Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships

“Fighting with me is like being in the Special Olympics. You may win, but in the end, you’re still a retard.”

“Well, at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”

“My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”

“Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”

“Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”

“I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”

“I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.”

Read: Top 50 Best Collection of Funny Whatsapp Status

“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”

“Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”

“I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

“That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.”

“Life’s good, you should get one.”

“No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!”

“I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”

“Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”

“Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”

“I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships

“Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”

“Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”

“People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Work

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright

“When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”

“It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”

“You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”

“Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”

“If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”

“I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.”

“Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?”

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”

“If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”

“Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”

“If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”

“I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”

Check: Good Status For Whatsapp

“I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”

“I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”

“Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”

“Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”

“Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.”

“Find your patience before I lose mine.”

“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

Sarcastic Quotes About Work

“Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”

“My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”

“Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.”

Alone Quotes And Lonely Feelings

50+ Meaningful Quotes For You

Latest Collection of Whatsapp Status Love 2018

Whatsapp Status About Life In English

100+ Whatsapp Friendship Status

#WhatsappStatus #WhatsappLoveStatus #WhatsappSadStatus #LoveStatus #SadStatus #WhatsappStatusHindi #AttitudeStatusHindi #Shayari #LoveShayari #SadShayari #MeaningfulQuotes #EmotionalStatus

#Sarcastic Quotes About Annoying People #Sarcastic Quotes About Fake People #Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons #Sarcastic Quotes About Love #Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships #Sarcastic Quotes About Work #Sarcastic Quotes On Life Facts #Quotes

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kirksfattitties · 4 years ago

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WILL RIKER?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING WILLIAM THOMAS RIKER GOD DAMN FOOL FIRST OFFICER TROMBONE PLAYING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING WILL RIKER

STOP REBLOGGING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT WILL RIKER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY “LOVE” INTERESTS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM I HAVENT SEEN EVERY SPECIES BUT I KNOW HE HAS THE UNIVERSES SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said will rikers waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with will riker being in another star trek not only will i close the tab i will cancel my subscription out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive or onscreen

i dont even know why i hate him so much. he is just first officer but i am just mad because i am angy

paypal.com/IFuckingHateWillRiker

episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be him and I lost it

where the fuck is will riker if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty beard man

ill punch riker and his sad frail manwhore twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is a piece of trombone sheet music he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when riker died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the sad crusty beard man

what if i became like that one person who hates juergen leitner but about william riker

#rikerhaterclub #unsanitary #long post

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ramosjuniorus-blog · 7 years ago