#i am going to be sooo unemployable when he retires. lol

[coquelicoq]

also realized i've worked for my boss for. 18 and a half years now.

[timey-lives]

Fibro Kryptonite

Ladies & Gentlemen…..Let this PSA be a warning to us all….

When you have severe fibromyalgia (well I would think really any fibro) logic should dictate your activity level.

If you are in a severe flair for truly any reason, take care of yourself. Those dishes can wait or better yet, your family can help & if they won’t then let them sit. The cat boxes can’t wait but your perfectly capable spouse can and will do it even if you have to convince them how important it is that you DONT do it! The cats can wait a couple hours till said spouse comes home from work. Speaking of your spouse, Don’t let Those puppy dog eyes work!! You will heal faster by resting. Don’t let them work their whiles on you. Trust me, you’ll enjoy it more when you’ve healed and heal faster by abstaining temporarily!

We may be superwoman & supermen but overdoing it is our kryptonite so give it a rest instead of hanging around the kryptonite move away from it so we can be super again.

I say all this not only to you but to myself! I am still in the flare from my BBQ!!! it’s been weeks. I’ve broken every rule and I’m paying for it still! I thought I would feel better in a couple days since I had not felt as bad as previous flares but because I wasn’t as bad, I did all those things REPEATEDLY!!! And guess what? It sucks. My entire body hurts! My fog is horrible. Oh yea my balance is crap!!! Yep I fell. Hard! Landed on top of a large candle hurricane lamp thing (see pic of before I fell) Ironically I took that pic to show a friend how the candle had been melting in the heat the day after the BBQ. I was lucky! I didn’t get cut on the broken glass when I landed right on it! It shattered! Wood and glass went everywhere! I have scrapes and bruises all down my left side from My bum on down. & yep everything got worse from there!!!

To top it all off I had a huge hurtful argument with my son who came right out to tell me (in all his medical knowledge & degrees ya know –no he’s not a doctor. That’s my point) that fibro can’t even be diagnosed, that it’s just a guess and that I exaggerate how I feel. How I’m nothing but a liar & manipulated just like his father and the reason we didn’t work is because we are so much alike. He’s talking about the man who abused me every way possible for 9 years. The man I left when he was 2. The man who has beat him & mentally abused him. The man who caused the permanent severe nerve damage in my neck that doctors strongly suspect is the root cause of my fibro. He slammed my head into a basement floor that has a thin rug over the top of it until I passed out so hard that he did permanent nerve damage that caused pain for over 20'years that steadily got worse as the nerves became more and more hypersensitive eventually pushing my nervous system into over sensitivity and voila fibro.

This is who my son told me I was just like. I’ve never laid a hand on any of my children in that manner. I’ve never put them down or tried to make them Feel they were less then. In fact, I have always done my best to make sure they each knew how amazing they are!

Have I ever lied to my children? Yes. Was it ever to harm them? Never. Not once.

He also commented on my being on disability. I worked my entire life from the age of 12 with only brief periods of unemployment (the longest being from the time my oldest was born until my ex “allowed” me to go back to work when he was 6. During that time I was a prisoner of my ex living only to do what i could to prevent him from harming me or my children. When my doctor told me to stop working, I refused and kept pushing another 6 months until my neurological symptoms got so bad I lost the ability to speak. Literally. I then became deeply depressed for the first 6 months after my forced retirement.

I know I’m nothing like my ex. I sent my son information about what fibro is and how it affects different people. I sent him information on what a nerve conduction test is so he would know that I was being honest as I have medical proof that I have permanent severe nerve damage that is only getting worse.

All of this because I told him to do the dishes. It was cruel and unnecessary and I raised him to be better than that.

He did the dishes but we have barely spoken since and I have no Doubt that he just deleted the email that was meant to educate his ignorance.

I think that his subconscious reasoning for this is that he just can’t stand the thought of it all being real. That I am in the pain I say I am in. He has always been very sensitive but has an air of protective bravado about him recently. His father had a stroke back in March and he has been in contact with him more than before the stroke. Despite his stroke being severe , he has recovered fully from it despite not seeking medical treatment for 4 days. I swear the devil is looking out for him. So he is right back to his old self and it’s all just too much for my son I think.

It’s not an excuse though for his behavior towards me and my hope is that he recognizes how cruel he was and apologizes. I don’t want this to affect our relationship long term and he is about to get a job that will help him reach his goals which include moving out on his own again. It’s the right thing. No adult child should be so comfortable living at home with their parents that they don’t want to leave. It’s what our job as parents is….to raise them to be independent and not only survive but thrive in the world without us.

So yea, these past few weeks have pretty much sucked pain wise and with my son. But I have still been able to find wonderful fun moments in the mess

My husband and I are about to celebrate our 10'year anniversary since our first date. He took me to pick out a new comfy chair at La-Z-Boy. It’s perfect and will be here in 6-8 weeks. Right around the time our new floors will finally go in. We had a wonderful weekend despite my pain. We were alone for the first time in a long time and went swimming(gently). I played with my Snapchat and made a bunch of silly and nice pics. I ll include a couple here too. He bought us a nice sushi dinner delivered home so I could rest.

I’m still happy and still loving Florida. If I had fallen like I did here in NJ I would be bed ridden. I may be more like chair mostly ridden here but it’s better than there. Lol

. Ps Not sure how to add photos here sooo look for my next post to have the pics