#i am gods goddamn strongest soldier

[lyranix1201]

(part 1)Here are some of the plot summary of the nevermore fanfic that I have been writing or that I will write in the future:

(before I start, I am very sorry about all of the spelling mistakes on this post. my computer doesn't have a autocorrect feature, for some reason or I just can’t figure out why it doesn’t work. two of the summarys of the fanfic that I was writing, are on this post. that I Luckily had placed on one of my draft before my phone broke. so they are here. I have somehow saved them from being lost for eternity :)

(Mafia/ cleaning service AU)

Who's there?! Nevermore Cleaning service.(Current name for this fanfic. all of them might change in the future.)

Having a job as a cleaner is quite boring, but knowing that your life is on the line if you don't do your job properly—is terrifying. The well-known company known as Nevermore Cleaning Service, also known as N.C.S for short, never puts on their job description that it is associated with the mafia. Being a cleaner for the mob has its ups and downs and Lenore knows that better than anyone. She has experience it all, the bad and the worst. She learned very quickly in her career, that being an employee of this company, means that you have to do the dirty work, that no one wants to do.

Cleaning away the blood, disposing of the bodies well listening to jazz or classical music is oddly satisfying, to say the least. Sometimes if you’re lucky you don't have to do your job alone, but that also means that there are more bodies in your disposal. When there is too much work, they will grouped you up with three other people. Like in the case of Lenore, that's how she met three of her best friend, Duke, Pluto and Berenice.

On one of those boring days of cleaning, Lenore became acquaintances with someone new. She met the daughter of one of the most well-known mafia leaders in town, Annabelle Lee withlock. She met this girl at one of the most unpredictable location, a crime scene, of all places. Annabelle lee stated that “she didn't do it” but Lenore wasn't convinced in the slightest. Especially after meeting her more frequently, because of some random body that is laying on the floor.

Or

Lenore cleanse up crime scene's for a living, with her three friends (Pluto, Duke, Berenice). One day, she meets Annabelle lee on one of those crime scene. In Lenore's words she was acting weird (sus), they ended up fall in love. The end.

(I can literally imagine Annabelle lee killing some random person, just so that she can spend time with Lenore.)

[this fanfic is inspired by a video game called "Crime Scene Cleaner". that you can find on steam. but the full game is not yet available and I Don't know when it will released in the making of this post. I saw someone play the demo of this game (Jay from the kubz scouts) and I immediately got inspired to write a fanfic with the same theme. I'm currently still writing the first chapter and it has now at least over 1600 words and I have been trying to make the 2 and 3 chapter, even though I’m not even finished with the first one. There is a small problem that I forgot to mention, all of my fanfics are on my phone and my phone decided to die on me. so I lost everything that I have, allllll of it is goneeeeeeeeeeeee and I don’t know if a can remember all of the things that I wrote, to recreate it. So............yeah, that happened.]

Here is the link of the video that I watched and the game:

Video:https://youtu.be/obeqUaozSWg?si=1kvs9fBAlQ38VsD7

Game:https://store.steampowered.com/app/1040200/Crime_Scene_Cleaner/

(Train conductor Au)

The Everlasting train ride(Current name for this fanfic)

Lenore and her friends are stuck on a moving train that has been inhabited by people for centuries. They don't know how long the citizens have been on board this train, but one thing that the close friends do know for certain. Is that they have been occupying this train ever since they were children.

After the strange disappearance of the two Vandernaghts conductors, Lucille and Thaddeus, their two children were now destined to becoming the next train conductors after them. Lenore and her brother Theo are now in charge of the train and the passengers well-being.

The two siblings were investigating their parents weird disappearance to understand, how and why they disappear. The passengers assume that they are death, but Lenore is not convinced. Before their parents disappearance, no one was ever allowed to enter into the front wing of the train, also known as the control room. but now that they were gone, she and her brother are now allowed to venture throughout the area, until their hearts content. No one has ever been on this side of the train beside of their parents, so it is a big mystery of what lays upon those depths. Apparently this is where all of their parents belonging are kept and the belonging of the train conductors before them. This is great start in figuring out anything about their parents and the nature of this train.

With the help of her friends, Lenore starting solve more mystery around the train and discovered the real origin of its creation. she found out many things, one thing that stood out from the rest of course, is the fact that her enter family, has been stuck on this train for centuries.

After finding out the so called truth. she had enough of this place and made the decision to stop at the next train station that appeared. In all of the train history there were no written down instances of the train having new passengers, beside the ones that were already occupying it. But this time it was different, they acquired not one, but five new passengers, that weren't originally from this godforsaken train.

Where do they come from? what is it like outside? Why do they even want to be on-board, this devils train? What made them want to leave there homes, in the first place?

Those were all questions that the passengers and Lenore wanted to know. She didn't have enough time to asked the strangers any questions, they had to make a run for it ...... something went wrong. Now that there are five strangers in the train, can she trust them to not hurt the passengers?

The number one rule placed on the train conductors is that, the safety of the people is their number one priority. But what happens if she doesn’t comply to this rule?

(Your soul will be capt, in dark depths of the abyss, untill the devil's train presist)

or

Lenore and her friends are stuck on a moving train, she meets Annabel lee and her gang, and Theo and Lenore are basically orphans now.

[ like all of the other fanfic, I lost everything about it and I am really pissed. because one of the most important part of the fic, that I wrote is now gone.]

fun fact: when I started writing this fanfic, I wrote the summary, the plot, the things that were going to happen in the story and the 3 chapter (were the most important thing that Lenore is going to find out in the story) on a random Thursday. After I saw a random picture of a broken down train on Pinterest . Not even a week after, I went to my Portuguese school library and found this English book, with almost the exact same plot. It is so random, I never saw that book before in my life and that book was also never touched by anyone. I’m not even mad that I found it, because it gave me some extra ideas for this fic. after reading it, I found out that the only thing that the fanfic and the book have in common is that the main character father figures disappears and that there are trains is both of them.

The book is called: the railway children. ( It is a children's book and it was a great read.)

(pirate/fortune-teller(princesses) fantasy AU

The last gambit (current name of this fanfic)

[ this was my first ever fanfic that I started writing about the nevermore characters. I had already written a part of the first chapter with at least more than 1200 words. and now I don't have it. I don't have the summery, I don't have the chapter and I don't have the important things about the plot. JUST GREAT, JUST MY FUCKING LUCK :( . I remember that I wrote a short kind of poem in the first chapter, that I was really prude off, because I never wrote a poem in my life. And now it is gone forever.

This is what I remember about it, their are some things that are wrong, because I don't clearly remember what I wrote and I absolutely change some things in the end:

“pirates filled with greed, whom travel at sea, passe through the kafra will be on seen.

When you passe through the depths of the sea, You will perceive your pendant of hearts, in part of three.

Persist onward and venture through the lands of dreams, that is engulfed by dreams, Travel until enternity.

Your time can passe forward, my time can be kept, to be enternily yours in the depth of my neck.

My soul will life on, until your favourite word never, will be no more. Until I say there is no more. Until my dear friend says nevermore…..”

The last few paragraph don't make any sense, but anyways.... (This poem is important to the plot, I promise.)

here is a quick summery of the fanfic, that I managed to make with the last bit of my memories, that i have about it:

“She's a well-known pirate, who is known by many and every merchant who travels on the seven seas. in other words, she is a well-known thief who is hated by all."

“A pirate and a thief.” Annabell lee thought to herself well, observing the black haired woman a crossed the street. “What an intriguing combination, indeed.” A little smile appeared on her face, when she realized that the woman that she was a waiting for. for all of those years, was now stedely approaching her. her definition didn’t predict this, but it certainly did predict the presence of a: "pure embodiment of chaos" appearing on her front door step.

The only thing that she has to do now, is to play her cards wright. she didn't expect this to happen, but she is very glad that it did. with the help of this so called pirate, she will be able to get her ticket straight to freedom. (There is nothing straight about this, you know, because she gay..... Let me stop)

or

Lenore is a well known pirate and Annabell lee is a fortune-teller/princesses. Lenore is practically forced by Annabell Lee to help her escape her responsibility.

This fanfic is a fantasy au, so this is going to be all of the character roles in the story:

Morrella is either going to be a mermaid or a fairy in this fic. or maybe i should make her an hybrid, because i can't choose and because I can.

Lenore is going to be a pirate/ lost princesses

Annabell lee is going to be a princesses/ fortune-teller who can see the future.

Prospero and Annabell are going to be stepsiblings, because I said so.

duke is a pirate and wizard ( I don’t know okay, leave me alone)

will is going to be a shape shifter or an genie

Ada is going to be a siren in disguise, who is also a maid.

Pluto is going to be furry, I mean a shape shifting cat.

Eulalie is going to be a witch who owns a orphanage.

Berenice is going to be a vampire who owns her own bar.

Theo is probably going to be dead in this fic.

And last but not least Monty is going to be a asshole to everyone. He is also a thief and a pirate.

Puppet is going to be Annabelle's, teacher who helps her with her ability.

Dolly is practically going to be a nurse ( I don't know what to do with her yet.)

The dean's, Merry and mourn are going to be the antagonist, who likes to play games with Lenore and Annabelle.

[ i will post more of those in the future, but now i have to try to get my shit together and start slaving away and start writing. i am praing to god that the fanfic curse (ao3 curse) doesnt kill me (literally and figuratively. my luck is horoundes and im 70% sure that i am some how related to lenore, in some way or form. also i will use this post as some kind of safe in case something happens, so that i may be able to use it in the future to write my fanfic).]

Future me here. I won't be able to get my digital art and my fanfic from my old phone :(. I hope that I be able to get my phone repair, but knowing my luck it's not going to happen. I got everything placed on my grandmother old phone except my pictures, my fanfic and digital art that I have been making for YEARS and MONTHS.

WHY DOES GOD HATE ME

Also here is a picture of my phone now.

What happened to it?

I threw it at someone's head.

I'm just joking, My dumb ass dropped it on the floor. I tried to get the protection off, but apparently it is glued with the strongest glue in the word. some kind of fucking super glue was used on this shit, because it didn't even want to get off. I tried to get rid off it, but it didn't work and I accidentally hurt my self. basically i cut my self with the glass bits of the protection, so in the end, I gave up. Yes, my finger did bleed, but It was nothing to fatal. My phone is now unresponsive, so I can practically throw it in the trash now.

I have lost all of my picture, more than 300 song that I had download on this phone, digital art and fanfic. atleast I still have my Gmail account, I guess.

I'm not that mad about lossing all of the fanfic, yes I did lose all my progress but I can always make everything again. But my art in the other hand, I'm never going to get it back and now I'm sad.

WHY DOES GOD HATE MEEEEE.

My dumb ass didn't save anything on my cloud or drive, so I lost all of it forever. I hope you guys can learn something from me.

"NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, ALWAYS SAVE YOUR STUFF ON CLOUD OR DRIVE AND ALWAYS SYNCHRONIZE YOUR STUFF WITH OTHER DEVICES."

PLEASE DON'T BE STUPID LIKE ME.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[send-me-a-puffalope]

IT JUST HIT ME WHAT MY ISSUE WITH MY ART HAS BEEN, THE FUCKING,, LACK OF TEXTURE 😭😭😭 guys i figured it out, expect better nat art soon once school stops beating me with hammers like im the education system's favorite blorbo

[love-belle]

my sunshine !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're the 'it' couple and everyone's obsessed with them, rightfully so.

or

for when you find your forever kinda person. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - finally it's here!!! i really hope u like it!!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3

edit - changed it bc the person who requested it doesn't speak hindi x

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yourusername 💐

tagged landonorris

7,728 comments

username i think i just died and went to heaven

username SHUT UP EVERYONE

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username SHE'S SO ETHEREAL GODDAMN

carmenmmundt the most beautiful 🤍

-> yourusername all you angel 🤍

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lilymhe holy shit marry me ?

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-> alex_albon should've never introduced these two

-> lilymhe stay mad x

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charles_leclerc lando has been staring at this for 20 minutes

-> landonorris CHARLES

-> yourusername HELP

username lando is me

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landonorris woah hahaha hey

-> yourusername hello 👋

landonorris i love love love youuuuuu

-> yourusername i love love love youuuuuu more

landonorris HOW ARE YOU SO PRETTY

-> yourusername IDK WHY ARE U

landonorris marry me 🫡

-> yourusername is this your way of proposing to me

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-> yourusername no

-> landonorris what happened to "i like shiny things but i'd marry you with paper rings"

-> yourusername i have yet to see a paper ring so

-> landonorris wow.

-> usernames honestly parents

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landonorris something about taylor swift and saving me a seat at every table

tagged yourusername

8,528 comments

username THEY'RE MY PARENTS OMG

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username i'll be on the highway if anyone asks

username ahahahahahah im fine!!!!!! im okay!!!!!!!!

username ok.

danielricciardo highlight of the whole outing was watching you crash that golf cart and then cry about it

-> landonorris just because you can type out a comment doesn't mean you should

username I LOVE THEM HELP

username LOVER

username they're so lover coded 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username goodnight that's enough singleness for one day 🫡

username i don't know who to be jealous of tbh

charles_leclerc you should never be near a golf cart ever again

-> landonorris IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OKAY????

-> username WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE GOLF CART I NEED TO KNOW

username they're so in love it makes me wanna throw up (in a good way)

username screaming crying throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head

lewishamilton loved seeing you last night!! the golf inchident definitely made my week!!

-> landonorris so glad to know my embarrassment is amusing to you

username i need them to adopt me like now.

username lando i seriously need to know if u can fight or not

yourusername you're my my my loverrr

-> landonorris yes i am 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍

yourusername but they're all right, never drive a golf cart again

-> landonorris NOT YOU TOO

username lando malfunctioning everytime y/n LOOK at him despite being together for such a long time is so relatable of him like ACTUALLY

username god i am not ur strongest soldier 🫤

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yourusername chellam ( sweetheart )

tagged landonorris

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landonorris 4ever and ever my girl. i love you.

tagged yourusername

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yourusername a series of unfortunate events

tagged landonorris danielricciardo

7,928 comments

username I DIED OMG

carlossainz55 i feel bad for laughing

-> landonorris at least you feel bad, y/n just laughed for 10 mins and then made fun of me 💔💔💔

-> yourusername but i love you

-> landonorris i love you so much more

-> carlossainz55 THE TONE CHANGE

username THE DOLL IM CRYING

username i would sell my family to witness this irl

username y/n bullying her bf and im here for every second of it

landonorris did you really have to do me dirty like that

-> yourusername it's my love language

landonorris you promised you wouldn't laugh

-> yourusername i'm not laughing

-> landonorris love i can hear your giggles from the living room

-> yourusername that's not me lol i'm out with lily and carmen

-> landonorris WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M HOME ALONE

username Y/N TERRORIZING HER BF EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY AND I EAT IT UP EVERYTIME

-> username that's what he gets for stealing my wife thank you very much

lewishamilton pity i missed seeing it in person

-> yourusername i just sent you 8 videos of it from different angels

-> lewishamilton this is why i like you more than lando

-> landonorris fuck you both.

danielricciardo is it safe to come out of my hidden place?

-> yourusername negative. lando is still out on a hunt for you.

-> danielricciardo does he still have the fork?

-> yourusername it's a rubber spatula now

-> landonorris not my gf airing out my business to the enemy what is this economy

-> yourusername you're hardly secretive with the amount of noise you make every time you enter a room so !!

username they're so chaotic bruh i love her

username DANIEL'S FACE HELP IM CRYING

-> username it was at that moment he realised. he. fucked. up.

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landonorris sadly only 3 out of 26281927 made it to the gram 💔

tagged yourusername

8,931 comments

username SHE'S SO

username IM IN LOVE

username jaw drops to floor eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets heart beats out of chest awooga awooga sound affect pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out slams fists on table rattling any plates bowls or silverware whistles loudly fireworks shoot from top of head pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth wipes comically large bead of sweat from head clears throat straightens tie combs hair ahem you look very lovely GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF WOOF GRRR BARK GRR BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BARK WOOF ARF ARF WOOF

-> yourusername babe are you okay?

-> username ahsjdjdkeksmssd;;;;72hsshskksk

username she's so 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

lilymhe girlfriend 💐🤍

-> landonorris right??? MY girlfriend

-> username lando forever getting defensive with lily around will never NOT be funny

-> username it's bc he knows that y/n and lily can and will absolutely wife eachother up

*liked by yourusername and lilymhe*

username IM ON MY KNEES GODDAMN

username HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE GOD'S FAVOURITE

-> username this is me yelling at lando btw

-> landonorris pretty good haha i know how lucky i am

-> username GOODBYE.

username SHE'S A REAL GODDESS LIKE WOAH

username lando better wife her up before i do (threatening)

*liked by landonorris*

username im SOOOOooooOOO normal about this

carmenmmundt i expect an email with those 26281927 photos

-> landonorris duly noted

username everyone being obsessed with y/n is so real of them actually

username lando norris i am under your bed.

username she's for the girls and the gays i don't make the rules.

username IM SO AHHASHSJDHSKSK

yourusername thank you for being my personal photographer ❤️

-> landonorris only for you ❤️

yourusername also thank you for choosing good photos of me 🫡

-> landonorris that's so not true because every single photo of yours is the BEST

-> username im blushing and he didn't even say it to ME

username god me when.

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yourusername just look at him if you have a vitamin d deficiency ☀️

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username HE'S SO SUNSHINE BOY

username STOP HE'S ADORABLE

username im love with both of them actually

username no bc he's her sunshine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

carlossainz55 my eyes hurt from looking at this post for too long

-> yourusername they're being blessed so 😮‍💨

-> landonorris thank you baby 🥰

username lando always being 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 with y/n is so

username i need this couple like serotonin every day im not joking

username god i knew u had favourites

username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

username babe wake up my parents are being cute on the main again

lilymhe opened this app and saw this abomination what is this torture.

-> landonorris BLOCKED.

-> yourusername relax you both can be my side hoes 😘

-> lilymhe SIDE?

-> francisca.cgomes bebé ❤️

-> yourusername kika ❤️

-> landonorris that's a betrayal i did not see coming

-> lilymhe same omg

username HE'S SO GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYFRIEND

username that's a look of pure joy like im smiling by just looking at these photos omg

landonorris my ❤️

-> yourusername my sunshine ❤️

-> landonorris i just need to hear those 5 words

-> yourusername i love you so much

-> landonorris cute but try again

-> yourusername i won't wife up lily

-> landonorris thank you ❤️

username THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR IM DONE

username sigh this is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

[thedeathdeelers]

um…..;i keep seeing……glimpses of spoilers on insta cause that’s the internet for you but like…..girl…..i…..if love next door doesn’t end happily ever after….:i need to know asap so i can abort aS SOON AS GODDAMN POSSIBLE I AM WEAK. I AM NOT GOD’S STRONGEST SOLDIER I NEED FAIRYTALE LEVEL HAPPINESS OR ELSE I CRUMBLE

[venting-dont-like-it-dont-follow]

On this list of i am double triple quadruple fucked upand someone shouldkill me /nsrs.: i had a sex dream, again. It was about family members, again. I hate hypersexuality it can die. You know what i hate more? It was about a family member who assauled me. Fuckkķkkk. I didnt have time to pricess it this morning. Since you know, i slept trough my goddamn alarm. Again. God im a fucking lost cause sometimes. "God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers" yeah well i disnt aks for that or for agod. Fuxk off please. So far i have had 2 sex dreams about my uncle, 1 about my ungle and grandpa. And 1 about my okdest brother. Can i actially fucking slwep or only have nightmares? I dont fucking know. Maybe my brain is broken. Maybe all the thoughts fleeting trough my head is a sign i should go to a mental hospital. But hen again. Theyd provably fuck me up MORE. Yayyyy. A caretaker at the group said "sometimes these kids that come here go trough more in their short lifetimes then we everr will" and if thag didnt make me realise how FUCKED i was. I dont know what would. The cards were stacked aainst me from day 1 werent they? Yikes a rooni

[cantoaundiosmineral]

He was a reprehensible character, whom I highly doubt was anywhere near as handsome and seductive as history would like you to believe, undeservedly played by a seriously handsome and seductive actor in his prime. Problematic? Yes. Can I admire his beauty and his sexiness in a few decontextualized GIFs? I think so, yeah. Mister "Here, come take some evil inside you", yes, I want it. I need it. Consensually, tho. Then he does this weird, epigamic thing with his coat (cape?) or something. I don't care what it is, I just know it's hot. How subversive it is to be sexy, goddamn it. It's beyond reason. I'm trying to be an upright citizen, I promise.

This scene? I died. That big, sexy nose is going to kill me.

Limerent and delusional as fuck but his hunger is sexy. This is so wrong, oh God, lol.

What about this divine filth? He's not God's strongest soldier and neither am I when I look at him.

(Oh, we had an argument, you said? It doesn't matter now. Lie down with me.)

I want an awkward, nose-smashing kiss from this sexy-ass beast. Look at his skin and his nostrils.

There are other GIFs but I won't share those on main because no. He has no business being this delicious or being such a harbinger of sexual chaos. Jacques Le Gris was not some misunderstood, erotically attractive Lothario (he probably stank) but, well, here we have Adam messing up with our minds. I like him, I don't like the character's story. I hope that's made clear.

(I watched this movie at the theater with a face shield, 2 masks and was absolutely terrified of catching covid. I chose a place where they asked for the CDC card.)

ADAM DRIVER The Last Duel (2021) dir. Ridley Scott

[sootheher]

01

knowing better vs this is my first time, too

so much has happened this year. it is more eventful than i lead on.

what stirs inside me is more gnawing than it is annoying.. than it is devastating... than it is right from wrong. i think deep down, i want more than whatever life has given me so far. no, i need more. but i am also the same reason why i feel so detriment. i hold myself back. i can't even fathom what it's like to go after what i want. i'm too scared, it's too complicated, it's too much... all very human excuses that at the same time, just sound more pathetic than real.

i feel so lost and unheard. so wrong for being curious. so wrong for knowing what's right and yet still going against it anyway. i'm so worried about where i'm gonna be a year from now, what will happen to my current relationships, what will happen to me, what will happen if i stay or if i go. i'm just so scared of everything. for once, in my life, i want to stop being god's strongest soldier. i need a textbook answer. i need textbook guidance. i need someone who has been through it all, to come to my aide and help me figure things out. i want a cheat code because i'm so goddamn overwhelmed and i don't think telling anyone about what i'm going through will help me because no one will fucking get it. i just need caring, i just need empathy, i just need understanding right now. i want someone to hear me out, point out all my wrongs, but tell me that what i feel is okay because this is part of life. i don't want them to validate me just because, either. i need raw, i need truth, i need a slap on the face.

i just don't know what to do. i'm just so lost. i guess this is why, my theme song for this month and maybe for the rest of this year, is homesick by wave to earth.

i want to die (go home). i want to return to myself, before i knew what this year was (go home).

i want to be normal and i want to be liked. i want to just be fucking normal

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Hajime Isayama Vol.32-33: The Torture Continues - A Commentary

-i like how we know these people so well and they know each other so well that they take cues from each other. like, if even mikasa wants to stop eren, then how can anyone else think otherwise, you know?

-FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT, FUCKING THANK YOU HANGE, "GENOCIDE IS WRONG" IT'S THAT SIMPLE SOMEONE SAID IT, THE REAL MVP AS ALWAYS. finally someone with common sense and resolve, someone not speaking in ifs and buts, finally, HANGE FINALLY!

-this is such a random group of allies i love it, it makes me smile

-i feel so safe with hange, a voice of logic, oh my god.

-listen, i'm not even joking, eren's VERY CONSPICUOUS ABSENCE makes me so much less emotionally unstable that i can actually enjoy these conversations, like i'm happy to be here again

-i'm sorry, i know it's a tense moment, but lmao at levi's zzz panel

-part of me thinks that if we just don't see eren again, if we just randomly hear that he was stopped, i'll be fine. it would be terrible storytelling ofc but it hurts so much seeing eren like that, seeing his face and have him say and do these things

-what the fuck are you talking about, jean? armin has been saying that everyone should talk it over with everyone a hundred times over.

-WHEN DID LEVI BECOME THE TENSION RELIEF IN THIS GODDAMN MANGA OH MY GOD 

-jean's 'i can't forgive you' to reiner while they're still allied for their goal, i love this.

-the panels of levi sleeping with the zzz i cannot

-no offense, is armin going to do any impressive thinking post-time skip or...

-it's nice how everyone apologizes to everyone (before rocks fall and everyone dies courtesy of eren, lol. lol?)

-armin and connie acting their little hearts out to the yeagerists, bless

-MISS KIYOMI GOING IN FOR THE KILL!

-aww seeing armor titan and female titan fight together

-this is the second time connie's saving armin's ass

-i am actually happy to be reading this now that eren isn't hurting us by showing his face. like, if you put aside for a sec WHY this is happening... it's very  exciting to see what comes next

-does sensei want to kill everyone here on the port, bc he's taken out the colossus titan, he's taken out humanity's strongest soldier...

-ooooh falco's jaw titan looks different than galliard's!

-i don't want y'all to fight anymore either, annie, and not with eren either, what are we gonna do :'(

-oh no. oh no is this eren pov? am i about to get unhinged again? oh no. go back to your conspicuous absence, devil child, why do you hurt me so. i miss you. but you make me suffer.

-the fuck? ZEKE tells EREN there's no ingrained behavior to the ackermans?! so then...

-i hate this. i understand that it's all to protect them, but i hate this, eren. baby they can't live happy lives. WHY DID YOU SHOW YOU FACE, I WAS DOING FINE, I WAS HAVING FUN, YOU'RE IMBALANCING MY HOMEOSTASIS

-eren's new form, huh. god this makes me so sad

-'but i just can't accept an end like that' lmao me reading this manga

-eren please THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN, THERE MUST BE

-okay clearly i should stop hoping right here, there's no redemption from this. there's no redemption when we're shown innocent deaths at eren's will. okay. this is it then

-see, armin is a person also disappointed with the outside world that DIDN'T choose genocide, wow shocker, right eren?

-MIKASA'S FACE WHEN SHE SEES ANNIE WATCHING ARMIN

-levi i love you. stay safe

-what did mikasa want, armin to run after annie and kiss her or sth? mikasa you're projecting

-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IS FLOCH UNKILLABLE WHAT 

-like, in what universe did eren think the gang would NOT be in danger, that there wouldn’t be a good possibility that his own titans would trample his own people

-heh. armin the 15th commander :)

-OH SHUT UP "dedicate your heart" OH SHUT UP LEVI SHUT UP HANGE SHUT UP

-shine, my love. shine, hange. goodbye.

-"goodbye. hange. just watch us." who decided to give levi all the poignant lines, who. THEY HIT THE HARDEST BC IT'S LEVI!

-is there. is there an actual possibility that eren just... kills them all? surely not?

-NO! NO! AFTERLIFE SCENE?!?! I DID NOT EXPECT THIS FROM ATTACK ON TITAN, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! ERWIN!! AND THEY'RE ALL WATCHING! THEY'RE ALL WATCHING!!

-a little quick it was, hange's death scene, but they did get the afterlife scene, so i won't dwell.

-oh! commander armin actually lets us in on the plan beforehand! that's unusual for stories! that probably means it'll all go to shit

-this is exactly what the founding titan looks like, but why does it look so funny in armin's drawing

-man, i want to give mikasa such a big hug. her face.

-the thing is. armin especially, and everyone, are trying to analyze eren's mindset, like 'maybe he's testing us' or whatever, and every time we SEE eren it's actually a simple "RAWR DEATH!"

-humanizing eren through reiner because we actually HAVE humanized reiner through endless chapters. that's interesting

-WE HAVE BEEN SUMMONED! ALL HAIL EREN! ALL SHALL LOVE/NOT-LOVE HIM AND DESPAIR. i don't want to see what happens, i'm sure it'll be nothing good :')

-mikasa's plea is the best. share the sins that they're all guilty of

-ah, what wouldn't i give for a simple ass-kicking from levi to eren

-eren will fight us? :’(((. i can't believe that. i know i said i'd renounce all hope, but i am so sad. i am so sad. mikasa what do we do? whatever you say, i'll follow your lead

-the plot armor is strong on the marleyan cast's families

-yes, cool, everyone wants world peace two seconds before they die

-all due respect, i don't see how the 104th can do anything about this now that the power of friendship failed

-'We'll use all our (seven) forces to destroy him!" rocks fall everyone dies - in the literal sense.

-WHY ARE YOU YELLING EREN'S NAME AS YOU FALL ARMIN WHY ARE YOU BREAKING MY HEART WHY DO YOU KEEP REMINDING ME WHO EREN IS (or was, or should be) WHY HAVE MERCY

-eren be like, feel free to fight on my skeleton back y’all

-JESUS WITH THE SCHOOL CASTES ALREADY, YOU'RE TOYING WITH MY FEELINGS

[oliviasblogg]

seriously though, how am i supposed to enjoy anything when i know KIMSEUNGMIN is just out there. not with me. goddamn bro. god. i am NOT your strongest soldier fam. you have to let me be. don’t give me this knowledge if you’re not going to give him to ME. i am so delulu.

[dandorishipping]

announcement before i crawl back into my hidey hole

ok,,, 😔 i waited a MONTH for this bc i was in such big denial about it but it's gonna happen.

cypher wedding. 6/9.

yes i never choose serious dates for f/o marriages, no i will never choose a normal date. yone marriage was on 4/20, what else do you expect from me??? anyways. look forward to it. yes this is the most unconventional marriage post i've ever made but i just SUCK at this stuff hahahagewgejwngjew

(ok to rb-- i think people reblog marriage stuff in the community generally??? IDK LOL i'm so new to this stuff bc i didn't make a big deal out of the last marriage mgkamekgw)

[retrogradez]

mia healey | august 15th, 2021

[dear-mrs-otome]

please omg I’m dying I picked up the team sexy story from the election and it’s devolved into Emma in a gazebo with 5 soaking wet princes who are all preening in front of her like peacocks in various states of half dresses, trying to get her to say which of them is the sexiest.

(Also god i am not your strongest soldier i did NOT need to know that Silvio’s so ripped even Luke is impressed and he chalks it all up to the sailing he does - iwillnotpicturesexysailboatsilvioiwillnotpicturesexysailboatsilvio-)

Emma’s been doing her best not to drool now for like five slides over his ‘amazing muscles’ in all that wet clothing losing her goddamned mind over WHY DOES A PRINCE NEED SO MUCH BEEF TO GO TO SEA DJKFJJDKFJDF *broken woman* this is so funny 

GIRL PRAY HE DOESN’T CATCH ON OR YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY EFFED - oh no nvm she just reached out like Peggy feeling up Steve Rogers newly minted tiddies and he’s a yeeting disaster all over again. Your attempt at seducing the sexiest title outta her just flopped miserably, sir, and right in front of everyone.

ty for attending my live flail.

[daydreamslikewaves]

I’ve tried to stay silent or not voice my opinions too loudly but I’m just not god’s strongest soldier today. I’m just done with this insanity. Whole ass conversations analysing why a tweet was liked and disliked?? Good christ, my children, it’s not that deep! Swear down I am seeing more theories about Grace Van Dien’s behaviour than I am about ST5 itself.

The irony of the relentless persecution of this poor woman is that while these people are rattling off reams of theories like ‘omg she must have liked this tweet and unliked it because she’s weird and x y z’, what’s absolutely killing them inside on what must be a soul-destroying level is that - if we are to look at this entirely objectively - we know for a fact that they will never be able to 100% ascertain the answer to why she liked and disliked a goddamn tweet.

Meanwhile what we can do, however, is be 100% sure that these people are engaging in constant monitoring of her tag, her account and her content. Which is exactly what they are accusing her of doing to other people. It is just insane to me that people don’t see what they’re doing here, and that they choose to spend days, weeks and months driving themselves delirious with anger theorising about her behaviour and chatting absolute shit about her incessantly. Incessantly. It’s insane.

[funkervogt]

Im literally actually gods strongest little soldier by the Way Im Literally always saying this but also im right and im so strong and resilient for making it as far as i have and with so much self improvement under my belt like...obv im not close to done but goddamn im so much better than i was in summer plus september plus october Peace and love. Like not to pat my own back or anything but i am giving myself a pat on the back

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.