#i am eternally making dean look younger than sam by accident

[weaksspot]

long as i am loving you you’ll never be alone long as you keep wanting me around

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 4X19 Jump the Shark

Oh hey is this the illegitimate brother plotline

boy I love me some sweet sweet ANGST

whelp she's fucking dead

picture of JOHN?

Sam's peacefully brushing his teeth and Dean's Not a Morning Person

boy he's having a bad morning

to be fair, living out of the car is kinda not fun either

"I'm his son" Dean: I'm gonna fUCKING KIL-

he's..premed?

they're going to ruin his life too aren't they, Aren't The-

Dean is taking this really well

I mean he did get the brunt of John's Issues, so I get it, yike

ASDFPIHP them discussing their dad's ~sex life~ is very funny though

Dean was...preteen? when this kid was born? Sam was under ten definitely

Dean Please

No that's your Actual Brother guys PLEASE

hunting accident "ah fair enough"

"who is a nuclear family these days" FEELS SO LOADED

Dean...Dean please don't fUCKING KILL HIM DEAN

THE IMPALA NOOO

"he took you to a baseball game" IDSFHAPF

He's Trying not to CRY OH MY GOD NO WAIT

Sam resonates with the away from college thing oh NO

Dean is trying SO HARD not to snap

at least he's...trying..to keep adam out

corpse snatching => HEY LOOK IT's THE BONE STEALING WIT-

I think I need to stop being online jesus christ

the [both sigh] was so good

well...that's a lot of blood

How the hell do you break it to your illegitimate brother that you're ~technically Wanted by the FBI

at least he's not an idiot

HE'S SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN THEY ARE

I mean obligatory dead mom

"do i get a say in this?" "NO!"

no..no SAM DEAN HAS A POINT

Middle sibling + younger sibling gang up on elder

"have u thought about eternity" "bro i've literally been to hell Idk what to tell u"

Dean doing it solo but Sad is...:(

Oh he worked the old case, that's neat

"so it's over for you" welllllll

OO THE TRUCK SHOT WAS COOL

dean + long dark coat truthing tonight HE LOOKS G O O D

it wants revenge

YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR REVENGE BELA WAS R I G H T

and Adam Instantly wants revenge, you sir are definitely a Winchester

"it's life" WELL IT SHOULDn'T BE

the stupid isolationism I hate it

NO GO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE KRIPKE WHY

Sam's becoming his dad, and Dean isn't

...SAM WHAT THE FUCK

DAD MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT DO RIGHT BY YOU

HIS GODDAMN GRIEF SPIRAL GOT BOTH OF YOU

LET HIM BE NORMAL! HAPPY! IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW(NOT ALWAYS)(Also very close to the thing with zachariah in placement(eye emojis) BUT LEAVE HIM ALONE!

I do appreciate Dean Eldest Sibling'ed it up even if he didn't like the kid/was jealous. Goddammit I wish we got connection in this stupid show

I was expecting a jump scare but somehow the squish is worse

sOn oF aBitcH

Ah FUCK NOT ADAM TOO

I do like the little angel Icon though, that's what's Dean's way out

Ghouls is a racist term?what????

no john winchester was 100% a monster

ah it was their father

yada yada father killing circle idk

YAY! DEAN'S INGENUITY IS BACK!

Ghoul!mom is really really good. I liked Scared Adam better though

the slicing sam scene is BRUTAL jesus christ

So...John got his own son killed in the end...

SERIOUSLY HE WAS TERRIBLE

Dean JESUS CHRIST

awww caring Dean is nice

AWW HUNTER'S FUNERAL

"Adam's in a better place" :(

Dean tried to fit himself into the Dad box, Sam's actually him

"you take it any way you want" oh for FUC- HE- I-

he looked so Sad, so like...he's stopped idolizing him

jesus christ.

boy there's gonna be overlap ok here we go.

1. poor dean. Ok couple things: 1) he elder sibling'ed it SO HARd! he didn't even like Adam, but he still tried to keep him safe(I think). he gave him a hunter's funeral! I just. It was nice to see. It was also INCREDIBLY painful to hear the realization of "you were always like dad, I never could be" and the fact that he didn't even see it as a good thing anymore? fUCK man, that huRT me. Dean tried so hard to be something he wasn't, he got probably the brunt of the abuse(because he didn't measure up to that metric like Sam always would), and in the end all it got him was...just. so much pain. Like it felt like John left his Broken children behind to get a new one, and just turned them into his quest for revenge. It was SO So fucked

Hey actually speaking of

2. AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE BEING A HUNTER/JOHN? WHAT HTE FUCK?

YALL ALREADY MARTYRED HIM BUT UR MAKING HIM WORSE?

LIKE ok listen. John's kinda set up as the ideal of hunting. They martyred him! And I was halfway sold provided they didn't mention him again. Then! he did this thing where he abandoned his kids, seeing them only as tools to fulfill his quest for revenge, literally broke them(that too late thing+zachariah saying "it's in your blood" when really it was just trained from a young age), got a NEW family he treated a lot better. I just. I have...NO idea how I'm supposed to see him as a good guy here. Maybe I just kin Dean, or his plight is WAY more sympathetic(it is, Sam is kinda pissing me off), but John's just...coming off worse and worse and they KEEP doing it!

Also! this whole cycle of revenge thing! about how if you keep taking an eye for an eye, everyone ends up blind! they barely escaped this time, and I think this was the second revenge plot that I can think of with MONSTERS alone! it was a BIG theme! Like!! hunting sucks! revenge makes you end up in worse places! it's like this one episode was made to show how SHIT hunting was!

wait who wrote this

Dabb+lofflin. The hunting sucks always comes from-

this GODDAMN INCONSISTE-

3. Fuck John Winchester

4. Individualism. Ok this is a big one. Alongside the whole revenge plot thing(which is BIG, and a hunting sucks), this one drove home the sheer individuality of hunting. But while some of the writers see that as Badass, this one made it seem lonely, and painful. Like the flip side to American Individualism is American Chronic Loneliness. I know this one was used to process the ennui of the post recession/post 9/11 time, and it's doing very well for that, but it kinda ends up like this show is EVERYONE'S therapy all at once! the gang's all here! and we're gonna traumatize you in the process as well.

EDIT: and yeah yeah yada yada american individualism is King and then so is it’s accompanying loneliness in the post 9/11 post war in iraq post recession world(we were not having fun in 08/09)

and I get that this show is the writer’s therapy and whatever

(I just thing this is phrased better)

5. bring him back. Connect! Look. I know it breaks the core ethos of this episode. But having Weird Esoteric Hunter siblings would have been SO FUNNY!

give me more sibling content! Sam+Adam teaming up against the Eldest Sibling Dean WAS SO FUNNY! I WANT MORE OF THAT

6. SAM WHAT THE FU-. Look. I hate John. I very much hate John. They set up the Sam/Dean dichotomy in regards to John first episode, and Sam acting more like an ass+like his dad is. Not making me like him. Also I feel like this was written to sympathize with Dean. Which makes the finale even more ironic, I feel.

7. Listen. Listen. One of you has to keep track of continuity. Like I know this becomes a WAY bigger problem later in the series, but if a certain writer wants to process/examine a certain part of the Life/Story(and they should, they set up a lot of interesting stuff), they have to keep track! Because then the show becomes everything all at once.

Like this show has ALREADY started feeling like fanfic of itself, where it just kinda does whatever it wants with its own concepts. And the concepts are GREAT! but you can TELL how inconsistent it is, even in the kripke era

like it ends up being Study of X, Riff on X! and I think that's where the inconsistency comes from. It's also why it's so fucking Excellent in places.

whelp this was a lot holy hell.

OH AND ONE MORE THING!

Bela didn't fit the narrative. That's why they didn't like her. I said at the beginning that an Int'l art thief does NOT fit the vibe of "grungy Angsty American Midwestern gothic" and I was right. With the lucifer story and the vibe she didn't fit, and so they just killed her as foreshadowing, and only used her like that. God I wish they'd riffed on her, especially because her callouts were all completely correct

we're Bela Salting again

listen she was preppy Jack Sparrow with some spiritualism, how dare you tell me not to like her.

[deans-baby-momma]

AFFLICTED-Part 7

A/N: I realized late last night that I don’t think I have given credit where credit is due. First off, this lovely aesthetic was made by @deanwanddamons. I told her what I needed and she more than delivered. Second, my BFF, the one who keeps me grounded @lostinaseaoffictionalbliss. She has been my beta since I began writing The Padackles Link back in 2018!! So I want to take a minutes to thank those two ladies. THANK YOU!

Life in the Bunker quickly returns to normal after Cas healed Dean. A few days after he is cured we all help Dean carry all his physical therapy equipment and wheelchair to the clearing near the Bunker and burn it.

Dean takes great joy in salting and burning the pile. When Sam inquires about it, Dean just says he was taking no chances of it coming back to haunt him. We all chuckle but Dean is dead serious; that is part of his life he never wants to have to relive.

He and I stand with our arms around one another at the edge of the burn line until the final flames die out, leaving a mound of nothing but ash and a few metal bars.

“I never want to fucking feel like that again,” Dean murmurs. “I felt useless, worthless, just completely incompetent.” I hug him tighter at his confession. “You know I even prayed you would smarten up and take Mav and leave me,” he says and then kisses the crown of my head.

I pull away and look up at him in shock. “What?!” I cannot believe I heard what he said. “Why would you want that? How can you even consider that?” My voice gets louder the more I speak. “That was never even a goddamn option, Dean!” By now I am practically screaming and the tears flow freely down my cheeks. Good thing we have no neighbors.

“Baby,” Dean says, reaching his hand out in my direction. “I was depressed, okay. I was no help to anyone. I couldn’t walk, so hunting was out of the question. Hell I couldn’t even make love to my beautiful wife and I didn’t know if I ever would. You didn’t deserve that.”

I sniff as I listen to him explain his reasoning. “Don’t cry sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

I allow him to pull me into his chest, where I bury my face, tears soaking into his henley. He holds me close until I finally get it all out and look up at him. He wipes away the remaining tears with his thumb. “I am so sorry I upset you.”

“Dean WInchester, I love you; every inch of you. When I said in my vows that I promise to love you through everything, even death, I meant each word. I will love you forever and be by your side for eternity.” 

“I love you too, Y/N,” he answers before leaning down and placing his lips on mine. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I would ever be able to walk again. It wasn’t fair to you, it wasn’t fair to Mav. Or to anyone. The last six months Adam has been more of a dad to our daughter. She’s gonna think he is her dad.”

I couldn’t help but tense up at that. I had noticed Adam had been caring more for my daughter than his own brother. When I confronted him about it some weeks ago, he had shrugged and said, ‘She’s a part of you. Makes me feel close to you.'

Adam’s explanation had made me feel awkward but I had shrugged it off. Him watching Mavelin freed my time up to tend to Dean’s needs. I just hadn’t realized that my husband had noticed just how much time his youngest brother was spending with our daughter. 

"No, Dean. Mavelin knows who her daddy is," I reassure him. "She loves you so much. She misses you."

"I miss her too," Dean says with a smile. "Why don't we go spend some time with our girl?"

You nod your head and the two of you walk arm in arm back to the entrance of the Bunker.

DEAN'S POV

"So, get this," my brother says the next morning as he walks into the kitchen of the Bunker with his laptop in his arms.

"No."

"Dean, there's a case in Idaho…"

"And I don't care.  I just got my legs back," I tell him. "I just want to enjoy some time with my wife and daughter."

"But," he begins again, only for me to cut him off.

"I said no," I huff as I pour the creamer in Y/N’s coffee just the way she likes it. I just want some time off from trying to save the world; some time to spend with my family. We are gone on hunts too much as it is. The accident gave me a new perspective on life.

He turns to leave the room, mumbling about something I couldn’t quite make out. I place the mugs on a tray along with some cereal, bowls, and spoons and head back to our bedroom. 

When I had rolled out of bed earlier, Y/N was still sleeping but while I was waiting for the coffee to perk, I heard her get up when Mavelin started crying. So I know she is awake and we could eat breakfast together in bed.

As I near the room, I can hear her talking to Mav while she is feeding her. I smile as I listen to her telling our daughter what a good girl she is, how much she is loved. And I have to agree, that little girl is loved immensely and deeply.

In my younger days, I never thought I’d ever have a family to call my own. Someone who could love me for me; someone who would look over my recklessness and careless attitude to want to be with me, marry me even! It still amazes me. 

And then we created a life together. A little girl who stole my heart the moment I knew of her existence. A baby I watched grow inside her mother until the day she entered this world, then my heart was overflowing with love and adoration for the little green-eyed, dirty blonde-haired beauty. 

Mavelin Francine Winchester is a good and happy baby. She only cries when she is hungry or wet and is the apple of my eye. She takes her eye color from me but the rest of her is all Y/N. But even if she didn’t I’d still love her as much. I just can’t believe that the love Y/N and I share created something as perfect as she is. 

I toe open the door and look inside to see Y/N sitting on her side of the bed, her back up against the headboard and looking down at Mav. 

“Such a good girl. Yes, you are,” she coos to our daughter. “Slept almost all night again. You gotta keep that up alright?”

“I’m sure she will as long as you keep praising her like that,” I make my presence known, walking into the room and sitting the tray on the end table on my side. I join my wife and daughter on the bed and watch in amazement. 

Y/N took to being a mother like a champ; like this was what she was born to do. A silly thought ran through my mind before I shook it away. There was no way Y/N would want to give Mavelin a sibling while she was still nursing.

A knock on the door breaks the silence and Y/N pulls the blanket up to cover her chest. As soon as I’m sure she is shielded, I tell the person to come in.

Mom walks in with Sam behind her, “Your brother found a hunt.”

“I know,” I say, taking a glance over at Y/N. She looks disappointed. “I told him I was sitting this one out.”

“I know,” Mom says. “I’m going with him. It looks like a pretty easy one, but we’ll still be gone a few days.”

“Okay,” I answer, relieved that I am not required on this trip. “Stay safe, keep your eyes open and watch each other’s back. Don’t get dead.”

Sam gives me his bitchiest bitch face while Mom chuckles. “You know, I was hunting long before you. I think I know how to take down a creature or two.”

I love my mother but ever since she came back, she surprises me with her sass and cockiness. Although I was four when she was taken from us by Azazel, I do not remember those traits in my memories at all. She was always so humble and timid. Or at least in my recollections, she was. 

They leave the room and I go back to watching my wife feeding our daughter.

“You know,” I say as I settle back against the headboard beside Y/N. “I’ve always loved your boobs but now knowing that they are what is keeping Mav alive and fed, I have a whole new respect for them.”

She laughs and rolls her eyes, “You aren’t getting lucky when I’m finished here, you know.”

I scoff, pretending to be offended but then I drop the charade and a smile crosses my face. “Points for trying?”

As soon as Mav is full, she dozes off and Y/N gets up to take her back to her crib. When she returns we sit on the bed and enjoy the breakfast I made and the lukewarm coffee while we discuss what we are going to do with our days, since I am not having to take off to defeat some supernatural menace. 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

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