#i am dying over here damon please this is so stressful

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

the uncertainty of when the photos will drop and who they'll be is killing me asghdkfkl

[werezmastarbucks]

c a r e

kai parker x reader brutal fluff oneshot

Kai’s bleeding out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

word count: 1920

warnings: language, mentions of suicide, kind of au

You opened your eyes and winced, closed them again and decided to smell the room first. It’s been a while since you got hit on the head last. In fact, the last heavy blow that might have been dangerous for you, you received here, in Mystic Falls, five years ago. Outside this wretched town, danger was virtually non-existent. All the crap always happened here. Did you really have to come back, did you, really? There went your silent rant as your feelings were coming back to you, the tips of your fingers stinging, your limbs, sore, and the smell of burning curtains in the air. The sun was on your face, burning the cut somewhere on your forehead. You lifted your hand and touched it gently, still keeping your eyes closed, and put your finger in your mouth. Blood.

You sat up carefully, and looked around.

“Anybody alive?” you called. The house seemed to be empty. A slender streak of smoke came out of the fireplace. You pictured the last thing you saw before you blacked out: Liv Parker, her great mane of blonde hair waving and messed up, with her arm outstretched, screaming some latin shit in your face. All they ever said while chanting sounded like intricate swearing, honestly. Then, you got up on your feet and started assessing the room, sure that there’s supposed to be something else.

There he is! Another Parker, the psycho one, laying on his back, his white shirt soaking in blood. In a flash, his life ran before your eyes. You thought of the way he spoke to you and that article you read about the night he killed his family, and how there’s so much more to it.

You sprinted to him – well, walked, fast. He was going pale, losing the color, becoming like the shirt he was wearing. When he didn’t talk, and didn’t roll his eyes around, he looked almost like a child, almost quiet. You tried his neck – if there was pulse, you didn’t catch it, because your hands started shaking. After all he’s done, where he’s been and everything he’s seen and was about to see, that was not the way he’d go. Stabbed in the stomach with a poker? Please.

“Can you hear me?”

You looked around and took off your own jacket, pressing the wound in, and the blood started coming even faster, like you were squeezing a lemon.

“Shit”.

You felt for the phone and didn’t find it. You tapped his jeans and pulled his iPhone out, calling for the emergency services. The lady’s voice startled you because you got distracted immediately as you were trying to close that huge hole in his abdomen.

“What’s your emergency?”

“I- I’ve got a guy here who’s very stabbed, he’s like bleeding out”.

“What’s your address?”

You spat out the Salvatore mansion address, deeply surprised you had it carved somewhere on the wall of your skull; his blood was hot, which was probably a good sign, right? His face was glistening with sweat, and your palm was warm on his cheek. You bent over Kai, putting your ear very close to his face, and it sounded like faint breathing.

“Is he awake?”

“No, he’s out, and he’s getting very pale”.

“Okay, I’ve dispatched the car, they’re going to be there in fi-ive-minutes”, the girl said reassuringly.

“Thank you, what do I…”

“How much blood is there?”

You threw the phone on the floor and put her on speaker. The boy was dying. It was funny to think that! He’s died like a bazillion times back in his prison world, by his own confession. When you asked him which way to die was the worst, he said that was relative. The first might have been the most stressful because he really thought he was going to end it all.

As a suicide survivor, you knew what it felt like, and you thought, did I look like this? If someone stumbled upon me that day, would they see what I’m seeing now, a kid whom you want to save? You got such a dire desire to save his life, regardless of how he’ll pay you, you stopped listening to the 911 girl. Damon’s gonna be so pissed, you imagined with a smirk. He was dying, you should have just left him there! Such a convenient disaster which solves the Parker problem and takes out the biggest pain in the ass of all.

Then you looked at his face again, and realized that even through his morbid sleep, as he bleeds out with his arms outstretched, he knows no one cares about him. He knows he’ll die without making a single person ever care about him.

“Are you there, miss? Are you resuscitating?”

“Uh, yeah”.

You hit him in the chest.

“Wake up!”

His head moved as you pressed on the jacket again, like he was stubborn to get up.

“You need to do the heart massage, five times, then mouth to mouth”.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m doing that”.

Your wrists were hurting from how much you were trying to get him to breathe.

“Come on, you’re magical moron, you gotta help yourself”.

Aren’t witches supposed to die harder? Or is it already harder than normal? How much blood is Kai Parker supposed to lose until his headstrong soul finally decides it’s not worth it?

You hit him in the chest with two fists, trying to knock through the ribs and straight to the heart.

“What is that sound?” the girl asked. You puffed and hung up on her, threw his phone away. Kai’s eyes swung open and he stared up as his mouth opened slowly in the grimace of pain.

“Hey! Yes! Can you see me?”

Kai’s eyes shifted to you, irises huge like two black moons.

“Don’t die yet”.

“Am I?” he whispered.

You pressed the jacket again, and he moaned. Your hand twitched, fingers spreading in the gesture to comfort, and laid on his shoulder.

“Not yet. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you”.

He took a very careful breath, like a sip of hot tea, with his mouth.

“Why?”

You thought for a second. Why? Is he stupid? Is he a child? Why? Why do people hate him? When he’s spread here like a fish, sweating through his clothes with freezing blood, white like a sheet, helpless like a kitten, human more than anybody else. Does loathing apply? Where’s the set of moral rules? Does him being a first-class Kai Parker apply?

“By default”, you offered. He looked through you, almost transparent, like a veil with eyes.

“Hold on, dude, this is too embarrassing for you”.

“Agree”.

You felt his hand move next to your thigh, and let your fingers crawl to his palm. It was losing heat.

“Heal yourself”, you pulled his hand and put it on his chest. “Come on, witch. If I had anything, I would help you”.

He turned his head to the side slowly, and the apple in his throat rolled grievously.

“It doesn’t work like that”, you rather read it on his lips than heard.

“Yes, it does. Heal yourself”, you squeezed his hand. There was the sound of wheels screeching in the yard.

He turned his head back and gave you a look from under his brows. The eyes refused to go unblack, and it felt like all the color from his body was draining right through them.

“Don’t let me die, Y/N”.

People were running through the corridor, certainly getting very hyped by spectacular destruction in the house.

“Over here!”

The doctors appeared in the living room, blue jackets and gloves, and you were pulled from Kai, letting go of his hand. You couldn’t see if he blacked out again as they surrounded him, velcros scratching and voices filling the space.

“Are you hurt?” a man appeared before you. You looked at him dumbfounded as he reached for you with a piece of white wool in his fingers. The cut on our forehead stung.

“What the hell happened here?”

“Family dinner”.

______________________________________________________________

“Is he going to make it?”

“If he’s strong”, the nurse replied. The doctor left the emergency room and raced past you, his hands covered in blood like in a movie. You sat on the chair prepped against the wall, and realized you had nothing to do here. It’s not like you’re going to sit here like a girlfriend while they operate on him, or call the time of death. Caring and solidarity is all sweet and good, but let’s not get carried away. This man tried to push you down the stairs like yesterday to create a distraction. He wouldn’t think a second before gutting you if he needed to. That’s how he made it so far, actually.

You left the hospital, walking slowly towards the bus stop and looking at the cloudless blue sky. Then your phone rang, and you realized it was in your back pocket all this time, and Damon was going to be real furious. For a second there you hoped Parker doesn’t make it so that you don’t have to go through mental beating. You tried to think of one way he can still be useful to the Mystic Falls folk and therefore eligible for preserving.

______________________________________________________________

They said, you saved that fucker, you babysit him.

You tried to explain that the majority of work was probably done by the doctors who closed his bleeding wound, and the said fucker’s impeccable will to live no matter what. The guy has that precious survivor’s gene that cannot be pulled out.

But while he’s in the hospital, he’s technically unmonitored, and somebody has to be there when he wakes up. To cuff him or whatever and let Damon know so that they know where he is. With too many Parkers still alive and running around it’s dangerous to let Kai just roam. It’s like, what was the point of all that fuss in the living room? you asked. Exactly, Y/N, Caroline said. Exactly. You were stunned by their bloodthirst. It’s all understandable though – and, at the same time, no. Klaus was free and happy living in Tyler’s fucking house. Katherine was alive and sleeping like a baby somewhere in the old Fell crypt. Rebekah was having the time of her life pretending to be a college student at Whitmore. These were all un-people who commited unspeakable things and hurt all of you personally. Everybody seemed to have come to terms with the fact that they’re here to stay. What made this one different, except eating too much?

You sat in a comfortable armchair in his hospital room like a disgruntled mum, waiting for him to wake up, but the little criminal took his time.

On the day he finally woke up you lost your patience and walked to him, laying in bed. He slept, and slept like a baby, like he was in a witch coma, face peaceful and open, almost good for conversation.

“Here’s one you missed on while you were kicking it in prison”, you said, putting your airpods in his ears. You found it personally quirky that you could torture him with your music while he was out.

You turned the volume down and returned to your chair, listening to the song in your head as the dot on your screen was crawling right.

Summer has come and passed The innocent can never last Wake me up when September ends

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hi! I’m your gifter for the Klaroline Gift Exchange! I wanted to check in and tell you my idea and see if I’m on the right track for your gift. I’m thinking about the following: Historical human AU - Caroline is the daughter of a powerful baron. Klaus is an artist under the patronage of Caroline’s father. Highlights: a dark secret, angst, multiple murders, betrayal and revenge. Also, some smut to to take the edge off. Does that sound ok?

Alrighty so first off, may I marry your brain?? Utterly serious, no joke. May I marry it?

I mean dude—

Are you kidding me?? This is bloody perfect, so fucking perfect. I mean I feel like you jumped into my brain and just frolicked around a bit and were like *picks overly biased tropes/tags my brain constantly screams about like picking flowers* and then weaved a Garland with all those flowers and put it around my damn neck. I mean Ik I haven’t read the fic yet, heck the fic isn’t even written out yet, but like if I saw this description in the summary or tags, I’d dive head first for the work.

Historical Human AU, with a class difference between Klaus and Caroline, scandalous baby. I mean I dig.

Klaus as the Artist under patronage, honestly why aren’t there more fics with Historic Artist!klaus, it fits in perfectly.

Caroline the wealthy daughter of the Baron, yes ma’am I believe you are taking this in the right direction, especially if I get to see this class difference between Klaus and Caroline turn their love forbidden-y or secretive.

Ok just tell me this, have you and I had a conversation like ever in my life? Do we know each other? Because anybody who has talked to me for even like two minutes knows that this, this right here “dark secret, angst, multiple murders, betrayals and revenge.” Is basically what my custom Pokemon’s aesthetic would look like. I mean is it perfect? Bloody yes. But I’ll still unpack all of it because I’m ✨extra✨ like that,

Dark secret; alright so here’s the thing, love love love fics when either Klaus or Caroline have a nice snug close-to-the-heart poisonously scandalous secret no one should know about, but, (yes there’s a but) if this is a secret either Klaus or Caroline are keeping from each other, and it’s the kind of secret that in a honest trusting relationship the other would know about it, because it’s important and crucial information, and yet one of them keeps the secret from the other for xyz reason, the person who was kept in the dark should please throw a MASSIVE fit about it, not silently uNdErStAnD why it’s was kept a secret, or accept that some secrets are best left secret, but like be really angry that the person wasn’t able to trust them, and be hurt about it, Am I making sense? I don’t think I am, basically what I’m saying is if KC are bluffing to each other make the truth hurt. Please Dont let the forgiveness be easy. Make my babies pay. 👉🏾👈🏾🥺

But if the secret is just something Klaus and Caroline are keeping from everyone else or everybody else is keeping from Klaroline, or is basically outside of Klaroline instead of between them, go crazy, hurt my babies don’t hurt my babies, totally up to you. But thank you for this dark detail, I shall cherish it with tender hands.

Angst;

Ok Hi have you met me?

If no then here’s your answer,

YES

No wait like

YES

Gimme gimme gimme.

But, yes again there’s a but, (I’m so so sorry if I’m being very picky and hard to please not my intention at all, I just want to make things clearer for you, but at the end of the day you have total creative control, so like go crazy for me, I will fully appreciate it.) But back to the point at hand, I love love love angst between KC, I adore it, i mean KC canon or otherwise are not a flowery sunshine fluff couple, they’ve got problems and issues and are far too alike and way too different to even logically be together without constantly stepping on each other’s toes, I usually like angst when one of em fucks up and there’s a lot of grovelling involved, or angst due to conflict in between them, or angst due to misunderstandings, but what I do not appreciate is the abusive nature/toxicity/hurtful nature of the conflict or angst creating action forgiven easily, or not being dealt with, basically I want the closure to the angst to be reasonable to both characters, and no one is being a pushover, the Klaus and Caroline dynamic is built upon calling each other out, not taking each other’s shit and zero tolerance for each other’s toxicity, so I would very very much appreciate that to be included here.

Betrayal and revenge;

I mean ma’am you are waltzing straight up my alley and owning it like a mafia mobster, when I say angst, I usually mean conflict and what other better way to bring in conflict than betrayals and revenge. Oh the blood and the lies and the schemes, 10/10 ik I will enjoy, but I’d just like to say, that if betrayal in any way means infidelity, I will not enjoy it, fics with cheating in between Klaus and Caroline are squick for me, so please take this into consideration, and lest I sound awfully repetitive, like I said if the betrayal and revenge (conflict) is between KC don’t let them go easy on one another. And if the revenge and betrayal is not in between KC and with outside forces, just know that I appreciate it bloody.

Multiple murders;

Ok so I’m confused, are these sad murders, like good characters who are close to Klaroline dying, or douchecanoe asshats being hacked to pieces good fucking riddance murders, because like I usually don’t appreciate the former, when I say angst it means conflict (I’m really really sorry if I failed to mention that in the original assignment that was stupid of me) and not pure grief, it leans towards anger and despise and remorse and hurt more so than just grief, grief is a pretty straightforward emotion, there’s less room to play around with unlike the others I’ve mentioned, so please take this into consideration. So like if you’re killing off characters, please let it be Damon or Stefan or one of the eight hundred other dipshits in the Tvd universe, and please leave my other precious babies alone.

Smut; here’s the thing, I am constantly horny, like no shame, smut is my go to stress relief, I will ways always always ENJOY some good plot with porn, and the plot here is good, so the porn is just delicious vanilla (or not, iykwim) icing on top. So please yes. *insert audio of a person being very very agreeable during sex* please do so, I am absolutely one hundred percent behind, over and under this idea.

Thank you so so much for reaching out to me, I think you are going in the perfectly right direction, continue further down this path and you will make it straight to my heart.

I am again so so sorry if I sound lazer specific and am not giving you enough room to work with or to allow your muse to wander, please know you can always break and make a few rules of your own, this at the end of the day entirely your work, and I don’t intend to take your creative control from you at all, all I ask is please be mindful of the things I feel squick about. Other than that, all I can say is I cannot for the life of me bloody wait for this baby to come out, I am jumpy up and down excited, and I am again so sorry if this is putting too much pressure on you, not my intention, but this is like my first gift exchange ever so I’m extra screamy, anywaysss long story short, thank you so much for doing this for me, again sorry for writing you a whole ass Drabble when probably all you expected was a binary yes or no in answer, but like to answer your question, is this ok? If you haven’t figured it out already

Ahem

✨ YES ✨

This is perfectly and exactly ok, I love it already and I can’t wait to fall in love with it more, please continue to send me asks regarding this if you want something clarified or if you can’t make sense of the chaotic monstrosity above, my inbox is always yours to blow up.

All the love and peace and writerly inspiration in the world being sent to you.

XX

Srishti ❤️❤️

[queen-of-the-vampires]

put him first

characters: klaus mikaelson x reader

word count: 1,138

warnings: nightmares, angst, fluff

summary: klaus is no stranger to nightmares, and you catch him in the middle of one, so, naturally, you want to take care of him.

beta: she wants to remain anonymous

squares filled: nose kisses // nightmares

author’s note: this is for my own fluff bingo and @badthingshappenbingo respectively and i am hosting a challenge on this blog, so if you’re a writer, and wan to participate, it would really mean a lot if you wanted to participate! If you have any requests, please send them in!

feedback the glue that holds my writing together

tags at the bottom

The blinking red 2:34 AM was the only thing you could see in the pitch black. Klaus’ mansion was so deep in the woods the sunlight doesn’t usually reach the house even though there were tons of windows. Ever since you got into bed at midnight, you couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because of the rain falling or the thunder booming in the night sky.

Maybe some warm milk might help with a book to read. Klaus hated you going into the painting room that he built for himself, but he was asleep, so what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him. Throwing the covers off you, you got up before leaving your phone exactly where it was. There was no use in having it since there was no one up to contact you. Taking the throw blanket, you wrapped it around your shoulders before exiting your room. Klaus’ room was right across from yours while the rest of his family was scattered around the house

The lights on the walls were dim in case someone needed to go to the bathroom. The carpeted floor was soft against your bare feet, and you walked with the assurance that your steps wouldn’t wake the vampires. When you first moved into the house, Klaus had a mini library created just for you since you loved reading. It was filled with mostly personal books that were available to anyone who wanted to read them. Picking one you haven’t read before, you made your way to Klaus’ painting room before settling on one of the chairs.

Opening the book to the first page, you turned on the lamp before starting to read. The words were right in front of you, but your brain wasn’t processing any of them. The only thing on your mind was Klaus. Lately, you have been worried about him since he started showing signs of severe stress due to his environment.

He says he’s fine, that sleeping at night was a peaceful experience, but you didn’t believe him. Based on the bags under his eyes and the fact that he seemed sad all the time, you knew something was going on. The way you cared for him wasn’t like how you cared for the rest of the Mikaelson clan or even your friends in Mystic Falls. There was something about the vampire that made your heart flutter, but all he needed on his plate was confusing feelings from you.

He had so many other things to worry about than you, which is why you haven’t said anything to him about it. Maybe when the time is right, but it wasn’t right now. Thinking it might be good to check up on him, you closed the book and turned off the light. Keeping the blanket tight around your body, you padded out of the room and down the hall where his bedroom is.

Approaching the door, you didn’t want to open it and wake him if he was sleeping. Pressing your ear to the door, you didn’t hear anything that would alarm you. Maybe you should go back to bed, and deal with Klaus in the morning. Lately, he’s been getting up at the ass crack of dawn, but you still pondered about going in. He was fine he didn’t need you. Maybe you should go back to the book that you left in the painting room. Deciding that this might be a good plan, you moved to leave when you heard a cry come from Klaus’ room.

Quickly entering it, you saw him on his bed, tossing and turning with his eyes closed. He must be having a nightmare which would explain all the sadness and bags under his eyes. Closing the door as to not wake the rest of his family, you rushed over to him before turning on the lamp beside his bed.

“Klaus, wake up,” you said as you touched his shoulder. At the faint contact, he shot out of bed, panting as sweat rolled down his forehead. He looked around before settling his eyes on you. Once he registered that you weren’t going to hurt him, he tried to calm down.

“Are you okay?” you asked as you took a seat on the edge of his bed. He took a deep breath before staring at you with wide eyes. He swallowed thickly before looking down in shame. “It’s okay, Klaus. You were having a nightmare.”

“It wasn’t just a nightmare,” he whispered, trying to find the words.

“Is this why you haven’t been sleeping at night?” you asked. When he nodded soundlessly, you got your answer.

“It’s the same one over and over again. Marcel is always there, and Elijah, and you, and Rebekah and Kol. I can’t do anything as I watch,” he paused suddenly, seemingly not able to finish.

“It’s okay we’re right here. Marcel is dead. He can’t hurt us anymore,” you said as you grabbed his hand, running your thumb over the back of it.

“Will you stay with me?” he asked, his voice seemed far away.

“Of course,” you whispered, getting up and taking the blanket off your shoulders. Getting into bed with him, you faced him just as he laid back down. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, turning to face you.

“You have nothing to worry about,” you scooted closer to him. “They’re just nightmares.”

“Do you ever get them?”

“All the damn time. At first, they used to be about the people I couldn’t save. All kinds of people haunting me, yelling at me ‘why couldn’t you save me?’. After a while, I tried not to let the guilt get to me, and those nightmares went away only to be replaced by you, Elijah, and Rebekah dying at my hand. Dying, because of a mistake I made. Those went away after those close encounters we’ve had, but now they are about Cade. I can’t imagine how much worse it is for Damon or Enzo.”

“How do you deal with them?” Klaus looked so broken by these nightmares you were compelled to stay with him forever until he felt better.

“Sometimes, I don’t. But most of the time, it’s because of you, Elijah, Rebekah, and Kol. Just seeing your face makes me so much happier.”

“Seeing your face makes it better for me too,” he confessed, putting his hand over yours. Leaning over, you pressed a kiss to his nose before peppering a few more. A small smile shone across his face at the gesture, and you pulled away with a smile of your own.

“Go to sleep, Klaus. I’m right here. I won’t let the nightmares hurt you again,” you smiled and he nodded, closing his eyes easily. There will never not be a time where you will always put him first.

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[polygamyff]

24. Part 5

I am not dropping this, I will see him “Robyn why don’t you let them do what they need, just stop and relax. You need to go home and be there for Reign if your mother can’t settle her, stop this” my dad doesn’t understand “if this was mom you wouldn’t be just sat here would you?” my dad just stared at me, not a word spoken “exactly, so please” getting up from the seat, I need to see him. Malik is stressing in the corner but I need to do my thing, I can get there but I don’t have my work pass. God, this is a mess. I hate this department with the life of me, emergency department is just a mess in general. Now being here not as a worker, I see why people hate it. Walking towards the reception “Robyn! Did you bring the baby already?” Rachel said gleaming in happiness but I look and feel like death “no, listen I need to know where Damon is?” Rachel’ face dropped seeing the look in my eyes, the stress, the worry, the hurt “is everything ok?” shaking my head “I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but the man I love is on that unit. I need to see him” my voice broke “they said no visitors, but I can’t” Rachel looked taken a back “oh god, who is it? I didn’t know?” I am shaking “Maurice, Maurice Davenport” Rachel touched my hand “I am so sorry, I will check the system. See where Damon is and see what we can do. I didn’t know who you was with, I knew you was pregnant” Rachel looked back on the computer “it’s not even been a full twenty four hours, we only just bought our daughter back and now we are here” I hope she tell me something “that is awful Robyn, oh my god. You’re not having a good time are you? So, I have found him. He is in intensive care so they are looking after him, Damon is” she paused “he is here” she looked behind me, turning around “Robyn, I will keep you updated. Please don’t worry” Damon is going to help me.

Damon looks tired, but it’s the norm working on this department “come, let’s just talk here. In this room” following behind Damon, he is taking me to the place where we hide from doing actual work “I am shock you’re here? Like seriously shocked, shouldn’t you be resting?” walking into the room, it’s mostly a stock room where we stock everything “resting? Damon, I have had the worst night, morning and afternoon. Starting from my daughter not sleeping unless I held her, I need you to get me in the room with him, I know he is in intensive care. He has just arrived but please, you don’t know what I have been through” I am trying to not cry, I paused as I took in a deep breath “I just did CPR on the love of my life, I witnessed the man I love dying in front of me. I kept him alive by doing mouth to mouth, I continued to do so until the paramedics came. Every last breath in me was going to him, you don’t say what I can’t do. So please Damon, he means everything to me” Damon just stared at me in shock, I don’t think he knows what to say to me “I-” he said “wow, I am so sorry to hear. That sounds awful” nodding my head as tears filled my eyes “you don’t know how broken I am, I have not slept right, I have not had the chance to enjoy my family and now the man I love is on that bed. I dreamt he was dying, he was in my head Damon. And guess what, I was losing him. Please” Damon swallowed hard “that is so deep, you got my heart” Damon just hugged me “that is deep, I’ll take you. Fuck it” I need to be close to him.

This whole department gives me the shudders, the people that need the care and are closer to death and that what scares me “let me check the bed number” I wish they give him his own room but they won’t until he is safe to do so, if they keep him in his room and something happens they might miss it so I get why. I can’t stop shaking, I can’t stop it “come” Damon touched my shoulder “found him, and his notes. Well paperwork” I am getting glares by people in here just because they know I work here but I am really not in work uniform “I will read them while you can see him, you need to stop shaking so much. He is in the best place” I know that but I can’t stop it, I am just so shook “here he is” Damon walked ahead of me, pushing the curtain back “you’re not going to faint with seeing this right?” shaking my head “is it bad?” I asked “no, but to you maybe” Damon pulled the curtain all the way back open, my heart tightened. My lower lip quivered, I never wanted to see the love of my life like this, his arms, face all filled with tubes “why are they using a machine to help him breath”? He can breathe?” walking by Damon, look how unwell he looks “oh my heart” I said, placing my hand over my mouth.

Everytime I close my eyes, the thought of Maurice not being here hits me. He was gone, touching his shoulder “you can’t leave me Maurice, we have so much to do together. You can’t do this to me, I would give you my last breath” I swallowed back the sob that was ready to leave me “ok reading his notes, they are finding it hard to get his records. Medical records but for now. They are preparing him for a blood transfusion, Maurice has lack of oxygen, that would be the reason for the machine, shallow breathing which we both know is touch and go. This is precaution, they did get a response from him, not sure what we was said or done. He needs new blood inside of him and quick, the sickle cells are causing blockages. Ok so, he is stable Robyn, once the transfusion is done he will be fine” staring at Damon “how sure can you be of that?” Damon closed the folder “I am praying for you, I don’t know him personally. Saw him once, or maybe more but the love you have is admirable and I praying he pulls through” looking down “thank you” I said in a whisper, just to hear someone praying for him.

I have seen him now, not that I can rest but I can just sit and wait like my dad wanted me too “I will be around and if any changes I will tell you ok?” Damon said at the side of me “thank you, I will just sit my ass down now” pushing the door open to the waiting area “Shawn” I breathed out in shock “how? You came here so quick” Shawn hugged me ever so quickly “as soon as I heard, I am here. Please tell me? Is he ok?” Shawn placed his hands on my shoulders just staring at me, hoping I saw something good “he’s stable, he died in my arms. I, I just did what I had to do to keep him ok. He is in the best place” I am so very cried out “hello, hi. I am Maurice’ lawyer Wade, he is breathing” I don’t know who this is “I had to bring him, fuck. He’s so stupid” Shawn turned away “I told him, I said it to him. My last words, look after yourself, I had this feeling. Fuck!” things are about to get confusing now “Malik, what is crazy doing?” Shawn said to Malik “dad, he is on the jet” Shawn nodded his head “Robyn, just stay by me” this lawyer got in Shawn’ way “you’re Robyn? Robyn Willis? Reign-Texas Davenport is your daughter. I am aware of you both, nice to meet yourself” shaking his hand “anyways, like I was saying. Maurice will want me to look after you, so please stay with me on this. I don’t want you to be exposed to the family. That is how Maurice would want it, this can get messy in a way of. The extended family don’t know, this is when he can get in deep shit and he is not here. Just please don’t be offended by it. I don’t want anyone upsetting you either” nodding my head “same Robyn, I got you. My brother loves you so I will protect what he loves” they are about to make me cry again.

I am so stuck between being here and my daughter at home “Terry, what are you doing here?” looking over at the door, my mom walked in with a car seat in hand “I bought everything with me, she needs her mother Robyn. There is only so much I can do” I am sat here thinking about my daughter and here she is “seeing as you won’t come home she is here, I am also worried but you have a baby to think of here. A newborn that needs you” my mom placed the car seat in front of me “has she always been awake?” my daughter is awake, her tiny eyes all wide eyed “little miss nosey” she is all snuggle in the car seat, instantly thought back to when Maurice said he couldn’t pick her out of this, I can only imagine how much that hurt him. Thinking back he didn’t actually pick her up physically, he was always given her in his arms “I have missed your tiny face” pressing a kiss to her cheek before I held Reign close to me “what is she like, got you all wrapped up like it’s cold” god, I have missed my daughter so much “this is Reign? Reign-Texas?” Maurice’ lawyer was quick to walk over to me “oh wow, she is so pretty. Congratulations. He was so excited about becoming a dad, he walked into my office. Switched it all up, we spent at least two hours, going through everything, every scenario to get it right. She is very much loved, he said to me if I don’t see my daughter or I die, no matter what, it goes to her. I tried to talk him out of it because she is a baby but he said Robyn will be the person to help” it makes me sick to hear such things because he is actually ill.

Waiting game, it’s awful. Just waiting around for answers, have they given him the transfusion or not or are they still waiting. Damon said he would only update if something changes “they here” Maik got up from his seat, he has been on the seat worrying “Marquis?” Shawn got up also “Malik, don’t let him come here. You need to just toughen up nigga, Robyn, that bodyguard call him” placing Reign over my shoulder, watching from the window as his father abruptly stopped walking, his mother and Nalah are here. There is a few others here actually “what happened to my son Malik!? Where is he?” Marquis shouted at Malik “he’s here trying to get better, I can’t help him with his medication can I?” Malik said to him “yes the fuck you can! You do nothing but follow him, under his shadow and you can’t even take care of him” passing Reign to my dad “face away from them, I don’t want any one of them seeing her” Marquis looked into the room, his stare caught mine. Walking slowly closer, just behind Shawn “what is she doing here? You know what, I want to see my son!” oh god no, poor Damon “you, where is my son? I want him transferred, somewhere better” Damon stared at Marquis “who is your son?” he asked “Maurice, where is he? Malik where is he!?” Malik is getting it in the neck, Nalah walked around her family to come into the room “where happened to him?” she asked straight away, I didn’t want to speak about such things again but I will have too.

Shawn stood in front of the door of the waiting room “your dad wants us gone?” I asked Nalah “yes, he said you’re his mistress. You’re a secret, he’s a fool. I won’t let him see her” Nalah said “in real terms Robyn. You have all the power in your hands to remove his dad” Wade said to me “I don’t want any power, all I want is Maurice better. I am not using such things to a man that can be malicious. I just want my daughter away from him, Nalah. Don’t let your dad be mean to Malik. It’s upsetting, I know he is keeping him at bay but he is blaming Malik like Maurice isn’t the stupid one in this” Nalah sighed out “I get it, but he doesn’t. I want to give you some advice, my niece. I would be more than happy to babysit her but I want her to be home and not here for people to see, any tiny bit of hair they will say something or sell something on. She is so beautiful and has got Maurice in her a lot” I love to hear that my daughter looks like her dad.

[mes-lou]

Songs that perfectly in compass my two current moods. Even though nobody asked. (Words are in bold if they’re important.)

Leeway - evergreen

There’s not much I can do about the situation so I might as well be happy that I’m not dying I guess, and dance around my empty house like an idiot. I worked really hard at my a levels and hopeful They’ll be lenient with my grades. I am happy to have the stress exams taken away but it’s been replaced with a new kind that I can’t explain.

Away with the lights

And down

With every last remaining

Conversational height

Are we out of sight?

I'm not about to let this

Keep me up in the night

Oh we happy few

We condescending

Congregating

Party of fools

Any words

Will do

A streaking and a stocking

In a room with a view

And I've done

I've done what I could

To black-and-whiten down technicolorhood

But I know, I got to be good

If I wanna catch the break that

I know I should

Yes I should, yes I should

Have run away while I could

Four years and a week

To complete

What Damon or Gonzales

Would have done in a day

Here's to our defeat

We'll sugarcoat it all to cut the meaning away

This is all so well

As long as we get all the leeway needed to think

We are hooks and cowbells

I hope this ends up in a Kenzo advertisement

And I've done

I've done what I could

To black-and-whiten down technicolorhood

But I know, I got to be good

If I wanna catch the break that

I know I should

Yes I should, yes I should

Have run away while I could

I got nothing to say

I got nothing new

Not a thing to convey

To you

I got no love to give

And no message at all

You won't learn anything

From this song.

Stay open - Maya Hawke

On the other hand. I am extremely sad that I’m saying goodbye to everyone, some people it’s goodbye forever. I’m sad I don’t have closure and that my fate has been taken out of my hands. I’m sad that everything is changing so quickly and suddenly.

Close the door behind me

Lock up when I leave

Nurse my pride, throw in a please

But I'll do anything you ask

Things will change, they always do

But my heart will stay open

For you

Sorry that I lost your key

I'm not accustomed to security

There's nothing you could promise me

That'll let me catch my breath

Things will change, they always do

But my heart will stay open

For you

This cold wind comes quickly

Through an open door

And every blow lands heavy

When you want more

But, baby, I am ready

Whatever's in store

Stumble over your fine line

Falling further every time

Speak the words in your eyes

Then I don't wanna guess

Things will change, they always do

But my heart will stay open

For you

I'm not sure we get to choose

Love can make a child of you

But when I try and tell the truth

Outcomes your little name

Things will change, they always do

But my heart will stay open

For you

My heart will stay open

For you

My heart will stay open

For you

[josiahlg]

Tweets Archive

Be Grateful

1. Your perception is a reflection of your attitude. Your attitude is a reflection of your gratitude. Be grateful!

2. “Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.” - Oprah Winfrey

3. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”  - Cicero 

Kill Self

1. “Replace the 'I' with 'we' and illness becomes wellness.” - @dasscherick

2. “There is no easy way to humility. Pride longs to roam free and expands wherever space allows. Death to self is the greatest of all wars.” -EGW

3. “It’s funny how the highest praise goes up only when our flesh is being pleased.” - @_lonewolf

4. “How did, ‘deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me’ become, ‘fulfil yourself, take up ur calling, and follow your dreams?’” - S. Foyeh

5. “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” - Albert Einstein

Love at the Centre

1. “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” - 1 Cori 13:1

2. “I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” - Mother Teresa

3. “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” - Martin Luther King Jr

4. Walk humbly. Live simply. Love genuinely.

Relationships

1. Some spend their time trying to find someone to sleep with instead of finding someone worth waking up to.

2. The truth is, everyone will at some point hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for.

3. “Just because no one is perfect, that isn't a good enough excuse to settle for mediocrity.” - Tony Gaskins

4. “The higher your standard, the longer the wait. The longer the wait, the more faith is required.” - T. Rain

5. “Understand that even an ‘understanding heart’ grows tired of being understanding and never understood” - @AaliyahJay

Religious

1. “The goal is not to end up in Heaven. The goal is to live on earth as it is in Heaven.” - Damon Thompson

2. We were made by Love and for love, and until we understand that, life will never make sense.

3. Two Foundational Facts of Human Enlightenment: (1) There is a God. (2) And you are not Him.

4. “Faith never knows where it is being led. But it knows and loves the One who is leading.” - Oswald Chambers

5. “God can turn things around in a second, minute, hour, day, month, year or whatever time HE desires. Wait on HIM!” - @Zalika_M

6. “Sin is an inevitable and natural consequence of having a false picture of God.” - @dasscherick

7. “We must denounce sin as boldly as the world commits it.” – Dean Cullinane

8. Every good decision isn't necessarily God's decision. Remember to stay in his will.

9. “When #religion is just an idea, a concept or a set of doctrines, it is worse than meaningless; it is harmful.” - @dasscherick

10. Since God intends to make you like Jesus, he will take you through the same experiences Jesus went through. That includes problems, temptation, stress, criticism, rejection and many more.

11. “We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn.’” – C S Lewis

12. Eternity to the godly is a day that has no sunset; eternity to the wicked is a night that has no sunrise.

13. “Secularism makes you selfish. Religion makes you tribal. The gospel makes you sacrificial.” - Tim Keller

14. “Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance.” - C.S. Lewis

15. “Your life will be a remimder to another soul that they can overcome. Don’t numb the hurt give it purpose. Prove that survival is possible” - @Niaa_xs

16. Freedom is not getting to do whatever you want, but being able to do what God created you to do.

17. “Today’s decisions are tomorrow’s realities, life today is a collection of the choices you made yesterday.” - A. Michael

18. “If you read history you will find that the people who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since people have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.” - C.S. Lewis

19. Desires for goodness and holiness are right as far as they go; but if you stop here, they will avail nothing. Many will be lost while hoping and desiring to be Christians. They do not come to the point of yielding the will to God. They do not now choose to be Christians. - {SC47.2}

20. “Someday my heart will pound its last beat. My pulse will go still, but my spirit will soar to God who gave it. He will judge me by His Word.” - Ken Raddio

Be the Best you Can Be

1. Pray as though everything depends on God. Work as though everything depends on you. #WorkHard #PrayEvenHarder

2. Just be true to who you are. You were born an original don't die a copy.

3. “Live your life outside the box, because when you die you're going into one.” - Tyler Perry

4. “Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” - John Wooden

5. “Without uncertainty there's no progress. Live your life without limits. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Love it.” - @CrisOkero

6. “Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” - George Bernard Shaw

7. “When you stop growing you start dying.” - William Burroughs.

8. “Life is short. Christ lived for 33 years but fulfilled His purpose. Live everyday like it’s your last and be pleasing unto God." - @FaithChildMusic

9. “Most  people would choose unhappiness over uncertainty.” - @CrisOkero

10. “Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” - M. Savant

11. “When all is said and done, success without happiness is the worst kind of failure.” - Louis Binstock

12. “If you don't get it the first time, what do you do? Walk away? Maybe they didn't hear the knock. Try Again.” #determination - Jackson Ogunyemi

13. Your mind is your greatest asset. Invest in your mind and you’ll always be wealthy.

14. “Try not be a man of success but a man value.” - Albert Einstein

Miscellaneous

1. “We must always have old memories and young hopes.” - Arsene Houssaye

2. I wouldn't turn back time and change anything, unless I could change everything.

3. In some of the third world countries, an 13 year old is leading his family. In the U.S/U.K they are reciting their favorite singer’s lyrics.

4. “A contented mind, a cheerful spirit, is health to the body and strength to the soul.” - ML 151 (E.G. White)

5. “There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.” - John Adams

6. “The problem with the world is that the intelligent are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” - Charles Bukowski

7. “It's Ok to be inspired by someone else but be bold enough to be yourself.” - Tony Gaskins

8. “Death always gives life perspective. The irony.” - @Ayokunu

9. “Man says show me and I'll trust you, God says trust me and I'll show you!!” - @astarmusicuk

10. “Ten years from now, make sure you will be able to say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.” - @itsnakhedibtw

[polygamyff]

25. Part 2

It’s like he was never ill, the very man I love awake and so full of life. Maurice looks like a deer caught in headlights seeing me, I feel so emotional again but I’m not about to cry right now. Clearing my throat “it’s ok, he won’t be going anywhere, can you give us a moment please. I can assure you he won’t be moving” I said to the nurse, I have no idea who she is “I think the doctor should be around soon, but I will give you a heads up when he does ok?” Damon said to me, smiling at him “thank you, I do appreciate that. Thank you for everything” he’s been the best “it’s ok, I can see the happeniness in your eyes” I grinned “thank you” Damon drew the curtains around me “you don’t see anything to be honest, you can sniff around somewhere else” Maurice is totally better “ignore him, I will be doing that soon. Bye” smiling at Damon, Maurice is really back and already annoying people. Sighing out heavily looking ahead of me, he is really giving me puppy dog eyes. Maurice put his head down, then looked up with his puppy dog eyes. I don’t know how to feel, I’m just speechless, the battles I had while he was not here “I’m sorry” he said in a whisper “sorry isn’t really going to fix my pussy coming apart” Maurice lifted his head back, confusion all over his face “I want to hate you” I openly admitted “love me first” Maurice was quick to say to me “love you first when I could have lose you? You was dying in my arms” looking away from him, This is painful “I don’t know what happened, that is the honest truth. The last I remember is sleeping, you told me to go to bed and I did but that was it. I knew I was in pain but I didn’t think that would have happened” he is lucky he didn’t get to witness what I did “but you did Maurice, you already had one transfusion so you was fully aware. Don’t lie to me” he is still doesn’t care, he doesn’t think it was serious and I hate that “you really don’t love me or your daughter, you wouldn’t sit in that bed and be the way you are, my daughter was so close to being fatherless and she didn’t even get to call you dad and you think that is anything to be ok about, you played with your life when you have so much to love for” the curtain behind me opened “still can’t rid of you, what I tell you about this not being your department” I laughed ever so fake “can’t keep away” Damon was supposed to tell “I can tell, you have certainly kept this one at bay. From the get go, he was ready to leave” moving to the side so the doctor could come in “I am Dominik, I have been looking after you” I really shouldn’t be here but oh fucking well.

Dominik sat down next to Maurice’ bed “so, we have your lady in power here. What do you think happened?” he is asking that to Maurice that doesn’t even fucking care, he is so rude “clearly having a crisis” Maurice said it and he knew “very life threatening, I was reading your notes. You haven’t requested new medication in two months? You need this medication, it is so important. It stops this, still right now. You have to stay, you had a transfusion and we still need to clean out the bad blood, Mr Davenport this was touch and go. You probably feel weird, you are missing a few days, you are safe to move you into your own room but we will talk more. Get your head around what has happened is, that ok with you?” Maurice got his hand out “thank you” Maurice and the doctor shook hands “the porters will be along, I will give you his things to keep safe? Is that ok?” Dominik said to me “that is fine, thank you. You did so well, you made him better” even though I was in the way with things and didn’t approve of most things he was doing “that is fine” be back” he walked off “how is Reign?” Maurice asked “she is thinking where her parents are, she is ok. At my parent’ home, she wore her first dress today. But she is ok” I am really not about to stress Maurice out about the things that has been happening but I may tell him about his dad once they move him “I am sorry” that is the only thing he can say.

Maurice knows he has fucked up, I didn’t expect me to be mad at him already but I am “I love you Bonita, you know I do” I felt my heart literally miss a beat which hurt, those words that was nearly taken away from me. My eyes started to fill with tears, looking up at him “the man that loves Bonita would have told her this, you don’t remember anything but I do. You try and give CPR to the person you love, every last breath I gave to you because you wasn’t about to leave me here in this hell where everyone wants piece of you while I push them away, you wasn’t about to leave me. You died in my hands” I choked out “nobody will ever understand the feeling, having to push down at your chest, every second slipping away. I would have given you my last breath so I can hear you say Bonita, I nearly lost the man I love” placing my hands over my face as I cried into my hands, it hurts. I am still so scarred from it, it makes me sick to my stomach “what the fuck, why is something in my dick!” moving my hands away from my face “what you doing? Like seriously? Lay back down” wiping the tears that fell, Maurice just froze “someone touch my dick?” walking closer to the bed “how else you going to pee? Just don’t move, you won’t feel it” Maurice looks so upset about this “lay back down” fixing the covers on Maurice “I wanted to come to you” using the controls to lay him down “wait, Robyn. Before the whole dick thing, I didn’t know? I don’t know anything, I am so sorry that happened to you but you saved my life, you have given me the chance to actually not fuck up, to make you happy. I am so sorry please believe me” Maurice face planted right on my boob “thank you for that” I mumbled “love me please” he whined out “I will make it up to you, just let me get my head around everything. I just feel very weird about everything” he moved his head away from my breasts, placing my hands at the side of his face “just to see you looking into my eyes, this is all I wanted” I got my baby back.

Maurice is a pain, I wish he was asleep now “I would like to know who touched my dick? Like who had the right?” he won’t drop it, like there is worse things. We have so much to talk about, he just seems so blind sided with what actually happened, he won’t talk to me in way of like how he felt, what was happening to him. Did he he not feel himself dying, maybe he’s ignoring it “well it wasn’t myself, I am not sure who” I wish they put that oxygen mask over his mouth “I hope it wasn’t male because that is gay” smiling at the nurse, she is fixing his bed “well it doesn’t matter who did, we just want you better. Comfortable? Are you happy with the room?” she ain’t going to deal with Maurice and his stupidity “yes I am, but can you take this out of my dick?” the nurse walked off not answering the same question “Maurice, you know why. You’re still getting better, I am happy you have your own room now” I am just not getting him right now, I’ve really not expressed how I felt with things.

I am not going to tell Maurice about things just yet but just his dad, I am going to be with Reign because clearly he is fine and also his family want to see him but it’s my duty to tell him “anyways, before I go and see to Reign” I need to just leave, breathe a little “do I see her?” he asked “it’s about your dad, he took it rather bad you was here” I am not going to tell him just yet how mean he was to me “he uhm, he had a heart-attack Maurice. I think it was caused by stress and worry, maybe all the deceit but he is also here. But he is ok, don’t worry” the look on his face, he was more sad to hear this then to even hear what happened to me with him “my dad really had that? No way, I want to see him” shaking my head “please, just stay in bed. Get better so you can come home” to be just a family, that is all I want from him.

My dad is in hospital and I can’t even see him, this hurts so much. My dad is here, he could have died, I could have died. Resting my head back on the pillow, swallowing hard. I feel the pain in my heart and I am so sorry for what happened, I maybe did know it would happen but not like that, I didn’t want to die. Robyn does kind of hate me but then wants to love me, I deserve it and now I’m peeing in a bag, I am just so lost right now, I don’t know what to say or even do, only thing I can do is lay here. Lifting my arm up, the pain I felt has disappeared which is a blessing. I didn’t want to die at all, I have a daughter to think of but I knew shit like this could have happened. I am upset about my dad though, he for real had a heart attack, he’s a strong guy so I am shocked. Robyn did say it could be stress and heartbreak, I stressed everyone out so much “Maurice!” Hearing my mom’ voice lifting my head up seeing my mom rushing in “mom” my mom didn’t hold back, she grabbed my face and started kissing my face “how dare you let this happen” too many crying women in my life “you killed yourself! You realise this don’t you? I could have lost you Maurice” my mom crying her heart out, I feel so bad “you know how much I love you, how I told you I do love you kids. Why don’t any of you listen to me, I came here to you! Not your father, I always told you that you all mean so much to me. To stare into your eyes again” my mom kissed my cheek “my baby boy” I swallowed hard, I feel so bad but it happened and there was no way of me stopping the process “I am sorry mom, I do honestly feel bad” my mom walked away so Nalah could see me “you good idiot?” I smiled, Nalah kissed my cheek “I’m ok thanks” last time I was in hospital nobody was feeling this “Malik” dapping him “you scared me bro” I must have.

I am just in my own thoughts, I am trying to catch up with what the fuck even happened to me. Maybe I don’t care enough for my life but maybe I should, I do have a daughter to think of, I also have Robyn. This is just a mess “Maurice, you seem very quiet. What’s up?” Malik asked me “just thinking Malik, I have a lot on my mind. I’m always going to be stressed so I can never stop that can I?” Malik put his head down “where is Robyn?” He asked “she is also angry with me, she has gone to see Reign. I don’t know if she is going to bring her to see me though” rubbing my face “you need to man the fuck up” Nalah spoke up “Nalah!” My mom spat “you’re self loathing, you know how much shit you caused. Dad and you could have been dead! You did it to yourself and I bet you any money dad wouldn’t be where he is either. He is there because of you, your daughter is not able to bond with her father because of you, Robyn being ill is because of you and you want to lay here and be like sad and shit. Man up Maurice! This could have all been avoided, I don’t get your issue here. If I was Robyn I would leave your ass” mean mugging Nalah “don’t say that to him, he does so much for us, the best we can do is support him. Stop it now” my mom said “least dad wasn’t selfish and got himself ill. He was actually there for us all, especially you, he did everything. He fixed you! Just because Ally couldn’t wipe your ass you did this, you don’t know the shit that went on, you dragged our family through shit. You know how much it hurt to have people wait for you to die? It fucking hurt” Nalah got up from the chair to storm out.

I think it may have been a better solution if I did just die, I didn’t mean any of this to happen at all “my granddaughter, when will I see her? She was here but she wouldn’t let us see her, she refused. That is my blood too, why am I getting punished?” Sighing heavily “I don’t know mom, I can’t say. How is dad? What is he doing? Why is nobody with him?” My mom is ready to rip another asshole “I gave birth to you, I went through a terrible birth to have you. You think I will be sat with a man that gives me grief? I am here with you. He blamed me, blamed Malik for you. So no Maurice let him sit on his own and think about how nasty he has been with us. You don’t listen to me at all, all of you kids say the same things. Why am I not with Marquis, sniff around him for money? Is that what you all think of me” I groaned out “why didn’t god take me? Why are you all just talking shit” my mom stood up “take you!? For what? Your sister is right, your father is fine, and so his prodigy” frowning at my mom, she really called me that “say another word Maurice” she knew I was going too.

Shaking my head “another one bites the dust, the fuck is wrong with people? I’m here not well, I have just woke up from being nearly fucking dead, what I do wrong?” I asked Malik “for nearly dying bro, that’s what they mad at. It’s called care, shit nigga. You scared me, I thought you was sleeping. Only thing I am saying is I am not sure how long you wasn’t breathing for, I dragged you up and I didn’t know what to do. You don’t get it because you don’t see it but I ain’t like the females, I am here still for you. I am just sad about you getting ill and then dad. We been through a lot, it’s supposed to be a good time. I got a niece but instead we here, I think you need to just relax and just think a little” I hate thinking, thinking just makes me depressed “just relax bro” nodding my head, nobody wants to know now that I am awake.

[polygamyff]

24. Part 6

This is so stressful it’s just turned out to be us vs them and I don’t want that, as I knew Marquis is just causing havoc that I do not want to be apart of. Shawn refuses to let him in this room and I am glad, I don’t want to know. Even Maurice’ mom tried it, she cried but I don’t want to know right now “mom, I want Reign to go back home. I will have to come back with you” rubbing my eyes, I am so tired “I know she won’t feed from the bottle now, so I will come. Just wait for Jay” I think Reign is feeling it, she knows things are wrong but I don’t want my daughter getting ill “that is fine but that is Maurice family? His father keeps looking at us” my mom said “it’s because they want to come in this room” seeing Jay walking by the family, he is huge and I can see him from here. I got up from the seat “I need to check on what is happening with Maurice, wait here” walking over to Jay “you good bro? I came as soon as she called, he is in hospital?” Jay said in shock to Shawn “yes he is, I need to see someone. Please walk with me” walking by Jay, I have been dying to leave the room. Marquis and I locked eyes, no words was spoken but from the look alone he is hating me “what happened to him? He is ok when I last saw him” Jay said behind me as we walked, I will have to explain after to him “Rachel, hi. It’s been an hour, what is happening?” I need more information “erm, I will check the computer. Nothing has come up of anything, I would say he is stable, did you manage to see him?” sighing out heavily “I did yes, but I need to know what is next. I know he is lacking in oxygen, are they doing the transfusion?” I need to know what is happening “excuse me, can you wait?” hearing Jay say behind me, looking behind me and then I see Marquis “my son, that is my son. I want to know, Joy please. Just wait there” god help me “they are starting the transfusion now, someone will be over, so just remain in the room” I just want Maurice better “ok, thank you Rachel” Rachel just stared behind me “look sir, I don’t care. Just back away” walking off quickly, I don’t wish to speak to any of them.

Jay stood right in front of me as I deal with Reign “you really not happy are you? It’s ok baby, we going home. I just need to know what is happening with your father” Reign gave me a questioning look and then she farted on me “thank you, I love you too. I need you to be strong for me too” placing her pacifier in her mouth “my baby girl” placing my daughter over my shoulder “Robyn?” some guy said my name “Robz” Damon’ voice “one moment” I am right in the corner, nobody can see me because of Jay “mom place the blanket over Reign” nobody has the pleasure of seeing my baby girl, my mom lightly placed the blanket over Reign, giving her enough gap so she can get air “yes I am here” walking around Jay “I am his mother, please! I need to know about my son” Joy and Marquis both barged in “Wade, earn your keep nigga” Shawn said, Wade woke his ass up and got up “keep your fucking mouth shut Wade!” Marquis shouted “look! We are not here for the feud, we want to speak to the next of kin” the room fell awfully silent “and who is that?” Joy said “according to the paperwork it’s Robyn” the doctor said “look, Marquis. Your son has given Robyn the power, I can only go on what he has given. But he has given you power back to you with your hotels that you gave him, that is what happens” Wade said “I don’t want the hotels! I want my son, he is my boy! He has a wife” Marquis said through gritted teeth “why has he given me the hotels back?” Marquis asked Wade “if he does die, he said he has other business ventures his daughter can have” I don’t want to do this right now “those new hotels, the ones that are truly his. I see what he has done” I am trying to be calm “look! I want to know about Maurice, screw your business” I spat, I didn’t want to shout but I have “thank you so he is going through the transfusion and his body is accepting of it, we just need to get the bad blood out. We will monitor him, but he is doing fine” Reign started to cry in my ear “thank you” I said turning around, that is all I want to know.

I need to get my daughter home, I need to settle her and feed her. I will have to leave my heart here while I do this “I am going Shawn, I need to see to my daughter. Please call me if anything, as soon as she is ok I will be back” my dad picked up the car seat, I placed a blanket over the seat so nobody can see her, nobody in that family does “Mom, dad I want you both to stay at the home with her. I will be ok, dad walk ahead of me please” I am so tired so I may fall asleep but I am scared, if I sleep and Maurice is there in my dreams I will probably just die in my sleep. Walking out of the room, it is so awkward doing this. I have their grandchild who I refuse to let see, his parents know but the rest don’t. I do see the worry on their face unlike the rest I don’t know but oh well, glaring over at Kellen being here. What even is his purpose coming, he started so much shit. My mom placed her arm around me as he walked by his family, it’s just so weird how his family work. Walking out of the hospital, I felt like I was in the twilight zone as a few more people in suits walked by me “wonder if this is the end of him?” looking behind me, glaring at the men not knowing if they was speaking about my man or not.

My daughter is drinking me alive, she is loving it. I am just in bed, snuggling Reign to calm her down. She is happy “you just wanted to be home, was you feeling the bad vibes? Because I was” lightly touching the side of her face, she is closing her eyes which is good but I did that and she did wake up once I took her off the nipple. Let’s try this again, I need to burp her though. Lifting Reign up, her head resting on my hand as I pulled my top down “it’s just me” my mom said before walking in, lightly rubbing her back “is she resting well now?” nodding my head “I think she was wanting some snuggles from mommy, she was farting on me at the hospital. She kept giving me concentration face before she farted, nasty ass” my mom smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed “I adore her so much, I honestly keep staring at her like she is real, my beautiful grandbaby” smiling down at Reign “shall we try the baby crib? You can pump then” sighing out “do I have too? My boobs need a rest, maybe the left side I could” a little bit of milk drool fell from her lips.

My eyes shot open “Robyn, you fell asleep pumping” my mom’ hand on my shoulder “oh god, I must have got comfy doing this. Is Reign asleep still?” I asked, my mom nodded her head “I was thinking” thank god my mom stopped the pump, my poor boobs “yes mom” reaching under my top to take off the pump from my breast “was thinking of taking Reign home with us, I just feel like I can take care of her more better. The home is smaller, I am scared I won’t hear her” that felt so good to come off my breast “oh, well mom. That is fine, you can take her, I trust you. Just take what you need with you, I understand” my mom breathed out “I am so glad, I just worry a lot. I think I will be better at our home, she means the world to me so she will be safe” smiling at my mom “it’s ok, Maurice and I both trust you. I just can’t wait to bring him home, I want my husband home” my mom sighed out smiling “I just worry, I don’t want you to be bullied by them people. His family are very rude, I don’t like it” nodding my head “well I don’t have Reign to worry about so I will show them who is boss, I know some of those people are there to see him die. I won’t let that happen” my daughter is safe here so I can just be me and show them who is boss, I won’t be abrupt with them unless they start.

Just wearing Maurice’ oversized hoodie, a bit of red lipstick, some shades. I took some clothing for Maurice because I will be bringing my man back with me, he is coming home with me “Jay” I shouted him, staring down at the keys to Maurice’ cars “yes?” he picked up Maurice’ bag from the floor “you can drive any car right?” I asked him “yes of course, any car I can drive. I am always insured for that” picking out the Rolls Royce keys “good, you’re driving me” holding the key out “oh, what if he don’t want that?” I shrugged “I am here so what can he say” Jay took the key from me “mom, have you taken everything you need” my dad placed Reign on the floor near the door, I know she is sick of that car seat “I have baby yes, we do have a baby crib at the home do don’t worry” crouching down to my baby “everytime I see you, you’re always all awake and staring at me like mom where are you going. The two Ts are going to spoil you so much, then mommy and daddy are going to give you so much love. I need you to be a good girl ok? I miss you” pressing a kiss to her forehead “I miss you already, you mean so much to me” I am sad that she will be away from me, I want her to always be close and I can’t have her close and that hurts.

Sitting in the back of the Rolls Royce, not anyone’s Rolls Royce’ but my man’ Rolls Royce. I just want him back with me, this is killing me inside. I know him and I know he would hate for me to be near that side of his family, I am going to put on my big girl’ panties on and face them. My daughter is safe at home so I can do what I need to do now, I just worry about her and Nalah is right. Why have Reign here, she is not safe just being here at the hospital. Jay opened the car door for me “so this staff parking you just used?” I bought my work pass, I will be using this for my own benefit now “yes, least we space close to the building too. I work here so why not use the perks” Jay laughed “you crazy, I will get the bag for you” fixing my bag on my arm “you know, the people in this hospital want Maurice dead. I don’t know if I can contain myself in the proper manner, the bad vibes in this place is getting to me” Jay walked ahead of me and looked behind at me “not surprising at all, he is high profile. Like random people outside this place, paparazzi. Like in my place of work, you see it all” Jay and I walked slowly towards the entrance “what do you mean?” I questioned “like, those people there. Just stood around, I know for a fact they won’t be regular people, they will have an agenda” I wouldn’t think that at all.

Walking behind Jay as we entered “excuse me, aren’t you Robyn?” I stopped abruptly staring at this guy, a few other people started to gather near me “Robyn Willis? Haven’t you given birth to the heir to the Davenport empire?” my face dropped staring at this man knowing my life “is it true? You have had his child, you are Maurice’ secret lover” Jay pushed the guy out of the way “move! Come, Robyn” Jay got in my view, how do they know me. Who are these people “Robyn, come” turning around putting my head down in shock “I told you, I know them. I have seem them before, they are from blogs and newspaper” shaking my head in shock “how do they know me!?” I spat, Jay stopped walking “someone must have leaked something, I am not sure. Just forget it for now, the main thing is Maurice. We need to see him” I don’t want to be exposed like this, my life.

I do find it hard seeing Maurice’ mom, it’s like she wants to speak to me but I won’t allow it. My eyes fell on the very group of men that was speaking bad on my man, saying if this would kill him off. Glaring at them like they are dirt “Robyn” Damon rushed over to me “let’s speak in the room” I said to him “I have finished now, but I stayed behind to wait on you” placing my bag on the chair, Damon closed the door “Maurice is on his second bag of blood but we had to delay it a little, we had to give him fluids through the IV to prevent the blood pressure from falling too low. The fluids will also help his kidneys get rid of donor red blood cells that his immune system has destroyed. His body seems to want to destroy them but it’s going well, it’s not bad at all” opening my bag “so he is on a drip? Is he breathing on his own?” grabbing my pass “he is, he’s not on a machine at all. He’s not woke up though, but we are watching him every fifteen minutes. Because he has had a transfusion before his body is just fighting it, but we will get there” nodding my head “thank you, walk me to the room Jay. Stay here” I just want to see him.

Placing my badge around my neck, I mean I am not in my uniform but still. I could say it’s an emergency, what can they say “I am going now Robyn, I have already worked twelve hours so I am tired” smiling at Damon “thank you, I do appreciate everything you have done. You didn’t have too and also you could have got in trouble for it. Thank you” Damon waved me off “it’s fine, and I am praying for him. He will be fine” waving at Damon “thank you” pulling the curtain shut a little, I am so glad to see the breathing machine gone but then there is the blood transfusion “Maurice, can you please get your body in gear. I know it’s hard, me and Reign need you and the doctors are fighting to keep you here. You really fucked up with this one” he must be going through pain “hello?” this female moved the curtain back “hi” I am not about to argue, I will cuss her out “I am looking after him throughout the night” she pointed at my badge “erm yeah, I work here. Not my department” she let out an oh “I am Sara” she introduced herself “Robyn, this is actually my partner. I was told to not come, I shouldn’t get in the way but how can I not” Sara pointed at me “I read in the notes, yes I did. You was the one to perform CPR on him? You saved his whole life, oh wow. Ok, well I understand. Just because we have many intensive care people here, we can’t do visitors, it gets stressful. We erm, well it was decided to keep Maurice asleep and not aggravate him to wake up, the fear of him waking up in pain, his body rejecting the blood is never easy. It’s not rejected all of the blood so we are clearing out the cells it killed off. He’s had a transfusion before, it gets difficult every time, we are working on a plan for him when he comes back around, he can’t be like this again. It’s painful for him but also not good for him, I am positive he will be fine, and I can promise you we are taking care of him” you know how good it is to hear such words “I don’t think I will ever forget the moment I had to do that, we just took our daughter home. I am on leave and we just took her home, so it’s pretty stressful” Sara smiled at me “you are very strong, I will leave you to him but just don’t stay here” nodding my head understanding why.

Touching Maurice’ hand “you hear that? You’re going to be ok, I can’t wait to see you awake. So then I can officially be angry with you, my heart can’t rest with you like this so I can’t be angry. Don’t ever invade my dreams like that again, god. You got me all the way fucked up with that, you was dying on me. You ain’t leaving me to this, I am not dealing with your family like this. So you got to wake up, I need to be angry with you” he looks so peaceful my baby, he is looking better so the blood has to be working with him “Reign is missing you, she is rather the diva already. My parents have taken her to their house, I wonder how she will be with them. My parents find our home too big but Reign is wanting her dad, she loves her snuggles. I know she is missing you teaching her Spanish, she knows something is wrong, my daughter is feeling it. I just want us to go home with our baby” that is all I want, I just want to close the doors and spend time with my family.

Slowly walking the lobby to go back into the waiting room, I had to laugh because Kellen is here and I don’t get why “so the purpose of is because?” I am ready to attack somebody so Kellen can be the first “he is my cousin, he near blinded me but we family” I snorted laughing “he didn’t hurt you hard enough if you can still see, you all here for one reason and we all know why, fuck you Kellen. You know you and that raggedy bitch got all the shit to come, this is why you are where you are, second place and you hate that. As soon as your bitch found out you was not the main man she didn’t want to know, heard she was already riding someone else’s big dick cause you and I both know you wasn’t performing well, Tiffany sent me that shit, that is how little! You meant to her, and this how little! You mean to me and my family. And next time you want to try and come between me and my family don’t fucking forget who the fuck will handle the money you use! It will be me, you all can stand here and wait for him to die but the last thing I will do is let any of you get any justice out of it, you can tell your fucking family it all, I do not fucking care. Everything is built on lies with you, the lot of you” hearing Leon’ shout at me “this is why he is where he is, him and his dad are both liars. We’re counting on him to not be back” Leon hugged me “I came as soon as I could” I want to kill him “I feel sorry for you, because he will be here. The next thing he going to do is be knocking on your door, mark my words” I am not playing with him “friend! Hey, come on” looking ahead of me “he called me mistress, the only thing that is a fucking mystery is your son in Germany. You are the pill inside Maurice every time, you play with his mind. That bitch is here for what! We all know what happened, we all know that marriage is dead. Why don’t you tell everyone here the real fucking truth daddy of the year” Leon put his hand over my mouth “you speaking too much” I haven’t even started yet, what is wrong with everyone “get inside now trouble” Jay said yanking me inside.