#i am deeply nervous about how i write fenris

[lucaniseyebrowlicker]

WIP Wednesday

was tagged by both @saltyowlets and @nonagesimus! I will not be tagging anyone because Wednesday is nearly over and I am getting this post out by the skin of my teeth myself lol

In an unfortunate (fortunate) and unexpected turn of events, I have found myself positively entrenched in an AU (or maybe it's canon now, we'll see, I have no control!) in which Daphne goes buckwild in the South with beloved characters from earlier games during the time postgame in which I imagine she and Lucanis have broken up because of The Crows of It All. And now all my WIPs are about her and Fenris and it's working in a way I did not expect, so I am going a little nuts about it!

Anyway here's some of that:

“Tell me about him?” Fenris asks, and the question catches her off guard. “Do I have to?” she responds, flat. But she knows she will. There’s nothing else to do, not now that they’ve snuffed out the Venatori presence in town. They’ll rest here a few days before moving on to the fortress a day’s hike southeast.

“No, you don’t.” Fenris says, and he stands, and starts removing the belt his daggers are strapped to, unsheathing them and laying them on the credenza where his gauntlets and braces are already lined up. He shrugs off his shearling vest, and Daphne watches the easy way his shoulders roll, before he turns and drapes the vest along the back of the chair he’d just been sitting in.

That old feeling prickles up the back of her throat. Pine tar and sawdust. An ancient snarl of things unsaid that seems as much a part of her as bone and breath some days. 

“We weren’t good at talking to each other,” she says. “It’s why I left.”

Fenris pauses, fingers stilling at the laces of his pauldrons, and she rises from the bed, crosses to him. When she reaches out, he drops his hands from the ties and lets her undo them herself, lift them off his shoulders.

“Our time in the Veilguard, his work with the Crows, it weighed on us,” she continues, and Fenris takes the pauldrons from her, sets them carefully aside. When he turns back, he lifts an arm and she steps in close, ducking under the limb to loosen the strap of his breastplate. She runs the smooth leather and the cold metal of the rivets and buckle under her thumb, before stepping out to let him turn and offer her his other side.

“I was afraid,” she says, repeating the gesture, then guiding him with a hand at his waist to turn and face her head-on. His face is still, stony, though he watches her with rapt attention as she reaches for the strap at his right shoulder. “Of losing him. I had no family, in the Mourn Watch, and the Veilguard had splintered. I was lost. So I said nothing, kept things from him.”

“I find that difficult to believe,” Fenris says, and she’s moved so close that the air between them vibrates with the timbre of his voice. 

She quirks her lips, then says, “It’s easier, here. I am not a Watcher, not Rook, not the First Talon’s partner. I am,” she stops. Because the word she was about to say is one she has longed for all her life, and yet it stills on her tongue.

“You are Daphne,” Fenris finishes. And her name, said here, said now, by a friend, with no one else around to think of any of the other things she has been called, is a sound sweet as morning dew.

She nods, moves to work the buckle at Fenris’s left shoulder. He puts a hand at her hip, steadying her, fingers barely grazing the leather of her leggings.

“He is kind,” she says, the continuation a desperate bid against the way her heart has started hammering at her chest, rabbit-quick. “In a way his work does not often allow him to indulge.”

The breastplate is ready to remove, but it would require their parting, and Daphne’s pulse is fluttering wild in her throat, she’s struggling to keep her breathing even, but she cannot bring her self to step back. She stays close.

His fingers are still at her hip when he says, “It would appear you have a type.”

She shifts her attention from the armor still hanging from his body, turns her head to look him in the eye, amusement at his own remark glimmering there, crouching in the corners of his mouth. 

“And what makes you think you have sufficient evidence to back that claim?” she asks, and it’s a little more breathless than she’d been hoping.

“Am I supposed to pretend I have not noticed?” Fenris asks. He takes a step back of his own, and finally sheds his armor.

“No. That rather defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”

[call-2-arms]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. 

tagged by: stolen from my other blog :)  tagging: @snowbrn​ @threads-of-destiny​ (Fenris) @thedasonfire​ (Solas) @serbrienneoftarth​ @scndor​

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated 

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. Hard to answer, and I wouldn’t say he’s UNPOPULAR, he’s just... not as popular as say... Dany or Jon are? Or even Cersei, tbh. If there were a more middle ground option, I’d definitely he’s more middle. Sometimes I feel like he’s a forgotten character despite the massive role he’s played in the series. 

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Not only is Jaime known to be attractive and look the part of a king in the entire series, but Nikolaj is honestly just a super attractive male with a smile that could kill. I haven’t heard many people say that he’s an unattractive person, so this is definitely a yes. He might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but he’s enough of a looker that his reputation proceeds him. 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Okay so... this is complicated. Because many would see Jaime as weak because of his flaws, which is fair... And then they would also say he’s weak because he doesn’t have his sword hand any longer. But overall, Jaime is a strong character throughout the series, especially as a swordsman. He is one of the best swordsmen in Westeros, and I think there are MANY people who forget that little fact about him because in the series he was softening by the end of it. I think that’s where the fandom can really misinterpret Jaime. He definitely has his flaws, but he’s still an exceptionally strong individual. 

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. I think so. I think it’s mainly because I feel like he’s misunderstood by a lot of the fandom. I’m not excusing any of his shitty behaviour, but when you’ve got heroes like Jon Snow and Dany, and even Sansa, and strong villains like Cersei, Joff and Ramsay, I think they are all the face of the series. Those characters are the main characters that people think of when they see Game of Thrones. So Jaime is seen more of a support character, even with his ties. Most people think Lannister, they think Cersei and Tyrion (because they have so much more screen/book time than Jaime does). That’s the thing about GoT though, I feel like there’s no real “main” character. I feel like no matter who it is, there’s always a little love for them in the fandom, and I love that about the fandom. But overall, yes, I would say he’s definitely the third Lannister when thinking of the siblings.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. He’s kind of the entire reason why there’s a war in the first place tbh... He pushed a kid out a window and all hell broke loose :’D 

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. He’s a member of one of the great Houses of Westeros. He plays a big part. 

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. Oh yes, greatly known, and for many reasons. Mostly he’s known for being a king slayer, though. 

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. It depends on who you ask, but throughout most of Westeros and during the series, he does not have a good reputation. Well known for his fighting skills and handsome features are about the only good reasons, everything else comes down to his relationship with his sister (sexual included) and the fact that he is a man without honour. Only by the end of the series does his reputation change, and even then, it is small. Jaime will never recover from what he has done.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I’m fairly strict with what I go with. I stick to a strong, canon foundation because it’s a part of Jaime that is essentially who he IS as a character. It’s why I enjoy writing him, and I’m not going to take that away from him. The only divergencies are the fact that I prefer he not die in season 8 and I also write my Jaime as demisexual/romantic. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Jaime is complicated. There is no saying he is a simple character, he has layer upon layer, and discovering that is a joy. Or at least it is for me, lol. I, personally, think Jaime is such a UNIQUE character because he actually isn’t a liar compared to his siblings. Between the bickering, Jaime is actually exceptionally forward, but because people don’t expect any Lannister to be honest, it’s a joy seeing how he can use that to his advantage. He often says cryptic, sarcastic comments that people think are him being sly and dishonest, but he’s actually being completely blunt that it’s hard to tell if Jaime is actually telling the truth or playing a game. I think that’s just a really fun trait to explore when getting to write and interact with him. Also, who doesn’t like interacting with a sarcastic arsehole? X’D Deep down, Jaime has a lot of complicated issues, however, especially when it comes to family and how he is supposed to be seen. He says he doesn’t care, but he cares deeply, he brushes everything off like it’s nothing, but he’s crippled on the inside. Jaime is just one of those really strong on the outside but weak on the inside characters, and I love getting to explore that. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — I think the fact that Jaime has been in an incest relationship for his entire life, that would definitely push people away from really caring or interacting with him. And if that’s a trigger for someone, then I totally understand why they’d want to stay away. That’s fair. Jaime can also come off as selfish and cruel, with a bad temper. People might not have the PATIENCE for him, when that’s really what he needs. He needs someone to help guide him to be a better person, to remove himself from the toxicity of ... well, his entire life, lol. He can also, like mentioned in the last questions, be cryptic as fuck. He is handicapped, he can be emotionally unstable, has PTSD and honestly just has a LOT going on, and trying to push past that to make him grow as a person and a character could be too much for folks to deal with (I think that’s a plus, but I can understand why he might not be popular lol).

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  Jaime has been one of my favourite characters ever since I got interested in the series. I was nervous as hell to join the GoTRP community because I’d never read the books before (and still haven’t finished them lol), but I adored his character from the start, especially when a redemption arc began to happen. Look, I’m a sucker for redemption arcs and character growth, learning about his past and his secret about why he killed the Mad King. Those things are things that draw me to characters, villain characters who try to be better, who learn, who become softer. I LOVE that growth, and that’s definitely what kept me interested in Jaime. His in depth character only made my drive for wanting to delve into his head stronger. I love complicated characters, I love grey characters, I love characters that have layers I can pick through and analyse. I have also always been highly interested in sexual mental health and health in general (and have been interested in psychology for ever since I was little lol), so he was right up my ally. 

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Definitely rewatching the series (which I desperately need to do lol), and reading the novels (which I’m VERY slow with but absolutely love them!). What really keeps me interested is definitely my RP partners though, and keeping active within the writing community. I love getting to interact with everyone. 

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? I have severe duplicate insecurities like most people do, but I’m pretty happy with the grasp I have on Jaime’s character overall. It’s hard to write post season 8 Jaime without a book to go to and compare against the series, so I try and keep them pretty level with each other and find a happy place in the middle. I also know I most likely write Jaime a little more emotionally traumatised, but I try to keep what happened to him real, and that has repercussions. 

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? I need to move them over to this blog, but NOT ENOUGH. I really need to rewatch and continue the book series to get my head around more headcanons. Also I just haven’t had ANY time this year for much at all when it comes to headcanons, because I am so exhausted after work  

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. For Jaime, unfortunately, no. I keep most of my drabbles to my Dragon Age protags. I would love to though... if I had time, lol. 

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. Absolutely. Hyperfocus like a champ over here, lol. 

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? I think there’s always room for improvement, but I’m pretty happy with my portrayal so far. I try my hardest to keep him pretty canon, and the feedback I’ve had from my partners has always been so kind and reassuring <3

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I’ve been writing Dragon Age for so long... I feel like I don’t know a lot of the lore when it comes to GoT. I sometimes have to Wiki things I forget, names I don’t remember, and alliances and plots because I’m BAD with politics okay? I’m terrible with it all. Writing helps me learn those things, but if I’m not interested, I find it tedious to go and research (ASD/ADHD).

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA. It depends. Some things I really don’t care about, others I do. It entirely depends on my mood and the day, and how the stars align lol. Or... how tired I am, haha. It really just depends. I will be more sensitive if I’m hurt from someone that means something to me, or someone I look up to. Other days I just can’t be fucked because I’m too old and tired to deal with it. 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I’m going to have to say “no” on this. It’s purely because i’m not ASKING for criticism. If I was, then that’s fair because I’m actively SEEKING to be better. Right now, Jaime is a hobby and not a muse that I am constantly working on. He’s a tertiary muse that I’m here to just have a good time with and research when I feel the need to. Outside of that, if you don’t like my portrayal then you don’t have to interact with me and that’s fine. If you think my Jaime is too emotional, I’m working off mostly season 8 things which we have no book to look back on, so it’s mostly me basing everything off his past reactions and character development. If you have issues on the way I see his and Cersei’s relationship and it being toxic despite his love for her, that’s a whole diff convo lol. At the end of the day... I’m writing him the way he comes to me, and if you don’t enjoy it then that’s all good, just don’t get in my face about it. 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  Absolutely, they help with getting to know little things about him that I may never have thought about before. I love those kinds of character development questions. 

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I guess it depends on what type of headcanon it is. I generally try and base my headcanons off solid evidence within his character background and events within the series. If someone doesn’t agree with me, it’s literally not the end of the world and it’s not worth arguing over--we all have out different portrayals and I’m not the original writer lol. If you’re going to get cranky at me because my Jaime enjoys the company of men as well once he’s able to explore himself sexually, then I really couldn’t give a fuck. As a gay man, it helps me enjoy the character a little bit more and identify with him, and I write Jaime as demi anyway. Plus, I also don’t write it in a sense that it’s not something he doesn’t struggle with considering Westeros is not open to such things. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I don’t actively go looking through Jaime hate tags, so I’ve never run into this? If someone follows me and hates Jaime, then I just think it’s stupid that they followed me in the first place? Obviously now that he’s on a multi, that’s a little bit more complicated, but everyone is free to not interact with him and still interact with my other characters here lol. If I follow someone and then see them actively posting hate about him, I would simply unfollow. That’s it. I’m not here to fight and argue, I’m here to have a good time, and I’m not going to force anyone to enjoy a character they don’t. 

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Mistakes happen, I don’t always look over my reply before posting, and more often then not, I’m tired as hell when I’m writing anyway so there might be errors from time to time. I can guarantee there’s probably some in this meme lol. If a little red squiggle doesn’t come up beneath the word, then I’ve probably not fixed it. In saying that, if you’re coming to me every time I make a typo... I will begin to get annoyed. It’s a small thing, get over it and move on. If you can’t, then maybe I’m not the right person to be writing with if it’s causing you that much stress. If I’ve completely butchered a sentence (which has happened!), then just give me a polite nudge and go “hey did you mean to write this instead?” and I’ll probably feel embarrassed and laugh about it and be like yeah sorry, I meant that :’D 

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  When there’s not a pandemic going on in the world, I’m certainly very easy going, lol. It takes a fair bit to piss me off, and it’s got to be pretty repetitive for me to start going... mmm, there’s a pattern here and I don’t like it. But generally speaking, if you’re nice to me, I’m nice back. I don’t go looking for fights and arguments, and my nature has certainly meant people have abused me in the past. I’m often too empathetic and because I avoid trying to make a fuss and cause confrontation, I often let people do whatever. I’ve... somewhat learned from past experiences to NOT do this to myself, which I guess has made me a little bit less easy going. That and just generally getting older and not having the time to care about petty things might make me come off as a hard arse at times. But look... I’m not going to be a dickhead to anyone who doesn’t deserve it, okay? I get we’re all anxious, I get we’re all curious, I get that we all have opinions. Don’t be a dick and you don’t have anything to worry about. I can sometimes be blunt, but most people learn that that’s just me. Maybe it’s an Aussie thing, maybe it’s a me thing. Probably a combination of the two... my mother always did say I was very blunt. >.> Sometimes that’s a good thing when people want or need advice, but if it’s not what you want to hear, then don’t come asking, because I can be very honest.