#i am begging anyone in this void tonight

[deathbringerdragon]

I am having am absolutely miserable and painful evening this new years eve.

Am sick. Thus can't be out in the living room celebrating with family.

Puking. Coughing. Nose bleeds from puking. Cramps. Headache from puking. Sore throat. Hungry but can't eat cuz puking. Ribs hurt from coughing and puking. Cant even relax in my own room because Puking.

Someone do me a favor and write the most Whump and Angst filled fic possible for Shrike and Beebs so that way I am not the only one so miserable they're sitting in the bathroom crying.

I am begging any of you i need solice in my favorite characters' suffering.

[writella]

Go to Sleep

Synopsis: Daryl and the reader explore a new way of trying to help you get to sleep.

Details: Smut, 18+, soft-dom!Daryl, afab!reader, tiny bit of mean Daryl but not really, tiny bit of somnophilia but in the end it isn’t really either, Daryl reveals a little of his praise kink, thigh riding, oral (reader receiving), brief descriptions of anxiety, but ends sweetly. wc: 2.8k.

You hate the feeling of having your eyes closed but being so, desperately awake. It feels like a frustrating loop of constantly thinking about the thing you should be doing, the peace you should be feeling, but you simply, just, can’t.

It’s not like when you’re sitting out in the woods, the sun so nice and bright as you rest upon a tree, or when you’re on a ride with Daryl and you close your eyes, resting on his shoulder as the wind hits your face. It doesn’t feel warm and safe; it feels like a dark, void space, and you’re running endlessly to nowhere.

This is how it was, you had been having terrible sleep for weeks now. You felt it in your throat and in your chest whenever— and it was every time— that you woke up with your heart pounding in the middle of the night. You felt your heart beating without even touching your body, and it made you want to throw up.

This is why Daryl had slept with you for the past two weeks, hoping to ease your thoughts.

What you and Daryl had remained undefined at this point. He was loyal and cared for you deeply, but he was also independent and enjoyed doing things at his own pace— initiating wasn’t his strong suit.

This is also why, just the other night nearing twelve am, you had to beg Daryl to take you around the Alexandria houses for a fourth time on his bike before allowing him to leave you on your doorstep. This is where you admitted what was going on, “Please,” you asked sadly, “When I’m alone… I just- I just start thinking too much. I can’t sleep.”

So of course, he took you around again. He didn’t even say anything, just grabbed one of your hands tighter around him, starting to ride slowly. Firstly because he wasn’t trying to wake anyone up, and secondly because he was trying to make it last longer for you. He went around five more times.

Every time you saw your home approaching again your eyes dropped knowing what was coming until he just kept going. But after the fifth time, just when you hoped maybe this was a dream where you could just go around in peaceful circles all night with Daryl, he stopped. He had to sleep too.

He stood between his bike then, waiting for you to get your door, but you moved at a deafeningly slow pace. You hated the darkness that was beginning to weigh behind your eyes. You hated the night now and you hated it even more when you weren’t with him. So, as you hit the top step, you turned back around, running up to him.

Your eyes were meek when you paused before making your final request, “Daryl… please, will you stay with me?”

And that did it: as if you already hadn’t made him go around the neighborhood almost 10 times, those were the words that hit him at the bottom of his heart the most. Neither of you were ever as forward as you were being that night and he couldn’t say no. You told him that you needed him.

The first night was a success, in fact. You happened to fall asleep quite quickly as his strong arms held you down, grounding you in safety. Though as the days trailed on, it seemed that wasn’t exactly enough anymore. Your intrusive thoughts always found a way of sneaking in through Daryl’s stronghold.

Tonight was a night like that. Your eyes were closed, but your mind was very much awake.

You had initially gone to sleep on your side— you both were. Daryl’s face was almost touching yours.

He wasn’t much of a talker all the time, but the typical method that had been working other than laying on his chest was asking him about his day, what things he might have gathered from any trips outside, or seeing if, and it was only on rare occasions, he would tell you a story from his past.

There weren’t many fond memories, but he would always find something: maybe about one of his first hunting trips, or some hijinks he and his brother got into before he ditched when Daryl was a kid… but he didn’t like casually talking about his brother. He’d keep those short for now. You waited patiently for them to get longer. Either way, the stories always helped you get to that initial sleep, so he’d make sure to find one to tell if it made you feel better.

But now you were still awake and Daryl was seemingly asleep. You knew he could probably tell you were turning and shifting at some points, but you didn’t want to truly wake him up yet. It felt greedy after he was being so giving. And it was so rare to see him so peaceful. His eyes were usually elusive and stern. You might have started to know him more than others, but still, it wasn’t all the time that you could tell what was in his head. He was always guarded, especially between the mouth and eyes, but when he was asleep, his face relaxed.

Though the insomnia was killing you, it was nice to see him like this— he was just so handsome. His hair, his lips, his arms— you were obsessed with every shirt he ruined by cutting the sleeve— his abdomen, you almost grazed his lower stomach with your finger tips, thinking about if and how much you would love his-

Then a thought came up.

Probably worse than waking him up even though that would do it regardless, but you moved mindlessly before really thinking about it.

Your legs slid forward, slotting Daryl’s top leg that perched forward, knee almost touching your leg, in the middle of your own two.

Your legs move up a bit and you brush yourself against his thigh once, the movement is so small, then twice, the slight friction feels good, your eyes finally close again, but then you stop. What were you doing? Your head turns face first into the bed and stays there for a moment, quietly letting out your frustration into the sheet.

“You gonna move or what?” It comes out as a grumble and it makes you jut.

You’ve been caught.

“You ain’t slick,” his eyes are still closed, “but go on.” He takes his top leg out from between you and places it better, from the awkwardness ‘trying’ to not wake him up angle you had it at before.

You hold his top shoulder and he holds you right by the waist and you begin to rock. Daryl starts to flex his quad up into you as you grind down onto him. Your wetness finally seeping up so that your lips open a little as they push and rock against him. You can now feel your clit getting more attention from the hard pressure his thigh causes against you.

Daryl opens his eyes for a moment, yours are closed. Face twisted and eyes scrunched as you let out short breaths. You were invested in getting yourself off, you grinded down faster, his hands on your hips now were loose allowing you to go as hard as you pleased, for a minute, then another, and then another until he stopped you.

He pushed his hands and fingertips hard into your hips, deciding he wanted to control the pace. He pushed you into him slow and deep and despite it feeling good, you wanted to go fast, to stop thinking. It made you whine, complainingly as you came down from the high you felt you could have reached. “But Daryl-”

“Shut up.” It sounded like a quiet bark.

You were getting him riled up, yes, but it was also a full moon tonight and Daryl would rather be sleeping on the hard rock ground under the stars than in a bed, only being able to stare at the sky from a window. Even though he knew you had been feeling anxious about something for a while, and he wanted to make you feel okay, he can’t lie, your sleep not improving was starting to get on his nerves a bit. And especially so tonight when your restlessness kept him up the whole time, despite you not knowing.

He allowed you to keep riding him at his pace for a moment until he got a new idea: he pushed your leg off and you gave an exasperated sighed, frustrated at the feeling of nothingness. “Shh,” was all he whispered, it came out sharp.

“Daryl, let’s just-”

“Stop.” He took you by the face when he said it, squeezing your jaw roughly. “Don’t talk.”

He lays you on your back and takes off your pants you were sleeping with, they’re ruined, and you weren’t wearing any underwear after your shower. The blanket is pushed to his side of the bed now as he goes downward, spreading your legs, not too wide but just enough for him to get in between. Holding your thighs, his thumbs kneading the skin on the inner side. He licks the outside of your hole, almost slurping in your wetness as he does it just so he could move it up your pussy toward your clit and sucks in again. He lays his tongue flat and presses back down again, repeating the motion, making you even more wet, everywhere.

Your upper back moved forward, your elbows and forearms propped up so you could watch. This felt better than before, even with his slower movements, he felt so good there so instantly that you couldn’t help yourself but staying up to look, but after he sees you he stops.

Silently, Daryl pushes your shoulders back into the bed, you can’t tell if he was only accidentally being rough. He pushes your pillow up only slightly against the headboard, just enough so your head wasn’t completely propped up, but just so if you wanted to move your head to the side you could still look if you wanted to when you realized you could. “Stay,” then begrudgedy he adds, “and close your eyes.”

Daryl went down again, making his pace slower than before: His lips and tongue sucked in your clit again, it coming into his mouth as much as the little thing could and he repeats it again until he had peppered you there with slobbery kisses and then he moved to one side of your labia, his lips slotting themselves above and under that one side as his tongue goes out and in, kissing you deeply. The man was literally making out with your pussy.

Just as he would with your mouth, his head turned and leaned into it, pushing his tongue in and pressing against you, his lips in between one of your own down there as he did so. He went in the middle of you again, his nose rubbing against your clit a few times as his tongue went lower, sucking in more of your wetness again. His nose brushing against you made you shudder.

Your eyes were still closed, but they scrunched even harder now and your head started shaking side to side. You have never felt him down there being so intentional, deliberate, and intense. Something so surprisingly romantic, but still so fucking dirty and sexy. He has pushed your wetness everywhere. You felt like a dripping mess and more than half of his face was all coated in it and it just felt so good.

He moved to the other side of your pussy now, giving it the same attention as he did the first. Making out with you down there as if he could do it forever. So slow, but it felt so warm and deep.

You felt him suck you in and swallow some of your wetness. He hummed into you as he did it, a raspy “mmmm” melted into you and it made you moan, the sound coming from you instantaneously because of the vibration you felt down there from his voice. You covered your mouth, your house was quiet and you didn’t want to wake anyone up but the more he continued, the harder it was becoming.

Now, his lip suctioned your pussy lip in between his and he slid down, tongue trailing the inner side until he was able to slot his tongue inside your hole, staying there and still kissing you. Moving his tongue in and out now, still slowly, feeling every bit as he moved.

Your quiet pants were continuous, but you were trying hard to hold in your noises. Not wanting to wake up anybody else you lived with, but also not knowing if Daryl would stop again if you spoke too much.

To your misfortune, he stopped anyway. Your eyes open and push your head to the side of your pillow so you can look down at him. Your mouth was open, but you made sure not to complain.

His chin almost rested on your mound, he was already looking up. “Does it feel good?” You couldn’t read his eyes, but his voice was surprisingly tender and questioning.

You assured him immediately, “yes,” you whispered giggling. You brush his hair with your fingers, undoing some tangles. You got lost in his eyes for a moment before he went down again.

“Tell me,” he says, it almost sounds muffled as he sucks you in until he takes a breath to say more clearly, “I wanna hear you now.”

“Don’t wanna get to loud,” you’re breathless.

He licks you off his lips, looking you in the eye, “so don’t.”

Daryl starts going faster now, breathing you in and humming, knowing you can feel the vibrations, jerk. “Mmm, Daryl, please.” You start to pant again, still too scared you might let yourself go too far.

His fingers spread wide, splaying over to your lower stomach, pushing down until he reaches your tit and circling your nipples. His other hand joins him, it makes you inhale sharply. With that and the way he circled your hole, trying to get his tongue to go in and press as much as he could, it caused you to jerk up, taking one of his hands in your own, squeezing it. Your other hand went to his hair. His fingers weren’t even inside of you, but his hands felt so big no matter where he touched you and his tongue felt incredible, you didn’t know how he did it and it made you start to loose it, “ah- Daryl-”

“You like that?” He pushed you hand off his head and he took his free hand to finger your clit and he went back to sucking and making out with you toward your center. It all makes you nod your head, shaking quickly.

“Say it.”

“I like it,” it came out as a whispered shriek. “I like it, I like it,” you were breathless, “Daryl you feel so good.” You were holding on as hard as you could, but it wasn’t working. Your thighs came to close in on his face but he pushed his hands into your inner legs opening them even further and he kept going down, his nose pressing into you.

His mouth moved up again making out with your clit and lips on top and two of his fingers went into your hole.

You held onto his other hand again and squeezed and he thrusted his fingers into you hard and fast, he wanted to make you reach the end now.

“Oh- Daryl- oh my god,” you were coming out pathetically now as his fingers started to curl into you, and he added another.

Suddenly, you felt it. Right at the bottom of your stomach, the spark, the indescribable electricity as he kept humming into you on top and jamming into you at the bottom. All you heard was the squelch of you and his fingers and tongue lapping and lapping until you let out as much of a suppressed moan as you could release as you came.

Your eyes finally relaxed as you settled down and Daryl sat up on the bed, watching your breathing slow.

He stayed there for a moment, looking at how the night’s light shined on you from the window.

You had pulled the blanket over your legs again but he pulled it off. You didn’t know exactly what he was doing but your eyes were still closed. You were tired and sexed out now, you couldn’t get yourself to open them or ask questions, and it wasn’t a particularly cold night anyway and you still had his shirt on. You let it be, your mind finally drifting until you heard quiet footsteps travel down stairs, until they quickly ascended again.

Daryl took you by the upper back and under your knees, picking you up. With no words he took you to the front porch, gently laid you on the blanket, the side closest to the door. He laid himself on the opposite, closest to the sky.

You’re curled into his chest, you almost looked like a kitten, arm over him, fist curling into your chin contentedly, eyes closed and so peaceful, but you still kept nestling.

“Go to sleep,” he insisted softly. His hand went into your hair, lulling you further into your trance. This time it worked. He did everything right and now the trick was paying off, you couldn’t help but fall closer and closer into your slumber.

Daryl turned to his left to look at the moon, its gentle gleam finally coaxing him into his own sleep as well.

[echantedtoon]

Tonight

First time writing for this guy. If he comes out ooc in this I apologize but for now let's go!! Can take as yandere or not.

The darkness of night was always dangerous to those whom did not heed the warnings of the monsters whom lurked within the abyss and shadows.

The woman knew that more than anyone else very well. Often finding herself confined within it's hold. Innocence ensnared like a bird within it's cage. Singing it's innocent melodies despite being condemned to be surrounded by cold iron bars. Forever ongoing. Swirling, swirling around

The sun sank beneath the horizon to make way for his sister the moon to take her rightful place upon her throne of darkness surrounded by her army men of stars and comets. 'Cone out!' She cried out to her dark children that hid from the light. 'My brother and his infernal light is gone. Once more come out to greet your mother and wreck discord upon thine earth. Have your fun dancing in my gentle glow and bask in the darkness that I reign upon as I watch over you.' The monsters woul answer their mother's cries. Dancing. Reigning havoc over the darkness. Bringing entropy to every household they manage to invade.

A fire warmed up the skin as your lazy eyes watched the dancing flames in the pit. The flickering lights casted dancing shadows the lonely still walls. They frolicked in tune with their own rythme in their own universe. However the warmth of the fire kept your body warm and toasted from the cold outside. No doubt crawling with monsters and demons of the abyss walking forth towards you with every step they took. In tune with every breath you took. 

Step. Step. Step.

Closer and closer. Footsteps soft yet loud enough to echo through the darkness and approaching fast the house with remaining light. Light that offered warm and comfort but not protection

F/c eyes opened slightly and turned. A door normally provided comfort and protection was no match for the class that ensnared it and pushed it open allowing the night and shadows to spill inside. The sinful, wicked smile was delighted to see the one of the blank expression back to him.

"Well now. Hello, Beautiful.~ Do you mind if I come in and warm myself by your fire?"

The expressionless void of her face gave no response to the man of sunlight hair expectantly tilting his head back to her.

"You look at me with cold eyes. You see me me and turn away as if you didn't know me."

"...Do I know you?"

"You know that I couldn't have shown you me. Gave you me. I couldn't show you my weakness so I put on a mask to see you but I still want you. A flower that resembles you blossomed in this garden of loneliness. I wanted to give it to you as I rip off this mask. But I know this can't go on forever."

Her eyes still gazed at the ground. Her body small but still so strong as to crush his soul. Rip his heart out to serve on a platter to herself but somehow still rejected the notion she could do that. The whole world sitting in her grasp yet she was completely naive to it or didn't care she had it.

"I will not satisfy your desires for more than what was agreed. I can accept your apologies but I cannot forgive."

"I have made peace with that notion. But I am not here to beg for forgiveness that I will never receive, for I have hurt you and I accept you're stubborn enough to always hold that grudge."

Her form was ever calm. Looking at him for what felt like a millennia of wait. Time vanishing and space darkening except for the gravitational orbit of beauty that revolved around his mind and shown through his sights since the day he laid his eyes on her visage.

"Then what is it do you seek from me, Shinji?"

"It's not what I seek. It's what I desire. Wishing that love is as perfect itself. Wishing all my weaknesses are hidden." The room fell sideways in his mind. An oozing feeling on continuous falling for her over and over again. Swallowed by the monster that demanded he claim and the beast that roared at him for everything he did wrong to be made right again. "In a life where nothing was ever genuine, you carved a piece out of my heart that will never feel complete unless you yourself abide by it's beating."

Her answer a head tilt. Eyes grazing the state he was in. Clawing through bodies. Ravaged by the onslaught of the horrors of war. No doubt such a sight she disliked but was more than ready to accept given the circumstances.

"What desire do you want that I haven't already given to you?"

Blood ran black fading to a possessive desire. A stark contrast the dripping liquid made compared to the delicate object the palm held out. Staining it purity by the blood of the slain and war. Presented to her gaze which widened slightly at soft petals. A beacon of softness in the blight around them.

A flower.

So delicate and small. It's once pure petals soaked in his tainted blood like some offering. The blood he was covered in was his own, caused by an enemy in battle no doubt, and karma for hurting her by leaving in the first place.

"Accept my devotion and become my partner. A place not beneath but beside me. For we were lovers before we were ever born in this world. My name shall be your own, your blood shall be mine, and all combinations of life will be one. Accept all of me, as I already have all of you."

She stared at him like that he told her was the most foolish thing he ever said. Heart racing. Eyes staring. Her hand slowly reaching out to him. His eyes widening as the desire he's been wanting finally being fulfilled- Until she stopped.

Her lungs filled with a shaking breath. "....Finish talking if you must, but I have no intention of bowing to a king who wears a crown studded with the jewels of every sin he committed. Who's hands are stained with every life he's taken."

For once he looked taken aback stopping just a few steps away from herself. "I-....Can not leave so easily."

"Then why?" Her face as cold as the blade he used, cutting him to the core with just her eyes. "It was so easy the first time."

"Why? You have got the arms I want to be wrapped in. You have got the eyes I want to get lost in. You have the smile I can never resist. You have got the voice I want to listen to for hours. I decided on you. I want you and only you."

"I fell in love with your words! Unfortunately they were all lies!"

"No. That's not true." His face unwavering as he approached her once more. "I didn't lie that I love you. It wasn't a lie before and it certainly isn't a lie now."

Her body did not give him the satisfaction of an embrace nor the courtesy of a smile as his other hand caressed her cheeks.

"You're a dangerous man."

"The most dangerous person is the one who listens, thinks, and observes."

"And that means what to me?"

His face unchanged as did hers as the two stared. Both in familiarity and as strangers to each other. Bound by a string he continued to refuse to be cut to untie them.

"I'm not so sure yet myself but for now..my mind is unchanged."

[am-i-writing]

At a night like this

The moon is bright tonight. There aren’t any clouds, it isn’t too cold, the company is nice. The beer is good. Most people are a bit tipsy, some drunk, some sober. It’s fun. It’s the kind of situation where you forget that the world and its residents are in shambles. I like nights like this. My life seems good at a night like this. I know it isn’t, it never will be. I am dying. I know that I am, my friends do too. I usually talk pretty openly about it, it isn’t a secret and it isn’t something I can fight. Cancer. The doctors said I have around one more month and that there wasn’t anything anyone could do. I should just “live life as full as possible”. And I am. I have a girlfriend, she is the most amazing girl I have ever met. My friends cried for me when they found out, but now they seem to have accepted it. I know my death will still break them, but I am sure that they will handle their grief in a semi healthy way. I’m glad that I could help them with that. A large part of my life has been occupied with thinking about death, so helping them was something that wasn’t really hard for me. I am lying on the soft grass, my fingers intertwined with those of my girlfriend. “The stars make me think of you. I don’t know why, they just do.” She turns her head to face me. I am again reminded of just how much I love her. The diagnose is 29 days ago. Death is creeping closer with every second. I hope she’s gentle with me. “You’ve been through a lot. You don’t deserve any of this. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t-“ Tears are falling from her face. She is all choked up, almost hyperventilating. I don’t know what to do, so I just lie there. There’s a silent tear rolling down my cheek. I am 17 years old. I know that she is right. I deserve better than any of this. I don’t deserve to die. But I can’t change it, so I won’t waste my time or energy trying to. “Please say something” She is almost begging now. It breaks my heart, hearing the one person I love more than anything beg for me to respond to her. But I just keep watching the night sky, looking for something, a shooting star maybe, anything that could be taken as a sign from the universe or god or anyone really. And then I hear her get up. Sitting up, taking some deep breaths, standing up. “ I love you. I always will. But I won’t let you just lie here, without fighting back. Fight back. Don’t leave me here alone without you. I love you.” With that, she leaves me, going back to the fire and the rest of our friends. Another tear. A long, sad, desperate sigh. And that’s when I feel it. There isn’t enough air. The cancer in my lungs has at last started to kill me. These will be my last minutes. Getting up would be too exhausting, it would most likely cause me to die right there. So I just lie there. Letting the void take me in slowly. The moon seemed bright tonight. I hope everyone will be fine without me. I know they will. I want them to have more nights like this

[blueeyedskysblog]

What a shame, what a waste of a weekend night,

All alone here, you're so far out of sight,

Distantly calling out my name,

Come to me darling, what a shame.

Two peas in a pod, birds of a feather,

What a shame that we just can't be together,

Shadowed love, seeing twinkles in your eyes,

Hold me so close, hold me tight.

Dancing in the dark, lonely stares from the eyes,

Softly spoken whispers of a treacherous goodbye,

Then a crash, what a shame for my mask to fall,

Sorrow dances, splendidly, slipping out to the hall,

So elegant and beautiful, all it takes is one touch,

Can we keep on dancing? Will it ever be enough?

Can you feel the rhythm? Can you feel my soul?

Heart beats faster, but where can we go?

Sorrow sees the tears I leave, holding me so close,

I see the pain, I know it hurts you to see me so,

Please don't blame me for how sorrow moves,

You cant help me, they know all my roots,

You're in the way, I don't want anymore goodbyes,

Sorrow is sporadic, creeping through our lives,

Tug of war, back and forth, ripping at the seams,

I promise to visit, you'll see me in your dreams,

Sorrows dance goes on and on, a never ending show,

I hear your warnings, pleadings, please don't go,

Your voice is angelic, I feel it deeper in my mind,

Please say you need me, is it already that time?

I wish this wasn't who I am, it's not who I want to be,

Locked in a cage, and it's filling, as far as I can see,

You wipe away my tears, please take me by the hand,

You keep on talking, I think you finally understand,

Gifts of peace, jealousy of a once happy life,

Gripping tighter, it's in the air tonight,

I can feel your heart again and again with me

Please, oh God, please, just set me free,

I feel your breath, your fingers trace my skin,

Compliments and pleasantries begging to come in,

Your comfort and sorrows chaos all at war,

I don't want this, always begging you for more,

Words crash to the ground like bullets from the sky,

You really think you can save me? Who better than I?

Reassurance, laughs and a soft hearted smile,

This war is going on forever, we only have awhile,

Sorrow pulls the strings of my quartet,

You cut them down, covered in a cold sweat,

Can we really win this? Can we really leave?

I want to escape, I know where we can be,

Thank you for the assistance, thank you for the help,

I said no more goodbyes hun, you know the pain I felt,

I see it creeping into you, I see it just the same,

So we flip the coin of you and I, damn, what a shame.

Once a beautiful smile, now gritted in the depths,

Is this really how I sounded? Peace after death?

Please just listen to me, please just come back,

I know all of sorrows moves, collecting their plaques,

You don't have to take this burden, not all alone,

I know the pain I've caused, I know what I've shown,

If I could take it back I would, regret is the worst,

Reach out to me, anyone, we know you're not the first,

Can you feel me with you? Can you hear my voice?

What did sorrow tell you? I know it's not your choice,

The void is darkness and misery all entwined,

Prayers and hope for anything, the stars aligned,

It starts small, but I can see it, eating at your flesh,

Please stay with me, please don't go to rest,

I know I'm being selfish, I can see all the signs

The pain we all cause, human nature's not divine,

I can cut the ropes, I can bring you out,

Take the first step, I'll build a bride, lose the doubt,

Come to me darling, what a shame,

Distantly calling out your name,

Two peas in a pod, birds of a feather,

What a shame that we just can't be together,

Shadowed love, seeing twinkles in my eyes,

Hold you so close, hold you tight.

I see the haze around us, don't know if we can stay,

Carry our war with us, couldn't have it any other way,

Leaning for support, lovingly goes on the name,

We won't slip, or back track, Sorrow lost this game.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Based on a prompt by @bekindreblog

It’s an awful party, and Midge regrets agreeing to come, but Susie had practically begged, and so here she is, dressed in a glittery black evening gown at Sophie Lennon’s retirement gala.

So far, it seems like anyone who’s anyone who’s here tonight is here under duress. Even Gordon, usually always happy for a party to go to, stands at the bar with a half-consumed drink, looking at his watch every now and then.

“My manager told me I could leave after two hours,” he tells Midge.

She sighs. Two hours sounds like a dream. “I’m in it for the long haul, since we have the same manager.”

“I’m ordering you another drink,” Gordon tells her, before turning to the bartender. “A martini, up with olives for the lady, and make it strong.”

She laughs a little and shakes her head. Now that Gordon isn’t trying to bed her anymore, he’s become a good friend and ally. They’re constantly getting each other out of social and professional jams. It’s nice.

“Miriam!” Sophie booms as she steps over. “Gordon! Oh, I’m thrilled to see you both!”

“No she’s not,” Gordon says without a hint of mirth in his voice.

“She really isn’t,” Midge agrees, sipping her brand new drink.

But they humor Sophie anyways. Congratulating her on her retirement, making her feel special and important for a few moments.

But Midge gets fed up fast. “Will you both excuse me for a few moments? I need to powder my nose.”

“And I see Desi Arnaz,” Gordon says, seizing on the opportunity. “I need to speak with him about his upcoming interview on the show.”

They both give Sophie the same polite nod, and split up, so quick that Sophie doesn’t have a chance to stop them.

The bathroom is blissfully quiet, and she touches up her makeup in peace before slipping out again, but dawdles on her way back to the main event, peaking into different rooms. It’s been a while since she’s been to the Met, and it’s nice to look at the art there.

The last room she peaks into isn’t void of life.

Lenny is sitting on a bench, gazing at a Monet painting.

Midge wanders in, stepping in front of him to look at the name of the painting. “Bridge over a Pond of Water Lilies,”  she reads. “It’s beautiful.”

She turns to him, and finds Lenny’s gaze has shifted from the painting to her. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Beautiful.”

She smiles shyly and smooths out her dress. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I didn’t know you were here,” he repeats, grinning a little. “I figured you’d be as far away from this thing as possible.”

“Susie,” Midge shrugs in explanation.

He nods. “Yeah, my manager begged me to come, so...”

“Nice tux,” she tells him.

He smirks wryly. “Nice everything.”

“Watch it, friend,” she teases, sitting next to him.

“Miriam, how is anyone supposed to be just your friend when you look like that?” Lenny asks, lifting an eyebrow at her.

She waves a dismissive hand. “You’ve already seen what’s underneath, it’s not like there’s any mystery.”

“Mystery isn’t a requirement for desirability, Midge,” he reminds her.

She rolls her eyes a little and nudges his shoulder with hers. “How are you? I didn’t know you were back in town.”

“I got in last night,” he tells her. “I have a few shows. Some lawyer meetings. You know how it goes.”

Midge nods. “I do know how it goes.”

“Also, I hate California,” he admits. “Aside from my kid, it doesn’t offer much.”

She laughs a little. “The sun and the movie stars just not doing it for you?”

He rolls his eyes. “I miss weather. I miss real, good deli food. I miss street knish.”

“Three AM street knish is the best,” Midge confirms.

“Right? Nothing better than getting thrown out of a bar or a club, and wandering drunk down the street, finding a vendor and devouring a potato knish before sleeping it off,” he grins.

They stay quiet for a long moment before Lenny starts talking again.

“And I...miss you,” he admits.

“Oh?” Midge asks. “Not Jo-Jo or Alan?”

“Jo-Jo and Alan are terrible at giving head,” he tells her.

She cracks up laughing at that, shaking her head. “Well, it’s nice to know I’m multi-talented.”

“And how.”

Midge smiles and gazes at the painting again. “It really is beautiful. I love impressionism.”

“Yeah,” Lenny agrees. “Peaceful.”

“It makes me want to go there,” Midge says. “The one time I went to France, it was to convince my mother to come back to New York. I didn’t get to see much of it. A drag club. A restaurant or two. Not much else.”

“You’ll make it back,” he promises, reaching out and taking her hand, squeezing it gently.

“I hope so,” she smiles again, looking at their hands, letting her thumb brush over his knuckles. “You really did miss me.”

“Terribly,” he admits. “Horribly. I know I said we should just stay friends, but I think perhaps that was fucking stupid.”

She laughs again, softer this time, gazing at him.

“Are you seeing anyone?” he asks softly, a little hope in his eyes.

Midge shakes her head. “No. Gordon and I have been getting each other out of awkward social situations, but we’re just friends, and there hasn’t really been anyone else. Just work and the kids and avoiding my ex.”

“Would you...maybe like a little help avoiding your ex?” Lenny asks, lifting a playful eyebrow.

She shrugs casually. “Sure. Give me your underpants and I’ll leave them lying around for him to find the next time he comes to pick up the kids.”

He lets out a short, loud laugh, letting his head drop to her shoulder. “Please put me out of my misery.”

Midge lets go of his hand in favor of stroking his hair gently. “What did you have in mind?”

He lifts his head, gazing at her. “I just...miss being with you. I keep thinking about how happy I am when we’re together - arguments on lauded, historical stages notwithstanding - and I want more of that. I want it to be real.”

“Real takes a lot of work,” Midge reminds him gently. “We both have kids, we’re both self-destructive in wildly different ways, we both have careers and parents who hate our choices, and exes...”

“I want the work,” he promises. “I want it, Midge. I want you.”

She stares at him silently for a moment. Certainly, Joel has admitted to that before, when trying to get her back a couple of times, in the heat of the moment. But no one’s ever been so matter-of-fact about it. Like it was just true, and not a way to bully her into something.

A simple fact.

Midge leans in, resting her forehead against his for a moment, before kissing him, sliding her arms around him.

Lenny pulls her close, his thumbs brushing against the material of her dress. He sighs almost in relief when the kiss ends.

“How long are you stuck here for?” Lenny asks.

“Whole night,” she tells him. “Susie made me promise.”

He groans softly, letting his head slump to her shoulder again. “Fine. At least there’s booze. And you.”

Midge smiles and holds him tighter.

[sociallyanxiouscryptid-writings]

Destined

Story: Hero has a secret eating him alive, a timer over his head, the weight of the world on his shoulders and no one to help him bear it. Except maybe Villain?

Sorry for anyone waiting for continuations. I’ve said this to a couple of people already, but the continuations are definitely happening, I am currently working on them, I just have  lot of other ideas too. Including this one. So I hope you enjoy.

CW: Suicidal ideation (kind of, character isn’t actually suicidal but it seems like it so putting this here just in case), talk of death, existential things, swearing

~

A dark expanse stretched out before Hero, the very edge of it lapping at his feet. He stood inches from the drop, the void consuming his vision. If he defocussed his eyes enough, he could imagine he was just floating in the nothingness, lifted from the world.

Waves crashed violently against the base of the cliff beneath him, the sound twisting with the cold, rushing wind, filling Hero with the smell of salt and insignificance. He was nothing here, just a single step away from death itself. He was a spec against nature, a fleeting moment in her never-ending life.  

The darkness crept up behind him, wrapped its cold arms around his shoulder, ready to absorb him into nothingness. Hero could feel himself relax, the cool embrace melting away the tension seizing his body. For a moment he could just be him. For a moment the weight of the world was lifted off of his shoulders.  

“I hope you aren’t thinking of jumping.”

Hero saw the light before he heard the voice, but he made no move to acknowledge either until Villain stood right beside him. Villain leaned his body forward, feet planted further back then Hero as he peered down the edge. He tried aiming the flashlight into the abyss, a futile act. His face creased in discomfort.

“I’m not going to jump,” Hero said quietly.

Villain glanced at him. “Well, that’s good, this city would be infinitely more boring without you in it.”

Hero said nothing to that. Villain stepped back from the edge, still standing slightly behind Hero.

“So, if not to jump what are you doing teetering on the edge of a cliff?”

The light chased the darkness away and Hero could feel himself tensing again. He took in a breath, heart fluttering, begging that fleeting moment of peace to return.

“Just admiring the view,” Hero shrugged.

“Huh, didn’t take you as a stargazer,” Villain said, “though I think you need to be looking a little more up to see them.”

Hero continued staring out at the dark ocean. There was no moon out tonight, and while the stars were bright and dazzling, they only did so much to illuminate the space before them. It was the perfect combination, the perfect way to feel human.

“There are other things to admire here too,” Hero said.

Hero felt Villain’s eyes on him. It was doubtful he could see much in the dimness, but here, now, Hero knew he could see enough. Hero always tried to act so blasé, so charming that here his rigid posture, his shaking hands were obvious to Villain. All confidence gone, hope slowly going with it.  

“Is something wrong?” Villain asked.

Hero took in another breath and looked up. The stars were almost as good as the darkness. They were bright and beautiful, but they were also so big, so old. Nothing helped make him feel small quite like the open expanse of the universe, the giant glowing gods staring down at him. How could he possibly impact the world when things like that existed? But the light was too nice, the stars too wonderful. He didn’t deserve it, not someone like him.

Hero looked back at the cliff edge.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Villain scoffed and the sound almost pulled Hero’s attention away. It was such a familiar sound, a comforting sound. A sound that somehow made him feel just as human, and at the same time filled him with so much dread.

“Honey,” Villain chuckled, teased, “you look like someone kicked your puppy and spat in your cereal. I know we have our issues, but I like to think that we can at least be honest with each other.”

Hero found a rock under his shoes and rolled it against the ground. Villain wasn’t wrong. Despite their opposing sides they both had a unique position.  In a world of ambiguity and grey morals neither side was perfect, neither side was one hundred percent right and they both believed that. So on many occasions the pair found themselves supporting each other, aiding in missions or the occasional moral dilemma. Villain had told Hero many things, Hero had told Villain some, and neither had ever felt the need to share with their comrades.

Somethings you just couldn’t tell your friends, or your family. Hero couldn’t talk to his boss or his mentors or even the oracles. But maybe he could talk to Villain.

Hero kicked the rock off the cliff, and it disappeared in silence.

“Have you heard of the Oracles’ prophecies?” Hero looked up at Villain, their eyes met. Hero’s heart clenched and he looked back out over the ocean.

“Of course.” Villain said, following Hero’s gaze. “We have an Oracle on our side too, very helpful.”

Hero did not know that. Not that it mattered.

“Have they ever been wrong?”

Villain shrugged, “so far no, we’ve avoided many attacks because of them.”

Hero cringed, “yeah, ours are too. Makes you wonder how any end will come of this if both sides know what’s going to happen.”

“Yeah, well, that might not matter if the world really does end.”

All moisture evaporated from Hero’s mouth and the air turned thin. He sucked in a long breath through his nose, but it still wasn’t enough, and he could feel his legs beginning to shake. Hero sat down, rocks poking through his clothes as he eased onto the cold damp ground.

Villain glanced down at him, brows knitted in concern.

“What does your Oracle know about that?” Hero asked, breathless. He tried to regain control but the more he thought the further down the spiral he spun, and the void offered no comfort now. Not with Villain’s warmth there, his light.

If Villain thought Hero looked off before something was very wrong now. Had Villain simply never seen Hero with their guard down? Was Hero always masking in front of him?

Villain sat beside him.

“Only the basics,” he said. “That its going to happen and its going to devastate the world. Some force or something, maybe a person, maybe an event, he isn’t entirely sure. Oracles aren’t omnipotent, he can’t get all the information without access to certain things. But you probably know that.”

Hero nodded.

Villain kept looking for a read but only found languages he couldn’t understand.

“Do your Oracles know more?” Villain asked.

Hero brought their knees to the chest and hugged them. He said nothing, wasn’t sure he could. His tongue had turned to sandpaper now, and he felt uncomfortably hot against the cold air.

“Hero you’re really worrying me here.” Villain turned so he was facing Hero a little better, eyes pleading. “Talk to me, please.”

Hero tried to calm their heart with a deep breath, but it made the whole sensation worse, and he buried his head against his knees. He wanted to sink into nothingness, disappear from existence entirely.

An arm wrapped around his shoulders and Villain shifted closer. Hero wanted to pull away, wanted to tell him not to get too close or else he might get hurt, but couldn’t find the energy. Besides if anyone could survive Hero, it was Villain.

“Our Oracles know exactly what’s going to happen,” Hero said, the words barely a whisper. “They don’t know when… or where I guess… But they know who.”

“They know who?”

Hero nodded.

“They’ve known for years now actually. Not everyone knows though, in fact very few people know. They think if too many people find out, then their attempts to prevent it will trigger the event faster, which I agree. But of course, they don’t have any advice on how to prevent it.” Hero’s voice had picked up the more he spoke, the worlds now falling uncontrollable out of his mouth, mind an absolute blur.

Villain could barely keep up.

“Hero, I’m only partially on board with what you’re saying.”

Hero swallowed, as best he could. He and Villain had been friends for a while, had it been before or after? He couldn’t remember. Time was muddled in his mind, but it didn’t really matter anymore. Villain had been there for him more than some heroes had, and out of everyone a villain would be the last person to judge him, right? But then again, what really makes a villain? The only difference between Hero and Villain was that Hero was government sanctioned. Did that really make him better then Villain?

“Hero,” Villain said softly. So softly, Hero didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to have friends like this.

“I’m the one who is going to destroy the world,” he blurted out.

Hero regretted the words immediately. Silence fell heavily around them, and Hero’s ears rung against it. The wind whipped wildly around him and a small sprig of hope formed that maybe it had whisked the words away before Villain could hear them. But Hero watched as the words processed in Villains mind, Shock spreading across his features.

“I… what?”

Hero rested his chin on his knees. The door was open now, and he just kept talking.

“They told me a few years ago. I didn’t believe them for a long time, why would I? It’s ridiculous, why would I ever destroy the world? It doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t,” Villain agreed.

Hero looked up. Villain’s expression was a mosaic of emotion, and he could watch each little flicker of them pass by. Villain had assumed it would be someone on his side, or perhaps some of the more corrupt higher ups on Hero’s side, someone with power and megalomaniac tendencies. But Hero?

The flicker of disbelief was at least some sort of comfort. Hero settled his head back down.

“And the Oracles never have the answers to the important question,” Hero continued. “They can’t tell me why, or how. They can’t tell me what I can do to stop it. Should I be trying to avoid it? Do everything I can to prevent it or is that exactly what is needed to start it? Does the prophecy require me to know about it? Should I just sit around and do nothing? They have no idea. It’s not their job to change the future, they say, just observe it. It’s bullshit.”

Villain watched as Hero became more agitated, their voice shaking, hands jutting out in irritated gestures.

“And your Oracle’s haven’t told anyone?”

Hero scoffed, sniffed. “Can you imagine what the hero organisation would do if they knew I was the one meant to destroy things? They would try and kill me or lock me up or something. The Oracles are worried that something like that could trigger the end much faster. Make me bitter or something. Again, they don’t fucking know.” A tear fell and he wiped it away.

“Recently I’ve been feeling my powers growing,” Hero said. “I mean they always have been, but lately its been… things have been hard.” He gestured over the cliff. “Coming out here helps. It calms me, makes me feel human.”

“Do you not always feel human?”

Hero hugged himself a little tighter. Villain tightened his grip too.

“Not always.” He said. “Sometimes… I don’t even know how to explain it. I try not to think about it, I just try and focus on being good, helping people as much as I can in this fucked up place.”

Villain said nothing to that.

Hero tried to watch him out of the corner of his eyes, tried to gauge his reaction but there wasn’t much to see. His stomach twisted, dread worming its way in as the silence continued. Had he made a mistake? Was Villain not as understanding as he’d hoped? He wouldn’t blame him. Wouldn’t blame him if he ran away or turned him in. Or even tried to kill him. He wouldn’t succeed, unfortunately, but Hero wouldn’t blame him for trying.

“Well,” Villain finally said, “that’s definitely a lot.”

Hero tentatively looked to him, heart skipping a beat. There was not a single shred of fear in Villain’s eyes. No anger, no panic, nothing. Well, not nothing, there was caring, friendship, if such a thing could be reflected that way.

“You’re not… You won’t…” Hero couldn’t find the words.

“I will admit it’s a bigger package then I had expected to find, I thought you were going to tell me someone had died or something,” Villain shrugged, “but we’ll figure this out.”

Hero frowned. “We will?”

Villain smiled, a much to casual thing for the storm inside of Hero. “Hey, I still owe you for helping me with Bad Villain, and that dinner you paid for. Fair’s fair.”

Hero just stared. “I feel like those two things aren’t really comparable to this,” he said.

Villain rubbed Hero’s arm.

“Hero, after everything we’ve been through, I’d like to think we are friends. Yes, we are on different sides, and we have different views on how to fix this horrid place, but I’m not going to just abandon you. Besides, I still need to convince you that my way is better,” Villain smiled.

Hero tried a chuckle, wiping at his cheeks, “I think you mean I need to convince you that my way is better.”

“See? How can I leave you stranded when we still need to settle this score?”

Hero rested his head on Villains shoulder.

“Ok, we’ll figure this out then,” Hero said.

“I promise,” Villain said.

They both stared out at the stars.

~

Hope you enjoyed it. I feel like the ending was kinda eh, but also couldn’t come up with a better one and I’m trying to not over think these things.

My ideas are usually always bigger then just one piece so if you want to be added to the taglists on the chance that this gets continued just let me know. 

[styx1an]

A Chat about Chat

A short fic about how Chat came to be a singular being, written by yours truly. By all means, this isn’t canon, it’s just my interpretation of things.

Word count: 1,863

Fandom: RTGame, Miitopia (NGL I’m a little displeased with how I wrote the ending, but oh well!)

You know, there is this odd sense of irony in knowing how terrified Chat was of Magical John when they aren’t even human nor a singular being in the first place. Wait, so you didn’t know? Of how they became such a being in the first place? (They chuckle.) Then I suppose that means I’ll have to tell you their story. Well then, shall we begin the tale of Chat? (You see the twinkle in their eyes. They must’ve been waiting a while to be able to do this.)

> You nod. You’ve been waiting a while to understand Chat’s origins. Tonight, like many others, belongs to the storyteller.

> You shake your head. No thanks, you think you’re too tired. Dawn shall rise anew soon, and you will not waste your time with tall tales.

(They nod, pleased with your decision.) Then I shall begin to relay their tale.

Our tale begins in the vast lands known as Twitch, a domain that belongs to another, a far crueler being whose tale is for another time. It is a place where one is free to express their opinions and whatnot (as long as it suits the many whims of its Amazonian overlords, of course), and many are versed in the easy to learn, but difficult to master art of gaming. Many such masters have gained a large following, and even if they do not possess such skill, more often than not their humor and charisma paves the way to fame.

One example of the latter would be RTGame, a man of sizable repute. Aside from the frankly ridiculous story of the origin of his moniker, he is also known for doing some… questionable things for the sake of entertainment. There are still tales of his quest in the bathtub along with Gilbert (yes, the very same Gilbert on the quest to defeat The Darker Lord Khadgar!), the night of the Painted Wall’s Communion, the birth of Mr. Compost- But my dear, we are here for one of his lesser-known exploits, one that would change the world as we know it.

> You lean closer to the campfire, watching the storyteller with a renewed interest. Where does the tale lead? Where does it end? You need to know.

> It’s getting even later. You think some rest will be needed before tomorrow’s travels begin. Perhaps the rest of the story can wait another time?

It was a dark and stormy night. The then-Dark Lord Von Karma had just been unleashed upon the land, and I Want Die set along the path of salvation with his fellow party members, Mr. Bean the Warrior, Goofy the Thief, and Mint the Horse. He was pleased with the ease with which they vanquished monsters and saved (literal) faces, but the lack of actual conversation within the party had begun to get to him. Mr. Bean had nothing to offer other than a simple “Bean!” every now and then, and Goofy terrified him with all the “hyuck!” and talks of absolving the world’s many sins. Mint is a horse and therefore cannot participate in a verbal conversation unless you happen to understand what her neighs meant. She also happens to be the most normal member of the party, strangely enough.

Either way, I Want Die longed for a proper conversation.

And God took notice.

It was inevitable. The fourth party member was always going to join, whether he wanted one or not. It shouldn’t be notable in any way whatsoever, yet here I am regaling this tale to you.

It is not how Chat had come to join the party that I wanted to explain, but rather how they came to be.

Do you remember the man I had called RTGame? I hope you had not thought of him as irrelevant to our tale, as he is the patron saint of I Want Die’s adventures. Surely you know of the vast armory that belongs to the party? The various delicacies fed to the team? All his work. Along with his followers’ contributions, of course.

Chat was what he called his followers, the ones who watched his various endeavors as he traveled across the land of Twitch. Oftentimes the crowd would conversate with him (hence their name), offering jokes and sardonic commentary whenever he did anything remotely comedic. Other times, RT would have to tell them off for being such a rowdy bunch- the usual group of thousands could never keep quiet for long.

It happened that Chat witnessed I Want Die’s pilgrimage along with RTGame. They all looked upon him with a jolly sense of humor (after all, their master is well-versed in the art of comedy), some wondering where his travels will bring him. The others who knew how it would all end kept silent at the behest of RTGame. Either way, every single one of them was enjoying the show he had put on for them. 

And came the time to summon the fourth member.

As per usual, RTGame withdrew into his workshop, closing the curtains around him so no curious onlooker could see inside. But that did not stop Chat from yelling their predictions and demands.

“EDGEWORTH” one cried.

Another begged for a certain “End Mii!”

“CHAT CALM DOWN!”

“!uptime”

“69420toesucker just subscribed for 5 months!”

“TURG”

RTGame smiled at them. He wasn’t surprised at all at their reactions, rather it was something he had hoped would happen.

“Alright then Chat,” he said, “here they are!”

His pale, thin hands reached out to open the curtains-

And unveiled a faceless, empty husk of a being. 

Under any other circumstances, Chat would’ve rioted, demanded justice against the irony of sending a faceless doll to retrieve the faces of others. But they had no time.

Almost in an instant, the skies darkened. Clouds swirled up above with vibrant shades of violet, cobalt, magenta. Bright blue lightning strikes a tree and dissolves it into dust. Somewhere distant, something roars. The air feels thick- something magical, something electric is positively buzzing. Magic truly is in the air.

And thunder strikes once again. 

The crowd is gone.

Silence fell. All that is left is the master and the doll, no longer an empty husk.

> You look up to the storyteller, their eyes reflecting the blazing flames. You have a feeling that you know how this ends, but you’d rather have them confirm it first.

> You’re sleepy. As tempting as it is to continue listening to their story, you must admit that the very idea of slumber is even more tantalizing.

RTGame had managed to do exactly what he wanted. Chat’s consciousness, placed inside of a single, physical being. A puppet controlled by a hivemind would not be very easy to control, yes. But the idea intrigued him. And wouldn’t it be better than having a large gaggle of people constantly behind him, watching his every move? It could help I Want Die on his journey too.

So it is settled. It happened that one of the members of his temple had just crafted a rather nice puppet, in case RT needed one. And he did come to use it. It does look a little plain, as both body and head are painted in the same shade of bright white. However, the face was not white like how it was in the beginning, but a disturbingly pitch-black space. No, that’s not the right word.

Rather, it was like a void had formed. That’s also not the right phrase to describe it either, as there were drops of ichor dripping down onto the ground, dissolving the once green grass. But I digress. 

Chat broke the silence that had fallen between them, wailing as a cacophony of noises and emotions spilled out. Despite what RT had done to them, they were still determined to voice their opinions. Quite in character, really. 

“RT WHAT”

“NO NO NO”

“!uptime”

“I'M ON TV!!!”

“bazingabanana just gifted 5 subs!”

“that’s kinda meta”

As their voices grew louder, ichor kept pouring out of the void. As expected, RT thought to himself. He still needs to act fast. So with a quick snap, he fastened a wooden mask the temple-goer made; the same shade of white, a pair of beady black eyes almost as dark and soulless as the void, bright purple ears. 

The yelling and complaining didn’t stop of course. Still, as their voices were muffled by the mask, it was an arguably better experience than the previous ear-splitting wails. And it was less deadly too. Ichor had stopped dripping down onto the grass, which meant that the constant sizzling would finally stop.

Now, one last thing.

RT stared into Chat’s eyes.

This in itself wouldn’t have been quite a remarkable action had it been anyone else, but it’s Chat that we are talking about. The very sensation of doing something as simple as gazing into a hivemind’s many souls wasn’t anything ordinary, either.

It felt like you had just plunged one of your hands into ice-cold water in the middle of winter and not only are you freezing, you’re scared and you don’t know whether you’d come out in one piece.

They all stared back. Thousands and thousands looked upon RT, all different yet whispering the same things, each claiming to be an individual yet virtually nothing distinctive belongs to them. A true hivemind. It’s exactly what he wanted, but he wondered if perhaps other troubles would arise.

He let himself go from their gazes. It asks too much of him.

“Alright then, Chat. Ready?”

A gaggle of voices reply, sounding their agreements.

“OK then!”

--

I Want Die finally opened the inn door, after convincing himself that he’d like this new friend. That this one would be neither an anime villain, a comedy star or a horse. Someone with actual rational thoughts and words to speak.

In front of the door stood a short figure, clad in a purple mage’s robes. Their pitch-black eyes looked at I Want Die, and a chorus of voices came from their permanent smile:

“Hi, I’m Chat!”

And I Want Die wondered if he had forgotten to cross off ‘hivemind’ off his list of potential party members.

Chat’s introduction ends here, of course. But not their tale. The journey was far from over in fact. The party had yet to meet the Royal Court, witnessed the court’s love affair, or get kidnapped by the Dark Lord Von Karma. Even the party wasn’t complete, as it was only the first party I Want Die would encounter in his tale of redemption.

And it’s not the only story either. You haven’t heard of Magical John’s past life, or how Cupcake isn’t as pure as she seems. Gilbert’s fear of the kitchen. How Jefferson came to be, and Obama’s past life with Mr. Bean.

But I’m afraid I must stop here, for it is late already, is it not? Our journey must continue tomorrow. Let us rest. Goodnight, may the stars shine for you. (They head off into their tent, leaving you alone with the flickering embers of a dying fire.)

> You bid the storyteller goodnight. Perhaps they’ll tell you another one of their stories, underneath the moonlight once more.

[caramelcal]

His Favorite Secret.

“I’m tired of being your secret.”

You can find the rest of the prompts here.

i really took this and ran with it huh...IT’S 4.3K WORDS

warnings: mentions of sex, gangs, alcohol, bondage

kinda obsessed with this gang!luke idea. also, i’m not sure if i wanna make “bambi” the reader or an oc, it works as either i believe? bambi is a nickname btw and i honestly feel like making more parts based on this concept tbh 

kinda wanna make another part LMAO idk what i’d do it on though </3

Luke was better to her than anything you could possibly expect. He was surprisingly gentle when it came to her, hugging and caressing her that seemed impossible for the way he was and the life he lived. People saw Luke as the 6-foot-odd man that could rip you apart without an issue, without even breaking a sweat but he was so much more than that.

He was so much more than the leather jacket-wearing gangster that everyone depicted him as; heartless and stoic. He was a great lover if he let people in, and she had never been loved that way with anyone before. Surely though, with his life, there were complications to their relationship.

He was different from other people, more violent, more dangerous. The gang, which was run by Luke and three of his closest friends, Calum, Ashton and Michael, was well-known and feared among many, but they were left alone by the police. The police were aware that they existed, but they didn’t do anything about it. There were more cons to arresting them than there were pros.

Luke’s life made everything very interesting. He was rich, of course, and after a while of them dating she had moved into his condo. It was massive, bigger than any house she had ever lived in before and it was just for the two of them. It was a luxurious life that she had not experienced before, and she was still getting used to it.

If there was one thing about Luke that she had learned, it was that buying her things was his love language. He never had been great at the romantic side of their relationship considering he hadn’t had a girlfriend in a long time and normally just had one-night stands, but he tried his best. That didn’t meant that he ever softened up during sex, though. 

Another thing about his life that made stuff interesting was that Luke had to drop things for work. Sometimes stuff would go wrong on a run, or other gangs would try stuff with them and he would have to leave. It was understandable, but still frustrating for her, especially the one time where an emergency had occurred right in the middle of them having sex.

Luke had been very busy the past few weeks, having to deal with numerous issues with the gang and barely having enough time to spend with the needy girl who craved his attention. There had been issues in the club, that was what he had said, but he didn’t go into much detail on the matter, he never did. He liked to keep his relationship and gang life very separate from one another. 

A lot of the mornings this week she had woke up alone, void of the warmth she liked to cuddle into in the morning. At least she was getting him all to herself this weekend, she thought. After barely spending anytime with her that weekend, Luke had promised they would spend the weekend together, even if the club was set on fire. Calum, Ash and Mike will deal with it. 

“Bambi?” The nickname fell from his lips when he stepped in the front door. She brought her eyes up to look at him, happiness filling her features. She hadn’t been expecting him home for another few hours, but she definitely wasn’t complaining.

Running over to him, she jumped, knowing full well that he would catch her as her arms wrapped around his neck. Her head snaked into the nape of his neck, comfortingly taking in the scent of her favorite person, his arms holding her protectively close to his body. They were alone, thankfully enough. After all, she really hadn’t thought out her jumping hug because her short skirt had ridden up, showing off her underwear which Luke most definitely would be furious if anyone but him saw.

“Welcome home,” She whispered into his neck, hand coming up to play with the hair on the back of his neck. Her eyes fluttered, eyelashes tickling the skin on Luke’s neck as he rubbed her back, taking in the comfort of having the smaller girl in his arms.

He walked forward so that he was fully in the house, using his leg to kick the door shut behind him before walking towards the middle of the room near the couch. He slowly lowered himself until he was sitting down on the plush cushions, the girl now in his lap, still being held closely.

“Bambi?” Luke started, making sure that the girl was listening, to which she hummed into the side of his neck, not willing to move just yet, “I know you wanna hug and kiss and stuff right now but we don’t have much time to pack your bags, you have to stay at the safe house for a few days.”

Almost immediately, the warmth of her face was gone from his neck, and her hands were no longer playing with his hair. She was still held tightly on his lap, mostly because he held her there with a semi-firm grip, her looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows and sad eyes.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. In fact, it had happened quite a few times and each time it made her rather frustrated. She had to remove every single piece of evidence that she even existed in the apartment, and get hidden away in a safe house for the entire weekend, on the edge of town, where she wasn’t allowed to leave until Luke got her himself.

She hated the safe house.

“But you said-”

“Bambi,” Luke cut her off rather firmly, sending her a look which she knew meant that there were no arguments in this. She almost wanted to whine, to argue with Luke and tell him that he said this was going to be their weekend together, just them, no gang stuff, but now she wasn’t even going to get to see him at all this weekend, “I need to have a few low levels over to go over plans, and they’ll be over tomorrow which means we can’t let them know you’re here or that you exist. They still can’t fully be trusted yet, which means that they could be moles and I’m not putting you at risk for that.”

His speech was ended in a soft tone, looking down at her with a small amount of sadness for the girl. His hand comfortingly raked through her hair, piercing blue eyes looking at her but her eyes stay looking down. Slowly, without saying anything, she climbed off of his lap and started to retreat to their bedroom.

“Bambi? Where you goin, baby?” He called out, looking at the girl who stopped in her tracks, looking over her shoulder.

“I’m packing. That’s what you wanted me to do, was it not?”      

Not many words were exchanged afterward with the girl silently packing away every aspect of her life into two duffle bags. She wasn’t even allowed to properly live in her own house, no decorations, photos in frames, nothing. Everything she owned had to be easily removable so it looked like she didn’t even exist in her own home.

Luke watched her from the bedroom door, leaning against the frame coolly as he analyzed her movements. He knew she was frustrated, but she had to know he was doing this to protect her, she should have anyway. Rather harshly, she finally zipped up the duffle bags, throwing them over her shoulder and walking straight past Luke without acknowledging him.

He understood that she was frustrated, but was she really angry at him?

She was quickly at the door, grasping at the handle when Luke had snapped out of his thoughts, walking over to her quickly with ease, taking a grip on her arm.

“You okay?”

“Dandy,” She replied bluntly, looking away from the slightly concerned man, almost as if she was itching to get away from him. Normally, even if she wasn’t happy about being sent away to the safe house, she still gave him a goodbye kiss, but it appeared that he wasn’t going to get one of those tonight, “Gotta go. Wouldn’t want to keep Jacob waiting, would we?”

She walked out of the apartment without another word, but Luke’s eyes were on her retreating figure, “We’ll speak about this on Sunday, okay baby?”

He barely even seen the nod that she sent him before she disappeared down the hallway.

. . . “Please, Jacob,” She pleaded with the driver, with puppy eyes and everything but he tried his best to remain stony-faced. Jacob was the only driver that Luke trusted Bambi with, he had grown up with the boys too, childhood friends with Michael apparently, who Bambi had never even met before.

Jacob was the leading driver for the gang, one of the getaway drivers for bigger and more important heists or events, but normally he just got called in for private transport of any important members of the gang. He, as well as practically anyone who had ever met the girl, had a soft spot for her, and she knew that.

“You do realize if I take you there that I am directly disobeying orders of the leader of one of the biggest gangs in California?” He asked ridiculously, shaking his head with his hands placed firmly on the wheel.

“Jacob-”

“No,” He replied firmly, looking at the girl through the rearview mirror, seeing her begging eyes and sad face.

The man knew that everything was frustrating for the girl, especially when she had to get up and move out of her own house just so that Luke could host meetings and debriefings for the gang.

“Please, Jacob. I’m going to be cooped up in a safe house for three days without talking to anyone, at least let me go to Anna’s for a few hours. She’s been my best friend since I was three, she’s trustworthy.”

The black-haired man didn’t reply for several moments, and a frown fell onto the girl’s face before he started to signal off the highway. It was a familiar road, the one that she had taken many times before to her best friend’s house, and honestly, she had never been happier to see it. At least she would get some enjoyment this weekend.

“Thank you so much, Jacob, just tell me how I can repay you,” The girl said once she was out of the car, bouncing lightly in excitement while she stared at the man who was still inside the car.

He gave her a small smile, one that showed he knew how much appreciation she felt towards him before his eyes turned to the door behind her, “Just enjoy yourself and make sure he doesn��t fire me for this.”

“Consider it done.”

It was nice to see Anna again, it had been two weeks since their last meet up and they had both missed each other greatly. Anna was drinking alcohol, but the smaller girl wasn’t. It wasn’t like she was afraid of what Luke would say if she did, because she certainly wasn’t afraid of Luke, but even though she was angry she didn’t want to disappoint him.

Not that she had exactly abided by his rules anyway, considering she was with Anna right now instead of locked inside the safe house. The safe house had slowly become the girl’s own personal prison, it was bare, bland, and had nothing for her to entertain herself, and there was no company. That’s what she hated most about it, the lack of social interactions she could have while she was in there.

“-we were talking about the weather and shit right? Then he asked to see my tits! I was like are you being serious right now?” Anna rambled on, talking about another failed love interest that had been using her for her body. Anna never seemed to be lucky in the dating apartment of life, but she was a successful girl, and a beautiful one at that, she would get there. 

“Was he?”

Anna scoffed, taking another drink of her alcohol, “Yeah! He blocked me after I sent him pictures of minecraft chests and asked him what ones were his favourite.”

The smaller girl let out a laugh, looking at her best friend who had a sly grin on her face, trying to hide it with the glass in her hands. 

“Speaking of guys though, how’s Mr. Hemmings then?” Anna jokingly asked the girl, cocking an eyebrow with a smirk on her face, swaying to the music that was loudly playing in the background.

“He’s good, I mean he’s doing good,” The smaller girl quickly corrected herself before her dirty-minded friend could make a joke about their sex life or ask about it. Anna hummed lightly, still smug and still swaying to the music, “I was supposed to be going to the safe house, but I’m here instead, I don’t think he’s very happy.”

“Girl, you’ve been here for nearly two hours!” Anna cried out in shock, eyes wide at the clear defiance that the small girl had for her 6-foot-odd gang leader boyfriend.

“And?”

“He’s bound to know by now! He’s not going to bust through my doors with his gang and shoot the place down is he?”

The girl shrugged lazily in reply, letting some of her hair fall in front of her face as she smiled at her friend, “Yeah he does know, he’s been blowing up my phone for an hour and a half.”

Anna fell dramatically against the back of the couch, hand still tight around her glass of lemonade and pink gin. Her free hand was laying across her forehead with her eyes shut, “Oh please tell me you’ve replied.”

“Nope.”

“Oh come on, I really like my door, believe it or not, I don’t want him or any of his gang members kicking it down!” Anna cried out, giving her best friend a pout to which she just laughed lightly in response.

“He won’t knock your door down, he probably won’t even come. He’s too busy debriefing his gang to even spend time with me and instead shipped me out of the house. Why does he care whether it’s yours or the safe house?”

However, she couldn’t have been more wrong because less than ten minutes later they heard a roaring engine speeding down the road. Anna, who shared a quick look with the smaller girl, got up and looked out the window, seeing no other than Luke gets out of his very expensive sports car and towards the house, “Guess you were wrong.”

He threw the door open, thankfully not breaking it down, his eyes quickly landing on the small girl, grabbing her and pulling her off of the couch, planting her by his side. His grip was tight on either side of her hips, almost as if it was a warning to stay by his side and cooperate for once in her life.

“Anna,” His accented voice wrung through the room as he gave the blonde a curt nod. She waved back awkwardly, maybe too hazed by the alcohol in her system to stay anything intelligible back, and Luke seemed to realize this, “don’t stay up too late, get a good sleep, okay?”

“Aye captain, yes sir,” She saluted him back with a smile on her lips, almost diffusing the tension in the room but it was barely a second later where Luke’s grip retightened on his girlfriend’s hips.

“Okay, good night.” He bid her farewell, walking out of the house with his slightly anxious girlfriend behind him. It seemed as if suddenly she was filled with regret and guilt, especially after seeing how angry Luke was with her.

“It isn’t Jacob’s fault I-” She started when the door shut behind them, the cold wind of the night surrounding her.

“Don’t,” He spoke gruffly, turning around to look down at her with angry blue eyes before grabbing onto her wrist and dragging her over to his car.

Luke hadn’t even locked his car when he had rushed inside to Anna’s house, not that he would be too bothered anyway, it wasn’t like anyone was going to steal the gang leader’s car, especially not in this neighborhood. He didn’t speak another word to the girl as he took her around to her side of the car, letting her get in before he leaned over and strapped her in, closing the door without a single word and getting in his own side.

He started the car up and the only noise heard in the car was the engine as it roared to life and they began to speed down the street. His blond hair was messy, jaw ticking with his eyes glued to the road, never once straying to the girl in the passenger’s seat. Her eyes, however, never strayed from him, picking up every sign that he was furious with her. His posture was rigid, he was impatient, breathing loudly and not even acknowledging her existence beside her; he was seething.

She wasn’t sure if they arrived too fast or too slow to the safe house honestly. Luke still didn’t utter a word, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind him. She knew not to move already, she knew that Luke didn’t want her to move and honestly she didn’t want to aggravate him further.

True to her belief, Luke opened her car door, undoing her seatbelt before pulling her out of the car. His eyes didn’t stay on her as he stormed into the house, a tight grip on the smaller girl’s wrist. She tried to get his attention, for him to say anything to her as he entered the house but it appeared he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

The main room was still dark, but just the feeling of being in here makes her feel sick. She wasn’t overexaggerating when she said how much she hated the safe house. It felt as if she was defeated, back where she didn’t want to be, somewhere she hated, and with her boyfriend furious at her.

In the time that she had been thinking of how much she loathed the building she stood in, Luke had let go of her wrist and wordlessly made his way towards the front door again. The thought of him leaving her here, frustrated and alone all weekend made annoyance bubble in her stomach and before she can help herself she’s shouting over at him, “So that’s it? Are you just going to lock me in here and leave again?”

Luke stilled, but he doesn’t bother to reply or even look at his girlfriend, just standing there like a statue. She can’t find it in herself to regret the words that come out of her mouth, especially after she awaits the nonexistent reply, causing annoyance to bluster in her stomach. Her eyes roll and her arms flail slightly before they slap against her thighs with a low scoff falling out of her lips, “Typical.”

“Excuse me?” Luke turned around, his voice hard and powerful, one that would normally make her shake, make her look up at him with wide eyes unsure of what to say. Their eyes meet, his blue piercing into hers. He took a step forward, tilting his head slightly with an eyebrow raised, almost as if he’s encouraging her to repeat what she had said moments before, “What did you say, Bambi?”

Her mouth was agape as she stuttered lightly, any feeling of bravery that she had mere seconds ago fizzling away into nothingness. Her eyes darted from one of his eyes to the other, looking at the expectant and slightly smug face as he looked at the stuttering girl in front of him. She tried her best to find the right words to say but she had, ultimately, been rendered speechless.

“Come on, if you’re so big and brave, baby, why don’t you speak up a little? Tell me what you said.” He walked towards her until he’s right in front of her, chests barely ten centimeters apart. Two of his fingers make their way under her chin, pushing her face up until she had no other choice but to look him in the eye, holding her face in such a way that she can’t move easily.

Silence filled the room once more, simply with the two of them staring at one another. Luke stared down at her with a slight smugness and with her looking up at him still frozen almost. When he does talk next, he muttered quietly, almost condescendingly with anger trailing in his voice, “You ruined an important meeting tonight all because you couldn’t follow a simple instruction-”

“Well, believe it or not, I don’t like to be locked up in a house for days on end like a caged animal,” She doesn’t even register that she’s speaking until she’s finished, the words flowing out of her mouth cutting off Luke’s lecture.

“This house is to keep you safe,” His grip on her jaw doesn’t loosen at this point in time, blue eyes swimming with rage. In all of their time together, he doesn’t remember his Bambi giving him this much attitude or a time where she’s tried to argue with him like this. Sure, there were times where they had disagreements or times where there had been a little bit of attitude but he had quickly sorted that out.

“I was safe at Anna’s and I was happy. Isn’t that what you want? For me to be happy?” Her voice is quiet, bottom lip threatening to quiver. She hated how she cried whenever she got frustrated, and right now she’s barely holding back from her eyes becoming glassy. She’s frustrated and annoyed, but she doesn’t want to look like a baby right now, especially when this was her first fight with Luke.

“Don’t try and guilt trip me now, Bambi. It isn’t going to work tonight.”

“I hate it here! I hate constantly having to move into this stupid fucking house where I have nothing to do and no one to talk to! It doesn’t even fucking have wifi or anything! It’s dumb and all because you’re paranoid!” After she finished shouting, she ripped her head out of his hold, standing back and away from him, back coming in contact with the marble counter of the kitchen island.

Her arms are crossed over her chest, and as Luke processed her words, he shook his head. His next words are low, like it’s a warning, “Don’t shout at me like that.”

“I’m not-”

“Listen here, doll, because I’m only going to tell you this once,” Luke doesn’t even let her finish before he’s talking. His voice is forceful and strong, something he normally reserved for when his men do something stupid like ruin a drug run, “You don’t call the shots here, I do. I’m in a gang and there are a lot of people that would put a bullet in your pretty little skull just to get to me,” He pressed a finger against her temple, hard enough for her to feel the pressure but not enough for it to hurt her, “People die in this lifestyle and I send you here so it doesn’t happen to you. Don’t tell me that I’m paranoid because I’m trying to keep you safe.”

“I get it, I do-”

“Then why won’t you just do what I say?”

“Because I’m tired of being your secret.” She whispered, looking up at Luke’s blue eyes sadly, tears gathering in her own eyes. His head dipped a little, shifting his weight onto his hands which are on either side of her, trapping her against the kitchen’s island counter.

It took Luke a few seconds to finally muster up words, and just from his tone she can tell that he’s disappointed, maybe in himself, maybe because of how she thought of their relationship, “You aren’t my-”

“Then why have I never met Cal? O-Or Mikey? Why is the only time I’ve ever met Ashton an accident? And why do you constantly send me away even if it’s only people you trust going to be there? And-”

“Bambi,” Luke groaned lightly but got cut off straight away when the girl continued to rant, barely even realizing that he had tried to cut her off.

“This was supposed to be our weekend and you just sent me away. I was so excited to finally get a whole weekend of you to myself but no, I was shipped off to this shithole again-”

“This was all because you just wanted me to yourself?” Luke asked incredulously, an eyebrow raised at the girl whose eyes snapped up to meet his.

“That’s what you want, Bambi? You got it.” Luke said, his eyes staying on hers, never wavering as he commanded. He pushed back, hands off the counter and now standing at his full height, towering over her with his eyes never leaving hers, “Hands out. Now.”

“Luke what-”

Her eyes frantically search his face, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. She can feel her heart rate pick up, beating loudly in her chest.

“No, Bambi. You’ve done plenty talking tonight. No talking unless I ask you a question, got it?”

She nodded her head, gulping down the thickness in her throat as a thick leather wrapped around her wrists, constricting them. Her mouth parted slightly, she hadn’t even seen or heard Luke take off his belt, but now she can’t even part her hands anymore.

His head dropped to her neck and she can feel her stomach flutter simply by his breath fanning over the skin on her neck. His hand made its way up to the nape of her neck, grabbing a handful of hair and yanking on it so her neck is fully exposed to him, “You’ve me all to yourself tonight, Bambi. And you’re all mine.”

[betelgeuse-1988]

pale blue eyes: obi-wan/reader

hey so i fell in love with ewan mcgregor recently and proceeded to watch all of the prequels and started the clone wars. how dangerous! probably more obi-wan content in the near future. sorry if this isn't canon compliant...i don't know enough about star wars and i'm so sorry!! give me tips if you have any

obi-wan is also probably totally ooc and i’ve definitely disregarded the jedi code (bc screw the code!) but...i don’t care...obi-wan is too beautiful for that lmao. if anyone can handle a little temptation from the darkside and still be a good jedi, it’s obi

tags: smut, fluff, light angst, hurt/comfort, grief/mourning (mention of death), master/padawan dynamic (sorta), possessive sex/behavior, rough sex, marking (hickies), smoking, implied age difference, porn with feelings (and maybe plot), dirty talk

There was something oh so terrifying about being a Padawan. Of course, it was all you had ever known, but realizing that there would be a day when no one would be there to hold your hand as you traversed the daily experiences of being a Jedi was overwhelmingly terrifying. But, what was even more terrifying was the thought alone of losing your Master.

Actually losing her before you’d finished your training could only be described as unquantifiable.

Obi-Wan broke the news to you soon after reporting to the council after the mission on some outer-rim planet went wrong and led to several Jedi being killed. He spared you the details as you broke down in front of him, apologizing immediately for letting your emotions get the best of you. You tried your best to keep everything in, especially in front of one of the best Jedi Masters. Obi-Wan looked down the hallway before slowly walking you back into your quarters. He sat you down on your small bed, taking a seat next to you.

“I know how you feel right now, as I too lost my Master. But, you must remember your Master has returned to the Force. She has become something better and will always be with you. It will be difficult, but as time passes the intensity of your emotions will fade.”

You looked up into his blue eyes, the truth behind them reinforcing what you sensed in the Force. His statements were genuine, facts that had been seen in countless other Jedi who had experienced what you did; but, his eyes (and the Force) held a sadness that seemed as if it was too big and too fragile to even consider touching. Having heard some pieces of what had happened to Master Kenobi and his Padawan, it seemed as if he never had enough time to grieve. He never had time to consider what loss meant and how to deal with it. The words he spoke seemed to be monotonous, as if they were a mantra he thought to himself often. An attempt to rid himself of emotions that council members told him that he would be drawn to the darkside because of them.

“And yet,” you said, pausing to control your breathing, a few tears escaping your eyes now and then. “Those emotions will never go away, huh?”

Obi-Wan broke your gaze, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m...I’m sorry, I’m not helping, am I?” He let out a sad chuckle before looking back at you. “It’s just...I know too well how you feel. And yet, I cannot bring myself to tell you that you must rid yourself of these emotions because they will lead you astray. I so wish that one person would have allowed me to feel, just for one moment.”

You take his hand into yours, unable to bring yourself to look him in the eyes. “You’ve helped me more than you know, Master Kenobi. And I only hope that you are able to take your own advice, too.”

“I will try, young one.”

After this moment, you found yourself drawn to Obi-Wan in the late hours of the night. Master Windu took over the last few weeks of your training before your trials. When you were not training or sleeping and Obi-Wan was not training his Padawan, you were together. This often caused you both to spend late nights in one of your quarters (most often his, as they were bigger). At first there was nothing sexual or even romantic about these meetings. They allowed you both to explore your grief and help each other control emotions most Jedi would consider distracting or unwanted. It was nice to feel safe in your emotions.

At least, until your emotions became romantic feelings for Obi-Wan.

This realization hit you like a podracer a few weeks after you became a Jedi. You had been given a mission to protect a queen from an outer-rim planet visiting Naboo for a week. The distance alone is not what caused you to realize these feelings. Obi-Wan and his Padawan had been sent on small missions in the past few weeks, causing you to go days without seeing him. Sure, you missed him, but training for your trials could fill the void he left. But, now, being away and nearly bored out of your mind in your down time was horrible. You felt a constant sense of longing and desire that you could only trace back to Master Kenobi. Your thoughts would drift back to late nights you spent with the sweet man who could comfort you with only a smile. Thoughts of running your hands through his auburn hair as you begged him to keep growing it out, especially with the beard. Watching his eyes flutter closed as you gave him a massage through his undershirt. He lets out little groans and moans, telling you to push harder in certain spots. Holding his large, calloused hand in yours as you cuddle close together on his bed. It wasn’t until the final day of your assignment that these thoughts turned sexual.

You laid in bed, too excited over going back to Coruscant and having a few days off. A half-dreaming vision formed in your mind of Obi-Wan laying in his bed. The image became clearer and you realized that his sleeping pants were pushed down slightly, his hand grasping his cock tightly. A moan slipped past his lips, the words he choked out indecipherable as he thrusted harshly into his fist. You attempt to will away this vision but it’s stuck--almost engraved--in your mind, drifting in and out like a boat rocking back and forth on waves. His thrusts seemed desperate, as if he had been attempting to reach his climax long before you created this vision. He moans again, this time it is clearer and louder than before: your name. It slips past his lips smoothly as he finally tenses slightly, forcing his hips upwards. Cum shot out of his cock as his thrusts stuttered to a stop and his hand took over. Some particularly thick shots hit his lower stomach, covering the hair above his cock. The rest flooded slowly over the tip and down onto his hand. He groaned all through his climax, panting once he had finished completely. Your mind often drifted back to these images as you fell in and out of sleep throughout the night.

Getting back to Coruscant was a welcome return home. After your report to the council, you saw Obi-Wan and Anakin waiting for you outside of the chambers. You found it difficult, at first, to hold Obi-Wan’s gaze as he greeted you.

“Hello, Master Kenobi. What are you doing here?”

“I heard you got back. If you’d like, Anakin and I would like to take you to Dex’s,” he says simply, a wide smile on his face. Anakin gave you a toothy grin, excited to gorge himself on greasy diner food.”How was your mission, young one?”

You smiled widely, slightly forgetting about the waking-dream that had been plaguing your mind. “Sounds like a great idea. I can tell you all about my mission over dinner, then, I suppose?” Obi-Wan nodded in response, a smile (albeit smaller) on his face mirroring yours and Anakin’s.

After dinner at Dex’s, Obi-Wan dismissed Anakin to his chambers (though, Obi would confide in you that he knew for a fact his was talking to his fellow Padawans late into the night, to which you would chastise him for doing the same thing with you) and invited you to his own to meditate. The walk there was quiet, yet comfortable. But, as you reached his quarters, you saw the bed that was ingrained into your visions from the night before. The panic and embarrassment ran through you, piling heavy in your stomach and causing you to stop in your tracks at his doorway. Obi-Wan took off his boots quickly and made his way to the large window at the opposite side of the room.

“You can come all the way in, y’know?” Obi-Wan said once he realized you had not followed, his tone light and playful. He was teasing you, like he always did, always a flirt. And yet, tonight, it made you nervous. You took slow steps towards him after taking your boots off by the door, meeting him at the window he liked to meditate at. “Are you okay? No witty comeback for your favorite Jedi?” He moved to cup your face but you turned away, noticing it was the hand he had so elegantly wrapped around his cock in your vision.

You looked back at him and shook your head, your eyes becoming watery out of embarrassment and fear. You knew you needed to talk to him before this got any worse. “C-can I talk to you about something?” He nodded, his face becoming serious, and sat down on the plush cushions he used to begin meditating. He patted on one next to him and you sat after taking off your cloak. You two sat almost too close, knees touching. You could almost smell him and could almost feel the calming warmth radiating off of him. “I...During my missions I was plagued by visions, Master Kenobi.”

He frowned slightly at what you said, worried about the potential dangers of visions Jedi see. “You do not need to use my title in my quarters, young one,” he said, calmly, so as not to scare you or make you feel he was reprimanding you. “But you can tell me anything. What were in these visions, young one?”

You sighed, attempting to muster the strength in admitting what you saw. Obi-Wan could sense your struggle and reached out to touch your knee gently. You placed your hand over his and squeezed gently, closing your eyes to center yourself. The minute you opened your mouth, the word-vomit flowed fast. “They were of you. They began as nice and comforting. Domestic moments. Like holding your hand or cuddling. I could see myself doing that with any friend. But...last night, it was sexual. I, uhm, watched you...pleasure yourself. Y-you moaned my name. Maker, I feel like I’ve used you, I am so sorry, Master Kenobi.”

“This happened last night?” he asked, blushing slightly under your curious gaze. You nodded slowly, unsure of where he was going with this. “Then I don’t think you were making these visions up, darling.”

Your jaw dropped, with Obi-Wan only smirking back at you. “W-what do you mean?”

“I think you saw me, somehow. I saw some of those visions you described earlier in the week, too. Perhaps we are connected, young one.” He looked at you processing what he just said and smiled. “I like you, a lot. I admire your work as a Jedi and I am so proud to see how much you have grown since I first talked to you that night your master died.” He moved the hand that was resting in his lap to cup your cheek. “I believe I have fallen for you. I am sorry that you had to see me in such an inappropriate state, however. I would understand if you didn’t want to be with me.”

“No! I mean, I do. I want to be with you. I never imagined that you would ever want to be with someone like me.” You smiled brightly, giddy about this change in your relationship with Obi-Wan. “And, if I may say, you looked quite beautiful last night. I am honored that you thought of me just as I have thought of you. Although, you have a much different imagination than I do.” The man in front of you blushed and chuckled brightly, almost proud of what he had done.

The hand on your knee tentatively moved further up your thigh. “Perhaps I can spark your imagination?”

You shifted to be on your knees, placing your hands on his thighs. You leaned close to him, almost brushing your lips against his. You were able to feel the tickle of his beard on your face as you whispered out, “Perhaps I can fulfill yours?” You pressed your lips against his as he shoves his hands through your hair, tugging on it slightly. Even as he moaned, you tasted the strawberry milkshake you shared with him at Dex’s. But, as you kissed him deeper, tongues exploring each other’s mouths, you tasted tabac, causing your mind to wander. You never thought of Obi-Wan indulging in the toxic substance, but you can’t bring yourself to be surprised. Images of Obi-Wan shirtless, just-fucked and sweaty, his hair a mess, flooded your mind. A cigarra hung from his mouth, barely hanging on to it as he took puffs from it.

A nasty habit Obi’s voice rings through your mind, almost embarrassed, I can’t seem to kick it, young one. I hope you aren’t angry.

You pulled away and cupped his face. Not wanting to ruin the tender moment of vulnerability, you kissed him lightly and projected your thoughts to him, I could not be mad at you. I find it shamefully attractive, but if you are ready to quit, I know you can.

He smiled into the kiss as you pulled away to begin stripping. “Allow me to help you,” he said, moving to push your robes off your shoulders as you took off the belt around your waist. You shrugged the robes off of you completely and threw them to the side, followed by your undershirt. Obi-Wan moved to help you take your pants off, but you stopped him.

“Allow me to help you, Master Kenobi?” he blushed and leaned back, copying your actions by starting with his belt. You help to shrug off his outer robes followed by his undershirt. You admire his chest, speckled with freckles. You pushed him down lightly, his back hitting his carpeted floor lightly. “You are truly beautiful, Master.” You kissed his chest lightly, kneeling at his side and helping him to shove his pants and undergarments off. Even though you had seen his member the night before, it was different in person and being able to see it uncovered by his hand. Semi-hard, all you could think was that it would look even more beautiful in the moonlight and neon lights streaming from the window. You flicked your hand, flipping the light switch by the door.

“I was going to ask if you liked what you saw, young one, but it seems I was wrong,” Obi-Wan hummed.

You smirked, taking his cock in your hands. “Oh, I do, but I am one for aesthetics and I would prefer to be fucked under the moonlight.” You jerk him off slightly, getting him hard. As your movements become a tad more difficult, you hold your hand up to the man’s mouth. “Spit, please.” He looked at you with a raised brow but spits. You rubbed it up and down his cock, making your movements much smoother. You squeezed lightly around his cock and he began to thrust lightly under your touch. You moved to lean down and use your mouth on his cock, but Obi-Wan stopped you.

“Let me get you ready so I can fuck you under the moonlight, just like you want, my young one.”

He moved you down to lay on the floor, pushing one of his cushions underneath your head. After helping you out of your remaining clothes, he shoved the other pillow under your hips, angling them upwards. He then kissed down your chest, as if attempting to kiss away the moonlight with how fervently he pressed his lips to your skin. Yet, as you pushed his hair back to get a clear view of his serene face, you thought he may be trying to pin down the moonlight to your skin. The way his gaze locked with yours showed how intensely he cared about this moment. His kisses acted as an attempt to encapsulate you in the light, an attempt to preserve this moment forever. You were not just another nightly escapade (not that either of you had many of those, both unknowingly too caught up in being smitten by the other). Rather, in this moment, Obi-Wan was declaring he was going to make love to you with each and every kiss pressed to your skin. The final kiss he pressed to your skin was your clit. Once this was finished, he began fingering you, stretching you with two fingers immediately and suckling on your clit. You gasped and moaned under his touch, fingers diving into his hair.

I want to make you mine, young one. After we began talking I wished I had fought with the council more to train you instead for the remainder of your time as a Padawan. Perhaps we could have been here sooner.

“Master Kenobi,” you moaned aloud. Not being able to form words verbally, you responded with the Force. How I began to wish the same. I suppose, then, I was always yours?

He pulled off of you, but added a third finger to his thrusts, smiling up at you brightly. “Yes. And I suppose I was always yours, then, too?”

“Yes,” you moaned out, high pitched, almost squeaking. You hummed and tried again, regardless of if Obi heard you the first time, “Yes, Master, you’re mine.” Obi-Wan’s smile somehow grew, but he quickly went back to working on you with his mouth. However, this time, he leaned more on his arm that he’s using to finger you. That way, his other hand was free to jerk himself off. You only noticed when he moaned against your clit lightly. “Master Kenobi, are you--”

Yes, he sent you, almost strained as if he was speaking, I think I could cum just by eating you out, I wouldn’t even need to touch myself.

“I wouldn’t want that,” you said, pushing his head lightly, “so why don’t you fuck me instead?”

He pulled his head up and smiled, “Anything for you, my darling.” He stood up, pulling you to join him, and guided you toward the bed, stopping by his drawers to grab a condom. Laying down on the bed, you watched him roll the condom over his cock and climb onto the bed with you. He kneeled between your legs, pulling up your leg to rest it on his hip. He used his other hand to grip your hip and pulled you towards him. You gasped, both at the sudden movement and his member pushing into your pussy slowly. “Such a good girl, taking me so perfectly. You can take me all, right, my young one?” You nodded your head fiercely, unable to form a coherent thought as he continued to thrust in and out of you, each thrust going deeper than the last.

Once he settled into you completely, your hands fisted his bedsheets roughly. “So full, you fill me up so nice, Master Kenobi.” You shifted your hips against him, attempting to get him to thrust into you. His grip on your hip dissipated as he moved to push down on them. You moved your hand over his, pushing down on it lightly while also gripping his hand.

“Is there something you need from your Master, young Jedi?” Your grip on his hand tightened as you nodded. “What do you need? You can use your words.” You blushed as you attempted to quantify what you wanted him to do. You attempted to shift your hips as the position became uncomfortable from being held for so long without moving. “Please, princess. I want to give you what you want, but I will not move until you tell me.”

“I want you...I…” you trailed off, becoming embarrassed for what you were trying to ask. You threw your head to the side and thought to him, I want you to mark me. I don’t care if it hurts. I want to know, as long as the bruises last, that I am yours. I want to hold on to this moment.

“Is that all, young one?” You nodded in response, trying not to embarrass yourself more than you felt you had. “There is nothing to be embarrassed over, sweet girl. I want to please you, and the only way I can do that is if I know what you want. Never be embarrassed when asking for what you want.”

You smiled as his hand moved back to your hip, his grip stronger than before. Timidly, you add on, “Can you also move, Obi-Wan? I...I need it.” He silently responded by squeezing your hip and thrusting into you. He quickly picked up speed, however, thrusting into you desperately. Obi-Wan shifts, dropping the leg he held at his hip to be able to lean over you. Moaning at the new angle, you wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping him close. Your fingers delved into his hair, tugging at it as he thrust into you just right. Obi-Wan moaned at that, flicking his hips faster in response.

“Where do you want me to mark you, hm? Maybe a place above your robes so all the other Jedi Masters will see and know you’re mine?” You tensed slightly under him, even as your pussy clenched. “No, darling? I didn’t mean to worry you. I will make sure no one can see.” Obi-Was pressed light kisses to your collarbone, as he had before, but quickly began to suck on your collarbone and lined it with love bites.

Too overwhelmed with the pleasure, you think to Obi-Wan, Perhaps another time, you can make them more visible. Let everyone know I am yours and yours alone.

He only hummed in response as he busied himself with bruising your skin. You shoved a hand between the two of you, rubbing your clit in small circles.

Am I not good enough for you, young one?

You stopped your movements and began to stammer out an excuse.

I am only teasing, darling. I want you to cum on my cock. And, you’re making it much easier for me to achieve that goal.

You both continued like this, attempting to reach your climaxes by pulling on Obi’s hair, him suckling on your skin to leave marks, and you circling your clit. Eventually, your legs tensed and you lifted your hips up towards him. You gasped, the inner walls of your pussy fluttering around his cock. “Obi-Wan, I’m cumming,” you exclaimed, moaning even more as you flung your head back against the pillows.

“Let go, love. Cum for me, show me you’re mine.”

Your hips stuttered against his, legs tensing and shaking on either side of the Jedi Master. He pulled up and off of you, shifting back onto his knees. He thrust through your orgasm, attempting to reach his own. He moved his hands again to grip your hips tightly, bringing you against him roughly. Obi-Wan moaned as he thrust into you as fast as he could, wanting to cum so badly. “Cum for me, Master. I can sense how desperate you are, n’ I wanna know I made you cum. You came inside your young Jedi’s cunt, all for her. Only for her.” His hips began to stutter irregularly against you as he came, moaning your name just as he did the night before. Obi-Wan eventually stalled against you, collapsing slightly. “After that show, you can put your full weight on me. You deserve it, and I don’t want you to pull out just yet,” You said, rubbing his head gently..

“I always had a feeling you’d be insatiable,” Obi-Wan chuckled. He leaned his full weight on top of you. It was surprisingly comforting, especially after his rough grip and bruising kisses. He snuggled into your neck, pressing sloppy kisses against it, as your hands settled at his waist. “I can only hope to completely satiate you, one day, I suppose.”

“You did perfectly fine, Obi-Wan. For now.” He finally pulled off of you, forcing you to come to his refresher with him to clean up. When you finally laid back down in his bed, both of you naked and comfortable in each other’s arms, you were too tired to do anything more than hum in content. Just as you were trailing off to sleep, a warm thought entered your brain.

I love you, young one. Never forget that.

You responded quickly, though you assumed the sleepiness that would have been present in your voice was also present in your thoughts.

I love you, too, Obi.

[mrs-hollandstan]

hello! could you do an angsty fic based on the song yes to heaven by lana del rey where reader is pining after peter but he just doesn’t realize please?

This is actually really cute and I kinda dreaded writing it at first haha

If you dance, I'll dance

Peter was your best friend. Since kindergarten. You were there always, and you, like Ned (and now MJ) knew his deepest secret. And even though he knew you like the back of his hand, he didn't know your deepest secret. 

Tonight was Prom. The biggest night of your life, or what was supposed to be and maybe it would be, but you knew that you hadn't been asked to Prom by anyone which meant going "alone" even though you had a group of friends you'd be with, but you knew that he had asked her and that was somehow worse than not having a date yourself. 

You'd watched him go for Liz, and you supported him, and you were glad when she went away. You thought he'd remain your little, single, best friend, but then his attraction shifted to MJ and it was like a punch through your heart. You had been heart-eyes for him for so long and he never noticed and you knew that even if he did, it would never come to fruition because he was your best friend. You were his and that was a big no no. You could dream though right. 

And if you don't, I'll dance anyway

You had a beautiful dress and pretty heels and your hair and makeup were done to the best of your cousin's ability. You knew that you weren't ugly (you weren't the prettiest in school but who wants that, they're bitches anyways) and you knew that at least a few pairs of eyes would be on you. Even if those weren't Peter's, it'd be okay. You could fill that void with… Flash Thompson or something. 

You found the group near the back, Peter and MJ facing each other as they danced together, but not touching, and Ned makes a noise, drawing your eyes to him. Betty leans against him, 

"Wow Y/N, you look…"

"Killer." Betty finishes for him, admiring you just as much as her on-again, off-again boyfriend had. Damn, everyone really had someone huh?

"Oh yeah, you look nice Y/N." Peter speaks up in that overly innocent voice of his, eyes never leaving your face before he diverts his attention back to MJ who doesn't even give you a glance. When had he ever not called you by a nickname? Was that something he started doing when she showed up, calling you by your formal first name? 

Give peace a chance

You fall into the routine. Distracting yourself with the less obsessed with each other couples and the singles in your group, dancing and mingling, sipping punch and snacking on crackers and chips and dip. It was nice. For once you didn't feel like you had to distract yourself from them. It was natural. Grooving along as a few slow songs replace the upbeat ones you were grooving to and joining the loners on the benches brought back that overwhelming dull feeling you had whenever you watched Peter with his girlfriend. The way he swayed, arms wrapped around her waist, forehead pressed to hers. What it's like to be Ned and Betty, unphased by the fact that your best friend is so helplessly in love with someone else while all you can do is suffer in silence being in love with them. You swallow back the tears and the lump in your throat at the thought of Peter marrying her, having kids with her, and you being alone forever. You have to look away. Downing a few more glasses of punch, Betty and Ned strike up a conversation, letting you forget about the searing jealousy within you. And it's back to the dancing soon enough. 

Peter and MJ are comfortable enough that her back presses to his chest and he wraps his arms around her and they sway, singing together. Her smile is bright and so is his and it kills you. 

Let the fear you have fall away

She turns to him, a faint squeak sounding along the polished floor since she's worn tennis shoes and his smile widens when she says something to him. 

You've been in love with Peter since Kindergarten, you're pretty sure. He's always been adorable and of course you've always tried to chalk it down to him just being like a brother to you, but it's so much more. You've never realized how much you really do love him. He's been by your side, he's helped you through personal and work related issues, he's confided in you when it came down to Spider-Man and the emotional toll it was taking on him. He leaned on you and you let him, and you held back the tears until he couldn't hurt you or comfort you. He was oblivious and you seemed fine with it but if he knew, you knew he'd hate himself and he'd beg for your forgiveness, but he surely would never make you what she is to him. Their relationship is too powerful and he doesn't like you like that. It would never happen. Maybe it's because he's never had to save you. You've never put yourself in harm's way. 

I've got my eye on you

As you watch, with his strong arms wrapped around her, he leans in the same way she does and they kiss, so softly you can practically see how in love they are. You've never seen them kiss and you could really have gone without it. 

You glance away but the heartbreak is already setting in. Your breaths are short, chest tight, eyes stinging as you fight the tears. 

What hurts the most is that you'll never be her for him. He has someone he loves while you obsess over him. You have no one now, and he has everything he's ever wanted. Sure, you're happy for him, but it still kills you. 

Turning, Betty reaches out to hold your wrist, eyebrows knitting together at the look on your face, 

"Hey, what's the matter?" You shake your head,

"N-nothing. I need… I need fresh air." 

"I'll go with-"

"No!" The outburst draws all kinds of eyes to you including MJ's and Peter's, his eyebrows knitting together. Betty jumps as if she's been stung and her eyes widen just a little, Peter straightening up as a tear slides down the side of your nose, "I just… I need to be alone." 

I've got my eye on you

You dart away from the group, your heels clicking along the polished wood floor until you're pushing into the halls. The music is muffled behind the closed doors, allowing you to drop down to the floor and sob. The cracking in your chest is so damn painful. It feels like any moment, your heart will disconnect itself and leave your body to avoid the pain. 

The tears splash off the floor and you'd hate to see how your makeup looks but you don't think you're going back in there. You can't will yourself to convince people you're fine. Especially not your group of friends. As you're picking yourself up from the floor, the doors behind you burst open and Peter emerges, reaching out for your arm. He doesn't realize it when you pull it out of his reach, 

"What happened? Are you hurt?" You shake your head, brushing your tears from under your eyes, 

"I'm fine." 

"You don't really expect me to believe that do you? You're crying at prom, in the middle of the hallway." He states like its the most obvious thing. You swallow, 

"I just need air." 

"Okay… I'll go with you." 

"No, I need to be alone." 

"I've known you my whole life and I know you hate being alone." If he thinks he knows you so well, why doesn't he realize he's the one causing you so much pain? 

"There's a lot I don't like Peter." 

"What do you mean? Y/N, what's going on with you?" He asks. 

Say yes to heaven

Turning to him, you stare into those cool brown eyes, eyes that have always calmed you and you can't help it. Your lip quivers, 

"You don't always have to understand what's going on with Peter. I can handle myself." 

"You know I believe you, but you don't have to hide it. You can tell me anything. I'm your best friend and I would kill for you." If only that were true. I mean… you'd never wish death on her but… it'd be easier. It'd lessen your panic. You shake your head, 

"It's fine Peter. Just… go back inside." You turn to start away from him but he has so much that tells him your every move. Not only, as a normal human, can he read you like an open book, but with this new superhuman power thing, he senses when something is wrong. His face shows it, 

"I'm not leaving you. Especially with all that… suicide, drunk driving crazy crap going on that surrounds prom. You're storming out of there for no reason, crying and I… you shouldn't be alone." 

"Peter-" 

"No, talk to me! I'm your best friend and I am not going to let you die and have to tell your parents, your family, our friends that I didn't do anything to protect you." He yells. He really thinks this is a call for help, and it is, but not that way. You scoff, wondering how boys are so oblivious, glancing at him as you lean against the handrail behind you.

Say yes to me

"You really wanna know?" You ask him softly. He nods, moving in closer, 

"Of course. I hate seeing you in so much pain." He tells you. Your smile is sinister because he's so damn stupid. Closing your eyes and rubbing a hand across your face, you sigh, 

"I like you." Is all you state at first. He frowns, eyes glancing down at the floor. He's confused because he likes you too but he would never think you like him that way unless it was directly stated, "I've liked you since we were kids. And yeah, I'm so, so, so happy for you for having a girlfriend that loves you and you love her, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt for me. You'll never love me like that and that's fine but… I can't just watch you guys be in love. It fucking kills me." You explain to him. His mouth hangs open in shock and you cross your arms, 

"I can't pretend to be fine around you guys. You and Ned got girlfriends and all and yeah, maybe I could get a boyfriend and it would hurt less but you know I love your personality and I always have and I don't know that anyone will ever come close to that. So now I'm alone and I'm not going to take you from her to pity me so I don't really… have a best friend anymore. If I want to be around you I guess I can just come find you and be a third wheel." You tell him. 

Say yes to heaven

You watch his eyes change. He's panicking a little, 

"Are you saying… you don't wanna be friends anymore?" 

"It's not that we can't, it's that I… I don't know if I have it in me to put up this facade. I'm not telling you to give her up, I'm just saying… I think… now that we're about to split up for college… maybe it's time to start doing it now. I- it hurts too bad and I just… I can't." 

"Y/N, please don't do this. You've been my best friend for decades. Why can't we just… I mean… I can figure out how to split my time between the two of you." 

"No you can't. That's not fair to her and I'm not going to do that to you two. It's just better if I move on. I'll probably go to California for college anyways. It's for the best to separate ourselves now." You conclude. You don't know what will hurt worse, but after a while, you'll hurt less moving on without him. He takes another step forward, 

"Y/N, c'mon, you can't do this." 

"I won't ruin your life and I won't hurt myself because I have a selfish little crush on you I would've never acted on." You tell him. You stand and stare at each other before you stand and brush your tears from beneath your eyes, sighing,

"You're destined for greatness Peter Parker and it would've happened eventually. Now just gives me a reason to start." You tell him, voice shaky. His face softens, 

"I don't wanna lose you." He says, his voice just as shaky. You shrug, crossing your arms and preparing yourself to walk away from your best friend for the last time. You sigh, 

"I'm not going back in there. This is kinda… it. I have to go home."

"At least let me take you." 

Say yes to me

"No! You have a girlfriend in there and I'm not going to let you! Goddammit Peter, I have to get away from you, don't you get that? I can't be what I need to and it hurts too much. Just… fuck off." The look on his face is pure pain. He hates that you're abandoning him. And maybe you should be forced to settle as just his friend, but you can't. You can't sit back and watch them be happy together. The pain is unbearable. They're better off without you and your selfish jealousy. He's better off without you, 

"Y/N, don't do this. You're just as important as MJ, I can't go without talking to you. Please." You hold up a hand as he nears you again. You stare into each other's eyes, tears in both sets. You shake your head, 

"I'll never be more to you than her. Maybe when we were kids but… we're different now." 

"Y/N-" You shake your head again, swallowing the lump. You know he feels the same way you do. The pure dread of giving up your best friend because the love you feel for him is just too strong, "please." He whispers. It breaks your heart further as you meet his eyes again and sniffle, 

"Goodbye Peter." You say. And you turn your back, and walk away from your ex-best friend. And it stings. But hopefully it will keep your heart in your body staying away from him. God you hope so.

[suchalonelysunflower]

Searching Clearer Skies

Where The Storm Gathers - Chapter 1

Pairing: Stable Lad! Calum Hood x Princess! Reader

Summary: Safe and sound at the Crimson Islands, Y/N and Calum adjust to their new life

Warnings: Mentions of abuse. Violence. Blood. Murder. Guilt. Language. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 8K

Author’s Note: My babes are here! I would love to know your thoughts for this 🥺Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and likes are super important and they help me a lot 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?

Book 2 Materialist || Prologue

The whinny of the horse echoed throughout the woods as the horseshoes crashed against the mud, slipping a few times on its steps but still standing tall as the race continued, encouraged by its rider.

The storm was strong and merciless, dark clouds hovering over the sky crashing one against the other and creating thunders that lasted for more than a minute. The winds whistled threats as the raindrops soaked the ground violently, flooding the path. One wrong move and everything could be lost for those who wander under this storm, but only madmen are capable of doing it.

But Calum was not a madman, he was desperate. His heart beat fast as he hunched over the horse, commanding him to go faster and faster into the darkness. His clothes were soaked and his eyelashes were glued together due to the raindrops that cut through his body like a knife, making it impossible for him to see past the head of the horse.

Lightning crashed, the thunder roared and still, they weren’t as loud as his voice calling his beloved’s name.

He went wherever his heart would tell him to, no second-guessing as he jumped over the fallen carcass of trees that were hit by the wild winds that were blowing, but his determination allowed him to stay put, never once failing to catch himself back in the moment, running faster and faster hoping to get there in time.

“Y/N!” He shouted above the thunder, commanding the horse to take a sharp left as a flash of lightning came crashing down near them.

How did they end up there? So far away and without each other. What made them torn apart? Yet, none of those questions could be answered right now. There was no point to them. Not when she was gone and he couldn’t find her.

The woods seem to expand with every gallop, just a sea of darkness in front of him, an endless void of a starless night, and an unreachable ending as his hopes were starting to falter.

“Y/N!” He cried, voice already hoarse and strained. The strings of his heart almost breaking to the point of feeling nothing but pain every time silence would answer him “Y/N!”

“Calum!”

It was faint, almost inaudible over the rain. Anyone could think that it was just a simple and cruel trick of the mind. But only Calum could recognize that voice anywhere; it was his love and she was in danger.

“Calum!”

She called again, but from where? The echo made it seem like she was everywhere and nowhere at once. Almost as if she was some kind of bird in which his name was cursed to be her calling, always chasing but never catching it.

“Y/N! Where are you?!”

He ran, as far as the horse’s legs would let him as he encouraged the animal to go even faster as they went against the storm walking right into it as he kept calling her name. Knowing that even if she was in the middle of a hurricane, he would never stop until he found her.

“You’re running out of time, boy” A sinister voice accompanied by her cries mixed with the thunder echoed through the woods, but for Calum, it felt almost as if they were whispered in his ear.

The stable lad tightened his grip on the reins and commanded the stallion to go faster “Y/N!”

But he hears nothing but cries. Earth Shattering screams bleed into his head, suffocating him as he cried for her, praying to every deity that was still loyal to them that she would be okay.

“Calum!” It seemed so far, but so close at the same time “Calum!” So he kept going.

Trees would fall; lightning would scatter and the thunder roared, and he ignored all of them. He just needed to get to her even if the world around him seemed to fade into nothingness.

Y/N’s screams seemed to get louder and louder until suddenly, they disappeared.

Calum pulled on the reins, making everything but the rain stop. His heavy breathing was ringing in his ears as he looked around, wondering where she went. But it wasn’t until a ray of lightning hit the ground that he saw her.

She was standing at the edge of a cliff with a tear-stained face, looking straight at him but not moving an inch. Her hair clung to her face as the rain-soaked her entire figure, making her white dress become nothing but a rag.

“Cal…” She whispered, but he still heard it loud and clear.

He jumped off the horse the moment he saw her, an immense sense of relief and happiness came over him as he started to run, calling out for her as the moon calls her stars.

But then, he saw it. A silver light shine pressed against her neck; only a glimpse, only a second, but enough to make him stop in his tracks, just a few meters far from her.

“Glad to know that you have some common sense, boy” The sinister voice called again, but this time Calum knew exactly who it was.

As quick as a bolt of lightning, King Richard made his appearance, wrapping a leather-gloved hand over Y/N’s throat, making her head fall back onto his shoulders as he squeezed just enough to make tears spill from her face.

A condescending, pleased smirk came to his face, watching with red-blooded eyes how she succumbed to his strength. Then, he slowly turned to Calum, showing all of his teeth in a wicked smile.

“So glad you could make it,” He said, pressing the tip of the knife into her skin “I was starting to think you would never find us, and what’s the fun in that?”

“Let her go” Calum nearly growled, taking a step closer to them but stopping the moment Richard pressed the knife harder, drawing a drop of blood from her neck.

Richard smiled “You’re smart. Good At least I know my daughter has a bit of sense when it comes to her choosing a partner” He sneered

“Let. Her. Go” Calum repeated, clenching his fists at his sides and with his heart beating as fast as the rainfall “She’s got nothing to do with this”

“She has everything to do with this!” Richard barked, moving the grip from her neck into her arms and digging his fingers into her skin, leaving marks that might stay there for days.

“Father, please-” Y/N begged in between coughs for air “Leave him be”

“Oh, I will dear. But I must teach this boy a lesson first”

Calum set his desperate eyes on her, unable to hide the fear in them as he watched how she tried to regain her breathing without any sudden moves that could get her closer to the knife.

“Y/N-”

“Cal, please go” She begged, pressing her lips into a thin line to try and drown the pain and the fear “He can’t hurt you here”

He shook his head “I’m not leaving without you”

“How touching”

Calum’s eyes became hard as stone as he turned to the King, standing straighter despite the rain’s attempt to bring him down with them.

“Leave her alone,” He said coldly, taking one step closer “Or I promise you, your head will roll down that cliff with the scum where you belong”

The King just laughed hysterically, closing his eyes as he shook his head slowly “You really think you can threaten me? Me?! I am your King!”

“Calum…”

“You are nothing but a fake! A coward who hides behind his daughter’s body. If you’re so valiant, come and face me like a man”

Richard smiled, almost as if he was waiting for it.

“Oh, Calum, Calum… That’s where you’re wrong” He said, eyes darkening as his smile widened “I’m not a man. I’m a King”

And all that Calum could hear afterward was the sound of the knife slashing her throat.

*

He jolted awake with beams of sweat running down his forehead, his whole body was drenched in sweat which made him think he was back in the woods. But Calum wouldn’t, Calum couldn’t because the woods were at home in RoseWood and there were no woods in the Isles.

His brown eyes quickly landed on his side, finally being able to breathe with some sort of relief the moment he saw her sleeping there: His wife.

Y/N had her face pressed into the pillow, shifting slightly and mumbling something in her dream when his hand came to brush some of her hair that had fallen into her face, covering her beauty from him. Calum watched her sleep for a few minutes, thanking every god there is for allowing him to live this moment, even if it was just for a few more hours before they have to wake up. He just wished she could sleep peacefully tonight, no nightmares.

Outside the window it was still raining, it hasn’t stopped since they came here almost six months ago. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw the sun, but he knew he always felt warm with her by his side. And she was by his side, and that was the most important thing. She was there with him, alive and well and still in love with him. He could go a lifetime without sunshine if it meant to keep her safe.

Thunders were roaring and he was thankful that Y/N was a heavy sleeper, he even was a little jealous because he knows he won’t be able to fall asleep again. He never does after those kinds of nightmares.

The memory of that afternoon in the woods still haunts him. The screams the Princess let out when she begged her father for mercy still live in his head, reminding him that this was all his fault. He could still hear her call his name; feel her cling into his aching body on the damped, humid cells of the dungeon; and, even if she won’t admit it, he still remembers the sadness in her eyes when they had to leave home because “home” was not safe enough. And he can’t help but to feel guilty.

Calum rose from their bed, wiping a damped cloth over his face as he walked up to the window, hoping that the rain could wash out his fears and bring him back to the present. He leaned over, pressing his forearm to the glass as he watched the clouds crash against one another, counting the seconds after the lightning to hear its sounds.

He doesn’t know how much time he stayed there, maybe a few minutes, maybe hours. What he knows is that he could never truly relax until he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, smiling when he noticed a gold wedding band adorning one of the fingers.

“It’s cold without you there” She mumbled, pressing her cheek against his back.

“I know, I’m sorry,” He said, placing his hands on top of hers.

“Hmm, you knew and you still left” Y/N reprimanded, making him chuckle as he lifted her hand and placed a soft kiss on her palm “It was another nightmare, wasn’t it?”

“It’s always the same, at least the ending is”

“You could talk to me, you know? Maybe it could help” She offered, slipping into his arms and ending up in front of him, doe eyes looking straight at him “I hate to see you so caught up in there,” Her hands flew to either side of his face, cupping it delicately “Just let me in, let me help you”

Calum smiled softly “You’re too kind, my rose. But this is not a burden I’d want you to carry. It is only mine to bear”

“It doesn’t have to be,” She said. “You’ve helped me carry my burden for years, creating a safe space with you while my nightmare was just beginning. You’ve helped me so much, Cal. Why can’t you let me do the same?”

“Because I’m selfish,” He smiled “And besides, now it’s not a time to talk about nightmares”

“Why?”

“Cause the sun’s coming up”

Y/N gasped and turned around, but was only met with cloudy skies and a light drizzle. Then, she turned around with a frown only to find Calum trying not to smile.

“That’s not funny,” She said, punching him lightly on the chest. “Besides, how do you know it’s morning already? You can’t see anything past those clouds and the fog”

“Take the word from a man who worked his whole life on a field” He laughed, placing one hand at either side of her waist and pulling her closer “And you also look gorgeous in the morning”

Y/N hummed as he kissed her forehead “Didn’t my husband say I look gorgeous every single time of day?”

“Did he?” Calum asked, placing kisses all over her cheeks and down to her jaw and neck “Must be a very observant and smart man”

“Yes,” She let out a breathy giggle, tangling her hands at the back of his head. “But don’t tell him, or his ego would be unstoppable…” She sighed when his lips met the spot behind her ear, curling her fingers but finding nothing to hold on to “God, I miss your curls”

“They’ll grow back” He whispered in her ear, biting it slightly as his hands traveled to the back of her thighs, picking her up with ease without ever stopping the work of his mouth on her skin.

“Cal…” She breathed, “Take me to bed”

“As you wish”

He pulled away just in time for her hand to cup his cheek, bringing him closer as their lips met, carefully savoring their moment as he carried her to bed.

*

Life at the Isles was nothing like in RoseWood, that was for sure.

Thanks to Ashton, Y/N could keep her title as The Princess of Roses, yet the benefits she used to hold at her birthplace did not follow. Here, she was just another member of King Alex’s court and so was Calum and although it was not what they were used to, they managed to adapt pretty quickly.

Early in the mornings, all members of the court were expected to stand in the throne room to receive the King and Queen and discuss what’s been going on with the Kingdom; after that, Y/N and Calum went their separate ways.

The ladies of the court were free to choose any activity or class of their liking, something foreigner to the Princess who's been told all her life what she should do. While the men of the court were sent to train or to their own business to negotiate trades with other kingdoms. When they arrived, Calum offered his service as a Stable Lad, yet that position was already taken and King Alex thought he might work better as an apprentice of the Welder, hence the ring on his wife’s finger and his matching one on his left hand, made out of just for her by his own hands.

Still, life at the Isles was pretty lonely. Words travel fast, especially when a runaway Princess and her new not-Royal husband escape their Kingdom a day before her wedding to a powerful King. And while King Alex was very aware of the situation, the other members of the court had their own ideas, and so, rumors started to spread.

But neither Calum nor Y/N paid much attention to them. They knew their story, they knew what they went through. So the words of strangers did not damage them but made them stronger, ready to prove them wrong when they were underestimated. And, after all, they had each other and they were safe, that was the only thing that mattered to them.

“Do you think he’ll notice we were late?” Y/N asked as she hurried her steps through the stone-floored hallway

“There is still time,” Calum assured her “Although we might not make it to our places in time”

“And surely Lady Johana will have something to say about it” She rolled her eyes “I can’t believe you convinced me to stay in bed a little longer than we’re used to”

Calum chuckled “It’s not like you needed much convincing anyway, Rose. After all, dear wife, who was the one that couldn’t keep her hands off-“

“Say another word and I’ll tell Lord Gillian how interested you are in learning ancient geology” She challenged with a smile, the same one she held every time she playfully threatened him since they were children.

Calum just rolled his eyes and grabbed Y/N by the waist, sweeping her off her feet and pulling her closer to him as she squealed, trying to get away from his grasp as he started to tickle her.

“Cal! Noooo” She tried to hold her laughter as he hid his face on her neck, putting her down and wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her closer “You’re a menace”

“Yet, you still chose to marry me” He kissed her cheek “So I’m your menace, no one else’s”

“Hmm, you better” She pecked his lips “But my menace of a husband is going to make us late”

Y/N slid from his grasp, grabbing his hand and pulling him with her as they made their way to the throne room and take the small space in the corner, earning a few glances from the not-so-friendly members of the court.

King Alex’s throne room was not as big as the one in RoseWood, nor as brightly lit. But it was enough to hold all 30 members of the court, the monarchs, their pets, and a few servants who always stayed put in case they were needed.

All members of the court stood in a semi-circle around the two throne chairs, all of them with an assigned space where they would wait until the King or Queen asked them something, or until the meeting was over.

It was weird for the couple to see such order and respect for each individual, given that Y/N’s father was not one to take advice from people and just act out of his own thoughts and ideas, no matter how cruel or crazy they might be. But King Alex was always fair, a bit eccentric and sometimes narcissistic, but always fair and respectful towards others; not to mention a good friend for the RoseWood’s Prince, taking Y/N and Calum in and promising them nothing but safety in his realm.

He was a respected man, a noble, humble King that carried no weapons in his court because his trust was always in his friends. Yet, today when the servants opened the door for him and the Queen, it was the frown set upon his face that made all conversations die as he made his way to his throne.

King Alex’s eyes surveyed the room, biting the inside of his cheek lightly as he laid his eyes on the RoseWood bound couple before sitting down.

“Sir Steriff!” The King called, making everyone in the room shake at the sudden boom of his voice.

“Y-yes, your Majesty?” Poor Sir Cleamont Steriff stuttered, but King Alex just rolled his eyes.

“How’s the situation down at the bay? Sources say that there’s a clear decline in the production”

The questions were not as serious or as important as his voice made them out to be. Y/N could recognize that tone of hidden anger, it was the same tone her father used when he had to speak to her in a public setting, and the same one Ashton used when something about his royal duties as an heir bothered him. She knew Calum could recognize that too, so when her eyes met his she found the same comforting look he used to give her, as well as a tug on her hand for reassurance.

It was in the small moments where Y/N found herself back in RoseWood; a simple whisper or ill-intentioned look brought back the memory of her father; the sound of crystal shattering or the sound of a whip or a slap; even the shadows that surrounded the palace made her wary of what may hide inside them, wondering if there could ever be free of the crows and her father’s power over her.

Because even when they were kingdoms away, a father’s harm can still hurt and the memories may never be forgotten as long as they shall live, but they’ll live differently in a separate perspective where one is a villain and the other one is smiling over that fact. Y/N was still learning to live with that darkness, make it part of herself so she could let go and grow with it and never let it win.

Luckily for her, Calum was willing to do anything and everything to make sure that she was safe in every single sense of the word. For Calum has had his own share of darkness, the moments that haunt him at night even though the proof of their victory is still the beating of their hearts. It was the demons they had to face, but they would never do it on their own, not as long as their hands are intertwined and their love lives in their hearts.

“I would like to request an audience with Princess Y/N and Sir Hood” Alex’s voice made them go back to reality, feeling all eyes on them as they solemnly nod and bow “Alone. You are all dismissed”

The whispers were louder this time. A handful of eyes looking in their direction going from pitiful to curious to confused. The King rarely asked for private audiences, so no one really knew if they should feel grateful or jealous at the couple’s fate.

Once the room got cleared out except for The King and Queen, a few servants, and Calum and Y/N, King Alex finally let out a sigh, leaning his back against the throne and pinching the skin right between his eyes.

“Your Majesty,” The two of them said in unison as they approached the throne, bowing.

“Rise,” King Alex commanded. “I assume the two of you would not hide something from me after I gave you shelter under my kingdom, correct?”

“Yes, Your Majesty” Calum answered, not even batting an eye “We could never hide something from you”

“You’ve been so good to us,” Y/N added, a kind smile playing on her lips as she looked between the monarchs “We owe you two so much for all your kindness and understanding. We might never be able to repay it”

“There is no need for a settlement of debt” The Queen smiled, placing her hand over her husband’s “And we have no doubts about your intentions in our kingdom, knowing how difficult it was for you to get out of RoseWood. But-”

“But there’s been some unsettling news that traveled all the way overseas” The King finished “And any information you have about it would be useful for us”

“If we can ease Your Majesty’s mind with something, then we’ll do our best for it to be so,” Calum said with a nod, standing straighter and looking directly at the King so he knew he wasn’t lying.

“There is a rumor running around,” The King of the Isles said gravely “That the King of Roses has an army ready for battle and that he wants to go to war with all the nearby Kingdoms who oppose him”

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat “It can’t be”

“It is said that other kingdoms have started to revoke their promises to RoseWood until a true leader comes along and that Richard is not happy about it. Would you happen to know anything that could confirm or deny this rumor?”

“I’m afraid we possess no such information, Your Majesty” Calum said, practically ripping the words out of Y/N's Mouth even though she was too frightened to even speak “The last time we heard news about King Richard was that he lost all support from The Vail when King Luke swore allegiance to his son, Prince Ashton. Maybe the other kingdoms got winds about the deal and did the same”

“And my father does not have an army,” Y/N added, hands shaking at the memories “He offered to marry me to King Luke to gain the most powerful army with the warriors of The Vail since RoseWood’s soldiers could not face so many kingdoms at once. The last news we got was from one of King Luke’s letters saying that my father was in shambles when it came to political power, and do believe me Your Majesty when I say that King Richard is not a strong man to pick himself up on his own”

King Alex’s hummed, seemingly pleased with the answers “I know your loyalties lie with the right side of the story,” He said, making the two of them let out a breath of relief “But truth is that you’ve been away from home for far too long to know if things have indeed changed in the months you’ve been here in Crimson Isles. Say, Your Highness, any news from our dear Prince?”

Y/N visibly tensed and her hand reached for Calum’s in an unconscious and instant move at the mention of her brother's name, the only one who’s been consuming her thoughts with worry for she didn’t know anything about him since they went away.

“I’m afraid not, Your Majesty,” She said, clearing her throat “Although I’m hopeful that by the next shipping news will come from RoseWood”

“Let us pray it’ll be that way” The Queen answered with an understanding smile “Our dear Prince Ashton must be very busy as always, but he will not forget us”

“Captain Merrick will come in a fortnight” King Alex added “I’ll request an audience with him and with the two of you. My Lord,” He said, referring to Calum who nodded “I take your lessons are going well?”

“Yes, Your Majesty”

“And your lessons, Your Highness? Is Maester Lorcas treating you well?”

Y/N smiled with ease “I’m learning a lot from the Maester, it’s an honor to be his pupil and I’m thankful for the opportunity”

King Alex smiled as well, pleased that the two of them were content in his court “And we are grateful that you’re here and safe. Now, you may go on with your day. You’re dismissed, if anything new comes regarding King Richard, I’ll let you know”

Calum and Y/N thanked the King and Queen with a bow before exiting the throne room. They walked a few meters, making sure no one was following them when Calum pulled her to a secluded hallway, finally letting out their worried breaths as they stood one in front of the other.

“Calum…” She said, eyes wide open with a threat of tears gathering at the corners.

“It’s okay, Rose,” He said, cupping her cheek with his palm, masking his own worry. “It’s just a rumor. We both know your father cannot do much with Asthon there, and even if he sent him to another political trip, the army is not strong, not under his command”

He was trying to be reasonable. RoseWood’s army was good and it could manage in a battle. Yet, with King Richard on the throne the administration of it never really progressed into anything else than a simple guard. They were not equipped for war and it seemed rather impossible for them to become a force to be reckoned with in less than a year.

“But we don’t know where Ashton is!” Y/N whispered, trying to bite her tongue almost as if the blood that might drop from it might keep her grounded “Calum, it’s been months since his last letter and I know my brother. I know he won’t break his promise to write to us; to me. And I can’t shake this feeling that maybe-”

“If anything were to happen we would already be informed” Calum tilted her head so she could look him in the eyes “I’m not disregarding your feelings, my love. But we also try not to draw conclusions too quickly. The weather here might’ve delayed any letters and if Captain Merrick is on his way he might bring news from him. We must remain hopeful, Ashton will be fine”

The stable lad pulled her close, placing a small kiss on her forehead as he felt her shoulders relax into the embrace.

“Do you want me to walk you to the laboratory?” He asked with a small smile, running his hands up and down her arms. Y/N shook her head.

“I’ll be fine, my love, thank you. Thank you for everything”

Calum smiled, cupping her face one more time as he took her in. All of her and her beautiful eyes looking at him, filled with love and comfort, he knew he was right where he was meant to be just by looking into those eyes.

“I love you, my little rose”

“I love you more”

*

The color of the liquid changed from yellow to green inside the little pot as it started to boil, making the Maester gasp as Y/N smiled proudly at her mixture.

“Your Highness! That’s a perfect ointment there!” The old man said, practically jumping with joy as he mixed the spoon with the now gooey product “And on your first try! May the gods bless those hands, Princess. You’re a natural!”

A small scoff was heard around the room, undoubtedly coming from one of the other ladies from the court that also chose to learn more about medicine. Yet, Y/N kept her head held high, as a Princess she was raised to bow to no one that didn’t deserve her respect and she was not going to let some ill-intended comments get to her, not after everything she had to endure from people that were meant to love her.

But that didn’t mean Maester Lorcas would keep the same composure.

“Lady Gillian,” He said, raising one of his white, bushy brows “Care to share with the class what this ointment does? From what I see, you still haven’t finished yours”

Lady Gillian gasped as her cheeks turned beat red, mumbling under her breath: “I did finish mine”

Maester Lorcas hummed with disdain “Can anyone else tell me what is that you’re doing right now? Why is important? Anyone?”

Y/N raised her hand “The ointment is mostly used to treat scars; one needs to scatter it across the damaged tissue every six hours and let it rest on the patient’s sink. If treated immediately, it could potentially erase the scar and prevent further damage and infections. It also works to erase any dark spots of the skin if accompanied by other treatments”

The old Maester smiled and laughed joyfully at her answer “See?!” He asked the other ladies “That’s what happens when you pay attention instead of talking about the latest gossip that everyone already knows on this small Island. You learn. Good job, Your Highness, as usual”

“Just because she’s a princess doesn’t mean she gets special treatment” One of the other ladies scoffed under her breath. Y/N only rolled her eyes and went back to her mixture “She had the perfect life anyway”

“Maybe if you stop whispering about her as if she wasn’t in the same room, you’ll be able to do something more than to waste everyone’s time,” Y/N said, not even turning around as she added a bit more chamomile seeds “I was raised to see honor and value in everything except on empty words and ill thoughts, and to respect every soul as an equal, no matter their background, something that you all lack. But maybe it’s a Princess’ thing and you wouldn’t know about that” She said, finally turning around with an unreadable face “Feel free to keep talking, it’s your right. But it is going to take more than that to try and hurt me. And maybe I could take it more seriously if you say it to my face”

The ladies all snickered and scoffed, lifting their noses and going back to their own pots as they tried and failed to get the recipe right. Y/N turned around, sending a complicit look to the Maester who stood and watched with a proud smile at how those nasty women were put back in their places with such grace.

Still, Y/N could not share the same joy as she sighed, going back to her work without saying another word.

She knew that life at the Isles would be a hard adjustment, but she was doing a great job considering the rumors that surrounded her. From the very first day in court whispers about how she was a runaway bride, breaking a powerful King’s heart as she decided to flee with her secret lover from a much lower social class. Others said she was bewitched; others that she was some kind of witch herself. No one knew about the hell she went through or the pain inside her heart at having to leave her hometown and the only family she loved behind.

Yes, she always dreamt of flying away from home, finding new horizons with Calum by her side. Find the home she never had on RoseWood, to begin with. But the guilt of leaving her beloved brother behind after knowing what her father was capable of; the pain of leaving behind all her mother’s memories; and the undying feeling of knowing something was wrong consumed her every day, wishing she could have more time to say goodbye to the place that saw her become the person she was today, maybe one last goodbye to the tree that saw her love bloom or one last trip to the square town, promising to go back one day when the skies were clearer and the danger was far gone.

She knew that time would come eventually, but without any news from Ashton, those hopes seemed farther and farther away.

“Your Highness?” Maester Lorcas asked, bringing her back from her thoughts “May I have a word?”

Only then did Y/N notice that the lesson was over and they were the only ones in the old lab.

“I must say, Princess, that I am very impressed,” He said, sitting on his chair with some difficulty “Are you sure you’ve never had any experience in the medical field?”

Y/N smiled, looking down as her cheeks were tinted pink “I can’t say I have, Maester. RoseWood didn’t let the royal family ever step foot into the infirmary unless it was an emergency. Fearing we might get sick”

Maester Lorcas laughed, raising his brows “Say, I never took you for one to follow the rules”

“Certainly not,” She laughed as well. “There were… situations in which I had to fend for myself to get an ointment or two without anyone noticing. My husband used to help me get them after I told them which one would be useful and effective, taking the information I stole from the Maesters at the palace”

“Must be a loyal one, that husband of yours”

“I wouldn’t be here without him,” She said, smiling at the memory of Calum helping her heal the wounds her father would give her, stealing from the town’s Maester or directly from the palace with the empty promise of it being the last time he would have to see her in pain because “it won’t happen again, you’ll see” until it happened again “Still, I was always interested in healing. So when King Alex so kindly offered to take these classes, I knew I couldn’t say no and prevent myself from so much knowledge”

“And let’s pray you might never have to use this knowledge if you come back home”

Those words seemed to spark something in her as she raised her gaze to the old Maester who looked at her with crystalized eyes and a knowing, merciful and understanding smile. Almost as if he could see the scars and old bruises that still covered her body. Still, he said nothing and Y/N was thankful for that.

“It’s an honor to have you as a student, Your Highness,” He said “For what its worth, I am glad that you came here”

Y/N pressed her lips in a thin line, nodding lightly before bowing and leaving the room. Feeling somehow validated by a stranger, finally someone she could trust.

*

The evening rain was stronger than this morning’s, still, that didn’t stop Calum from training, nothing did.

He swung the sword with such ease, cutting through the rain in synchronized moves; placing his feet where they were supposed to be; his breathing calm and collected as he raised his elbow to the level of his eyes, ready to strike again against the invisible evil that stood in front of him.

Grunts due to the effort escaped his lips as the rain fell on top of his buzz-shaved head, soaking him completely and making his white shirt cling to his skin, rain, and beads of sweat mixing and falling to the ground. But Calum didn’t care about how tired he might be or who might see him fight the rain. In his head, he could still hear her screams and watch her fall to her death without him being able to do anything about it.

The vivid memory of Y/N’s screams back in the woods; her father’s laughter as he started to hit her, grabbing her by the hair and kicking her sides while she pleaded for mercy on him, pleading with tears in her eyes for his guards not to hurt the man she loved.

All he could see at that moment was her. He did not care about the guards beating him up, if anything he couldn’t feel anything anymore, not while she was in pain, and all because of him. He tried to stand up, oh how many times did he try, but all that got him was mocking laughs from the King and his guards, feeling pathetic as he couldn’t protect her.

The sword made a swoosh sound, cutting his thoughts short as he started to hit the mock doll that they had ready for training. Only a crazy person would be training under the rain; but Calum was not crazy, he was determined. Determined to get those screams out of his head.

When King Alex offered him a job as a welder apprentice he took it with the condition to also have time for training. Y/N asked him why the sudden interest in learning how to fight with a sword, but how could he even explain without bringing her more pain than the one she was already carrying?

For years he stood and watched the mistreatment she suffered at the hands of her father; the abuse and cruelty she went through. Still, she managed to smile and see the beauty in everything, carrying such compassion in her heart and the hope for things to change. He wished he could be better, just like her. And he tried when she begged him to wait for her birthday so they could finally be free… He now knows he should’ve strode into the castle that night and confronted him, consequences be damned, but at least she would’ve been safer.

His heart was beating strongly inside his chest as he closed his eyes and let his instincts guide him on his next movements, imagining that exact moment in the woods and all the things he could’ve done.

Y/N watched with a heavy heart how her husband moved under the rain, hitting the target once, twice, three times before starting again with different moves.

She ponders on how much Calum has changed since they came to the Crimson Isles. He cut his hair short, fearing someone might recognize him upon arrival and bring Richard’s rage upon them; the muscles on his back and arms were more defined, more broadly as he scheduled at least two training sessions every day without missing a single one. But it was in his eyes where she could notice the biggest change, they were still warm and full of love whenever he looked at her, but it was in the moments when he thought she wasn’t looking that got her worried; she could see the storm that was hiding in them, all the thoughts he didn’t share, the pain and cold memories that haunt him.

It was impossible to lie. For Calum, it was impossible to lie to her, even if he was just hiding the truth.

She jumped when the iron sword hit the ground, Calum was still giving his back to her as he crouched to get the bow and arrow that was lying on the ground, moving swiftly towards the Alamy that stood at the other side, shooting arrow after arrow as the muscles on his back tensed.

Her eyes gazed at the sky, getting darker as the storm was getting restless, not thinking twice as she walked towards him, letting the mud cling to her dress as the rain covered her whole.

“It’s late,” She said as Calum hit the target.

“I know,” He answered, grabbing another arrow from the quiver, not even turning around to see her “I’ll be there soon”

“Calum,”

The thunder roared above them, but neither of them even dared to flinch as the arrow hit the target once again.

There were so many things unsaid under the rain, a pang of shared guilt and an indescribable fear, so similar and yet so different at the same time.

“Calum, let’s go to bed” She insisted with a sweet but firm voice “It’s time”

“Just- I need to get this right”

“Why? We are safe here” She put a hand on his shoulder, making him visibly relax “Cal…”

“It’s okay,” He whispered with a sigh, turning to look at her through the raindrops “I’ll be up there soon, my rose. You don’t have to wait out here in the rain”

“You shouldn’t be out here in the rain, my love”

“I want to be ready”

“For what?” She sighed, shaking her head before meeting his gaze once again “Sometimes I wish I could know what you’re thinking, the things you’re not telling me for some reason”

Calum looked at the floor “I don’t think there’s anything you don’t already know, my rose”

She nodded, giving him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes like she used to do. Then, she took a step back but stood still as her eyes never left his.

“Y/N,”

“I’m not letting you be in the rain all on your own, Cal,” She said, squinting her eyes due to the rain.

“You’re going to get sick,” The stable lad argued, but the Princess just shrugged.

“Too bad!” He was about to say something else but she cut him off “We are a team, Calum. Where you go, I go. If you get sick then so will I. You knew that before we married so don’t pretend I’ll leave without my husband”

Calum couldn’t help but smile, even though he tried, but the word “my husband” coming out of her lips still brought butterflies inside of him, reminding him of how lucky he was to be able to call her “his wife”

He knew there was no way to stop her if she wanted to stay. Y/N was never the one who took a no for an answer when her head was stuck on something so firmly, so stubborn yet so kind and loving. Calum could not love her more even if he tried, and he knew she loved him, too. So how not rejoice in that?

“What kind of husband will leave his wife standing in the rain?” He asked, taking a step closer to her.

“The worst kind, of course,” She smiled, placing her hands on his chest “But mine stays with me, so the debt is paid”

“The other husband should take notes”

“Maybe he should”

They both smiled before Calum wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her closer as she stood on her tiptoes, brushing their lips together as they started to feel warm under the cold storm. Knowing they’ll be alright after all.

*

When the morning came so did the breeze, making Y/N shiver as she nuzzled into Calum’s chest, letting his heartbeat be the melody that will lure her back to sleep. She could feel his strong arms wrapped around her, bringing her closer as he stirred awake, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Their legs were tangled under the sheets, finding warmth and comfort in each other’s embrace as they didn’t say a word. There was no need to say what they already knew, what they already felt deep inside their hearts. Safe and sound as they let the morning take its time to arrive.

Still, the breeze kept blowing, getting colder each time as it blew through the sails of a ship called the Kaleidoscope where a man stood proudly with a smirk as The Crimson Isles could already be seen standing a few kilometers away.

“My Lord?” The captain of the ship called his attention “We’ll be arriving shortly, just wanted to let you know so you can get your luggage ready”

“Thank you, Captain Merrick” The man smiled, extending his hand, taking the captain to shake “You are so very kind. I’m anxious to go back to the Isles after so many years”

“You said you were traveling a lot?”

“For work, yes”

Merrick hummed, narrowing his eyes “What do you do for a living, my Lord? If you don’t mind me asking”

“Ah, I worked for several Ladies and Lords from different courts around the world” The man smiled “Some easier to work with than others”

“I see,” The captain nodded “Is that where…?” He was pointing to the scar that ran down the mysterious man’s left eye, a mark he seldom saw in travelers.

“This? Got it from an altercation at The Vail. A misunderstanding, you see, people from The Vail are… not as trustworthy as one might think”

The charming smile that man wore could convince anyone of his lies as the captain clearly believed him.

“Haven’t heard from people from The Vail in a while”

“Really?”

“Yes, the last conversation I had with someone with a connection from that place was a Princess and her new husband,” The captain said, trying to sound as vague as possible for the stranger that unbeknown to him was already aware of the story “I heard nothing but good things about their King”

“You might be surprised” The man muttered under his breath “You said you were going to King Alex’s court once we get there, is that correct?”

The captain nodded “King Alex is an old friend, and he requested an audience.”

“Would it be okay if I come along?” The man asked “I want to present my loyalty and service to the crown and I believe it would be comforting to do it in the presence of such a nice acquaintance”

“I don’t see why not. Could you remind me of your name, my Lord? That way I can let the King know we’re on our way”

“Jefferson,” The man said “Bernard Jefferson”

And just like that and with a simple but elaborated lie, the crow’s plan started to take flight.

*

*

tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @conversecake @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @fakebetch9694 @5sos-imagine @SunflowerAngel2123 @perfectnouis @in-superbloom @lukeisstillapenguin @sadcupofcoffee @superstarmarvel @personalmuyverypersonal @cnco.angels @vtte @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @lolzkye @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimepogue @wontlastimokwiththat @ttinahood @lukespitinmymouth @perfectnouis @cncoangelss @darrensos @whywontyoulovemecami @itwouldburnupintheatmosphere-de @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico @multistann @averageantichrist @a-darneddarling @tpwkcth @f-mu @kindahumanbutalsoinsane @floweronyourskin @ihavenoideawhattodowithyou @bittersweetb4by @aria-grace-scott @thestarsandtheircoffee @bvbygxrl @luisa180206 @xxxlaura

[hockeywhhores]

under the stars- t. konecny

travis konecny x f!reader 

warnings~ smut, swearing, alcohol consumption

summary~ travis fucked up, but he is going to make it better. 

genre~ angst to fluff

word count~ 2.4k

valentine’s week masterlist

main masterlist 

Everyone knew of Travis and his playboy reputation. You especially knew. Everytime you were about to go exclusive with him, suddenly he was interested in someone else. As much as Nolan loved Travis; Nolan couldn’t let you live like that. Nolan could see how hurt you were, when Travis had his arms wrapped around another girl. He advised you to just let Travis go, but something in you wouldn’t let that happen. When you were finally able to forget about Travis and his compelling ways, he was at your door begging for another chance. You always ended up giving him another chance.

Want to go stargazing with me? Travis texted you at one am. You knew you should say no, but you couldn’t ever seem to say no.

Sure you texted back keeping it simple.

I’ll pick you up in 10 he had texted back after a minute.

ok

You jumped out of bed and changed from your pajamas to some leggings and a sweatshirt that probably belonged to Travis is a previous lifetime. Waiting patiently on your couch, you noticed his headlights turn into your driveway. Before he even had a chance to text you, you were out the door with your bag. You had brought a blanket, water bottle, and some snacks to share.

Good morning!” you chirped as you climbed into his truck. “Your coach is not going to like you being out at 1 am.”

“Hopefully, he never finds out. Are you going to tell him, Sweetheart?” Travis’ eye briefly met yours, before going back to the road.

“My lips are sealed.” you faked zipping up your lips by running your pinched fingers along your mouth. Travis just chuckled and grabbed your hand with the one that wasn’t on the steering wheel.

“What have you been up to?” Trvais asked when he finally found a place to park.

“Just the same old stuff.” you shook off the question. You got out the truck, and laid your blanket out in the bed of the truck. The fall air was cool, and the stars were shining bright. They looked like diamonds. Travis pulled you into him, as you both just stared at the sky.

“Everytime I see you, I’m blown away by your beauty.” Travis whispered into your ear, as he hugged you closer.

“I bet you are.” you dismissed him. Sinking into his body. It’s always like this, but you were going to savor the good moments.

“I really am.” Travis concluded and you decided not to answer. He sat up and jumped out of your makeshift bed. You looked up at him confused when he took your hands, and tried to pull you out as well.

“What the hell are you doing, Travis?” you asked, confused.

“Come dance with me.” he simply said, as if he did this all the time. In reality Travis never wanted to dance with you. He barely wanted to show he knew you in public. Nevertheless, you got out the truck and let him sway you under the stars. Travis was staring at you, but you just kept your head tucked on his shoulder. Suddenly he started kissing your neck and you knew what he wanted. He only called you to be his booty call. You should’ve known. Travis was now kissing up your jaw, and found your sweet spot making you gasp out.

“Wanna take this to the backseat?” Travis asked, looking into your eyes, and you nodded. You couldn’t say no to him. He was your kryptonite. He opened the door for you, and you climbed in. You started taking off your shirt for him, and he was taking off his jeans. You hadn’t worn a bra, and you saw the hunger grow in his eyes when he noticed. “You are gorgeous.” he mumbled out as he started kissing your breasts. His tongue was working on your left nipple, as his fingers were playing with your right nipple. You were a moaning mess. You saw him growing in his boxers, and you were ready for him. He knew your body was ready for him, but he wanted to play with you for a little while longer.

“Travis I want your dick.” you moaned out.

“Patience, Sweetheart.” Travis grumbled out, but moved to take off your leggings. He felt all the blood rush to his dick, when he saw you red thong. He pulled it off of you as fast as he could in the backseat of a truck. Then he got his boxers off, and rolled on the condom that was in his jean pocket. “You are so wet for me.” Travis stated the obvious as his finger found your pussy. You were bucking your hips into his finger wanting more friction. “I told you to be patient.” Travis reminded you as he pushed your hips back down.

“Please, Travis, give me more.” you whined out into the heavy air. Without warning, Travis slammed his penis into you. Stretching you in a way, no one else has. “Travis! Fuck!” you yelled out.

“You take my dick so well, Princess.” Travis praised you. “Do you like taking my dick?”

“Yes! Yes! I love taking your dick!” you were a hot mess, and he loved seeing you like this. Your hair was big and you were falling apart under him. Travis was slamming into you so hard you could feel the truck moving back and forth.

“Look how hot you are. Taking me so well.” Travis kept praising you as you were both getting sweaty.

“I’m going to cum.” you warned, and when Travis heard that his fingers went straight to your clit. He was pinching it and rolling it, getting you screaming even louder. You tightened around him, and he helped you through your orgaism. You were panting, but Travis was still chasing his high.

“I’m getting close. You are doing so well, Sweetheart.” Travis admitted, and you mustered enough strength to tighten around him. That did it for him, and he exploded into the condom. He pulled out of you, and tied off the condom throwing in an old grocery sack he used as a trash bag. “That was amazing.” He praised you one lat time.

“Yeah, it was.” you agreed with him. You promptly start getting dressed again. you didn’t know how much longer you could do this. You were Travis’ secret booty call. That was a tough pill for you to swallow. “Do you even want to be in a relationship with me?” you quietly asked, nervously.

“Oh come on,” Travis scoffed out, “Don’t ruin the moment.” you stated quiet for a couple minutes as Travis was still getting his head in order from the mind-boggling orgaism you gave him.

“Can you take me home?” you asked even quieter. He obviously only wanted sex from you, and you needed to get out of the car before you started crying.

“y/n, don’t do this.” Travis signed.

“Just take me home, Travis. Please.” you pleaded with him, and he huffed as he got himself dressed. You were packing up the back of the truck. He was in the driver's seat when you got back into the truck.  

The car ride back to your house was awkward. The radio was the only thing to be heard. When you got home you broke down. How could you be so foolish to think he wanted something from you? You ended up crying yourself to sleep, and slept most of the next day away. You didn’t even bother to try and catch the game on TV, but knew they won when Nolan texted you asking for you to come out with the team. You didn’t want to see Travis, but you wanted to find someone else to fill the void he left.

You got into your best outfit, and did your hair and makeup. You tried telling yourself that you weren’t doing this for Travis, but even you didn’t quite believe it. Nolan picked you up, on his way to the bar.

“How are you?” Nolan asked as soon as you got into the car.

“I’m doing fine.” you stated, but Nolan gave you a look. He didn’t even believe you. “I’m fine, Nolan.” you said again with more force in your voice, and Nolan let the conversion go.  

“Travis had been a wreck. Showing up to practice late and tired, almost got himself scratched.” Nolan quietly said.

“I don’t care.” you lied. You really did care about Travis. That's why you had put up with his fuckboy attitude for as long as you did.

“You do.” Nolan stated the obvious, “Travis is just scared of commitment. He really does love you. He’s just worried about fucking it up.”

“He fucked it up, even if he didn’t mean to.” you stated. “But tonight I am going to be leaving with someone that isn’t Travis.”

You and Nolan had made it to the bar, where the rest of the guys were. You went straight to the bar, before even looking at them. When your eyes found Travis, you were surprised to find his arms empty. He wasn’t flirting with anyone, which was weird for him. He shyly waved to you, and you turned back to the bar not wanting to talk to him. He got the hint and left you alone for most of the night.

The air was too stuffy, and you needed a break from everything. You were leaning against the outside wall. “Hey, you okay?” when you turned your head to the side and found Carter Hart, the rookie goaltender.

“I think so.” you mumbled out.

“Bars not your thing?” Carter asked, and you scoffed out a laugh.

“You could say that,” you replied, “It’s proving to be increasingly difficult to avoid someone.”

“So your hiding?” Carter clarified.

“I guess I am.” you concluded, and just then Travis walked out the door, with no girl in his arms. “Fuck. Speaking of the devil.” you mumbled.

“Oh shit. You’re Konecny’s girl?” Carter asked.

“I am not Konecny’s girl.” you clarified. You saw the hurt that flashed in Travis’ eyes, but decided he was worthy of feeling that pain.

“Can I talk to you, y/n?” Travis asked, “Alone.” Travis waved off Carter. Carter left with no problem, and you cursed under your breath.

“What do you want, Konecny?” you sharply asked him.

“I want to ask for your forgiveness. I fucked up. Really badly. I was leading you on, and that was unfair of me. I truly do love you. I’m just not that good at showing it.” Travis pleaded with you. You glared up at him, but you saw the sadness in his eyes, and knew he was telling the truth.

“You really hurt me.” you confessed with tears in your eyes.

“I know. Please let me make it up to you.” Travis' eyes were also glossy. You just nodded, and his face exploded into a smile. “y/n l/n will you please go on a date with me?” Travis asked you.

“Travis Konecny, I would love to go on a date with you.” you smiled, when his smile got even bigger, which you didn’t even know was possible. With the light music coming from the bar, Travis dragged you off the wall and swayed with you under the stars. Just like he did a couple days ago, but this time it was in public. Travis leaned down to kiss you, and the kiss was sweet. He barely tasted like alcohol, which made you more confident. You now knew for sure that was him talking, not the alcohol. When he pulled back, he just let your forehead rest on each other.

Travis picked you up the next Friday night for your date. He was dressed up in a suit you’ve never seen him wear, making you think he went out and bought it. You had on a red dress, and did your hair and makeup. You felt beautiful and confident. Travis knocked on your front door, and led you to his truck. Then he opened the door for you helping you up into it. Everything was going great. He even let you play your music from the aux cord.

The restaurant he took you to was nothing less than fancy. There was chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, and there were candles on the table. Everything was so romantic. You insisted on paying for your meal, but Travis was having none of that. He insisted that it would just be ungentlemanlike to let you pay, and you rolled your eyes.

After dinner, Travis asked if he could blind fold you. You were skeptical, but trusted him. He was driving through winding paths, and after what felt like ten minutes, Travis stopped the truck. He killed the engine, and opened your door for you. When he had you take off the blindfold, he had his arm wrapped around your waist. “This is where I go to just get away from everything.” he explained. Travis had taken you to his hiding spot. The spot was up on a hill, and overlooked Philly. All the lights were shining. When you looked over at Travis you found him already looking at you.

“It's beautiful.” you mumbled.

“Yeah it is.” He agreed but didn’t even look away from you. You stood on your tiptoes, and he leaned down to let your lips meet in a kiss. After the kiss, Travis got a blanket that was in his backseat, and laid it out on the ground. He sat down and you followed suit. He held you as he told you stories about his family and hockey teammates. Travis was letting you in, and you couldn’t be happier.

“I love you, Travis Konecny.” you interrupted his story, about something Nolan had done on their most recent road trip.

“I love you too, y/n l/n.” Travis said back. Leaning down to kiss you again. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.” you said. As you laid under the stars, you couldn’t help but fall even more in love with Travis Konecny, and he couldn’t help but fall more in love with you.

finished

[imagine-docx]

interested.

Summary: Being best friends with Bucky, he always thinks you’re trying to get with Steve, when in reality, that is far from the truth. [college!chubby!]

Warnings: Swearing.

A/N: helloooo, i know i have been practically dead. but post secondary really ain’t it chief. here’s a small chub buck fic before i go back into the void that is my 3 hour online zoom lectures. - amanda 💛

»»————-　★　————-««

First year religion, with Professor Hill was quite possibly the most boring class to exist, but hey, that’s how you met Bucky Barnes. First year religion was a mandatory course that you had to take for psychology, and Bucky had to take for history. During the first lecture Prof Hill made you turn to the person next to you and discuss ideas, which happened to be Bucky. 

The two of you felt so comfortable with each other, that you were always sitting next to each other during lectures, and eventually becoming the bestest of friends. To the point where you two spent breaks together, Friday nights together, hell he even came to a few of your classes, even though he shouldn’t be there as he wasn’t enrolled in them. 

Even Bucky was surprised at this close friendship. He always had the small thought in the back of his mind saying, “She’s just using you for an easy ninety. Once the semester is over, she’s gone.” But to his surprise, here you were in your fourth year, still as strong as ever. 

He could pinpoint the moment he realized he was in love with his best friend. 

Second year, it was a random party that Thor was holding around early November. You were wearing a basic grey long sleeved shirt, some dark blue ripped jeans, and a pair of heels. You were dancing with Nat and Wanda, and he felt the switch in him flip, and he saw you in an affectionate way.

Needless to say, he left the party and went through a crisis at two am in the back of an Uber, at his new realization. 

Since that day, he kept his feelings to himself. Not even telling his best friend Steve about the feelings he harboured towards you. 

He always felt insecure whenever he was around you. You were always glowing, even when you had no makeup on and were in sweats on the days you had 9 am lectures. You were always this ball of sunshine that anyone would be glad to hang out with. But here he was, stomach protruding over the top of his jeans, sweaters used to hide how thick his arms actually were, and all around embarrassed about the way he looks. You could never possibly like someone like him back.

»»————-　★　————-««

It was the rare Friday night, where the two of you couldn’t meet because you had a gender studies essay to write, and he had an essay due for ancient civilizations. But, of course, the two of you were on FaceTime.

“You going to Thor’s party tomorrow?” He asked, typing in his name and student number.

“Depends, I still have three readings and a discussion post over my head for Drax.” You responded, finishing up the last sentence.

“You should come, you’ve been pulling essays out of your ass since the semester started. You need to have some fun,” Bucky said, studying your face as you yawned.

“Perks of being a social science major,” you responded, making slight adjustments to your essay.

“Please?” He begged, “I need my best friend there.”

“We will see.”

»»————-　★　————-««

God, three years later, and he still didn’t understand how you pulled off every look possible. Last night you were in one of his hoodies, hair greased, and no makeup on. Today you were pulling off a slightly oversized band tee, some ripped jeans, hairstyled and effortless makeup.

“Didn’t expect you to be around here, thought Drax owned you tonight” Bucky jokes.

“Thought about it. But a certain Brooklyn boy talked me into coming. There’s always pulling an all nighter tomorrow night,” you said, taking a drink from your cup.

“Glad to know I am useful.”

The two of you spent a good chunk of time talking by the bar. The two of you didn’t stop until Sam pulled him away for some beer pong. 

You debated going over to your friend group, but from where you were, it looked like they were wasted out of their minds. And talking to them will probably result in them drunkenly saying that you should fess up and admit your crush to Bucky. And knowing your exact luck, he would be around, and that would be a hard hole to dig yourself out of. 

You decided that you were gonna get some peace in the kitchen. You were sitting on one of the counters, hearing drunken screams, while scrolling through Instagram. 

“You know, it would be easy to tell him how you feel,” you look up to match the voice to the person, only to see Steve.

“And I am assuming Nat did some drunk mumbling to you,” you mumbled, looking down into your cup.

“Or anyone with eyes could see the way the two of you look at each other,” Steve said, leaning against the fridge next to the counter you sat on.

You let out a sigh, “He doesn’t see me in that way. I’m just his best friend.”

“He looks at you like you hung every single star in this galaxy. I should know, I was told I look like that when I look at Nat.”

You laughed and punched him in the bicep, “At least the loverboy admits it.”

Bucky was looking for you, passing by the kitchen he saw that you and Steve were smiling, laughing and talking. He never realized how much of a couple the two of you looked like. Absolutely perfect for each other.

He felt nauseous and decided to head home. Of course you wouldn’t like him, you liked guys who were fit, like Steve. An absolute sweetheart, like Steve. Someone who could care for you, like Steve. Steve.

»»————-　★　————-««

The next morning, he saw that you were calling and kept the talking to a minimum, saying he didn’t feel good and hung up.

He needed to get his feelings in check before he exploded. 

From then on, he always scheduled stuff with Steve too. You deserved it.

You deserved happiness, even if it was with Steve and not him. 

He would make coffee dates on campus, and never show up. Or invite you for movie night at the apartment, and at the absolute last second ‘have his shift extended’ at work.

»»————-　★　————-««

At some point, he just started blatantly ignoring you. From phone calls, to texts, to even practically running away from you.

The last straw for you was the day your sociology professor let you go early for the day. And you were already feeling under the weather, so you just decided to head back to your dorm, and spend the rest of your day taking it easy. 

While you were walking down the tunnel from your class, you saw an all familiar head of hair walking in the opposite direction. You shouted his name several times, and practically ran after him. And you knew he saw and heard you, but continued to walk away from you.

You finally stopped, realization hitting you. He doesn’t like you anymore, and you don’t know what you did. You took a deep breath, turned around and walked back to your dorm.

You sat on your bed, confused as to what the fuck you did to him for him to do this. At that point, you gave him the space he wanted. You stopped texting him, calling him, even going over to his apartment.

»»————-　★　————-««

What caused Bucky to do all of this? Two days prior, he finished his contemporary civilizations class and was on his way to the student centre to get something to eat before his colonial encounters class. 

When he walked into the centre, he was greeted with you and Steve sitting at a table, laughing about something, while drinking bubble tea. 

He felt something stab him in the chest. It’s supposed to be him. He’s supposed to be the one taking you out for bubble tea. He’s supposed to be the one making you laugh like that.

It was then he realized, he didn’t set up this meeting. He drew the conclusion, that he pushed the two of you closer together, and that neither of them wanted him to know.

He knew he was acting childish. But he didn’t care.

»»————-　★　————-««

Since the encounter after your sociology class, you haven’t messaged him, called him, or even made the effort to see him. It was starting to bother him. He felt empty.

He missed the random texts he would get from you about something stupid in your readings. Or the ‘I accidentally watched too much Netflix, and my discussion post is due in an hour and I have NOTHING’ texts. Or you randomly calling in the middle of the night asking him if he wanted to meet up for milkshakes. 

All he would see was Instagram stories or posts of you. Whether it was you at a party getting wasted with your friends, or if it was you being cozy and studying, or you and your friends doing late night stupidity. He missed having you around.

Every single thought he has, would be of you. What were you doing? Who were you hanging out with? Did you get enough sleep? Did you eat anything for the day?

He eventually decided to start essays early just so his thoughts weren’t fogged by you.

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky was wrapping up his notes on his latest reading. As he closed his textbook, he felt something collide with the back of his head. He turned around to see Steve sitting on his bed. “What?”

“Why are you ignoring her?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky turned back around.

“You damn well know what I am talking about. So, answer the question, why are you ignoring her?” Steve asked.

“Why do you care? That’s your girlfriend.” Bucky seethed. 

A laugh erupted from Steve, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Then why do the two of you act like it.” He muttered.

“Because she’s giving me pointers on asking out Nat,” he responded, “I bet you feel so stupid.”

Bucky turned back around in shock, “Wait, you’re not dating her?”

“Never was. It’s cute seeing how jealous you are,” Steve said, getting up, “Go get your girl.”

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky has never sprinted out of his apartment so fast. He was about to walk up the stairs leading to your dorm, when he was about to open the door, the door opened revealing Carol. “Oh hey Buck. What are you doing here? You know she moved out like last month right?” she asked.

He never realized that you left the dorms, hell he didn’t even know where you were now. “Oh yeah, force of habit.” He nervously laughed.

“Anyways, I’m late for my date. Tell her I said hi!” She said walking off.

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky returned to the apartment and was pacing around. He didn’t know where you could have gone. Nat and Wanda had no space, so you wouldn’t be there. Your parents were way too far out, and you wouldn’t want to commute all the way back. His mind was running through possibilities. 

Steve and Sam were just looking on at the spiral that was occurring in front of them. “Does he…?” Sam asked.

“Nope.” Steve responded.

“Ah.” Sam responded.

“Where could she have gone though? I don’t get it.” Bucky said to himself. 

“Can I tell him?” Steve asked.

“Nah.” Sam said.

“Wait, you guys know where she is? Why don’t you tell me?” Bucky said with despair laced in his voice. 

Sam sighed, “Nat and Wanda.”

And with that Bucky practically sprinted out the door. 

»»————-　★　————-««

Wanda and Nat were out for the night, leaving you in the living room finishing up your essay for sociology. Wrapping it up, you slapped the submit button, and headed for the shower.

Upon getting out and changing into some sweatpants and hoodie, you were contemplating what you wanted to eat. Until you heard a knock on the door, confused, you opened it to Bucky, you were about to close it but he managed to let out a, “Can I talk to you?”

You were about to say, “No.”

But once you heard his voice cracked, when he said, “Please,” your heart broke, and accepted talking to him.

»»————-　★　————-««

The two of you sat on top of the building overlooking the city. Bucky was looking at the view of the city, whereas, you were sitting on the bench. 

He took note that you were shivering, and he shrugged off his jacket, wrapping you up in it. You were trying to shrug it off, when he said, “You’re gonna get sick.” You accepted that he was probably gonna tie you up in it so you don’t take it off, so you kept it on.

“So why did you ignore me?” You said, looking down at your feet.

“I thought you were dating Steve, and I got jealous. I know I pushed the two of you together, but I still couldn’t bear the thought of him being the one dating you.” He muttered, taking a seat next to you.

“Wait, you were jealous? Why?” You asked, confusion laced your voice.

“I really like you, god I’ve liked you for so long and you deserve someone better than me. Someone who’s fitter, someone who’s better looking, someone you would want to be seen with.” He said, looking down at his feet, hair falling into his face.

You pushed the hair out of his face, “No. I deserve someone who is willing to pick me up for burgers and milkshakes at 3 am. I deserve someone who is willing to drop anything they're doing to come and spend time with me. I deserve someone who would respond to my psych readings, even though they aren’t in my program. I deserve you.”

“You like me?” Bucky stammered.

“Wasn’t it obvious?” You asked. “I thought me calling you at three am because I missed you was obvious.

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer, kissed your hair before muttering an, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m only accepting your apology under one condition,” you said.

He looked at you with the biggest eyes ever. Ready to do anything you even asked for. “Get bubble tea with me?” You asked.

“How about tomorrow we take a trip out of the city, to a zoo or aquarium, and bubble tea?” He said with pleading eyes.

“Only if it’s a date,” you said smiling at him.

“Anything for you.” he said, finally leaning into kiss you.

[juniorgman187]

Never Enough (Spencer Reid Drabble)

Summary: Ever wondered what Garcia wrote on that sticky note in the series finale? Read here to find out. When Reader, the new technical analyst, feels out of place at a party, Penelope’s sticky note and Reid’s kind words do just the trick.

A/N: This is a comfort piece for me, someone very introverted who never seems to do well in social gatherings. So this is dedicated to anyone who’s ever felt like they didn’t belong. You are loved. Couple: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Category: Fluff, Drabble Content Warning: Fear of exclusion, loneliness Word Count: 2.4k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

All my life, all I’d ever wanted was to be a social butterfly. Their lives seemed so easy. People would naturally flock to them, what with their charisma, their confidence, their natural gift of being conversational.

I envied them for the sole reason that I was nothing like them, not in the slightest.

It wasn’t easy for me to keep a conversation going, even if I was trying my very hardest, which was often the case. I could never seem to commandeer the room in the way that someone extroverted could, and it was especially hard sometimes to feel a part of everyone.

It would be too easy to say I was invisible. Instead, I felt painfully visible, and entirely ignored.

Everyone could see my shyness peeking through, everyone could see how alienated I’d become, everyone could see my despondence, and yet no one bothered to change it.

No one cared.

My excruciating awkwardness had reached an all-time high at Krystall’s birthday party.

Agent Rossi was so keen on inviting me, and I was honored to go since it’d be my first bonding experience with the team outside of work. I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to grow closer to them, otherwise, I’d run the risk of isolating myself even more. As if being brought in as the BAU’s new technical analyst to replace Penelope Garcia wasn’t enough of a reason for them to doubt, despise, and disrespect me, I was the introvert who had a hard time making friends - unlike my predecessor, who’ve I heard could make friends like nobody’s business. I knew I could never fill her shoes, much less fill the glaring void she created when she left, but still, I maintained my bright-eyes in hopes that I’d be enough for them, anyway. I was all too eager to get to know everyone as more than just my coworkers, with one exception.

Dr. Reid maintained an arm’s length distance from me at all times, and at first, I understood. I even empathized with him.

Besides SSA Morgan and SSA Hotchner, the only other person that he’d work the longest with was Penelope, and now she was gone, too, but the longer his rejection of me lasted, the more I was curious what he truly had against me, and the more I was less interested in changing that. Why would I work tirelessly at mending this broken friendship, if he wasn’t willing to meet me halfway?

I was more shocked that he, of all people, would be the most displeased with my arrival. When Agent Rossi replaced Agent Gideon, from what I heard, the transition wasn’t as rocky as mine. Dr. Reid was overjoyed to be working with him and to discuss all his books. When Jordan Todd, and eventually Ashley Seaver, took Agent Jareau’s place momentarily, he was happy to be working with them. When Alex Blake and Kate Callahan came in after Emily Prentiss, he welcomed them with open arms. So what was it about me that was so abhorrent to him?

I never outright asked, mainly because I feared confrontation and I also had no way of knowing if my curiosity would make the situation worse or better. But I should’ve. I should’ve marched right up to him and asked, “What’s your problem?”

Somehow, though, I finally got up the courage to do so tonight.

I watched as the team laughed at one of Rossi’s anecdotes, meanwhile, the inside jokes flew over my head, hindering that bonding experience I was so sure I’d get by coming here. So I stepped inside the house, wandering into a spare room, knowing I wouldn’t be missed.

I thought I’d only be there for a moment to get some “fresh air” even though I’d actually migrated from the outside to the inside, where there’d arguably be less fresh air, but that’d be my excuse if anyone came in. But I was forced to stay longer in the office when it finally happened.

I finally reached my breaking point.

It was building up all night. It started when I first stepped into the house. My confidence faltered almost immediately when I accidentally stepped on Rossi’s Italian leather dress shoe as I went to greet him. He told me not to worry, but of course, I did just the opposite. It was a minor bump in the road, something so minute, but still, it weighed on me thinking about how embarrassing it was that I dirtied something of his that everyone recognized as valuable.

My shame didn’t stop there. As I was talking with Krystall, there were many periods of awkward silence that I couldn’t manage to fill with words, so we each sipped at our wine until one of us would try to pick up the conversation. What’s worse was that we each knew the silence was suffocating, and I could tell we were both thinking of things to say to keep the conversation going, and yet, nothing worth saying came to mind.

And worst of all was when Penelope Garcia finally arrived at the party. Don’t misunderstand me - it wasn’t the worst part of all because she was bad - no, she was lovely. She gave me a welcome present - a Beanie Baby to put on my desk, evocative of her own style of decor, and I loved her for it, which made me hate her all the more.

Rossi’s house livened up when she came. Everyone flocked to greet her, laughter erupted and ricocheted off Rossi’s high ceilings. They were positively elated by her presence, truly happy. Which was the first time I’d ever seen them that way because frankly, they were never that happy with me.

It was a painful reminder that I could never bring what she brought to the team, and I could never be as good as her. And the general consensus I reached, sitting in Rossi’s office all alone with my glass of wine, was the same one I’d known for years now - I’m not enough.

And I will never be enough.

I hadn’t realized I was crying until a tear cascaded down my cheek, dripping right under my nose, forcing me to audibly sniffle it away. Using the sleeve of my cardigan, I desperately tried to wipe away the tears faster than they were spilling out, but it just wasn’t possible. In fact, the coarse fabric of my cardigan rubbing against my cheeks only made them redder, making the fact that I was unwell that much more obvious.

The sound of the doorknob turning sent me into overdrive, automatically engaging me into turning around and facing the wall so that whoever was coming in wouldn’t find me in the state that I was in. I sniffled a great big sniffle and fanned my face to dry it of any moisture that my silent sobs could’ve left.

“Sorry, Rossi, I was just getting some fresh air and I thought I’d check out your book collectio-”

When I turned around, Rossi wasn’t standing there as I’d assumed.

In fact, the person standing there was the last person I thought it’d be.

“Dr. Reid?”

He was lingering in the doorway, studying my face, to which I instantly preventing from continuing on any further by cowering my head and looking away.

“What are you doing here?” My voice had taken a tone of anger that I didn’t anticipate to be there originally.

“Are you okay?”

To my surprise, his question seemed sincere, but I couldn’t truly believe it was.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just allergies from being outside for so long. The pollen and stuff, you know?” I rambled nervously.

“Oh, really? Are you allergic to the grass?” He asked in a joking manner, knowing I was lying but still asking so that he’d have the satisfaction of getting to see me try and work my way out of the situation.

“Yes, I am actually. The most common outdoor allergy triggers are trees, grass, weed pollen, mold spores, dust mites, cockroaches, and cat, dog, and rodent dander. Don’t you know this? After all, you’re the one with the IQ of 187 here, not me.” I tried to joke to lighten up the room’s heaviness, but clearly, it didn’t work.

By this time, I’d already turned back to face the wall, so Reid surely couldn’t see me, but I heard the door click shut behind me, and a wave of anxiety permeated my soul.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

I scoffed at his question, almost hitting him back with an “As if you care.” But I decided against it in an effort to preserve what little repose we had left between us.

“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” He sounded like he was begging - like he was practically willing to go on his hands and knees to get me to answer, but all I could focus on was the feeling of his hot breath ghosting over my neck.

Goosebumps rose on my skins once he put his warm hand on my cold shoulder, which was bare from the absence of my cardigan and where it had slipped down to my elbow.

I flinched at the sensation, causing him to recoil.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” He quickly apologized, regret filling his eyes. “Um, you look nice by the way. I like the way you did your hair. A-and your dress. It looks nice.”

Not even giving a chance to respond to his compliment, I asked again, “Why are you here?” Pressing him to get the point faster before I had a chance to react at another one of his physical advances.

“I saw you leave the backyard and I thought I should check on you.”

“Well, you’ve checked on me, so you can go back now.” I didn’t miss a beat when responding, fooling him into thinking that I didn’t catch his words and their intentions.

“I just want to talk.” He replied, finally answering my question from before.

“Okay. Let’s talk.”

He took a seat on a chaise lounge sofa while I stayed standing by the bookcase in preparation for a quick escape if need be.

“I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you away. That wasn’t fair of me.”

Although I hadn’t expected him to apologize, I wasn’t going to be misled and naively accept his apology with no reservations.

“Why did you do it? And for so long?”

“I was angry. I didn’t want another person in my life that I cared about to walk away, so I thought maybe if I made you feel unwelcome, you wouldn’t want to stay. And she’d come back.”

It hurt to say, but at least I knew he was being honest.

“I accept your apology, but it’s not okay.”

“I know that.”

“Okay, are we good now? We’ve talked, so,” My hand gestured toward the door, suggesting he should leave, but he didn’t comply.

“I’m not leaving.”

“And why not?” The wine glass in my hand nearly shattered at the way my hand wrapped around it since its presence hindered me from being able to actually clench my fists.

“I didn’t come here to apologize, even though I should’ve sooner. But I came here because I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Like you care.” I chuckled mirthlessly.

“I do care.”

I gave in, not wanting to fight him any longer, otherwise, I might cry some more from the altercation.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” He shook his head. “I know you’re not fine. What’s really wrong, Y/N?”

I looked away immediately from his gaze, trying to hide the sheen that was inevitably coating my eyes from the presence of tears, but he would’ve known I was crying the minute I used the cuff of my cardigan to wipe under my nose again.

“I just . . . I feel so unconnected,” I whispered, the pain of my words stealing my volume. “I don’t fit in. And I’ve never fit in before, but I actually thought this might be my chance.”

“It still is. Just come back outside.”

“You don’t get it!”

“What don’t I get?”

“I just needed to take a moment to compose myself so I wouldn’t ruin the energy of the room. And I’d really like to do that alone, okay?”

“I know you don’t want me to go.”

“What?”

“You’re testing me to see if I’ll stay.”

“No, I’m not.”

“So you’re saying that if I left right now, you wouldn’t regret letting me walk away?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“I know you’re lying to me.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are. I know what it looks like when you lie. Wanna know how I know?”

I entertained his question out of pure frustration “How?”

“Because I pay attention to you. I see your mannerisms. I notice everything. Do you think I haven’t picked up on how you crack your knuckles when you’re nervous? Or how your stutter goes away when you talk about technology? Or how your fists clench, like how you’re doing right now?”

My eyes flickered to my fist that was wrapped so tightly around the glass, my knuckles were white. Out of shame, I loosened my grip.

“I pay attention because I care. And I’m sorry that I made you ever believe that I didn’t. What you do, and say, and think - it’s important. So no, I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here to give you the attention you deserve.” He sighed with a breath of relief. “I care more about you than whatever’s happening out there.”

And slowly, then all at once, that barrier between us broke down.

“I care about you. We all do. And when you’re ready, we can walk back out there together so that you can see for yourself just how much we care.”

. . . That night, I made nine more friends.

And the day we came back to work, with my Beanie Baby in hand, I rearranged my desk.

A folded up sticky note fell out from between two tables. I picked it up, recognizing the handwriting instantly.

Penelope Garcia.

Even when the laughter always seems to come from the other room and the world seems busy as it carries on without you, may you know this to be true. No matter who or what made you feel invisible, unworthy, unloved, or unseen, in this ever-moving world, there is still a place for you. And you are exactly in the place where you are meant to be.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

quote by morgan harper nichols

[stormykatie]

I did the dishes tonight while humming a Taylor Swift song. I know it's nothing huge and that some of you may be raising an eyebrow. 'She did the dishes tonight and she's writing about it. As if we care!'. Yes, that's the thing. I know you won't care. Not a bit. But I am writing about it in the same enthusiasm as you writing about your cat, that walk you took in the woods with the friend you secretly love, your dreams, your bucket list, the tasks that you need to accomplish, your pet peeves. 

Eight months ago, I wouldn't have minded the mountain of plates and mugs piled in the sink. I would lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and be somber. I would imagine myself wandering in an unknown forest. And that's it. That's all I could do: Imagine. I would fall asleep and forget about the bath I was running at the tub. I would wake to a drenched bathroom floor, clean off the mess and lie awake until 5 am. An arduous battle would commence between me and my mind. I would lose as I always do. Then I would go back to bed.

At 9 am, I would be too lethargic to get up. My cellphone would ring and the name on the screen would make me smile. Him-the only string that ties me to sanity. We would talk for a while, about everything and nothing. He would tell me about how sound he has slept and I would lie. I would try to make my nightmares seem like beautiful dreams that stole away my sense of reality for a night. I would make a cup of coffee and forget about breakfast. The conversation would become romantic, the kind that I indulge myself into so I could believe life is still worth living. That the sweet nothings worth every pain.

I would sit in my living room, try to make out the shadows prancing like restless sojourners from another lifetime. They would remind me about how I don't fit in this era and I would fall deeper into melancholy. This time, the heaviness would force me to mount the stairs like a wounded animal. I would lock myself inside my room, turn the music really loud so I could drown my heart, my emptiness, my exhaustion. I would cry a little. The effort would drain me. So I would lie on the floor, scroll endlessly on my phone. I would try to deny that I am depressed. I would try to deny that I exist.

When the inspiration strikes, I would type a poem. Another poem for me, for him, for someone I do not know but is feeling the same pain. I would imagine him somewhere in the wilderness, gasping for air as he sinks in his own misery. The poem will grow longer than intended as words gush out in a long queue of ghosts demanding to be inked for posterity. I would not hold anything back. I would type until my fingers become as numb as my barely beating heart. I would kiss my fingers and beg for forgiveness. Then my eyes would wander off to the window, lose my concentration into the pouring rain, and I would cry again.

Eight months, I was hiding in the void. If I came out at all, it was for me to immerse myself in the crowd so I could remember how it feels to be alive. Eight months, I never bothered to clean the mess in my dreary apartment. The dusty furniture, the cobwebs, the half torn curtains became my only company and they watched me suffer series of breakdowns. The bathroom witnessed how I struggled against taking my own life. The cold dinner table heard issues I refused to discuss with anyone. The bedroom watched me intoxicate myself as sleep became evanescent. Alcohol became my confidant. It became my lithium. And the window pane? It knows all of my secret longings. It stood by me as I waited for someone, anyone to drop by and perhaps, stop me from cutting my wrist.

Eight months, I never thought of doing anything normal. Eight months, I forgot I was human. Eight months, the sink resembled my life—disorganized, filthy, hideous and despairingly lacked future. Eight months, I stretched myself too thin, I broke like a thread. Eight months, I was luring death to take me. Eight months, I never did the dishes.

And so tonight, I want to write about how I stood before the sink, slowly picked up the sponge as Cardigan filled the background. And I hummed and hummed until the dishes were clean. It may be nonsensical to you, but to me, it was huge. It was me crawling my way back to redemption. It was me relearning forgiveness. It was me giving life a second chance.

It was me embracing FREEDOM!

-katie,

12th of June 2021, 18:25

Image: https://pin.it/6bVgzsz