#i am back in tomarry fandom help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

childotkw · 5 years ago

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This has been bothering for a while and idk who to ask but you, since you've been open about your real identity/original works - I've been toying with the idea of writing fanfiction, and it's been nagging at me horribly that the tomarry/harrymort fandom is a super controversial pairing, I guess I'm paranoid but I wanted advice on how you deal with the alignment of your fanfic/published works? I want to try publishing too and, the idea it could be connected to my fanfic interests scares me T_T

Hmm, I completely relate to this, darling.

Firstly, thanks for asking. This is a very intricate topic, but I will try to explain my views on it as best I can.

So. Writing controversial pairings is always going to be a minefield. In fandoms it is relatively safe to say what you ship and not face any backlash – depending on which circles you frequent and how determined you are to keep your fandom experience away from those select few that start shit. Finding likeminded people in the bubble of fanfiction is pretty easy too.

But in the big wild world, surrounded by people who haven’t spent years of their lives entrenched in fanfiction and fandom-culture – it’s scary. There isn’t that undercurrent of tolerance, as many people do find out when they admit to ships they enjoy or a character they like, and are ridiculed by the masses for it.

This disconnection is terrifying. And let me tell you, I struggle with it daily.

The knowledge that once I publish a book, any separation between my original work and the fanfictions I write will be gone is difficult to combat against. The notion that absolute strangers that don’t have the fandom and fanfiction context might look at some of the things I have written, and start judging me, is crippling some days. It makes me not want to write at all.

And I feel like this is a pervasive notion in my generation, and the generation before me. This fear of being seen. For all the surge of Instagram and Youtuber fame – people are inherently afraid of being known. That’s why we use filters, that’s why we fall into new crazes, that’s why platforms that allow us to present certain facets of our personalities are so dominating. We love the anonymity of being known only in certain degrees.

I’m certainly not as nice as I show myself to be online when I talk to you guys. Sometimes people send me asks that absolutely infuriate or irritate me, but I always try and respond at least politely because what if people realise that I can be mean? The fear never goes away, and it influences a great deal of how I present myself. I’m not lying, I’m just not telling the truth either.

Getting back on topic – this idea of people finding out what I’ve written, and the type of pairings I enjoy, makes me uncomfortable. For so long, I refused to even tell some of the people closest to me what I was writing or who the pairings were. There is this sense of shame that clings to fanfiction, almost.

Publishing a novel would put us out there in front of the world in a way we aren’t necessarily with fanfiction. It’s putting ourselves into the spotlight, and essentially opening ourselves up to take more hits than we could potentially handle. After all, there’s no way to know what people are thinking or feeling or saying about you – and that loss of control is incredibly daunting.

Now, I realise I have just made this sound super bleak, and I apologise for that. But I’ll swing this, I promise.

For me, personally, taking the step and actually putting myself out there on my tumblr – with my full name, with my photo, sharing the snippets of my original work – was so incredibly difficult. The fear I spoke about earlier was overwhelming, and even though I knew that my followers were all wonderful and supportive people, I was still terrified of backlash.

I only took that step because of my sister.

She was the one who told me, point-blank, that if I wasn’t prepared to be known and seen as Jordan Christison, then the chances of me achieving my dream of publishing a novel might not happen. She told me that I was my own worst enemy in this scenario, and that while yes the world is a scary place, and the chances of being torn down would always be there, if my passion and love and dreams were worth anything to me, then I would need to overcome this.

So, my biggest piece of advice really boils down to what my sister told me. You need to decide if pursuing your dreams and goals are worth opening yourself up to the potential of ridicule from strangers.

One of the best quotes I have for dealing with this fear is:

“If you’re not in the arena getting your arse kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.” – Brené Brown

And that’s the approach I take to my writing. While I appreciate all the comments I receive, and the overwhelming support from my readers, there are very few people that, in my eyes, can make me question my own skills and abilities. Do I accept constructive criticism? Yes. Do I accept baseless hate from people who don’t seem to understand how difficult writing is? Not really.

If, by publishing a novel, I get hate for enjoying the pairings I do and writing the fanfiction I have, I will persevere. I am not ashamed of what I have done, because every single word I write has helped me build my skills and improve on my techniques and made me a better writer. If, in the future, a reader or fan of my original work stumbles across my fanfictions and tries to make me feel embarrassed or guilty for it, I will laugh because those stories they might think are disgusting and wrong are the entire reason they got to read my original novel in the first place.

I’m not sure if this really answered your question, or gave you the advice you needed, but this is how I deal with the knowledge that people are inevitably going to connect me with my fanfictions. I hope this helps in some way, darling 💜💜

#anonymous #personal #writing #fanfiction

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mister-tom-a-dildo-lover · 8 years ago

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Tomarry- "You leave, you can never come back!" Congrats cxxx

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Tomarry

Tags: Light Angst, Feels, Friendship, Possessive!Tom, Pre-Tomarry

All he’d wanted was a place to fit in. Instead, he’d learned very quickly that Hogwarts was just another tier to the hellstorm that was his life. It wasn’t just being unliked because the matron of the orphanage told everyone he was a bastard child born of a circus performer. There were more reasons to be hated there than when he was at the orphanage.

He was sorted into Slytherin. Everyone seemed to hate Slytherin. No one stood up for a Slytherin, no one told the truth about Slytherins. If one was sorted into Slytherin House, they could expect half of the school to hate them on principle.

He had a common name that was in no way magical, making him a ‘Mudblood’. Slytherins were notorious for not liking Muggleborn children and being incredibly hostile toward them. So even though he was in their House, his fellow Housemates treated him terribly for his supposed blood status.

He was brilliant. Tom had always been naturally talented and had a thirst for knowledge because knowledge was power. Many students could not fathom the fact that a Mudblood like him could be capable of such magical control or knowledge. And if it wasn’t the bigots who hated him for being a Mudblood who was smarter and better, it was the Ravenclaws who couldn’t stand having competition for ‘best in class’.

He was friends with a Gryffindor. And he used the term ‘friends’ lightly, but it was the best term he had to describe what Harry was to him. Harry had been sorted to the House directly opposing Tom’s. He’d always been inherently kind and merciful. Both being so similar, but while Tom was the punisher, Harry was the savior.

Harry’s name was magical. He looked like another member of his House, almost perfectly should he make his hair brown and eyes hazel. Everyone was convinced he was a misplaced Potter child and there were murmurs of adoption. However the other Potter who was a fourth year, had told Harry that he couldn’t be friends with Tom if he wanted to be adopted.

Harry had refused immediately, stating that Tom had been his friend for longer than he’d known of magic and that Tom was more important than some stuck up family who were just as biased as the people they claimed were the epitome of evil.

If those weren’t reason enough to hate him already, Albus Dumbledore hated him for more reasons than even Tom knew.

He knew the man didn’t like that Tom could speak to serpents. He knew that Dumbledore hated it that Harry and he conversed on a daily basis. He knew that Dumbledore thought Tom a bad example. It was in his body language, the tone of his voice, andhow his eyes followed Tom’s every move. Tom was not trusted in the eyes of a man who knew nothing about him.

The condescending, holier than thou attitude the old fool walked around with was frustrating.

Basically, Tom was hated by a majority of his peers for many reasons either beyond his control, or simply because they were pathetic and jealous.

And a chance to possibly lessen the hatred had arrived that morning, offering to take him away from that hellhole he called a place of residence and have him tutored in the proper magics befitting one such as he. However, it also meant leaving Harry behind.

Mr. Riddle,

I have been informed of your astonishing abilityin your studies as well as your particular talentinvolving serpents. These are not skills that shouldbe ignored, but praised. They should be allowedto grow in a healthy environment, where you canattain self-control of your power without stress.

I feel that my family and I could very well aid youon your journey to greatness. It would take but a few pieces of parchment and some signing to seeyour adoption through to the fullest. The Ministryis very easy to handle in these matters and no onewould seek to have you placed back into yourformer home.

You would have access to the best private tutorsavailable. You would be coached in the proper manner befitting a member of Slytherin House.Perhaps we could purchase you a serpent familiarof your own so that you may harness your ability.

All of this, plus the benefits of our family name, would place you much higher in status amongyour peers. Meanwhile, you may be able to learnabout your magical history. Your special languageis in no way common, even among the magicalcommunity.

Your agreement to this proposition would in away benefit both parties. We would be honored ifyou accepted our offer.

Lord Arcturus BlackThe Most Ancient and Noble House of Black

It was a tempting offer. So very tempting. They had something he wanted. Had wanted for years.

“If you leave, you can never come back!“

Tom’s head jerked to the side, seeing Harry standing in the doorway to their shared room at the orphanage. The other boy looked crazed and slightly wary.

“I would be adopted,” said Tom, “of course I wouldn’t come back.”

But Harry’s head was shaking. “If you leave me,” he clarified, “you can never come back.”

It was a startling realisation. Because Harry had denied the chance of a family. A room of his own and full meals. Non-second hand clothing and probably a chance to peruse any shop he wanted without having to worry about funds. Harry had done it for Tom’s sake and their… friendship.

Tom not doing the same would mean abandonment. It would mean leaving Harry to face the horrors of the orphanage without his protection. And Tom knew about the Blacks. They were as extreme as the Potters but on the very opposite end of the spectrum. They did not like Gryffindors and while it was not mentioned, he had no doubt he would be trained into hating Harry for simply his robe colours eventually.

It was more difficult for Tom to make the decision, than it was for Harry. Tom was cruel and self-centered. Until Harry came into his life, he’d only thought about himself. Harry was so free and careless about his own happiness most of the time, that he would willingly give things up for others. Such as a chance at a family all for a child who was a bit too possessive and Dark.

He couldn’t lose Harry though. Harry was the only person who was truly Tom’s. Even if he had trouble defining their relationship, Harry was still Tom’s no matter what.

Looking at the letter, Tom pursed his lips. He didn’t need the fame of another to become great. Besides, Lord Black had revealed a few things in his letter, whether he noticed or not.

Tom’s ability was rare and considered a magical language. It also had ‘history’.

For some reason, having Tom in their family would benefit them, meaning something about him made them consider adoption.

People out there wanted people with Tom’s skills.

Tom would become great without them, because they’d already given him some answers, and helped him formulate new questions that he could properly research now.

He folded the parchment in half and tucked it back into his trunk. He would reply later.

“I am none too fond of the Blacks,” he confessed. “Walburga caterwauls louder than any Banshee ever could.”

Thankfully, Harry understood what he was saying and knew very well that he was often a deflector when in emotional situations.

The other boy skipped into the room and plopped onto Tom’s bed in order to throw his arms around Tom’s skinny shoulders.

“We’ll take the magical world by storm, Tom. I just know it.”

A/N: This was long. Holy shiznit.

#Tomarry #Tom Riddle #HP #Ficlet #Watermelonsmellinfellon

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antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx · 4 years ago

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I just, writing fic is so damn hard sometimes. And this awful fucking environment doesn't help, with fanpol trying to chase us into corners to cower and hide. So when I see so much love and effort put into a problematic pairing, I am so grateful for fandom creators who don't stop making amazing content, despite everything.

Like, for real, I see ants crawl from AO3 onto problematic ship writers' tumblrs (and vice versa) to threaten them on anon (had it happen to me over my fairly vanilla Tomarry fic, it was hilarious), and every time I wish I could just duct tape their mouths shut and put big, fat mittens on their hands so they can't spew their vitriol all over the work that people pour their hearts into. So just. Idk I hope that by leaving a really long and positive review about the fics I like I can give something back to the creators who work so hard to give us this for free.

@dancewiththepen I absolutely, truly, from the bottom of my heart, adore your fic. But also, I am crying. A lot. At a significant chunk of the chapters. So first of all thank you and second of all hOW DARE ;p

Anyway, everyone, please read it. You will cry, but it will be worth it. It's the EXACT enemies to friends to lovers energy I would die for. Whenever I write enemies to lovers, this is the kind of development I try so hard to achieve, and after so much sweat and tears, I have the utmost respect and awe for people who get it down so perfectly. It is EXQUISITE. And damn, you make it look easy, pen! Idk I just see how much effort and love has been put into crafting this fic and I am so damn grateful wtf?? We don't deserve fic authors

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mister-tom-a-dildo-lover · 8 years ago

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Tomarry, "Death is just a part of life."

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Tomarry

Tags: Time-Travel, MoD!Harry, Tom is mad, Light Angst?

Cold and twitching fingers gripped the bone white wand with an almost obsessive need. As if a tighter hold would somehow grant the wielder a new amount of strength. As if the owner could possibly draw some kind of calm from the magic radiating from the core within.

His wand that usually comforted him in times of struggle, was so cold in his hand though. As if punishing him for his transgressions and his thoughts. The one thing that had helped physically connect him to his magic, was almost refusing him in a way.

Why?

Because he had attacked his lover in a fit of madness. A strange happenstance that had never occurred before, but he couldn’t help himself when he’d seen Harry holding the Slytherin Locket. He’d merely attacked first and didn’t think to ask what Harry was doing.

And Harry… Harry had merely stood there as one of the most dark curses only recently added to Tom’s repertoire, headed straight for his head. Tom’s terror struck as he watched the curse land. Or at least he’d thought it did. But instead, the virulent, dark purple shaded curse, slammed into something unseen and dissipated without a problem.

“Tom,” said Harry, voice soft and so full of understanding that it made him feel physically ill. Why was Harry being so nice about nearly being tortured? It wasn’t normal.

“Tom, death is just a part of life. You should not fear it so.”

The very first impulse was to try cursing again because Harry understood far more than he should. More than Tom had ever divulged to him or anyone else ever. He didn’t like the unknown.

Harry’s arms were merely outstretched, as if waiting for something.

“Tom,” he crooned, “there is nothing I would hate you for. I’ve fallen too hard to you to hate you. Yet I am unhappy with what you’re doing. Wasting your talent and mind all on something that you are taking too far because your growing insanity is whispering in your ear.”

No, he was strong. He was becoming powerful. A true Dark Lord. Voldemort.

“You can barely think straight, Tom. Soon you probably won’t even recognise me as your lover and will cast me out.”

No, Harry was his. He never forgot anything he treasured.

“I just want to help you, Tom. I cannot do so if you avoid me and avoid anything that could fix this madness you can’t seem to control. I don’t want to lose you, nor do I want you to lose yourself. It is a grim future, Tom. One you should never be a part of because you deserve better.”

And yet he was still so oddly empty and ill inside just thinking about his Horcrux being compromised as it rested around Harry’s neck. He wanted to touch it and make sure it was fine. It looked fine, but looks could deceive. But then again, Harry had stood by him for years and why would he move against Tom? After all they shared?

But it was his Horcrux! But it was also his Harry.

“Tom, please?” the Gryffindor pleaded quietly. “Come and let me help you find yourself again. You can be powerful and not insane. And perhaps your magic would stop fighting with you and you can get back to your planning for Britain.”

Yes, he was supposed to taking over and finding supporters. To right the many wrongs he perceived in their government.

It took all of his pride and his energy, and the very essence of him to simply admit, “Harry, I need you.”

“You have me,” was the soft reply.

#Tomarry #ficlet #Tom Riddle #HP #Watermelonsmellinfellon

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mister-tom-a-dildo-lover · 8 years ago

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Tommarry~ "You can't do this to me, Harry... You promised!" Congratulations by the way!

Thanks! ^-^

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Tomarry

Tags: Riddle-Era, CoS drama, Slight Angst, pre-Tomarry

Tom was frowning harder than he ever had before, and it was for a good reason. His favourite person stood before him. The only person he had ever liked, had just told him the worst news he could ever hear.

‘I’m telling the Headmaster about the Chamber.’

It had been horrifying. Terrible. To think that the person he valued the most, would betray him like this.

“You can’t do this to me, Harry… you promised to stand by me.”

“I promised I would stand by you so long as your actions worked for the benefit of the both of us, Tom. You’ve thrown that enter plan out one of the owlery windows.”

He scoffed. “How so? I am establishing a presence for us so that we can get somewhere once we don’t have Hogwarts to fall back on.”

Harry’s green eyes narrowed in a look that had never been aimed in Tom’s direction before. It made him feel cold.

“Tom, because of you, we aren’t even going to have Hogwarts to fall back on.”

What?

“Multiple attacks supposedly orchestrated by the Heir of Slytherin who warned all enemies to beware. And because people perpetuated an age old bias, they think that means murdering Muggleborns. So Muggleborns keep turning up petrified and it’s taken months to awaken them.”

“A little scare won’t make that big of a deal, Harry.”

Harry’s arms crossed. “Since Slughorn is so inept as a Head of House, I suppose he neglected to inform you that they are considering closing the school?”

Tom’s heart practically choked him and the fear chilled him to the core. No. Slughorn had said nothing of the sort.

Harry plopped down into an armchair that the Room of Requirement had provided. “Dumbledore is pressuring Dippet to close the school, where everyone will be sent back to their places of residence until they can find the Chamber and either eradicate the Heir, or the monster said to live within. Dumbledore made the announcement in the Common Room last night and had everyone pack most of their possessions just in case.”

With the school closed, Tom and Harry would have to go back to the orphanage until it reopened. And if they couldn’t find the Chamber or the Heir, then the school would remain closed.

“Not to mention,” Harry added, “that you’ve pretty much ruined any chance at integrating yourself into society as Lord Slytherin. Because everyone here knows the Heir is around and trying to murder Muggleborns and should you go public with your ancestry, you’ll bring suspicion upon your shoulders and possibly end up in Azkaban.

“Basically, I sat here waiting for you to pick up on your errors, and you never did. So no, I will not be supporting this any longer, Tom.”

It was hard to acknowledge that Harry was correct. He felt bitter over the fact that he’d lost the support of the only person he found important in the scheme of things, all because he’d been so blinded by his excitement.

“If I stop, will you keep your silence?” he asked, hoping that Harry’s well known mercy was active. “Help me fix this.”

A sideways glance told him that Harry was considering it.

“You have to do me a favour, if I help you fix this.”

“Anything.”

He almost pinched himself for not thinking before answering. He was just so panicked, which was a feeling he wasn’t often exposed to.

“Take me out on a date.”

Tom’s genius response… “What?”

Harry was smiling however. “Take me out on a date and everything will turn out fine. I promise.”

#Tomarry #ficlet #Tom Riddle #HP #Watermelonsmellinfellon

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