#i am always thinking about the beach story. idr what i named it

[lavosse]

me an hour after finishing the draft of girlbucks: what if i wrote about the bucks......when they were in high school....backyarding.....surely no one has thought of this before

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #543

WOW look who it is. Long story short my mom got a new charger for her old fossil of a laptop, and I am very proud of it for working semi-decently?? So here’s a survey after two whole honkin’ months!

Do you think you look good with red hair? Dude I loved having red hair. What is your favorite middle name for a girl? I mean that depends on the first name and to some extent the last. What color was the last scarf you wore? I don't wear them unless I go out in the very rare snow and Mom makes me, lmao. That hasn't happened in so many years that I don't remember the scarf. When was the last time you took a selfie? Wow, it's been a very long time. Months. Do you enjoy getting caught in the rain? I really don't, I don't enjoy feeling wet unless I'm like, swimming. How many of your grandparents are still alive? None. Who is your favorite music artist at the moment? My favorite artist of all time is Ozzy of course, but I'm going through a MASSIVE Rammstein phase right now; they've been a "favorite" for years, but I've been exploring more of their discography and learning about them personally and they are My Dads... except the bassist. I have a new husband. Are you allergic to any foods, and if so, what? No. I do have a violent heartburn response to bananas if I haven't taken my prescription antacid, though. Which insect annoys you the most? Gnats. How many proms have you been to? I went to two: my then-boyfriend's senior as well as my senior. Do you prefer hard rock music or soft rock? Hard, but I enjoy both. Did you ever own a Furby? I did for whatever fuckin reason. Were you a bigger fan of Backstreet Boys or *N Sync? Backstreet Boys, def. I liked both, though. Have you ever had sex on the beach? God no, that sounds horrible, even if it was a private beach. I do noooot like sand. Where does your best friend live? My best friend is my boyfriend, and he lives like 30 minutes from me. Where did you last hang out? I haven't "hung out" anywhere in over a week, when I visited Girt's house for the first time. I wanna go backkkk. Why did you get a MySpace? Probably because my friends were, idr. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? Nope, bye. Do you remember the first time you ever went into the ocean? I don't. Have you ever stolen from your parents? No, because I'm not my uncle. (: If you owned a dalmation, what would you name him/her? I do know if it was a female, it would be Perdita from the movie. Idk about male tho. What country music star should be honored in the Hall of Fame? I don't like or listen to country music, idk. Would you eat cat food for $500? Shit, maybe. I'd try because that's a decent amount of money that you can't just scoff at. Have you ever had an ultrasound? Yes, on my liver when I was a teenager. I can't remember why I had to get it, but I know everything was fine. Where do you want to be at a year from now? It'd be nice if I've lost weight and regained some leg strength, as well as be stable on working medications. Less importantly but what would be nice would be if Girt and I are talking about moving in together or already are. Do you like pickles? I fucking LOVE pickles and have been craving them lately. Where do you work? I don't. Unless I build my own business of some sort, I just like... don't see me ever being able to handle a proper job for so many reasons. Idk what I'm doing in the "earn money to live" department, y'all. Have you ever thought you could do a better job at being president? God no. You’re in line at Taco Bell, what’s your order? I pretty much always get the cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatoes. Sometimes I'll swap the latter out for those little cinnamon bite things. Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal? I think it's a normal size, if not a bit smaller. Are you currently listening to a song? Remember that a Rammstein thing I mentioned lmao well I'm listening to "Sex" right now and just real talk it's going on a certain playlist lmfao LOOK it's a fun song What are you doing tomorrow? I don't really know. I would like to see my boyfriend because he has been SWAMPED with work and other responsibilities and it's been awhile, but I think he has work tomorrow? Maybe? God I can never keep track of his schedule. Can others make you cry easily? It is more than "easy." You barely have to do anything at all lmao. Whose house did you last go to? My older sister's. I helped Mom watch the kids. How has the past week been? It's literally been one of the most hectic but also hopefully emotionally developmental weeks of my life. I enacted a split from my best friend, which was majorly goddamn hard, but for my own good, and I feel I've been learning things about myself and taking steps towards bettering me and my life. When did you first get your period? I don't remember other than it was a normal age. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No, I've actually never wanted to. I don't like lettuce on my burgers. Are you engaged right now? No. Name the last video game you’ve played. Girt and I recently beat the remake of Shadow of the Colossus! I was so proud of him, he beat the final colossus with no hints. :') Do you believe in sex before marriage? For most relationships, I personally think it's smarter to... y'know, find out if you're sexually compatible with someone if that's important to you before deciding to tie the knot. But do what you're comfortable with. Have you ever smoked marijuana? No. If it was legal though, I'd honestly consider it for when my anxiety flares up. I don't want to smoke anything, cigs or weed, but if it was only an occasional thing to calm the fuck down, I'd do weed. Who are you currently living with? My mom and pets. Do you feel like you need to lose weight? This isn't an "I feel like I should" thing, I literally need to. I'm not your go-to visual of an example of this, but I am by definition obese and completely, totally serious, I wish it on fuckin NOBODY. It. Sucks. Actual. Ass. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you good at rapping? I've never tried, but there is zero way. I stutter too much. How often do you go to church? By this point in my life, I would rather get decked in the goddamn face than sit through an actual sermon. Do you feel like you’re judged for your looks? Oh, absolutely. Do taking tests make you nervous? Not really, at least not usually. Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? In German, yes. Fun fact, "y" doesn't exist in native German words, and in an instance where the letter is referenced, it is pronounced like "oopsilon" over yonder. What do you want out of life? I just want to be happy and feel like I made a positive difference. Oh, and have fun. Where’s the last fast food place you’ve eaten at? McDonald's. Do you like Wendy’s frosties? They're nothing special, but yeah I like 'em. They always take too long to be drinkable through a straw, though, with how thick they are. How long of a drive are you from California? Dude California is the LITERAL polar opposite of the country lmao, it would take days to drive there. Do you ever get carsick? No. How long can you go without sleeping? Once or possibly twice, I've gone around three days with zero sleep, and I wasn't even tired when I finally said "okay I need sleep" for my health. This occasion along with a few others actually make me wonder if I have bipolar 1 instead of 2, because that right there sounds like mania. Do you groom your eyebrows? Not really anymore. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Omg, when I was watching the kids with Mom, Ryder was being REALLY cute with Emerson, hugging and lifting her, and he let me take a picture of them. Emerson even smiled at the camera with her big brother. :') Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? It does, actually; dark and dreary days tend to lend to my depression. Hot weather also just makes me generally miserable if I don't have AC. What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? I live to window shop for ball pythons on Morph Market. *sobs* Are you part of the LGBTQIA+ community? As a pansexual, yes. Are you scared of growing older? Yes, with how immensely weak my body *already* is. Would you ever consider adopting or fostering children? No. People are fan-fucking-tastic for doing it, like so much respect to 'em, but it's not for me. Would you consider yourself to be petty? Not at all, genuinely. Can you roll your tongue? Not well at all, no. Sometimes when I've been alone lately tho I've kinda been practicing in order to speak German more appropriately lmao. I downloaded a German-learning app yesterday actually and have started it, because I regret not having become fully fluent in the language faaaaar too frequently. Even if I never reach my goal of visiting Germany, it'll be a personal victory for me, an accomplishment to remember. You are more likely to stop wearing something because? It gets too tight. Do you speak a second language? bitch i'm GONNA How many books do you have out in the public areas of your house? I don't think any, actually. Do you like fried chicken? I HATE fried chicken. What was the very first social media site you signed up for? MySpace. Can you see yourself marrying your current partner? (if you have a partner) That's the goal. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? Eek, no. What was the last thing you felt nostalgic about? I guess old friendships. That happens a lot. What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? I've lost count of how many times I've been admitted to psych hospitals, but I know it's a number that would make people think i'm actually clinically fucking insane. Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No, just some small bushes. What’s the weirdest decoration you’ve seen in someone else’s home? *shrug* Did you have your own bathroom when you were growing up? No. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does. How far are you into the book you’re currently reading? I'm rather early in. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? No indoor animals, but growing up, we had a cat infestation outside, and they would sometimes just vanish. Usually the males, but that is completely normal for mature, unfixed toms. Please fix your pets and keep them inside. Do any of your exes know each other? I'll go with everyone who has had the "boyfriend/girlfriend" title. Jason and Juan knew each other and did not get along. Jason and Girt also met at least once when we all hung out at my place, and Sara has met Girt once, again when we hung at my place. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? I still haven't decided to this day if the "birds are fake" conspiracy is an actual belief some people have or just a joke. God, I hope it's a joke. What was the very first election you voted in? This previous one. Do you know how to make omelettes? No. Do you feel positive and optimistic about your future? Man idk. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom or groomsmen at the wedding I shot years ago, idk. Have you ever sexted? No, it's not for me. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mama. Who’s the bravest person you know? ^ Do you ever make up retarded words with your friends? How about we don't abuse the word "retarded." But I know what you mean and in which case, no. It's really, really weird, it's actually some strange pet peeve of mine when people completely make up random words and actually apply them as if they truly mean something, unless they're defining things set in a fantasy universe that actually need identification. I don't know if that made any sense whatsoever, but it makes me cringe idk. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. What profession do you admire the most? Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firemen. And surgeons. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? Nope. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? Yes, actually, in college. Do you have anything planned for the summer? Mom, Nicole, and I might visit one of Mom's brother's family in New York for like a week, but there are some concerns about me being able to physically handle what we have planned. Like this isn't just in my head, my mother, sister, and uncle have talked about it and it's been decided I'm probably going to have to stay with a nearby aunt while they're out on the river on a boat. Do you walk fast or slow? Slow. Once upon a time I was a fast walker. What would you do if you found a small, lost child? Stay with them and first try to find their parents, and if that's not successful, call the cops. Whose arms do you feel the safest in? My boyfriend's. What was the last meal you ate? Mom made some sausage and eggs this morning, but I couldn't eat much. I just don't have an appetite, but I needed food. Have you memorized your social security number? It's funny, I know it sometimes. I know the last six digits, but for some reason usually not the first part. It comes to me sometimes, though. What’s the last food you ate that was stale?Ugh, a bagel. It was SO dry that I couldn't even finish it. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown? Well, it depends where. It's not a "good" city, but I mean I don't know every little nook and cranny of it. It's a very small town though, so. Describe your laugh: I sound like a fucking hyena. How did you meet the last person you kissed? We were both in the band of our high school. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? No. When was the last time you changed your bed sheets? Very recently, after I recovered from my cold. Mom taught us to always do that after being sick. Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? I think it's really good, I just hate how messy it can be. When was the last time someone kissed you on the cheek? Wow I'm not sure. Girt normally goes for the forehead instead of cheek with that kind of kiss, but I mean maybe it was still him? What are two instruments you’d like to learn to play? Violin and either electric guitar or piano. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? Grape. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare before? No. Would you ever think about getting your nose pierced? I'm getting it re-pierced at some point. Has anyone of the opposite sex ever hit you before? No, let's keep it that way. What’s your favorite gaming system? PS2 had the best games. When was the last time you thought someone was completely pathetic? Hm... I can't say I'm sure. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? The lobes, I don't remember. My tragus was pierced as a teen, but the hole closed when I had to take the ring out at the psych hospital; I honestly can't recall how l ong ago I got it redone. it's been a while. Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? No, good luck seeing me tolerate that. Has anyone ever called you stubborn? Oh god yes. What is the meanest thing someone called you? A martyr, and not in the "I'd die for my beliefs" way. I've never forgotten it, probably never will. It came from Jason's friend who barely fucking knew me. Have you ever been paid to build something for someone? No. Are you a decent singer? No, I can't hold a note. Would you rather wear hoodies or jackets? Hoodies, for sure. When was the last time you were asked on a date? I have zero fuckin clue lmao. I don't think Girt and I have been on a "real" date yet, surprisingly. It doesn't really bother me though, chilling at each other's houses is more comfortable and I always feel absolutely horrendous if he pays for ANYTHING for me. Who is the one person you trust the most? My mom or Girt, I don't know who to pick. I'm full aware Mom has lied to me in the past, meanwhile Girt has always been immensely truthful. I dunno, one of 'em. Who is your favorite comedian? I don't think I have one, really. Do you own any exercise machines? No, but Mom seems very intent on getting a nice treadmill once the inheritance is finally fucking sorted. She and I both know my legs are going, and it feels like that's my last hope. Where was the last place you went? A clinic that offers walk-in service because I have a sinus infection from the greatest depths of Hell. Was prescribed some stuff to start taking tonight.

[carleencl]

📍✈️Traveling to Bali: Part 1 - Ubud (Day 1 & 2)

Bali, Indonesia - an island known for its good food, religious sites for its temples, beaches, a shopping destination, and more. I was thrilled when my friends and I decided to visit Bali since I love learning other country's culture, little bit of history, and seeing breathtaking places.

I’ll be sharing my Bali experience both in Ubud and Seminyak last November 21 - 27, 2018. This travel blog about Bali will be divided maybe into 3 to 4 posts since we have visited a handful of spots in Bali. I’m also planning to have a separate post for our itinerary and budget we had for Bali, Indonesia. I will also share my Bali trip vlog at the end of this post to better see what Bali has to offer.

Our flight from Manila to Bali was at 3:30am via Cebu Pacific. We arrived at Bali, Indonesia at around 8 in the morning. What I really love about early morning flights is that you can see the sunrise in a bird’s view and the clouds upclose. Just looking at the sunrise and clouds in this view just gives out a serene vibes.

Once we have arrived at Ngurah Rai International Airport, we went straight to the Immigration, get our luggage, and find Klook for our sim card/data.

Afterwards, we were looking for our driver for our entire stay at Bali. Hiring a driver at Bali was very very convenient since transportation were mostly motorcycles, and taxis. It will also lessen the chance that you would be spending more when hiring a driver. Our driver, Jo, was recommended by my colleague. Jo was very kind and also became our guide the entire trip. He would suggest a lot of tourist spots and places to visit, and also would recommend the places to go for a certain day to maximize our stay in Bali. He also brought us to restaurants that has amazing food.

DAY 1 November 21, 2018

KANDA VILLA

We had an early check-in at our Villa named, Kanda Villa, to leave our things and luggage so that we would be able to explore Ubud comfortably.

UMA PAKEL BALI SWING

First destination of our day 1 in Bali is in Uma Pakel Bali & Swing! This is not originally the swing we would want to try but Jo recommended this since this will have less people. Also, mostly all the swings are just the same.

The view at Uma Pakel was just so refreshing and makes your heart at peace. Entrance fee was IDR150,000 (PHP555).

Here, I am nesting. 🐣

It was actually terrifying to climb in and out of this one. 😅 The "nest" even wobbles when you move. But as what they always say, all for the photos! 📸

Literally just chilling and it seems I'm about to lay an egg. ��� 😅

I think my stomach just turned upside down while trying the swing and screaming for my life. 😅 It felt as if I’m going to be thrown towards the trees during that time. 🤣 However, no regrets in trying the swing! I really do recommend to try it at least once.

TEBA SARI RESTO BAR - LOUNGE

For lunch, we ate at Teba Sari Restaurant Bar-Lounge. It is located just across/opposite of Uma Pakel Bali & Swing. This was our first meal at Bali and I’m loving the interiors of the restaurant.

Free appetizers were given to us! It was cassava chips with a spicy tomato dip and it was actually delicious.

I ordered their Ribs since I heard ribs in Bali is good (which was totally true!). The meals included a grilled marinated pork ribs, steamed rice, sautéed green beans-eggplant, chili sambal, and salad pickle. We all ordered Ginger Ale for a refreshing drink.

TEGALALANG RICE TERRACES

After having lunch, we visited the Tegalalang Rice Terraces. There was a minimal entrance fee of IDR15,000 (PHP55.50).

We actually didn’t stayed that long and explored the rice terraces since it was really hot that time.

We did a little shopping at Tegalalang Rice Terraces. The stores could be found exactly across the Rice Terraces.

If you have a short time in Bali and couldn’t visit the Ubud Art Market, I suggest you shop here instead. Prices were almost the same as the one in Ubud Art Market. We saw a rattan round bag which costs IDR90,000, same price as we saw in Ubud Art Market with the same style and quality.

TIRTA EMPUL TEMPLE

Last stop before calling it a day is at Tirta Empul Temple. Entrance fee was IDR50,000 (PHP185).

Before entering the temple, you will be asked to wear a sarong if you’re wearing shorts or a dress. Sarongs will be provided before you enter the temple without any charge. As for our case, we bought sarongs already at the shop near Tegalalang Rice Terraces for our convenience.

We actually didn’t know where to go since it was a little crowded and got “lost” upon exploring the temple.

Tirta Empul is known as a water temple. People go here to have a bath on its holy spring water to purify their souls from the sins they committed. It is a ritual for purification.

We didn’t took a dip since we don’t have any extra clothes and towel with us.

A place where they put their offerings.

Here’s another side of the temple.

We went to a grocery store after visiting Tirta Empul Temple. There we bought our dinner and water supply for our stay at Ubud. I think we spend around Php2000 for dinner, some snacks, drinks, and bottles of water.

DAY 2 November 22, 2018

KOPI DESA

One of the thing we were excited every morning was this hole in a wall restaurant near the place we are staying at. This humble restaurant/cafe is Kopi Desa. 😍

The place was aesthetically good and food was the best! We had our breakfast here for our entire stay at Ubud and I was also consistent to order their Nasi Goreng Ayam (fried rice) which was the best I’ve tasted until today. Nasi Goreng  Ayam is a meal including stir fried egg and chicken meat in small amount of cooking oil or margarine, typically spiced ith sweet soy sauce, shallot, garlic, tamarind, and chili. A meal costs IDR 28,000 (PHP 103.6).

My breakfast options were in different variations but it as a must that the fried rice was included in my meal like for the 1st day, it the fried rice with egg only, 2nd to 4th day were fried rice with Chicken Satay (Chicken BBQ). Plus, I have convinced my friends to order and try it - that’s how I really love it! 😂

THE BARONG & KRIS DANCE: JAMBE BUDAYA

1st on our itinerary was the Barong & Kris Dance: Jambe Budaya. It was a cultural dance and fee as IDR100,000 (PHP370) per person.

This is the overview of the story of the dance.

I really like the effort they put in showcasing the tourists their culture.

At the side were performers providing for the background music of the dance.

It was a good experience to see and watch a part of Indonesia’s culture knowing they are trying to preserve and show it to everyone.

GITGIT TWIN WATERFALL

In my vlog below, you would notice we were laughing about “Gitgit” because it sound’s like the line Jae of DAY6 says all the time, “Let’s get it!” Like get it = gitgit. 🤣 (We were still on PCD for DAY6 at that time).

There was en entrance fee of IDR20,000 (PHP74). They said it was used to preserve the walking pathway and help the unfortunate children to go to school. I think it was reasonable to pay the amount for the cause, also, the fee includes a tour guide.

It was trekking time for us! Doing trekking was another experience to be in nature - very refreshing! It was truly a breathe of fresh air for us.

Our tour guide said that it was good we went there early because it tend to be crowded during the afternoon.

We actually didn’t finish the whole trekking since it will take another 1-2 hours finishing it and another 1-2 hours in going back.

The waterfall was just so beautiful! The water was so clean and clear.

This is the small bridge to be able to go to the waterfall. I was actually a little scared in crossing cause it was a little slippery and I might fall into the water. 😅

BILLY’S LAKE VIEW RESTAURANT

Lunch at Billy’s Lake View Restaurant! We were already starving hence, the super lack of photos! This restaurant was near to our next destinations.

Food was alright and was in a buffet style. There were different options to choose from starting from soups, main course, and desserts. Taste-wise, food was ordinary. The buffet also included refillable ice tea. Lunch buffet at Billy’s Lake View Restaurant costs IDR 100,000 (PHP 370).

At the back was our view while having our lunch.

HANDARA GATE

The Handara Gate is literally a gate of a Golf Field. A fee was required to be able to take a photo with the gate consisting IDR30, 000 (PHP111). A little pricey for a photo in front of a Golf field gate, but for the sake of experience and memory to cherish, we just had to have a photo.

We actually need to look back and forth since there were cars and motorcycles passing through.

ULUN DANU BERATAN TEMPLE

Final stop for the day was the Ulun Danu Beratan Temple. Entrance fee costs IDR50, 000 (PHP185) per person.

Ulun Danu Temple is another water temple in Bali, Indonesia and is located in Beratan Lake.

It was actually very cold and windy when we visited the temple. It felt like we were in Tagaytay.

The temple is also known for it “floating” appearance when the water level is high. Too bad we came when the water level was low and wasn’t able to see its “floating effect.”

❤️

Below is a vlog on our adventures for day 1 and 2 in Bali. Feel free to watch it!

So that’s day 1 and 2 in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia! Next posts will still be about our stay in both Ubud and Seminyak, Bali.

Other blog post related to Bali below: 🔗 BALI DAYS 3 -5 BLOG POST 🔗 BALI DAYS 6 & 7 BLOG POST

*Conversion of IDR to PHP are rounded and used IDR 1 = PHP 0.0037

*If you’re going to Bali and needs a driver/transportation, I highly recommend our driver during our trip last year. If interested, you can message me through my social media accounts or e-mail me to know his contact number.

[jyotikathapa]

After an Anonymous plan to travel together with my girlfriends we chose Bali. It wasn’t my first choice but the flights are cheap from Aus and food and hotels too; for sure then why not!!! And literally, it was ok! didn’t cost me much. So we planning started 3 months before. Just a plan! PLAN!!! (which doesn’t work really work out most of the time)

Anyways in April, we should have been three of us in the tour but one of my girlfriends couldn’t make it due to passport delay in the embassy. However, two of us were on a gooooo….

Well, I booked my ticket with the transit in Singapore for 12hrs which let me go in free Singapore tour by the Chiang Mai airport (This is another story will share it soon)

Arrival in the Ngurah Rai International Airport, Denpasar, aka BALI! Reached there around 8 pm and lucky Nepalese travellers!!! you don’t need a visa. YeaH!!! (Nepalese don’t need visa if u stay less than 30days ). Fuzz start when u are a tourist and need a ride to Hotel after touchdown to the island. So, people you better take a blue taxi if u want to save your budget and run taxi in meters :D. Reached hotel meet my friend after a year. Had local dinner nearby the restaurant and off to bed.

Day 1 Haha! Woke up late. Then we hired a scooter from the hotel then off to ride (renting a bike is quite cheap there IDR 50000- 70000 per 24 hrs/day). Then we got ourselves sim cards and off to the road… Thank God there is GPS. We passed through Kuta street and man! It was vibrant in all possible terms. Uluwatu Temple was the first destination cause it was on the edge of the map lol! Well, its looked far away in a drive and city is crowded as every other city. We came to see a beautiful couple taking their photo nearby the cliff and it was spectacular.

lady by the cliff

Uluwatu Temple

couple tring to capture panoramic view of uluwatu temple

relax, see, enjoy, rest

Couples near the cliff for wedding photo

lovely couples, capturing their wedding

Tip: Beware of the monkeys they will snatch everything possible. Carry a candy bar in your pockets to batter your belongings. Well, there are locals who will save you for sure.

Next destination after there was the Garuda Wisnu Kencana (GWK), a cultural park. Have you experienced a disastrous moment well it was the first one when we were there? Scooter stopped and didn’t start at all. NOT my Fault (fault in our star damn!) but the generous staff in the GWK helped us start the bike. And we were there first thing first we enjoyed the ice cream mad on the cold slab.

It was great then the view of GWK well it was architectural delineation for sure. The Indra log was amazing well it was a place for famous events in Bali for music concerts and parties.

GWK

dancing away

artist from the theater dacing

Wishnu God

villan

garauda story

forever young heart

orchestra

Well, you can spend whole day over there watching various theatre shows done for the visitors and we were able to witness few of them as the Vishnu (wishanu dance/ art); taaktaktaktak dance and the beautiful music until the end.

On our way back to the hotel we went to the beach nearby called double six beaches no wonder why! Grab the beer and enjoy the view! Not really it was dark ! man! Lol though the music was good and the atmosphere was chilled. Bintang the Indonesian beer…

Day 2 So no hangover, but still not an early bird, so on the second day we changed the scooter and we head to Ubud the monkey forest. This day was amazing first we encounter the notorious and mischievous monkeys. Rule 1 do not try to be friendly with them. Rule 2 don’t look in the eye or you will fall in love not but trouble (guides said it meant war if you stare at them lol).

After all that we escape the monkeys and headed to the famous tergalalang rice field. The view was great as it is seen in Instagram and Bali lookout but a bit crowded. Lots of people and lots of ways to be there. However, we were there and no need for tickets but there were kids that were trying to sell souvenir and stuff and local who maintained the field were collecting generosity ($) for themselves. Recommended to visit this area. Enjoy the view with coconut water for sure and that the exact place where we planned our next stop..

Tegallalang Rice Terraces in Bali

On the way to tegenungan waterfall sukawati we stopped by the Luwak coffee farm to taste the local famous coffee which is literally a shit of an animal named PLAM Civet (Luwak). The coffee was great and as a bonus we were given around 12 kinds of tea for testing which were amazing. About tea testing, you will be seeing a video soon.

Coffee testing

Luwak with its kids

Luwak poop ! the coffee beans

Special Luwak coffee

Must say it was a lovely day, now that we were close to the waterfall, we didn’t have spare clothes to change but then you only get one chance in a lifetime, therefore, take a dip and live. So I bought lungi like pyjama there for IDR 100,000 which is a nice gift too for later. Well, you need to buy a ticket for the entry though. So we were there and lots of other people too.

the red flag in left bottom side. do not go i repeat do not go

Tegenungan Waterfall

I would say this is the part where I came back from death, thanks to lifeguards there. There are unusual timing in life when you wanna be a rebel but there is devil waiting for you to end. So, what happened was I went to the water to take a photo but somehow I wanted to feel that one of life time moment and swim in the waterfall. So, as you can guess the whirlpool pulled me and my friend was taking a video thinking I was swimming like a pro but not. However, those lifeguards on standby saved me with the rubber tube well I lost my words and sense for some time but must say was one of the LIFETIME MOMENT!!!! Hence, guess be safe. Under the waterfall, there is sign which is marked with a flag for danger so avoid those areas. Sad thing photo didn’t come out well…

Well that was the day end of story for so far for which I get teased by my friends DIVE = DIE Day 3 This day weather was gloomy when we started to head out. So this day we went to Tanah Lot temple, the temple on the sea; next to the sea! Well, that place was amazing but I wonder what it would look like during sunset cause it popular for that.

temple

vendor with paper bird

flying paper ship

Well, there were parts of temple one being across the sea or shall say it was 100meter away from the mainland! You need to cross the gap between the lands via walk. And holy God, there were water snakes! Or some kind of snakes which is suppose to be gods relative or god themselves. One thing I am most afraid of is a snake and holy cra* Lord there they were but no harm. So I took blessing form the priest there and rushed back.

oh weather!!! It started to rain a lot but still then we ended up going out and soaking in the rain. As per my friend’s request, we went to blue lagoon which is supposed to be the best beach in Bali for snorkelling and beach time. Damn! It was beach day for us like b*tc$ day. It never stopped. We stopped by several stops to escape the rain but rain was all over us (rain on me!!!!! ) Somehow we reached there at the end. While we were there it stopped for a while and when we went to hotel it was raining again.

blue lagoon was really blue

Weather forecast for the next day seemed tragic so we rented the van and driver for next day.

while we wait for the rain to stop

Day 4 So on this day, we were supposed to go to 3 places as per our booking cause they were long distanced and off hills. First of all, we went to view Mt. Kintamani Volcano which took us more than 2 hours reach that viewpoint next we went to Pura Besakih temple which is known to be the biggest Hindu temple in Bali. It was a festival season so it was crowded by the devotees and tourist. We had an epic story here with the guide in the temple too. Bust the place was mesmerising.

Day 5 Coming to end of our tour, last day for us in Bali(supposed to be) hence I want to go all around Bali before I go back to place where I come from. cause we had been too limited areas only. There for DAY 5 was 270+ km tour for us in the bike.

First Stop: Pura Ulun Danu Bratan

Second stop: famous pancasari door  (Got to get one  of those shot)

                  Third stop: Gitgit waterfall

  kid trying to sell her hand made craft

Fourth stop: Kubu beach for lunch and relax in the swimming pool which also is a great place for diving for starters

this place is famous for snorkelling and underwater diving

relax by the sea and pool with few cocktails always relaxing

Fifth stop: Tirta Ganga

lets take selfie for one and then there they are

family picture with their character

After that as for the finishing touch, we went to Candi Dasa beach where the sunset was beautiful.

  Sunset in the Candidasa beach or horizon…..

  more stories to share… it will continue to another blog… (solo travel; beach relax day, food, turtles, food, rest…)

any enquiries email in missja.thapa@gmail.com ready to help

you get more than you know in Bali. Nature is amazing, when you add luxury its heaven After an Anonymous plan to travel together with my girlfriends we chose Bali. It wasn’t my first choice but the flights are cheap from Aus and food and hotels too; for sure then why not!!!

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

5/12/17, 11:11pm - gettin cucked up

me and a particular group of my melee friends have been using the word cuck a lot still and I never really thought about where it came from. Like 4chan probably repopularized the use of the word because I saw that cuckold porn became a really big trend on there, but the way we use it isn’t like cuckoldry exactly, it’s more like getting fucked over, or stood up, or most specifically teased with a promise of a good time and then having someone back out at the last minute.

More on that later I guess. This week’s been so hectic. Wtf it’s only been like 5 days it feels like it’s been weeks already. I’ve restrategized my Get Your Shit Together (4.0) list, and the big three things are 1. pass the RPSGT, 2. get moved out of my apartment, 3. get some surgeries. 

Tony actually wrote my letter for real, so I put in my application to take the test this week! My cpr aed certification is outdated so I got an online one and I’m not allowed, so I have to do a course this weekend and fix that, but otherwise I’m all set. Gotta study hard, I’m pretty fucking pumped to get a raise. Glad I’m not dying for the money rn though, the $500 to take the test and get a new cpr cert would have me stresssssed the fuck out, dude.  No progress on getting someone to take my room just yet, my room’s a fucking mess, I need to do laundry, I’m kinda putting all this shit off for now tbh. We’ll wait until I’ve taken the exam I’ve got vacation this week anyway. And I talked to my dad, who gave me his blessing so to speak to get a vasectomy. I fudged a number that I told him, said that it’s 90% reversible (most numbers say 95% or greater w/in 3 years, about 50% at 10), but with the potential for in vitro fertilization even if the reversal fails I’m sure that’s about right. He told me that my mom had told him that she wasn’t trying to get pregnant for a year or so and then ‘was practically pregnant the next day.’ coupled with how mom was talking about being pregnant at their wedding I can see that lol. He basically told me that he loves all of us a lot, but yeah I would’ve definitely done that because it’s worth it to not have that kind of surprise when you can’t make money for a kid. I definitely can’t make money for a kid right now lol that would kill me. So I’ve already called the doc to get a referral and I’m gonna get a vasectomy. Gotta figure out how much my septum surgery will be too, but that’ll be a lot more -_- Me and dad were catching up for a bit and I helped him get in touch with Dr. Bruce to fix a hernia so he’s gonna be giving me some more money so that’ll help with that too though. Plus I’ll FINALLY be making sleep tech money. I’m so fucking pumped.

Plus basically the past 3 days I’ve Actually just been working. 3 patients a night for the first time this week was stressful as fuck. I mean not exactly. Just time consuming and pretty frustrating. As jimmy said “if you were still trying to get through Zelda you probably would be dying right now.” Made it through fine and that should sweeten up my paycheck just a smidgen.

Still haven’t eaten french fries, but definitely gave up on cigs. Practically like two days later. I was out drinking for Josh’s birthday and smoked a bunch. That shit was so fucking cash omg. I got blackout drunk for the first time in forevvver. Was hanging out with Jimmy, Josh, Ian, Jack, ran around with one of josh’s friends trying to pick up chicks at a bar after smashing beers into our head and shotgunning them. I have a video lol I’ll try to upload it once I have internet. Was trying to ‘flirt with all the ASA bitties’ but got too drunk and ended up boxing someone in Josh’s friend’s basement (w/ boxing gloves) lmfao. Reminded me of middle school boxing Cory Winters and having our little fight club ring lol. Drunk snapped a bunch of people, ian drove me home, it was a great fucking night. Oh and at Josh’s friend’s I ran into one of my asian friends who I could not remember for the life of me. I wasn’t sure if he was a league friend or one of brosciouss friends or a smash friend I was just so lost, but played it off really well (as always) and did jager shots with him. Fuck. Ing. Lit. First time I felt so happy and natural to be drinking in forever, too. Even got to see brett3 for a bit. Nice to be back in chapel hill. Especially when they’re good old drinking buddies like Jack. It’s so strange that I don’t really talk to anybody else from chapel hill, but then again it really isn’t. 

The date with Brianna went pretty meh. We met up and joked around a bunch and thrift shopped and I bought a whole fuckton of new pants to ease the process of spring cleaning and two new sweatshirts so I’m not wearing fuzzy shit all the time now that it’s getting warmer. Ate at Ms. Winner’s and it was some delicious ass cheap fried chicken, might be my new go to in gboro now. But she like barely wanted to kiss me at the end of the date idk what’s up with her, I’ve kinda bailed out since she’s all preoccupied with her family anyway.

Instead ive gone back to what I call my “harem strats” You see, by chatting up as many girls as possible (right now juggling 4-5) I divert my attention and stay aloof enough that I don’t seem like a crazy fuck. Instead I’m just an asshole who’s two timing girls, but yknow fuck you stop judging me.  This girl hit me up on snapchat saying I looked cute in my story and that we should smoke sometime. With the snapchat name Smokeahontas I could’ve sworn it was Kat, so I just go along with the convo. But then I see kat has a diff username and I was like wtfff who is this lol. I didn’t ask her though, just played along and eventually remembered when she asked for my insta that it was this girl I matched with on tinder months ago that I never followed up with (like most of them), probably because I got lazy lol.  Had a sort of date with Jamie, we got some food because she was getting off work, we smoked a bit, but she was like texting the whole time and fuckin bailed out after just an episode of south park to ‘go to the beach with her roommate.’ I still have been talking to her a bunch, but Idk what the fuck is up with that, kinda whack. Super cucked by how that went. Especially because when I walked her out to her car I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight it was this weird lasting embrace like she pressed her cheek into mine to make sure I didn’t try to kiss her I guess, but still held me tight for a really long time, I was like rubbing her lower back hoping she’d like loosen up and kiss me but hooooly shit it all felt super fucking awkward. I’m hoping she’s just really conservative about dudes since she’s such a cutie, but idk. it makes me actually not give a fuck about her. I have a date tomorrow night with the other textiles girl idr if I wrote about her, but she’s cute, going to ncsu. “allergic to smoke” lol I told her I quit. (I mean I had that day before but I lied and said I did two weeks ago hahah goddamn I’m kind of a twat maybe.) Also actually got cucked by smokeahontas. It was like a situation that was too good to be true though, to be fair. She didn’t have anything to do yesterday night and wanted to hang out; when I told her I was stuck at work and said she should just smoke with me in the morning she said she actually wanted to and would stay up all night to meet up with me when I got off. Ofc she fell asleep, and when she woke up she said she wanted to go back to bed, so I flippantly said “well you could always sleep over here.” and surprisingly enough she said she was actually game for that, so our smoke and horror movie date turned into a naptime date. But an hour passed while I was eating breakfast and in the shower so I was like ‘wtf is up’ and she said she got sick and threw up. Figured I was super cucked once more by another flaker, kind of a bummed out, but not as bummed as after the dates with Jaime and Bri both went so poorly lol. Just happily told her we can try again another time, and now she’s saying she wants to do the same plan for tomorrow morning. 

So There. Is. The potential for me to get laid twice tomorrow. Pretty exciting. I haven’t told anyone that I remade plans with her though. RIGHT after I told some friends about how the nap date got planned out she said she was sick. I FUCKING swear that every time I brag about one of my dates I have lined up it falls the fuck through the floor. So I’m gonna try to never do it again. 

Then there’s this other theatre major girl I started talking to yesterday. Talked about horoscopes and transitioned from talking feminism to her (woke as fuck teens smh) into asking if she ate ass (jokingly) into asking if she wanted to hang. Turns out she’s actually a really cool super geeky chick and I’m really excited to spend time with her since she wants to show me jurassic park for the first time and learn how to play melee. Kinda weird that she’s only 18 still though O.o oh you, tyler. 

SO yeah. That’s the sitch with that. Went from supppper fucking bummed a couple days ago about my dating situation into thinking that I’m the shit again. I think I want to establish that “i’m the best” mentality once again. Because I really am. I’m fucking amazing lmao. 

Ultimately though, I’m still getting cucked left and right and I have little to no faith that I’ll find anybody I actually care about ever again but we’ll see yknow. I think that’s the strats to how I fell in love last time anyway.

hmmm. what else is there... Work in burlington is still super shitty, my commute went from an hour to like an hour and forty minutes today bc people in NC can’t drive through a little bit of fucking drizzling. 

Idk that’s about all I’ve got. Next week’s lake week so gonna have to work again in a few days after some date shenanigans and hopefully I’ve got some more good stories and shit. 

[krysrawfiggs]

1-154

1.Full name:Krysten Alexandra Figueroa but you will reffer to me as Krysfiggs

2.Zodiac sign:Im a cusp baby born as the day changed. I am a leo/virgo

3. 3 Fears:Spiders, being alone forever, my fam disowning me for being gay

4. 3 things I love:Being surrounded by awesome people, video games, outdoor activities

5. 4 turns ons:Firey passion, neck biting, n eyes.. its always the eyes, n intelligence

6.4 turns offs: Lack of intelligence, if youre rude in general, if youre clingy, lack of understanding n compassion

7. My best friend:I have a coupleNadia, amanda, n bree (when shes not being an idiot)

8. Sexual orientation:Lezzzzzzzzbbbbiiiiannnnnnnnn

9. My best first date:So far going out into town in the middle of a rainstorm running dancing n dickin round and then showing up soaked n eating at friendlys

10. How tall am I:Im 5'5"11. What do I missNot paying bills

12. What time were I born:12am on the dot

13. Favourite colour:I like deep colors. I used to say deep blue but i do love red n grey too

14.Do I have a crushXD maybe! Ok yea. I do. But i aint tell you.

15. Favourite quoteGod theres too many…

16.Favourite placePuerto rico

17. Favourite foodGawd this is hard ok. I have the soul of a very very fat man. If i had to pick one thing…itd have to be my moms pernil (pork shoulder)

18. Do I use sarcasmNever im a sweetheart😆

19. What am I listening to right nowEvie- last dinosaurs

20.First thing I notice in new personEyesss…eyess…eyess…….!

21.Shoe size822. Eye colourBrown anytime of dayGold in the sun

23.Hair colourBlack as the normBrownish in the sunlightBlue when its overcast

24.Favourite style of clothingandrogynous 25. Ever done a prank call?Yup i bothered the fuck outta kymmie for months before i gave myself up xD

26.What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Burgandy See thru lace

27. Meaning behind my URLWelp minus the word raw its just my name. If my father didnt delete my 1st blog and of someone in asia didnt take my old username right after it wouldnt be as stupid.

28. Favourite movieToo many brahhh

29. Favourite song

30.Favourite bandBloc party, last dinosaurs, split milk society

31.How I feel right nowHorngry n lonely. Lusting for warm weather and beach weather

32.Someone I love.In what context?

33.My current relationship statusSingle af

34.My relationship with my parentsCurrently ok..

35. Favourite holiday Hmm i dont have one

36.Tattoos and piercings?I have average ear piercings But i want a lip ring n a tatoo of leo n virgo fighting inside of the sun ony shoulder

37.Tattoos and piercing i wantWhoops jumped the gun. Please refer to 36

38.The reason I joined TumblrMy friends at the time

39.Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope we’re cool

40. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used too from my so. But now its just my good friend manny

41.Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Hmmm no

42. When did I last hold hands?Non romantically:I held hands with my lil sister cuz she doesnt know how to cross a freggin road without getting hit by a car! But romantically: its been over a year and a half.

43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10mins

44.Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?Its been a good 6/7 months. Im at man status rn

45.Where am I right now? Trapped on a bus with zombies from nyc somewhere on the way to newburgh

46.If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? In oswego it would be chance. Here.. idk it hasnt happend.. but my best bet would be nadia

47.Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Both. Depends where i am

48.Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes. Please dont ask how its going. Its not well.

49.Am I excited for anything?Yes. The 3 day weekend

50.Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No i only have 2 chill male friends

51.How often do I wear a fake smile?Often enough

52.When was the last time I hugged someone?That would be last sunday i hugged holly. We went for a movie and a bite n caught up since inhavent seen her in 5ever

53.What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?Its w/e as long as you happy n your not like eating face

54.Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Yea

55.What is something I disliked about today?Evelyn being passive agressive towards me. Makes me uncomf. But i could care less.

56.If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Rebecca sugar

57. What do I think about most? Its gonna be one of 3 things, women, video games, food

58. What’s my strangest talent?I can get really creepy really fast. Iv been told to try out to be villians or serial killers in movies

59.Do I have any strange phobias?Spiders

60.Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both

61. What was the last lie I told?

62.Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Im old skool ill show up at your house ;) jk phone so no one can see this akward mess

63.Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes

64.Do I believe in magic?Yes

65. Do I believe in luck? Yes

66.What’s the weather like right now? Bloody cold

67. What was the last book I’ve read? Allegiant

68. Do I like the smell of gasoline?Addicted

69. Do I have any nicknames?Krys, elmo, jesus

70. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have 12 stiches on my thumb both for cuts by blades oh n the one time i was going down a mt. On my longboard n i fell and got the worst road rash on my ass.

71. Do I spend money or save it?Both

72. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?No

73. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Idts?

74.Favourite animal?Otter

75. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Hehhhh better not say

76. What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Idfk

77.What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Anything fr the last dinosaurs

78. How can you win my heart? Compassion understanding and a drive no one else has.

79.What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Im not gonna be burried.

80. What is my favourite wordOogle

81. My top 5 blogs on tumblr Ill answer later

82.If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83.Do I have any relatives in jail?Yes

84.I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Speed

85.What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Feelings are a tough subject

86. What is my current desktop picture? An image from second son

87. Had sex?Why yes i have

88.Bought condoms?Nopes

89.Gotten pregnant? Nopes too gay for that shit90. Failed a class?Several

91. Kissed a boy? Yep im not a gold star lezzy no more

92. Kissed a girl? Many

93.Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes. Im super cheesey i do things like that all the time

94.Had job?I have a job95.Left the house without my wallet?Keys and liecensexD

96. Bullied someone on the internet? Nope

97.Had sex in public? Yes

98. Played on a sports team? Several

99. Smoked weed? Yasss

100. Did drugs? Ive tried some shit

101. Smoked cigarettes? Never now thats nasty

102. Drank alcohol? Yes

103. Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Never

104. Been overweight?yes

105. Been underweight?yes

106. Been to a wedding?yes

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Days

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight? When i was younger

109. Been outside my home country?yes

110. Gotten my heart broken? Many times

111.Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112. Broken a bone? Do Teeth count?

113. Cut myself? Not on purpose

114. Been to prom? Unfortunaly. Thats an akward story. If i didnt go i coulda stayed in puerto rico longer. But nooo joe had to ask my parents…

115. Been in airplane? Yes

116. Fly by helicopter? No. But ive been in some heavy duty military air craft

117. What concerts have I been to?Walk the moon, in hs i saw i see stars mega concert there were like 20 bands there idr them all, versaemerge, dragonforce

118.Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Yeaaa im megagay

119.Learned another language?I can fully understand spanish. But i cant speak it.

120. Wore make up? Im alergic to eyeliner xD

121.Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yes

123. Had oral sex? Yes.😍

124.Dyed my hair?Ive never dyed my hair

125.Voted in a presidential election? Yes both times for obama♡ . n fuck you, you lil orange dicked cheeto (donald trump)

126.Rode in an ambulance?Yes i did when i sliced my thumb deep with an exacto and was bleeding everywhere

127. Had a surgery?No

128. Met someone famous? Yes i have i met that guy from “what would you do” when i was staying in maryland. Also i stick around after theater shows and concerts to meet the actors, performers, and musicians

129.Stalked someone on a social network?Guilty

130. Peed outside?Um who hasnt?

131. Been fishing?Yes. Anyone wanna join me this spring?

132. Helped with charity? Yea every 3 weeks i participate in a soup kitched in poukipsee with my siblings and my cousins.

133. Been rejected by a crush?I have unfortunate luck.

134. Broken a mirror? Haha yea i did once

135. What do I want for birthday? Id love to go somewhere amazing and warm with awesome people. If im dating someone id love to actually have a birthday kiss. #neverhadoneonmybirthday

136.How many kids do I want and what will be their names?By kids you mean dogs? N id have all of them. Theyd have really crude/harsh spanish names.

137.Was I named after anyone?No but krysten means follower of chridtXD

138.Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

139. What was my favourite toy as a child? Why it was my stuffy scooby doo

140.Favourite Tv Show? Gawd theres so many. But steven universe👌🖒

141.Where do I want to live when older?Puerto rico when i hit the lotto

143. Play any musical instrument? I can play the trumpet, the recorder, basic drum beat, and im learning the uke

144.One of my scars, how did I get it?Sliced my thumb with a woodcutter one year. Then the next year same thumb with a brand new exacto. Landed me in the hosp 2ice total 12 stiches

145.Favourite pizza toping? Extra cheese

146.Am I afraid of the dark? Sometimes. Im more worried bout the it under the bed that comes out when you dont have sheets on.

147.Am I afraid of heights?No. In my stage craft class i was the only one who wasnt scared of heights they sent me high up to work on stuff they also sent me 60ft up to the grid too 😎

148.Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes and i had my ass handed to me on a silver platter several times.

149.Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yes. All the time.

150.What I’m really bad atBeing social. Talking to girls. Drawing.

151.What my greatest achievements are. Being the first to graduate college.

152.The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meYou should see the list of stuff my parents have told me since i was little. Its a little too awful to put on here.

153.What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Top secret Plans back the fuck up

154. What do I like about myself Um my bed head. Idk

155.My closest Tumblr friend Haha nadia

156.Something I fantasise about my exTisk tisk ladies n gents we shouldnt be reopening wounds like this. *points finger n shakes it like a noodle*

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #348

“nothing will be free  /  nothing will be done  /  black out the sun”

Do you have any famous relatives? My third or so cousin is the author of Not Without My Daughter, but she's not like a smash hit or anything that most people know. I really do recommend the book, though. It's a long read, but a beautiful, true story. Do you care about celebrity gossip? Nah. Have you ever failed a science course in high school? No; I was very good at science. What’s your favorite breakfast food? Cinnamon rolls. Does your house have a basement? No. No house I've ever lived in has had one. Do you like Hot Topic? Well duh. Do you think imagination is valuable? VERY! Just imagine how many incredible things wouldn't exist without it. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? Unspeakably happy, and I felt like I was building a future with someone. I felt like I had purpose, which I should mention to anyone reading is a mindset to NEVER adopt. No one gives you purpose; you're born with it. How much weight can you lift at once? Ha, not a lot. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want a black one with faux snow on the branches, then maybe red ornaments. Kinda look like blood dripping off. Sounds metal. Name three YouTube channels you’ve been loving lately. Lately, John Wolfe, The Dark Den, and Aim To Head Mix. Have you ever bought a designer purse? No. Do you wear jewelry often? No. What color was your senior prom dress? Black. Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors, but idr which. Would you ever consider a career in writing? I'd love to. What was your first favorite color? Red. What do you think about horror movies? I love them. If you love them, what’s your favorite? I really enjoy The Crazies and both The Blair Witch Project movies. Oh, and of course Silent Hill. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I don't have the money to get anyone presents... and while I sometimes get ideas about something I could make someone, then it wouldn't be fair to the rest of my family if I don't make them something, too. What’s your favorite word and why? I really like the sound of "serendipity," as well as its meaning. It's just a pretty, nice word. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Not really... I think the coolest thing I made was when I put the clay heart I made in Art into a shadowbox, and a poem I wrote was in the background. It was a gift for Jason. I remember working really hard on the whole process and being really happy with it. I don't want to know what he's done with it since. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? I don't know. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? Everyone knows about Venus' terrarium by now... Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? No. Ever done drugs? No. Tell me one of your worst habits. Catastrophizing. I take a tiny seed of something potentially bad, and in seconds it's a damn redwood tree. And I do mean "in seconds." What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I don't know, I don't have any particularly unique ones, I think. If you game, what type of headset do you use? I just use earbuds. Do you think you would be a good therapist? You know, it's funny, I've actually pictured myself as one a few times, given my level of understanding and empathy for people, as well as how deeply I want to see others succeed and spread the word that recovery from things like depression is very possible. I've never truly entertained the thought, though, given I'm quite sure I legally couldn't be given my suicidal past and mental illnesses. There is also NO way I could listen to so many people's suffering and manage to stay healthy myself, so, no therapist position for me, thanks. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? Creamy, 100%. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Roman has an adorable navy one with a bowtie. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? Old friends, sure. What is something you want to begin learning? I want to improve my ability to perform what in therapy is called "opposite action," where you do the opposite of what your depression (or other conditions) make you want to do. It always helps me feel good, like when I draw even when I don't initially feel like it, but it's rough to really force yourself to do it. What is a food you find comforting when you are sad? Ice cream is my comfort food. What is a quote you find comfort in? There are really a lot, but none come to mind immediately, gah. What is one Tumblr blog you really appreciate? I actually haven't been on my main Tumblr in months, but oh my god there is a Markiplier blog called "lady-raziel" and she is FUCKING HYSTERICAL. The meme quality is A+. What is a comfort movie/show for you? When I actually liked watching movies, I enjoyed watching Silent Hill when I was down. That whole franchise just makes me so happy. What is a recent creative project that you are proud of? That I'm PROUD of, idk. I'm not that happy with the last drawing I made, and I haven't done any serious writing lately that I find noteworthy. What is a video game that you find comforting? Shadow of the Colossus is probably #1. I find it so relaxing while equally epic as fuck. The soundtrack is to die for, and after playing it a billion times, it's pretty easy for me to kinda breeze through and just enjoy myself. Do you know how to bake bread? If so, what is something you’ve baked recently? No. Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest? THE MOUNTAINS!!! Particularly in the woods IN the mountains! Are you closer to your mother’s or father’s side of the family? Mom's. I don't even remember anyone from Dad's. Have you ever been in a “perfect relationship”? I thought so. Have you ever lost a fingernail or toenail? No. Were you a Disney or Nickelodeon kid? I preferred Disney. Have you ever been inside a jail/prison? No, and I don't plan on it. Have you ever dated a guy with a beard, mustache, or goatee? Jason had a goatee usually. He'd go clean-shaven sometimes. Did you ever name your stuffed animals? I named every single one I got as a kid. Now I don't, really, unless they're really special. What’s the name of the person who cuts your hair? I'd rather not share, given her name is very unique. Do you like cheeseburgers? Yes, they're one of my favorite foods. Do you have a Flickr? Yes, but I don't use it anymore. Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? No. Do you drink milk? Yeah, I love milk. Where was your FB display pic taken? My room. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yeah; white rice. My dumb ass didn't realize it had JUST come off the stove. My tongue hurt literally for weeks. Have you ever gotten your legs waxed? No. Do you own any CLOTHES from Victoria’s Secret? Er, are undergarments not clothes? But I know what you mean. No. What are your grandfathers’ names? William and... I can't remember Dad's dad's name. Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Well yeah. Are you against seances? I don't know if I believe in them being effective, but either way, they seem like a bad idea. Even risking luring a negative energy/spirit to you is something I'd stay away from. Do you own any superhero shirts? No, just Harley Quinn ones, some with the Joker on them, too. I need to toss 'em though because I am like, violently against romanticizing their abusive relationship. I used to just like them as a story character couple, but I got to a place where it just seemed... wrong to "glorify" it by wearing merch and stuff. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica, durrrr. Who is the biggest jerk you’ve ever met? Can you believe that would be my former best friend? Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never had an animal in my path. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you like kissing in public? If you're my serious s/o, I could care less, so long as it's a simple peck. I'm not making out in front of people. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don't know. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I don't know. I'm lonely and love feels amazing, but I need to get my life on track before I can be a good partner to someone and not just dead weight. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Huh, funny, he's the one that walked away. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Uhhh that would depend on how serious we are, where we are, and just what mood I'm in. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? ugh What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? also ugh What’s your dirtiest secret? TMI AHEAD. Probably receiving oral while bare-ass naked on the chaise in the living room while we were home alone. Or having sex in my sister’s bed. Oops. Would you ever get lyrics tattooed on yourself? Yeah. I already do, anyway, and I plan on getting another. Can you photoshop images well? I'm decent at it. Where did you last drive to? Mom and I went to go get our Covid vaccines today. What’s the first verse of the last song you listened to? "I don't know what we're supposed to be, but I know we lost it along the way to something better, something so much more than pleasure that we seek, so blind inside to fill these holes left by these lies that we tell to ourselves as we manufacture our own hell." What do you hear right now? The aforementioned song: "BLACKOUT" by 3TEETH. What was the last thing you laughed about? This is so fucking immature lmao but when we were driving earlier, we passed a gas station that had a sign that was advertising Coke, but due to space limitations, it abbreviated to "2 liter Cok" and I cackled like a child. Mom laughed harder than I did. Do you know any gay people personally? Ye. What was the last thing that startled you? I think it was a car hoonking at somebody the other day. What was the last thing to make you even remotely sad? Today's been a kind of rough PTSD day thanks to Facebook. My old high school friend had her beautiful daughter, a childhood friend just got married the other day, another friend is due to have her baby in just a couple weeks... It's just weird but even more painful to know it was the life I once fantasized about with a guy that just dropped me and made a break for it. I hate admitting that there's this deep, deep bitterness in me about it, like he took my life away from me, even though that's of course very unfair to say. I don't want to talk about this anymore, so moving on with my day.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #232

“i’ve never bought a suit before in my life, but when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.”

Do you have trouble typing when the room is dark? No, I don't look at the keyboard. When’s the last time you had a headache? I had an abomination of a three-day-long headache before my cycle like a week or two back or something. How often do you take surveys? Not as much as I used to now that I actually have school, but occasionally. What did you last write on paper? I think some items to Mom's shopping list? Does anything on your body hurt? No. What do you currently hear? "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead. I can hear cars outside, as well as Bentley biting himself incessantly. Sounds gross. Do you have any goals you’re trying to fulfill? As for in the near future, hopefully - I'd pray if I believed in it by this point - start losing weight again. Grow more in my photography, 1.) because I want this so badly and 2.) there's no way I could handle the stress of school and a "real" job but we're in serious need of money right now. I'd really like to make progress with driving too, but I haven't been able to in months because a headlight in broken, the license plate or whatever is expired, and the car can't pass inspection, so Mom doesn't want me at the steering wheel and get pulled over for it. Being on the borderline poverty line is A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you ever do the dishes? I'mma be real, real honest here. Not really. Reason being we don't have a dishwasher and I am super queasy actually hand-cleaning dirty dishes, I get frustrated because I feel I don't clean them well enough (being a germaphobe is also fun), and my OCD goes absolutely insane trying to play Tetris with the drying rack thingy. All that being said, it's my least-favorite chore. At your house, does everyone eat together as a family? No. We started to drift apart when I was... maybe a pre-teen? When did you last have butterflies in your stomach? Sara decided she wanted to try making out and I was fucking terrified of going too far or scaring her. Are you independent or dependent? I'm embarrassingly dependent. Who last made you smile? My pup. How did you find Bzoink? Taking surveys for so long. What’s your dream job? If travel and heat weren't considered, a meerkat biologist. Do you brush your teeth twice every day? Just once. Do you have a pool? No. Are the streetlights on? We don't have streetlights on my road. When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? Not unless I'm really cold. Do you trust anyone, besides yourself, fully? Sara. I would say Mom, but I'm entirely aware she's lied and made stories up about Dad. Do you believe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I've never really understood this. People change. Are you in any advanced classes at school? I bypassed the freshman English class, yeah. Well, is that considered "advanced?" I don't believe it's like an AP course or anything, but it's not a class I'm supposed to be taking as a freshman, so??? How often do you eat your favorite food? Every once in a while. Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) Probably. What was the last TV show you watched? Uhhhh I think it was all the way back when Colleen and I were still friends and we checked out The Good Doctor. Or it was either Parks and Recreation with Sara and her family or Avatar: The Last Airbender, also with Sara. Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? The beach with Colleen, her husband, and their son. Well, does that count since it was only for a day? Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don't have a job. What’s your favorite type of donut? It varies between chocolate frosted, glazed, and plain. What do you usually eat for breakfast? If I even eat, it'll probably be like, a meal replacement shake or Pop-Tart. Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Surprisingly. When was the last time you went out for dinner? Like at a sit-down restaurant? Hm. I think it was El Tapatio with my mom and Nicole maybe near two months ago. What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? Idr, something to Mom. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? Like zero, usually. Have you cooked anything today? What was it? No. Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Yeah. I'm not sharing all their names on the Internet, and besides, I don't even know most. What does your shampoo smell like? I don’t know. What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? I don't remember, even though I got out of the shower like an hour ago. Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? No, I barely ever watch movies. Why did you last go see a doctor? The primary reason was for my night terrors. Do you know how to play Minesweeper? No. What was the last thing you bought online? A new heat lamp for my snake Venus. Where do you usually park your car? I don't have a car, but Mom parks in the driveway behind the house. Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It's put in the mailbox on the other side of the road. Are you more logical or creative? Creative, I'd say. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Usually. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Pretty much never. Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can curl it a little bit, but my snake eyes piercing prevents me from doing it all that well. What was the last job interview you went to? For a deli position at a Food Lion. Got the job, lasted not even two hours. :^) What embarrassing music do you listen to? I'm not really *embarrassed* of any I listen to. Just kinda surprising to admit to some people sometimes. What’s your biggest talent? Writing, I guess? What’s the best gift you ever received? My dog. What fear would you like to overcome? More than ANYTHING? Probably being judged in a negative way or being seen as "weird," and not in a good way. AvPD is a bitch and makes me less open about myself (mostly just irl, but yeah), which I REALLY don't like. Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? Hm, hang-glide, maybe. I dunno. What habit would you like to break? Procrastinating, lately. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I can think of a few, but here's the one that had the most biggest effect on me, I think. There was one time Jason and I were kissing, I told him I loved him, and he whispered, "I love you too, wife," before going back to kissing me. Remembering that still hurts, a lot. I know now us separating was for the better, I don't want someone who doesn't have faith in my strength, just the memories like those from the time I was convinced our love story was a fairy tale are very painful. Just typing it caused a discomfort in my stomach. What’s your worst personality trait? Laziness, probably. Or impulsiveness. Have you ever cheated on a test? No. What’s your favorite karaoke song? I don't sing karaoke. Do you know anyone with two different colored eyes? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you bought for someone else? Sara's anniversary present, which was a pillow that said something along the lines of, "Hug this pillow until you can hug me" or something. Do you like hot fudge sundaes? My fat ass can't even associate with you if you don't like HOT FUDGE SUNDAES????????????? Do you like to sleep a lot? It's funny, I tend to like naps during the day, yet I don't look forward to trying to go to sleep at night. It always takes longer, and there's also the possibility of just waking back up and struggling to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been in a class that you thought you were too smart for? I don't think so. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. We had a mandatory typing course in middle school, so I learned it exceptionally well. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Maybe Sara? Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? NO. I am very conscious of not expressing my anger with physical violence of any sort. How much do you get paid at your current job? N/A Are your friends mostly older than you or younger than you? I think younger. Would you ever get a pet tarantula? Nah. Do you want to dye your hair? Ugh, you have no idea. What’s your favorite zoo animal? Meerkats, duh. Is there anything in your room you’d be ashamed to show to your parents? I'm VERY self-conscious of my artwork, so I'd be mortified if my mom saw my drawings, even though there's nothing "wrong" with them. I'm just shy about 'em. Have you ever accused someone of cheating when they weren’t? Yeah, hence the end of that day-long relationship. Him cheating was a lie from his insane ex, but at the time, I just believed it, but it was absolutely for the better. He wasn't for me. I really shoulda just listened when my art teacher literally took me aside one day and warned me about him. Wha'd'ya know, he wound up on house arrest or something similar, and who the hell knows what he's done by now. When was the last time you played hide and seek? I played with my niece and nephew some months ago. Don’t you hate when people stare at you? Fuckin' yes. I'm too self-conscious for that shit. Have you ever accidentally caught yourself on fire? Well thank god no. Are you Jewish? No. Does anyone copy the things you do? No. Is your dad still alive? Yes, yay. Have you done anything lately that you instantly felt was a mistake? Possibly. What melts your heart/makes your knees weak? Watching Mark with kids causes me severe physical pain. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? Freaky. Parasite Eve first made me think "oh shit what if this could actually happen," and I've also watched a Shane Dawson video about it, and the idea of it possibly being a real thing is absolutely terrifying. How many dryer sheets do you put in an average load of laundry? I think Mom uses one or two? I dunno. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? No. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. Do you have a sexual fantasy? ...What is it? There's probably something I could think up. Maybe like bang on a church pew or something lmao idk. Who was the last person to insult you? I'm not sure. What color is your brush/comb/whatever? White. Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? It is almost entirely impossible. Have you ever purposely given someone wrong directions? No, but then again, it's not like I even give them. I have a horrible sense of direction and don't know street names, highway numbers and locations... What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend? I'm not sure. Everything is fun with her. Are you easily offended? It depends. In most contexts, no. Have you ever acted as tour guide for friends/relatives from out of town? Not really. If you were an anime character, would you be a yandere or a tsundere? HAHAHA I AM PAINFULLY A YANDERE. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? No, because I like to see. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Ha ha, this reminds me tho, I can't recall if he did it once or just WANTED to, but my brother may have gone into one, yelled "BINGO," and immediately left. Did your parents ever collect any magazines they didn’t want you to read? Uhhhh no. I'm quiiiiite sure neither of my parents had those. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? No. I probably would if I had excess money and really believed in it, though. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? Because Jason's favorite thing in the world was the Joker, seeing purple and bright green together is one I just prefer not to see. I wouldn't call it a PTSD trigger, like I don't freak out about it, it's just like an "ugh ew" sorta thing. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? No. I cringe 90% of the time when they pop up. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. Have you ever had to provide an alibi for something? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I have a Batman one I'm trying to shrink back into that says something like "I wish I was Batman but I'm poor and hate fighting" & I love it. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Idk off the top of my head. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? Cats, I think? If so, what did you do with it? Fed it with the other cats, and I'd assume Mom would've called the owner's number if given. If you could grow a beard or a mustache, would you? I'm a cisgender female so like... Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? I'm proud of just how deeply and genuinely I care about people. And my writing and photography, mostly. What does the nicest dish set you own look like? All our dishes are literally the same, and they're ancient. I think they were my grandma's but given to Mom. Pattern's worn and everything. They're ceramic with a floral design. Why did you stop working at the last place you were employed? I absolutely cannot be in a position of responsibility or customer service, and the environment was way too busy. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? I... don't know how I would react? Picturing it, I first feel like I'd be so happy for him, but I KNOW my PTSD would act up at some point shortly after and I would probably end up in a bawling ball (lol "bowling ball" that wasn't intended sorry) because "that was supposed to be me," but then I'd be fine again after I got all that emotion out. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in front of you? Someone at school. You can smoke outside, and it's the one thing I don't like about my college. Are you very close to your siblings? Not nearly as close as I wish we were. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a dishwasher? No. What is the worst lie you’ve ever told? I don't like talking about it. Well, it wasn't a lie, but I stretched the truth because anxiety's a goddamn asshole. Where is the last place you drove to? I drove to, probably home. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. I may even like the live-action remake more, but I can't say with certainty. Do you have a fan in your room? Yeah. What color is your lampshade? I don't have a lamp. Do you like to wear belts? Not anymore. What is the most expensive electronic in your room? This laptop. Only a year old and yet it's so abused with how much it's used. Are you involved with any charity work? I wish I was in the position where I could, anyway. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Have you ever hatched an egg? OKAY SO! I remember in elementary school, maybe like 1st grade or something, we incubated a chicken egg and hatched it. I can't remember where it went. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No, I rarely do. What brand shampoo do you use? Suave. When is the last time you went to an amusement park? Years ago shortly before the breakup with Jason and Dillon. Or Dustin. Whatever his name was. Do you have a garden shed in your backyard? Nope. Are you obsessed with anything? Y'all know I don't know how to love in moderation, not even remotely. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I hate diet, and the artificial sweetener also gives me serious headaches. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom, maybe? What did you do when you found out Michael Jackson died? We were swimming in the pool while Mom or Dad was grilling, idr. What’s your best friend’s favorite band? Pink Floyd, Evanescence, and Within Temptation. What’s your favorite kind of beer? Never tried it, don't want to. How do you get songs out of your head? Binge it 'til I'm tired of it lmao. Have you seen all the High School Musicals? I've only seen the first two. Do you dress appropriately for your age? I don't know? Probably not? Do "normal" 23-year-olds wear graphic tees? What’s your favorite word? "Serendipity." What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? A serious stomach virus that made me puke all the food I'd eaten since birth. Do you take compliments well? Of course I appreciate them, but I get shy. Are excessive piercings sexy or trashy? Well they're definitely not "trashy," but SERIOUSLY excessive ones, I don't usually find attractive. But it really depends on the person, the size, and where. What do you put on toast? Cinnamon, sugar, and butter. The Southern cinnamon toast. Have you ever watched Fear Factor? I LOVED it when I was younger, and I still enjoy it if I happen to see it. Joe Rogan was one of my earliest crushes, too. How many songs do you have on iTunes? Over 1k. What song reminds you of summer? MAN I remember as a kid, back when I liked country, my sisters and I loved "When The Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney. Big summer vibes. Has a bird ever flown into your window? OH WOW I don't think so, but I do remember one flew into the car's grill when I was very young and going on a trip. Safe to say it died.