#i am actually super sick and i cannot not draw properly

[substorysketches]

Yakuza Kiwami - 015 - The Bouncer

4/21/2024

[wolfstar-in-color]

July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.

There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.

It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”

You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.

Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that. 

Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.

There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.

Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?

We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him. 

Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things. 

Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation. 

Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit. 

Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??

We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do). 

This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster. 

Colorfully,

Mod Theo

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of July 10th, 2019

Best of this Week: Batman and the Outsiders #3 - Bryan Hill, Dexter Soy, Veronica Gandini and Clayton Cowles

Batman’s Outsiders has a lot to learn before they can properly function as a team.

After losing Sofia, the girl that they were charged with protecting, Baman gathers the team together and tells them that they are going to get her back, but first they need to be tested. On the other side of the coin, Sofia finds herself in the clutches of Ra’s al Ghul, who places the man who killed her father in front of her. Ra’s tells her to kill him, her own test to see if she’s worthy of being trained by him.

The book flips the focus between two central characters specifically, those being Sofia and Duke Thomas, aka The Signal. As mentioned in my last review of Batman and the Outsiders, this book was slated to come out around the same time or after an arc in Detective Comics where Batman’s sidekicks were being targeted by a murderous villain by the name of Karma. His primary targets were the Cassandra Cain and Duke Thomas, the latter of whom is still suffering from PTSD after failing to save a kid with a bomb strapped to him by Karma and being injured in the explosion.

Ishmael, the man who killed Sofia’s father, kneels before her and goads her into attacking him, telling her that he heard her father’s last thoughts before he died. He says that her father wishes that she were killed instead of him and Sofia succumbs to her anger, striking Ishmael. After a smokescreen clears, Duke is met by someone wearing Karma’s gear and attacks the figure in a rage. “Karma” tries to convince Duke that he doesn’t deserve the metahuman power that he has, the ability to see what others cannot (see Dark Knights: Metal), and that Batman must be disappointed.

After thoroughly thrashing Ishmael, Ra’s gives Sofia a sword, telling her to end Ishmael and become another of his weapons. She holds the sword in her hands and thinks long and hard about her decision. Ultimately, she decides that vengeance is the only option and chooses to plunge the blade into Ishmael. Ra’s reveals the test for what it is, allowing Ishmael to defend himself and telling Sofia that if she joins him, nothing will hurt her again.

Cornered and afraid, Karma approaches Duke and asks him where is his team now, making him think that The Signal is all alone. Suddenly, Cassandra kicks Karma in the face, Katana slashes him in the face of the mask and Black Lightning picks the kid up from the ground. Bruce reveals that he was the one under Karma’s mask and tells Duke that he is very proud of him.

This issue was made great by the duality of the situations presented. Batman normally takes in broken kids and builds them back up to be strong, compassionate and in tune with their emotions. Ra’s al Ghul takes young men and women and turns them into unrepentant killing machines under his will. Duke could just as easily have been in the same position that Sofia is in now and vice versa. Sofia, however, will be a harder case to bring back to the light now that she knows that she has given in to her darker side. Sofia has a chance to become like Damian if she’s lucky, but who’s to say?

Duke has already been to the dark depths since his late childhood, watching his parents get forever Jokerized, dealing with an army of wannabe Joker kids as a teen and fighting against the Dark Multiverse as Batman’s new ward. Duke has been through a lot, but he’s also been able to overcome every threat in his way. Karma took that security away from him when he made Duke watch his own failure and this left the young man angry and broken, unwilling to take orders from anyone lest he make the same mistakes again.

Batman and the Outsiders succeeds at placing it’s focus on characters other than Batman, leaving him as more of a support player while the stories hone in on individuals or team dynamics than Batman’s leadership. Duke Thomas has been out of the picture for a while and having the gates flood open on his headspace in particular made me very happy. I also kind of like Sofia. While not exactly super fleshed out yet, she shows a lot of promise especially making the decision to have this new character go down a dark path in the beginning. She has good motivations and I actually hope that by the end of this arc, she earns a place on the team properly.

High recommend.

---------------------------------------------------

Tom King’s Batman can be hit or miss sometimes, but this one is definitely a hit.

Runner Up: Batman #74 - Tom King, Mikel Janin, Jordie Bellaire and Clayton Cowles

For the entirety of his superhero career, Batman has been driven by one singular goal: to make sure what happened to him as a child didn't happen to anyone else. He's vowed to protect the streets of Gotham and to honor the memory of his parents and the city they loved.

This vow has become increasingly harder to honor over the course of this run; from being unable to save a possible replacement in the Superman-like Gotham, to being told to stop being Batman by his father from an alternate universe, and ultimately being left at the altar by the love of his life. One man is responsible for it all, Bane.

Part of the (admittedly) convoluted scheme to break the Batman was to somehow bring the Flashpoint Batman from his Universe to finally convince his son to stop. Thomas rationalizes that all Bruce needs is the love of his parents and his sickness, his broken need to be Batman will go away. As revealed in the last issue, Thomas' goal is to resurrect Martha Wayne in Ra's al Ghul's most powerful Lazarus Pit and reunite the Wayne family. 

Mikel Janín's art remains amazing as always. I could gush for days about how he's able to make Thomas and Bruce solemnly expressive through body language and only using the lower halves of their faces, but Jordie Bellaire, is the real star of this issue. She manages to color this story in a way that makes it seem like it takes place in three acts.

The first act takes place in the beautiful drawn and barren desert after Bruce and Thomas reconnect while fighting Ra's ninjas. Everything is bright and the yellows, contrasted to the Blacks of the Bats give things a slightly warm feel. Thomas is happy for his son to join him and give up his crusade.

The second act shows Bruce and Thomas reaching the edge of the pit and is coated in the cool blue hues of night. The scene feels somber and intimate as Thomas tells Bruce how stubborn he was as a child, crying because he wanted to hear his favorite story over and over until he fell asleep. Thomas says that Bruce absolutely got that from his mother, who would constantly insist that Thomas read him that story, how she always had faith that Bruce would sleep. The two begin to climb down into the pit.

Throughout the issue the Russian Folk Tale, “Animals in the Pit” had been told and spoken about in the usual Tom King style. The tale involves a group of animals that get trapped in a pit and perform contests where the loser gets eaten. In the end, one of the two remaining animals tricks the other into ripping himself open and feasts on his flesh.

In the final act, in the dark of the pit, the book takes on a harsh red hue. Thomas is finally there, at the end of his journey to give his son the happiness and family he deserves. Saying that he couldn't deny Bruce his childish wishes as a kid, but now he will deny him remaining Batman. 

Bruce tells him that the reason he wanted to hear the story constantly was because, despite the horror, his father told him the story with a bit of levity. Bruce gained hope that one of the animals just might escape and even if he knew it was impossible, he never gave up hope. He then betrays his father with a right cross to the face.

Janín can draw a beautiful, flashy fight scene when he wants to, but this fight is anything but. It's raw and brutal, it's close quarters and every emotion is felt, accentuated by the excellent coloring. Bruce punches his father, Thomas punches his son right back. Even when the fight pivots away from them to focus on the coffin, the tension is still there. Their ideological struggle is felt through the shadows on the wall and when Thomas is thrown into the coffin, things spiral downward for him.

Right on the heels of the hopefully amazing “City of Bane” storyline, this two issue filler arc strengthens Batman’s resolve for what will be the final confrontation with one of his greatest enemies and all of his pawns in Tom King’s Batman run. While the issue does suffer from the usual King-isms (long winded diatribes taking up entire pages, lack of explanation for possibly crucial plot points, like how Thomas came to this world, and the general pretentiousness in dialogue structure) they don’t pull the issue down in a distracting way. While mildly annoying, they fit this story very well and continue to expand on Bruce’s reverence for his mother, introduced in the “I Am Suicide” arc and furthers him being resolute in his mission.

Bane’s going to have hell to pay when the Batman comes for him. High recommend.

[kayluh1915]

My Final Post on Anthony*

*until he gets his shit together

So, as you all may or may not remember, I made A POST after Anthony’s atrocious April Fools day video claiming that I was DONE with Anthony... and I was... but not fully. While I did unsub from his channel (which was long overdue) I still followed him on Instagram and Twitter and actually left my tweet notifications on for him. I also answered SEVERAL other questions about Anthony through my inbox. However, this post is the last time I am mentioning Anthony on this blog as an independent creator.*

This post is nothing more than one big ass critique of Anthony and his content. This is my last shot at trying to reach out to Anthony to make some changes because after this, I’m done.* I WANT him and his channel to succeed so bad that seeing him fail like this and knowing that it’s his fault makes me sick. This post will show you why me and so many others are SO angry and will show you that Anthony knows what he’s doing, but for some reason continues to ignore us while he quietly loses subs and followers by the THOUSANDS monthly in the background. I CARE about Anthony and WANT him to succeed. That’s why I’m making this post. To try and help him (if he’ll listen) and show people that he is MUCH MORE than the content he’s putting out. However, if he doesn’t care, then I can’t care anymore. LAST SHOT!

Feel free to send this link to him through Twitter if you have the balls (cause I sure as hell don’t)! I WANT him to see it.

Buckle up, kiddo’s! It’s a long one!

Anthony’s content changes at the drop of a hat. I’ve honestly seen more consistency out of a fucking camelaian. You CANNOT be inconsistent on YouTube if you hope to succeed. Sure, changing things up once in a while isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but changing every few months just pander to some people is channel suicide. It may get you a couple of extra views at first, but you will lose the audience you already had because you are no longer who they subbed to in the first place.

When he first left S*osh, I think his plan to build an audience was to ride over most of the subs he had from S*osh while also collabing with a few well known solo creators to gain attention from people who didn’t watch S*osh. Not a bad plan to start off with, however he most likely did not gain as many S*osh subs as he thought he was going to, so he panicked and started using the dirtiest tricks in the book to get seen such as clickbait and LOADS of collabs as seen below which was the wrong response. The correct response was just to continue with what YOU wanted to make while also finding a balance with videos WE wanted to see and eventually the subs would have followed because they liked who YOU were... but he did not do this.

After the collab phase (which lasted about three months), I believe he tried to move on with videos he wanted to make which was the videos where he portrays a socially inept character. This within itself IS NOT the issue, it’s HOW he went about it. When creating a character persona separate from yourself, it’s important to let the audience know when you’re the character and when you’re you. You don’t have to come flat out and be like: “Yo, I’m Anthony today guys!” you can easily do this by giving your character a name or by SEPARATING how YOU act and how your CHARACTER acts. It’s just enough context clues for your audience to figure it out. Anthony fails at this. When your audience doesn’t see the character line, they get confused and wonder why the hell you’re acting so foolish. Most don’t get it. It makes the line even more blurry when you market a channel and social media as YOU and instead just use it as another outlet for your character or for promotion of said character. Newcomers have no line to see and it makes it almost impossible for the average viewer to get what you’re doing. You just look like an idiot to them... which most won’t subscribe to.

This is why, I believe, his videos without another popular creator or subject in the title barely breaks 100k which is MUCH lower than he probably anticipated which, again, caused him to panic and go back to clickbait. His titles ARE NOT creative and is using basic psychology to draw people in weather he realises it or not. Using titles like “I’M SORRY!”, “COUPLE GETS THEIR TEST RESULTS!” and “THE REAL REASON WHY I LEFT S*OSH!” makes you wonder. Why is he sorry? What did he do? What test? What test did they take? What’s the real reason? Our brains naturally want to complete things, so the average viewer will click on it because they HAVE TO KNOW by the nature of their brain. In my personal opinion, it is a DISGUSTING tatic of trying to get an audience. If you rely on clickbait, it shows me that you’re either:

A) Uneducated with the YouTube algorithm and don’t know a better way...

Except Anthony DOES know a better way and is well educated about the algorithm. How do I know? Well, in THIS episode of Game Theory, MatPat mentions that he worked with Smosh (AKA: Ian and Anthony) to help them with their audience. He’s also mentioned working with them several other times in other meta theories that he has done. So Anthony:

B) Understands how to properly build an audience and is WELL educated with the algorithm, but instead uses the knowledge to manipulate people into subbing instead of showing them that he is deserving of their sub.

While collabling and clickbait CAN help reach out to more people who would otherwise not see your channel, COMPLETELY relying on it is just PURE LAZINESS. I can understand using those tactics like once a month or further apart, but every other video!? If you want to succeed, you have to maintain a BALANCE between what people want to see and what you want to make. Just flat out relying on the algorithm to build your audience for you isn’t going to get you very far.

As gross as these tricks are, it didn’t boost him too much. He’s gaining in views, but his sub count is unsteady. The appropriate response to this is to continue doing what you were doing but start making subtle changes to help draw a character line and to subtly help the average viewer get your humor by dumbing it down a bit. I personally don’t think his humour is funny. The timing is TOO LONG and there’s no base for his joke which leave many seeking out Google to get the punchline. Dumbing down the humor and finding a balance between your normal humor will help bring in more average viewers. Also finding a balance between manipulative tactics and YOUR OWN content would also be a WONDERFUL response. This will in turn eventually grow your subcount to where you don’t even have to manipulate people into watching your content or subbing to you. My channel is practically dead and even I know that you can’t pull the BS that’s he’s pulling and make money off of it to pay for your fancy house that Gerard Way used to own.

To this very day, his sub count is EXTREMELY unsteady. According to his SOCIAL BLADE, while he is gaining a little subs, he’s losing a lot too. He’ll go for about a week or two gaining anywhere from 50 to 300 new subs a day to losing 100-400 a day for a solid 4-7 days.

It’s not a steady a count that you see with most successful channels. For example, many consider S*osh to be dead now, but their Social Blade tells a TOTALLY different story.

While not that impressive, at least it’s STEADY. They gain an average of 1,500 a day with only one bad day within a two week time span. THEY’RE GROWING... not fast, but still growing.

Between April 29th to May 8th, Anthony gained 1,484 subs, but between May 9th to May 14th, he LOST 1,913 which means that even on his good days, he ends up losing them later on during his bad weeks which isn’t great if you’re hoping to build an audience. He’s not growing... wonder why, guys?

THIS is why we’re angry at Anthony. We KNOW he’s better than riding off of the algorithm. He is a genuinely funny guy when TRIES to be, but all this pandering bull shit is pushing people away from him. He thinks it’s getting more views and subs, but it’s not. In fact, his Twitter and Instagram is FAR worse than his channel.

His TWITTER only had ONE good day in a two week time frame.

His INSTAGRAM is worse, losing an average of 600 a day and 19,000 within a month.

Weather you agree with me or not, numbers don’t lie and it’s CLEAR that he is doing something wrong to be losing so many followers and subs. Also, that “SUPER HILARIOUS” 4/20 JOKE he made the other day on Twitter with who he’s following, yeah he did that on purpose just to make a weed “joke.” It’s equivalent to your 10-year-old brother who just found a YouTube playlist full of MLG meme comps.

Don’t believe me? CHECK IT.

The dates even line up.

He keeps using these minuliptive techniques and won’t even TRY to make regular content and his numbers are suffering for it. For someone who’s obsessed with them, he sure doesn’t seem to want to build them.

Also, this isn’t about me being upset with his content. As long as he���s happy, I don’t care what he makes AS LONG as it lives up to his potential. IT DOESN’T. It doesn’t even come CLOSE to what he’s capable of. He could EASILY be one of the top YouTube channels if he gave a damn and TIRED. He’s not trying, HE’S MANIPULATING and it’s ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE for someone who once shone brighter than the sun not just to me, but everyone else. This new channel and “Anthony’s” behavior his A MESS and a disaster waiting to happen. You may have your mindless subs who buy your poorly made merchandise fooled, but you don’t have me fooled. If you have ANY hope of wanting to pay for your fancy house, bills, or anything you want, YOU BETTER start making some changes because you ARE GOING TO FALL eventually. You can’t keep running from who you are. Eventually, you will grow tired of trying to be someone you’re not and when you do, the people you tried so hard to please will be gone. You’ve already lost me who’s been nothing but loyal to you and Ian for over four years... who’s next?

I’m FUCKING COMPLETELY DONE!!!!!!!*

[perlukafarinn]

ok, prompt! brave but lonely stanford-era dean, abandoned by sam and john, runs into super badass makes-demons-flee-in-terror angel cas, with all the angel power originally implied in season 4, except without the apocalypse backstory? and if you're so inclined, a follow-up where "normal" lawyer sam is reunited with his loser bro years later only to be totally blindsided by how dean's matured and happy and more true to himself than sam is?

Deep down, Dean always knew he was gonna die young. He just didn’t expect to die alone, with Sam at Stanford and Dad off chasing whatever thing killed Mom by himself.

As his back hits the wall of the abandoned factory these monsters holed up in - and Dean doesn’t even know the particular type of ugly that’s about to kill him - Dean can’t help but wish they were here with him. He knows it’s selfish. These suckers outnumber him ten to one so Sam and Dad would probably be going down with him if they were here. But then again, he’s always been selfish. 

He raises his gun, prepared to defend himself to the last even if the bullets don’t seem to do squat against these things, when a huge flash of white washes across his vision, followed by deafening thunder. Dean blinks, heart hammering and hands trembling, but he can’t see shit. Can only hear the terrified, inhuman shrieks. 

By the time his vision clears, the monsters all lie dead at his feet, and in the middle of the carnage stands a perfectly ordinary looking dude in a beige trenchcoat.

Dean trains his gun on him. “Who the hell are you?”

“Your savior.” The guy’s voice is deep and gravelly and there’s something unearthly about him that Dean can’t quite place, despite his unassuming appearance. “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Dean says, and shoots.

The guy doesn’t even flinch when the bullet hits. There’s no blood, either, and if Dean needed any confirmation that he was in even deeper shit than before, this is it.

“What the hell are you?” he amends, hoping to God he doesn’t sound as spooked as he feels.

The guy glances down at his chest, then back up at Dean. “I am Castiel, angel of the Lord.”

Dean scoffs. “There’s no such-”

Before he can even finish speaking, the guy - Castiel - disappears before his eyes. Dean looks around wildly, but there’s no trace of him. No hint left of his existence except the dead and still unidentified monsters littering the floor. 

Dean waits a couple of minutes, but nothing else happens. Finally, he holsters his gun and gets the hell out of dodge. 

*

A couple of months pass after that, and Dean is ready to chalk it all up to some fever dream. Then he finds himself surrounded on a hunt and without back-up again, staring down the inky black eyes of what can only be freaking demons. 

On instinct he calls out, “If you’re real, Castiel, now would be a real choice fucking moment to show up.”

The demon closest to him chuckles. “I knew you were desperate, but praying to angels? Those winged dick-bags abandoned this plane long ago.”

He takes a step closer to Dean, who find himself backed into a corner without even so much as a useless weapon this time around. He almost weeps with relief when Castiel pops up behind the demons.

“Close your eyes,” he commands and Dean doesn’t think twice before obeying, seeing Castiel reach for the nearest demon’s head just before his eyes snap shut.

A series of brilliant white lights flash beyond his eyelids and he hears the sickening thud of a lifeless bodies hitting the ground. By the time he opens his eyes again, Castiel is standing above the smoking, eyeless remains of the demons’ vessels.

“Holy shit,” Dean breathes. “You gotta teach me that trick.”

“It cannot be taught,” Castiel says. He’s staring down at the demons and when he looks back up at Dean he frowns. “You’re hurt.”

Dean reaches for the bleeding gash on his forehead on instinct before dropping his hand. “Uh, yeah. Kinda comes with the territory.”

He’s not expecting Castiel to step closer. He flinches away when he reaches out, but Castiel’s touch is gentle as he rests his fingertips around the wound, warmth emanating from them and erasing the pain.

He draws away and Dean reaches for his forehead, finding it completely healed.

“Holy shit,” Dean repeats softly. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“I can’t ignore direct prayers,” Castiel says. “So I would appreciate it if you only called me for emergencies from now on.”

Dean scoffs, the warmth from Castiel’s healing touch instantly gone. “That was an emergency, dude. Those were demons!”

“If you had bothered to learn a simple exorcism, you could have taken care of them on your own.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that demons would be after me?” Dean demands. “They’re not exactly common.”

“Perhaps not, but you are a high value target.”

A shiver runs down Dean’s spine. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Instead of answering, Castiel up and fucking disappears. Again.

“You really gotta stop ending conversations this way,” Dean shouts into the empty room. “It’s rude!”

*

The next time Castiel shows up, Dean isn’t even in mortal danger. Really. He totally could have taken down that werewolf by himself.

“It would have ripped your throat out five seconds after I showed up,” Castiel informs him as he helps Dean to his feet. It’s the first time he’s touched Dean since he healed him.

“Then you cut it kinda close, don’t you think?”

Castiel ignores him. As usual. “Why can’t you stay out of trouble?”

“I’m a hunter,” Dean says. “Looking for trouble is kind of in the job description. And it’s not so easy doing it by yourself, okay?”

“Then why are you by yourself?”

Dean’s jaw snaps shut. That is not a conversation he’s gonna have with Castiel, or anyone, ever. “Aren’t you normally gone by now?”

Castiel blinks. If Dean didn’t know better, he’d say he looks offended. “If that is what you want.”

He doesn’t give Dean a chance to tell him that no, the last thing he wants is to be left alone. Just disappears. Again.

“You’d think an angel would have thicker skin,” Dean mumbles to himself. He’s not disappointed by Castiel up and leaving again. He’s not.

*

Another couple of months pass before Castiel shows up again. Dean has been hunting with Dad some, though of course that was never gonna last, and soon enough he finds himself alone and overpowered yet again.

What the fuck is it about him that attracts these demons?

“It’s your soul,” Castiel tells him when he asks. “It shines like a beacon.”

“Well, that’s not at all disturbing,” Dean mutters. He turns to Castiel and says a little louder, “At least stick around long enough to let me buy you a drink this time.”

He flushes a little, only realizing once he’s said it how it sounds. But Castiel doesn’t seem to pick up on the unspoken offer underneath. Which is good, because it’s absolutely not there. Dean just wants to thank the dude for saving his life, it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s unfairly attractive.

“I don’t need to drink,” Castiel says. Then, seemingly as an afterthought, “Or eat.”

“Forget ‘need’,” Dean tells him, stepping up to Castiel and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

His body is more built than it appears underneath that trenchcoat but more than that, it’s hard and unyielding in a way human bodies aren’t. Dean briefly wonders whether he could get that to change, whether Castiel would melt against him if he only touched him the right way, before quickly shaking himself. That is a dangerous train of thought.

“Just let me treat you,” he says, squeezing Castiel’s shoulder.

Castiel frowns but doesn’t protest as Dean leads him outside to the Impala. He gets into the passenger seat as ordered and although he frowns when Dean turns the radio on, he doesn’t complain when ‘Immigrant Song’ starts playing at full blast. 

Dean grins as he pulls onto the road, giddy despite himself. 

It takes a couple of hours to find a decent bar but once they do, Dean sits Castiel down in a corner booth and goes up to the bar to order them five shots each. Might as well see what the alcohol tolerance of angels is.

He sits down across from Castiel, followed by the waitress who brings them their shots on a tray. Dean divides them between the two of them, smirking at Castiel.

“Just throw them back, one by one,” he instructs. “But stop if you’re feeling sick.”

Castiel frowns. He slowly lowers his gaze to the shots, then picks up the first one and downs it in one smooth sip. “It tastes unpleasant,” he tells Dean after he’s swallowed.

“That’s why you drink them so fast.”

Castiel doesn’t seem any closer to understanding, but he grabs the next shot and downs it. Then the next, and the next.

Dean whistles. “Might wanna slow down there.”

Castiel ignores him, grabbing his last shot and drinking it. “I think,” he says slowly after swallowing it,“that it’s beginning to affect me.”

Dean’s eyebrows fly up. Wordlessly, he slides his own shots across the table to Castiel, then flags down the waitress to bring them ten more.

This is gonna cost him.

Dean ends up drinking only a couple of shots and a bottle of beer himself, leaving the rest to Castiel. Even so, they barely seem to affect him.

“That is some party trick,” Dean tells him as they leave the bar. “How much do you reckon will take to get you properly drunk?”

“I don’t know,” Castiel admits. Despite not really being drunk, he’s at least a little looser than before, and he actually smiles at Dean when Dean wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him close for support. “I have never imbibed alcohol before.”

“Next time you’re paying for your own damn shots,” Dean tells him. 

They reach the Impala and as Dean leans against her door, somehow the most natural thing in the world seems to be to pull Castiel in close by the lapels of his stupid coat and kiss him.

Castiel pulls away at the first touch of their lips, looking bewildered. “Dean, I-”

Dean lets go of him, shame burning in his gut. “Fuck, sorry. I have no idea what I was- fucking stupid, of course you wouldn’t be interested in-”

“I am interested,” Castiel cuts him off. He grimaces. “But I shouldn’t… I can’t.”

He gives Dean an imploring look, pleading with him to understand, and Dean fucking gets it, okay? He isn’t meant to have nice things. It figures the first guy - the first person - he’s been attracted to in a long while isn’t even capable of reciprocating.

“They’re probably missing you up in heaven,” Dean mutters, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

Castiel tries to catch his gaze but Dean studiously avoids it, looking over his shoulder instead. Castiel sighs, and then he’s off. This close, Dean can feel the slight breeze caused by his departure. 

He stands rooted to the spot for a good five minutes, until the night chill has made his toes numb.

The next time Cas shows up, Dean isn’t even hunting. Rather, it’s after a hunt and he’s sitting at a bar by himself, nursing a whiskey and a pounding headache.

“I’m sure that isn’t helping,” Cas tells him.

He raises his hand towards Dean, who bats it away.

“It’s just a small concussion,” he slurs. “Nuthin’ to worry about.”

“You’re in pain,” Cas says. “I would say that is something to worry about.”

“I deserve it,” Dean mumbles. “Got sloppy. How the hell’m I s’pposed to save people if I can’t even take care of myself?”

Cas doesn’t answer. Dean downs the rest of his drink and turns his way, stomach twisting at the frown Cas is sporting. What’s he got to look so unhappy about? Dean’s the one who keeps getting ditched by everyone.

“Y’got something to say?” he challenges.

Cas glares at him. “You shouldn’t treat your life or your well-being so lightly.”

Dean throws out his hands, grinning bitterly. “No one else cares, do they? So why should I?”

Suddenly, Cas grabs his shoulder and yanks at him. For one split second, Dean is tumbling down from the bar stool, and then his surroundings are changing, the dinky bar replaced by a darkly lit motel room, and Dean is falling back onto a surprisingly soft mattress.

“The hell?” he breathes. His stomach is turning, everything spinning before his eyes. 

Before he can even catch his bearings, Cas is crawling on top of him, straddling his waist, and if Dean wasn’t so confused he’d probably be really turned on right about now.

Sex seems to be the last thing on Cas’ mind, though, eyes burning with righteous anger as he stares Dean down.

“You do not get to throw your life away,” he growls, hands shooting out and grabbing Dean’s wrists as he tries to move, effectively pinning him down. “You are so determined to get yourself killed, you don’t even think about the people you would be leaving behind.”

A hot burst of anger goes through Dean. “Who? Who the fuck would I be leaving behind? Sam? My dad? They’ve both left, you think either of them gives a shit whether I live or die?”

“Me,” Cas bites out. “I care. I couldn’t bear it if you-”

He cuts himself off, leaning down and capturing Dean’s lips with his own. Dean surges into it; this much, he’s good at, even if he doesn’t have the first clue about what to do with Cas’ confession. He moans, grinding upwards, sparks shooting through him at the first tantalizing brush of Cas’ cock against his through layers of fabric.

Cas breaks the kiss then, already panting and staring down at Dean with a lost, wild expression.

“I thought you couldn’t,” Dean says, the first stupid thing that pops into his mind. 

“I can’t,” Cas confirms but then he leans down anyway, and just like that they’re kissing again.

They don’t go any further, but they kiss until Dean is drifting off to sleep. The last thing he’s aware of is Cas rearranging their bodies, pulling Dean further into his embrace.

Some time in the night, Dean wakes up, nose buried in the crook of Cas’ neck. Still half-asleep and completely unguarded, he can’t help asking, “Are you staying?”

Cas’ arm tightens around him and he presses a kiss against Dean’s crown before answering, “I’m staying.”

*

Cas stays, true to his word. He makes himself scarce whenever Dad shows up, but otherwise he stays. Dean doesn’t go on another hunt alone after that.

When Dad disappears, Dean wonders briefly whether he should involve Sam. But Sam has his own life, and even though his family has all left him Dean isn’t alone anymore. 

[aarunomura]

MARGINAL#4 Index 1st Stage ~REVOLUTION!~ Chapter 6 - External★Galaxy (Translation)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

★ Please DO NOT re-translate or post this translation anywhere.

CHAPTER 6: External★Galaxy

As Universe FES is fast-approaching, our agency is also bustling with activity. Universe FES is where new talents from various agencies gather together. With the agency’s reputation at stake, I cannot be sloppy about my work.

(Umm, what was it that I needed to do after this?)

There are many things that I need to do.

(Ah, it’s almost time...)

Everyone’s dance lessons are just about over. Before they end, I want to see how much the boys have improved.

(They really do seem happy whenever I go to see them.)

As idols, they enjoy having everyone watch their performances. The four have said that it’s more motivating for them when I’m watching them compared to when it’s just them practising in silence. Ever since I heard that, I’ve been making an effort to watch them practise even if it’s only for the first or last few minutes.

(I have a rather hectic schedule, but if the four are happy, then I feel that I need to work hard.)

The four, who are entering the final stage in their preparations, seem to have it tough with dance and singing lessons, but I too am bombarded with work lately.

(Ah, right! I need to show them this.)

MARGINAL#4′s CD jacket design is complete. This jacket is a tour de force by Aru-kun. Just as I requested, it’s stylish and incorporates the imagery of stars and space. It’s also finished up with a not-too-subdued tint of colour. Things like the colour adjustments still need to be done so I can’t say that it’s perfect but... I’m sure they’ll be overjoyed if I show them it.

“Alright, I didn’t forget anything.”

I turn my eyes to the notes with the schedule and merchandise samples spread across the table. I need to return and continue with my work once I take a quick look of the four practising and have a quick chat to them. I stuffed the things that I was bringing along inside my bag and left the room.

☆★☆

When they noticed me arrive at the studio, one after another, the four, who had just finished with practice, came to where I was. The T-shirts they are wearing are soaking with sweat.

“Ah, Manager! How was my dancing?” “It’s gotten a lot better. Compared to before, your movements are now aligned.” “That is because everyone has worked extremely hard. To tell you the truth, I have been panicking recently because I feel that I will be left behind.” “There you go again about that~ We really can’t keep up with Rui-kun’s sharp movements.” “Hey, I wasn’t out of position, was I?” “Don’t worry, you were in sync with everyone.” “Really? That’s a relief~ I was the only one who was off for the last beat so it took quite a long time before I could memorise the right rhythm.” “Is that so? From what I saw just now, I wouldn’t have guessed.” “That’s good then!”

(They worked really hard with practice, didn’t they.)

“Ah, right. I bought you drinks! You must be thirsty, right?” “Seriously?! You sure are thoughtful! The drink I brought along became empty just like that.” “I’ll have some too~. It was tough since my throat’s all dry. I mean, there’s also a heater in this place. We were just about to become like dried-up marimo.” “Yes, I was also just getting thirsty. Thank you very much.” “It’s fine, this much is nothing.”

I hold out the bag with cold drinks to the four.

“Ah, and another thing. I thought I should show this to you all! Tah-dah!”

Making that sound effect, I take out and show the four the CD jacket design that arrived just now.

“Ah, this is...” “I tried to make the jacket exactly the way Aru-kun drew it. If there’s anything about it that is different from your image, I’d be happy if you could let me know as soon as possible.” “Wow...”

Aru-kun is surprised to see that his own drawing has now taken the form of a CD jacket. He’s spacing out with wide, round eyes as if he’s dreaming.

“Gosh, Aru looks so happy. ...Somehow, it’s even making me happy.” “Eru-kun?” “Up until now, there hasn’t been this many people who acknowledged Aru. I mean, since Aru talks using online gaming language, everyone tends to find it troublesome to understand him and gives up. So... thanks. It makes me happy that you properly see Aru’s good qualities.” “Not at all. I wouldn’t have been able to create this lovely jacket without Aru-kun’s help so I’m very grateful towards him.” “Heeeh... So Aru drew this, huh. Awesome, this is super awesome! I want to RT it badly.” “Very... There appears to be a similarity relation.” “Similarity relation?” “I mean that they resemble us a lot.” “Heeh.”

Atom-kun and Rui-kun peer at it with happy expressions. They must be elated to have something that they are involved in begin to take shape little by little. The four’s eyes are sparkling.

(...I’m so happy.)

It was worth putting in the effort.

“It will undergo some revisions but... the finished result will pretty much look like this.” “I think it looks great.” “I also like it.” “I’m fond of it as well. But it’s a shame there’s no marimo.” “Marimo is a little...” “I’m only joking!”

If I can see these four’s smiling faces, I am willing to keep on working hard.

“Anyway, why don’t you all get changed? You’ll catch a cold, sweating like that.” “You are right. Then let us go and get changed. What will you be doing after this, Manager?” “I plan to return to the agency, and continue with checking up on goods and Universe FES preparations.” “...Now?”

Aru-kun frowns. When I look at the clock, it is indeed already quite late.

“Yeah, but I need to work hard!”

Things will only become busier than they already are as Universe FES approaches closer.

“But you’re looking kinda pale, y’know?” “Eh? Really?” “Atom-kun is right. Are you getting enough sleep?” “Ah, now that you mention it, I guess my sleeping hours have slightly reduced lately...”

While I’m at the agency, I give priority to meetings and being the boys’ support. Because of that, the amount of work at the agency which I have brought home to do has increased.

“That won’t do. You’re a young girl. Your skin’s rough.” “W-Wah?!”

Eru-kun strokes my cheek. Although they are idols under my care, they are young and cool. They are boys engaging in idol activities. Even though I have become familiar with them, with this sudden close distance between us, my heart skips a beat.

“...Actually. Don’t you have a fever? Your cheeks are hot.” “That’s because Eru-kun just touched them out of nowhere!” “Really, Eru-kun. To suddenly lay a land on a girl...” “Eru, no.” “Alright, alright.”

When both Rui-kun and Aru-kun scolded him, Eru-kun finally removed his hand from my cheek.

“But it’s true that you don’t look well. Don’t push yourself too hard.” “We will also do what we can ourselves.” “Yeah, leave it to us.” “There’s no way we could let you take on the hardships yourself.” “Guys...”

It makes me happy that they are worried about me in this way even when we are in the final stages of preparation with all kinds of things going on.

“Thanks, but I’m alright! I’m going to give it my all as well so let’s all keep on going at full speed towards Universe FES!” “Yeah!” “Yes!” “Okaaay!” “Right!”

Our voices, which reaffirm our determination, echoes inside the studio. I see the boys, who are heading to the changing room, off and return to continue with my work.

A few days later, I ended up collapsing from overwork──────.

☆★☆

“...Awake?” “...H...uh?”

I blink absently. The first thing that came into sight was an unfamiliar, pure white ceiling.

“Director...?” “You collapsed at the agency. You don’t remember?” “Collapsed...? I...did?”

I don’t understand Director’s words.

(Um... What exactly happened?)

My memory is fuzzy. I have no memory whatsoever of where exactly I had lost consciousness. Before I knew it, I had woken up in this place.

“Is this... the hospital?” “That’s right. Since you collapsed all of a sudden, we had you quickly brought here. Your complexion looks a lot better now. I guess the IV drip is doing its job.” “I did feel... a little dizzy lately.” “...I see.”

(To think that I would faint...)

I wouldn’t have imagined. I had been giving priority to Universe FES preparations, and probably neglected my own health.

“Oh! Universe FES preparations...!” “...Don’t worry about that.”

Director stopped me, gently placing a hand on my shoulder, just as I was about to jump out of bed.

“And about MARGINAL#4...” “Yes, what about them?” “No, the problem doesn’t lie with them.”

(...Them?)

“It’s about you.” “Me?” “Yes. I know that you’ve been working hard with Universe FES preparations. But for you to collapse at this critical time, there isn’t anything you can do about being told that you lack self-management.” “...Yes.”

(She’s right. For me to fall sick like this at the busiest time is...)

“What is happening with MARGINAL#4 now...?” “The other staff are supporting them. If you had consulted me about your physical condition earlier, I could’ve transferred your duties to them more smoothly...” “...Yes.” “But no trouble occurred this time...” “...I am relieved to hear that.”

It seems my collapsing didn’t have a [negative] impact for the time being.

“I shall explain to you what will happen from here on.” “A-Alright...” “First off is for you to take a proper rest. This is your top priority.” “Yes.” “And... I’m having you step down as MARGINAL#4′s Manager.” “...!”

(No way...)

Although I was half-prepared for that, actually being told that made my heart heavily ache deep inside.

“The doctor in charge said that it’s best that you stay here for two weeks... Think of it as a good opportunity to let your body rest and try to recover. Your health is an important asset in this line of work, you know?” “...Yes. I am really sorry for the trouble I have caused.” “If you are careful next time, then that’s fine. I’ll come to visit you again when I have time. After all, even though I have removed you of your duty, you must be worried about the boys.” “...Yes.” “Rest well.” “I will...”

Director then left the hospital room, the sound of her heels clacking. The moment I was alone in the room, the reality of being removed as MARGINAL#4′s Manager sank in.

“...Fu.”

My eyes become filled with tears. Despite wishing to put in my utmost effort for their sake, I ended up abandoning them half way. Surely, I will [still] be slightly involved with them, given that they are talents of the agency. However, I am no longer their ‘Manager’. Even though I wanted to push them to the top idol seat with my own hands...

(The only thing I can do now is watch them.)

When I thought about that... I let the tears come, crying until there were none left.

☆★☆

“.........”

I absentmindedly stare at the TV. Now that I think about it, I had been so busy lately that I hardly watched any TV. To be lying in my hospital bed and spacing out in front of the TV, it’s as if my busy life up until now has been a lie.

(How boring...)

Even as I’m looking at the TV, it’s obvious that I’m thinking about something else. MARGINAL#4...... those four.

(Right now, they must be working hard with their dance and singing lessons.)

They must be putting in their all even without me here. And it would be nice if they were to feel even just a little sad because I am not there with them. I had negative thoughts such as that.

I could hear footsteps from outside approaching.

(...I wonder if it’s Director.)

She did say that she would come to visit again. As the sound of multiple footsteps gradually gets closer to the room I am in...

(Hm? There’s several?)

The door flung wide open before I could even look up.

“MANAGER!!” “A-Atom-kun?! E-Everyone?!”

The four members of MARGINAL#4 entered the hospital room with determined looks on their faces. And the one at the very back was Director.

“Um... What’s the meaning of this...?” “You see, these children have something to say to you.” “To me...?”

(Maybe... they are angry at me. After all, I abandoned them along the way.)

It’s not like I stopped being their Manager entirely, but in their eyes, I might have let them down.

“.........”

Heavy silence fills the hospital room. I need to say something, but I can’t find the words. The one who broke the silence was naturally Atom-kun.

“...Hey.” “What is it?” “We came today because we have a request.” “...Eh?”

(A request? They aren’t here to blame me?)

I had been constantly thinking that I would be blamed for my lack of willpower that resulted in my leaving the ‘MARGINAL#4′ project unfinished but... It seems I was wrong.

“After we heard that you collapsed, Manager, we did lots of thinking and came here.” “The reason you collapsed was because you overworked yourself for our sake.” “...We’re sorry for pushing you too hard.” “N-No, that’s not true. It’s not your fault so don’t apologise.”

The four hang their heads down, thinking that they were the ones who asked too much of me.

“...But you know, it has to be you.” “Eh?” “We are aware that our request will place great burden on you. However... you were the one who led us up to here from the start. Therefore, our Manager should be you to the end.” “Yeah, sorry. And if that’s the case, we need to tell you to get plenty of rest here. But hurry... and come back to us.” “I’ll work harder with my singing and dancing, and help you out. So please. Won’t you become our Manager again?” “You guys...” “...And that’s how it is. These four insisted that their Manager has to be you no matter what. Even though you can’t since it’s important that you take a break...” “U-Um...!” “What’s wrong?” “I have caused great inconvenience for everyone at the agency this time round. But... if you would allow it, I wish to return to being MARGINAL#4′s Manager.”

The four looked at me. I also directly looked back at them. These four with completely different personalities were suddenly told to form a group one day. I had been closely watching them put in the effort so that they can become one.

(I want to keep on watching over them.)

“Director, we’re begging you! Can’t you bring her back as our Manager?!” “I am asking you too. It is not MARGINAL#4 without her...!” “I’m begging you as well. I can share my prized marimo with you if you say you want one.” “Me too! I wish for her, who acknowledged me, to see me work hard.” “Director, me too... I wish to watch over them to the very end! I will definitely be careful so that something like this won’t happen again...! So please...!!”

“Please!!”

The four lowered their heads to Director. Remaining in bed, I also bowed my head low towards her way.

“.........”

Director ponders for a moment before slowly opening her mouth to speak.

“Then will you listen to a request of mine?” “Request...?” “I believe I told you at the start but... I want MARGINAL#4 to become top idols like the legendary STARMATE. They were truly great. STARMATE.”

Director murmurs that as if she’s in a world of her own.

“Therefore, I want you... to perform a legendary live that amounts to STARMATE’s at Universe FES.” “L-Legendary live?”

If I remember correctly, the legend left behind at STARMATE’s lives was... Stars showered upon earth, mesmerised by and drawn to their singing ────── or so people say.

(A legendary live that will bring forth a shower of stars...?)

I have no idea how we are supposed to do that exactly. And neither does MARGINAL#4. All of us look at each other, puzzled.

“If you promise me that... I shall allow her to return.” “We promise!!” “H-Hold on a second! Atom-kun!”

I hurriedly stopped Atom-kun, who was about to declare that immediately to Director. The fact that Director set a condition means that there should be a penalty should we fail to clear it. It is risky to make any promises before asking her about that.

“If... In the case that we fail to create a legendary live that meets your satisfaction, what will happen?” “MARGINAL#4 will be disbanded.” “EEEEEHH?!!”

(Disbanded?!)

“H-Hold on, Director! How can you suddenly disband us based on the outcome of our debut at the FES?!” “You don’t have to make that promise, you know? From the start, I got you to form MARGINAL#4 because I wanted you to surpass the legendary STARMATE. Either way, you need to be able to do that, starting from your debut.” “...!!”

For some reason, I feel like that condition was something Director had already decided on beforehand. It should’ve been the condition... for my return, and yet maybe it was something she had planned from the very beginning...

(Th-This is risky...!)

I was about to tell myself that I couldn’t let the four cross such a dangerous bridge.

“Bring it on!” “?!”

Atom-kun accepted Director’s challenge head-on.

“H-Hold on...!” “Fufufu, good answer! To be able to see that legendary live again... I’m looking forward to Universe FES more and more.” “Wai- Director...!”

Director is laughing happily. Now that I think about it, Director did stress that she wanted MARGINAL#4 to be a group that will surpass the legendary STARMATE. I have a feeling that she successfully got Atom-kun on board with this by using me as an excuse.

(Don’t tell me, her saying that she was removing me from my position as MARGINAL#4′s Manager was a set-up for that...?)

For some reason, I had that feeling.

“I’m really looking forward to your legendary live at Universe FES!”

With only that as her final words, Director left with a spring in her step.

“.........”

All that remained was the four from MARGINAL#4 and me, who didn’t know what to make of what just happened.

“If we fail to perform a legendary live, we will be disbanded...?” “Uwaah, what’s with that? I don’t really get it. To begin with, what does she mean by a legendary live?” “STARMATE’s live...?” “The rumours did say that they brought a shower of shooting stars, huh...” “That reminds me, I believe there is a formula to predict meteorites...” “I don’t think that’s it, Rui-kun.” “I guess you are right...”

If they fail to pull off a legendary live at Universe FES, MARGINAL#4 will be disbanded. This is a decision that has already been set in stone.

“W-What do we do...” “Well, don’t worry. We’re idols who deliver a kiss to the ends of the galaxy, remember?” “In any case, why don’t we start by gathering information about STARMATE?” “I’ll also turn to my connections and ask around.” “I’ll also try to look for info online.”

The four, who were all over the place in the beginning, are finally brought together as one as MARGINAL#4.  There is no way that I will let their dreams of becoming idols end here.

“No matter what it takes, let’s definitely make Universe FES a success, okay...!” “Hell yeah!” “Yes!” “Ye~p!” “Yeah!”

Again, we vowed to make that happen.

☆★☆

In order to increase the quality of their performances, they enthusiastically put more effort into practice than ever before. In order to make up for lost time I spent in bed, I also desperately got more work done compared to before I collapsed. We also kept an eye on the state of each other’s health.

Meanwhile, we also gathered information on STARMATE. STARMATE, who left behind a legend in which they brought a shower of stars at each of their lives. If we do not surpass STARMATE or fail to at least achieve the same level as them...  MARGINAL#4 will be disbanded. We tried to figure out what STARMATE’s lives were like but...

“What do you mean by live policy...” “T-To think that there are no records of footage remaining...” “Usually, they would make live DVDs, right?! I don’t believe this!” “Th-This is too much...”

Many live reports and books remain. Their CDs are also circulating to this very day so it’s generally possible to obtain them.

However, there is so little footage of their lives, where they left behind that legend, remaining that we might as well say that there is none at all.

(So that was part of their strategy.)

Legendary lives that you can only know about by attending them. The legend steadily grew through the spread of information from attendees.

“What are we supposed to do... Can we win against something we barely know about...” “To think that only information in the form of rumours and reports have widely circulated that we cannot grasp the true nature of it...” “I wonder how we’re going to deal with this now. Aru, isn’t there anything that can be done about it?” “Usually, no matter what kind of artist it is, live footage would circulate underground but... STARMATE’s will be uploaded and then deleted within seconds that it doesn’t make any sense.” “Within seconds?!” “I think their agency is extremely strict with checking up on that.” “...That’s amazing.”

I muttered seriously. Quite a number of years have passed since STARMATE broke up. Even so, it’s befitting that their agency’s management would be strict.

“”But now that it’s come to this, we’ve no longer got a choice but to fight with quality.” “You are right...” “In other words, creating a miracle with our true abilities without resorting to tricks, eh! Sounds pretty difficult and fun.” “The higher the difficulty level of the quest is, the more it is worth capturing.”

(That is true.)

Now that things have come to this, all they can do is put forth all of the strength they can muster as MARGINAL#4 at Universe FES.

“If that’s the case, it’s time to practise!” “Shall we work on our choreography a little longer?” “Eru, would you mind having a look at my dancing once more?” “Got it!”

The unusual challenge that we must overcome ────── surpass STARMATE’s legendary live. But for MARGINAL#4, who will defy that, their determination will not be broken by that.

“These four will be alright.”

We have decided to challenge that with just our true abilities. The four from MARGINAL#4 practise over and over, sweating blood, in order to carve a new legend at Universe FES. I also supported them with all my might.

And at long last, the day of Universe FES arrived──────.

To be continued. ➤ Chapter 7

Thanks for reading!