#i am a mix of tired and possibly sick??

[liesandalibis]

THE SCENE IS TELLING—beer cans litter the common room, some of them sitting upright as makeshift ashtrays, others crushed and sloppily left on chairs, the floor. bits of trash and playing cards strewn across the table. a half-drunk bottle of whiskey exists as the centerpiece in all of this mess, accompanied by glasses that have since been knocked over and abandoned. company dwindles when jet turns in for the night, and ed and her doggy companion leave the remaining adults to their vacuous indulgences. three hours. that's how long they'd been drinking for. somewhere along the line faye had moved from the couch to the floor and stayed there. she's without her signature headband, which lies somewhere amid the litter. there's a cigarette butt tucked between her fading red lips and she's barefoot, idly rubbing the heel of one of her feet. a tower of ash hangs on for dear life and although her movement is sluggish, the ash eventually dislodges directly onto her lap when she shifts her weight. unaware, she pulls the cigarette from her mouth.

❝ so now that i've kicked your ass in card games, ❞ she starts, dropping the spent cigarette into one of the cans. there's a slight drag to her words that's only noticeable with certain vowels. she appears fine otherwise. ❝ i'd bet the woolongs in my pocket that i could wrestle you to the floor. right now. ❞

faye doesn't remember what they were talking about before then—if they had even been talking at all. something tells her to initiate. to break whatever looming silence there might have been. her eyes glide up spike's form under heavy eyelids; it's almost like she can't help herself. but she could take him. they've got to be about the same amount of sloshed by now. with a broadening smirk, ❝ this will be your only chance. so what do y'say? wanna try me, spiegel? ❞ / @reddragon-cowboy

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Sad Conrad request. Surprising him at the beach house and being there through the hard moments with his mom

Grab your tissues, this is a sad one

Warnings: mention of cancer/death

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

‘’She won’t get better. It’s too late,’’ a crying Conrad said through the phone one late evening of May.

You sat up in your bed, giving him your best attention as your heart clenched.

These past few months, Susannah had been trying a new treatment for her cancer. She initially didn’t want to do it, but she would do anything for her boys. It’s been tough for her and the boys, physically and emotionally, but Susannah was a fighter. If she could beat cancer once, she could do it again, right?

Today, she had an appointment with her oncologist to see if the treatment was working. Conrad had been very stressed over it, calling you more often just to hear your reassuring words. You stayed optimistic for his sake, but you couldn’t lie to him. There were chances the treatment did not work.

‘’S-she’s gonna die.’’ His voice cracked at the last word, causing a tear to slip down your face.

That night, you almost booked a flight to Boston just to hold him in your arms.

*

When June came, you all went to Cousins’ beach for the last time. The last summer, her last summer.

On the day of the Fishers’ arrival, you sat on Conrad’s perfectly made bed and waited for him to walk through his door. It felt strange to be alone in their holiday house. Susannah had helped you plan the surprise for Conrad, mailing you a double of the keys a week before their arrival. He had been taking care of her so well during her treatment, she wanted to thank him in a special way.

You heard the door open downstairs, Conrad and Jeremiah’s voices soon filling the house. A know formed in your stomach, excited and nervous at the same time. Susannah’s voice mixed with the two, asking Conrad to take the bags upstairs.

The stairs creaked under his steps, listening as he took his mother’s bags to her room first, then his own. You held your breath as you saw the doorknob turn, soon revealing the boy you had missed so much with one bag over his shoulder and his suitcase in his other hand.

A mix of complete surprise and confusion spread on his face when he saw you sitting there on his bed.

‘’Hi.’’ You stood and a smile curled on Conrad’s lips for the first time in a while.

He dropped his bag and the suitcase’s handle and rushed over to you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the ground. You wrapped your own arms around his neck as your legs did the same to his waist, finally in each other‘s hold.

‘’What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t be here until Sunday.’’

You pulled back slightly, pushing that one piece of hair from his pretty eyes. You missed him and the soft smile he only kept for you. ‘’I drove here two days early to surprise you.’’

‘’Consider me surprised,’’ he said, closing the space between you and kissing you for the first time since spring break. Without breaking the kiss, Conrad took you to his bed, toppling on it in a mess of tangled limbs. ‘’How did you get in? Did you pick our backdoor?’’

‘’Susannah.’’

His eyebrows drew closer. ‘’My mom?’’

You nodded.

For a very short moment, Conrad was happy. And it was all because of you — with the help of Susannah.

*

As the summer went by, and Conrad was turning into a shell of his person. He was barely ever leaving the beach house or his mother’s side, wanting to spend as much time with her as possible before the end.

Since her last scan, the cancer had spread. She was getting more sick each day, becoming more tired and frail every time you saw her. Her blond hair was gone, replaced by a bandana that covered her bald head.

It was sad to watch.

‘’I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if my mom’s not there?’’ Conrad asked one night you were sitting on the back porch, his feet dipped in the pool water.

‘’You can talk to me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’’ You put your hand on his shoulders and he started to sob as you felt your own tears blurring your vision.

‘’She’s too young to die. She’ll never come to my college graduation or Jere’s high school graduation.’’

A few weeks later, you and Conrad were watching a movie in the living room, when Susannah came to get a glass of water. Conrad had fallen asleep against you, too tired to stay up late like he used to these days. You asked if she needed your help, but she smiled and said she was okay.

Before going back to her room, she came to the living room and put her hand on your arm. ‘’Thank you for being there for Connie. He doesn’t say, but he’s taking it the hardest. When I… He’s gonna take it the hardest.’’ She looked down at her son, a sad smile on her lips and tears welling in her eyes. ‘’Please take care of him.’’

*

When Susannah took her last breath, the weather was gloomy and dark outside, reflecting perfectly the feeling of the coming weeks.

You got the call at 3am and drove down to Boston, to the Fishers’ home. A red-eyed teary Jeremiah answered the door. You gave him a long hug, then headed to Conrad’s room. Laurel and her kids were there, all grieving the loss of a close friend — a non-blood-related family member.

As you entered Conrad's room, the somber atmosphere weighed heavily. The curtains were shut, plunging the room into semi-darkness, illuminated by the smallest crack of light coming from the top of the window. On the bed was Conrad, still in his clothes from last night, crying in silence and holding the old shark plushie his mother got him as a child. It had seen better days and was missing one eye, he hadn’t let go of it since coming home from the hospital.

His shoulders stiffened when he heard the door opening, about to rudely shoo out whoever had come to check on him, but relaxed when he saw you. Your hair was gathered in a loose ponytail, strands framing your face, and your shirt was an old one of Conrad’s, but none of that mattered to him. There was no one else he wanted to see beside his mom than you.

Lifting his head from the shark plushie, the steady flow of tears on his face. breaking your heart. His blue eyes, once vibrant, were now red and swollen from hours of crying, just like his brother’s.

You opened your mouth to speak, but words seemed inadequate in the face of such profound loss. So you said nothing.

You laid with him on the bed, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and pulling him into you like you had done these past months. The second his face met your chest, his sobs filled the room, finally allowing himself to let go now that you were there to catch him.

Rare were the times you had seen Conrad, but it was heartbreaking every time. You rubbed circles around his back and rested your cheek on his head, feeling his tears soak your shirt as he cried, silent tears falling from your own eyes.

You stayed like that for what felt like hours — just the two of you laying on his bed. Laurel didn’t bother checking on him, knowing he was well taken after with you. It was a weight off her shoulders, one less thing she needed to worry about.  

As the night was starting to fall outside, you felt Conrad's breathing even out, telling you he had fallen asleep. You didn't know how long he had been up for, but he must've been exhausted — in every way.

You carefully reached out to grab the soft blanket from behind him, trying to not wake him, but Conrad tightened his grip on you as he sensed your movement, afraid of losing the anchor that kept him grounded. 

‘’Don’t leave me too,’’ he mumbled, his voice so small and weak you didn't hear it.

You stayed still, frozen by his words. The vulnerability in his voice pierced your heart, and you realized that even in his sleep, his fear of abandonment lingered. 

Gently, you brushed your fingers through his hair, softly whispering back to him in reassurance.  ‘’I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'll be right here when you wake up.’’

You vowed to be there for him, to support him through the darkest hours of his journey, and you planned on keeping that promise you made to Susannah, even if it meant staying up all night holding him or skipping a few days of classes at college. 

With great care, you shifted your position, sliding out from under him just enough to reach the blanket. As you draped it over both of you, he instinctively clung tighter to you, seeking the comfort of your presence.

—

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully @aerangi @hallecarey1

[boundbyeclipse]

Okay so I saw your prompt list and I was wondering if you’d be able to write prompt 1 from angst with prompt 4 from smut for Kai?? I would literally DIE if it’s possible + your writing I literally amazing

hi, precious! oh of course I can, you request - I deliver! ps. my heart is happy, thank you so so much, it means a lot to me 🥺 ilysm ♡

tag : jealous!reader, vampire!reader, female!reader, rough!Kai, boyfriend!Kai, mentions of Bonnie

prompts are here.

♠️ 1. “Just go hang out with Person C. You’ve gotten good at that”

⛓️ 4. “If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop”

It wasn’t just a little argument. It wasn’t anything close to a small fight. You actually had rage exploding out of you. You were so fed up with seeing how Kai talks to Bonnie, how he flashes her a smile, how much time he spends with her and how he just cannot stop talking about her in general. It annoyed the hell out of you to the point you grew angry, jealous and wanted to never see him again.

You stood in front of him behind the school building, face to face, no people in sight as it was late at night. It was finally time to show him you were fed up with everything he’s been doing.

“I am so sick and tired of this bullshit, Kai. I’m right. Here. And yet you aren’t listening to me!”

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down. You’re quite literally an ignited match right now, you’re burning with all this anger” he raises his hands in the air, taking a step forward, but you take a step back.

“Yes, yes I am! Tell me, is she better than me? Is she prettier? Does she make you feel alive? What is it, Malachai?”

The name makes him scrunch his nose, but it’s just because you’re both fighting. Under any other condition, he always loves it. And you are the only person he accepts it from. If anyone else says it, he gets irritated and mad.

“What are you even talking about right now? There’s nothing going on, I have no interest in her, my eyes are all on you”

You shook your head in disbelief.

“Just go hang out with Bonnie. You’ve gotten good at that”

Using your vamp-speed you run into the building, getting inside the gym and sitting down on the bottom of the stairs, burying your face in your palms as you tried to calm down. Then you began to regret starting this fight with him. Maybe you’re just overreacting, imagining what isn’t there because you’re so in love with Kai, that the simplest things make you jealous. Like a few weeks ago when he was talking to another girl who he only needed help from to find some sort of a spell. They only spoke, exchanged smiles, that’s it. And you still found yourself grinding your teeth at the sight. Maybe you really are overreacting.

As you stare at the floor while fiddling your fingers, the door opens and closes - Kai has found you.

“Are you really going to throw another tantrum at me?” he asks, walking towards you in quick steps, stopping right in front of you. You couldn’t bear it, so you stood up, bodies so close to each other that you felt one another’s breaths on your faces.

“Kai, I just cannot stand how you act around her. I feel left out, like I’m never here, like I don’t exist sometimes. And yes, maybe it’s my stupid brain that makes me think this way, act this way, maybe it’s too much. So tell me, what the hell is going on so I know. I don’t want to hurt myself or you”

He moves even closer to you, and you didn’t think it was even possible to be this close to him. Not during a fight. A heavy sigh leaves his lips, heartbeat intense as he cannot help but feel the tension between you both. He’s so angry that you’re like this, so angry that he wants to prove to you that all he wants is you.

“You have always trusted me. So why can’t you trust me now when I say there is nothing between me and Bonnie? Why?”

“Maybe because I need you to prove it” your lower lip trembled as you inhaled the scent of his cologne, mixed with the smell of leather of his jacket. It was some sort of a distraction, you could feel lust beginning to wash over your body, and Kai was able to notice. He’s known you long enough to know your body language. He knew when you were sad, when you felt shy, nervous, bothered. Even sexually frustrated. And that was the case right now.

Especially the way you kept looking at his lips, even if that lasted for a second.

He knew you wanted to taste him. He knew you wanted him to yourself and yourself only. It was a tad bit too easy to read you. But he wanted to get it out from you, so he did not make any moves.

“You know damn well that I can see it in your eyes - you cannot keep it together. From head to toe you’re shaking with desire, I can tell that my cologne is driving you insane. Your heart is racing a thousand miles per hour,” he teased you with words, his voice husky and inviting, “so go ahead, kiss me. Be jealous. Be overprotective”

You bit your lip, blood boiling as you snapped at him, voice silvery.

“If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop”

Kai grins, leaning closer to your ear to whisper.

“So kiss me”

Your temper is short lived as you grab his face, landing your warm lips on his, not wasting any time to slip your tongue in his mouth. With your vamp-speed you end up in the hall, Kai pressing you against the lockers, his cold fingertips touching your skin under your shirt. A filthy moan escaping from you as he picks you up, his large hands firmly holding the back of your thighs.

In a second, you’re in a classroom, laid on the desk, Kai kissing and sucking your neck, earning small whimpers from you. He pushes your skirt up, all over you as he grinds himself against your heated core. His jeans tighten within seconds, becoming more and more unbearable as he continues to bite your collarbone. His hands squeeze your hips as he groans against your skin as he cannot contain himself no more.

Kai unbuttons his jeans and pushes them down, letting his length spring against his stomach, rock hard and throbbing with need.

“You want me to prove myself to you, hm?” he grabs you by the hips and pulls you closer, your thighs hugging his waist as he lines himself at your clothed entrance.

“Y-yes” you moan eagerly, waiting for his next move.

“I’ll make sure the whole town hears you, and I’ll leave you limping, everyone will be jealous of YOU, sweetheart”

The pads of his fingers ghost over your underwear, suddenly pulling it away as he enters you without a warning. You gasp and grab the sides of the desk, your insides pulsing with each thrust. He’s almost too big for you to take, but you love the way he stretches you out. You buck your hips against him, but Kai presses you down as his hands hold you down by your hip bones, fingers bruising the skin.

“Ma-Malachai” you cry out.

“Don’t you move. You brought this upon yourself. Now take it”

His thrusts become rougher and deeper, one hand reaching for your throat, squeezing the sides as he grunts from above you. The table underneath you shakes, sliding across the floor, all the papers and pencils falling down as Kai buried himself deeply in you. But he couldn’t care less about that. He was focused on you.

Your leg begins to cramp, and you grab his wrist, squeezing it and tapping it.

But Kai wasn’t going to stop. He pulled out, lifting you up and flipping you around, your ass on full display for him. He grabs one leg of yours, lifting it up so he has better access to your dripping folds. In a second he’s back inside of you, now leaning over you as he has his arm around your throat, his low and smoky moans heard in your ear. His other hand is holding your leg, hips slamming against you with no mercy.

Your eyes rolled back from the ecstasy he’s put you in, his name leaving your mouth in loud cries, echoing through the whole building. He feels so good that tears fall from your eyes, legs shaking and torso jolting as his tip hits the right spot. You can sense your high coming, your core pulsing and walls tightening around his length.

“Come on, love, hold on a little longer. You’re not cumming until I do” he warns.

His command makes you choke on your words, voice barely coming out with a little “yes”. Kai smirks at your attempt to reply, finding it hot that you’re so affected by him.

Kai pulls out again, lifting you up and sitting you down on the wooden desk, one hand wrapped around your waist as his other one holds you by the back of your neck. He gifts you a sloppy but passionate kiss, biting your lip in the process. You moan his name again, letting him know that there is no possibility you’ll last any longer. Knowing he’s almost done too, he buries his face in the crook of your neck while his hand reaches to squeeze your breast, kneading the hard nipple.

The classroom is soon filled with both of your moans as you explode, cumming around his length, black dots in your vision, Kai spilling himself inside you. Both of you catch your breaths, hugging for some time before fixing yourselves.

“Have I proven myself?” he asks, throwing on his jacket.

“If you’ll take me home and make me a bath with bubbles, mission will be accomplished”

Kai shakes his head, chuckling at you as he unexpectedly picks you up, throws you over his shoulder and carries you out of the school.

“This woman, tsk tsk tsk” he clicks his tongue and smacks your butt as he holds you tight, not letting you down until you’re finally back at his house.

[absurdthirst]

New Year's Second Chance {Javier Peña x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 18.5k

Warnings: Animosity, hostility, heartbreak, technically step-sibling relationship, angst, domestic violence (one slap), smoking, hate sex?, idiots in love, fingering, vaginal sex, rough sex, oral sex (female receiving), hints of anilingus, biting, mixed emotions

Comments: Coming home for the holidays was not. something you were looking forward to. Especially not when you realize that Javier Peña will be there. Your mother is happily married to his father, but you hate Javier. For a good reason, or so you think

A/N: Happy New Year!!!

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Javier Peña MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Welcome to Laredo.” You groan as you drive past the sign of your hometown, feeling a little sick. It’s the holidays and you’ve tried to stay away for as long as possible but you ran out of excuses. Your mom is married to Chucho Peña. Has been married to him for a few years and you have successfully avoided the wedding, the holidays, and every event in between. Your work overseas has provided a bounty of excuses but now, you’ve been reassigned back to the U.S and the lie has run its course. You offered to stay in a hotel but your mom insists on you staying at the house. Once you’ve pulled up outside the Peña ranch, your mom comes rushing out, screaming your name and wrapping you in a hug that you can only describe as coming home. You smile and breathe her in, “hi mom.” 

She grins when she pulls back to look at you, her eyes a little watery. “Come on, let’s get you inside. You must be hungry and tired after all that traveling.” She ushers you in and you look around, “where’s Chucho?” You ask and she smiles, “he went out to get some things.” 

You nod and she gets to work on making you something to eat. You just finish your sandwich when the garage door opens and Chucho walks in, setting the grocery bags on the counter and you stand up. The old man grins and wraps his arms around you. You've always liked him. Your dad died when you were young and you worried your mom would be alone until she struck up her friendship with Chucho at a grief counseling meeting at the local church. He put the light back in her eyes and you thank him for that. “It’s good to see you.” You murmur when he releases you and you don’t see the younger Peña until he says “what? No hug for me.” Your hackles go up, your spine straightens, and you swallow harshly. “What the hell is he doing here?” You ask, knowing that your mom told you he was still in Colombia taking down the Cali cartel.

Javier frown. Unsure why you hate him so much. “Honey, be nice! Javi just got back earlier. He wrapped up his little case so he flew in to join us.” Only your mom could call taking down one of the biggest drug cartels a “little case”. 

“That’s great.” You say sarcastically. “Glad he could make it.”

Javier huffs, setting the bags he was carrying down on the counter. “Don’t worry, Chiquita. I’ll be down the hall for the next two weeks.” He smirks, “maybe longer. I ain’t got nowhere to go now I’m back from Colombia.” He goads you and you want to stomp your foot like a child. 

“Gee, that’s great. One big happy family.” You sass, “aren’t we lucky?” You ask your mom who raises her eyebrows at you in silent warning. You didn’t know Javier would be here. If you did, you would’ve avoided coming back to Laredo for another three years. “I am going to take a shower and get unpacked.” You declare, asking your mom which room you’re staying in and she glances at Chucho before she shows you down the hall to the room you’re staying in. The one right next to Javier’s childhood bedroom.

Growling to yourself, you toss the bags down onto the bed and sigh. You hate Javier, can’t stand being around him. Arrogant and prideful, cocky and worse - a womanizer. Man thinks that he can flirt with and fuck any woman he wants and it’s disgusting. If you hadn’t promised your mom that you would stay through the New Year, you would be heading back to the airport right now. As it is, you will just have to ignore Javi. No doubt he will be too busy plowing through the single and unhappily married women in town, if he didn’t fuck them the last time he was here.

Chucho tuts as Javier glares at where you just stood. “What’s the issue between the two of you?” He asks and Javier shakes his head. “I don’t even know, Pa. We were friends. Back in the day and she - she just turned one day and was mean to me. I don’t even know what I did.” He confesses and your mom raises her eyebrows, knowing his reputation even back then. “I swear, I have no fucking clue.” He shakes his head, but he knows that he won’t put up with your shit.

In your room, you unpack quickly and decide that you want to take a shower. Knowing that you hadn’t been very cordial to Javier, but you don’t have it in you. You want nothing to do with him, and you’re stuck with him for the entire holiday. You’ll just be as pleasant as you can and your mom will have to realize that her fantasy for a family holiday is nothing more than a pipe dream.

Javier decides to settle back into his room. He only arrived back a couple of days ago and he hasn’t had a chance to unpack with the whirlwind of chores his Pa had assigned to him as soon as he arrived back in Laredo. He decides to shower before he heads out with his Pa to get the shopping list your mom assigned for dinner and he does like your mom. She’s been good for his dad. Makes sure the place is clean, that he has a homemade dinner, and that he is happy. His Pa looks after your mom, loves her, and that makes Javi happy. He feels better knowing that his dad is happy. Deciding to shower, he grabs his toiletry bag and heads into the hallway, opening the bathroom door and he’s shocked when he sees you standing in the shower.

You squeal in surprise when the door opens and grab the shower curtain to rip it around your body. “What is wrong with you?” You scream when he doesn’t immediately turn around and leave. “Close the door!” It infuriates you that you haven’t been here an hour and Javi is already pushing boundaries and pissing you off. You wish you had never come here.

Javier slams the door shut, his eyes wide and he realizes this is gonna be a long two weeks around you. You used to be friends. Good friends. He doesn’t know what happened. Kinda chalked it down to you being jealous of Lorraine when he got with her and proposed and then he went to Colombia after that shit show. Which was strange since you had stood him up the night he got back together with her the last time. Heading back to his room, he decides to wait until you’re done before he attempts to leave the sanctuary of his room.

Locking the door, you turn on the shower and climb in. Closing your eyes and sighing as you lean against the tiled wall. Fuck. Why, why, why, do you have to be stuck in this house with Javi? The bad thing is that the bastard looks good. Colombia hadn’t been bad to him. He’s more handsome than ever, maybe a little worn down, but he still looks good. That pisses you off more than anything. You remember being so fucking excited that night and then so heartbroken.

Javier sighs when he hears you leave the bathroom and close the door to the guest room. He makes his way into the bathroom and it smells like your body lotion. He inhales deeply. His cock twitching at the thought of smelling it on your skin. He turns on the shower and gets in a few moments later, cursing the fact that his cock is getting hard

After getting dressed, you feel better, leaving the guest bedroom and going to the kitchen. “Okay, I’m unpacked and feeling better after a shower.” You promise, giving your mom another hug. “I’ve missed you.” You tell her, even though you’ve avoided coming home in order to not see Javi since your mother got involved with Chucho.

Your mom smiles, kissing your cheek. "I missed you so much baby. So much. I - it's been so long. I feel like it's been a lifetime since I last saw you. You - I've been married to Chucho for three years." She reminds you of your absence.

You had known she was going to guilt you. “I know mom, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy with work.” You tell her. It’s not a lie, you just don’t admit that you asked for assignments during the holidays so you didn’t have to come here. “I’ll try to do better.”

Your mom nods, knowing you’ve been busy. “Why are you and Javier butting heads? You used to be good friends. What happened?” She asks with a concerned frown. Before you can answer, the man in question comes into the kitchen, hair wet and buttoned slightly open as he opens the fridge to grab a bottle of beer.

“Nothing.” You shrug slightly, not willing to give Javi the satisfaction of knowing that he still here under your skin. “We’re just….different people.” You settle for that and ignore the snort as he twists open his beer bottle and takes a swig.

Your mom frowns but nods, not wanting to escalate the issue when you’re in front of Javi. She doesn’t understand why you’re mad at him after so many years of not seeing him. “So…are we going to go grocery shopping?” You ask your mom who nods and Javi smirks, kinda wanting to push your buttons. “I’ll come with.” He says and smirks when you huff.

“So we’re buying cigarettes and booze?” You snort, rolling your eyes. “I think that’s about the limit of your cooking abilities, right?” You have no hope that he had learned any skills since you last ate with him.

Javier snorts, “you ain’t wrong there, sweetheart. Can make toast and eggs for the ladies that spend the night but that’s about it. I’m hopeless.” He declares and sips his beer after opening it.

You grind your teeth, irritated that you are affected by that. “Probably want them to make you breakfast.” You huff, looking over at your mom again. “When do you want to go? Might as well get it over with since we will have a tag-along.”

Javier smirks, loving how he can annoy you. He is going to take great pleasure in doing it again and again during your visit. “We can go now.” Your mom suggests and Javier nods, downing the bottle of beer until he’s tossing it in the trash and adjusting his too-tight jeans. 

“Let’s go ladies.” He says and winks at you as he makes his way out into the garage.

“Kill me now.” You huff, rolling your eyes. You shouldn’t have come, you should have known that Javi would be home since he had been suspended. Grabbing your purse, you go out into the garage. “Oh hell no.” You shake your head when you see him sitting in the passenger seat of your mom’s Buick. “I sit up front. You get your ass in the back.”

Javier looks at your mom, giving her those puppy eyes that always got him what he wanted as a kid. “Oh honey, just get in the back.” Your mom says and you growl under your breath while Javier gives you a victorious grin. Your mom is soon driving away from the ranch, you grumbling in the back, and Javier smirks at you in the mirror, loving to see you so annoyed.

You don’t talk on the way to the grocery store, sulking in the back seat like a child and even crossing your arms at one point. You hate Javi, hate him. “Fucking ridiculous.” You mutter to yourself.

He bites his lip to smother his chuckle, loving how annoyed you are. And when you arrive at the store, Javier gets out and grabs the cart for your mom. “Thanks sweetheart.” She smiles at him and you follow along, arms crossed and brow furrowed. 

“Is that Javier Peña?” A middle aged woman asks and comes over with a grin on her face. “Oh boy. You’ve grown up since you used to mow my yard when you were seventeen.” She says with a blush and Javier chuckles, “all grown up now, Señora Alvarez.”

“All grown up and no manners.” You mumble under your breath and walk over to the bananas to make sure there are plenty at the house. You eat one every morning for potassium. Javi and the old woman continue chatting and pretty soon you hear a girlish giggle from the older woman and roll your eyes. He’s obviously turned on the charm and started flirting with the elderly woman. There’s no one he wouldn’t flirt with apparently.

Your mom rolls the cart over to you and nudges your arm. “He is kinda cute all grown up. He’s not as flighty as he used to be. Always seemed to feel like he struggled to keep his feet on the ground in one place. I guess going to Colombia cured him of the travel bug.” She guesses, “suppose that’s why he didn’t marry Lorraine.”

“Good for her.” You snort. “She got lucky. I can’t imagine she would be happy with her husband trying to lift every skirt he sees.” You don’t know why he didn’t marry Lorraine, or why you should care. It’s nothing to you.

Your mom nods, “she wasn’t happy when he left her standing at the aisle and had his friend Frankie give the bride a note detailing his departure to go to the DEA academy. Guess she was against him going. Wanted him to stay and work in her daddy’s construction company. He wanted to do something for the world and she got stood up. Guess they met in some bar…the Old Rodeo.” Your mom recalls the story Chucho told her.

“Yeah….” Your nose curls at the name. “It’s a shit bar. Nothing but losers went there.” You remember the bar pretty damn well, but your mother doesn’t know that. “Anyway…. I don’t care about Javier. Tell me how you are doing?” You beg. “How are things with Chucho? Is he treating you right? If he’s not, I’m going to have to talk to him.”

Your mom smiles the type of smile you have when you’re totally in love. She looks giddy. There’s a light in your eyes that you’re kind of jealous of. “He’s amazing. Sure, we have little disagreements, mainly about him doing too much damn work. But he’s so kind and caring. He loves me and we both agreed that our marriage would never be compared to our previous ones. Your dad was the love of my life and Maria was his but…I love him. He makes me happy.” She promises with a girlish giggle.

“That’s all that matters.” You murmur softly. Despite your feelings about his son, Chucho is a good man and your mother deserves to be happy after so much time. You had told her that she couldn’t be a widow forever, she lost your father way too young to spend the rest of her life alone. “I hope I can find someone who treats me that way one day.” You frown slightly, remembering the last girlish crush you had and how those hopes and daydreams had been crushed. Shaking yourself out of it, you shrug. “What all do we need to get? Are you having a New Year’s party this year?” Your entire childhood, your parents had thrown amazing New Year’s parties, rivaled by none in your opinion.

Your mom smiles, “yeah. Chucho and I decided to continue the tradition. His nephew Danny is gonna bring a tent over to set up in the back and my friend Ellen is going to cater. I’m getting too old to do the food all by myself. Plenty of booze and food and one of the local kids is going to DJ.” Your mom says, knowing this year will be the best yet. “For now, we need to get a ham, potatoes, all the usual. Oh and a dessert or two. I was thinking pie.” She says and glances around, “where did Javier go?” She asks and the man in question appears with a six pack of beer and a pack of condoms. “The essentials.” He smirks at you and you scoff.

“I do not want to hear the pathetic faked moans of whatever floozy you bring home.” You point at him. “I swear to God, Javier, if you wake me up, I’ll kill you.” You promise hotly. You can’t even imagine having sex at your mom and Chucho’s house, just a respectful thing. Granted, you hadn’t had sex in a long time, a really long time, but still. Javi smirks and you roll your eyes. “So is the beer for the girls to get drunk enough to want to have sex with you?”

Javier chuckles and shakes his head, “it’s for refreshment after they lose their voice from moaning too much.” He’s messing with you. Like he’d bring a woman back to the house with you next door and his dad and your mom down the hall. Absolutely not. He chuckles when you wrinkle your nose and he leans in closer while your mom inspects the vegetables. “You just wish it was you in my bed.” He taunts you, wanting to wind you up even more.

You cut your eyes over at him and sneer. “In your fuckin’ dreams, Peña.” You huff. “I wouldn’t be in your bed if you paid me. And I heard there was quite a bit of payment in Colombia.” You smirk. “Expensing out getting your dick wet.”

Javier narrows his eyes, “saved lives. Took down Escobar. That’s all that matters in the end.” He hisses, still sensitive about getting sent back before he could be the one to slap the cuffs on the bastard. “Besides, I doubt you’ve had anyone come near you with that sour face.” He spits, getting defensive.

It cuts deeper than you imagined and you hate how he can still get to you after everything. “At least I can say that anyone who fucked me did it because they wanted to. I didn’t pay and I don’t give a shit what you think of me. Your opinion means shit.”

Javier growls under his breath just as your mom comes over with the chips. “Everything okay?” She asks and Javier grins, “just peachy.” He says to her and she frowns slightly. 

“I’m gonna go get some things.” Javier says, stalking off and away from you before he says something else.

“Are you two fighting again?” Your mom asks, exasperated by the angry tension between the two of you. 

“Nope.” You shake your head and turn to see someone turning onto the aisle and you freeze. A flashback to years ago running through your mind. A petite blonde rushing up to Javier and jumping into his arms with a squeal and an enthusiastic kiss. Your stomach knots up and you grab your purse. “I - I need to get some air.” You manage to choke out before you turn and run away. Not wanting to see the woman Javi had thrown you over for.

“Lorraine?” Javi chokes a little at seeing his ex. Sure he’d seen her at Danny’s wedding but that was a few years ago. 

“Hey Javier.” She says stiffly, still pissed at him for jilting her despite having her family and rich husband. 

“How you been?” He asks, shifting from one foot to the other. 

“Good. You’re with her?” She jerks her chin at your retreating form and Javier sighs, shaking his head. 

“She still hates me.” He reveals and Lorraine scoffs, “she didn’t used to.” 

Javier nods, heart aching a little, “yeah, well, it was good to see you. Happy Holidays.” He says and stalks off to find your mom who had left him to talk.

Out in the parking lot, you bite your lip and lean next to the car. Digging into your purse for a cigarette, you had sworn you were quitting, but you need one. Actually you need a stiff drink but the smoke would have to do. Suddenly thinking about memories better left buried. 

**** 

“So you wanna go out? The Old Rodeo?” The easy smirk in Javi’s face makes your cunt clench. There’s nothing good in that smirk and you love it. “Get something to eat and a lot to drink?” He winks outrageously and does this little move with his thumb around his mouth to bring your eyes to them. Not that you don’t often think about kissing him. “See what happens? I’m crazy for not asking you sooner.” 

It’s what you’ve always wanted to hear and you know you are putty in his hand. You always have been, but friends are what you’ve been until this moment. “Of course we can.” You hum, grinning. “I’ll find out what drives the women crazy about the area Lothario.”

Javier remembers that night. The night he was supposed to meet you. He was ready to tell you how he felt, see what happened between you, but you hadn’t shown up. Lorraine approached him that day, his on again off again girlfriend that was off on the day he asked you out but seeing her that afternoon, she wanted to give it another chance and he went with what was comfortable and known after you had blown him off. He was terrified to fuck up your friendship and he was going to tell you that. To explain it, but you didn’t answer your phone and you never let him explain what happened. He regrets that day, regrets going back to Lorraine who ultimately found out on their wedding day why Javier was supposed to meet you. He couldn't marry her. Not when he was in love with you back then. You hate him now and he pretends to hate you.

By the time your mother comes out, you’ve crushed your cigarette out and spritzed yourself with some Sweet Pea body spray. Even though you’re a grown ass woman, your mother doesn’t know that you used to smoke and when she pushes the buggy closer, you shove a stick of gum in your mouth. “Please tell me that you didn’t pay for his beer and rubbers?” You ask your mom, taking the keys from her and opening the trunk.

Your mom shakes her head, “that’s all he got, sweetheart.” She explains just as Javier comes out of the grocery store and over to the car. 

“Thanks for getting those things.” Javier says to your mom and kisses her cheek before he starts to load the car.

Huffing, you roll your eyes and barely resist the urge to slam the trunk closed on his hands. Instead of commenting, you place the eggs and the bread on top and take the cart. “I’ll return it.” You mutter, more for your mother than Javi. You just know he would be the type to not return it to the cart corral.

Javier gets in the car, the front seat again, and you huff as you get in behind him. He turns to look at you as your mom starts to drive out of the parking lot. “Do you smell smoke?” He asks your mom, sniffing, and he leans closer to you, “did you just smoke?”

You jerk back, scowling at him and wishing to hell you had never met Javier Peña. “No! What is wrong with you? Stop sniffing me, you pervert.” You hiss, shooting him a deadly glare. “Just because you smell like the inside of an ashtray doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

Javier chuckles and shakes his head, “whatever, Chiquita. You tell yourself what you wanna believe.” He scoffs and then he smirks, “besides, you know that smoking is bad for you. Don’t want anything bad to happen to my step sister.” He feigns concern, knowing he will rile you up.

“I am not your step sister.” You hiss, even though you know that you technically are. “Well, honey….” Your mom interrupts and you sigh. 

“Mom, please. The last thing I want is to be associated with this asshole, let alone related to him. Just let me pretend. Chucho is amazing, but I don’t know how he turned out like he did.” You huff, pointing at Javier. 

Javier is a little hurt by your jab. His dad is a great man, one he could only aspire to be. His unwavering loyalty and dedication is something that he could wish for but fall short every time. “Whatever. Your mom clearly didn’t raise you to be like her. She’s not a bitch.” He hits back, crossing his arms as he stares out of the window.

You hiss out an angry breath and try not to let him get to you. It hurts, but you’ve been a bitch, being a bitch is better than letting him hurt you. “Okay you two.” Your mom sighs, driving you all home. “Please just get along for the holidays?” She begs. 

“Fine.” You decide. “I have no problem ignoring him for the holiday.”

Javier snorts, shaking his head but not saying anything else. He doesn’t understand why you hate him so much. He hasn’t done anything to you. He has no idea why you started hating him when he got with Lorraine. You hadn’t even shown up for your date that night. You were his best friend once.

The rest of the trip is spent in silence and you wonder how the hell you can cut this trip short and get out of spending any more time with Javier than you have to. When you get to the house, you jump out and start immediately unloading the groceries, shoving Javi's bags into his hands. "Got the rest, go do whatever."

Javier frowns but doesn’t argue. He’s sick of arguing. He takes his things into the house and puts the beers in the fridge before taking the condoms to his room. He feels like a teenager again. Awkward and unsure. You make him feel like that. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and he doesn’t know what to do about spending those days with his family. He decides to avoid it for as long as he can so he grabs the keys to his truck and decides to go for a drink at the dive bar he used to frequent before he left Laredo.

You’re unloading the groceries when you hear the truck start up and you sigh in relief. “Thank God.” You murmur, even though your stomach twists in guilt. Feeling like you’ve run Javi off. 

“What happened between you two?” Your mother demands but you just shake your head. 

“Mom, please, I don’t want to talk about it.” You beg. “I just- I don’t like him, okay? End of story.”

Your mom sighs but nods, “just - just try to make the best of it, okay sweetheart? It’s Christmas.” She says and you nod, unable to agree verbally. 

**** 

Javier returns to the ranch around 2am. He had met a girl - someone new in town - and Javier flirts but it doesn’t feel right. He frowns when she invites him back to her place and usually he’d say yes but for some reason, he can’t do it. Instead, he heads home and gets into bed without disturbing anyone.

You're sitting on the porch when the truck comes creeping up the drive with the lights off. Sneaking in. You snort to yourself when Javi doesn’t even see you on the porch when he slips into the house. Making you wonder where he had spent the night. Reminding yourself that you shouldn’t care. When you slip back in the house, you hear Javi starting to snore in his bedroom and you huff to yourself. With Chucho’s snoring in the bedroom he shares with your mom, it’s pretty apparent that snoring runs in the family. You climb back into your bed, wondering if you just need to go home, let them enjoy the holiday without you.

The next morning, Javier comes in to find your mom cooking breakfast, a groan escaping his lips when she puts a cup of coffee in his hand. “You are too good to me.” He tells her with a grin and a wink, “thanks.” He sits down at the table and reaches for the pack of smokes he left there.

When you shuffle into the kitchen, you narrow your eyes at the cigarette that is in Javier's hand. Craving it and finding it hypocritical that the bastard would bust your balls about smoking and he is puffing on one right in front of your mother and his dad. "Morning." You huff, moving over to your mom to give her a kiss and to take the coffee mug that she is holding out for you. "Thank you."

Javier watches you until his Pa gets his attention. “Let’s get the animals all fed early today so we aren’t dealing with them tonight or tomorrow morning.” Javier nods, knowing that his dad will want to relax for Christmas Eve dinner and tomorrow. “Sure thing, Pa.”

Sighing softly in relief, you relax when you realize that Javier won't be hovering all day. "Mom, I'll help you get everything ready, sound good?" you ask after taking a sip of the hot brew. "You shouldn't have to do all the cooking."

Your mom nods, “thank you, darling. Don’t be silly about spending the whole day helping me. I want you to enjoy the holiday since you’re home. I’m so glad to have you home.” She says and reaches for you to wrap her arms around you. “I love you.” She murmurs, getting a little emotional and Javier looks away, feeling like he’s invading when you hug your mom back.

"I love you too." You murmur softly, squeezing her tight. "I'll enjoy my holiday as long as I'm with you." You promise. "I'll help you and then I'll go do some last minute shopping."

Your mom nods, smiling and grateful to have you here. She gestures to the table, “sit down. Breakfast is nearly ready.” 

You sigh and then choke as you sit down next to Javier who is still smoking while he reads a section of the paper. “You know those things will kill you.” You remind him despite your hypocrisy. 

“Not if you do first, baby.” He winks at you and takes another drag.

"Don't tempt me." You grumble under your breath and roll your eyes as you fix your plate. You'll eat and then concentrate on your coffee.

Javier grabs a piece of toast and bites into it obnoxiously, wanting to see you get annoyed with him. You may hate him but he loves to see you riled up. At least it’s emotion.

You remember the promise you made to yourself, rolling your eyes instead of commenting and taking a sip of your coffee. "Thanks for breakfast, mom. You are amazing."

Your mom grins, pleased at the praise and Javier nods, “you are a great cook. My dad and I struggled for years after my mom died to make something half edible. We even burned the toast.” He confesses and takes another bite of the toast.

You don't make a snide comment, knowing the loss of his mother was hard for Javi, and for Chucho. It would be beyond disgusting to insult that. You set your coffee down and pick up your fork to take a bite of the eggs.

Javier digs into the rest of breakfast, groaning at the food, and he realizes he hasn’t been this hungry in a long time. He swallows down each gulp like a man starved and he pushes the plate back after he finishes to rub his stomach. He didn’t eat much in Colombia, running on booze and coffee and cigarettes.

You don't comment on the fact that Javi wolfed down his food, not even looking over at him as you eat your own meal. "So I was thinking," you start. "Why don't I cook dinner, since you'll be busy working on Christmas dinner?" You offer.

Your mom shakes her head, “oh baby. No. No. I can’t do that. Honey, I need you to relax too. It’s your first holiday home in forever. Let me make it special for you.” She offers and Javier shakes his head, “I don’t mind helping.”

You snort and cut your gaze over to him. "What could you do?" You ask. "You just said that you burned toast. Why the hell would we want burnt food?"

“I can cut shit up.” He offers, “boil water. I don’t know. It’s a lot of work to do alone. I can be ordered around like a good boy.” He promises with a smirk, picking up his coffee cup.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. "I doubt you've ever been a good boy." You huff. "No, I'm good. I don't think I want you around sharp knives. I might get confused and cut you."

Javier snorts, “more like stab me.” He says and you raise your eyebrows, “you said it.” 

Your mom shakes her head, “I’ll cook. You kids just focus on being nice to each other.” 

Chucho nods, “be nice, mijo.” He orders and Javier can’t argue with his father.

You smirk at Javi after his father tells him to be nice, barely resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at him. "I told you mom, I'll be civil. That's the best I can offer."

Javier rolls his eyes and stands up, putting his plate in the sink along with his coffee cup and he stalks out of the room to get ready for a day on the ranch helping his dad have everything sorted so he can enjoy Christmas without worrying about the animals or the ranch.

It's sweet, watching Chucho lean over your mom and give her a kiss. Smiling softly and patting her cheek when he tells him that he will be back later. It's the kind of relationship that you had always wished for yourself but it wasn't to be.

It’s late afternoon and you’re in the kitchen helping your mom prepare dinner when Javi comes in. It’s a cold day for Texas but Javi has been fixing the mower when he spilled oil on his shirt. He pulls it off and leaves it on the porch in a pile, deciding to come inside shirtless so he can wash his hands.

Your mom is in her bedroom, stripping her sheets to wash and you are in the kitchen, prepping food. The radio is on, playing the top 10 countdown and you are singing along to the music. Dancing around as you mix the cookie dough up. Distracted to the point where you don't hear the back door open.

Javier stops in the kitchen, shirtless, and he grins as you shake your hips and sings to the music. “I didn’t know you could dance so well, Chiquita.” He compliments you with a chuckle and he crosses his arms, oily hands forgotten.

Yelping in surprise, you almost drop the bowl. "Shit!" You slam the bowl down and glare at Javi as he grins at you. "What the fuck are you doing? Sneaking up on me?"

“I came in to wash my hands. Got covered in oil and came in to see you dancing. I ain’t ever seen you dance like that before, Chiquita.” He smirks and hums, “actually…a few times back when we - well, when you didn’t hate me.”

You stiffen when he has the audacity to bring up that time. "Yeah, well there's a lot you haven't seen, Peña." You huff, reaching over and slapping off the radio. "And you won't see. So just wash your hands and get on with what you were doing."

He knows you’re mad at him and he kinda likes it. He walks over to sink, grabbing the soap to wash off his hands and you’re next to him, and he can smell your perfume. He leans in closer unconsciously drawn to you. His body pressing against you without thought.

"What the fuck are you doing?" It takes you a split second before you react to him leaning into you. Hating how your pulse jumps and your entire body seems to tighten in anticipation.  You step back and look at him in disgust. "I'm not one of your fucking conquests. Don't touch me."

Javier pulls back instantly, the spell he was under is broken and he snarls at you, curling his upper lip. “You should be so lucky. My dick would get fucking bitten off by you.” He hisses and stalks into his bedroom to grab another shirt and hide his embarrassment. He doesn’t understand why you hate him so much. Especially not when he - when he was - well, it doesn’t matter now.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, shaking your head. "Fucking forget about him." You tell yourself quietly. "He just is a piece of shit who would break your heart again."

Javier sighs and pulls a clean shirt on before he heads back out to continue helping his dad. He is anxious about dinner later. Wondering if you’re gonna behave or if he’s gonna end up fighting with you. “Why do you fight with her?” Chucho asks his son as they finish up work. 

“I- I fight with her because - well, it’s complicated. She hates me.” Javier reveals and Chucho shakes his head, “she doesn’t. I don’t see hate in her eyes. I see hurt. You need to talk to her, figure out what happened.”

When your mom comes back into the kitchen, you plaster a smile on your face and quickly escape. Taking your rental car and leaving the ranch to drive into town. Happy to escape and rolling the window down to smoke a cigarette as you drive. Blowing the smoke out of the car and sighing to yourself. Now that Javi is here, you will be obligated to get him something. So you have to find a gift for the asshole.

Javier decides to take his dad’s advice, he will talk to you and see what the fuck happened to make you hate him. He showers when he comes back inside and curses as he struggles to wrap the presents he bought. Including the necklace he got you when he was in Colombia. He wasn’t sure when he’d see you but it was made for you and he had to buy it.

Taking your time shopping, you meander in and out of shops, finally deciding on a gift for Javier. Really, two. One that spells out how you feel and another that your mother would approve of. You might be taking more time than normal so you didn't have to go back to the ranch just yet. Deciding to have the gifts you had brought for Chucho and your mom, along with the newly bought gifts for Javier wrapped at the little booth that is set up on the square. The beautiful wrapping is far superior than your own.

Javier places his haphazardly wrapped presents under the tree, shaking his head at how bad a job he did but he hopes everyone likes the presents he got. He wipes his hands on his jeans and grabs a beer, sitting down with his pa on the sofa just as you come back into the house. “Jesus, you go shopping in Dallas? You’ve been gone so long.” Javier comments.

You barely resist the urge to make a snarky comment and just shrug. “Got caught up.” You answer, feeling a little resentful that he believes you should answer to him. You are nothing to each other and hopefully won’t see each other again for years after the New Year’s party. Bringing the presents over, you place them under the tree and disappear down the hall to your bedroom to put your purse up.

Chucho looks over at Javier who sighs and stands up, following you down the hall and he knocks on the door. “Mom. I-” He doesn’t wait for you to say ‘come in’ when he enters and your eyes widen when he shuts the door behind him. “Javi. What the fuck-” 

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “Please, Chiquita. I need to know what the fuck it is I’ve done that makes you hate me so much.”

“I-“ your mouth drops open in surprise and you can’t believe this asshole doesn’t even remember. “I’m sure it’ll come to you if you think really hard on it. Now, I’d like you to leave my room.” You tell him, having no interest in getting into things with him. He had made his choice and you had moved on.

He frowns, “you seriously are a fucking bitch. Why can’t you just be fucking upfront instead of messing with me as much as possible.” He growls, “I’m over your little games. Fuck you.” He hisses before he leaves your room, slamming the door behind him. He storms outside, grabbing his cigarettes and he lights one as soon as he’s outside, trying to calm himself down.

In your room, you hate how his words affect you. Sinking down onto the bed, you try to stop yourself from crying. Thinking that you had cried yourself dry years ago and hating that Javier Peña still has that power over you. Wiping your eyes, you pick up your bag off the floor and toss it on the bed, ready to repack and leave.

He isn’t sure how long he stays outside, wandering the property, and he eventually looks up at the stars twinkling in the sky. “Mama. I- I don’t know what to do. She - she’s still so fucking gorgeous and I have no clue why she stopped talking to me. Seeing her again…I’m so confused. What do I do?” He asks the stars, wishing his mom was here to guide him.

Your bags packed, you sneak them outside and into the rental car. Unsure of why you are hanging around, but maybe it’s just to concede. Tell Javier that he’s won and you won’t be back around anymore. You’ll make it up to your mom, you’ll fly her out to spend a few weeks with you on your own turf. Your own cigarette is in hand for a pre-trip smoke as you spy a lone figure out by the barns and you decide to walk down there.

Javier caresses the horse as he stands in the barn, deciding to take more time to himself before he heads back inside for a “family dinner.” He hears a noise and turns to see you standing there, cigarette in hand. “You drop that, we all go up in flames.” He warns you, turning back to the horse.

“I’m not stupid enough to drop a cigarette around all the hay.” You snort, annoyed that he can’t help but be a condescending prick. “Came to tell you I’m leaving.” You take another drag off the cigarette before you smother the cherry on a wooden post until it’s out. “So you don’t have to worry about me being a bitch anymore. You win. I’ll fly my mom out to spend time with her during the year.” You hate looking at him, hate that you’ll remember the shock on his face but you make yourself turn around and start walking away. “Oh.” You toss over your shoulder. “Fuck you too, Peña.”

He hisses, rushing to follow you and he grabs your shoulder. “Fuck me? Fuck you. You’re gonna leave your mom on Christmas when you haven’t seen her in years. For what? Because of me? I’ll go. I’ll fucking leave then.” He growls at you and he spins you around to face him. “You can’t fucking leave.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what I can and can’t do!” You push him away, horrified that angry tears have sprang up in your eyes. “I don’t want to be here with you! I don’t want to fucking see you! Ever!” You bite your lip and wipe your tears. “You ruined Christmas, not me. Just like you ruin everything.”

“I don’t even know what I did. I have no fucking clue why you hate me. Can you at least tell me what I did before you crucify me?” He pleads, hunching over in frustration as you stand in the entrance to the barn.

You stare at him for a second and then you laugh. Deep and from your belly, making you double over as the tears of frustrated mirth roll down your cheeks. “Of course you don't remember!” You scoff. “Why the fuck would you remember shattering my heart? Asking me out on a fucking date and making me believe that things between us were finally going to change.” You stop laughing and shoot him a withering look, even with the tear streaks on your skin. “Was it on purpose? Making out with Lorraine when I showed up for our date? To sink the knife in and drive the message home that I wasn’t good enough for you? I know it was a stupid, pathetic crush, I was hopelessly in love with you.” You snort. “You didn’t have to be cruel.”

“You thought- fuck. I- you don’t even know what I was thinking when I asked you to the bar, do you? And when I got there, Lorraine was there and she was trying to win me back. She - she pounced on me when I- fuck. She must’ve seen you walk in.” He rambles, “she set it up and I- shit. You saw - oh shit.” He chokes, realizing how much Lorraine messed up his life. She knew he was planning to meet you and that he - “Fuck!” He yells at the sky, frustrated and so fucking angry. The miscommunication and the deception make his blood boil. “Fuck you!” He shouts again at the sky, hoping Lorraine hears him. “Fuck me? Fuck you!” You growl, thinking he is talking to you. 

“Fuck you!” He hisses back, furious at the universe. “Fuck you, Chiquita. Fuck-” He surges forward to cup your cheeks, pressing his lips to yours.

You huff against his lips, pulling back and drawing your hand back to slap him. The crack of the hit echoes around the pen. “Fuck you!” You hiss, but Javi just growls your name and grabs you by the back of the neck to plaster his lips against yours again. Making you melt as you stop resisting and kiss him back with just as much angry passion as he is kissing you.

He groans into your mouth, guiding you backwards into the barn and towards the fresh pile of hay, and he lowers you down onto it. He hovers over you, his lips kissing your jaw. “Tell me to stop.” He begs, reaching down to grab your thigh to hitch it over his hip. “Tell me to fucking stop.” He pleads, needing you to tell him you don’t want this before he makes you moan.

You should. You should push him away and slap him again, but you don’t. Too busy sinking your fingers into his hair and tugging on it hard enough to make him hiss. One night. You’ll take this one night with him and then you’ll leave. “Don’t stop.” You whimper, wanting to have him just once.

He groans in relief when you don’t push him away. His hand slides along your thigh to slip under the dress you put on for Christmas Eve dinner. His fingers pressing against your clit through the cotton and he kisses down your neck until he’s nipping at the swell of your breast. “Always been so fucking beautiful.” He mutters into your skin as his fingers slide under the elastic of your panties so he can rub your clit properly.

You huff, still not understanding everything that happened so many years ago, but his fingers are distracting. “Javi.” You moan softly, wishing you could kiss him, bite him as he rubs your clit and his nose pushes down the top of your dress to expose your tits. “Please.”

He can’t deny you anything when you whimper like that. He mouths at your nipple, biting down as you tug on his hair, and he pushes two fingers inside of you. “Waited so fucking long to hear those sweet moans. Wanna hear you cum. Wanna feel your pussy squeeze me, hermosa.” He murmurs into your ear as he presses his thumb into your clit.

Moaning, you close your eyes and absorb the stretch of his fingers. It’s so good. So filling. There’s a chance - a very large one - that this is some kind of notch in his belt. That he wants to touch you just so he can hold it over your head, but you don’t care. You just want to be touched. To have him like this. “Fuck, Javi- please.”

He hisses when your walls grip his fingers, showing him how tight you could get around his cock, and he groans your name. “I got you, hermosa.” He promises, “I got you baby.” He rubs your clit a little faster with his thumb, desperately needing you to cum before he fills you with his cock.

You whine, turning your head and pressing your lips together to muffle the sounds. The last thing you want is for your mom and Chucho to hear you and come outside. Closing your eyes, you love the little encouraging grunts he gives as he fingers you until you’re clenching down around his fingers and gasping out his name.

Javier groans when you soak his fingers and he works you through it. “That’s it. Such a good girl.” He murmurs, withdrawing his fingers after you start to whine and he shoves them in his mouth, wanting to taste you. “Baby. Shit. Tell me I can fuck you. Or tell me to stop.” He pleads as he squeezes his cock through his jeans.

Your dress is hiked up and your tits pulled out. Reaching for the band of your panties, you lift your hips to push them down. “Take your fucking pants off, Peña.” You growl, tossing the soaked material to the side and reaching for his belt.

He groans when you pull his hard cock out. He's throbbing and leaking pre-cum. The front of his jeans are dark from it, and he bats your hand away when you start to pump him. "Gonna fuck you." He promises, shuffling close until he's lined up and he starts to slowly push inside of you.

Your legs brace on either side of his hips and your nails curl into the fabric of his plaid shirt. He’s thick and stretches you out. “Fuck, Javi.” You whine, tilting your head up to kiss along his jaw. “Fuck.”

He pants, your cunt is gripping him like a vice, and he struggles to control himself. He takes a deep breath and nudges his nose against yours. He pushes deep, throbbing inside of you, and he slowly pulls out of you then pushes back in a little faster. "Mierda." He pants, starting to fuck you properly.

You had always wondered if Javi was cocky because he was that good or if it was a false sense of bravado but you quickly find out. The short, deep thrusts of his cock seem to push against the spongy, sensitive parts of you perfectly. “Shit is right.” You moan, wrapping your legs around him as he rocks into you. Regardless of how many women he’s fucked, you’re in his arms right now. “God, Javi, more.”

He pants, his cock twitching inside of you, and he grabs your thigh, lifting it higher so he can press deeper inside of you. “So fucking good, baby. Always thought you would be. Always imagined you’d blow my mind.” He rambles as he rocks into you over and over.

Closing your eyes, you resist the urge to spit at him that he could have found out years ago. Instead, you just tighten your muscles around him and moan quietly. You don’t want to ruin this or fight with him when he’s inside you, still unsure of what the fuck happened but you have your suspicions. “Fuck.”

He rocks into you, kissing along your neck, and he can’t resist biting along your skin. He’s always been a biter and he feels a little satisfied to bite your neck and mark you. His thrusts get sloppily, harder, as he gets closer but he needs you to cum first. Usually, he’d last longer but this is you and the fire is still blazing through his veins.

You feel his entire body tensing and moan softly. Stroking his back under his shirt and feeling the muscles move. “So good, fuck, you’re so good.” You praise softly, overwhelmed by how deep he plunges into you.

“Cum for me, hermosa.” He orders, “cum, Chiquita.” He demands, reaching between you to rub your clit in hopes that you’ll fall apart just before he does.

You whimper at the additional stimulation, body tensing under his. Rocking your hips up to his hand until you are falling apart with a choked cry.

“That’s it baby. Fuck. Oh shit. Oh.” He grunts as he thrusts three more times before he’s pulling out to cum on your thigh and over the hay. “Jesus.” He hisses, unable to believe he couldn’t even hold off until he could jerk himself.

You don’t know if you should be grateful or insulted that he pulled out to cum. You’re on birth control but he doesn’t know that. You decide that you just won’t address it. “Well….that just happened.” You hum, leaning back into the hay to catch your breath.

Javier chuckles, “yeah. A bit overdue.” He confesses and you freeze under him. 

“It’s getting late and I- we need to-” You rush out as you push on his chest and he frowns as he shifts off of you, working fast to tuck himself back into his pants.

“Hermosa-“ Javi starts and you grab your panties and hurry to put them back on after using some hay to wipe the cum off your skin. 

“We should get back.” You interrupt. “Mom worked hard on dinner.” You are confused and need time to process what just happened. “Don’t come in right behind me.” You tell him before you rush towards the house.

Javier stares at the barn door you rushed out of. His stomach twisting, and he rubs his cheek, "shit." He hisses, unsure of what happens next. He gave in. He gave in to the fucking feelings and desires he has had for years. He should've stayed away, not hurt you anymore than he has. "Fuck." He growls as he stands and the horses look over at him. "Don't look at me like that, asshole." He growls at the horse before he corrects his clothes and makes his way back to the house.

You slip into the house and down the hall to the bathroom. Staring at your reflection in the mirror and wondering what the fuck you have done. You crossed a line with Javier and now you are in unfamiliar water. Huffing before you grab a rag and start cleaning yourself up better so you don’t smell like cum.

Javier slips back into the living room, grabbing the beer his dad offers him and he sits down and stares at the empty hall. “Huh?” He grunts at his dad who asks him a question. 

“I asked if you got all the animals fed and watered.” Chucho repeats with a suspicious frown and Javi nods. 

“Yeah. I did. I- they are good.” He says half minded as he sips the beer and wonders what the fuck you’re thinking.

You probably spend more time in the bathroom than you should, checking your reflection to make sure no one can tell what you’ve been up to. Finally turning off the light and slipping out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to grab a glass of wine.

Javier watches you rush into the kitchen and Chucho notices. “You need to talk to her, mijo. Tell her what happened.” He urges and Javier shakes his head, “she wouldn’t believe me anyway.” Your mom calls for everyone to get around the table, it’s time for dinner. When Javier comes to the table, you’re downing the glass of wine in your hand, and he sighs when he takes a seat opposite you.

Your eyes slide over to him and you lower the glass as you swallow the last of the wine down. “What?” You ask, wondering why he is sighing. He got what he wanted, and you even stayed. 

“Oh sweetie, you want more?” Your mother asks and you nod. 

“Please?” You ask desperately. “I need it.”

Javi frowns as you take a gulp of your now full glass of wine. Your mom wants to say grace and Javier joins his hand with yours. Opening one eye to see what you’re doing, he rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, silently relaying he wants to talk later.

You shiver and when the prayer is over, you quickly pull your hand out of Javi’s. “Food looks amazing, mom.” You gush. “You did a fantastic job.”

Javier nods, "it's really good, ma'am." He says and your mom rolls her eyes, "how many times I gotta tell you to not call me that?" She reminds him and he chuckles, "sorry ma'am." 

He winks at her and she giggles, making Chucho snort, "stop flirting with my wife, boy." He teases his son who rolls his eyes, "unless you're trying to make good with my step daughter." Chucho says and Javier chokes on his food.

You laugh, a little butter and shake your head. “Hell no.” You assure Chucho. “You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t think he’s ever even looked at me twice.” You flash the older man a smile and a small shrug.

Javier frowns, glancing across the room to the tree where his present for you is. He wonders if you’ll like it or if you’re going to reject it…and him. He downs the rest of his beer and digs back in to his food, anxious and not liking the way you dismissed him so easily.

You eat quietly, ignoring the way that your mother and Chucho exchange pointed looks. Reminding yourself that you just need to survive the holiday and then you’ll never see or hear from Javier again. “So what are your plans?” Your mom asks and you shrug. 

“Work.” You answer quietly. “Always work.”

Javier chimes in, “you can’t always work. Life has to fit in sometimes. A personal life.” He knows he’s a hypocrite saying that when his own world has revolved around work for so long. “Gotta have a balance.” He’s realized that now he’s older.

“One day.” You huff. “I’ll find a life when I get my promotion.” You have told yourself that for countless milestones but you never do. You enjoy your relatively drama free personal life. 

“Honey…..you need to start dating.” Your mom puts in and you roll your eyes. “No thanks. I’m good.”

Javier snorts, “more like she’s scared of what could happen if she actually cared for someone.” He says and Chucho nudges his leg under the table in a warning.

Your eyes slide towards Javier and narrow. “Tried that once. He was a pig.” You hiss. “Decided that it wasn’t worth my time. Even though I don’t fuck for sport, I find plenty of companionship when I want it.” Your mom hisses your name, but you don’t back down from staring at the man who drives you insane.

Javier clenches his jaw at your thinly veiled insult towards him. He didn’t get a chance to explain what happened. He just wants a chance to tell you what went down that night. “Yeah. I’m sure you do.” Javier scoffs, “even in the middle of nowhere.”

Smirking, you shrug. “Mistakes happen, right?” You say smugly. You know now that you were just a notch in his belt. You can leave without any regrets. “Quickly forgotten.”

He shakes his head and scoffs, picking up another beer he had on the table to sip. "I don't forget things as easily. If ever." He says, letting himself stare at you and wanting to see you become uncomfortable under his gaze.

The table becomes a battleground, each one of you staring at the other. Unwilling to back down, you glare at Javi, wondering why you ever had that moment of insanity and let him touch you.

The dessert is finally served and Chucho and your mom are relieved. "Maybe we can have a drink on the porch?" Your mom suggests, wanting to get some air after dessert is finished. 

Chucho nods, "you kids can do the washing up." He says, following your mom after grabbing the bottle of wine, to follow her out on the porch.

Instead of speaking, you just start collecting the dirty dishes and your chair scrapes back from the table. Quickly moving to the sink to start some dish water to wash dishes. The quicker that you clean up, the quicker that you can escape Javier.

Javier huffs when you try to clean up as quickly as possible to get away from him. You are washing a dish when he places his arms on either side of you, trapping you against the sink. “Why’d you run away?” He asks, meaning tonight, the bar that night, and from town, all in the same heavy question. His nose running along your neck, “why’d you run?”

“You made your choice.” You jerk away from him and concentrate on the dishes. Refusing to melt under his casual seduction. “It wasn’t me. Why would I stick around and watch you play house with her?” You demand. “I’m not that pathetic.”

Javier sighs and rests his hands on the counter. “I didn’t- I was there to meet you. I was gonna have the date with you and she pounced on me. You didn’t see me push her away. I told her I was done with her and then you- you never showed and I thought I had my answer. That you didn’t feel the same way. So I went back to Lorraine, trying to figure out how the fuck to fall out of love with you.” He confesses, “you- you made me - you broke my heart that night.” He admits and knows you won’t believe him.

“Bullshit.” You close your eyes, hands under the water and you take a deep breath to keep from crying. The problem is that you want to believe it, want to believe that he had not intentionally been horrible. “Your hands were on her ass and her tongue was down your throat.” You remind him. “Look, I can’t - it’s not-“ you sigh again. “You fucked me, okay? You got what you wanted. It was pretty good. Wouldn’t mind if it happened again, but I don’t need words anymore. You changed me that night, you broke me.”

He shakes his head, “she put my hands on her ass and shoved her tongue down my throat. She - she forced herself on me and I- I pushed her away seconds later. You didn’t see me push her away. She knew how I- fuck. She knew how I felt about you and she was jealous. That’s why we broke up the first time. She found out about my feelings for you and dumped me. Then she wanted me back. Shit. I love you. I still love you.” He chokes, hating how vulnerable he feels.

Eyes wide, you turn your head and look at him in shock. “You still love me?” You ask in disbelief. “You haven’t seen me in forever and you’ve- you’ve moved on. You knew where I was, you could have come to me, but you got engaged to her.”

“I thought you hated me. You never returned my calls. Wouldn’t answer your door to me. Your mom said you’d left and I- I figured I’d do the right thing after Lorraine told me she was pregnant. She wasn’t. She lied so I’d propose and she railroaded a wedding that ended with me leaving her hanging at the altar. I couldn’t do it. I left that same day to go to the DEA and then all those years in Colombia. I never stopped thinking about you. And seeing you now…made me remember why I love you.” He finishes, unsure and so unused to declarations of love but you need to know the truth.

“Why?” You demand, unwilling to believe it right away yet it sounds like something Lorraine would do. “Why would you love me? I’ve been cold and sarcastic to you. Other than in the barn just before dinner.”

Javier chuckles, “honestly? I loved you back then because you’re funny, you’re kind. You’re my best friend and I fell in love with you without even realizing it and it fucking terrified me but baby, I was a coward then. I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to make a difference. I’m older now, I got that out of my system and I know what I want. I want you. I want to love you. You’re even more gorgeous and fucking sexy when you get mad at me.” He confesses, “but I guess you hate me too much and I get that. I- forget I said anything. Forget what happened in the barn. Let’s just get the holidays over with and you can leave.” He says as he pushes off of the counter to head down the hall to wallow and try to smother his mortification.

You should follow him, but you know that whatever you say right now, Javier will believe that it’s out of pity. Sighing to yourself as you finish up the dishes. Unsure of how to process this, and what you feel. You’ve been angry at him for so long because you were in love with him. Desperately so. Are you still angry because you’re still in love with him? Or the version of him from so many years ago? It’s confusing and frustrating, so when you’re done, you walk down the hall, pausing in front of his door.

Javier hears you outside of his room, and he sits up, glasses perched on his nose as he sets the book down he bought in the airport in hopes of relaxing enough to read something at some point. That hope is short lived and he deflates when he hears you continue down the hall to your room. You hate him. He fucked it up. With a sigh, he takes his glasses off and tosses the book onto the nightstand, deciding to get some sleep instead of letting his mind wander all night long.

The night passes, restlessly tossing and turning. Your sleep is interrupted by dreams of what could have been if you hadn’t run away. Javier as your husband, celebrating Christmas and bringing the baby for Chucho and your mom to spoil. Waking up before the sun rises, you slip out of the bed and into the kitchen to make coffee and sneak a cigarette. You had only brought one pack, but you’re going to smoke all of them before the holiday is over obviously.

Javier groans as he gets up, his back aching more than it used to. Fuck, he’s getting old. He takes a piss and brushes his teeth before heading into the kitchen wearing some boxers he grabbed off of the floor. It doesn’t seem like anyone is up yet until he sees the coffee pot. Pouring himself a cup, he heads onto the porch to find you smoking. “Those things will kill you.” He says, shivering at the cool air and taking a sip of his coffee.

“Hello pot.” You blow out the smoke and look at the cigarette. “I’m kettle. Didn’t you smoke a cigarette in the car with my mom? Besides, I hadn’t smoked in nearly a month before I came here.”

Javier snorts, “nice to meet you kettle.” He chuckles softly, taking another sip of his coffee and he walks over to you, plucking the cigarette out of your hand so he can take a drag, his eyes fixed on yours.

You huff slightly but you don’t glare at him. Taking a sip of your coffee and then looking out over the ranch. “Your dad is good for my mother.” You admit quietly. “She gushes when she talks about him and never thought that she would ever find someone to make her happy after dad died.”

Javier nods, “I never thought my dad would find someone after my mom died. It was hard…her dying so young of cancer and he - he struggled. We both did. I think that’s why I wanted to get out of Laredo as soon as possible when I had the chance. All those years away…I didn’t achieve anything really. Didn’t change the world. Those bastards are still peddling drugs across the border and I- I missed out on an opportunity to try and get the woman I love to be mine.” He says as he takes another drag.

“From what everyone has said, you managed to find plenty of companionship in Colombia.” You hadn’t wanted to talk about Javier, but your mom had kept you informed about his doings. “If you had convinced her, you couldn’t have done that. Not without losing your dick.”

“I - I was getting information. Men like to blabber when they are inside a beautiful woman. It got us a lot of intel and those women got to feed their kids. And if I had convinced her, I wouldn’t have gone. And I wouldn’t have had that kind of companionship. Life happens and here we are. Together. On this porch. It’s Christmas. Merry Christmas baby.” He murmurs, slowly leaning towards you. He takes a second to let you lean back before kissing your cheek.

“Merry Christmas.” You murmur, closing your eyes at the feeling of his lips against your cheek. “You have gone. I wouldn’t have wanted you to give up on your ideals and dreams for a relationship. I’m not Lorraine.”

He nods after he pulls back, “you’re not Lorraine. You- you’re you. I should’ve seen you earlier and I’m sorry. About everything. Last night. The night before. All the nights before that. I fucked up, hermosa. Just - just be happy, yeah?” He says as he hands you back the cigarette and heads inside, ready to nurse his heart.

“Javi- stop.” Reaching out, you touch his wrist. “Don’t go. I don’t know- who knows what would have happened?” You ask softly. “Back then. But I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I’m tired of avoiding you.”

Javier stares at you and nods, “let’s start again.” He walks up to you and holds his hand out, “hi. I’m Javier Peña. Ex- DEA agent. Total fuck up and chain smoker.” He declares with a soft smirk.

You chuckle quietly and introduce yourself. “Workaholic, total bitch and secret smoker.” You hum, squeezing his hand gently. “Nice to meet you.”

Javier squeezes your hand back and grins, “pleasure, baby. It’s a pleasure.” He winks and the lights in the kitchen turn on as your mom enters. “You two are out here? It’s so cold. Come inside.” She demands and Javier winks at you again as he lets you walk in ahead of him.

“Merry Christmas, mom.” You swoop in for a hug and she eyes you suspiciously. 

“Please, please behave today.” She begs quietly, making you feel guilty for how rude you’ve been. 

“I will, mom. Javi and I have called a truce.”

Javier nods as he comes over to give your mom a hug and wish her Merry Christmas. “We called a ceasefire for today.” He promises, “we are gonna make today special.” He assures her and she eyes you both cautiously. “I guess we will see.” She hums, “now, you both wanna help me with breakfast?” She asks and you nod.

Making breakfast doesn’t cause any arguments. Javi follows directions surprisingly well and there are moments that you snicker at his dry wit. Once upon a time, you were best friends and if nothing else, you wouldn’t mind having your friend back. Chucho comes in when it’s ready, sleeping in for once and you’re proud of the fact that he’s obviously been away but stayed in bed to rest. “Good morning.” You hum, kissing your stepfather on the cheek. “Feliz Navidad.”

Javier gives his Pa a hug and wishes him merry Christmas. “Breakfast is ready. Let’s sit down and eat and then presents.” Your mom exclaims with excitement, eager to give Chucho her present that she’s thought of since last Christmas.

You bite your lip. Remembering the gift you had picked out for Javier. Hopefully he won’t be too upset since you had bought him something else to replace it. It was a shitty gift, but you were angry when you went shopping. “Sounds great.” You murmur.

The breakfast goes well, civil conversation, and soon you and Javi are quickly washing up while your mom sorts out the gifts from under the tree. “Gift time!” She declares and Javier is anxious about what you think.

You hum and coo when your mother opens the beautiful bracelet that Chucho bought her. “Oh it’s so pretty. You have taste, obviously.” You joke, grinning at him as he puts it on your mother’s wrist.

Chucho grins, happy that your mom is happy and he kisses the back of her hand after securing the bracelet. “It’s so beautiful.” Your mom coos and Chucho winks, “para mi esposa hermosa.” He charms her and she giggles like a schoolgirl. Javier chuckles, pleased to see his dad so happy. Chucho opens his present from your mom. A new shotgun and he is grinning as he examines it. “This is perfect, honey.” He says, knowing his shotgun collection has been a little dated and he needs something new. “This is perfect for out in the fields.” He says, testing the weight of it before he carefully sets it down in the corner. 

“You next.” Your mom says, handing you your presents from her and Chucho and from Javi.

You open the gift from your mother and Chucho, exclaiming happily when they got you a pair of tickets to a concert that you have wanted to go to. “Oh this is wonderful!” You tell them. When it comes to Javi’s gift, you’re surprised when you see the name tag. You hadn’t expected to get anything from him. “You- you didn’t have to get me anything.” You huff

Javier shakes his head slightly, “it’s not much.” He lies even as his stomach twists at the thought of you opening the present. He hopes you don’t hate them. He bites his lip as you take your time unwrapping the small box.

Opening up the small box you gasp in surprise. It’s a necklace. A gorgeous one that has the most beautiful stones in it. “Javi-“ you whisper, wondering where he got this and when. “It’s gorgeous.”

Javier smiles, pleased you like the necklace. “I, uh, I saw it when I was in Colombia and…and I knew it was made for you. I got it. Wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to give it to you.” He admits and rubs his hands together, nervous about you liking the necklace.

“It’s beautiful.” You admit quietly, more moved than you can express for him buying a necklace that he didn’t even know he would give you. “Will you put it on me?” You ask softly.

He nods, standing up and taking the chain from you. His heart is thumping as he delicately fastens the chain around your neck, barely resisting the urge to lean in and kiss your shoulder. “Hermosa.” He murmurs as he steps back from you.

“Thank you.” You murmur quietly, looking into his eyes and hoping that you are showing him how much you appreciate it. “It makes me feel bad now.” You admit as you pick up the parcel you had wrapped for him

He shakes his head and brings it up to his ear, “is it a bomb?” He teases and you giggle, shaking your head. He rips into the paper, exposing the box and he frowns. “Hemorrhoid cream?” He asks, confused and honestly a little hurt.

“Because you’re a ‘pain in my ass’.” You joke lamely and bite your lip before motioning to the other wrapped gift. “I did buy you something else. Your real present.”

Javier sets the cream with an amused snort and he grabs the other present, opening it, and his eyes widen at the expensive leather. His fingers trace the engraving of his initials on the journal and he looks at you. “Thank you. This is - it’s perfect.” He was considering writing down his experiences in Colombia. Something a therapist suggested to him. Perhaps a book in the future.

“I thought it would be appropriate to journal or just write down your thoughts.” You admit, happy that he likes the real gift you had picked out. “The cream was a gag gift, but I wanted you to have something nice.”

He leans in to kiss your cheek, “I love it. The journal. Although…I could use the cream now and then.” He jokes as he leans back. “Thank you.” He murmurs, his eyes flicking down to your lips.

“You’re welcome.” You smile and Chucho clears his throat. “Oh, um, I’m sure you want to open the present from mom and your dad.” You tell him, quickly pulling back and looking at the other present.

Javier nods and moves back to the sofa, sitting down, and he opens the present from his dad and your mom. “Seriously?” His eyes widen and his dad nods, “you need your own place and I don't need a damn teenager in the house.” Chucho teases, “it’s been empty since Jose left a few months ago. It’s yours if you want it.” Chucho offers Javier the keys to the small house that sits on the other side of the ranch, built for the ranch hand by Chucho’s parents. “Thank you.” Javier grins, happy to have his own place and still be able to live on the ranch of his ancestors. 

“Just need you to fill the place up with grandbabies.” Your mom teases and Javier blushes slightly, “gotta find a lady willing to put up with my ass.”

You feel like his eyes are on you and you try to ignore it. “You gave away a house?” You look over at your mom and Chucho, impressed. “So I guess that means Javi is sticking around?”

Javier nods, “I’m staying. I’m done with the DEA. I’m here to help Pa on the ranch. I was gonna look for places in town but this - this is perfect.” He declares, looking back down at the keys in his hand.

You swallow harshly, remembering all the fantasies you had about you and Javi working in the ranch with his dad and one day taking it over. “That’s great. Having your privacy is always a good thing. Saves for embarrassing encounters in the morning.” You joke, wondering if he had meant what he said about still loving you. If he imagined the same life you had before.

Javier stares at you for a long moment, imagining that life with you. Marriage. Children. He never imagined it with anyone else, even Lorraine. He never wanted it with her. When she told him she was pregnant, he was so upset. “Thanks Pa.” Javi leans over to pat his dad on the back before he thanks your mom.

You watch as Javi hugs your mom and gather up the wrapping paper and trash to throw it away. “If you want to go look at the place, I’ll help mom with dinner.” You offer.

“You wanna come look with me? Might need your interior design skills.” He says, tilting his head, and he hopes you don’t decline.

“Oh honey, go with him.” Your mom interjects. “We did most of the hard stuff yesterday. Go get dressed and go see it.” She doesn’t know why the two of you are acting better, but she wants to encourage it as much as possible.

Javier nods, deciding to get dressed too while you do. You meet him outside and he escorts you to the cabin. Tempted to hold your hand but he refrains as you walk in comfortable silence for the first time in years.

The cabin is set apart from the house that his father shares with your mother and the barns. Built about a football field away, the separation is nice. “So you’re back for good?”

“Yeah. I- I didn’t really get a chance to tell you but I’m back.” He rubs his neck, “retired from the DEA and staying in Laredo for good. Pa needs more help now he’s getting older.” He explains, stepping up into the small porch and jangling the keys.

“Well, that’s good.” You tell him. “There once was a time I imagined working here.” You admit. “Living here.” You shake your head at how foolish you were. “Life never turns out the way we expect, huh?”

Javier opens the door and lets you enter first, his dark eyes trained on you as you walk into the house. “You still could if you wanted to.” He murmurs, leaving the door open behind him in case you dash like you always seem to do.

“Oh, I don’t think Chucho and mom would like me staying under their roof for long.” You purposely misunderstand. “It feels like they're still in their honeymoon stage.” You huff a laugh. “I think I heard them last night when I went to the bathroom.”

Javier wrinkles his nose, “I love them but Jesus, didn’t need to know about the old man getting his rocks off.” He shakes his head as if to shake the image. “Baby, I meant you living here…with me.” He says, turning back towards you to see your reaction.

Your eyebrows furrow slightly and you bite your lip. “You would want that?” You ask seriously. “You’ve- you’re a confirmed bachelor, that’s what everyone says.” You had heard the whispers about Javier being home when you were out shopping. “‘Javi will never settle down.’” You quote. “You really want me living with you and holding you back from chasing whatever skirt catches your eye?”

Javier scoffs, turning away from you to look at the kitchen. “I’m tired of it. I don’t want to wake up in another bed I need to sneak out of. I’m sick of not having someone to be my best friend, to share a life with. I’m old. I’m too old to be out there fucking anything with a pulse and I don’t want to. I want you. I want a life with you. I always have. I won’t beg you. If you don’t want that…want me…I get it.” He shrugs, glad he’s turned away from you to hide his hurt expression.

“Why don’t we…..” you reach out and touch his shoulder. “Date?” You suggest. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been in each other’s lives. What if we’re different from what we remember? What if I’m not the idealized version of me that you have fantasized about being with?” It hurts to admit that, but being rejected again would kill you. “So while we’re here together, we get to know each other now and we can figure out if we would want it permanently.”

Javier turns to look at you. His eyes are burning into yours and he doesn’t see any malice, you’re not messing with him. You’re being honest and he can’t ask for more. He nods, “we can do that.” He promises, “I want to try.”

“I- I want to try that too.” You admit softly, eyes cutting away from his in embarrassment and you look around the little ranch house. “This is gorgeous.” It’s got some basic furniture in it, so Javi shouldn’t have to get much to make it a home. “Are you going to move in today?”

“I’m thinking I might do some work on it. Move in tomorrow.” He says, glancing around at the things that need to be updated. “I wouldn’t mind your help. I was serious about that. I’m hopeless at decorating a home. I need help.”

“I doubt that.” You scoff, Javier has always had good taste in everything. “But I’ll help. What do you want to do?”

“Probably going to change the sofa. This thing has been here forever and I have an idea of what’s happened on it.” Javier wrinkles his nose, “Jose used to brag about his conquests.”

You snort and send him a smirk. “So you’ve never fucked on a sofa?” You ask. “Stuck to the bed and piles of hay in a barn?” You tease. “Obviously no shower sex, either. You were shocked to see me in the shower the other day.”

“I’ve fucked on a sofa. In the shower. In the car. Pretty much every surface but hay in the barn was a first with you.” He admits. “I was shocked because - because I didn’t expect to see you there and I - Jesus, it’s all I could think about after. What would’ve happened if I had stepped in there and fucked you against the tiles.”

You’re surprised by his admission and your cunt clenches in reaction. “I probably would have slapped you at the time.” You admit, smirking at the idea of slapping him and then fucking him. “But I would have let you fuck me after. I’m weak like that.”

Javier chuckles, “probably wouldn’t have minded the slap. Made me fucking hard as steel when you did it last night.” He admits, shifting to lean against the kitchen counter.

“Really?” Your brow ticks up in surprise and you smirk at the little secret he’s just revealed. “Javier Peña likes his sex a little rough. Interesting.” You tease. “Slapping is on the table, you obviously like to bite, how do you feel about handcuffs?”

“Depends on who’s wearing them. I ain’t against getting handcuffed to the headboard so you can ride my face.” He admits, “or I could handcuff you and make you scream my name after I suck on your clit all night long.”

It’s so casual, the way he throws out sexual escapades. You shiver slightly and snort. “No man wants to just eat a woman out all night.” You tell him. “Maybe getting their dick sucked, but not using their own mouth.”

“One man.” He says and points to himself. “Always love seeing a woman cum on my tongue. Didn’t get to do that to you last night.” He hums, “and I’m sure that’s not something you’re interested in with me.” He teases, crossing his arms.

You huff and roll your eyes. “You were too busy dreaming of shoving your cock inside me.” You remind him, even though you had been pretty desperate for the same thing. “I don’t know, it would mean using the couch or the bed that’s seen so much action. Since I doubt you’d want your dad to hear.”

Javier chuckles and pushes off of the kitchen counter, stepping towards you. "Hermosa...that couch has seen some action. I'm sure it wouldn't mind a little more before it gets taken to the dump. You wanna sit on my face for Christmas?" He asks, "or we can go back to the house and act like this never happened?"

“Face sitting for Christmas?” You giggle at the idea and bite your lip. “Nothing to hang onto, but I could lay down and you could do what you wanted. Learning the oral skills of your partner is an important part of dating, isn’t it?”

Javier smirks and nods, “exactly. Important to establish early on. Now…strip for me, hermosa. I want to see all of you.” He orders and rubs his lower lip with his thumb, his cock pressing against the zipper of his jeans.

You tut, but you don’t argue with him. He didn’t get to see you last night and in some small way, you want to show him what he’s been missing. Keeping your eyes on his, you reach for the hem of your light sweater and pull it over your head to toss it aside. “You know you’re handsome.” You grumble. “Cocky asshole. Always aware of how many women want to fuck you.”

He snorts and pulls his shirt over his head. “There’s only one woman I want to fuck me right now.” He promises, “might be the last one I fuck.” He declares and watches you, his dark eyes taking in the sight of your tits unhindered by a dress. “Jesus, baby. You’re gorgeous.” He murmurs when you push your leggings down after kicking off your shoes.

“And you’re a kiss ass.” You tease, even though his words make you preen. 

“I’ll kiss your ass.” Javi smirks and you turn around to bend over while you pull your panties down.

He groans softly and wraps his fingers around his cock. “Baby. Go kneel on the sofa.” He orders, wanting to taste you. He’s aching but he desperately wants to make you cum on his tongue.

You sway your hips enticingly as you walk over to the sofa. Kneeling down and bending over the armrest. You look over your shoulder and smirk at Javi. “What are you waiting for?”

He practically growls as he rushes over to the sofa, kneeling on the floor and he nudges your knees apart until he can push his tongue deep into your pussy. Sliding against your clit immediately so he can taste you and God, he fucking loves the tang of your arousal.

“Jav!” Your cry is nearly cut off, strangled by the groan you give. He’s eager and that eagerness translates into a quick tongue and demanding jaw. Working into you and over your clit with a ferocity you haven’t experienced. “Oh God, fuck, Javi.” You whine, grinding back against his tongue.

He groans into you, loving the way you take what you need. His fingers grab your ass, working you open even more and his tongue slides up to push against your puckered hole.

Gasping, your hips rock forward. "Javi!" You squeal, unused to anyone ever sticking anything near that area. "Don't- just my pussy." You warble out.

He doesn’t push you, sliding his tongue down to push it into you with a groan, your arousal hitting his taste buds and he groans your name into your flesh. His hands massage your ass and he’s aching to push inside of you but doesn’t.

You shudder and moan. "I'm sorry-" you gasp out. "No one- I've never-" You know you can't compare with some of the women you know he must have been with. You don't have the experience. You aren't a virgin, but you didn't bed hop as often as you had insinuated. "Oh God."

Javier pulls back, his hands caressing your hips. “Hey. It’s okay. I pushed you and you have limits. I want you to tell me if you don’t like something or aren’t sure. Trust me baby, I want you to enjoy this.”

"I just never have done that." You admit breathlessly. "I don't want you to think I'm a stuck up prude. I just -" You shrug, embarrassed, "was shocked."

“It’s okay.” He promises and leans forward to kiss along your hip and your ass cheek. “It’s okay baby. I want you to enjoy this and I don’t care if you haven’t done anything there. Your pussy is sweet enough for me.” He promises, giving you a moment in case you want him to stop.

You remind yourself that you aren't telling him no, you're telling him not right now. It can be something you talk about when you aren't naked. "Are you going to make me cum?" You ask saucily. "Or was that all talk?"

Javier chuckles, “I am a man of action, hermosa.” He promises and leans in to bite your ass cheek. He kisses the skin until he ducks down to slide his tongue through your folds again. A groan vibrates through you from him and he squeezes your hips as he resumes sucking on your clit.

You moan softly, eyes slipping closed as Javi feasts on your cunt. That's all you can think of, the man behind you feasting as he groans and grunts into your cunt. He sounds like he's enjoying it and you love how wanton it makes you. "So good." You whimper. "Thought your mustache was stupid until right now."

He chuckles into your pussy, wanting to tell you how it’s not stupid but he’s more occupied with making you cum. He sucks on your clit, determined to make you cum on just tongue. He hisses as you reach back to tangle your fingers in his hair and he goes harder, pushing his tongue into you and pressing his nose to your clit.

You don't know how long he has his lips wrapped around your clit and you don't care. Every second is amazing and makes your cunt clench around nothing. If you could just have his cock buried inside you, it would be a dream. "I'm gonna cum." You warn him, stomach knotted in pleasure and his groans vibrating against the bundle of nerves. He sucks harshly and you squeal his name, body spasming in pleasure as you come apart.

He loves hearing you cum. Jesus, his cock is leaking into the fabric of the sofa, and he groans your name, muffled by your folds as he works you through your orgasm.

Javier seems to know exactly when to pull away from you. Slurping up every drop of your pleasure until your limbs are heavy and you are melting into the cushions. "Fuck," you pant. "I - fuck me, baby." You beg breathlessly. "I need to feel you inside me."

He can’t deny you or himself. He shifts to kneel on the sofa behind you, pumping himself a couple of times until he’s notching himself at your entrance and pushing into you with a groan. “Fuck.” He pants, “so goddamn tight.” He murmurs, knowing he’s never felt like this before. It’s like coming home.

You purposefully squeeze your walls together to make him groan, giggling when he slaps your ass. "Kegels." You tell him breathlessly. "Keeps everything nice and tight."

“Goddamn.” He mutters and starts to move inside of you. Rocking slow to pull out until he’s surging forward to rock into you hard. “Want you to scream my name. No one can hear you this far out.” He reminds you, “wanna hear you cry out.”

The house is farther away from the barn, making you nod and release your lip from your teeth. You had been biting down when he started moving, trying to stifle the sounds. He feels so much bigger from this position. "Oh fuck, Jav- I, fuck!"

“That’s it. Scream for me, hermosa.” He grunts, loving the way you let go and rock back onto him. His fingers dig into your hips and he shifts to cover your back with his chest, his lips finding your neck as he cups your tits. Squeezing them, he bites down on your shoulder.

"Fuck Javi-" You love how he is using his teeth, marking you. "Harder." You whine, not sure if you mean the thrusts, the teeth or them both. "Fuck me. Use me."

He grunts, pushing into you harder. He bites down on your shoulder again and soothes it with his tongue. “So fucking good. Pussy feels like a vice.” He grunts against your skin, “so good.”

"God, sooooo good." You moan, eyes rolling back and your arms shaking under you. "No wonder she didn't want to let you go." You don't want to start a fight, not while he's buried inside you, but you can see why Lorraine didn't want Javi moving on. "Oh fuck, baby."

“Gotten better since then with practice.” He confesses, “and you’re the last one to benefit if you want.” He adds, “you’ll be the pussy I live and die with.” He promises, “if you want me. I’m yours.” He vows and kisses along your neck.

You shiver because of his words and his lips trailing over your skin. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Peña." You moan, turning your head to look over your shoulder at him. "No promises while you're balls deep."

He hums, “fine.” He doesn’t argue, but he’s disappointed you never say that’s what you want. He pushes deep again, hunched over you, and the springs of the sofa struggle as he fucks you.

You can tell he's disappointed in your reaction to his comment but you can't make decisions like that when he's touching you. You're already so vulnerable. His next thrust has you crying out his name, nails digging into the fabric of the sofa under you.

“That’s it, hermosa.” He grunts when your walls clench around him. “That’s it, baby. Need you to cum again for me.” He demands, rocking into you over and over, jaw clenched with concentration.

"I will, oh fuck baby, you-" Your moan is low, long as he presses deep and hits something wonderful inside you. "Right there." You gasp. "Right fucking there!"

He groans, rocking into you over and over again, focusing on that same spot. “That’s it baby. That’s it. Cum for me.” He pleads, his voice raspy.

It only takes a few thrusts before your entire body is lurching forward. Back arching as you practically scream his name. Cunt clamping down around him and soaking him in waves of your juices until you are gasping for air.

He lets out a strangled groan as you clamp down on him. “I- fuck- that’s it baby girl. That’s it.” He grunts, “in-inside or no?” He asks, needing to know as he gets closer and closer to his orgasm.

"I'm on the pill." You moan out, eyes closing as you imagine him filling you up. The heat and warmth of his cum coating your insides. "Wherever you want."

He groans at the news he can fill you up. “Fuck baby. I- shit. I’m gonna cum. Gonna fill you up.” He moans and rocks into you a few more times before he chokes, biting down on your shoulder as he throbs inside of you, painting your walls.

It's exactly what you imagined. Hot and thick inside you. Making you whimper as the sharpness of his teeth bruises your shoulder and your cunt spasms because of his sexy groans. "So good."

Javier, groans and kisses the marks he left on your skin. “That was so fucking good, hermosa.” He nudges his nose against your neck as he pulls out of you, uncaring of his cum dripping onto the sofa he’s planning to get rid of.

You hum in agreement, smiling softly when you turn around and sit down. "It was. You have a gift, Peña." You tease. "Now I want a nap." You admit. "I didn't sleep very well last night."

“You wanna nap here or you wanna go somewhere else?” He asks, caressing your back, and he kisses your shoulder. “Or you wanna go back to the house?”

You hum and bite your lip. "There's a bed in the bedroom right?" You ask softly. "I think I would like to take a nap with you." You admit with a smile. "I doubt mom and Chucho will come out here looking for us. They are hoping we start getting along."

Javier smirks and shifts off of the bed and he reaches for you, “come on baby. Let’s go to bed.” He reaches for your hand and he guides you to the bedroom to lay down. “I’ll clean you up.” He promises and guides you to the bedroom before heading into the bathroom to clean you up.

Once you are cleaned up and snuggled against him, you sigh softly. "I've missed you, Javi." You admit, laying against his chest and listening to his heart beat. "I've missed you so much."

He kisses you softly, curling around you. “Merry Christmas baby.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck and he caresses your side as he closes his eyes.

*** 

It’s been a week,  now New Year’s Eve and even though you’ve spent nearly every moment you can in Javier Peña’s bed, you still haven’t had the most important conversation. Too busy getting fucked in every way possible between helping him decorate his new home. Oftentimes sneaking out of the house and over to his after your mother has gone to bed. You never sleep through the night, but you find yourself wanting to. “You look so tired.” Your mom tuts. “Your vacation was supposed to be relaxing.” 

You smother a yawn and smile. “I know. I will go to bed early tonight.”

Javier smirks from across the table, “you gotta get your sleep.” He tells you with a smirk, “what’s been keeping you up at night?” He asks with genuine looking concern that makes your mom shake her head, “are you worried about something, honey?”

"I've been thinking about my future." You admit quietly, not looking over at Javier. It doesn't help that you are sneaking in and out of his bed every night either, but the real thing keeping you up has been deciding what you will do. You know Javi has wanted to talk about it, but you've brushed him off so far.

Javier tilts his head, curiosity getting the better of him when he leans forward and says “and what have you been considering?” Chucho looks between you and his son, having picked up what’s going on, even if your mom is still trying to catch up.

You bite your lip, still nervous about what might be. "I don't know." You murmur quietly. "A lot. It's hard to explain."

Javier nods, not willing to push you anymore. These past ten days have been the best and he isn’t going to force you to be with him. He wants you to want him. To spend your life with him. You have your decision to make and he won’t force you but you’re leaving tomorrow and he is anxious about losing you forever if you go.

You look away from him quickly, unwilling to let your mother see the looks that pass between you but Chucho is watching you carefully. "So we are having the party tonight?" You confirm. "What do we need to do?"

“We are having the food catered. Javier just needs to go collect the drinks and we have some decorations to put out.” Your mom tells you and Javier nods, “I’ll go in a bit to get the drinks.” He tells your mom.

You nod. “That’s good. At least you won’t be pushing yourself to spend all day in the kitchen cooking.” You agree. “I’ll go with Javier, get anything else we need.”

Javier is pleased to hear you want to come with him and you’re soon in his truck heading to the store. He doesn’t say much after he starts the engine and the radio plays as he reaches for your hand.

Your fingers thread through his easily and you imagine yourself doing this every time you go to town together. Holding his hand and sitting in the soft silence with the radio playing. "So have you heard from the DEA?" You know he's temporarily on leave, but that could change, or he could be let go completely. It all depends on how angry they are at him.

He sighs, looking up at the traffic light. “I told you, I’m retired. They have to give me leave before I have my final briefing but I’m hoping they allow me to go without any issues.” He admits, “I ain’t going back. I am here now. To stay.”

Somehow, you don’t believe him, but you nod. “So you want to work the ranch with Chucho? That’s your end goal? Or do you have other plans in mind?”

Javier shrugs one shoulder. “That’s the plan. It all comes down to someone deciding they want to share a life with me and I ain’t gonna force her. I want more than a lonely life chasing down cartels that just get replaced by another.”

You squirm slightly in your seat and wonder if he knows how much pressure that is putting on you. “And what would happen if …..things don’t work out?” You ask softly.

Javier knows he can’t push you or force you into being with him. “If things don’t work out then I’ll be here, working with my Pa and I’ll eventually take over the ranch. I’m tired, baby. I want a simple life and if that’s a life alone, then at least it’s peaceful.” He says, having accepted that you might not want him for more than sex.

He sounds so tired and that hurts you. Squeezing his hand gently, you sigh. “I don’t know what I want.” You admit quietly. “I’m scared. Of being hurt again, I guess. I didn’t date for a long fucking time after leaving and never anything serious.”

He nods, “it’s okay. I don’t - I don’t want to pressure you or force you. I don’t want you to make a decision and make the decision you think I want you to make. I’m scared too. I don’t - I haven’t done this properly. A relationship.” He confesses, “at least not one where I’ve felt like this.”

"What do you feel like?" For all the conversations you've had, which aren't many, you've never really gone beyond 'I love you'. It's important to know why and how he loves you.

“I feel like - it’s comfortable. We can sit and say nothing at all and I don’t feel the need to fill the space with talking. We can just…be.” He says and squeezes your hand. “You’re my best friend. The best sex I’ve ever had, and the woman that I can see having a family with. I love you.”

You bite your lip and look down at your hands. “Tonight.” You promise. “I’ll give you an answer tonight. At midnight.” You still don’t know what you will say but he deserves to know that soon a decision will be made.

He nods, Not wanting you to make a decision and regretting it. “No rush baby. I’ll be here. No matter what.” He promises, “you’ll always be my best friend.”

He told you his theory. That Lorraine had seen you at the bar that night. She apparently knew that Javi was in love with you and that was why they had broken up the first time. It’s plausible, but you still aren’t sure. Javi isn’t a liar, at least he wasn’t, but you don’t know if you don’t trust him or yourself anymore. “Thank you.” You murmur sincerely. “Let’s get the food and alcohol so we can get back and help set up.”

**** 

Javier adjusts his shirt collar, feeling a little heated. Family and friends are gathered in the house and his cousins have the fireworks ready to go for the countdown. He is nervous about what you are going to decide. The rest of his life hangs in the balance and he’s trying to give you some space to make your decision. He sips his whiskey, watching his dad and your mom mingle and you’re across the room making sure his second and third cousins are having a good time and keeping out of the booze. “Countdown in two minutes.” Chucho announces after ten minutes of mingling and gathers the family outside for the fireworks to be set off. Everyone starts moving outside and Javier is looking around, trying to find you in the crowd.

You had slipped off to your room, wanting to make sure that you have your necklace on. It would be a symbolic gesture since you hadn't been wearing it when the party started. Butterflies filling your stomach and making you nearly nauseous. Checking your reflection one more time before slipping out of your bedroom and down the hall to go outside with everyone else. On the porch, you see Javi, craning his neck to look for you and you swallow, knowing that this step will change everything.

Javier almost senses you, turning his head to see you and the smile on his face is boyish. “Hey hermosa.” He murmurs, reaching for your hand to press a kiss to the back of it. His eyes focus on your necklace and his heart thumps a beat but he doesn’t want to assume anything. Not yet. “One minute everyone.” Chucho declares as Danny and some of the other guys get ready for the fireworks to be lit.

“Javi-“ Taking his hand, you turn towards him, swallowing nervously. “I didn’t expect to see you when I agreed to come for Christmas.” You begin. “I didn’t know if I wanted to see you ever again.” It’s hard to admit that, but he knows it’s true. “I had been in love with you for nearly our entire lives and it seemed like you had broken my heart.”

Javier swallows harshly, his heart pounding as your families and friends gather and the radio is loud to announce the countdown. “I did, not on purpose, and I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, getting more and more nervous with each second that passes to the new year.

“I know.” You nod. “But I was so angry, so hurt.” You go on. “Telling myself, you and everyone who would listen, that I couldn’t stand you. That I hated you.” You regret that, especially now that you truly do believe that he hadn’t seen you that night. “You’re here and you want to be with me. It’s probably my younger self’s dream come true.” Everyone around you starts to count down from ten as it gets closer to midnight. You can see that he’s nervous, glancing around and then back at you, but no one else is paying attention. “I have one more question to ask you.” 

Javi frowns. “Anything, hermosa.” 

You grin as everyone hits ‘two’ on the countdown. “Will you marry me, Javier Peña?”

His eyes widen and he doesn’t even take a second to think as he replies, “fuck yes” and surges forward to kiss you, cupping your cheeks, and the fireworks start to go off as the new year arrives. Javier kisses you for a long moment before he leans back to press his forehead against yours. “Happy New Year, baby.” He murmurs, a grin on his face as he looks at his future wife. This holiday season was complicated and rough but Javier is going into the new year looking forward to a bright future with you, the love of his life and soon to be his wife.

[broadwaybalogna]

Zutara prompt: While fishing, Zuko accidentally admits to Sokka that he like Katara.

STOP IT THIS IS SO CUTE OMG

-

Sokka didn’t exactly know how to bond with Zuko when they weren’t committing crimes or saving the world, so they went on an abundance of “bro trips” to find new hobbies for the two of them. There was golfing, swimming, and cooking, but they ultimately landed on fishing. The activity was a nice change of pace for their busy days, and it allowed them to catch up with each other without having to worry about anything else.

The sun was just beginning to set when Zuko and Sokka finally got their stuff outside and ready to set up. It had been a long day for both of them, but they tried to maintain their weekly bro hangouts as much as possible.

“So, how was your week?” Sokka asked once they had fully set up.

“Ugh, the usual. Making laws, opening borders, selling my soul. How about you? How’s Suki?”

“Suki’s doing great. I soar her every now and again-“

“And lose.”

“And allow her to take advantage of weak spots I didn’t know I had.” Sokka huffed. Zuko laughed. “And you? Any new girls in your life?” Sokka asked as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Ah, no. Just the usual, haha.” He sputtered.

Sokka liked to think he and Zuko shared everything with one another, so when he sensed that Zuko was hiding something, he immediately pounced.

“Reaaaally….” He imposed, making the word long as he got up in Zuko’s face. “C’mon, you can trust me bro. Bro to bro, what’s my bro been up to?”

“That’s too many bros.”

“My bad bro.”

“And I’m not seeing anyone.”

“You so are.”

“Am not.”

“Are to.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re beat red! You very clearly are!”

“It’s not because of- Agni help me.” Zuko sighed, exasperated.

“Just tell me who she is!”

“I’m not seeing any girls. I wouldn’t be allowed to see her anyway.”

“So you DO have your eyes on someone! And why wouldn’t you be able to see her?”

“Why do you ask so many questions.”

“I’m a top tier wingman, I don’t know what else to say.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Look, her family is- er.. strict?”

“Is that a statement or a question?”

Zuko gave Sokka a look that very clearly said that he wasn’t playing any games. Sokka raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Damn, you have some serious feeling for this girl, huh?”

“I suppose.” Zuko looked down at his lap, then out into the distance. There was this look in his eyes that Sokka saw and he knew Zuko saw her in the sunset before them.

“I’m sure that if her family see how much you care, they’ll come around.”

“I’m also afraid it’ll strain a relationship I have with one of my best friends.” Zuko finally said after a few moments.

Sokka thought for a moment. “Well, I’ll always be here to pick up the slack from whatever friend you’re talking about! Bros gotta stick out for each other all the time!”

Then Zuko looked over at him. And there was this look in his eyes that confused Sokka for a moment before the realization finally settled in.

“Do you?- my- Kat—? HER!?”

Zuko looked over to his fishing rod, nothing had been caught yet.

“How long, Zuko?”

“How long what?”

“Have you liked her!?”

Zuko flinched at the sudden loudness of Sokka. He couldn’t tell if his friend was angry, upset, confused, surprised, or a horrifying mix of it all.

“I don’t know. Maybe a couple years?”

“Years!?”

Zuko sighed, “Yeah.”

“Fucking FINALLY.”

“What?”

“I said ‘finally’, dipshit.”

“Yeah, I heard that. Why?”

“Because I’ve been so sick and tired of hearing her ramble on about you and how hot you are and blah blah blah!”

Zuko was in pure awe, “Seriously?”

“‘SeRiOuSlY’ my ass! You’re saying I could’ve avoided this for YEARS!?”

“Sokka, are you being serious?” Zuko had gotten closer to Sokka and grabbed him by his shirt.

“Of course I am! I wouldn’t be this annoying if I wasn’t.” Zuko softly let go of the taller man and sat down in his chair beside his fishing rod.

“Holy shit.”

“You better tell her as soon as possible because I don’t know how much longer I can listen to her ramble on and on-“

“I thought you would hate me.”

“What?” Sokka was finally taken out of his annoying persona and thrown back into reality. “Why would I hate you?”

“C’mon Sokka, I like your sister. Most people would be at my throat if I said I liked their family member.”

“Yeah, sure, but— you’re my best friend. If anyone should date my sis, it should be you. There have been plenty of guys who have had a crush on Katara and believe me, not many of them have been all that good. So to know she has someone who I know is amazing for her. That makes everything a lot easier. Of course I’m glad you like her. I’m just upset you would think anything would make me hate you!”

Zuko laughed and Sokka continues to babble on. Zuko finally caught a fish and Sokka begged him to cook it for the two of them.

“Promise me you won’t hate me if I tell your sister my feelings and we start going out.” Zuko finally said after they finished eating.

Sokka thought for a short moment before responding. “Promise. Pinky swear.” He held out his pinky finger and wiggled it, urging Zuko to lock in own pinky with his. Zuko grumbled but ultimately folded.

“Thanks.”

“Of course, bud.”

[crenmir]

honestly ı am glad sarcastic chorus quit cuz his analyze videos about hb was more complaining on how the New ep oh Helluva didnt go into the direction he wanted rather then actually critisizing the show in his latest videos . it was obvious he didnt enjoy watching season 2 .and he does over analyze things a lot..this show is is comedy mixed drama kind of thing well ıts not really comedy anymore but it still has silly moments..funny gags

and yeah ı agree that hb sometimes has a shtty pacing it makes me so frustrated too (especially S2Episode4) ,though ıts an indie animation and sadly they cant just release the whole season in a week or smth like that like how some shows does.

And in prev episodes we had to wait for like 3 months or more until the next One come in SOMETIMES TWO OR MORE MONTHS ONLY FOR A GIF(full moon episode lmao) 😭 so it makes sense Why the writing is flawed in some ways ..cuz they have to keep the tension so the fans wont get bored waiting the next episode for months ( ı know it relases monthly now but it wasnt like this before).

I actually think that Helluvaboss was never really suited taking a whole season slow character arcs and relationships yeah ı also love shows with more then 4 seasons and at least have 30 minutes episodes or more though ıts not really possible to do that with indie animation ..Helluva only has 4 seasons and SO MUCH to tell in its story YES hb again has flawed writing but ı am just tired Twitter talks about it like ıts the WORST writing in a show .

tbh ı used to not really like Helluva Boss..before season 2 djdjssj.. OKAY OKAY ı'll be honest Lol ı actually couldnt stand watching clips of season 1 whenever ı saw it on YouTube or on other socials well the jokes in season1 didnt make me laugh it was annoying for me ı thought hb was just another shtty show like family guy where the jokes are so gross and cringe .. ( ı still dont really like sum of the seggs jokes in the show but dont really agree that hb is only HAHA CRİNGE UNFUNNY SEGGS jokes !)

ALSO I WILL SAY HB MADE IT OBVIOUS in Loo loo Land that .this show DOES TAKE IT'S CHARACTERS SERIOUSLY ..AND they are human..NOT ONLY THERE FOR MAKING THE AUDINCE CRINGE AND LAUGH FOR HOW FCKED THOSE MESSY DEMONS ARE..

ı actually .hated the stolitz ship before (lol) ..ı started to fall in love with the show and it's main ship when they decided to explore the characters and give them more depth ..especially stolitz.. djsjsjs

I AM SO GLAD they didnt kept pilot stolas .THANK GOD .not another damn toxic af yaoi turning soft and loving ı think that it wouldnt be realistic or enjoyable at all (yeah it would be fun to watch evil pilot stolas ..but later on his character would be ruined and feel so forced when he "falls in love" with blitzø and helluva boss would be this cliche toxic af yaoi shit , AGAIN stolitz was never toxic in current helluvaboss not pilot well their relationship was just unhealthy and all )

Again IF stolas was this heartless evil gay augar daddy to blitz and he somehow started to "fall in love " with blitz and become a good character ..it would be like Jinx or..like other basic toxic yaoi bs where the seme is rich af and he sexually ass*alts the uke where He is only there for seggs and he somehow catches feelings for the uke later on the episodes and oh he is nice now aww look at them they are cute and love eachother now!!..(ew)

So ı dont agree on "it would have been better if they kept stolas the evil mastermind who is this heartless cheater to his wife and an Abuser to blitzø also has some sick obsession with him and sees him nothing more then a seggs toy for his sick twisted fantasies and he somehow starts fall in love with blitz later on the show ..ı think it would have feel so forced and out of character for pilot stolas .

ALSO..some people are forgetting hb was actually going to be a sitcom kind of thing where blitz is this horrible selfish main character who Does messy fcked up shit and has no character depth at all he is One of hell of a Boss(lol) ! he would have been just HAHA FCKED UP HORRIBLE DEMON DOES MESSY SHIT! so ı am so glad viv didnt stick to the pilot for the show's original idea , cuz if she did hb's only purpose would have been to be cringe af and has actually unfunny overly seggs jokes well..gross "dark fcked up humor" like family guy or south park..

well ı do respect sarcastic chorus's opinion on quitting rewieiving the show ..ı mean again like it was so obvious he didnt enjoy season 2 at all.. ı mean ı always watched this show only for stolitz lol.

honestly ı disagree on stolitz is "softened" for making them more likeable..ı think stolas and blitz are really complex characters and so human ALSO just because stolas is being abused by stella doesnt mean viv decided to write that to make stolas seem all nice and not flawed at all "and he is innocent" thats not true .

if you looked on old insta posts( where the spindle crew used to roleplay as some hb characters) you would see that stella was always meant to be abusive to him ( where stolas takes a photo with pilot stella and it obvious he is bothered by her holding his hand on the table you can also see he put a sad emoji on the post SO NO viv never changed how STELLA was abusive to him in the show ..her character was always like how it is in hb now .

and yeah ı honestly agree on them not really exploring stella's backstory but like not every bad person in shows needs a sad sob backstory to make them a villian though yeah ıts kinda annoying stella didnt even speak to Octavia or tried to manuplate her into making her hate stolas in the Last episode and well she just laughed with Andy .

though if ı recall correctly we will see her backstory in season3?..ı really dunno ,ı really hope they show more flashbacks of stolas's teen-young adult years and well how STELLA was always abusive towards him before even he "cheated on her")

( ı know hb showed us that she was always abusive even before stolas "cheated" on her .. ı mean in S1 episode 1 where she shittalks behind how stolas sucked in bed and she SA'd him but ı just want to see her abusive Side much more then just her laughing at stolas's face yannow?)

Also it is shown in S1E1 that she tried to hit him and he blocked her hand this means she did phsically abuse him before cuz she was in shook when stolas blocked her hand ..so NO... she isnt this misunderstood character who is angry at her husband cuz he cheated on her .

The reason Why she was pissed to stolas on him "cheating " on her was because he cheated on her with a low ranked demon .. an imp .

Again ı wish and WANT Helluva Boss to show more abusive side of stella if they ever show flashbacks of her marriage with stolas when they were young adults .

Also ı want hb to show her manuplative relationship with Octavia MORE (well we do know stella doesn't really care about her and uses her as a tool for andrealphus's plans as it was shown in mastermind episode where stella smirks while hugging to her crying daughter..or not Letting her speak to stolas in sinsmas ep and was happy to seperate her from stolas )

but ..ı want to know more of their dynamic ..like Why Does Octavia cares for her if they are not so close. Does she thinks she has to love her because stella is her mom ?

Well in octavia's drawings when she was a kid shows us that she was more close with her dad since she never included drawing stella on them.also having similar hobbies and interests with stolas..( where they both like stars ..plants..well drawing. Singing to cope with their emotions ..)

..but again ı REALLY want to know Why she said.."you don't love mother" to stolas .Does she even know her parents didnt marry with love and it was actually an arranged marriage Does she thinks her dad ruined everyhting when he cheated on her mom ???

I want to know that

AND WELL ı think stolas didnt even cheat on stella , just like he said "cheating implies a betrayal". these two people were forced into marrying eachother for making an heir together. They NEVER loved eachother . so he CANT betray something that was never there in the first place (love) also him sleeping with blitz was the only "selfish" choice he made in his life..

AND YES stolas and STELLA are both victims to this fcked up goetia system.. BUT that doesnt excuse stella taking her anger out on stolas and abusing him.

[aclowntiny]

Hello 👋

Can I pls request seventeen reaction when they have a crush on female reader they haven't confessed yet and gets jealous when we hang out with our guy best friend more than them?

Thank you ❤️

Sure! As a girl with guy friends this is an interesting request for sure hehe 😁 sorry some are simpler than others, I just believe not all of them would be very jealous 😅 & that sometimes situations get misread so I mixed it up a few times! warning: long post ahead!!! hehe

Seventeen's Reaction to Their Crush's Guy Best Friend (F!Reader)

S.Coups

You were the cutest thing Seungcheol had ever seen. The way your lips pressed together when you thought, how wide you smiled when you got a pleasant shock…the way you’d given that same smile when he’d offered you his arm half-jokingly, half-seriously and you’d taken it, walking right alongside him like that.

So who was that guy making you smile and laugh? Why were you always dropping someone else’s name? Was he that dense or was this guy really just a good friend? Seungcheol wanted to be that name. He wanted to have you by his side, have plans with you as often as your self-described “movie buddy” you caught nearly every new flick with. He could feel his brow creasing whenever his eyes fell upon the guy, mostly out of confusion, but a touch out of something else, even though he knew he didn’t have the right.

He just wanted it, wanted it so bad it was practically motivation throughout the day. As if every task, every workout, was saving up more strength to finally have that conversation with you.

It came more quickly than he cared to admit, his feet carrying him right to you of their own accord. You were wearing his favorite color on you, and the smile you gave him when you turned around only spurred him on. He had to know. Had to make you his if there was any chance in the world. If not, that ‘buddy’ of yours had better treat you like a queen.

“Hi, Seungcheol!” You gave him a little wave and he thought his heart might burst. “What’s up?”

“Have you seen that new mystery that just came out?”

“Not yet,” you shook your head, “but hopefully soon, I’d really like to!”

“Oh, you haven’t made plans with your boyfriend for it yet?”

Your gape, the near-horror that crossed your eyes, was priceless in more ways than one. “That is not my boyfriend, that’s just my bestie! He’s my mom’s best friend’s son, and he’s so not my type!”

Passion took hold of Seungcheol, a wave of adrenaline like he could barely describe. “I see! I wanted to respect your relationship to him above anything, but if that’s the case… Can I ask you out to go see it?”

“Of course!” You grin. “I keep telling him to get a girlfriend to take to all these movies anyway! I only like you.”

It took everything in Seungcheol not to kiss you right then and there.

Jeonghan

“Well, what am I supposed to think?”

“She said they were just friends!”

“She also sits really close to him.”

Jeonghan was sick and tired of that same old argument. Sick and tired of wondering who that guy you took everywhere with them was, even if he was really nice. The others tried their hands at blind reassurance, but Jeonghan was the type to get information himself, and the way you two had sat so close, chairs pushed nearly as much as possible together and legs brushing, was the final straw.

One conversation and he would know. Would leave you alone and smile through the knowledge that he was too late, come to accept it in time. All he had to do was play his cards just right, and if there was one thing he was good at it was that.

You were happy that night. Having a great time out with Seventeen, laughing at Soonyoung’s antics after he’d had one too many, stealing lots of glances Jeonghan’s way that had his heart leaping and easy smile manifesting. Your ‘best friend’ couldn’t make it, so it was the perfect time to work his hook into the conversation.

“Did you see those little flower stands on the corner?”

“Yeah,” you nod, an eager yet wistful look crossing your lovely features, “the bouquets are so pretty! It’s because Valentine’s Day is around the corner.” And there it was- you had taken the bait exactly. “If only…”

The way your chin fell onto your hand, the little drift of your eyes. Dreamy, all of it. It was enough to make Jeonghan want to spoil you. “You don’t think anyone will get you some?”

Your eyes widen a bit; you take a sip of your drink and shake your head. “No, who on earth would? Unless I had a secret admirer,” you joked, voice truly and genuinely incredulous.

That was all Jeonghan felt too, complete shock at your lack of awareness of what a gem you were. Well, that and the soaring rise of satisfaction knowing how surprised you were going to be on the fourteenth.

Joshua

Joshua embodied the old “slow to anger” verse for sure. It took a lot to build resentment in him and he truly saw the best in others whenever he could. So the fact that this guy was bugging him? Had to be his problem. I mean, you met in dance class, of course he’d be dancing with you across the practice room floor, but why’d it seem like showing off when-

“Jealous?” Suddenly Jeonghan had appeared at his side, catlike smile upon his face.

Heat crept to Joshua’s face at the single word, furrowing his brows even as his eyes widened. That was all his vocal unit-mate needed, it seemed.

“I knew it. You like her, don’t you? That’s the only reason you’d care if they were dancing, after all we showed them the moves we were working on.”

“I just-” He sighed, unable to defend himself with lies any longer. “Yeah. I guess I just wish that could be me waltzing with her like that.”

“It can be! Watch!” Jeonghan held up a hand. “(y/n), can Joshua try? He’ll be a natural!”

“Of course!” You lit up. Waving away your dance partner, you stepped up to Joshua. “I can see you being a good waltzer, Mr. Gentleman.”

Rolling his eyes at Jeonghan’s smug look, Joshua nervously, gently, gripped your waist, ready to give you the waltz of your life and dip you like your best friend almost did.

Jun

He was always teasing you and nudging you, but it was ok, right? He drove you around and bought you food sometimes, too, but that was alright… wasn’t it?

It was natural to want to do those things with you, too, as long as he didn’t let any animosity toward the other guy build up. At least that’s what Jun told himself. Some of the members were whispering suspicions about you just not going official yet, and that was like an arrow straight through his heart. Ever since the day you two had gone to that cat café, after all, his heart had been for you and you alone.

You were laughing really hard at something he said. Something about raisins that surely needed context. Part of him wanted to scoot in closer. Another part wanted to just leave and move on to another conversation. He settled for quiet, just watching for a bit. Your eyes darted his way and he smiled. You smiled back. You brought up something funny he'd done, asked if he would recreate it for everyone. For you, he would.

The way you laughed was worth it. Lighting up your eyes reminded Jun what was really important- protecting your precious soul. Your friend laughed, too, played off the joke perfectly. He was a nice guy, he really was. Jun still couldn't help feeling intimidated, though, when he went up to get another drink and your best friend immediately followed. Trying to play it cool, he turned his head, gave your buddy a smile.

"Hi. Do you need something? I can get you a drink, or- or-"

"She'd kill me if she knew I was doing this," he blurted out, eyes staring right into Jun's eyes, "but she likes you, man. I wouldn't normally say anything, but... I don't know, I can just see it with you two. I just don't want her to get hurt, so..."

"I don't either." Jun's eyes widened at the revelation, corners of his mouth threatening to tug upward. "I just want to make her as happy as she makes me."

"Believe me, if all her rants are any indication, you do," your best friend teased Jun, elbowing him.

Hoshi

The moment he heard that you, the object of his feelings, had a guy best friend, it set off an insatiable curiosity. Soonyoung had to meet this guy and meet this guy fast. Because if this guy was your bestie, he probably wasn't your type, right? So if he was anything like Soonyoung himself, ouch. Not that it sounded like the guy was a choreographer or anywhere near the tiger aficionado he was. But just as important: did he treat you right? It sounded like he did. Did he set the bar really high? Model how a real man should act or would Soonyoung have to sweep in and take over for the bas-

"I know this is a little silly of a way to spend your day off, so I really appreciate you joining us, Soonyoung. Sorry we're late!"

Your words interrupted his reverie, cutting the blur of his vision back to dial in on your wonderful smile again. In your hand was the box of lego he'd agreed to build with you and the guy he'd been curious about for so long, someone who was really into building sets, apparently. Soonyoung could dig it. A rare respite from the usual chaos he lived in.

"Don't worry," he comforts you, throwing a hopefully-subtle glance your bestie's way. Well, he certainly didn't look like Soonyoung. Whew. "This is a great way to force me to relax. I'm all yours!"

Of course, being a tiny bit more flirty around the best friend may also draw a distinction...better venture putting an arm around you when you sit down just in case...

"Next time I come to Seoul, I'm hoping my girlfriend can make it, too," you best friend suddenly comments as he splits the baggie labeled with a 1 open, "she just had to be in LA this week. We could..." He pauses, glances between you and Soonyoung with a sly smile. "...maybe do a double date or something?"

Oh, he could just kiss this guy! No, wait, you! Soonyoung feels himself flush and grin widely before he can help it, trying to calm his expression as he glances your way. Can you feel his heartbeat against your side?

Your eyelashes flutter. So cute. "I-I'm game if you are," you tell him shyly.

"I am. I so am."

Wonwoo

"Well, if it isn't Jeon 'Nerves of Steel' Wonwoo."

"Are you insecure or something?" The bespectacled rapper shoots back, sparing Chan a passing glance.

"No, I'm sane! If I liked someone whose best friend was all over her like that, I’d hardly be carrying on like normal.”

“All over her? They’re just walking up arm in arm! We don’t even know the guy yet,” Wonwoo reminds him. After all, this is the first time they’ll be meeting the bestie they’d heard so much about, so it is still unfair to judge him. Even if Wonwoo does wonder what it would feel like to get to walk with you that way…

“Hi guys! We’re here!”

You exclaim the greeting and your best friend grabs your hand, hoisting them up like you’ve just won the Olympics. The others swarm you right away, members you’re also close with and a few of the elders vibe-checking your friend. By the time Wonwoo approaches, Chan following quickly behind him with a skeptical arch of his brow, Seungcheol is already talking to him about music.

“Of course I’ve heard your songs! (y/n)’s car alone would teach me a lot, but I’m a fan anyway! It must be so amazing, all the different people you guys get to work with and other idols you get to meet! Who’s the nicest?”

He does seem really nice. Chan can keep his immaturity to himself, Wonwoo thinks. Who cares if the guy is- still holding your hand? Ok, a bit suspicious, but he had to swallow that, remembering your happiness was the most important thing and smiling for you.

“Oh my gosh! Wooyoung from Ateez? Good to know, he’s pretty much my ideal type!” Your best friend jokes to Seungkwan, who’s quickly hijacked the conversation about other idols. “Isn’t that right, (y/n)?”

“Save it for your poster,” you joke back before turning toward Chan and Wonwoo with a teasing grin, “I keep telling him his next boyfriend should be a lookalike- whoever finds him wins!”

Ok, now Wonwoo is smiling for both of you.

Woozi

Oh, man, if Seungcheol found out, he was dead meat. At least that was Jihoon’s guess. His fellow leader could be very intimidating when he wanted to be, and the protective streak Jihoon admired would surely apply to his best female friend. The very same woman he had fallen for.

You were bright, cheery in a way that energized him instead of exhausting him. Just the type he'd always dreamed of. The day you left one of your silly little figurines in his studio "just to keep him company" was the day he knew he'd fallen hard. Seungcheol always beamed at you with pride, and Jihoon could see why. But did your friend see you as his?

“Here, listen to this!” Seungcheol was in the studio, your figurine and Jihoon both watching as he gently dropped a pair of headphones onto you.

Your eyelids fluttered closed; contentment spread across your face, bringing warmth to Jihoon’s heart as he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Gently you nodded to the rhythm, smile growing as your head bobbed. It was like Seungcheol was gloating, torturing him-

“What do you think?” Hands on either side of your head, your friend freed you from the headphones’ grip and peered into your eyes with a smile Jihoon tried desperately to read. Maybe that was the problem: he was trying both too hard and not hard enough.

“I love it!” You burst out, glancing between the men on either side of you from your chair. “Did you write this, or-”

“No,” he shook his head, “Jihoon did. Sounds like someone beautiful must have inspired him, huh?”

Seungcheol’s head turned as he said those last words, nodded almost imperceptibly. Oh. It was that demo. Was he- Was he giving his blessing? Jihoon felt red blooming beneath his cheeks, barely resisted the urge to frown and wave a hand and turn back around from your gaze. Well, the nod- and Seungcheol’s look of amused surprise- would have to do. Jihoon didn’t feel like having a conversation with him about it, but maybe he’d have one with you soon…

DK

You seemed positively giddy to introduce Seokmin and your best friend, probably because he was like the next best thing. Not that that was the role he wanted. It wasn’t besting the poor…well, bestie, it was simply that you were so cute and he just wanted to hold you and sway you back and forth and kiss your cheeks and…

Seokmin really liked you. The fact that you had a guy best friend, though? Easily meant you just clicked with dudes, had a different approach to dating. It wasn’t something he tried to bring up too much. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

Bliss that couldn’t last forever, though, as you dragged your friend forward and Seokmin got ready to study every interaction you had with him. After all, if you acted the exact same way toward that guy it would be obvious. Crushing, pun intended, but obvious.

The guy playfully rolled his eyes as you yanked him over- not by the hand, though, by the sleeve. Interesting. Introductions went smoothly.

“So, how long have you two known each other again?” Seokmin asked.

“Funny, I was just about to ask the same thing to you!” Your best friend replied with a smile.

Was that a challenge? A threat? Was this a how-well-we-know-(y/n)-off?

Apparently not, for all the guy did was nod and say “Ok, cool!” before you guys all headed into the arcade.

Soon you three were having a shoot-off at the basketball game, and when you took second place, you high-fived both of them. Equal treatment? But earlier you had put your hand on his shoulder, oh and you said he looked cute when you guys were messing with the game props and-

“Hey, Seokmin?” Your friend had gone to the restroom, leaving just the two of you pulling aside from the hoops.

“Yeah?”

“I hope this isn’t a weird time to do this, but, well, I wanted there to be a third person in case things got awkward,” you paused for three, four of his rampant heartbeats, “I just wanted to tell you that I like you.”

His jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

“Why would I lie about something like that?”

“I dunno, I guess I was just worried you saw me the same as your friend there,” he shrugged.

“Please,” you waved your hand, “love that guy, but he doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.”

Seokmin grinned. “And I do?”

“Says the guy who always pulls me away from the road and gave me his scarf the other night!”

“Oh,” Seokmin mused, “I forgot about that. But you know what? Keep it.” And with that, he scooped you into a the warmest hug of your life, all the lights and chatter of the arcade fading out beneath the sensation.

Mingyu

Mungyu was head over frickin heels for you. You, the way you smiled, how hard you laughed at his roast battle with Soonyoung (he won), the cute little way you wrung your hands when you were nervous. He couldn’t help but feel jealous of your male best friend, though- that man must have known your lovely brain even more intimately, known every secret to winning your heart. Maybe he already was winning it, the way you always sat by him and dragged him along on your wonderfully silly antics. The most conflicting part? Your best friend was one of his bandmates.

He’d only met you because you moved near Seventeen’s dorms and Seokmin started bringing you around. It shouldn’t have mattered, but the way you laughed together had his chest tightening, wondering why that couldn’t be him. But would saying something upset Seokmin, cause a rift between the two men? That was the last thing Mingyu wanted. If only his heart would dull its ache, quit beating a mile a minute the moment you fell into his sights.

Something snapped in him one day, though, when you fated three made a convenience store run. You were in a particularly good mood, excitedly grabbing your best friend’s hand and swinging your joined appendages back and forth. All Mingyu wanted was closure, and he was going to get it once and for all.

“So, do you two like each other?” The moment Seokmin rounded the corner to find his favorite snacks, the words burst from the tall rapper’s lips. Mingyu’s composure threatened to falter in the seconds before you answered, ticks that felt like minutes.

You giggled, but the sound wasn’t sheepish, in fact it was…incredulous? Not to mention extremely adorable the way you lit up with mirth. “No way! Seokmin is like a brother to me. In fact, the only reason he started bringing me around Seventeen was thinking he was going to set me up with one of you,” you replied.

“Really?” Mingyu can’t hide his gape at that. “Which one?”

At that, you giggle again. “I don’t think it mattered, really! I think he just wants to make a real sister-in-law out of me. I’d probably have my pick,” you rolled your eyes teasingly.

But then your gaze fell from his almost shyly. And there between aisles of foil snack packages, beneath fluorescent bar lights, came a glittering vision of hope. As if all of Mingyu’s dreams were going to come true.

“Well, if you’re taking applications, sign me up,” he tells you, leaning against a cookie display.

His arm slipped and he almost fell, but you said yes, so nothing was going to wipe the grin off of his face as he took your hand, insisted on carrying your bag on the way back to the dorms.

Seokmin just swung his head back and forth between you two. “What happened while I was gone?”

The8

“You’re not jealous?”

“Why should I be?”

Frankly, it blew some of the other more possessive-leaning Seventeen members’ minds how little it bothered Minghao. You, the girl he claimed to have feelings for, to feel differently toward than anyone else he'd ever met.

"Because that guy is sitting awfully close to her!" Mingyu shot back. "You're not upset? At least feeling like you have competition?"

"A person isn't a prize. It's her choice on who to be with, not mine, and besides, they're best friends. I'm not exactly wishing to be in his place, no," Minghao responds, ending his statement with a smirk.

Mingyu shakes his head at first before breaking into an amused smile and laugh. "All right, you got me there."

Before much else could be said, Minghao heard his name, grinned as he turned around and saw you waving him over. "Come play our silly little game with us!"

"Ok," he chuckled, sending one last smile to Mingyu, who mouthed an overly encouraging 'go get 'em, tiger' that had his nose wrinkling.

In all honesty, it made him happy to be included in moments like that one, old nostalgic games with your best friend. Like him back or not, there was a beauty in seeing Minghao as an important enough part of your life and he wouldn't waste that. As a matter of fact, it only encouraged him to get closer to you and your friends and welcome you more into his life, too.

“After this, you get to pick the next game, ok?”

Minghao just smiled. “Of course. I can teach you mine and my mom’s old favorite.”

Seungkwan

“Oh, remember at your brother’s birthday party when your mom had the limbo contest?”

“Yes, he just bent his legs so weird!”

You and one of your closest friends are sitting reminiscing on all the things you’d done together. The two of you have, for lack of a better term, history, and maybe that’s something that will never get built up the same with-

“Seungkwan?”

Turning his head, Seungkwan responds to his leader’s call with a faint hum, seeing Seungcheol nod toward an empty bedroom and following him in. As soon as he steps through the threshold, he sees the way his elder has his arms crossed and his downturned eyebrows raise.

“Wanna talk about what’s going on out there? And before you ask, yes, I can tell something’s off. It’s (y/n) and her friend, huh?”

Curse his expressiveness. Sometimes Seungkwan feels like he can never keep a secret. Everything is betrayed by his face or the way he acts, but nothing in the world can suppress reflex, pure emotion. At least not all the time.

He sighs. “Yes. I just… I just can’t help feeling like I’ve lost. He knows her like the back of his hand, they have all these memories together… maybe I should just give up.”

“Just because they’ve known each other for longer doesn’t mean anything,” Seungcheol comforts him, stepping forward to rest a firm hand on his shoulder, “in fact, maybe that’s a good sign. If they’ve been friends for years and he’s never made a move, why would he now?”

Seungkwan’s shoulders rise and fall beneath his leader’s warm grip. “Maybe. I guess… I mean, I just worry because she’s spending all that time with him and what am I if not-”

“Seungkwan!”

Your voice cuts into the dark, curling clouds of his reverie, fading around the corner as he stiffens and Seungcheol drops his hand again. Shuffling carefully forward, he tentatively leaves the room to find you standing before him, a smile rising gently to your lips.

“There you are,” you breathe, stepping closer, “I was worried when I saw you leave suddenly. Are you alright?”

His heart flips. He nods. “Yeah, Seungcheol just had a question for me. I’m heading back out, in fact,” he adds, shooting Seventeen’s leader a brief look and receiving a nod in response.

“Good. It’s not the same without you,” you tell him, and this smile elicits more than a flip- this time his heart practically explodes.

“Really?” He asks before he can stop himself.

“Really,” you confirm, heading back out into the room. Luckily you don’t seem to notice the very smug, triumphant glance he shoots your best friend’s way.

Vernon

Vernon isn’t the jealous type. Possessiveness is unnecessary stress, and he feels like if two people truly connect there’s no need.

The problem is he isn’t sure how well you two have connected. Sure you’re friends and sure you guys have hung out, but there’s another guy you’re with all the time- boyfriend? Hard to tell. If so, not officially, not in words. He’s your best friend, your ride or die, so to speak, and Vernon isn’t going to do anything to get in the way of that. Having twelve ride or dies himself, that would be hypocrisy in the highest.

Yet the way his brow furrows seeing you with him, the unpleasant jolt of his heart when you bring up yet another joke just the two of you share, has him wondering if his interest is feckless. It’s not anger, for he had no claim to you, but a strong desire for closure, just one final word to release him from the surreptitious glances at your beauty or jokes made just for you. The thoughts of what sort of stuff you would do as a couple- were you the matching tattoos or matching pajamas type? DIY dates or something bougier? Probably more DIY, you were so down to earth, but Vernon would spoil you if you let him…

“Oh, come off it, bro,” you waved your best friend’s hand off your shoulder, wrinkling your nose at the embarrassing childhood anecdote, “I haven’t done that since I was a kid and you never saw me, my mom just told you the story!”

Bro? Bro! One choice word had Vernon’s ears perking up. He’d never caught you going full bro with your bestie before. Did he have a shot? Involuntarily his heartbeat picked up.

“And I’ll never let you forget it,” your best friend gave you a smug look, crossing his arms.

Your eyes met Vernon’s in a flustered glance. As cute as you looked embarrassed, he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. Instead he offered a comforting smile. “Don’t worry, I didn’t really catch it.”

Sighing in relief, you shook your head at your friend before looking once more at Vernon. “You’re so lucky you just have a sister, otherwise this is what you have to deal with.”

Vernon laughed at that, a sound that even surprised him, but such a giddy rush had struck his heart with the hope that came from your revelation. If your best friend was a brother in your eyes, could someone else hold your heart?

Dino

Lee Chan was, in a word, not having it.

You were it for him, a girl like he'd never met before, and it had become his newest mission in life to show you how amazing you were. Compliments, small gifts, being there for help or comfort whenever you needed it, all were fair game for the youngest member of Seventeen.

So why were you suddenly dragging this other guy around everywhere?

Chan's heart felt like it was in a vice when you made all the posts taking him to an amusement park, to Baskin Robbins, the park, all the cute places he would have given anything to go one-on-one with you to.

"Trust me, I think you should let this go," Minghao told him at practice one day, "look at his arm around her, nice but so stiff. There's no way the two of them are anything but friends."

Valid point, but who else would take up such major real estate of your time so quickly? Go from zero to sixty hanging out unless you were his girlfriend? Either way Chan wasn't going down without a fight.

The next time he saw you, the metaphorical gloves were off. And by that, Chan fully intended to march right up to you, thundering of his heart be darned, and have his choice words. Well, choice question, really.

"Why are you doing all those things with him and not me?" It wasn't entirely a complaint, not entirely a command or entreaty either. It was everything Chan felt when he looked at you and lit up, then saw someone else basking in that light.

Your brows furrowed at his words, every twitch of your muscle one of true confusion, before you spoke. "Who, my cousin? He's only in Seoul for a few more weeks, so we've been cramming it all in. Do you really want to do all that with me too?"

Cousin! Internally Chan was breaking out into a one-man dance routine. Externally? He had to keep it a bit cooler.

"With you and no one else," he confirmed with a smile, leaning back against the wall with a look of smug satisfaction, even if it did mean Minghao was right.

[ox1-lovesick]

hi love I HAVE A RQQQ- TXT OR ENHA WITH A SICK S/O PLEASE!! i have a killer cold and the worst dizzy spells ever nd i would love some comfort 😞😞 thank u sm

★ ✯ ☆ TXT WITH A SICK!S/O

★ pairing. txt x gn!reader genre. fluff, comfort warnings. mentions of food wc. 100-300 each

✯ synopsis. txt with a sick s/o!!

☆ a/n. firstly i am so sorry this took 4 months 💀 writers block is the bane of my existence. i do hope this manages to bring you some comfort though :( please do take care of yourself and get well soon! (even though you are most likely not sick anymore 😭) also how ironic is it that i'm currently sick... :')

YEONJUN | 연준

by your side 100% of the time you cannot get rid of him.

he's over your bed when you wake up in the morning, waiting outside the bathroom door for you, laying right next to while you're sleeping. everywhere you are, so is yeonjun

will bend over backwards to get you anything you need

water? medicine? soup? more blankets? less blankets? he's on it before you can even ask

cooks for you !!! tries to make your food as interesting as possible so you won't get bored, without adding things that will make you feel worse or aren't good for you

you're bedridden. don't even try to fight him

he won't let you lift a finger, he wants you to get as much rest as possible so you can get better as quickly as possible

infact don't even speak, he'll learn morse code so you can just beep him whenever you need

if his schedule allows he'll stay home with you and be by your side every second of the day, if not he's texting you every free moment he has to make sure you're okay

would definitely call in sick if you were feeling particularly tired and need his care that day

has multiple reminders to make sure you're taking your medicine on time, will scold you if you're even a second late

he'll never tell you but he secretly enjoys you being sick . . .

he love love loves to take care of you, especially when you call on him to do things for you it makes him all giddy knowing you need him (he's not a creep i swear)

he's ontop of you so much he probably catches whatever you have

atleast you're sick together

SOOBIN | 수빈

hates to see you sick

1. because it's gross 2. because he hates seeing you in pain but mainly because it's gross

you're not staying in his bed i'm sorry he's gonna come over to your house to take care of you during the day and go home to his snot free blankets at night

gets your medicine mixed up all the time and complains it's the doctor's fault for prescribing ones that look so similar

low-key takes advantage of this situation so he can skip work and spend some quality time with you LMAOOO

"sorry guys yn's still dying i can't come to work today"

at first it's fun because you just have your average head cold so he doesn't worry too much

but then it starts getting worse and he comes home to you falling over yourself in the kitchen because of your dizzy spells and nearly has a stroke

panik

he starts stressing like a mad man after that

probably gets himself sick just with how stressed out he is it's a problem

definitely calls his mom for help he doesn't know what to do

updates her on every little thing you do

"mom they just took a really deep breath does that mean something"

buys the entire pharmacy

wants to kick himself for not taking it seriously when you first got sick he feels so guilty 😭

although you did enjoy his company and the endless marvel marathons so all is well

will not leave you alone. you have to shit with the door open.

will do everything for you even if you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself

from brushing your hair to fluffing your pillows he's gonna do it all

he'll even clean for you, that's his ultimate declaration of love

in the end he didn't really do much to nurse you back to health but A for effort

BEOMGYU | 범규

i know practically everyone in moaville would say he'd tease the shit out of you but in my head he'd be the most worried for you

googles every single one of your symptoms and then cries himself to sleep because myonlineclinic.com told him you have cholera and 6 days to live

the only reason he'd tease you is to mask his worry

he'd watch you go through 60 boxes of tissues and be like "omg my snotty baby" but on the inside he's freaking out 😭

your pain is his pain, the way you feel affects him and his mood drastically

he's irritable when you are, he's tired when you are, your appetites probably sync too

puts a curse on whoever spread their nasty germs to you with ginger roots and vinegar

i think he'd also be the most sympathetic since he gets sick a lot more often than the others

so gentle and understanding compared to his usual self it's a little scary 😭

surprisingly good at negotiation like you're being stubborn because you don't want to take your medicine and he's like "if you drink the cough syrup i'll let you listen to the demos for our next comeback" and before you know it you've sold your childhood home to him for 3/4 of the initial price

will whip out his guitar and sing for you in a heartbeat if you ask him too

obviously tries to crack jokes and make you smile so you don't feel too miserable, he feels so accomplished even if you just scoff at him 🙁

gets back to his usual annoying self once you're better though

TAEHYUN | 태현

ironically, he doesn't know what to do

he rarely gets sick and when he does it passes in a day or two, so when you've been coughing like you have bronchitis for the past week he feels so lost

his first instinct is to take you to the doctor to figure out what's wrong but gets into a fight with doctor for charging him 19382928 won just to press his hand to your forehead and tell him you have a head cold (terry is against this capitalist society)

also buys the entire pharmacy

changes your entire lifestyle to the maximum efficiency so you get better as quickly as possible and makes sure you stick to it

strict like a prison warden, sometimes you wonder if he actually loves you

which he obviously does, but it's hard to believe so when he avoids any unnecessary contact with you as if you have the plague

takes you outside every once in a while to get some fresh air, he feels stuffy just watching you sit around

it also keeps you active 💪

he's always pestering you to wash your hands

will not let you touch him otherwise

makes sure he keeps your space clean, always has tissues and anything else you might need within your reach

at your aid 24/7

you take up a colossal space in his heart he's so soft for you

flying to your side before you even say anything

you don't even have to tbh he can read your mind

"how'd you know i wanted water?" "you looked thirsty"

if he notices you're feeling extra miserable he'll sing for you to cheer you up

swallows his pride because he's down bad and pulls out his best southern accent when you ask him to sing country music

he will be teased for the next millenia but it was worth it for you

he's like an overbearing mother but you get better the fastest when he's taking care of you

HUENINGKAI | 휴닝카이

another mama's boy

probably calls his sisters too

hiyyih would tell him to soak your pills in vegetable oil as a joke but he'll actually do it because he's just that hopeless

he's unable to think straight he just wants to do everything in his power to make you feel better 😭

although he gets the hang of it pretty quickly, he's a fast learner and genuinely enjoys taking care of you

always praising you !!

"wow yn!! i can't believe you ate all your soup!!! you're so cool!!!"

tries to distract you by showing you his entire collection of pokemon cards

probably lies and tells you they're all super rare and he's the only one in the world who has them

does his best not to cause you any stress, he just wants you to focus on resting

the things this man does because he loves you istg

he cleans the entire dorm because it's a breeding ground for bacteria and he doesn't want anything making you more sick

the guys come home to the house spotless they're just like 🤯🤯🤯🤯

taehyun asks you to get sick more often if it means he doesn't have to fight his way through the ironing board and bike to get to the sink

he even lets you play on his DS he's down bad

side rant: i feel like kai is secretly a neat freak, he abhors the sight of filth but is just too lazy to do anything about it so he forces himself to deal with it 💀

anyway he's such a sweetheart :( does his best to keep the mood up even if you're feeling miserable because your nose is so filled with so much snot that you can't breathe

his positive energy definitely rubs off on you!!!

he actually does a good job taking care of you, he's a bit stressed at first but you're back to good health in no time !!!

© OX1-LOVESICK ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work without my explicit permission.

[landprince]

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Characters: Sora, Riku Rating: E(xplicit) Pairing: Sora/Riku Words: 6,815 Tags: dreameater!riku, monsterfucking, predator/prey, consensual non-consent, rimming, handjobs, creampie, top!riku, bottom!sora, consensual underage sex, they are canon ages for this so still underage, curaga exists for a reason and by golly am I gonna make them use it Summary: if you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise

Sora stumbled as he ran through the underbrush, fear--primal and metallic tasting on his tongue--being the only thing pushing him forward at this point as he barely managed to sprint on doe-like legs. He was tired and knew the inevitability of getting caught was getting closer.

A branch he tried to push aside as he crashed through the forest snapped back after he shoved it out of his path, catching him on the cheek and biting deep. He hissed through his teeth as he felt the warmth of blood slip down his face from the cut. But that didn’t matter right now, the wound was superficial. Let it scar. Let it show how he survived. 

If he survived.

He continued to run for what felt like hours before collapsing on trembling knees outside the hollow of a rotted-out tree from sheer exhaustion. He clambered inside quickly, the pulpy insides had been carved out, either by time or wildlife, but for now, it was the perfect place for him to hide inside as he decided on what to do next. He tucked his quivering legs up against his chest as he shook in the shelter and tried to calm his racing heart. 

As the boy panted, open-mouthed, hot breath mixing with the balmy air, he felt the closest he had ever felt to a prey animal. Was this what being human meant? It made him sick to his stomach at how weak he truly was.

Holding out a hand, he tried to summon his keyblade for the millionth time that night, but other than a few sparkles as the magic tried to manifest, nothing materialized. He was defenseless.  Sure, he could throw a punch if need be, but the thing stalking him was big and strong and who knows if it would even be bothered by his noodly-armed punches. 

His heart stopped dead in his chest at the snapping of a branch nearby. Placing his hands over his mouth and nose, he tried desperately to keep his panicked breathing quiet as he strained his ears to make out any noise that could possibly be heard.

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 43: MORE TAPE(S)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Extreme Smut

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

Two days had passed and you were back home in Dublin, confronted with a sex-tape between Cillian and his assistant Kit that, by now, had spread like wildfire, making you uncomfortable and emotional every time a notification popped up on your social media accounts, alerting you to the video. All of your friends and acquaintances had, by now, sent this to you and you were sick of it.

Reaching for his phone, Cillian shut off the recording, unable to bear witnessing further humiliation in front of you. The walls of his luxury apartment closed in on him, suffocating in an oppressive shroud of shame.

"My own daughter has seen this and so has my son! Fuck!" Cillian groaned aloud, pacing agitatedly in the room. He turned to you with a look of desperation, his eyes pleading for understanding. Despite your resignation to the fact, your heart went out to him, feeling sympathy and guilt for placing him in this predicament.

"You know you can sue her for this, right?" you suggested hesitantly, clasping his hands softly, trying to offer whatever solace you could provide. Though your intentions were pure, you couldn't help but notice Cillian's reluctance.

"No, this would make things worse, I think," Cillian responded solemnly, running his fingers through his tousled hair in distraction.

A heavy silence settled upon the two of you as reality seeped in – there was no escaping the consequences of this event. No amount of legal action could undo the damage already done.

"Will you at least confront her about it?" you asked, seeing that she had filmed this without his knowledge and then leaked it to the press in spite.

"Yes, I am meeting with her tomorrow. My lawyer has sent her a letter to address the issue privately at first. But legal action? It would just create more publicity which I don't want for Nina's sake," Cillian revealed, looking downward, defeated. 

"I understand, Cills and I think that you should tell her exactly how devastating this is for everyone involved, especially your children. Surely, she can see this. You need to be firm," you advised earnestly, trying to impart strength to his weakening spirit. He nodded gratefully, appreciating your support during this challenging period.

"I will be firm Y/N. I promise," Cillian responded resolutely, pulling away from your touch with newfound determination. He needed to maintain composure now more than ever; letting emotions overwhelm him wouldn't serve anyone's best interest. Instead, it required coolness, levelheadedness, and strategizing. The battle was about to begin, and it wasn't one easily won.

Kit, his once trustworthy employee, had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

The very thought made him nauseous. How could she film them doing something so personal and share it with the entire world? The anger boiling inside of him threatened to consume him entirely.

Walking around aimlessly throughout the day, you noticed his turmoil increasing tenfold. Every step he took echoed with uncertainty and doubt; you could sense that something truly dramatic was about to unfold. After hours of deliberation, Cillian finally decided to take matters into his own hands, requesting a change of scenery.

"We should do something nice after I deal with this tomorrow. Just you and me," he suggested, and you smiled faintly, grateful for any respite from this hellish storm. Glancing at his tired features, a wave of protectiveness swept over you. It was essential to stay strong for him, offering moral support where necessary.

"That sounds perfect. We need a break from all this madness," you agreed, smiling warmly at him. As you looked into his weary eyes, you felt a mix of love, admiration, and concern, knowing just how difficult this whole debacle had become for him.

"How about a trip to somewhere like the Maldives? I have never been there, and Dermont reckons it's quite nice. Just you and me on the beach," Cillian proposed with a sparkle in his eye, as though daring you to imagine the possibility.

Your stomach fluttered, excitement building within you at the prospect of exploring such an idyllic destination while, at the same time, you knew that you could not leave Ireland now without risking being denied re-entry upon your return.

Your visa was about to run out and you needed to address this issue before embarking on a vacation.

"Cillian, I would love to go on a holiday with you, but I can't leave the country right now. My student visa expires soon, and I don't know what to do about it just yet. I am working on it though. But, if I leave Ireland now, I can't return without a new visa in place," you explained sheepishly, avoiding his gaze.

His expression shifted instantly, a mixture of disappointment and frustration flashing across his features.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cillian murmured softly, his eyes filled with understanding and worry.

Flinching momentarily, you admitted to him the difficulties you faced due to your impending immigration issues.

"Well, you've got your birthday coming up. You also have more important things to worry about at the moment and the premieres next month...I didn't want to burden you with my problems. I was just going to sort it out, but it proved to be much more difficult than I had anticipated, " you said and your words trailed off as your shoulders slumped, indicating your defeat.

Cillian wrapped an arm around your waist tenderly, displaying solidarity amidst adversity.

"Listen Y/N, you are my priority! I will ask my lawyer about this tomorrow after dealing with Kit. There must be an option if you want to stay. You may be able to change your visa to another visa or something," he said, and his tone exhibited care and understanding, allowing you to lean on him for support. "You do want to stay here, don't you?" Cillian questioned, wanting affirmation that his plan for staying together wasn't merely wishful thinking.

"Yes, Cillian. Of course I want to stay here. With you. I love you. Despite, Emma is staying in Ireland too. She is moving to Cork soon, and I want to be close to her as well," you expressed sincerely, locking eyes with him to convey your commitment.

His relief was palpable, and he held you closer still, promising to find a solution.

"Good. I am glad. Because there is no fucking way, I will ever let you go again," Cillian proclaimed confidently, taking charge of both situations which were now overshadowing your happiness.

"Dublin is my home now Cillian, so don't worry!" you replied cheerily but, just as you did, a bound of nausea hit you again, forcing you to make a mad dash to the bathroom.

Cillian, worried, followed behind and gently placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, whispering sweet words of encouragement, easing your anxiety somewhat.

He led you towards the bedroom afterwards, sitting beside you carefully, ensuring you felt comfortable enough to discuss the matter openly, thinking that the nausea was the result of your stress levels lately.

Feeling better physically, Cillian reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers lovingly. His eyes searched yours intently, seeking confirmation of your feelings regarding the situation.

"I hate seeing you like this, because of what Kit has done..." Cillian told you, but you interrupted him.

"No, it's not because of this. I am just hormonal. My cycle is all over the place ever since the surgery and I think that this is why I feel sick sometimes, "you tried to explain your condition, hoping that he understood the physical strain it put on you.

Cillian nodded sympathetically, wrapping you tightly in his arms, providing much-needed comfort.

"You should probably see someone about this again," he offered kindly, genuine concern evident in his voice. Your brow furrowed slightly in response, sensing the underlying undertone of concern rather than dismissal.

"I will, once you have dealt with Kit," you conceded, pondering the idea seriously for the first time. Your health had always taken a backseat, considering the recent surgeries and recoveries, coupled with the chaos surrounding the scandal. And perhaps this constant stress wasn't helping either.

"No, let's make sure we prioritise your health," Cillian remarked solemnly, adding weight to the conversation.

"Okay, I will get an appointment scheduled," you promised reluctantly, aware that the stress might eventually cause serious complications. Nevertheless, you couldn't help feeling irritated that these small concerns seemed to dominate most of your life currently.

With an aching heart, you glanced at your lover, acknowledging the gravity of the situation involving Kit and what you suggested next caught Cillian by suprise.

"You know, maybe, we should do something a little bit adventurous. Maybe this will take our minds off this video your crazy ass assistant shared on the internet," you teased playfully, your lips curling into a wicked smile.

"What do you have in mind?" Cillian asked, intrigued, as his eyebrows raised salaciously, a gleam of mischief lighting up his eyes.

"Something kinkier than anything we've done before," you told him before sliding down onto his lap.

"Okay. You have my attention. Tell me what you want to do," Cillian asked eagerly, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

A delicious thrill coursed through your veins as you contemplated the possibilities. The seductive power dynamics between you two made the air thick with sexual energy.

"I want us to explore some boundaries," you began slowly, savoring the taste of the forbidden fruit.

As you breathed heavily, trying to steady yourself against his chest, you continued, "And do things that we haven't even talked about."

Cillian swallowed hard, his breath catching. "Like what?" he ventured hesitantly, a hint of trepidation crossing his face.

You grinned wickedly, running your tongue along your bottom lip.

"Well, you are an actor, aren't you? So, how about some role play?"  You suggested coquettishly, letting your imagination run wild with various ideas dancing inside your head.

"I am all ears," Cillian said, his curiosity piqued.

"Well, we could pretend to be strangers meeting for the first time at a hotel. Then we could indulge in our fantasies, testing boundaries in our roles – teacher and student, doctor and patient, maybe even a dominant and submissive scenario," you mentioned, excited by the thought of turning the tables and experiencing each other differently.

"And we will film it, but just for us," you added, causing a wave of nervousness to ripple through him. Cillian hesitated briefly, his mind processing everything rapidly. Finally, he took a deep breath and accepted the challenge.

"I need to buy a camera first," he started, finally breaking the silence that hung heavy in the room. 

"Of course," you agreed, smiling warmly. The intensity of the discussion had increased exponentially, and your body burned with desire. It was almost painful to contain yourself, longing to experience the scenarios you discussed. As you kissed passionately, tangled limbs entwined in an erotic dance of pleasure, but your excitement was short lived as, suddenly, the doorbell rang startling you both.

Tags:

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[notsoattractivearenti]

Surprise x2 (Christian Pulisic x Reader)

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: few cursing words; mentions of pregnancy; possibly can cause baby fever lol. nothing else but fluff fluff fluff! 🥰

A/N: This was supposed to be the first fic I posted, but I just finished it after 2 weeks! Heavily inspired by the video above lol (not the gender reveal, but Christian's reaction). Written especially for dad!Puli nation 🥰🫶 Feedbacks would be appreciated!

---

“Shit, it’s 6 fucking AM!” you quietly said to yourself as you just woke up and already feeling extremely nauseous. You got up and rushed to the bathroom because you felt like you were so close on throwing up on the bed. Your husband, Christian woke up to the sound of you throwing up, which was pretty loud. He immediately got off the bed, grabbed some tissues and a glass of water from the bedside table, and went to the bathroom.

You were sitting on the floor, facing down the toilet, and you heard him coming over. You were looking up at his tired-yet-worried face as he said “Y/N love are you okay? Do you want me to get any meds or anything else? I also got you water in case you need it.” You were feeling too weak to say anything so you just nodded, then threw up again. He was there the whole time holding your hair up, caressing your back, and even said “sorry baby” multiple times. You were feeling extremely sick and so worried, so his presence made you felt a lot better. 

“Okay, I’m done,” you said as you wiped your mouth with a tissue, “everything inside my stomach is pretty much gone now, ugh.” He helped you stood up, you flushed the toilet and he asked, “what happened?” 

“I have no idea. Just got nausea out of nowhere.” He then nervously said something that made your heart skipped a beat: “Y/N, I don’t know but um, do you think uh, it’s possible that… You’re pregnant again?” 

You suddenly remembered that you did go through the same thing before finding out you were pregnant with Maxine, your firstborn. You froze for a second then responded, “Fuck. Chris, I need to get a pregnancy test like right now.” 

“I’ll get them for you, come on.” You both went back to your bedroom, then Christian grabbed his jacket and car keys, and kissed your forehead before he left. You had mixed feelings about the possibility of being pregnant again but you started questioning yourself: are you ready for another child? You are a great mom to Max and you love her very much, but going through pregnancy and taking care of a baby were no joke. You felt like you needed more time to do it all over again, but now it seemed like you weren’t given enough time. You and Christian just started talking about trying for baby number 2 — now that Maxine is already 2 years old — but somehow you might have ended up conceiving before you two were even actively trying.

While you waited for Christian, you went to Max’s room to wake her up. You opened the door and saw your beautiful daughter who was still asleep while cuddling her beloved stuffed penguin Christian got her after she was born, which she named Fuzzy Penny. You sat on her bed, and shortly before you woke her up you looked at her and thought how lucky you are to have her in your life. 

Max was a surprise baby, since you and Christian didn’t plan on having a child before you two got married yet you got pregnant with her 3 months after you got engaged. You remembered how scared you were, because you didn’t think you were ready even though you wanted to keep your baby, and Christian convinced you that everything was going to be alright. You’re so glad that he was right, because you couldn’t and don’t want to imagine your life without Max. Even though it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, she without a doubt has made your life so much better than you thought it could ever be. It felt like you just gave birth to her yesterday and now she is probably going to be a big sister.

“Good morning my little angel,” you whispered to her little ear as you gently kissed her head and caressed her arm, “time to rise and shine!” She slowly opened her eyes, looked up to you, then gave you a big, bright smile and softly said “Mommy!” Her little voice has never failed to make you smile. You were filled with worries before and thanks to Max, now you felt at peace. “How was your sleep? Was it good?” Max nodded her head while smiling, then grabbed her shoulder-length wavy hair and said to you “messy hair mommy.” “You have the cutest messy hair honey,” you laughed, then you picked her up “let’s get you out of this bed, and come find Daddy!”

Christian had just come back and as he entered the living room, Max spotted him and shouting “DADDY!!!” His eyes widened when he saw her, “Oh hey look who’s awake! Good morning my princess!”

He bent down to pick her up, wrapping her around his arms. She rested her head on Christian’s shoulder, had her arms around his neck, and Christian gave her kisses on the top of her head – he knows she loves it when he does that, and of course he loves doing it too. 

You couldn’t help but smile, thinking how beautiful that moment was even though you have seen it many, many times. You felt like there were millions of butterflies in your stomach, so in love with the man who is not just the best husband, but also the best father in the whole wide world. 

You were so caught up in the moment you forgot that you needed to take pregnancy test, but then Christian reminded you as he handed the bag over. “Honey, I wasn’t sure how many tests you may need but I got like 4 or 5 in there. I’ve checked all expiration dates so you’re good.” 

“Woah, thank you,” as you took the bag, “I’ll take them all right now.” He smiled, nodded and mouthed “I got you”. 

You went to the bathroom to took all the test. “Okay,” you sighed, “let’s get this over with.” You waited anxiously until you got the results. You heard the timer sound on your phone, meaning 2 minutes had passed. You closed your eyes and took 3 deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down before you saw the results. 

Two red lines. “Pregnant”. You couldn’t believe what you saw. You gasped, and stood still for a minute, trying to process everything. You’d gone through this before, but it still caught you off guard somehow. You were nervous, but now you have positive results, you didn’t feel that way anymore. You’re going to have another child, and you felt good about it. Even though you weren’t sure you were ready, at least you knew you can count on your loving husband for everything, especially much-needed support.

Now that you’d spent some time in the bathroom, you finally felt ready to tell your husband he's going to be a dad for the second time. As you walked to the kitchen, you heard Max and Christian laughing. You then took a peek to see what it was all about, and you saw they were cooking breakfast. He was making Max’s favorite breakfast: pancakes with berries and chocolate sauce – he couldn’t cook before, but the day you two found out you were pregnant with Max he started learning how to cook because he wanted to be able to make homemade meals for his family. You saw they were having so much fun cooking those pancakes. When he was cooking, he held Max on his hip, while flipping the pancakes with his other hand. The kitchen was messy, and they were covered in flour – you could tell they were having a lot of fun while making the batter. He shook the pan for a bit, lifted it, then flipped over the pancake. In awe, Max laughed, clapped her hands in excitement and told him “good job Daddy!”

You didn’t want to interrupt their moment, so you just stood where you are until they noticed you. “Oh hey, there’s Mommy! Come here, we made pancakes!” As you approached them, Christian set up the table with Max’s help – she was still attached to his hip, of course ­– then sat her down on the chair.

“Wow, these pancakes look so good! You two made the best pancakes in the world!” you complimented them. Max gave you a big smile then looked to her dad “Daddy did good.” Christian was blushing, kissed her cheek and said to her “I did good because I have the cutest little helper.” 

Before he sat down, you softly grabbed his arm, and you whispered, “Honey, seems like we got another surprise...” You saw his eyes lit up as you said those words. He looked at you as he responded, “Oh my God, Y/N, you’re really pregnant???” You grinned and nodded. 

He gave you the biggest hug and was smiling ear to ear. He’s always loved being a father, and now he’s going to be a father of two. You could feel his overwhelming joy, which brought you back to the day you found out the first time. Still hugging you, he told you “I love you so much, Y/N! Thank you for giving me two best surprises!” 

Before he released the hug he kissed you on the lips, then came towards Max, hugged her and told her in his excited, high-pitched voice, “Max! You’re gonna be a big sister!”

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14

[snazzy-suit]

Luigi: Liaison of Ghosts Chapter 9 Snippet(s)

Heyoooo I'm currently sick af and thought I'd share a couple snippets of the next LLoG AU installment. In this chapter, we see how the uneasy truce between Luigi and King Boo began. To no one's surprise, peace-talks following King Boo's release don't exactly go smoothly.

For context, Luigi, Mario, Gooigi, and King Boo are in an underground portion of E. Gadd's lab that's specifically designed to keep ghosts/spirits contained. The professor is watching the following events from the safety of an observation room. He communicates through an intercom system.

Currently, King Boo has snatched up Luigi in a large glove construct (think a smaller version of Master Hand) and is holding the man hostage...

___________________________

“Not another step, plumber! If you so much as twitch I will not hesitate to eat your scrawny brother!”

Mario freezes, aghast, and Luigi supposes he, too, should be alarmed by King Boo’s grisly threat. Instead, a memory drifts to the forefront of his mind, and Luigi feels himself relaxing minutely. He schools his features into some semblance of calm and meets Mario’s panicked gaze.

“He’s bluffing.”

Luigi is grateful his voice comes out level, and his confidence in his statement only rises when King Boo squawks indignantly.

“I most certainly am not!” the monarch snaps, voice shrill. “What could have possibly led you to draw such an idiotic conclusion?!”

“Gee, I don’t know,” Luigi begins flatly, “how about when you wanted to gargle bleach the first time you ever tasted me?” He looks to Mario, and deigns to elaborate. “Back at The Last Resort, King Boo slammed me into a door with his tongue—knocked the wind right out of me. He had the perfect chance to trap me in a portrait while I was catching my breath, but instead he chose to whine about how bad I tasted.”

The reactions to this little revelation are mixed. Mario looks like he isn’t sure whether to be horrified at Luigi’s close call or relieved by King Boo’s pettiness. Gooigi, if his gurgling laughter is any indication, finds it downright hilarious.

“First time?” E. Gadd murmurs through the speakers. “Stars above lad; just how many times were you in King Boo’s mouth that night?”

“…Professor, I am begging you to never repeat that in any capacity ever again.”

Gooigi laughs even harder. King Boo growls lowly, face heating with anger and no small amount of humiliation. He hefts Luigi higher with a snarl.

“How’s this for bluffing?” he hisses.

The construct grasping Luigi moves to hover over King Boo’s head, and the monarch quickly tilts back as they open their mouth. Luigi yelps when the large glove shifts so it is scruffing him by the back of his shirt. He now dangles precariously over tongue and toothy maw. Varying cries of alarm echo throughout the room. King Boo cackles, the metaphorical ball now back in his court.

But not for long.

_________________

(Let's jump ahead a bit in the scene, shall we?) Luigi has broken free from King Boo's grasp and an enraged Mario has powered up with a Super Star to deliver the ultimate beatdown. Luigi is quick to intervene before things go too far...

_________________

“Why are you still defending them?!” Mario demands, growing increasingly more frustrated with each passing second. “They just tried to eat you!”

“But they didn’t,” Luigi stresses.

“Only because you broke free!”

Luigi shakes his head. “No,” he refutes patiently, “they still wouldn’t have gone through with it.”

“How can you know that for sure?!”

“I already told you. Back at The Last Resort—”

“That was then!” Mario interjects. “This is now, Luigi. King Boo is trapped with nowhere to go. He could have just killed you out of spite!”

“I know, but—”

“But nothing!” Mario cries, cutting a hand through the air. “King Boo is dangerous and that’s never going to change! He’s just going to keep coming after us! Aren’t you tired of dealing with them?!”

“Aren’t you tired of dealing with Bowser?!” Luigi snaps.

Mario blinks back at Luigi, startled by his retort. “…what?”

“He’s dangerous, he’s tried to kill us multiple times, and he won’t stop abducting someone we care about,” Luigi says, counting off his fingers as he goes. “Who am I describing: King Boo or Bowser?”

Mario opens his mouth for a retort, but nothing impactful is forthcoming. His jaw works uselessly in the wake of his failed rebuttal. “That’s… that’s not a fair comparison.”

“You’re right,” Luigi agrees, “One of them gets invited to play tennis afterwards.”

“Luigi—”

“Do you not see the double-standard here?” Luigi continues sharply. “Look me in the eye and tell me it’s fair that Bowser—who attacks us and abducts Peach every other Tuesday—gets to walk free while King Boo—who has only targeted us three times—has to be imprisoned forever?”

Mario says nothing. It is silent but for the ambient hum of machinery. Even King Boo, always one to fill the air with his arsenal of targeted barbs and sardonic quips, has been rendered speechless. Luigi can feel the spectral monarch’s gaze boring into his back; it makes the hairs on his neck stand on end. He tries to ignore it. He keeps his focus on Mario, the latter struggling to meet his eyes.

The prismatic light enveloping Mario’s body begins to flicker—slowly, at first, but then in an increasingly rapid pattern until it finally snuffs out. Mario’s shoulders sag, whether it’s in defeat or weariness from the sudden loss of surging power, Luigi can’t say for certain. Luigi finds his own posture slouching, but with relief. He slowly closes the distance between them and places a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Look,” he begins quietly, lowering his voice to a more private volume, “I’m not exactly thrilled about all this either, but I made a promise to the other ghosts and spirits that I would free everyone. If I go back on my word without giving King Boo a proper chance, how are they supposed to trust me?”

Mario offers no verbal reply, but his grimace and averted gaze convey his discomfort well enough. Luigi sighs.

“Mario, you’re right to be wary of King Boo—I’m not trying to say otherwise. He’s one of the biggest threats we’ve ever faced. One of the few that’s ever…” Luigi trails off, a connection forming in his mind. “…gotten the upper hand on you.”

And as the words leave his mouth, Luigi is struck by a sudden realization. Why Mario’s reluctance to set King Boo free surpassed his own. Why Mario is seemingly content to let Bowser run amuck while simultaneously condemning King Boo for the same actions. Why he is so uncharacteristically angry.

Mario… is afraid.

___________________________

And that's it for now! This is all unedited and susceptible to change, so there's no telling what the final work will look like yet. As cruddy as I feel, it'll be a while before I can seriously focus on this again. Hopefully this little sneak peek will hold y'all over until it's ready!

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

I love you 3000 writing bonanza!

I’ve hit 3000 followers!!!

Now if you remember a while ago I asked how you guys would like to celebrate and this is what I’ve come up with! If you remember my 2.5k Followers Writing Challenge and Exchange its kinda similar to that but I’ve made some improvements!

What is going to happen is I am going to open up my askbox/dms for requests!

To make this manageable and allow me to complete as many as possible I will only be accepting requests in these following forms:

1) A question about a character or series

For example: How would X characters feel about Y character doing XYZ?

2) A What If…. For one of my series

For example: What If the character for X series met 10 years prior

3) A request using a maximum of 3 of the prompts below (the list is hella long so I’ve put it below the cut!)

For Example: Ari Levinson / Mob AU / You won’t get away so easy

If I receive a request that does not fall into one of these three categories then I will not fulfill it!

And because I like for everyone to be able to get involved if you yourself are a writer/want to give writing a go and you like any of the below prompts feel free to use them (the max of 3 doesn’t apply to you guys) all I ask is that you tag me, use the hashtag Niamh Loves You 3000, use appropriate warnings and let me know which ones you’re using so I can keep my eye out!

If you are writing a fic using the below prompts I ask you to follow these rules:

No sexual relations with minors, no somnophilia, necrophilia, incest, toilet stuff, snuff, or beastiality!

Dark Fics are allowed (Non-Con/Dub-Con) but they MUST BE APPROPRIATELY TAGGED!

Any creation MUST BE ORIGINAL! No stealing, stealing is bad!

The creation if part of a series must be able to be read as a stand alone!

No word limit! If it’s over 500 please use the read more function!

All the prompts are below the cut, remember its a max of three, but you can mix and match as you like so the possibilities are endless!

Characters:

Chris Evans

Steve Rogers

Andy Barber

Frank Adler

Ari Levinson

Curtis Everett

Johnny Storm

Jake Jensen

Ransom Drysdale

Any other Chris Evans character

Trope:

Fake Dating

Only One Bed

Enemies to Lovers

Friends to Lovers

Cuddling for warmth

Trapped together

Mistaken Identity

One night only

Love Triangle

Fated Mates

Childhood Sweethearts

Grumpy x Sunshine

Forbinned Love

Forced Proximity

WILDCARD! (You can pick an Trope not listed!)

AU:

A/B/O AU

Mob AU

Sports team AU

College AU

Emergency Service AU

(Medieval) Royalty AU

(Modern) Royalty AU

Pornstar AU

Fairytale / Fantasy AU

Biker AU

Soulmate AU

Band/Musician AU

WILDCARD! (You can pick an AU not listed!)

Dialogue:

"I told you not to touch that"

"I'm tired of answering that question"

"Why didn't they come?"

"I'm so sick of pretending everything's okay"

"don't just stand there! do something!"

"do you remember that night in [insert place]?"

"is there a problem here gentlemen?"

"what on earth happened here?"

"there's blood everywhere"

"Get in the van!"

"I'm not saying you're a bad cook, but even the flies in the kitchen wear gas masks."

"I may be a terrible dancer, but I've got great moves in bed."

"I'm not high maintenance; I'm just low tolerance for mediocrity."

"I love the sound of your voice and the way you say my name."

"Being with you feels like coming home."

“You're not the person I thought you were."

"I never imagined my life without you."

"I never got to say goodbye."

"I'm so glad you're here to point out my flaws. I would never have noticed them on my own."

"Oh, don't worry about being late. We'll just sit here and wait for you forever."

"I'm sorry. Did I ask for your opinion?"

"Why do you always insist on seeing the worst in people?"

"It's not my fault you can't handle the truth."

"You don't know what I'm capable of."

"I'll do whatever it takes to get what I want."

"You think you're better than me, but you're not."

"I'll use anyone I need to achieve my goals."

"You've made a huge mistake, and now you're going to pay for it."

"Don't you realize how much you've hurt everyone around you?"

"you have no idea what you do to me"

"don't you dare go slow"

"I don't think I'll be able to walk tomorrow"

"move and you won't be coming tonight"

"hands behind you're back"

"Beg for it"

"you can take it, you've done it before"

"I'm going to fucking ruin you"

"do you think you deserve a reward/punishment?"

"show me how much you missed me"

"Are you holding back? don't"

"shall we put your mouth to better use?"

"Slowly, I'm not going anywhere"

"I said I'd take care of you"

"Please, I can't sit still"

So there’s absolutely so many to pick from covering fluff, comedy, angst and smut 😉 don’t forget to follow the rules I’ve set out above!!

I love you all 3000 🩵🩵🩵

[stari-hun]

You're no storm au Isolde is so funny to me 🤣

She gives off strong: "You are a lesbian because you like women. I am a lesbian because I hate men AND love women" vibes, it's great 🤣

I also appreciate the implication that while Isolde "hides" a lot about herself, it's not because she thinks she needs to out of shame or fear but more so she works off a "well you didn't ask" mindset mixed with a bit of "it isn't as bad as it sounds" when discussing anything about herself. Which works great (it worries them deeply) when dealing with inquisitive/sensitive people.

Does she still suffer from seizures or (non paranormal) hallucinations in this AU, by the way? Or take any medication to help balance out her potential mental health issues if she has them in this AU?

✰. Yeah I wanted to address as much of canon as I could while still staying on true to what Isolde would be like with modern day. Also, hating men and liking women are separate to her from her experiences and PTSD. If she stopped liking women she'd just be aroace, there is zero reality where someone like her would even consider liking men.

She pretty actively resents all men, even Theopil, in the original story, but for women she can recognize that Evangeline IS sick and out of her mind, so it’s not the same with her. Mr Dittarsdorf is “perfectly sane” keeping his child around someone who wants to climb up to being a higher class noble, and even if he does his best later to find her help Theopil basically stayed away from the house as long as possible as a child… She rightfully resents them for a long time, but I think if she had time away from her family and home with a good support system, she'd realize how Theopil was a child just like she was.

✰. Isolde hiding herself is also modeled off canon because a part of her possession with The Small Room is the fact that she was hiding herself away from the world. She was tired, traumatized, and sick of the real world. Mr Karl groomed Isolde into a lot, and one of those things was conditioning her to not consider leaving Vienna. Her sense of duty is close to Mesmers where she doesn’t actually hold any sentiments towards her work, it’s something she MUST do. Fate made her a Dittarsdorf and she’ll be cursed like one in her opinion: it’s the template of her fate.

If Kakania was in the modern era then she’d absolutely want to explore and get away, and while her father disapproved of her practice, he would still be somewhat interested in the fact that his kid got a full ride scholarship to one of the most famous institutions in the world. Isolde doesn’t think of leaving cause it’s all she’s ever known, and like Mesmer, someone with severe PTSD she’ll seek something she knows for comfort. Isolde has such a massive dependency on Kakania as a source of comfort that if she left, Isolde would do everything to leave as well.

Actually, if she wasn’t possessed I’d probably write her in with Disassociate Identity Disorder cause her detachment, memory loss at times, and disconnects in personality would’ve made for a fun read, but there’d be an issue with possession being DID is ehhhh and also it be a lot to juggle. But I’ll probably write a lot more things of her in the future alongside Trista because she’s heavily implied to be the main ghost in control of Isolde.

✰. Isolde’s tendency to brush things off also comes from the fact that one of the first things she was taught for opera singing was that she WOULD get stalkers. Not that she needed to stay safe even, but that she would be harassed and obsessed over in life, and there was nothing anyone would do to protect her or even SHE could do for herself. Any issue she had and tried to bring up was immediately diminished, and only Theopil cared about the warning signs and similarities to the way Evangeline suffered. Tooth Fairy is upper middle class in the way Kakania is, her family has a long line of distinguished medical professionals. She’s also spent a lot of time in the SPDM by now, so she’s seen a lot of signs that children or even staff in the Foundation suffer from. Tooth Fairy is an extremely empathetic person, and she’s content to listen to others and takes enjoyment from it too.

✰. As for seizures, she definitely still suffers from them. I still wanna stay close to how they are in canon, just them getting older and living their lives without the Storm and inching towards the modern era. The timeline still goes like, Isolde childhood, letting the ghosts (mainly Trista) take over her life, and meeting Kakania at 15 when she got attached to her, and the ending of that possession at 18 when Kakania promised to treat her (it’s just a promise to do so in the future this time). I don’t have much of their backstory IN Vienna built yet, but Isolde had an incident where she was forced to stop letting the ghosts possess her (likely an incident surrounding the death of Mr Karl still).

I'll probably retcon it later by accident, but for medication, if the story's time would've been in 2007 and they were 18 then, they'd JUST be getting to 2024. I think medication would be hard for both of them, I'm gonna say Isolde would be sensitive to medication cause yes and also her issues are mostly a side effect of years of possession.

I do think Kakania takes some mild anxiety medication though. In her later years, once she can't spin herself up the wall to cope with not knowing what to do in any give situation, she turns to silent panicking until she has an answer (something she's working with in therapy).

As for Isolde, she can cope with the after effects of spending her childhood possessed. She also does a few small things to stop it from getting worse like sewing wards into the inner sides of all her clothing.

Another kind of fun tidbit is animals can sense she's been possessed and they're VERY wary of her. Even a very friendly dog wouldn't even be seen in the same room as her (I have a separate WIP of Isolde's normal girl adventures).

[starlightblogsblog]

I'm really fed up with this..and that every time people open my story on instagram they see a constant fight with an unbalanced person. Cuz if we block her she still has some fake acc and stalking us and keeps shiting on us through her storyes..even when we ignoring her..i'm realy sorry...for lh fans who are normal kind and sweet people... she really made Levihan fandom very toxic cuz other of her side lh fans are attacking us..but there's no help for her, she's imagined who knows what and you can't make her understand, there's no humanity in her. She's full of herself, arrogant and a very bad person. From all this 've concluded that no one likes her...some follow her because of her lh content but they unfollow her so quickly when they see who they have to deal with..but as for the others...who support her, it's just like her...toxic and unreasonable.

Is it my fault that a lot of Levihan fans don't want to have anything to do with her? Absolutely no...they are ashamed of her for all this nonsense she does.

We're all to blame for her and "play the victim" and be like

"fake fans" and she doesn't see her mistakes. some Levihan fans are ashamed of her..and some have moved away from her and enjoys in peace and having fun with..because they realized she's got some problems in her head And? Of course, we're to blame for that too... What is she talking about..? She keeps mixing Rivetra fans and Eruri because they are the "biggest" Levihan haters which is not true at all, they just give facts and defend themselves from this toxic bullying...and then when other Levihans fans don't want to mix with her toxic shiping of Levihan... they become Rivetra and Eruri fans not "real" Levihan fans...the logic has gone the other way I see..and also people who shift reality? And? What does she think someone who is a shifter will definitely listen to her? Aham she needs try harder..She forces people to ship Levihan...it has got out of control. I repeat again Lh is not canon and her theories segss in woods are just headcannon....and all her craps are in vain because she went too far with it, it's just canon in her wierd head which is completely lost in everything these lies.

After she insulted every possible person who don't ship levihan,also...she say she looks like Petra but then she spit on her..she also spit on Levi...she also tell that we are sick people and delusional if we think we have "a chance" with Levi cuz he "bath" Hange???? And we are forbidden to ship with Levi...cuz he is Hanges..??? Remember he knocked them !!... yall i know some of you love that ship but...is that only proof that is canon by her segss "canon" in woods after Levi get injured? and talking bad about Hange being prostitute...and also insulting us who believe in shifting reality and all those stuff..i still don't understand how she has so many followers...like so damn crazy person full of hate to others..racist harassing religion-insult- manipulate.

Down there is her tt acc so you know about who am talking about. We are all so tired and sick of her,we wish she leaves this fandom. Thats our true opinion.

[zurdurer]

Re-listening to malevolent from part 1 and I'm less than 5 minutes in and am already getting so worried for the next updates - also my tired brain is making shoddy (probably very obvious) connections

Btw it's been a while since I started this and I did not go further in the 1st episode than 5 minutes cus I stopped to write this lol

So urh spoiler warning for Malevolent probably!!

So it starts by flicking through radio stations followed by Arthur making panic noises. Then he's scared, can't remember who/ where he is, what happened and has a voice inside his head. Soo this got me thinking, obviously there's significance in the music. There's no way that it's JUST setting the scene of the office, it may be that in part don't get me wrong but given later context there may be a lot more in it.

Obviously there are musical associations with Kayne so this could be symbolising the beginning of his interest, the point where Kayne discovers Arthur? Or at least this one to see how he works out situations. There are probably things I've missed or forgotten that meant my brain thought of this but I cannot remember right now for the life of me.

What sticks out to me though is that the only times we hear or have mention of radio (to my knowledge) is when Arthur is in the coma (it's mentioned that John listened to the radio during) and at the end of part 43 after the resurrection. So they're pretty big events. The entity appearing, John's time alone in the care of the nurse, Arthur coming back.

I mean this could all mean nothing but if either idea holds any truth to the meaning of radio in this show then I have some ideas (and concerns) for what may happen in 43.

If radio signifies the attention of Kayne then 44 may include a visit from a very irritated and blood stained god. Which yk- that could be fuuun!!

However! I'm more worried about how similar that last snipet of 43 is to the beginning of 1. I'm concerned that maybe this will be cyclical. People are talkin about Arthur losing memories but oh my gods is that a concerningly possible future. Maybe I'm misremembering 43 but book event followed by Arthur not having fun followed by the KIY being his friend in some capacity with radio somewhere in the mix feels far too similar so it would not at all surprise me if memory fuckery was back too.

bonus thought about the beginning of the first episode. the song that played could have been a little reference to their developed relationship. The switching stations being their rocky start and journey before settling on a song that is preferred and turned up high as they accept their love for the other and they both become each other's main focus. The lyrics do just fit so well I mean come ON

"I cant forget the night i met you, thats all im dreaming of // and you call it madness, ah but i call it love"

ITS LITERALLY THEM!! Gods they make me sick

Anyway. Yeah so I'm concerned for 44 but am way too tired to think about anything much longer