#i am a bad canadian and torontonian
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going to a PWHL game today!
this is a very rare occasion where you will catch me sporting - it only happens every four years or so
#i know nothing about sports#i am a bad canadian and torontonian#i do not hockey or any other sport#i watched the raptors win the…league? tournament? a few years ago because it was an Event#but when everyone went to celebrate in yonge-dundas square i snuck home because i was sleepy#my friends asked what happened to me and i said what do you mean#i was there the whole time#(i was sleeping)#lb blabs
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excerpts from my new book where the president of the usa arranges a diplomatic marriage of the vice president to the prime minister of canada
“But... please!” I begged. “I do not wish to marry the prime minister of Canada! It is improper! By god, sir, i believe it is illegal!”
“The law,” Intoned the president, “Is whatever the president says that the law is, young lady.”
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“And in return for the Vice President’s hand in marriage” The Prime Minister’s vizier said officiously, “We present to the United States these five-hundred-head of moose.”
“Oh.” The President said, suddenly recognizing his diplomatic error.
“And!” The vizier added, sensing the President’s disapproval.
“Yes?” The president said hopefully.
“These thirty AHL players, who will surely do well in regional leagues!” The vizier said enthusiastically.
“Oh.” The President sighed.
“And the surviving members of the Barenaked Ladies!” The vizier offered desperately.
“OH!” Finally, they had my President’s attention.
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The prime minister, at last, saw me for the first time. His eyebrows raised slightly, and then he turned to his vizier and whispered something in his incomprehensible Canadian tongue. Alas, if only the prime minister spoke either English or French, both of which I spoke fluently!
“He says,” The vizier intoned, impatiently, “That you look quite beautiful in our traditional attire.”
I looked down at my Roots sweatshirt.
“Tell his Prime Minesterialness that I feel like a fool.” I hissed.
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"Corn syrup." He said experimentally. "Why, here, we make maple syrup!" He eyed me curiously, then cleared his throat. "Perhaps, Madame Vice President... Perhaps we are not so different, after all."
“I find, your grace, that we are very different indeed.” I breathed.
“You wound me, Madame Vice President.” He murmured.
“Good.” I whispered. “I hope it hurts really bad and stuff.”
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We were both breathless after his dashing rescue of me from the dreadful pirates.
“My lady.” He whispered. “I feared they may have wounded you.”
“Those scum!?” I scoffed. “I should like to see the day!”
“The Toronto pirates are the most feared of all Canada.” He said grimly. “The scourge of Lake Ontario. Why, I thought-”
“The day i am frightened of a Torontonian, Prime Minister...” I breathed, but trailed off.
“Madame Vice President.” He murmured. “You��re trembling.”
“Just... the shock...” I whispered, before I fainted cleanly into his muscular arms
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He knocked sheepishly on my door. “I brought you a book.” He said shyly. “For you to read, while you recover.
“You have books?!” I exclaimed. “In Canada?!”
“Yes, Madame Vice President.” He said shyly. “A great many books.”
I was stunned.
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“Madame Vice President.” He called, watching me attempt to manage the wretched crutches I relied upon since the pirate attack. “Should you need anything... please. Please. It would be a kindness to me, were you only to ask.”
I hesitated, then cleared my throat.
“Madame Prime Minister, you mean.” I murmured.
“What?” He breathed, his eyes alight.
“I have married you, and so I am now properly titled ‘Madame Prime Minister.’“I explained, my cheeks aflame.
“I ... I don’t know what to say.” He said quietly.
“Then say nothing.” I offered.
“Just... It doesn’t exactly work that way...”
“Shut up, stupid, yes it does.” I guided him helpfully.
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the birthday (laura fandom, 600w)
(happy birthday laura @disarmd, i wrote you a birthday fanfiction because i am your fan ♥)
"It's my birthday!" Laura thought happily when she woke up on October 30. "But it's also Monday," she realized a moment later, less happily. That meant she had to go to work and do boring stuff instead of write great Canadian literature, pet her beloved cat Boz, or watch a woman-centered television show.
But before Laura could leave for work, the phone rang. "Laura, hi!" said someone with an incredibly sexy voice that was also strangely familiar.
"Who is this?" Laura asked.
"It's Dua. Dua Lipa! I was just passing through Victoria and I wondered if you wanted to hang out?"
Laura had never met Dua Lipa before but she admired her work. "Absolutely," said Laura. "Did you want to like meet for coffee, or––?"
"Would it be okay if we watched hockey together? I heard your favourite team was playing!"
Somehow Laura had forgotten that the big game was today. "Sure, come on over," she said. Quickly, she emailed her boss that she couldn't come to work because she was stuck in the 427s and just couldn't get to the TZpR for an AfY3B. Her boss was also Canadian so he totally understood.
While Laura was waiting for Dua, she read a new 50k fic involving several of her favourite themes, and then took calls from family members who wanted to know specific ways they could make Laura's life easier in the coming year.
When Dua arrived, she was wearing that cute dress she'd worn on Jimmy Kimmel Live. "Happy birthday!" she said. "I hope it's okay I brought over some wine and weed and several delicious vegetarian options." After making friends with Boz, she settled down on the sofa with Laura to watch a bunch of muscular young men aggressively push their bodies against another bunch of muscular young men.
"I'm so glad Dylan Strome plays for the Leafs now," Dua said––and it was true! There he was, playing his heart out, occasionally getting confused and hugging his boyfriend on the other team instead of remembering they were on opposite sides.
"And look at Connor over there meditating," said Laura. "He looks so calm and centered now."
"I love hockey," said Dua, and snuggled closer to Laura on the sofa. "The best thing is how all the teenie-looking players are actually ten years older than they look so we don't even have to feel bad about it." Laura hadn't realized before that her favourite players were definitely born before 1992 but when she googled, it turned out Dua was right.
The game was super exciting. There were several homoerotic fights and the Torontonian and Edmontonian banter flew fast and furious. Meanwhile, the announcer kept up a stream of commentary about the Leafs probably dominating the Stanley Cup finals, and how wild it was that no team from America really had a chance this year.
"America who?" said Dua, and she and Laura both cracked up.
Finally the Leafs won. "How are you going to celebrate?" asked a reporter during the post-game interviews.
"Group sex, probably," said Mitch.
What a historic day in hockey! Laura and Dua were so happy. After celebrating for a while, Dua looked closely at Laura. "Are you okay? Suddenly you've gone a bit pensive."
Laura enjoyed spending time with someone so perceptive. "It's just that it's been such a wonderful day and I don't want it to end."
"It's not over yet! We still have to go to the party, remember?"
"The party?" Laura felt better already.
"Your birthday party! Everyone you really like will be there, plus a couple annoying people so we can talk about them later."
"That sounds perfect," said Laura. "This is the best birthday ever."
"That's because you're the best ever," said Dua Lipa. "You deserve it."
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Toronto - A Multicultural Treasure - Canada, February 2019
Welcome to Toronto, the most multiculturally diverse city on the planet, where more than 180 languages are spoken on a daily basis. A popular adage describes the city as "New York City run by the Swiss," and it's true—you can find world-class theater, underground tunnels, shopping and restaurants, the sidewalks are clean and the people are friendly. It's estimated that over half of Toronto's residents were born outside Canada and despite its complex makeup, Torontonians generally get along extremely well. When the weather is fine, Toronto is a blast: a vibrant, big-time city abuzz with activity. Some of the world's finest restaurants are found here, alongside happening bars and clubs and eclectic festivals. Yes, winter in Toronto can be a real drag, with things getting messy on the congested highways and crowded public transit system. But come here with patience, an open mind and even during frigid days and bone-chilling nights, you're bound to have a great time. There is a fresh international buzz about this city. Perhaps it's the influx of flush new residents from across the globe; or was it the Pan-Am Games that shone a spotlight on Toronto? Either way, this is a city that is waking up to its own greatness.
A little bit of history:
When Europeans first arrived at the site of present-day Toronto, the vicinity was inhabited by the Iroquois, who had displaced the Wyandot (Huron) people, occupants of the region for centuries. The name Toronto is likely derived from the Iroquoian word tkaronto, meaning "place where trees stand in the water". This refers to the northern end of what is now Lake Simcoe, where the Huron had planted tree saplings to corral fish. In the 1660s, the Iroquois established two villages within what is today Toronto. By 1701, the Mississauga had displaced the Iroquois, who abandoned the Toronto area at the end of the Beaver Wars, with most returning to their base in present-day New York. In the 17th century, the area was a crucial for travel, with the Humber and Rouge rivers providing a shortcut to the upper Great Lakes. These routes together were known as the Toronto Passage.
As a major destination for immigrants to Canada, the city grew rapidly through the remainder of the 19th century. The first significant wave of immigrants were Irish, fleeing the Great Irish Famine -the vast majority were Catholic. By 1851, the Irish-born population had become the largest single ethnic group in the city. For brief periods, Toronto was twice the capital of the united Province of Canada: first from 1849 to 1852, following unrest in Montreal, and later 1856 to 1858. After this date, Quebec was designated as the capital until 1866 (one year before Canadian Confederation). Since then, the capital of Canada has remained Ottawa, Ontario. Toronto became the capital of the province of Ontario after its official creation in 1867.
Following WWII, refugees from war-torn Europe and Chinese job-seekers arrived. Toronto's population grew to more than one million in 1951, when large-scale suburbanization began and doubled to two million by 1971. Following the elimination of racially based immigration policies by the late 1960s, Toronto became a destination for immigrants from all parts of the world. By the 1980s, Toronto had surpassed Montreal as Canada's most populous city and chief economic hub.
As is my usual practice, I’m taking up “residence” in a Hilton property – this time it’s the Doubletree on Chestnut Street in downtown. My red-eye flights via Detroit had me touching down at Pearson International by 10:30am, temperature was just 13f with a wind chill of -17f, heavy overcast skies and thick snowflakes beginning to float down to add to the existing accumulation on the runways. To say it was cold would be a vast understatement – my breath was a stream of white mist as I walked up the gangway from the plane into the terminal, shivering all the way. My arranged transfer to the hotel was via Jayride Shuttles, an excellent shuttle company I have used in the past. They are significantly cheaper than most transfer services to the city (I paid $35 USD for a one-way trip) and it can all be done online via their website. By noon I was checking into the Doubletree right in the heart of the entertainment center of Toronto – a 26-story building and my home-away-from-home for the next couple of weeks is on the 24th floor, overlooking the city center ice skating rink. A small room by my usual standards but very cozy, with a bay window affording sweeping views of the streets far below. The Wifi signal is always strong and stable and of course, numerous American/Canadian television channels to satisfy even me! After the redeye flights and having been awake for more than 39 hours, I was more than ready for a hot shower and a long afternoon nap – I can unpack and get settled in later.
My first morning in Toronto and I awoke to a fresh layer of snow blanketing the immediate area and glistening in the bright morning sunlight. Skaters are already zooming around the rink, wrapped up like Goodyear Tire Men from head to foot in thick coats, scarves, hats and gloves. Temperature was -9c with a wind chill of -13c…. that called for hot coffee and lots of it. After the standard hotel buffet breakfast (or “brekkie” as it’s known in Canada), I stopped by the front desk to collect a city street map and some sightseeing literature – now I’m ready to plan my 2-week stay. Thankfully I picked an ideal location to use as a base of operations – I’m in easy walking distance from just about everything and even though it means braving these crazy temps, I’m ready to take on the challenge of Toronto’s outdoors. I have my winter coat (only one I own), gloves, umbrella and even a scarf – only missing the requisite fur hat…..you can now refer to me as Nannoka of the North, bring on the blizzard…. LOL.
Just as I was debating whether to go out for dinner or eat in, the fire alarm went off in my room – so loud, it startled me out of a half doze. Then came an announcement that the fire department was its way to check out the problem. This lasted for almost 25 minutes with the alarm shrieking constantly, only halted temporarily when an updated announcement was made by hotel staff. Finally it was determined to be a false alarm and things seemed to return to normal – yeah right. By this time, I had made the decision to eat in so made my way to the elevators. Turns out when the alarm was triggered the elevators automatically stopped, and until a serviceman arrived to release them, they were not moving. I had a choice: either go hungry or hike down 24 flights of back service stairs……no contest, I’m headed for the lobby on the ankle express (aka hiking). If I hadn’t been hungry earlier, I had definitely worked up an appetite when I reached the ground floor. See how much fun can be had while traveling the globe…. certainly boggles the mind at times.
Hemispheres Restaurant and Bistro is the inhouse eatery on the lobby floor. Having opted to eat here this evening, I was pleasantly surprised at the menu options. I selected the pea soup puree with wasabi cream which, in spite of its name, tasted way better than it sounds. My entrée was a fantastic Bistro burger with smoked gouda cheese accompanied by sweet potato fries – a really fantastic dinner. Considering I was dining in a hotel restaurant the resulting $27 USD bill was reasonable, and the food was excellent. Thank all the gods on high the elevators had been released for service by this time, and I didn’t have to hike UP 24 flights – that was NOT on my list of things to do this evening!
In spite of my clothing preparations, my sightseeing plans went to hell in a hand basket when I opened the drapes the next morning to see light snow falling. That wouldn’t normally have stopped me, but what I heard on the local weather newscast did. The City had issued a severe cold temperature warning, along with a major storm announcement moving into the area tomorrow morning, along with a prediction for heavy snowfall, ice pellets, freezing rain and mercury readings I don’t even want to think about. Sand trucks are being readied for the upcoming blizzard, so being outside and exploring is out of the question for a day or so…. I’ll use this time to finalize upcoming trips and watch the snow drifts get higher and higher outside my windows.
I’m looking at the blizzard right now – make that a “whiteout” – swirling outside my windows….I awoke a couple of hours ago to relative calm and low temps. Promptly at 7:30am the predicted winter storm rolled into Toronto and it has been hell on wheels ever since. The order to close all city schools went out very early; except for the subway, city transportation is at a standstill; the airport has cancelled multiple flights, government employees are working from home, and yet there are people on the street walking their dogs! The winds are howling, blowing the snow in all directions building drifts against every available wall, and I have a front-row seat for all this excitement – how cool is that?
Unfortunately I missed one of the city’s most popular events by just one day…..Winterlicious, created by the city and held from January 25 to February 4. It featured delectable three-course prix fixe menus at nearly 200 participating restaurants and an eclectic culinary event series city-wide. Bad logistical planning on my part.
However I am in time and in town for another spectacular event: the Toronto Light Festival, now in its third year. Approximately 750,000 lights are used to create a magical experience that sees the area’s 50+ Victorian-era buildings surrounded by light sculptures and dazzling canopies. Here I’m on a new visual journey and imaginative cerebral adventure, designed to entertain and inspire. The Festival transforms this neighborhood into one of the largest open-air galleries in the world, lighting up the long winter nights with distinctive works from both local and international light artists. Formerly the home of Gooderham and Worts, which was once the largest distiller in the world, it is now a designed National Historic Site. A free event which runs thru March 2nd is located in the Distillery Historic District. This entire complex is a romantic, creative and pedestrian-only village, lined with cobblestone streets and endless galleries, restaurants, cafes and shopping boutiques.
Winter here offers something else for free, ice skating at the Evergreen Brick Works. The Don Valley Brick Works (aka the Evergreen Brick Works) is a former quarry and industrial site which operated for nearly 100 years, providing bricks used to construct many well-known Toronto landmarks. Since the closure of the original factory, the quarry has been converted into a city park which includes a series of naturalized ponds, while the buildings have been restored and opened as an environmentally-focused community and cultural center by Evergreen, a national charity dedicated to restoring nature in urban environments. The outdoor rink weaves thru snow-covered gardens under exposed beams of the old brick factory roof and is considered one of the most picturesque skating rinks in Toronto. Bring your own skates or rent a pair for $5 (USD $3.74). Open 10am-5pm Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays from December to March, with Winter Wednesdays from 5:30 to 9:30pm thru February 20th. These hours are always weather-dependent. My days on ice are long gone – I’m thankful to stand upright and walk without assistance these days - but it will be a great photo op and an interesting evening while I’m here, not to mention a chance to hoist a couple of hot buttered-rum toddies!
The most iconic (and definitely most visible) landmark in Toronto as to be the CN Tower measuring some 1,815’ high, making it the tallest structure in the western hemisphere. Located at 290 Bremner Boulevard, it provides numerous options for scoping out city views from three observation decks, with my favorite being the glass floor elevator watching the street get further and further away as you ride higher – certainly not for the faint hearted! The Skyped Observation Platform is the place to see Niagara and New York state on a clear day and for a really special meal, book a table at 360 Restaurant. This revolving eatery dishes up signature Canadian cuisine with a seasonally changing menu. Don’t even think of coming here without your camera – it’s the ultimate photo opportunity.
Known as the Castle on the Hill, Casa Loma took three years and $3.5M ($2.6M USD) to build. It’s owner, Sir Henry Pellatt, filled Casa Loma with priceless artwork from Canada and around the world. It stood as a monument to its creator – it surpassed any private home in North America and was once the largest private residence in Canada. With soaring battlements and secret passageways, it paid homage to the castles and knights of days gone by, and to this day it remains one of the only true castles on the North American continent. This grand estate features secret tunnels and doors, as well as colorfully lush gardens and very ornate details, like the family coat of arms on the library ceiling. Case Loma is also home to a historic-themed series of theatrical escape rooms, where guests can choose from 4 different games. Located at 1 Austin Terrace, you can find times, tickets and more information at escapecasealoma.com.
For the foodies in the crowd, St. Lawrence Market should be on your “must see” list when in town. Named by National Geographic Magazine as one of the world’s top food markets, it dates back to 1845 and features more than 120 vendors selling all manner of fresh fruit, vegetables, meat, fish, cheese and baked goods. No, you don’t have to be shopping for a rack of lamb to justify a visit: the market is also home to a variety of takeout food stalls. It is made up of three major markets: Farmer’s Market only open on Saturdays 5am to 3pm; Antiques Market only open on Sundays 5am to 5pm; and the main South Market open Tuesdays-Thursdays 8am to 6pm, Fridays 8am to 7pm, Saturdays 5am to 5pm and closed on Sundays. A big plus is the Market Gallery located on the second floor of the South Market. It’s home to rotating exhibits that chronicle Toronto’s unique history via photographs, maps, paintings and more. Located at 92-95 Front Street East, just a couple of blocks from the Distillery.
And of course you can’t visit Canada and not visit the Hockey Hall of Fame (Canadians LIVE for this game). Located at Brookfield Place, 30 Yonge Street in downtown, it’s Toronto’s tribute to the national obsession featuring memorabilia, displays and interactive games. Fans are invited to do their own play-by-play commentary on classic games in the TSN/RDS broadcast zone, tour a replica of the Canadiens dressing room, or test their skill and block shots from some of the game’s greatest shooters. Visitors can also have a photo op with the game’s ultimate hardware: the Stanley Cup. There’s a new permanent exhibit here - The Mask - which chronicles the evolution of goalie masks as a means of protection and self-expression. Currently there are 90 masks on display.
Toronto boasts some of the best museums, including The Royal Ontario, Museum of Illusions, Gardiner Museum, Gibson House, Aga Khan, Museum of Contemporary Art and others. It also has numerous shopping centers and malls, the best known being the CF Toronto Easton Centre located downtown at 20 Yonge Street. One of the busiest malls in North America, it offers more than 250 shops, services and restaurants under its roof. An elevated pedestrian bridge over Queen Street connects to the flagship Hudson’s Bay department store and Saks Fifth Avenue across the street. Not being a shopaholic in even the vaguest sense of the word, you won’t find me anywhere near a mall 99% of the time, but this place is worth a visit if only to gawp with stunned reactions, at the price tags on the haute couture at design houses such as Balmain, Dior, Givenchy, Rodarte and Jason Wu (a favorite of Michelle Obama). Do people really buy stuff with that many numbers after the dollar sign? Evidently they do – enough to give both me and my credit card heart attacks.
Just 90 miles south of Toronto across Lake Ontario is a natural wonder of the world - Niagara Falls. I have visited it previously in summer and winter seasons many years ago – I think the most dramatic of all is right now, slap in the middle of February and during one of the coldest winters we have experienced in decades. During my sightseeing planning session on day one, I found a fantastic combo deal online via City Sightseeing Tours which, for a grand total of just under $80 USD, gets me not only my favorite HOHO 2-day unlimited-use bus ticket to explore Toronto, but also a full day tour to the Falls. I’m booked for Valentine’s Day and expecting it to be a frozen winter wonderland from start to finish.
The tour coach arrived some 20 minutes late, due to rush hour traffic and the ever-present construction sites, but finally around 10am all 35 tourists were onboard, and we made our way out of the city. It’s about an hour and a half drive to reach the Falls, paralleling Lake Ontario and passing thru the towns of Mississauga and Hamilton. The weather was holding well, and the sun actually made an appearance just before we reached Niagara. Yes, it was a winter wonderland with the thundering Falls throwing mist hundreds of feet into the air, much of which falls as frozen rain on surrounding rocks and embankments. This frozen mist builds up layer upon layer on virtually any available surface, until the entire area becomes a surreal landscape of sparkling snow, blue/white ice, and when accompanied by the most brilliant turquoise green water of the rushing Niagara River…..well, this place is simply stunning. The verdant green color of the water is a byproduct of the estimated 60 tons every minute of dissolved salts and "rock flour" (very finely ground rock) generated by the erosive force of the river itself. It’s something to see in summer time, but nothing compares with being here in the dead of winter. Niagara Falls is the collective name for three waterfalls (Horseshoe Falls, American Falls, and Bridal Veil Falls) that straddle the international border between the Canadian province of Ontario and the US state of New York, forming the southern end of the Niagara Gorge. The American Falls usually appear to be more “frozen” than the Horseshoe Falls because they only receive about 7% of the Niagara River flow. With less water cascading over these Falls, there is a greater opportunity for ice buildup. Superlatives are not in short supply here: the cumulative output of the falls is the highest of any falls in the world, with Horseshoe Falls being the most powerful on the North American continent. In the dawn of the automotive age, Niagara Falls was the top honeymoon and summer vacation destination and even though it no longer has that claim to fame, it still attracts millions of tourists every year.
There has only been one occurrence where the flow of Niagara Falls has been stopped due to a freeze-up which actually happened on March 29, 1848. After an extremely cold winter, the thick ice of Lake Erie began to break up during a duration of warm weather. Followed by a strong eastward wind, this caused the ice to form in the mouth of the Niagara River which then caused a blockage of water from flowing down towards the Horseshoe Falls. When water comes crashing down over the Falls into the rocks below, it causes it to turn solid and form what is known as “The Ice Bridge” connecting the American side to the Canadian Side. Many years ago, the Ice Bridge was a popular tourist attraction as visitors would gather on the bridge and admire the beauty that the cold winter weather had created. Both Canadian and American visitors would gather to walk on the bridge, where they could enjoy fresh food and beverages as some entrepreneurs set up concession stands during these cold times. That was all until an unfortunate disaster occurred on February 4, 1912 when the bridge broke off and caused three people to drift down the river to their death. Ever since this incident occurred, walking on the Ice Bridge is forbidden. For the majority of winters the Falls are known to partially freeze, although the Falls never entirely freeze-up on the waterfall or in the Niagara River. Notable years for the Falls displaying this icing up are 1885, 1902, 1906, 1911, 1932, 1936, 2014, and 2017. The illusion of the falls freezing completely is due to the outer part of the falls creating a buildup of ice, but underneath that outer shell, the water is continuously flowing down the Falls at a constant rate.
I had a couple of hours to explore, take photographs and grab a bowl of hot spicy chili for lunch at a nearby restaurant. It was too cold to spend a lot of time out of doors, but I had a great viewing spot from the second floor of the restaurant building and was able to take some stunning pictures. From here it’s a short drive to our next stop, Niagara-on-the-Lake, and there’s something about this town that makes you want to linger. The heritage district here is made for walking, with its boutique shops, cast-iron planters and horse-drawn carriages transporting riders to another time and place. It’s Victorian-era 19th century is charm personified, and you could easily transplant the entire town and set it down anywhere in New England, where it would blend in perfectly. Located at the point where the Niagara River flows into Lake Ontario, it is the only town in Canada with a Lord Mayor. The permanent population is about 18,000 residents.
Besides the obvious attraction of Niagara Falls, there are many other distinct historic sites in the area that educate tourists about the significance that the region served in shaping Canada to what it is today. The War of 1812 was a turning point in Niagara Falls history, when the fledgling United States army fought British Loyalists for the new lands that would become Canada. From Fort Erie to Niagara-on-the-Lake, it’s possible to visit the past, carefully restored and recreated. At Old Fort Erie, authentically dressed guides in 1812 period costume, recreate life in this former British garrison, including daily musket demonstrations and the annual Siege of Old Fort Erie Re-enactment. Fort Erie was also an entry point for freedom-seeking black slaves escaping persecution in the U.S. The point of entry into Canada from Buffalo, was known as “The Crossing” and is the start of the Freedom Trail - part of the Underground Railroad. There are innumerable stops for those interested in the history of the area, including Brock’s Monument, a tribute to the British General who lost his life at the Battle of Queenston in 1812.The Daredevil Exhibit at the IMAX theatre showcases real artifacts from daredevils that survived the plunge, and along with the all the stories to go with how each daredevil attempted the treacherous stunt of plummeting down the Falls. The Museum is where visitors can explore the history that changed a nation with real artifacts, images, videos and interactive experiences designed to deliver full exposure to historic events in the region. The Niagara Falls Gallery provides visitors with an opportunity to experience the history of the iconic Falls from the geological creation of the Falls to the daredevils that tested the ferocious capability of nature.
Our final stop before heading back to Toronto, was at the Niagara College Teaching Distillery located in the heart of Niagara’s wine country - its claim to fame is producing ice wine. It takes 4 times as many frozen grapes to produce it compared to regular wines and is sweet enough to make you gag…..not my idea of wine drinking at all, but it is an acquired taste. 40 students each year are selected for the college course and are taught everything from A to Z about making wine. Graduation from this college gives students multiple employment opportunities, especially in the hospitality industries.
During my stay in Toronto, the weather pendulum has swung from one extreme to the other. I have seen sunlight, snow blizzards, ice storms and ferocious winds, sometimes all in one day! Temperatures have rarely risen above freezing and are usually well below that but surprisingly, I have enjoyed the craziness of it all. This is a great town to explore, even if I’ve had to negotiate snow drifts on the sidewalks, handle ice pellets bouncing off my umbrella, and figure out where I am when caught in a “whiteout” …..such is life for a road warrior.
The post “ Toronto - A Multicultural Treasure - Canada, February 2019 “ was originally seen on Travel Blog
Intravenous Hydration Clinic Toronto Ontario - Dr. Amauri Wellness Centre - Dr. Amauri Caversan
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Realtor Stats: How Many Transactions Were Agents Doing In 2017?
TorontoRealtyBlog
Search Google all you want, I assure you – you will never find the answer to that question.
So many people ask me questions on this subject, all the time. And even agents themselves want to know!
I don’t know what conclusions you can draw from the data, but I do know that TREB doesn’t make this available.
So I will. What the hell…
Like I said – what conclusions can draw?
Good or bad?
I’m scratching my head, trying to think of how the public might react to this data, both optimistically, and pessimistically.
The average person might want to know, “How many licensed Realtors complete zero transactions per year?” It’s a great question. Would TREB provide an answer, if asked? What is the upside? What is the downside? How can you create an argument either way?
If 10% of Realtors perform zero transactions, is that better than if it were 5%, or worse? What kind of argument are we making?
So I’m going to provide you with all the data today, and answers to just about all the questions you can ask.
First, the disclaimers:
1) This data is not coming from TREB. It’s coming from a third-party company, licensed by TREB, to track the data.
2) The third-party only tracks agents that have performed a transaction (sales, not leases) in the past 12 months.
3) I do not know the exact number of Realtors that are licensed through TREB, but I would estimate it at around 48,000. So we’ll use that number for all our figures below, and you have to keep in mind that the data I’m providing is not exact, but it is very, very close.
4) This data is for the entirety of 2017.
Sound good?
There are so many questions to ask here, I’m like a kid on Christmas; I almost don’t know where to begin.
So we know that there are 48,000 licensed Realtors at TREB, I guess the first question that I would want to know is, “How many licensed agents performed zero transactions in 2017?”
Yes, that’s the first question on my mind.
Call me a sadist, but I just really want to know
Any guesses, folks?
Any ideas on the number, or percentages?
Wanna throw out a number before you scroll down?
Here, I’ll help you avoid the temptation to move along without guessing. Just try – out of 48,000, how many did zero transactions in 2017?
How about 15,303 agents. Out of 48,000.
Does that sound high or low?
That’s 31.9% of all Realtors licensed through TREB, who did zero transactions in 2017.
If I were on the outside looking in, I’d think that number is high.
That’s almost a third! And while we know that not everybody who has a real estate license is active, surely you’d assume that your friend Wally, who is a full-time bartender but has his real estate license just in case any of you want to buy a condo, represents a lot lower percentage of the gang!
Okay, so how many agents did one transaction in 2017?
8,344.
Which means that the number of licensed Realtors who did one or fewer transactions in 2017 is………………..49.3%.
Is that shocking, or what?
HALF of all the licensed agents by the Toronto Real Estate Board are doing one or fewer transactions. It just boggles the mind.
Now I could go on to two, then three, then four, and so on, but I think you get the idea at the lower end.
How about the idea of, say, “enough money to make a living?”
I suppose we need to define “a living,” but since we know the $15/hour minimum wage will bring the minimum salary up to $30,000 per year ($15 x 40 hours, x 50 weeks, or more if you’re paid for vacation), then clearly we can’t look at $30,000, or anything close to it.
I’m looking for at least a “decent” living.
Let’s look at the number of licensed Realtors that perform four or more transactions per year. Why four? Well, I have a theory that four transactions is the magic number to make “a decent living” in real estate.
So first, let me test that theory.
I want to know the “dollar volume of sales” for your average agent doing 4 transactions in 2017.
What does that mean? If you did sales of $1,100,000, $425,000, $725,000, and $1,981,000, your dollar volume of sales would be $4,231,000.
There were 2,738 agents who did four sales in 2017, so I’ve taken a random sample of 500 of those agents, looking for the average dollar volume of sales.
From my random sample, the average is $2,985,716.
Let’s assume a 2.5% commission on these sales.
That would mean the average agent who does 4 transactions per year is making a gross commission of $74,642.90.
That’s not chump change, am I right? It’s far more than the average Torontonian makes in a year!
But consider that this is the gross commission, and the agent still needs to split with their brokerage.
Brokerage splits vary across the city, and across different business models.
When I started with Bosley Real Estate in 2004, I was on a 60/40 commission split, which very few, if any (including Bosley) brokerages still have today.
On the other hand, there are many “virtual brokerages” that offer a 100/0 split, with a per-transaction fee, desk fee, and/or other fees.
So while most agents at full-service brokerages, who gross $74,642.90 per year, would find themselves on a 70/30 split, let’s factor in the virtual models, and call this an 80/20 split.
With that average agent paying a 20% split to their brokerage, the $74,642.90 ends up putting $59,714.32 into their pocket.
Still a fantastic living, right?
But there are fees! Lots of fees! The Toronto Real Estate Board, Canadian Real Estate Association, Real Estate Council of Ontario, and so forth. Call it perhaps $4,000.
Now the agent is down to $55,714.32, but still a great living.
What about all the courses? There are several courses you need to take to get licensed, then some more “articling” courses in the two years after you obtain your license, then these cash-grab courses they call “continuing education.” While most of the money is paid up front, I’d say if you average out the first five years, you’re $1,500 per year.
Now we’re down to $54,214.32
What about expenses?
Maybe these agents doing four transactions per year aren’t buying billboards, but they sure are spending!
You pay for everything in real estate, no matter the brokerage. At $1.50 per feature sheet, that adds up over the course of a year!
Even agents doing four transactions per year have to be spending at least $10,000 per year. Many agents spend that per week, but let’s be conservative here.
So now the $74,642.90 is down to $44,214.32.
And I’m going ignore things like car leases and insurance, because while those are legitimate write-offs in the business, if this person wasn’t in real estate, they’d probably stil have a car and car insurance. Same goes for a host of other items that I could claim to bring that $47K number lower, but for now, let’s say we’re done.
So $44,000.
That’s a lot more than a LOT of people make!
But it doesn’t make you rich, and it’s nowhere close to the $77,642.90 gross amount that agents doing 4 transactions per year say they do.
So now the big reveal: how many agents are doing MORE than four transactions per year?
25.8%
One in four agents licensed by the Toronto Real Estate Board is netting more than $44,000 per year.
Or if you’re an aspiring Realtor, you can say, “I have a one-in-four chance of making more tha $44,000 per year; do I like those odds?”
I had a lot of fun with these numbers, folks.
How many agents do you think do ten or more transactions in a year?
10.4%.
So perhaps now it’s time for me to provide the bigger reveal, and show you the breakdown:
I showed this to a few folks at my office, and two of them said, “You’re looking at greater than or equal to,” ie five or more transactions. I was told I should look at less than, since it might be more interesting to those who choose to see the cup half empty.
And you know? I thought this was a neat way of looking at things to.
So here’s the data in a different light:
“Less than 1” is a nice way of saying, “Zero.”
For those curious about the numbers closer to the top, I can’t reveal names.
But if you want to know which “agent” did the most deals apparently, one guy did 603 sales.
Really.
But at the same time, not really.
A lot of agents have a “team” working for them, and even though a team-member completes a transaction, the sale is still reported under that one agent’s name.
It is physically impossible for one agent to complete 100 deals or more without any help. So the 603 deals at the top is silly.
Next five down the list?
435 292 235 213 211
Again, those are teams masquerading as agents.
39 agents are credited with having completed 100+ transactions. The reason I didn’t have a line for “100+” on my chart above is because, as I mentioned, these numbers aren’t truly indicative of how many deals these agents are doing. But nevertheless, that’s impressive!
So just as we read “Choose Your Own Adventure” books as kids, you can feel free to draw your own conclusions on the data above…
The post Realtor Stats: How Many Transactions Were Agents Doing In 2017? appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.
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It is worth noting that the author of this article is a socialist-leaning voter and so the following article is more of a reflection of interviews conducted from May to June 2017.
“If you’re not a liberal when you’re 25, you have no heart.” John Adams reportedly said this back in the late 1700s, just after the American revolution.
Now, more than 200 years later, many young people still adhere to the same principles. Fighting with older ‘conservative’ adults or parents is incredibly common currently, with people getting more and more political at younger ages than ever before. Most young people, by the time they hit college (a whopping 60% ) are democratic or liberal leaning, 23% are unsure of their political alignment and 17% of students are republican/conservative, a 2017 Harvard Politics study finds.
The majority of college professors, too, are more liberal than conservative. According to a 2012 study, the liberal to conservative ratio of college professors is 5:1 across North America (Canada, Mexico and the US included).
Students being Liberal “make a lot of sense”, according to Janice, a 21-year- old Torontonian Ryerson student who I spoke to about being a political college student:
“ "We’re all more or less looking for a better future, right? So we have to get together and band together against the things we don’t like seeing.” Janice tells me, saying that now more than ever her politics is focused more on just what she believes, but mobilizing others to agree with her.
“Do you see yourself in the future with politics?”
“I’m a psychology major, so not really.” She says, laughing.
Across the pond – lake, really – at the University of Michigan, Jonas, a 19-year-old engineering student from Montgomery, Alabama, was raised conservative, and never really got out of it.
“I don’t feel like I need to defend myself and my beliefs in front of people, but I’m often asked to. A lot of people stop talking to me or calling me racist or an a**hole because I tell them that I’m conservative.”
What’s become more of an issue for students like Jonas is that they’re supposed have such an space around them that’s been designed by other students, but because of their political views, they feel like an outsider in a lot of cases.
“To me, it’s like I because I disagree with some of the views that they have, I’m not allowed to be safe as I learn. I didn’t come to college for my views to be challenged, I came here to become a doctor and then help some people.” Says Alessandra McNamara, who allowed me to use her full name for the record. “I’m female, I’m young, and for some reason those two things don’t allow me to be political the way I “should be”. In college, you’re supposed to have a voice… and I guess, yeah, like, you do but… You have a voice in college, but now it has to be the right one- your voice needs to be saying the same thing as everyone else or you’ll be isolated.”
"I've had beers thrown at my head, and I've been kicked out of parties and forced out of classrooms, especially last November." She remarks, remembering when she said that she voted for Trump last year she was ignored by most of most of the people she thought of as friends on campus.
"If you align yourself with someone who wants to put me in harm's way and single me out because of who I am, I don't want to be around you." biology major and 24-year-old Allyssia says from Pace University in New York. "It makes sense to me."
Back in Canada, the political spectrum are less extreme, but expression is not. Most young Canadians are liberal-leaning, and shape their political understanding around the American two- sided spectrum. The difference is, Canadians tend to be more open-minded" "It's their opinion and what they believe, doesn't mean what they believe in is always right, though. It's important to see both sides of the argument." says Lyn, an 18 year-old from Toronto, Canada.
In Canada, being conservative is very different from being conservative i the US. "I feel like Canada has a soft form of conservatism, we're less left-and-right the way the 'States are, y'know?" That's from Lisa, a 20-year-old UTSC student of biology.
And she's correct. In Canada, being conservative is far more laid back than it is in the United States. Both American and Canadian conservatives support the independence of their own nations, the idea of a free press and media and being progressive while maintaining 'traditional' values for the greater good. Canadian politics are not as black and white as American politics are. "In the States, the Democrats and the Republicans are total opposites, they disagree on everything. In Canada, for the most part, both parties see things differently and approach the things they agree on differently too." says Adam, a York University political sciences student.
In the United States, as Adam mentioned, not being able to see both sides of the political spectrum and where your opposition is coming from is common, as Jonas notes : "Everyone does it: professors and dude-bros alike. There's no escaping them. Someone's gonna judge your opinion and then tell you that you're wrong for believing in what you believe in and spend a ten-minute yelling session telling you that you need to re-align yourself- sometimes in front of the whole class."
Being conservative is a challenge because maintaining your political views throughout all of your years of getting your degree in American colleges is not an easy feat. "A lot of my conservative friends went to the other side to fit in." Alessandra says. "You feel really isolated, not just because everyone is telling you that you are wrong about the things you believe in but because no body is willing to listen to where you come from. I think they're afraid of us, especially the profs. Which is really weird, when you think about it."
But when you ask the more democratic- leaning kids on campus what they think about the republican students, most of the reaction sounds a lot like this:
“I feel like they don’t know what they’re doing. They have power, but they choose not to use to the help other people out. They use their politics to put other people down, to make themselves feel superior. They voted for a president that thought that way, and you can tell they don’t have a problem with the idea of a guy like Trump leading the country, or they would have voted for literally anyone else.” 22 year-old Jacob tells me. He also goes to the University of Michigan.
“I agree that we should listen to them more, but when it comes to voicing your opinions, especially at a place like the University of Michigan” (which prompts a ‘whoot whoot’ from his roommate, Chris) “When you’re talking politics, you use your voice to talk about, like, things that make sense to people. Cheaper education, better access to health care. Like, we’re young; we gotta start worrying about things that we have to deal with in the future.”
I ask him if he thinks that if he talks politics that people are going to listen to him and might even change some conservative minds.
“Yeah, I think so anyway. You need to make sure that you’re thinking about yourself when you vote. A lot of the con kids on campus are raised that way. They come from towns in the Midwest that are totally red. Of course they’re gonna be conservative. They gotta realise that they’re voting for themselves and that their parents aren’t watching them anymore. If I tell them what’s happening with their vote, and I’ve done this before, maybe they’ll change their minds. Sometimes it works, too.”
I asked Alessandra the same thing, and she said something pretty different.
“All of the democratic kids are yelling over each other, saying the same thing. They look really stupid while they do that, too. I try to listen to what they’re saying, but their opinions and ideas for the country are a little too up in the air for me. I believe in a free labour market in which people have to take the opportunities that they’re given. If they don’t take it, then that’s too bad and they’ve missed out on their opportunities. It’s a hard world and people aren’t going to make it any easier for you by getting criminals in the White House. Democrats think they will though.”
I asked her what her opinion was on people who think that young republicans are being brainwashed.
“It’s a load of crap, honestly. This is how I think, and I’m thinking realistically and for myself.”
I asked some who I interviewed what they want the future of politics to look like. They all said relatively the same thing, which I think was summed up best in Jacob’s answer:
“Pretty much the same, but also really different… let me explain.”
““Right now, the world doesn’t make a lot of sense. I think we all want politicians who will get up and do something good, not just for our nation, but to make the world a better place. And that’s really challenging; you can’t get people like that anymore. I want for everyone to see eye to eye when it comes to where our country is going. I agree with the two party system, but maybe one where the views aren’t so different. We should all be supporting one another, but just not through politics, through others means, too.”
So what can we do?
"We just have to listen to each other." Jonas says, shrugging a little, because he knows what backlash he can get by saying that. "It's the irony of the open-minded conservative. People don't think you exist."
“Respect the democratic process, and allow people to express themselves. If you truly believe in something, you won’t have to defend it.” Suggests Alessandra.
Jacob looked at this whole situation, from both perspectives (he also got a look at what the other
interviewees said), and told me the following:
"We need to start to understand people beyond their ideas. Your political views do not summarize your entire identity, and we need to remember that about other people. You may not agree with the things other people say, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to listen. Political views only become violent when people become violent."
Lisa and Adam agreed, saying that listening to others allows for your thoughts to be challenged, and that because everyone is in the process of changing, it is important that we understand that our political ideas change, too. Allow yourself to be challenged. Your views aren’t forever, and it’s certainly not your job, as either a student, a professor or anyone else to change the political views of another person, except for when it is directly harmful, “then maybe try to convince them out of it.” Adam says, in a joking but serious expression.
I think it was Janice, who really sent it home: "Sure, people are going to disagree with you. That's how people are. That's democracy. This is proof the process is working. Some people take it too far and lash out if you disagree with them. That's not democracy, and regardless where you come from, it's not getting you anywhere."
Politics are complicated, and having your opinion being heard and understood is a challenge. Learning to listen to the other side, as much as that may go against everything you believe in is how one can discover what they truly believe in
and who they support. Politics is thinking about yourself and what you want the world to look like, but remembering the needs of others as well. Being conservative - the minority - especially in places where all mindsets are to be considered equal, can be especially challenging for some students. So, no matter what side of the political spectrum you come from, step outside your echo chamber, listen to your opponent sand challenge your ideas. This is development, this is democracy, this is the future.
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